#because i can still change the outcome of that one

[talenlee]

What Is Truth (in game worldbuilding)

The question to start with: How do you present information as truthful in your world?

Okay, there’s a lot going on here, and it involves defining in order to get some specificity. The principles might be universalisable but I sure ain’t gunna pull it off here. This is primarily considering world-building for a game, and not the world-building for a conventional narrative explanation like a story or web serial or whatnot. Those are worlds where you can, amongst other things, go back in time and change the setup you have for the story you want.

And you should.

That’s what editing is.

But in the making of a world for a game, you have to make a way for people to interact with a playful space that gives them boundaries and things to interact with (that are cool and fun or ‘engaging’ if you want to be technical) and that means you need to confer the reality to these players in ways that you, the person building the world, may struggle with depicting.

The task of depicting truth is different in storytelling for a conventional narrative and for a game. Particularly, games have an interface layer that typically speaking, players have to have some reason to believe they can trust, and the job of the interface is to serve as a window between the reality of the game (ie, you are a player interacting with a playful device) and the fiction of the game (there are fuckin DRAGONS man).

See, one of the easiest ways to convey ‘true’ things to your players is to describe ideas in an entirely objective sense. This is this, this is that, and then you use objective measurements as much as you can, in the objective voice of a narrator. This is fine, this works out just okay, and I don’t want you to feel bad in any way about doing this this way, but when you present information like that, you have presented that information as reliable. That creates a sense of trust which you then can just poop down your leg when you have to explain that something you told them isn’t true.

Obviously you can be okay with this, I mean it doesn’t matter if a Metroidvania videogame has to indicate that an early message log was a lie. It needs to be done with a bit of care though because say, if a game opens by telling you that you’re using a stun gun to knock people out through the whole game, and then reveals, shock horror, that actually it’s a murder gun that has been knocking people into death with kill bullets, then the result isn’t going to be a player feeling an emotional distress at the realisation that they were doing something wrong because they trusted the wrong person, you’re going to have a player rejecting the experience, falling out of the fiction and going: this is bullshit.

(Because it is bullshit.)

I think on this because I think about how I present information from Cobrin’Seil. Cobrin’Seil is a D&D setting. It’s meant to be made for people to play in in a setting that is primarily mechanically oriented, where the world can be represented by reasonably reliably systems. Wizards in the top of the world and the bottom of the world can both cast spells that are similar and those spells may work differently under the hood, within the fiction, but are still reasonably coherently reliable things. The same is true that the followers of a death god can heal people with spells that may look entirely different to the spells of a god of the harvest but in the end, the people experiencing the outcome still wind up healed.

I think that the world of Cobrin’Seil is more interesting and more rewarding to write about if there is a strict delineation between the concrete and reliable — rules information — and the social and communicated — things people talk about in the world. That is to say, if you need to roll a few d6 or d8s for a thing, that’s rules information, segregated, and, thanks to 4th edition’s excellent trade dress (the way the books are designed to look) we have a good standardised way to express that. But if you want to know about the world, the things in the world and the way they relate to one another, then that’s where you talk to people and people have biases, and all the information presented in the world is presented as if it is being told to you by a person.

When I’m discussing the world of Cobrin’Seil, then, I know that it’s easy to state questions from a near-objective narrative position, but to deliver answers it should always have an attribution, a source. That source then gets to be someone potentially wrong, and to bring in their own biases and their own opinions.

I know that in Cobrin’Seil, I am biased towards presenting wizards who study things and write things down as a useful source of studyable information. I also know I don’t necessarily verify that information or make it widespread. Sometimes I like that because there are some things I want to be objectively true. For example: Wizards can prove that racism is based on nothing meaningfully true. On the other hand, that doesn’t mean people don’t believe in racism or engage in it, but that there is some objective authority in the universe that can say ‘look, this is a social system that sucks, and ‘detect racism’ spells won’t work.’

Otherwise, though? Things like how magic works? What gods can do? How fairies can manipulate reality? That stuff is all competing theories, maybes, possibilities, and I try to make sure it’s always at least three competing theories.

That bias remains, though, right? And it stands to reason, I, a person working in academia who is working on higher education, would likely see the advantages to and potential authority of a system like that. But that also demonstrates something of my biases towards, you know, things being written down. I could have it so that there are shamanic songs and lyrical poetry that carry important narratives of truth… except I’m not good at writing those, so I don’t.

This is what you need to be mindful of. There are ways to represent what’s ‘true’ in your worldbuilding, in the information you present to people, but you need to also be mindful of your biases. You need to maintain a sense of truth that players can engage with and you need to be mindful of where it’s okay to lie to them.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[pepprs]

hi, everyone. i hope you all are doing well. i’ve been meaning and wanting to check in here for many months but i have also been too afraid to. but i want to do it now because im potentially at a turning point and i want you all (especially close friends and mutuals who i haven’t talked to in a long time) to know what’s going on because unfortunately i do not have the strength to reach out individually right now, as much as i desperately want to.

when i left this place a year ago my depression was extremely bad. i didn’t know how long i was going to be gone or whether i was leaving for good, but i knew i needed to make some changes in my life before i could be here healthily again. well… 2024 has been a year of IMMENSE change for me! a lot of it has been for the good. i made some progress in my life by moving out, and i’ve had a lot of joy and healing in (very slowly) building a home for myself and figuring out what kind of life i want to live and how i want to live it. (im learning how to drive! i have string lights and stuffed animals and a wii! i am capable of solo travel!)

but… a lot of the changes that have happened this year have been for the worse. in almost every respect 2024 has been one of the most difficult and painful years of my life (and that is saying something!). this year a couple of traumatic things have happened to me and around me, and it has been extremely hard to live my life despite and beyond them. i have been dealing with physical and mental health issues that have greatly impacted my quality of life and make it unbearably difficult for me to get through every day. i am constantly running on negative spoons. one of the most damaging outcomes of this is that i have almost completely withdrawn from society both online and off and that is not an exaggeration. ive stopped talking to all of my friends and family except for people i see every day at work. i impulsively isolate myself when im in pain / distress despite knowing both emotionally and logically that it makes literally everything worse and i don’t know how to (and often can’t muster the mental strength to) work through the shame and grief and anxiety to seek connection and support. and im struggling to take care of myself including physically and its having severe consequences in every aspect of my life and in the lives of people who care about me. i live alone and i still think that was the good and right choice for me to make, but i am profoundly and agonizingly lonely. my depression was extremely bad when i left here, but i think despite everything it might be even worse now.

all of this is to say: this week i finally decided i can’t suffer like this anymore, and i began the process of seeking a formal diagnosis for my depression and other mental health issues and exploring additional treatment beyond talk therapy (most likely meds but there may be other things too / instead; still at the very beginning stages of figuring it all out). i am extremely anxious about many dimensions of this but also hopeful that it will help me hurt less because when i tell you at this point my brain and heart physically ache from depression like 85% of every day…. lol. im really hoping that once i get my mental / emotional pain under control i’ll be able to start tending to the parts of my life that have withered while ive suffered and repair the damage of my neglect as best i can. (which is to say… if you’re my friend and you’re reading this please know i love you and i miss you terribly and i am so sorry we haven’t spoken and i am so sorry im telling you this in a tumblr post you may not even read instead of a reply or a call back. i still love you and i want you to know it is not you specifically i am ghosting, its everyone. i am trying to build the strength and im scared i can’t but i hope i can.)

that said… i have decided i am not going to be coming back to this blog. i miss this place and the community i felt connected to here, but the way i was using this website as a public diary was extremely unhealthy, and as much as i miss it and still crave the instant comfort/validation i see clearly now with months of distance how damaging it was. (i truly cannot believe i was oversharing like that lol i am so private now (yes due largely to mental illness but still!)) i am so grateful to everyone who reassured me when i was struggling and celebrated my successes. this was the first place, online or off, where i (misguidedly but it’s true!) could actually be honest and candid about things happening in my life and my reactions to them instead of communicating it all through metaphors in my art and poetry, and it truly mattered that i had that experience here so that i could seek out more spaces like it in my offline life. i know i already said thank you in a previous update but really… thank you. 💗🫂

im not planning on deleting this blog. i may come back here and share updates like this one from time to time, but otherwise i will leave it as it is. but… i do want to get back to using a few of my fandom-centered sideblogs because looking at and compiling art of things i like is a low-energy thing that makes me happy! so you may see activity there every once in a while (tbh during this hiatus i have opened tumblr from time to time to look at art and save a bunch of posts that i wanted to reblog eventually lol). but… if i notice myself slipping back into bad habits i may private the sideblogs or abandon them completely.

i don’t know how to end this post. actually wait yes i do. one of my all time favorite artists is anna-laura sullivan (@/annalaura_art on instagram) and this is one of my all time favorite drawings of hers (so much so that i made it my lock screen so i can look at it every day!). this saying has brought me a lot of comfort and i hope it (and her other art) will bring you comfort too if you’re also in a dark place.

one more thing: not to be kind of a freak but in writing this post i discovered a longer version of my goodbye post from last year in my drafts. i don’t remember why i didn’t post it and obviously it’s outdated now but i want to share the draft because i went into more detail about tumblr having been helpful for me specifically when it comes to my mutuals + info / disclaimers about how to reach me and i want you guys to hear that in my past self’s voice lol! i put it under the cut if you want to read it!

2023 tess said it best: i hope you know how much it’s meant to me to be in your company. thank you for sharing and thank you for listening. i love you. happy [almost] new year. be well. good luck. shine bright. until we meet again ☕️🐈🫂💗

[wikaa33]

my law of assumption journey

i thought i’d like to share my journey when it comes to manifesting with law of assumption. everything had started in may 2020. back then, i was studying and practicing law of attraction. obviously, it gave me results, but the moment when i found out about law of assumption was the moment of unlocking my highest potential. since 2021 i’ve been constantly learning about loa.

during that time i’ve manifested tons of good things. but this year on april 17th my whole life changed. it was the day after i had experienced a betrayal from a loved one, truly traumatizing for me. i’m pretty sure that it was the day when i successfully intentionally quantum jumped for the first time. the day before, i’ve set the intention and trust me, the moment i woke up i’ve felt like a totally different person.

since then, i’ve never looked back at my past. yes, it shaped the person that i am now but i don’t attach myself to it anymore. i officially am a different person and it’s one of the things that i am the most proud of.

for these past 7 months, i’ve been constantly working on reprogramming my mind, shaping my self concept and building a healthy relationship with myself. these months changed my life. i’ve managed to turn a negative event into something positive and beautiful - being reborn as a new person.

now, i can proudly say that i am the master of manifesting. everything i want comes to me within a couple of hours or days. there’s no such thing that i cannot achieve and i deserve to live the best life i could ever possibly imagine.

3 weeks ago, i’ve also had a very interesting meditation. i was in the void state and that night something changed. i don’t know what caused it but it made me feel even more sure that i can achieve anything i desire, that i am the creator.

recently, i’ve manifested passing all of my 4 exams on the first try which led to me receiving a driver’s license. during my driving test, i had one of the most strict and mean examiners in the whole city. also, one of my friends wasn’t supportive at all and he said that it’s impossible for me to pass it one the first try. did it change the outcome? of course not, it didn’t matter because i was still sure that no matter what happens, i will pass it. i did not care about what 3d is showing me. in my mind i had a desire that i knew i will get.

that’s a really small part of my journey but i thought i’d like to share my experience! i’m so proud of myself for being in the place that i am now. never have i been more grateful and thankful for fighting and understanding my power.

[shady-tavern]

Preview for "A Heart of Death and Hope" the December Short Story

(This story contains mentions of suicidal thoughts and a request for death, please be sure to take care of yourselves)

*.*.*

Once upon a time, a girl was born to a loving if quiet mother and a strict, rigid father. When she reached five years of age, the Ceremony of Hearts was held, her parents waiting until one of the traveling priests came to their little town to find out just what heart their child had been born with.

Her mother took her to the priest, for it was said that the mother formed a child's heart since they carried them beneath their own for so long. Her mother was nervous, the girl could tell, for if a child was born with a bad heart, the mother always got blamed for it.

The ceremony was held in private and was, all in all, nothing exciting. The priest pricked her fingertip for a drop of blood, the little girl bravely keeping from flinching away and then he held her finger over a slip of paper, squeezing a bit to make the blood drop onto it, before carefully dropping a spot of ink onto the paper as well. 

The two colors ran together, soaking into the paper and the priest turned away before he could see the end result.

Another superstition was that if anyone but the mother and child saw the outcome of the ceremony they were going to change it, that a stranger's eyes could influence or perhaps warp the truth.

The little girl knew what the paper strips of her parents looked like, her father's narrow and red and edged in only a little black, while her mother's was all blood. The more the red prevailed, the purer the heart. The more the black prevailed, the more a heart was tainted.

Her mother stared at the strip of paper as black spread and only a faint outline of red remained, her face suddenly drawn tight and full of silent fear. The priest turned around and stared at the slip, going silent and still as well.

"A heart of death," he murmured quietly as he studied the way the liquid had soaked into the paper, the forms and lines and shapes it had created. "I have only ever seen such a thing once before."

"Please don't tell anyone," her mother whispered, grabbing the paper and closing her fist tightly around it, as though to hide it away. "She's only so little."

The priest glanced between them, clearly torn, before he pulled out another slip, dropping only a tiny bit of ink onto it before he reached for the girl's bleeding finger once more and pressed more drops onto it, making sure the red prevailed even as black tried to eat into it again.

"That is all I can do," he said and her mother traded the slip she held for the new one with a big shivering exhale of relief. The priest threw the original piece of paper into the small fireplace off to the side. "Now go and speak of this no more. But woman, remember, you may lie but the child's heart will not change because of it."

The girl felt her mother's hand tighten around hers before she was gently but insistently pulled out of the room the priest had been given by the mayor. Outside other parents waited with their children and they perked up with eager curiosity.

"What did she get, Madleine?" one of the women asked. The girl remembered her, she always came around on washing day so they could do those chores together. Her son was a freckled, quiet boy who liked to help bugs out of the washing basins and who protected spiders from other, rougher children.

"A heart of hope," her mother answered, a smile on her face as she held out the strip. "Look at all that red fighting back the black!"

The other women made appreciative noises, though some glanced at the girl with slightly wrinkled noses, tugging their children closer, a shine of jealousy in their eyes.

"Next," the priest called out and the girl's mother took that chance to usher her away, as another mother eagerly stepped forward.

"Don't tell your father," the girl's mother whispered, quiet but with a fierceness the girl hadn't seen from her before. "Your heart is one of hope, understand?"

"I don't want to kill anyone," the girl whispered back, worried and unsure. "I don't want to hurt anyone either. Maybe the priest was wrong?"

Her mother tugged her into an alley before she dropped down to one knee, grasping her shoulders and looking at her with quiet intensity.

"Death is not a terrible, awful thing and many things can die, even things not made of flesh and blood. If you do have a heart of death, then choose what you end." She pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead and whispered, "Never fear yourself, my dear girl, even the darkest heart can bring good into this world if they know where to direct their darkness."

The little girl fell quiet, thoughtful, and her mother smiled at her, pressing another kiss to her forehead before she rose to her feet and offered her hand. The girl took it and they headed back home, where her father was already waiting impatiently.

He seemed satisfied enough with the results of the ceremony, nodding once before he handed the slip back to her mother to be framed and put above the mantle, between the slips of her parents.

The girl's mother cast her a look when his back turned and the girl nodded. She knew when to keep a secret.

They went about the rest of the day as usual and by the time the little girl laid down in her bed, she had thought about her heart a lot. A heart of death. Her mother had said that it wasn't a bad thing and she decided that it wouldn't be.

If she couldn't have a good heart, the least she could do was bring death to bad things.

*.*.*

The girl never mentioned the true nature of her heart to anyone and instead let everyone believe that she had a heart of hope. As she grew older, she found herself paying attention to where the light fell short. 

She befriended the boy no one wanted to talk to and secretly dropped off potatoes and a little basket of picked berries at the grim neighbor's house once a week, no one speaking to the woman who lived there and who had faced terrible hardship in her time.

And bit by bit, the girl noticed other things as she grew older. How some people seemed to have darkness clinging to them like an oil film, flickering between the folds of their clothing like tiny, licking flames.

Her father was among them, though his darkness was subtle enough that she had almost overlooked it. The girl had always kept a bit of a distance to her father and he to her. So long as she obeyed him, he was only strict, not cruel.

When he died a year later, taken by a sickness, she grieved and yet, a small part of her was relieved as well. Her mother seemed to come alive in the wake of his passing. Singing and dancing suddenly filled the house, his blood-slip vanishing from its spot on the wall and it was as though there was more light in their home again.

The girl stayed away from the other people that carried more of that darkness, an instinctive feeling in her gut warning her that there was nothing good to be found near them.

Right up until, when she was fourteen years old, there was a person with the darkest shadows yet, who went from house to house, selling miracle tonics. It had been a bad year for the entire region, with a far too wet spring and summer, the rivers swelling large and there had been a couple of houses built near the water that had gotten swept away.

The girl hoped the stranger wouldn't come to their house as well, but one evening, while her mother sat by the table, repairing and mending various things, a knock sounded from the door.

The girl knew who it was and she had seen everyone fall to the stranger's charms, even the grim old woman and the cautious, nervous young candlemaker who had moved into their town after marrying the miller's son.

"I got it," the girl called out, her mother settling back down with a nod, returning her attention to her work.

Swallowing nervously, the girl headed for the door and pulled it open. It was indeed the stranger, his smile friendly and disarming, but no matter how nice he looked, it couldn't hide the oil-slick darkness that seemed to coalesce along the edges of his clothes and the tips of his hair, almost looking like it was dripping down.

The stranger introduced himself as a wandering alchemist and doctor's apprentice. He said that he was selling cures and remedies for all kinds of ailments, from an unwanted wart and persistent cough to terrible fevers. 

"Why don't you take this little sample?" he said when he realized that the girl had no intentions of buying anything from him. "Give it to your parents, just so they'll keep staying healthy. They ought to take it right away even! Let them know that I'll only stay in town another day before I move on in case they do desire to buy my tonics."

He held out a corked little vial and while the liquid inside looked downright honey-gold, the girl saw the same oil-slick darkness on the outside of the vial, as though it was oozing from the man's sleeve and down his wrist and fingers to coat the glass.

"It's alright, take it," he said, insistently holding the vial out further and the girl hesitantly reached out, silently resolving to throw the vial out where her mother couldn't see.

The moment her hand brushed the stranger's, it was as though the darkness dripped off of him, sliding away to leave regular shadows and color behind and he jerked back with a sharp gasp, dropping the vial to let it shatter on the doorstep.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked, startled, but he didn't seem to hear her. If anything, he stared off into the distance, a horrified expression overtaking his face.

"What am I doing," he whispered and took a downright stumbling step back, pressing his hand to his mouth, his gaze darting about. He almost dropped the doctor's bag he was carrying that held the tonics. "What just happened..."

He breathed out the last few words as he turned around and left as though in a daze, his free hand raising to his temples as if he was suffering a sudden headache.

The girl stared after him, startled and confused, until she heard her mother call out to close the door, that it was getting drafty.

"Who was it?" the girl's mother asked when she returned and the girl shook her head.

"No one, just a prank," she answered. "Probably the butcher's son, he's of that age now."

"I'll speak with Richard when I visit his shop the next time," her mother said. "I'll ask him to teach his son better ways to express his mischief."

The girl nodded and sat down to help her mother, though her mind kept wandering and she stared down at her hands. Had...she done that?

*.*.*

This story will be published on the first of December on my patreon and ko-fi! Thank you all so very much for your support, your likes and comments and reblogs and tags.

If you want to read other stories I've written, feel free to go check out the Masterpost!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

some Headcannons about Killer relationship with Frisk and the Player.

I like imagining Frisk and Killer as rivals the battle of the partners. Killer being both Asriel and Frisk replacement their better version. Killer does refer to Frisk as a different person then the player and Killer seems to have some hate for them wether that Killer own feeling or left overs from Sans I'm unsure.

I like imagining that the player can control Killer their new vessel and replacement of Frisk. Do you think their are just many different players or just one it sounds like their is more than one but I just kinda wanted your opinion on things.

~Musical Anon

There’s not much information on the Something New player (or hacker, more accurately) unfortunately. Just that:

1. The Player really, really wanted Sans to say yes to the deal.

2. The Playee altered Sans’ code to lead to this outcome in some shape or form.

I know a lot of people seem to think that altering Sans’ code was similar to like, taking over his body and forcing him to say yes, but i personally like to think that altering his code made him more inclined to accept the deal because he struggled to discern and separate his wants from the Player’s (via suddenly thinking thoughts and having feelings that don’t feel like his, something like thought insertion in the context of OSDD-2), and is why he remembers what happens during Resets (as opposed to previously being aware that they exist) —and his code didn’t solidify into k1ll_sans until after his soul was changed, and Killer was officially ‘born.’

So in this way I like to think Sans still had bodily free will and agency in accepting the Deal even despite his altered codes—it’s just that remembering all the Resets clearly now and outside influences in the form of the human’s coercion and manipulation—as well as thoughts that don’t feel like his, feel like they’re coming from an outside source but must be what he wants, made him more inclined to listening to those thoughts that he thinks isn’t his as he starts to dissociate to cope with these alien thoughts and urges.

(Prime is example is thoughts of hurt, anger, and rage at Papyrus—likely growing thoughts about wanting to kill Papyrus—about how he “deserves” it—that, at the time, sent Sans recoiling from his own thoughts in disgust, shame, fear, confusion.)

3. The Player is the reason that Killer!Sans exists. Sans is like that because of us.

4. When referring to the Player, rahafwabas and killer only ever use the words “you” and “you’re”—speaking directly to the readers of the comics.

“You want Sans to agree, you want sans to kill them.”

“You are the reason Killer!Sans exists.”

“You are the reason I am like this.”

“What do you mean, tired? You wanted this. You all wanted this.” Suggests that the Something New Hacker could be anyone, and potentially multiple.

5. The Chara in Killer’s head uses “we” to refer to themself. “We only want to help you, sans. You don’t want another Bad Ending, do you?” Suggest to me that this is the language the ‘actual’ Chara used to back when they and killer weee still partners, enough so that it carries over into killers head.

I don’t believe it’s ever said after that if the Something New Player like, still actually around. Do they directly take control of Killer, or do they have him act on their will via stuff in his programming, even when they’re not there?

Did Killer break free by turning on Chara, taking control of the Reset, and winning their game, he just thinks he isn’t in timelines where Nightmare kidnaps him—still doing what he thinks We want, even if the Player isn’t actually around anymore? Or was he never actually free at all. Is the Player actually still there, controlling him or trying to control him, or is it all in his head.

[exhausted-archivist]

Very fair and possible, it could be the straw that breaks him. To which, yes, if that is the more reasonable outcome for him then the betrayal of Blackwall wouldn't be necessary or even meaningful.

What I do like about the concept though (aside from the angst) is that it could be used to inspire him as well as disillusion him to complete authority. Something I think will be pivotal to his full recovery and healing later on.

In Inquisition, he doesn't question why Cassandra picked him, he knows why. She gave him a whole speech and convinced him to leave Kirkwall to join as Commander. So he knows why he's there. What she saw in him. Yes, his main concern is that he himself would become the bad authority figure. He's worried that he will become them because it is all he knows, and he's already been there during his time with Merideth.

But I agree, with you, the intention of Cullen's story would dictate who you put in that position of power above him. Blackwall you run with a more angsty, somber, and something that might not be as fulfilling for a player. Commander Blackwall would be more of a "even the best of us struggle and have failings". Coupling that with having to watch yet another person fail Cullen, and this time watch it happen to him and yourself. But I think it could also be satisfying and pay off, especially with the series underlying current of how war changes you, how war can corrupt and ruin you.

Whereas if you have Cassandra, the tone of the story is more hopeful, positive, it makes the story one of "right people right job" and you get more of a nuance to those of the religious Andrastian alignment. You have a higher potential for a more positive and satisfying story, but not necessarily one that is as challenging nor fitting with the underlying themes.

What I think comes from having Blackwall as another failing authority figure is that disillusion. That it isn't a failing of the Templars, of the Chantry, or even a failing of himself. Anyone can fail as a leader, but Blackwall? Blackwall was at least seeking atonement and redemption, he may have gone about it the wrong way. But it is still a moment of learning and inspiration. Blackwall's reveal/journey could be a chance for inspiration. You could inspire or harden Cullen with how you choose to deal with Blackwall's story. Because like Blackwall, Cullen will one day seek atonement and redemption. So the day when he struggles and questions himself, he can reflect on Blackwall... and know that it is a hard path. But also when it comes around, he will have confidence in himself to not be like Blackwall or any of the others that failed him.

Also, I just generally like the theme the series has of just one character has quite literally ever authority figure fail them but in the end they grow past it. They can be vibrant and strong. Alistair, Cullen, Carver, Fenris, Sera, ect.

Concepts that I didn’t want to think about but my brain won’t shut off:

1) Cullen should have been a companion vs advisor. The man likes to be active and do things. He’s not a papers guy. Plus while popular most people (statistically) do not know his whole story so he is really easy to explore for both new and old players.

2) We could explore his trauma from dao-da2 while also seeing him work on his recovery - his story would continue to NOT be about redemption, but about working on his sobriety and de-radicalization.

3) By having Cullen as a companion and exploring his story, it would have really brought forward the previously established nuance of the Templars. It would have put the humanization of the Templars front and center - the stuff that’s been buried in codices and ambient dialogue and banter for the past two games. One of those “shouldn’t be the cheese is under the sauce” topics to be honest.

4) Blackwall would have been better suited for the Commander role. He’s led troops before, he “has” wings of valor. As a grey warden it would have still fit his role as remaining non-political because the Wardens are still Andrastian and most of Thedas doesn’t count that as a reason to bar people. Would further push the “Chantry is overstepping their bounds” while also pushing the claim that the Inquisition is NOT Chantry affiliated. Would have made the reveal much juicier.

5) If you did swap Cassandra with Cullen, Cassandra would still pop up in the field. It is weird for a commander to not travel where they’re needed for the army. Plus Cassandra likes to physically handle problems. She’d help establish new keeps, strengthen the Inquisition’s hold else where, investigate the missing seekers, ect. It would also stop the conflict of her only having Templar abilities which as a Seeker she shouldn’t have the same abilities. Similar but different.

6) Even if Cullen stayed as commander we should have seen him in the field more. He is a strategist, a leader, and used to being hands on. Plus he’s too afraid of not having control because he’s never been in control so he’d be traveling just to make sure he was giving his all to the Inquisition like he did the Chantry but also not being like Meredith.

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

one down... one to go

the exam was very different then what i was expecting, but it's done now, and i did my best

i'm taking the rest of the day off :)

[littledead-ridinghood]

It’s not that Jason came back to a changed family where he didn’t fit into the gap he left behind anymore. It’s the fact that his family never scooted over to make more space for him once he returned.

[sealrock]

my revamped au for achille has become canon and I must apologize in advance for the suffering he must go through

[rivilu]

disjointed fandom posting sorry but it just hit me that pwotr is like. the only rpg where a companion never once left my team

[lingeringscars]

layla's relationship with jordan is just so interesting. When they were younger, she was liv's best friend. liv and jordan were also best friends. and layla pretended like jordan was just some annoying guy that hung around. sometimes, that was truly what she thought. most of the time, he was her best friend's brother. and on other occasions, he was one of her closest friends.

he was probably her first crush, but in a way that was never discussed because he was eww a boyyy and liv's brother. she'd secretly be glad when he showed up, while making a show of how annoyed she was that he was interfering with their time.

she would make an excuse when her head turned looking for him as they got older, and he stopped hanging around as much. she'd roll her eyes when he was around, though secretly enjoyed it. and around the same time that it seemed clear that jordan was interested in everyone but her, she thought asher and her made more sense.

and jordan became someone she sometimes hung out with in a large group who messed around with anyone but her. their easy intimacy never disappeared, but layla's feelings did. she never fully addressed or admitted to them, even to herself, and she felt that could never happen anyway. asher was her boyfriend. and then spencer arrived, and she was immediately interested in a way she hadn't been with asher in a long time. she felt disconnected from him, and spencer brought back a spark she hadn't felt since her mom died.

jordan was no longer a focus, was barely considered a friend, and he was still her best friend's brother. but for all her work reconnecting with liv, she never tried with jordan because, well, they were never friends in the first place. a lie she got very, very good at telling herself.

until he did become her best friend. until it was him she was turning to in her darkest moments. it was him that brought her relief, and it was him that she fell in love with but, once again, could not admit to. he was her best friend this time, though. he wasn't just a person hanging around. he wasn't just liv's twin brother. he was her person. and once she admitted that to herself, the rest was over. he was never going to be anything less, and she would not lie to him about her feelings for him after that. she needed to protect herself. he had walls he still needed to break down to get to all of her, but once he had, he had all of her, and he will for the rest of their lives.

[stinkbeck]

nothing more relaxing than like acting out a play in my room alone

[neuromantis]

today i thought that "once a catholic, always a masochist" is a perfect tattoo-type of phrase. bonus points for being an awesome song. extra bonus points for me still somehow being fucked-up about it.

[insertdisc5]

TIMELOOP GAMES REAL!??!??!!

hi i made a timeloop game called In Stars and Time and this is a whole post about other timeloop games you can also play.

some i liked. some i loved. some i didnt like. all are worth playing and like also listen the second friends and family heard i was making a timeloop game, i got bombarded with timeloop media recs. so here is a sampler in no particular order! NOTE: knowing some of those games are timeloop games is a spoiler. but. you are here. for timeloop games. so timeloop games you shall have

Outer Wilds

If you need to play one timeloop game, it's this one. Please play it blind. I swear to god you won't regret it. it's timeloops in space!!! it makes you think!!! there are so many "HOLY SHIT WAIT I GET IT NOW" moments!!! please just go play it please please please. some of the best environmental storytelling in a game. so many hints in plain sight. JUST PLAY IT

[way more timeloop games under the cut]

Oxenfree

I didn't actually like Oxenfree very much. But also it stayed in my mind for weeks after I finished playing it. that's how you know it's a good game. I really enjoyed the dialogue system in this, and how much the loop affected the characters. and it got so spooky!!!

Hikeback

i'm in the credits for this one because i was one of the inspirations heehee <3 i loved playing it… short little game about trust, self-sabotage, and never-ending cycles. highly recommend it

The Stanley Parable

Listen babes it absolutely counts. I replayed it a bunch while making ISAT, and I got immensely inspired by the dialogue, and how it catches you off guard sometimes? You get SO SO used to the narrator's "All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" at the start of every game, and then for no reason instead it says "A soft wind blew outside and perhaps rain started, and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather." like WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM GETTING CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

12 minutes

ok i know we all made fun of this game when it came out because the story is batshit insane HOWEVER!!!!!!!! i REALLY REALLY LOVED how doing the same actions multiple times would have slightly different outcomes. If you battle someone, the first time you get knocked out in one hit and the loop restarts. the second time you try, you evade the first hit, but get knocked out. the third time, you last a little bit longer, and a little bit longer, until you can pretty much hold your own against your enemy. And it applies to so many things in this. Retrying different things to see how they would change was a delight.

this game is also so bad its almost good, and if you're interested you HAVE to play it with friends so you can yell about how bad it is together.

Zero Escape

it's just a good series ok. escape rooms, and also time loops! the 3rd game in particular goes deep into The Math of how timeloops would work, which i think is interesting. sometimes timeloop games just go "yeah you can timeloop dont worry about it" and others go "OK HERE'S THE HOW AND WHY IT WORKS" and both are interesting!

START AGAIN: a prologue

this game has almost everything i could wish for in a timeloop game. depression. lines repeating. dying brings you back. you get new levels and skills because you're aware of the loops but your party members don't. so you get overpowered next to them and they Notice. just. party members who dont know about the loops still noticing something is wrong. you are acting differently than yesterday. you look sad. you are acting weird. you know too much. how did you know where the keys were? how did you know this would happen? what's wrong? talk to us. and oh my god this game has a sequel? which will probably have Actually Everything i could wish for in a timeloop game? i can't wait. who made this? (its me i made this)

Ghost Trick

ok its not really time loops and more time travel and only for 4 minutes HOWEVER!!!! you should play it. you know you should play it because everyone says so. so go play it

Elsinore

im sure its a great game but ive never seen/read hamlet. so thats a failing on my part. because. you absolutely need to know hamlet to understand this game lol i did like the whole "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop"! very fun. or it would be. if i. knew. hamlet

The Forgotten City

a friend kept recommending it to me and i didn't like it. its good! just not for me. but if you like to think a lot you should play it. another "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop" game

Gnosia

Gonna be real. I didn't like the story very much, in part because the game lets you choose your gender but still acts like youre a straight dude. HOWEVER the gameplay was very inspiring to me. Every loop is pretty much just an among us meeting, and you have to find out who the imposters are or everyone dies and you loop again. and sometimes you ARE the imposter, so you need to make sure no one finds out. or you loop again. rules get added as time goes on too. i REALLY loved how quickly the loops stacked up. seeing "loop 100" was such a nice moment. ive been here so long! i tried to recreate that somewhat for my own game…

Loop Hero

Technically not a timeloop game, but a loop game. It still absolutely counts because it's about loops and memories, and what are loops and memories together if not a timeloop. You have your little guy going through a closed loop, battling enemies, getting cards, and making the world whole again by using those cards to make forests, towns, lakes come to life. I am famously a Story First Gameplay Second kinda player, but I did play this 45h for the gameplay alone. I learned a lot about battle balancing and randomness by playing this!

You and Me and Her: A Love Story

you know doki doki litterature club? this came before. and one might say. it's. better. in some parts (and i say that as someone who LOVED ddlc!) i won't say much except it's a dating sim but with timeloops. with a lot of what it implies. why are you dating this girl a second time? a third time? a fourth time? choose another one already! it was such a fascinating game to play, and is incredibly meta in the way it talks about dating sims and visual novels. had a lot of very impactful moments however, i played the hentai version. some of the worst, most cringy sex ive ever read and heard. however, one might say the sex is an integral part of the game and its deconstruction of hentai/dating sims…? no. just play the steam version which doesnt have the horrible sex scenes and you will have a great time i think (or play the hentai version. if you like. to watch. horrible sex scenes???)

Higurashi

knowing this is a timeloop game is a massive spoiler. however, this game is more than a decade old, so,,, honestly if you havent played higurashi what are you doing. i know i just spoiled you on it but i was also spoiled on it and i can GUARANTEE YOU that you will still have an amazing time. one more thing. you gotta play with the original sprites or you're a fake fan

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

starts as a visual novel/management sim/dating sim kinda thing, until you realize that every replay is a new timeline. so the main character can save people, because they remembered about them dying in a previous one. i wish the timeloop would affect the game/story more (let me find a certain character quicker once ive found them in a previous playthrough!!!), but timeloop aside, it's a very fun game to play!!!

that's it! hope you will find a nice timeloop game you like

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @mimimar

Hi! I’m Michelle (Mimimar), an illustrator born and raised in Venezuela, currently based in Italy. I enjoy making colorful illustrations that reflect the things I love: fairy tales, fantasy, tenderness and queer (especially sapphic) stories. Occasionally, I also make paper dolls, comics and animatics. I have a lot of interest in book illustration and I’m currently developing my own stories that I hope to share as an author-illustrator someday!

Check out our interview with Michelle below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I always enjoyed drawing when I was a kid, but it only became a hobby that I did almost every day when I was around 11. At first I only used traditional mediums, but I decided to make a serious effort to learn how to draw digitally when I was 15, and once I got the hang of it I never stopped!

I didn’t go to art school so all of my learning was done through studying the tutorials and resources that other artists generously share on the internet and lots of practice / trial and error.

How do you want to evolve as a creator?

I want to do many things but what I want to do the most right now is work on books! I want to make art for other authors’ stories and also my own stories as an author-illustrator. I want to grow as a storyteller and create art and stories that will really resonate with people emotionally. I’m always striving to improve my skills as well.

I also really love dolls, so working on doll box art or as a doll designer is something I would love to do someday. I actually have been designing paper dolls on my Patreon for the past few months, it’s been a fun project that is still ongoing right now!

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?

Probably using a lot of purple! It’s my favorite color so I find myself using it a lot. If I can find a way to sneak a little bit of purple into an illustration or a character design then I will.

Congratulations on finishing your Ivy Comic! Did the outcome turn out like how you expected or were there some unexpected bumps along the way?

Thank you! It’s a project that I worked on very slowly in between other art because I wanted to really take my time with every spread and make each of them a fully detailed illustration. I thumbnailed the full comic before starting but I kept changing the sketch for the final spread until the very end! Overall I’m really proud of the end result. I sprinkled a lot of hidden details in every page that I hope some of the readers will notice. For example: the meanings of the flowers in each page represent what the characters are feeling in that moment, and the colors of their wardrobe become gradually lighter as the story progresses to represent their emotions, as well as the changing of seasons.

We’ve noticed that you have created some amazing cover art for TGCF. Is there another series you would like to do something similar with? 

That was another passion project that took some time to complete. Initially, I didn’t intend for them to be specifically covers, it was just a series of illustrations based on the 5 books/main arcs of TGCF. But since they were well-received and I had people telling me they wish they could use them as covers for their books, I decided to rework them into dust jackets for the english translation of TGCF!

I haven’t thought of any other specific series but I love doing cover art so maybe I’ll do something similar again in the future!

What’s your favorite part of your style? Why?

I’ve heard from other people that there’s a delicate quality to my art, this is something that I like a lot! I like pretty things, fairytales and vibrant colors. I think all of these things probably reflect in the art I make as well.

If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?

I hope that they remember how it made them feel. Feelings and colors are the two things I give priority to in my work. Most of the time I like depicting tenderness, softness and emotional intimacy. If that could reach the viewer and stay with them it would make me very happy. 

I make a lot of art with queer (mainly sapphic) themes because they’re the kind of stories I personally like and want to see more of, so whenever people tell me that my art has helped them in their journey to discover and accept themselves, or that they see themselves and their partner in my art, it is always extremely meaningful to me. When art that I made to give myself comfort can provide comfort for others, no matter how small, it reminds me once again that despite any hardships art is genuinely worth pursuing.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

So many artists! To name a few:  I love @sakizo’s amazing eye for fashion and detail,  @paneeps’ gorgeous style and striking colors,  the sweetness of @bevsi’s art,  @vickisigh’s pretty colors and concepts,  @idledee’s warm and heartfelt art,  @littlestpersimmon’s dreamy wonderful art,  and @loish has been an inspiration for as long as I can remember.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Michelle! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @mimimar.

[marvelouslizzie]

Pretty Little Thing - co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: Your long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, is a regular at the bar where you work, and tonight, it's impossible to avoid serving him for the first time.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: +18, alcohol, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.8K

A/N: @notafunkiller and I merged our separate ideas into one and this is the outcome. It was so much fun to write. We hope it'll me the same while reading too.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.

You thought this night would be calm and easy, that nothing significant would happen. All that changed when Bucky Barnes set foot in the bar. It’s not his first time here by any means, but until now you successfully managed to avoid him by asking the other bartender to serve his side. This time, unfortunately, you are working alone. It’s a slow night, so there’s no way you can really avoid him.

You watch him find an empty place and sit down, and you really don’t know what to do. You can feel yourself sweating already. You are so nervous. Not because you are afraid of him or anything. He doesn’t look scary. Not to you. You are afraid to embarrass yourself in front of him, but you should be able to ask for his order and serve it without messing it up. That’s not so hard. 

Just keep it simple, you tell yourself.

“Hey, what can I get you?”

Bucky looks up from his phone straight into your eyes, and you freeze a little.

“Hello, do you... a draft beer, please.”

His answer confuses you. That’s not his usual order. 

“You sure you don’t want something stronger? We have that bourbon.” You curse yourself internally for paying attention and not being able to hold your tongue.

He raises his eyebrow surprised. “How do you know that? There is no way you served me any drinks cause I would remember you.”

He frowns as soon as he finishes speaking. Maybe you helped your colleague or maybe you were informed about what he drinks just in case he showed up. He’s still the Winter Soldier after all.

“I never served you before.” You say with a shy smile. You hope this is enough of an answer for him.

“Do I look like a bourbon man?” He asks playfully before giving you a smile that transforms his face a little, softening his features. 

“You look like you enjoy quality stuff, and between you and me, our draft beer is shitty.”

That comment makes him chuckle. You’re so distracted by his face that you don’t notice how his eyes fall straight to your breasts.

“Thanks for the tip. Normal beer then?”

“If you insist.” You smile and open the small fridge under the bar where you keep some of the beers. You quickly open it and put it right in front of him, not realizing that gesture shows off your bartender skills a little bit.

He doesn’t look away from you as he takes a big sip before placing the bottle on the table quickly.

“For how long have you been working here?”

“For the past year.” You avoid making eye contact while drying some of the freshly washed glasses.

“Oh.” He sounds kind of taken aback. “I’m surprised you never served me. I’ve been coming here for what? Seven months?”

“Eight.” You bite your bottom lip as soon as the word slips out, trying to shut yourself up so you won’t mess up even more. What were you thinking? Well, you weren't…

His eyes immediately glow, and you wonder if you fucked up for good.

“So you’ve been keeping an eye on me?” He brings the bottle to his mouth and before you can say anything, you watch him finishing it in one go.

“I just noticed you.” Of course, you kept an eye on him, but you played it down a little.

“Well, I didn’t notice you,” he says regretfully. “And I wonder how. I am pretty aware of my surroundings... especially if they are full of beautiful people like you.”

You can’t help but blush, yet you try to sound unaffected. You don’t know if you succeed or not, though.

“This place is usually so crowded and full of… people. So it’s normal.”

“Neah,” he denies immediately. “Have you been hiding or something?”

“I was just on the other side of the bar.” And you were trying to hide from him, saving yourself from this embarrassment because you knew if you talked to him you would fuck up. You were right.

“So I was on the wrong side this whole time.” He shakes his head. “Another beer, please, doll.”

“The same?” You ask while trying not to dwell on the pet name he uses.

“Yes, please. And one drink for you. Whatever you want, if you are allowed to drink, of course.”

The way he offers to buy you a drink surprises you. You feel quite nervous, but you try to maintain your calm. He’s probably just being nice, right? 

“I am allowed to drink, but that’s not necessary.”

He pouts. “I didn’t mean you need to talk to me for it, doll. There are no conditions for this drink.”

“Oh.” You didn’t even think he would take it this way. “That’s not why I said it’s not necessary. I wasn’t worried about that.”

“Okay. Whatever you want... I won’t insist.”

“It’s just… I am allowed to drink whatever I want. You don’t need to pay for it.” You try to explain so he won’t take it the wrong way.

“Alright,” he says, a little distant, as you open up another bottle of beer and put it in front of him. 

“I just didn’t want you to pay extra when I can get it for free.” You don’t know why you are explaining yourself like this. It’s normal not to accept drinks from customers.

“It’s fine, I totally understand. Thank you!” He reaches for the bottle immediately.

You take a fancy glass out of the rack and pour yourself one of the ready-to-serve cocktails that your colleague prepared, right in front of him. He doesn’t say anything as he keeps staring at your hands.

“Thanks for the drink.” You say while putting the bottle away.

“Me?” He asks surprised. “Thought this is on the bar.”

“Well, you gave me the idea, and if you really insist on spending your money so unnecessarily, who am I to stop you?”

“That’s a good attitude.” He smiles again before bringing his bottle close to your glass. “Cheers to a good Thursday in a lovely company.”

You clink your glass with a smile on your face. It seems like he finally understood your intention, so you feel relieved. 

“How does that taste?”

“Don’t let the color fool you, it tastes really strong but delicious.” You look at him for a second and notice that got his interest. “Wanna taste it?” You offer your own drink to him, and he contemplates for a few seconds before leaning in.

“Yes, I am curious.”

You hand the glass to him. Your fingers touch for a second, and you get so excited that you worry about dropping the glass. It’s like your heart is in your throat.

“Your hands are cold,” he comments casually before taking a sip right from the spot covered by your lipstick. You gasp. You have no idea if he did it on purpose, but the way he’s drinking it… your body is responding to that so much. You clear your throat, trying to calm yourself down. 

“Delicious.” He smiles, handing back your glass, and you notice a bit of lipstick in the corner of his mouth.

It creates this internal dilemma. Should you just let him know about it or act like nothing happened and let him walk around like this? The second one could cause him a lot of embarrassment, and you don’t wanna be the reason for that. That’s why you suddenly find yourself leaning closer to him, just to wipe the lipstick off. He doesn’t move an inch, not jumping like you would expect, letting you touch him. When you realize what you are doing, you suddenly feel super self-conscious. 

“You…” You gulp down. “You have… lipstick on… just here.” 

You keep rubbing your finger against the corner of his mouth. You feel his stubble and how soft his lips are, but you try not to think about it. He chuckles, covering your hand with his. It surprises you so much that you freeze for a second. Then you look into his eyes, struggling to see if you made him feel uncomfortable or not.

“So considerate of you. Thank you.”

You move your hand away from his mouth but not away from his touch. Somehow you can’t find the strength to do that. 

What he does next, though, makes you completely breathless. He brings your hand to his mouth again, but this time he presses his lips gently against your skin, smiling right after. Your eyes open with surprise, feeling completely speechless, yet you don’t move away. You don’t even realize you are smiling slightly.

“Your hands are still so cold.”

“Yeah…” You try to speak, but it feels like your words are stuck in your throat. “They are always cold.”

“We need to change that.” He places another kiss on your hand.

*

He’s surprisingly nervous as he leads you to the living room. Based on his confidence back in the bar, you didn’t expect him to become so shy all of a sudden.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“No.” You answer quickly. The only thing you want is to feel his lips again but you keep that thought to yourself.

“What do you want then?” 

It’s obvious in his tone and the way he looks at you he doesn’t ask you about drinks.

“You.” You can’t believe you said this out loud, but it’s the truth.

He doesn’t need another push as he comes closer, grabbing you by the chin. Your lips crash together with an almost desperate hunger. He takes the opportunity immediately, getting his tongue inside your mouth in a fervent exploration. The sensation is electrifying.

You let him explore your mouth while you focus on his taste. It’s so unique and tasty, you just can’t get enough of it. Your hands slowly move toward the back of his head, pulling him closer.

“Fuck,” he groans when he feels your touch, breaking the kiss just to move his lips to your neck. 

“Mhmm… James.” His lips feel so good against your neck. It just sends a jolt of arousal through your body.

But then he freezes, with his mouth glued to your neck. You open your eyes confused wanting to ask him what happened, and that’s when you realize what you’ve just said.

“You know who I am?” His voice is a warm whisper against your skin.

“Of course, I know who you are.” You make it sound so natural as if there’s no way you wouldn’t know who he is. “You think I go to the houses of men I don’t know?” You say playfully.

“I didn’t mean that...” He raises his head from the crook of your neck just to look you in the eye. “I didn’t mean it offensively, I just wasn’t sure. I’m just stupid, I didn’t expect it.”

“I know who you are, James Bucky Barnes.”

“Fuck,” he groans, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip. “Say it again.”

“James Bucky Barnes or just James?”

He kisses you more desperately than before, his hands finding your hips as he gently grabs them, pulling you so close that you can feel his erection. You gasp so softly, but he hears it anyway, and you settle on his hard cock so it’s right against where you want it to be.

He moans. “Let’s go to the bedroom, doll.”

“Why?” You ask innocently as if you don’t know what he means. “Isn’t your couch comfortable enough?”

For him? Sure. But for you?

“The bed is better.”

“Okay.” You sound so obedient suddenly as you wrap your legs around his torso.

He immediately lifts you up without effort, and you smile, letting him carry you toward his room. He’s a super soldier after all. He closes the door with his foot as soon as you’re inside, then he gently puts you on the bed, like he’s afraid you might break. The way he’s acting is so endearing, but you want him to let go really badly. Even the manner he starts to take off your pants is too gentle.

You let him undress you the way he wants, though. Then you move closer to him, taking his clothes off, your movements not as gentle as his. You are impatient and needy. You see him holding his breath when you reach to touch his chest, close to where his metal arm begins, so you lean in to leave a kiss right there. You don’t know if you are crossing a line, but you have to. He should know that this is not something that would bother you, on the contrary, it turns you on even more. When he doesn’t move away from you, you keep kissing around his scars and his chest. Your hand is on his shoulder, gently caressing.

 “That feels so good, doll,” he says with a sigh before he grabs your waist. “but it's time for me to eat.”

You find yourself on your back so suddenly that you don’t even have time to react. He quickly settles between your legs and you understand exactly what he meant. He lifts them enough so you can rest them on his shoulders as he gets more comfortable on his tummy. You feel a hole in your stomach immediately. You can’t believe Bucky is between your thighs, about to eat you out.

He’s taking his sweet time at first, kissing down your thighs and even smelling you before he finally brings his tongue to your entrance.

“Come on, James. Don’t tease me.” You look down just to see him smiling.

“Why not? You seem to enjoy it.”

“I would enjoy it more if you stopped teasing and started eating.”

Surprisingly, Bucky doesn’t waste more time and properly starts to fuck you with his tongue. He’s not too quick, nor too slow with his moves, and you’re shocked when he brings his fingers to your mouth. 

“Need you to make them wet for me, please.” Even while saying that, he sounded a little too polite.

“On one condition,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “Stop acting like I am made of glass.”

“But you kinda are.”

“I am not. Believe me.”

He says nothing, making sure to lick your slit before getting his tongue inside you again, his fingers, glued to your lips. You take it as a silent agreement and you open your mouth, suck his fingers, and let him wet them. When he thinks it’s enough, he gently takes them out and brings them right to your clit. He doesn’t touch it directly at first, teasing around it until you move your hips a little, needing to feel your clit stimulated.

“Please.” The way he’s taking his sweet time is so frustrating.

He lets his hand drop and instead of feeling his fingers on your clit, you feel his tongue at the same time he gets a finger inside you. You moan loudly, finally getting what you wanted from the start.

His other hand reaches for yours when he hears you grabbing the sheet, and you immediately hold it, enjoying how his cold metal feels. When you feel the second finger and he scissors both of them inside you, you’re shocked by how close you suddenly are. You can’t help but arch your back and move your hips, needing it faster.

He reads the signals pretty quickly and lets you use his mouth while he keeps pumping his fingers. It doesn’t take long for you to gasp, moan, and start to shake because of the pleasure he’s giving you. 

“James! Shit. I’m- gonna… ahh… come.”

You moan louder than you expected, dropping your head against his sheets, possessed by a great wave of pleasure. You want to tell him not to stop anything, but you can’t. And you don’t need to as he keeps licking and fingering you while you ride your orgasm out, prolonging it as much as possible.

When it’s done, you are feeling so good yet you are hungry for more. You raise your head a little and see Bucky still between your legs, but this time his beard is covered with your slick. He looks so handsome. His blue eyes are shining and his hair is all messy. It makes you wanna kiss him and that’s exactly what you do. You reach down to him, and he meets you in the middle, kissing you the way he was just eating you out: with passion and hunger.

He’s less gentle than before as you feel his hands grabbing your breasts, but it’s still not enough. You cover his hands with yours and push him to grab them harder than before. You let out a muffled moan while kissing him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You find yourself blushing like you two aren’t having sex. To mask your reaction, you reach out to his hard cock, gently grabbing it.

“Oh god,” he groans as he instinctively squeeze your breasts harder.

“Mhmm, yes.” You lean into his touch. “Just like that.”

Bucky looks at you as if you said something shocking. Is he not used to communicating during sex?

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“You’re surprising me for someone so delicate.”

“I told you, I am not.”

He smiles. “Do you wanna help me put on a condom then?”

“I would love to, but…” You smile. “What if I told you I am clean and on the pill?”

“Fuck, I need you.” He kisses you suddenly. “Now.”

“I am right here.” It sounds so calming. “You can take me however you want.”

You’re not only on your back in the next second, but you also have his cock lined up at your entrance.

“Jesus, doll! For a pretty little thing, you’re quite nasty.”

“I just know what I want.” And this is it.

He nods, wrapping your legs around his ass at the same time he pushes inside you. In a second, your head is thrown back while you moan loudly. The way he fills you is so delicious. It makes you feel so full but not uncomfortable.

“You’re taking me so well already.”

“Please…” You raise your hips to create more friction. “Please, move.”

He brings his mouth to your breast a little before he starts thrusting, making sure to leave a small hickey right on top of it. It hurts so good, and you moan without holding back. It is music to Bucky’s ears. He just wants to hear it again, so he does it again.

“You want it rough, don’t you?” He thrusts harder than before. “You’re so needy.”

“Yeah.” Your voice is so shaky already. “I told you already.”

“Told me what?” He teases. “I don’t remember.”

“That I am not made of glass.”

“No, you are made for me.” He brings his hand to your face to move the hair strands that cover your eyes. “For my cock.”

“In that case…” You don’t know where the sudden rush of confidence comes from. “You are made for me. To fill me up.” You move your hips again, trying to fuck yourself on him.

“Oh, god. You’re so fucking wet,” he moans. “I am, I’m gonna fill you up so much.” He kisses you suddenly, your teeth almost crashing together because of the thrusts, but you don’t care.

“Can’t wait.” You tease him. “Don’t hold back, okay?”

He says nothing, letting his head drop a little so he can suck on your neck properly. He’s definitely fucking you harder. He pulls until he’s almost completely out of you before thrusting inside you again. And again. And again. It takes your breath away. The way it makes you feel is indescribable. You lose the little remaining control you had and just turn into a moaning mess. 

“Say my name, baby. C-come on.”

“James?” You sound hesitant even if you don’t mean to because you don’t know which name he wants to hear.

“Again,” he begs, his metal arm on your leg pushing it right against his ass.

“James!” This one comes out so naturally. No questions, no hesitation. You just breathe out his name with a moan.

“God, you look so beautiful. So pretty with my cock inside you.” His thrusts get faster, and you have no idea how he can speak so well while you’re a mess.

“I’m so close,” you can barely say without taking a breath in the middle of the sentence.

“What do you want?”

“Just… harder.”

“Like this?” He asks, suddenly thrusting a little harder than before. “Or like this?”

“This! Yes! Just like this!”

“You just want it hard.” He whispers against your ear. “What a dirty girl.”

You hear him, but you can’t respond. You are too busy coming all over his cock, and it feels like you are in heaven. He continues to fuck you as the pleasure fades away, murmuring how pretty you are and how good you make him feel before he comes, too, grabbing the bedpost behind you with his metal arm. It makes a clicking sound, but you don’t care, opening your still foggy eyes just to watch him.

There’s so much come. You can already feel it dripping out of you as he keeps fucking you. You expect it to end soon, but it doesn’t. It goes on and on. The way he loses control as he comes just triggers another orgasm out of you. You would be surprised how quickly you could come again if it didn’t feel overwhelmingly good. You can’t think about anything other than him and the way he makes you feel.

His come is getting all over your thighs and ass, and the bed, as he moans. “Kakaya khoroshaya devochka.” What a good girl.

You can’t help but laugh despite not understanding a word of what he says. “Is that Russian?”

He opens his eyes, and the blue you love is almost completely grey. “Yes.” He sounds confused, too. 

“What does it mean?” Your afterglow can’t overshadow your curiosity. “If you don’t tell me, this isn’t happening again.” You try to make it obvious you aren’t serious with your playful tone. Especially not after those orgasms.

“Look at you, little and feisty, blackmailing me.” He chuckles before leaving a kiss on your lips. “I told you what a good girl you are. I didn’t realize I spoke in Russian.”

You laugh a little. “Say it again.” You give him the cutest look. “Please?”

“Ty moya khoroshaya devochka.” He repeats softly. You’re my good girl.

You don’t even realize how content you look as you keep smiling.

“Now, I can get used to that.”

“Say my name again, please.”

You love the neediness in his voice. “James?” You tilt your head a little. “Or would you prefer Bucky?”

“Fuck, it doesn’t matter.” His thumb is suddenly on your lips. “I can get used to that, too.”