#because if you believe it's a personal problem then you can convince yourself you're safe from it

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

fucking bullshit how when a member of the working class isn't thriving in a system meant to exploit them it's somehow their fucking fault because one way or another they've somehow Done Something Wrong.

"you should have asked for more hours" what if you're working all you fucking can while still being able to stay awake on the job. which we shouldn't have to fucking do.

"you shouldn't have spent too much on things you don't need" you should be able to spend on one or two nice fucking things without being broke

"you should get store brand instead of name brand" getting the store brand of everything still amounts to hundreds of fucking dollars for a week's worth of groceries

"you should have listened to the financial advice you got as a teenager" we did. we fucking did.

"you shouldn't have spent so much in loans" we did so we could get those Good Jobs You Need Degrees For like you fucking told us to

"you should have gotten a better degree" I shouldn't fucking need one to have a job that I can live off of

"you should have started working sooner so you could have saved up" not every teenager has parents that will fucking let them work and even then you should not have to work on top of school as a fucking child

"you should have listened to this financial coach" I am not fucking poor because I didn't listen to some grifter trying to sell me a fucking "course" that I can't afford. I fucking promise you that.

"you should have" "you should" "you shouldn't have" "you shouldn't" you should maybe fucking consider that this is bullshit. jumping through these hoops is bullshit. trying to do everything you were advised to just to still end up in shitty circumstances is bullshit. trying to prove you've made all the choices you were told were the right ones just to try to get people to believe your struggling isn't your fault is bullshit. still being told it's your fault because you didn't do this Secret Financial Life Hack or whatever is bullshit. it's all bullshit.

[many-but-one]

my partner system needs help deprogramming/reprogramming, but doesn't trust any medical professionals due to their trauma. is there anything i'm able to do to help them without the help of a professional? or is there a way to convince them that there is professionals out there who won't take advantage of them?

(TW: this ask talks about how to deprogram. If you're not in a place where reading this would be safe, do not continue)

I want to make it clear that this is not meant to be taken as medical advice, and that this advice should be read as "a friend who has been through this and is giving their two cents" sort of advice. Taking this advice is upon OP's discretion and any problems that arise due to taking this advice is not something I am responsible for.

That being said, I would tread pretty carefully in terms of trying to deprogram by yourself. However, the main parts of deprogramming are something that can actually be done at home, so long as this person has a good support system that can keep an eye on them in case things go wrong. Poking at programming when you're not well-versed in it can go very sideways, as some parts in a programmed system may not react well to this and cause things like self-harm programming or suicide programming to be triggered, which can obviously be dangerous. If you live with this person, make sure you lock away any access to sharp objects or objects that can be used to harm oneself (cleaning supplies, pills, etc) during this, especially in the beginning when you don't know what poking at this will do to their system.

If you do not live with them, I wouldn't even begin trying to deprogram with them because you won't be able to keep an eye on them and keep them safe. Instead, I would continue working on convincing them that not all medical professionals are bad, and that the ones they experienced in the past were a small batch of bad apples in a sea of much better apples. Not every therapist is equipped to handle deprogramming, though, so finding them a DID specialist, especially one who has worked with ritual abuse survivors or even helped systems deprogram will be necessary, as a therapist trying to do this with absolutely no experience in it whatsoever will only make it worse.

Now that I've got that out of the way, the main parts of deprogramming are these things here:

Convincing parts that they don't have to do their jobs anymore and that nothing bad will happen to them if they do not do their job.

Reminding them that their abusers are not omniscient and will not know that they are not doing their jobs and will not know that the system is talking about the fact they are programmed and that they are safe.

Convincing the system to build "safe spaces" in the inner world for alters who have defected from their programming so they do not get punished in the inner world for not doing their programming.

Reminding alters that they are not bad, there is no such thing as bad parts, and no matter what "bad" things they have done in the past, both internally or externally, you will care about them regardless.

Empathy and understanding goes a long way. Listening to parts goes a long way. Convincing parts to be willing to talk about their emotions relating to the trauma goes a long way. Parts often believe that nobody will ever believe what happened to them, so having someone in their corner that believes them and doesn't think they are faking or doesn't think they are a bad person goes a long way.

You're gonna need to get really good at reminding that system to ground. Reminding them that they are an adult, they are safe. Reminding them that it is [insert current year here] and they are safe, etc. Having cold drinks, hand warmers, strong smelling candles (that don't have triggering scents) and other grounding materials nearby at all times is essential.

Making sure they're not in contact with people that perpetrated the abuse is important so they don't try to go back to them to "get fixed" (reprogrammed) is so important for their safety.

Always reminding the system that you care about them genuinely and you can be trusted is a must. Programmed systems are often programmed to never trust anyone outside of the group and have a shit ton of betrayal traumas, so trusting others not to hurt them is incredibly difficult and can seem almost insurmountable. They may sometimes say things that are painful or hurtful to you or make assumptions about you that aren't true. ("You're just trying to be nice to me so you can SA me later" and things like that.) Please try not to take this personally, they have been abused to such a degree that they likely believe that anyone that they trust will eventually betray them and hurt them. You will have to continuously prove that this is not the case.

Kind of less important than the rest but can also be helpful--making sure they have friends other than you. Programmed systems are often very isolated people because they fear the world. Introducing them to safe people (even if those people don't know they're a system) can help prove to them that not all people are bad and will hurt them, and will help with their mental wellbeing outside of deprogramming.

And of course, on top of all of this, it will be important for them to eventually see a professional. All of these suggestions are for people in which seeing a professional is literally or nearly impossible in their circumstances or for folks who haven't processed medical traumas and need a short-term solution for deprogramming until they can overcome these fears and eventually see a specialist.

Last thing and again a reminder, these are not suggestions made by a medical professional, my advice should not be taken as medical advice, and any actions taken by anyone following this advice is not my responsibility. It is your own responsibility to keep yourself safe, not mine.

I hope this ask helps you and others. Take care, anon.

-Many

[giantkillerjack]

Yo I don't know if anyone else is seriously bothered by this but those "good luck" posts where everyone goes wow this post really works you HAVE to reblog it or else you won't get the good thing that happens when you reblog it and therefore it's your fault if the good thing doesn't happen because you didn't reblog the post,

Yeah, those posts. They don't ummmmmmmmm

They don't work.

Like, listen, a little prayer of good luck to give yourself hope is one thing, but every single one of these posts has a comment that is like "this is literally magic I received life-altering amounts of money because of this post REBLOG THIS NOW." And assuming these accounts aren't just also the original poster emotionally manipulating people - And brushing over how foolish/cruel it feels to give false hope and additional tasks to those in poverty AND moving on from how absolutely shitty these posts are for people with compulsion-related disorders or difficulty discerning reality--

it feels to me that the more we make up magic that doesn't exist in this world, the harder it is to see how things really are, and the more it obscures from us the magic that actually does exist. Things like magnetism, electricity, human thought and connection, emotion, storytelling, machinery, fire. That's the sort of magic we have in this world. These magics are real and they can be manipulated in miraculous and terrible ways.

And maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I am able to convince myself that a photo of a four-leaf clover has any amount of cosmic power over my life, then I am no longer looking clearly at my situation and what I need to do to change it. I am no longer able to truly see the magic that IS there.

I feel the same way about astrology honestly. I don't think it's bad to believe in as long as you're not ascribing it to unwilling people, but I personally do feel like if I believed the shapes the Romans saw in the stars made me who I am, then not only would I deny myself autonomy, but also I would miss out on the magic of the stars as huge lonely nuclear light giants indifferent to and ignorant of the lives of humans in terrifying and beautiful ways. I might even dismiss scientific discoveries that didn't fit my view. And I think I've seen enough of the damage that can do for one lifetime. (I am aware that I probably wouldn't have so many problems with astrology if I wasn't a furious ex-Catholic. But again, there's nothing wrong with faith as long as you're not slapping it onto other people.)

But, gods, I hate these fucking good luck posts.

I am not poor due to the stars or the lack of luck-money posts on my dashboard. I am poor because I live in oppressive power structures that I hope to see burn in my lifetime. I need as clear a view of this reality as possible.

If you want to spread positive magic, you have to spread love and information and images/stories of a beautiful shared future that other people are invited to be a part of.

I'm a big believer in Hope. I believe hope is a sacred thing. But I'm not a big fan of false hope.

So in conclusion, if you reblog this post and then tomorrow something very lucky and seemingly unrelated happens, it had nothing to do with this post.

The only Magic will be the magic of unfathomably huge amounts of data transferring all across the world instantaneously to reach you and show you words that came from someone else's heart and mind.

The only Magic will be however it makes you feel to know that if you need luck, at least one other person in this world wants good things to happen to you: I care that you are found. I care that you are loved. I care that you are safe. I care that you live long enough to find or be found by happiness and that you then live for a very long time after that. And I don't need to meet you to know that I'm right.

Know that I will spend the rest of my life working to build spaces where you would be welcome. And maybe you and I will never meet, but I happen to know there's a whole lot of people like me in this world. And I happen to know that as long as you are alive, there is a chance you will grow old in warmth and comfort, surrounded by friends. There is a chance that your old eyes will be crinkled at the sides with laugh lines. And that's magic. That's real magic.

[lutawolf]

The 8th Sense ep 9

I'm going to hang on to the image above by bl-bam-beyond to get me through what I'm sure is to be a roller coaster.

Deep Breath... Okay Lets Do This!!!

I FUCKING LOVE THIS THERAPIST!!! That deep sigh when she says, "okay, work on yourself first." Because she knows there is no other choice. Because emotional fucking damage. I get this so much. I love you, lady.

"And when you're ready, think about what you want to do next." "I want to protect him." Sometimes love is selfless, and sometimes it's selfish. Sometimes they are a little bit of both. Here, we have someone who just wants the person they love to be safe. Not comprehending that sometimes it's better to have love than be safe.

I love bestie so much. Even though I feel an overwhelming need to smack that food out of his mouth, so I can hear him. Even if I'm just reading subtitles. I make no damn sense but there ya go.

I will say that Jae Won makes sense to Ji Hyun which is why they are simply meant to be. Even if I feel the urge to knock some mother fucking sense into everyone.

Haha, bestie over here throwing out words like narcissistic. I won't even correct him because he is funny. Apparently it's not common sense, cause you used it wrong. Still love you though boo.

I freaking love the trio so much! They are adorable. And you can't convince me otherwise. Oh lawd, he just now thought about his painful past.

Well... At least he is pretty, and he gets it now. So. 👀👀👀 And he has solid friends. Fighting! Then bestie goes and thrusts the dagger in. Damn.

Oh, this is going to be a tough scene to watch, isn't it. Those sitting next to each other talking about the incident.

Noooo!!! Him reaching out to hold his hand is gutting me.

Guys!!! Not gonna lie, I was literally holding my breath while I waited for him to go to her. Damn, that was painful. I mean, he isn't so good at it, but he is trying right. That's what matters. Ji Hyun come back and show this clueless boy how it's done!

Fuck, I hate her. She makes me want to gag every time I see her. I want to punch her in the face every time she says Oppa.

Nooooooooooo SHE DIDN'T!

Nope... I'm not okay. Everyone else can forgive. I am not in the forgiveness business. Guess I'll be the odd one out. He wanted to protect him, and then he does that. Yeah… Did that look like protection to you, do, and then you have the ability to be nice to her afterward. To not immediately go after that baby boy. Yeah, fuck this. Guess I'm gonna be the unpopular opinion here.

I love his bestie so much. Ji Hyun, you have the best bestie ever. I have mixed feelings on seeing Jae Won. I'm petty and I don't like to see him happy when he hurt Ji Hyun yet on the other side, maybe it means he is taking his fucking meds and getting his head on straight.

Oh, the look in his eyes when Ji Hyun just left. Then a deep swallow. You deserved that bitch. You really did.

Now that's unselfish love. Even believing that it's all ended. That the cunt won. He doesn't push but lets him know he supports him.

I mean... Didn't you do the same thing to Ji Hyun minus the sex. You didn't even break up officially before being back with her. Shit, I don't even know why I'm bothering to type anymore. I'm sure people have stopped reading at this point.

Shit, doesn't that sound familiar. "I apologize, I was out of my mind." I swear to god if I don't see some growth in this boy.

Oh, the boss knows. Dude, I love her. Okay, I'm pissed at you dude, but that was funny. "I'm here to eat, not listen to a fortune-teller."

OMG! I FUCKING LOVE HER!

"I can't seem to organize my life." "Then organize it." I don't know how many times I've said this. You know what the problem is, now start working towards a solution instead of sitting there and not doing anything about it. I can only help so much, eventually you've got to help yourself. "I feel like things got screwed up big time and I don't know where to begin to fix it."

Shit hit him! Oh, thank you baby Jezebel she hit him! I knew I was in love with her! Oh, I really love her. Knock some motherfucking sense into him!

There ya go. You only live once. Are you finally hearing people, asshole.

Oh! My little button nose. Isn't that just love. Love is forgiveness. For the people who deserve, who support you, and you want to be beside you. Love is forgiveness.

gif by @bl-bam-beyond

I love the song playing in the background of the kiss. Life is complicated and messy, grab your happiness where you can.

For those who read this. Thank you! 💜💜💜

[discluded]

Hi, I'm going to open this with I adore Jeff and Barcode! They seem to have a solid friendship. Having, said that I'm still not convinced by their romantic chemistry... and their fan service dynamic is giving me war flash backs. I had a young straight work friend, who I suspect was questioning or curious. She was very touchy/cheeky/flirty with me compared to others (after she found out I was gay) in a way that reminds me of how Barcorde is with Jeff. I dunno I'm definitely projecting, but Jeff seems solid in his identity (whatever that is, not my business) and he gets this careful, slightly tired look sometimes with Barcode that I strongly identify with. Anyway I know Jeff's focus is music anyway, but I just wish they'd paired him with Bible or Us or someone else for Wuju.

Sorry long weird ask, but if you were gonna pick from the KPTS boys, who would you pair Jeff with?

Hello ♥ kajsd;lfjask;l is this going to get me in trouble with the JBC fans 🤣

I don't think you're entirely projecting, but I also believe Jeff has specifically and actively made himself a safe space for Barcode to learn about and grow into himself. Jeff seems like a very thoughtful, compassionate, and empathetic person, and given how he's talked about his struggles in the industry before, I'm sure he wants to make a place where Barcode can be safe in his early career projects while also learning about himself. Let's not forget, being 18 kind of sucks, and being 18 in the spotlight -- as we know from the slew of Disney starlets that have ended up the way they have -- is actively detrimental to your mental health.

As for the exploring part, given how hard Jeff has little brother-zoned Barcode, there is a way he's definitely "safe" for Barcode as well. I don't have a problem with straight actors playing queer roles, especially if it makes them more compassionate and empathetic as well. As the brilliant Hikaru Utada has said, it's bad to cast the queer experience as so alienating it's incomprehensible to anyone who's not queer -- and I think Jeff is also a person who is "safe" for Barcode in that way too, if that answer for him is No. Which I think a lot of times the queer community is not as open to as they should be.

Are we also talking about the petting Jeff's leg like a kitty? 🤣 I also had a quick convo about this with @moerusai and @ohyesididnotjustdothat but if the target audience is yourself (read: Barcode's intrusive thought to treat Jeff like a cat) and other people happen to see it, it's not necessarily fanservice so much as... self service that also pleases fans. I mean we don't call the couple in line in front of us at the rollercoaster commiting revolting PDA fan service. They are just doing it because they want to, and we have to see it regardless of it we want to sometimes or not.

A final thought -- I actually agree about the JBC situation a little and think you're onto something, but on the other hand, it's important to be open minded about creating spaces where platonic male friendship -- between queer people who are just friends but especially straight men who are friends -- can physically and emotionally affectionate in a way men in western society are not allowed. This deserves a longer, nuanced essay than this off handed comment, but you know. them's the breaks.

As for who I'd like to see Jeff act with... Bible as a romantic opposite, or some sort of buddy-heist two feral cats platonic situation with Apo 🤣 give us the porsche+kim we deserve

[syggwolf]

And after doing all of option three, I would often come back, and I would say, "I'm sorry, I have BPD."

Saying 'I'm sorry, I have BPD' with zero further explanation or consideration of how I hurt someone and how I recognize that I hurt them was basically a declaration, a promise, that I was going to do this again, and also that I couldn't do anything about it. I was telling those around me that I could not control myself, that they could not relax around me. When you do that, you are dehumanizing yourself into an emotionally unstable bomb. One of the first clinical descriptions I read for BPD(I was working my way up through the literature, oldest to newest, probably a bad idea with a subject as janky as mental health, but hey I like to be thorough and I went to school for psychology.) was a description in some older literature that literally compared a person suffering from BPD to, wait for it... P L U T O N I U M. Thanks for that, old timey psychiatrist, you ruined my life for six straight months. I internalized that. I believed I was slowly killing everyone I loved, radiating stress and pain out at them and driving them away, that the only safe place for them was ANYWHERE BUT ME. I became deeply clinically depressed and convinced that I should probably just kill myself because I BECAME my diagnosis and that diagnosis was basically, "You're a substance that poisons people by existing.".

Then I discovered DBT. The entire premise of DBT is that with help from others, and learning to reorient your thought process and interrupt it in a healthy way, you can avoid exploding by being able to be honest about how you feel without making other people feel like garbage. Yes, I uncontrollably feel IMMENSE pain over what seems like trivial things to other people, but no, I do not have to turn that pain into incredible displays of outwardly directed violence. I can instead turn that pain into an honest and in depth discussion of the real problem I'm having and try to seek comfort and reinforcement that I am cared about with people who understand my condition. In short, my emotions are intense and unyielding, but I can still get them validated by people who actually care about me and understand that I have this illness. So the trick here is that instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I have(and am) my mental illness and I can't do anything about it.", you instead say, "I'm sorry that I hurt you, your feelings are important and I do not want to hurt you, and I am taking responsibility for my actions. You are coming first in this situation because I trust you to reciprocate. I have a mental illness called BPD, sometimes it overwhelms me, this is what that mental illness does to me and why, now that you understand me better and I've put your feelings first, here's how we can work together to prevent it from happening again."

There is never a simple and easy conclusion to the question of whether a mental illness or other illness or disability should be mentioned as a mitigating or explanatory circumstance. There IS a very good chance that it DID and will continue to play a factor. Having said that, there is also no point in turning yourself into your diagnosis or maliciously shifting blame to the diagnosis to avoid apologizing if you've actively done something that harms another person. Apologizing, even with a mental illness, will not kill you and does not undermine the seriousness of your mental illness or the fact that you lost control. Apologizing lets you TAKE control BACK by admitting you're a human being who makes mistakes and can hold the power to rectify them. It's empowering. Obviously, BPD cannot be cured. It's a lifelong disability that has cost me many a potentially good friendship and many good experiences over my lifetime. I cannot exist without saying I have BPD, but I can honestly say that I am not controlled by BPD. I am a sufferer of BPD who wants to fight back. I've found others who are willing to listen to me and respect what BPD is, as long as I understand when I've messed up and genuinely do my best to make them whole about it when I do, and I could never have done that by just saying, "I'm sorry. I have BPD."

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[que-sais-je]

How To Be Alone

Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies, Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community

And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching..because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things Interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it

If your heart is bleeding make the best of it

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

[psychelis-new]

Hello lys!

So I see this dream where the 'theme' is recurring, the situations might differ. It's always a male showing interest in me. And the male is different more often than not in each dream. All the while I do nothing even though I know that the male is interested in me. I deliberately don't acknowledge that the person likes me. Sometimes the male is frustrated, sometimes they act obsessive and other times they try to drop more hints. And I see what they are doing but even so, I don't talk about it. I remember one even said "why are you denying your feelings for me?". I don't have any romantic feelings for anyone. And I know no one in my circle has any sort of feelings for me. I am 💯 sure that none of my friends feel like that about me.

Hello! Recurring dreams may suggest us we are avoiding to work on an issue/problem in our waking life, either because we don't acknowledge it or for any other reason (it's stressful, overwhelming...). To better understand the main message in these dreams, it's better to focus on one at time. Now let me be honest: having all these random different infos all at once it's confusing and doesn't help me help you. I cannot focus on anything specific as I would with one dream, and I can only give you random ideas/guesses to work on. Not to mention, it makes the process a bit more stressful for me. So please, if you rather have something more accurate/specific, send one sample dream and then add the possible other versions of it if you need.

Anyway, my guesses are: maybe you need to work on your relationships-related fears/(self)insecurities, like for example you may worry you won't be loved ever (maybe cause eg. you don't feel worthy enough or you somehow got used to not being loved as you wish to, it feels like it's something that goes back in time like to childhood) and so you also close off from love to start with, to protect yourself from the pain of being sure you cannot be loved. It's a valid self defense mechanism but if deep down you wish for something else (as it seems from the infos you wrote), it may not be worth to keep following it. Even if it feels dang scary to let go of this certainty you gained that makes you feel calm/balanced and in control. Even safe, I'd say (maybe you have experienced relationships crash easily and you don't want to feel that pain -again-).

You're so convinced nobody will ever find you lovable enough that you don't believe they may be in love with/interested in you in that sense, not even if they are dropping hints or telling you so. You may feel as if they're playing with you. As I was saying, it feels like, deep down, you need/want love but you just cannot accept it cause you feel it won't ever be real for you, you don't believe it will happen to you... and if it's really so, I am so sorry you have reached this point tbh. I hope you can realize that, even if there are bigger reasons behind this mental pattern of yours that seem to point to the fact that you are not lovable/you will never find the right person, you can and will be loved for real if you want and accept it. Not everyone will play with your feelings, and you'll be safe being vulnerable with someone one day. You can have feelings and survive also the pain of being occasionally unrequited or rejected (we're not made for everyone but it doesn't mean we're not made for anyone ever). I could be totally wrong ofc, but yeah...

Best of lucks and take care<3

[bloody-cupcakes]

If there was a yandere who was obsessed with Damon (tvd), how do you think he'd react? I personally believe he'd be a little flattered, at least at first

Tw: yandere/dark content, murder, slight gore/blood mention, manipulation, etc.

You're so right, anon. At first, I really don't think he'd recognize the danger. He'd just be thinking, "wow, someone's obsessed with me?" Especially if the yandere wasn't a vampire or hybrid, and they were just human, because if things got too out of hand a human can easily be killed.

And even if they were a supernatural being of some sorts, I still don't think he'd be too worried, because then he wouldn't have to hide who he really is to them. See, he's spent most of his life feeling like a monster, always being forced to play second fiddle to Stefan. So having someone who looks at him and sees none of those things, just utter perfection, it makes him feel appreciated. More than that, it makes him feel loved.

I don't think anybody would be able to convince him you're no good, especially not Stefan. He'd probably just view it as him trying to steal you away, and not as any actual warnings worth any further thought. Stefan was just jealous, that had to be it. There's no way any of what he was saying could be true...right?

I honestly think the only way he'd finally be able to see who you really were and what you were capable of is if dead bodies started popping up all over town (most of which he recognized as rival vampires or people who he just didn't get along with), all of them leading back to you. He'd probably be confused at first, thinking it's some sort of misunderstanding, and end up confronting you on the matter.

Once he found out that it was, in fact, you who was killing everybody, and it wasn't just a case of mistaken identity or merely accidents he'd be left with a choice to make: either help clean up after your messes so you wouldn't get caught, or kill you and risk losing the person who he loved the most.

"What are you doing?" You heard Damon ask as you cleaned the blood off the knife you'd used on someone earlier that day.

"Hi, honey!" You turned around, facing him with a big smile on his face. "How was your day?"

"You didn't answer my question." He narrowed his eyes at you, watching you set the knife down on the counter and grabbed a rag to dry your hands off with.

"I was just washing some dishes," you calmly replied, almost as though you didn't understand the gravity of the situation. "Is there a problem?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is," he said through gritted teeth. "Bodies have been popping up all over town, and I have reason to believe it's because of you."

"Oh? And what makes you think that?" You felt yourself get pushed up against the nearest wall, Damon's face inches away from yours.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know it was you."

"Oh, Dae," you said sympathetically, using the nickname only you got to call him by. "Don't you see? I did this for you, for us. Those people, they were competition. Threats, even. I did what I had to do in order to keep you safe." You brought your hand up to his face, lovingly stroking his cheek. "I did this for you, honey."

You could see he was cracking. You knew that no matter what you did, to him or others, he would never want to hurt you. He couldn't. You were the only person who ever truly loved him. You made him feel special, like he deserved the world.

His mind was completely blank. He didn't know what to say. "I-"

Noticing he was at a loss for words, you pressed a gentle yet passionate kiss to his lips. He kissed you back, just like you knew he would.

"Next time I kill someone, I'll make sure to get you first so all that blood won't go to waste," you promised him, and you knew from the way he nodded obediently that you'd successfully stolen his heart.

~

[idv-hc-center]

yandere naib skin man in red and yandere victor skin The Embrace pls?

actually i tried to do some research on the embrace but its lore is so confusing and uhhh

warnings: yandere behavior, kidnaping, murder, manipulation

Man in red

Honestly, he can't believe someone has made him feel the way you do

and he can even feel ashamed because of that

but it doesn't stop him from obsessing over you

He feels like it's a miracle he found someone like you, and you are destined to be together

and if you don't see it, he will help you see it

Mostly by kidnapping you and forcing you to live with him

He has the power to do that, and he won't hesitate to do so

He truly can't understand why are you not delighted he fell for you

Why wouldn't you want to be desired by someone with so much power like him?

He wouldn't hesitate from killing anyone who he thinks is way too close to you

It might be just a servant that was supposed to take care of you and was chosen by Naib

Anything could make him snap and consequently end up in someone's death

He won't admit he feels threatened by a common servant though

He will fabricate this story how he caught that servant spying on you and how they might be an enemy

Anything to make the killing of them justified both in the eyes of the public and yours

He will manipulate you, saying how you should be grateful he keeps you safe and how he gave you an opportunity for a better life!

Anyone here would give anything to be in your position, and you're being ungrateful

But of course, he would give you a chance to redeem yourself

You just have to become his forever

The thing you don't know is that you are already his, and he will ignore any of your protests

The Embrace

This version of Victor would be more willing to kill for you

but he would use it mostly as a last resort

He would do anything in his power to make you love him

He would love-bomb you and convince you, you are destined to be together

He met so many people during his life, but only you were able to make him feel like that

Over time he would get even more obsessed with you

With every day, his obsession would grow

He would literally worship you and think of anything you touch as sacred

With his obsession, his way of thinking about murder would change drastically

Now he wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who came between the two of you

Why would he let some ordinary folk come between you? It's easier when they are gone

With his obsession, his jealousy would also grow drastically

He wouldn't let you talk with anyone besides him or overall spend time with anyone other than him

You are so perfect anyone who would lay their eyes on you could fall in love with you

and he can't let that happen

He only took care of some problems! It's easier like that, so why are you so sad?

They didn't deserve you anyway! And even after their death they still make you sad...

That only shows how terrible they were for you

His love-bombing would never stop even if you felt overwhelmed by it

and after some time in complete isolation, you would actually believe him that he is the best match for you

He is the only person that cares about you at this moment

Mostly because everyone else who did got murdered by him, but he won't let you think about it this way

[thunderheadfred]

💥Bakugou HC's💥

Aged-up pro hero Katsuki for all of these. Some NSFW beneath the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

He’s scary good at everything he tries. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. It’s infuriating. Has zero patience when other people can’t immediately master a skill. Never let him teach you anything. Not that he’d offer, nerd.

He WILL offer, though. A lot. He can’t believe you still can’t Do That Thing. Tsh. Like THIS. You're gonna hurt yourself, Dummy.

But hold on. Of course you have unique skills of your own. You work hard to improve yourself. Trust me, he's the first person to notice. He doesn't praise anyone lightly, so when he raises his eyebrows and whispers he's impressed, your heart will go thermonuclear.

Perfect spelling and fully punctuated texts. Never uses abbreviations. Employs a grand total of four emojis, all of them angry faces. Constantly leaves you on read. He's busy, dammit.

Doesn’t smile or laugh in public (except sarcastically). His real smile is a crooked, fragile thing. Never make him feel self-conscious about it, or you might not see it again for weeks.

He does not talk about his private life to the press. Ever. Will K.O. rookie reporters who can't keep their big mouths shut.

HOweVER: he's intensely kind to his fans. There is a whole photographic sub-genre of little girls in cosplay hugging Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight like he's a Disney Princess.

Too smart for his own good. Emotionally hyper-vigilant. Overthinks every interaction to hell and back. Will act like he's not listening but actually hears every single word in a ten-block radius.

INSECURE AF. 110% convinced he will never be good enough. Terrified of his loved ones leaving him behind. Does he do anything to assuage his fears? Like... talk to anyone about it? Hell no. That would require admitting he has fears to begin with.

Seeing people upset makes him upset, especially if he doesn't know how to fix it.

The epitome of being mean because he cares. He genuinely does not seem to comprehend that monosyllabic grunts and lopsided shrugs are not actually that comforting.

Because he was such a brat growing up, he wants to make up for it now. Sort of. In his own way. Look, he's trying, okay?

He smells - so - good. Obscenely good. He doesn't wear cologne; are you joking? There's the burnt-sugar caramel candy smell of his quirk, for starters. And since he sweats deadly ammunition, he showers and wipes himself down almost constantly. He always smells clean. Like a fucking meadow.

Never got that growth spurt he was hoping for. He’s a short man - not even THAT short - but he has a Napoleon complex anyway. If you’re taller than him, the collars of your shirts will all be stretched out. He’s constantly dragging you down to his level. He will assert himself all the fucking time; the pissing contest is never-ending. Don’t wear tall shoes unless you want him to drag you around on a leash. If you’re shorter than him, that’s good. That’s very good. He likes that.

He’s an incredible cook, but everything he makes is a nuclear fire challenge. Adapt or starve.

- - - - -

Dating

Makes artisanal, nutritionally flawless bento lunches for both of you. When people assume his S.O. makes them, he gets fucking pissed. Damn right your co-workers are jealous of my cooking.

Your pet name is Dummy. Don’t like it? Fine. You can be dumbass.

There will be zero PDA in this relationship. His hands are shoved so deep in his pockets you can’t even try.

Intensely private with the press. But with his friends, he will brag about you nonstop. Bakugou Katsuki has the most talented and attractive and intelligent S.O., and anyone who doesn't recognize that is blind. Were you assholes even listening?

A mutual buddy definitely recorded one of these drunken brag-rants and sent it to you for safekeeping. Do not let Katsuki find out about it, unless you enjoy having an ash pile for a phone.

Gets jealous about everything, at least at the start. He calms down eventually. Kinda. He stops saying shit to you about it, anyway, because he learns to trust you. But anyone who so much as looks at you in a too-friendly manner will get the death stare of a lifetime.

He’ll throw all kinds of temper tantrums and the two of you will argue about every tiny fucking thing. He’ll scream out car windows, he’ll ball up his shirt and gnash on it. But he will never raise his voice at you. He’d rather die than make you feel unsafe.

Honestly, the constant bickering is really just... uhh... passionate communication. Eventually you both hash out the important things. You'll learn how to step around his landmines and actually make your points, and he'll learn to open up. A little.

Once you meet his mom, Katsuki starts to make a lot more sense. His family just... emotes like that. Eventually, you and his dad form a spousal support group consisting of exactly two lifetime members. He teaches you the Bakugou family semaphore you need to survive a long-term relationship.

Katsuki can dish it out but absolutely cannot take it. The only person who can level with him about serious issues without explosive fallout is his dad. Or, on a lucky day, Kirishima.

If you give him a legitimate criticism (even gently!) he will take it about as gracefully as a knife to the gut, because it confirms everything he hates about himself.

To your never-ending shock, you’ve made him cry. Yes, CRY! You monster! More than once! His lip gets all *trembly* and his eyes get all *watery* and all you want to do is hug him, but. No. He’ll storm out and wander around for a few hours before coming back with the problem perfectly solved.

He always takes your advice to heart. No, he will NOT talk about it, stop asking.

Gets mad if you don’t snuggle him on the regular. Will drag you into his lap with a pissy little grunt. There might be two seats on this couch but you will not be needing both of them.

Takes pictures of you while you sleep.

Takes even more pictures of you when you're awake but think he's out of the room.

He looks at all these pictures when he's away on high-stakes jobs. He gets all bleary eyed and sleeps in a salty puddle without you. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

You don’t have to meet him at the door or anything, but when he says “I’m home,” you’d better answer fast. If he doesn’t know your precise location in 0.05 seconds, he will assume you’ve been kidnapped. He never checks the fridge for notes. Never assumes you've gone down to the konbini for a snack. No, it’s kidnapping every time.

A terrrrrrible bed partner. He goes to bed at senior citizen hours and will never fuck you after sundown. He snores SO loud. Runs hot and sweats through the sheets. Slaps and elbows you in his sleep and aggressively spoons you with his loud, sweaty body. You WILL want to suffocate him. Separate bedrooms aren’t such a horrible idea......

BUT HANG ON, because in the morning he transforms into an honest-to-god angel. He's half awake, his guard is non-existent. Morning Katsuki is a doting kissy-faced marshmallow man.

If you can wake up before the ass-crack of dawn, he will pamper the fuck out of you. You are royalty for one (1) hour only, and he is your bleary-eyed slave. You want a cuddlefuck? You got it. Hugs? Kisses? Take as many as you need. You want a perfect, fluffy, NON-SPICY omelette with a heart drawn in ketchup? Here it is, gorgeous.

Then he gets in the shower and the spell is broken.

- - - - -

💥bang BANG💥

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: this here is an ASS. MAN. He'll spank you with his quirk; doesn’t matter if you’ve been good or bad. Wants to see you wince when you sit down later.

Likes pounding you face down with a vice grip on your waist.

Unfortunately, even with all that said... he doesn't exactly have the feral beast sex drive you were expecting. He’s married to his work and has the fuddy-duddy habits of a once and future valedictorian. Only fucks you when he has the time and energy to fully dedicate himself to it.

But ohhhh. Shit. When it's time? It's TIME. The man will rush for nothing. Stamina for days. Making you cum as many times as possible is a point of pride. Yeah, you passed out once.

You’re gonna need those days off when he’s done with you.

That dick THICC.

Sends unsolicited dick pics. Only after you’ve been dating a good long while - he doesn't show that shit to just anyone. But yeah, don’t check your phone at work. He won't cum without you; those pictures and videos are time bombs. You better get home. Now.

Physically dominant as FUCK, but won’t verbally degrade you unless you ask. Well, let’s be honest. Unless you beg.

Praise him and reap the rewards. A long hard ego stroking will get him off more than touching his cock ever will.

Will grab your hair and fuck your throat. Will also stop immediately if you need him to.

The two of you have safe words and gestures. Even for vanilla stuff. He’s paranoid about scaring or hurting you. He insisted you both sign a color-coded ‘love contract’ that he meticulously formatted in a word processor. When you gave him guff about it, his blush was the darkest crimson you’d ever seen.

Coin-flip: he will sometimes be unbelievably gentle in bed. Doting and affectionate, taking perfect care of you. Like, it’s baffling. There’s no warning, the switch just flips. When you want him to be extra-rough and mean, he’ll sweetly worship you instead. For hours.

Bonus: he likes being penetrated. But of course he’s got a complex about that too. Super intense power bottom. You will never fuck him hard enough. He’d like to see you try. Hit his prostate just right and he might literally explode.

You'll live happily ever after but he will say he loves you out loud exactly once. Maybe. If you're lucky. And you're both about to die.

[punkpandapatrixk]

April Astro Report for 🐞🐍⛲🐝ALL SIGNS

With the elements/signs of the zodiac, you can freely use your Sun, Moon, Rising/Ascendant, or even your Stellium (❗️)

[Back to Masterlist]

-I apologise for being so behind on this one, but I've extended the energy to be resonant until the end of the Taurus season~ Hope you find something useful here.-

This April feels very sky blue, and the fact it's leading to Taurus season feels like goal-setting is a major theme. A very free goal-setting, to be precise. It's because April starts with a New Moon in Aries! Deciding that this is your Life and that any goal-setting must abide by the highest level of authenticity. No more compromising our wellbeing, no more comforting other's ego, and no more conforming to existing conventions/standards.

You are the pharmacist of the medicine for your own wellbeing.

Goal-Setting for 🐞Fire Signs

🐏Aries - 2 of Cups & Wishes

Keep in mind that balance is key this season. We are talking balance in whatever ways it resonates and applies to your individual situation. Is it balance between your mental and physical health? Balance in your interpersonal (you and others) relationships? Balance in intrapersonal (you and yourself) relationships? Balance between work and play?

For some people, we could also be talking about balance between your pace and other people's demand of your speed. This one could prove rather challenging, professionally. Whenever in doubt, go back to the intro of this reading. See, you are strong and capable, but you also have your limits and not everything is within your control.

If you can accept this and learn to communicate your limitations/challenges in a diplomatic way, you will grow and eventually become more empowered in a healthy way. Try to focus on this balance this season until you are right on track towards your very own, very personal wish fulfilment. The world is your oyster, so don't let others decide your pace!

🦁Leo - IX The Hermit Rx & Ambition

Get it all out of the closet, baby~! You've got ambitions and you aren't shy about it! So you should be proud in your unconventional ideas and daredevil approach to realising/manifesting your desires. You never know who you get to inspire by this fire. However, I'm sensing some of you haven't yet done enough research on your goals. This season, dedicate yourself to studies and make real plans so when you do talk about your dreams and goals, you sound convincing😉

I think your problem, sometimes, is that you're afraid of being alone with your thoughts. I think at times (or just right now), your own thoughts tend to confuse you a lot because you haven't managed to sort them out. You hate the messiness of it all and so you tend to want to walk away from facing the mindless chatter in your head. I think right now you're in need of real solitude that would allow you to manage the mess in your head (or even in your heart). If you've got the money, take a mini-break, alone.

Real genius ideas tend to pop up when we're relaxed, believe it or not. Maybe that explains shower ideas or toilet ideas LMAO At any rate, don't be afraid. You need a clear map if you want to arrive at your goals efficiently and safely. You already know that. You don't even need any advice. You just need to be brave to face yourself, maybe even your demons, or whatever else you've got in your closet.

🎠Sagittarius - XXI The World & Integrity

Wow... you're literally transforming. Like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. You've been in that cocoon period for a while now... a long fucking while. And now you're breaking free to create something new. This something new is also quite literally a new world for yourself. Suddenly, man, you're God! And you know it and you aren't afraid to make manifest whatever the fuck you want. You've got the omnipotent power within you.

Whatever you dream, think, envision, naturally pours down into the physical realm and become your permanent reality. Dudes and duderinos, are you using subliminals to bypass the Law of Creation? You're mega-amazing at this point and I think you're going to change the extended world for real. This is only the beginning. This Taurus season, it's your playing with the lesser aspects of your manifestation board (if you have one). Soon enough, you'll be changing the world for even other people.

I'm sensing a variety of focus for different people: family, personal freedom, finances, academic study, personal glow-up, romance, etc, etc. This season, everything is about you, you, and you. The Universe is blessing you big time and please have a good time. Try to maintain a healthy dose of self-love and confidence tho. You can do and be whatever you want, just try not to be a dick about it LMAO

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻❤️👻

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Goal-Setting for 🐍Earth Signs

🐂Taurus - 4 of Cups Rx & Energy

Wow, this energy is wonderful. This is your season, after all. You're coming out of a lethargic period and feel at your best in many different scenarios. Like, for once, you've finally decided on what YOU truly want. You're not allowing other people to decide your path, not even your method! You're the boss now and you're making sure you're protecting your sovereignty.

I'm seeing you've been in the planning process for quite a while, which gave you the courage you now have. You've become confident and this is the most important thing—because now you're genuinely confident in your own ideas instead of relying on other people's approval. -Such a funny dichotomy because I know you Taureans are typically stubborn LMAO-

All in all, this is just a great season for you. This is a season where the gate towards actual emotional gratification opens for you. Well, because you've finally stopped being stubborn and decided to change something significant in the way you work/live/study/etc. You've truly made that decision to open the door yourself, so, major congrats~! Here's just the beginning of a more empowered you!

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo - Knight of Swords & Luck

One affirmation comes to mind as I'm reading your energy: I have the energy to do everything I want—everything that matters to my happiness. That sounds really powerful, and above all, self-affirming. This season is all about you prioritising only things/endeavours that make you feel good as you engage in them. I think you already know what I mean.

This is the season you can really decide that you're not gonna waste your time and energy on hopeless causes. They could be people, situations, relationship dynamics, etc. If it's hopeless, it must die, and you're not afraid of losing worthless things anymore. You've got the Knight of Swords ready to assist you in cutting aetheric or emotional cords of attachment with things that cause you sadness... and in some cases, bad luck.

Plan your future ahead in as much detail as you find fitting to your most perfect self-concept. You are the star, you are the mega-capable genius, and above all, you are going to be happy and fulfilled no matter how much work you do. You are hard-working and you do that because you care. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer.

🐐Capricorn - Knight of Pentacles Rx & Protection

Okay, this is gonna sound so funny, but... uhm... relax, hon? Like your Spirit Guides are trying to convince you that even when you're taking a break, you're so protected that everything is still gonna turn out okay. Why live under so much stress when you can choose to live in easy mode by the protection of your Higher Self? You just need to come into agreement with that first.

Remember that your reality, essentially, is an agreement between you and the Cosmos. As much as you believe that life must be hard work lest everything falls apart, so shall you get that. So this season, weirdly enough, is time for you to rethink/rearrange the concept of your reality within your subconscious mind. You need to start rearranging your priorities and then actively changing your behaviours/habits for the new agreement to take effect.

If you're someone who has way too much clutter in your mind, try inhaling scents like lavender, vanilla, patchouli, green tea, peppermint, and the like. These essential oils help with calming your nervous system, allowing you to think more clearly. If you must work hard with rearranging the content of your brain, do so when your nervous system is relaxed. Of course, you can try other methods beside using EOs. Good luck~ You're protected!

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻💚👻

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Goal-Setting for ⛲Air Signs

👯Gemini - 10 of Cups Rx & Love

Uh... I think this season you could use some Love, hon. More like, you may need to spend moments of deep thinking, pondering what aspect of your life is lacking love. More like, in what ways are you not loving enough of yourself? Because I'm seeing this lack of appreciation from yourself is being translated in your external reality as a lack of appreciation from the people you are close with.

Perhaps it's family for some of you, for the rest, it's people you deeply care about that you think of them as family. But I'm seeing you're not feeling reciprocated enough. You're giving a lot, but others shrug it off. I think it's because you're not exactly pure or empowered in the way you cling to these people. Something needs to change, my friend.

This season is all about your making a different choice when it comes to your relationships, because you want to be happy now. You want to be spiritually fulfilled rather than just intellectually, mentally, emotionally. If this resonates with you on a work/career level, the same message still applies. Take your time. You've got this~

⚖️Libra - 6 of Cups Rx & Fertility

Are you feeling nostalgic? Some peeps are feeling nostalgic for lovely reasons, but some of you are also haunted by something bad that happened in the past. At any rate, there's a scent of regret lingering in the air. You're feeling like you could've done better, or that you should've done better. Hey, it's alright—don't beat yourself up too much. You did the best you could with what you knew, anyway.

You've come a long way and here's new soil upon which you can freely sow new seeds. Sadness, loss, and regrets are a natural part of growing up so there's no need to feel like you have to punish yourself for whatever transpired less than ideal. Rather than wasting your energy on such poignancy, try to focus more on the new endeavours you've now got in store. The soil is so fertile you can literally plant anything and it'll bloom beautifully, healthily.

If you must look into the past, do so to see how far you've come, how much you've grown. Surely there will come a chance to reunite with loved ones, or for some of you, a chance to make peace with the past.

🏺Aquarius - Knight of Wands & Opulence

Are you taking care of your health? Of what you eat? This season, there's a strong message about strengthening your Sacral chakra. This is the orange-coloured chakra that is the seat of life's pleasures and enjoyment. This chakra also governs sex drive and creativity. It is important right now that you be selective with whatever you consume so as to maintain the balance/health of this chakra. With consumption, this also includes entertainment/information/anything your mind can consume.

Be lighthearted, and a bit daredevil if you could afford being so. You may surprise yourself with just how well you can handle unexpected situations. Even good fun can be had — and you're sort of in a desperate need of that. I think you've been too serious lately. Or like, there are external circumstances that have taken away light and joy from your life. Now you just have to decide if you're gonna take back control. Are you at the wheel? Please make sure you are!

There's a green apple in your card, and this symbolises friendship and wisdom. I think you know what that means for you personally. You've been through quite a bit when it comes to fake friends, fake family, fake whatever, and they've been stunting your growth for quite a while. Well, all bad things eventually need to end and if you're going to decide for yourself, I hope you decide today that the cycle ends right now.

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻💙👻

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Goal-Setting for 🐝Water Signs

🦀Cancer - 3 of Pentacles Rx & Healing

It seems pretty clear you need to be setting your goals without the influence of other people—whether or not they are directly involved in the process (or achievement) of your goals. The reason for this mainly has to do with your sense of independence—in a manner of speaking, your Soul is seeking liberation. You’d do well to heed this urging and adjust your priorities accordingly.

The world is a complex matrix of societal demands and selfish expectations, and the bad news is, you’re really quite attuned to all of that so you tend to absorb other people’s ideas and value systems as your own. Sounds like it sucks, but trust me, you’re doing a lot better than most Pisces-dominant peeps LMAO

This season, you’d do well to take a step back and deliberately spend some time to meditate—whatever kind of meditation works for you, my friend. Heal your mind (and heart), clear the fog, and get clear about your own wants, needs and wishes. You are free like that, if only you’d agree to that. This season, you can throw away the old book scribbled with old narrations that no longer serve you. You can do this~

🦂Scorpio - Page of Pentacles & Patience

You’re at the beginning stages of a very important goal-setting, or achievement. There’s a massive undertaking you’re excited about, so you’re taking your good time studying, preparing, collecting data, planning, and so on. There isn’t much to be said, honestly, you’re doing magnificently well! But with the Patience card here, the only advice is pretty clear.

Sometimes, we meet setbacks on the path towards great achievements. It’s alright, don’t be afraid, it’s all part of the learning process. Keep a positive mindset and believe that everything works out in your favour—even when it rains, it rains for good reasons. Like, rain is also important for nourishing your plants—you get the picture~

Honestly, I’m seeing you’re about to change your Life big time. And you’re busy feeling excited about all of these changes; I don’t even think you need this reading hahah Just know that everything will turn out amazing. If you struggle with keeping a positive mindset, try writing down positive affirmations that can help you with that~ -The Mind Magick Transmutation explains more on this.-

🎏Pisces - Ace of Cups & Enchantment

I’d suggest you take in the view of the blue sky this season. It’s almost like, the whole world suddenly shines just for you. The sky is blue, the air is crisp, and your emotional stability is only getting stronger and more solid. You must’ve done something real amazing to carry yourself up to here. Here’s a new beginning and you’re feeling good.

This would be a great time to finally put in all that work into your plans, dreams, manifestation board, what have you. Don’t be alarmed, but… being Pisces-dominant means that your moods and emotional stability are unpredictable at best. This doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, but that’s for another time.

Now that you’re feeling great, put in a lot of your energy and focus to manifesting your dream life. Don’t be in a rush tho. Relax and know that everything works out in divine timing. When you can work, you work. When you need rest and recuperation, you do just that. Pisces peeps work with energy, not human-designed time.

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[Back to Masterlist]

[technowoah]

Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2

You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!

- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!

- part 1 is here!

- masterlist!

To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.

After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.

It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.

There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.

You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.

New things were created from the end of a old one.

It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him

"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"

"Tommy what are you talking about?!"

"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."

Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.

You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.

"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"

He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.

"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.

"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.

"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.

Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.

"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.

"Hi I'm ghostbur!"

"I'm y/n." You said lowly.

You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.

"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.

"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"

"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.

"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.

"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.

"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"

"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.

"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"

You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.

"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.

The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.

Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.

Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.

In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.

Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.

The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.

Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.

Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.

You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.

"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.

"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.

"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."

Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."

"What?"

"Tubbo?!"

"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"

Oh thank goodness.

"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.

"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"

Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.

"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.

Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."

Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.

You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.

The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?

Was Technoblade right?

The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.

Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?

You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.

Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.

"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.

"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.

"Good!" He cheerfully said.

"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.

"Of course." He smiled.

You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."

"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.

"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."

"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.

"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"

"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"

Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.

"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.

"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.

"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.

A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.

"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.

"Ghostbur I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.

"Why not?"

You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.

"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.

Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.

You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.

The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.

"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.

You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.

"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.

"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.

"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.

You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.

You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.

"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"

"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."

"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.

"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"

"Oh! Techno! Hi!"

Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.

"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.

"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.

"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.

You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."

"Sounds stupid."

"Yeah it is. And they want you."

Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"

You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.

"They want to kill you Technoblade."

He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.

"You better not be screwing with me."

"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.

"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"

"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.

"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."

You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.

You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.

"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.

"Were you two leading them to my house?!"

"No."

"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.

"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.

"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."

"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?

"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"

"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.

"Then to hell with them!"

You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.

"Y/n?!"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.

"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.

"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.

"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.

"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.

"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.

"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.

"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.

"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.

Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."

"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.

The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.

"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."

You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.

There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.

"Techno!"

"Hey!"

"He's running!"

The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.

"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.

"There's no other way."

"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.

"There's no other way!"

Fuck

"I CHOSE BLOOD!"

A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.

"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.

"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.

"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"

Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.

"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.

"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.

The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.

The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.

You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.

"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."

"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.

"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.

"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.

Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.

"I see." You sighed.

Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.

"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.

"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.

"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.

You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.

"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.

You unfolded it and began to read.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

- 𝘋

"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.

"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"

"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."

Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"

You nodded and continued to listen to him.

"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.

"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.

"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"

"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.

You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.

"Hello."

"Hello Dream."

"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.

"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.

You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.

You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.

Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.

You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"

You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.

"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.

"Not really. What about you?"

"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."

"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"

"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"

"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."

Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.

A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.

"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.

"I don't know-"

"Dont bullshit me!"

"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.

You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.

Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.

You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.

[wonhosbuttflower]

Hurts Like Hell

Pairing: Demon Chan x Human Reader (fem)

Genre: Demon AU; Fluff; Light Angst; starts as Suggestive and ends with Smut; “Fuckbuddies/Friends with benefits to lovers”.

Words: 6,1k

Summary:  You (human) and Chan (demon) are “friends with benefits"/”fuck buddies” and you both have other casual sexual partners, but you only have a true emotional bond with each other. Admitting to it is a different story though...

Warnings/Details: open relationship (context/mention); promiscuity (mention); cursing/offensive language; possessiveness; dry humping and choking (blink and you’ll miss it); unprotected sex (please wrap it up, guys, this is NOT a good example, practice safe sex, use a condom); lots and lots of ‘I love you’; cringey moments.

Note: Chan is an incubus, a sex demon blessed with lust, one of the seven deadly sins. The reader is human, but she has been blessed by a demon at birth, in this case, Lucifer. He blessed her with pride, another deadly sin, corrupting her soul with it but making her stronger than “normal” humans. Unlike humans, demons don’t have souls, but they have “auras”, which are their demonic personal essences.

Y/N – your name / Y/M/N – your middle name (if you have one) / Y/L/N – your last name

..................................................................................

He sits comfortably on the black armchair in the bedroom while you're on top of him, sitting facing him with your legs swinging over the edge. The make out session had started out hot and heavy, but it was turning into a softer and tamer one as time went by. What had started passionate and impatient had turned into an intimate moment of pure affection between you two. Eventually, you rest your face on his shoulder, taking in his scent as he holds you firmly in a warm hug. You both close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of simply being together. After about a minute, which seems like hours, he breaks the silence in the room.

'Can we just stay like this forever?', he asks in a low voice as he plants a playful kiss on your nose, which makes you scrunch before showing him a smile.

'Hmm, excuse me, who are you and have you done to Chan?', you let out jokingly without opening your eyes.

'What? This is nice.', he defends himself. You look up at him.

'Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love doing fun things with you, baby… It’s my favorite activity.’, he smirks. ‘But we always do that… I’m just saying, it’s nice to have a moment like this every now and then, to relax and just… I don’t know, to just be with you, doing absolutely nothing.’, he adds, grabbing your hand that was touching him and intertwining his fingers with yours.

'Yeah, it is, actually. But wouldn't you rather do other things forever? Like, fun things… Because I can think of a few things for us to do.’, you say, suggestively, slipping your hand under the fabric of his t-shirt to feel his abs.

‘Okay, now I’m officially worried. Since when would you choose to “do absolutely nothing” rather than having sex with the hottest girl in town?’, you joke.

‘Well, I get to be with you either way, so I win.’, he smiles and gives you a soft kiss. ‘What’s wrong with just staying like this for a while? You like it too, don’t even try to deny it.’

‘Sure, I like it… But you’re acting weird today. Actually, scratch that… You’ve been acting weird lately. So, what’s that about, what’s going on?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I don’t know, we just… You’ve just been really… hmm, nice, I guess. Like, you’ve been… sweet.’, you explain, making him chuckle.

‘Isn’t that a good thing? Why do you sound like you’re complaining? Do you not like it when I’m nice?’

‘I don’t know… I mean, I do, but it’s weird. I feel like something’s changing, and I don’t understand it. Sometimes I think you’re avoiding me or something. And now you’re passing on sex for a cute hug? You have to admit that’s kind of suspicious. Like, it’s fine, if you don’t want to do this, we…’

‘It’s not that, princess, I promise you.’, he cuts you off before you can finish.

‘Then, what’s the problem?’, you ask, letting go of his hand and rising up from where you laid against his chest to face him, hooking your arms around his neck for support.

‘I just… I have to be more cautious around you. You’re dangerous.’

‘What? What are you talking about? You’re a demon, for fuck’s sake. And I'm the dangerous one?’, you let out confused. He smiles, amused.

‘It’s too addicting… It’s like my own personal drug. And if I’m not careful, I might actually physically get hooked on it… I might get hooked on you.’, he says as he kisses your shoulder, then your neck, and finally, your lips. ‘Hell, I’m not entirely sure I am not already addicted. This is getting out of control, I’m starting to crave you… In a very literal way. And if this goes on much longer, that’s it, I’ll always keep coming back for more… and more… I won’t be able to stop myself. You won’t be able stop me.’, he finishes, looking at you with a mix of intense desire and deep fondness.

‘Your voice…’, he softly grabs your neck.

‘Your taste…’, he rubs his thumb through your lips, and you can’t help but gently suck on it for half a second before he continues.

‘Your scent…’, he leans forward to breathe in against your collar bone.

‘Your body…’, his hands travel from your shoulder blades down your back and stop to slap your ass playfully before resting on your hips.

You drink in his words as if you need them to survive. You have never felt so wanted, so adored, so… loved. You want to tell him you wouldn’t stop him, because the truth is that you’re already gone… You are already hooked on him, you need him. But the growing stinging inside you quickly lets you know you can’t simply say that, so you default to flirting to try distracting him.

‘You’re assuming I would want to stop you. But why would I want to do that? I’m fucking an incubus, I’m having way too much fun to end it.’, you tell him with a smirk but a pinch in your chest for not being able to tell him what he means to you.

‘I’m serious.’, he tells you, half confused, half frustrated.

‘So am I.’, you lie.

‘No, Y/N, I mean it. I feel like I’m going crazy, I don’t know what to do anymore… Or what to think. I never know what you feel, what you want.’, his eyes pleading.

‘You do know. You just want to hear it out loud.’, you say as you get off the armchair, feeling uneasy with the conversation.

‘Then why won’t you say it?’, he questions, his voice getting higher, letting his impatience and irritation show.

‘I can’t.’, you simply tell him, walking away from him and towards the bed.

‘Of course you can! You just don’t want to.’, he shoots, getting up himself and walking behind you.

‘That’s not it. I just… I can’t say it, Chan… Not yet.’, you turn to face him. ‘But you’re not an idiot, you know exactly how I feel about you.’

‘Why don’t you just admit it, then?’, he almost begs, grabbing your arms anxiously.

‘Because I’m scared! Okay?’, you shout nervously, getting out of his hold and taking a step back. ‘Because the thought of telling you how I truly feel only to have you play with my emotions is terrifying. Because you have way too much power over me, and I’ve never…’, you take a short pause, as is you’re trying to fight your own thoughts. ‘I’ve never felt so powerless in my life. So, I keep convincing myself that if I don’t actually say the words, then it isn’t real… As if it isn’t real, then it can’t hurt me.’, you stop again, looking visibly uncomfortable as you reach to touch the crook of your neck in a soothing way. ‘Because I don’t think I could take getting hurt by you, I think I’d feel… undone.’, you pause once more.

You reach down to your chest, then your stomach, then your chest again, your face scrunched up as if you’re in pain. Chan doesn’t know it yet, but you are actually hurting… He assumes you’re just being dramatic because you don’t want to look weak by being vulnerable with him, but the truth is you are in an ever-growing agony. You take a deep breath before continuing.

‘And mostly because you’re a demon of lust and sexual desire. So, what reason do I have to believe that this…’, you gesture with your hand between the two of you. ‘Us…’, a distressed groan escapes your lips at the mention of the word, but you press on. ‘That this is anything more than… argh… than your many… usual… conquests?’, you let out between gasps, holding your neck again, as if you’re having trouble breathing in the midst of a panic attack. But this is something else entirely, it’s not panic… it’s deeper and more intense, it’s despair.

‘And by the way, I know I’m not a demon, but I was still blessed by one… You seem to forget that.’, you add, a bit more composed now. ‘I am a literal embodiment of pride… So, admitting all of this shit I just said?… Yeah, this feels like literal torture to me.’, you genuinely explain, even though he assumes you mean the word “literal” as a figure of speech. You did not. Still, he has so much he wants to say.

‘Y/N… I could never hurt you like that.’, he lets out in almost a whisper, as if he’s disappointed that you would think he could do that to you.

He reaches for your hand and makes you let go of your own neck, which he notices is already marked by how desperately you tugged at the skin. Your hands drop down and because you don’t know what to do with them, you just start fidgeting around with your fingers and staring at them to avoid looking him in the eye. He keeps talking though, this time in a normal volume.

‘It’s just… You’re not the only one that’s scared, you know? This is all new to me. You said it yourself, I’m a lust demon, an incubus, all I’ve ever known is that… it’s desire and passion, fantasy and sex… It’s lust and infatuation. That’s what all of my relationships have ever been, it’s all I’ve ever felt.’, he explains. His hand moves to your jaw and he makes you look up at him. ‘But that changed when I met you.’, he tells you softly but with a serious expression. He gently let’s go of your face before he proceeds talking. ‘I think it’s different this time, you're different. You make me feel different. You’ve never been just another conquest, you’re so much more than that. This…Us…’, he takes one of your hands and presses it against his chest. ‘This is real… It’s very real. And it’s more than just sex, it’s more than infatuation. I actually care about you and that’s new to me.’, he softly kisses the back of your hand before letting go of it and taking a step back.

You miss the contact as he moves away. You miss the heat radiating from his body and you miss his sweet scent around you.

‘But seriously, I just tried to tell you how I feel, I opened myself up and you just teased me about it. So, like, can you really blame me for being hesitant?’, he asks. Your mouth opens slightly as if you’re about to say something, but no sound comes out, so he keeps going instead. Your mind is racing with everything you want to tell him. ‘I’m more afraid of losing you than anything else in this world, and that makes me feel powerless too. I’ve never felt like this and that’s scary. I… I think you like me too, but how can I not be insecure if I’m the only one confessing?’, he protests, growing exasperated.

He’s right, and you know he’s right. You want to speak but the raging sting in your chest warns you against it.

‘You keep refusing to tell me how you feel, so how should I feel confident to admit it myself? I need to know I’m not alone in this, because… I don’t think I can keep doing this if you don’t feel the same. It’s too much.’, he adds, his voice going lower than ever, as if all the torment in the world is dragging it down.

All you want is to respond to his plea, to tell him how much you want him, how much he means to you… But you can’t.

‘Please don’t do this right now.’, it’s your time to plead now, your voice nothing but a faint ghost as you look down at the ground to try to distract yourself from the pain. ‘Chan, please… Please don’t make me say it first.’, you beg, one hand moving to scratch your chest while the other carelessly tugs at the hair behind your ear. Your discomfort is too apparent, but his anger takes the best of him in the moment.

‘Why is it so hard for you to say it?!’, he shouts, frustrated. ‘I know you’re proud, but fuck, it’s not like it’s going to kill you to admit it! It’s hard for me to admit too, you know? But I’m still trying! I just need to hear it. I just need to know you feel the same. If you just admit it, then…’, he says, but you cut him off halfway as your own rage takes over.

‘You think I don't want to?!’, you yell angrily. Your eyes start tearing up as the pain inside grows exponentially stronger. ‘I want to, believe me! But I…’, your sentence gets cuts off by an uncomfortable groan. ‘It fucking hurts.’, you say, crouching slightly over yourself as you grab your stomach, clearly struggling with the pain. ‘I do- argh!… I like you!’, you manage to say before you reach for your own neck and almost try to claw your way inside the flesh, trying to get some kind of relief. It feels like you’re burning from the inside out.

‘Wha- What’s going on?’, he lets out in shock at the scene.

‘It hurts! It hurts!’, you cry out, feeling like your whole body is on fire, like your blood is literally boiling inside you, trying to burn its way out. You’re scratching yourself so hard that blood starts showing up all around your neck and chest and shoulders, making Chan finally understand you were serious when you said it felt like torture. He jumps to grab your hands, trying to stop you from clawing your way into your skin.

‘Stop! Y/N, please… What are you doing?! You’ll hurt yourself! Just stop!’, he begs as he tries to control your movements. After a few moments, you seem to calm down enough for him to loosen his grip around your hands, and you takes the opportunity to rub his cheek with your thumb. He leans into the touch.

‘Chan…’, you whisper, managing to show him a smile between the tears running freely down your face. ‘Chan, I lo- AAH!’, your confession gets cut off by a chilling scream and you collapse in his arms.

‘NO!’, he cries out immediately. ‘Y/N, please!’, he begs. Your eyes open after about half a minute and you try to regain your posture, but he quickly makes you sit down on the bed, worried that you’ll faint again.

‘I’m fine… I’m fine, it’s okay.’, you assure him. He stands in front of you as he holds you close, your legs on each side of him.

‘I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, babygirl! Just stop, okay? You don’t have to say anything.’, he tells you, letting go to look at your face. You just now notice the tears in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, I know… I know how you feel. You don’t have to say it.’, he continues. You get up to clean away a single tear on his cheek with a soft kiss and then rest your forehead against his.

‘No… I’m sorry. You should get to hear it. I’m sorry I can’t say it.’, he shakes his head slightly as if he’s disagreeing with you, as if he’s saying you shouldn’t be apologizing, but you just ignore it and continue on. ‘I… I want to. I really do. I just… I can’t do it. It hurts too much.’, you confess.

‘Stop, don’t say anything… Don’t say it!’, he begs, kissing your forehead before resting his on it again. ‘Please, I just can’t stand to see you like this… I can’t see you in pain, I can’t take it.’, he declares.

‘I’m fine now, Chan. I promise.’, you smile and kiss his lips gently, without any urgency or passion, just with pure affection. You then take his hands in yours and kiss them too, before deciding to hook your arms around his neck while he comfortably does the same around your waist. ‘It only hurts when I try to tell you how I feel. It’s one of the downsides of Lucifer’s blessing… I can’t say it before you do, because it quite literally hurts my pride.’, you explain, almost entertained with how ridiculous the situation seems.

‘I… I didn’t realize it caused you that much pain. I thought it felt similar to what I feel when I want to sleep with someone but don’t… Like, it’s uncomfortable, it’s kind of this stingy feeling, but it’s nothing like what you seemed to experience. I mean, I know other demons who have been blessed by Lucifer, and they’ve also said that they feel some kind of discomfort, or even some pain when they’re ashamed or something like that… But I’ve never seen them hurting as much as you just did. I… I had no idea, I’m so sorry.’, he lets out, terrified by the idea that he’s the one that caused your suffering with his persistence.

‘Don’t be, it’s not your fault.’, you assure him, as if you can read his mind. ‘You couldn’t possibly know, I mean, even I didn’t know… I’d never experienced that before.’, you say, trying to make him feel better. It seems to work, as you can feel his muscles relaxing up a bit. ‘But yeah, I suppose it’s a bit worse for me because I’m not a demon. I’m human, and my soul is obviously more sensitive to the strain of the demonic burden than your auras are. But I’ve gotten used to it, I can handle it pretty well. And it’s not usually like this… It’s like you’re saying, the ache is usually more of an annoyance than an actual problem.’, you take a small pause to let him take in the information before proceeding.

‘But I guess the pain is proportional to how vulnerable my pride is in the situation. And… You know… I don’t think I’ve ever been in a position where the risk is quite so high. It’s just… It’s too important, it means too much. If I said it and you didn’t said it back, it would destroy my pride completely. It just comes down to that, I guess.’, you shrug your shoulders slightly, trying to look unbothered.

‘I… I never thought about that.’, he lets out, looking up as if he’s lost in his own thoughts. ‘But now that you’re saying it, I’ve never felt quite as terrible as I did the days after I first met you… Before that night when you came to my room… I felt like I was sick.’, he describes, referring to your first sexual encounter. ‘But now it makes sense… It’s because I wanted you, I wanted to take you right then and there, but couldn’t.’, he takes a small pause before looking down and gracing you with a lighthearted smile. ‘You’re crazy though.’, he adds.

‘Arguably true. I mean, at least partially.’, you joke, smiling back. ‘But why do you say that exactly?’

‘How could you ever think I would not say it back?’, he questions, planting a kiss on your lips, then your cheek and finally, your neck. ‘I told you, I can’t get enough of you, princess … I want you all the time, I hate to be away from you… When you leave to go somewhere, I count the hours until I can see you again, touch you again. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and I feel like a silly, weak, little teenage human girl when I’m around you, it’s embarrassing!’, he lets out happily, as if he’s mocking himself.

‘Oh, shut up.’, you tell him with a dry chuckle, amused, taking it as a joke.

‘I’m serious!’, he protests.

‘Sure, you are.’

‘Y/N, I mean it. I mean every word.’, he tells you, suddenly very serious.

‘You… Hmm, you’re actually serious right now?’, you wonder.

‘I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. And I’ve never been more sure about anyone before.’

‘Chan, stop… You don’t have to say this just because…’, you start, but he cuts you off.

‘No, I want to say it. I’ve had a lot of lovers over the years, but I’ve never been in love, Y/N. I always thought love was just an excuse humans invented to make themselves feel better over the guilt they have about their carnal sins. Hell, I was sure that shit was a myth…’, he takes a small pause as he rests his head against yours once more and closes his eyes, breathing in your scent. He keeps talking with his eyes still shut.

‘But then you came into my life and made me question everything I thought I knew. You made me believe in the myth. You made me feel… new, and excited, and just… happy. Happy like I’ve never felt before.’, he says, rolling his head a little before opening his eyes to look straight into yours, forehead still glued together. The knot in your stomach clenches more and more at every word coming out of his mouth. You just want to tell him he made you believe in love too. He’s the one still speaking though. ‘You’re my drug, and I can never stay away. Nor do I want to.’, he says.

‘Then don't…’, you let out in a whisper without even realizing you just spoke aloud. He moves his head back to take you all in and gives you the biggest, brightest smile you have ever seen on him, looking so warm, so beautiful, so… perfect.

‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N…’, you start laughing at the use of all the names, but deep down it’s just a nervous laugh.

‘Oh no, please don’t call me that ever again.’, you joke, trying to hide your excitement. He moves one hand from your hip to cup your face and rub your cheek before continuing. Your heart beats so fast that it feels like it’s about to burst out of your chest.

‘Y/N… I love you. I am desperately in love with you.’, he lets out just before pressing his soft, plump lips against yours. You kiss him back as if your life depended on it, your pain finally almost completely gone as a wave of relief crashes down on your whole being. ‘And I’m not even ashamed to shout it out from the rooftops for everyone to hear!’, he teases as your mouths break away, the happiest silly smile plastered on his face. You let out a snorted chuckle at the comment before holding him closer, until your noses are touching. You look up at him fervently.

‘Well, if I’m your drug, then you’re my medicine. I feel like I’m constantly burning from the inside and the only thing that stops the flames from taking over is… well, you. I only feel whole when I’m with you. You, Chan, as much as it hurts my pride to say it…’

‘Oh no, stop. Are you okay?’, he cuts you off, clearly worried that you might be in pain again, despite you showing no signs of it. You laugh fondly at his reaction as you cups his cheek.

‘I’m okay, don’t worry. You already said it, so it’s fine. It’s just a tiny little sting now, it doesn’t hurt, I promise… Because I know how you feel now.’, you explain.

‘Are you sure?’, he insists.

‘I’m sure!’, you reassure him. ‘You wanted to hear it so badly before and now you won’t let me say it?’, you tease him.

‘I’m sorry, I was just worried about you.’, he confesses, planting a quick kiss on your neck, just over one of the marks you gave yourself earlier.

‘Okay, now that you know I’m fine, will you just shut up and let me speak?’, you ask, poking fun at him. He nods eagerly with a shy smile. ‘Thank you. As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me… You, Chan, are the cure to my affliction. And I never thought I’d say this, but… I love you too.’, you finally admit with a warm smile.

It feels like a terrible weight that was crushing you down has lifted from your chest. You love him, and you can finally say it. And he loves you. Nothing has ever felt quite so in place. And now it’s his turn to kiss you passionately and ardently and yet, still tenderly. He’s the happiest he’s ever been hearing the words coming out of your mouth.

‘I’m pretty sure a part of me has always loved you, ever since we first met… I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.’, you say when the instant passes. ‘At first, I thought it was just sexual attraction, you know? But the more I was with you, the more I realized it was more than that.’, you tell him. A moan of pure bliss escapes him as he closes his eyes, enjoying the moment.

‘Hmm, say it again…’, he shamelessly begs. ‘I want to remember the way the words sound in your voice, it feels like music, it’s so beautiful.’, he adds without ever opening his eyes. You smile at the sight.

‘I really do.’, you say, rubbing your nose on his to make him open his eyes and look at you. ‘I love you, Chan.’, you let out on more time and he drinks it in.

‘I…’, you kiss his left cheek.

‘Love…’, you kiss his right cheek.

‘You…’, you softly kiss his lips. He’s still in his own world, taking in every small detail of what you’re saying.

‘I love you so much, baby.’, he lets out and kisses your neck, just where he knows you like it. ‘You’re never getting rid of me now, and I’m not even sorry.’, he teases as he comes back.

‘You won’t hear me complaining about that.’, you smirk, taking his hand and leading him to switch places with you before making him sit down on the bed with you standing between his legs. You take off your top, revealing the bra underneath and he kisses the skin between your breasts, and then your stomach. But then a stray thought pops up on his mind and he suddenly feels the urge to ask something.

‘Wait… so, are you like… my girlfriend, now?’, he lets out with an excited smile. You can’t help but laugh at his expression, thinking he looks like a kid waiting to receive a present on Christmas. ‘Are you?’, he repeats, sounding a little too eager.

‘No.’, with just one word, his smile quickly turns into a pout. It’s like taking candy from a baby.

‘Why not?’

‘Because I hate that word.’, you simply state, moving your legs around to sit on his lap, facing him while resting your own knees on the mattress with your feet under your thighs.

‘I don’t.’, he says with a playful smirk. ‘I never had a girlfriend, I’d like to see what all the fuss is about.’, he adds before licking the skin from your collarbone up to your ear. You close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his tongue on your body. ‘See? You like me way too much not to be my girlfriend. Come on, just say “yes”…’, he whispers before naughtily biting your ear, teasing you.

‘Do you really care about that?’, you ask genuinely, making him look up at you. He shrugs his shoulders slightly, trying to look not too concerned.

‘I mean, I didn’t think I would, but now that you said “no”, I have to admit, it kind of sucks. I don’t know, it’s not like I’m expecting us to just magically stop fucking other people, I’m just saying… It’d be nice to let them know that, even if they are fucking you, at the end it doesn’t matter, because you’re still mine, and only mine.’, he confesses, his possessiveness coming through in his words. A satisfied smirk comes up to your face as you can tell by his speech and general demeanor that he’s becoming more sexually charged. You take the opportunity to taunt him.

‘So, you just want to claim me… Is that it? Because you don’t need to call me your “girlfriend” to do that, you know? Your dick has done that for you a long time ago, with a little help from your lips, and tongue, and hands too.’, you tease. He seems to not find it too funny though, so you try to be sweeter with your next words. You move a bit, grinding against his evident bulge, and getting closer to him to whisper to his ear. ‘Don’t you see? No matter who I fuck, I always end up coming back to you.’, you say before kissing his cheek softly. ‘You’ve already marked me, already claimed me.’, you add, now kissing his lips with a bit more passion and urgency. You, too, are getting excited.

‘Okay, that’s good and all, but…’, he starts before taking a long pause.

‘But what?’

‘Well, I want to claim your… urgh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, and I will deny it if you ever tell anyone! But… Oh, I hate myself… I want to claim your heart, not just your pussy.’, he lets out shyly. You can’t help yourself and you start laughing vigorously at his comment, so much so that you drop to the side, laying on the bed next to him, clutching your stomach. He turns to you, pouting.

‘Hey! Stop mocking me!’, he demands dramatically as he starts tickling you as revenge. You can barely breathe over his vicious attack.

‘Okay! Okay! I’m sorry! Stop! Please, stop!’, you let out between laughs, finally giving in.

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought, princess.’, he says, smugly, as you both sit back up on the bed.

‘Alright, so how about this: instead of “girlfriend”, you could just call me “your girl”…? What do you think?’

‘Oh, please!... Look at your face, you love it!’, you mock him, amused.

‘Wow, I really love my girl.’, he tries it out with a big smile.

‘Yeah, I guess that works.’, he tries to look unbothered.

‘Fine! You can call me whatever you want, just stop being a baby about it.’, you give up.

‘I like “girlfriend” too.’, he argues.

‘Hey, you punks better watch your mouth, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about!’, he lets out as an example. You roll your eyes at him overdramatically.

‘Oh, shut up, you love it too!’, he mocks you right back, grabbing your by the waist and bringing you close to him to kiss your neck playfully. You grab his hair, enjoying the moment. Your excitement soon becomes your main focus as you tug at it to make him look at you.

‘Okay, great. So, now that you’re done… (impersonating him) “claiming my heart”…’, you mock him, landing a slap on your butt as punishment, which you enjoy, as does he, feeling it up nicely afterwards. ‘Can we end all this emotional mush for now, and can you please come and claim my pussy?’, you tease, pulling yourself up to sit with your clothed core just over his ever-growing bulge and moving slightly to give him some satisfaction. The friction causes him to let out a moan and you take the opportunity to sensually bite his lower lip.

‘Hmm, you’re waking up the beast.’, he warns, making you smirk.

‘I’m counting on it.’, you respond, moving your hips back and forth as you pull his shirt off.

You take a second to take in the view. He’s so beautiful with his perfect body… his hands, his arms, his pecks, his abs, all his muscles tensing up with gratification as you ride him. His head tilts back as he enjoys the release your movement grants him, lewd sounds escaping him. You drink them all in as you carefully examine his stunning features, eyes closed and mouth agape with pleasure.

‘Just say it… Say it one more time.’, he lets out, finally opening his eyes to look fondly at you as you move steadily. His voice sounds low and intimidating, but you still welcome it. There is no pleading or begging in it… it’s not a request, it’s a clear and simple command.

‘Don't stop.’, he says, making you realize you had inadvertently slowed down the pace as you got lost drinking him in. ‘Just say it.’, he repeats as he takes off your bra and watches your boobs bouncing with the movement.

‘I love you, babe.’, you say in a seductive tone as you start moving faster, feeling how close he is.

‘Say my name.’, he orders before firmly planting his mouth on one of your nipples and sucking slightly, causing you to moan now.

‘Oh, Chan…’, another indecent sound comes out of your mouth as he licks your other nipple before sucking it. ‘Kiss me.’, you ask him as he pauses to take in a deep breath when you stop your hips. He obliges, giving you a wet and messy long kiss filled with desire and urgency. ‘Chan, I love you.’, you let out in almost a whisper as the two of you break apart, resting your forehead against his. ‘And I want you… I want you so badly right now, I need you inside me.’, you blatantly plead. He stares at you adoringly, as if he’s admiring a piece of fine art.

‘I love you, babygirl. And I can’t believe you’re mine. You’re so beautiful, so perfect, and you’re all mine.’, he lets out, his possessiveness coming out in his words, his tone, his demeanor. All of it just makes you more excited though, so you play into it.

‘You better believe it because I am. I’m yours, Chan, I’m all yours. You can do whatever you want with me, baby.’

‘I want to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week, princess.’, he lets out seriously, his eyes glowing with a spark of pure lust.

‘Do it! Tie me up and fuck me like there’s no tomorrow.’, you let out a little too eagerly.

He roughly pushes you onto the bed, your back resting on the mattress as he gets on top of you, his instinct taking over, guided by the flames of desire. In a matter of seconds, he has already gotten you out of your shoes, jeans and underwear, and has stripped down himself to be completely naked. You both enjoy looking at each other for a moment before resuming the activity.

‘No one will ever touch you as delightfully as I do…’, he says as his hand trails from your thigh to your pussy, slightly rubbing over your clit before he moves on to your stomach, your breasts, chest, and finally, your neck, where he gently chokes you for a moment, sending a jolt of electricity down your body.

'No one will ever…’, he continues as he pushes his dick inside you without much care as it easily slipped in with how wet you already were. ‘…fill you up as wonderfully as I do…’, he finishes as he bottoms out with your walls clenching against his member, pressing on the large vein that runs under it, with moans coming out of both of your mouths when you’re not busy taking in each other’s lips.

‘No one… will ever… pleasure… you… as perfectly… as I do.’, he lets out between hard thrusts that make your orgasm dangerously close as he hits your g-spot just right. ‘Hmm, I’m so close, babygirl… Cum with me, cum with me.’, he half begs, half orders.

‘Oh, Chan… Chan!’, you shout, and in a matter of seconds you’re both riding your high together.

‘I’m gonna fucking ruin you for everyone else in this world.’, he says as he keeps pounding into your now oversensitive core just for some extra pleasure. You grab the back of his neck, making him look straight into your eyes. You stare at each other lovingly for a second when he stops moving before you speak, his dick still inside you.

‘You already have.’, you simply say, genuinely, before planting an adoring kiss on his already abused lips. He smiles into the kiss, feeling happy and fulfilled. ‘I always come back to you, babe. I will always come back to you… Because we belong together. No matter how many people we sleep with, it will always be the two of us in the end.’, you tell him. His eyes shine bright listening to your words. You reach down to cup his face with your hand and he kisses the palm softly. ‘Because you’re the only one who really knows me... All of me. Because you're perfect, Chan… You're perfect for me.’, you finish, leaving him feeling as if his heart is about to blow up, in the best possible way.

[dear-alex-chill]

May we discuss Ducktales and Body Language, especially in 'Astro B.O.Y.D'?

I want to talk about Gyro throughout this episode and how he acts, specifically because I noticed something really interesting. His character development for both his own growth, and what we learn.

Let's start with the earliest example, a small detail. When 2BO first returned to evil, courtesy of Akita, Gyro immediately began hyperventilating. While it may not have been as severe as that of Donald in 'The Town Where Everyone Was Nice' it's still something to note to show how much of an impact this has on him. Just in Season 1 he dangled dangerously over the gold in Scrooges bin while Bulb went mad with power and had a lot of strength and sharp things he could use yet Gyro didn't shake or look this scared. He looked nervous yes, but not terrified.

Second one, the 'I have to do this for me'

We've all had that Atticus Finch/Kirby Finn/ most protagonists moment where you did something, not only to help a person in need, but because you had to do it to prove something to yourself. The same thing goes for Gyro here. You can watch as he says 'You save Gizmoduck, I've got to destroy 2BO' he takes a deep breath and does the hand movement thing where it's like you're convincing yourself of something. He's got to face his problems and last, he can't let people keep fixing it for him. He can't brush this off or ignore it, he's got to be the one to do it. Gyro in this scene must prove to himself that he's capable of this. Furthermore when his plans get changed by Huey, he needs a minute to realize he's not destroying 2BO (or in his mind, his greatest failure) he's stopping him. Which brings us to this,

The Blame for His Guilt.

All these years and it's shown that when 2BO destroyed the city, it appeared to be Gyros fault. Heck, there's a newspaper in Akita's hiding place that shows exactly that. When Gyros blame is changed from; 'I did this. This was all my fault and I've got to change it' (which is the mentality he's had for years) to 'I was the scapegoat. It wasn't my fault, I couldn't have controlled it.' That is something you really don't want to realize, it's much harder when the blame that's been set for years changes, and it's even worse when he realizes he couldn't have stopped it. That command was to be executed no matter what, Gyro couldn't change that. So he lashes out now. He angrily shouts and charges as it becomes clear that he's been burdened with guilt, stress, anxiety, and pressumably some PTSD (which we will discuss in a second) from this. The way he moves in this shot especially you can see the pain on his face and the anger in his body as he goes at Akita. He's believed for years that he caused the Tolkyolk Disaster. That he failed. That his inventions were evil which is why he later in life tries so hard to justify his inventions being good. Gyro realizes he's been carrying a burden with him for so long he never needed.

The Intern Habit Returns.

This is a tiny note but one I love seeing. Cinematic parallels. The moment Akita arrives Gyros acts the exact same way he did when he was an intern. Scared, gripping a rectangular thing that holds information, and cowering. All at the sight of Akita.

((I think it's safe to assume Akita was abusive))

Scared. This one was when Gyro saw Fenton on the ground, temporarily incapacitated. He's scared for him. It's really sweet to see him actually care and be scared for Fenton or anyone besides Bulb. It's growth.

This time when BOYD is hurtling dead at him and he's begging, pleading, for him. This is the first time, in twenty years, he's told BOYD he's real. Was he denying BOYD being real because he didn't want to accept that everything horrible had indeed happened? Or was he saying that by BOYD being 'definetly real' his inventions were good, His ideas were valid and he himself wasn't a bad person? Both of these ideas really work for Gyros character. It's known he struggles with self-doubt and it's also known he doesn't like what happened in Tolkyolk, so much so he only vaguely describes it at the start of the episode. It takes a flashback for us to fully find out what happened, that's how little he discusses it. When he throws himself infront of the same invention that destroyed an entire city, trying to reason with him. That's character development. That's Gyro stepping up and taking initiative and proving to everyone that he can fix his messes, he can do good, he is more than his reputation. And to anyone, that would be terrifying. It's scary to think of stepping up and putting yourself in danger just to protect those closest to him. Yet he does it anyway.

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That's all for my analysis, please rb if you have more you want to add on or if there's other pictures/scenes you want analyzed!

[yandere-wishes]

Yandere Charcter Encyclopedia

A list of some requested charcters and the types of yandere’s they would be. I might open requests for a part two later idk yet. 

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Twisted Wonderland

Vil Schoenheit is  controlling and possessive.

You need to be the BEST!

It's more so this lovesick notion that Vil seems to be "in love with" rather than you as a person. No one knows exactly why Vil chose you as his dearly significant other and Vil has never given any inkling as to why he favors you above everybody else. It's a paradox, an unsolvable mystery. But the truth is Vil fell in love with you, not for your looks, nor your personality, heck you didn't even really do some outstanding gesture that pulled at his heartstrings, no, instead you did nothing. Confusing, I know but let me explain, you were a nobody. No breathtaking looks, no fantastic personality, no influential family. There was NOTHING special about you! This means you had the potential to be something special, something extraordinary and the only person in the universe who could raise you to such levels was nonother than the head of Pomfiore, Vil Schoenheit!

Every day he spends hours making sure you look perfect, a face painted in just the right ways to make others believe you had the features of an angel sent from above. Posture so straight, shoulders pulled back to make others think you were the long lost heiress to some fallen family. Never once did you speak out of place or with a tone harboring too many emotions, every word that left your mouth was so well thought out and prepared that others could only suspect you were some sort of genius.

You were nothing, that's what made Vil notice you in the first place, that's what made him mold you into the perfect someone. Whatever you are now is only thanks to your darling, caring lover...never forget that. 

Rook Hunt is delusional.

Rook's brain is an incredibly messed up place and it only gets worst the longer he's around you. You are a little rabbit, nimble and sweet and he is the hunter that wants to stick a bow right through your beating heart, a lovely pair you two make, wouldn't you agree? But the more he stalks you, following you around like a second shadow. The more he realizes that he doesn't want you simply for the thrill of a small chase...oh no, he wants to keep you. Put you in a golden cage and throw away the key. You're not some rare catch like le roi des lions or a breathtaking sight like le roi des poisons. No instead you're simple, you aren't a game of nither wit nor strength, you are simply a game of love. Because you love him already don't you? You know he's been following you and doesn't do anything about it because you want him to catch you, right? You want the greatest hunter to hit you with his cupid's arrow so you can fall into his awaiting arms, right where you belong!

Azul is manipulative (were you guys seriously expecting something else?) 

Azul is all calculations and deals, all wit and talk. He's got guts to go up against just about anyone he meets and he’s smart enough to turn them into a fish out of water. So maybe it was his confidence that let’s you slip away with lax deals, bending the rules for a helpless little angelfish such as yourself. He doesn't notice that he has feelings for you, not until you stroll into the VIP room of the Mostro Lounge looking for your "dearest friend Azul", all to simply ask him for a contract to make the lousy excuse of an Ignyhide dorm leader fall in love with you. It's then and there that Azul decides it's time to toughen up the rules, tighten the noose around your pretty little neck. You don't even notice until you're rejected by Idia and some strang red string is dragging you into Azul's waiting embrace. 

Kalim is delusional and obsessive.

To Kalim, this is just another heart-filled game. You belong to him and he belongs to you, it's simple! The two of you are so in love...it's just you're a little shy when it comes to admitting it! That's okay, Kalim knows a few drinks from the land of hot sands that will loosen your tongue and if that fails there's always Jamil's hypnosis magic that can make you confess! Look, no matter how you go about it, Kalim is just all so convinced that you love him that it doesn't matter what you really think!

Ruggie is manipulative (Lord have mercy on you people the day I finally muster up the courage to write Savancalw yandere  headcanons)

Oh sure, male hyenas are passive when it comes to females everyone knows that! But whilst Ruggie does follow -albeit loosely- the reserved yet desperate routines of hyena courtship, he leans more towards suffocating his chosen mate with his presence rather than showing a desperate side of himself. He's always circling his chosen darling, stalking them down the halls, trailing after them all over campus, he never leaves them alone. Any confrontations from his darling will lead to an immediate sob story. Something about how he could smell food in your bag and didn't have any money to buy his own meal or maybe about how he never met a girl as cute as you in slums so he had no idea how to approach you properly. Of course, this is all a hoax, he just needs you to drop your guard, to look him in the eyes with your sad, heart-throbbing orbs, then it's game over, you're all his. "Hey, what's with the dull face? come on, laugh with me skskksks~".

Jack is a protective.

It's only natural really, wolves are overprotective when it comes to their pack members and sure maybe you aren't really a part of his pack per se. But that doesn't mean he's just going to leave you to fend for yourself. You're all so small and frail, you could never hold your own against anyone! Let alone all the mages in NRC. But Jack can, he can protect you and defend himself, it's not a problem. He's very likely torn on whether or not to actually kidnap his darling. On one hand, he doesn't want you to hate him for stealing you away from your friends, he wouldn't want to play the role of the big bad wolf in your story. But on the other hand, poor Jack just isn't lucid enough to fully understand that whisking you away is wrong. In the end, you probably just wind up in his room locked away, or better yet, protected from all the horrors of the outside world.

Deuce is an obsessive 

He just wants to be around you all the time. It's mostly some deep routed paranoia that at any fleeting moment you'll somehow abandon him finding refuge with either Cater or Ace. Maybe you find their lazy stupid mannerisms amusing, is that it? If you want lazy, he can be lazy too! Or maybe you want to be with Riddle? Do you like guys who are mean spirited and quick to anger? He can yell! He can yell so much better than Riddle can! Deuce will do anything, anything at all to get you to stay with him. Even if some of his tactics are a little more painful and involve some broken bones. 

Hypnosis Mic

Jakurai  is possessive and protective 

He's overbearing to put it simply, constantly hovering around you, ghosting his fingers over your flesh, or leaving lingering kisses on any patch of exposed skin. First and foremost Jakurai is a doctor, so it's his nature to be nurturing, sure you can accept that much. But what he does to you isn't nurturing in any way shape or form! Juakurai isn't above using sedatives and other forms of medications to keep you compliant, that's not what a good doctor should do, you're both lucid enough to know that. But to Ill-Doc you leave him no other choice, you're constantly disobeying him, trying to find some underhanded way to leave him. So what else can the poor man do! He needs to keep his only escape from the tedious loneliness he's been cursed with, safe!

kamigami no asobi

Balder is possessive and obsessive

He can't help it, there's just something so radiant and sparkling inside of you, something that he can't let get tainted by the darkness that rests within others. You're always walking on thin ice around him, chewing every single word before conversing, calculating every single step before daring to make the slightest move. One wrong look or miscalculated word could get him to spiral into a fit madness, and this time there won't be anyone to save you. But that's only if you do the wrong thing! Just keep playing the role of the loving, adoring girlfriend and there won't be any further...complications. If you simply show him how much you love him, Balder can become all so sickly sweet. A perfect doting boyfriend, constantly sharing his precious meat with you and dressing you up in prettiest lavish gowns from Asgard. 

Obey me

Asmodeus is sneaky 

The avatar of lust is used to swift meaningless relationships, too caught up in the passion and pleasure to really care about the other person. But with his darling things are different. Oh sure, the lust and sexual tension is still there, always hovering around the air like a thick unbreakable fog. Accept this time there's something else, a sort of jealous aroma blowing through the dense mist. It's intoxicating, making Asmoudaus crave only his little darling, he only wants to look at them, touch them, kiss only them! It's almost like he's addicted to every itty bitty detail about his newfound lover. Will Asmodeus get bored of the relationship over time? Absolutely! But will he ever actually leave his darling to their own devices? Hell no! Asmodeus may have the right to cheat on his darling but they can NEVER so much as think about another man other than him! HE.OWNS.THEM! Their body, mind, soul, it all belongs to him!

Black Butler

Snake is Jealous  (I haven't written for black butler since, like, sixth grade) 

Snake does love you, this is an evident fact, he never once leaves your side. It's suffocating sure, but it's only because the scaled boy is so paranoid that you might run away with someone else, someone normal. His snakes (mostly Emily) are always chaining the two of you together, constantly curling around your skin so you won't get any ideas to escape. Lord forbid you so much as look at another man, that'll make the white-haired snake charmer go into a fit of pure utter rage. normally Snake won't punish you, but when his jealousy gets too much to keep inside he'll let it out by screaming at you. Asking you if you find him repulsive if you wish to leave him for someone who looks normal. This will than lead to him crushing you in his arms, begging you not to leave him! Overall Snake is one of the tamer yandere of the  Phantomhive residence, a real blessing in disguise. 

mystic messenger

Saeyoung is obsessive 

It's really all just a small accident, this was never really meant to happen, he wasn't meant to fall in love with you. Saeyoung probably just came across your profile whilst on the web, scrolling through some database or another. like I said, IT.WAS.AN.ACCIDENT...and yet all so many times accidents can lead to something...more. Saeyoung doesn't know what particular thing it was about you that caught his attention, maybe it was your cute face or some little odd, out of place detail in your bio. Either way, it has the red-haired hacker surfing through every site just to learn more about you. Picking the internet apart just to find out some small fragments of your personal life. It's become a sort of hobby -addiction-  of his, stalking your every move through trackers and reverse cameras. One day he might even gather the courage to speak to you in person, but for now, he's content watching your pretty face from behind a screen. 

Code Realize

Impey is Obessasive and clingy

It's your smile, right from the get-go, Impey was enthralled by your cheerful smile. It makes his heart skip a beat, his palms grow sweaty, and his breath hitches in his throat. He just adores that pearly white grin. He's constantly pestering you, poking your cheek, and asking you to smile for him just once more. "Just a small smile, please~". His clinginess is mostly due to the fear of losing you or more so having you stolen from him. That's why he never let's go of your hand and is constantly locking you in his room. "I'm the only one that deserves to see that smile" it's such a childish phrase, primarily when it's accompanied by his renowned pout. Of course, things start to go downhill when you outright refuse to smile. Choosing instead to cry and scream, begging someone to save you from this mad man. Impey is borderline delusional if he thinks you'll ever smile for him again, after the stunt he's pulled.