#because if we tag them properly and yet you still see them complaining — then you can't really do anything else for them

[blackkatdraws]

I'd also like to add something OP here has overlooked! Since the post might make some people misunderstand something very important.

It's completely fine to draw your Narrator with another Narrator in an intimate manner without it being regarded as a ship!

If the drawing you're making is NOT a ship and are instead—

A comfort art featuring your Narrator and another artist's Narrator

Your Narrator and another Narrator being in a platonic relationship and are physically or verbally affectionate with each other (I've done this a lot with my friends' Narrators, it's a personal comfort for me hehe)

Basically any drawings involving intimate Narrator-to-Narrator interaction (sorry I can't think of any other examples at the moment ╰⁠(⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠╯)

Then I think it's perfectly reasonable NOT to put a selfcest tag in your post! Just make sure to SPECIFY THAT IT'S NOT A SHIP! So other people can avoid getting confused. :3

For those people that DO draw Narrator-to-Narrator shipping (romantically and all that) then I think it's for the best that you put a selfcest tag in your post.

This is just a matter of knowing when to recognize if something is actually a ship or not, and how to probably organize which ones fit in which tags, as well as how to specify and tell that information to your audience. (It sounds complicated but I'm just telling you to add it into your post if something is a ship or not lmao)

—❥

Not to be a bummer or anything but for the artists that do this, you should probably do as this person here says!

Not saying it's bad or anything, we just need to be respectful towards the viewers who doesn't want to be exposed to this certain content if it's possible! ♡

Hello, Narraverse/Paraverse fans! I have a little request to make. Narrator shipping has become pretty popular recently! I can see you all are having lots of fun, but I'd like to ask something on behalf of the parts of the fandom not involved. Please, tag your Narrator shipping as selfcest. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't post it. Just tag it correctly! You all are putting this all in the main tags for The Stanley Parable, for every single fan of the game to see, so it needs to be tagged correctly as selfcest so those who are uncomfortable with it don't have to see it! I've heard from several people that they have been unable to use or look through The Stanley Parable's tags because they're very uncomfortable with selfcest and have no way to avoid it- There's far too many of you for them to block, and that's not a great solution, anyway! This is on a burner account to avoid direct harassment or attacks. Please understand, we aren't trying to police your fun, it's just not everyone's thing, and you're... Kinda making it everyone's thing.

[jiskblr]

Tumblr Rules for Redditors

Hello, fellow redditors! Many people are trying to tell you rules about how to Tumblr properly. Many of them are wrong, or assholes, or both. I am also an asshole but I’m going to not be one for a minute to give you some advice:

“Reblog this or you’re a bad person” and any variation on that is a violation of intergalactic law. Don’t do it. Also, refuse to comply if someone else does it.

Generally, people can see what you reblog, but cannot see what you ‘like’. A like may seem like an upvote, but it is much less significant than one, since it doesn’t affect visibility in the slightest. A like will be visible both to the OP of the thread, and to the person whose reblog you put the like on. Like promiscuously! It feels good to get likes and there’s no downside. (Unless you are a space alien AKA influencer.) There’s a setting for like visibility, but it’s still somewhat hard to find even if it’s turned on.

Tumblr nominally has the ability to browse global tags (e.g. seeing the entire site’s posts and reblogs tagged #superwholock or #reddit exodus) and to search the site for things. No one uses them and they don’t really work.

You are probably less surprised by this than denizens of literally any other website on the internet, but there’s mostly no algorithm here. Chronological order only. This now defaults to being on, but you can and should turn it off. (If you’re using the search or global tags, they might have an algorithm, but if they do, it doesn’t work. We don’t know because we don’t use them, because they mostly don’t work either.)

Anyone can have absolutely any conversation in the notes of your post that they like. This is how the website works. You are allowed to complain about it, but don’t expect anyone to humor you. I think it’s possible to make posts unrebloggable and disable replies, but this is essentially refusing to use Tumblr. If you want to do that... go ahead, I guess?

Many people have ‘DNI’ lists in their blog descriptions. This means ‘do not interact’ and indicates that they don’t want you to message them, reblog from them, reblog any posts they are OP of, or even, sometimes, ‘like’ their posts. It is good manners to respect these, if you know they exist, but in normal use you probably won’t look at blog descriptions very often so it is entirely okay to violate them by accident. (When the lists get very long, it becomes impractical to check whether you violate them. Generally, just skip it. You probably don’t want to interact with those people anyway.)

Notes on posts you start will go to you no matter how many intervening hops there are on the reblog chain. If you get a post with an enormous amount of notes, this can get overwhelming. Whatever the current incarnation of Xkit (basically RES for Tumblr except we’ve switched names and maintainers seven times) is, will have a setting to deal with this. If that’s insufficient, the suggested course of action is to reblog your OP to your own blog so that you have a copy for posterity’s sake, and then delete the OP. This silences the notes.

If you and another user both follow each other, you are ‘mutuals’. This makes it much easier to have conversations with each other, which is ordinarily sort of hard since everything is purely chronological. Frequently your mutuals are your friends; if not yet true, they may become your friends.

When you reblog things, you can write words both in the word part and in the tags, Modern tumblr norms are to write long rambling tags in full sentences rather than put words in the main body. Unlike some other norms, violating this one and putting your response in the body of the reblog is not particularly rude. The worst it does is make a reblog chain long. Probably don’t reblog things and just say “This.”, though.

Tags can be subjected to peer review, by which we mean someone copy-pastes your tags and/or screenshots them and adds them to the main body of their reblog. Generally this is a compliment. The alternative is to say “#prev tags”, and this makes everyone hate you because it’s hard to find which tags were ‘prev’. Please just peer review properly if they’re good.

If you want to search your blog, consider Siikr. Don’t overuse it, it’s one guy’s project.

Be verbose! This ain’t Twitter, no character limit. (Not even the really large character limit of a reddit comment.) Write a 3000-word story in a single reblog if you want, that sounds awesome. Use ‘read more’ if you do, though. Posts can be very long, one of our oldest memes is about this.

Infinite scroll is the default, but you can turn it off. Actually, check all the settings, many of them will improve your experience.

On queues: Go nuts. Some people put everything in the queue, some people almost nothing. Some queue specific aestheticposting (personally I do #too smol) and post other things normally. Most people who queue a lot add a queue-specific tag like #the mighty queue or #this queue shall pass, or at least I notice them more than poasters with untagged queues.

You know how Reddit lets you buy Gold and people go 'thanks for the gold kind stranger'? On tumblr we spend money on Tumblr Blaze, and it is considered the PvP section of Tumblr. Though sometimes people actually use it to spread posts they like, such as people attempting to evangelize Christianity (no, really, that happened a lot) or the, I hope, actually-kind stranger who blazed this OP. You can turn off PvP with one of the many settings.

Everybody be excellent to each other!

[heloflor]

So this was supposed to be part of my other fop post but it got way too long (both posts did tbh) and is a different topic than the other one. So yeah here’s a bunch of random thoughts about the show in general from what I’ve seen of it. For context I’ve only seen the first 4-5 episodes + “Battle of the Dimmsonian” + the Cosmo-Wanda-Peri scenes in “Lost in Fairy World” and “Operation: Birthday Takeback”.

SPOILERS for “Operation: Birthday Takeback” for the last three dashes (2.4k words below):

- Putting it in first since it’s still related to Peri but I’m pretty amused by the whole “Tumblr sexyman” situation. I mean, less than two weeks ago all canon pics we had of him were baby pics. It’s the same deal when I see people call him a father figure to Dev, I can’t help but be like “wdym father figure? He’s barely an adult! He’s too young!”

It’s like imagine you have a neighbor who have a baby when you’re 9-10, then they move out and 20 years later you meet their kid as an adult. You can clearly tell they’re an adult and treat them as such but also it’s a bit weird bc your last and only memories of them were of a baby. Idk, I see Peri’s character as an adult but also he’s still a bit of a kid, you know? I feel like I explain this better in the other post tbh.

- In retrospect it’s also very funny to see how, when people talk about the decline of fop, they point at the inclusion of the new characters, including Poof. Yet look where we are now! If you thought the baby was the problem, apologize to him, now! /j

But yeah more seriously, personally I never minded Poof. He was definitely a useless addition, like outside of the handful of episodes focused on him he mostly just stands there looking at the other characters, but he was also a cute baby, so I’ve always been fine with him being around. He’s a useless but inoffensive addition, and I think the decline of the show around that time had less to do with him and more to do with the writing as a whole.

- Last thing about Peri before moving on to the show in general, which tbh I could've put in the other post: I've seen people talk about the idea of Hazel and Dev switching fairies and I kind of agree with it.

Not only because Cosmo and Wanda have the experience needed to help a kid like Dev (though it wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows) while Hazel's situation is easier for Peri, but also it's worth noting that Dev needs a parental figure, which Cosmo and Wanda can be, while Hazel misses her older brother, who Peri is around the same age of. Idk, I feel like this could work, or at least make things easier for everyone involved (but also especially for Dev).

- Something I originally wanted to put in the tags of the other post but fuck it: I’m really not a fan of them releasing the episodes so soon one after the other. With serialized shows, I’m always been more of a fan of having an episode a week you can chew on and theorize about, rather than being given everything at once. Also it takes a while for the cargo to get on the ships if you catch my drift.

I’d also complain about seeing all those plot-related episodes one after the other with none of the more casual stories in-between that give us more character moments, but honestly that’s on me for looking up spoilers.

- Going to the early show, I think the first episode is such a good introduction! I especially like the amount of focus on Cosmo and Wanda, it’s good to have them reintroduced given how flanderized they became in the og show. I’m especially happy with Cosmo! He arguably had it worse than Wanda in the og and it’s so good to see him shine this much in this first episode (also I love his human form having a bit of a gut)! On that note, they did a fantastic job having them around a lot while still giving Hazel enough time to be introduced properly and get us to care about her as the MC!

But yeah I really like this first episode, fantastic beginning to the show! The only issue I “really” have with it is the way Cosmo and Wanda go back to being godparents just because Hazel made a strong enough wish or something, it felt a bit arbitrary rather than them just telling her who they are.

And on that note, big fan of that one scene where they immediately notice her trying to run away and try to talk her out of it. I love the contrast between them starting off as disasters being barely capable of passing off as humans at the beginning of the episode, and them being perfectly in their element the second they start talking to Hazel about her running away in this scene. It’s such a good way to see how much experience they have with taking care of kids!

- I’m not going to go episode by episode but one thing that bothers me a lot in the second one is that rule of “kids should get whatever they wish for”. Doesn’t that...go against the whole concept of having rules in the first place???

They should’ve replaced it with something along the lines of “a kid should always get the fairy that fits them the best”, not only bc it would work perfectly well for the episode, but also from what I’ve heard Foop (now Irep) is coming back and I could 100% see him use that rule to his advantage given Peri and Dev were such a bad match (I’m guessing anti-fairies don’t actually follow Da Rules but maybe they could still use it as an excuse regardless since fairies do have to follow them or something?)

- Call we talk about the fact Hazel is clearly autistic? Like is this a canon thing in the show? Are there people out there talking about it? No because seriously:

The fidget toys (Cosmo and Wanda’s disguises), her special interest for rocks, her anxiety over making new friends which is reinforced as uncommon when that one girl she befriends comments on how easy and not scary it is to approach other people (also Hazel’s “what am I supposed to talk about with them? School lunches?” comment in the teachers friend episode), her liking for fries which could be seen as her being potentially picky (bit of a stretch tho), her comment about liking the DMV if only for the reaction she gets that makes her seem “different”, her struggles to come up with a wish on the fly with minimal/vague instructions (episode 2), her character arc throughout the show apparently having to do with her not wanting things to change (me too girl), her being considered mature for her age, the angry outbursts when things don’t go how she hoped, pretty sure there’s also a lot of stimming that I have yet to pick up on (see if any of them repeat often). Like, there’s no way ALL of that was a coincidence!

I’d also like to mention at the beginning of the Dino episode, when her dad is explaining things to her, he starts talking louder and louder in excitement until his wife tells him to quiet down. Makes me think her dad’s likely neurodivergent as well. Also this moment hurts my soul a bit, as someone who’s both been on the receiving end of it and done it to someone else, in both cases it sucks.: /

- Took me until like episode 4 to realize the town she lives in is named after the Dimmadomes, with the hat in it (the very first shot of the intro). Also you can see their infinite house in the background, both in that shot and the show in general, and I absolutely adore that they committed so hard to this joke! That giant ambiguously-shaped-like-a-hat skyscraper that we never see the top of is just *chief kiss*.

- On that note Dev’s introduction in the first episode made me laugh, if only for the references. I also find it kinda funny he has such a big speaking role considering he doesn’t do anything for the rest of the pilot and the next few episodes. Then again I guess it’s in character for him to make such a show of introducing himself.

- Still on general stuff, I’m a bit curious about how the timeline went in regards to Cosmo and Wanda retiring and going on vacation “right after” Timmy (iirc they don’t voice it like that in the show). Like I’m having a hard time believing they would just ditch their then-child son to go on vacation, and then come back when he’s an adult. So I ended up having a bunch of headcanons.

Basically, after leaving Timmy they do take what was supposed to be a short leave to think of their future since it feels strange to get a new kid after so long with the same one + I like the idea that Cosmo and Wanda’s marriage did suffer while living with Timmy and they want to work on it before getting a new kid (the whole thing about them feeling confined, made worse if the “stopping time for 50 years” wish is canon) + Poof/Peri is struggling with the reality of having to leave Timmy behind and is nervous about his parents having a new godkid because of it.

Eventually they decide to retire, got to marriage counseling, possibly get Poof/Peri into therapy, and raise their son until he’s an older teen/young adult, at which point they leave for their vacation. And while the vacation is 10 thousand years for them, it’s like, 5 years at max in their present. And in that meantime, Peri starts his godparents studies (or however it works), leaves the house and changes his name.

Btw Cosmo and Wanda would 100% invite him to the vacation, he’d just refuse in a mix between wanting to be away from his parents for once, wanting to maybe surprise them a bit with his work and/or just get started with work, and not knowing how long the vacation would be. He’d also probably tell them to just use this time as some new honeymoon to finish rebuilding their marriage (though by that point it must’ve gone back to being strong). Oh and Cosmo and Wanda would send Peri postcards every so often, which would also let him know how long they’ve been gone.

Once they come back from vacation, I’d imagine there’s like less than a month between them “moving to the human world” and meeting Hazel, hence why they didn’t reconnect with Peri. They didn’t really know how to contact him and were busy with the move, and afterwards they had a godkid to take care of so they couldn’t exactly go back to Fairyworld.

As for Peri, he hears through the gravepine that his parents are back, and would be happy until he realizes they’ve been gone for 10 thousand years, hence him freaking out about meeting them again (he doesn’t know how much they might’ve changed with how long it’s been). Also he can’t contact them bc he’d hear about them coming back due to them taking in Hazel, meaning they’re in the human world and he doesn’t know where. Also he might be intimidated to contact them, which doesn’t help his decision-making.

So yeah, that’s all for how I could imagine this whole vacation thing going and how it fits with them having a child.

- Since I’m talking about Cosmo and Wanda’s marriage, I’ve heard about the whole “they fixed their marriage” before watching the show and oh my god I can’t get over how fucking adorable those two are in this show!!! I fucking love them.

- And on that note I’m incredibly amused that this show had the balls to reference the mpreg. Twice. Especially since it doesn’t even specify the whole “that’s just how fairies work”! In the eyes of people who never watched the og show, “A New Wish” just casually dropped the fact that Cosmo’s a trans man (bc let’s be real, how else are you supposed to interpret those lines if you haven’t watched the og show?) or you get the vibe that the writers wanted to make him trans (+ Wanda by proxy since she’s Peri’s bio mom) but weren’t allowed so that’s how they got past the censors.

And I love this because you just know Hartman would be furious about it! With our current society more aware of trans people and how men can in fact get pregnant, I could definitely see him sweep the whole mpreg thing under the rug, hoping people would forget about his “”accidentally-progressive”” (and also very sexist 😒) episode, but nope! New show said Cosmo was pregnant and gave birth! And better yet it didn’t even elaborate further! It just goes “btw this guy has an uterus and was once pregnant, here’s his bio child if you need more proof” and then walks on like nothing happened, I love it!

- Going back to the episodes talk for the last three dashes, there’s that shot at the very end of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” that I really dislike. It’s the one when Dev lashes out on Peri, with him hovering over Peri who’s laying on the ground in fear.

Really not a big fan of this shot bc 1. It makes Dev look way too much like a villain, especially with the way Peri’s laying like a servant that gets beaten up, and 2. Peri, honey, you’re a grown ass man; why are you so scared of that 10 years old scarred kid that’s lashing out while in a very vulnerable mental state? What are you doing on the ground buddy? I’m not asking for him to fight back but at least stand up! Don’t act like that kid can actually hurt you! Btw I’m completely fine with Peri afterwards looking like a dejected puppy (after Dev makes his wish), it’s just that one shot with him on the ground that I dislike.

- Obviously I’m genuinely curious to see how things are going to go in the next episodes (which apparently air tonight?). Like obviously Dev is going to spiral but if you have a scene at school how will it go? How will Hazel feel about the whole thing? What about Peri? Is he going to be gone for a few episodes? Be a temporary third fairy to Hazel? Crash at Cosmo and Wanda’s for a while?

(Personally I’m hoping for the third option, it would be a good way to still give him appearances to show the main plot’s still going without giving him to much screentime, which could take away from Hazel. Also given how much he wants to appear independent, I don’t see him being a third fairy to her, though I think he’d be ok with staying at his parents for a bit, if only for emotional support (though tbh I doubt they’ll do that, most likely he’ll be doing his own thing off-screen for an episode or two). Also I want to see a “human” design for him)

OK so I wrote this yesterday before the Irep episode came out, so on one hand nevermind all that but on the other hand I’m letting it in bc I AM curious as to how things are going to evolve with our main cast, especially with Dev spiraling and pushing both his bestie and fairy away.

- Btw is nobody going to talk about how Vicky’s dress might be a reference to one of the “Oh Yeah” shorts?

- VERY LAST SECOND ADDITION, SPOILERS FOR IREP: So yesterday before I finished both this and the other post the new episodes dropped, with a few clips shared on Tumblr. And OH MY GOD IREP’S DESIGN!!! The fact that they kept him as a cube makes me so happy!!! I was HOPING at least ONE part of him would be a cube and they delivered!!! He looks like absolulte dogshit I love it!!! Bc yeah for some reason I remember Foop as a character you’re not supposed to take seriously at all? And as a result I really like how stupid Irep looks. A+ design right there! /gen

[rogueddie]

Established Relationship Steddie Fics

Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 💌

love confessions in line

steddieas_shegoes

“Why do we have to be here so early? My dinner hasn’t even digested properly yet,” Robin complained.

And, okay. It was cold and there were a lot of people standing in line outside of the only Walmart carrying the very specific guitar amp Eddie wanted. He’d called every Walmart in Indiana. Multiple times.

But he had to go all out for Christmas this year. Eddie had already said he’d gotten Steve something he’ll never outdo, never even believe. Obviously, that meant Steve had to do better than the Metallica hoodie that was stashed in his closet for the last four months.

Words : 1,369 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Guts

AnnetheCatDetective

After a difficult visit from his parents, Steve relearns loving his recovering body. Just knowing he's wanted the way that he is isn't enough... but getting outside of himself might be.

Words : 2,578 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

fixer-upper

mourningshowers

Steve wakes up the morning of their two-month We-Finally-Got-Our-Shit-Together anniversary to find Eddie staring at him, crouched over at the foot of the bed with his round unblinking eyes like a fucking gargoyle. It should be creepy. Steve is used to this, though, so now it’s just kind of a thing that Eddie does.

“What,” Steve says groggily, wiping the drool from his mouth.

“Nothing, angel, go back to sleep,” Eddie trills.

Words : 20,596 Chapters : 3/3 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

your electric touch

sourw0lfs

“Don’t move! Whatever you do, Eds, do not fucking move!” Steve hollers from his spot in the doorway.

Without a question, Eddie freezes, eying him with a questioning gaze. He’s standing somewhere between the pool and the house, trying and failing to find what has so much fear working its way into Steve’s face.

“One of the lines just snapped and fell,” Steve explains, eyes on the area around Eddie but never directly on him. “Right into the puddle.”

Words : 1,093 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

if i ain't got you

vampbites

He shuts the fridge and turns around to lean against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest, letting out a quiet sigh. Eddie’s back is turned to him so he can only see the movement of his shoulders as he scrubs the dishes harder than he ought to.

He’s still pissed, then.

Words : 1,425 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences

AO3 : x

The Photo File

Crowgirl

‘When were you going to tell me?’

Words : 1,633 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences

AO3 : x

Stimming

hotluncheddie

He’s on the couch, it’s dark, he actually feels really comfortable, and he’s watching The Breakfast Club. Watching it again. It’s his favourite, it feels like his. But he doesn’t like watching it with other people because they might notice how much he likes it and he doesn’t want that. Can’t be seen like that.. Embarrassing.

So he watches it alone, when he gets home from work. He pauses whenever he wants, rewinds, pauses. Takes a deep breath, rewinds, pauses, stares into space.

Words : 2,547 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

checking it twice

cranberrymoons

“Hi,” he says, and – fuck. It’s only been a couple months, hasn’t it? How is he already –

“Hey,” Eddie says. His smile matches Steve’s as he comes around the counter, slinging a dish towel over his shoulder as he goes. He catches Steve around the waist. “You look nice tonight.”

Words : 661 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

The Cat

digitaalbe

the one where Eddie Munson finds a cat, and then he keeps it.

Words : 1,538 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences

AO3 : x

Dustin Henderson vs The Apocalypse... Probably

writteninthewolfstar

Dustin wakes up from a movie night with the Party to find he's all alone in Steve's house. With no other logical explanation, he must conclude that he is the only person left on the planet... Until he goes upstairs to find something even more horrifying-

His best friend making out with his Dungeon Master!

Words : 1,620 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

[thatuselesshuman]

Friday Kiss Tag

Pov: me explaining how I'm going to do the Friday kiss tag without having a single kiss to ever share

Anyways, thank you for the tag @wyked-ao3 @agirlandherquill @sableglass and @the-golden-comet

This week, I shall write how I imagine the first kiss between Five and Zero would go. This isn't a part of canon, since I'm writing it specifically for this, but I hope you still enjoy my attempt at writing anything past a hug (I've never written a proper kiss in my life)

Slight warning for a bit of steam under the cut. Nothing too bad, Five's just thirsty

The two sat on Zero's bed, Five leaning against Zero's chest while Zero played with a hand-held puzzle that looked as old as he was. “How old is that puzzle? It looks like it predates the Selim Empire,” Five asked, miming coughing from the non-existent dust. Zero didn't answer for a minute, finishing whatever step he was on before responding. “That's because it does,” He said wryly. “You forget that I built the Selim Empire.” Five grumbled at that, a faint mumbled ‘old man’ among the grumbling. Zero ignored him, continuing to play with the puzzle.

They sat for a few more minutes in comfortable silence before Five started to get agitated. “This is boringggg,” he complained. “We should do something more exciting.” Zero paused what he was doing and looked down at Five, more for Five's benefit than his, since he couldn't truly see. “And what do you suggest we do that's more ‘exciting’?” Zero asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, while Five reached up to take his mask off. Five thought Zero was plenty hot with the mask on, him having the mysterious vibe going on, but without the mask? Five couldn't be trusted.

“Hmmm, I do have an idea,” Five said mischievously, sitting up so he was face to face with Zero. Zero raised an eyebrow, but didn't move away. Instead, he set aside his puzzle. Five sat back on his legs, his hands going to Zero's waist. “I think you should kiss me,” Five said confidently. Zero seemed even more intrigued than before. “And why is this coming about?” Zero asked, leaning in closer to bridge the distance that Five had put between them when he sat back. “Because,” Five said primly. “We've had this thing going on for a few months and you have yet to kiss me. It's rude to leave a guy hanging like that, you know.”

Zero simply shrugged at that. “You never asked,” He said by way of explanation. Five rolled his eyes, not designing that with a response, and instead just closed the gap between them and sealed their lips together. Both of their eyes immediately fell closed. The kiss was nothing special, an experimental peck on the lips, but both of them seemed almost shocked when they pulled back. Zero was the first to school his expression, it turning into a taunting grin. “Is that the best you can do? Weren't you an infamous player?”

Five scowled and took it as a challenge. He surged to meet Zero's lips, immediately more heat behind the kiss. Five's hand went up to grab Zero's jaw, tilting it up to meet his so he could have a better angle. Zero pressed further into Five's space, but the angle was awkward. After a little bit, Five pulled away again. He didn't give Zero time to comment again before he was swinging his leg over Zero's legs and sliding into his lap, now properly above him. Faint blush dusted Zero's face and ears, which Five had the sudden urge to make worse.

Five stared down at Zero, running a thumb over his jaw. Apparently, he sat there just staring for a while, since Zero began to become agitated. “Don't just stare,” Zero said with furrowed brows. Five grinned, taking the demand for the win it was. “Just because you're a bitter blind old man doesn't mean I have to be. I want to be the fun old man, the one who drags your ass out to parties,” Five declared happily, leaning in so that their faces were mere inches apart. Five could feel the slight, uneven breath from Zero dusting his face. Saints the things he would do to this man.

Zero made a noise of discontentment. “Yeah well how about you be the old man who gets moving, hm?” Zero teased, hands going to Five's waist. Five scoffed. “Do I have to do everything around here? Lazy ass,” He complained before swooping down to kiss Zero again. Zero pressed their chests together, getting rid of any molecule of space between them. Five grinned into the kiss, pleased with the outcome of his suggestion. It was infinitely more exciting than that damn puzzle.

@moltenwrites @willtheweaver @illarian-rambling @katenewmanwrites @drchenquill +open tag

[silver-heller]

On Navigating AO3

I've gotten what feels like the millionth comment about two issues, in particular, from people who are just starting to read on Ao3 but don't actually know how to navigate the site.

So, and know I am saying this with affection...

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, READ FIC INFORMATION! AND GO TO AUTHOR PAGES, I AM BEGGING YOU!

To start off, this box is the first thing on the page when you open a fic, and it feels like so many new users just skip over it despite its importance:

This lets you know the fic's age rating, archive warnings, the types of relationships within the fic, the fandom, the relationships, the characters, additional tags, language, if it's a part of a series or not, and the stats. You are doing fics a disservice by reading them without this information.

PS: & is for platonic and / is for romantic.

However, Ao3 sometimes misrepresents what part of a series a fic is in, so I am begging people to please just click into a series if they feel they are missing some context.

Ao3 is littered with spaces for information, so don't think we're finished just yet. Below the title is the summary (fic description) and note area which will include the beginning notes or will let you know if there are notes at the bottom of the fic (both written by the author), all of which can give extra context:

Also, at the bottom of a fic that is a part of a series, there are two links, one to the previous fic and another to the series. The part number is also more accurate. Please use them:

It drives me up the wall how "previous work" is right there, and so many people don't click on it but go to comment about how confused they are anyway.

I know no one means any harm but, as a fic writer, it is exhausting to have to deal with people complaining my fics "make no sense" when they put no effort into understanding the actual context, or sometimes anything about the fic.

Another thing that is exhausting? Getting comments that are the equivalent of "I really hope you write more for this fandom! I love how you write the characters, I wish I could read more of it from you," when I have multiple other fics for that fandom. So, let's look back at that fic title, shall we? Right below it is the author name, and it's a link:

If you want to see more works by that author, you can click on their author name (in this case, All_Nightmares_Start_As_Dreams) to look through their profile. One of the first things you will encounter is their fandom list and, by clicking on fandoms, you can see their other works for that fandom. On the list, it will also put how many fics they have for that fandom next to its name:

Yes, I do get this comment about Lackadaisy fics despite having written 147 of them lol.

Now, you might not be able to see someone's full catalogue of fics because they have some fics locked, meaning only registered users can view them. Personally? I have some of my fics locked for this reason. Guest commenters tend to not only not understand how to use the site, but ignore the information laid out in front of them. I have some series I am very dedicated to writing and, quite frankly, I do not have the energy to constantly explain to guest commenters the set of series I've raveled myself in lol. Please prove me wrong, start using your tools!

But also...please just register for an account. You can still keep using Ao3 as a guest while you wait to get your email with the invite, but at least, eventually, you will have an account. This will help you start using Ao3 more and understanding how it all works so you can more properly follow your favorite writers and save your favorite fics. You can even start posting for yourself, yay! It's free, and you'll get access to more fics, you have nothing to lose.

[nerdferatum]

Books recommendations

Thank you for the tag, @veeples ! I have a few books to add to my TBR now thanks to your post.

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @plasticdodecagon and @lookingforsomethingcuzimbored

1. The last book I read:

More days at the Morisaki Bookshop, by Satoshi Yagisawa. I really enjoyed the first book, but unfortunately this one didn't hit the same. I'm also blaming the translation, which was weird and definitely made some choices. Most people reviewing it seem to like it even more than the first one, though.

2. A book I recommend:

This is how you lose the time war by Amal El-Mohtar. It's such an emotional story. I really liked how the author uses common techniques and tropes in such a unique way that I finish the book knowing that no other book would feel the same. I often struggle to connect with the characters in epistolary literature, but this book is one of the few exceptions. And the world building is incredible.

3. A book that I couldn’t put down:

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. I have to agree with Vee, Six of Crows (and the sequel, Crooked Kingdom) are such fun reads. You have fantasy, heists, humour, realistic romances... It was the first time reading a book about teenagers as an adult that I thought that only a bunch of problematic teens could pull this off.

4. A book I’ve read twice (or more):

Dracula, by Bram Stocker. If you are into fantasy and want to read a classic, you should read Dracula. As much as I also love Carmilla, knowing what we do about vampires, seeing how much of Dracula has impregnated our pop culture, this book is almost a comedy. Don't get me wrong, it is scary and there is more gore that I would have assumed for my first read, but it's almost better when you already know what's going on. And seeing the source of our current vampire knowledge (or most of it) is very interesting. Also there's a cowboy.

5. A book on my TBR:

Stone butch blues, by Leslie Feinberg. I've seen it recommended everywhere by older queer people, but it was never in stock. So when I saw it a couple moths ago, I had to buy it, and this time it's not only going into my collection, I plan to read it.

6. A book I’ve put down:

Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie. I don't like not finishing books. Even when I don't like them, I try to finish them so I can complain properly. I couldn't do that with this one and it pains me because I love Agatha Christie. I've read all the books available in my library. I tried to read it after the movie came out and was so disappointed. Maybe it was the digital format that took me out of the story, but it hasn't happened with any other Christie book. It was so slow and I couldn't get invested.

7. A book on my wishlist:

Señoras ilustres que se empotraron hace mucho tiempo, by Christina Domenech. The translation would be "Fancy ladies who banged a long time ago". It's an illustrated book about historical sapphic women throughout history. I have the two other books by this author, and her sense of humour mixed with the respect towards these women and the emotionality of finding yourself everywhere in history are such a good combination. I don't think they have been translated to English, but if anyone understands spanish, they should consider a read. The only reason why I don't own this one yet is because illustrated books are so expensive that I haven't come up with an excuse yet.

8. A favorite book from my childhood:

Kika Superwitch, by Knister. I can't choose one because all of them were so important to me as a kid. I wanted to be Kika so badly. She was incredibly cool and brave on top of being a modern witch. I also loved the little tricks at the end of the books when they taught you how to do "magic" with ordinary tools and ingredients. I still have all of them.

9. A book you would give to a friend:

The adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty. I don't have a particular reason aside from knowing that my friend will love this book because I loved this book. It isn't the type of fantasy we are used to see here, so I think she will appreciate the change.

10. A book of poetry or lyrics you own:

Rhymes and Legends by Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer. I have stupid beef with this man, but he has a unique way of create the atmosphere for his stories. He will transport you to that place.

11. A nonfiction book you own:

Señoras que se empotraron hace mucho by Christina Domenech. Sorry, I don't read too much non-fiction. These two books became my favourite when for one entry, the author introduced a writer by saying they didn't the world to intrude into their life, so she wouldn't tell us their story. The project started as curiosity from a literature student who never saw herself in the stories and people talked about in class, so she started her own research. Still, she decided to respect the privacy of this person because, even if they lived a long time ago, they still deserved our respect.

12. What are you currently reading:

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater. It's actually a buddy read and I'm so curious about this re-read. It's been ten years since I read the series for the first time and it's been fun to see what 18-year-old me decided to underline or how I've changed my mind about certain things.

13. What are you planning on reading next:

Either the next Raven Cycle book or The Flood by Michael McDowell. I don't know if it's been just a local thing, but this series blew up a few weeks ago, everyone is so excited and I finally got the first one as a gift. So here we go.

[radiant-reid]

I posted 2,107 times in 2022

That's 1,747 more posts than 2021!

2,047 posts created (97%)

60 posts reblogged (3%)

I tagged 2,060 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#spencer reid - 965 posts

#rr answers - 701 posts

#criminal minds - 590 posts

#spencer reid x reader - 350 posts

#spencer reid x you - 291 posts

#spencer reid x y/n - 287 posts

#spencer reid fandom - 277 posts

#spencer reid blurb - 156 posts

#spencer reid fanfiction - 129 posts

#spencer reid headcanon - 127 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I NEED a blurb where reader is just shocked how good Spencer is in bed and after he's done literally beating her back in he's all like "so there's this new film I think we should go see" and reader is still in shock and is like speechless Cate. I need this.

this would be such a spencer thing

Spencer flops down on the bed next to you, running a hand through his hair to get it situated properly again.

You lay next to him, trying to regulate your breathing and get your heart rate under control before you have to go to the hospital. A sex injury is not something you want to explain to the team.

"So I was thinking we should start the new season of Doctor Who because even though it's not all out yet, we'll miss some nights on cases." Spencer starts, and it takes you hitting his chest for him to stop.

"That's what you're thinking about?" You ask, out of breath as you pant.

He looks at you strangely, frowning. "Are you okay? You sound kind of out of breath."

You scoff shallowly. "You literally just rearranged my guts, and you're asking me why I'm breathless?"

Spencer blushes at the dirty euphemism like he hadn't just made you cum so hard you cried. "Sorry." He apologizes.

"I'm not complaining." You assure him, shaking your head. "It was amazing. You just clearly have a lot more stamina than me."

"Better tell Morgan that next time he's telling me I'm unfit." He jokes.

"Oh yeah." You agree sarcastically. "I'll tell our colleague all about our sex life."

Spencer grimaces. "On second thought, maybe not. I think I'll keep how good I can fuck you as our little secret."

2,738 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#4

Secret Life

Summary: The team accidentally stumbles upon Spencer, a mystery woman, a mystery girl, and a decade-long secret

hii!! I've had this idea for some time in my head and you write spender Reid so good I just had to send it here. :) What if Spencer has been dating someone in secret for a long time, they even have a kid, but they decided to only tell their parents about it to protect his parter and kid from his job and one day they visit him at work and the entire team is confused because since when does Spencer have a wife and kid?

A/n: thank you so much !! and thank you for this request, i'm a sucker for hidden relationships

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

Content Warning: nothing ?

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist Navigation

"Coat, sweetie, you need your coat." Y/n directed the young girl away from sitting on the couch and towards the coat rack in the entryway.

"Momma, don't wanna." She replied, pouting as she dragged her feet across the wooden steps towards to front door.

It was difficult for Y/n not to laugh, especially when she'd seen her father do the exact same expression. Mostly when she tried to get him to stop working or go to sleep. Both of them were stubborn, although most people wouldn't be able to pick it on first meeting them.

"What did daddy tell you?" Y/n asked, handing her the light pink woolen coat to put on before putting her own on.

"That it's cold because the northern hemisphere is tilted slightly away from the sun, and the rays come in at an angle that lowers the amount of solar radiation reaching the surface." She repeated verbatim even if she didn't totally understand the scientific definition. Even when she was two, Spencer suspected she had an audiographic memory. "And I have to wear a coat." She recited, annoyed about it.

When she looked back up at her mom, Y/n was looking in the mirror, criticizing her face. Silently, of course, to avoid giving her daughter a complex. "What did daddy tell you?" She questioned, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

"That we are the most beautiful girls in the world," Y/n spoke, unable to stop the grin her face broke out into. She looked down at the little girl. "Don't you forget that either."

"So, can we go?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest in the same way Spencer did when he was being sassy. It was something Y/n loved about both of them, although she refrained from telling them.

Y/n shrugged her light pink coat over her shoulders, bracing herself for the chilliness that was DC in late January. "Okay then." She replied, quickly looking at the little girl to ensure she was dressed in enough warm clothing. A thermal shirt, sweatpants, a kids Caltech sweatshirt, and her coat were enough.

After a car ride without much traffic, brewing anticipation, and some helpful commentary provided by Spencer's mini-me, they were at the FBI. Y/n roughly knew where to go, but the receptionist checked her ID and directed them to the sixth floor.

Both of them were excited on the elevator ride, exchanging wide grins as the mission to surprise Spencer came closer. A quick glance around confirmed Y/n's hypothesis that the floor was deserted aside from her husband. The first step in their plan-previous decided in the car- started as soon as the elevator doors opened.

It relied on Y/n and the hope that she could walk through the glass doors and behind Spencer without being heard as she carried their daughter. Probably because he was in such deep thought, it worked.

Silently, Poppy wrapped her hands around his eyes, making him jump in surprise, no doubt scared about who was behind him. He relaxed when he realized the fingers were 5-year-old size.

"Guess who, daddy?" She asked, trying to disguise her voice by deepening it, which sent both her parents into a fit of giggles. Spencer was quick to shut the case file on his desk that, thankfully, didn't contain any pictures. His mind was instantly off the brutal double homicide and on his family.

"Well." Spencer pretended to consider it. "There's only tw-one, there's only one person in the world that calls me that. So, I'm going to guess that it's Miss Poppy Rae Reid." He decided to use her full name to make the guess official.

With a cheer from the correctly identified girl, she scrambled to get out of Y/n's arms. She wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck and her legs around his waist so she could tightly hug him. Spencer held her small figure just as tight, resting their noses together when she untucked her head from his neck. Watching them, Y/n's heart was filled with love as she suddenly wanted another baby.

Spencer placed a kiss on the little girl's forehead, having to push back brown curls that paralleled his own. "What are you doing here?" He asked, glancing up at Y/n.

Poppy bet her to an answer. "Mommy said that if I finished the last four chapters of Geronimo Stilton, then we could come here to get you and get hot chocolate on the way home."

"I did underestimate how quickly we'd get through it." Y/n mentioned.

Spencer laughed loudly, looking at his daughter, whose expression grew increasingly guilty for a reason Y/n didn't know. "You were tricked, lovely." He answered before she had to ask, smiling at her. "We finished it last night, didn't we?" He asked, looking back to Poppy with a pointed look. She dramatically pouted, resting her head on his chest so she could look up at both of them with innocent eyes.

"We should have called you mischief." Y/n joked, reaching down to tickle her.

She squirmed on Spencer while she giggled. "M-make her s-stop." She pleaded to her dad between laughter, getting Y/n to stop.

See the full post

2,767 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#3

What's in a name?

Summary: Spencer accidentally gets misidentified by a little kid whose mom means the world to him

reader has that weird super friendship/seems like a relationship type thing with spencer. Reader is like a social worker member of a BAU who adopts a baby/toddler from a bad case that everyone adores and it randomly starts calling spencer daddy because the baby sees him so often

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

Content Warning: little bit of usual cm case details |

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist Navigation

The first time Y/n met her future son, she legitimately cried. The little boy was so vulnerable, with the only thing he'd had to call a mother taken from him by the serial killer the BAU were hunting down.

Lots of the kids she came into contact with were troubled, but sweet, six-month-old Beckham needed someone. He didn't have a dad listed on his birth certificate, and his mom was a runaway with no family.

As part of her job on cases involving children, she often had to give them over to the foster care workers, and she knew how bad the system usually was.

Y/n was fully committed to going to Hotch to plead with him before they had to leave. Leaving Beckham with Spencer, she found Hotch in the boardroom they were occupying.

"Hotch, I need to talk with you." She announced, parading as much confidence as she had as she shut the door.

His face showed a bit of concern as he looked up from his paperwork at her. "What's wrong?"

"It's Beckham. I want to take him back to DC with me, adopt him and raise him." She spat out quickly but firmly.

"L/n." He replied in a flat tone.

It sounded too much like a warning for her to not interrupt and try to persuade him. "He doesn't have any family, and I've spent enough time with him this week to know he's sweet. I know raising a baby is a lot of work, but I have time, money, and love, and I just can't watch him go into foster care when I know that I can give him a better life." She persisted, not taking a breath until she finished her sentence.

"Y/n." Hotch stopped her when he used her first name. "I think it's a great idea."

"Oh." Y/n realized, letting her frown change to a smile when she realized what he'd just said. "So I can adopt him?"

He nodded slightly. "I know a good lawyer who can help you, too. I'll give you her number."

~

Her very best friend in the world, and the easiest option for godfather, Spencer, helped her right from the start.

"Is this a crazy thing to do?" She asked as they sat on the floor the first night, putting together the expensive, oval-shaped, white wooden crib that she'd brought. Beckham was in the car seat carrier she'd had to buy when they were still in North Carolina, before they drove back to DC.

Spencer glanced at her for a moment like he was trying to figure out the correct answer, but then he looked at the baby and how Y/n looked at him when she rocked the car seat carrier.

The answer was simple after he admired her for a second. "No."

"Good, because I trust your judgment." She almost absentmindedly told him, but Spencer knew he'd be thinking about it for the rest of the week. "Even if I am kind of scared about this." She confessed.

"You're going to be an amazing mother, Y/n." He assured her with a smile, one that made her heart flutter just a little bit.

Trying to hide the blush on her cheeks, she laughed. "I trust your judgment even more now." She joked, earning a chuckle from him.

Not only was Spencer her (now second) favorite person, he also had a degree in Engineering which should have made him skilled at building furniture. However, she found that wasn't true when it was 11 o'clock before the crib was built.

As gently as she could, she picked up the tiny baby and lay him down where he'd be sleeping for a while. The first stable home he'd ever had.

She was crying then, too, looking down at the adorable baby. "Is it crazy that I love him so much already?"

See the full post

2,838 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

#2

The Private Side of a Secret Life

Part 1

Summary: After the ladies of the BAU take Spencer's mystery wife out and learn some... new things about their colleague, the Reids get to work on making their fantasy a reality.

A/n: I just want to say a very quick thank you to all of you amazing people who loved part 1 and inspired me to write a part two. Enjoy  🤍

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (SMUT 18+)

Content Warning: vomiting | swearing | NSFM (breeding kink, daddy kink, unprotective penetrative sex, slight fingering)

Word Count: 3.1k

MasterlistNavigation

"Spencer, seriously, I'll be fine." Y/n attempted to assure him for the fourth time, trying to wave him out of the bathroom so she could continue to apply her mascara without his watchful gaze.

Despite the reassurance, he grimaced. It wasn't that he didn't trust Y/n because he absolutely did and had for some years or that he didn't have faith the ladies of the BAU would look after her, but Spencer had second-hand nerves about what they would discuss. Mostly because he knew after a few drinks, Y/n was down for anything, which was actually how they ended up buying their very first sex toy. Although, that was beside the point because it brought immense pleasure and not lifelong embarrassment at work.

He still had one more trick up his sleeve, executing his scheme by pressing her against the bathroom vanity, caging her in with his arms on their side of her body as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Or, you could just say here." He suggested. "Put Poppy to bed early so I could rip that dress off you." His eyes were all over her figure, admiring the curves the tight dress accentuated.

When he used that tone, she had a hard time focusing on anything that wasn't how the temptation that was the growing bulge in his pants pressed against her ass.

Luckily, before she could drop the mascara wand, another Reid spoke. "Daddy! The iPad isn't working." Poppy complained, no doubt sitting on the couch tapping it harshly.

"Mood killer." Spencer dramatically whined.

Y/n could hear the playful tone in his voice as she shoved his shoulder. "I recall you named her Poppy."

"I don't even know anything about technology." He complained, stepping out of the bathroom.

Pulling him back in, Y/n passionately dove in to kiss him, purposefully teasing. "Spencer?" She asked, earning a nod after a pause from him as if his brain momentarily stopped working. "You were never going to convince me anyway."

Spencer let out another groan, more than a bit sexually frustrated before going to read the iPad instruction manual. Y/n fluffed her hair out again, trying to make sure it looked alright. Although she wouldn't tell him, she was worried about what Spencer's best friends would think of her.

"Okay, I'm going now." She announced, heels that she would end up taking off on as she walked into the living room. Poppy waved, still watching Spencer when Y/n walked over to place a kiss on her forehead. "Mwah." Spencer, sitting on the floor, tilted his chin up as he waited for his kiss. After she giggled, she leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Love you both!" She announced, walking towards the door.

"No secrets," Spencer instructed, although it came out weaker than he would have liked.

Y/n spun back around, drawing a cross over the fabric of her dress where her heart was. "Promise." She assured him.

She stayed true to her oath to Spencer for most of the enjoyable evening. His friends were great, like how he'd described them so many times, and she had no trouble fitting in. The problems- spilled secrets- came when the shots came. Some tequila and her lips were loose.

"Oh yeah, having Henry changed the game," JJ said in reply to a question about her and Will's sex life. "Not that I don't love him with all my heart, but things were... different when we were still sneaking around."

"So you're trying to convince us that three-hour flights to New Orleans are sexy?" Emily rhetorically asked, making all of them burst into a fit of giggles while JJ tried to defend her statement.

Penelope was next to playfully bad mouth her friend's relationship. "A long-distance booty call." She joked. "I can't believe you thought we didn't know."

JJ laughed at the mistakes of her younger self, burying her head in her hands to avoid the embarrassment. "Even I knew." Y/n chimed in between laughs, making Emily and Penelope double over in giggles.

With the attention back on Y/n, they had the same question to repeat to her. "We know absolutely nothing about Spencer's sex life, so feel free to tell us everything," Emily told her, least drunk and ready to save his secrets for a later day.

"Well, Spencer never changed. Like, at all." Y/n was ready to brag about her husband and the way he could fuck her. "When I was pregnant, oh my gosh, he was insane like wild all day every day."

It made her shiver thinking about it. Spencer had been away on a case when she really popped, and as soon as he saw her pregnant with his child, he went crazy. She lost count of how many times she came that night.

"So when you got together, was he, you know, a virgin?" Penelope steered the conversation back to the question everyone at the BAU had wondered before they learned he had a wife and child.

See the full post

2,919 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The guaranteed way to get to sleep

reader having a hard time sleeping and spencer noticing that and that she is touch starved so he lets them cuddle and she finally sleeps and just fluff <3 + reader having a hard time sleeping (either insomnia or just regular trouble sleeping) and spencer realizing that they're touch starved and he lets them sleep with him and they finally sleep?

a/n: i'm not sure if this was the same anon, but either way thank you for this request🤍

Summary: Spencer is the only one who can recognize the signs of needing someone in the new agent

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

Content Warning: tiny implied mention of Maeve | touch starved reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Masterlist Navigation

There were many things stressful about working at the BAU. Mostly the serial murder, but the effect of seeing what they saw each day had really started getting to Y/n a few months in.

For weeks, she'd been struggling to sleep, waking up with the same recurring nightmares and haunting visions. It had gotten so bad she had become known as the superlative of coffee addicts- a title that was hard to take from Spencer-

For as long as the nightmares had been going on, Y/n had been keeping her feelings bottled up, not telling anyone what was going on in her mind in case they saw it as a sign of weakness. The unit had been her dream since she was first in the academy. It had taken 5 years to get there, and she wasn't about to have anyone thinking she wasn't cut out for it.

It was incurable, and she found herself awake on the jet in the middle of the night journey. It was only three of them, coming back from San Diego where she'd gone along on a prison consult with JJ and Spencer.

JJ was out as soon as they got on the jet, curled up on the double seat, but all Y/n could do was look out the window at the dark sky and let her mind race.

The cold window pressed against her cheek was a constant reminder she was awake, and the tiny flickering of lights across the country should have been enough to put her to sleep. It was as relaxing as it could be without letting her sleep.

"What's wrong?" A voice unmistakably Spencer's made her jump in surprise as he sat on the single-seat across from her. He knew the signs, all of them from only two years ago after he'd been forced to watch someone he loved die.

Y/n flashed him a smile filled with false confidence, trying to brush his concern off. "Nothing."

He tipped his head to the side like he was asking if she seriously thought he'd believe that. "I can't help you if you don't tell me." He reminded her.

Over the three months, she'd worked with the team, they'd grown close. Of course, everyone was welcoming, but she found it easy to get along with Spencer. If her feelings weren't totally unreciprocated and bordering on inappropriate, she would have asked him out, but he'd only ever treated her like a colleague, so her little crush stayed buried.

"What makes you think I want you to help me?" She asked, much snarkier than she wanted to. Immediately, she felt guilty when she realized why she'd taken that tone. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Spencer assured her, reaching out to touch her hand. "How long has it been?"

Frowning, she wondered if he could possibly know, but it seemed unlikely. She'd only seen a side of him that was protective, articulate, and well presented, and while it was unrealistic, it wasn't hard to assume he was perfect. "What do you mean?" She hesitantly asked.

"Since you slept." He clarified, not willing to let her dodge the question.

"Three days." She mumbled, pulling her knees tighter to her chest like it would bring her human comfort. Over the months, she'd become more anxious, stressed, and generally sad, and she knew it wasn't just because of her job. It was dangerously near to a full-scale breakdown, teetering on the edge of a.

The look on Spencer's face was far from the judgment she expected. It was... caring in a way she wasn't sure she could care for herself. "L/n, you know you can't go on like that." He reminded her.

"How do you make it stop?" She asked voice just a whisper from trying not to cry. All the emotions were intense from the hours she'd spent awake, threatening to spill over at any moment. "I can't stop seeing...things when I close my eyes." She explained like he didn't get it, shivering as she envisioned the memories.

One thing Spencer hated about his job was the fact other people had to do it. Especially when they were as pure as Y/n was. The way she gripped his hand like it was her lifeline led him to deduce something else was going on.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time someone hugged you?" He asked, rubbing his thumbs in circles.

Y/n had no idea what his question was supposed to mean, but she answered it regardless. "A long time."

"Come on." Spencer knew what he needed to do, pulling her out of her seat and over to the unoccupied couch.

Y/n's confused expression didn't stop as she tried to figure out what he possibly could have wanted. Spencer didn't let her hypothesize for too long, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her body into his chest.

See the full post

6,410 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[honestmagpie]

I'm not even started on my morning tea yet so I can only pray I have coherency, but a thought has struck me this morning.

I remember the early days of my fanfic writing. Of writing some of the most deranged things, things I would most certainly get 'canceled' for (and god are we not tired of this term?) in this day and age, and which I don't write anymore simply because my tastes have changed.

But you know, I don't remember my fanfics or fandom being some kind of lawless hellscape. I don't recall ever finding out that my writing had inspired someone to do something dreadful, or that we had become desensitized to something uncouth.

Now, in this current day, I am constantly looking over my writing, just to make sure no-one can possibly intuit something dreadful that was unintended in my work, yet even in my most benign writing I carry this fear that somewhere, there will be a pocket of discourse I had never heard of that will suddenly announce itself, or someone will misinterpret something I wrote and leap straight to the most damning possibility.

Basically what i'm saying is, morality police have not improved the fanfiction or fanart scene in any fashion. It's fine if you think some things go against your morals. Blacklist them, and we shall tag them accordingly as we always have. Complain if things are not properly tagged, that is utterly valid.

But when the morality police begin to chastise writers for the implied, do realize that when you call writers monsters, some may be more inclined to lean into the fangs and claws. If we cannot please you, perhaps we will infuriate you and you will leave our land, and let us curl up in our dens with the things that comfort us. A warning shot and a kill shot echo the same.

"Oh but we weren't talking about YOU just those OTHER ones--"

Wolves of brown or wolves of grey, it doesn't matter. You evolved from us, but dulled your teeth and begged for treats.

"Get X out of our fandom spaces!" sounds exactly the same to me as "We just don't want to see it in schools".

I understand the need to hide from the abhorrent, or to fight it. Truly, I do. But if you hide from the things in the dark, you will never learn the size of the problem. You will never learn how sharp or dull the teeth are, how bloodthirsty the beast, or how benign it may actually be.

And by god, do not equate learning about the beast with supporting it. When the monsters come to hunt your children I will be there to defend your home too. But, if you kill the wolves instead of feeding them, how will they evolve into your hunting dogs?

Do you understand me? Do you see what I mean?

Maybe you don't. But one day, you might find your leg caught in a trap, and you will wonder-- what did you do to deserve this?

The answer is, of course, nothing. Nobody deserves it. But you're still going to have to chew your leg off if you want to get out.

Do you see what I mean?

[literatigifs]

anonymous asked: You know the most baffling thing about seeing Jess hate in the tags is when you immediately find out that the same people that hate him as a character and love Logan or Christopher or Dean then say something like "sure, Jess had it rough, but that is no excuse for how he behaved!" and yet they seem, completely fine?? With how the rest of the men in this series behaved?

I gave up on going into the main tags for this exact same reason because once one of them starts complaining, an entire league just picks up the pace and you get the same old points be regurgitated by the same 3 people over and over again. It's just boring at this point, like they spend so much time obsessively hating Jess and yet they can't even make up new reasons for it? I know that going as far as saying shit like "he probably sold meth as crystal candy to underage toddlers in New York in order to make some money in season 5" takes a lot of creativity but if you can't beat that, then your obsession with this character seems pretty pointless lmao.

And it's always the same with their reasons for liking Logan and Dean or preferring them, too! There's literally zero substance or interesting takes being given about these characters from their fans and it's so baffling to see at times?? Like the reason I love Jess is because his familial relationships, and even his ongoing connection with Rory are ripe for analyzing and talking about. I would extend this favor to Logan to a point because while his rich boy background is overwhelmingly generic (emotionally absent father who drinks habitually and cheats on his wife, mother who is a nervous wreck and the stereotypical wife of a rich man who married him for his money), there's still some aspects you could lean into and even dissect like how his destructive tendencies can be easily paralleled to his father's behavior AND to their relationship with each other. But again, nothing is done with this by his fans! They just repeat the same shit over and over again about how Logan was "the most perfect husband material to ever exist", despite the fact that there's various red flags given throughout the series even in season 7 where he goes back to his old habits and doesn't even communicate with Rory properly before he abruptly proposes, then ditches her. If they would at least admit that the so-called "ignorant writing choices" are also part of a larger pattern with his character and embraced his faults I'd get it, but they don't?

The same thing goes for Dean's fans. Dean has frankly nothing to credit him as being an interesting character because he practically exists to be Rory's first boyfriend (and then first experience in being the other woman 🥴). Every other relationship we see him in like with Lindsay, Luke or even Lorelai border on embarrassing to incredibly frustrating and negative, given how Dean seems to be completely fine with demeaning Luke's relationship with Lorelai because of his own personal history, or freely taking part in an affair despite being married to Lindsay. Like, he literally gives Lindsay more consideration only AFTER he has cheated on her and publicly humiliated her with that fact. I'm truly confused as to how Jess antis go on to say that even Dean was better than him when he willingly ruined his marriage with an affair by sleeping with Rory, an act that neither Jess or Rory ever did when she was with Dean. Last time I checked, Rory didn't try to sleep with Jess multiple times in season 3. And of course his fans just vaguely say they don't support that before then going on their 500th tirade about how Rory, an average high-schooler who's only dated one guy in her 17 year life by that point, had the audacity to develop a crush on a guy who liked her back and just wanted to spend time talking to her. Their reasons are frankly predictable at this point and honestly for all their complaining about Jess fans, the ones I see in the tags don't come off this obnoxious and holier-than-thou as they do.

[dhwty-writes]

The Terribly Sad and Tragic Affair that Is the Fake Funeral of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss

Apparently, I am not only drawing for the Critical Role fandom, but writing for it, too. After months of nearly no progress I just vomited out 3k words this Tuesday and it only went downhill from there.

This fic is based on this post by @anne-o-nyme, I really hope I managed to capture the energy of it.

Have fun!

Summary: There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience.

After the sudden "death" of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, it is his brother Verin's job to empty out his towers. The Mighty Nein show up to help (and maybe steal a few things).

OR: Verin is grieving, Essek just wants his stuff back, and the Mighty Nein are the Mighty Nein.

Warnings: I didn't tag this with MCD, because Essek is technically alive and kicking. Since Verin doesn't know that though, and this fic is written from his POV, this is dealing with grief and includes depictions of depressive thoughts as well as anxiety attacks. For more explicit warnings, please mind the tags on AO3. Take care of yourselves, and let me know if I forgot anything.

Read on AO3

There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience. "Listen," he said with what little calm he had left, "I know that by returning one of our beacons you became heroes of the Dynasty and were placed under Es— My bro— his stewardship. But this here—" he gestured vaguely at the interior of Essek's towers that had always been too cold, too empty, but not like now, never like now— "This is a very difficult situation for me, so if you could please leave, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Yes, yes, it's very sad that Essek died," the blue tiefling said—Jester, her name was Jester; she had given him that already as she had offered him her condolences with a hug—and Verin could barely contain his anger. After the funeral he had quite enough of lying dignitaries, nobles, and heroes currying favours with him. That had always been Essek's thing, he would know what to do, how to make them regret even daring to speak up; Verin had never been any good at it.

"But we're his friends!" He grit his teeth at Jester's blatant falsehood. Perhaps his anger showed on his face, since the tiefling faltered. "And, uh— Fjord?"

"It's true," the half-orc with too-smooth words and too-smooth voice lied, too. "We spent quite some time with your, er— your brother here. Made some good memories. We thought we might take this as our chance to say goodbye, too."

"We are here to help as well. We wouldn't want to infringe upon your grief, though," the tall firbolg added. "So, if you'd prefer us to return at a later point, we'd be happy to."

Verin was still trying to process everything—from these strangers showing up unannounced to their overwhelming presence to the fact that his brother was dead—while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on the halfling who looked like she might have sticky fingers. So, he latched onto the word that stood out the most to him: "Help?"

"Right," Fjord said, looking slightly embarrassed, "we probably should have led with that..."

"We should have called ahead, too," the scary-looking human in blue—they didn't even wear white for the funeral—added. "We always forget to call ahead."

"But Beau, how should we have called ahead?" Jester complained. "We didn't know Verin yet."

"Well, Essek—" the human was interrupted by the even scarier-looking woman next to her stepping on her foot unsubtly. She at least had the decency to act embarrassed. "Right. Sorry 'bout that."

Awkward silence fell across the room, the Mighty Nein looking anywhere but him. It took him a few moments to realise they were waiting for him to speak up. "Help how?" Verin could have kicked himself. By the Light, he could do better than that. He had to do better than that.

A beat of silence followed, then everyone seemed to talk at once. Verin wanted to weep. How was he supposed to deal with this? How had his brother dealt with this? 'He probably hasn't,' he thought. 'They're probably all liars, probably—'

Someone cleared their throat and all eyes turned to the other human who hadn't said anything so far and who looked properly miserable. Immediately, the Mighty Nein fell silent. "Word has reached us that Den Thelyss ordered these premises to be vacated as early as possible," he said quietly with an accent Verin has been taught that belonged to the enemy. "And while some of us may not look like much, I can assure you, we are quite capable."

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "I supposed such menial tasks are beneath the heroes of the dynasty. There are servants—"

"Well, sure," the halfling with the probably sticky fingers interrupted, "but we know him. Knew him, I mean; sorry, force of habit."

"Besides, there's a lot of stuff," the lavender tiefling, who Verin was pretty sure was a known pirate, piped up. "Looks like you could use the help."

"If you want to, of course," the sad Empire human added.

Verin only wanted to scream, to give room to the torrent of thoughts raging in his head. 'My brother just died. My brother just died and he wasn't consecuted, so he's gone for good. He's gone for good and I didn't even know him; I didn't even know about these supposed friends he had because he didn't allow me near him in decades. I was a horrible brother and so was he, but I can't even be mad at him because he's dead.

'And now these liars show up and talk about friendship and knowing him, but those are all lies, horrible ones, because Essek had no friends. Essek was cold and cruel and lonely and do you even know how horrible that is? Dying alone with no-one who mourns you, just the favours you still owe them? Do you? I don't even know, and I'm his brother.'

Were he a weaker man, a less disciplined one, he might have said so. But he was Taskhand Verin of Den Thelyss and he had learned discipline before he had learned to talk. So, he said: "Your help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. I'll have the servants bring up some tea. There are, uh—" He straightened his back, summoning the composure that was befitting a Taskhand, even one with a dead brother. "There are boxes up there, they've been brought to the rooms already. Anything of value will be sold; the rest will be given to charity. The things— Well, if you find anything that might have sentimental value, something in his handwriting, perhaps, I think I should like to keep that, please."

The firbolg nodded sagely. "Of course. We will be careful with our selection."

With that, Verin turned around and— froze. Where was he even supposed to start? The towers had always seemed to huge for just Essek and he knew that there were very few personal belongings in them. Still, they would have to be scoured clean within the fortnight.

A large hand on his shoulder made him jump, although he'd never admit it. "Sometimes, when a task seems too large, you should start with the smallest part," the firbolg said. "If I were you, I'd start with the smallest room."

"Thank you, that, uh— that seems like good advice," Verin replied, still a bit startled and confused. "I, er— I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Caduceus Clay. I live in a graveyard, so I'm used to this," Clay said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Verin furrowed his brows slightly. A graveyard? It seemed highly unlikely to him that one of the heroes of the Dynasty would live in a graveyard of all places. Perhaps they were not only liars, but impostors too? But they had the symbols of the Bright Queen, so there wasn't much that he could say.

"Right," he mumbled. "I believe the smallest room would be the closet. Although it might be tied with the bathroom..." He trailed off again. He had never seen Essek's bedroom in his towers. Judging by how many times he had even seen the inside of the building; he could count himself lucky if he even found the way there.

"Why don't we split up?" Clay suggested. "One group takes the closet, one the bathroom and one the bedroom. We'd get done sooner that way."

"That is a great idea, Caduceus," Jester said excitedly. "I'll take the bathroom; I promised— er, I'm curious if I can find more of that hair oil, I got for Fjord that one time!"

"Ohhh, are you saying this is... an investigation?!" the halfling joined in.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Veth!"

"Seems like a case for Wildemount's best detectives!"

"Bye, Verin!" Jester called and he blinked and they were gone. Fjord joined them as well, muttering something about having to supervise them.

The purple pirate-tiefling shrugged, heading off in the same direction. "Well, I wouldn't mind rifling through some drawers. I'll have a look at that bedroom."

"Yeah, I don't need to see Essek's underwear, so I'll pass on the closet," Beau added tactfully—Verin was getting the sneaking suspicion that manners were not really her strong suit. She linked hands with the large woman at her side, pulling her along. "Come on, Yash."

"I'll go handle the tea," Clay said. "Don't worry about it." He vanished in the direction of the kitchen, his steps accompanied by the constant tap tap tap of his staff.

When Verin looked around, he realised that only the sad Empire human was left with him in the hallway. "If you wouldn't mind," he said, pointedly avoiding eye-contact, "I would love to have a look at the closet. I always, ah— appreciated your brother's sense of fashion."

Verin blinked at him a few times, then shrugged. "Sure." He began heading up the stairs.

"My condolences," the human continued. "I realise I didn't speak up earlier, but— I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he said, letting the same numb feeling wash over him again that he had embraced since the news of Essek's death had reached him.

"I know that we seem like a bunch of, ah— forgive my language, but assholes, but we're really here to help. I will tell the others to tone it down a bit."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"If you'd prefer that we start in, ah— less personal rooms, we can do that also."

"If I'm perfectly honest, I don't even know what I should be doing there."

"Neither am I." The human laughed nervously. "I have dealt with grief before, but I've never had the, ah— how do you call it? Hang on." He pulled out a copper wire and whispered: "Beau, how do you say zweifelhafte Ehre in Common? You can reply to this message." A moment later he straightened. "Right. I never had the dubious honour of emptying out a deceased person's house before."

"Neither did I," Verin admitted. 'Usually, the deceased person comes back,' he didn't say. Instead, he opted for: "You're, er— What's the word in Common? You're weird? I'm sorry if that's insulting, I just— waele xanalressen [stupid languages]."

"I don't understand your words, but I think I understand the sentiment." The man grimaced. "And I've heard that one before. I hope we're not too much of a... too much."

"It's alright," he lied and opened the door to Essek's bedroom. 

It wasn't alright; Verin wanted to weep again.

The door to the bathroom stood ajar, as did several drawers and cabinets, although he couldn't glance inside. Considering that he heard glass shatter and a quiet "oops" followed by a hushed "Jester!" he was rather glad about that. Besides, what he saw was already quite enough to handle. Beau was currently rifling through Essek's nightstand, the tall woman tossing unread books on the bed carelessly, while the lavender tiefling seemed to make his way through his brother's collections of make-up and jewellery alike.

They froze when they spotted him and the sad human in the door. "Heeey, Verin," Beau drawled.

"These were all still closed, I swear," the lavender tiefling said immediately, gesturing at the jars in front of them.

Verin just sighed in defeat. "I don't wear any make-up, I don't care; you can have it. Put the jewellery in the box to be sold; the books are for charity if he hasn't read them. Just leave the earrings in front of the mirror, please. Those were his favourites."

Without another glance at them, Verin headed straight to Essek's closet, desperate to get some quiet. He took a few moments to collect himself, before closing the door and leaning his head against it with a heavy thunk.

He stayed like that for a minute or maybe two until he heard someone clear their throat. "I have been debating for the past fifty-five seconds, if I should just Dimension Door out," the sad human said and Verin very nearly jumped out of his skin, "but that would be loud and I didn't want to startle you. Not that I didn't startle you like this but—"

"Vithin shu," Verin cursed.

"Vithin shu ke," the sad human agreed, his accent in Undercommon even heavier than normally.

For a moment, they both stared at each other, equally startled by the course of events. Then, the human looked away again. "I, ah— have started learning Undercommon before, um— well, before." Verin tried very hard to focus on the way the human was scratching at his forearms; that way he had something else to focus on besides his nearing breakdown.

"This is a bit embarrassing, but, ah— I believe I forgot to introduce myself," the human continued. "I'm Caleb Widogast. Essek and I were... friends, yes, and ah— colleagues, of some sort. It's... complicated."

He scratched at his arms again before turning towards the shelves and pulling out a stack of tunics. He unfolded one, looked at it, then carefully folded it again, cast a cantrip to smooth out the wrinkles, and put it in the charity box. Then he repeated the procedure with the next. And the next. And the next.

Verin frowned, thinking for a moment about his words. There was something about them that seemed painfully familiar, although he couldn't quite remember. Then: "The transmutation specialist."

Widogast looked up in surprise. "Yes."

"Essek told me of you," Verin admitted.

The last time they had seen each other had been here, in these towers, just a few months ago. He had found his brother in his office, pouring over notes for a new spell, alive and healthy as ever. As always, he had entered without knocking. As always, he had pretended to read the notes. Not as always, he had noticed something wrong. "Whose handwriting is that?" he had asked.

"What?" Essek had snapped, his head whipping up. Then, however, his expression had softened. "Oh. A friend's. A colleague, of sorts. He's helping me out, a bit."

"With the spell?" Verin had asked incredulously.

"Yes. He's a transmutation specialist; you know that's not my forte. Now give it back, will you?"

"A colleague, huh?" He had grinned and held the paper out of Essek's reach. "Are you sure that's all?"

Perhaps Essek had been sick after all, for the strangest thing had happened: instead of using his floating cantrip to snatch the notes back, he had gotten a dreamy, far-off look in his eyes. He had even smiled with an expression Verin might have called dopey, if it weren't his brother they were talking about. After a few moments, he had snapped out of it, sighed, and said: "It's complicated."

"Did he?" Widogast asked tentatively. "Did he, ah— did he say anything else about me?"

Verin pinned him down with a glare, sizing him up. In hindsight, he should have noticed the thick spellbook at his hip earlier; judging by his slim frame alone, he should have known the man was a wizard. He supposed Widogast was handsome enough, although his brother had never cared much for that, with his copper hair and his striking blue eyes. Blue eyes around which crows' feet were gathering, as he noticed to his dismay. 'He's human,' Verin reminded himself. He might have a few decades left, maybe, whereas Essek had centuries ahead of him. The thought why his brother might condemn himself to more loneliness crossed his mind, though it hardly mattered. His brother had been the first to die, after all.

"Verin?" Widogast inquired quietly.

"I'm sorry," he answered with a thick voice. "I got lost in my thoughts there. He, uhh— he said that he trusted you." That didn't even begin to cover it, but these Mighty Nein had been lying to him since the moment they got here, so what was a little lie by omission? Besides, there were some memories that he wanted to keep just to himself.

"Essek," he had teased, still waving the sheet of paper out his reach. "Come on! Aren't we brothers?"

Essek had crossed his arms and pouted. He hadn't done that since they were both little. "Unfortunately. You are a menace. And a child."

"If you tell me about him, I'll give it back. Is he handsome? Is he a drow? Where's he from? How did you meet? When will I meet him? Can I promise to kill him if he hurts you?"

"Verin!" Essek had groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"What do you do when you meet? I bet you stay up all night, talking about 'arcane research' or something."

"We do, in fact. Are you done now?"

"Oh, is that what young people call it these days?" He had cackled at his own joke.

"Evidently not," Essek had muttered. "Might I remind you that you're younger than me?"

"Might I remind you that you're a buzzkill?" Verin had shot back and placed the note down. He had gotten bored of his own game.

Essek had taken the sheet of paper almost reverently and thanked him. "I would have hated it to rewrite that page." He had smoothed it down, stored it safely away in a folder, silent for a long time. Then, he had said: "Caleb."

"Excuse me?"

"That's his name," Essek had said. "Caleb Widogast."

Verin had frowned. "Hey, Essek?"

"Hm?"

"You must trust him a lot, to share a spell with him."

His brother had taken a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Verin hadn't expected him to answer, yet he'd said: "I do, actually. It's not the first spell we've created together and I would be honoured to create a thousand more with him. I'd trust him with my life, my death, and beyond. I think—" He'd huffed. "I think I trust him almost as much as I trust you."

Verin watched Widogast as he was looking through his brother's tunics, placing most of them in the charity box, and he wondered. Wondered if the trust Essek had obviously put in Widogast had been misplaced. Wondered if it had extended to his friends, as well. Wondered if ultimately trust had been his downfall, as he'd always feared.

Then again, if Essek had trusted him... perhaps that trust had been mutual. Perhaps they had been friends. Perhaps there was another person mourning his brother after all.

"Do I have something on my face?" Verin had given up on counting how many times Widogast had now startled him out of his thoughts.

"No, no I—," Verin stammered. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head to the side. "For staring?"

"No, er— For your loss." Liar or no liar, it only seemed appropriate.

"Oh." Widogast turned back to the tunics. Verin probably should get started, too, shouldn't he? "Thank you. Though I'd wager your loss weighs heavier than mine."

"Probably," he agreed and turned to the task at hand. At this point, Widogast had moved on from the simple tunics to Essek's court regalia. After a short moment of consideration, Verin decided to look through the pants; he also had no interest in sorting through his dead brother's underwear.

Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching the wizard, pulling out one cloak after the other. At a few he wrinkled his nose, at others he just stared before putting them with the tunics. After a while one made him pause; an elaborate, beautiful robe in deep purple. "This is what he was wearing when we first met him," he said.

'He hated that one,' Verin thought. Not that he could say that out loud. Instead, he cocked his head and asked: "Are you sure? He has a lot of those. Had, I mean. Had a lot of those."

"Yeah, I'm sure." He tapped his temple with a faint smile. "I have a good memory."

"As does Essek," he snapped, suddenly feeling very defensive about his brother's capabilities. "I suppose most wizards do."

Infuriatingly, Widogast only nodded. "Indeed. Or they're not very good ones."

Silently, Verin turned back to the trousers. The sooner he got done, the sooner he got these people out of his brother's towers, the better. He didn't know for how long they worked in silence, Verin reminiscing about the times he had seen Essek wear the clothes and wondering about those he didn't know. Eventually, he folded the last of them and forced himself to return to the present. "I think we're done here," he announced. "Do you have a preference for a next room?"

"Perhaps the library?" Widogast offered a tentative smile. "I think I might be of more use there than folding clothes."

"More use than I will be, surely."

"I take it the wizardry doesn't run in the family, then?"

Verin only scoffed and opened the door to the bedroom again.

He immediately spotted Beau leafing through one of the books Essek had never read, while the tiefling was chatting amiably with the aasimar while braiding her hair. He also noted the boxes neatly stacked in the middle of the room. Besides that, he noticed with a heavy heart, the room looked much the same. If anything, it looked less orderly and empty than before. Except for—

"Where are Essek's earrings?" Verin demanded to know.

"What earrings?" the lavender tiefling replied with a too-wide grin the same moment Beau said: "Dude, there's tons of them, why don't—"

"No," he said decisively. "Essek's favourite earrings; they're always up here. I told you about them. Where are they?" His hands curled into fists, his neatly manicured fingernails pressing almost painfully into his skin.

"Perhaps you should look in one of the boxes," the aasimar woman suggested "I'm sure they're—"

"You're lying," Verin interrupted her, barely containing his anger. "Why are you lying? If they're in one of the boxes, then only because you put them there. So: where are they?"

Widogast only now stepped out of the closet, wearing an amber necklace he hadn't noticed before. "Verin—" he said tentatively, but he'd had enough.

"Shut up!" He startled himself with how loud his voice was. But he was beyond caring. "I know they're not in there, because the only ones to put them in there would have been you. So, either you're lying about having them put in there, or you're lying about stealing them, I don't care. Just— please. Please give them back."

The four of them passed a guilty glance. "We can't," Beau replied finally.

"The fuck you can't," Verin spat. "Give them back!"

"Verin, love, we would really love to," the tiefling added, "but we can't."

"I don't understand; is it precious things you want? Here, have some!" He strode over to the boxes and ripped the first open, tossing the lid towards the bathroom door Jester was peeking out of. He reached in to grab a necklace—an ugly one, he had always thought, with a stylised beacon—and threw it in their direction.

Beau caught it. Of course.

"Have a whole box, actually, if you like them so damn much." He reached inside and pulled out a jewellery box, tears prickling in his eyes. He threw one of those, too, just for good measure. It gave him some satisfaction that Widogast had to dodge it. "Just give me back the bloody earrings that my brother wore at my fucking consecution!" He was properly crying now and could only imagine the mess he looked like, but he had reached his limit. And, in his opinion, he was allowed to with all that was going on.

At least they looked a little bit guilty. "Fuck man, we didn't know," Beau mumbled.

"It's just one pair, Beau," Jester called over from the bathroom. "I'm sure it will be alright."

"Yes, there's no need for this to escalate," Fjord agreed and strode over to them, his hands raised innocently.

"I don't even know you people," Verin muttered, looking at the people crowding into his brother's bedroom. "Why did I even let you inside?"

"Do you want the earrings back?" the aasimar woman asked, reaching into a bag at her hip. Had she been carrying a greatsword for the whole time? Verin suddenly noticed how overpowered he was, were he to face all of them. "You can have them back if you want. Here, you can have them back."

"For a moment," Widogast added, slowly drawing closer to him and taking the earrings from the aasimar. He held them out on his flat hand, almost like he had seen soldiers offer treats to horses. His whole demeanour reminded him of someone trying to calm a spooked animal. For some reason, that seemed hilarious to him and he couldn't help the hysterical giggle that escaped his throat.

"Verin, I need you to calm down," he continued. "I know that's easier said than done, but you need your head."

"I think we should all calm down," Clay said from the doorway. And despite being surprised again, he did. It didn't make any sense, but few things these days did.

"Did it work?" the halfling asked. Verin wasn't really sure what she was talking about.

"It did," Clay confirmed.

"Gut," Widogast said and pressed the earrings that had seemed so important a moment ago into Verin's hands. "I think we should maybe go somewhere else, ja? Will you come with me?"

Inadvisable as it might be, if Essek had trusted that man, he should, too. And out of all of the Nein, he seemed to be the most normal one. The one he could see Essek with most. So, he nodded.

"I'll get us back to the kitchen, quickly." Caleb held out his hand and Verin closed his eyes, steeling himself. 'I hate Dimension Door,' was the last thing that crossed his mind before the teleportation spell ripped him away, together with: 'We haven't been to the kitchen, yet.'

Evidently, there went something wrong with the spell. Verin didn't know much about magic, but he knew Dimension Door couldn't transport more than two people. So, when he heard Beau groan and say "Fuck, dude, warn us next time," he knew that something wasn't right.

"You knew about the plan, Beauregard," Widogast replied.

"It doesn't matter," Fjord decided. "Caduceus, do you think you could make tea again? I think the Calm Emotions is about to wear off."

Cautiously, Verin opened one eye, then the other. They were, in fact, standing in a kitchen, as far as he could tell. All of the Mighty Nein were surrounding him. The furniture seemed to have been made for people taller than them; Essek probably would need to float in order to avoid awkwardly climbing onto the chair. The firbolg, however, who was fussing with a teapot, seemed to fit right in. All in all, the interior was very rustic. And very much not in Essek's towers, not that he had ever seen that room, of course.

The panic hit him once more. Verin whirled around to the wizard, instinctively grasping for his sword. "Where the fuck—" he faltered, finding his hip bare. Of course, he hadn't brought it for the funeral. Instead, he opted for just grasping Widogast by the lapels and lifting him up a bit. It was supposed to be menacing, which surely would be more effective, were humans not so annoyingly tall. "Where the fuck are we?!" he spat out.

A lot of things seemed to happen at once—he heard a "Fuck, man, what-" from Beau, a "Well, Mister Thelyss" from the pirate, several hands trying to tug him away from the weak wizard—but he didn't pay them any mind. He just shook Widogast, who looked entirely too calm for his liking, and demanded: "Answer me!"

"Leave him," was all Widogast said. "He has every right to be angry."

Indeed, the people grasping at him retreated, still on guard and surrounding him. There was a creak outside the door and Verin desperately wished for his sword once more. Then, a voice cut through the tense silence that had descended over the kitchen: "Caleb, is that you? You're back early."

"Yeah, there were some complications. Best come and look yourself, Schatz."

There was a sigh that was entirely too familiar for Verin's liking. Then, the door opened with a creak and in walked a dead man. "Complications," Essek Thelyss said with a fond smile. "I was just a Sending away, what did you come here fo— oh."

The person wearing his brother's face stopped in their tracks as they saw him. A couple of complicated emotions passed over his face—confusion, surprise, regret, guilt. If he hadn't known before, Verin was certain now that they were impostors, all of them. His brother would never tolerate such a display of weakness. Still, the impostor said: "Hello, brother."

Verin whipped his head back around to the wizard in his grasp. "What the fuck are you playing at?" he hissed.

"I- what- Verin!" the Essek-impostor sputtered. "What are you doing; put him down!"

"I would appreciate that, yes," Widogast added.

"Not before you don't tell me what's going on."

"Going on?" The impostor sneered and shook his head in a perfect imitation of his brother. "Nothing is going on, Verin."

"You died," he accused him.

"Evidently not," Essek scoffed.

Verin narrowed his eyes, looking from the man claiming to be his brother over the other too calm wizard to the rest of the Nein, seemingly perfectly happy to let this play out. "Prove it," he demanded. "Tell me something only my brother would know."

"You've become paranoid," he noted and Verin couldn't decide if it sounded proud or disappointed. "Alright. When you and I were in our early thirties, you once got in trouble for scaling the outside of mother's mansion. Rightfully, I should have gotten in trouble, too, but I was hiding on the attic. And the reason you never told anyone, is because then you'd have had to explain that I, the wizard, had somehow outpaced you, the fighter, in a climbing competition."

Verin wrinkled his nose at that. "Well, my brother cheated."

"I did not cheat, thank you very much!" He huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You didn't say 'no magic' before we started."

He stared at Essek for a few moments. "It's you," he whispered.

"Obviously."

Verin dropped the wizard on the ground and looked over at his brother; really looked. The man looked nothing like the one he had known for most of his life. His hair was longer than it had ever been since he'd cut it off and his bare feet were touching the ground. His clothes were casual, a simple tunic and trousers. After this day, Verin knew for a fact that not even Essek's trancing clothes were that informal, and yet his brother looked more comfortable in them in another's house than he had in decades. On top of that, he kept glancing over to Widogast. And smiling. Essek was smiling.

No, this man looked nothing like the one Verin had known for nearly a century. But he looked a lot like his brother.

"You're alive," he said stupidly.

"Yes, of course I am," Essek said, as if Verin hadn't just attended his funeral.

It felt only right to tell him so: "Why are you alive? I was at your funeral."

"That's a long story," he sighed and floated onto one of the chairs that were slightly too tall for him. He accepted a cup of tea from Clay with thanks and turned back to Verin. "Why are you here?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story, too," Jester spoke up. "He kind of started freaking out about your earrings, I think? And he was crying and looking pretty awful and everything, right Caleb?"

"I, ah— didn't think he'd believe us if we told him about you," Caleb said. "So, we had agreed beforehand to bring him here, in case of an emergency."

"He thought we were lying," Clay added.

"I suppose it is my story to tell," Essek said. "Earrings, Verin?"

"They're your favourite," Verin said stupidly and held them out to him.

His face grew soft. "Oh," he said as he took them gingerly, "I didn't know that you kne—"

Before he could overthink and do something stupid like stop himself, he surged forward and enveloped his brother in a tight hug. After a moment Essek closed his arms around him, too.

It seemed so unreal, to be able to hold him after mourning him for what felt like years. All the worries, all the grief and anger that had crushed him in the past few weeks and for what? For the bastard to still be alive after all. It wasn't fair. Why had he had to go through all of that? And why did he feel the pressing urge to start crying again? He should be happy, shouldn't he, that his brother wasn't dead. So why did it make him feel so awful?

"I think this is our cue to leave," Fjord said. Verin felt his brother nod and heard the Mighty Nein shuffle out of the kitchen, the door closing behind them with a creak. 

Only then, Essek spoke up. "Verin," he asked quietly, "are you crying?"

"Shut up," he mumbled through the thick fog of tears and snot, definitely not crying. "I hate you, Essek. Do you know what I went through?" 

"Meeting the Mighty Nein? Yes, I can imagine."

"They're horrible," he complained. "They're loud and they're rude and they had absolutely no respect for any of your belongings! I thought I was going mad."

"They are. They also are my friends, you know."

"How?" he asked agonised.

"I know they don't look like it, but they are surprisingly capable. And I am sure that you've noticed most of them to be annoyingly charming. But I think their absolute worst traits are their infinite stubbornness and perseverance. They quite literally did not leave me alone until they had befriended me."

Verin glanced up at him questioningly. "And were half in love with the wizard?" he guessed.

Essek scowled darkly, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "Perhaps."

He snorted and disentangled himself from their embrace. Very calmly he said: "You're a liar." 

Essek looked genuinely startled at that. "What?"

"You said, you trusted me more than him. Why then, did he know and I didn't?"

"It's... complicated," he said.

"You wizards say that a lot."

"Verin." Essek closed his eyes. "I trust you. Implicitly. And I care about you. Which is why I chose not to burden you with the knowledge of my misdeeds. I didn't— I didn't want to put you in an impossible situation to choose between me and our queen."

He laughed nervously. "What on earth are you talking about? I mean, you didn't commit treason or anything."

Essek didn't answer, avoiding eye-contact instead.

"Right?"

Still, Essek kept stubbornly quiet.

"Oh," Verin breathed. He took a moment trying to reconcile what he knew about his brother with the fact that he was apparently a traitor. It all fit together ridiculously easy. "The beacons."

Essek looked up at him in shock and he knew he had hit the mark. "What?"

"You stole the beacons." Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. Essek had been studying them at the time, one of the only people with frequent access to them. He had always been fascinated by them, yet his theories had been rejected for their heretic nature. As Shadowhand, he had also regular contact with counterparts from the Empire, albeit not officially. Then, a few years after Essek’s research had been denied, they had vanished. How had he never seen this before?

"Oh Essek...," he said softly.

"No, please— I don’t—Please don’t—” He seemed to deflate, curling in on himself. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you, I—”

"I don't care,” Verin interrupted his frantic ramblings.

"What?" Essek looked up at him, looking just as shocked as Verin felt.

“I don’t care,” he repeated, realising that it was true the moment the words left his mouth. For how could he care about something as trivial as treason when Essek was sitting right in front of him, alive and well. "You're my brother, I don't care. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a year. Maybe in ten. Right now, I only care that you're alive."

“I—What—I don’t—” Essek stuttered, lifting and then lowering his hands a few times. “I don’t know how— If I can—Fuck.”

There was a joke on the tip of his tongue, but even he knew that this wasn’t the right time for it. Essek was obviously trying to tell him something and it took him a minute to decipher that strange behaviour. “Are you asking for a hug?” he hazarded a guess.

An agonised expression passed over his face and for a moment Verin thought there were tears gathering in his brother’s eyes. Surely not. “I don’t know if I may. I don’t mean to overstep—”

Without further ado, Verin stepped forward and gathered a yelping Essek up and squeezed him tightly. “Of course you may!” he assured him, awkwardly patting his shaking shoulders. “I love you, Essek. I am very glad that you’re alive.”

“I’m very glad to see you, too,” Essek answered and squeezed him a little tighter.

[nessaxc]

___________________________________

Apologies || Miya Atsumu

Atsumu and you had a fight and he tires to apologize.

~ Rating: Explicit

~ Words: 2.1k

~ Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Praise Kink, Apologies Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering

___________________________________

You were sitting in the middle of the bed, knees pulled up to your chest, your arms resting on them. Every once in a while you wiped off a teardrop from your face. Your crying has stopped now, but there were tears that steal escaped your eyes.

He never talked to you like that. He never called you things like that.

This was the worst fight you had yet. You were together for four years now, and he shouted things you never knew he had in his head since you're together.

You said pretty awful things too, things you never thought you would, since you didn't really mean them.

But did he mean them?

Did he really think of you that way?

Or was he just hurt and wanted to hurt you back?

Well, he did hurt you. Your heart still makes that awful squeeze when you think back at what happened about half an hour ago.

Was he still in the house or did he leave?

You didn't know, but it was awfully quiet in the whole house.

It was so quiet that even the careful, soft knock on the closed door still made you jump.

"Babe?" - came his quiet voice.

Another tear fall down from your eyes and you wiped it off with your sleeve. The answer was the sound of you blowing your nose.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, please forgive me?" - even if his voice was weak you could tell he meant these words, but the wound on your soul was still felt too fresh to accept his apology this easily.

"Can you open the door, sweetheart? I know you locked it, because you don't wanna see me, but I'm so deeply sorry. I... I didn't think, I just said things to make you mad, because I felt mad, I didn't mean anything I've said, I promise."

You sure hoped so, because that would be awful and you would never want to see him again if he did.

"I'm sorry for shouting too. I was already frustrated with work, and then you started nagging me, and I don't even remember what we started fighting about in the first place, it just escalated so quickly..."

Well, if you think about it, you were throwing everything at each other from who's turn was it to do the laundry to barely going out together in the past few weeks. You didn't remember what started the fight either.

You remember saying that you started to get enough of living with him, and he replied with 'well, it wasn't my idea for you to move in with me, was it?' and fuck that hurt.

"I think I didn't take out the trash again, or something, right?"

You smiled a little as you wiped away another tear.

"I uh... I did just now."

You bit the inside of your cheek.

"And you want a pat on the head or something?" - you called back.

Atsumu let out a sigh of relief on the other side of the door, hearing that at least you were willing to talk to him. And fuck, his heart did a happy jump hearing your voice.

"Baby, open the door, please, I wanna see you. It wasn't even 30 minutes ago that you called me a selfish dickhead, but I already miss you."

You shook your head as you hopped off from the bed, and wiped your face again before you unlocked the door and opened it.

Atsumu’s eyes widened in hope, but he immediately felt regret wash over him when he saw your puffy, red eyes.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean any of it, please don't cry because of a stupid fucking idiot like me, okay?" - Atsumu pleaded as he slowly reached his hands out for you, and without hesitation, you stepped into his waiting arms and jumped up, wrapping your arms and legs around his tall form.

He immediately started peppering your hair, ear, shoulder with kisses and walked to the bed and sit down on it with you in his lap.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you know I love that you moved in with me, you take care of me and I love you for it, princess, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

You pulled away with a smile on your face to look at him, but you became worried when you saw the unshed tears in his eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" - you asked as you cupped his face gently.

He closed his eyes as he looked down shaking his head.

"I don't want to lose you." - he said in a rough whisper and you quickly wiped away his tears that ran down his cheeks after his confession.

"You won't Atsumu, I promise. I love you. And I said some pretty awful things I shouldn't have and I want you to know that I didn't mean them either."

Atsumu nodded and looked at your lips.

"You can kiss me." - you reassured him.

Atsumu nodded again and eagerly captured your lips with his. You kissed each other fast and passionate, both of you apologizing for the fight, but after a few minutes of deseperate attempts to make the other forgive for the things that had been said, you both calmed down, knowing everything is going to be alright, and neither of you will leave the other.

When you pulled away for a deep breath of air, Atsumu started kissing your jaw, slowly biting and sucking his way down to your neck, while your fingers sneaked their way into his hair, pulling with just the right amount of force which you know he loved.

"Excpet for the selfish dickhead part, I meant that from the bottom of my heart." - you whispered as you leant your head back to give him better access.

"I know, baby, I know. But you still love me, and I love you for that." - he murmued against your skin and put his palms on your ass to pull you closer to his hardening cock.

You moaned when you felt him between your legs and you started rubbing yourself against his bulge. You loved it when he wore sweatpants at home.

"Will you show me how much you love me?"

"Always." - he replied, and pulled off your hoodie and shirt in one move.

He loved it when you didn't wear a bra at home.

You leaned back a little to arch your back for him as he pushed your breasts together and licked both of your nipples. He kissed and bit each of your tits, wrapping his arms around your waist, wanting to feel every inch of your body against his.

"Take off your shirt."

"Yes ma'am."

You helped him with the task and when his upper body was naked you pushed him on his back. You held his hands above his head on the bed and slowly caressed your way down his wrists, arms, shoulders and chest. When you reached his stomach you gently dug your nails into his flesh, making him moan and thrust his hips up into yours.

You threw your head back with a deep moan, and Atsumu sat up quickly to kiss you and turn you on the bed, laying you on your back. He kissed you slow and deep, whispering apologies against your lips, and you accepted each with small nods, and needy moans.

His hands were working on removing both of your pants and underwear, and when he was done with those tasks, he cupped your heat with his right hand, slowly moving his fore- and middle finger between your soaking hole and swollen clit, watching your face as you whined sweetly for him.

He gently kissed down his way through your chest and stomach, while he slipped his fingers inside you. You moaned his name loud, which he always loved to hear.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've said, baby. Can I eat you out? Can I eat your sweet pussy, princess? Let me apologize to you properly, please."

You held yourself up with your elbows and nodded. Atsumu kissed the inside of both of your thighs while he was fingering you slowly, and he didn't break eye contact when he opened his mouth to lick your clit gently.

You moaned and bit your bottom lip, reaching out to grab his hair and carress him while he was lapping at your pussy.

"You're doing great baby, you're making me feel so good, I love you." - you encouraged him with sweet meows.

Atsumu nooded without stopping pleasing you, and he kept his eyes on you while you watched him eating you out.

You started to get louder, he was pumping his fingers in and out of you in a slow tempo but as your pussy started to get wetter and wetter, he curled them upwards in search of your g-spot. A sharp intake of breath from you told him that he found the right place, and as your thighs started to shake he massaged that spot faster and rougher. He switched from teasing your clit with gentle licks to sucking it with fervor. After every sharp breath you took in, you cried them out in pure bliss as you felt your insides squeeze together, and after a while the pressure started to get unbearable. Just a few seconds later your whole body tensed and you rubbed your pussy harder against Atsumu’s mouth to increase your pleasure to the max with loud cries and exhausting breaths.

Atsumu helped rode out your orgasm, and only let go of you when you pulled your pussy away from his mouth. He kissed your still shaking thighs, then climbed on top of you to kiss your mouth with passion.

"You're beautiful, baby, I can't get enough of you." - he praised you while he lined up his rock hard cock at your opening and started to make it wet with your juices. - "Need you now, princess, can I fuck you? I know you're still sensitive, but I can't wait any longer, I have to have you." - he pleaded, but his voice turned rough when he was horny, and it sounded more like a demand.

You weren't complaining.

You nodded against his lips and pulled your knees apart to gave him more room, and with a gentle thrust of his hips, he slipped inside your wetness easily. You both moaned at the feeling and you cupped his jaw with one hand to turn his head sideways so you could suck on his neck.

Atsumu shuddered when you kissed, bit and licked his skin there, making his hips slam into yours just a little bit harder than gentle.

"I will never talk to you like that again, okay baby?" - he looked down at you and pushed his forehead against yours. - "I will never shout again, I won't say those horrible things ever again, I promise I didn't mean any of it, okay, Y/N?"

You could only moan and nod as he was penetraing you in the most intimate way. He hooked his arm under one of your knees, pushing it against your chest, while your other leg was wrapped around his waist, your heel sinking into the spot just below his ass, urging him on to fuck his apologies into you, while he was staring in your eyes the whole time, so you could be sure that he means every word this time.

"I don't know what I would do without you, promise you never leave me?" - he leaned closer to your ear to whisper in it, but you could still look into his eyes as you answer.

"I'll never leave you, you're so good to me, Atsumu, no one loved me like you do." - you panted as you cupped his face, but you had to grab onto his upper arm, when his pace picked up at your words.

"Say you love me." - he whispered as he kissed your shoulder.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you, Atsumu, oh my god, right there!"

"I love you, Y/N, cum for me, show me how much you love me!"

"A-Atsumu!" - you cried out as wave after wave of pleasure washed over your body. You bit down on Atsumu’s neck and sucked at his pulse, while you dragged your nails down his back, causing just a little bit of pain, because you knew it made him cum harder.

His pace picked up even more and the force of his thrusts made him sway the bed under you back and forth, slamming the headboard against the wall with loud banging, until you heard him moan loudly with each shot of cum that exploded out of his dick, turning your walls white.

He collapsed next to you on the bed with a grunt, and you curled into his side as his arms protectively held you close to his body.

"I love you, baby, and this was amazing, but please let's not fight ever again." - he panted, still trying to catch his breath.

"Deal, handsome."

___________________________________

[kitacco]

sunrise.

pairing: fem!reader, gojo satoru.

genre: angst with happy ending.

summary: time doesn’t always heal.

cw: mention of manipulation, violence.

wordcount: 4.1k.

! part two of clouds !

the sky is clear when you look up into the sky. even though the sun is not out, and instead, the sky is covered with grey clouds, you still like to believe it’s clear.

he made you believe that the first time you two met.

it wasn’t like you were escaping from reality, he simply thought if there was something you could change, then you should. you believed him, after so long.

how could you describe how he makes you feel? you had never felt it before. he felt like the orange sky adorned by the full sun, illuminating the grass and bringing warmth to the body despite the breeze. was that an exaggeration? probably, he didn’t think so, though. he made you believe you could rewrite reality with only your imagination.

meeting him was fate. he told you that, you thought it was sheer coincidence and two people on the right place. he was a little more romantic than you, though.

you had been to therapy for about two years.

things weren’t easy, and honestly, you wished you could forget about it.

your therapist assured you it wasn’t your fault - it took you a while to understand that.

you were aware that it wasn’t entirely your fault, what happened was a casualty, sadly, an experience you had to go through, but also a lesson you had the opportunity to learn from. it wasn’t easy, you understood that after a year of one session every month. you cried a lot, more than what you expected, and you felt responsible. because, if you hadn’t fallen for him, everything would’ve turned out well.

you were quick to learn that your emotions shouldn’t make you guilty, instead, who was to blame was him.

after a while, you finally accepted it.

gojo never contacted you after everything happened. you wanted to go on with your life like he most likely was, however, you were incapable of creating any type of relationship with people. what used to be a big group of friends became one, and what used to be exciting became scary. your friends, then, insisted you visited a therapist. you didn’t want to, at first. if anything, you wished you could simply erase the situation from your brain for the rest of your life, but how could you when subconsciously you failed to move on? your friend and her husband moved away, and so did you. she left the city while you moved to the other end of the city. not necessarily because you wished to avoid him; your therapist thought it was better to forge relationships from zero. 

another year passed, and he had completely vanished from your life. you hadn’t told your new roommate about it, but you knew your friend had before you moved in. you didn’t mind. you knew she was trying to protect you. but, it’s not like he’d ever come around again - that you believed so.

you didn’t exactly know how you met him. maybe it really was fate, like he said once. only eleven months after the incident, you were still incapable of communication. leaving your house was scary and worrisome for anything other than therapy, so you didn’t tend to visit places much often. during the time, you were still leaving at your old apartment. your friend insisting on you moving on had already convinced you of leaving the building, and that day you were finally taking the boxes out.

you met by the stairs. a box had fallen from your hands straight to his feet.

as much as you apologized, he only smiled, assuring you he was alright.

and that was it.

you met him again on your way to your therapist. it was all too similar, you thought to yourself. he happened to have a friend living in the same building as you (he was literally your next door neighbor), and you were starting to open up to people a little more. you knew his friend, as much as one knows a neighbor. the guy was nice and he always gave your roommate eyes - she genuinely didn’t mind him.

you told your therapist about it the other day. and the next day, the guy was knocking at your door.

you remembered how nice having company felt. your roommate worked all day, while you only stayed at home. unable to properly work just yet, you only worked in the mornings at a coffee shop. it was safe and easy for you most of the times, only having to wipe tables and greet costumers. you didn’t complain.

he told you he had just gone to see his friend and happened to be curious about you. his eyes were a little intense but there was something about the tone of his voice and shakiness of his smile that managed to make you feel at peace.

besides your roommate, he became someone you could trust.

things didn’t go as quickly as it would’ve normally. you had never invited him inside your house alone, but when your roommate was there, you would let him inside. he would always visit with sweets or a cup of coffee for you. 

it’s like everything repeated itself once again in some extent.

after hanging out with your roommate and him, his friend started tagging alone. the guy was sweet and funny, and in less than three weeks he managed to get your roommate to go on a date with you.

that was the first time the two of you spent alone.

you’d thought by that time you were over it. you were quick to understand there were some wounds that no matter how much you tried, would leave scars that still hurt.

but he didn’t mind waiting all the time in the world for you, and he let you know that.

looking back, you finally realized what real love truly was. he was what real love felt like.

small touches, assuring words, constant communication. silence wasn’t needed with him, and your eyes never spoke more than what words did.

you genuinely felt safe again.

gojo didn’t mean this to happen. after the yelling of your friend and the end of the friendship with his friend, gojo decided he was done with you forever.

so then, why was he involuntarily following you around the store?

he had no other intentions than to look at you for one last time. it had been a while, and he was genuinely curious about how you were doing. it was impossible to find anything about you, you had completely wiped yourself out from social media, and all your friends had blocked him too. that should’ve been enough for him to understand he wasn’t welcomed in your life anymore.

but then, why was he walking towards you? maybe for some closure, maybe to apologize, maybe only to say hi.

he couldn’t tell, but it was too late before he could make up his mind.

gojo tapped your shoulder quietly in the snacks aisle. he didn’t feel nervous, tense, or uneasy, almost as if the two of you were old friends that happened to meet again after so long, picking up the friendship where it had been left off. gojo was quick to realize that wasn’t the case, though.

“gojo!” you exclaimed, jumping at his sight.

had he always been that tall?

“it’s been a while,” he chuckled, looking back at your cart full. “you got a lot there, huh? you live closeby?”

gojo didn’t waste any time, pressing a hand against your cart, trapping you.

“no,” you’re quick to answer.

one of gojo’s eyebrows raises, and you look around, hoping someone can notice your state. 

“oh, then you like this store? it has more things than the others around the city, i guess-”

“i’m sorry, gojo, i’m busy and need to finish this as fast as i can, but it was nice seeing you again!”

gojo’s gaze stays on your figure as you run off with your cart. he knows you’re lying, but which two was a lie? he didn’t know.

gojo should’ve taken the hint.

he walks out of the store, noticing the clouds turn darker than they were before. he’s deliberately waiting for you outside, hoping he can get you to talk a little more. was he curious about you? not really. was he wishing he could get you back?

perhaps.

you step out of the store with the cart full of bags, and gojo approaches you fastly, startling you once again.

“need a ride?”

“oh, no, thank you,” you decline, pulling the bags out of the cart.

“then let me help you to your car,” he proposes, reaching out for one of your bags.

“no!” you exclaim, grabbing them faster than he could. “i-it’s fine, there’s a station right there so it’s fine.”

“oh no, are you silly? so many bags on the train, you’re in a rush and it’ll more likely rain? c’mon, i’ll drive you home.”

you decline his offer again, your mind running wild. it’s not that you didn’t want to accept his generosity, but suddenly all the fears you once thought were buried floated to the surface again. suddenly it felt like all the progress you had made the past years was being ripped out of your consciousness. 

“please, gojo, trust me, it’s fine,” you insist, grabbing onto your bags and trying to walk away. you look around, hoping someone sees the two of you, hoping someone would stop him. but no one is around, and no one but you can stop this.

but when you see gojo again, you finally understand it was never your fault.

gojo manages to get through you, and now you’re seated by his side as he mindlessly drives through the city. you texted your boyfriend the moment you got inside his car, telling him you were coming to his place and asking him to wait for you a few streets away. he instantly called you, but too nervous, you declined the call. you didn’t want gojo to know any more about your personal life, nor know you had moved away. if anything, you wanted gojo to disappear.

but could you tell him that?

“feels like the old times,” gojo mutters over the music on the radio.

like the old times?

an inexplicable feeling rises up your chest, yet you stay silent, wishing the ride was over. gojo would occasionally eye you, and everything would feel too familiar. 

only that this time the tables had turned. because you realized you hated gojo’s guts, and he realized he loved you dearly. 

“we should, hang out, again,” he mutters.

“i don’t think i can,” you speak, this time, your voice doesn’t falter, and gojo turns to face you.

“you got a boyfriend?”

“no,” you retort. “i’m busy.”

“you’ve always been busy, can’t you make some time for me again?”

you don’t answer. you knew too well, that if you say a word, you’ll explode. and as capable you thought you were of getting back to him, you could also remember clearly everything gojo had done to you. you don’t think it was worth the risk, trying to speak your heart out with someone like gojo.

he would never understand; he never wanted to. and he didn’t deserve to either.

“it’s here,” you announce, and gojo stops abruptly.

he frowns once he sees the man approaching his car, and you’re quick to jump out, telling him the bags were in the back. gojo steps out of the car too.

“hey, nice to meet you,” he says, and your boyfriend looks at you. “you’re his friend?”

“she’s my girlfriend.”

your breath hitches and you’re quick to grab his hand, distracting him from gojo’s conversation.

your boyfriend wasn’t an impulsive guy. he’s thoughtful and caring, fast to understand any situation he’s in front of.

but gojo is the complete opposite, and by experience, you know no one can go against gojo, no matter how hard they try.

“oh, that’s nice,” gojo taps the top of his car as he watches the two of you grabbing the bags. “i can help you carry some bags upstairs, if needed so.”

“it’s fine, thank you,” your boyfriend responds for you.

your boyfriend grabs your hand along the bags and walks towards the building gojo knows too well.

for your surprise, gojo doesn’t insist, and when you look back, he’s already inside the car, watching the two of you enter the building.

after that incident, you once again were incapable of leaving your apartment. and you didn’t want your boyfriend to leave his either.

gojo surely had changed, you noticed that the day you two met again. he looked taller, stronger, and unnerving. even though the two of you had been friends for many years, gojo was still unpredictable. you learnt that the last years of friendship you two shared.

“can i help you’” your boyfriend speaks.

gojo is at the other side of the door, in what was once your building, and outside what was once your apartment.

he cocked his eyebrows, incapable of hiding the smile creeping up his face.

“oh, you live together? that’s sweet,” gojo comments.

your boyfriend doesn’t respond, closing the gap between his body and the door so gojo couldn’t see indie his house, “yeah, what you want?”

“well, my birthday is coming and i thought maybe the three of us could celebrate it together. i don’t know if she told you, but we’re really good friends.”

your boyfriend nods, of course you haven’t.

“i don’t think we can, the both of us work.”

“oh, yeah? well, she always manages to make time for me, maybe i could ask her personally since you’re acting quite weird,” gojo tries again, his hand pressing against the surface of the white door.

“no, i’ll ask her and we’ll let you know.”

“fine, i’ll wait for your answer by saturday, if not, maybe i’ll come back,” gojo mutters, smirking.

your boyfriend wasn’t an aggressive guy. but, hell, he wished he could punch his face so bad.

he didn’t tell you anything about gojo’s visit nor invitation. you were already having a pretty bad time, you didn’t need more pressure put on your shoulders.

he genuinely thought he’d made the best decision - yet, he couldn’t help feel intimidated by the figure he happened to constantly meet.

gojo always told him it was a coincidence. he didn’t believe him, and fast enough, he started to understand your emotions. there was something eerie about the guy.

in no time, gojo had managed to push him against a wall. your boyfriend noticed what gojo claimed was coincidence was, indeed, his following, and too scared of him finding out you, in fact, didn’t live with him, your boyfriend started lying to you, claiming he had too much work and that he couldn’t go visit you. you facetimed and called each other often, but sadly, you felt uneasy, and your boyfriend knew too.

but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you.

“so, you made up your mind?”

your boyfriend stands at the other side of the door, startled by the tall white haired man. he’s smiling, as always, feigning a kind gesture as if the two of them were friends. 

“sorry man,” your boyfriend speaks up. is his voice shaking? “we couldn’t get a break from work.”

“oh, that’s unfortunate,” gojo clears his throat, smiling again. “then maybe you guys can pick a day and we can meet then.”

your boyfriend observes him, eyes darker despite the blue orbits. his tapping his feet against the floor, unable to read gojo, and he, simply smiles. he knows he’s made your boyfriend nervous, and suddenly, he’s reminded of you.

no wonder you’d get with a guy like that.

gojo knew he couldn’t let you, though, you couldn’t stay with a guy like him.

how could he protect you if something ever happened to you? this guy was so easy to manipulate. it didn’t take more than a faint punch and the closing door for him to lose his composure in front of gojo. wasn’t your boyfriend supposed to be strong enough, like him perhaps? what was this guy gonna do if he were to be in front a situation like this again? he can’t seem to land a single hit on gojo, instead, receiving the other end. gojo expects him to put up a fight, maybe ask him to stop, but he doesn’t.

he wasn’t the man for you. gojo was, he just had to prove it to you.

snapping a picture, gojo sighed.

“guess i’ll have to show her what she’s missing, don’t you think?”

your boyfriend can’t stop him when he walks out of the door, and neither can he watch him, his vision too red, and the iron smell stir his insides.

gojo looks through the guy’s phone. who leaves their phone without a password? he was only proving gojo his unworthiness. this guy wasn’t made for you.

all he had to do now is let you know.

you hear knocking on your door. it’s late, your roommate is out with her boyfriend and your boyfriend didn’t tell you he was coming. still, hopefully, you walked to the door, expecting him to surprise you.

what did surprise you was gojo on the other side, with flowers on his hands.

“did i surprise you?”

it’s too fast, or maybe not, you don’t know. gojo casually enters your house, the place you had so long worked to keep safe. he leaves the flowers on the table, and approaches you, wrapping his arms around your figure.

you’re not shaking nor reacting, and gojo takes in your warmth.

oh, how much he missed you.

“i missed you so much,” he whispers in your ear. “did you miss me?”

you reach out for your phone on the back of your pants, carefully bringing it in front of you to quickly deal your boyfriend’s number.

a phone starts ringing, and it doesn’t take you long to recognize the ringtone.

“oh, someone’s calling,” gojo mentions, letting you go to check your boyfriend’s phone. it’s like he was expecting you to do so, answering the call like he hadn’t seen your caller id on the screen. “yes?”

“why do you have my boyfriend’s phone?”

“we happened to meet before i came here, nothing too serious, don’t worry,” gojo pats your head. “he was being an asshole, though, i guess i just had to prove him.”

you gasp when gojo brings up the phone to your face, “w-what did you do?”

“told you, i just wanted to make sure he was enough for you. he wasn’t, though, so i had to come let you know.”

only proves we’re made for each other, don’t you think?

you shake your hand, taking a step back.

“listen, listen gojo,” you start. your voice is firm and your trying to keep your cool too. gojo has many times proven what he’s capable of, and right now, you only wanted to at least postpone whatever he planned to do. “i think you should go home, it’s like, my roommates coming with her boyfriend, i don’t think it’s fine if they see you here.”

“you think? we can find out though.”

“no, i don’t think we should, so, let’s leave it here, we can meet tomorrow, okay? we can go have lunch together and catch up like old times.”

gojo laughs, shaking his head as he looks down to his hands.

“why are you treating me like i’m crazy?” he asks, and your breath hitches. you stop and watch his movements, suddenly the atmosphere turning colder. “because i’m in love with you?”

“i’m sorry, gojo—”

“is it wrong to be in love? are you really blaming me for my feelings?”

you can’t tell if he’s being honest or putting up an act. once again, he’s managed to get inside your head. you don’t have more options and your minds clouded, unable to find a proper solution to the situation, unable to end this.

“just give me one last chance, that’s all i ask from you.”

gojo knows you too well, too much for your own safety and sometimes for his own liking.

and so you find yourself sitting at a restaurant a few streets away from your apartment, waiting for gojo to arrive. you didn’t believe you’d made an irresponsible decision - in fact, this was the smartest way to handle the situation. your boyfriend pleaded you to not come. you could understand that, he’d finally met gojo and he’d sensed it; gojo was far stronger mentally and physically than you’d suspect. it was fine. you weren’t nervous or scared, no, because, if there was something your therapist had told you, was that, as long as you set your boundaries and knew your worth, you wouldn’t fall for his tactics anymore. you didn’t come here to make friends with him again or to assure him everything was okay, you were here to let him know it was over. plus, you had decided to give yourself a day to decide what exactly you were gonna tell him.

“didn’t expect you to come in so early,” he mutters, taking a seat in front of you. “you’re fifteen minutes—”

“let’s talk,” you interrupt.

gojo can sense it, you’ve changed. when he looks at you, he can tell you’re not that deer he’d used to hunt for.

he wants to tell you the truth - the one he’s made up in his head.

“i love you, i’m in love with you.”

it hasn’t been more than five minutes since he sat down. gojo notices the lack of reaction, the indifference in your face, and suddenly, he’s feeling nervous. he’s not good with words and you know that, yet you’re not reacting the way he’d pictured, imagined, last night. you’re not telling him you’re in love with him too and that you want to try again. you’re not smiling or reaching out to hold his hand on the table, or getting up to wrap your arms around his body. you stay in your place, with eyes boring into his, waiting for him to say something else.

but he’s got nothing else to say, “gojo, i don’t love you.”

gojo doesn’t like that, you can tell by the soft tapping of his shoes under the table. the restaurant is full and you know the last thing he wants to do is make a scene. because, if he were to do so, his true colors would show.

“how are you sure about that? is it because of your boyfriend?” gojo asks, leaning closer to you. “you know he’s not the one, you know he doesn’t make you feel the way i do.”

“gojo, everything is in the past,” you sigh, tilting your head, tired. “the both of us made bad decisions, played with each other, hurt each other, but that’s in the past and it should stay there.”

“no! i don’t want us to stay in the past, i need us right now,” gojo mutters, and if you didn’t know him well, you’d almost think he was pleading. “we’re meant to be.”

“we’re not!” you exclaim, now losing your patience. “we hurt each other, can’t you remember that? i let you play with me and manipulate me, and now that you’ve realized i did nothing but try to please you you’re suddenly feeling guilty! but things don’t work like that, gojo, mistakes like that can’t be embedded that easily. you have to take responsibility of your actions.”

“i never wanted to hurt you, i wanted you to be stronger—”

“and i am now, thanks to you,” you say. “thanks to what you did to me i’ve finally understand that i deserve better.”

“how do you know i can’t make it up to you?”

“because i won’t let you, because i’ve found somebody else that’ll make it up to me, and it’s not you.”

“one chance is all i’m asking—”

“you already had your one chance, and you wasted it.”

“then another one—”

you’re sure six months ago you’d fell for that. you’d wished to give gojo another chance. after all, no one was more special to you than he was. you could say, until this day, gojo was the most special person in your life. that didn’t mean you deserved to suffer to help him make it up to you. whatever he wanted wasn’t something healthy and neither of you deserved it. but it wasn’t your job to make gojo understand that, it wasn’t your responsibility to fix gojo.

gojo knew you had changed. he knew he didn’t have the right to come back in your life, nor were you supposed to help him embed things. still, he wished he could still have you by his side.

“it’s time to move on.”

because now, when he looks up at the sky early in the morning to watch the sunrise, he knows he wasn’t made to stay by your side.

[its-me-im-coraline]

Amalfi Nights // Victoria De Angelis

words // 2766, SHOCK!

warnings // smut, pretty vanilla, softdom!vic, servicetop!vic, praise, kind of fluffy smut

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x F!Reader author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. as far as i gathered the request was about female reader so i did that, i can def change it to gn pronouns but unfortunately don't know how exactly i can make detailed smut entirely gn so i am sorry for that. anyways, i hope you enjoyed it, my smut skills feel rusty but it was nice writing some smut again

request // yes, here

summary // Reader and Victoria are for vacantion in Amalfi. After a candle-lit dinner at the restaurant, after a long day of swimming and sumbathing, Victoria just wants to show you her love.

(i forgot i changed the setting)

It was not unusual for the bassist to overwork herself. Sometimes she did not even realise what she was doing, she just worked mechanically writing, playing… She would ignore everyone and everything that was not her job, as if in some kind of tance that only allowed her to focus on one and only one thing.

The one that was truly affected by that - other than her of course - was her wonderful lover. Y/N had the patience of a saint, in the words of Damiano, being the only one truly able to deal with Victoria’s stubbornness. Some would call it patience, others call it tolerance, others name it thriftiness, Y/N simply calls it love. There was a lot of love targeted at the blonde woman, a love that made her lover unable to just let her push herself to the limit, no matter what she did.

As the ‘thrifty’ characterization indicates, Y/N almost always -with the exception of very few occasions when Victoria had some pretty compelling arguments- found a way to pull her out of that. Usually it was the plain promise of cuddles and kisses, maybe even sex would lure her out of her tiring working cycle, but this time nothing seemed to work. Y/N had to be really inventive this time and luckily it was something possible.

The plan went as such: a vacation at Amalfi, just for a weekend. You just put Victoria in the car and go. Nothing can go wrong. It seemed like a fool-proof plan, and truly it was. It happened to be fairly easy to convince Vic to get in the car. “Just get in or I’ll spend the weekend in Amalfi alone, no phone calls, no pictures. Nothing.” As always, compelling.

It seemed to be the girl’s weakness; Y/N. By the simple threat of not seeing her lover for a weekend, not getting any of the beautiful photos she was sure there would be, Victoria was ready to even teleport to the coast if possible.

Trouble started one Victoria sat herself in that car. From the first moment, when she opened the door, her insatiability was clear. “How long does it take to get there?” “Are we there yet?” “How much longer until we are there?” “When will we stop?” “Let me drive.” “I don’t even need the break.” This is how the entire three and a half hour trip went, with Victoria whining, complaining and asking to drive. It was worse than having a five year old but Y/N would never have it any other way.

Arriving there was a breath of fresh air. The blonde finally stopped asking questions and talking and her partner got the chance to enjoy some peace. It was truly beautiful. The sea, the mountains, the houses and even the hidden buildings, it seemed like out of a fairy tale, Y/N wasting no time expressing that thought. Victoria, being a few meters away, basking in the scenery, responded swiftly by walking back to her lover, leaving kisses up her face. “It’s only so beautiful because I have you here.”

Oh that sweet talk of hers, enough to make anyone melt, melt to their knees and beg for her love. Y/N felt helpless around her girlfriend, not in a bad way, although it could certainly be dangerous, but in a way of… being drunk, drunk in love, drunk by her beauty, by her personality. It was never about her looks and always about how Victoria could always lift the girl off her feet with only her words. She’d feel like she’s floating every time they are together, floating in the most beautiful dream.

The day passed by smoothly, the pair spending it under the sun and into the sea, they only stopped when the sun seemed to be setting. She might have not known how to show it exactly but Victoria was extremely thankful for the partner she had, knowing the lengths the other woman would go for her. She thought of the best way to show her just that, maybe with some dinner, the atmosphere was utterly romantic; the Amalfi coast, sunset hour was nearing, she had her lover right there, and all the means to show her how she felt. So she moved on with the plan.

After arriving in the hotel, Vic rushed to get herself ready first, hoarding the bathroom, winning herself enough time to set up the dinner.

“I’ll be showering now,” called Y/N, “might take a while, I think I burned my shoulders a bit…”

“Don’t forget to get ready while you’re there. We need to be ready the soonest possible if we want to explore!”

Her girlfriend hummed in response, Victoria having an inner dance party -and feeling bad for it- before going down the lobby to arrange everything with the hotel. From Y/N’s favorite food, to her favorite wine and even favourite flowers, everything was set to perfection. It was done surprisingly fast, the blonde woman taking an active role in it, realising how last minute it was. By the time Y/N was showered, dressed and ‘fancied up’ her girlfriend had everything but the food set. But it was not of the utmost importance, knowing that they could wait for it a bit.

“Hey, babe, I’m dr- essed… What did you do?” She smiled, mesmerized by the view in front of her. The balcony of their hotel room was set like a dream. Flowers on the table, two glasses for wine and said wine next to the table. She wasn’t sure how to react to such action.

“I only wanted to thank you, amore. You do so much for me, caring for me, baring my stubbornness. For fuck’s sake you brought me here cause I’m over worked,” she breathed out the last few words, unable to speak properly before moving to her girlfriend to kiss her.

“I simply love you,” Victoria whispered against Y/N’s lips, moving her to her chair before occupying her own.

The whole dinner revolved around the two just exchanging glances and flirty words. “You're hot, delicious, you look scrumptious,” one of them would say, a hungry look on her face, the other blushing, almost jumping from her chair. It was torture to just sit so close yet so far away from each other.

“Just move closer to me, dolcessa,” breathed out Victoria, signaling for the other girl to move her chair closer. Y/N did not hesitate to obey her girlfriend’s suggestion, quickly shuffling herself next to Victoria.

“Bravo ragazza. You obey very well, amore.” If it had been possible for Y/N to keep any sinful thoughts at bay before everything went out the window immediately as the blonde opened her mouth. “It will be extremely useful after dinner is over. Mhm,” she paused, leaving kisses on her girlfriend’s neck, “I am thinking, second course?”

Everything after that moment was a blur. The pair did not even get the chance to finish their dinner before Victoria had dragged her lover inside the room and pinned her right next to the window. Her kisses were hot and sloppy but Y/N would be lying if she said she’s complaining. If anything this moment is all she’s been waiting for today. The blonde never stopped her ‘attack’, moving closer and closer to Y/N’s sweet spot, assaulting the spot with the lips, her teeth and her tongue, taking special care of it.

Her trail only lowered as she kept on kissing and leaving marks all over, hands on her partner’s waist, lips on the swell of her chest. “You know this shirt drives me crazy, dolcezza! Of course you do. That’s why you wore it, huh?” Y/N couldn’t speak, all ability to form words and sounds was taken away by her lover. “Speak to me amore, this isn’t the time to be naughty.”

“That’s why I wore it,” responded the helpless girl, slowly being undressed by her lover.

“Well, it’s a shame it’s going away, no?” And with that the shirt was removed entirely, leaving Y/N’s chest almost fully exposed to Victoria, her action did not waver, though. She kept her direction to the girl’s bottoms, kissing above the top of her pants before throwing a questioning look up. Y/N only nodded eagerly, giving Victoria the permission she needed to presume her actions, removing the pants without much thought or effort.

“It is not fair, Vic,” whined Y/N, eyes semi closed with the pleasure the other girl’s feathery touch around her body provided, “you are overdressed.”

“You’re right, puppy,” she responded, swiftly getting up, dropping a kiss and seductively moving towards the bed. “Why don’t you come and return the favor? I got so tired undressing you, now you’ll have to it for me,” she taunted, smirking evidently as she held her self up by her arms, legs semi open on the bed, eyes eye-fucking her lover already.

A little bit of encouragement was all Y/N to get a little confidence and take the lead a bit. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” she whispered in Victoria's ear and started copying her girlfriend’s previous actions.

Her hands were going everywhere, unsure of where to stay or whether they should stay still. Eventually they moved under her shirt, massaging her chest there, emitting a series of moans to leave Victoria’s mouth. “Too much fabric,” she mumbled on Vic’s skin, opting to remove said fabric, making all access so much easier and revealing the beautiful lingerie underneath.

“So pretty you are Victoria. What a beauty. I got lucky, now, didn’t I?” The focus shifted on the woman’s chest. Her nipples were poking through the bra, doing very little to cover anything, but the goal was never to hide.

“Work on my boobs, baby, go on,” encouraged Victoria after noticing Y/N’s hyperfixation on said body parts. “I know you love it.”

No thought occurred before the last girl did as told. Lips left kisses and marks all over Victoria’s chest, paying special attention to the line above her bra. Her hands moved swiftly behind Vic’s back, unclasping her bra, removing it and moving to attack her nipples. They were perky due to the breeze entering the room through the open balcony door but also from the arousal. Y/N loved to love them, always one of her favorite things to do in bed. She loved to suck on them, to kiss them, even lick around them or pop her in and out her mouth like cherries.

Y/N was not the only one to enjoy the attention she gave them. Victoria would be lying if she said she did not get wetter and wetter whenever her partner gave her nipples so much love. It was possibly the hottest view, to look at her from above, gazes aligned, such delicious noises released by both lovers; wet sounds and moans. The whole scene was beautifully pornographic, straight out of a movie, so theatrical but genuinely felt.

The lower girl decided on the next move without a warning, slowly moving her hand to move under Vic’s fancy shorts. The discovery there made her insane, and only then did she really get sure that her girlfriend had planned for this to happen. The lingerie set seemed complete, not that it mattered that much anymore, the panties got most likely slightly ruined by just how wet Victoria was. No prep was needed, not much effort at all, she was entirely ready for anything, a fact that made Y/N feel proud of her work so far. Without a word, one of her fingers started pumping in and out of the blonde. Such a wonderful scene, the delicious movements of them both, the divine moans the blonde let out… It was a plain dream that neither of them wanted to get out of. Everything just felt perfect, like an all time high, and maybe it was just that, a high, one that both found themselves in quite often.

“This,” began Victoria, struggling to speak between her moans and thrusts on Y/N’s fingers, “was supposed to be a thank you from me to you, cucciola. Agh,” she struggled again, the pleasure just being too much, fingers deep inside her with constant friction on her clit.

“Stop, oh my, stop, amore. I want your mouth,” she all but screamed, rushing to unbutton and remove her shorts, all but ripping her panties off. Y/N simply shuffled to her knees in front of the bed, settling between Vic’s open legs and diving right in.

Not taking almost any time to breathe in between, just kissing her clit and ramming her fingers in and out of Victoria as her hands rested on her lover’s head, pushing her closer every time a wave of pleasure took over her. Her tongue was everywhere, the one moment lapping over Vic’s clit and the next one assisting her fingers inside the blonde. The whole ordeal had her pulsing and shaking underneath Y/N resulting in her cumming all over the girl's face with no warning.

“That was so hot,” giggled Y/N, getting up to leave kisses all over Vic’s face, absolutely adoring the whole fucked out expression she held. “I want to do it again,” she continued, just like a kid in a candy store, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“No, no, puppy! You were so good to me, but now it’s your time. You deserve to be loved.” It was all mumbled, but her tone was always authoritative.

“Just move to the bed, love.” With that Y/N did as told, moving onto the bed and spreading her legs, just like Victoria liked. Her back was on the headboard, leaning there to be more comfortable, hands already touching her own chest in anticipation.

“Keep the bra, cucciola, but I think the panties need to go… Mhm, not that I don’t like them, but they get in the way. Can you remove them for me?” It was not really a question but her lover still gave a small yes as a response. “I feel like you deserve a very good reward, puppy, don’t you agree?”

Y/N was sitting there in awe and staring at her partner, maybe a little worried by the toy or maybe just excited for the up and coming event. Giving pleasure to Victoria had only made her more hot and bothered, unable to wait for the said blonde to act.

And she acted, swiftly removing the black lace panties her enamoured bottom was wearing after she left kisses all around the line of them. It’s that moment she saw the effect she gained over the girl for the night; her panties were absolutely soaked, in a lot of spots not being able to distinguish skin from the fabric of the undergarment, making her salivate at the sight, opting to kiss her wet pussy over and over, stimulating her before working her magic.

Victoria started off slow, a very rhythmic tempo but tortuous at the same time. She went from one finger to two and three and then added her mouth into the mix, hiding herself between her favorite girl’s thighs, getting lost in the taste and the noise.

“You are doing so good, my love, taking my fingers so well, mhm, such a good girl.” The praise never stopped, only encouraging more and more sinful noises to leave Y/N’s lips, the same ones that were parted the whole time, swollen and begging to be kissed. Victoria did not hesitate to do exactly that, allowing Y/N to taste her juices, the kiss doing little to conceal the confirmation of pleasure.

As Vic’s pace quickened, Y/N was struggling to keep it together, falling apart in the blonde’s hands, cummiing with a loud moan and a series of curses as she was left there, in bliss; in afterglow. “Be a doll and drink this, precious,” whispered Victoria, giving some water to the girl, before following her own advice and doing the same. After, she moved to the hotel room bathroom, quickly finding a small towel to wet with warm water and clean both of them up.

By the time she walked back in the bedroom Y/N was practically asleep on the bed, sprawled out, just as she was left, as soft breaths left her. Victoria smiled at herself, proceeding with cleaning her girlfriend up before leaving a kiss on her forehead and getting in the bed, following suit and falling asleep.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

[elles-writing]

Daughter Moments

Request: Hello! I’ve read your imagines they are sooo good! I was wondering if I can request a Kili x daughter reader? The ploy can be anything you want but the reader has to be kilis daughter pls? Thankyou!!❤️

Requested by @imagines4everyone

A/N: First of all, thank you so much!! I hope you will like it!

Then also...The ending is my favourite.

Triggers: mentions of injuries, scars, angst, feels (if there's any more, let me know please!)

Tags: @guardianofrivendell @dumbassunderthemountain @imagines4everyone

Kili took a deep breath, as he looked over Dale. The town was beautiful, and he was lucky to be able to look at it during sunrise, every day, before he had to get back to his duties.

He felt the soft wind, running through his hair, and sun glittered in his deep brown eyes. He thought of his wife and daughter, and his mouth had soft dreamy smile in second.

When Kili came back to their shared chambers, he noticed Tauriel, gently stroking their ten months old Y/N's cheek.

"How are my two beautiful girls?" He chuckled, and his eyes were soft, as he looked down at his daughter and wife.

"Papa!" Y/N suddenly let out, and Tauriel and Kili looked at each other in shock and surprise. Their daughter just said her first word!

"You did it, Y/N! You did it!" Kili cried out, and started dancing across the room with his daughter in his arms. You giggled, and Tauriel watched the moment with tears in her eyes.

Five years later

"Papa?"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?" You frowned, when you noticed your father.

Kili was trying to make a surprise for Tauriel - his wife's birthday was a very special day to him, as well as your birthday - and this year, as any other, it was something sweet. Last year he made her a pair of twin daggers and got all her favourite sweets from bakeries around Dale.

This year, he decided to bake a cake.

Needless to say, it was very funny.

To watch, obviously.

You sat up on the chair, and Kili put his hands on his hips. You looked into the bowl, and giggled. You tasted a bit of it, and frowned.

"Uncle Fili said you can't bake, daddy." You shook your head. Kili nervously looked at you.

"What did uncle Fili say?" You looked at your dad, and decided to tell him everything.

"Well, Uncle Fili said you cannot bake, and that you only eat in the kitchen, and he was right," you said. Kili looked at the light-coloured dough.

"It is salty," you said, and Kili's eyes widened. He slapped his forehead.

"I really switched sugar and salt," Kili sat down to the table, and put his chin on his hands. You wanted to say something, but you noticed his eyes were filling with tears. You jumped off of the chair, and walked to him.

"Why are you crying, daddy?"

"I'm not crying," he said, and got up.

"Can I help you?" You gave him your best puppy-eye look, and Kili sighed.

You just had to get this from him.

"Okay."

When you finally finished the cake, the sun was rising, but you and Kili fell asleep, sitting by the table.

The finished cake was, however, worth it.

Twelve years later

"What did you say?" Kili frowned at you. You shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Kili's usually kind brown eyes had a spark of anger in them.

"That I don't care about you."

"Oh, this. Well, because it's true! You literally make any guy run away from me, and then you make me stay inside! How am I supposed to get to know at least one?"

"You have still enough time for boys." Your father shook his head, as if he tried to get out the idea of dating out as quickly as he could.

"Fine. But if anyone asks, it's your fault," you said half-upset, half-joking.

You almost opened the door, when you heard your father speak.

"You know I want you to have someone who truly loves you," you turned around.

"I...I, um..." Kili deeply sighed. He felt a bit of guilt about the misunderstanding.

"Sit down, please." You did as he said, and he gently took your hands to his.

"When I met your mother, I knew she was...the One. My One. I fell for her even more, when we talked for the first time. And a few years later, there was also you. I was holding you after you were born, and I promised I will make sure you will have the same kind of love, the person you will roll your eyes at, but know you wouldn't want them any other way."

"Dad, I-"

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just worried about you and want the best for you, but...the problem is, that in my eyes, nobody is good enough for you. I know you think it's the other way, but, it isn't. At least to me." You felt tears in your eyes.

"What do you think...mom would say?" You quietly whispered, as you felt tears in your eyes. He took a deep breath, probably to try to stop tears, too.

"Your mother would...secretly agree with me, but let you...let you go on an adventure, as long as you promise you are safe." Kili blinked to stop a tear, and sadly chuckled.

"You never know who you meet on an adventure."

You took his hands into yours, and gave him sad smile.

"She is alive. Trying to find her way back, from the orcs. Mom is a fighter."

"I believe too," he said, and looked outside. The sun slid across his face, and made his eyes spark, and showed you the way they used to shine when your mother was still there.

It's been a few months since you and your father talked, and you were on a ride from Hobbition. You liked to visit Bilbo and Frodo, and, as always, told each other news. When you almost got to Rivendell, you noticed someone lying down - with red hair. You stopped your horse, and jumped off of it.

You felt a rush of shock, when you realized who it was. She was full of cuts, but breathing.

You got to Rivendell safely, and when Lindir saw you, you let out just a whisper.

"Help her,"

You had no idea how did you end up in the working space of lord Elrond.

But, having soft blanket over your shoulders and sipping warm tea, after the shock, you wouldn't complain.

"Can I see her?" You whispered. Lord Elrond talked to a healer, and both of them looked at you.

"Your mother is asleep now," the healer carefully said. You nodded.

"Is she-"

"She is alive. We cleaned her injuries, and luckily, they were not even infected yet. You found her just in the right moment." You let out a breath. It felt like a huge weight fell off of your shoulders.

"Get some rest, princess Y/N. It will be good." The healer said, and helped you to get to other chambers, you guessed for guests. You laid down to bed, and fell asleep. You didn't even notice the healer turned around in the door, and slightly bowed, before he walked away.

You woke up into bright sunlight. You realized it was afternoon, and when you properly woke up, you found out you slept almost whole day and night.

When you took a bath and changed into light dress, you decided to go ask healer how was your mother doing.

You carefully knocked on the door. Someone slowly opened the door, and you realized it was the healer you already knew. After a short talk, he told you to get some rest. You decided to listen to him.

You didn't expect to fall asleep next to the bushes of lavender in Rivendell gardens, but the sweet, calming scent was strong.

You woke up with slight headache, and sat aside from the plants. You watched the sunset, and yawned. You also realized you haven't eaten whole day, and looked around for some fruit. You got up, and soon you found a few servants, who were actually looking for you, and as they mentioned dinner, you had no more questions.

At the dinner, you noticed the male healer you met earlier. You blushed when he noticed you looking at him, but he didn't do anything. Later, he catched your eyes again, and send you a tiny smile. You felt yourself smile as well.

After the dinner, Lindir walked you to your chambers. You took a bath, and when you got dressed, you opened your window and put a pillow and a blanket on the floor, to continue watching the sunset, and look at the stars. The sky was bright, and the fresh air made you feel lot better.

You got back to bed, but left the window open.

Your felt familiar smell, as you woke up. For a moment, you were five again, in your chambers in Erebor, and it was your birthday. Only other thing was the itchy feeling on your arms and legs.

Damn mosquitos.

"Mum?"

"I didn't mean to wake you, wildflower," you gasped and sat up, wide awake.

It was really her. Your mother, her red hair shining in the morning sun, looking at you.

Her face was full of cuts,which were in process of healing, and fading scars. Her hair was literally chopped off, now down to her chin.

Her green eyes were, however, full of motherly love. Just as you always knew them.

"This-this is a dream!" You let out a cry. She hug you tightly, and let out a cry too.

"I'm so glad you're safe..."

"What happened to you?" You whispered, as your arms tightened around her, afraid of it being just a dream.

"The orcs prisoned me, I tried to escape, but I was weak and didn't have any weapons. This time, I was finally lucky," she whispered, as she brushed your hair by her fingers.

"I'm here, Y/N. I promise it isn't a dream. I was fighting to run away every single day, and nothing could keep me away from you anymore."

Later that day, you sat down, to write a letter to Erebor.

Dear father,

I had to stay in Rivendell for longer, but, as you will find out - it was worth it...

Two years later

"Kili," Tauriel frowned at her husband. Kili looked at his wife with raised eyebrow.

"It's a boy, Tauriel!"

"And?"

"She's my little girl! She was born like...yesterday," Kili wiped off a tear from the corner of his eye.

"Well, our little girl is having a lovely partner. You will like him." Kili's eyes widened, and Tauriel tried not to laugh.

"You already met him? And didn't tell me?!"

"Well..." Tauriel would roll her eyes. Her husband was literally freaking out.

She didn't have the heart to tell him the reason you went to Rivendell or Mirkwood was because of your love, not because of political...anything.

Before she answered, you walked in, nervously smiling at both of them.

"I have, um...someone I want to introduce to you," you said. Your mother nodded at you with smile, and you sighed and patted your father's shoulder.

"It's fine, dad." You opened the door, and 'the elven healer from Rivendell', as you knew him two years ago, walked in.

"Mum, dad...this is, um, my boyfr-"

"Nice to meet you," Tauriel said, but looked at her husband by the corner of her eye.

"So...you are the elf my daughter is courting," Kili said, and you looked at your boyfriend. Him and your father were watching each other, and you gently took your lover's hand into yours, worried they might start fighting. Until...

They both broke a smile.

"Nice to meet you, Prince Kili. Y/N has told me a lot of good things about you."

"Y/N, would you come and prepare some tea with me?" Your mother asked you, and you both got out of the room.

You listened their conversation, talking about your meeting, and, your dad's, and your lover's, favourite - archery.

"I can't believe it!" You said, whispering.

"I know," your mother tried to hold in laugh.

"They literally-"

"Yes. Seems like they go along well."

"Now my dad will spend more time with my lover than I do," you pretend to be dramatic, but secretly you thought if it wouldn't be better if they didn't like each other.

You walked back in the room, with cups with steaming tea.

"Don't worry. Both of them know who are the best archers in the family," Your mother gave you a smile, and you proudly nodded, as you placed the cups down on table.

"That's not true, I always let you win!" They said at the same time, and you and your mother shared a look.

Later that day, you were with your father in the gardens. He was enjoying the quiet evening, and you were reading.

"Dad?"

"Hm?"

"You know...you said, about boys...that nobody would be good enough for me. In your eyes."

"Yeah." He nodded, and turned towards you.

"So, um...what do you think, now when you met my boyfriend?" You nervously waited for his answer.

"I think...I would never expect to say this, but...I approve him." You let out a laugh.

"Just because you're both good at archery?" He rolled his eyes.

"I wanted to say he seems to be very nice, but that too. We gotta keep the skill in family, don't we?" You shook your head and snorted with laugh.

"As well as recognizing elf men and elf maids." You started laughing when you noticed your father's wide eyes and flushed cheeks under his beard.

"Who told you that story?"

"Well...Uncle Fili has told me many interesting stories from your adventures," you said. Your father quickly stood up.

"Uncle Fili will quickly be reminded of what does it feels like to have younger brother," Your father muttered, as he walked inside the castle.

[lolabangtan]

If I have to scroll past 1 more dom!Seokjin fic I will scream like a pterodactyl into the void. I haven't read anything new for him in months! So I'm rereading old stuff. Thank you for having stuff to read. I only read sub!idol or non-kinky vanilla idol (if it's smut anyway and by no means do I only read smut) and the pickings are EXTREMELY slim. Which honestly... is weird. I'm a grown ass woman with a grown ass sex life and the extreme obsession with dom!idol in the BTS fandom is... weird. So very far removed from real life where there is huge expression of diverse sexual behavior and femdom ain't rare and not all kinks are related to BDSM and plenty of people also have vanilla sex. If an alien only ever read BTS fanfic they could be forgiven for thinking that male dom/female sub BDSM sex was the only kind of sex available on earth. Anyway, thanks for having stuff to read.🌹

Hello there!!!

Well, I can't say I don't feel exactly the same way. I do read only sub!idol or vanilla smut, but it still has the same dynamics, and it's not a fanfiction issue; even before BDSM (or whatever some dom idol fics are) men have always been expected to take the lead sexually. It's more than just sex, it's a dynamic rooted in our society. Also, I believe that the concept of "a man who takes care of you in bed will also do it outside of it" is often taken as "if your guy doesn't get dominant and take care of everything he doesn't care about you". They've taught women to seek that submissive role because of what it "means" in the overall relationship – protection, babying, being someone's priority. Naturally, this eventually leads to normalising it and seeing it as the standard while everything else is just a deviation.

We must understand that a social construct always has a stage where it's not normalised yet. BDSM dynamics weren't always as popular and standardised as they're now, so they were seen as "that cool thing people feel uncomfortable about." like, Lucía, of course it makes me uncomfortable to hear that you want Jungkook to choke you because you never felt your father's love 💀

So, this exciting dynamic is still normative enough (since it follows the giving man and receiving woman narrative, which is what we've been taught means he loves us) also means that now "they like it rough".

I for example kept thinking that I of course wanted a dominant sexual partner. I never even considered the possibility that my dissatisfaction wasn't because I wasn't very sexual but because that sort of thing wasn't for me. But I was a woman, and therefore I had to be submissive if not vanilla-on the receiving end.

This is something you’ll see in probably all fandoms. In mxf ships, the man is dominant. In mxm ships, the most masculine conforming character is the one picked to be dominant while the other one is left to literally be ‘the woman in the relationship’. This disgusting mindset is deeply rooted in misogyny, homophobia, heteronormativity, and transphobia. It’s not just ‘well most women like being choked 🤪’. Then we’d have to get into people who’s never had sex/BDSM sex proclaiming to be experts (when most of them don’t even use/know about the basic colour system for safe words), polluting the mind of minors telling them they have to enjoy being treated roughly in bed if they don’t want to get called ‘vanilla’ (god forbid lmao), and reinforcing the idea that women must take on a submissive/passive role in any aspect of a relationship while still taking an active role when it comes to babying/caring for others (the whole ‘fight his demons for him’ stuff is a whole different universe and I'm too lazy to even address it)

The other day I complained that dxm!bts fanfics are never tagged properly, just like female!readers or any other tag that people see as the standard. I have dm!bts blocked and I STILL have to overlook them when I fish for fics. It’s exhausting. Just so you realise how normalised it is for women to be expected to behave like that.

What I want to say is, the ‘natural’ tendency of women being submissive and men being dominant isn’t natural at all, it’s constructed. Meaning: you don’t inherit it at birth, you slowly assume it into your sub conscience, and thus it feel biological. But it’s funny because when one talks about biological behaviour (or inherited behaviour) it’s incorrect to use tendencies. Tendencies are ALWAYS social/learned, that’s why they aren’t a law.

BY THE WAY I have a request of yours I got a while ago that I still have to finish but it’s there and I haven’t forgotten lovely :’) <3