#because i'm absurdly fond of them all so

[electronickingdomfox]

Star Trek TOS slash bits (Season one)

This is my personal rundown of all the slash scenes in TOS season one. Actually, "slash" isn't an accurate descriptor, since slash was born after and because of Star Trek; but I didn't know how to call it otherwise. I've omitted episodes when I didn't find anything remarkable in them. And I've tried to be as objective as possible. Of course, this stuff depends a lot on the "eye of the beholder", so your mileage might vary.

-What I count: lingering touches or affectionate looks, clinginess, actions that show a strong concern/familiarity with each other, suggestive scenes...

-What I DON'T count: friendly gestures (like smiling or looking amused when someone says something funny), scenes taken out of context, physical proximity just because there's not enough space...

I'll try to illustrate some scenes when necessary, though screenshots usually don't do justice to it.

For season two, go here.

The Corbomite Maneuver:

Spirk: Kirk tells Spock his explanations give him "emotional security" with a loving look. Spock appears a bit embarrassed. Not counting the scene where Kirk makes a video call while shirtless (funny as it may seem out of context), since that scene has nothing to do with Spock himself. He's just calling the bridge, not Spock in particular.

McKirk: McCoy surely likes to cling to the Captain's chair a lot. He gets really close for a good chunk of the episode.

Should I count the scene where he hides a red alert in sickbay, so Kirk can keep sweating shirtless in his med bed? On the one hand, it may seem suggestive, but on the other, McCoy is just anxious about finishing his medical exam on the Captain.

Spones: McCoy tells Spock (with a somewhat hopeful look) that he'd love to teach him strip poker. Remarkable because there's no hint of sarcasm at all, and Spock answers with a mischievous smile.

The Enemy Within

Spirk: The scene where Spock enters the cabin and seems so agitated by the sight of shirtless, absurdly sensual Kirk.

Also a bit at the end, when Kirk thanks Spock on behalf of his two... halves. He has the Look in his eyes.

McKirk: McCoy is again pretty close and physical with Kirk (the good one). He stops agreeing with Spock's logical plan to merge the two halves, as soon as they discover that it may put Kirk's life in danger.

The true couple of this episode, however, is Good Kirk x Evil Kirk.

The Man Trap

McKirk: The way Kirk tells McCoy that he's not counting his errors, and how he smiles and approaches him to apologize, comes off rather flirtatious.

Also, though he's joking, Kirk can't help offering McCoy the most shitty bouquet of flowers ever, and calling him by his pet name "Plum" at the first opportunity.

The Naked Time

Spirk: "Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed". Also at the end, when Spock asks Kirk if he's okay, but Kirk asks Spock about his wellbeing instead, with a loving expression in his face.

Balance of Terror

McKirk: The scene where Kirk is lying in bed and he invites McCoy to enter, and then they stare at each other with such fondness. On top of that McCoy makes a heartfelt speech about the uniqueness of all lives, and begs Kirk not to sacrifice himself.

What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Spirk: This may be a stretch, but Chapel implies that she can recognize the real Corby by his voice alone, because she's in love with him. Later, Spock guesses there's something wrong with Kirk just hearing him (actually an imitation of his voice made by an android). Apart from this, Kirk's way of ensuring that his android copy is recognized as a fake, is implanting in him mean remarks about Spock.

Dagger of the Mind

McKirk: Again, McCoy has to be all over Kirk's chair whenever he's in the bridge.

Spirk: At the end, Kirk ponders about loneliness, but then he looks at Spock, smiles, and seems to get better. Spock kind of returns the smile.

Besides this, Spock's mind meld with Van Gelder is rather... well... intense.

Miri

Spirk: A brief moment, but when Spock says "Whatever happens, I can't go back to the ship, and I do want to go back to the ship, Captain", he and Kirk exchange knowing looks, and Spock even smiles a bit.

Spones: Spock is very tender with McCoy while he's unconscious, after testing the vaccine on himself. He holds his hands for a looooong time.

The Galileo Seven

McKirk: McCoy still seems unable to talk with Kirk at a normal distance in the bridge. Granted, he gets so close because he's gossiping about Spock's emotional reaction. But that makes it even more gay.

Spirk: "Mister Spock, you're a stubborn man." In context, he's just teasing Spock like everybody else on the bridge, but in Kirk's case, it seems more affectionate.

Court Martial

Spirk: It's normal that a First Officer would be loyal to his Captain, and testify in his favor when his career is at stake. But Spock's comparison of Kirk's inability to make a mistake, with a hammer's inability to overcome gravity, is way too much, isn't it? Specially for someone who pretends to be as logical as Spock.

The Menagerie

McSpirk McCoy refuses to believe Spock is the culprit, despite damning evidence against him. And he's barely able to arrest him, sending him to his quarters instead of the brig. Kirk is more firm in his duties as Captain, but still considers the court martial against Spock as the most difficult time in his career. At one point, he almost wishes his shuttle failed, so he didn't have to confront Spock.

This episode also shows how crazy Spock can become to protect those he loves and respects (in this case, Pike). Motherfucker just committed mutiny in the Captain's face!

Shore Leave

Spirk At the very start, Spock stands behind the Captain's chair, and Kirk complains about pain in his back. A yeoman, also behind him, starts giving Kirk a back massage. And Kirk seems to be enjoying it quite a lot... until he discovers it's not Spock doing it. Then he orders the yeoman to stop, annoyed. Also later, when the airplane is shooting at Kirk and Spock, the two of them embrace and grab each other a lot. It doesn't help that Kirk has, as usual, his tits out.

The Squire of Gothos

Spirk The best way for Trelane to ensure Kirk's cooperation is threatening Spock at gunpoint. This changes Kirk's attitude to him at once.

There's also something seductive (and masochistic) in Kirk's promise to Trelane to give him all the excitement he wants with a manhunt game.

Arena

Spones "Doctor, you're a sensualist" "You bet your pointed ears I am..." It's not just what he says, it's how he says it.

There's also a little detail, when Spock raises from the Captain's chair, and Bones purposefully follows his hand with his fingers. It's strange. Might be an unconscious action on DeForest's part?

The Alternative Factor

McKirk A similar example as the previous "sensualist" one, but this time with Kirk.

Tomorrow is Yesterday

McKirk He can't stop doing this, can he?

Besides this, McCoy gets very anxious as soon as Kirk beams down to the airforce base, and argues with Spock because he feels the Science Officer isn't doing enough to retrieve Kirk from there.

Spirk Kirk hits a guard and hurts his hand a little, so Spock goes toward him and checks the poor baby's wrist.

However, nothing in this episode compares to the truly lustful looks that Kirk directs to Captain Christopher, when he first meets him.

The Return of the Archons

Spirk At the end, Kirk keeps looking at Spock with silly heart eyes, even though the conversation is a philosophical one, about the pros and cons of a society run by computers.

A Taste of Armageddon

Spirk "Captain, you almost make me believe in luck." "Why, Mister Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles." Bonus points because it comes absolutely from nowhere, since the day was saved by Kirk's power of bluff and special brand of diplomacy. Spock hasn't done anything particularly miraculous (well, there's the mind meld with the wall, but that was a brief moment). Spock also looks confused, and there's that comedic music in the background.

Space Seed

The only thing I can think of, is the tense scene between Kahn and McCoy in sickbay, when he grabs the doctor by the neck and says he likes brave men. Followed by McCoy's statement that Kahn has a certain "magnetism, almost electric". The final confrontation between Kirk and Kahn is also a bit suggestive at times.

This Side of Paradise

Spones MCCOY: That didn't sound at all like Spock, Jim. KIRK: No. I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little. MCCOY: I didn't say that. KIRK: You said that. MCCOY: Not exactly. He might be in trouble.

Notice how quick Bones denies having said he might like Spock... Almost as if embarrassed. Does he think often about how Spock could be more to his liking?

Spirk It's possible to see some jealousy from Kirk about Spock and Leila's relationship. In particular during the fight, when he confronts Spock about his courtship of Leila. That came a bit out of nowhere. On the other hand, I disagree with the common idea that his parting from Leila has spirk undertones. On the contrary, he's just talking about his responsibility to the ship and "that man on the bridge" (the Captain; first Pike, now Kirk). And I think there's genuine regret in his abandonment of the simple happiness in the colony, to take care of these responsibilities. His mention of "purgatory" reinforces that.

The Devil in the Dark

Spirk Spock is very protective of Kirk in this episode. First, he invents some bullshit excuse to stay in the cave with him, instead of helping Scotty with the reactor (Kirk sees through his bullshit, by the way). Then he's quite unwilling to proceed separately through the tunnels. And finally, he gets really emotional when Kirk's alone with the horta, and asks him to kill the creature, even though Spock was the one who wanted to protect her first. Apart from this, Kirk supports Spock for a while, after being hurt by the mind meld with the horta.

Errand of Mercy

One name: Kor. Interesting that the episode that introduced Klingons, did so by showing their commander lusting so much after Kirk. Kor checks Kirk out almost from the second he lays eyes upon him, tells him he'll "teach him how to use his tongue", invites him to a drink while Kirk sits suggestively, and both are somehow fascinated by their similarities as commanders (despite their opposite outlooks on life). Definitely one of the most obvious examples in season one.

City on the Edge of Forever

Spirk This exchange:

SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will.

Some people have said that, since Spock's computer contraption occupies one bed, Kirk and Spock would need to sleep together on the other bed. I don't agree though; I see no reason why they couldn't move the thing to the floor at night. It's not that big.

McSpirk How they run to embrace Bones when they finally find him. Even Spock is overcome by emotion.

Operation: Annihillate!

McSpirk Both Kirk and McCoy are very concerned about Spock having lost his sight (much more than Spock himself). Though they react differently. McCoy is heartbroken and blames himself. Kirk reacts with anger and lashes out at Bones, which makes him feel even more guilty. Though later he apologizes. There's also this scene where the three get ridiculously pressed together.

Doesn't count in part, because there's not that much space. McCoy didn't need to come bumping into the other two, though (someone could have moved a bit forward).

Spones McCoy is offended about Spock not appreciating his face upon recovering sight, and complains that he just can't recognize beauty. He's also quite embarrassed because Spock heard him saying he was the best officer in Starfleet.

Summary

Spirk: 16 out of 29 episodes Spones: 5/29 McKirk: 8/29 McSpirk: 3/29

[rafyki]

(Lil snippet of the Goth!Nico/Surfer!Percy fic inspired by the beautiful amazing incredible art by @neo-kid-funk !! It's definitely going to be much longer, but I hope you enjoy this for now!!)

(under read more bc it's more than 1k words lol)

~~~

“He's here again”.

Jason didn't even turn around to see what Nico was referring to with those words - at that point it was such a common occurrence that it wasn't really necessary. Still, Nico felt a little offended at his friends' dismissal.

“Jason”, he said, almost in a whine. “He's here again”.

Now finally (though with a smile and a roll of his eyes) Jason did turn around to look at the current source of all of Nico's troubles and the main character of many of his dreams.

Dark hair, tall, all tan skin and toned muscles, swim trunks hanging way too low on his hips - all in all, the most handsome man Nico had ever seen, and he couldn't keep his eyes off him.

Nico looked at him coming out of the water holding onto his surfing board as if it weighted nothing (and Nico knew that wasn't true, he had almost collapsed under the weight of one once), a hand going up to card through his wet hair plastered to his forehead. He looked so beautiful and at home in the water Nico couldn't help but feel like he was some sort of sea god.

He was too far away to see it now, but he knew that even his eyes were the color of the sea.

What is he even so hot for?

As ridiculous as it sounded, Nico could feel himself blush just looking at him. Yet there was something (everything really) about him that was so magnetic it made it impossible to tear his eyes away - really, at this point Nico spent most of his shifts at the beach kiosk looking at him; he wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that that man came to the beach so often.

Percy.

He only knew the name because he had heard a girl calling him (was that his girlfriend? God, Nico really hoped she wasn't), and obviously not because he had had the courage of talking to him outside of the small exchanges whenever Percy came to buy something.

He kept following him with his eyes, teeth absentmindedly biting his lips, playing with the rings there.

He was so busy thinking and trying to stare without making it too obvious that he almost missed it when Jason said: “Looks like he's coming here”.

Nico jumped out of his skin. “What!? No, Jason, please please, you take his order, please”.

Another roll of his eyes and another fond smile that Nico had seen all too many times. “Nico”, Jason said. “It's your chance. Talk to him!”

Nico shook his head vehemently. He could already feel his heart starting to pound in his chest and his cheeks grow hot. “No way. He's going to smile at me! I'm a weak man Jason, don't do this to me”.

An obnoxious laugh reminded Nico that Leo was there too - he was so caught up in thinking about Percy that he had completely forgotten about him; but of course there he was, sprawled on the counter as if he belonged there (and with how much time he spent there even without working with them, it might as well have been). “Goth-boy, you're on a beach wearing a black t-shirt under the august scorching sun - you're anything but weak, man, you can do it”.

“Oh shut up Leo, we all know you're no better than me - remind me how long it took you to talk to Jason?”, Nico shot back.

He wasn't looking at his friends though, his eyes still drawn to where Percy was - and yes, Jason was right and he was definitely coming there.

Nico's heart was beating absurdly fast; it really was ridiculous how much he liked a boy he barely knew. But he did - oh god, he really did. Percy was handsome and bright and had the most beautiful smile Nico had ever seen.

And Nico was just a boy who looked very out of place on a beach.

Still playing nervously with his lip rings, he took off his hair tie and fixed his ponytail. Did his hair look good? He hoped so at least.

What did Percy think about him? Did he even have an opinion on him? Or was he just the weird kid working at the kiosk? Probably.

“Don't deflect Nico, Leo is right”, Jason said, cutting through his line of thought. “And don't worry you look good”.

“As cute and charming as always, man!”, Leo added, and maybe from someone who didn't know him it could have sounded teasing but at this point Nico knew him well enough to recognize the honesty in his smile as he did a thumbs up to show his support. “Just smile and he'll fall for you in a second”.

Nico scoffed at that, but appreciated the sentiment.

It was probably too much hoping that Percy would even look his way, let alone anything more than that.

Jason nudged his shoulder, once again taking him away from his thoughts. “Really, you're all good”, he said. “Now get ready to take his order”.

The next second, Nico found himself staring into a pair of sea-green eyes so deep and mesmerizing he was sure he was drowning in them, could almost feel the water filling up his lungs; and if that wasn't enough, a smile so bright it could rival the sun came with them, effectively cutting off the last bit of breath. Oh it was so unfair.

And he wasn't wearing a shirt - of course he wasn't, they were on a beach and he had just come out of the water five minutes ago. His tanned skin seemed to shine under the sun, water was still dripping from his hair and Nico had to use all of his willpower to not follow with his eyes the little droplets' way down his neck and collarbone.

It was more than unfair, and it was definitely a curse.

“Hi, can I get you anything?”

Thank god he was so used to his job that he could sound natural enough saying that even while panicking on the inside.

Even without looking at them, Nico could feel his friends almost laughing at him; he would have been offended if he weren’t so busy trying to survive the moment. Percy really was way too handsome and hot for Nico’s sanity.

Don’t stare at him, he berated himself, it’s not polite to stare at customers. He’ll think you’re weird.

Oh god, he needed a smoke as soon as possible. If he kept biting on his lip like that he would end up biting his lip ring away.

“Huh”, Percy seemed to think about it for a second. “Can I have the same blue drink from last time? You remember?”

Nico did remember. It had been the longest conversation he had ever had with Percy (the longest and most intense five minutes of his life until now), with the surfer asking for some kind of blue drink, and Nico trying his best to understand and make it for him - he had managed to, in the end, and then had proceeded to think non stop for days about the happy smile Percy had gifted him.

For some reason, the way Percy said “you remember?” made Nico’s insides melt, a swarm of frantic screaming butterflies flying in chaos in his stomach. Like it was something between the two of them, something they shared.

Nico had never felt more ridiculous in his life.

“Yeah, I remember”, he managed to say, and in a way it was a relief to turn around and get to work. Part of him wanted to drag it out as long as possible just to make Percy stay a little longer; at the same time, though, part of him wanted this to be over as soon as possible just so he could finally go back to breathing.

“Great!”, Percy said with a smile, like Nico had just told him the best news of the day.

It was such a peculiar request, “can i get a blue drink” - no flavor or anything, just a blue drink. It was weird and endearing at the same time, and it left Nico wanting to know more about it, more about Percy. He wondered how many other weird and endearing things like that Percy did.

“You like it that much?”, he found himself asking, his mouth moving before his brain even registered it.

Another blinding smile. Nico was so weak.

“Everything tastes better if it’s blue”, Percy said with such conviction that he almost made it sound like that made any sense.

It made Nico stop, and then he couldn’t help the short laugh that escaped his lips.

“Does it?”, he asked, smiling back, as he handed Percy his drink.

Percy nodded. “Of course. You should try it sometimes”.

The butterflies were going absolutely crazy in Nico’s stomach, so much he almost forgot to take the money Percy was giving him. “Maybe I will”, he said.

“Thanks for the drink, Nico”.

For an instant, Nico’s brain went blank except for a mantra of he knows my name, oh god he knows my name. Then he remembered he was wearing a nametag, so of course he did.

Idiot.

“Have a nice day”, he said through the lump in his throat.

“You too!”, Percy said and went to leave. He seemed to think back on it though, because he turned toward Nico again, holding out his right hand to him. “I’m Percy, by the way”.

It felt like looking at himself from the outside, like it was happening to someone else, as Nico shook his hand. It was warm and big, and Nico wanted to hold onto it. “Nice to meet you”.

Percy smiled, big and bright and happy, and Nico smiled back.

“See you next time, Nico”.

Nico stared at him as he left and went back to his friends, pretty sure everything that had just happened must have been a dream.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Hii!! so i just want to say first that i love love the way you write dmc fanfics. The way you just understand them, makes all their action seem like something they'd do. And well, if it doesn't bother you, may I ask a few advices on how to write Vergil, young and current? I'm trying to write a story and I think your input would be very helpful since you're probably the most accurate Vergil writer there is. Thank you andI just want to say that your fics helped me out a lot mentally. Thank you for bringing the characters to life 🫶

You just left me floored, loved to death, giggling like a 7 year old in public, and I thank you wholeheartedly for that 🖤🖤

First of all, thank you SO much for your words - and wow, I am absurdly flattered that you think so highly of me as a writer, really! I mean, I'm just writing my crazy shenanigans here, I don't expect much hahahaha words like yours make my day and, honestly, you made my whole week!

I am SO happy what I write helped you mentally. I do write to help myself in that regard too, and seeing I was able to have an impact on someone else, it makes everything worth it. That's what Dante would have wanted :')

Asking me for advice doesn't bother me AT ALL! Feel free to ask anytime you want it - by all means I see myself as someone so good as to give advice, but I've gained some experience and it's always good to share! Maybe I'll say something that makes sense to you!

So, without further ado, a few advices on writing Vergil - young and current - down the cut 'cause I haven't written it yet, but knowing myself, I know it's gonna be big :)

(spoiler: it's huge *puts on fool hat and jingles away*)

I sprinkled some things here and there about Dante and Vergil on this blog, but I think it'll be nice putting it all together in one place!

I recently got an ask about which MBTI personality I think it's Dante and Vergil, and there's a LOT on BOTH of their characters in there. You can find it here.

(I won't repeat the things I wrote there, 'cause oh boy this one's got bigger than I expected)

But oh, Verge, this little emotionally constipated goth man *sighs* he's Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I'm not even joking.

But all of that aside, I do keep a few things in mind when writing him. I've said before I have many similar personality traits with him and I think it makes it easier for me to write this little bitch (affectionate).

Vergil is pretty much shaped by his trauma. You could argue Dante is as well, but differently from his twin brother, Vergil never really found acceptance. Yes, the twins lived through the same thing but the fact that Eva managed to save Dante and not Vergil is crucial to both characters.

Dante has survivor's guilt and depression from all that happened. He can't keep a deep connection to save his life, 'cause he keeps everyone at bay - he thinks his demonic blood is a curse and he is the reason everyone perishes. So it's best if people keep away from him.

But even with that, Dante loves being around people. It's what makes him so fond of his human part and, in my opinion, it's what made Dante healthier than Vergil. He seeks connection and humanity, he wants to use his strength to protect the weak - like Eva once used hers and sacrificed herself to protect and save him. That is crucial to Dante's character.

Vergil, in the other hand, believed for a LONG time he was left for dead. That his mother chose to save his brother because she loved Dante more and Vergil was left to die. He was left all alone in the cold, in a cemetery filled with demons who slaughtered him in quite a gruesome manner. If he hadn't find the rage, strength and power inside of himself that day, he wouldn't have survived.

Vergil learned he is on his own, his own family didn't love him (even if he was wrong, that's the impression he had for a LONG time) and the only one he could count on was himself. That made him withdraw completely: be wary of people and their intentions, shut himself to the world, allow only strength and power to come through his personality and keep his vulnerabilities and feelings shut down in the darkest and most protected place of himself because if he didn't, that could be his death.

Vergil didn't learn to protect the weak, because he wasn't protected when he was weak. He learned to survive, because when he needed the most, no one was there and his own will was the only thing that could save him. If he had given up, he would've died - no one would come, no knight in shiny armor, no powerful protecting demon, no sacrificing loving human mother.

✨That's why he's an asshole✨

Hahahaha jokes aside, that's why he's so laser focused on power, I think. When he was younger (around DMC 3), he finds Dante again and there's a hatred for his brother because he believed he was left to die and wasn't loved as much as Dante (as always, our red devil being a clueless himbo who just got lucky to be around Eva, poor guy). He wants to prove he is better than Dante, that he was worth something, that he too was worth saving - even more than his brother.

To some extent, up until that moment in DMC 3, Vergil is better than Dante (regarding power). He's got a lot of knowledge and control over his demonic heritage, things Dante didn't even know he could do. But Vergil is so blinded by his hurt and in so much pain he can only deem himself worthy if he beats Dante down, if he wins, if he gets all the power in the world.

I don't think he ever wanted to kill Dante - he just wanted to win. Like a kid, going "see, mom, dad, I win, I'm worth as much as Dante!!" - quite tragic, really.

With his power thing, it's not a desire for power for it's own sake, but as an armor. Given everything that happened to him, that Vergil has this thing of "only I can protect myself and I can count only on myself to save my life", it's very understandable that his logic takes him to the path of "if I am the most powerful being in this world, I will never bleed and I will never hurt again".

So, even if he says on the outside he is power hungry because he wants to honor his demonic heritage and humans are weak, on the inside it's actually that he's trying to carve his heart out from himself so he won't feel nothing and stop hurting - as well as gain all the power he can so NO ONE can make him feel scared, vulnerable, weak and powerless like he did that night when no one appeared to help him.

Vergil hides his pain under a mask of cruelty and hubris - since being honest means being vulnerable to him and that is something he's got a deep aversion to.

Current Verge has dragged himself out of Hell in a crumbling body. If Dante hadn't "killed" him as Nelo Angelo, he probably would've never been free of his shackles with Mundus, but once again he was left for dead (even if not intentionally, I know Dante would have gone through all the layers of Hell to bring his brother back, but VERGIL doesn't know that). Once again, Vergil had to muster all his will, his power, his demonic heritage to drag himself out of that godforsaken place.

He didn't know Nero was his son, he just took Yamato back 'cause he didn't really had time to explain everything that was going on. Vergil was on the brink of death, it's not like he could think logically about everything he was doing and weight pros and cons. He needed to survive. That's what he does.

It's only when he separated his human and demon parts that he came to realize a bunch of things - because Vergil never really had time to do anything else other than surviving; and thinking too much, going over your feelings and past trauma, doesn't do anything good when you're stuck in survival mode (been there, done that).

After he gets both of his parts together and goes back to being Vergil, he knows a lot more than he did before, because V allowed his heart to feel and to process all that pain he didn't allow himself to process before - because if he did, he would probably break, like V himself was falling to pieces.

He knows his mother loved him. He knows it wasn't Dante's fault. He knows it was all a tragedy and no one is to blame - he knows he wasn't left there to die: Eva died trying to get to him. It honestly changes everything he's been thinking for the past 40 (if I'm not wrong...?) years.

That's why he wonders, if he was in Dante's place all those years ago, would that change something? And honestly, it probably would. Because everything Vergil did was from a wound he couldn't bring himself to heal from that fateful night.

Therefore, current Vergil is a lot more accepting to his feelings - but internally only, he won't let it show. He also understands his thing of wanting to surpass Dante wasn't his brother's fault and it's something he has to work on.

Not saying he won't be a little bitch sparring with Dante all the time and keeping score over stupid stuff, because that's EXACTLY how these two function - but now Vergil is fueled by healthy sibling rivalry and fun instead of inferiority complex and pain/hatred.

Vergil's path is a lot similar to Anakin from Star Wars: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side of the Force. If the Jedi Council had understood Anakin's upbringing as a slave, his deep love for his mother - and for all the beings on the Universe, I argue, because he did want to become a Jedi to free all slaves - his overflowing empathy, his deep feelings, his love for Padmé, etc., Anakin wouldn't find himself vulnerable to the grooming of an older man who saw all this and took the opportunity to twist it all to make him feel pain, fear, anger and hate.

If Qui-Gon Jin had trained Anakin he would've never turned to the Dark Side, I will DIE on this hill and fight EVERYONE, even if I love Obi-Wan

Star Wars ramblings aside, that's Vergil in a nutshell. And I think with him older, currently, he can finally see all of that, because he had a chance to be just demonic, as Urizen, and just human, as V - noticing how everything that happened to him shaped him to feel pain, fear, anger and hate, doing desperate things to protect himself and feel safe.

I argue Vergil hasn't felt safe for a single day in his whole lifetime, and that matters. Because in the end, that's how I write him: a wounded stray dog who knows only pain and hatred from the outside world.

If you try to approach him, he'll first bare his teeth, bark and try to bite you - not because he's mean, but because he's stuck in survival mode and that's his first response to ANYTHING. Just like a wounded stray, you have to approach carefully, offer kindness and show him you're not there to hurt him.

And just like a stray dog, he'll eventually melt and accept that kindness - he just has NO IDEA how that feels like.

✨What about Nero's mother, I hear you ask?✨

Hahahaha so that one I have some doubts myself. I often imagine two scenarios and I still haven't chose one of them to satisfy my heart HAHAHAHA

That might be me projecting, of course, but because of ALL THAT, I don't see Vergil as being open to relationships and one night stands - he takes things too seriously, and that's part of his character.

He either decided to try it out empirically with a one night stand with someone who was kind to him and he wanted to understand that kind of experience to understand himself better and out of curiosity (look, I know this sounds crazy, but that's exactly what I did on my first kiss with a super random guy at a party and I was like "oh, well, that's not for me, I'm gonna stick to kissing people I love, this sucks" and it took a weight off my shoulders)

oooooor he was treated with kindness for the first time in his life and that broke him for a while, he melted under a soft touch and gentle words and couldn't resist trying out new experiences he only had by proxy from his books - and when he woke up next morning, he was reminded how broken he is, how powerless, how not worthy of love not even from his own mother, and left because that would lead to nowhere. Because of him. Because he wasn't worth it - she probably fell for his looks, his heritage, his outside, but when she knew his inside she would run in horror.

Again, Vergil has a lot of issues, the poor man.

When I'm writing Nemesis, we have young Vergil - laser focused on power, proud as fuck, stepping over anything and everything to get what he wants, because life favors the ones who survive. The weak ones should die, that's the law of the jungle and he won't waste his time saving those who can't do it for themselves like he did for himself. When he sees the reader struggling to keep fighting him to protect others, he sees not only Eva, but himself in a will of a survivor who will go through excruciating pain to save themselves. He values that and admires that - admiring the reader as an enemy and having utmost respect.

When he's older, he's trying. And he has a LOT to learn - but his partner has to understand he's the stray dog who knows nothing but harshness. Vergil is quiet, methodical and disciplined, knowing how to live only with himself as company. But now he has a family: he has his brother back, he has a son, he has the whole crew to live alongside him. That's new, harrowing and comforting at the same time.

So, when in doubt, think about how a wounded animal would react - and how you would have to act to be able to approach and help.

Vergil, differently from Dante, is forever stuck in survival mode and has forsaken his humanity so he could keep going. As a younger man, he's ruthless and won't spare efforts to get what he wants because he is desperately trying to not feel vulnerable and worthless as he usually feels. As an older man, he's trying - in his own stupid Mr. Darcy way - to recover, to understand himself better and finally heal that horrible wound in his heart.

But of course. He is still proud, observing, regal and prone to overkill here and there and showing off his skills. These are all inherent to his personality.

(Also. Vergil enjoys some dumb fun sometimes - he only lets it show a tiny little bit when competing with Dante over ANYTHING. If Dante says he can eat a cheeseburger in three bites, Vergil will go above and beyond to eat it in two. Everyone thinks he's just being stupidly competitive with Dante and wants to win against his brother no matter what, but that's just his way of being fun)

Phew! That's quite a lot on the blue devil! Hahaha it isn't everything I keep in mind - of course there are the other things like him being reserved, more on the quiet side, intellectual, methodical, a lover of beauty (like literature, philosophy, poems, etc.), stupidly independent... But I think those traits are more "worldwide" known.

If you take all his trauma and how it affected him into consideration, I think, his personality follows easily. You understand a lot better how he would react in certain situations - in the end, that's what being a writer is all about: creating characters and watching how all of them react to situations given their backgrounds and baggage!

I'm so sorry it's such a HUGE answer, but I do hope it helps. There's a lot to unpack and I didn't want to just "oi, he's a traumatized asshole, that's it" - because you miss the nuances if you just work with that perspective.

Thanks a lot for asking, though, I had fun writing this little essay on Vergil, the man, the myth, the legend HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hope you have a nice weekend and have fun writing!! If you need any advice, even on writing in general, you can always ask me again! As you can see, I'm happy to help and I do love sharing what I know xD

[kikuism]

hi hi ! let's go with 4 and 25 for noriko and naomi; 18 and 21 for kikou; 9 for noriko and kou; 26 for nana and kaname.

wait, mariam, i forgot one- 20 for naomi and kiku! and while we're at it, 9 for them too~

hiii res tysm for sending!! <333 going to combine them all in one~

noriko and naomi

4. how would they describe each other if asked? physically? in personality?

*street interview style*

noriko: stepped right out of a ukiyoe print onto the paris fashion week runway. she's a popsicle—ice cold, you bite too fast, oh shit, brain freeze—easier if you're patient, but you'll still catch your teeth on the hard spine underneath. but man, she's cute, crack her open just so and she'll start going off about the beatles toxic yaoi.

naomi: piercings. (what's the first thing gojo noticed about geto: his bangs. same energy) she is rather fond of technology, so—i liken her to a sleek motorcycle decorated with the most absurdly colored stickers. she's loud, confident, takes up space—a bose surround sound speaker system. shall i keep going?

25. if a stranger saw them together, how would they describe their relationship?

a cheery knight out on a jaunt with the haughty princess. she refuses every attempt at chivalry. noriko can't resist holding open doors for her, after you, my lady, really playing up the part.

kikou

18. do they view their relationship as temporary or permanent?

wow.......................this question goes right for the jugular

kou, with all things, has a 'whatever happens, happens' attitude while kiku is like 'i'm going to make this happen i'm going to break the cycle' while shaking in cold sweat. they both of course really want this to be something that lasts, especially as the years go by and they feel fully cemented with each other, like it's only natural this is how things should be. alas, kiku's side of things introduces a lot of...complications. not even the most obvious obstacle but just. the classism. it's tough! in my head though they persevere :')

21. what is their worst memory together?

these questions............you're choosing violence i see how it is

i've actually never seriously thought about it before until now. in very nebulous fragments in my mind i see them going through a tough spell after they manage to make a new life for themselves away from their families, maybe they bit off more than they could chew, tensions arise, did you really think this through, etc. but again, it's not the Worst, just a rough patch.

what i think is more probable, though, and what i see more clearly, is related to the previous question .... i think it really tests everything they have in them, turning it into something permanent, crossing that final hurdle. tensions run rampant. it's when their personalities clash against each other the most. making a stand is antithetical to kiku’s modus operandi (because he knows, he knows so clearly what will happen if he is upfront about the future he has in mind for himself, there's no point in trying, he's terrified of his worst thoughts coming to fruition) but kou argues if he is serious, if he is committed, he’ll stand up for them without a second thought—if you tried and it didn't work out, at least you tried, you can't live with the regret of never having tried. he is gentle but firm with him. i know it's hard, but you have to make a decision. if it never worked out..........kiku would be heartbroken, just absolutely crushed, while i can see kou slowly, eventually bouncing back from it, letting their time together fossilize over his heart, forever a beautiful part of him. wow that was devastating to type out 👍

kiku and naomi

9. what is one quality they have in common?

they are both pathological people pleasers. nowhere is this more apparent than in their relationship with their parents....We Cannot Disappoint Our Parents Who Have Provided For Us A Way Of Life That Most Other People Dream Of. they are keenly aware of their privilege because their parents always made sure to point it out while they were growing up—to humble them, to keep them in line. it's a delicious mix of gratitude and guilt and resentment—that they don't ever have to worry for anything, that nothing they do will ever measure up to what they've been given (with great privilege comes great expectations), that their parents were away so often for work, they never really got to spend any Quality time together. it's a lot! they are doormats when it comes to their parents, letting them step over them, tamping down on anything too raw and vulnerable.....not even for a smidgen of approval, but just to uphold the peace. this did wonders for developing their personalities :) they have the same issue manifested differently—naomi is an expert in passive aggression while kiku skirts and dodges around the truth.

interestingly enough, though, kiku—whose desires clash heavily with the front he puts on (honne vs tatemae)—actually acts on his desires instead of quietly pushing them aside, and that's what ultimately differentiates him and naomi. it's not that naomi doesn't want things, kiku just Really Wants It More, and he resists it at the start, of course he does, but he can't help who he is and what he wants, and kou....well, even the most stubborn bud blossoms around him. there's a thrill in doing so, in keeping a secret, in engaging in even more furtive pleasures within these confines. he never outright disobeys his parents, but there's the thrill of going against them this way. obsessed with the image of polite, obedient-to-a-fault kiku pointedly ignoring the messages on his phone—reminding him not to be late for dinner—since he's too busy making out with kou <3 also slightly obsessed with honne and tatemae brushing against each other at the dinner table as he discreetly adjusts his collar to hide the bruise on his collarbone.

on a lighter note, they both have impeccable taste in clothing, owing to their mother. you will Not catch them slacking in that department, they have a good eye for aesthetics.

20. what is their best memory together?

:') this is like having to choose a best memory with my siblings, it's literally impossible, they're like beads on a string. one highlight is when they cook together for the first time and it's a disaster bc for once they're both on the same ground, both equally helpless, oh god this is pathetic we have to at least get the basics under our belts. tamagoyaki leads them to near tears and a newfound appreciation for their mother.

noriko and kou

9. what is a quality they have in common?

they are both very confident and self assured people who won't hesitate to speak their minds. they have a strong, healthy friendship because they communicate on a regular basis, there's no hiding or beating around the bush, and i think because of this, when they have fights, it can get particularly nasty, because they can both be ruthless.

kaname and nana:

26. how would these characters react to being stuck in a small room with each other?

kaname's immediate reaction is to try and kick down the door, smash the handle. there is nothing worse than being in close quarters with someone who might just get a glimpse of something real and vulnerable skating across her surface. nana trails after her. 'is this helpful? does this make you feel better?' kaname's cursing at her split knuckle. 'shitfuckgoddamn.' / 'we’re here for a while, so let's make the most of our time. we have to stick together, kane-chan.' / 'it's a locked room. we are in a locked room, dimwit.' / 'come on, lay your head in my lap, i'll tell you a story to pass the time.' cue grumbling and mumbling and eventual acquiescence. she's a dog after all. it's instinctive to obey.

[shinidamachu]

Reach for Me

SUMMARY: Where are you? I can't find you Broke in two, left behind you Reach for me I'm falling deep

WORDS: 779

GENRE: angst

FANDOM: Inukag

FORMAT: drabble

ALSO FOUND ON: AO3

She had never looked more beautiful.

And Inuyasha should know.

For countless moons now, he had seen Kagome in every possible way. Be it wearing her strange modern clothes, his Fire Rate robe or nothing at all, on the rare occasions in which he got blessed enough to accidentally find himself in the presence of her naked form. 

He had seen all kinds of emotions grace her face, a few of which he didn’t even have a name for, but something about her made a diligent student out of him, longing to learn. 

And he had seen her under the light of a thousand stars — on secret dates that were neither a secret nor would any of them dare to call it a date —, bathed in sunshine, in moonlight, with wind in her hair, wet from the pouring rain, or the shower, or sweat, humidity highlighting the curl of her strands just the way he liked it. He had seen her sleeping, singing, dancing. Crying for his sake, asking to stay by his side. With her cheeks painted a deep scarlet from something stupid he said or a blossoming into a soft pink from something bold he did. 

It didn’t matter the occasion, the part of herself Kagome decided to gift him with. Inuyasha was always there to receive it, to carve these little moments on his mind for as long as he lived — the moments Kagome had been so absurdly gorgeous it made his heart ache.

And yet, nothing could compare to the heavenly vision currently beside him.

Inuyasha couldn’t explain why, exactly. In theory, there were hardly any differences between the Kagome standing right there and the one he grew fond of — dressed in her school uniform, bow in hand, remaining arrows safely resting inside her quiver. Except this time she was drained, understandably so. Her face was uncharacteristically dirty and, he most definitely knew, hidden bruises had to be sporting her skin. 

Still, Kagome smiled. She smiled like she wasn’t about to pass out from exhaustion. She smiled like it was natural, like she couldn’t help it. She smiled like someone who had just accomplished their life long mission, like after risking everything, giving everything to achieve it, she had finally fulfilled her purpose on this Earth. 

She smiled like it was all worth it. And following her line of vision to find an empty handed monk and a jubilant demon slayer, Inuyasha couldn’t deny it was.

But he should never have looked away.

It only took a second, a false sense of security willing him to let his guard down and suddenly he feared the last thing he would ever see from her was that dazzling smile disappearing in favor of sheer panic while his clawed hands reached out to hers and missed by a hair, the meido taking her with no warning, no mercy, the portal that connected their worlds vanishing as well.

Only their bond transcended the very rules of the twist of fate that had brought them together. Nothing could keep Kagome from him. Not time, not space, not destiny itself.

Inuyasha opened a scar on the fabric of the universe and navigated a sea of monsters, only to get to her, only to find her. It was no surprise that he did and it was no surprise that she was waiting for him to come, because the definite truth, the undeniable fact neither Naraku or the sacred jewel seemed to understand, was that Kagome came into this world to be with him and he was born for her as well.

That knowledge culminated into a long time coming kiss, his thoughts consumed by all things Kagome, her sweet taste on his lips, his arms around her, exactly where they belonged. Everything else seemed to have melted away and he wouldn’t have minded staying that way forever, but Kagome had a wish to make.

It sounded fitting that she would be the one to save them all and Inuyasha was relieved to return her to her family like he promised. Kagome ran to her worried sick mother and they hugged tight as she tried to explain what happened.

She barely had the time to thank him before Inuyasha was blinded by the lights. Now he was the one slipping from her fingers. Before they could react, before they could say goodbye, he was forcefully thrown back into his own era.

But he knew, he knew that she would come back to him the same way he went back for her. No matter how long the wait, no matter what would take, Inuyasha was sure.

He was going to see that smile again.

A/N.: so a long time ago I posted an ask game in which I'd write a little something based on the songs or lyrics people would sent me and someone suggested "Reach for Me by Skillet" which I immediately associated with this especific moment of the series.

Plus today's prompt for @inukag-week is "smile" and I have an unhealthy obsession with Kagome's right before she falls into the meido, so there you have it.

[soot-and-salt]

for the fanfic ask game: F and N!!!!

Hello anon!!

(Question from this list of fanfic author questions - come ask me more!)

F. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

This is so hard because writing dialogue is my favorite. Okay let's see. Off the top of my head I thought of:

"You," Vox growled as he sidled up next to Alastor. "Me," the Radio Demon replied with a special shit eating grin he kept in reserve only for him. He took another sip of the admittedly very nice whiskey (one point in this terrible club's favor, his internal review of the place jumping from minus 4 to minus 3 stars). Vox snapped his fingers at the bartender and a drink was put in his hand immediately. "Manners," Alastor chided. "You can tell so much about a person by how they treat waitstaff, you know." "Fuck you, first of all," Vox said, pointing the glass at him accusingly, "second of all, what the fuck are you of all people doing at the trendiest night club in the whole city? I thought you'd burn to a crisp like a vampire walking into a church if you set foot into a place that refused to act like culture stopped evolving after the Great Depression." Alastor huffed a laugh. "I'll have you know, my dear, that I enjoy an evening out every so often. I'm not a nun." "And, so, what? You guys picked here?" A disbelieving chuckle clung to his words, glitchy and warped. Vox leaned into Alastor's personal space a little, screen lighting up with one of his patented shark toothed grins. "I had no idea you were so fond of EDM music, must have missed that segment on your little radio program." Alastor refused to take a step back, instead letting his smile turn into something sleek and serpentine. "Oh, so you do listen to my program! I was wondering who's been writing me all that deranged fan mail lately, so good to find an answer to that little mystery!" Tinny canned laughter played through his static, a few whoops thrown in for good measure.

(sic)

"Pfft, lucky for you! If this place wasn't warded I'd beat your ass so hard they'd have to sell your hide as ground venison." Vox let his own internal studio audience ohhh at the insult, grin dripping with malice and pixelated saliva. The Radio Demon rolled his eyes, his monocle a shard of glittering red in the dark of the club, elbow leaned primly against the bartop. "My dear fellow, it would be a miracle if you could even lay a fingertip on me before I rend you down into scrap metal and sell you for pennies." Valentino slotted himself between them, angling for the bartenders attention. "Girls, girls, cut it out, you're both pretty."

It's from my radiostatic fic Betty Boop Then The Beat Drops which I'm still bizarrely fond of, even though I think it could be a better fic in places. The reason why I love this dialogue is because I think it's so SNAPPY. I love BANTER and Vox and Alastor do it SO damn well. They're both the very definition of catty bitches and they love to quip at each other. Alastor's snark is sharp and witty while Vox's is a little more bravado-heavy, but it works so well. This section was an absolute JOY to write. They're both so MEAN. Writing their snark lets me let out MY inner catty bitch and it's the best time ever.

The end bit with Valentino, who is bizarrely a RIOT to write, is just so absurdly funny that I can't help but include it. They're all fucking terrible and it makes for fantastic comedy.

Is there better, wittier, snappier dialogue in stuff like Fetch Quest or the Cursed Cat Alastor fic or the one where Valentino teaches Alastor gen z slang? Completely. But for whatever reason these two being dicks to each other here is so funny to me that I can't help but hold it dear. It just sounds like them, I can hear it so clearly in their voices. Now that's good television dialogue!

N. Is there a fic you wish something else would write (or finish) for you?

I'm not going to tag him here, because the good doctor just started his residency and he has enough going on (so tell him I said nice things!), but DEAR GOD do I wish I could pick Prince-liest's brain on how to write Vox in a sexy context. HOW DOES HIS BODY WORK???

I had a great idea for kink week back in June involving Vox and Alastor and I failed completely at writing it because I just could not figure out in my head how Vox's whole deal worked. It's mostly why I haven't written anything smutty in a radiostatic context yet. I'm utterly flummoxed on how to write Vox's body.

Prince is the fucking GOAT at it, though. His 666: Live On Air! series is FANTASTIC. Literally the gold standard for demented radiostatic and his Vox is exceptional. Prince absolutely understands how that weirdo's body works, in lots of different iterations even, and executes it flawlessly in his writing. Completely believable, completely makes sense. I bow down before him.

Don't get me wrong, I'll get there at some point, but MAN. Vox, buddy, the actual fuck are you, my guy. Prince, sir, doc, I don't know how you do it but I tip my proverbial hat to you.

[gravesung-moving]

“That Technique of yours; it really lets ya see Cursed Energy all the time?” It really ain’t that Haruka doubts the other’s explanation about it, but Geto’d told her recently that she should be a bit more confident in askin’ after stuff she was curious about (well, when she paraphrases’im, that’s what he’d said). She also just has no other clue on how to approach most people that ain’t him, so this was all she could think of. // some kinda early meeting between jjk Sakura and Chiaki :0 ? @cherriedrage

unprompted / always accepting! @cherriedrage

❝ YEAH, ESSENTIALLY. BUT i don't see it the way everyone else does. ❞ it's absurdly simple, yet at the same time it is anything but. during her first class at jujutsu tech, yaga pulled her aside for extra lessons to help her catch up to the other students who already knew what jujutsu was — goodness knows he didn't trust gojo to explain anything to her. after several exercises that helped him get a sense for her technique, he explained that it was deceptively simple, which meant it had the potential to be very powerful if she learned to use it the right way. some techniques, like geto's and gojo's, are near-devastating regardless of the holder of the technique; hers is one with a lot of potential, but requiring a masterful and creative brain to fulfill that potential.

chiaki doubts she'll be able to live up to his expectations. even so, she has been unwittingly using her technique since she was very small, and by now it has become more an extension of her limbs than anything. she gives sakura a curious look. chiaki's seen her around, mostly stuck close to suguru's side, and wondered what the deal was. the draw has been there for some time given their shared qualities — mismatched eyes, a form of albinism ( though granted, chiaki still hides her own ), and a fondness for geto.

a pause; she raises her hands, interlocks her fingers, and pulls them apart. one by one, thin strands of light pulse into being around the two of them. tens into hundreds into thousands, a matrix of living, shifting threads crisscrossing over each other seemingly infinitely. with a new pattern pulled from her hands, she slightly alters the hues to differentiate between chiaki's and sakura's cursed energy. ❝ see? it's like this. except everywhere, and all the time. it has to be within my line of sight for me to be able to sense it, and it's a lot harder to manipulate cursed energy produced by other sorcerers because they have it so tightly controlled. but once i have it? ❞ she plucks a strand of her own cursed energy from the air without moving a finger, lets it shoot down to the ground between them and lasso around a pebble, lifting it into the air like a dangling yo-yo. ❝ theoretically, you can sort of do anything. i'm just... limited in understanding, still. so mostly i use it to control the battlefield from far away and move objects around, or learn how people's cursed techniques work by watching the way their threads weave themselves. ❞

[fandom-geek]

just finished my first run of bg3. spoilers for basically everything, although i don't actually go into too much detail abt the actual climax, more the ending cutscenes and companion quests.

i love jergal so much. that just needs to stand on its own. he's such a sassy skeleton git who hides the fact he still cares for humanity under it all - his scene with arabella was one of my favourite moments of the entire game.

(on that note, anyone else assuming his whole "follow the weave" thing to her is him basically protecting her? finding her in act 3 surrounded by four dead adults while she has a nary a scratch certainly makes me think she's got some secret godly supervision going on).

anyway - the ending.

i think that if i hadn't been warned that there aren't any epilogue slides, i would've been disappointed. so i'm glad i knew that, even it still felt a bit abrupt because of it. but hey! given larian's history with expanded/definitive editions, i'm guessing we'll either get it in a patch several months from now or in bg3's expanded edition.

personally, i think the section from when you enter the morphic pool to when you kill the netherbrain feels very rough and abrupt. very rough. but the rest of the game is just so stupidly perfect as far as i'm concerned, with like one exception for the cut content for karlach. which is blatantly obvious even without looking at datamining, because why else would we get a ton of different types of infernal metal in act 3?

and god i would've loved to see the upper city (as advertised, larian!) and the ducal palace before it all went to shit. cazador's palace was clearly meant to be there, and i was really looking forward to my urchin tav (malias) actually walking around the upper city and having opinions.

(on that note, i loved that bust gortash has in his office [which was presumably meant to be in the ducal office but anyway!] where the founder of the counting house was an ex-urchin who didn't give a shit abt the patriars because they never cared for him before he became important. malias absolutely would've found that an inspiration for any upper city shenanigans)

but those ending cutscenes on the pier? pretty great, even if i was internally screeching the whole time gale was talking because hey astarion is right there in the sunlight and he doesn't have a tadpole. but thank god gale was just like "yeah, you're right, leaving it there is probably a good idea".

and his line abt some things being more important than power! i adore that line. it's essentially the point of everyone's quests, that power imprisons you and the most important thing in life is the freedom to choose. and of course gale is the one to verbalise that, and to openly say how fond he is of everyone!

then gale made his slightly dickish comment about astarion fleeing, lol. boys, please.

honestly that felt hilariously fitting to my playthrough where i accidentally fell into romancing gale while intentionally romancing astarion, and broke it off with gale (despite never actually being with him). yes buddy, i know you're still a bit salty about that. please wait until malias isn't distraught over their boyfriend literally burning up and running off in front of them.

(to detour for a moment - again, thank you larian for letting me play a nonbinary characters. honestly, that alone makes it a game in its own sphere of perfection, especially since vtmb 2 originally promised that then cut it then maybe it's back in with the new studio??? genuinely perked up with happiness whenever someone used the right pronouns or referred to malias in a clearly gender neutral way.)

even if astarion fleeing and his lines about it were genuinely agonising. at least the romanced cutscene with him started immediately afterwards - i was kinda debating between the "heroes" and "sunlight" options, but honestly? as absurdly good-aligned as malias is, i absolutely think they'd value helping astarion to have the freedom to walk in the sun over being heroes. pretty sure this whole adventure has shown they're pretty good at that multi-tasking element lol. and i love that astarion is so happy about going on another adventure.

like not to go tmi, but astarion's character and plot was... painfully relatable, especially when he just started sobbing after killing cazador, and it's just so good that you can give him a happy future. not an ending, of course, because i don't doubt he and malias will get into a fuckton of mischief, but like he says - he's free! it's just such a perfect moment. my favourite companion and companion quest by an absolute country mile.

i'm also just internally assuming that malias sprinted off after astarion as soon as karlach's near death brush was finished - i am so glad i went the "have my cake and eat it" route of breaking wyll's pact and saving his dad regardless. it lets wyll and malias/tav persuade karlach to return, swearing that she'll be safe from zariel, and personally malias would absolutely be looking for a way to help karlach return safely while off finding a way for astarion to walk in the sunlight.

(also i'm a bit curious abt what others think - there's a little bit of ambiguity abt whether it's just going for the sunlight, or straight up curing his vampiric nature. after all, as his grave inscription happily points out, he was turned 194 years ago and the true resurrection time limit is 200 years. since gale wants to stick around, he can call in a favour with elminster to figure out a way to do that.)

and to backtrack for a second, i am happy that malias persuaded lae'zel to make her own path instead of following orpheus' orders! was it selfish? probably, yeah, which was a bit surprising from how otherwise strongly good-aligned malias is but between that and the mindflayer choice after freeing orpheus (i asked orpheus to do that), i just... think malias doesn't want to lose that.

to explain smth for a sec, i'm going back and forth on whether to keep malias' backstory as is (urchin/orphan who grew up in the lower city) or to make them my dark urge character. from what i've heard of the dark urge, it really ties into my favourite character dynamics and themes (and seems a bit reminiscent of kotor lol), so it's a little bit of debate.

but either way, i think malias would override any moral concerns of goodness for "fuck that, this is my family and i am not losing them". regardless of which backstory i end up picking, that's definitely staying the same. but malias as a former orphan and street kid sure as fuck isn't giving up on their new and beloved family. so yeah, i think the moral concerns of "ok you were just told to go save the githyanki as a whole" would be pushed to the side of "you've always been following orders your entire life, i want you to be free".

and if lae'zel chooses to go help the gith regardless? that's great. but malias would want it to be her choice, not orders she feels obligated to follow.

i also love that you get to say "yes, let's go to the pub to celebrate!". even if we don't see it on-screen, i just love it. those fuckers (astarion included once someone managed to throw something thick enough over him so he didn't burn en route) absolutely partied until they crashed and they fucking deserved it. i love my found family shit so much. and i'm guessing that probably ties into the cut epilogue stuff, even if that was meant to be six months later.

but yeah. i just fucking love it all. now time to do my dark urge run, which i heavily suspect will also be an astarion romance again just bc i'm curious how those differences pan out.

[runawaycarouselhorse]

I will never, ever, ever understand why Deerling is not more popular, but I'm glad the BW! anime gives them so much love and they fill the forest bordering Nuvema Town. They're often in crowd scenes in the Best Wishes! anime, to the point that a user on here has managed to identify that BW! takes place in about half a year because the Deerling are consistently in Spring form in the first half and Summer form in the second half. ;3; (Deerling pixel art by ohdeerling--but the post has been deleted!)

So darling. So sweet. I have never loved a Pokemon this much before... and I'm very fond of the entire Litwick line. I love most fox Pokemon, love Eevee and Vulpix and Ninetales.

But Deerling... cute pastel fawns with flowers... their big, innocent eyes! Their cute, delicate, little limbs. Their adorable fluffy tails!

I think Deerling, various Grass, Fairy, and Ghost types are unique among my top favourites because I didn't become attached to them via a favourite human/trainer in the anime, but just for themselves. Like, I got attached to Arbok and Dustox because of Jessie training them (Arbok even made me love real life snakes and Dustox made me stop fearing moths!), but I wouldn't have likely fallen for them without loving their trainer first...

(Dancing Mawile animation by abgallery. ^^)

Before the introduction of the Fairy type, I used to just say I had Lass-like tastes in Pokemon, fff. Mostly the cute, pink, and round ones... Alcremie is another top Fairy favourite, but so is Mawile! If a Pokemon has both creepiness and cuteness going for it, that's ideal. The creepy-cute Fairy Tale Girls class is one I feel suits me more now!

I have always loved, for instance, many Ghost types because of my fondness for horror... I'm especially fond of Frillish, I find it elegant and beautiful, yet also adorable. I love their fairy tale royalty aesthetics, I love their cute, dainty lashes, their little crowns, their veil-like fluttering tendrils/tentacles, their ability to paralyze prey with their venomous embrace... even if I'm not fond of their evolved forms.

I adore so many Grass types that look like flowers, including the similar underrated (in my opinion) Hoppip line, Bellossom and Lilligant! They're cute, darling, and refreshing to look at.

Togepi was a childhood favourite, alongside Eevee and Mew, because of how adorable and baby-like I found it in the anime. I always loved the idea of being a mother, so Togepi was endearing!! I still have a Hasbro reversible Togepi plush from 1998. I took her with me before I began my first paying job in June of 2022. ^^

But I've never been so attached to a Pokemon that any time I see it, I feel this big of a burst of joy, and feel like it's truly mine, like I do Deerling. I'm almost happy it isn't absurdly popular, because it makes collecting it a lot easier, if there isn't much to collect. ^^;;;; A few plushies (Sitting Cuties, Jakks Pacific standing, musical--different sizes, different Season forms), a bunch of smaller and more cheaply made kid's toys, Jakks Pacific action figures, keychains, stickers, and trading cards.

(Deerling pixel art by starfruut.) I don't even want a huge collection, I'm happy with just a few pieces I really like, I love Spring Deerling most of all, but Autumn Deerling also grew on me.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

About Me: Favorite Pokemon

Pokemon is a series very near and dear to my heart. From my early experiences watching the anime and playing the card game to staying up all night in the hospital playing Pokemon Crystal to getting my first-ever game of my own (Sapphire) and picking my first starter (Torchic), I just have an endless stream of positive memories of this franchise.

Of course, most of the positive memories wouldn’t be half as good without all the Pokémon I befriended along the way. There’s over a thousand of these creatures now and while I don’t think any Pokémon is bad, I’ve obviously come to like some more than other. That’s what this list is for.

Unfortunately, due to the image limit on posts I had to cut this list down from 50 to 30 so that there wouldn’t be twenty boring blank spaces like I had to do with my video game list. A lack of pictures there is whatever, but when I can’t showcase the designs of the critters I’m talking about, there’s a big issue. This means there’s a lot of honorable mentions: Klefki, Jynx, Slither Wing, Lapras, Garbodor, Lunala, every single Eeveelution, Armaldo, Farfetch'd, Sirfetch'd, Ditto, Pheromosa, Buzzwole, Mew, Xurkitree, Lucario, Gimmighoul, Zoroark, Claydol, Walking Wake, Rotom, Porygon2, Chien-Pao, Iron Thorns, Sceptile, Gallade, Togekiss, Spiritomb, Grimmsnarl, Mimikyu, Scrafty, Sigilyph, Zacian, Florges, Eternal Flower Floette, Lilligant, Bisharp, Kingambit, Wishiwashi, Tatsugiri, Bronzong, Rayquaza, Dracovish, Hydreigon, Blacephalon, and Dracozolt. Yeah, there's a thousand of these, so narrowing down my favorites is no easy task.

30. Unown

Unown is probably one of the most worthless Pokemon when it comes to battling seeing as they only know Hidden Power and have pitiful stats (partly because their attacking stats are still spread as if the physical/special split never happened), but I lfind their overall suckiness kind of endearing. I like the weird concept behind them being living hieroglyphs, and the mysteries surrounding them really make me wish they were utilized more in the stories of the games. I'm not asking for them to be as badass as they were in the Entei movie, but come on, throw these guys a bone!

29. Qwilfish

One of the absurdly rare joke Pokemon of Gen II, Qwilfish wasn't one I thought of very often... that is until I got one over the GTS back in the DS days. She was a shiny, her name was Butt Bomb, and her OT was Bakura. Ever since I got her, I have always loved this stupid mine/blowfish hybrid, and I was absolutely elated to find out it got a badass evolution in Overqwil when Pokemon Legends Arceus came out.

28. Sneasler

Speaking of Arceus, I have to say that Sneasler is my favorite Hisuian evolution. I've always loved Sneasel, especially since one in LeafGreen ended up becoming one of my first ever level 100 Pokemon in that game. I kind of didn't like that it lost so much Sneasel-ness upon evolving into Weavile, but Sneasler certainly fixes that problem. It's all right there in the name, where the original is Sneasel, this one is even Sneasler. More Sneasel, less problems.

27. Meowstic

These weird little Psychic cats are just a lot of fun, and I honestly like them more than their more iconic pre-evolutions. Gen VI gets a lot of flak, especially considering how few Pokemon it introduced, but considering it brought this sexually dimorphic extrasensory feline into existence I'm fine with it. Quality over quantity.

26. Kecleon

It has one of the most clunky gimmicks out there, but I'm still fond of this little chameleon. It's such a fun Pokemon to track down be it in Gen III, their remakes, or even Go, and it is one of the single most terrifying foes you can battle in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. I even love its stupid shiny that only changes its stripe.

25. Dudunsparce

After years of fans begging for Dunsparce to finally receive an evolution, one that would be some badass dragon that completely misses the point of Dunsparce's whole joke, Gen IX delivered with... a Dunsparce that has an extra segment in its body. It is genuinely one of the greatest trolls in existence, and the fact there's a special form that's even longer really goes to show that Dunsparce was always perfect and the only thing they could even imagine doing as improvement is giving us more Dunsparce.

24. Alcremie

I love Pokémon with bafflingly cryptic evolution methods, and while Runerigus probably takes the cake in terms of Gen VIII Pokemon, Alcremie quits literally is the cake. The fact you have to decorate it’s pre-evolution, then spin around in a circle with the direction, number of spins, and even time of day affecting the ultimate outcome of what color Alcremie you’ll get. No matter what, the end result is the cutest food-themed Pokémon yet.

23. Shedinja

Finding this Pokémon on my own as a kid was such a fun surprise. The Nincada I’d lovingly raised evolved, but I got not just one evolution but some weird shedded husk? Fucking awesome. Ghost types really have some of the most inventive designs in the whole series, and this one hit point wonder is a shining example of that.

22. Archeops

If there wasn’t an image limit on posts, I could fill up a list with fossil Pokemon as I love almost all of them. But my favorite of them all is definitely this awkward, struggling proto-bird that hits like a truck until it gets too many boo-boos and just gives up. It’s kind of relatable.

21. Iron Valiant

As much as I prefer the Paradox Pokemon in Scarlet to the ones in Violet due to their more wild designs, my favorite Paradox of all is one of the robots. It’s a very unique design among its cybernetic brethren, incorporating elements of both Gardevoir and Gallade into one awesome ‘mon. It’s quite literally the best of both worlds, and the colorless shiny version looks even better.

20. Salazzle

For a series with such a massive furry fandom, it’s honestly pretty impressive they managed to have the restraint to avoid creating a deliberately sexy design for six generations. And when they finally caved in the seventh, they made that design a venomous, fire-breathing succubus salamander. I love this stupid sexy lizard, especially that stunning shiny.

19. Chandelure

Some people hate the Pokémon based on inanimate objects, which I’ve always found stupid; a good chunk of Pokémon are based off of Yokai, and guess what a lot of Yokai are? My favorite of this brand of Pokémon is definitely the killer chandelier ons, another example of how Ghost types get all the coolest designs.

18. Meloetta

Such a simple yet elegant design for this mythical ‘mon. I really wish its gimmick was a bit more useful in combat, but when you look as good as it does it’s forgivable.

17. Milotic

The elegant, defensive counterpart to the rough, offensive Gyarados, Milotic was almost always a bitch and a half to acquire in the older games, but damn if they weren’t worth the effort of fishing up a Feebas!

16. Scizor

How do you make a mantis-velociraptor hybrid monster even cooler? Make it turn into a red steel mantis monster that can dish out and tank hits better than ever. Easily my favorite Pokémon introduced in the

15. Gardevoir

Look, Gardevoir has a bit of a reputation on the internet, but that's not the reason I love it. I've adored it since I was a little kid, playing Sapphire for the first time and adding this pretty Psychic being to my team to help me crush my foes. It's such a beautiful, elegant creature, and contributes a great deal to my overwhelming adoration of the Fairy type after retroactively being given it.

14. Hatterene

Gen VIII got its very own Gardevoir in this beautiful witchy Fairy, but there's a bit of a twist here; where Gardevoir loves and guards its trainer with its life, Hatterene will beat the ever-living shit out of anyone it senses is experiencing strong emotions. It's much more in line with mythical fairies than a lot of its kin, and the fact it's a pretty tough fighter only makes it more appealing to me. Love a girl that's both beautiful and deadly.

13. Roserade

I was always a big fan of Roselia even back as a kid, but I was a bit sad at how it wasn't really a viable fighter. Thankfully, I only needed to wait a single generation for that problem to be solved with a gorgeous evolution. Gen IV really knocked it out of the park with improving old 'mons with great new evolutions, but Roselia got the best of the bunch in my eyes.

12. Tinkaton

This is a Pokemon that just about everyone loves, but how can you not love it? It's a violent little gremlin with a hammer three times as big as its body that loves to antagonize birds by knocking rocks into the sky. The best Fairy Pokemon combine cute designs with those mischievous folkloric fairy antics, and Tinkaton is the best mix of those around.

11. Deoxys

As a kid, I saw a rumor back on the internet saying that if you watched the rockets in Mossdeep City enough times, eventually you'd get to ride one to the moon and battle Deoxys. I laughed this off, thinking this was a fake rumor for a fake Pokemon... and then the movie Destiny Deoxys, one of my favorites of the series, dropped, and I was in that space station every day hoping to go to the moon. I'd have to wait til Gen VI for that dream to be realized, but this bizarre alien virus has always remained one of my favorite Pokemon regardless of how hard to acquire it tends to be.

10. Lurantis

I love how clever it is conceptually; it's a reverse orchid mantis, a plant pretending to be a bug. And it's a very cute plant at that! I don't care if its slow as molasses like nearly every other Alola Pokemon, Lurantis is an absolute cutie and I'm happy it has consistently made the cut even with the Pokedex being trimmed in the newer games.

9. Blaziken

My first ever starter, and one that will always hold a special place in my heart. It's hard not to love an actual fighting cock in a series accused of being superpowered cockfighting.

8. Zeraora

Probably one of the least popular mythical Pokemon out there, but if Zeraora has only one fan, I am that fan. There's just something about its design that really appeals to me, and no, it's not just because I'm a furry.

7. Ceruledge

Ghosts just really have the best designs. A living suit of armor that's also on fire and has flaming ghost swords for hands? Literal perfection.

6. Pyukumuku

Yet another bizarre gimmick Pokemon, in the vein of Shuckle or Wobbuffet as it learns no attacking moves and has pitiful offensive stats in return for sky-high defenses. This little gimmick creature is absurdly adorable compared to those two though, and it fights by barfing up its insides in the form of a giant fist. Plus, it has the best green shiny ever, going from a mere sea cucumber to a sea pickle.

5. Volcarona

Tyranitar and Hydreigon are the Godzilla and Ghidorah of Pokemon, but the trifecta is not complete for that all-out attack without Mothra. Enter Volcarona, the best and most beautiful Bug in the series. It's got absurdly high stats, an incredibly fluffy design, and an absurdly high level requirement to evolve, but boy is it ever worth it.

4. Obstagoon

The only good Gene Simmons ever did for the world is inspire this upgrade for the oft-forgotten Linoone. Of course, much better than its KISS-inspired base color is its shiny alt, which is a garish glam rock/Bowie-esque bright red and blue goon.

3. Meowscarada

I'm usually the type who starts off with a Fire starter, or on rare occasions the Water one. I almost never start with a Grass one... but Scarlet was the exception, because this gorgeous trickster stage magician cat is just too fucking cool to pass up on.

2. Cinderace

God, I love Cinderace. It has such a sleek, cool design that makes it my favorite Fire/Fighting starter despite not even having the Fighting type. It's nimble, acrobatic, and can kick your ass into next Sunday, but it doesn't have that bitch of a type combo despite all signs pointing to it. What a funny bunny.

1. Absol

Absol, and especially its Mega Evolution, are the very best Pokemon to me. I love their design, I love their tragic backstory that over the years has come to acknowledge how the Pokemon has become widely beloved by the fanbase... I trained one up to level 100 back before the Phsyical/Special split, and in those days this thing was next to useless in a fight. That's how deep my love for this Pokemon goes.

[alltheotherblogs]

My most recent obsession, and how I've been obsessed with it my whole life.

Some people will understand what it's like to be too poor to actually do the things you want to do. Others won't quite get it. But for me that thing I've always wanted to do was FIGHTING!! Fighting is my heart and soul. Without combat, I'd be nothing but some bland boring husk. I've talked about this before, how if I was born even a few years back in time things would be different. Well, it's true! Fact is that with supply and demand, there is not a lot of demand to become a fighter. So gyms hike up prices to be able to make rent. Especially in an ever more fucked up economy. That leads me to my obsession... The fantasy of being a fighter. And the manga Hajime no Ippo. All of you know I'm a writer, a pretty intense one too. If I write these massive paragraphs every other day, imagine how often I'm writing in my books! Ippo, Baki, and so many others have given me the motivation I need to keep going, and they've made me happy to watch and enjoy fighting again. Because before, it just felt like torture. But now, it feels like maybe one day I'll really be there, in that ring, with an opponent that is about to be very very sad that they lost. The saddest part is that I am an ideal boxer, or fighter in general. I get gassy yeah but if I had a proper diet I wouldn't. In general, I find it easy to cycle through weight classes. Very easy. I just wish I had the equipment! The supplies to actually take this matter into my own hands... But the system is rigged against me. Even though I can fight, step into that ring, and walk out a winner, the fact is you NEED a trainer and a manager. You can't actually do it without them, they don't let you and those guys need a license to be a trainer or manager. So, yeah. I'm screwed! It's a money thing, and I don't have money. And if I had money I wouldn't have time. I want to work a lot of jobs and my current favorite option is to be a firefighter, or to actually profit off one of my books. Obviously the book thing isn't gonna happen, that's another money thing to actually publish it, even online... Maybe I'll just start another blog and start putting up pages there. That doesn't cost money, lol. Might get noticed one day.

Anywaysssss yeah. Read hajime no ippo. It's really good. I like to voice the characters sometimes, just for fun even though I'm alone. And I'm really really fond of Takemura's voice in the show. He and I have the same voice type so it's easy to do an impression of him. Another thing related to Ippo is the ps3 japan exclusive boxing game based on ippo, it's absurdly good. You should all check it out. It takes maybe 3 hours to set it all up.

[nocaptainonthisship]

twenty questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @wyrd-syster and @bad-surprise!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

9, as of this moment, but 10 by the end of the week.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just over 85k which feels both low and absurdly high.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively, Rings of Power, though I've also got a Captain Swan one-shot, and dabbled briefly with Reylo.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(Artanis) -- my beloved. In which Halbrand is an international superstar, and Galadriel is the girl who broke his heart.

To Make A Queen -- the beginning of it all. I wanted to write a one-shot to remove the haladriel brain rot. It became a two-shot. 11 months later, we're here.

it will come back -- my longest complete work to date. I am immeasurably fond of it, and desire never to read another word of it again.

once, i belonged to you(and twice i was free) -- the rapunzel inspired dead-dove. in which galadriel is a princess locked in a tower, and halbrand is her jailor.

A Kingdom They Became -- what started as my own personal breakdown about my chronic pain became possibly the work I am proudest of to date. I am still overwhelmed by the response to this fic.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Eh. I certainly try to. However, my brain does a thing, you see, where 24 hours after I post something to ao3, the door is closed and my brain considers that fic officially DONE. After that point, responding to comments is a much steeper uphill battle. That being said- I do read and savor every single one of them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hands down, its It Will Come Back. I had *intended* to write a happy ending, but the closer I got to the end, the more I realized that a happy ending would not have been satisfying. I'm incredibly proud of the ending I wrote, but it definitely hits the angst pretty hard.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dangerous Creatures -- silly little aussie farm-life fluff. (But its haladriel, so Gal still kills something.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. I have- up to this point, anyway- been incredibly lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but what kind?? Still figuring that one out, so for now I'll say, "Whatever kind I can manage on any given day."

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't. I might in the future, but I do have a hard time taking crossovers seriously as a reader- I imagine that feeling would be far worse as a writer.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, thank god.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but maybe one day!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Cowritten- no. I am a beta on a fic (this is not a come-on* in any way shape or form by the lovely @ophidion) which is a process I've more than once compared to being a midwife helping someone bring new life into the world.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

All time fave seems like a great way to get me to change my mind tomorrow(no, I'm not commitment-phobic, you are!) so I'll just say I like pretty, bitey girls and bad men who want to change but don't know how. In any permutation.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Everything that is out there currently, I am confident I will finish. The things I've thus far kept to myself? Only time will tell.

16. What are your writing strengths?

This question feels like a personal attack. Yikes. I think- I hope- the way I write sweeps you up like a raging river, uses rhythm and verbiage to transport the reader entirely into a different world. I'm good at the mechanics behind making you *feel* something, of manipulating an emotion to transport you inside what a character is feeling.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Speed. They say you shouldn't care about your first draft, because you can always fix it later. Well, jokes on them, I NEVER fix it later, so I damn well better do a decent job on my first pass. This makes me slow, and makes the thesaurus app on my phone one of my top used.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do not do this, other than perhaps a words here or there(and that word is almost always going to be a pet name I make no apologies.) I think it has it's time and place, but it can also pull you out of the story entirely.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lost (Skate Lives, bby!) beginning wayyy back in the summer of 2005. I was 12, so I thank the gods every days that lost-forum is dead and I never cross posted to ffn. (I also wrote for twilight back in the day, but we don't talk about that.)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

The A Kingdom, An Empire, A Home series has, I think, my most beautiful writing to date, and despite being incredibly difficult to write(or perhaps because of it) it is also the most satisfying. It is a complex exploration of pain, redemption, and the complicated feelings towards parenthood. If I traveled back in time to just a year ago and showed past!cap that prose, I don't know that she would believe herself capable of it. Turns out she is wrong, and there is only better to come.

tagging: @alicuntismswrites, @lisenberry, @pursuitseternal, @hazelmaines, @mostlydriedmango, @maironite

(I do not know who has already done this, sorry!)

(Also, if you've tagged me in one of these games at any point in the last couple months and I've ignored: I'm sorry, don't hate me. My brain has been a mess, and these sometimes seem intensely overwhelming.)

[ladyhindsight]

I decided to speak separately on the matter of racism in TLH. I'll give my honest opinion that I'm sure many people disagree (I don't care)

I suppose it's easy to just try to paint CC as someone who hates people of color even though we do not have factual evidence of that. I don't see a white person obsessing over their white characters and their features as a personal offense to me, I see it as something an author should work on so it doesn't get so atrociously obvious in their writing. The writing is problematic? VERY, but I'm not so simplistic as to believe this must mean the author is an horrible person who believes white features are objectively superior. The more I research about CC, the more I have reasons to side-eye her author persona, but I refuse to make this personal anymore.

The matter of race regarding Alastair is something I have felt deeply hurt and argued passionately about in the past, but once I realized how unserious CC's writing is, it stopped hurting me on a personal level and I went through a time of deep frustration while I saw fully how the world of TSC was so unplanned since the start and doesn't try to have any coherence. It helps that I have reads books so much more racist than any of TSC could ever be, that affects my view of it all, of course.

Part of the unseriousness is how in love the writing is with the characters. It's not one character in love with another, it's like the whole book is in love with the main characters. I'm sure I've read you saying: this before, the author's fascination with her own characters make the writing absurdly biased.

That takes to the treatment of Alastair's character: he is one of the characters of color I have related the most ever, I truly love him as a character. But the story is so in love with the main white characters that it gets fucked up how it can't not be forgotten how Alastair has committed the biggest of sins known to man: raise his voice to hurt the golden protagonists James and Matthew, not because bullying is bad, but because James and Matthew are so much better than him regardless of what they do, and regardless of what Matthew does or says against him, so hurting them is very, very bad. Bad Alastair!

In Chain of Iron, James seems perfectly ready to move on and be friendly to Alastair, and that's written as in to show how of a benevolent gracious kind understanding forgiving humble person he is, specifically how much of a perfect husband he is to Cordelia, being polite to her brother, it's not about actually showing understanding to Alastair - Matthew doing the complete opposite of James is not shown as flawed either. They are just perfecly right in whatever they decide to do, James being the perfectest and Matthew being just a little silly angsty guy.

The flaw is more actually in the writing of the MAIN white characters, and that has been the case since ever. As if Jace was split in two different parts, James and Matthew, and TLH just goes from there.

I should note, CC already mentioned Cordelia being half-Persian in early 2014, which can still be said to be early on the planning of TLH, so I don't think it's fair or accurate at all if someone talks as if Cordelia and Alastair's ethnicity was changed "last minute," that's definitely not the case

- R

I’ll add your other message here too since a lot of the subject matter overlaps.

I've been reading your posts that I had missed and this one is a contenter for my favorite post of yours.

The description of physical traits done by CC is something I've been observing for a while and I did my own research through the books.

I have reasons to be fond of CJ - she was the one who made up Robert/Michael and I'm inclined to believe CC may not have thought of it/included it in the books if not for CJ, and I wouldn't have Robert as he is in The Evil We Love. What a terrifying idea (to me).

On the other hand.......... CJ went a long way on her skills of painting skin color. The only slack I could give is 1) years ago nobody in the fandom knew how to paint dark skin, and even when ChoG came out a couple of years ago several artists showed how much they still didn't know how to paint dark skin with their takes on Cordelia and Alastair. It was a disturbing time; 2) CC's descriptions sucked ass.

First on the case of the Wiki: it's not 100% reliable, as I particularly noticed with skin color descriptions. I was the one to add there that Alastair has brown skin, what was written before was straight up lying and it was hard to not wonder if it was in bad faith somehow.

On the Rosales. The wiki has Diego described as olive-skinned with the only source being LoS, but in LoS his skin is described as brown.

Their color in that previous CJ artwork, as you noticed, sucks. Brown skin seems to be used very loosely in these books, and CJ seems to have projected Latino/Mexican stereotypes in her coloring of the ~Hispanic~ characters in general, and that goes together with the books also implying that Latinos all have the same coloring.

I know Americans/gringos don't understand much about Latinos but if you're doing some form of creation/art like writing and drawing it's expected that you try to understand this kind of thing.

Several of popular TDA fanart portrays Cristina very light, and it's annoying that people don't bat an eye at it. Latinos can have any skin color, and artists seem to use that as if it means that any color can be used to draw any Latino character, ignoring how they are actually described and instead going for the idea of Latino they have in their heads as reference.

Rafe is one of the Malec children and his ethnicity is left very vague, he is only assumed to be a person of color because he is Argentinian, but Argentinians are among some of the whitest Latinos. (No offense meant to Argentinians of color or even Argentinians in general - other Latino countries are often very white, like Cuba, with the obvious famous case of Camilla Cabello, a white Cuban). Rafe still could be an Argentinian of color, of course, but, you get what I mean? The generalization is definitely there.

Jaime's skin color has been corrected in his new flower card. I'm not Mexican so I'll just refrain from commenting the tattoo.

About Cordelia, you noticed the problem too. It was more a matter of general fucked-updness, but it's more complicated than it seems.

The oldest mention of Cordelia being half-Persian that I could find is from March 2014 (x). The first description was from CC's twitter in September 2014 (x) which artists used for a good while to make her very light colored, since it says "light" brown skin, and it was eventually changed to brown, just lighter than Sona's, Ariadnes's and Magnus' browns according to the on page TLH descriptions. Magnus really got darker over the tears didn't he

I assume this was the case of CJ too. I would like to point that since Persians can be generally very light-skinned, nobody had to assume they were dark skinned. I remember even talking to a Persian reader that was surprised at Cordelia and Alastair being dark skinned, but that person seemed to actually believe that they should be light skinned Persians, and I don't have knowledge of colorism-related tensions in Iran to have a deep understanding of this reaction. I don't get behind colorism.

Anyway, but even then CJ didn't have a problem drawing Sona brown-skinned, so she shouldn't have a problem drawing Cordelia brown skinned too.

There is the misconception going on even implied in the wiki that Cordelia and Alastair weren't Persian in the previous flower cards, that those arts were drawn before they were made to be Persian, and like I explained this is just NOT TRUE. CC and CJ simply fucked it up.

Have you seem one of Magnus previous flower cards? This is atrocious. What I collected in the books was that Magnus was first described as brown skinned in Clockwork Angel, it's a mistake that it wasn't first in TMI but CA is still many books and years ago. After it CC stil reblogged art with white-skinned Magnus and the fandom sure still did draw a lot of light skinned Magnus.

The casting for the movie and TV show surely didn't help. I was ignorant about the issues of Southeast Asian representation and this video series was very useful for me to understand the problem.

All these issues within TSC have been a big topic for me over the years, so I can discuss it at lenght, but here I talked a lot already. Hope my information was useful.

You probably have seen it already, but readers asked a lot for corrected flower cards of Cordelia and Alastair, and it happened. (x)

Thanks for reading all of this :)

- R

Like with the previous discussions about Cordelia, race, and racism in Clare’s writing, I said that I don’t really believe there to be any conscious malicious intent behind any of it. My opinion still stands on the thoughtless writing and Clare being unable to consider the implications of her writing being the main underlying issue. Obviously there are as many outlooks and thoughts on this as there are readers, and it’s difficult to speak in generalizations because the response Clare receives has been from side to side, and her readership is not a monolith.

I’m sure Clare doesn’t think of herself in any bad way, but as it is with her overall writing, her biases do show. The narrative is untrustworthy and partial to certain aspects and characters, so I can’t say those problems aren’t there. There’s also the issue of Clare’s behavior outside her books and writing. I am not incredibly familiar with everything within the fandom and readership, but I see stuff every once in a while. Somewhere around Chain of Gold, I saw people raising the issue of Clare’s Pinterest use. Where Cordelia was concerned, Clare favored images (for likeness, I assume) with light skin and red hair, because red hair was the trait she prioritized in Cordelia’s appearance, not her ethnicity which, I’d say, bears more significance and importance all things considered.

As to the flower cards, when An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters & Denizens of Downworld was published in 2016, Cordelia’s card still featured her with white skin, though she and Alastair were told they were both half-Persian descent. Alastair did feature a bit darker skin tone though. Though it is notable that people of any descent vary in their looks, I think the problem was that Clare chose to include biracial characters of Middle Eastern descent and still chose Cordelia to be light-skinned, as if there wasn’t already so many white characters. I don’t know when the change did happen, but the flower cards did not reflect that Clare’s description of Cordelia in 2014: “She has light brown skin, dark red hair, and black eyes.”

It is questionable that only just a while ago in fall 2022 were the Cordelia and Alastair cards updated to be more appropriate to their looks. Also questionable that readers had to ask for them. Additionally questionable is that one twitter comment asking about Matthew and James because it seems like the purpose of updating Cordelia’s and Alastair’s cards went right over their heads. The information you provided was helpful, but also there still exists these inconsistencies that it’s incredibly hard to fault readers being upset with Clare and CJ. There’s been controversy around the official CJ art for a long time, I think (I suck at counting time), and it’s been really something. Aline, Jia, Magnus, for instance, were all drawn white for the longest time. There definitely has been issues with fan art overall as well for years, and not just exclusively in TSC fandom.

Magnus’ hands have been described as “white” two times, and both times (in City of Bones and City of Fallen Angels I think?) I was perplexed. Also shucks that the wiki wasn’t 100% accurate, because it was quicker to check it than go over everyone’s descriptions from the books. Also, now that you mentioned it, I did imagine Rafael with darker skin but because of the cover art for The Land I Lost, not that he was ever really described properly.

It’s good that you have personally been able to rise above the issue that it doesn’t hurt you anymore. The unplanned nature and the focus being somewhere else than authentic world-building goes for a long way in anything we discuss about TSC. There’s definitely stuff to be corrected in readers’ perception but at the same time, all the concern and hurt readers experience because of Clare’s thoughtlessness and bias are not negated by that (not that you implied it is, of course).  

[fairytales-and-folklore]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Hi Grey! Thank you so much for the ask! <3

Since I did huntlow last time, I'll choose five sterek fics this time:

My Friend Thinks You're Cute

And that's when Stiles sees him, standing in the middle of the crowd, swathed in a black leather jacket, eyes alight as he flashes Stiles the most dazzlingly perfect smile. Derek The Music Major. The guy Stiles has had a massive crush on ever since they shared a class together in Stiles's freshman year. The guy who went on to graduate later that spring and leave town to go on tour with his band. The guy who composed such beautiful music that it made Stiles fall even more stupidly in love with him when he happened upon one of his live performances on YouTube the following summer. The guy who wrote the lyrics to the song he's currently up on stage singing motherfucking karaoke to. Derek Hale, Beacon Hills sweetheart, local legend, and international rising star. Derek Hale, lead guitarist of The Alphas.

Invisible String

He tries to imagine Derek taking up knitting, and has to fight to suppress the fond little flutter that stirs inside his chest at the image of Derek with a half-finished scarf splayed across his lap, yarn wrapped around his stupidly big, strong hands as he works them in an intricate pattern, the two of them sitting side by side on the couch, watching movies and working on projects together; has to bite back a bout of giddy laughter at the idea of Derek talking shop about his favorite stitch patterns, wandering down craft store aisles with a mountain of brightly colored, kitten soft skeins clutched in his arms, arguing the merits of aluminum vs. bamboo, cotton vs. wool, with those big surly eyebrows of his, as Stiles strolls along beside him. It's so absurdly soft and domestic that Stiles can't contain the longing sigh that spills out of his mouth at the thought of it.

It's A Love Story, Baby, Just Say Yes

For a while, there's a whole lot of nothing, just the sound of water splashing against tile, the scent of Stiles's Old Spice body wash wafting in the summer air, and— Wait. Is that…is Stiles singing Taylor Swift? Derek tilts his head to the side, catching sight of what is unmistakably Stiles's silhouette framed in the open window, towel wrapped around his waist, using a hairbrush as a makeshift microphone and belting out what Derek is 99% sure is the song Love Story by Taylor Swift.

Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found

He means to send the photo to Scott. Really, he does. But it's barely 9AM and he hasn't had coffee yet so his brain isn't firing on all cylinders, single brain cell chanting an endless chorus of Derek Derek Derek. Which is how he ends up accidentally sending the photo he'd just taken to Derek instead, along with the lovely accompanying caption: seriously scotty, just look at him, I think I'm in love. By the time Stiles realizes his mistake, it's too late to hit cancel. He hears the telltale chime of a successfully sent text, the little grayed-out delivered notification staring back at him with a mocking checkmark. He glances up, watching in abject horror as Derek pulls out his phone. Clocks his exact time of death as the moment Derek's eyebrows arch high enough to meet his hairline.

Hearts Like Wildflowers

Derek's presence is a solid warmth at his side, appearing through a tangle of branches in a blur of black leather and frost-bitten blue. He's been doing that a lot lately — showing up seemingly at random wherever Stiles happens to be. Stiles assumes he'd taken it upon himself to ensure that the pack's ticking time bomb doesn't go rogue and let another ancient trickster demon use his body to hurt those closest to him. He'd complain about that, only he kind of likes knowing that Derek is always there, because maybe he's a little afraid of that happening too, and he's glad to know that Derek will do what needs to be done if things go south. Derek glances over at him, careful eyes watching him as he glares down at the nemeton with a kind of fierce determination, hands balled into fists, shaking in quiet rage, and asks, in a voice that's so soft he almost doesn't hear it— "Why did you come here?" Stiles turns to look at him, eyes filled with tears that don't spill over but instead find their way into his voice. "I just—" he falters, swallows against the sudden tightness in his throat. "I don't want to be afraid anymore. I'm tired of this thing having some kind of sick power over me."

[gamma-gal-24]

Yo first off, all of your F/O’s are SOOO valid you have such good taste. Johnny Bravo is extremely good and I’m glad he’s getting some appreciation because he was one of my favorite shows to stay up absurdly late at night to watch along with Dexters Lab.

I also love Gaston as well and it’s so good to see that I’m not alone bc so many people dunk on him (rightly so but still). His song is done SO WELL in all versions imo like Disney literally never misses with him. Although classic is always best I admit I did enjoy the Live Action version too.

Also funny story related to Gaston, I remember being compared to Belle a lot (primarily because of my appearance and personality) and having a distinct dislike for that bc I secretly didn’t like that Belle went for Beast instead of Gaston but I could never say it vocally because I knew the look I’d get.

IFBSKSBSKSH sorry for this little gush-tangent your F/O’s are super valid and they all love you so much. I love seeing Disney/cartoon Self-shippers because yall love SO SHAMELESSLY and it’s lowkey invigorating!!! Hope ur having a good day and are happy/healthy :)

NONONO PLEASE DON'T APOLOGISE I LOVED TO HEAR IT!💞😭😭💞💞

I wasn't allowed to watch very much Cartoon Network as a child, apart from like- Scooby doo, and so I'm only getting into shows like Jonny Bravo now! And to me, Jonny and Gaston are very much cut out of similar fabrics and I just love them both to bits.☺💞

And while I'm sure whoever comlared you to Belle had no ill intentions, I TOTALLY get not being super fond of it. I would honestly be kinda miffed for the exact same reason you were.😂 I don't wanna be associated with women of bad taste.(totally joking but in Belle's case only slightly😌)

Either way, it was lovely to hear from you and I am SO GLAD you approve of my taste in himbos. And please, feel free to rant or gush whenever you want! I am here for it!

[necrosin]

with yuki so preoccupied on the sheets of paper, it made it so much easier to sneak up and hit him with a kiss! a quick little thing, encouragement for working so hard! ❛ so handsome, so talented! ❜ / for yuki from momo <3

oh, dear. he's done it again.

overwrought and under stimulated / no —— no that isn't quite right, his mind echoes with a shapeless form that demands to be heard and yet, when he sets it to paper : the beat is off, the harmony too discordant, the lyrics taking shape in his mind detest the shape which this melody demands to take —— but perhaps these lyrics aren't meant for this song / this song isn't meant for these lyrics / or maybe it was simply ( yet another ) a case of : yuki was being entirely too fussy.

for the millionth time.

never quite satisfied, are you? never quite settled, always with music thrumming beneath his skin with nowhere to go but outwards, but what if it didn't land quite right? what if there was nowhere for this music to go? what if —— what if ——

( a rueful, half—mirthful thought : you just can never let go, can you? you're going to kill yourself chasing the world like an especially stupid ouroboros, aren't you? )

WHAT IF —— what if on the cusp of a perilous storm : the SUN rose, inexorably and eternally, demanding to cast its warm rays on the shadowed corners of his soul?

the sun is a star / is a gallant boy / is a man so overflowing with love that it's wondrous and beautiful and terrifying. the light / he chooses to, deigns to, pour into this vessel, of all things, that threatens to ( it's not even a threat, is it? you very well just might, you know this well. ) perish away without LOVE OF / FOR SOMETHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, THE SORT OF LOVE THAT MUST BE ALL CONSUMING.

how dramatic.

what are dark halls in the face of pure light? —— still so dramatic, goodness !!

how about this, then : by sheer chance alone, by the nature of his very existence, by the circumstances which tied them together so thoroughly, momo drives away nearly all shadows in yuki's soul, surrounding him in light, holding him in his arms. it would be shocking, to be pulled so abruptly from the winding, repeating halls of his mind coiling itself tighter and tighter and tighter around a mere melody by something so simple yet so profound as warmth and affection and love —— would be.

but ( ... ) when hasn't he turned towards love like a plant kept in the darkness for too long? like a child with a heart made of glass? ( you just can never let go, can you? )

gloominess can't dare to exist for long beneath such nurturing ( never mind that isn't WHOLLY TRUE, a fact that he was well aware of, but he can be absurdly sentimental whenever he wishes to be ) and yuki is laughing softly before he fully realizes it, warmth flooding through his body and washing away annoyance. a smile pulls at his mouth where mere moments before it had been pinched in frustrated concentration as he found himself, once more, wholly incapable of letting go.

❝ —— momo, ❞ unrestrained fondness sweetens his tone to a sickly saccharine extent, but he can't help that he adores momo so much, can he? momo, who spoils him far too much —— not that yuki would ever dream of complaining of as much ( he knew that ban rolled his eyes at times, meaning every time, when he would catch momo at it, but oh well! ) because he, always and always and always, did love being spoiled. the remnants of the famished demands of a child with no affection, perhaps?( too much psychoanalysis, not enough momo. ) yuki knew himself well enough that no matter how much he's grown as a person, he couldn't help but crave it. you could argue it was a character flaw / and perhaps it was / yuki simply knew that he craved love monstrously.

he drops the pencil he had been using to scribble ceaselessly on the sheet music that was threatening to mock him in favor of turning to the sun. a plant, et cetera. ❝ distracting me while i'm working so hard? ❞ he twists in his arms to drape his own over momo's shoulders, always wanting to keep him close and closer and closer —— so close that their souls would merge into one, right?

if only.

their noses bump together as he tilts his head, lashes lowering just so, the way he knows always catches momo's attention without fail, wanting to demand a kiss, his smile threatening to slant into an outright smirk. ❝ hmm, i may have to demand compensation for my time.❞ he can't quite resist taking momo's chin in hand teasingly, tilting his head up properly —— as if, whenever momo gives him a centimeter yuki has to take it a kilometer: further and further. ❝ i accept payment in more attention. ❞

and, really, it's only natural to give into this endless refrain, and yuki has always been helpless in the face of the light of his life / when overwhelmed by the cadence of a song. so he kisses momo ; again and again and again, ad finitum, overflowing with his love and intent to devour it like a ravenous beast, only to return it wholeheartedly and wantingly, a song without end, an unrelenting echo.

( something shifts in his mind, the melody shudders and then settles and lyrics threaten to take form / and hadn't momo always been his muse? i practically wrote that song for you. all of my songs are practically for you. )

@ruinedheart !!