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jnnul · 1 year

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five questions

a/n: and here is the first of the wips! i know this was supposed to come out on friday and now it's almost wednesday but it's out and that's worth something, right? i hope you love this little fluff piece + mark as much as i do!

word count: 5.1k

tags: finance bro mark and y/n, slice of life, mostly fluff, kinda your typical suburban modern day couple, idk they’re just good ppl who experience a slow and sweet romance, oh! and mark sucks at beer pong

sorry, is this seat taken?

you pride yourself on not being a very superficial person. you always look deeper into a person of interest and in the past, your friends have made fun of you because you never seemed to find the people they thought were attractive very hot at all.

he seems like he swears at his mom. they give off the impression that they are rude to waitstaff. i don’t care how hot she is, she’s literally fighting with a customer service worker for no reason.

did it mean that your ability to look past superficial identity led to you giving some pretty sketchy people second chances? maybe. but usually, it did more good than harm.

but for all of your in depth thinking, you realize that you’re just as superficial as every last one of your friends when the man of your dreams asks you to marry him.

what he really says is, “is this seat taken?” but it all sounds the same when you’re half in love.

with dark eyes that are bright and shine with innocent curiosity, slender lips with a slight pout, and tousled black hair that falls into his eyes, you realize this man looks like nothing short of an angel.

you stutter out a squeaky, "no, go ahead!" before moving your laptop a little closer to you so that the hot stranger could have space to put his things down. he offers you a sweet smile before sliding into the seat next to you.

"my name is mark, by the way," he says once he's settled into his seat. he's about to ask your name but he nods to the keychain that's attached to your lanyard. "i'm guessing your name is y/n? that's a cute keychain."

"yeah," you say, flipping the keychain so that mark could see it properly. "one of the kids i teach made me it a couple years ago and i've carried it around ever since."

mark's eyebrows furrow at that as he checks his calendar to make sure that he's in the right class. "you're an education major? what's an education major doing in a business statistics class? this class is an upper level business class i thought?"

you nod and close your laptop so that mark could see the sticker on the backside of your laptop. you point out the biggest one that has 'ucla - anderson school of management' written in bright yellow letters. mark's eyebrows knit as he reads it and you can't help but laugh softly at how utterly confused he looks.

"i'm a finance major. i just really like kids so i spent last summer juggling between an internship at apple and volunteering at a learning summer camp for kids who are underprivileged in education," you explain, watching as mark's confusion turns to awe, his dark eyes glinting as you explain.

"damn. that's so cool of you, y/n. i'm sorry i assumed you were an education major. turns out you're just an angel instead," mark says, almost offhandedly. you freeze at the last sentence and immediately, mark's ears turn bright red as he realizes what he had said.

you to turn to face forward as mark rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and if you weren't so damn flustered, you would take a picture of how incredibly cute he looks.

mark had pretty privilege, as far as you were concerned. if any other person said that, you would probably just laugh it off and thank them but a single comment from mark had you blushing and internally combusting. the worst part? you didn't even mind it.

the two of you are silent for another couple minutes before you turn to him once more, a corner of your lips tilted upwards, a teasing look in your eyes.

"you know i definitely don't mind being called angel by a pretty boy," you say casually. you try not to let your voice give away how nervous mark actually makes you but there's still a little shake when you say the word 'pretty'. because really, mark was so pretty. just...too pretty to be good for your heart.

it doesn't really matter though because mark looks at you like you've personally put the stars in the sky.

"you think i'm pretty?" mark says, his voice soft and tentative. you look at him strangely. surely he had heard that many times over the course of his life? why did he sound so surprised?

"i think you're very pretty, mark," you say matter-of-factly. mark wants to say something else but everyone has filed in and it seems as though the professor is starting the lecture soon as the lights begin to dim in the hall.

mark has heard that he was attractive many times before. in fact, he'd probably become synonymous with the word handsome, as his superlative in high school was 'most likely to become a famous singer' and 'most likely to win prom king'.

so why did his heart flutter so much when you called him pretty?

can you help me with this one?

turns out, mark is shit at statistics. he's great at the business part, as you have learned over the past three weeks of sitting next to each other and working on the practice problems together. but the actual statistics? you might as well be working with a victorian child.

"i still don't understand why you can't just assume that this condition applies in all scenarios," mark says as he reads through the question once more. the two of you had grown pretty close over the past month or so, and often, you would go to the library after class to work on the assigned homework or projects together.

mark was a good study buddy (he always brought good snacks) and he had a great work ethic that made you feel guilty about not studying when he was. not to mention that he was gorgeous eye candy to look at whenever you needed to take a break from your work.

which was pretty much all the time if it meant looking at mark lee a little while longer.

your friends had teased you when you described your encounters with mark thus far. although they never really crossed the line between platonic and romantic relationships, just the fact that you were practically dying of anticipation was enough to rile your friends up.

you had had a few partners in the past but most of them ended at the situationship stage - very few of them become actual relationships. so, you had put a pause on dating for good (much to the dismay of your gossip mongering best friends) and had been happily single for the past year or so. unfortunately, that was when you met mark lee and your heart decided to rebel against all sense of logic.

besides his pretty face (your friends were very surprised to hear that you had developed a crush on a good looking man for once; you had a seriously incriminating track record), mark lee had a pretty heart. he was so incredibly humble and kind to everyone he knew - which was a lot of people, as you came to learn. he was super friendly and great at remembering little details about people that made them feel as though he truly cared about them.

which he really did. it seemed like mark truly cared a lot about every single one of his seemingly thousands of friends and went out of his way to make them feel loved. for you, however, it seemed like he went above and beyond.

it seemed as though after mark (and you, really) had gotten over the initial shyness and awkwardness, the two of you were rarely seen apart. you weren't sure if the two of you were toeing the line of romantic relationship yet, but it just felt like you guys were having fun. even without a label or anything, you and mark tended to gravitate towards each other in social situations and even made consistent efforts to see each other outside of your respective friend groups.

for example, you really didn't belong in the frat scene. you had expended all of the energy and patience you had for frat house parties during your freshman year and quite frankly, as a junior in college, it felt kind of embarrassing to go to them without having any real connections to brothers themselves.

but mark was a brother in nu chi theta so within the first month of your friendship, you found yourself at the NCT house with a red solo cup and an uncomfortable top on.

"hey y/n! i'm losing over here! can you help me with this one?" mark calls out from behind you. you turn around to see him extending a ping-pong ball (that smelled like it was coated in beer, vodka, and...laundry detergent?) in your direction. you look to see if your friends, who you had dragged along to the party, were going to save you from death by beer pong but you're on your own when you see two of your friends making out with the same boy.

you would stop them but the image was far too gruesome and downright hilarious. and in their drunken state, you doubted you could really separate the lovebirds (?) anyway.

"alright, but it's gonna cost you, lee," you sigh dramatically, setting your cup down on the counter before accepting the ping-pong ball, your fingers brushing over mark's.

"name your price," mark says confidently as you line up your shot, ignoring the heat that radiates off of mark's body as you realize that mark was a lot closer than you had previously anticipated. his words sink into your skin and you involuntarily shiver when you feel his breath on your neck.

"hmm...i'll have to think about it..." you trail off, finally throwing the little ping-pong ball into the cup. you turn so that your chest was pressed against mark's front and all your thoughts have been replaced by the look of his eyes in the dim lighting. the words tumble out of your mouth before you even realize what you're saying.

"go on a date with me?"

your heart drops as you see mark's face turn from confusion to shock and then back to confusion. he rubs his neck awkwardly (a habit, you had noticed, that tended to present himself when he felt particularly confused) as he licks his lips nervously.

"was...was us hanging out everyday not...dating? i kinda thought we were already going on dates," mark mumbles, his cheeks flushed. you stare at him and a strange gurgling laughter rips out of your mouth before you clamp your hand over your mouth, your eyes wide in horror at the sound that came out of your mouth.

"does this mean you like me?" you ask, and once again, you're graced with the sight of mark lee looking just all too angelic under the strobe lighting as he nods before tentatively making eye contact with you.

"uh...if you asked me on a date, am i safe to assume that you like me too?" mark proposes and the way that he says it, almost like he was presenting a business pitch to a potential investor, makes you laugh once more as you lean a little closer to mark, your lips barely brushing against his.

"more than you realize, mark."

can i come inside?

the first time mark came with you to help out with the kids at the school, it was completely unexpected. another one of the student teachers had suddenly fallen ill (you found out a few months later that at his girlfriend's baby shower that he was not, in fact, sick) and no one else was available to help out.

your supervisor was a sweet old lady who was dedicated to helping as much as she could before 'her joints gave up on her' - which meant that oftentimes, she tried to take on more responsibility than she really could. and then that meant that she often didn't hire enough staff to keep the place running, hoping that she could do all of the administrative things herself so that all of the people who did come in could focus on working with the kids. needless to say, as one of the only volunteers who had been with the organization for more than four years, you knew more than well that the sweet old lady needed more people to help her out.

so, you forced your boyfriend of three years to help you out. well, not really forced. mark had the day off from work because it was the day before july 4th and really didn't have any plans for the day. so when mrs. varghese calls you frantically at nine o'clock the previous night, mark offered to come with you.

"we've been together for the past three years and we've been living together for the past one and a half. i lose my girlfriend every monday and thursday evening to kids. i gotta meet the little suckers who've been monopolizing my girlfriend." which was mark's stupid way of saying i love you. let me help you out a little bit. let me be part of your world. maybe in the disney princess way.

and you're a sucker for kids and your boyfriend, even after dating for three years, so you agree and the next day, you're piling into the passenger seat at seven in the morning to teach young children addition and subtraction.

not really how the two of you (mostly mark) were planning on spending on of your rare days off but you could never deny mrs. varghese of anything. especially if it meant more time with the kids.

mark always joked about how you should've become a teacher but as much as you loved the children and the interactions with them, you were not a fan of the underpaying salaries. so you made it a point to become successful in your career and dedicate a percentage of your paycheck to donate to the school you volunteered at instead.

which had caused some struggles when you first moved in with mark, given that it was only the two of you rather than you living with three of your friends and your share of the rent went higher. but you figured it out and mark definitely wasn't the type of person to hold it over your head that you weren't able to pay your full share of rent for the first two months.

because that's just who he was. he would cover for you, covering up all of the little parts of yourself that you didn't like. and you would help him see that those blemishes he thought he had were just things that made him more lovable to you.

so when mark steps into the little school and immediately, kids are swarming to the two of you, trying to find out who the attractive boyfriend was, you're not even surprised. mark had a natural, comforting air about him (not to mention the fact that the kids were overly invested in your personal life) that made people want to draw to him like moths to a flame.

in fact, he's so overwhelmed by the love that the kids are showing him, he's still hovering around the door awkwardly, semi-bowing to mrs. varghese, who's watching him with amusement.

"can i come inside?" mark asks, trying to take a step forward while not hurting any little kids. you snort at his awkward shuffle before clapping your hands together, taking it upon yourself to relieve your poor boyfriend from the possibility of death by enthusiastic children.

"can you or may you?" mrs. varghese says with a humorous smile and mark's eyebrows furrow as he contemplates the question. the kids are slowly making their way over to you, where you're starting to distribute fruit pouches as a morning snack and mark finally feels as though he's only carrying his own body weight - as opposed to ten other children's.

"it was 'can i' at first but now i think it's more of a 'may i'. mrs. varghese, i presume?" mark says, extending his hand for the old lady to shake. she just looks at it strangely before gathering mark in a tight, bone-crushing hug.

for such a frail old lady, she had a lot of strength.

"get out of here with those manners. y/n's told me a lot about. and anyone in y/n's corner is family here, alright?" mrs. varghese says, and mark has to blink furiously to push back the tears, although he can't really tell why her words are hitting him so hard.

"thanks."

you mean that?

mark was really easy to love. that's just the type of person he was. in everyone else's eyes, he was a good guy who just always tried to be better at the things he was already incredibly good at. he was always polite with strangers, babies cooed at him, and was the type to be the person to start a 'pay-it-forward' queue whenever he could afford to do so.

and for all of his perfectness, mark was a very flawed man. he was a little bit of a miser - he hated to spend money on himself, even if he would splurge a little more on you. he was a little bit on the insecure side, and no matter how many times you told him that you loved him all the more for his quirks, he still got down about it. mark was also really bad at communication when things made him upset. he was just so easy-going that he would let the smaller things accumulate and build until he's practically bursting.

and mark was kinda mean when he got angry.

he would never hurt you, of course. mark didn't think he could ever live with himself if he knew that he had laid a hand on anyone - but you in particular. and he really, really was trying to work on his communication skills so that he wouldn't let it build and then get so angry.

but when mark got angry, he seemed to just turn into a different person. it had only happened once in your relationship before, almost right after you had moved in together

it was about something incredibly stupid but the tension had been building for a while prior to that. technically, before you moved in, the apartment had been mark and one of his friend's, johnny seo from school, before johnny had moved out to move in with his own girlfriend. and mark and johnny weren't exactly...the cleanest people. you didn't really mind the mess but soon it turned into an unhealthy balance of mark leaving things around the house and you having to clean up after him.

not to mention that a lot changes when a couple moves in together. naturally, tensions were running a little high. for all your cleanliness, you had a really bad habit of leaving unfinished meals in the fridge until they went bad and started to smell, which made mark upset because that was a waste of a valuable meal. and so on and so forth.

one day, the tensions just burst and the two of you ended up in a screaming match going back and forth and back and forth about cleanliness and not eating properly and soon, it escalated from a conversation about living together to being together in the first place.

mark regretted it almost immediately, cursing himself out when he saw you just completely shut down in front of his eyes. he knew his anger got the best of him sometimes, and when he was in the moment, all he could think about was winning the argument, no matter what he needed to say to win.

that had been the worst fight you've ever had. after that fight, you got a lot better about portioning your food to eliminate leftovers and mark made a more conscious effort to clean up. you also started talking more to each other about what things did or didn't make you happy.

but even as mark was getting better at communicating with you, he still didn't know how to raise up issues with you. usually, you would tell mark what you were up to and then you would naturally ask him yourself if he was comfortable with what you were doing. he would then reply with a simple yes or no with an explanation and that would be the end of that. he always hesitated to raise up an issue with you though. he didn't want you to think that he was trying to control your life or be one of those possessive boyfriends.

one day, though, you were out clubbing with your friends (your friend had recently broken up with her fiancé and she really needed her girlfriends) and you had come home pretty late. mark had stayed up, watching a movie (barely), worried about you making it home safely because he knew that your friends were prone to trying to get you as wasted as possible.

mark never told you explicitly but you had a feeling that's how he felt. it frustrated you though that he never said anything to you and wait for you to bring it up to him instead. so that night, you decided to drink a little more than usual (but not as much as they tried to make you drink) so that you could finally, finally get mark to talk to you about his issues.

really, for your behavior, you were expecting to have a round two of what had happened when you first moved in with him. you were imagining a screaming match like no other but instead, mark just looks at you, sighs, and pulls you into a hug when you come stumbling through the door. confused, you begin to pull away, but mark just continues to hold you tight.

"i was so worried that you might not get home safe. and i promise we'll have a proper conversation about this when you're sober in the morning but i love you so much and...let's just talk about this in the morning, okay?" mark mumbles into your hair. you let mark just rock you gently side to side as he clings onto you, completely opposite from the reaction you were expecting.

"mark, i'm not drunk. i just...i'm tired of always being the one to bring up issues. i know that you don't like it when i get drunk outside because you're worried for me but i'd rather you tell me that than me having to guess that by myself. i can make my own decisions and i'm a big independent girl but you're the singular most important person in my life. i would never consciously do something to make you uncomfortable but i make mistakes sometimes. i need you to be open and honest with me when something makes you uncomfortable - because i know it takes a lot to get that far in the first place."

mark steps back to look you in the eyes, his eyes glittering in the shitty lighting of the apartment. "you really mean that?"

"i mean it with my whole heart."

do you promise to love me for the rest of our lives?

mark tries not to trip. he tries really hard to hold in his sneezes, tears, and any other bodily fluids that are inappropriate for the situation. but the nearly fifteen feet from the entrance to the where the officiant is standing is enough to make mark want to puke all over the very expensive carpet you bought for the wedding.

when you first proposed having a backyard wedding, mark was extremely opposed.

a wedding was a once in a lifetime day where you could celebrate your union together with your partner and start the journey to the rest of your lives together. in fact, it was mark, not you, who had the pinterest board (although, to be fair, it wasn't actually a pinterest board and was rather just a folder on his phone of screenshots from pretty tiktoks). he had a vision for the wedding - one that included all members of your friend circle, your families, and your family friends as well.

and well, that wasn't really in the budget. rather than spend 100k on a one day event, you proposed having a backyard wedding that would be significantly more economical and using that 100k to buy a starter home.

"you still get your expensive venue and we have a place to move into. a real home that we can start a family in, mark," you had argued as mark paced back and forth in the small, almost cramped apartment the two of you shared. mark stops when he realizes that it only takes fourteen steps to make it from one side of the room to the other side and back.

and that was the biggest room.

so mark agrees on one condition: there are no lacking traditional elements of the wedding. the both of you worked together on the pain-staking process of planning a wedding that included portions of your culture and his culture to put on the wedding of a lifetime. hopefully the only wedding of your lifetimes.

well, the only wedding for you and mark, at least. but that was about the future and in the present, mark can barely keep from keeling over right there at the beautifully decorated altar that you and your mother had spent hours on.

after so long of being together, mark can't help but feel just so incredibly lucky and overwhelmed to be finally marrying you. you. the person of his dreams. the person who taught him that love isn't always fireworks and euphoric thrills; that love can be huddling together when gas bills were too high to pay and wanting nothing more than to see your significant other when it's been a long day.

love was you and mark really, really can't wait to finally show the world how much he truly loved you.

unsurprisingly, mark almost cries when you finally enter, the picture of the stunning bride as you clutch your father's arm for the last time as y/n l/n instead of y/n lee. mark isn't sure the last time he saw you this nervous but when you meet his eyes, he can feel the rest of the world melt away.

just normal people with enough love to fill the world, is what you say in your vows. just a guy and a girl in the same business class who never travel business class because the two of you are such money minders - something that my soon to be husband has rubbed off on me.

"i will never forget the moment that i knew i was so irrevocably love with mark. it was two days after we fought for the first time. i remember that i was so incredibly angry and scared that that fight would be the end of y/n and mark. that i would have to move out and redownload tinder and just be miserable again for losing one of the best things in my life over a little sock in the wrong place and leftover pizza."

"but two days after we fought, mark came up to me, hugged me and just said, 'we're gonna get through this. i love you too much to not get through this.' and even though everything just seemed so uncertain, the moment mark said that, i knew instantly that we really were going to get through it. because mark had faith in us. and i have faith in us. i love you, mark lee. from the moment you sat down in that ucla business class. i have loved you for so long and i will continue to love you forever."

there isn't a single dry eye in the house (quite literally) after your vow. mark has to clear his throat four or five times before he can start his vows, too afraid that his voice would give out on him in the middle due to how much emotion he was feeling.

"y/n, you asked me one day when we were binging american horror story and pigging out with a family sized bag of chips when i started falling in love with you. and i couldn't answer then so i just said that for as long as i can remember. and that's true - i still don't know when i fell in love with you. i just remember that one day i woke up alone in bed (don't worry mr. l/n, i have never slept in a ten mile radius of your daughter...please don't make her divorce me) and thinking that i would rather wake up next to you instead for the rest of my life."

"but i do know when i realized you were my soulmate. five moments when i knew i found the one. when i asked you if i could sit down next to you in business class. when i asked you to help me with statistics because for being a business major, i'm horrible at math - go figure. when i volunteered with you for the first time with mrs. varghese. mrs. varghese! - where are you - mrs. varghese! may i marry y/n? then i'll be real family."

mrs. varghese blows into a handkerchief unceremoniously, waving mark off through her tears, making the crowd and you laugh a little. mark's smile grows when he sees you laugh and continues on nervously.

"and the fourth moment was the time when you gave me a reality check. when you reminded me that love doesn't work without communication. you've changed me so much for the better, y/n, and i truly could not thank you enough for it. so, i have one last question for you. one last moment for me to know that we're soulmates."

mark takes a deep breath, holding one of your hands in both of his as he looks at you with soft eyes, so filled with love that your breath catches in your throat. "i promise to love you and stand by you for as long as i breathe. can you - can you promise...do you promise to love me for the rest of our lives?"

it seems as though everyone in the venue is holding their breath before you press a sweet kiss to mark's cheek and say the words that everyone has been waiting for.

"i do."

and with those five questions, mark lee had found his soulmate.

#jnnul #nct dream fic #nct 127 fic #nct fluff #mark lee #nct headcanons #nct dream fluff #nct dream #nct #mark lee fic #mark fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 headcanons #nct dream headcanons #mark headcanons

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qtubbo · 9 months

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Some random qbagi headcanons in no particular order :]:

She likes wearing clothes that make her chest look smaller, she just likes how it looks she is anti the little underboob shadow

She wears really intense red eyeshadow, that she makes herself (and now with a bit of help from empanada and tina <3)

She likes practicing new hairstyles with Empanada every day it’s really just an excuse to be very physically affectionate and talk every morning

She’ll always stop at doorways to check if anyone’s listening regardless of where she is

She’s really muscular but it isn’t obvious due to her baggy clothes, and giant coat

She lets Empanada put any of the pretty feathers she finds into her hat, and hasn’t taken any of them out

She steals Tubbo’s nicer clothes to repurpose them for herself by sewing different stuff together or fitting it to her own size, if she can steal it, she is not buying it

She hand-makes most of the toys that Empanada has, she really does not like spending money (or leaving a record) if she doesn’t have to

She doesn’t read the instructions on anything and chooses to try and figure it out through observation and clues (its like a fun puzzle for herself)

She’s about 5’11 but is so crouched into herself with horrible posture so she looks about Pac’s height

She does kickboxing to destress, and can knock someone unconscious with relative ease

She’s almost always wearing headphones that are allways blasting music to max (she may have a few hearing issues)

She knows how to drive a motorcycle but is always terrified when riding (she wants to get that under control so she can drive tina around town all cool like)

She has a lot of ear piercings

She feels a lot safer underground and untouchable, she’s the most scared in an open place with a lot of people.

She leaves space on her wall of “family” portraits/pictures for new one with Cellbit

She has really high pain tolerance, and just fakes it because she wants to sound more normal

She’ll put random stuff in her mouth and chew on it before spitting it out once she’s realized

She writes fake notes in her notebooks so that if anyone finds them they’ll be mislead

She will not take off her favorite pair of boots and wears them everywhere outside the house, she has no other pair of shoes and she does not want anymore.

She wakes up with the biggest bed head in the world and it takes her like an hour to even remotely wake up

She grinds her teeth a lot, especially when nervous

She makes two cups of tea every night incase Bad or Tina come over (even though it makes her a bit repulsed) sometimes when she can’t stomach that she’ll just pour 2 cups of beer

She’s bisexual but hasn’t really thought about it much other than I like girls and everyone else looks hot sometimes too

Having such a big garden down in her base with practically everything you could imagine made her take up cooking, she likes trying a new recipe every night. Bagi says it may end up being a survival skill in the future but she really just wants to spoil Empanada and show off to Tina.

#qsmp #Qsmp bagi #Extremely long list ermm give me your headcanons pretty please I need more bagi enjoyers

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ardorwritesfanfic · 1 year

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Dr. Stone x Reader - Boyband AU!

Genre: Fluff, just general headcanons lol. Modern!AU, Band!AU

Featuring: The Five Wise Generals!

A/N: Hey y’all! It’s been a really long time! I’ve had this AU idea in my head for a while now and I thought it was time to share it with y’all! Enjoy!

Senku Ishigami

Senku was kind of blackmailed into the band lol

When the band was still new, he worked behind the scenes.

Unfortunately, Chrome decided to post a video of Senku singing to himself while working on his latest science project

The video went viral, and every record company that wanted the band wanted Senku as a main member.

He joined with the idea that he MIGHT be able to hitch a ride into space one day.

In the early stages of your relationship, Senku is not very affectionate.

He tends to show his affection towards you in small ways

When you attend the band’s concerts, he immediately finds you in the crowd.

Once he finds you, he’ll sing to you.

He engages with the rest of the crowd, so that it’s not obvious that he’s focusing only on you. But his gaze always finds its way back to you.

When he’s recording songs, or rehearsing for concerts, he demands you come along.

He usually will say it’s because it’s the only way he can stand the process, really he just wants to impress you~

On social media, he probably won’t post pictures of you two outright.

However, he will post sneaky hand holding pictures where you can’t see either of your faces.

In interviews, he’ll say that he’s taken, but won’t mention who you are directly unless you want him too.

Senku can get pretty rowdy on stage (especially since Ryusui often instigates it), strictly for the purpose of riling up his fans (and you)

He’ll ask you afterwards if he was successful, and if he was, he’ll tease you about it.

Senku also values your private time together, so he’ll definitely take the time to be more vulnerable and affectionate with you after concerts.

He’ll sing softly to you while you drift off to sleep, but if you ask him about it he will completely deny it.

Also, he will bring you on tour with him~

Ryusui Nanami

Ryusui joined the band as soon as Chrome proposed the idea.

“I want it all!” Was his primary reasoning

The fame, the spotlight, and the fans, he wanted all of it.

He provides most “fan-service” in the group, usually including Senku or Chrome in his antics.

He’s the band member that knows that everyone thinks he’s got, and will flaunt it.

However, he make sure to reassure that he only has eyes for you.

You are his treasure, the one thing he desires more than what the band or fame can give him.

Ryusui writes most of the band’s songs alongside Chrome and Gen. Most of them are about you in some way

He’ll serenade you when he finishes a song, and insists that you’re with him while he’s writing

Like Senku, Ryusui brings you everywhere with him.

He’ll bring you to photo shoots, interviews, rehearsals, and on tour.

If you let him, he will 100% show you off.

He’ll bring you up on stage and flirt with you while he performs.

He’ll ask to include you in his photoshoots, and will bring you up at every opportunity in interview.

He’ll post cute date photos of you on his social media too!

He knows that his lifestyle can get overwhelming and tiring, so he makes sure that he’s always there for you.

He’ll often sing you to sleep after a long day, pulling you closer to him as he wonders how he got so lucky to have you in his life.

Chrome

Chrome is the front man of the group, the leader.

The band was his idea, and he put his blood, sweat and tears into it.

He started all of the social media pages, wrote all of their early songs, coordinated all of their outfits, etc.

This band is his baby!

You were the first person he told when the band finally got a contract with a record label.

You also helped him convince (bribe) Senku to join.

Almost all of his songs are dedicated to you

If you can play an instrument, he will 100% ask you to play it in his songs.

He’ll write you cheesy love songs that he will perform on stage if you let him.

He absolutely has to kiss you in some way before performing!

Whether it’s on your hand, cheek, lips, forehead, etc. he must kiss some part of you. It’s his good luck charm

Will sing to you if he spots you in the crowd.

When he does it feels like he’s only performing to you, and the rest of the crowd is just background noise.

He’ll schedule cute lunch dates with you while you’re on tour to local restaurants.

He will absolutely go sightseeing with you in different cities during his downtime!

He will mention you in interview and on social media, but only if you’re comfortable with it.

Chrome typically plays a guitar on stage, which has your lipstick print cheekily placed on it

He will take every opportunity after concerts to snuggle you and decompress, asking if you enjoyed the show (please praise this boy) and humming his songs quietly as you both drift off to sleep.

Gen Asagiri

Gen is the sly and suave member of the group

He only really joined because it was a new way to use his skills as a mentalist

He’s similar to Ryusui in that he knows he’s attractive and uses that to rile up his fans

He likes to have this mysterious air to him, so no one really knows what he’s thinking.

However, this facade crumbles when he’s around you

If he brings you along to band rehearsals or events, he gets very clingy.

He wants to make sure everyone knows that you’re his.

He will tease you with his antics, especially on stage.

He’ll find you in the crowd and smirk as he tries to make you blush.

He will tease you about it afterwards too, just because he knows he can.

He has you preview all of the songs he writes, and he tries to sneak in small details that only you could recognize in them.

If you travel with him on your, he will take you everywhere with him.

If you end up staying home, he’ll send you postcards and love letters describing just how much he misses you.

I like to think that he does a small “magic” segment at shows, and he will make any excuse he can to use you as his assistant.

After shows, he’ll take the time to relax with you.

This can be cuddling, but most of the time he’ll draw a bath in the hotel room for the both of you to enjoy.

He’ll lazily wash your scalp and talk about the highs and lows of the day.

Once your both washed up, he’ll lead you towards the bed, holding you close as you fall asleep.

He will sing you to sleep if you ask him to!

Ukyo Saionji

Ukyo is the “mother hen” of the group.

He is quite a bit older than the rest of the boys, and feels a sense of responsibility for the group

He helps the rest of the band keep their heads on straight during stressful times, and is often the voice of reason.

That being said, he needs someone that will help him relax.

That’s where you come in!

Ukyo will often entrust certain tasks to you, like helping him make sure the band is on schedule, ensuring they’re all in the right costume, etc.

Your presence on tour is basically a requirement, rather than a suggestion.

Ukyo needs you there in order to tolerate the other members antics lol

Since you’re often backstage during shows instead of the crowd, Ukyo will make quick glances towards the backstage area

He’ll do it just to let you know that he’s singing to you.

Ukyo is much more private about your relationship in regards to how much the public knows.

He’s mentioned once or twice that he’s in a relationship in interviews, but that’s pretty much it.

He values your privacy, and wants to keep you to himself.

Ukyo doesn’t write much, but he does mix and produce songs for the band.

He asks you to listen to them, and asks if there should be any changes.

Oftentimes you hear all of the band’s songs before anyone else does.

Ukyo cherishes that process though, it’s one of the few ways he can really share his craft with you.

After concerts, Ukyo is absolutely exhausted, and he looks to you for comfort.

He’ll lay on top of you as you run your fingers through his hair, grumbling about how his ears are still ringing from performing.

This time with you allows his nerves to settle, and allows his mind to prepare to do it all over again in the morning

#ryusui nanami #senku ishigami #dr stone chrome #ukyo saionji #gen asagiri #dcst x reader #senku ishigami x reader #ryusui x reader #chrome x reader #ukyo x reader #gen x reader

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aeligsido · 2 months

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[WM] Prompt 14 — Secret Identity.

Rating: G.

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, one (1) random fifth year Gryffindor, James Potter; mentions of Peter Pettigrew.

Additional Tags: Hogwarts years, they're young teenagers, jealousy, jealous Sirius Black, except he doesn’t realize he’s being jealous, Sirius & James’ friendship.

Summary: Sirius and James got their hands on some Polyjuice.

Words count: 720.

A/N: I love the platonic soulmaty thing and unhinged codependency Sirius and James have. Anyway. Hope you enjoy! ❤️

@wolfstarmicrofic

—

There’s no one who knows Sirius better than James, and there’s no one who knows James better than Sirius — it is how it is, and anyone who has spent two minutes in their presence would learn it, too.

So, obviously, when they got their hands on Polyjuice, they immediately decided to swap places without telling anyone, just to see if anyone would notice.

Truthfully, Sirius thinks Peter is the best bet — their friend is awfully observant, and somehow always manages to come to the right conclusion. Remus would, maybe, but it’s more of a fifty-fifty situation.

He’s using the opportunity to be James right now to quickly check something in the library — he has been banned until the end of the month after an ill-placed bit of mischief, and he needs the information now and not later.

A soft, almost hidden laugh catches his attention; he knows it well, as one of Remus’ main reasons for laughter. This one is a bit surprised — Sirius can picture the scrunch of his nose as the sound comes out of his throat without his consent, and the way he always hides it behind his hand afterward. Curious, he closes the book he was reading and follows the whispered conversation.

He stops before he can be seen; Remus is with one of the boys in the year before them — probably trying to get inside knowledge about OWLS — whose name Sirius doesn't remember. They’re sitting side-by-side, the fifth year crowding Remus’ personal space.

Remus is definitely bothered by it. He doesn’t like other people in his personal space, except for a very small number of people which Sirius is part of and this guy certainly is not. Remus is simply smiling at him because he doesn’t like to bother people and never says anything when he’s uncomfortable. Obviously.

“So, we could grab a Butterbeer together and—”

Sirius loudly drops the book on the table with a huge grin on his (James?) face.

“Remus! Just the man I wanted to see!”

Remus straightens up, immediately turning his attention to him, his smile now shining much more brighter.

“James!”

Ah! Take that, what’s-your-face. Remus likes him better. Or James. And James? Whatever, it's James, of course Remus likes both of them better.

“So, Hogsmeade this weekend! We’ll go together as usual, yeah? I wanted your advice over something I want to buy, you know…” He makes a vague gesture with his hand, and Remus nods along.

Of course, Sirius is not lying — James did mention wanting Remus’ advice over a new purchase he’s thinking about, and they always go together at Hogsmeade as a group. It’s just helping James along, being perfectly in sync with his best friend, and all of that. Also, Remus deserves better than what's-his-face's pathetic attempt.

“Sure, of course, James.” Remus is still smiling, looking up at him almost patiently; beside him, what’s-his-face looks annoyed.

“I was—” he starts.

Sirius claps his hands loudly. “Perfect! I’ll see you later, then, I have some things to take care of — you know how it is.”

Remus laughs, then, way more comfortable and fond than previously. “Of course, go on.”

James, toward the middle of their first year, has taken the habit of hugging them all goodbye. Sirius grew used to his father’s absentminded pats on his shoulders or head, of Regulus’ squeeze of his hands, of his mother arranging his hair and his clothes and his whole self to her liking, but not to hugs; it had been a thing and a half to learn how to hug someone properly. Peter’s pretty good at hugging, too, and Remus is more at ease receiving the hug than giving it — he’s always so awkward when he’s trying to comfort someone — but James’ hugs always make you feel safe and cared for in a way Sirius can’t explain.

So he tries to replicate it, now, just as James would do; he’s glad to feel Remus melting a big against him, and takes it as a victory.

“Alright,” he says then, taking the book back. “I’ll see you later!”

Remus waves him goodbye. As Sirius leaves, he hears what’s-his-face asking about his Butterbeer, and Remus’ vague answer of maybe another time, and feels surprisingly victorious.

His steps are way lighter as he joins James to their rendezvous point.

#my fic #my writing #hp #wolfstar #challenge

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kidlit-queen-competition · 1 year

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Train fact: the longest* train ever

like all things to do with railways, you can get pretty granular and pedantic with this one, so this is likely to also be the longest post ever. Sorry, but actual facts (and pretty pictures) under the cut!

The longest passenger train in regular service is Australia's 'Ghan, a luxury tourist train that runs between Adelaide and Darwin, and averages 774 m/2,539ft in length. that's twice as long as the Empire State building is tall.

(id in alt)

The reason I say "in regular service" is because the longest passenger train EVER was run by the Rhaetian Railway in Switzerland, to celebrate 175 years of Swiss railways, and that was more than twice that long at 1,910m/6266.4ft. Almost an entire Kentucky Derby worth of train! It had to go incredibly slowly, maxing out at 35km/h, to avoid overloading the electric systems of the railway and local power grids.

youtube

[Video desc: a youtube video from CBS news of the recordbreaking passenger train. The train is made up of several red electric trains coupled together, and moves through alpine landscapes of mountainds and coniferous forest. It is so long that it is visible only in coils, like a snake. Some shots show the train leaving one tunnel while entering another, or driving under a viaduct while the tail end crosses it, and several shots show people watching and taking photographs.]

But, the thing with passenger trains is that they have a lot of rules and regulations applied to them that freight doesn't have to follow. So freight trains get HYUGE.

The average American freight train (I consider the USA to be freight trains' natural habitat because there is a whole bunch of wide open space for for them to crawl around) is 5400 feet long, and the standard in Europe is around 3000ft. That's a 10-20 minute walk at average adult walking speed, just to go from end to end. You know when you stop at a level crossing, and a train goes by, and it seems like it's going by forever? That was probably one of these.

But the average frieght train is peanuts to mining trains. Trains came from the mines, and they still dominate there. The biggest trains in the world are consists of ore and coal, run by tiny crews from extraction point to export. This has always been true.

For example, the Datong–Qinhuangdao railway in China runs coal trains daily that are 2.614 km/8576 ft long. That's more than 1.5 miles, or three times as long as the burj khalifa is tall. And that's the standard for that line.

(id in alt)

But that doesn't break any records.

The longest production train, running regularly, is the Sishen–Saldanha railway line's maganese/iron ore train. These trains are four kilometers long. 4,000 meters, almost half the height of the highest peak on earth, in wagons full of metals. Too long to be seen in a single photograph- the one below was stitched together from four separate pictures, taken from the air:

(id in alt)

and that's still not the record!

The record for longest frieght train is held by BHP, an Australian mining company. It was made for the record, but the capacity is still there. This train ran on june 21st 2011, and was 682 wagons long, over seven kilometers. Almost twice the length of the Sishen–Saldanha's, and a quarter the height of Olympus mons. If you stood this train on its end, it would be taller than Mt Denali. If you started at the front of the lead locomotive, and ran as fast as you physically could, you wouldn't reach the last wagon for an hour.

There are entire branch lines shorter than this train.

Unfortunately, there are no good photos, because nobody in space had time for railfanning that day, but there are plenty of pictures of other BHP trains!

(id in alt)

#mod note #bhp #trains #Sishen–Saldanha railway line #Datong–Qinhuangdao railway #the ghan #Rhaetian Railway #irl trains #train facts!

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birdgirl90 · 1 month

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I know I haven’t been very active on here at all in months, but it’s mostly because I’ve been dealing through some pretty hefty trauma. I’m in a place where I feel ready to share some of it, though. Trigger warnings: abuse, trauma, gas lighting, ptsd, child abuse.

Most of it started with unpacking the fact I was in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage for 12 years. I ended up cutting ties with people I thought were my friends because they insisted he was a good man and I should still be friends. Never mind the fact that he manipulated and controlled me, and let’s not get into the sexual aspect.

See, when I got divorced almost a year ago, I was told by my parents that they were disappointed in me for not trying to save my marriage. They then proceeded to let him live with us another month and then personally drove him to his mom’s place in a neighboring state.

The friend who introduced me to him, who I thought was a safe person, told me that she refused to not stop talking to him, and insisted I needed to be friends with him after the divorce, even after I told her a sliver of what went on behind closed doors. I cut her in February.

I discovered I’m autistic. I’ve been learning to navigate that, and how I sort things in my head, after being misdiagnosed as bipolar for 8 years. It’s been a learning experience.

And then the last few weeks happened, when I remembered deeply repressed things from my childhood. How I was neglected, having child services called on us, my mom abusing me, our home always being a disgusting mess. I remembered all the things that my parents did under the guise of love, and how they will never love me how I need.

I spiraled this week, if we’re being honest. My birthday was last month, and my mom didn’t bother reaching out to me except on Instagram when I posted something. I received a box this week, almost a month to the day after my birthday, with a few gifts and a card. And inside it she had included two pictures, one of which she claimed was of me in high school but was, in fact, from when I had my engagement photos taken.

They never knew me.

Today, at the urging of my trauma specialist that I’ve been seeing, I went no contact with my family. It is both a relief and also one of the hardest things I have done. I love my family so much, and there is such a grief at having to do this. It’s necessary - I have to have time and space to heal. But it also sucks.

I have ptsd and childhood ptsd and also sexual ptsd. I deal with an eating disorder. My self worth is a struggle at best. And honestly, I never should have had to go through any of that. Ever. No one should. It’s not okay at all.

But it’s not all bad. I have this job at a state university that I love, where I work with college kids and run an office of work study kids in the financial aid department. I get to work from home twice a week, have really great benefits, and the vacation time is generous, not to mention I’m salaried. My boss is the sweetest woman and knows what I’m going through, and when it catches up to me at work, I am allowed the space to take care of myself, whether that’s to go home or cry at my desk or whatever I need.

My roommate is awesome as fuck. She’s my best friend (who I met on here years ago, actually) who is also going through it from leaving her ex, and we support each other. We go do fun things on the weekends, like to lunch or go on day trips. Next weekend we’re actually taking a few days to go to Hershey Park.

I have my cat David who I adore. He is the sweetest love bug and makes me laugh like no other. He and my roommate’s cat are in love and it’s great.

And I’ve got my gods, who I love and who care for me. My spirituality has never been as strong before, and it’s incredibly fulfilling.

So you know, I’m going to be okay. I believe that. There is a lot of grief and a lot of healing still to happen, but I know I will be okay.

I hope all of you who are still here are well! I miss writing but the truth is, I think that chapter is done for now. I tended to use it to escape, and I can’t do that anymore. It will always be a part though, and the stories are forever going to stay up.

I am always down to chat about anything, though, and I will still be around. Take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you at the next post.

~Birdie

#life update #birdie speaks #tw: abuse #tw: child abuse #tw: ptsd #no contact

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bvtbxtch · 1 year

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About Me

Carly - she/her. 26

Libra Sun Libra Moon Libra Rising

Canadian

Bisexual but am in a loving relationship with my husband! We have been married for just over a year and dating for 10!

I went to university for Drama and Teaching. I was teaching grade 7-9 french and drama but have taken some time off for my physical health. I really love teaching but am hoping I can find a new job in a different school or outside of a traditional classroom!

In my spare time, I love acting and singing. I just performed as the highschool lead Ellie in Freaky Friday the Musical and was going to Nationals for the World Karaoke Competition (I was actually going to make a battle of the bands fic and record reader’s band’s cover myself hehe). I had to back out of the karaoke competition unfortunately because I had a pretty big health scare and almost died.

I live with a lot of chronic illnesses. When I was young I was diagnosed with Celiac disease. In highschool I was diagnosed with psoriasis. I eventually was having issues with my joints in my early 20s (my hands were locking and I was tired all the time). Lo and behold, I got diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis as well. Last year, I struggled even more with my health and my arthritis seemed to be getting worse. I ended up having to go on special medication, which stopped working and I was then diagnosed with fibromyalgia in June. Because of a lot of medical trauma, I have also been diagnosed with GAD and chronic depression. It has been a really hard couple of years and I have been struggling a lot but I am really happy that I have a great medical team behind me.

I started this tumblr in the midst of my lowest point both mentally and physically. I fell in love with ST4 and Eddie Munson (like most of us hehe). I was so inspired by the fanfics that I had written and I wanted to give my own go at it, Hence Angry Heart. Y’all ate it up and here we are and I am so thankful for you!

My favourite foods are poutine, ramen noodles and cookies.

I love playing video games and my favourites right now are Dead By Daylight, Slime Rancher and Overwatch

I also really enjoy reading. My favourite author is Stephen King and I am currently reading It. My favourite books of all time are The Shining and The Duff.

I have a shihtzhu named Boss and he’s the love of my life! See a picture of him below.

I just want to thank you all one more time, I have loved being on this journey of self-discovery and reigniting passions for writing and creating. I am really thankful for all of you!! I have met such amazing friends and supportive people. If you feel like you ever want to talk, my requests or inbox is always open!! Thank you for sharing your space with me.

#sbout me #personal #cery writes #carly's thoughts #stranger things #fanfiction author #face reveal #angry heart #checkmate #masterlist #i love you all #follower milestone #new followers #i love my mutuals

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poochyhyena · 2 months

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MEGA CAT PROJECT: Real vs Counterfeit

So I’m obsessed with Megahouse’s Mega Cat Project line of figures, which means I’ve been buying them second hand in order to get the blind box figures I want.

In doing so I have ended up buying a counterfeit off of Mercari, and since I received the actual figure today (ordered off eBay) I decided to do a comparison of the two figs since I haven’t seen that yet for these figures in particular!

Please enjoy my overly thorough comparison below the cut :)

Right outta the gate, my advice for spotting a counterfeit is, like for any figure to ask for more photos. When I bought the counterfeit figure the photo was low quality and taken with bad lighting which made it hard to see any details. I've seen other ones where they are even inside a plastic bag to add to the 'realism'.

The easiest photo to ask for is the bottom. If you’re finding it tricky to tell if it is real, the bottom is a bit of a giveaway.

As you can see the real figure has a mark that says “MH CHINA”, while the bottom of the counterfeit is just white.

This mark is present on all of the other Mega Cat figures I have. Interestingly the bottom of the Kakashi laying down has additional detailing, and the MH China mark is above the tail.

In addition to not having the stamp the paint quality isn’t as nice either. Counterfeit Luffy has blurry lines, and an overall more messy finish on the edges and sunflower design.

The coloring is also a little different, with the counterfeit being overall less vibrant which doesn't show up super well in the photos but it's really apparent in real life.

Next, the quality of the build of the figure. Which, honestly, isn’t horrible. The main issues are pretty apparent when you look at the side by side, notably the chest area on the counterfeit isn’t inlaid, rather it sits almost level with the shirt - there’s actually space in between the bottom of this piece and the rest of the figure. Additionally, there is extra bits of plastic sticking out from the sides that were never sanded down.

Overall, the structure looks almost blurry with the nose and label folds not being as distinct. However, the detailing on the back of the hat is pretty good!

Another thing to note is that the counterfeit feels almost smoother, and is a little shinier.

Other than asking for more photos, a good thing to always consider is price. While you can definitely find these figures cheaper on Mercari (I tend to spend ~$16 vs $24 on eBay) beware of the figures that are suuuper cheap - I got my counterfeit for $10. I tend to trust the listings that come with a box, but that doesn’t mean that they are counterfeit if they don’t have one. The Kakashi figure in this post didn’t come with a box (and was bought off Mercari) and he is very much an actual Megahouse figure.

If you are looking for figures, I would scope out other sites so you can see which ones are more popular (more expensive) because that tells you which ones to be more careful with! Dressrosa Law from Nyan Piece, for example, is on the pricier side and if you look him up on Mercari you can probably find counterfeits (check the earrings, they look fur tone rather than yellow). Once you spend some time looking at photos of the real thing the counterfeits become more obvious.

If you are super worried, I recommend Suruga-ya, they are a resale store in Japan so there is little risk of counterfeits. Every so often they do free shipping internationally, and their prices tend to be cheaper than eBay. (I got my Zoro figure pictured above from there). But for me, Mercari and eBay have worked fine.

I hope this guide helps, and please enjoy your cat figures!! I have bought way too many - and if you are wondering counterfeit!Luffy is well loved and sits on my desk at work. :)

#megahouse #mega cat project #Nyan Piece #Nyaruto #Mobile Suit Nyandam #Attack on Cat #Sainya Moon #I think that’s all of them lol #anime figure #counterfeit figures #mercari #eBay #One Piece #Naruto

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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SUPER LONG POST ON ELAIN'S BUILD UP AND JOURNEY IN A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES

29:50 - "because this is where I wanted it go it allowed me to plant things for her journey and even Elain's journey early on"

30:48 - "I always try to keep one eye on the horizon when I'm writing just to make sure in the book I'm working on, I can set up for things later on. So there's lot of little secrets in SF that set up for later.” (from SJMs Live Talks LA with Eva Chen)

I think it's impressive how SJM can tell a story inside a story. So many people note Elain's absence in SF, how she barely has any setup for a book. But if you're paying attention, all the hints for her future book including the growth she's already had and that which she still needs to overcome has been spelled out for us:

True hell, because that was Elain lying on the stone floor with the red-haired, one-eyed Fae male hovering over her

The very first page of SF features both Elain and Lucien and Nesta struggling with the memory of it. They are the very first characters mentioned in Nesta's book. It sets up that a large part of Nesta's story is learning to make a life for herself outside of being Elain's protector and learning to let go of Elain so they both have the space to grow as individuals.

Elain, too, had revealed no indication of her seer’s abilities since then.

Powers having gone dormant or unexplored, definitely something to explore in Elain's book.

Even their gods-damned father had a portrait on the wall along one side of the grand staircase: him and Elain, smiling and happy, as they’d been before the world went to shit. Sitting on a stone bench amid bushes bursting with pink and blue hydrangea. The formal gardens of their first home, that lovely manor near the sea.

Not really plot related but were we ever told their old manor house in the human lands was near the sea? I just find it interesting that Elain's portrait led to Nesta remembering how happy Elain had been with her father in the formal gardens of their old home by the sea and that's very similar to what Lucien said in ACOWAR, “Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two.” it's almost like he was able to glimpse a time when Elain was happy prior to being made.

she had only what she’d taken from the Cauldron, rather than letting it deign to gift her with power, as it had with Elain.

I imagine SJM will further explore exactly why Elain was chosen to be gifted with powers.

Where the hell was Elain?

A common refrain in SF. Elain isn't around as much as the other characters but SJM is sure to draw our attention to that fact. She wants you to note her absence.

Elain had walked in halfway through. She’d been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn, and had been solemn as Rhys filled her in. Feyre had been unable to say a word. But Elain’s gaze remained steady as she listened to Rhys.

Two things. One, dawn is pretty early and there are a few mentions of Elain alongside dawn and dusk (setting sun). It may be nothing but when SJM tagged Elain under Blodeuwedd, the picture featured a Barred Owl, which are Crepuscular. A term used to describe animals that are active at dawn and dusk which would be a point in favor of the theory that Elain is an owl shifter. And two, we have our first mention of Elain remaining calm where characters might usually expect her to break down.

Feyre had simply said that the human world would be more than enough of a prison for someone like Nesta. Someone like Feyre, too. And Elain. The human world was behind them. They could never return. Even though all three of them were war heroes, each in their own right, the humans wouldn��t care.

SJM made sure to note that none of the sisters would be welcome in the human lands, regardless of the parts they played in the war.

Elain, who would not eat, or speak, or do anything at all. Elain, who had somehow become the adjusted one.

She had nowhere to go. Elain, mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen, had found a place, a role here. Tending to the gardens of Feyre’s veritable palace on the river, helping other residents of Velaris restore their own destroyed gardens—she had purpose, and joy, and friends: those two half-wraiths who worked in Rhysand’s household. But those things had always come easily to her sister. Had always made Elain special. Had made Nesta fight like hell to keep Elain safe at all costs.

I think the above lines are important because a lot of E/riels hold fast to them as proof of Elain being happy in the Night Court. But just because Elain has made a life for herself, it's what we'd expect from her. Nesta notes that sort of thing had always come easily to Elain so it doesn't matter where she currently is, she'd always make the best of it that she could. But we'll see later that it's not as simple as all that, not to mention that "mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen" is very in life with Azriel still having a few longing glances at Mor. They might be getting over their past but they're not completely there yet meaning they can't truly be in love.

Thesan, Nesta recalled, was a master of healing—Feyre bore his power in her veins. Had offered to use it to heal Elain from her stupor after being turned High Fae.

This line stood out to me because we're told Thesan was willing to try and heal Elain but he never did. Why? If they were so worried about Elain not eating or drinking, why didn't they bring him in? It might be nothing but it does make me wonder if it's an additional hint that Elain has healing powers which I've previously done a theory on and that she was able to heal herself (especially once her Mate came around which is when she began showing major improvements. Lucien's presence seems to have kickstarted the powers she has. Another hint at her having healing powers is the possibility that she was the one who helped heal Cassian after his confrontation with the King. Feyre wonders if Nesta healed him which we know wasn't the case but Elain was the one who rushed to his side immediately after stabbing Hybern.

She’d found a smutty novel she’d already read and loved in one of the trunks Elain had packed.

Not a hint so much as a reminder of how Elain pays attention to her loved ones, remembering to pack one of Nesta's favorite books. A book Nesta would have read during the time she sat by Elain's bedside. Elain may have been withdrawn but she seemed to still observe.

Elain was in the private library. Her sister’s delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring, a sparkling river that she followed to the open doors of the chamber.

A promise of Spring. The first hint of Elain ending up in the Spring Court. Also honey is associated with Spring and while Jasmine is found in the NC, it was also found in the Spring Court and is associated with the Goddess Aphrodite (the Goddess of Love and Beauty).

Elain stood at the wall of windows, clad in a lilac gown whose close-fitting bodice showed how well her sister had filled out since those initial days in the Night Court. Her sister turned toward her, glowing with health.

Reference to Elain being bright, light, etc.

Elain’s smile was as bright as the setting sun beyond the windows.

Another reference to Elain's brightness. She also came to visit Nesta at "dusk" (see above).

Elain had been the ghost then, too thin, with her thoughts turned inward. Elain had only needed time to adjust.

Again, Nesta is still under the impression that Elain is fine, completely healed.

When human, Elain had easily been the prettiest of the three of them, and when she’d been turned High Fae, that beauty had been amplified. Nesta couldn’t put her finger on what changes had been wrought beyond the pointed ears, but Elain had gone from lovely to devastatingly beautiful. Elain never seemed to realize it. It was always that way between them: Elain, sweet and oblivious, and Nesta, the snarling wolf at her side, poised to shred anyone who threatened her. Elain is pleasant to look at, her mother had once mused but she has no ambition. She does not dream beyond her garden and pretty clothes. She will be an asset on the marriage market for us one day, if that beauty holds

This is truly how a lot of the characters view Elain, basically a beautiful but dumb Barbie. With no ambition, no awareness. Her mother proclaimed as much when Elain was only 11 years old. Nesta ended up defying what her mother wanted for her and I imagine Elain will prove her wrong as well.

Elain, surprisingly, held her ground.

More growth for Elain, she's beginning to stand up for herself and doesn't back down when things get difficult.

Elain squared her shoulders again, just as Nesta added, “It’s not like you and Graysen didn’t act on your feelings.” It was a low blow, but Nesta didn’t care. She knew Elain had given her maidenhead to Graysen a month before they’d been turned Fae. Elain had been glowing the next morning. Elain cocked her head. Didn’t dissolve into the crying mess she usually became when Graysen came up.

“I still wanted to come,” Elain went on with that focused calm, the quiet steel building in her voice. “I wanted to see you, to explain.”

Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta.”

More growth and proof that she's begun moving on from Graysen. That she no longer pines for him. It also shows how mature and aware Elain actually is. She's able to reason through the pain of losing her father and place the blame where it's deserved.

Elain stiffened, but refused to balk from whatever she beheld in Nesta’s gaze. “You think I’m to blame for his death?” Challenge filled each word. Challenge—from Elain, of all people.

Even more growth. And this continues throughout SF, everyone expressing surprise over Elain standing up for herself.

“What happened.” When Rhys spoke like that, it was more of a command than a question. Elain waved a hand in dismissal before flinging open the veranda doors and striding into the open air.

Even Nesta struggled to not bow to Rhys's command so there's a chance that if he really used his "dominance" here, Elain easily ignored it which is saying something.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” Nesta shot to her feet. “No. Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. “You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.”

Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

“I do,” Elain said coldly. “And I remember Feyre rescuing me.”

Elain’s eyes brightened with pain. Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

But Elain turned on her heel. “Find me when you wish to begin.” The doors shut behind her.

Not only is Elain volunteering to do something that even Nesta is afraid of but she refused to back down when Nesta argued against it. Seriously, what more does she need to do to prove she's ready for her own book? Nesta started at rock bottom for hers so why are readers expecting Elain to be further along in her journey to be FMC material?

Nesta said to Feyre, “Did you tell Elain?” Before Feyre could reply, Azriel said, “What about Mor?”

Of course, Elain's journey will involve a love interest and E/riels believe it will be Az. But where they claim love, SF proves Az is still hung up on Mor no matter what obsession he's got with Elain.

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

I do not think this hint indicates she's up to anything shady or suspicious. I think it has more to do with the possibility of her being a shifter but whichever theory you prefer, the line obviously creates intrigue.

"Elain showed some teeth.". "I wasn't expecting that." Or what she's said about her lingering trauma. How many times had I focused solely on my terror during Elain's suffering?

More shock over Elain being bold and proof that Elain, no matter how it appears, is still processing her own traumas.

While I might never run to Elain first with problems or for advice, we had a peaceful, amicable understanding. I found her to be a pleasant companion. I wondered if she'd resent that judgment. I certainly would.

Evidence that Elain doesn't really belong with the IC or the NC. Her sisters care for her but she's somewhat of an afterthought in terms of having a close relationship.

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she'd disappoint you all."" With time and safety perhaps we'll see a different side of her emerge ".

"You think Elain is boring?" "I think she's kind, and I'll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven't seen all she has to offer"

Pretty obvious, but again, even more build up that Elain is about to really grow into herself, that she's not as two dimensional as they thought.

"Elain had come into the house, her right palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. I didn't dare mention that if she had been wearing the enchanted gloves Lucien had gotten her last Solstice, nothing would have pierced them at all. "

It's been quite a while since Feyre made that comment about Az and Elain being mates. In that time, her focus has entirely shifted to Elain and Lucien getting to know one another and it's kind of a big deal that Feyre addressed Elain and her Mate in her bonus chapter. Of course there's no romantic buildup for Elucien in SF but where was the romantic buildup for Nessian in ACOFAS? SJM has kept Elain and Lucien apart so when it's time for their book, they can grow together and that time is overdue.

"Let's focus on helping one sister before we start on the other"

It's not a stretch to say that now that Nesta's book is done, Elain is ready for hers.

But Elain had confirmed it for everyone: both sisters still possessed their Cauldron-gifted powers. Whether they were as powerful as before, he had no idea.

We were given the majority of Nesta's powers in her book but Elain's still need to be explored in hers.

And though he understood that Elain had spoken true, claiming the trauma of that memory,

Cassian acknowledging that Elain is entitled to her trauma which others have not always remembered and yet another reminder that Elain is still dealing with everything that happened to her. Just because she's out and about doesn't mean she's completely healed.

Elain would faint to hear such thoughts. And to hear that Nesta had already had two males in her bed not once but twice, and had enjoyed every second of it.

The entire narrative surrounding Elain is her sisters not fully understanding her. There's a good chance that even though Elain isn't an over-sharer when it comes to her sexuality or others, she may be extremely open minded when it comes to experiences with her partner and the above is another one of the examples where Elain will most likely prove her sisters assessment of her as incorrect. My guess is she'll perform in Springs Great Rite which is fairly voyeuristic.

Elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers, but her imagination had stretched no further. Feyre had talked once about the glorious art in the continent’s museums and private estates. But that was all the western edge of it. Beyond that, the continent was vast. And to the south, another continent sprawled. Would she have gone?

Who is possibly located to the South? Koschei. A place where SJM made sure to remind us (through Cassian) that Lucien has been to.

Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie’s garden. Cassian didn’t exactly know why he suspected this wasn’t true. There had been some tightness in Elain’s face as she’d said it.

Remember those other mentions of Elain being up at dawn? Or another possibility is she left the dinner table when Feyre did because Az was at that particular one. In the bonus chapter, we find out she knows he's been avoiding the dinners because of her so she may have not wanted to feel uncomfortable.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

Big red flag for E/riel. After all the growth Elain has shown so far, what do readers honestly think she'd have to say about Azriel’s comment?

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Amren, a 15,000 year old creature, is telling us that Elain IS ready to handle something dangerous.

Elain could make her own choices. And had chosen to thoroughly shut the door on Nesta. Even as she fully embraced Feyre and her world. Nesta’s chest tightened, but she refused to think of it, acknowledge it. Elain was like a dog, loyal to whatever master kept her fed and in comfort.

The above excerpt is important because we know for a fact that Nesta's perception of Elain is skewed by the emotions Nesta is feeling about herself. Anti Elain's like to focus on the "Elain was like a dog, loyal to whoever kept her in comfort" but not only is that wrong (which Cassian acknowledges) but I think the "even as she fully embraced Feyre and her world" is wrong too. Elain is trying to fit into the NC and Feyre's world, she's trying to make the best of her situation, but all the little hints in SF add up to the fact that Elain doesn't really belong there, that she hadn't "fully embraced" anything about the NC so much as she's trying to be fine with it.

What would Elain think, to see Nesta here with a friend? The thought bubbled up from nowhere. As if in opening her mind, it had rushed toward her. Would Elain be pleased, or would she feel the need to warn Gwyn about Nesta’s true self?

Nesta did so, focusing on the breaths and not Elain. I acknowledge this thought about my sister, and I am letting it go.

She was on her seventh breath when her sister appeared again. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you. Had Elain been right? Feyre had admitted she was guilty of it, too, but—Feyre hadn’t known Elain as Nesta did. Or, it hadn’t been that way before. Before Elain had chosen Feyre.

This entire scene is about Nesta struggling with her history with Elain, beginning the process of letting go so she can live a life as something other than Elain's protector. Which is a big deal for both sisters.

And do not forget that Nesta herself—and Elain, with whatever powers she has. All three sisters blessed by fate and gifted with powers to match your own.

Not just her "seer" powers which they know about but "whatever powers she has, meaning she could have something more. And powers to match Rhys? That's a pretty big statement for a simple Seer.

Elain would love this place.

But Elain … The Spring Court had been made for someone like her. Too bad her sister refused to see her. Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit.

We have repeatedly heard how important the Spring Court is because of its location and how a weakened court could lead to some major concerns. We also know Tamlin isn't getting better. So the many mentions of Elain and Spring are pretty heavy (possible) foreshadowing for what's to come.

Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from. Cassian tucked away his puzzlement.

This part makes me curious because why would Elain look away from Az? In the bonus chapter he said they shared looks but her looking away from him is the opposite of that.

“Another young heiress was at the ball, and she positively hated me. She was several years older, and I’d never done anything to provoke her hatred, but I think …” “She was jealous of your beauty,” Amren said, an amused smile on her red lips. Elain blushed. “Perhaps.”It was definitely that. Even though Elain would have been barely thirteen at the time.

Nesta was wrong, Cassian realized, to think Elain as loyal and loving as a dog. Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

Elain nodded, folding her hands in her lap. “So I’m very pleased to hear of this Valkyrie business. I’m happy that Nesta finds interest in something again.

Not so much hinting at anything but it does add to the picture of who Elain is. She's not obsessed with her own looks and Nesta was wrong in thinking Elain was loyal like a dog, the she's actually very observant and sees the heart of who someone is. It also shows that Elain is happy that Nesta has found something that might make her happy.

"so you and Elain are the only options.” “Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said.

Further evidence that the characters in the NC make decisions for Elain without her being around to voice her opposition.

“Not enough,” Nesta said, setting the bear back onto the stone mantel. She was going to vomit. She plucked another figurine from the mantel: a rose carved from a dark sort of wood. She held it in her palm, its solid weight surprising, and traced a finger over one of the petals. “He made this one for Elain.

She pocketed the carved rose

She clenched the wooden rose in her pocket.

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer.

To me, there is so much symbolism going on in the above. Nesta could have taken any of the figures her father made but took the one that represented Elain. Not to mention the figure itself had a "surprising weight" which makes me think of Elain herself. They had thought she was a bit shallow for so long yet she keeps surprising them. Later, she takes the carving and, without knowing why, places it next to a Goddess figure. I also think the phrase "half hidden in the shadows" is important because I think as long as she engages in something with Az, she'll never fully step into who she's meant to be.

Both sisters wore black. Both walked behind Rhys and Feyre, a silent indicator that they were a part of the royal family. Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed. So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her. Nesta in Night Court black threatened to bring him to his knees.

Elain is trying. She's trying to prove that she wants to help, that she can do what Nesta can do, that she can be part of the court like her sisters are. Because that is who Elain is, she tries to grow where she's planted. But it's extremely evident that no matter what she's telling herself and others, she's not thriving. There is something not clicking and that's going to be the point of her story. Breaking free of what she feels she needs to do and discovering where she's meant to be, who she's meant to be.

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health. Except …

It's very obvious when you see this and the last scene back to back. Away from a place that embodies half of what the NC represents, Elain is again glowing. And no, that doesn't mean she can just avoid the Hewn City and still belong to the IC, the IC members have certain traits that do match with what you'd find in the Hewn City. They can be cruel and vicious when they need to be but that's not how Elain has been written. Not to mention, in SF Elain is always wearing a shade of purple and I don't think that's coincidental. Purple is considered a color of royalty (which could end up being for one of a few reasons: there are hints of Elain becoming High Lady of Spring, she is mated to Lucien who is showing the markers of becoming a High Lord or there is evidence to support him being High King and, lavender which is a shade of purple is the color of Silba (Goddess of Healing and Gentle Deaths).

And Nesta wondering if she's been taking lessons in stealth does not mean she's actually taking lessons in stealth. It's an SJM sleight of hand, letting us know this is something to pay attention to but she's not giving us the full story (my money is still on her being an owl shifter as owls fly silently which is know as the stealthy hunting hypothesis).

“Oh, fuck you,” Nesta snapped, and then choked. Elain blinked. Nesta blinked back, horror lurching through her. And then Elain burst out laughing. Howling, half-sobbing laughs that sent her bending over at the waist, gasping for breath. Nesta just stared, torn between questions and wanting to throw herself into the icy Sidra. “I— I’m so sorry—” Elain held up a hand, wiping her eyes with the other. “You’ve never said such a thing to me!” She laughed again. “I think that’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

This is a huge moment between Elain and Nesta. It shows that Elain has never wanted to be coddled and Nesta can move forward with treating Elain like the grown woman she is.

Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

Nesta is aware of Azriel having some kind of feelings for Elain but note how she doesn't indicate her feelings on it. However she does think that Elain is a "wretch" for sitting far away from her Mate. This is huge for the future of Elain's journey because Nesta has had some major issues with Lucien (not for any good reason, just because she felt she should have a say who who was allowed near Elain). And Elain has always seemed very aware of that. With Nesta finally backing down and almost accepting him, it clears the way for Elain to deal with Lucien without her sisters watching her every move.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

E/riels love using this as proof that Elucien won't happen but I disagree. There has been so much in SF that while Elain is growing, she still hasn't found the place where she'll thrive. And as long as she's running from that fact, she'll continue running from a Mate who sees more than she's comfortable with anyone seeing right now. To me, beginning to find her place in the world comes first and getting to know Lucien will follow.

I'm not really getting into the whole Az POV Chapter because it's been done a million times over. Az and Elain want to kiss but I don't feel their interest is healthy or for the right reasons. I think the rose necklace is representative of Elain, that it looks ordinary (the characters think Elain is 2 dimensional) until held to the light (when she finally makes her way to Spring or Day and opens herself up to her Mate who is basically the Sun personified) it's true depth will become visible (Elain will finally show everyone who she is and what she's capable of). Rhys is completely anti E/riel and coming from a best friend, that should tell you something. Not to mention Elain returns Az's gift which shows growth from when she refused to return Graysens after his rejection.

She had a vague sense of Cassian and Mor and Azriel nearby, of Feyre and Rhys and Lucien, of Elain and Varian and Helion.

Elain standing near her mate's (unknown) father is definitely one of those things that make you go hmmmm.

Nesta held love in her own heart as she pulled the small, carved rose from her pocket and set it upon the gravestone. A permanent marker of the beauty and good he’d tried to bring into the world.

She found Feyre and Elain waiting halfway down the hill, Nyx now dozing peacefully in Elain’s arms. Her sisters beamed, beckoning her to join. And Nesta smiled back, her steps light as she hurried down the hill to meet them.

The above is on the last page of the book.

Elain was mentioned on the first page of SF and the last page. Not to mention that rose carving makes an appearance once again.

The rose carving made for Elain, a character who is often linked to roses (a rose bloom in a mud field, a rose necklace, roses on her dresser drawer), was brought back from the Human Lands, placed on Nesta's mantle next to a figure of a Goddess then in the final scene, Nesta parts with the carving claiming it's a marker of the beauty and good her father brought into the world.

I get that fans of Gwyn and Az are hoping or feel they will have the next book. And maybe they will, it's really a 50/50 shot because SJM put a lot in SF for their characters as well.

But the argument that Elain wasn't in SF or she's not ready for her own book drives me a bit crazy.

Elain didn't even need to be on page because every character in the IC found it necessary to bring Elain into their thoughts and conversations. She's shown growth in standing up for herself and asking not to be treated like a child, she's showing that she's ready to take on something that is considered dangerous, and she chose herself over Azriel when returning his gift rather than pining as she did Graysen. We've already got possible plotlines including specific locations and possible powers outside of her being a Seer. We've also got reasons for her to finally want to distance herself from the IC, what with Azriel’s rejection (definitely a reason she might want to move out of Rhys and Feyre's considering they conduct court business there) and everyone deciding what she can or can't do.

The girl is ready for her book and she had a MASSIVE amount of hints and buildup placed throughout Nesta's (her sister's) story. If that's not enough to convince people Elain is ready to be a FMC, then I have no idea how they think she'll have more page time in a Gwynriel book. Because the sisters journeys, while also including their love interest and found family's, are greatly driven by their relationships with one another and how after their growth, they'll come together in a less broken way. Not to mention we don't need another book full of people wondering where Elain is, that she doesn't quite belong in the NC and being surprised that she's standing up for herself. I honestly think SJM got the point across in SF.

We saw a lot of healing between Nesta and Feyre but until Elain has her book, the three sisters cannot fully embrace the new relationships they've formed with one another.

#pro elain archeron #elain archeron #elain acosf #pro elucien #elucien

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spooniechef · 1 year

Text

The Spoonie Garden

I’ve mentioned this in a couple of posts, and now it’s probably time for the full post about it. A little while after I got officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I decided to start trying a little herb garden. It started just in propagator boxes on my windowsill, but soon moved to pots hanging on the balcony rail. I have no idea what possessed me to try gardening right when I’d been diagnosed with a chronic pain condition, but I think it had something to do with wanting something nice, and also wanting something to nurture and care for in the hopes that doing so would motivate me to do the same for myself. Either way, I never looked back, and I’m even trying flowers this year, because having herbs is nice but I wanted something that was just pretty.

Now, a lot of people think they can’t have a window or balcony garden. I was one of them until I decided to try it anyway. One of the things I found was that a lot of the things people worry about aren’t that big a deal. Light levels, for instance. My flat faces northwest, and it doesn’t get a lot of sun; I was always told that this would make it very hard to keep a garden. But honestly, there’s been light enough for most of the herbs I’ve wanted to grow, and even enough for tomatoes. Space isn’t so much of an issue either; most of the herbs I grow are pretty self-contained, and I could move them all indoors if I had to for the winter. Thing is, even that’s not a necessity for most of them; I had a lot of my herbs outside and while they seemed to die over the winter months, the spring brought them right back. It’s really a matter of remembering to water them daily (not even that in the winter months when they’re mostly hibernating), maybe treat them to some plant food once a week, and cutting them back when winter’s coming to dry the herbs for use in the winter months. (Another reason that a dehydrator is such a good investment.) Plus it makes a lot of recipes a bit more budget-friendly, having your own fresh herbs on demand. The problem with recipes that only call for a couple of sprigs of a certain herb is that supermarkets never sell them in “just a couple of sprigs”, so you end up paying above the odds for a bunch of herbs knowing that you’ll throw away half of them.

Here’s my list of must-have herbs for the window or balcony, with pictures:

Parsley

Parsley sees use in a lot of different recipes, and it’s sturdier than you’d think. At the time this was taken, the tallest stalks were waist-high on me. I haven’t used it much, but my mother dropped by for a few stalks the other day, and I’ve been thinking of trying parsley sauce, so it’s good to have.

Sage and Rosemary

These both survived the winter outdoors, even during a cold snap, with no trouble at all. Sage and rosemary are wonderful in stews, to stuff a whole chicken, all sorts of things. Plus, of course, my recent lemon and rosemary steak recipe needs the rosemary, so it came in very handy today.

Oregano and Thyme

These two looked like they died over the winter. I cut back the oregano but didn’t bother with the thyme. I don’t know why I left the pots out there, but when I saw new green growth in and amongst the dead-looking stalks, I just watered them and waited to see what would happen. This is the end result; since that picture was taken, the oregano has only got bigger, and the thyme is almost entirely green and is flowering. I’m a big fan of oregano, especially in pasta sauces, and it’s so much better fresh. Thyme’s also good in stews and in whole roast chicken, and at least one recipe I’ve made recently called for it, so both have been worth it.

Mint, Coriander / Cilantro, and Dill

The mint is another one I cut back over the winter and watched it resurrect come spring. I have plans for mint sauce, and I stick the leaves in the dehydrator and have an endless source of mint tea. I also have plans towards learning how to make my own mint extract. As for the coriander / cilantro ... well, that I did have to replant this year, but it’s come along nicely. One of the dill plants (the one in the grey pot) is also one I planted this spring, but the other is actually a rescue plant - I got one of those pots of live dill from the supermarket for my refrigerator dill pickle recipe, and decided to repot it to see if it would thrive. Looks like it did. Now I’m never short of dill for my refrigerator dill pickles; I don’t have to buy £1 worth of dill to use maybe eight sprigs and throw the rest away, and all it costs me is some time watering them in the morning.

(Not pictured - basil, which I recently repotted and moved outside but isn’t quite impressive enough to take pictures of yet. Another one that’s good for pasta sauces, though I forgot my resolution to grow enough for pesto sauce this year.)

It’s an investment of time and spoons, but it’s got serious benefits. Watching something you planted grow is kind of miraculous, in its way, and I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me at least, it helps my mental state. I have moments of feeling pretty helpless and trapped and useless with the fibromyalgia. I mean, I can’t go to half the places I used to, I walk with a cane, and there are so many doors closed to me because of all of this. But my little balcony garden shows me that I can still do things, even if it’s only watering the plants once a day and remembering to throw in some plant food once a week. There’s tangible proof that I am accomplishing something in spite of how much I hurt.

Also, again, fresh herbs are vastly superior to dried herbs, and picking them fresh off the plant is better still. A non-starter in winter, admittedly, but when most of your herbs will actually benefit from being cut down in winter and the ones that don’t won’t take long to replant, at least being able to dry your own herbs for winter use saves money in the long run.

It’s not something that everyone can do, having a little garden, but more people can do it than think they can. If you don’t have a balcony, a windowsill will do. A lot of plants will be okay with whatever light you can give them. Also, when you’ve watched something go from a tiny shoot to a foot-high explosion of aromatic greenery, it’s pretty easy to remember to water them. Just remember to always use a bigger pot than you think they’re going to need when repotting. Roots need room to breathe, and if there’s not enough soil to absorb water, the water you give it will just drain out and your plant will wilt no matter how much you water it.

Fresh herbs are a joy in the kitchen, and they don’t take as much space, or as many spoons, to maintain as you’d think. Maybe give it a try with just one if you’re a little nervous about it - pick your favourite herb and get some seeds and soil, and try it at home. Therapeutic and tasty.

#The Spoonie Chef #tips and hints

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fluffydavey · 1 year

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“ do you trust me? “ “ yes. “ sums up their entire relationship

reassurance starters || prompts

Jack's always been a light sleeper, even before the first time he had been sent to the refuge. Whenever someone asks him about this, he'll tell them it's a habit he's formed to make sure the others are all safe and counted for. It's better than talking about his time in the refuge.

Due to this, he's gotten pretty used to the sleeping pattern of his friends. Crutchie's a deep sleeper, but an early riser. Finch snores, loudly, which they've all gotten used to by this point. Splasher talks in his sleep, calling out for family members that he never dares mention when awake. Henry's the hardest to wake up, and Race can sleep almost anywhere which never seizes to impress him.

It's the first night that Davey spends in the penthouse that Jack realises that he's not the only one that has issues with sleep. Davey's a bundle of nervous energy in the day, which never seems to dwindle despite how long he's known them.

When Jack had managed to convince him to stay the night, he hadn't thought of the implications of Davey actually staying the night. Davey's currently sitting on his bed, already changed into his bedclothes, thankfully not looking at the shit-eating grin that's on Crutchie's lips.

Jack's careful when they finally call it a night, making sure that Davey has enough space to sleep easily. He's also acutely aware of the danger of getting too close to Davey and falling asleep on him, or waking up with his arms wrapped around him, but he won't admit that to anyone.

But Davey's tossing and turning, and Jack has an internal battle with himself about whether or not he should say anything. He knows Davey too well to realise the other boy will blame himself for Jack not sleeping either. Eventually, he caves, too concerned about Davey's lack of sleep.

"I told you I could sleep on the ground," Jack whispers, although he knows it's no use, Crutchie won't hear a thing.

"If anyone should be sleeping on the floor, it's me. I'm taking up your bed," Davey whispers back, and when Jack turns to look at him, he's looking up ahead of him at the stars in the sky. He wishes he could draw this exact moment, the stars reflecting off of Davey's hazel eyes and porcelain skin.

"Are you not comfortable or something?" he asks, forcing himself to look away.

"Are you kidding me? This is so much easier than sharing a bed with Les," he chuckles to himself, softly. "Normally I get kicked a lot, or the blanket is taken off of me. Oh, and on one night, he managed to push me off the bed and I had to sleep on the floor because I couldn't wake him up to move over again."

"Do you mind sharing a bed with your brother?" he asks, trying to picture the two boys in his head.

"Not really. It's that or sleep on the hard sofa," Davey answers, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I shouldn't be talking, I'm keeping you awake, sorry."

"I started talking to you," he points out, and he doesn't need to turn to watch Davey to know he's probably rolling his eyes at his comment. "So what is it?"

"I don't know," he says, and there's an uncomfortable silence that Jack isn't sure if he's supposed to fill in or not. But then, Davey turns on his side to face Jack, and Jack does the same, and sees a new emotion in Davey's eyes. "I guess I can't shut my brain off at night? I try to, but it's hard."

"I know what you mean," Jack admits, the words falling from his lips before he can stop them. There's a lot left unsaid between the two, but he doesn't think it's the time to delve deeper. "How much sleep do you normally get?

Davey doesn't answer the question for a while, until he realised that Jack won't give up until he gets an answer. "Not much. I'm used to it though, there's too much for me to do in the day to feel tired."

"That's no way to live, Davey. You're gonna crash sooner or later," he says, and Davey just frowns in response. He doesn't like seeing Davey like this, and the need to help his friend out is stronger than pushing away any unwanted feelings wins over. "Do you trust me?"

Davey doesn't even even need time to think, he answers with a quick "yes", which makes Jack's heart flutter.

"Just tell me to stop and we'll forget this ever happened, alright?" he asks, and Davey just watches him with a confused look on his face. There’s a brief moment of awkwardness, where Jack realises he doesn’t actually know what to do next. "I'm not – I don't cuddle people, usually." And then, Jack hesitantly curls around Davey, face tucked up against the nape of Davey's neck and hands spreading across his torso.

He expects Davey to push him away, or stay in an awkward position while his brain tries to catch up with what's happening, but Davey instantly melts into Jack's touch. "I'm sorry you have to do this."

"Shut up," he says lightheartedly, hoping Davey can't feel his heart racing in his chest. "Goodnight Davey."

"Goodnight Jackie," Davey whispers, and he’s definitely smiling, Jack can hear it.

They fall quiet then, slowly becoming comfortable in their positions and Jack finds his limbs growing increasingly heavy as he settles. He feels Davey's chest rising and falling and he feels a special kind of security when he notices their breaths syncing up.

He falls asleep pretty quickly after that.

#jack kelly #davey jacobs #my writing #guess who's insomnia has kicked in again #idek what this is but here we gooo

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rylredrants · 1 year

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Now and Then, Pretty and Home

On the left is a picture from a photo shoot that came up in today's Memories. I was 25-ish: At a glance- look at how thin and pretty I was!

That year was one of my personal worst, including an entire month spent in bed detoxing from an accidental opioid addiction. In the early 2000s, there were no warnings about the prescriptions that came with the enhanced curves on display in that photo shoot.

On the right is the only selfie from this weekend. I'm 44 now: At a glance- I look awful!

That was taken in the middle of a 2-day long project that included refinishing & sealing a deck and installing railings around it. My allergies were (are) killing me, and today I'm sore all over from the physical labor. I don't remember the last time I was this proud of myself and excited for what's on the horizon.

Seeing these side-by-side and knowing the 'me' underneath each image really struck me this morning. As a cis-femme woman, I've spent my entire life bombarded with messages about how important it is to be "pretty." I've pinned so much of my self-worth to the paint and glitter, the numbers on the scale, inside my pants, and all of the things you can take a picture of.

The loudest voice in my head always asked if I was pretty enough, f*¢kable enough, too old, too fat... enough, but not too much. Be soft emotionally but not physically, be sexy but not too sexy. Don’t take up too much space but don’t hide, but don’t put yourself on display but remember, people are always looking at you. And it was all always reflected by a mirror or a man.

I’ve known for years that that voice was wrong, and I AM more than those pictures. I’m smart and super-organized; I’ve got “the patience of a saint” and amazing communication skills. I did more physical labor this weekend than I've done in a decade or more. We got the job done, and the only injury was the sunburn on the top of Pirate’s hands.

We did all that work because the lender wanted it done to approve the loan. Neither our agent nor the sellers’ agent could find a contractor to do it in time for closing on the 16th, so we agreed to do it. The initial bidding war for the property meant we would pay closing costs, but they are paying us an amount that will more than cover things.

Our movers are booked for Memorial Day weekend, Starlink is in a box in the living room, and my moving kit will be fully assembled so we can start packing next weekend. It has been a hard few years between multiple moves, changing jobs, the deaths of a significant childhood friend (Byron) and a pet (Sweet Dane), and well… *gestures broadly* but I’m almost HOME at last.

Home will be 38 acres in Northern AZ, with chunks of quartz all over the property, wild horses at the fence line, and a deck I helped make code-compliant with my two hands and two dudes.

PS: I've hesitated to share anything about the ranch until the ink is on paper. There are still more pieces in motion, but even if the deal falls apart, I'm damn proud of the work we did, and I know what we can have.

Even if somehow this isn't forever home, it will be more home than I've had in a long time. Being a renter and always knowing the lease will expire differs from being an owner.

Having done this before and having to start over has taught me that it's always for the best. Having been married before and preparing to get married again, I know each time has been a lesson and a piece of my story that I wouldn't change even if I could.

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neuxue · 2 years

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okay unfortunately now I must ask. fei du for the blorbo game based on what you know of him so far. if you're really really bored color-code with one color of "based on what I know" and another color for "where I think priest is going with him (trauma)"

oh man okay let's see. The thing I do know for sure about him is that he is extremely blorbo-shaped. Otherwise it's red string on a corkboard but I have some Theories. (or perhaps just fervent hopes).

I'm a little ahead of where my not-really-liveblogging is because I queue the posts to space them out a little but from still pretty early in Macbeth:

(blue is what I have seen so far; grey is where I think we're going)

Okay! I shall endeavour to explain myself:

He has a similar intensity thing going on as Sheng Lingyuan. Namely, if you just take some of his on-paper actions or statements (and some of what's been hinted) he should be much further up the scale but he doesn't always present that way and I have...suspicions.

There's a very fine dotted line around Just Like Me and once again we should just not look too closely at that or at 'symptoms of projection' (it's probably not the trauma and sadly not the wealth) but there are elements of his characterisation and specifically his relationship to self-analysis, self-adjustment, mimicry, and the concepts of morality and taboo and socially constructed frameworks that are thus far presented in a way that I find refreshingly nuanced and sympathetic.

Does Fei Du count as an orphan? Debatable, but I figure it's even odds on his father surviving.

I stared at 'frequently violent' for a while and I think it'll depend on how exactly we define violence and whether pulling the wings off of flies (so to speak) counts if you're not doing it by choice, but also I think he certainly could and would be if that was the necessary and pragmatic option, so.

On the other hand I don't actually think he's killed anyone, and we're getting into extremely tenuously-supported speculation but I think that despite the way he talks about death and killing, despite the way he half-tauntingly almost invites that kind of suspicion in how he talks about his father (or toys with his respirator), and despite the way he doesn't seem to have the kind of deep-rooted revulsion towards it that many do, I think he might in fact go to not-insignificant lengths to avoid actually killing someone. This is entirely based on my tentative thinking that perhaps a part of his fascination with/understanding and study of the kinds of things typically considered 'monstrous' stems from the lack of instinctive revulsion as well as from experiences like what we see in the flashback in ch58 and a certain form of ruthless introspection that leads him to the belief, true or otherwise, that he could be or become that, and a desire not to. (I said this elsewhere but a lot of what he says in book2 in particular makes me wonder if there's an element of... how easy it could be to go from 'I can understand the way a monster thinks' to 'therefore I am monstrous')

Pets stray animals - okay thus far 'pets' is not exactly the verb I'd use for what happens in that flashback, and it's probably generous to apply it to Luo Yiguo, but we'll just see where it goes.

I think he might be slightly more protagonist of life than he lets on, mostly because he dropped all those hints early on about 'hm it seems like maybe someone's fucking with you' to Luo Wenzhou, and there sure are a lot of coincidences, and also moments like his making it very obvious that he's taken advantage of the Zhou family's troubles to short their stock (or, again, toying with his father's respirator when there's CCTV in the room) that read almost like deliberately trying to draw someone's attention. Also the books, which just so happen to relate to the cases that he just so happens to be involved in... yeah, there's a bigger picture here and he's in it somewhere.

awful company/ray of sunshine and hated by all/loved by all: just depends on who's in the room and what he wants from them. He is very good at adjusting his presentation to suit his audience and his desired outcomes, as multiple characters have noticed and Luo Wenzhou has lamented.

Trauma: he clearly has a lot! I think he has more than that.

sadistic/helps others: It's Complicated. There was that little thing where he told his secretary to do some corporate social responsibility around the rescue of Wang Xiujuan and then he casually mentions that some company has set up a fund for people like her? And there are moments of almost surprising gentleness from him (Sheng Lingyuan vibes again honestly), and while I'm not sure if it's for fun exactly he does spend his spare time helping solve crimes and buying the overworked team lunch. I'm not sure he would agree with my assessment. And I could also very easily read him as a sadist but not in a way that's necessarily opposite of 'helps others' if you see what I mean.

In terms of the 'what I want for him': Fei Du what is your deal, what is your damage. Like. It's apparent already just from the way things have been set up (and from other experience of priest's works) that there is going to be some Trauma, and that it is going to be Extensive, but I just. Want it. I want it to be worse than whatever I have imagined and I want it to be surprising in some way and I want it to knock me to the floor. Also I'd like him to have some nice things maybe, as a treat. And I'd like at least once to see him... unleashed, unrestrained, allowed to expose and use the sharpest edges of himself to their full extent and potential.

He also feels like someone for whom The Realisation in some form would be delicious

And consequences are good on almost any character but especially those who pride themselves on (or rely on, or define themselves by) extreme levels of willpower and self-control and by extension their ability to control most situations or complex large-scale games. The kind that works really, really well.... right up until it doesn't. Pair that with a realisation that maybe some of the collateral damage is less acceptable to them than they thought it would be, and you have a recipe for something exquisite. I want that.

And in the time it took to write this I could instead have just read the next couple of chapters but see the ticked box of 'meta-posting on main'.

#he just hits a lot of specific elements that i have enjoyed separately in other characters #and they so far all seem to be coming together into one single character here and i'm about it.#and also every other paragraph of characterisation feels like a live wire being stabbed into my id.#ask memes #asks #anon #默读 #neuxue reads mo du

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