#because i've had 2 more people reach out to tell me that they've seen it and messaged my sister to get it taken down!

[qvietspvce]

long post under the cut. i'm writing out a somewhat redacted transcript of the utter BULLSHIT i put up with yesterday

warnings for transphobia, transphobia EVERYWHERE. also, i show my arse here. i'm not a perfect person and my temper got the better of me in a BIG way.

messages in a group chat between sister, mum and me.

[screenshot of a facebook post, posted by [sister]. tagged [deadname]. post reads: I will always cherish these memories of my twin sister and I. Losing my twin sister was the worst pain imaginable, and I'm still very much grieving this. I'm working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person [blue love heart emoji]]

Me (7.16pm): what the fuck is this?

Me (7.19pm): I haven't died. I am still very much alive. I'd appreciate it if you didn't say you were "working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person" and out me to people as transgender without my permission. It shows a flagrant disregard to my privacy and safety.

Me (7.23pm): I am deeply hurt that you are sharing memories from a facebook account I no longer have access to. I'm just completely shocked that you would think this is a kind and fair thing to do to me. Take it down.

Me (7.23pm): Now.

--

Sister (9.02pm): Wtf is wrong with you

Sister (9.05pm): I've not said you've died, I've said I'll always cherish there's (sic) memories. [Deadname] is gone and is never coming back, don't be so selfish and put yourself in someone else's shoes for a change. Out you as transgender? I've not tagged Parker anywhere. You've changed yourself as male legally and have been someone else for years - it's public information

Sister (9.07pm): Look, you have all the time in the world to sit there and argue and be a snowflake

Sister (9.08pm): Fuck off, I want nothing to do with you - you completely selfish cunt

Sister (9.08pm): I just want MY [DEADNAME] back

Me (9.09pm): Are you aware that people are reacting to that post as if I have died? Interesting that you call it selfish to want a modicum of privacy and respect from you. How dare you. How very dare you. I'm aware you haven't tagged me as Parker. I'm aware that for whatever reason you refuse to see me as Parker. You'd rather make up a fuss over [Deadname] than respect me as I am and lash out when you're called out on poor behaviour. I, my personality, hasn't changed. I am still who I have always been except I now use a name, pronouns and body I am comfortable in.

Sister (9.09pm): You have changed

Sister (9.09pm): I'm allowed to grieve

Me (9.10pm): I AM STILL ALIVE

Sister (9.10pm): [Deadname] isn't

Sister (9.10pm): Doesn't exist anymore

Sister (9.11pm): I'm not "[sister's name] the youngest of 5 girls"

Me (9.11pm): YOU NEVER FUCKING WERE

Me (9.11pm): I just didn't have the language to say it!

Sister (9.11pm): It's no longer "I have a twin" "boy or girl"

Sister (9.12pm): You did for 26 years

Me (9.12pm): Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?

Sister (9.12pm): I'm allowed to grieve. I've supported you best I can why don't you try and do the same

Sister (9.13pm): I've had a rough fucking time

Sister (9.13pm): And I'm always there for you when I (sic) need me

Me (9.13pm): You made your fucking bed, now lay in it.

Sister (9.13pm): Just try to be understanding and not offensive

Me (9.13pm): Are you?

Sister (9.13pm): Okay we're done

Me (9.13pm): Are you there for me?

Sister (9.13pm): When you need money?

Sister (9.13pm): Calling you brother

Sister (9.14pm): Me and [ex-boyfriend] have split up and I'm struggling. [Deadname] would've been nice

Sister (9.14pm): You're being a twat

Sister (9.15pm): You spend too much time on the internet

Sister (9.15pm): I don't have time to waste on this

Sister (9.15pm): Dead to me

Me (9.15pm): You don't call me your brother unless you want something. I asked you to help me with Mango in an emergency that was never needed. You ask me to look after your dog when you're getting too drunk you don't even know how you got home. You broke up with [ex-boyfriend] because you couldn't cope with the guilt of emotionally cheating on him. That's on you, not me.

Sister (9.16pm): Not completely accurate

Sister (9.17pm): You're dead to me

Sister (9.18pm): Hope mum is kind enough to keep funding your mentally ill "lifestyle"

--

Sister (9.54pm): You outer (sic) yourself as transgender on my page [5 laughing emojis]

Sister (9.54pm): And turned the blame to me

Sister (9.54pm): Brilliant

Mum (9.56pm): GO WALK

--

Sister (10.04pm): [Person] sent you a screenshot of my Facebook, you accepted my friend request 2 hours ago which I sent to you months if not a year ago just to have a go at me

Sister (10.04pm): And then has been gossiping about me inaccurately

--

Me (10.25pm): I'm only going to say this once. It wasn't [Person] who sent me a screenshot and there's absolutely no way I'm going to tell you who it is. As you happily informed me, it's public information.

Sister (10.26pm): 1) absolute bullshit

Sister (10.26pm): It's her background on the screenshot

Me (10.29pm): So the reason you're angry at [Person] is because the person who sent me the screenshot uses Dark Mode...which is a function that all modern smartphones can use... Okay. I'm not going to have this conversation with you because you sound unwell. Get better, [sister].

Sister (10.30pm): I'm grieving the loss of my twin sister and I'm grieving the end of a relationship. Other than that I'm fine. I've not taken a single day off work, I run a home and business, I eat clean, train, pay my way and contribute to society

Sister (10.31pm): You're the one with every mental illness going

Sister (10.31pm): You are dead to me

Sister (10.31pm): You are done

Sister (10.32pm): I loved [Deadname] more than anything and I will cherish and share my memories

Sister (10.32pm): I hate Parker

-- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- messages in a private chat between sister and me (note the timestamps!)

Sister (11.36pm): Goodbye

Sister (11.36pm): I've said goodbye to [Deadname] she's gone and never coming back

Sister (11.36pm): Now I'm saying goodbye to you

Sister (11.36pm): Don't every (sic) contact me again

Sister (11.36pm): Ever *

[jeff-from-marketing]

Hey it's been a hot minute, I'm gonna go off about Helldivers 2 for a bit, because the whole thing fascinates me.

Funnily enough it's not even the actual game itself that truly fascinates me, as great as it is. I do genuinely think that, while not perfect, it's a very solid game that knows what kind of experience it wants to deliver, and does a fantastic job delivering on it. The Starship Troopers-esque satire is hilarious, and I love how much the gameplay reinforces that satire through things like reinforcements canonically being a whole new Helldiver sent into the meat grinder, and that the mission still counts as a celebrated victory even if you never make it back alive. I could even talk about how the objectively clunky system for calling in orbital support is actually a positive for the game, but only this game and the type of experience it's selling.

But none of that is what fascinates me about this game so much. Because y'see, I played the first Helldivers game, and it was also a great bit of fun! It's actually why I was interested in the second one to begin with. But I also know that the first Helldivers was not a very wide reaching game, none of Arrowhead's games have been. They've not done poorly by any means, they're still in business and have been for over a decade now. But they've always been fairly niche affairs. Until now. To really sell the picture, I wanna rattle off player counts for their previous games:

Magicka in 2011, Arrowhead's first big game and published by Paradox, had an all-time max player count of 11,727 players according to SteamDB. I don't believe it was on any other storefronts, but I could be mistaken. A quick wikipedia visit tells me that the game sold roughly a million units over a year which, again, not bad! Especially for a game that is admittedly fairly unusual, but is a lot of fun!

The Showdown Effect in 2013, which I only just found out about right now after double checking my numbers, had a all time high of just 3,284 according to SteamDB, and is now delisted from Steam. Though apparently there's a remake from another company happening? There's a lot less info on this one in general.

Gauntlet in 2014, this one I do know a bit more about since I also played this one. A remake of the original 1985 game, and was a good bit of fun as well! This one is trickier to get an accurate player count reading, because it did have a PS4 release and those are harder to find numbers for. Regardless, it was also on Steam, so therefore I can use those numbers at least, which gives me a max consecutive player count of 12,730. I don't know how much PS4 factored into this.

And now we get to the real interesting one: Helldivers 1. Again, this is tricky because not only was it on console, but it was actually on console before it was ever on PC, which heavily skews numbers. SteamDB has the peak at just 6,744, but this doesn't sit right with me. I've seen estimates of 50k people around the place, some say 35k, but never a solid source. It's also very difficult to search atm because of how much Helldivers 2 is blowing up. Speaking of...

So Helldivers 1 is their most popular game, and I'll be generous and say that the 50k count is the accurate one. So surely Helldivers 2 can't be that much more- oh I'm not even going to pretend, you already know what's going on here. The game has reached ~450k concurrent players just on Steam alone! And the game also exists on PS5, and if I recall correctly: there's official statements saying that the player counts are roughly equal with each other. That means a peak of ~900,000 individual players. To illustrate how bonkers batshit insane that is, motherfucking Fortnite has a current consecutive player count of roughly one million.

Let me reiterate: a game that came out of basically nowhere with little marketing, from a small studio with only about 100 employees, is rivaling the juggernaut that is fucking Fortnite. That is insane.

As someone who has played all of Arrowhead's previous games besides The Showdown Effect, this is bonkers. There's a reason the sentiment was "there's no way to have predicted this" when the servers were at their worst, because look at the previous data! How is anyone supposed to predict a sequel to a niche game (from a company very few people have heard about) to get a ~1800% increase in max player count? Their initial server capacity was 250k, which would've been very optimistic if you were just going by Helldivers 1 numbers. But then that wasn't enough. And then 360k wasn't enough. And then 450k wasn't enough. We're now at 700k server capacity and just finally getting things under control. This game just exploded in a way no one could have reasonably predicted. And I have no idea why this is the case either.

I'm not saying it's not deserved; it absolutely is! Like I said, game is great, and there's not even any shitty business practices I can bitch at this time! It's just so sudden and out of nowhere that it baffles me. Such a small percentage of these players would've even heard of the first game, let alone played it. It didn't have a massive marketing campaign, this is pretty much all spread through word of mouth, which is insane in its own right. It's not even like the game is entering an untapped market, it shares its existence with games like Deep Rock Galactic, Vermintide, Darktide, the actual Starship Troopers game, probably some others I'm forgetting. And yet, despite all of this, it breached containment something fierce. I don't have a big conclusion to make from all this, I'd love to be able to say "oh people are just getting tired of Triple A- oh I'm sorry, Quadruple A gaming and this is a breath of fresh air" and it is that, as was Baldur's Gate 3, but I'm not naive enough to think that's the main reason. Not when so many other great games continue to go undiscovered, and so many people still end up buying whatever the next big Triple A thing is. It's a great game to play with friends, and there's a lot going for it and a lot of charm, but such is also the case for the other games I already listed in this paragraph and they don't see the same popularity.

Whether it's just dumb fucking luck, or a really oddly specific set of circumstances at play that I can't see, I'm just dumbfounded and flabbergasted. But I'm not exactly gonna complain. It's fun getting sent into the meat grinder to spread Managed Democracy, and I'm glad the game is doing as well as it is, though I do hope that the devs get to have a bit of rest once the dust finally settles a little bit.

[in3rci4]

† ALL OF THEM ALIVE : AFTERMATH HEADCANONS †

Introduction

I asked you guys which Hcs would you like me to write first and you decided the option . The majority of blogs had talked about their own personal Hcs about this AU ! / Possible final where all the boys survived their kidnapper " The Grabber " , so I think it's time I'll do mine too . In this fandom we all wished or thought at least once about this , about the " what if " , and it's interesting how there's some stuff we all agree with and how some would differ depending the person you're asking . But anyways , I shall get to the point and talk about what you stopped reading for

author's note : I'm really sorry for not writing lately , I've been kinda stressed out and with little time to do something like this . Like I said before , I promised than little by little I'll do y'all requests , I didn't forget , so please be patient because soon I'll have the time

Warnings ¡! : Children abuse , SA , VERY long rant , possible misspelling , specific details that might be gruesome , headcanons about future and family situation of each character , suicide , angst , mention of real life killers / predators , homophobia , sexism , etc ... . If you don't agree with the following headcanons then I'm open to discuss yours politely , so now after that been said , enjoy it ^^

¿ How they escaped from " The Grabber " ?

This one is very difficult to decide , since there's a lot of options that can be valid and logical in the context of the movie , so I will make a ranking to most to least " possible " in my opinion :

THE GRABBER HIMSELF LETS THEM GO : Now , I know that knowing this character is based on a pedophile serial killer and IT'S a pedophile serial killer , the possibility of him letting them go sounds not logical at first , but hear me out on this one . The first 2 thoughts that comes in my mind when someone has escaped their kidnapper , is that they escaped when they've killed or ran away when their kidnapper was distracted , or , the very own criminal let them go . Remember the scene when Albert tells Finney that " nothing is going right " or that " he's thinking about letting him go " ? Well , I think that if in another universe they all escaped from him because HE lets them go , either because he was afraid of being caught by the police or his very own sick self that had enough of toying with them ( You imagine what could been " enough " for this psycho ) . The circumstance of them also being discarded as " dead " in the worst physical state is also an option , yet one of the saddest , because this one is where they get to live the worst of the " Naughty boy " game . Some walking back home on their own , some others found by other people that called the authorities for help

MAX HELPS THE KIDS TO ESCAPE : this crackhead seems to be smart on his own way , but way too fucked up with drugs to reach his full sane and clean potential , yet , on the movie , he figures his brother out , but he unfortunately dies by the hand of his very own blood . But , if Albert did went to work , I believe he would ramble a little about how it made sense , on how he didn't figure out sooner , etc . Soon the plead of the kids of letting them go makes him go back half on his senses , and he either calls the police and tells the kids to search on the house more about his brother in order to have more proofs against him ( Yes , this sounds dumb but justice sometimes don't do what they have to do ) or either takes all of them to the police station right away , proud of himself because HE DID found the kids , but of course , little does he know that he won't and will never get the credit for it .

SAME BASEMENT , DIFFERENT ROOMS : This one that I've seen more repeating on the people on the fandom , and I guess I understand why . There's 2 possibilities in each instance : The place , the victim who knocks out the Grabber and the final state of the kidnapper . If if we're talking about the place , it ain't something impossible for a house to have a immense basement under it with multiple rooms and stuff . Albert Shaw is based on Jhon Wayne Gacey , a pedophile homosexual serial killer that also did "children entertainment " gestures and had also like work construction business , this man hide the bodies of his victims under his house , on his backyard and in another house apart from where he lived ( Josef Fritzl can be also compared to this killer too , this man build a basement specially to SA his own daughter and have incestuous children with her that maintained them from escaping ) . A sick twisted mind that build a basement JUST to SA poor boys that had the bad luck of encounter him . That , or the "Naughty boy " game takes place in different locations , the first part , under his house basement , the one that we see on the movie , the second , somewhere else , a basement that who knows what happened or who created such thing with soundproofed rooms that has a black phone united to the next room , the boys , prisoners of a masked human devil that checked that all the telephones were disconnected or broken , but they make it work , and create a plan to take down their tormentor . The idea of all of them taking him down at the same time sounds cool and almost relieving , as all the victims participate on fighting against their predator , but if you prefer more the idea of Finney being the boy who takes down The Grabber , then the final plan is him setting the others free after being done with him . And depending on how possible you may think an option or other is , The Grabber gets killed by all his victims , or survives , and is arrested ... Not allowing the cycle of pain to end for the kids

UNKNOWN PREVIOUS VICTIMS GHOSTS : I admit I don't really know if the creators / writers or whatever said something about this before , but this man killed 5 kids and its hinted on the book that he had also kidnapped more , we only know about this kids on the movie because of Finney's perspective and Gwen's dreams ( Except Griffin Stagg ) , but what if there was more somewhere else in another state / town ? What if instead of only one child having an spiritual gift we had 6 trapped children that got kidnapped in a haunted building of previous victims of The Grabber ? Perhaps all of them being able to contact the Spiritual world but not knowing until they were taken by a crazy man ? That would be not only cool in my opinion to see in a movie ( it would be really interesting to see how differently they would react to ghosts ) but it can be something possible in the context of the movie and / or in the " The Shinning" universe ( non confirmed to be cannon it's just a theory )

THE POLICE SOLVING THE CASE : Look , we all know sometimes police it's more useless and dangerous that what they supposed to be , BUT , if we are talking about the most possibles " what if " , I think that maybe , in this particular case , in another universe the detectives ( I don't remember their names , I think maybe Mr Wright and Mr Miller ? ) figure out fast enough to solve the case and save the kids ( Tbh Gwenny did so much more for her brother and those kids than the police did on the movie , and she's just a child that didn't got credit for being the most important person on the case ) so if we didn't have Gwen's psychic abilities and we're on a non paranormal context of the movie , sooner or later killers are discovered , either because lack of self awareness or because they wanted to be recognized , and usually sexual predators tend to lack self awareness the more they get " confident " ( ik fucking disgusting ) . If the they did the same Max's reasoning , I believe that they could have the luck to say " that the help came " ( Again , I believe this possiblity of police figuring Albert Shaw sounds reasonable , but doing it on time , that's a 40/60 , 40% they got before any SA or death happened , 60% that something bad already happened when they got to arrest Albert Shaw " The Grabber" )

THE VERY OWN KIDS ESCAPE BY THEIR OWN : All of this are possibilities , even if it's on the lowest of the ranking , it is still something that could happened , but for me , it's a very low chance of it actually happening . I know cases of children and teenagers escaping and saving others from killers / kidnappers , but if the whole movie happened , it was because no matter how "popular " or " strong " they were , they were still kids / young teens against a grown ass adult twice their weight and height . But my point is , if they did escaped on their own without interacting while being captive with others victims , then The Grabber definitely cannot commit his crimes on the same place / in one of his houses . As I see it on this option , if they did escaped , they did it like the way they tried and died for ( Billy breaks a window , Griffin escapes on a moment of distraction , Vance escapes by getting into another room that helps him to exit , Bruce perhaps instead of digging himself a tunnel finds a trapdoor that leads to a tunnel . Idk what to think as a escape route for Robin or Finney , perhaps Robin had to actually get into a fight with the Grabber and started to get chased but he manages to escape , maybe Finney waits enough time to observe and makes a whole plan to escape and call the police on Albert's absence ) . Idk if they would be able to tell who is their captor or not , but I'm sure that in this last option , The Grabber definitely gets arrested or " learns from his mistakes " to " get better " at kidnapping children .

¿ Do they stick together after all the trauma ?

I believe it's a 50/50 , I can see both options being possible if all or some of the victims survived

WHY IT'S POSSIBLE : Nobody would understand the pain and trauma that they been through better than them as a group , not the police , not the reporters , not their friends , not their families , not the child therapists , only them . Unconsciously would still be on alert mode and seek for their and the others safety , possibly being more protective or snap back at those who try to bother them or another boy , and if we follow the " Same basement , different rooms " option , they feel like they're in debt with the others for helping / saving their life , making a sort of friendship / comfort bond with the other boys . A friendship that could be intact for years even after they are living their own lives or are far away from each other

BUT AT THE SAME TIME : Seeing the others is a constant remind of what they been through , wich it could result in them drifting apart from each other to avoid the memories coming back at them . Perhaps some will even resent others , blaming them without knowing why , be mad that they told the police / other people what they been through and now everyone knows they also been SA or physically abused , frustrated that people or the own victims boys search them asking about what happened or how they feel after " it's all over " . If they didn't killed Albert or help the other to escape , then the anger for not being able to finish him or be left behind would also increase the discordance between each other

¿ Would they be able to go back to their normal lives ?

I'm sorry but again , I'll think it's a 50/50 thing , or well , more like a 40/60 thing . They of course , after so much trauma in their heads they will need time to get over or deal with it , but some will have more support than others and that's a fact . They can't erase the past , but some of them would not have the same tools to deal with it in a healthy way ( Personal opinion : none would be able to cope in a healthy way . We're talking about boys that been possibly SA with physical and mental damage from living such situation as kidnapping and being captive against their will . Homophobia was 6x worse in the 70's , even if nothing was their fault , there's always people that would make them feel like shit for " not standing up " or " letting it happen" , questioning their sexuality or " if they liked it " or if they " search that " . Media would definitely not help this situation at all )

So in a ranking of who I personally think would be able to manage to " come back to normal" in their lives to " fastest to slowest " or have more support would be :

BRUCE YAMADA : His family and popularity would make him the one gets more empathy from the people in town , not like the others won't get it at all , but he definitely would have the odds more on his favor . His parents are wealthy enough to pay him a therapist or seek a doctor that helps him to cover his scars , anything that he asks or needs to feel better . People , let's be honest , would sympathize more with him than before and would even get it from those that before didn't like him that much . Yet , it would take him time to get back on his normal rhythm , baseball would be more difficult due how much muscular strength he lost while being captive , parties would overwhelmed him , and he would not like going out by himself , always needing someone on his side . Luckily , he would be on shape in a few months , hanging out in small parties and slowly but surely , being on his own on the streets . All though , he makes sure that his friends , baseball buddies or the people that hangs up with him in general didn't dare to bring the subject of him , the others or The Grabber on his presence , he doesn't want to start a unnecessary discussion or stop talking to them for their loud mouths ...

BILLY SHOWALTER : Everybody recognized his face before and after he went missing , but this time it was different , the look in the eyes of people that he came across with wasn't indifferent or the regular polite ones , now they would speak for the person louder than their voice did , they tried to hide it , but the pity was something that the look in their eyes didn't lie about . Nobody said or told him nothing , but he knew , Billy knew that everybody knew , and it made him a little bit paranoid ¿ How much did they knew about what happened ? He stopped delivering papers after seeing his face and the others in it , stopped watching TV for a while until the news of his " case " would disappear , his family thought it would be a good idea to take more trips to his grandparents house or outside the home general , like camping , lakes , family cookouts , etc . Little by little he would gain a little bit more confidence on himself , but he would need to isolate himself from the people to get a bit of peace of mind and be back to " the real world " . Sometimes frustration of not being able to erase people's memories of him as the kidnapped kid would get him , but he'll suppressed it , as well as he can , just like him trying to not get alarmed by his dog barks ...

FINNEY BLAKE : He's for sure got his back covered by his sister Gwen before , now and forever , their bond was always strong and it became even stronger after he went missing . After surviving The Grabber the bullying stopped since he was THAT kid who survived the The Grabber , making him be in peace for a good amount of time on high school , although when it all calmed down , some or other dude would call him names , but it wasn't like he would get beaten for it , and if they tried to , he wasn't scared to throw a punch to shut them up . I do believe that Terrance tried to change for his son and daughter , but even then , the damage was already done , there's was no more violence or alcohol smell in the house , but there was no deep connection between him and his kids . Sometimes his father would accidentally make a loud noise and he would flinch or jump on his place , to later realize it wasn't nothing . And if his father kept his same attitude that he had before he was taken , Finney wouldn't take any more shit from him anymore . As a generational curse , father and son would get into heated discussions , discussions where Finney would dare him to hit him or Gwenny , just once , for him to see what'll do to his father if he did . So , if we expect the good development , I think he will sometimes get to live a somehow normal life with ups and downs , the last ones being the hardest times if they clicked something from the past , but usually being able to compose himself , if his dad doesn't help his recovery to normalcy , then he might slowly loose little by little the calmness in him and isolate himself to avoid problems , like before ..

ROBIN ARELLANO : His mother was ecstatic when she heard her that her child didn't die like her husband , giving him a big hug that was full of pleading for forgiveness and thanking God for bringing Robin back home alive , as well his uncle , who waited for her to to finish to hug his nephew too . He would get child treatment for a long time , his mother would make him a lot of his favorite food for him to gain weight and pepper him with kisses and cheesy nicknames that he didn't heard since he was a toddler , his uncle giving him more gifts than before as well as doing the impossible to make space on his work schedule and drive him the way to and back from school . At first Robin didn't complain , why would he ? He would lie if he says he didn't missed his family and the affection he receives from them , but as time passed and he tried to "get over it " and go back to normal , he noticed how much those actions made him feel weak and useless . He asked his mother to stop treating him like a child and his uncle to let him walk by himself like before , wich lead her mother to be confused of why he wouldn't like what she does and , for the first time on his life , he having an argument with his uncle about what's safe or what he needs . School was still difficult for him to understand , Robin felt like everything changed since he left and now he's more close to suspending than before , thankfully he got a tutor teacher that is just as good and understanding like Finney . The kids still respect him as one of the toughest in school , even the ones that were waiting for an opportunity to fight him didn't want to face him , but that made him angry , how he's supposed to let all this pent up frustration now ? He didn't see this as respect , he felt this as pity , they consider him not in condition to fight , he escaped the god damn Grabber for fucks sake ! He hates it , the feeling of vulnerability not leaving after escaping that cold basement . He'll try to keep a low profile and try his best to avoid talking to people , keep his cool , but hearing his uncle talk about the fight he had on his work with his mother because some coworker called his nephew a faggot , made this feeling of vulnerability turn into disgust ... Disgust by himself , which lead him into a depression and isolation period of time that he would only get over after a year or an a half . Later , he would tell himself that what happened made him stronger , and that's part of him now , hyping himself up as well as he can , because toxic masculinity won't go just because of him ..

GRIFFIN STAGG : He only has his mother for support and some other adults that felt compassion towards him , after all , he survived a huge cut on his throat that didn't let him talk freely like before . He had to learn sign languages along with deaf and / or mute kids , they were friendly , and even if he was a little bit doubtful of the idea of making friends , he found himself comfortable with them . He hated it , how even in hot weather he had to cover his neck , how he went to invisible to have the entire school eyes on him and his name known for every kid in Colorado , and not for good . For a long time doctors told him to had certain soft food diet until his throat got better , so the frustration of not being able to talk or eat freely made him isolate himself or shut himself down . His mother took him to a child therapist and it certainly helped him , just not enough to say he's happier . The only good thing he sees on all of this is that he's better at school and learned to be more focused , because the part of him not being able to talk back and be like a walking ghost of flesh and bones was definitely not the good one ...

VANCE HOPPER : The actor of this character said that his background or house life is definitely not good or supportive , specially coming from his father . I headcanon that this kid had the misfortune to have the worst type of men as his dad : aggressive , abusive , toxic and definitely not the most open minded either . I also think his mother is much of a submissive woman who accepted her fate and is way too scared to do something against her husband , which results into her not standing up for her son when he gets beat up or yelled at . Even he hates his old man with all his heart , he unconsciously became similar to him in thinking and bad temper . I also think either because of his mother or his father contacts ( not in the rich kind of way , its either because his own father works there or one of the two knows someone inside the police force ) he would set free of jail and not being sent to a juvenile rehabilitation center . After what he been through , his hate towards the world and life would increase even more , because he was the exception of out the 6 boys , the only one that the police didn't care to find and kids were grateful he was gone , that his own father was grateful that he "escaped " from his house , but his mother knew that it wasn't like that . He would feel that everyone thought he searched what happened to him , that everyone stopped fearing him to be disgusted by him , it would take a slight insult or wrong look for him to explode and beat the person . He felt conflicted , and didn't know where to go to feel better outside the mall with a pinball machine , teachers still saw him as the outcast , his " friends " didn't feel comfortable being around Vance anymore and the therapy costed way too much , or well , too much for his dad opinion . He would get into trouble more often than before , but no one would say something , they would resort to just to avoid him like an rabid dog , just like before he guess . If he's by himself , he would grow up hating himself and projecting that hate towards others , not to say that his father stopped beating his ass , but the venomous comments shamming him for what happened didn't , to the point Vance wished he was just straight beaten up like before instead of hearing those awful words every day ..

¿ What if The Grabber and the children are taken to the court of law ?

I don't think I saw people talking about this or maybe someone did but I never encounter their opinion before , but let's just say they escaped either by A or B and Albert is not killed but arrested , you know how painful would be for the boys to live the whole process until his sentence is dictated ? The constant interview with the police , the television transmitting everything , the lawyer and fake witnesses in Albert Shaw's favor , etc .

We have the Yamada and Showalter family , the Yamada family will try to get every contact to help them win the case , the best lawyers possible in the name of their son and if it's allowed , the other children too . The Showalter family would ask every neighbor in Denver to speak in favor of the children and would definitely do everything on their power to make the country know what injustice would be made if they give a monster like Albert Shaw a lower punishment that he deserves , for the people to not believe what the witnesses says and his " good man " facade and think about their children , probably with the television or radio stations help . The Arellano family would try to to avoid the public eye just like Mr Blake ( Terrance ) , unless the police , media or the court made a difference with Robin because he's hispanic , then they , specially his mother Mrs Arellano , would expose with all the tools they could get access to , the people who disrespects Robin . Terrance would try his best to not interfere with the legal process , but if someone ever tried to blame Finney for defending himself he would get physically violent , and I believe to avoid this impulsivity to happen , he would try his best not to see Albert Shaw's face and make it worse for his son . Mrs Stagg I believe would not want at first her son to live through the whole process and would have her son's mental health as priority first , but seeing that it would be more harmful than beneficial , she would be by Griffin's side until it's all over or at least that horrible man gets what he deserves . Hopper's family though , expect bad things to happen with this family . The father Mr Hopper if offered money , wouldn't care that the man that harmed his son was set free and could even force Vance to step aside of the whole legal process , or maybe not accepting money , but definitely enjoying the attention that the reporters gives him everytime they tried to speak to him for more information . The mother , Mrs Hopper does want justice for her child , but isn't sure how to help him without making her husband mad or messing up things , but she would definitely take the courage to testify against the disgusting person of name Albert Shaw , even she doesn't know if what she's doing will bring her consequences , since Albert's lawyer accused them of being involved with police corruption .

I think all of them would collaborate as much as possible for the life imprisonment to be dictated for " The Grabber " , repeating their testimony as many times as necessary , even if they feel ashamed if any SA happened and would take them a timespan to open up to the detectives and the court .

¿ Would they tell their friends or family what happened ? ¿ How they would continue their lives ?

Definitely it's different on each case / boy , and we're definitely not on the same line as before with the law happening because once dead , the only thing left of " The Grabber " is the damage he caused in these boys . The police demands their testimony , they get it , and it's over , but what the details they don't release on public ? Would the boys tell those closed to them what exactly happened underground with that man ?

Those details : Paranormal activity , Gwendolyn Blake / Max Shaw participation , starvation , dehydration , the state of the kids the moment they're found ( Dirty , bloody , skinny , with dry white lips , perhaps with missing pair of clothes ) , SA towards the missing children

VANCE HOPPER : If possible , he would keep every detail to himself , internalized homophobia and sexism would live with him as he grows up to be a volatile man that would have a hard time trusting other people and keeping his job . Would rely on drinking or physical violence to cope the trauma , definitely isolating himself , perhaps changing Pinball for gambling machines . In a very heated period of life , he may consider suicide or commit illegal acts

BRUCE YAMADA : Asked his parents to not let anything come out of the police station that wasn't already said on TV , his parents asked him why , but he only told them to do it for him . Would deny or avoid talking about what happened focusing to become the baseball player he always dreamed to be . It isn't until one day , as a already famous hitter of strikes , in a interview a reporter asks him if any SA happened during his time captive by the criminal " The Grabber " . Bruce couldn't stop his hands from trembling and his voice to stutter after the interview . This would make him have panic and anxiety attacks , fearing the public eye as he never did before , but the more you try to run away from your past , the past gets closer to catch you as time goes by . After a while , he feels like it's to time to tell the truth , and Bruce gets enough confidence and courage to speak on the media that yes , he was sexually abused by a man that kidnapped him when he was a teen , that felt that he should hide it if he wanted to be a baseball star , because society makes the SA victims feel guilty for what they live through even if it's not their fault , specially men , that either are ignored or ridiculed , treated as trash or unworthy of empathy . This would had a huge impact on the media , but also would help people to question their beliefs and speak for their experiences . When he got the permission to open a foundation for abused children and teenagers , he felt that invisible weight on his chest get lighter . The letters of fans that have been abused thanking him for speaking out loud his experience made him cry on the privacy of his house ...

GRIFFIN STAGG : Would only tell his mother if she persisted once and never talk about it again , and since Griffin's therapist died of old age , he wouldn't want any other to have a session with , wich meant he'll never tell anyone about it . He grows up to accept jobs that he changes once a while when the money ain't for him to pay the bills , like being a librarian or a janitor of different buildings , his frustrated dream of being a veterinarian would from to time to time make him feel sad about it , but he'll comfort himself by saying that at least he has enough to live good . Well , good it's what doctors say , because he's tired of the constant medical visits for his vocals and throat to be checked . It's not like a miracle would and he suddenly was healed completely and capable of speaking . It's just the same old routine since... That ...

ROBIN ARELLANO : If possible , he would deny everything that happened to him if his family wants to know " the truth " . The truth is that he tries to move on and forget , but until he gets on his period of life with confidence and cool persona back , he would feel like the worst shit ever . He grows up and gets some of his old normalcy back , the horror movies though ? Not his favorite type anymore . I believe he probably wants to become a soldier like his father , but ends up being a fire fighter or part of a rescue team , but at an adult age , because his youth would have tons of low wage jobs due his inexperience and origin . Would only confess a single time to someone that confessed to lived something similar has him , to make them know they have his support and they're not alone .

FINNEY BLAKE : Would only confess this as an adult on a dinner with his sister , breaking down , rambling nonsense that would stop once Gwen stands up from the table and hugs her big brother , rubbing his back in a attempt to comfort him . He definitely works hard to be part of the NASA workers , although as time goes by , he realizes that being astronaut was a huge responsability and demanding , and he prefers to stay as a spaceship engineer . If some collegue or superior tried to talk with him about his time being captive on the basement , he would politely ask them to change the subject of the conversation , if they persistent he would find an excuse to leave and " go back to work " . Maybe if he did choose the astronaut profession this wouldn't happened ...

BILLY SHOWALTER : If the police didn't let the people know , he would take all his memories to the grave , maybe write them if he feels the need to vent . Doesn't matter who asks , he would always deny , decline and avoid any exchange about what happened on the 78' . He wanted to become a reporter or with enough luck a businesses man , but due the circumstances he prefers to be a low profile mechanic , little does he know that one day he'll become the most expensive race cars mechanic , meeting a lot of famous people that some would become close to him . The world would only know what Billy went through once they found a notebook were every dark , depressing and specific details was written on those old pages of paper .

[animehouse-moe]

Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 Episode 5: Hidden Inventory 5

This ending scene for the episode captures arguably my biggest frustration ever. They nailed the character designs here. They got them just right, making subtle adjustments to the ones from S1 to bring them closer to the manga style. They look great, even in the new art style. So then why, pray tell, does Mappa struggle so greatly with the designs and facial expressions of this episode to the point that it can entirely misconstrue characters? I'm not really sure, but thankfully I'll have a two week break to mentally prepare for Shibuya's adaptation after what's gone on here.

Unsurprisingly, I have a lot of gripes with this episode. I say unsurprisingly because Gosso storyboarded for it, but the part that does get me is that the episode director is Jun (sometimes seen written as Atsushi?) Nakagawa. They've done some really solid episodes for Ousama Ranking (which is where they would have come into contact with Gosso), alongside stuff like Akiba Maid War. Regardless, the point is that Gosso's style as the lead director and storyboarder overrides the sensibilities of Nakagawa's direction and produces something decidedly different.

I think the easiest example is the use of space in the episode. Sometimes it's great, other times.... you're left wondering what's up.

Like this sequence, it's a bit of a two-in-one. The first being that with the space it doesn't really look that great, because well, it's just sorta an empty scene devoid of any details or importance with a distant Gojo as the focal point as we look from Geto's perspective.

It's one of those things that's on the tails of discovering greatness, sadly. Looking from Geto's perspective, and seeing Gojo so far away. It's a great idea, except for the fact that it's not balanced. Take a look at the manga panel it's meant to compare to. It switches out Geto's downward gaze for distance, which works well, but does nothing to address Gojo's proximity and levity.

The whole point is how distant Geto feels to Gojo, but that Gojo has none of that to him. What we're shown is a one-sided affair in the anime, that really had potential to go and one-up the manga but stopped halfway through and called it done.

Now, moving on to a similar story in the so-close-yet-so-far territory: Geto's monologue. I still despise them for shifting such important dialogue to episode 1, especially considering they feel comfortable re-using it here. What I hate even more than that though is the fact that they discard the most important pieces visually.

I don't mind the idea of him being on a train and through his monologue the crowd around him growing to show his feeling of suffocation, but it's just so divorced from the action of him ingesting the curses of humanity, the evil born from the masses. I especially despise it because they entirely erase the disgust painted on Geto's face in the manga.

I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a total erasure of Geto's most pivotal moment as a character, but it does try to weaken it considerably in how it approaches it.

Now, just to touch on something good for a second. The idea behind how Geto's mind wanders in the shower is well done. No two ways about it. The idea borrows from the manga and extrapolates it impressively well. The idea of the water from the shower turning into applause is well executed and fits the scene just right.

But that's about where my praise for the scene ends, because good old Mappa steps up to the plate. I'm sure plenty of other people have caught it, and I'm sure I've said it at least once or twice, but Mappa is reaching a convergence point with their art and coloring, the origin/core of it being Chainsaw Man. It's pretty incredible to have scenes adapted from such a stylistically unique manga end up looking laughably alike a totally different anime.

Especially when it's so disparate to the manga. It just plain hurts to see them entirely unable to capture Geto's character for whatever reason. It's not even about the hair at this point, rather it's just the eyes. The way it's a downcast expression rather than a gaze that looks out into nothing. The difference in thought and feel that it provides is just something else.

Really though, this episode completely forgoes Geto's internal struggle and replaces it with aimless depression. Rather than his struggle with right and wrong, what should and shouldn't be, it's just "Geto's sad". It's such a weird change that I can't begin to understand. He doesn't express depression or sorrow in the manga. It's frustration, confusion, hatred. Negative emotions that he ascribes to both normal humans and the Jujutsu world. It's the entire basis for his hate, not the words that Yuki Tsukumo gave him. Those are simply the catalyst for his choices, but they are ultimately his and his alone.

Speaking of Yuki, what the hell happened Mappa? Apparently new characters/designs are just on the chopping block for this season? Sure, you can easily ignore the proportion differences here and there, but the hair? Just a totally different style, for zero reason. Also? Weird decision with the closing where it is now skintight and form fitted rather than the more accurate (and far more normal/less sexual) style Yuki sports in the manga.

Also on the topic of Yuki/Geto, they erased the involvement of this panel for, you guessed it, the use of space. I don't know if I have to even say it, but I will: it's a continuation of the removal of Geto's character and the shallow reconstruction that takes place. Geto's still on edge, he's still his wary and aloof self that carries a sharp gaze. But that's of course nowhere to be found in the anime.

And then there's whatever this is. Geto looks desperate, he looks like he's fishing for justification, for praise and kindness. Manga Geto on the other hand? He's engaging in some classic self-deprecation. He's finding ways to hurt and discredit himself as he's stuck in a swirl of emotions and thoughts. Also, anime geto's hair just sorta sucks.

It's almost funny how painfully similar JJK and CSM's adaptations come in terms of line art, colors and shading, and just overall design. I think the environment art is about the only thing in this image that would give people the inkling that it's not CSM (if they hadn't seen JJK before).

Anyways, another good thing! Wow, so many today (I say, in jest). The use of superimposition for exposition. Overall, I'd probably say unironically that the exposition of the story is the best handled aspect in all of these 5 episodes. I'm not kidding. And it's because it has effectively free reign. There's no rules to how you'd explain something, so long as it fits. Though I'd say this episode in particular has the most creative uses of it.

Back to basics though. Poor Geto. I love his character so much. I love his story arc through Hidden Inventory so much. And it's just sort of toyed with. They ignore every piece of visual importance for his character and instead impose their own weird interpretations and executions upon it. Geto's supposed to be shocked here, he's supposed to be afraid of someone voicing the sentiments that he's had. He's afraid of that side of himself, that a piece of what Gojo left in the Star Plasma Church may appear in him. He saw it, and as much as he understands that side, he doesn't want it at this junction.

The easiest way to explain it might be how someone acts in frustration. "Oh I could just hit this person!", says Person A. Person B responds with, "Then do it. You're justified". It obviously creates a rift in logic where the frustration and rage that is on display is being used as a vent rather than as a tool. And that's what's happening with Geto right now. He's venting, he's expressing his hatred in a non-committal way that has hardly even bubbled up to the surface. But then Yuki Tsukumo arrives and tells him that she's seriously considered killing all non-sorcerers because it's easier.

Hell, the whole idea of Geto's shock at Yuki's statement is collected in his uncertainty about how he views non-sorcerers. It's something he has no side in currently. It's something that he doesn't understand fully. Yuki has not flipped a switch, she has done nothing to Geto at this point aside from forcing him to explore the darker parts of his heart.

Anyways, the conversation comes and goes and this pointlessly goofy bit of Yuki leaving on her motorcycle appears. Seriously, what's the point in slowly rolling out of frame not once, but twice?

I really struggle at times to understand what it is this staff team sees as significant vs insignificant in terms of adaptation and importance. Because really, they replaced Geto's reaction to such an important turning piece in his character with Yuki just sorta gliding by in frame. I'm not even kidding. I'm not really gonna complain about not seeing the dejection in his face in the following scene, but I'll just say that Gosso's vision and approach alongside Nakagawa's influence here really stifles a lot of the core sentiment in regards to characterization for people like Geto. A sense of space and visual consistency is proving more important than presenting the best version of a character.

Also, Yuki's sorta of grinning in the anime? While telling Geto, and fully knowing, that what he and Gojo did was for nothing. That Riko died for nothing. And in the anime they paint her with a more cheery demeanor.

Honestly, I'm already getting tired of pointing out all the easily solvable issues with this episode, but we still haven't reached the highest point, so I'm just going to skip there and call it a day.

Gojo and Geto. The untouchable one, and the one forced to take on the sins of humanity. Opposites that once represented a whole.

And they just sort of ruined it. There's a chance that people haven't caught the significance of what Gege did here, so let me explain. They're supposed to start off head to head because they're challenging one another. They're testing the waters to see where one stands in comparison to the other. That's the whole point, having Geto not even face Gojo is just a failure in that regard. What I hate even more is that they still understood the assignment. They understand that the roles in this sequence are reversed, so rather like the previous episode that had Gojo on the right and Geto on the left, this time their sides are reversed.

They get it, they can understand these pieces, but continue to choose to misrepresent what it is that's going on here. Gojo didn't give up on Geto in the previous episode, and it's not until the end of the argument in this episode that Geto gives up on Gojo. It's such a simple thing to grasp but they choose to deny that aspect of the characters for a reason that I simply can't understand.

And that's not even talking about the brutal expressions that they give Geto (and Gojo) here. I should have known what to expect with how the prior episode was handled, but I foolishly held onto hope.

Anyways, here's an angry/shocked Gojo from the anime, I guess. Yeah, I don't know either.

I don't even know if I want to continue this into Shibuya, really. It's not that it's hard or whatever else, it's just draining. It's draining to point out a mountain of flaws that are self-inflicted, with zero reason or purpose. I struggle to call a lot of this JJK when I compare it to the manga, season 1, or the movie. There's just so much that it deviates from. The art style, the character designs, the animation choices (bar a few incredible efforts), and even things like the soundtrack. I mean, they put one of the more upbeat and JJK-sounding tracks over Satosugu's breakup. I just lack the energy to continue to show how the anime fails to live up to a meaningful amount of the manga. Thankfully we've got a two week break coming up, so I might find the means or reason to recharge to come back for Shibuya.

[cannibalcoyote]

Woodland Princess Ch.9: Memories

Ch.8 Ch.10

Lord Elrond had led Raerthar and I back to Rivendell. When we got there Raerthar and I both stared at the overview of it.

I was remembering how my father would sometimes send me here if he needed alone time to think, or if he found himself incapable of keeping me safe from a threat against his kingdom.

I now started to realize how much I missed my father, even though he seemed cold, he was quite caring and made sure we did what was right. I missed Legolas too, he could be cold like our father but he always was easier to make happy.

Now when I think about it, my father raised us very differently. When Legolas was a kid he had a loving mother and a caring father who always had a soft spot for him, but when I was raised I only knew my mother when I was very young before she died in battle.

After that, father became very cold and reserved, even towards me who he used to spoil with gifts and kindness.

He tried though, he really did, but he usually sent me over here when he couldn't deal with me or when he didn't want to be near me because as he said, "You look too much like your mother."

"I know it's been a while, but I've only ever seen you cry twice. This is the second time." Voiced Lord Elrond from beside me.

I quickly reached up with my hand and wiped it under my eyes.

'I shouldn't be crying, after all I'll see my family after this if my father hasn't banished me for leaving his kingdom unauthorized', I thought to myself before Raerthar began to walk to Rivendell.

Lord Elrond followed close behind, thinking to himself.

'I can read her thoughts as she can read mine, she was thinking about her father and how much she misses him. I always thought she would miss her brother more because he was more affectionate, but it's her father. I really should tell him about her being here, and I will but only after they've been gone for 2 days. That seems reasonable.'

We walk to Rivendell in silence, the guards have slightly encircled around myself and Lord Elrond seeing as we are the royalty in this group. As soon as we arrive the guards move forward and circle my company who stand in the center of the clearing.

Lord Elrond dismounts and greets Mithrandir while he orders a guard to take Raerthar to a stall but then quickly remembers how I said she hates small spaces and tells him to instead release her among the open pastures.

After he has the other elves leave everyone to the dining room he quickly comes over and hugs me. I hug him back, not letting any tears fall from my eyes as I look upon Rivendell.

"Aelsar if you really want to you can just skip the dinner, I remember how you are about eating alone in your room reading your books and writing your stories."

"I think I'll just go to the pasture and hang out with Raerthar. Not really that hungry." I say to Lord Elrond before going to get dinner so I can get back to Raerthar.

_______

I sat in the pasture, with Raerthar for mainly the rest of the day.

'Aelsar, you should go and feast with the rest of your kin. I'll be fine.' Spoke Raerthar as she was worried on how little I had been eating over the past few days.

'Now it will take awhile for you to get back into the flow of everything here, but you must go and socialize. The only people you've had an actual conversation with is Gandalf and I. You've been mostly quiet after the day Thorin yelled at you during the battle. I know you must be angry but you must go and see your friends. They will be worried about you.' Emphasized Raerthar as she nudged me towards Rivendell from within the pasture.

'Fine. I will go and have dinner with them, but if I don't like it I'm leaving.' Replied Aelsar in an understanding tone.

'Deal.' Replied Raerthar as she then used her magic to place Aelsar on her back, and then galloped towards Rivendell.

We reached the edge of the pasture which had a small walkway of stone and jewels that led out of the stables and towards the dining hall.

I silently slipped off Raerthar's back, saying goodbye and began walking down the path. It led me through a beautiful stone stable with a soft sandy ground.

As I reached the outside I saw the path that led to the dining hall. However I didn't want to disturb anyone or enter the room and gain their attention so I took a secret passageway that only Lord Elrond and I knew about.

The secret passage was hidden behind a tapestry which I simply pushed out of the way and walked through the stone corridor. At the end of the passageway there was a sharp turn and a statue which you simply pushed forward and it moved forward for it to move forward, and out of the way.

Ch.8 Ch.10

@tigereyesf

[artistic-argonian]

So I watched season 2 of She-Ra today and I need to talk about this.

Of course, some spoilers for She-Ra season 2 below the cut. I don't intend to make many posts like this, if any more at all, but I almost cried at a cartoon today and it caught me off guard so here we are writing an essay.

So, as you've read in the title I binged the entire second season today and I knew this show would get me emotional and hit hard going in, but one thing I did NOT expect was to find myself getting emotional this early on due to relating so hard to a character, that being the (so far) best girl: Scorpia.

Ever since her introduction I've loved Scorpia as a character, I've always been a fan of gentle giants who are super friendly but also can kick ass when necessary, and I enjoy her dynamic with Catra and the other Horde soldiers. I like how despite working with the villains she tries to be a good friend and be there for people she cares about, and when I got to the episode, "White Out", I got hit by an unexpected brick of relatability right in the feels.

In the episode we see how Scorpia tries and fails to bond with Catra, who's not too interested as she focuses on the mission and her own emotional baggage, which results in her becoming insecure about their relationship. Later on when she's stuck with Adora, she's jealous and frustrated by how well the latter knows Catra with the two having grown up together in The Horde, feeling that she can't compete with that. She wants Catra to lower her guard and let her in but it's not happening no matter what she does. She loves her and wants her to know she's there for her, but feels like she can't have the kind of connection Adora had with her. This is further explored in her conversation with Sea Hawk, who's got similar issues with feeling insecure in his own relationship with Mermista.

It was during this scene that I found myself actually getting teary-eyed and audibly saying to myself, "Why do I relate so much to this? I didn't expect to feel this way about a frickin' scorpion lady!" And the reason why is because, though not to the same extent or in exactly the same way (I read it as Scorpia possibly having a crush on Catra as well,) in some ways I've been where she is in that scene emotionally. I've had times where I've felt like I want to be close with someone and be there for them, but also like I can't compare to other people in their lives who've been around longer than me. And while I didn't and don't feel neglected like Scorpia does, I'm someone who is (or at least tries to be) very loyal to my friends, and makes an effort to let them know how much I appreciate them whenever I get the opportunity. Though I sometimes worry that because of who I am, it's not enough.

I've had times where I've seen mutual friends who've known each other for a long time (longer than they've known me) interacting and thinking, "God I want to be like that with them," but 1: I'm too shy and 2: I've not known them long enough in comparison to feel like I can, like my bond with them obviously can't be the same. I've had times where I've wanted to be close to people and learn about/get to know them but then worried about rushing or coming across as clingy or overbearing. I want people to be comfortable with me just like I am with them; to be their rock. But then feel like I'm crazy for that, especially if it's over a relatively short amount of time. Like, of course I can't expect that from anyone, nor should I. And so the line, "I can't compete with that... No matter what I do, I can't seem to break down her walls. You two... Even when you're trying to kill each other you can tell there's a real bond there." really struck a chord with me.

But, much like Scorpia in the episode, despite all that, I don't give up. When I care about someone, I'll stay by their side no matter what. Because they matter to me, and as long as I can do anything to help, even if it's just reaching out when I see a friend having a hard time and letting them know I'm there, then I'll do whatever I can and let them know how much they matter. Because that's who I am.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk about how a goofy buff lady with claws almost made me cry.

[kebriones]

Which site do you use fpr commission? Or do you use email? Because honestly i want to do commisions online but i am very suspicious of bots and scam accounts 😔

1. I take orders on all social media I have (twt, insta and deviantart, here i haven't yet had anyone ask for a comm)

2. Communication with the customers is done depending on what they prefer. Either dms on that social media, or discord, or email (which is very rare)

3. I have never been scammed by a commissioner. I've had only one instance when someone didn't pay me for months after I finished their work, due to things going on in their life, but they did pay me in the end.

4. Don't take commissions from empty accounts, if you're taking comms on social media. It's easy to tell if you're talking with a bot or a human if you start discussing details on the commission.

5. Ask to get paid upfront, or half upfront. I don't do that because of personal reasons but it's the standard practice.

6. I know there are scammers that might do chargebacks or not pay you at all after you've finished their commission. My advice is to be aware of the discussions you have with them. Do they seem actually invested in the commission they're getting? What are they asking for? Most. normal people who love your art will most likely be following you on social media, will have liked your art before.

7.I have never had anyone directly message me on email or discord for comms. I don't think I would trust just a random email asking for art.

8. You always have the risk of being scammed. Always , always ask to get paid before you send any high resolution final pieces. Paypal allows chargebacks. If you worry about that, I'm not sure about the legalities of using it for work, but kofi doesn't do refunds. I would look into their tos though, since it's primarily a donations site.

9. I have in my TOS (terms of service) that if a customer fails to pay me I reserve the right to alter the art I made for them and use it to make up for the lost profit. I also always check with customers that they've read said TOS.

Hope this helps. Doing freelance commissions online isn't always safe, but if you avoid obviously suspicious accounts reaching out to you, you'll mostly be fine! I definitely recommend DeviantArt for advertising your commissions and art and getting safer customers, most people there are at least art lovers if not artists themselves, and you can also see how old an account is. Someone who's been there for five or ten years is less likely to scam you, in my experience. DeviantArt needs some work to get your art to be seen, but if you learn to use the groups function and you wiggle your way into communities/interract with others, it's a more straightforward way to find customers than praying to the instagram algorithm gods to favor you. Twitter is also useful and in my experience has less wierd people coming into your dms asking for free art than Instagram does.

[strawberriesndaisies]

I posted 6,010 times in 2022

99 posts created (2%)

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I tagged 2,992 of my posts in 2022

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#rn it's a wallpaper i made of the 9th 10th 11th and 12th doctors and basically they all have their own polaroid picture and its just asdfgh

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jan 20 - Going Down (Stephen Strange x reader)

Done because I collapsed this morning (not unconscious though)

You hadn't even seen it coming until it happened. One minute you were standing around with Stephen, and the next you felt the (now familiar) hum of your ears ringing.

Deep breaths, you reminded yourself gently. Just breathe Y/N, you're fine.

The room started spinning as you stood, and you reached an arm out onto Stephen's shoulder.

"Y/N? Are you okay, what's happening?"

The sound of your soft mumbling is the loudest thing you've ever heard over the silence of the library. "The rooms spinning."

"Did you drink water today?"

"No."

"Let's go get you a glass, okay?"

You whisper back something affirmative, but you can't get yourself to move. He stays by your side, his arm around your back as you start swaying.

You mumble his name as you start falling, hitting your shoulder on the wall as he helps lower you. "Oh shit...you're okay Y/N, just breathe alright?"

He sits there next to you as you take in air slowly, his hand running over your arm slowly. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little bit."

He hums back, pulling you closer to him. "Try to take it slowly today okay?"

See the full post

156 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#4

Guitar Lessons | E. Munson

Summary | Eddie teaching you how to play his guitar

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Reader

Stranger Things Masterlist

See the full post

243 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

Hey, you take requests, right? Could u write headcanons for Draco Malfoy with a gf who's prone to fainting?

Sure thing Anon! Sorry it took me so long to reply to this, i've been extremely busy with Exams and such. Now onto the headcanons :)

- Draco could always see the telltale signs that you were about to faint

- The way your hands started shaking, the way your breathing suddenly became more shallow, the way you squeezed your eyes shut, and of course the fact that you seemed to be swaying on your feet

- He'd be behind you in the blink of an eye, his hand on the small of your back

- If you were in public, he'd find a place for you to sit down and hold you close to him

- If you were in the castle, he'd try and get you back to your dorms as soon as possible. He knows you prefer not to be around so many people when this happens

- When you do faint, he'd be right beside you, making sure you didn't get hurt during the fall

- He's always there when you wake up again, brushing his fingers over your hair and telling you that it's okay, darling. Everything's alright.

320 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

#2

The Bakers Daughter | E. Munson

Summary | The story of how the "town freak" started dating the baker's daughter

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Shy!Fem!Reader

Reader Notes | Reader just moved to Hawkins and her family owns the local bakery.

Join my taglist!

Stranger Things Masterlist

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574 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just think theres something so beautiful about holding someone so extremely gently because you're scared to put pressure on them in fear that they'll break. When they've spent the last few minutes crying into your shoulder because they're tired, or stressed, or just had a bad day and they need to be near you and just be vulnerable, and now they've fallen asleep against you and you're gently running your fingers over their back and you want to help them lay down but you don't want them to wake up so you just let them lean against you as their breath fans against your neck and you just let your head softly rest on top of theirs and eventually you fall asleep holding them. Theres something so beautifully raw about that.

1,238 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[weird-and-unwell]

Boy do I have opinions here.

So some of this is cultural. Where I live the accessible stall is a separate room. It's not always perfect, obviously. My one at work has no soap or way to dry your hands, and always 4-6 bins and at least one is in the way so I have to navigate both my wheelchair and whichever giant ass bin they've stuck in my way.

But typically, this room has: a larger space, enough so that I remember my grandfather (had a power chair) and his carer would usually be able to get in (again, sometimes not big enough, but in my personal experience usually is, if a bit tight at times); an emergency cord in case you fall, which has to reach the floor at all times; at least one handrail, although the better ones have at least one on each side (I prefer to transfer from the left so I can use my better leg to help push me over, so both sides is always a relief); a sink next to the toilet, alongside suitable drying stuff (unless you're my workplace ig); bins suitable for sharps and medical waste; and usually, but again, not always, different door handles (sometimes opens electronically), a lighter door in general, easier-to-use sink handles etc...

The point is, this is something my country usually does eh fairly well. Currently we're trying (have been for a while) to get more to have adult changing tables. Some places do, but most don't. And there's only ever one, which...is often a pain. So I'm not gonna say it's perfect or amazing, because it sure isn't if you need an adult changing table.

Now, some of these, courtesy of issues with abled people being unable to be normal about disabled people (including abled people freaking out over invisible disabilities), are locked. I have a special key that lets me access them, and if I forget it, I have to go find someone to open it. I have had times when I've been unable to, and hence unable to use the toilet.

I think it's seen differently elsewhere, but generally, due to it being seperate, it's typically understood that you don't use it unless you need it. Whilst yeah we sometimes need the keys because abled people are ableist, usually it's considered rude if you go "eh there's a queue I'd rather skip" or "eh but it's free so why not".

But frankly even in stalls, what I'd love people to understand is that I don't care! Nope, even if there's a queue and it's the only one available! I've seen "oh but disabled people can wait like everyone else" and oh boy...

First of all, for all you know, by the time they get there, there could be multiple stalls free but they have to wait and wait, possibly repeatedly having to explain to people "no, I need this stall" (something I had to do myself once, back when I needed the one stall with a handrail but wasn't yet visibly disabled), possibly having accidents etc, all because some abled person decided they didn't want to wait an extra minute or two.

But secondly...a lot of us can't wait. For me personally, my autism means I can't tell when I need to pee. So either I go frequently at set times, or (more commonly) I forget to do it, and have a sudden realisation that I'm about 2 minutes max away from wetting myself. One of my medications has a side effect of bowel incontinence. Ever had to sit in your own waste waiting for a bathroom to be available, abled people? And there's so many more people out there whose disabilities result in similar issues of "need the toilet asap, cannot afford to wait for an abled person who decided it was chill to use this one stall anyways".

Maybe I'm more pressed about this issue because I can't wait. But frankly if I had to sit there in my own waste, hoping nothing has leaked onto my wheelchair, and that nobody else can smell it, then I think I'm allowed to get pissed off that someone who doesn't need the stall decided to use it anyways.

(Also an important side note: it's abled people doing this that contributes to the invisibly disabled being judged for using them. Visibly disabled people start to get on edge because maybe this person is just not visibly disabled, but maybe they're another abled person who thinks it's no biggie. And ableds think you're like them. I will always, always, assume someone using the disabled toilet is disabled, but abled people going "yeah no I'd use it happily" is a big part of why that suspicion exists.)

Anyways yeah, some of us need that toilet, you can't always tell who it is that needs it, so if you don't need it, leave it be.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[heresathreebee]

The One Where She Got A Dog

Yelena Belova X Reader

Summary: how Yelena became a dog mom Masterlist Part 2

Tags: E | 1.8k words | scary movie, winter, secret pasts, sapphic

AN: Black Widow movie really got me in my feelings about those characters, Yelena in particular. I havent watched The Thing in almost a year please look the other way if movie events are out of order.

Pretty Russian girls are not usually your type, but fuck if you weren't absolutely obsessed with this one. You laughed when she told you she was from Ohio.  She laughed when you said you were too. 

Aquavit and your grandma's biscuit recipe brought her into your cabin on the edge of the world where she admitted to you she had never seen John Carpenter's The Thing before. You turned it on just as the snow storm set in and wrapped up in your thickest blankets with her. You're trying not to get your hopes too high but she's not shy about asking you to scoot closer. 

"Skäl," you cheer just as the ominous opening credits end and they find the mysterious ship in the frozen wasteland of antarctica. 

"Have you ever been?," Yelena asked. 

You grimace at the strong taste of aquavit. It's like vodka but with caraway for 'flavor'. You look at her from the side and poor yourself a second shot. "Been…?" 

"There." She points at the screen. 

"I have actually," you admit in a way you hope is flat and uninteresting, "have you?" 

Yelena shook her head. It's possible she might think you're being sarcastic (you cross your fingers under the blanket and hope she does). She's smiling at you, thinking something (but still watching the screen with interest). 

She drops the subject until you have to pause the movie to pee. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon of blankets and as you stand she asks you another question. 

"What were you doing there? in Antarctica, I mean." 

You sigh and pretend to brush something off of your pants. "Science trip with my parents. Shitty vacation for me I'd rather be in the Bahamas." 

You resist the urge to look at her. After taking care of business, you come back just in time to put the biscuits in the oven. You hear Yelena lean into the kitchen archway as the floors creak immensely here. 

"No timer?," she asked. 

"No timer," you confirm. "I use the timer of my heart." 

Yelena scoffs. "Please don't burn them, I'm curious about these… what are they– pastries?" 

"Something like that." 

The two of you went back to the movie just as the gang on screen is trying to decipher who is human and who is not. You feel like something between you has changed and sadly not for the better. 

But she can't know. 

"I hate this part," you say, making absolutely no move to avert your gaze. 

Yelena is startled when the doctor's arms become trapped in the bear trap belly mouth of the "man" on the table. She quickly covers her eyes and giggles manically, slapping your chest for the vague and unhelpful warning. You realize she's not as close to you as before…

There's 20 minutes left of this movie and you haven't seen a single thing on screen. Yelena stopped asking you questions when you stopped being coherent with your answers. All you can think about is telling her. 

But you can't tell her. She would never understand. You barely understand and it's about you. 

"I lied." Your heart beats in your throat as you see her face you but you can't look at her directly for fear of losing your nerve. "About the science expedition? That's not why I was in Antarctica…" 

Yelena seems to wait for you to continue but… 

"Eh, no offense but, " you gesture with your hand, "I don't really know you like that." 

Yelena gave your reply a single nod. "I suppose that's fair." 

You can't help but fidget in your seat. "Idliketo" 

"What was that?" 

You cleared your throat. "I said… I said I'd like to. Know you like that, I mean…" 

Yelena gives you a smile. "I would like to know you like that, too." 

The movie ends, the biscuits are not burnt but buttery soft and golden brown, and the blizzard outside has subsided some. It's still going but at least it's not buffering the doors and windows like before. 

"How can you watch that film in a place like this?" Yelena cannot get enough of those biscuits, stuffing them in her mouth 2 at a time. "Does it make you paranoid?" 

"Yes it does," you say, putting your coat on, "I think that's what makes it so much scarier–  looking outside and being scared every person you come across ain't who they say they are. Sometimes its not a bad thing though... I think it is rather… poetic, too." 

Yelena's eyebrows furrow. "Where are you going?" 

You put on your boots and hope the duct tape stays on the hole you covered earlier. "Dogs are out in the shed. It's heated and they have food, but not for days and I'd rather have 'em in the house where I can take care of them." 

As you finished your sentence you reached for the door,  but stopped when you noticed Yelena getting dressed too. She gives you a nod as soon as her hood comes up, and you give this brave thing an appreciative once over. 

The snow that nearly all melted before is up to your knees now. Fresh, white, and fluffy. It muffles sound like the world's sidelong turning. The odd snowflake wafts lazily from the sky, but for the most part it's died down. You teach back and take Yelena's gloved hand to keep from staying too far apart. 

"You know I always wanted a dog," she said. She could have said it in a whisper from 100 yards away and you still would have heard her–  that is how eerily quiet it is. 

Yelena squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. She's probably remembering the movie. You try to distract her by saying, "Oh yeah? You can have one of mine then." 

Yelena laughs, then stops. "You serious?" 

"As a heart attack." You finally reach the door to the shed and unlatch the door. A chorus of barks begin and you charge forward to nudge them back to give Yelena space to come in as well. "I do some breeding up here–  just a side job. They're usually working dogs but they can be pets too." 

Buck licks your face from chin to forehead and you push him back. "Down, boy! Show some respect!" 

Yelena has two of the mongrels circling her, sniffing all her clothes and demanding to be pet. "That's Burt, Barney, and Bella. Buck's my stud, but these heathens are going to a farm. They've got sheep to watch." 

Yelena chuckles as her hands get covered in slobber. "I love them." 

They're almost grown, three quarters the height of their father. Buck didn't even look in Yelena's direction because he knows you give him treats. You take your scarf off as the heat of the shed threatens to smother you and search your pockets for jerky.  

"She's in there with the new puppies." You point to a darkened closet. "Don't get too close now, she's still a little protective." 

Yelena creeps closer. You see her look at you from the corner of her eye. Probably terrified by the morphing dog scene from the movie. You give her an encouraging smile and tell her where to find the light. It's a pull cord and it bathes the room in a warm golden yellow light. 

Yelena's heavy, controlled breathing turns into a coo. Mama dog is laying on her side watching the newcomer closely. There's a pup asleep in the nest of her legs, another chewing on the hay that litters the ground, and the last one is biting their mother's ear. Yelena looks back at you with an adorable pout on her lip. 

"So cute…" 

You chuckle and put your arm around her. Buck knows to steer clear of mama dog and slinks off. You make your guest walk closer with you to show mama she's got your confidence. 

"Yelena, this is Beyonce." Mama dog's ears perk at the sound of her name. "Beyonce, this is Yelena. Be nice." 

You reach down and scoop up the hay eating puppy at your feet. "This one's always hungry." 

You put the pup in her arms and scoop up the biter. "This one likes to play. All the time. Got more energy than the blue Energizer bunny actually." 

The pup in question is literally trying to wriggle out of your hands in its eagerness to climb you and eat your hair. 

"And that one sleeps a lot?" Yelena nodded her head at the last pup. 

"Pretty much." You put the writhing excited puppy down before it hurts itself and look up into the rafters. "And then there's the climber…" 

You both turn your heads when you hear a tiny bark. A cute little face stares down at you from the rafters and there's a feather stuck to its nose. You shake your head knowing this pup got it from ripping up pillows in another part of the dog house. 

"Better go get her," you said, not moving an inch to do so.  

Yelena sees your challenge and rises to it. As if trained to do exactly so, she assesses the wooden interior for foot and hand holds. You can see the wheels turning in her head as she calculates what will and won't support her weight. In the sweep of a single moment, she rises from the door and swings herself into the rafters using a build up a momentum to propel her fast in an upperward direction. She completes the climb and balances with ease, reaching out to collect the happy wagging miscreant from her mountain top, tucks her in her jacket and climbs a different way down. 

You stare at her. "Were you raised by trapeze artists?" 

Yelena laughs. "I thought everybody was." 

The pup is safe and happy and eager to explore its new friend. Yelena lets her lick, sniff, and scratch at her skin, her clothes, her hair. The pup catches Yelena with a tiny lick right on the tip of her nose and Yelena looks back at you with adoring eyes. 

You smile. "Got a name for her already don't you?" 

"Yes," Yelena whines, "no, are you sure about this? I should probably tell you I've never had a dog before…" 

"I can tell your good people," you reply. "And smart as a whip. You'll adapt, just call me if you ever need anything." 

~

Three weeks later you get a phone call from an unknown number. It's Yelena giving you an address and making you swear never to tell anybody about it. You don't have any friends so it's an easy secret to keep. 

You drive a few miles south and stumble upon a stationary trailer in the middle of nowhere, nothing but clearings and trees and sky. Actually very similar to your own home. 

The door opens and Yelena greets you with a beer and the pup under her arm, already almost a foot bigger than she was before. 

"Her name is Fanny." You both laugh yourselves hoarse and pile into the trailer to puppy proof the place. 

[oibkenobi]

why i don't accept the sequel trilogy

that's so dramatic, and it's more to do with the whole "i get to cherry pick what star wars is to me" than anything particularly blasphemous about the sequels. and i swear this is the only time i'll be talking about the sequels on my blog. so here's my criticism of the sequels, just based of their premise.

one thing i always look for in media, and am very picky about, is that they're telling a story. that means that, from the beginning, good media has a cohesive narrative that it's telling. i find that, in a majority of situations, once (mainly about tv shows) pass that original premise and don't end the story then and there, it no longer is good, because the story it was made to tell is done, so adding new stuff on will

1) never be as good as the original story [because when you're making some media with a premise, you're building things around that story, i.e. here's the hero, the villain, this is the journey this character goes in, their arch, et cetera, whereas if you're working past that story, those characters and setting no longer make sense. i feel like it has to do with people liking the characters and setting they've made, but it is no longer the organic path they were meant to go on. not to name drop, but I feel this is where shows like the 100 and tvd ended up -- actually most of the cw, whereas something i've seen that does this well is uk tv shows, like derry girls, where they had three seasons of 6 half-hour episodes, and ended it at that when they story had reached its end] 2) bring down the quality of the franchise as a whole [the story is over, and then this happens, oh and then this, you're stretching something as far as you can to milk it. if you're ok with doing that, you're going to end up in a position where you feel like you have to keep on generating and extending that idea, just to get as much as you can out of it, and it's not going to be good anymore]

now, for all the criticisms of the writing of star wars *cough* dialogue *cough*, what george lucas is (and this is all my opinion so i don't want anyone to give theirs cause that has nothing to do with mine) excellent at are these overarching, cohesive narratives. he developed really great characters with compelling stories.

the main one we see is the overarching one of lucas' star wars: the fall and redemption of anakin skywalker. the prequels showed anakin's fall from chosen one, and the circumstances that led him to the dark side. the original trilogy tells the story of his son trying to be like his father [ie a jedi] while also choosing a different path [not making the mistakes anakin did, choosing the light], and working with his friends to stop vader and, as a consequence, bring him back to the light. it also ends with the defeat of The Evil, and there aren't many stories you could make past that one once that happens.

or, the chosen one falls to the dark side, then with the help of his son, he is able to return to the light and end the sith, like that whole prophecy said. evil is defeated and good wins. (and ofc it's way more nuanced than this, but i'm trying to really simplify to illustrate my point)

that's a cohesive narrative, and the story ends in a way that makes sense. and this is why i don't like the sequels, just based off their premise.

and then evil comes back anyways and they have to fight them again, and then the original heroes die and then palpatine is alive again.

just from the premise of the whole first order and resistance, aside from just being pretty lazy rip offs of the original trilogy, are trying to extend the story beyond its natural end. if that was the story they wanted to tell, why not make the disney trilogy take place during the empire? [i mean obviously bc disney just wanted the money] because it doesn't fit into that narrative, it just and then-s it.

There are definitely more stories that could be told in that same universe that aren't carbon copies of the originals, star wars: visions does a great job with all the premises they create, most of which might have evolved into an incredibly compelling disney trilogy that would make sense with the existing canon.

[self indulgent what i might do while keeping some elements of the disney trilogy, to follow, a very half-formed idea, can skip for more of my critique bellow]

instead of the first order, as this new giant/overwhelming evil like the empire, perhaps it's about hunting down the fringe remaining parts of the empire, and that's what the "first order" is, a wannabe empire that does evil on a smaller scale [like a bunch of gangs who raid and attempt to attack innocent worlds, but don't have a military], but still pose a real threat [and there wouldn't need to be a rebellion resistance, because that's already been done].

they don't need a menacing inhuman figure at their head (snoke = bad copy of palpatine), or a giant superweapon (i mean come on, just make it a third death star, if you're copying own up to it). instead it could have been a story on a smaller scale; a main issue brought up in the prequels especially is the neglect of smaller worlds and the outer rim. those could be what the first order is targeting, enough of a nuisance that jedi are sent to deal with them, but not so much that the new republic need to get involved. that way it resolved that problem that no one else seemed to care about, which is what i think the jedi order should be. i saw a post somewhere [and pls lmk if you find it], but it talks about how being a jedi is an act, it's a choice. like when f saves the village in the village bride, even though she's alone, because it's the right thing to do. or like in kenobi, when nari risked exposure to help the saloon owner, because that's what jedi do. idk that's just what i thought of on the spot.

but that brings me to another thing, it makes no sense to me that there are suddenly no more jedi again. like even if all of luke's students died [stupidly, it was stupid], this is luke, a new hope. he'd teach more. he cares so much about the jedi, it gave him a purpose, it helped him and he gets to use it to help people. to have the jedi be wiped out again is just laziness. there's nothing special about being The Only Jedi, being a jedi is unique on its own, and i think especially with how the ot and pt didn't really have jedi working together, that might have been something interesting to show, especially as a contrast to the order of old. it also might have been an intersting parallel, the first order as a fringe group vs a new jedi order, as sort of a rematch of the prequels, demonstrating how luke's new order is changed from the old one, and how the evil of the empire, no matter how persistant, could never pose a true threat to the jedi. after all, the jedi were only wiped out [withholding arguments as to how they were overly political and weaker than they should have been], because the sith played dirty.

speaking of sith, the nights of ren could be this sort of wanna be sith, the same was the first order is a wanna be empire. they wouldn't be Sith, because the last of the true sith had been defeated, but instead the latest attempt at it, while being their own distinct entity.

but as a final note, where the ot gang would be should have been drastically different, to make people who spent their whole lives fighting to defeat an evil, only to have it come back, then die, is a shitty message and not what the characters deserve. let luke be the wise master at the head of the order. let leia be a political mover and shaker, still fighting for good [also let her also be a jedi just as a treat for me]. let han still be trying to do good, even if he roles his eyes a bit while doing it. let lando be there, because he was just as essential as the others and billy dee is the best. but also, let them be together, show that they're still friends, that they're happy. write about a new generation that has benefited from them, but don't do it at the expense of the characters. just anything else from what it was; a mess with no cohesive, overall narrative.

[self indulgence finished]

i've seen people try and breakdown the overall narrative of the "skywalker saga" [which is a name i hate btw], and they'll literally say but/and then when they get to the sequels, because it is an unnecessary add on. there was an ending, it was a party on endor, and it was hopeful and wonderful and there was nothing more that need to be added on. so for me, the main issue is that the sequel trilogy was unnecessary.

but it doesn't stop at an unnecessary add on, because, if you're going to call it an overarching saga, to argue that the sequels are a necessary continuation of the story, it kinda means that one of lucas' trilogies becomes irrelevant.

the narrative is no longer about the fall and redemption of anakin skywalker, because he has nothing to do with the sequels. it has to be something else. for example, if we're going to say that the "skywalker saga" is about the rise and fall of the sith, specifically palpatine, from power, then the original trilogy doesn't really matter anymore, does it? it becomes a bit of a detour, because nothing of consequence to that narrative happens. you could literally take it out, and it still makes a cohesive story.

or, if we're going to say it's about the struggle to defeat the evil of the empire, then the prequels don't fit in that narrative either, do they? we don't need to know how the empire came to be, if the story is about how difficult it is to rid the galaxy of evil. so difficult that it's a constant battle, et cetera. so those can go...

do you get my issue?

of course the easiest remedy for this, and the one i'm sticking to, is just completely ignoring the sequels, because they're not necessary, and sort of ruin the other two.

of course there are many issues i have with the content of the sequels, mainly to do with what i think is really out of character behaviour, but i think that this remains my biggest issue.

[tarlos-spain]

Februwhump Day 18 - Forced to watch

Title: They took you and they made me see

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Owen Strand, Gabriel Reyes

Summary: "Hello, TK, is that you?"

"Grace, yes, they've taken Carlos, they've drugged us and they've taken Carlos. He went to the bathroom and they just took him. I... there was something in my drink, something got into me or... I don't know, maybe someone gave me something and I relapsed but..."

"TK, honey, I need you to calm down. I'm sure you haven't taken anything. So just breathe and tell me where you are and what happened."

"I can't. My head... It's killing me and I can't think. Carlos...they've taken him," TK repeated again, increasingly dazed, dizzy and unable to concentrate on anything.

He had too many things on his mind: Carlos, the drug, his body, the place that was spinning, the voices around him... They were talking about him, but there were too many of them and he wasn't able to concentrate even on Grace's voice.

"TK... TK... Are you still there?"

Chapter 2

TK's awakening scream caused Owen to rush into the room. Behind him were also Judd and Gabriel.

Owen froze as he found TK sitting up in bed, tugging at the restrictive bracelets that had been placed on both of his wrists. He was screaming and protesting in desperation, and was about to hurt or dislocate one of his wrists.

Judd went over to the bed and forced him to lie down, all the while Gabriel and he were telling him that everything was okay, to calm down.

"I don't want to be calm! No! Carlos! They took Carlos! Carlos!"

"TK, boy, you're going to hurt yourself," Gabriel told him, rested a hand on his chest and waited for him to look into his eyes. "We're looking for Carlos everywhere, we know they took him, we have the videos from the cameras, we're going to find him."

Gabriel's words managed to relax TK a little, just enough for Judd to manage to knock him off his feet altogether. He turned to Owen and motioned him over.

The captain was in shock, of all the horrible things he had seen his son go through, this seemed the worst, because it almost looked like TK had lost his mind.

The doctor had said that the drug would leave his body completely within a day and even though the time was about to pass, his son was still extremely upset and out of it. He couldn't help but look at the bandages on his arms where both at the bar and the hospital he had managed to stick something in, believing he could pull the drug through the wounds.

He walked slowly over to the bed and sat down next to TK. It took a few moments for his son to notice his presence and when he did, his whole body began to tremble, his eyes filled with tears and he bit his lip to keep from bursting into desperate tears.

"Dad..."

"I'm here, my boy. I'm here."

"I didn't mean to take anything, Dad, I promise." TK tried to reach out a hand toward his father, but the handcuffs wouldn't let him. He groaned in desperation and tried again. "I...I didn't want to...I didn't want to take anything...I didn't want to relapse...I don't want to."

"I know, I know, TK." Owen stroked his son's cheek in an attempt to calm him, though he knew that as long as Carlos was missing, TK wouldn't calm down. "They drugged you, they drugged both of you to take Carlos."

"Why? who are these people? what do they want with Carlos?"

"We don't know yet, boy," Gabriel resumed speaking.

TK was already a second son to him; although he had found it hard to accept that his son was gay he was now unable to imagine him with anyone but TK, no one who loved him more than that boy.

"I'm not on the case, you know, because of the conflict of interest thing and because I'd kill the bastards who are doing this to him." Everyone in that room thought so. "But I've got enough friends in the police that they'll be giving us all the information on the case."

"Dad, I have to get out of here." TK tugged at the bindings on his wrists again. "I'm not crazy, do you think I'm crazy? That's why you tied me up, isn't it?"

"TK, no one thinks you're crazy. But those people drugged you with a very strong hallucinogen. The doctor said you could really hurt yourself. See this?" Owen pointed to the wounds on his son's arms. "Remember you did that to yourself?"

TK looked at himself, everything that had happened during the night or in the last few hours was a black hole in which he remembered some things, sensations rather, terror, hatred for the strangers who had taken Carlos, again horror at the situation, fear of never seeing Carlos again.

But he did not know what had happened to him or what he had done.

"You scratched your arms."

Keep reading on AO3

[monokyokyo]

Delivery Boy

I literally forgot to post this 💀 Basically Flower Boy pt 2 but from Yeosang's perspective

For the longest time, Yeosang never believed in love at first sight. He saw it as a cheap way to keep children on the lookout for their soulmates. It was a simple myth. What if the person doesn't return your feelings? What if they've already found "the one"? All of it was absurd to him.

Yet that all changed when he passed by a small flower shop on his way to a delivery.

In reality, Yeosang could care less about plants so they surely weren't the things that caught his eye. As he made his rounds, parking his bike next to a tiny bouquet, he peered into the flower shop next door. Out of curiosity, his eyes lingered on it, examining its colourful decor and few customers through the glass. Though they were the last things to catch his attention.

With fluffy, brown hair and hazel eyes that sparkled like diamonds, Yeosang watched the small shopkeeper skip from client to client, providing his assistance wherever it may be needed. He just seemed so innocent. So adorable. So... "Cute."

"Yah! Delivery boy! Are you going to bring me my food or not?" The shout of his customer snapped Yeosang back to reality and he hastily scampered to deliver them their meal, apologising the whole way. That didn't stop him from glancing back at the flower shop though, a small grin forming on his face when he looked back at the counter where the flower boy stood.

When arriving back at the small restaurant he worked at, Yeosang's excitement didn't go unnoticed by his coworker, who was startled by the way he yelled when he entered the building. "HONGJOONG! HOLY SHIT!"

The man ahead of him was his hyung and one of the few people working at the restaurant. It was a small, family-run establishment, so there was not much staff needed to run it.

Hongjoong collected his breath after having the living daylights scared out of him by how the brunette had screamed but smiled regardless, quirking his brow with intrigue. "What an entrance. Everything alright, Sangie?"

"No. Not at all." The redhead watched the way his coworker slumped into the seat nearest to the front counter. Before he could ask what was so wrong, Yeosang beat him to it. Saying, "Have you ever laid eyes on someone so pretty that they make your heart beat fifty miles for an hour and you want to go in and tell them they what they've done to your poor body but are afraid they would look at you weirdly because this is the first time you've actually seen one another so it would just end up being awkward for the both of you? Have you ever felt like that Hongjoong?"

The older opened his mouth then closed it immediately, furrowing his brow and trying to see if he understood the waterfall of information that was just thrown at him. "No... No, I don't think I've ever felt like that..."

"I must be sick. Maybe I'm coming down with a fever?"

Hongjoong squinted at him. He was indeed turning red but he had a feeling it wasn't from a fever. So he just chuckled. "Looks like someone's got a crush~" He sang as he reached over to ruffle the younger's brown locks. Yet to his surprise, Yeosang seemed quite terrified by this notion, immediately smacking his hyung's hand away and looking up at him with wide eyes.

"C-Crush?" He stuttered out, looking oddly terrified. "I can't have a crush on someone! What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm weird? Oh god, I can't get married yet! I'm too young!"

The redhead was left with a loss for words. Married? What kind of Disney movies had this kid been watching? "Yeosang, just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you have to date them. Let alone marry them."

Yet Yeosang only scoffed. "You clearly don't get out enough."

~~~

Over the next few days, the only thing Yeosang could think of was that flower boy. It was almost annoying given how they had never even had a conversation before. Love at first sight didn't exist. It simply wasn't a thing. So why was he still on his mind?

Hongjoong had easily spotted his predicament, given how the restaurant wasn't very busy that day, giving the young brunette time to lounge around. Chuckling, he walked over to boop his nose, watching it scrunch up irritably. "What?"

"I'm going to do a delivery, I'll be back in a few minutes?"

Yeosang furrowed his brow, sitting upright. "Why so soon?" Hongjoong just shrugged, adjusting a bag on his shoulder with the food in it.

"I'm just going down the road. There's a flower shop over there, you know it? The owner ordered spicy ramen." Hearing that, Yeosang shot to his feet, his interest finally piqued.

"He likes ramen? I like ramen!"

"Yeah, everyone likes ramen." He laughed and made his way towards the door. However, Yeosang yelled something that kept him from leaving.

"I'll do it!" Now, Yeosang would never volunteer to do a delivery. Most days, he would rather be sitting behind the counter on his phone, scrolling through Twitter and avoiding any actual work. So hearing him want to do something made Hongjoong eye him sceptically.

Yeosang quickly caught onto this and couldn't risk him saying no. "Please, please, please!" Despite the fear in Hongjoong's eyes at hearing him beg for something, Yeosang was handed the bag regardless.

"Why do you want to go so badly? It's not like you to do your job..." His statement was ignored by Yeosang, who only focussed on shoving a hat on his head and a mask over his face. Hongjoong's expression turned bewildered to downright concerned when he put the sunglasses on.

Nevertheless, Yeosang left the restaurant looking like some sort of mad man on the run, ramen in hand. He trekked down the road, clutching his delivery like his life depended on it. The strange looks he received from civilians didn't bother him, as the only thing on his mind was entering that flower shop and meeting its owner.

His hand trembled around the door handle, reluctant to so much as graze it. Luckily, he wasn't given any more time to stand there like an idiot because the glass entrance suddenly flung open. Yeosang shrieked, nearly dropping the food when he jumped back.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I thought the door might have been locked, I'm so sorry for scaring you!"

There he was. The flower boy. He looked at Yeosang with wide, worried eyes that were so shiny he could have stared at them for days. Had the other male not started to speak, that was exactly what he would have done too. "Sir? Are you okay? You've been staring for a bit now..."

Yeosang almost squealed, yes, squealed, in embarrassment. Doing his best to save face, he hastily shoved the box of ramen in his hands, keeping his head down the entire time. Though his red face was covered by his mask, Yeosang swore to god he was so warm that he would have melted it right off.

As soon as the box was in the other man's grasp, Yeosang sped off. "Hey! What about the money?" He didn't care. He couldn't stand there a minute longer and risk imploding from the inside out.

Hongjoong flinched when the front door suddenly slammed open, with Yeosang running in soon after. "Jesus! You'll break the door! What happened? Did you get mugged or something?"

"Worse." He groaned. Slinking off to the counter, Yeosang fell against the object, a heavy sigh of dismay leaving his lips. "The flower boy... I saw his face... H-He spoke to me..."

The redhead, once concerned, smiled. "No wonder you wanted to do the delivery," Yeosang could be so dramatic when it came to his feelings. Though Hongjoong didn't mean to laugh, he often found it to be quite entertaining how much stake he would put on little encounters like this.

Once again, the entrance to the shop entered, although not as violently as before. "Hello?" The voice that had walked in said. It took less than a second for Yeosang to recognise it and when he did, he immediately ducked behind the counter. The customer had clearly noticed, but he was too quick to see exactly who it was, so he paid it little mind. "Sorry to bother you, but the person you sent forgot to collect his payment..."

His voice was so calming, so sweet. It made Yeosang's heart flutter, heartbeat speeding up the longer he was in the room. Quit it, will you heart? God, you're so extra...

"Ah, is that so? I'm sorry about that. Here, thank you for coming here." Hongjoong's foot tapped against Yeosang's side, his way of silently scolding him for his poor performance.

"It's not a problem. I hope he's doing okay, he ran off pretty quickly..."

"Don't worry too much, he's fine. Have a good day sir." They said their goodbyes and Hongjoong waited until the customer was out of sight to roll his eyes. "He's gone, Sangie. You can come up now." Yeosang let out a heavy breath of relief. His hand was resting on his chest to soothe his raging heartbeat with little success. "You're hopeless. You know that?"

"I am not! I was just... caught off guard."

"Uh-huh, yeah sure. Sang, listen, you've got a crush and from the looks of it, a ridiculous one. The store is just down the street, why not give it a visit tomorrow? Maybe give him your number?" Yeosang pursed his lips, hand reaching for his sunglasses, which Hongjoong was quick to slide away. "Without the sunglasses and get up, please. You look like a drug dealer."

~~~

So Yeosang decided to give it a try. Not without its fair share of trials, of course. He was still a socially inept twink, after all. There was no way in Hell he could just walk up there and ask for his number. Despite his hyung's encouragement, he remained reluctant for most of the day, too anxious to even leave the building.

Every time he tried to step outside, he saw another person walk into the flower shop. From a tall man pulling up a fancy, white Cadillac, to someone who looked dejected beyond repair. Why are there so many people going in today? Stay home, dammit!

Like the coward he was, Yeosang waited nearly a day to go across the road, despite how vigorously Hongjoong laughed at his shyness. There was so much anticipation built up in his head. What would he say? How would he react? It was all more stressful than it needed to be.

It wasn't until his hyung alerted him of the time, "It's nearly six, what are you still doing? He's going to close soon!" did he finally spring to his seat. Yeosang has spent much of the afternoon pondering over a note should his words fail him. Shoving the paper in his pocket, he sprinted from his seat, eager to not miss his chance.

He could see the flower boy getting ready to flip the 'open' sign to 'closed' and instantly quickening his pace. He flinched back and Yeosang's eyes went wide. As quickly as he could, he reached for the younger male's waist to catch him from falling in shock when he zoomed through the door.

Those eyes... So perfect it was unreal. Now that they were up close, Yeosang really got a chance to examine his features. His round cheeks, his bright eyes. Never had he ever seen such a pretty human being. "Are you still open?" Those were the first words to leave his mouth, only to prevent any more of the undoubtedly awkward silence.

The florist went silent when he untangled himself from Yeosang's grip. The most he did was silently gesture him into the shop and despite his lack of verbal response, the brunette still smiled and walked inside.

The shop was cute which wasn't much of a surprise given how sweet the owner seemed. Even if he didn't know much about flowers, all he was sure of was that they were pretty. "Do you know what you're looking for?" The shopkeeper inquired, or rather, whispered. Yeosang pivoted in his direction, moving towards him.

For some reason, the younger looked quite shaken, at least until Yeosang smiled. "You." He spoke, much to the florist's confusion.

Blush rose to his face, not going unnoticed by the older male. "M-Me? What do you..." Yet his speech trailed off when the brunette plucked a rose off the table, eyeing it carefully. Yep. That was definitely a flower. He had no clue what he'd do with it but he couldn't just leave without buying anything, especially not after his dramatic entrance.

So he placed the flower on the counter, deciding that he would be taking it. As the shopkeeper got his receipt ready, Yeosang fished through his pockets for the note he had written. He gulped nervously as his hands began to tremble at the realisation that he was really doing this.

Covered in a slick plastic, the rose was handed back to him. "Have a good evening, sir..." However, Yeosang had yet to move. All he did was take the gift in his hand and carefully wrapped his note around the base of it then placed it back on the counter.

The strange look he received vanished when Yeosang planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "Good night, flower boy." He said once he had moved away.

Yeosang didn't stay in the store a moment later. Though he may have exited calmly, you best believe he started sprinting all the way back to the restaurant once he was out of the florist sight.

"Holy shit... Holy shit!" He panted, desperately attempting to catch his breath, even though he hadn't run all that far. Hongjoong had just finished locking the doors it seemed and grinned at the sight of his frazzled coworker.

"I take it that things went well?"

Love at first sight was a fantasy, just a trick to give us false hope. It was something that Yeosang would have agreed with wholeheartedly just a few days ago but when his phone went off with an incoming message...

Hey delivery boy ❤

Then maybe he had started to believe in that supposed fantasy after all.

[itsadamcole]

you’re not broken

fem!reader x kyle o’reilly

reader and Kyle go back to reader’s home in Philadelphia for Christmas. little does Kyle know that reader’s mother isn’t the nicest person .... “i promise you that you’re not broken”

word count: 2.5k+

warnings: angst, mentions of death / plane crash, verbal assault, fluff

— day 3 in a row ... out of (hopefully) 25 —

masterlist || request an imagine here

part 2

***

You smile as you walk up to the front door of your childhood home. Your boyfriend's hand in yours. You hope to God that your parents and siblings will be nice to you. Maybe because Kyle is here then they might.

Christmas at home hasn't been the same since your older sister's plane crash. It's been two years but since the year after she died, your family hasn't been treating you like they used to. They've started comparing you to your sister that passed, telling you that you'll never be like she was, telling you that you'll never achieve the same success that she did in WWE.

It hasn't been the same since she died. You miss your sister. You were best friends and tag partners. She was so understanding when Kyle asked you to join the Undisputed Era and was so supportive when you had a storyline against her after you joined the Undisputed Era.

Kyle knows about some of what your family has said to you, but he doesn't know about what they've said about you and comparing you to your sister.

Speaking of Kyle, he senses you're nervous even though you have a smile on your face. He tightens his grip on your hand and he says, "Relax, Y/N. If they say something to you then I'll make sure to say something back to them. No one hurts my girl without consequences."

You look up at Kyle and say, "You're the best." You smile.

Kyle smiles down at you and pecks your lips before you knock on the door.

There is shuffling behind the door as you smooth out the front of your dark red dress and move closer to Kyle.

Your younger sister, who is thirteen years old, answers the door. "Y/N! You're here!" she says happily.

"Hey, shortie," you say, laughing. "You're not exactly short anymore, are you. You're almost as tall as me. Have you grown since I last saw you?"

She giggles and says, "It's been a little bit since you've seen me, Y/N. Come home more often." Her giggles stop and she starts to pout.

You hug your younger sister and say, "I would love to come home but I have a title to defend." You look at Kyle. He smiles at you.

Ever since your parents changed their attitude toward you, you've stayed away from Philadelphia. You've been staying with Kyle in Orlando to be close to the Performance Center and Full Sail. You haven't been back home since July and it's now December. Your sister turned thirteen in the time you've been away.

"I know," your younger sister says. "I just miss you."

You kiss the side of your sister's head and say, "I miss you too. You can always come down to Florida. I'll even buy you a plane ticket if you want to come visit. Maybe get Y/B/N to come with you since he's 18."

Your older sister was almost 30 when she died. You're 28. There's a ten year difference between you and your brother and your youngest sister is 13.

Y/S/N says, "If Mom and Dad will let me go. They've been strict since the accident and they won't even let us get on a plane."

"I'll talk to them tonight," you say. "Maybe you guys can come spend New Years with Kyle and I."

Kyle nods and says, "The boys will be there too with their girlfriends and wives but we'd love to have you come down, Y/S/N."

She smiles and says, "Yay." Your sister skips inside the house and you sigh, looking up at Kyle.

"Are you naturally that good with kids or what?" you ask.

Kyle laughs and says, "Naturally that good."

You smile and reach up, pressing a kiss to Kyle's lips. You walk into the house holding Kyle's hand.

"Mom!" you call. "I'm here!"

Your mom says, "In the kitchen, sweetheart!" You walk into the large kitchen. You're greeted with the smell of roast beef as soon as you walk into the kitchen.

Y/B/N sits at the kitchen island with Y/S/N and they're playing something on Y/B/N computer. You run up behind your brother and attack him with a hug from behind. "Hey, baby bro," you say.

"Jesus, Y/N," he gasps. "You scared me and I'm trying to win as imposter."

That's when you realize he's playing Among Us. You see his name in red. "Ooh," you giggle. "Let me in at some point tonight. I wanna kick you ass."

You, Kyle, and your siblings laugh. You mother scolds, "Y/N! Language please."

"Ass isn't a bad word, mother," you sigh. "Relax."

Kyle looks at you then looks at your mom, who says, "You know such language is not allowed in this house."

You roll your eyes and say to your brother, "I'll play after dinner, if I'm still here."

Your brother nods and you take Kyle's hand, leaving the kitchen and walking into the living room. Your dad sits on the couch with wrestling on the TV.

"Hi, daddy," you smile, kissing the top of his head. "What are you watching?"

Your dad smiles and say, "Hi, pumpkin. I'm watching one of Shawn Michaels' old matches."

You sit beside your dad and Kyle sits beside you. "Nice to see you again, Mr. L/N," Kyle says.

"You too, Kyle," your dad says. "Is there a match the two of you would like to watch?"

Kyle says, "How about Randy Orton versus Drew McIntyre at Hell in a Cell? That match was amazing."

You dad says, "I agree. It's such a good match." He puts it on. "You have good taste in matches, Kyle."

He laughs and says, "Y/N and I have very similar taste in matches. We both like the matches that involve cells or weapons. Y/N likes tables."

"They're the worst to go through in real life but it's fun to watch other people go through them," you say.

Your dad laughs and says, "Your sister liked table matches too. She said the same thing. They were a pain to go through but she loved watching them."

Your mood tanks at the mention of your sister. Kyle notices this and takes your hand. You rest your head on his shoulder and watch Drew lose his title to Randy.

It's close to twenty minutes later before your mother calls, "Dinner!"

Your dad gets up, walking to the dining room. You look up at Kyle and you say, "Whatever they say, either ignore it or just let me handle it, okay?"

Kyle says, "I'm jumping in if it looks like you need help. I'm serious."

You nod and walk into the dining room with Kyle. Your mother is serving your father dinner. A lot sits out on the large table. A plate with cut up roast beef, corn sits in a bowl, mashed potatoes right next to the corn, biscuits, green beans, and a bowl of mac n' cheese all sit on the table.

You help yourself to some mac n' cheese and say, "Dinner looks amazing, Mom."

"Thank you, Y/N," she says. Her voice is cold. Obviously she's still mad about you saying the word 'ass' in front of her.

Kyle grabs some roast beef and takes a bit. "Mhm," he hums. "This is the best roast beef I've had in a long time."

You smile and say, "Mom slow roasts it in the oven. It takes all day but so worth it." Kyle smiles and takes another bite.

Y/S/N says, "Mom, can Y/B/N and I spend New Years in Florida with Y/N and Kyle?"

Mom looks at you then at your sister before asking, "How do you plan on getting back here, Y/S/N?"

You look at your mom and say, "I can accompany them back. Kyle and I leave in two days to go back to Orlando so we can just book Y/S/N and Y/B/N seats on the same flight as Kyle and I."

"Please, Mom?" your sister pleads.

"Yeah, please?" your brother chimes in.

Your mom looks at your siblings and says, "You both know how I feel about planes. They crash."

Your sister gets a sad look on her face and you say, "It's very rare, Mom. I've flown plenty of times."

"You were supposed to be on the flight that Y/OS/N was on," your mother snaps. "You realize that, right?"

A pang of hurt hits you in the chest and you say, "I'm well aware but it's not my fault that the plane crashed, Mom."

Your mother looks at you from across the table and says, "It should've been you on that plane, Y/N. Instead it was your sister, who actually made this family proud."

Kyle says, "Woah, okay. Mrs. L/N, that's not fair on Y/N's part. She had no idea that the plane would crash."

Tears well up in your eyes and you say, "I make this family proud too, Mom. I've held tag titles, I currently hold the only women's singles title in NXT. I'm in a group that has made history in NXT. I've made history with Y/OS/N as longest reigning and most reigns as WWE Women's Tag Team champion."

Your mother says, "Your sister held the Raw Women's title for a record breaking 450 days. How long have you held the NXT Women's title for?"

"348 days, and counting," you spit at her. "I'm only behind her by 100 days, which I plan on breaking. Then I plan on breaking Asuka's longest reign of 510 days just to prove to you that I can do every fucking thing that Y/OS/N did!"

Your mother's eyes widen and she says, "Curse one more time in my house and you will never be allowed back in."

You stare at her and say, "Fine. Fuck you, Mom. Fuck you for ever comparing me to Y/OS/N and fuck you for never being proud of me even though I've achieved the same success as she did." You look at your siblings. "Go upstairs and pack a suitcase. I'm taking you two with me."

They nod and run upstairs. You slam your silverware down on the table and you stand up. Your mother says, "That is not how you talk to your mother, Y/N."

You cry, "You have not been my mother since my sister died. Not the way that you've been treating me."

As you walk away, you hear Kyle say, "She's grieving too. She knows that it should have been her too, and she'll carry that with her for the rest of her life. She doesn't need her mother of all people telling her that it should've been her in the plane instead of Y/OS/N. Her sister was her best friend and she lost a lot that day too."

Your sister and brother walk down the stairs and you look at them. Your sister runs to you and hugs you. Your brother hugs you too. You hug them back.

Kyle walks out into the foyer and you look up at him. He says, "Come on. I'll change our flights to tonight and we can be down in Florida by midnight. We'll buy Y/S/N and Y/B/N some clothes when we get back to Orlando."

You nod, leaving the house with Kyle and your siblings.

***

It's right after midnight when you, Kyle, and your siblings get back to the house you share with Kyle.

You moved in with Kyle about six months ago after a year or so of dating. The house is three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and two floors. You sigh as you walk in the door.

Kyle sets your siblings up in the guest bedrooms as you go and lay in your bedroom. You finally change out of the dress and get into one of Kyle's shirts. You curl into a ball and let out what you've been holding in.

Your face is in your pillow and your makeup is being cried off your face.

The door to the bedroom closes and Kyle sighs, "Your siblings are in bed and they're both all set up in their rooms."

You sit up and look at Kyle. He looks at you and his face falls. He grabs a box of tissues and you say, "I'm a mess, I'm sorry." You take a tissue and wipe your makeup stained tears away.

"You're okay," he says, sitting next to you. "It's okay to cry, Y/N. You don't have to be strong every day, especially after what you have been through."

You crawl over onto Kyle's lap and say, "I feel broken, Kyle. I have since my sister died in that plane crash. I feel like I haven't healed at all."

"Hey," Kyle says. "I promise you that you're not broken, Y/N. You're sad, you're grieving, but you're not broken."

You start to cry softly and say, "I miss her, Kyle. Why couldn't it have been me instead of her?"

Kyle says, "Don't say that. Please don't. I need you here. Your sister and your brother need you here. The WWE Universe needs you here. Adam, Roderick, and Bobby need you here. Don't let your mother tell you otherwise."

You look up at Kyle. He wipes your tears away with his thumbs. You say, "I love you, Kyle. I'm so in love with you."

Kyle smiles at you and says, "I love you too, Y/N. I need you here. Selfishly, a part of me is glad you were on that plane because I don't know what I would do without you."

You lean in and press a lingering kiss to his lips. Kyle kisses you back before he pulls back and says, "Marry me."

"Kyle," you say, meeting his eyes.

He says, "I'm serious. Marry me. You can come to my family's house in Canada for holidays, we can spend the rest of our lives doing this. I love you, and I want to start a family with you."

You don't hesitate to nod and say, "Yes. I'll marry you, Kyle."

Kyle smiles and kisses you. You smile into the kiss. You smile for real for the first time in a very long time.

That smile doesn't leave your lips as you lay with Kyle in bed, cuddles up to him. He holds you in his arms and your legs are intertwined with his.

His fingers run through your hair. Your eyes are closed and he says, "I don't have a ring yet, by the way. I didn't even know that I was going to propose until I did."

You giggle and say, "We'll go ring shopping eventually. I just want to lay with you right now."

Kyle shifts a bit and gets comfortable. You smile and begin to doze off.

"Merry Christmas, baby," Kyle whispers. "I forgot to tell you at midnight."

You mumble, "Merry Christmas, Kyle."

Then you fall asleep.

[zoffra]

Why Hisoka decided to kill the troupe ?

Analysis in two parts:

1- Hisoka's pre-fight personality

2- Hisoka's post fight psychological change

Part 1 -

Let us make a point on Hisoka's character.

Hisoka's a character who takes pleasure in fighting strong opponents, it's his reason for living, it's like a drug in the proper sense of the term. If he doesn't fight for a long time, or if he's about to fight and - for whatever reason - the fight doesn't start, he'll kill anyone to satisfy his need and calm his excitement. This happens, for example, during hunter exam after meeting Kurapika and Leorio (= satisfying his need), or after Illumi's meeting with Killua and Alluka (= calming his excitement).

Other than that, he carefully chooses his opponents and will even refuse fights if he judges that the person isn't worth it.

Hisoka's incredibly patient. In order to fight Chrollo, he'll put in a lot of effort. He joins the spiders - which already isn't an easy task - and waits for three years that an opportunity presents itself, so that he finds himself alone with the leader and can fight him. The other members don't interest him - except maybe Machi to a much lesser extent.

After Chrollo lost his Nen, Hisoka assists the troupe in search for the exorcist. Shizuku assumes that Chrollo promised him a fight in exchange for his help. It's not known how long Chrollo's deprived of his Nen, whats certain is that several months go by.

Abengan's Nen works like this: he invokes a Nen beast whose shape and size varies according to the curse's power posed by his user. The stronger the curse, the longer that will takes time- and you can be sure that Kurapika's chain was far more powerful than Genthru's bomb.

Later, we learn from Gitarakuru that after recovering his Nen, Chrollo fled. During this time, he returned to Meteor city to prepare his fight and steal various capacities - in particular that of the dean, Shalnark and Kortopi. Finally, after all these waiting years, Hisoka's finally rewarded and they'll fight in a place - that Chrollo himself chooses, as floor master : Celestial tower.

I'll not describe the fight, I can only advise those who haven't read the manga to go and find out for themselves. If I could sum it up in one word, it would be 'disappointing'. But not for us, readers, for Hisoka.

Chrollo used sneaky methods, avoiding to maximum close contacts with Hisoka, while sending his puppets to fight for him, waiting for opportunities to hit him critically. Warning! This isn't a criticism, I'm not saying it's something bad, these are just the facts.

We know that Chrollo's calculating and that beyond his extraordinary physical abilities, he distinguishes himself from others by his intelligence. For me, this fight is the very reflection of his personality, calculated like music paper and orchestrated by Chrollo as master of ceremonies.

It's also a nose thumb at the relationship they've always had. Hisoka spent more time killing puppets with no interest to reach Chrollo, rather than fighting him. He finds himself in the situation where he has always been.

At the time of his 'death', Hisoka made a pact with the Nen to bring him back to life. By using condition and oath - his death being the condition to be fulfilled - he wish that his heart's functions and his lungs will be restored. And from there, the troupe will have big problems.

Part 2 -

Spiders made several mistakes. When they inspected Hisoka's body, they were negligent. When Shalnark testified to Hisoka's death by asphyxiation, no one found his hands position strange. By that I mean they're seasoned Nen users, cold-blooded killers, they know that Nen gets stronger after death.

An important detail is that you can revive a suffocation victim - it shouldn't last too long of course, but it's not as if his head was cut off. And that's exactly what Hisoka will do.

He probably used Ken to absorb the explosion, surrounded his heart and his lungs with his Gum, then practiced a cardiac massage to resuscitate himself, - I pass about after-effects that his brain would normally have undergone, which is an ease logical scenario.

Machi said one interesting thing: '[Hisoka] still paid me in advance.' This means that she was in contact with him before, and Hisoka asked her to stitch up his wounds after the fight. Machi probably understood it as 'if I win the fight, can you heal me', but for Hisoka there was probably a double meaning: healing his wounds if they were too serious so that he do himself, or if he hadn't been in fit state to do it.

Biggest mistake spiders have made has been to underestimate Hisoka.

Towards fight's end (chap 355) when a puppets horde rush towards him, Hisoka has an angry expression. Hisoka's neutral facial expression is a mischievous pout, or in fights where he has to fight seriously, he has a concentrated expression.

It's extremely rare to see him angry, and I think his change of mind manifests himself at that time. Hisoka's face takes half a page's place and is a terrifying blackness, it's an important moment. All accumulated frustration since years literally explodes during this bitter taster fight.

When he wakes up, we don't immediately notice his change of mind, but when he speaks it's clearer.

'Reality knows how to wake you up.' Hisoka realizes - if not already done - that he'll not be able to defeat Chrollo with his usual methods.

A little higher, I said the trio had underestimated Hisoka but I also think of Chrollo. During the fight he was arrogant, explaining his abilities, inviting him to flee and then, telling him that isn't to taunt him - you can't make me believe thats true.

'If you've learned your lessons from this, then next time make sure to choose your opponent and the location you fight.' Machi's words complete Hisoka's decision, it was clearly not the thing to say to him at this precise moment.

This how Hisoka's change of mind worked for me. Hisoka's an irrational person but he killed with a certain consistent logic - strong ones who deserve his attention. His death - more precisely, circumstances of the fight leding to his death - played a major role in his transformation. He's no longer undefeated and has been ridiculed, Chrollo practically whistling when he sent his puppets against him.

'No matter where they go and who they are with, I won't stop until I kill them all' It's revenge.

His actions are no longer directed by the will to fight strong adversaries, they're guided by the outright brigade eradication.

Strangely, he leaves Machi alive. Don't tell me thats because he just wants she getting her message across to the other members, there were a thousand ways to warn Chrollo and the others without leaving her alive - and considering the awkward position she was in, he could have kill her without slightest concern. - In an interview, Togashi says that he didn't want to kill her at that time because he has other plans for her.

Kortopi was visibly relieving himself when he was killed. He was a pointless opponent for Hisoka, especially considering the situation in which he found himself. This proves once again his change of mind, it's a method of murderer.

Same method when he sends Kortopi's head to Shalnark. At that moment, Shalnark grabs his friend's head - which is edifying of stupidity - to verify that it's him, and Hisoka punches him.

On several occasions, I've read some people would have liked to see a real Shalnark vs Hisoka fight. But we had it, and difference in strength is too great. At that moment, it's true that Shalnark couldn't use his Hatsu, nevertheless he could still use his Nen but he didn't even had time to defend himself with his Ten.

We don't know if Hisoka kills Shalnark in one blow, it's possible that he survived for a moment. However, this isn't what the staging seems to evoke. The fight literally takes a half page, speed with which Hisoka starts the fight and shock's power when he hits Shalnark leaves no doubt as to the fight speed end. In addition, even though Hisoka's Nen strengthened, he was seriously injured - he was able to repair his limbs in appearance, but he has no healing ability like Machi or quick regeneration like an enhancer.

The last chapter page sounds like a real turning point. We knew Hisoka was sadistic, he likes to torture his opponents psychologically (cf: Kastro fight, Goto), but we had never seen him at work physically. After his fight, he took the trouble to stage the Shalnark's and Kortopi corpses, tying Shalnark to the swing like a puppet, refering to his ability and his fight against Chrollo.

Chapter ends abruptly with a sentence / thought from Hisoka: 'There are 10 left.'

Number 10 is interesting. At that moment, members still alive are the following: Phinks, Feitan, Machi, Kalluto, Nobunaga, Shizuku, Franklin, Bonorenov and Chrollo.

That makes 9. I consider that - even if he didn't see her die - Hisoka is aware of the Pakunoda's death. He spent a lot of time with members at Greed Island and Chrollo, it's impossible that he didn't learn it.

The 10th member is therefore Illumi - reader learns of his membership in the troupe only 20 chapters later -, he was therefore recruited before Hisoka announced his vendetta against spiders.

Last point I wanted to emphasize: when Hisoka says 'there is 10 left', he includes Chrollo. This shows that he no longer puts him on a pedestal, seeing him as the head or someone important. It's simply a leg to be eliminated.

Hisoka's personality has radically changed, he has finished playing.

[iceslushii]

So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.

So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.

It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.

Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.

Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.

Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.

You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".

Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".

If I ever get out o

Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.

So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.

They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.

Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!

Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.

The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.

Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.

Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.

Years.

[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]

Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.

Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.

We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.

Oops, asking the journal questions again!

I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.

I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.

The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.

We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.

Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.

Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.

Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.

A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.

The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.

I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.

Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.

It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.

One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.

No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.

Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.

I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.

But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.

The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.

Well. That was a fun train of thought.

Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.

Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.

We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.

Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.

Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.

The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.

Exchange is

I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.

It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.

I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.

My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.

Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye