#because i start out trying to write one thing and then end up writing another

[alllgator-blood]

'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'

(part 3/3)

I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.

As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january

Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.

I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.

That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."

Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you

[cherie-doll]

Hi !!!:3💌

I was wondering if you could write a headcanon about what it would be like for men to go with you to your country to spend Christmas already married and with children??? I hope you can🫶. Thanks!!⊹˚₊⭒

thought it'd be perfect if i posted this on the 25th but since yule started i decided why not today

᭺ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Christmas in your country w/ COD Men

✺ Price...

decided to surprise you with a trip back to your country to visit your family, you were overjoyed as you hadn't seen them in a while, especially with how busy you had been with raising the kids it wasn't going to be easy

he helped you make the proper preparations, the children were excited to visit and learn about how you celebrated during this time of the year

Price is more than supportive and helps take care of the kids who might be hyper and he didn't want them to stress you out when you should be enjoying your stay

"it's all about you, luv" he assures as he's the one to hang back a little and help the children get ready

you definitely enjoy this year a little more than the others, even if it sounds selfish it had been a nice break from the previous years of strenuous cooking and organizing for large dinners to simply enjoying nostalgic traditions from when you were a kid

✺ Ghost...

Simon wanted to help you relax, you were always so wired up and he was worried you'd overwork yourself getting presents for everyone especially since you were going back to your country

so he was several steps ahead and already had contacted your family beforehand so there would be less things you'd worry about, they were on board with the entire thing

he made it especially clear to your son and daughter that they should be on their very best behavior and not get into any trouble so you could enjoy this holiday properly with your family

at the end of it all, you were overwhelmed (in a good way) by all the warmth and familiarity that you fell asleep on the couch in front of the fireplace, a small smile on your face, content with how everything turned out, he pulled out a blanket you'd been gifted and sat next to you, caressing your hair and being warmed by the fire

✺ Soap...

for once he wanted to do something more for you, you had always gone above and beyond for him, so he figured he should do the same, quickly he realized it wasn't easy but he prevailed

you had landed and upon making inquiries at the front desk realized your luggage had been lost, he knew this would send you into a frenzy as all the gifts were in there, he told you and the kids to go ahead and head to the place you would be staying and spent an agonizing few hours at the airport trying to sort everything out

you worried he wouldn't arrive in time but then the doorbell rang, and there he stood, looking a little worn out but still managing a huge grin on his face, proud that he was able to handle it all by himself

he collapsed on the mattress afterwards as you approached him and thanked him for organizing this entire trip for you, you told him he didn't have to do it again but he insisted on coming again next year because after all he had really enjoyed this christmas a lot more seeing you happy and cheerfil with your family

✺ Gaz...

you had received a free plane ticket from a family member who hadn't seen you at family gatherings and missed you, the ticket was only for one person and you hesitated on accepting it because it'd mean you would have to leave Kyle and your two daughters behind

he, however, encouraged you to take the trip and he might spend this christmas with his family, you couldn't take your daughters but it had been years since you had been to your country, and honestly? you missed it, a lot

there might not be another chance so you agreed and made the trip, the first few days you couldn't help but miss the company of your husband and daughters, you admit that it's nice to be home again but you wish you didn't have to celebrate separately

you didn't expect to open the door on christmas morning and find your two daughters smiling gleefully up at you all bundled up in their scarves and Kyle standing behind them holding a beautiful bouquet, you almost knocked him over when you ran into his arms for a hug

✺ Roach...

he's nervous at the thought of going to your country not because of the travelling but more because that means you'd want to see your family and he hasn't met them prior to this

you even consider just not seeing them but he doesn't want you to miss out on spending time with your family, you assure him you'll just visit them the day before and then spend christmas just the two of you, that backfires because your family strongly urges you to spend the following day with them and suggest you bring your husband and kid so they could all meet them

he's on edge just thinking that your entire family will be there, especially if you've got a ton of family members who come from everywhere, and soon as he arrives he gets all shy when all eyes go to him because they don't know him, after you introduce him everyone beams and flocks to him greeting him in ways he's not used to, especially if where you're from greeting someone with a kiss is the norm

soon he looses his shyness and partakes in the festivities and has a wonderful time, you sit back and watch with a satisfied smile, your chin resting on your hand just watching him have fun, secretly you knew that they'd love him

✺ Alejandro...

Alejandro still holds his customs dearly to him so when he traveled to your country he, of course, brought his customs along, he made sure your family was fine with it and they more than welcomed them

it might have looked a little weird to see the 'weird' mix of food and way of doing things but it was fun to experience, your family already liked him but he really grew on them this time as they got to witness his culture and share some of theirs as well

the entire time he spent bonding with your family and was open to trying new things, he was also able to experience the weather during christmas in another country, whether that be heavy snow and chilling air that he isn't used to or suffocating heat that he can handle because that's like the second summer he's had to endure this year despite it being over from where he's from

✺ Rudy...

he's always loved helping you prepare for christmas, he wakes up earlier than you do and by the time you walk into the kitchen he's wearing an apron

so when you went back to your country he made an even bigger effort to impress your family by helping them prepare, he might have grown up with different customs or traditions but essentially he had the right intentions and was eager to learn

they took a liking to him right away and spent the entire day before the main event getting all the decorations tacked up and cooking a feast

he of course, didn't forget the kids, he might have asked for help to dress them in cute sweaters that your aunts knitted for them, he made sure they were extra thankful

✺ Phillip Graves...

i like to think he's cheesy af and does all your typical and cliché stuff during christmas since he's all hyped up for it that even your older kids can't help but roll their eyes

he was probably more excited than you were to go back to your country, he always liked hearing stories of how it was like growing up there and so he was the one to bring the idea of spending christmas there

he actually surprised you when you arrived and he greeted your family in their mother tongue, you didn't even know he had been practicing

he had the children help set up the decorations and you can't help but admit it was adorable seeing him lift the younger ones up to put up decorations on places they otherwise wouldn't be able to reach

✺ Makarov...

Makarov loves spoiling you and the kids on the regular, but he goes all out on christmas, he spends the month before snooping around and picking up hints on what you or the kids might want

he himself never really asks for anything because his biggest joy now is seeing you happy along with the children, he really couldn't ask for anything else

now that he's visiting your side of the family, he brings many gifts and lavish gifts for them, hoping to charm them, the kids especially love him and slide up to him hoping to he given extra candy or toys this year, this makes your younger children jealous and so they're constantly at their father's side, giving scowls to the kids who are doing too much

✺ Keegan...

he's overwhelmed meeting all of your family members and even your extensive family who have come too, it's kind of hilarious seeing him trying to take care of your son when he's a bit distracted, the kids are all playing in a circle and he comes up to one, taps him on the shoulder and tells him to come eat but when the kid turns around it's not even the right one

your family likes to get all dressed up and fancy for the big dinner so you go out of your way to your son cleaned up and getting yourself ready, while you're still touching up Keegan says he'll go ahead and wait for you with your son, and imagine the look on his face and everyone else when they see you walk down in clothes that elegantly compliment you

everyone turns to Keegan to see what he'll say but he's just awestruck, can't really get a coherent sentence out of his mouth other than just "wow, you look-" and then just admiring you

✺ König...

he's dragged away to help wrap up presents for the family, except he's not very good at it, he can't make it look very pretty and the wrapping paper tears, he tried tying a neat and elegant bow but he can only make really tight knots instead

still he's receiving pats on the back and "good jobs" for it, and when presents are handed out everyone knows who wrapped the funny looking presents

he'll hold your daughter up who's still too young to reach for herself the cookies on the top shelf when they're not supposed to be eaten yet, still he sneaks a few cookies and even bring some for you, this reminds you of how when you were a kid you also used to steal cookies the night before so you could enjoy some yourself

and when the time comes for the family photo he's having a hard time fitting into the frame because he's taller than everyone else, so he tries crouching a bit, bending his knees but it just makes him look awkward, instead someone suggests they all sit on the floor or on chairs and that way you now have a lovely copy of the picture to hand onto your fridge when you go back home

✺ Horangi...

he makes sure his daughters are dressed in cute matching dresses, their hair all neat and wearing pretty sweaters because he's not having them do the ugly sweater contest, he doesn't care how much money it cost to get those clothes customed and tailored they deserve it

of course he insists on having your clothes made special for the occasion as well but you decline saying not to worry you have yours ready

you arrive to be greeted by your family and it's custom to have the children sing or show off some sort of talent, your daughters are no less prepared as they sing and everyone is head over heels with how adorable they are, clearly you've done a good job with raising them

Horangi is proud to call you his s/o, even if it embarrasses you a little to constantly be referred as 'his' (in a lovingly manner ofc) in front of people who've watched you grow up

✺ Nikto...

he knows you're glad to be back in your country and celebrate, but behind that joy you're honestly a little tired, the trip was nothing easy especially if you're travelling to a different country and it was a long flight

after the festivities are over, he insists on putting the kids in bed, he carries the ones who have fallen asleep on the floor to their beds where you're staying and tucks them in, afterwards you honestly need a moment to yourself

after making sure the kids are asleep and won't need anything else, he shuffles outside where you're sitting by yourself on the porch stairs, you've forgotten your sweater inside so he takes his off and envelopes you in an embrace, sitting on the step behind you and keeping his arms around you

he doesn't say anything but you lean back into his chest and close your eyes and he also kind of leans in, resting his head on top of yours

[zorange13]

— love island, enhypen edition

enha as the islanders x afab reader (hyung line).

will post maknae line soon (let me know if y'all want it!!)

warnings/content. suggestive content, got WAYYY carried away with jake’s part, slowburn, reality tv au, YEARNINGGG, romantic competition, half-cheating, angst, light e2l, swearing, jealousy, insecurity, drama-heavy (duh)

lightly proofread, i did NOT sleep to write this lmao.

word count: 7.2k

inspired by the aot edition from @rynfiles, pls check them out!!

Heeseung 이희승

def a smooth ass talker, so charismatic 

such a heartthrob

would be a fan favorite at first

an OG and would partner up with whoever he wants

also prob have a kiss by the end of the first episode 

knows he’s hot and would honestly use that to his advantage to get to know everyone, esp in early days

genuinely so funny and would be one of the guys that gets along well with both the boys and girls

however, he would be a lil bit of a fuckboy, but he would feel so bad about it after watching the show back at the end.

being a libra, hee is naturally (and sometimes unintentionally) very flirty to the point where a girl might think she is being led on. even if he’s just trying to be nice. 

cue one of the girls saying, “idk like heeseung and i just seem to have a good connection.”

10 minutes later he’s tonguing down another girl.

so him and his first pairing would just end in a pretty messy situation

fans start to not fw him

he would be in couples and stay throughout the whole show just because he’s good tv. 

he’d be on the chopping block a few times but would somehow the producers would find something to save him (rob cough cough)

fans love to hate him

but wouldn’t truly fall head over heels until about week 3 and really hit it off with a girl. no one else matters to him at that point

you’d be a bombshell (duh)

but by the time casa amor comes around and he wants to close things off, the girls would be gone by that point

he’d be fuming

but then when the casa girls come, he’d be like ‘nah, i miss my girl’

but his head would be slightly turned by one of them

maybe a kiss or two, heavy petting unfortunately

but then when the girls are sent the video of what the boys have been doing…

best believe heeseung would get his ass handed to him at the recoupling

wouldn’t be able to look at you, once he sees the look in your eyes was when it hit him.

he wouldn’t bring anyone back though!!

you would put a pillow between them

fans kinda hate him at this point, like bro is public enemy #1

but he would do anything to win you back

i’m talking on HIS KNEES, yearning !!

a clip on tiktok would go viral of him for that

“if i have to show you why you’re the one for me, i’ll do it again. over and over again until you want me. i don’t care what it takes. i can’t let you go.”

fans would swoon, then hate themselves for liking him again (real asf)

kordell and serena coded as far as the casa situation

days of nice gestures until you felt you wanted him to stop

he would (try to) make you breakfast and bring it up to the beauty room; giving you a kiss on the side of your head as he left. saying “i know you like your eggs scrambled and your coffee light and sweet”

it would prob taste terrible it’s the thought that counts

the girls would giggle after he got far enough from the door, but you didn’t pay much mind

making you cheese toasties in the middle of the day when he “just so happens” to hear that you’re hungry.

after days of groveling, you cave when he enlists jay and jake to help him make your favorite food for candlelit dinner by the beach.

“i know i fucked up, i know that i hurt you badly. but please, if you give me this chance to prove that i’m not just some asshole, i will be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

“boyfriend?”

“boyfriend.”

would have the hideaway for the night

would def make use of the toys in there

can see y’all being in the final 4

final date is horseback riding and dinner at one of the luxury resorts in fiji

his finale speech would send twitter in a spiral

“i came in here not expecting anything from this, just a fun time. just a free vacation and beautiful women. i seriously thought that i was on my way out because i had burnt all of my bridges. but when you showed up, i just—” sighs, trying not to let himself get choked up. “I knew you were so out of my league. even now you are, i felt like a guy like me didn’t deserve a woman like you. you’re not scared to call me out on my bullshit, you make me laugh, you made me earn you. despite all of the bullshit i put you through, you extended grace and there’s nothing more i could ask for from you and that will be the last time i ever ask you to extend me that much. but that look in your eye told me everything that i needed to know. watching that clip of you cry in the girl’s arms during movie night was all that i needed to know that i will never in my life, do anything to make someone i love feel like that ever again. you’re it for me, and no matter what happens tonight, win or lose; i’m a winner because I get to walk out with you.”

“love?”

“love.”

would have the whole villa in TEARS

reformed fuckboy™ + the queen who tamed him = they don’t even need to win

runners-up!!

Jay 박종성

the most chill one there tbh

og and would pair with who he liked 

but they would burn out not from drama, but they realized there was a lack of chemistry

wouldn’t stir much drama but WOULD PULL for sure

he knew what he signed up for of course but is more of slow burner

he doesn’t like to entertain someone he isn’t interested in if he knew there was someone else he might like more

if his heart isn’t in it, he’s not gonna waste your time or his own

so he’d just be honest and the girls would love him for that

grows close with a lot of them and even offers advice when needed

blunt, but transparent and the fans like him

such a breath of fresh air from all of the weird, sneaky boys

the type that you would def know if he liked you

would somehow end up making out with one of the bombshells in soul ties, they couple up

the chef™

is always the one helping out with dinner

the girls always ask him to make them something because they know he’d never say no

isn’t the life of the party but is never a buzz kill

knows how to have fun and will always be there to have a good laugh.

would fizzle out with that bombshell

“you’re cool and so gorgeous. i just don’t feel anything deeper and i’m sorry.”

bombshell would be understanding not take it personally, she’s more into heeseung anyway lmao

kinda goes on aimlessly

would end up kissing one of the og girls (you) during a challenge in week 2 and holy shit

he liked it a lot more than he’d expect

wouldn’t know how to handle it and would feel like shit

i mean it’s only week 2 but weeks here feel like months

so technically, everyone’s been dating for 2 months !!

would talk to jake and would eventually just approach you about it. better to live with no regrets

“hey, can i pull you for a chat?” he says to you as you’re lounging on one of the day beds.

“of course,” you stood up and he ruffled your hair with a smile as y’all walked to one of the swinging benches.

“so remember when we kissed earlier? in the challenge?”

“yeah? i’m sure i’d remember who i kissed.”

oh…he liked this girl for real now

your own couple wouldn’t be too solid either seeing as it was so early but not

still wanted to be respectful though !!

nonetheless you end up recoupling and that guy gets sent home

sad to see a friend of his go home but very happy that he could love on his girl openly now

so head over heels, still makes the girls food because he’s a gentleman

but he brings you full on meals!! steaks, ribs, chicken (fried, baked, grilled, doesn’t matter !!! your wish is his command) the most they were getting out of him was a cheese toastie, they’ll be lucky if they get a piece of meat on it

you would def have a ‘my man, my man’ attitude after that which he lowkey loved

the girls made jokes about how they lost their personal chef and would start hassling their men to cook for them

you left a note on your mirror for him before you dipped for casa. 

“i’m not the best at goodbyes, but i didn’t want to leave without saying something. thank you for being so good to me, for being real with me, and for making me feel like i matter here. i know things aren’t always easy to say, but i’m happy with you. i hope you’re doing okay while i’m gone, and i’ll be thinking about you. can’t wait to come back to you.

p.s. the food’s not the same without you here.”

then left a kiss in his favorite lipstick of yours on the mirror next to the note

he was irritated at no goodbye but tried to maintain some sort of sanity 

after all the guys all filed out of the beauty room, he kissed the mark you left on the mirror and considered that his parting kiss

grab the note to put it in his pocket and keep by his bed to look at

he also saw you left the lipstick right on the vanity so he took that too

TWITTER WOULD SPIRAL !!!

the casa girls came and they came with the heat let me tell you

but he didn’t give in no no no

though he WAS tempted

he was chatting by the firepit with one of the casa girls and she leaned in to kiss him

he ALMOST fumbled

but he was solid, the plastic component of your lipstick in his back pocket a reminder of who was gonna be waiting for him on the other side

gently shoots the girl down for giving her the wrong impression, “i’m sorry if it seemed like anything else but i miss my girl and i just don’t think kisses outside of challenges are appropriate.”

very respectful

but the girl does not take too kindly to it

he doesn’t care because he likes you

he’s not trippin because like…can she fight? lmao

makes it back to the villa in one piece !!

is running back to you

fidgeting at the firepit because didn’t want to stand there to wait for y’all to officially full on be a couple again

kissing you down when he gets to you

making everyone hold their hearts at the cuteness

closes off with you that night and are the first ones to get in the hideaway !!

everyone voted you guys to go

you wore this amazing baby blue lingerie and he almost lost it

he put you in them fuzzy pink handcuffs that night 

everything is smooth sailing 

in the final 4 

final date is dinner on a yacht then jet skiing on the sunset

then at the finale he would also give a speech that is so cute but so him!!

“i’m not good at words but that’s not an excuse to give a subpar speech because you deserve more than that. you have been so solid and wonderful through this whole experience. i never expected after 2 weeks it’d be me and you but i’m glad we got to harvest a friendship first.” He blushed, looking away from you as you laughed and gave him his time to simmer down. “i’d fall in love with you in any universe. the same way how i’d cook you anything you’d ask me to because you simply deserve it. you deserve to be treated like royalty and you know with me, i’m gonna deliver. you don’t have to lift a finger. you don’t have to worry about anything. not money, not my loyalty, my honesty. you came here to get the man you deserve and i’m here to give you that, baby.” would lift your hand to kiss it as he asked, “will you let me be your boyfriend?”

twitter meltdown—simple as that.

the producers picked good men this season…

y’all won and split—well actually, he gave you all of the prize money !!

every. last. dime.

there’s nothing other to describe him as perfect—he was patient, didn’t hoe around, had intentions and pursued you when it mattered the most. 

ofc he’s the fan favorite and y’all are talked about online for forever as one of the best couples to come out of love island

Jake 심재윤

one of the sweetest guys there like seriously

cinnamon roll™ 

another og

it’s physically impossible to hate him

fans are swooning because they’ve never seen this many hot guys on love island at once

especially when all of them are heartthrobs and have so much potential

jakey is so beloved by the guys because he’s just…a bro

BUT HE GIVES GREAT ADVICE and is pretty chill

also knows how to have fun and is usually the one (besides heeseung) to like initiate a game or something fun to do

the villa can get boring when y’all are just sitting around all day

as for the girls, he gets along very well

he knows he’s good-looking but he doesn’t do too much

that accent gets them

very humble

all of the girls have wanted a piece of him at one point and quite frankly none of them were his type ???

“hey…bro…” he’d say to them, as he sat down with them during chats

so the girls just stayed his friend and didn’t want to embarrass themselves further

went through a depressive period for a few weeks

coupling with girls just to stay alive

until a bombshell, you,—came in.

he legit had all of the guys come to the firepit so he could tell them you were off limits

they listened, except for one

that bastard

some drama arose as there was gonna be a recoupling that sent one of the guys home

this only further incentivized jake to pursue you harder

“hey, can i steal you for chat?” he approaches you as you sat in the kitchen talking to the other guy

he didn’t feel bad, as you said “of course,” he made sure to give the guy a sly look as he placed his arm around your waist as you followed him up to soul ties. 

fans loved him even more now: “ok jakey going after what he wants!!!!” “nah ngl if a cinnamon roll looked at me like that i’d self eliminate fr lmao” “well he said she was off limits *shrug emoji*” “he can’t even be mad at jake like he hasn’t had not one connection the whole time. let him get the girl he wants !!”

he knew he couldn’t sit on his ass and wait for you to come naturally

as he got to know you, he realized you were like him

a hot geek!!

you loved math and science just like him 

you were always correcting people

and somehow you loved the same shows and movies

it’s like you’re him, just the girl version!!

needless to say, he falls fast and hard

he knew how to cook pretty well, so he would make you breakfast every morning 

hot chocolate, with big marshmallows and a waffle

all made from scratch of course!! he took some pointers from jay ;)

the other guy continued to pursue you, to which he encouraged you

he knew what he was there for but who was he to limit you to one connection?

“i’m here for you and i know what i want. but i’m also never gonna tell you to put me above you; if you feel you want to explore then go handle that.” he told you as you settled in between his legs, back against his chest on one of the daybeds. you had your eyes shut as you leaned your head on his shoulder as gently caressed your leg with one hand and your arm with another. relishing in the serenity of the feeling and the waves crashing against each other.

this is right when you knew you weren’t going anywhere

fans also ate this up: “i just need someone to hold me like jake holds her and i’ll be ok, i promise” “i would let him do the most unspeakable things to me, Lord forgive me” “just give me 3 minutes.”

was some part of him anxious as hell? absolutely, but he meant what he said

it was up to you, either way someone was going home

so when you got a text later that afternoon, you read it aloud to everyone (basically screaming it but it’s ok) 

“it’s almost decision time! you must decide where your heart lies. tonight, you will choose who you want to couple up with, and one guy will be sent home. solve for x and see where you end up! #toobadsosad #makingupforlosttime #gotmyanglesonyou”

you flustered at the reminders of the conversations you and jake were having

but it was funny nonetheless

that night at the firepit, you had never see jake so distraught

he spaced out which he like never does but now it was time for you to make your choice

you stood up in your heels, almost shaking but maintaining composure

“i would like to couple up with this boy because he has been so amazing and consistent since my time here.” jake listened to you intently as you spoke, hopefully trying to pick up on something that could indicate that you’d pick him.

“we also get along really well and i feel that in the short time that i’ve been here, we’ve been able to get on pretty well. i know that if we have a chance to further this connection, then something great will be able to come from it.”

ok, he was getting hopeful

“we bond over so many things, and i feel like we mirror each other. people say that it’s hard to be with someone that’s just like you. however, studies show that 89% of couples share the same values and similarities, making them successful and at a lower rate of divorce.”

your fellow islanders laughed at your random, yet endearing factoid

jake just tilted his head as he stared at you lovingly, “that’s my girl,” he whispered to himself

“so the boy i’d like to couple up with is…” 

fingers crossed

surprise. “jake.” you said with a bright smile on your face.

jake wanted to run to you and kiss you until his last dying breath

BUT he had some sort of couth 

he dapped up the guy that he was standing by, he didn’t want to because he felt he was an asshole but still. respect.

then he walked over to you with the brightest smile in the world and hugged you so tight you almost complained but you let him have his moment. “you’re so amazing, baby. you’re mine now,” his whispered into your ear. the mic just barely picked it up.

he pulled back and gave you the gentlest kiss you’ve felt in your life, that you barely even felt

viral moment

it was hard to watch the guy pack his stuff 

yes, he knows that he got you now but after coming to his senses in a way, the guy just wanted to find love the same way they all did

they ended up having a conversation before he left and they squashed the beef

later that night, you and jake showered together

made sure to lock the door, there was like 8 other bathrooms in this big ass house

the others could use another one

BUT it was nothing freaky deaky

just gentle, intimate

you detangled and washed his hair for him 

granted it was very hard to keep his hands off of you

just this perfect body in front of him in this big ass shower where he had ample room to do what he wanted

but he kept it cute, only letting his hands slide south when you let him

but a little kiss didn’t hurt

his hand wrapped around your neck as pulled you to cover his lips with yours. the familiar taste of your lips sending jolts through his body. he groaned at the sensation as you followed. “should’ve done this at the firepit, right in front of that bastard. that way he would’ve known you were really mine all along.”

he left a lil hickey

nothing too crazy

y’all def did it in the bed with everybody there that night though

casa amor rolls around

y’all are doing good even before then

challenges were fun, vibes were on point!!

but just like the others, you bounce without a word. but you also left a note just like heeseung’s girl

“hi jakey !! i’m gonna be gone for a while but not to worry. distance makes the heart grow fonder. i trust you, and i hope you honor me while i’m away because i will do the same for you <3 p.s. i sprayed my perfume on our bed so if a bitch even tries to lie there she’ll be getting a piece of me. hugs and kisses xoxo !!”

he audibly laughed at your note, some tears threatening to escape him but quickly sucked it up

he missed you already, his baby

his little einstein

he tucked the note in his pocket for safe keeping

remember what i said before, the casa girls are coming in hot!!

and jake being the fun—and nice—guy he is, makes the girls feel welcome 

until one of them pulls him for chat and he accepts

she came onto and him for some reason something came over him

to this day he can’t put his finger on if it was the excitement of a new face after seeing the same ones every single day for, what felt like, forever 

or just lack of self control

maybe both

but he fucks her

when the guys found out they were jarred

even heeseung, the resident fuckboy™ wasn’t that wild

needless to say, jake has never felt more disgusted with himself

the support he amassed over the last few goes down the drain as this was one of the biggest twists of the season

i said hee became public enemy #1 before but no, jake was hated BAD!!!

fans were hurt themselves: “bro i feel so bad for y/n, she was everything and more and he just shit on her, fuck jake” “i really don’t believe in love anymore, this is wild” “imagine going thru ALL THAT with a girl that was made for you just to hook up with a random casa girl bc of a ‘minor slip up’ what a loser”

going back to the villa was…a journey to say the least

but when he got back you were smiling

hard

like…you couldn’t wait to see him

him, along with the boys were confused as they all thought that you’d seen what happened due to heeseung just getting heat

but no

you seemed to know nothing

and jake just played along, he didn’t bring anyone back and neither did you

“hello, my einstein,” he hugged you as he spun you around before gently placing you back on the wooden deck of the firepit.

the silence amongst the boys was deafening, there were already tensions due to heeseung’s situation, but the girls still tried to be happy for you and cheer you on. them clearly being oblivious to what really went down.

a few days passed and jake carried along as normal as he could, still consulting jay about this hole in chest called guilt that he couldn’t shake. he had to tell you.

until sunghoon’s girl got a text, she beckoned all of them to front

“islanders, it’s time for movie night! watch some exclusive clips from your time in the villa and casa amor! grab your seats and watch some dirty truths be unveiled. #nosecretshere #lightscameradrama”

everyone looked at each other with unsure looks, the boys getting glared and cold stares left and right. 

you felt terrible, “i feel so bad, i know [heeseung’s girl] went through so much the last few days. i’d hate for her to have to almost relive it, you know?” you said to jake, to which he hugged you with a small ‘yeah’

everyone gathered around and it was time to pick which “movie” y’all wanted to watch

they chose ‘experiment gone wrong’

and that was when you saw it

jake tonguing down this girl, which stung, but ok this was during a challenge so nothing crazy

the next clip cut to them talking at the firepit and he was just giggling it up

then they kissed

which was more than enough to make your heart feel like it smashed into a million pieces

then the next clip was of them making out on yours and his shared bed

then he covered both of them with the comforter as the camera moved to a new angle where they threw their clothes onto the floor from beneath the sheets

then on the outside on the firepit right where they were, laid the note you left for him before you left

then it faded to black

the silence was deafening

the girl’s right by you sat in shock as you were all equally.

the first to break the silence was jungwon’s girl “so y’all knew?”

the boys were all looking down in shame

silence. crickets.

you wanted so badly to say something but your voice simply wouldn’t allow you

you just remember breaking down into jungwon’s girl’s arms as she rested her hand on your head, stroking your head to give you some consolation as the rest of the girl’s cursed them out.

jake just sat there, tears in his eyes as croaked out, “i didn’t mean to—”

“what didn’t mean to do what? she trusted you, we all did! y’all are some grimy ass people for not even letting one of us know. like you didn’t have to tell her. at least one of us and we could’ve done something!”

“jake you are such a piece of shit”

“i know,” he whimpered, leaning back into the couch

“if you’re capable of keeping some shit like that from her then you’re capable of anything.”

he knew what the girls were saying was true to some–well, a huge extent. but he wasn’t looking at them. 

he was looking at you break down over something that he did out of pure tactlessness

the producers didn’t let you get up until the clips were done being shown but as soon as they were done, you sped walked right inside

knowing jake was hot on your tail

before you can ever get past even the middle of the yard space he catches up you

“y/n please,” he says, pleading. “i can explain,”

you looked at him, with nothing but pure pain and desolation, “explain what? your dick just somehow slipped inside her on accident?”

he shook his head, “baby—”

that was when you snapped, yelling at for the first time ever. “no! you lost the privilege to call me that! i’m nothing to you, do you hear me? nothing! you are a sick and twisted individual. nevermind the hooking up thing because a part of me expected it. men will be men, but for you to have days to tell me and you let me find out along with everyone else?”

“please, can we just talk about this somewhere else?” his voice cracked as he began to sob, not caring if all of your peers were watching

“you’re such a con artist, you made me believe you. made me believe that everything was fine and dandy between us and that i was like the one for you—”

“but you are, you are—” he grabbed his hair, pulling it from stress and frustration. “gosh, you are! i just fucked up—”

“i gave you my body, jake. does that not mean anything to you?”

he sobbed loudly, not even caring how he looked anymore. “yes! it means everything just please understand me!” he grabbed your shoulders to hopefully make you listen. “i fucked up. i know i’m a shitty person for doing that and i know i’m even shittier than lying to you like this and keeping you in the dark. but please trust me when i say that it was a mistake and will never happen again.”

“you’ve shown me who you are, jake. i’m taking it for what it is. you’ve made your choice and it wasn’t me.” you said, cold and distant

choking back sobs as he tries to reach for you again. “y/n, please. i’m begging you. don’t do this. i’ll do anything. i’ll make it right, just give me a chance.”

“fuck you, jake.”

jungwon’s girl ends up sleeping with you outside that night

jake cries himself to sleep, even though he could barely do that

the next day you were more angry than hurt

when he brought you breakfast, you threw it out the window right in front of face

you’re like 60% sure bits of the eggs ended up in the pool

everytime he tried to talk to you, you ignored him

if he asked to pull you for a chat while you speaking to someone, you continued talking as if he wasn’t standing there, literally begging you for a conversation

he was vapor to you and it wasn’t fun being like this but he needed to be punished

until one recoupling, he decides to self-eliminate

this rippled shock throughout the villa, even you

during his final speech, “i felt like i came here to find a connection. i did, and regardless of how it turned out, i’m so grateful for the time that i did get with that person. i know i did the most…distasteful things but i also know that forgiveness comes with time and it shouldn’t be on your terms.” he looked at you with longing eyes, “y/n, i love you,” 

the L word in love island is like…unheard of almost like oh my god ??/?/?/ so your stomach was in knots

“and i will do anything to see you happy, baby, always. if that means being free from me than i’ll do it and i will let you have the experience you so rightfully deserve, so…that’s why i’d like to go home. i got what i came here for.”

there were definitely tears from everyone in the villa

jake had been everyone’s best friend so to see him go was hard

you and him exchanged longing glances and a gentle nod before he walked out and the ‘loves me not’ sign flashes

you ended up leaving the following week

you just wandered about aimlessly

bombshells came but none of them compared to jake 

you were eliminated and was actually glad to go home and see your family after all these months

definitely sad because at this point, you spent so much time and gotten along well with everyone that they considered you an og at this point

but you left with your chest held high

but as soon as you got your phone back you saw you sat at a good 2M followers on instagram, which was like 1,999,900 million more than you came in here with.

you took a look at your dm’s and saw a familiar face text you:

“hey gorgeous,

i know you probably won’t see this for a while, but i couldn’t just leave things unsaid. i’ve spent so much time thinking about everything, and i know there’s no excuse for what i did. i messed up, badly. i hurt you, and i’ll never be able to fully fix that, no matter how much i wish i could. but i need you to know that i’m truly sorry. not just for what i did, but for letting you down in ways that went beyond just that moment.

i was selfish. i let my insecurities and confusion get the better of me, and in doing so, i betrayed your trust. i lied to you, and i let you believe things were okay when they weren’t. the worst part is, i knew better. i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i still did it. i don’t expect forgiveness from you, not after what i did, but i hope you can eventually find it in yourself to heal from this.

you deserve someone who values you and respects you, someone who sees you for who you truly are, not just in the moments when things are easy. i failed you in that regard. i let you down in front of everyone, and i’m sorry for that. but i want you to know that i will always think of you, and no matter what happens, you’ll always be important to me.

i don’t know if you’ll ever want to talk to me again, and honestly, i wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. i’m not asking for forgiveness, and i’m not asking for anything except that you take care of yourself, y/n. you deserve the world. and i’ll keep working on becoming someone better, even if it’s too late for us.

i hope that wherever you are, you’re finding peace and happiness. i’ll be here if you ever want to reach out, but i understand if you need time or if you don’t ever want to. just know i’m thinking of you, and i’ll always be rooting for you. i wouldn’t change a thing if it meant i got to experience the beauty that is you.

take care of yourself. you were more than everything to me. i love you einstein.

your jakey <3

ok that felt like a gut punch

you sat there, on your bed wondering your next move

then you got to typing

Sunghoon 박성훈

he’s for sure a bombshell

one of the bombshells that comes in the blind kissing challenges to confuse all of the girls

he’s had his eye on you for a while 

so when he gets to kiss you, he’s more than prepared to rock your world

he takes his time with you as he runs a gentle finger down your lips to the valley of your breasts as he pulls you closer by your hips

then he pulled you in so your lips could meet his and it was up from there

everyone was so confused 

“jake?” “nah that's not him”

“heeseung?” “nah he’s not as aggressive”

the boys were in complete shock, some of there were dying laughing

others bitter because he was kissing their girls lmaooo

when the girls took their blindfolds off, they were screaming in shock

you laughed something serious!!

but when you got a look at sunghoon, you were also very shook

he was…scarily beautiful, like he almost made you feel insecure lmao

but he couldn’t stop looking at you

you and the girls congregated after that to discuss details

“yo, he’s hot as fuck” “he’s gorgeous” “y’all don’t even know what to do with all that”

the fans were thrown. they were gagged. 

TWITTER WAS SCREAMINGGG “#needthat”

the guys all whispered about him, impressed that he came in with such a bang

others, whose couples weren’t so steady in their couples were worried

but they saw how he kissed you

he wanted you

during the challenge where america weighs in on what they feel about them

he gets voted to be like the biggest fuckboy

which again, makes heeseung laugh because he was that was his thing™ 

everyone even voted him too, so to hear america’s thoughts made the girls think the world knew something they didn’t

but back to sunghoon

his feelings were a little hurt

he wasn’t sure if it was the way he looked that gave people that impression

but he never kissed any girls outside of challenges so it didn’t make much sense

sure he had his fun outside of the villa

but he knew that he was going to be on national television, so he did try to dial it back

you were very turned off by this

you admitted in the confessionals, “i’ve had my fair share of fuckboys. i even knew by coming here that i wasn’t exempt from them! so to be real, i’m not shocked. i mean look at him. i’d be hurt if he wasn’t sharing the fun with other people.”

he’s annoyed by it but doesn’t let it phase him

now onto you guys

at this point, you’re pretty solid in your original connection

sunghoon didn’t really gaf lmao

he was a bombshell, he wasn’t supposed to be peaceful 

he had a talk with your connection in front of the guys

“i’m sorry but i’m here to step on toes and i really don’t care if you don’t like that. i’m not here to make friends.”

your connection nodded with a ‘challenge accepted’ type of smile

so let the games begin

he pursued you down

a solid week and a half of him and your partner fighting for you

until heeseung is bored one night and wants to play a game: truth or dare

“y/n, truth or dare”

now you knew better than to accept a dare from any of these hooligans, “truth.”

“do you think your connection is solid enough to survive me being here?” he leans forward, resting his head on his hands with a smile

wow

so you didn’t have anything to say

you literally plead the fifth 

and that caused some drama and needless to say, you and your partner argued that night

“so, one guy just comes around and all of a sudden i’m not enough for you?”

“i never said that, you’re just insecure and plus it’s not that serious. this is love island. i came here for me, who are you to hinder me from my experience?”

he slept outside that night

sunghoon slept with a smile on his that night

the next morning, he asked around what you liked for breakfast and brought it to you while you were doing your makeup

you thanked him politely, not liking him for basically prophesying your couple’s misfortune

he knew what happened and was capitalizing off of it

fans easily saw this and thought the same, not entirely liking sunghoon and calling him a little bit of weirdo

“he’s hot but something about bro seems sketchy”  “is he a witch or sumn??? does bro have crystals and sage in his suitcase??? wtf is going on” “i agree with the discourse but why am i kinda eating this up tho”

you were chatting with jay’s girl and then he pulls you for a chat, to which you agreed reluctantly “sure”

y’all went to the chairs by the beach. he sat on one and you sat across from him

“so? rough night?” 

“do you have a problem with me?”

“no. i just want you.”

“you’re so weird, i mean i appreciate that you’re trying to be nice to me in your own sick way. but i don’t play games.”

he smiled, “i’m not playing with you, though. i just held up a mirror.”

“you’re serious?”

“think about it, i didn’t do anything. i just asked you one question and he did the rest.”

you resigned

ok he was right, i mean

your partner was bugging out because he was threatened by another man

“obviously i’ll leave you alone if you want me to but it won’t exactly help your situation.”

“you some type of mind reader or something?”

“i don’t need to read minds. i just need to pay attention. and i’ve been watching for a while. what i’m seeing isn’t really about me, it’s about what you’re not saying.”

fuck it

you stood up and walked toward to him as you straddled his hips

he smiled gently as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. and yours around his neck as you kissed officially

some of your fellow islanders were eavesdropping and and watching from behind the deck and they silently cheered

as you pulled back, “did i say enough?”

biting his lip, he nodded as he rested his hand on the back of your head. “yeah,” the other head rubbed your thighs on either side of him.

you pulled away from the kiss and the tension lingered but he kept his grip on your thigh. as if he was scared you’d pull away. 

“what are you thinking, pretty girl?” his voice took on a new tone. that sarcastic, patronizing inflection long gone. 

“i think you knew exactly what you were doing.” you laughed

he smiled, your laugh actually giving him butterflies “maybe,” the head that rested on your head moved to your cheek as he stroked it gently. “just want to make you feel wanted,”

your connection ended up getting eliminated at recoupling (womp womp)

since sunghoon came late, casa was only a week later

a part of him was excited to explore more options

you didn’t leave a note, which kinda stung

but there wasn’t anything to do about it so he just continued as normal

he kissed a few girls, brought one back :(

definitely pissed you off!!

lowkey he got your frustration but it’s only been a week!!

“it’s not like we’re married or anything, i’m just tryna explore my options.”

to which you understood, didn’t make the embarrassment any easier

you were so mad you didn’t bring a guy back either

fans felt validated that their suspicions were right “see??? i knew i wasn’t buggin. he’s a hoe.” “i get that it’s been a week but he could’ve been a little nicer about it like damn” “the audacity to chase her and put her other connection at risk when he could’ve just kept it cool?? he just wanted screen time fr” “this sounds crazy but not even heeseung is this bad” “he wants to be heeseung sooo baddd LMFAOO”

not hated, but not liked either

y’all fizzle out and he partners with the casa girl 

you get eliminated at that recoupling

you guys hug before you leave and reconcile

no beef

no static

he’d def reach out after everything tho

Copyright: © zorange13. 2024. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.

[spdrvyn]

YOU'RE HERE, THAT'S THE THING — [ wc: 1.7k. college au. fluff-ish? ] nothing cute about uni life. nothing to romanticize about pulling off all-nighters. unless... ?

now that i think about this is the first miguel fic i've written that's not adjacent with spiderverse canon world-building wise 🤔 also kinda silly of me to write a college fic when i'm not even in college so be warned i'll sound probably like a dumbass but hope you guys enjoy anyway!

7:23PM in the evening. Twenty hours until your essay was due.

The blonded hues of the setting sun reflected onto your laptop’s screen, currently open with a completely blank Google Document and nary a draft or outline in sight. As the ice in your half-empty coffee had almost thoroughly melted, you realized that you were completely fucked.

Originally, there was a study group that you were intended on joining somewhere at the start of the week. Hell, you guys shared Notion calendars and made an entire group chat. Only when you courageously sent a message last night asking for a rain check on the plans, you were left on read and down one-hundred dignity points.

That’s how you ended up here, waiting for the adrenaline from the impending deadline to set in. The condensation from your drink wets your palm uncomfortably as you take a sad, bitter sip. Someone could be writing a story about your defeat, writing a ten-page analysis about it, and submitting it at least three days before the deadline like a normal person with a sense of urgency.

When you shut your laptop and concede to the pressure, Miguel walks in to your shared dorm. With thick textbooks and an open backpack slung over one of his shoulders, he pauses at the sight of you. “I thought you’d be out.”

The reminder that your group abandoned you sours your mood even more, you tersely reply: “They ghosted me.”

“Oh,” Miguel tries to sound sympathetic, but it’s obvious that he’s also struggling with a final of some kind with how he ushers all of his belongings to the table you’re currently occupying. He’s told you before that he rarely ever joins study groups, which makes sense. You’ve noticed he’s self-reliant and efficient to an almost terrifying degree when it comes to his academics, awake at ungodly hours of the night to pinch the highest grade that there is. If anything, it’s more likely that he’ll offer to tutor other people.

“What’s on your roster for tonight? I’ve got an essay,” You swiftly put on your document tab again, motivated by how he’s already flipping through his books and copying down notes on his tablet. God, you wished you could just start studying like that.

“Final tomorrow, haven’t started reviewing yet. I basically spent the last two days at the lab for my other final.” He’s writing at a speed that should be considered superhuman, all while he’s answering your pesky questions.

You don’t want to move to another spot, because it would seem rude. Not like his presence is unwelcome, his studiousness just makes you really, really envious. Also the fact that both of you are majoring in completely different subjects.

Majoring in Arts in Literature, while he majors in Genetic Engineering can cause difficulty whenever explaining plans to each other. Miguel puts in the effort to not confuse you with the STEM jargon while you try not to ramble about your current readings and explaining your interpretations of them to someone else instead of writing them down on paper to, you know, submit.

Either way, it hasn’t caused any big miscommunications with being so different and all. You hope he doesn’t mind you beginning to working with him too, as you shyly type a thesis statement into your assignment. Another sip of your coffee, sounds of Miguel scrawling, and you think you may be ready to take this assignment head-on.

~

12:40AM into the night. Fifteen hours until your essay is due.

Shockingly enough, you were able to finish three pages out of five. The grammar so far is probably going to drag you down by fifteen points and you usually send it to your friends to proofread, but it clearly isn’t an option given what time of the day it is right now. It’s still a lot better than the end you saw for yourself when you were left dangling on the edge of failure by your study group.

The caffeine had completely worn off by now, and your coffee had been drained somewhere around an hour ago. When that happens, you usually start to get antsy and it’s even harder to keep the momentum going and when that happens, you take a break and go for a walk or something.

Which is what you’re about to do, as you stand up, but you realize that Miguel is sitting still as a statue in front of one of his books and his eyes scan the words on the page, over and over again. You can’t tell if he’s also losing focus or if he’s knee-deep in focus.

“Miguel,” He sighs when you call his name and the noise makes you wince, fearing that you’ve upset him. “Uhm, I’m going to take a walk. Do you wanna come with?”

It’s an offer that you thought for sure he wasn’t going to take.

What you don’t expect however is for him to slam his reading shut, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose before getting up from his seat. With a huff of, “Sure.”

“Oh- we can go for a coffee run if that’s what you want. I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”

“Ok. Me neither.”

“Great, that’s- that’s great.”

~

Both of you stew in the (semi) comfortable silence as you make the trek from your dorm room and out to the expanse of the campus.

You realize how brisk a walk can become with Miguel considering how abnormally tall he is. Granted, you recognize his subtle effort to slow down for you when he notices how winded you got after only five minutes on the way to the gas station.

It’s a new height that you’ve reached with him, not like you never wanted to grow closer with him or anything. He is your roommate after all, so it only makes sense. Although despite your love for reading that has fender-bendered into a Literature degree in the making, you were never too great at reading people. Miguel is one of the hardest people to read considering his outward stoicism, and both of you being naturally introverted didn’t help at all.

Still, this was the perfect time in your life to make new friends and life-lasting connections. Besides you would also consider yourself pretty pathetic if you wouldn’t be able to make a new one out of your roommate, A.K.A someone who is confined to a room with you for a whole school year. Literally no other choice but to do so.

You wonder if he feels the same way too, but asking each other of your first impressions is a conversation that is really only befitting for people that have been together for years. A status that you have no idea that you’ll ever achieve with him someday.

Though you are quickly broken out of your kind of depressing spiral when Miguel opens the door to the store for you, with a muttered ‘thank you’ you behold the fluorescent lights and hint of smoke. The walk to the coffee machine is instinctive, and you pluck a bag of spicy chips from the shelf on the way. Miguel follows suit, only he picks a bag of pretzels and a pack of gum.

The dispenser chokes out a splatter of coffee into your plastic cup and you flinch at the noise, Miguel spares you a glance but goes back to fidgeting with the pointed edges of his pretzel bag.

“So, what’s your final about?” It’s a stupid question being completely transparent, but fuck it. You’re bored, and the silence only gets more uncomfortable the longer both of you keep quiet.

“Genetic inheritance, the traits passed down from a parent onto a child. That kind of thing,” He muses. “And you?”

“Oh, Les Miserables essay. Five pages total.”

“Long book, and long film.”

Your cup is nearly on the tip of overflowing so you quickly slide it out and put one under for Miguel. “Yeah, I had to do a re-read because it’s been a while. I only finished around two days ago and I started it again at the beginning of the month.”

He gives you an honest chuckle, you take it and you think you’ll remember the sound forever. “One of my, uh, friends sat me down to watch the movie. Fell asleep halfway through, but I do remember it being decent in the parts that I was awake.”

“Well if I can find a totally legal recording of the stage play, maybe that would pique your interest more.”

When you look up at him, he smiles and it might be the happiest you’ve seen him ever since becoming acquainted with each other. It’s not a lot, but you feel over the moon over a small talk about your stupid essay.

…Your stupid essay!

You cut the moment short by haphazardly closing the lids on both of your coffees, you hand it to Miguel who starts to emanate your hurried energy and the walk back to your dorm is very swift.

~

Morning. Some time before your essay is due.

That is what you can assume anyway, the sun is back and its rays peek at you from the gaps in the blinds. Your hair is a frazzled mess as you lift your head off of the pillow which is perched up against the armrest on the sofa, the blanket on top of you shifts, and this was also… definitely not where you fell asleep last night.

You were expecting neck and back pain, along with a mild headache once you woke up. As you came to the sloppy completion of your work, you called it a night, slammed your laptop shut, and decided to just sleep right then and there. Doing your night routine and getting into bed would simply be too much time and work when you probably wouldn’t even be getting that much rest anyway.

There’s a fresh glass of water on the coffee table and a sticky note from Miguel, who you could only assume was the one who put you here.

‘Had to head out early for my exam. Good luck with your essay, there’s food on the counter.’

You slump back into your makeshift bed and pull out your phone from your back pocket, there’s still seven hours until your essay is due and you only need around two for revisions.

Maybe you could sleep in just a little longer, dream about conversations that will never happen, cafe dates that never come to be. But after last night, rather earlier this morning, those odds shift in your favor.

[ssentimentals]

hihi love!! i’m so obsessed w your work 😭😭 you just do such a good job writing ajdhjshdhw 🥺🩷🩷

could i request hurt prompt 35 w woozi pls? a happy ending would be nice but it doesn’t have to be!! tysm love🥹🩷

- 🫧

hihi babie!! omg this is so nice?? thank you so much for being this kind!! hopefully you will like your request 💜

hurt prompt: 'i'm not sure how many coffees it takes for me to be happy, but so far, it's not twelve.'

'i feel like i should be happy and excited for the festive season but i just can't.' you mutter, adjusting your earphones. 'it's just been so shitty at work lately, you know? i don't have it in me to actually feel anything.'

your best friend lets you let it all out. she lets you go on and on about the work, your rant ending only when you come closer to your house. you also wanted to discuss jihoon with her, but that is going to wait for another time then. hanging you up, you sigh, slowing your stride. everything's been shitty lately not only at work; your relationship with jihoon started to crack as well. it's not very obvious, but the breach was formed and you feel like you both are just drifting further and further apart each day. coming home used to be the best part of your day, but now it's ad dreadful as going to work and it's just- sad. sadder than that is only your complete lack of any desire to do anything about it.

'welcome home,' jihoon greets, when you come in. he notices slight frown at your forehead and cautiously asks: 'is everything okay?'

'mhm.' you try to smile, but it comes off more as a grimace. 'how are you? have you already eaten? if yes i can just-'

'no,' jihoon interrupts. 'i waited for you.'

you blink. that is... new. you both didn't wait for each other last two months. your heart skips a beat at this, small flicker of hope reignites in your chest. this time you smile for real: 'oh, thank you. can you heat it up then? warm food will make me very happy now.'

jihoon smiles. 'i thought coffee makes you happy?'

'not right now. 'i'm not sure how many coffees it takes for me to be happy, but so far, it's not twelve.'

you quickly change and come back to the kitchen right at the time of jihoon setting up the table. you both work in silence; you feel tongue-tied, not knowing what to say and how to ask simple things. when it became so awkward to just be with jihoon? you eat in silence too, or more like you both push your food around the plate, not looking up at each other. it's incredibly tense and you're surprised that jihoon is the one who snaps first with a humourless chuckle: 'this is not working, is it?'

you can argue, of course. you can remind him that it's not working because of him. you can start fighting again. instead, you agree. 'yeah, it's.. not.'

jihoon nods. he's staring at his plate intently like leftover meatballs have answers to his question. when he looks up, his gaze is filled with hesitance and hope: 'do you want it? to work?'. he licks his lips, quickly adding: 'because i do. i just- past few months were hard. i sucked, i know. but like, i- i want this. to work. do you?'

crying with meatballs in your mouth is really not the best thing you can do, but you can't stop tears from falling down. swallowing without chewing and choking on the food, you quickly down your glass of water and let out sincere: 'i do. i'm sorry, i sucked too.'

jihoon nods. he looks like he wants to laugh at your red face from choking, but he wisely holds himself back. 'okay. then,' he takes a deep breath, 'we will finish this now and go to bed and talk about it.'

you nod. 'we can come up for something to get us into holiday mood?' you suggest hesitantly.

jihoon brightens up at this. 'yeah, sounds good.'

you both smile at each other and hope inside your chest flickers stronger than before. jihoon reaches out across the table and takes your hand in his. flicker of hope turns into a burning fire.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[whateverisbeautiful]

I love waking up and reading your Richonne posts. You pretty much hit on every scene and I am so thankful for that.

Could you go over maybe a 2 part take of what you think had happened during the months of them getting to know each other during the prison times. Also, the months they got close together in Alexandria before they became official. Since, the show robbed of us seeing those scenes. I would love to hear your detailed theory on it because you know these two characters so well!

A 2-parter? You’re speaking my language, anon. 😋 Thank you for this message. 🙏🏽 And for some reason my mind read this ask and added in “a detailed play-by-play” of what I think happened and so that’s pretty much what I ended up writing. Starting with Part One - the time in between Seasons 3 and 4 at the prison that led to Rick and Michonne being like this in the season 4 premiere ⬇️💗:

I always like to think about what specific context from the actual show could most inform these type of unseen scenarios and then shape what I envision from there. So I first started thinking about where Rick and Michonne landed in the season 3 finale. 

If I remember correctly they both rode in the car together after saying their goodbyes to Andrea, and Daryl drove the bus. I feel like that car ride might have laid another small stepping stone toward growing Rick and Michonne’s fondness for each other. I don’t imagine that they even talked much in the car because it was a somber vibe after losing Andrea. But I can picture Rick seeing Michonne quietly emotional in the car, and for reasons he’s not fully aware of yet seeing her upset affects him and his want to comfort her is stronger than he’d expect.

I can picture something like when they pull up to the prison after Woodbury, Rick just lets her know that Andrea isn’t the only one who thinks it’s good that Michonne found them. And the silence after is so clearly his “I’m glad too.” But you know how back then Rick tended to say something that felt like it was almost going to be a profession about his fondness for her but then he’d sorta retreat - I think he’d do that and just add that they all are glad she’s with them. And Michonne would just give an appreciative smile and walk away because she’d still be pretty heartbroken over losing yet another person she cared about. 

Then I think going forward, that loss, on top of the loss of her boyfriend and baby, makes Michonne maintain a friendly distance from everyone in team family for a while. Like she’s always keeping herself busy by independently tending to tasks that help around the prison, going on runs, and trying to track down The Governor. But Rick still keeps an eye on her from afar.

And if I remember correctly, because it’s been a minute since I’ve watched these seasons, Rick and Michonne both weren’t members of that new committee that was formed. So I can imagine that maybe there were times when some of the other people closest to them were in meetings or away which may have prompted Rick and Michonne to chat a bit more - but still keeping it light and brief, not having extended conversations yet. Perhaps both would find themselves observing each other at times - Michonne seeing Rick out farming, Rick seeing Michonne out taking down walkers around the prison’s perimeter. Except maybe not watching her with binoculars this time lol.

Then, going off of info from s4, I think during these months that we didn’t see something that might’ve slowly but surely made Michonne lessen some of her lone wolf ways is when Daryl asks her to join him on runs. She agrees to go with him and they build a friendship.

And then whenever Michonne is back at the prison she starts getting closer to Carl too because they bond over things like books and comics. And perhaps Michonne and Carl especially bond when she brings back a bag of candy for him after one of her runs. They share some together and learn Michonne doesn’t mind the stale M&M's, and that becomes a running joke between them. 😊

So with Michonne getting closer to two of the people closest to Rick - Carl and Daryl - that starts bringing Rick and Michonne around each other more often too in a more social context. And this is where that crush we saw had clearly formed by the s4 premiere really starts taking root.

Like Michonne and Carl build this really natural, lighthearted, playful rapport and then it leads to Michonne lightly joking with Rick too. I picture that Rick is a bit bashful around her but they still occasionally have that flirty subtle-but-not-subtle “must’ve been something else then”/“you want to drive” type exchanges.

And Daryl definitely peeps these moments at times and knows you don’t even have to be an observant tracker to pick up on the stuff between Rick and Michonne. But he keeps those observations to himself...for the most part lol.

Michonne has playful banter with Daryl too but subconsciously she can feel that her exchanges with Rick feel different. And Rick loves it whenever Michonne spends time with them around the prison. It feels like family. 

Other TWD scenes that I think give a glimpse into what that time between s3 and s4 might've looked like are when Rick asks if she’s okay after she hurts her ankle, and when Rick washes up and asks if Michonne needs help with cleaning up those walker bodies. Lots of exchanges like that going on. Showing they care and like each other but are moving slowly toward really getting close.

And through these exchanges - of which it’s rarely ever just the two of them in private because Carl or people are usually always around - Rick and Michonne start to pick up on more and more things they like about each other.

I like to imagine that perhaps whenever the community had some downtime in the evenings or nights, it’d so often end up being Michonne, Carl, and Rick hanging around each other. With Judith there too sometimes, who Michonne seems to keep this subtle distance from as the baby triggers too painful a wound. 

But when Michonne starts to really care for them and feels herself getting closer to them - finding herself thinking about Rick and Carl while on runs and looking forward to their little exchanges - she starts going out further and further to look for the Governor - and subconsciously, part of that is to distance herself.

Rick isn’t crazy about her going off alone to find a certified madman but only really shows his disagreement in facial expression and maybe an occasional remark to Daryl about how he wants her to be safe. (And Daryl knows Rick wants that and more when it comes to Michonne, ijs.).

Maybe one time Rick does mention to Michonne that she doesn’t have to go out so much or so far but she’s adamant that it is something she has to do - hence why she makes that “It’s worth a shot" comment when she’s talking to Rick and Daryl in the s4 premiere.

She might already know Rick feels a type of way about her going on these missions cuz he briefly mentioned it before (and because he can't help but wear his emotions right on his face lol), but her subconscious also knows that staying around Rick too long is too vulnerable and wakes up too much within her that she thought died a while ago. 

Finally, I picture that there’s one night when Rick, Michonne, and Carl are just enjoying some downtime chatting together as usual but then either Carl falls asleep or somehow he leaves to talk with one of the kids around the prison and it’s a rare moment where it’s just Rick and Michonne together.

And that night they start talking on a more personal level. They don’t divulge their life stories or anything because I don’t think they really deep-dived into getting to know each other like that until the second half of season 4. But in this conversation, they do open up just a bit more and give more insight into how they think and operate, which they refreshingly find to be quite similar. And in the areas they learn that they’re different - they find that refreshing too.

And I like to think that their talk on this one night was one of those things where -  you know how people say they were conversing with their person in the early stages of getting to know them and they just never wanted the moment to end and they could have stayed talking to that person forever and damn near do talk to them for more hours than they realized? It was like that. 

Rick and Michonne both know in the deeper parts of their psyche that spending that time together just felt right. Falling for each other is still something they're doing subconsciously rather than cognizantly at this point, but what they are aware of is that they do enjoy each other a lot. And how right it feels to spend time with each other also subconsciously scares them a bit. Almost like it’s too right too fast. So those walls go right back up after that conversation ends and they don’t really get a chance to talk on that personal of a level again until the prison falls.

Even though deep down both of them really would like to have that time together again, and low-key Rick is so eager for another chance to just be around her like that, that just hearing her riding back from one of her outings has him springing up from his farming session with Hershel in order to run and greet her and ask if she’s going to stay a little while. 

And that’s my take on what I think happened between Richonne in the time between season 3 and season 4. 👌🏽😌

And Anon, you know you’ve tempted me with a good time by asking to have a part two about the time between No Way Out and Richonne’s canon episode The Next World. So I'll try and have a (possibly less lengthy 😅) Part Two on the way soon. 😊

[catsannie]

IM JUST EMBARRASSED

SYNOPSIS~ when your friends reach out saying you need to be more “social” and need to talk to more people, your friend tells you she “knows a guy” for you to get aquatinted with, what she didn’t tell you is he’s in another country and doesn’t speak the same language. will this work out?

AUTHORS NOTE ~ heyyyyy guys im starting to get back into writing this again, ive just been so busy 😔 but i hope yall enjoy this chapter! i apologize if its boring and if its ass😭, im still getting back into the hang of things

previous | masterlist | next

Putting down her phone defeated, y/n looks over at the character that has been idling on her island. ‘why did i have to say i only knew animal crossing, i could have lied. or tried to change the conversation to something else.”

As she was about to turn off the switch a buzzing came from the couch. Looking towards the phone, it was yeri.

“Hey yeri, what’s up?” Y/N asked while trying to put everything away.

“you’re never going to believe who i got a message from!!” she squealed. Knowing yeri it was either a new guy she was talking to, or seunghun and yonghee trying to get her help on something.

“i don’t know yeri, was it seunghun telling you he got his foot stuck in a pot again?” Y/N asked. Knowing seunghun it was a possibility. “cause i can’t deal with having to put butter around his ankle because he’s too afraid to break the pot.”

“uhhhhh no, it was San!” Yeri exclaimed. “ he felt bad with how the conversation went and wants to try again!”

With a sigh, Y/N sat back down on her couch, ‘San? feel bad? why would he feel bad?’ does he just want to feel bad cause he can? or is there another reason. “Yeri, why does he feel bad? i should be the one feeling bad, cause clearly animal crossing wasn’t the greatest answer to give him.”

It was embarrassing. Since he clearly didn’t play the game or possibly like it. But there are more conversations to have that does not involve video games that neither of them play… for certain reasons.

“It is just who he is as a person Y/N. He feels bad that he asked a stupid question and didn’t ask a more straight forward one. He was also nervous.” Yeri Added. Y/N could hear some shuffling from the other end of the phone, yeri was either fidgeting because she’s nervous or getting onto her couch.

At this point, she was willing to play the long game. Test out the waters with San and see where things go. It could either go good and she learns the language, or it goes bad like all the other men she’s talked to in the past.

“Fine Yeri, if that’s how he feels about it i’ll send him a message tomorrow. I just want to turn off my switch and watch some tv. My brain is fried.” Y/N chuckled while picking up the switch controller.

“Your brain wouldn’t be fried if you went outside instead of playing animal crossing all day. But anyways, i’ll talk to you later i think seunghun actually got his foot stuck in a pot.” Yeri sighed while abruptly hanging up.

It was a normal occurrence for their friendship, Yeri being the sweetheart of them all. She sees the good in everyone, it doesn’t matter if you screwed her over in the past. If there was one person Y/N could trust with her life it was Yeri.

Looking at the time on her phone, Y/N stands up and cracks her back.

“yeah it’s about time i get my ass off this couch and do something.” Y/N mumbles while turning off the console.

Tomorrow will be the day she reaches out to San again to have an actual conversation.

TAGLIST~

@tiddygang2020 @1lovejinki @astrid-potato @potatos-on-clouds @staytinyluv

[dandylovesturtles]

Now that 2024 is coming to a close:

1) Of everything you've made this year, which ones are you the most proud of?

2) What are a few of your favorite things (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(Gonna apologize in advance that this answer won’t have specific links because I moved fast)

1. Well, this year I finished I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good, which was a major accomplishment for me! It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I was really proud of myself for sticking it out to the end. It got way bigger than I ever expected, and big thanks again to everyone who came on the ride with me.

Of the things I started this year, my favorite has been the emotional support water bottles AKA Room Fic. Kind of insane to think I came up with the first one while eating lunch and dropped all my plans for the afternoon to write the whole thing in one day lol! I hope to get the last followup done soon, I’ve just had a little trouble getting my mojo.

There’s another project I started this year that I hoped to have out already but maybe sometime in the first part of next year. I’m excited to share it when it’s done!

2. Oh boy I’ll try to get everything!

I of course enjoyed some ongoing projects this year, including Replica AU by @kathaynesart, Sep Leo AU by @dianagj-art, 2 Arms Left by @intotheelliwoods, Adagio in Green by @boxfullaturtles, and Empyrean Weeping by @cupcakeslushie! Also shoutout to the @tizeline Sep AU where Donnie is the most chaotic only child, and @vangh17a ‘s Wanderer comic which is beautiful and intriguing.

@remedyturtles broke all our hearts with Firefight this year and I had a great time teaming up during the AU Comp! Also LOVED their fic about third man syndrome, but I’m always a sucker for Leo and his papa.

I love everything @goodlucktai has ever written but I especially loved the recent A Team fics and also the Archer AU! Gio is so precious

On the subject of lost siblings, I am privileged to be the beta reader for @kiaxet ‘s fic Siblingquest. Cissy is also precious, and I’m really excited about Kia’s future plans for the story!

And there’s just been a ton of great art this year from so many people, including @e-turn @trilobitepunch @koolaidashley and so many others. I know I’m missing so many people but this community is just full of talented, amazing artists!

And finally, my biggest love and shoutout for this year goes to @untitled-tmnt-blog , who not only makes GORGEOUS art pieces, but who made me a whole physical BOOK for IMBI!! Seriously the most touching thing anyone has ever done for me. PLEASE check out untitled’s art (and writing!) because everything she does is amazing.

And so many others who have talked with me about this fun show and who listen to me rambling about my endless AU ideas. You are all so cool. Here’s to 2025!

And thanks for the ask!

[the-cauldron-witch]

Howdy T'Witch! It makes me so happy that you got your blog all up and designed! Those are big days and I’m happy that it looks so good! Hopefully you think so too!

I say that your writing requests were open and I’d love to pick your brain on some light angst if you’re up for it! No worries if you ain’t because hey understandable. The holidays be crazyyyyyy 🤪

But maybe to something to think about if you’re bored and whatever. But I wanted to ask on how do you think the Bayverse Boys would respond to you (y/n) getting amnesia and forgetting about them completely for whatever reason for how ever long? Do you think they’d try to rejog their memory or try to love them better with the chance of a fresh start? Or something else entirely. I am curious and I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve got the time and energy. Thanks for existing!

Hey Anon! (It’s weird to type this and have you not actually be an anon lmao)

I am very happy I finally have my blog up and running how I like, it finally feels like a little home to me. Thank you for noticing! 🫂🫂🫂

Thank you so much for sending an ask, I’m going to have fun with this one! I’m giving them a happy ending though, cause I can’t write angst and not give my boys a good ending. (Also completely unedited and not proof read lol)

Leonardo

The worry and anxiety he feels in the pit of his stomach like he swallowed a lead weight is one thing, but the chest-clenching heartbreak when you shriek at the sight of him and had no recollection of his existence is another.

He keeps a stoic face once you’ve calmed down and while explaining who he is to you, but really this poor guy is absolutely gutted. It takes so much of him to keep a straight face.

Still a bit of a helicopter, using any subtle opportunity to jog your memory of himself. He’ll make a cup of tea for you in the exact way he did on your first date, subtly comment on your outfit when he recognizes it’s something he bought you, anything he could think of to hopefully remind you.

This man does not sleep the entire time. You aren’t sleeping in his bed, how could he anyway? Once he is sure you are fully asleep, he comes to check on you. Listen to see if you talk in your sleep, mumbling about memories or just in case a nightmare decides to haunt you.

When he can’t check on you or do really anything else, he’s meditating in order to keep his emotions in line. He’s completely destroyed, so meditating for hours on end is the only way he can keep himself in check.

Although he’s snappy, irritable, and driving everyone but you away, what Leo really needs is one of his brothers to ignore the attitude and just stand there and let him get it out. By the time he’s done he’s already apologized a hundred times, he’s just lost and broken hearted.

Out of all his brothers, Raph is probably the one that cracks him and gets him to just spit it out. They all know what’s going on and how much Leo’s hurting from it all, but he still needs to let it out. Raph can handle the attitude with ease, brushing it aside and letting Leo get himself together

After what feels like an eternity, you gain your memory back at the most random of times while you happened to be watching him practice his kata. When you start babbling memories excitedly, he picks you up in a hug and cries into you.

It doesn’t matter if anyone’s watching, he’s crying and just so grateful that you remember who he is. Weeping tears of joy and the bottled anxiety finally burst as he holds you. Bear with this poor guy, it’s been a ride for both of you really.

Raphael

This poor guy is so surprised and in shock when you don’t remember him, he thinks you’re playing some sort of prank on him at first.

“Heh- babe, c’mon…don’t joke around like dat”

Once it hits him that this isn’t a prank or joke, you genuinely do not know who he is, Raph practically shuts down.

The love of his life doesn’t remember who he is, even looks at him like he’s the monster he felt he was before meeting you. It breaks his heart so much he locks himself away for a day or two, unfortunately leaving you more confused.

When you start wanting to be near him- no, needing to be near him, is when he starts coming around. He found you pacing back and forth in front of his bedroom door like a cat waiting to enter a closed off room one night.

You couldn’t explain it, but you have this invisible pull and primal need to be near him somehow. To be close, even touching him. Although you don’t remember why, you just know you need to,

Raph starts coming out of his room and trying to act normal, but when his brothers look him in the face an see how red and raw his eyes are, the dark circles, and the heartbreak in his eyes, they know it’s just an act but wisely choose not to comment.

He catches you staring at him while he’s working out, chuckling as you bashfully try to shy away. He doesn’t tease or joke though, instead encourages you to come watch

“I miss my favorite spotting partner,” Raph admits, hoping that will help jog your memory a little. It doesn’t outright, but you do find yourself already knowing how to spot him.

After a few days of you following Raph around like a lost puppy, your memory finally comes crashing back to you when Raph slipped the boxing gloves on you for practice.

Relief. So much relief it washes over Raph like a tidal wave that nearly knocks him off his feet. He holds you and kisses you, telling you repeatedly how grateful and happy he is you have your memory and you’re here. The tears will come at night while the two of you are in bed for the night, but he holds you and everything is okay.

Donatello

Initiate full on analytical mode. He is immediately going through a thousand different scenarios and cures in his head, he almost forgets that *you forgot* who he was all together, so his babbling did nothing to calm you down.

Even with all his knowledge and abilities, it still doesn’t negate the overwhelming emotions he feels when you don’t recognize him. It hurts, makes it hard for Donnie to even breathe, but he hides it behind his science and research.

Sitting in front of his computer for days on end in between checking up on your, it becomes almost like an obsession for Donnie to get your memory back. At the risk of his own health and wellbeing, he does not stop.

From using scents he knows you enjoy, like that cologne you bought for him as a gift or your favorite body wash, tasting your favorite coffee or the tiramisu Donnie bought for the two of you on a date once.

Let’s put on that movie we watched on that one Valentine’s weekend; you were obsessed with it for weeks!

Oh, what if Donnie took you to that rooftop the two of you saw a comet in the night sky once? It was absolutely beautiful, but wasn’t nearly as beautiful as you, he confided.

Countless hours of research keep Donnie from sleeping, honestly at one point contemplating how he could just straight main-line caffeine into his blood stream to stay awake.

Without warning one night, you come into his lab and demand he sleep. Not ask, not coax, you demand Donnie to get in bad with you and get some sleep. He questions if you’ve finally gotten your memory back, but sadly no. And he’s crushed. But you still demand he lay down in bed with you.

Crawling into bed with you with awkward limbs, Donnie is surprised that you lay down exactly as you always do with him. Even without memory, it was like your body still remembered how you fit together.

Quiet tears fall as Donnie holds onto you, sleep mercifully taking him into a deep slumber. Guilt crawled its way into your stomach while trying to sleep, wishing that your memory would just return so you could stop all of this.

Waking up in the morning, you blinked with shock as you look at Donnie- looked at him like you knew him again. And you did. You had woken up with your memory by some miracle.

Kissing and hugging you with love and relief, Donnie can’t keep his hands off of you or keep the tears from smudging his glasses. It was all so hard to believe while it was happening that now it was over, it felt like the end of a tornado.

The two of you decide to sleep in a little longer, only because Donnie could barely hold his eyes open. Frankly, sleep was probably what you needed too after all this.

Michelangelo

Confused. Downright, no jokes confused. How could you not remember him so suddenly? Time just doesn’t erase like that right?

Mikey asks Donnie a million and one questions, repeating or re-wording them or giving scenarios. It drives his brother mad, but he tries to be lenient because Donnie knows how terrified his younger brother is.

He caters to you in every way; offers to get you a drink, make you something to eat, get you a pillow, it becomes a little overwhelming, but you don’t know how to tell him to stop.

When Mikey tries to kiss you and pull away, it was like you could practically hear the way his heart shatters like glass. But he hides it with a smile and flirts, telling you he won you over once, he could do it again.

This is when he starts to flirt with you like he did before the two of you started dating, but with far more strategy and knowledge. Comments about how sweet you are while making your favorite chocolate pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream

Tells you how amazing you look in that shirt or those pants, mostly because he was the one to buy them.

He’ll give you your favorite kind of gifts; favorite flowers, candy, stuffed animals, anything he can think of giving you and jog your memory. Each time it doesn’t work, he’s crushed a little bit more, but he keeps trying.

Plays movies that you and Mikey watched together, shared music playlists the two of you built together over the period of your relationship, and whatever else he could possibly think of. But it still didn’t work.

When you aren’t anywhere near to see, Mikey with let himself cry for a moment out of frustration and sadness that you don’t remember him. It hurts, but by the time you are near he has a smile back on his face.

He thought you were sleeping one night when you found him crying down one of the sewer tunnels away from the lair. The sight broke your heart, which for some reason jogged your memory. Rushing to hug and kiss him, you damn near scared Mikey out of his shell.

“Angelcakes, you remember!?” Mikey shouts, picking you up and spinning you in a massive hug. Thank the pizza Gods, he had you back!

Taglist

@silverwatergalaxy @thelaundrybitch @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos

@yorshie @truffle-reblogs @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus @thepinkpanther83

@avery73 @luckycharms1701 @tmnt-tychou @suksiskovaikkakuuseen @milykins @justalotoffanfiction

[jaegersmoon]

what are ur steps to writing a complex character? i’m having so much trouble w that

✧ write the characterization out on paper so you can visualize it

write out their likes, their dislikes, their personality type, what makes them impatient, what scares them, give them habits and put the reason as to why the habits are there, is it a coping mechanism? a trauma response? did they get it from a parent that died and they don't even realize they adopted that habit until someone points it out? seeing all of this will help you make connections that maybe you were blind to when it was all in your head.

✧ let them be imperfect !!!

when writing complex characters, it can be so easy to fall victim to the concept of trying to make them perfect, of no flaws, because it is your creation and at the end of the day, you are the one making the choice for them but remember that flaws are what drive the complexity of a character. let go of the idea of them always being well versed (bc that isn't reality) and let them make poor choices, be stupid, have horrible coping mechanisms, shut people out, get them into situations other characters wouldn't touch and then let them struggle to find a way out.

✧ don't let the character think like you, but rather think like the character

it's extremely common to use certain life experiences and build them into events in your book. if you do this when involving a complex character, allow them to make choices that you wouldn't ever make. let them over react where you would under reacted or under act when you would over react. let them blow something out of proportion, snap at a character, and say things that you never would and then give it a ripple affect... let it take damage to a strong bond because of their inability to listen and then have them suffer the consequences of that choice in order to allow them to grow enough to fix their present flaws.

the more you write, the more you will learn how to embody what character you're writing and your brain will almost slowly turn into theirs and it will become easier to make choices that accurately fall around their flaws rather than your own.

✧ let them piss you / the readers off

as a writer who is publishing works to the public, it can sometimes be intimating to think about readers reactions when decides on certain choices a specific characters makes, weather you're going to make them mad or not or make them wanna throw their phone. if you do? then good bc you're making them feel something and in my opinion, complex characters are not made to be made to be liked 100% of the time. sometimes they do things they shouldn't or they make choices that makes their development spiral backward, but that's the point. take eren for example, he is a very complex character, has he done things to piss me off? yes. do i love him despite all of that? yes. do i love him because of that complexity and those flawed choices? yes. zuko is another good example of this.

another example, i hated how jean was at the beginning of ob, it was so painful me to write and is even painful for me to reflect on, his flaws made me so angry, but i had a vision as to where i wanted him to end up and i knew if i wanted to develop him and flush him out the way i have, i needed to start him in the trenches and give him a solid reason as to why he was stuck in the hole he dug for himself.

✧ complex characters need a reason that they are complex

where did they come from? what did they experience that made them this way? what triggers their anger? what things are they sensitive too and why? every complex character should have depth as to why they have become who they are. understand their triggers and create boundaries (i.e jean's back, yn's thighs). also give them layers upon laters of identity that you can later leverage out of them and say "this character hates this specific thing because of x y and z and because x y and z happened to them, this is where they fall short in this specific part of their life.

✧ allow them to contradict themselves and let it happen a lot

let them say something and then do something that goes against what they said and turn it into an inward battle. many times the biggest villain of a complex character is themselves.

for example, when keith called yn to tell her to come back to stohess because of lucas she was aware of his flaws and that she wants nothing to do with him but when he mentioned her brother, she took off running and reverted back into the little girl she used to be when they were at the dinner table and he was telling her that he loves her and wants them to be a family and she was inwardly questioning if he actually meant it even though in the back of her head she knows its not true. this is where her complexity comes in. it would be easier just to write her as a 'fuck you dad' type of girl but that isn't who she is. she loves people to a fault and at the end of the day, despite her horrible experiences with keith and all the suffering he put her through, she will always have a piece of her that yearns desperately for her father and the family she lost and will always be hopeful that vacancy will somehow be filled and that is something she truly hates about herself hence why she so often says she knows better than to hope (and yet, she still does).

; hope this helps bb, please remember i am not at all trained in any of this, what i know is what ive learned by doing so take it all w a grain of salt lmfao <3

[dirthamen-enjoyer]

please remember that this is all my personal thoughts and i might be wrong about some of the things. it is critical. this started off as one specific topic about solas and then ended up turning into more of a ramble. i guess? anyways spoilers for veilguard under the keep reading line.

i wish my brain worked properly sometimes because i really want to know why i feel like they didn't write solas cohesively enough. to me, he is the best part of datv. and no, it's not because i romanced him in inquisition. actually, i could never finish his romance because he was such a know-it-all and it would annoy me lol. (it's because i'm a know-it-all and know-it-alls tend to clash. i plan on forcing myself through it one day though.) despite him annoying me, i liked him as a character. i liked his reveal, the moral greyness of him.

i think mainly my problem is how they presented his morals and why he wants to tear down the veil. it feels like they couldn't decide how to focus him. so originally he's tearing down the veil because it was a mistake and wants the world to go back to the way it was so the days of the ancient elves - specifically after the evanuris are gone - could return, at least that's what i got from it.

then at the beginning of veilguard, it suddenly it feels like tearing the veil down is just a byproduct of him needing to move the last of the evanuris to a better prison. huh? in my head i always thought that solas was ready to fight the evanuris when the veil is brought down because he's willing to take the risk of dealing with them just to bring the old world back. maybe that's too headcanon-y? also i never got around to reading the books or comics fully so i might have missed some details.

then at the end it's "i must do this for mythal or her sacrifice would be for nothing" or whatever he said. huh? i don't get why it's suddenly about mythal, even with the regret murals showing how close they were. it should be about him and all he sacrificed, only for it to not go the way he wanted. without even talking about what was revealed in the regrets murals, he sacrificed the world he knew to lock the evanuris (and forgotten ones) away to try and make life better for the common elves, the slaves.

i don't know how well that last paragraph comes off. i'm just saying that it felt like it didn't belong. his whole story is about regrets, yes. makes sense. he regrets the events that happened because of the veil mistakenly happening. he regrets what's in the murals (which i might talk about in another post because :/) but the game acts like him tearing down the veil is just selfish. there's no other nuance there, it's just selfish. huh? there is so much nuance to this position, in my opinion, that i can't even figure out how to write it.

okay so i've officially lost my train of thought about this original topic, which means i don't know what else to put. i'll just say that i feel dumb that i don't understand it while it feels like everyone else does. also i don't understand why i dislike how everything ended for him. it was like someone punched me when lost elf started playing because this ending didn't feel right. and i don't know why. (that one ending... "i am a god!" bffr he would NAWT FUCKING say that.)

also let me just quickly state that i do not think they should have made the evanuris, and elves, originally spirits. it takes away the fantasy in a the fantasy story, is the best way to say it. i know it sounds weird, but... mysteries are good. not everything needs an explanation. we could have had the mystery of "what were the evanuris?" if they kept them as just gods instead of explaining them. just have the reveal be that the gods weren't good to their subjects and are all-powerful. no need to explain all the time.

this has nothing to do with how much i wanted to fight actual gods (i did. i wanted to go up against actual gods other than the archdemons. and we know that reveal :/ ) or even how much more impactful it would have made solas's history.

[neallo]

going to try a new writing technique / strategy tonight i think. being very mysterious here but i will report how it goes <3

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[theflyingfeeling]

fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨

[malkaviian]

im home earlier than i thought

[nerice]

roa is not abt qs. like it is, it's their prequel from a meta perspective, but it is so vitally important to me that none of their interactions in roa have the romantic slant. jumie can aim to slit reina's throat with full intent and lose to the impenetrable godskin and there is nothing sexy abt it other than the meta angle of #girlrage hot. reina doesn't take challenges to her authority well and there are no... somber aftermath moments no contemplative silence where she softens on jumie's position because jumie as she is only presents a weak link in the war ranks an unstable element reina does not have the patience to deal with bc she has removed herself so far from mortal trouble and turmoil. it will get there, a more casual antagonism and self reflection on reina's part but not until romance novel territory proper, roa is a wholly different beast and it is not abt them!!!! it's jumie's grief journey and reina is simply a very convenient outlet due to visibility, being untouchable, being responsible (the gr*y thrulines also. we do not !! talk abt it god.) jumie whets her anger against reina and it cannot go well but it's so much better than confronting the specter of trauma purposefully inked in a place she will never have to look at. easier than being around yuzha and his daughter (digging nails into her neck) than confronting the reality of war, the useless death of her family, reina who does not even acknowledge her suffering, who finds her mortal hangups trite and wld rather she keep it out of business (bc she cannot acknowledge the fires of nerice's end either. this is the axis on which their dynamic changes over time, the crux of understanding) in the end it's not even reina who bears the brunt of much of jumie's rage (though she is target of it whenever available) it's [og mindsong user] who is the one person reina is vulnerable around, he has all the information to see how unfair her treatment of reina is. he won't share and he takes it out on jumie bc if she'd just fall in line her behavior wld stop aggravating reina's own trauma he is the one person who can see how this will destabilize the entire war (when ofc. 'nobody talk abt their trauma' is ofc a powderkeg of an approach and goes as well as you expect) anwy we are not doing a roa plot recap i've lost my point take this for whatever it is