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dykedvonte · 3 months ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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mohntilyet · 2 months ago

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i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

#*my thoughts are ‘not fleshed out’ but i still wrote all this. LOL #i nearly answered this ask with the companion-illario au from my mind because i think vg needed a companion that lies to you LOL #but thats less 'illario didnt mean to do it' and more 'oh illario did it and just feels so guilty he goes on a one man crusade #against the venatori because he needs an outlet and both of them are known as magekillers'#he would have lied for most of the game about how lucanis got kidnapped/'killed' and resolves it by saving lucanis + confessing his guilt #this au had elements of 'it was an accident' but i kept flip flopping between if i wanted that or not lol #because . idk. i like when he purposefully does all this and then regrets it. my walking contradiction (slash i want him)#illario guilt inferiority and jealousy you all mean so much to me #but yeah. last point relates to the envyllario rewrite also from my mind #the idea of like. that caution vanishing because of the envy demon is quite fun for me #so spite makes lucanis a victim to his own anger and sense of justice #while envy refuses to let illario maintain his veneer of charm and forces him to act rashly despite his planning #ok. i have to stop talking. thank u anon for this because i am always looking for an excuse to chat shit #prompt me at any point to speak about illario and i honest to god will just be sat here thinking #actually it was pretty bad a few days ago when i was thinking about ways it could go for him in my aus and drawing a blank #and had the very clear thought 'i NEED to put my thinking cap on' which was . a bit humiliating #illario dellamorte #long post #answered #anonymous

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atomicengineerdetective · 1 year ago

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I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask

Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???

Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.

BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-

The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.

There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.

But above all else THE LYRICS

ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE

"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"

DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.

It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.

#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here.#WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND #I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.”#“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME #but oh well #BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me #could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show #On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan.#Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical #(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD)#Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy #its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED #Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer #Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues #I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative #BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it #And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode #Hazbin Hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #charlotte morningstar

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mueritos · 10 months ago

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its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.

i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??

my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.

again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.

#muerto talks #just rambling #maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice #i am just forever perplexed #learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy #learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities #learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz #there are zionists??? trying to be social workers??????#i literally have classes with zionists #some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people??#again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program #but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year #because i have no hope for them #and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it #and that fucking sucks #nothing in my body feels safe around those people #like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards #maybe im the one asking too much from these people.....#the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man

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lavander-galaxy · 11 months ago

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So I drew Alastor again but like I did it much better this time around LMAO

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor fanart #hazbin hotel alastor fanart #the only thing scarier than this man in his demon form #is how I used to draw him 😭😭#I tried to do him a bit more justice this time #because it is what he deserves #anyways I am unreasonably obsessed with drawing this idiot #i have a problem #but my frantic sketches of this man do not seem to be slowing down #so maybe I’ll post more of him #we will see LMAO

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stardustintheabyss · 1 year ago

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Kid me: clowns are creepy & scary

Adult me: ...I have something to tell you & you're not gonna like it. But on the bright side we're no longer scared of clowns.

#one piece #buggy the clown #impel down buggy #not only does he live rent free hes got me in a choke hold #feral for him💙#no because my face literally looked like this 😳 at the live action chair intro #Jeff Ward is doing my man justice #idfc what anyone says i am loving the live action #also like holy fuck mackenyu was born to be zoro #wouldnt be suprised if zoro got so lost he crossed realities to play zoro in live action one piece #also thank you queen nami for reminding me i am in fact a disaster bisexual 😩#s1e4

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mx-mix-lurker · 2 months ago

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I AM BACK FROM FINALS!!!!

Fellas, is it wrong to consider DS! Dream to be similar to Batman? Just a very, very, VERY murderous and unforgiving to criminals version of Batman who acts like an emotional constipated boy scout?

Not outwardly though. I'm pretty sure DS! Dream seems to be an emotionally available (specifically not emotionally vulnerable) kind of person to most. But it's canon that DS! Dream keeps people at a distance. And like, DS! Dream has a reputation to uphold and he is not about to be seen fumbling after his many, many efforts despite his anxiety. But man is in denial to the.. bad parts, of his extreme ideology that I'm pretty he has all those "negative/doubts" at the back burner of his mind and isn't about to confront what killing DS! Mare will end up like for him. What killing all criminals—instead of rehabilitating the few—would mean. Pretty sure that'll lead to a very meltdown, existential crisis, shutting down or possibly frantic acts of extreme redemptions. DS! Dream is a responsible kind of guy, so he'll definitely try to upheave the system (that he made) first to fix it first. Do a "leave no stones unturned" kind of thing.

But my point is that DS! Dream is like Batman who has Bruce Wayne's reputation (not being a playboy but a philanthropist) and Justice Reigns is like Wayne Enterprise.

#dreamswap #dreamtale au #dreamswap dream #dreamswapdream #dsdream #ds dream #just my thoughts and headcanons #because ITS CANON THAT DS DREAM WANTS TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD AND HE MADE AN ORGANIZATION FOR IT #IM PRETTY SURE JUSTICE REIGNS HAVE A FINGER IN ALL THE PIE THERE IS #HES A PROMINENT BUSINESS MAN AND A POLITICAL FIGURE WHILE ALSO HAVING A LAW ENFORCING ORGANIZATION???#SO THIS IS WHAT MY INTERPRETATION OF IT #HE HAS ALL THE FUCKING FINGERS IN PIES THERE IS #DS DREAM IS CANONICALLY AN OPTIMIST AND BATMAN IS ALSO AN OPTIMIST WHO HOPES THAT HIS ROGUES TURN FOR THE BETTER #BUT DS DREAM THINKS THE CRIMINALS CAUGHT BY HIS ORGANIZATION IS A LOST CAUSE AND THERE IS WHERE BATMAN AND HIM DIFFERS #ANYWHERE ELSE THEY'RE SIMILAR WITH EXCEPTION OF HOW THEY HOLD THEMSELVES #BATMAN MAKES THE CRIMINALS FEAR HIM AND THE DARK BUT DREAM MAKES CRIMINAL FEAR HIM AND THE LIGHT #BUT THEYRE STILL THE SAME FUCKING COIN #DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN??????!!!!!!#BATMAN DOES THINGS IN THE DARK BUT DS DREAM DOES THINGS IN THE LIGHT #THEYRE DOING THE SAME THING IN DIFFERENT FLAVORS #WITH DS DREAM BEING MORE EXTREME ON THE KILLING BUT BATMAN HAS NEVER PULLED HIS PUNCHES AND IS VERY MUCH VIOLENT #THE INTENT IS THE SAME #IS WHAT I AM SAYING #DONT TREAT ME LIKE A MANIAC

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fionnaskyborn · 27 days ago

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People like this have made me terrified that I am mischaracterizing my favorite character by playing into his strengths and emphasizing them so much... That I'm making things "too anime", "too over-the-top", and by doing that straying away from the groundedness that made the character compelling in the first place... But I think it's better to be a fan who loves someone so much they're willing to step into goofy over-the-top showcases of strength and morals out of love than being a fake fan who only ever rags on what they proclaim is so dear to them. I dunno. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that. I'm hella insecure when it comes to my own writing, especially with this guy because I want to do him as much justice as I possibly can as a writer. But I have to convince myself that it's not too much.

#logs #it doesn't help that i've been exposed to a lot of bad writing and cynical critique in general‚ so i'm even more fearful...#but i think the cure for that is to just... read more‚ and read with an honest heart #i don't know... i feel like i have a lot of growth to do as a person‚ as a reader and writer before i can execute this to the level where it #can truly be considered a masterpiece. grounded‚ yet not so. over-the-top in every way while also providing meaningful critique and #commentary on the nature of humanity. gutwrenching dialogue packed neatly with the most insane displays of asskicking. commentary on how war #is cruel and bad and only sows misery contrasted with the coolest battle scenes you have ever seen. these are the essence of the things i #love‚ and i want to be able to channel that through my own writing as well. it's the only way to do justice to the source material‚ the only #way to truly pay a tribute to the things that i love.#now that i am free‚ i can finally become more cultured... read more books‚ watch more films‚ inhale old mecha anime... it's what i've always #dreamed of doing #i just need to undo the mental shackles of ''i cannot do this right now''... i can. i finally can. i just need to let my mind catch up to #that. give it a little push along the way #once that's done... the journey begins.#i anguish a lot over the fact that my writing is locked in a tomb for the next decade... but sometimes‚ like now‚ i think‚ hey‚ maybe that #isn't so bad. imagine how many movies you can watch in those ten years... good movies‚ bad ones‚ exceptional ones... i'll have grown so much #as a writer by that point in time because i'll have learned the ''how'' part of what i want to write. i have the ''what'' already‚ and a #general idea of ''how''‚ but... ten years from now‚ i'll be able to write everything in a way that truly makes my eyes shine #a rare moment of me being hopeful for the future... i cherish it as those don't last very long in my life. i more often tend to despair #(cursed be the chemical disbalance!)#but yeah. there is a lot to look forward to despite the hardships. sure it would've been nice to just... have it all here‚ but... that's not #the world i live in. and maybe this one isn't so bad‚ either.#i have my box of scraps. now i just need to make it out of the cave.#the deadliest type of man is one with motivation and a purpose. right?

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brionysea · 10 months ago

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argyle called el supergirl + mike called el superman, but that scene was about his feelings and insecurities so the superman association is really tied to mike. superman and supergirl are cousins

#stranger things #kara (supergirl) is technically older than clark but got caught in a wormhole (or something) while escaping krypton #temporarily stopping her ageing because wormholes affect the speed at which time passes #meaning that by the time she gets to earth she's being rescued by her baby cousin who is now a grown man. superman to be exact #superman is... do i need to tell you who superman is?#truth justice hope the american way bla bla bla #but supergirl is a lot more morally complex because she was old enough to know their home before it was destroyed #she was the memory #which makes her methodology a lot more brutal and a lot less boy scout #all while being a teenage girl with the powers of a god #because apparently krypton was a bit more flawed and a lot less idealised than clark would like to think #but it's reversed in stranger things with the alien planet (or whatever) assumed to be rotten and evil #so it likely has hidden depths #especially because dustin keeps questioning its origin #anyway #refugees on a planet that is not their own + i am different i do not belong / gaining strength from the red sun + run to the light #due to comics books being timeless and not just an 80s thing i finally understand a nerdy aspect of the nerd show made for nerds

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janumun · 6 months ago

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The way Gilbert von Obsidian has me catching my breath each single chapter like a scandalised (and extremely turned on) Victorian maiden.

#Faa’s logging #in between all of my Rafayel Sylus screaming I haven’t forgotten how ruined #ikepri gilbert #has me with his entire route #it’s chef’s kiss and restored my faith in Cybirb’s ability #to give us a villain route and do it justice #the wound from IkeVamp Vlad’s route is still fresh #because what in all hells was that route #I am 1.5k words into a Gilbert cathartic smut which is currently on hold for Rafayel #BUT this man has me in shambles so you will definitely be hearing from me on the writing front for him

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autisticcole · 7 months ago

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Heheheheheho I have gotten some of the Dragon Age books (🏴‍☠️) and this is gonna really let me dig into some stuff, especially my favorite guy Cole, cause now I can read his OG appearance, I want to see how much stuff Cole says, especially during his quest actually makes sense, and how much is in-universe "both sides are right"ing about not listening to what Cole wants to do.

I am mainly talking about Spirit!Cole thanking Inky for not making him change... Despite the fact that thoughout Cole's quest Solas ignores what Cole wants (Like being binded) & wants to do (Kill the guy who beat beyond beating a 12 (at most) year old (most likely, it isn't outright stated (to my memory) the Templar who fucked up the paperwork was also one of the ones who physically abused him, but I feel it's a pretty safe assumption) & got that child killed due to neglect & faced no consequences) but ultimately the choice that causes Cole to thank the player for not changing him is the one where you listen to Solas over Cole (Or well Varric, who also doesn't let Cole do what he wants but is closer to what Cole would have done if he had went alone for the confrontation) & in this route I would say Cole's character changes a lot more, especially as he forgets the original Cole, which... Rubs me wrong, but I'll save my more detailed thoughts for 1. After I fully read Asunder & 2. Either a full Cole analysis or a detailed post about my thoughts on his quest & routes (& maybe how I'd rewrite them, as a Autistic person & a ally to the aroace community)

Anyways my point is that I want to see how true it is characters rejected or wanted to change Cole, I want to see what leads him to feel that having two men argue & tell him who he is supposed to be & do only to have a third person decide out of those two's options for what he should do is remotely a situation where he's been accepted.

#talk tag #my meta #cole meta #da cole #dai cole #dragon age cole #anti Solas #anti varric #just a lil like I love them but also holy hell you can tell they are in a sense in Cole's quest meant to #repesent ''parents who *have to deal with* Autistic children & make their choices for them #which ultimately comes down to how Cole is infantlized despite being around the same age as the intended age for the HoF during DAO #but since he's a Autistic-coded man he is treated by the narrative & thusly by characters like he is far younger & can't make his own choice #& only by losing parts of that coding is he treated a little more like a adult either losing touches of ''humanity''#or having to start having relationships like how a allo nurotypcial would #anyways I am curious if the book has some of these issues or if it is mainly a DAI thing since tbh it has a Ableism issue #I do know that Cole in the book is allowed to be a lot more threatening which I am excited to see for myself #let him be fucked up he is a spooky ghost serial killer with messy morals & messed up ideas on how to help #also I should make my meta/thoery/hc about how the spirit vs demon dycomity is BS & is more based on if #a spirit fights back/has desires that aren't convinent for the mortals around it #''oh it isn't a sprit of justice who wants me dead for killing those mages... it's a demon of vengeance yeah''#''this spirit wants things & isn't just doing what I tell it to... Demon of desire''#anyways thoughts for a different day when I have done more research but it ties into Cole #because how actually different is it to mercy kill mages in hopes of being seen vs kill countless people some of whom are very much-#just acting with survival or protection of their people #in like the grand scheme of the system that decides when something is a spirit & it's a demon #why is it fine for Cole to kill to end others pain but if he does it for himself he is a Demon?#anyways ty for reading #child abuse #child death

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hollowsart · 8 months ago

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-sighs-

Here we go

#ghostie mumbles #because of his young justice design I am retaliating and making him look like a proper grown man and making him thicker as a treat #but also idk what to do for his suit rn so this is just gonna sit as a sketch for awhile dhsvsnf

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lupins-hehim-pussy · 8 months ago

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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck

#ingital #did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol #and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's #a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where #wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it #to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism #diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic #the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be #neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like #I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD #severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised #basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange #but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still #has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation #then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses #IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN #and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.

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self-shipper-snowdrop · 2 months ago

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The fact that this is a real line Bronwen says in the TFP fic, when right before Starscream is having a takeover monologue with some confused simping for her sprinkled in, has me rolling on the floor.

#from daydreams to text #romantic; amaryllis and energon #I need to update those tfp ship tags they're old af #BUT LIKE;;;; THE WAY HE;'S LIKE ''SHE NEEDS A PROPER SHOULDER TO CRY ON MEGATRON WHEN YOU DIE HAHAHA''#TO HER GOING ''this is fucking stupid bae'' B VDFJHBVFJBHDVBJDVFBHJ #this fic has no right to be so funny #It's honestly dumb how happy it makes me but I am here anyway vjhbbhdfvjbdv #there is so many moving parts in this it's WACK #but it's also very intriguing to me #because yeah Bronwen's got key knowledge and is now armed with future sight by now [prophetic dreams]#but also like... she is clearly a deeply flawed person #like she's loving and kind yeah- and headstrong in the face of fear #but also she's haunted by her past. She dislikes herself. She doesn't see herself as worthy or desirable #and she puts the blame of things on herself even when it's not her fault #like yeah she's the centre of a lot in the fic #and back in the day peeps would be like mArY sUe WAAAA #but even looking at this now [pre-continuation even] she is still clearly... a person #and she still can't comprehend the bots or cons just... liking her. as herself #she is so riddled with doubt and puts SO much pressure on herself #all to make sure time goes as it's supposed to #and blames herself if anyone gets hurt #i mean fuck she literally gets PROPHECY DREAMS and she still doubts her choices and moves #like stuff is going as it should. but Megs isn't up yet so she's still panicked #to the point of not sleeping at all #there's so much man I could go on a rant about this T_T baby me you did so good wtf #I hope me continuing is doing her justice because my god

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asmo-cosmetics · 10 months ago

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i forgot one of the things i hate most about the arcana is how openly hostile every single fucking character is to julian. it's so stupid. every other love interest besides julian and lucio are besties or at least like each other, but julian is despised by the others and the narrative itself past the point that it even makes sense.

sure at first they can hate him, that's fine, they think he's a murderer, but even past that it's STILL constantly "oohhh julian's stupid julian's childish julian's work and interests and passions and sexual preferences are all so funny and silly and worthy of ridicule by everyone despite his discomfort and without his consent but also we're going to frame it as 'good-natured ribbing' narratively even though it's objectively just bullying" biting and clawing and maiming and killing. i hate these writers so fucking much.

EVERY OTHER CHARACTER is allowed to be portrayed as competent at their job and hobbies, even lucio to an extent. but not julian!!! julian sux lol!!!!! julian a Medical Doctor puts more trust in science than magic? omg BIGOT! julian who does not like, trust, or have any interest in magic, and has never studied it, can't tell when something is ""obviously"" magic to experienced magicians and assumes its effect to be medicinal? wow he's so STUPID OMG... julian uses strange methods in his practice like leeches? a common old-fashioned treatment in a old-fashioned setting [nevermind that it's a FANTASY setting and leeches may very well be effective in broader applications than irl (and yes there are modern irl instances of medicinal leeches why does everybody act like leeches are so wild and crazy medicine-wise?) in this universe? like they might literally just work? we don't know?] he must be a total hack lol i bet he gives patients cocaine too!! he was a pirate? bet he was bad at it! he's an actor? bet he's bad at it!

not to mention how WEIRD they are about his identity. like for a game that supposedly takes place in a world with no identity-based bigotry julian suuuuure faces a lot of what looks a lot like homophobia and bottom-shaming. don't worry you don't have to be threatened by him he's not a REAL man... no no he's cis we just mean he's submissive. but that's something everyone's allowed to tease him about, also, even though that's obviously inappropriate and mean as fuck. just. GOD. i fucking hate these devs. it's so fucking gross and stupid and weird. it doesn't even make sense, it just makes the other characters seem like assholes for how they're treating him, and especially when they write portia to bully him it doesn't even sound like her. i'm in hell. i'm in hell.

#wank //#the arcana #the arcana wank #do not argue btw i will block you. this game sucks i'm only here for julian and lucio #also so many details about this game are so weird.#''there's no racism in our fantasy world also here's two characters from a different country who localized their names to find employment''#''there's no sexism in this game but we're still going to blame lucio for everything wrong with vesuvia because nadia was just a woman''#''no racism'' but also hi welcome to the part of town julian is from it's extremely poor and mostly populated by immigrants #''no homophobia'' but haha look at the funny man in a wig #''no transphobia'' but also we refuse to show you any explicitly textually trans characters #and the one character that's ftm coded is 'nonbinary and okay with female titles'#<- justice for nazali btw #i am so tired of the scourge of shitlibs in the western vn space hell hell hell hell hell

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