#because if you acknowledge something weird is going on maybe you should make a change idk

[chocoqtelle]

inner child pac reading

🦀 pile one,,

I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?

it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.

🐸 pile two,,

It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.

holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.

🐕 pile three,,

I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.

this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.

[crewfu]

I think there's a portion of Janet's audience that feel similarly about GTA and the influx of GTA viewers she's attracted. It's become sorta exhausting to watch any of her content as a non-gta fan. The 18 y/o RP was always a weird decision, imo, and she didn't really question anything about it until it was brought to her attention. I fear the brief drama she was in was also amplified because of that decision, unfortunately.

Yeah. I honestly tried a few times to watch because she speaks so positively of her experience playing but it’s just not for me. I’ve not seen anyone say anything about not liking gta or even mention the weirdness of her rping a teenager so I just thought maybe it was just me. Also her chat just isn’t what it used to be and so intensely rp focused now that I don’t want to join anymore even on non rp days. I’m surprised the drama didn’t give her any second thoughts about that community at all. I only heard about it second hand through Steve talking about it but it sounded really dumb. The streams have been doing well for her numbers wise which she’s mentioned being motivating for her in the past so with an addictive personality that makes a deadly combination.

I think if she wasn’t a bigger streamer it would be more of an issue for people (or at least I’d like to think so because I’ve seen rp fans defend some crazy stuff before so who knows) And I honestly do believe that a lot of interactions she’s had on the server are influenced by her clout.

I’ve basically muted that whole category on twitch and I’ve used blocked terms on other platforms to avoid seeing it. The only place I still see Janet content is instagram and youtube because she hasn’t over saturated those platforms so far. I don’t remember if it was youtube or instagram but a recent reel or short popped up of her revealing to I’m guessing a romantic interest in game that her character is just 18. To see that presented as a stream highlight funny moment is SO uncomfortable to me. It’s been out of sight out of mind for me for a while so that video kinda resurfaced the feelings I’ve had.

[willowsnook]

When Love is Left Unspoken

max verstappen x reader

she isn't you i'd be insane not to love you

request from @formulaal

Pt. 2 here

"Alright, one more question from the chat," you said into your mic, scanning for a good one. One caught your eye, and you began reading it aloud before realizing it would reveal something from your past. “Would you choose a guy over your best friend?”

Laughing humorlessly, you looked into the camera with a tight smile. “Anyone who’s been here for a while knows how relevant that question is to my life. But my answer hasn’t changed: if you’re choosing a romantic partner over your best friend, you can get fucked. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. See you around.”

Logging off, you grabbed your water bottle and headed to the kitchen to refill it. Checking your phone, you smiled at the stats from the stream—10k of your fans tuning in tonight was a big turnout. You’d gone viral on BookTok back in 2020, and now, your book podcast had a solid following. Normally, BookTok didn’t bring huge numbers, but thanks to your former best friend, your popularity had skyrocketed. As grateful as you were, his part in your success irritated you now.

Then a notification popped up on your screen, and you rolled your eyes.

MV: Nice stream.

You: Fuck off

MV: Glad I’m still living rent-free in your head.

You: Glad you got permission to text me.

You threw your phone down on the counter, boiling inside. Nobody got under your skin like he could, especially after 20 years of knowing exactly how to do it. Growing up, it hadn’t always been this way. At 10, you’d moved with your family to the Netherlands, right next door to the Verstappens. Max quickly became your best friend, your weekends spent watching him kart. Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine things would end like this.

You met Kelly in 2018 at a race Max invited you to. Right away, you got weird vibes. She looked at Max like a toy she had to have. It was creepy, especially given the nine-year age gap. By 2019, they were dating, and she made it clear she didn’t like you, refusing to acknowledge your existence. That led to rocky times between you and Max; he always had excuses to avoid seeing you. When you were together, he seemed tense, as if being watched.

Everything fell apart in Australia 2021.

Flashback

Max invited you to the first race of the 2021 season, though you almost didn’t go. It felt obligatory, as if he invited you just because you’d never missed an opening race. You hadn’t seen him all winter, just exchanging quick holiday texts. Walking into the paddock, you felt a strange sense of finality, like this might be the last one.

Spotting Carmen outside Mercedes, you walked over and hugged her. As you stepped back, she looked worried.

“What’s up?”

She hesitated. “I thought you should know, Kelly’s been saying some nasty things about you around the paddock. No one believes her, but… I wanted you to know.”

“What is she saying?” you asked, heart sinking.

“She’s calling you pathetic, saying you’re still pining over your childhood crush and using Max to become an influencer,” she said softly, looking at you with sympathy.

“You’re joking,” you said, anger simmering. She shook her head.

“Can I be real with you?” She asked, and you nodded. “I love you and George loves you and honestly, everyone does. But I will accept not seeing you here anymore if you finally realize that Max is not being a good friend to you. And he hasn’t been for a long time.”

Eyes filling with tears, you let her words sink in. She was right, but admitting it was brutal. Maybe staying around him was just self-inflicted pain.

You found Max later, pulling him aside.

“I only have a few minutes, so make it quick,” he said, barely looking at you. Seeing him like this, you realized that the man in front of you wasn’t your best friend anymore.

“Your girlfriend’s telling people I’m a pathetic loser here to use you for fame,” you said, voice flat.

“I don’t believe that,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.

“Really?” you laughed bitterly. “You don’t believe that from your girlfriend—the one who’s disliked me since day one?”

“Seems like you have something to say, Y/N. Just say it,” he replied, finally looking at you.

“There was a time in my life where I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live without you. But now I’m living it. Have the past ten years been nothing to you? All it took was an older woman to bat her eyelashes at you and that was it?”

He opened his mouth, but you cut him off.

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you that we had a good run and that I wish you the best. Fuck you. Fuck you for choosing her over me and fuck you for even letting it have to be a choice. I hate you.”

End of Flashback

That was the last time you had spoken to him. There were no texts or calls after that; his life just went on like normal while you felt like you were dying inside. You had thrown yourself into your work after that and now had over a million followers and subscribers to your podcast. You’d stayed friends with Carmen but hadn’t returned to a race since that day. You had tried to block the memory of that day from your mind, but when you were low, one thing always resurfaced in your mind. Kelly was right about you pining after your childhood crush. You had been in love with Max back then. How could you not be?

Then Carmen invited you to the Austin GP, and after much persuasion, you finally agreed. Thanks to your online following, you flew down with her, officially a Mercedes guest. Wearing Mercedes colors felt like poetic justice.

When you entered the paddock, a wave of nostalgia and sadness hit you. But it disappeared as you saw familiar faces you’d missed over the years.

"Y/N!" Alex called, arms open. Hugging him, you sighed, realizing how much you’d missed everyone. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” you admitted before greeting Lily, who gushed over your podcast and joked about being a guest. As you laughed with her, you noticed Alex subtly trying to block your view. Looking over, you saw Max walking by. He did a double take, but you turned back to Lily, ignoring his stare.

Later, as you waited for a coffee, you overheard Checo’s wife and Fernando’s girlfriend chatting.

“I heard Max and Kelly broke up,” Melissa said.

“Oh yeah, it’s been a few months,” Carola replied, shrugging. “Apparently, he was in love with someone else the whole time.”

You smirked. So Kelly finally experienced what it felt like to be second choice.

The race came and went, and you successfully avoided Max the entire weekend. You didn’t even think about the possibility of running into him when you accepted Carmen’s invitation to go out that night. George had actually wanted to go out, so you found yourself at a little country bar that night with what seemed to be the whole grid. You felt Max’s gaze the second you walked in, and you were doing a hell of a job ignoring him. Charles was trying to talk to him, looking confused between the two of you, but you didn’t care.

Ordering another gin and tonic you felt him come up next to you and you refused to look over.

“Put hers on mine,” Max said, handing over his card. You tried to leave, but he held out an arm to stop you.

“No ‘thank you’?” he teased, eyes intense.

You glared. “You can have it, then.”

“Stop being difficult,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You look good.”

“Can’t say the same about you,” you shot back, and his expression darkened.

He sighed. “Can we talk?”

“I said everything I needed to say three years ago. Have a good night.”

This time he let you go and you made your way back to Carmen who was looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You okay?” She asked, and you nodded.

A little while later, you were sitting at a table talking with Charles with Max hovering close by.

“Max, come sit down,” Charles slurred, and at this point, you were too tipsy to put up a fight about it. “Max is my best friend, ya know?”

“Ah yeah?” You asked head tilting. “Those words don’t mean much coming from him.”

Charles giggled, too drunk to understand what you meant and Max clenched his jaw looking at you.

“Insult me all you want schatje, as long as you’re talking to me I’ll take it,” he said and you didn’t say anything, just stared at him trying to figure out his angle.

“Is this the girl Kelly broke up with you over?” Charles asked and Max whipped his head towards him. “You always had a thing for her, so I told Alex that was my guess.”

Max’s face fell, and you froze. Shock turned into anger as you got up and stormed out. You felt Max following and soon he was in front of you, blocking your path.

“Come on,” he urged, leading you to a nearby park.

“Max, I don’t want to talk,” you said firmly, pulling away.

“I don’t care,” he replied, frustrated. “Tell me what I need to do to fix this.”

You laughed bitterly. “Crawling back because you got dumped? It’s too late.”

“It’s not like that.”

“You made your choice three years ago. Now live with it.”

“You want to know why we broke up?”

“I don’t really give a fuck,” you replied before turning to walk away.

“She isn’t you!” He yelled. Your legs stopped moving as your mind reeled.

Whirling on him you got into his face, “You don’t get to fucking say that to me. Not after all this time. Not after what you put me through. Not after you chose her over me. I was there the whole time Max. Me! I was there! It’s not my fault you didn’t realize that till I was gone.” 

“I realized it long before then,” he said softly, and you took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. Tears were starting to fall, and you looked everywhere but him. 

“Then why?” You whispered, voice cracking. 

“Because I wasn’t good enough for you,” he said laughing sadly to himself. “The pressure was starting to cave in back then and I didn’t want you to see that. I didn’t want to burden you.”

“You were my best friend Max,” you said exasperated. “I would have done anything for you.” 

“It’s easy to see that now,” he said. “But then you were so full of life and starting your little videos that I didn’t want to disappoint you. She understood what I was going through, but I never stopped loving you.” 

“Then why did you still push me away?” 

“I had to do that so that I could try and move on. She knew and she hated that there wasn’t anything she could do to change how I felt about you. I knew what she was saying about you in the paddock, and I knew why she was saying it.” 

His words hit you like a ton of bricks, and it felt like heartbreak all over again. “You knew and you let it happen. You are the worst person I’ve ever known Max Verstappen.”

He was crying now too and the two of you stood staring at one another not saying anything. 

“I would be insane not to love you,” he said softly and it made you cry harder. “So I will do whatever it takes for however long to make up for what I did.” 

He let you go again and you left him there, crying silently as you walked back to the hotel. So many emotions going through your mind paired with confusing feelings. 

Happiness for your 15-year-old self that has wanted to hear those words for so long. 

Sadness for your 21-year-old self reliving those memories. 

And anger at your 24-year-old self for considering letting him make it up to you. 

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Just discovered you and love your writing! Was hoping to request something for when you have the time or desire to write 😊

Could you please do a Slytherin boy being betrothed to the reader where they know about each other and are in the same friend group but they never want to outright acknowledge it. They both secretly like each other but try to date other people because they dont want to be forced into being together.

Maybe someone gets too jealous and mad and then things escalate 😋

Thank you for considering 🥰🤩

I was having a hard time choosing which boy, so I hope Draco works. If not, send me another request! <3

Possessive

Draco Malfoy x F!Reader

Warnings: Oral(male and female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, cream pie, cussing

18+ Minors DNI!

The Malfoys and your parents had arranged for you and Draco to get married after you guys graduate. You never hated Draco and he never hated you, but the thought of being forced into a marriage with someone was something that pissed you off.

You both were friends and that never did change after the arrangement, even if it did get a little awkward. It made your friend group a little weird for a bit since they all knew, but no one dared to speak about it since both you and Draco threatened them if they mentioned it again.

Normally, Draco wouldn’t go against his parents, but having his future already decided for him made him start rebelling. Even you started to as well. You both would date, makeout, hookup with other people, trying to ignore the other person. You knew you were going to be married anyways eventually, why not experience other people before that?

But, deep down, both of you liked each other. As much as Draco didn’t like the idea of his future being controlled, he really did love that it was going to be with you. And same with you, you were happy you were going to be with him, you were just mad at your parents for forcing this onto you.

Even though he was trying to ignore you and have fun with other people, he was really falling harder for you. The way you’d smile and laugh when hanging out together with all your friends. Your jokes. Your personality.

Something snapped in him one day when he saw a guy hitting on you at one of the Slytherin parties. He tried pushing the jealousy away. You were his fiance, after all. He’d have you in the long run. But then the guy started touching you. A hand on your waist. He was going to cut his hand off.

Before he even realized it, he was walking towards you. He grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the guy.

“What the fuck?” You asked Draco as he was dragging you away, guiding you to his dorm. “Let go, Draco!”

“No.” He said coldly. He brought you in his room, closing the door.

“What the fuck was that about?” You yelled, pulling your arm out of his grip.

“You can’t do that! You’re fucking mine!” Draco said angrily.

“You’ve been dating and hooking up with other people, too. You can’t say that to me!” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“You’re going to be my fucking wife!” Draco said as he grabbed the hair on the back of your head possessively, making sure you looked up at him. “Not his. Not anyone else’s. Mine.”

“That’s not fair, Draco.” You said calmly, looking into his eyes. “You’ve been doing the same.”

“I’m done with them. I don’t want them anymore. I want you.” He matched your calmness, but kept his grip on your hair.

“You can’t just do that, Draco. I’ll be yours in the future, let me have my fun.”

“I can give you your fun, though.” He used his hand in your hair to tilt your head back further, moving his head to start pressing kisses to your neck. “Let me show you. If you hate it, I’ll leave you alone until the wedding.” 

“I…” You were struggling, partially from hesitation, not knowing if you should. The other part was because of the way he was kissing your neck and the hand in your hair.

“Come on, darling. Just once.” He whispered.

“Fine.” You agreed, uncrossing your arms.

He didn’t say anything, but moved his hands to pick you up and dropped you on the bed with him hovering over you. He spent a few moments just running his hands over you, like he was happy to finally have you all to himself, even for just a little bit.

“I'm gonna make sure you want no one else but me now.” He said as he started to undress you. “So fucking stunning.” He ran his hands all over you again once he got you naked. He wanted to worship you, kiss, lick, bite, touch all over you.

But he had to prove a point, he needed to show you who you belong to. And he really needed to feel you.

He got undressed as well, letting you rake your eyes over him. God, he loved seeing your eyes running over his body.

He leaned back down to start kissing you. His hands ran down your body again, giving your breasts a good squeeze before continuing its path down. He pulled away and moved to lay down beside you, moving you so your pussy was right above his face and you faced towards his lower half. He didn't waste any time before licking your cunt, moaning at the taste. You started moaning above him as you placed your hands down on his chest for support. He urged you to lean further down with a gentle hand on your back. You knew what he was going for and leaned down, wrapping a hand around his dick before spitting on cock then taking him in your mouth.

You both were pleasing each other with your mouths. His tongue alternating between licking at your clit and fucking your hole while you bobbed your head up and down his dick. Your moans were muffled by his cock as he moaned into your pussy. His mouth on you was so distracting, even his hands grabbing your ass were drawing your attention. Your movements were faltering and he started thrusting up into your mouth, making you gag on his cock.

“Come on, darling. I know you can do better than that.” He said as he gave your ass a spank.

You moaned and tried focusing back on sucking him off.

“That's my girl. Don't stop.” He said before putting his mouth back on your pussy.

He was still helping by thrusting into your mouth, it’s like he wanted to hear you gagging and moaning around him. His mouth continued its attack on your pussy, licking and sucking and prodding at your hole. It was getting distracting again. Draco noticed and flipped you to lay beside him, quickly settling back between your legs as he continued licking at your clit. He pushed two fingers inside you, too, looking up at you to watch your face.

“My mouth too distracting for you, love?” He teased before sucking on your clit.

Your hands went to his hair, arching into his mouth. “Shit! Yes!” You answered with an eager nod.

“And you wanted to have fun with someone else tonight.” He said after he let go of your clit. He continued licking and sucking, hearing all your pretty moans. 

He had you cumming on his mouth and fingers like he knew your body perfectly already. You cried out his name as you trembled, gripping his hair tightly. He helped you ride it out, using his free hand to rub your thigh.

He pulled off of you and flipped you over, pushing on your back gently to get you to lean down into the pillows.

“You're so gorgeous. I can't believe you were letting other people but me touch you, angel.” He said softly, but you could feel his anger and jealousy seething from him.

He pushed into you, definitely not as gently as his voice. You yelped at the intrusion before moaning at how nice his dick felt in you. He barely gave you a moment to adjust before he was thrusting in you. His cock was hitting deep in you, making you grip at the sheets below you as you moaned.

“Draco.” You moaned his name. “So deep. Fuck.”

“Yeah? Never had anyone this deep in you before?” He asked, gripping at your hips.

“No. Shit!” You cried into the pillows as you buried your face in them.

He wasn't having that and grabbed your hair again, pulling your head up from the pillows. “Wanna hear you, darling. No one's ever made you feel this good?”

“No! No! Just you!” You cried out, moaning from his brutal pace.

“Just me? Do you wanna fuck any of those other assholes anymore?” He moved his hand on your hip to your clit.

“No! I don't!” You were teetering on the edge now.

“Good. Who do you belong to, darling?” He asked, feeling how you were clenching on him as he groaned.

“I belong to you, Draco!” You cried out.

“You gonna cum? Gonna cum all over my cock, sweet girl?” He asked, his own thrusts losing tempo.

“Yes! I'm gonna cum!” He kept his pace as best as he could before you came, trembling and crying his name with a few curses.

He was right behind you, filling your sweet pussy with his cum. He rode out his high before pulling out and watching his cum dripping out as he rubbed along your back gently.

He never wanted anyone else to touch you again. You were his future wife. You belonged to him and him to you.

[luna-azzurra]

do you have any advice for writing a love confession without making it grossly cheesy or awkward?

im writing one between long time childhood best friends that are EXTREMELY close and im so stuck

Since these two characters have been best friends for a long time, the confession should feel like it’s built off their history together. Maybe start with a memory that’s meaningful to both of them. It doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic moment, something small but personal, like a time they supported each other or a running joke they’ve had forever.

For example, one of them could say something like

“Remember that time we got caught in the rain walking home from school, and you made up that ridiculous song to keep me from freaking out? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately… and I realized that’s when I first started seeing you differently.”

When people confess their feelings, especially in a real and vulnerable way, it’s usually not in flowery language. If you try to make it too poetic or dramatic, it might feel forced. Instead, keep it honest and straightforward. They don’t need to say “I’ve loved you all along” in some grand, movie-like way. Let the confession come out more naturally, almost like they’ve been fighting it for a while and finally just have to get it off their chest.

You could have them say

“I don’t really know how to say this, and it might sound weird… but somewhere along the way, I started seeing you as more than just my best friend.”

There’s no way for this kind of confession to be totally smooth, and honestly, that’s what makes it feel more authentic. They’ve been best friends forever, so there’s going to be nerves, maybe some hesitation or stumbling over words. Lean into that awkwardness, it actually makes the moment more relatable and shows how important it is to them.

Maybe one of them starts talking, realizes they’re rambling, and tries to correct themselves. Like

“Okay, wait, that sounded dumb, let me start over. What I’m trying to say is… you mean a lot to me, more than I’ve probably ever said out loud, and it’s kind of terrifying because I don’t want to mess things up between us. But I’ve gotta be honest, this is how I feel.” The vulnerability in admitting they’re scared to ruin the friendship makes it more heartfelt and real.

This is probably the most important part! These two aren’t just falling for each other out of nowhere, they’ve built this strong, deep friendship over the years. So the confession should acknowledge how much that means to them. Make it clear that the romantic feelings don’t take away from their friendship but add to it.

You could have one of them say something like

“You’ve always been the person I turn to for everything, and that’s not gonna change, no matter what. But lately, I’ve been feeling something more, and I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I just hope it doesn’t mess things up between us.” This way, they’re emphasizing that the friendship is still the foundation of everything, but they can’t ignore the fact that it’s evolving into something deeper.

Overall, just make sure it feels true to the characters and their relationship. Don’t feel like you have to tie it up neatly with a perfect line or a romantic kiss right away. The beauty of this kind of love confession is that it’s messy and emotional, and it should reflect the complexity of their relationship. They don’t need to have all the answers right away. Let the moment be about the honesty and the fact that they’re finally admitting something that’s been building for a while.

Maybe end with something like

“I don’t know where this goes from here, but I had to tell you. You’re too important to me to keep pretending like I don’t feel this way.” This leaves room for both characters to process what’s happening without forcing a big romantic resolution right away. It’s more about them taking that first step into new territory, which feels more genuine and in line with the close friendship they’ve had for so long.

[duskyvenus]

A flower blossoms for its own joy: How will you bloom?

A PAC about your blooming moment and how you will get there. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and choose the photo that speaks to you. 3 piles left to right. This is for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates. Feel free to check other piles if it doesn't resonate :)))

Pile 1

I'm seeing that we have some shy people here or people who put a lot of thought before saying something in the sense that they don't want to provoke someone. The message here is to be little unapologetic about certain things. You don't have to be worried about how others perceive you. "Say the weird thing!" I know this can be hard especially if you're not around the right people but the trash will take itself out if you are more open about your likes and dislikes. This is the way you will find the people that are truly meant for you, by letting go and cutting some people off. Also, I'm seeing that you need to practice gratitude and mindfulness. Keeping a journal can help. Travel to places you have always wanted to visit. The last thing that you need to do in order to "blossom" is to accept help. I get that it is nice being independent but being humans we need community. I'm not asking you to be very social and have too many friends, cuz remember the earlier point of not gaf about what other people say; yeah just do enough so that you're comfortable :) Remember that this is going to be a new chapter in your life so the key is balance. I think you can imagine your blooming moment by now. For some of you I'm seeing the presence of a significant other. This will probably be a slow burn.

Here's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

Pile 2

I'm mainly getting the vibe that you don't take care of yourself enough. Like no skincare, self care or you're not eating healthy. I'm not asking you to follow strict regimes to become flawless, I'm just saying that maybe something's missing, some deficiency perhaps (?) idk. I also get the vibe that you are tight on money or grew up in a low income household. There's a lack of self love in this pile. You feel like you don't deserve love or that you're low maintenance because of your past relationships. (That's just not true!) The remedy for all of this is investing in yourself. You don't have to go broke looking after yourself; keep a journal, write down your thoughts, write down positive affirmations, maybe change your wardrobe (clothes carry energy), have a candle light dinner with yourself, etc. I'm also seeing that you could be really good at handicraft so maybe you should start a business. You could even be a good photographer. You just need to start posting you're a true artist! If you do things that make you happy and calm you're going to get closer to your blooming moment. You're going to have a really beautiful house. Your house will be adorned with pottery, paintings, etc. I get a self-satisfied vibe :)

Here's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

Pile 3

I'm getting that this pile is very different from the last two. You probably have everything anybody could ask for or, you are working towards it. You are really close to blooming but that will need just a little more effort. You will bloom if you acknowledge your roots. You have to be very humble and thankful. Maybe you have lost track of your identity due to the grind and the struggle. Taking short breaks from time to time could be a good idea. You will bloom when you include others into your plans. Try giving gifts to friends just because. Tell them that you are glad to have them in your life. Go camping or hiking, reconnect with nature. For some of you I'm seeing an ancestor that protects you because you remind them of themselves :)) Apart from this I see that you're good at your job and leave on the dot which may have ruffled the feathers of a few people. But you don't have to worry about that. Just be your usual self. "Your coworkers can very rarely be your friends so make time for the friends that you already have." - words from your ancestor. I see you happy and smiling in your blooming moment. Shaking hands with important people, doing what you love to do :)) Your ancestors and spirit guides are smiling too <3

Hers's a moodboard for you:

Songs:

Thank you for reading!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

hi! i saw on your shipping chart you had meenah and cronus as moirails and noted 'would have prevented all problems' and ive never really seen that take before. id love to hear your thoughts on that if you wanted to talk about them, your analysis in general is always amazing

Sure! I know this one's going to be controversial, but TBH I'm kind of fascinated by their dynamic. So please bear with me here and come into it with an open mind; I was also really surprised when I noticed what was going on.

Also, standard disclaimer that nobody has to agree with me or ship my ships, I literally don't care, HCs are valid, death of the author, etc. etc. This is just a canon discussion blog, and there's kind of a weird amount to read into in the canon between these two.

Okay, so, first of all, quick refresher on moirallegiance: it's not necessarily about being BFFs, it's very specifically about pacifying each other, keeping each other calm and stable, and preventing each other from causing harm to oneself or to others.

Ergo, the marker of moirallegiance rests not on "do these two get along as BFFs?" and instead on "do these two keep each other calm and/or mitigate each others' harm".

So with that out of the way, Cronus and Meenah. We know that Cronus has a redcrush on her, echoing Eridan's redcrush on Feferi, and that Meenah is not interested at all. Cronus shoots his shot with her, she's like ick, no & leaves, and that's that on that. Cronus then rounds on Mituna and says some unbelievably cruel and shitty stuff, but here's Point #1 - Meenah shows up again, and Cronus stops immediately, and then is noticeably calmer and friendlier to Mituna. Compare:

CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

-

CRONUS: vwell, this is clearly absurd, but nyeh, vwhat the heck. CRONUS: mituna, i just cant take it anymore. i think my ghost is going to kill itself. MITUNA: WH0W4H L375 FUCK!!!!! CRONUS: vwait... CRONUS: really? MITUNA: N0 0Y0 P135H3 0FF 1ND107 FUGG1NG G4R484G3  #FUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0U CRONUS: oh.

So at the very least, SOMETHING conciliatory seems to be happening here, whether that's pale or ashen. But I'm going with pale, because it continues.

Their second conversation together is really interesting - not only has Cronus stopped redflirting with her, but he no longer even seems interested. Compare this to the section with Mituna above:

CRONUS: oh sure. no grub sauce on your hands! MEENAH: wow you did it MEENAH: ampora you totally changed my mind about you lets start makin out immediately  #not CRONUS: just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more

Like, he doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the "let's make out #not". Not even in an indignant "see, you keep playing with my collapsing and expanding bladder based vwascular system" kind of way. Literally just breezes right by it, which says to me that he isn't even really that into her concupiscently.

But more interesting are the actual contents of the conversation. Cronus is the only person on the entire team who's able to make Meenah have misgivings about how awesome the Condy is.

MEENAH: man MEENAH: a girls gotta have fuel for her pimp ride know what im sayin MEENAH: like MEENAH: i probably took care of him good MEENAH: you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways MEENAH: and... yeah #38(

This is the first and only time that Meenah even acknowledges that the Condy - herself at her worst - is kind of shitty. This is the first and only time she's ever expressed any emotion for the Condy other than fangirlish admiration or rage against Caluborn for enslaving her. For whatever reason, she actually listens to Cronus when Cronus takes her to task, and he's actually able to make her genuinely reflect on her worst tendencies.

But maybe more damning is the fact that in their first real conversation together for nearly an eon, she almost fixes him:

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn. MEENAH: sounds like another desperate cry for attention imo

[...]

CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.

Cronus's fundamental emotional problem is a sense of purposelesness and ennui. Born into a caste of high privilege, with his identity overshadowed by said position, he's been handed an unpleasant cocktail of entitlement, lack of true emotional support or connection, and lack of a real, authentic personal identity - especially because the thing he DID seem to derive a sense of identity and purpose from - his little Harry Potter wizard backstory - was driven out of him. In other words, he's kind of a shitty rich kid that doesn't really know who he is outside of that, and his humankin stuff is an attempt to fill the wizard hole without addressing his real underlying issues. It's a Bad Thing for him to be doing, and something he should drop in order to start addressing his genuine insecurities, feelings of emptiness, and lack of identity or purpose. In other words, it's harm he's performing on himself, and a single conversation with Meenah being enough to make him reconsider it? Hmmmmmm.

In fact, I'm not the only one picking up on the pale vibes. The specific way that Kankri interrupts the two reads as incredibly pick-me in pale:

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with.

[...]

I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.

"Don't take Meenah's advice about your problems! Take mine instead, I care about you sooo much more than she does!" lol. I have a whole essay on how Kankri and Cronus are actually super toxic for each other, in an interesting foil to Karkat and Eridan, which I'll link here in a bit (I'm on mobile RN and it's hard enough C/Ping my sources).

In any case, Kankri slides in at exactly the moment where Meenah's about to fix Cronus, and proceeds to make Cronus worse. The details are in the Cronus and Kankri essay, but TL;DR it's kind of implied that Kankri is the one who talked Cronus out of the wizard stuff in the first place, which pretty much disqualifies the two's relationship from pale, given how harmful that was. This whole thing is pretty reminiscent of Gamzee coming between Karkat and Eridan when Eridan is trying to comfort Karkat about Sollux dying, because it's implied Gamzee has a palecrush on the guy. That might be subjective, though.

What isn't subjective is the fact that Meenah unironically defends Cronus's wizard beliefs when Aranea starts shitting on them.

ARANEA: Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought [Cronus's wizard beliefs were] all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense. MEENAH: serket why do you got to hate on other peoples religions MEENAH: dont you kno they just as much a load of crackpotty bunk as all your spiritual bullfuck ARANEA: 8ut I........ ARANEA: Yes, I guess I was out of line.

She doesn't do this for anybody else. Not long after, it turns out she's absolutely joking about defending Kurloz:

MEENAH: wow serket MEENAH: just wow so rude MEENAH: poor clown ARANEA: Don't give me that! I seem to remem8er you having more than a few unkind words for him 8ehind his 8ack. MEENAH: yeah im messin witchu he sux

And even proceeds to shit on HIS spiritual bullfuck:

MEENAH: )(ONK ARANEA: Honk honk! ::::) MEENAH: lol im glad we can both agree that clowny fuckin soda cult is the dumbest shit ever

So... weird, huh? Seems like she gives Cronus special treatment for some reason.

That's it for the diegetic stuff to go over, which, yes, means that there's a bit of non-diegetic stuff to discuss. It's not much, but here's Hussie's commentary from the Act 5 Act 2 book, on Mindfang's journal entries about Dualscar leading up to the 3x showdown (emphasis mine):

In the end, even though violets are the ruling class, she doesn't care much about them either. All she cares about is keeping her stranglehold on power with this complex, staggered, oppression-based sort of pyramid scheme. Note how it says the Condesce doesn't even know who Dualscar is. That's how insignificant he is, ultimately. Similarly, all Eridan was to Feferi after a while was a tiresome pest. The way that situation played out could also be seen as long-delayed karmic backlash for Dualscar's irrelevance to her, at least from a very Amporan point of view.

Now, while the specific context here is about how, from the point of view of a shitty entitled guy, Eridan killing Feferi is kind of a retribution for the Condy not giving a shit about Dualscar, all of Hussie's commentary is meant to be interrogated just as much as the base text, and it just makes me wonder. The dancestors very much treat their Alternian counterparts as alternate versions of themselves, consistent throughout their interactions, meaning we ought to consider Duascar and the Condesce to be versions of Cronus and Meenah.

If it is, in fact, the case that Cronus and Meenah would've made for excellent, harm-reducing moirails for each other, then murderstuck being a karmic backlash for their ultimate irrelevance to each other takes on a much greater implication - one that traces back to Cronus's classpect.

Bards start off massive karmic chain reactions, resulting in improbable victory or abject defeat, sometimes both; Hope is an aspect whose main application is making fake things real.

So I'm not saying that Cronus believing that an evil wizard attacked him when he was younger but was inadvertently sealed away and that Cronus was therefore karmically destined to defeat this wizard, but then having his beliefs shattered halfway through, led to him karmically contributing to the eventual creation of LE via his Hope abilities "inviting destruction" by making only the first half of his fake prophecy true, but - oh, no, wait, I am saying that. Man, that really sucks for everybody. If only Cronus had a friend who was, for whatever reason, willing to stick up for his dumbass wizard faith.

If only.

[robthegoodfellow]

Let's Hear It for the Boy

Praise Kink for Day 3 of @harringrovekinktober

(roommates, kink experimentation, billy is a good boy, nsfw)

Steve felt like a real asshole when Robin asked out of the blue one day, maybe a month after he and Billy became roommates, if Billy was paying part of his rent in labor. Shave some off if he agreed to be your housekeeper? And, at Steve’s incredulous bafflement, had clarified: Every time I’m over he’s cooking or doing laundry or—cleaning shit! To his horror, a highlight reel started up in his mind, a montage of Billy doing all those chores and more, and worse, Steve realized he’d contributed approximately nothing to the daily maintenance of their shared living space. Steve! Robin had scolded, correctly interpreting his guilty grimace. 

So he’d promised to talk to Billy about it—assure him that keeping the place sparkling was in no way required or expected or—or if that was just how he preferred to live, then he’d promise to do his fair share from now on. Only, bringing it up over pizza and beer, a basketball game on TV, had produced an unexpected reaction. Billy… kinda… froze? Went bug-eyed, like Steve had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. He looked embarrassed.

“Man, it’s fine,” Steve said, tripping over himself to explain—put him at ease. “I really don’t care either way. I just wanted to check and make sure you knew I wasn’t gonna, like—kick you out if you let up on the Cinderella routine.”

Billy flushed more, beet red, and Steve resisted smacking himself in the face. He was fucking this up so bad.

“I mean—”

“I don’t mind,” Billy mumbled, avoiding Steve’s eye as he reached for his beer. “I like it.”

“Okay,” Steve said, over the top encouraging. “Great. Well, I’ll at least pitch in more—”

“You don’t have to do that.” Billy’s throat worked, gulping, plush lips pursed on the can. Steve blinked, shook his head, tuned back in to catch the muttered aside, blue gaze locked on the Michelob commercial. “It’s all good. Nothing has to change.”

Why the hell was he being so weird about this? Did he think Steve couldn’t chip in? Pull his own weight?

“Just because I grew up with a nanny doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do stuff. Vacuum and dishes and—”

Billy grunted, annoyed, throwing his shoulders back to wedge himself into the couch, a mulish slouch. “Just drop it, will ya? I like things how they are, so what’s the fucking problem?”

“All right, jeez,” Steve cried, holding up his hands. “Touchy.”

They were quiet, both ticked, but the kind that would drain away by halftime. Except—he felt shitty just leaving it like this, having semi-acknowledged that Billy was acting like his maid.

“Is there anything I can do?” Steve asked, his tone deliberately mild, not looking away from the freethrow swishing on screen. “That you don’t like?”

No explosion—good sign. After a long, loaded pause, Billy sighed. “Take out the trash.”

“Got it,” Steve said. And let it go.

But from then on, he kept watch, determined to figure out the source of the weirdness. Almost positive it wasn’t a control freak thing or a neat freak thing—it wasn’t like the apartment was pristine. It was more that… everyday, Billy had done something obvious enough that Steve commented on it—always had. Nothing major, just Oh, hey—you got that stain out of the carpet or Holy shit, it smells so good—what is that? or How’d you unclog that drain? Wasn’t like he thanked Billy, though he probably should have been—although maybe Billy didn’t want him to make a big deal out of it?—but he’d always notice and say something admiring because Billy was good at stuff. Good at so much stuff.

He started taking out the trash, and Billy never let on that he noticed, but Steve thought he did. And he kept up the compliments whenever Billy did something nice, since that hadn’t been explicitly forbidden. But since he was paying more attention now, he—noticed some things. Only when he was pretending to look elsewhere, monitoring Billy in his periphery or in the reflection of the window or decorative mirrors his mom had foisted on him. He noticed that, those times, Billy sort of… ducked his head, hiding a grin that bordered on… bashful? And his shoulders bowed a bit, like he was—curling in on himself. Like—in delight?

Like—he secretly really liked it? When Steve noticed he’d done something nice? When Steve said something nice about it?

So… he decided to test it. Nothing too overbearing or obvious, just—instead of merely noticing, he was sure to compliment. Because why not, if Billy liked it and still wouldn’t let Steve lift a finger except on garbage day?

Good became his go-to. This tastes so good. That looks so good. Good, good, good.

Which is when it clicked for him—that Billy didn’t do chores and stuff because he liked the chores. But because… he liked Steve’s reaction?

And—that would explain his weirdness. Why he didn’t want to talk about it. Like maybe he was worried Steve would think Billy liked being his bitch or something—Steve winced, anticipating the whack from the Robin who lived in his head—not that Steve thought of him that way.

…Though if he didn’t mind Steve thinking of him that way—or even liked it, then…

Well, Steve didn’t—dislike that. Like the general concept. Held a certain—

Anyway, in the interest of further—ah, testing, Steve mentioned, casually, on his way to work one morning, “I’ve been craving that pasta salad you made.”

Billy cut him a glance over his coffee where he was hunched at the kitchen table. Grunted, and Steve quirked a grin, tossed him a salute goodbye. It wasn’t even a lie—the pasta thing—he’d been salivating at the memory. This version with Italian dressing instead of mayo, with olives and stuff. 

Lo, late that afternoon, when he got back, there was a big Tupperware of it in the fridge. Billy wandered in halfway through his second helping. They paused, wide-eyed at the sudden charge buzzing in the air, and Steve’s stomach clenched.

“It’s—good,” he managed, hands suddenly clammy around his fork and bowl. Billy was staring at Steve’s hands, held awkwardly aloft where he leaned on the counter. The stare was strangely heavy—hooded lids. Steve cleared his throat. “You—did good.”

Billy’s cheeks were as flushed as that day on the couch, watching basketball, insisting he liked—

Abruptly aware his boner was starting to tent his shorts, Steve turned to face the counter, ducking to shovel more pasta in his idiot mouth. Heard Billy go to the cabinet, fetch a glass. Fill it. Walk back out.

Heaving an unwinding breath, Steve set down the bowl, let his elbows bear the weight of this latest sexual awakening.

So that was a thing, apparently—and for Billy, too, potentially. Probably. Because, without quite meaning to, they fell into this little routine where, before Steve left for work, he’d pause, and Billy would look up from his coffee, and Steve would mention something—a rental movie he wanted to see, or a sale at the liquor store, or if Billy would mind throwing Steve’s whites in with his so he’d have a shirt to wear to this meeting later in the week…

And the VHS would be waiting on the counter. And a six-pack would be waiting in the fridge. And his shirt would be washed and ironed and waiting in his closet. And everytime Billy would be lingering nearby, not quite meeting his eyes, and Steve’s pulse would pound even though technically there was nothing sexy about an ironed shirt, and Steve would say Good. You did good.

Billy would sometimes clench his fist, when Steve said it. Or squirm in his seat a bit. Or swallow, throat bobbing. Color rising. And the sight hit Steve like a load of bricks. A load of bricks to the head.

It was the weirdest game of gay chicken—scrambling to find mundane tasks for Billy to complete for the prize of a pat on the back, when all Steve wanted, and he bet Billy felt similarly, was to order Billy to his knees.

He thought about it whenever they were on the couch watching TV, whenever they were eating in the kitchen or drinking on the balcony or passing each other outside the bathroom in the morning.

So he tested further. Came home and went to see if Billy had done it—and there he was, standing by Steve’s bed. The neatly made bed. 

Steve’s heart was rabbiting out of his chest, too on the fritz to form words, and his feet weren’t much better, charting a crooked, clumsy course until they were toe to toe, Billy’s gaze downcast, his lips parted, breaths shallow. 

He didn’t know whether it’d sound stupid if he said it out loud, what he’d been wanting to say for days—whether Billy wanted to hear, or would consider it a step too far.

They’d come this far, though. Steve wet his lips, took a calming breath, and Billy seemed to brace for it. “Good,” Steve said, and it came out breathy. “Good boy.”

Billy curled—did that thing where he ducked, hunching around something invisible—and the sound punched out of him, this pained gasp. Steve’s hands moved on their own, reaching to cradle Billy’s head, step close to whisper in his ear, his brow at Steve’s shoulder: “Good? Is this good?” Felt more than saw him nodding. “You want to be good for me?”

“Fuck,” Billy whispered—bit wheezing. Wet. “Fuck.”

“What do you want?” Steve asked, fumbling at his heated neck. “What do you—?”

“Be good.” It was mumbled, cringing. “Wanna be good.” A shaky inhale. “Make you feel good.”

Steve’s blood was roaring everywhere but his brain—would’ve fallen over if he weren’t clutching Billy. “Want that, too.”

He heard a thready laugh, and Billy straightened, leaning back into his hold, face tipped, lidded gaze on Steve’s chin. “So?”

So what’ll it be?

Buying himself time to gather his wits, some composure lest he combust, Steve tilted his head, assessing. Adjusting his hold, ran a thumb across Billy’s lower lip, firm enough to pull at the skin. “Want this.” Another swipe, exposing teeth, his curving tongue. “Make me feel good with this.”

A tug at his belt, and Billy was nodding, making short work of the button and zip—movements quick and precise. He sank, kneeling at Steve’s feet, tugging the pants to hang at midthigh, and finally looked up. 

Steve swept blond curls off his forehead. “Like you like this.”

Billy stared, eyes gleaming. Seemed to be—waiting.

“So good like this,” Steve corrected. “Now show me how good.”

Swaying, Billy buried his face in Steve’s briefs, nosing him through straining cotton, and huffed hot air at the crown. Steve compulsively gripped fistfuls of hair, still using Billy’s ears as handlebars, and resolved not to let go—to let Billy show him.

And, boy, did he. Laved at his dick until the fabric was soaked, the white gone translucent—white gone flushed pink, twitching under kitten licks—and Steve was on the verge of begging when a pull at his waistband freed his cock, bobbing only a sec before swallowed in Billy’s grip, fed into his greedy mouth.

Steve’s entire vocabulary had been reduced to one word, babbled at the ceiling behind closed lids: good, good, good, only sometimes it came out guh, guh, guh. One hand cupped the back of Billy’s head, and it was when his hips were on a steady grinding roll that he realized he’d caged Billy against him, locked the gulping heat around his cock as he plugged toward the peak.

Billy wasn’t struggling, though—his fingers biting into the meat of Steve’s ass, moaning so deep in his chest that Steve felt it more than heard it.

Steve grappled for a new word—close, close—but Billy didn’t stop, didn’t let up a second, and when Steve grunted his release, the throat worked around him still. 

The moment Billy pulled off, lungs heaving, face ruby red and shining, Steve flopped to his knees, blindly reached for Billy, draping loose arms around his neck, his ribs, waiting for his own breaths to slow.

“Was it,” Billy asked, tight. “Was it—?”

“Good,” Steve said, huffing a laugh, coasting hands across the bellows of his back. “So good—you’re so good. Always so good for me.”

Billy burrowed his face into Steve’s throat, his collarbone, looping him in an uncertain hug. He was hard, pressed against where Steve’s clothes gaped open. Working a hand between them, Steve rubbed his palm along rigid heat. 

“What do you want?” he asked, nuzzling the nest of blond. “Since you been so good?”

A shudder ran up the sloping spine. Steve smoothed his free hand down to Billy’s waist and back up, waiting.

“I—cleaned the shower,” Billy said, halting. “I could—show you, and—?”

Steve kissed his temple, quick, so helplessly fond. Overwhelmed.

“Good boy wants a wash?” Steve suggested, and tightened his arms when Billy tried to do his pillbug thing. “Be my good boy,” he said, hushed, nosing Billy’s flushed ear. “You want to?”

And Billy curled again, only this time around him. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah.”

.

Now with added sequel: Let's Give the Boy a Hand

[oscconfessions]

people should stop portraying book as some little shy girl who "made some mistakes in the past but is ok now" or whatever because that's so booooring and just barely scraping the surface of her character. she should be allowed to be mean to people and have negative emotions and be wrong sometimes, actually.

canon book in tpot also kinda has this problem where she's just portrayed in the most boring way possible that's not like. ooc but just like the super watered down version of her from bfdia. modern bfdia gets like a pass for this because yeah she's supposed to be portrayed as a pushover on that team. but keeping her that way is so weird because it just goes back on the "development" (using that term VERY lightly because the show is kind of weird about her character during the time) in BFB that literally shows she doesn't want to be a pushover anymore and wants to start actually standing up for herself and her friends (her not joining back with pencil for iance and her calling out taco for abandoning the team).

i think bfb portraying her at a negative extreme is good because it manages to be reasonable within her character (it's not really written WELL but that doesn't mean it's ooc some of you just think of it as ooc because you expect book to be some nice little polite girl all the time even when bfdia has shown her being incredibly petty at times and not, in fact, nice all the time) while still going out and doing something unique w/ her and giving her more glaringly obvious flaws. i wish these flaws were shown more post-bfb because Hey, book can be a better person and not at that extreme negative and still have flaws. that's how you make her actually interesting instead of generic nice all the time character who has no issues #57. tpot really wants to show that she's changing from her past and improving on these flaws without actually /giving/ her the flaws that she's supposed to be improving on so she doesn't get any of the development that the show wants her to get/acts like she's getting.

anyways where was i this was suppsoed to be about fanon book. i like that people acknowledge her nerdiness but i dont think people get how annoying she is about it like she literally said (in front of lollipop) that lollipop was being "so out of character" and she literally has snarky definitions of the other contestants written inside of her that's so fucking obnoxious of her and i love it. and like these are still there in bfb (like her saying black hole sucks as a person because he's a pushover) so like i think it's reasonable to carry this over to tpot. maybe lessen it a bit because y'know she is actively trying to make friends but you can make her a bit of an awkward ass to people because it's funny

basically just...... make her worse. no more "cute awkward girlfail" book that's been done time and time again i want to see her suck and i want to see her be lame in a non-endearing way. tpot 10's "redemption" (FOR LACK OF BETTER TERM I DON'T THINK IT'S A REDEMPTION) scene with her and price tag talking is too happy and wholesome i want to see her have to face the ugly truth of her actions after trying to avoid her past for so long and i want her to have negative feelings towards people from her past even if unjustified and i want her to be selfish and i want her to feel bad about her own feelings (this is all said lovingly) so that when she finally moves on from it there's an actual impact on her character. you can't just treat it like she's "turning over a new leaf" with just not if you're gonna have her be the Usual Book throughout tpot. as i said earlier she doesn't get any character development like how the show says she does because there's nothing to change about her

oops again this was supposed to be about fanon. well i just really hate(?) tpot book and her impact on the way the fandom portrays book. give her back her charcter flaws and problems pretty please stop woobifying her!!! i don't think she was some awful person in bfb (i think she was. somewhat right in bfb but that's not what this is about) but i don't think her actions back then should just be brushed off because "oh that's the past and she's clearly changed!" WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE HER CHANGE THAT WOULD'VE BEEN INTERESTING TO SEE HER ARC IS SO SLOPPILY RESOLVED GRHGHRGJHGGHJH sorry folks i really hate #that scene in tpot 10

Also she's a butch lesbian that's not related to any of this but she came to my house personally and told me this

.

[caramel1mochi]

ㅤㅤPlasma [ Yoru x F! Reader ] [1] [ part 1 ] words: 5k / TW: blood, fighting / Please refrain from stealing my work.

ㅤIt's known that earning Yoru's attention is a futile struggle. Still, the first to achieve it is you — a woman who plans for nothing beyond the optimal spot to doze off.ㅤ

note: Mum said it's my turn to wish you all a happy Halloween!!ㅤ Anyway I watched the cinematics 50 times and still mistook the Scions' clothes for robes. But now it's too late to change it so yay.ㅤ Also, this story is pretty lore-heavy so it takes place after the Abyss cinematic. I'd start there hahaㅤ

Dividers by @saradika! Future credits will be in tags.

It all started with one gentle assassin.

An assassin who possessed eyes so innocently bright, a build so friendly and personality so amiable that his recruitment prompted the bosses to question their decision.

'What started?' I hear you ask. And to that, the answer would be a little organisation dubbed the 'Scions of Hourglass'. An organisation with power and control so vast, they managed to hide the discovery of radianite for an undisclosable amount of time. Presumably millennia. As naturally as the planets orbit the sun, every member of this group was brainwashed by their adept commanders. So much so, to entertain the very concept of their underlings having autonomy — or even a sound state of mind — would be beyond laughable.

And Iso was a lovely example of that.

Nevertheless, it led to a rabbit hole. And it was a rabbit hole that proved just how much damage the Scions of Hourglass could do. Indirectly or not, many agents were still affected by it even if they were no longer associated with it — whether it be Omen, Iso, Viper, Reyna… But Clove was one of the few who found it very fun. Mostly because it involved them killing these guys left and right.

Emerging from a smoked off corner, the wee Scot held up their Spectre and immediately began spraying down the one masked soldier in front of them.

Given that he was caught off guard, it didn't take long for the man to fall to his death.

ㅤ

"Agh, that's gotta hurt." They scoffed as they began reloading. "These lads are helpless."

ㅤ

Clove jumped once another soldier appeared. However, before he could take the shot, a few bullets from behind dug through his back. Just as he sank to the ground, it revealed their friend, Iso, who appeared from the darkness. His gaze followed the butterflies that previously burst from Clove as they travelled upwards.

For a moment, he was mesmerised by them, but he was quick to meet their gaze once more.

ㅤ

"Maybe we should go easy on them."

ㅤ

His tone was too monotone to register as sarcasm to anyone who didn't know him. Thankfully, Clove wasn't a part of that crowd. They took their time to reload as they approached him, and the two began slowly walking off towards one of the doorways.

ㅤ

"Ya reckon we jump off and make this fair?"

ㅤ

Iso lightly smiled, though it was more of an awkward acknowledgement than anything else.

ㅤ

"What is it with you and jumping off things?"

ㅤ

"Dinnae make it sound weird, Iso−"

ㅤ

Gunfire suddenly rang out from behind them.

Caught off-guard, Iso instinctively put up a wall of hexagons to shield them from the storm of bullets that emerged. For a moment, the barrier swallowed every bullet, and the ones that were spared flew past them.

The duo readied their weapons just as it stopped.

When Iso's wall came down, however, the two noticed Omen standing over the corpse of one of the soldiers. They could tell that, by his tense posture, he was angrily glaring at them.

ㅤ

"Focus."

ㅤ

Omen growled, causing Clove to stiffen up as several more butterflies escaped them in anxiety.

Satisfied with their non-verbal apology, Omen took a step away from the doorway they were headed towards. There, he unwittingly approached the sharp rays of the sun, now bathed in the light coming in from the opening above. They could see the particles of dust as they fell.

ㅤ

"I sense something…"

ㅤ

He noticed how the particles shifted towards one direction. But before another word could be exchanged, the three heard the awry static in their radio, moments before a familiar and gentle voice took over their ears.

ㅤ

"Team, I need an update. How are you all holding up?"

ㅤ

Amidst the chaos that had only slightly lessened by now, her voice felt like a much needed break for Iso and Omen.

ㅤ

"I'm detecting an unfamiliar presence."

ㅤ

"Of course, I'll run a quick scan."

ㅤ

Silence promptly befell them.

Clove was about to speak, but they shut themselves up once they heard a hum in the distance. The tense quiet amongst them helped them isolate the noise with ease. But it was so quiet considering how far away it was.

ㅤ

“I’m picking up an… abnormal presence of radiancy in the area.”

ㅤ

Sage noted.

Omen noticed something cut off the sunlight that previously illuminated him. And just as he was about to look up, the answer to his question deafened all three of them. If the unbearably loud whirring accentuated by the enclosed cavern wasn’t enough, the shadow that engulfed them from above forced the rest of the team to also glance up.

There, they finally saw the number of helicopters that were entering the area from above.

Omen brought up a hand and unmuted the radio.

ㅤ

“They’ve brought backup.”

ㅤ

One of the helicopters’ doors swung open, revealing a peculiar soldier who stood at the edge of the vehicle.

This one seemed to be dressed in different apparel; as opposed to the previous soldiers who donned simple brown armour, these ones wore midnight blue robes with silver patterns across, and an unfamiliar marking on the black mask that covered their face. The soldier lifted his hand, and there was a misplaced glow emerging from his palm. It almost mimicked Sage’s.

Only one second passed before the trio were forced to jump out of the way. They narrowly dodged an attack of what seemed to be a massive mound of… ice? Snow? No, it wasn’t either. But it was solid and pure white.

Particles of cyan emerged from the massive shards. It began suffocating them, the massive influx of it creating a burning fog that irritated their lungs with every inhale. Only Omen seemed unharmed by this.

ㅤ

“Team, report! What happened?”

ㅤ

Sage cried out, her voice barely audible in the sudden ruckus.

ㅤ

“They’ve brought radiants this time. Weapons ready.”

ㅤ

He cocked his gun as he explained.

And unlike the two of them, who continuously cleared their throats in a vain attempt to clear their airways, Omen peeked and began shooting the first thing he saw. The thick cyan 'smoke' successfully obscured anything that could be seen. Due to this, he had to rely on his hearing to infer whether or not he hit anything, and the bullets from each side made sure to make that even more difficult.

With one more cough, Clove readied their own Spectre and fixed their posture in preparation for the upcoming rematch… as they called it.

ㅤ

“These people have radiants working for them?!”

ㅤ

“Do they really?”

ㅤ

Clove rolled their eyes at Iso’s cheeky remark.

ㅤ

“Agh, whisht. I’m nae keeping track of yer backstory.”

ㅤ

Clove promptly revealed themselves once more. And although they began rapidly shooting at whatever they could see, they made use of the thick haze to reposition themselves and cover more area. Nonetheless, Compared to Omen's, their voices were dangerously gravelly and weak. Something Sage quickly noticed due to them forgetting to mute their radios earlier.

ㅤ

“All of you must get out as fast as you can! We’re sending backup to–“

ㅤ

“There’s no need for backup−!” He peeked once more and shot, gunning down a soldier just as he noticed him. “What difference do radiants make? We can take care of this ourselves!”

ㅤ

His words were now laden with the fury he lugged around the moment he discovered who he really was. It lacked the serenity he was attributed with mere weeks ago. There was no way to reason with him currently.

However, Iso’s thought process was interrupted once the ground rumbled beneath him, and he looked down to see the area he stood on violently cracking, almost like a mini-earthquake. A massive spike of concrete shot out from under him, but he quickly jumped out of the way.

Thankfully, he landed beside Clove behind a massive pillar.

He only had a few seconds to catch his breath and regain his balance. There, he saw the spike revert back underground, having defiled the exact part of the concrete Iso stood on. He knew he'd be dead if he were a second too late.

ㅤ

“Careful,” he started, “some of them could detect our locations, as well.”

ㅤ

“Ya know them?”

ㅤ

He muted his earpiece. Since he attempted to steal a glance once more, he didn't note the curious glimmer in Clove's eyes behind him. Not when he was too busy struggling not to reveal himself to the enemies by accident.

ㅤ

“I know of them.”

ㅤ

Clove laughed, almost amused. In conjunction with them pulling out a smoke from their dimension, a small glow promptly emitted from their hand; its pale complexion now shifting to a purple, pink and white hue.

ㅤ

“It's fine, Iso. I’ve nae problem killing yer loved ones for you!”

ㅤ

“No, that’s not, uh… that’s not necessary; I can do it myself.”

ㅤ

He wasn’t that soft, was he? Besides, they weren't his loved ones.

ㅤ

“If ya say so. Well then, I’ll be out killing these numpties.”

ㅤ

Iso turned to meet Clove's gaze to nod, but he was caught off guard by the massive cloud behind them.

Clove, clearly happy with his reaction, saluted him with a wide grin and disappeared into the dome of colourful smoke they proudly formed behind his back. It felt like his mind was slightly contorting. Iso would attribute it to anxiety if he weren't surrounded by radiants who worked under this cursed organisation.

He had to act fast.

ㅤ

“Iso, you seem to know them, what can we expect?”

ㅤ

Sage’s voice perked up over the radio.

He peeked and surveyed the area. But for now, there was nothing. He still had to watch out for any misplaced shadows. Some of them can turn invisible, right?

ㅤ

“Uh… Well, violent radiancy.”

ㅤ

“Violent?”

ㅤ

“My bosses have a tendency to search for the… the dangerous radiants.” He quickly shot, killing one blue-robed soldier. “If my memory serves me right, one of them can control our minds if we’re exposed to them long enough.”

ㅤ

Iso immediately hid back behind the pillar when another soldier emerged. The misplaced confusion in his mind slipped just as he shot. So, hopefully it was that one, he mused. But he was too overwhelmed by anxiety and adrenaline to think about anyone else.

ㅤ

“This is worse than I thought. I have to send back-up. Try to stay alive until we’re there, okay?”

ㅤ

Clove’s voice emerged in the radio after that. However, in the midst of all the chaos, he deprioritised their conversation and peeked once more.

But then, Iso saw it.

He saw a soldier, also wearing those blue robes, pull his own blood out from his left hand with a twist of his fingers and… He promptly used it to heal the other one he’d just shot, the fluid entering their gaping wound with relative ease.

Now that he saw this from far away, the sight was macabre.

However, Iso was swiftly caught off guard when a soldier emerged from what he assumed was a locked door behind him.

Though he took aim and shot, his enemy was significantly quicker; the bullets missed no thanks to him being stripped of his ability to move.

He wasn’t too concerned with someone sneaking up on him since he had his shield up, but this man, weaponless, only needed one hand to completely disarm Iso. The clatter of his Vandal as it fell on the ground grew to a mere muffle. It only took a few seconds for Iso to begin losing all control of himself.

For a moment, it was blank. All he could hear were the rapid beats of his own heart.

The enemy in front of him became a lump of midnight blue and vague patterns of silver. Time became slower, his pulsations grew weaker, and breathing devolved into a repetitive task he was urged to drop by whatever remnants of cognitive coherence remained in his decaying mind.

It felt like his blood stopped travelling across his body, and the connection between his nerves grew weaker and weaker. So much so, all sensations were no longer being processed.

Thirty seconds before his brain activity finally ceased. With that over with, the soldier promptly worked away at his brain stem.

Then, there was a flash, and Iso fell to the ground. All of his nerves reconnected within the span of a picosecond.

ㅤ

“Iso, are you with me?”

ㅤ

A voice called out, but he couldn’t respond.

He forgot how to speak. Heck, everything he was used to mere seconds ago felt like an assault to his senses. Light, sound, even the sensation of his clothes as they wrapped around his skin, each cloth harbouring a vastly different texture compared to the last.

Omen placed a hand on his back in an attempt to catch his attention. But in the face of the incomprehensible stabbing pain in his abdomen, it did nothing.

ㅤ

“Iso!”

ㅤ

Omen growled once another soldier presumably appeared, quickly rushing in front of Iso to cover him and gun the enemy down as soon as he could. The fight was easy to slip his mind. Nevertheless, he sat up and sighed, finally catching up.

ㅤ

“I’m, uh…” he wiped the sweat from his forehead, “I’m here, I’m here.”

ㅤ

“What did he do to you?”

ㅤ

Omen asked as he reloaded.

But, for a moment, there was only silence on Iso’s end. It felt like many of his systems were shifting inside of him, mainly his digestive and respiratory system. Almost like they were…

Well, he wasn’t a bloody doctor.

ㅤ

“I– I don’t know.”

ㅤ

“I’ll give you time to recollect yourself.”

ㅤ

A smoke of purple suddenly enveloped Iso, but Omen himself stepped out and continued down towards a doorway. Iso heeded his words; he took his time and let his body catch up.

He had forgotten why he was here, or where he even was. All he knew was that there was something they wanted. Worst of all, there was this peculiar... thing he could control, but he just couldn’t remember what it exactly was.

Although he sat there for a bit, an unfamiliar shout from outside of the smoke caught his attention. The distortion of the voice let him know that it was nobody from his team. Right, right. The mission. He and Clove and… uh, someone else, they all came here for something…

He promptly clutched his weapon, stood up and followed without second thought.

His body felt heavier than usual. Each step required an exponential amount of effort to lift every part of his foot, and holding his heavy Vandal was unbearable. But that didn’t matter.

Not now.

Iso turned the corner and mindlessly gunned down the first thing he’d seen.

One soldier fell, revealing another. But Iso wasn’t quick enough to release the trigger; this led to a bullet piercing his target’s thigh and forcing him to tumble to the ground. His weapon escaped his grip, as well.

Iso's thoughtlessly brought him in front of the soldier he'd just injured. He stopped in front of him, aiming his Vandal right on the centre of his concealed face.

His index finger rapidly tapped on the trigger, almost begging him to shoot already. But… something was wrong.

Iso's eyes were firmly locked on the soldier's sash. His brain wracked itself, desperately attempting to understand why this little detail shut his mind down when it could mean life and death. But the way it was tied was different.

ㅤ

“I know you.”

ㅤ

He muttered.

Decades of training pushed Iso to never hesitate. He didn’t even know why he was killing these people, his instincts told him to. Yet, for some reason, he kept scrutinising the midnight blue sash.

It hung loosely around the soldier's waist. As opposed to the others, who meticulously tied it to make it look both elegant and efficient, this one was simply haphazardly tied together.

With a shake of his head, Iso snapped himself out it and firmly held his gun once more.

ㅤ

“Take the mask off.”

ㅤ

There was naught of a response from the soldier. Impatient, Iso shot inches away from his head.

ㅤ

“I said take it off!”

ㅤ

He shouted, his typically soft voice echoing harshly within the walls that surrounded them. Hearing something like this was so awry coming from Iso. It seems that the soldier also knew this, given the sudden tension that coursed through him.

So, he slowly lifted both hands and used one to push off the hood, letting his platinum-blonde hair loose. Then he clutched the black mask and slid it off, revealing… a very familiar face.

Iso’s eyes widened once he was finally allowed to observe your features. And nothing’s changed. You looked just as tired as the last time he saw you.

Sickly pale skin, droopy eyes, and…

Looking at you made it feel like all of those months never passed. It was as if he just came back from another assassination and went to see you like usual. It took Iso a few seconds before he could even form an appropriate response.

ㅤ

“…Y/N?”

ㅤ

“Hey, Zhao Yu. How's grandma?”

ㅤ

Instinctively, he dropped his weapon and rushed to your side.

ㅤ

“My God, you’re alive! I– I thought I’d never see you again… Why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve killed you!”

ㅤ

“We don’t die that easily, remember?”

ㅤ

“But I– I shot you. I shot your leg.”

ㅤ

He lifted a hand, as if he himself was going to tend to your wound, but you were quick to gently push it away.

ㅤ

“I can take care of it, Zhao Yu.”

ㅤ

He faintly nodded, taking his time to observe you. Looks like he forgot.

ㅤ

“It’s been so long. I’m… I’m sorry I never got back to you. Everything happened so fast, and I just–”

ㅤ

“Hey, be glad you left. The new regulations would drive you insane.”

ㅤ

He averted his gaze as he wiped his forehead. It took him a moment to comprehend you were still here, or how things worked at the organisation before he left.

One month… felt like a decade.

ㅤ

“But you could’ve left… We could’ve left this place together.”

ㅤ

“No hard feelings.”

ㅤ

Using your index finger, you began to heal the injury on your thigh with some sort of radiancy Iso just couldn’t remember. He sounded a bit woozy, now that you thought about it.

ㅤ

“It’s surreal seeing you on the job.”

ㅤ

…

He awkwardly smiled and met your gaze.

ㅤ

“Really? I hope my… my performance wasn’t too bad.”

ㅤ

“Fine at first. It got sloppy fast.”

ㅤ

“Oh… That’s– I’m glad it didn’t– I’m glad it didn’t go… uh…” he shook his head. “What’re we talking about?”

ㅤ

You glanced at him.

ㅤ

“You alright?”

ㅤ

Iso stared at you for a few seconds. Then, a crooked smile painted his lips.

ㅤ

“Huh?”

ㅤ

You lifted a hand and stroked his cheek, collecting a few droplets of sweat that were rapidly dripping down his chin. His skin felt hot and he looked weak. That wasn’t to mention how deathly pale he was becoming.

ㅤ

“You’re ill.”

ㅤ

Iso chuckled awkwardly, almost as if he were drunk.

ㅤ

“Am I really? That doesn’t, uh, That sounds…”

ㅤ

The rest of his words were incomprehensible gibberish even you couldn’t decipher. You clutched his shoulder and shifted his blood to inspect all of the surrounding organs.

This inspection, however, was quickly interrupted when you detected multiple unknown particles floating around in his bloodstream. Worst part is that their erratic structure wasn’t anything you could recognise.

And a healthy body wouldn’t have cluttered blood like this.

Great.

You placed your finger on his neck, gradually moving it down to detect where all of these foreign bodies were coming from. The lower you got, the closer you were to the source.

And it was mostly around the upper abdomen.

ㅤ

“Your organs aren’t working, Zhao Yu; you’re dying.”

ㅤ

You averted your gaze to the healed wound in your thigh. Reactivating whichever organ that was shut down would take more blood than one measly shot to the thigh could ever hope to produce.

ㅤ

“I can fix this. I can fix you."

ㅤ

You clutched the handle of the knife he had concealed on his hip, taking it out. But just as you aimed at your thigh again, an unfamiliar voice rung out from down the hallway, accompanied by rapid sets of footsteps.

ㅤ

“Get your hands off of him!”

ㅤ

You jumped at this order.

But you were quick to react; the blade was tossed away in favour of Iso’s Vandal. You clutched it and stood up, aiming it at the group. More specifically, their leader, who seemed to be a woman with a large ponytail. All you needed was a split second to take aim. Then, without hesitation, you promptly pulled the trigger.

However, the bullets were eaten up by a wall of lilac hexagons formed by your former co-worker. It blocked both your line of sight and any hope of self defence.

You promptly shot Iso a glare.

ㅤ

“What’re you doing?”

ㅤ

For a moment, he stared at the wall he’d created, almost as if he was mesmerised by it. Then, he stood up, peering through the wall and watching the weirdly familiar-looking group grow closer and closer.

Everything was so…

ㅤ

“I, uh… I don’t know.”

ㅤ

The hexagons suddenly came apart.

The group of two you were ordered to kill now morphed onto a group of three, that same phantom man now accompanied by many other faces you hadn’t seen in the briefing. All of their guns were pointed directly at you.

ㅤ

“Hands up, drop the weapon!”

ㅤ

“Make me.”

ㅤ

You hissed in response to a very short Scot. And your reply evidently ruffled their feathers. Or their scales. But another was quick to speak before either of you could shoot.

ㅤ

“This doesn’t have to end violently, okay? Just put the gun down, and we won’t hurt you.”

ㅤ

The one with the ponytail said, holding up one hand towards you as a peaceful gesture. This statement felt like such a slap in the face. So much so, you couldn’t help but cock your rifle specifically in the face of the lady who said it, even when the contingency of death was dangerously probable.

ㅤ

“You don’t get to have peace after what you’ve done.”

ㅤ

“You can’t comprehend what atrocities your superiors committed! They must be dealt with.”

ㅤ

Omen replied... and the sight of him stopped you from being able to respond. But during this conversation, the one with the ponytail began moving towards Iso, and it swiftly caught your attention. She approached Iso with one hand outstretched, and a glow of serene yet saturated shade of teal began forming in the palm of that hand.

Before she could touch Iso, however, a shriek escaped her when an immense amount of pressure suddenly overtook her wrist and forced her away just as you waved your hand.

This allowed you to stand between the two of them and force space.

ㅤ

“Don’t touch him!”

ㅤ

You spat out.

The woman clutched her wrist in an attempt to soothe the pain; her two partners seemed like they were just one nod away from gunning you down then and there. But she only stood there, staring at you in surprise.

ㅤ

“Do you… know him?”

ㅤ

The question caught you off guard. And for a moment, you hesitated, narrowing your eyes.

ㅤ

“…Do you?”

ㅤ

“Yes! We’re the ones who took him in!”

ㅤ

You stared at her. And given his silence as he stood behind you, you knew that Iso wasn’t capable of confirming anything at the moment. He must be seconds away from death, you’re sure of it.

ㅤ

“We’re not against you, okay? We’re with you. Let us help.“

ㅤ

As much as you wanted to kill them all then and there, you weren’t capable of doing such a thing given your measly role. And you knew it would probably upset Iso. He did stop you a minute ago, didn’t he?

So… you had no choice but to take her word for it.

ㅤ

“Zhao Yu’s dying.”

ㅤ

“What?”

ㅤ

You dropped the gun and rushed to his side. This also allowed her to move to him and start healing him alongside you.

ㅤ

“My partner shut down his organs. I think one hasn’t recovered.” You pushed your hand against his chest once more. “Check his abdomen.”

ㅤ

She complied. And there, she felt the same heaviness that tipped you off earlier.

ㅤ

“It’s a large organ… I– I’m not sure, but it could be either his lungs, or his liver… or spleen?”

ㅤ

The phantom stepped up just as you moved elsewhere, accompanied by the tired-looking Scot. They slid their gun back in their holster and held Iso’s left arm.

ㅤ

“Iso! Can you hear me?!”

ㅤ

“We need to get him back on the aircraft.”

ㅤ

The phantom started, but the healer shook her head.

ㅤ

“He could die if we wait for too long. His blood is already full of toxins. We must stay until he’s in a functional state, at the very least.”

ㅤ

“You have to go. Now. The others will kill you.” You called out, holding the mask you left on the ground moments prior. “I’ll tell them you escaped.”

ㅤ

“Yer lads cannae do nothing! We can take them all.”

ㅤ

“We have a different execution procedure. It’s why you have holes forming in your bones.”

ㅤ

You tied the mask back on and lifted your hood, oblivious to how the Scot’s face blanched.

ㅤ

"Aye, maybe we should, er…" they awkwardly chuckled, a few butterflies escaping them, "we should go."

ㅤ

You lifted your hand and went to unmute the radio.

ㅤ

“Wait…” The healer spoke. “Why don’t you come with us? We could use someone with your expertise.”

ㅤ

…

You glanced at her in confusion.

ㅤ

“Are you suggesting I quit?”

ㅤ

“Yes, just like Iso! Whatever abuse you’ve endured, it’ll all end if you decide to join us.”

ㅤ

You paused. The offer sounded seductive, but only to a lower rank like Iso. You were in a much worse position being in a higher one.

ㅤ

“I… won’t live if they catch me.”

ㅤ

“We’ll keep you safe from them. I assure you, they won’t lay a finger on you if you come with us.”

ㅤ

You stared at her for a few seconds, weighing this decision. And you weren’t really sure if it was worth it, even though you knew she wasn’t lying.

On one hand, you’d be freed of the shackles of the Scions of Hourglass, and you probably wouldn’t be indoctrinated every day. And you’d also reconnect with Iso. On the other, you’d have to live in constant anxiety of the contingency of being caught again.

You went to reject her offer… until you glanced at the half-dead Iso.

The kid would never survive without you, would he? He could barely navigate being both a student and a hitman without you or his grandmother’s help. Actually, his grandma probably missed you, huh?

You smiled fondly at the thought. So, you sighed, ripped off the mask, and threw it it on the ground. This allowed the screen to pitifully shatter to a dozen pieces.

ㅤ

“Let’s go.”

ㅤ

Just doing that cemented your path with these new people. The penalty for letting your mask break was severe, especially from Jess. But you weren’t here to endure it.

Not anymore.

With that confirmation, all of you left the base through an exit you were sure nobody was guarding. Unlike Iso, you yourself had enough information on this place to navigate it.

All of you boarded what you presumed was their aircraft and disappeared into the sky.

You were impressed with the speed of the vehicle… for a few seconds until you had to tend to the spaced-out Iso once more. The other healer, Sage, was now working on freeing Clove from whatever hold one of your colleagues had on them.

Apparently you weren’t lying about their bones.

ㅤ

“This is horrible. I’ve never heard of radiants who can manipulate the human body like this. How could such a thing possibly exist?”

ㅤ

Among your efforts to heal him, you were also gently guiding the circulation of Iso’s blood. Not fully controlling it, but instead pushing it to move to encourage his pancreas to start fully functioning again. Or spleen, you didn’t know.

But you could tell that it was working. His blood felt much cleaner than before.

ㅤ

“Our bosses take powerful radiants and brainwash them. They teach them the most effective ways to kill.”

ㅤ

You remembered Luca, and how he acted when he was first being trained. It was hard not to laugh at his face when he discovered his ability could be utilised in such a way; that he himself was capable of rendering someone brain dead so fast.

But it ceased to be funny when your friend was now on the other end of it.

ㅤ

“…Is that what happened to you and Iso?”

ㅤ

You opened your mouth to answer, but Iso’s face slightly shifting at this question made your voice falter. It wasn’t hard to tell he was very uncomfortable at this topic, despite his state.

So you opted to leave him out of the conversation.

ㅤ

“Happened to me.”

ㅤ

“That’s horrible.” Sage averted her gaze. “These people are horrible.”

ㅤ

You contemplated her words for a second, and promptly began to question whether or not Iso told them everything.

Sure, you were a much higher rank than him and thus had more information, but surely he remembered their ritual when it came to recruiting specific radiants? Oh, his memory was shoddy. You couldn’t expect much from it.

You sighed and continued your work. But then, a deep voice interrupted you from your thoughts.

ㅤ

“Your bosses…” Omen started, “what do you know about them? Can you name who’s at the top?”

ㅤ

Your heart skipped a beat.

For a moment, you assumed that Omen wasn't speaking to you, but given the fact that he was looking right at you… You braced yourself before finally responding.

ㅤ

“I… only know those way below them.”

ㅤ

“How does that work?”

ㅤ

You stopped and leaned back, stretching your fingers in an attempt to ease the soreness, a vain attempt to take your mind off of the fact you were talking to Omen.

ㅤ

“It’s a hierarchical structure; information gets lost the further down you go. Nobody knows who’s at the top.”

ㅤ

Omen faintly nodded.

And yet, he seemed incredibly unsatisfied with this answer. Your words seemed concordant with Iso’s, albeit a bit more detailed. He himself never mentioned the hierarchical structure of this organisation. But now that they thought about it, it made sense…

So, that meant that Iso was a low rank? Sage mused to herself. But another question took priority in her mind.

ㅤ

“I presume you’re a healer as well?”

ㅤ

“I am.”

ㅤ

“Wonderful! How do your powers work, exactly?”

ㅤ

“I control blood.”

ㅤ

Sage went to reply, but she paused at your response. Control blood? That didn’t seem to match what she was seeing.

ㅤ

“Ah, but, wouldn’t that make you just as capable of manipulating the body as your… um, your former partners?”

ㅤ

“No. It’s suppressed. I can only heal.”

ㅤ

“Really? How–”

ㅤ

“Can we save this conversation for when we land?”

ㅤ

Iso suddenly interrupted. His voice, though monotone, still caught everyone in the aircraft off guard. To the rest, it was incredibly surprising. Clove and Sage’s concerned expressions gave it away.

But to you? You knew that he loathed these questions; combined with your presence, they were digging up too many unbearable memories. This particular aspect of the legendary and feared hitman must be new for them.

Sage promptly cleared her throat.

ㅤ

“Your recruitment should yield… very fruitful results. On both sides.”

ㅤ

Sage said with a smile. Though friendly, you could tell she was just as taken aback as everyone else in the room. You couldn’t help but stare at her blankly for a few minutes.

Then, you turned back to Iso and continued healing him, all while Sage focused on Clove.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 408: Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain

Previously on BnHA: HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi decides he’s going to cover the rest of the AFO/OFA saga in the span of just seven pages, the majority of which are mostly just filled with lovingly detailed closeups of AFO and Kudou’s eyes. Back in the present day, Kid For One takes a couple of seconds to trample the last of the “Kacchan is OFA II or is related to OFA II” theories into the dust, and is then all “fuck it, I’ll just take him out with one last spectacularly grotesque supermove.” Kacchan is all “lol you fucking dipshit”, and he says it with such confidence that it truly makes me believe he can defeat AFO’s “ALL THE QUIRKS EVER!!” attack with his piddly little exploding bloodsweat quirk. AND IT WILL BE A SIGHT TO SEE.

interesting!

Yoichi’s name btw is written with the kanji 与 which means “bestow” or “give”, and 一 which means “one.” so basically “one who gives”, which is fitting as the creator of OFA, but also fits in with this new context of being the first “possession” bestowed upon AFO

oh yes and also AFO I guess has just torn his brother to shreds or something too. idk. I’m going to be honest with you guys, this panel has such a surreal vibe that I just sat here blinking stupidly at it and wasn’t even shocked or anything. like what. is he dreaming this?? or did he really just make a “STOP! IN THE NAAAAME OF LOVE” gesture and in doing so remove half of his brother’s jaw

ewww

idk what’s wrong with me today guys. AFO just disintegrated Yoichi, and Kudou and and OFA Tres (who apparently still doesn’t have a name???? freaking Kudou got named before you??) are literally RIGHT THERE and presumably horrified, and all I can think about is how fucking gross it is that they’re all hanging out in a fucking sewer

oh shit y’all it’s about to go down

he can’t kill Kudou right off the bat can he? does Kudou even know he has OFA yet? are we going to see him transfer it to OFA III? I’m so fucking excited omg

LOL WHAT

“weirdly matte” omg. so apparently he’s like All Might, where the “he’s just drawn differently” thing is something people actually acknowledge in-story. “yeah he actually has no pupils. that’s a real thing. technically that should mean he can’t see since pupils are what let light into your eyes, but don’t worry about that part. just know that his eyes canonically look weird to the story people as well, and everyone is creeped out by it, not just you”

yeah he’s actually blind

so he literally can’t see outside himself. way to lay those metaphors on thick, Horikoshi

(ETA: this is my “just in case my impeccably dry wit doesn’t translate well across the internet” ETA to assure everyone I know he’s not actually blind lol.)

now we’re cutting to some random city where AFO is broodingly staring at Yoichi’s severed hand because he’s perfected the art of always doing incredibly unsettling things

I cannot believe the fucking hands thing has an actual origin story. of course it does. this man has never done a single hinged thing in his life. it’s all unhinged or bust. am I talking about AFO or Horikoshi? YOU DECIDE

he’s sitting at a table with a bottle of wine holding his dead brother’s embalmed severed limb and thinking about fucking quirk shit

so your transformation from Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain happened almost completely offscreen huh. I’m kinda disappointed, ngl. I could have read a few more chapters about that. maybe a spinoff miniseries

WAIT WHAT

are you serious. we finally get a panel that’s INCREDIBLY RELEVANT to pretty much ALL OF MY BNHA THEORIES, only for that same panel to contradict itself ONE SPEECH BUBBLE LATER?? so what is the truth???

omg omg omg

so many fucking questions, omg. what the hell does “through research” even mean. how did he confirm Yoichi’s quirklessness, and why did he later change his mind? how the fuck can Yoichi have a quirk factor and yet not have an actual quirk. “it was just so weak it didn’t count or something I guess” okay??? how much of this is unreliable narrator vs. the word of god? how is it we’re getting so many answers and yet all I have is more fucking questions you guys

BRUE?CE?CEE??!

bruce

Kudou is so goddamned hot. I hope you washed the hell out of that arm wound after getting it all covered in sewage you stupid sexy man

I can’t get over Three’s name. “idk if anyone noticed, but it’s kind of a subtle homage to another very famous superhero” Horikoshi your nap wasn’t long enough, please go home

also love how Bruce is talking shit about OFA being a puny loser quirk for wimps. how the fuck do they even know what’s going on, anyway? was there a tutorial???

oh you just had a feeling huh??? that it was “something like this”, huh??? how is it that I, who knows all about OFA because I’m from the future and have read 408 chapters of this nonsense, am somehow still less in the know than this handsome clown who doesn’t know shit but just “had a feeling”

(ETA: while editing this post I noted that Bruce is sitting in front of a computer in what seems to be some sort of medical lab, so maybe they ran some tests or something? except that only makes me more confused, because it implies they didn’t actually figure out OFA’s workings via convenient plot instincts. so then how the fuck did they figure out the transfer process?? questions)

meanwhile AFO is sitting in the panel next to him whining about how someone stole Yoichi’s quirk. excuse you. he did not steal it. it was in fact a gift

these flashbacks are all jumbled up and it’s unexpectedly fun to read, but also really chaotic

I guess he’s talking to Kudou on the right and AFO on the left

so many intense closeups of eyes in this chapter oh my goodness

Horikoshi even drew the individual goddamn eyelashes. this looks like the margins of someone’s notebook from when they were really bored in middle school

oh my god the information overload!!!

so much for AFO actually feeling emotions lol. or is he just lying to himself about why he cried. that delicious ambiguity

so we don’t even get a flashback explaining how the transfer actually happened?? to either Kudou OR my beloved Bruce?? goddamn you Horikoshi. omg I would seriously kill for more of this. make a movie about it. I want the OFA origin story prequel movie damn it

I like how AFO just sits there on a throne holding court with a single tiki torch beside him for aesthetic reasons

I can’t quite figure out how he killed Banjou and I’m not sure I really want to know. it looks very violent

friendly reminder that Shinomori is Sir Not Appearing In This Flashback because he’s the only OFA user who died of natural causes! good for you Shinomori. En probably wishes he was more like you

poor En

was Nana just taking a stroll or something one day and stumbled across this epic fight with the evilest man on the planet vs some kid in a trenchcoat, and then the poor kid got bisected and he looked at her and he was all “please eat my hair” and she was just like “ok”?

OH WOW

what a transition omg

LOLLLLLLLL

you know, part of me always wondered how All Might was so certain he’d killed AFO that he apparently never bothered to confirm it. but looking at this panel now, I can understand

fjjfdzjgf

he’s sweating so much. like “okay yeah he punched the top of his face off, this is pretty bad but I’LL DO MY BEST”

BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY AWW SHUCKS

so let’s recap. over on Kacchan’s side we have “GOTTA USE THE PAIN TO WIN!!!” haha ouch. and then over here on KFO’s side we have. whatever the fuck we just experienced over these past two chapters. so basically it’s a battle between the two most deranged characters in the entire series. glorious sweet chaos

DSFJKSLDKGJL he’s now trying to figure out how the fuck they look so much alike and whether they’re actually related

“no, that can’t be it. so then maybe... this kid grows up and then somehow travels back in time...?!” HE’S JUST LIKE US FR

so now he’s saying it’s because Kacchan didn’t have character development yet the last time, but now that he does his eyes are all Full Of Determination just like Kudou’s and so we’ve basically come full circle!

transcended WHAT? :O :D :D omg I’m kidding you guys please don’t hurt me

lol

actually the more we learn about Kudou the less I personally see the resemblance now lol. because Kudou seems so calm and collected, but Kacchan is just... [gestures to literally everything about Kacchan]

so AFO’s trying to strategize, but he can’t warp Kacchan away because the only available targets are too close and he’s still got that SUPERSPEED, BOYO so it wouldn’t make a difference. lol but if you kept doing it repeatedly it might be kind of funny though

and he can’t keep fighting him either because he’s getting his ass whooped and it’s speeding up his de-aging or whatever. well you could just give up then I guess. your call, AFO

oh was that your plan?

spoiler alert for me lol. but it’s not exactly shocking or anything since he’s dying, guess he wants to abandon ship

(ETA: just FYI for anyone reading this who’s not familiar with my dumbassery, I have currently only read chapters 1 through 374 at this point in time, before skipping ahead to 403 because Kacchan came back and I lost all willpower. I am working on catching up with the rest!)

oh so now you did come up with a strategy?

lmao what the FUCK

how much of this is going to be clearer to me once I finish the chapters that I missed, and how much of it is just plain old “nope this is all brand new zero-context BnHA bullshit” lol. this looks like every single quirk AFO ever absorbed combined into one gigantic horrifying blob that forced Horikoshi to take an extra week just to draw it

oh my god!?

Kacchan hovering there bravely facing all this is giving me Gandalf “you shall not pass” vibes and I’m LIVING FOR IT

so either AFO is going to kill Kacchan for the second time right here and now, or he’s going to fail and turn back into a squishy evil baby fdslfjkls

love how All Might is all “DODGE IT YOUNG BAKUGOU!” thanks for the warning, champ. doing his part

more exploding bloodsweat closeups. are these just going to be a mainstay of Kacchan fights from now on

“are you stupid?”, when faced with [gestures to the entirety of the previous page], is possibly the best line ever uttered by anyone in the series. even better than the polite “coming through” uttered only seconds before it

ah man. you love to see it. he literally doesn’t even care. HE ALREADY DIED ONCE TODAY, AND IT CLUED HIM IN TO THE FACT THAT HE’S A MAIN CHARACTER AND ACTUALLY IMMUNE TO DEATH. sorry AFO it’s curtains for you. CURTAINS

[mytragedyperson]

You know, I think i figured out why I like Deruth. So, I've never really seen Deruth spoken about but I've seen fanfic interpretations and it almost seems like the fandom itself doesn't quite know what to make of Deruth. Some people treat Deruth from the Birth of a Hero and Deruth from LCF/TCF as separate characters and other interpretations, the one I'm more in favour of is that both versions of Deruth cared about their son, they just didn't know how to show it or fix their relationship. Cale himself acknowledges that Deruth is awkward and doesn't quite know how to speak to Cale. I personally see Deuth as someone who made mistakes following the death of Cale's mother and wanted to fix it, but couldn't figure out how, so didn't do anything, which was a mistake in and of itself. Cale starts acting like trash and Deruth again doesn't know how to handle this or fix this, since he blames himself, so, again, he doesn't fix it. And the longer it goes without him doing something, the worse the strain on their relationship gets until it ends up how we see at the first breakfast, Deruth awkwardly trying to speak to his son but unable to, as he doesn't know what to say. So what changes? Cale. Kim Rok Soo becomes Cale, realises how awkward things are and takes the first step, as he compliments breakfast, something he doesn't think about and just does to stop things being awkward but it gives Deruth an opening. It's just a short conversation, but what a difference it makes to the probably usual silent and awkward breakfasts before where no one quite knew what to say or do with Cale, and Cale, if he shows up, either says nothing or speaks only to complain about the food and then leaves.

However, this actually isn't the main thing I wanted to note. So, I've discussed the previous, Deruth's point of view. And I'm not gonna sit here and say he was good father to the original Cale or was the father he needed. He's not winning father of the year awards for original Cale, I can agree with that. Are there worse fathers? Yes, Marquis Stan immediately comes to mind. But it would be hard to say Deruth was a good father to original Cale. Now let's consider the third element here, KRS!Cale Henituse, a man mentally older than his new body, a man who only had caring parents for a few years and it's uncear how much he remembers of them, a man who was abused and mistreated, pitied, a man who's can't care about people, because if he does, something bad will happen to him. I think, in a weird way, Deruth was almost the parent Kim Rok Soo needed at the time. Let me try to explain.

So, imagine for a second a world where the Henituse family dynamics are different, healthier, happier. Maybe Deruth and Cale fixed their relationship, maybe Cale is closer with his step family. They'd be caring, nice, what a family should be. Imagine Kim Rok Soo, an orphan who was abused and had hardened himself to not care about anyone, would this not be more odd to him? Going from keeping everyone at arms length and not letting anyone in to having to show his care for parents and step siblings, something he's never experienced before. I honestly think Kim Rok Soo would've liked this less because he wouldn't know what to do when shown obvious care by a family when he's never head that relationship before. I don't know, I feel like this is more Kim Rok Soo's speed, Clearly care but still allowing that independence and freedom. Care when he gets hurt but awkward and distant. Deruth is not the father Cale needs but in an odd way, he is the father Kim Rok Soo needs at this point. Does that mean you have to like him or see him as a good father? No, it's not up to the child to fix ther relationship with their parent. But it gives less whiplash for Kim Rok Soo than a close, physically affectionate family would. Or maybe I just like him, like that he does care even if he struggles, like that he's trying even if it doesn't always seem like that. again, you don't have to like him or think he's a good parent. This is just my opinion, my interpretation. I don't know man. I've been thinking about this story all day.

On that note, and I could be wrong as someone who is not aroace and has limited knowledge on aroace, but I feel like Cale is on the aroace spectrum. we're in his thoughts for two years and not once does he consider getting in a romantic relationship. In his dream life there's nothing to do with getting married or having kids. Does this necessarily make him asexual? No there are people of all sexualities who aren't bothered about marriage or kids, but they still tend to want some sort of romantic or sexual relationship and Kim Rok Soo/Cale Henituse seems to have zero interest in this. He has kids, he has family, he has friends. At no point does he express any kind of want for a romantic or sexual partner. Could this be because he has bigger problems? Yes. Could this be because of his past and the curse? Yes. Is he the only character this applies to? No, most of the characters show no interest in romance. Because ultimately this book is not about romance, not even slightly. It's found family, it's friendship, it's fantasy but there is no romance and, yet, for most of the characters I wouldn't rule out the possibility of them having some form of romantic or sexual character. Even with Cale I'm not saying he can/will never have those relationships. But even when he acknowledges someone as being attractive, it doesn't seem sexual or anything. He says it like it's a fact, then moves on. This isn't to say I disagree with shipping Cale. I myself don't mind a little Alcale or Choi Han/Cale. Do I personally think they are romantic or sexual? Not necessarily. You can interpret things that way, but i personally like things as they are, no romantic ships but really close friendships, to me platonic love and platonic relationships are just as, if not more, important than romantic love. And, tbf, even in content where there are romantic relationships, those romantic relationships are never the most interesting part. I don't really watch or read things, like non-fanfiction things, where romance is the main point or main storyline. I used to, but as I've gotten older (I say pretending to be wise old woman at the age of 21), I've come to appreciate friendships non-romantic relationships more and it's the main reason I enjoy shows, for relationship dynamics of all kinds.

I think that's why I'm so, like, chill with shipping and fanfiction with like proships. Now, i don't personally read things like incest or age gap fanfiction. It's not for me, no thanks. But i do tend to ship different things for different reasons. So, if I say I ship something, it's not necessarily because I think they'd have a cute, happy, healthy, loving relationship. Sometimes it's quite the opposite. Sometimes it's because i know it would be toxic and unhealthy and dark and it may even be one-sided, but my god, is it interesting. Some ships i ship purely for the angst, for the way they destroy and ruin each other. Other times I go for fluffier, happier ships. I generally think, as long as you know wrong from right in real life, ship what you want, write and read the fanfiction you want to read, and avoid the fics and ships you don't want. Don't like, don't read does apply. Commenting and interacting just gives it more attention. We all know what we like and don't like. At the end of the day you can't tell someone's morals from the fictional media they interact with. Sometimes you don't want something happy and fluffy and safe. You want something angsty and dark and hard to read. That doesn't make anyone a bad person. Sorry, this has little to do with this post. I'm just tired of people saying "if you like reading about X, you're a bad person" and putting labels on people for reading and writing fictional content that doesn't hurt any real, living person

[voidedaurora]

I've been keeping my actual posts about this minimal for the time being because of some things behind the scenes but I've just been sent this mess of an announcement she's made in her discord and I thought I'd say something about it

(yes mel, I AM going to break this down considering you have a tendency to lie and skew things and say weird shit that gets looked over otherwise)

SS #1

First of all. What are you trying to do here, Garner pity? trying to get SYMPATHY and leniency for actions YOU made, things YOU did. Trying to garner sympathy as if you're the one that's been victimized in this whole thing, as much as you'd like to see yourself as a victim you are not!

Being called out for terrible things YOU'VE done does not make you a victim and does not give you any passes for anything.

Its understandable to be stressed, but you're putting this on yourself by trying to disprove things that simply cannot be because these are things that've actually happened, not random BS to take you down.

The easiest and best thing you could've and still can do in this situation is admit your wrongs and get off the internet to live in REAL life for a little and maybe seek some help for your mental so you cant hurt anyone else.

-

SS #2

Now this is just a bit odd? I know for a fact you do not have any "hidden answers everyone's looking for" bc most things of note have been presented (at least from me personally) and have already PROVEN these things did indeed happen?

(excluding the few things that were in vc unrecorded)

Things will never go back to normal, you cant even pin this on being a "stupid kid" anymore because this is behavior that has spanned across YEARS and YEARS now with no change, whenever people have tried to help you, push you in the right direction, directly explained something you're doing is wrong, etc. You've been mean and unwilling to hear anyone out and would rather live your life a hateful individual that gets to do whatever she wants without consequences or any real responsibility and attempt to improve yourself.

-

SS #3

From the time I knew you you did not bother to let people tell you when you were wrong and would get EXTREMELY aggressive and defensive when anyone would, you never took the time to understand when you did something wrong (outside of 1 or two instances) and would just do the same things again and again regardless of whether it was wrong or right just because you can, so ofc you wouldn't understand its wrong. you didn't care

As a minor myself (17, going on 18) I know where my boundaries are when speaking to people younger and know when and where not to cross that line BEFORE being an adult, so what's your excuse?

People don't expect you to "know everything" just the bare minimum of not being a fucking weirdo to minors, not sexually using people, and to have a little common sense.

It does not matter whether your old friend groups (WITH PEOPLE A YEAR BEHIND OR AHEAD OF YOU IN AGE) had sexual jokes normalized or not, you wouldn't go into a elementary school and start making sex jokes in front of minors irl right, because those are children, or would your humor that overrides normal common sense force you to make those jokes anyway? Seriously.

And spoiler (from what I've been told and shown by khai)

She still to this day makes sex jokes and remarks around and to her friends despite in private acknowledging she should stop acting like this. Its honestly disgusting she can allegedly have acknowledged to Khai that what she was doing is wrong, only to continue making jokes and doing things she shouldn't around her.

-

SS #4

This is Equally as weird as the rest of her response previously, I see where her intentions are but the way she's worded and executed it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth considering the nature of what she's been called out for (Being sexual around/to minors, Sexual abuse, etc)

Making the server 18+ would've been a great show of growth and intent to correct things from you if you hadn't gone "There'd still be some people underage within the server" , It's genuinely the weirdest way you could go about doing this, if you're making ANYTHING 18+ you cannot be allowing the people that are >18 to stay in, that completely defeats the purpose of upping the servers age considering 80% of the fans that'd even be joining your server and interacting are ALREADY going to be in there and verified.

This is basically like going "I'll make it 18+ but my fav minors can stay in!". If you were making your server 17+ and wanted to keep a couple 16 yr olds that are turning 17 soon in (and there was no nsfw in the server) that'd be okay! but when you're making anything 18+ that implies there's enough mature content in there to warrent it being 18+ and wouldn't be ok to keep minors in for that reason.

-

SS #5

No comment honestly, you did this to yourself and could've saved yourself and many others time and energy by admitting your wrongdoings, getting off the internet, and getting help instead of making up shit and trying to save face now that you've finally been seriously called out.

Must suck finally getting repercussions for your actions after years of being too "untouchable" for anyone to say something.

I've made my thoughts quite clear here, Do not go harass Quartelz or any of her friends. You may voice your opinions but please do so with humanity and maturity.

As much as you'd like me to "burn out" Mel, You're not gonna get what you want and I will keep fighting for people to see the real person you are and for you to get the consequences you've been owed for years now.

If you want to try and talk to me about everything that is still an option but It will not make me magically forgive or take back anything I've said or will say.

(unless there was a genuine misunderstanding with some part, but I highly doubt this since I've tried to keep everything I say as PROVABLE as possible)

[we-are-inevitable]

the sun still sets the same - javid WIP

“Hang on– Wait, okay, wait.”

They’re almost to the silver door before David all but drags Jack back a few feet, nearly making him bump into another person on the sidewalk. Jack turns on his heels to face David, who gently grabs his shoulders and positions him in the mouth of the alleyway between the two buildings- a bar and a dance hall. 

“Everything okay, Dave?” Jack asks, righting himself from the shoving. He’s used to being manhandled- his frat brothers believe in the love language of side-punches and dragging people arould by the collar of their shirt- but David is pretty gentle about it, and it catches Jack off guard more than it should. “Change your mind?”

“No, I just… I wanna make sure that you didn’t,” David starts, glancing over his shoulder at the sidewalk. “Change your mind, that is. I know this isn’t really your scene, and I don’t want to force you or anything.”

Jack grins, gaze softening. It’s sweet, really, that David cares like this. He’s right either way: Jack has never been to a gay bar before, let alone a drag show, but David’s birthday is next weekend and Jack can’t go to his party because he has to go to a date party with some Chi-O, so this is the next best thing. A night out together, doing something that David loves.

Jack isn’t sure he gets the appeal yet, though; he knows it’s entertaining, but why David loves men in makeup and skirts, he isn’t sure. But, hey, maybe he’ll be enlightened. 

“Dude, you really think I would’a walked all the way here to chicken out at the last minute?” Jack asks, raising a brow and crossing his arms. He sees David’s worry melt away- not completely, but enough- and the grin that takes place on his face makes Jack smile wider. “I’m a big boy, Davey. Ain’t gotta worry about me.”

David breathes out and nods. “Okay, good,” He says, and crosses his arms to mimic Jack. Jack watches him for a moment, the way his biceps flex a little as he moves and the way he cocks his hip, and he wonders for a moment how David isn’t cold just wearing a cut-up sleeveless croptop and a mesh undershirt. “In that case, we need to go over the rules.”

Jack tilts his head. “Rules. What rules?”

“First off, no judging,” David says quickly, nonchalantly holding one finger up. “Not that I think you would, but I’ve dealt with enough dickish straight guys at drag shows to not want to put up with it. Second– you’re here to see the show. I guarantee there will be plenty of straight girls looking for a gay best friend in there, and I know you’re not gay,” David pauses for a beat, “and I’m not trying to police who you flirt with or anything, but I just– I don’t, uh, want you missing out.”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on flirting with anyone anyway. We’re celebratin’ your birthday, man, tonight’s all about you,” Jack says as earnestly as he can. This isn’t how he’d want to spend his Saturday night, but it’s for David. He’d do a lot for David. “Besides, you’re actin’ like I’m not gonna be glued to your side all night. I’m out of my element here.”

“Fair point,” David acknowledges with a tilt of his head. The movement makes the glitter on his eyelids shine in the barely-there ray of neon light from the sign above, and Jack has to admit, David looks pretty good in makeup, for a dude. “Third– please try to have fun, okay? I get that drag is, like, weird, but it’s supposed to be. Frankly, I think it’s better when it’s weird. I don’t want you to be miserable just because you’re doing this for me.”

“I guarantee you, this is gonna be fun, okay? I know it’s gonna be a culture shock. It’s fine, Dave, really,” Jack assures him, then nudges his shoulder with his fist. “Let’s get inside before you freeze to death.”

David’s grin morphs into some sort of amused little smirk, a look that Jack hasn’t seen before, and he drops his arms to his sides. “Oh, that’s cute! You think gay people get cold. You’ve got a lot to learn.” 

As if he didn’t just drop an enigma of a sentence, David turns on his heels with surprising dexterity for someone in 4 inch platform boots, and walks out of the alleyway, beckoning for Jack to follow. 

And Jack does.

He follows underneath the neon pink lighting of the sign reading Mirage, and he follows in line, and he follows when the bouncer- a larger man in a black tee and leather vest- draws an X on the back of his hand, and waves them inside, and he follows as David leads him into an overwhelming mash of glitter and pop music and people who don’t look like Jack at all.

For the first thirty seconds, it’s a difficult adjustment. After that, after Jack sees the smile on David’s face? After he sees David throw his head back and laugh at Jack’s initial shock, after he sees David start to sway to the music and raise his hands as he leads Jack to the stage area? Jack decides being in this new atmosphere is the easiest thing in the world, if it means he gets to see David smile like this.

[isa-ghost]

May I humbly ask for more q!phil headcanons? 👉👈

Fuck yeah concrete >:D

Previous Sets: Set 1 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4 Set 5

M O R E

He'll go above & beyond for his friends for as long as it takes, but when a situation proves futile or hopeless, he gives up. And hates it. He feels guilty for it even when he knows there's nothing more he can do. He also HATES being helpless (it's part of why he's taking being grounded so hard)

Once his mind is made up, it's made up. It's very hard to change his mind. You practically need a PowerPoint of irrefutable facts & proof of why he should think another way

Yeah. He's stubborn. It can be infuriating. But it comes from a place of life experience, knowing what he wants, and a hint of paranoia for flavor. It's not exactly a flaw, but it does act as a detriment sometimes

And don't get him wrong, he doesn't always like being stubborn. Sometimes he just can't imagine things any other way than how he's picturing. He does feel bad sometimes about being the way he is. He has a hard time trusting things that aren't his gut or Rose

He's grown to like walks. He misses flying obv but walkies are pretty okay. He still gets to see neat stuff, and clear his head if his paranoia isn't too awful

He knows he's losing touch with reality slowly. He's just unaware there's words for it (derealization, dissociation). And he tries really hard not to think about it, it makes him sick with dread because once again, it gnaws at his ability to control his situation or himself

Btw that's one of his deepest fears if it wasn't obvious. Like yeah he has basic bitch fears that most other people have like losing loved ones or w/e, but his personal Big Fear is the loss of his autonomy. It's part of why he's an anarchist & hates the Federation, another part of why being flightless is killing him inside, and part of why Ender King scares him. Especially after Rose's most recent message (1/17/24) said EK has no vessel. Phil's mind shot right to "He needs a vessel and that vessel is me. That's what he wants."

He does NOT like acknowledging that to a degree, he & Ender King DO have things in common. He constantly rationalizes it in his brain as "I have crow brain, I collect the things that look shiny & cool. Ender King is malicious, it's not the same."

Lowkey hates the quiet. It's nice to get out of chaotic environments for bit, but that doesn't mean the silence will grant him peace. He starts getting lost in his own head, or winds up understimulated. Music is a good buffer. Ideally though, he likes having the kids or one person to bounce off of (& keep him mentally grounded when he's stressed). It's why he adventures with Fit so often.

Speaking of silence, and calling back to fears, there's something so inexplicably uncomfortable to him about footsteps that aren't his, esp in quiet. See, the admins invisible Federation workers that just monitor things, he can usually tolerate those bc it's easy to guess when it's them he's accompanied by & not an unknown presence. But man, when he knows he should absolutely be alone atm but hears movement that isn't his own, his adrenaline shoots through the roof. (Little does he know, that's Hardcore Instincts kicking in. He's used to that movement being a mob out to kill him)

Rose's Sanctuary is a fitting enough "altar" for her, so to speak. Even though she made it herself. The Goddess of Death however, Phil needs something for her. He has a locket with a wither rose engraved in it for now, he doesn't want to be questioned by his friends why there's a weird purple & black altar in his house when,,, he might have to tell them there's (an entirely different) purple & black motherfucker trying to maybe possess him who Is Very Bad. Also there's no way they'd believe he's married to a goddess. He can hear Fit laughing already.

He keeps getting distracted but he really wants to either build a practice range for bows or just. Go on a solo adventure shaking off the rust on his aim. He misses the rush of pride he gets when he snipes something so flawlessly. He also procrastinates on it when he's Not distracted bc he has the scythe & he's in love with it. (Also it's a symbol of Death Wife)

Every now and then he'll banter with the invisible Feds trying to bargain with them for the Good Shit(tm) Mexican food they had at Mexican Independence Day. Things have been so chaotic lately he hasn't gotten the chance to ask Chayanne to make them & like HELL he could successfully make them himself

That said, he's actually not a terrible cook like he claims. He just hates how laborious cooking can be LMAO.

Even so, he still really wants to cook for Missa. Purely for bonding reasons. He has no idea Missa would probably crush even harder on him, Phil still thinks they're mutually platonic.

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Trying to start a giant-ass meta on why I ship Mycroft/Albert and what there is to see of it and right off the bat I'm like...I want people to look at every single panel of their interactions.

No, it's not Sherliam levels. And BIG OLD DISCLAIMER: very little of what I'm going to present here is like "We were clearly intended to read it this way." I'll always argue that Sherliam is meant to be romantic: it hits so many well-established notes and tropes it's almost impossible to think otherwise. MycAl is a bit different. I do think it's definitely like...we're welcome and even invited to see it. But a LOT of my shipping it comes from the way I personally read and interpret things. So this is about explaining what I'm seeing that makes me ship it, rather than trying to be like "This is canon and you should agree with me." Anyway, for reference, I'll be using the official translation as far as it goes and then swapping to teawaffles' wonderful translation for the rest!

So...like right off the bat throughout the entirety of their Chapter 4 interactions their body language and expressions and ways of talking are so flirty? (Also, I still find it funny that in the manga Mycroft is introduced before Sherlock and thus Mycal is introduced before Sherliam. Older bros first lol.)

Maybe it's just that 2 decades on the internet have skewed me towards reading suggestiveness into everything, but the way Mycroft addresses Albert feels so flirtatious even if he's literally just being normal. "And what would an Indian Army official such as yourself want from an intelligence official such as myself this late in the evening?" Like...am I crazy? Does that not kinda sound like a porn intro? 😂 (This could also be Sherliam Side-effects. The way they call each other Professor and Detective in That One Scene is like...almost undeniably foreplay. Now every time anyone calls each other by title/profession/rank is this series I assume they're hitting on each other.)

But also Albert is just so...handsy throughout that scene. He's touching Mycroft's knickknacks, and just sort of limp-wristing all over the place. And I mean, I think that's just one of Albert's public-facing personas (customer service peeps, you know what's up) but it definitely lends itself to the existence of Vibes.

Anyway, there's this parallel of "You have my attention. What do you want?" that I think is kinda neat. (But look how comparatively sad Mycroft looks in the second version!!!)

Chapter 4:

Chapter 23:

Btw, in Scandal in the British Empire...why does Mycroft introduce himself to the Queen? Never mind, not why we're here. Again, my weird innuendo sensors perk up in Chapter 17 at "I did not drag you out of bed this early for nothing." Maybe it's because my perception of Victorian niceties, whether it's factual or not, is that there was this sense of avoiding talk of physical realities. We don't speak of pregnancy, we speak of "her condition" and "confinement." We don't "go to bed," we "retire." And so on. So conversely, it feels almost suggestive to even acknowledge that someone was in bed. In whatever state of undress the might imply. *Kellen Goff Sasaki voice:* OOOH how sCanDaLOus. (Mind you I DON'T believe there is anything of authorial intent in this, again, just trying to explain the factors that make me read things a certain way.)

The little mind games: Albert immediately recognizing that he's being tested, and Mycroft well aware that something is off, that he and Albert are using each other to their own ends. All juicy ship ingredients.

Then there's this...I can't articulate why it's important. But it is. Something about mouths and thoughts. If I wasn't terribly lazy, I'd go digging for examples in various manga series and I have a pretty firm suspicion that I could prove that, often, Mouth-Focus Thinking Panel + Name = Ship.

Jumping forward to the start of The Riot in New Scotland Yard (Chapter 29), Mycroft's demeanour has really changed. During the meeting at the British Museum he's radiating "I'm not angry I'm just disappointed" energy. He's tense, he's not sure if the Moriartys are enemies and when he understands their plan he seems understandably sad about it even as he accepts it. But now, he's radiating an almost Sherlock-like excitement. He's just gotten to see a miniature version of The Plan in action during the Jack the Ripper case, and it worked. He says he's just visiting Albert as an acquaintance (read: friend in Mycroftian), and that's what it feels like. They're chummy. It's cute. Also Albert teasing Mycroft over his squabbles with Sherlock when he leaves? When did Albert find out about that, hmm? (I mean, could be spying of course. But I like to think it just suggests they've talked more than we've seen.)

Annnnnd....cutting this part off here because I'm bored of it for now and it's long. I'll do the rest when the mood strikes. 😂