#because i'm coming up with so much stupid shit
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"Shit at this rate we might have to think of another way to take him down! He'll end up hurting Yuji at this point!" Megumi was trying to think of something but with that and many other dangers it was serious. Nobara was trying to help even seeing Yuji being thrown around as he hangs on by the tail.
"We need a plan before-"
"You fucking fuckfaces! You are going to pay for this-"
"MEKO!"
Destroyah looks to see and Meko zooms in as there is someone at the door. What the? "Kazuma?!"
Daichi widens his eyes. Kazuma! What is he doing here?! Megumi and Nobara heard but looks shocked.
'What the hell is he doing here!? He shouldn't be here!' Megumi thought. He was about to talk and ask him why he was here but stops hearing Kazuma saying sorry to Meko?
"What?" Meko blinked. Kazuma sighs, "I'm sorry I treated you like shit, okay? I know I gave you crap! There is no excuse! What are you doing is wrong! Shit! Don't you have a family? Think about your parents or anyone you care about? The kids who enjoy eating your pizzas and they smile at you. Why you gotta kill them?! Why throw all of that away for fame?! Is it worth it?!"
"......"
"......."
Meko became silent inside of Destroyah. "Kazuma...." Meko begins, "You are a fucking idiot!" He laughs. "I did it because it's fun! The only thing I love about is having the power to do whatever I want! That's what jujutsu is! Something like you a normie doesn't understand!"
"You lying!" Daichi growls, "Jujutsu isn't like that! You freaking piece of-"
"Oh! What? You do it to exorcise curses and then what?! Curses come from human emotions right?! Then humans are the worst since they're the ones who give birth to them! So why not?! Why not kill people who piss you off? It's a wonderful feeling!" Meko laughs.
"Daichi is right! Jujutus is not what you think it is! Sure some might think that due to humans being the reason it was made in the first place! Right now, you'll only fueling the cursed energy and you might end up being cursed!" Megumi shouted.
"Ohhhh that even sounds better! Maybe if I kill more and more I'll become even more powerful and have more fun. I can turn the people all over town into my mindless new animatroics. They can be so much better than dumb stupid humans! Then all over the world! There..there they will fear me and see just how amazing I am! They will see me as the best! Hahahahahahaha!!"
"I breached it!" Daichi shouted. The water pressure from Max Elephant's attack is sudden and made some damage on it.
"Good job Daichi!" Megumi shouted seeing that it was true. He was able to breath it. However, now everyone was about to attack once more before seeing Deestoryah ignite his horns and begins attacking wildly.
"EVERYONE DUCK!" Megumi warns seeing everyone moving out the way from the shots. Even seeing Yuji holding onto the tail. He didn't let go while seeing it was slamming around and into the wall. That's when everyone stumbles when feeling the mini-shockwave casing most to fall to the ground.
"Come on..come on!!" Meko shouted trying to get Destoryah to move. However, thanks to the water it was having some trouble. Though, the purple beam was still firing.
#IC#rp reply#short rp thread#silver roses#halloween mission start#fnaf inspired rp#jujutsu kaisen au#yuji itadori#the cursed vessel/jujutsu sorcerer of the damned#megumi fushiguro#shadow jutusu sorcerer/chimera snake#chunibyo-x-sorcerer
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wearing a matching set for eddie smut?
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) body insecurity, body worship, nipple play
There's not really a reason why you bought the lingerie set. It was pretty when you tried it on and it just so happened to that pretty red that Eddie loved to see you in. You wanted to surprise him with it, putting it on top of the t-shirts he stored in the bottom drawer of the dresser you shared.
You're washing dishes when Eddie comes home from work, trying your best to act normal as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head, murmuring a "hey, baby" as he passes by you to head to your shared room to change into some more comfy clothes.
You’re buzzing with excitement as you slowly follow him into the bedroom, leaning against the door frame as you watch him make the discovery, pulling the bright red, thin panties out of the drawer, whistling as he takes a look at them.
"Shit, baby, what are these?" He asks, as he turns towards you. "I'm assuming they're not for me, because," he holds them up to his body and they don't look quite right on him.
"They're for you," you tell him, your cheeks getting warm. "I mean, they're for me to wear for you." You enter the room and stand in front of him, reaching into the drawer to pull out the matching bra.
Eddie's never seen this side of you, but he has to admit that he finds it really hot. Sure, you've worn lingerie for him before, but you've never bought any to specifically wear for him. And that makes him feel special. It makes him feel…hot.
"And what did I do to deserve such special treatment?" He asks, fanning his face dramatically.
"Nothing," you shake your head. "It's for you being you." You press a kiss to his nose then take the underwear from him. "I'm gonna slip into these and you just sit there and look pretty, okay?"
You head into the bathroom and close the door, taking a deep breath as you gingerly take off your clothes, changing into the lingerie, suddenly not feeling as confident as you did in the store earlier.
The cups of the bra seem to be smaller than you remember, more transparent, your tits on full display through the sheer fabric. And the panties are more tight, hugging you in all the wrong places. The whole thing looks ill fitting and now you’re unsure of whether you should change or not.
You stare at your reflection as you fix one of the straps that’s fallen off your shoulder. You almost don’t want to go out there, the idea suddenly feeling stupid to you. But Eddie is waiting and you don’t want to disappoint him.
You slowly exit the bathroom, covering yourself up as much as you can with your hands and arms, but eventually give up, showing yourself to Eddie as he leans back where he’s sitting on the bed, another wolf whistles passing through his lips.
“Baby, you look fucking amazing.” He’s grinning ear to ear and you almost believe him. Almost. He’d never lie to you so you don’t know why you don’t believe him.
“Do I?” You ask genuinely and Eddie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. He doesn’t know why you’re asking. He always thinks you look amazing and is very quick to tell you so.
“Of course you do. Can’t stop looking at you. Hey, what’s wrong?” He notices your frown and rests his hands on his shoulder, his head moving in the direction of yours, trying to get you to look him in the eye.
“Nothing, Eds. Don’t worry about it.” You shake your head before turning it to the side so he can’t see how ashamed you feel.
“Do you not like it? Are you uncomfortable? You don’t have to do this for me. You can change back if that’s what you want. I love you no matter what you wear. You know that.” He wants to know what’s wrong so he can fix it. He hates when you feel anything but happy and wants to do whatever he can to make you feel better.
“Is it too small?”
“Small? No, baby, you look perfect.” His hand moved to one of the cups of your bra, his fingers brushing over the lace. “This, this is nice, but I think I like what’s underneath it even better.”
Eddie pushes the strap off of your shoulder then presses a featherlight kiss to it. He backs you up to the bed as his kisses get hotter and rougher, his lips sucking on your skin as your back collides with the bed.
“Once I’m done with you, you’ll know just how pretty I think you are. Especially when you see all of marks I’m about to leave on you when you look in the mirror.”
Your cheeks flush at his comment and he’s quick to get off of you, rushing to the other side of the room and grabbing something before hurrying back to you.
He straddles your waist and brings a camera up his face, making sure that you’re in the center of the frame.
“Need a photo of my pretty girl so pose for me.”
You do as he says, positioning yourself in a way that you think looks sexy, a pose that you’ve seen in the magazines he reads.
“That’s it,” he says then snaps a photo, the thing printing out of the camera. You take it and set it on the bedside table along with the camera before Eddie lies down on top of you once again.
He leans down and brings your nipple to his mouth, sucking on it through the fabric. You let out a whine and he takes that as an invitation to continue. His hands find yours and he pins them above you as he dives in for more, licking and sucking on the fabric as you moan underneath him, the sounds nothing but hot.
Eddie moves his hands underneath you and unhooks your bra, your tits coming into view and he feels his mouth watering as he stares down at your exposed chest and all of the things he wants to do to it. You’re right there on display for him like an all-you-can-eat buffet and fuck is he hungry.
He goes for your nipple, taking the whole thing into his mouth, flicking it back and forth as he sucks on it, wanting to get a full taste of it. He slides his hands underneath you, holding onto your bare back as he works, trying to giving himself more room, wanting to have his mouth on as much of you as he can.
You’re moaning and whining and he makes sure to press his rock hard cock against you so that you know just how hard you’re making him. That you know that he’s getting just as much enjoyment out of this as you are.
“Fuck,” you whine as he bites down on your nipple, arching into him as he bites down even harder, wanting you to moan as loud as possible so all of your neighbors know exactly how good he makes you feel.
You’re already reaching your orgasm and even though you’re embarrassed by it, Eddie is quick to let you know how good of a girl he thinks you are, how you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to.
“Oh,” you moan loudly as you grab onto him, your nails digging into the back of his shirt. “Oh my god, Eddie.”
“That’s it,” he encourages as he helps you ride out your high. “That’s my girl. Sound so pretty when you moan my name.”
As you’re coming down, he moves lower, loving on every inch of skin he can get his mouth on, nipping and sucking on the parts of you he loves the most, stopping once he gets to your cunt. He spreads your legs wide and you look ready for him, already sopping wet through your panties.
Eddie gets undressed and puts on the first condom he can find before lowering himself onto you once again as he slides into you, pumping in and out slowly, knowing that this is exactly what you need. You want him to make love to you, not fuck you like he always does. You want him to show you just how much he loves you with his body.
“Wish you could see how pretty you are,” he says as he presses a kiss to your lips. “Because if you could see what I see, baby, fuck,” he sighs as he picks up the pace just slightly, his fingers interlocking with yours as his face is buried in your neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin.
“Can we do this more often?” You ask even though you’re kind of afraid to.
“What? Go slow?”
“Yes.” Your face flushes as you’re confession but Eddie just looks as you lovingly.
“Baby, you can have anything you want. All you gotta do is ask.”
“So we can do this all night as long as I ask?” Eddie pulls back to look at you as if you had just asked a silly question, and you suppose that you did.
“No question,” he shakes his head. “Now lie back darlin’, gonna show you just what I think of that pretty little thing you were wearing.”
And you do that the rest of the night and into the early morning, and afterwards, Eddie takes that Polaroid from the bedside table and puts it in his wallet so he can look at it anytime he wants. And after he does so, he pulls you into his arms and cuddles you until the two of you fall into a much needed sleep.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x fem!reader
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I love your fics sm they’ve been getting me through my weekend! In honor of the cold and flu season, maybe a Zoro x Sick Reader would be cute ^^ (where of course Zoro is a big blockhead who doesn’t know how to care for someone who is sick but is too overprotective to not at least try).
⛥゚・。 ham melon
synopsis: after you contract a rare, deadly disease, zoro has to take care of you... the best he can.
cw: fluffy fluff, comfort, zoro is a lovable idiot, reader's a little nervous
a/n: love the love i'm receiving from some of you guys tysm. though i just wanted to remind some of you in my inbox that it is the holiday season, and while i'm writing these i am also getting my house and gifts together for christmas. so plz give me some grace lol. i am doing my best to work through my asks
"Zoro... honey... I don't think I can eat that," you rasped, breathing labored and voice weak as you glanced toward the man standing at your bed side. "I can barely keep down water..."
Eye wide, Zoro flushed with embarrassment, now feeling stupid as he glanced down at his hands, which held the bone of a comically large cut of raw ham melon.
And after he spent a whole hour looking for it, too...
'Dammit.'
"Shit..." he cursed under his breath, tossing the meat off to the side as he ran an anxious hand through his hair, looking around the room for something else to help.
Of course, fate had to have chosen the worst possible person in the world to leave you with.
"Alright, I'll... um... shit..." he frantically thought aloud, his hand coming to rest on his chin as he brainstormed more things to give you. "Tea helps people when they're sick, right? Do you want some tea?"
He turned to you for an answer, only to be met by your heavy wheezes, your chest rising and falling both slowly and deeply in an attempt to get as much air as possible.
Your eyes were shut, blankets pulled up to your neck for the body chills and rag placed carefully on your forehead for the fever—which was a whopping 104 degrees last he checked.
Moving closer, Zoro removed the wet cloth and placed the back of his hand in its stead, letting it rest against the painful flush for a moment before quickly yanking it away, worried.
"Christ, woman, your burning up! Tea's gonna kill you!" he winced, concerned, before quickly turning around and rushing toward the exit. "Here, gimme a second!"
Bursting into the kitchen, he bee-lined it for the cupboard and grabbed a glass, moving to get water out of the fridge.
Chopper and the others would have to hurry up if you were going to survive the night.
After docking on a mysterious, tropical island, you somehow managed to catch a rare disease—a disease that had a one-hundred percent fatality rate.
Naturally, the entire crew was worried, but an elderly woman from the town explained that a cure could be made from the large lotus flower that sat in the center of the jungle.
But, because there's always a catch, the jungle was teeming with dangerous animals and man-eating plants, thus making the trip a suicide mission.
So, Luffy and the others embarked on the journey, while your boyfriend was left on ship-watching and you-watching duty.
Though, it was clear that the crew was having a far easier time with their task.
"I got you some water," Zoro stated, walking back into the room.
Quickly, he took a seat next to your bed, scooping his hand under your neck and lifting you up, helping the cup to your lips as you drank.
"Thank you..." you mumbled, taking a few sips before allowing him to lay you back down. "M'sorry... m'such a pain in the ass."
"The hell are you talking about?" he raised a brow, placing the glass on the end table.
"Well... you never get sick... and it's my luck the one time I do, it's deadly," you looked down at yourself, slightly embarrassed. "Not to mention you probably had things you wanted to do today..."
"You talk as if I think you're a burden."
"Well—"
"That's stupid."
You piped down, slightly surprised by his blunt statement.
"There's no burden in this relationship. There's me... and there's you," he stated, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "You keep me sane... and I protect you... and both of us pick up the slack where we need it."
Seriously, he turned to you, eye practically peering through your soul.
"I don't date dead-weight. If that were the case, I would've never asked you out in the first place."
Gagged, you could do nothing but sit there, stunned to silence.
You didn't know he thought so much of the relationship...
Not that you were treating it was a fling, but that you didn't think your swordsman read so much into it.
"You're talking better. The fever must be breaking," Zoro yawned, standing up from his seat. "You need anything else?"
Quietly, you shook your head, and he let out a heavy sigh, allowing his shoulders to slightly sink before he flopped onto bed with you.
"Good... M'takin' a nap..."
"Zoro! I'm gonna get you sick!"
He grunted in response, allowing his eye to shut as he rolled over and dropped his head in the pillows, tucking his hands behind his head.
"You said it yourself... I don't get sick..."
"Well, I don't wanna risk it!"
"Just shut up and c'mere," he mumbled, looping his arm around your waist and jerking you into his side.
The moment you came in contact with his shirtless body, you nearly let out a sigh of relief, his warm skin doing wonders for your body chills.
'Maybe... a few snuggles won't hurt...'
"Five minutes..." you warned, groggily, resting your head on his chest as you inched closer.
"Mhmmm," he hummed in agreement, already half asleep.
Though, when the rest of the crew returned around midnight, the two of your were still in bed together, a mess of limbs and snores as Zoro held you close—his position that of a shield as his front cradled you in his arms, and his back shielded you from any outside dangers.
After Chopper administered your medicine, and Luffy ate the ham melon left behind on the desk, the crew left, leaving you both to continue your slumber.
Zoro, relieved that you were still alive, able to sense your breathing through his sleep.
You, relieved to know that your swordsman viewed you so highly, and saw you as anything but a burden.
#zorosangell#one piece x reader#one piece#roronoa#roronoa x reader#roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro#zoro x reader#op
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For the game:
Steve Rogers x reader, blanket kingdom
Jaqui, my sweet! I'm sorry I took so long, brain did a thing 🙈
Thank you for participating in this ask game (which has rules I completely ignored, because brain be braining differently) 💕 May the result bring a smile to your face!
Blanket Kingdom
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Type: blurb-ish, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort WC: 1,8k 🥹 Warnings: a bit of self-deprecation, allusions to anxiety and depression, tooth-rotting fluff, Steve being unfairly perfect and pretty
It was one of those days: a day that was simply wrong in its core.
Nothing major had happened; nothing tragic. You had lived through an alien invasion; you had sat by Steve’s bedside after he’d had a brush with death and had cried your eyes out. You had lost people, lost friendships and lost jobs. Today, no heartbreaking event took place – and yet you had trouble counting your blessings.
It was one of those days; a day that was simply wrong. One minor inconvenience after another, piling up and up and with every inch added to that pile, with every teeny struggle, you just wanted to throw yourself on the floor and scream. And cry. And that feeling itself, paired with knowing all too well that not one of those things that should really make you feel like that, made you want to scream and cry all the more.
Then, your only solace; coming home.
Coming home to the most loving, softest, warmest embrace you’d ever known; an embrace which today, you repaid Steve with soaking his Henley in tears and smudged with a little mascara. Stupid, stupid tears. Stupid shoulders of yours which couldn’t bear the weight of mere inconveniences, while Steve’s shoulders carried weight the world. And yes, he might struggle sometimes too, but he had valid reasons at least. You, today? Barely.
And yet, you clung to him like to a lifeline, soaking in his love and his sunshine dimmed with concern for you.
“Why don't you lie in the bath?” he hummed as he ran his warm palm along your spine again, adjusting his head on top of yours, kissing your hair.
The first hint of a real smile since you had left the apartment this morning twitched in the corner of your lips.
“Are you telling me I stink, mister?”
A light offended snort escaped him, the little jerk of his chest sparking gentle warmth in yours. “No. You smell lovely. But to relax. You're all tense, honey.”
You hummed in agreement, swallowing the ‘no shit’ your angel of a boyfriend did not deserve.
“’kay… uhm… will you come with me?” you asked lowly, retreating a bit despite feeling like you were leaving a soft comfy bed at an ungodly hour of a morning, entering the cold dark world.
Your lips pursed slightly, the echo of your voice sounding so childish even to yourself in face of the larger-than-life man; and it felt all the more childish to see him frown compassionately, his thumb stroking your cheek, still wet with tears.
“I’m sorry, love, I've got one last bit of work to do. Then I'm all yours, I promise. Maybe we can watch a movie?”
You nodded, an automatism triggered despite the rejection feeling ridiculously like a punch to your gut. God, you were pathetic. And so was probably your attempt at a smile.
“Yeah, sure. That sounds lovely.”
And it did sound exactly that; except Steve wouldn't come to the bath with you to hold you, which was honestly all you wanted. What you wanted more than anything in the world, at least at the moment.
Another inconvenience added to the pile.
Except this time, you felt like the inconvenience; an imposition on Captain America, who had much more important things to do.
You understood. You did.
But god did you just want--- you didn’t even know anymore. Nothing. Anything. Everything.
You knew deep down this feeling would pass eventually; you knew that eventually, you’d again feel like a human being and not a burden, like someone worthy of love instead of loathing, but the weight of the pile was so damn crushing, all the problems of today thrown at your body, at your face, blocking your view of the starry skies so you couldn’t even wish on a falling one.
And through the mess, you missed Steve’s smile, bright like a sun, following your every step as you shuffled to the bathroom.
Body slightly more pliant after the long minutes in the scented bath, softest pyjama pants on along with Steve’s t-shirt long enough to be considered a dress on you, you took a deep not-so-steadying breath. Stepping out of the bathroom felt like a trial; your best attempt at bravery made, your smile froze in an instant as you set eyes on Steve.
Or rather on the result of the incredibly important task worthy only of Captain America you had thought he had had to fulfil.
A blanket fort. He had built you a blanket fort, large enough to be called a blanket kingdom. Big enough to accommodate both you and him comfortably, and since he had mentioned a movie, with enough space to fit in a provisory cinema.
Tears prickled in your eyes as you met his gaze, his hesitation evident, his own inviting smile wavering.
“Is this okay?”
No. No it wasn’t. It was far from okay, because this was—
You took a wavering breath, trying to steady the quivering of your lower lip, trying to draw some air into your lungs even as there seemed to be no space in your chest but for the explosion of affection for this man.
By god, you did not deserve him, but you were never letting him go.
Steve frowned as you quickly wiped the tears having escaped with the back of your palm, crossing the distance between you with cautious strides, as if worried he might spook you – or that you’d break or dissipate into thin air like a dream if he got too close too fast.
Joke was on him; you were sure he couldn’t be real.
But he was. And so was his warm hand enclosing yours, leading you into your hiding place from the cold dark world, a solace gently illuminated by fairy lights, fluffy blankets and pillows gathered to battle the piles of struggles you had faced today, two cups of hot chocolate to sweeten all the bitter pills that had made your stomach hurt, laptop indeed prepared, displaying the start screen for Princess Diaries 2, your ultimate comfort movie.
The sob was exploding from your chest before you could hope to stop it, your whole weight thrown over him as he laid on his back, your inner cuddle monster coming out, soothed by his presence and his gentle chuckle.
“So it is okay,” he teased you lightly, your frantic nods against his chest enough of an answer.
“Oh Steve... it’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love you. I love you so much I can’t handle it,” you muttered, hushed by a tender peck to your forehead.
“I love you too… now, tell me. Does Her Majesty find her quarters satisfactory? ‘tis no excuse but my time and resources were unfortunately limited.”
You couldn’t supress your giggle as he mimicked the way Nicolas would speak at the end of the movie, asking for Mia’s forgiveness and pleaded to know whether she reciprocated his love.
“Steve-“
“And does my betrothed wishes to order from the royal kitchens before the comedians begin their performance?”
He used the moment of your stunned silence to steal a kiss from your now parted lips, your heart trembling with overwhelming affection.
“I’m… not your betrothed, love-“
“Yet,” he muttered, almost absently as he tucked a lose strand of your damp hair behind your ear, smiling oh so warmly, as if his words weren’t sending your heart into frenzy. A very, very pleasant frenzy.
Hesitating, torn between whether you should address his little remark, you decided to call upon your nearly non-existing bravery and use the opportunity to apologize.
“That would mean being here for better and for worse…” you said, earning a hum of agreement, Steve’s gaze following his fingers as he traced the lines of your face, as if committing them to memory. Your voice stuck in your throat. “I… I’m sorry it’s on the side of worse today. I’m sorry to-“
“We all have those days, sweetheart. Would you tell me off if I had a bad day?” he inquired gently, causing your voice to fall silent with a huff.
The little manipulator; he already knew you wouldn’t. You had been there for a bad day or two of his before; and if he’d have you, you’d be there for all of them.
You sighed, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose, causing him to grin brilliantly you almost had to shield your eyes; from the brightness, from the almost painful beauty.
He really was an angel accidentally kicked out of heaven, landing hard but keeping his heart soft with love for humanity. And by some miracle, for you.
“You know I wouldn’t,” you murmured, a mantra you sometimes reminded both and you and him echoing in your head, a ray of soft light on days when it turned into a dark place. “You are worthy of love on any day, and loved you are.”
“That’s right, love. And you deserve treats and food…?”
Honestly, you weren’t hungry at all, but you were aware that much like the gloom following you today, that too, was only momentary. And despite how wholesome and fulfilling your relationship with Steve was, you could not live off on it only.
“A pizza sounds good?”
Steve pecked your lips, before shifting under you to reach for his phone. “The word of my betrothed is my law. I shall see to keep Her Majesty happy, fed and mine.”
“Oh my god, stop it,” you giggled at the warm fluttery feeling in your ribcage, not blind to the way Steve’s eyes lit up at the sound, his sheer delight at your happiness and being the source of it spreading through your veins like liquid sunshine, warm and joyful.
“Now why would I, when Her Majesty my queen looks so beautiful smiling…”
“Steve---- very well,” you resigned to join his gentle ridiculousness despite the heat in your face, caressing his cheek with the pad of your fingers, his smile softening, skin dusting with pink under your affection as it still did at times. “I therein declare my love to you, Sir Rogers. Please accept my gratitude for your heroic actions and for my chambers large enough to be a castle. Thank you.”
Thank you; I do not deserve you. But I do.
He caressed your hair, irises sparkling, the fairy lights playing games so enticing on his handsome face you wanted to chase the shadows and light with your lips.
“Anything for you, my love. May we rule in peace in good humour, for long years, side by side.”
And there it was again; a subtle promise of forever. You leaned your cheek on his chest with a smile, nestling comfortably, not protesting in the slightest when he pressed one of the cups of hot chocolate to your hand, before tapping on his phone to order dinner.
You sighed contentedly, the worries of the cold dark world stranded outside of your unconquerable fortress, while you remained safe and loved.
“Yes… that is all we could ever wish for.”
I hope you don't really needed a hurt/comfort fic, but I hope you liked it either way 💕
Thank you for reading and potential feedback!
You can find my other works on my masterlist, should you be interested 😇
Divider by @firefly-graphics.
#reply#asks#anika replies#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers#captain america#captain america x reader#captain america x you#captain america imagine#steve rogers x you#captain america fanfiction#steve rogers fanfiction#blanket kingdom#anika ann
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The Christmas Party - Chapter 4
Summary: after spending some days apart, you and Negan finally find a way to sort out your differences, and it involves a whooooooooole lot of balls
Tags: Modern AU, Teacher AU, Gossip, Swearing, Pet Names, Slow Burn, friendly competitive games, sexual innuendos
Word Count: 7.3k (I'm sorry, idk how tf this is getting so long)
Michonne likes her job. It’s cushy, which isn’t what most people would assume. But being principal of Alexandria High is something she fought for and something she earned. In many ways, it’s exactly where she’s supposed to be.
Not only that, but she gets to be closer to her kids. For the first time, Michonne can embrace the role of the classic mom—carpooling with her children, loudly saying “I love you” and reminding them not to forget their lunch as they all walk into the same building.
Carl doesn’t mind it much. At this point, he sees it more as an inside joke between himself and his stepmom.
Judith, on the other hand, still squirms every time she gets out of the car with Principle Grimes, her eyes darting around to see if anyone is taking notice.
Michonne doesn’t take offense though, she knows it’s because Judith is still adjusting to “big school”, eager to make a good impression during her first year.
She had to deal with a blunder last week between Gregory, Rosita and Sasha. Once again, it was up to her to clean up Gregory’s incompetence while he played victim.
If Michonne had her way, firing him would have been her first decree as principal. And he wouldn’t have been the last to be fired either. Michonne can think of a few she would’ve picked off straight away if it wasn’t for unfair dismissal laws.
Saying goodbye to both of her kids, she makes her way down the corridor, pretending not to hear the students going wild in some of the classrooms as they let out their energy before classes start. They’re more hyper than usual for a Monday but since this is the last week of classes, she understands the excitement.
Strolling into her office, she comes face to face with another ‘if only I could fire them without lawful reasoning’ candidate.
“Holy fuckin’ shit, no way Ricky Dicky got you this weird ass piñata for Christmas,” Negan giggles when she walks in, holding up a gift she got for her birthday.
“Carl, actually,” she corrects him, watching carefully to make sure he doesn’t drop the statue “and it’s a unicorn he and Judith painted, not a piñata”.
With raised eyebrows, Negan gently places it back down on the desk. “Well, shit, ain’t they… creative” he treads carefully, not wanting to piss her off.
“Is there a reason you’re lurking in my office?” Michonne gets straight to business, making her away around the desk and to her chair.
Negan sits opposite her, making himself comfortable “Well, it’s about the Christmas party”.
Michonne debates hiding her smirk but she can’t help it. Negan’s a man that always chooses to be cocky, so why shouldn’t she when she knows something he doesn’t?
Reading her smirk, Negan can’t help but scoff at himself. He’d been expecting a reaction like this.
“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid,” he mutters.
Michonne twirls a finger in the air, gesturing to her grin. “Oh, this?” she says, her smirk widening “It’s not because you think this whole thing is stupid. It’s because I know exactly what you’re about to say”.
Negan shifts in his seat, caught between feeling a little embarrassed and strangely intrigued. He crosses one leg over the other.
“Is that so?” he says, his tone casual but curious.
“I had a certain English teacher in here on Friday,” Michonne keeps her information vague “she may have mentioned the staff Christmas party as well”.
“Did she mention how she can’t keep her damn mouth shut? Or that she’s the control freak?” he interjects “actually, no I want to hear what she’s said about me and how she’s spinning this whole thing”.
Michonne huffs “Funnily enough I could say the same thing to describe you”.
He rolls his eyes, trying not to mumble anything under his breath in case she hears.
“Actually, she explained everything, from the text message to you deserting her. In fact I think she told me too much, usually when you bunk off your job, you don’t tell your boss” Michonne says, her tone level.
Negan nods knowingly “She has a tendency to keep running her mouth, even when she shouldn’t”.
“And she also asked if the staff party could be held somewhere other than the sports hall, since she tells me it’s essentially your hall,” Michonne continues “Which is odd, because I’ve never seen your name above the door”.
“It is my hall,” he snaps, his chest puffing out “everyone knows it is. My office is right next door —which has my name on the door— and out of all the coaches, I’ve been here the longest. So, yeah, my hall”.
Michonne just watches him, silently grateful she doesn’t have to deal with Negan more often. “Well, the party will still be held there, and when it comes to the two of you constantly clashing, I’ll say to you the exact same thing I told her”.
Michonne pauses, making sure Negan is actually paying attention.
“Whether you help plan the party while she doesn’t, or she plans it while you don’t, or both of you just plan the damn thing,” she says, speaking slowly, hoping it’ll sink in “I. Don’t. Care.”
Negan clamps his mouth shut, holding back a curse. “That’s your big advice?” he questions, incredulity in his voice. “Seriously?”
He’s met with a flat look “Negan, it’s a Christmas party. Let’s not overcomplicate things ”.
Leaning back in her chair, she glances over the paperwork she should be working on “I’m not going to force you two to work together. If you’re not that interested in helping, then don’t and let another coach help when it comes to setting things up in the hall. Simple as that.
Michonne picks up a pen and begins writing on one of the pages in front of her, giving him the sign that they’re done here.
This is easier than Negan expected. Where’s the whole “you need to work together for the sake of Christmas party magic” speech? The guilt trip about teamwork and holiday cheer?
He expected more pushback, more of Michonne’s insistence that they both need to cooperate and sing kumbaya.
But instead, it’s just… simple. She doesn’t care.
And, sure, they both irritated the hell out of each other, but now that they’re not being forced into the same space, he finds himself missing it a little. He had started getting into a rhythm—annoying her, sparring with her and slowly picking up on her banter.
It had become a game of sorts, and he’d almost gotten good at it.
But then again, he did walk away from her. And she never came crawling back with an apology, so maybe this is for the best. Neither of them had the patience to stick it out.
After a few seconds, when Negan doesn’t move, Michonne stills her movements. “I can hear you breathing,” she comments, keeping her head down and reading through the sheets on her desk.
“So?”.
“So, I’m busy? Go get ready for class— oh, actually, while I have you here,” Michonne looks over at him and Negan can see the shift from bored principal to fiery mama bear.
He stands, getting ready to leave.
Pointing her pen at him, she keeps her voice calm and steady “You make fun of Carl’s eye again and I’m giving the Coach Smith that actually does his job, your office”.
Negan knows better than to test her, or to even let a word alip about how Coach Mark Smith is off tanning in Jamaica, something he definitely doesn’t consider “doing his job”.
Straightening up, he gives a quick nod and mutters a simple, “Yes, Ma’am,” before hightailing it out the door.
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
What’re you on now? Plan C? Or D?
Plan A went out the window with your pettiness, when you decided to plan the Christmas party just to spite Negan.
Plan B, trying to work with Negan, crumbled and left you stranded at Target. You owe Carol big time for driving out and collecting you. Although you hope the amount of cookies you baked with her afterwards means that you’re both even.
Plan C… well, that hasn’t technically failed, nor has it gotten you off the hook, thanks to Michonne being indifferent either way.
And now that's brought you on to plan D, which so far has been giving constant reassurance to a fully grown man.
“I don’t think I should be doing this,” Joey’s bottom lip wobbles and for a moment, you genuinely believe you’re about to see a tear roll down his stubbled cheek.
“Joey, you’re just helping me measure” you reply, holding onto the other end of the measuring tape as the wary man makes his way down to the other end of the hall.
You came to work today with a plan. After avoiding Negan for the remainder of last week and having the weekend to get your shit together, you’ve decided that you’re going to continue planning this party.
The major difference now?
You’re doing it from your own free will, not letting accidental texts or pettiness be the driving force… although in saying that, you also didn’t want to deal with Gregory’s passive aggressiveness.
So after a quick stop at Negan’s office before he arrived, you side-stepped into the sports hall next, and found your new helper, Joey.
“Yeah but…” he hesitates to even say his name “Negan doesn’t know you’re here, and if he finds out I’ve let you in here…”.
In a sense, you feel bad for Joey. It’s his first year at Alexandria High too but he’s already been indoctrinated into the Negan cult, which consists of Negan, Joey and whoever Negan’s trying to swoon for the week.
“Classes start in twenty minutes, he isn’t even here yet,” you attempt to comfort him for the fourth time this morning “besides, you’re just helping me get measurements, this isn’t the end of the world”.
“Yeah, but I don’t want Negan to think I’m betraying him by doing this, or that I’m choosing your side over his,” Joey babbles and you try not to take offense “I asked him last Friday how the planning was going for the party and he— jeez, if you saw the look on his face when I mentioned you!”.
Gulping, you shift slightly and try to change topics “Are you at the end of the hall?”.
“Oh!” Joey stoops down and presses the end of the tape to the wall “Ok, ready!”.
You write down the measurements in your notebook before calling Joey back.
Unfortunately, he continues to ramble. “I mean, it was like his whole face changed when I mentioned your name! I was just asking about it cause I was wondering if he got into your pants yet but damn, you must’ve turned him down bad!”.
You wonder if this is how irritating you sound when you ramble.
As Negan walks down the hallway to his office, he lets out a long breath. No more Christmas party for him. It’s someone else’s problem, whether or not that be his favourite love-to-hate and hate-to-love English teacher.
He tunes out the chatter coming from the sports hall, not in the mood to deal with teens who’ve sneaked in before class for a quick game of basketball.
He enters his office and takes a moment to drop his bag onto the chair, releasing a long sigh. Like shit he would ever leave Michonne give Mark his office. At this point, Negan’s sure he has squatters rights.
He removes his winter coat and casually tosses it over the old coat rack. Despite the cluttered state of his desk, it's organized in a way only he seems to understand. Negan knows exactly where everything is but something’s… off.
Something’s different.
His gaze shifts to the small pumpkin statue from Target, its green stalk hidden beneath a tiny Christmas hat. Negan frowns, frustration creeping in. Dammit.
This guilt-tripping crap shouldn’t work on him. And it won’t. You can buy him the pumpkin but it doesn’t change how you have a bad habit of blurting out the wrong thing at the worst possible time.
Still, he can’t remember the last time someone bought him an actual present. His colleagues never get him anything, unless you count glares. His students skedaddle out of his class the second they have the chance, his only gift there being the peace and quiet they leave behind.
It must’ve been Lucille who last got him a gift, years ago. His leather jacket to be exact. He rarely wears it to work, not wanting some kid’s dirty paws to taint it.
That’s just for him.
After he walked out on you at Target, you’ve both kept your distance, neither one willing to make the first move. But now, it's a new week, with the staff party only a few days away.
And here sits a little pumpkin on his desk, it's Christmas hat perched jauntily on top. With a low hum, Negan flicks the hat of the pumpkin as he heads out of his office, his sixth sense tingling.
Letting the other end of your measuring tape zip back into place, Joey strolls the width of the hall back to you.
“So, you not a fan of the lanky type?” he asks, shrugging with as much nonchalance as he can muster “Since you rejected Negan and all”.
It's a real talent suppressing your cringe that fast. You force a tight-lipped smile, trying to set the record straight.
“I never rejected— I mean, I would have if he—look, Joey, I don’t judge people or decide whether I’m attracted to them based on their—"
“Prefer them with some meat on their bones?" he cuts in, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth when you can't come up with a satisfactory answer.
You’re about to let out a defeated sigh but then you wonder if you can use this to your advantage.
"You know what really gets me going?" you ask, the words alone making Joey’s face go bright red. "A guy who isn’t afraid of what others think, who’ll help people without worrying if it pisses off... oh, let’s say a meaner, older man”.
Before Joey can even respond, a suspiciously cheerful voice cuts in from the doorway.
"There ain't no way I've just walked in on some dirty talk," Negan grins, leaning against the frame with that trademark smirk of his "And to make it even better, you're describing me, sweetheart! Damn, I didn’t realise I turned you on so much”.
Your jaw clenches but you try to keep things cordial. “Negan,” you give a small nod in greeting “I was just leaving”.
He glances over at the numbers written on your open notebook. “Oh, very busy, I see,” he remarks, before deciding that’s enough small talk “how about we have a chat?”.
“About what?” Joey asks, still standing there.
You glance at Joey, but it’s Negan’s pointed look that makes him realize he’s intruding.
“I’ve got a class in here in about…” Negan checks his watch “ten minutes. How about you head to the storage room, grab whatever balls are in there, and line them up for me? I’ll let the kids blow off some of that pent up Monday morning energy with a game of dodgeball”.
Before Joey can protest, Negan tosses him the keys. Joey fumbles, barely catching them as he hurries off.
“You got it, si— bos— I mean, Negan!” he takes off down to the dusty storage room on the far side of the gym.
“Jesus Christ,” Negan lets out a low chuckle “I’m surprised he hasn’t asked to call me Daddy yet”.
A disgusted scoff leaves your throat and you grip your notebook a little tighter, ready to leave. And yet you want to stay, just to hear what Negan has to say.
Negan crosses his arm, eyes locked somewhere in the middle distance as Joey unlocks the storage room and disappears inside. You stay in your spot a few paces away from Negan, feeling the weight of the silence pressing on you, unspoken words hanging in the air.
After a long pause, he speaks in a much more serious tone “You know, you’re really good at pushing buttons”.
Putting a hand up to stop him, you quickly clarify “The pumpkin is just a peace offering. I’m not expecting us to get along but I don’t want us to be at each other’s throats for the rest of the school year either”.
Joey hurries out of the with some basketballs and places them in a line along the centre of the hall before going to get more.
“I get it, I’m not your favorite person—hell, I’m not anyone’s favorite person,” Negan continues once Joey’s gone “but at Target… damn, you don’t have to go there. Not like that”.
Sighing, you avoid eye contact. The words still feel fresh on your tongue but you know you have to face them.
“I didn’t mean to go there,” you reply “I just… I imploded and I don’t want to excuse it by saying you pushed me to it… I could’ve been more careful with what I said”.
Your stomach drops when you hear him laugh bitterly. There’s no real humor behind it and your defenses go up in an instant. The warning lights are starting to light up in your head.
“You’ve got a hell of a way of showing that,” he pauses, biting back something sharper “It’s… it’s not that simple for me and I get it, I’m an asshole. But to bring her up when I take it too far? Or piss you off just a little too much?”.
Some footsteps echo behind you as Joey drops more balls down in the middle of the room, heading back into the storage room and not noticing a battered handball roll over to join your conversation with Negan.
You watch as it rolls closer.
Shifting from foot to foot, Negan folds his arms. “I mean, shit, I know I shouldn’t have driven off without you but what do you expect me to do after you said that?” he asks.
A flicker of that well known frustration bubble before you sigh. “Maybe I expected you to—I don’t know—talk to me instead of running away every time things get tough? I don’t say these things to be a jackass to you, Negan, I say it because… well, yeah I’m pissed off but also because no one else has the balls to say it to you”.
The handball nudges your shoe.
“No pun intended” you add, a thought springing into your head.
You can see your walls going up, and the same with Negan. It’s a toxic cycle of annoying each other and then escalating it whenever you try to hear the other person out. You can tell he’s getting annoyed again just by rehashing it.
Time for Plan E… which you may or may not have just made up now impulsively.
Getting restless, Negan switches to putting his hands on his hips “I do talk, damn it, but you just—”.
WHAM!
Before Negan can finish, a handball comes flying from your direction, slamming right into his chest with a loud thud. He stumbles back, eyes wide in surprise.
Negan doesn’t have to feign any shock. Not when that’s just happened. But he’s not angry about it. If anything, the random ball attack has made him break his serious streak.
“Goddamn, woman! What the hell was that for?!” he looks at you, bewildered.
You let your notebook fall to the floor and take a few steps back, edging towards the centre of the hall.
“Ever since you deserted me, you’ve been dodging me so I figured you’d be good at dodging that too” you shrug.
Placing a hand dramatically over his chest, Negan glares at you, though the playful anger in his eyes betrays any real frustration. “Really? A damn handball?” he tuts “The one time I’m tryin’ to be serious, and this is what I get?”.
You stop when you feel a soccer ball nudge the back of your shoe, letting you know you’ve successfully made it to the halfway mark of the hall.
“You piss me off,” you state the obvious “I piss you off. We piss each other off so fucking much and I am sick of it! Talking it out is just making us both angry again and that’ll lead to one of us saying something stupid – again”.
To show you mean business, you pick up the soccer ball. Joey, confused as ever, just continues with the job Negan gave him.
“We both fucked up, I get that and I am sorry, Negan,” you say solemnly before huffing “but fuck! You just annoy me so much! And ’cause of that, I think we should just get this out of our systems… so, you game?”.
The hint of a smile creeps up on his face, playful offence melting into amusement.
“Y’know when two people need to get something out of their system, this ain’t the kinda balls that’re involved, sweetheart,” with a grunt he bends over and picks up the handball.
You don’t move, fingers strumming against the soccer ball. Joey inadvertently fills up your supply of ammo by bringing out a few more balls out.
“Are you seriously gonna make me play dodgeball to work this out?” Negan calls your bluff, narrowing his eyes at you as he rolls his shoulders.
“Unless you’re too scared”.
Damn you. Negan smirks, knowing full well you know he’s not about to turn this down. His eyes gleam with mischief “Scared? Hell no, I just—”.
Hoping you wouldn’t be expecting a ball hurled at you mid-sentence, Negan throws the handball, narrowly missing your head. It smacks off the ground and you gulp, releasing he’s not about to take it easy on you.
“…I just needed to warm up. Let’s do this,” Negan swings his arms to the side, stretching “Joey! Throw a few down this direction”.
As if signaling the start of a war, three balls roll past you and come to a stop at Negan’s feet, their new commander in chief. The second he bends down to grab one, you seize your chance.
Without hesitation, you send the soccer ball hurtling through the air.
What follows is pure chaos— dodgeball in its most frantic form. Balls fly in every direction, slamming into walls, ricocheting off bleachers, and nearly knocking over everything in sight.
You dive to the side, narrowly dodging one of Negan’s throws, which sails through the air and wallops against the wall.
Neither of you is holding back now. Negan cackles, the sound of his laughter filling the hall as he effortlessly dodges another ball.
Joey, meanwhile, has wisely retreated to the safety of the storage room, peeking out from behind the door.
He cowers, half-hidden, making sure the door doesn’t slam shut and trap him in there, caught between wanting to stay out of the chaos and not wanting to be accidentally locked inside.
Negan laughs in between throws, his enthusiasm spurring you on. “Goddamn! This is one cruel and usual punishment, doll” he pants, a wide smile gracing his face.
It’s odd to see him so happy. Not smirking or smiling just to get under your skin. He’s like a dog that’s finally been let out to run wild, truly in his element.
Trying a new tactic, you throw a ball low to the ground, hoping to get his legs but Negan effortlessly leaps over it.
“Well, if you didn’t cut our argument short then you wouldn’t be getting a face full of balls” you throw another, aiming for his head. He dodges it, bouncing his own ball off the ground as he readies his aim.
Negan grins before tossing the ball straight at your chest. You barely catch it, smiling back at him triumphantly.
“I get it, alright? I was being an ass leaving you stranded… and for trying to wind you up so much beforehand,” Negan shockingly gives a genuine apology “But you can’t just throw stuff at me and call it a ‘game’!”
Bouncing on your heels, you think carefully of your next move. Sure, you’re a little out of breath but this is the most fun you’ve had all month.
“I can if it makes you listen,” you quip back before issuing another apology of your own “look… I didn’t mean for what I said to be so harsh, okay? I was just mad. I don’t want to be that person, but sometimes you’re so damn stubborn… it gets under my skin”.
Negan slows his movements, watching you carefully for a second. The playful energy fades just enough to let sincerity peek through.
“I’m sorry, you’re sorry, can we go back to planning this awful party now?” he asks, surprising even himself by still wanting to help with this damned thing.
Throwing the last ball at him, you manage to catch Negan off guard and hit him square in the shoulder. “One condition, you actually put in some effort” you reveal your single demand.
“No promises but I’ll try. Alright?”.
With a half-hearted laugh, you step away from the ball and approach your opponent.
“Alright” you stick out your hand. Negan looks down at your hand, back up at you and finally, he shakes it.
There’s a moment of quiet, both of you catching your breath as the ridiculousness of the game breaks the tension between you. “I gotta say,” you pant slightly “you’ve got one hell of a throw”.
He laughs, nudging one of the balls to roll back toward the center of the room. “What can I say, I’m good with my hand” that familiar smirk is back, but surprisingly, it doesn’t irk you as much as it did before.
Still, you can’t resist sending a playful glare in his direction. Just to keep him on his toes.
Joey hesitantly steps out from the storage room, glancing around nervously. You watch as he clings to the door, ready to duck and dive at the slightest threat.
“Is it over? Who won?” he asks, his voice cautious.
Negan looks over at him, a grin still on his face. “The school did,” he calls out “considering it’s still got us two fucks planning this party”.
You glance back at Negan, finding his eyes still locked on you, studying you with an intensity that makes something stir in your chest.
His voice lowers, smooth and almost too casual, as he asks, “If I call you later, will you pick up? To talk about the Christmas party, of course.”
You let a slow smile spread across your face, leaning into the moment. “I might reject your call, just out of instinct,” you tease, feeling the playful tension in the air.
Joey, clearly happy the dodgeball war has finally ended, at least for now, yells over with a grin, “You should definitely pick up!”.
You raise an eyebrow at the advice but there’s a warmth in your smile. “Like you said,” you nudge Negan lightly, the hint of something more lingering in your voice “no promises, but I’ll try”.
And with that, the mood between you both lightens, the game being an unexpected but fitting resolution to all the unspoken things between you.
From the doorway, Negan’s class of teens wait, unsure whether this is something that should be interrupted.
A mixture of horror and amusement is plastered across their faces. “You owe me ten bucks,” Ron leans over to Carl and whispers “I told you they’re definitely banging”.
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
The Alexandria High’s Teachers Midlife Crisis Support Line keeps you entertained after school. You had a few last minute presents to pick up and get ready for shipping, hoping an influx in gifts back to your parents will ease the blow of you not being home this Christmas.
It’s a topic you try not to think about, let alone mention it to any friends you have here. And by ‘friends’ you do mean work colleagues , considering you haven’t exactly done a lot of socializing since you moved here.
Reading the steady flow of messages helped ease the guilt of not travelling home though. And, you were actually given a reason to interact and send in some of your own messages!
Most of it was you letting the others know more details about the party; what time to be there, dress code, are plus ones allowed.
Bustling up to the door of your apartment, you quickly send a text saying the party will start at 6 as you make your way inside.
You don’t even have time to shut the door behind you when your phone pings with a private message.
Negan: isn’t 6 too early?
You: I thought it was a little late actually
Negan: sounds like you’ve been to many parties
Negan: lol
Asshole. Ever since group chat started buzzing with life, Negan has been sharing his running commentary with you.
He still hasn’t sent a text into the group chat but seems to have no problem reading what’s being said and sending his thoughts to you in private messages.
Kicking off your shoes and turning on the lights to your place, you decide to leave him wait for a response. Right now, your main priority is getting a well nourished dinner… which means microwaved popcorn and watching whatever Christmas movie you can find on Netflix.
Poking the time into the microwave, you wander from room to room; going into the bedroom and quickly changing into some pyjamas, going to the bathroom to snag a few wipes for your make-up, before heading back to the kitchen, just in time to stop the microwave.
You: wow I didn’t realize you were aching for another round of balls being thrown at you
With your Christmas lights on, snacks at the ready and big glass of soda, you settle in for the night when… ping!
Negan: for that, you’re not getting your Christmas present until after the break
You debate throwing your phone onto the other side of the couch and simply ignoring him but he is unfortunately entertaining.
You: your the literal grinch, I know you didn’t get me anything
It may have taken a while but you can finally feel yourself relaxing when it comes to Negan. Maybe all you both needed was the game of dodgeball to get past all that previous turbulence.
You’re understanding his sense of humor, how he’ll flirt just for the hell of it and how he’s all bark and no bite. If you don’t fall for his charms and throw yourself at him after his first few attempts, Negan just flirts for fun.
Holding your phone in one hand, you use your remote to navigate through the tv channels with the other, stopping when you get to the Netflix app. With a ping, your attention is back to your other hand.
Negan: are you asking me to roleplay? ;)
First off, ew. Secondly, what the fuck, why does he have to make it weird? Well, maybe that’s the winky face’s fault but either way, you sneer at the message. You keep your response short, sweet and to the point.
You: perv
He responds immediately.
Negan: That’s not a no. I’ll even bring my santa hat
You: you’re right it’s not a no, it’s an absolutely NOT
You: and a Santa hat isn’t grinchy enough
Getting flooded with notifications, your attention is briefly brought back to the teachers group chat.
Glancing at the top of your screen, you catch fragments of the ongoing conversation. Eugene and Aaron seem to be deep in a back-and-forth, trying to settle what the true definition of "casual attire" really is.
Negan: yes it is, he wore one in the movie
Negan’s private message grabs your attention and you try to ignore what’s happening in the group chat, for now.
You: still not grinchy enough
You stare at your phone for a few moments but there’s no reply. Oh well. Directing your attention back to the tv, you open Netflix and begin browsing for some stereotypical Christmas romance.
Across town, Negan picks up his controller again, his eyes locked onto his tv screen as a new team deathmatch begins.
His fingers work swiftly, selecting his loadout with practiced ease. Negan’s character moves forward, entering a tornado of bullets and death.
He takes down two players in quick succession but before he can reload, some idiot with a rocket launcher blows him to pieces in a fiery explosion. Frustration bubbles up as he watches his character's remains scatter across the screen.
“Fuckin’ ass” Negan mumbles, checking his phone as he respawns.
Normally, Negan would have his headset on, letting the pent-up frustration of the day spill out as he argues with whatever tween is shrieking down their mic. But tonight he’s opted to go for a quiet evening.
Instead of unleashing his usual barrage of insults, he mutters them to himself under his breath.
As he fumbles to quickly type a message back to you, a smirk creeps across his face. He knows your reaction will be priceless. The way your eyes narrow and that subtle flush creeps up your cheeks whenever his teasing or flirting goes just a little too far.
You glance down at the message, and for a brief moment, your heart stops. You quickly look away, eyes darting to the search bar on your TV, trying to focus on anything else to steady your racing thoughts.
But after a deep breath, you force your gaze back to the screen, almost afraid to read it again.
The words are unchanged, still sitting there, but your mind can't seem to process them. It's the same message, and yet, you find yourself unable to believe it.
Negan: What if I bring my green fursuit? Is that good enough?
Weird message, sure, but that’s not the shocking part. Swiping open the message, it doesn’t bring you to your private conversation with Negan.
No, instead you’re taken to Alexandria High’s Teachers Midlife Crisis Support Line, where Negan’s message is there as clear as day.
Oh my god.
You can’t control your reaction, immediately going out of the group chat and to your contact info on Negan. Without a second thought, you hit call.
It rings once, twice and on the third ring, he answers. It’s like you have no autonomy anymore, simply letting your body work without any consultation with your brain.
Negan is in the midst of trying to figure out of to delete a messages when your call comes through. When he answers, your name alongside his note of (good ass, weird at flirting) which he will have to change later to (good ass, great throw) lights up as you laugh down the phone to him.
“Oh my fucking god!” you basically squeal “how the fuck did you do that? Oh my g-”.
You can’t finish your sentence before your own laughter cuts you off again.
He stays uncharacteristically quiet but that doesn’t hinder you. With your other hand, you have to drop the tv remote to clutch your stomach, a pain beginning to linger from the laughter.
“Now that, that has made my Christmas” you try to quieten your laughter and on the other end, you finally hear a chuckle.
“I mean, a green fursuit? Where the fuck did you come up with that?” you have to wipe a tear away.
“That’s the shit Jim Carrey had to wear,” his voice seems a little tight but he’s still chuckling “fuck’s sake, that’s it, I’m switching schools”.
Your laughter simmers down to a giggle “Quick, just delete the message before anyone else sees it!”.
“But how the fuck do I do that?” he blusters, a strange mix of self-assertiveness and panic coating his voice.
You know you should stop laughing by now but everytime you can feel yourself gain some control over your laughter, you think of the situation at hand and lose it again.
“Just… just hold down on the message and… and wait until the different tabs pop up a-and then… you just have to tap delete” you struggle to get the words out, holding your nose in one hand to stop yourself from snorting.
Now that’s something you know Negan would pick up on, immediately directing all attention to that instead of his hilarious blunder.
“Fine, I’ll try that” he says gruffly before hanging up. You continue to laugh the second he’s gone, flopping onto your side and burying your head into the couch cushions.
You drop your phone beside you, but only so you can stuff some popcorn into your mouth. Going for the phone again, you swiftly go back to the group chat to find the message has disappeared, and in its place a simple yet ambiguous message from the service provider.
*This user has deleted their message*
Before you can even tap out of the group, the phone starts to ring in your hand. You doesn’t waste any time answering, especially now that your giggles have subsided.
“It’s gone,” you tell Negan, trying your best to sound serious “now all it says is that you deleted a message”.
“But does it say the fuckin’ message?” he asks, causing you to roll your eyes.
“I literally just said it doesn’t,” you reiterate “do you listen at all?”.
Negan huffs loudly, muttering something under his breath. “And what was that?” you ask pointedly, wondering why you even answered the phone again.
His huff turns into something of a chuckle “My ears must be fuckin’ deceiving me cause it just sounded like you used your teacher voice on me”.
“And what if I did?” you challenge.
He chuckles again, before letting out a teasing scoff “How the hell am I the one getting scolded? Shouldn’t you be tryin’ to comfort me for that shit? I mean, I’m fuckin’ traumatised over here”.
“You’re not the only one traumatised, did it say who saw the message?” You pop some more popcorn into your mouth.
“How the fuck would I know that?” Negan asks, leaving the lobby he’s in and going back to the game’s home screen.
“Damn, your age is really showing now,” you mumble but make sure to say it loud enough for him to hear “you swipe the message and it shows you who’s read it and who hasn’t yet… but you can’t do it now since you deleted it”.
You may or may not have gone up an octave when you said that last part just to tease him.
“Well, that’s dumb. What’s the point in knowing how to do that when I can’t do it now?”.
“Because I thought you’d have the initiative to check before you deleted it,” you goad “jeez, how old are you? You really know fuck all about technology”.
Negan retorts an equally goading reply, causing you both to quickly fall into their routine of bickering back and forth. “How old am I? I think that only matters if you have a thing for older men” he quips back.
“Only for older men in green fursuits” you tease.
“That can be arranged”.
Staring at the search bar, your perfect romantic Christmas movie so close yet so far away, your attention drifts away from the TV as you prop your feet up comfortably.
The next half hour slips by effortlessly. The conversation flows easily, a mix of casual banter and more personal exchanges, the kind of talk that somehow feels natural between you two. Time seems to slow as you get lost in the rhythm of the conversation, the world outside fading away for just a little while.
Negan raises an eyebrow, balancing his phone between his shoulder and neck.
“And should I even bring up the staff party?” he asks with a grin. Another round of gunshots echo in the background but this time, you don’t question it. Negan’s already had to fill you in on his unconventional form of therapy; video games.
“Ugh,” you sigh “I think the decorations are mostly done. I grabbed a few more things while I was out earlier… but honestly, the worst part is going to be setting it all up on the day. Other than that…”.
You think of the list in your notebook. “We still have food and drink to figure out” you recall “we gotta sort out music too but I was hoping we could just use the speakers in the sports hall? Just plug in a phone and turn on someone’s Christmas playlist“.
You hold your breath, bracing for the inevitable disagreement. You can already imagine the gruffness in his voice, the hard veto against it as Negan huffs and puffs “My speakers in my hall?! Never! I ain’t letting their dirty hands anywhere near my sound system!”.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Negan replies, to your surprise.
“Really?” You pause, wondering if this qualifies as a Christmas miracle.
“Uh-huh,” he continues, another round of gunfire crackling through the phone. “The other Coach Smith owns the speakers, so we get full reign of them. Besides, it’s the least he can do while he’s off spending the holidays in Jamaica”.
That makes more sense.
“So that just leaves food and drink” you smile, feeling a little more hopeful about the party.
Negan lets out a long sigh as the match ends. Getting up, he holds his phone properly as he wanders to the kitchen for a beer.
“Buying the booze will be fine,” he dismisses “we just gotta go clear the shelves of a liquor store, pick up a bit of everything”.
You nod along. “Yeah, the booze will be the easier of the two… but the food, on the other hand…” You trail off, sucking in air through your teeth.
“Can’t we get the home ec teachers to do it?” he suggests casually “Carol’s fine. She’ll be a hardass about it, but she’ll probably do it”.
“I think I’ve run out of favors with Carol,” you admit “she was the one who picked me up from Target after you pulled that whole disappearing act”.
Negan pulls a face despite you not being able to see. “So just cold finger food snacks, then?” he suggests.
“Yeah, that works,” you agree reluctantly, then suddenly remember “Actually! Speaking of food… did you hear about Gregory eating a student’s pancakes?”.
Negan lets out an amused chuckle, taking another sip of his beer. “Jesus Christ, you really are a gossip” he shakes his head, the action more affectionate than he’d like to admit.
You laugh “Oh, shush, you love it”.
By the time you’ve filled Negan in on the school gossip and finally hang up, you’ve finished your popcorn, something Negan quickly caught onto, feigning offense that you were snacking during the call.
After exchanging a dozen “goodbyes”, you finally hang up, letting out a long breath.
You glance at the search bar on your TV, offering it a sympathetic look before you turn the screen off, resigning yourself to the fact that it’s time for bed.
Negan finishes his beer, the empty bottle clinking against the counter as his gaming system automatically switches to standby mode. He stretches, then heads towards his bedroom.
As he pushes open his bedroom door, he chuckles to himself, imagining how chaotic things would’ve been if you were actually here with him and not just a voice down the phone— discussing party plans, laughing over gossip, probably snacking in the middle of it all.
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and for a brief second, there’s something deeper in his eyes. But it’s something he doesn’t let himself dwell on.
The thought of you here, next to him, fills him with a longing he can’t shake and yet he yearns to bury deep deep down. He sighs softly, the quiet of the room settling around him as he pushes the thought away and drifts off to sleep.
#negan fanfiction#negan smith fanfiction#negan x reader#negan x you#twd negan#negan#negan smith#negan twd#jeffrey dean morgan x reader#jdm x reader#the walking dead negan#twd fanfiction#twd#twd fic#twd x reader#negan imagine#negan smith x female reader#negan smith x you
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my dnd campaign planning started as a google doc
it is now six separate docs, a spreadsheet, various pdfs cut up and spliced together
i'm making frankenstein's shitshow and i'm loving it
#had to make a doc solely for brands and companies#for my own reference#because i'm coming up with so much stupid shit
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About those new masks..
So i saw this take a few times already and i have some thoughts. Obviously it's paraphrasing but you'll see these a lot similar to this if you scroll in ST spaces since yesterday:
"These new masks have too much personality, they said the people behind the music is uniportant but they now have this new personalized look instead of the uniform sleek minimalist one and it is the direct opposite of what they are saying. These new looks do not fit Sleep Token"
Let me preface this: I'm not going to explore specific reasons why people might hate on the masks because... No i refuse to go there, but i will talk about the issues i have around this a bit.
No.
If you are hating on the new masks so much so as to cry about that "this is not what they supposed to be about" you are missing your own point. You are in fact shooting the opposite direction. You are no longer in it for "just the music" but you are very much caught upon the "everything else beside the music." You got distracted. You putting the blame on them instead on yourself for loosing your own point.
There is no moral highground in this whole ordeal. Please respect yourself enought to try not to look utterly stupid if you frothing about something you visibly misunderstood. Do not hide behind excuses. Do not put this on the artists. Own up to the fact that you simple don't like it.
Admit that it's your opinion purely; because ultimately the artist creating their own art will understand creative choices behind their creations more than you ever will. No matter how far you try to bend backwards.
The masks fit Sleep Token because it is Sleep Token who decided to have them. End of story. You can hate it all you want but it is still part of the shabang now. And don't try to mask your distaste over visuals with shouting about the artist not understanding their own ideology.
If you are so hung up on how they look like, more than what the music still is, than stop and think for a second please.. You have it backwards. If you really truly only care about the music, what it is about, what it gives you, than you are not going to give a shit what they are wearing on stage.
Maybe in a passing few sentences but otherwise you are not going to be worked up about it to the point you sent hatecomments to the artist who made them.. It is shameful.
Besides i hate to break it to people but they already had their personalities with their outfits just not this strongly. III had the random whacky shit. IV had the hint's of this comfy leisurly punk-ish techwear whatever going on besides the fancy stuff the past a months since the summer. II had a slightly sleeker but maybe sort of tech-ish look which is now reflected (in my opinion) much more strongly with this new look (which sorta reminds me of a stylized oni or something tbh and that is extremely in line with their older far-east inspired thematics visually, just saying).
They are not handing you the "we are unimportant" part anymore. They are not spoonfeeding it to you. Not in the way they had before at least. They presume you are mature and smart enough at this point to get it. To get to the conclusion that it is unimportant what they look like. And allow them to still have fun with it.
Or just they are being cheeky and went for something that would shake up the people. I don't know, i don't know them or anyone close to them. I don't have answers. But they are trying something new an it is perfectly fine.
Also which would have come off so much differently if Vessel is 100% btw. Be honest, if they would have been able to perform to their fullest abilities, far less people would be so loud over this.. This was just an unfortunate turn of events and when shit hits the fan it usually never just one dose. And my heart breaks for the boys for all this.
Besides, people were so loud about hating that "they looked the same" and "so hard to distinguish" and "easy to replace because of this" ... now they have personalized masks and looks and the same people cry about the exact opposite they did before..
Also it just occured to me that this is basically the same as the lightshow upgrade. It gives you something to look at at the rituals. The new looks are visually interesting, and with the lighting setup they have now they are gonna look like some seriously fun nightmare creatures btw. I love that already.
So all in all i don't know, i don't really have a point here i guess, but the boys are in such a no win situation right now and i hate the fact that people are shitting on them just because they don't fit their idea of "an anonymous collective" anymore. Which is reddiculous and sad because nothign has changed.
It never was about being a blank page. It was about being human. It flies over so many peoples head but the anonymity part isn't about not being a person under there. It is being about that person not having a name. It doesn't matter if the person has a personality or not. What matter there is that no name.
There is no definitiveness. It gives an open invitation for anyone to step into that person but first you need to recognise that there is a person there. And there is no doing that if there are no traces of personality. Or humanity if you will because personalities makes us humans. Don't make me hold a philosophy lecture here on what it means being human please.
It does not matter who that individual it is by tagging a name on them. But it is extremely important that there is a person there. Otherwise there is no connection point. If there is no person there is nothing to understand. But it does not matter how that person looks like. It does not matter what the person wears. Or what that person is called. What matters is that it is a human being. And as such you can understand it. Our at least you should be able to.
Regardless of the design of a mask.
#there is so much more there i could bring up and talk about but i have stuff to do today so i can't get hung up on it too much#but i hope it comes through what i'm trying to convey here#i'm not trying to hate on people not liking the masks because it is an extremely valid opinion#i hate people trying to mask it as a thing about sleep token loosing sight of their own thing#please do not try to hide behind stupid shit like 'this is not what they talked about'#cut the bullshit#grow up#and own up to the fact that you are visually do not like something#there is no need for a moral high horse in this case#you can dislike something for the aesthetic#but again. please do yourself a favour and try not to look utterly stupid about something you only half understand appearently#i'd say i'm sorry if i offended anyone here but i'm prepared for getting shit over this anyway so no i'm not apologizing#if you feel offended by this maybe this is your reminder that maybe you should think it through why you feel targeted#✌🏻#sleep token
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Sitting in the office and I just. Can't. All that pettiness and passive-aggressiveness and open aggressiveness at this point. I can't, I'm done.
#and like#i actually love my coworkers here#it's all coming from HQ#I'm handing in my notice#the boss here at the office like “but they've done so much for you!”#well and i have done things way above my paygrade for them#i have enough overtime to take more than two weeks off#what have they done for me?#I'm out I'm not putting up with this anymore#because of our stupid labor agreement I'll have to stay on until the end of september if i quit today#plenty of time to find another shit job
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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just saw someone saying that jared's acting in spn was bad... gonna commit heinous crimes
#they said i can't believe we suffered through such bad acting for the sake of dean and cas's storyline only for destiel to not be full canon#WHAT THE FUCK ????????#WHAT THE- WHAT THE FUCK#and then they tagged it 'j*red badalecki' OH MY FUCKING GOD#THAT'S SO STUPID AND IMMATURE FIRST OF ALL#jared is 100% one of the best actors on the show#no doubt#i genuinely... oh my god#destiel fans will be so fucked to the point that they'll use it as a reason to hate on not only sam but also jared ???#i'm sorry i hate supernatural fans so much wow#love you guys in our normal fun little corner of this website!!#. >> mari says shit !#and i'm not saying that jared is like my fav person and that you can't be critical of him or his acting#i just hate the way they went about it#it was very very stupid and unnecessarily#i don't care if you don't like him i just think y'all could come up with better constructive criticism <3#also there are bound to be bad acting moments#there's fifteen seasons of it straight like... it happens#can we just not be fuck ass bitches about it???#like... felicia day's acting was not great#do i still love charlie so much?? yes !#i do!#do i care?#no! i do not!#because i know how to be normal about things#:D anywayssss#this is like one of the least important horrible things about the spn fandom but i'm just getting increasingly bothered by this fandom
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Last night this 18 year old was like. REALLY aggressively flirting with me. And I am always awkward with flirting and also like I am reasonably sure that you are an infant child so not really interested.
but like we were talking about flagging as a top or bottom and she was like so HYPOTHETICALLY if you DID have a carabiner on what side would it be on and I was like I mean idk vers tending bottom? no actually. vers tending top I just find bottoming easier cause I only recently got out of the headspace that sex is like. a thing that happens to you.
and she was like OH THAT'S REALLY SAD yeah I'm glad I got past that it's probably cause I started so young lol
and like not to read this random teenager for filth on the internet but babe based a) on that, b) on the aggressiveness with which you're flirting with everyone and saying loudly how you just Keep Having Sex By Accident While High, c) literally every part of your 18 year old vibe, I am going to say with 99.999999% certainty that
you have not yet figured out the difference between being attracted to people and thinking that sex is your core value/a thing that happens outside your control
you are not past that point
it will probably be several years before you begin to fully realise how not there you are
see this is why I'm not on the team many of my friends are (which is that it's fine to flirt back and kiss people in bars who might be way younger than you but not to sleep with them or get into relationships). and it's not (just) because I'm on a moral high horse or I'm scared of directly harming them, it's mostly that it is deeply unsexy to look your past self dead in someone else's eyes and be like "well regardless of how I act in this moment, you are going to be doing a Lot Of Unpacking of this part of your life over the next 10-15 years"
#red said#i feel like i would find it easier to flirt if dyke flirting didn't tend to involve so much on the sleeve trauma shit#because the thing is i really LIKE having deep and meaningful conversations about trauma but usually it is not super hot#especially when the other person is not AWARE YET of how obviously fucked up about it they are#and the difficulty with talking to people way younger with similar life experiences is that these lessons can ONLY be learnt for yourself#and it sucks because you're like. look you are in such a bad place and i have all the relevant answers but there is NO WAY TO CONVEY THEM#because they can ONLY COME WITH TIME AND DISTANCE#no offence to the several beloved mutuals who are Teens. it isn't like a 'you are stupid and ignorant' thing#but when i talk to people i remember exactly how it felt to be there and also exactly how it felt to be told the stuff i wanna tell them#and it didn't HELP VERY MUCH because it's like telling someone they're in an abusive relationship. you gotta get the distance in yourself#before you're ready to actually hear and absorb that information#and I'm pretty sure that in another 10 years i may well feel the same about 30 year olds ybf
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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I think I might actually legitimately be at my limit. Like I think I've reached the end of my rope, actually
#liz's personal tag#it's really not that big a deal I think#it's just been tiny things all piling up#one after the fucking other#and i think i just made a goof at work because i can't find an email telling this lady that i'm attending her fair on wednesday#even though i have confirmations for the other three schools i'm going to#and outlook looooooooves to delete my fucking emails#so i'm hoping and praying that i did actually email to rsvp#or that she'll be willing to make an exception and let me come#i'm just so fucking tired of having to teach myself how to do shit at this job#because there's only so much the people around me know how to do or teach me#and my actual supervisor never sat me down and showed me how to do the things i needed to know how to do#so i'm constantly finding out that i don't know how to do stupidly simple things and then i look like a fucking moron#and i'm so tired of feeling stupid all the time and i just want to cry even though everyone knows it's not my fault#and fuck y'all i just feel so fucking stupid right now and i hate it and now i'm crying#anyway here's wonderwall
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I hate being an aroallo autistic person whose sexually matured before I'm allowed to have sexual liberation
#sorry i know this probably sounds weird or fucked or something but like.#it's annoying#it's like everything goes in a circle of GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO 18.#i get why. i get why things are laws are in place.#i get why people under 18 shouldn't be in kink spaces.#because there are horrible people out there.#but i don't suddenly become mature enough to have sex at 18#that doesn't mean they should move the age up#it's just. why did 18 become the magic fucking number that I'm allowed to express myself in the fullest form#AND I WANT TO BE CLEAR. THIS IS NOT ME TRYING TO GET ATTENTION FROM OLDER PEOPLE WHO WILL HURT ME.#I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING OF THAT SORT WITH ANYONE OVER 18#THAT FREAKS ME OUT#i just feel like so much of my identity is locked behind a barrier of I'm 16 and not 18#and when i feel like i can handle myself and my parents trust me to be responsible i still can't. do shit.#i can't tell people things that i want to#especially on the internet but also in real life#because I'm under 18#WHICH IS STUPID LIKE I'M SO CLOSE MAN#I'M NOT A 12 YEAR OLD#anyways I'm sorry about this rant I'm just frustrated with things right now#tw vent#I'll just put that just in case#and I'm not afraid to block some people if they come my way after this#like i said i ain't about getting down with 18+ people#i just want to express myself
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People who are truly your friend will not leave you behind attempting to catch up or exclude you from things just because you're disabled. They won't make fun of you just because you have learning disabilities. They won't claim it's too difficult for them to correctly refer to you by the right pronouns just because you're queer.
If they do, they aren't a friend. Get yourself some new ones and you'll start to feel a whole lot happier
#makes a huge difference trust me#it takes time but you'll realise who wants to be your friend and who's worth putting effort into#you can't chase after something that isn't there. you can't make excuses for someone who shouldn't be excused#it took me breaking down in front of one of the big important people at work#and he sat with me for 2 whole hours listening and then we wrote a list and everything. it was basically a whole therapy session#for me to really take the jump. and i am glad he gave me the reassurance that was the right thing to do. because he was right#i am so much happier. i have things to work on. but in about 3 months I've started to fix so many things in my life#I'm doing a job i love. i have friends i love and can ring up at any moment to call some stupid ikea trip or hair dyeing session#i have things to look foward to in the near future. attainable goals set to reach.#slowly figuring things out. I've found my people. the right people who don't make me feel like shit or who give mixed signals 24/7#people who don't make me only feel worthy when I'm not visibly disabled and using mobility aids or not being slowed down by my chronic pain#I've come more to peace with being disabled. it's been 4 years. I've had time to get used to the thought now. it's ok.#because maybe i was meant to experience this to really be able to understand and make change
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oh - when my nephew was here he also told me that my mother said medication doesn't have any effect on hunger.
hahaha that's so fucking funny, I'm gonna scream :)
(was just reminded of this because I feel like I'm starving. because of my new meds. when without them... I don't really feel hungry until many hours after I should have eaten.)
#literally how can you say something so fucking stupid when you have zero experience with it yourself#I mean that's just what she does. always and about everything. but this one is particularly infuriating#I bet it came up because they were talking about my weight. and it wouldn't have been nice :) so that's just. awesome to know.#anyway yeah I literally feel COMPLETELY different when I'm on certain antidepressants. they make me hungry ALL THE TIME. and not slightly#hungry like hm I could eat. nope. so hungry that it feels like I'm starving only a few hours after I've had a meal#but sure! you know better! totally!#and it's LITERALLY in the damn information leaflet as a common side effect. for like three different meds I'm on. but no it's just because#I'm stupid :)#(for context. my mother is the most openly and proudly fatphobic person ever. she will very loudly talk about a fat person's body when they#are only a couple meters away. she hates fat people. so. this isn't a neutral statement coming from her. it's filled with hate and disgust#and I'm fucking sick of this shit. literally I'd feel so much more comfortable in my body if she were dead. it's the biggest hurdle to#getting over my own internalised fatphobia. my first thought is usually something she would say. it fucking sucks.)#tw fatphobia
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