#because i have weird mental issues

[thenocarts]

Should I start being weird on main? Mayhaps I will, mayhaps I won't, maybe you'll never see another re-animator drawing again, just me doing my weird art that never show to anyone, WHO KNOWS!1!1!1!1!1!1!1

[snootlestheangel]

*giggling*

The 141, with help of Nik and a couple friends, are tracking an Anarchist group in the UK. There's been some evidence that they plan on doing something big (and possibly dumb) and that they've gotten their hands on some big weapons.

Theyre just scouting out the base of operations of these guys, just gathering intel.

Price points out one particular guy: big, beefy blonde guy with a thick Scottish accent and very punk grunge aesthetic.

"Must be the ringleader" the captain says and it seems to be true. Everyone watches this guy with curiosity when Soap gasps lightly

"No fucking way" Soap says

"What?"

"He's my fucking ex" Soap replies, shocked and a bit embarrassed in all honesty.

Now I'm just picturing all of them turning to give Soap A Look

Gaz just shakes his head and goes "you have incredibly questionable taste in men"

To which Nik asks Ghost "not offended?"

Ghost: "I've learned the truth hurts sometimes."

[langernameohnebedeutung]

gonna say, something or someone being misogynistic is on its own a good enough reason not to like it or not to spend time with that person. It's not just that misogyny is so normalised that not watching a show or not spending with someone just because of misogyny is treated as not enough of a reason - it's also that as a woman, you are under constant scrutiny and constantly thrown tests to show that you are 'not one of the difficult ones', that you can 'take a joke'.

But 'your friend keeps saying degrading things about women' is a good enough reason not to hang out with that person or not to go to a gathering. 'i read the last book by his author and it was deeply misogynistic' is a good enough reason why you don't want to read things by that author anymore. 'This comedian specifically makes a lot of mean-spirited jokes about women' reason enogh not to watch that or see that show, even if your friends want to go. 'This content creator keeps going on weird tangents about women' reason enough not to watch their stuff or support them.

and it is especially a very good reason not to date someone.

[myimaginationplain]

do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

[persy-r-bozo]

[sillyabtmusic]

hmmm hwon

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[mvrcellas]

hm

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

[thrill-kill-kult]

I’ve mostly been thinking about this in the context of an AU I created, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Toki’s transition out of his parents’ home and into the real world.

I imagine he left before he was 18 and had to support himself entirely from before that in order to get himself out. And like idk I’m just thinking about the moment when he finally moves out and he’s sitting on a bed that he bought that’s in a room he can call his own, and like he thinks he’s going to be instantly happy and that everything will be perfect, but then he has to reckon with the fact that it isn’t, and now he has to deal with grieving his old life and trying to fit in to a new life he doesn’t really understand and keep himself afloat.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Still thinking about Spiderpeople (and people connected to those Spiderpeople) from the universes where it seems an awful lot like they’re the only heroes landing in a universe where it’s one of the Spiderpeople who’s surrounded by other heroes like the Avengers and the Fantastic 4, etc

And obviously because of this they’re gonna be extra careful about secret identities because of all the extra heroes who aren’t Spidey hanging around, and I’m just thinking about the Prowler (Aaron) trying to figure out if he’s alive or even existing in this universe while trying not to give away too much so he’s just like “who’s the coolest bald man you know?”

And Spidey’s like “oh!! I know exactly who you want!! follow me!!”

He brings them to Nick Fury.

Later on they run into what’s obviously a variant of Miles, who the other Spidey of that universe didn’t bring up because Miles isn’t known as “Spiderman” in that universe (maybe it’s like “arachnikid,” or it’s Prowler!Miles, or maybe he’s just going through a phase where he’s trying out a new hero name each week, etc)

So Aaron’s like “oh great, I can definitely ask him, but again I gotta be discrete because of all these extra heroes around” so he asks him in the exact same way he asked the other Spidey (“who’s the coolest bald man you know?”)

Miles also brings them to Nick Fury.

(Yes his uncle is still alive, yes the other Aaron is absolutely gonna tell on him)

Also! Because there’s so much emphasis on the other heroes handling “big stuff”, I like to imagine they all keep trying to insert themselves into the situation because it’s a multiverse situation which falls under “their jurisdiction” and Spidey’s just like “??? they’re all Spiderpeople tho, this is my thing, go away, shoo”

[random-chaos-and-stuff]

Silly Game Time: Have you ever seen or heard a ghost (or what some might've considered to be a ghost)? If so, when and where?

Ohohohohohohoh I’ve been looking for an excuse to share some of this shit.

Short answer, yes, a while ago, twice at my house, and once on an island.

long answer is under the cut because I’ve been looking for an excuse to ramble about this stuff and it got a bit out of hand, aka horrifically long. So just be warned I guess.

So for context my mom’s side of the family has a history of some mildly supernatural stuff happening, and being able to sense stuff and all that jazz. Not in like the Hollywood type of way, just occasional feelings of a presence, or seeing something weird out of the corner of their eye, or encountering something strange for a bit, stuff like that. Overall pretty mild. And lucky me, I got it too. Maybe not ghosts or demons in the traditional sense most of the time, but definitely something else on occasion. Most of them are harmless, or just curious, but some are more malicious and all of that stuff. You can usually tell the difference based off vibes. Now here’s the thing, if you can more easily sense them, they can more easily sense you, and tend to get curious and interact a bit more because of it. I’ve encountered a couple of weird situations, none of which I can logically explain away easily (maybe the last one was my brain playing tricks on me, but considering it was on an island where a murder occurred on the next island over and was known to have many ghosts on it and literal graves I don’t think so), and I’ll share the ones I can think of right now here.

So this first one I don’t actually remember, because I was a newborn at the time. But my mom has told me about it a bunch. She said that when I was a baby and had just been brought home, I’d sometimes start randomly crying in my room. Now all kids do this, but she said I sounded almost scared. I’d always stop a while later, and when they checked on me I was fine. But she said that she felt a weird presence in my room sometimes. Now one time my mom apparently was putting me down for a nap, and I was all fine and dandy, the room all warm, and I went to sleep, and she left. A minute later I started crying really badly, so she rushed in, and apparently caught a flicker of someone looking at me by my crib, and the room was no joke several degrees colder, like actually cold in there. She immediately grabbed me and left the room, before telling whatever it was to leave, because it was scaring me. Sure enough, after that it left, and didn’t come back. It had just been curious.

The next thing I remember encountering was when I was like 10 or 11, it’s hard to remember, and wasn’t really a ghost I don’t think, but it was definitely something else, and it was definitely not nice. It possessed a stuffed monkey toy, one that came with a car in the trunk for some reason, with that cartoony smile and black eyes. It was cute for a while, until one day, it just. Wasn’t. Its face didn’t change, but somehow it felt more malicious, and like there was something behind it that meant us harm. It was in my younger brother’s and I’s room (we shared the room at the time), and there were several occasions when it moved on its own. Every single night it moved a little closer to my brother’s bed, inching across the room every time, though neither of us had touched it out of fear. Finally one day it got too close, and I was scared enough to go throw it out in the kitchen trash (downstairs, and across the hall/house from the at the time family room, which is important later), thinking that it would be gone in the morning. But instead, that morning we found it on the desk in the family room, laying across one of his other toys, as if nothing had happened. (I later asked both my parents and neither one had removed or touched it.) So my brother and I were scared, and I went and put it laying down in the kitchen on the stove, which was completely empty by the way, and went to talk with my brother. When I went back in, it was sitting straight up, propped up against the cookbook on the stove, just… staring. That freaked me out really bad, so I did the only thing my kid brain could think of (based off the limited media I had consumed at that age and what I had) and did an exorcism of sorts. I figured that crosses repelled demons or whatever, right? So I grabbed some lavender cough rub (which ended up working really well), drew a cross on it, and pinned it in a bike helmet so it couldn’t move and hung it in the breezeway. Repeated the cross thing a few more times, until it no longer felt actively malicious, and threw that thing away. It never returned.

Another one was a more complicated one, but I remember it really well. I think it was when I was 12 or 13, again, hard to remember. It was on an island, which was known for among other things, apparently having MANY ghosts, for many reasons. But I was playing a game of manhunt (basically a game of hide and seek mixed with tag for those who don’t know) at night on the island with some other kids in the group I was in, and it was all dark. I had started to feel a bit nervous and also didn’t know how long the game would last, so I started heading back to the hotel area/lawn area with lights and people, the main meeting place where everyone generally is, and people went after getting caught or opting out of the game. I began walking down this path, and kept seeing little blobs of shadow moving out of the corner of my eye, so I kept going to get back to the hotel area, not running or trying to catch their attention (seriously if you don’t need to draw supernatural attention then you probably shouldn’t, it rarely ends well), until I stopped for a moment because I saw a HUGE blob of shadow leap over the path, behind a fence into a garden or something, and disappear. I began walking to a more defined path after that, and soon began walking along the gravel path. After maybe a minute or less of walking, I heard footsteps behind me on the gravel path (a very distinct sound) and soon picked them out from my own. After a minute I stopped and turned around to see who it was, but nobody was there. But I still heard the footsteps on the path, getting closer. That’s when I bolted and absolutely LEGGED it back to the lawn area, to the nearest largish group of people with lights, and sticking with them for a while, until some of my friends showed up, having been caught, and we sat on the hotel area steps for a while under the lights.

So yeah, I definitely have. That’s not all of them, but they are the most memorable ones

[klutzytomb]

I need someone willing to set me on fire

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.