#because it would hurt so much more to see them happy than just see the bad
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Arcane imagine.
arcane characters react to you confessing your feelings to them.
characters included: Mel medarda, Caitlyn, vi, jinx, sevika
warnings: mutual pinning, yearning, fluff, slight angst, happy ending, implied smut, flirting, kissing, yeah .
Mel medarda;
You've been crushing on Mel for the longest time, you don't even know when it started, as you two have known each other for a while now, you both were kinda friends, you were never really sure, but you always felt so close to her
She had felt the same, she liked sticking by your side, hearing about your day, your projects, what you are thinking, anything, she loved listening to you talk
It was the one thing that made her day better, and seeing your face of course
It happened so suddenly, these feelings you'd never expect just came to you, Mel was just there, and you fell in love
Not that anyone could blame you, really, she's a goddess
you always wondered why on earth she'd spend time with you, someone so beautiful, so perfect, that you can't help but always admire, no matter the time and place
When you're anxious, you think of Mel, she makes everything better
When you're alone, you think of Mel
When you're with mel, you think of her
When you spot a pretty flower, you think of Mel
One time, you unintentionally picked a couple of flowers, making them look all pretty as you practically skipped your way to where Mel would be. But she wasn't alone, jayce was there, another boy she was working with
You thought they looked close, and you started to back away from them, your heart sinking, you felt your throat get tight, god, you felt so stupid, of course she would like a man like jayce, why would she ever like you? You were always just going to be her friend
Later that same day, it had turned to night, you spent the rest of the day in bed, ignoring everything and everyone, you were hurt, confused, annoyed with yourself
You just wanted it all to go away
When you heard a knock at your door, and your eyes widened, you looked up, you were about to tell them to go away, whoever it was, that's when you heard a familiar voice
"hey, it's me."
It was Mel's.
You wanted so badly to ignore her, for her to just walk away, but you knew she wasn't going to do that, you closed your eyes and signed, eventually getting up as you walked towards the door and opened it for her
"what do you want? I'm trying to sleep..." You said, hating how you sounded speaking to her. You watched the way Mel frowned, how she looked so worried, her hand reached out and you flinched, she didn't show how much that saddend her.
"you didn't join me for dinner, I was worried. I had came to check on you, oh! I should tell you on what Jayce and I have been up to so far-"
You shook your head, turning away as your back faced her, "I don't wanna hear about him."
That was all Mel needed to hear.
She smiled, stepping closer to you as she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in, you tried to protect but nothing came out and she wasn't letting you go anyways
There was no point
"tell me what's wrong, I know what you're like when you try and push others away, don't do that to me, please" she murmured, her voice soft and calming in your ears as you stared at the ground
you felt your eyes water
"I like you, Mel" you sniffled, you were ready for her to leave, for your friendship to be over. "I've always liked you Mel, more than how friends should like one another, I just I was so scared. But then I saw you with Jayce, and I got jealous, I grew distant, because I couldn't face you, I couldn't look at you in the eyes the same, knowing that he can be better for you than I could ever be."
For a moment, you didn't hear anything, you still heard her breathing from behind you as your heart thumped loudly in your chest.
Then she forced you to turn around and look into her eyes as her hand grabbed your chin, "you mean more to me than anyone could ever be, Why would you think such things?, you're more than my friend, you're my love, my laughter, my everything, this is all I ever wanted to hear from you" Mel said, she smiled so brightly, she looked gorgeous, you wanted to kiss her
You caressed her cheek with her hand, "can... Can I?" You were hesitant to ask, she chuckled, crashing her lips against yours, you melted into the kiss, wanting to stay here forever and ever, she tasted like strawberries and honey, you never wanted to get rid of that taste
Caitlyn;
Caitlyn knew there was something off about you the moment you stopped talking to her as much like you usually would
She found it strange, so unlike you, she looked forward to seeing you whenever she could and hear your voice
But as of lately, she's been alone and missing a certain someone, you
She's been talking to Jayce and wondering what to do and how she can help you if there is anything going on, she'd want to help, she was your friend, your best friend even
So it hurt her when you suddenly stopped hanging out with her
She couldn't stop thinking about you, if she had done anything to cause this, she was freaking herself out
She had even gone to Viktor and ask for his advice, he was sort of helpful, but it wasn't like he was cupid and had the best advice for crushing on your friend
Caitlyn missed you, a lot
She went to your place to find you, surprisingly, you weren't there, she looked at the library, she didn't see you, eventually, she did find you, sitting outside by a tree, you looked so pretty, she couldn't help but admire, she ran up to you, excited, she needed to be around you again
"Cait?..." You said, looking surprised, she wasn't sure why you would be, she didn't say anything and just hugged you tightly
You hugged her back
"where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you, you had me worried" Caitlyn's words came out rushed, you smiled at her.
"can you sit with me?" You asked.
She happily did.
"what's going on? Did something happen?-"
"Cait, let me speak."
You had cut her off before she could even finish asking more, she immediately shut up, she knew you needed to take your time to gather your words, she wanted to touch you again, but she restrained herself
"there's been a lot on my mind, that's why I haven't seen you, but I need to tell you something" you said, she can see the way you were fidgeting with your fingers, a thing you do when you're nervous, then you just randomly stood up, pacing back and forth.
"whatever you have to tell me won't be that bad-" Caitlyn tried to reassure, still you didn't listen
"I like you" you shouted at her, she blinked.
"you what?" She muttered, still processing your words
"I know this was a bad idea to tell you how I really felt, but I had to, I couldn't not tell you, I really fucking like you, Caitlyn" you said, it almost looked like you were on the verge of tears
Caitlyn stood up, you stared up at her expecting the worst, but then she cupped your face and kissed you
That alone told you enough of what she really meant, as you kissed her back, smiling
Vi;
You have always liked Vi for as long as you've known her, that wasn't anything new, anyone who's ever met you knows about your crush on her, except for one person, Vi
She's always claimed not to be an oblivious person, but people who know her also know that's obvious to see from a mile away
Vi has always been a good friend to you, more than anyone has ever been
Ekko, one of your other friends, has been telling you to confess your crush to Vi for years, yeah, it's not something that's new, you two have known each other for ages, Ekko has been through it all witnessing it, and he just wants you to tell her already
"Ekko, I don't know. I don't wanna ruin what I have with her" you muttered, the two of you were hanging out one night, catching up over snacks and games, you hear him chuckle
"you won't, trust me. I wouldn't be telling you to do this if I wasn't sure."
He was right about that. You've always trusted Ekko no matter what it is, he's always had a good heart
and almost most of the time he was always right
Just maybe things will go okay, if you told Vi how you really feel, she won't stop being your friend, but the fact that everyone else can see your crush on her except for her you just weren't sure
Even when you think you know her, you still can't wrap your head around her
You had planned to tell her this Friday night, where you know she'd always meet at your hangout spot, you wanted to make it look pretty, make it feel special, also it was an excuse to distract yourself from what tonight was actually for
Ekko had helped picked out the music, Vi has always liked metal and punk rock, you were sure in another lifetime she would be in a band
you had gotten the snacks, her favorites and yours, including the drinks and the gift you wanted to give her, you've set up a blanket and pillows down for you both
Your heart felt like it was beating so hard it could rip out of your chest any minute
You checked the time and your eyes widened, she was going to be here any second, fuck
You tried to stop pacing around, before you knew it she had arrived right on time, she greeted you with a smile and immediately hugged you, your cheeks warmed as you hugged her back, god you missed her so much
"what's the special occasion?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, biting her cherry as she laid down onto the blankets. "Everything looks so nice, and you got me my favorites? You spoil me."
You smiled, sitting down with her as you contemplated even telling her how you really felt, with how pretty she looks right now, you so badly wanted to kiss her
"I may have something" you said, finally able to get your words together. "Actually yes, I need to tell you something, vi" you hated how you were stuttering, you bit down on your bottom lip as you avoided her gaze.
"what's up, angel?" She said with a grin, she's always called you that, it's been her personal nickname made for you, it's always made you flustered
"Vi, I like... " You paused, trying to actually look into her eyes without looking away, "I like you."
Vi smiled, she looked like she didn't get it at first
"I like you to, angel" she chuckled.
You shake your head.
"no, vi, I actually like like you, I wanna be your girlfriend."
God you couldn't believe you actually told her
you waited for her to reject you, to just stand up and leave, but she didn't do any of that, instead Vi pulled you in closer, pressing her lips to yours as she kissed you hard, you gasped into her mouth, processing whats happening, that she's kissing you, her lips feel so soft against your own, your hand reached up to cup her face
She pulled away, letting you two have a moment to catch your breath as you felt ecstatic, "vi..."
"I've always liked you too, I'm glad you told me. I was actually planning on telling you myself, I didn't know when but you bet me to it, I'm glad you did, because this was the best, it was perfect."
You smiled, leaning in as your nose brushed against hers, she grabbed you by the shirt, making you fall into her as the night was not over just yet
Jinx;
Jinx had always been by your side for as long as you've known her, you have always been by hers, and she's always been by yours, that's just how you two were, when you met, it was an instant click, it was rare for jinx to experience that, so she kept you by for as long as she can
She loves everything about you, your entire personality, how no matter what you always make her day better, you were different, you meant a lot to her
She meant a lot to you as well
More than she'd ever know
Despite all that was happening, what you two have been through, you have always defended her, even when you didn't have to
She appreciates that, even if she doesn't tell you herself
It's like you somehow knew
She needed you, when Vi left, she needed you the most
You were one of the very few that stuck around, and you weren't going anywhere anytime soon
Jinx notices something was up when you weren't showing up to her place like you'd usually be, you were always around, as of late, she didn't see much of you
She wondered why
Did she do something wrong? Are you finally realizing you're better off without her?
No, she couldn't think like that
She was able to easily find you again, you were standing by yourself on an edge, she was concerned, extremely worried, she was so happy to see you again, but she knew she shouldn't rush you
"hey" you said, she didn't even say anything yet you knew she was here
"hi" she smiled, "what are you doing out here? It's cold" she starts to take off her jacket, she always gave you something to wear even if you don't need it right then
You let her put it on
You've always looked so pretty in her clothes
"you know, you'd be a good model, definitely have the body for it" she chuckles with a grin, unable to keep her eyes off you. She saw the way you looked down, how you smiled, she felt proud of that, a little bit cocky too. "You okay? You wanna tell me what's up? You've been avoiding me. You know how I am when people try to ignore me" she couldn't help but pout.
You turn to face her, finally looking at her, she smiles at the sight of you. "I know, I'm sorry about that, a lot has been on my mind. Jinx, there's something I have to tell you, I can't hide it anymore."
She frowned, unsure of what you meant, were you planning on leaving her? Moving away forever? Was she not going to be able to see you ever again? So many thoughts clouded her
But what you told her was nothing she was expecting
"I like you, Jinx, for so long, I've liked you, and no, not in the platonic way, yes, that too, I mean you've meant something more to me for a long time" you said, staring into her gaze as her mouth hangs open, you what?
She rushes to you, wrapping her arms around you tightly as she feels like she could almost cry, good tears this time, her heart was beating so fast she laughed loudly
"why didn't you tell me sooner?" She grinned, cupping your face with both of her hands like you were her entire world, you are, you've always been. "I've liked you since forever, idiot, jeez, finally one of us came clean about it. I was gonna make a dramatic reveal to you but this was so you. I like it. I really like you too. A lot. Please be mine."
And you happily did, you kissed her, that night was the best night of your lives.
Sevika;
Sevika wasn't an easy woman to read, some people have found it hard to even get under her skin, find out what makes her tick, what makes her squirm, loose balance
But you'd be a fool to test her
Then again, you were always known to be a foolish one
When people see you two together, they can't see it, you were brighter, much bubbly, always smiling then there was Sevika, scary, intimating, will kill you with one look
You two were total opposites, no one could understand how you worked so well together
But you just made it work
You were the book smart to Sevika's street smart, which is why silco partnered you with his most trusted a lot, she couldn't exactly argue with it at first, she still did, complaining about having to babysit you, despite the fact that she wasn't that much older than you anyways
Okay, maybe by a few years older, but you didn't need a god damn babysitter
She knew how to piss you off, and you knew how to annoy her as well
It went back and forth, at first, you two fought a lot,there were a lot of misunderstandings, people were even nervous to get in between you both, you two were just so loud about everything that only silco can shut you both up
Eventually, after a while, a long while, things started to settle, and Sevika understood why silco picked you
She knew he wouldn't pick any random person, he had his reasons
Then something weird started to happen, she grew more protective over you, sure, she knew she was already protective of those she cared most, but you, she wasn't sure about, it just happened all of a sudden, if anyone was bothering you, hell, if anyone tried to hurt you, hell would be unleashed
Jinx would always mock her of how much she protects you and will do anything for you, Sevika tries to fight it, her stubbornness winning, but as soon as she sees you, her walls are being cut down, forced to let you see her, as she watches you from afar, admiring your work and talents, how much dedication and time you put into things, she's actually impressed by you
The first time she ever complimented you had you feeling all giddy for weeks, months even, you wanted nothing more than to be praised by her again
Jinx was over it
How much you talked about her, how pretty she is, she'd literally gagged at how love sick you were about her, she was so tempted to shove you both in a closet to hurry the hell up and get it over with
But she knew sevika would kill her
Then again, she's reached a point where she couldn't care less
When Jinx was able to get you two alone together to finally actually talk things out, she did, she was gonna make it work, even if she had to be dramatic and pull a little strings
She would live with the fact that Sevika was gonna be pissed at her for a long time, possibly forever if this goes terribly wrong, but she doubts it would
It was a late Saturday night, everyone was still awake and hanging around, Sevika was sitting at the bar, right where Jinx told her where to meet, Jinx watched as you finally showed up, looking all nice as she grinned, walking away from it, letting it all play out
"Sevika?" You muttered, confused to see her there
But fuck did she look good
She frowned at the sight of you, about to say something, but her words fell flat at what you were wearing, you looked beautiful
Like really fucking gorgeous
"you look... Nice."
Your cheeks warmed at that, hearing her compliment you as you looked away from her gaze that was too intense for you
"yeah, I was told you'd be here... Jinx told me you wanted to speak to me about something important."
Then it clicked to her.
"fuckin' jinx" she groaned, shoving her glass away. "She set us up."
"what?" You said, dumbfounded, going to sit next to her.
There was a pause, you stared in the distance, distracted, she stared at you more, admiring your features, how pretty you looked in that dress
She's never seen you wear something so formal
It suited you
She bit down on her bottom lip, all of a sudden feeling nervous to speak
"how do you feel about us?" You asked, still not looking at her, she frowned
"us?" She repeated.
You nodded, turning your head to look at her in the eyes
"yeah, me and you. We're a good team, you make a good partner" you say. She felt her heart skip a beat, what the fuck was happening? Why were you being so nice to her?
"what is it" she muttered, "just tell me what you want."
"huh?" You looked confused.
"fuckin' hell" she groaned, running a hand through her hair. "Tell me."
"I like you" you spat out before you could even think.
She raised an eyebrow at you.
"say that again?."
"sevika" you sighed, she liked the way her name sounded coming from your lips, she wanted to hear it again. "This is already awkward as fuck, I like you, okay, fuck, I never hated you, well, maybe at some point I disliked you, at the start, but even then, you're a goddess, fucking look at you, your stunning, anyone would fall for that."
That took her off guard, definitely not what she was expecting
"if you want to cuss me out and stop being partners I'll accept I-"
She shut you up with her lips, pressing herself into you as you almost fell off your stool. She grabbed onto you as you held on tight, kissing her hard, as you moaned into her mouth.
After a while, she didn't want to stop kissing you, neither did you want to stop, you both broke away breathless, pressing your foreheads against each others
"come to mine?" She says with a smile
It's not often you see Sevika smile
"lead the way."
#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane x female reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane imagine#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn kiramman x reader#vi x reader#vi x you#vi x y/n#jinx x reader#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika x y/n
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Could you do how Jinx would react If you would give her a Love confession similiar to the one lexie gave mark in greys anatomy headcanons?
of course! thank you for being my first request! i’d like to preface this by saying i’ve seen 0% of greys anatomy. i did watch a clip and do some reading but there may still be some inaccuracies, i apologize </3 i did also take a few creative liberties for the sake of drama
i started writing this before act 3 dropped (no spoilers, dw) and now i'm finishing it to cope. LMAO
summary: headcanons for jinx receiving a confession similar to the one mark received in greys anatomy.
characters included: jinx
tags/warnings: fluff, slight hurt/comfort, (happy) crying. lots of fluff
men dni.
✧.* you and jinx were both working under silco before he passed. the news of his passing hit you like a pile of bricks. you had grown relatively close to him- well, as close as one of his employees could grow to him. but you cared for him.
✧.* however, the position paid well, even after silco's passing. so you decided to stay.
✧.* you had also, for lack of a better term, completely fallen for your coworker, jinx.
✧.* unfortunately for you, you had come to this realization while you were in a relationship with somebody else.
✧.* it came as such a shock to you, because you were happy, your girlfriend adored you. you adored your girlfriend. but the more you fell for jinx, the less you could stand to be with your girlfriend and hurt her.
✧.* so, you broke up with her. you told her that she was incredible, that she was a lovely person and you were sorry you couldn’t do more for her. but you were in love with somebody else.
✧.* and that leaves you here. with your colleague who has captured your heart, who you've just finished a successful mission with and wants to celebrate with you. and the fact that she has no idea of your feelings eats at you.
✧.* jinx beaming at you, the rare smile on her face as she makes her way towards you, jumping in excitement.
✧.* the two of you had just made it back to jinx's hideout, surrounded by her colorful wall tags and assorted gadgets.
✧.* "oh, did you see the look on their faces?! that was incredible, (y/n)! it was so-"
✧.* you just couldn't hold back. tears were welling in your eyes, your hands were trembling, and you couldn't bring yourself to meet jinx's gaze.
✧.* jinx stepped forward, her concern written across her face. "you okay?"
✧.* "i love you." you blurted out, now lifting your head to look jinx directly in the eye. you were delirious, you were confused, you were relieved. relieved to finally tell her.
✧.* "oh my god, that was so sudden, it just came out- i love you. i love you, jinx." you continued, your voice shaking. now that you had started, you couldn't stop. just how long had these feelings festered, deep inside of you? how much longer could you hold onto them?
✧.* jinx's expression was unreadable. her mouth agape, her pink eyes were blown wide. her shoulders were strangely tense, but you could tell that her full attention was on you.
✧.* "i love you. i love you, and i've been trying not to say it.. but i can't. it's so hard. it's so hard to repress it, to ignore it, to act like everything is fine but the truth is that i love you more than anything."
✧.* tears started falling from your eyes, yet you went on as if nothing was happening. "my ex was a great girl, she's incredible, she's gorgeous, and she isn't a master criminal- and she loved me. but it was never gonna work out."
✧.* jinx stepped closer to you, slowly, achingly slowly.
✧.* "i- i love you. i'm so in love with you.." tears kept falling, falling, falling. but the words kept coming. "it's like i'm infected by jinx." you chuckled dryly, using your arm to wipe underneath your eyes.
✧.* "i can't think of anything, or anybody, i can't sleep.. i can't breathe. i love you, jinx. all the time. now and forever." you concluded, your breath coming in heavy pants after your tirade. you mustered up the best smile you could for the woman across from you, taking agonizingly slow steps toward you.
✧.* when jinx finally was in close enough proximity, her face mere inches from yours, both of her hands gently cupped your cheeks. the pads of her thumbs swiping underneath your wet eyes. the corners of her lips turned upward ever so slightly.
✧.* "you... love me?" she whispered, voice low.
✧.* and at this, you genuinely were in disbelief. you laughed, heartily, only for a minute. jinx's eyes went wide yet again, and you could tell she was beginning to panic. what if she had misheard you? was this a dream? was she-
✧.* "i think i've made that pretty clear, jinx. yes. i love you."
✧.* the worry washed away from her, and her arms wrapped around your waist. holding you ever so gently, as if you were made of porcelain. as if she was afraid she would break you if she held on too tight. you've never seen her be so delicate with somebody.
✧.* she pressed a chaste, lingering kiss to your cheek.
✧.* "that's good." jinx replied, turning her head to the side to rest it on your shoulder. "because i think i love you too."
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this isn’t meant to be judgement on what other people choose or their opinions and there are reasons why there is no actual ideal solution, but if I’m playing the game in which I want every character to get what I feel is the best outcome for them personally, Shadowheart is always ending the game with her parents alive
There are a couple of reasons for this. I’ve done both endings with the Selûnite path for her, and I literally just let her pick what she wanted the first time (which ended in her parents dead) and seeing both, I do think she’s happier with her parents alive in general. I think, as with other characters (specifically Lae’zel comes to mind in her romance) you have to kinda challenge them on what their first immediate response is when giving them an option in order to get to what actually makes them happiest and what they’re afraid to admit
But if we’re not even taking like the arbitrary measure of happiness into account, I do think that thematically, keeping her parents alive is the only real option if you don’t want Shar to win.
The options here are either let her parents die and Shadowheart is free of the pain in her wound, or save her parents and Shadowheart spends the rest of her life with the threat of the wound hurting her at any moment. Basically no parents and no pain or parent and chronic pain for the rest of her life.
Harsh options either way, and especially when you phrase it as “chronic pain forever” being the thematically correct path, but look at it from the angle of rejecting Shar and what those options really signify form a Sharran angle.
If her parents die, she has no pain, which is good, but she also has no parents. She has no way of learning about her past other than random scraps she might find or maybe eventually remember somehow. She also has no attachment to her Sharran cloister anymore and no attachment to any Selûnite community either. She’s void of everything, including the physical pain. Now there’s obviously like emotional turmoil she’s feeling, and you do get a scene where she expresses that, but it’s from her loss. She only has loss now. The Lady of Loss gave up her physical hold on Shadowheart and in doing so, made Shadowheart embrace loss. Shar might not win completely, but she doesn’t really care about her individual followers and communities as much as they want her to. This is still a win for Shar because she still got Shadowheart to make Sharran choices in the end and embrace losing everything: the pain, her parents, her community, her past.
Hell, the desire to free oneself from pain entirely is a very Sharran pursuit. It’s why we see people turn to Shar. Ketheric turned to Shar as a way to get Isobel back and free himself from grief. One of the people that can lead you to the Sharran cloister is a man who remembers nothing about himself except that the House of Grief helped him because he was very sad and now he isn’t. Nevermind the fact that he doesn’t even know where he lives now or that Ketheric didn’t get what he wanted, it’s the motivation of freeing oneself from some kind of pain that drives people to Shar.
That is why Shadowheart received the injury in the first place.
I jokingly call it a shock collar sometimes, but that is basically what it literally is. You can get Shadowheart’s dad to reveal more about it if you control her and go talk to him in camp. The wound is because Shadowheart was constantly misbehaving and her parents weren’t converting, and they needed something to keep her in line and also motivate her parents. Shadowheart’s pain was supposed be negative reinforcement for her not to act on her kinder inclinations and for her parents to finally fall in line and reject Selûne so that they would stop seeing Shadowheart in pain. The desire for no more pain was supposed to drive Shadowheart and her family closer to Shar.
And all of this on top of the fact that Shadowheart’s memory was wiped repeatedly to an extreme degree, even by standards of the evil memory wiping cult. She was supposed to be a blank slate that only desired to feel nothing by the end. The perfect Sharran.
So if she keeps her family alive, what does she get? A life time of guaranteed pain from Shar, but also her family. Guilt over learning all she’s done to her parents over the 40 years they were held captive, but also answers about her life before Shar and kinder memories with them after Shar. She doesn’t get to not know all that she’s done and all that’s been taken from her, and she’s forced to feel all the negative emotions that come with that, but she gets comfort and positive feelings too.
The moment I keep going back to is the scene you get after she saves her parents where she’s clearly distressed. You get a similar version of this if her parents are dead, but if her parents are alive, they show up at the end of the scene when she’s crying because of the guilt she’s feeling toward all that happened to them. The specific moment in that which I obsess over a bit is when Shadowheart apologizes to them and says that they shouldn’t have to see her like this (because they just walked in on her crying). And it’s her mom’s response to that which makes me a little insane
It’s the emphasis on feeling that really gets me, and I think is the most important part here.
Because Shadowheart was apologizing specifically for them seeing her feeling. She was in this moment apologizing for them having to see her crying and in a very vulnerable emotional state over her own personal struggles and the immense amount of guilt she feels over seeing the extent of what was done to her parents, some of which she did. She’s not supposed to feel anything about that, as a Sharran. She’s not supposed to feel at all as a Sharran, good or bad.
But it’s her very visibly feeling something that her mom points out wanting to see. it’s the one word she puts emphasis on, because that alone is proof that Shar doesn’t have a hold on her. If she’s feeling something, even if it’s bad, then Shar isn’t winning and isn’t controlling her. Shar literally had to resort to trying to coax her into wanting nothing more than to be free of feeling in order to get her to behave, after all.
If Shadowheart accepts that she’ll have pain for the rest of her life in order to save her family, Shar doesn’t get anything but the shock collar she already had. And the point of the shock collar was to eventually never use it. Hurting Shadowheart wasn’t what Shar wanted. Shar wanted to eventually stop hurting Shadowheart because that meant she was a good perfect little Selûnite-turned-Sharran who had been properly corrupted. Pain wasn’t the point and was supposed to have an ending if Shar got what she wanted.
So when Shadowheart rejects the loss of the pain, that’s about as close as she can get to telling Shar to go fuck herself. Her plans didn’t work, not even a little. Shadowheart isn’t wiping her slate clean (again) and rejecting feeling things just because they’re painful. She’s reconnecting with the past that they spent 40 years trying to erase and she’s doing it even though it’ll be hurt.
Basically by keeping her parents alive, she’s doing every single thing Shar has spent four decades trying to stop her from doing and giving Shar absolutely nothing in return. Shar gets nothing besides the ability to hurt Shadowheart, which isn’t even something she wanted in the first place.
And proof of this is shown in the epilogue, where if you romance Shadowheart and kept her parents alive, you both point out what Shar hasn’t been triggering the wound much lately. She triggers it a lot and randomly in the end of the game, and it’s clear she’s pissed off, but by the time six months have passed, it’s apparently barely happening. Because pain wasn’t the point and it wasn’t what Shar wanted. The pain was Shar throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get what she wanted. Shadowheart calls it petty in the game and that’s literally what it is. Just pettiness from a god. And it’ll probably happen to some extent for the rest of Shadowheart’s life, yes, but it’s clear that Shar is bored and realizes it’s not going to work. She might try some other ways to get at Shadowheart eventually, but in making that choice, Shadowheart denied her any ounce of power that Shar actually cares about. Even if the pain is there, the fact that it’s there is proof that Shar failed.
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Okay so, ima type in what I typed to my friend here.
"Yeah Ima be so dead ass. ||Mel and Ekko carried the final for me, ESPECIALLY Ekko."
Yeah, they should have just kept [Viktor] being Ryze. That made more sense to me than whatever this is. And I am all for mlm rep, but yeah, this felt WAY too, Jayvikky. I liked it better that they were brothers to parallel Vander and Silco, who also found each other and became bros, but it seemed like they went with how popular JayVik was and stuck with it. And Jayce being strung with Viktor for wherever they went felt...kinda nonsensical. I'd rather that Viktor was thwarted and too far gone to then just suddenly have a change of heart and go with Jayce. I imagined that he would have a contingency where he, incase his body was destroyed, would then later rise again to try and enact "Glorious Evolution". It would go well with the themes of his beliefs anyway because every time he dies, he comes back stronger in a new body. I feel like that would better set the ongoing conflict and fit well with the game and why he looks the way he does currently.
I also don't like how quick he and Mel's reunion was considering how much he favored her along with his odd and sudden dislike for her decisions-- Seriously, where did that even come from!?"
[Thought it over further. Him calling her out on her actions isn't the issue. It's the timing and how this transpires that confuses me. He just came from a post-apocalyptic world where Mel, Viktor, and everything else came to mind. The lack of time for them to truly talk made the scene felt out of nowhere and not at all fleshed out. He goes on to place part of the blame on her when literally it wasn't. She DID manipulate but only politically. Everything else was on he and Viktor. Then, when he DOES confront Viktor, the vibes are different. Viktor hurt and caused a chain of events that led to several lives being taken to ensure survival and his "Glorious Evolution", why is this essentially overlooked? Maybe when I review this again, it will make more sense, but as of now, the way Jayce treats both Mel and Viktor is VERY questionable.]
"I would have been pretty happy if He at least gave her a hug, a kiss, something to make their relationship seem consistent with what we were shown. I know that he's been gone for a while and a lot more cold, but this was a very odd direction to go with. I am super happy about Cait and Mel fighting side by side and that Mel may be the main character for a new Noxus related show! [Which I knew they'd set up!] but this series, after seeing it in its entirety, DID suffer too much from the pacing issues. I assumed at the First Act that it was quick paced to go with how they've all been shifted into places they didn't see coming, but the pacing issues continued to bring down the quality. 3 seasons would have made way more sense and would go well with the 3 ACT formula they had used. I hope they learn from this and refrain from making similar mistakes.
[I responded to my friend who posted these images above] I knew they'd make a callback to this line eventually, and I am genuinely surprised people are not catching this obvious set up to Jinx living. Also, I am betting that Heimer did "die" but only that alternate version of himself. [Though obviously I could be wrong, though a life of various lifetimes where he helps each version of the main cast sounds very Heimerdinger of him, especially since he didn't wanna leave.]
The biggest letdown for me has to be Jayce and Viktor's story. It just...doesn't make sense with what we have been shown. Also, if Viktor KNOWS bad shit would happen when bringing Hextech to life and all, why TF would he give it to Jayce then???? Or if he STILL wanted magic to be tampered with shy doesn't he comvince himself in a way HE KNOWS would prevent what happens next, surely NOT EVERY timeline has it where you continue on the path of destruction! You see what I mean!?!? Leave the time crap to Ekko, man. This new inclusion makes no sense! And he does this in VARIOUS timeliness for some reason. Man, I wish it was just a random ass mage or Ryze, this added stuff kinda kills the finale for me🫠
I feel that making Viktor time travel ruins a huge aspect of the story, ngl, especially when Jayce argues that people can "craft their own path." The story also shouldn't have ended with what I could only assume both of them "dying" or traversing time instead. Also, the way Sky was treated and essentially replaced with Jayce feels....very very weeeeird."
[I believe that the ending just didn't land that well. I feel, now thinking over every character, Ekko, Mel, and Jinx carried this season HEAVY. These 3 were the most interesting parts of the season, honorable mention being Singed cause he be doing what he MUST. Also, what was the point of introducing Loris if all he was gonna end up being was a random guy who reminded Vi of Vander? I guess nothing is wrong with this, but when you're already stringing for time, these inclusions make no sense... I liked him, though, RIP Loris🤧. Oh, and Caut barely facing consequences is KINDA CRAZY but it goes with the themes of forgiveness/ acceptance. The Cycle would never end, after all, but yeah Vi and Cait made up WAY too fast and just shows that this needed another season. Let me know your thoughts!]
#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#Arcane#arcane vi#viktor arcane#arcane mel#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#arcane spoilers#jayvik arcane#arcane jinx#arcane lol#arcane league of legends#arcane discussion#arcane discourse#arcane viktor#arcane vander#arcane loris#arcane caitlyn#meljay#mel merdada#mel medarda#jayce talis
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Very Personal Take on Good Omens
I've always related more to Crowley. It has always been easier for me to understand them than Aziraphale, especially in s1. Don't get me wrong, I've adored Aziraphale since day one too, I just think that, personality wise, we have less traits in common.
However, since the end of s2, I've been able to really feel for Aziraphale and immediately found myself defending them and their final decision. I won't lie and tell you that, at the beginning, I didn't feel angry and even a little betrayed at all, but once I cooled down and thought about it with a clear mind I got it. And, later, I also got the reason why I was feeling so defensive about Aziraphale.
Last year I broke up with my partner, with whom I also had a lot of mutual friends. I was the one to call it off and I did it because there were some dynamics I couldn't tolerate anymore, but I still loved them and I suffered a lot (still do sometimes). Still, I knew it was the right thing to do for the both of us and I never regretted it.
The thing is, the friends we had in common never really bothered to check up on me: I was the one to call it off and I was the one who'd always appeared emotionally stronger, so why would I be suffering? However, they comforted my ex multiple times, sometimes right after I'd gone home, because they just burst into tears in front of everyone. Obviously, I was very sad and cried a lot too, I just avoided doing it in front of our mutual friends to avoid creating sides (when we broke up we promised this to each other).
Connecting all of this to Good Omens, I believe that something like that is happening in the fandom too. A lot of people are hyper focusing on Crowley's pain because it's more obvious and understandable to them, while they're painting Aziraphale as the "bad one" who broke their heart and doesn't care about them just because they were the one who made the difficult decision. And, while I understand it's easier to see it that way, I also think it's not actually that hard to dig a little deeper.
Just because someone's pain is more evident doesn't mean they were the only one to get hurt and didn't hurt back too. Crowley hurt Aziraphale too, even if we might not see it immediately or as clearly as the other way around. They're both suffering, there is no right and wrong side, they both made mistakes and, nonetheless, it's no doubt they love each other and deserve a happy ending.
I hope this makes sense. It's a very emotionally charged analysis so, even if you don't agree, be polite about it please. I know I didn't get too much into what happened in the final 15, but I've already made (and I'll make) other specific posts about it. This one was more of an emotional take.
I'd also like to underline that none of this is a contest about who's hurting more. It's an invitation not to take for granted other people's feelings but actually try and understand both sides of a situation, even if we naturally relate to or understand one more than the other. (Of course, this doesn't apply to toxic relationships).
#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#final 15#the final fifteen#good omens season 2#good omens thoughts#break up
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Feels (Wistful) like Summer Rain
A.N: Soo... it took me longer than I thought to finish this one. I'm really sorry about this. I'm not entirely satisfied, especially with the ending. I don't know. Let me know what you think. In any case I hope you like it
T.W: emotional abuse ( kinda ?), social anxiety ( done bad but still)
Max's pov: Feels (Warm) like Sunlight
Kelly's pov: Feels (Harsh) like Winter Wind
Misunderstanding Max was not difficult, in fact he made it quite easy. And you had always read too much between the lines
That was why you hadn't insisted when Max had wanted to change the subject when you'd alluded to Kelly.
Part of you wanted to insist, to know if it was worth it after all, to take a step back. But another part didn't want to hurt Max any more than the rest of the world already had.
He hardly ever gave it away, but he didn't like being labelled the villain of the story. The villain of every story.
Who would?
Yet with the character he had on the track, with his racing manner, he was perfect for the role.
You remembered perfectly his eyes asking you to confirm what the tabloids reported, whether it was true that he was unfair and violent.
You remembered well how easy it was to see his poker face collapse at the slightest hint, and how no one seemed to notice.
Or maybe they pretended not to notice.
Because people like to see what they want to see, what suits them, and it didn't matter if they ruined other people's lives with their way of doing things.
Because people had seen Max's raw talent and had decided that that sixteen-year-old boy was the ideal villain in a world of competitiveness where only the best can triumph.
That's exactly why you meant every word you said, that you were truly sorry, because you had seen how happy Kelly had made him, and you really hoped the two of them had parted better than the gossip pages let on, and it hurt that you couldn't be more of a comfort to him at that moment.
But you didn't belong there.
Not any more. For a long time.
Max had caught your eye long before you realised it.
Your situation at the time wasn't the best, but that didn't mean you were easily distracted, quite the contrary.
It had been rather strange how between acting as if nothing was changing at school, and dealing with foster care at home, it had been Max who had caught your attention.
Max didn't attend classes much, and no one really knew why, plus his home situation wasn't much happier than yours.
Only yours had been handled much better. His were rumours that were somehow confirmed.
Maybe he had attracted you because you thought you were similar, even though you knew how different you really were.
Those few times you saw Max at school, he never tried to hang out with the others; no matter how much his gaze lingered on the groups of kids at recess, he never got up to go to them, and they always kept their distance from him, but Max never seemed to mind so much.
You, on the other hand, always had anxiety about being alone, you didn't want to stay with your thoughts. But you also got anxious when you were with your friends, because you were never really honest with them, because you didn't want to argue with anyone, because you never took sides for fear they would get angry with you and leave you alone.
Somehow neither of you were really comfortable with the others.
You found out why Max was so absent because you asked the Vermeulen, your foster parents.
It had taken you a while to open up to them, not because they were mean or you didn't like them, they were just different from what you were used to, and you didn't want to be a burden of any kind to them, who had welcomed you with open arms first into their home and then into their family
It had not been easy for them either, the therapist who had dealt with you had said that your adapting so much to what others wanted was the result of a trauma that you had not yet realised you had suffered.
And how could you, what the psychologist called ‘trauma’ had been normal for you until child welfare workers had turned up on your doorstep asking you to pack your bags.
In fact, you had difficulty understanding why they had taken you away from your parents: they were not violent, had never beaten you and they had never made you lack anything. Of course they often shouted at each other, about things you didn't understand, but wasn't that something all couples did? They demanded that you behave well in every situation, that you never talk back, and that you do well at school, but there was nothing strange in expecting you to be a polite child. They weren't affectionate parents, but that didn't make them monsters, most people don't like physical contact and your parents were that kind of person.
The Vermeulens had given you an mp3 so you could listen to the music you wanted when you were studying without feeling guilty about the volume. When you travelled by car Vincent, Mr Vermeulen, always took the longer and more scenic drives because you liked to watch the scenery change, and you could listen to a few more songs because that mp3 had become your best friend. They had taken you to see The Nutcracker at the theatre because it was your favourite CD in Mrs Vermeulen's vast collection, Julie, you had listened to it so much that she had bought a copy just for you.
For Christmas they had taken you to a Christmas fair because you had never been to one, with Julie putting your scarf over your nose every three times so you wouldn't look too much like Rudolph and Vincent holding you on his shoulders when your feet started to hurt.
The best thing, though, was seeing the two of them at the candy stand arguing over which was better between liquorice and gummy bears, only to see you choose milk candy. From then on there were always packets of those sweets around the house
It was this blatant distinction between your parents‘ and the Vermeulens’ way of doing things that made it difficult for you to open up to them: You loved your parents, but Julie and Vincent made you feel not only valued but also part of something, and that made you feel ungrateful and unappreciative.
That was a thought you didn't feel ready to share yet though, so you diverted to the other thought that wandered through your head with no intention of paying rent
"He participates in a lot of races, that kid is a karting prodigy."
Max wasn't family, but Vincent couldn't deny that he had a keen eye for the little devil that haunted his go kart track, perhaps because you could see from afar that little Verstappen had talent to spare, or perhaps because a bit like you, he looked to him like a child older than his age.
Maybe that was why he didn't object when Julie, after a doubtful look from you, suggested you spend some time at the go-kart track and see for yourself how good your classmate was
The go-kart track was your second - third ? - home. You liked how every time you went there you felt relieved of a burden, you felt free of the tension of having to be attentive to everything around you, that was probably why you had never noticed Max before.
But once you did, it was hard not to notice him: he was one with the kart, he looked like he was made for racing on the track.
It was also hard not to notice his father: Jos Verstappen was someone who made you feel strange, somehow Jos reminded you of your parents even if you didn't quite understand how that was possible.
Your parents would never have left you somewhere because you had not achieved the desired results in a competition. Jos always seemed to be dissatisfied with what Max did, and Max seemed sad, even though it was obvious that he loved racing on the track
You had approached him after Jos had left him stranded for the umpteenth time. You knew he'd come to pick him up. If he hadn't, his mother would have done it. But that time he seemed the most broken you had ever seen him.
You weren't sure what it was, but since that day something had clicked between you: it was the reading between the lines, the catching of a different look from the usual, the slight change in tone, the getting to know each other so intimately that made your relationship with Max so immensely different from any other.
It was something that grew with you over time, something uniquely yours but that everyone around you perceived, even without really understanding it.
That was why you thought you had a special place in his life: apart from his family, you were the person he spent most time with on and off the track.
You always knew what was going on in his head without him uttering a word, not that Max was one who didn't speak.
Max could talk a lot when he wanted to, and when he talked about something he liked - racing, engines, winning - he had a light in his eyes that made it impossible not to be spellbound listening to him.
To say that Max wasn't popular would be a lie, you remembered with deep affection his confused look when he found a stack of Valentine's Day dedications on the counter, his gaze seeking confirmation in yours, as if to ask if what was happening was normal, and his not knowing quite how to act about it.
It was something Victoria often teased him about, not knowing how to read those social interactions
"Probably all the space in his head is taken up with strategies for competitions."
You really thought you had a chance, you saw it: you saw how Max sought your gaze before others, how he somehow searched for your approval, your support. How he was looking for you.
At least until Kelly had arrived and reality had hit you like a bucket of ice water as the ground beneath your feet crumbled.
You wanted so badly for him to love you back that you had seen things that had never been there, because obviously Max had never had a thing for you.
Because otherwise you wouldn't have seen that look in his eyes, as if Kelly had attached the moon to the sky.
You wouldn't have seen that smile so joyful when he talked to her, when you had waited years to see him smile like that.
You wouldn't have felt like you were in the way.
It sucked to feel that way. Rejected. It hurt so much that even the thought of feeling that way again led you to avoid seeing his races, limiting yourself to messages of good luck or congratulations, but even those were short-lived
"I think I've lived Max's life enough" was what you told the Vermeulen after days of silence "Racing is his passion. Not mine. I think it's time to try something new" you had finished with a small smile, resigned, but at least not forced.
But that didn't mean they didn't stay awake with you when you cried at night, in case you needed something.
You wouldn't have needed anything.
But they kept leaving you over the kitchen counter a cup of hot chocolate, bitter, because you had long since given up the absurd amount of sugar that was milk candy.
They had both been open and understanding when with downcast eyes you had asked, whispered, if it was all right for you to walk away from that world
"You're your own person, and it's just right you try different things and what works better for you. Our world doesn't have to be your world. And that won't change what we feel about you"
You realised you were crying when Julie wiped the tears from your face. She had just painted her nails.
Relationships with the Verstappens went on without too much trouble, they had only diminished, sleepovers and outings with Victoria were still a must have and Sophie had never made a secret of how much she enjoyed your company.
Only once had you been asked if you would like to see one of Max's races live again.
Neither of them had insisted when you had declined due to an important commitment that day, but neither of them had missed how tense you were at the question.
It was true though, even if you had wanted to go, you couldn't because you really had an important commitment.
Since your time away from the world of racing you had tried different things, but radio was the one you felt most at home in: whether you were put on the assistant director's desk or the leaderboard or whatever, you felt you were in your own world.
When you had been offered to replace one of the announcers you had accepted, even if it meant not sleeping until the next morning. It was worth it, in the end, because they had confirmed you for that nightly column which, although niche, had seen a significant increase in ratings since you had been hosting it. The audience liked your approach, they interacted more, even at that ungodly hour, and even for the other hosts it was clear that that was your place.
The YouTube channel came later, even though it wasn't entirely your idea: at first it was stories or live feeds on Instagram, but your audience seemed to like it and they suggested you expand it, so you did.
There were people who didn't like you, who thought you were fake and posh, and who enjoyed sending you unkind comments. But it didn't matter any more.
There were people who liked you, even without ever having seen you. People who without knowing you thanked you because you had said something that made their day better, or because they felt understood by someone.
(That had been another reason for your broadening the topics of discussion on your channel).
Deciding to do a live broadcast from the kart track had been something you had been thinking about for a while. Even though you had drifted away from the world of racing, it had always been a part of you, and it would come back to greet you cyclically when you got notifications of start times, qualifying results or penalty investigations.
You hadn't managed to completely detach yourself from what had been your world for most of your life, those who knew you simply didn't know this side of you.
You were embarrassed to say that the reason you no longer followed the sport so assiduously was because it reminded you of how your first crush had rejected you without realising it, and you were even more embarrassed to think that that little crush on Max Verstappen had never really got over.
But the kartdrome was not just the more or less painful memories of Max. It was also the hiding between the tyres to study, the milk sweets you offered to everyone who came in, the people who switched from karts to formula but always went back to their roots, so you decided to give it a try.
You didn't know how you would react if it went wrong, but fortunately for you your interest in the sport seemed to be appreciated, so much so that you found yourself walking around a paddock again after not setting foot there for years.
Returning to breathe the air of racing was strange: it wasn't something new, but it was different from what you remembered.
It was strange to move around and meet people who wanted to take a photo with you, hug you or just say hello, you didn't think you had brought much to what was the world of car racing, yet everywhere you turned there were people who seemed to think otherwise.
It was even stranger to meet familiar faces long before they became famous. You'd known them from Max's races, you'd even stopped to talk to some on occasion, but you hadn't kept in touch.
"Look who's finally back"
It had taken you a while to realise that Esteban was talking to you: you couldn't remember ever having spoken a word to him when you went to watch the races. He must have noticed, as he snorted a laugh before showing you a photo in which oh, yeah, that was definitely you wearing a sweatshirt kindly donated by Max standing next to you
The other kid in the photo must have been Esteban but in your eyes he was so different that you had to alternate your gaze between him and the photo before you really realised.
"You were always nice to everyone. It was a shame not to see you around any more."
He had been the first to say it, but after meeting other drivers the general thought seemed the same: you were someone who, despite everything, stuck out.
Not once had the thought of how you would behave if you met Max crossed your mind.
That's why you didn't know how to react when you met him.
Although perhaps it was more accurate to say that it was he who had met you.
It wasn't that you hadn't recognised him, you were realising that the man in front of you, with the two glasses in his hand, wasn't one of the many people there.
It was Max Verstappen.
The same Max Verstappen who didn't know how to deal with others, who watched from afar as the other children played, not knowing which way to approach them.
You didn't know what it was, whether an involuntary reflex or something else, but you broke that embarrassed silence.
Yours was not a question to be answered with ‘less than you think’, and you were ready to ask for an argument if he did not ask another question
"Why didn't you come to the Redbull pit?"
That wasn't a question to ask someone you hadn't seen in a long time, especially not in that tone that almost seemed to accuse you, when he had no right to do so
"Sorry what-"
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to the races? I could've-"
"I didn't have to tell you tho" maybe you had been too blunt in answering him, but it was true. You didn't have to give any information, plus it would have been weird to tell Max with whom you had been radio silent for years "We hadn't talked in ages, I couldn't just text you. It didn't feel right, you know?"
You had seen his gaze change and could feel the wheels turning in his head, but you too had started to ask yourself some questions
"Didn't think you knew I was there … Was it Vic who told you?"
"Heard you on the radio"
Oh. You didn't think Max was a radio guy, honestly. Not least because even though they'd changed them, your column times still remained infamous.
There was another silence that led to your apology for his break-up with Kelly, a subject Max didn't seem to want to talk about at all, given the fleeting change of expression.
He was pensive. And sad. Yet more proof of how important Kelly was to him.
Somewhat resentfully you wondered if he had ever made such an expression thinking about you, although you found it difficult that between all his commitments Max found time to think about you. He hadn't thought about you since he started dating Kelly, why would he now
"I can get you a pass, if you plan to watch the race"
You had laughed.
What else were you supposed to do in a situation that oscillated between the ridiculous and the comical
"If I plan to watch the race? I don't think you will ever find someone who's not here for the race. Well, they sure have other things to do, but you know what I mean"
It was common knowledge that the Montecarlo race was the VIP hangout, and you didn't think you had to be the one to explain it to Max
"I appreciate the thought, but I already got my pass, but thank you"
you backed away from the railing you had been leaning against, convinced that the conversation would end there, now that you had nothing to go on talking about, but what he asked next left you mildly surprised
"Even for Quali?"
He "You… “ remembered "have my attention"
It wasn't common knowledge, but you often preferred qualifying to racing: there was something about pre-race performances that gave you goosebumps, an adrenaline rush you could never quite describe. Max knew it. He'd listened to you for hours as you explained how the qualifying air was different, and he often agreed with you, even if he would just put his head down and let you talk.
Time may have passed, but he still had that same expression that you had never been able to put a name to.
You had smiled when you recognised Raymond's voice greeting you: he had been Verstappen's manager for as long as you could remember, but it was he who had steered you into the world of radio. You owed him a lot -
(Did that make you an honorary nepo- baby of some kind?).
After asking him to pass on your apologies to Ray you were drawn into another conversation, and then another and another, that you almost didn't notice how Max's presence followed you around like a shadow, though not physically, and how that seemed to make the others uncomfortable.
Almost.
It had been like stepping back in time for an evening: sensing his gaze from a distance, knowing exactly what he was thinking with just a glance, having conversations that lasted a blink of an eye, a slight smile or a shake of the head
And you were pretty sure the next day you would have regretted not clarifying the situation right away.
It had come back to you why you thought you had a chance with him, why you had seen things that had never been there, why you had fallen in love with him
Misunderstanding Max wasn't difficult, in fact, he made it quite easy.
And you had always read too much between the lines
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#mv33 imagine#mv33 fic#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#f1 fiction#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#light angst#hurt/comfort
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Ok you guys I went to sleep at 1 am and woke up at fucking 5 am to watch arcane so here are my thoughts/review:
After I finished it, first of all, I was mad lmao, then I thought about it for a moment and I started crying, but like ugly crying with sobs and everything because holy shit Jayce and Viktor, then I stopped crying, thought about it a bit more, and I got mad Again lmao
Now spoilers
It was a fucking mess lmao
Like seriously what the fuck fortiche, what the fuck Riot, it was such a fucking mess, it was all over the place, the story was rushed, the characters arcs were rushed, there was a lot of things that felt very forced because they didn't have time to let it happen naturally and I can tell a lot of things that would've been good were left in the inkpot
About Cait and Vi: I truly and honestly couldn't have care less about them lmao
I know I know
But I already fucking knew they were going to end up together that Vi was going to forgive Cait for being a fascist etc etc, for me their arc was already finished and I didn't have time to care about them because I was more worried about what the heck would happen to the other characters and how in hell would they wrap up that mess. If they would've cut all their scenes and gave that time to Mel or something, I would've been so fucking happy
Also, the sex scene annoyed me so much lmao, I was thinking "IF YOU WANTED A SEX SCENE YOU SHOULD'VE ADDED ANOTHER SEASON FORTICHE! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT NOW!" lmao
Mel: I liked the concept of her arc, I like the theory, I can see their vision, what they were going for
But in reality it wasn't fucking that
Like, I like the idea of having Mel realize that she was much more than the daughter of her mother, that she had her own value for who she was instead of simply being the blood in her veins. But boy, it didn't feel at all like she realized that lmao
It just felt like she was "now I'm confident enough about myself to confront my mother because the writers said so" like what? This is what I mean when I say that a lot of things felt forced
Viktor: ok, ok I'm just like *heavy sigh*
To be honest part of why I was mad at first was Viktor's character, I was like "So what? You stop being a humanity loving pacifist to become a fucking control freak who hates free will and emotions just like that?" But then I thought about it, and if you frame his arc through Jayce, it actually made sense, because you see, everything he did was for Jayce. When he came back and went to build his cult, I mean, Commune, he was doing their hextech dream, the thing they always wanted, the thing Jayce always wanted
When Jayce went and rejected him by shooting him in the chest (thanks Jayce) he was hurt, he lashed out and wanted to get rid of all emotions, ironically it was a very emotional reaction. So then as soon as Jayce was back with him, he realized his mistake and stopped
So yeah, it makes sense, the problem is that I shouldn't have to stop and piece together a character motivation like that Fortiche what the hell. I know some people say "let the audience do some work!" But I feel like I'm doing all the fucking work here
What they did was great! Good! But just like Mel, give it more fucking time please
And the machine herald design was a bit ugly lmao, like his design in the game looks better, but thinking about it, and looking at the other robots design and how Viktor dresses in the series. I think it makes sense that this specific Viktor would design something like that
EDIT: Oh! I Also forgot to add:
My favorite scene of him was when Jayce was taking out all of those things one by one and Viktor waited until he was done to push them all back LMAO he didn't need to do that
Jayce:
Jayce, what the hell
Like, I understand why Viktor acted like he did, but like, what was up with you?
I mean, the end implied that he knew all along what was going to happen (machine herald, save Viktor etc), but like, why did he acted so angry at the commune then? He seemed so erratic and Angry like he didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew, and then he switched back to normal but like, what was up with all of what happened before? If anything, why didn't just he let Viktor get to the hexgate peacefully and then talk to him? Idk, it just seems to me like Jayce was the character the most affected by the crossfire of the plot happening because the writers had a very specific ending in mind and no time to get to that ending naturally
Also "hextech is bad" Then proceeds to let everyone keep using it lmao
Ambessa and Singed: of all the characters I think these one were the worst of all lmao
Like the plot completely changed Jayce and forced Mel, but like, these two just were put aside? Lmao
Everyone at Fortiche was like "Fuck Ambessa and Fuck Singed" which is a shame because these two were really interesting
Ekko and Jinx:
I think of all the other characters, these two were the best ones
I didn't feel like their arc was forced, it felt like they were given enough time, but you know why? Because their arc started in season 1, in this season they just finished it
The only thing I will complain about is Isha, because it just feels like they used her and completely discarded her after like a broken toy. Like Silco was waaay better handled than her
Heimmerdinger: I mean, I didn't care much about him lmao, he was only there because the plot needed him, and when he wasn't necessary anymore they got rid of him lmao
But it was less obvious than Isha at least
Viktor and Jayce: now, this is the part that got me fucking crying so much, and this along with Ekko and Jinx are the things that make me feel conflicted about this ending and not hate it as much as I would otherwise
It was all left ambiguous, and the cynical part of me thinks "of course they can't make it any more obvious because then the dude bros who main Viktor and Jayce in LoL are going to cry about how they don't want to play as a man who wants to kiss another man"
But if I take it at face value... Ngl guys, it was good
Like how Jayce chose Viktor after everything he did, how Viktor tried to push Jayce away to protect him but Jayce refused to leave, how all they wanted wasn't progress, or fame or power, but simply be together. And they got to be together in the end
Damn, I'm crying again
I JUST FUCKING WISH EVERYTHING AROUND IT WASN'T A MESS!
And I wanted to add, when everyone in Zaun went to help everyone in Piltover to deal with Ambessa, I wouldn't have done that, fuck them, they put a fucking fascist dictator on power, probably made a lot of people "dissappear" and just like that they are like "Guys, we're sorry, we need your help now :(" fuck that
In the end, it doesn't feel like Fortiche earned this ending. Season 2 should've ended with Arc 2, and Arc 3 should've been a whole season
And I can't give it a rating, because I don't know, I didn't like a lot of it, but there were some parts that I really fucking loved
But if someone asked me if it was worth to give the series a try, I would say yes, but don't get your hopes up for the ending lmao
#ramblings#arcane#jayvik#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#ekko#ekko arcane#Jinx#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#arcane season 2#timebomb#mel medarda#mel arcane
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can i request for hoshi + 8 was anything real between us?
also happy ending plss 🥹
of course 🥰 thank you for requesting!!!
request your own: full prompt list!
check out my masterlist!
angst prompt #8: "was anything real between us?"
soonyoung couldn’t stop watching you. it had been like that for the past few weeks—your laugh no longer making his heart race the way it used to, your touch no longer feeling like a spark. you were slipping away from him, and no matter how many times he tried to convince himself it was just a phase, the truth gnawed at him like a bitter taste.
the two of you had always been in this strange, limbo space—something more than just friends, but never quite enough to call it a relationship. late-night calls, inside jokes, and lazy mornings spent tangled in each other’s arms. soonyoung had always enjoyed it, always hoped it could be more. he’d wanted it to be more.
but you were pulling away. slowly, almost imperceptibly, but it was there. you didn’t laugh at his jokes as much, didn’t touch him the same way anymore, and lately, it felt like every time you two hung out, you were rushing to leave, making excuses to cut your time short.
tonight was supposed to be different. it was supposed to be just the two of you, sharing dinner at his place, like old times. but as the night wore on, he felt it again—the distance. you were quieter than usual, distant in a way that made him anxious. he tried to brush it off, tried to chalk it up to you having a bad day, but deep down, he knew something was wrong.
as you stood up from the table, gathering your things, he felt his heart sink. “are you leaving already?” he asked, his voice low, the hurt creeping in before he could stop it.
“yeah, i—i have work tomorrow,” you mumbled, not meeting his eyes as you zipped your bag shut. “i should get going.”
“no, wait,” soonyoung's voice cracked desperately, standing up quickly, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “why are you acting like this?” his voice was soft but filled with confusion, his eyes searching yours. “what’s wrong? why have you been so cold lately?”
you froze, your chest tightening. you knew exactly why. the more you fell for him, the more you realized this… this wasn’t going anywhere. you had tried to convince yourself otherwise, told yourself that things were fine, but it hurt too much to keep pretending. it hurt to realize you’d fallen in love with someone who couldn’t see you the way you needed him to.
but you couldn’t tell him that. not when your heart was already breaking just thinking about it.
“nothing’s wrong,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze as you pulled your wrist gently from his grasp. “i just have a lot on my mind, okay?”
“no,” soonyoung’s voice hoarse, desperation in his words as he took a step closer to you, his hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek. “don’t lie to me,” his thumb brushed softly over your skin, his eyes searching yours, pleading for an answer. “you’re not the same. you’ve been distant. have i done something wrong? did i hurt you?”
you shook your head, taking a shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “no, you didn’t hurt me, soonyoung. i just…” your voice trailed off, the words too hard to say. how could you explain that the more you let yourself care about him, the more you realized this was nothing but a dead-end?
“you just what?” he pressed, his grip on your cheek tightening ever so slightly, the vulnerability in his eyes evident. “tell me what’s going on, because i can’t stand this. i can’t stand not knowing why you’re pulling away from me.”
your heart pounded in your chest as you finally met his eyes. “soonyoung…” your voice was barely a whisper, the words too difficult to say out loud. you had been avoiding them for so long, afraid that once you said them, everything would fall apart. “i’m scared.”
soonyoung frowned, his thumb still brushing over your cheek. “scared of what?”
“scared that this… this thing between us isn’t real,” you choked out, the tears finally escaping. “we’re just… we’re just stuck in this weird place, and i can’t do it anymore. i love you, soonyoung, but i don’t think you love me back the same way. i don’t think you ever will.”
the silence between you two stretched out, heavy and suffocating. soonyoung’s eyes widened, his mouth parting slightly as he processed your words. “what… what are you talking about?” his voice was low, almost broken. “i love you. i love you so much.”
you shook your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. “no, soonyoung, you don’t. not in the way i need you to.”
he stepped back, his hand falling from your cheek, and for a moment, he looked lost. hurt. “so that’s it? you're not even going to try? you’re just going to walk away?”
your chest ached. “i don’t want to, but—”
“was anything real between us?” soonyoung interrupted, his voice raw, his eyes searching yours desperately for an answer. “was it all just some game to you? did you ever care about me? because i’ve been in love with you, for so long, and i thought… i thought we were building something real.”
you felt like you couldn’t breathe. the words you’d been holding back, the things you were so afraid to say, were coming out now, and it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest. “i’m sorry,” you whispered, choking on your own tears. “i didn’t know what else to do.”
soonyoung took a step forward, his hand gently cupping your face, his thumb wiping away the tears. “i love you,” he said again, his voice softer now. “i love you, and i want to make this work. so stop running from me.”
you looked into his eyes, the weight of his words sinking in. and suddenly, everything became clear. the fear, the doubt, the pain—it was all a reflection of your own insecurities. soonyoung had never stopped loving you. he had always been there, always wanted you.
and you had never really given him the chance to show you.
“i love you, too,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “i’m sorry for pushing you away.”
you nodded, burying your face in his chest, the warmth of his arms around you making everything feel right again.
soonyoung smiled, the relief flooding his features as he pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you like he never wanted to let go. “then let’s make this work, okay? no more running away from each other.”
#seventeen imagine#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#soonyoung#kwon soonyoung#hoshi#hoshi seventeen#kown soonyoung seventeen#soonyoung seventeen#seventeen soonyoung#soonyoung x reader#kwon soonyoung x reader#hoshi x reader#soonyoung fluff#soonyoung imagine#soonyoung angst#soonyoung fanfic#hoshi fluff#hoshi angst#hoshi imagine#hoshi fanfic#seventeen angst#daisymbin: reqs
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hello !!! :D i love ur works sm 💞💞
how would the 781 trio react to their gf being insecure about her body but refusing to tell them because theyre busy and dont wanna bother them??
thank u >.<
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they help you through your insecurities
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the somberness would radiate off of you, and it would not go unnoticed. talisen wouldn’t know where to pinpoint where it stemmed from and neither would alessio. but rishen may have had an idea of where it all came from.
she recognised the signs of insecurity, it was merely a matter figuring out what it was you were insecure about. she’d been quick to catch on to the diets you attempted, the overworking your body with unhealthy amount of exercise, and yet you still seemed so very unhappy.
you had always been beautiful to the three lovers. your curves, your perfections, your flaws, but in reality. the way you looked was never what mattered to them. it always sounds cliche, but they mean it when they say that they fell for who you are, now how you look.
despite how busy they all were, the three of them would individually drop off small notes to you throughout the day. ones that would sometimes make you cry.
“don’t overwork yourself, you’ll be okay, even if you don’t follow the usual routine.”
“please remember that the soul of which you carry within burns brighter than anything the world has ever seen. nevermind which form in these lives that you take, you will always have a wonder and beauty exuding from you, more than you may realise.
“please remember to eat the things you love too, whether they are healthy or not. as long as you eat is what matters.”
you tried your hardest to keep yourself together around them, but eventually it would all come down upon you. like walls crumbling into dust.
it hurt, it hurt so much for them to see you. usually happy and upbeat you struggling to express how much you despised the littlest things on you. things that weren’t even there.
the extra fat below your chin, it wasn’t there, the squish you said you hated on your thighs. it wasn’t there, all of the things you had nitpicked weren’t even there, and you didn’t realise it.
it suddenly made even more sense to the trio why you preferred hoodies nad sweatpants instead of tight or body fitting clothes. but you were so beautiful, and they wish they could lend you their eyes.
they wish you’d see what they saw. nevermind how naked or dressed you were — beautiful, you are so beautiful. on days where you say you feel and look like shit, on days where you feel pretty, or on days where you just look normal.
it didn’t make a difference, because they loved you for who you were inside. your outside was a shell they could hug onto, worship and hold. the warmth you radiated was your soul and the smiles you gave looked like bright and clear skies to them.
and they told you that
holding you close from all sides, while hushing your cries gently.
“you never have to worry about any of what you just said, baobei. because it is not there.” talisen would murmur from your right.
rishen, who was to your left, would murmur quierly into your ear too: “and even if you did we would love you all the same. we would hold you all of the same. your soul is what we fell in love with. we fell in love with you.”
and the mercenary behind you would lean down and press a gently kiss to your shoulder, gently massasging at your back.
“nevermind how you look, we will always love you. because the way you look physically, is not something we care about.”
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Keep you safe and keep you dreaming
hi friends! wrote a quick lil sickfic for ficwip's 1000-word challenge (write a fic with exactly 1000 words) that doubles as a gift to my no-longer-sick friend @anxietybard!! thank u to @toweroftunes for the beta!! pls give it a read under the cut or on AO3 <3
She hates when he’s sick, and he can’t help feeling guilty about it.
Soul tosses another tissue into the trash-can heap, watching as it tumbles down the mound of bunched-up microbes and nestles itself against the rim. He lets out a sigh that is noisier than usual, mucus corroding the sides of the exhaust pipe that is his throat.
He understands the root of her discomfort, of course. It’s not so much the present cough and sniffles as it is the memories it brings back. It’s the past that eats at her soul, for lack of a better word. Because when he’s sick, she makes herself sick with her own consumption, her own acidic bile of regrets. He knows what she sees, when he’s lying in his own bed in the apartment: the Soul of ten years prior, bedridden and feverish in an infirmary cot, looking like the first cut into an ultra-rare steak.
He tries to remember this, to empathize with this, when she’s being the way she is now, three hours deep into a WebMD rabbit hole and shoving both remedies and conspiracies in his face.
“An orange is a perfectly reasonable thing to eat when you’re sick!” she’s saying from the foot of his bed, holding a plate with a full-on pyramid of them balanced in her left hand, the other hand defensive on her hip.
“S’not the idea of oranges that’s unreasonable, it’s the fact that you’re giving me twelve ,” he grits out. He wants to lie back dramatically, but he’s too clogged up to do so.
Many moons ago, he would’ve thought of the orange onslaught as a thinly-veiled attempt to keep Blair out of his room, having heard way too many warnings and factoids about cats and their aversions to citrus over the years. As if on cue, Blair yells out a grateful “Thaaank you~!” from the living room, her keen nose having registered the oranges’ absence.
Years prior, Blair would have been way too happy to ‘play nurse’ for him in his vulnerable state - something that had always irked Maka, obviously. To be fair, he sort of feels like having someone lie in bed with him might be pretty helpful for his recuperations, though he has a strong first choice for this assignment, and it certainly has never been Blair.
“Twelve oranges might be good for you!” Maka insists, pinking in the cheeks at his mental suggestions. Their link is always more open when he’s sick; it takes too much effort to keep his walls up that he doesn’t want to expend, and all she usually hears is vague sniffling and doom-and-glooming, so. “Besides,” she adds, suddenly serious. “Scurvy’s making a comeback.”
“You think I have scurvy? ”
“I’m just saying that an orange or twelve couldn’t hurt!” she exclaims, moving to place the plate on his bedside table. He snatches his phone off its charger just in time to avoid death by Annoying Orange, and makes good use of it to pull up the symptoms for scurvy.
As he scrolls, he starts to grin. “Hah. Maybe I caught it from you.” At her curious glance, he adds: “Apparently one of the main symptoms of scurvy is being chronically irritable.”
She huffs, rolling her eyes at him as she exits. Guilt renewed, he sends out an apology on the airwaves, one that she meets with a brush of mental fingers.
M’not going anywhere, okay? he thinks, sending the words through the gap in the door, a love letter. Promise.
There’s a sound like a sigh in her soul, followed by a montage of emotions. An old, deep, burning fear. An undying flame, smothered by time, suddenly reborn. And then - relief. Comfort. And then… guilt of her own, for being the one who needs the comfort.
Go sleep s’more , she thinks back, voice growing weaker as she heads deeper into the house. I’ll be here when you wake up.
The reciprocal I promise that she tacks on is a mere whisper of a thought, but he hears it nonetheless. It’s an effective anesthetic, lulling him into a nap.
He dreams of orange peels and dark cathedrals, the old ache across his ribs tugging at something still-unhealed in his psyche.
When he awakes, it’s to a new smell - a bowl of chicken soup, steam rising and catching the late afternoon sunlight through his window. Next to it, a cascade of saltine crackers arcs along the accompanying plate. A mug of tea sits at its side, steaming slightly as well. The oranges are still there, moved slightly back. She’s left him a tiny space on the table for his phone to sit, which he sheepishly plugs in.
He reaches out for the soup and takes a sip, the ache in his chest slightly soothed. He smiles a little, savoring it, taking in the quiet of the room, the way the steam clears his head, opens his sinuses.
Once he’s almost done, the door clicks open - she’d felt him wake up, of course.
“Is it okay?” she asks.
“S’delicious,” he says, clearing his throat a little.
“Good,” she says, business-like, taking the empty bowl and placing it on the table. And then, slightly less businesslike: “Can I come in?”
He looks up at her, gaze soft as he takes in her embarrassment, as if they haven’t been doing this for years. “Duh.”
She lifts the comforter and clambers in, getting settled and resting her head on his chest.
“You sure you wanna stay?” he asks after a few minutes, poking at her shoulder. “Might get sick.” “S’worth it,” she mutters, ducking her head. “Besides. I’ve had plenty of vitamin C.”
“You sure?” he asks. “Got some oranges I could lend you.”
She scoffs in response, squeezing at his side.
For the rest of the afternoon, they lie wrapped in each other, comforted by the fact that, amidst the steam and the scent of oranges and the promise of not going anywhere - that suddenly, it’s slightly easier to breathe.
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It was glitching out so I wanted to reblog before it fucked up again but imma keep going. Also Tommy n Marionetta are platonic cuz I like the idea of them being besties 4 like no reason lol
Art Posabule x Clay Puppington- Self love is best love. Also they're both hot to me so. Yeah. Art Posabule x Bloberta Puppington- Would it be better or worse than Clay n Bloberta? Poppit Posabule x Clay Puppington- Better..or worse? Danielle Stopframe x Mr. Cartsen- Idk they both work with kids, maybe at a teacher conference they subtly flirt to each other or something. Mr. Cartsen x Dottie Trophywife- Much like Roger, Mr. Cartsen needs a girlboss to put him in his place, and Dottie is happy to serve!! Mr. Cartsen x Kim Latchkey- Same as above. She makes his glasses steam up x3 Miss Secondopionson x Bloberta Puppington- Such a rarepair but fanart has made me be like hmm...they are kinda cute...they're both basically mothers that would literally wanna be anything else. Of course more on Bloberta's end but still, as much as I love Joe, and I don't blame him, it has to be..a handful dealing with him. Principal Fakey x Dr. Potterswheel- They are both such awful little people. Maybe they can make each other worse??? Neutral Miss Censordoll x Clay Puppington- Eh it's a little interesting but it's not my cup of tea. I get the appeal tho esp since it's kinda canon lol. Clay Puppington x Danielle Stopframe- They are so wonderfully interesting on screen together but I could never really get into shipping them in the traditional sense of rooting for them, with Danielle being obsessive & Clay never fully allowing himself to be who he is or even kiss the damn guy. and then go and kiss miss censordoll right in his face. So I'm not rooting for them and I'm not throwing tomatoes at them either, I just wanna see what makes them tick really like a lab experiment. Roger Papermouth x Bloberta Puppington- I know it would have been canon later but eh. Maybe if we got s4 and s5 my mind would be changed a little more but right now it's ok. Danielle Stopframe x Reverend Putty- I like this on paper of Danielle likely being super obsessive over Putty and that making Putty feel a weird sort of validation or appreciation. Again not my cup of tea but I think it's interesting. Stephaine Putty x Dolly Forghetty- Seen some fanart. It's cute. I'm just not rooting for them or anything. NoTPs: Florence Papermouth x Roger Papermouth- Not me cup of tea. Florence Papermouth x Reverend Putty- I definitely like this a bit more after seeing the animatic for Narcissism but...idk the scene where they fuck seemed a bit awkward/forced. Plus idk I don't like the cliche of the heavy-set character only really getting with the love interest after they lost weight. I know it's not exactly like that because Revs was thinking abt her before he knew she lost so much weight but idk it just feels...hm. Not amazeballs. Reminds me a tiny bit of the end of the end of the Dick Figures movie where Red and the "go home" girl get together and he confesses to her when she's still fat but you only see them actually together when she's thin. Idk. It feels off. It's not awful of course but yeah. Nurse Bendy x Principal Fakey & Millie Fakey x Principal Fakey, - ...yeah. Nurse Bendy x Reverend Putty- This is just more so how sad it makes me that in Narcissism they get together after he calls her smart. It makes my heart hurt that she's that undervalued that she throws herself at a guy that gives her any validation :[ not revs fault tho cuz he was probably only trying to help Reverend Putty x Dottie Trophywife- He only likes her cuz of her appearance and ik they get together in Narcissism too but idk I don't think she really likes him that much, more like just getting back at Florence more than anything.
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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I found this to be such a random comment until I realised it was Balgeum saying it and it suddenly felt so heavy
#his money trauma runs so deep he cant see how his behaviour hurts inho much more than any money issues could#or maybe he does and its just that bad that he cant physically stop himself#when he told inho to go back i was like my man he cant keep coming back until you have enough money to feel secure#if you dont deal with this now that insecurity is gonna run for the rest of your life and even if you do have money youll always worry abou#losing them and not be able to enjoy the comfort that comes with them#and youre always going to base your feeling of self worth on them#and your happiness and everything valuable in your life would be so easy to destroy#itd crumble#i want him to see the truth so bad it hurts me watching him go through it#im happy he was at least honest with inho#thats a step#hes gonna have to take a lot of small ones too#all of these hurt boys ugh#its such a pretty show and the comedy is fun and the acting is top notch that it makes me ignore how much sadness there actually is in ever#episode#and i recommend it as a light watch because they mix the sweet and the sour so well#but i feel for all of these characters#including hyejin lol#boys be brave
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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me
hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it
#asks#<-omg i can make that a tag now#i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double#like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube#my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third#but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together#and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off#they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors#i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1#and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo#whisp whispers#seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like#the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people#i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising#and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters#and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying#he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean#'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean#r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately#isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk#it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of#to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas#i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving#jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk
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i so sad
#thoughts#i think im having like a panic attack or something#like#something attack#i dont want to talk to anyone anymore i keep messing things up#i called a mentally ill person disgusting because i didnt see their other anon confessions in the server about their mental illnesd#they menyioned how they shower once a month#and i saw that i didnt see the other messages#i asked them how they didnt get uncomfortable “being that disgusting”#i meant it like. The feeling of#Not having taken a shower in a month. I didnt want to imply they were inherently disgudsting for their mental illness and everyone was like#wow rayman what the fuck is wrong with you why would you say that about someone. and they vented about me in the vent channel#it was a horrible thing for me to say and like yesterday i also fucked up i said mean shit to someone. I dont know whats wrong with me why i#cant stop doing bad things. i need to kill myself or something i need to lock myself away so other people dont get hurt by me#i was clawing at my head crying hitting myself with my knuckles because i just fucking loathed myself i pretend im so happy and like yeah im#happy but like really i fucking hate myself so so much more than anything in the world the only reason im not dead is because i love this#world enough to stay on it. i hate myself so much. i get so so sad when i look in the mirror because im not who i am im no one im always#trying to be a person or something when im nothing im so worthless coping off the “smart” compliments i got in 2nd grade when in reality im#just some stupid fucking rancid asshole with rage anxiety lonlieness stewing in my soul for 5 years i cant be normal around anyone im not#supposed to be friends with anyone i shouldnt have a partner he needs to kill me i need him to beat me over the head with a shovel and keep#beating me and stabbbing me with it until im alll brutally mauled unrecognizable and he should call me worthless the whole time and i#deserve it
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I’m thinking about the ran-jit fight again and how u end up killing him and how it still feels. not great that you kill him, but I can kinda see it from an eyrie pov of being the one to kill him
#it’s like. they already have this rage harbored for the man#but it boils down to them being in a place in ShB where they can’t trust thancred to make the choice to kill him#even if he really could do it. eyrie doesn’t trust thancred to actually do the deed#it’s also partially because they are more than happy to have that blood on their hands#they have no qualms about taking that burden on#knowing all that they do about him it’s clear he made his choice of the world he wishes to live in#the way he wants the world to be and the ends he will go to and the people he will hurt to uphold it#there’s so much ignorance in eulmore but he knows and yet he abides in it#he willfully lives in it and carries out orders at his own behest#he fully and delusionally believes this is the best for the world#which this puts him opposed to eyrie and they have no qualms about going against someone like that#there is no saving ran’jit#eyrie has a lack of trust but they do want to keep thancred safe from that choice#which is. very older brother of eyrie and kinda a messed up mindset#but eyrie and Thancred’s relationship in ShB is all sorts of mess#but beyond Thancred it boils down to Ryne as well#they will see ran’jit dead so that she doesn’t have to make that choice#to be burdened by it#even if there still remains the burden of eyrie taking this on for her#they would see her carry many burdens but not the death of ran’jit#so in a way his death by eyrie’s hand works#which is v fun for character dynamics#but narratively I still think thancred killing him would be better#shadowbringers spoilers#oc: eyrie kisne#I fuckin love the return to eulmore#and I can forgive the stuff in the upper part of Khoulsia because it’s not super terrible bc exarch moment#bc after it’s just go go go to the end of MSQ
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