#gunpla excluded as i do often post those on facebook but thats easy and doesnt make me nervous as its model kits and they are cool as fuck | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

youreaclownnow · 8 months ago

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So the toguro vs yusuke final fight and all that entails, like it left me feeling some sort of way when I watched it yesterday. I couldn't really put it into words till now, but I think it was because of yusuke's inner struggle with himself and his emotions that got me. It's kinda relatable in a way. It presents differently for him as it does to me, but ive come to realize i DO kinda have some pretty high walls up. I'm only ever fully honest and open about how I feel when I'm online. Very rarely do I express myself in a meaningful or constructive way irl, and it's preventing me from living the way I want to. I realized this after my dad said to me today that I feel very distant all the time. Not sure exactly what to do with these realizations, but ah well. I'll figure it out.

#just as an example yall see me on here everyday posting fandom shit and art #how much does my family see or hear about of my interests and ongoing projects? maybe 2% of what you guys get in total #gunpla excluded as i do often post those on facebook but thats easy and doesnt make me nervous as its model kits and they are cool as fuck #but even with friends irl i just... i dont open up that much. ill sit there and not talk much at all for a good deal of the time #and that goes for a lot of subjects and aspects of things that i think about regularly not just fandom stuff ofc #thats just a big one for me because when im alone it is literally a constant in all aspects of my life #its like i feel compelled to put a mask up. i dont think that its a healthy thing though and id like to not have to wear it so often

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