#because i have nothign else i want to do.

[eyepatchdate]

ok i definitely shouldn't write anymore today. feeling tired. not sure WHAT to do though

[byjovewhataspend]

im so ubelievably disappointed by the cocoon adaptation

it took out 90% of the manga and then switched everything they left over to a mix of transphobia and girl power

its supposed to be like 'these were girls just liek any girls in a slice of life manga youd read today, and they suffered terribly. their own country this this to them. it was horrific. it was sad. it was cruel and there was nothign they could do about it'

and they switched it to

'san is so strong that she gets out because SHE Refuses to give up!'

literally the manga ends on her being taken as a prisoner of war and commenting that they were treated better as prisoners than they were by their own country

the anime is like 'fuck yeah i broke out of my cocoon!' (and didnt seem to realize that the silk moth that IS FREED FROM THEIR COCOON BY THE HUMANS is only alive to continue the cycle of suffering

im in agony

had such STRONG emotional reactions to this manga and well... i had strong emotional reactions to the movie too!! but in the opposite direction!!!

my disappointment is immeasurable

and sadly i cant do anythign about it because this was a very sad fictional accountign of a very real and horrific ww2 atrocity. i cant really make fanfiction about it XD

(THEY DIDNT EVEN INCLUDE THE WHITE SHADOOOWSSSSS T_T because havign her be afraid of men wouldnt be girlpower enough, i guess?? they moved the spell to later in the story and even though they still said something like 'white shadows' the spell instead just turned all the blood into flowers so that the studio wouldnt have to draw anything upsetting. they removed 'corpse storage!' they removed the sweet milk! they removed the artist girl going blind from malnutrition! they showed adults being in the cave with the girls the whole time so they were never alone! the firls didnt starve at all, so no one had to eat sugarcane!! THEY TRAVESTIGATED MAYUS ADAMS APPLE!!!! mayu was so ashamed to have tried to avoid the draft that he tries to kill himself!!!! he doesnt save ANYONE in the story and in fact advocates leaving people to die, when in the manga mayu carried the girl with a shot leg for what looked like DAYS (but mightbe been hours, still an incredibly difficult task when he himself was malnourished!)

but he end of the story San seems to outright hate him!! i litrally thought she was goig to drop him off a cliff!!

im so maddddddddddd

it felt so corporate and sanitized. the girls WERENT weakly sick and scared, they were tough efficient badasses that could handle anything! no things werent that bad either! there was only a SINGLE enemy soldier and he was smaller than her and too scared to shoot her!

im gonna bite my desk

i dont even know what i want here. i mean, obviously i want A FAITHFUL ADAPTATION. i knew theyd change it some, i wasnt expecting the maggots, i was prepared for censored, maybe offscreen gore, but this is a whole different level! why even adapt it?? why not just make a wholly original story about those real life girls??? you really read a manga and went 'that was the saddest most upsetting thing i ever read in my life-- i never want anyone else to read it so ill make a really TRITE anime instead

GOD they even removed the metaphor dream sequence about 'we have been ordered to sweep the beach clean of sand. once the job is done we can go home!' and slowly getting drowned in the sand that was completely CLEAN you couldve shown that in its entirety for the impact! but you just did a normal 'running through the field' thing.

im so mad we transvestigated mayus adams apple.. what are we fuckign doing...

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

go read cocoon it was SO GOOD and im SICK with anger about that anime

[transnightfury]

hello . sorry if this is a strange question but we actually really love how you draw furies and were wonderinf if you have any tips on their mouths??? their weird little mouths. sincerely, an alter who Just realised theyre nightfury and knows nothign else about themself /silly - ❓ // ???

ohhh myyy godddddddd HI NIGHTFURY!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!! fellow nigihtfury oohohhoooh SORRY thats excitienG NIGHT FUURRYYYYYYY

anyway uh. THANK YOU????????? i feel like im still learning alot with how i draw furies and its soooo hard why do they have to be soooo hard to draw. SO it means a lot to me that you guys love how i draw them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. the mouths are one of the hardest parts to me especially as a guy who draws pretty stylized mouths.. AAAAUGH

i cant find any good pictures so this gif i posted earlier will have to do

you can clearly see im still getting the hang of drawing them 😭 but theres kind of like a dip???? i try my hardest to put that in my drawings of them but Oh lord its hard. so ignore every time i havent done that okay..... the mouth also goes further past their eyes and teh eyes r very close to the end of the head which is what threw me off for so long. WHY are their heads so weird omg

um. htats probably terrible of a description bc thats very easy to just see with your own eyes.. i just kind of guess everytime i draw the mouths ????!??

i just kind of stylize it a bit i guess??..i just makei t longer than usual. because it goes across their entire face of course. can you tell i dont knwo what im talking aobut LOL i just look at a lot of references and then try my best to replicate it ? if you wanted tips on how to draw their OPEN mouths you can just kill me becaues that im still figuring out LOLLL

i literally break so many nf design rules wen i draw them so. be free i guess. if you want me to elaborate on anything i totally will i hope this helped im some way though??????????

also you literally just sent me this ask while i was drawing myself and struggling on the mouth too i forgot to mention LMAO

[celestie0]

Hello!! I wanted to ask some advice 😞 I have a fic idea but I've never posted any writing before and its like a very very specific band au and I'm scared no one will care to read it because of how much music context it requires 😭 I really admire your writing so like...what do you suggest...

(Also super excited for next kickoff ! I've never been this invested in a fic)

hii my love!! omg a band au sounds like so much funnn are you kiddinggg i would eat that UPPP. my advice would be to just go ahead n write it!!! it's super nervewracking to share work, especially if you've never shared before, so for the time being you can just write w the idea that no one else will read it except for yourself! that'll help you establish a healthy relationship w your writing & your hobby in general even before you post should you choose to post

as for the specificity n music context, i personally think thats SO FUCKIN RAD!!! i love a story where i can enjoy a romance but also have aspects outside of it that i can learn something new from or take something away from. i have read some pretty incredible fics & books, but the ones that have always had a lasting impact on me are the ones i went into knowing nothign ab a specific something, but then i leave it feeling like i've learned something i wouldn't have ever known before!!

it's a totally valid feeling though, esp in fanfiction where you might think readers want to read ab only their fave characters or specifically romance. i felt this way a lot with including the film major & photography aspect to kickoff, i feared readers would find it boring and would just want to read ab gojo x reader. i think in ch9, gojo only had like 40% of the chapter screentime and didn't even make his first appearance until like 5k words into the chapter, but i'm still really happy w the chapter and the response i got was great too. i see some of my writer mutuals break the norms n experiments w their stories all the time too, and honestly, i think that makes for some of the BEST and most MEMORABLE stories :)

as for fears that people may not see your story, i totally get that. keep in mind, i think the jjk fandom specifically doesn't really have too many long fics, at least compared to what i've seen in other fandoms, n tends to steer towards oneshot content (i could be wrong ab this but it's just what i've noticed! at least on tumblr. long fics always get lots of love on ao3 tho) so don't worry too much if you're not getting as many notes or reblogs etc as some other authors, bc if you choose to post series content, then you'll technically be in a niche category for this specific fandom. BUT i have noticed that the quality of interactions w longer stories is very amazing and totally worth being a part of this writing community for that reason!!

when i first started posting, i really didn't know what to expect since the last time i had a fanfic blog was for like two months when i was 12 on deviantart LOL. and now i'm just extremely blown away n humbled by the support. but that's the thing- you'll never ever know unless you try! again, just write and picture it that you're the only one that's going to read it, so put all that juicy music context in there n really write w that passion in mind!! (i'm assuming you're into music or bands n that's your inspiration? don't be afraid to let that interest show!!) and that's really the only thing you need to get started, after that it's just simply copy pasting n then posting :)

if you do get around to posting or sharing it then feel free to tag me bb!! i'd love to read it n support you. good luck to u n much love!! <33 i hope this helps in anyway

and thank you for looking forward to kickoff :)

ps. in case you want any specific writing advice i have some on my page here (sorry bb i just realized i wasn't sure if you were asking for actual concrete writing advice haha my bad if i misinterpreted)

[yanderefairyangel]

I do think that she can change as a person. F!Alear sockpuppet person I mean. But having people push that they think she cannot change won't help the situation. She probably has trouble changing cause of the pushback she is getting from people. Those non anonymous comments on her fics being examples of people pushing against her and insisting she can't change.

I still want to try and help her since it seems like no one else wants to

Anon, you got the situation completely wrong and it shows

No one is saying she can't change

what we are saying is that SHE DOES NOT WANT to

That's the problem. We all know she can change, anyone can, the issue is that she doesn't want to

Also no, I don't think that's because people "push she cannot change" that she isn't trying, the reason is because she has proven many times again and again she isnt interested in changing because to her, she is in the right, the people criticizing her are in the wrong

Not once did she seemed to actually have reflected on her behavior, heck even when she did her mea culpa admitting that she did steal fanfics, she still tried to justify herself in a "yeha but I still came up first with any way soooo"

We all know she can change, but her attitude and actions make it clear she isn't interested in changing

No one is gonna force her, if she doesn't want to change, then we will just avoid her because that's the only thing we can do, we can't force her to change or to stay the same, it has to be her who decide to make the first step which would actually require her to admit her mistakes and make an apology

Yes some people would probably think it's past the point, but the reason why people are still angry is because she didn't even do this simple act and instead went trippling down

Which again, she already did stuff like that and worse in other fandom she was in, she clearly doesn't want to change

"Those non anonymous comments on her fics being examples of people pushing against her and insisting she can't change."

I checked and... they aren't non anonymous, one of the person commenting is actually trying to reason with them and debunking their whole sob sob woe is me giantically long author note longer than the fic itself, in fact MOST IF NOT ALL of the non anonymous person commenting are providing further context as to what they mean by "I dislike Alearcryst and Lapicryst because people shipped them in a sexist way"

The meaner comments and even those defending her are ...from guest accounts... GUEST

And you know what it reminds me of ? That type I saw her being constantly receiving mean anon, getting worried, chekcing on her to see if everything was alright and if she needed help, only for her to delete her account, pretend to be another person, steal fanfiction and discover that she used to send to herself mean comments to pretend she was being harrassed... so naturally, my brain is wondering i those are actually real people or if she didn't just created those account herself to send herself mean messages

Why ? Because she already did it now trust is broken, I can no longer believe those, especially when most of the non anonymous and no guest account weren't being hateful and only providing further context

(also reading this note especially the Bernadetta and Alcryst part made me genuinely feel sick)

"I still want to try and help her since it seems like no one else wants to"

That's very charitable of you Anon, go ahead, do it and we'll see how that works, if she will not just ignore you like what she did when I tried the first time and then continue to steal fanfics and all that

What you have to understand is that as long as she view herself as the vicitm in this situation she will not change, it doesn't matter how many hands raise to help her, she wont take any as long as she doesn't understand that she needs to change

But she won't because in her eyes she did nothign wrong, she is the victim and all that

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped because they don't view themselves as the problem but as a victim

The best you can do is just leave her alone and I think everyone should just do that now but given how she also mispread informations about people which could actually ruin their reputation, the best you can do is just to avoid her but try to deliver your side of the story whenever she talks about it

[dykevanny]

haz i know absolutely nothign about zeno rpg but ur zeno au has intrigued me and im curious about it,,, i saw smth abt like. meomory loss and being handcuffed together and ik they eat ppl but thats it 😭 explain the au if u want ig bc im interested and i think thye look so silly. also bc u put vanny n will in my brain and they wont leave im shooing them with a boom and they are not moving

OK LET ME GET THE INFODUMP<3

So ummm Zeno au<3 I’m really normal. Allow me to give a brief explanation of what Zeno is first You see, Zeno is a fictional disease sort of thing that makes people cannibals. Specifically an oneset is caused by traumatic events/extreme cases of unrequited love(specifically mostly familial) and the only cure is eating the flesh of someone else with Zeno.(not widely known.) It’s also transmittable through biting like zombies. there’s one specific facility with scientists dedicated to getting to the bottom of how to cure zeno, also housing ‘patients’ (or, people with zeno being used as lab rats). Now onto character lore.

So william and henry were good friends right. Yeah. Considering that they even have a small diner together. Well one day will got zeno (oh no!) and started slowly picking off kids going to the diner. He even accidentally attacked Charlie, who escaped in one piece luckily. Charlie went to the afton household to see if he was doing okay (because will’s like an uncle to her and all! And also what if everyone else got hurt?) only to find will ate them all oops. And yeah same happened to her, but since he transmitted zeno to Charlie he was cured! How convenient! The people in charge of the labs ended up roping him and henry into being scientists for them through shady shady means and well the two aren’t on good terms and avoid each other like the plague. Henry’s still sore over the ‘you ate my fucking daughter’ thing. Luckily he has his assistant/the archivist (tape girl) to keep him company. So Vanessa right! Crazzy I know. Nessa as we know comes from a broken family. In this specific au I’m mixing her backstory with the character who’s place she’s taking (hi kuro) so basically her parents. Neglect her. In favor of her younger sibling because she was born from her mom’s affair and blablabla… she grows up basically taking care of herself. Eventually she develops zeno and starts you know. Killing and eating random girls as you do. When one night she comes home and is confronted by her parents about this!! And well you can guess. What happens to them lol. She gets captured and taken to the zeno facility where she’s specifically studied/talked to by William! They’re funny bc nessa hasn’t had anyone willingly spend so much time around her and be so nice to her. Will … well she’s a specimen to him lol. Since being cured himself zeno has been a subject of interest to him, he’s thrown himself completely into his work (under the guise of feeling soooo guilty for his actions which henry can see right through) and well. He’s realized the consumption of human flesh has something to do with it, since eating Charlie cured him. So he’s been …. Robbing the morgue/killing people when needed to feed vanessa every time they meet. Which, she’s more docile when she’s not hungry so it kind of works but she’s not like cured you know. It has the side affect of her being hungry when it’s time for someone to chat with her though which was funny the one time henry had to go in will’s stead cause he offered her a granola bar and she was like 😐 ew.?? Anyways will has gotten her total trust because he also plays board games with her yay!! He’s the only one not enforcing the whole straightjacket-dog muzzle combo also so she’s like woah !! He sees me as another human unlike these other guys :DD (needless to say zeno patients are not treated very humanely.lol) there was also one time tape girl had to be a substitute for william but nothing of note happened they just kinda chilled and ness threatened her in a backhanded and mildly gay sort of way.as you do.

Anyway yeah so basically Henry’s been experimenting with treatment through amnesia and totally surely unrelated note at the actual start of the story, Will and Nessa wake up in a strange room with no clue who they are or how they got here, and have to navigate the now bloody and corpse-strewn facility while handcuffed together with nothing to guide them except each other and the only clue to their pasts is tampered resumes which effectively switch their backstories!! Nessa is under the impression that she’s the scientist (the whole cannibalism part was left out) and she thinks William is the serial murderer/cannibal. Which was funny cause she read her own resume like wow… I’m kind of a big deal huh :) and then read Will’s like ERM.OKAY… Will didn’t read either of the resumes. Also tape girl gave everyone code names and said code names were swapped on the resumes also! So ‘bonnie’(nessa) and ‘vanny’(will) are just kind of cluelessly walking around like damn this place is really… corpsey:) until henry starts showing up and trying to kill them (he contracted zeno big surprise) and also tape girl (assumed dead) shows up sometimes just to see how things are going. Lots of shenanigans and also murder ensue.

The game also has multiple endings so. sometimes nessa ends up killing william lol. Intestine jumprope…. … ……… Also side note.will found out it’s specifically zeno infected humans that need to be fed to patients to cure them but kinda. Didn’t cure nessa on purpose<3 because she’s sort of entirely dependent on him in this way and she’s kind of his only friend.the same way he’s her only friend……wacky wild!

Tape girl is having a fucking.day. Because henry mentioned he was going to do something but likeee. She didn’t expect to be caught in the crossfires of a HUGE MASS MURDER CANNIBAL EVENT.AS LIKE ONE OF THE 4 PEOPLE STILL ALIVE IN HERE,.. once he chilled out henry explained himself and she agreed to help out (she also decided to distribute some of her recorded notes.just for fun…after the two get separated for the first time ‘vanny’ listens to them and is like woah… i was a patient here⁉️ And bon was my unethical doctor⁉️⁉️ which is funny) but like. She is the only one NOT infected in here and would like to keep it that way so she’s having quite the time. Seeing vanessa walking around unrestrained keeps jumpscaring her LOL. Once ness’s zeno symptoms start returning well ofc will as the only one she’d encountered here who she cares about is the first target but tape girl nearly gets chomped too lol.

Zeno has an interesting affect on the subjects mood which is funny. Basically when an oneset happens and the person with zeno is running around eating people they’re in a crazed manic state which. Is really fun.will and nessa are wandering around handcufffed and he’s like uhh bonnie you okay cause her facial expressions.well they went from the example on the left to the one on the right.

It’s funny bc. The memory erasure actually technically did work… her symptoms only started returning bc she got bit LOL

Pre-the amnesia incident the other three’s interactions with vanessa were pretty.limited. Considering she’s theeee most dangerous patient. Will talks to her for like an hour daily but Henry only really knows her as ‘william’s mutt’ (he was especially not a fan when he found out will had been FEEDING HER HUMAN FLESH.) and tape girl is afraid of her but also. Kind of endeared from their two in person interactions. The second one in which vanessa tried to convince her to let her cannibalize her but hey she was very polite about it..!! Henry and tape girl are both shocked and stunned that she’s actually pretty chill when she’s not insane and eating people.

TL;DR

^these fuckheads are almost all cannibals and beating each other up forever

[darkhorse-javert]

Flufftober Day 5; X +1

I might write a turn-about situation for this prompt, as another idea is nagging, but for now have a Modern AU of Sam and Andrew, and a looming dinner. @flufftober

She slipped out of into the Station car-park, into the green park behind i, only to be confronted with a heap of person on her favourite perching wall.

"Andrew Foyle, what are you doing here, is something wrong?" She found herself shifting her weight back towards the gate. Should I get Mr Foyle.

He lifted his head "Oh, hullo Sam." A heavy sigh "Nothing's wrong, unless trying to work out how to get out of a Mess Dress dinner counts."

"Mess Dress dinner?" RAF things then.

"All the Brass and braid-trimmed, will be there, and particuarly prominent pilots, Group is showing us off to them."

"Isn't that a god thing, that you're being reconised by the upper ranks." Or looking at you for promotion maybe, I wouldn't know how the RAF works

he sighs with hs whole body, sagging "Its a Plus 1 Do." He begins to count off "WingCo's bringing his wife, Squadi's girlfriend is coming down specially to be there - I haven't even met her yet. Rex has even coaxed Colin in to going with him, Douglas has Heather..." He looked at her, face open, bleak, sad, "And then there's me sitting in, looking like a right Noddy-no-mates by comparison."

In the scheme of things, she saw day to day with the police it was small, tiny really- but to stand out so in a roup, especially in front of those you respected, wouldn't be nice.

She tipped her head, considering "Violet won't go with you? although she hadn't heard mention of Violet for a while, but Mr Foyle barely talked about Andrew anyway.

Andrew's mouth twisted in a wry smile, "Violet finished with me when Rex and Connie broke up, accused me of being clearly on Rex's side - when I was really just trying to stay out of it all."

She did remember a lot of gossip, almost a year ago, about a full-on fracas in one of the bars they'd been called to, which had involved the RAF boys and a confronation with their ladies. Gossip about which had always gone suspiciously silent as soon as Mr Fole was even thought to be nearby.

Andrew carried on in a dull tone "I'd rather get out of it, except I can't think of a way that won't also ground me for quite a while, or be too obvious. That's worse, nearly, because then everyone would know I tried to get out of it."

"You'd miss a good dinner, too- surely it will be good if they're feeding the top brass."

Another dry twich of the mouth into a sour smile, then Andrew seemed to give her another look. "Sam- " he said slowly as if measuring each word, "Would you come with me, to the dinner?" He hurried on, before she could quite register just what he was saying "Just as a friend, nothign else."

She looked at him, raised an eyebrow "A friend, or a cover-up?"

"Both, if you want, if it makes you feel better about it, play at being undercover. And you'd get a good dinner out of it"

"Play?" she pretended shock, all the while notingthe facts he'd offered, So perhaps Mr Foyle has been coaxed to say more about me than I ever thought he would.

Now Andrew was looking brighter all over, hopeful, but something struck her, "I'm not sure I've got anything smart enough to wear for it... Andrew, is Mess Dress equal to White-tie or Black-tie?"

(A/N It appears to be either)

[wild-magic-anon]

Sad boy hours rant incoming my mind isnt exactly in the right place atm </3

Ignore this yall. Or dont. Idgaf

Why do i even try? All i do is always in vain and i always just end up feeling guilty for one reason or another. I wish i could wipe my entire existence off of tumglr and just start fresh.

And you know, i could. I have the power. I could delete all of my accounts and make a new ones. I could be someone else entirely. I have thought about doing it many times in the past but dint because i felt bad and dint wanna hurt my friends feeling but.. i dont think i actually care anymore. I dont care about anything. I stopped caring. They are my friends ofcourse, so i do care about them and their feeling to a high degree but. I doesnt seem like i care enough to care what they would do afther i delete all of traces on the internet. I dint cause too much of an impact on here anyways, i am nothing but a grain of sand in the desert of time, ready to be blown away in a matter of seconds. I dont deserve to be here anymore. All of the happy memories dont seem happy anymore. I want to forget all of it. Forget the moments. Forget them. I myself want to be forgetten..... but i cant. Its not as simple as that, oh no no... its already been well over a year now... though i dont think i have the mental energy to make it fsr into spring without deleting one of my blogs.

I still care, truely i do. If i dint i wouldve already been gone, wiped. Though i still care enkugh to not do any of that. Though if i do, there is not thst much stopping me, is there? All i have to do is delete my accounts, make new ones, leave the dc servers im in and ghost all of my friends... not many know my tiktok, and i can block them on there anyways. In such little time i can delete my entire presence.

.....

I probably wont be as active. Or maybe i will. Maybe i will miss you guys. Maybe i will not.... all of this is nothign but a small moment in time, it wont cause much of an impact if i disapear anyways.

[solardick]

Since i have no onw to talk to and theres nothign there except bs. I have nothing but bs to say in reply. Making it awefully hard to quit this dumb safety commity. Spend a hours teying to find him but oh well. Left early. Too depressed to function.

I do t want to be alive anymore. Fuck you guys.

Like anyone has ever cared about my health and safety. In 40 years still

Soemthign i havent experienced.

And tou buntch of socioaths can contonie to stalk me like the fuck tards you are.

Ill continue doing my purpose of feeding evil cause i aint allowed to do the opposite.

Hungry y’all

Are. Jesus. Save you.

I could save y’all from a burning building and youd still find excuse to harm me.

Understanding “cultural” development through the generations is highlighted, astrologically speaking by sharp pluto transits through the signs. Pluto doesnt work alone. As time and knowledge is based on from a specific time and anything preceeding or “forceeding” it is considered a different age. Pluto transits are simultaneously also uranus transits. A back amd forth relationship. Everytime nuclear is thrown forward. The resultant relationship is an uranian response. For prime obvious example comes

From the nineties punk rock “fad”

Of those born young enough to have grown up during that time. The pluto in libra gen. Destroying the relationship norm stemming from the loony tooned addles minds of the boomers. The collective spychosis breeding down into the social violence of individualism.

The problem with the urainan response is destructive and poisonous to the pre established. But the effect isn’t instantaneous it lingers on sight and slowly drains the constitution of the particular state even though it may be shocking or aweing at first.

This time period is chosen because pluto is libra is the cultural pluto return. And the uranian response is arian. Even though uranous was far removed from aries during this time it is still arian. As the cultural uranus return is in Aries.

Fast forward to the 80s when the urinian/arien response was in taurus. North america with the aids and gay epidemic and into the southern austrailian hemisphere the legalization of prostitution. Give or take. Im iffy on foreign time line.

That latest dose those fucken losrrs of humanity gave me is now in full wffect. Thats what 14 steaight hours now of feeling my rectum. Atleast i got a few minutes of sonething smart before going back inti a constant state of suicidal longing.

Now do you fucjennretards do best and laugh at suicide.

This is how i grew up mother fuckers. Like ita magically going to stop with the exact same trwatemt. I got as a child.

And every-time you tried speaking to your mother they end up beating on you. Fun fun.

Not even a loving woman can fix me now. And i was never lookign for a girlfriend or a fuck. But that never stopped me from being harrased or threatened for “hello”.

And if enough people lie and bend the truth to their own means. Then i guess im guilty. People have always been fucken retarded to me. And have spoken for me. And i dont like the spoken word. Its broken for me.

For example. What what are fucktards thinking right now? Cant even speak anonymously.

Wonder hiw many more years of my lofe these fucken retarded cocksuckers are going to steal from me before i kill myself.

Pay for what? How else to talk to strangers? Alla roind you when none of them are forthcoming about how evil and retarded they are?

They keep raping me and im

Not surviving much longer.

Thats over a decade of prepping me for this and 30 uears of treating me like trash. Comes a toll.

And i was the type of guy that would nurse injured birds back to health. Fun fun.

Its not like im going to reproduce or produce anything that will surpass my time. Being alive is essentially pointless

A nurtered fucken dog being beaten by its owners for barking at assholes to protect my den. Which is on a farm serrounded by a bunch of chicken fuckers.

The king of analogies. And the fountain of youth in Asia.

Whats next retards. Legalizing opium and selling wiskey in school cafeterias. Oh my bad first its legalizing meth rhen opium.

Ugh. I ri t want to go

To

Work and be fucked with by every single

Person there.

Nust like in elementsry school singled out and fucked with. For being english.

Singled out and fucked with for being gay. Songled out and fucked with for being straight. Si gled out and fucked with if a smoked. Any thing i e evere said gets passed over by someone else. No one ever tried listening without putting me down or ignoring the idea. If they could have theirs. I eas bever allowed to habe life if im serrounded by anyone.

Maight as well be the villain so i can get singked out and fucked with on the side of good isntead stupid retarded bs. Astrologically im negatively aspected to the bible and the country. Explains why the whole world has always treated me like trash since the day i was born

People have been fucken with me long before i ever didnanything to deserve it. Somall jusyification. Is invalid.

Cant even game connected to a public forum by myself without being fucked with. Whichbis 90% of all vedio games. This game is only single olayer but if you dotn have internet you cant play it. Ugh.

And the only way i can learn soe

Thing is if im explaining it to someone. Even if its noone. And i grt fucked with.

They pull out this intelligence complex building thing. Cause you know they maneuvering you by outwitting you even though your not even trying to.

My lifesxpurpose is to be fucked into a state of duicide and death so i can conpmete ny families legacy.

That was the prettiest face ive ever seen. Woke me up for a few minutes. But back to heing a zombie.

Got 42 hours of tv to watch. Before i go back to work.

And the continuation of years of surviving and fighting for my life. Cause they wont stop attacking me.

Nit like i can hild an errction anymore and if i do orgasm its like in 15 secs.

Get harrased. Sexually and socially. Then get called a homophobe and then raped minyh after month. In another two or so itll be an entire year. Prior to that being bwaten by my family, bt every homo i came acrossed, drug addicts, degenerates, drug dealers and feminists. Year after year. 26 years later we are here. As i get raped and deal with my captors with this stockholm syndrome.

Without a singel significant positive memory in 40 years time. First one is a trauma.

And everytime i start beuikding something inlove about mysle fthe world takes it away or rubs the opposite in my face.

While i stand back and witness these peice of shit, fag bashing, bigoted, drunk driving racist cocksuckers getting an easy life devoid of any karma.

Justins now playing stupid. Like i said, an evil idiot. Then he hires a supermodel to come blow me everyday. Rhen barrie come sout starts calling him an idiot too. Cause thats waht sociopaths stalkers do. He’s acyually one of the best actors ive seen so far. The. He come sout with the nail

Polish on his nails abd starts going off about being a queer and taking iy up the ass everyday and that his wife is just a cover.

What?

Some one kill me allready. 40 years of being fucked with is too mich.

Itll be fun watching him playa queer.

Get your son to make me write. I have to wear a dress too maybe he’ll get sick and die without modern medicine. Fuck off already. The give me the gay ass cocksuckers crooked smile when theres another reference made to me being raped. You remain oositive when everyone your serrounded by goes out of their way and acts to fuck your life. How many decades can you last before you result to this?

Or maybe ill just gove you more Tylenol again the next time you have a head ache. And you can continue making the warehouse a mess to fuck everyome down.

Card letter Тт unlike the crucifix. It isnt a sword stuck in the ground.

So much for your starwars tattoos. Eh? No jedi here. More of a darth father taking off his dick shaped helmet.

Or like all this seerounding me sith idiots, druggers and femmes. Forcing me onto the desired location like if it’s my own idea. Fuck off.

So lets keep getting punished for being provoked like thats thr point of cover over.

What came first. The Komodo dragon or the komodo dragon?

Thoigh ideas are very slowly forming for card letter Тт. Centering around a single pillar.

Koreans sure are ugly. But have produced the most moving show.

Indont like 12 hr shifts. Couple days on couple days off. Couple days on coupel days off. Ugh. I dont think ill be able to get back i to the esoteric work. Theres no lasting consistentcy or builf up, to process information. And down time diesnt feel like down time.

Rha ks for reminding me the wntire fucken shop is fucken with me alonf with half the fucken town. Like i needed it satans cockehores. Hey look another dya oof work. Awesome.

I hope you all sleep well and get fucked in uour nightmares. Jeuss loves you because i dont. And atleast i womt be serrounded by proud dayrapers.

What do i care its nit like the world isnt ever foing to stop fucken with me. It has been like this since my forst memory. Thisnisnt even the real

World. Some simulayion torture chamber i habe no choice in being born in. Which goes out of the way to make you sick then hurt you for it. Same shit another decade. Would you tell a jew to

Go get therapy while hes being marched into

A gaschamber? Stop reacting be respectful and get tortured to

Death.

Lloks like ill be on welfare soon. And dead ssoon after. What did you drug my milk this time.

Guess im

Not fetting a car again this year. Knwoing at any moment i could be out of work and unable to get another one.

Nope the ground is moving im not going to work.

Hey look its another marvel/superheroe show that depicts the russians as criminals.

Other countries do the same thing. The war on disinformtaion eh, am i patient xero.

[o5-10]

Excerpt Of Chat Log Between O5-10 and Gamma Captain Bobby Liu

O5-10: She won't die if you either surrender like a normal person, or leave us to our shelter.

O5-10: That isn't me threatening her. It's a fact. You have the ability to make this simple. If she gets hurt, it will be your men, and ultimately you, behind the trigger.

Liu: i

Liu: i will do what has to be done.

O5-10: And what "has to" be done, Liu? If you are being in any way honest, what "has to" be done? You won't be alive to face the consequences either way. Won't be alive to face the disappointment of your peers, nor alive to feel the crushing weight of guilt. It's a choice that has no consequences for you. So what "has to" happen, according to Bobby Liu.

Liu: you and i will both hv to see when hte time comes. take your fair warnign, ten.

O5-10: And you call us cowardly, and amoral. Amazing.

O5-10: You can't even come out and say it, can you?

O5-10: I can say it for you, if you'd like. All your apologies, your claims to want to "make it right" are flimsy lies. Maybe you wanted to die with a slightly clearer conscience, maybe you wanted to die with one person not despising you, who knows. It's entirely selfish either way. You're not getting a clearer conscience. You're going to die knowing exactly what you are, if I have any say in it. You are a cowardly liar who can't even own up to the fact that he, if anything you have said was honest, went against what he knew was morally correct for a goal that, in the end, failed. You're a failure, and even in your death you manage to disappoint everyone, even yourself. You never cared about Nina Newport. You only care about yourself.

O5-10: Your begging for your Alphas, too. If you do what we know you will, do you really think that won't affect the response? Of course, you know. You know that the agreement was your surrender. You break your end, then we have absolutely no reason to uphold ours. You want to be a martyr so badly that you drag every single value you claim you have into the mud, just so you can be remembered as some kind of hero. You won't be, by either side. You'll be remembered as a traitor by both sides. You'll be remembered as someone who brought unspeakable retribution down on everyone, because you decided, in your last moments, to enrage an already kicked hornets' nest. You could easily benefit every single person you claim to care about by coming peacefully. Instead, you have intention of not doing that, for no gain. It would be so damn simple. The reason you can't even spit it out, that you plan to do what we braced for, that's because you know I'm right. You know this is just you being a selfish, pitiful worm. You know it, and you don't want to own up to the fact that you're doing the wrong thing, for everyone.

Liu: regardless of everythign, i know what i am, and nothign will make me better or worse than what that is.

Liu: anyway, no time to worry bout that nw.

O5-10: You could come peacefully, that would be one thing to make you better. To ensure what you claim you want. But you're just going to slam your hands over your ears to the bitter end. God, I want to see you burn.

O5-10: I thought I would never actually, and in all sincerity, undeniably want someone dead and feel no conflict over it. Yet you managed.

O5-10: I'm actually *glad* he's the one doing it. That's something else I never thought I would feel.

[mellow-worlds]

I'm sad. L just left the house. I'll see him tomorrow, but then on Monday he'll go away for like 3 days with his friends. Tonight I'm on another birthday party.

Yesterday, at the birthday party we were together, he kissed M. Right in front of me. A peck. And it was funny and stuff but he just did it like that and idk it was funny and we made jokes, but today I almost cried. He was kissing me and I tohught how he'd "rather" kiss M than me (which he literally doesn't) and I almost cried, like my lower lip started shaking but he didn't realize. I smiled at him when he pulled away. He'll be away for the three days with P and M, of course. It shouldn't concern me because they've always been like that, and before we got together but after we'd aready kissed, he kissed P on Silvester as well. Idk. It shouldn't concern me but it does bother me. It shouldn't bother me. There's nothign taht could bother me about it but like idk.

I've been really sad recently, even when I've been with him. I'm really sad rn. I'm really, really sad. I don't even know why. I want him to hit me and choke me again and spit on me. I want to maximize my misery. I want him to treat me the way I should be treated. I've constantly been having butterflies.

Yesterday he got really mad at me because I denied that M called me pretty, after the party. He was really, really mad. He was sweet though. He apologized. He treats me too well. He got mad because I just "shut it out" or "ignore" it when people call me pretty. Some people at that party really did. He said he thought it'd be nice for me to hear it from so many people, and that my attitude made him sad. I could've cried. I've been constantly on the verge of tears for the past couple of days. Today I apologized that I made him so mad yesterday and then he got a little mad again, saying I shouldn't apologize.

Yesterday he asked me if we should walk the rest home which would've been like half an hour when we were in the subway. I said we could do it, and then he said I shouldn't agree to his stupid ideas. I need to stand my ground and not agree to anything he says etc. Today we were playing around and kissing and I won't go into detail but he said "[thing] doesn't even make sense, but you don't even question it" and then called me a less harsh version of dumb. And it's like... yeah. I am pretty stupid. I agree to everything he says because I don't care whether I feel like it or not. I don't know. I don't think a lot. I'm pretty stupid. What if he actually wanted to walk? I would've gone with him.

Today I gave him a [redacted] and he was pretty rough to me but afterwards he apologized and said that wasn't a good thing to do. He said he doesn't want to just use me. I said he wasn't, beacuse I wanted it and I like to please him. He said "hm fair" but didn't completely agree with me. He asked me if it wasn't awful for me, that feeling, and I said no. It was but like- who cares? It's just momentarily and he gains pleasure from it and like I want him to hurt me and I want him to hit me and shove me around and throw me off a cliff and throw me in the trash. I say things so he won't have to feel bad about treating me the way I deserve to be treated. Because it's not somemthing someone wants to say, "you deserve to like literally bleed to death and hurt like hell" even though it's true.

After this instance I clung to him because I don't want to do anything but lay by his side i don't want to do anything else ever. I don't care about anything anymore. I want to feel his body close to mine. I don't want to kiss him or anything I just want to be held and feel his warmth. He kept pulling away saying we should go back up to my mothers bday party and I kept saying no and we kept hugging. Idk eventually we were standing and he said to me that I look so plaintive. And he asked me why and such and then idk i said nothing and he kept saying you look like youre suffering and he then eventually asked me if I was suffering. :( my thoughts went to yes, I suffer all the time, but I didn't say anything and he immediately said sum like "why do I say such stupid things" and he apologized and maybe that was not a normal thing to ask me but like... it hurt? I want to hurt? He should make fun of me. I don't know. He should pity me, but ultimately not care about me. It's what he shows to me. It's so painful. I suffer so much. In my head. He's really sweet though. He always apologises. He's so nice to me. I told him that yesterday and he said he should be much nicer but like.... Idk. It's the contrast that hurts so much, too. It's like he tries to love me, but ultimately this world holds no love for me. I am utterly despicable. No one can love me. I am nothing. You can't love nothing.

He said today he doesn't want to feel like he's manipulating me. That's the thing. I don't think he understands how my mind works. I hate myself. He doesn't manipulate me. I agree with everything he says because I'd agree with anyone. I hate myself. He doesn't manipulate me. He dosen't just use you. I want to be used and thrown away.

I keep imagining that I'll kill myself. Stuff like that he breaks up with me because he realises how messed up in the head I am and that I shouldn't be loved, and that I then kill myself. I want to suffer, you hear? I've been suffering my whole life. I've starved myself and I've cut myself and I just cant allow myself not wanting to do those things. I think about cutting and starving myself all the time. I should starve. I've always been suffering. I have fantasies about killing myself. He says he has fantasies about like things he could say to me or wtv and I have fantasies about killing myself. And I need a reason to do so so badly that I imagine him breaking up with me just so I can kill myself. I wouldn't kms while we were dating. He doesn't have anything to do with that.

I said I love you so much today. He said "I think I love you, too" in response and we were giggly and we kissed and cuddled but it hurt. Hearnig him say "I think". :( he later said it without I think but idk. Ofc I'd focus on the bad parts because I love to suffer. I get butterflies in my stomach from it, goddammit. I have been having butterflies incessantly. I feel like I'm dying. My god. I miss him and I love him. It's all in my head. He really loves me. I love him. I should get better and I don't want to and I don't know how I could want that and what to do. I don't know. I'm scared. Maybe I should talk to him about it.

Today he also asked me why I looked so sad and I said that there's nothing I could tell him and he said oh so you're just a silly goose? No sadness or wtv sum like that, jokingly. idk. yes. I should try to be like that. I should be like that. Idk. Idk how not to be sad. I'm so sad rn and I don't even know why. I don't have a direct reason, do I? He loves me. My boyfriend loves me. My boyfriend loves me. I love him. So much. I should rty to get better for him even if I don't want to. I'm suffering. I want him to make me suffer. I haven't been so continuously sad for a long time. I'm so sad. I don't feel like going to the birthday tonight. I want to die.

[seven-cents]

dont like how the matryoshka logs were taking up so much space so I'm gonna copy and paste them here so can get rid of them

Day 1

Dear Devlog,

Today is day one of my long and mentally torturous journey. I am writing to you at the hour of 11am.

I have made minimal progress today. But important progress. Starting with setting up my normal preferences, running tests to get the ratio. Lame stuff, yknow.

I went on to outline many of the scenes and character sprites, there are quite a bit of them so it was arduous but thankfully my best friend, quentin, was here to help me out with a hip new video. His help will be invaluable throughout this timeframe. I love you quentinreviews.

I feel pretty good about how its going, and I'm sure as long as I don't sleep or do anything else for even a moment I'll be done in time. Easy peasy for me, the laziest most adhd person on the planet.

Word count: 0

I can only hope I can make it at least playable before the madness sets in.

Day 2

The madness has set in.

Dear devlog, I feel like a clown and not in the hot way. I got minimal sleep due to me being woken up at an unreasonable hour.

This morning I heard a crackling in my walls, like electricity behind my outlet. This was super concerning since I had a bunch of flammable shit near it. I immediately hopped up and started rearranging my entire room, moving all my canvasses and paint in boxes and whatnot, and in my cleaning I found what looked to be several tiny beads. The crackling had been a necklace I had on a shelf snapping and all the beads falling on the ground. Now I have to unpack everything.

I did however did get quite a bit done, though, 3000 words worth. Most of it is garbage that I'm going to rewrite like ten times but it's something.

Word count: 3,295

Day 3

Dear devlog,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

everything is a sick cesspit of misery

I got some sprites done tho. By done I mean they're NOTHIGN, but I will fix them later.

demon

Day 4

Didn't get any sleep last night! Had to do stuff today!

Yet, I'm still keeping up pace. With the power of a gallon of chocolate milk a day. HAHAHA.

now get in the hole cunt

Day 5

Dear Devlog,

I've grown to dislike these horrible paints. I have to use craft paints because they're not shiny. They're fifty cents each so I've bought maybe fifty of them. They're all brown and green. All I dream of is brown and green. I hate brown and green.

Who knows what I'll do with them when I finish.

Day 6

Gonna be hard times for the next few days. Won't be able to paint as much but hopefully I can make up for that in writing. Which is terrible because I only have a million paintings to do. Regardless, I can program and write at the same time. nbd.

Words: 4851

Day 7

I didn't update last night because I was so tired! and I had to take time out of my schedule for my weeping break.

The thing about this painting is, I hate it. Like it's way too late to change the colors or pretty much anything without losing a day. That's the problem with doing traditional art, I can't make tweaks without losing so much time. I'm on day 8, that's a little over a fourth way through and I'm looking at my checklist and I'm gonna throw up. But also it's okay. I'm moving things around to keep the important stuff first so some things may be cut.

Day 8

The name is starting to piss me off. I keep having to look it up to remember how to spell it.

I painted rats today.

Day 9

Wahoo! i finshed some painting. Some of the easiest but good enough. I want to get all of them through with by the twentieth so I can make alternates and then digitally edit them in the next ten days. I think I can have a scene and the menu done by today but who knows.

Day 10

couldnt do anything got too sick from pizza cookie

Day 11

look at this fucking bitch what the fuck is his problem

Day 12

I dont think i wanna paint ever again.

its like on every surface of my room. why am i like this why did i wanna do this. oh yeah, its my drive to be the best in the universe.

Day 13

People are gonna make fun of me for making a character look like a vagina. I KNOW I KNOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A VAGINA. you dont understand yuri.

Day 14

I've gotten most of the backgrounds almost done. I've got the sprites almost done. Well I don't have the hallway even remotely done because I just sort of forgot it was there. CGs need to be done. I've only got the sketches.

Day 15

ive watched all of adventure time painting these. now i need a new show.

Day 16

Yeah baby parts of the gui are done. Rats are done. That's all I really need right?

Day 17

behold. all my goddam sprites. there's at least fifteen. almost complete bitches.

Day 18

Have you ever seen a prettier textbox? No you haven't.

Day 19

I don't waaaaaaanna paint. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna have to be like okay what colors should I use here if I fuck up I have to do everything over again. How many times do I have to paint the same thing. I hate painting AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day 20

My goal was around 10000 words I'm like 9379 so like I'm almost there baby but it will probably be shorter. I might cut some things.

Day 21

8 days left. I have so much to do in eight days.

Day 22

ITS DAY 22

I stopped updating after this because i lost my cunting mind.

[girlucifer]

"i like the sea; we understand one another.

it is always yearning, sighing for something it cannot have; and so am i." - greta garbo

solomon + one-sided love with a gender-neutral human mc / lesson 36-41 spoilers / word count: 1k

*so in lesson 41, we see that mc remains relatively close to solomon while he teaches them how to control their magic. so maybe, during those years, we see solomon grow to fall in love with the human, but he knows nothing can really come of it, as their heart lies within another's grasp [one of the brothers]

a cruel smile, a mocking touch... they set a cup of coffee in front of him and he accepted it with a small smile- no words were exchanged, the only sounds being the birds singing outside. the two had grown so close, so comfortable together in the small apartment atop the bookstore in new england- naturally, the two had to spend every opportunity they had together to hone in the human's newly acquired magical powers- it was only three years ago when solomon's apprentice had almost died from their own powers seeming to claw its way out, manifesting into self-destruction that would've very likely killed them had they not gotten help from angels and demons alike. seeing the destitution brought upon the human's out-of-control intrinsic abilities, solomon knew he must do everything he can to protect not just the human, but all the three realms. once the two returned back to their world, that strange, protective, overwhelming feeling had washed over him- he remembers taking the human's hand, asking them, begging them, "escape away with me- normal life is far too mundane for the two of us. i promise a grand adventure- if you trust me." after all, the world was different now with the two of them privy to the most well-kept secrets of the entire universe: the worlds of angels, demons and humans alike, all threaded and woven together like a spider's web- the two were inexplicably linked through their shared experiences. and it wasn't even a week later that the two were in his small '04 sedan, driving north with nothing but a small luggage of necessities and the clothes on their backs.

solomon had dozens of places to crash, scattered all across the globe- he'd hop around whenever his work took him overseas- but his favorite was always the one up in north america. and money was never an issue- for a sorcerer, luxury was something natural, simple and easy- he can conjure up really anything he wants- the latest designer clothes, the best interior decorations, michelin-star cooking, first-edition books, classic films... anything material, he had it. it was, rather, the boring, the basic, the unremarkable that he longed for- loosening your tie after a long day at the office, or crying at the end of some cheesy romance movie when the two leads find each other's arms once again, or drinking that perfect cup of coffee your lover had made, who knows exactly how you like it. it was such a silly concept- how after all this time, centuries and centuries living on this earth, having done every possible thing under the sun- he had yet to fill the void in his soul that seemed to ache for another's touch.

when the two had moved in together, their relationship had started to shift- he had always been on friendly terms with the human, ever since the two met down in the devildom all those years ago. but now, he was privy to everything about them- the songs they sang in the shower, the tunes they used as their alarm, how they liked their eggs- such simple, simple things... yet every little newfound fact he learned about them, he memorized, like the little inkspells written upon his ancient tomes of sorcery. and then there it was- after having to spend day and night with them, teaching and shaping them up to be a sorcerer of his magnitude, he had fallen completely and wholly in love.

oh, how they'd smile at him, such a cruel smile- they knew, surely they knew how his heart wrenched every time they touched- it wasn't enough, it never was. he wanted to kiss their neck and explore every crevice of their body, but fear gripped his heart every time the room quieted and their eyes found his own, their fingers seeming to inch closer... so instead, he would watch the human prepare breakfast for the two- the birds chirping, the flowers blooming. such a homely scene; he'd sit in the small kitchenette, staring at the small of their back as they move around, grabbing spices and cutting herbs, the smell of exotic destinations making way into the small room. then, the human would set down two plates, and they'd eat. it was as simple as that. once, he had commented that they had seemed like an old married couple, to which the other laughed with a sparkle in their eye, "yes, i suppose so." then he wanted to add on: well, why not? why couldn't we be an old married couple, decades and decades into our marriage, yet we still retain such a lively youthful love? like how you make me breakfast every morning, and how i read to you every night, and how we go on walks through the park, how we feed the ducks there with the bread you baked with the ingredients i bought? why not indulge ourselves in this little fantasy? we may be soulmates, or we may be dying, maybe the world will end tomorrow and us with it. but right now, we're here, and i'm holding the coffee you made and you're watching me lose myself in the aroma. we're here, and maybe nothing else really matters, except the way you called this our home, our home, because you somehow knew i wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing you aren't under the same roof as me, because you knew that after the worst day of my life, i would want to come home to your shoes by the door, your smile greeting me when i walk in. why not, why not just sit here and pretend we are in love, because it wouldn't really be pretending, or rather- i wish it wouldn't be pretending. i wish you were mine, and i were yours- but your heart lies within someone else's hands, doesn't it? with his red gaze and black heart, his wicked smile and bitter taste, like apples to the sinner.

but of course, he never said any of this, because he knew better. instead, he took a sip of coffee, the taste bitter.

[leviathans-watching]

CHHW - 02

intro post/m.list | wc: 1.5k | next

a/n: i think im just gonna throw this up here when i have time/nothign else to post and then as i post when it catches up to ao3. ofc if you're impatient here's the ao3 link lol

get added to the taglist

Trailing your finger along the spines of the books in front of you, you methodically search for the one you’re looking for. So lost in your perusing, you don’t notice that someone else has entered the library until they cough, frightfully close behind you. Gasping, you whirl around, hand instinctively darting to the small dagger tucked into your skirt pockets. The inclusion of pockets had been suggested long ago by one of your stableboys and many times you’ve sent him thoughts of thanks because of it.

 “I apologize,” Lord Satan says, holding out a placating hand. “I did not intend to startle you.” 

“Don’t trouble yourself over it,” you reply, giving him a smile. “I was lost in thought. Was there something you needed?” 

Lord Satan’s compelling green eyes flick from you to the books behind you. “I noticed that you’ve been looking for a book for some time. I’m more than willing to provide assistance if you need any.” 

“Oh, would you?” you ask excitedly. “I’m still getting used to the organizational system here. And if anyone knows where it’s located, it’s probably you.” 

“You flatter me.” Lord Satan tilts his head slightly. “Now, what title are you looking for?” 

“It’s titled Grimorium Verium. Are you familiar with it?” 

“I am,” Lord Satan replies, lips pursing slightly. “My question is, what do you need with it? A grimoire on Black Magic isn’t exactly light reading.” 

Raising your eyebrows, you click your tongue at the lord. “Passing judgment on others’ reading habits? Interesting choice, Lord Satan. Why, just the other day I saw you with a copy of Heptameron.” 

Lord Satan stiffens slightly, perhaps uncomfortable with the fact that you had seen him. He hadn’t exactly been in a well-traveled place at the time and you wondered if Lord Simeon knew he was studying up on angel magic, and if he didn’t, what he would think if he did know. 

“And when, pray tell, did you see me with that?” 

You wink, pressing a finger to your lips. “Ah ah, some secrets are still mine. Anyway, I want it because it was recommended to me back in the human realm but since it’s so heavily restricted there I haven’t been able to get my hands on it. I had been hoping the Devildom has less of a ban on books, but perhaps I was mistaken?” 

“No,” Lord Satan says after a moment. “You weren’t. I’m just unused to humans searching for dark matter. If you follow me I can show you where it is.” 

“That would be delightful,” you say, accepting the arm he offers you. “And while we’re here, if you’d be so kind as to share any recommendations with me I would be immensely grateful.” 

“Topic preferences?” Lord Satan asks as he walks you through the towering shelves and displays. 

“None,” you reply. “I’m sure I’ll enjoy whatever you found worth reading.” 

*

You leave the library with a copy of Grimorium Verum, along with a few other books handpicked for you by the Avatar of Wrath. They were thick, with small text, and Lord Satan had warned you some weren’t translated to English, but you had accepted them anyway. The RAD library is a veritable treasure trove of information and you planned to wring everything you could out of it in the year that you had. It would be foolish not to.  

On your way to the House of Lamentation, you see two familiar figures on the street, weaving in between the carriages and carts. 

“Hello,” you call, waving them down. Lord Simeon and Sir Solomon were becoming more and more familiar to you, and you’ve found yourself enjoying their presence as you get to know them better. “Lovely afternoon, is it not?” 

“Hello, Lady F/N,” Sir Solomon greets warmly. “It is. Were you running errands?”

“Oh, no,” you say with a laugh, lifting the pile of books in your arms. “I was merely at the library. Lord Satan suggested some books for me so I’m excited to read them.” 

Lord Simeon examines the books in your grasp, a small furrow appearing between his brows. “Did you say Lord Satan suggested them?” 

“Yes,” you reply. “He was kind enough to recommend them to me when I asked. Is something the matter?” 

Lord Simeon starts, looking up at you hastily. “No, it’s just…” 

“Just?” you prompt after a moment, wondering if he too was going to criticize your choice in literature. Lord Simeon turns to Sir Solomon for a brief moment, who, you note, looks entirely too amused by a situation that you’re confused by. 

“It’s just that when Lord Satan and I last spoke, he mentioned one of the titles you hold. Specifically how dense and, er, boring he found it.” 

“Oh,” you say after a moment. 

“I did not mean to upset you, my lady,” Lord Simeon says, and you laugh.

“My lord, you have not. Thank you for the concern, and the truth.” You sigh. “It appears that Lord Satan is either testing me or playing a cruel prank. That is unfortunate, considering I had truly hoped to gain some insight from his favorite reading materials. It is of no matter, though,” you continue, squaring your shoulders, “for I shall finish them all and force him into a long-winded and in-depth discussion about their contents.” 

Sir Solomon barks a laugh, eying you appreciatively. “That’s a response I hadn’t expected. My lady, you are truly full of surprises.” 

“Well, I wish you luck in the matter,” Lord Simeon says. “I am sorry that Lord Satan found it appropriate to do such a thing.” 

“Oh, no need to apologize,” you say airily. “You are not the one at fault. And in my opinion, any book written is worth reading, even if it is only to confirm how useless it is. Anyway, I must be on my way, but it was a pleasure running into you both, as always.” 

“You as well,” Sir Solomon says with a small bow. “Please, let me know how it goes with Lord Satan. And I am fairly well-versed in many subjects so if you want someone to actually give you recommendations, I’d be more than willing.” 

“I’m sure I’ll take you up on that offer,” you say, and soon enough you’re alone once more, striding down the cobblestone path. 

*

A few days later finds you sitting in the garden, sipping a cup of fragrant tea as you skim through one of the books Lord Satan had given you. He was correct; they are all frightfully dense and boring, but you’re powering through. Though your hands itch to flip open Grumorium Verum, you know if you do, you’ll fail to come back to the other titles. 

“Oh, Lady F/N,” Lord Asmodeus trills, entering your line of vision. His waistcoat and pants are a crisp white, and his cravat is a beautiful shade of blue, a nice pop of color. As with every time you’ve seen him, he looks impeccably put together, wearing the garments like a second skin. “I hadn’t expected to run into you out here. What have you been up to?” 

You delicately mark your place in the book, closing it. “Only a bit of reading. And you?” 

Lord Asmodeus sighs, slumping down. “Oh, nothing in particular. I just saw how nice it was today and decided a walk in the gardens would do me much good.” 

“It is quite lovely,” you remark. “Would you care for some tea and cookies?” 

“As much as I’d love to spend some time with you, my lady,” Lord Asmodeus sighs, “I do have some business to attend to shortly. Good luck on your reading!” 

“Thank you, my lord.” You watch him stroll off, a small smile on your face. Your interactions with the fifth-born always leave you in a pleasant mood. After a moment, you devote yourself back to your reading. 

“Asmo said I might find you out here,” a calm voice calls a few minutes later, and you look up to be met with Lord Satan. “Doing a bit of reading?” 

Lord Simeon’s words echo in your head and you give Lord Satan an inviting smile. “I am! I’ve been making my way through your recommendations.” 

“Have you?” 

“Oh, yes,” you say, gesturing for Lord Satan to sit. “They’re not what I imagined your style to be, but if you liked them there must be some merit to them, of course. What did you think of the assertions made in Ars Memoriae? I found some of it to be fitting, based on my own personal experiences. Of course…” you continue to ramble, effectively trapping Lord Satan into a conversation he (quite clearly, in your opinion) doesn’t want to have. 

Revenge is sweet, especially paired with the delicious tea. You must ask for the blend next time you run into the duke. 

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[evilvvithin]

I'm curious ッ How do you imagine König under all those covers? 😄 Like...What hair color does he have? What hairstyle does he wear? Does he have any scars? Is he a six-pack guy or more a dad-bod but muscly? Is he hairy? Does he have a skincare routine? And so on 😄

Okay, listen.

I imagine König just as his voice actor, Jim Boeven. König clearly got his eyes so it's safe to assume they just used his face and everything to model him, like other CoD characters. More likely König just looks like him just yonger, with light brown / dark blonde hair because idk why it just suits him in my head. I can't decide if his hair are rather curly or just normally straight but I'd go with short, straight hair. Messy, short hair because they're short he doesn't do much with them in terms of styling or anything but I mean he does care for his hair, he definetly owns more haircare products than just shampoo. Also, ngl, I feel like König would have big corners as his hair goes away a little and he hates it and does everything to slow it. You bet he has lean, muscle body because he's in army for so long. Not super big beefy body builder muscles, but nice abs visible sixpack and he's lean. He might get more dad bod cause christmas time and cookies? Hell yea. He loves food. I already mentioned it in my nsfw alphabet and nothign has changed so he is hairy, but i can see him taking care of his chest so he doens't look like a bear, same goes for the crotch area. He has little more hairy back than others too, imo. He also won't go fully shaved because he's trying to hide the scars he has, not many but few really deep visible ones. (I find scars nothing to be ashamed of but I can see him not being comfortable with proudly showing them to everyone but he would not mind with his s/o or close friends) He does care how he looks and presents himself because he's not fully satisfied with himself, therefore putting more effort in his looks. He totally shaves his face making sure it's smooth all the time and if he has beard, its always perfect length and symetric. He will put cream on his face and hands every morning and if he doesn't use sea or kokosnuss scent everywhere I'd burry myself alive, when I see könig i smell kokos don't ask. Kokos or some strong, expensive parfume because he wants to smell good. You'd find his lips scared too because he bites on them, unknowingly most of the time. I don't think he bites his nails but more than often you find the skin around nails pulled off. He doesnt even realize he's doing it, he just does it from time to time when he gets nervous. He also tries to use lipbalm all the time on his cracked lips but always forgets. Imagining König dressed in anything else than black or army styled pants doesn't click with me, he'd wear some big and comfy tshirt with those. I don't think he cares much about motives he just wants something he feels good in but he 100% owns multiple shirts with his favorite bands. Not wearing sniper hood irl, hes the type of guy to jsut wear scarf all the time (unless its dying hot outside) and he tends to pull it up his lips or even up to his nose. I don't think he wears any rings or necklases and definetly no earrings, they just get in way of his comfy feeling. He also hates tight boxers, random HC. He also got bad tooth or two because he loooved sweets as kid as we came to the conclusion with @brandnewhuman (and he still does but doesnt eat it that much anymore) but he'd still give you nice smile as the teeth wouldn't be visible at all.

[pineappleciders]

I am in LOVE with your art <3 do you have any tips for beginner artists ? 👾

HELLO i am so glad you enjoy my art!!! i wanna preface this by saying i am by no means amazing at art or drawing so take everything with a grain of salt!! i think i've done a post like this before but i can do it again!!

ive found that if you grew up drawing it's a lot easier to get into it and be better at it,, ive been drawing for as long as i can remember ans i still have a bunch of my really old drawings from lkke 2015-2019 (everything before is probbaly with my dad cuz he was in love with my art as a kid)

so i do think its a bit more difficult to get into it if you didn't start out early, but don't let that discourage you in any way.

eveb if you aren't a super creative person or weren't labeled the "art kid" in school, chances are there's a lot of potential and creativity bubbling under the surface that you just need to activate!

i feel like a lot of people say that you shouldn't 'copy' artstyles or whatever when starting out, but i think that's probably the best way to find what you want to draw! like, if you form an art style off of yourube tutorials or your favorite artist, as you keep drawing and practicing you'll start to stem off into your own style.

you can look up tutorials for any type of drawing you want to create, like realism, anime, cartoonish, whatevwr you'd like to start out with, go for it.

and then just practice! i knwo everyone says that but it's genuinely the only way to form your own artstyle and avtually enjoy what you make. you can make ocs, fanart, scenery, whatever makes you happy. thats what art is all about, is something that you want to express and expressing it!

i think the biggeat thing is to not be hars on yourself. it may take awhile before you're completely happy with your art, and it might even be never. everyone is constantly improving in their art, nothign is ever going to stay the same while drawing. and that's okay! i think that's why it's so beautiful; because you can enver blame yourself for heing 'bad' because at one point in time, that drawing was amazing. to you, or anyone else like your parent or friends, that art was beautiful.

ok i got a little philosophical there but basically don't be scared to copy art styles and keep drawing them because eventually you'll stem off into your own thing even if it's just a variation it's still ur own art. all of us have subconsciously or consciously taken traiys from other peoples art styles and incorporated it into our own, but aomehow all of it looks different!!!!

don't make art into somethting stressful for you if you don't want to. let drawing be whatever you want, a pastime, hobby, job, life, whatever art is to you, own it.

idk if anythinf in this made sense but remember art is to express! a blank canvas at your fingertips. ily and i hope your art journey is fabulous