#because it's healing to ME
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if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing
#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate.#you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you#think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth.#then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty#house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive#this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died.#and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first#place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever#given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and#you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's#everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you#have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love#more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me.#real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you.#and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love.#lit#the hunger games#everlark#otp: real or not real?#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#text#tais toi lys#thgpost
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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I can't really word exactly why this episode breaks me so goshdang much, but it does. It never fails to make me cry no matter where I'm at emotionally when I'm watching it. It just breaks and heals my heart and soul in a way very few pieces of media have ever managed to. So I'm dropping this here. Enjoy.
#Youtube#bluey#“be normal about it” i am 🥺#I'm not joking when i say that bluey really can be healing#especially for people who experienced trauma as a kid#me being one of them 🥺#it also reminds me a lot of nights growing up for me#so ik there's gonna be a bunch of people scoffing at me for this but#i dont care#because it's healing to ME#and that's what matters#asterrisks
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sorry but i am very interested in piercings. also you can put in the tags how many total you have if you want
#the process and healing of the piercing is what is most interesting to me. because of the autism.#i do not make polls usually but i would like to know this. i have 6 btw.#7 total but my helix is still healing (she is healing really well surprisingly)#poll
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My followers: And is this “writing” you’ve been “working on” in the room with us right now?
#writing#writeblr#writer things#writing humour#textpost#writing humor#relatable#funny#I genuinely am writing for the first time in a long while#but it’s uh it’s for an angst fanfic for a fandom one wouldn’t expect fic for necessarily#and I’m embarrassed but I’m not because it’s good but you’re never seeing it it’s between me and my ao3 when I finally do finish it#it’s at 6000 words but fr that’s the most I’ve written on a single thing in a long time and it’s still going!#last time I wrote/finished anything in forever was also for this fandom back in November <3 nature is healing#it’s slow going but I’m hoping to finish it before June 😭
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I don’t talk about my love for Kira Nerys too often because. Look. I think if DS9 handles anything well, it’s Kira, hands down.
Her character development is a work of art. She is so traumatised, so angry, so beaten down and STILL FIGHTING at the start. She struggles so much with her PTSD, with the idea that she is ever allowed to be in anything but attack mode…
And then, slowly, gradually, she becomes a whole new person. She laughs, she smiles, she makes corny jokes, she does dumb fun things for the sake of enjoying herself. She has friends, she has a family, she is surrounded by love and joy and HOPE.
Even in the middle of second war, she’s DIFFERENT now. She’s not the same miserable angry person she was, afraid to let go of the vigilant surivival instincts that kept her alive for so long. She’s come back to life as a person who has something to live for.
She has done terrible things. Her hands are stained with blood. She is never going to be able to forget her trauma or the suffering, both her own and that of her people, nor the suffering she inflicted while fighting for her freedom. But she recovers. She heals. She carves out an existence where she is truly, genuinely happy to be alive.
I don’t need to talk about Kira as much as some other characters because this all happens on screen. It’s right there, and it’s beautiful and perfect.
Kira Nerys goes from a person who cannot conceive of herself outside of the horrors she has suffered, inflicted, and fought against, to someone for whom her trauma is just one part of the larger picture, a piece of a rich and vibrant tapestry that is now filled, overwhelmingly, with joy.
Kira Nerys is like, hands down, bar none, one of, if not THE best characters Star Trek has ever created. I love her so much. She is just, completely and utterly perfect, especially in her flaws.
#stella talks#star trek ds9#star trek#kira nerys#.but see I don’t feel compelled to write fics about Kira.#.because I think her writing on the show is already pretty damn close to perfect.#.thanks in no small part to Nana visitor absolutely locking in on exactly who Kira was and should be.#.like she isn’t perfect because she’s flawless.#.she’s super fucking flawed.#.but she’s perfect because she is so flawed and so human and she grows so much and learns to thrive again.#.and god her whole character is just… she’s perfect okay.#.I love her so much I love her I love her I love her I love her.#.like the reason School Live is my favourite manga.#.is because it takes these deeply traumatised kids and then slowly. gradually. shows the#.shows them finding hope and reasons to live and learning to thrive in an absolute nightmare.#.the epilogue made me cry because it showed that they had found ACTUAL HAPPINESS after the hell they endured.#.I am such a sucker for stories about people learning to heal from trauma okay.#.and Kira Nerys is built on a foundation of trauma and she goes and builds a fucking castle on top of it from all the love inside her.#.I can’t emphasise enough how much I love her.#trek meta
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The art of the sleeping sapphic
#this is my all time favorite trope#the intimacy of it all#not even about the clothes or lack thereof#it's just getting to see these couples finally rest and find comfort in each other#and ultimately that sleep is the most solitary of acts but the romance and trust of doing it together#also because I was watching affair and thinking about how sleep is such an important part of their trauma and ultimately healing#maybe I do another deep dive into that#but anyways it brought me back to juliantina#because I wanted to frame that first image#and that image from Gap was one that I loved#also this is absolutely the pipeline that I think a lot of us went down#amar a muerte#juliantina#barbarena#gap the series#monsam#freenbecky#affair the series#wanpleng#lmsy#thai gl#gl series
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two people who were discarded by their childhood friends
#i hope they find something in each other#obey me mephistopheles#obey me fanart#obey me mc#im reluctant to tag as MC because this is MY BABYY#qixin#i like to place qixin everywhere because the amount of grief they feel is never ending#new people offer new ways of healing i suppose !!!!#xia art
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coming back from the dead with a wip of a walk cycle of my bug
keys n breakdowns so far
#ultrakill#ultrakill animation#w1 ultrakill#v1#v2#w1#my art#animation#sorry ive been gone ive been DYING to draw comics for this blog trust me#but i got a hand injury and i really need to spare it#im hoping i can get to do some more art as i start healing ^^#tw flashing#cw flashing#because of the little color bubbles i forgot to remove during export
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Someone planted in my head that todoroki playing with eri would heal his inner child because he grew up not allowed to play with his siblings or have any friends so!
Imagine one day you lug in a huge lego set or a puzzle and you ask him to help you with it. Shoto, who generally is a quieter and calmer soul, finds peace and comfort in it. The both of you spend hours on it, even if he's tired after work. He starts buying more and more sets, and lets be honest....dabi or one of the older todoroki siblings probably guilted endeavour into spending money on these sets for his adult son.
Then, you bring in beyblades and the two of you start having mini battles that have narrations and everything. I'd like to think that Shoto already has some experience with this because of Class A and used to do this a lot with kaminari and the rest! Sometimes, when Class A would have a get together (no matter how infrequent they may be), they still take out the board games and get super fucking competitive.
I'd like to think that no matter what, Class A spent years in school with weekly game nights!!
Then! One day, you drag shoto with you to watch the Barbie movie which he LOVED, he wore pink and everything, and got really curious when you talked about playing with dolls as a kid. He played with dolls as a kid but generally on his own.
Next thing he knows, you bought some toys and the two of you were sat on the living room floor playing with dolls. Shoto, in all honestly, felt silly doing so but didn't wanna discourage you so he played along. At first, he played it with a very no nonsense tone, made the bear have a job and responsibilities.
"Ah, tax season is coming around...it'll be tough this year."
"Shoto....I don't think the bear needs to worry about taxes."
"She's a businesswoman, it's her civic duty to pay taxes."
"Well she didn't so now she's under arrest :)"
"Ah fuck."
Pretty soon this just fizzled out into a plushie collection that included his own eventual plushies, his friend's plushies, bunnies and bears and cats. He even had those giant ones that are almost life sized. Yes, some of them he bought them for you and you bought for him but they turned into a shared custody situation.
One day, Touya visits with the two of you sitting on the living room floor, shoto's hair braided and cute star stickers on his face. You were focusing heavily on painting his nails half white and half red. Shoto just made eye contact with his older brother and grinned, asking if he wanted his nails painted.
"Do ya'll have black?" Touya asked.
"We have sparkly navy blue?"
"Fucking fine."
And that's how he ended up on the floor too, with his legs crossed and a cat plushie between them, having his nails painted while his baby brother tied his hair into pigtails. The man complained really loudly about it but had no intention of moving.
#shoto healing his inner child heals ME#honorary touya cameo because he deserves to heal his inner child too!#this idea came and i just had to write it#shoto todoroki x reader#shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#mha x reader#bnha fanfiction#bnha fic#bnha headcannons#bnha x reader#bnha x you
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have been feeling under the weather lately, so i daydreamed a silly nurse moon to take care of me
also couldn't decide which i liked better so i leave the choice to you, brave patient. which nurse will you choose?
#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#bright colours#digital art#do you prefer slim stockings#or jesterpants and a hint of exposed ankle?#sometimes instead of working or drawing the things you planned to draw#the best medicine is to draw the random brainrot in your head#regardless of the nonsense your silly little brain tries to fool you with#sometimes you just gotta go#rejoice#nurse moon be upon me#i have also dreamt of a personal trainer Sun#because the only way to heal my terrible relationship with exercise and my appearance#is to have a buff 7 foot something sun robot encourage me through it and call me “cute little thing”#scratch what i said earlier#the best medicine is blorbos#i'll draw personal trainer sun later i need to look up references
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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the thing is; this world needs you exactly as you are.
#haven't posted in a while because i don't have a lot to say#the vast volume of posts in the past were often coming from the version of me that needed to hear them#lately i don't need to hear anything. i guess.#there might be something there#anyway. i hope you're doing well! i'm in the thick of my internship and working every day all day#i did decide that i HAVE to learn blender all of a sudden last weekend so that's going on#and i'm trying to get tickets to skz tomorrow... wish me so much luck#ok. love you. bye again!#positivity#mental health#the healing (starts here)#growth in the self#positive suggestions
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I like the “Rise! Leo is the team medic” head cannon. But I find it super weird when it’s used as a point of contrast between Rise! Leo and 2012! Leo.
#I’ve seen a few fanfics where it’s a complete shock to the 2012 boys that Rise! Leo is the team medic#simply because a Leo is acting like a medic#which is weird to me because 2012! Leo has been shown to be the one to give medical attention to his bros multiple times#plus the whole ‘healing hands’ thing#tmnt#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#tmnt crossover#rise of the tmnt#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt leonardo#2012 leo#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rise leonardo#2012 leonardo
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal
#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7#he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them#than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was#so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times#but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute#that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems#from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now#and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd healing#cptsd recovery#cptsdawareness#trauma survivor#trauma recovery
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