#because i have so many books to read already

[insteading]

My aunt and uncle married during a brief phase when Toddler Me was into football and insisted on wearing a helmet everywhere. I was talked out of wearing the helmet for my flower girl duties, but I tucked the basket of flowers under my arm like a quarterback and ran like hell to the minister in the end zone.

I got kicked out of sophomore history class on the first day as a result of how I answered the icebreaker questions ("What's the most recent book you read?" and "What one thing would you do to improve the world most?"). I responded, "The Autobiography of Malcolm X," and "All humans run into the sea and let the earth recover." I didn't get put on a watchlist because I was white and female in a society that acts as if both these categories are non-threatening, but also: I was not being nihilistic or an edgelord. I was being pissed about the limits of the question.

In college I put on reporter drag and crashed a press conference with the then-governor in order to ask a question about education funding that was really more of a "you fucking liar." He did not give me a serious answer, but a real reporter gave me a high five after and asked if I wanted a summer gig.

I kind of suck at knowing who to tag-- many of the people in my mentions have been tagged already-- so, if you see this, please jump in!

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[l-artemisia-del-secolo]

A couple of requests

"And this is our red witch?"

You were yanked out of your ordinary environment. You were yanked out of your house. And where were you teleported exactly?

Crawling out of fire was never a pleasant experience.

"Agatha!…" Fuck, you were getting angry. "Agatha!…" You could feel fireball forming in your palm.

"Hey! Is Harkness the only one who deserves your attention?"

You turned around as quickly as you could. That voice was familiar. That tone was close.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Out of the trees silhouette emerged. not even a second, a fleeting instant - you recognized her immediately.

"You've got something on your shoulder." Shoulder, really Rio? You shrugged, too close to your neck.

"Don't."

Oh, you didn't sound confident, Rio noticed. Rio smirked. Of course she did. Centuries you were apart and she still could read you like an open book.

____

"Did you miss me?"

You almost jumped. You forgot whether it was voice of your nightmares or dreams.

Well, the voice sure was as sultry as you remembered it to be. Not only that. You remembered all too well her obsession with a very specific silhouette, with open skin, with accent on her arms.

Rio knew you were looking at her. You were thinking about her.

You tried to keep your eyes focused on her. But it didn't work. Suddenly you stopped.

"Why are you here?"

You didn't allow Rio to get closer. Golden was your protective halo.

"Because of you." Rio was always straightforward. Even after all these years. "Not that easy to track you down. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the affort with the cover and protective spells. Clearly you were thinking about me, baby. Just not in a way I want it."

___

"I'm fine."

Of course, you were not. Your clothes was wet with your own blood. Shard of glass was bigger than you thought. And sharper, clearly sharper.

"I could…"

"Jen, I'm fine."

You let others move faster, you let them out of your sight. Potions were not good enough in this situation. You couldn't heal yourself, the only other option was… no, it wasn't an option.

You couldn't focus on the road. Pain was too much, tension was too much, moving was too much. Your own body wasfinally betraying you. You groaned.

"I definitely like this sound. But not in this circumstances."

Rio appeared just in time to help you keep the balance.

"I'm fine."

You were not strong enough to fight her hands on you.

"Yeah, I already heard that."

You leaned against Rio's shoulder. You didn't want to owe her anything. You were close, dangerously close.

Not now, not after everything. You were losing yourself on the road. You almost closed your eyes.

It was enough for her to barely wave a hand. Wound disappeared in an instant. You inhaled sharply and immediately pushed Rio away.

"You shouldn't have done that." Your whisper hit her harder than any trial. "It doesn't change anything."

"I know."

___

This coven was the worst thing you could imagine. Lunatics, has beens, humans, teens. But the worst thing - your ex-lover. You forgot at what point fucking death was a good idea.

Of course you were flooded with memories, with emotions, with tingling in your body. Fuck. You hated it here. Road was never even supposed to exist. You were not sure what spell chose you, but sure as hell Rio influenced it.

"We need to move quicker. Do you understand the meaning of this word." Agatha's voice was annoying as ever. You praised gods for living without her disturbance for so many years. Nothing was fine, while Harkness was around.

"Thief." You muttered. "What did you say, dear?" Lilia was close. Semblance of a companion at least. You bond appeared such a long time ago. "Nothing". You caught Rio's glance. Thief would be a too generous word for Death.

___

All the walking, all the fighting, all the arguing. Those witches were everything but the coven. Still rest andfire were universally accepted. Stories of the old glory were never part of your routine. You needed a practice of protections spells, you needed to think.

The last thing you wanted was to be a part of the old memory between women who hated each other. You tried to change path, but everything was too loud, as if the road itself amplified the voices.

"You took him!"

You've never heard Agatha like this. You yourself caused many cries of agony, but this one was different.

"He was never even yours." how did Rio manage to stay calm and distant?

"He was always mine, I created him."

"You cheated. And you know you cannot cheat me."

That was true. You were cursed while trying to do exactly that, while trying to live a life of pretended normalcy.

___

Of course you knew about history between Agatha and Rio. You were jealous at first. Even of the memory of them together.

But Rio managed to calm you down. You met ages after that affair. There was no reason for you not to believe she was yours. After the fight with Agatha something changed. Rio wasn't with you anymore. On her own she was wondering the woods,for brief moments appearing during vital moments.

You knew this Rio once, not for long.

"You're letting Agatha have all the fun." You didn't have to cheer her up. But… you cared. And it was betternot to upset death itself.

"More fun for her, more bodies for me. It always worked that way."

"Even with Nicholas."

Silence was awkward and not welcomed. You sat near her.

"You were the only one who refused this deal."

"And still you stayed."

Painfully soft. Painfully obvious. Painfully full of affection.

"It wasn't enough, was it?"

"It was always too much."

Of course, it was. It was Rio, all about Rio. Even now she wanted to grab you, to possess, to devour. You could practically feel the struggle in her mind. But she chose to be tender.

[runawaymun]

Two takeaways right now that I really cannot stress enough: 1) We cannot afford to keep spouting the "The American public is fucking stupid" and "Republicans are dumb and uneducated" rhetoric. I have already seen a new resurgence in the past 24 hours. Yes, it's true: One in five Americans are functionally illiterate. Many of them live in states like New Mexico and Mississippi, below the poverty line, with underfunded educational institutions, and very little access to resources to help them. A staggering amount of USAmericans read below a sixth grade level. This is not a moral failing. This is not their fault. This is a societal failing, an infrastructure failing. We've been failing the rust belt for decades and it's only getting worse. And it does not help our cause if we continue to turn up our noses and say they're all stupid cousin-kissing hillbillies who deserve what they're getting. That only helps Trump. That is how we got here. The division only helps the people in power to keep up the grift. As long as we continue to disparage and underestimate working people from the Midwest and the American South, we will continue to lose. They are tired of being condescended to, and that is why they like Trump. He at least pretends (badly, but he at least pretends) that he cares about their interests.

Remember this bit of propaganda?

All the way back from 1754?

We have to stop fighting each other. We cannot afford to continue saying 'Trumpers are stupid and hateful and uneducated' and continue this us-against-them mentality. It is JUST as bad as my Midwestern parents who say that Democrats are evil satanic child-killing communists. I grew up steeped in that environment. I fully believed it. Many people are just as scared as you are. They are working with the information they have. They believe they are doing the right thing, just as you do. They are watching their communities literally disintegrate and the only person that promises to bring them jobs is Donald Fucking Trump. And he is employing every propaganda tactic in the book to grift them. A big part of the lies the Republican party loves to spout is that they're persecuted and they're underdogs -- I grew up in this environment. It stems from an Evangelical worldview that to be righteous is to be persecuted. Disparaging these people, insulting them, condescending them, only feeds this narrative. The only way I got out of this mentality was by having access to community college, meeting kind people outside my bubble who were willing to have a conversation with me, and finally getting education that wasn't steeped in evangelical propaganda.

I invite you all to go and watch Megan Phelps-Roper's TEDtalk (or read her book, it's excellent) about how she left her family's cult. The only thing that broke through that fog of 'We are persecuted and therefore righteous' was when people stopped throwing cups of hot liquid and piss at her (when she was a child!), and started being kind and empathetic. We all can stand to learn a lot from stories like hers. The second that evil god-hating people started being kind to her was the second she began to question everything she'd been taught.

Yes, it's very easy to look at these people spewing hateful rhetoric and label them as evil. But they're not. The people exploiting all of us are evil. The people exploiting fear and division are evil. We need to call for accountability with news outlets, to fund grass-roots efforts to give adults with educational gaps access to help. Many of them simply could not continue going to school because their families were impoverished and they had to work so they could fucking eat. Many of them have undiagnosed disabilities because they do not have insurance to even go to a doctor. To be ignorant is not a moral failing. Willful ignorance? Absolutely. But ignorance, no. The only thing we can do now is be kind, invite people into discussion, and remember that the only enemy is the oppressor in power who views everybody as pawns and dollar signs. We are all the same to them.

2) Please do not fall into the trap of thinking this means that your vote does not count. Voting is more important than ever. You need to vote in your local elections. You need to. The Senate and the House are the lawmakers and the people in charge of declaring war. They have term limits. They are not untouchable. They are the only people now who are capable of checking Trump. And your local mayors, councils, etc are the people who are going to make the real difference between public healthcare, good education, censorship, civil rights, housing, etc. States have an immense amount of freedom to operate. That is how I have access to incredible free healthcare in mine. That is how we have one of the best public transit systems in the country. That is how we placed penalties on industries and got rid of smog and heavy pollution in the 70s. That is how we have gay bars and drag brunches and well-funded libraries. That is all local-government stuff. If you want your communities to change, you HAVE to vote locally. Please, please, please do not give up and think your vote doesn't matter. It does. It matters immensely.

[nonbinary-potatoes]

Prompt: star 05/11/12 @rosekillermicrofic

Word count: 464

"I don't get it," Evan said, looking at the piece of parchment Barty had handed him. He had read it three times, and all Barty did was stare expectantly.

"It's my divination work. We're doing star readings," Barty explained at last. He took the paper back and pointed at a diagram of different stars labelled with different times and dates.

"This one here" he pointed at a constellation label 01/09/72 12:34 "is when I met you" he grinned widely, digging in his pocket and slotting a green apple lollipop in his mouth. He spoke around the sweet as he continued to explain.

"See because... I don't know if some air and fire sign was aligned with mercury when we met. That means we're actually soul mates, " he laughed, taking the lollipop out his mouth and offering it to Evan. Evan took it and tucked it safely between his lips, raising an eyebrow at Barty's explanation.

"S'a good job, I already knew that," Evan joked, frowning as Barty continued to drone on about divination, not even acknowledging the hilarious joke he had made.

Barty had taken all 12 OWLS and seemed to enjoy every subject equally and was physically unable to shut up about every assignment and tidbit of information he learnt. Evan wouldn't have been shocked if he could pass all 12 just from having to share a room with Barty.

After far too long of listening to how the universe allegedly was certain that he and his boyfriend were meant to be, something he had to listen to a slightly different explanation of everytime Barty came back from divination, Evan had grown slightly bored. It wasn't that he didn't love Barty - he loved him to bits and peices, and he did love watching Barty talk about things he found interesting and how he was not so subtly showing his love for Evan even if it was in an odd way. But you can only listen to your boyfriend say mercury is in the microwave, and that makes us soul mates so many times before it feels like overkill.

"Bee..." Evan said, taking the near gone lollipop from his mouth to speak "Bee" he repeated himself after Barty didn't listen. "For fucks sake.." Evan grumbled under his breath, leaning foreward and pressing a short kiss onto Barty’s lips.

"I love you, but please, can we talk about anything but divination?" Evan half pleaded, trying to come off light and joking.

Barty took the lollipop back and nodded, biting down on the remains of the candy and thinking for a moment before tossing the marked work aside and grinning madly - his teeth stained slightly green.

"Did I tell you I read this book on necromancy..." Barty began, and Evan was content to just listen.

[theriu]

Now that we’ve reached the end of Dracula, I have some thoughts on a certain scene. (Major spoilers below if you haven’t read the book or the ending yet!)

I think it’s so, so important that Quincey Morris honors Mina’s request to promise that he will kill her if she turns, especially in light of Jonathan’s determination not to.

Occasional posts talk about how Jonathan was determined to follow Mina into vampirism, and speak of it in glowing terms as a sign of his love for her. And I agree, Jonathan’s love for his wife is beautiful and admirable. But in this one case, at least, his means of showing that love is shortsighted and selfish.

What would be gained by him following Mina into her doom? He wants her to not be alone? This is as sadly misguided as those claiming they will go to hell in order to be with their loved ones. Hell and vampirism are by nature isolating because in them, there is no longer any capacity for love or goodness or comfort. All good impulses and deeds are lost to those who become vampires. We see it even in how Dracula himself, a foul and wretched monster, seemed to find a breath of peace as he died—for JUST A MOMENT, his soul was freed of the curse and he could FEEL peace again. Mina would be no less alone with Jonathan also chained to the curse of vampirism. She wouldn’t even be capable of grieving his fate, because Mina and Jonathan would be completely overshadowed by the evil that consumes people who are turned into vampires.

And aside from that, Jonathan’s love is selfish because even if he could comfort Mina in her curse by joining her, he would still knowingly and willingly be dooming countless other people to suffer as he did. He would willingly become the same monster as Dracula, capable of terrorizing and murdering across the centuries, causing the same pain he and his friends and the Romanian villagers have felt countless times over. And he would knowingly and willingly be allowing the vampire that was once Mina to do the same by breaking his promise to kill her. And the fact that he hid his intentions from Mina suggests he already knows that, but was willing to allow it for the sake of the one person HE loves best.

That is why I find his actions to be selfish rather than noble. He'd be sacrificing the lives of countless people he doesn't personally care for just for the sake of the one person he personally cares for. The common denominator is the idea that only what he loves matters.

And that’s why Quincey’s promise is so important, and why his act of giving his life to help kill Dracula is even more noble. He not only destroyed Dracula and saved Mina—he saved Jonathan from himself, and who knows how many innocents from them both. He saved Jonathan from making a horrific mistake that would have doomed both Mina and Jonathan, as well as their victims, to a living hell.

And I like to think that, once the danger was past and Jonathan could contemplate things and talk it over with Mina (after all, these details were all available in the diary entries they collected), he would understand better what a mistake Quincey ultimately saved him from, and how Quincey Morris was an even greater hero than anyone could ever comprehend. Because Quincey Morris didn't stop one vampire.

He stopped three.

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

Okay, imma be real? I think this fandom gets way too upset over characterization differences between books (this'll be a long one just let me explain).

I see a lot of posts in the WOF fandom about how certain characters got ruined in the next books or how their characterizations were completely screwed over. A lot of posts also are like, "Oh, Tui messed up X character in this book so badly!" Or "All their personality has changed in this book, what happened to my favorite character?" and so on like that.

This kind of thing, ESPECIALLY after rereading the series recently, then coming back to the fandom, pisses me off to NO END for a couple of reasons.

1. Tui wasn't "ruining" your favorite characters personality in the next book, because the focus of the next book wasn't the character in question. The spotlight is on another character entirely, and trying to micromanage THAT many personalities to their truest form is INCREDIBLY difficult.

2. Plotting out character personalities is a GRUELING process, coming from someone who does a lot of writing. ESPECIALLY if it's original characters, because then you can't just pull from fandom or canon, you gotta do that shit yourself. And over the course of the canon, their personality is gonna change!

This brings me to my last point and probably the biggest reason:

3. EVERY BOOK IS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.

This has been a STAPLE of the Wings of Fire books from the VERY BEGINNING. With every new book, we as readers are jumping from one dragon's mental space to the next, learning about their traits and quirks and how they perceive the world around them, every single time we pick up the next book in the series. It's what helps give us those deeper insights into the characters that yall get so angry about when they aren't immediately represented in the next book, when that dragon is no longer our spotlight.

Also, when we are learning about the other dragons before we jump to their perspectives, the character that we are reading about is already making assumptions and assigning traits that they think correlate with the character in question! We are seeing the world through their eyes and thoughts, so when we move to another perspective, that dragon is doing the exact same thing, even though now we know more about one of the other characters!

And then the fandom gets hissy when the first character gets relegated into the background and assigned some base personality traits, even though that's exactly what happened before.

Personally, I think the ones who suffer from this the MOST are Clay in Arc 1 and Moon in Arc 2. Clay, according to fans, gets boiled down to nothing but his love for food, even though we see in his, Sunny's, and Peril's perspectives that he's more than that. His behaviors also directly correlate to why he gets that kind of background trait (although that's a whole other rant), and every time I see someone saying that Clay got screwed over by characterization, I take psychic damage.

And Moon. God, yall, Moon gets it THE WORST FROM YOU. I've seen SO MANY POSTS about how she got boiled down to nothing but a love triangle piece in the later arcs, which is only partly true, but we also see from ALL OF THOSE PERSPECTIVES (Qibli and Winter specifically) that the traits they're assigning her are both different aspects of how her character worked in the first book and what two lovestruck, moons-blinded dumbasses are seeing and choosing to view her as.

Her book even SHOWS how much of a NIGHTMARE it would be to have every character be deep and know their inner thoughts at all times. Moon herself gets mentally and physically overwhelmed near CONSTANTLY during the majority of her book, and I'm not even technically factoring in Darkstalkers' influence.

All of that to say, Wings of Fire fandom, is to stop losing your SHIT over how your characters might seem flat or not like they were in their books. All of these perspectives are different, and if you motherfuckers actually took some time to reread the books while actively LOOKING for those hints of your silly guys being the same silly guys, just from another dragon's POV, then maybe yall wouldn't be so pissed off about characterization in the books nearly HALF as often.

I don't even care how much discourse this is gonna spark I just felt the incredible urge to tell yall to use those skills you learned in English class and chill the FUCK OUT on this topic.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Now go use your eyes :>

.

[endwersed]

Sneak peek? 🫣 please?

Of course, anon! Here's a li'l sneak peek for the upcoming chapter 10 of the poets are right 😊

-

“Dinner was nice,” Stiles says, his voice soft, carefully casual. “I didn’t know you could cook like that.”

The water that Stiles is elbow deep into is warm, soapy suds sticking around his wrists as he scrubs rigorously at the dish in his hands. He has his sweater sleeves rolled up towards his elbows, fabric bunching tight around him, and it leaves his skin bare, leaves it free to brush up against Derek’s forearm. The brief touch feels even warmer than the water, somehow.

Peering at Derek from the corner of his eye, Stiles finds that Derek is staring steadfastly down. His fingers are curled firmly around a dishtowel, the material rumpled in his grip, rubbing meticulous, drying circles into the clean dish Stiles handed him just moments ago.

“I couldn’t always,” Derek says, still not even glancing sideways. “I, uh… I learned.”

Stiles hums. Honestly, it is as though the festive spirit has seeped all the way down to the core of him at this point in the day, because he feels too damn full of good food and good company and good wine to be anything but mellow, anything but pleasant. Even in the company of Derek, just the two of them left in this kitchen to clean up, he finds himself in a good mood. A real good mood, actually.

A good enough mood to crack jokes, even.

“Got bored of too many private chefs, huh?” he teases.

Derek huffs a laugh. Finally, his stare flicks over, snagging onto Stiles’ keen eye instantly. The smile stays curved at the corner of his mouth as they hold each other’s gazes, just looking at one another as their hands move in rhythmic, repetitive, well-practiced motions.

“Just got bored – period, actually.” A slight flush of red sweeps across Derek’s cheeks, just about visible in the low, evening light of the room. “I… I’m alone a lot. Only so many books you can get through in a row before you decide to pick up another hobby, I guess.”

Stiles pauses. The water circling his wrists ripples outwards as he blinks across at Derek.

“Oh,” he breathes. “I… yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

Of course he is alone a lot. His marriage lasted a single year. His mother snatched her selfish love away from him the moment he wriggled even an inch out from beneath her thumb. His sisters love for him is real, sure, but they have their own lives, their own loves, their own families.

Derek has nothing. An apartment, maybe. High up in the sky, empty and cold, way up above the rest of the world.

It feels like there is a too tight fist, squeezing around his heart. He forces himself to look away.

“Well, if you ever get bored of the haute cuisine,” he carries on, smile feeling thinner than before. “Maybe you can borrow that book Laura got me.”

It’s not exactly top of his damn reading list, that's for damn sure. A romance novel about young star-crossed lovers, a human and a werewolf, trying to defeat the odds with the overwhelming strength of their all-encompassing. Christ. She isn’t even trying to be subtle.

A strangled sort of noise chokes at the back of Derek’s throat. He covers it quickly with a sharp cough, tucked into the tight fist he draws up towards his mouth. His eyes dart back and forth between Stiles’ frown and the beyond dried dish in his hands more than once.

“I’ve, uh,” he starts, little more than a low sort of mumble, “read it, actually.”

Stiles lifts an eyebrow, head tilting to one side as he gazes at Derek thoughtfully.

“Oh, yeah?” he presses. “It any good?”

“You’ve probably read better,” Derek half-answers.

Stiles huffs a soft laugh, waiting a second as Derek carefully sets his item aside. He anticipates Derek’s open, waiting palm before it even presents itself, already there to pass over the next dish ready for drying.

“Glowing praise,” Stiles deadpans.

“Didn’t want to set your expectations too high,” Derek says drily. “Not that you’ll ever read it.”

“Good point,” Stiles scoffs ruefully, before letting the smile really pull at his mouth, letting it spread across his face as he turns to face Derek head on. “Was that your plan with the cooking, too? Throw me off the scent of how good you are with that lousy grilled cheese you once made for me?”

Derek arches an eyebrow, a hint of amusement touching his lips.

“I thought you liked that grilled cheese,” he says.

And Stiles is an idiot in a too good mood. He wholeheartedly blames the good food, the good company, and the good wine for the next, traitorous words that escape his mouth. Especially all of that good wine, actually.

“I liked the shirtless alpha making it for me a lot more.”

-

And - why the hell not, let's treat this as a WIP Wednesday!

No pressure tags: @dear-massacre @eevylynn @hedwig221b @lucky-bishop @raisesomehale ❤

[anonymousewrites]

A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 4) Epilogue

Father Figure! Sherlock Holmes x Teen! Reader

Epilogue: Brave Heart and Clever Brain

Summary: It's time for the rest of (Y/N)'s life to begin.

Mouse Note: And it's a wrap for A Study of the Heart and Brain. Wow. I can't believe so many years of this story have already gone by! Purple, Sherlock, and John have been so close to my heart for so long that it's sad to say goodbye, but I'm happy to say that they have happy lives in front of them. Thank you so much for all the support you've given to me over the years! I'll miss you all and hope to see you back for future projects! Thank you! This has been an amazing experience!

            “John’s calling,” said (Y/N) as they put a new skull on the mantle of the rebuilt 221B. It had taken time and effort (and money they blackmailed Mycroft into getting), but the flat was back. Their home was back.

            “I hate answering calls,” said Sherlock.

            “I’m going to answer it,” said (Y/N). They pressed the accept button. “Hello, John.”

            “Sherlock, (Y/N),” said John. “I think you better get round here.”

            Sherlock and (Y/N) exchanged a look.

l

            John held the disc that read “MISS YOU” on the top. Solemnly, he put it into the DVD player, and the TV turned on.

            Mary’s face greeted them once more. She smiled. “P.S,” she said.

            It was the next part of her original message. Sherlock, John, and (Y/N) leaned forward.

            “I know you three,” said Mary. “And if I’m gone, I know what you could become. Because I know who you really are. A junkie who solves crimes to get high. The doctor who never came home from the war. And the teenager who is too smart for their own good. Will you listen to me? Who you really are, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about the legend, the stories, the adventures. There is a last refuge for the desperate, the unloved, the persecuted. There is a final court of appeal for everyone. When life gets too strange, too impossible, too frightening, there is always one last hope. When all else fails, there are three people sitting, arguing in a scruffy flat, like they’ve always been there and they always will. The best and wisest people I have ever known, my Baker Street family, Sherlock Holmes, (Y/N) Holmes, and Dr. Watson.”

            (Y/N) smiled.

l

            “Congratulations!” cheered Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, and John. Rosie babbled in John’s arms. Mycroft lifted his drink but didn’t cheer.

            (Y/N) grinned and proudly held up the signed adoption papers. They had already been part of the Holmes family for years, but this just made it even more official.

            “That’s my kid!” said Sherlock, smiling ear-to-ear.

            He hugged (Y/N) tightly, and they hugged him back. Their home was whole once more. 221B was rebuilt. John was back. Even Eurus had started to smile when playing, and Mr. and Mrs. Holmes had gotten to hear her play with Sherlock and (Y/N).

            They were going to be okay. They were okay. The Holmes family was together.

            A knock at the door. (Y/N) turned to it.

            “No one else was invited,” said John, frowning.

            “I’ll send off the client,” huffed Mrs. Hudson.

            “No, no, it’s a guest,” said Sherlock.

            “Who?” (Y/N) tilted their head.

            “I invited them to dinner.” Sherlock smiled.

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they moved to the door in a moment.

            “Who—” John watched (Y/N) throw the door open.

            “Good evening, everyone.” Irene Adler smiled, dressed in purple dress and heels.

            “Irene,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Oh, god,” groaned Mycroft.

            “You texted her back,” said John, grinning at Sherlock.

            “For (Y/N),” said Sherlock.

            John shook his head fondly.

            “Thanks for coming,” said (Y/N) as they walked to the living room with Irene.

            “Of course,” said Irene. She looked at them. “Are you doing alright? I heard about what happened. I thought the call was strange.”

            Mycroft sighed, knowing one of his men had been compromised and told her everything, but (Y/N) was just happy.

            “I’m doing fine,” said (Y/N).

            Irene patted their cheek. “Good.” She leaned in briefly. “And I meant every word.”

            (Y/N) ducked their head. “I did, too.”

            Irene smiled at them. “I’m glad.” She turned towards the table. “How is everyone feeling?” She looked at Mycroft and smirked. “I’ve heard your position as the ‘clever one’ of the family has been usurped.”

            “It has not,” said Mycroft indignantly.

            “I’m smarter than you,” said (Y/N), looking at him and smirking. “I’m the smartest Holmes.”

            “I agree with them,” said Sherlock.

            Mycroft rolled his eyes and looked at Irene. “You are quite daring to return here.”

            “Am I?” remarked Irene innocently, sitting down.

            (Y/N) watched their family begin to interact with one another and smiled. They looked at Sherlock. “You actually invited her.”

            “Your whole family is here,” said Sherlock, smiling at them.

            (Y/N) hugged him. “Thank you, Dad. Thank you so much. For finding me, for teaching me, for loving me.”

            Sherlock hugged him back. “I’d do it a thousand times. I love you, (Y/N).”

            “I love you, too, Dad,” said (Y/N). They had everything they needed. Love, family, a brave heart, and a clever brain. They had everything they ever wanted.

l

Years later…

            “You be good for Mrs. Hudson, alright?” John looked at a now toddler Rosie with a smile.

            Rosie nodded. “Uh-huh.”

       ��    “And if Sherlock told you to see what would happen if you do…anything…don’t do it,” said John.

            Rosie just smiled, and John groaned. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help looking at her fondly.

            “(Y/N), you ready?” said Sherlock.

            An adult (Y/N) nodded as they entered the room. They pulled on a long purple coat. “Of course.” They smirked. “I’m always ready. After all…” They tossed Sherlock’s deerstalker to him. “The game is on.”

Taglist:

@stilesstilinskiforlife-blog

@im-making-an-effort

@ilse235

@schrodingers-intelligence

@awsedrftgyhujikol

@lxserthxngzzz

@forever1313

@mentallyunstablemanlover

@roo024

@ohimjustagirlidrathetnotbe

@snowy-violet

@jaguarthecat

[extremely-judgemental]

This got me thinking about Amarantha and Ianthe, so let’s talk.

I don't know what her obsession with female villains having sex slaves is but it was already tired the first time she did it. A woman can and should be taken seriously as a villain without being a serial r**ist.

@lady-tragedy on violence in SJM's books.

Outside of her romances, sex is still a core part of SJM’s books. As an ace reader, for me, these scenes are nothing more than an insight to the characters’ beliefs and behaviours. When I read about the sexual crimes committed by Amarantha and Ianthe, it felt like a desperate and unnecessary attempt to make them villains.

Amarantha is a ruthless warrior of Hybern who comes to Prythian as a courtier. Once she settles in, she tricks the High Lords, steals their powers, keeps them captive so they can’t topple her dictatorship. Her cruelty is already established with Lucien’s mutilation, Jurian’s fate, and her relentless pursuit of Tamlin since he was a boy. She’s highly prejudiced, creatively cunning, and sadistic. Knowing Tamlin’s loyalty to the lands, she forces him to be the cause of his friends’ deaths. She sets impossible challenges for Feyre knowing her mortal body might give out before she completes even one.

She comes off a bit cartoonish with her grand monologues and threats while not doing much (until that last chapter) than being a puppeteer. But her drive is interesting and gives her that sense of evil in her nature. Her sister dies at the hands of her mortal lover after being tortured. This reinforces her goals to enslave the humans again. Since the faeries were divided during the last war, she unites Prythian to eliminate any opposition. Even her hatred for Feyre is driven by this. She wants to prove that every one of the mortals is like Jurian—unfaithful and merciless.

Amarantha is a true villain and there’s more than enough proof of her villainy without Rhysand’s sexual abuse. If we remove that from the plot, her potential isn’t weakened. With it, her actions are out of character and pointless and raises a lot of questions. There are no other hints that she’s sexually sadistic. If she was, who are her other victims UtM? Why does she hurt the most evil High Lord who doesn’t shy away from putting on such shows in this way? If this is to humiliate him, why continue when he pretends to enjoy it? And if this is about dominance, why doesn’t she go after the other High Lords?

Moreover, it undermines her core reasons. Amarantha wants to rule. She’s obsessive and ambitious. In the fifty years, she grows comfortable being Queen of Prythian but her tyranny is not an elaborate plan to trap Tamlin. He’s a game which she improvised to achieve everything she wants in one move. Tamlin offering himself wouldn’t have saved Rhysand or the others UtM. Her refusal to release Prythian when Feyre completes the tasks proves it. But because of the last minute addition of Rhysand’s abuse, all of Amarantha’s real causes and crimes are shadowed and she becomes a woman driven by lust for two men.

Ianthe is a priestess who associates herself with influential men for her means. Since she has no magical abilities or a high position in the society except for the priestess title, she uses her body to get what she wants. Her motivations are not as clear (iirc) but the time she’s in hiding with her family could be concurred as a driving factor, or the lack of influence in a patriarchal world, or like Amarantha, she wants power, plain and simple.

There are many moments that show her evil side. She actively encourages the separation between Tamlin and Feyre by manipulating them. She betrays Nesta and Elain’s location to win favour from Hybern. She pushes Tamlin to carry out barbaric acts in the name of upholding traditions which is underscored by her desire for power. Despite this, the only ones remembered are the sexual crimes she committed which leads to many questions.

Ianthe’s exceptionally beautiful known to win any man she wants. She’s a childhood friend of Tamlin and when she returns, his relationship with Feyre is already beginning to crack. Instead of targeting him, she goes for Lucien who neither trusts her nor shows interest in her. If she wants power, why choose the one who wouldn’t play by her rules and won’t ever be a High Lord? Why doesn’t she target one of the others recently crowned UtM?

Pursuing Rhysand makes sense as he’s the ‘most powerful High Lord’. But he has a reputation to have whores as he pleases and his response to her isn’t in line with the mask he wears. He doesn’t have his evil attitude nor does he behave like the manipulative mastermind he’s claimed to be. Considering this, the memory of Ianthe harassing him serves to drive Feyre’s hatred towards the only support left in Spring other than Tamlin and Lucien.

Duality of sex and abuse in the series

I’m not denying that these two women sexually abused men. Plotwise, it doesn’t conform to Amarantha’s character or support Ianthe’s cause. Let’s say it’s a random incident because characters can be unpredictable sometimes. But then, the only two notable villainesses in the series turn out to be sexual predators.

On the other hand, sex is a rite of passage for the ‘good’ female leads—Feyre accepting the role of Rhysand’s whore, Morrigan becoming sexually hyperactive and Nesta having multiple partners. And they use seduction as a weapon which becomes part of their strength and identity. Even before Ianthe assaults Lucien, Feyre disapproves her acts of pursuing men. But when she takes charge of her life, she does the same with Tarquin. She also exploits Lucien’s friendship and ruins his reputation across courts. These are considered her accomplishments. (And, it’s hard to say how far she’d have gone in her vengeance if things hadn’t turned out her way. She isn’t abusive but her inner thoughts in Lucien’s bedroom felt more than suspicious.)

Also, none of the victims are equally sympathised in the narrative. Female victims don’t talk about their abuse or heal from it on page. Among the men, only Rhysand earns compassion from the characters and the readers while Lucien’s is forgotten and Tamlin’s is ignored. I’m not entirely convinced either of these women would be hated as much had Rhysand not been their prey because it’s become the highlight of their crimes, and Tamlin is still heavily criticised for not sacrificing himself and blamed for the sisters’ deaths.

What truly stands out is that Ianthe parallels Rhysand while Amarantha, Cassian. Ianthe has a goal and goes as far as to assault someone for it—similar to what Rhysand did to Feyre. Amarantha's control and punishment of Rhysand reflects Cassian’s behaviour towards Nesta. He also mirrors Ianthe if we consider his stalking. In SJM's world, while the men are forgiven and their acts are fetishised even, the women are considered a disgrace and fated to die. They are reduced to mere temptresses, erasing any ingenuity in their characters. This double standard reinforces the idea that the gravest crime a woman can commit is abuse against a man. She’s only a villain when she acts like a man, pursues like a man, aspires like a man.

[crossdressingdeath]

herrshepard Despite everything, it sucks that the game barely mentions any charas from the three older games (apart from the few cameos) :c

I actually don't think it's fair to remove the cameos from consideration here. First because "the game barely mentions any characters from the previous games apart from the cameos" also applies to DA2 and DAI (most of their references take the form of cameos too), and second because... that's a lot of references that you're removing from the board. Spoilers for the cameos, but so far in the game (I'm just past Weisshaupt, for context) I've seen Varric, Solas, Harding, Morrigan, Quiz, Dorian, and Isabela. If we count characters we knew about in previous games but hadn't seen there's also Maevaris. Adding in the Tevinter Nights characters there's Strife, Irelin, Viago, Teia, Illario, Caterina, Antoine, and Evka (and that's not counting the outright villains from TN, multiple of whom have or are going to make appearances/have been referenced). DAV is at worst pretty even with the previous games in terms of cameo appearances! Dismissing them and then saying it barely references past characters just doesn't seem fair. I really think that between people looking for the limitations of the worldstate and DAI's massive overuse of cameos and references people are vastly overestimating just how many references to past characters this series has generally had!

And the thing with DAI is... it was way too reliant on cameos and references and just in general the players already caring about the characters involved. HLtA is a mess of desperate clinging to audience nostalgia to force a Painful Sacrifice on the player that Quiz in-game wouldn't care about anywhere near as much, regardless of whether or not it made sense in universe (I still don't know how the hell Hawke met Loghain). WEaWH is worse, relying on context from a book that the vast majority of their player base didn't read. Two thirds of your advisors are familiar faces from Origins. Huge chunks of DAI completely fall apart if the audience doesn't already know and have a strong emotional connection to the past two games! That already wasn't a smart move in DAI (the complaining about WEaWH especially can get pretty heated even now), and with the ten year gap between games and the fact that Bioware very clearly wants to win over new players rather than just hold on to their existing fanbase (which... yeah, that's the correct move) it wouldn't be at all feasible here. And in-universe... it's been a decade since DAI. Two since DAO. And both those games and DA2 happened on the opposite side of Thedas, and this game is set during a situation that would make travel difficult at best and definitely extremely unwise for anyone not already in the North. I know it's not the most popular opinion, but I honestly much prefer them keeping the list of cameos and references to people who would be present in northern Thedas or would at least still be relevant to northerners at this point in the timeline over them cramming the game and the codex with references just for the sake of having them!

It's kind of funny seeing people claim that Zevran's not mentioned in DAV because all the Crows are terrified of him, because like... guys, it's infinitely more likely that he's just causing problems for House Arainai as the only house we can say with any certainty he's had any interactions with, especially given when he's mentioned in Tevinter Nights Viago seems distinctly unfussed and basically dismisses him as House Arainai's embarrassment (which is definitely partially because the writers didn't want to get into potentially variable details, but they didn't have to mention him at all if that was the only reason). It makes far more sense to me to assume that he's not mentioned because we're dealing with houses Dellamorte, de Riva and Cantori and none of them have any reason to care.

[bookwyrminspiration]

guess who just went to the library and DIDNT bring home any books at all!! even though i specifically went around looking at books despite my better judgement!! amazing what we’re capable of <3

[buttercupshands]

rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)

(but it did inspire me)

on another note

finally!!

[coquelicoq]

the best reason to socialize is so that you will have stories to tell other people while you're socializing with them. it's a racket. a pyramid scheme. it's all built on air

[mamawasatesttube]

sorry i need to be a hater for a minute. tim drake: robin is a plague upon this earth because it is late 2024 and i Still can't go into kon tags without seeing that stupid fucking blond bitch. enough

[marlynnofmany]

I tell myself that someday these will be valuable collector's items, instead of just an annoying printing error.

Remember that "black hole between the pages" glitch? I found more copies at the bottom of the box with it. Time to print out more little ~collector's item~ leaflets with the missing text. Sigh.

[kingslionheart]

I was wondering, do you think alfred and uhtred had feelings for each other in canon?

ALRIGHT SO. I'm so extremely sorry for taking so long to answer, life has been messy for a while now and I think it has been almost 3 months since you sent this. I have basically written this entire answer little by little every single day since I first received the ask and I have only just now finished reading it again.

EVEN MORE APOLOGIES BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE EXTREMELY LONG, I'll keep it under the cut!!

Please bear in mind that there are spoilers for the entire show and film and please forgive any possible typo.

OFF WE GO NOW!!

In general I think it is important to note that the last kingdom is a show FULL of queer characters (and I will die on that hill), mostly because there's just so much subtext in the whole show, and Alfred is 100% queercoded.

There are so many aspects of his character that just betray his queerness and the first thing that does that is literally the thing so many blame him for: the way he treats Uhtred.

NOW.

Let's look at Alfred's first scene ever. Alfred appears in 1x02 and he's introduced as someone who considers himself a sinner because of his inability to control his lust. When Beocca speaks to him about the girl he’s currently feeling guilty about, Alfred's immediate first reaction is to banish her, but instead he's presented with the option of bringing her into his service. Now the reason why it is proposed by Beocca is to keep her close to show God that he's able to resist temptation and, when he does resist, to thank this higher being he so desperately believes in. This is something that comes again in 1x03 when Beocca tells him to pray for strenght the moment he almost fails again.

In brief we know that there are two moments when Alfred has to pray: when he resists temptation and when he's tempted.

After he becomes king he reserves a very particular treatment for this girl who tempted him. In 1×04 we can see, for example, that soon after washing his hands, he basically throws a towel at her without a single glance. The treatment he gives her is a cold and distant one and that's the exact same way he treats Uhtred.

Indeed, as he did when he accepted Beocca's suggestion about the servant girl, I actually believe that proving God that he could resist temptation is one of the two reasons why Alfred has brought Uhtred into his service in the first place. The only other important use he had was his knowledge of the Danes, because, at least at this point of the story, the reason of him being such a fantastic sword genuinely does not stand.

In S1 it is very obvious that Uhtred isn't that much of a great warrior, and that makes sense because he's still very young, and at the end of the day he only first made his reputation when he killed Ubba, which, by Uhtred's own admission in the books, was entirely by luck, since he was actually the one who was about to get killed. Of course it is absolutely clear why he would have never admitted such thing, he needed that reputation and that was the first significant chance he got, but the thing is that he had been in Alfred's service for a few years already when that happened.

Alfred gave lands and a title of ealdorman to someone who was a 18 years old who came from Northumbria, a some guy who had absolutely nothing and no reputation whatsover, and that he himself barely knew, even worse a man who looked like a dane and that was a pagan. If you ignore Uhtred's point of view, that's absolutely insane of someone who just became a king who didn't even have that much support from his nobles yet.

It was serving Alfred that granted Uhtred to become an actual warrior with reputation, before that he wasn't one, as Uhtred himself told Alfred in 1×02.

As I said, the only good reason for Alfred to take such a man into his service was to have danish knowledge in court, but even that could have been something quick, you know, learning the basics and then just keeping contact with him as a spy, exactly as he did with Haesten at the end of S2 and at the beginning of S3, but no. Alfred tried his very best to tie him down to Wessex and make sure that he would remain. Why is that? It is to prove that he was able to resist temptation and being in control of his own body.

Alfred was an extremely pious man as many say throughout the whole show and even in the film. He needed to prove himself to God so that he would have had favour from his part and back then there was also the whole concept of "a king who's not able to control his body is not able to control his kingdom". Resisting temptation with a man would have proven it even more than resisting temptation with a woman, especially because, compared to the other servants, Alfred genuinely arrives to a point where he's actually and sort of obviously in love with Uhtred, so it isn't any longer just a body thing but a mind/heart thing, so even worse because that would cause his judgement to be clouded, Alfred himself admits this in 2x06, where he also says that Uhtred is a temptation to him.

The word temptation is an interesting one because Alfred always uses it with a sexual connotation, we saw that in s1 especially, but I want to talk about the episode I just mentioned. Here Alfred talks about Uhtred to Aelswith and he says:

What if all this time, it has been the work of the Devil tempting me? Offering me this warrior, this seemingly loyal and brave man, who piece by small piece, is eating at my soul and clouding what I believe to be right and wrong.

Alfred here, as I said already, explicitly says that he considers Uhtred a temptation sent by the devil, which, with the knowledge of his specific use of that word, can only mean one thing. The fact itself that Aelswith then replies that "this is what the devil would do" is noteworthy because that is a topic once called to attention by Asser in 1x06 when talking about Iseult he tells Uhtred "I know the devil exists, hiding within beauty is a trick he will use often, I'm sure". Aelswith gives Alfred a solution to the problem by telling him to get rid of him, and that's what does, he banishes Uhtred. Alfred talked of Uhtred as a temptation and then he chose to banish him for a while, does it by any chance remind you of something? His first instict in 1x02 about the servant.

Another thing that is very important to point out is that, as I said before, Alfred is considered a pious christian, so we know that Alfred prays daily and a lot, he even uses prayers to establish a political connection most of the times, but that can't prove his piety because many did too. The only times Alfred proves his piety are those when he prays alone and that happens 3 times in 3 seasons, which is funny since we could have expected way more for his reputation, but since it happens so little there has to be a meaning. As we said, we know that Alfred has to pray in two specific moments: when he has to thank God for resisting temptation and when he's tempted.

So very casually the times where he prays alone are always connected to Uhtred.

The first moment it happens is in 2x06, before the scene when Alfred admits that Uhtred tempts him and after the scene when Alfred screams at Uhtred "I do not know you and I could never know you", which is totally "know" as the biblical meaning of the word, if we consider everything that I have said before. The two other times are in s3, when Alfred's love for Uhtred is way more obvious and rather in a more romantic way than just attraction. The first time in that season is in 3x03 when he's there praying, with tears in his eyes, a few weeks (perhaps even a month) after Uhtred has betrayed him, and there he speaks of him and we see that he's hurt and wants to hurt Uhtred in return, so there's an element of heartbreak. The second time is in 3x06, after he has seen Uhtred again for the first time since his betrayal, and there we can find something close to worry for Uhtred's condition as a pagan, because he says that "He is a man in great need of the guidance of God". In 3x08 there's also an interesting hint about his prayers when Beocca hypothyses that Alfred prays for Uhtred's return and the truth behind it is written plainly on Alfred's face. His prayers shifted from a physical attraction type of temptation to something that could very clearly be recognised as love.

S3 is THE proof that Alfred was in love with Uhtred and, while you can already see it in the first episode of it when he watched Uhtred ride away from the city (which he also did in 1×02), that love becomes more obvious immediately after Uhtred betrays him in 3x02, YES THAT SCENE WHEN HE’S CRYING ALONE IN THE ROOM. While I do realise that it could be interpred as crying because his dream of an england was in danger, STILL you know that it is not just that, that man was heartbroken and the worst thing about it is that Alfred totally knew that he had no one to blame but himself, because Alfred is always perfectly aware of the way he treats Uhtred, think about the “I do not, I cannot” in 2x06 when Aelswith asks him if he trusts him, Alfred cannot trust Uhtred because if he did then he would totally fall into temptation, I MEAN LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO AETHELSTAN WITH INGILMUNDR.

From that episode onward Alfred is on another level of misery, and that’s truly an achievement considering how miserable that man always is. First of all he’s angrier than ever and that anger reaches levels of revenge, confirmed by Alfred himself in 3×09 when he says this:

It was done to damn you. To inflict pain, possibly. I try to make decisions rationally. However, taking your children was not a rational decision. It was thoughtless. It was selfish.

Here Alfred admits that he wanted to hurt Uhtred and why did he do that? Because he wasn’t thinking rationally, and why wasn’t he thinking rationally? Because it concerned Uhtred. This literally always goes back to 2x06, because Alfred did say there that Uhtred clouded his judgment and that is the proof. When it comes to Uhtred, when Uhtred is around, he just can’t think rationally. That’s literally some romantic shit there.

I made the example of Aethelstan and Ingilmundr earlier and that truly fits this whole part really well, because in the film Aethelstan is portrayed as someone who’s blind and acting in a completely irrational way because he’s in love with Ingilmundr, his oathman. I would also love to point out how Aethelstan is portrayed as a pious christian king who prays and acts only for his own salvation, since he considers himself a sinner for his queerness. There’s so much guilt in that boy and, especially, more than once he’s compared to Alfred: first by Ingilmundr who tells him that he has to be pious so that men would speak of him as they spoke of his grandfather, and second when Aethelstan talks to Uhtred and indirectly compares his sins as worse than the ones of Alfred, so the connection between them is not only about piety, but also sins. Then, no less important, I think it is quiet obvious who Ingilmundr reminds of considering how he was “born a dane but raised saxon”. The parallels are right there and have never been louder.

Another parallel that I want to point out is the connotation between homosexuality and England, that’s particularly connected to the film because in SKMD Aethelstan wants to unite it simply to redeem himself for having a male lover:

Ingilmundr: Perhaps return to your grandfather’s vision for England. Perhaps now there is an urgency to bring the pagans to light.

Aethelstan: Will that cleanse me? Us?

Ingilmundr: Well, surely the greater the lands, the greater the faith. Go beyond what Alfred dreamed of. Look to the islands God made, not the countries ordained by men, and bring all to Christianity. So when you are judged, you will be found in balance. And thus may accept both the sin… and the conquest against it.

Notice how even in this whole thing Alfred sort of remains the greatest sinner of them all, because Ingilmundr here says to bring to christianity the lands that God created and not the ones that men, Alfred, wanted to make, it almost feels as if he’s saying that his sin would only be accepted if he does what God offers him in lands and therefore if he doesn’t put himself above God by being the one who decides which parts to unite and which not. Here Alfred is truly portrayed as someone who has put himself above God in his decisions and thus England would have never cleansed him for his sins, because he was directly sinning while planning it and actually, always back in 2x06, Alfred too considered himself a sinner for the way he was laying the fundations of the country, but not in the way Ingilimundr meant but because “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen”, so what made him a sinner was his connection to Uhtred.

The thing is that as a consequence in the film England is connected to carnal sins and, indeed, as you have probably realised already when you watched the show, that country has ALWAYS been put in some sexual way, you may call it Alfred’s fav kink. That seriously begins in 1x03 when Alfred is making out with that servant (the same one we have talked about before) and he literally goes like “I will defend you with my life, you stand as everything that is precious, you are Wessex, England, always to be cherished, never to be violated, only to be loved, vigorously”, therefore Alfred arrived to the point of seeing someone as a personification of England and that happens only another time in the show and that is in 2x03 when he says to Uhtred “You are a Saxon who is also a Dane, The very embodiment of the England that must emerge”.

THE VERY EMBODIMENT.

To him Uhtred was the personification of England and now this might be a bittttt too much from me, but even in 3x09 when Alfred is dying his last conversation is about Uhtred and the role he will have in the formation of England, and there Aelswith is trying to make Alfred see that it is wrong because being guided (SO RELYING) by a pagan means straying from God’s rightenous path, but what does Alfred do? He literally defends Uhtred and those are his last few breaths, what has Alfred said to that servant? “I will defend you with my life, […] you are […] England”, and look at Alfred’s final words:

Aelswith: Why are the Danes forever at our door? Because we are being punished, Lord, for the presence of this heathen.

Alfred: He is for England.

Aelswith: He is an outlaw.

Alfred: My England... my love.

Alfred basically dies defending Uhtred and while “My England” could be interpreted as him thinking about the actual country, the whole conversation and the whole parallels both between 1x03 and 2x03, so with the knowledge that to him Uhtred is England, I DON’T KNOW I JUST CAN’T HELP BUT THINK “HMM YOU KNOW WHAT, PERHAPS HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ENGLAND ENGLAND”

As you have probably understood, I believe that the moment when Alfred confessed his feelings for Uhtred was in 2x06 and he literally confessed them to Aelswith, so at beginning of S3 she has been knowing it for years.

Now let’s see all of S3 from Aelswith’s point of view. In this season her beloved husband is dying and she's painfully aware he is, even more after Alfred confirms it in 3x02. She knows it will happen, thus she tries to stay at his side as much as possible because Aelswith loved Alfred so much and despite everything (cough cough despite his cheating cough cough), then at some point she witnesses her husband's life be put in danger when he is taken as a hostage by the same man she knows he has feelings for. That man escapes and her husband is abandoned by him and, instead of seeing the anger he's showing to everyone, she sees how broken he is because of that, because she knows that Uhtred did not only break his oath but wholeheartedly broke Alfred’s heart. She has to witness not only her husband’s suffering because of his illness, but also the pain he feels because that man he loves has left him. The nearer her husband gets to his death, the nearer she notices the way he wants to forgive that same man who has made him suffer for years now (s3 starts in 891/892 and Alfred’s death happens in 899), then right before her husband’s passing she finds them together in his study, completely alone. She tries to make her husband reason (indirectly even trying to remind him of how much pain he went through because of him) but instead her husband orders her to leave, she probably hasn’t even seen Uhtred return from the room until late in the evening. Her husband dies not long after and she’s hurt because she has lost the man she's stood by and loved for most of her life, but in all of this… Who’s the one who left her husband? Who’s the one who broke his heart? Who’s the one who in a way could have worsed his condition because of the mental pain he had to go through because of him? Uhtred. So she imprisons Uhtred, threatens to kill him, but then accepts to just exile him, but then, in front of the whole of Winchester, Uhtred gives an entire speech about his relationship with her husband arriving to a point in which he even says that he loved Alfred. This is worsened by the fact that, in her last conversation with him, Alfred was going against her just to defend him.

Aelswith’s anger towards Uhtred is the most understandable reaction ever.

A very interesting scene to me, with the knowledge that Aelswith has this insight of Alfred’s feelings for Uhtred, is the scene where she prays in 3x08, because... THE THINGS SHE SAYS!!

Lord God, give me strength and guidance to do your work. If it is right and proper to rely upon a heathen, albeit for violence, then I beg you... show me a sign. Help me. I want my son to remain untarnished by heathen ways. I wish him to be God's king. Pure.

Here she’s praying for Edward in the prospect of a possible connection to Uhtred in case the latter becomes his oathman once he’s king, but it is the last part of the whole prayer that is fascinating, because in this moment she says what a king is if he’s connected to him and, therefore, the reference to Alfred is undeniable: the king had to be “untarnished by heathen ways” so that he could be “God’s king” and “pure”.

Alfred was connected to Uhtred so he was tarnished by heathen ways, he was not God’s king and he was not pure, all because of it.

Alfred eveasdropped this whole thing and when Aelswith noticed him, they both understood exactly what she was truly talking about and the expression on Alfred’s face was one of someone who actually believed those things about himself as well, and indeed you see that a lot in S3 when he shows more than once that he’s scared that he won’t end up in heaven. In 2x06 there's also another hint at that when he says “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen, the iron of a pagan”, and when Aelswith tells him “You are God's king, lord" his answer is "Yet at my right hand is a pagan”.

Alfred has always been terrified at the possibility of not ending up in heaven because of what he had with Uhtred, but despite all of that he's always defended him and saved his life multiple times, just as Uhtred did with him.

Since Uhtred arrived in Wessex he has risked death more than once in every season, and Alfred has always tried to find a way to save his life:

1x03, Ubba offered Alfred a peace for silver and Uhtred’s head, Alfred refused and told him that he would have returned to the sword if he didn’t accept only to be paid.

1x05, Uhtred unleashed a sword in front of Alfred during prayers, while screaming at him in front of many people of Winchester. That’s a crime that is supposed to be punished with death, Alfred made him crawl instead.

1x06/1x07, Uhtred, claiming to do Alfred’s business, plundered Cornwall and sided with a Dane against a christian king, Alfred was supposed to kill him immediately, even more when Uhtred, supposed to beg for forgiveness, decided to scream in his face that he would never kneel neither to him nor to his God, but instead Alfred accepted Leofric’s proposal of a fight to the death so that “God would decide”, that means he left the possibility of Uhtred’s survival, even more because he chose the exact day for that fight to happen, which, casually, was on the day of a saint he liked a lot, and indeed the day after he called Uhtred and told him that he didn't like the thought of someone dying on that day. He tried to save him by offering him the option of giving everything back and resuming the debt (since it was with the plunder that he paid it), but Uhtred didn’t want to leave Iseult, so he refused.

2x03, he sent Ragnar to rescue Uhtred from slavery.

3x02, first, he was most likely going to forgive Uhtred for desecrating the cemetery; second, he should have senteced Uhtred to death for killing a monk in front of the whole witan and then escaping (thus worsening his actions), but instead he asked for an oath and spared his life; third, after he threatened his life Alfred did order for him to be killed, but as soon as he escaped he simply banished him from Wessex, he could have made someone follow him, but he didn’t.

3x05, Uhtred was an outlaw, while he was in Mercia Alfred could have still had him killed, since at the end of the day he was one of his enemies, but instead he used the excuse of him having Aethelflaed’s protection. Alfred could have killed him and no one would have said anything about it, but he did not.

3x08/3x09 Uhtred was still an outlaw here and Alfred claimed before that he would have killed him if stepped foot into Wessex, but he did not, instead he even assured his protection for when he knew he wouldn’t have been alive anymore to protect him.

Now, I feel like Alfred has a sort of codependency when it comes to Uhtred. That man constantly wants him next to him and he almost needs him to be there, the fact itself that in 2x05 Odda mentions that Alfred always says the same thing about Uhtred’s hall in Coccham “every time we visit”, hints at them being there quite ofter and there was only a 3 years time jump between the first and second half of S2, so Uhtred has had those lands for 3 years, probably even less, so… Exactly how many times have you visited this man in 3 years, Alfred? But, whether there's actually an element of codependency or not, there's certainly something that pulls them together, and indeed it is explicitly said that Uhtred and Alfred are “bonded" and that for that fact alone they can't kill each other even when they should.

In 3×09 Alfred points a sword to Uhtred's throat and asks him if he believes he could kill him, and to that Uhtred answers “we are bonded, you cannot kill me just as I cannot kill you”, and it’s really fascinating because there's a parallel between that scene and the scene in 5x07 when Uhtred and Brida are fighting and, when she tells him to kill her, he screams at her that they “are bound as one, killing you would be like killing a part of myself”, and Brida and Uhtred were romantically involved.

My point is that it is for this exact reason that Alfred was never able to look at Uhtred and excute him as he was supposed to do so many times, even the only time it very nearly happened (1x07) he left before he could see it, and whenever Uhtred was hit by Leofric during the fight, if you look specifically at Alfred, it almost seems as if he couldn't breathe, so you know there’s a kind of “without you I would be lost and I wouldn’t be myself anymore” for the both of them, and you can see that especially in the one who had to live further when the other actually died: Uhtred.

Uhtred very much always clings onto a few things and people, but the more he loses those he cares for the most, the more he loses himself. S3 is truly the start of Uhtred’s sort of radical change, indeed the man in SKMD is almost nothing like the man in S1, and what made it possible was that season.

In S3 Uhtred faces many losses: first he loses Gisela, so literally the love of his life (she was and I will die on that hill), second his brother Ragnar, then he loses Alfred, and not even a few days after his sister Thyra dies.

Gisela’s death has started Uhtred’s fall, and since he got cursed and was, very understandbly, in so much pain, everything escalated very quickly.

He killed Godwin to defend Gisela’s honour and he was obviously hurt by what he perceived as Alfred’s disinterest in defending Gisela, as he himself in 3x04 complains about in a very hurt way that Alfred “allowed her to be called a whore” (even though Alfred did try to make Godwin stop, but Uhtred simply couldn’t hear it because he was too enraged), therefore he betrays him and then subsequentially feels absolutely so guilty about it that he arrives to the point where Leofric, as the personification of his conscience, lets us know that he believed he deserved to died because of what he did to Alfred. As soon as the first occasion arises (Aethelflaed is in danger) he immediately leaves, which you can see was already on his mind as soon as Brida suggested him destroying Alfred, thus he abandons his brother. He then finds out that Ragnar died and he thinks it’s his fault because he left him (though there could have probably been little he could have done to prevent it even if he stayed there), then he suddenly meets Alfred again and he sees how much he's hated by him, or so Uhtred believes, so he falls in an even worse emotional state than before. After some time, Beocca asks him to meet Alfred and Uhtred himself wonders “what makes you think he would speak with me?”, which just shows how much he truly thought that Alfred despised him, but he goes to meet him anyway and he speaks to him. For the first time since they have met they are honest to each other and Alfred shows him actual trust and even love in a way, but then Alfred dies not even a week after (probably the day after they talked actually), so even if they were finally at peace with each other, Alfred still died and they had no way to enjoy that tranquility.

Now all of this took a very obvious emotional toll on Uhtred and I believe that Alfred is one of the biggest because he knew that he going to die, and yet, because of Skade's curse as Uhtred believed it to be, he wasted those final years they could have had together. That man meant a lot to Uhtred and in the books there's this quote that always gets me:

I stood beside Alfred’s coffin and thought how life slipped by, and how, for nearly all my life, Alfred had been there like a great landmark.

And that’s so terribly true because, compared to all the deaths before, it is important to notice that Alfred was the one who was there the most, more than Gisela and even more than Ragnar himself, since the latter left for Ireland right before Uhtred became Earl Ragnar’s son. Indeed when Alfred dies you can immediately see a change in demanor in Uhtred, which is striking because compared to many other deaths he went through, Uhtred remains silent in face of many things, for example during Alfred’s funeral he's imprisoned but doesn’t say a word, the only time he utters something is to tell Finan to do nothing. S1 Uhtred would have never reacted in such a way.

Still in prison, you can see that he goes near a very dangerous edge when he finds out that Thyra died, and that edge is finally overstepped in 4x03 with Beocca’s death, and it is from this death onwards that Uhtred is a completely different person. The process started with Gisela's death, culminated with Alfred’s and exploded with Beocca’s.

As I said Uhtred always clings to people and Uhtred has always been sort of in denial for Alfred’s death. He always dismissed the actual possibility of him dying, even when he himself noticed the signs, even when Alfred himself told him that he was about to and yet that man was still there like “Skade preys on men's fears, Lord”, says the man who at that time believed every single word she said. The thing is that I believe Uhtred remained in denial even after Alfred died, because yes he was with his God, but there was a part of Alfred that still lived: his dream.

From Alfred's death onwards, Uhtred works both directly and indirectly for the dream of an England, indeed he actually proves his loyalty to that man more after he died than when he was alive, and that has a lot to do with the fact that it was the last connection he had with him, as in a way it was also for Aelswith if you think about it, but also there was the aspect that, before dying, Alfred entrusted it in his hands and, since Uhtred spent the whole of S3 considering himself a traitor and blaming himself for it, if that man shows you one last trust, a trust you have yearned for your whole life, even more with the thing you know is most precious to him, what do you do? You are willing to do anything you can to make sure that that dream happens, to make sure that you can prove your loyalty, to show that you can keep one last oath to him and make it up for the one you broke.

That is painfully obvious in the film.

In the film Uhtred has made Northumbria an unified place, and it is actually the first time the whole of it is under one single king (even if Uhtred doesn’t call himself that), which was what Alfred has wanted all along, because he knew that the main problem would have been that particular kingdom, so with this action Uhtred has paved the way for the upcoming unification of England.

In 3x09 Alfred told him that his last act as king was to make sure that good men held power and that's one of the main things Uhtred was doing. Uhtred has known Alfred for 28 years of his life, he spent countless times with him, so he knew what Alfred would have wanted and every single decision he took in the film was so obviously made with the thought in mind of Alfred's wishes, and indeed Uhtred held the reins until he knew there was someone fitting to rule, a good man, just as his king would have wanted.

One of the most beautiful things to me is that Uhtred was lord of Bebbanburg at the time, so lord of the fortress he has waited his whole life to get back to, and yet he was mostly and more concerned about Alfred’s dream dying rather than the survival of that. Uhtred was also in a situation where he didn’t want to fight anymore, he didn’t even particularly believed he was still a warrior, and yet as soon as that dream was threatened, he didn’t hesitate once. That man was even forbidden to take part of the battle, since it would have been too dangerous for him, but he didn’t trust anyone else to protect Alfred’s dream and thus Uhtred went and died for it.

That man would have never died if he listened to Aethelstan's commands, but he defied them to not betray the little trust Alfred put in him right before he passed.

When he went back to Bebbanburg he didn’t even allow himself to die until he knew that there was an England out there and that Alfred’s lineage was on the throne of it, and during that scene he says that all he wanted was to be honoured in valhalla for “standing by an oath”, which yes can be interpreted as the oath of protecting Aethelstan, but remember that in S3, in Uhtred's mind, he did the most terrible thing of them all by breaking his oath to Alfred. Making England happen was the only way he could have forgiven himself for it, absolutely striking is the moment when the dream is fulfilled and you can how Uhtred is on the verge of tears and I think that has to do with two main reasons: first, he knew that with that Alfred would have finally known and understood how he could have never have betrayed him, and second, Alfred’s work was finished and there was nothing that kept him alive in his mind anymore.

Uhtred died soon after that so, in my mind, he totally met Alfred again at some point. In the show, for Thyra who was in a situation where she still believed in valhalla but was actually a christian, it was accepted the view of being in both places, therefore it is most likely the same for Uhtred, you know, a whole concept of peace rather than an actual place.

Dying for England is the most obvious declaration of love from Uhtred’s part, but if we want to point out actual words, Uhtred in 3x10 says that Alfred was “a man I loved and despised”, and he even calls him “my king”, which is something Uhtred will never do again for anyone. For the other kings he always just refers to them as “our”, therefore he speaks for his people and not for himself, but for Alfred? Oh, that’s a “my”.

For Alfred the thing was different because the man was a christian with so much guilt inside, it would have been way more difficult for him to say out loud that he loved Uhtred.

I do believe though that he did say it in subtext when he told him that “I should have closed my eyes and rattled at Heaven’s gate some time ago, it was the hope of this meeting that has kept me alive”, which is a lot, considering that the man was suffering like hell because of his illness, and yet he held onto life just for the purpose of seeing Uhtred one last time. It is also very interesting that on his deathbed he asked Uhtred “are you here or is it my sickness?”, because it hints at the possibility of Alfred having hallucinatione of Uhtred in the past when he was ill and WHY WOULD YOU EVER SEE SOME MAN WHEN YOU FEEL UNWELL? AND ESPECIALLY WHY ARE YOU NOT EVEN SURPRISED THAT YOUR MIND COULD HAVE CONJURED UHTRED COMING TO YOUR CHAMBERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? There’s only one answer to that:

You are gay for that man and you are in love with him.

They both were.

So anon, the answer to your question is: Yes, I do believe that they had feelings for each other.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!