#because it's not lmao

[not-poignant]

PIA. WHAT. please tell us about being a professional tea taster!!!!

Ahahaha, there's honestly not much to tell!

I fell into it completely by accident. I didn't actually even used to like tea, but that was because my only exposure was like, the milky sugary shit my english side of the family used to give me, and turns out, I don't like milk or sugar in my tea! I would've liked it just fine if they'd given it to me without those things.

(No shade to people who like milky sugary tea, I believe that stuff is the bomb if you love it, especially with biscuits).

However, a friend's older brother was just starting to be the first place in Western Australia to import in very high quality green, white, oolong and pu-erh teas into the state, and would do so by touring through China first, etc. This was before green tea drinking was really a 'thing' here (late 90s, early 00s), so they were here before any of the 'boutique' tea shops etc.

I started getting involved in tea ceremonies through said friend, started tasting the teas, and eventually we all realised I had a pretty good palate for it, and so I engaged in further training to help them write out their labels / brands etc. and eventually became a tea taster. I specialise in green and oolong, and started to get into white, but I think I miss too much of the nuance to do much more except enjoy it, lol.

Unfortunately their company never went far, they were outcompeted due to being at the crest of the 'green tea drinking is a thing' and while I kept it up for a while, I decided I didn't want to go the tea sommelier route (pairing tea with food), and just kept it up as a general skill, doing tea reviews for a couple of websites.

When I developed anemia, I had to stop drinking tea for a long time, because tea is actually one of the worst things you can drink if you have iron deficiency or any kind of anemia (yes, really, ask your hematologist if you don't believe me).

I can probably have about one/two cups a day now, and I'm one of those elitist bitches who has the temperature kettle (certain teas are best brewed at specific lower temperatures), and only drinks loose leaf tea with no milk, honey, lemon or sugar in sight and sets all my brewings to strict temperatures. But that's just because that's the way I like it. I can't stand matcha, unless it's in a matcha tiramisu. And my personal taste means nothing, because it's about other people's personal tastes. The tea you like says nothing in particular about you, except that you like it. :)

I once had a moment when we had some tradespeople come over and I offered them coffee/tea, and when they said tea, I realised they wanted like... a teabag brewed tea with milk and sugar and on the day we had no milk (I'm lactose intolerant) and only had green teas and I felt so embarrassed, lmao, so now I always carry some teabag tea for guests.

This is now my favourite brand:

And this is what they all look like.

I go through them a lot more slowly than I used to! And I don't drink much black tea anymore sadly due to reflux, but I'll still make time for it.

I can talk a little too much about different provinces, aging techniques, and more, but not enough to do it as a job anymore. But I loved it when I did it and I still love sharing green tea with the friends who love it these days.

Lmao me like 'there's not much to tell' but still manages to turn it into like 100 paragraphds fasdlkjfsa

[everythingwasnormalhere]

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[durisicle]

logan's two little hair tufts make him look like a meow meow :)

[napping-sapphic]

take your clothes off and get on the bed what no we aren’t having sex right now we’re cuddling and pressing every inch of skin together as close as possible for the next six hours

[mikimuun]

fanart of this fantastic au animated by @blabberoo

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[cuntylouis]

Lestat + his wedding band 2.07 'I Could Not Prevent It' / Meet the Vampire Lestat teaser

[novaneondream]

Anyways what kind of music do you think Eri listens to

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[nipuni]

the snake of eden 🥰

[sczawr]

doodles of Amy and Neo Metal Sonic as Lady Nimue and Sir Pelleas from my and my gangs satbk au! Neo's design is also by @mmm-asbestos!

[etoilesdeglace]

"That is an amazing D&D choice." (x)

[birdy-babe]

Blitzøs entire life spent being unwanted. So he adapted, and learned how to be something needed, something to be used.

Which is why I think he firmly believes he is being used by Stolas. He simply cannot fathom a different reality, one in which he is wanted for once in his life.

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?