#because hey. I think its important to see the worst of the person that you'll eventually fall in love with

[thebleedingeffect]

Thinking about Arno again and just how rarely he smiles or laughs once the plot of the game begins and it just makes me want to lay down and cry. He's still very much his sassy, attitude filled self, but there's a definite somberness that he carries with him at all times that seems to stop him from letting himself feel any sort of happiness or joy. In the game, besides the intro part, the only times he ever smiles is when he's with Elise, but afterward? After she dies? There's an even heavier veil of sorrow around him that's just so incredibly heartbreaking because he's so guilt and grief ridden :(((

It just makes me look at Arno like... I wanna help my guy... I wanna make him feel better .... can you please smile and laugh again please please please please-

[ckret2]

Pictured above: a shape's eye view of the end of the world.

The second dimension has burned; and Bill's been accidentally setting the second dimension's neighbors on fire. At the moment, the Axolotl is trying really, really hard to convince himself that these two facts are unrelated. Here, have a fic.

This is chapter 5 of an ongoing fic about the Axolotl in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre as Bill just keeps on committing atrocities. If you wanna read the earlier chapters (and/or look at more pretty art of Bill committing horrors and the Ax witnessing horrors), here's chapters one, two, three, and four.

####

As soon as the Axolotl and the Time Giant exited Dimension Zero, they were greeted with a faceful of rain. Apparently the storm cloud with the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force had been waiting for them. "The fires in the remaining dimensions around 2Δ are finally acting like normal fires," it said. "No teleporting around, no more targeting the mortals. We've got the worst ones under control. Think we'll save about 40% of Dimension 2 Zeta and 30% of Dimension 2 Epsilon. Whatever you two did in there, it helped."

"Yeah, well." The Time Giant shrugged, nearly dislodging the Axolotl from his perch draped over her shoulder. "It was one of those problems that fixes itself once you figure out what it is."

So the Time Giant had been right. The triangle's attempts to rescue "his" "people" and to stabilize his strange underworld in Dimension Zero had been what was destabilizing all the other dimensions. As much of a relief as it was to hear the situation was improving... part of the Axolotl had hoped that the fires were still as untamed as ever—because that would have meant the triangle wasn't guilty of perpetuating the blaze.

(If the triangle wasn't actively working to keep Dimension Zero stable, how much longer until it collapsed and erased all its imprisoned souls from existence? Would it be long enough to get them all out?)

The cloud asked, "So, did you find out what destroyed 2Δ?" Right. The Axolotl had almost forgotten that was what they'd originally been looking for.

The Time Giant shook her head grimly. "Didn't see any sign of it. But I've got a suspicion who did it."

The Axolotl said sharply, "All we have is circumstantial evidence." And he'd ripped into more than one god who'd tried to damn a mortal based on circumstantial evidence. 

The cloud's sunbeam darted between their faces. Slowly, it said, "I take it you mean our triangular friend. I don't have any proof yet about the original fire; but he's been spreading the fire, I know that much."

"How did you know?" the Axolotl asked. He and the Time Giant had only just learned it themselves inside Dimension Zero.

"We've been interviewing some refugees while you were out. I—think you'll want to speak to them." The cloud directed this statement to the Axolotl.

The Time Giant said, "Later. The triangle says he's willing to move his people to another dimension." She gestured toward VENDOR, flanked by the two cops THEY'd apparently adopted as THEIR personal escorts. THEY were ranting into a phone that the crab-looking cop was holding up for them. "So we've gotta go discuss refugee stuff with Vendy McVendface."

"VENDOR," the cloud corrected.

"Vend 'er? I hardly even know 'er!"

The gods turned to stare at the border of Dimension Zero as the triangle laughed at his own joke until he wheezed. "I had to. It was sitting right there! It woulda been a crime not to pick it up!" His cackles slowly petered out. "What, no laughs? Maybe the joke doesn't translate."

The Time Giant shrugged. "I kinda thought it was funny."

"Ah, whatever."

"Have you been listening the whole time?" the Axolotl asked, not sure whether to be amused or mortified.

"Don't worry about it, I've got something more important to say." He zipped up along the surface of Dimension Zero's border until he was eye level with the Time Giant. "Hey, Hourglass. I didn't say I'm ready to move my people. I said I'm ready to talk about moving. Your guy better sell me on it. If your offer isn't worth it, we're not leaving."

"Are you serious?" She screwed up her face. "Ain't not being erased from existence worth it?"

"I have very high standards. And there are fates worse than death."

"Name one."

The triangle only thought about it a second before he answered, "Captivity."

####

It wasn't until the Axolotl and the Time Giant left the border of Dimension Zero that the Axolotl realized, the moment the triangle had shown up, the storm cloud had disappeared. It was now drizzling surreptitiously near VENDOR, waiting for them to catch up.

As they approached VENDOR, the Time Giant said, "You should give VENDOR the news."

The Axolotl gave her an affronted look. "Why me?" This wasn't his responsibility. He hadn't been hired to do a job here. He shouldn't even be here; he was essentially an over-involved lookie-loo.

"You'd be better at talking to 'em. You move in the same circles."

"I'm not a politician, I'm a lawyer."

"I'm an engineer." She took the Axolotl off her shoulder and nudged his butt to set him gently floating in VENDOR's direction.

The Axolotl twisted around to give her a resentful look, but swam toward the vending machine.

THEY ignored the Axolotl until THEY finished THEIR current call, at which point THEY snapped, "What?" and he explained the situation. Blessedly, THEY didn't ask any further questions or give him any instructions; THEY just grumbled, "Finally," and told the crab cop, "Call the Vitruvian Mandala—we'll need to find places for another ten million 2D refugees."

"And 1D," the Axolotl said.

"Yes, yes." THEY muttered under THEIR fan, "And hopefully we'll get that triangle to the afterlife he deserves and be done with him."

The Axolotl doubted THEY meant a serene eternal paradise. Pointedly, he said, "Which afterlife he goes to is his choice."

Afterlife law was his speciality. Not cases like "based on this mortal's good and bad deeds, which form has she earned for her next reincarnation?" or "has this soul earned entry into his religion's realm of the wicked, the good, or the heroic?" Those were decided on the local level.

Rather, he tended to handle inter-pantheon, sometimes even interdimensional, cases—like, "if a mortal born on one planet lives and dies on another planet, which world's afterlife has claim to his soul?" "Is a soul's right to return to her native afterlife forfeit if she's apprehended in another god's jurisdiction for crimes against reality?" "Can a death god in a dimension where wandering ghosts are banned incarcerate a ghost from a dimension where wandering is legal?" "How does a soul's right to claim an afterlife weigh against an afterlife's right to claim a soul?" "Who has the right to judge a deceased mortal in the first place?"

The Axolotl personally thought that mortals deserved to be treated as mercifully as possible—starting with respecting the dead's own choice of afterlife above all others, and ending with outlawing damnation at the interdimensional level.

The rest of the multiverse... didn't agree with him yet. He didn't intend to stop until they did.

He went on, "Case law has long established that unless the dead made other arrangements premortem, they will be taken to—in order—the afterlife of their birth, their death, or their choice. The afterlife under whose jurisdiction the triangle lived and died has been destroyed, so he can go to any afterlife that says they're willing to take him, whether or not you think it's what he deserves—"

VENDOR's camera rolled and THEY impatiently beeped acknowledgment. "Do you mind, I'm on the phone." THEY turned THEIR back on the Axolotl to focus on THEIR next call. Yeah, most gods didn't like being told they couldn't just smite and damn whoever they felt like.

The storm cloud called the Axolotl's attention with a fork of lightning. It said, "I'll need to help coordinate the rescue efforts with VENDOR. I can get the report on what you learned in there from the engineering inspector; but you need to go talk to some of the witnesses of the fire. Maybe you should ask the Vitruvian Mandala when He's free."

That was the second time it had told him to talk to the refugees. "Why?"

"You said that yellow triangle's your friend, right?"

"I... did, yes."

The cloud didn't explain any further. It only said, "Be careful around him."

####

VENDOR bustled around making preparations to receive ten million new refugees with absolutely no input from anyone else on the scene; the cloud's time was split between coordinating with the ATTF and getting a full debrief from the Time Giant on the conditions inside Dimension Zero; and left alone, the Axolotl found himself staring into the roiling barrier around the bloated singularity.

He swore, no matter where he looked, in the center of his view he could see a tiny, yellow, triangular pinprick of light, like an afterimage burned into his retina. No matter how deeply he looked into Dimension Zero, somehow his eyes always seemed focused on the triangle, making it appear nearer and then farther, like an optical illusion.

Be careful around him. He wished his Oracle were here to ask him questions. Helping her mortal mind make sense of this whole affair might help him make sense of it himself.

He'd seen the horror in the triangle's eye when he realized that he was the one incinerating the dimensions that had once bordered his own. He'd heard the sincerity in the triangle's voice when he said he could feel the deaths of every life that fell into his dream realm—the deaths that he himself was causing. He'd felt the guilt pouring from the triangle when he realized his efforts to save "his people" from being killed were what was killing them. Whatever else the Axolotl knew, he was sure the triangle hadn't meant to cause anyone harm. He hadn't started the fires on purpose. He just... didn't know what he was doing.

And "his people"—what did that mean?

Maybe some of the people in the triangle's dance party were from his dimension. The Axolotl couldn't totally confirm that they weren't; if the triangle had somehow survived, then why not others?

But it was undeniable that the triangle had been "rescuing"/kidnapping people from other dimensions, and he talked about the people he'd rescued no differently from the people from his own dimension.

Why? Had members of his species spread to neighboring dimensions? Or had his species come from another? Had his people established diplomatic relationships with cultures in neighboring universes, enough for them to consider themselves one people?

"Certainly not," said the Vitruvian Mandala.

He was a god from one of the worlds in Dimension 2 Gamma that the ATTF had managed to evacuate before the dimension was fully incinerated. Now, He was just another refugee, huddled with His confused, terrified people on one of the temporary worlds provided by VENDOR, curved uncomfortably atop the spherical planet. He had to be reeling from the loss of His home just as much as His people were—if not more, since He had known and seen and done and loved much more that any single mortal could. But nevertheless, He'd immediately stepped up to assist with organizing the rescue services, acting as a liaison between VENDOR and the 2D mortals to find new homes for them. 

And some of His people had been among the ones dragged into Dimension Zero—which was no doubt why the cloud had suggested the Axolotl speak to Him.

The Vitruvian Mandala may have been a minor creation god (He'd only created a galaxy) but He was more than powerful enough to know whether any of His people had ever made interdimensional contact. The Axolotl had waited until He had a moment to spare from assisting VENDOR, and then asked Him about their relationship with Dimension 2 Delta.

"I seeded life on all the populated worlds in My galaxy. None of My worlds have ever so much as been colonized by another galaxy in Our own dimension, much less people from another dimension," He said. "And We're a young galaxy—the most advanced starfarers have hardly ventured beyond their own solar systems; none have left Our dimension."

"And they've never spoken to other dimensions...?"

"No. The first contact We ever had with 'Dimension 2 Delta'—or what was left of it—was when the Magister Mentium began dragging My people into his underworld. The leaders I've had a chance to speak to from Dimension 2 Epsilon and Dimension 2 Zeta have told Me the same. " He called the triangle 'Magister Mentium' without any of the halting awkwardness the Axolotl did, or even the self-consciousness the triangle himself did. The Vitruvian Mandala had never known the triangle as anything but the Magister Mentium—and in His voice, it sounded not like an oversized title for a tiny triangle, but like the name of a fellow god.

But—the Axolotl had only asked the Vitruvian Mandala about Dimension 2 Delta. He hadn't brought up the Magister Mentium, nor mentioned that he was asking about the kidnapped people. "How did you know about the Magister Mentium?"

The Vitruvian Mandala said simply, "Because he introduced himself to My people before he started stealing them."

At the Axolotl's shocked silence, He said, "Do you want to see what they saw?"

####

When the agents with the ATTF had started interviewing survivors about the cosmic fire, naturally, they'd first approached the other gods for information. And then the gods had approached the mortals under their charge to get their testimonies and pass them on to the apoc agents.

The Vitruvian Mandala had telepathically extracted His people's memories and copied them into tiny glassy discs with brass rims. He sifted through dozens of discs before offering the memory of a narrow rhombus from one of His most technologically advance worlds; and the Axolotl stared through the disk to experience the mortal's memory.

The memory started with a sight that had become all too familiar to the Axolotl: a distant line of burning blue fire. It took a moment for the Axolotl to orient himself to the mortal's razor-thin two-dimensional view of her world; but once he did, he realized that, from her perspective, it wasn't a line of light. To her, it was the entire sky. The constellations of faraway flat stars had vanished, and their place was taken by an inferno.

The whole world reeked of a stench that the rhombus didn't recognize, but that the Axolotl did: burning hydrogen. In most dimensions, three-fourths of all the matter in the entire universe—including the very stars themselves—consisted of hydrogen molecules. Hydrogen burned a pale blue. The stench in the air, the pale blue light filling the sky, was the smell and sight of the raw materials of reality itself burning away.

The nearby buildings had emptied into the city streets as people abandoned their work to coming outside and stare at the burning sky. Somewhere—it seemed very far away—people were screaming, sirens were wailing, government proclamations were issuing out of radios and loudspeakers; but on these streets, on the border of the city where the sky was most visible, everyone was horribly silent. 

An eerie feeling of unreality hung over the world. It felt like a scene out of a dream. The rhombus's heart filled with dread. She didn't understand why or how the sky was burning, but she felt in her bones that it must mean the end of the world.

She never imagined that it was the end of the entire universe.

And then, more real than reality itself, bright enough to blind, a radioactive-yellow shape appeared in the middle of the crowd. Over the gasps of shock, a voice that echoed between the buildings proclaimed, "Gooood evening! Lines, bis, and tris; quads, quints, and more—my beloved believers and my new friends—I'm sure you all recognize my voice from the news, but it's a pleasure to finally meet you all in the flesh!"

She wasn't sure he had any flesh to meet. He was ghostlike, as insubstantial as smoke—and just as formless as smoke, too: his shape constantly shimmered and shifted and distorted, his skin appearing and disappearing as his internal organs were exposed; one moment a leg visible, the next a hand, then no limbs at all, just his blindingly bright body. His organs were all wrong. When she could stand to squint at the specter's light, in the split seconds that his ghostly form was properly visible, she thought he looked like a triangle.

(She'd never seen the third dimension, never even attempted to imagine what a 3D shape might look like. She didn't realize his appearance shifted because he was a 2D shape tilting in 3D directions trying to lay flat on the 2D plane of Dimension 2 Gamma, and not quite succeeding. )

"Allow me to introduce myself properly: I'm the Magister Mentium, seer of the third dimension! Your gateway to the stars and stardom, your guide to prophets and profits, your mastermind and master of minds; and, if you're lucky, your new eternal party host! I'm sure the honor's all yours—but please, resist the urge to swoon! I have a limited time offer that you cannot afford to miss."

For all his self-aggrandizing, the triangle was still completely unfamiliar. She didn't see recognition in the eyes of any of the shapes around them, either. She doubted he'd ever actually been on the news at all, unless it was in one of those dubious programs about ghost hunting or UFOs. 

But the triangle charged on regardless: "I'm here to bring you salvation from— Whoops! We've got a crying baby over here. Sorry junior, I'm on stage right now." She hadn't even noticed the crying until the triangle pointed it out; the whole world seemed dull and muffled and gray except for the triangle. One of his arms stretched in the child's direction and disappeared; there was a split-second flash of black fingers where the baby used to be; and then both hand and baby vanished, the baby's cries morphing into a shriek of terror that slowly faded into the unseeable distance.

"My baby!" a rectangle wailed. She rushed up to the alien triangle. "What did you do to my baby, you—" She tried to seize his arm, and let out a howl of pain as her hands burst into flame.

"Calm down, Mama, your little brat's okay!" He reached out and flicked the rectangle back. His finger hit her with the force of a catapult. She tumbled away from him through dimensions unknown, skins and bone and organs turning inside-out over each other; and slammed into a nearby building, fusing with the wall. All that was visible of her was a thin cross section of meat. The rhombus couldn't imagine where the rest of her had gone—but she could smell the burning flesh.

"Too bad I can't say the same of you." The triangle turned to stare them all down, gaze darting restlessly from face to face. His pupil was bizarrely long, animal-like; and his gaze burned. She was sure that, if his gaze had lingered on her a moment longer, she would have caught fire, too. "We're burning time, people! Would anyone else like to be excused? Last call!"

There were a few whispers, but no one moved. The crowd was petrified with fear.

"Terrrrific! Then you'd better listen close, because I only have time to say this once," the triangle said. "Here's the deal! There's only two kinds of people: the ones who hate captivity, and the ones who love it. Oh yeah, there are people who love it! Some of 'em like inflicting it, some of 'em are too stupid to think for themselves, and some of 'em just want to do terrible things and pretend they had no choice!

"But I'm here to help the rest of you—you know who you are! You're the ones who never quite tessellated with the other kids! The ones who are sick and tired of your family saying you had so much potential and asking where it's all gone! You can feel the barbs of social obligation hooking into your flesh—yeah, you there, you know what I'm talking about, I see you!—and you'd rip your own skin off if you thought it would set you free! It won't, by the way—take it from a guy who knows! Luckily for you, my way's more effective and less painful! Probably!"

In spite of their fear, more than a few shapes had started pushing closer to the triangle. He was speaking to them.

"So if you crave freedom—from work, laws, morality, physics... death..."

More than a few shapes glanced fearfully toward the sky.

"...if you want to see the stars with me—then raise your hand! Reach out to me! Watch your enemies burn and escape to a realm of dreams with no rules and no responsibilities! That's right, this way!"

As soon as he said raise your hand, it seemed like half the crowd stretched their hands out to him —and the longer he spoke, the more reached out.

She recognized some of the people reaching out—some of them were her neighbors and friends. Here was a beaten-down pentagon who'd spent his whole life being controlled, and just wanted freedom from the ruthless monsters who used and abused him. There was a controlling circle who'd spent her whole life using and abusing others, and wanted freedom to be an even more ruthless monster. They all reached toward the triangle just the same—as if they'd been waiting their whole lives for an opportunity to escape. The desperate, the downtrodden, the dastardly, the barely daring to hope. If the whole burning world felt like a bizarre dream, then this must have felt like a dream come true to them.

But to the rhombus, it felt like a nightmare. She had to fight through the crowd to back away from him. 

"No need to push! If you can't see me, just hold your hand toward my voice, I can see you!"

The smell of burning existence was growing stronger.

Was this a test? An approaching apocalypse and a shapeshifting god of light and fire offering a last-minute rapture. The sky was burning—what hope did they have if they didn't go with him? More of the crowd was reaching for him now—terrified of him, but more terrified of their fate if they didn't. The rhombus reluctantly stretched out a hand.

"Thaaat's right, this way! I've got all of you!" His voice was taking on an edge of impatience. "Just—come on already! Hurry up!"

She was at just the right angle to catch a split second glimpse of the triangle through the crowd. She saw as the person closest to him reached out and grasped his hand. She saw as the first of the triangle's new followers burst into flames. The unlucky soul crumbled to ash before they had a chance to scream.

"I said no pushing."

The rhombus jerked her hand back and hoped the triangle hadn't seen her through the crowd. He wasn't offering salvation.

Most of the crowd wasn't lucky enough to get a view of the unfortunate shapes at the front who were already learning what a deal with the triangle entailed. The rhombus could hear people, as though from a vast distance, calling out to the triangle: "Take me, take me!" "I'll do anything!" It seemed like the whole world was trying to get closer to him; she thought she was the only one trying to move away, until she made it as far back as she could, where the crowd was thinning out, and caught a few other shapes in her peripheral vision who'd moved the same way. More than half the crowd was rushing in toward the triangle.

But apparently, it wasn't enough to satisfy him. "Come on, people!" That enthusiastic voice, halfway between a salesman and a camp counselor, was gone now. His voice went shrill with anxiety. "What's it gonna take?! I'm offering you idiots paradise, why won't you listen? Why don't you ever LISTEN TO ME?!"

For a moment, even though the triangle was completely hidden by the crowd, the rhombus could feel his fiery gaze sweep over her. She felt the way her skin threatened to burst into flames, and she knew he saw her.

She backed away until her rear angle bumped into the nearest building.

"Fine! You've had your chance! I've found my people!" The triangle's voice dropped to an angry snarl. "For all I care, the rest of you can burn."

For every hand that stretched out to the triangle, a black hand reached back toward them—dozens and dozens of hands. "Let's blow up this popsicle stand!"

He seized his new believers' hands.

Most of them instantly burst into flames.

Most of the rest were either jerked away into some unseeable direction like the baby had been, or else the burning ghost hand they were shaking yanked something out of them, leaving behind a dry corpse.

Reality warped and distorted in ways her eye couldn't make sense of: buildings wobbling and spilling apart like they were made of liquid; people twisting together with the buildings in sickening multi-corpsed abominations.

"Whoopsie!" The triangle let out a shrill, tittering laugh. It sounded pained. "S-still gotta get the hang of that. Oh well!" He spoke louder and faster. "I saved as many of you as I could, doing the best I can here, the rest of you don't matter, anyway byyye!"

And then he was gone.

And then they were all awake. She hadn't known they were asleep. Whatever happened hadn't been a mere shared nightmare; it was as though the layer of existence that dreams happened on had been pressed into the layer of existence where reality happened, and she hadn't even noticed until the pressure applied by the triangle lifted and the layers popped apart again.

The layers had popped apart too hard. Several of the shapes nearest the triangle that he hadn't taken with him instantly died—the tether between their souls on the plane of dreams and their bodies on the plane of reality snapped like overstretched rubber bands.

The fused corpse abominations had been left behind, still tangled and mangled with the architecture. The buildings were charred. The survivors were covered in burns they hadn't noticed—everywhere the triangle had looked was burned. Anything the triangle looked through was burned.

She was covered in burns. She could feel the burning inside her body. She raised her hands to her face and felt it peeling off.

She couldn't even feel the bright blue fires roaring down from the heavens.

And then something else lifted her out of the world, just before the reality around them began to burn.

She didn't know where all the people the triangle had taken had gone. But as she blacked out, of one thing she was sure: this higher dimension he'd claimed to see, this realm of stars and dreams? They weren't there.

Wherever they were, they'd gone down.

####

When the Axolotl emerged from the recorded memory, he was dizzy with horror. He had to lay down on the prefab planet next to the Vitruvian Mandala while he reeled.

"Are you all right?" the Vitruvian Mandala asked.

Broken, the Axolotl said, "he threw a baby."

"I know."

"Is the baby alright?"

Delicately, He said, "It's beyond the dimensions I'm able to sense."

The Axolotl curled his gills. Not the baby. "What about the rhombus?"

"Her body was too burned; she died shortly after this memory," the Vitruvian Mandala said. "But fortunately, only a small part of her ghost suffered third degree burns. With an ectoplasm graft she's expected to recovery enough to have a fairly normal afterlife. Inasmuch as any afterlife can be considered 'normal' for My people now."

The Axolotl had noted how many ghosts were mingling with the living mortals when he arrived on this planet. He hadn't wanted to say anything; he didn't know whether that was normal for their people. "I can give you the contact rituals of some interdimensional psychopomps I respect. Very professional and compassionate gods." Although they'd be cursing the Axolotl's name for millennia for throwing so much work on their desks.

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

The Axolotl returned the memory disc to the Vitruvian Mandala; He momentarily stared into it Himself before returning it to His collection. "He gave speeches like this all across My populated worlds. I've retrieved thousands of memories like this from My people." His voice shook; the Axolotl couldn't tell if it was with anger or grief. "There would have been more—if more had survived."

"I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else he could do for the poor god but be sorry. All the senseless, slapdash slaughter. All of it so casual and accidental.

"Why?" the Vitruvian Mandala demanded. "He didn't speak like he meant My people harm, but he couldn't have done them more harm if he'd tried! I've never heard of him before—what is he, some malevolent trickster god? Why did he do it"

"Because... he thought he was saving them." That was the only thing the Axolotl could cling to.

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 5 of a 7-or-8-or-9 part fic that keeps getting more parts, about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl run out of ways to pretend Bill didn't destroy his own dimension.

It's ALSO chapter 61 Part Five of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: Bill got SO CLOSE to looking like a misguided good guy last chapter, and that's why he had to throw a baby.

No actually it was because it seemed really really funny. Flipped that flat little thing like a pancake.

Due to real-world reasons, this is another chapter that isn't as edited & polished as usual, so let me know if you noticed any rough spots that need buffing. And let me know what you think! Bill with his cult leader persona cranked up to 100% is probably the hardest Bill to write.)

[a-friend-of-mara]

Forewarning I kinda went off

If you're fine but not fine but you'll say you're good even tho you're not bc you can't be fucked/don't have the energy to get into it maybe just scroll by

Can't wait to get the "Hey Mara, you good?" Messge from the one person on here who gives a shit about my mental health

Hot take

If we saw 4 ads in a day instead of 400 then we might actually care about some of them

When I say ad, I mean billboards, signs, on your news websites, YouTube, Facebook (fuck Facebook), hell even on here

I just don't care anymore

I've had so many ads shoved in my face now *any* ad makes me angry

Even the ads for the animal shelter with the sad music and the black and white slomo footage of dogs in cages with a voice over about dying dogs

I just get frustrated!

I can't care about everything!

I don't care that you market your toothbrush as revolutionary!

I don't care about the latest car's gas mileage!

I don't care what movies are coming out!

I don't care!

It's so many all the time! IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT

SHUT UP!

I fucking hate ads now

I'm fuckin 18

When I was 12 they were "mild annoyance"

Fuck of with your political campaigns

Fuck off with your shovelware bullshit

Fuck off with your ads that might as well he softcore pornogropgy

Why is this acceptable?!

"Mara there's bigger issues in the world"

I goddam know that

Just because an adult has a prosthetic leg doesn't magicaly make their kid falling off their bike hurt any less!

Fuck I'm so tired all this bullshit

The earth is on fire!

People are dying in pointless wars to maintain their rights to exist!

There are countries where being who you are means being 6 feet under in an unmarked grave

There are "loved ones" who would put those they "loved" in those graves

Your children, my brothers, sisters, and siblings. We have to practice in school what to do if there's someone with a gun at the school.

This is "normal"

We practice what to do if someone wants to kill us

Our leadership made owning your own body impossible for a good chunk of its citizens

We are spied on by companies, corporate entities, data brokers, and by governments

We don't matter individually to them

News companies will broadcast and air tragic news about the passing of parents and siblings, someone who was someone else's everything dead from an act of pure selfish violence, an act of unrivaled negligence, a disease they had no hope to conquer

They broadcast these stories, not so the common viewer may hear, but for people to tune in, so more people see the ads they show

So the company makes money

I am fully capable of intelligent thought, discussion, and analytical thinking

I choose not to

If I do I spiral

Because the world is fucked

Our world fucked and we can do nothing!

MY WORLD IS FUCKED AND I CAN DO NOTHING BUT WAIT AND WATCH AS IT BURNS

THE WORST PART IS THAT I HAVE HOPE!

Some wish some part of me still alive from when I believed everything was right and just and simple

That hope that something might change

Put out the fires

Worst of all

I don't know if the hope is false

[nekomarubiomic]

I'll come see you here, it will be easier. Apologies in advance for the errors and the slowness of the responses because English is not my mother tongue. But I do my best, fortunately dictionaries and translators exist otherwise I would be lost.

I understand you on Star Wars because since Disney, it's horrible. It destroyed me because it was such an important world to me. Even what he created, Disney is not even capable of understanding it. It's just been horrible for so many years.

For Burton, it's the same. I like his work but indeed for a long time it has been aimless and sparkling. And I won't talk about Wesnesday. This could have been a masterclass but no, just a trick and the worst thing is that it doesn't work. It's even called as a cult series now.

I don't know what to think of this system.The world of American cinema has been lost for almost 20 years now. This is so sad.

Hey, it's alright, I do think your English is pretty good, and regardless of whether or not you're from France or a French-speaking nation, I'm confident you'll keep up with me, no problem there.

Incidentally, I stumbled upon a bit of plot summary for Beetlejuice 2, in case you're wondering, so here it goes:

"After an unexpected family tragedy, three generations of the Deetz family return to the small Vermont town of Winter River. Paranormal empath, Lydia Deetz, begins to see the lecherous demon Beetlejuice, who haunted her as a teenager. His plans to finally marry Lydia are given extra urgency when his dead wife comes to life and begins to stalk the Afterlife hunting for him. Meanwhile, Lydia’s teenage daughter embarks on a romance with a local teen."

Personally, I'm not sure what to expect of it, just mildly curious st best. Again, my expectations are so low at this point, I'm afraid of seeing all the usual Hollywood cliché in the mix, but time will tell if it ends up being crap or not. I know they're working off a story idea by the Dark Shadows writer, hence why my expectations are relatively low at this point.

Yeah, Wednesday is not a real cult TV show in my eyes as well. I think it's an overhyped Harry Potter clone, with some decent acting and atmosphere, but writing-wise, it's a whole different story, let's out it this way. Speaking of which, what were some of the things that made you cringe about the show? Is it the Gen-Z style humour at places randomly, or just story and execution?

If by American cinema you refer to Hollywood and not just independent work, then yeah, it lost me for over 15 years now, by this point in time. Most of it comes from the corporate-instituted ESG and DEI mantra that's harming the industry to the core, and if election season turns sour for certain people, there will a crap tone of stuff that will be forced down towards audiences, and I highly doubt they'll recover from those blunders. Good for them, as they deserved it, it's all their own fault.

I hope you're talking about the Walt Disney Company there, not the man himself, namely Walt Disney. The Disney corporation, under Bob Iger's leadership, the entire company and its subsidiaries have been run into the ground. That's mostly the result of ESG bring implemented there, and in other Hollywood studios as well. It's only going to get potentially worst after this year's elections in the United States, but I don't care and won't bother with most of that crap either way.

So anyway, would you tell me how did you find Beetlejuice, and what made you become a fan of the Beetlejuice/Lydia pairing in the first place? Was it their cartoon and then the movie, how did this happen?

[carateum]

can I have prompt number 24 and 37 with jeongwoo?? thank you <3

New Year Kiss

Jeongwoo × reader

Prompt : 24 Is it ok to fall in love and 37 New year kiss?

Type : bestfriend to lover, fluff

Warnings : grammatical error

Notes : I really enjoyed writing this, hope yo like it too!

Word count 456

More under the cut

"Hey... Jeongwoo ? Park Jeongwoo!" You waved your hand in front of his face ,he was day dreaming again... Habitually your bestfriend was always the loudest and funniest but recently he was more quiet and always thinking and to be honest you were worried ,what's wrong with him. And now ,you were hanging out with him for the new year at your place and he was still focused on his thoughts and not you ,even when you talked to him.

"Yeah I listen to you ,sorry" He quickly answered ,his eyes finding yours "Tell me Jeongwoo ,what's on your mind ? What's taking place the little brain of yours?" You asked ,teasing him a bit because it was your favorite activity ; teasing Jeongwoo.

"Someone" he honestly replied " Is it ok to fall in love ?" He continued , confidently looking at you as you felt your heart break ...He was in love ; yeah that was expected ,Jeongwoo was handsome and pretty popular and a lot of person tried to flirt with him so you expected that Jeongwoo will probably fall for one of them.

And it was the worst thing for you because you loved him...More than just friends but he'll never notice you ,he only see you as friends right ? You loved everything about him ,his cute teeth when he smile , the way he like to cuddle when watching movie and he always fell asleep, the habit of his of rolling his (or your) hair around his finger or the way he looked at you... you liked and appreciated all of that ; you liked his everything.

"Oh... you like someone" you sadly mumbled as you slowly sat next to him on the couch. "Yeah and they're really special and important for me... I really want to confess to them but I don't know how to confess" he told you ,still looking at you with his smile that you loved. "Be honest with them ; tell them "I love you" " You advised , your hand made its way to his shoulder, patting it softly , he couldn't know you loved him and how much this situation affected you.

"Okay then ...I love you" he confidently spoke "Yeah ,like that ,I think they'll be happy when you'll confess to them " you sadly smiled as you heard Jeongwoo giggling "No ...I mean I love you Y/n , I'm confessing to you" he laughed ,his hand finding yours to holding it tightly "Wait what ? Me ?" You stuttered, shocked by his words "Yeah, you, and since we're here to celebrate the New Year , you win a New Year Kiss!" He happily exclaimed. "A New Year Kiss ?" You were definitely confused... that was before Jeongwoo pecked your lips softly.

"Thats a New year kiss,you liked it?" Jeongwoo softly whispered.

[hey-there-juliet]

Random Drabble Day (2/23)

Summary: First off, let me just say that this is more like a one-shot than a drabble because I'm a wordy bitch and I cannot control myself 😅

That said, I always had a hard time imagining Julie writing some of the Perfect Harmony's lyrics about herself, so I thought why not make this just another song that Luke and Julie wrote together? This is set somewhere between Finally Free and Edge of Great, in that week when Ray was stress-eating. This is supposed to fit back into the show at the end, so it might seem like a cliffhanger, but it's not.

Quick shout out to @jamestkirkish for betaing this for me! I love you and you are amazing! Any remaining mistakes are my own. And to the fabulous Sloan, for helping me out with Luke's handwriting! Enjoy 🧡

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Relationship: Juke 💜

in the great scheme of life and ghosts

No matter how many times Luke insisted that she had been snooping through his things, Julie knew for a fact that she had done no such thing. In reality, she had simply been cleaning the studio when she came across it.

For three ghosts who didn't eat and could barely even touch anything most of the time, the boys sure knew how to make a mess. Every morning Julie would walk into the studio to find the chairs or coffee table rearranged, at least one of the rugs was always askew, and the clothes... the clothes were everywhere, and the worst part was: they reeked. 

And so every morning before leaving for school Julie would shoot them a stern look and tell them to pick up after themselves. Which they did - when she got back home, things were mostly in their rightful place. Still, every weekend Julie would make sure to take a moment away from homework and rehearsal to tidy the place up to perfection, just like her mom liked it. She'd dust off the furniture, water the plants, sweep the floor, and even vacuum the whole place. One Saturday when she was home alone (her dad photographing a wedding, and Carlos at a friend's house), she even went through the trouble of washing all of the guys' old clothes. 

Somehow, and she didn't even want to think about how that worked, the clothes didn't stink when they were actually wearing them, but at any other moment when they made no contact with their skin? Yeah... not good. So she washed them all (three times, using every trick and product she had). She washed them a fourth time for good measure and, by the time she was finished, any traces of twenty-five year old mold was gone, and so was the smell.

So no, she was not snooping - no matter what Luke said - when she came across the crumpled paper ball between the couch and the low cabinet, just behind a big vase her mom had gotten from tía Victoria.

Julie sighed, making a mental note to tell Luke to put his discarded ideas in the bin (again) if he didn't want them anymore, when one scribbled and wrinkled word caught her attention: Perfect Ha-

She bit her lip, staring down at the teasing word. Perfect what? Was it lyrics? Maybe half formed ideas? Doodles? Julie knew Luke liked to doodle in the margins of his notebook whenever he got stuck trying to come up with the next best piece of lyric or melody. She also knew she should probably just leave it alone, put it with his stuff to ask him later if he wanted to keep it, or put it in the garbage. Except the more she glanced down at that damn word, the stronger she felt it pull her towards uncovering whatever else the crumpled paper ball was hiding. 

In the end, the pull was too strong. She'd just take a quick look, make sure it wasn't anything important before she threw it away. And, she reasoned with herself, trying to squish the guilt that was making itself known in the pit of her stomach: Luke had gotten rid of it, so he clearly didn't care much for whatever was in there. 

Not able to resist any longer, Julie carefully unfolded the paper, slowly making her way towards the piano and using its surface as a table to help smooth the page over.

Luke's (horrendous) handwriting covered it with the bare bones of a song, random lines were scribbled in the margins with a couple of doodles for company, and even a little note from their bassist - ‘Reggie was here ;)’.

It took her a minute before the chicken scratches became words, and then Julie's breath left her in a rush, as the guilty feeling in her stomach turned into butterflies and flew away with her imagination. 

It was a song, parts of one, anyway, and - more importantly - it was a love song.

Unprompted, her own words came back to her, "Wow, Luke! I didn't know you were such a romantic." Quickly followed by Alex's short reply, "He's not."

She knew now who Unsaid Emily was really about, but these new words were clearly about a different kind of love. The romantic kind, and Julie couldn't help letting herself believe - just for a moment - that the song might be about her.

Before she could let herself be carried away in a daydream, there was a - now familiar - shift in the air, a sound almost like static, the only thing letting her know of a ghost's appearance. Without a thought, she crumpled the page again and shoved the paper ball in her pocket for later inspection. 

"Hey, Julie!" Reggie's cheerful greeting sounded across the studio from where he had poofed in, and soon - with his "help," bless him - Julie was finished with her weekend clean up. 

As if summoned by the end of her chores, Luke poofed in, ready to rehearse. Alex soon followed; and by the time Julie retired for the night, the song had been almost forgotten where it hid inside her pocket. 

Almost.

***

After getting ready for the night, Julie settled on her bed with the wrinkled page and her dreambox. She read over the words again and again, imagining they were about her.

Step into my world, 

Bittersweet love story about a girl 

Shook me to the core 

Voice like an angel, 

I've never heard before, 

- 

You and me together, it's more than chemistry 

- 

Love me as I am 

I hold your music 

Here inside my hands 

- 

You are my brightest burning star 

- 

We create Perfect Harmony.

And unless Luke had been singing with another girl, there didn't seem to be many options on who it could be about, right?

From the beginning, Julie had felt something connecting her to him; to all of them, in different ways. But Luke had been the one to give her a little piece of his soul right after meeting her when he let her use Bright to earn back her spot in the music program. Seeing his passion reflecting back on her, the way he treated music like she used to, made her miss it more than anything for the first time in almost a year. It made her miss the way it felt to use music to connect with her mom.

After they spent a whole weekend finishing each other's songs and working on new ones, getting to know each other's inner workings - the part of them that bled out feelings into paper to create beautiful melodies, Julie knew she was a goner. Finding out he'd been the one to write the words that shaped her taste in rock certainly didn't help. Like he'd been helping her find her way to music long before they even met.

Her crush on him had been inevitable from the start, and while falling for him was probably one of the worst things she could’ve done, it was too late to stop it. She'd been free falling for a while, and hopefully she'd land in his arms soon enough. Reading over his words again gave Julie a warm fluttering in her stomach that made her think he was more than ready to catch her once she reached the ground. 

Carefully folding the piece of paper, she put it inside her dreambox, then placed the box back on the shelf.

***

The following week went by without any hiccups. Every once in a while, Julie would remember Luke's song and a familiar warmth would fill her up, leaving a soft smile on her lips and glazed eyes staring off at nothing. Just as often, Flynn would have to shake her out of her daydreams.

She didn't think much would come of it until her dad decided to throw the band a party so he could film them and post their video on YouTube. Which was fine. Amazing, even. It was most certainly great! Until Luke came to the school, staring at her with his stupid, beautiful, awed eyes, and with his soft, perfect smile, saying things that made her combust and melt, all at the same time.

"I think you make me a better writer." 

    "I think we make each other better."

Calling Nick 'Luke' was bad enough, but slipping into a complete musical sequence as she danced with him? "Goner" didn't even begin to describe her. 

Like the other times they'd written together, the lyrics flowed through her, finishing the song he'd started with the same ease as one would take a breath.

Julie knew that whatever was going on between her and Luke couldn't happen or, if it did, it couldn't last. In fact, in the great scheme of life and ghosts, she didn't know much, but what she did know was that - be it in life or in death - love was constant. 

He didn't need to have a heartbeat or to be able to touch her for her to love him. He was just as real to her as the next person, and whether it would hurt in the long run or not, it didn't matter. 

She knew Flynn was only looking out for her, but that ship had sailed, and Julie was already so lost in his ocean eyes that avoiding eye contact wasn't going to bring it back. She would entertain her though, even knowing it wouldn't work. Just like the tide, eventually he'd pull her right back in.

She could love him just as he was, for however long they had together, and especially after that.

-

End notes: I hope you guys enjoyed it! And, if you'll notice, at the beginning it kind of gives off the impression that Luke eventually finds out about the song and Julie tells him how she found it. Which may or may not lead you to believe that they're in a relationship. I guess it all depends on interpretation though ;)

Oh, also! Shout out to the chaos squad folks that guessed right! You guys are no fun :( /j lmao

[dandelionapril]

Are you in a relationship or dating at the moment? Any tips how to put yourself out there and have confidence to go on dates?

Hey, angel, this might be a long one 💕💌

So I'm not currently in a relationship. If we're being honest here, it's actually been quite some time since I've been in anything serious. 😅 So I'm not sure if I'm the best person for advice here, but your ask is something that I feel like I can heavily relate to. Truthfully, I'm not one for casual dating or using apps, I've always preferred meeting people in a very organic way. And I have to wonder how much of that is because of my disdain of those things, or how much is because of my lack of confidence and fear of rejection in those situations. (it's a little bit of both tbh)

But anyways, here's my advice. Before anything, ✨KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH!✨ I think its crucial to remember that you are worthy of finding love and finding someone out there for you. I think ultimately we all want someone in our lives to share our love, happiness, all the things in between, and our time with. But I also think it's important to want to share that with people who are worthy. I say this bc, dating, and putting yourself out there. You're gonna run into some assholes and people who will attempt to put you down. I say this as someone who has dealt with people getting ugly when you're not giving into them. It’s hella discouraging and confidence shaking. I just wanna make that clear bc I do think its so important. Know you’re worthy. And know WHO’s worthy of YOU! 💖

As for putting yourself out there. It's scary, ngl. I think you have to be comfortable with rejection and being let down. That's the hardest part. Liking someone and they don't like you back? It fucking suuuuucks! 😩 But eventually you'll see that its not the worst thing in the world. And you’ll get a little more comfortable with that. It makes asking someone out, or saying yes to a date, a little easier. I think also, once you've been on the scene a bit, you'll get a clearer picture of what you want and what you wont accept. I think knowing that will help your confidence a bit more. You'll be less likely to want to waste your time and more likely to be a bit more forward. I honestly think it all comes down to time and allowing yourself to test the waters. And if u have a little bit of an inkling that this other person likes you already, just go for it! I promise that we’re harder on ourselves than we need to be. Don’t overthink it too much. I have the habit of doing that, and it’s just not necessary.

Now…there are a couple of outer things that you can do to help boost your confidence. When I’m in a great mood I feel like I can take on anything. Of course working on that internally is important, but sometimes just wearing a cute outfit I feel beautiful and goddess like in, can help tremendously. Listening to certain music before getting bold and trying to make a move lol. If this is in person, or not, a spritz of my favorite perfume does wonders. Feeling good inside and outside can make you feel a little bolder! 💓

I wanna reiterate though that I'm literally the worst person to ask bc i never shoot my shots! I'm a shy bitch that cant take her own advice usually. But I think once you have an idea that someone likes you, it’s a lot easier to find that confidence to just go for it, go on that date with them, ask them out, message them, whatever it may be.

I hope in this mess of a reply, you can find something useful, angel! Sending you so much love, my darling! If u ever wanna come off anon, and talk specifics, I may be able to help you out a bit more. I’m not sure if your question was just about dating in general, or dating as a fat person (lord knows that’s a whole different thing). But I wanted to let you know that my inbox and dms are always open 💌💖💌

[future-dregs]

Send Me a Fandom Ask Game

@nitghowl1600

Yu Yu Hakusho, I love that, thank you.

Let's dig in and see what the answers are.

The first character I first fell in love with: Hiei!

My sister actually read it first, and then we watched the anime together, and from the moment she showed me his first picture I knew I would love him. And I was RIGHT. He's a bastard gremlin (affectionate) and that's just the ones I like, so it was really no surprise that he rocketed right up to the top.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Yusuke. Despite being the MC, he was an absolute ASS (which was all part of his character development but I digress), and I really, REALLY didn't like him. Brash, crass, sexist, and irritating, I did not want to spend any more time around him than was strictly necessary. Now, of course, if you've seen any of my posts or tags, you'll see that he's shoved his way into my heart and I love him very dearly. He's amazing, and his growth, maturity, and tenderness are something outstanding.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Yoko Kurama. Idk who was a closet furry in that translations room, but giving the giant, muscled fox man a "time for spankings" line was a damn choice and a choice they kept on making. Every time he opened his mouth I braced in horror and despaired of what he would say, cause ALL OF HIS LINES ARE LIKE THAT. (My sister assures me that wasn't in the manga….that...I have yet to completely finish). I do not like Yoko Kurama. But the fandom does. Oh, how they do.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Itsuki. He's not great and his relationship with Sensui is (imo) weird at best and unhealthy at worst (though I wouldn't go so far as to that its abusive). But idk man, he's a compelling, interesting character. He's a demon, who was being hunted by Sensui and was about to be killed by him, but Sensui thought he was funny and hot I guess so he let him live and they started hunting together. After Sensui's horrific (in every absolute sense of the word, holy fucking shit) realization about the humans he had been working to protect, and he was so shattered and disturbed and at loose ends that he had to make multiple personalities to protect himself and process what happened to him, Itsuki stuck with him. They may not have dealt with what happened to them in the healthiest manner, and Itsuki stepped back and let him go when he should have intervened, but what they hell else were they supposed to do, really? He supported and loved Sensui in the best way he knew how, even if that way turned out to be pushing him to the point of self destruction. Their last moments together were very moving, and solidified him as an intriguing character to me. Idk what the fandom feel for him is, but my sister greatly dislikes him, so that's who I'm picking.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Lame, but I don't think I have one.

The character I would totally smooch: Yukina. But a nice, cute little forehead kiss. She's precious and want all good things for her, and I'd like to kiss the top of her head like a cat. I don't have any character I'm attracted to though.

The character I’d want to be like: I admire Kuwabara. He's strong as hell and can fight like crazy, but he runs off of love. Like, the power of love is what motivates him. He's kind, loves his friends so much that he was willing to debase and humiliate himself so that no harm would come to them, he loves cats, his sister, PEOPLE in general and he just genuinely wants to make the world around as good as he can. He applies himself to his studies and is determined to make himself into a good man, and if I could be at all like him, I would consider myself to be a success. (The dub frickin' BUTCHERED him and all of his character traits btw)

The character I’d slap: Koenma. He deserves it. He bears a lot of responsibility for the REALLY bad stuff that happened and the unnecessary pain and torment that several characters went through. Aside from that he's also a little whiny and should really treat his second better but hey, what else is new?

A pairing that I love: YuHieiRama. This is not the most *popular* paring in the fandom (30 fics on Ao3, minimal art, there's…there's next to nothing, basically) but I LIKE it.

Kurama treasures Yusuke, he doesn't even attempt in any way to hide that fact. Also Kurama has two hands and he knows it. There's a reason Hiei/Kurama is one of the biggest ships in the fandom, their flirtation, instigated mostly and many times, by Kurama, is too much to be ignored. Hiei had THIS wonderous line "I would kill you before you could touch him (Yusuke)" which is HUGE for him and his character because his whole shtick is that he "doesn't care" about other people (he does sometimes he just doesn't show it) but when he thought Yusuke was in imminent mortal danger, he didn't hesitate even a moment to VERBALLY THREATEN (AND THEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE HOW IMPORTANT YUSUKE IS TO HIM) the one posing the danger. And he would have. And he's not a big talker, so this was a BIG MOMENT to him and his character development. Also, though not as open as Kurama, and more bashful about receiving, he reciprocates the flirtation, and seems almost to expect or wait for it at times (and then he tries it out on Yusuke, it's so cute). On Yusuke's end, he admires and respects them both, he likes them both and he just genuinely WANTS to be around them. They are right up there with the top five or so most important people in his life and his devotion is obvious. There's also the common bond between them with Kurama and Hiei being yokai, and Yusuke (SPOILER) also now being one. They have an understanding of each other and a deep care and they make such a wonderful unit, and their interactions, both between any of the two of them, or all three of them together, are just LACED with care and affection and (I think) romantic, flirtatious undertones. *deep breath* I'm so sorry about this.

A pairing that I despise: Yusuke and Keiko. And NO its not because I ship Yusuke with someone(s) else, its because I never believed them as a couple, and they seem supremely unsuited to each other. They kept saying "I love you, I love you, I like you, I miss you, I admire you, I want you" But they never seemed to show it, to prove or display that in any romantic way. They do care for each other, I'll believe that. But IN love? No. They make a horrible romantic couple, and I dislike it greatly.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 46 - watching notes

Full disclosure: I'm not in a particularly good mood today. Have you seen that "no productivity. Only guild." Meme flying around? That's me today :|

Hopefully this will distract me (though distraction was the problem in the first place 🙈)

I apologise for any typos you'll finde in this post 😅

To recap, the last thing I learned was that apparently, Jiggy married his own sister because Jin Guangshan was a scumbag who raped more women than he could possibly remember

I was told by several people that this episode is their favourite. No pressures or anything :D

The way someone is dragging up Jiggy's secrets has a lot of poetic justice to it. Everyone is outraged and gossiping. Consensus is reached quickly. Kinda makes me feel that that someone (who probably also wrote the letter to jgy) knows exactly how to use the sect world's worst qualities as a weapon

Yao what's-his-name, resident gossip queen, at it again

Don't look at me my memory is as bad as wwx when it comes to names :D

I was about to write who is Lianfang Zum again and then I remembered that it's jiggy's honorary title. See what I mean? ^^

What does it say about me that my heart makes a leap when I simply see wwx leaning close to lwj to whisper to him? 😅 I'll probably die reading the novel, that's what that says

Oh so it was the maid who sent the letter

Come on Wei Wuxian! That was cruel

Yeah Yao what's-his-name, why would you need to know the identity of who ever is behind this? It's not like you've ever been deceived before!

What's... with that bracelet?

I love it how everyone looks positively startled when Lan Wangji says something unprompted :D

Wait ... Zwei Jun is in his hands? Shit, i don't remeber what happened there. Where did Xichen go again? 😬

I'm so confused right now 🙈 I can't watch and read the subtitles and type

Okay, watched the whole conversation again, now I'm following

I reiterate my earlier statement that whoever is pulling the strings here knows exactly what strings to pull to get the clans to act

Great, another mob 🙄

Loooool

NOW you want his help? 😂

Sure, as soon as he can serve YOU with his "evil tricks", that's okay!

You can see how much wwx changed because he does not hold their hypocrisy to their faces. He mostly seemed tired of it

And Jiang Cheng just realised that wwx might indeed not be responsible for Jiang Yanli's death, didn't he? He's almost stunned 🥺

Or is BEAUTIFUL to see Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji move in such unity! 😭

Oh ... those are the graves of his foster parents, right? :(

And Yanli ... oh God I forgot about Yanli 🥺

I'm crying again. Nothing on this show will ever hit as hard to me as the Yunmeng siblings' fate

I couldn't help myself, I legitimately just stroked my laptop screen where Yanli's plate was 🥺

So many conflicting emotions

Thanks to a friendly anon, I know that these three bows together are marriage thing! 😭😭😭

So yeah, they're married now. I dont make the rules :')

Somehow, this feels like them asking wwx's foster family's blessing

And now I'm imagining Shijie smiling back at them gently and I'm crying 🥺

And by God, I love lwj's gentle teasing :')

This whole scene, he's so soft! 😭

And it think that Wei Wuxian probably thought that he'd never get to step into Lotus Pier again. But here, he can finally say his goodbyes to his Shijie properly. He can heal! 🖤

And again, I cannot stress enough how wonderful that is! And how rare and precious in a show like this. So often character's get put through unimaginable trauma, but they either brush it off no problem or the show/movie ends immediately after the main action and you are left to imagine the number it did on the character's psyche. There are so rarely fantasy shows that really dive into the emotional fallout the plot has on their characters and then give them time to heal. Thus show does both and I'm so goddamn overjoyed my it!

Come to think of it, it reminds me of a very good hurt/comfort fic 🤷‍♀️

Jiang Cheng pleae, fir once, try not to be angry immediately when you're hurting :(

He still takes special offence that lwj is there. Makes me wonder if he still feels like wwx chooses lwj over the Jiang sect and is still hurt by it 😔 (note that at the same time, he reminds wwx that he's very much not a member of the Jiang clan anymore. God, the man has not worked through his own feelings ...)

For once, as much as I love it when lwj defends wwx (especially when it's not against any physical harm, but because he doesn't want wwx to be hurt emotionally) I think him interfering with this particular conflict does not help

Okay sorry, but no! lotus pier was not destroyed because wwx saved lwj in that cave. That was just an excuse for the Wen sect. They would have come eventually anyway

Ohhh

So there's my answer

He's still hurt because he feels wwx chooses anyone else over his family, which is to say him

And he probably can't understand because their positions are so different. The (future) sect leader and the son of a (dead) servant and a rogue cultivator who never felt quite like he belonged 😔

It's so goddamn tragic how much between these two was destroyed simply because they have such a different status in society and could never quite understand each other's perspective

And again, wwx just takes it 💔

Until, that is, lwj's honour gets besmirched

Don't fight in front of Shijie 🥺

Jiang Cheng's every action screams that he still loves his brother and that amidst all that pain for his lost family, is also deep betrayal and grieve for the brother he thought he could always count on 🥺💔

Can we appreciate for a second how much this shot tells us? From Jiang Cheng's angry desperation, to Wei Wuxian's quite acceptance of his rage (which must be so confusing to Jiang Cheng and probably hurt him even more. Because fighting is always how these two resolved their issues!) to Lan Wangji who is in full on protective mode (which I find more than heartwarming,but still think probably isn't helpful rn)

He ... what?

I still don't quite understand when exactly wwx's lack of golden core shows. Why does he have a nosebleed here?

What?

Oh!

Wen Ning 😱

I get what he wants to do!

Have we ever seen him this calm and determined before?

Abd they understand 😱😱😱

The look on all of their faces! Shiiiiit

I'm crying again

Oh wangii is crying 🥺

Wen Quing 💔💔💔 I'm crying even harder just looking at her. I've MISSED her 🥺

Lan Zhan your FACE!! 😭

The way he's looking at wwx in his arms, as if he's seeing him fir the first time

And by god, I can only imagine what he must be thinking

He must be reevaluation every single interaction they had since wwx started down the path of demonic cultivation 😭

I'm a bit in awe of Wen Ning here and how much he must have been holding in. That's the steadiest and most confident he's ever been

Oh Jiang cheng 💔

That looks like a man whose entire world has just been shaken to its core

And Lan Wangji is crying so much 🥺

God I hope he doesn't blame himself even more 🥺

Aaaaaaahhhh, so that is why he wouldn't just carry the sword for appearance sake and why he just had a nosebleed!

Jiang Cheng probably needs about a month to process all that :/

And therapy ...

Aaaaaaahhhh! The boat scene! I've seen gifs! 😍😍😍

A penny for Lan Wangji's thoughts ...

Oh I'm so so so so glad that Wen Ning gets to say thank you to the man who raised his ... cousin (?) :')

Oh god we get to see!!!!

Oh little a Yuan 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I wonder now, did Lan Qiren know who the child was that his nephew suddenly brought back to cloud recess?

I'm glad that we all learned from this that keeping secrets from the people we love, especially secrets that concern them personally, will eventually come back to bide us in the ass. Than you for delivering that important lesson, wen Ning!

Which reminds me that I hope they eventually tell wwx that they know 😬

I swear to god, one of these days I will melt from the gentleness in lan Wangji's gaze :')

Shit. He had to be awake? 😳

You can pinpoint the moment Lan Wangji's heart breaks for all the suffering wwx endured and how close he came to loosing him even then 🥺

Waking like that in you lovers arms in the middle of a lotus pond - that's the dream *sighs* (minus the passing out bit)

It's weirdly cute that wwx thinks that it's Jiang Cheng's insults that have lwj so upset 😅

Oh GOOOOD ...

I can't

The moment Yanli's themes started to play and she appeared I started to bawl 😭😭😭

And he's sharing the lotus pods with them ... oh please, lwj, please understand what he's saying. That's his pove language! His sister's food was how he received love and right now he passes it on to you! Please, please understand it! 🥺

Oh lwj, don't 🙈

Awwwwww ....

He's breaking the rules for you!!! Just to make you smile!!! 😭😭

And holy shit look at their expressions 😭

By now you should know that he's willing to break the rules for you :')

And poor third wheel Wen Ning 😂

Now there are glittering butterflies???

Do they have some kind of romantic aesthetic bingo going on in this episode???

Oh okay, messenger butterflies

Please appreciate wwx almost climbing into lan Wangji's lab in excitement :D

Thay scene transition was pretty af!

Hey! Why do they bully wen Ning? 😤

*shakes wwx by the shoulders* DO YOU GET THAT HE LOVES YOU NOW???

Huh, this episode was a roller coaster. you guys did NOT exaggerate! I loved it to pieces. I'm floored once more by all the actor's performances. Wen Ning revealed a lot about his character, Jiang Cheng broke my heart, Lan Wangji made it melt and Shijie is still able to make me bawl in an instant. But ... I'm not left with a bitter feeling. Sure, jiang Cheng and wei Wuxian havebt reconciled, but the truth is the first step to even have that possibility. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both healing and whatever happens in the last 4 (4!!!😭) episodes, I'm not dreading it that much right now. I feel like we're climbing upwards :)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose thank you guys for staying with me for this crazy ride 💙🖤💙

Also one last thing: please don't tell me what happens differently in the novel in any given scene. I am still reading it (about half way through rn) and I'd like to still be surprised by stuff like first kisses and love confessions 💙🖤

I should have put something like this at the end before, but I always forgot. That's on me 😅 so don't feel bad, if you've shared something before :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: It's probably a lost cause Ava: but I lost my bracelet when we went out Ava: I remember having it in the first club but not after that Ava: If you're in the 2nd again, could you ask? Ava: No doubt it's long gone but James: I'll ring, I know the owner James: but I'll need a description, I don't remember what it looks like Ava: Thanks Ava: [sends picture like oh hey remember this face] James: [a long enough pause for him to have been trying to find this bracelet everywhere and she probably thinks he's fucked off] James: sorry, no joy Ava: Oh, no worries Ava: Cheers anyway, like James: did you go anywhere after? James: you could've had it on longer than you think Ava: I've already rang Kings, in case I left it in the dorm or something but no luck there either James: none with uber either James: kept me on hold for ages to let me know they don't have it Ava: Ugh, sorry Ava: Don't worry any more on it, it isn't sentimental or anything like that James: it was kind of a helping hand honestly, youngest liked the music they played, a very impromptu lullaby from an unexpected source Ava: Well, who knew hold music was good for anything but rage quits Ava: Unless they're now having a really angry nap James: 😂 James: that'll more likely be me later Ava: If you're lucky, yeah? James: if it hasn't run out Ava: Surely not James: they've both got some kind of hangover detector James: I'm sure you can imagine Ava: I've spent enough time with my nephew to know Ava: No sympathy from a toddler James: indeed Ava: Look, I don't know if I should even bring it back up but I'm sorry for how things went down that night James: I don't get caught up in regrets, remember Ava: I remember Ava: But I didn't Ava: I don't have bad intentions or anything, that's not me James: you've not struck me as someone who does Ava: How do I strike you? James: It was agreed I'd need longer than an evening to answer that Ava: I suppose Ava: First impressions can still be a thing James: it was a good first impression Ava: I'm glad James: but you're also sorry? Ava: I can't be both? James: you can Ava: So, you aren't sorry Ava: but are you glad? James: I can't be Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I can't not be sorry James: It's me who should be sorry Ava: That's up to you Ava: if you don't do regrets you don't James: my actions don't only affect me Ava: I know Ava: Well, you won't get any trouble from me, like I said, not about that James: there's a line drawn under it James: you won't get any from me either James: [lies because you know he's bought her a replacement bracelet so she'll literally get that like the next day, boy we see you okay] Ava: Okay James: it was fun while it lasted, don't beat yourself up any harder James: the big glasses were cute but you shouldn't have to keep them on indefinitely Ava: Jesus Ava: Don't you know you're meant to pretend you didn't see that James: but walking around with your eyes & mouth closed all the time is very exhausting & I haven't had my nap yet Ava: I also have no sympathy for you, idiot James: I think you have some, but I don't blame you for not wanting to give it to me Ava: Nope, none Ava: I promise Ava: no space in my head James: oh Ava James: you have my sympathies, in that case Ava: Don't James: you don't want them? Ava: Let's say I don't do sympathies James: understood James: they are easy to get weighed down in Ava: and so rarely sincere James: it's reminiscent of wearing wet clothes, people only really want you to take them off in order to spare themselves the puddles James: they ask you if you're cold but they care about their floors Ava: Exactly Ava: and floors are more important 'round here Ava: and anything resembling sincerity is as unsightly as a damp mark on your new carpet James: the content I'll require for my English degree is writing itself Ava: Is that what you want to do, really? James: it's a question that'll get answered as often as it's asked Ava: How often do you get told what you want then James: daily at least Ava: How often does it come close James: it has yet to Ava: Oh James James: you don't do sympathies James: please never change on my account Ava: It could be empathy James: but is it? Ava: We'd need another night James: how many more bracelets have you got to lose? Ava: 😂 Ava: What kind of Chelsea girl do you take me for? James: you heard me say it was a good first impression Ava: 😏 I'd take a bow but can't risk losing any more jewels today James: we'll pretend you really did Ava: If that's what you're into, II James: what kind of Kensington boy do you take me for? Ava: Won't be the first to have a #scandal James: no trouble, need I remind you Ava: Just hypothetical, obviously James: you just hypothetically wanna know what I'm into? Ava: I just hypothetically hit the nail on the head James: if that's what you think, Ava Ava: Go on then Ava: Are you even gonna hypothetically tell the truth though? James: where's a hypothetical lie getting me? Ava: Away from hypothetical shame if it's weird shit Ava: I'm not one for hypothetical judgment though James: I'm not one for hypothetical shame Ava: Soooo Ava: 👀 James: I don't know, truthfully James: I'd need a whole hypothetical life, I suppose Ava: Fair Ava: It's a pretty bait question anyway James: you have an answer though, I can tell Ava: Singular? Ava: How rude James: 😂 James: because one leads to another not because you're hypothetically uninteresting Ava: Yeah, that's right Ava: about to be so hypothetically fuming James: you can have as many hypothetical apologies as you have interests, okay? Ava: No need to change on my behalf, however hypothetical James: what makes you think a personality change would be required Ava: Apologies are awful close to regret James: I'm not saying them to myself Ava: Try it out then Ava: See if I'm into it James: I'm really sorry I had to leave Ava: Me too Ava: but I don't think I'm about it, so you don't need to mention it again James: if you don't want me to, I won't Ava: I figure you owe enough sorries to more important people Ava: I'm good, honest James: I'm happy to hear it James: & not looking to mess anything up for you, hypothetically or actually Ava: I know Ava: You haven't Ava: it isn't my business so you know, no obligation to answer Ava: but why did you get married so young? James: because I had a baby to raise that young Ava: Yeah James: I wanted to do something that would actually help, at least shut up our parents because there was no silencing all the horrible things everyone else was saying James: It wasn't fair to treat her suddenly like public enemy number 1, not for that Ava: That makes sense Ava: I can see the logic James: It was a mistake we both made, I couldn't just leave her to it James: but I don't know, maybe we'd have both been better off if we'd approached it differently James: as parents but not a couple Ava: Well, it isn't permanent Ava: You can still do that Ava: Co-parent, that's not leaving her to it James: She won't let that happen Ava: It won't be easy Ava: It's weighing up if the now is worse than how invariably shit divorce is James: every time I try to leave I'm not allowed to see or speak to them until I go back James: she gets everyone on her side, including my parents Ava: If you go through official avenues, she won't just be able to do that Ava: She can't say you're unfit because you're not Ava: That's so shit and Ava: not right James: but she'll get my daughter to say that she hates me & doesn't wanna see me by telling her that's what I'm saying, I know she'll turn them both against me long before anything gets officially sorted out James: last time I walked out she told Jay so many things that aren't true Ava: She'd say that to a kid? Ava: Her kid? Ava: what's wrong with her James: I've given up trying to figure out everything that is Ava: You can't do this forever Ava: You deserve better Ava: you don't get to fuck someone over because you have a kid with them, imagine it reversed, how much of a bad guy you'd be then, it's no different just because she's the mum James: I'll send them both away to school when they're older, but for now I have to do this Ava: How do you do it Ava: How have you lasted this long, never mind how long that will be James: I see my children every day, it makes everything else bearable James: & I know they need that Ava: Yeah Ava: They're the most important thing Ava: but you matter as well, you can't Ava: I don't know James: for better or worse, right? Ava: You don't get to pick one each though, like James: I made my bed, Ava James: everyone told me not to marry her but I did Ava: 'cos you thought it was the right thing Ava: it shouldn't function as a lifelong punishment James: I never thought it was right James: I just wanted to be a better dad than I've got James: & that was the only way she'd let me Ava: That's a good reason Ava: even if it turned out not to be the best idea James: bad ideas have been around longer than she has James: I can't remember when I last had a good one James: I'd have been younger than you Ava: It's hard to make them when you have to commit to the worst, like Ava: you've gotta do something for you Ava: just 'cos you wanna Ava: or you'll lose it James: I will if you'll meet me for coffee James: I wanna see you again Ava: Okay Ava: I'd like to see you too James: tomorrow? Ava: I can do that Ava: What time, I have lunch at 1 or I can do after 5 James: lunch works Ava: Cool Ava: Looking forward to it James: I am too Ava: 😊 James: [when you're gonna have to go so far away for your date so you don't get spotted lol] Ava: [honestly should defs say its a school day so you ain't getting back for afternoon classes but that's not so wild anyone is like hello??? but start the sneaking as you mean to go on] James: [literally gonna spend half her lunch break on-route in the car cos London so we gotta but at least we can say it's an uber mood again so he's not driving] Ava: [I'll do some before 'cos like is he gonna show nerves] Ava: We still on for lunch time? James: nothing else has come up Ava: 👍 Ava: I'll book my ride James: I'll pick you up Ava: Are you sure? James: sure that we don't need 2 separate ubers going to the same place? yes Ava: fair point Ava: but I'll definitely get the coffees then James: no you won't Ava: The post came before I left this morning Ava: you really didn't have to do that Ava: but you did, so I can definitely get you a latte or whatever your particular shade of coffee is James: I didn't want leave you bracelet-less & me close to having a regret James: so I kind of did have to Ava: Well, when you put it like that Ava: thank you, it was one of my favourites actually Ava: didn't wanna push for that regret too hard though James: now you won't have to Ava: The coffee being bitter over the company definitely sounds like a better plan James: you don't have to order coffee, you know Ava: I'll probably get an iced drink of some description Ava: ☀🥵 James: too much sunbathing between classes? Ava: 😏 Ava: I'm sure the dons would say any is too much Ava: but I'm still pretty pale James: I'm correcting that to still pretty Ava: Gonna look like a 🍅 now James: who doesn't like 🍅? James: bloody marys are fantastic for one Ava: Now I know you have good taste James: in drinks at least Ava: and 🍅s thank you James: potentially everything but wives & uni courses Ava: Don't make me laugh because it's definitely not funny James: but hypothetically how smitten would I be if you did laugh? Ava: Oh, head over heels, of course Ava: like 👼s singing James: I thought so Ava: Don't wanna hypothetically disappoint James: it's not even hypothetically possible Ava: Your level of hypothetical trust is cute James: your level of hypothetical modesty is unnecessary Ava: Fine, but it's your fault when I don't fit my hypothetical hat James: I'll buy you a bigger one James: hypothetically Ava: You going to hypothetically redress me piece by piece? James: I'm not falling into the trap of you thinking I'm saying I need to James: there's nothing wrong with how you dress Ava: I'm not even hypothetically that sly Ava: Straightforward and to the point, yeah? James: it's what I like about you Ava: You're pretty good at it yourself James: game playing has never got me anywhere I want to be Ava: Games rely too much on chance and luck for my liking Ava: someone has to lose James: precisely James: as much as I'd potentially hate losing to you less than I would to lots of other people, it's still better as a hypothetical Ava: No games, I promise James: I'm taking that to also mean no more pool at the vault & you can't stop me Ava: 😱 Ava: You're really going to make me enroll just to get back in that VIP venue? Ava: Rude James: 😂 James: seeing you every day would be fun but putting fun ahead of all things academic gets you where I currently am in life James: I can't do that to you, even hypothetically Ava: You can hypothetically follow me for your next course Ava: I'm a great study buddy James: unless you're going abroad somewhere to study Ava: Unless you count SE as abroad Ava: lord knows many of our peers do 🙄 James: in that case, following you sounds close to a good idea Ava: 🤏 Ava: I'll find a way to hypothetically swing it Ava: the world needs your writing, II James: I've never been more devastated to have a job waiting for me that isn't strictly hypothetical Ava: I's doing, I suppose Ava: What are you going do instead of write your great novel about me? James: you'll have to look out for my self published works written by night under an obvious pseudonym Ava: I will Ava: Will you sign my copy? James: of course James: under your printed dedication Ava: I'll have to think of an excellent pseudonym myself James: can you do 1 other, simpler thing for me before then? Ava: I'm sure I can? James: order for me something you like James: I don't know what I want Ava: I like a challenge Ava: Okay James: do you want me to tell you if I don't share the liking of it or not? Ava: 'Course Ava: 'cos I need to find you something you do like James: if time doesn't run out Ava: We can have more lunches too Ava: as well as evenings James: that'd be good James: I'd hate to only see you in the dark Ava: That's mutual James: if I wrote us meeting exclusively at night everyone would assume I'd decided on a vampire novel James: so I'm happy to hear it Ava: I think its making a comeback Ava: and I'd definitely buy you as an Edward Cullen type James: I have no clue if I should be flattered or offended Ava: A potentially complex issue, a complex character beyond the sparkles Ava: I just meant you'd be eligible for dreamboat status James: you're saying I should make a detour to buy the book or download the film to my phone right now or I shouldn't? Ava: Will we have time to watch it together is the real question Ava: Because I have to pop your 🍒 James: is it a 90 minutes is all you need kind of film or 3 hours of lingering close ups? Ava: 126 James: I can do that Ava: Yeah? James: skipping a lecture I have no desire to be in to further my hypothetical masterpiece of a novel in the early stages of its development, that's a fantastic idea Ava: 💡 Ava: Was bound to have one eventually Ava: Let's do it then James: you're claiming not to have had any before now? Ava: In my life, obviously Ava: but with you? 'close to a good idea' is as close as I've got so far James: I won't deny you the opportunity to get closer then Ava: Thank you Ava: You can find out if it's only hypothetical that I'm unable to disappoint James: I feel like I already know that Ava: You've had a taste Ava: but you can have more Ava: if you want it James: I do Ava: Okay Ava: Good James: but it's never going to be as simple as words like okay or good Ava: It could be Ava: I'm not saying all the time Ava: or even that we can always give 126 minutes to it Ava: but whatever we can James: you can't say all the time because I can't ever give you all the time James: I can't give you any more gifts or regular dates or even selfies Ava: I know that Ava: I'm not asking for any of that James: but you should James: because you're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want Ava: Exactly James: why this? Ava: because you need somebody Ava: and I like you James: oh Ava Ava: It is as simple as that James: I'll try that out, see if I can believe it Ava: I know nothing else is but Ava: why not Ava: I want to and you don't need to buy that or promise time you haven't got James: for as long as you want to then Ava: for as long as you need me then James: no because James: my life isn't going to change Ava: James James: you don't know what she's like but I know everything she's ever done or is likely to do Ava: People like that don't stop, I know that Ava: they have to be stopped James: there's no stopping her Ava: Well there's no stopping me either and I'm on your side James: you don't need this Ava: I told you, I like you Ava: I won't just turn my back on you James: I can have this car turned around, you don't have to do anything Ava: Of course I don't have to Ava: and neither do you, not with me Ava: you don't owe me anything, I'm just telling you how it is for me Ava: and I want to see you James: I want to see you too, more than when I originally said it Ava: Good Ava: Then don't turn around, yeah? James: I always do the wrong thing, I don't want to, to you James: so if you don't want me to turn around, I won't Ava: I want you to do what you want, that's all Ava: even if that was turning around, which, undeniably, would be shit but I'd survive Ava: but you wanna come, I'm almost 100% James: understood Ava: Okay Ava: I've got a great urge to tell you I'm not insane but that makes me sound more so so I'll just Ava: 😶 James: you haven't once struck me as being & I have some experience, as it were Ava: That's alright then Ava: It's a comparison I don't need, you either, I'm sure James: just don't insist I marry you & it won't ever need to be made Ava: Easy Ava: Got my word James: if only I had your skill at losing jewellery Ava: It is a talent, definitely; but unteachable? Nah James: now you've got a great urge to teach me something James: okay Ava: So many whims, only so much time Ava: Lucky I'm an excellent teacher James: very novel protagonist-esque, honestly James: you're earning your page space Ava: If fictional me gets slated as dull I'll have to change my pseudonym and run away James: you couldn't be hypothetically dull if you actually tried James: never mind close to anything else Ava: You always know just what to say yet I still believe it sincere James: it is sincere James: from the kings head shaving horror stories until now Ava: I'm confident believing it, and you Ava: because boys who always know what to say always say the wrong things James: maybe 126 minutes later I will have Ava: That's okay Ava: a mix of right and wrong Ava: that's real Ava: anything other and you're definitely up to something Ava: 😇 or 😈 either way James: I gave you a real tour the moment you asked for it, that's 😇 Ava: It felt it James: I'm not going to leave in the middle this time James: strictly end credits Ava: Don't promise Ava: that's practically begging fate James: well that's the last thing I want, my lips are sealed Ava: Your lips are Ava: 😈 James: if that means yours have to be described as 😇 I'm fine with it Ava: See? Ava: You're too good with words James: they're a very prominent feature, I couldn't help but notice Ava: I like that you notice Ava: Do it some more James: because I'm not sure I could stop if you didn't like it, it's a relief that you do Ava: Don't stop Ava: then I don't have to either James: very fair Ava: 😇 James: how far can we push that angelic streak to one side because I'm here early James: can you leave? Ava: Lessons are barely real at this point in the summer term and it isn't as if I've been paying any attention all day so Ava: Give me 10 to 'fake' needing to go lie down James: I'm not having any PTSD symptoms from being here quite yet James: take as long as you require Ava: Honestly Ava: Least it is undeniably too hot for the blazer so I won't trigger you into leaving without me James: I'm undeniably sure the way you wear it wouldn't make me wanna leave Ava: God, you are so distracting and fully aware what you're doing to me right now James: in 10 minutes, or preferably less, you'll have a car to lie down in should you suddenly really need to James: meaning I regret nothing Ava: Bad man Ava: The blush is admittedly helping my case here James: I'm not gonna lie & say if you aren't still wearing that I'll go without you but James: I do want to see it Ava: I'd say there's 0% chance of you not seeing it and a full 100% of me being unable to hide it James: 🍅 right, of course Ava: The dangers of being pale Ava: why I need this tan Ava: obviously James: how far does it go? is 😳 going to colour in your tan lines like a modern art piece James: if so that's a must for my book cover Ava: Well now we have to see how inspiring you find it Ava: even if you can't take any 📸 James: physically no, but mentally I'll take so many Ava: You're too pretty for photographs anyway Ava: you don't even look real in person James: how can you say that about another person when you look like you belong on a chapel ceiling or somewhere equally beautifully crafted? Ava: I Ava: I'm just Ava: on my way James: you can't miss me, the engine's on & the song choices are questionable James: it's very low profile Ava: Got to get the driver onboard, for future 126s James: I'll ask him if he has any knowledge of the Twilight soundtrack Ava: 😂 Ava: It goes hard, FYI James: he looked at me like he's a believer about that James: absolute Ava: Then we won't have to invite him to our viewing party Ava: Thank God James: it'd be taking politeness to new heights James: he is going to play it for us though Ava: I'm gonna tip him so hard James: It's taken care of by me James: you've agreed to hypothetically buy out everything in this coffee place in search of something I'll enjoy so Ava: Okay Ava: so if you're being polite then can I be slightly 😒 at his presence 'cos I really need to be alone with you right now? James: it's a reasonable request James: more so than the one I'd like to ask of you Ava: Go on Ava: There's clearly room and time for the unreasonable James: Ava, I hear how much you don't want to waste any of the borrowed time we're basically forced to be on, but can you please walk slowly for my mental picture gallery Ava: [Does, obviously] James: [😍 clearly as the twilight soundtrack begins to blast from this vehicle so casually] Ava: [and what a mental image that is, doing a mini run at the end 'cos excitement and nerves] James: [it's fine cos we all know he'd have to resist the urge to lowkey drag her into the car despite what he said, looking like you're getting snatched from the school gates lol] Ava: [thank God your teachers are useless and we can but hope there's no window some kid is staring that hard out] James: [just staring at her taking all those mental 📷s again though as soon as she's in] Ava: [the blush is so real and she knows it] James: [if she's blushing already wait until the kiss he initiates because obvs it'd be as hardcore as their first one but like it'd be so much more intense not only cos he wants her more but also because he wants more time to do this now. Everything would be so slow and deliberate like he's gotta savour every possible way he can kiss her and every possible tiny reaction each thing he does has] Ava: [well enjoy boy because she will be dying in all the ways like there's no hiding from the casual anticipation that has built up here] James: [they both just die there and then #plot twist] Ava: [or this driver reports you 'cos you've just picked up someone from school and started getting it on lmao, luckily you not being paid to think so shh] James: [oh my god imagine, please just drive and groove to the epic bops thank you sir] Ava: [she's 17 now we're so fine lollol] James: [he does not know that but I hope James does] Ava: [he's done a stalk, her bday wasn't that long ago in the feed] James: [true, I hope you had an epic bday babe] Ava: [no doubt baby, so we've got a pretty good plan of their afternoon plans, is there anything else we wanna say went down?] James: [good question, realistically they'd probably run out of time but also I am highkey so I'm like give them forever lol] Ava: [I assume he usually picks Jay up from School 'cos unless Chloe wanna turnt up at the gates why would she, so that'd be 3.30 say so they've got from 1ish, Chloe would still have the baby and thinks he's in class so we do have a fair whack of time] James: [not gonna let you waste all of that trying everything on a coffee shop menu, don't worry guys] Ava: [although a moment you need all the moments] James: [gotta find him something he genuinely likes cos his missus be ordering for him everywhere they go] Ava: [oat milk flat white] James: [chin chin gals] Ava: [But yeah I don't think we need a Chloe interruption this time 'cos he'll have a time he has to go anyway so suck it bitch] James: [there will be plenty of opportunities to do more of them anyway] Ava: [when your wife is controlling and crazy] Ava: [I was thinking for when we get the whole 'I don't think Jay is his' moment rolling, maybe if she finds out he's cheating again or whatever she does the typical 'she ain't even yours!' and maybe she's done it before so James just thinks she's bullshitting 'cos she's crazy but Ava is like hmm shall we like explore that though 'cos it's not 'neither of them are yours' it's always just Jay] James: [that is actually perfect though] Ava: ['cos it can escalate when she inevitably finds out it's Ava 'cos sleuthing or maybe at some point they wanna be out 'cos fuck it and she's taking it way more personal than any other girl and it's like why though so then the Buster link can come out even if she accidentally drops it 'cos so mad] James: [we all know Chloe is that bitch 100%] Ava: [🙌] James: [do we wanna do any more convo like once he had to leave or shall we post it and move on] Ava: [I'll do a lil bit 'cos straightforward, highkey and cute tbh] James: [allowing it] Ava: I hope I didn't make you late at all Ava: and that your girls like the Twilight soundtrack James: if they don't they've inherited their mother's bad taste & they've got bigger problems ahead than me being a few minutes late Ava: Obviously Ava: but I'm just saying, don't be too disappointed, no one can like it as much as you 😏 James: I don't believe that you don't like it as much as me Ava: It is more than just a hypothetical that I enjoyed myself Ava: soundtrack included but not my favourite part James: I couldn't possibly be disappointed by anything else knowing that Ava: Disappointment is not in my vocabulary right now James: you won't need to add it back in on my behalf Ava: I believe that James: when can I see you again? Ava: You tell me Ava: There are four more films James: 4? Ava: They split the last book into two, such a gimmick but you know James: I promise not to do that when I write yours Ava: Well, if I get to play myself maybe I won't mind the exposure 🤔 James: I'm not sure that I want to play myself James: in which case I would mind the increased screentime you'd then have with whoever does Ava: There's no finding anyone else with eyes as blue as yours Ava: Gonna blow the special effects budget James: 😂 Ava: I'm so serious Ava: and jealous James: I'll describe your eyes as bluer & your skin as more tan, if you like Ava: I like your candor, remember Ava: More than I'd like to be remembered as tanned and having the bluest eyes James: I'd like to remember you exactly as you are Ava: Don't say we have to leave it that long to see each other again James: not quite Ava: My parents have a 4-day business trip Fri-Mon, you could come over at some point then? James: the weekend is not going to happen but I can make Monday work James: Friday possibly Ava: Okay Ava: Not quite coffee shop level but we've got all sorts for you to try out James: you sounded like your brother then, almost James: not that he's ever propositioned me in exactly the same way Ava: Awkward Ava: I'll try and avoid that then😬😂 James: awkward will be if your parents haven't decorated since I was last there Ava: Thankfully they have Ava: and I haven't insisted on taking his room James: or your sister's? Ava: Spent loads of time in there too? Ava: no, I've got my own room James: not with her, obviously James: but you know how parties tend to overspill into every room Ava: 'Course James: are you going to have one? Ava: Undecided Ava: I'll have some people over at the weekend but it might be pretty chill James: is Teddy included in the some people? Ava: I don't know Ava: Would you like him not to be or? James: I don't know Ava: I get that it could be weird Ava: It's strange thinking how close you used to be with Buster James: but that was basically another life James: for me & for him Ava: Yeah Ava: well, I don't have to invite him, like I said, I don't even know what I fancy doing yet James: it's up to you Ava: I know Ava: It's James: it's not my business, Ava James: I shouldn't have asked Ava: No Ava: It's not not Ava: I know things are complex but I don't feel bad for her, you know Ava: I don't feel bad for doing it James: me either but not only because of the no regrets thing Ava: So it just feels weird to feel like guilty or something around your brother when I'm not Ava: He doesn't need to know and won't but it doesn't need to be any weirder than it would be if I dated any of my friend's siblings under more 'normal' circumstances James: understood Ava: Yeah? Ava: It's hard to explain James: I'm following it Ava: Not saying we are dating or Ava: you know James: I can't have a girlfriend, but if I could Ava: Really James: you'd be a good choice Ava: but I ain't James: why not? Ava: I don't know Ava: never mind James: Ava Ava: Ignore me, I don't know what I mean Ava: It's not important James: I don't want to ignore you Ava: Okay Ava: but we can talk about other things James: any topic you want Ava: Hmm Ava: Tempting but vague James: I assumed you'd prefer it over boring & specific Ava: A fair assumption Ava: What are you doing tonight though, ell me about your boring and specific James: I can't pinpoint specific dad duties as such, not with these two James: I could be gluing a doll house back together or walking an imaginary dog Ava: A handyman and a dogwalker Ava: either way, never a dull moment James: & that's without factoring in the possibility I could be dragged to a dinner party or subjected to guests arriving expecting champagne & nibbles with no prior knowledge or warning James: on any night James: how are you spending yours? Ava: Of course Ava: Expect no less from this town's leading socialite Ava: I've been summoned to a catch-up and 'homework' sesh as I didn't get back for last period Ava: the amount of messages, assumedly missed the second coming 🤷 James: I'm surprised you're not assumed to be too 'sick' to go James: maybe you shouldn't play yourself in my film either Ava: 😧 Ava: Um rude Ava: Maybe you need to try harder to make me 🍅 James: starting Friday or starting now? James: because how I would in person is not what I'm going to be able to do here Ava: Admittedly both sound intriguing James: so let's do both James: [sends her some kind of 💣🔥 sext because words are all they have as we all know what'll happen if you start sending pics, then she will and it's a whole dangerous thing] Ava: Oh Ava: and I was trying to avoid the cliche of telling you I missed you already James: there's no need to dismiss every cliche off hand James: some of them are good Ava: Some of them are very good Ava: remember when you write your book James: you'll remind me, right? James: I think we can assume too that writer's block isn't one of the enjoyable cliches Ava: I'll do my best Ava: Some protagonist I'd be otherwise James: very fair James: I'll do mine, in turn Ava: I have every faith in your way with words Ava: You've not gone wrong there yet James: [sends her another text because why not obvs, not like you're a busy man with a fam having an affair or anything] Ava: [God bless the multitask] Ava: James James: yes? Ava: It's going to be a really hard wait 'til Monday James: I'll fit you in Friday James: even if it's only an hour Ava: If you're gonna make it sound like a dentist appointment 😏 James: not the most original excuse but it'd still get you out of school Ava: Cheek 😂 Ava: My excuses are A* James: I don't doubt it James: but I don't want to find out by having you use any on me Ava: Just for you James: okay James: there's no excuses needed to keep posting selfies, is there? so I'll see you every day until Friday actually Ava: Of course Ava: Be dead suspect if I didn't tbh Ava: Can you post one? Ava: Even if you're in the background fulfilling whatever role is required at that precise moment James: for you, I will Ava: 😊 James: look out for it Ava: No.1 fan right here James: you're joking but you're not wrong Ava: Am I? 👀🤔 James: aren't you? Ava: I'll never tell Ava: Got to keep some mystery or who's gonna want to turn the page James: oh you want a mystery at the heart of this James: I see Ava: Does that not gel with your plan for the plot? James: I'll incorporate it after a quick brainstorm Ava: Hot James: 😈 Ava: Mhmm James: you're hot, I'm just lucky Ava: How so? James: to get to spend any time with you Ava: Oh please Ava: You're very good company James: most people are capable of being for a few hours Ava: Who do you know? Ava: Have to introduce me 😏 James: 😂 do you mind if I don't? Ava: I think I'll manage James: I'm happy to hear it Ava: For now, I need to be filled in on the gossip Ava: tell you if any of it is story-worthy James: do your work too please James: I'd like to follow you to a good uni Ava: Are you telling me what to do now? Ava: Don't hate that James: it's a nicely worded suggestion for now Ava: Noted 😇 James: you're going to be good then? Ava: I promised I'd be no trouble James: I know you did Ava: And I'll try really, really hard to keep that promise Ava: even if you make that difficult James: I'm trying really hard not to get in the car & come find you James: I don't think I have to tell you how difficult that is Ava: Damn responsibilities Ava: We can have all Monday though Ava: think about that when it gets tough Ava: I will James: I am Ava: 💙

[beinscorpio]

lavender And Black - part 4

summary: Lily makes the reader realizes something right before her birthday 

A\N: sorry that this is really late m=but university was killing me and I’m finally on vacation also  I changed the name from half a life to lavender and black so I hope you don’t mind and again I hope you enjoy my bad writing :)

Sirius Black x Reader: because if I’m going to write about anyone it’s definitely Sirius :’)

 The highlight of your third year at Hogwarts didn't happen when Hogwarts was open for classes again, it was actually in the summer of your second year. You always heard of your aunt but never got to know her since she died when you turned two, but the universe had a plan for you to discover a piece of her mind. You found her potion making journal where she recorded every single potion she made. You thought that her intention was to publish it, except you discarded that idea completely when you saw the instructions to a potion that you knew too well, your potion. Nobody knew about its existence, and the few that knew about it didn't know how to make it. So you went to Hogwarts with the book as another secret.

or so you thought.

The journal was discovered by your friends two weeks after your third year started. You realized then that keeping a secret from them wasn't an option anymore. Now anyone else in your place would've planned their funeral by now, but if there's anyone you trusted more than your parents it would be your friends. Some people might call you crazy because what's at risk is your life, but you can learn a lot about people in two years, and in two years you realized that your friends won't let you get scratched, let alone seriously injured. As for the journal itself, it was for sure going to be used to get better grades in potion class, you just didn't expect what happened a week later in the middle of the night.

The Marauders found out some information regarding potion class, and of course, you were the first one that they had to tell, and the fact that is was probably past 12 am wasn't going to stop them.

their plan was to take you to their room, but they were stopped by none other than Severus Snape the minute they stepped into the Slytherin common room.  

" we just want to talk to y\n," explained Remus. He was the most calm out the marauders, but it was still obvious that he was not fond of Snape.

" If I were you I'd be more concerned about the trouble I'll get into for not being asleep than talking to y\n, " said Snape.

" yeah because you're tucked in bed right now," James replied to him. " hate to be the one with bad news but you're awake too"

" y\n is probably asleep " Snape informed them, his reply to James made it clear that the marauders will definitely not get in trouble anytime soon.

" yeah right, the only time y\n sleeps before 5 am is when you finally wash your hair, " said Sirius " she's pacing or reading a book right now "

before Snape had the chance to defend himself, you appeared with a book in your hand, and Sirius immediately gave Snape an I told you so fake smile.

" Hey, what are you doing here? " you asked your friends and they told everything. You were curious about what had to tell you, so you sneaked into their room, thankfully, you still had your aunt's journal with you because they told you that professor Slughorn was going to display 3 potions, and whoever identifies them gets to have liquid luck, which James wanted. They needed your help to learn how to recognize potions, after all, you were the best at them.

All of you gathered together for breakfast at the great haul the next morning. Out of all the topics you talked about your, birthday after a week was your favorite until Lily mentioned that Sirius will probably give the best gift since you’re basically dating. You didn’t know what it was, but something clicked in your head at that moment, but you continued with the conversation with the idea still in tieback of your head without realizing it.

The next morning at potion class professor Slughorn does exactly as what your friends told you he'd do. Lily was next to you that day, and so with three potions in front of you, you start guessing.

"This is definitely liquid luck," Lilly said pointing at the potion that looks like melted gold, and you agreed.

" Oh, I would recognize this anywhere  ، this is Pepperup Potion for sure," you told Lily, and now you had one potion left. This one you couldn't identify by color and you didn't recognize it immediately, so you decided to smell it.

" It's Amortentia" you blurted out.

“ really what did it smell like? “ Lily asked, but she knew she won’t get an answer after you asked her to repeat what she said again because you didn’t hear her. Even though she definitely knew who it smelled like because you had the exact same look on your face this morning at breakfast, She decided to let you process all the realization because while everyone considered you and Sirius a couple, it was very obvious that you didn't, well until today at least.  

Since breakfast, your mind couldn't stop thinking about it.  Even if you liked him, there was no way you were going to tell him especially that you didn't know if he liked you back, and rejection was a thing you were trying to avoid at all costs, but more importantly, you were definitely not going to ruin your friendship, so your decision was to just keep the feeling in there and not talk about it with hope that it goes away, you had no idea if that's even possible, but for your friendship's sake you were willing to try.

Your birthday was finally here weeks later, and you were so excited to spend it with your friends. The day was already started well with a letter and a gift from your parents. You decided to celebrate your birthday with your friends after class in your room. You got your favorite songs on a cd from Lily, a rare edition of your favorite book from Remus, and a sweater from Jame's parents as well as a month of doing my homework from James himself. Everyone was there and gave you gifts except Sirius as he was the only one who still had classes to go to. He appeared right after you opened James's gift with a box in his hand.

" I made it, Finally! " he said out of breath with a box in his hand. You subconsciously smiled and totally forgot the speech you prepared in case he didn't show up at all and didn't have to be a psychic to know that Lily is smirking.

He sat next to you and handed the box you, he was clearly excited, but not as much as you. The box was black with a purple ribbon that you untied and the first thing that you spotted was a small box which you decided to open first, and in it was a necklace with a small glass ball filled with lavender to the half and It'll pass carved on it. Now Sirius thought it was a perfect gift because your anxiety can become really bad sometimes and the only thing that helps you relax is the lavender cream you own which is why every single person says you smell like lavender. The next gift was an invitation to go to all the different places at Hogsmeade signed by my parents.

" How did you get them to sign it? "

" I have my ways, besides they'll be waiting for you there "

You were really missing your parents so knowing that you'll see them and that Sirius was so thoughtful made you cry. You hugged him and whispered a thank you. It was after the hug that he told you there's one more gift left, a huge bottle of wine which you decided to share with all your friends by playing a game, a question is asked by any person in the group,  and everyone drinks after answering the question. The game revealed some interesting information about everyone, like how lily rather die than relive her first date, What's next on Sirius's ways to drive my mother insane list and how Remus actually came up with the idea of marauders last prank.

By the time the question " what's the worst way to die? " was asked by Sirius you were definitely all drunk, and your answers, well let's just say were not what they would be different if the wine wasn't involved. James chose in vane while lily chose too soon and Remus chose in the hands of a beast.

" suddenly" you blurt out. " you're just going with your day normally not expecting anything and then poof, their gone and there's nothing you can do about it"

Everyone was clearly not expecting that kind of answer from you, and you could tell from the silence as well as their faces, but it was true, that's the worst way you could think of, and that after that day it wasn't only the worst way to die to you, but to all your friends as well. After some more celebration, all of your friends went to their room and sleep, still not forgetting that James has a Quidditch game to play tomorrow which is why the Quidditch field is the first place you went to after you all woke up.

James was a really good player, no one could deny that so it wasn't a surprise that he was the one who scored most of the points for Gryffindor, but the moment that got everyone on edge was when James was on his way to score and get that points that will break the tie between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

Come on, come on” whispered Lily and James scored moments later followed by the Gryffindor's seeker catching the snitch.

“ Yes, he did it y/n! “

And everyone including you started to cheer while filled with happiness. Maybe it was because you had this look on your face before, or because it was the first time you saw Lily happy and excited like this, but that day staring at Lily, you were sure that Quidditch was not the only thing that James won that night.

What you were oblivious to is that after the game Dumbledore and McGonigal had a very important conversation.

" Do you think we should suggest that she uses a memory charm on her friends? " asked McGonigal. " The news is from a very trustworthy person. If it's true, I'm certain he will go after her if he discovers what she's capable of"

" She made her choice regarding that already Minerva, let us confirm that the news is true first then we'll know what to do"

@atlas-of-a-human-soul @wishingforahome

[fromheroestodust]

Rose Killer: Pt.6; Vampire-ish Gala and a Posing Couple

Summary: You're the leader of the strongest mafia in London. What will happen when you're forced to team up with your worst enemy?

Warnings: violence, language

Word count: 2542

A/N: taglist is open!

"Hey Haz!" Tom's voice says from nearly in front of the door in the hall. Panic grips at both of you as Harrison jumps to his feet and helps you up, you quickly running to the bedside table to pretend you were cleaning up a game.

"Haz do you-" Tom starts, walking into the room before stopping. "Oh, hey Y/n...?"

“Hi.” you reply, a blush spreading across your cheeks as you put the lid on the box before walking towards the two, awkwardness and confusion already thickening the air as you bite your lip out of nerves.

“Well, anyway we have an event to go to." He says, giving a what are you doing here stare. “All of us.”

“Okay. When?” Harrison asks whilst scratching the back of his neck, a nervous habit you've seen him do before many times before.

"Now."

A surge of panic runs through you and definitely shows on your facial features. “What?! Seriously you asshole!” You yell, rushing to your room down the hall to get dressed and to get a new rose, still cursing at Tom as you walk through the doorway and into your own closet.

"Why the fuck was she in here so early?" Tom asks Harrison from the front of the bathroom as he gets ready for god knows what kind of event, the energy of the moment wearing off and tiredness setting in.

"I accidentally grabbed a few of her papers from yesterday." He quickly fibs, turning away from the mirror. "By the way, what type of event is this?"

"It's sort of a party." Tom states, a mischievous grin on his face as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Okay...? And the theme?" Harrison asks slowly, suspicion creeping into his thoughts as he turns away from the mirror and towards his friend.

"Uh... It's like a vampire style I guess." Tom shrugs. "By the way, we're not actually leaving for another two hours. See you in the car."

"You're suck an asshole." He smiles as the brunette walks out of the room to get ready himself, Harrison picking up his phone off the desk.

Haz: you have two hours. The theme is vampire-ish.

You: thanks!

You rummage through your closet, having added a few or more items before landing upon perfect dress, a smile splitting your face. Black fabric with a deep v-neck, floral lace sleeves and a long, flowy bottom that drags on the floor. You style your hair in a high pony with all your baby and shorter than other hairs out, perfectly framing your face in a messy but put together style. After putting on blood moon lipstick with black eyeshadow you walk out of your room, a black baccara rose tucked behind your ear.

"Oh, wow." You state as you see Harrison walk out of his room. "Snazzy Hazzy."

"Oh shut up." He grins, taking in your features sending butterflies through his stomach and a smile to form on his face. "You look absolutely stunning."

"As do you." You say, giving him a toothy smile while taking his hand in yours. "So what exactly are we supposed to be doing at this vampire party? Rather than drinking blood of course."

"Using my words, aye?" Harrison says after catching up with you and stepping into the ground floor.

"I've no clue. Tom's keeping most of the details discreet." He sighs, eyes still searching you up and down as he takes in the details of your dress. "Take a picture. It'll last longer." You smirk before walking around him and down the stairs, leaving him behind slightly shocked.

"Last time I checked you didn't come up with that saying." You smirk. "Anyway, who's all coming with us?"

"It's us, Tom, Harry, and Sam." He answers, leading the way into the living room.

"Oh, Y/n!" Tom's mum says as she steps into the room. "You look wonderful! So do you Harrison!"

"Thank you." You both smile, turning to face her with your shoulders pressed against each others.

"The other three are in the car. You can go ahead out." She informs you, a hand on your shoulder with a warm smile.

"Okay. We'll see you later." Harrison says before leading you out the door and into the waiting car.

"Finally." Harry breathes as you both sit down in the back, you in between Tom and Harrison as you drape the seat belt across your waist.

"Blame Tom for not telling us we have a party today and telling me two fucking hours beforehand." You hiss, glaring at Tom who sits with a smug grin.

"I could've made it one hour."

"Then we would've been late."

"Okay, okay." Sam intervenes, hands in your direction. "Let's try to be mature."

"Rich coming from you." Tom says under his breath before talking at an average volume, "We're going to be taking Luke Shmidt back with us. He owes stuff to both of us. Oh, and you and Haz'll be posing as a couple."

"What?!" You both exclaim, turning to face him with the blood draining from your own face leaving your skin as pale as a ghost.

"Yeah." He confirms nonchalantly. "It'd look weird if it was just a five person group walking around looking over the crowd."

"Won't people know who we are?" You groan, having to grab both of your hands to stop yourself from punching Tom in the face or throwing him out of the car. Or both.

"It's mostly Americans coming. And they're lower ranked so they most likely won't be to concerned with international high ranked mafias." He explains ignoring Harrison's still stunned expression.

"What makes you think you get to boss me around on these missions? We're teamed up, not like my mafia is all yours." You quip, your jaw clenched and your hands curled into fists.

"I'm the one who found out where he was and that he was going to this gala. So I'm taking charge." He states simply, ending the argument much to your displeasure.

"You'll pay Holland." You hiss before putting your back against the seat with your arms crossed over your chest.

"Oi, Haz, you finally have a girlfriend." Sam grins.

"Shut up." Harrison sighs while sticking up his middle finger at the younger boy, snickers running through the car as you're driven to who knows where in a situation you didn't imagine possible.

-

Your group walks into the dimly lit hall, you walking closely to Harrison as two men with dark glasses and suits open the large doors for you. There's a lot of loud talking going between men in highly detailed black suits, all with American accents.

As you step into the room, you notice many of their gazes scan you up and down, most with hunger but some with surprise. Harrison's hand protectively goes to sit on your shoulder as he sees their gazes, signalling for them to back off.

"Don't forget," Tom whispers, leaning his head in between you and Harrison causing his hand to jump away. "You're supposed to be a couple."

"I'm going to kill you." You hiss as he backs away with a satisfied smirk.

Your body tenses slightly when a hand is placed on your shoulder blade as your small group makes its way through the crowds and to the bar, grins finding themselves on all the Holland's faces.

You feel very out of place posing as a couple. instead of being able to hunt for your target and lure them away with your looks, you have to stay tagging along with Harrison the whole time, not being able to make any moves or it'll be to suspicious. While this whole thing is going against your natures, you oblige to your circumstance. Maybe because you're actually dating Harrison, or maybe it's because you're taking it on as a challenge. Whatever the reason, you take it with only a small fuss.

"Would you like a drink?" The bartender asks as you take a seat on one of the stools and turn it to face him, menu in hand.

"Blue Hawaii please." You request, the man behind the counter nodding before walking away to make the cocktail.

"Hello there." A man with long, jet black hair smirks from beside you causing you to turn the chair again to look at him.

"Hi." You reply, analyzing his features to try to find out if he's important or not and whether it's worth the effort to talk.

"You look stunning." He continues, a hand reaching out onto your thigh through the slit of your dress sending an uncomfortable chill up your spine. "Why don't we get out of here and go back to my car."

"Not unless you're wanting to come back to ours." Harrison says as he comes up next to you with a stern look on his face, placing his hand on the small of your back extinguishing the chills running through you and replacing it with warmth.

"Why do I need your permission to get my own pleasure?" The man hisses, fingers digging into your skin enough for you to know there will be a bruise later.

Harrison moves to make a response but you place a hand on his chest. "No, why does he? His pleasure is my pleasure, right?" You say before turning to the waiting man, leaving a hurt and confused Haz. You ignore the blondes expression and take the the black haired mans hand in your own, a shit eating smirk on his face. That is until you twist his arm and pin it behind his back, your lips just barely grazing his ear. "I'm not your toy. And I'd suggest you don't talk that way to my boyfriend." You push him away allowing him to run away without a look back while cradling his arm like it was his first born.

"I can handle myself." You smile, turning to face Harrison whos face was painted with surprise. "What, were you getting jealous?"

"Course not." He instantly replies, an arm snaking around your waist to pull you closer to him, "I just don't like seeing people have their hands on you when you obviously don't like it."

"Well I have bad news for you." You sigh, one of your hands finding itself on his chest. "Your hand is on me."

Harrison gives a small sigh of relief, a grin taking over his features, "Well you seem okay with it."

"Fortunate for you." You smile. "Also fortunate for us, we're posing for a couple."

"Lucky us." Repeats Harrison as you pull away from him, him plants a chaste kiss to your temple before walking towards Tom, Sam, and Harry with your drinks in hand, an arm lightly placed around your waist.

"You two are fitting into your role nicely." Tom comments as you stop in front of the group.

"Fuck yourself." You hiss with an unimpressed tone. "If it's to look more natural in this situation then 'm all for it. I already get looks being the only woman here."

"Noticed that. Speaking of looks, we've got an eye on the target. He's near the back right corner of the room." Harry informs everyone, straining his neck to look over the crowds in the dim room.

"What's our plan?" You ask whilst adjusting your dress and stealing a glance at the corner to see the man.

"We're going to wait til he's alone then lead him outside and bring him back with us." Tom answers. "Now, he's heading to the bathroom."

Everyone nods as if to confirm their next moves before Harry and Sam go to the left, Tom going straight, and you and Harrison going to the right. After making it to the entrance you use the back door while the other four make their way into the men's room. Another few minutes later they walk out with a man with an obvious beer belly and light brown hair, black eyes stricken with fear as you move to the waiting car.

-

"I don't care if you're on a low," you hiss, pacing back and forth in front of the bloodied man, your knuckles dusted in blue. "I want my money."

"I have it I just-" he starts before you stop him with a solid punch to the throat, cutting off his voice and causing him to go into another fit of coughs.

"There's no excuses. You borrowed Holland's and I money, you didn't give us money back." You continue, picking up your knife off of a small table. "So, your choice now is to either give me my money, or get the shit beaten out of you."

"I... Okay." He wheezes, head hanging low. "I'll give it back. Just let me go."

"That's not exactly how it goes, but I'm glad you obliged." You smirk before making the last stride to the chair, the warehouse filled with the mans screams of pain for the rest of the day.

"Hi." You smile as you walk into the nearly empty living room only containing Harrison, your hair wet from getting out of the shower that rid you of Leo's blood.

"Hi." He replies, pausing the television and turning to face you. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." You walk to the couch and quickly find your spot in his lap, his arms instantly wrapping around you to hold you against him. "What movie are we watching?"

"Unfriended." He answers, logging into Netflix and going to the search icon, peering over your shoulder to see the screen.

"Horror movie." You state. "By the way, where's everyone else?"

"Some family reunion." Harrison answers. "Left bout an hour ago."

"So we have the house to ourselves?"

"Yup."

"In that case..." You trail off before laying down, bringing Harrison with you so you're both laying on your sides, him behind you.

"What, are you scared?" Harrison laughs, arms tightening around you sending butterflies through your stomach and causing a smile to spread on your face.

"Course not." You say quickly. "You're just really warm and it's really cold."

"Yeah, okay."

He clicks the play button on the TV, the movie starting in a college classroom as you snuggle into Harrison ready to spend the next couple hours in comfort and peace.

You let out a small squeak and jump as a girl pops up on the screen, pushing your back into Harrison's front and burying your face into his arm.

"Not scared, huh?" He laughs.

"Shut up." You grumble, pulling his arms tighter around you with your fingers laced in his, goosebumps spreading up your own arms.

As the movie progresses, Harrison falls asleep shortly followed by you. But what neither of you realized is the Hollands walking in the door and the shit storm you were about to cause

[dracosollicitus]

Thank you for continuing the #80 prompt. I loved it! I hope you'll write more (hopefully, in the next one, they'll patch things up).

Ask and ye shall receive @raissapl 

(Part Three of my Damerey “Does He Know About the Baby” Angstfest)

Word count: ~3500

Prequel

Part One

Part Two

tagging:  @branlovesouat @greyone01 @roguecompanion1812 @dame-reylo-ve @dragonfodder44 @therebeccaw​ @warqueenfuriosa @melanoradrood (who either requested another part to this angstfest/listened and helped with my rambling about it)

(This is AngstCentral, y’all)

Rey spoke to Poe once more, a week after he discovered that she was pregnant.

She’d been avoiding him, most likely abusing her knowledge of the Force to do so, but he managed to time his arrival in the hangar perfectly with her departure from her shift in the mechanics bay. Rey was wiping her hands on a towel when Poe nearly fell flat on his face sprinting over to her. 

“Rey,” he managed to gasp. “Rey - can we - I need to -”

She figured there was no way to get out of it now, so she stared at him stonily, dropped the filthy towel blindly into a waiting basket, and crossed her arms over her chest, no longer caring if it highlighted her protruding stomach. She didn’t speak, didn’t indicate any interest in what he had to say; she merely stared at him. He gulped, and - if he hadn’t left her for four months, she’d actually be in danger of feeling sorry for him.

“Uh,” Poe looked surprised that she hadn’t hurled him through the air using the Force (she’d thought about it). “I just…I really need to talk to you. Explain some things, see how you were doing.”

“How I’m doing?” Rey repeated coolly.

“Yeah,” Poe nodded, looking somewhat relieved that she’d responded. The part of her that had never been hardened by the desert cooed in sympathy; she silenced it rapidly. “Yeah, I wanted to make sure you were okay, you know, and I wanted to see if you needed anything, or if I could do anything for you-”

“Why do you even care?” Rey demanded. “I suppose it’s because it’s your kid, or whatever.” He flinched at the way she threw his past phrasing back in his face.

“That’s part of it,” Poe said, rubbing the back of his neck in the way Rey used to find endearing (the way she used to love), but now the sight of it only made her gut hurt like she’d drunk too much water, too fast, coming back in from the desert heat. “But it’s also because you’re my girl. Aren’t you?”

Rey stared at him in shock. They’d slept together every day - sometimes two or three (the record was five) times a day - for a whole month before he left, but never had he described her as a girlfriend or even a lover. But now he - they were - No.

“Is that how you treat ‘your girls’?” Rey asked, angry that her voice sounded more weak that infuriated. 

Poe recoiled as if she’d physically struck him. “What?” He asked. “What - no, Rey, you were the only one, I didn’t even look at another person after we- even after I met you-”

“That’s not what I meant,” she interrupted him, and he looked at her with what looked like a fire burning in his eyes, a fire that threatened to burn them both. 

“Then what did you-”

“I asked you to stay,” Rey said, hating the tears burning at the back of her eyes. Poe looked tormented, opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off with a tired hand. “I asked you to stay, Poe, and you left anyway. You held me in your arms and promised me you’d always be there for me, and then you kriffing left me. I’m sorry that I find your promise now to be just as untrustworthy as the one you made then.” 

She walked past him, and noticed he was frozen to the spot. A small, vindictive part of her, the part that was still deeply interested in that cave on Ahch-To, thrilled in the knowledge that maybe she’d hurt him even a tenth of how much he’d hurt her. 

The rest of her begged and sobbed to run back to him, to let him kiss her and hold her the way he seemed so desperate to do; but, Rey had made her mind up. She wouldn’t (couldn’t) be left behind again. And she certainly wouldn’t put her child through that.

Rey from Jakku knew all too well what it cost a child to watch someone they loved fly away.

Rey was kicking the wall in her bunk while lying flat on her back. If she owned a limmie ball, maybe she’d throw that instead, but she enjoyed the rhythmic thunk thunk thunk of her booted foot against the durasteel. 

She hadn’t talked to Poe in two days since she walked away from him in the hangar; but she had caught a reproachful look from Finn when he’d escorted Poe out of the mess yesterday. Rey’s heart had frozen solid in her chest when she saw the red rimming Poe’s eyes, when she saw how tired and lined his face was. She knew she needed to go and patch things up with Poe; but she was still too heartsick herself to try. 

This contemplation had taken the better part of half an hour when her door hissed open, and a droid’s chirp reached her ears. 

“Hey, Beebee,” Rey called, not looking away from the ceiling. “I’m not feeling much like company.”

[You and Master-Poe have fought for over a week] BB-8 noted, wheeling over to her. The doors hissed shut a moment later, and Beebee whirled quietly to itself for a moment while Rey continued to scowl upwards. [He has cried almost every night for ten days.] Rey was about to inform the droid that Master-Poe’s crying habits had little do with her, when it continued. [It is almost as dire as the nights during his most recent mission.]

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, flipping over to lie on her stomach before remembering that her stomach was roughly the size of BB-8 these days. She winced and sat upright, her back against the wall. 

[It will be easier if BB-8 shows you] the droid informed her, and Rey gestured for it to do so. 

With a noise suspiciously like a throat being cleared, BB-8 lifted a panel on the front of its interface. Poe Dameron’s voice flooded Rey’s room, and she winced from how much it soothed the ache in her stomach. 

“I wish I was back on base,” Poe was saying. “Gods, Sunshine, you have no idea how hard it was to leave you. Can’t believe it’s only been sixteen hours since I’ve seen you .Wish you could see the stars up here. I’ve been flying almost my whole life. Never seen anyone who looks at stars the way you do. 

“Beebee,” Rey said cautiously, leaning forward as much as she could. “What is this?” The droid didn’t answer, but merely fast-forward, causing a strange scrambled noise over the audiofile before it cleared up again:

“Day Two. Flew through the weirdest little moon today to refuel. They had these giant fruits, bigger than your head, Sunshine. I almost bought one to bring back to base for you, but then I remembered I wouldn’t be back for a few months, and it might not smell too good sitting in the back of my X-Wing. Shit.” There was the sound of heavy breathing for a moment, and when Poe started talking again, his voice was clogged with barely suppressed emotion. “I miss you so much, sweetheart. I haven’t slept since I left you. I don’t think I remember how to sleep without you lying next to me. Ignore me, just falling apart over here. You’d be way better at this mission than me. I don’t think you’d fall apart quite as fast. You’re much stronger than I am.”

“Beebee,” Rey stared down at the droid in realization. “Did your master record these on purpose?”

[BB-8 always records its surroundings,] the droid said smugly. [Master-Poe is speaking to himself, but he referred to you, Savior-Rey, as “Sunshine,” which is his particular coded designation for you in one-on-one conversation, so BB-8 classified them in the database as messages intended for your consumption.]

“I don’t think Poe would want you to-”

Day Three, Poe sounds a lot shakier now. Flew through an electromagnetic storm. Almost died there. Oops. I’ve never been afraid of dying, so many people I loved died with a bravery and honor, and I always thought I’d be able to do the same. Came close a few times. But this time, all I could think was, you’re never going to see her again. And I’m not proud of this Sunshine, but that made me cry. Because I know you wanted me to stay, and I had to go, but I promised myself I’d come back to you. There’s so much I need to tell you. Like the fact that I - I -” 

The message cut off before he could say anything else, and Rey beckoned BB-8 to come closer. She rested her hand on its dome while she listened to the messages, tears rolling down her face the farther along she got. 

The worst one came from two weeks before the end of his mission; it was the longest one, and she sobbed almost uncontrollably afterwards. 

“Did you ever think about us getting married? I wanted to ask you that every morning I woke up with you next to me. I always thought to myself, gods, what inspired my father to propose to my mother in the middle of an intergalactic crisis, lure her away to some random rock, build her a home, make a family with her, and then have to go right back to fighting? I never really got it - I respected it, sure, but I didn’t get it. But I woke up next to you that first morning, and I thought: Damn. Look at her. The whole galaxy spins around her, and she has no idea; she’s so damn important, and so damn perfect, and she chose me. 

Even if it was only for a second, and I never got to hold you again, there was this one shining moment of my life where I was the lucky guy you chose. And I wanted you to choose me again. And again. Because I knew I’d choose you every day, I’d choose to spend every day of my life with you if I could. So, I’d wake up every morning, after you’d chosen me again, and I’d consider kissing you on your cheek, or your cute little nose, or that one spot under your ear that if I could get just right, you squeaked like an Ewok - I’d think about kissing you awake to ask you, hey, Sunshine, do you ever think about us getting married? And you’d say something sensible like, kriff, Dameron, you haven’t even taken me on a proper date yet. And I’d say, fair enough, when are you free? Is now good? 

I miss you so much it hurts, Sunshine. Two more weeks now. Two weeks and I can hold you again. I think that’s the first thing I’m going to do when I get off this bird. I’m going to find you in the crowd - because yeah, there’s gonna be a crowd, after the pile of banthashit I went through to finish this mission - I’m going to jump down and run to you and kiss you until I’m blue in the face, and you’re making that face where you’re embarrassed but you don’t want anyone to know that you’re secretly also happy, and I’m gonna take you on a real, proper date, so when I give you this ring you aren’t going to ask me why I haven’t taken you on a real, proper date.

…Maybe I’ll take you back to my bunk first. Yeah. I’ll probably do that first. But then. I’mma date the kriff outta you.

Rey covered her mouth with her hand, foolishly thinking she could somehow contain her grief in that way. 

“Play the last one,” she whispered to the attentive droid, wanting to skip forward to the end, to the last day of his mission. She couldn’t listen to ten more, but the potential for his optimism - before he’d gotten down from the X-Wing, before she’d blown him off, before she’d yelled at him and pushed him away - maybe that could salvage her spirits somewhat. “Please?”

BB-8 made an odd noise, and then briefly thought to itself. When the audio file started up, Rey frowned at Poe’s voice. He sounded distressed, not at all like he was coming back to base after a long journey.

“Hey, hey - Beebee-” His voice cracked, and Rey’s own breath caught with it. “You recordin’ this, buddy?” A faint beep from the droid in affirmation, and then, “Okay. So, I’m prob’ly gonna die in this war, yeah? Yeah. Uhm. So, in case I die, I just - gods. Rey, could you play this for him? Or her - I don’t want you thinkin’ - I don’t want them to think I don’t care ‘bout them either way. Just please, please play this for them. Can you - would you do that, for me? No matter how mad you are?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Rey said quickly, “Beebee, no I meant the last one from the mission not from the last few days-”

“Hey there, little one,” Poe sounded so, so sad, and Rey felt her heart being carved open from it. “Hey little - I guess not little Dameron. Didn’t exactly earn that. So, I’m Poe, your uh - well. Maybe not father. Fathers are…there. And I don’t want you thinkin’ I didn’t want to be there, it just - things were complicated. I … I really messed up, but I want you to know how badly I wanted to be there for you, and how much it hurt me that I wasn’t. I loved you from the second I knew you existed, and I hope you have the best life. I’m not around anymore, but uh - I’d like to think I’m part of the Force, and that I’ll love you and your mom until the galaxy doesn’t exist anymore. 

Let me tell you about your family, little one. For starters, your mother. She’s…I’m sure you know, but she’s the most amazing person in the galaxy, and I loved her so much. She’s a Jedi, and she’ll make sure you have the best life. No one loves like she does. So be nice to her. No joyrides on speeders, no hijacking her ship. I did that to my own mama, and she chased me around Yavin 4 for an hour. 

Your grandmother’s name was Shara Bey. Your grandfather’s name was Kes Dameron. Kes might still be around when you get this, and if your mama lets you, you should go and visit him. He would love to meet you, and he’s a pretty fun person. He fought in the first war against the Empire, and Shara was a fighter pilot, and they were both heroes, just like your own mama. I bet you’re gonna be a fighter, little one. 

There was a banging on her door, but Rey couldn’t tear her attention away from Beebee. By this point, she was kneeling on the floor, one hand on its round body as she drank in every word, her other hand resting on her stomach. Tears rolled down her face as Poe finished the message with:

“I bet you’re spectacular. I love you, so, so much. And I hope that no matter what, you’re happy. I hope that you’re always happy. Gods, I wish I coulda met you.” 

The doors to her room hissed open halfway through the closing message, and Rey looked up as she heard a muttered curse.

Poe stood there, hair on end like he’d dragged his hand through it, eyes wild - he looked horrified. 

“No!” He shouted over the recording of himself wishing that the baby and Rey would be happy. “No, BB-8, you were not supposed to play that unless I -”

“Unless you died.” Rey whispered. She stood up on shaky legs, almost losing her balance. Poe jolted forward like he wanted to catch her but then thought better of it. He remained a foot inside the doorway. “Poe, why didn’t you-”

“I’m sorry,” Poe said hastily. “I’m sorry he bothered you. He’s going now-” and Poe pointed aggressively at the door while glowering down at his droid. “And he won’t bother you again. Right, Beebee?” 

The droid rolled forward shame-facedly, and cooed something too quiet for Rey to hear up at Poe. Poe’s face softened. “I know, buddy,” he whispered back. If she wasn’t Force-sensitive, she doubted she would have picked up on Poe’s quiet response. “I miss her, too. But that’s not how we get her to talk to me again.”

Beebee rolled out the door, and Poe smiled sadly at Rey, hands in his jacket pocket. “I’m really sorry,” he said again. “Gods, I don’t know what he was thinking.”

“He played your messages,” Rey blurted out. 

“Messages?” Poe blinked, not understanding. “I only recorded the one-”

“From your mission,” Rey clarified. “He played all the things you wanted to say to me.” Poe looked confused a moment longer before horrified understanding crept over his face. 

“No,” he said, hands coming out of his pockets to pull at his hair. “Oh, no, no, no, nonono-”

Rey walked over to him, and he lowered his hands to look at her warily. His eyes flitted down to her lightsaber, and a part of Rey twinged that things had soured between them so much that he’d thought her capable of using it on him. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice cracking. “I’m sorry Beebee played all those tapes, it was an invasion of privacy, but - I wouldn’t have known otherwise.”

“Known what?” Poe laughed, a self-deprecating grin on his face. “How pathetic I am?”

“No,” Rey said, stopping only six inches away from him. It was the closest they’d been physically in over four months. “I wouldn’t have known you missed me as much as I missed you.” Poe looked startled, but she kept going, wanting to level the field between them. “I wouldn’t have known how much you cared about me, even before you knew I was pregnant, and I wouldn’t have known that you didn’t want to leave. And, Poe?”

He looked her with less trepidation and more hope, and it made her heart beat for what felt like the first time in months. 

“I did think about marrying you,” she whispered. “I thought about it when I saw you helping cadets even when you were bone-tired, I thought about it when you were half-awake and stumbling around before you got your cup of caf. I thought about marrying you that time you got food poisoning and spent all night in the ‘fresher vomiting your guts out, and you were so determined to make me not worry that you kept telling horrible, horrible jokes.”

“Oh.” Poe blinked, and settled on the single syllable in response to her confession. “Oh.”

“Can I kiss you?” Rey asked, worried that he’d refuse her. “I’ve wanted to since the second you left, but I’ve been so angry, and I wasted so much time, and-”

Poe reached out to cup her jaw with one hand, the other pulling her in at the small of her back until she was flush against him. His mouth was warm on hers, and the kiss was slow and languid and felt every bit like she was coming home. His stubble scratched at the corners of her mouth and her cheeks as much as it ever did, and he tasted faintly of caf and ration bread, and Rey hummed into the kiss, feeling something unfurl inside her chest. 

Poe’s large hand came around from her back to her stomach, where he rested his hand almost reverently over her abdomen. The kiss became a series of shorter, less deep but no less passionate kisses, and Poe eventually pulled away to rest his forehead against hers and gaze down at where his hand was placed. 

Rey covered her hand with his. “That’s your papa,” she whispered to the life she was growing. “Say hi, little one.” As if listening to her, a light kick answered her request. It wasn’t uncommon, but it was the first time she’d shared it with someone else, and Rey found herself crying at the shaky intake of breath from Poe. 

“Oh gods,” he groaned, his thumb lightly stroking back and forth over her stomach. “That’s -”

“That’s our baby,” Rey confirmed. “And he and I both want you to know that your message, while sweet, was unnecessary because you are forbidden from dying, Poe Dameron. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you, ma’am,” Poe chuckled. There was a pause, and Rey smirked into it, hearing Poe’s next question before he said it.

“He?!” 

[itoshit]

I think I've never been that ready to break some skulls before. I took more weapons than usual, having two on my hips, two others on my thighs and finally, two again in my shoulder straps. I've never been a huge fan of knives, but still got one joining the strap on my leg.

Ran and Rindou were ready, Ran still had his unfamous baton. The others, Kakucho, Koko, Sanzu and Akashi, had guns like I did, ready to pull them out if needed.

Looking over Dante and his men, I noticed the same thing. But one of them looked particularly heavily armed.

Hey Dante, he's your sniper isn't he?

Yeah, we always bring one with us, someone who could change the course of our lives from afar. Also Manjiro, if I can call you that?

Nodding, I got inside the van, him sitting by my side.

Perfecto then. La Cosa Nostra bases its values and morals on their allies. Back in Osaka, I didn't intend to kill you nor severely hurt you. I hope it didn't bring too many inconveniences yeah?

Nothing I'm not used to. But I appreciate your help and concern though

Did you change your hair for your girl?

Cocking an eyebrow at him, I stayed silent.

My girl?

She is, isn't it? Look, I wanted to talk to you last time but I needed to check your strength before. We have minutes ahead so listen to me. In our family (note: the term family refers to the mafia here), women play an important role, and I'm not talking about their pussy. In La Cosa Nostra, we're not ashamed of parading with our girls, our wives. Some of us even have children, like me. I don't understand since when being with a woman in the underground scene made you look weak. Women give you strength, something to fight for. I don't know you very much, but I know how to spot an enamoured man. You're deep into it Manjiro. We have nothing but genuine intentions with Bonten, and we want our allies to be healthy and happy. If I could give you a piece of advice, when your girl will be freed, and I'm saying your girl because she's not a bitch or an animal, tell her how you feel. Life is short as the falling of snow, you could die tomorrow. Don't live with regrets buddy, that's the worst, trust me. Cherish the moments you've with her alright?

After his monologue, Dante smiled cheekily at me, patting my thigh. He wasn't wrong, I knew that. I knew that I'd feelings for Vee, but I was afraid she didn't. I let her enter my life and warm my heart of stone, and it could seem selfish but I didn't want to let her go, never.

You don't have to he ashamed of having feelings for a woman, or a man if that mattered. Partners influence our decisions on a daily basis, and without women in La Cosa Nostra, let me tell you, it would be a mess. They keep us on tracks, scold us when needed. My wife, showing me his ring right after, is my everything. She keeps me sane, Manjiro.

My men were in the other cars and only Dante and I, except our driver, were here.

I don't want to bring her in this life, she doesn't need more-

Sorry to break it to you buddy, but she's already deep enough. Her face is all over the news, you must have seen that yeah? Nodding at him, I kept my gaze on the window.

Then you know, the best thing you can do now is protect her from your world, by staying by her side. That way, these events won't occur ever again. The Yamaguchi-gumi is pulling a nasty move right now. Ones of our few rules are; never look at friends wives; respect wives. The Yamaguchi-gumi disregarded all of them.

Venus isn't my wife.

But you want her to be yours don't you?

Silence settling between us, I tried to imagine myself with her, having a future together.

Do you see a future with her ?

... yes

Here you go. When she'll be saved, you'll have to present her to me, the kitten seems feisty enough to make you go crazy for her

Smiling a bit at his words, I took a decision. As soon as this shit is over, Vee will move in with me. Officially this time. And I won't prevent her from having her life, I'll give her the freedom she wants and needs.

My phone vibrating into my pocket, I took it out. Vee?

But what I heard after made my blood boil. She was screaming, begging me to come and save her. Eyes opened wide at the sound playing in the car, I gripped the phone tightlty, breaking it in the process. Gritting my teeth, I lowered my face down, nails tearing the skin of my palms open.

I'm gonna kill them all, I swear to god, these bastards will regret the day they were born.

Dante's hand on my shoulder, I turned to him.

We'll get them. No one touches our wives, remember? You even dyed your hair to please her. They'll pay for it, no worries Manjiro.

And that's precisely when we arrived. Opening the van's door, I was met with my executives. Ran and Sanzu had a wicked smile on their faces. These two will probably have fun.

Destroy them. I don't want any of them alive at the end of the day. I don't fucking care how you process, break their neck, pierce their eyes, rip their bodies apart or burn them to hell, I want blood. Understood?

And as I gave them my orders, they bowed.

Your wish is our command, boss.

-Mikey

I've changed the presentation, it's easier to understand that way 😌

it’s so nice!

The pain had me passing out, waking up only from the slaps my torturer, who so generously told me to call him Koda gave me. I’d wake up, see the handle of the knife sticking out of my bloody, trembling thigh, get woozy and faint.

This time when I woke up, I didn’t even get to follow the routine established between us because Koda was in my face, gripping my cheeks roughly. It hurt from all his prior roughness, his finger edging closely to the lip he had split. C’mon, Vee. You know I don’t want to hurt you. Just tell me what you know. I’ll even let you go.

I knew nothing, just like I told him every time he asked, but since he wanted a different reaction, I’d give it to him. Nodding my head, I watched his face slack into a grin as he let mine go, granting me free rein to speak and move my head. The first thing I did with it was cock my head far back and send it slamming into his own, head butting the shit out of him. The impact made my vision blur for a bit, but the sickening crack I heard made it all worth it.

Venus, I corrected, spitting blood onto his now-bleeding nose. I might have broken it. It’s Venus to you, you piece of shit.

You stupid bi— Gunshots. An entire slew of them. Natalie burst into the room, body slick with sweat, eyes wide and nervous.

They’re here! Bonten’s here! My heart leaped. Mikey? They found out about our hideout much earlier than we expected them to! The sound of rapid fire rounds echoed around us, each one sounding closer than the last. If they kept that up, they’d be in this room in no time. The thought of Mikey raining hell down on their skulls made me much happier than I thought it would. They deserved it. I hope they got it. My cackle, sudden and wheezy, startled both Nat and Koda.

I stared Natalie dead in my eyes as I calmed down. You should run, I advised her. She had endangered my life twice, and although I would probably have little say in what happens to her now—she’d burnt too many bridges; Mikey wouldn’t hesitate to put a hole in her skull— so the least I could give her was a head start. You might be able to get out of here if you run now, because if Mikey gets his hands on you… I don’t even allow myself the pleasure of blinking as I speak, wanting my words to resonate deeply with her. So much so that even if she survived, she’d see my face. He will kill you, and I won’t be able to stop him. And you know the worst part, Nat? I don’t think I’ll want to.

The fear in her eyes was palpable like it was that day in the hideout, but I had no sympathy left to offer her. I also could have told her what Koda told me, let her know she’d done this all in vain, but I didn’t, allowing her to walk out of the door and my life for what just might be the very last time.

So, Koda, I turned my head back to look at him pacing. What’s the move? You gonna run too?

Somebody else came flying through the room as I asked him, an underling of his perhaps, yelling the same question I had just asked him in more or less words and a much louder volume. They’re coming, Koda! We have to go!

A certain bang made even me jump. It sounded like it was just around the corner from us.

What’re you gonna do, Koda?

I’m gonna fucking kill you, he snarled, putting the cold nozzle of a gun he yanked from his pocket to my head.

I tried to hide my dread with fearlessness. I don’t mind that, you’ll be coming to keep me company wherever I end up in five minutes. Maybe less.

I could hear the gun clicking as he turned off the safety, eyes level with me. I was about to die, and the funniest part was I wasn’t afraid. Perhaps I knew deep down that even if I did, I’d be avenged. That nobody who tortured me or sought to hurt me would leave this place with their lives or their limbs perfectly in tact. I don’t know what kind of person that made me, but with this gun to my brain, I don’t think I’d have much time to ponder it.

Mikey flashed in my head, my last memories with him. I didn’t even get to kiss him goodbye. I’d have to add that to my never ending list of regrets, not telling him how much he had come to mean to me in such a short time. That he mattered, that he wasn’t cursed. That he deserved to be happy.

A small smile came across my face as our memories played out in my mind. We had come so far, and I was proud of it. If it all came down to it, I lived an overall good life with some really big lows. Pretty alright for me.

Kill them, Manji, is the last wish I made to myself mentally, making sure it got out before my brain matter was splattered across the wall. Kill them all.

[alexiela73]

Hey I'm new and don't know if you'll still do requests for the s/o with prosthetic limbs, if you still will could you do it Pharah, 76, Tracer and Torbjörn? Sorry if you don't.

I do xD I’m sorry. I hope you forgive me but I don’t think I feel comfortable doing Torb’s. I think he’s a character I can only do friendship/parent-like behavior but don’t worry! he’s happily married ;) i’m sure he’d be just as supportive as any of them.

Pharah

   The two of you were together before the accident

Between the two of you, you were both considered a rather elite fighting team

Pharah was all about the high ground attacks and you were more up close and personal

One day a mission went wrong and a bomb trap went off in a building Pharah had seen you enter but a minute ago

Instantly she had dropped from the sky, panic filling her as she yelled into her mic your name

  The building, or what was left of it, was crumbling

She’d found you beneath rubble, your limbs at odd angles. Lifting you, the two of you had your first retreat

You ended up going into intensive care in the hospital

Pharah didn’t leave your side once. She was so scared that she might lose you….

When the doctors told you that they couldn’t save most of your body, she was heart broken. Not because your body was most important to her: because she was afraid of how you might react when you woke up

   It was a few days before you woke up at all

  When you did, you were really groggy. Everything was a blur, but slowly the world came into focus

And the first thing your eyes locked on was Pharah

   Instantly relief filled you. She was okay. When the bomb had gone off, your first thought had been was what if she walked in and another went off too?

   “Your okay…” you breathed, instantly trying to reach for her…but you realized your hand wasn’t held out to her. It felt like it was….but it wasn’t….

You froze, and Pharah instantly moved to the bed, gently smoothing her hand through your hair.

“How….how much could they save?” you asked finally, swallowing.

   Pharah’s fingers tucked a strand behind your ear. “None of your limbs made it,” she says softly. “They’re just waiting for the new prosthetic limbs to get in.”

  For a moment you said nothing, as your mind raced around in a panic in your head. “I…oh….” you whispered, before you focused on one thought in particular.

Eyes meeting hers, you swallowed hard. “Pharah…Prosthetic limbs don’t bother you, do they?” you asked, nervous.

Pharah stared down at you, before her eyes welled with tears and she tried to blink them back. “Y/n, you idiot,” she whispers. “Of course they don’t. This doesn’t change how I feel about you. Its us, till the end.

   Breathing in and out, you slowly nodded. If Pharah was unhurt, and wouldn’t leave you with this obvious change, then…

“Its us,” you agreed, as Pharah leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Till the end.”

Soldier 76

   You two have been married for a long, happy 9 years

  The two of you met before Soldier reunited with Ana

Now you usually stay Overwatch, helping Mercy take care of them all

   Your not a fighter, more of a lover

  Although Soldier would have agree with that, he had to admit you didn’t have a mean bone in your body and he loved you for it

You rarely go on missions with them, just because of how dangerous it is

  After 9 years, Soldier found you unconscious on the floor in the kitchen

Instantly you were in Mercy’s medical room, with Soldier being forced to wait outside for what seemed like forever

Finally, Mercy allowed him in, but only after you’d woken up

You sat there in the bed, watching him with a rather gentle look on your face

Soldier swallowed hard. You looked so small in the medical bed…

“Hey,” he said quietly, coming and sitting on the edge of the bed and taking your hand in his. “How…how do you feel?”

For a moment you watched him, tracing your fingers across his hand. It had a faded scars and the fingers were rough with calluses. Your husband was such a hard worker, you though. He always tried his best…

“I feel good,” you said after a moment, giving him a soft smile.

Soldier realized that that smile…wasn’t good. It meant that something was wrong, something you had easily come to terms with.

“Baby…I..Apparently I have a disease,” you said slowly, reaching up to brush your hand across his cheek.

“Apparently I’ve had it for a long time, but the symptoms don’t show up for years sometimes. My…my body is dying. The tissues and nerves are dying. My limbs will be the first to go…I already can’t wiggle my toes or feel below my knees. And I’ll get faint or dizzy spells,” you say gently.

Soldier’s heart broke in his chest. His love for you was endless, and your pain was his. But he knew that you’d try to hide your feelings, as not to upset him

“Y/n…” he said softly.

“Mercy says there’s treatment, but…it’ll only prolong my life by another eight years at best. At worst, I could die as early as next year,” you continued, watching the stunned look on his face. It hurt you just as much. But you couldn’t cry, you had to stay-

Pulling you tight in his arms, Soldier stroked his fingers through your hair tenderly. “Don’t,” Soldier whispers. “Don’t pretend you don’t care. Its my job to be strong for you, not the other way around.”

You felt yourself freeze, your heart beating wildly. The gentle feeling of his hand in your hair soothed you a bit as you let out a shuddering breath.

“My health is just going to decline, Jack-” you whispered.

“I don’t care,” he said raggedly. “I love you. With everything I have. Eight years, one year, five minutes….every second is worth being with you, even if we know the outcome. I love you, y/n, and by your side is where i will remain. So don’t give me some kind of bullshit about how you don’t want me to see,” he whispers into your ear, cradling you to him.

That was what broke you though. You didn’t want him to see. But even more selfish was the fact that you didn’t want to die alone. You didn’t want to never see him again. You didn’t want to leave him.

The tears spilled over and you clutched him, pressing your face into his chest. It was amazing how so much could change in five minutes….One moment you thought you had a lifetime and the next it was so much shorter…

“We’re in this together,” Jack whispered, rocking you gently. He knew he could never and would never want to leave you. He’d be there till your last breath and longer.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, shaking against him as you let your emotions take you.

Jack just held you the rest of the night, humming the song the two of you had danced to at your wedding.

Mercy stood outside, tears spilling down her own cheeks. She wished she could have saved you.

Tracer

The two of you fell in love after

Every year Tracer likes to take a small vacation from Overwatch and go to England to compete in the track and field there. There’s a contest every year for the fastest runner

She competes, not using her device in any way

After all, Tracer hates cheating

She first saw you when you were getting ready to compete. You were stretching over at the far side, wearing shorts and t-shirt. Her first thought was you were incredibly attractive

Lena’s second thought was that she wanted to know your name. Unable to help herself, she’d begun toward you and then noticed you were talking to some people there

You looked mildly irritated, hands on your hips, as four people stood there. As Tracer got closer, she could hear them more clearly, though honestly she was halfway through the crowd. Everyone could hear them

“That’s cheating, mate. Omnic’s aren’t allowed to participate,” one sneered, to her shock. What on earth?

“Ya, why don’t ya go back to the scrap yard?” another laughed.

That’s when you noticed the glimmer of metal and realized you had one prosthetic leg and two prosthetic arms. But why did that matter, she thought?

“What’s going on here?” Tracer said cheerfully, bouncing up beside you. Her eyes were like daggers on the men.

“Nothing,” you muttered, wondering if the pretty woman was going to make fun of you too. You used to run all the time till an accident took it away. But these prosthetic limbs allowed for you to continue your dream…and they enhanced you as much as normal limbs.

“This bag o’bolts wants to compete!” snickered one.

“So? Its open to the public. What does it matter?” Tracer demanded, to both their and your surprise.

One sputtered a bit. “Its cheating! Look at that!” they said and pointed at his leg.

Tracer looked down at the leg and then up at the men with a challenge. “I see. Having a prosthetic isn’t cheating, nor is it a choice. So bug off,” she said seriously, and glared when they looked like they were going to protest. “Before you find you need a prosthetic too.”

The men glanced at each other. The lady was small and slim but there was something about her that was slightly scary. After a moment they headed off, getting ready for the race.

Turning, you scowled adorably, cheeks pink. “You didn’t have to do that,” you muttered.

Raising an eyebrow, Lena let out the prettiest laugh you’d ever heard. “No, but I wanted to. I’m Lena, by the way,” she said, winking at you. “And since I saved you, you can repay me by taking me out to lunch later?”

“I thought heroes saved others to be nice?” you said, flustered. Why was this woman flirting with you? Did she not see the limbs?

Tracer sticks out her tongue at you playfully. “I guess I’m not your typical hero, love.”

“You…do see the prosthetics, right?” you asked hesitantly, wondering if she was blind.

Tracer blinked in surprise. “Of course I do. They’re very nice. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow at Ariel’s Diner at 1pm,” she said with a wink, leaning up and sneaking a kiss on the cheek.

Face burning hot, you rubbed your cheek in awe as she walked off. She liked you? Even with these hunks of metal?

The two of you ended up competing. Lena won, to your happiness, and you came in third. And the next day, you surprised yourself by going to the diner. It was that smile that captivated you…

And there it was, beaming at you from a table

The two of you began going steady and never once did she make you feel inferior or less then your true worth