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ahundredtimesover · 2 days ago

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Something About You (05) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: friends au, vacation au, slow burn, romcom-ish vibe; adulting; inspired by AYS; PE teacher!JK and researcher!OC; fluff, comfort, smut (?)

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption, minor injuries (18+)

Word count: 22.1k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a decade. And while he’s the charming and dependable, often reserved boy-next-door, he’s also just been a friend - a constant in your life, a part of a whole, and someone who’s seen all the flawed and probably unattractive sides of you.

A resumption of your friend group’s out-of-town trips has caused you to spend more time with him. And somewhere in between the morning coffee in the forest, running around in the snow, and watching the sunset on a boat, he’s become something more. And you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.

🎶: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney || Yes or No by Jungkook

A/N: This is a long one! If you're reading this, I hope you feel the flutter of butterflies and that warmth I felt while writing. ☺️ And definitely listen to Beautiful Soul and Yes or No!

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”

You turn to Jungkook with a questioning look, waiting to see if he’ll change his mind. He’s been the one driving whenever you have a trip and you offered to be the one to drive both of you to the airport this time but he refused. While you know he enjoys this, you thought it might be nice to let him rest even a little bit.

“You’ve had a long day.”

“So have you,” he answers. “And you know I don’t mind. You can just sleep during the drive and then again during the flight.”

You pout again because of his refusal to accept your offer but you let him and no longer argue. Perhaps it’s what he needs after the day he’s had.

It’s a Thursday and there’s a long weekend ahead, which is why this trip to Jeju was scheduled at this time. Taehyung leaves for New York in three weeks and Seokjin and Hayoung are getting married in two months. This is the perfect time to get the group together again before the three of them go through major life changes, and none of you would miss it for the world.

You had a Board presentation that you couldn’t miss in the afternoon and Jungkook had classes until 3 PM, which then extended because of a parent meeting he had to attend. It’s why both of you had to book the later flight while everyone else flew in at noon. They sent a photo of all of them gathered by the pool at the rented house, and you couldn’t wait to finally clock out and switch off so you could relax and enjoy, too, even for just a few days.

Jungkook instructs you to buckle your seatbelt then heads off, undoubtedly tired but still alert and cautious while driving. You look at him and try to see if something’s different, if this really is the same man you’ve known for years. You look away at the reminder that yes, he is, and he’s not the one that’s changed. It’s probably you.

“Everything okay?” He asks as he glances at your direction.

“Yup,” you answer too quickly. “Just… you know, tired and excited.”

“Take a nap then,” he suggests. “Time will fly by and we’ll be at the airport and then in Jeju before you know it.”

“I’m fine. I can, uh, keep you company or something,” you shrug. “You kinda don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t mind it,” he says, the little dip on his cheek forming as he smiles.

Has he always looked this charming?

You shake your head as if to snap out of it.

It’ll take an hour to get to Incheon. You feel like you’d miss out if you slept and you internally scold yourself because a month ago, you totally would’ve dozed off right away.

Well, not this time. But even if it’s your own choice to stay up, you suppose that the universe was still playing with you because of all the times to be stuck with Jungkook, it just had to be now when your heart has been acting a little too weird.

It started right after the college reunion party almost two weeks ago. You had him sleep over at your place after some asshole busted his lip, and that’s when the thoughts of possible feelings started invading your mind. You blame Jimin, really, and you’d contemplated on keeping your distance from Jungkook to sort yourself out but that’s impossible given this trip.

It didn’t help that you promised his students you’d watch their final taekwondo match - which they won - so you spent last Saturday with him, too.

Your heart still kept doing that thing, especially whenever you found your eyes locked on him even if he wasn’t even the one on the mat. You went out to dinner after that, and you couldn’t help but pay attention - to the way he cooked your samgyeopsal the way you wanted, to how he made sure you always had them on your plate, to how he held off the perilla leaf for you so you could peel it off.

Suddenly, everything he did made you smile, like how he kept scolding himself for eating so much and then cutely asking if you were okay to wait in line with him at this pop-up dessert store.

So many things also started to seem attractive to you, like the way he stood during the match with his hands in his pockets and the way he combed his hair with his fingers after he removed his baseball cap. Even the way he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel while he drove became quite hypnotizing, just like right now, and you’re unsure where all these thoughts are coming from. Or if they’ll stop.

“So, how was your meeting with the Board?” He asks, disrupting your visions of him.

“Long,” you chuckle sarcastically. “The world’s in shambles and we have to be strategic in deciding which research projects to move forward with since funding is scarce. And you, how was your meeting with the parents?”

“Productive,” he hums. “I stepped out then met with their son. We were playing catch then I bought him ice cream then he opened up. I think we’re getting somewhere.”

Jungkook had mentioned one of his students has been displaying aggressive behaviors and wouldn’t talk to anyone apart from him. He realized early on in his teaching career the weight of his responsibility as an educator, and that just because he taught PE, it doesn’t mean he was limited to just sports or physical health.

As it turned out, he’s very relatable to his students, and perhaps his laid-back and placid nature has a lot to do with that. It’s what prompted him to read more research and watch documentaries on adolescent mental health and how sports could help with managing it.

You’ve been directing him to the appropriate resources and even linked him up with a professional who could speak to the faculty regarding child development so it’s a topic you’ve been talking about more. He tells you about their email exchange until he says that neither of you will be talking about work this weekend.

So you tell him about the sci-fi horror film you watched with Mo-eum last night and how you were both screaming at the same time then just ended up laughing at each other. Jungkook says she’s more of a scaredy-cat than you are but you express fear much more openly and you agree.

“I heard we can set up an outdoor movie theater in the house,” he smirks at you. “We have a couple of options.”

“Jimin’s gonna push me away again if I scream in his ear,” you frown.

“I won’t,” he says nonchalantly, and you have to pretend to yawn so you don’t have to keep looking at him without saying anything back.

What’s that supposed to mean anyway? You try to recall if he’s also always been this bold and you’re just getting affected now, but it gives you a headache so you change the subject.

You end up talking about where you’re gonna be eating in Jeju and memories of your first trip there as a group a few years ago.

And so time flies. You’re parking at the airport carpark before you know it. You check in at the counter then enter the departure area. It’s when your stomach starts to grumble that you drag Jungkook around to find some snacks that you feel like having. You find a stall that sells various kinds of croquettes, kind of like the ones you had in Japan a few months ago.

You’re wiggling in excitement and so is he. Cheese was his favorite and though it’s not the same, you’re both happy that they at least look like it.

You buy some drinks and find a spot and begin trying each type you got. He bites one then feeds it to you; you bite one then feed it to him, too. It feels natural, as this is something both of you have definitely done before and you never minded. But now, you have to force your brain to stop overthinking things just so you don’t start acting weird because of it.

It’s when you’ve both decided your favorite flavors that your phone starts to ring. You pick up the video call and see your friends on the screen, showing you the barbecue and dinner set up in the property’s outdoor space. Mo-eum’s voice goes through, saying that there’s a feast waiting for you and Jungkook when you arrive. Seeing the table now, your eyes widen at the quality and quantity of meat and vegetables laid out.

“We’ve got ramen, lots of beer, so many snacks… Jungkook’s gonna go wild in here,” she adds.

“I’m already drooling,” he tells her.

Your older friends greet and tell you to get there quick as the phone gets passed around. Finally, it reaches Jimin and Taehyung, who both surface from the pool and proceed to ask you and Jungkook where you are and what you’ve been doing.

“Eating,” you answer with your mouth half-full. “I found this stall and they sell croquettes that remind me of the ones from the rest stop going to the ski resort. It’s so goo–”

“Yah,” Jungkook disrupts you with a nudge on your arm.

You turn to your side to face him. “What?”

He takes a piece of napkin and wipes the sticky sauce that you didn’t realize has dripped on your hoodie. Your eyes follow his hand that tries to remove the stain, and just as you’re about to sweetly thank him, he flicks your nose to tease, catching you completely off guard. You shriek in surprise and smack his chest, which is your natural response to something like that.

You glare at him but your facade breaks when he scrunches his nose in amusement.

“Dude, wipe your mouth,” he scolds. “Do I have to wipe the crumbs off you, too?”

“What?” you ask, brushing them off with your fingers.

You take his phone and open the camera to assess your face. Once you’ve cleaned yourself, you snap a photo and return the device on the table.

“Did you just take a picture?” He groans.

“Yup,” you flutter your eyelashes.

Jungkook sees that it’s a silly face and decides to send it to your group chat of five to tease, though he doesn’t deny the giddiness he feels at the act.

It’s something you’d totally do. He’s seen random photos of you in Jimin’s and Taehyung’s photo album and you always say that maybe one of their cute friends sees it and asks for your number or something, but you say none of that to him this time.

“Wow, the one time Kook sends a text, it’s a picture of ___,” Taehyung laughs, earning him a glare from the said man.

But you don’t seem bothered. Jungkook’s unsure if you even heard it over Jimin’s giggling and the laughter in the background, but it’s enough for him to text his friend to shut up, earning him a chuckle this time.

You talk a bit with Hayoung and she reminds you of the instructions upon your arrival. It’s not long after when you drop the call and start heading towards the gate.

You don’t wait too long but during that period, you start feeling the exhaustion from the day. You know you’re gonna need to sleep during the flight so you could have enough energy to keep up with your friends for the rest of the evening. You’re definitely gonna make sure to make the most out of this trip to celebrate your cousin and soon-to-be cousin-in-law and of course, to savor your time with Taehyung before he leaves again.

You’ll do your best to not overthink this whole Jungkook thing for now and decide to just be natural about everything. You don’t want him thinking that something’s wrong if you start acting differently because you know yourself - if he asks, you’ll most likely say something and you’re unsure if you’re ready for what will happen after.

The call for boarding is announced and you follow Jungkook’s lead to the plane. He sits on the window seat like last time, and you’re reminded of the Japan trip again and how he made sure you got to sleep properly during the flight.

It’s a smaller aircraft this time and a shorter flight time so you won’t need to lie on his lap or anything. But the thought of being alone with him makes you a little nervous so you try to talk about something to make sure you balance out all the times that you’ll be lost in your thoughts of him.

“Those croquettes were good but the ones at that rest stop were still superior,” you sigh.

“Yeah. That was seriously one of the best things I’ve ever eaten,” he hums, reminiscing about that trip, which he tends to do a lot because of you.

“Do you ever just think about that trip, Kook?” You ask as you gaze out the window and watch the sky change colors. “Do you miss it and wish you were back?”

“I do,” he hums, downplaying it a little. If you only knew. “I miss the food, the snow, the long drives… There’re lots of great memories from that trip.”

“I miss those bits, too,” you smile. “You still have the whiskey I got you?”

“Yup, barely touched.”

“What! I thought you liked it!”

“Exactly,” he points out. “So I have to savor it. I can only get it from that town, and during the Christmas season, and the chances of me going there again are slim. Plus, you gave that to me and you’ve never given me anything. It’s like, a memento–”

“Of our friendship?” You say mindlessly.

You internally smack yourself because though you could sometimes be a dense person like your friends say - and only because you’re used to expressing your feelings and attraction first, as you like to argue - you’re not that dumb. You’re worried that you just drew a hard line by saying the F word but then again, why is that such a concern to you?

You realize he hasn’t replied and it’s been a few seconds already so you slowly turn to him. He meets your eyes and says that it is, then gives you a soft smile before he looks out the window.

Jungkook wouldn’t describe that exchange as him being friendzoned. As the optimist that he is, he’d like to think that your gift to him meant that much to you, too.

You’re the one who offered to get it for him and insisted it was a gift. After years of being friends, that was the first time you’d ever given him anything, and whatever it means, there was a change somehow. That’s a bottle that always brings a smile to his face whenever he opens his liquor cabinet and sees it. He’ll definitely keep it there for as long as he can.

You return your gaze out the window and glance at him. You’re glad that the gift means that much to him. You have the snow globes on the shelf by your desk and whenever you see them, you’re reminded of the snow-covered towns and the warmth from that whole week.

More recently, you think about the mornings where you watched Jungkook from the passenger seat as he navigated the icy roads. You think about your conversations and how he gave you a piggyback ride and then treated your sore muscles.

He has always been a good friend so you’re not wrong to describe that gift as a memento of your friendship. You know that what you share is something you deeply treasure, but you also wonder if it means the bond has strengthened then, or if somewhere along the way, it started to feel something more.

The plane takes off and Jungkook turns to you, looking every bit comfortable and comfy with his oversized hoodie and beanie. He gestures towards his shoulder, offering it to you.

“You sleep,” you say softly, knowing how tired he is, too.

“I will,” he yawns, sinking further down his seat and leaning on the window, his eyes slowly falling.

You nod, knowing that it’s the more natural thing to do. So you take your pillow to hug then lean on Jungkook’s shoulder, immediately finding a position that doesn’t strain your neck.

But your arms are a bit too awkward being in each other’s way and you see him adjust his. He slightly lifts it and you take the hint, wrapping your arms around his arm instead like an added pillow.

Now this feels natural, as you feel him settle himself more comfortably next to you and you do the same. You suppose that’s how it is with people you’ve known for years - you just adapt and accommodate each other. You manage the exhaustion and inconveniences and just figure out how to make things comfortable and fun.

You know it’s always been like this with Jungkook and you think back to these past months and how it’s been easier, more enjoyable, and something you keep searching for.

Maybe this is what it’s like to pay attention to your feelings. Because as you snuggle closer and he pulls you in, your hand brushes against his, and then the sudden urge to hold it fills you up inside.

You wake up from your hour-long nap feeling only a tiny bit better. You wish there was more time, but you’re also not sure if it’s because of the need for more sleep or something else.

Jungkook still looks tired, but he sits up and pats your head, then asks if you slept well. You nod as you take a deep breath and there’s a moment where you just look at each other, still in your own little world of comfort and peace.

He breaks it and curiously looks around, and you ask him what he’s looking for.

“Trying to see if there are angry passengers who might’ve been disturbed by the snoring from these seats,” he purses his lips.

It takes a few seconds for you to process what he means, and you smack his chest when you do.

“Hey, I didn’t say it was you. It could’ve been me,” he defends.

“Yeah, you do snore quite loudly,” you hum. “But apparently not much when you’re not comfortably in bed. Maybe I’m the same.”

“True. Well, no one’s giving us the death glare so I think we’re clear.”

You just laugh at him in response then get ready to deplane.

You get your bags from the carousel quite quickly and you immediately find your driver holding up a sign with your names. You get inside the car and once you start moving, you open your window to feel the wind blow on your face. It’s the last month of spring and it’s the kind of coolness that you think is perfect for this island life. It’s chilly but not too much. The sun is bearable and gives the right amount of warmth.

Jungkook glances at you as you enjoy the evening breeze. You’ve both just arrived but it’s felt like a dream since he’s been with you, especially when you cuddled with him on the plane. It felt bittersweet that he was exhausted. He at least didn’t completely lose his mind from the giddiness, but he also wished he could’ve savored it more.

Still, he’s not one to complain. He gave the opening but you’re the one who moved closer. He decides that maybe that’s how he’ll go about these four days.

You arrive at the house in less than half an hour and you could already hear all the noise that your friends are making. Hoseok is the one who opens the gate and excitedly greets you.

You enter the property and are in awe with how it’s set up. There are two houses perpendicular to each other. There’s a pool on the left side and in the center of it all is an area with trees and hammocks, a small fire pit, the barbecue grill, and picnic tables.

You try to take it all in in the midst of hugging all your friends and trying to tell them how your flight went.

“We just… slept,” you answer as most of them gather around you. “Neither of us snored. I think.”

“There were no complaints so I think we were fine,” Jungkook adds.

“So, how did you sleep?” Jimin whispers in your ear. “Was it your head on his lap, his head on your lap? Or did you just lean on his shoulder? Did he– ow, fuck!”

You glare at him as you let go of the tiny sliver of skin you just pinched.

“You’re a brat,” you groan.

“And you’re being sensitive,” he bites back.

“Yah! Can we not have fights during this farewell and pre-wedding party, please?” Taehyung calls you and Jimin out as he walks closer.

“She pinched me! And I literally just asked her a question,” Jimin complains.

“What was the question?” Taehyung seems curious now.

“How they slept.”

Taehyung looks at you with wide, even more curious eyes. “Ooh, was it like this?”

He takes out his phone and shows you a picture of Jungkook with a peace sign on an airplane and then there’s… you. Sleeping on his lap. This was during the flight to Sapporo when you were so tired and sleepy. You didn’t realize there was a photo of this moment.

“Where’d you get this?” You ask.

“In the shared photo album of the trip, duh,” he answers. “Mo-eum took it and saved it there.”

“Why is it saved on your photo album?”

“Because she sent it to me right after she took it. She thought it was cute,” Taehyung shrugs. “Don’t you remember seeing this?”

“I might’ve… But like, we had hundreds of pictures. I guess I just… swiped past it,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows as you try to remember if you’d seen it and what you felt that time.

“Yeah, because you weren’t really paying attention back then,” Jimin points out. “So, answer the question.”

“I… leaned on his shoulder,” you finally say. “Just like how I do with both of you!”

“Sure, it’s totally the same,” Jimin says while rolling his eyes, causing Taehyung to laugh.

“Jiminie,” you whine. “Hug me.”

“You’re such a baby,” he groans, but proceeds to hug you because he always does, and he knows it’s what you need right now. “You can also hug Kook, you know?”

“No, I’m shy.”

“When were you ever shy with affection?”

“Never, that’s why I’m hugging you instead.”

“Are you… crushing on him?” He gasps. “Like, for real?”

“Shut up. This is all your fault. You put ideas in my head.”

“Hey,” he says, pulling away to look at you. He cups your face with his hands, urging you to meet his eyes. “I asked a question that time because of the conversation we were having. I floated an idea and if it got you thinking, great. But don’t be carried away by what I said, okay? It’s about what you feel.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been paying attention, like you said,” you pout.

“And?”

“I snuggled close to him and it felt nice,” you say softly with your head bowed down, somehow shy about everything you’re revealing to your best friend.

“That’s good then,” Jimin smiles now as he tilts your chin to face him. “Maybe you’re still figuring things out or letting things progress over time or you’re making sure that it’s all genuine. And that’s fine. That’s… kinda what happens in non-whirlwind romances. Not that that’s bad but… you know what I mean.”

“I do,” you sigh. “But yeah. I don’t wanna act too differently because I don’t want him to ask me if anything’s wrong because I might blurt it all out.”

“Well, he’s gonna ask you either way with how you’re freaking out,” Jimin says, gesturing to the side when you look at him confused. “He was glancing at you looking worried. He might think something’s up.”

“Ugh. Why is he so attentive,” you whine.

“Well, someone has to be when it comes to you.”

You make a face and before you can say anything more, Yoongi disrupts the conversation and tells you to bring your things inside and dress up because your dinner is almost ready.

“Thank you, uncle,” you hum, hugging him tightly.

You hear him groaning in response because it’s Yoongi and he’ll always make that reaction before hugging you back.

“Go. The meat’s perfect when it’s just off the grill,” he says.

“Yes, uncle!” you yell before heading inside with your luggage.

But of course, Jungkook catches up to you and asks you if you’re okay.

“Yup. I just had to release my last remaining negative energy about this afternoon’s meeting to Jimin and now they’re all gone,” you lie. “I am going to just have fun these next few days and… go with the flow.”

“Sounds good,” Jungkook smiles. “So uh, they suggested getting our swimsuits on so we could go straight into the pool after. Otherwise we’d be too full to change.”

“Yeah, we should,” you hum. “Can I get in first?” You gesture towards the bathroom.

“Sure. I can dress up in the other bathroom. Want me to bring your bag up already?”

“Oh, okay. Let me just grab my stuff.”

You get your bathing suit and a cover up then get changed. You wash your face and tell yourself to just get it together and enjoy yourself while spending time with Jungkook and maybe that’ll make things clearer for you.

You open the door and shriek in surprise, as right outside the door is Jungkook, checking something in the cupboards… in nothing but his black swim shorts.

His taut arm is in view, and when he turns to face you with a questioning look, so are his toned chest and abs. You forget sometimes how built he is underneath all the oversized clothing and that this is literally the body you snuggled to earlier, just with clothes on.

And now that you have this little crush, everything about him is now magnified. Has he always been this… hot?

“I didn’t even scare you,” he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “I was going to but I was worried you’ll fall back and hit your head on the floor.”

“Wow, thanks for looking after my wellbeing,” you say sarcastically.

“Of course. That’s very important,” he smiles and pats your head, which again is a normal thing he does. But when he’s half naked doing it, you suppose you don’t blame your heartbeat for racing the way it’s doing now.

You walk back outside together and you scurry towards the picnic table, forcing your spot between Hayoung and Seokjin. You decide right then that taking a break from looking at or being near Jungkook’s bare body is the better choice, at least during dinner.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t glance at the pool area where he is because you do, and he just happens to be playing with the water guns with Jimin and Taehyung. You hear his child-like laughter, which is a contrast to the way his body flexes in response to the water. It’s already giving you a whiplash.

The conversation you’re currently having is at least entertaining, so you’re able to focus on this and not on the suddenly-so-handsome half-naked man not far away.

Until, of course, Yoongi calls him over because dinner is ready, and Jungkook rushes towards where you are, quickly wipes himself dry, then takes the seat between Namjoon and Suhyeon that they offered. Right in front of you. Yoongi places a platter of grilled meat and vegetables on the table while Seokjin passes two bowls of rice.

Jungkook’s hair is quite damp and there are beads of water sliding down his very visible chest and you find yourself being hypnotized by how he looks that you don’t hear him calling your name.

“Hmm?” You finally shift your gaze to his face.

“I was calling you,” he says. “What are you even looking at?”

“You took all the meat with fat,” you frown, lying like it’s second nature.

You take some pieces from his plate and he laughs at your expression.

“What did you want?”

“I was gonna ask if you wanted beer,” he shrugs.

“Yes,” you smile. “And a bottle of soju, please.”

He nods and jogs towards the cooler then returns with exactly what you asked for. You get back to eating, feeling like you’re in heaven with how perfectly the meat is cooked. You sing your praises to Yoongi, who says his joy in life is making sure his friends are fed with good food all the time.

There’s a lot of laughter and singing to accompany your meal. Mo-eum takes you around the property when you finish, saying how much prettier it is when the sun’s out. When you feel like you’ve digested enough, you head to the pool where the rest of your friends are hanging out.

“Obligatory rock-paper-scissors match underwater!” Taehyung yells. “Loser drinks a cup of my brother’s terrible concoction. Seriously, it sucks so don’t lose.”

It takes a while before it registers that he’s talking to you and Jungkook as the latecomers. Everyone has played and five already had the drink, so both of you make your way to the pool.

You moan at the feel of the warm water and you’re glad you didn’t pass up on the night swim. With the soft music and your friends laughing about, it’s the kind of vibe that you’ve been needing, nevermind that you have to sit on the pool floor in front of Jungkook, play a game, then get smacked on the cheek every time you lose. One side is see-through, so your friends watch you from there.

You try your best to act naturally around him, so you bicker and whine like you normally do. It’s a best of seven and he’s up, 3 - 0, needing only one more win. But you score on the next game and in your excitement, you smack his face a little too hard.

You're surprised with how forceful you were, so you surface from the water and he follows after you. Your hand is still on his cheek and you’re apologizing immediately, palming the spot and asking if he’s okay. Your friends are laughing hard and you giggle while also looking apologetic.

“What did I do to you?” He wails, as he places his hand on top of yours. “I was hitting you so softly!”

“I know but I got excited!” You reason. “And your cheeks are so soft and so smackable.”

“Wow. Thanks,” he deadpans.

You laugh in response and say you’ll give up the point as punishment, making him the winner, but he insists that he can keep playing and you might even win.

You mask your giddiness over him pulling you back with his fingers with a look of competitiveness and resume the game. You score the next one but he gets a point after you, and you concede immediately. He’s always been good at this game anyway.

He follows you out of the pool and you get the cup that Taehyung hands you. You smell it and gag, but you take the penalty and take a sip. You gag even more and Jungkook asks you how it is.

“Terrible,” you wince, making him smell the cup until he’s drinking it himself.

“Oh, that’s torture,” he says. “I can drink it for you.”

“But I lost.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs.

“I drink half and you drink the rest,” you offer, and he nods in agreement.

He follows through, earning you boos from your friends who say that you didn’t fully honor the punishment, including Jimin who’s smirking at you while doing so.

You wave them off and say that you’re too tired to finish all that on your own and they let you off the hook.

“Okay, I’m eating something to get that taste off my mouth and my memory,” you groan as you walk down the stairs to go to the eating area.

You start looking around but then you hear Jungkook nearby, saying that there’s Samanco in the freezer. You follow him but stay outside because you’re dripping wet, whereas he seems to have wiped himself before coming down so he enters the house and grabs the red bean flavored fish ice cream.

“Here,” he says, tearing it open then handing it to you.

“What about you?”

“There’s only one left. They said there wasn’t enough at the store. I don’t need to eat.”

“Have a bite at least,” you offer.

“Fine,” he says, letting you feed him as you push the ice cream towards his mouth.

You watch him as he takes a bite, then you meet his eyes without meaning to do so. He briefly holds your gaze and for a moment, you get lost in it, suddenly feeling this odd mix of shyness and tension that you’ve never felt before. It’s mostly because you’re rarely shy about how you feel but more than that, you’ve never felt this around any of your friends before, and Jungkook is one of them. So this is very… new.

He moves the ice cream away and you come back to your senses. You take a few bites then offer him another one then he lets you eat the rest until it’s all finished. You don’t even realize you both have just been standing there in one corner until you hear Mo-eum yelling your names, so you quickly get back to the group and explain that you just had ice cream.

You return to the water and just soak yourself. You stay with Mo-eum and Jimin on one end, while Jungkook is with Namjoon and Taehyung as they headbang to the music on the other. The rest of your friends are either wading their feet or sitting on the lounge chairs but it’s all good fun.

Yoongi finally gets up to announce that it’s just past 12 AM and he’s gonna get some sleep, and you reminisce about that one trip you had where most of you were still swimming in the pool and it was 1 AM.

“Yeah because you drank so much and passed out at 8, then woke up at 11 PM demanding us to swim with you,” Jungkook reminds you. “Then you fell asleep on the floatie.”

Everyone laughs at the memory but you scowl at him and act angry in the midst of stories being shared about that time.

“Why are you so far from him?” Jimin whispers in your ear while gesturing towards Jungkook.

“She’s probably still getting over their alone time earlier,” Mo-eum teases, earning her a surprised look from you because she rarely calls you out.

“Seriously, both of you,” you groan as quietly as you can. “I… I’m trying to balance it out. I’m gonna lose my mind if I’m constantly exposed to that… body.”

“So what, he just needs to put clothes on then you’ll act normally?” Jimin cocks an eyebrow.

“He just needs to… I don’t know,” you sigh. “This is on me. I’m feeling and thinking things that are weird and new. I just have to get my shit together.”

“But you spent so much time together recently and it might make him wonder why you’re not calling for him or something,” Mo-eum reasons, which is something you’d also thought about.

“Yeah and if he asks, you’ll tell the truth but you might also say things prematurely,” Jimin adds.

“I actually considered to kind of distance myself from him,” you admit. “I wanted to know if I’ll miss him and stuff until I remembered we had this trip and I just had to suck it up.”

“Well, you might still miss him even while on this trip if you deliberately stay away. And then things might be even weirder,” Mo-eum says. “Don’t overthink, just feel.”

“And wouldn’t it say a lot if, without thinking too much, you actually look for him?” Jimin adds. “That’s probably a bigger tell.”

“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll let my body do the figuring out, then.”

You disperse from your little huddle and submerge yourself in the water, as if symbolic of your decision to just let yourself be drowned in whatever you’re experiencing, in hopes that you come out of it more sure of what you really feel.

Eventually though, you all call it a night, and they let you and Jungkook go first in washing up, given the long day you’ve had.

You take the bathroom upstairs and quickly get cleaned. It’s after you’ve blow dried your hair and dressed up in pajamas that you feel the weight of today weigh you down, and you suddenly feel like you’ll pass out.

You lie in bed while Mo-eum takes a shower. Jimin is back and says that Jungkook helped clean one of the platters because it was heavy. You want to see him before you sleep just to say good night but exhaustion overtakes you, and your eyes shut before you know it.

Jungkook sighs - partly out of tiredness and partly out of regret - that he didn’t get back to your room early enough to make sure you were okay for the night. He still would’ve helped Suhyeon and Gyu-rim in cleaning up but still, he could’ve worked faster so he could return to you sooner.

He shouldn’t be wondering why it’s even a big deal for him, as he’s accepted that he wants to spend time with you as much as he can, especially during a trip like this where the vibe is exactly how he likes it. Even more, your good nights to each other have been quite sentimental to him.

He remembers that camping trip where he taught you a trick to fall asleep faster. Then in Sapporo, you talked and slept in the same room one night. He also can’t forget when you shared the same bed.

Outside of your trips, there’s the time you let him stay over, and many others after he’d dropped you off or you spent the whole day together only to separate in the evening. And so now being able to wish you good night this time makes him a little sad.

He’s back in the room that all five of you share - which is the entire second floor - and he finds you already asleep next to Mo-eum who’s on her phone. Jimin is on the other bed next to Taehyung who’s wincing in pain as he rotates his head.

“Kook, my neck hurts from headbanging earlier,” Taehyung pouts. “Can you give me a massage?”

Jungkook nods, as this is one of his roles in the group given his background, then proceeds to knead and stretch his friend’s sore areas. Taehyung moans and asks for an extension.

“Yah, do I look like a massage therapist to you?” Jungkook frowns.

“You could be. That was good,” Taehyung sleepily smiles. “Anyway, thanks. I’m gonna sleep now.”

Jungkook decides to take the floor mattress because he prefers its firmness, so Jimin stays in place and eventually falls asleep. The light from Mo-eum’s phone disappears and she mumbles her good night, leaving him as the only one still awake.

He’s exhausted but his mind won’t let him sleep just yet, even as he tries the tricks he’s taught you. He doesn’t force it and resorts to playing a mobile game under the covers instead. It’s about an hour later when he decides he’ll try falling asleep again and right when he pulls away the covers, he sees you sit up from the bed, rotating your neck and groaning.

He gives a thumbs up sign when you look his way to ask if you’re okay and you shake your head no. So he stands up, heads to you, then kneels down.

“You didn’t headbang with Tae, did you?” He chuckles.

With sleepy eyes and mussed hair, you shake your head again.

“I fell asleep in an odd position and strained my neck,” you mumble. “It hurts.”

He immediately tries to find the spot near the nape of your neck, asking where it hurts and you guide his hand until he finds it. He massages it thoroughly and he takes his time. He gauges from your reaction which areas he should focus on then instructs you to rotate your head in various directions. Your moans are low and even more pronounced given how quiet everything else is.

“Is that alright?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you respond with a smile. “I feel so much better now. And I don’t want to tire you.”

“You can let me know if it still hurts in the morning.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Without thinking much, Jungkook tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering as he fights the urge to do more.

“I thought I wasn’t gonna be able to say good night to you,” you whisper. “I fell asleep right away.”

“You did,” he chuckles. “I thought the same but then you woke up.”

“I get to say it then,” you smile once more. “Good night.”

Your face is just inches away from his that his heart beats extremely fast and he likes it, he likes the thrill and the calmness from the way you make him feel.

“Good night. I think I’ll be able to sleep now.”

He watches you lie back down and tuck yourself under the covers before he heads back to his mattress. A minute later, he falls asleep.

You wake up to the sound of steady breathing coming from the other bed, and you peek to see that Jimin and Taehyung are still in deep sleep. Mo-eum’s probably washed up, as the space next to you is empty, and you sit up to check how Jungkook is.

He’s sitting on the mattress, clearly having just woken up, but he turns to you to greet you good morning and ask if your neck is still hurting.

“Not as much, but it’s still a bit sore,” you mumble.

“Just do what I told you. It’ll feel better soon.”

You nod and start rotating it like he said. You check your phone. It’s 10 AM and you’ll have to leave in an hour for lunch, so you head to the sink that, oddly enough is located right outside the bathroom, and start washing your face.

You’re brushing your teeth by the time Jungkook starts walking towards you and you signal for him to give you another massage. He chuckles and stands behind you.

“You might choke,” he warns, and you wave him off and gesture for him to start.

Like you expected, he hits the spot immediately. You get so lost in how good it is that you don’t notice that you’re drooling until he tells you, so you signal that you’ll rinse. He pulls your hair in a ponytail so you could spit and once you’re done, you stand back up and let him continue.

You moan under your breath. You see him with his head turned and realize it might be a bit awkward, so you tell him that you’re all good. You turn around to face him, noting then just how close you are and when you meet his eyes, there’s that urge again to boop his nose and trace his face. You let your eyes wander to his lips for a millisecond before pinching his cheeks so hard that he winces in pain.

“You brat,” he growls, but it just causes you to laugh and run away from him.

He washes up while you change in the bathroom then you head downstairs to wait for everyone else. The sun is shining brightly but the breeze is a little cool. You think it’s perfect for what you’ll be doing today and you jiggle in anticipation once you’re complete.

Jungkook and Taehyung take a separate car with Jimin and Gyu-rim because they’ll be retrieving their rented motorcycle and Vespa before heading to the restaurant. You yell out your concern and tell them to be careful before heading to the car with Mo-eum where Seokjin and Hayoung are.

You arrive at the restaurant and eventually decide on getting some braised kimchi, hairtail fish, and a bunch of other dishes that get you excited. You’ve been looking forward to this after Jungkook said how good the food was since he’s the only one who’s eaten here before, and you truly can’t wait.

The rest of your friends arrive shortly after all the food has been served. Your attention shifts to Jungkook, who sits towards the end of the table while you’re in the middle, and your eyes briefly meet before you indulge yourself. Hayoung and Suhyeon alternately fill your plate as they often do, and moans of satisfaction quickly fill the restaurant.

The view of the ocean is as perfect as the meal and you’re truly thankful that you get to share all this with your friends. The seat next to you frees up, and you make Taehyung take it so you could hug him, as it slowly sinks in that he’s gonna be leaving in a few weeks.

“We’ll be back to video calls and you scolding me when I’m not getting rest and worrying when I’m not well because you can’t just show up at my apartment to make sure I’m taking care of myself,” you sigh.

“Nah, I won’t be too worried,” he smiles softly at you. “You’re in good hands.”

“Jimin and Mo-eum are worse than I am,” you point out.

“Kook isn’t.”

“Hmm,” is all you say, unsure if you want to openly talk about your feelings now, although you probably will before he leaves.

“You’ll be fine, ___. Just follow your heart,” he whispers.

“Have you been talking to Jimin?” You cock your eyebrow, suspicious now if they’ve been discussing things behind your back.

“I don’t know what you’re implying,” he says. “You know me, I say random shit. Take it how you want.”

You groan at him for being another person who’s making you think. But he just laughs at you and leaves you to your own thoughts when Mo-eum calls him to go to the balcony because she needs some air.

The others have also gone outside except for Yoongi and Gyu-rim and you’re honestly too full to even stand up. Just then, Jungkook takes the seat next to you and asks if you’re indeed too full to even move because you usually like looking at the views.

“I can’t breathe,” you frown at him.

“Yeah, you looked like you enjoyed yourself,” he laughs.

“So did you. You ordered like, three cups of rice,” you say. “We’re still going to a cafe after this.”

“So? Coffee and dessert are separate things.”

“True,” you hum. “How’s the motorcycle by the way?”

“It’s good. It’s a similar model to what I have in Busan.”

He rides occasionally. He doesn’t have an extra parking slot in his apartment so he left the one he has at his parents’ house, which he drives around whenever he’s home.

“So it’s safe and stuff?” You ask.

“Of course it is. Jimin even rode with me on the way back here.”

“Did he enjoy it?”

“Always. I’m a very safe rider,” he assures you. “Do you want to try?”

“I’m kinda scared. I’m not good with balancing and like, being steady,” you explain.

“But that’s my job. You literally just have to sit there and hold onto me and enjoy the wind and the scenery. Sounds good, right?” He tries to convince you.

It’s very tempting, you’d admit, especially since you’ve committed to just letting yourself feel everything and enjoying a ride with him is one other way to do that.

“I’ll think about it,” you shrug.

He tells you more about riding until Hayoung says you’ll leave in 10 minutes. So you attempt to stand up to at least get a better view of the ocean on this side. Jungkook is there, pulling you by the hand while laughing at you. Your fingers linger, and you quickly let go of him before he notices a hint of desire for his touch.

He goes with you outside and while earlier, both of you couldn’t stop talking, now, it’s just quiet. You suppose he’s basking in the sights and how peaceful everything is as well, and you just feel that calmness being next to him.

And it’s… new. Not the feeling, but the fact that you could feel giddy and content right after. So you savor it a little more.

You all eventually leave and head to your next destination. It’s a nice ride to the cafe, too, and you sit on the backseat with your window rolled down, looking at the ocean.

Jungkook pulls up next to you in his ride and this is a look that gets your heart racing, too. He’s got his black helmet on and with his exposed tattooed arm, he looks pretty cool.

Your chin settles on your arm that’s by the window and you watch him. He turns to you at the stoplight and pushes his shades up.

“Be careful,” you say from inside the car.

He gives a thumbs up then extends his arm for a fist bump, which you give. It also makes you laugh. The light turns green and you’re off again. Mo-eum and Jimin laugh at you from the front but you wave them off and no longer threaten them with physical injury.

You’re accepting it, you think. It’s like getting used to this feeling, letting it embrace you, the way you’re allowing yourself to embrace all of it.

You head to a quaint cafe near the mountains. It has a homey vibe, not just because it literally is an extension of the owner’s house, but also because of the warm interiors, the shelves of old books and manuscripts, unfinished paintings… and two cats, which Jimin plays with and almost cuddles.

You take up the entire space and it gives some of you a chance to speak to the owner, a former author whose wife is an artist. You mostly listen though, especially once he talks about how life in the country and this town was several decades ago. You opt for a cup of tea to help warm your still very full belly, but you do get a taste of Jungkook’s misugaru and pretty much almost everyone’s else’s drinks because that’s how you are.

Sitting next to Hayoung, you have a good view of Jungkook from the side, and you take notice of how he smiles at certain parts of the man’s tales and when he turns serious and contemplative when the man talks about his wife.

The stories prompt you to ask your cousin how she’s feeling as she counts the days to the wedding. She sighs as if she’s still in disbelief that it’s so close. Or perhaps that she found a man like Seokjin who truly makes her feel like it’s possible to feel content and happy in this life.

“I’m marrying a man who makes me laugh, ___. A man who laughs at my jokes even if they’re not funny,” she smiles. “And I know it may sound so simple but I don’t really know what else could be better than this feeling, you know? He makes me feel good about myself. He enjoys things with me. He shows me how to be a good and happy person. And I get to spend the rest of my life with him.”

You think of your definition of simple and it used to make sense to you. You meet someone, instantly become attracted to them, find things about them you like that mirror what they like about you, be overwhelmed by the unrelenting yet unexplainable feeling towards them, then decide you want to be with them.

Looking back, nothing about it was simple. Perhaps it was just all shallow. The intensity was surface level and never really got the chance to dig its roots.

With Hayoung, simplicity is in the consistency, you think. It’s in the everyday and every second together.

You spot Seokjin looking to where you are and upon realizing that she was admiring him from afar, he gives her a flying kiss, causing you to snort.

“He’s so ridiculous, it drives me crazy,” she laughs.

“You’re perfect for each other,” you smile as you hug her tightly.

“It took a while for us to realize that but I guess that was the whole point,” she hums. “We’re as committed and as happy because it wasn’t too early nor too late.”

“So it’s really the timing huh?” You ask, recalling the conversations about relationships during that camping trip.

“It is but it’s also a choice. You both decide you want to be the right person for each other,” she says. “Regardless of who confessed first, the other person could’ve chickened out but neither of us did. We knew enough about each other that we were willing to make that move.”

“Oh, to be mature like you,” you sigh. “I can’t relate.”

“You’re honest about your feelings, ___. Not everyone is that brave nor that true to themselves. That’s maturity in my book.”

You drive out and head to the port next. The rented yacht you enter is pure luxury, and this is one of the moments where you thank the universe that you ended up being friends with a rich pair of brothers, one of whom also happens to be your future cousin-in-law.

The size is perfect for all 12 of you - not huge but cozy enough to not feel too separated from each other. There are so many areas to hang out in - the front, the back, the top, and inside. You’d forgotten what they were called and was just in perpetual shocked mode when you were being toured around. There’s lots to do, too, and you have all the time to entertain yourselves, as you’ve got this boat until past sunset.

You all gather at the lounge area while waiting to get to the snorkeling spot. You play music, drink some mocktails, and dance around. Half an hour later, you’re told that you’ve arrived, so you all move to the other end of the yacht and jump in the water.

It’s the right temperature for this afternoon. It’s cold but not freezing, and the feel of the ocean is every bit refreshing as you remember.

Yoongi and Hoseok sit on the swim platform. You stay near the boat with Suhyeon and Gyu-rim - the most cautious of the bunch, while the rest dive and explore farther out. You watch them enjoy themselves, especially Jungkook, whose laughter you can pick out even from where you are.

He removes his mask and waves at you before disappearing under the water again, only for him to end up next to you.

You shriek in surprise when he does, and you smack his chest to call him out because you thought he was a shark or something.

“Seriously?” He laughs.

“You never know,” you shrug.

“Well I’ve gone deeper and there’s none of that. Only more fish and prettier corals. Wanna see?”

You hesitate. You’re only a little bit terrified of the water; having siblings who watched Jaws all the time did that. While you know it’s safe, there’s something about the open water that’s insanely overwhelming for you because there’s so much you don’t know and much more you’ll never know. There’s a whole world down there that’s too terrifying for your human mind to comprehend and it makes you feel so small and insignificant. It’s like that cosmic horror shit that Jungkook was telling you about this one time.

But you also know that the little bit of what humans do know is pretty amazing. And just like how you are with your horror films, you suppose the fear is part of the experience, too.

“Fine, I do wanna see,” you finally reply. “I’m just a little scared.”

“Alright then. We won’t swim too deep. I’ve got you,” he says, gesturing for you to get under.

You follow him and reflexively take his hand, allowing him to guide you towards the reef that you see isn’t far away. You know your basics in swimming so it’s not hard, but just the idea that there’s all this around and all over you is what gets to you.

But with Jungkook right in front, holding you tightly, and constantly looking back to check how you’re doing, you suppose it’s not bad at all. And when you finally see what he wanted to show you, you understand that that initial fear, the immediate relief from the safety he provides, and then the beauty of what’s waiting for you is all part of the experience.

When you’ve taken it all in, you begin swimming back to the surface and don’t let go of his hand. The light from the sun penetrates the ocean and it makes the scene before you even more captivating. You emerge from the water and breathe, then smile at him for keeping his word.

“How was that?” He asks.

“Pretty,” you say. “Thank you, Kook.”

“Glad that didn’t disappoint,” he says.

You waddle back to the yacht and you’re more independent this time. You meet with the rest of your friends and just float about, enjoying the sun and the feel of the water on you.

One by one, you all head back up. Some stay by the steps, the others have begun fishing, and a few have started washing up. You announce that you’ll go back to the lounge area to get your phone and Jungkook follows because he wants to dry his shirt.

He removes it and grabs a towel that he wipes himself with. You glance at him as he dries his hair with it then wraps it around his waist, disturbing you with what you’re supposed to do.

Of course, of all times that he has to be half naked again - and during the day - is when you’re both alone and you have nothing to distract you nor keep you from ogling him.

Because now that you care, you actually pay more attention and realize that his type of ripped is exactly your type.

You’ve generalized your guy friends and said they’re all handsome. You’ve said it mostly to Hoseok before he got a girlfriend and to Seokjin because, well, he makes everyone say so. You always told Taehyung that you found him cute, but perhaps the most honest you were was when Namjoon showed up in a green sweatshirt and glasses one time and you whispered “daddy,” not realizing the words didn’t actually remain in your head. The teasing started right after that.

You’ve often passed off Jungkook as having these charming, boy-next-door traits which wasn’t really your vibe. You were always too intense for that and the men you pursued tended to match your energy and so Jungkook, even physically, felt a bit tamed or reserved to you.

But now, you can see that you were really just a silly girl. His abs aren’t too pronounced when he doesn’t flex them but even you can tell there are eight of them there. They also hold up a pair of perfectly toned pecs. His entire torso is smooth, including his back that’s divided by that deep line that lets you know just how hard he works on it.

And his arms. They don’t seem much but he’s flexed them a few times since last night and you have to pretend you need water every time to mask that you’re actually really just thirsty for them. Maybe it’s the fact that one is covered in tattoos and the other isn’t. The contrast gives you a whiplash, even more when you realize that connected to the feet that you make fun of because of his toe socks are massive thighs that could—

“___?”

“Hmm?”

“Is there anything else you need?”

“My phone,” you stammer.

“You’re holding it,” Jungkook says, gesturing towards your hand that is indeed holding it.

“Right, I got it,” you reply, turning around because suddenly, it’s hard to breathe.

You were definitely ogling him last night but now, he’s half-naked with the sun out so you’re noticing everything, including his tiny waist and—

“I’m gonna go and watch them fi— ow, fuck!”

But of course, you hit your head on the side of the roof that has a sign that says “watch out” next to it. Not that you were paying attention anyway because you were, in fact, trying to get away from the man who’s been invading your thoughts in ways that are so unexpected for you.

You slowly fall on your butt and wince in pain. And who else would go to your rescue but him?

“___, it literally says there to watch out,” he chuckles as he crouches to face you. “You’re not even that tall.”

“Yah!” You smack his chest in reflex, only to feel the tingle from touching his bare skin. “It hurts.”

“Oh shit,” he says now, his face turning serious. “Is there a bump?”

You feel around the top of your head and discover something that definitely wasn’t there earlier. His hand hovers so you guide him to where you feel it.

“Yup, that’s a bump,” he sighs. “You’ve got to be careful.”

You only pout and whimper when he puts pressure on it.

He grabs a can of soda from the cooler and places it on your head. He instructs you to keep it there while he looks for a cold compress, which he does, a few minutes later after going to the cockpit and asking for it.

He sits next to you on the ledge while he holds it in place because you say your arm is getting sore. But he turns towards you now, so you also pay even more attention to his face.

His dark doe-eyes are filled with worry, and you realize they’re captivating like this just as much as when they’re painted with joy or admiration. His nose is even cuter this close, and you don’t know how to convince him that you’re sincere about your attachment to it, even more now. His eyelashes are so long and they flutter against his honeyed skin. And then his lips, they’re so pink and chapped that you just want to—

“___?” He calls your name again.

“Hmm?”

“Seriously, did being underwater and then hitting your head make you dizzy? Do you have a concussion that’s why you’re unresponsive?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not a concussion,” you say. “I’m just—”

You fake yawn to make an excuse. Only for you to actually feel sleepy right after.

“I think I need a nap.”

“Okay,” he laughs. “Get dressed then you can lie on the sofa.”

You rid yourself of your wet clothes in the bathroom. From there, you hear Jungkook inform your friends that you hit your head and Jimin yells that you can’t lose your memory because you still owe him dinner.

You get back on the lounge to cuss him out then say you’re okay but that you have a bump and now you’re sleepy.

“I hit my head there earlier,” Taehyung says.

“Why didn’t you warn people about it!” You exclaim.

He shrugs but Jimin pipes in.

“He probably didn’t think that anyone would be dumber than him.”

“Yah!” You yell, threatening to flick his forehead.

He runs away and heads back to the other side. Most of them follow, as Seokjin and Yoongi compete with each other on who can catch more fish. Suhyeon and Hoseok stay near the railing, leaving you and Jungkook semi-alone in the lounge. He at least has a shirt on this time.

You’re both sitting on the couch and you give in, grabbing a small pillow and placing it on his lap for you to rest your head on. It’s too late by the time you realize that there’s so much space elsewhere but you chose this. You chose to be this close, so you just let it go. You’d made yourself look stupid earlier already, might as well own this.

But you do peek at him and see that he’s got his head leaned back, perhaps taking a nap, too. He feels you move and he turns to you, seemingly unbothered at your obvious lack of respect for his personal space.

“You okay?” He asks, placing the cold compress on your bump once more.

“Hmm,” you nod.

“Go sleep.”

You turn to your side and savor the sight before you as you slowly drift away, the blue sky with threads of the clouds strung around making you feel at peace. Jungkook pulls your hair back so you’re more comfortable, reminding you of last night and how his fingers brushed your face.

You smile to yourself. You’re definitely owning this feeling.

You wake up to light taps on your shoulder. Jungkook tells you that you’ll miss the sunset if you keep sleeping, so you sit up and look around. Your friends have returned to this side of the boat, with some of them sitting on the other couch while the others are by the railings, enjoying the last bits of light. You see a bowl of tteokbokki on the table in front of you, and your eyes widen, as you realize right then that you’re quite hungry.

“Can you–”

“Want me to heat it?” Jungkook finishes his question first.

“Yes please,” you shyly smile, remembering that he knows you don’t like eating your food cold.

“Sure,” he says, then grabs the plate and heads inside.

“Did you sleep well?” Jimin appears out of nowhere.

“Yeah,” you hum. “I feel better now.”

“Good,” he smiles.

He walks to the lounge area with Mo-eum and they sit next to you.

“You missed out on the fun parts! Tae caught some fish,” Mo-eum excitedly says. “I told him it was probably genetic.”

You laugh. “Did any of you catch anything?”

“Nope. But Gyu-rim did. You should’ve seen Yoongi’s face, he was so proud and he was blushing,” Jimin gushes. “Kook probably would’ve caught some if someone wasn’t sleeping on his lap,” he smirks at you. “He missed out on the fun thanks to you.”

“I–” you frown. “He told me to take a nap.”

“On his lap?” Mo-eum asks.

“No but like, it was there,” you sigh. “Okay, can I just say? I completely lost it earlier. I was staring. Like, I was literally ogling him. This isn’t normal.”

“___, chill. We’re all used to you already. You literally always hug Tae’s arms and say how they’re so big. And you always call him handsome. You also called me hot before,” Jimin reminds you.

“I totally would’ve dated you for your body alone,” you remark. “But I’m not the type to do that.”

“You dated Seungho because he was hot though,” Mo-eum points out.

“Shush, that was only 92% of the reason,” you correct her.

“Back to my point,” Jimin nudges you to look at him. “You called Joon daddy one time, remember? You ogle, ___. We know that.”

“Wow, you make me sound like a perv,” you scowl.

“None of us literally care.”

“Fine. But I was all of a sudden speechless with Kook. Like, I always knew he had a nice body but I just never really bothered to look look. And now I have and he’s so hot and I’m–”

“Sorry it took a while, the microwave was being weird,” Jungkook returns to the lounge. “Got you soda, too.”

He places your meal in front of you then heads farther out the deck with the other guys.

“Shit, do you think he heard me?” You panic.

“Doubt it. But if he did, so what? Not like you don’t compliment him about his looks,” Jimin shrugs.

“I tell him his nose is cute,” you deadpan. “That’s totally different from saying he’s hot.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jimin shakes his head. “You just have to get used to it. This is an island trip, ___. He’s gonna be half-naked for two more days.”

“I need saving,” you sigh, prompting your two friends to laugh at your dramatic antics.

You eat your snack while they talk about what happened earlier. It’s a good distraction from your thoughts of Jungkook, even if they’re technically still there because it’s his back that you’re currently looking at. You laugh at yourself this time because you’re being silly.

Sure, it’s a bit unfamiliar to suddenly be physically attracted to him, but even more because you’re unable to express it, which is unlike how you normally are with your friends. You’re usually very open and playful about it with them but with Jungkook, you’re quite cautious. You’re worried you’ll say too much or that he’ll even feel the heat from your entire body as your natural reaction.

This is perhaps another indication of how you really feel. You’re more shy than usual, but as you look at him from where you’re seated, all you want is to bask in that shyness, too. It at least tells you that it’s not all shallow and superficial when it comes to him.

You stand from your seat and clean up. When you go back out, you see that all your friends are now on the deck, lounging on the chairs and the netted structure as the sun starts to set. Seokjin and Hayoung are being all couple-y. Yoongi and Gyu-rim are in their own world in the corner. Namjoon’s dancing to some song with his earpods on, and Jungkook and Jimin are going Titanic mode and laughing at each other.

You laugh, too, and it’s another feeling that’s new or perhaps, just more pronounced. You like seeing Jungkook be silly and enjoying himself. You like seeing him feel free. It’s something he experiences and all you can do is watch, and that makes you feel good.

Jungkook loses his breath from role playing and play-fighting with Jimin. It’s something they’ve always done as kids and they never really outgrew it. But his best friend surrenders after a while and Jungkook decides to have mercy on him.

Instinctively, he turns towards the lounge to look for you, and he finds you there, sitting on one of the chairs, smiling at him. He’d spent pretty much the entire afternoon with you - swimming, snorkeling, icing your head, and serving as your pillow yet again for your afternoon nap.

And he has nothing to complain about, especially because you held his hand while you were in the water, and you looked him in the eyes more times than he could count, and you snuggled close to him after he told you to sleep.

He gestures for you to come over and you do. You take your spot on the floor and he takes his next to you. You scoot closer and rest your head on his shoulder, just like always and he likes this. He likes how you seek him, knowingly or not, and that you find comfort in whatever he could give.

He’s unsure of what it means on your end but he doesn’t want to assume nor impose; he decides he’ll hope only a little. He’ll savor whatever this is as part of the experience. He’s hoping it’s something you’re doing, too.

Everyone is quiet during the sunset, as you all bask in the changing of the sky’s colors and how majestic it looks from where you are. You eat dinner on the boat and find that a hearty meal of pasta, pizza, and steak in the middle of the ocean is the perfect cap to what you think is a perfect day, even with the head bumping and the spacing out.

Hayoung and Seokjin say a few things, as it’s their pre-wedding trip, and you’re tearing up by the end of it. Taehyung gives a speech, too, and you all burst into laughter. It’s practice for the real deal during the wedding, he says, but you already know he’ll be crying then.

You head back to the house after and make sure to remind Jungkook to be careful during his ride. You notice that he tries to stay next to your car and gives you a smile when he sees you look at him, as if in assurance that he’s okay.

You spend the rest of the evening drinking indoors while playing games and singing karaoke. It’s later on in the night when you feel the pull of the cool breeze.

Some of your friends have tucked themselves in bed already. Jimin and Mo-eum are dancing and singing like they’re at a club. Namjoon’s passed out, and Taehyung and Hoseok look like they’re having a heart-to-heart near the hammock. Jungkook’s gone to take a shower so you head out to the pool, dip half of your legs in the water, then lie on the ground to look at the night sky.

The full moon is stunning and your only regret is that you’re a little tipsy so your glazed eyes can’t fully savor its beauty, but you try. Cozy in your hoodie and with your hands behind your head, you take a deep breath and take everything in. You don’t always get to have this time to be away and just live in the moment, but you know you’re lucky enough that you even have the opportunity to.

“___?”

You turn to the side and see Jungkook, drowning in his oversized hoodie, approaching you. You gesture to your side and he takes the spot next to you. He lies down and rests his head on his hands, too.

“Haven’t you taken a bath?” You ask.

“Yeah, and I can do it again,” he shrugs.

He takes in your sluggish state and asks if it was too loud for you inside.

“A little,” you say. “But I also needed time alone.”

At your words, Jungkook apologizes and tries to stand up, but you pull his arm and shake your head.

“And I already had it,” you say. “I don’t need you to leave.”

“Sorry, I should’ve asked.”

“You don’t need to though. You - anyone, really - are always welcome. More like, needed,” you smile. “I enjoy having you around, Kook. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that before.”

“You have, a few times. Mostly when you were drunk though. Like now,” he teases.

“I always mean it though, especially now,” you tell him, more seriously than he is.

“Well, I’ll always be,” he assures you. “You know I’m always there for you, right?”

“You are and you have been - driving me around, changing my lightbulb, shopping with me, cooking for me…” you say, somehow feeling this heaviness at the thought that maybe you haven’t done much for him the way he’s been doing things for you.

“I like doing them, the way I think you like helping me with my workplans or talking me through tough days at work or watching my students’ games to cheer for them and me,” he responds, somehow knowing that you needed to hear that, too. “And you know, making me laugh. A lot. You’re clumsy and a mess sometimes and it makes my day.”

“Why does it make your day?” You turn to him.

“Because you don’t care, and I mean that in an endearing way,” he clarifies. “You… just let yourself be who you are in front of us. That’s refreshing, you know? I think we all have our quirks and habits but we’ve spent so much time together as a group that it just feels like we’ve adjusted to each other.”

“That’s the great thing about friends, right? About people you’ve known for years? You don’t have anything to hide from them. Over time, they just learn all these things about you and just… live with it,” you say. “It just becomes a part of who they are, too, like how my being clumsy and clueless and spoiled and dramatic has just become an aspect of all of you being caring and dependable and understanding. It’s as if our qualities and parts of our personalities kind of just intertwine in that way.”

“That’s true. It’s like how romantic relationships end up being. Or should become. At least that’s what Seokjin and Hoseok tell me.”

You’re quiet for a while as you realize that yours never got to that point. It makes sense though, as they only lasted two years max but you never felt your personality intertwine with your exes in any way.

“Hmm, can’t relate,” you sigh. “Jimin and Mo-eum made me realize that there were parts of me that I didn’t really wanna show Jeong-su and Seungho.”

“Do you know why?”

“Could be dozens of reasons. Maybe it was them. Maybe it was me.”

“Maybe you just didn’t know them long enough,” Jungkook says, hoping that nothing he says is triggering for you. “I mean, it’s how it is with people and relationships. You learn about yourself the more you spend time with them and the more you do, the more of yourself you’re able to show or adjust or fit theirs.”

You hum in response, as you process what he says.

“I was kind of a selfish kid and only thought of myself and Jimin’s kindness taught me to be more thoughtful,” Jungkook continues. “I was still pretty shy when I got to college but I let out my playful side with Tae that I didn’t really know was there. And Mo-eum was so smart that I tried to keep up with her and I realized I was pretty smart, too.”

You laugh at this, as you think about how different your friends are with him and with you.

“Jimin and I always butt heads and he calls me out because he knows no one will and I need someone to,” you state. “Tae is very soft with me because he knows I’m hard on myself all the time. And Mo-eum… ever since we were kids, she just always asked me about life in general, like what career she should pursue or how she should manage all that trauma from work and still have enough of herself to give.”

“Such contrast,” Jungkook laughs. “I think it’s because you and I are so different, too, but that’s the point, right? They’re not different people. They just have sides to them that fit with others more but that’s still them. And I know comparing platonic and romantic relationships is a bit simplistic but it’s kinda the same. You spend enough time with someone and get to know them, and I mean genuinely get to know them, and you’ll figure out which ones fit.”

“It happens naturally, yeah?”

“It should. But it requires baring yourself to the other person.”

“And that requires vulnerability, too, doesn’t it?” You ask, turning to him now.

“It does. It requires honesty, too.”

You look into Jungkook’s eyes and see the moon reflecting from them with how round and dark and captivating they are. You’d think that given your topic of conversation, this is the perfect time to just confess about how differently you’re feeling about him.

But there’s still something that pulls you back, and you suppose it’s this need to be sure - not of whatever he feels for you but of what you feel for him, and what you feel about you.

You don’t want to dive into this when you’re unsure of yourself. You don’t want to doubt if you’re able to truly be vulnerable to him. You don’t want to get into anything with him when you don’t know if you like this version of you now, because you know that what he deserves is someone who likes herself enough to treat him the way he should be treated. His exes have been insecure people who took him for granted, and you don’t want a reminder of them in you.

“And that requires trust,” you add.

“It does,” he smiles, knowing that both of you are just pulling from all your experiences of failed relationships and uncertainty.

He hopes that maybe just like him, you’re trying to get to that point where you trust him and yourself enough before seeing if what you both have could be something more.

Both of you spend a few more minutes just staring at the sky before deciding to head back inside. You help your remaining friends clean up, wash themselves, and then lie in bed.

You take your place next to Mo-eum, on the side that gives you a view of Jungkook as he sleeps on the floor. You ask him if he’s comfortable and warm enough for this chilly night and he responds with a nod.

You like this side of you that seeks him, not just because you need to be taken care of, but also because you want to take care of him, too. You think that for now, that should be enough.

Jungkook flinches in his sleep, catching himself by surprise this time and prompting him to wake up. He slowly opens his eyes, already used to the light coming in with how thin the curtains are but he doesn’t mind much, not when the first thing he sees in the morning is you - cuddled with the pillow, looking peaceful as your brain rests for a while.

It was a little thing he did, moving the mattress just a tiny bit during the first night, because he saw that the curtain slit would be right across his face and the sun would be unbearable. It ended up giving him a much better morning view.

He grunts as he sits up and starts cracking his back and stretching his limbs. He sees that Taehyung and Jimin are half awake and he nods at them. Mo-eum is already up as the early-riser of the group and of course there’s you, still steadily breathing and softly snoring.

It’s a slow morning and there’s no rush to do anything. Jungkook likes this about your recent trips, which is also why you’re all able to stay up late to drink and talk and do whatever people your age are still able to do until the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps his body has adjusted as well; regardless of what time he sleeps, he doesn’t need the entire next day to recuperate.

Mo-eum gets back to the room and sits next to him.

“How was last night?” She asks with a playful smile.

“I had to carry your drunk ass to the bed, and then Jimin’s,” Jungkook shakes his head.

Maybe not a lot has changed.

“___ helped you though.”

“Yeah well, we were the only ones still in our right minds,” he laughs.

“I was still lucid when I saw you walk out to look for her,” she smirks.

“Hey, I was just making sure that she was still on the property,” he defends. “Who knows if she followed some rabbit out there and fell into a hole or something.”

“You’re getting ridiculous with your reasons,” Mo-eum rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with her, you know?”

“I’m not denying that.”

“Good. Because I think she’s been liking that. She’s always got a lot in her mind and you help ease her a bit. Like, Jimin matches her energy, Tae comforts her, I hype her up and you…” she smiles. “You seem to do that and more. Like, you become what she needs at that time.”

“I’ve always tried to be there for her and it’s the same with her,” Jungkook shrugs, not wanting to reveal too much to your best friend. “I guess at this point it’s just become easier. And nicer. I’m happy I get to be what she needs.”

“Hmm. I’m sure she is, too.”

Mo-eum’s smile is comforting. Whatever you’ve told her or haven’t, her words are enough to assure him that he’s doing right by you. He’ll just continue and savor the moments you have together, like last night by the pool where you looked him in the eyes again and he’d been tempted to just lay his feelings out to you.

But he hesitated, wanting to make sure that you’re ready for what he has to say. He’s certain about what he feels now but he doesn’t want to just spring it on you in the middle of celebrations and farewells. He’s just been basking in seeing you slowly settle into him, and perhaps that’s part of the whole experience, as you like to say.

Mo-eum ruffles his hair before going back to bed, hugging you like a baby and asking if you’re hungry because she already is. Jungkook watches as you slowly get to your senses, look around, slightly sit up, then sleepily wave at him. It’s a bit random but he waves back and laughs.

It’s not long after when the rest of you finally get up and start fixing up. You stand in front of the sink outside the bathroom to brush your teeth and just like the day before, he stands behind you as he sees you stretch your neck.

“Does it hurt again?” He asks.

“No, but a massage would be nice,” you mumble with bubbles in your mouth.

He playfully shakes his head but proceeds to press his thumbs against the nape of your neck.

“Such a princess,” he laughs.

You close your eyes at the pleasure, feeling like you could fall back to sleep with this. He eventually stops, which is perhaps good because you would’ve choked with how much you were quietly moaning, but then he lightly drags his fingers down your back. His touch pierces through your shirt and your body shivers. You don’t see his face in the mirror, but you quickly rinse your mouth to mask your smile over how it felt.

“I’ll wash up,” he says as he heads inside the bathroom.

You yell out your thanks and exhale deeply, but then Mo-eum skips next to you and wiggles her eyebrows.

“So domestic,” she teases.

“Shush,” you pout at her. “Dude’s a master at teasing, who would’ve thought.”

You get dressed, too, and it’s not long after when you’re all on your way to a restaurant for your lunch of the famed spicy braised chicken. You take the passenger seat of the car that Jimin’s driving and watch Jungkook ride his motorcycle again, who fortunately put on some sunblock after you reminded him before leaving.

With Mo-eum at the back, you all laugh as Jungkook and Taehyung dance to some music at the stoplight, busting out moves that make them look ridiculous and adorable at the same time.

You arrive at the restaurant and there’s a long table reserved for your group. You see your friends make eye signals to each other to get you and Jungkook to sit side by side, and you wanna smack them but also thank them for doing the work for you. Even if you have been making an effort to get close to him, you don’t want to be too obvious.

Which is also why you spend those moments right after you take your seat talking to Hoseok, who makes you laugh so hard that you almost fall off your chair.

But of course, Jungkook is there to make sure that doesn’t happen, as he manages to hold onto your arm before your ass hits the floor.

“Yah, are you Jimin?!” He scolds you.

“Excuse me, I’m offended,” you gasp dramatically.

“Brat. You wish you were me,” Jimin bites back.

“I wish I had your ass,” you hum.

It’s pretty amazing. You’d give him that.

“But your ass is already nice!” Mo-eum chirps. “It’s very spankable.”

Your older friends laugh, already used to the unfiltered conversations of the young ones, and none of you really care about it. You glare at your best friend, though, because Jungkook definitely did not laugh.

The conversation shifts to something else and the food finally arrives. The mild spiced dish is closer to Taehyung, so you ask Jungkook to give you a serving in your bowl. He hands it back to you filled to the brim, and he reminds you to let it cool first so the heat level isn’t too extreme for you.

You look at the dish in front of you. It looks so delicious you might actually cry. Except for the vegetables.

“I don’t like carrots,” you pout, transferring the two large chunks from your bowl to his.

“You need to eat carrots, ___,” he says sternly. “They’re good for your eyesight. It helps you see warning signs that tell you to watch out for things that might hurt you.”

You stare at the piece that he puts on your bowl.

“Yeah, a small chunk will definitely help my eyes,” you sarcastically say.

“Then a big one, then,” he counters, putting back the one you just gave him. And then another. “And one more for both eyes.”

You’re back to where you started and you scowl at him.

“You’re so annoying.”

He responds with a smirk. A smirk! One that looks teasing more than anything.

“You could always just feed her,” Jimin suggests.

You glare at him.

“What?!” He mouths, and it hits you that this might be more obvious because this type of teasing is normal, but you’re being so sensitive about it.

“I’m not a baby,” you frown.

And just as you’re about to take a spoonful, your hair flies to your mouth, causing the sauce to stick to the strands and then on your face.

You groan in frustration, prompting laughter from your friends, but you reflexively turn to Jungkook with a pout.

“Say that again?” he chuckles, as he wets the napkin and wipes the sauce off your hair.

You wipe your face, too, while he pulls your hair back so you could tie it. He looks at you with a mix of teasing and endearment, yet something about it makes your heart race.

All you can do is laugh at how ridiculous you look and he laughs along because he probably thinks so, too. He watches you take your first bite to make sure it lands then he resumes with his own dish and reminds you to eat your carrots.

You actually do cry, as even the mild spicy version of the chicken is still a little too hot for you, but you can’t stop eating. The fried rice and ramyeon are so intense yet heavenly, and nothing’s ever hurt so good and satisfied you like this.

Jungkook ends up wiping out the rest of the food. The only reason why you stayed in the restaurant as long as you did was so he could finish eating, and you have to remind him of what you’ll be doing after, prompting him to pass up on the dessert he was about to order. You take some time to walk around the area so you can digest though, and it’s not long after when you’re back on the road.

Jimin had suggested going to Active Park so you could all compete against each other on wall climbing, with the losers doing penalties tonight. As you agreed on, everyone joins, even the ones who aren’t really into things like this. That doesn’t include Jungkook though, as he excitedly skips to the receiving area like he didn’t just stuff himself with food an hour ago.

But he loves these things and this is his playground. He likes being active and on the move - a contrast to you - and experiencing the thrill. He also happens to be really good at it.

You all get briefed and get proper shoes on. He scurries inside and already chooses his first activity where he walks up high poles then free falls to the ground. Then he climbs three walls consecutively and goes mission impossible mode when he rapells down. The others start playing and you let them go first, as you secretly enjoy watching them freak out and squeal while falling.

You eventually decide to psych yourself up by climbing up the poles so you call for one of the staff to repeat the instructions. Just then, Jungkook appears next to you - you swear you saw him competing with Taehyung just a second ago - and asks if you’re ready.

“Yes, and I’m not scared of heights,” you remind him. “I’m just clumsy.”

“Please make sure you land properly. And don’t mistakenly unhook your cord.”

“I won’t,” you roll your eyes at him.

But you do call for him to look at you when you’re at the top and then ask for his praise when you get back on your feet safely.

He laughs at how excited you are and encourages you to try more. You tell him to just enjoy and do everything he wants and that you’ll be fine so he goes, competes with almost everyone, and wins it all. You follow your own pace and lose a few match-ups, but it’s loud and intense the whole time that you’re torn between trying things out for yourself and watching your friends do it.

Half of you get tired right away and choose to sit around to watch the more energetic ones as they keep going. You all cheer for Taehyung on the circular slide. You all encourage Suhyeon in the spiderman climb. And when Jimin hits his lip on the sandbag during the jump, you gather around him to ask if he’s okay.

“It’s just a cut,” he shrugs.

“Nope, you gotta ice it,” you say. “Mo-eum’s already getting one.”

“Listen to ___. She’s good at treating busted lips,” Jungkook hums.

“Of course you’d know,” Jimin smirks at him.

“We are not talking about that night,” you frown as you press the cloth-covered ice cube on your best friend’s wound.

“Why are you the one triggered when it’s Jungkook’s who got elbowed?” Yoongi asks you.

“Because she got so angry and even attempted to run after the guy who hurt Kook,” Mo-eum informs them. “You know ___ when she’s angry. It ain’t good.”

They rehash that night and you kind of block it out, not wanting to remember what those intense feelings were like. But then again, maybe that’s when this whole Jungkook thing started so maybe it isn’t all that bad.

Jungkook finally decides that he’s done and sits next to you on one of the chairs. You hand him a bottle of water and ask him if he's satisfied.

“Yup,” he heaves. “Hands are just a bit tired but they’re fine. And oh, my busted lip has healed.”

You snicker and look away.

“I don’t know if I ever properly thanked you for that night, ___,” he says. “So, uh, thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever forget all the times that you stood up for me.”

“Technically, it was just one time. It would’ve been more if people weren’t stopping me,” you laugh.

“Well, there’s a reason for that, you know?” He nudges your knee. “You can actually get in trouble or get hurt. I… I don't really know how I’d be able to handle that. So don’t get yourself hurt, okay?”

“Is that why you were tailing me this whole time? You were scared I’d hurt myself?” You cock an eyebrow.

“___, you hurt yourself in your own house. Because of your couch. This place is filled with hazards.”

“Oh shush,” you laugh now. “Well, nothing happened to me. I think I’m improving.”

“No injuries today so you might just be,” he winks.

“You’d still look out for me, though?” you turn to him.

“Always,” he smiles.

You head outdoors after a bit of rest to go-kart. Just when you thought that most of you have drained all your energy from wall climbing, it turns out that driving can actually restore it, as all of you quickly choose your karts and start riding around the track. With the breeze pushing you and the fluffy clouds against the blue sky as your background, it’s actually very relaxing.

You go only a few laps. Hoseok, Seokjin, Jimin, and Taehyung race five rounds because someone is always complaining or cheating. Jungkook skids like he’s on Fast and the Furious, and Suhyeon and Hayoung are just happily going about in their lanes.

There’s that feeling of calmness when you all take your seats on the benches in the adjacent playground with your iced drinks in hand. You laugh at Namjoon constantly being stuck in the track because he was confused over which foot had to press what, and then Yoongi bumping him because he couldn’t stop earlier. You’re laughing about last night, too, and just everything that’s been happening on this trip.

As always, Jimin and Taehyung play with the horse rockers, then Jungkook joins them when they spin in the merry-go-round. Mo-eum goes with you when you scurry to the big slide. You run up the steps, squealing as you do, and then trip on one of them.

Mo-eum goes to your rescue and tries to hold in her laugh. But the thump and her constant chuckling gets your friends’ attention and as you look up, you see Jungkook incredulously looking at you.

“So… about me not having injuries today, I think you jinxed it,” you smile sweetly at him.

In Jungkook fashion, he laughs, helps you up, then puts a band-aid over the scraped skin on your shin.

He might not always be next to you, but he’ll be there whenever you need him. You think that perfectly describes these last few months of getting closer to him. You hope it’ll be like that from here on out.

Watching the sky turn dark from the property’s outdoor area is quite magical, as you’re learning now. You’d just woken up from a long nap after arriving home and you’re now on the hammock, with your hands behind your head, taking in how stunning the view is. You’re next to Mo-eum who’s doing the same, and the others have taken their spots in different areas, too.

Not long after, you put on a dress and head to a restaurant for an omakase dinner. It’s another one of those spoils from Seokjin and Hayoung and you pretty much thank them after praising the chef with every dish.

The ingredients are so fresh and they’ve been prepared so delicately. Taehyung dramatically walks around in awe and Jungkook jumps on his seat all night with how much he’s enjoying the food. It’s hard not to laugh when watching everyone react, and that includes you. You’re just as expressive as everyone is, including Yoongi and Gyu-rim who often just say the simplest things when describing their appreciation for food.

Hoseok buys a fancy bottle of sake to take home where you all finish it, alongside the other drinks you bought on the way back.

It’s a beautiful evening but you suppose that everyone’s just spent from everything you’d done today, as you all just take a seat around the fire pit and talk. The penalties will have to be be done tomorrow, you all agree.

You fall asleep on Hayoung’s shoulder in the midst of the tired laughter and end up lying on her lap. Your lower body spills over to Jimin’s lap as well, and he just chuckles and says that the princess is tired.

“Want me to help you get ready for bed?” Your cousin whispers in your ear.

You’re still a bit aware of your surroundings and could hear what she says, and you tell her it’s fine and that they should all stay while you take a nap. But you don’t know how long you’re asleep for until you feel yourself being pulled up.

“Let’s go, I’ll help you wash up,” Mo-eum says to you.

You let her guide you up until you’re lying in bed in your pajamas, ready to fall into deep sleep.

Jungkook sits on the edge of the bed right next to yours. Taehyung is on the floor mattress this time after lying on it to have a feel and then falling asleep right away, so Jungkook gets to have a different view of you this time.

He chuckles as he watches your breathing deepen and then steady. You must really be tired after all those activities and the amazing dinner and he wouldn’t be surprised as he’s exhausted, too.

But it felt nice spending the day like this, even if he wasn’t next to you all the time. He’d been too excited with the wall climbing but he always made sure to watch you whenever you did it. He was having so much fun during go-karting but he always looked for you on the track and smiled at you whenever he passed you by after you stopped driving.

Even during dinner, you were sandwiched between Hayoung and Namjoon so Jungkook just glanced at you to see how you found the food because he was losing his mind. And then after you all got home, he just softly watched you slowly fall asleep. You looked so cozy though, like he just wanted to hug you until he fell asleep, too, just like now, as you finally turn towards your side facing him.

You’re hugging a pillow and Jungkook laughs to himself at how much he wished that was him. It must feel nice, he thinks, to have you that close. Maybe you’d talk until someone knocks out mid-sentence like what happened in Sapporo. Maybe you’d laugh until you get tired. Maybe you could do more, just like the home he wants to cuddle in.

He shakes his head at the thoughts in his mind. He’s thinking too much and definitely too far ahead. He has that hope that you might feel the same way. After all, he’s seen you space out while looking at him, whether up close or from afar, and he knows that means your mind has travelled to so many places. He could only hope your thoughts were about him, perhaps about settling into your feelings, whatever those are.

But he’s quite a patient man when it comes to things he really, really wants. He’s holding out hope that somehow, you’re thinking and figuring things out yourself, and as long as you are, he’ll just admire you and enjoy what he gets to share with you as much as he can.

The morning comes longer than you expected, and that tells you that you probably had a really good sleep. You remember seeing the blaze from the fire pit and dozing off, then briefly washing up before crashing out again.

But the light is blaring through the blinds now and you let out a yawn. You stretch your arms and look around to find yourself alone in the room, and you check your phone to see what time it is and what everyone else is up to. It’s 9 AM and it seems that there’s takeaway breakfast downstairs.

Just then, you hear Mo-eum calling for you as she climbs up the stairs.

“Hey, you’re up!” She chirps. “You didn’t wake up even with the guys’ early alarm, huh?”

“Nope, I was passed out. But I slept so well,” you mumble. “Where’d they go?”

“To the other side of the island. Tae and Kook wanted to ride their bikes then decided to buy breakfast for everyone so they called Jimin to pick up the food,” she laughs. “Let’s go eat!”

You nod and wash up before heading downstairs with her. People have gathered at the kitchen while some are already outside, enjoying the sun and the cool morning breeze. There’s an array of breakfast wraps and sandwiches and sweet and savory pastries that it’s hard to choose. But you pick up a few and look around to try your friends’ choices, knowing they’ll let you.

You get a bite from Mo-eum and Hayoung then Jimin, then you see Jungkook going back inside to get another serving. He chooses the bacon bun and you think he sees your eyes light up, because he’s walking towards you and offering you a bite.

“Hmm, that’s good,” you smile satisfyingly.

“It is, right?” he smiles. “Is the wrap okay?”

“Yup. It’s very filling.”

“Nice. I thought you’d like that,” he hums. “Did you see the iced black sesame drink I got you?” He asks as he grabs a cup from the bag. “I told them to tell you it’s here. I thought you’d like it. But there’s hot coffee and uh, my barely touched iced americano if you want.”

“This sounds like my kind of drink,” you smile at him now, taking what he got you.

It’s delicious and you tell him so. You walk out towards the lounge chair by the pool where he follows and you ask him about where they went to earlier.

“There’s this stretch of the ocean where you can see some dolphins and Tae wanted to check them out,” Jungkook says. “So we took our bikes there around 7 and just drove around the town. He was chatting with the locals and they told us what other areas to check out. Then we got some breakfast and called Jimin.”

“Oh, that sounded fun! Where did they say to go?”

“The lesser known parks that also have the cherry blossoms in full bloom, this hill with wildflowers, a pier that has a nice view of the ocean,” he shares. “They said where we watched the dolphins is a good spot to watch the sunrise and we should go back but I said we leave tomorrow so probably the next trip.”

“We leave in the afternoon though,” you remind him. “That actually sounds nice.”

“Do you… want to ride and catch the sunrise in the morning?” he asks, testing the waters. “We could still take the car but the bike is just a different experience. It’ll be cold but they swore by it and said the fishermen love that area because of how pretty it is.”

“You’ll make sure I’ll be safe right?” You nervously ask, as the thought of riding a motorcycle with him is both a thrilling and terrifying thought for completely different reasons. “I mean, you know how dramatic I am with a stubbed toe. Imagine me injured, so I’m sure you’ll make sure that won’t happen.”

“Definitely not letting that happen,” he chuckles.

“Good! Wake me up, okay! And should, uh, should we invite the others?”

It’s a courtesy question, you think, even if you’re unsure you’re ready to be alone with him to do something that you think is quite intimate - not only in riding his bike with him but also watching something beautiful together.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook hums.

It won’t hurt, you convince yourself, even if you hope deep down that no one will take the offer.

[to: My Elders] Kook and I are riding his bike to this spot to watch the sunrise. Anyone want to join?

It’s barely 10 seconds in when Jimin replies.

[from: jiminie pabo] nope. and i speak for everyone.

You know what he’s doing so you quickly turn to where he is by the hammock and try to glare at him but he only smiles and gives a not-so-subtle thumbs up sign. You could only hope he didn’t say anything to anyone about what you feel and that this potential alone time with Jungkook is something that you’d want to have.

[to: My Elders] K then. Just tell us if you change your mind.

You turn to Jungkook. “They said they don’t want to. Well, Jimin did but he probably asked them. Are you still good?”

“Of course,” he smiles. “I’ll wake you up early then and we could get back here and still have time for a nap before we head out.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, hoping that the constant smiling isn’t giving you away too much, given that you’ve been doing that to him all trip. “Can’t wait.”

You talk a bit more about the sights he saw until your food and drinks have finished. You’re heading back to the kitchen for water when Taehyung suggests swimming in the pool before going for a ride around some areas of the island, just like what the locals had said.

Everyone agrees, except for Yoongi, and you all change into your swimsuits and take advantage of the nice weather.

You think at this point that you’re already immune to Jungkook’s bare body. You’ve seen it so many times before this trip and even just these past days, even if you technically zoned out in admiration this time.

As the universe would have it, you are actually not immune, especially when you head out to the pool and find him on his hands and knees, trying to balance himself on the watermelon floatie, with all his muscles working full-time to keep himself from falling into the water.

Your stupid mind conjures up images that you definitely should not be thinking about, and you turn away in time before he catches you staring at him again.

Mo-eum walks over to you and you both walk towards the pool to have a dip. But of course, Jimin and Taehyung cannonball into the water and start playing like the children that they are. They play with the water guns, too, and with Jungkook and their recruit, Hoseok, they run around the house and try to shoot each other as if they aren’t already wet.

The rest of you adults just chill around, content enough with the cool water and the fact that the sun doesn’t seem too much yet. It’s when the boys return that Seokjin reminds everyone of the penalties from yesterday’s game and suggests playing more games until there’s only one person left to receive the punishment. There's a handstand race, which Hoseok loses, and then there’s the chicken fight, which is a three-way match between you, Gyu-rim, and Suhyeon.

Jimin says that the men with the sturdiest shoulders should be the other half of the pairs, and with Suhyeon being paired with Namjoon and Gyu-rim calling dibs on Taehyung, that’s how you end up with Jungkook as your partner.

You try your best to not look affected even if you’re freaking out inside. You ask Jungkook instead if he’s ready to win and save your ass from drinking Seokjin’s terrible concoction.

He chuckles and says that he trained his whole life to always win at chicken fights and that he has amazing grip. While you should’ve taken that lightly, your mind goes somewhere again that you have to pinch your cheeks as a reminder to get away from that place and instead focus.

He asks if you’re ready then assists you in getting on his shoulders and he’s right, his grip on your thighs is pretty good and you just know he’s gonna be holding you steady all throughout. You practice some moves and he advises you on what to do.

“Will you hate me if I pull your hair,” you ask.

“Nope. I will if you fart, though.”

“I’ll try. Let’s hope I don’t get too excited,” you tease.

“Yah!” he exclaims, threatening to drop you in the water.

You hold onto his cheeks for support and you laugh and say he’s being dramatic.

When Seokjin calls for the start of the match, you and Jungkook get your game faces on. He told you earlier to be aggressive so that’s what you do, and he expertly maneuvers his body so you can have the right angle for a good hit. You pull his hair only a little, but he doesn’t mind, especially when Suhyeon falls first, and then Gyu-rim follows right after.

You celebrate your win with cheering and tender taps on Jungkook’s cheeks. He slowly drops you and you reflexively hug each other in joy. You feel the tingles at being so close to him, especially with your skin being in contact with his, and then your hands brushing against each other and lingering under the water.

You sit next to each other on the pool ledge as you watch the two other women play rock-paper-scissors, with Gyu-rim losing and facing Hoseok for a palm push match while standing on a floatie.

It ends up being so intense. Hoseok has crazy core strength and can balance well but Gyu-rim is playing aggressively. It’s especially funny when Yoongi gets so into the match and keeps yelling out instructions for her to follow, even going as far as taunting Hoseok, causing him to laugh and eventually lose.

Everyone explodes in laughter at the series of events. It has truly woken all of you up and you feel energized. You stay in the pool for a few more minutes before getting changed, ready for a drive around the island.

Mo-eum is on the wheel this time while you make yourself comfortable next to her. You all watch Jungkook and Taehyung enjoy themselves again on their bikes as they guide you and the other cars to a quieter part of town.

You find a stunning waterfall and then go to the hill with wildflowers, which also has a nice view of the mountains. You buy some rice cakes from a store then get some iced drinks from a cafe before heading to a park to look at all the springtime flowers in full bloom.

Much as you want to just stay next to Jungkook whenever you hang around a new place, you find yourself enjoying watching him just be. Whether he’s looking around and enjoying the view or being rowdy and playful with your friends, you’re captivated by what he does and how he is, which is totally new to you.

“Even you weren’t that endeared with your exes,” Mo-eum points out when you’re back in the car to head to a beach. “I mean, I guess I get it. They weren’t exactly charming people, no offense.”

You look at her in question, wondering what made her say it.

“You were looking at Kook with sparkly eyes,” she shrugs. “Just thought you should know in case you didn’t know.”

“I—” you stutter, clearly unaware.

“It’s fine, dude. It’s just us,” Jimin chuckles. “It’s how it is when you like someone, you know?”

“Was I not like this with my exes?” You ask them.

“Hmm, not really. You were ecstatic at the start, obviously,” Mo-eum says. “But I don’t recall you being this… soft. It might come with age, who knows? You’re probably exhausted from feeling so intensely all the time.”

You let her words settle as it turns quiet in the car, save for the blowing of the wind through the open windows. It must be tiring to experience such strong feelings all the time; you suppose that’s why you never really got to pay attention to them.

With Jungkook, you’ve been having these feelings for a few weeks now, and they’ve been ruminating, like you’re settling into them as you try to make sense of how this could happen. You suppose in your constant questioning or even disbelief, it’s allowed you to take things slow. With this trip and being around him as much as you are, you’re gradually getting used to feeling this way while not throwing yourself completely into it right away. You’re also getting used to you being like this.

You suppose that’s made you take notice of everything else about him. It’s also what’s making you look at him more softly, as if you’re getting to know him from afar.

Your thoughts are suspended for a while when you arrive at a quiet beach. It’s the perfect spot for a swim and you watch your friends put on their sunblocks and rush to the water. You’re surprised at how much energy all of you still have but it’s probably the most free you’ve all felt in a long time.

You sit on the beach towel that’s been set on the ground. You’re watching them play around while putting on your sunscreen when you hear Jungkook call your name before sitting down next to you.

“Hey,” you say. “Why aren’t you there with them yet?”

“Tae and Jimin made me put on their sunscreens then ran to the water,” he pouts. “Do I still have some on my face?”

You look at him when he turns to face you. You spread the bit that’s on his nose and chin then tell him he’s all good. He puts on his arms and you have to turn away and act unaffected when he spreads the lotion on his chest and torso. He turns to you again with his bunny-like smile and asks if you could put on his back.

“Sure,” you smile.

You do it as calmly as you can, forcing thoughts out of your mind because while this isn’t the first time you’ve done this, it’s the first time that you’re desiring him.

He asks if you’ll swim, too, and you instinctively nod so he offers to put some on your back. You nod again, not at all ready for his palms to press against your skin like this.

Of all times to wear a two-piece suit, it really had to be now and you think that you could’ve stuck to what you wore this morning. You remove your cover up dress and turn around, hoping that he won’t feel the shiver on your skin once he touches you.

But you feel it, not because the lotion is cold but because his hand is rough and gentle at the same time. He’s quiet, too, so you don’t know what’s going on in his mind and you suddenly feel tense, especially when he moves down to your waist and you jerk in surprise.

But he doesn’t say anything until he’s finished. You mumble your thanks and he faces the water once you start spreading the lotion on your arms and legs.

Mo-eum yells for both of you to come so Jungkook stands up and offers his hand for you to take, which you do. Your fingers brush against each other again and you can’t help the small smile that forms on your face, until you find out that there are pebbles that line the shore which you have to cross to get to the water and you express your dismay.

“It’s just like acupuncture on your feet,” Jungkook explains.

“I don’t like them. They hurt,” you pout.

“Come on. It’s not that bad,” he says.

You still look unsure so he offers his hand again and you take it, letting him ease the pressure on your feet as you walk over. You make it, and you sigh in relief once you’re submerged in the cool water.

Your friends join you and you all just soak in the feeling of being here and wave at the others who opted to stay on the shore.

When you all collectively start getting dehydrated, you decide to head back. You groan when you reach the pebbled part of the shore again and Jungkook chuckles next to you.

“Do you want to ride on my back? Do you want me to throw you to the other side or build you a bridge?” He teases.

The piggyback ride is definitely tempting but you opt for something else.

“Hold my hand again?” You ask.

He softly smiles and offers his and you gladly take it. You almost don’t want to let go but you do, hoping for another chance to do it again.

You all lay on the towels to dry up a bit before heading back on the road for a last drive to a pier before heading to a restaurant for some black pork belly for dinner.

You sit next to Jungkook, given the realization that it’s your last night and tomorrow’s your last day. When you get back to Seoul, it’s back to the daily grind and your usual schedule. You want to see him again. In fact, you want to see him more.

You could reason that you’re just doing what you’ve been doing these past months if you ask him to hang out or go with you to buy something or watch a movie in your apartment. Or you could just be honest with him and tell him how you feel, perhaps see if he feels the same way and figure out where you go from here.

The thought makes you giggle and butterflies explode in your belly thinking that he might like you, too. You don’t want to assume. It could be that he’s always been this attentive or affectionate to you and you never really paid attention because maybe, he stayed the same and you’re the one that changed.

It’s also possible that alongside you, he also changed. Or you may also just be reading too much into it and you’re completely off the mark and it may be the worst thing in the world but then maybe it isn’t. Not having him around you in any way is definitely much worse and that thought makes your heart skip a beat for all the wrong reasons.

You don’t want to think of a life where he isn’t around, same as you can’t imagine the last 10 years without him. Would trying to have something more put all that in jeopardy?

But you’ve always been a risk-taker. You’ve been rejected before but you got over it and you never regretted going for something you want for fear of what you’ll lose.

Then again, Jungkook is different; he’s your friend. Losing him because he doesn’t feel the same way would be terrible for you.

But who’s to say you’ll lose him even if he doesn’t like you back? You’ll make sure you won’t and—

“Yah,” he nudges your knee. “Can your wandering mind get its ass back here? We’ve got dinner to eat. I’m cooking this pork perfectly so you better be present for it.”

You turn to him who’s teasingly laughing at you and you shake your head, knowing he’d seen your face probably express all the different thoughts and emotions you just experienced all in one minute.

“Okay, better get going and cook it to perfection then,” you say smugly.

Jungkook shows off when he’s challenged and that’s what he does. He gives a commentary of how he’s grilling the pork and even does tricks of opening the soju and beer bottles to the delight of everyone. But he’s right to boast because the meat does taste amazing. He’s rendered the fat well and it’s so juicy, everyone moans through dinner.

You all stay in the restaurant a while to make sure everyone’s sobered up before heading back to the house where you watch an outdoor movie - a sci-fi horror film that Mo-eum insisted on because she thinks she’ll be less scared with more people around.

She wasn’t right about that and you fared much better with Jungkook next to you, mostly because you were actually nervous to do something silly, like snuggle with him or hold his hand. You screamed only in one part and managed to cover your mouth in time. He teasingly laughed at you though and said he wasn’t going anywhere even if you screamed again.

There’s dancing and singing right after to get over what you just watched. There’s also definitely more alcohol. But you hold off a little, knowing you have that sunrise ride in the morning with Jungkook, which you’re really doing alone with him because everybody else passed up on it.

You see him drink less, too, and you look at each other after rejecting Namjoon’s drink offers and know you’re thinking the same.

The night still ends right before midnight though, and once you’re settled on your side of the bed and Jungkook is tucked under the covers on his, he asks you again about tomorrow.

“You sure you’re ready to wake up and brave the cold?”

“Yes. You’ll make sure I will,” you laugh.

“Okay then. See you in the morning.”

Waking you up before 5 AM isn’t as bad as Jungkook expected. You open your eyes after the fifth tap and raise your arms for him to pull so you could get off the bed. You trip on the floor mattress but thankfully don’t wake Taehyung up nor stub your toe so that’s a success in Jungkook’s books.

You insist on washing up downstairs so you don’t wake your friends up and he has to guide you down the steps because you’re still half asleep. You do your business then wait for him to do his.

You jerk in surprise when he exits the bathroom in just his joggers, and you grumbly ask him why he’s always naked. When he laughs at your question, you ask him why he’s laughing, and he just waves this off as you, speaking your mind like always.

You ask for his jacket though, since the thickest one you have is still wet and he’s got one he could lend you so he wears the thinner one so you’d feel warmer.

There are a dozen things that could’ve gone wrong with just getting you out of the door but they didn’t happen so yes, this isn't as bad as Jungkook had imagined.

You make your way to his motorcycle and he faces you to put on your helmet.

“Don’t be scared, okay? Tell me if you are then I’ll slow down,” he instructs. “But just hold tight. You know I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Okay,” you smile softly.

He gets on the bike and you follow his instructions for getting behind him. You wear the backpack with the hot drinks inside then you wrap your arms around his waist as security.

You quickly settle in and loosen your hold around him just a little. It’s still dark everywhere so there’s not much to see so you just focus on how he feels in front of you, liking the warmth he emits and the stability he provides as he carefully drives around.

It’s not a long drive but you suppose that’s fine. You get to the viewing spot and quickly see the start of the sun’s ascent.

“Not bad, right?” He gestures to his bike. “It rides pretty smooth and it’s not too loud.”

“It was fine,” you assure him. “I didn’t feel like I was gonna fall off or anything.”

He smiles in response and helps you sit on the ledge of a wall that gives a good view of the ocean. With cups of hot tea in hand, you sit in silence as the sky starts to lighten, as if you’re witnessing the changing of the guards and it’s now the sun’s turn to watch over earth.

It’s breathtaking and you think of all the times you’d taken the sunrise for granted. It’s slow but it’s constant. It may look different, depending on where you’re watching it from, but it still happens everyday and you either go through your day without thinking about it or you stop and look at the sun and think that it did its best in showing up today.

That’s how it is with things you’ve gotten used to sometimes - you stop paying attention, and perhaps that’s when you miss out on important things.

You recall the sunrise during your hike a few months ago when Jungkook stayed back to make sure you made it to the top. You don’t even know where he was when you all sat down by the rocks to watch and perhaps that says a lot with how you looked at him then. Because you’re here alone with him now, and you already know this moment will last with you for a long time.

Maybe your friendship is like the sunrise. It will always be there, but you could watch it on top of a mountain or by the ocean or along Hangang River and the view changes. You know you changed, and now that you’ve paid attention, you want to know if this friendship could change into something more, too.

“Now that’s satisfying,” Jungkook hums as the sun settles above the water now.

“Thanks for telling me about this place and bringing me here, Kook,” you turn to face him. “It’s uh, it’s something I’ll always remember.”

“Yeah. Me, too,” he responds.

You don’t know if it’s the sincerity in his eyes or it’s just you being caught up in the moment, but you glance at his lips and think for a millisecond that crashing yours against his is a good idea.

His phone alarm ringing fortunately knocks some sense into you and you turn away in time for you to not do anything abrupt and maybe unwelcome. He remarks that he forgot to set it off for this time and you nod, internally thankful that he did.

It’s at that moment when you hear sounds from the water and see that dolphins have come to swim on this part of the ocean. You’re so surprised and excited that you reflexively hold his hand but he doesn’t seem put off and he lets it stay there.

You don’t mind at this point. All you know is that it feels right and you want to feel it again.

The moment ends and you look at each other in awe at being able to experience something so wholesome and beautiful together. You suppose it’s too much for words, as you get back on the bike and ride around town with not many words.

It’s a longer trip this time, as he says that he’ll take the other route so there’s more of the town to see, and you don’t mind at all. You’d like to hold him like this as long as possible.

You make it back to the house and take a nap until everyone else wakes up. You pack your bags and load them in the trunk before you head out for some stir fried pork lunch. Jungkook and Taehyung follow after returning their bikes and you watch Jungkook from afar, beefing with Jimin about the sausage and then finishing more portions than he said he’d have.

You drive to the airport and don’t wait long before you board the plane. You sit next to Jungkook again and you lean on each other just like the flight coming here. But you suppose something’s really changed now, as you comfortably snuggle closer and think that you want to keep doing this, maybe hold hands, too. Perhaps share a kiss?

It’s all too much and probably too soon but you’ll care about all that later on. You want to bask in the possibilities first; the thoughts of consequences will come soon after you separate from him.

And it does, after you hang out at Jungkook’s place with Taehyung, Jimin, and Mo-eum and then he drops you off at yours.

“So, Tae invited himself and you guys to my apartment on Saturday,” you say when you open your door and he rolls your luggage inside your home. “You’ll be there, right?”

“Of course,” he smiles.

“I’ll return your hoodie all fresh and washed then!”

“No problem. You take care, yeah? Hopefully the trip gave you a bit of energy for the week.”

“It did. It gave me a lot actually. You, too,” you smile back.

“Same,” he nods. “I’ll head out and see you, yeah?”

“Good night, Kook!” You yell out.

“Good night!”

You lie on your couch once you close the door and take in his scent on his hoodie that you don’t want to remove just yet. You already can’t wait to see him again. You also know you’re gonna have to find a way to deal with all this and you’ll have to do it without losing him in the process.

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astraljedi · 3 days ago

Text

I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore (Frank Castle Imagine)

Request: Did you watch DDBA season finale? I need a scene where reader arrives in the car with Karen after Matt and Frank jump from the apartment. Maybe since Matt calls shotgun, reader sits in the back with Frank and the last time they saw each other they hooked up

Pairing: Frank Castle x Female Reader

Warnings: Mention of blood, open wounds, cursing, smutty flashback scenes, this does not have a happy ending (sorry)

Word Count: 4.3K

Song: You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift

a/n: I started writing this and suddenly my direction for it change completely, oops. This is loosely based on DDBA Episode 9, but I ended up changing the ending (because this is fanfiction and I can).

- I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army Frontlines, don't you ignore me

Courtesy of the city-wide blackout, darkness swallows up my quiet apartment. I fumble through my storage closet, the weak flashlight from my phone barely illuminating anything as I try to find the battery-powered candles I know I stashed somewhere.

“Fuck this,” I groan, dropping to the cold floor with a thud, my back hitting the hallway wall. Just as I start contemplating whether I could survive the night in complete darkness, my phone vibrates. “Karen” flashes across the screen.

I bring the phone up to my ear. “Hi, gorgeous,” I answer.

“Are you home? I’m on my way to pick you up,” Karen says quickly. I hear her curse, followed by a sharp blast of her car horn. I wince and pull the phone away from my ear.

“Yea—”

“It’s urgent. I’m four minutes away,” she cuts in. “It’s Matt. He needs us.”

The second she says his name, I’m on my feet. I grab my things and dash out of the apartment, I place the call on speaker and use my flashlight to guide myself down the flight of stairs

“Two minutes,” Karen says through the call, keeping me posted.

“I’m outside,” Out of breath I step onto the chaotic street. Helicopters roar over the city, car horns blare from every direction. I hear people screaming, smashing car windows and I beg for Karen to pull up soon before the chaos reaches me.

Karen pulls up fast and hard, tires screeching seconds later and I sprint to the passenger side, barely managing to close the door before she slams her foot on the gas.

“Where is he?” I ask, panic clear in my voice.

“His apartment.”

“What? I thought he was in the hospital.” I glance at her, my gut twisting. The blackout’s only made the streets worse, but we’re not far.

“I’ll explain later.” Karen’s eyes are fixed on the road, but I can tell she’s hiding something. She’s fighting her hardest to keep her lips sealed, her brows furrowing together.

I narrow my eyes. “Don’t look at me like that,” she adds.

“Just spit it out, Karen.” I demand.

“It’s also Frank,” she sighs, not able to keep it in for long.

My stomach drops. I stare at her, not saying a word.

Frank.

I haven’t seen him since the night we were tangled in my bed sheets. Our never ending cycle fueling the tiny spark that was left.

I thought I’d finally tamed the spark, but Frank Castle doesn’t let you put out the flames. He is the fire. The oxygen. The thing that keeps it alive, even when he doesn't even try.

He will alway try to push me away but the flame always remains.

Frank is the man who picks up the broken pieces of my heart. He builds it up, structures the pieces perfectly for him to smash it back to pieces like a sandcastle he worked so hard on building. He always leaves, and I’m always the one left behind, stupidly clutching to his empty words and promises.

“What?” I whisper, leaning my head against the headrest, my chest already pounding. Just hearing his name sets everything inside me on fire.

Karen parts her lips like she wants to say more, but an explosion goes off—loud and nearby. I grab her free hand, our minds in sync.

Please let them be okay, I beg—whether to God or the universe, I don’t know.

We turn the corner and spot Matt and Frank in the street. Karen and I both sigh, out of relief at the sight of them. I exhale shakily as Karen and I step out of the car. I crunch down on shattered glass, our eyes rising to Matt’s apartment in flames.

“Get in,” Karen orders, her voice calm but I know the adrenaline is rushing through her body. Just like mine.

“Shotgun,” Matt mutters, wincing as he holds his side.

I walk up to Matt, letting him lean on me. I don’t acknowledge Frank at first, my eyes stay fixed on the floor while walking to the car. I guide Matt into the passenger seat, the blood from his injuries smudging my fingers. When I turn around, Frank’s already holding the back door open, waiting for me.

He doesn’t say anything, his lips tightly shut. I glance up at him and I regret instantly. His dark unreadable eyes tracking every move.

I slide in without a word, pressing myself against the opposite side of the car. He gets in after me, knees spread, taking up space like he always does. His knee brushes mine, and I pretend not to notice—even when Karen hits a pothole and the jolt makes our skin connect again. That same electricity sparks and settles beneath my skin.

The silence is loud. The chaos of the city seeps in through the windows—sirens, shouting, the distant rumble of helicopters.

I keep my gaze on the window, but I can feel his eyes still on me. I sit stiffly, forcing slow breaths through my nose, trying to calm the tremble in my hands. I place them gently on my thighs, hoping that they stop before I make a fool out of myself.

But my heart resists to calm down, each beat slamming relentlessly against my chest like it's about to jump out.

Frank’s safehouse is a mess—guns on the table, loose bullets in trays, knives stacked beside open boxes, and God knows how many other weapons scattered everywhere. The scent of him hits me the moment I step in—smoke and leather. A scent I’ve spent time scrubbing off me and my apartment.

Matt and Karen sit on the other side of the room, sitting on some foldable chairs while she focuses on cleaning the wound on Matt’s chest gently.

Across from them, Frank rips a suture kit open with his teeth and pulls the neck of his shirt to study the open wound.

“Let me help,” I say quietly, my voice softer than before—calmer, somehow. Maybe because I’m too exhausted to keep up with our game.

Or maybe because looking at him bloody and bruised—pulls all the fight out of me.

He doesn’t hesitate, he leans back on the chair and hands me the already-threaded needle. At this point in our relationship—if we can even call it that—he trusts me enough to stitch him up.

This is something I’ve done for years now, always looking after him. Countless late nights of him limping into my apartment bleeding. Only for me to panic and lecture him while guiding him to the couch.

“That’s it,” he says, watching me patch the torn-up skin on his hip. My eyes are wide, focused, like I’m trying to memorize how to breathe through it. “You’re a natural, sweetheart.”

His praise settles something wild in my chest. I try to breathe steady, but my hands are trembling.

When I finish the last stitch, I finally let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. His hand moves to my face, fingers warm against my skin as he cups my cheek. His thumb brushes over my jaw, softly.

“Next time, you’re gonna be a pro,” he murmurs, then leans in and presses a kiss—gentle, lingering—on the corner of my mouth.

I chuckle, shaking my head like I’m not spiraling on the inside. “Don’t make it a habit.”

A sharp groan from Frank snaps me back. I press the cloth against his injury—harder than I need to but I don’t apologize.

Frank Castle can feel pain after all.

My eyes stay glued to the wound, watching the thread slip through the torn skin.

But I don’t look at him, I remind myself that this is still the man who left before dawn. No explanation with no goodbye. Too cowardly to call it off for once and for all for both our sakes.

From across the room, I hear Karen’s voice, low and comforting as she murmurs to Matt. The sound of the needle moving through Frank’s skin mixes with the buzz of a police radio filling the silence.

Then Matt’s voice cuts in. “You called Frank, huh?”

Karen hesitates. “I heard Poindexter escaped. Called Frank and hopped on a plane.”

“What about her?” Matt adds.

My hand stills for a second, eyes flicking toward them. They don’t notice, but Frank shifts beside me. He’s listening, too.

Karen mumbles something I can’t make out—but Frank hears it, his body stiffening from her answer.

I tie the final knot with more force than necessary and pull the last stitch tight. Frank winces, his hand shooting out to grab my arm on reflex. I hold the cloth to his skin one last time and then set the needle and thread down on the table. It’s his mess to clean up.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Frank says, voice low and rough.

Karen looks over. “Everything okay over there?”

Frank sighs. “Never been better.” He gets up, brushing past me—his knuckles graze my thigh longing for something he won’t let himself indulge in.

I bite the inside of my cheek hard, chewing my words down.

He moves to the small kitchen, grabs a pill bottle and crunches a few of them in his mouth. “Who wants a cup of coffee?”

“Got any oat milk?” Matt stands up, already half-dressed in his suit.

Frank chuckles and hands us a cup of black coffee—no milk, no sugar. Bitter and hot.

I take a sip and move to stand next to Karen.

“So… he went after Matt Murdock. Not Daredevil,” she says finally. “That’s bold. Even for Fisk.”

Matt hesitates. “Listen to me. Turns out it was a hit…” He swallows hard. “On Foggy.”

“Holy shit,” Karen and I say at the same time.

“Vanessa Fisk hired Poindexter to take him out.”

Karen’s already fighting tears. “Why?”

“I think there’s something in the motion he was about to file,” Matt explains, jaw clenched. “He was moving to dismiss the case,and Vanessa made sure he never got to it. I think maybe I missed something back then.”

I drain the rest of my coffee and set the empty cup on a cluttered spot on the counter. “Aren’t the files in storage?”

“That’s right,” Matt says. “Can you guys be my eyes?”

“Always,” Karen answers without hesitation.

They start gathering their things, barely saying another word. I do the same—sling my bag over my shoulder, but my feet won’t move.

I look at Frank at his little workstation, gathering his gear and loading bullets quietly.

“You coming, Frank?” Karen asks.

“Got shit to do,” he mutters, not looking up.

Matt tries to warn him—Fisk is coming, and it’s only a matter of time. But Frank doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t respond. Just keeps loading his gun.

Eventually, they give up. Karen grabs what’s left and heads for the door and Matt follows her.

But I stay, feet glued to the ground.

“Don’t do it, Frank,” I say. My voice is raspier than I expect.

He doesn’t look at me. “It’s not up for debate.”

The lump in my throat that I’ve been choking down all night finally rises.

“Just like how you left me that night?” I snap. “You fuck me, then disappear without a word—like I was just a little plaything for you to use and throw away.”

His dark and emotionless eyes finally lift to mine, studying me while the words weighed heavy on his tongue.

“Sweetheart,” he says, “I’m not the guy you created in your pretty little head.”

My lips part, in disbelief. His words tear through me—and suddenly I’m the one who needs stitching.

His words echo in my head and I laugh bitterly in disbelief while I walk towards the door. I throw it open and slam it behind me, the metal frame rattling loud and harsh.

I don’t even hear it.

“…Stay safe,” Frank mutters behind the door, shaking his head.

He had to do it, he had to break me.

My fist clench on my side and I see Matt and Karen standing at the end of the hallway. But neither of them dare say a word. Karen won’t meet my eyes, and Matt’s trying his hardest not to say something I’m not ready to hear.

And I try not to think about how Matt could probably hear my heart shatter the moment Frank said those words. I walk past them without looking back. Because if I look at them—if I let Karen’s pitying eyes find mine—I’ll break.

The storage unit is dark, only the light from the moon through the window and our flashlights hellp us look over the unit. I should be focused on combing through the files, looking for Foggy’s motion that has to be somewhere in these dusty boxes. But my mind keeps wandering—lingering somewhere else. To someone else.

His fingers slip downwards, getting coated by my juices instantly. “My poor thing, no one knows how to please you like I do.” “Frank,” I whimper, as his fingers circle my clit.

“You okay?”

Matt’s voice is low, careful—just barely louder than the rustling of paper and thuds of boxes being shifted around. Karen keeps her eyes fixed on a file, but I can tell she’s listening now too, her ears perk up. “Your heart is drumming hard again.”

I blink, and glance up at Matt. His head’s tilted slightly, something he does when he’s focusing on the sounds around him.

“Again?” I give up on the file in my hand and shove it back into the box. Some old tax thing. Not what we need.

“It spiked when you were fighting,” he says softly. “And also now.”

Karen looks over from her corner and raises an eyebrow. “God, that is really not fair,” she mutters under her breath.

I try to act normal, like he didn’t just read me to filth—but my hands betray me. A box slips through my grasp and slams on the floor.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“You heard his too?” Karen asks, pointing her flashlight to another box.

“Oh yeah,” Matt says calmly. I swallow hard and crouch down to gather the scattered files off the floor.

“I’m sure it was the adrenaline,” I offer, trying to sound collected. But my voice comes out higher and a little too defensive.

Matt backs down and doesn’t argue back. He just goes back to his box.

“Hey, this is it.” Karen strains a bit as she pulls out a heavy box from one of the shelves. “A year and a half ago.” The box thuds when she sets it down.

“Here, let me help,” I offer, grabbing the flashlight from her and holding it steady so she can see.

“Yes! Okay, here’s the motion Foggy filed,” she says, pulling out a thick manila file.

“Good work, Karen Page,” Matt praises, stepping closer.

Karen flips it open. “Foggy was going to argue that…” She trails off, eyes skimming the page. “Whoa.”

She keeps reading. “Due to the unique nature of the Red Hook Port Location, no crime was committed in New York state or even the United States of America. Therefore, the court has no jurisdiction to prosecute.”

“What?” Matt’s brows pinch.

“There’s a photocopy,” I say, reaching over to pull out the paper that’s halfway slipping from underneath. “Red Hook Charter, 1855. Holy crap. It’s a free port.”

“Exempt from the jurisdiction of the city,” Matt mutters. “and the country for that matter.”

“What would that have to do with the Fisks?” Karen asks, looking at Matt.

Matt exhales, slow and heavy. “Vanessa has used the port to store art for years now. I mean, if it’s a free port, she’s doing it without customs, without taxation, without fear of seizure.”

“She could launder money legally,” Karen says, stunned.

“Wow. That sneaky motherfucker,” I mutter under my breath.

Matt nods, voice low. “This is about the Fisks building their own city-state.”

Karen starts closing the files carefully. I reach for my bag, tossing it over my shoulder as I grab my flashlight.

“Let’s go see what they’re hiding,” Matt says, already halfway to the door.

When Karen drops me off, the street is calmer than last night from the havoc that broke out from the blackout. My neighbors and the local store owners are out sweeping debris, the air thick with tension from the mayor’s call for martial law.

I unlock my apartment, and the pale pink glow of sunrise pours through the windows like none of last night even happened. Like we didn’t just unravel the reason Foggy was targeted twelve hours ago.

I peel off my jacket, kick off my shoes, and head straight for the kitchen. I’m too tired to think, too wired to crash. I just need something in my stomach before my head crashes on my pillow for the rest of the day. Sleep feels like the only escape I’ve got, the only way to try and push Frank’s voice out of my head.

I reach up to grab a cereal box and a bowl, the perfect lazy breakfast. I open the fridge and grab the milk carton, but the second I shut the door, a voice startles me.

“Got some coffee, sweetheart?”

I spin around so fast the room tilts and the carton slips from my hand, crashing to the floor. The cold liquid flooding the tiles around my feet.

Frank is on the floor, bloody and horribly beaten.

He’s slumped against the wall, one hand pressed over his ribs, clearly in pain—but still somehow smirking through the mess of his split lip and bruised face like nothing.

“Frank,” I breathe, the mess forgotten as I drop to my knees beside him. My hands hover, desperate to help but terrified of hurting him more. “Why are you on the floor?”

“I didn’t want to ruin your couch,” he mutters.

A strangled laugh escapes me. “Now I have to get rid of this rug.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay. I got it for cheap at a thrift shop.” I shrug, I need a new rug anyways.

“No.” He shakes his head, wincing as he tries to sit up straighter. I start to stand, to look for the first aid kit, but he catches my wrist before I can move away.

“You’re not a plaything,” he says. “You’re more to me than what I can express.”

I freeze, but I don’t pull away from his grasp. “Can we not do this right now?” I swallow back a sob, looking away from him.

“I didn’t mean it. You know me.”

“Do I?” I say, raising my voice. “Because sometimes, for a second, I think maybe this is it. Maybe he’s finally giving me his all. And then you’re gone before I even realize what’s happening.”

His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Come on,” I say, wrapping his arm over my shoulder, bracing myself under his weight. “Let’s get you up.”

He stumbles, groaning with every movement, but I manage to carry him to the bathroom. I push the door open with my shoulder and ease him down onto the wooden stool by the tub. My hands are trembling as I twist the faucet, waiting for the water to heat up—warm enough to soothe his muscles.

The silence in the room hangs heavy between us, but his eyes stay on me, tracking every step I take.

I kneel in front of him and grab the scissors. There’s no way I’m asking him to lift his arms, not with the state he’s in. I cut through his shirt carefully, revealing a mess of bruises and cuts that make my stomach twist.

“Jesus, Frank,” I murmur.

I reach for the first aid kit, my hands moving on quickly. I start with the dried blood on his chest, cleaning each wound slowly. He winces under my touch, but I try my best to be gentle and not cause him any more pain.

When I finish, I rise and step between his legs. I lift his chin, tilting his face toward the light. My fingers graze his swollen lip, his scraped cheekbones. His hands settle on my hips, holding on as I clean him up.

Once I’m done, I help him to his feet, bracing him again as I unbuckle his belt. My eyes flick up to his. “This okay?” I ask, and he nods.

I undress him carefully, and help him into the tub. He sinks into the water with a grunt, letting it pull the weight from his bones. His eyes fall closed as his back hits the cold wall, and I sit at the edge of the tub, dipping the sponge into the warm water before running it slowly over his shoulders.

The water clouds pink with leftover blood, and my hand moves to his chest—his heartbeat steady beneath my touch. The same place I used to lay my head. The same place that used to make me feel safe, but I don't know if that place is meant for me anymore.

I let my fingers linger, the sponge discarded to the side and forgotten. My hands move slower, softer, over the places I used to kiss him and never get tired of.

And just for a moment, I let myself feel it all. The weight of everything I’ve been carrying. The ache that never really goes away. The sharp sting of anger and heartbreak. And the love I try so hard for him to accept, to let me in all the way.

Tears slip down my cheeks. I try to hide it, keep my sniffles quiet, but he notices.

His eyes open, and his hand comes up to wipe my tears away. I lean into his touch, even though part of me wants to push it away.

“Talk to me,” he says.

“I didn’t think we would find ourselves like this again,” I admit.

“I thought you wouldn’t let me in,” he replies, his voice rough.

“That’s never been the problem. That’s why we keep ending up here, stuck in this cycle.” I pull away from his touch, but he grabs my hand before I can go far, squeezing it tightly. “I’m just tired of this, Frank.”

He doesn’t interrupt. He just listens.

“I don’t care about flowers or fancy dinners or anniversary gifts. That’s not what I want. I want mornings and nights with you. I want the little things—the moments when I’m trying to pick a fight with you because I’m being a brat and stubborn, and you diffuse the bomb with a kiss or a joke or by just… being the version you only let me see.”

His mouth tugs up in the corner, a soft and familiar smile.

“You love flowers,” he says, and it makes me laugh through the tears. “Don’t try to act like you don’t,” he adds with a low chuckle, wincing as it pulls on his ribs.

“I do,” I admit, then pause. “But I love—” The words catch in my throat, and I look away again. “I need to know you won’t leave. That you won’t shut me out. I need you to fight for me the way I keep fighting for you.”

I don’t wait for his reply. I stand up from the tub, my fingers slipping from his hand. I grab a towel and help him stand slowly, carefully, easing him out of the tub. I hand him the towel and step out of the bathroom, needing a little space—just a few seconds to breathe before the weight of everything drags me under again.

In my room, I pull the bedsheets down and place a change of clothes at the end of the bed. One of his old t-shirts, the soft one that somehow still smells like him, and the sweatpants I stole from him and refuse to give back.

When he walks in, towel slung low on his hips, my storm-filled eyes meet his. His gaze locked on me as he grabs the sweatpants and carefully slides them on. I step closer, press my hands gently to his chest, and push him to sit on the edge of the bed. I grab the t-shirt and help him pull it over his head, mindful of the fresh stitches on his shoulder.

Do something, babe. Say something. Lose something, babe, risk something. Choose something, babe, I got nothing

“Get some rest,” I murmur, helping him ease down into the mattress.

“Baby—” His hand catches my wrist before I can walk away. His grip is loose, but it stops me in my tracks. “I can try. But you have to be patient with me.”

I swallow hard, blinking up at the ceiling before I meet his eyes again. “I’ve been patient all this time, Frank,” I say quietly. “For years I’ve been the one picking up after us. Looking after you when you’re hurt—even when you hurt me first. I need you to do more than try”

“There’s things I have to work out and fix first,” he mutters.

“This is what I’m saying,” I breathe. “You always have something first. There’s always something before me.” I force the lump in my throat down, even though it burns.

He hesitates, but he lets my hand go.

“I’m never going to be your first choice, Frank. This was meant to fail and break from the beginning.”

My voice betrays me while I try to fight back the tears. I hate it—how it makes me sound like I’m begging. When I’m already done with trying and fighting for something that keeps bruising me.

Still, I pull the blanket over his chest, and I lean down and press a kiss to his forehead, maybe for the last time.

Then I turn and walk toward the door. “Good night, Frank.”

I can't find a pulseMy heart won't start anymore

#frank castle x reader #frank castle imagines #frank castle fanfic #frank castle x female #frank castle imagine #frank castle smut #frank castle fic #the punisher x reader #frank castle fanfiction #daredevil born again #ddba

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wallofchynax · 3 days ago

Text

ALL THAT YOU ARE

Synopsis: You and Seth have been fuckbuddies drifting apart. Now that he's a Heyman guy, he comes back unto your life and wants you for real this time. You shouldn't want him; you don't trust Heyman but Seth won't take no for an answer this time

content warnings: dubcon, oral sex (f!recieving), creampies, seth being manipulative, choking

got a request? send it over to me <3

You weren't exactly on speaking terms with Seth these days.

Something had changed with him. It started at Elimination Chamber, and it went through to Wrestlemania. You weren’t surprised when he had became a Paul Heyman guy. You could have seen the writing on the wall months ago. Your relationship, if you wanted to call it that, had been tense. You weren’t exactly in a purely platonic relationship but you weren’t in a romantic relationship either. Truthfully, you didn’t really know how you felt about Seth and recently, you were even more confused.

However, when you were getting ready for Raw in your locker room, you heard the door open. You didn’t invite him in but then again, people like Seth Rollins don’t wait for permission. Being a Paul Heyman guy meant that you didn’t need to wait for anyone now.

You were on the bench, taping your wrists not really looking at him but you could feel his eyes. He wasn’t watching you with the eyes that he normally did and you could feel it on your back. Something had corrupted that charm and made it more calculated. Feral.

He didn’t speak. He closed the door and watched you but you knew he was there. You always knew he was there without him saying a word because the air in the room changed each time.

“You know you are wasting your time down here,” he said, finally, voice smooth and low, the way temptation always sounded before it turned into sin, “You should be at the top with me, like you deserve,”

You didn’t look at him – you just spoke flatly, “I’m not interested in being one of Heyman’s puppets,”

He laughed. Not his normal over the top, show boating laugh. It wasn’t cruel, it wasn’t kind. It was just knowing.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying,” You heard his steps alongside his words. You felt him, even before his fingers grazed your shoulders, “You wouldn’t belong to him. You would belong to me,”

You hated that it made you shiver with want.

“You don’t get it, do you?” He murmured as he moved to crouch in front of you. He was forcing you to look at him and there was something soft yet so calculating about the way he looked right now. He placed a hand on your knee, soft circles just under the hem of your gear, “I asked for you personally. Heyman didn’t even need convincing,”

His eyes were full of fire and smoke with something you weren’t sure you could resist.

“You can say no, Y/N. You know you can always say no and I’ll leave you alone…” his voice was soft, almost caring but you knew better when his hand was pressing up against your thigh, “But that’s not what you want, isn’t it?

He tilted his head, mouth slightly parting.

“You’ve always wanted this. You’ve always wanted me,”

You opened your mouth. You wanted to argue with him, slap him or maybe kiss him but you were conflicted and it showed on your face and the way your face went pink when his hand was sliding higher on your thigh, urging your thighs to spread for him.

“I barely recognise you, Seth…”

His smile curled but his eyes looked soft. Sympathetic even.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he murmured, voice dark like honey as he leaned in closer, so close his breath fanned your cheek, making you ache even though you wanted to run, “Maybe this is who I’ve always been. Maybe you just haven’t been looking close enough,”

His other hand came up, not rough but intentional as his fingers slid along your jaw to hold you still, so you didn’t have a choice but to meet his gaze.

“I see you,” he whispered, “Even when no one else does. I see you even when you try and bury it underneath all that pride. I see you,”

Your lips parted but no sounds came out. You were trembling but not out of fear. His words were hitting something that was raw and true. You hated how Seth seemed to know that he had some sort of power over you.

“You don’t have to trust Heyman. You don’t even have to trust me,” he said as his thumb brushed over your lip, slow and a touch manipulative, “But you will come with me whether you think it’s right or wrong,”

“Why? You asked, voice tight and aching as your breath caught up. His fingers felt your jaw and trailed down your neck, right over your pulse point, “So you can say you own me? Is that it, Seth?

His chuckle this time was lower, and more honest.

“I already do,”

He leaned in, lips just ghosting your own. You felt him everywhere trying to cage you in and the worst part was he didn’t even need to try,

“Don’t lie to yourself. You have never belonged to anyone but me…”

You wanted to shove him away. To scream, to laugh in his face, to tell him he was wrong.

But your body betrayed you.

You didn’t move. You didn’t flinch. You stayed still, breath catching in your throat as his lips brushed over yours, not quite a kiss, not yet, but claiming all the same. Seth’s fingers moved lower, down your collarbone, dragging with the slow reverence of someone memorising the shape of you. His other hand still cradled your jaw, not tight, but with just enough pressure to say you’re not going anywhere.

“Say it,” he whispered.

Your eyes snapped to his. “Say what?”

“That you feel it,” he said, lips brushing the edge of your mouth again. “This pull between us. You always have.”

“You’re wrong,” you said, but it sounded weak. Unconvincing. Because his touch was burning through every inch of resolve you thought you had.

Seth tilted his head, smiling faintly, and it looked almost sad. “You think I didn’t feel you watching me? You think I didn’t see the way you looked at me before I was his?”

His thumb brushed the hollow of your throat.

“I was yours long before I became Paul’s.”

You shook your head, voice cracking

“You don’t get to twist this...you don’t-”

But his lips were on yours before you could even finish your sentence. It was a kiss that silenced you. A kiss that dominated without pushing too hard.

It wasn’t violent. It wasn’t forceful. It was worse, it was intimate. Designed to unravel you. Meant to make you need it, crave it, beg for more even when you hated yourself for doing so.

You gasped against him, but your legs were parting instinctively when his hand slid up your inner thigh again, this time with purpose.

Seth broke the kiss with a soft bite to your lower lip, watching your flushed, dazed face with something darkly triumphant.

“You can keep pretending you don’t want this,” he whispered. “But sooner or later, you’re going to come with me.”

And then his mouth was on yours again, but this time it wasn’t a tease—it was consumption. His hands were on your thighs, spreading them effortless. Fingers yanking at your gear, pushing the waistband down, exposing you like it was his right.

“You think I can’t smell it...” he murmered, dragging your soaked panties down your thighs, “You were dripping and I barely touched you,”

“Seth...what the fuck.”

His hands grabbed your knees and spread you open, eyes flickering with lust and triumph.

“I’m going to ruin you,”

And then he dropped to his knees. Before you could even stop him, his hands were pressed against his thighs pushing them far apart before his head dipped down. When his mouth met your heat, tongue immediately flattening and dragging up your soaked folds with zero hesitation. He groaned like it fed something deep in him, something starving. You grabbed at his hair, not to guide, but to survive.

“Seth...jesus,”

He didn’t stop. His tongue circled your clit, teasing it, then pressing hard, just to feel the way your thighs jumped. He sucked, licked, and devoured like a man obsessed.

And maybe he was.

“You taste like you belong to me,” he growled into you, breath hot, voice wrecked.

You cried out, loud, grinding against his face before you could stop yourself. Your hips moved on instinct now, chasing him, chasing the friction that burned so good you couldn’t breathe through it.

He held you down when you started to shake,palms firm on your thighs as he sucked your clit harder, tongue flicking and teasing until tears brimmed in your eyes.

It was too much.

Too deep. Too raw.

And still, he kept going.

Your first orgasm tore through you like a scream, but Seth didn’t stop. He just kept going. He licked you through it, kept licking, mouth relentless as your hips jerked and your body spasmed. By the time the second orgasm hit, you were almost in tears, legs shaking uncontrollably, hands fisting his hair so tightly he was moaning against your clip.

He loved it. He fed on you wanting him as much as you wanted him. You broke on his tongue, crying now, voice hoarse as your body collapsed backward on the table, wrung out and soaked and shaking.

Only then did Seth rise.

He leaned over you, lips glistening, licking them slow as he stared down at your red face. He did not wait, after what he just pulled from your body. His fingers stroked along the folds of your sensitive pussy before scooping up your slick.

“There she is,” he whispered, brushing a tear off your cheek with the same thumb that held your lip earlier. “There’s my girl.”

His fingers pressed against your lip, forcing them inside so you could taste yourself on his fingers. Your lips parted automatically, tongue curling around the fingers he pushed in, coated in your slick, warm, salty. He watched the way you sucked on them, expression burning with pride and hunger, like he’d just claimed a prize he’d been chasing for years.

“My perfect little mess,” he murmured. “So fucking sweet for me.”

His hand cupped your jaw, thumb sliding across your wet bottom lip before he pulled his fingers free and stood fully between your spread thighs again.

You whimpered from overstimulation, but you were far from done.

Not even close.

He grabbed your hips, yanking you towards the edge of the table until your ass nearly slid off. He pulled down his wrestling gear enough to pull his cock out, thick, flushed, twitching with anticipation as he dragged the tip through your soaked folds.

“I should make you beg,” he said, his tone a low, dangerous purr. “But you don’t need to. Not anymore.”

You choked out a breath, too far gone to argue, thighs trembling as he lined himself up, pressing in, slow but deliberate. He wanted you to feel every inch, every second of the stretch.

And you did.

“Fuck,” you gasped, clawing at his arms as he sank deeper, inch by thick inch, stretching you open until he bottomed out.

He was so deep it hurt and felt too good to stop.

Seth grunted through his teeth, jaw clenched as he held still for a moment inside you, like he was savouring it.

“Made for me,” he growled, one hand gripping your thigh while the other tangled in your hair, pulling your head forwards and lowering so his lips were just hovering over his lips, “Say it. Say you were made for me,”

He slammed into you, hard and sudden, driving a moan out of your throat.

“Say it,”

You were crying now, but not from fear. From how full you were. From the way it felt to finally let go. From the way his cock split you open like you were made for this, made for him. His hand slid from your hair to your throat, not squeezing, just holding. Just there. Just enough pressure to ground you in the chaos of everything.

And God, you wanted it.

You moaned, loud, arching under, wrapping your legs tighter around his hips, thighs trembling.

“Say it,” he growled again, fingers digging in slightly deeper, brutal thrust that made the breath punch for your lungs, “Tell me your mine,”

“I’m yours,” you gasped, voice cracking as your fingers dug into his back, “Seth... I’m yours. Fuck, please don’t stop-”

That’s all he needed.

He fucked into you hard, deep, filthy, each thrust driving the table under you just a little farther back on the floor. The sound of skin on skin echoed through the room, along with your broken moans and the low, possessive growls from his chest.

“You feel that?” he rasped, fucking you harder. “That’s me inside you. Claiming you.”

You could feel everything, the stretch, the drag, the way your body clenched down on him so tight it almost hurt. Your pussy was so soaked it sounded obscene, each thrust messier than the last, slick and wet and perfect.

“You love it,” he snarled. “You love how I take you. You love being ruined.”

You nodded frantically, eyes wet, lips parted.

“Yes...yes, I fucking love it, don’t stop, please, don’t stop—”

His thumb found your clit again, circling it with rough, fast pressure that made your whole body jolt. Your moans rose in pitch, high, wild and helpless.

“Gonna come again for me?” he whispered, mouth close, tongue flicking over your earlobe.

You whimpered, head dropping back as the pressure spiralled, white-hot and uncontrollable.

“Yes! Fuck! I’m gonna...!”

And you shattered before you finished your sentence. You came hard, screaming his name as your body convulsed, your cunt squeezing his cock in tight fluttering waves that had his eyes rolling back.

“Shit!” he gritted out, slamming into you a few more times before he stilled, spilling inside of you with a broken guttural groan, his cock pulsing deep as he came, filling you with hot thick spurts until it leaked around the base. You clung to him, trembling, completely spent. His chest was heaving against yours, his forehead resting against the side of your neck, his voice a raspy whisper:

“You’re mine now. And I don’t share.”

His lips kissed the skin just beneath your jaw. Soft, almost sweet, a stark contrast to everything that came before.

“I know,” you breathed, heart pounding, fingers threading into his damp hair.

And this time, you don’t think you will leave him. Not now, not ever.

#wwe #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #wwe x reader #wwe x oc #wwe fic #wwe smut #seth rollins x reader #seth rollins smut #seth rollins fanfiction #Spotify

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alexanderlightweight · 3 days ago

Note

Hi i think i might be a little early for Wednesday prompts sorry ( not sure what time zone you are ) but if it sparks interest a continuation of the one shot that has manipulative magnus conspireing with cat and ragnor how to get alec to properly relax

hope you and everyone else are doing well and the moving house goes as smoothly as it can and hope you all have a nice day and that nightshade is better from battleing the bee and abyss is happier thanx for shareing your writing with us its brilliant

it has taken me a bit but I'm back and i'm answering new prompts and also making sure to not neglect and finish filling older prompts! so here we are and I hope you will still enjoy it and are doing well!

also things have been a bit off the last week but the house we moved to has been a blessing. the insulation mostly works here (which is amazing considering how hot it can get) rather than no insulation and melting shades and sparking outlets at the last place.

Nightshade has avoided bees since this incident and will sometimes bark for help and when I go to see what it is, it ends up that he's letting me know a bee got too close him and he needs comfort...

yes he is ridiculous but I love him. the Abyss is about to go be cuddled because her main person is out for a few nights and she demands pawtention! and I promised i'd annoy her with love.

<3 lumine

manipulation is rehab

Alec has figured Magnus out.

“You’re tenderizing me for the future.” He mutters into the sheets, “fattening me up and then getting my muscles nice and soft.”

“Yes darling, I’m going through all this effort so I can make a nephilim roast. Angelic meat definitely is enhanced by lavender and wintermint.”

Magnus’ rather droll tone is as soothing as his hands and Alec nods in agreement despite knowing how ridiculous he’s being.

“I’m okay with this.”

“Wonderful, you’re fine with me taking care of you as a means to devour you. Yet you shy away every time I try to ease your burden. A true wonder you are, sweetheart.”

That sounds a little rude even if it’s not actually insulting and Alec means to complain but then Magnus’ fingers press down on a particularly stubborn knot that even an iratze can’t unravel and Alec goes even more limp.

Magnus’ fingers are as magical as his magic, which makes sense because Magnus is magical.

“Alexander, can you still breathe?”

It’s an unfair and unnecessary question, especially because Magnus’ fingers have paused and Alec whines in despair. He can hold his breath for more than long enough but apparently Magnus doesn’t agree and Magnus is the one with the power of magic and talented fingers.

With a sigh Alec turns his head away from the smothering embrace of Magnus’ many pillows.

Pillows that smell like Magnus shampoo and would have been a delightful way to go.

“Yes, Magnus. I can still breathe.”

He wiggles, trying to shimmy his back and flex the muscles there to make sure Magnus knows he can get back to what he was doing. There’s a deep, delighted chuckle above him before finally Alec has Magnus’ fingers back where they belong.

On Alec, clearly.

Which is something Alec didn’t realize for far too long and he’s going to spend the rest of his life making up for all the time he’s missed since meeting Magnus.

—-

Alexander is surprisingly docile once Magnus actually gets to work. The difficult process was getting him to settle down enough to accept comfort and help. Now that Magnus has passed that hurdle, Alexander’s is soft clay, moldable and pliant beneath Magnus’ palms.

There’s a connection that forms between the touch of Magnus’ skin to Alexander’s that both electrifies and soothes and Magnus drinks in the soft noises of pain and pleasure that his shadowhunter makes.

Alexander is sweetly intoxicated by magic and potions and the candles that ease him to a gentler state of relaxation. Beneath Magnus’ palms the weight of the world is shaved away and Alexander breathes deep and even and calmly.

And for once, Magnus doesn’t have to chase his shadowhunter down to keep him in one place, not when he’s eager and quiet beneath Magnus’ touch.

AN:

alec hasn't quite realized that Magnus just wants to take care of him. he's trying to rationalize it and he's not actually being very rational and Magnus is just tiredly amused by the whole thing and really just happy to finally get his Alexander in one place long enough to see him relax.

magnus probably could have just laid next to Alec and started napping like an hour into it, but he's so pleased by finally getting free access to Alec without interruptions or 'i have responsibilities' or 'i don't want you to trouble yourself'. Alec can't make any complaints when he's too incoherent to make sense.

Magnus is going to bite him if he keeps up the talk about Magnus just wanting to eat him though. just because Magnus only has so much willpower. which I think is fair.

alec is just really enjoying the fact that his muscles are no longer solid. he is puddle.

#lumine writes #writing wednesdays #writing wednesday #manipulation is rehab #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters

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fanfics-i-find-here · 18 hours ago

Text

Do I Know You? Part 23

Synopsis: the brunch begins! You have a conversation with Duke and Damian.

Note: this has been interesting to write just because there other people I have to work into the story. I think this might feel rushed, like there’s a lot going on but that could just be me. Enjoy the brunch (part one of it at least)!

Masterlist

Despite being cajoled into a suit, neither Bruce nor Alfred pulled Jason into the opening activities of the event. Jason may be legally alive again, but it wasn’t something the family wanted the press in on. Of course, they were prepared should someone ask, but why flirt with the devil.

You had questioned it. A sweet tilt of your head had the late morning light catching your eyes, out on the edge of the crowd, while Bruce gave some speech about the importance of giving back to the community. Jason knew that none of these people cared, but donating to a Wayne cause would put your name out there. This was all publicity. He’ll give Bruce at least one thing: he knew how to manipulate the rich into helping people.

Jason had stared at you for a moment, taking in your soft features and questioning look. You shimmied your shoulders every so often in a way that made Jason think you were uncomfortable, but then you would settle down again, watching him in wait with a faint smile.

“I don’t usually come to these things.” He finally answered, still staring at you, “Nobody would want me up there anyway.” He didn’t mean to sound like such a drag, but that was the way he felt. That Bruce usually invited him to these events out of obligation, not necessarily because he was wanted. You must catch his tone because your next words are a soft coo.

“That’s too bad for them. Now I get to keep you with me instead.” The pout you give him certainly makes him feel some type of way. He wishes he could just kiss it off you. Instead, he grabs two flutes off a tray as a server walks in front of you.

“Mimosa?” He offers, usually he wouldn’t drink. He hated the taste of champagne, but he needed something to get through the day, and the orange juice would hopefully drown out the flavor. You take the glass timidly, readjusting your grip every few seconds.

“How do you hold it?” Your confusion makes him want to laugh, along with your whole hand grip on the glass.

He remembers the first time he had snuck a glass of champagne at a gala when he was thirteen. It had been a few months after Bruce had taken him in, and he just wanted to try some so bad because that’s what all the fancy people were drinking. The wait staff was no competition for the Robin in training, but Bruce had caught him before he could bring his lips to the glass.

Surprisingly, at least to him at the time, fresh off the streets, Bruce didn’t scold him. He hadn’t even taken the glass away from him as he gently coaxed Jason into a side room, out of the eye line of others. It was there that Bruce had squatted down and taught Jason how to hold a champagne glass the proper way.

“I don’t want you drinking now, but when you're old enough, you’ll need to know how to hold it.” Bruce had said. At the time, it had been startling for Jason, the implication that Bruce was going to keep him until he was well into adulthood, that Bruce didn't want to be just a temporary guardian for him.

Bruce had let him have a sip, just one, and Jason had happily relinquished the glass over to Bruce, not wanting to drink anymore of it.

The sudden memory is jarring, enough that he almost steps into someone behind him, had you not stopped him with a hand on his arm. You look worried, that cute scrunch you get between your brows, prominent.

“Are you-” Jason stops your question to readjust your handhold on the glass. He didn’t want to talk about it, the memory. It was rare that he thought back to his time as Robin with fondness. Usually, believing the narrative he had told himself. That he was never enough, not the golden child, Dick Grayson, and easily replaced by the better copy of him, Tim Drake. No, He didn’t want to talk about it with you.

****

You're startled by Jason’s swaying, an unsteadiness to him that concerns you, but he brushes you off before you can ask. You probably would have ribbed him for it, told him to let you help, had you not gotten distracted.

Distracted by the way his entire hand covers yours over the glass, moving your hand to hold the glass properly. Yes, very distracted. You knew Jason’s hands were larger than yours. Jason was larger than you in every way. Taller and muscular, your brick wall of a friend. This was not new information.

However, staring at his hand now made you think of early that morning, the press of it against the bare expanse of your lower back, how he had easily pressed you down and kept you there. Your mind drifts closer to the scene in front of you, his hand curled around yours, and you get a flash of his hands pinning your own to a mattress.

You blink away the thought as the warmth of his hand leaves yours. You meet his eye before dropping your gaze with heat on your cheeks. You can't believe you're thinking about something like that in such a public place. Your eyes settle on the glass, your fingers now towards the bottom, index and thumb pinching the stem, your other three fingers resting. You pop out your pinkie and tilt your glass to Jason.

“Cheers?” you say as you wiggle your pinkie. He chuckles at your antics, shaking his head.

“It's not tea, put your pinkie down.” Despite his words, he knocks his glass against yours in a pleasant clink. Jason takes a large gulp like his life depends. Your lip quirks into a small smile. Sometimes he was so odd.

You take a small sip and your face twinges, nose scrunching a little in disgust. You don’t know what it was with rich people, but that was some weird-tasting orange juice.

“Don’t like the taste?” Jason asks you, eyes on the crowd like he’s searching, you assume for the rest of his family, the opening activities having ended.

“It’s okay,” you pause to take another sip, “I’ve had better.” You say which you think makes you sound full of yourself, but you really had better orange juice than this, freshly squeezed at the farmers market.

“Sorry,” you add on, feeling guilty for already dissing on the food being served.

Jason snorts at your comment, taking another long drink, “Don’t be. Keep up the attitude, you might just blend in with these people.”

“I don’t think that’s something I want,” you say in mild disgust. Just in the short ten minutes since the event began, you had gotten enough dirty glances to know that this is not your type of event nor your type of people.

“Good. Keep that in mind, sweetheart.” Jason mutters, unexpectedly stepping into your space and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You don’t fight the urge to smile at his affection.

“There you two are! What’re you hiding for?”

It takes you a second of scanning the crowd to find the bouncy blonde hair. You glance around where you and Jason stand. It’s hardly what you would call hiding, very much still in the open forum. You take a longer sip of your drink, the flavor slowly becoming less and less obvious. Jason watches you as you do so.

“We could still run. She hasn’t made it to us.” He whispers the words into your ear and it has you giggling into his shoulder.

“She already saw us, it's too late for that.” As the last word leaves your lips, Steph hops in front of you two. Following behind her is a young, dark-skinned boy. He has a mirth to his eyes that makes you feel like he’s ready to tease anyone in his current vicinity, but he seems set on Jason.

“Look who finally showed up. Suddenly remembered you had family, or is this more about the pretty lady I’ve all about from a few birds?” the young man teases. You were right about him having his eyes set on Jason.

“Take it easy, Daisy Dukes, just be happy I'm here,” Jason responds, and it has you spitting your juice back into your glass to laugh. You're quick to cover your mouth with your hand, a flush of embarrassment running through you. The three Waynes you stand with all smile at you, which makes it worse.

“Sorry,” you mumble, pressing the side of your face to Jason’s shoulder where you had giggled into earlier. Jason’s arm comes around your shoulder, and the warm expanse of his hand settles on your bare shoulder, thumb stroking soothingly.

“It’s okay,” He waves you off, “You must be the girl I’ve heard so much about. I’m Duke.”

You shake his hand and offer your name up, “and Daisy Dukes, I get it now. Not in reference to the short.”

“Oh, you thought-“ Steph cuts off her own statement, falling into a state of laughter, Duke close behind. It draws the attention of some of the brunch goers, a spare glance of disdain.

Just as their laughter starts slow, Duke adds, “I think I could rock them, I’ve got the perfect legs for it.” It has Steph cracking up again, and you join her. Even Jason lets a quiet chuckle leave his lips.

“He dines to laugh with his estranged family,” Duke gasps. You can tell it’s a playful rib at Jason, Duke's tone layered in teasing, but it makes Jason grumble.

“You hungry? I know we didn’t eat breakfast.” He questions you quietly, ignoring the two gigglers in front of you.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

“Should eat.”

“Yeah, whatever.” You wave off his accusatory tone. He smirks at you and takes your now-empty glass to swap it for a full one. The ease with which he exchanges the glass on the moving trays has you shifting just slightly. If someone were to ask, you’d say it was from standing for so long. That would be a lie.

“Will you be okay if I leave you with these two hooligans?” He spares a glance where they’ve settled, now seemingly picking fun at a woman's hat.

“Yeah, you won't be gone long, right?” You're worried a little to be left with Jason’s family, but Steph was there, and she was someone you were very familiar with. He nods at your question.

“Bring me food then,” You playfully demand. Jason cracks a smile at you and presses a longer-than-necessary kiss to your temple. He leaves you there, and you watch him easily sneak through the crowd.

The moment he’s gone, Steph asks you a question, something about how many fruits you can put on a hat before it becomes a fruit basket. You fall into an easy conversation with her and Duke. Tim comes by briefly to say hi before he’s dragged away by “Vultures” trying to make a deal with Wayne Enterprise (according to Steph). Soon, Cass greets you, but only to take Steph to show her the boy they had apparently been spying on at these events, and you're left alone with Duke. Evidently, he’s been waiting for a spare moment because the girls are hardly out of sight when he questions you.

“You’re just pulling everyone’s leg, right?” The question throws you off.

“What do you mean?” Your tone is worried, worried that you’ve made a bad impression, and you're about to be accused of trying to marry someone for money.

“You and Jason. It’s a big prank on the family that you're not dating.” Duke says the words with such surety that for a brief moment, you almost nod and agree with him. You shake your head.

“No, Jason and I aren’t dating. We’re just friends.” You take another sip of the fancy orange juice.

“You’re gotta be shitting. There’s no way you two aren’t a thing.” You give him a reprimanding look for his language, which he pays no mind to.

“We just aren’t,” you pause for a moment, “Why do you think we're dating?”

Duke doesn’t hesitate, “Because you're obviously in love with each other.”

You glance down at your glass, swirling the drink around. Obviously? Was your affection that apparent? Wait, with each other?

“What do you mean by each other? You think Jason’s in love with-“

“Thomas, I wish to speak Jason's acquaintance in private.” You jump at the sound of Damian, who suddenly materializes beside Duke. Duke just rolls his eyes.

“Whatever,” He points a finger gun at you, “Yes, I do think that by the way.” He answers your second question before wandering off, and you're stuck with a child. You use the term child loosely because you think Damian is at the awkward pre-tween age. He gestures to a table, and you silently follow him and sit. You shift slightly, fighting with the halted straps, trying to ease the ache that had started to grow on your neck from it.

Once you settle, suddenly more aware of Damian’s stare, you feel like you’ve sat yourself a in a job interview. You try to smile, but his features don’t change. You’ve never felt so judged by a kid before. Of all of Jason’s siblings, Damian’s the only one you know anything about. Time to find some middle ground.

“So, Jason tells me you like animals?” you offer the statement in hesitation. Damian, surprisingly, seems shocked by your sentiment but schools his features quickly.

“Todd told you this?” Damian asks. You think there is an inkling of curious want in his voice. You remind yourself that Jason is Damian’s big brother. A big brother who doesn’t like to hang out at home. You're sure it can be hard, at such a young age, to be sure your sibling loves you if they're never around.

“I’ll share a secret with you, Damian.” He leans forward at the proffered secrecy, “You’re the only sibling Jason has told me anything about.” Damian seems pleased to hear the information, a grin works its way across his lips.

“Good, I am the best of us. You’ve already met Titus. Would you like to meet Jerry?” He asks, standing from his seat. Titus was the sweet great dane you had met earlier. Like any big dog, he thought he was a lap dog, which was fine with you. You hadn’t been aware of the dog's existence prior to meeting him, so you assume that Jerry is another dog. You easily follow Damian through the crowd and then out of it and onto a path leading away from the brunch.

****

“Oh. He’s a turkey.” To say you had been confused when Damian led you to a barn is an understatement. Your confusion grew when he introduced you to Jerry, who was not, in fact, a dog, but a turkey.

“Yes, what else would he be?” he doesn’t wait for your answer before moving more into the barn. You stare at Jerry, and he stares back before giving a gobble. You shake your head before following Damian.

“And this Batcow.”

MOOOOO!

You jump at the noise, startled by the appearance of a cow on the Wayne property.

“Batcow?” You ask incredulously. The cow takes a tentative step forward and Damian happily pets her, offering her an apple he must have snuck from the brunch.

“Yes. Batcow. She has a mask.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but still does a half outline of said mask with his finger. You take a step forward, and she snuffles at your hand in interest.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything for you, girl.” The cow seems unbothered by that fact and still lets you pet her.

“While I do enjoy introducing my animals, that is the purpose of my bringing you here.” Damian starts, and you wonder, briefly, if you should be worried before you decide otherwise. He was just a kid.

“Then why did you bring me out here?” You focus on petting the cow, her fur soft and obviously well cared for.

“You and Todd are courting. I do not often care for the pursuits of my siblings. Todd, however, is an exception to that.”

“Why?” you ask, genuinely curious.

“Jason was the first ahki I ever had before I met the rest of the family.” You're startled by the momentary language change, by the deep sincerity in his voice, and by the way he actually called him Jason instead of Todd. Damian gave such an air of aloofness, you assume he doesn’t have many moments like this.

“What do you mean?” you ask quietly, sparing a glance at the boy. He seems focused, a thoughtful expression on his features.

“He was with my mother when I was a baby,” he says slowly, like he might say the wrong thing, “before father knew about me.”

Your brows furrow. What strange family dynamic.

“It is a story for another time.” He continues, “The reason I brought you out here was to express my wishes regarding your relationship.” He straightens up.

“Ooh-kay, and what would those be?” You have no reason to deny the relationship bit because apparently the whole family thought you and Jason were together already.

“That you continue to bring him to the manor and ensure that he stays longer than family dinner.” He offers it like you're making some big trade deal, and you're pleased to find you were right about him wanting to spend time with Jason.

“I think I can manage that.” You say with a smile. You’ve found in the more recent months that it’s easy for you to convince Jason to do things. Spending time with his family might be harder, but you think you can manage.

“and continue to take care of himself. Todd has an issue of remembering that he is alive again and requires normal human care.” Your smile drops from his statement. Alive again?

“What?” You ask, hands pausing where their petting to meet Damian’s eye. He has a moment of panic before his features settle again. It startles you how much it reminds you of Jason, when he seemed like he told you more than he intended, always quick to hide the expression. You wonder if it’s a family thing.

“It's nothing,” He waves you off, “He trusts you. I’m sure you do not know, but He does not trust anyone, not father and not us. Perhaps that Harper idiot and all his delinquent friends, but he does not trust people in Gotham. He trusts you.” Damian says with a steady stare at you, and a heavy silence overtakes you both as you take in his words.

This was not a conversation you were expecting to have today. You had maybe anticipated some sort of shovel talk, especially if the whole family believed you two were already dating, but this was much heavier. It made you feel dizzy. You're thankful for the docile cow between you two for giving you something to steady yourself on.

Part of the conversation hurts because you know Jason trusts you and you trust him. You also know that you're both lying to each other about something. Yours regarding the reasons you came to Gotham and your relationship with Red Hood, and about that night in the warhouse. Okay, you were lying about a couple of somethings.

“I’ll do my best. I care about him a lot.”

“I am aware. He cares deeply about you as well. I have never seen him so affectionate with someone and openly so. He has been calmer as well. Less prone to violent outbursts. You are good for him.”

“Oh,” you don’t know what else to say (Actually, you want to ask about the alive again thing and violent outburst thing, but this conversation seems too sentimental for that), “Thank you, Damian.”

He gives you a curt nod before stepping away from Batcow. The cow moos in indignation.

“I shall return later. Until then, control yourself, Batcow.” The cow moos again at his comment before dipping her head to eat some hay, “We should return to the festivities. I am certain Todd will have a stroke if he cannot find you.”

You suddenly remember that the only reason you had been parted from Jason was so he could get food for you.

“Oh, shit,” you smack a hand over you mouth, “shoot, I mean, shoot. Don’t use that word.” Your use of language and attempt to cover up makes Damian smile playfully. He seems more like a child.

“I see Todd is rubbing off on you as well.” He notes as you two walk out of the barn and on the path back to the brunch.

“I don’t know that bad language is a Jason thing.” You say, your sure things about Jason have bled into who you are, but you don’t think that’s it.

“Then perhaps the saying it around a child.” He says, and you consider the notion.

“Yeah, okay, that might be a Jason.” You say with a laugh. You and Damian fall into a comfortable silence as you walk back to the brunch. You still feel dizzy, and you're starting to think it has nothing to do with the conversation. Maybe Jason was right, you needed to eat.

You two barely make it to the brunch before Damian is whisked away by Steph. She sets another mimosa glass in your hand with promises of finding you later. You're suddenly alone in the crowd, but you don’t feel as anxious as you did earlier. You sip on the offered mimosa, hoping to hold your stomach over with the orange juice til you can find Jason.

Additional Note: I don’t know if anyone’s notices but I am a firm believer in Jason and Damian knowing each other at the league. I know Damian’s close with Dick but I think him Jason get along well because they do have shared experiences from the league. I think it’s such a fun concept. Anyway, next chapter does have Selina, Bruce, and Dick. I’m still writing the scene with Dick but I have waiting for this moment for weeks, probably months and I hope it works the way I want it too. Thank you guys for being so so lovely, you keep my serotonin up with your words. As always I love to hear people’s thoughts! So talk to me, baby!

Tag List: @little-miss-naill, @nikilolo787, @joonunivrs, @uzxotic, @qardasngan, @stormz369, @g4bbi3xx, @iwatobiswimbros, @the-lonely-flute, @elz-xo, @gone-batty-fics, @princessesgarden, @notfckincreative, @love-theangel, @feyres-fireheart, @penguimlover23, @herodedicatedblog, @dearghostling, @automaticplant, @alma-ru3, @13fresh, @anuttellaa, @nekotaetae, @redsakura101, @sleepy-head1

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #batfam x reader #do i know you?#kandywrites

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moodymelanist · 2 days ago

Note

If you’re still looking for short nessian prompts could you do Nesta and Cassian in a long distance relationship having a standing weekly video call but one of them is unusually late because they’re going to surprise the other in person

happy @nestaarcheronweek everyone! I’ve been struggling with writing block and life has been hectic af but considering it’s my event I thought I’d do a little something haha. we’ll see if I do more 👀

Nesta took a deep breath as she stood outside Cassian’s door, nervous despite the fact that she knew her boyfriend would be thrilled to see her.

He still made her nervous despite the almost two years they’d been together — the good kind, usually. They’d met by chance at one of those graduate school mixers that grad students only came to for the food, and Nesta would never stop being grateful to Gwyn demanding that she make an appearance.

“You need to get out of your law school bubble, Nesta,” Gwyn had told her with all the haughtiness a psych masters’ student could muster. “Plus, there’s going to be catering.”

Nesta had bumped into Cassian while waiting to get some more samosas, and the rest was history.

Considering he was in a history program, Cassian made that joke far too often, but Nesta didn’t mind. She’d just roll her eyes and shut him up with a kiss, and then neither of them minded too much after that anyway.

When her boyfriend had gotten the opportunity to study abroad and get a more hands-on semester, Nesta had threatened to break up with him if he didn’t apply. Cassian had been worried about leaving her abroad while he went off to Europe — something about how she’d manage to feed herself properly without his cooking — but they both knew this opportunity was too good to pass up. So Cassian had packed his bags, Nesta had driven him to Dulles and kissed him senseless, and they’d made do with phone calls and care packages and even a few honest to God love letters.

Nesta absolutely didn’t have them saved in her nightstand to pull out before bed. She did not.

Still, there had only been so much a woman could take of missing the love of her life before she had to take action. So Nesta had made sure her passport was renewed, packed her bags, and gotten her ridiculously rich brother-in-law to pay for her ticket.

Rhys had seemed more excited about the trip than Nesta was, which would normally make Nesta suspicious if not for how relieved he’d seemed that Cassian would stop complaining about how much he missed her to anyone who’d listen. Nesta had been too happy to save several hundred dollars to even be offended on Cassian’s behalf.

So she’d braved a flight across the Atlantic, managed to navigate her way through the airport, and finally found herself outside Cassian’s door. She’d timed it just right with his schedule that she knew he’d be just settling in to call her in the States, but little did he know that he’d be getting the real thing momentarily.

Sure enough, Nesta’s phone started vibrating in her jacket pocket within the next minute, and she cursed quietly as she fumbled to get it out of her pocket. Cassian’s face appearing on her screen made her gaze turn a little soft before she remembered she had to actually answer the phone, and she moved a little further down the hallway so he hopefully wouldn’t hear her through the door.

“Hello?” Nesta said, trying to speak quietly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Cassian said back. Just the sound of his voice made every thought in her head go blissfully quiet, and she smiled to herself knowing she would hear it for real in a few minutes. “How’s your day going? Excited for the weekend?”

“It’s okay,” she told him truthfully. “Just kinda long. I’m ready to take a nice nap, to tell you the truth.”

“Mhmm,” he agreed. Something shifted in the background and she pictured him laid out on the couch the way he always did at her place. “A nap with you sounds pretty nice right now.”

“I know,” she replied. She took a deep breath and started walking back toward his door, hoping that his reaction to seeing her would be good. “Hey, did you check your mail today?”

“No, why?” he asked. He sounded like he was sitting up now, and she smiled to herself knowing they were that much closer to seeing each other. “You send me something?”

“Maybe,” she answered playfully. “You should go find out.”

Cassian laughed, the sound of it spreading something warm through her chest. “Yeah, okay, twist my arm. I’ll go look now.”

Nesta waited patiently for him to put on some shoes, and then she could hear him unlocking his door and suddenly, there he was. He looked as handsome as ever, half his curls pulled up away from his face in a loose bun, and dressed in a dark gray shirt and black shorts.

God, he was hot. Nesta half hoped he wasn’t wearing underwear.

Cassian did a double take as he realized someone was standing in front of his door, his eyes widening in complete shock as he realized it was Nesta standing there. “Nesta?”

“Hi,” Nesta said, hanging up their call now that they were finally face to face. He was so adorable; she wanted to kiss that gobsmacked expression right off him. “Hope it’s okay that I dropped by.”

“Holy shit,” he said back. He surged forward and gathered her in his arms, and she melted immediately into the warmth of his body. She’d missed this. “You’re here.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled into his neck, breathing in the smell of him as deeply as she could manage. She wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his soft curls with a happy sigh. “I missed you.”

“Believe me, I missed you more,” he replied. He leaned back so he could press kisses to her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, making her laugh until he finally kissed her properly. “Fuck, sweetheart. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Let me in and I’ll make you believe it,” she answered, her grip on his hair turning decidedly more wicked.

It turned out Cassian was wearing underwear after all, but Nesta made sure it wasn’t for much longer.

#nessian #nestaweek2025 #nesta archeron #acotar #cassian #pro nessian #pro Nesta Archeron #pro Cassian #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #moodymelanistwrites

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everythinandanything · 3 days ago

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Okay, I have something of a theory about why a lot of rock bands now have large female fanbases. It's a little rough, but here goes nothing-

So, a lot of older rock fans will tell female rock fans that they only like these bands because they think the members are hot. I call bullshit for two reasons:

1. Oh yes, THAT's why fans listen to their music. To listen to the singer's eyebrows.

2. If that was the case, then why didn't the hair metal bands of the 80's have large female fanbases (I know that rock didn't start in the 80's, but that's when the rockstar archetype was brought into public perception, so I'm going with it)? They also had male artists in them, that many people found attractive.

Rock has been a male dominated genre basically since its inception, but the fandom demographics have changed in the last 25ish years to having large female fandoms. Because of that, I think it's major BS to say that female fans only like certain bands because they think the members are attractive. If that was the case, then rock bands having female fans wouldn't be a new development.

What HAS changed, though, is the material that these bands write about.

Compare Motley Crue's Girls, Girls, Girls to Blind Channel's Die Another Day:

"Girls, girls, girls Long legs and burgundy lips Girls, girls, girls Dancin' down on Sunset Strip Girls, girls, girls Red lips, fingertips"

vs.

"This world is gonna fuck you up It's gonna get dark and it seems too tough You don't wanna carry on I know all about giving up 'Cause lately I've been looking hard Where is my love? Where is my luck? Where is my faith? My reason to die another day"

Or let's look at Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard and Savior 2 by Black Veil Brides:

"Pour some sugar on me Ooh, in the name of love Pour some sugar on me C'mon, fire me up Pour your sugar on me I can't get enough"

and

"So I'm trying my hardest to be what you made Like a court jester, my smile won't fade Giving it all, rising to fall to my grave Answer the call, living in thrall, you're the one born to save"

Finally, examine the lyrics between Nothin' but A Good Time by Poison and The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance:

"Don't need nothin' but a good time How can I resist? Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time And it don't get better than this"

vs.

"If I could be with you tonight I would sing you to sleep Never let them take the light behind your eyes One day I’ll lose this fight As we fade in the dark Just remember you will always burn as bright"

I think you can get the picture. While a lot of older bands were singing about things that guys could relate to more easily, a LOT of modern rock artists are using the medium to work through their own mental health issues, fears, insecurities, and more "emotional" subjects that women and girls can relate to more easily. PLEASE NOTE that not for a second am I trying to say that men and boys don't also struggle with these emotional issues. The fact that the modern songs I'm pointing to are all sung by AMAB artists should prove otherwise. But in a world where toxic masculinity prevents men and boys from working through or even acknowledging their own mental health and emotional struggles, it's women and girls that are going to try and work through their mental health and relate to material that discusses these things.

Female fans aren't getting more into rock music because they think the artists are hot. What they are responding to is the material in the songs. Since therapy is expensive but Spotify is free, listening to music is a common way to try and work through their emotional turmoil. And rock bands just happen to be, more and more, writing about these themes of insecurity, fear, and mental illness.

I like what Joel said here, about sexism. Like. What’s wrong with being liked by teenage girls?

#blind channel #Joel Hokka #Niko Moilanen #Joonas Porko #Olli Matela #Tommi Lalli #Aleksi Kaunisvesi #black veil brides #Andy Biersack #Jinxx #Jake Pitts #Christian “CC” Coma #Lonny Eagleton #my chemical romance #Gerard Way #Ray Toro #Mikey Way #Frank Iero #rock music

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bnhaobservation · 1 day ago

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Overall, do you think Tomura is a well written character? And a well written main Villain?

Honestly the only criticism I have against him is that he doesn’t seem the threat the story portrays him as, but that’s really on Horikoshi and his refusal to let the Heroes face some long lasting consequences.

But, for real, I think Horikoshi’s decision to go with such an unconventional antagonist was his strongest card, both in originality and thematically. (Until he blew it).

I have seen people complain that Nine was a better Hero to the Villains, as he had an established, coherent goal from the start and was stable enough to actually pursue it, but for me Tomura’s madness and instability, his pain and raw anger, are much more compelling.

All of who he is is a manifesto of what happens to people who are discarded by society.

He’s a victim who won’t let what happened to him go, everyone will pay and see the consequences of his suffering. His untreated trauma and its effects, both for him and the environment around him, aren’t softened in any way.

However, he’s also shown to be able of improvement and change through the bonds he formed with the league. He had a sincere desire to make them justice hidden under the lump of hatred and sadness. But, (as much as I hate the whole afo/ofa psychic connection), he wouldn’t have ever seen his own growth and humanity without the hero who tried to save him, Deku. (Can’t believe I’m giving Deku credit.)

Nine, or someone more like him, could have never represented such a middle ground, because Nine was already able to save himself and others. Nine didn’t need society or a hero to help him, therefore society was not in need to be challenged to improve and become more inclusive.

Tomura learned to express real, heartfelt criticism of hero society, but that didn’t dismiss the need for heroes to save him from himself and his abuser.

He established valid thematic points without dismissing the heroes’ role in helping out victims, even the bad ones. He was perfect for the point MHA was making (or pretending to make).

But I don’t know, what do you think?

Sorry for answering you so late but not only I was away form home but, as usual, I planned for a short reply and ended up writing a long post analyzing Tomura.

Sorry about this but I should probably admit I do love Tomura so I’ve tried extra hard to be impartial, listing his good points and the flaws.

LET’S TALK ABOUT CHARACTERIZATION

For me the final idea behind Tomura’s character is great, he’s basically the mirror image of the main character, down to the red shoes. Both he and Midoriya start out Quirkless (Midoriya is born as such, Tenko had his own stolen). Midoriya is bullied outside his house but his mother loves him, Tenko has friends outside his house but his father makes said house unsafe. Then someone gives them a Quirk (that destroys Tenko’s family and Midoriya’s body) and offers to mentor them. Unluckily for Tenko it’s AFO while for Midoriya it’s All Might so Midoriya gets to have his ‘Hero story’ in which his actions inspire All Might to act, where Tenko murders his whole family.

And the two grow and Tenko is taught the downside/dark side of the Hero world, while Midoriya enrolls in U.A. high and learns of the bright side of it and then the two clash and Midoriya learns Hero society isn’t as perfect as he believes but decides to save Tenko, basically wanting to teach him the upside/light side of the Hero world.

This is the basic idea behind the two and it’s VERY GOOD.

Tenko/Tomura is perfect as a foil to Midoriya, he’s even given companions that match/mirror Midoriya’s friends: obviously Touya/Shouto, Himiko/Uraraka but, in a way, also Kurogiri/Bakugou (relationship from childhood) and if you really wants to pull things Atsuhiro/Iida (the families shaping them), Shuuichi/Shouji (the Heteromorph drama) and Jin/Aoyama (the betrayal plot). As you can see each of them has a point of similitude that however goes opposite to the other, same as Tomura and Midoriya.

Tenko/Tomura is given an intriguing backstory, an evolution, flaws, companions, a mentor figure, a starting point, an inner research for a goal that’s more than just ‘I’m evil’, an evolution and an end.

All this is very, very good.

What’s not so good is how the story handles all this.

Tomura’s evolution and inner world don’t get enough screentime.

In the first part he’s a certain kind of person that threatened Kurogiri, didn’t care for the Villains who carried with himself at the USJ and would have murdered Touya and Himiko because they annoyed him. Having a talk with Midoriya is a good idea to start to change him… but sadly despite Midoriya having PLENTY of screentime, the talk doesn’t equally affect Midoriya (why should we care? Because it would be important to have them affect each other instead while Midoriya does ask to All Might if there was someone he couldn’t save, this doesn’t really change his approach to things much).

Still, like Midoriya as a Hero, he’s not really much of a Villain (even though the police and the Heroes make an overly big deal of him) but it fits, because as Midoriya’s foil he can’t be too good.

Then we have the ‘Forest Training Camp’ arc and the ‘Hideout raid’ arc. Tomura somehow decides to put Touya in charge and target Bakugou. The story doesn’t explain how he came to the decision Touya was the one more fitting to lead the team which is a flaw in writing because all of sudden he considers the League his comrades and somehow it will be implied he knows their backstories (except maybe Touya’s) as he’ll claim each of them have suffered.

The story doesn’t even quite goes on why he wants Bakugou, does he see him as a fellow victim or just as an useful pawn to attack Hero society? Is he trying to be a manipulator solely for his own convenience or he’s genuinely trying to offer Bakugou a way out from a society that would chain and muzzle him?

Each one can have their own theory but the point is the story doesn’t really tell us what he felt for Bakugou and when they’ll confront again he’ll claim he lost interest in him… but he’s possessed by AFO so who knows.

All those plot/characterization holes are here because Tomura will move to his… ‘next stage’.

After AFO is jailed Tomura is characterized as someone who cares for the League. They’re now “friends”, “companions”, “allies” or, to use the word he uses ‘nakama’ (仲間), which is a word that implies a stronger bond that casual friends, they’re friends and colleagues/allies, they share with him something. He tolerates their weird behaviors, he wants to avenge Magne, he doesn’t mind if Himiko points her knife at his throat. I love this characterization and we can of course assume this is the natural evolution of him losing AFO and having to spend time with them so he grew close to them (as h e shows no care for Muscular, Moonfish, Mustard), but the story doesn’t portray this, it just jumps from a point to the other.

Kurogiri is whisked away by the plot, so that we can’t see their relation evolve.

Tomura though, is very interesting and promising as he deals with Overhaul, but also totally different from how he was before, he stays calm, he doesn’t get upset with Jin, he tries to protect the League, first telling Atsuhiro to wait, then jumping on the battleground when he doesn’t. Later he’ll negotiate with Overhaul calmly getting info out of him and sets up a way for them to take advantage of him. Ultimately he’ll destroy Overhaul and steals his bullets.

It’s a completely different Tomura if we compare him to the one who would throw a tantrum when things didn’t go his way, be it when All Might got in advantage, when he interacted with Stain or when Touya annoyed him. It’s a great Tomura and yes, as said before he could have changed naturally due to losing his mentor but… the story just change him without exploring the transition.

This is bad and sadly a recurring problem in the story. Characters change and WHY they did so isn’t explored or it is explored only vaguely so that it feels as if their character is retconned.

Now, people can change. They won’t do it overnight as it’s a pretty difficult process.

In theory times went by so yes, Tomura could change and his change would make sense and I can construct an (I hope) good argument on why he went toward this direction… but as the slow shift isn’t represented in any way, it might feel an abrupt shift to a reader.

The new Tomura block starts with ‘My Villain academia’, which more or less continues the new characterization of Tomura as someone who cares about his friends but also as someone who knows how to be a leader, making it even more marked. In fact he puts up with Shuuichi’s criticism, he goes to rescue Giran, he promises the League they can get what they want, he lets Touya free to do as he prefers, he opens up about his past, he handles Garaki and Re-Destro without losing it, gaining a commanding presence, he doesn’t coldly murder Re-Destro and his allies but becomes their ruler, he remembers what the League wanted to eat…

The change is now less abrupt compared to previously, it actually comes as a more smooth evolution of his character, plus the story gives him drama, finally revealing his past and helps us make sense of his motive.

In fact Tomura’s motive is now more ‘his own motive’, he has a target, he has decided to destroy all he hates so as to free himself from the weight in his heart where before, with his claiming he wanted to question society and that was it, he seemed to have less of an aim and just parrot AFO’s teachings.

All this is good and interesting to me, on the other side, Horikoshi never develop Tomura’s relation with Machia or with the Meta Liberation Army so it feels like he’s just using them and this is not so great. Credits when it’s due there wasn’t much time to explore it, as Tomura soon ends up in Garaki’s lab but it still feels a wasted chance considering in the end he’ll claim he wants to be ‘a Hero for the Villains’.

Again, the readers can try and connect things but the story doesn’t bother. Tomura gets a last moment of glory when he wakes up and fight the Heroes. He’s great in his characterization, the way he takes care of the League, of how he spares the High Ends so that they can use them, how he interacts with the Heroes, how he explains them the difference between Heroes and Villains, how when Midoriya complains he won’t forgive him, he calmly answers he won’t forgive them either, how he tries to resist to AFO’s possession, at first in a friendly way only to change tone when he realizes AFO has been using him, that’s a great Tomura.

Then he gets possessed and possessed Tomura is nowhere as interesting as we don’t get him react to anything that’s going on (Twice’s death, Touya’s revelation, Atsuhiro and Machia being arrested and so on…). Credits when it’s due, the story hardly focuses on the League at this point because the new antagonist is AFO and his band of merry escaped convicts/assassins.

Tomura ‘comes back’ for the battle with Midoriya. They don’t really talk much. Tomura has some good moments of characterization but, for being a moment I had long awaited, it mostly managed to disappoint me and it comes with characterization downsides too.

I tend to think at that point Horikoshi really wanted to end the manga and that was a huge part of the problem but I might be wrong. It’s fitting he feels suicidal in the way he attacks, I liked his monologue with Midoriya in the OFA space and, later, that’s nice he cares about Shuuichi but what about everything else? The fact he gets again possessed and psychologically shattered but no, he’s saved by Nana but he doesn’t get a meaningful talk with her or All Might and he’s fine entrusting everything to Midoriya when he first said the Villains needed a Hero… as if he thinks Midoriya can be a Hero for the Villains too… honestly doesn’t work well for me. Again the evolution feels forced, jumpy, Horikoshi wants him to say something and so he complies.

So, on the long run, Tomura’s characterization (as far as I’m involved) has up and downs that other Villains don’t have because they get less screentime so Horikoshi sticks to just a characterization for them.

It’s still an interesting characterization, one that could have been amazing if Horikoshi had just taken care to smoother some transitions and one I love even if I’m the one who has to do the work to connect the dots.

LET’S TALK ABOUT HIS GOAL

At first Tomura’s goal is hard to understand.

When facing All Might he claims he’s angry because both Heroes and Villains thrive on violence but they’re still categorized in good and evil, All Might is called a symbol of peace but he’s just a tool for violence made to keep Villains down, however violence can only breed more violence and he plans to show it by killing All Might. [Chap. 19] All Might shoots his motive down claiming he’s not an idealist but someone who’s enjoying himself, which Tomura confirms. All Might will later call him a man-child.

When he confronts himself with Stain he summarizes his goal is ‘kill All Might and all he doesn’t like’ [Chap. 47] which leads Stain to label him as a temper tantrum kid claiming he has bloodlust without conviction. Pressured by Stain, Tomura insists he has no conviction but he’s still driven by All Might and the society that worship him and that he wants to crush, so that can be his conviction. Stain is impressed and agrees they’ve in common the wish to destroy the status quo and that Tomura actually has a seed of conviction. [Chap. 49]

Tomura is not quite sure, when wandering before meeting Midoriya he insists he and the Hero Killer were just ‘destroying the things they hate’ and, talking with Midoriya he claims he hates everyone and everything. His words also hint he’s upset society isn’t noticing him but they’re focusing on Stain. After his talk with Midoriya though, his mind clears up even though is explanation isn’t so clear. He claims he’s angry at Stain and Midoriya and at society because they’re all thinking about All Might, smiling wide and thinking there’s no one All Might can’t save while, at the same time, remembering how All Might didn’t save him. Moments later he’ll claim he’ll create a world without All Might and cause enough destruction to show everyone how fragile their justice really is. [Chap. 69]

When facing Bakugou he observes how everyone is giving a hard time to Heroes because their job is to protect people but they did too little, too late and screwed up, but everyone can do it yet people expects them to be perfect. He then claims his war is based on a few simple questions: ‘What is a Hero? What is justice? Is this what society’s really supposed to be like?’ He also points out that all in the League have different stories but they’ve all suffered thanks to other people, to rules and to heroes and felt suffocated. [Chap. 85] Tomura is pointing out society is, in a way, reacting like him. The Heroes failed to save them and they turned against the Heroes, he’s NOT different from them and they’re not different from him. It’s just that they’re so stuck on how Heroes are perfect they don’t think Heroes can fail and create people like him, but have Heroes fail them and they turn against Heroes just the same as him. And this is what Tomura wants, he wants them to feel his own desperation, he wants them to notice he’s desperate and needed help and no one helped him.

When confronting Overhaul, he claims he’s collecting people to annihilate the Hero society and the latter scolds him about Tomura not having a plan, not knowing what to do once he has expanded, how to use the people under him. [Chap. 125] The two of course couldn’t be more different, as Overhaul wants to profit from the destruction of Hero society, while Tomura doesn’t. He’s not in for the money. In the following confrontation with Overhaul he’ll agree to join him as long as they won’t work under him as they’ll do what they want, when and how they want.

When confronting Garaki Tomura defines his goal better. He claims he can’t remember his past but he feels his rage boil when he wears his hands… and we’re starting to get better hints about how Tomura’s ‘rage’ is a cover, a reaction, a copying mechanism to Tomura’s suffering, to his trauma of killing his family, to how he wasn’t helped, no Hero coming to save him, how he was abandoned, people not caring about his misery until AFO found him. AFO called it frustration, rage, but it’s actually trauma and pain. Tomura concluded he’ll never feel good again, even if society comes crashing down, even if I rise to rule the underworld, the weight in his heart is never going to go away so he hates everything and wants to destroy everything, thinking this will lead him to a beautiful horizon. It’s at the same time a desperate attempt at destroying what pains him and a request for help, or, at least, a request to be understood because if everyone is miserable like him, his situation will then be ‘normal’. [Chap. 222] At the same time though, he won’t deny his allies the chance to get what they want.

Re-Destro will also question him, asking him what burdens he bears and what does he seeks to build, as all he can see is a hollow man who creates nothing and indulge in destruction. [Chap. 234] Tomura will agree with him that all he can do is destroy. [Chap. 235] He then will claim he views the future (for himself) as unnecessary but he wants the League to live as they see fit [Chap. 237]

Then we’ve Tomura answering to Endeavor who claims he can gather all the power he likes but without ideals, Tomura’s hollow destruction won’t bring down the Heroes. At this Tomura answers his father told him that Heroes hurt their own families just to help complete strangers. He then points out how he always had ideals and explains how Heroes pretended to be society’s guardians, but also how they pretended not to see those they couldn’t protect, sweeping their pain under the rugs, tainting everything they have built, so their system is rotten from inside. It built up little by little, they’ve the common trash dependent on being protected and the brave guardians who created the trash that needs coddling in a corrupt, vicious circle. Tomura claims everything he has witnessed, the whole system they have bult has always rejected him so he’ll reject it too and that’s why he destroy, why he took power for himself. He doesn’t care if they don’t understand, this is what makes them Heroes and Villains. [Chap. 280/281] There’s a tiny bit that I like to consider part of Tomura’s mindset. Midoriya jumps on him (after Tomura has hit Gran Torino) claiming he won’t forgive him and Tomura answer back he won’t forgive anyone either.

The story also begins to imply Tomura wants to destroy all that comes from his birth house. [Chap. 292]

Later Tomura will remind Midoriya they won’t sit down for a chat as he’s his Villain [Chap. 378] which hints at how he gave up on being understood by Heroes. He’s a Villain to them, that’s all there is. Then he’ll claim his heart isn’t wavering and that everything he witnessed in the world lead to the existence of ‘that house’ (as his family house) so as Shigaraki Tomura and Shimura Tenko he only has one hope, to destroy everything connected to that house and that’s the only thing that’s going to save him. [Chap. 379] As Shigaraki himself is connected to that house, this is also a suicidal declaration.

The last bit we have is inside Tomura’s mindscape. Tomura insists the destruction of his family was his own choice because otherwise why does he has such hands? In case someone forgot about it, people connects Quirks with character, even Re-Destro did claim Tomura was only capable of destroying. To cope with what happened, which, at the beginning, HE CLEARLY DIDN’T DO ON PURPOSE (he was actually freaked out and scared and it was only because his father rejected him that he connected the dots that it was him causing destruction and killed his father) he decided it happened due to his own will and used rage as a copying mechanism to deal with his grief. No one helped him and this made matters worse. Tomura accepted being a Villain because society cut him out from its circle and, at the same time, the fact he was a Villain, gave him another group. He couldn’t be All Might, he couldn’t be a Hero for society, but he can be a Hero for the people like him, Villains who were chased out of society and are miserable and rejected. All Tomura has his his pain covered up by his hatred but even if his hatred were to be taken away from him and he were to end up hollow, the ‘Villains’ (aka the people society crushed), needs him to be a Hero for them so he wouldn’t stop because THEY are ‘his society’ a society that stands opposed to Midoriya’s. [Chap. 418]

So where all this leads us?

Tomura is pretty solid in his motive/goal, even if, at the start, he doesn’t know how to verbalize it well. Hero society destroyed him. It twisted his father, it didn’t save Tenko, made Tenko a Villain unworthy of their help (as in refused to help him when he wandered through the city, which Tenko interpreted as rejection due to what he caused to his family), it let him fall prey of AFO so that ultimately Tenko accepted/embraced being a Villain, being Shigaraki Tomura. Society hurt him, it continues to hurt him by merely existing and not caring about him and, in the same way as Midoriya can’t forgive him for hurting the people he cared about Tomura can’t forgive society for hurting him. Tomura knows destroying society WON’T FIX HIM, it won’t make him happy, but it’ll stop extra pain to be thrown at him… or at the other people who are with him which society labels as ‘Villains’. While he doesn’t believe he can be happy destroying everything, himself included, he thinks they might have a chance.

It’s a good motive and one that’s not so common for an antagonist/Villain.

LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A VILLAIN

In the story all it takes is to use your Quirk unauthorized, generally to commit a crime so I think we should probably dig in him being a danger.

Tomura is a work in progress, same as Midoriya, he grows in his Villain role, even though the police makes a big deal of his right from the start. During the war he has gained power and a army and he’s VERY, VERY dangerous.

He’s also someone who plans to destroy society, in the sense he’ll shatter its beliefs in Heroes, it’s faith, so yes, he is a great Villain by the end.

Some think a Villain has solely to be evil, someone who takes pleasure in hurting you, someone you want to see murdered, but I’m not of that group, for me that sort of Villains were the ones of child tales, like the evil witch of Snowcone, the bad wolf of Red riding hood. Different tastes, I guess.

I do like how Tomura is a person, a person society destroyed because originally Tomura wanted to be like All Might and then things went wrong and he became a Villain because ‘all it takes is a single bad day’ (actually a series of bad days in his case but you get what I mean). I like the idea what happened to Tomura could have happened to everyone had they gone through what he went through.

To me it makes him more scary exactly because he isn’t the guy born evil, he’s the guy who was born just fine like any of us but then life twisted him. He’s the warning we can become like him, that we can create him by causing someone to go through what he went through.

And yet Tomura remains human, because even though what he does is terrible, in the end he’s not a monster, he’s just a human like us.

LET’S TALK ABOUT TOMURA AND NINE

The two are similar yet different.

In the short stories its implied Nine knew pain and viewed his men as comrades same as Tomura. However Nine has a Darwinistic idea of how society has to be, with him at the top and strong Quirk users below him but still high in power. This doesn’t necessarily means Villains, Endeavor and All Might have strong Quirks themselves… though of course they wouldn’t agree with Nine’s plan, which will likely set them up for elimination. Nine’s idea is similar to the one of Re-Destro. This means Villains like Spinner, who aren’t lions, don’t have a place in Nine’s project.

On the other side Tomura wants to include in his project all of those who are mistreated by society, strong Quirk or not but his idea of ‘mistreating’ seems rather broad. However Tomura is more of an anarchic, he plans to destroy society but not to rule it, and, as I said in another post, anarchy tends to have short life. Someone will come and take the reins of what Tomura left behind.

Now that someone might have learnt the lesson and create a better society… or he could just be Re-Destro or one of his affiliates and create a different kind of superpower society that still will mistreat someone else.

In itself there’s no such thing as ‘perfect society’, because there are not perfect people.

So there’s not really between them a ‘better Hero for the Villains’ because they’ll go at it differently. Nine plans to rule society, so he’ll be around maintaining his rule, which however will benefit only a certain kind of Villains.

Tomura believes his actions will benefit all the Villains which mistreated by society but doesn’t plan to be around to ensure things will go well AFTERWARD and, even if he were to survive, he thinks his role is merely to destroy what would oppress them.

There’s also something else to say… Nine seems older than Tomura, and he wasn’t kept immature, isolated from people and manipulated like Tomura was at the start. It makes sense he has a better idea of what he wants (especially because in a movie you can’t give him the time to clear his mind), one Tomura will reach with time.

Everything else is a matter of preference.

Even in the Hero camp there’s who prefer Midoriya and who instead thinks Haimawari (the main character from Vigilantes) should have been the main character of BNHA because he’s a better protagonist. At each his own.

To sum it up, yeah, I do think Tomura is a good character (but he could have been better had Horikoshi paid him more care) and a good Villain who can be a Hero for the Villains but that’s just me. If someone prefers Nine to Tomura, that’s fine.

Thanks for your ask and sorry for the late and long reply!

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