#because i apparently like it angsty
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Grojband, but as a band from an early 2000s shoujo manga
#I was literally just going about my day and then this idea hit me like a truck and I couldn't do anything else until I drew this#I'm apparently still on the nostalgia train and have no real intention of getting off anytime soon lol#next stop?#Who knows!#I pulled up so many reference images for this only to use like three of them T-T#you bet i made a bunch of sketches of them to make up for it!#you can probably tell which two mangas I referenced for this this#also this style is so hard???#artists just draw like this all the time???#just drawing laney nearly drained away all my sanity#also yes they are aged up because there is no way that they could look this dramatic and angsty at their actual ages XD#have i mentioned how much i love tumblr#I get to rant as much as i want down here and no one cares lol#grojband#corey riffin#laney penn#kin kujira#kon kujira#anime and manga#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#grojband fanart#shoujo manga#artist on tumblr#my art
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wip wednesday
thanks to @eowon @sibylsleaves @eddiebabygirldiaz and @disasterbuckdiaz for the tag today 💖 a little from my dial drunk song inspired fic
“I thought you and Natalia had big plans,” Chimney frowns as he sits next to Hen, scooping a large serving of eggs on his plate. “We uh,” Buck says, releasing Eddie as he goes to sit down in the chair Bobby pulled out for him, “we sort of broke up.” An awkward pause gives way to a heavy silence as everyone shifts their gaze from Buck to Eddie. As if he had something to do with this. Eddie straightens immediately, muscle tense as he grips the back of the nearest chair for support. “Or, well,” Buck continues as he haphazardly butters a piece of toast, “she broke up with me.” The way he says it makes Eddie’s hair stand on end. Breakups are hard, even when you see them coming a mile away, but Eddie knows Buck. He knows the way his words curl around his tongue when he’s not saying what he means, when there’s something deeper, more rooted to the problem than what Buck actually shows them. He’s sure another failed relationship just a couple of months after the disaster that was Taylor Kelly (and the lingering haunt of his romantic history) hits Buck hard, especially when Natalia seemed to be a near perfect fit. But there’s something else. Something, he can tell, that Buck is forcing himself to swallow. “Do you want to talk about it?” Hen asks after a moment, disrupting the weird tension in the room. Buck forces a smile, “Nah,” he shrugs one of his shoulders in an attempt to appear nonchalant, “the bottom line was that it wasn’t going to be a forever thing and Natalia deserves someone that will always put her first.” That sounds a little closer to the truth.
tagging @hoodie-buck @loserdiaz @barbiediaz @bigfootsmom @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @wildlife4life @devirnis
#buddie#buddie wip#911#literally just wrote this because apparently i can only write like 300 words at a time rn#also lord why is this so angsty lmao
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Quite curious to why you thought that Ink's dads were a diservice to his character in the first place lmao
man I don't even knooooow???? (´;ω;`)
I think I was just really up my own ass and that 1) i forgot that my interpretation of ink isn't the popular one, and basically no one knew of him. and that 2) I forgot I didn't create him lol.......
I was like 'him having dads doesn't make sense cuz he's supposed to be lonely' and like. no man.... u didn't make him what do u mean 'supposed to'.......
probably also bcuz I was pretty salty that a selfcest ship (<- something that makes me MAD uncomfortable) was canon to my special interest, and coming across something that makes me mad when I'm just trying to enjoy my interest pissed me off (。ノω\。)
but honestly every other point I made was kinda stupid lmao..... like it was my first ever L........
#got into arguments with strangers over it. it was crazy.#I remember replying to each of them at like 4 am half awake barely knowing what I was typing.#but also like. it did rise an interesting point.#someone told me that ink's dads are actually important because they're the ones that made her love again.#and when I asked 'why the hell is he cured of his soullessness now???'#someone else told me that he didn't actually love them and apparently it was this super sad thing that he didn't love them back and...#it's SO exhausting. ink just CANNOT have a relationship with ANYBODY without the authors being like-#'but he can't love them!!!! isn't it sad that he can't love omg he can't feel love so angsty!!!!'#who CAAAAAARES if he doesn't love them back omg.... ink cares about those two old geezers enough to consider them his DADS.#but people just can't stop dragging around his 'condition' for cheap angst my gad.....#ink sans#🖍️#💌#it's kinda crazy that u never hear this 'he can't love them back' argument when he's being shipped with the new sans of the week 😗#but that's neither here nor there.....
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Me: *creates an OC*
Me: *heavily implies OC will meet a bad fate*
OC: *meets bad fate*
Me:
(Alternatively, I may have started it, but @katkastrofa enabled me and now I’m losing my mind)
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#first rule of interacting with Nia: don’t suggest a dark/whumpy/extremely angsty concept to them#they’ll take it and run a marathon with it and next thing you know their own ideas are making them cry#this is just what happens when I start developing an OC during a rough time in my life#happens every time. guess who came up with Summiya’s fall from grace after their college application fell through??#and since Summiya has a more or less completed storyline. it’s now someone else’s turn#namely Jia’s. also Sunat’s but. mostly Jia’s. Sunat is more angst than whump and I’m craving PAIN#I’ve been frothing at the mouth thinking about Jia all day#just.. imagine how terrified she must have been when she was brought before Jusamah. when he said that he’d make her talk one way or another#and if she doesn’t want to obey and confess willingly… something else can be arranged#how her fear got even worse when she was dragged into the palace dungeons. when she saw the whipping post#begging for mercy as she was stripped and tied. swearing on her life that she doesn’t know anything. that she’s innocent#rambling incoherently right up until the first hit lands. after that it’s just screams and sobs and barely audible ‘I don’t know’s#all the while she’s yelled at by a man three times her age who refuses to believe that she truly doesn’t know anything#and she doesn’t. all she did was point Aiza in a direction. she has no proof she even went in it#I don’t want to get to graphic here but let’s just say I read an article on whipping and it’s.. it’s bad#the aftermath is brutal and bloody and passing out from the pain would be a mercy#and afterwards… I do think someone is called to tend to her so she doesn’t bleed to death before they can get a confession out of her#and that person is kind. if a little detached emotionally. and likely her back could have been salvaged if the whipping didn’t repeat#but it did. because they need her to confess. maybe the excruciating pain of reopened wounds will get her to talk…#it doesn’t. she never says anything. and after a while they move on from torture to locking her up and starving her#maybe that’ll finally break her. perhaps she’s still whipped occasionally even afterwards but for the most part she’s just left alone-#in some dark cell and questioned occasionally. it lasts anywhere from weeks to months and yet she never gives out the one detail she knows#because Aiza’s safety depends on it and she knows Aiza’s punishment will be much worse than hers if she’s caught#but anyway. enough of the bloody horror show. instead think about what it must’ve been like for her parents#the town is alight with scandal following the disappearance of Lady Aiza. you know a bit about her since your daughter works for her#you don’t hear from your daughter for a while. eventually someone tells you that she’s been convicted of helping Lady Aiza run away#she’s been under interrogation since. no one’s seen her but rumour has it they’re torturing her. there’s little you can do as a poor family#you request an audience with Lord Jusamah. it takes a long time to to be granted but eventually you’re before him begging for your daughter#apparently she’s proven to be a useless waste of resources so she’s released to you. you barely recognise her. AND I REACHED TAG LIMIT FML
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WIP Word Train!
Rules: tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share a sentence/excerpt from your wips that start with that letter.
Tagged by @ahyperactivehero with the word 🖤SCARY🖤- Thank you :D
S - “Set up to fail once it’s turned on, looks like,” says Charles.
C - Charles has tried so fucking hard never to let Edwin see him as weak, but when have Charles’ efforts ever been good enough?
A - Agony throbs through his hands and spreads up his arms, blazing and relentless, but pain is an old, long-familiar enemy, and pushing past it is nothing new.
R - Rowan has purifying and magic-cancelling properties.
Y- “You’re not cold,” he says, with certainty that he can feel down to his long-buried bones.
my word: FIGHT
No-pressure tags: @williamvapespeare, @regretsofaghost, @deadtwinksdetectiveagency, @babyseraphim
#DeadBoyDetectives#fandom#I feel like I've skewed very angsty here but well... accurate#this is a mix of two different WIPs because one didn't have anything good for Y#also apparently I start very few sentences with R?
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got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom
#liveblogging.pdf#apparently coding isn't the only thing that thing is ass at. fetching basic information is too#i mean i Wanted to read it anyway and i knew it wasnt queer before. idk why i let chatgpt gaslight me into believing i was making it up#whatever. neither the main character nor her best friend are textually queer or in love with each other. they're both pretty boy crazy tbh#but the mc is giving big aro vibes. like she's so done with her best friend every time she starts talking about men or crushes#also her crush on this guy is giving extremely platonic im not biased i swear#she just throws herself at him because she thinks itd be cool to date her besties crushs bff#so she could feel normal like her#they do have a cute friendship though. mc and the guy. also they start dating like 2 seconds after her bff dies so it's not really romantic#also theres a very cool lesbian who gets more pagetime than the guy and whos friendship with mc is super angsty so#w#its a really good book ok i just went in with really wrong expectations#like a sapphic hiaylm#but every day i grow closer to the great truth of my life that sapphic hiaylm will never exist#and i should stop looking for it and find the beauty in things for their originality and what they are#anyway in this case the lack of sapphicness did not detract from the book at all dont get me wrong#i just found it funny
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can I just say that the fact that jake gyllenhaal still has a job and a platform is exactly the evidence we need that the way 5sos partners and exes are treated is straight up misogyny
#like even when the original version of red was released and people guessed atw was about him#but even more so after the release of red tv and now the manuscript#whereas if [5sos member] ever straight up said even one of their angsty songs was about [already disliked ex] you know what’d happen#and this band is like. and I mean this affectionally of course because it doesn’t make them unsuccessful. not even that famous#when someone actually grooms someone and they write songs about that impact on them no one cares apparently. but then once a relationship#has any kind of age gap people are quick to accuse women of grooming or literally any dirt they can dig on them (there’s always some)#grooming cw#in the tags but. anyway I’ll stop ranting now#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#taylor swift#jake gyllenhaal#all too well#the manuscript
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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It's pretty insane that saying that arwen could have been done so much better is met with such disdain. And the way I'm seen as an Arthur stan or Gwen hater by saying that. I'm literally saying the both of them deserved better..?
Gwen (and Arthur let's be completely real here) was a victim of a show that was chronically inconsistent in their characterizations of people. She suffered (as Arthur did) from a story line that I'm sorry is just really bad. And you can still love Gwen and Arthur from legend. But I can still say this interpretation falls short in showing the growth of their relationship in a way that feels real and not just .. necessary.
#bbc merlin#once again. no this is not because i ship merthur#i think there are moments i really like of Arthur and Gwen interacting and i think merlins interactions w both of them are sweet#but it feels so forced#youre telling me yall didnt feel the difference between s1 and 2 and on?#you didnt notice how they went from polite but distant to 😍 from nowhere#if they had just shown us some sort of hate to friends to lovers but it was rushed#in the span of one episode she goes from detesting him to kissing him and liking it and then later being lovesick#and for arthur he goes from learning modesty in s1 to becoming a complete prat again (for the Jokes you understand)#to completely lovesick with her and angsty because he doesnt want to have a secret relationship and his father wont accept her#that rationale is fine if it didnt just come out of fuckin nowhere#that's all im saying#its so rushed#and for what?? they could have spent time and energy having that build up with merlin watching it happen#and instead the writers decide to just tell us instead idk#but apparently that means i hate gwen and woc and whatever other bullshit
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Like most people, Pit doesn't remember much of his early years. Many times when he thought he was recounting his first time experiencing something or meeting someone, Palutena left out a small laugh quickly followed by "That's not how I remember it". Most of the time she refused to elaborate what she meant by that, but sometimes she did tell Pit something new - like how during their first meeting, Pit had had the audacity to pull Palutena's hair and then laugh at her when she had yelped in pain. He had tried to apologize, only for Palutena to assure him that everything had been forgiven long ago and it was now nothing more than a funny story to think back on whenever she needed something to laugh at. Pit found it weird yet comforting at the same time; it wasn't really something he'd happily look back into, but if it brought joy to Palutena maybe it wasn't all that bad after all. Everyone needed good memories to look back into.
Occasionally when he was dreaming, Pit found himself recounting past events in his head. Some memories were good, others bad, at times they were so hazy he had hard time understanding what was actually going on. Usually he however had a grasp of what actually happened, but this night was shaping out to be different. It was the night following the day after Palutena had told him about the hairpulling incident when Pit had a dream in which the events she had described happened exactly as she had told to him excluding few differences - most surprisingly there was one other person in the room, a man Pit didn't remember ever meeting but who felt familiar anyway. He too was laughing at Palutena's reaction and when he raised his hands, Palutena gladly handed the younger boy to him, much to the joy of the child as well. Something inside Pit felt warm and fuzzy as he watched the younger version of himself happily babble to the man while he pretended to understand, and he wasn't quite sure what it was.
After that night, more forgotten memories resurfaced every so often. All of them were simple and casual, with nothing all that important ever happening; sometimes he was drawing, other times he was trying to eat food from the floor, couple of times Palutena was there as well to laugh at his antics. Only thing that was always there was the man watching over him, and it was clear to Pit that he meant a lot for his younger self. Considering the way he always looked at the little boy, the feeling seemed to be mutual and at times Pit couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of his younger self for all the positive attention he received. It however always quickly gave a way to the familiar warm and fuzzy feeling, though now it was also mixed with a hint of sadness. By each new memory Pit came to understand that feeling better; he was yearning, yearning for something he had forgotten, for someone who was no longer with him, for this spesific form of happiness to be present in his life again. And just like that the dreams seemed to end, as if there was nothing left to remember anymore.
It would take a while before Pit would be dreaming of a forgotten memory again, and this time it wasn't nearly as pleasant as the last ones. His younger self was quietly sobbing in Palutena's arms while the goddess did her best to calm him down, and she wasn't looking to be in the best state of mind herself either. She kept repeating that things would be okay, but it just left Pit more confused; what had just happened?
For following months, it felt like dreams actively avoided Pit. Between the fragmented memories he had had normal dreams like everyone else, yet now nothing seemed to await him when he fell asleep. All that did was give the yearning room to grow even stronger, for Pit desperately tried to cling into the warmth he had felt back then. Did some part of him want to forget it all? If so, why? He would end up finding that out soon.
The next time Pit fell asleep, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that he was indeed dreaming, only for that feeling to quickly fade. He realized that he was in the exact same room he had been the last time he had remembered something, where Palutena had tried to comfort his younger self; Pit couldn't help but feel like everything was going to fall apart soon, he just wasn't sure how it would happen. His younger self was playing with his toys in the adult-sized bed, blissfully ignorant of what would soon fall upon him - and it did indeed happen quite soon, as the door to the room opened and a familiar figure walked in, now donned in armor rather than the casual tunics Pit remembered him wearing. His younger self didn't seem to realize that, looking just as happy as usual and wobbled to him, where he then would pick the toddler up. He hugged Pit's younger self, kissed his forehead and then he said something that would keep on haunting the young angel. Prior to this, Pit had never heard anything the man had said in the memories clearly, so hearing him say "I'm so lucky to have you" to his younger self made his heart to skip a beat. He was so focused on that single sentence that he couldn't pay any attention to other things he was saying, everything else was trivial at the moment. And for that silent moment everything felt perfect, only thing breaking the tender moment being a yawn by Pit's younger self. The man laughed and kissed the toddler's forehead again, only for the child to grumpily pull his hair this time. The man laughed a second time before speaking again: "You do know that I have to go, do you?"
Pit's younger self said something, but the only thing present Pit could make out of the toddler's words was an extremely displeased "Don't". The words were soon followed by another yawn, and the man hugged the child one more time before putting him down to the bed, giving him a stuffed toy dog and patting his head.
"I'll be back before you wake up, okay? I'll be back soon", he said and Pit's younger self seemed to now be convinced, as all the toddler now said was a quiet "Okay" while thightly grasping his plush toy. Pit didn't know exactly what would happen next, but what he did know was that this was the last time they would see each other - he would soon enough be crying in Palutena's arms while she tried to comfort him, and the man whose attention and love he had been yearning for past few months would vanish into thin air. The young angel's heart was aching, he wanted to run to the man, scream for him to not leave, but his feet felt heavy and throat dry all the sudden, leaving him both still and voiceless. All Pit could do was watch as he put on a helmet and left the room, all the while his younger self was too sleepy to protest. Once his younger self finally fell asleep in the dream, Pit found himself waking up in the real world. It didn't take long for him to realize that he had been crying.
Was this why Palutena never elaborated on anything, because she knew what yearning was and what it felt like to yearn for something or someone?
#a quick phone drabble to distract me from the fact that I'm sick#my writing#drabble#very much just me writing the first things that came to my mind & letting it flow from there#kid icarus#kid icarus uprising#ki#kiu#pit#this was originally meant to be funny. as in 'palu tells pit some embarrasing childhood memories & he's horrified'#maybe pittoo getting some second hand embarrassment in the side#and then it turned angsty all the sudden because apparently i like making pit suffer. damn.#me when i'm supposed to write something funny and then make pit yearn for a war god: 😅😅😅#though would pittoo get second hand yearning in this case? 🤔
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I should be asleep or studying for my last final, but instead I'm learning how to use AO3 and hot damn these tags are specfic
#i usually just use the FFN app because it has text-to-speech built in#there are so many new terms#it's like I'm discovering fanfic all over again#whump#it's such a deceptively cute term#taking recommendations for long fics to listen to while commuting#any series but apparently angsty hurt/comfort smut is the genre of the season
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it’s so funny how i rewatch s1 anthony scenes and i don’t give a shit about him (unless i really try to keep in mind what we know about him and try to understand what’s going on behind the facade/beyond what the show dictates we should see because it’s definitely not from his pov) and then i watch s2, particularly from ep 3 onwards, and suddenly it’s like, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is my dumbass idiot
#ramble.txt#bridgerton#sorry i keep posting about this skfjgnfk#i might've moved fandoms but i'm not sure yet#this show really came at the perfect time#when there's nothing new from seb and people were mourning (?) the apparent state of AM atm#i mean. who cares?? seb made his choice and afaik it wasn't just because of the slow car that he decided to retire#anyway. i actually like anthony's s1 hair but not the sideburns#the sideburns and hair were especially atrocious in 1x08#before that it was passable#and i would love to know if they makeupped him to look tired almost all the time because he certainly doesn't look that way in s2#the van dusen dude mentioned that they broke anthony at the end of s1 so maybe that look was intentional#do i think about this/him too much? yes i do#it's such a delight to have new things#tangentially: i wonder if there are any fics out there of violet dying in childbirth (hyacinth survives) and suddenly anthony has 7 kids to#look after all on his own in addition to the title and the estate and omg#tangentially again: i really like how the show leaves it open to interpretation how much angst you want to assign to anthony#i just rewatched bits of 2x01 and the part where violet's like 'you will end up alone' and anthony stops and then he's like 'good day mother#yeah i just. you can interpret that in so many different ways from non-angsty ('omg whatever') to very angsty (maybe i deserve to be alone)#and i just think that's cool#uh ANYWAY#(i might gif that scene btw. MIGHT.)#anyway i'm out#//#actually i ... maybe i wanna gif his last scene in 1x08 too#hmmm#maybe that could be one gifset
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i think a perfect microcosm of the phenomenon of "fanon aylin" is all these posts calling her an eight or nine foot tall giant woman when she's like idk 6'3
#like i feel like i finally understand what 'coomer' means#you're gross. it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable how people talk about her. like mad and disgusted in a way i'm rlly#struggling to describe just like. you're fuckin groooosssss. i hate you you're gross#maybe it's just the religion thing like something about everyone's willingness to buy in so fully to the concept that aasimar are like#Superior Beings like they're Better Than Us#but also aylobel isn't weird or creepy at all don't worry about it#like hmm. hmmmmmmmmm#no tags on this one i don't feel like dying today#but since i am shouting into the void#📣📣 I HATE AYLOBEL THEY'RE SO FUCKING BORING#god how so many people are into that ship is beyond me they are the most boring pairing ever#imagine writing a couple who apparently were in love at first sight but have literally no chemistry. couldn't be me#imagine writing a child of a god dating a worshipper of that god and not making it angsty or fraught at all. Could Not Be Me#they suck so hard. this game made me cry over lenore and yrre but made these big important characters this boring?#i have to assume they were/felt forced to make them super sterile because of homophobia or something#which is sad but like. hmm you could have been brave though you could have given them a crumb of backstory#you could have made them anything in the world but *love at first sight* like god my burning hatred for that is boundless#like does anyone actually like that trope i thought we all agreed it was boring as shit#are y'all really that starved for femslash that you'll eat any bullshit they put in front of you damn#because i'll say it again alfira and lakrissa are right there#and cuter and more interesting in every conceivable way. but that's all bisexuals— oop#tbd
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Damian had watched as his family slowly unraveled after Ma's call. He didn't understand how they had taken her "you don't get to see Tim until you stop trying to use him" and turned it into "you have spent all your chances with him so you don't get to see him or talk to him ever again". Damian knew Ma had meant that they should find a way to solve their problems as adults without using Timothy as a crutch and then they could see or talk to Timothy as a part of their family instead of just based on his usefulness.
Father and Richard hadn't seen it that way. Grayson had spent the next weeks alternating between moping and getting into screaming matches with Father, then storming out of the house and disappearing for days. It was clear that he was being consumed by guilt but instead of trying to find a way to fix things, he seemed to be mourning Timothy, even when he was alive and well, just out of reach. Father had started spending more and more time in the cave. He initially seemed to be trying to bypass Timothy's security features. Once he realized he would not succeed, he had decided to start going through all his contacts, trying to get Timothy's current information. Based on his rising frustration he hadn't been successful.
They hadn't asked Damian. If they had, he probably would have called Timothy from his phone, allowing them to make contact without giving them the information. He had informed his brother of the situation and they both had agreed that that was the best course of action if it were to happen, as unlikely as it sounded. Damian had initially said he could just pretend not to have the information but Timothy had insisted that he didn't want his little brother taking heat for keeping it hidden. Not when he had Timothy there to protect him, even if from afar. Damian had reluctantly agreed. They didn't ask. They barely even noticed Damian. In those weeks they didn't acknowledge him more than a handful of times and only for a brief greeting or a hair ruffle. Alfred had taken refuge on his role as a butler and rarely stopped to talk anymore. The manor was big enough for him to have infinite places to clean and avoid his feelings. So he did.
Damian remembered the last time he had met with Timothy. They had talked. Damian had apologized for his early murder attempts and Timothy had accepted it. They talked for hours about the family dynamics and the differences between their upbringing, along with the similarities, and the cultural norms both around the league and their family. Damian could remember thinking to himself that it would have been very useful to have that knowledge when he had just arrived in Gotham. It made him regret his treatment of Timothy, even if Timothy didn't blame him for it anymore (or ever, according to their chat).
The part of the conversation Damian kept replaying in his head wasn't exactly about that. Timothy had told him about his life, both growing up without parental supervision and then becoming an emotional support Robin for the good of Gotham. He told Damian a story about neglect that didn't end when his parents died. He made sure to highlight the behaviors within the Bats that had led him into distancing himself from them and eventually realizing it was time to leave.
"i don't think they mean to, not really. They're just prone to lose themselves on the latest problem in front of them, making everything else blurry and unimportant until they completely forget about anything unrelated to what they're trying to solve" Timothy had said. "They're detectives with a puzzle. They don't know how to stop. They assume the world around them stays the same until they emerge from their current obsession and are surprised when that isn't the case, usually leading to a second deep dive into the next problem born out of neglect."
Timothy had stopped for a second then continued with a thoughtful look on his face. Damian hadn't truly realized it was for his benefit more than Timothy's. "For example, when you came to the manor, Bruce was trying to bring Jason back to the manor while keeping him in his mind as the 15 year old but he had been when he died. He couldn't figure out why it didn't work but refused to acknowledge all the changes Jason had had in the past years and therefore couldn't recognize the person in front of him with the image he previously had of his son. That's why he was so distant with you at the beginning. Dick tried to compensate for it as he usually did whenever Bruce got into one of his moods. That meant he started cancelling plans with me and switching his focus to you entirely while putting me aside, since, from his perspective, I was 'fine' and you needed him more, never even considering that a big part of that was because of the attention he was paying me or how it would affect me to suddenly take it away for no reason."
He had given Damian more examples after that. Timothy had reassured him that it wasn't his fault or his responsibility but it was still important for him to have the information and know the signs. Timothy had made him promise that if it ever got that bad for him, that he wouldn't wait as long as Timothy had or endure the neglect hoping that it would get better if he gave them enough time. He had made him promise that he would come to Timothy if it came to that. No matter what.
Knowing his decision had already been made, he started packing his bags. Only the essentials. And his animals. He couldn't trust his Father or Grayson to take care of them when they barely remembered to take care of themselves on a good day, let alone now. He called for Jon and texted the Kents. They agreed to house Batcow, Titus and Jerry on the farm. Alfred (the cat) was staying with him and he would ask Timothy about bringing Titus to live with them later.
He took a look around the room, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. He decided to leave his finished paintings, he could always make new ones and he didn't want to travel with too many things, even if he was going via Kryptonian. He could always come back if he forgot something important (he probably wouldn't). He hesitated for a second then took the framed picture on his nightstand and carefully shoved it into his bag. It was one of the ones they had taken after Timothy had rescued Father. Everyone was in it, Brown, Cassandra, Gordon, Todd, Richard, Father, Pennyworth, Thomas, and Damian. Everyone but Tim. They looked happy. Now it also felt incomplete. Damian still took it.
He left his bags in his room and took one last lap around the manor, waiting until the last minute to put Alfred in his carrier. He didn't find anyone even though he made sure to go through their preferred spots. He was ready. He texted Jon to come pick him up. Clark was going to come by later to take the rest of his pets. He stood in the middle of the main hall and whispered a last goodbye before going back to his room and opening the window for an already waiting Jon.
🐦🐦🐦
Damian rubbed his hands on his pants and took a deep breath to gather his courage. He closed his eyes for a few seconds then knocked on the door. It opened immediately, familiar eyes watched him with a knowing sadness. Damian opened his mouth and closed it a couple times before the words finally came to him. His brother waited patiently. "Timo... Tim. Can I stay with you for a while?" Timothy smiled at him.
"Of course, Dames. Come on in. You can stay as long as you want." He stepped to the side to let him into the apartment and took his bags from him with a hug. The door closed behind them. "I'm proud of you, kid" Damian heard him whisper and felt warmth fill his chest. Yes, this had been the correct choice.
Bruce comes back from the dead and wants to make things better. Bruce comes back from the dead and Tim was the one who brought him back, so it's obviously Tim who'll know best how to help him reconnect with everyone.
It's Tim who should give him advice on how to bond with Dick. Dick has always been his idol, after all. Tim would know best how to bring him back, and he does. He gives good advice and the two of them begin to get closer.
So Bruce asks about Jason, too. Asks about how to bring his son back into the fold and Tim wished for a brief and brutal moment that it weren't so obvious who the favorite was.
Tim told Bruce to give Jason his space, to loosen his rules, and make it clear that no matter what the Red Hood did, no matter what the Batman believed in, Jason was always welcome. Bruce would always want him.
It worked. Bruce wasn't surprised. Tim was a special sort of bitter.
Bruce asked again for Damian and Tim had to push down his anger. "That boy tried to kill me," Tim wanted to say. "I hate him and I want you to hate him too so that I can remember a time when we had something in common," Tim didn't say, but he got close.
He instead told Bruce how Damian liked art and animals and loved hearing stories of the wonders of Batman.
He told Bruce just how much Damian loved being Robin. Told Bruce to tell Damian what a good Robin he was.
God bless or maybe damn him, but he did and it worked and Tim wanted to start screaming and clawing at something because that would have never worked if Tim tried it and it wouldn't have stopped Damian from cutting his line--something Bruce did not and would never know about.
Bruce asked about Babs. How should he make sure she knew that she was a part of the family? They they loved her and not just for the work she did?
He asked about Steph. How should he make sure she knew that she was more important than his rules and that, if something else should go wrong, she didn't need to run away?
He asked about Duke. He never got the chance to get to know him before leaving--not as well as he wanted to, at least. How should he let him know that he was just as much a son as everyone else? That, whether or not his parents woke up, he'd always be welcome?
He asked about Cass. How should he show her that he loves her even though he has nothing to teach her? How can he convey how much he cares about her, his first daughter?
Bruce gets brought back from time and he makes things better. He brings his family back together by following Tim's advice.
And Tim?
Tim brings his dad back from the dead and Bruce changes, becomes a better father.
Bruce changes, but not everything can.
That, Tim thinks, is why Bruce never calls Tim his son.
#is this accurate? no idea#was it what I planned when I decided to write a bit on Damian's pov? no#did I expect it to get this long? also no#do I regret it? not really#tbh I was initially going to go with a “to make it more angsty” format but decided to just keep the story going#did not expect Damian to leave too though ngl#apparently I wasn't done with the angst#I'd like to say eventually they pull their head out of their asses and start trying to make things right and reconnect with everyone else#it won't happen any time soon though. they still have to reach rock bottom and figure their shit out#angst#tw neglect#damian wayne#timothy drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#neglectful Bruce Wayne#also Damian keeps changing between Richard and Grayson on his mind because he's acknowedging the distance between them both#but also remembers when they were close and slips up sometimes#or tries to separate past Richard giving him affection from present Grayson ignoring him and leaving him alone
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#another thing that drives me crazy us that some parts of fandom made ut hard for ne to enjoy things I like#for example when series 2 only came out I was invested into all edits with sad songs#about how Aziraphale loves angel!Crowley and demon!Crowley suffers#and than you came into tegs and apparently some people will argue that it's canon and not angsty au#*tags#and now it leaves bad taste in my mouth#or like. brainwashed Aziraphale ir Aziraphale that scared and under treat can be tasty concepts#while it's treated as 'what if' and not as 'it's clearly canon and we will build all our understanding of his character on it'#or Aziraphale's black and white thinking or him still believing that angels are (should be) inherently good and heavens are better than hel#I think it is canon! it did played it's part in final fifteen! but I can't say it because I think it's neutral or even lovable part of#Aziraphale as character (sure real life person would be insufferable with thanking like this. but also I would kill someone real who drives#like Crowley! who cares!) and you can't put it in tags without treating this either as flaw he will and *should* overcome#or proof of him being bad/stupid/abusive#like I don't care!! I want to say 'look at him my baby thinks he's the smartest and most holy being in this room' and boop his little nose#I can't even enjoy angsty headcanons about Crowley being miserable without Aziraphale#because one they treat this as being Aziraphale's fault and two it's again treated as canon#like I can take only so much fucs where Crowley lays face down into pool of his tears thinking that he's the poores lost puppy ever being#while not giving two fucks about Aziraphale being in danger him own being asshole to him in final fifteen and oh yes SECOND COMING AROUND#anyway yes I'm a weak link and should be eliminated yes yes#yrs I block and try to not engage and after some weeks I tentatively ready to enjoy *some* of this things again#but yes I still want to complain!!#no people doesn't do anything wrong bu engaging with canon the way they find enjoyable#I can't stress enough that it's a me problem#but of course my hatred turned onto imaginary enemy
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You guys know not of the catastrophic squid sisters brainrot going on in my head rn
#rat rambles#splat posting#specifically abt them first becoming agents and being angsty 15 year olds or whatever#just marie being like god everyone sucks. I hate everyone. no one could ever understand my pain.#meanwhile callie is going through the Horrors#ok no theyre both going through the horrors but marie is a lot less aware of the depth of callies hashtag issues than callie is of maries#hashtag idol industy moments#ok back from making sure Im not insane with some lore stuff that I couldn't find anywhere I found it 👍#that took me like 20 minutes so imagine a 20 minute pause before that last tag#ok anyways apparently they were originally intended to main each other's current mains before having them swapped so I am validated#rly the real reason I need to think more abt early agent stuff is because I wanna see more of them actually interacting with their gramps#and he is a good gramps to them and also very concerned abt them lol
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