#because i also have stuff who don't work correctly
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sassypotatoe1 · 3 days ago
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Oh I know this one! I'm a huge horror fan and not in the usual way I don't care for slashers or final girl survival horrors, I like the more actually spooky and less gruesome stuff, and a part of loving horror is understanding the genre.
No one in my family enjoys horror, fair enough it's not for everyone, and a lot can be said to criticize horror and various horror sub genres. Rape and vore and gore is used too often as shock factors or tactlessly handled. Platforming fucked up world views accidentally or otherwise through horror and using the fact that it's horror as an excuse? Meh not a fan but somewhat more understandable.
The thing about horror as an overarching genre is that it's not intended to scare, I mean it is but that's not the central goal. It's meant to explore the things we are most uncomfortable with. It can do that through scaring, but also through tragedy, through mystery, through thrills and chills (more lighthearted spooks), through morbid comedy, and through heavy fictionalization of very real things.
The thing is, though, horror is only effective specifically with the people whose horror it's addressing, and even then only if it addresses it correctly according to the expectations and experiences of that sub group. (I hit post before I finished oops)
A horror that is effective for me is one that rather focuses on the beauty, reverence and tragedy of the beyond, than cheap scares and shock factors. A ghost story where the ghost may or may not be real. It could be a supernatural entity doing spooky shit, or it could be a manifestation of the deepest most painful experiences of human existence. A ghost can be a malevolent entity, or a figment representing malevolent experiences that are difficult to understand and wrap your head around.
Haunting of hill house explores sudden and traumatic loss, bly explores a loss you know is coming for a long time before it arrives, the turn of the screw (another adaptation of the short story bly is based on) focuses more on how terrifying mental illness can be for those who suffer from it. Lavender (2016) explores imo csa tactfully, depicting it as a family of ghosts luring a lone survivor of a tragedy back home to take revenge on the actual killer, while also exploring how survivors of childhood trauma and especially csa can feel shame and responsibility for the things that happened to them. It even addressed suppression of traumatic memory semi effectively.
You can tell my bias for the sub genre of trauma and tragedy explored through a lense of the supernatural. This sub genre of horror isn't good to everyone. They rarely have gore, they have limited or highly artful jump scares, they favor subtlety over shock value and they make use of the set and the score to tell the story rather than any scary events overtly portrayed. They still have those, but it takes second stage to the story. People who love more traditional horror, jump scares, ghosts that are visible and vocal and violent, straightforward stories where everything is explicitly explained, that's more appealing to a lot of people.
Slashers rose to fame because of the rise in serial killers, found footage worked because we were shifting from analog to digital media and digitizing old analog media unearthed a lot of random shit and sometimes strange and unsettling shit, and people wanted to explore that concept more deeply.
In the 60s horror was a pretty new genre to my knowledge. The closest we got was snuff films (which are mostly lost to time thank god) and Gothic horror, monster films with practical effects, it was a whole new concept and they were testing the waters with godawful tech and even worse makeup, but they stood the test of time because they were the first steps to a whoooole new type of media, where people could explore the most extreme and terrible things we experience in a way that is safe, it feels safe. People like horror because you can walk away from feeling the things you're too scared to feel usually, and go right back to regular life like nothing happened, because technically nothing did.
Now I'm no film historian, the above information is pieced together from random shit I've heard and read and watched over the years, but I think I got the gist of it. Horror sucks from generation to generation, person to person even, because whatever is happening in society at the time, or to the individual in their life, will affect what themes and tropes hit hard for them.
Hill house works for me because I've experienced sudden and traumatic loss and it manages to capture how the grief actually feels over the years. Bly manor works for me because I'm queer, but also because my grandmother had Parkinsons, my grandfather had dementia, my other grandfather had esophageal cancer, and knowing what's coming didn't make a difference in any way to how intensely I've grieved them.
Lavender works for me because I was traumatized by csa and early exposure to sexual materials, and I have had to fictionalize my trauma to be able to cope with it my whole life, and my memory isn't reliable, and if I'm ever driven to it by highly extreme circumstances I would probably benefit from getting retribution for all the shit everyone in my life has put me through.
Slashers aren't good to me because it's cheap shock value, and I feel like a lot of my generation feels the same. Though they seem to be making a bit of a resurgence, and I'm curious to see what the reasons are. Older generations don't like the more subtle mindfucky horror I like, because they don't want to have to think about it. They want cheap thrills and chills and excessive gore that you have to suspend your disbelief for.
I haven't been able to figure out what about slashers are good to older generations, but I would like to know more. This is getting too long and I think I've said what I wanted anyway so yeah, the world sucks in different ways now than it did 20/30/50 years ago, and fictional media will reflect that.
"Why does Gen Z suck shit at horror?" every generation sucks shit at horror. In the 2000's they were sucking shit at found footage, in the 80's they were sucking shit at slasher flicks, in the 60's -- Jesus, in the 60's they sucked so much shit someone went and made a whole TV show where a bunch of guys watched horror movies from the 60's and made fun of how much shit they suck.
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lord-squiggletits · 2 years ago
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I think another thing that annoys me about how prevalent it is for people to read MTMTE/LL and nothing else, is the fact that JRO's depiction of Cybertronian-organic relationships is slanted so heavily in favor of Cybertronians portraying organic aliens as tyrannical racists killing colonies for no reason (Galactic Council, the Black Block Consortia) that love torturing Cybertronians because they hate them so much and don't see them as sentient (that dude who was selling Cybertronian torture dolls to alien races).
And like, something that happens as a result of people only reading MTMTE/LL is that they get this idea in their head that it's Cybertronians who are oppressed by the rest of the galaxy. And an unfortunate.... take that I see as a result of this ends up with stuff like Decepticon/Megatron apologists trying to frame technoist colonialism as basically Cybertronians trying to strike back against being unfairly persecuted and being seen as lesser by alien species? They don't always explicitly say it as such, but I've seen a lot of people try to downplay the whole technoism and colonialism thing by framing it in context to organic racism and how both sides are equally bad or something like that.
Which is not fucking true because if you actually were to read exRID and OP, you would know that there are multiple Cybertronian colonies throughout the galaxy that were created by razing previously occupied organics planets, that Nova Prime (one of the original 13 Primes and the first Prime to rule a united Cybertron) wanted to conquer the entire galaxy which led to the creation of cold construction in the first place, and that the reason organic species hate Cybertronians so much is because Cybertronians were the first ones to go out and start conquering other planets millions of years ago.
It's even more infuriating because you don't even need to read other comics besides JRO's to know this! Tailgate and Cyclonus were from Nova Prime's time and the whole "yeah during those times we liked going out on a fun journey to kill organics for fun hahaha" is brought up at least a couple times in the series.
#squiggposting#meta#but yeah it's easy to forget that idw cybertronians were the ones colonizing organics first#when the bulk of organic species presence in JRO's works is showing them as like absolute racist scum or as poor woobies in need of rescuin#and with regards to m/gatron apologists it actually pisses me off a lot because i KNOW most of them only read m/tmte and ll#and that's why they have Those Takes (derogatory)#and like ppl try to claim that M is unfairly framed as the villain and the colonialism 'makes no sense' (how?????)#but like if they read series besides JRO's they would see that basically M is only carrying on a colonialist legacy#that has pervaded all of cybertronian history. which imo is much more compelling and more accurate to real life than just#'M is racist against organics because they were racist to him/cybertron first. he's just retaliating!'#because like. when you look at real life history you see plenty of activists who revolutionized society and human rights and stuff#but in other aspects they were like fucking racist or sexist or transphobic or whatever#to me M makes much more sense and is more compelling as a tragically flawed former activist/pacifist#when you look at his anti functionism in contrast to his anti organic and colonialist actions#what you see there is a person who correctly argued in favor of the rights of his own species but failed to apply that logic to other speci#it's not uncommon for certain activists IRL to argue for the rights of one group of oppressed ppl but stomp on the rights of others because#they don't acknowledge the shared struggles or the shared roots of oppression between both#that's literally what M is doing. but if you take the stupid route of going 'oh M may be racist but organics were racist too'#that's just. that's not only boring but it makes for a less compelling narrative in a continuity full of political discussions and themes#and also i hate how many M fans just refuse to acknowledge the whole colonialism thing. it's not a matter of you have to feel bad for likin#him but it's a matter of. you can't just brush off M's crimes and get mad at other ppl for pointing out he did bad things#and also sometimes M stans' efforts to justify his crimes just end up having really unfortunate implications sometimes#like that one person who tried claiming that M's colonialism was just him making hard decisions to ensure the survival of his species#which is very mmmm uhhhh ahhhhhhh not a good argument to put it lightly#point is. some ppl wanna talk politics in TF so bad but aren't willing to talk ALL OF THE POLITICS#or like they wanna talk politics in TF without even reading the rest of the series#if your analysis of a story is based on incomplete evidence not having read most of the series and only cherrypicking from 2 series#your arguments are not logically compelling nor properly informed and i can rip them apart as such#there are too many takes in this fucking fandom made by ppl who haven't read most of idw or even read PART OF IT with attention to detail#just. i hate it when popular takes are made by ppl who only read a pinch of the story and make sweeping generaliations
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an-ruraiocht · 3 months ago
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90% of the time when i see reviews and posts saying "this book needed editing" i don't think the reader have any idea what editing actually entails. usually this is actually code for one of several "problems" with the book:
it's too long, or it's slower paced than this reader's preference. they believe "editing" would mean making it shorter
it has a heavily descriptive style, which the reader doesn't like. they believe "editing" means paring every sentence down to hemingway-style prose with no adverbs
it doesn't follow the very rigid "save the cat" style 3-act story structure, disrupting the reader's sense of narrative tension. an editor, they believe, would've made sure it did
there were a few typos or formatting errors, and they believe it's the editor's job to catch these (it's not, it's typically the proofreader and the typesetter who have responsibility for that kind of thing)
and finally, most often:
the author had different narrative priorities than the reader, who thinks an editor would have made the author change their priorities.
the thing is, there are actually issues with editors in trad publishing being overworked to the point where things aren't getting the thorough, thoughtful editing that they need to be the best version of themselves. there are plenty of badly-structured, poorly-researched, and clumsily written books out there. moreover copyediting is typically freelance and perhaps because of that, this is the area where i see the largest number of issues: continuity issues, grammar issues, factual errors etc that someone should've spotted and didn't.
but this is not typically what people's "this needed an editor" reviews are focusing on. most often it just means they didn't like the book and they've decided editing is an all-powerful force that would have transformed it into a book they liked. but that's not how it works. and disproportionately what this comment means is that the book doesn't match what current fashions have decided is The Correct Style to write in
"this book needed an editor" if it's traditionally published, it had one. like. by definition. it was an editor who bought the book. that doesn't mean the editor did a great job but they definitely existed. there were probably at least two (acquiring editor who does the dev edits; copyeditor who does copyedits), and the proofreader, and a bunch of other people besides.
also i think people think editors are the ones who like. implement the changes. but they don't. they give comments and recommendations and ask questions and the author is the one to act on them. the editor will not rewrite the book. they will not fix the problems themselves, they will highlight the problem and the author will figure out a fix for it, or they will decide they don't agree that it's a problem and leave it as it. and a lot of the sentence-level style stuff is entirely on the author so if they don't have an ear for the rhythm then nobody's going to fix that for them. editors do a lot less than people seem to imagine they do, tbh
anyway
for reference—
structural/developmental edits: is this chapter in the right place and does the plot make sense and is the characterisation consistent and effective
line edits: is this sentence in the right place and is it as stylish as it could be
copy edits: is this sentence grammatically correct and consistent/factually correct within the story/its world and do the spellings follow the publisher's stylesheet
proofreading: are there any typos in this sentence and was the formatting preserved correctly when it was typeset
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changeling-droneco · 3 months ago
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
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This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
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Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
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YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
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I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
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First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
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This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
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Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
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The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
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This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
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Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
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I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
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Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
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Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
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Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
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In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
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Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
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My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
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I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
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Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
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I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
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Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
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Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
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Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
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We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
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I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
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Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
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First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
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Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
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If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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demonpiratehuntress · 10 months ago
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I am actually so mad. I was working on this and for some reason it didn't save correctly and ended up posting a blank draft while deleting the stuff I had already written! I'm so sorry it took so long, @tiaramarijadhkxdyi755, but here it is! i hope this is close to what you wanted, because i wasn't sure how to go about it 🙈
taglist - @kabloswrld
patience with the Straw Hats
featuring - Zoro x F!Reader, Luffy x F!Reader, Sanji x F!Reader, Usopp x F!Reader
summary - the ask above
warnings - mean/careless/neglectful Straw Hats, im sorry, i changed Luffy's and Usopp's because I don't imagine them ever screaming at or getting angry with their s/o 💕
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ZORO
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Zoro has a short fuse, and that's common knowledge. Everyone knows just how grumpy and aggressive he can be after a hard fight or a difficult day training. He's snapped at everyone more than once, but you seem to take the brunt of it since you're the closest to him, and today was no different.
"For fucks sake just leave me alone!" Zoro could be heard yelling at you all throughout the Sunny. "You're too damn clingy and I don't need your help right now!" He stormed off.
You stood there in shock, having just asked him if he was okay, and taken aback by the response you had gotten. It wasn't unusual for him to be angry, but he was really upset today for some reason. You decided to give him space, but you had to admit you weren't really hurt or upset. More so disappointed that he had once again pushed you away.
"Zoro-"
"What?!" He snapped, glaring at you as you came up into the crow's nest with some food. "I'm not hungry, just leave."
"But-" You started, until he did something unexpected.
He smacked the food out of your hands, sending it all over your face. Your eyes widened and you stumbled back a bit, stunned.
"Okay, I'm sorry," you apologised, giving him a soft smile, "I'll have food in the room once you're ready to eat."
You waited a long time until Zoro finally entered your shared room, looking embarrassed and guilty about his outbursts today. He didn't say anything as he crossed the room and sat down beside you, but when he took your hand in his and brought it to his lips you knew he was apologising.
"It's okay," you smiled gently, "I'm not upset. Just disappointed that you won't let me help you."
"I know I know," he admitted. "I'll work on it, I promise."
"What made you so angry anyway?" You squeezed his hand.
He sighed, "You almost got hurt in our last fight because I was distracted. It's been haunting me, and I just don't want it to happen again. I snapped because I wanted to train harder instead of resting or eating, so I can properly protect you."
You smiled at him again, "But you always do, that was not your fault babe."
He was so grateful to have such a patient, understanding and loving girlfriend.
SANJI
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Sanji usually never snapped at or yelled at you. He didn't ever want to, and never had any reason to. He was sweet, loving and doting just like you were, but unlike you he did have his days where he went against his promise to never lash out at you or hurt you in any way. Today was one of those days. Usopp had pulled him away from some girls who were fawning over him, and he was irritated.
"Why did you do that?" He glared at the sniper. "I was having fun."
"You also have a girlfriend," Usopp reminded him, gesturing towards you. He was nervous now, because Sanji looked pissed off.
"So?" The cook scowled. "I can appreciate and talk to other women without cheating on her!" He spoke like you weren't right next to him. "Right, (Name)?"
"Right," you smiled, a bit disappointed but not showing it.
Then he was off, returning to those women to apologise and your crew turned to you, looking at you quizzically. Nami set her hand on your arm reassuringly.
"It's okay," you told them with a smile, "It doesn't bother me."
Sanji then returned, but was quick to notice the disappointed look you had on your face. He was about to ask but you shook your head and kissed his cheek, continuing your exploration of the island.
"Okay what's your problem?" He suddenly asked, annoyed, when you looked disappointed at another interaction between him and a pretty woman.
Your eyes widened, "I'm not-"
He rolled his eyes, "I'm not stupid, (Name). You're obviously hiding the fact that you want to control my every move and stop me from ever talking to other women again."
That claim was so preposterous, you frowned, "I wouldn't-"
He quickly realised what he had said and his eyes widened, "No no no, my love I didn't mean that! I don't know why I said, I-I-" He fumbled for an excuse but sighed when he didn't have any. "I'm sorry, my love. Let me make it up to you, with your favourite dinner."
"Deal."
LUFFY
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In all honesty, I don't see Luffy getting angry with or yelling at you. I think he's more of the neglectful type, when faced with certain situations like facing Boa Hancock out on the sea. She claimed she didn't know you guys would be there, but you're pretty sure she was stalking his movements. Luffy wouldn't listen though.
"It's okay, (Name)!" He replied cheerily when you voiced your concerns, "Hammock's really nice! And she has yummy food!"
And then he was off, leaving you to shake your head and sigh. You retired to your shared room, hoping that Luffy would eventually realise her intentions and come back.
He never did, and after a few hours you were starting to get lonely. So you ventured out to find him, only to see him giving her a tour of the Sunny.
"Luffy!" You called, but frowned when he seemingly ignored you as Hancock said something to him.
That was pretty much how the day went. You were ignored entirely by your boyfriend, simply because Hancock wouldn't let him pay attention to you. But you were disappointed in him too, for not telling her that you were dating and for not coming to spend time with you on his own.
When the day ended and Hancock retreated to her ship, bidding Luffy goodbye, the captain finally made his way to you. You weren't upset or sad, but Luffy could see on your face that you weren't feeling anything good.
"Are you alright, (Name)?" He questioned, hugging you.
"I'm disappointed, Luffy," you told him, but hugged him back and smiled anyway, happy to have him back.
"Disappointed?" He frowned. "Why?"
You sighed, "You didn't make any effort to come and see me for even a few minutes today. You spent the whole day with her. I'm not upset, because she helped you a lot, but I am disappointed that you ignored me."
He hugged you even tighter, "I'm sorry, (Name), really. We can spend the whole day together tomorrow!"
You smiled and nodded, not having the heart to tell him that's what you guys did everyday when Boa wasn't around.
USOPP
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Usopp is another Straw Hat that I don't see getting angry or yelling easily. He's very patient with you, and he's understanding. He also doesn't have any aggravating circumstances, but the one thing he can be that disappoints you sometimes is careless. He can be very careless when it comes to what he says or does, because he usually acts on emotion.
And today, it seemed, he was missing his old crush Kaya. Because while you were shopping for clothes on one store, seeking to replace your torn and burnt ones, he kept yapping on about how Kaya had this and Kaya had that, and that hers were all real and genuine.
"I'm sorry I'm not Kaya, or as rich as her," you politely reminded him, not upset but starting to feel uncomfortable.
"It's okay!" He smiled, ignoring the subtle hint for him to stop talking about her. "I love you anyway!"
"Love you too," you smiled, but in your disappointment it didn't quite reach your eyes like it usually did. Still, you persevered, hoping he would stop by the next shop.
He did not.
"Kaya had something like this," he looked at the dress you were holding up, "But much prettier."
You frowned, again disappointed that he didn't like it. And that he had once again compared it to someone in his past that should be staying in said past.
Usopp noticed your expression, and his smile faltered, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," you smiled, shaking your head, "It's just not my style."
His eyes widened, "Woah, (Name), I didn't mean-"
"It's okay, Usopp," you kissed his cheek, "Let's go, I think we're done."
"No we're not," he took the dress, "This will look so much nicer on you than Kaya."
You opened your mouth to say something, but giggled when he refused to let you and bought it for you, dragging you back to the Sunny so you could show him just how much prettier you were than Kaya.
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mdzsartreblogs · 2 years ago
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Recognizing AI Generated Images, Danmei Edition
Heyo, @unforth here! I run some danmei art blogs (@mdzsartreblogs, @tgcfartreblogs, @svsssartreblogs, @zhenhunartreblogs, @erhaartreblogs, @dmbjartreblogs, @tykartreblogs, and @cnovelartreblogs) which means I see a LOT of danmei art, and I go through the main fandom tags more-or-less every day.
Today, for the first time, I spotted someone posting AI-generated images (I refuse to call them AI "art" - and to be clear, that's correct of me, because at least in the US it literally LEGALLY isn't art) without any label indicating they were AI generated. I am not necessarily against the existence of AI-generated images (though really...considering all the legal issues and the risks of misuse, I'm basically against them); I think they potentially have uses in certain contexts (such as for making references) and I also think that regardless of our opinions, we're stuck with them, but they're also clearly not art and I don't reblog them to the art side blogs.
The images I spotted today had multiple "tells," but they were still accumulating notes, and I thought it might be a good moment to step back and point out some of the more obvious tells because my sense is that a LOT of people are against AI-generated images being treated as art, and that these people wouldn't want to support an AI-generator user who tried to foist off their work as actual artwork, but that people don't actually necessarily know how to IDENTIFY those works and therefore can inadvertently reblog works that they'd never support if they were correctly identified. (Similar to how the person who reposts and says "credit to the artist" is an asshole but they're not the same as someone who reposts without any credit at all and goes out of their way to make it look like they ARE the artist when they're not).
Toward that end, I've downloaded all the images I spotted on this person's account and I'm going to use them to highlight the things that led me to think they were AI art - they posted a total of 5 images to a few major danmei tags the last couple days, and several other images not to specific fandoms (I examined 8 images total). The first couple I was suspicious, but it wasn't til this morning that I spotted one so obvious that it couldn't be anything BUT AI art. I am NOT going to name the person who did this. The purpose of this post is purely educational. I have no interest whatsoever in bullying one rando. Please don't try to identify them; who they are is genuinely irrelevant, what matters is learning how to recognize AI art in general and not spreading it around, just like the goal of education about reposting is to help make sure that people who repost don't get notes on their theft, to help people recognize the signs so that the incentive to be dishonest about this stuff is removed.
But first: Why is treating AI-generated images as art bad?
I'm no expert and this won't be exhaustive, but I do think it's important to first discuss why this matters.
On the surface, it's PERHAPS harmless for someone to post AI-generated images provided that the image is clearly labeled as AI-generated. I say "perhaps" because in the end, as far as I'm aware, there isn't a single AI-generation engine that's built on legally-sourced artwork. Every AI (again, to the best of my knowledge) has been trained using copyrighted images usually without the permission of the artists. Indeed, this is the source of multiple current lawsuits. (and another)
But putting that aside (as if it can be put aside that AI image generators are literally unethically built), it's still problematic to support the images being treated as art. Artists spend thousands of hours learning their craft, honing it, sharing their creations, building their audiences. This is what they sell when they offer commissions, prints, etc. This can never be replicated by a computer, and to treat an AI-generated image as in any way equivalent is honestly rude, inappropriate, disgusting imo. This isn't "harmless"; supporting AI image creation engines is damaging to real people and their actual livelihoods. Like, the images might be beautiful, but they're not art. I'm honestly dreading someone managing to convince fandom that their AI-generated works are actual art, and then cashing in on commissions, prints, etc., because people can't be fussed to learn the difference. We really can't let this happen, guys. Fanartists are one of the most vibrant, important, prominent groups in all our fandoms, and we have to support them and do our part to protect them.
As if those two points aren't enough, there's already growing evidence that AI-generated works are being used to further propagandists. There are false images circulating of violence at protests, deep-fakes of various kinds that are helping the worst elements of society to push their horrid agendas. As long as that's a facet of AI-generated works, they'll always be dangerous.
I could go on, but really this isn't the main point of my post and I don't want to get bogged down. Other people have said more eloquently than I why AI-generated images are bad. Read those. (I tried to find a good one to link but sadly failed; if anyone knows a good post, feel free to send it and I'll add the link to the post).
Basically: I think a legally trained AI-image generator that had built-in clear watermarks could be a fun toy for people who want reference images or just to play with making pseudo-art. But...that's not what we have, and what we do have is built on theft and supports dystopia so, uh. Yeah fuck AI-generated images.
How to recognize AI-Generated Images Made in an Eastern Danmei Art Style
NOTE: I LEARNED ALL THE BASIC ON SPOTTING AI-GENERATED IMAGES FROM THIS POST. I'll own I still kinda had the wool over my eyes until I read that post - I knew AI stuff was out there but I hadn't really looked closely enough to have my eyes open for specific signs. Reading that entire post taught me a lot, and what I learned is the foundation of this post.
This post shouldn't be treated as a universal guide. I'm specifically looking at the tells on the kind of art that people in danmei fandoms often see coming from Weibo and other Chinese, Japanese, and Korean platforms, works made by real artists. For example, the work of Foxking (狐狸大王a), kokirapsd, and Changyang (who is an official artist for MDZS, TGCF, and other danmei works). This work shares a smooth use of color, an aim toward a certain flavor of realism, an ethereal quality to the lighting, and many other features. (Disclaimer: I am not an artist. Putting things in arty terms is really not my forte. Sorry.)
So, that's what these AI-generated images are emulating. And on the surface, they look good! Like...
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...that's uncontestably a pretty picture (the white box is covering the "artist's" watermark.) And on a glance, it doesn't necessarily scream "AI generated"! But the devil is in the details, and the details are what this post is about. And that picture? Is definitely AI generated.
This post is based on 8 works I grabbed from a single person's account, all posted as their own work and watermarked as such. Some of the things that are giveaways only really show when looking at multiple pieces. I'm gonna start with those, and then I'll highlight some of the specifics I spotted that caused me to go from "suspicious" to "oh yeah no these are definitely not art."
Sign 1: all the images are the exact same size. I mean, to the pixel: 512 x 682 pixels (or 682 x 512, depending on landscape or portrait orientation). This makes zero sense. Why would an artist trim all their pieces to that size? It's not the ideal Tumblr display size (that's 500 x 750 pixels). If you check any actual artist's page and look at the full-size of several of their images, they'll all be different sizes as they trimmed, refined, and otherwise targeted around their original canvas size to get the results they wanted.
Sign 2: pixelated. At the shrunken size displayed on, say, a mobile Tumblr feed, the image looks fine, but even just opening the full size upload, the whole thing is pixelated. Now, this is probably the least useful sign; a lot of artists reduce the resolution/dpi/etc. on their uploaded works so that people don't steal them. But, taken in conjunction with everything else, it's definitely a sign.
Those are the two most obvious overall things - the things I didn't notice until I looked at all the uploads. The specifics are really what tells, though. Which leads to...
Sign 3: the overall work appears to have a very high degree of polish, as if it were made by an artist who really really knows what they're doing, but on inspection - sometimes even on really, REALLY cursory inspect - the details make zero sense and reflect the kinds of mistakes that a real artist would never make.
So, here's the image that I saw that "gave it away" to me, and caused me to re-examine the images that had first struck me as off but that I hadn't been able to immediately put my finger on the problem. I've circled some of the spots that are flagrant.
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Do you see yet? Yes? Awesome, you're getting it. No? Okay, let's go point by point, with close ups.
Sign 4: HANDS. Hands are currently AI's biggest weakness, though they've been getting better quickly and honestly that's terrifying. But whatever AI generated this picture clearly doesn't get hands yet, because that hand is truly an eldritch horror. Look at this thing:
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It has two palms. It has seven fingers. It's basically two hands overlaid over each other, except one of those hands only has four fingers and the other has three. Seeing this hand was how I went from "umm...maybe they're fake? Maybe they're not???" to "oh god why is ANYONE reblogging this when it's this obvious?" WATCH THE HANDS. (Go back up to that first one posted and look at the hand, you'll see. Or just look right below at this crop.) Here's some other hands:
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Sign 5: Hair and shadows. Once I started inspecting these images, the shadows of the hair on the face was one of the things that was most consistently fucked up across all the uploaded pictures. Take a look:
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There's shadows of tendrils on the forehead, but there's no corresponding hair that could possibly have made those shadows. Likewise there's a whole bunch of shadows on the cheeks. Where are those coming from? There's no possible source in the rest of the image. Here's some other hair with unrelated wonky shadows:
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Sign 6: Decorative motifs that are really just meaningless squiggles. Like, artists, especially those who make fanart, put actual thought into what the small motifs are on their works. Like, in TGCF, an artist will often use a butterfly motif or a flower petal motif to reflect things about the characters. An AI, though, can only approximate a pattern and it can't imbue those with meanings. So you end up with this:
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What is that? It's nothing, that's what. It's a bunch of squiggles. Here's some other meaningless squiggle motifs (and a more zoomed-in version of the one just above):
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Sign 7: closely related to meaningless squiggle motifs is motifs that DO look like something, but aren't followed through in any way that makes sense. For example, an outer garment where the motifs on the left and the right shoulder/chest are completely different, or a piece of cloth that's supposed to be all one piece but that that has different patterns on different sections of it. Both of these happen in the example piece, see?
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The first images on the top left is the left and right shoulder side by side. The right side has a scalloped edge; the left doesn't. Likewise, in the right top picture, you can see the two under-robe lapels; one has a gold decoration and the other doesn't. And then the third/bottom image shows three sections of the veil. One (on the left) has that kind of blue arcy decoration, which doesn't follow the folds of the cloth very well and looks weird and appears at one point to be OVER the hair instead of behind it. The second, on top of the bottom images, shows a similar motif, except now it's gold, and it looks more like a hair decoration than like part of the veil. The third is also part of the same veil but it has no decorations at all. Nothing about this makes any sense whatsoever. Why would any artist intentionally do it that way? Or, more specifically, why would any artist who has this apparent level of technical skill ever make a mistake like this?
They wouldn't.
Some more nonsensical patterns, bad mirrors, etc. (I often put left/right shoulders side by side so that it'd be clearer, sorry if it's weird):
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Sign 8: bizarre architecture, weird furniture, etc. Most of the images I'm examining for this post have only partial backgrounds, so it's hard to really focus on this, but it's something that the post I linked (this one) talks about a lot. So, like, an artist will put actual thought into how their construction works, but an AI won't because an AI can't. There's no background in my main example image, but take a look at this from another of my images:
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On a glance it's beautiful. On a few seconds actually staring it's just fucking bizarre. The part of the ceiling on the right appears to be domed maybe? But then there's a hard angle, then another. The windows on the right have lots of panes, but then the one on the middle-left is just a single panel, and the ones on the far left have a complete different pane model. Meanwhile, also on the left side at the middle, there's that dark gray...something...with an arch that mimics the background arches except it goes no where, connects to nothing, and has no apparent relationship to anything else going on architecturally. And, while the ceiling curves, the back wall is straight AND shows more arches in the background even though the ceiling looks to end. And yes, some of this is possible architecture, but taken as a whole, it's just gibberish. Why would anyone who paints THAT WELL paint a building to look like THAT? They wouldn't. It's nonsense. It's the art equivalent of word salad. When we look at a sentence and it's like "dog makes a rhythmical salad to betray on the frame time plot" it almost resembles something that might mean something but it's clearly nonsense. This background is that sentence, as art.
Sign 9: all kinds of little things that make zero sense. In the example image, I circled where a section of the hair goes BELOW the inner robe. That's not impossible but it just makes zero sense. As with many of these, it's the kind of thing that taken alone, I'd probably just think "well, that was A Choice," but combined with all the other weird things it stands out as another sign that something here is really, really off. Here's a collection of similar "wtf?" moments I spotted across the images I looked at (I'm worried I'm gonna hit the Tumblr image cap, hence throwing these all in one, lol.)
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You have to remember that an actual artist will do things for a reason. And we, as viewers, are so used to viewing art with that in mind that we often fill in reasons even when there aren't. Like, in the image just about this, I said, "what the heck are these flowers growing on?" And honestly, I COULD come up with explanations. But that doesn't mean it actually makes sense, and there's no REASON for it whatsoever. The theoretical same flowers are, in a different shot, growing unsupported! So...what gives??? The answer is nothing gives. Because these pieces are nothing. The AI has no reason, it's just tossing in random aesthetic pieces together in a mishmash, and the person who generated them is just re-generating and refining until they get something that looks "close enough" to what they wanted. It never was supposed to make sense, so of course it doesn't.
In conclusion...
After years of effort, artists have gotten across to most of fandom that reposts are bad, and helped us learn strategies for helping us recognize reposts, and given us an idea of what to do when we find one.
Fandom is just at the beginning of this process as it applies to AI-generated images. There's a LOT of education that has to be done - about why AI-generated images are bad (the unethical training using copyrighted images without permission is, imo, critical to understanding this), and about how to spot them, and then finally about what to do when you DO find them.
With reposts, we know "tell original artist, DCMA takedowns, etc." That's not the same with these AI-images. There's no original owner. There's no owner at all - in the US, at least, they literally cannot be copyrighted. Which is why I'm not even worrying about "credit" on this post - there's nothing stolen, cause there's nothing made. So what should you do?
Nothing. The answer is, just as the creator has essentially done nothing, you should also do nothing. Don't engage. Don't reblog. Don't commission the creator or buy their art prints. If they do it persistently and it bothers you, block them. If you see one you really like, and decide to reblog it, fine, go for it, but mark it clearly - put in the ACTUAL COMMENTS (not just in the tags!) that it's AI art, and that you thought it was pretty anyway. But honestly, it'd be better to not engage, especially since as this grows it's inevitable that some actual artists are going to start getting accused of posting AI-generated images by over-zealous people. Everyone who gets a shadow wrong isn't posting AI-generated images. A lot of these details are insanely difficult to get correct, and lots of even very skilled, accomplished artists, if you go over their work with a magnifying glass you're going to find at least some of these things, some weirdnesses that make no sense, some shadows that are off, some fingers that are just ugh (really, getting hands wrong is so relatable. hands are the fucking worst). It's not about "this is bad art/not art because the hand is wrong," it's specifically about the ways that it's wrong, the way a computer randomly throws pieces together versus how actual people make actual mistakes. It's all of the little signs taken as a whole to say "no one who could produce a piece that, on the surface, looks this nice, could possibly make THIS MANY small 'mistakes.'"
The absolute best thing you can do if you see AI-generated images being treated as real art is just nothing. Support actual artists you love, and don't spread the fakes.
Thanks for your time, everyone. Good luck avoiding AI-generated pieces in the future, please signal boost this, and feel free to get in touch if you think I can help you with anything related to this.
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ms-demeanor · 8 months ago
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do you have, among your many guides, anything for How To Do Taxes without paying some shithead company $200?
I do not because taxes are a nightmare; i looked into trying to create a guide and realized I could cause people for-realsies problems because the system is set up to change regularly and trip you up.
I do know that as of 2024 if you make under $79k a year there is a free file option with the IRS: https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free
I want to be clear: doing taxes is a fucking nightmare and I hate it, filling out the forms is confusing and upsetting and seems to be worded in the hardest to understand way possible. But I also just sit down and fill out the forms and do the math with no other software; I do not generally pay people to do my taxes because I sit down and do the paperwork myself (or ask Large Bastard to do it because he's better at reading numbers correctly; emotionally I'm more likely to cry and he's more likely to rage-quit so it's a wash on that end).
The IRS website has a step-by-step guide: https://www.irs.gov/how-to-file-your-taxes-step-by-step
The way that I do ANYTHING that I don't know how to do is:
Look up a step by step set of instructions
Search anything that I don't understand in those instructions and research until I've got a handle on it then rewrite that information in a way that I understand it
Read through the instructions from beginning to end, double-checking that I know what each term means
Make sure that I've got everything that the instructions call for in front of me
Follow the instructions step by step; if I get stopped or have a problem I will search the problem using combinations of key terms until I figure out an approach and will try various approaches until that works and I get to the next step
IF I CAN'T GET PAST THAT STEP I call for help from someone who knows this better than I do.
Continue following steps miserably until I am done and can wash my hands of the mess and/or test results.
This is how I learn to cook things and fix cars and thread sewing machines and put trim line in weed whackers and do taxes. Find instructions, make sure I understand instructions, make sure I have everything required for the project, follow instructions, make sure I've got a phone-a-friend handy, and check my work after.
It's not very specific advice for taxes, but it's how I do new stuff (or stuff that isn't new but that I find confusing every time, like taxes).
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ihaveanaversiontodecisions · 5 months ago
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okay I am not involved in the current call out drama personally but it's made its way to my Twitter feed and im so genuinely confused because have none of you interacted with fandom before?
yes, the jrwi boys explicitly stated that there is a hard boundary against rpf about them and that they do not want to be shown nsfw art/ fics of their characters. these are reasonable boundaries to have, and they should 1000% be respected.
HOWEVER: they also explicitly said that they could not stop people and they're RIGHT. fandom is, at its core, weird. people write weird, gross, and even immoral shit all of the time. thats what tagging systems, scrolling, or blocking fan creators is for. for example: i really hate arthur being shipped with either of the twins or the twins being shipped together. i think its gross. so i exclude tags, and i scroll. its that easy! weird stuff will always exist on the internet, and nsfw works in the jrwi tag have some of the highest hits. many people read and write these things casually, and that isn't inherently wrong.
it's completely understandable that the jrwi guys dont want to see the characters that they put pieces of themselves into in nsfw situations. SO don't show them!!! as a general rule, you should not be showing, @ing, or sending creators of any media your fanwork, especially if it's suggestive or gorey. THAT is what a boundary looks like. fandom is not for creators anyways, and involving them in it tends to break many creators boundaries, even in more innocent situations (as a general pattern I've observed)
the person who made the call out post is a minor. they are likely steeped deeply in purity culture and have not interacted with fandom much. HOWEVER, calling specific people out by name is not a cool move. these are not bad people. they aren't being bigoted or doing harmful things irl or in the community, and their fan content is relatively harmless as well. they are simply creating things that people feel uncomfortable with on a personal level, and instead of blocking or scrolling, people have decided that they are morally bad people. and that's just... wrong?
sorry about this rant but writing "weird" or "gross" things is not a cancelable offense; it's a part of being in fandom. I am begging anyone who is genuinely upset by this to click on a supernatural or mha tag on ao3 and scroll for 3 seconds. I promise people writing correctly tagged gore or porn that will never be seen by people who don't want to see it is not the end of the world.
love you to the people who got called out and have been getting hate anons if you see this. yall are cool as hell
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yeeterthek33per · 2 months ago
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Two's Company, Three's A Crowd, Four And Five Say Let Chaos Reign (Katrina Gorry x Reader)
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A/n Requested. Part three to Missing Toddlers and Mayhem :) Will Edit later, cause I'm at work atm y'all.
(Y'all this took me so long freaking long to write like 😭)
Content/Warning(s): mildly suggestive, warning you now, it does get a little itty bit spicy. Harper, Kyra, R, and Chacha ganging up on Katrina.
Hot Stuff❤️🥵
"So do I get to know where we're going or are we doing a surprise again, because the last time we did this, I got my butt kicked on a public beach."
Katrina🔥❤️
"If I recall correctly, that was your fault, Miss L/n."
Katrina🔥❤️
"Also, no 😘"
Hot Stuff❤️🥵
"I don't recall going into this knowing you were a professional slide tackler😫"
Katrina🔥❤️
"Could have left the gear in the boot and never mentioned it. You should know us footballers are legally obligated to accept rondo challenges 😜"
Hot Stuff❤️🥵
"☹️"
Katrina🔥❤️
"Turn that frown upside down, Babe😊"
Hot Stuff❤️🥵
"🙃"
Katrina🔥❤️
"Smartass🙄"
Katrina🔥❤️
"But close enough."
Katrina🔥❤️
"Just be ready by 12, I'll be there soon😘"
Hot Stuff ❤️🥵
"Of course, see you soon, Gorgeous😘"
Hot Stuff ❤️🥵
"Wait"
Hot Stuff ❤️🥵
"What do I wear??"
Katrina🔥❤️
"Hike meets cozy casual😘"
Hot Stuff ❤️🥵
"Got it, thanks, Cutie😘"
You'd been talking non stop in the days between the last time you'd seen each other in person.
Over the phone, via text, even a facetime at some point, where Harper managed to sneak in and say a very happy hello to you.
The little girl manages to bring a massive smile to your face every time Katrina talks about her.
There was always a smile on your face lately, or so your sister had pointed out just yesterday.
"I swear that woman's got you glued to your phone, dorky little smile and everything."
"Leave me alone, Ash." You whine.
A soft rap on your door lifts your head from your current position of smiling over your phone.
You really need to stop proving her point.
Ashley opens the door, a small smirk already on her face making you roll your eyes.
"Can I help you?"
"It's date time soon, why are you not ready?"
"How would you know what-"
"You told me yesterday, all dreamy eyed. Geez, she got you hypnotised too now?"
You huff.
"Whatever, why are you in here?"
"Because you're being awfully quiet about this Kat and I'm worried, because you haven't said a word about who she is or what she does."
"I haven't been murdered, I'm fine, you can stop grilling, nor are you grilling her when she gets here."
"I have to do my sisterly duties, now hurry up and get ready or else I'll have longer with her because you're running late for your date."
Glancing at the clock on your wall, she's right, it's about forty or so minutes before Katrina is due.
Standing up, you shoo the woman out of your room and quickly jump into the shower, grabbing out a pair of hiking pants, a simple short sleeve shirt and a light blue denim jacket.
By the time you're out of the shower dressed and touching up your hair, there's a knock at the door downstairs.
You fire down them, shoving your sister, who's racing you to the door, away.
As smoothly as you can, you open the door with a warm smile.
Katrina's warm smile greets your own.
She's beautiful as ever and you tell her as such, the long sleeve jacket almost matching your own except she's in shorts and sneakers and a light pink button up underneath it.
"Hey, Beautiful."
You step out the door to greet the shorter woman, arms wrapping around her, her leaning up into you, hands settling on your shoulder blades.
"Hi, Cutie."
You pout softly as she goes to pull away, and then she chuckles meeting your demands with her own lips.
Humming softly in appreciation, you squeeze her waist.
"You ready?"
Nodding, you go to shut the door behind you, keys, phone, wallet and water bottle already with you.
Of course, Ashley decides now is the perfect time to pop out, only, she pauses, surprise on her expression.
"Well... I was going to do the whole sisterly, bring her back by ten talk but... I don't need to. You two have fun!"
And with that, she slams the door behind you, giving you a loving tap to the butt.
Katrina looks confused, matching your own bewilderment at your sisters actions.
"I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what that was."
You cough into your palm, covering a half laugh.
"Anyway, continuing on. Are we good to go?"
She nods, grabbing you by the hand, leading you to the car parked in your driveway.
Clipping in, she reverses out and starts driving off in the direction of the northern exit from the outer city, a drive you know well enough, having gone this way quite a few times.
She leans over and hands you a black cable, winking at you from her spot in the driver's seat.
"Passenger princess duties are all yours."
The cheeky grin makes you roll yours playfully with a small huff.
"Sure, babe."
Switching to some music you'd both listened to that Saturday night, your hand settles in hers across the console as you hit the highway.
"So, do I get to know, yet?"
"Nope."
It's short, the little smile on her lips doing little to mask the amusement in her tone, her brow quirking a little at the pout on your face.
"Patience."
"Yes, Ma'am."
Making a joking salute, you start to hum along to the radio, thumb caressing across the back of her hand.
She huffs, shaking her head but gives your hand a squeeze anyway.
The drive isn't overly long, no longer than any of the trips you've taken, about forty-five minutes on the road.
You feel like you almost recognise the roads she's taking but a right turn far before anything else comes up on the forested roads throws you a curveball.
Normally you'd been one of the more observant travellers on these roads, however, it seems you'd never paid the tiny dirt road any mind before now.
The greenery, denser than when you'd entered the little driveway, started to part into a small dirt and gravel alcove, to which Katrina pulls in, parking in front a small wooden bollard that lines the alcove.
There's dense green directly in front of you that splits into a small dirt and gravel path which disappears off to the right in a slow curve.
Reaching across the console, she taps your leg with a small grin.
"Hope you brought your hiking legs."
Scoffing, you nudge the woman and basically bounce out of the car in the face of her challenge.
"Damn right I did."
It starts off fairly easy, a basic hiking path for anyone, not much change in altitude but then it starts to increase, and you find yourself falling into the familiar rhythm that you love when it comes to hiking.
If you'd said that to your teenage self, she would've cried at the mention of cardio.
Katrina, it seems, falls into the same familiar feeling, the mild sweat from the hike mixing but also the complete relaxation in her stance as she moves beside you, ahead of you in smaller sections of the path and behind you as you move ahead to crest the more difficult bits first as a precautionary.
It's the first time you really fall into an understanding that someone else gets.
There's a peacefulness to the area surrounding you, bird chimes and occasional cicada chirps as you pass by certain bushes and grass patches.
You think you even spot a small rabbit hopping off the path ahead of you.
Finally, the incline slopes downward again, and then leads down and off to the left, the faint smell of moss and running water becoming more apparent to breathe in, it's refreshing.
"God, I've missed this."
She sounds rightly out of breath as she steps onto a particularly tall rock lodged into the path.
"You've been missing out, then?"
"Far too much, between how cold it got in Sweden and just not really going too far from the city, it's been a good while since I've even gotten to take Harper on smaller hikes."
"Damn, life of an athlete, much?"
A small joking lilt.
"Ha ha."
You can practically see her eye roll from where you're walking in front of the woman.
"It's not that bad, just keeps our lives hectic if anything."
You hum.
"How's Harper feel about that?"
You miss the way her lips curl up at the mention of the mini-mini.
"She loves it if anything, sleepovers with Nonna three times a week and when the international break pops up, she gets to stay with the team and see all twenty-two of her aunties and siblings."
The closer you get to the running water, the less the trees hang over the both of you and the more the suns starts to bead down on your light blue shirt, the warmth very familiar as winter shifts into spring once again.
It's been about an hour or so since you'd started off on the track.
She moves in front of you, turning with a small nod and grin in the direction of the beginning of a large clearing.
"C'mon, we're getting close."
The sun shines through the light brunette hair around the tops and sides of her head that most likely refused to be tied down properly, but in a neat, casual setting.
Slowing to a stop near where she's starting to descend a slightly steeper part of the path, you look out into the opening, a large water not far off to your one o'clock, the green moss abundant around its edges and the dampened ground surrounding the flowing water and the small pool built up around its base.
The pool breaks off into a surpisingly sandy bay that opens into a much larger river, flowing from another path away from you and out into what you see is the beach.
You nearly miss the small misstep as she steps on a mossed up stone, grabbing her arm to stop her falling, alarm on your face.
"Thanks."
"I gotcha."
You nod softly, hand squeezing her bicep, continuing jokingly.
"No hurting yourself, as much as I'd love to carry you back.."
She smacks you a little with a laugh before continuing down a different stone to avoid the same outcome.
"Real funny, Babe."
It's one massive secluded beach and it reminds you heavily of your first tryst together.
Only this time, it's much more private and less accessible, something you can almost appreciate with the nature of it all.
Privacy.
Another understanding between you.
As a public figure and known football player, Katrina knows the feeling well.
It doesn't come often, with media days a regular occurrence and spending near all of her time with teammates, club and country as well as with a two-year-old toddler at all hours of the day.
Of course, she wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
But privacy is a luxury that not even well paid athletes can afford.
So she understands the immediate droop and sigh of contentment when you see the vast empty beach and nothing but the sound of crashing waves and bird song behind you.
Letting your head fall back as you take in the cool summer breeze from the coastline, the smell of sea salt and damp greenery filling your senses, your head turns to look at the shorter woman.
She's already watching you, a small challenging smirk on her face that brings you back to the present.
"...What's up?"
"Nothing, I figured a nice walk and then a rematch would be a great way to start our day together."
"Rematch?... Wait-"
You're cut off as she suddenly pops out a soccer ball from behind her that she'd apparently managed to hide in her backpack the whole way, and tosses it towards you, darting off towards the beach.
"C'mon, I wanna see if you've learned anything yet!"
Jogging after her, you yell out.
"You mean that I'm not the professional footballer in this scenario and that I'm going to get my butt kicked again?"
"I'll make a baller out of you, yet, now get out here!"
It goes on like that for a while, how long exactly, you aren't sure but by the time you both land breathless onto the sand, mainly you, the sun is leaning more towards the other side of the sky.
"I hope you brought snacks, because I'm gonna need them after that last one."
Katrina giggles down at your dead flat form on the ground, chest heaving.
“You can’t give up on me now, to think you were just getting close to beating me.”
The teasing lilt to her voice makes you swat at her ankle lightly.
“Close, my ass. It’s like twenty-six to three.”
“Actually it’s about nineteen to six.”
She kicks you in the foot, tossing up a little sand in the air towards you in the process, landing near your face.
“Hey!”
“Whoops?”
Darting up, surprising yourself you tackle the woman into the soft white sand, landing on top of her.
“That is so not allowed, that was a dirty play ref!”
You call out to the imaginary sideline ref pointing off into the distance with a fake angry face on.
She’s laughing underneath you, almost breathless because of your weight on her stomach, and her hands settle to grip your hips, as you look back down at the woman with a small pout.
“Aw poor baby.”
It’s a little mocking tone that you pout more at.
Poking her tongue out up at you, she sits up slightly to tug you back down towards her, your hands landing either side of her head and you shift to be more level with the woman’s head.
“Hi.”
Grinning once again, you brush your nose against hers.
“Hi.”
A small peck to her lips is all she needs to tug you further down, fully sealing yourselves together, lips locked.
The breeze blows over your back, and the sounds of the waves wash away as you sink fully into the shorter woman, lips sliding across hers.
A new but familiar sensation, becoming accustomed to having the air in your lungs sucked from you every time you kiss her.
Sighing softly into her mouth, you take the opportunity to let your hand wander over the crook of her neck, before shifting to rest over her collar and then over her neck again.
It’s not intentional when you do it, but your thumb almost caresses the column of her throat and it’s her turn to sigh into the kiss.
Pulling away for a small breath, she notes the way your fingers now rest just under her jaw, on her neck, sending shivers through her.
If you noticed it, you don’t say anything, instead diving right back into her, fingers squeezing the skin slightly.
It seems you notice the way she hums into the kiss, a small smirk crossing your face as you let up once more.
The effect you have on her is shown well and truly in the way her cheeks redden and the part in her lips as her eyes open to meet yours.
“Hi.”
A warmth spreads through you at the smile she gives you once more.
“C’mon.”
Nudging you up once more, she pulls herself up, offering you a hand up.
Taking it, you stand close to her still, hands settling on her waist.
“So, what’s next then?”
Her hands grab yours and drag you over to where the bag lies in the sand.
“A little walk and wander and maybe a little bit more of that before dinner, hey?”
Grinning, you tug her towards the bag.
It’s just minutes back on the path that you tug her back into you for more.
You’d say you were someone who had quite the ability for self restraint, especially in previous relationships, but with Katrina, she’s just there, and it makes you want to kiss the daylights out of her every second you’re together.
Inevitably, it takes you both longer on the way back to the car, stopping every ten minutes to admire the scenery in a way only a couple making out against every tree can.
By the fifth time she’s resigned to let you do it every five minutes, more than happily letting the privacy you two have, consume you for the moment.
The way she tugs your neck down herself after an hour of this makes you well aware of the fact she feels the same.
Addicted to the way you taste.
Addicted to the way your lips slide so perfectly on her own.
By the time you get back to the car, you both look more than kiss-mussed, swollen lips, occasional purple marks over your neck when her teeth nipped at the skin.
Like love-sick teenagers.
But not that.
Not yet.
Pressed against the driver-side door, she looks up at you with a look you can’t describe other than pure and utter infatuation.
It makes your heart flip and twist like never before, the fact that someone can look at you like that.
It’s invigorating.
The brunette eventually lets go of you, and you pull back to let her off the car with a very content smile on your lips.
Opening the door for her, you gesture her into the car.
“Shall we go?”
A breathless nod and she’s in the car feeling as giddy as anything.
‘Breathe woman.’
She tells herself.
Settling into the passenger seat after packing the bags into the boot, you buckle in and the whole drive spent going to your next outing is one with clasped hands and small kisses pressed to the back of her hand and wrist.
When you pull up to a familiar club, it makes your heart swell a little.
She’d wanted to come back because the overall ambiance of the place was warm and welcoming and it made her feel comfortable in a place she wouldn’t normally spend any time going to.
Clubs have never been her thing but there was something about this one.
Maybe it was the fact you were involved in it. That it was attached to your first date together.
That would make sense.
You’ve been the deepest breath of fresh air she’s had in a long time. Even with the invigoration of her sport, her work, her home, her daughter. You’re new in her life and it makes her heart feel even more full.
The fact you adore every aspect of her life, her home, her family, makes it all that much better.
The fact that you ask to spend more time with her family without prompting when you both sit down for drinks makes her heart leap.
“Can we do the next one with Harper?”
There's a small sheepish smile on your face.
"It's just been a while since we've all had some time spent together and I miss her-"
Katrina cuts you off with a reassuring smile and a hand on yours.
“I was beginning to wonder when you’d ask again, of course we can, she’s been begging to know when she can see her new friend.”
You smile at the thought.
You had missed the little one quite a bit.
Her wide smile and nearly always happy personality brought so much light into your life that day.
When your drinks are sat down in front of you by a knowingly smirking Aiden.
“Whenever you ladies are ready, I’ve got you queued up with a classic.”
Taking a peek at the ipad in his hands, you see the song and roll your eyes.
It’s one you performed all the time for about three months straight because that’s all people would request from you.
Dragging the woman up with your drinks and a wink at the woman who’s just resigned to the fact she now has to sing every time she’s with you here.
There’s an adoration in her eyes as you step up onto the stage, keeping your eyes locked on hers and speak into the mic with a small wink.
“Hey everyone, we’ve got a good old classic today, it seems I’ve been requested of this one with my duet partner. Everyone thank Aiden for us.”
When the instrumental starts, Katrina half huffs at the song choice, half laughs.
Love Shack by The B-52
You start the song off, letting her get comfortable with the song first.
If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says "15 miles to the Love Shack"
Love Shack, yeah, yeah I'm heading down the Atlanta highway Looking for the love getaway
Bouncing to the beat slightly, you encourage her to move with you, gesturing down at the second mic that has been slipped into her grasp.
Headed for the love getaway I got me a car, it's as big as a whale And we're headin' on down to the Love Shack I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20 So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
You almost have to laugh, she's better at this song than most would expect.
In fact, you'd bet she was better than you.
The love shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby (the Love Shack, baby) Love Shack, baby, Love Shack Love Shack, baby, Love Shack Love Shack, baby, Love Shack (love, baby, that's where it's at) Love Shack, baby, Love Shack (love, baby, that's where it's at)
The pair of you yelling the chorus into the mic has a few people in the bar up and singing along as well, a few whistles and cheers as the pair of you keep making eye contact with each other.
Sign says (woo), "Stay away, fools" 'Cause love rules at the Love Shack Well, it's set way back in the middle of a field Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back
There's something about the way she dips and kisses you mid song.
You know you're screwed when she pulls you back up and there's a wink thrown your way as she turns to the crowd and starts hopping along to the beat finally, encouraging them to do the same.
You never thought you'd be up here, jamming along with a woman who's been matching your adventurous nature since you've met her.
Despite being someone who has somehow managed to calm your erratic nature, she's also had the more energetic side of her brought out that she normally only sees amongst the kids of the team.
Glitter on the mattress Glitter on the highway Glitter on the front porch Glitter on the highway
There's a small giggle she let's out as you step up and belt out the next verse.
The Love Shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby (Love Shack, baby) Love Shack, that's where it's at Love Shack, that's where it's at
You don't miss the small shake of her head when you poke your tongue out between your teeth cheekily at her.
In fact your eyes stay on her for the majority of the song, every movement, every gesture, every expression, every grin while she sings with you.
The sweetest brightest laughter as you both duck off the stage panting is what seals the deal for you.
Her eyes glint with joy up at you and that's when you know she has you hook line and sinker.
-
"So he had to bail you out?!"
"I know right?"
"Babe that is so not-"
"Waitwaitwait before you judge me on it-"
She snorts and covers her mouth at the small glare you give her across the table, having to silence your own laughter to make it hold even a remote amount of sincerity, though she knows otherwise by the quirk in your lips.
Standing, you gesture to the door, wanting to get away from the loudness of the bar for a few moments.
You continue outside into the slowly cooling afternoon air.
"The dude had it coming, he was being way too touchy with this poor girl and security was not doing anything-"
"So you drop him in a trash can after throwing hot sauce in his eyes?!"
"It was well deserved, she was very grateful to not be harassed by that asshole anymore. Besides, the assault charges were dropped when I offered to show them the club footage of him grabbing where he shouldn't"
"Still, you shouldn't have risked going to jail over that-"
"I'd have broken his nose, too, but I literally just had a manicure done finally after like a year of refusing to go, I didn't feel like being made to go back, again."
An amused shake of her head as you both slowly walk down the path to the carpark.
"You're something else."
"That better be a good thing."
She giggles at the half pearl clutch gesture you make in response paired with an offended look.
"Of course it is, babe."
Giving your hand a squeeze, she can only smile at the grumpy look you give her.
"Hush you."
"Or what?"
"Or I might just do something about it."
"Do it."
A beat of silence, your eyes locked on the cocky smirk on her face.
She's baiting you, you know it.
Of course, you take it.
Two steps back towards her.
Three steps pushing her back into the building wall.
One more to find your place pressed against her.
None to press your lips into hers like they'd never separated in the first place.
The small hum she lets out as you do so makes the idea of the very public display suddenly leave your mind, wanting nothing more than to hear more from her.
It's when you pull away gently with a tug and pop that you both pull back a little breathless.
"That works."
She says, eyes still closed, breathing ragged.
You notice a flash of movement, thinking it was a stranger walking by until a small body crashes into the woman in front of you.
"Mummy!"
"Oh my god, Harper what did I say about running off like that? Especially across roads?! You can't do tha-"
A huffing, clearly scared looking Charlie practically sprints around the corner, bent over at the knees.
Her head snaps up at the realisation of who Harper's managed to run into.
"Oh! Mini, Hi!"
The brunette looks a little unimpressed at the blonde.
You get the distinct feeling it's less from the interruption and more the words of the woman who'd just been sprinting after her daughter.
"Charlotte Grant..."
"Wait. Wait. I didn't- She ran off. I promise I was doing everything to chase her down. It was a little road."
Katrina sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.
The tiny human being attached to her leg looks up at her with an innocent grin on her face.
"Harper, what did we say about running off?"
Picking up the smaller blonde, sitting her on her hip.
Suddenly very sheepish looking like only a toddler can, she looks in your direction in search of something to avoid the conversation.
Of course, with you being you, she does very quickly.
Practically jumping into your arms with excited squeal, the small child latches onto you out of the older woman's arms.
"Y/n/n!"
Giving her a squeeze, a few giggles leaving your lips at the affection from the little girl you hadn't seen in person since that first day, only catching some time talking to the little one over a phone screen.
"Hi Harper, whatcha doin here, huh?"
"Goin to the park."
"Is that right?"
You smile and wave to Charlie with an amused glint in your eye.
The twenty-two year old nods sheepishly.
Looking down at the little one in your arms, you raise a brow in her direction, too.
She nods enthusiastically, her little arms wound tight around your neck as she lays her head on your shoulder.
Katrina watches the exchange between her daughter and yourself with a hardly hidden heart eyes look.
She'd totally forgotten that the park they usually go to is only a couple blocks from where you both were, but it's on the other side.
Raising her brows in Charlie's direction, a small questioning look on her face.
"I can... explain.."
Another pair of footsteps come running around the corner, too, nearly bumping into the blonde, a mop of now very messy wind blown brunette hair.
"Charlie did you get her- oof!"
Nearly ending up in a tangled mess on the floor, Charlie catches the both of them from falling.
"Idiot."
"Hey! You're the one that- Oh hey, Min', we were just- oh."
The mischievous look on Kyra's face that appears at the sight of you.
"That's what you were busy with today. Or who you were busy with."
She wiggles her brows at the older woman.
"I swear, do I need to start leaving you three with Nonna, again?"
Harper's head whips up so fast, you nearly clash heads and you're surprised she doesn't give herself whiplash.
"Nonna? Can we go see Nonna?"
"Sorry Harps', you can see Nonna tomorrow, it's just Kyra and ChaCha for now, alright?"
The little girl pouts for a minute before settling back into your arms.
"Oky, I stay wiv y/n/n, then."
You chuckle at her, before looking up at Katrina.
"Mind going for a walk to the park?"
She sighs softly, before shrugging.
"Alright, why not?"
You pass the little girl back to Charlie, much to her protests.
"One minute Harps, You can hop up again in a bit, I need to talk to mum first alright?"
She pouts before nodding.
You nod at the two to walk ahead, grabbing Katrina's hand softly.
"We can always continue later? You haven't got anything time sensitive?"
She shakes her head no with a small chuckle.
"Just a walk in restaurant, they're open late, though, it'll be fine."
You quirk a brow at her, and she makes the lip-zipping motion.
"C'mon, we've got a little girl waiting."
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you both walk slowly behind the group, though quickly get dragged into carrying Harper for the remainder of the walk, still holding hands with the shorter woman beside you.
The pair of twenty-somethings ahead bickering only serves as a reminder of how chaotic this life is for the Footballer, yet it doesn't bother you.
In fact, it feels like something so much bigger for you, something you could get behind.
You don't want to commit yourself so early, but you don't fight the way your heart swells with a little love each and every word you exchange with both Harper and Katrina.
By the time you're both wandering back to the car, late after Kyra and Charlie have left, taking the little one back home to bed.
Late after having sat and eaten and discussed everything from Harper to thousands of kilometres away worlds of a sport you've never found yourself loving before now.
At least now, it seems you've found your favourite people entwined with it.
It's then you find yourself wanting to learn more.
"Hey, I know this is probably something you hear with your work a lot, but just, talk to me about football, anything you want, the rules, the games, anything."
She looks a little surprised that you bring it up, considering you've never personally been a big sports fan, at least, as much as she's known for the past couple weeks.
"I thought you didn't want to know about it?"
"Actually, I want to learn about it, if I'm gonna be showing up to my sister's matches, and maybe get to see you."
You pause, and the last bit is said with a little sheepishness behind it, though you don't miss the way her smile widens at it.
"I wanna know about the game. Or even just your experiences with it. What do you love about it? Tell me anything."
With that, she starts off on where she started with it, how much she loved it as a kid, how she always spent time playing it with her brothers, her time in the academy, in the beginning with the youth team in Mount Gravatt, to her start with the Melbourne Victory and everywhere after.
How she came to Brisbane Roar, her time in the US.
Her injury, her time spent trying to recover. Of course, she's told you the basics of how Harper came to be.
She talks about some of the bigger games she's played.
About the upcoming World Cup in July.
"You should come see us play."
"You'd want me there?"
"Of course I would."
It's said short and almost in an offended tone, but it shows so much more for you.
She wants you there at the biggest stage of her career.
You don't protest it.
"I'll be there, then."
"Good, I would hate to have to pack you into a suitcase to drag you to camp with us instead."
A laugh escapes your lips at that, head tilted back in laughter.
"Of course you would. You're cute. No but seriously, are you sure? I wouldn't be intruding?"
"Hell no, if eighty thousand other people can be there to watch it, why can't you?"
"Fair enough."
You continue like that, laughing, chatting, letting her rant on and on about everything and anything because you could listen to this woman go on and on for hours with no complaint.
Swinging your joined hands as you both wander along the boardwalk she'd taken you to, you look out on the slowly darkening skies over the water.
The colours are as amazing to witness as always, to the point where you both settle on a bench to relax a bit and watch it darken a bit longer.
The sparkle of the fading sun behind you warms your backs as you both settle into each other, the shorter woman contentedly tucked into your side, words starting to slow and you both quieten to enjoy the moment.
"Hey."
"Hm?"
Turning your head to meet her gaze with the tips of her fingers.
"I like you. A lot."
You grin.
"I would hope so. Or this could be really awkward for- hey!"
She smacks your shoulder with a little roll of her eyes.
"Kidding. I really like you, too."
"Too? I only said like not really."
You guffaw at the woman.
"Hey!"
She giggles.
"Okay, I deserved that."
Grinning, you lean down to meet her lips for the what seems like thousandth time today, though, neither of you mind at all.
It's soft, sweet and much less urgent than all of the ones earlier.
It's easy.
You find it easier and easier with each pass to kiss her.
There's a way she spends the time holding your face, caressing the skin of your cheek, that has you in an absolute whirlwind of just... her.
It's invigorating beyond anything.
Yet also, cathartic.
She tastes like home.
And who knows, maybe this is what you've been missing.
The cathartic parts.
A way to calm an already chaotic life.
Sure, she's a professional footballer, that gets chaotic more than a lot of jobs do but it's the way she handles everything. Somehow able to juggle the life of having a child and playing football across the country and internationally when called to.
But to be honest with yourself, there's nowhere you'd rather be than with this somehow new cemented person in your life.
You can't wait to see where this goes.
-
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH THE KATRINA GORRY!"
"Jesus fucking Christ, Ashley! Chill!"
-------------------
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olderthannetfic · 8 months ago
Note
I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?
--
No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.
That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.
Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.
(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)
Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.
Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.
The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.
Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)
On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.
I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.
But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.
Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.
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stephiramona · 5 days ago
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The tale of two cities according to Heiko and Stephi - Part 498
Germany is a beer country and therefore we're more famous for our beer than for our wine. Heiko and I had several posts about beer in our "tales" but if I remember correctly, we never wrote about German wine. Sadly, now I'm the one who has to write about wine, which is not ideal because I can't drink wine and so I don't know a lot about wine at all. But surely some needed a good wine to celebrate the political changes of this week or to compensate for the frustration about it. Or maybe even both, because this week two big political changes happened.
The first change was the US elections. Many people here in Germany followed the US election because the outcome also influences us, just as it influences many other countries in the world.
And here most people hoped for a different outcome, while most people were happy about the changes in German politics this week. I will try to explain this briefly to non-Germans. In Germany, we have several parties to vote for. And because we have so many parties, usually none of them gets a real majority. So different parties have to coalition to govern for the next four years. The last election was almost three years ago and a three-party-coalition was made. That didn't work well. The political views of these three parties were too different and they had so many fights that it only got more and more frustrating. But on Wednesday, our Bundeskanzler Olaf Scholz made public that - basically - one of the three parties is out.
So we need early elections. New votes, new hopes.
I also want to mention the two German historical dates of this week: November 9th, 1938, was one of the most horrible dates in German history. The "Novemberpogrome" or "Reichskristallnacht". On this night, the Nazis damaged so many synagogues, businesses, and houses of Jewish people, and murdered many Jews. A really horrible night under a horrible regime.
November 9th, 1989, was a better date: the Berlin Wall fell. For 28 years, the country, including families, and friends were split into two parts: West Germany and the DDR. After the wall fell, families and friends were able to reunite and 11 months later, on October 3rd, Germany reunited.
I hope you can forgive me that I mixed so much political and historical stuff into this post which originally should have been about wine. (BTW, the first photo was taken by Heiko and shows the wine museum in Cologne, and the second one shows a wine shop in Munich).
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flkwh0re · 1 year ago
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Feel Right
Warnings! Cheating, little bit of angst, smut, small mommy kink.
Summary: You’ve had a crush on natasha for years, but she’s dating Steve. What will happen?
A/n: i need to work on writing longer fics 😭
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Natasha, the girl you loved. The girl who was in love with a man who didn't love her. It seriously ached your heart seeing her heart be crushed by him every day. Steve was his name, you hated him and that girl he's always with. She had been dating him for a few months now, at first the relationship seemed so good it genuinely gave you zero hope of finally being with the woman you love. Seeing him run around with that Peggy girl really pissed you off. You never said anything to Natasha because you didn't want to see her soul crushed, but you're on the verge of almost letting it slip.
Wanda, your neighbor and best friend, invited you over early to set up for your monthly catch-up lunch with Natasha. You were surprised though when Natasha came through the door, with Steve. Wanda seemed disappointed that it wouldn't just be the three of you, but also didn't seem to mind because the three go back. They all used to be good friends in high school, but going off to college and Steve joining the military kind of separated the group.
Wanda was aware of your crush; she could see it the moment you met her. She could see the way you looked at Natahsa all too clearly. She finally asked you one day, before meeting up with Natasha. You denied it, but eventually her teasing got to you. It honestly helped you and Wanda grow close.
You all had sat around the table, air slightly tense. Wanda broke the tension by speaking first, "It's nice to see you Steve, how have you been?" She questioned in a half genuine, half sarcastic tone. "Oh well, not too crazy. Just work stuff, and Nat." You had to hold back your scoff. Wanda could already suspect your anger for the man being here.
Steve's phone rang, and you watched him carefully as he scurried to answer his phone. You gave Wanda a look, then he excused himself in a hurry. He gave Natahsa a side hug, not even a kiss. You watched the sadness on her face, only causing your heart to hurt.
"Nat, are you okay?" You broke the silence, her face relaxing. "Yes, things have just been" she paused, "off." You watched Wanda's face quickly turn to a worried look. "Welp, since it's just us girls why don't we spend our time well together! We can watch a movie and have some wine." Natasha's face lit up with a smile, bringing a smile to yours.
Time had passed, and you were saying your goodbyes. Standing on Wanda's porch with Natasha, you asked her if she would like you to walk her home which she declined. "Are you sure Nat? I really don't mine." She shook her head, "It's fine Y/n, it's not like I live three neighborhoods away." She giggled, to which you sighed in defeat. "Fine."
You and Natasha departed, but it didn't take long for her to show up at your door with tears streaming down her face. "Natty, what's wrong?" She tried to choke out an answer, but she couldn't, so you just pulled her into your house. You gave her a moment to breathe, then asked her again. 'Steve, he" her hesitation to tell you gave you an idea of the situation. "Steve was cheating on me in my own bed!" She choked out. You pull her body into your arms and hold her.
It had taken a while for her to calm down, but glass, after glass of wine calmed her till she was a giggling mess in your arms. She looked, into your eyes then something in her snapped. Her lips eagerly met yours. "Nat, why did you do that?" She looked at you and smiled. "It felt right, you feel right." Your eyes widened in shock at her words. Had you heard her correctly? Is she thinking incorrectly?
She scooted her body closer to yours, placing her hands on your face drawing you lips closer to hers. She sealed your lips for a second time, this time only with more passion. "I need you Y/n, I need to have you right now. I can't believe it's taken this for me to realize, but I'm in love with you." You sat in shock, but you were also happy.
You quickly climbed onto her lap, reclaiming her lips back onto yours. Her hands roam your body, causing moans to escape your throat. You grind your hips into her, whimpering as she slips her tongue into your mouth. She slowly drags kisses down you neck, and collar. Eagerly you remove your shirt, and she helps you take your bra off.
She slides her tongue down your breast, circling it around your nipple. Taking the mound into her mouth, pulling moans from you. "Tasha please." She looked up at you, " What baby? Tell me what you want." You reluctantly spoke out, "Please Natty I need you to fuck me." She quickly swapped your positions, so you were laying under her. She slowly unbuttoned your pants, pulling them down with your panties.
She kneeled in front of your core, sticking out her tongue dragging it up and down your slit. She worked her tongue and mouth on your pussy, sucking and licking on your clit. She caught you off guard when she slipped her fingers in you, moving them at a slow agonizing pace. Her pace quickened, and your moans got louder. "That feel good baby? You gonna cum on mommy's fingers?" Her words caused you to clench around her digits, and she let out a soft chuckle.
She sped her thrust up, causing you to scream out as your orgasm crashed through. She moved her fingers slowly, helping you ride out your orgasm. She removed her fingers from your dripping cunt, sucking off your juices. You went to reach for your clothes until she stopped you. "I'm not done with you yet baby."
The following day you woke in her arms, to her phone ringing nonstop. You softly nudge her awake. She got her phone and sighed, "It's Steve I better answer and tell him we're over." You listened carefully at what she was saying to him, 99% of it was just her shouting at him. You were happy though, she was finally yours and you were finally hers. You could not wait to tell Wanda!
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brucewaynehater101 · 6 months ago
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I'm so glad you like it! Honestly, I'm pretty jealous as well. Though, I don't doubt he has the white noise generator and uses it on more than just those trips. Could you imagine Bruce and the other Bats going to the Supers, Clark, Kon, Kara, and Jon (who if I remember correctly has the best ears out of all of them) and when asked to track him down by sound, all of them are just like, "Red Robin? Oh no we can't do that." and when asked why, Clark gets nervous and says, "well. None of us have ever been able to hear his heart beat. We don't know what tech or magic he uses but *none* of us have ever been able to hear his heart. Not since he was 15. I asked you one time why I couldn't hear him and you just hummed at me!"
Meanwhile panic is rising in not just the hero community, but also the villain one. Red Robin has a *lot* of connections and if someone took or heaven forbid killed him? The Gothem Rouges remember what happened when the second Robin died, they know how bad Batman got. Now the Robin who saved them from him is gone? And now Nightwing and Red Hood and Spoiler and all the rest are on a Hunt, getting more violent like Batman did? Oh no, they are all going into hiding until this blows over.
Then there's also the villains connected to members of Young Justice. The Flash's Rouges Gallery hears that one of the Mini Speedsters is in a grief spiral and could end up seriously hurting them because one of his best friends has gone missing and is presumed dead? Fuck No. They are keeping their noses clean until it's done. So are the people who tend to antagonize Metropolis because Kon is *not* holding back. He grabbed Matallo and used his TTK to make him fall into thousands of pieces and then just stared down at him with a cold look of anger before leaving. Dr Light when to the ER when he tried to mess with the Teen Titans while both Dick and Damian were still on call and Tim was missing.
On day four of Tim being missing, Damian's head suddenly snaps up and he says, "I need to check a tracker." and the rest of the Bats follow him to the bat computer. When asked what he is doing, Damian admits, "a few years ago when I still hated Timothy, I put a tracker inside of his favorite camera, which he just so happened to bring with him on his trip. It may still be there and if he has his camera-" a few moments later, there is a ping on the screen showing the tracker is o the move, currently crossing the boarder from Kentucky into West Virginia. Tim has no idea what hell is coming for him, mostly because he figured that the Bats knew he did this every other month to unwind and relax. Traveling on a train for 4 to 6 days is his version of a vacation.
Glad for the add on. However, I think the angst reason for Tim "not having a heartbeat" would be because Kon died.
After Kon died, Tim created the machine to make sure no one else could hear his heartbeat (especially because Kon wasn't around for that anymore). When Kon came back, it was still a rough time for Tim. He was practically a feral and distrustful raccoon. Since he's still working on trusting people again, his heartbeat is still hidden (plus Kon hasn't brought it up, so Tim kind of forgot).
The stuff about the rogues is so true! That's why a few fanworks call Tim the "heart" of the batfam. I think all members play important roles and will similarly be missed. The heart comment is a cute nod to his role as a bridge and leash (he helped B obtain a larger support group and prevented him from killing people).
I like that this has Damian being the one to find out. Though Tim is grateful there's was a way for his family to find him while they were freaked out (he thought they knew about it), he's also exasperated at the tracker's existence. He probably pulls a prank on Damian for it.
Also, Tim 100% brings this incident back up with Bruce whenever the man complains about Tim's habit of overworking. He looks his father in the eyes and says, "The last time I took a vacation, you freaked out and mobilized the entire hero community to find me." They both know that's not what happened, but Tim is also not wrong.
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nibbelraz · 9 months ago
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SQH + An Ding Idea
-An Ding runs similar to a sort of college campus, everyone writes about An Ding basically doing everything for the whole peak.
(Architecture, Accounting, Business, Operations, Textiles, etc. etc.)
There's no way every disciple can learn all of the things An Ding does, and be able to perform them to a high quality.
So, perhaps SQH is the one who starts it because he realizes how kind of fucked the An Ding mechanics are. (Or system helped out, or possibly SQH god powers because that little guy is real busy and instituting all of these plans would take a whole long time)
But An Ding ends up running like some sort of campus, with a bunch of disciples specializing in different areas. Younger disciples take all of the essential classes, and then pick one or multiple areas of study/specialization. And they get real good at them, because specialization and not covering a million jobs at once means quality goes up. And I think SQH would just take in kids at the masses, just gathering up pretty much any kid with no place to go even if they have no real cultivation potential. Because running An Ding means they need a large number of disciples. He has a recruiting system or something, so there's a little girl in the street who fashioned her rags into a slightly cuter skirt. And an An Ding person is like 'hey, you like fashion? Textiles? You can do that for as long as you want if you join An Ding.' room, board, safety all for people who enjoy these sorts of trades to be able to specialize them and produce all the things the sects need. Street kids who are good with numbers or good with carpentry get taken into An Ding, no cultivation potential needed just kids who have passions but no way to enjoy them in their current situations.
This would also mean so much less outsourcing for the peak, much easier to work in house if it can be set up correctly.
Do the An Ding kids still get pushed around and shit on by other peaks, yeah for sure none of those peaks ever appreciate all the work An Ding does. But these kids are fine anyways because as soon as they get back on An Ding their solid, their doing what they enjoy and what they're good at. Who cares if some buff bai zhan kid teases them for being An Ding, they get to go to woodshop after this and the hall master is teaching embellishments and decor carving!
(one of the req. Classes would be a year long 'how to deal with Bai Zhan' training)
OH MAN OHHHH MAN I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH??? OHHHHH THIS IS GOOD YES YES A THOUSAND PERCENT
Qinghua running the peak that has each category to specialize in is great. They handle literally everything for course they need more man power and of COURSE THEY NEED PEOPLE TO LEARN SOME THINGS THAT ARE VERY SPECIFIC INSTEAD OF A THOUSAND THINGS AT ONCE ohhh OH I love the does that he takes in just anyone
I wonder if he takes in whoever doesn't make it from the other peaks. "Trust me you don't want to be at Bai Zhan peak. You actually get to do what you like here" also I feel like there has to be a group that does the heavy lifting from all the stuff they get so there IS a group that are ready to fight anyone who picks on the other An Ding kids
This means An Ding must have the most disciples of course its HUGE, imagine if he doesn't tell the other peak lords
He's just like "fuck it what are they going to do? Tell me I can't when efficiency has SKYROCKETED AFTER MY SYSTEM!"
Yes YES i would read a fic with this premise so FAST I absolutely love this idea
Wonder what the whole "campus" of kids think when Mobei Jun starts popping in randomly
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delululand · 1 year ago
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enhypen ideal type (hyung line)
don't take it too seriously, these are just my observations based on analysis of their words, interviews and behavior in general
p.s. i lived in Korea for a few months and it gave me some impressions too
heeseung
i know it’s not popular opinion, but i think he is not what many people imagine him to be
being so flirty and sexy on stage is one thing, but acting like that in real life is something else entirely. if you look at different shows and interviews, he is a much calmer and more shy guy. of course he can flirt and all that, but not as much as people here and on tik tok imagine him (in most of the works here he is presented as a literally 24/7 flirting lecherous guy)
I think he would like a coquettish , extroverted girl who at first glance seemed shy. he himself is often embarrassed by compliments, but in many videos you can see HOW he looks when girls are embarrassed by his compliments…
in one interview he said that he is not very emotionally strong and needs attention and care, I think he needs someone who is naturally very caring and affectionate, who can understand these needs without asking out loud and show him how loved he is, without allowing him to feel feeling lonely
jay
idk it’s just so obvious hahaha
if speak about appearance i really think he like smt like typical feminine energy? like nice clothes (not necessarily dresses or skirts, but something that still looks feminine), good perfume and more soft (?) face it’s little difficult to explain, but of idols, I’d say jennie. not really herself, but energy like hers.
he looks pretty dominant (not in sexual meaning, but about it maybe next time…🤭) and i think he will good with a woman who will allow him to do everything for her, even basic things. (I immediately remember the moment with the big keyboard and sunghoon on one of the shows, when jay constantly wanted to press the buttons with him, but sunghoon shouted that he would do it himself and jay retreated, but his hands still constantly reached out to do it for sunghoon) + how he cares about jongwong
the boy says he's not a romantic but we all know HOW much romantic he is
i think he is little more traditional in that. not in bad way, just like be man and wanna protect his woman from everything bad that can happen
someone with whom he can talk openly about anything, a person who is a good listener
also we see that he is good with cooking and household chores, so I think he liked a girl who can also do it well. like this is not something obligatory and he’s no way gonna make you do it, but the very idea that you are a good at such things would impress him cause he look like literally husband and you both can do cooking date and all this stuff
go to luxury restaurants, travel staying in 5 stars hotel, go to shopping date and putting your wardrobe together, be “it couple” and after next years become like wife and husband, have a kids, go to family travel, even maybe with his family and once get old together
idk he really gives vibes like this😭
jake
hmmhm I don’t even know how to say this more correctly, but it seems to me that I’m still a little immature for something relatively serious?
i think his personality will change a little as he gets older, he is a very reasonable guy, just not in the matter of relationships as it seems to me
he looks like a natural flirt and because of this it is harder to understand his real preferences but he definitely likes girls with dark hair like latino girls
now he gives the vibes of that guy college crash au hahaha. I think he would have liked a more fun, but smart girl with whom they could discuss everything, he would happily explain all sorts of mathematical things to you and would be happy to listen to your story about anything
he's also very caring and tactile and he would really be perfect for the role of that college guy. like your first serious relationship, full of tenderness and love
someone with an adventurous soul who would be willing to try new things and almost everything with him and go along with them
sunghoon
okay, maybe somebody will disagree but i’m pretty sure he is korean korean
i mean more traditional korean, idk how explain it right but if you have been in korea and communicate with men here you understand hahaha
it’s just a type of guy who really traditionally in most cases and relationships too
actually in many situations he generally doesn’t interact very actively with girls in public but it seems to me that typical Korean beauty is closer to him?
I think he would like a cute girl with a slightly mysterious aura, little shy maybe, who he can endlessly tease but who could start a conversation with him first because he doesn't seem to initiate communication and maybe it's not very easy to get close to him.
but when he is in a relationship he is a very loyal and reliable partner, ready to do anything for his girlfriend. he doesn't show it, but I think he's on the more romantic side, the type who gives flowers and chocolate while saying something like “oh, this? I don’t know, I just saw it on the way home and take it.”
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silawastaken · 6 months ago
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Thinking about Chuuya- specifically in reference to school aus.
Because Chuuya is SMART okay. He is one of very few people who can keep up with Dazai's chaos, from a combination of knowing him for so long and also from just being smart himself. In stormbringer, Chuuya is shown to at least accurately estimate the answer to rather complex physics equations that cannot be done in your head. He does it anyway. He has an advantage in this where he himself needs to be very concious of gravity and its affects and how it works, and he also has years of first hand experience with how it works he can apply practically to the situation to make estimates easier based on prior knowledge and experience. However, the biggest detriment to that in Chuuya has probably never seen the inside of a school in his life.
It's reasonable to assume that he receives some form of education in the PM as a teen, especially given the fact he needs to work with numbers for running the jewel market. He runs that market with the most success it's hard in years if I recall correctly, while likely not knowing his seven times table. (In chuuya's defense- I don't know my seven times table either and I have a HISTORY with physics that is actually largely sunshine and rainbows so.)
but he does physics that people who've been in school for YEARS fuck up. Mentally.
So he's far from stupid.
However- I am a firm believer in the Chuuya doesn't preform well in school. Regularly a B or C student. He doesn't fail, but he's not scoring the marks he could be.
Because things aren't explained the way he needs them to be. He questions why things work the way they do, explores other possibilities to a point where he confuses himself over the material because school only ever covers a surface level explaination of how and why things work, and expect students to just get it.
When Chuuya does understand something, he UNDERSTANDS it. It becomes common knowledge to him, he can remember it and apply it well in classes, any grades or scores on in class work about the material is scored high. But the second he's under test or exam conditions, he just blanks. It's not the stress or pressure, because he works well under both. It's the lack of practicality to it. It's question after question with no running line he can use to tie everything together and get it the way he needs too. On top of this, he doesn't understand the questions, with nuance and implications his brain isn't wired to pick up on, taking questions literally in a way that costs him marks repeatedly.
If he was in a college or university, he would do so much better, even under test and exam conditions, but while in high school I think that environment just would not work out for him.
As I can make anything about skk, the countermeasure to Chuuya not understanding the way certain things are explained is that Dazai explains them better in a way that's understandable and fills any of the gaps in his knowledge that trip Chuuya up because it should be 'common sense'.
In my head the ada and pm have a joint study group held in Fukuzawa's classroom after school onnnnn... hm. Tuesdays. Because by then the topics for the week have been established, and they each should have had at least one of each class. They all work on their school stuff until everything is covered and then they just watch a movie on the board in the class because it shuts them up (totally not because Fukuzawa has just a little bit of a soft spot for the rowdy group of teens all pressed up against each other sitting on the floor on a random tuesday in early decemeber because none of them really want to go home and it's too cold to go anywhere else. It's not like they're causing trouble or being annoying- they're watching Barbie princess and the popstar for the third time this term.) and they're not causing any harm.
Chuuya isn't the only one who struggles like this, just maybe the one who does so the most, but he would be an incredible physicist, and through support from a few of the nicer teachers and his friends, I'm sure he'd find a way to do well anyway.
I do know he'd get to college and have a realisation like 'huh? learning is actually kind of enjoyable' and that'd be it. He'd become a certified genius. A gilmore girls extra, if you will.
anyway autistic + dyslexic Chuuya who stuggles in school agenda is real.
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