#because i'm lame
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I just noticed, in your HHStargazers AU no one has pupils - except for Alastor and, if she's canon, Carmilla. Does that mean slit pupils are a sign of a demon in disguise?
Good eye! 👈👈👀 (Pun unintended.) Though I don't really plan for this trait to be repeatedly shared amongst the disguised demons. Mostly to not limit my designs to an obvious tell. But the slit pupils were indeed intentional flaws I added in for those two in particular. Because according to MY headcanon, both angels and demons are beings beyond human comprehension. Thus, it's only to be expected that even when they TRY to fit in, they'll be unable to keep EVERY aspect of their uncanny nature concealed. At best, they're imperfect imitations of what "normal" should be. It just so happens that in my AU, angels have a much easier time concealing most of their little quirks and oddities away than the sinners for my own reasons and as for WHY no one ever grew suspicious of the eye thing, it's because Charlie's curiosity could be easily curved. While for Lucius to point this out, he'll have to admit that he's been staring at Alastor's eyes a lot whenever he gets close enough to drown in the depths of his gaze and- EHEM!!! Which he's NEVER done, mind you! AhahaHAH- What slit pupils??? Never noticed those before. Nuh-uh. NO siree. NOPE! Lucius is normally so, SO normal about Alastors VERY much normal eyes in a TOTALLY normal amount of normal. A-ANYWAAAYS!!! Lucius would also be a hypocrite if he was bothered by them considering his own occupation and the people he's usually surrounded by (yet to be revealed). As for the other humans, Alastor doesn't care enough about their opinions for it to be a threat to him and people often just avoid the guy unnerving them with his creepy ass stare. So it's all good! Hope you like these bonus fun facts! 'Cause I have a feeling I left you with just as much questions as answers, but that's the fun of an ongoing story, yeah? Stay tuned~! 😉✨️ -Bubbly💙
#spacebubblearts#HHStargazersAU#hazbin alastor#human au#sort of#chaggie#radioapple#appleradio#Asks#thanks for asking!#doodle#gave ya'll some lore crumbs and headcanons while ya'll wait#hope it's worth it#world building#lore#word vomit#hazbin hotel#dad jokes#because I'm lame#sorry for being such a nerd#info dump#hope that wasn't too overwhelmingly boring#ramble#god I share too much#ahh but I have too many ideas#if I had a nickle for everytime I accidentally think of an eye pun and use it on a radioapple post#I'd have two nickles#which isn't much#but its weird that it happened twice#bare with me people I am cringe
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Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.
It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).
It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.
(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).
It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).
It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.
It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.
It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.
She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)
It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.
It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.
Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.
On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)
#txt#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#ena5#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#25 ji nightcord de#niigo#n25#mizuena#i'll tag it for the shippers too bc why not they'll enjoy this#closing my eyes and hitting post because on one hand i want to keep editing this because it's a mess but if i spend another minute on this#I Will explode#physically i have moved on mentally i am still staring at that damn card on my monitor while the music swells and mizuki is wailing out#that damn image has like actually rearranged my brain chemistry it's not even funny#i'm so fucking weak for this specific character dynamic/relationship yeah it might be cliche yeah i'm lame whatever#but like. FUCKKKK THEY DID IT SO WELL. THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE. they put so much care into mizuki as a character it's crazy#oh mizuki. i hope you find peace and happiness.#i hope you look around you and the people you've surrounded yourself with one day and realize that you've found safety#anyways yeah sorry this is incomprehensible nonsense also sorry if the pronouns were confusing i hc she/they for mizuki#y'know partway through writing this i half considered turning this around into a fic but like. nahhhhh. tumblr text word vomit it is#sorry about the *checks* 1.4K word text ramble. but thanks for reading if you got here B))
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이젠 내게 기대 편히 쉬어도 돼 // Now you can lean on me and rest in peace 소중한 널 내 품속에 꼭 안을게 // I will hold you dear in my arms
#moonbin#moon bin#astro#*ambiv.art#here is my gift to you dear moonbin... to celebrate the joy you brought to your fans both on and off stage#and the millions of hearts that you have touched including mine. thank you .. i hope you sleep well 🌙☁️#tonight is especially dark because there's a new moon in the sky....i knew this in my bones without even looking outside or checking online#(but i did anyways. and then i looked up that other date and it was the same...💔)#to everyone who sees this... i'm hugging you firmly 💞 please take care. it's lame but drink lots of water it really does help 🥺#caption is lyrics from sanha's solo Wish ☹️🫶#*1k#*2k#*3k
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had another consult w Dr. Boobs about my reduction to check on my healing progress, and I continue to get a good grade in boobs
#healing is going well!!#he says they look great and i've been advised to basically do whatever I want#but he does want me to keep wearing bras which is semi lame because I've been freeboobing it#but since these little thangs don't weigh anything anymore it's not that big a deal#i am very much chilling#sergle.txt#he says he'd be surprised if I had much scarring at all by a couple years out Based On My Genetics#but I'm pretty sure he keeps forgetting that I'm NOT a natural ginger#so I think he's factoring that in. because I do such a good job making it look real rn
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friend kept yelling at me to make a spn oc so here he is
#milosartstuff#spn oc#supernatural oc#his name is josh and he's a cool werewolf instead of the lame ones they have in the show Because I'm biased. he wants to eat castiel because#he has wings and that means he's a pigeon. all angels apply to this logic. He eats birds. he is decimating the local wildlife ppopulatio
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badly frankensteins the thing
#i forgot to put the underbelly back whoops#oh well#timelapse included to show that originally i didn't think it needed wings but it didn't read dragony enough#i think it's perfectly possible for a wingless FR dragon but the thing i made just there needed something#maybe big spikes or something#uhh what else#i gave it baragon ears because i hate how few fr dragons have EARS#PUT EARS ON THE BEAST#BIG OL EARS#the spike is not necessary i'm not afraid of the baldness it is also a baragon thing lol#i haven't even scried a single one of these guys but i do realize that they have a lot of terts that play with their baldness#but i think that's lame i dont think that they should look like naked paper dolls before you put a tert on them#oh also i wanted it to be kinda bipedal#too many quadrupeds in this menagerie
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remember how in dao there were always like multiple flirty options u could just spring on ur love interest and it wasn't something that was brushed past it would stop a conversation dead in its tracks to have a cute secondary flirty offshoot with small variations dependent on the flirty option u initially chose with a unique course correction to get back on topic after...... yeah.
#sorry i'm about to be a hater#romance in datv is like. a vaguely flirty line met by an even vaguer response that has no impact on the conversation#in the beginning at least#only once your relationship is like 6 or 7 does it get a little more receptive#and the whole time it's like okay i completed a main quest. time to talk to the love interest. okay i did another main quest. time to talk#to the love interest. BC YOU CAN'T TALK TO THEM OUTSIDE OF DESIGNATED CUTSCENES. U CAN'T HAVE RANDOM CONVERSATIONS#A LA HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A LAMPPOST IN WINTER!!! THAT IS SO LAME!!!!!!!! SO COOKIE CUT!!!!!!!!!#there's so few references to your relationship at all really. the romance cutscenes could be removed and u would never know they're in love#the romance doesn't exist outside of designated cutscenes. you can't choose to randomly flirt you must wait for The Cutscenes because#there's only one way to romance everybody. even dai was better with this imo even though the formula is similar#partly bc u can get to know everyone outside of exclusive cutscenes?? you can just approach them at anytime and get to know them?? and find#a chance to flirt?? and there's teeny tiny special romance-specific moments carved out. like the dance after halamshiral for example#and again people TALK about your romance. it's present in the narrative#bioware is so known for their romances but they dropped the ball hard here and i'm sooooooooo disappointed#and actually?? companions barely ever interject during main quests too?? or quests at all?? just as a side note#companions should be voicing their OPINIONSSSSS when i make choices????#davrin should have had so much to say during weisshaupt cutscenes. like what the fuck was that#and why wasn't there a one-on-one conversation discussing his mortality with him beforehand?? would have liked to see that??#relationship growth in this game is purely waiting for the next milestone and it feels so stale and lackluster and upsetting and ugh#the fact that giving your companions gifts strictly results in approval gain and one measly thank you is indicative of everything wrong#anyways.txt#jasmine plays datv#da4 spoilers
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KP ANNIVERSARY week 3: Favourite romantic relationships
KimChay
#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#kinnporsche fanart#kpappreciation#kimchay#kim theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd#jeff satur#barcode tinnasit#bl tag#userpharawee#this is super rushed and lame but the week is almost over and I really wanted to draw them for once#because I don't draw them enough and this was a good excuse#funnily enough (not funny at all actually) every time I draw Big someone is like 'oh I thought this was Kim!!'#I wonder if the reverse is also true and someone will think this is Big#if they do I'm going to start biting people
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for tempustober2023 day 3: red riding hood
#tempustober2023#vtuber#holostars#holotempus#regis altare#wake me up (wake me up inside)#simple one today because I spent all day playing stardew with my bro#and I'm valid for that I think#also bro. on the off chance you see this. OUR CROPS ARE DYING#COME BACK#OUR MELONS ARE IN PERIL#btw I thought I was so cool doing altare for this prompt. I'm so lame#AND WHAT OF IT#I'M CRINGE AND FREE
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— SHE’D DO ANYTHING FOR ME
pairing: Imogen Kol (oc) x Bix Caleen rating: Mature words: 3.3k warnings: possessive behavior, codependency, fight and make up summary: tfw when your ex finds your taste in women extremely questionable
notes: this is another older-ish one that I feel compelled to post on its own.
Everything felt so... calm and peaceful. In the same way the sky looks before a storm. Imogen should be fleeing for her life or at the very least preparing herself for the inevitable destruction. But she didn't — she couldn't.
All she managed was to lie in bed beside the woman she fought so hard not to love. The warmth of her body half draped over Imogen's after a night of passion. It was such a simple thing, to have her beloved's head rest against her chest and feel their breaths as one, yet she could not recall ever feeling so content.
Destruction might just be worth it.
Bix trailed her fingertips along her bare collarbone which caused Imogen to smile. Her own caress lightly traveled up and down the mechanic's spine in aimless patterns. It even felt extraordinary to touch her just for the sake of it.
"I'm starting to believe you actually like waking up next to me," Bix said in a lighthearted tone.
"I have always desired this," Imogen admitted softly, tilting her head enough to nuzzle against hers.
"Meaning you've always been afraid of this."
Imogen tensed. The hard-wired urge to pull away and fiercely deny such an accusation threatened to overcome her, but there was no sense in refuting the truth any longer. Not from Bix. Gradually, the bounty hunter willed her muscles to ease. She wondered how long it would take to train these instincts out of her. "If we... truly commit to one another –"
Bix's fingers suddenly twitched into a fist against Imogen's skin. "If?"
"No," Imogen quickly corrected herself. "No more ifs. What I mean to say is... Well, I have a lot to learn."
"So do I. So does everyone," Bix stated matter-of-factly. She leaned up on her elbow and met the other woman's apprehensive expression. "You're here. You're trying. That's all that really matters to me."
A strand of dark hair dangled over the mechanic's cheek. Imogen reached out and delicately tucked it behind her ear. She took in the unobscured beauty of her beloved for a few prolonged beats, her thumb tracing some of those features that left her in awe.
"I am quite certain there is one thing in this galaxy that I would not be able to bear," Imogen muttered under her breath – almost to herself.
Bix moistened her lips as she inched closer. "And what's that?"
A rhythmic knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Along with a gruff voice that called out "Bix? It's me."
Imogen hoped her glare would burn right through the durasteel to strike Cassian down.
"Hang on!" Bix called back. With an exasperated sigh, she slumped down and hid her face in the crook of Imogen's neck for a beat before she forced herself up. At the sight of the bounty hunter's less than pleased expression, Bix said "Don't start anything. I’m not in the mood to deal with either of your shit today."
"He still draws breath, does he not? That is the extent of my manners," Imogen replied curtly as Bix hastily dressed herself. She, too, summoned a great effort to follow her out of bed and do the same. "Unless he wishes to apologize for aiming a blaster at my heart."
"You held your lightsaber at his throat."
"He drew on me first."
Bix rolled her eyes, though Imogen caught the upturn at the corner of her mouth before she turned towards the door. "Come in."
The both of them hadn't quite finished dressing. Cassian entered as Bix fastened the waistband of her pants at the same moment Imogen pulled a shirt over her head. He halted mid-step, his gaze shifting between the two women as if a complicated equation did not add up. Though, the scene before him must have been fairly obvious.
"What is it, Cass?" Bix impatiently urged.
"I just... wanted to talk to you." Cassian's answer came out distracted. His eyes lingered on the bounty hunter.
Imogen looked to Bix expectantly and received a nod. A part of her had hoped that she would have been allowed to remain in the room, but she understood why Bix dismissed her. Without another word, Imogen collected her coat in one hand and intended to make her exit when an impulse emerged. She would not have Cassian misinterpret anything here, not if she had any say in it.
In a few strides, Imogen went to Bix and pulled her in by the back of her neck. While their lips met with intention, it was no less soft or passionate than the kisses they shared in private. Imogen indulged in a few strokes and had to fight not to get lost in the sensations, nearly forgetting the witness she intended to show for.
Once Imogen pulled away, she gave Bix a parting caress and said "I will come find you later."
The mechanic had a knowing glint in her eye, but she nodded again. "Alright."
Cassian had not moved and the nature of his continued gaze turned from dumbfounded to outright suspicion. Imogen glared right back at him as she made her way towards the door. He stood far enough into the room that she could have easily maneuvered around him, but she instead shoved her shoulder into his as she walked past. Just to make sure her point came across clearly.
Cassian let it happen and she exited the room with an air of confidence.
Despite having been dismissed, Imogen’s curiosity compelled her to linger just outside the door. Cassian could be there to simply check up on his friend, or he could be there to stir up tension. Either way, Imogen didn’t trust his judgment or his motives and prepared to intervene if she must.
She leaned against the wall next to the door and shut her eyes to focus her hearing as best as she could past the thick durasteel wall. Through the Force, she could pinpoint each of their positions and the vibration of their voices became clear in her ears.
“I didn’t realize you two were back to your original arrangement,” Cassian said.
“We’re not,” Bix replied curtly.
“No? Then what was all that about?”
“We’re trying something different.”
Cassian scoffed. “Different. With her?”
“Yeah. With her,” Bix asserted and Imogen sensed that she placed her hands on her hips as irritation began to swell in the mechanic’s chest.
“Alright then.”
“Look, did you just come in here to rag on my personal life choices or was there actually a point to this conversation?”
“I’m not ragging,” he insisted, shrugging his shoulders defensively. “I just – I don’t get it.”
“Well, you sound pretty judgmental. Which is rich coming from you, Cass.”
“At least I haven’t slept with an Imperial Inquisitor.”
“She’d do anything for me.”
Cassian did not try to hide his disdain. “Where have I heard that before?”
“Imogen is not Timm,” Bix snapped.
Under normal circumstances, Imogen would never allow anyone to come to her defense. All that mattered was that she had enough power to stand up for herself. And yet… she realized that no one ever has spoken up for her in any capacity. The utter conviction in Bix’s statement filled her with an unexpected swell of pride.
“No,” Cassian agreed patronizingly. “Timm never waved a red laser sword in anyone’s face.”
The jab only seemed to antagonize the mechanic more. “What is your problem?”
The two of them struggled to keep their tones leveled, but as tensions grew, so did their volume. Even in an enclosed space, their disagreement would certainly be heard by anyone that walked by. Imogen didn’t even have to hold her focus through the Force to hear them clearly any longer. Cassian must not have cared because he knew many others held the same prejudices against Imogen that he did. Bix clearly had no issue voicing her opposite opinion.
Imogen loved her for it.
“I don’t know, I just,” he stammered over his argument once again and sighed. “I think there are better options out there –”
“What, like you?”
“Come on, you know that isn’t what I’m trying to say.”
“Then what are you trying to say? Explain it to me.”
Imogen’s patience for eavesdropping wore thin and the discomfort she sensed in Bix only made her own anger rise. The bounty hunter pushed away from the wall and took an assertive step towards the room, fully intending to assure Cassian of her permanence at Bix’s side, but his next words made her hesitate.
“I’m worried for you, being with someone like that,” he said earnestly
There was a pause. Bix did not abandon her stern tone, but Imogen heard it soften ever so slightly as she responded. “She won’t do anything that I don’t ask her to do.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m worried about.”
“Oh, so you’re afraid of me now, too?”
“I’m afraid of how she’ll change you.”
Another tense beat of silence passed between the two of them. Imogen absorbed Cassian’s words and they left a bitter taste on her mouth. He sounded like Cal, making it seem as if darkness only corrupted. Darkness could bring strength. Darkness could bring power. Imogen would not change Bix, Bix would change herself into whatever she needed to be. That is what Cassian truly feared, whether he realized it or not.
“I’ve already changed. And Imogen had nothing to do with it. So do us both a favor and mind your fucking business from now on,” Bix said firmly.
The mechanical door suddenly slid open and Bix came into view as she stormed away from the conversation, coming up short once she spotted Imogen. Her eyes widened slightly and she quickly glanced behind her, but Cassian hadn’t made his retreat from the room yet.
“Are you alright?” Imogen asked. The urge to confront Cassian herself remained, though she doubted any of her intentions towards him would improve his reservations about her.
Bix continued to briskly walk away, reaching out for Imogen’s waist to usher them along — or more likely move her as far away from Cassian as they could get in order to avoid a possible blood feud. “How much of that did you hear?”
“All of it,” Imogen casually admitted.
“Don’t let it get to you, alright?” Bix rubbed her hand up and down Imogen’s back. Whether her intentions were to pacify herself or the dangerous woman next to her, it was difficult to say. Imogen still accepted her touch.
“While he made a fool of himself… some of his concerns are not entirely unfounded,” she said slowly.
Bix shot her a deeply confused look. “Are you saying you care what Cassian thinks?”
“No,” Imogen replied with a scoff. “I simply mean that he harbors the same judgments everyone else holds against me. I have accepted them long ago and so should you, lest that scowl overstays its welcome.”
The mechanic shook her head bitterly, ignoring Imogen’s attempt to lighten her mood. “They just don’t know you.”
“And they never will. Not like you do.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Bix pointed out as she came to a stop in a secluded corner of the hallway. “All he sees is the Inquisitor.”
Imogen tried not to roll her eyes. “I have nothing to prove to him or anyone else. Why should I waste my time with such an endeavor? Especially when they are not wrong.”
“They are wrong.”
“No, they aren’t. Not about me. Not about us.” Imogen placed her hands on Bix’s arms. Her caress had a sort of melancholy that lingered in the small smile across her lips. “I do not believe I am the best option for you, but I will be yours for as long as you’ll have me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bix asked incredulously and shook off her touch.
Imogen felt a tightness at the back of her throat. She moistened her lips and swallowed with difficulty, her voice hollow. “Have you considered that your feelings for me might be influenced by gratitude? By the simple fact that I got to you first on Ferrix? Would it not be Cassian’s embrace you’d wish to fall into every night had it been him?”
It deeply pained Imogen to voice an insecurity that she had failed to bury. The way Bix had looked at her differently since Ferrix filled Imogen with a warmth that she had never experienced before, but she could not shake the whisper at the back of her mind that gradually became another scream in the cacophony. A part of her did not care if it was true, she would be grateful to have Bix in any capacity. But the much larger part that truly loved her felt she needed to hear those words.
An intense and furious expression twisted Bix’s features as her body stiffened. She fixed Imogen with such a hard look that the bounty hunter nearly took a step back.
“Fuck you,” Bix said with a shocking amount of venom. Imogen realized her grave mistake, then, and it felt like a harsh slap to the face. “And fuck what you’re insinuating.”
“Bix–”
“And I’ll tell you why you’re wrong,” she continued fiercely and took an assertive step towards Imogen, entering her space. It wasn’t until that moment that Imogen noticed she had, in fact, backed away. “What I feel for you was there before all of this. So, despite what you might think of me, I won’t just fall for the first fucking person who comes to my rescue!”
Imogen’s gaze became downcast in shame before she responded softly “Forgive me. I misspoke.”
“You sure did,” Bix snarled bitterly. She turned to walk away and Imogen felt conflicted on whether or not she should follow.
She refrained from pursuit, but she couldn’t help calling out after her. “You know I don’t truly think that.”
Bix hesitated. Some of the tension dispersed from her shoulders as she released a weary sigh and glanced back. “You still don’t believe that I can love you for you. I thought we were past this, Imogen.”
“I do not doubt you.”
“Some part of you does.”
“Maybe… But I swear not to give voice to those thoughts ever again.” She dared a step towards the mechanic.
Bix held up a hand to stop her. “Look, first it was Cassian and now it’s you, just… give me some time, okay?”
Imogen hated Cassian. And she wasn’t particularly fond of herself at the moment, either. She conceded. “Of course.”
As she watched Bix walk away, Imogen felt the invisible tether between them tighten. Disbelief filled the pit of embarrassment in her gut as she tried to make sense of what just happened. She knew better. Imogen knew better and still she plucked out the most absurd thought from the back of her mind and spoke it out loud like a witless scoundrel. If her utter foolishness is what finally made the tether snap, she would never forgive herself.
Hours passed and Imogen kept herself scarce until evening approached and she could sequester herself to the comfort of her own ship. Though, The Huntress felt far colder and emptier than it ever has before.
Imogen ate a quick supper and prepared for bed early. As she settled into the cot, silence sounded more unbearable than a cacophony of tangled voices. The longer she stewed in the memory of her own foolish words, the more Imogen felt like she could hear the shouting of those imaginary voices at the back of her mind. Some sounded like her own voice. Others sounded like her Master. They sounded like Vader. They sounded like Cal.
They sounded like Bix.
After a while — or an eternity — Imogen groaned and sat up in the cot, swinging her legs over the side and contemplating numerous methods to get her brain to shut off. All felt fruitless.
Then she sensed a familiar presence approach, making her spine perk up like an alert animal.
The entrance to The Huntress whooshed open and Bix trudged in, looking as exhausted and dejected as Imogen felt. The bounty hunter couldn’t deny the immediate feeling of serenity at the sight of her lover, but she still gripped the edge of the cot and half expected another round of disciplining.
The mechanic came to a stop before her and crossed her arms, appearing less stern than earlier, but Imogen still noted the twitch of her jaw. They simply breathed in the tense air for a few long beats until she finally spoke.
“You didn’t come to bed.” Bix tried to hide it, but she sounded hurt.
“You asked for time,” Imogen replied pointedly.
The mechanic sighed as she stared down at the floor and shook her head. “I didn’t mean the whole night, I’m sorry.”
“You should not apologize.”
“I want to,” Bix insisted as she stepped closer to the cot. Her fingers twitched in a subtle fidget at her sides. “What you said earlier –”
“Was careless.”
“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “Yeah, it was. But I know you didn’t mean it that way. I’ve been thinking about it and you’re not entirely wrong. Well, you are when it comes to Cassian, but about gratitude...” Bix’s shoulders lifted as she took in a deep breath, her gaze shifting over the interior of the ship that she knew as well as her own home back on Ferrix. “I’ve always wanted to be near you, but after everything you’ve done for me, it feels less like a want and more like a need. I don’t know, but I start to lose my mind a little bit when you’re gone. Even with how upset I was earlier, a part of me still hoped you’d come after me.”
Imogen took a quiet moment to contemplate the confession. She understood Bix’s words because she had seen the evidence. All that she missed was the true extent of her suspicion. But before Imogen allowed her emotions to settle, she offered one single question.
“Does that bother you?”
“No,” Bix answered confidently and closed the distance between them. She reached out and took a strand of Imogen’s hair between her fingers. “Does it bother you?”
It should, her thoughts responded immediately without voicing it. Imogen recognized this attachment had grown to an intensity Bix did not have full control over. She recognized it because it was the same attachment she had within herself. As if Bix were a vital organ her body would not survive without.
Could Imogen’s devotion still be pure in that case? Did it matter? It certainly did not feel like it did when her beloved gazed down at her with a mixture of adoration and concern.
“No,” Imogen said and accepted that for all it could possibly mean.
A small smile of relief brightened the mechanic’s features. “Good,” she said. Bix placed her hands on Imogen’s shoulders and pulled herself down onto the bounty hunter’s lap. “Because I’m done arguing with people about loving you.”
Imogen’s arms automatically wrapped around Bix’s waist to keep her close. She grew weary of the discourse as well, but she did not wish to see Bix angry with those she held dear – no matter how much Imogen detested them. “They argue because they care.”
“I know.” Bix leaned in until their foreheads touched, her hands coming up to rest against Imogen’s cheeks. “But they should see how you make me feel.”
Imogen felt her face flush with a warm grin at that. “You were right earlier.”
“About what?”
Their lips brushed together. Chaste at first. More of an innocent expression of her fondness. Then Imogen tightened her grip around the woman in her embrace as she deepened the kiss. Many emotions were conveyed in the cadence she led. Her kiss was possessive as she lightly nipped at Bix’s lower lip. It was passionate as the tip of her tongue greeted hers. It was desperate as short breaths escaped their lungs and tickled their skin. It was everything.
Imogen finally pulled back, but only the smallest amount to utter her answer. “I would do anything for you.”
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#oc insp: imogen kol#ship insp: if i had a heart#prompts: if I had a heart#bix caleen#I love writing Imogen having beef with men tbh#I’d say Imogen and Cassian may develop a bit of a frenemy dynamic similar to Cal but she would never view Cass on the same level as Cal#in her mind Cassian is extra lame because he can’t even move things with his mind so why would she bother having fun w him#nah. Cal is the only Tom to her Jerry. unfortunately for him.#she’ll just begrudgingly accept that Cass is important to Bix#and try to be satisfied with her fantasies about killing him since he's off limits#sorry for reposting old writing. feel free to ignore for those that have already read parts of this#I'm mostly trying to organize my writing a little more/preserving the stuff I do like before it gets altered in the final fic
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Just read "an in-character Dazai would never let Chuuya top". Ya'll, Dazai likes to call himself a princess and nearly get cities nuked just to have Chuuya be his prince and come rescue him. What's not clicking??
#this is an exaggeration#ofcourse I'm not super serious#but this is lesser of the 2 evils cause op also said Atsushi is a lame mc and I do not wanna lose my shit over that rn#so I'm gonna pretend to be lame and fixate on a ship instead#soukoku#they're switches your honour#as in Dazai wants to be coddled and Chuuya switches his plans off#because Chuuya is Dazaiphobic#and in denial
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Emotionally, 23.5 (episode 10) is like a cheaply made puzzle, where like, the edges are cut roughly, so like, you THINK that you have the right pieces next to each other, but when you smush them in, and they don't fit QUITE smoothly enough, you're like, oh maybe there's another piece, but like, you CAN'T find another piece that works, because like, the piece you have in your hand IS the piece that is the right one for the picture you're making, or like, you THINK it is, so like, you keep smushing the pieces together, and you THINK the puzzle makes sense, but you kinda feel like you have the wrong piece, or worse, you're MISSING A BETTER PIECE, because everything's NOT QUITE JIVING.
I hope this post made as much sense as the emotional journey we attempted to take with the script in this last episode. What the FUCK is this script doing to Ongsa? A little more context, some smoother edges, would be really helpful here!
#what the fuck#all of a sudden ongsa's unexplained shit comes back#are we gonna get another i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry for the next episode?#and wave away all the need for more explanation again?#you can't really write this stuff away#we need to know why we need to cheer for these characters hello!#23.5 degrees#23.5#23.5 degrees the series#23.5 the series#milklove#milk pansa#love pattranite#ongsasun#ongsa x sun#sun x ongsa#i'm gonna fucking say it because it's friday and i know it's not related but#i miss inkpa.#so lame but true to what i'm feeling right now#we got like maybe what 15 minutes of inkpa total? 10 MINUTES?#maybe 20 total including our skyy 2 if we were lucky?#and we got way more a story with inkpa including tons of insight into pa's dumbass parents#come on#by episode 11 we need to know why ongsa would be fearful of being out in front of her family#it's too late in the series to find out about this#because a point of the story would be that we'd go through her journey of confronting her insecurities duh!!!#wow i'm mad
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I know they're just a vocal minority, and an extremely small one at that, and I'm not going to tell anyone they can't like a character, but it just baffles me that there are people that try to lionize Shuro/Toshiro when the manga like beats you over the head with the idea that he's a shallow, immature manchild.
#I'm not gonna go into explaining it because I'd be here for hours but like#the dude sucks#he's just kind of pathetic and that's intentional#if Laios is 'guy who's weird but is healthy' then Shuro is his foil as 'guy who is normal but unhealthy'#and that's a good thing! it's good for characters to be lame!#Dungeon Meshi
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good ending! gay love pierces through the veil of death yet again✌🏼
something something man is god to a dog ft. kuwameshi
I'm Your Man, Mitski
#kuwameshi#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#urameshi yusuke#i'm your man#lyric edit#me when yusuke is a dog but kuwabara is his dog in that yusuke's his man and kuwa looks to him with adoration and trust#even if he dies giving him that trust it doesn't falter. crazy#yusuke is sorry just so sorry to be on the receiving end of that because what happens when he ultimately fails?#he wishes kuwa would've picked someone else. someone better. bc even if he wins it's a loss. bc kuwabara is gone.#but ending on angst when kuwa isnt even dead sucks so happy ending!!#''i deserve it. don't i?'' it's still a question at the end. leaving kuwa to decide. because yusuke trusts him too.#trusts his judgement of yusuke. and of course he'd be pardoned#kuwa's very survival is his pardon. the question is answered. they both live. they love.#there's tons i could say on the thought process that went into each cap but yknow. yapping lmao#sorry if this is lame or wtv i just couldn't stop thinking about it#i got all the screencaps from the source! i was about to painstakingly take screenshots but they already exist yay!!#qeued post
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people will be like i hate taash because they're sooo immature, unlike my babygirl pookie bear emmrich 😍 who told on them to his boss 🫡 because they called him a skull fucker death mage 😤 which is not nice 😡 and hurt his feelings 😢 he is 55 🥵
#i'm not saying emmrich isn't right to be irritated#but they're both being dicks in that scene#like how many times does taash need to say they don't like necromancy before he stops talking about it to them?#if i was to be as uncharitable as taash haters are i'd say he's doing it on purpose to upset them#and then when they've finally had enough and lash he's like 'omg calm down it's not that serious'#which is obviously not what's happening but anyone can be interpreted as an immature asshole if you choose to read them that way#not emmrich hate btw it's just the example i see cited most often#taash is in their early-mid 20s according to trick weekes and the way ya'll try to make me feel weird for romancing a character who's my age#by insisting they must be a teenager because of shit like this#while simultaneously crying that people are calling emmrich old is so lame and dumb#and is clearly founded in a beautiful misogyny/ableist combo because of their autistic traits#anyway rant over i just get annoyed#not about anyone in particular which i feel the need to say so i don't wake up to hate posts about me again
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#can people please stop calling oliver stark straight lmao#like i'm not even saying he's for sure not but it is very weird to assume that he is just because you're like. mad at him or whatever.#he has always talked about bisexuality with more care and understanding and respect than is typical of a straight person#which is not to say he definitely is or isn't whatever; but i'm saying he seems to Get It on some level#whether that's from personal experience or character research i obviously have no idea but neither do you#and 'straight until proven otherwise' is an extremely lame way to behave. anyway. people who do this are lame.
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