#because i still need them to have that conflict and the growing closer again thing. thats like half of the whole point if not more

[flionp]

I might just scrap everything I have for awggtbag so far. I might.

[aspoonofsugar]

Have yo read Captive Prince? What do you think of Laurent's character? Does he foil any other characters (besides being mind to Damen's heart)?

Hi!

Yes, I have and I love Laurent <3 He has the most complex arc and is at the centre of the major conflict, so he foils several characters, who are used to explore his personality and to progress his arc.

In general, I would say three major jungian archetypes are used in Laurent's story:

Inner Child = the childish and most vulnerable part of a person, which is influenced by one's younger years. Laurent's inner child is embodied primarily by Nicaise, but also by every boy abused and raped by the Regent.

Shadow = the repressed part, which the person doesn't want to aknowledge. Laurent has severals: the Regent himself, Aimeric and Jokaste. They all embody Laurent's most negative side.

Anima/Animus = the anima is the female side of a man and the animus is the male side of a woman. It is usually used in romantic subplots to show two characters growing closer. Here, it is embodied by the bond between Laurent and Damen.

Laurent's arc is one where he integrates with Damen, but to succeed he also needs to save his inner child and to face his shadow. Or to fail and try again.

BROTHERS AND LOVERS

Laurent and Damen foil each others' brothers:

Laurent foils Kastor: both are the unfavourite child, but Laurent adores Auguste, while Kastor resents Damen. At the same time, Damen perceives them in opposite ways. Damen initially doesn't aknowledge the good in Laurent, while he doesn't see the evil in Kastor. It is as Nikandros says. At the beginning of the story, Damen sees things in black and white. By getting to know Laurent he learns complexity and that the world is in shades of grey. He integrates his own heart with Laurent's mind. His own idealism with Laurent's wisdom.

Damen foils Auguste: both are strong fighters and beloved leaders, able to inspire others. The moment Auguste dies, Laurent loses his heart and it is only with Damen that he learns to trust and to open up again. It is also through Damen that he overcomes Auguste's death and his sense of inferiority, which is carefully nurtured by the Regent. Laurent is brilliant, but his arc is about showing vulnerability and find new faith in others. He integrates his mind with Damen's heart. His wisdom with Damen's idealism.

So, as you said, Laurent is the mind to Damen's heart and has to rediscover his own interiority. He needs to love himself again. Only by doing so he can truly escape the Regent and grow up. This process of growth is the main focus of the trilogy and it happens twice:

Laurent fails to grow in the second book

Laurent succeeds and completes his growth in the third book

Let's see how.

NICAISE AND AIMERIC = LAURENT'S DARKEST HOUR

Laurent's darkest hour happens at the end of the second book. This is common for a trilogy. It is not rare for the second installement to end in a negative way. Now, The Prince's Gambit doesn't end badly. Laurent and Damen win and grow closer. Laurent even frees Damen and they have sex for the first time. Still, psychologically, Laurent risks a huge brakdown because of Nicaise and Aimeric's deaths.

Nicaise and Aimeric are two parts of Laurent:

-Nicaise is Laurent's child-self. He is petty and capricious, but he cares deeply. And yet, he can't show any vulnerability. The moment he does, he is killed. Moreover, Nicaise plaids for Laurent because he deep down thinks the Regent won't kill him. This is true for Laurent, as well:

"I didn't think he's really try to kill me" Laurent said "After everything... even after everything".

-Aimeric is Laurent's shadow. He is a young man, whose life is defined by the Regent's sexual abuse. Aimeric confuses the Regent's imitation of love with true care and fights to get it back, even if it means hurting people, who truly love him. Unconsciously, this is true for Laurent too:

"You play his games like you want to show him you can. Like you're trying to impress him. Is that it? You need to beat him at his own game? You want him to see you do it? At the expense of your positions and the lives of your men? Are you that desperate for his attention? Well, you have it. Congratulations. You must have loved it that he was obsessed enough with you that he killed his own boy to get at you. You win."

Damen's speech to Laurent is basically the same one Laurent gives Aimeric. Aimeric shines light on this specific aspect of Laurent. Laurent too still loves his uncle. He too wants his attention and on some level thinks of his uncle as his only family:

"When you lost your brother, was there someone to confort you?" "Yes," said Laurent. "In a way".

So, Nicaise and Aimeric embody Laurent's vulnerability. Nicaise is the child who still feels safe with the Regent. Aimeric is the young adult, who wants the Regent back. Both are Laurent. This is why Laurent wants to rescue them both. He grows close to Nicaise and tells him he will buy his contract and free him. He accepts Aimeric into his guard and refuses Damen's advice to send him away. And yet, the Regent uses them both against Laurent. He kills Nicaise and has Aimeric betray Laurent.

Laurent wants to help both Nicaise and Aimeric and the Regent tells him he can't. Just like he can't save himself.

According to the Regent's narrative:

Laurent is fond of Nicaise, but eventually leaves him alone out of selfishness

Laurent welcomes Aimeric in, but this is a blind spot that is used against him

By using vulnerable and abused kids, the Regent conveys to Laurent two messages. On the one hand Laurent isn't selfless enough to truly save anyone. He isn't good enough to be a protector like Auguste. On the other hand he is still foolish enough to trust others. He isn't smart enough to be a mastermind like the Regent. Too cruel and too foolish is how the Regent wants Laurent to see himself. So, that Laurent would feel trapped and cut others out.

And Laurent almost gives in, but is stopped by Damen:

"You tried to hurt me, and you have. I wish you would see that what you have just done to me is what your uncle is doing to you."

Damen goes through to Laurent and stops him from losing himself. He saves him from turning into a copy of the Regent.

THE REGENT

The Regent is Laurent's negative foil. He is who Laurent could become if he gave in to his worst instincts. As a matter of fact Laurent shares many similarities with his uncle:

Both are very intelligent master manipulators

Both are able to seize people's weaknesses and to use them

Both can be cruel and ruthless

Both tend to complicate things

This isn't by chance because the Regent does his best to break Laurent's heart and to warp his mind into a frailer copy of his own. He needs Laurent to think like him and to follow his rules, so that he can beat his nephew. This is why the Regent spends the years after Marlas by abusing Laurent in different ways.

The Regent's abuse has a double nature:

It has a sexual component: the Regent rapes Laurent multiple times as a child and shows possessiveness of him as a young adult. For example, many of his assassin attempts come with a sexual element. The assassins instructed to rape Laurent by using a drogue the Regent clearly used on his nephew as a child. Having Laurent and Damen sleep together, so that Laurent would eventually kill himself. Twisting Laurent and Damen's love story, as if to frame Laurent as dirty and despicable. Spreading voices about Laurent's supposed romantic feelings for Auguste. And so on...

It has an emotional component: the Regent keeps mentioning Auguste, which hurts Laurent in two ways. On the one hand it doesn't let him move on from his brother's death. On the other hand it drills into Laurent he isn't as good as the previous prince

"I hate to see you grown up like this," said the Regent, "when you were such a lovely boy."

The Regent basically blames Laurent for both growing up (physically) and not growing up (psychologically). He manipulates him by treating him as a child, while implying he isn't pure as a child anymore. The result is that Laurent hates himself.

This self-hate manifests itself in recklessness, suicidal tendencies and self-destroying behaviors. Like Laurent lashing out at others, when he is actually furious at himself. This is why specifically Laurent breaks Aimeric by using their shared trauma as a weapon. He hurts both Aimeric and Jord (who hasn't done anything, but being loyal to Laurent) because to truly face Aimeric means to accept himself and he can't.

Symbolically, Laurent kills Aimeric like he is slowly killing himself. This is why Aimeric's death happens after the reveal of Nicaise's murder by the Regent. Laurent kills Aimeric, just like the Regent kills Nicaise. Both victims are abused kids with frail and unstable senses of self, who deep down seek love and vulnerability. The lesson Laurent needs to learn is that he can't save the Nicaise within himself, if he doesn't help the Aimeric too. This is why it is important that Laurent is able to express empathy for Aimeric and to recognize he is a wounded person, just like Nicaise:

"Nicaise knew that when he got too old, he would be replaced." "Like Aimeric," said Damen. Into the long silence that stretched out between them, Laurent said: "Like Aimeric."

It is the first step to aknowledge his own hurt too.

AUGUSTE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH

The second step is instead to face Auguste's ghost. Laurent's big brother is a double edged sword for the Prince. On the one hand Laurent deeply loves Auguste and is devastated by his dead. On the other hand his idealization of Auguste is unhealthy and leads to Laurent undervaluing himself.

These powerful contradictive feelings come to the surface in his "sparring" match with Damen. There, Laurent for once is able to show all his anger and grief. He lets it all out and is forced to accept he would have never been able to kill Damen in a fight. Still, another realization comes to the surface:

"I know," said Laurent, "that I was never good enough." Damen said, "Neither was your brother." "You're wrong. He was -" "What?" "Better than I am. He would have -" Laurent cut himself off. He pressed his eyes closed, with a breath of something like laughter. "Stopped you." He said it as though he could hear the ludicrousness of it.

Damen's words might seem cruel, but they are actually necessary because they break Laurent's internalised idolisation of Auguste. Laurent has been brought up with the convinction that Auguste is somehow better than him. This idea is present even before Auguste's death because of their father's favouritism. The early loss of his brother and subsequent abuse only makes this feeling stronger. Hence why Damen refusing this helps Laurent grow. Damen is the first one to see Laurent as his own person and to give him a choice:

Damen picked up the discarded knife, and when Laurent's eyes opened, he put it in Laurent's hand. Braced it. Drew it to his own abdomen, so that they stood in a familiar posture. Laurent's back was to the post. "Stop me," said Damen.

Laurent chooses to give up on his revenge. He chooses his present relationship with Damen over Auguste's ghost. He starts wishing for something positive for himself. He starts caring for himself. He starts looking toward a possible future.

JOKASTE = OPENING THE DOOR

To reach this future Laurent has to face Jokaste, who is really another version of Laurent:

"You're lucky we're alike," Jokaste said, stepping down. She and Laurent looked at one another like two reptiles.

Not only that, though, she is Aimeric and Nicaise combined in a single character:

Like Aimeric, she betrays a lover for selfish reasons (apparently)

Like Nicaise, she is caught up in a power struggle and has to choose the side, which ensures her survival, even if it means negate her heart to do so

"You mean, the only difference between us is that I chose the wrong brother?" As the stars began to drift across the sky, Laurent thought of Nicaise, standing in the courtyard with a handful of sapphires. "I don't think you chose," said Laurent.

This time Laurent is able to see this. He empathizes with Jokaste and gives her freedom. He opens her the door:

"We're alike. You said that. Would you have opened the door for me? I don't know. But you opened one for him."

In this way Laurent understands the Aimeric he could not understand and saves the Nicaise he could not save. By the end, Aimeric (Jokaste) is shown mercy and Nicaise (her baby) survives. Laurent gives Jokaste and her family a future. And in this way, he symbolically gives himself a future and a family. He opens his own door.

THE TRIAL

The climax of the trilogy is Laurent's trial in Ios. This choice is interesting on multiple levels:

It is an inversion of the ending of book 1, where Damen is blamed for the assassination attempt on Laurent's life and Laurent protects him. In fatc, it is not by chance that Damen mentions the episode in his initial defense of Laurent.

It shows Damen and Laurent's integration. As a matter of fact Damen is the one who realizes Paschal has the key to dethrone the Regent. He is able to do so because through Laurent he has learnt to observe others, to understand them and to empathize with them. Laurent instead selflessly gives everything up for the person he loves and bravely faces off the Regent with no plan, but simply with his heart. The Regent tries to turn it into a weakness and to force Laurent to give it up, but fails. Finally, he and not Damen is the one who fights Kastor and kills him. He uses the skills he has learnt for his revenge and uses them to protect Damen, instead. He chooses life and love over death and hate.

Most importanlty, though, the trial starts as a farce, but by the end it becomes a fair administration of justice, which punishes the criminal and recognizes the innocent. Let's see how this change happens.

NICAISE = VICTORY

Laurent wins not because of his mind, but because of his heart. Specifically, he wins because of the relationships he builds and of his ability to empathize with the humblest people, those nobody cares about.

First of all, Laurent obviously wins thanks to Damen. It is Damen choosing him over his kingdom that makes it possible to the tides to turn. So, it is because Laurent overcome his internalized hate for Damianos and slowly comes to accept and love him, that he is saved in the end. In a sense, the night where he has to choose if to let Damen die or to save him out of loyalty in volume 1 is when Laurent chooses who he wants to be. He can let a man he hates die without risking anything, like the Regent would. Or he can save that man our of a sense of fairness, like Auguste would. Laurent chooses the latter and makes the first true move towards his victory.

Secondly, Laurent is able to touch the councilors' sense of morality thanks to Loyse, Aimeric's mother. She reveals that her husband basically sold Aimeric to the Regent in exchange of power. She also explains how the Regent conspired with Kastor to kill Theodemes. This testimony isn't decisive because the assassination of Theodemes is a matter of Akielos. Nonetheless, Loyse re-opens the trial and gives importance to Aimeric's story and pain. It is also important that she is a woman because the Regent hates women. She is the character nobody considers, as everyone is focused on Guion's, the powerful councilor. And yet, Laurent does and convinces her to break free from her husband influence for the sake of her son.

Thirdly, Laurent is saved by Paschal's testimony. That said, Paschal is only able to reveal the truth about the Regent's murder of the King only because of Nicaise. In general, Nicaise is a character, who ends up being important in the finales of all three books:

In book one, Nicaise goes to Laurent's apartments after the attempted murder. He is clearly worried and can't decide if to openly switch sides and tell Laurent the truth or not. He also appears to tell Laurent goodbye and to give him his earrings. Symbolically, Laurent is saying goodbye to his younger and most innocent self, as he prepares to enter war with his uncle.

In book two, Nicaise's death is revealed in the climax and it leads to Laurent's decision to march on Charcy. It also kickstarts Laurent's deepest psychological crisis, as he struggles to keep a clean mind and shows how deep he is hurt and desperate.

In book three, Nicaise is the one who indirectly hands Laurent victory, as it is him who stole Govart's papers and gave him to Paschal.

In other words, Nicaise is the one who leads to victory, which fits his name. As a matter of fact Nicaise means "victorious", the person who brings victory and he delivers.

Thematically, this is very important, as Laurent initially regrets to have grown close to Nicaise:

"I killed Nicaise when I left it half done. I should have either stayed away from him, or broken his faith in my uncle. I didn't plan it out, I left it to chance. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking about him like that. I just... I liked him."

He believes that because of their sibling-like bond Nicaise is now dead. He believes his influence isn't enough to break the Regent's control over Nicaise. And yet, it is precisely because of Laurent's love and care for Nicaise that the boy is able to rebel himself enough to steal key documents and to hand them to Laurent's side. Nicaise dies tragically, but his life and Laurent's kindness to him are not in vain. They change the destiny of two kingdoms. Laurent isn't able to save his child-self, but his child-self is strong enough to save him. Just like Laurent might not cancel what happened to him in the past, but can still move forward:

"Stop it, you're hurting him. You're hurting him. Let him go." A soldier was holding him back, and the boy was fighting him. Laurent looked at the boy, and in his eyes was the knowledge that some things couldn't be fixed. He said, "Get that boy out of here."

The new Regent pet once again mirrors a part of Laurent. The side of him that still sees the Regent at family. And yet, Laurent is finally able to accept this part of himself, but is strong enough to start healing. Just like as King he has now the chance to help as many children as the Regent hurt. Laurent ends is arc by growing up. He isn't a child anymore:

"You think you can defy me?" the Regent said to Laurent. "You think you can rule Vere? You?" Laurent said, "I'm not a boy anymore."

He isn't a boy anymore, he can't be controlled by the Regent anymore. He can now start a new life as his own person, free from the Regent and from Auguste's ghost. A life of love and new relationships.

[rafayelsbelovedbride]

Dragons and scapegoats

I made a post a while ago comparing Philos/Earth/Lemuria to Omelas here. And now that Sylus has his myths too, let me continue.

Special thanks to @ourlittleuluru for giving me more reason to talk about him. I was just going to reblog it with your tags but it got too long. So here it is~

While my expectations about the myths were way off for Sylus, I think, he still fits this theme really well. Because, yes, he was the child in the basement, and he was the scapegoat, along with all the dragons.

When humans first arrived in the past days of Philos, they probably came to this place to escape the wanderer-infested Earth and find a place where they could live a peaceful life. Maybe the public was told Philos would be a nice little utopic place where people could live without fearing for their lives. But they were sold a lie. What they found when they arrived at Philos was a dying planet where dragons ruled, with a hollow core that was falling apart into pieces. It was just fragmented landmasses slowly drifting apart as described in Xavier's anecdotes.

So, wouldn't the public be outraged? Defeated. Betrayed. Drained. Drained, because they still have to fight for their lives. Betrayed, because they were scammed out of a better future. Defeated, because there is no such thing as heaven, only a different hell.

So, of course, to prevent the public from turning against them, the people who brought humanity to Philos had to find someone to blame.

A perfect scapegoat. A scapegoat that can hold a mirror to all of humanity's twisted desires and yet still be blamed for it.

Dragons, the harbinger of war and conflict. Dragons, that could bring the darkest parts of one's soul to light. Of course, they're to blame. After all, anyone would prefer to say, it was not me who had these evil, heinous thoughts, my soul was corrupted by a dragon. No need to take responsibility for my wicked nature, the dragon made me do it.

So, they declared war on dragons, promising a better future once again. They killed every single one of the dragon-kind until there was only one of them left. Now, the last dragon cannot be killed. If all dragons were dead, then there would be no scapegoat. One of them must be kept locked in the basement to remind us all he's responsible for every evil in this world. We are not just locking a little child into the basement, we are locking the evil away.

So they made a spectacle out of the last dragon's demise and sealed him into the abyss with a claymore in his chest. A violent end for a vicious dragon. A constant reminder to all humanity to keep their souls untainted by desire. Of course, a puppet without a want is the easiest to control after all.

But, now, enough time has passed. Maybe the public is growing restless and no one really cares about the child in the basement anymore. So, the moment they find a puppet with a single desire, they frame her too. And burn her dragon. Burn her sympathy for the locked child.

And that's how it begins. For MC's and Sylus's story, they're both the scapegoats. And for their story, MC is the one who broke the child free out of the basement and brought doomsday to Philos. With Sylus, we take a closer look at the story from the child's perspective rather than the savior's, who set the child free.

And, we see that even freeing the child and destroying the people responsible for his imprisonment does not guarantee a happy ending. He is still a dragon who is destined to ruin anything he loves and everything he desires.

And, maybe that was the reason why he let himself be trapped by the sacred judicator in the first place. Sylus never accepted his identity as a dragon. He hated it. He fooled himself into thinking he was just like other humans, and cut up his horns every time they grow until he was a bloody mess. Maybe, that young dragon, while soldiers were chasing him with their swords, thought that this was what he deserved. Happiness and being satisfied with what he has is just not in his nature. That day, he was defeated not by an army of humans, but by his own hatred against himself.

So, loving her, with his own soul etched in hers, meant accepting his own nature. And maybe, that was how he actually broke free out of his chains. That's when he saw himself not as a scapegoat for humanity's sins, but as a lonely dragon who deserved this love he received.

At the beginning of the story, he did not try to break free from his chains until MC found him, he did not seek revenge unless MC asked for it. But by the end, he broke free when was imprisoned and burned down every city to the ground. By the end, he seeked MC when she was about to be executed and willingly fell into their trap. Only this time he did not accept his end because he hated himself, but he accepted it to save his beloved who owns half his soul. That was a sacrifice he made in the name of love, all with selflessness, while accepting his flawed nature. And that's how he broke free of the dragon's curse at the same time he escaped his fate to become a scapegoat for the people of Philos.

And I really love the current Sylus. He still longs for human connection just like his younger self. But his desire to connect does not bring self-hatred anymore. Instead, he rides the subway, takes the twins under his wings, and goes to karaoke with MC's coworkers.

Maybe, he feels at peace now. I hope he does.

He's reunited with the owner of his soul. And even if everyone blames him for what's wrong in this world, he has no desire to let them have their way. He will escape the space-time prison and chase MC to the ends of the worlds.

So, he will get the ending he actually deserves this time with his beloved by his side.

[sindar-princeling]

3.3k word long RoP review because I'm cranky

I have already been sharing my more detailed notes from each episode here, but with this post I wanted to gather all my feelings and frustrations into something more coherent.

PLOTLINES AND PACING

It's been said before, but show has WAY too many plotlines - or rather, it has an amount of plotlines it can't manage. 12 plotlines (the broad plotline of the rings, Celebrimbor and Annatar, Sauron and Galadriel, Adar and orcs, the Stranger's identity, Nori and Poppy and their own struggles, the dwarves plus their rings plus the balrog, the dark wizard, Elrond and Durin, Numenor (which I'd say has two distinct plotlines, too), Isildur's plotline, and Theo's teased plotline with the Southlanders) doesn't have to be too many, but you have to be able to juggle them. Once again, I want to mention Lost, which started with a terrifying amount of 14 MAIN characters (and give or take five million side characters) - and while people grew to have different opinions about the show as it went on, you cannot deny seasons 1 and 2 are incredibly strong and remain some absolutely iconic pieces television. The creators took those legions of characters and RAN with them, and it was incredible.

If you only have 8 episodes to work with, you need fewer plotlines; if you want more plotlines, you need more episodes. From a purely mathematical perspective, even if you divided your time equally, with 8 roughly hour-long episodes and 12 plotlines you'd get 40-45 minutes per plotline. Then, you're left with a question: can I write a satisfying arc for 40 minutes of screen time? Can I write five, ten, TWELVE of those?

(It would have been easier, of course, if the RoP plotlines interacted with one another, but they rarely do. Usually, when you give 5 minutes of your limited time to one subplot, no other subplot gets to take part in it.)

Except, RoP doesn't divide its time equally. Nori was on the screen for what felt like 15 minutes, and in reality couldn't have been much more, because this subplot was completely sidelined; the same can be said for Gandalf, Isildur, Theo, and Arondir. To make a story something engaging, something moving, you need to either give it time to grow, or be an extremely skilled writer who can rewire someone's brain with ten lines of dialogue. And RoP fails at both.

The strongest points of this season were moments when it was focused on two, three plotlines at once, not more. That's when you could see it at least had potential to be engaging; that's when it all felt less chaotic, and like you could finally immerse yourself in the story.

Celebrimbor and Annatar

They were definitely one of the most interesting subplots this season, and the focus on it let Charles Edward shine. His performance easily the best in season 2.

It was a solid 7/10 plot. I still felt that it left a lot to be desired - I wanted Sauron's deceptions, Celebrimbor's realisation, the creation of the rings, and the whole dynamic between the two of them to pack more of a punch - but it managed to be a thread connecting a few plotlines together, something this show desperately needed.

What felt most ridiculous was the torturing scene, with Sauron shooting at Celebrimbor from a bow from a few steps away. It made me want to laugh during a moment when the last thing you want your viewers to do is laugh.

Galadriel and Sauron

I cover them more in the 'Characters' section. In terms of pacing, the conflict between them was somewhere in the background the whole time until their confrontation came, and it was, you know. Perfectly inoffensive, and just- correct.

All I'm going to say here is that the fight scene from episode 8 was written in a very generic way, and made me cringe quite a lot. The choreography felt off - it was kind of slow, and the use of the crown of morgoth made me roll my eyes a few times. It felt like it was meant to be just a showy addition to a fight, making it more "intimate" because they needed to stand closer for Sauron to be able to use it. "You want to heal Middle-Earth? Heal yourself." throws herself off a cliff where he can then easily retrieve the rings when she's unconscious remains one of the top three worst moments of both season two AND season one.

On a personal level, I fucking hate the romantic undertones they keep giving them on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

Dwarves

Making the balrog be one of the final scenes in their subplot in season one, only to make everyone wait for it until the finale again, was, of course, nothing more than a cheap tactic to keep people engaged. All in all, though, the Dwarves' subplot was one of the top ones in terms of the amount of things I liked. I appreciate that they leaned away from the antisemitic stereotype of them being inherently greedy. The stone listeners/singers are still one of the most original and fitting pieces of lore this show came up with, and their love for the stone and the mountains shines through in a moving way. It still annoys me that the race they gave Scottish accents to is more crass and swears more than the English Elves, though. It's so, SO annoying.

I'm kinda indifferent to Durin III. His subplot was pretty standard, but the final change of heart was terribly abrupt, and the last shot with him was so action movie-y you'd think it came from Fast and Furious 15.

Adar and the orcs

Adar's subplot continues to carry some of the most original and thought-provoking ideas of the show, as well as challenge some of Tolkien's writing in regard to the orcs. It's executed in a kind of messy way, but I appreciate that it's here. I wonder where it will go now that Adar is dead, because I'd love to see more morally complex orcs, who are in many ways victims of Sauron to the same degree as other races.

Nori+Gandalf, Numenor and Isildur

Nori, Poppy and Gandalf got kinda laughably little time, and so, the subplot achieved very little. Gandalf's search for who he is was already annoying to me, but then he and Nori got separated and the subplot got split into two. In Gandalf's subplot, we got Bombadil (more on that later), in Nori's, we got a new hobbit race. The show wants the two to be a non-insignificant part of its emotional core, but devotes no time for it. Make it make sense.

Numenor was… strange. It's a political drama, but all that happened in this season was more or less: Miriel is going to be queen- jk, Pharazon is going to be k- just kidding again, it's gonna be Miri- SIKE AGAIN. It was repetitive, and the manipulations and plots were frustrating instead of intriguing. (And again - that's because there was no time given to this subplot.)

Isildur has got to be the most useless subplot I've seen in a hot second. Net zero events. Net zero emotional involvement. He meets a girl, they kiss after two days even though she's taken, he can't take her back home to Numenor. He talks to Theo once. The end. Waste of everyone's time.

The Dark Wizard

It just made me sad, because for a while there I was hoping we'd see Rhun in a different way than before, but no, it's still a Land Of Shady People. :/

CHARACTERS

Sauron

Sauron felt bizarrely underutilised considering we're in a show called "Sauron: The Things Sauron Helped Make". He's the Deceiver! His plots and manipulations should have reached the levels of Elias from TMA or S2 Ben from Lost - when they succeed, you feel so sorry for the protagonists, but it's so immensely satisfying. You are in awe of the scale of the plans they pulled off, or how often they manage to make protagonists believe them.

(Remember when you see Vader at the end of Rogue One and his entrance is just chilling? THAT'S doing an iconic villain justice. We should have got moments when Sauron is utterly terrifying, but they never really came.)

His infatuation slash interest in Galadriel adds nothing to the show apart from some truly juvenile levels of drama between them, and some terrible, generic dialogue. They would have been one of each other's strongest focuses, anyway - they're one of each other's greatest enemies. The specific kind of romantic tension they got only takes away from their personalities.

Sauron is also one of the best examples of RoP creators flattening meaningful themes and events from Tolkien's works. Mordor is not a land killed slowly and painfully by Sauron's presence, where the evil literally chokes you and drains your will to live - it was just "activated" one day! The Nazgul are not horribly twisted souls of men who have no will of their own because they gave in to the rings - they just got rings that are more evil because they have Sauron's blood in them! Sauron is not an ambiguous figure with many names and forms, many of which are terrifying husks - he's a literal pile of black goo for a while. (??????)

(No, seriously. ??????????)

Charlie Vickers managed to make him kind of okay, I'd say? But the wasted potential never stops being painfully apparent.

Galadriel

Oh, my beloved Galadriel. Oh, what did they do to you.

The complex, mighty Galadriel, who is ambitious, proud and desires power, who wants to rule a land of her own, who finally decides not to be a Queen, but a Lady of Lorien, precisely because she knows what her greatest weakness is. Who is not tempted or touched by Sauron, and no-one would ever suggest she is - her hunger for power is entirely her own.

I know Tolkien had a thousand different versions of Galadriel, but one thing she was not, was absent from her own story. RoP Galadriel's story revolves around Sauron and the rings, and her greatest ambitions were taken from her and put into Sauron's mouth in season one in one of the most infuriating writing decisions I've been unlucky to witness (also sexist as fuck). The show does not allow her to be respected, or powerful, or wise - she is at fault for Sauron's return, and treated like an idiot for it. The romantic undertones of the subplot make it even worse, turning her into a young woman with a crush who now needs to prove to people around her she can still think straight.

I hate what they did to Galadriel, and the caricature they turned her into.

I'm also not a fan of Morfydd Clark's portrayal, I don't think she fits this character, but the script choices are what pisses me off the most anyway.

There is also a lot to say about the fact she looks like one of the youngest elves, when she should be either much older (than for example Gil-galad or Elrond) or roughly the same age (as Celebrimbor). The way she's presented in RoP, Galadriel is young and hot-headed, and constantly told off by older men. NOT the feminist breakthrough in Middle-Earth that Amazon wants to pretend it is.

ALSO making Elrond kiss her… Why does she have to be put in those unserious situations that feel like fan fiction in the worst possible way,

Celebrimbor

The best character this season, mostly because of his portrayal - Charles Edwards didn't stand out to me in season one, but I truly liked him a lot in season two. The script, once more, doesn't pack too much of a punch, and leads him through some non-sensical events ("the perfection of three, thrice perfected" why does this make sense to him?), but his emotional moments hit because of the quality of his acting. Without him, this season would have been truly barely tolerable.

Gandalf and Tom Bombadil

Putting these two together because they both flabbergasted me in a pretty similar way.

I don't think the kind of plots they chose for these characters are right for them. An initiation plot for Gandalf who's already in Middle-Earth is not a choice I like - I'd love to see him learning from Nienna in Valinor much more. Still, I can see trying to portray his beginnings in ME. But amnesia? Having to find a staff because… what exactly? Having to be told everything about himself? Those are such generic choices for such an iconic character!

Show me Gandalf getting to know the land he's supposed to guard. Show me Gandalf meeting the Ents, the Elves, wandering, weaving the web of connections and friends ans allies that he always has, show his skills in bringing people together, like he does for all of LOTR.

Choices regarding Bombadil were bad, in my opinion. I've already said it, but for the sake of making it a separate post without 30984098 links - I think making Bombadil a mentor figure was strange. I don't think it works (again, talk about Nienna!). Bombadil is random help when you need it, almost like a narrative equivalent of- maybe not exactly a deus ex machina, but a small-scale divine intervention nonetheless. He appears when you need him and disappears right after, and you can continue your journey, but he won't join you. He's not a guide or a mentor.

Making him a mentor took away from how original a character he is - but the worst offender in that regard is still the fact that they gave him Gandalf's line from the books (the one about many living people deserving death, and many dead deserving to live). Once again, they were just hammering iconic quotes into the mouths of different characters and it's. First of all lazy (even if you change two words), second of all, very annoyingly on the nose, third of all, there are so many ways to subtly show characters' influence on one another, and straight up copying quotes is not creative, it's not original, it doesn't tell you anything about the character who adopted that quote other than they can repeat stuff. Did they have any feelings about it? Do they agree completely or do they add their own spin on it as they go through life? You'll never know! The only influence you are shown is: character A heard something from character B, then later said it word for word to character C. It makes character A little more than a sieve for a glass of water - they don't have thoughts or feelings, they don't transform the things they hear, they don't filter things through themself. What falls out is exactly what came in. RoP did it with Sauron and Galadriel in season one, and now with Gandalf and Bombadil. WHAT'S the point. Also I'm not sure this quote even fits Bombadil that well. He's a force of life and joy, but he has no problem with commanding things to obey him, like Old Man Willow. He's 100% a benevolent character, but probably not someone who would say "who are you to rule over powerful forces", at least in my opinion, because few rules actually touch him, if that makes sense.

HOWEVER. I did like hearing him sing all the time.

Others

Putting all other characters here, because I don't have as many thoughts about them. I love Miriel and Elendil, they have a great dynamic and along with Pharazon are the strongest parts of the Numenor subplot. Kemen and Earien annoy me so much. Nori and Poppy have painfully little personality. Durin and Disa, when they get good moments, are GOOD, but the script doesn't always let them shine. Gil-galad was good in episodes 7 and 8, forgettable in the rest. Elrond is kind of all over the place - they gave him a few interesting things to do, like brutally killing an orc to show just how ruthless Elves can be - but those things don't fit him, they should have been given to someone else. Adar saddens me because he got the mcu villain treatment where he makes good points, but then does unrelated inexcusable things so that you don't root for him too much.

Also, Celeborn continues to be "dead", and I fear to ask how they will handle his "reveal".

LORE

Oh boy, okay.

All I will say is that to each their own, but some of the lore choices simply piss me off. Why is mithril important to the Elves' survival? Why is everything about Sauron Like That? Why was Mordor created in a day? Why is the order of everything completely backwards?

The constant references to LOTR are a mixed bag. Some of them I liked ("pity will not defeat Sauron" when we know it will, the appearance of an Entwife), some of them were too on-the-nose for me to enjoy - the direct quotes, Old Man Ironwood, every time someone said "the lord of the rings", Sauron being present for the Doors of Durin being made.

I feel like the best thing this show could have done lore-wise, that would have taken care of so many issues, would have been putting most of their focus on making the world feel clearly like the world that will later diminish into the world we know from LOTR. Why make some unnecesary, non-sensical lore when this would connect your show to Tolkien so clearly? Worldbuilding is Tolkien's thing, and his world is one of the most recognisable out there. When the setting feels like Middle-Earth, everything that happens in it automatically feels more Tolkien-like.

You don't need to pay THAT much attention to worldbuilding with every author, but you absolutely do with him.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS

I don't have opinions on all technical aspects, because I always tend to focus on plots, characters and themes and am not very good or familiar with the technical side of filmmaking, so these are just some of my assorted thoughts.

I still enjoy the music in RoP; it may not be one of the most memorable soundtracks I've ever heard, but you can hear the references to Howard Shore's score (something that I learned was fully intentional), especially in the instruments used, and the "sound palettes" certain places and characters get in the process. I have no musical vocabulary so I can go on vibes only, but especially the orcs' themes feel close to Howard Shore's. It's a nice but still subtle way of connecting these two worlds.

I don't fully agree with people saying this show looks good. The costumes are still very simple, often just one layer of clothing with an added belt and some jewellery. Some characters don't change their costumes even once? I don't think Disa ever wore a different dress; at the very least, she spends most of the time in the same one as she did in season one. I'd say the costume designers weren't given enough time to work on them, because you can often see vision, but it always feels unfinished. Most of the time, armour looks better than everyday clothes, so you can't help but wonder if the everyday clothes were done in a rush.

Make-up on elven women is so modern-looking it breaks whatever immersion the show manages to build. I hate it so, so much (whoever decided Mirdania would look like that I am looking RIGHT at you and judging).

Annatar's wig was simply Not Good.

OVERALL

I feel that this show is both infuriatingly bad, and boringly mediocre; both slow, and fast and superficial. There's too few and too many things happening at once. It says so much, but it doesn't have anything actually meaningful to say, any connecting thought or feeling or motto. Emotionally, it feels empty.

It's hard to imagine future seasons being good enough to redeem the first two. And honestly, it just makes me sad.

[coldsaturn]

I finished my reread of TSC in preparation for TGR, and I have thoughts

Jean's sassiness and the way he calls/insults everyone in his vicinity like they're an ant beneath his shoe

The starcrossed tragedy between him and Renee. They're the right people at the wrong time but there's no "in another universe" for them because this is the only one where Jean lives.

"Probably not,” Abby said. “My Foxes chose to fight back.” Yeah, fuck you too Abby. This is why you're not the counselor of the team.

"Loving something is not enough" book theme if I've ever seen one

Right on cue, the fact that rainbows aren't Jean's first little miracle.

The difference between a book centered on Jean and one centered on Neil is incredibly evident. Picking up on what I said about Neil being a protagonist full of agency, here we have the very opposite. For the entire book things happen to Jean and he is unmoored, swept left and right by the current, stubbornly stuck in that corner where he can only take and receive and submit. And again, it works so well because we've known him for two books already, and we get constant sparks of that righteous rage he feels inside that at some point has to explode. And when that happens, we'll get the turn we need to a character who starts exercising agency. But reality is never that sweet, because Jean is right, his cage is so much bigger than the one he had before, but it's a cage nonetheless.

Speaking of differences between Neil's and Jean's POVs, I know it's already been pointed out countless times in the fandom, but it will never stop being funny how Jean salivates while looking at beautiful people, whereas if you ask Neil to describe them he'll go "Huuuuuuh, 2 eyes, 4 limbs?"

"Oh, he thought. It’s so big." Guess where I still get teary eyed.

"Unsteady fingers put in the Raven digits over and over and over." GUESS WHERE I STILL GET TEARY EYED.

We meet Neil at a point in his life where he's hiding his real identity even from himself, and we don't get to see who he is when he's given the freedom to be confident in his own skin until the very end of TKM (even though it's only a little glimpse). At the end of TSC we finally see him crystal clear, and the guy is a mafioso through and through lmaooo People going "oh Palmetto recruited the son of a criminal" like no you don't get it, the father is not the problem here lol

The cultural disconnect between age of consent laws in California/S.Carolina and Italy slapping me out of the book (and fandom discourse)

Too much has already been said about Jeremy's mysterious past. What I will add is: Jean is clearly in dire need of proper, well-adjusted friends who can build a solid support network around and under him, but it's obvious Jean is extremely conflicted over the gap between them. He doesn't want to talk about his life, but there's also a real concern over the fact that these people cannot fully understand him because they come from a different world than his, and the result is that Jean wants to protect them from himself as well. For his character to grow he'll have to step away from his broken reality and into something healthier, of course, so he will get closer to how they live, but there's always going to be a gap between them because his life literally belongs to the yakuza. He has freedom, as Neil reminded him, but his life will be cut short if he fails to deliver what he was bought for. And that's something that the characters we have as of now can empathize with because they care, but cannot viscerally understand, and I'm not sure they will accept (see the mirror between Jean stopping them from calling the police, and Neil asking Jean not to involve the Moriyama). I'm not sure where the story is going, if Jerejean will always have this gap between them that they consciously cross for the sake of each other (which is a good love story in itself), or if Jeremy's mysterious past will somehow help Jean see him as someone closer to him, someone who can understand where he comes from. If the gap stays in place, we'll probably have the different kinds of love Jean can feel toward a romantic partner who deeply cares for him, and for partners like Kevin and Neil who got their hands bloody just like Jean did.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Something I found really neat about Season 3 is that they have the mini arc where Adrien initially trusts Lila to eventually come around, but little by little she starts taking more and more advantage of how lenient he is - and when he notices how detrimental this is to Marinette, he calls Lila out himself. Despite the… writing blunders of Lila’s character, I found it kind of compelling.

Which makes me question why he’s more than happy to tolerate Chloé for almost two whole seasons more than Lila? I always found it odd, even if Chloé’s been his only friend for who knows how long, surely he would’ve noticed a pattern after Miracle Queen went down? I think Season 3 would’ve benefited from fleshing out only one of those stories and leaving the other for later, or cutting one of them entirely - it’s basically the same Adrien arc, with two different bully characters.

Me, I would fix it by having the Queen Bee matter stay in the air for most of Season 3, and Chat Noir specifically lending the bee - so the conflict doesn’t come from “Marinette NEEDS to break up the Adrigami date”, it’s an actual tough decision for him to make, and have him explain the situation to Chloé right in the season finale. Perhaps it’s too much of a shock, or Chat Noir’s too harsh, or Chloé feels lost without Pollen, or everyone else already drifted away from Chloé and she’s clinging to her Queen Bee identity only to have it snatched from her (which also goes with the theme of loss Miracle Queen wants to convey), literally anything that counts as a valid akumatization reason because “waaah Ladybug didn’t pick me” doesn’t do it for me.

Then the Lila thing, I’m still not fully sure, maybe I’d have Marinette be the lenient one that eventually realizes how much Lila’s affecting Adrien, and somehow puts a stop to it - maybe Lila’s being sympathetic to Marinette, and only really wants to use Adrien to her advantage, so Marinette lets Gabriel know after uncovering some particularly nasty stuff, and he cuts her out. Now Lila has a better (IMO) reason to start a rivalry with Marinette, Marinette can grow closer to the Agrestes even if just a little, Adrien has a good point of reference to realize Chloé’s being out of line (without writing the same arc for the same character twice), and you don’t have an explicit Lila & Gabriel alliance (which is great, because I always disliked that part of the plot - unnecessary extra complexity that only really takes away from every character involved IMO).

How would you model the two arcs?

My stance has pretty much always been that Chloe should have been Adrien's problem. Why make Marinette try to fix her bully when Adrien is right there with none of that baggage? I'm still baffled that they made Adrien and Chloe friends because that plot point went nowhere so why make it a thing? You don't introduce a juicy tidbit like "the female lead's bully is the male lead's only childhood friend" unless you're going to do something big with it!

There's a lot of ways you could take Adrien and Chloe, but no matter which path you pick, it should be used to set Adrien up to be more mentally ready to accept all the messed up elements of his home life when he finally grasps that he's a victim on multiple levels. It's much easier for him to learn those lessons of when to forgive and when to give second chances from a peer and not his parent who still has full power over him. I like this leading to a "redeemed" Chloe because I think you need an example of when to give a second chance to make the example of when to not give a second chance really pop, but that's just my preference. Chloe teaching Adrien how to set boundaries and cut someone off so that he can do that again on a much larger scale is also perfectly valid.

I think the Lila thing should have been used to develop Alya and Nino, not Marinette and Adrien. The show writes all the teen characters as pretty terrible at navigating or even identifying things like abuse. We see that in their constant love of confronting Gabriel, never once stopping to think, "Huh, will this actually be a good thing for Adrien or are we putting him in danger?"

You could include Marinette in this arc, too, but I think that she should take a backseat and let Alya and Nino take the lead since they're the ones who see Lila as a good person. Learning to be a little less trusting and a little more thoughtful is a good lesson for the way both of them have been characterized. Alya needs to learn to be a little less willing to trust sources and season-four-and-five Nino needs to learn to be a little more focused on the feelings of those around him over his own goals. Plus Marinette already has so much going on! The writers really need to let others have the spotlight for a bit so the poor girl can rest and stop looking terrible as the plot twists itself into a pretzel to always make her the one who needs to learn a lesson.

[purplesoulcollection]

Matchmaking Force

Unreciprocated affection.

That perfectly captures the captain's current state of mind.

My fellow Lofty troops and I, who have stood by the captain for quite some time, are well aware of his feelings for that woman.

She was once the captain's superior when he first entered the battlefield, and now she has risen to the rank of commander, surpassing him.

How do we know about the captain's feelings? Typically, his thoughts are quite unpredictable even for us the Lofty troops that had long sworn allegiance to him, right?

However, we can clearly see the change in his expression. The captain often appears stressed and in a foul mood because of war, but his face lights up when he talks to the commander. He becomes animated when discussing military matters and war strategies with her.

The captain thought no one knew about his feelings even when they could be seen very clearly.

At times, he seems to drift off into his own thoughts, trying to suppress a smile, but it’s no use; a smile breaks through whenever he thinks no one is watching.

These observations reveal the signs of the captain's unreciprocated affection, which seem to be growing stronger. We can’t help but feel sympathy for him, as his love remains unreturned.

In the past, the captain was in a state of confusion, attempting to avoid her, but now he has become bolder and wishes to approach her. Yet, he still holds back enough not to reveal his true feelings.

"Commander, do you have a moment to chat?"

As she spoke, the captain's familiar routine began again—attempting to assert himself but lacking the conviction to make it effective.

"What’s on your mind, Deon?" replied the woman, her expression perpetually stern and devoid of warmth.

"I have some confidential news from the kingdom." The captain revealed a letter adorned with the royal seal.

"Alright, step into my tent!"

It appeared that the captain was once more trying to initiate a private conversation with the commander.

His reasoning was plausible; indeed, a letter had arrived from the kingdom, and someone needed to share its contents with the commander.

However, it was unusual for a captain to be the one delivering such news. It seemed more like he was seeking an opportunity to get closer to her.

Otherwise, he would often resort to talking to himself like a lunatic when he lacked a legitimate reason to approach the commander.

Those of us observing his antics couldn't help but gossip, feeling a bit exasperated and hoping to play matchmaker if there was any spark between them.

"You just witnessed what happened, right? I mentioned that the Captain lacks experience when it comes to women, which is why he handles things in such a clumsy way. How can he even share his feelings with his clumsy attitude?" Someone voiced their frustration after seeing the Captain earlier, so frustrated.

We're currently taking a break after the recent conflict, and the sight of the Captain and Commander has sparked quite a bit of chatter among us.

"How could he possibly know how to approach girls when he was thrown into war before he even reached adolescence?"

Those words hit hard, bringing the discussion to a halt because they ring true.

"Isn't it usually women who enjoy gossip and romantic tales more than us older guys? Why are we the ones who seem to understand the situation better?"

"True, the Commander hasn't given any feedback yet. If he’s not interested in the Captain, he could just turn him down right away." That statement stirred up quite a debate.

"Hey, do you really think you can handle the fallout if the Captain gets heartbroken and something happens to him!?"

"Do you honestly believe the Captain is so fragile that he would crumble from rejection? He’s not that weak!"

"Let’s not speak ill of our leader behind his back. It’s unbecoming and not the behavior of a true knight!" I attempted to step in as the debate grew more intense and started to veer into unacceptable territory.

"Dame Lianne should be the one concerned. Aren't you frustrated by the captain's blatant behavior? You're a woman!"

"But right now, we’re facing war. Wouldn't sharing your feelings just create tension between them and hinder their ability to collaborate?"

"That mindset is too simplistic. Do you really think we have the luxury of time? We're at war, and one misstep could cost us our lives. We need to act in a way that we won't regret! The captain will surely regret it if he doesn't take action before it's too late!"

Cheers of agreement filled the air, signaling that those with logical minds could finally cease their debates, as they understood this situation was settled.

However, the celebration was short-lived when someone interjected, "But the captain is quite timid, especially given his current demeanor. If he faces rejection, he might become even more unhinged than usual, and we could end up being his victims without a second thought."

Just hearing that argument sent chills down everyone’s spine, as it painted a vivid and terrifying picture.

Before any rejection could occur, the captain had already instilled fear in his own troops with the way Deon executed his kills. Imagining Deon's escalating madness felt like stepping into a nightmarish realm.

Let's not get carried away with our thoughts. Right now, we have a captain who feels hopeless about sharing his feelings. If we don’t step in to help him, who knows how long he’ll continue to struggle in his interactions with the commander!

"Dame Lianne, you’re our only chance to find out how the commander feels about the captain!"

"Why should I get involved in a plan I don’t support?" I nearly shouted at my own fellow soldiers, losing my composure to fight the urge to beat whoever have the idea.

"You’re the only noblewoman among us. If you won’t do it, then who will? You’re the deputy captain!"

I wanted to push back against their request, but the eager looks from her teammates made her feel trapped, as if they were questioning her loyalty to Deon.

Feeling cornered and recalling her vow to act as long as it didn’t conflict with imperial orders, i finally relented and agreed.

"So what do you want to talk about, Dame Lianne?" The commander's sharp gaze probed every suspicious reaction of my body. I myself can't blame her because even though we are both nobles, I have never spoken to him alone due to differences in military status.

After I said yes earlier, I was literally pushed to meet the commander without further preparation, without me being able to prepare the conversation material first.

They don't know the burden of a woman who has to carry out a mission like this without warning first.

If the commander becomes suspicious of my motives, she might even think that it was the captain who ordered me to investigate her feelings or the worse she thinks that I'm a spy from the kingdom.

So I have to be careful like walking on a tightrope and not fall into suspicion.

"Did you know that the captain was hurt, Commander?"

The commander's puzzled expression was evident. Her usual calmness faltered for a moment before she regained her composure.

"Deon didn’t mention that during our conversation." she said that, trying to keep her voice steady, but her concern and sadness were hard to miss.

"True, but the captain is incredibly resilient and can withstand a lot of injuries. He feels the need to remain strong, especially since he’s seen as a hero. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to worry about him."

"Thank you for the update, Dame Lianne. I’ll check on him later."

Hearing that eased my mind, and I excused myself before the Lofty troops could bombard me with their impatient questions.

"Please, stop overwhelming me. The Commander looked anxious when I mentioned that the Master was hurt."

The puzzled expressions on the Lofty troops' faces only added to my frustration. They had urged me to investigate, yet now they seemed just as confused.

"You all told me to inquire without raising suspicion. If you don’t ask directly, then of course we’ll have to discuss something else."

The Lofty troops exchanged glances, searching for the right words, until one finally spoke up, "That’s not the issue, Dame Lianne. The captain isn’t injured. If you say he is, do we need to create an injury for him to avoid being caught in a lie?"

Ultimately, our expressions turned somber as we realized the gravity of the situation we had unintentionally caused. It seems we are in for a serious consequence for being caught in a web of lies and spreading misinformation.

We will not be sentenced to death, for sure. But there is a punishment worse than death, namely being severely beaten without being able to fight back.

The following day arrived, and a group of us gathered in silence, an uncomfortable and somber atmosphere surrounding us.

We kept our heads down, knowing our deceptions would soon be revealed, and the severe consequences looming over us dampened our spirits for the day ahead.

Yet, some had come to terms with the situation and attempted to lighten the mood with jokes and laughter about the fabrications I had spun.

"Hey, Dame Lianne! Your idea was actually pretty clever; if we had gone through with it, we would have faced immediate punishment!" one of the guys gave me a thumbs-up, signaling that I was on the right track.

"And you mentioned that the commander is worried, which means he must have some feelings for the captain."

"Even if we end up getting punished, if it helps their relationship, that’s a win, right, buddy?"

The once-muted cheers, stifled by fear, now filled the air, and I was taken aback by the shift in the men’s demeanor.

Ahem.

The sound of a cough made us all straighten up, our bodies rigid with attention.

Then we noticed the commander and captain together, holding hands.

Our eyes widened in surprise; their faces were flushed, perhaps they had overheard our earlier conversation.

"Dame Lianne, yesterday you intentionally…"

"Captain, Commander, are you two officially a couple now?"Lofty's troops immediately hugged Deon, disregarding the commander's inquiry directed at me.

They embraced Deon, causing him to reluctantly let go of the commander’s hand.

"At least, the captain has revealed his feelings!"

"This once small and delicate child has blossomed into an adult who is now in a relationship!"

"The captain was unaware of how thrilled we were to see him coming our way."

"Indeed, the captain isn't quite ready to approach women. Let me share how I used to approach my wife..."

The loud chatter of the crowd drowned out Deon's protests and his discomfort with his own troops' behavior.

"Dame Lianne…"

Facing the commander alone, I quickly offered my apologies.

"I'm sorry for deceiving you, commander. I'm ready to accept any punishment." I dropped my knees as a form of proof that I was guilty.

"That's alright, I'm not upset with you. You didn't do any harm. In fact, I'm quite relieved because of you."

"Relieved because of me?"

"I lack the courage to show Deon more attention. But I believe I need a little encouragement to express my feelings for him."

"Then may I ask what happened next after I left?" Commander looked away, trying not to answer my question even if i practically eyeing her as a hawk. I understand her concern that she is afraid that I will spread unpleasant gossip but i still the a knight who has loyalty.

"You can trust me with your secrets, commander. Besides, we are the only two female knights here, so I can certainly relate to your situation."

Her cheeks flushed as she leaned in closer and whispered with quiet voice. "He insisted that he wasn't injured, so I had to remove his clothing with force. That’s when he confessed he felt embarrassed because the person he liked saw his body that full with scars. I quickly reassured him, saying that I liked him too."

It appears that last night’s events were quite daring, and there seems to be an unspoken incident that followed.

However, neither the commander nor I delved deeper into that topic, as we were preoccupied with separating Deon from his troops, who

were starting to overwhelm him. Whatever unfolds next is beyond our concern; the loyal troops of both parties deserve happiness, even amidst the chaos of war.

The End

[mayzi33]

*clears throat.*

(apologize in advance for any mistakes english isn't my first language)

Alright. Here we go.

Look, I haven't watched MLP in a LONGGGG time. But recently with all the stuff I missed our and since the fandom is still pretty much alive and well I decided to take peek by peek in the seasons I haven't watched.

Until I came across, these guys

And I have so much to say.

I didn't write a script for this or anything so I don't know where this rambling is going so I just ask you to bear with me for as much as you can, okay?

Look, watching the Young Six episodes I've experienced one of the things that angers me the most. SUCH. WASTED. POTENTIAL.

You're telling me we got whatever the hell is G5 when instead we could have gotten THESE GUYS???? THESE COOL, UNIQUE CHARACTERS THAT ACTUALLY HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY THAT MAKES SENSE AND HAVE SI MUCH POTENTIAL TO BE ONE OF THE SICKEST LORE ARCS IN MLP???

I homestly don't know what Hasbro WAS THINKING in giving them so little screentime. There's so much I have to say but I'll try my best to keep my thoughts organized.

First things first, we'll need to talk a little about G5 or "Make Your Mark" series or whatever. I personally enjoyed the movie, though the story didn't make much sense (we'll get to that later) the characters were pretty nice, the songs were catchy and the animation was mwah. I didn't bother to watch all of the G5 series, because- (pardon to all who enjoy it) it's so. Freaking. Boring. Like I know there's a pony girl that's supposed to be a traitor among them but then grows onto being their actual friend and there's a villainess and that whole conflict and yada yada yada. But honestly there just isn't anything I found enganging in the entire thing. I can't explain it, it just feels- off. I know I probably don't have much right to talk, cause again, only now I'm diving into the mlp again after missing out A LOT, but I just can't bring myself to like that series.

Now, the whole School Of Friendship saga in the G4 series with our beloved Young Six, I know some people had some issues with it and it didn't please everyone, and while it does have some flaws and is certainly not perfect, you can't deny there was lots of potential. (I'll try to not overuse that word I'm sorry)

I personally, really liked the concept of different creatures from different cultures coming together and forming the perfectly diverse friend group. Episodes like The Hearth's Warming Club and What Lies Beneath were particuarly really fun, it was nice to dive into their cultures and backstories while also watching the six of them be vulnerable in front of one another and grow closer. If only they had more screentime and more deep episodes like that, they could have been in the top 10 found families in cartoons.

Now, just some other reasons as to why I think they're interesting characters and should've gotten more than what was given to them.

Because

1- Their whole deal is that they're not all ponies, that they're all different species. We get to learn lots about their different cultures and customs. It would've been such a good way to teach children about acceptance and respecting differences while also being entertaining. Especially in a school enviroment.

2- We got not one, but TWO male characters in the group. It would make little boys that are interested in mlp feel more comfortable and valid for it. AND those two males also have distinct personalities and their own active roles. Gallus being sort of the leader of the group, and Sandbar being the only pony therefore the one to stand up for his friends.

3- While they're supposed to be the new represantives of the elements of harmonies, their personalities are still interesting and different from the Mane 6.

Onto that, I really like how it's implied they could be the next helders (or whatever its called) of the elements of harmony. Given their special connection to the tree, how similiar they are to the previous groups (Mane 6 and The Pillars) and how Twilight LITERALLY LIFTED THEM UP AS WELL WHILE SHE SPOKE ABOUT HOW THE ELEMENTS WILL LIVE ON, it would've been such a cool concept.

Onto that, I wanna talk a bit about each of their characters too and how I think they could've been dealt with.

Gallus is the element of magic, but unlike Twilight who's all open and confident-spoken about friendship and all, Gallus is probably the one in the group that's the most closed-off and dislikes getting all cheesy. It would've been interesting seeing his development as the helder ot the element of magic. AND ESPECIALLY since he doesn't have magic in the first place, since Twilight and Starwirl were unicorns. So maybe he could make posions? Get powers someway else? Many posibilities

Sandbar is the element of kindness, but unlike Fluttershy he's extrovert and down to making friends. His overrall personality is that he's constantly very chill-going and nothing seems to ever upset or annoy him. So it also would've been interesting to see how that pattern would break, especially because of his element.

Yona is the element of honesty. She's probably the one that has the hardest time adapting to the Equestrians among the group, and even tried to act like a pony instead of herself one episode. It would've been interesting to see how her element of honesty reflects on how she should be true to herself, especially since her Yak culture comes a lot with honor.

Ocellus is the element of genority, yet, unlike Rarity, she's a lot more like Fluttershy, being timid and insecure, while also being smart and well-read like Twilight. It would've been nice if her development with her element would be gaining confidence in herself and being generous to others that way. Especially since she has a fear of being like the old changling queen (forgot her name) so imagine if she just turned out to be the opposite of her. Instead of selfish and cruel, being generous and kind.

Smolder is the element of loyality, but also like Gallus, she's also not into getting cheesy. But what I find imteresting about her is how she tries to keep her tough, agressive persona (since thats how dragons are) yet it is revealed she's actually interested in cute, fluffy stuff like tea parties and dresses. So it would've been cool to see her growing confident in admiting her interests, therefore being more like Rainbow Dash, who's always confident on herself

And last but not least, Silverstream is the element of laughter. But what's hooking about it is the fact that Silverstream herself probably hasn't KNOWN what laughter is for a long time, having to hide under The Storm King's rule. She's very talkctive, creative and extrovert, like Pinkie Pie, but she also has her trauma that haunts and intimidates her, unlike Pinkie who usually faces her fears headfront. Another great development story.

So just hear me out, okay. I don't care if MLP is over. I don't care if there's G5.

We. Need. A. Young. Six. Spin-off. Series.

I know it sounds crazy, but I genuely think this idea could work out if it was handled well enough, and Hasbro could make some good money out of this.

Just bear with me. A spin-off series set on the timeline between season 8-9 aka, still on the School Of Friendship, focused entirely on the Young Six. We could still get the Mane 6, of course, but mostly as support characters. It doesn't have to be a particularly long series, (though maybe that could work as well IF handled with enough care) maybe just 2 seasons or so. And I'm not thinking like a slice-of-life or fun little extra kind of thing, I'm thinking of ACTUAL lore. Just more about how the tree and the elements work, and how these six students could grow into being their new helders. In each episode it becomes more and more evident to them and the Mane 6 themselves that they're going to be the next generation of the elements. So imagine once they all fully it figure out and talk about it, the Y6 suddenly feel this pressure about how they're supposed to live up to their teachers and fear that they have to be EXACTLY like them. So we see Sandbar taking extra kindness classes with Fluttershy, Yona taking extra honesty classes with Applejack and heck even Gallus is taking studies more seriously (especially since he's supposed to be the element of magic which again I find imteresting since he doesn't really have magic at least not the way Twilight and Starwirl do. ) So we could have an entire episode about the M6 getting through to them and showing they don't have to be JUST LIKE THEM nor The Pillars. They can be their own people.

Another main-plot idea would be having more villains, probably trying to test them or tear them apart (cough cough like Swift Foot from the idw comics cough cough) or maybe you could even fit someone as intense as King Sombra, or maybe even even the return of Tirek, Cozy Glow and Chrysalis in there. (I remembered her name yay)

And, of course, more onto their characters, flaws, backstories and cultures! I would love to see more about their people and customs, just as much as I would love to explore their traumas, fears, ugly sides and how they overcome it together (cough cough found family COUGH COUGH GAGS)

And another thing, I especially would've liked to explore Yona's and Sandbar's relantioship.

I MEAN LOOK AT THEM-

Don't they give massive beauty-and-the-beast vibes? I love how their colors and body types contrast with one and another, and their personalities aswell. Yona being loud, cheerful and clumsy while Sandbar is calm, thoughtful and carefree. I just love the big girl x soooorta small guy vibes and I especially loved how gentle and reassuring Sandbar was towards her in that episode. I mean, "I don't care if you're not a pony, you're the best Yona I know." SERIOUSLY? WHO WROTE THAT LINE? I'D LIKE TO GIVE THEM A HUG. And also, onto the spin-off series matter, it would also be a cool topic to explore. Imagine if some ponies/yaks are judging them for having a relantioship while being different species and they learn to ignore them and live past that??? I usually don't care much for romance, (always prefered friendship and found families) but this would've been a nice little arc and episode theme to see.

Lastly, (I'm almost done I promise) to the more technical/economical part.

Like I said in the beggining, I genuely think Hasbro could make some good money out of this. Firstly because it will be using the G4 characters and lore and not...whatever mess of a plot G5 is.

And secondly because, if they took the time to give them some cool power-up designs like they did with the Mane 6, I'M SURE the toys would sell.

I mean- JUST LOOK AT THESE COOL DESIGNS I FOUND ON THE INTERNET?? (not mine, credits to whoever made it, you ate that)

DON'T THEY LOOK LIKE A TOY SET THAT WOULD CATCH THE CHILDREN'S EYES ON THE TOY AISLE? OH YES I THINK THEY WOULD.

And if anything, they could be as bold as to make an extra Equestria Girls (well, girls and boys) series with them. I know it sounds kinda dumb, especially given the fact that I'm not sure about how that would work given that when Spike went to the "human dimension" or whatever he turned to a dog... So Smolder would also be a dog? Sandbar would be the only actual human in the group?... BUT I'm sure they could come up with some excuse to make it work. Give them some cool, colorful outfits for different events and I'm sure it would sell. And ESPECIALLY since with Gallus and Sandbar in the group, it could get the attetion of young boys aswell.

Anyways. That was it.

Uhm. Conclusion: Hasbro should hire me. I know what I'm talking about. I think. At least a bit.

And I genuely think this could work if only SOMEONE gave it the time and care.

I don't know how to end ramblings so uhmmmm thank you all for coming to my pep talk.

They deserved better.

[maochira]

Until the mirror breaks. [Part 2]

[Part 1], [Part 3], [Part 4]

Synopsis: Sae is about to return to Spain, but before he does, he wants to talk to Rin about the way he views their youngest sibling.

Tags: gn!youngest sibling!reader, overprotective and slightly possessive Rin, angst, a crumb of comfort, reader was born shortly before Sae went to Spain

Itoshi sibling masterlist

It's Sae's last day before he returns to Spain. During his time at home, he was forced into "bonding time" with you over and over.

But it wasn't enjoyable a single time. Maybe because Sae just doesn't feel any connection towards you, or maybe because Rin would always be near to observe.

Because of what happened during your first "bonding time" with Sae, Rin lost his trust in the older brother when it comes to taking care of you. That's why he always needed to be near if it was Sae's turn to spend time with you.

Sae never commented on it, he never addressed it either. To avoid further conflict with Rin, he decided to ignore it. Sae was even glad whenever you decided you wanted to spend time with Rin instead.

Because Sae still doesn't care for you. Or does he?

The things Rin had said, about how you're going to be the next prodigy, keep repeating in Sae's brain. He keeps picturing you but in his position. And even if he doesn't realize it, Sae feels worried about you. He knows how much pressure all the attention at a young age can put on someone. In his eyes, you're still so small and fragile, especially since he saw the soccer ball hitting your face.

But it's not like he has a say in anything happening to you anyways. In ten minutes, he'll drive to the airport and return to Spain. And that's when he'll forget about you again. At least that's what he thinks.

And for the next few minutes, Sae keeps debating with himself if he should say bye to you and Rin, or if he should leave without a word. After all, he's currently not on the best terms with Rin.

Still a little hesitant about his decision, Sae walks through the hallway towards Rin's room and knocks at the door.

Rin knows it's Sae, so he doesn't respond. He knows his parents' knocking sounds different.

Sae knocks again, and this time he just opens the door without getting his younger brother's permission.

"What are you doing here?" Rin doesn't even look at Sae.

"I'm leaving in five minutes. I wanted to say bye." Sae reminds standing in the doorframe for the moment.

"Bye." Rin responds coldly. "Now leave."

"Before I do," Sae take a step into the room, which makes Rin look at him, "Don't put so much pressure on (Y/N)."

"I'm not putting pressure on them." Rin is already getting angry at Sae, but is trying to not show that in his voice. He doesn't want to show any emotion towards Sae, instead, he wants to only show coldness.

"You literally said they're going to be the next prodigy." Sae points out as he takes another step towards Rin.

"That's not putting pressure on them, that's literally a fact. I know they'll be as good as me one day and we'll beat you together."

Sae lets out a frustrated sigh. "Can you push the part about beating me aside for a moment?"

Rin's gaze at Sae gets colder than it's ever been. "You're the one who left our dream behind, so (Y/N) will be the one joining me on that dream instead."

"Rin, listen-"

Rin interrupts Sae without a care. "They'll be as great as me, I know it."

With everything Rin says, Sae grows more and more frustrated on the inside, but his tone of speaking is as calm as always. "Like you? What do you think (Y/N) is? A mirror?"

"Excuse me?" Rin gets up from his chair where he was sitting until now and walks closer to the older brother.

"(Y/N) isn't a mirror for you to reflect yourself in. If you want to beat me, go ahead and try. But don't pull the little one into what's between us."

"You have no idea about (Y/N), don't act like you're better because you're the oldest brother. You-"

"I have to leave now." Sae simply interrupts Rin. "Bye."

Sae turns around and walks away. Rin keeps standing in the same spot until he hears the front door close.

Rin is angry. In his point of view, Sae acts like a know-it-all who has a say about you, only because he's the oldest brother. But Rin knows you better. You're going to be the next prodigy, and you're going to be better than Sae.

At least that's what Rin thinks.

He tries to push the thoughts about Sae away. He's gone now and he won't be visiting home for some more time. Rin gets to have you all for himself again now, and he doesn't even have to worry about you getting injured because of Sae being careless around you again.

Rin decides to go to your room, where you're lying in your bed for your afternoon nap. Rin sits down at the edge of your bed and gently picks you up in his arms. You wake up very quickly from this and look up at your big brother.

The sight of your sleepy cute eyes makes Rin's heart melt. The anger he just felt towards Sae disappears in only a few seconds.

"Big meanie Sae is gone again." Rin strokes your hair as he speaks to you in a soft voice. "It's only you and me again, alright?"

You knew Sae would be leaving at some point. You knew he wouldn't stay at home permanently. But knowing you didn't get to say goodbye makes you sad. Despite how much closer you are to Rin, and how badly Rin has talked about Sae ever since the incident when you got hit with the ball, you like Sae a lot.

The way you like Sae can't be described with the word "love", as there was too little time spent with him to develop that. But also the way Rin talks about Sae has made you unsure if it's okay to love your oldest brother.

That doesn't matter anymore now, tho. Sae is gone again. As much as not saying goodbye upsets you, the comfort of being in Rin's arms makes it okay.

Rin is happy that now he gets to be the oldest brother again. His job is to protect you and help you reach the goals he's set for you, that's what he's sure about, no matter what Sae told him a few minutes ago.

But can this really go well in the long run?

In the meantime, Sae is in the taxi, driving to the airport. And just then he notices in his frustration about Rin's behaviour, he forgot to say bye to you. It causes a mild pressure in his chest that no amount of calm breathing can make disappear.

It's regret.

[mksbigg3stfan]

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MCSM Ship Dynamics

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(Just how I think different MCSM ships would work + my overall thoughts and opinons on them !!!

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Jesse x Lukas

Jesse and Lukas are like the bread and butter of MCSM ships, very basic but beloved for their closeness and banter. Jesse, no matter which route you take or choices you make, is a more extroverted character that is a strong leader. Generally, Jesse cares very much about their friends and is a pretty friendly person. It's mostly up to how the person individually perceives Jesse, but the most common interpretation of Jesse I've seen in Jesskas is that Jesse learns to admire Lukas as they travel together. Lukas usually falls for them as well, but in the "He fell first they fell harder" kind of way, lukas being the former.

I've also seen some interpretations of Jesse having a little crush on Lukas at the beginning of MCSM because they think he's cool. Overall, I think Jesskas would be a pretty healthy ship.

The two of them admire each other, and they accentuate each other's strengths well! Jesse got Lukas out of his shell and pushed him to improve, and Lukas hyped Jesse up and helped them grow into the hero they were in season 2.

Lukas as a character in season 1 doesn't exactly have confidence. Though he does have faith in some of his own strengths, and is the most likely character out of Olivia, Axel, and Jesse to disagree with Jesse, he still is always trying to keep people happy and try to keep conflict to a minimum. Not being an aggressive character doesn't mean he won't stand up for himself when needed, though. Even though Lukas wasn't exactly the leader of the Ocelots, they still sort of listened to him and considered his opinions in a way, so Lukas could probably hold his own on Aiden in an argument. The reason Lukas didn't argue with them as much was most likely because he believed that the Ocelots could change, but when he was proven wrong the arguments became more frequent and he got kicked out.

Jesse and Lukas in season 2 are very clearly closer, and it seems like they'd been hanging out a lot more before everyone became too busy to see each other more often. Still, in season 2, Lukas is belittled by Romeo, who brings up his old insecurities. He sees through Romeo's disguise because he and Jesse always lift each other up and encourage the other to improve. Lukas also seems to be a character that would show affection through words - like cheering people on or subtle physical affection - like a high five and the ever so often hug. Jesse, Olivia, and Axel definitely have become his safe place after the Ocelots kicked him out.

The only real critisism I can think of for Jesskas is that there was a lot of mischaracterization of Lukas in the past, and still some in the present, along with it kind of overshadowing a lot of other characters and ships.

Jesskas is very overdone, but there's nothing wrong with that! It's cute, albeit very basic. I don't really ship it, but I see where people are coming from, and it has the potential to be very cute!

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Jesse x Petra

Again, Jesse and Petra are a pretty basic, bread and jam type of ship. It's a little more complex than Lukas and Jesse, but not by much honestly. Petra is also a bit of a cool girl archetype, someone who's generally closed off from other people and doesn't like showing weakness due to fear of being seen as just that - weak. Only her weaknesses. She has trouble staying in one place for long or getting attached to things, but when she does, Petra holds on tight. While Lukas is just about as extroverted as Jesse, Petra is more introverted and selfish. She looks out for herself.

It's difficult to pin a characer for Jesse since, honestly, the different routes and such make it seem like every person who plays MCSM will get their own individual Jesse character. Also, because of lacking writing, which makes Jesse kind of has the amount of character of a peanut shell most of the time ... but I guess that again, that makes Jesse's character mostly up to individual interpretation. With Jesstra, I've noticed people seem to pin Jessie as a person that likes physical affection, so them and Petra tend to bond over fighting and sparring.

Petra is probably mostly averse to physical affection and touch - she seems more like someone who would do acts of service, being a mercenary and all. Jesstra seems like a ship where they would be sparring and flirt with each other through complimenting each other's moves + lovingly beating the shit out of each other. In a healthy way, though! After sparring, I think they would take care of any bruises or harm that was caused together.

When Petra was super closed off and mysterious, Jesse was the one to get her to start talking to more people. They were one of Petra's first really close friends, and that meant a lot to her. They were also the one that forced Petra to realize she couldn't stay stagnant forever and expect things to never change. She had to grow up and move on.

I can see the appeal with their compiments and banter during fights and sparring, as well as Jesse leaving Beacontown at the end of season 2 to go travel the world with Petra. A very healthy ship as well!

To be honest, we really need more focus on the smaller sapphic and wlw ships in the MCSM fandom, in my opinion. This ship probably is the gateway a lot of people get into those through, so I thank it very much for that. Not only that, but it's a pretty cute ship! Again, I don't exactly ship it, I don't really ship anyone with Jesse because I don't find Jesse that interesting.

As for faults with this ship, from what I've seen, the characterization of Petra is pretty good, but because Jesse is a lot less complex in comparison to her, it feels kind of empty on one side.

Anyways, I can definitely see where you guys are coming from! I personally do love dynamics like this one, so I think it's pretty good!

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Jack x Nurm

Boy, oh boy, old man yaoi !! (just jokes, guys, please don't kill me). While Nurm speaks in villager, Jack is able to understand him completely fine. They both seem to have a very deep understanding of each other anyway. They give the vibes of adventurer husbands who traveled the world together in their youth. By now, they're pretty much done with adventuring and want to settle down together and live in peace. And they deserve it!

You can tell just by hearing them talk that they've spent many an adventure together, fighting alongside the other and tending to each other's wounds. If they have any child relatives, I'm sure they'll be the favorite relative just for the sheer amount of cool stories they can tell.

Jack has a lot of respect for Nurm as a cartographer, and Nurm respects Jack's physical strength. Nurm is probably more the brains of the two, more quick witted and smart. The only thing is, Jack is one of the only people who can really understand him. That probably got them to be much closer than any of their other party members, anyways.

Also, not to mention, they live together. They are married guys trust me. (You don't have to take that serious dw) The only thing I could possibly think of as critisism is that it's kind of weird that Nurm is a villagerx but he's proven that he's just as intelligent as any player, so it's fine. Besides, it seems like people have universally accepted that they are married or in love, at least, from what I've seen.

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((If you want me to talk about a specific ship, you can just ask !!! ( ´∀｀ )b))

Never feel scared to ask me anything !! I live when people send asks, or just interact with me in any way at all BSNANDND

[stars-and-inkpots]

Psychopomp

You are kind. You are good. You trust him. Astarion hates it.

Pairing: Astarion/reader

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, cuddling, Astarion-centric, mentions of Astarion's past abuse

Notes: Title is from Hozier's song Abstract (Psychopomp), a song I associate with Astarion a lot and have a lot of feelings about.

Ao3 Link: Psychopomp

Two hundred years. 

Two hundred years can change a lot about the way you think about the world. Two hundred years under the control of the most vile man- no, monster was a better word- in Baldur’s Gate. Two hundred years where he had no control, no agency, and no one to save him. 

Even so-called “heroes” that would consider intervening if they knew, Astarion knows that they would only see him as a vampire spawn. He would be killed, along with all the others- no different than Cazador. It didn’t matter if he didn’t want to do any of the terrible things that Cazador made him do, it didn’t matter if he was physically incapable of refusing. To the only people who could help him, he was just another monster. 

The nautiloid, the tadpole, everything that happened after, it was some sort of cruel joke. He could walk in the sun again, his mind was his own, he could finally be free… but he was at constant risk of turning into some disgusting, tentacled horror under the control of yet another monster. How ironic. 

Gods, life wasn’t fair. 

Nothing in life was fair. 

Two hundred years. 

Then there was you. You, who was so ready to help him even after just meeting him- even after he held a knife to your throat. You, who continued to help everyone that you met and expected nothing in return. 

You infuriated him. 

How could someone like you exist? Everything that he had gone through, everything he had endured until now, all of it proved to him that good people don’t exist. Heroes- true heroes who saved people for the sake of saving them- couldn’t exist, because if they did then why was no one ever there to save him ? Why would he meet one now, after he had already gone through so much? 

Watching you save stranger after stranger, turning down their offerings of coin as a reward, it made him sick to his stomach. 

And you’re kind to him. 

Even after finding out he’s a vampire, you still treat him the same way you treat the others. You even let him feed from you when he needs it, a generosity he thought impossible for a vast collection of reasons. You trust him. 

You are kind. You are good. You trust him. 

Astarion hates it. 

Astarion figured that you would eventually outgrow the naive hope you had for the world. He figured that soon enough, after witnessing all the horrors this world had to offer, that you would grow cynical and jaded just like the rest of them. 

But you didn’t. Even now, spending what could be your final night in camp, you had the gall to smile. You continued to shine that insufferable light despite the suffocating darkness of the shadow curse that plagued the land around you. 

And the worst part of it all, was that he realised he wanted to share that optimism. You made him want to believe there could be light in the world. You made him hope . 

Being back in Baldur’s Gate brought on a lot of conflicting feelings for Astarion. On one hand, he was relieved to be back inside the walls of a city, one he would even be bold enough to call home. On another, he was closer to Cazador again… and the city was sitting overtop a volatile Elder Brain. 

Regardless of the unseen threats, you continued to help people while the group travelled through the city. Even before the city, you did what you could for the refugees who couldn’t get inside. Astarion noticed that the sight of you talking with the children and handing a sizable amount of your own supplies over to their parents didn’t seem to inspire the same distaste as it would have a month ago. 

Sitting on a bed in the Elfsong Tavern, a welcome change to the admittedly uncomfortable bedroll he’s grown accustomed to over the course of your travels together, Astarion finally admits to himself that maybe you’ve grown on him in a way he doesn’t fully want to acknowledge because it scares him. You’ve changed him, and not in a way that's entirely unwelcome. He cares about you. He trusts you. Both things he hasn’t felt for someone in a long time. 

That’s why he finds himself standing outside your door. It’s late, and he knows that you’re likely already sleeping, but he has to at least try and talk to you now before he loses his nerve. 

Astarion knocks lightly, almost hoping you won’t hear it. 

Of course, you do. 

“Astarion? Is everything alright?” You ask, voice thick with concern. You look softer in the low light, gentle shadows cast across the room from the lamp burning on the bedside table. Without your armour, you look even more open, at ease, a look Astarion thinks suits you well. 

“Can we talk?” 

“Of course, come in.” You open the door wider for him, stepping aside to let him in before closing it quietly behind you. “What’s troubling you?” 

Astarion sits on the bed, staring at the ground. You continue to hover near the door, unsure of just how much comfort he wants. He’s silent for a while, but you’re more than okay to wait. 

“When I first met you, you irritated me to no end.” 

The admission doesn’t exactly surprise you. There were many times where Astarion had voiced his concerns about your actions, especially the ones that served no benefit to yourself. He didn’t like helping people the way you did, but you were stubborn. Of course that created some friction. You wait for him to continue his thoughts. 

“You’re nice to people, even people who don’t deserve it. You help people for no reason. You do so much and expect nothing for it- you turn down money when it is offered. Everything you do confuses me. I hated you for a time, because you were the first person I’ve ever met who was truly good.” Astarion still hasn’t looked at you. You move closer, sitting beside him on the bed. Even though the confession confuses you, you let him continue uninterrupted. “I thought people like you didn’t exist. I spent two hundred years learning that the world was only full of selfish people who wouldn’t hesitate to do anything they needed to get ahead. That there were victims, and there were monsters, and you could never escape being one or the other. But then I met you.” 

Astarion finally looks at you. He looks physically pained. You reach out and rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, happy when he leans into the touch and sighs. 

“I had a plan, you know. I was going to seduce you, make myself indispensable to you. I thought that the sex would make you want to keep me around. But every time the opportunity arose, I couldn’t do it. I spent two hundred years luring people back for him ; making them trust me, but I couldn’t manipulate you like that. I was worried for the longest time. I kept telling myself I had to make a move soon or else you wouldn’t want to keep me around, but you did. You protected me time and time again because you wanted to. You want to go kill Cazador because you want to help me. You want to keep me safe. I haven’t done anything for you. Do you know how infuriating that is?” 

You don’t quite understand. It almost hurts to think that Astarion thinks you need a reason to care about him. 

“Astarion, I don’t help people because I want the fame or the rewards. I don’t help people just so they might help me. I help them because it feels right. If there’s something I can do, then why would I not do it?” You pause, watching as Astarion’s eyes turn back to the floor. “I’m sorry that no one was there to help you before. You deserved kindness then, just as you deserve it now.” 

Astarion’s shoulder tenses under your hand. 

You know why your selflessness angers him, because you share a similar sentiment. You mourn those you couldn’t save; the people who died alone and scared. In a world like this, it was difficult to find reason in your actions. But even if only you could make the difference, then you would continue to do so. But gods, it was exhausting some days. 

For a moment you worry that you’ve misspoke. Then Astarion speaks up again. 

“Thank you.” He’s quiet when he says it, voice nearly threatening to break. 

You move to hug him, hesitating to give him time to move out of the embrace if he wants to, but he doesn’t. He wraps his arms around you tightly, clutching the fabric of your shirt behind you. He holds you like he’s scared you’ll disappear entirely. You bring a hand to his hair, running your fingers through it, and the tenderness makes Astarion almost sob. 

“I care about you, Astarion. That will never change,” you promise. 

He can’t say everything he wants to yet, but you know him well enough to know he means it all the same. 

The two of you end up laying down together, still holding each other, Astarion’s head tucked safely under your chin. It’s the first time he’s ever laid in bed with no expectations of anything other than this. It’s new, it’s daunting, but it’s with you. 

He’s with you and he feels safe. 

And that’s all that matters for now.

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Brain-tickling questions 🫡 (and some thoughts) on the sweetly deranged: the prequel aka the torture-buddies to lovers progression:

How did she get to be a servant of Morgoth exactly? What did it take from capturing her to making her serve him as a healer? (I would also liked to explore sometime how Melkor made Mairon sway to serve him - you could also go there, him sharing his reasons/story when they get closer)

How did she gain Sauron’s trust? (And he hers?) I assume it would take more than just healing him…

Quiet moments between them? First? - conversation, moment of trust/bonding, kiss…

She is watching him turn darker and darker by the treatment of Morgoth and the things he does in his name. How would she react? How would it affect them?

I’m not sure about the timeline… (Like in general with all the canon and show stuff but anyway…) Melkor was defeated and locked up for a while… Did our sweetly deranged meet before this??? (I would assume bc of it would be integral to the story how Mairon chanced to Sauron, right?) So if they were together before Melkor was defeated then what happened to them in the time they were free of him? Why would they go back to serving him???

Their “wedding”? How long did it take to get there? Why did they go that far to make a bond and whose idea was it?

What happened after Morgoth was defeated? (Sauron is supposedly regretful but to shameful/prideful to go back to Valinor but tries to turn to good for a while)

And at last (for now 🙈)… What happened to her when Sauron was killed by Adar? Where was she then and what happened to her for like that 1000 years until they met again?

Oh wow this is a lot to think about. I’ve read the Silmarillion but I still feel like I know so little about Morgoth and Sauron and exactly how they were together. There was nothing about Morgoth torturing Sauron as far as I remember (correct me if I’m wrong) so if not for that tidbit of information in the show my mind wouldn’t have gone to ‘torture-buddied to lovers’ in the first place.

I honestly don’t have answers to all these questions at the moment (and those that I do have might change in the future) but off the top of my head, here’s what I have in mind:

Warning: evil!reader, mentions of torture and fucked up dynamics below the cut:

They met after Mairon ‘fell from grace’, around the time he was talking about in the show—when Morgoth was torturing him in punishment? as an experiment? anyway, when Sauron was maybe growing disillusioned with Morgoth/starting to regret joining him, but it was too late. Reader was also in a situation of helplessness and in need of some way of coping with being imprisoned by Morgoth, so with time they kind of started to cling to each other, each seeing some kind of hope for escape in the other, if not physical then at least spiritual. And in my mind there is also an element of the reader’s own inner darkness finding a match in Sauron’s, I don’t imagine she was this perfectly innocent Elf maiden who never did anything wrong in her life. Maybe she was part of the kinslaying between Elves and did repent but always carried some resentment from those conflicts within her, or a dark secret of what she did to save herself/her family. Her descent into full evil is a blend between there was always the potential for it, and then she went a little insane to cope with the insanity thrust upon her.

Their relationship was a secret at first, because they knew Morgoth would be furious when he found out. Maybe that is part of the reason why they decided to bind themselves to each other the way they did. They were afraid Morgoth would try to tear them apart if he knew Sauron was more loyal to her than to his master, so they wanted to ensure they could still feel each other even if they weren’t physically together. Not to mention Sauron wanted to make her stronger by sharing some of his abilities with her, to further protect her from Morgoth’s wrath if need be.

But maybe that’s exactly what backfires, because the moment Sauron binds his soul to hers, Morgoth senses through his power what his servant has done. It’s too late now to kill her, however, since that would mean losing Sauron (not to death necessarily, but he would, like I hinted at in the fics, lose it mentally if she died, and vice versa). So he exploits their bond instead, threatening each with the other’s suffering unless they serve him well, only letting them be together physically as a hard-earned ‘reward’ (just angst all around). So maybe that answers your question of why they would continue/resume serving him past a point where maybe they could have stopped. He simply finds a way to trap them again and instead of tormenting them separately, he torments each of them to keep the other in line.

I hadn’t considered the bit about Sauron being too prideful to return to Valinor before, but now that I do here’s a thought: maybe in this version where he has reader he does, or at least he communicates with the Valar regarding a possible pardon. And they would grant him this pardon, but only if he accepts a punishment that matches the gravity of all his crimes—and that punishment is to undo his bond with reader and part ways with her forever. Which is cruel for the reader as well, but like I mentioned, she is not exactly averse to dark deeds as long as they serve hers and Sauron’s agenda. The Valar know they have the best chance of ‘falling back into sin’ if they stay together, and that’s also when they are at their most dangerous, so this is the Valar’s way of trying to prevent that. Of course, Sauron and reader refuse. (Note: the bond isn’t something Sauron and reader can undo as simply as you would get a divorce. It would require the intervention of the Valar, but, at the same time, the Valar cannot undo this bond without Sauron and reader being willing, or at least surrendering to it happening.)

Now that I think about it, this works nicely as a broader context for reader’s line in Defied, about how she and Sauron would have been content to simply be together after Morgoth was defeated, but they realized in order to be free to be together they would have to be the ones in control of everything, because otherwise some power will always try to get in between them.

I wondered myself where reader was when Sauron was killed by Adar🤣 All I know for now is she wasn’t there at the time, but she felt it happening from afar and it was... basically like dying herself. For a while, she might have even believed Sauron was truly gone, but in the end she could feel, even if very faintly, that the bond was still there and that with time... even if it’s a very long time... they will be reunited. Eventually she decides to establish herself within the Elven community so that when Sauron returns they have some leverage over them. And since he was experimenting with creating an object with ‘power over flesh’ to rival the Silmarils before Adar killed him, where best to establish herself than at the side of Fëanor’s descendant, Celebrimbor? It’s a guessing game at this point, but it’s likely that his skill will come in handy in the future. Call it a gut feeling.

So, yeah, if you pick my brain right now, that’s all there is. I’ll likely stick to writing reader into canon or at least in very canon-adjacent contexts cause those are just the scenes I can see the most clearly in my head. I do like messing around with these little headcanons though, so thanks for giving me a chance to rant about it a bit😘

[justanenderman]

Memories of a Life Never Lived

A spark burst from the faulty wiring that hung down from the ceiling above Fiddleford’s head. He felt the bite of the spark on the nape of his neck.

He brushed it away, the sensation only breaking his focus momentarily.

He was too focused on recalibrating his memory device meant to erase and rearrange memories.

It didn’t quite work yet. He had tested it out on a few gnomes in the area. It turned the gnomes feral and initiated a hostile attack.

It had been four months since he’d left Palo Alto. He hadn’t seen his wife Emma-May or his son Tate in that span of time. He would call them daily, of course, but it wasn’t the same as seeing them in person.

He could always leave. The reason he was in that backwoods town was now a fleeting effort.

The portal wasn’t working. His lab partner Stanford was still in denial that it wasn’t. He begged Fiddleford to stay and help. But Fiddleford wasn’t sure if any of it was worth it.

And even worse - Fiddleford had found himself getting sentimental over Stanford. He hesitated to leave, but not because of the project. He would miss Stanford if he left.

It was conflicting. He wanted to see his family again, but he also didn’t want to disappoint Ford.

There was also a confusing sensation that rushed through him whenever Ford got too close. It was a magnetic force that wanted him to get closer. Fiddleford had never thought he would experience attraction to a man - but this wasn’t just emotional. It was a physical pull, much like the moon and the Earth’s tides.

Was it romantic? He was unsure. It could be a result from being stuck underground in a lab for nearly half a year. It could be from the desperate need to hold his wife again.

But whatever it was, he was sure that Ford didn’t feel the same way in return. He was odd. He didn’t seem to have any ability to feel anything but determination.

There were a lot of things Fiddleford despised about Ford. He had a tendency of making very poor decisions that put both of their lives at risk. He always attracted some sort of peril everywhere they went.

And lately, he had an obsession with the demonic. That was what made Fiddleford feel uneasy.

Despite everything, though, he stayed. He worked in that lab for hours and slept in a spare bedroom inside of Ford’s house. He was sure he had some form of radiation poisoning from the portal they had been constructing all those months. But if he were to finish it, he would be the most acclaimed genius for centuries. He’d be bigger than Einstein, Tesla, even Socrates.

He wanted to be a man that Tate could be proud of.

Once he had adjusted the dial on the memory gun, he made sure to reload the canister in the gauge so he could test it on the gnomes again.

But when he stood up to head into the woods, he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

Usually Fiddleford could identify Ford’s footsteps. They were heavy, slow and had a consistent pace down each step.

But these sounded different. They were quicker and had no rhythm. It sounded as if he was jumping down each step.

But sure enough, Ford entered the lab with a smile on his face.

It was dark in the lab, so it was hard to tell exactly what he was feeling.

Fiddleford hid the ray behind his back. He didn’t want Ford to know he was working on it again.

“Ah, hello Stanford…I didn’t know you’d be back here so soon,” he said, referring to Ford claiming he would be exploring caves in the woods on his own.

Ford approached him, “It began to storm. I figured it would be safer down here, with you.” he replied. He was barely audible. His voice was soft and low.

Fiddleford tucked the memory ray into his waistband behind his back. He stepped away towards his desk.

“Oh, a storm? Then, yes, I suppose it is safer down here.” he said with a nervous chuckle.

Ford got even closer, “I bet you had a lot of severe storms growing up in Tennessee, huh? Like in Wizard of Oz. That was in Tennessee, right?” he asked, still hardly speaking above a whisper.

“Kansas, actually…” he felt Ford’s hands grab onto his waist and push him backwards into the desk. His breath escaped his lungs with his voice. The end of his vocals cracked into a high-pitched noise.

Fiddleford gasped, startled and worried Ford was going to find the memory ray. He reached behind him and tried to grab it, but Ford took his hand.

“I know what you’ve been hiding from me,” he said.

“Y-You…you do?” Fiddleford croaked. His forehead was covered in beads of sweat and his stomach turned. He wasn’t sure how Ford would react if he confessed.

“Yes…” Ford took a hold of his shirt collar and backed him into the wall.

He flinched, “Okay, I-I know I said I wasn’t going to work on it anymore, b-but you don’t understand! This could have a big impact on-“ Fiddleford’s running thoughts were cut short when Ford grabbed his face and pressed his lips against his own.

Fiddleford’s first instinct was to pull away, but he was frozen. He hummed in surprise against Ford’s mouth and couldn’t think of what to do.

The sensation was something he craved. He hadn’t realized how much he missed this.

He grabbed onto Ford’s shoulders and leaned into the kiss. Ford’s lips were cold and tasted of something wooden. They were dry, but it didn’t matter to Fiddleford.

His mind still raced, but with new thoughts.

Why was Ford doing this? And why did he like it? Was he really so desperate for affection that he’d kiss his own colleague?

Then, there was something more. Another layer that sent a rush of nerves and excitement through Fiddleford.

As they’d kept their lips together, Ford yanked at Fiddleford’s trench coat and pulled it off. Underneath was his polo. Ford undid the buttons on it.

Fiddleford didn’t resist. He inhaled sharply with each touch. He became lost and dazed in his feelings and forgot who he had been married to. He forgot at that moment that this was not his wife. It didn’t register that this was his professional work partner…a former classmate. All he wanted was to be touched by someone. He needed it.

But something in the back of his mind told him that something felt wrong.

Ford’s skin was very hot to the touch. His face, his arms, his chest. It felt like he had a very high fever.

Then, there was the fact that his voice was off. His whispers sounded strained and raspy. It was not as he sounded that morning.

Then, the realization struck him and his heart immediately skipped a beat.

Oh…oh, God!!!

Immediately he tore himself away from Ford’s face and looked into his eyes. They were shielded beneath his glasses, which had a tint in the lenses.

Fiddleford took them off and his fears were confirmed.

The whites of Ford’s eyes were a neon yellow color. The waterline was irritated and red. His pupils were stretched into thin, cat-like slits.

He knew what was wrong.

The demonic “muse” Ford had been conspiring with had taken over his body.

Fiddleford exclaimed in surprise and pushed the body away from him. It was heavier than usual.

“No! No! Oh, my god!” Fiddleford cried, clutching his chest and trying not to faint from terror. He grabbed the nearest sharp object and started swinging at the demon.

“Don’t come near me! Stay away! Y-you goddamn…hellspawn!”

They let out a harsh, high-pitched cackle. They laughed so loud and so forcefully that they began to foam at the mouth.

“Wow! You really are desperate for your wife, huh? I’ve never kissed anyone so needy before!” the demon said boastfully.

Fiddleford growled in anger and tossed a book at them. It hit them in the nose, but they hardly reacted.

“H-How dare you come to me and violate me like this?! You’re sick!” Fiddleford cried.

“Oh, please! You were so into it! We would have gotten to third base if your senses hadn’t finally kicked in. It took you exactly 17.6 seconds to realize! That’s how much you enjoyed it!” the demon claimed.

Fiddleford sputtered. His face was hot. His body trembled. He was full of so many emotions and didn’t know what to do.

“This was me trying to get rid of you! I thought if I made a move on you, you’d be out of here before Sixer could even wake up! But oh, man! That was just pitiful! You’re so horny that you’d go down on your work partner? Stanford Pines? The guy’s barely a functioning person!” said the demon.

His voice was shrill and echoed off the walls, “Let’s be real, Eyeglasses! You never should have come here in the first place. You should have just stayed back in Palo Alto with your little domestic housewife and nuclear family dynamic. I mean, that little display alone proves it! So why don’t you run along and leave me and Stanford to do this on our own, huh? Come on…”

Fiddleford gritted his teeth, balled up his fists, and sighed, “You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I guess Stanford doesn’t need me anymore…” he slowly reached into his waistband and grabbed onto the memory ray, “I guess then I should just…pack up and-“ he cocked the gun and aimed it right at the demon, “Get out of his body! Get out! Or I’ll make you!”

The demon scoffed, “I’m not scared of that thing. It doesn’t even work!”

Fiddleford pulled the trigger and a beam of energy went right towards him. The demon yelped and ducked, the beam grazing the top of their head and leaving the ends of their hair seared off.

“Geez! Alright, alright! So dramatic…” the demon finally relented.

Then, with the light whoosh of a triangular shadow, Ford’s body slumped over and collapsed to the ground.

Fiddleford still couldn’t catch a full breath. He panted heavily and set the gun down, the feeling to sob too strong to ignore.

You let him manipulate you like that?!

Imagine if your mama found out!

Adulterer! You’re doomed to hellfire!

Emma is gonna find out and she’ll leave you!

You’d better pray for forgiveness.

But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32

His own internal voice chided at him in his head.

Tears streamed down his face as he stormed up the staircase into the upper floors of the house, then went to his bedroom and slammed the door. He buried his face in his sheets and cried himself to sleep.

Part 2

The next morning, Stanford awoke with a pounding headache and terrible nausea. This was typical after Bill took over his body.

He sat up and tried to swallow down the contents of his stomach, at least until he could make it to a toilet.

When he got to the top of the staircase, the light coming through the windows caused him to wince. Another wave of nausea passed through him.

He made a dash to the bathroom and vomited. His temples pulsed as he coughed and hacked.

That damn triangle… he thought.

He finally cleaned himself up and got changed into different clothes that weren’t three days old, then headed into the kitchen. After expelling everything in his stomach, he was left feeling famished.

In the kitchen brewing coffee was Fiddleford. Once Ford had entered the room, his face turned white.

“Morning, McGucket. Are you okay?” Ford questioned, noticing his change in demeanor.

McGucket couldn’t speak. He quickly nodded his head and swallowed. His throat was dry.

He averted his gaze. Something that did give him relief was seeing that Ford looked normal.

He kept his head down and focused on stirring his coffee.

Ford cleared his throat and poured his own cup of coffee. The both of them stood facing opposite sides of the kitchen.

Fiddleford stared into his cup and watched the liquid slosh around inside of it. He drummed his fingers on the countertop anxiously. He didn’t know if Stanford was playing dumb, or if he genuinely didn’t remember what had happened.

“Why’d you let Cipher do what he did?” Fiddleford blurted out. He regretted it instantly.

“Do what? Oh, God, what is it now???” Ford questioned. He sounded alarmed and fearful.

“I was in the lab. You came downstairs. You got closer and closer and then…suddenly we were kissing.” Fiddleford recounted the confusing swirl of events that left him full of questions.

Ford grimaced and slammed his cup on the countertop. Fiddleford noticed the coffee in his cup ripple in waves against the vibrations.

“Dammit! Really?” Ford exclaimed.

“Yes. Really.” McGucket confirmed.

Ford wasn’t just mad. He wasn’t just ashamed. He was appalled and enraged. He wanted to do something to let go of his anger but wasn’t sure how.

“God, F. I am so sorry. I really am so sorry.” Ford said, still fuming. He started to walk out of the kitchen with his coffee cup, “I’ll leave you be. You probably can’t look at me right now.”

“No,” Fiddleford stated, “Stay. I want to talk about it.”

Ford paused and turned back around.

The two of them sat at the kitchen table with their coffees.

Fiddleford drummed on the table anxiously.

“So, Bill Cipher kissed me. But…before I realized it was him, I thought it was you. And, well…I sort of liked it. I don’t know if it’s homesickness, or cabin fever…but I just accepted the fact I was being kissed.” Fiddleford explained

Ford glanced back at him, his eyebrows raised.

“You liked it…” he repeated, breathless, “Never would have expected that…”

Fiddleford’s face turned hot, his cheeks flushing pink.

“I-I just…missed the feeling, I guess. I was utterly confused, of course, and I was wondering what was wrong with you. I knew you’d never do something like that. So…finding out it was Cipher made a lot more sense. It was just a lot for me to take in. It made me feel like a fool.” said McGucket, stirring his coffee into a whirlpool. He watched the liquid spin in a winding pattern against the teaspoon.

He glanced up at Ford slightly, and there was a light smirk on his face. Fiddleford couldn’t tell if it was teasing or bashful. But neither of them said anything for several seconds.

“Why feel like a fool? It’s not your fault. Bill’s an asshole. He just wanted to freak you out to make you leave. But it didn’t. It only made you want to stay longer, huh?” Ford said.

“I-I…I guess so. Um, but, I really do miss my family. But I would feel guilty leaving you behind.” he stood up to put his saucer in the kitchen sink.

“We’ve been doing this project for so long, I just thought leaving in the midst of it would be wrong. But you’ve been spending so much time with that demon lately…sometimes I just feel sort of tossed aside. So I have considered going back. But since last night I’m not sure what to do.” he said.

Fiddleford turned from the sink to see Ford standing before him.

“Then, why not try it for real?” he mumbled, grabbing McGucket’s hand, “And see how you feel after that?”

Fiddleford felt the telltale warmth in his face again, the touch of Ford’s six fingers against his five making his stomach flutter. It was a strange sensation, but comforting.

McGucket grabbed the back of Ford’s head and brought his face into his.

Ford leaned up against Fiddleford on the countertop. They gazed into each other’s eyes briefly and knew they both had the same idea.

Fiddleford closed his eyes and locked lips with Ford. The real Stanford’s lips were so much softer and warm than the demon’s. His lips tasted of coffee. He felt the man sigh and his entire body relaxed, practically melting into the kiss. His body smelled of parchment and ink.

They continued to kiss for several seconds, their hands caressing each other’s hair and shoulders, until finally, they both let go.

Ford glanced back at him, nearly starry-eyed. He was awestruck.

“So, um…” Ford said quietly, his voice wavering, “How did that feel?

Fiddleford licked the lingering taste of Ford from his lips and smiled, “Still the same…I want to stay here with you.” he replied.

Ford smiled back, “I’m glad,” he replied.

[adamnablelittledevil]

Now that the first book fresh on your mind, would you say the characters are made worse in the show or better in terms of morality/as persons? Just in context of the first book since that's all they've adapted for now.

(Yeah odd question to ask about a gothic horror story and its monstrous cast but I'm curious)

Hey, thanks for the question. :)

EDITED: Just want to say that this based on what Lestat tells, keep in mind first-person narration can be unreliable, even for innocent reasons. :)

So, I still haven't read the first book, I've decided to start with the novels that haven't been covered yet and then go to Interview With the Vampire. I'm currently reading The Vampire Lestat since that's the next one they're adapting. I'm still on part II, when Lestat is becoming familiar with his powers and learning how to have a social life with humans, but a private, isolated one as a vampire. Out of the show characters, I have only met Lestat and Nicki so far.

Based on what I know from this specific book and the show, I'd say they're on the same level. As a human, Lestat was abused/neglected/isolated by his family, whenever he tried to run and make a better life for himself he was forcefully taken back home, so he reached a point where he would even think of killing them. He also felt conflicted about it, his conscience told him it was wrong and he never tried anything. In the past, when he was at the monastery, he was a disciplined student that rarely got and the few times it happened, he enjoyed it. He appreciated the fact people saw the good in him and thought he could grow into an even better person. Way later, when Magnus kidnaps and turns him into a vampire, he thinks a lot about morality, and specially religion, right and wrong, heaven and hell, God and the Devil, his own existence as a vampire etc. BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER his transformation. He didn't want to be a vampire, he fought the entire time and when he didn't it was because he was too frozen to react. Magnus tried to make him accept it, but even until the last moment Magnus had to drop his blood in his mouth because Lestat preferred to die than becoming a vampire. It's after he was turned that there was a shift.

So far, it isn't a big shift, he still has all of that in his mind, he still prayed multiple times, he entered a church and touched all those religious objects hoping something would happen and it never did, put them back just how they were so people wouldn't notice it before leaving, he was afraid of meeting Nicki and his family again so he kept his distance, but sent loads of money to everyone - including his father, siblings and the theater he had worked at etc. He literally says "for now I had done what I could for all those I loved, hadn't I?" referring to those actions for those people.

'The biggest change was the ability of draining and killing humans. At first, he doesn't want to do it. However, his senses and hunger get the best of him, so he just goes for it like a carnivorous animal. And ultimately, he enjoys and embraces it. He even has preferences on what kind of blood is his favorite and the pace he drains them, because he likes to savor it. And it isn't just satisfying your hunger, there's a sensual component to that too. Also, he tried to eat and drink human food, but said he couldn't stand the taste and even its smell. There is some shift in his conscience too, he didn't completely lose it, but he has naturally developed a distance between himself and humans. I'm not saying that's a permanent thing or if it oscillates, I'm too early to have an answer to this, but when he is hungry, he is able to look at them as food, as a meal he needs like living beings can. There is a lot of aspects mixed together, his human mind and heart, the biological needs of his body and the supernatural side of it, that makes vampires closer to a God than a person or an animal.'The biggest change was the ability of draining and killing humans. At first, he doesn't want to do it. However, his senses and hunger get the best of him, so he just goes for it like a carnivorous animal. And ultimately, he enjoys and embraces it. He even has preferences on what kind of blood is his favorite and the pace he drains them, because he likes to savor it. And it isn't just satisfying your hunger, there's a sensual component to that too. Also, he tried to eat and drink human food, but said he couldn't stand the taste and even its smell. There is some shift in his conscience too, he didn't completely lose it, but he has naturally developed a distance between himself and humans. I'm not saying that's a permanent thing or if it oscillates, I'm too early to have an answer to this, but when he is hungry, he is able to look at them as food, as a meal he needs like living beings can. There is a lot of aspects mixed together, his human mind and heart, the biological needs of his body and the supernatural side of it, that makes vampires closer to a God than a person or an animal.

And after Lestat was turned, it's heavily implied that his emotions and senses were heightened, which makes the whole killing and draining humans thing even more layered. Lestat is a character that has a history of trauma and traits common to people that have BPD, ADHD, depression and/or even more. And I'm not saying he has any of these diagnosis, let alone all of them, but it is possible and he is significantly coded that way, whether Anne did it on purpose or not. So, all of those are amplified once he is a vampire. To the point he vomits with certain smells, that he cries so loud that he is sick of his own tears and the sound of his own sobs etc, so trying to navigate all of that, specially as a freshly new vampire without any counseling, can and is a lot.

I guess the show has explored all of these well so far, I've already had all of these impressions based on the series and some interviews alone, but what I've read seems to corroborate it. I feel like we got most of that from Louis, though, but it's understandable considering they were covering his book. And Jacob did a phenomenal job. And even in Louis's, Claudia's and Armand's flashbacks (or fanfiction, lol), Sam managed to play Lestat as people remember/think of him and what the scene demanded from his performance, but also found opportunities to show sides of him that those three might not know. He made Lestat be a full character with many layers instead of just a plot device to serve the arc of other people. The biggest difference is that they haven't shown a lot of Lestat's vulnerability (he only cried once, but when he did, it was as intense as what I've read on the book) and his complex with his existence and religion. But again, I'm quite early and I don't know if this is a permanent part of the books. Still, permanent or temporary, it is a part of his arc and I believe they will explore it to some extent on season 3.

[enixamyram]

In another (not so) mini rant about how anti's make things seems so much worse based on off-screen moments:

Stolas is not a neglectful/bad parent.

The basis for claiming Stolas is a bad parent is based on the very few episodes we actually see of him and Octavia. Because the truth is, we haven't actually seen a whole lot of her and what little we have seen is obviously not going to be perfect family time because conflict is entertaining. However, not perfect doesn't mean awful or even bad. And what we have seen is certainly not as bad as some people try and make it seem.

(Long over explaining and analyzing Octavia episodes ahead:)

We have the first episode "Loo Loo Land".

It opens with a young Octavia having a nightmare and Stolas is the one to go and comfort her. The entire scene is a beautiful soft scene between a father and daughter and clearly shows how close they are with how easily he can calm her and get her back to sleep.

Then we cut to her waking up to her parents fighting. Now let's be clear and put the blame where it belongs. If we're gonna call anyone out for hostile home enviroments, the thing that wakes Octavia is her mother shrieking like a harpy. She then storms off while Stolas is the one to greet their daughter.

Now, as said, Stolas isn't a perfect parent. He doesn't know his daughter very well, aka, doesn't know she isn't a fan of Loo Loo Land anymore and pushes it on her because he's clinging to the memory of happier times when she was younger rather than embracing who she has become. He's also very inappropriate with Blitzo while Octavia is still in the room and he gets Blitzo to be his bodyguard even though he doesn't need it. Again, not a good parent. Definitely selfish and more than a little creepy and weird at times.

However, the episode ends with Octavia storming off and Stolas finally seeing what he's been doing. You can come up with whatever reason he has for why he behaved the way he did but it was definitely lousy. In the end, though, Stolas knows and acknowledges that he screwed up. He and Octavia talk it out and they are closer because of it.

Then we have "Seeing Stars".

Again, we start with another flashback to Octavia younger. These flashbacks, as well as how Stolas acts around Octavia in general, strongly suggests he was the most involved in her life growing up. It makes sense, since his marriage was a shame but the child was not. Stella seemed to have a much more active social life, so it stands to reason that Stolas will be closer to Octavia.

We then cut to grown up Octavia and she is very excited about the day. This follows from the last episode where they connected and really does imply their relationship between the last episode and this one is still a strong one. Nothing suggests they've had any problems between and there's no reason to assume he's been a bad parent in anyway.

Obviously we then have the conflict of the episode which is Stolas being so focused on his divorce with Stella that he doesn't remember his plans with Octavia. She tries to tell him but he brushes her off and she gets upset, steals the book and runs away.

Again, Stolas is wrong for not listening to her, but that's not the worst thing a parents has ever done and it certainly doesn't make him a neglectful one. He's clearly preoccupied and while that doesn't excuse what he did, it explains it enough. It's not the end of the world, nor is it the most traumatic thing a teenager can experience, especially when - as I said - it's heavily implied this is not the norm for them. This is special circumstances because of the divorce.

I've seen people claim Octavia is forgotten by Stolas, which is hilarious because the entire of the episode is about Stolas trying to find her. He literally bursts into Blitzo's office in full demon mode because his daughter is lost.

That is not the reaction of a neglectful bad parent. He then spends the entire time worrying about her. Even when he and Blitzo get caught up in other things, he voices his concern how they'll get away to keep looking for Octavia.

In the end they find her and Stolas embraces her. There's no anger at her running away with magic she's not been prepared for, just pure concern and relief to have her back safe. And when he realizes what he forgot, he's clearly kicking himself. He knows he fucked up. It can happen and in the end Octavia easily forgives him (again telling us this isn't something that happen off screen or even often for her to hold a grudge).

Finally, we have the latest episode. Because even with everything, I've still managed to see people whine about how selfish Stolas is to do what he did without thinking about Octavia. And I might agree except that what he did was keep someone else alive so I still find it ridiculous to criticise him for it.

Blitzo was about to be executed if Stolas didn't own up to the fact that he let him have the book. Yes, a parent needs to think of their child but that's not all they must think about. In fact, a parent that only thinks about their child is actually not healthy. More so, being a parent doesn't make someone exempt from all other things that are happening in life. Not to mention you can bet the anti's would have been pissed if he hadn't stepped in because of Octavia.

Anyway. Long rant finished. Stolas clearly is very loving parent who's not perfect but is genuinely trying while also dealing with his own stuff. And I just know the next few episodes really are going to be heartbreaking and I both am dreading it and can't wait for it!

[iknowshocker]

Anon from the last question here 🙋‍♀️ LOVED your answer and love a good Kai psychoanalysis 🙌

You mentioned it’s hc that 1994 Kai is virgin!kai, which got me thinking… did he ever really have any romantic or physical experiences? (Legacies Kai never happened in my mind 🥲)

And kind of on the same note, what do you think life was like for him when he was 18-22? It’s hc for me that he was homeschooled, but we don’t really know anything from the time he turned 18 until he was sent to a prison world

omg hi!! thank you for the question i've been having so much fun answering! i should have made a place to talk about my boy sooner, i could yap about him all day 😂

(oh man legacies kai my deeply insane beloved) he's really cracked out in those episodes but there are a few little moments where he feels like himself that i hold onto lol i just wish they hadn't put in his fling with the immortal teenager like he was 👉🏼👈🏼 close to being the only man to make it out of the TVDu without an inappropriate relationship i know there's an age gap with bonnie but it's simply not the same imo

okay here we go 18-22 kai:

so i assume, in the most affectionate way possible, that he gave off major JD from the heathers vibes. (the black cargo pants with the heavy ass combat boots?? he's a scary boy and he knows it lmao)

that age of young adulthood is such a volatile time, but for kai his resentments are growing, it's getting closer and closer to the merge, and if he can just wait it out a little longer everything is finally going to change. so lots of pent up energy, studying like crazy, in general running himself into the ground to insure everything goes the way he desperately needs it to. this also explains why he built up to such a violent snap. it's the one thing he's been holding on to, he was literally born for it, and then they still take it away.

those stupid christmas sweater photos make me think that everyone was living at home up until may 10th. unlike liv/luke i think joshua kept jo/kai close because he felt he needed to watch kai. i've always found it interesting that Jo goes into the medical field but Kai has the anatomy knowledge to cut out her spleen correctly lmao i hc they both had an interest in medicine, with him looking for a cure probably and jo maybe helping him at least at first. crazy to think that they probably would have still become a dr regardless of which one of them won the og merge!

anyway yes i think they were stuck living at home, with kai basically being held hostage and Jo being forced into a caretaker role since their mother died giving birth to the baby twins. (that's not like fully confirmed but the timeline works out so to me it's basically canon lol)

i mentioned kai having PTSD centered on touch and i think that would make any sort of social stuff hard for him. he's been taught to think he's dangerous and he's not been given any tools to keep from being that way. i hc most of his knowledge of his power came from trial and error, because joshua was like "alright no magic for you keep that in check demon spawn" from the time it manifested. (listen i could write dissertations on how despicable it is that they KNEW about gemini siphons and just refused to find ways to help him) that sort of fear/mistrust over his own abilities starting at such a young age would be totally crippling.

i read a fic once where he sleep siphoned Jo when they were young and nearly killed her during a nightmare. i could absolutely see things like that happening, and it leaving him terrified to do it again. but then his sociopathy developing would give him the ability to lash out without worrying about the guilt of his actions. but just because he doesn't let himself feel guilty doesn't mean he doesn't know what he did was wrong. i can imagine it would be so conflicting to need magic to work/feel normal but the only way to get it is to hurt the only people around you day to day. just a nightmare all around.

(have you seen the deleted scene with Jo/Kai? because that monologue from him lives rent free in my mind. the panicked breathing, the sad eyes, the desperation in his tone !! i just can't handle it lmao they 100% cut it because leaving it in and still killing him would have caused riots in the streets)

being homeschooled would limit the entire family's outside interactions, but i imagine they usually left kai at the house when they went out to the shops/coven gatherings/general outings. he does have basic people skills when we meet him so it's not like he's 100% ostracized but i do think a lot of his personality is him mimicking things he's seen in movies/mirroring the people around him in a given moment. he's faking it based off of what he thinks would be correct and when he gets it wrong you can see him deflate.

if he was allowed to go out growing up, i think he probably stuck to Jo and let her do the talking. so when she started pulling away from him too and he didn't have a buffer, it was probably easier to just stay home instead of risking it on his own.

i'm a person who hears his version of "they isolated me" and Jos "our parents saw him pulling away, isolating himself" and lands somewhere in the middle. i think they had rules over him not touching anyone/made it very clear he couldn't be trusted and that left kai feeling like "okay well f you guys i'll just go back to my room" it was just easier for him to go ahead and leave instead of let them bully him into leaving.

like he's the oldest, but do we think the other siblings listened to him ?? nah, man, there's simply no way. by the time they reached 22, no one in the house but liv/luke showed much interest in him. and he had to know that the older they got, they'd grow to believe joshua/fear him too. that had to be freaking exhausting, not to mention hurtful as hell.

(i mean... "When your family decides that you are nothing but an irredeemable piece of trash, well…I guess the best thing to do is prove them right, right?” like by the time we get to the red wedding, they broke him. there's no more second chances or trying again or believing they'll change. he's done. but he had to get pushed to that point and i think it was building his entire life.)

i hc as the oldest Jo/Kai shared a car, but to be so honest i always assumed he taught himself how to drive (fast lol) in the prison world. i would love to believe they snuck out to concerts together or had little adventures growing up but i think Jo turned on him somewhere around the time she realized she wasn't going to be allowed to go off to college. she would have had her own resentments around being stuck with him because of him, and so i don't see them having much of a relationship past the age of like 16.

to circle back to romantic relationships, i just don't think kai ever had an opportunity to be close enough to anyone for anything to happen romantically or even platonically pre prison world.

that's why bonnie showing up is such a big deal. she's this beautiful, funny, smart witch and she's just suddenly !! in his world !! the fact that he can't help getting close to her means everything to me. there's something about her/her magic that just tugs him in. "yeah but i wanted to feel your hand on my chest" come ON once you know the implications of that statement how do people not melt. babes is so touch starved he's dying for anyyyyoneeee to love on him.

bonkai sidenote: im a firm believer that grams was playing matchmaker. i hc she knew kai growing up and tried to help him when she could, which is why they went the prison world route instead of simply getting rid of him. without a bennett to bind the spell it wouldn't have been possible, so she agreed to keep something else from happening to him. she literally tells bonnie she gave up her peace so that bonnie could find hers, knowing 100% she was sending her to a world where kai was waiting/he couldn't be killed/and they would have to work together to escape. even more than that, damon wasn't supposed to go !!! so grams knew they'd be alone and either assumed bonnie could handle him or believed there was enough good in kai that it wouldn't go badly for bonnie or both lol we know from the jump that grams adores bonnie, there's not a chance in hell she would have sent her there if she thought for a second kai would hurt her. i just don't think she realized how sick he would become on his own, and adding damon into the mix changes the dynamics because kai is trying to come off stronger than he is.

yikes sorry i dont know how to discuss him without discussing bonnie 🙈

again thank you for your ask!!