#because he isn't sure they understand why he was so hurt by their actions

[emberunderscore]

guys im going crazy with the edits over here (im sure this has been done with this song before but idc i wanted to)

also guys im going to include the rambling in the actual edit post this time because i actually cannot contain myself . (i went on and on for this one i had a lot of thoughts )

OK BIG ONE COOL ONE WHEN IT SAYS "I'm a worthless human being" there is an overlay during the word "worthless" of the prison scene and the word worthless is layed over sherbert's forehead, think of it like the word worthless and failure going hand in hand because icarus doesn't belive they are worth anything if they are not useful and they cannot be useful if theyre a failure which they wholeheartedly believe they are THATS IT THATS MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EDIT (not really but shshshshs)

ok back to being in order

"I had left you" and "I forgave you" being right next to each other is SO PERFECT because that part is referencing the cave obviously and immediately after centross dies icarus is like 'get the fuck away from me why did you do that, holy shit you were gonna kill me' and then he tells them he can bring centross back and they immediately forgive him (and its not rlly great editing wise cause obviously theres not much contrast between the clips but the sacrifices we make are very small)

"I forgot you" this line is kinda hard to understand how ive coded it cause centross is on the screen so it kinda makes it seems like im saying they forgot centross but NO! they forgot about fable, they were so focused on bringing centross back that they completely lost sight of fable and his actions and how that hurt everyone around them

then the "said you loved me" I LOVE PUTTING VOICELINES IN EDITS CHAT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH. i love when the words and they go together and theyre similar and i go crazy . im knawing at the bars of my enclosure

(i was going to put a voicline of fable's 'you will not survive' from cathedral of war in this part, but only chose not too cause it made the audio too chaotic but its still the clip from when he said that so just KNOW) i really love the "said you'd kill me" part. it just looks really cool to me, please appreciate my work thank you goodnight <3

THE WHOLE NEXT PART. THE BEAT DROP IF YOU WILL.

the text is all shaky, the way ive always imagined this part of the song in my brain is like full mental breakdown, hands pulling at hair hitting at your head . theres something inside of you and you want it OUT and you will hurt yourself to makes that happen . so thats kind of the vibe i wanted to portray, however . im not that skilled and capcut only has so many free text effects so . we make do. i also couldn't put that effect on all the text because for it to look right i couldn't use an 'in' animation for the text so having all of it just appear looked kind of weird so i had to comprimise a little

also the font is called "honest" which . if you know me i love putting subliminal messaging in my font usage when i can which i managed to do a couple times in this edit actually. the font is very jagged which fits for the idea of someone who's reaching their breaking point and all the rotation and bold and italics are all just thrown around there. making em all look interesting . for *flavour*

the other font that's got a cool title and this one i actually only picked because of the title and that's "innocent" its used in a lot of frames like "you possessed me", "you controlled me" and "or he'll hurt me" all times, the word 'me' uses the innocent font, because with the song it sounds like icarus is trying to remove any of the blame from themself, it was fable's fault because he manipulated me i didn't do anything wrong. so they see themself as 'innocent' which is also why that text is yellow cause its about icarus. i wouldn't have used that font if not for the title icl. but it also makes the times when that font isn't used all the more interesting, this can be seen most notably in "said you'd kill me", and both of the times in the "he's still speaking, speaking for me" parts , and i will let you cook on that cause not everything needs to be explained in great detail as much as id like to do that

most of the fonts at this one were just me throwing shit at a wall and seeing what fit the vibe ill be so fr, i knew i wanted a lot of variation cause its a chaotic sounding song and the colours also have very little thought when it comes to the difference between white/yellow/red for the most part . green is for fable and purple is just whatever the fuck i felt like .

final thing i'm going to say when it goes "i'm a [worthless human being" there is no text on that part and i just want it to be known on the record that it wasn't an accident and it was an aethetic choice and i can't come up with a bullshit important reason for why there's no text on the screen for that SINGLE PART and honestly it just looked so shit with text there but it also looks so out of place with it being the only part but im sure many of you didn't even notice there wasnt text there before i pointed it out so . i can also point out all the slightly off timings for you if you wanna see my creation through my critical self-loathing eyes /silly

[nixie-deangel]

Hmmm I’m gonna be boring with the same emojis again but these are the ones that most intrigued me 💐🍼💔

nothing wrong with boring! <3

💐 serial killer Jake - hangster

“Are you ever going to tell me how you can afford to drop the sort of money on me like you do?” Bradley asks as he snuggles into Jake’s side, tucking his head into the other man’s neck.  He feels, more than sees or hears, Jake humming in response to his question before he answers in a quiet voice.  “No real secret there, honey,” he says, “my family comes from a long line of cattle ranchers and the oil industry. And while I don’t do much with either, I do get a percentage of it. Plus I do specialized contract work.”

🍼 non navy bradley/fighter pilot jake as parents - hangster

continuing from this ask!

He felt his heart clench at seeing the hurt in those lovely hazel eyes he loved so dearly, “Baby,” he whispers again, bringing Bradley’s face closer, so he could press their foreheads together. Moving his left hand around, he tangled his fingers into the curls at the back of Bradley’s head, while he kept his right cupping his cheek. “Figured it out eventually,” Bradley whispers wetly, “on why they did it. Doesn’t make it hurt any less though. That they chose to honor a dead woman’s wish, instead of a living boy’s dream.”

💔 icemav break up / icedad

"What the fuck did you expect me to do, Peter?" Tom spits out angrily, shoving the man back from entering his house. He follows out the door, so they're standing in his driveway. Though he knows Bradley isn't home, that he's at school and won't see anything, he can't let the man into his home. Into the only sanctuary his child has left. "Did you expect me to go along with it? To hurt our child because you both are so blinded by your grief you can't see what it's doing to Bradley?"

Make Nixie Write This Weekend!

(will be taking them all weekend btw!)

[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[dior-luxury]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐬 𝐀 𝐉𝐨𝐤𝐞

( ✧ ) ────── 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 . 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 - 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞𝐫 .

- [𝐜𝐡.] TOP6 . rin itoshi . karasu tabito . otoya eita . yukimiya kenyu . nagi seishiro . shidou ryusei - [𝐩:𝐬] subtle jealousy.

#Rin Itoshi

Rin doesn't have a good experience when it comes to telling people how he feels. And it's even more shocking that you managed to wow him enough for him to like you. He, himself, didn't want to admit that he liked you because he didn't want to feel weak. And he believes that if he shows emotion towards you, you'll end up finding him weird. Which is the opposite of what you'd prefer.

He'd try to push himself to talk to you at least once when he realized that he liked you. Whether that'd be a snarky remark of his, or a back-handed compliment. You can imagine his surprise when he finds out that you don't find him weird. Since he's used to everyone in his life hating him in some way.

So when one day, he gets enough courage to talk to you and ask if you want to go on a date, looking to the side as he tries to calm himself down and talk to you. To his surprise, you think he's joking.

He looks at you with semi-shocked eyes. Do you think he's joking? It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. He overthinks his actions and looks at you confused.

Joking? He surely definitely isn't joking. He's serious. Why else would he come out of his way to ask you something as important as a date? Rin just doesn't get it.

"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠? 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

He said confidently exaggerating 'like' heavily. He views your relationship with him seriously and wouldn't ever dream about being unserious with you.

#Karasu Tabito

It's not that hard for him to like someone. Just as long as you stand out to him. Which is very hard for anyone to do. At first, he didn't know how he felt about you, he liked talking to you but didn't understand why he thought about you 24/7. Until he realized that he liked you.

Suddenly whenever he talked to you he talked to you more and began to become more friendly around you, in a way. Karasu never really wanted to tell you that he liked you, fearing that he would mess up your guys' relationship. So instead he just kept his feelings aside.

But that's not what he wanted. Whenever he talked to you he felt like he had to tell you then and there that he liked you... but he couldn't. He just doesn't leave the thought of you being creeped out alone.

He compares himself to you and feels mediocre. Like he doesn't deserve to look at you. From the outside, he seems so confident.

When Karasu finally had the confidence it was when you and him were walking together. There was a long silence when he said he liked you. A long silence that made him regret his actions.

His eyes opened wide when you asked if he was making fun of you. Just like Rin, he values his relationships seriously, it would be a curse if he didn't. Luckily he quickly shot that thought of yours down.

"𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐚'𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰?"

#Otoya Eita

Otoya doesn't have a good history regarding feelings for people. Especially girls. One day he'll say that you guys are friends, the next day he'll act like you don't exist. He's used to brushing people off to the side whenever he feels like it.

He's known not to take relationships seriously. And would only keep talking to you if you're the one going for it. Or he'll recycle you, and move on to the next person. Claiming he only wants exciting people.

Otoya has done this his whole life, and he doesn't even recognize when he likes someone. Which led to him getting hurt, for a reason he doesn't understand. You're supposed to mean nothing to him. Why does he care about you?

He questions himself for a moment, but quickly ignores himself to go up and talk to you.

Otoya wouldn't try as much when it comes to someone he likes. But will sneak glances at you often, claiming that you're distracting him. And would blame you for making him fall for you.

But when he tells you that he likes you, he already knows what is going to happen. You're confused, taken aback, and hesitant. Not like he's not used to it. He finds people being skeptical around him whenever he says he likes them.

But in the back of his head, he knows that you mean something to him. And wants to have you to himself.

Yet, you are hesitant about how he truly feels about it. You don't want to be used, he knows that. And he says to himself that he'll never use you, and will try to make you see that.

"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞? 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬."

#Nagi Seishiro

He doesn't know why he likes you. Nagi just thinks of you as a normal person that he talks to sometimes. He stays the same around you as he does for other people, chill, and easygoing. But for you, he may sometimes look at you when you're talking to him.

Nagi often asks Reo to talk to you for him, for many different reasons why. However, he often claims that he's lazy and doesn't want the hassle to get up. And it's true, but he's just worried about how you'll think of him.

Nagi views you as out of his league and wants Reo to help him get with you. Often when he commands Reo to do stuff, like ask you what your favorite games are. He watches from afar watching you two talk.

He hopes that one day he'll end up talking to you, one-on-one, without feeling that small feeling of nervousness he gets. So why not get Reo to do all the talking?

But one day he was feeling different, and he wanted to talk to you himself. He built up the confidence and heard all of the conversations you and Reo had, which helped him get a feel of how you acted and your vibes.

Though he knew he wasn't as outgoing as him, he believed he could do this. He tucked his arm behind his head and said that he liked you, out loud confidently.

To his surprise, you thought he was joking. Nagi's eyes opened wide and his arm dropped a little. What did Reo say her? He said in his head. Wondering how he should go about this.

He took a deep breath and wondered how he should manage to convey how felt this time.

"𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭."

#Yukimiya Kenyu

Yukimiya understands his feelings very well, and others too. He often takes a calm approach when it comes to discussions about people's feelings. Just as long as they're not related to soccer. Yuki never really had a crush on someone besides when he was little.

But he did often look at people and realized how pretty they were, just like with you.

When Yukimiya first saw you he figured you were also a model just like him. He was so enamored by your appearance that he knew he had to talk to you.

He focused on every single detail about you, but never told you that because he didn't want to be creepy. But instead showed it through his long glances at your face.

Often complemented with a nice smile of his.

Yukimiya knows he likes you, and he accepts it. But it would be a long while till he gets the courage to say it, in fear of rejection. So he plans out a list of what to do before he breaks that ice and tells you his true feelings.

He takes a slow breath in and smiles as he tells you about his feelings. And how much he likes you... But it backfired for him. You weren't so used to people being this nice to you, getting you questioning.

Yukimiya realizes this and instead tries to show you through actions. Showing that he is serious and would never dream about faking it.

"𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲."

#Shidou Ryusei

Shidou has zero experience when it comes to having a crush. He's not experienced when it comes to liking someone besides how cool they are. He even surprised himself that he managed to find someone that he genuinely liked.

But he doesn't know what to do. Of course, he can go up to you and be all flirty with you, that's him without self-control, and speaking 'self-control', he has zero.

He "tries" to control himself somewhat, because he doesn't want to scare you too bad. So Shidou decides that he'll just 'try' and get along with you normally. He does have a lot of determination to make this work for you and him.

At first, he'll just come off as really "bold and cool" he says, and then slowly let you see how funny he is. Not only for him to get close to you, but to see if you guys would have chemistry.

And when he's finally fully comfortable with you, and sure that you guys could work together. He'll tell you he likes you.

Of course, it comes as a surprise for you, that he likes you. You can't help but feel it is just one of his jokes again. But little do you know he is serious about liking you.

His expression doesn't change when you question him on his feelings. He knew it was going to happen, Shidou instead just listens to you and hears you out.

But after your done questioning him, a large smirk comes on his face and he puts his face close to yours.

"𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮?"

[gffa]

When Sol said that he felt a connection to Osha, when he felt that she was meant to be his Padawan, Indara's response was to make sure he wasn't confusing what he wanted with what the Force wanted, and that's it, that's exactly it! Sol's statement isn't criticized because that kind of destiny doesn't exist--it pretty clearly does, sometimes people are meant to be Master and Padawan, they're drawn together by the Force, that's a thing the Force does in Star Wars, that's part of the worldbuilding that exists. It's criticized because Indara isn't sure that he's not bringing his own baggage to this, as that's something that often happens. The Force is not separate from a Jedi, it's not a tarot card that you read, it's a mystical energy Force that works based on your emotions, that's why the Jedi strive to be as selfless and careful and calm as they can, so that they're not putting their own feelings into the Force and saying that's what the Force wants. Who knows if Sol was right that the Force was pulling him towards Osha, I tend to think he was feeling something very genuine there, but that tragedy struck and it all went horribly wrong, dealing Osha a wound that she could never quite recover from. But also he did desperately want it and was reckless in going about it, he was unbalanced in a deeply understandable way, a way that he could just spend some time looking inward and rebalance, it's not like he was in grave danger, just a misstep that happens to any Jedi, it's normal, it happens, you recover and you find your footing again, that's what Jedi do. And that's why Jedi have to be so careful, because it's so easy to confuse what you want with what the Force is guiding you towards. It's so easy to center on your own anxieties and think the Force is warning you of a danger, when it's just your own thoughts. It's so easy to think this person was meant for you, because you care about them, and you move too fast and people get hurt. Which got me thinking about how often Masters choose the Padawan in canon, because that makes sense, too, with how hard it is to really center yourself and to be able to perceive what is what you want versus what the Force is guiding you towards. How a younger Jedi may not have the same amount of experience at that Perceiving Yourself that a Master or even a Knight would have. That Indara doesn't say Sol can't be drawn to Osha, the Force doesn't work that way, says a lot about how the Jedi and the Force work, but also the show really nailed that you have to be careful with that, it's not a magic crystal ball that you can read with impartiality no matter what mood you're in or what you wish would happen. But you need to understand yourself and what you want is something that's at the root of Jedi philosophy and action.

[dead-boys-club]

†  do you love me? : the fatui.

❥ scenario: their mute s/o asking if they love them. ❥ no triggers ❥ i don't have any beta readers - you get what you get. ❥ requested. [ my pending isn't updated, it's a liar. ]

you had thought over it for a while, curious as to where you actually stood with your lover, no.. partner? did they love you? as your curiosity grew to a sickening need for an answer, you decided to write your question down, small and neat; 'do you love me?' before approaching to hand the paper off.

❥ la signora.

as she took the paper from you, you'd be unable to read her expression, something that was awfully common. you couldn't help but become slightly anxious as a few moments of silence went by, giving her the time to process the question. you had learned that signora was a very complex someone, someone who was guarded and difficult to read, but you had grown to understand those things about her. when she finally looked to you, there was a warmth in her gave and she set the paper down, now folded in half. she wouldn't have much to say, a simple 'yes' being whispered, full of sincerity and adoration for you, even if her expression didn't match. she reached out to cup your cheeks, the touch tender with her gloved hands, and she leaned to press a kiss to your forehead. it wasn't easy for her to express how she felt but she would never allow you to live with doubts on how she felt for you.

❥ scaramouche.

unlike signora, scara's response would be heavily complicated. he would be reluctant to take the paper to begin with, his expression immediately showing discomfort and clear distaste. love had never been something that worked out for him very well, nor did he understand it as much as others - love was one of the reasons his life had been filled with betrayal and manipulation. he was wary of emotions to begin with but love held a different kind of weight - it was almost like the word alone left a bitter taste at the back of his throat. he would quickly narrow his sharp eyes, masking the vulnerability with agitation. 'what kind of stupid question is this?' it would have hurt you had their been any malice to his tone. even as he crumpled up the paper and tossed it away, you could see some type of softness slipping through the cracks. it would take time but after a few minutes, he'd glance to you, gaze softening slightly. 'i don't know,' he admitted, voice quiet as he decided to be honest, 'i don't know if that's something i'm capable of but.. i don't hate you, if that's what you're worried about.' for scara, that was the closest thing to a confession you'd be getting and you understood and accepted that. besides.. he was a lot better with his actions than his words, even if he didn't realize.

❥ childe.

childe is always happy to accept your notes, be it during full conversations, asking him about missions, and so forth. with that happy expectation, he took the paper, only to falter briefly before a warm smile formed. 'of course i do,' he answered without hesitation. he'd wave the little piece of paper between two fingers before setting it down, 'this is a silly question.' he wasn't being demeaning, just pointing out what he thought - hoped - was obvious to you. his arms would find their way around you, hugging you close to lift you off your feet with a soft chuckle. 'why would you even feel the need to ask that?' childe had always done everything in his power to make sure his love was open and honest, being hidden from no one because he never wanted you to doubt him. he would actually wonder if he'd done something wrong that lead you to asking but it would be put on the back burner for later. 'you're one of the most important people in my life,' he whispered as he set you down, pressing a kiss right below your ear, 'and, i'll always love you.'

❥ dottore.

you knew such a question could leave you with an aching heart but you'd prepared yourself before hand, knowing the day you agreed to be the doctor's lover, it may not be in such a manner. as he took the paper from you, he read over it with an impassive expression, which you'd expected nothing less. minutes passed as he worked through your question. love was not something dottore considered valuable - emotions, in general, were considered a hindrance to him. love, most of all, was the worst there was. the paper was set down without an answer as he returned to his work, leaving you lost and hurt, despite knowing this would be the outcome. you began to turn on your heel to leave when he glanced to you. 'love is a trivial thing,' he said coldly, almost bitter. 'it's a distraction and a weakness.' you stopped yourself from frowning. contrasting his words, as you looked closely at him, you found something - a hint of conflict that told you there was more he wasn't willing to acknowledge. dottore never was one to answer things directly but his actions - his way of keeping you close, keeping you safe and granting you attention in ways no one else was allowed - that was enough, you decided.

❥ arlecchino.

she would take the paper from you and take no time in reading it, her expression calm. she isn't brought to emotional response easily - you were sure you'd never seen her flustered. she set the paper down with a thoughtful hum before looking at you, her gaze gentle. 'love isn't something i give easily or take lightly,' she answered, steady and serious, 'but if i didn't care for you deeply, you would not be here.' in another of situation or context, you'd have taken the words as a threat but instead, they calmed any frayed nerves. arle's way of showing how she feels is protective and pragmatic, something that doesn't rely on cheap words. she wouldn't give flowery words or pointless gestures - but she would make sure you felt valued in your relationship. 'yes, i do.' she finally admitted, her tone leaving no room for doubt, even as she turned away from you. 'you are mine, and i protect what's mine.'

❥ columbina.

immediately going off of your facial expression, she knew she didn't need to read the paper to know the type of question you had, a gentle, knowing smile forming. columbina is the most attuned to emotions, her own and others, especially yours. she would quickly be able to feel the vulnerability and doubt behind your written word. without hesitation, she collected your hand in her own, making sure to hold your gaze. 'yes,' she said easily, 'i love you more than words will ever be able to express.' columbina leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your cheek. 'you needn't doubt that,' she whispered, letting your hand go only to pull you into a hug, her eyes closing, 'i always will, beloved.' her love was soft, open and nurturing, a presence that never ceased and you almost felt guilty for doubting her. she had done her best to make sure you felt cherished and adored and she would continue to do so.

❥ pantalone.

he wouldn't question why you were suddenly handing him paper but he would be curious, eyes shining with interest as he read the question. panta is a man who sees emotions as secondary to his ambitions and goals, especially with his wealth and power. however, he wouldn't hesitate to admit that you, are different. this may be something that lead you to thinking you were more of a possession than a lover - he would be smart enough to figure out where the doubt blossomed from. folding the paper neatly, he set it down and let a thoughtful smile show, turning his attention to you. 'love, like any valuable asset, is not something i take lightly,' he began, head tilting slightly, 'but you, my dear.. are more precious than anything to me.' reaching out to you, his fingertips brushed over the apple of your cheek. 'yes,' he answered directly, 'i love you, and i will make sure you never doubt that again.' like the others, panta's love is often expressed through actions - keeping you comfortable and safe, your happiness being of utmost importance to him.

❥ il capitano.

he would take the paper without a second thought, reading the words slowly and feeling the weight of them. it would take him a moment to find how to answer, knowing if he was careless, it would bring you unnecessary hurt. love has never been something capitano was accustomed to, not when his life was outlined and defined by duty, loyalty and the cold fate of a soldier. he briefly wondered if love was something he could feel or understand. would he know if he was in love? after what seemed like an eternity, he would slowly set the paper down and look to you, speaking just as careful. 'love is a concept i have little experience with,' he began, his tone apologetic, 'i do care for you, deepy.. your wellbeing, your happiness. i want to keep you safe.' his answer would be straightforward, almost as though he was searching through his own words. he wished he could use the same pretty, poetic words he'd heard in passing, but that wasn't possible. 'if that is love,' he nodded slowly, 'then, yes, i do love you.' he wouldn't be as confident in those words as he wanted to be but he felt as thought it was as close to what you wanted to hear as he could get.

[anxious-witch]

I know, I know we talked about the forest scene with Monty, Edwin and the Cat King to death. But, but. Hear me out.

Edwin was ready to both forgive Monty and thank the Cat King right then and there if they didn't push him, aka crossed a line in the sand for him.

When the Cat King initially informs him of Monty's betrayal, this is Edwin's reaction:

He looks confused, he looks hurt. But he doesn't look angry. Not yet. When he says "Were you just pretending to be my friend" he sounds hurt, but when he sees how Monty is affected, he still looks oddly touched. Especially when Monty says: "At first, yes! Then...no."

I know we joke about Edwin being awful at reading people, but Monty is obviously distressed and Edwin reacts to it. Besides, Monty is his friend. He wants to believe it wasn't all a ploy. But then, Monty makes a fatal mistake and brings up Charles. Immediately, Edwin's expression falls and then it turns angry and says: "Even if it were true, you are a bloody crow!"

We see Edwin forgive Simon, his killer, the person who was responsible for sending him to Hell, in mere minutes, once he finds out why Simon did it. I don't believe for a second he wouldn't have forgiven Monty in a heartbeat if Monty properly explained himself, instead of falling back to his hurt feelings and in turn, trying to hurt Edwin the same way by bringing up Charles. Which is a shame, because they really could have used each other's help.

As for the Cat King, I think it's a very similar story too!

Immediately after Monty walks away, Edwin closes his eyes and says: "I am such an idiot." And the Cat King nods, but you can already see most of the anger Edwin held towards Monty dispersing.

When the Cat King stops him from leaving and says: "I came all the way into this ridiculous forest to save you, I think I am at least owed a thank you," Edwin doesn't seem mad. I'd even go as far as to describe his expression as soft surprise. I think he is thankful, in that moment. And why wouldn't he be? The Cat King did save him from a trap.

It's only when the Cat King brings up a second kiss, implying he should thank him by kissing him, does Edwin grow angry again.

Also, importantly, the way Edwin pushes the Cat King away is almost gentle. Bitchy, and pissed off, for sure, but also gentle. Like, if it was someone who I genuinely didn't want anwhere near me, I'd shove them away by the shoulders, and with much more force. And sure! Edwin isn't a type for violence, but c'mon. We know he is capable if pressed, as seen when Esther hurt Charles.

Edwin keeps his anger tightly locked, only letting it out through his words. He practically spits out "I am not your toy to yank around." But even so, the only tense action we see from his is the way he cocks his head and demingly looks thr Cat King up and down.

Only after the Cat King threatens him, does Edwin get up in his personal space and almost violently(by his standards) shows him the bracelet, saying "This is all that you are. Do you understand?"

My point is, if both the Cat King and Monty essentially told/showed Edwin their actions are somehow tied into his reciprocation of his feelings. Funnily, enough, I feel like if either of them didn't base this interaction on that, and instead rather connected with Edwin emotionally, they would have had a shot at getting exactly what they wanted that night. Monty, Edwin's forgivness and the Cat King, Edwin's thankfulness, perhaps even a sense that he owes him, next time they see each other.

Which is great! Because it shows us sm about the characters, their flaws, and their priorities! But yeah. Talking about shooting themselves in the foot.

I also think that, for all we joke around Edwin holding grudges, he is actually incredible in how quickly he forgives people, as soon as they show the skightest initative for change/goodwill. Part of me hopes he and Monty meet again, just so Edwin can understand his pov, the same way he understood Simon and thr Cat King's but alas. I suppose we'll see

[sp-ud]

And while I'm on my Mouthwashing analysis arc, I had some realizations about how I think Daisuke's character plays into the message Mouthwashing is trying to tell about the cycle of rape culture, inaction, and how workplace environments are a key part of why the cycle is in place.

So my realization started with me complaining about how people often go "If Daisuke had known what happened to Anya he would have-" because we don't truly know what he would have done. Then I realized, actually maybe that's the point of Daisuke in Mouthwashing.

What I mean by that is he's the youngest of the crew, not only that but he literally has no other real job experience. He's incredibly new to all of this, he doesn't know the culture and is looking at those around him, his superiors, for direction and guidance. He's a young adult who still has starry eyes and is trying his best to live up to the expectations everyone around him has even though he feels personally directionless and unsure where he wants to go in life.

Things I think a lot of Mouthwashing's audience can relate to those aspects of Daisuke, or at least significant parts of him. And I think that is the key to understanding Daisuke's purpose in a story like Mouthwashing, to be someone likeable that the audience can see themselves reflected in.

Bringing this back to how I think this plays into the message of Mouthwashing. I think the fact that we ultimately don't know what Daisuke would do if he learned that Jimmy raped Anya is important.

Because we can't 100% say that he would do anything. Because his actions within the story honestly indicate it could go either way in my opinion. Specifically what he does when Anya has locked herself in the medical room.

On one hand, we have the fact that despite him having a better relationship with Swansea and being unsure if drugging him is okay or not, he still goes with it as it's what Jimmy, the current acting captain, is saying to do. He questions it but he doesn't protest or take a different action. He deferred to the highest authority in the situation, even though he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, even though it involved tricking his mentor who he clearly looks up to more than he does Jimmy.

But on the other hand, we also see him directly going against what Swansea told him about not going near that vent because he could get hurt, for Anya's sake. Willing to ignore what he was instructed to do just to have a chance at saving Anya. And even after he was hurt he still kept going, he still pulled himself up and unlocked the door.

So, if Anya had told him, what would he have done? Would he have risked his own standing and possibly even his safety with the higher authority figures for her sake? For doing what's right? Or would he be scared? Perhaps see the others inaction and follow their example even if he felt it wasn't the right thing to do?

What would you have done? What will you do if a co-worker/friend confides in you that someone else you know, perhaps even a higher up, sexually assaulted them?

And that's why even though what prompted me thinking about Daisuke's role was me being annoyed at people who focus on "What Daisuke would have done if knew?", I now see it differently. As people reflecting what they hope they'd do if in a similar situation on to Daisuke, and I think that's the point of his character in Mouthwashing and why we aren't given an indication of a clear answer.

To have us acknowledge that no, in reality, it can be hard to do what's right. That sometimes we will play into these toxic and harmful cultures even if we know it's wrong. And sometimes we might do it without even realizing it.

But that doesn't make anyone a bad person. Because we do want to do what's right, we don't want to be compliant in this cycle anymore. And acknowledging that it will be hard isn't saying that we shouldn't even try, it's just acknowledging that it'll be hard.

Daisuke represents the hope that things can improve while not ignoring the uncertainty many people have if it's even possible for things to get better.

[whateveriwant]

Choice

Summary: Simon forces you to choose. Him, your husband… or the other man he found in your bed.

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: ANGST

A/N: Forgive me.

“Simon!” you gasp, bolting upright in bed.

There, darkening the doorway to your bedroom, stands your beloved husband. You thought you'd spotted something lurking in the shadows of your periphery, but rather than it being a mere figment of your imagination like you'd hoped, you've come to find out that's not at all the case.

Simon’s brows are knitted tightly together, the lines framing the sides of mouth deepening as he begins to scowl. “Fuckin’ knew it,” he grits out. “Knew you were a fuckin’ liar.” His eyes flit back and forth between you and the figure lying beside you in bed, and if looks could kill, you'd both be six feet under.

“Simon, no, wait–!” You're quick to shoo the other male from your bed even as your husband storms away. Jumping to your feet, you chase after him, tugging your shirt into place from where it had ridden up. Simon’s just reached the living room when you manage to catch up with him. “Simon, please just–”

“When will enough be enough?” he cuts you short as he whirls around to confront you. You've never seen such anger rippling from him before, and it makes you recoil, stopping dead in your tracks. “When's it gonna end, huh? You promised me you were gonna fuckin’ stop this.”

“I-I-I know I did, Simon,” your voice trembles under the weight of your shame.

He's right. After the last time, you’d told him that was it, that it would never happen again.

So much for keeping your promise.

“I'm– I'm so sorry,” you try to offer him, for whatever it may be worth.

Apparently, it's worth very little as he proceeds to scoff right in your face.

“You’re ‘sorry’?” His expression pinches to show how he takes offense to that apology. “That’s three times this month I've caught you. Three. Let alone how many other times I'm sure have been behind my back.”

Again, he’s right on the target. You’ve been dishonest with your husband, been deceiving him more times than you can even remember at this point. Though you're in no place to feel as if you're the one that's been hurt in this situation, you can't help how his biting words feel like daggers plunging right into your stomach.

Simon sighs and brings a hand up to rub his forehead, the self-soothing gesture doing nothing to soften the lines creasing his skin. After a while, he asks, “Why?” his voice much calmer than it was a moment ago. “Why d’you keep doin’ this? Lyin’? Sneakin’ around?”

When he drops his hand to look at you again, you can see how quickly his emotions have shifted from fury to sorrow. The sight of his grief almost wrenches your heart in two, and you swallow the lump in your throat, your own emotions threatening to spill forth and choke you.

“I… I don't know,” you tell him, yet another lie.

You know the truth behind your actions, the real reason you can't break this bad habit. It's because you're selfish; because you're spineless; because you're fucking weak.

Your answer, the unconvincing slop that is, isn't good enough for Simon, and his shoulders rise in a show of perplexity. “Am I not treatin’ you right? I've been withholdin’ from you? Is that it?”

You're shaking your head before he even finishes the inquiry. “No, Simon. It's nothing like that,” you say.

“Well then, explain it to me.” He tosses a hand into the air, the frustration in his tone palpable. “Because I'm tryin’ to understand what makes him so bloody special. What is it about him that makes you treat me like a fuckin’ afterthought?”

“I don't–!” you begin, the accusation immediately putting you on the defense. But then you pause and intake a deep breath, trying to rein yourself back in. The last thing you want is to strike a match against this highly combustible conversation. If ignited, this powder keg runs the risk of taking you both out with it.

You take another moment to collect yourself before releasing an audible exhale. “Yes, he means a lot to me–”

“Oh, well, I'm bloody well aware of that, thank you.”

You ignore the derisive comment as you continue, “–but you're my husband, Simon. At the end of the day, I always want you,” you emphasize. You can feel a stitch forming between your brows as they slowly pull together. “I know you're upset with me – and I understand, truly – but I… I-I just…” your voice trails off as you consider your next words.

You know what you want to say, what niggling thought you want to express. But you're not sure if voicing it aloud is the right move to take. You're trying to cool down the tension here, not potentially add fuel to the fire.

But as Simon prompts, “What?” you realize there's no backing out of it now.

You sigh. “I just think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion.”

The way your husband's eyes immediately widen tell you it was probably better to have kept your mouth shut.

“Blowin’ thi–?!” Simon blinks wildly in disbelief, his anger from earlier surging back tenfold. His voice is venomous as he spits, “I catch you lyin’ to me, catch you continuously goin’ behind my back.” He points an accusatory finger in the direction of your bedroom. “I catch you with that filthy shite in our bed–”

“Hey, don't call–”

“–see him lyin’ there, sleepin’ on my fuckin’ pillow, and you think I'm ‘blowin’ this out of proportion’?!” he's fully shouting now, his volume having risen alongside his fury. Simon lets out a dry chuckle that's entirely devoid of humor. “Do you even hear yourself? Do my feelings mean nothin’ to you anymore? Do you– Do you even really love me?” his voice peaks as a wave of despair washes over him.

“Wha–?” Now it's your turn to blink wildly as you're caught off guard by that last sentence. “Of– Of course I do, Simon! Of course.” How can he even ask you such a thing?

“You just love him more, then, right?” The question stings like a punch to the gut.

You shake your head vehemently, asserting, “No. No, of course not!” even as you feel a twinge of guilt pricking the base of your skull.

Just as you're slightly skeptical of your own words, so too is Simon, and he brushes you off with a, “Pssh, right.”

The heightened emotions of the last several minutes persist even as you and your husband lapse into a tense silence.

As you stand there, you watch as Simon begins to harshly run both hands through his hair, not sure what you should say – if there's anything to say in this moment. Though you and he have had this same argument more times than you'd like to admit, something about this time felt different to you, felt like there were higher stakes in the mix. And as you reflect on the quarrel, you can't help how one line in particular sticks out in your mind. ‘You just love him more, then, right?’ he'd accused, bluntly, bitterly.

The idea is ridiculous to you, loving someone else more than your own husband. It sounds like something only a fool could believe.

But if that's the case, why did Simon say it so assuredly?

And why does the thought of it make your stomach clench like there could be some truth behind the claim?

After another few moments of him tugging at his roots, Simon releases a billowy breath. He briefly closes his eyes and shakes his head to himself, before dropping his hands back down by his sides.

“I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,” his voice sounds as exhausted as his body looks. As he peels his lids open to once more lock with your gaze, you feel your own eyes narrowing in your confusion.

“What do you mean?” you ask, voice quiet, timid.

“I mean you need to choose,” he tells you. “Me or him.”

That statement has you balking, the cords that hinge your jaw shut practically snapping. “Si, you– you're not serious.” This has to be some kind of sick joke, right?

“I am.” He nods resolutely. “I can't keep doin’ this – goin’ back and forth with you, wonderin’ if you're really all here with me or not,” he says, frowning. “So you need to choose. Right now. Me… or him.”

It's like you've just witnessed your worst fears materialize before you. Simon, your loving husband, has just asked you to do something that was once completely inconceivable to you. He's asked you to make a world-altering choice: pick between him and someone else.

The decision should be easy – should be obvious – and yet, you find yourself frozen, unable to speak the words you know you should say.

Simon is your husband, the first and greatest love of your life. But this other man he's making you choose between is… well, he's something else to you entirely.

When you're having a rough day and feel like the world is collapsing in around you, he's the first one you want to run to when you need a shoulder to cry on. And conversely, when you're feeling on top of the world, feeling so high up you could reach out and touch the clouds, he's the one you want to call so you can share your joy.

From the moment you met him, you knew he was one of a kind. He's got a smile that could rival a thousand suns, a kiss that could warm the coldest of nights, and the way he looks at you – like you hold the entirety of his universe in the palm of your hand – you think it could keep your heart beating long after it's chosen to stop.

He's your best friend, your other half of a whole, your personal ray of sunshine that cuts through all the gloomy rain. Simon is your husband, yes, that’s true. But this other man is your soulmate, and you know that however long you both shall live, you will love each other until you take your final breaths.

Tears start to bead in your eyes as the answer to your predicament reveals itself to you. And as Simon eventually pushes, “Well? Who's it gonna be?” you know there's only one thing you can tell him.

“Him,” you mutter, feeling the first tear spill over. “H-Him, Simon. Him. I choose… him.”

It's like the planet ceases to spin for a moment as your choice floats in the air like a ghost. At first, you think Simon must assume you're bluffing, what with the way he has no immediate reaction to your response. But as the silence stretches between you and you've yet to renounce your decision, you watch as the realization hits him like a slug to the chest.

Simon's face falls, the color zapping from his skin, and as his eyes start to shine with tears, you find your cheeks flooding with your own.

Simon blinks rapidly, his nostrils flaring as he tries to keep his emotions at bay. His brow furrows like he wants to say something – to argue something – but when he opens his mouth to speak, no words escape. He closes his mouth for a second but then opens it again soon after, once more nothing leaving him but the sound of his breath.

Open then shut, open then shut, he repeats the cycle over and over again, never once managing to get a word out. Finally, after several minutes of waging an internal battle with himself, Simon eventually lets out a low sigh of defeat.

“Then go,” he mutters, gaze falling to the floor. “Just… Just go.”

Your own heart shatters at seeing the pain you've caused your husband. But you can't take back what you've said now, and even if you could, you both know it'd be a lie.

Thus, all you can offer him is a whispered, “I'm sorry.” Any louder and your voice would break from the strain of your cries.

The room falls quiet again as you both let everything sink in. Simon, your husband, the man you'd promised forever to, just put his heart on the line, practically flayed himself open for you… and you didn't choose him.

“I'm sorry,” you say again because you don't know what else there is to do.

Simon waves your apology off with a dismissive hand, still refusing to meet your eye.

Over the next few moments, you continue to sob softly, the sounds of your sniffles puncturing the otherwise quiet house. After a while, you feel the faucet behind your eyes gradually slow to a trickle, and you wipe your face with the back of your shaky hands, swallowing down the last of your tears.

You take another minute or so to compose yourself, still standing before your forlorn husband. Once you feel somewhat well again, you clear your throat, then tip your head back to let out a short, high whistle.

Almost immediately, you hear the telltale noise of feet moving against the hardwood floor. Then, not a beat later, you see the man you'd just chosen rounding the corner to the living room.

“Come here, pup-pup. Come here,” you encourage Riley, your fourteen month old shepherd-mix, forward.

Like the good boy he is, Riley trots closer at your beckoning. But before he reaches you, he makes a pitstop by Simon, shoving his cold, wet nose into the man's empty palm.

Riley gives him a couple boops to the hand, politely asking him for pets. And Simon, for his part, despite still being obviously disgruntled, obliges and gives him a brief, dispassionate rub to the snout.

Having received his desired scritches, Riley then continues over to you, and you crouch down so you can meet him at his level.

“You wanna go cuddle with me some more? Yeah? Do you?” you pitch your voice up in that babyish way Simon pretends to hate.

Riley, however, absolutely loves it, and his tail wags back and forth in a way that says he's all too eager to agree.

“Okay, let's go!” You wave him after you as you take off down the hall.

As you both walk back to the bedroom you'd been occupying earlier, you hear Simon speaking behind you, muttering angrily to himself.

“Mangy fuckin’ mutt. Knew he was gonna be trouble,” he murmurs as he makes up a spot for himself on the couch. “First he steals my bed, then he steals my cuddles, next he'll be stealin’ my fuckin’ car…” his voice peters out the further away you walk.

“Don't mind your daddy. He's just being grumpy as usual,” you stage whisper to Riley as you approach the door to your bedroom.

Letting yourself inside, Riley quickly follows after. You shut the door and then waltz over to the bed, patting the empty space beside you as you settle in.

Swiftly, Riley jumps up to join you, taking the side normally reserved for your husband. He moseys all the way up the mattress until he reaches Simon's pillow, where he proceeds to lay down.

You roll onto your side and start to pet him, scratching that spot behind his ears you know he loves. As you do, you see that infectious smile of his slowly take shape, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth as his eyes drift closed.

The sight of him so content makes your own lips upturn into a smile. He is so sweet, so perfectly innocent, that it makes your heart want to burst inside your chest.

And as you continue to cuddle Riley, making little kissy noises in his ear, you know you made the right choice as you grin and ask him, “Who's my favorite boy?”

__________

A/N: April Fools! Hope I didn't break your heart too much lmao!

As always, I'd love to know what you thought! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!

[myerssimp21]

Batcave Meeting (YAN!Pt.3)

Romantic!Yandere!Batfam Part 3. Part 1, Part 2 here (context: Tim Drake purposefully got aphrodisiac'd when fighting Ivy and then went over to Darling's apartment to smash. This is a batfamily meeting about that and how to move forward.).

As you obliviously drifted to sleep, the live feed of you doing so was being projected onto a big screen in the BatCave while members joined together at a table, casually watching you as you yawned and readjusted against your pillow. The imposing man situated at the end of the table clasped his hands together, regarding the young men in front of him. Once everyone was seated, the imposing man began speaking to them, noticing how many of them had their eyes glued to the screen.

"We're going to discuss what happened the other day and plan for next week," he announced, and the pouty brunette who had had a frown on his face now crossed his arms.

"Allow me to explain it from my perspective first, Father," he said, sporting a moody expression, "You and Drake were unexpectedly out of commission during your patrol, which, while not typical, is understandable given our line of work."

His eyes flicker over to Tim and Jason, narrowing in contempt and disgust.

"Todd and Drake both know how important our duty to Gotham is," Damian continued while making eye contact with Jason, "But instead of prioritizing that, they let their impulses get the better of them. Drake especially for instigating the situation. Using Ivy's aphrodisiac to... indulge with our darling? It's selfish, reckless, and disrespectful."

"Damian, hold on a second," Jason interjected, "I had no idea about the aphrodisiac. It was my night off so I was sleeping in and missed Bruce's calls when he and Tim got doused in it. I only woke up because the audio feed from her apartment was turned up and I heard them together. I blew up Tim's phone and went over when he left because I was pissed, and I didn't realize that was why she couldn't get enough. I feel really bad about it now that I know."

Damian's expression softened subtly as he absorbed Jason's explanation. Despite his composed demeanor, the tension still lingered in his features.

"I appreciate your honesty, Todd," Damian conceded, his tone slightly softer, "It's still not acceptable that she was acting strangely and this was not analyzed, but I understand that the situation was...unconventional."

As Jason and Damian had a moment of newfound comradery, Tim finally spoke up, "I understand your frustrations, but you need to know that I researched Ivy's aphrodisiac extensively before I ever considered using it. I made sure it wouldn't have any adverse health effects on anybody and appropriately calculated the risks."

Damian's expression darkened further, his negative feelings towards Drake beginning to truly show. "This isn't just about general safety or the safety of some substance!" he exclaimed, "It's about respect and her consent. You had no right to manipulate her like that, whether or not it posed a physical risk."

"Come on, Damian," Tim retorted, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his voice. "She didn't find out about the aphrodisiac, did she? So what's the big deal? It's not like we hurt her or anything. She's fine, and she doesn't even know what happened. In fact, she likes us even more because I made a move for us. Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?"

Jason scoffed, his distaste in Tim at this point evident. "Seriously, Tim? You're gonna act like a douchebag just because she didn't find out? That's messed up, even for you."

"It's not just about the immediate consequences," Damian shot back, his voice angrier. "It's about the long-term impact on her. I bet you didn't even stop to consider how your actions could affect her, or how they could undermine the trust she has in us. And what about the ripple effect it could have on her relationships with all of us? He's playing with fire, Father, and he needs to be held accountable."

"Let's not overlook the bigger issue here," Tim said, his voice defensive, "What I did was perverted, I admit that. But let's not pretend that bugging and wiring her apartment is any less invasive. That's hardly consensual either."

"Don't you dare deflect the issue!" Damian's voice rose, and he was now yelling, "We implemented those measures for her safety, not for our own entertainment! It's a gross violation of her privacy, but at least we did it to protect her!"

"Oh? And having two separate cameras staring at her bed is going to what, protect her from bad dreams?"

"Dami, Tim, let's try to keep our cool here," Dick interjected gently, easing in to defuse the tension, "We're all on the same team, remember? We need to work together to figure this out."

Damian turned to Dick with a measured gaze, "I want to hear your perspective on this matter, Grayson."

Dick sighed, solemnly addressing Drake. “Tim, what you did wasn't just a mistake. It was a deliberate breach of trust. She relies on us to keep her safe and instead of focusing on that, you exploited her vulnerability.”

"Also," and Dick seemed more pained at this part, "You betrayed our trust. We all care about her and you influenced her desires for your own gain."

Tim sat in silence, his expression filled with shame as he began to realize the gravity of his actions. He knew he had acted irresponsibly, and the weight of their words hung heavy in the air. Jason and Dick exchanged silent glances, their disappointment evident in their expressions.

Damian took a deep centering breath before focusing his attention back on Tim.

"This isn't about whether she found out or not, Drake. If you still don't understand that, then we need to take more drastic measures to address and punish this behavior. Father, I appeal to you to implement anything you deem necessary to prevent such behavior in the future. We cannot allow such indecent actions against her to to be repeated."

Bruce, understanding the severity of the situation and having now heard everyone's perspective, nodded solemnly at Damian.

"Tim, in light of your actions, there are going to be some consequences," Bruce stated firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. "You need to schedule therapy with Dr. Thompkins to address the troubling attitude that led to this situation. While we have taken invasive measures to monitor her, as Damian pointed out, your actions went beyond that."

He paused, allowing the weight of his words to sink in before continuing. "Until you've attended and Dr. Thompkins deems it appropriate, you will be restricted from having any contact with _____."

Finally, Bruce's gaze softened slightly as he looked at both Damian and Tim. "And Tim, it's imperative that you and Damian eventually reconcile. We're a team, and we need to remain united in our goals and overall behavior. I expect both of you to work towards rebuilding your relationship for the sake of the team and our darling."

"Damian," Bruce addressed his son, "since Tim will no longer be able to have contact with her, I'm assigning you a new responsibility. You will substitute him as her school friend and be someone she can rely on for assistance with homework and company. I want you to pick a class of hers that sounds interesting to you and make sure you're there to support her. It's important that she has someone she can trust and rely on, especially now. It's an opportunity for you to show her that she can count on us."

As the meeting continued, Damian spoke up, "I'll join her art class. It will allow me to assist her with her assignments and ensure she receives the academic support she needs."

Bruce nodded in approval. "Good choice, Damian. Make sure to approach this responsibility with care and dedication."

Turning to Jason, Bruce's expression grew serious. "Jason, I need you to be especially understanding and supportive towards her. If she feels troubled or has any lingering negative thoughts about what happened, I expect you to be there for her."

"Of course, Bruce," Jason says, eyes fixated on the now-sleeping figure of their darling on the cameras, "I'll do whatever it takes."

Dick now spoke up, "Can we talk about introducing me as Jason's roommate?"

Bruce shook his head, "Not yet; I want to make sure Damian successfully integrates first. You can still frequent around her job but no more interactions than that."

"Except for as a vigilante?" Dick replies hopefully, and Bruce gives him a measured gaze similar to his son's.

"Yes, although I expect you to exercise patience and primarily work in Blüdhaven for now."

Damian cuts in, "And don't be like Drake and fabricate a reason for her to need you."

"Damian," Bruce says in a tired voice, "I've made myself clear."

Damian looks down with an expression like he's biting his tongue and contempt is bright in his eyes, "Sorry, Father."

With that, the meeting concluded, each member of the Batfamily knowing the roles they had to play in ensuring their darling's well-being and trust remained intact.

[feminine-obedient-alexandra]

First Times

For a long time, i didn't understand what Men find hot about this. A girl licking a toilet or other non-sexual but icky things. But nowadays i know that it isn't about sex, it is about dignity. A normal person wouldn't lick the toilet, but a dirty whore would. That means by licking the toilet the girl admits to being a dirty whore. She shows that she has no boundaries, that she will do anything for him. Often it does not even matter what it is she does, as long as she does it because he wants it (and would never do it without him demanding it). And the more repulsive the action is, the more turned on the Man gets.

By debasing ourselves, by lowering ourselves to toilet licking whores, we can attract male attention. Every girl can look pretty in a dress, it is not that difficult. And while it is also not technically difficult to lick a toilet, most girls get stopped by their pride and dignity. Only by being able to overcome those burdens, we can show Men that we are worth their time. We can show them that we don't act inside the normal morals, that we are not like all the other girls, we are better, more fun. Of course, toilet licking is here just an example, not every Man will be into this particular action, but what they are into is into pushing the boundaries of what is considered "normal".

In that sense, it is kind of a test. A test if we are ready to submit or if our pride and dignity have ruined us. When it comes to sex Men have a very dirty and creative mind. There will always be new things that they invent. Just look at the porn industry. One would assume that by now every kind of porn has already been shot but yet the industry is booming with more and more videos coming out each day. Men don't want to let their sex life get stale, they need new things. So while it might have been enough to show some ankle 150 years ago, today Men need more. They need dirty sluts. They need us to throw away the "morals" of society and go the extra mile. Where it once has been showing some ankle, then maybe some knee and now we are in a time where clean-shaven pubic hair and anal sex is expected.

It won't stop. It will keep going. Men will need more and more, we can't just sit back and relax on the basis that we once licked a toilet. No, Men need more and need it repeated. You cannot do things for the first time twice. Once you degraded yourself in a certain way, you can repeat it but you can never make happen for the first time again. With each repeat, it will get easier and more normal. That is why morals shift - there will always be people on the edge of what is "normal" and push the boundaries a little further. And after a while, it is not seen as weird anymore and a new normal gets created.

So keep in mind that with every degrading action, with every defiance of your pride and with every renouncing of your dignity, you shift what's normal a little bit further. And every first you give your Man just ingrains you in his brain. A Man will not remember the 10th blowjob he got, but he sure as hell still knows everything about the first time he came into a girl's mouth. Do your research and check the porn sites for new stuff. Look at what is trending, those are the videos Men are watching. Watching something is the first step. After they have seen plenty of it, they will want to experience it. So prepare by watching the same videos and get used to the ideas in porn. Over time even the most degrading actions can appear normal to us, use this to your advantage and always be one step ahead :)

Of course, this does not mean that this is all Men want. Men want a variety of things, they are quite complex beings. But porn, sex, and degradation go hand in hand. Every Man is influenced by them to some extent. Some more and some less. But it never hurts to dismantle any pride you might feel. Pride never helped anyone, it is poisonous. With dignity it is the same. No girl ever got her prince charming because she was the most dignified. No Man ever had an orgasm from respecting a girl.

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Hi I love your work! Would you have any sfw + nsfw relationship headcanons for So’lek x fem Sarentu Na’vi? I’m playing AFoP right now and I’m looking for crumbs in every in-game interaction lol

Pairing: So'lek/Fem!Sarentu!Reader

Taglist: @mooniequeen @avatar-lover @neteyamsyawntu

Warnings: nsfw (will be under the cut), minors dni

A/n: Using my favorite picture I ever took while playing AFoP 💕 Imagine that's how he looked when you walked into the room.

Also, my first headcanon request! Yay!

~~~~~~~~~

Sfw:

This man trusts you with his life and therefore trusts you are safe and loyal to him, no matter how far or how long you two are apart. (Doesn't mean he trusts Eetu to keep his overconfident hands to himself)

You're constantly traveling and never in one place for long, and while he used to be the same way, he finds himself staying in a chosen few places for long periods of time so that you can easily find him.

While he isn't much for PDA, he's still Na'vi, and he is going to grab your tail, both publicly and privately.

After losing his own clan, he understands exactly what you need to finally and properly mourn the loss of the Sarentu. He gives you what he wished he could've accepted from others after the loss of his people.

Doesn't like it when people tease him about your love. He takes your relationship very seriously and doesn't see the teasing as lighthearted. Priya learns quickly that he's more broody if your relationship comes up in the conversation.

And it's not like he's ashamed of your relationship. He's very proud of it, thank you very much. Even though he isn't into PDA, he still properly courts you in Na'vi tradition like you deserve. He wants you to experience Na'vi traditions since you never had them growing up.

He forces himself to appreciate the Sky People's communication devices because they ease his worries when he's able to talk to you from long distances. Yes, he trusts you to be safe, but he can't trust the rest of Pandora to do the same.

Takes his role as Big Brother to the rest of the Sarentu (Ri'nela, Nor, and Teylan) very seriously since you clearly trust him to guide your family when you're traveling and away from home.

Nsfw (minors dni):

I've said it once, and I'll say it again, this man has ZERO shame when he's eating you out. He's hungry, and he's messy. He's not gonna care how loud or disgusting it sounds.

I wouldn't be surprised if he spent a whole night with his mouth between your legs. I doubt this man has had any action during his life of solitude and path of revenge, so he's going to make up for lost time. If he's craving your taste, you better let him ravage you.

He's one of those lovers who refuses to pleasure himself unless it's to pleasure you, your care and well-being first and foremost in his mind. He doesn't care if it physically hurts not being able to cum, he's going to make sure you cum first. Please please PLEASE give him just as much attention because he deserves it. 🙏

When you two finally mate and form tsaheylu, he's supporting your weight as he takes you up against the nearest tree, being as gentle as physically possibly even with your gummy walls hugging his cock so deliciously. It takes a lot of his strength and willpower not to rail you right away. Since you're bonding for the first time, he wants it to be prolonged and intense. He wants to take his time.

Another reason why he sometimes refuses to cum is because believe it not, he doesn't have a breeding kink. At least not yet. He's not oblivious of the world around you, and even in his frenzied need to have every part of you, he remembers the war and how it's no place to start a family, no matter how much the both of you might want it.

He refuses to budge on the matter, and you need to respect that boundary. So you try other ways to get him to cum. Having him fuck you between the thighs was the best idea since the human invention of sliced bread. He. Loves. It. You have to hold onto his tail because it's always thrashing wildly behind him as he grinds his leaking cock into the tight space where you clench your thighs.

This man has been so deprived that when he cums, he cums a lot. A LOT. It's a shame none if that goes inside you 🫣 what a shame.

Growls. Enough said.

Actually, no, not enough said. Growls between your legs and the vibration puts toys to shame.

Mating bites 🫦 but they're mostly hidden between your thighs, under your loincloth. You definitely feel them as you walk around, and that is one of the little things in life between you and him that gets So'lek to smile.

~~~~~~~~~

I will happily write more about this!

RULES

REQUEST

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST

[sunnyship]

I am absolutely fascinated by whatever the hell is going on between Shanks and Buggy. Are they best friends? Are they mortal enemies? Estranged brothers? Divorced lovers?

I honestly don't know because I don't think they know. The fact the two of them have wildly different ideas of what their relationship is does not help. It also doesn't help that the more we learn about them, the more everything we know about them shifts.

When we're first introduced to them, it's separately and with the definite impression that Shanks is the good guy and Buggy is a bad guy who hates Shanks due to a 'betrayal'. Then we're shown the 'betrayal' is something simple and stupid and is as much, if not more so, Buggy's fault than Shanks.

Then we find out Buggy lied about what the betrayal actually was followed soon after by the revelation that Shanks ADORES Buggy. In fact, he's so friendly with Buggy that it literally changes how the rest of the world interacts with Buggy. All because one of the Pirate Emperors is treating this pathetic, wet mop of a clown as a beloved equal.

Add in the fact that, by the current point of the story, we are well aware that 'good' and 'evil' are very much relative and... well. For all Buggy's still a villain, we've seen Buggy pull off more relatively 'good' things than we've seen Shanks do. In fact, some of Shanks' more recent actions are extremely questionable. Honestly, the further into the story we get, the more people like the clown and the more people start wondering what the hell, exactly, is Shanks up to?

And then we finally discover what the 'betrayal' actually is. And, wow, does it hurt. Because it's "I love you enough to give up everything for you, including my dreams" only to have the rug pulled out from under you. It's cutting yourself down until you don't know who you even are anymore in order to fit in the box you feel you have to fit in for the relationship to work at all. It's being so codependent you can't imagine not doing everything you can, including hurting yourself, to make sure it works. It's jealousy and anger at being forced to do that and not being able to express it because it's aimed at someone you love and you know the truth would devastate them. And it's leaving because staying would be worse.

It's also "I love you! I need you! Please stay!" and not understanding why love isn't enough. It's loving someone enough to let them go and waiting for them to come back (please come back). It's saying, "I love you," to someone and getting, "I wish I didn't," in reply. It's knowing something is wrong but not what so you can never fix it, no matter how hard you try. It's loving someone so much it's hurting them and not knowing that until they suddenly hurt you back.

It's devastating. And so much of it could be solved with communication.

And therapy. These two need so much therapy.

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Reacting To Your Symbiote

Requested: HEYY ive been eating UPP your head-canons for rhe boys, i would like to request one on how they would react w/ a reader that has a symbiote (venom basically) except it’s not like butcher’s case, but spouted from comp v when they were injected at a young age :D - anon

A/N: This idea is cool my love!!!! I hope you like it!! I did base it off clips from Venom/the Wikipedia just bc it's been ages since I saw the movie lol so apologies if anything is wrong!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜

Requests are open! 🔮

Butcher thinks your symbiote is both gross and a great thing to have on the team. You didn't tell anyone about them, fearing you'd hear the same responses you'd always heard growing up. He interrogates you about your powers. You promise you would never hurt anyone, that it's pretty bad in terms of looks, but that you have everything under control. That's not good enough for him. He wants you to show him. After more yelling and assumptions, you snap. It's only your arms that you allow to be taken over, but it's enough to leave him feeling sick. Afterwards you're pretty quiet, avoiding him as well as you can. The look on his face was exactly what you were trying to avoid. Eventually he grows a little more used to them and even apologized, though it's a poor one at best. When he really sees you in action he's left speechless. The team needs you, both of you. You're strong, and powerful, and scary in the best way possible.

Hughie was pretty freaked out the first time you showed him. You begged him to run, to save himself, but mostly you wanted him gone so he wouldn't have to see. When he didn't, you had no other choice. Your symbiote took over, giving you just enough control to apologize before, quite literally, annihilating your attackers. He couldn't believe what he was witnessing. He knew you were a Supe, you were pretty upfront about that, but you'd never gone into detail about what you could actually do. He understood why. Your symbiote was the thing of nightmares. It was malleable, and throbbing, and it could be as large as it wanted. It swallowed you whole, making itself a set of knife-sharp teeth. It smiled at him, telling him he was safe, which would have been endearing had it not been you standing in its place moments before. He has a lot of questions, all of them you're more than willing to answer. He deserves to know, especially coming face to face with them. You're an open book, the both of you are.

Annie was pissed. You never told her you were a Supe in the first place. You couldn't tell her. She was everything good about Supes and you feared you were everything bad. You were afraid of her judgement. You had enough of that from M.M. You made sure no one told her, not until you thought she was ready. And then she watched you save Hughie. She felt like an idiot, watching them take over your body, in awe and horror. She felt lied to. Technically, you think but dare not say, it wasn't lying because she never asked you, she just assumed you were human. You apologize anyways, knowing it wasn't right. You show her your symbiote bit by bit, introducing them slowly, telling her as much as you think she can handle at a time. You've been told, if you wanted, you'd be a perfect villain, you'd fit right in with Homelander. You didn't want her to come to the same conclusion. Annie could come to rash decisions at times. You figured you and your symbiote were no exceptions.

M.M isn't the biggest fan. It's nothing personal. Being a Supe is enough not to make him like you. On top of that you've got this thing inside of you that has a mind of its own. It could be capable of anything and you'd have very little control over it. You know this. You've been dealing with it since you were a kid. You and your symbiote grew up together. You've reached a level of mutual understanding and maturity that they aren't just going to start running around and rob banks or hurt people. That's not who either of you are. Still, he can't shake the feeling, the worry, that they could turn on your team at any moment. Your symbiote knows M.M. doesn't like them and, much like a dog, wants to give him extra attention because of it. You've had long talks about what not to do around him, keeping them in check so that you can gain just an inch more of trust. Anything helps to show him that you're not a monster.

Frenchie is probably the most comfortable around your symbiote out of all The Boys. He has a lot of questions for the both of you, especially about your childhood. For many years you thought you were a monster. Your family was expecting powers that could save people, that would get you into The Seven. Instead there was this thing that took over your body, this creature that could control their child. They thought it was gross, unsightly, and forbid you from letting them out. Of course you didn't listen. When you fell off your bike and skinned your knee, they fixed it. When you couldn't reach something, they helped you. They weren't all bad, they just weren't willing to learn that. Still, there was a lot of shame and even now, you struggle to open up about them. There's absolutely no judgement from Frenchie. He's fascinated. Awestruck. He tells you constantly how cool and powerful he thinks you both are. He doesn't want you to think of yourself as some kind of monster or abomination. Ever.

Kimiko watched your symbiote take over the first time you were really hurt. Homelander pushed you off the roof and you fell, breaking your bones, gasping for air, but magically alive. If she could have, she would have screamed. Your symbiote, as gently as it could, wrapped itself around your body, resetting your bones, putting your insides back together. It was excruciating. It only takes a few minutes before you're completely healed. She watches in awe, eyes wide, unsure of what the hell just happened, but eternally grateful you were okay. She stands you up, unsure of what to say. That night, you tell her everything. She's the first to really appreciate them. They're not the most attractive and have a wicked attitude, but they care about you. They saved you. Anyone who loves you that much is good in her books. She gives them names, asking how Kevin is or if Susan might be able to help her with something. It always makes you smile, knowing she isn't afraid of them or thinks of you any differently.

Bonus! Homelander thinks your symbiote is disgusting and weird. He refused to have you be a part of The Seven, but without any other candidates, he eventually gave in. You do a lot of weird things that truly make him uncomfortable. Arguing with your symbiote is a big one. Only you can hear them when they're inside, so it just looks like you're talking to yourself all the time. He hates when you're "saving" someone and they come out, but only partially, like a hand or leg. Something about that, you and them together, makes him queasy. When it's one or the other, that's a little better. When he gets uncomfortable he gets angry, which is bad news for you. Like The Deep, you've become a scapegoat for Homelander. If anything goes wrong, it's your fault. Your symbiote doesn't like him and, as hard as you try to keep them in check, they make it known.

[its-avalon-08]

omg that other anon is right, would you pls consider writing something about lando’s talk with emma?

you asked, i wrote and i hope you enjoy!

BONUS SCENE FOR - show me you love me (ln4)

Lando took a deep breath before knocking on Emma’s door. He knew what he had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. The events of the past few weeks had opened his eyes, and he couldn’t ignore the impact his friendship with Emma had on Y/N anymore. He had to make things right, and that meant having this difficult conversation.

Emma opened the door, a bright smile on her face. “Lando! What a surprise! Come in, come in.”

He stepped inside, the tension in his shoulders evident. “Hey, Emma. We need to talk.”

Emma’s smile faltered slightly, but she led him to the living room. “Sure, what’s up?”

Lando took a seat, his expression serious. “Emma, this isn’t easy for me to say, but I need to end our friendship.”

Emma’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Why?”

Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s about Y/N. Our closeness has been hurting her more than I realized, and I can’t let that continue.”

Emma rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Oh, come on, Lando. Y/N’s just being dramatic. She needs to grow up.”

Lando’s jaw tightened. “No, Emma, she’s not. I’ve seen how much pain she’s been in because of us, because of me. I’ve been blind to it, but not anymore. I love her, and I can’t keep hurting her.”

Emma scoffed, leaning back on the couch. “So, you’re just going to throw away our friendship because she’s insecure? That’s pathetic.”

Lando’s eyes flashed with anger. “Emma, this isn’t just about her being insecure. You knew how she felt, and you kept pushing the boundaries anyway. You knew what you were doing.”

Emma’s smirk faded, and her eyes narrowed. “Oh, please. Don’t blame this on me. You were just as involved as I was. If you cared so much about her, you wouldn’t have let it get this far.”

Lando shook his head, frustration boiling over. “I take full responsibility for my actions, and I’m ashamed of how I’ve hurt Y/N. But you’ve been fucking manipulative, Emma. You enjoyed seeing her upset.”

Emma’s expression turned cold. “Maybe I did. But that’s not my problem. It’s yours.”

Lando stood up, his fists clenched at his sides. “Well, it is my problem, and I’m fixing it. I can’t be friends with someone who takes pleasure in someone else’s pain. This ends now, Emma. Y/N is my whole world. Knowing that I caused her such pain is just- it's the fucking worst.”

Emma stood up too, glaring at him. “Fine, Lando. If you want to be whipped by your insecure girlfriend, go ahead. But don’t come crawling back when you realize how pathetic you’re being.”

Lando took a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination. "Emma, this isn't just about Y/N's insecurities. It's about respect. You've crossed lines that shouldn't have been crossed, and it's hurt someone I love deeply."

Emma's eyes flashed with irritation. "Oh, come on, Lando. Y/N needs to toughen up. We're just friends. She needs to get over it. She can't act like a goddamn child."

Lando shook his head, his voice firm. "No, Emma. You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew how much it bothered Y/N and you did it anyway. That's not something a real friend would do."

Emma laughed bitterly. "So, you're really choosing her over our friendship? After all these years?"

"Yes, I am," Lando replied, his tone unwavering. "Because I've seen the pain in her eyes. I've seen the tears. I've seen how much she's struggled, and I can't ignore that. She means everything to me, and I won't let anyone come between us."

Emma's expression hardened. "You're making a big mistake, Lando. You’re going to regret this."

Lando stepped closer, his eyes blazing with conviction. "The only mistake I made was not seeing this sooner. Not standing up for Y/N sooner. She deserves someone who puts her first, and that's what I'm going to do. So, this is goodbye, Emma. I hope you can find it in yourself to understand one day, but right now, my priority is Y/N."

Emma's smirk turned into a sneer. "Fine, Lando. Run back to your little girlfriend. But you'll come back."

Lando nodded, his voice calm but resolute. "I won't. Bye Emma."

He turned and walked out of her apartment, closing the door firmly behind him. As he walked down the hallway, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It was an end to a long-time friendship, but he knew it was necessary. His love for Y/N was worth any sacrifice, and he was determined to show her that she was his priority.

He knew they had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time in a long while, he felt like they were on the right path. He couldn’t wait to hold her in his arms and reassure her that she was the most important person in his life. And he would spend every day proving it to her, starting now.

[valley-of-headcanons]

I have a request because I’m curious. I’d love to see your headcannons on the bachelors finding out that their lovely farmer that they adore was previously in an abusive relationship and that why they really fled the city. Maybe a little added bonus on how they’d react bumping into said person 

bachelors with an abused partner || headcanons

your past isn't something to be ashamed of, and these lovely bachelors make you feel right at home <3

warnings: heavy topics today! abusive relationship mentions + interactions with the abuser. farmer is triggered by their partner's actions (yelling, joking shove, etc.), resulting in a panic attack. comfort fic :)

requested by: anon! hi, thank you so much for the request! i love comfort fics, so i hope that this provides you comfort as well! if anyone reading is going through this situation, please reach out to the people around you and get tf out, no one deserves such a thing :( anyway! hope you enjoy <3

alex

• When the time came around to tell Alex about your past relationships, you made sure to sit him down. You wanted him to truly understand how serious this was. So, you started to explain everything, detail for detail ... this led to a lot of emotions being brought back. Of course, you were emotional, but Alex seemed even more emotional.

• Alex was pissed. He was livid about how that person treated you. How dare someone even go that far? You're such a lovely person, he just cannot wrap his head around it ... but eventually, he realizes that he needs to put his emotions aside so that he can show you the love you need right now. He wraps stands and wraps his arms around you, kissing your cheek.

• “You're gonna be okay ... I'm gonna keep you safe, not matter what, 'kay? You're not gonna be in any of those situations, none of those words will ever be said in your direction as long as I'm around. Want to go lay down? You look like you're about to fall out ...” he says in the softest voice he can.

• Alex would try his best to respect your triggers as much as he can, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes. When in a simple disagreement, he ends up raising his voice. This sends shivers down your spine. When he notices you start to shake, tears pricking your eyes, he stops what he's doing immediately. It might take him a moment to realize, but he doesn't want to put you in harm's way what-so-ever.

• “Hey, hey, hey, I'm sorry ... listen, I'm not them. I promise you, I'm not him. I didn't mean to raise my voice, and I promise it's not that serious ... I'm not gonna hurt you. I wouldn't do anything on purpose ... you're safe here, I promise. We're just tired and wiped out. We need rest, and we'll bring all this up again later, yeah? Okay ... I love you.”

• If you two were to run into your abuser, Alex would immediately come to your aid. He would block you from the abuser's view, trying his hardest to protect you. He would hold a conversation with you, attempting to keep your mind off of the triggering presence. Eventually, if you need to get out of there, he takes you by the hand and leads you away. He makes sure to keep an eye out for everything that could possibly hurt you, and he does a fantastic job at it.

elliott

• When the time came to tell Elliott about your past relationships, you tried to warn him that this is going to be a heavy topic. After seeing your demeanor change, he started to worry. He inquired more, to which you provided. You explained every detail that you could, which was definitely emotional. But Elliott ... his emotions were written all over his face. God, he was devastated.

• Elliott looked absolutely defeated. He couldn't fathom how anyone could hurt you in such a harsh way. All he wanted to do was protect you with every bit of himself, but he walked into your life a bit too late. So, he needed to do what he could now that he was here. He kneeled down in front of you, taking your hands in his. He pressed a soft kiss onto your knuckles.

• “Love ... I don't know what to say. I have been rendered speechless by an idiotic hoodlum who has forsaken you. You will never be hurt again in my care, and I will promise you that. Live your life with no worry, and I will be at your side. Let me accompany, protect, and adore every aspect of you. You will be okay, my dearest, and I love you.”

• Eliott would rather die than make you uncomfortable. He tried his hardest to avoid any triggers, respect your boundaries, and love you with as much caution as he needed to. However, he accidentally messed up once. He said a phrase that was triggering to you, but he didn't know. You hadn't mentioned it, you had actually blocked that out. But when he said it, memories came flooding back, causing you to have a panic attack. He immediately came to your side, attempting to calm you down as you stuttered out your explanation.

• “My dearest, I am so very sorry. I didn't realize that would upset you. I promise, whatever intention that was used back then is not mine. I apologize as deeply as I can, and I vow to make it up to you. What can I do? ... let's go take a walk, okay? That way we can get our minds off of things. The beach would be a nice place, the sound of the waves can drown out the horrible memories. Is that okay with you? ... then let's go, my love.”

• If you two were to run into your abuser, Elliott would immediately wrap a protective arm around you. He would carry on, keeping an eye on both you and the abuser. If they were to approach you two, he would say something out of character, insulting the deepest darkest parts of their soul. Words that would never leave Elliott's mouth would fly out on this rare occasion. He would then take you home and make you some tea, calming you down as much as he could. He would make you feel as safe as he could.

harvey

• When the time came to tell Harvey about your past relationships, he could read the anxiety on face. It was fairly evident. So, he rested his hand on your back as you began to speak. As you opened up about all of the details you could think of, he softly rubbed your back. It was comforting, but not enough to keep you from being emotional. Harvey tried to keep a calm demeanor the whole time, acting as a stable rock for you.

• He tried to keep you calm by rubbing your back. After realizing this wasn't working, he pulled you into his arms carefully. He was more worried about keeping you calm and happy now, and he wanted to help you cope with everything later on down the line. What happened, happened. He has accepted that. It's a horrendous thing, but with the amount of people he's seen in his office, it happens. So, he focused as much as he could on making you feel better.

• “I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Thank you for sharing all of this with me, I'll certainly keep it in mind. What can I do moving forward that can help you? As your boyfriend, I will try my hardest to keep you safe and sound. I promise. I ... I am baffled that someone could do such a thing to you. You're safe now, sweetheart.”

• Harvey does his best to avoid triggering topics. He does mental gymnastics around these topics, and he sincerely tries his best. But, when you catch him humming a song that your abuser would hum ... you couldn't help but have a panic attack. Of course, after he figured out what was wrong, he would immediately stop and help.

• “Please love, take deep breaths. In ... hold ... out ... keep repeating that for me, alright sweetheart? Okay ... I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. I will keep this in mind from now on, but please tell me what else I can do. I know you forgot and that's not your fault. Keep taking those deep breaths for me ... you're doing okay, I promise. Nothing's going to hurt you here.”

• If you two were to run into your abuser, Harvey would sweep you away as soon as possible. If he even caught a glimpse of the person who hurt you, he would take your hand in his and lead you away as fast as he could. Leading you back to the house, he would sit with you close and make sure to keep an eye on the door. He was insistent on keeping you safe and out of sight. Harvey didn't know what he would do if the abuser was around you, but he knew it wouldn't be good. He loved you too much to put you in harm's way.

sam

• When the time came around to tell Sam about your past relationships, he didn't really expect anything. Okay, you were in a relationship, so what? He didn't expect anything bad, why would anyone do anything bad to you? You're so lovely, bad relationships shouldn't happen to you. But as you told him about everything that had happened to you ... Sam was baffled.

• He was so confused, how could this happen to you? Sam always treated you with respect and kindness and so, so much love! People are horrible, and Sam wasn't expecting this in the slightest. He made that clear to you, resting his hands on your cheeks. He pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead before wiping your tears with his thumb.

• “I never would've guessed that would've happened to you! If I see that fucker, promise you'll let me at 'em? You don't deserve that- you don't deserve anything of the sort! I just ... I love you so much, please don't forget that ... I wouldn't do anything to put you in harm's way, I would rather die, actually. Come here,” he said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

• Sam was pretty cautious about what you said triggered you, but sometimes things happen. He forgot that sudden loud noises made you upset, so when he was practicing on the drum set with no warning ... oops. He noticed how upset you looked, covering your ears. He stopped, cocking his head to the side and asking what was wrong. When you explained, he felt so bad.

• “Oh my God- I am so sorry. I forgot, I didn't realize- fuck ... please, let me make it up to you. Don't cry ... please? I-I promise, I didn't mean to. I was just practicing, but I'll make sure I'll warn you next time or use a mute. I love you, I am so sorry ... you're okay, you're not the one who needs to be apologizing. I love ya, hon. I'll make it up to you, I promise.”

• If you two were to run into your abuser, Sam wouldn't be able to hold back. He would send you off to hang out with Sebastian while he let loose on this fucker. He would beat the absolute shit of out of them (if they are male. If they were female, he would use his words because his mom brought him up right. He would fuck them up with his words though, I promise you that.) He would return to you beaten and bruised, but he would laugh it off. As long as you were safe and nothing was going to harm you, he was perfectly fine.

sebastian

• When the time came to tell Sebastian about your past relationships, he wasn't really worried. He loved you and was curious about your past, but he didn't expect anything necessarily bad. So, you sat him down on the couch. He didn't think it would be too serious, so he laid down against the arm, listening to you intently. But, as you started explaining everything in detail ... he sat straight up.

• Sebastian had always tried his hardest to keep his emotions subdued, he didn't like dealing with them. But things like this ... they made him emotional. Tears were in his eyes, which he tried to blink back. He really loved you, and he couldn't believe anyone could do such a thing to you. He needed to make sure you were okay, so he took your hand.

• “I ... I'm sorry, I'm just kinda speechless ... I promise, I love you, and that's not going to happen again. On my life, nothing will ever happen like that with me. I will ... I will work as hard as I can to keep you safe. Let me know what I can do to help ... you're precious to me. I wouldn't let you in harm's way.”

• He tried his hardest to keep your triggers in mind whenever he could, but we all forget sometimes. While you two were playing video games, he jokingly shoved you a little bit too hard. Of course, this brought back memories which sent you spiralling ... uh oh. Sebastian knew that he had messed up. He needed to bring you back to Earth somehow. He got on his knees in front of you and took your hands in his.

• “Hey, I'm sorry ... I didn't mean it like that. I won't do that anymore, it's just reflexes after hanging out with Sam for so long. I love you, and I would never hurt you on purpose. I won't put my hands on you like that again, okay? ... let me know what I can do to help, I would do anything and everything for you. I'd bend the Earth if I could ... yeah, we can lay down. Wanna pick a movie? ... I'll start some popcorn, go find something and I'll be in there shortly. I love you.”

• If you two were to run into your abuser, Sebastian would make sure to keep you safe. He'd have an arm around you at all times, watching over you while doing daily tasks. If the person were to come up to you, he would shoot a rude comment their way while calculating a way to get you out of this situation safely. The back and forth banter would last a while, but Sebastian wouldn't fight them. He'd make them want to fight him, but he wouldn't dare shoot the first punch. He's mature enough to avoid that situation.

shane

• When the time came around to tell Shane about your past relationships, Shane just shrugged when you brought it up. The past is the past, what's the issue? He soon found out that there were actually a lot of issues. When you slowly went through everything you could, letting all the details slip, Shane just stared daggers into the ground. Holy shit.

• Shane is a damaged person, yes. But knowing that you're damaged, just like him? It made his heart break. You didn't deserve that, that treatment wasn't meant for people like you. He shook his head, his elbows on his knees. He couldn't believe someone would do shit like that, they have some fucking nerve.

• “Fuck 'em. They're not here anymore, and I'll make sure they stay the hell away. Your feelings are valid, and I understand. If you ever need to talk about anythin', let me know ... I'm not the best with emotions, but I promise that I'm always here for ya. Just ... anythin' you need, I guess.”

• Shane tried his hardest to step around your triggers, but when you're a bit tipsy, mistakes are easy to make. You two were having a small disagreement when he accidentally dropped his glass. As the glass shattered, shockwaves were sent through your body. He saw your eyes widen in fear before they began to prick with tears. You didn't think he did it on purpose, did you? He walked closer to you with his hands out, trying to show that he wasn't going to hurt you. He just wanted to comfort you.

• “I promise that wasn't on purpose, hon- the glass just slipped. I wouldn't throw a glass or any shit like that ... has that happened before ...? Fuck- I am so sorry. I love you, I promise, and I wouldn't ever throw shit at you. Let me make it up to you, yeah? I'll hold you for the rest of the night, make you feel all safe ... I am really, really sorry ...”

• If the two of you were to run into your abuser, Shane would certainly have some choice words. He would yell at them from afar, nothing up close, and simply walk away with you by his side. He didn't want to create too much drama, but he wanted that fucker to know that weren't welcome in this town. They weren't welcome around you. All Shane cared about was you, and it was evident.