#because i wear it literally everyday
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can't draw right now (desk is a mess) so take this pic i took of my amulet.
#it's a bit scratched up#because i wear it literally everyday#and the chain is broken#but it's still perfect#definitely isn't a comfort object wym? /j#fictionkin#scp#dr bright#i do not support Admin Bright
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POV you’re in a horror film
(Outfit/Role) Not tagged by anyone, but I saw @alistairs's on my dash and wanted to do it too.
Tagging: @an-unseemly-gentleman, @papabirdurskeks, @howl-of-shabriri, @vodenanimfa, @bugbreach
#.txt#aka literally just how I look (more precisely once I cut my hair again next week)#I love love love the clothes in this meiker (I assume these are all taken from the old/classic horror movies)#When I made that post about how I wish I could easily find 70s - 90s clothes but not the funky colourful disco night kind#but the ones people would just wear in their everyday lives#this specifically is what I meant#And aside from that I love love love ummmandy's dress up games.#Their most recent one features a plus size doll which I honestly haven't seen yet in a dress up game except maybe. once (1).#I'm not plus size so I never minded dolls being thin but I'm still mentioning this because I think it's nice.
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the symbolism of giving characters glasses or shades or visors to show that they’re metaphorically Blind To Something either because of anger or grief or naïveté etc etc things of such nature
#then there’s the symbolism of giving them such accessories as a way to close off themselves and hide a part of themselves#that’s for a different post THIS post was brought to u by godot. because i think about him everyday#Yea he literally neees the visor to see but have you considered he’s so consumed by anger and grief and pain that he#Literally Sees Red like he LITERALLY SEES RED . he literally sees red. ? Do you understand#this post was also brought to you by my beautiful daughter no way back who Doesn’t have a visor. but it does look like one#so it kind of counts. and also by my beautiful son rikki who literally has rose tinted glasses#she just doesnt wear them all the time but maybe i should do more stuff with that tbh ?!?!??#crammerposting
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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Are you sure you haven't contracted sepsis dude?? Your posts really sound like it's worth getting checked out /gen
im gonna give it a couple days & see,,, going to the doctor has to be my absolute last choice o(-< i have no way of getting there except through my mom and she isnt aware of my sh and it. wouldnt go well if she were
#ive been monitoring it closely for other symptoms n so far im ok do not fret o7#but#shes gotten very mad at me before just asking if i did because i always wear long sleeves (which is just because im ugly i never had then)#on my arms anyway#shes not the type of person who accepts that kinda stuff w . any kind of caring and i am Afraid. i am so very afraid#im completely isolated here i have to keep the relationship as calm as i can#shes my only source of anything i could lose everything#and her relationship w my sister has only gotten worse since she started being open w her mental struggles they fight verbally & physically#literally everyday#she shit talks her constantly#n belittles her 2 the point of breakdowns#literally only because of it#it just. would not be good#i have to try everything else first#asks
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As much as I love Wu's sad uncle look in Dominion.
I cannot deny that his turtleneck was like peak. I don't care look at him! He pulls it off so well!
His turtleneck look is so gender to me.
#i'm just rambling#jurassic world#I think people forget he was wearing like the tightest turtleneck possible like#I know you're in a lab the majority of the time BUT HOW ARE YOU NOT BURNING UP#*Me staring at Wu's scenes in JW* God I wish that were me.#dr. henry wu#I forget who. It was probably st4rmii lol that drew Ben in a black turtleneck and my only thought was just#“This is literally just Wu's everyday work look.”#They refused to animate him without his coat and only mentioned the turtleneck once in jwcc#Because they knew he was the only one in the show that had any style and deemed it too powerful /j
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#personal#bless my supervisor really#after lunch i'm half dead bored as shit trying not to fall asleep in my desk and she's like hey you and White Guy™ should work on this thing#i am soooo bad at playing it cool truly. the rumors are true i stopped aging after 19#but hey we spent 30 minutes at my desk and i did all my daily quota of looking#god. he's just. i just love hearing him talk. id rank his voice in the top ten things about him#i was just SPOILED today#he gets there early everyday so wheneve i come in he's preparing his breakfast in the kitchen. singing to himself and stuff#he literally had me sighing out loud as i walked to my bus stop#this is sabotage really because ive been on the cute girl grind as of late#last friday she was wearing this shirt with holes in the shoulders and the amount of skin i could see.....#i understand how the victorians felt basically#she's such a girlfailure...... and god she's so pretty#couldn't stop staring at the shape of her waist in the dress she wore today#she's so easy to talk to too. and perceptive and very thoughtful#okay i think that's enough#i hope you guys know that i'm holding myself back from rambling about every daily thing like this is middle school#i got it real bad#if you are on my mind all night and day blame it on mu youth..........
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got made fun of for my outfit by basic white boys at the mall. i consider this a win. certified banger outfit will wear again.
#crep lore#i literally just styled my nso cosplay outfit to suit my everyday needs#because i love her clothes so why not just wear them casually#like who’s gonna stop me#nobody recognized it but i did get a lot of genuine compliments which felt nice :3#tons of cool dressed people liking my outfit makes up for the two guys with their bowlcuts insulting it
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bro shout out to ME. i was at lunch, my halfway friend got in line and i hate being alone in the cafeteria so i was with him. and he wasnt saying anything and i asked how his day was and he shrugged. and then i caught sight of the fire alarm behind him and decided to tell him “i wonder what it would be like to actually pull the fire alarm” and he looked at me like i was fucking crazy. took everything in me not to shove him.
#''you always say the most random shit'' yes. because you are not talking. i literally have to carry because you are so boring#bitch wears grey tracksuits and crocs everyday and thinks its a fit like tf#fuck highschool man. like he looked at me like i grew a fucking arm#this is normal casual conversation i thought#''well you're not talking''#'well i dont want to talk'' OK? just say that instead of telling me im fucking weird#anyway#i did not have a good 30 mibutes of lunch i sat in the cafeteria and read alone with burning anxiety#quite literallytold me i was fucking weird btw#like ok#what do i even want friends at school for im misunderstood#🙄
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20+ years and the same limp wrist.
#my coworker/friend was playing drums in a group that was performing at a benefit concert and the theme was 90s music#so i was like ‘yeah i’m getting a full windbreaker outfit for this.’#the pants are going to enter my everyday wear collection#the fact that jenn and i were old enough to be the parents of most of the kids performing…..#the way my back started hurting not even three bands in………#jenn had to tap out about five songs before the end to go sit in the car because her back was killing her#one band played tubthumpin and a girl in front of us was jumping and i was like ‘man i wish i could still do that’#it’s me#(literally)
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Another thing that’s happening is my ankle decided to grow a bone spur. So that’s fun
#i imagine this has been in the process for quite a while but i only noticed it wednesday night when i was sat in my pants waiting for benji#to finish doing his business so we could go back inside#i’ve been having pains in both of my ankles especially when i run basically. which.. i started running in december#so i imagine this has been in the works for that long#i think it’s only come up on my left ankle thus far because i have arthritis in my right knee so i overcompensate for it using my left leg#i was reading through the ways to prevent this from getting worse and it’s all so undescriptive i have to cry#they’re like ‘get shoe insoles’ BUT WHAT KIIIIND#do i get heel cups? orthotics? arch support? like what’s the vibe here#they also said to stop running on hard surfaces and i was like 😭#i run on pavements exclusively because the only large grassy area near me is a sports field and it’s pretty much full of football boys#most of the time. also it’s REALLY uneven. the last time i tried running there i nearly twisted my ankle#i mean you will literally step in an entire hole without expecting it. and that makes my form way worse i feel like#the other option is i literally take a bus to the next town over to run at one of the parks or the beach but that’s.. that’s such a process#i’m trying to work out if a treadmill would be considered a hard surface#i feel like honestly a better pair of running trainers are probably the answer. i could wear my current trainers as an everyday shoe#since i don’t consider them to be like.. bad or anything. they’re sketcher’s arch fit so they do have Some arch support#i feel like honestly taking my slip-ons out of rotation for anything longer than a 5 min walk could help me out#since i genuinely spend WAY too much of my life wearing this 2 year old pair of canvas slip-ons from target that have zero support#of any kind. don’t they call heel spur a ‘pump bump’? well i found the pumps in question#personal
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So the toguro vs yusuke final fight and all that entails, like it left me feeling some sort of way when I watched it yesterday. I couldn't really put it into words till now, but I think it was because of yusuke's inner struggle with himself and his emotions that got me. It's kinda relatable in a way. It presents differently for him as it does to me, but ive come to realize i DO kinda have some pretty high walls up. I'm only ever fully honest and open about how I feel when I'm online. Very rarely do I express myself in a meaningful or constructive way irl, and it's preventing me from living the way I want to. I realized this after my dad said to me today that I feel very distant all the time. Not sure exactly what to do with these realizations, but ah well. I'll figure it out.
#just as an example yall see me on here everyday posting fandom shit and art#how much does my family see or hear about of my interests and ongoing projects? maybe 2% of what you guys get in total#gunpla excluded as i do often post those on facebook but thats easy and doesnt make me nervous as its model kits and they are cool as fuck#but even with friends irl i just... i dont open up that much. ill sit there and not talk much at all for a good deal of the time#and that goes for a lot of subjects and aspects of things that i think about regularly not just fandom stuff ofc#thats just a big one for me because when im alone it is literally a constant in all aspects of my life#its like i feel compelled to put a mask up. i dont think that its a healthy thing though and id like to not have to wear it so often
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HEAVY METAL LOVER!
pair: logan howlett x bartender!reader wc: 4.2k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, drinking, swearing, motorcycle rides, p in v, unprotected sex, rough sex, fingering (fem!receiving), creampie, wolverine's hairy tits, the claws show up ofc, porn with plot, no use of y/n. author’s note: watched deadpool & wolverine twice in theaters, started rewatching the x-men movies, pondered many different thoughts, sat down and wrote this. i need him to breed me. title from lady gaga's 'heavy metal lover' cause it's literally his song.
the wolverine is a regular at your bar…
You're shining glasses behind the bar when you hear it, the gruff sound of Logan’s voice turning away yet another girl that worked up the courage to come up to him. It’s his third rejection of the night, not that you were counting.
You were, you always do. You pay more attention to that side of the bar than you normally would when he’s here, which is nearly everyday for the past three weeks. He's not like any of your other regulars. He's almost always alone, and he never talks to you except when he calls for another drink.
The only reason you even know his real name at all is because Wade told you one of the nights he tagged along, leaning his elbows on the bar to whisper over the sugared rim of his "Piña Colada. Extra creamy please, you know how I like it..." like he was telling you a secret.
"Don't let him hurt your feels honey bunch. That's just classic Logan for you, a man of few words. Huge case of blue balls by the way."
You remember the way he let the obvious innuendo hang in the air, the knowing look he gave you as he spun the little paper umbrella floating in his drink. You didn’t think you were being that obvious, that someone as socially inept as Wade was able to pick up on the way your eyes would linger a little too long on the broad width of Logan’s shoulders, on the way his arms would strain against the fabric of his flannels.
You’d seen him on the news, thick corded muscles all wrapped in blue and yellow leather. It haunted you for days, playing in your mind on a constant loop of sweaty biceps until you finally gave in and pulled out your favorite vibrator.
Even with that, there’s just something about the jeans and flannels he wears outside of the suit that make you want to jump over the bar and drop down to your knees right in front of him. Your mouth open wide and waiting.
The dull ‘thunk’ of Logan placing his empty glass on the bartop grabs your attention, two quick raps of his knuckles against the wood ripping you from your thoughts. “Another,” he says briskly, not looking away from the peeling backsplash on the wall behind you.
You usually snapped at men who’d bark orders at you, but The Wolverine isn’t just any man. He's certainly the only man you'd ever take orders from willingly, happily.
You grin, tossing your towel over your shoulder as you grab the whiskey bottle off the shelf and slide over to him, tipping the amber colored bottle over to start refilling his glass. “That’s the third one tonight,” you say casually, casting your eyes over his shoulder to the girl from before retreating back to her friends. “I take it you don’t come here looking for company?”
Logan’s eyes flick to yours, it’s the first time he’s looked at you all night. You look back, lips pulled into a small smile as more whiskey than you’d usually pour splashes against the sides of his glass. The music playing from the speakers fades into a dull hum around you.
He holds your gaze for a second longer, a flash of something you can't quite read passing through his eyes before he’s looking away again. “Not the kind you’re thinking of,” he replies, his voice a low rumble that has something warm zinging up your spine.
You set the bottle down next to him, brow piqued in curiosity. “And what kind is that?”
He doesn't respond right away, just raises the now full glass to his lips to take a slow sip. You almost think he’s going to ignore you again, but then he speaks, “You ask everyone that comes in here personal questions, bub?”
There’s the barest hint of amusement lacing his words that has you biting your bottom lip to try and contain the absolute giddiness blooming in your chest. It’s not much, but it’s more than he’s ever given you before. Encouraged, you step in a little closer, hoping to draw him out further.
“Only the ones with their asses practically fused to my stools,” you shrug, a playful glint sparkling in your eyes. “So what is it, you got some poor wife you leave at home every time you come here? Because the ‘tall, dark, and kind of morally ambiguous’ thing is obviously working for you.”
Logan turns his eyes to you again, his brow raised in amusement. You’re close enough that you can see the way his lips turn up at the corners. He seems to consider your question, gaze slowly trailing along your face before flicking back to your eyes. "No wife," he replies, the words slow and deliberate. "No home to leave her at either.”
His response hangs in the air between you, heavier than you anticipated. You let out a soft breath, lips parting ever so slightly. You can practically feel the weight of his gaze settling over you, leaving your whole body warm and tingly. The heat swirling deep in your gut slipping down to pool wet and sticky in your panties. Logan’s eyes blink shut for just a second, the bridge of his nose twitching lightly.
You almost can’t believe this is really happening, that the angry guy at the end of your bar you’ve seen turn away pretty girl after pretty girl is flirting with you. It makes you feel dizzy with power, like you could do anything, but it’s also one of the most intimidating things you’ve ever experienced. You didn’t realize what it meant to be the center of Logan’s attention until now, but you refuse to back down.
He gives an inch, so you take a mile.
Your grin widens as you lean your elbows on the bar, resting your chin on the heels of your hands. Logan doesn’t react to you invading his space, just keeps his eyes on you with a passive look on his face, but you don’t miss the way his gaze darts down to the low cut of your top.
“So…” you say slowly, voice dipping into a softer more intimate tone, “that means you’re free later tonight?” You tilt your head to the side coyly, allowing your hair to cascade over your shoulder, the movement drawing his gaze.
Logan’s eyes widen the tiniest bit, a surprised huff leaving his lips. He raises his glass, taking another long drink. Your eyes trace the sharp line of his jaw to where his adam’s apple bobs enticingly as he swallows. Your lips tingle with the need to mark up the tan column of his throat, to sink your teeth in the skin there, to taste.
The neckline of his undershirt dips low enough that you can see the dark hair scattered across his chest, dog tags dangling from a chain around his neck to sit in the center.
You drag your eyes back up to his face, flushing when you see that he's already looking at you over the rim of his drink. He sets his half drained glass down, a skeptical look on his face. “How old are you, kid?”
You shake your head with a soft laugh, dropping your palms to lay flat on the bartop. If that makes your top dip a little lower to flash more of your cleavage in Logan’s eyeline, then that’s just a bonus. “Old enough to be here,” you reply after a short pause, gazing up at him from under your lashes, “Old enough to know what I want.”
Logan’s eyes darken, the warm brown of them seeming deeper and even more intense than before. The dim overhead lights cast shadows across his rugged features, highlighting the scruff on his jaw. You can’t help but imagine the rough scratch of it brushing up against your inner thighs.
Logan pushes his glass away, leaning in with a soft grunt, his eyes drop to your lips. You suck in a shocked breath, your whole body lighting up at being so close to him. Your heart is racing in your chest, a quick ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum that echoes in your ears.
His lips turn up in a sly grin, the sharp canines of his teeth on display. “Is that so?” He asks, voice going all husky like gravel and honey. He meets your eyes and you swear you can see the sparks going off in the air between you, everything else in the bar completely fizzling out as his breath mingles with yours. “Careful what you wish for,” he says, his voice a low rumble that makes your knees weak. “You might just get it.”
Your lips curve into a mischievous smile, the heat between you palpable. “I’m counting on it,” you reply, your voice dripping with promise. It takes everything in you to straighten up and pull away from Logan, stepping back with the forgotten bottle in your hand. “My shift ends at eleven,” you say with a small shrug, jerking your head to a door across the room, “staff leaves through the alley door.”
It’s a clear invitation, one that Logan easily picks up on. His hungry gaze follows every move you make as you shelf the whiskey.
Before he can say anything, someone calls you from across the bar, shaking their empty glass impatiently. You throw him one last smile over your shoulder, mouthing ‘eleven‘ again with a quick nod of your head. You aren’t sure if it’s supposed to reassure you or him.
Logan smirks nonetheless, standing from the bar before draining the rest of his drink and throwing a few bills down. The air crackles as you watch him make his way towards the exit, eyes lingering on the way his jeans hug the thick muscles of his legs before someone is snapping their fingers at you to serve them.
The rest of your shift drags by, but the excitement and hope swirling in your stomach doesn’t fade. You’re practically thrumming with excitement by the time eleven rolls around, anticipation coursing through your veins as you clock out and grab your bag from your locker.
You pull the door to the alley open, the heavy metal creaking with the swing. The gravel crunches under your shoes as you step outside, eyes eagerly searching the space in search of Logan. The light mounted above the door shines around you, but you don’t see him anywhere.
Just as disappointment starts to settle in your chest, you hear a loud rumble coming from the down the street. A bright light shines across the road as it gets closer and closer until there’s a motorcycle pulled up against the alley’s opening.
Logan kicks the bike’s stand down, leaning over to hold out a helmet in offering. “You coming or not?” he calls out, voice deep and teasing, “I’m not known for my patience.”
You can’t help but laugh, a mix of exhilaration and nervousness bubbling up inside you. With a confident stride, you walk toward him, the loud growl of the bike reverberates through your body like thunder with every step. “You’re just full of surprises tonight, aren’t you?”
You take the helmet from his hand, but he doesn't let go right away, making your fingers brush against his in a way that sends a shiver up your arm. You meet his gaze, the smirk on his lips matching the dangerous glint in his eyes.
He drops his hand down to the bike’s handle, jerking his head back to the empty space behind him. “Hop on.”
You straddle the bike, the leather seat warm from the rumbling engine beneath you. You give Logan your address as you slip the helmet on. His body is warm and solid against your front, you can’t help but press a little closer, your hands falling to rest on his waist. The leather of his jacket is smooth under your fingertips.
Logan turns his head to the side, the street lights shine along the side of his face in a warm yellow glow. “Hang on,” he says, voice barely audible over the roar of the bike’s engine starting up.
The sudden rush of wind as he pulls off paired with the thrillingly intense vibration of the engine revving under you is exhilarating. You wrap your arms tight around his waist, fingers digging in slightly as you lean into the curve of his body.
The city blurs into a whirlwind of colorful lights as Logan navigates the streets with a confident ease. The cool night air whips past you, every turn and acceleration pumping more adrenaline through your veins. You cling to Logan’s waist like it’s a lifeline– there’s a sense of freedom and excitement that comes with being on the bike, but you think the real thrill is being pressed against him like this, feeling the power of his strength under you.
The ride seems like it takes both hours and seconds all at once when Logan pulls up to your house's gate. He kills the engine, the sudden silence a stark contrast from the roaring bike. Your heart pounds in your chest, pulse thumping as you slide the helmet off.
Logan takes it from your hands, eyes scanning over your house. “Nice place,” he comments casually, swinging his leg over the bike to stand next to you.
"Thanks," you say, your voice a tad breathless. You can’t help but feel a little self-conscious as you dig for your keys in your bag, nerves finally starting to set in. The air is cold against your flushed skin, and you’re hyper aware of Logan’s presence behind you as you unlock the gate and push it open.
He doesn’t touch you as the two of you walk up the steps to your house, infuriatingly keeping his distance with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans.
Your legs shake with every step, you can’t tell if it’s left over adrenaline from the ride or the building anticipation for the ride you know is waiting for you beyond your front door. Your hands tremble as you fumble with the lock, opening the door and stepping into the darkness of your living room.
You’re barely a foot inside before a pair of strong hands pull you backwards, getting whirled around by your waist until your back hits your closed front door mute thud. You don’t have any time to react before Logan’s crowding up against you, his body a solid wall of muscle pressing you hard against the door. His lips crash into yours in a hungry kiss, you can taste the whiskey from earlier sharp and smoky on his tongue.
You respond eagerly, leaning up to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down even closer. Logan’s hands roam over your body rough and possessive, one sliding up to cup the back of your neck while the other grips your waist, pulling you even closer. His hands leave a trail of fire in their wake, your skin tingling with every brush of his fingers. You can feel the raw power in his touch, a barely there restrained strength that has your heart racing even faster.
“I could fucking smell you,” he growls agasint your neck, digging his sharp teeth into your collarbone meanly. You can't help but let out a soft moan, your head falling back against the door to give him better access. The rough stubble on his jaw scrapes deliciously against your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Could smell how goddamn wet you got, back at the bar.”
His hand slips under the waistband of your jeans, sliding down the front of your panties to brush against your clit. Your mouth drops open with a soft moan, your slick lips still tingling. “Do you have any fuckin’ idea how hard it was not to bend you over, to not rip these things off and fuck you over the bar?” he asks roughly, lips brushing against your skin with every word. “Wanted to take you right, make everyone watch while I made you scream.”
Your breath hitches at his words, a wave of pleasure crashing through you. The rough skin of his fingertips press more firmly against your clit, drawing a broken moan from your lips. “Logan,” you gasp, your hips bucking involuntarily against his hand.Your hands claw at his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt as you try to ground yourself.
His lips capture yours again in a bruising kiss, sliding two thick fingers into you with a rough thrust. “Atta girl,” he murmurs against your mouth, dragging his tongue across your bottom slip. “That’s it, say my name,” he growls, swallowing your moans as his fingers pump into you with an unrelenting pace. Your walls clench around him, a needy whine escaping your throat as he begins to fuck his fingers in and out of your wet cunt.
The coil of pleasure deep in your stomach tightens with every thrust of his fingers, your body trembling with the intensity of it all. You can feel the pressure start to build, like a dam threatening to burst, but this isn’t how you want to come. You break the kiss, a thin thread of saliva connecting your lips before it thins and breaks. “Wait,” you say breathlessly, hand slipping down to grip his forearm tightly, “I want to come with you inside me.”
Logan growls, a deep, primal sound that you can feel rumble deep in his chest where it’s pressed against yours. “Bedroom,” he demands, hands dropping to the back of your thighs and lifting.
You wrap your legs around his waist with a quiet squeal, attacking the skin of his neck with your teeth as he walks the two of you down the dark hallway. “First door on the right,” you whisper, dragging your tongue along the column of his throat. You can feel the thick length of his cock straining against his jeans press into your hip. He sucks in a sharp breath as you roll your hips down, sliding the damp fabric of your clothed cunt over him.
Logan kicks the door open with a force that has it slamming against the wall, the sound barely registering in your lust-addled brain. Logan dumps you on the bed, the force of it bouncing you on the mattress. He rips his white undershirt over his head and drops to his knees in front of you, big hands coming up to grip the waistband of your jeans.
The muscles in his arms don’t even flex as he rips your shorts down the middle, denim and along with lace panties tearing like tissue paper in his hands and falling to the floor in tattered pieces. You gasp at the cold air hitting your hot, aching cunt.
Logan’s hands run up and down the bare skin of your calves, eyes glued to the soaked skin of your inner thighs. Your thighs start to tremble under his gaze, your patience starting to wear thin. Logan drags his eyes back to you, taking in the pleading look on your face. He smirks, wordlessly rising to his feet to pop open the button of his jeans.
You watch with bated breath as he unzips his fly, eyes glued to the way he starts to push them down his legs just enough that they fall to pool around his ankles. Your mouth drops open, eyes going wide at the sight of him.
He’s so big, so thick and heavy that his cock hangs hard between his hairy thighs instead of slapping up against his stomach. There’s a thick drop of pre-cum leaking from the tip, dripping down a thick vein running along the side.
Your mouth waters with want, the want to bury your nose in the dark thatch of hair surrounding the base, the want to have him fuck your throat raw and red. You can almost feel the ache in your jaw.
As much as you want to get him in your mouth, you want him inside you even more.
“Get your ass over here,” you demand breathlessly, tearing your shirt off your head in one swift motion. Logan smirks, stepping out of his jeans and making his way across the room. His dog tags jingle with every step, your cunt clenches weakly.
He stalks up the mattress like a predator, eyes ablaze as a cocky smirk plays on his lips. Your legs fall open unconsciously, thighs spreading wide to make enough room for his hips to slot against yours.
You gasp at the thick head of his cock sliding through your wet folds, your body arching off the bed. The sensation is electric, shooting through you like a live wire. "Logan," you breathe, your voice barely more than a whimper. "Please..."
"Please what?" he asks, his lips curving into a smirk against your skin. "You gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart."
Your cheeks flush hot, but the need burning inside you is stronger than any embarrassment. "I want you," you admit, your voice trembling with desire. "I want you to fuck me, Logan."
His growl is low and feral, his fingers teasing you relentlessly as he presses his forehead to yours. "That's a good girl," he rumbles, his breath hot against your lips as he sinks into the tight heat of your cunt in a single thrust.
The pace he sets is unrelenting, one hand braced on the pillow next to your head while the other grips your bed’s frame for better leverage to fuck down into you. The sting of his cock splitting your cunt open has your nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. His dog tags hang from his neck, swinging like a pendulum as he starts to thrust.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grates out, brows furrowed in pleasure. His hips speed up, barely pulling out halfway before he plunges back into you. The bed squeaks under you, slamming up against the wall as Logan fucks you.
It’s like Logan surrounds every inch of you, strong arms caged around your head while his body covers yours, metal bonded bones pressing you down into the mattress so there’s nothing you can do but take it. You know that he’s ruined every other man in the world for you as the heavy snap of his hips pounds against the skin of your ass hard enough to bruise. The thick muscles of chest bounces as he moves, the coarse hair scraping against your sensitive nipples.
The head of his cock pounds the soft spot inside of you that has your eyes fluttering closed, mind going hazy as heat starts to pool at the base of your spine.
“Don’t fucking stop,” you beg brokenly, tears sting the corners of your eyes. “God! I’m gonna come, you’re gonna make me come–”
“Come on baby,” Logan goads, dropping down to his fore arm so he can bury his face in the crook of your neck, “Give it to me, come on this cock, show me how much you fucking love it,”
The stinging bite of his sharp canines scraping the fluttering pulse of your neck makes you wail, nails raking down his back hard enough to leave long red welts that heal as you go. Your cunt clenches around the pulsing length of his cock, greedily milking him as you come in a rush of wetness around his cock.
“Fuck,” Logan grits out, his hips faltering. It’s not by much, but just enough for you to notice. The rhythmic smack smack smack of skin stuttering as his breath comes out in fast pants against the sweaty skin of your neck. His cock jerks inside you fiercely, his heavy balls tightening as he gets closer to the edge. You can hear the metal frame of your bed creaking warningly under his grip.
“Come in me,” you beg breathlessly, tightening your ankles around his waist. “Please, Logan I need it–”
Logan lets out a feral growl as his hand drops from your headboard, the sharp metallic sound of his claws unsheathing rings out above you before he slams his fist into the mattress next to your head. He floods your insides, pumping you full of his come as he grunts like a beast on top of you. He gives a few more weak thrusts of his hips, letting the two of you ride out your highs before he finally stills.
You hear the quiet snikt of his claws retracting from your mattress and back into between his knuckles before Logan collapses on top of you, arms braced on either side of your head to take most of his weight. His breath puffs raggedly over the skin of your shoulder, his spent cock still snug in your sore cunt.
“You owe me a new mattress,” you say breathlessly, digging the heels of your feet into his lower back sharply.
Logan chuckles into your neck, tipping his head up to look at you with dark eyes. His lips curl into a smirk as he rolls his hips, his still hard cock dragging along the sensitive walls of your cunt makes you gasp. “Yeah?” he asks, low and velvety. His eyes flick to the three holes punched through your sheets.
“You can add it to my tab,” he says with another stronger roll of his hips, “We’re not done here.”
tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
a/n! the actual biggest shout out to @ebodebo for beta reading and listening to my non-stop rambling and horny thoughts about this man. she's a true solider because i have been so annoying about this. mwah mwah mwah.
#— 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 ♡#ᯓ★ 𝐧𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐨��𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭!#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#i needed to write this#it was literally plaguing my mind#taking over my every thought#i couldn't just ignore it#hope you like it#PLEASE do not roast me if he doesn't seem accurate#i'm just a girl#okay#bye!#love you!#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine smut#wolverine fic#wolverine imagine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett smut#logan howlett imagine#x men smut#x men x reader#x men x you#wolverine
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In contrast with professional drag queens, who were only playing at being women onstage, [Esther] Newton learned that the very bottom of the gay social hierarchy was the province of street queens. In almost total contrast to professional queens, street queens were "the underclass of the gay world." Although they embraced effeminacy, too, they did so in the wrong place and for the wrong reason: in public and outside of professional work. As a result, Newton explained, the street queens "are never off stage. Their way of life is collective, illegal, and immediate." Because they didn't get paid to be feminine and were locked out of even the most menial of nightlife jobs, Newton observed that their lives were perceived to revolve around "confrontation, prostitution, and drug 'highs'." Even in a gay underworld where everyone was marked as deviant, it was the sincere street queens who tried to live as women who were punished most for what was celebrated-and paid-as an act onstage. When stage queens lost their jobs, they were often socially excluded like trans women. Newton explained that when she returned to Kansas City one night during her fieldwork, she learned that two poor queens she had met had recently lost their jobs as impersonators. Since then, they had become "indistinguishable from street fairies," growing out their hair long and wearing makeup in public-even "passing" as girls in certain situations," in addition to earning a reputation for taking pills. They were now treated harshly by everyone in the local scene. Most people wouldn't even speak to them in public. Professional drag queens who didn't live as women still had to avoid being seen as too "transy" in their style and demeanor. One professional queen that Newton interviewed explained why: it was dangerous to be transy because it reinforced the stigma of effeminacy without the safety of being onstage. "I think what you do in your bed is your business," he told Newton, echoing a middle-class understanding of gay privacy, "[but] what you do on the street is everybody's business."
The first street queen who appears in Mother Camp is named Lola, a young Black trans girl who is "becoming a woman,' as they say'." Newton met Lola at her dingy Kansas City apartment, where she lived with Tiger, a young gay man, and Godiva, a somewhat more respectable queen. What made Godiva more respectable than Lola wasn't just a lack of hormonal transition. It was that Godiva could work as a female impersonator because she wasn't trying to sincerely live as a woman. Lola, on the other hand, was permanently out of work because being Black and trans made her unhireable, including in female impersonation. When Newton entered their apartment, which had virtually no furniture, she found Lola lying on "a rumpled-up mattress on the floor" and entertaining three "very rough-looking young men." These kinds of apartments, wrote Newton, "are not 'homes.' They are places to come in off the street." The extremely poor trans women who lived as street queens, like Lola, "literally live outside the law," Newton explained. Violence and assault were their everyday experiences, drugs were omnipresent, and sex work was about the only work they could do. Even if they didn't have "homes," street queens "do live in the police system."
As a result of being policed and ostracized by their own gay peers, Newton felt that street queens were "dedicated to "staying out of it" as a way of life. "From their perspective, all of respectable society seems square, distant, and hypocritical. From their 'place' at the very bottom of the moral and status structure, they are in a strategic position to experience the numerous discrepancies between the ideals of American culture and the realities." Yet, however withdrawn or strung out they were perceived to be, the street queens were hardly afraid to act. On the contrary, they were regarded by many as the bravest and most combative in the gay world. In the summer of 1966, street queens in San Francisco fought back at Compton's Cafeteria, an all-night venue popular with sex workers and other poor gay people. After management had called the police on a table that was hanging out for hours ordering nothing but coffee, an officer grabbed the arm of one street queen. As the historian Susan Stryker recounts, that queen threw her coffee in the police officer's face, "and a melee erupted." As the queens led the patrons in throwing everything on their tables at the cops-who called for backup-a full-blown riot erupted onto the street. The queens beat the police with their purses "and kicked them with their high-heeled shoes." A similar incident was documented in 1959, when drag queens fought back against the police at Cooper's Donuts in Los Angeles by throwing donuts-and punches. How many more, unrecorded, times street queens fought back is anyone's guess. The most famous event came in 1969, when street queens led the Stonewall rebellion in New York City. Newton shares in Mother Camp that she wasn't surprised to learn it was the street queens who carried Stonewall. "Street fairies," she wrote, "have nothing to lose."
Jules Gill-Peterson, A Short History of Trans Misogyny
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Lovesick Alastor Headcanon
Alastor X Reader
Warnings ⚠
⚠ deer man is possessive/obsessive over you, hides it somewhat, very yandere coded but doesn't force you to do anything you don't like, suggestive/implied, hint at cannibalism, blood, ☺🔪 ⚠
This goes for almost all versions of the Reader. Child reader/platonic relationships excluded.
He's had his eye on you for a while now. Of course you didn't know since he always kept his composure.
You were a jewel among rocks to him.
Will do anything to make you fall in love with him. Not make but persuade.
Uses Vox as a dummy whenever he can to make himself look good.
Waits for you to approach him.
And when you do he's the happiest demon in Hell.
He likes when you wear red. Especially if you are covered in blood.
Its not yours, no. He'd never let that happen.
Literally crazy about you.
He doesn't do PDA but behind closed doors is a different story.
Alastor is a gentleman! He won't do anything unless you ask him to. Kisses, cuddles, hand holding, biting-
*cough*
Depending on what you like of course.
Only spills your blood with your permission. Fully consensual.
Likes holding you close or having you nearby. It calms him down when he's upset or too peppy.
When you are at the hotel, he likes whisking you away to his office for kisses.
Buys you jewelry, food, clothes. A lot of gifts that are in his colors. Maybe one thing you'll wear everyday with a microphone on it.
Everyone knows to STAY AWAY.
Of course Vox is an idiot and tries to woo you but fails miserably.
"You know how much I adore you my dearest.", Alastor caresses your face. "Jusqu'à la fin des temps ou jusqu'à ce qu'il n'y ait plus que nous." (Until the end of time, or until it's just us.)
Makes sure you're content and well taken care of.
Of course there are times when he does too much and you get upset.
"Alastor, please let me do this for myself.", you'll say with a pout.
"Forgive me my darling.", he kisses the top of your head. "You know I like taking care of you, but as you wish."
He shows off his demon form because he knows you like it.
Teases you about it later in your shared hotel room, until you're hiding your blushing face.
"I thought you liked my radio dial eyes?", he leans closer, purposefully turning them into radio dials. "₩as ¡ wr¤Ω&?", he asks, static more noticeable in his voice.
"D-don't!", you'll stutter and shiver, peeking through your fingers.
His smile widens and he'll continue transforming. "What's the matter my love?", he chuckles as he looms over you. "Trouble holding back?"
Falls in love all over again when you get pissed at someone.
Watches as you tear up said demon and cheers for you. "Save me a piece or two darling!"
Man worships and adores you.
No one will ever see you make the Radio Demon blush, but you don't mind. That's only for you to see.
He's yours after all.
Thank you to @the-friend-lol for making me the gif.
~Seline, the person.
Taglist@
@ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?
ML for Alastor🎙
#alastor#x reader#gn reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#alastor x reader#headcanons#hint at yandere reader#wink wink
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I have once more wore my contacts a bit longer than I was supposed to and I am now facing the consequences
#raineyrambles#the consequences being my right eye has been on fire since last night#which means I don’t want to do literally anything because it hurts#also being forced to wear my glasses that I hate wearing#considering I’ve wore contacts almost everyday for 8 years#I feel like I haven’t gotten ready for the unless I put them in#also also don’t have anymore but I have an appointment Saturday so I should get some then#but that also means I have to sit through and eye appointment which I hate#90% of the time it’s me going ‘I don’t see a difference’#which considering my eyes shouldn’t have gotten worse it should go quickly
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