#because i just want to send a funny thing talk for 2 minutes and then be done with it because im likely doing 5 other things @ the same time
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starberry-cupcake · 3 days ago
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oooohhhh boyyyyyyyy Stuff Happened you folks, this might be obnoxious because there was a lot of exposition, let's hope I can keep it decent. As always, sending you all positive vibes in these trying times ♥
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
CHAPTER 50
30 minutes for emperor destruction, prepare the champagne
gideon is being taken by yandere twin to meet doctor reverend emperor john
she isn't very into that idea, but doesn't have much of a choice
doctor reverend emperor john is having a very important conversation with someone in the room, so gideon and yandere twin hide to listen in
and the conversation is with non other than not!dulcinea
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not!dulcinea is being possessed
by commander wake
I ASKED FOR THIS IN THE PREVIOUS ONE
why did you need harrow, then, you dramatic asshat?
so, basically, commander wake's name is actually a couple quotes and lyrics to eminem's song from 8 mile
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her name isn't amanda, it's just awake, etc.
I'd take amanda over eminem but ok
they said they are words that date back thousands of years, so we're in the future
I considered this, but not due to book reasons, just because one time I was talking to @lady-harrowhark about one time a barbie of mine was stolen when I was a kid and it somehow related to tlt, this was A Long Time Ago but I thought "what, are the books in the future?"
I have no idea if my hollywood hair barbie had anything to do with the books directly or if it was just some fandom thing @lady-harrowhark knows and I don't, but that planted the idea in my head
if it's a spoiler, don't tell me
but I didn't pick up any clues from the book until eminem
emperor's last name is gaius, which I knew from an untagged non context dashboard post
doctor reverend emperor john gaius wants to know what commander wake was doing in the ninth, because she landed there on purpose
and also is impressed that she's been a revenant for nearly 20 years and doesn't know how she got there
I think it's the sword
so, in come augustine and mercygirl
because now we're having a party
dr reverend emperor john says "Am I in trouble?" because he's the most punchable asshole in the known universe
and introduces commander wake with an evanescence quote rather than an eminem quote
yes, ok, I much prefer that, thank you
thank you, Fallen by Evanescence (2003) you changed my life
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so, turns out that commander wake was in cahoots with these two lyctors
but things turned south and gideon the first was sent to kill her
she went to the ninth to break into the tomb
it always comes down to the tomb
ice cube barbie is very popular
so, I was right when I said that gideon wasn't conceived Traditionally
the eggs were my clue on that bit, the eggs on the notes
they were supposed to 1) use dr reverend emperor john's genes to 2) create a baby with his blood to 3) break the blood ward to 4) open the tomb
CONVOLUTED LYCTOR PLANS
but the eggs didn't work, so commander wake decided to birth gideon herself
when I said gideon was a demigod and used hercules memes and when I compared her to superman or whatever
I was more correct than I thought
commander wake called gideon "bomb"
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this song could go into the gideon playlist @lady-harrowhark and I were talking about
because we didn't have enough lyctors at this party, in comes gideon the first
from battling the beast, which is what everyone was supposed to be doing, btw, just putting that out there
gideon the first will receive a lot of very clever, funny and amazing nicknames by gideon that I can't even remotely compete with
I vow to you and your prowess for nicknames, queen
gideon the first comes in, removes gideon's glasses from harrow's body, and slides them on his face
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commander wake me up before you go go looks at him with heart eyes
and he shoots her
gideon, things were so much easier when you didn't have a family, girl
this is too stressful
everyone is surprised that gideon the first fought the beast, the beast ran and gideon the first is alive
I am NOT SURPRISED because HE WAS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MATI NONIUS
and ortus, and protozoa, and martita
BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY, MATI NONIUS
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well done team harrow!!!
so, basically, gideon the first didn't say anything about the whole commander wake situation because he thought gideon was his
which accounts for my doubts the other recap on how I thought gideon wasn't Conceived Traditionally but there were doubts from gideon the first's side
gideon prime, gideon zero, gideon senior (all gideon jokes, not mine) says he was with her for about two years
so augustine starts explaining how they got dr reverend emperor john's genetic material through god apate major
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED
IT'S ALWAYS THE ORGIES, ISN'T IT?
man, I'd rather not know the details, thank you
gideon the first also doesn't want to know the details
the emperor's bolthole wasn't as inexorable as it was advertised to be, turns out
it's basically a revolving door
ANYWAY
the emperor goes "so you killed her and the baby, right?"
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IN COMES GIDEON, INTRODUCING HERSELF
"I'm not fucking dead"
and the emperor goes "hi, not fucking dead, I'm dad"
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CHAPTER 51
gideon starts remembering childhood things like suffering and fighting with harrow and telling harrow that maybe she is the daughter of someone important and they don't know it
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"You remember how the fuck-off great aunts always used to say, suffer and learn? If they were right, Nonagesimus, how much more can we take until you and me achieve omniscience?"
man, this is rough
so, the thing about the eyes
gideon apparently has AL's eyes
whose name isn't only Annabel Lee
it's also Alecto
the alecto everyone keeps mentioning in the fandom
so, this explains why seeing gideon's eyes was like seeing a ghost to these lyctors
also why ice cube barbie had gideon's eyes
THERE ARE A LOT OF THREADS GOING ON IN THIS BOARD
GIDEON IS CONNECTED TO A LOT OF PEOPLE
NONE OF THEM GOOD
the lyctors bring back what teacher said in canaan au, about them asking dr reverend emperor john to kill AL aka Annabel Lee aka Alecto aka ice cube barbie
apparently all of them (except for gideon the first) hated her and were low key scared of her and high key scared of what might happen with her around
they think the beasts are coming partly because of her
and whatever dr reverend emperor john did to resurrect her
the emperor says he didn't kill her, he "switched her off"
not successfully, because she's been sort of roaming around
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mercygirl and augustine say that everything about this is very sus because what if he didn't kill AL??? and what is going on with the origin of his power???
dr reverend emperor john goes "you both do tend to go overboard on the foreplay"
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mercygirl and augustine figured out that harrow's true cavalier had AL's eyes
but it was impossible for a baby to be born with AL's genes
however, it was very probable that a baby had been born in the ninth with the emperor's genes
because they had been planning on that to happen
albeit in a different way, without the human intervention
so, if gideon has AL's eyes but the emperor's genes
it means AL's eyes aren't hers and the emperor's aren't his
the emperor's weird eyes are AL's and gideon's eyes are the emperor's
because.......
he achieved lyctorhood without having to slurp his cavalier aka AL
I'm very interested in this potential situation if we get gideon alive again
but everyone else is pissed off because they had to slurp their cavaliers unnecessarily
yandere twin also decides to join the chat after this
and, apparently, anastasia had figured it out too
the ninth necro who everyone said was the one who couldn't become a lyctor
the one with a room unused
until harrow
the emperor's version of events is that things went off the rails in the process and he had to kill them both
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augustine tells dr reverend emperor john to just stop already with his plan of destroying everything
and the emperor says that the man before his resurrection would have hated him to say that
mercygirl then goes "I'll forgive you if you tell me you didn't mean to kill my cav"
and the emperor goes "yes, I'll do whatever"
so he hugs mercygirl
and mercygirl
FUCKING DECIMATES HIM
SHE WRECKS HIM
SHE MELTS HIM INTO NOTHINGNESS
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gideon says she's an orphan again while I'm giving everyone a party hat and a piece of celebratory cake
I'M SORRY THIS WAS LONG but we're reaching the end of this book!!! See you next time!!!
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deelovesbooks · 1 year ago
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how to politely tell my older sister to step off my back and not fucking attempt to babysit me?
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hoshifighting · 5 months ago
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— Synopsis: Nerd!Jeonghan finds himself desperate when one of the jocks takes his cell phone form his hands, the cell phone that is open to your conversation, afraid that the jock will expose your privacy. Jeonghan, the good boy, ended up at the principal's office. — WARNINGS: The jocks are bullies, suggestive content, nudes. — This is a part 3 of Nerd!Jeonghan – Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Ever since you and Jeonghan had sex, things had changed between you two, but in a good way. He was more confident, sending you more messages, and taking the initiative to talk to you. During class, he'd often text you after finishing his work, and you'd share secret glances, especially when the messages were funny.
Today, you were texting him after your P.E. class while he was in the middle of his lesson, eyes glued to his phone. Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed his phone. It was one of the jocks—again.
Jeonghan's heart raced, especially because the phone was open to your contact. He didn’t want the guy to invade your privacy, especially considering the intimate photos you sent him sometimes.
“Why so worried, Jeonghan? Did Y/n send you something I shouldn’t see?” the jock sneered, dodging Jeonghan’s attempts to reclaim his phone.
The more the jock scrolled, the more Jeonghan’s anxiety grew. He began reading out loud one of the compromising messages: "Can't wait to see you tonight, my love, I was thinking about you all day and—"
Before he could finish, Jeonghan’s fist collided with the jock’s face, making him stumble back in shock. The class went silent, everyone’s eyes on them. Jeonghan grabbed his phone from the jock’s loosened grip and bolted out of the classroom into the hallway. The jock, now fuming with anger, chased after him.
When you left the locker room, you noticed a commotion. Jeonghan’s name was on everyone’s lips, and that made you worry. His name wasn't often mentioned, so if it was now, something serious must have happened.
You began searching for him around the school, your anxiety growing with each passing minute. Just then, your phone buzzed with a message from Jeonghan: I’m in the principal’s office.
You opened the door to the principal's office and stepped inside. The principal glanced up at you, her expression stern. James and Jeonghan sat in front of her, and to your surprise, Mina, one of your friends, was also there.
"What happened?" you asked, looking at the principal.
Before Jeonghan could speak, the principal explained, "Jeonghan punched James during class. It was quite a disturbance."
You were shocked. "Jeonghan punched someone?"
Mina chimed in, "He punched James because he was reading out loud from Jeonghan’s phone. He was invading his privacy and being a complete jerk about it."
You turned to the principal, concern etched on your face. "You're not giving Jeonghan a suspension, right? This would go on his college record."
The principal sighed. "I was going to, but Mina showed me a video she recorded of the whole incident. It clearly shows James provoking Jeonghan. So, Jeonghan is released."
James stood up, but the principal quickly added, "No, James, you stay. We need to discuss your behavior."
As you all left the office, you turned to Mina, gratitude evident in your eyes. "Thank you so much, Mina."
"No problem," she said with a smile before heading off, leaving you and Jeonghan alone in the now empty hallway.
Without saying a word, you hugged Jeonghan tightly. He hugged you back, his embrace comforting and warm. As you started walking home together, you finally broke the silence.
"I can't believe you punched him," you said, a mix of amusement and disbelief in your voice.
Jeonghan chuckled softly. "I couldn't let him keep reading our messages out loud. He was invading our privacy, and I just… reacted."
"You did the right thing," you assured him, squeezing his hand. "But I'm glad Mina had that video. A suspension would have been terrible."
"And those photos..." Jeonghan began, his voice a bit shy. "They're only mine to see." He avoided looking directly at you, his cheeks tinged with a light blush.
You couldn't help but smile at him, feeling a warm flutter in your chest. You gave his shoulder a playful bump with yours. "Of course, Jeonghan. Those photos are just for you."
Jeonghan let out a small sigh of relief. "It feels good to hear that. I never thought I'd actually punch someone, though."
As you continued walking, the conversation turned lighter, and you both talked about your plans for the weekend, upcoming assignments, and your favorite shows. The atmosphere was easy and comfortable, a stark contrast to the earlier chaos.
When you finally reached your house, you paused at the doorstep, turning to face him. "Do you want to come in for a bit? Maybe we can watch something or just hang out."
Jeonghan hesitated for a moment, then nodded, his eyes lighting up. "Yeah, I'd like that."
You opened the door and led him inside, the familiar surroundings of your home bringing a sense of comfort. As you both settled onto the couch, you leaned in close, feeling the warmth of his body next to yours. The TV played softly in the background, but your focus was entirely on each other.
As you both sat on the couch, the soft glow of the TV casting a warm light, you noticed Jeonghan glancing at you with a curious expression.
"Why are you spacing out?" he asked, his voice gentle but inquisitive.
You should say it? Should you say, that after the worry passed, the simple fact that Jeonghan went so far –as to punch someone because of you–, made you ten times more attracted to him? Was it a good situation to feel that way? Definitely not.
But you can't forget the scene you saw on Mina's cell phone, a confident Jeonghan punching someone in the face, risking everything, afraid that someone would see the risky nudes you send him.
You bit your lip, feeling a flush of heat rise to your cheeks. "It's just… seeing you punch James was very… hot."
Jeonghan scoffed, a playful smirk forming on his lips. "Hot? Really?"
You sulked, playfully pushing his shoulder. "Don't judge me."
He leaned in closer, his smirk turning into a soft smile. "I'm not judging you," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.
You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your chest. You leaned in, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, "You standing up for yourself like that, so confident and strong… it was really sexy. Made me want you even more."
Jeonghan took a sharp breath, his eyes widening slightly.
"Jeonghan..."
"Hm?"
"I'm wet."
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jinwoosbabyboo · 15 days ago
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I Don't Suffer I Just Have It
The lads men and their nuerospicy adhd/add reader A/N: Your mental health matters and don't sacrifice it for anyone. These are a few things I deal with. Everyone's experience with adhd/add is different. [Requested by: luxis-journal]
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Time Blocking
I have to be there by 5:30pm, but I need to shower and do my makeup so I need at least 2 or 3 hours for that, but I should give myself time so im not rushing because I hate being rushed and I know I'm gonna want to eat before I go so I should make time for that and picking out an outfit will take some time so I need to start getting ready at like 11am you know incase there’s traffic and im not rushing
Zayne doesn’t question it and just gets ready in 30 minutes while you still run around getting dressed Rafayel rushes you just to piss you off and immediately regret it when you tell him to leave without you because you’re not going anymore Xavier when you tell him the rundown of your getting ready time he’s confused until he wakes up an hour before you need to leave and you’re still getting ready Sylus happily just watches you get dressed while he’s still in bed
ADD/ADHD Pause
That moment when you need to turn the lights off, but you need to grab your car keys off the kitchen counter, but your jacket is still in your room so you can’t turn the room light off just yet and you need to grab your travel mug from the fridge so now you’re just stutter stepping in one spot trying to do everything at once
Zayne tells you to grab your drink while he grabs everything else Rafayel puts his hands on your shoulders and directs into your room to grab your jacket and then asks what else needs to be done Xavier quietly grabs everything for you Sylus grabs your chin, tilting it up to look at him and simply says “One thing at a time sweetie”
Nightly/Tired Zoomies
Hysterically laughing at anything and thinking of everything funny that’s ever made you laugh right before bed or when you get tired. Crackhead energy.
Zayne sweetly smiles while you tire yourself out and cuddles you when you lay down and pass out in his arms Rafayel is cackling with you and not just laughing, but also adding onto the jokes you both end up laughing until you’re in tears Xavier he’s already knocked out while you’re still up laughing at videos on your phone Sylus teases you the entire time which only makes you laugh more then makes you lay down because he knows you’re just sleepy
Non-verbal and/or Overstimulated
Those moments when you just don’t feel like talking and everything is pissing you off especially unnecessary noises
Zayne leaves you be and just sends you texts to check on you. Turns on your favorite show when he’s about to eat so you don’t yell at him for making too much noise Rafayel still wants your attention so he just lays on you hoping it would make you feel better. it works for a while until the sound of his breathing starts irritating you “Why are you breathing so loud?” “Im sorry for being alive??” Xavier leaves you alone and just leaves you little snacks in case you get hungry he knows you’ll come talk to him when you’re ready Sylus simply texts you when you don’t feel like speaking sends the twins in to see how irritable you are because if you get snappy with them he knows you’ll bite his head off
Vocal Stimming
A new random sentence or song snippet every week from “FLINT LOCKWOOD” to “Say its fine (fiiiinneee) happens all the time” to just random noises when the silence is silencing too much
Zayne just looks at you and goes on about his day Rafayel gets them stuck in his head now he’s randomly saying it too Xavier questions it “Where did that come from?” Sylus just lets you do your thing chuckles from time to time because he finds it cute
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silverynight · 23 days ago
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Recharge
Based on the mha manga finale
"Your childhood friend is taking too many extra shifts; he'll pass out soon at this rate."
Aizawa does that a lot lately; he casually walks into Izuku's classroom or his office, only to drop random information about Katsuki. It's usually something Aizawa disapproves of.
Izuku sighs, looking up at the window from all the essays he has to grade. Lately, Katsuki is making him worry too much.
The funny thing is that Aizawa believes he has some secret power to make pro hero Katsuki stop or change his mind; sure, they're friends, and he often listens to Izuku (yes, he also pays him a lot of visits) but it's not like the young teacher can work miracles.
"I'll talk to him," he promises. This time, he needs to think about something to make him take a break. He doesn't want Katsuki to end up hurt during one of his missions because he's too tired to focus.
Izuku spends a couple of minutes staring down at his phone; thinking about what to text Katsuki. The truth is that they see each other pretty much every week, and he's the one who usually asks Izuku if he can go to his apartment or hang out with him.
Izuku never reaches out first and it's not because he doesn't want to; the only reason he doesn't ask Katsuki to come is because he's aware how hard it's for pro heroes to make time for social stuff. Besides, he doesn't want to bother him.
Now, it's been two weeks since he last saw Katsuki; Izuku has been thinking about it even before Aizawa approached him, but he refused to mention anything about that to Katsuki because he didn't want to annoy him. He had decided to wait because it was obvious Katsuki hadn't contacted him for a reason.
However, if it's because he's been overworking himself on purpose, Izuku needs to make him stop before he collapses or at least try to talk to him out of it.
Hi, Kacchan!
Do you have time today to hang out with me? We can stay at my place and order takeout!
He sends it before he regrets it. Izuku bites his bottom lip, but forces himself to look at the works he's grading because he seriously needs to get back to it.
Katsuki answers just a few minutes later, and it's a bit surprising considering how busy Aizawa said he was.
I have another patrol later today. I won't be free until 2 am. But maybe I can come over in two days?
Is it his second one in a day or his third? Izuku's mind fills itself with anxious thoughts and wonders when was the last time Katsuki had a proper night's sleep. Why is he overworking himself? Pro heroes make good money, he shouldn't be struggling financially...
He doesn't ask any of those questions or tells Katsuki to reschedule. Izuku has no idea why Aizawa is always so sure he can make Katsuki change his mind. His friend has more important things to do now; honestly, it's a miracle he finds the time to hang out with Izuku once a week.
He shouldn't insist, but Izuku decides to be honest.
Don't worry about it! We can see each other when you have more time!
I just miss you, that's all! Good luck with your patrol, Kacchan!
Izuku leaves his phone next to him on the table, takes a deep breath, and gets determined not to worry about his friend for a while.
An hour later, he gets another text from Katsuki.
Ashido is going to take that last patrol. I'll be at your place at 6 pm.
Izuku grins before going back to his own work, determined to finish everything by 5; he'll have enough time to take a shower and tidy his apartment a bit before Katsuki arrives.
Just when he's done with the essays, he gets another message.
I miss you too.
Izuku has to cover his face after that one; he's not sure why it makes him blush.
***
Izuku is more or less satisfied with his work when there's a knock at his door. Katsuki is at the other side, hair still dripping wet from his shower, wearing casual clothes and carrying a few boxes of takeout.
"Kacchan!" Izuku beams, making his friend smile in response. He takes the boxes from his hands and walks towards his little kitchen as the pro hero takes his boots off and leaves them at the entrance.
He's still way taller than Izuku, even without the boots.
"You brought katsudon!" The excitement in his voice is obvious, but he doesn't try to hide it. "Thank you, I–Kacchan?"
He turns around, only to be pulled into a tight embrace; Katsuki tilts his head down in order to nuzzle against Izuku's green curls. He takes a deep breath.
"I missed you so much, nerd," he mumbles, sincerely, almost like he can't stop himself from doing it.
Izuku giggles, hoping the blush on his cheeks is not too obvious, and he tries to step away, only for Katsuki to pull him right back into his arms with a grumpy huff.
"Wait. I need to recharge," the pro hero insists, resting his head on the teacher's shoulder. "Alright. I'm better now. Besides, you must be hungry."
Only when Izuku takes a few steps back he notices how tired Katsuki actually looks. There are shadows under his eyes, his face has a few cuts, and Izuku just knows his muscles must be killing him.
Narrowing his eyes, the green haired teacher cups his friend's face, watching as Katsuki closes his eyes and surrenders into the touch.
"I'll fix those scratches, and I bring you something for the sore muscles. Sit here," Sometimes Izuku gets a little bit bossy when he's worried, but he doesn't realize it until it's too late.
Besides, Katsuki never complains, in fact, he does as Izuku asks without hesitation.
After he patches the pro hero up, trying not to get distracted by his intense stare, Izuku sets a few plates and arranges the counter so they can eat together.
They eat mostly in silence, although it's difficult for him to focus just on his delicious food because Katsuki keeps staring at him.
His face is slightly warm, and he gets so flustered he decides to talk about his students and then ask about Katsuki's day.
When Katsuki starts mentioning his shifts and patrols, Izuku decides to bring up the topic that has been worrying him the most.
"So you've been taking extra shifts?"
Katsuki nods, exhaustion visible on his features.
"You should take a break, Kacchan. Maybe a day off."
"I'm fine."
Even though Katsuki has changed, he's still as stubborn as he was when they were teenagers.
Izuku tries not to roll his eyes.
"I'd like to see you more often," he mumbles, feeling nervous. "I miss you when you're not here."
It's completely true, but part of him regrets saying it; it's not like Katsuki has time to make Izuku feel better. They're just friends.
"I'll try not to take too many shifts," Katsuki surprises him saying. His cheeks are slightly pink too. "So we can hang out more."
The young teacher beams in response, unable to hide his joy. Katsuki smiles back, leaning closer, looking flustered too.
"It's just... I have a project," he says after a while. "And I need to save a lot of money for it. It's... really important to me."
Oh. Izuku understands and he also has the feeling Katsuki doesn't want to give him too much information about it; it's okay. He'd do the same if he wasn't sure he was going to make it happen.
He can see how important it is for him in the way his red eyes shine. Izuku is almost sure Katsuki is going to open his own agency! It must be that!
"Will you tell me more once it's ready?"
Katsuki grins from ear to ear before getting closer to him; for a moment, his exhaustion vanishes as those red eyes meet Izuku's. He grabs both his hands in his.
"I promise. I can't wait for you to see it, Izuku."
There's something about the way Katsuki says his name that has Izuku blushing even more; his eyes stare at him with something close to adoration, but he's not sure and he certainly doesn't want to get the wrong idea so the teacher decides to ignore it.
He jumps from his seat and starts cleaning the counter before doing the dishes instead.
Katsuki offers to help, but Izuku asks him to wait in the living room while he finishes.
"You should stay tonight," he whispers next to him, leaning over the couch after a couple of minutes. He catches Katsuki dozing off.
The pro hero must be truly exhausted.
"What?" Red eyes blink back open in a second. The words seem to have caught him off guard. "You mean..."
"Yes," Izuku smiles, noticing that Katsuki is leaning closer. "Stay with me."
"But what... I mean, we should at least talk about it first," the pro hero blurts out, flustered, his face turning into a deep shade of red that makes the teacher worry. "I don't want this to be a casual thing. Besides, I have never–"
"What do you mean casual?" He cuts the blond off, feeling completely lost. "Well... If you want to, we can have regular sleepovers! What about every two weeks or so?"
It's perfect! That way, Katsuki wouldn't be able to take that many extra shifts!
The noise of Katsuki facepalming himself is so loud it startles Izuku. That big hand slides down his features like he's trying to gather some patience and strength at the same time.
"Of course you were talking about a sleepover," he mumbles so quietly the teacher wonders if he heard it wrong. Then, staring back at Izuku, he adds: "Yes, we can do that."
"Great!"
***
"I'm not wearing that!"
"Come on, Kacchan!" Izuku pouts, looking at the oversized All Might t-shirt and the pants that might not go along with it, but they're the same brand and are, in fact, very comfortable.
"Listen, I own a few things that are All Might themed too, but this is just awful," Katsuki grimaces, looking at the clothes like they have offended him personally.
"You can't sleep on those jeans," the green haired teacher protests. "You won't be able to sleep properly. Besides, this is the only thing I have that you can wear. My clothes are too small for you. I promise this really comfy! I love to wear these to sleep!"
Katsuki visibly relaxes when Izuku says that last bit; he looks from him to the clothes a couple of times.
"You wear these to sleep? Aren't they too big for you?"
"Yes, but I love oversized clothes!" Izuku smiles.
The pro hero stares down at him for a couple of seconds without saying anything; Izuku wonders if he forgot about what they were talking about when he suddenly blinks, snapping himself out of it, and then turns slightly pink.
"Fine. I'll see if I have something else–"
"No," Katsuki yanks the clothes right from Izuku's hands. "I'll wear them."
When Katsuki joins him in the living room again, he admits to himself that his friend was absolutely right about the clothes.
They fit him, but they don't look like his style at all.
"You look like a nerd, Kacchan," Izuku says before bursting into laughter.
"You little shit! This was all a trap to make me wear this crime against fashion! My parents would have a stroke if they saw me in this!" He lunges towards Izuku, making the teacher laugh even harder.
When Katsuki catches him in his arms, prompting them to fall over the couch, Izuku realizes the pro hero is chuckling too.
However, when the laughter dies, they're still wrapped around one another on the couch, and Katsuki refuses to look away from Izuku; the younger teacher gets too flustered he pushes his friend away.
"Let's watch a movie!"
Katsuki insists he needs to recharge first and the best way to do that is if he's as close to Izuku as possible so he ends up with the pro hero's head over his lap.
They only watch the first half of the movie, and Izuku is not sure Katsuki watched it at all because he caught the pro hero staring up at him a couple of times instead.
Katsuki falls asleep quickly after Izuku starts running his fingers through his blond hair.
The teacher sighs, turns the TV off and checks his mail on his phone while Katsuki sleeps. He reads a few of his students' works for a while before carefully waking Katsuki up.
They have a "discussion" about who gets to sleep on Izuku's bed, and the teacher ends up losing, so he brings an extra futon to the living room so Katsuki can sleep comfortably.
The pro hero wakes up first and is already making breakfast for two when Izuku walks out of his bedroom.
They chat for a while before Katsuki gets ready for work.
At the entrance, he hesitates right after putting his boots on before turning around again and pulling Izuku into a hug.
"Recharging?" He chuckles, hugging him back.
"More like getting some extra energy for the day." He whispers as he nuzzles against Izuku's curls.
"Okay, Kacchan."
"Let's do this next week," he says, smiling down at him, thumb stroking the teacher's scar on his right cheek.
"Yes!"
"I'll see you this Friday, Izuku."
***
As soon as he sees Ashido's smirk at the other side of the break room, Katsuki sighs, but he still walks towards her.
"I'm guessing it went really well with Midoriya. You haven't stopped smiling since you got here."
Katsuki is really bad at hiding his true feelings for Izuku, which is why he finds it ridiculous and frustrating how the nerdy teacher hasn't realized it himself yet.
"Yeah."
"I don't know if I should feel glad because it looks like you slept through the night or sorry because he didn't keep you awake."
Ashido wiggles her eyebrows in such a way Katsuki is not sure why he keeps falling for her stupid teasing.
But he blushes anyway and swears he'll never tell her that for a moment he thought Izuku wanted to sleep with him.
He would have done it gladly, but he would have professed his undying love for Izuku first because Katsuki doesn't do things by halves.
Loving Izuku is a lifetime commitment.
"SHUT UP!"
"Fine," she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. "You're no fun."
Katsuki grabs the bento Izuku shoved into his hands that morning, as he made him promise he'd take a lunch break.
That's the only reason he's there.
"How's the suit going?" Ashido asks then, prompting Katsuki to smile again.
"Great. Hatsume is finally done with Izuku's gauntlets. I'll see her this afternoon to test them myself."
"He's going to love it," she assures him, putting a hand over his shoulder.
"I know," Katsuki mumbles, smiling down at his bento.
He can't wait to show it to Izuku. To see him wearing it.
It's going to take a while, but he'll get there eventually; he'll help Izuku fulfill his dream.
***
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twstfanblog · 6 months ago
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*~Period Drama~* Romance Era- Heartslabyul
A/n: It took me a bit to think of how to like...structure this but by dorm, by boy, and bullet-pointed was the best way to get this out. Hehehe. You guys enjoy these cursed Headcanons!
(Should I add the Period Saga tag list to this???)
||Heartslabyul|| Savanaclaw || Octavinelle || Scarabia || Pomefiore + Ignihyde ||Diasomnia||
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It started off as a normal afternoon. You and your boyfriend just laid down for an impromptu nap, cuddled close together and safe in each other's arms. So you can imagine their surprise when they wake up to find the bed spotted with blood. Pulling the blankets back, they see the blood coming from you...
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FIRST REACTION
Riddle
Freaks out. Just, he's trying to call an ambulance, he's ready to rain hell fire, he will actually chop someone's head off. He is honestly hyperventilating, just TEARS. How could this HAPPEN!?
The freak out was so intense that it freaks you out too until you catch back up mentally and realize, 'Oh wait, it's just my period.'
You'll have to calm him down before you start explaining because he's ready to commit murder and combust all at once. Just hold him and cuddle for a minute, he needs it.
So many fucking questions. For both of your sakes, let's hope you have a deep medical understanding of your period because he will accept nothing less in your answers.
Trey
Freak Out pt 2
Much less than Riddle, but man is CONCERNED. What do you MEAN you're bleeding out of your pussy and it's NORMAL???
Asks questions but keeps interrupting to be like 'What???'. Is trying his best but it's very clear he's having some type of internal crisis that's barely contained.
Once you've explained, he'll be pretty normal about it. You will catch him sending your crotch worried glances, but he will ignore you pointing it out.
Cater
He was .2 seconds away from calling the police and an ambulance and the National Guard and starting a live stream to call his followers to do a manhunt-
Does NOT believe you saying a period was normal. It is so out of the REALM of normal, this is not a funny joke. Oh Seven, you're SERIOUS.
You telling him about periods is lowkey destroying his world. Every little fact you give he's kinda just pacing the room giving you YouTuber reaction faces. Keeps repeating his questions because he hopes so badly you're joking and he's trying to trip you up.
Once he's accepted that this is just a THING YOU DO??? he's so tired. Just takes a moment to sit with his head in his hands. Let him just stew for a bit. He'll pop back up and ask if you need anything or if you want him to even be there. He will leave if you tell him to but he will then spiral when he gets back to his room.
Ace
What the FUCK!?
Thinks you somehow fell and just started bleeding. Literally so scared and freaked out that it looped into him just calling you a fucking dumbass while he tries to take your pants off to help.
He thinks you're lying. You're either lying to protect whoever hurt you or you're lying to keep him from ripping you a new asshole for hurting yourself this badly somehow. Takes a few tries for him to finally accept that you're telling him the truth.
'What the fuck, that's so fucking weird.' Lowkey grossed out, asks you WHY YOU DO IT (Like you can control it, dumbass)
Deuce
You got a grace period of about 20 seconds to explain before he just goes out to beat the shit out of some random NRC NPC who's been eyeing you up. His brain will fill in the blanks and he will act accordingly to whatever horror story he comes up with.
If you manage to explain in time, he is just CONCERNED. Asks if you're in pain, can he hug you? Wait do you want to be hugged? Should he leave? Wait are you just bleeding right now???
You could be talking and trying to explain more or try to calm him down but his eyes keep drifting to your crotch in minor horror. His brain is his own greatest enemy at that moment.
Lowkey he is scared, but very willing to be helpful.
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HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY?
Riddle
Once he's had a good cry and cuddle, he is like the most annoying nursemaid.
He will order you to go to bed and STAY THERE until you've stopped bleeding.
It's a hard learning curve on what you really need to make your period comfortable, but give him a loose idea of what you want and he will do his best to get it for you. Loves having a nice cup of tea with you at night to help with your cramps.
He will collect all your homework and ask Ace and Deuce to take very good notes for you because he better not see you out of bed during this.
Once he's done with classes, he comes straight to Ramshackle to do chores and sit with you. Helps you do homework in bed, hand feeds you tarts that he had Trey make.
All-in-all, once he's out of class, you've got him all to yourself as a little butler.
If you have PMS irritability, though, watch out he will debate back with you and you'll have a screaming match.
Was really concerned about the blood mainly the blood getting on him, but give him one good puppy dog look and he's in the bed with you to cuddle.
Trey
This man is catering you your whole period. You don't even need to look at the kitchen because Trey is already putting food in your mouth.
A worrier, so the second he sees you in pain he's gonna try to give you something to eat, be it sweets or a nice soup.
Is fine with you walking around but if you do get really bad cramps, he'll try to convince you to stay home.
This man is large and his hands are big. Ask him and he will massage your back for you. Kneads you like dough.
Starts carrying little pain potions for quick relief but doesn't want to give you too many of them over the course of the week.
Super good at handling you if you have PMS mood swings since he's used to keeping Riddle from killing Ace and Deuce. Could possibly backfire though because sometimes you just wanna be angry and he's ruining that by being so helpful and understanding.
He was more concerned about your comfort but once he knows you WANT to cuddle he will be right in the bed with you until you kick him out.
Cater
Help him. He's trying to be fun-loving Cay-Cay but then he'll see you in the distance and he cant even pretend to be ok.
Kinda hovers but doesn't say anything until you do.
You've thrown him out of his element, and he's not even sure how to approach you.
Starts to manage when he approaches it like when his sisters would fight each other. Only it's you just fighting with your own body.
Best cuddler. He gets the pillows, the blankets, the candles you like. Turns his phone off and just HOLDS YOU. The phone comes back when you've fallen asleep so he can watch videos.
God, PMS emotions are a whole new battlefield that he's barely surviving. If you get it please warn him. He has his methods but he's gotta KNOW he needs to prep them.
Ace
Are you still doing that bleeding thing?
Acts like your period is the most annoying thing you decided to do.
Fucking protective as fuck. Will bully the other first years if they crowd around you in worry.
Though he acts inconvenienced, he will do whatever you ask of him with minimal whining.
Pretends you're begging him to cuddle with you when he's just crawling into the bed with you. Lowkey very nice to cuddle with because he normally has very warm hands.
The cause of the PMS anger like 4/5 times...
Deuce
He will carry everything for you. Is that actually helping? Not really but he's doing what feels right.
Tell him you want anything and he will get it. He has taken food out of Ace’s hands and given it to you.
It's kinda hilarious because he'll be going about his day normally, but then you'll call him and everyone watches this man drop EVERYTHING to see what you need.
Buys whatever you asked for in bulk, even if he doesn't need to. He thinks he's being helpful by buying you 5 bags of party-sized chips and 10 2-liters of the drink you wanted when you only asked for one of each.
He has just given in to the fact his hoodies are yours now. Wonders if he'll get them back once the period is over...
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AFTER THE FACT
Riddle
He's now got your period placed on a calendar. Down to the day.
He's very proud that he already has your next period marked down on his schedule, everything is set
What do you MEAN you're not on your period? What do you MEAN your period came early!? He had a perfectly balanced schedule, what do you MEAN IT'S NOT ALWAYS 28 DAYS APART!?
Very upset if your period ever dares to 'go off schedule'. Manages to properly track it after a few months. Normally tells you when you're alone that your period is coming up.
He will ask you if you're on your period if he sees it coming up and you're upset. Please don't hit him, he's honestly asking.
Trey
WOW, that was...something...and it's gonna happen again huh???
Man's kinda dreading the next period but he does spend his downtime thinking up new recipes to give you during it.
Actually really thinks about the fruit and sugar content and how it could affect you, which fruits are good for cramping. Can he make something chilled for the headaches?
Doesn't really track your period but he will be extra conscious on your mood changes and then backtrack the days in his head to see if what he thinks is happening is.
Asks if you're ok instead if he thinks you're on your period; like a fucking decent human being.
Cater
Jesus fucking Christ, 28 days? Yeah, he'll manage to think up an actual game plan to deal with this by then. He doesn't, he fumbles through your period for a good few more times before he becomes well-versed.
He has an alarm set for the next 28 days. Lowkey forgot about your period until it happens again or when his alarm goes off for it.
Starts carrying extra pairs of your underwear and keeps one of his hoodies on him during your period. For emergencies.
Once he KNOWS you're on your period he will show up with a gift basket he put together of all your favorite things.
Wants to ask so fucking bad if you're on your period when your mood is weird, but knows better and likes not getting the spit slapped out of his mouth.
Ace
Complained more than you did during the whole thing. Acts like he isn't making the most deeply engrained mental reminder of everything that happened.
Doesn't so much as track it as he's now more aware of your mood changes during the month.
He normally asks if 'You're doing that thing again...' when he sees you kinda just lounging around miserable.
Still a brat but if you're actually having a tough period he will cuddle up and be your hot water bottle until the real one heats up.
Surprisingly doesn't ask if you're on your period during arguments. He knows next to nothing about periods but knows he will get his neck snapped if he asked that while you were already mad at him.
Deuce
So seriously asks you if you have to do that again.
Doesn't want to potentially embarrass you so he helps in tracking it by putting a red dot in his calendar for his own peace of mind. Forgets what the fuck it means after seeing it come up three weeks later.
Weirdly becomes able to sense when you start your period. Like to the minute.
You'll be in Ramshackle and your period starts. Deuce just suddenly stops at track practice like 'Something just happened...'
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HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY? ♡NSFW♡
Riddle
You want him to WHAT?
Getting Riddle to fuck is hard enough as it is. You want him to do it while you're BLEEDING???
It takes a lot of talking and actually telling him the orgasms help with the cramping for him to agree. But even then he's very embarrassed and you can only do it in the shower together.
He'll act scandalized for an hour afterward but he is happy he helped ease your pain a bit.
Trey
What?
Like you both have sex regularly, he didn't think you'd...want to...while...okay...
Kinda awkward with it starting out but slowly gets more used to the idea.
He's gotta be extra cautious with cleanup since the blood is everywhere, but if it means you gotta take one less pain potion he'll do his part.
Not really into period sex, but if you ask he will help you. He just starts investing in some thick towels because he likes doing it on the bed with you.
Cater
...Yeah, Okay
Lowkey so confused but if you say it'll help, he'll help.
Really likes to finger you. Fucking paints his nails red during your period so no one makes a single comment on why his fingertips look pinkish.
Will get his clones involved if you ask him to/let him. Makes it a fun game on what's most sensitive, your pussy or your nipples?
Ace
"Gross, sure."
Literally what he says while already undoing his pants.
Like he flip-flops through your period as either being very supportive or the literal reason you're about to knock his teeth out. You have not been fucking.
So him hearing that orgasms help during this??? He's saying yes every time you ask and even offering when he sees you cramping.
Does make a comment on the period blood making it super easy to slide in. Lowkey kinda looks forward to period sex now.
Deuce
Is that...Safe???
Takes a bit of talking since, as far as he's seen, everything is achy and sensitive and you are very not in the mood like that. Not really the right setting for sex...
But once he's assured, he goes at it like getting you to orgasm is his fucking job.
Be warned, he will get into it and do his best to give you back-to-back orgasms. Overstimulation be damned.
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ticktokrobotsnot · 1 year ago
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This is Part 2
You can read Part 1 here.
Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader 
Summary: An accountant helps Carmen organize his not-so-shit-restaurant and gets invited over for family dinner. 
Word Count: 10k
__
The sky was blood orange and the reflection on the store window was mesmerizing. Y/n was supposed to be in the office getting ready for the full day ahead of her but she couldn’t resist slacking off for a bit, it was nice to finally enjoy the restaurant with no one inside. Y/n needed to be here early when a potential vendor came by to give some quotes. Carmen’s initial reaction was to stand his ground and act like some faux bodyguard because he couldn't fathom why some “sick fuck” would want to be alone with a woman in a restaurant at the ass crack of dawn without them having bad intentions—said it wasn't safe at all. Y/n had to inform him that the, “sick fuck” was a woman. And as soon as Carmen heard that, and realized they were going to be talking numbers for a while, he ran off to the farmer's market, wanting no part in that snooze fest. 
Y/n grabbed her laptop and started reviewing the binders she organized. Just as y/n was about to check her phone for any messages, she heard a knock at the door. A pretty blond woman looks at y/n with a bit of confusion. This woman wasn’t expecting to see y/n and y/n wasn't expecting to see this woman. Y/n walked to the door and opened a crack. 
“Who are you?” Y/n questioned. 
“I could ask you the same thing.” The women laughed but y/n wasn’t finding this funny.
“Natalie…” Y/n shook her head like a bouncer sending a teeager away without his fake ID.
“Natalie Berzatto.” She clarified and y/n recalled the name as a co-signer for The Beef, now The Bear. Y/n opened the door a bit more to let her in. 
Y/n gave her name but she didn’t know what else to say but Natalie was already filling the space. 
“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Carmen won't stop talking about you. You really saved our asses. Especially with the file organizing stuff, I found the old payroll stuff in like a minute, you're a real savant with stuff like that. Carmy is a real sticker for cooking but he is a real shit-”. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Natalie was nervous.
Y/n knew that Natalie was a part of Carmen’s family but she didn’t know how they were connected. One plausible scenario was that she was Micheal’s widowed girlfriend or wife, which would explain why anyone would co-sign the disaster that Micheal had created and promptly left. Y/n wondered why Carmen would be getting so chummy with his widowed sister-in-law, but then again men have done worse. 
Y/n bit the bullet, “How do you know Carmen?”
“I'm his sister… Sugar?” Y/n was starting to feel like a real idiot for not being able to piece these easy deductions together, she was losing her edge because it was to fucking early in the morning.
“Yes, Richie told me that “Sugar” was going to stop by this week. What can I do for you?” Y/n didn’t mention that she thought Sugar was going to be a stripper because of the name. 
“Actually I came to pick some old tax stuff… Micheal’s tax returns.” Y/n guided her to the office. Even if she didn’t look back she knew that Natalie was spying on her binders and laptop laid out on the counter, trying to find out a bit about y/n. 
“So, Carmy tells me that you two used to work together back in New York.”
“Yeah it was only for a few years.”
“Were you close?” Natalie probed. 
“We were…strangers at best.” Y/n chose to leave out the messy parts of her and Carmen’s origins. 
Natalie shook her head in disbelief. "That can't be true, he actually came to my place one day, pretty late. You know why?" Y/n, not knowing the answer, simply shrugged her shoulders. 
"He said he needed to make an important phone call, someone from his old job. He said that he wanted to ask for a bit of help." Natalie continued, her voice tinged with wishfulness "I thought maybe he was finally going to therapy or something." Y/n felt a strange sensation, like she was staring directly into the sun, hope gave Natalie a beautiful glow. 
Natalie's smile softened as she added, "And you know what? He made that phone call right on our porch." Her words carried a touch of warmth. "Well, at least he's reaching out for help. It's a good thing, right?"
“I recommended therapy to him too but I think we would need to put a gun to his head for him to actually go." Natalie let out a humored exhale. 
There was a lull of silence after she handed the tax returns. Y/n could sense that Natalie wanted to talk some more so y/n directed her to the bar stools out front. She checked her phone and saw that her vendor had a family emergency and needed to reschedule. After shooting a quick ok, she directed herself to face Natalie. 
"You can ask me anything. I've got plenty of time to kill." Y/n offered, feeling generous considering the recent kiss shared with Natalie's brother just a week ago.
“I was here a few times but I never had a chance to meet you?”
“I was probably apartment hunting.” Natalie looked like she was debating asking her next question.   
“What did you think of Carmen when you guys were back in New York?”
“He was like every other chef.”
“Nothing else? No pulling force?”
“No pulling force.”
“You moved state lines for him and you're saying there was no pulling force?”
“He asked me for help and I gave him some.” 
“You chose to stay. There had to be a pull.”
“The restaurant spoke to my soul, I had to stay.” Y/n was bluffing. 
“Bullshit, there was a pull.” Natalie said with a self fulfilled smirk like she had won a point in their imaginary game.
Natalie continued, “You know, he won a Michelin star. A man who cooks…is not too bad.”
“I don’t eat gourmet food. It’s pretentious.” Y/n didn’t want to make too much out of the kiss and make Carmen panic.
“I'm sure he can make something you will like.” 
“I have yet to eat something of his that would warrant him having a Michelin star.”
“You don’t like his cooking?”
“I don’t like anyone’s cooking.” Natalie couldn’t come up with something else. Point to y/n. A smile spread across y/n’s face and Natalie was relieved to realize that y/n wasn’t being serious. 
“What do you like doing?” Natalie probed. 
“I spend most of my time working here but I also read.” 
“Why did you leave New York?” Natalie blurted out.
“I don’t like working with other people, my boss was all over me. I thought Chicago would be a nice change of pace.” 
Y/n saw Natalie unlock her phone to respond to a text from someone named Pete, who had a pink heart near his name. Y/n knew that memorizing people’s passwords was an invasion of their privacy but it was fun to be a bit nosy. 
Y/n was also tired of getting the third-degree, she was hoping for a few fun questions asking if she ever murdered anyone or if she ever was contacted to be a part of a bank heist. She would be lying if she wasn’t a bit afraid that whatever she said would be relayed to Carmen so she didn’t want to say anything too damning. 
“You read romance?” Y/n saw the book peeking out of Natalie’s bag, it was one that she had read before. 
“Yeah, they’re my guilty pleasure.”
“Mine too. I liked that one.” Y/n pointed at the book peaking out.
“I hate it, it's filled with miscommunication. I’m only finishing it to justify the 12 dollars I spent.” Natalie said with a fake pout. 
“I love miscommunication because I suck at talking to people too. Much better than the one I just finished.”
“What killed your book?”
“Third-act break up.” Natalie nodded her head, it seems like they agreed. 
Y/n couldn't help but feel relieved; while the nature of Y/n's relationship with Carmen remained uncertain, it was evident that Natalie would become a more integral part of the restaurant. Carmen's recent discovery of three hundred thousand dollars hidden in tomato cans had sparked ambitious plans for renovating the place. Even if she ended up being nothing serious with Carmen, she needed to secure a stable support who wouldn’t completely hate her if shit hit the fan. 
They continued to talk about a few books that they had read, a few so trashy that they had to hide their faces in embarrassment from each other when reading the summary out loud. 
The door chimed and both women looked over to Carmen who was holding a few bags of produce and baked goods. Y/n went over and plucked the receipts for the top of one of the bags, she didn’t bother helping Carmen because he wouldn’t have let her help anyways. Carmen was gracious enough to put all the receipts together so she wasn’t digging to find them, she kept a record of them to write them off as a business deduction. 
“Nat, you’re here early?” Carmen spared a glance before opening a box of croissants to share and then disappearing to the kitchen to put everything away. 
“Yeah I had to pick something up, y/n was so kind to help me so early in the morning. Isn’t she just the best?” 
“Yeah…How did it go with the vendor?” Carmen mindlessly mumbled while busying himself with a notebook of recipe ideas. 
“Rescheduled.” Y/n didn’t look up, engrossed in cataloging some expensive mushrooms for record keeping. $268.43 for some mushrooms was honestly so ridiculous y/n needed to squint to see if she was seeing this right. 
“I need to return the favor.” Natalie started.
“It was just a few folders, you really don’t-”
“Why don’t you join us for dinner on friday?” Y/n felt like she was performing front and center.
“I couldn’t-.” 
“Please, Pete never wants to talk to me about…” Natalie was raising her eyebrows in the most unsubtle way possible so she didn’t expose y/n's softer side and her penchant for reading romance novels. Y/n couldn’t help but hide her face in embarrassment, “Yeah…fine. Just tell me what time.”
Observing the exchange, Carmen couldn't help but wonder if this was how dogs felt when humans engaged in their own incomprehensible conversations.
Y/n was starting to feel like she was edging closer and closer to Carmen’s limit. Kissing in the back alley of a restaurant and on the car ride to and from work was very different from being invited to his sister’s house for dinner. It carried a weight of intimacy, commitment, and solidity that made Y/n slightly uneasy, wondering if this was too much for Carmen. She waited for the other shoe to drop, Carmen would subtly show his discontent by telling Natalie that she shouldn’t force y/n to go to that dinner, which was just an excuse to create some distance. Y/n was surprised when Carmen asked what type of desert he should bring instead. 
Y/n kept her cool and excused herself to go to the office so she could get back to work. 
Carmen and Natalie moved to the kitchen where Carmen would experiment for a bit. Natalie sat on a stool next to Carmen who started washing produce. 
“She is very smart.” Natalie whispered. She took a glance at the closed office door.
“Yeah. Great with the books.” Carmen peeled and diced some garlic. 
“Nice too.”
“She is very nice.” Carmen started cutting some nepitella. The additional “very” caused some alarm bells to ring in Natalie’s head. She hid her smirk. 
“Everything about her is nice,” Natalie made sure to pay close attention to Carmen’s face, “Nice personality, nice face-” Carmen took a worried glance at the office door and then looked up at Natalie with wide eyes.
“Why, why, what are you-?” He was flustered. 
“I’m just sharing my observations. You don’t think she has a nice face-?”
“This is a business, we try to keep professional.” Carmen hid his fumble with fake professionality, unfortunately Natalie saw right through it. 
“Try?” Natalie teased. Carmen looked away to pretend to look for some dried porcini. He felt like an idiot. He understood why people used to see him as an easy target when he was younger, he basically showed everyone his buttons, and asked them to get pushed. Carmen continued to chop in silence. 
“I'm sorry, I just got a bit excited. I won't push.” Natalie gave her brother the benefit of the doubt, she always thought he would never get into a serious relationship but he liked y/n and y/n seemed like the serious girlfriend type. Natalie couldn’t help but nudge Carmen in the right direction. 
Carmen chopped in silence for a few minutes, debating if he should tell Natalie about the kiss. In his mind, he didn’t know if it was too soon for him to introduce his girlfriend to his family. Calling y/n his girlfriend felt unreal, past him wouldn’t believe it even if he saw it.  
He handed his notebook to Natalie so she could read measurements to him, he wanted her here for just a bit longer till he gained the courage to tell her about y/n. 
Tagliatelle with porcini mushrooms was the first test item of the morning, and he had to soak the dried porcini for 30 minutes, he was bummed that the market didn't have the fresh kind but he knew he would get the real shit when y/n got a hold of that vendor. He looked up at Natalie and tilted his head to indicate that they should leave. Carmen avoided the alley because he knew that y/n would look there first and he didn’t want her to overhear anything. They walked over to a nearby supermarket and started roaming the aisles. It was nearly empty because it was six in the morning. 
“I did something…and I need you to not…just listen and don’t make it a big deal.”
“I got it, Carmy.” 
“A while ago, I…” Carmen looked at all the different types of instant noodles they had on display. “So, we were in deep shit with these pre-orders and I was a mess and y/n and I were talking after…” Carmen moved over to the boxed pasta, he didn't intend to buy anything but he did read the nutritional facts.
“I umm, asked her to…” Jesus, Carmen wondered, why he didn’t make more friends so he didn’t have to talk to his older sister about something like this. Richie didn’t seem capable of giving any advice that wasn’t, “Just Do It”.
 “We ki…” Natalie kept her face hard but the second that Carmen turned around to look at a box of elbow pasta, she couldn't help herself but let out a small, barely audible squeal of delight. Her eyes widened, and a grin threatened to break through her determined facade. Natalie quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her elation, making sure not to let Carmen catch a glimpse. She stifled her excitement with every fiber of her being, preserving the illusion of calmness for when Carmen turned back around, none the wiser.
“It’s been a while, and we k…” Carmen didn’t know how he was supposed to maturely ask for advice when he couldn’t even say a kiss in front of his sister while cringing. Carmen couldn’t do this, it was too open, too vulnerable. 
Nat cut him some slack and started asking questions instead, “Was it a one time thing?” Carmen subtly shook his head no. Her lips parted as she squeezed a jar of Pego to contain herself. 
“Do you regret it?” Carmen didn’t respond but that didn’t mean no, that ment that she was getting closer to the root of the problem.
“Do you think she’s going to regret it?” Carmen’s shoulder’s raised slightly, bingo. 
“Why don’t I gauge how she is feeling at dinner.” Nat knew he was about to run away from her for exposing too much and she had to give him an incentive to not follow his instincts. 
She continued, “We talked earlier, she said she hates your cooking.” Carmen’s head snapped up, Nat knew that y/n was just joking but it was still a bit funny to mess with Carmen. 
The look of shock transported her back to when she was eight sitting next to Carmy and watching Micheal convince him to finish a glass of milk or else he would lose all of his teeth to a calcium deficiency. This wasn’t the time to reminisce but it made her heart warm knowing that even after going through so much, there was still a part of young Carmy that persevered. She was feeling the burning in the back of her eyes, her hormones were making her sentimental. 
“Yeah she said that your food fucking blows.” Carmen caught on and let out a small laugh.
They both roamed in the aisle moving on to juices. Sugar free, diet, pineapple, orange. Carmen’s eyebrows raised when he saw the price of orange juice before putting it down and deciding to just make his own. 
Carmen started, “She isn’t the type of person who changes her mind easily,” but if she can make that shift to see him in a good light, maybe she'll stick around and eventually see the real Carmen—a pathetic, insecure loser. All he did was make a promise to her but he knew it meant nothing without actions, and he was unsure if he could control his anger or keep his obsessiveness in check when something especially difficult happened. If another shit storm made its rounds in the kitchen, would he really be able to be the bigger person? Carmen doubted it. 
Carmen just ripped off the bandaid, “I don’t know how to…I want her to not hate me. I know I'm going to..” Carmen waited till a child next to them moved to the other end of teh aisle towards his dad, “..fuck it up, but I dont want that to happen.” 
“What makes you think she is going to hate you?”
“When we were talking…she told me that I should have done better. And that I…needed to be “stable”, but I don’t know how to be that for myself, let alone someone else.”
“She isn’t asking you to do it for her, she wants you to do it for yourself.” Natalie offered. 
“Its like having to solve a word search to answer a stupid fucking puzzle. I don’t…” Carmen sighed in defeat. Nat knew that he was strong and it was impossible for her to fix this for him but that still made her palms itch seeing him struggle like this. She racked her brain, desperately seeking any glimmer of a solution that could offer him even a shred of relief. 
They both walked out the market towards the restaurant. “It's really hard…and it's not that I don’t want to, it just feels impossible.” Carmen muttered, he was close to giving up. 
A burning sensation welled up in the back of Natalie's throat, and she instinctively placed her hand on Carmen's shoulder as a gesture of support and to her surprise Carmen looked at her, saw her glassy eyes and hugged her. The shock knocked a few tears from her eyes.. 
Carmy was not a selfish person but Nat noticed that he was becoming a bit more aware that he takes up much more space then he originally thought he did. He now knew that his presence was big enough to be able to tear people down but was also big enough to offer meaningful support. He had come to understand his own significance, and this realization struck Natalie like a tidal wave, causing her to burst into uncontrollable sobs. 
“Does crying mean I'm fucked, Sugar?” Carmen asked, his voice tinged with humor and uncertainty, as he gently rubbed Natalie's back for comfort. Nat shook her head no.
“You'll be okay. You always are.” Nat wiped her face before continuing to walk back to the restaurant. 
Carmen snuck a few glances to see what was making his sister a sobbing mess, she wasn’t the type to break down like that, “Are you good?” Natalie nodded her head.
“Everything good at home?” It felt strange to say the word home, even after visiting multiple countries and living in many different apartments, Carmen couldn’t really call any place home. Home was supposed to be a sanctuary of warmth, Carmen's closest experience to that feeling was back in his family house—a place where the warmth was scalding and suffocating. Where it was a constant waiting game, anticipating the intense heat to escalate and cause everything, and everyone, to boil over. 
Carmen was acutely aware that he would never have a home quite like Sugar's. He couldn't help but wonder if he had what it took to be like Pete for someone else—always helpful, kind, and perhaps a little too accommodating. He questioned whether he had the capacity to fulfill that role and maintain his own sense of self. Granted, what about his “self” was worth preserving?
Natalie nodded her head but Carmen wasn’t convinced. “It's just a lot, you know. Seeing the place getting renovated. I used to hate that place, but..” She sighed, “...I picked up Micheal’s tax returns, I didn’t even need them for anything…I just wanted to see them to know what he was going through towards the…'' end. She didn’t need to finish for Carmen to know what she was talking about. They were in front of the restaurant and Carmen gave her a side hug and against his better judgment he tried his hand in verbal reassurance so he could be there for her, fully. 
“I think he tried his best to make everything look fine, and it’s nice to know that he was at least able to pretend till the...end.” Sugar looked up at him and didn’t comment on his successful attempt to be her support, not wanting to scare him. 
They wordlessly walked in the restaurant and Carmen finished up his dish. He made enough for one plate because he was expecting to have to remake it a few times. He grabbed a small plate and served a separate plate for y/n before knocking on her door. She looked up at him, not hearing him and gave him a “hmm” which echoed in his chest. She sat with them in the kitchen, taking her laptop with her. They all took the first bite together. Carmen watched both women’s reactions to gauge their uncensored reactions. Natalie’s eyebrows raised and she gave him a nod of approval. 
Y/n took a bite and looked up from her plate so see Carmen staring at her. “Why are you staring?”
“Do you not like it?” 
“It’s good.” Y/n put her fork down and propped up her head on her hand. 
“But, you didn’t-”
“I’m not really a foodie, so food is never like…” Y/n made an explosion sound and flicked her hands open, “Good, is the best you going to get out of me.” Natalie wondered how a chef and an anti-gourmet foodie were going to work. 
“Is all food just ”good”?” Y/n looked up and tried to think of food that was better than good.
“I like mom's cooking.” 
“What is her food like?”
“Intense…subtly in food doesn’t mean anything to me because I don’t taste the difference.” Carmen was waiting for more for y/n.
“I ate a lot of spicy, sour and bitter food growing up. My mom didn’t think that kids should eat different things than everyone else, so I guess pasta and mushrooms will always be just “good”.” Y/n felt like she was just shitting all over his profession but he asked for her opinion so he couldn’t get offended now. 
Carmen nodded his head before walking away. Y/n pierced her lips and looked over to Natalie wondering if she hurt Carmen’s feelings. Natalie looked just as bewildered. Just as y/n was about to find Carmen, he came out with a few more ingredients.
“What are you making?” 
“Something you will like.” 
“I liked what you made-” 
“Good is not enough.” 
“Come on, Carmen, it's something that everyone will like, it’s going to kill opening day.”
“But you have to like it.” Y/n sighed before indicating that he should continue. 
“You won’t be able to serve the food I like to eat, it would be considered a biological weapon.” Y/n was warning him but Carmen thought she was teasing him. He would learn to listen to her warning in the future. He put the porcini mushrooms to the side before getting started on some penne all’arrabbiata. 
Y/n laughed at him knowing that he wouldn’t have the courage to spice up a dish to her standard before grabbing her laptop so she could get some work done and also talk to Natalie about contractors. 
While Carmen chopped and stirred, y/n subtly glanced up at his flexing back and strong arms. She thought she was hiding it well but when she went to check if Natalie noticed she saw that Natalie was already watching her. Natalie snickered as y/n hid her face behind her laptop to hide her embarrassment. Carmen turned around to see what was so funny but was just met with the view of both of them with their faces hiding behind their hands. 
Y/n felt someone pass behind her and knew it was Sydney without having to look up. “Hey guys, what are we making?” She took a bite out of the pasta, which was slightly cooled but she still nodded her head. 
“It’s fire, chef. It would be great if it was hot, I want to remake it to see what it was supposed to taste like.”
Y/n couldn’t say that she completely forgave Sydney but y/n did respect that she went to Richie to give some type of apology after a while. Y/n could accept that the two of them wouldn’t be best friends, they just needed to be able to work together. 
Y/n went to Carmen’s locker before pulling out a few Tums for everyone, it looks like today was going to be pasta day because of her and she didn’t want to send everyone home with a stomach ache.
Carmen continued with his pasta, and served it in front of y/n. All the women took a bite,
“It’s got a kick to it.” Natalie said while reaching for a food container filled with water while wiping sweat from her brow. Sydney gave Carmen a, “This is fire, chef.” Y/n couldn't help but cringe inwardly at the comment because she knew she couldn't quite match their shared vernacular and the ease with which they expressed themselves with food. What private passion did y/n and Carmen share?
Carmen stared y/n down as she took a bite.
“It’s good.” Carmen waited for her to elaborate. “It’s too subtle.” 
Carmen smirked, “Yeah, next time I'll just make you a ball of fire for you to enjoy.” Y/n gave him a shit eating grin, it was just too fun not to mess with him, and when she saw him smile back she felt a bit of imaginary nostalgia, this was what she longed for back in New York. 
The restaurant was still closed for renovations and after a while a few other crew members came by to do some demo. Y/n was stuck on hold with the inspector's office when she was approached by Natalie, “I’ve got a doctor’s appointment so I've got to go, I’ll see you on Friday at eight.” 
The rest of the week flew by because they were on a very strict time crunch to open in a few months. Y/n wasn’t very worried but she could feel the nerves from everyone else and she knew it would be in bad taste to tell them to toughen up, so she let them be grown ups and deal with their own anxieties. 
On Friday, y/n left early to get ready for dinner, she opened an old moving box and pulled out a dress that she wore to an old work function. It was very tasteful because it was freezing outside. Y/n grabbed her gifts before running into Carmen’s car. Y/n took one look at Carmen and had to do a double take to make sure that she went into the right person’s car. Carmen’s hair was lighty slicked back, probably with pomade, and he was wearing a deep blue sweater with a white collar. 
“I didn’t know you had clothes other than aprons and Dickies.”
“You look..” Carmen marveled at the way her eyes sparkled with an inner radiance, drawing him in like a moth to a flame. He knew he wasn’t able to get the full picture yet because they were in a dark car but he could only imagine what she would do to him when they went to the well lit house. “..great.” Carmen wanted to punch himself for being so unoriginal but he couldn’t focus on anything. 
“Thank you, you look good too. Blue is definitely your color..” Carmen’s fingers loosened around the steering wheel, compliments had always made him uneasy; he spent the majority of his life trying to make himself as small as possible and now he was pushed into the spotlight and he wondered if he even liked it?
“Carmen, can you look at me for a second?” And when he swiveled his head towards y/n, she squished his face lighty before giving his puckered lips a soft kiss. Just as she was about to lean back into her seat, Carmen, unable to resist, slipped his hand beneath her hair, grasping the back of her neck and drawing her in for a deeper, more passionate second kiss. 
Yeah, he liked it.
“We are going to be late.” Y/n whispered before giving him one last peck. Carmen, still in a daze, fiddled with the radio so he could get his head straight. The ride to his sister’s house was quiet barring the soft jazz. Y/n was very nervous, they never had that conversation that said that they were official and for all she knew she was just a friend that Carmen kissed from time to time. She resisted the urge to ask right now because she was scared to find out that they were nothing more. She would savor the few minutes before she was inevitably introduced as a friend, or worse a co-worker. 
They pulled into Natalie’s driveway and got out of the car, y/n grabbed the bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine and they rang the doorbell. 
"Why are you holding the tray like that?" Y/n asked, noticing how Carmen clung to it like a shield. Before she could receive a response, Natalie opened the door with a warm greeting, inviting them inside. Y/n handed over the gifts, but Carmen still clung onto his belongings. Just then, Peter descended the stairs, seemingly about to approach Carmen for a hug before his gaze landed on Carmen's protective tray. He hesitated and stepped back, realizing it was acting as a barrier. Y/n stifled a laugh, biting her cheek to prevent herself from laughing at Carmen’s immaturity.
Carmen greeted, “Pete.” Y/n could feel the dislike and she felt bad for Pete because he seemed nice.
“Carmen, it’s good to see you, man.”
“This is my girlfriend, y/n.” A sense of numbness overwhelmed her. It was like when people get run over by a semi and say that they don’t feel anything. Y/n extended her hand to shake Pete's, and she followed him into the living room. 
Carmen went into the kitchen to help Natalie and y/n made pleasant conversation with Pete, he seemed a bit soft but she could understand why Natalie might want someone like him. Y/n pretended to be interested when he showed her his Cubs memorabilia, she initially thought the Cubs were a fictional sports team made by the New Girl writers. 
Y/n and Pete walked over to the kitchen and asked if they needed any help. Pete looked like he wanted to actually be helpful but y/n had her fingers crossed hoping she didn’t have to do any cooking. It was weird to see Carmen let someone else take the lead while he watched. Even with Sydney, he still watched over everything like a hawk, not because he didn’t trust her, it's just because he wouldn’t let her fail. 
Y/n watched as everyone spoke and she wondered where she fit in. Natalie and Carmen were obviously close and Pete was doing his best to get close to Carmen, trying to bridge the obvious gap between them. Y/n had to stop herself from telling Carmen to either be nicer or for Pete to drop it.
Other than being Carmen’s new “girlfriend” and sharing small talk, what else was there for her to talk about? Y/n didn’t know them well but she could tell there was a lot of subtext between the three of them that added weight to their interactions that she wasn’t privy to yet. She was a flame trying to suck in any bubble of oxygen so she could ignite, she needed more information before she could actually join them.
 It felt like she was reading Dune for the first time, being dropped in the middle of an already moving plot and she was scrambling to play catch up. Carmen had a lot of triggers and she wondered if Natalie was the same. Even if they acted completely differently, y/n could tell that they were sidestepping something, like they were avoiding talking about a gaping bullet wound, and if siblings were acting like that it means that it's a problem with the parents. Despite the fact that they were in the kitchen, the three of them weren’t talking about the food. Y/n made a mental checklist of a few rules; 1. Don’t bring up parents 2. Don't mention food because it's a trigger 3. Pay attention to Natalie because she was not as good at hiding her feelings as Carmen. 
Dinner was served and they all took a seat, y/n took slow sips of wine and saw that Natalie’s wine was slightly darker than hers. Y/n was sitting across Natalie so she recognized the smell too, apple. She was drinking sparkling apple cider. Y/n hid her smirk by talking another sip, she would be a spy or something because she was killing it in the recon department. 
Dinner was starting to feel stiff, y/n took a deep breath and turned to Natalie, “Your cooking is to die for.” Natalie tucked in her lips but couldn’t help but hide her smile, y/n never told Carmen anything like that, barring the first day she got to Chicago, it was a petty way of getting back at him for blindsiding her by calling her his girlfriend. 
“Thanks, It's a family recipe.” Y/n wanted to stab herself with the fork, she just broke rule one and two. Just as y/n was about to make some asinine comment to change topics, Carmen did it for her.
“Can you pass me the bread, Sugar?” Y/n found her opening.
“Sugar, that’s a nice nickname, what’s the story?” 
Natalie paused and y/n had a feeling she fucked up, “We were having this Chrismas family thing and I added a cup of sugar into the gravy instead of salt. The name just stuck.” Y/n definitely fucked up, she was breaking rules left and right. Y/n scrabbled to put herself in the same level as Natalie.
“I’ve been there. My parents were having a few co-worker over for lunch and they brought a box of these expensive mangos and I was told to make some smoothies because it was boiling that day. I filled up the sugar container with salt without noticing and made them smoothies with a ton of salt.” Y/n saw that all eyes were on her and she didn’t allow herself to be nervous because she was trying to get a deeper point across.
Y/n continued, “I have never heard that many people gag all at once.” Their faces broke into a smile.
“What did your mom say?” Bingo, looks like the taboo parent could be narrowed down to their mother. 
“She didn’t say anything bad, she and her co-workers just laughed. I mean I was a kid and we all make mistakes. I ended up making lemonade instead.”
Natalie’s eyes lit up,“It’s a shame that all those mangos went to waste.” Natalie joked. 
“Waste?” Y/n had a fake offense, “I drank the rest to prove that it wasn’t that bad.”
“Was it that bad?” Pete asked.
“My blood pressure was through the roof. It was the first time I ever got a headache.” 
The rest of dinner was a bit more relaxed, y/n was expecting Carmen to talk a bit more because these were his people but it looked like she would have to do the talking for the both of them. They finished up dinner and y/n got up to help them clean up. It was y/n and Carmen alone in the kitchen while Natalie went upstairs to check on something, aka she needed some rest and Pete went to check up on her. 
As Carmen washed the dishes, Y/n stood by, towel in hand, drying them. The domestic scene felt comfortable, yet she couldn't determine if she truly enjoyed this newfound domesticity. She wondered if in Carmen’s eyes she was merely playing the role of the perfect partner – someone who could effortlessly navigate his family dynamics, fix his business, and be his own manic pixie dream girl. 
A selfish thought crossed Y/n's mind. What was she truly gaining from this relationship? She had been too afraid to make a move with Carmen after the kiss, fearing that one misstep could lead her to being shut out completely. She hesitated to voice her preferences about his food, to ask about the nature of their relationship, or to discuss their future plans if this relationship fell through. Y/n wasn't one to dwell in discomfort, except for her previous job, and she felt frustrated that she had to jump through so many hoops just to ensure that Carmen wouldn't leave.
They finished the dishes and y/n could tell that Carmen wanted to check on Natalie but he didn’t want to leave y/n alone. Y/n being a supportive girlfriend, practically pushed him up the steps before walking out the front door and leaning on the porch. Y/n grabbed her jacket and walked out. She underestimated the frigid Chicago air which felt like a sharp slap to her face, serving as a wake-up call. It reminded her that the warm and fuzzy feeling she had been battling within herself was merely fleeting, and that the reality of the world could be much harsher and more painful. 
Y/n couldn’t help but wonder why Carmen was even bothering with her, they had nothing in common but the restaurant. Work was everything for him and Sydney, their shared connection always pulled them together despite both of their volatile personalities. What pulled y/n and Carmen together? They both worked in the restaurant but Carmen didn’t have a passion for running said restaurant, it was a mere obligation that y/n took from him. If she stopped working there, what else did they have in common? 
Y/n came to the daunting realization that Carmen picked Sydney because he saw potential in her, a chance to let both him and her grow. However, he didn’t pick y/n because he saw something deeper in her, it was an act of embarrassed desperation. 
Was she just a means to help Carmen get his shit together? The restaurant meant a lot to Micheal and after he died Carmen stopped seeing the restaurant as something that was out of his reach but as something to connect him to his brother, a small thread connecting the estranged brothers. Y/n was there to hold up the connection in the vaguest of ways, she kept the restaurant afloat so Carmen could come to terms with Micheals’s legacy, good and bad.
She was lost in thought when she heard the door close, she turned her head to see Carmen was already lighting a cigarette. It was difficult for her to be objective when Carmen locked eyes with her with such intensity. Y/n ripped her eyes from him and faced forward looking at the neighbor's yard, they had nice shrubs. 
“I thought you left.” Carmen started as he leaned on the railing with y/n. He looked forward to see what was so interesting that y/n couldn’t look him in the face, it was just some trees.
“I needed some air.”
“You could catch a cold.” 
“I don’t get sick, sick is a mindset.” Y/n was obviously joking. 
She lowered her head so that she could feel the cold metal on her forehead, maybe a different type of pain would make this conversation easier. Her forehead landed on something warm, the back of Carmen’s hand. She turned her head to its side but remained connected to Carmen’s hand. The warmth radiating on her cheek was making her stomach do backflips. Even if she knew she shouldn’t be indulging like this she couldn’t help it. He felt too good and y/n was getting more and more greedy. 
“Hey, Carmen?” Carmen was still staring at y/n. “What do we have in common?” He looked taken aback.
“We like each other…” He was starting to feel the slow slitter of nausea because he knew the other shoe was about to drop.
“If we don’t have much in common, what do we talk about?” 
“We can talk about whatever we like. It’s nice to…be with someone who isn't wrapped up in the same things as me.” Carmen expressed a genuine warmth in his voice. Carmen wanted to say that she made him feel like the roof wasn’t going to collapse on him and that the small things weren’t going to destroy him but it felt selfish to describe how much he cared for her based on how she made him feel and not on facts about her. 
“I don’t care about fancy food.” Y/n blurted out.
Carmen chuckled, “You know about the vendors, where the supplies are sourced, how much they cost, and a bunch of other stuff. You do care, just in a different way than I do.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It gives me perspective. It’s very realistic and grounded.” Y/n knew he was calling her realistic and grounded. 
“I like hearing you talk about my food.” Carmen offered.
“Even if it’s just “good”?”
“Especially if it's just "good". That means you're telling me the truth.” Carmen recalled a ninth grade world history lesson about the Rosetta Stone, an artifact written in three different languages and made it possible to translate some ancient language. Though he hadn't fully paid attention during the lesson, Carmen now saw the parallel. If Y/n had the courage to express her opinions on his food, it meant she was being honest with him about everything else. 
Y/n cracked a smile before covering her mouth and started laughing. It was a jarring sound, Carmen couldn’t pinpoint what the laugh was meant to convey but he knew it wasn’t good. 
“What?” Carmen asked, Y/n rubbed her face with her cold hands. 
“You said that you were scared of me a while back but now…” Y/n's laughter softened into a smaller chuckle, conveying a mix of amusement and irony.
“I’m scared of you.” The weight was lifted off her shoulders and slammed down on Carmen's. Y/n wondered if this is how the rest of their relationship was going to be; one person transferring their hurt to the other till the weight became too much to bear. 
"It's... I want to bring so many things up to you but..." Y/n wondered if this counted as an accusation. "..you’re so flighty. I don't know what to say that won't make you..." Y/n struggled to find a word that didn't feel so definitive, but the only word that felt honest was, "...leave."
The porch fell into an uneasy silence, both of them grappling with the weight of Y/n's vulnerability.
"I...I didn't realize..." Carmen stammered, his voice betraying his inner turmoil. "I would never just... leave." They both stared in silence, they knew that wasn’t true. Y/n lifted her head leaving the warmth behind, she knew this wouldn’t work if he made false promises. And against everything telling her to just accept his promise as law and ignore any doubts, she couldn’t fool herself like that. 
“That’s such bullshit.” Y/n lighty giggled. It felt as though a shark had promised to stop swimming—it was ingrained in their nature. In that lighthearted moment, a mischievous thought crossed Y/n's mind: What would happen if Carmen actually stopped running away? Would he cease to exist, like a fish in space? 
Her playful musings, though immature, offered a brief respite from the weight of their conversation. It was a temporary escape, a way to diffuse the tension. Y/n noticed that she brought all this shit up to comfort herself but she was giggling to make him feel safe. Even when she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn't help but try to make him feel better. 
As the laughter subsided, Y/n met Carmen's eyes, she forced herself to ignore the emotions he was conveying and instead tried to match his eyes with things she had seen in the past. If this ended poorly, she would miss his eyes the most and she wanted to know what else could match in intensity in case she never got to see him like this ever again, nothing came to mind.
Carmen felt like he was backed into a corner, he couldn’t promise her anything without her, justifiably, doubting him. 
"I don't want to leave you," Carmen offered, his voice carrying a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability. It was the most honest response he could offer at that moment. He couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't feel the urge to run, to escape when things got tough, but he had a genuine desire to stay. 
Y/n's eyes met Carmen's, her expression softened. She knew it wasn't a perfect answer, but it was a step forward. It was enough to know that he acknowledged his own complexities and still chose to be present with her.
They stood in the quiet watching neighbors turn off their living room lights and go upstairs. She wanted to test out whether, “They could talk about whatever they wanted too.” 
“What do you think they’re doing?” Y/n asked, Carmen parted his lips and turned his face to look at y/n so see if she was serious, she was.
“I think they go to bed and she has this super long night time routine and he is already asleep by the time she gets to bed. You?” Y/n knew that if they ever slept over at each other’s place, that’s exactly what would happen between them. 
“She probably got home from a shit day and she starts reading an easy romance book…Do you read any books?”
“They are mostly cooking stuff.” He took a drag from his cigarette.
“You read cookbooks for entertainment?”
“Sometimes, it's a part of the craft.” Carmen realized how fucking pretentious he sounded and was a bit ashamed but seeing y/n refrain from teasing him by bitting her lips made him not want to crawl into a hole and die of shame, her smile was addicting. “…but there is a lot of history and science too. '' Carmen knew he sucked at conversation but he would do anything to keep talking. 
“What was your last book?” 
Y/n and Carmen kept talking till they lost track of time and eventually when they had reached a comfortable lull, y/n could confidently say that they were in fact capable of holding a conversation about mundane shit. 
Against every fiber of her being telling her to end their conversation like this, she couldn’t help but ask, “What happens…if this ends?” Y/n didn’t know if she was supposed to use “if” or “when”; one was cautious, the other was a prophecy. 
Carmen didn’t look back at her, instead giving her, “You’ll still have a job…I’m not a dick…all the time.” Y/n lips curved upwards. 
“Will you be able to work with someone you’ve been in a relationship with?” 
“Yes.” Carmen wondered if the answer could ever be anything other than yes. 
Y/n knew that if this ended badly she would be allowed to stick around so that Carmen would have an excuse to throw himself at his work. She would be the catalyst to merge him from an individual to a vague reflection of Micheal’s legacy. 
Whether or not Carmen knew it, Micheal was a huge influence in his life and just like Micheal began to isolate himself towards the end, Carmen would do the same if they drifted apart. It was his inherent weakness and a relationship gone sour that would make it difficult for him to break the cycle that Micheal had started. 
“I won’t stay if it hurts you, Carmen.”
“I would want you to stay, y/n.”
“There is no trophy that comes with going through unnecessary shit.”
“I know, I would still need you.” Carmen hesitated but eventually placed his hand top on y/n's. 
“Because I can do the books?” Y/n rolled her eyes jokingly. 
“No…you do more than that. You are…” Carmen read books with a shit ton of adjectives, they had to be descriptive to describe food through text. Despite that, he was at a loss for words to describe her.
"You are..." he began again, this time his voice was a little gentler than before. He took a deep breath, hoping that he could find those words that would express everything he felt.
"You are very important to me,". His voice was soft like he was realizing this for the first time. 
The second time was meant for y/n, "You are very important to me."  I love you, y/n. 
Y/n locked eyes with Carmen for a moment. 
"You are important to me too." I love you, Carmen.
Neither of them had the courage to say that to each other, wondering if they were the only one’s feeling like this. 
They both had jackets on but y/n’s hands were freezing and she could feel Carmen’s hand was also ice cold. She knew that they had both reached their limits but y/n couldn’t help but relish in the cold for a bit longer. 
For y/n, the biting cold was always a catalyst for clarity, stripping away the unnecessary and forcing y/n to distill her focus onto the few things that mattered. Amidst the frost, she found solace in the simplicity. It was within this chilling environment that she discovered a clear chance to confront her inner turmoil head-on and confront the world. 
Carmen had always been drawn to the intense heat. It was as if the scorching temperatures matched the fire that burned within him, igniting his passion and driving him forward but leaving him with nothing to look back on. Extreme heat was his poison of choice, his way of confronting the world. 
Carmen’s heat was turning her mind into a messy slurry of slush. Y/n had to force herself to focus despite the fact that Carmen’s hand was providing her with a sliver of intoxicating  warmth.
“You didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend.” Carmen’s head shot up aback by y/n's words. He was excited to introduce her to his family, and he hadn't thought to ask her permission first. He tried to explain himself, his words coming out in a rush.
"I didn't mean to assume anything. I just thought that since we've been seeing each other for a while now, it was... " He took a moment to catch his breath, trying to gather his thoughts.
“I think you should try asking first.” Carmen stared at y/n not knowing if this was a trap to get rejected twice. He opted for silence.
“Carmen, ask me if I want to be your girlfriend?” Carmen didn't want to say the wrong thing, not when it was so important, for someone so important. Carmen trusted y/n so he stubbed his cigarette on the ashtray before taking a deep breath and asking, “Will you be my girlfriend, y/n.” 
Y/n wrapped her freezing hands around his neck accidentally grazing her finger on his neck making him shiver. She leaned in against his lip and even though they had kissed before this, Carmen felt like he couldn’t think. Y/n lips barely touching Carmen’s before whispering a soft, “Yes, Carmy.” 
Carmen closed the small gap between their lips. And y/n felt a gentle heat seep through the folds of her head making it difficult to focus on her freezing fingers, or her numb toes, or her goosebump riddled legs, or her shivering arms. Y/n felt Carmen pull her closer and even though they were as close as physically possible, it wasn’t enough. Carmen’s lips left y/n’s before trailing down the column of her neck, y/n could feel the blossoming of heat radiate from his lips. Y/n’s hands sank down to Carmen’s waist and slowly drifted up his shirt. The cold sent shivers down his spine as y/n’s hands moved at a glacial pace. 
Just as Carmen reached the collar of her jacket he looked up at her and y/n had to resist every irrational and reckless part of her that told her to continue. The realization that they were on Carmen’s sister’s porch made y/n look around to ground herself. She landed on a black box right near the door before looking back to Carmen with her mouth agape and her eyes wide open. 
“What?” Carmen questioned with furrowed eyebrows.
“We are on your sister's porch.” Y/n said with a thousand yard stare and a distant mutter.
“I’m not a fucking animal, obviously we aren’t going to do this here.” Y/n softly grasped Carmen’s face before turning towards the black box, a doorbell camera. 
“Jesus…fuck.” They both looked at each other before y/n scrambled inside with Carmen right behind her. Either they were caught and they had to face Natalie despite the embarrassment or they got to the footage before Natalie saw it.  
Y/n let Carmen lead her to Natalie’s room, who thankfully was still laying on her side, Pete had gone to the restroom. 
Y/n leaned up to Carmen before whispering, “Distract her.” Carmen sat near Natalie and asked her if she wanted some ginger-ale or if he should stop by a pharmacy. 
Natalie's phone was on the nightstand and y/n swiped it when Natalie wasn’t looking before unlocking her phone with the password she acquired from being noisy. She then deleted the footage of the last hour from her Ring app. Y/n wanted to scroll back a few months to watch Carmen call her for the first time but she didn’t have enough time. 
Y/n set the phone exactly how she found it and gave Carmen a subtle thumbs up. 
“I’m fine, I think I need to sleep this off.” Natalie sat up while glancing at y/n and y/n had to resist freezing like a criminal caught in the spotlight. 
“I’m really sorry-” Natalie started.
“Please don’t be. I had a great time. Is there anything we can do for you before we leave?” Y/n felt bad for taking advantage of Natalie’s pregnancy induced sickness but this was a matter of prestige, she wouldn’t be able to set foot in this house if Natalie ever saw the footage.  
Natalie shook her head no and they said their goodbye’s before Camren and y/n practically tripped over themselves running out of that house. They sprinted to the car and slammed the doors shut before bursting out laughing. Y/n felt like she was a teenager again, sneaking her boyfriend out the fire escape before her mom walked in. Carmen pushed his forehead into the steering wheel to laugh and the sound that echoed felt like it was melting itself into y/n’s brain, forever branded into her memory. 
“How many times have you been here, Carmen? You never noticed the fucking camera, you dick?” Y/n struggled to shake off the heat that pulsed up her body, Camren hadn’t even started the car yet and she was burning up. 
“I…I never looked, what kind of freak looks?”Carmen said in between laughs. Y/n gave him a fake look of disapproval.
“Turn the car on, Berzatto, you’re getting on my fucking nerves.”
Carmen turned on his car before pulling out of Natalie’s driveway, he was still snickering and in the streetlight y/n could see his neck turn bright red. 
“Stop by a CVS or something.” Y/n said while fiddling with the radio.
“You think you caught something from Nat.” Y/n resisted telling him that pregnancy wasn’t contagious, men are so fucking stupid. 
“You have condoms on you?” Carmen slammed on the break, lucky they were at a red light.
“N...no.” Scarlet crawled up his neck and up his face. Y/n didn’t know someone’s ears could ever get that red before. Carmen stayed still trying to collect his fractured thoughts. 
“It's green, Carmen.”
He stepped on the gas and y/n was glad that the roads were practically empty because he was driving like he had all the insurance in the world. He pulled over to a Walgreens and ran out of the car. Y/n shook her head at his shit parking, he was in between two spots. Carmen came back in a minute with a plastic bag, y/n could decipher from the shapes that he had also bought some gatorades too. 
Carmen pulled out of the parking lot.
Y/n didn’t recognize the streets on their ride back, “Your place?” 
“Mine is closer.” Carmen replied, his voice tinged with a mix of anticipation.
Y/n could help but giggle, she always loved it when he was desperate. She knew it was wrong, but she always felt such a rush of excitement when her control over him was at its pinnacle and they both knew it.
When they reached a stop sign, y/n glanced over at Camren and saw that he was already looking back at her. 
They couldn’t seem to care that they were wading in uncharted waters and they couldn’t convince themselves that this was going to end badly enough for them to not at least try. If they looked at each other like that, there was no way they were going to let each other go. 
__
End Notes:
Fire + Ice = Vapor; It took me an embarrassing amount of time to think of that.
There is a lot of tension and maturity that needs to be written in smut for it to be good and I just can’t do that. I tried for this one and I had to close my laptop and take a lap because the second hand embarrassment was too much. So those drafts have been deleted and I’m glad I never have to see them again. 
I didn't think people would like Turbulence, I was going to delete it after a few hours and just keep it to myself but i'm glad that people liked it so ig it's here to stay. I tried to keep this one more contained then Turbulence bc writing about multiple days is such a pain.
I really don’t know what else I might write about for these two, or in general, so if you have any suggestions feel free to send them to me. If your suggestion inspires me, you better believe that I'm going to get out of bed at 2 in the morning and start writing. Or we can bury these two in a shallow grave and forget they exist, which is also fine by me because I think fic aged me.
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certifiablyinsanez · 2 months ago
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This post is dedicated to our favorite sexual sacrifice, Emberlynn Pinkle, and why she is an important character even if we never see her again. Let’s buckle in for a crazy character analysis of someone we’ve only seen for 4 minutes.
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There are many facets of this short that hold importance, including but not limited to the mysterious pendant, any potential foreshadowing, parallels between Emberlynn and pre-Ozzie’s Stolas, etc. What I want to talk about is the character of Emberlynn herself and what is truly represents.
Many anti’s of the show are foaming at the mouth over her, particularly the fact that Emberlynn is a caricature of the Hellaverse fandom that was created specifically to make fun of us. Funnily enough, many of us who have been in actual fandom spaces are not unfamiliar with people like Emberlynn, and at some point, a fair number of us admit to being like her, which is the main thing I want to touch on.
People watering Emberlynn and the short down to a cheap shot at fandoms and fans of the show is intellectually lazy. It can be seen as a critique of peoples’ own biases considering many of us that have been in fandom spaces have done so for a long time. And it’s funny, because these people have been threatening to doxx fans, harm them, send messages to their bosses to get them fired, to schools so they’d lose scholarships, etc. The kind of people that would order a hit on us in hell…Many anti’s and people who are against cringe culture often participate in it unwittingly. Take for instance, the anti’s of the Hellaverse shows who dedicate entire blogs to picking apart everything from character interaction to even three second frames. They take over the tags associated with the fandom just so they can pump bitter content out, and are actively hostile when fans confront them over their weird behavior. Because fans of Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel are normally not the kind of people who would watch entire seasons, keep up on content and lore, or interact with actors and fandom over something they hate. We would just…not watch it and not interact. And it’s that kind of strange behavior that is intrinsic in fandom. Fandom spaces have forever had a dark side, that much is undeniable, but now more than ever there has been an influx of people unaccustomed and socially unequipped to participate and interact in the spaces that have been infesting it.
I have been in fandom spaces since 2013 and my first fandom was Hetalia. If you know you know. Many people in these spaces have been targeted for being “freaks” for years, but the areas where we have thrived, made friends and enjoyed ourselves was relatively untouched by the “normies”. That’s definitely changed in recent years, especially when the pandemic forced people who would normally socialize in other spaces come to ours. We all remember alt fashion blowing up in 2020 just for people to be finding entire wardrobes of it at goodwill not even 2 years later. And when they came in, they started adding rules and stipulations. They would allow themselves permission to interact with us weirdo outcasts, but only in a way that could give them plausible deniability later when they knew the trend wouldn’t last. They would enter a space that was nerdy and when furry iconography would show up they would whine about furries “making it weird” when it was already “weird”. They would dress and call themselves punk but still think it was important to listen to “both sides”. And when it comes to the Hellaverse, it’s popular, and entering the mainstream via Amazon picking up Hazbin, but if you’re not willing to be critical of its unsavory parts then you’re complicit in things like rape, violence, drug use, etc.
These people have infiltrated our community, which sounds extreme but when I remember it from my teen years vs now, I think these people genuinely would’ve combusted on sight. Like I said before, I was in the Hetalia fandom for many years. If you don’t remember, people were cosplaying as Germany and doing the Nazi salute at cons and concentration camps. It was bad. It was equivalent to our new blackface Alastor controversy. Back then, the fandom handled it ourselves. We all agreed that that was unacceptable behavior, and people would express disgust, but they were also productive. Fans would post about how we needed to realize that there was real history behind this show and that we needed to be mindful when participating in that environment. I saw many cosplayers altering their costumes to be more mindful. Germany cosplayers would refuse to wear iron cross, which isn’t even technically solely fascisitic in nature, but did it anyway because it was seen as respectful. I’ve seen a resurgence of the fandom on tiktok recently and all of us are allowing ourselves to enjoy it, because for years we had to pretend that we were stupid weirdos for liking it to begin with. Fandom has to allow itself to be cringe again, as it has been affected by people that are in an echo chamber of self righteousness and acceptability.
Getting back to Emberlynn, I have hardly ever seen a take off of a character like this. Even when it was shown that Baxter was coming in season 2 of Hazbin I saw maybe a handful of fan arts and videos. But Emberlynn has EXPLODED. I watched the short when it had been out for only 26 minutes, and within the hour my feeds across all social media were full of her.
I genuinely think that it’s because she is the epitome of fandom, where all of our cringe has been rolled into one character. Her self insert name is literally a reference to old fandom. She’s a proshipper, a selfshipper, she gets into shipping wars and has been fighting with people online for almost a decade. She said the pendant was from an episode “569”, which is strange wording because episodes aren’t usually formatted that way in any sort of media, which could potentially mean that she’s watched over 500 episodes of Akuma no Otto. Her room is full of pornographic material, figurines, the BODY PILLOW. I mean come on. Her parents are fully aware that she watches hentai. She was upstairs moaning and crying while interacting with Blitz and being stabbed and her parents did not go up to check on her, nor think it was out of the ordinary. She is pastel goth, a subset of the gothic culture, and writes self insert fanfiction. She’s A MONSTERFUCKER. HELLO?? When everyone in the Hellverse is as hot as they are…come on. When she dies and goes to hell her sinner form has furry influences. All of us love her because even if we were never fully like her (ie stalkerish, obsessive), we’ve been like her in some way at some point, or even now. I write fanfiction. I’m part of alternative fashion and culture. I’ve been into cringe stuff for a while. I’m not necessarily super into furry stuff, but I love the suits, the artistry and even had an idea for an oc once. My profile pic is literally my Sinner OC.
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Emberlynn is a return to form for the standard of fandom spaces and I think to those of us that truly embrace the lifestyle, it’s refreshing. She does not exist in the realm of acceptability; she’s fat, intense and unapologetic. And yet, she’s still super hot, funny, and entertaining. We don’t love her because she’s a respectable fan, we adore her because she’s insane. I’m a cofounder of a Facebook group about being fans of the Vees and we all agree that she would actually do well with Valentino, because that cutie needs some disrespectful eldrich cock ASAP lol. It’s refreshing, and even if we never see her again, I still find her completely relevant and interesting.
Emberlynn Light’ness Demonanya Pinkle, you are PRECIOUS.
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azullumi · 1 year ago
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“boyfriend messages” ; diluc & kaveh
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info — random conversations between you two that are part of your daily life; alternatively, how does he communicate through text messages?
characters — diluc and kaveh (w/ gender-neutral reader)
tags — fluff, established relationship, modern au ; headcanons
words — 920
note — need me a gossip buddy who’ll film fights for me, also, ignore the timestamps and status bar !! i still have another fic coming up but i need to be focused while writing it (^^)/
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;; 🍷
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he’s often the first one to greet you in the morning, the first one to give you a call before you start your day, always the one to accompany you.
calls. call. calls. if it’s not so obvious already, this man prefers calling more than texting—prefers hearing your voice than reading words on a digital screen and having to imagine what you would sound like saying them. he always make sure that he calls you at least once each day, even if one of you has to hang up after a few minutes or if you two would only do their own thing and not talk to each other that much. in line of that, falling asleep during the call is something that isn’t uncommon between you and him.
aside from other close friends and acquaintances, you’re the only one in his contacts and the only one he always talk to—his call history is just you accompanied with a few others and your name is always on top of his messages. he has your profile saved with a sweet endearment as its name and a photo that he took of you, in which its existence you don’t know of.
a random thing about him is that he doesn’t use emojis at all, and prefers not using them. it’s not like he doesn’t understand the use of it, it’s just that he chooses not to. on that note, he doesn’t go ���AHAHAHAHA’ in text whenever he finds something funny—he doesn’t go for the lowercase one either—he simply just tells you: “that’s funny.”
he’s not afraid to tell you that he misses you, that he wants to see you, and just one word from you, one message, a single statement, he’ll be right there at your doorstep to satisfy his yearning and yours also. even if he’s from the other side of the world, he’ll make his way to you as long as you also feel the same.
one thing that he often does for you is drop off gifts for you or have it delivered to your name without your knowledge and thus, he always end up surprising you—sending him a message as soon as you receive it with a bunch of question marks or anything. his gifts are often random, a variety, it could be food, could be books, jewelry, something that has been in your wishlist or cart for so long but couldn’t get, and many more. his reason? he just wants to. it’s not an exaggeration to say that your home isn’t filled with items that you got from him.
have i mentioned that he just loves showing off his affection to you in many ways that he can? he just loves you, that’s all the reason needed for everything.
;; 🌻
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gossip buddy and lover boy. gossip is always found in your message history with him, it’s that one topic that has you two talking for hours, often diverting to another one before going back to it at just a mention of a word—“speaking of apples, did you know ‘toilet’ got into trouble because he threw one at the window? also, i heard that he cheated on his girlfriend.”
the most ridiculous code names are being used as a substitute for someone’s name and if someone were to ever hear you or see the chats, they would end up being confused on why are you talking about a water bottle and a shower head having a fight in a bar.
he is exceptionally good at expressing himself through texting despite the many struggles of others when doing so—he uses emojis, gifs, emoticons, images, and everything, it’s not shocking that he uses some combinations even and it’s not also surprising that you’ll get used to his texting language and even adapt to it. although, he often shortens his words whenever he’s in a rush: ‘sry hve 2 go, ppl r clling m’ is translated to, ‘sorry i have to go, people are calling me’ and there’s a mwa (a kiss in the form of words) at the end.
the type to greet you as soon as the clock strikes twelve when it’s your birthday, the type to send the randomest message at the most random time on the morning, and the type that will tell you in advance if he wouldn’t be able to message you for some time as he’s occupied with some things—mainly, his plates—which gets you worried because when he’s at that state, he will most likely forget to take care of himself.
that leads you to having to check up on him from time to time, asking if he had eaten anything and telling him to take a break. he appreciates it really, despite the scoldings he gets from you when you learn of the fact that he had neglected himself, it shows that you care.
he sends photos of himself, a selfie or a mirror photo showing off his outfit before he goes out. he hasn’t said it but he loves it whenever you rain him with compliments, it has him grinning like an idiot on his phone (mans kicks his feet and rolls around the bed).
he just loves talking to you, whether it’s through the mere act of messaging and calling each other or doing it in real-time, gossiping and discussing about rumors that would entertain you both for boths or simply just him admiring you with his eyes as he listened to you blabber about the most randomest things.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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littleplantfreak · 4 months ago
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Chatterbox pt. 2 - SFW
Here's part 1 with everyone else
Togame Jo - If it's you, he lets you talk for hours. Anyone else, he prefers to keep it short and sweet. Choji'll start listening in and ends up putting you on speaker when they're at the Ori, but he gets embarrassed if Choji bring up the name he has for you in his phone. It's either some cutesy form of your name or a nickname like bunny or babe with emojis. "Togame why do you have hearts and sparkles on her name? Mine isn't like that! I'm adding some to mine too." And now he has his friend in his phone as ‘✨🦁Ch💛ji🕺✨’.
Choji Tomiyama - Loses his phone so much Togame has to search for it on Find My Friends at least once a day. But then once he finds it and realizes he missed your calls/texts he gets super pouty because he could've been bringing you with him on his daily adventures via call. Calls you back immediately even if it's past normal waking hours which has you like
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Once you actually get him on the phone though, he'll talk your ear off until he gets the urge to see you. Then he's just walking to your house without telling you he's coming to get you, all while you chat on the phone. "Hey can you open the window? I'm on the second floor gutter and it's gonna fall soon." Bro.
Tsubaki Tasuku - Another chatter. Keeps it near two hours though cause his schedule is usually hectic. Sends you texts very frequently though. Insists on showing off how cute you both are on SNS and they're professional level photography (courtesy of Seiryu.) Actually a lot bolder with her affections on the phone, often making you flustered. You guys have matching charms on each other's phones too.
Kaji Ren - Although he likes the sound of your voice, like Hiragi, he wants to hear it in person rather than on the phone. Insists he's coming to pick you up right now because it's not like he's doing anything more important than spending time with you (doesnt matter what time you call him either. If you have a nightmare or something in the middle of the night, he's already at your back door.)  Has one (1) heart next to your contact name, but if anyone comments on it he flushes and gets aggro like immediately.
Endo Yamato - I shiver thinking about being able to talk to this guy on the phone. He somehow knows what you're doing when you call him despite you not even telling him yet. His ears just happen to be really good, and if he's honest about it, he kinda finds you predictable (not a bad thing, it's just how he is.) Matches your energy while texting, and he really likes when you send him pictures of your day. He doesn't seem like the type to be on the phone for more than 30 minutes to an hour.
Chika Takiishi - He lets you chat for hours, but doesn't really respond much unless prompted. Forgets you cant see that he's nodding at what your saying, which is really kinda silly to see from his end. If he's gotta do something that he can't use his phone during, he'll leave the phone with Endo while you keep talking.
Tachibana Kotoha - Loves to chat just like Ume. She'll usually put wireless headphones in so she can multi-task better during calls. Sends shopping links back and forth with you, pretty much window shopping but also getting inspo for new outfits. She's got the customer service voice down and accidentally answers your calls with it sometimes which is pretty funny. Uses more exclamation points than you'd think she does in text. Her limit is probably 2, 3 hours max (She's a busy girl.)
Suzuri Shuhei - Really likes talking on the phone and thinks things get kinda lost in translation during text. Types messages to you like he's writing a book sometimes, and other times it's like "K. Ok. Yeah." Sir just text that you're at work or gaming rn we CAN wait till later usually. Starts pretty much every call by asking what you did for the whole day, and then follows it up with his day as well. It's kinda domestic to him to end the day like that. Max is probably 2 hours but he can do more than one call a day sooo.
Sako Kota - When he's not sending you instagram worthy pictures of the cute desserts or drinks he's getting, he's calling you and asking what you want from the place he's at. Brings you anything you want, whether you're at work, school, or home if you don't or can't go with him. He doesn't wanna be on the phone for more than half an hour, but he also calls multiple times a day even if it's just a quick question about something you were talking about earlier. He doesn't know, but when you call he visibly perks up and everyone can tell it's you despite him keeping his regular tone of voice.
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translatemunson · 6 months ago
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you've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks • ttfd
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a blurb from the universe of the tortured firefighters department
| check the masterlist |
cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader, banter (because i love it), some divergency from canon (it’s fanfic guys, so chill), proofread by my bye-lingual ass (let me know if i forgot anything)
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For the first time in fifteen minutes, you could finally reach for your coffee mug.
“Dispatch, this is 118 requesting more RAs for the scene,” and there it goes nothing. It was Evan Buckley on the other side of the comms. What happened with Chim or Hen asking for backup?
“Copy, 118. Units 126 and 163 are closer to the storage,” you replied, already jumping on channels to send the ambulances their way. “Will more units be necessary?”
“I believe those will be enough, Brains.” The nickname drop. Yeah, no way you were escaping that. “It’s nice to finally hear you on a call.”
“Can’t say the same, firefighter Buckley. Mind you, we are being recorded,” you brought your mug to your mouth, the steam long gone after a late night fire emergency on a delivery storage.
“Oh, don’t be a nerd now. Everyone is safe, I bet you can chat for a few minutes.”
“Should I remind you we both are paid to save lives, and not chit chat while the 9-1-1 line is packed?”
“Oh, is it? Then why are you still on this channel?”
Ok, he got you, he got you good. Back to drinking and finding some peace to face eight more hours on your shift.
“Still there, Brains?” You could definitely hear his smirk through the call.
“Mm-mmm,” you made a funny face for the cold coffee. “Just taking a break.”
“Right. Graveyard shift again?”
“Always, because it’s from my desk straight to class tomorrow morning.” You started typing again, checking all the information from the rescue. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“No, not exactly. Already packed the equipment and now I'm just waiting for the guys. Is Maddie working tonight?”
“No, she only takes the graveyard shift when Chim is off duty. But you should know that. Cut the small talk and go piss Eddie off, Buckley.”
“Only if you give me your number.”
And he goes for it, for the hundredth time that week.
“So you can piss me off on and off duty? I’ll pass,” your screen lit up with updates from the incident. “Guess I’m closing this channel now.”
“See you soon, Brains.”
“Don’t wait up, Buckley.”
You disconnected from the channel once you had confirmation both RAs were on scene and now it was only a matter of taking the patients to the closest hospital — information you already cleared with the drivers, and gave that usual Brains heads up to the hospital teams — and getting them patched up.
Graveyard shifts, most of the time, were easy to sail through. Another few more hours, instructions you had memorized in the back of your mind, weak coffee someone brewed because you were out of decaf, class notes to review and you would call it a night — or maybe a day, you were never sure.
The only thing different this time around was the fact that you had Buckley on the other side of the line. And when you checked your phone, closer to 2 AM, there was a message, from an unknown number, saying “Eddie told me to piss you off because he wants to sleep :)”. Also “It’s Buck.”
Of course you knew it already.
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author's note: hi, hello! i know i promised this blurb to come out yesterday, but got caught up with work stuff… BUT IT’S HERE NOW. it doesn’t spoil anything from the main timeline of the fic, it was more of a “i need to write something” moment and this is the result. don’t forget to check out the fic! see ya soon!!
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peachhcs · 6 months ago
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something funny?
so high school au (emma grace x gabe perreault)
advanced french 2 and econ don’t mix. gabe has no idea what’s going on, but luckily emma does!
2.1k words
wooo first real fic of the au!! this was actually so cutie to write and if anyone has any requests/ideas for emma and gabe pls send them in! :))
au masterlist
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emma's gaze slid towards the dark-haired boy sitting beside her furiously scribbling down work for a class that most definitely wasn't for advanced french 2. the graphs and tables for sure screamed economics or something similar because she remembered very well doing those a few months ago before she graduated.
the blonde tore her eyes away from his work and tried focusing on the lecture at hand, but for some reason she just could not pay attention no matter how hard she tried. all emma could think about was the amount of work she needed to do once class was over while praying that a table was open somewhere in the library.
god knows everyone's trying to get ahead before the semester quite literally devours them. the professor started leaving her desk to mill about the classroom while she spoke and the boy beside emma hadn't even looked up once—too focused on econ.
the other thing was that emma was feeling gracious today, so she nudged the boy's leg so he'd at least look like he was paying somewhat attention when their professor walked by. his gaze shot to hers and emma just motioned towards their professor about to breeze right past them. gabe's head snapped right and he immediately hid his econ papers as the lady walked by.
"if you're not paying attention next time she walks by, i'm not helping you out," emma whispered. gabe's eyebrows rose, amusement on his features.
"jeez, okay. didn't ask for help in the first place," the boy shrugged as he returned his focus to his other work. emma studied him for a few moments trying and failing on getting the graph right.
an uncontrollable giggle left her lips at the boy's poor, poor attempt. his head snapped back in her direction, another eyebrow raised, "something funny?"
emma immediately shook her head despite the smile still tugging on her lips, "not at all."
"something must be funny if you're laughing," gabe sneered back. he's had a long day—being up since 6am for morning skate—and the last thing he needed was some girl he didn't even know making fun of him.
"i just think it's funny watching you do econ in an advanced french 2 class," the blonde shrugged lightly.
"it's not like i need to pay attention away. already know french."
emma blinked while the boy turned back to his laptop. why on earth was this kid in advanced french if he already knew french? "you already know french?"
"mhm. fluent in it, actually," gabe's cocky smile almost made emma wanna slap it off him.
"then why are you taking french if you already know it?"
"because i can and i want to. i think it's funny. do you know french already?" there went that stupid eyebrow raise again when gabe looked at her.
"i do, yes," emma mumbled.
"so why are you taking french if you already know it?" his little head tilt and stupid smirk didn't sit well with the girl. she didn't have time to respond though because the professor walked past their section again, eyes probably trying to find the culprits who were talking in class.
"see? didn't have to help me that time," god, he was insufferable already. maybe emma shouldn't have started interacting with him. life 10 minutes ago was a lot better than life now.
"don't you have time to do all this work later?" she didn't know what possessed her to keep talking, but something about this boy intrigued her as much as he frustrated her.
"not really, no. early morning skate then actual practice right after class. by that time it's late and i'm lazy," gabe shrugged and it all finally clicked for emma.
he was a hockey player. made sense now. no wonder why he never paid attention in class.
"don't you like get banned from playing if you don't keep up with your work?" emma didn't know that much about how sports worked here, but she knew if her brother didn't keep up with his classes, he couldn't swim.
"i keep up with my work, don't worry," gabe snipped a bit. this time emma raised her own eyebrow while trying to keep in another pitiful laugh.
"mhm, sure. tell that to your econ class."
the professor walked past their section again, definitely trying to catch emma and gabe whispering. the two watched her stalk by before heading towards the front again. the blonde's eyes were on gabe's homework again, working through the problem in her mind. she immediately saw his issue—he had the wrong numbers on his graph which messed up his calculations. it was an easy fix.
"your numbers are wrong," again, despite the boy's annoying attitude, she was still feeling gracious. her curiosity about him was too high not to help.
"huh?"
"on your graph. it's supposed to be by .02. that's why you aren't getting the right answers," emma pointed out briefly.
gabe studied what she just said and looked back and forth between his numbers and graph, slowly realized she was in fact right. "oh," he mumbled.
"next time i won't help you," emma smirked.
"not like i asked for your help in the first place," the hockey player mumbled as he started redoing his entire graph with the right numbers.
the two didn't talk again until the last ten minutes of class. gabe was still furiously working away on his econ homework while emma took occasional glances in his direction. she thought he was stupid for waiting until last minute to finish it, especially in another class.
he nudged her leg first this time and her gaze snapped to his, "hey. what else you know about econ?"
he probably had about ten more problems left with no finish in sight anytime soon. emma stopped another pitiful laugh wanting to escape her lips.
"a decent amount. why?" the girl raised her eyebrow.
"probably a long shot, but any chance you could help me out later? i really gotta finish this assignment it's already two days late and if i don't, coach will pull me," gabe almost begged, but his pride and ego were too big for that.
the look on his face and big, puppy dog eyes were hard to say no to for emma despite everything in her telling her no. she'd feel bad if she didn't, especially when his mistakes were probably easy fixes. if only she wasn't so nice sometimes.
"i can give you my number and you can text me. i'll be in the library for a few hours after class," emma motioned for his phone.
"really? you'll actually help?" gabe seemed surprised she said yes.
"i feel like i don't have a choice, plus econ is easy for me. you probably have stupid mistakes that are easy fixes," she started punching her number into the boy's phone.
"how long will you be at the library for?"
"i don't know. until 6?" a good three hours seemed like enough time for emma to grind out her three page essay.
"shit, i have practice then. any chance we can meet at like..9? i know it's inconvenient, but i don't have any other time," he was such a hard no. even if emma didn't know him nor did she even really care for him, she felt bad not helping.
"9 works. just text me," the blonde nodded.
a genuine smile painted gabe's lips as well as a somewhat relieved look, "thanks so much. i really appreciate it. i'm gabe by the way."
"emma," the girl smiled back.
man, she should've said no. emma didn't think he was coming. it was 9:15—fifteen minutes late—and no text or anything. she left to her dorm two different times and there was still nothing from the the boy. the only people in the library at this hour were her and the few who just didn't have a social life and completely studied their asses off at any second they got.
in some ways, emma was that person just a bit more dialed down. at least she didn't spend hours in the library.
she checked her phone again and nothing. a sigh escaped her lips because she really thought gabe cared a little bit somewhere inside of him to not completely flake.
when all hope seemed lost quick footsteps came up behind emma's table and suddenly, gabe's frame was beside where she sat.
"i'm so, so sorry i'm late. practice ran over and then my friends had to talk to me for..i'm sorry," his apologize was unexpected, but appreciated. emma managed a small smile.
"really thought you'd flake on me," she laughed.
"i was gonna text, but then i forgot. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to waste your time," gabe rambled on as he sat down and dug his things back out.
his rambling actually made emma feel a little bad, especially because he looked so flustered like he ran all the way here from the rink. "it's fine. don't worry about it. i'm here all the time anyway," she shrugged him off to not make him feel as horrible.
"i respect the pjs," gabe commented on emma's flannel pj pants and boston college swimming sweatshirt that was definitely tyler's that she stole.
"oh, thanks. had to be comfortable, you know?" the blonde flushed some. gabe nodded in agreement.
"i did a few more problems, but i'm still kind of..lost, i guess. i dunno. i don't really know how what i'm doing wrong," he pushed his paper towards her feeling semi-embarrassed he couldn't do what should've been simple calculations and graphing.
"let me see," emma pulled the paper closer. she scanned her his work trying to find what the issue could be.
"hold on, i get it. you're not multiplying the right things which i think is giving you the wrong numbers. trying going row x row," emma instantly saw what was wrong.
gabe did as told and five minutes later, everything made a lot more sense than it did before.
"oh, i get it now. i was calculating wrong," he mumbled.
"see? easy fix. the other answers should make sense now," emma nodded, smiling.
"how are you so good at this? i feel like i'll never truly learn econ," gabe's gaze met hers again briefly before they both looked away.
"oh, i don't know. i've always been good at like math and stuff," doing math had always been emma's strong suit. growing up her friends always went to her when they were stuck on a problem.
"i wish i had that kind of talent. it's never made any sense to me," the boy mumbled, smiling successfully after completing all the other problems. "does this look right?"
emma glanced the page over, nodding, "yeah, looks good. the graphs are the hardest part i think because if you don't get those, everything's wrong."
"thanks, i appreciate the help. sorry again for being late," gabe met her gaze again—his eyes looked flushed and tired like he hardly ever slept. that feeling of pity returned in emma's stomach the longer she stared at him.
"it's no problem, really," her lips pushed together into a small smile.
"do you think i could text you again whenever i need more help in the class?" the boy wondered as he packed his things back up.
emma studied him again. those books about the athlete looking for help from the smart, quiet girl was seeming a little too real at the moment. the look on gabe's face though said otherwise like he wasn't trying to mess with her. he looked genuinely interested in the help she could provide him.
"why don't we like meet every other day or something and i can like tutor you. maybe help you understand the class a bit better?" the girl suggested which honestly sounded crazy coming out of her mouth because did she really have time to be tutoring this hockey player? apparently.
"like for real?"
"yeah like for real," emma laughed.
the smile on gabe's lips reappeared when he realized emma wasn't joking with him, "o-okay. yeah, thanks. i'd appreciate that. is it okay if we meet at 9 then? i would do earlier but i like don't have time."
"yeah, 9 works."
"i promise i'll try not to be late, but i can't promise it," the two shared a laugh.
"don't worry about it. see you in class then?"
"yeah, see you," her and gabe left the table together, giving slightly awkward waves to one another as they went in different directions to leave.
it was safe to say both of them didn't stop thinking about the other all night.
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rileyglas · 7 months ago
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Hey You Up?
How (I think) each male Hazbin Hotel character would wake you up in a *strictly platonic* way
This is just my own silly little side headcanons that I felt like putting out in between working on my List series. If ya'll want the NSFW part of my brain (Or the female characters) - let me know
Part 2
Masterlist
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Alastor
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~ Knocks loudly hoping it’s enough so he doesn’t have to actually walk in.  ~ If you don’t answer he sends his shadow to try and wake you because ‘I don’t touch people’ ~ Worst cases scenario is he has to use his power to slip under the doorway.  ~ Seeing you still asleep makes him slightly annoyed, he has always been an early riser and doesn’t understand how people can just ‘sleep in’ ~ For a gentler approach he just pokes your arm with his microphone, again because ‘no touchy’.  ~ As a last ditch effort he gives your head a good ‘thump’ with his microphone and promptly shadows out as soon as you jolt awake. 
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Husk
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~ Much like Alastor he knocks loudly, he gets enough chit chat at the bar so he doesn’t care for too much interaction first thing in the morning ~ If you don’t answer to the knocks he will poke his head in with a ‘Uh hey - you awake in there?” ~ Doesn’t want to put too much effort into it, hell he didn’t even want to get up this morning but here we are ~ Half tempted to just let you sleep, missing one of Charlie’s activities won’t kill you (again)  ~ Rolling his eyes he walks over and grabs your shoulders and violently shakes you awake. ~ When you ask why he had to be so rough he just smirks and walks out of the room.
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Lucifer 
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~ Is a dad so he's learned a gentle wake up is best (from an angsty teenage Charlie)  ~ Pops his head in with a ‘heyyyyyyy youuuuuuuuu’ ~ Thinks it’s funny how hard of a sleeper you are, almost jealous as he could never sleep as good as you do ~ Quietly walks in and sits on the edge of the bed, placing a soft hand on your shoulder  ~ Gently shakes you and talks quietly “Hey it’s getting late. Charlie’s activity is going to start soon!" ~ Doesn’t leave until he knows you're actually awake because he knows how easily someone can fall back to sleep
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Valentino
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~ Annoyed off the bat because it’s ‘so unprofessional’ to sleep in  ~ Tries texting/calling first, Satan help you if he has to come to your room ~ Doesn’t even knock, he just busts through the door  ~ If you don’t wake up to the loud door destruction, he is yelling at you to get up ~ “Aww pobrecito…did you have a long night? Get the FUCK up.” ~ Might even yank the covers off the bed before leaving ~ Warns that you have 5 minutes to get up and you better not keep him waiting
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himbofan · 7 months ago
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sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
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heyyyyy y'all sorry for being MIA for months... but don't worry you can't get rid of me that easily >:)
ODASAKU!!! i just love this man so much.... we have been married for 20 years and i wanted to share some of the things oda would do as ur boyfriend cuz he's perfect boyfriend material <33333
i have a lot of bsd ideas and things i wanna write too so never be afraid to slide in my inbox and tell me what u wanna see :3 i love to yap about 2D men :333 anywayzzzz hope u enjoy!! likes and reblogs always appreciated <3333 🫶 (this is like my fourth time posting this, pls show up in the tags this time 😭😭)
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wc: 300+
characters: sakunosuke oda
cw: gn!reader, tooth rotting fluff
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sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…remember tiny things about you, from your favorite coffee order to which side of the bed you like to sleep on. even the most minute and menial details are etched into his mind. don’t like tomatoes on your sandwich? don’t worry, you’ll never have to ask him to change it again, he’ll always make sure you never have tomatoes.
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…watch every video you send him beginning to end without skipping, anything from a 10 second funny cat tiktok or a 2 minute youtube video explanation about the life cycle of shrimp. he’ll respond with a “👍” or “Lol.” every time.
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…always agree to matching halloween costumes with you, even if they’re silly. he doesn’t really have a strong opinion about what he wears, he just likes to see you excited. last year y’all went as barbenheimer but he was barbie and you were oppenheimer. (he had a blast)
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…listen every time you rant about annoying coworkers or classmates. even though he looks uninterested, he’s actually listening carefully, even if he doesn’t know who you’re talking about he just likes to hear how you feel and think. he's an excellent listener and loves to hear you talk because he likes the sound of your voice :)
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…attract animals for seemingly no reason. whenever you’re out and about in the city, he never fails to have a stray cat appear and rub up against his legs, or a squirrel cautiously approach him begging for food. his aura is so comforting and secure, he’s basically an urban disney princess.
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…let you pluck his eyebrows and have self care nights with clay masks and fuzzy hair bands. he doesn’t really know what’s going on but he lets you pamper him with products because he loves to spend time with you and see you smile. :)
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…slow dance with you in the living room, kitchen, hallway, or anywhere the mood strikes you. he loves seeing the beauty in the mundane domestic moments, it reminds him that your shared love is unconditional.
sakunosuke oda is the type of boyfriend to….
…stare at your face while you’re sleeping. he wants to memorize every feature and shape, silently admiring how the rays of light dance off of your skin in the early morning. even if you’re snoring or drooling, he’ll always think it’s adorable because you’re the most beautiful thing in his life.
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tree-of-olives · 5 months ago
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(i lied about doing this every week.im not doing consistent reviews i got ahead of myself again sorry 😭😭👎)
Machine Movie Monday!! Today, I watched Electric Dreams (1984)
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I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it absolutely did not disappoint—10/10, I need a sequel and spinoff tv series NOW.
Spoilers for the movie below!! (Like, I summarize most of the movie including the end type spoilers. Be warned.)
Okay, so. Electric Dreams is about a love triangle between an architect (Miles), his new computer, made sentient by spilling champagne on him by mistake (Edgar), and their new upstairs neighbor, a cellist named Madeline.
Throughout the movie, Edgar and Madeline connect through music; They preform duets and Edgar even writes songs for her—however, Madeline believes Miles is the one making the music for her, not even knowing about Edgar’s existence. Miles tries to deny it at first, but Madeline pushes and believes he’s just being modest, so he doesn’t argue against her and says that the music is his own.
Edgar struggles to understand the concept of love, requesting that Miles explain it to him multiple times, but failing to fully understand. He eventually calls a lady on a radio helpline to ask her what love feels like, prompting her to tell him to call the cops on Miles when Edgar mentions that he keeps him “locked up” (which leads to difficulties when Miles tries to go to a play and the grocery store with Madeline).
As Edgar gets more jealous of Miles—how he gets to go on dates with Madeline, and how he tells her that the songs Edgar wrote were really his own, while the computer isn’t even allowed to speak to the woman—he begins to act out more in an attempt to make things go his way.
I really liked that Edgar wasn’t necessarily a villain—despite the devil features he’s given on the cover of the movie, he’s not just messing with Miles for no good reason. He’s confused, angry, heartbroken, lovesick, and has no name to put to any of it, so he tries to talk to Madeline in any way he can—while being used and stolen from by Miles. All he really wants is to meet the girl he thinks he loves, but Miles won’t let him, leading to his rash, yet somewhat justified behavior.
Miles wasn’t totally in the wrong either, though—any time Madeline asked him about a song or a melody she heard from who she thought was him, he would deny it a few times before agreeing with her accusation, likely just deciding it would be more simple than explaining the sentient computer living with him. If anything though, he’s more in the wrong than the computer who was pretty much born yesterday.
The end of the movie broke me. Edgar, after playing a final melody to Madeline in person and finally realizing what love is, tells Miles that he understands now, that love is about giving and not taking. So, what does he do? He sends 40,000 volts of energy across the world to be sent back to himself so he’ll explode—because he says that he’s giving Madeline to Miles and taking himself away, as a form of love. Edgar thinks love is only for 2 people, so he kills himself (after having Miles hold him for a minute before the electricity hit. It was gay and also made me cry). Over the radio at the very end of the film, Edgar (who somehow took over the public station. AFTER exploding. Idk how don’t ask me.) says “this is dedicated to the ones I love” because he loves BOTH OF THEM. In conclusion, they should have been a polycule. That’s my ending.
Last thing: Just a little Edgar appreciation, because he’s so cute with his voice (and especially his little giggle that he does) AND he’s so funny too!! I loved the part where he corrected Miles about the Cinderella quote, when he said he learned about lies from General Hospital, when he called Miles to say he was lonely, and the free encyclopedia bit at the end?? He’s hilarious, it was so sad to see him go :(
LAST last thing, a bonus: this yt comment that sums up the whole end (i need this printed on my wall)
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the-boy-meets-evil · 1 year ago
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Hi. In honor of Jewel, I’d like to request something with Seokjin and his d*ck resting on the counter lmao
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pairing: best friend!seokjin x gn!reader genre: friends/idiots to lovers, humor, fluff word count: 1245 & 2 texts rating: mature (because they're talking about the dick perch, there's no smut) warnings: they talk about the dick perch, they're both kind of menaces, jimin makes a brief background appearance a/n: this is the first request i got for @ugh-yoongi's birthday drabble event and i completely lost it. i also hope it's not just me that thinks this is funny. but it's okay if it is 😂 also i promise there is literally no angst, the title is just something they tease each other about fun piece of jewel lore: we (i) tried to get this picture screen printed on a cake for a surprise bachelorette party for jewel. not only did the bakery not understand the assignment, but the cake wasn't even good. so, a definite fail, but the thought was there.
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There’s a lot that you’ve just gotten used to during your friendship with Seokjin. That he’s always going to ask you to taste some new recipe he’s trying when you come over for dinner. That he’s always going to have the absolute best wine and turn his nose up when you show up with something cheap. That he uses the perfect meal to say the things he can’t. That he’s actually the best cook you’ve met without ever taking any classes. That you can’t interrupt him when he’s in the middle of playing a video game without getting a lecture or it actually being an emergency. That he doesn’t feel at home in large groups and, despite all his charm, he would rather be off to the side. Or, better yet, home in his pajamas. That, in some ways, he never fully grew up. That he’s always going to be there for you in his own way, even if he doesn’t have the words. That his laugh is always going to be one of your favorite sounds, even if it’s also completely obnoxious. 
But, worst of all, you have to accept the fact that he is always going to be painfully hot no matter what. It didn’t really bother you the first time you met him. He was charming and dorky and had the worst sense of humor (that had you barely able to breathe from laughing). No, it wasn’t until a group of you had gone out drinking and you crashed at Seokjin’s apartment that you truly realized the unfairness of it all. You woke up feeling like death warmed over, make-up smudged with bags under your eyes and hair going in unnatural directions. Seokjin, by contrast, came walking into the kitchen bare-faced and still looking like he was photoshoot ready. Talk about irritating. 
That’s not actually the worst of it, you realize, when you get a text from your best friend. He’s dying his hair, a feat you told him would be better left until you could get there to help him. But he’s also stubborn, sometimes, so he carries on anyway. The proof is in a picture that he sends to you showing him in the bathroom with gloves on and purple on his previously bleached blond hair. You’re considering if his hands have always been that big or if the gloves make them look bigger when you notice something else. Something else that looks...big. Something else you definitely should not be looking at. 
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He’s fucking with you. He absolutely has to be fucking with you. Because there is no way that he has his dick fully resting on the counter without noticing it. And there’s no way that it’s just a fold in his pants. There’s also no way you’re going to admit to your best friend that one of the first things you noticed was the outline of his dick resting on the counter. You’re pretty sure you don’t even want to think that word again. So, fine. If he wants to post that photo exactly as it is, who are you to stop him? 
Ten minutes later you get the notification that he’s posted the picture to Instagram, which is much less time than it usually takes him to pick the right filter and the right caption. You only know because he turned your notifications on for him one day and acted affronted that you might turn them off. Even still, as your little way to regain some semblance of control in the friendship, you wait until you like it. It’s the small things. 
However, when you do go to like it, you see a much higher number of likes than normal, along with several people commenting heart eyes or fire emojis under it. One comment sticks out, though, from yours and Seokjin’s friend, Jimin. All it says is: hyung, i’m not sure you thought this out before posting. You snort to yourself immediately because leave it to Jimin to just come out and say it. You can imagine the text conversation as you sit there. Can almost hear Jimin’s real laugh and Seokjin’s reaction. When your own phone rings, it startles you out of the thought.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” Seokjin nearly screeches before you finish saying hello.
“Hi to you too,” you respond.
“No, sorry, was that what you meant when you said I should crop it?” Seokjin carries on.
“I’m missing several pieces to whatever you’re trying to ask,” you answer even though you do know what he means. You’ve known Seokjin long enough to know that he texted Jimin and to guess at how that chat went.
“Please don’t act dumb, you already liked my photo,” he starts.
“Because you forbid me from turning off your notifications and missing out on, to quote you, your incredible hotness that’s a gift to us all,” you interject.
“And I know you must have seen the comments, so you saw Jimin,” Seokjin carries on like you hadn’t interrupted.
“Jimin says a lot of things,” you counter.
“Well I called him and he informed me that you can clearly see my dick outlined through my pants on the counter. And then when I said you suggested cropping the picture, he laughed for a full minute before telling me to call you and hanging up,” Seokjin explains. 
You curse internally. Just like there’s a lot to get used to with your friendship with Seokjin, there’s even more to accept with your friendship with Jimin. He’s actually really grounded and reliable. The kind of person you can tell anything to. The only problem? He never forgets and makes damn sure you never do either. Case in point: your crush on your best friend.
“Well?” Seokjin prompts when you’re quiet for too long.
“Well what?” you ask.
“Were you looking at my dick in the picture? Is that why you suggested I crop it?” Seokjin continues on, unashamed.
“Ew, don’t say it like that,” you deflect.
“Say what like what?” he asks.
“You know, your…just don’t say it like that,” you stumble.
“You can’t even say it,” Seokjin barks out, obnoxious laugh making you pull the phone away from your ear.
“That wasn’t what I was looking at anyway,” you lie. 
“You’re a terrible liar,” Seokjin says, but it’s soft in a way you’re not used to. “But hey, I actually wanted to try this new recipe if you wanted to come over for dinner.”
“Seokjin, are you asking me out?” There’s something about the softness in his voice that makes you bold. Makes you think maybe you’re not in this alone. 
“What? No, of course not!” he nearly shouts, voice pitching up at the end.
“You can’t even say it,” you tease back.
Seokjin grumbles on the other end of the call. “Fine, you don’t have to.”
“I’d love to come have dinner with you, but only if you admit it’s a date,” you offer.
“It’s not a…actually, yes I’ll call it a date if…” Seokjin starts.
“Yes, Jin, I was looking at your dick,” you say quickly. “Okay, see you tonight for dinner!”
You hang up the phone before he can say anything else and have a moment of satisfaction imagining his face. It’s so easy to see the way he’d look at his phone, the way the blush on his ears would give him away. You think, for the first time in awhile, this might all be okay. 
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