#because frozen 2 is here and i want to feel nostalgic

[teejaystumbles]

Against all odds (part 2)

Part 1

Dream unmakes the latest nightmare he's been working on for the umpteenth time and heaves a humiliatingly human sigh of relief when the glass dissolves back into sand again. This is not working. Perhaps confronting his fear head on is not a good idea.  Instead of continuing his work he casts out his awareness, looking for a certain someone.

Hob Gadling is not currently asleep, but he seems to be daydreaming quite a lot. As much as Dream tries not to pry he can’t help but curiously skim over his friend’s imaginings. Has Hob read Dream’s journal entry yet? How has he reacted to it? Dream is prepared for resentment, disgust even, for Dream’s failure to meet with Hob, and his flimsy excuses. What he perceives instead are snatches of misty, rainy skies that blanket a multitude of wistful and fragile thoughts Dream does not dare look closer at. Hob seems to be lost in nostalgic memories, both sad and fond.  The lack of rage or hurt makes Dream relax a fraction. Later, when Hob sleeps, he will visit his friend’s lodging again to try and see if he has written an answer to Dream’s entry.

-

Dream steps out of the shadows of Hob’s curtains and gazes at the sleeping man. This time Hob has put on appropriate sleepwear and has pulled the blankets over himself. His sleep is restless, his dreams having a certain sense of urgency Dream can feel, but he does not intend to be here long.

He steps up to the desk and looks at the notebook. It lies open again, pen by its side, as if in invitation. Pulse thrumming with excitement, Dream eagerly bends over the pages to read the newly added words.

June 8th, 1989

Dearest stranger, my friend! 

I can't believe I am allowed to call you that! Let me tell you that I nearly fainted when I found your message in my notebook this morning. I've read the words you've written a hundred times by now and still I almost can't believe them to be real. I can’t believe I’m touching the pen you must have held, that I missed your presence in my room

As devastated as I was after you didn't come yesterday, as happy am I that you chose to contact me after at all.

I'm quite embarrassed about my drunken ramblings that you must have read. There's no lie in them, but I would try and put the truth into less desperate words if I could. I must seem like a fool, fixating on you like this, after all we've only met six times so far. Still, what I wrote, that you are my one constant in life, is nothing but the truth. Our meetings are fixed points in time that I measure this immortal life of mine by now. I try not to, but meeting with you has often felt like the start and finish of an era of Hob Gadling, despite it being probably more in the middle of several. Every centennial meeting with you was the most important appointment that I would plan and prepare for (as best as I could) for months, sometimes years. So if writing to you like this is the only way I get to speak to you then I will gladly take it, and thank you for it. 

But make no mistake, dear stranger - I would love to see you again and I hope you will be ready and willing to meet me in person again someday. Because

Dream stops reading to collect himself for a moment. Hob is not angry at him. He still wants to meet Dream, in fact eagerly awaits him. Dream feels himself flush with strange longing and can’t help a rush of power escaping him, the equivalent of a shudder, of goosebumps. A mistake, he realises, as he hears a sudden gasp come from behind him.

He freezes.

“My friend? Is that you?”

The urge to not acknowledge Hob and simply disappear is so strong that Dream feels his form already dispersing. Hob’s desperate tone of voice, cracking at the end, stops him.

“Please wait! Please…”

Dream waits, frozen, unable to turn around and face his friend. His form is trembling, rattling, whisping around him like smoke and Hob makes a keening noise.

“You don’t have to- I won’t-”

A sigh, a calming intake of breath.

“Look. I don’t want to pressure you, and if you want to leave I obviously cannot stop you. But…maybe. We can talk? A bit?”

He sounds so hopeful, so sincere, it tugs at something inside Dream and makes him shut his eyes. Hob has not moved from where he sat up in bed but Dream can feel his restlessness, his daydreams of reaching out, of hugging Dream-

“There’s- there’s phones now, you know? You don’t have to look at me at all, we could talk no matter where you are, it’s amazing really-”

“Hob.”

The man immediately stops talking and Dream draws in a deliberate breath before turning around to face him. Strange, how such human mannerisms help him calm down now. After his imprisonment, the act of breathing feels like a luxury to him, a comfort all in its own.

Hob gasps again when he looks at him and Dream wonders what he sees. The man swallows heavily and his fingers nervously grip his bedding. His eyes are red-rimmed and Dream can see tears gathering at the edges, in the tiny wrinkles created by a life full of laughter. The wrinkles deepen as Hob breaks into a grin.

“Hello, old stranger. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

Dream very much doubts that. He knows he still looks emaciated, despite all the power returned to him. His form echoes the unease he still feels a lot of the time. He is closer to a nightmare than a dream. Yet Hob seems to genuinely delight in seeing him and Dream feels himself flush with warmth, and embarrassment.

“I- it is good to see you, Hob. Apologies, for not-”

“Accepted. Forgiven. Forgotten,” Hob interrupts him eagerly, “You’re here now.”

“I am...”

He is, and he feels at a complete loss for words. Hob cocks his head slightly, his expression sobering.

“But you were rather…not…?” he asks with a small frown. Dream twitches, caught out. Why it is that this human can see through him so easily he will never understand. It is slightly…terrifying.

Hob looks at his hands gripping his blanket and says quietly, “Look, if talking isn’t- if you’d rather continue the writing, that’s fine. I will accept that. I-”

He stops and Dream can see him grind his teeth. He still feels unable to respond, caught in watching Hob Gadling go through several inexplicable emotions. Then he breathes harshly through his nose and looks back at Dream with a tense but genuine smile.

“I don’t know what happened to you, but I know something did. You wrote as much, and I can see it in your face. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. So if it’s me-”

He swallows again and blinks rapidly, like he’s trying to hold back tears and Dream takes an involuntary step forward.

“It is not. You. Hob. It’s…”

Dream subsides, again unsure how to voice his insecurities, unbecoming as they are of one such as him. 

But Hob does not know what you are, a small voice whispers inside his head and Dream shivers. 

Hob does not know who he is. Has Dream not confessed that that is exactly why he enjoys the man’s company so much? Without knowledge of Dream’s power and function, Hob will not judge him for being…frightened. Of tight spaces. Of glass. Of people. He will only see his friend, in need of comfort.

Dream suddenly wants nothing more than to let Hob comfort him, knowing that the man before him, with his eyes full of hope and tenderness, would not send him away. He can finally speak.

“My friend. I have tried to work through some issues I have…accumulated over the last century, due to very. Unfortunate events. Yet exposing myself to these uncomfortable sensations again…has not had the therapeutic effect I wished for. I am at a loss how to overcome my reluctance to…mingle. Once again.”

Hob looks wide-eyed at him, frowning again. “Wait. Are you saying. You tried to treat yourself with exposure therapy? To what, exactly? If I may ask,” he adds hastily.

Dream shifts nervously.

“...Claustrophobia. Among other things.”

“Jesus,” Hob gasps and wipes a hand over his face, “yeah, I don’t know if, I don’t know, shutting yourself in is really helpful with that. How fast have you been taking things? Have you tried being in larger rooms first, or…” he trails off and looks around his bedroom.

“Are you fine in here? Do you need me to open a door or window?”

Dream is perplexed. Instead of asking what happened Hob’s immediate concern is for his comfort in the current situation. He relaxes a fraction at the realisation that he made the right choice. His friend will not judge him for his weakness.

With a small smile he says, “No. I am alright. Your rooms are. Not uncomfortable to me.”

Hob almost glows at his words and also relaxes a bit. Dream has basically admitted to feeling safe in Hob’s presence and clearly the man has understood that immediately. He is a lot smarter than Dream ever gave him credit for. Hob Gadling has learned a lot about people in his life, it seems. Even if Dream is not exactly people, his current troubles are very human, he supposes.

He sees the moment it hits Hob, when he puts two and two together and realises what Dream has been telling him.

“You said, issues you’ve accumulated…over the last century. Which means, you weren’t claustrophobic before- my friend,” he exclaims and scoots closer to the edge of the bed as if barely holding himself back from approaching Dream.

“What happened? Can you- would you-” Hob asks, his voice trembling a bit, his eyes wide. “Tell me? Please? I want to help,” he says in a very small voice that makes Dream again feel sorry for how he treated his friend in the past. He looks at the notebook, contemplating.

“It is. Hard for me, to speak about these things. Maybe…I can borrow this book? To-”

“Yes! Absolutely! Take it! Sorry, I mean, please, feel free to write to me, I would be delighted. If it makes it easier for you to talk about things…I understand,” Hob says, nodding vigorously. Then he hesitates.

“Does this mean…we won’t see each other again? Until 2089?”

He looks so openly horrified and sad at the idea that Dream immediately dismisses any thoughts he had of saying goodbye for a hundred years once more. In truth, he does not think he would have managed it himself. Writing to Hob is preferable when it comes to confessing what happened to him, but Dream has to admit to himself that he has missed seeing his friend, and he has not looked his fill.

“No. I would like to meet you again. Earlier. I am not sure when, but…I wish to. Introduce myself. After I have given you a more detailed account of my century. I would also like to listen to your own tales. In person.”

Hob beams at him and nods.

“Yeah, I’d love that. My friend,” he says, taking a steadying breath, “I am so very happy to see you. I hope you know that you coming back to talk to me, or write to me, means everything to me. Because I do not take our friendship for granted. Far from it. It is…very precious to me.” He swallows heavily and his smile wobbles a bit. Dream nods awkwardly, feeling embarrassed by the way Hob’s words make shadowy, star-speckled butterflies escape from the back of his coat. He hopes Hob doesn’t see them.

“I…yes. Thank you, Hob,” Dream says awkwardly and then takes the book from the desk. He carefully tucks it into his coat and turns to leave. He looks one last time at his friend, taking in his sleep-mussed dark hair and his gentle smile and feels again a strange pang of longing in his chest.

“Take all the time you need,” Hob says softly, and Dream knows he means it; means that he will be waiting for Dream, no matter how long it takes. Dream can only nod silently again and then, with more reluctance than he would like, leaves Hob Gadling’s bedroom behind.

Part 3

[dwrlm-orion]

ABOUT THE NEWEST TWST HALLOWEEN EVENT🎃🐦‍⬛

Here's things I take a notes from the event (correct me if I'm wrong or just TELL ME IF I MISSED SOME THINGS)

IMPORTANT, this is just my notes and rants so it will get messy, I mean a real mess. And I'll mix Indonesian and English language since it's easier (for me and my english it still improving, I hope). Hehe :D

It's gonna be a long post I ever type. Help

Not recommend to read since this is just my rants.

🎃

Halloween Event Tittle:

"Lost in The Book with Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas"

I wonder how Tim Burton will react to this, HE NEED TO KNOW

This is part 2 of Lost in the Book Series. Which I didn't expect tapi gak akan ku tolak 😳

Some facts yang udah terungkap sampai hari ini (btw, eventnya besok ahay GASKEUN~):

Twisted version dari Jack Skellington, named Skully J. Graves (honestly it's a cool name, and WE WON'T LET THE ENGLISH VERSION MESSED UP AGAIN JUST LIKE THEY DID TO KIFAJI AND FELLOW-ekhem)

SSR card: Leona (I CAN'T BREATH, WHERE'S OXYGEN?!!), Jamil (NJAY, JAMIL WITH HIS HAIR DOWN?!! SENGGOL DONG BOS) & Sebek (LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO BABY CROC!!)

SR card: Riddle (THIS IS HIS 2nd BOOK, GIVE HIM A BREAK. And, what in the Ciel Phantomhive???? Bro, I'll give my everything just to get your ass card, luv you), Trey (O-M-G, are you here to babysit Riddle??? or opened your own bakery in Halloween Town??? #babysitter), Jade (YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO BE SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS, AREN'T YOU?!! Nice hairstyle btw) & Idia (STAY SAFE BRO, I HOPE YOU'LL SURVIVE BRO, I'LL SAVE YOUR ASS IF YOU GET STUCK ON THE TREE- I got feeling he'll got stuck on a tree at some point)

R card: Azul (Honestly, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? KAYA TIBA-TIBA BANGET NIH GURITA HADIR- but I'll enjoy your stunt dan skema penipuan yang akan kau jalankan MAJU KAU GURITA GULUNG!!), Vil (BEAUTIFUL QUEEN!! WELCOME TO THE NIGHTMARE- also you're here to babysit Epel??? #babysitter 2 I got feelings he'll get into more trouble because of his gremlin son), Malleus (BABY GORL, WHAT IN THE W- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TRAPPED HERE, SAYANGKUH!!) & Epel (DON'T GET YOUR MOM Vil INTO TROUBLE!!)

SKULLY GANTENG DAN MENAWAN BANGET PLIS (Gojo reinkarnasi ke semsta yang tak terduga ehe)

Overblot team hadir semua bos! (APA ARTINYA INI????)

Story might be follow the original movie or rather more drama and chaos?? This is NRC students we talked.

ORIGINAL JACK SKELLINGTON ON THE SHOW!! Also Sally and Zero is here?? holy- DID OOGIE BOOGIE WILL SHOW UP TOO??

And I notice the tone color on the card is more grayer or darker??? Riddle's bright red hair is supper grayish in his card. Perfect for this Halloween event :D

AND THE SANTA CLAUS?? OR TWISTED VERSION OF SALLY???

🔥🔥🔥THIS HALLOWEEN WOULD BE FIRE!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

I want to add some of movie that have been adapted to event (as I remember so far):

Tinkerbell (fairy gala?? It's fairy themed)

Pinocchio (wishing star event and playful land event???)

Hunchback of Notre-dame

Lilo and Stich

The Nightmare Before Christmas (we're here!)

What's Next ?????

And I want to make a list of potential Disney movie that might be turned into future event in Twisted Wonderland (just my hunch but we'll see #smilemenacingly):

Frozen (trapped in the endless winter??? I'm in)

Zootopia (I'M WAITING FOR THEM TRAPPED IN ZOOTOPIA AND MEET WITH JUDY. I'm watching for you, Ace)

Dumbo (obvi, classic and nostalgic. Yana-sensei will do this right?? RIGHT?!)

Beauty and The Beast (aside from Vargas, I WANT TO SEE MORE OF TWISTED VERSION OF BATB CHARACTER PLS)

Bambi (I don't know why I add this movie but I LOVE THIS MOVIE FOR YEARS)

Brother Bear (EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE)

Winnie The Pooh (I mean what's wrong with Pooh and Friends make disaster at NRC?? Crowley will be in despair and suffer, now that's gonna be delightful)

Tarzan (I can imagine the first year trying survive in the jungle. Also Rook in Tarzan cloth??? 👁️👁️)

Jungle Book (Exploring the jungle is fun, boys 🙃)

The Emperor's New Groove (WE WANT TO SEE TWISTED YZMA)

Mulan (I know what you're thinking but SILVER GONNA LOVE IT WHEN HE MEET HIS IDOL)

Tangled (Them being tour guide for Rapunzel is hilarious. They'll get more lost but who cares)

The Princess and The Frog (Swamp time people!! Also, who's gonna kiss the frog?? Lilia will)

Peter Pan (I mean it's cool but The Prefect currently experience this *side eyeing Crowley)

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (WELL- IT HAVE POTENTIAL)

And the list goes on...

WE ARE SO READY FOR TOMMOROW!! APAPUN YANG TERJADI CINTAKU PADA TWST INI YANG BERSINAR SEPERTI SINAR ULTRAFENG DAN SELUAS SEMESTA INI AKAN TETAP MENGEBU-GEBU!!!

[the-blue-fairie]

Character ask: 2, 4, 5, 14, 15, and 20 for Anna

2. I think I started to adore her the first moment she was onscreen. Frozen was part of what really rekindled my love for Disney, so I remember still having a bit of the cynical disaffected feeling at the time - and I was surprised at how easily I fell in love with these characters when they were children. I might have expected insincere treacliness, but what I got was two deeply sincere child characters in the form of Elsa and Anna. The strength of the film RESTS on the emotional weight of the accident and what follows. If we don't feel for Anna when she is struck, it's all for naught. And I was swept up in the emotional dynamic. Part of that rests on Elsa's likability as a child, of course, but so much rests on Anna. One wrong move and she could have been annoying, but she just feels. Exuberant. In a way that feels both nostalgic but deeply tender.

My love for her as a character solidified firmly thereafter, during Do You Want to Build a Snowman. DYWTBAS is, I think, a masterclass of storytelling, a timely, effective, emotional gut-punch - and the look in Anna's eyes when Elsa shuts her door for the first time (and the look in Elsa's eyes) is HEARTBREAKING. The emotional resonances of Anna's character are heartbreaking, you feel for everyone in the scenario. Just sublime storytelling.

4 and 5. I politely decline to discuss ships, but send my love to everyone and the beautiful stories they weave and art they craft in this fandom.

14. Her best storyline? Oh, this is difficult, because so many of her storylines have emotional resonances with me. Her desperation for human connection tying into her romance with Hans and her arc regarding True Love. Her reconnection with Elsa. Her self-sacrifice being key to her salvation and her being her own savior? Aaaaaaah. The intense emotional power of The Next Right Thing? How can I begin to choose? I will say, The Next Right Thing might be my favorite moment for her, but because I think certain parts of her arc in F2 were written more clumsily (even if the culmination is executed perfectly), I think I'll say her F1 arc, tying together her sense of isolation, her desperation for human connection, her gaining of wisdom, her faith, her inner strength, her saving herself, all of it. It overwhelms me.

15. Her worst storyline? Oh, I have strong feelings about this one. See here.

20. A weird headcanon? Oh, fun! Let's go lighthearted! She's a bit of a nudist and part of the reason Olaf has an aversion to clothes ("So nice to take your coals off once in a while", "I just find clothes restricting"), which I'm basing off the "Like run naked in the breeze" line from the musical. Which, between Oaken, Bulda's casualness regarding washing Kristoff's clothes, various introspective pieces I've written about Elsa, Oaken's family, and Olaf of course, she'll fit right in among many.

[minka-cola]

geh. anxiety a bitch

edit: oh man and the read more broke when it looked fine in the preview. oh man oh man oh man

i just don't understand why this social paralysis has gotten so bad in the last year. i can look back on reblogs from halfway through 2023 and see that i was still being really expressive in my tags then. and i was still even knocking out the daily reblog limit on some days just going back through my timeline from the night before

after steamrolling through the splatoon 3 hero mode and side order stuff across the past few days, i actually entertained the notion of playing splatoon online again today. it felt so paralysing as i stood there in the lobby. what am i even scared of? you can't even talk to people in the game

then i did it! i queued up! i don't know what actually pushed me through being able to do it. i've frozen up even doing roulettes in ff14 more lately just because it's so overwhelming to be around even just 3 strangers for a quick 10 minute thing. i still want to try crystalline conflict sometime but i black out on actually queueing up. thinking about fighting other people makes me queasy and weak

i kept thinking i could just leave the splatoon queue. i still had time for it. i could even just buzz salmon run so i don't have to fight other people. then it popped!

it felt like i was back in the saddle. i had a whole lot of fun, probably the most genuine fun in a while. there was even splatoon 2 maps on rotation and it felt almost as nostalgic as splatoon 1 at this point for me

then a few hours later, just in the middle of a perfectly normal match, anxiety hit me like a truck again. why am i here, putting myself through this, surrounded by people. i don't want to fight other people. i could really feel my performance slipping away and it felt like a genuinely crushing defeat that i abruptly stopped pulling my weight in. i had to close it and just stew for a while

then here i was on tumblr, immeadiately paralysed and ready to close it after opening again like i've been doing more and more, but then i see a recommended piece on the side and it's like "oh, maybe just check that quick". and then i end up reblogging a bunch again, before suddenly it feels like anxiety was creeping up again. i backpedal out of the tab and just stew again

this feeling sucks. it sucks so much

[tea-under-the-stars]

The Signs as Disney Villains

Aries: Te Ka (Moana - 2016)

Taurus: Ursula (The Little Mermaid - 1989)

Gemini: Dr Facilier (The Princess and the Frog - 2009)

Cancer: Mother Gothel (Tangled - 2010)

Leo: Gaston (Beauty and the Beast - 1991)

Virgo: Evil Queen (Snow White an the Seven Dwarfs - 1937)

Libra: Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty - 1959)

Scorpio: Jafar (Aladdin - 1992)

Sagittarius: Shan Yu (Mulan - 1998)

Capricorn: Lady Tremaine (Cinderella - 1950)

Aquarius: Mor’du (Brave - 2012)

Pisces: Governor Ratcliffe (Pocahontas - 1995)

[xu-ren]

Goodbye

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Dick Grayson x reader / Nightwing x reader

Wordcount: 2,200+

I love Dick, I really do but even though I think that he can make a good boyfriend, I also think that he won’t, mostly because of the heavy burdens he takes upon himself. This is me trying to write a breakup where they both still love each other but the relationship is like beating a dead horse. I hope that you enjoy. 

Masterpost

*~*~*

You jolted awake suddenly. You weren’t sure what woke you up, maybe it was the feeling that someone was staring at you, maybe it was the wind coming in from the window you always close, maybe it was the coppery smell of blood. Well, there was only one person that would sneak into your bedroom in the middle of the night.

“………Dick?”

“Yes, darling?”

You dragged your weary body from your warm embrace of your bed and walked to where the shadowy figure was. Gently, you slowly took his hand in yours, making sure to telegraph your movement so he doesn’t startle. You linked your fingers together, comfortable and nostalgic in equal measures. It feels like it has been so long since the last you held his hand but also like you have never stopped holding it.

You went into your bathroom to fetch the first aid-kit, which in a normal household would be defined as overstocked but when you are dating a vigilante, there’s no such thing as an overstocked first aid-kit. Understocked, definitely, but never overstocked. When you entered the dining room where you left Dick, you found him in his Nightwing costume, gingerly perched upon one of the chairs on your dining table, specifically the one covered in plastic that was set aside for nights like this. The lights you flickered on your initial journey to the kitchen only serves to highlight his wounds. Luckily, they don’t seem to be anything serious, just a mixture of bruises and small cuts, nothing you have not seen before.

You settled yourself in front of him and gently start cleaning and dressing his wounds, muttering apologies when he hissed from the pain. Your hands were steady, far too used to cleaning up wounds for someone who is a civilian. Dick was uncharacteristically silent, maybe he was too exhausted to talk, which is doubtful.  Maybe he could read that you are not in the mood to talk, which was far more likely. He had always been perceptive to your moods, that was what made him such a good boyfriend in the first place.

Once, earlier in your relationship, your hands would have trembled, shaky and uncertain as they dressed his wounds. Your panicking apologies would have been met with demands for kisses to make it better, perhaps even interspersed with kisses from Dick to whatever patches of your skin that he could reach.

But now, it was no longer so. Quickly and efficiently, Dick’s wounds were soon all cleaned and dressed. You moved a chair in front of him and settle upon it, finally meeting his eyes. He looks exhausted, world weary with bags that would rival the bag you see on a backpacker. If you could have it any other way, you would not have this conversation now but if you don’t, you don’t know when you would next have a chance to do so or the courage to go through with it.

You held one of his hands in both of yours, rubbing your thumb in a soothing motion on the back of his hand, doing whatever you can to soften the news.

“Dick, let’s break up.” You let it spill out of you, as quickly as you could before your courage failed you.

Dick’s baby blues widen, making him resemble a baby owl before blinked rapidly once, twice, thrice, as if he is in disbelief while the rest of him was frozen. The silence seemed to drag on and on, the calm before the storm.

“Love, darling, dearest, whatever do you mean? I promise that I would do better. Just tell me where I went wrong, it won’t happen again. I promise, just please please don’t leave me. Let’s get married, okay? When do you wanna get married? Tomorrow is fine, how about tomorrow?” babbled Dick desperately. In the middle of his babbling, the position of your hands had switched, with both of his hands cradling both of yours. It’s warm and familiar and you desperately want to savour the moment, especially since it’s one that you have went so long without.

However, you have already come this far. It would be doing a disservice to the courage you so desperately gathered to fail here.

“Oh Dick, I love you, I really really do. But you don’t have anything left to give me, do you? Do you even remember the last time we went on a date?” You asked as kindly as you could.

“We went to the burger place you mentioned?” He asked hesitantly.

“That was 2 months ago, and you were 3 hours late,” you retorted, trying to keep the heat from your voice.

“The café with the ………pancakes?” His next guess was much more hesitant, so it was safe to say that you weren’t particularly successful with keeping the heat from your voice.  

“5 months ago, and you left 3 minutes after the pancakes arrived because you received a call. From Barbara.”

The silence that followed your second answer was deafening, uncomfortable in a way that was rare when you were with him. He responded by bringing your hands, still cradled by his to his cheeks and looked at you from under his lashes with his lower lip jutting out. There are many things about him that you were weak to, but none as much as when he looked at you with his baby blues from under those long pretty boy lashes of his.

You snatched your hands from his and narrowed your eyes at him, furious that he would try such a method at a time like this. It was unfair of him, since you knew your weakness, he knew it, his family knew it, even the waitstaff at your favourite breakfast place probably knew it.

“Point is, Dick, we have barely seen each other in months, and when we do, you are either late or rushing off. I’m not angry,” You pinched your nose, trying to keep your voice steady. “I mean, I was but I came to realise something. There’s no place for me in your life, or rather, there’s so much on your plate that there’s no place left for me. You are a flying Grayson, and I’m the shackles that bound you. I have been selfish all this time, but would you let me be selfish this one last time?”

At the end of your rant, you finally dared to hazard a glance at Dick. His shoulders were slumped and his head bowed, like he was beaten down and it broke your heart. It’s not the first time you have seen him like this, his life often takes its toll on him, but it never failed to break your heart nonetheless.

You wanted to comfort him, but how do you comfort someone who you hurt? You wished to wrap your arms around him, giving him a reprieve from the horrors of the world and a place to be weak. You wished to let him sob into your shoulder but how do you do so when you are the one that inflicted this pain on him?

“Alright,” he sighed, ending your relationship once and for all.

“It’s late, why don’t you stay the night?” It’s cruel of you, to offer your bed to someone whose heart you just broke, but you missed him.

He raised his head and you finally looked at him after your awful revelation. The sight of it broke your heart all over again, especially the way his eyes were shinning with barely unshed tears and his lips were quivering. His eyes scanned you, trying to tell if you meant what you said.

He nodded his acceptance and head towards your couch. You pulled on his shirt to catch his attention, unsure if he wanted you to touch him at the moment. He stopped but doesn’t turn to face you.

“Come to bed, Dick.” An unspoken one last time passed between the both of you.

He changed directions and headed towards your bedroom, shoulders and back stiff. You were left standing in the kitchen alone, except this time it's all due to your own making. When you finally gathered your thoughts, you head to your bedroom to find Dick in the showers.

You sat on your bed, waiting for him because you like to think that you still know him well and he is someone that would go to sleep on your couch or gods forbid, leave, if you close your eyes for even a second. The way he jolted when he came out of the bathroom confirmed your suspicions.

He made his way stiffly to his side of the bed, closer to the window. “All the better to protect you, my dear,” was what he said when you had asked why he loved sleeping on the side closer to the window.

You crawled under the covers, unsure on what to do next. It’s painful that your last night together would be so horribly awkward, even though you know that you only have yourself to blame for this. Lovely, precious Dick broke the awkwardness by wrapping his arms around you, pulling your head onto his chest and resting his head on yours. You reciprocated by wrapping your arms around him and snuggling closer. His scent was comforting, a mixture of his shower gel and something that was uniquely him. It has long faded from both your bed and the clothes that he left in your apartment, even though you tried to preserve it for as long as you possibly could.

Only in the darkness of your bedroom, with both of your arms wrapped around each other, does Dick finally let his tears fall.  His tears wet your hair and gut-wrenching sobs that tore through his chest. What broke your heart over and over again was however, the kisses he pressed to the top of your head in between his sobs.

You closed your eyes and succumbed to sleep only when his sobs were silent, presumably having exhausted himself.

*~*~*

You jolted awake to the smell of something burning, causing you to leap from your bed and run towards the kitchen. There, you stared as Dick waved your pan around, trying to put out the burning something on it. You would hazard a guess and say that it was a fried egg, given the eggshell you could see at the side of the stove.

Some unknown emotion, maybe relief, crawled up your throat and you laughed and laughed and laughed. By the time you managed to gain some control, you looked up to see Dick pouting at you.

“You could have helped, you know?” pointed out Dick, clearly a little upset.

“I’m sorry, I should have. How about cereal instead?” you said as a peace offering.

“Fruit Loops?” Watching Dick perk up at the mere mention of cereal made your lips twitch upwards. It certainly made the number of times you had to replace the cereal worth it, given that he had never stayed over enough in recent months to finish the cereal and you weren’t going to eat that sugary cereal.

“Of course, were you expecting something else?”

“I love you, honey.” At the words that spilled out of Dick’s mouth, both of you freeze, unsure on how to proceed, your conversation from last night hanging heavily in the air. You smiled at him tentatively and his shoulders relaxed marginally.

By the time you return to the kitchen after freshening yourself in the bathroom, Dick had already taken your largest bowl and was eating what looked like half the box of cereal. You made yourself a cup of Milo before sitting across Dick, drinking in the sight of him sitting at your kitchen table bathe in sunlight.

Far sooner than you would like, breakfast was over and you are helping him pack up his things. Even that doesn’t last as long as you would liked and before you knew it, you were standing in front of your door with Dick, his things in a box at his feet.

Both of you look at each other awkwardly, unsure or perhaps unwilling to take the next step. He cupped your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your lips. He tasted sweet, which suited a person as sweet as he is.

‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ his kiss said.

‘Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I love you too,’ you kissed him back.

You separated, his hands still cupping your cheeks, your faces so close that you could smell the sugar on his breath.

‘Goodbye.’ He pressed one last kiss on your forehead before turning around and walking out of your life. You know that if you ask him to stay, if you tell him that you don’t want to break up anymore, he would stay, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of you. You watched, rooted to the ground, drinking in the sight of him until he turned around the corner.

You can’t bear the sight of your apartment, so bare without his things. Even when he had been barely around in months, at least his things were still around to remind you of him. Instead, you headed to your bed and cried, surrounded by the smell of him. The first time your bed smelled like him in months also marked the last time your bed would ever smell like him.

[4joonkookie]

Gravity

(Mirror, Mirror part #2, [or not])

⚘ Paring: Jungkook x Reader

⚘Words: 3.8K

⚘Summary:

Part 2 of the Mirror, Mirror series. All parts can be read as a series or standalone. (Standalone) - You strike a lusty connection with a sexy stranger at a concert venue. OR (Series) - Unsure about the future of your relationship, you recall the first time you meet and fuck JK.

⚘Tags/Warnings:

SMUT, flirting, public foreplay, infatuation, established relationship, non-disclosure agreement, angst, rough sex, putting on a condom is sexy?, waxing nostalgic, noona!kink, destiny, series, career woman, Jungkook takes long showers, oops there's a plot, lots of research on that 'Euphoria' harness, Seokjin cameo, commitment issues, avoidant behavior, unresolved ending, ending up to reader interpretation, just wanted to write a sex scene in the mirror and it's manifested into 4 parts.

------------------------------------------

You stand frozen in the mirror, looking at your reflection until it fortunately steams away from Jungkook’s hot shower.

Quit your stupid job. Please. Stay with me. And you don’t need to have an answer. But we have to talk about it.

You could be predictable and do exactly what Jungkook thinks. You can leave.

Or. You could head to the kitchen, start a pot of coffee and unpack your bags.

Memories flood your mind, keeping you still.

-----

The thousands of seats in the stadium are empty but ample employees work through set-up and dress rehearsal for the concert happening tonight.

You stand on the stage watching the staff secure a performer to the platform harness, tightening a cable around his waist. They shuffle to finish and take steps back to watch the man be lifted, hung and swayed above the stadium seats.

This is the last item on your agenda today before you can head back to the hotel and rest for an early flight tomorrow.

The performer is slowly lowered down to the stage.

Working for these large venues means traveling, living in hotel rooms and keeping you too busy to take advantage of endless complimentary show tickets. Most of them go to waste or are given away . A “friend” (one of the many that come out of the woodwork depending on what show is in their city) casually asked about tickets to this particular concert. You told her the stadium is sold out but you had 2 tickets and weren’t planning on using them.

Your ears still ring with the high-pitched shriek she wailed into the receiver.

When the man lands safely back on the stage, you approach him. “How is it? Does it feel okay?” you say, in your best client - friendly voice as he steps off the device.

“Do I have to wear the wrist harness?” He rubs where the looped fabric has reddened his skin.

“It kind of burns.”

You scrunch your face before replying. “Yes, you have to wear the harness. It’s a liability if you don’t.” you say, matter-of-factly.

“A liability.” It’s not clear if he’s parroting you or asking a question.

“Right,” you nod. You signed a contract.”

“I did?” his hand on his chest, genuinely surprised.

“Well, someone did,” gesturing to the plentiful staff of his company.

“What does it say?”

“It says the stadium isn’t responsible for anything that happens to you if you don’t use the moving platform as recommended, I.E. with the wrist harness.”

He doesn’t reply. “Sorry.”, you add. Just trying to keep you and your 5 friends safe.”

“6,” he corrects you.

“6 What?”

“There’s seven of us. Me and 6 friends.”

You quickly apologize, realizing you may have come off rude and too eager to leave. You have no idea who he is but he’s not the first diva you’ve dealt with. You turn on the charm and start sucking up to the talent, as your job often requires.

“But if the fabric of this one is too rough on you...,” you briefly rub your hand over the reddening skin on his hand. “I think I have one in a different material that’ll be gentler on your skin.”

He laughs shyly and smiles. It wasn’t your intention to flirt but his reaction made it feel like you were. It makes him seem a little young.

“It’s ok.” He laughs again, containing a smile. “It’s not too rough,” eyes glancing at your lips and moving to your eyes. The wind blows his dark hair over his face but you can still see his eyes. His near smolder throws you off, causing you to dart your own eyes down.

“Are you sure?” feeling blood rush to your chest and face as the distance between your bodies begins to close.

“Yes.” He thanks you by name after quickly getting a glimpse at your name badge. “Is that your job? Making sure everyone is safe?” Embarrassed by your initial touch, he seems more confident now.

“Sort of,” you reply shortly.

Really, your job is to prevent the venues from being sued. Charming (and albeit, sometimes flirting) with talent is part of the job, so, you’re not sure why this random has such a pull on you. Or why your palms are sweating and your mind is going foggy.

“Wait here,” you instruct.

He nods and you jog to an equipment room backstage to retrieve another wrist harness. This one is made of silicone instead of fabric. You hurry back to him and worry you’re out of breath when you return.

“Here.” You pull the moving platform to you, stepping on your tiptoes to unhook the fabric loop. He holds out his hand to take the new one from you. You offer it and he easily reaches to hook it on, making you feel small as you return back to your flat feet.

“Hopefully, it’s a bit gentler for you,” you tease, taking some advantage of his bashfulness.

“Thank You.” He smiles. Your bodies are closer now and you can feel his breath.

Swallowing, “Do you want to try it.?” Soap and cologne fill your nostrils.

“Try what?” keeping his lips parted, eyes searching your face.

“The harness.” You pull the still-hanging platform and hold your foot down on the device so he can step easily onto it again. He raises his arm above his head and you loop his hand through the strap. You pull the belted cables and secure them tightly around his waist, feeling rigid muscles under his oversized t-shirt. He winces when you snap the belt closed.

“Speaking of rough,” he scolds, looking down at you, the world closing in quickly on you both.

“Safety first.” One of your feet between his, holding him down to the stage on the small platform. You could’ve had staff do it but eliminating this closeness seems wrong. “Ready?” you say, hands hanging from his belt.

His eyes peek down at your lips again. “Ready.” You step off the platform and give a thumbs up to staff working the cables above the stadium. They pull him for a few laps, flying around, giving you a moment to compose yourself.

When he lands, you replace your foot between his. “Better?” you ask, rising to your tippy-toes to unloop his wrist, letting your fingertips graze on the top of his hand.

“Better,” he replies, smiling ear-to-ear now. You wrap your arms around his waist again to remove the cables.

Behind him, a group of men huddle together at the end of the stage, conspicuously giggling and immediately stopping when your eyes find them.

“Are those your 6 friends?” you question, as you unhook the belt, embarrassed that you acted as if you were alone.

He steps off and rolls his eyes, endeared. “That’s them.”

“Ok.” You rub your face, trying to coax yourself back into reality. “You’ll let me know if you or your friends need anything?”.

He nods respectfully and thanks you by name again.

“You’re welcome.” You offer a wave and turn to slink away. You cringe when he calls you again. You turn to find a sheepish grin on his face.

“Do you know my name?” he asks with a knowing look.

You try to be casual. “No, I don't. You don’t have a name badge like me.” You take another step forward, being pulled in like a magnet again, onlookers be damned. “I’m sorry. I don’t know who you or your friends are. Will you forgive me?” looking up, controlling the urge to pout at him.

He scrunches his nose. “It’s ok. Kind of makes me feel normal.”

Funny, he seems normal to you. Your faces are too close to call this any kind of “schmoozing” or “sucking up” but you can’t drag yourself away.

“Your name?” scanning him from head to toe.

He crooks his mouth and inhales sharply. “I don’t know, I kind of like it this way.” He leans in closer, voice getting lower. “Is there somewhere we can go?” tongue running over his cotton-candy lips. “I promise to introduce myself.” He's painstakingly bold now and not a second too soon because you’re practically putting on a show, center stage. “Or is that a liability too?” he teases.

“I guess that depends on how rough you plan on being,” you taunt back and he exhales a breathy moan. “Follow me.” He takes your hand and you lead him to the office buildings in the stadium, empty on a Saturday.

“Is this part of your job too? Seducing singers?” he asks, as you approach the glass doors. You stop in your tracks before inserting a key into the lock of the building.

“I am NOT seducing you.” Reflecting on the last few minutes, you hardly believe it yourself.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “And no,” you continue. “I’ve never done this before.” You insert a key in the lock and turn your wrist.

“So, why me?” a hand still clasped with yours.

“Still figuring that out,” you reply, opening the door. “I’d hate for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you, do you want to stop?”

He pulls the door open. “No.” gesturing for you to walk inside. You hardly make it in before he pins you to the wall right away, hooking his index fingers in your belt loops.

You look at him closely. “How old are you?”

“You first,” he says with a sly smile.

“Old enough.” You give him a playful shove.

Looking at him long again, “20.” you guess, sounding confident.

He grips around your waist. “How do you know that?”

You look up at him, thoughtfully. His lips are millimeters from yours. “Just a feeling,” you whisper. His lips finally press against yours, soft pecks at first. You breathe each other in and your mouth opens to him when he lifts a hand to the back of your neck.

He slots his legs between yours, heatedly pushing you harder against the wall. His lips move to your neck and both pairs of greedy hands squeeze and tug at each other's bodies.

Unfazed by still being visible through glass doors, you slip your hands under the belt of his pants to give his ass a squeeze and push his groin more roughly against you.

It gets more desperate, both of you panting and sweating through your clothes, still against the wall. He lifts up your shirt to grope at your breasts when you hear the speakers.

“Jungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk, let’s goooooooo! We need to get ready!”

You peek out of the glass to see two other members shouting for Jungkook into hot microphones. He lets out a heavy sigh and kisses you hard again.

“Jungkook ,” you whisper. Like a prayer falling from your lips, naming the pull of his gravity.

He looks at his watch which prompts you to look at yours. 5 o’clock.

“I have to go. Can I see you later? Are you busy?” still panting and pressed against you.

“Aren’t you?” running fingers through strands of his chocolate hair.

“Later, later. After the concert, 10 or 11. “You’re staying for the concert?”

“Yeah,” you lie.

His name still blares over stadium speakers. He groans and pushes his forehead to yours. It’s a relief that he feels stuck to you too.

You begin to offer, “I have a hotel nearby, you can…”

He laughs. “Sorry, I can’t really do that. Can I have your number? I’ll have my lawyer find you tonight.”

“What?” you ask, confused.

“You know… liability and legal stuff.” A hundred voices tell you to end this right now. And one voice has you unhooking a pen hanging from your name badge and listing digits on his hand.

He plants one more kiss on you and just like that, he’s gone. You let your back slide down the wall until you’re sitting on the floor, taking a moment before you head back to the hotel to change clothes, put on your staff badge to blatantly take advantage of your job and enter a concert you don’t have tickets for.

You re-enter the stadium without suspicion and blend into the standing room. Any sense of nervousness disappears. You lose yourself in the magic of the show and his talent on stage, now done up and dressed in almost a costume. Still beautiful.

At intermission, a stranger in a suit calls you by name and introduces himself as the lawyer. You walk into an empty office as the stadium still buzzes. He talks and talks and talks. Then, he takes out a stack of paperwork, a non-disclosure contract.

You sign in about a hundred places. You know better, you should be taking time to read and sign carefully but your mind is fogged with the idea of getting your hands back on him, whoever he is.

“Ok. You’re all set,” the lawyer says, after a final signature.

“What happens next?” wondering when you reap the benefits of signing your life away.

“He’ll be in touch, I guess.” The lawyer shrugs and you walk him to the arena exit.

The concert ends and you head to an office to wait, unsure if you should leave the stadium.

Finally, a message from an unknown phone number with an address and hotel room appears on your phone screen. A knot forms in the pit of your stomach. You feel compelled to tell someone where you’ll be going only to remember that you signed an NDA that forbids just that.

You try to reply to the number and an error message immediately returns. “Sender not available”.

What the fuck. You stop and take a deep breath. This could be dangerous and now it’s going beyond “sexy” danger. You try unsuccessfully to convince yourself to stop thinking with your genitals and about the sexy stranger you needed to finish that kiss with.

It doesn’t feel real. You open an internet tab and search his name.

What a mistake. All the blood in your body floods to your core, knowing this man was potentially waiting in a bed for you makes your mind even hazier. Before you can catch up to your thoughts, you rush to your car to drive the short distance to the hotel.

Silent security guards escort you through the lobby and up the elevator. When the doors reopen, Jungkook has his back propped against a wall, expecting you. His hands are in the pockets of sweatpants. He doesn’t look like he did on stage anymore. Not like the pictures. His freshly showered and bare-faced appearance disarms your anxious mind.

“I’ve narrowed down who you are,” you start. “You’re either a big deal or an axe murderer.”

He laughs. “What if I told you neither is true?” He pulls you close by your waist and places a quick kiss on your lips. It’s too casual, like some muscle memory you never knew you had.

“The paperwork? The spoofed phone number?” you gently scold, as he leads you to a door in the hallway.

“You still came,” he says, opening the room door.

“Yeah, what does that say about me?” walking in ahead of him and taking a moment in self-deprecation.

“That you want to finish that kiss as much as I do,” door closing behind him.

You smile to yourself as you face away, heart fluttering at the notion that his idea mirrored yours. You turn to approach him.

“It was a little more than a kiss,” you flirt, placing your arms around his neck.

“Yeah…” his hands wrap around your waist again and his lips hungrily find yours. He bites gently on your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you.

“Sorry if that’s a little rough,” he teases, taking his mouth to yours again letting his hands roam. He adds: “I promise i’m not ‘axe-murderer’ rough,” he chides, and you both giggle between kisses. You sink into the familiar and comfortable space, regardless of being actual strangers . You lift off his shirt, eager for what you felt earlier, running hands gratuitously over his chiseled chest and abs.

“Do you want a drink or…” he’s graciously offering between kisses.

“No,” breaking your lips just long enough to reply, knowing he’s got exactly what you need right now.

Clothes are tossed in the air and landing on the floor before he lays you on the bed and the heated pace slows. He mounts on top of you and places slow kisses down your neck and chest while lowering the straps of your bra and kneading your breasts beneath the fabric. He takes nipples into his mouth, warm tongue circling, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your encouraging hands, tangled in his hair.

He moves to your mouth again, offering his tongue, slow but deep. He pulls your panties around your ankles and allows the palm of his hand to slide against your thigh before he can reach his thumb to stroke between your folds, causing you to shudder. He sucks at the tip of his thumb and moves his hips to push his still clothed cock against your center. You wrap your legs around him, urging him closer, needy for his friction.

“Be back,” he says, leaving a peck on your cheek. He walks to a bag on a nearby table, rustles through and retrieves a condom. You sit up on the edge of the bed as he struts back to you. He presents the foil square between 2 fingers. You peel it open, looking up at him. The back of one of his hands strokes your cheek while his other lowers the waistband of his boxer briefs, revealing himself. You instinctively grip his shaft to plam slow strokes along his length and take pleasure in watching his eyes roll back.

You release your hand to pull the condom from it’s open wrapper, place it on the tip and use 2 hands to roll it down to the base before discarding the wrapper on the nightstand and pulling his underwear to the floor.

Leaning down to kiss you, he asks, “What do you want?”

You search for the words but opt to stand and silently guide him to sit back on the bed. He’s satisfied to follow your action as you straddle his lap and use your hand to brace his hard cock on your swollen center, rubbing up and down, slicking the rubber further. You guide yourself onto him, digging your nails into his shoulders slightly when you feel how he spreads you open, stretching and adjusting.

He groans when you reach the base, pushing down on your hips and shifting beneath you, getting deeper and widening your stretch. You whimper and squirm as you adjust.

“Too rough?” he teases.

“Not at all, '' you say, lifting your hips again and meeting the base faster. He pushes you down again, lifting his lap up.

“Good,” he breathes out, shakily.

You create a rhythm with your legs lewdly spread and circle your lower body, his shaft grinding against your sensitive walls, encouraged by his quickening breath.

His eyes are glued to your hips, watching them move. He slams you down a little harder, testing you. You both grunt when he meets the hilt.

You encourage his hand on your center, placing his hand on yours and setting the speed for him. He takes the cue and continues on his own, watching your face. You drop your head to his neck. He lifts you by your chin. “Let me see you.” The sensation is too much, and you're embarrassingly close. He quickens his pace below you, your own hips hardly moving anymore. You look down, entranced by his fingers. He uses his free hand to tug back on your hair.

“I said let me see,” you pulse around him at the words, a delighted smile on his face as he watches.

Still inside, he flips you on your back and buries himself balls deep inside you with an audible slap, bed rocking at the motion.

“Too much?” he sounds sincere.

“More,” you reply, challenging him anyway. He thrusts hard into you again with a sinister grin and keeps his pace, watching diligently as you take all of him. You whine at his deep strokes and he pins your wrists above your head, rendering you helpless as the pressure coils again at your center.

His grunts get lighter, whinier as he grips your wrists tighter.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you curse, and grope at his tensing ass cheeks when he comes. His thrusts become slow and shallow before sliding out of you. He takes a moment to lay his head on your chest before pulling and tying the condom off, tossing it.

He collapses beside you so you’re shoulder to shoulder and you fall into conversation, for too long and too late but you both delight in it, taking in more of each other.

“When can I see you again?” he asks as you prepare to leave, sunrise peeking through the curtains.

You’re a little surprised. The circumstances had you assuming this as a one-night thing.

“What do you mean?” you ask, unsure.

He gives you a suspicious side-eye. “Can I see you again?”

You attempt to shake down the guard you have up and smile at him.

“When?” you question, as his gravity pulls you back to the bed where he lies.

You lie side by side and compare schedules. It would be the first of hundreds of times you do this, comparing calendars and forcing your lives together.

You’re not sure when you stop forcing it but it’s happened. Now, 3 years later, you’re frozen at a fork in the road, torn to make a decision, knowing you can’t continue to drag him through your hesitation. You pick up your bag and head to the front door.

This first memory and a million others flood your thoughts.

When you saw him for the second time, weeks later, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. You remember his flattered, cheeky smile.

The time you both got food poisoning and shared the bathroom floor for 3 days.

Surprising him backstage one night and sucking him off before a performance. His face was priceless.

The time he was so exhausted from touring he just slept for the 15 hours you were together. And you contentedly watched until you had to part again.

Taking a spontaneous flight just to get tattoos.

When you told him you loved him on the plane. “I love you.” The words slip out effortlessly, you don’t even remember what you were talking about. He’s pleasantly surprised and almost proud that you say it first. He reciprocates your words and seals it with a kiss on your forehead. “I love you too.”

Playing domestic during quarantine and settling into a chosen family when the world comes to a screeching halt.

The look on his face when he fucked you in the mirror last night.

His disappointed face before he got in the shower today.

You don’t notice Seokjin until he speaks, passing by you on his way to the kitchen.

“Leaving, noona?”

You don’t respond, still facing the closed door.

“Do you need help with your bag?” he’s walking up to you now.

“Noona,” he places a hand on your shoulder. “Are you going?”

Part 3/4 HERE

[depressedacadamia]

Whataburger

Summary:  Leo and Will sometimes feel somesick which leads them into a whole load of trouble...

A/N:  Okay so first off what is 'whataburger'? Apparently its a just a burger place in Texas?? I didnt do too much research since I kinda rushed this fic (since I may or may not have 4 other ones that I need to write...). Either way, its day 3 of Will's bday week so thank you to @solangeloweek and there are 2 days left but I may turn it into a 7 day week birthday because why not? I hope you enjoy and please comment! <3 from Persephone

Read on A03       Masterlist

“Dya have it?” Will whispered as he grabbed Leo by the elbow and dragged him to a secluded corner, away from the presence of everyone else. These interactions had been happening quite recently and were always private.

“Yes, yes I have it. Are you sure no one saw?” Leo murmured back. Will nodded and the two quickly scuttered away towards the abandoned side of the lake, closest to the forest.

Nico had an unsettling feeling. 

He had had this feeling for what seemed like ages but in reality, it had only started up until very recently when he noticed Will was finding more and more reasons to ditch his friends. Will had never ditched one of their dates -unless there was an emergency at the infirmary that required the Head healer- but Nico had noticed his greater withdrawal when around large groups of people.

And at first, not much was thought about it. But as Nico began to dwell more and more, he noticed that every time Will withdrew, so did Leo and he was almost positive that he had seen them sneaking about once or twice around the camp together.

But Will wouldn't be up to anything like that, would he? Afterall, Will was a loyal boyfriend- right?

“Oh my god,” Will practically moaned as he took another bite in his burger.

“Calm down, it’s food, not sex,” Leo pointed out, munching on his fries.

“You're right for once but this time you got my order right and they’re still warm!” Will said in delight.

Leo nodded. “You’re welcome.”

The two boys ate in silence, gobbling down their burgers which gave them the greatest sense of nostalgia. For those who really don’t understand what’s going on, it was often that these two- the demigods in question being Leo and Will- would feel a sort of longing for their home: Texas.

They were both from there and they had to get up and move their lives suddenly- so suddenly that they had barely had any time to depart from their home. Despite it being inappropriately warm there, they did miss the home they grew up in.

And so one time when they both felt a very deep sense of longing, they banded together and boarded Festus- flying to Texas and back. Indeed, it was an overly ridiculous thing to do and they realised at once that it wouldn’t be as simple to do this every time they felt homesick.

So instead they decided on this. Whenever they felt homesick, Leo would fly to Texas and order them burgers from Whataburger. He then would fly back as fast as possible and they would both take immense delight in enjoying the nostalgic meal together.

Of course- Will couldn’t tell Nico what was going on. It would ultimaetely seem stupid and there was a possibility that Nico could get jealous- especially since they weren’t out about their relantionship yet.

So they agreed that no one could ever find out about their agreement.

“I got extras by the way- if you want them,” Leo passed Will the bag with extra food and Will happily picked out the fries.

“Do you want my pickles?” Will asked as he opened the burger and removed them. Leo, who could never say no to pickles, nodded and happily accepted them. This sort of routine and intimacy between the two became normal for them.

“I still don’t get how you can dip your fries in ketchup. Barbecue is the best sauce there is!” Leo cried as he stole a couple of Will’s fries, dipping them in barbeque sauce before eating them.

“Nu-uh, ketchup is way better than barbecue. It’s just so much more…” Will waited for the word to hit him as he took another bite. “Original.”

“Woah…” A surprised voice came out from behind them. Both of the boys shot towards the surprised voice, their faces frozen with panic. A younger camper- luckily- had stumbled upon them.

“Oh, thank the gods,” Will breathed outwards, in a calmer manner than before.

The kid quickly turned on their foot and ran back towards the camp. Leo and Will- not being disrupted anymore- continued their meal. Little to their knowledge, the kid would do much more damage than one could ever imagine a child could do.

Will and Leo walked back to the main part of camp, unaware of what would meet them. They had taken their time with their picnic and by the time they had returned, people were gathering by the bonfire.

“Ooooooooooooh, look who’s here guys!”

“Why didn't you say you guys were dating!” A voice called out.

“Although honestly, I really thought it was you and Nico.” Another voice mentioned.

And as Leo and Will were surrounded by misinformed campers, Will could have sworn he saw Nico mortified. Their eyes caught and as quickly as he had appeared in Will’s life, Nico slipped into the shadows.

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin’s Mini House In Detail 🏡

During the Mini House special events, I obtained all the furnishing items and had already unlocked all the furniture in the home so I thought for Gavin’s Birthday Week, I would share all of the little secrets it contains! 

Gavin has four sections of the house including-

Living Room

Loft 

Courtyard

Basement

This post also includes MC’s commentary and quotes from special happenings associated with Gavin. Special furnishes will have the coziness points indicated next to its name.

Please enjoy! 

Living Room

Soft Stool 

The white soft stool next to the tea table.

This stool is a must when Gavin watches soccer games.

The leather surface is very soft, and its height is just right for watching TV on.

Want to know the trend of the soccer lottery recently? How about asking about it? 

It seemed to have won all the recent games, and is both happy and lonely.

If his favourite team loses, Gavin will sit here alone. (#sad) 

White Sofa 

With so many pillows, you don’t have to worry about having no support behind you.

Is the white sofa difficult to clean? 

The bolsters are very comfortable.

Curled up on the sofa with soft ginkgo aroma.

“Gavin, do you remember what you told me?”

“I just want to be with you, just like this...”

“You still remembered!” 

“I won’t forget what I’ve told you.” 

“Then... Do you have anything you want to tell me this time?” 

Gavin kissed MC’s forehead gently.

- This special happening (Starry Sky) refers to the Furniture City Date!

White Table 

“Gavin’s Pad is placed here too.”

(It has a photo of MC and she says she will change it into the both of them next time.)

“I can add a snack box, but Gavin doesn’t really eat snacks.”

Hallway Cabinet

“Gavin waters the plants regularly.”

“These are often loose change on the cabinet which we can take before going out.”

“The silver ornament is a souvenir I bought when we went to Disneyland.”

The “Wavy Thing”

“I noticed a little “go for it” written on the most recently scrawled page of the notebook.” 

“I found a magazine that puts people to sleep in a second, which was necessary for insomniacs.”

Zoombot 

The black Zoombot.

Today I’m again busy all over the place saving Zoombot.

It’s a bit stupid and often gets stuck after hitting the furniture.

Makes a buzzing sound when working.

You threaten it: If you hang again, I’ll replace you!  

Music Stand

The music stand bought by Gavin.

On it are sheets of music scores printed by Gavin.

It will sometimes think that the small black table next to it is a bit short.

Sometimes Gavin uses in in the hanging chair to record melodies.

Gavin will print the music scores and put them on it to practice.

Flowers on the Wall 

Each flower is carefully selected by Gavin.

The front wall stores a variety of flowers.

The flowers on the entire flower wall are all preserved fresh flowers. 

Black Table and Seat 

Looking at it closely, it is the song that Gavin played last time. (Music score sheet on table.) 

It is also very comfortable with the little black seat cushion next to it.

The soft black cushion stuffed with cotton.

My exclusive seat for Gavin’s recital.

I bought it with Gavin when we were shopping at the furniture market.

Hanging Chair/Rose Hanging Chair (Coziness 88)

A great napping spot.

Here in the Leisure Time special happening, MC and Gavin talk about the swing they had in high school. MC is surprised that Gavin knew about the view of the sunset when being on it. He says he “passed by” sometimes. MC notes how the ginkgo leaves danced in the wind. He says, “they were gifts from another person”.

Heart-Shaped Chair (Coziness 28)

A cute small stool and a convenient storage box.

Gavin’s expression was a bit subtle while he sat on it first.

Alternating blue and pink hearts, as it’s a Valentine’s Day limited edition.

Surfboard Cabinet (Coziness 42)

It’s a new surfboard. Bring it next time we travel.

There are also other surfboards. Guess where they are? 

It says fly on the surfboard, like I can leap through waves with it.

(THEIR CUTE SHOES ARE NEXT TO IT AHHH)

Blue Lamp

A lamp that always blows bubbles from the bottom to top.

It’s beautiful and dreamlike when switched on at night.

Black Table on the Left 

“This looks like the score that Gavin played on the beach last time. I suddenly feel a bit nostalgic.”  - This refers to the Slightly Drunken Date!

“I found a picture of an asleep Gavin. He was sleeping soundly.”

Claw Machine and Carpet 

A dream-like claw machine. Gavin will add new dolls in it.

The inserted game coins can be taken out from the back of the machine and then reused.

A small black carpet in front of the claw machine.

I bought it together with the large carpet.

Red Bunny, White Bunny, Pink Bunny, Red Bunny, Grey Bunny.

Motorcycles 

The blue motorcycle sometimes want to compete with the opposite motorcycle.

The colour of the motorcycle displayed is sky blue. 

Maybe its name will be “Azure”? (because Gavin uses colours to individually name items.) 

Spring Landscape Display 

The landscape has been embedded into the window, like beautiful paintings.

Maybe there is a new world inside.

I can't help stopping to enjoy the view each time I pass.

Is designed for a wider view, improving your mood even when you're tired.

Winter Landscape Display (Coziness 61)

A corresponding landscape should be changed into winter.

Such heavy snow! Frozen river! Unfortunately, they are all fake. 

You can enjoy the red maple leaves and snow even at home, isn’t it wonderful?

Loft 

Painting

This is a word map that covers the entire wall.

Looking at it, Gavin and I have already been to so many places.

If you want to travel, you can find the destination on it in advance.

I'm willing to create memories with him in many more places.

Chandelier

The current iron style design is really cool.

Shines warm yellow when turned on, warming our hearts.

Display Cabinet  

It should have been a wine cabinet, but Gavin doesn’t drink, so it became a display cabinet.

The ‘little things’ between me and Gavin are displayed inside.

It looks empty now, but it will slowly be filled up in the future.

Black Tea Table

A black low table in front of the sofa.

I occasionally work here.

The star and moon deco piece is very beautiful, I picked it with Gavin.

You can put fruits and snacks on it while reading.

The wood texture had a matted quality with the black coat of paint.

Art 

Looks cold but is artistic.

Seems useless, but also seems cool.

Greenery

A corner with blooming flowers all seasons, is warm and restful to the eye.

Outside the window is a huge ginkgo tree, and the fallen leaves are like brocade.

I feel like it’s always spring with all these flowers around.

It compliments the scenery outside the window. (They have a ginkgo tree right outside their home!) 

Cabinet 

Photo framed have karmas from the Starry Date and the Romantic Date!

Decorative Cabinet/Snowman Closet (Coziness 49)

The two little snowmen stared at each other throughout the winter. (Cute little reference to the CN Recovery ASMR.)

It looks like a window at first glance, but it’s actually a cabinet if you look carefully.

And you could open it. Didn’t see that coming right? 

Starry Sky Wall (Coziness 52)

Today’s wish… I hope that Gavin…

I will accompany you to see the meteor rain which falls on this Earth.

Every moment a wish is realised, there will be a meteor streaking across the sky.

Dandelion Lamp (Coziness 43)

The lamp looks exactly like the grapefruit during Mid-Autumn Festival.

Like a burning sparkler, shining brightly.

Six light sources, not too dazzling nor too dark.

Festive Decoration Table (Coziness 57)

Although there are two cups of drinks, we can still drink from the same cup.

The sofa in the corner always makes people feel safe. 

Although we are only two people, I still chose two long couches.

The letter under the ginkgo biloba leaf, writes a love poem.

All the shopping bags represent his most flawless love.

The wide view allows you to see the scenery in the yard.

The soft white mat was added afterwards.

But it’s always hot under the sunlight, so the curtain is often pulled down.

Basement

Security Camera 

You are in a monitored area, please mind your actions.

Bulletproof Glass 

It’s not a normal screen, it’s bulletproof.

It's not often that one gets to see such a cool and HARD-CORE transparent screen.

Anyways, curious what’s in this wall.

Sci-fi glass wall in the movies.

The engraved badge is Gavin’s silent pride.

1-2-3... still shorter than it!

Gingko Tree

Seasons slip by soundlessly.

No matter how small their wishes are, they will become seeds and eventually bloom in gold.

All life’s little joys turned into gold.

It guards the serene life here quietly over in the corner.

(Gavin makes ginkgo bookmarks with them for MC. CRIES.)

Corner Resting Area 

These action figures are actually pretty fun!

The puzzle is all grown up. It should be able to piece itself back together. (LOL)

(Puzzle) Maybe finish it while Gavin’s gone? 

(Table) It sometimes thinks the table is a bit short.

(Chair) It looks hard but it’s actually comfortable to sit on.

Very spacious, but looks a bit empty.

Some decorations should be displayed here.

Sitting on a blanket is also very comfortable. You can also lean on the small pillow. 

(Carpet) This is a carpet. You can’t tell, right? 

The advanced smart carpet that is warm in winter and cool in summer is awesome.

(The book on the table is called ‘Kritik Der Urteilskraft’- The Critique of Judgement by famous German philosopher Immanuel Kant. It follows after the Critique of Pure Reason and the Critique of Practical Reason- the First and Second Critiques, respectively. The Critique of Judgment constitutes a discussion of the place of Judgment itself, which must overlap both the “understanding” and “reason”.)

“You need to take better care of your health.”

“Who was the one working overnight over the proposal the other day?”

“Alright, we’re birds of a feather, so... so both of us should look after ourselves for each other!” 

“Rest assured, I will. After all, it’s different now. I have you by my side.”  -Harmonous Compa Special Happening

Gavin’s Workspace

Accompany Gavin though every sleepless night.

This seems… No, I’m seeing things.

All folders are neatly organised and arranged.

A spacious table, with files and reports spread all over when busy.

I no need to worry about waking up from naps due to cold late at night.

I was reminded of some criminal investigation shows I have watched. Come on, Officer Gavin!

If this complicated case is made into a movie, it will be an exhilarating one. 

(Computer) A customised large-screen UHD model customised for work purpose.

(Computer) Work exclusive computer, only connected to intranet.

(Computer) The three auxiliary monitors can help keep the data safe.

(Chair) If you want to protect your waist, you should first have a comfortable cushion.

(Chair) if you work long hours, be sure to work in a comfortable chair.

(Board Area) What does it say? Ermm… Cats have nine lives? 

“Found a girl crookedly drawn next to a work record when he reached a bottleneck.” 

Airplane

This airplane model was assembled by Gavin himself.

The computer says-  Agent B-7

Team Operator S.T.R.I.K.E

Location Tracker 

S.P.Y Camera 

U4V Commando

Gunship Operation 

Motorcycle Repair Area 

Every vehicle is so cool in its own way! 

Hello, you are... Little… Erm… Let me think… 

With the strength to lift mountains and the spirit to take on the world! Ha! 

The robot arm is actually a simple robot.

For your safety, please don’t linger below it

(Motorcycle) I would like to greet my seniors.

Electronic Control Pad

Responsible for controlling the rising, descending and switches of the entire area.

On Spring Festival, it will say: Happy New Year, Sir!”

Sooner or later, fully automated smart management will be achieved.

Radio Office 

It’s an important communication device, and the only disadvantage is that it’s a bit heavy.

It’s actually a satellite phone, and it can receive signals everywhere.

Looks like the palm phone in the 90s. Oh no, I’ve exposed myself.

It looks like an electrocardiogram.

Don’t know how to use this weird device.

A thick laptop that it’s properly shut when not in use.

A cool eagle logo is printed on it.

Gavin used it only for special tasks and it will not be brought out.

LMAO MC DOESN’T HAVE ACCESS-

Courtyard 

Corner Seating Area 

A courtyard in sunny or snowy days are interested in their own ways.

Sometimes the unfrequented bolsters will envy the knee pillow.

It's’ wonderful when two people are sitting here reading, even if they don’t talk.

Standing barefoot on the soft lawn is very comfortable.

There's nothing nicer than basking ourselves when its sunny.

Binoculars

The white binoculars which you can see things several miles away.

You can use it to watch the stars when it’s not too cloudy.

But star-watching is clearer mid-air.

Seems to be the same binoculars as those in the scenic area.

The binoculars in the scenic area require coins, but this one doesn't.

Outdoor Lounge Chairs 

The new furniture I asked Gavin to buy.

Can enjoy the sunlight spa comfortably when relaxing. 

Closing my eyes, I feel like I’m lying on a beach.

The soft breeze and warm sunshine. This is life. 

Lying on it and looking at the blue sky and white clouds, your mind goes blank easily.

The blue and white clouds-

Leisure Table/Romantic Table (Coziness 52)

Lace tablecloth… I can’t imagine that it was chosen by Gavin.

The elaborately prepared dinner and roses, just for today.

A large sunshade on the balcony. (Black large umbrella.)

Bird Nest (Coziness 37) 

Once it was a pair of binoculars, now it’s a bird’s nest.

I bought it just because it was cute, but I’ll consider having pets in the future.

Birds flying by can also have a free meal here.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 2

****** 

Coffee. You use to drink it every morning but that became a bad combination with the wave of emotions you took on. In which you switched to tea. It doesn’t have the exact same effect as the coffee did but it worked perfectly in it’s own way.

Pouring the hot water on the teabag causes a swirl of transparent brown to fill the mug. The steam that rises warms your hand and you release a sigh.

Being distracted means you get startled when dishes start clattering behind you. You jump, spinning around to see who came into the kitchen without you noticing. Only to instantly relax when you see Steve and Rhodey.

“Hey guys.” You smile and wave.

Both men give you a smile and say good morning. 

A small conversation breaks out about some threat over in San Diego. Not knowing anything about it, and it being none of your business, you just fix your tea and a bagel while they chat. And when they’re done Steve is more than willing to get his session started.

Your last session with the man ended with him heartbreakingly sad. The topic of Peggy arising and being addressed.

He’d admitted to you that he considered going back. After Thanos, when he had the stones, he considered staying in the past to be with her. 

When you asked why he didn’t, he told you a number of things. Two important ones making the decision for him. One, when he found her, she was on a date with a man who would later become her husband. And two, despite his regrets over the past, he had things waiting for him in the future/present.

He had built friendships with Tony, Natasha, and Sam. And he had Bucky, his best friend since the beginning of time, or at least Steve’s time.

During this session you ask him how it felt to move on, not just from his second chance with Peggy but even before that, when he woke up from being frozen.

He’d started to tell you how hard it was and how he still doesn’t think he has. But he’s interrupted when his phone rings.

Much to your dismays, he has a mission he’s been called on and has to leave.

Before he walks out you stop him,“ you want some happy?” You seriously ask with a joking smile.

That’s how you’d described your powers to him, after he didn’t get the broader description the second time. You told him that you could take away his hurt and pain and give him happy.

Steve shakes his head,“ I’m good actually. Thanks though.”

Usually, with the busy schedules and occupied minds of the team, you have to go in search for your next patient. With Bucky you don’t. In fact you find him waiting just down the hall when you step outside your office.

Even though he wasn’t eager to be sharing his memories and feelings with you, he always made it a point to show up. You appreciated it.

You wave him over and he’s quick to walk down the hall. Bucky steps in behind you and sits on the couch as you shut the door. Despite the comfortability of the furniture he sits up straight, hands rubbing his knees.

When he glances up at you, you smile comfortingly. You sit in your chair, crossing your ankles as you hold on to your fresh cup of tea.

Like always, the super soldier remains nervously silent. It was a few sessions ago that you came to understand why. He isn’t nervous because of you, it’s the idea that he should know what he’s feeling and felt.

The man hasn’t processed an emotion properly in decades only to just recently be introduced to the concept of explaining his emotions. Plus the added anxiety of letting it all in.

Knowing he won’t be the first to speak you ask him,“ you want anything to eat or drink?” 

He’s quick to shake his head. Then looks directly in your eyes, for the first time today,“ do you, um, have any cracker jacks?” 

“I do actually, they’re in the cabinet to the left of the mini fridge.” 

After he’s gotten two boxes, he turns away, before grabbing a bottle of water and then going to sit. 

If it weren’t for Steve you wouldn’t have had any. The man said it reminded him of the “good old days,” getting cracker jacks when he went to see baseball games. Steve usually eats his with a Coke.

“Me and Steve use to buy a bunch of these and sneak them into baseball games. They were always cheaper at stores than the stadium.” 

A fond, nostalgic, smirk plays on his lips and you smile as well.

“Are you also a Dodgers fan? Steve spent our whole first session talking about them.”

When he chuckles you feel good about yourself and focus on his answer.

He nods,“ yeah, I like the Dodgers, but I think the Cubs are better. I used to like the Yankees simply out of loyalty to New York.”

“Do you not like the Yankees anymore?”

A sigh falls from his lips,“ no. They’re not the same. Then again, nothing else is either.” Before you can ask anything else he continues.“ I didn’t really know how to feel about missing decades of time. For a while I just pushed it aside, especially since I didn’t remember anything.”

His long pause makes you a little anxious. He’d started to open up without much from you and you didn’t want that to stop, you couldn’t help if he chose not to continue.

You ask,“ what changed?”

“Steve.” It’s a quick answer. Obviously he’s given this particular topic some thought.“ After my memories started to come back I realized I wasn’t alone in being so out of place. Steve missed just as much time as me and after I got better, after Thanos, it was nice to have someone to remember with.” 

Throughout the session you let him do most of the talking. Every so often he starts to shut down so you prompt him with an easy to answer question that seems to guide him into opening up even further.

By the time it ends, you’re incredibly happy with the progress. Seeing Bucky’s troubled and stressed expression drives you to asking him if he’d like you to take it away.

He was hesitant at first, you know it’s because of his experience with mind altering tricks. You assure him that it’s nothing like that. You don’t take his memories or thoughts away, essentially you pull everything he has to be happy about to the forefront.

Your powers aren’t permanent on anyone but it helps.

The man accepts and while he doesn’t leave with a bubbly smile on his face like Peter does, you can see that his eyes are lighter.

“Thanks for the chat Doc.” He smirks playfully when he mentions your title.“ And thanks for being patient with me.”

You shrug,“ thanks for letting me.”

After he’s left, you sit back down and finish off your tea. 

According to you schedule, your next patient should be Natasha, but that hasn’t been a thing for months.

You can’t help but wonder if it was something you’d done that made her not want to even try. Thinking about it, you’d done nothing but be kind to the woman, offering your help at first but then just telling her you would only listen if that’s what she wanted. Each attempt at reaching out failed miserably with the woman’s emotionless denial. 

One long glance at her name written in your notebook lit something in you and you knew you couldn’t just give up on her.

******

Natasha moves her body effortlessly. 

She uses attack combinations and take down moves that at, one point she thought was too hard to execute, without even thinking.

Which is good. If she, even for a second, allowed too many of her thoughts to break through she’d never stop. She’d become distracted and give her opponent too big a shot to take her down.

If she focuses on anything but doing these moves perfectly she’d fail and she can’t have that.

Yet another groan from the person underneath her causes a smirk to form on her lips. 

“Jesus Nat, we’re sparring you’re not trying to kill me.” 

She lets his wrist go and rolls off his back before offering him a hand.“ I think your retirement is setting in Barton.” She teases.

Rolling his eyes, he rubs his wrist,“ what? I’m in the best shape of my life.” The man mockingly pulls a karate pose.

Natasha laughs, making Clint smile widely. 

With him knowing her so well, it’s good to see the woman happy. Still he hears the heaviness in the laugh and knows that there may always be something holding her back from being genuinely, completely happy.

Part of him wonders if talking about everything would help her. He knows it helps him and he doesn’t miss the light air that’s seemed to encompass his other teammates lately.

Clint formed a greater appreciation for you over that fact. It was about time the team took a shot at healing themselves instead of ignoring their issues to fix the world’s. 

He wasn’t pleased, and still isn’t, to see his best friend so opposed to the help. Natasha is strong but she’s still human and holding everything in the way she does isn’t healthy. 

“Alright,” with yet another groan, he steps off the mats,“ I need to get home or I won’t have a good spot for movie night.” 

He salutes to Natasha’s wave, figuring the woman is going to be in the gym for a while. 

The door almost slams into him with the force that it’s thrown open. Stepping back, he just barely avoids getting hurt.

You stand on the other side, your determined expression slipping to one of shock when you realized you might’ve hit him.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were right there, are you okay?” You rush out.

Chuckling, he nods,“ all good, didn’t even graze me. What’s got you in such a rush?”

As if remembering why you’re there, you go back to being determined.“ Is Miss Romanoff in here?”

“Uh, yeah, she’s over on the mats.”

Nodding with a smile, you march past him further into the gym. 

Clint presses himself against the wall with every intent to listen in, whether Natasha knows he’s there or not. 

The woman is already looking at you when you step into view, trained eyes watching your every move as you approach. An eyebrow quirking in question when you stop at the edge of the mats.

“You didn’t show to our session Miss Romanoff.” 

She’d never heard someone’s tone be equally as warm as it is accusatory. 

She makes no effort to reply.

Moving forward, you step on to the mat, her eyes flickering to your shoe covered feet, then back up to your eyes to see how close you are now. Far enough away to not be overstepping any boundaries but close enough for her to see the fire in your eyes.

Admittedly Natasha is fascinated with seeing the emotion in your eyes. Ever since you got here she’d seen nothing but your perky, optimistic, “everything is going to be alright” attitude. Like this, she feels as though she’s seeing a new, slightly intriguing side to you.

“I know exactly what game you’re playing Natasha,” the way you say her name nearly makes her shiver. She’s not intimidated, but she could be.“ I’m sure you sized me up and categorized me as a certain type of person the second I got here but I can tell you now you were wrong.”

Her head tilts in the slightest, amusement flickering through her eyes. 

You continue,“ I am not going to accept you giving up on yourself.” That right there erases the amusement. Her expression hardens.“ I don’t know anything about you but the fact that you actively avoiding coming to see me is very telling.”

For the first time, since maybe your third day here, Natasha speaks to you. And you’d be lying if you said her voice isn’t as sexy as it is scary.

“Whatever you think you’ve figured out, you haven’t. And this power move that you’re trying to pull isn’t going to work.” Despite her control over her words you feel the emotions pouring from her statement.

The agitation radiates off her and sets your powers alight, almost enough to make you back off. Until you feel it. The smallest, microscopic, bit of fear. It’s buried behind her annoyance with you, and a mountain of other things, but you feel it.

“This isn’t a power move Miss Romanoff. This is me letting you know I’m not giving up on you. I don’t know what it’ll take to get you to come to your sessions but I’m going to try everything I can until it happens.” She’s glaring now but that fear hasn’t left.“ Tony gave me your very detailed file,” she stiffens,“ but I didn’t read it.” Que her surprise.

Her frown this time is a mix of curiosity and annoyance.

“When you come to see me I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to think I see you as whoever is on those papers. You will simply be Natasha Romanoff and I will accept whatever you’re willing to give.” You smile softly at the woman and step away.“ I’ll schedule you to come see me on Friday’s, that day is free for me so I will have more than enough time to chat. And you can try avoiding but I will come find you.”

Not leaving even an inch of room to argue, you turn and leave, giving Clint a little goodbye on the way.

It’s quiet for a moment. Natasha and Clint both processing what just happened. Clint gets it first and steps around the corner to look at his best friend.

“I didn’t want to push you into seeing her but after that,” he puffs out some air,“ I think it would be really good for you to go see her. She obviously cares, if that whole thing was to go based off of. She just wants to help, at least let her try.”

With one final smile, he leaves.

Standing on the mats, Natasha thinks. 

You were right. She did categorize you as the type of person who would just accept that she wasn’t coming. And if what you just did was any evidence, she was wrong.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o @nat-km-mh 

[eternallysarcastic]

winter moon/ch.3

Okay this took a little bit longer than I thought it would cause I had to figure out a few stuff in the story and its pacing. Good news is I have the next 2 chapters almost ready so the wait between this one and the next shouldn’t be too long! Comments are always appreciated! 

I also post this on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999362/chapters/71169963

Chapter 3

“So, ojou-chan, where are we off to next?” Childe asked you. You were still around the fire, everyone was still too wound up to really sleep - and that meant Childe, seeing as he was the only human in a company of non-mortals that needed little to no sleep.

  “We’re looking for leads as to where she might’ve gone. My stars- I followed her until Liyue and lost track of her. We need to find clues on whether she’s still in Liyue or if she left it.”

  “And she’s a yaksha, she wouldn't dare mingle with the mortals of Liyue Harbour. Most likely she’s as far from them as possible. Not many mortals can withstand a yaksha’s energy.” Xiao continued for you. The teacup Zhongli had handed him remained untouched.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, shortie.” Childe mocked from his place beside you. You could almost immediately see Xiao lose his temper, weapon conjuring in his hand. 

“Hey, hey, there’s no need for that. We should rest and continue on our way once the moon sets.” You tried to reason but Childe had already conjured his own dual water blades. 

  “Come, have some tea with me.” Zhongli patted the seat beside him. You sighed in exasperation as you sat beside him. He handed you a new, hot cup of tea that you gladly accepted as your eyes followed Childe and Xiao out of the cavern.

  “This is going to be a long journey.” You said, listening in on the sounds of blades clashing.

  “Are you sure Yin really is here?” The sudden change of topic startled you and you looked at Zhongli quizzically.

  “What do you mean?” Why would he suddenly bring up your yaksha?

  “My loss of gnosis is very recent. I don't believe I would’ve missed it if someone as powerful as a yaksha stepped onto my territory. Perhaps she is no longer here or she never was in the first place.” He stated as he calmly sipped his tea. “Or perhaps have you come here seeking something else?” He knew something wasn't right with you. He noticed it the moment he saw you, saw it in the way you talked and the moment you had first laid your eyes upon Xiao.

“I-...” He was as perceptive as always, that or because he’d known you since you were a newborn god, had trained you and watched you grow into the feared yet respected Celestial Goddess you once were. “There is something else, that’s true,” you replied. 

 You didn't know how to continue though. How do you explain the sudden desire you’d felt to come back to Liyue, the weird nostalgic feeling you had once you finally stepped in its borders, the constricting of your lungs when you’d first seen Xiao or the mysterious agony that had overwhelmed you when you’d seen the half-frozen tree. 

  Was Zhongli’s trust in you wavering? So soon? On another hand, perhaps he was right. He couldn't have missed the fact that a yaksha had stepped into his domain. He would’ve definitely felt it. Or was it something else? It seemed that since you’d arrived in Liyue there always was something else.

  “Nonetheless, my priority is Yin. I’ve never been this close to finding her. I can’t give up now, Zhongli.” You said, turning to him with pleading eyes. 

“You know I’d never refuse to help you, you don't need to look at me like that. No matter what you say, you are still the current God of the Moon and I would never disobey you.” He stated as a matter of fact, continuing to sip on his tea ever so calmly.

  A silent rage swirled in your chest as you turned your whole body towards him. “I want you to help me because you’re you and I’m me, not because of your duties as an Archon to obey the Celestials. I want you to help me because Yin fought for you in the Archon war when she swore she’d never fight again just because of what you meant to me. Because I know how much she hates herself that she wasn't there when I-” You cut yourself off, you didn't want to finish the sentence. 

 Zhongli’s eyes closed in phantom pain as memories he didn't want to remember resurfaced. Images of your lifeless body, covered in blood flashed before his eyes. He knew that if Yin was with you instead of with him, perhaps what happened to you on the night of your descent from Celestia wouldn't have happened.

 “I’m sorry, Zhongli.” You were just guilt-tripping him at this point with how you were phrasing things. You were never too good at expressing yourself with words.

 “You need not apologise. You are indeed correct. My duties to you as an Archon may be over, but I am still your life long friend and I am willing to help you find Yin no matter what.” If you didn't know him like the back of your hand, you’d say he was emotionless when he said that. But you could hear the underlying determination coming from his words. 

  You smiled at yourself as you drank your tea, “Thank you, Zhongli. I promise you she is here in Liyue. I can feel it. Her constellation has never shone brighter.” Zhongli hummed as he poured himself another cup.

      Something shook you awake from your slumber. You opened your eyes and was met with the golden ones of Xiao and the restless figure of Zhongli. You hadn’t even noticed you had fallen asleep the night before. 

  “Wake up. Childe is missing.” What? 

  “What? How? I thought someone was keeping watch?” You looked around - the fire had long been extinguished, the tea was cold and the moon still hadn’t set. By the looks of it, it was close to early morning.

  Xiao ran a hand through his hair in annoyance. “I was keeping watch outside and Rex Lapis came over to discuss… something. By the time he went back in, the annoying harbinger was gone.” 

  “I see… Then we have no choice but to look for him.” You pulled yourself up. What was Childe up to? “Since you were both outside when he vanished… then there’s only one direction he could’ve gone.” 

   The deeper you walked into the cave the darker it got. You couldn't hear any sounds, even Zhongli couldn't feel any vibration in the stone floor. It was as if Childe had disappeared into thin air. 

  “How much deeper does this cave go? We’re losing light. We should've brought torches.” Xiao pondered. 

 Well, you could help with that couldn't you? You took off one of your gloves and concentrated on the pyro vision within you and brought it forth to your palm, lighting the cave around you. The small crescent moon sigil at the back of your hand glowed gently in response. 

  “You shouldn't do that.” Xiao said, grabbing onto your wrist, looking at the fire, or more likely into the slowly reddening flesh around the flame. 

 Your body had the ability to wield all seven elements but the downsides to that were the fact that it couldn't adapt to just one. Cryo was too cold, Pyro burned you and Electro electrocuted more often than not. But how did Xiao know that? Sure, it wasn't hidden knowledge that the Celestial Gods possessed all elements but it was a strictly kept secret that your bodies couldn't withstand them for long periods of time, so that no one could use that weakness against Celestia itself.

  You looked at Zhongli in question, perhaps he was the one that told him. Out of all the seven Archons, only Zhongli knew of your predicament. But Zhongli wore the same confused expression you did. So how did Xiao know? You decided not to comment on it right now. You had a harbinger to find.

  “Don't worry, I’m okay. This is nothing.” You smiled softly at Xiao. It felt nice to have the normally stone cold yaksha care for something as small as a slight burn on your hand. If you had a heart perhaps it’d skip a beat.

  The deeper you went into the cave the more lost you got in your own thoughts about the previous peculiar events. Of Xiao’s knowledge and his familiarity with you. It felt so out of place.

  “I feel something.” Zhongli spoke up, his deep voice echoed inside the cave. 

  “What is it?” You tried to listen in but you couldn't hear anything. 

  “I can’t tell which way it's coming from.” In front of you were two long, dark corridors.

  “Do we split up?” The moment the words left your mouth, the ground shook beneath your feet. Xiao immediately held you steady by the arm while his free hand found purchase on the nearby wall. “I guess we don't need to split up after all.” 

  The rumbling of earth was coming from the right corridor. When the earthquake stopped, you walked forward following the loud noises. You could see an exit at the end of the constricting tunnel, dim light that wasn't there before, shining through it.

  Out of nowhere, Xiao gently grabbed your wrist again. “You should extinguish that before we go any further.” Ah, yes, Childe wasn't supposed to know. You quickly extinguished the flame in your palm and was about to put on your glove when you noticed Xiao wasn’t letting go of your wrist.

  “I know some herbs that help with burns. We should look for some later.” He said, looking intently at your reddened palm before finally letting go of your wrist and walking forward. Instead of the wound itself burning, it was the skin that he had touched along with your reddening cheeks. 

  Before you could dwell on the action even more there was another earthquake and this time you could hear the sounds of fighting and… a roar? What exactly was at the end of the tunnel? You hurried til the end of it just in time to watch Childe being thrown high into the air by what seemed to be a moving assortment of… boulders? It looked like big rocks being held together by pure elemental energy. It stood in the middle of a giant cave opening with light shining through a hole in the ceiling.

  “I haven't seen one of these in a long time.” Zhongli seemed all to calm as he mused with a hand on his chin. 

  “Comrades! Took you long enough to join me!” Childe had noticed you from across the field and waved enthusiastically before he was thrown into the air once more. 

“We should help!” You ran without even thinking, the instincts beaten into you kicking in. Xiao told Childe you had an electro vision, so you had to be mindful not to impulsively use any other element. That seemed easy enough. You could do it.

  “Don't run into danger out of the blue!” Xiao growled from behind you as he ran after you and toward the stone creature.

  “I wonder if they can take down a geovishap by themselves and her… being able to use only one of her elements, she’s not used to that.” Zhongli stood silently at the sidelines to observe you fight. He wondered if you still used the techniques he taught you. 

  “I am not going to believe you if you say you only heard of the commotion until now.” Childe landed beside you and wiped the blood at the side of his mouth.

  “Where did you even go?” You asked him, paying half attention to the stone monster’s position. It seemed to have backed up a little, wary of the newcomers. 

  “My hands were itching for a fight after the disappointing one I had with this little adeptus,” Childe replied, panting. 

 He looked a little beaten up which surprised you a little. When you'd watched him fight Xiao last night, he looked like a very talented fighter.

“You were really this disappointed over losing? Don't fret it, not many can beat me.” Xiao said from beside you. 

 He looked just a little bit smug, which put an annoyed expression on Childe’s face.

“I didn't lose! I was just -” 

  “Can you stop fighting for just a moment? We need to find a way to stop this thing.” You interrupted him. 

 You didn't need them fighting each other and the giant boulder that looked as if it made up its mind that you were the enemy and was getting ready to charge at you. 

 “We can't attack it head first without thinking of some strategy. Not many elements work against geo creatu-” You stopped. 

 Childe was already charging at it, a water bow in his hand and trying to shoot the tiny shiny thing on its forehead. Something you guessed was a potential weak point. You sighed in annoyance and looked at Xiao, trying to silently communicate to him. He gave you a small nod. You both charged at the monster, following Childe. All the while you manifested a white sword in your hand, infusing it with as much electro as you could muster.

 Childe’s water attacks didn't even phase the monster, you tried to stupify it with your electro charges but it wasn't’ working. Xiao was trying to immobilise its feet but it proved futile. It’s geo skin seemed harder than any other geo enemy’s. You knew if you and Childe weren't there to get in the way of his attacks he would’ve been done with the monster already.

 You noticed that last night, too. How swift and fast his movements were, with every swing from his spear precise and thought out. The way he moved felt like art to you.

 “Nothing seems to work against it.” You said after you put some distance between it.

 “We just need to take out that silver sigil from its forehead.” Childe jumped next to you, having been flung yet again in the air. “I accidentally awoke it by placing that thing into some engraved stone. Never thought it’d awake a giant angry boulder monster like that,” he chuckled. 

 He was enjoying this, this fight and the fact that he couldn't beat the creature as easily. The masochist.

 “I need to take a closer look. If the right strategy would be to try and take out the sigil then why do you have us trying to beat it into submission.” You looked pointedly at Childe and he only laughed at you in response. 

 “I’ll watch your back while you try to get close to its forehead. Be careful of its arms - they may look like they are not even going for you but when they hit the ground, it’ll send you flying.” Xiao spoke. He didn't have one scratch on him, his fast movements evaded every attack of the monster.

 “As much as I’d like to continue this exciting fight, I guess we do need to head out soon. Be careful, ojou-chan.” Childe winked at you and then he was off.

The harbinger distracted the creature while Xiao leapt around you, watching its every movement, deflecting some of the strikes coming towards you. After jumping around, circling around the creature you managed to land on its back. The moment it felt you it tried to fling you off, shaking uncontrollably. Yelping, you tried to hold onto some of its stone scales and slowly climbed up to its head. 

 Its head was even more unsteady than the rest of its body, swinging it around wildly. You were just about to grab the sigil before you lost your footing and nearly slipped off save for one hand trying to desperately hold on. You struggled to pull yourself up as you were swung around. You barely managed to grab onto the sigil, eyes widening at the symbol on it before you were completely thrown off from the creature. 

  Your thoughts were still fogged with the surprise you felt to even try to land a clean landing. You closed your eyes and braced for impact, but it never came. Instead you felt warm arms catch you and swiftly jump from stone to stone. You opened your eyes to see Xiao, eyes concentrated on not getting hit by one of the many crumbling stones.

 Looking back you watched the creature continuously hit the ground with its crumbling arms, creating one shock wave after another. This couldn't be good and Xiao knew that as well.

 “Hold tight.” He muttered into your ear as he held you closer. 

 You weaved your arms around him and hid your head in his neck as you watched the creature wail pitifully as it crumbled away into nothing. However, the ground still continued to shake as it split in two as the ceiling caved in on itself. It was complete chaos from that moment on.  You watched Childe stumble before he was steadied by a stone pillar made by Zhongli who you guessed was nearby, after that you lost sight of them both.

 The last thing you heard was Xiao’s curse as more heavy stones fell and everything went black.

[astermacguffin]

Okay, since my fucked up mind is not content with only one angsty Time Travel Destiel fic, here's a concept for a three-part fic series:

1. Time loop

For context, this is set in a Post-Darkness world where the BMOL plot doesn't happen because I said so. Mary still comes back here tho. (Jack will still happen in this world, but that's for the next parts.)

During a solo case, Dean gets stuck in a time loop. (Turns out that some ruptures in spacetime opened after the Darkness invading Earth and God almost dying.) Sam is more than a day away so they can't meet before the loop starts again, restricting Dean's access to Sam, Mary, and research to phone calls.

Dean prays to Cas and he teleports there, only to realize that it's also a spatially-bound type of magic, so now they're both trapped.

No one else remembers anything after each loop aside from Dean and Cas.

Because Cas artificially intruded the rift, all the loops keep on trying to kill him. So not only do they need to solve the case, but Dean needs to constantly keep Cas from dying.

Feelings are explored along the way. Dean learns the incredulity of keeping his feelings hidden after plenty of alone time with each other (as well as watching multiple iterations of Cas dying).

Only Dean can heal the rift because he started the loop. After their love confessions, they form a plan. Cas possesses Dean (in a very eroticaly charged way) and intermingles his grace with Dean's soul. The power of gay love saves the day and the loop is broken.

2. AU Hopping

The loop is broken and Cas escapes with his memories intact, but Dean slips through the rift instead.

Turns out that mending the rift gave Dean the power to travel thru different realities, but he cannot pick which world he ends up in after each hop and what time he enters it.

He goes through different AUs (except Apocalypse World bc it's stupid). I want to give Dean as many Problems Disorders from this AU hopping, so the worlds he get to visit are worlds that fuck him up.

In one world, they manage to leave hunting behind after Sam establishes a network of hunters, form alliances with friendly supernatural creatures, and make their existence public knowledge. (Dean will remember this world and take insights with him.)

In one world, Jack is born an actual baby and AU Dean and AU Cas raise him together. (It's important to remember that Main Dean has not met Jack yet bc he doesn't exist in his world just yet.)

In one world, Sam is a lawyer married to Jess, John is alive, Dean doesn't go to hell and is still hunting. The apocalypse is prematurely stopped and he never meets Cas. (Dean does not like this world, for reasons he won't explore.)

He continues world-hopping for so many times to the point where he finally lost count. It must have been years already. He still haven't found his way home.

A couple of times, he becomes tempted to just stay in one of the worlds where Cas is available and they can be together. The residual grace inside him protests against this.

The most important world he visits is one where he ends up in a cabin owned by Cas. He examines this Cas closely and then realizes that he's met this Cas before; it's Endverse!Cas.

Dean asks if he's in Endverse, but Cas just shakes his head. Apparently, this Cas is also a dimension-hopper now. Turns out that the rifts appeared all across the multiverse.

Endverse!Cas survived the ambush, reaches Lucifer!Sam, and gets thrown into one of the rifts as some kind of sick mercy kill. He also survives this and then quickly learns his newfound ability. The skill makes him nostalgic of his wings.

Endverse!Cas has been doing this for centuries. When he tells Dean about this, the man is shocked. "Haven't you noticed that you have not even aged a day even a little? Your body has been frozen in time ever since." They're both technically immortal.

Dean stays the longest in this world. He wants to learn as much as possible from the more experienced dimension-hopper, but he also wants to learn more about the man himself. (Oh, and yeah, they totally hook up.)

This Cas knows that there's nothing left for him in Endverse, so he just reveled and enjoyed the traveling. He's been in a relationship with more Deans than he could ever count (and some with the visited world's Cas as well).

The cabin they're currently staying in was owned by that world's Dean, who just died a year ago. Cas has done his grieving and he can leave anytime soon, but he has spent the longest time with this Dean in particular, so he can't bring himself to leave just yet.

A part of him wants to stay in this Dean-less world, because after centuries of doing this, he has given up on ever finding the One True Dean that would fill whatever gap is within him. He has resigned himself to staying here for as long as possible.

At one point, Endverse!Cas asks Dean to stay with him in this world. Or if he doesn't want to stay, they can dimension-hop together for all eternity. Dean declines, saying that he has someone waiting for him.

Endverse!Cas examines him with an unreadable look, as if he can see the grace swirling inside Dean (perhaps he can), and gives a loose smile. "Well, good luck with that. I hope it doesn't take you centuries."

Dean calls him out for the unnecessary rudeness, but he seems unfazed. Cas tells him to enjoy his few precious years with his loved ones when (not if) he eventually returns. "Oh, and when you're done with that world," Cas hesitantly utters, "just look for me, okay? You know how to call me."

Dean starts traveling again, unsure if he made the worst or best decision ever.

3. Time skip

Dean hops a few more times, but eventually he enters a world and he suddenly KNOWS. The grace inside him sings in joy for finally being in the same world as its owner. He's finally home.

He arrives at his own world, but at the wrong time. He's already 15 years too late.

Sam is married to Eileen and they have a child now. Mary has a girlfriend. Cas is now a father and Jack is grown. (Yes, Jack still happens here but Lucifer is immediately dealt with and we never see him again. Good riddance. ❤️ The Chuck plot doesn't happen here as well bc Jack deserves a semi-normal life and not be burdened by godhood.)

Sam being physically older than Dean will definitely give him more Problems Disorders. Seeing Jack all grown will also fuck with his head. ("How long was I gone, Cas?" "Too damn long.") I think Mary having a girlfriend is the least shocking news for him.

It it important to remember that this Cas is the one who escaped the loop. He REMEMBERS what happened. He knows that his feelings for Dean is reciprocated and he waited all these years for him to come back. This would also fuck with Dean even more. "I missed so much of your lives. Why even wait for me?" "Why wouldn't I?"

Dean helps Sam strengthen the network he's established with other hunters using everything he learned from dimension hopping.

The big question of this third fic is: Will Dean risk hopping again? There will be multiple times where Dean thinks: maybe if I try hard enough, I'll land on this world on the right time as well. (He definitely got better at hopping after his stay with Endverse!Cas, but there's still a risk that he'll never get back to this world. The multiverse is vast, after all.)

Dean decides to stay at the end. Yes, he missed a lot, but now he's gonna make up for lost time. And hey, now that he's an immortal spacetime traveler with an angel husband and a nephilim son, he can spend the rest of eternity with them happy.

Is it obvious that I'm very obsessed with time-related tropes? I wrote this in one sitting last night bc this has been marinating in my head for a long time.

[alittlebitgoofy]

if you want it make a move (taywhora)

part 2!! surprised i did this so quick but motivation happens, I'm not sure if it went right, I'm still new to this but we trying. we stan emerald for betaing, love it when someone is shocked i write canon compliant now skdjhfksjdf

title is from yours by now now

ao3 link 

The drive home was monotonous, despite the entertainment of Bimini next to him. Tayce felt the hangover from last night dully present throughout the day. It filled him with a bit of dread to realise tonight would end up much the same. Perhaps he could hold back on the alcohol, though with A’whora around, that didn’t seem like a possibility. He hated the taste of it and yet loved to get drunk with people. Tayce learnt that one after many a night of drinking. The more he had, the more he’d egg Tayce on. It led to many horrible hangovers but it was part of what made his roommate so fun.

Speaking of A’whora, said roommate was constantly texting him. Clearly, the clingy behavior wasn’t just a result of the alcohol. Tayce chalked it up to excitement. A’whora loved a party and celebrating the end of their journey on the show was something they had to do. They wanted to send it off well and have a fun night to remember.

“Is that A’whora again? Swear she never leaves you to breathe.” Bimini giggled as Tayce’s phone vibrated again. He could only laugh it off, knowing the connotations of it all but not wanting to deal with that. The sexual tension was the most annoying thing, Bimini knew his aversion to it but it made jokes all the funnier to most people.

“He’s a right hound, was drunk calling me last night asking when I'll get home when I’d already told him.” Tayce couldn’t help but smile a bit in memory of the night before. It was stupid and by no means should have entertained him but there was something cute about someone so genuinely missing him after only a day apart. This was their thing to celebrate and he craved it as much as his roommate did.

“Aww, he misses you. That’s cute.”

Bimini teased, with Tayce barely able to hide the blush forming at the idea of it all. There was a part of him that missed the idiot when he wasn’t around. Something about his goofy smile, dimples showing whenever he barked out a laugh that was reminiscent of a seal. It made his heart squeeze in a way no one else could. The absolute hound, having the gall to be that cute.

He stayed uncharacteristically quiet, participating in conversation with Bimini every so often but staring out the window texting A’whora more than anything. Thankfully Bimini didn’t comment on it, assuming it was the hangover and not the thought of the clingy boy he called his best friend.

---

The realisation that Tayce didn’t have his phone had come quickly after entering the door. A’whora was there offering his own to call and sort the situation. It came to the conclusion of them mailing it back, with Tayce frustrated about the amount of time without his phone but thankful it was safe and he’d get it back.

A’whora helped take his mind off it, jumping at the chance to pull him into a tight hug and whisper how good he was in the finale. It was a brief moment, and Tayce wanted nothing more than to throw his bag in his room and chill out for a bit before they started celebrating.

The table that got set up was nostalgic, it looked like a kids party, with party rings, sausage rolls. The staples of a party for children, but it added to the warmth bubbling up in Tayce. They’d gotten a huge cake from some company he’d forgotten the second A’whora told him.

A’whora seemed delighted by it all, reveling in how the table was set up. Tayce couldn’t help but laugh at how focused he was on the aesthetics, always the designer.

“Wonder how easy it’ll be for you to get drunk, my favourite lightweight.” Tayce smirked, poking A’whora’s shoulder as he let out a huff.

“I am not! You can’t drink that much more than me anyway, you hound!” He exclaimed, gently shoving Tayce in protest.

“You take 3 or 4 drinks to get tipsy, don’t kid yourself.” He deadpanned, A’whora pouting in response, refusing to confirm or deny the statement though they both knew it was true.

His guess was right, on the fourth drink A’whora was sneaking closer, clumsily trying to get his attention without causing too much of a distraction. Their roommates would hound them the second they realised something may be going on but he was too busy buzzing from the alcohol and close proximity to Tayce to care.

Tayce himself wasn’t far off, a few drinks in, beginning to feel the alcohol in his system. Though there were some shots involved too, he still wasn’t as bad as the mess nestled into him.

A’whora was glued to his side for most of the night; the more drinks, the more giddy the pair became. Everything felt real now, the show had ended and it was supposed to be sad but in the company of each other it wasn’t. They were so glad it happened, reflecting on it all and sending it off like this just felt right.

“I’m so glad we got to do all of this, isn’t it wonderful?” A’whora mused, briefly philosophical before turning his attention back to the cake in his lap. He kept leaning over to offer Tayce some, despite being fully capable of getting his own slice, this felt better. He felt something in him flutter at the affection.

“Yeah, feels like we’re free now, we got on the show, we did it. Now we get to live our best lives with that experience,” Tayce agreed, and even though it amused him a bit to see A’whora become a suddenly philosophical drunk, he had a point.

“You did so well in the finale, I’m so proud of you.” A’whora turned to him, soft brown eyes shining with admiration. Tayce wanted to avoid the gaze, to avoid dealing with the emotions it brought but that was just his talent. He looked so genuine in the statement, Tayce had never needed someone else’s approval, though this felt different. It wasn’t in the same way people always said it. A’whora genuinely looked up to him, it was cute.

“It was fun, I think we all knew Bim or Lawrence was going to win, took a lot of pressure off of my shoulders.”

“You’re my winner.” He didn’t try to hide the tenderness in his voice. The brown-haired man stared at Tayce like he was the only person in the world. His smile melted Tayce down to his core, pulling down any walls to just focus on him, here and now.

“You’re such a softie.” Tayce’s voice was also tender, pulling the smaller man into his arms, as if he needed protecting from anything in the silent room.

It was at that point he noticed everyone had gone, that it was just him and A’whora in the room, so much space around them but unable to pull themselves apart.

He shifted in Tayce’s arms, turning to face him. His face morphed between a few things, at first neutral, then into a goofy smile before something more thoughtful, Tayce knowing the look all too well. He was going to ask something, possibly something Tayce didn’t want to answer and it would be hard to say no to those eyes.

“Tayce, why do you never talk about your feelings?”

There it was. The emotional drunk A’whora, wanting nothing more than to open himself up and have someone do the same in return. Tayce wasn’t closed off to the idea, though he hated to be pried open. It was his choice, and no matter how much he trusted A’whora, he wouldn’t be able to do it on demand.

“I do, just don’t spill my vulnerability because that’s not how I deal with it.”

“You know what I mean, you’re never fully open with me. LIke I’m always the one bearing my heart and you shut yours out even when it’s only us.” A’whora frowned, eyes falling to the ground. It looked like tears were starting to build up, Tayce not knowing if he had it in him to deal with emotional crying drunk A’whora while he was gone himself.

“I know you don’t like being vulnerable, but I can tell you have feelings. Wouldn’t it be easier if you admitted it? We could be happy, but you just want to hide that part away, like it’ll go away when it clearly hasn’t.” A’whora continued, not waiting for a response and cutting Tayce deep. He was speechless, he knew deep down they were both aware of it, but it hit differently to hear it said out loud. His face spoke for him, eyes wide and flickering everywhere that wasn’t his roommate. This wasn’t a conversation you had while drunk, but it seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice with A’whora’s persistence.

Tayce tried to formulate his response, to honestly tell A’whora about his fears, not wanting to ruin the strong friendship they had and not feeling like a relationship would be good. It could work, they both knew it. They got along so well; they had amazing chemistry. The only thing stopping them was the hesitance.

The only thing stopping them was Tayce.

Maybe he should stop getting in his own way, and let himself try something outside of his comfort zone. Relationships were the one no-go in his life but why did they have to be? He didn’t have to be powerless at the idea. A’whora deserved better. So he kissed him, not waiting to think it through. A’whora was startled at first, but returned it enthusiastically, his arm snaking its way around Tayce’s shoulder to pull him in ever so closer.

They fell apart, trying to catch their breath as Tayce noticed the blush on A’whora’s face.

“Are you blushing? You give me this whole speech and you’re taken aback when I do something about it? You’re adorable.” Tayce’s face lit up, poking A’whora’s cheek and delighting in how flustered he looked.

“I’m not! The alcohol is making my body warm, you hound!” He futilely protested, blushing further as Tayce snuck closer, hand placed firmly on his chest to feel his racing heart.

“You’re an awful liar, it’s cute.”

A’whora jokingly shoved him, hiding his face in his hands as if it would help the situation.

“So do you want to do something about it? You were all talk last night, back it up, Georgie.”

If A’whora had anything left in him, it fled his body at that. He was left like a statue frozen at Tayce’s sudden shift. He could only lean into his hands as one cupped his face, pulling him into a more desperate kiss. Tayce wanted him, and he would let him have everything.

[folderolsfollies]

Sangyao Arranged Marriage.... III

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Word Count: 2.7k  Rating: T Warnings: None to date (Besides discussion of canon events)

Nie Huaisang idly notes that it had taken three servants blanching and running through the halls of the Jinlintai at the sight of him freely wandering through its gilded passageways before he’s caught. He tears his gaze away from a beautiful and entirely inaccurate mural commemorating Jin victories during the Sunshot campaign. There’s Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun in front of him, pieced out in larger-than-life gold. Jin Guangyao, the hero of the Sunshot campaign, is absent from the scene.

He fully turns when he recognizes a quiet but unmistakable pair of footsteps. Jin Guangyao, alone, moves with a leopard’s prowling grace.

“San-ge, thank god you’re here! I got so lost…” he lies hurriedly before Jin Guangyao can say anything, clasping onto his arm. This close, the warm, spicy smell of cloves curls towards him. “Oh! You smell nice,” he says, entranced into losing his train of thought, and leans forward, to where the scent is deepened by the heat radiating out from Jin Guangyao’s jugular. “Have you remembered my trick with the incense?” he says, remembering frozen nights in Qinghe carefully draping his long sleeves over the incense burners. At the time, Meng Yao had kept his sleeves sensibly bound to the wrist, but Nie Huaisang had noticed the hungry way that he had stilled to watch all these invisible tricks of the gentry from out of the corner of his eyes, even back then. It had been the first time anybody had wanted to imitate Nie Huaisang. It had been the first time Nie Huaisang had felt the urge to impress someone, stirring new and strange within him.

“I will always remember your kindnesses, Nie Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao replies in the present, polite to a fault, and admirably suppressing his clear desire to ask what exactly Nie Huaisang is doing in Koi Tower. His San-ge, always so thoughtful! “The Jinlintai welcomes you.”

Nie Huaisang finally remembers his twice-stated promise, and, releasing his arm, darts backwards from him like a startled fawn.

“Jin-er-gongzi, thank you for the hospitality,” he says formally, and bows as deeply and as properly as any Lan.

Strong hands catch him from beneath the elbows before the arc of his bow is complete, and he’s hauled back into a standing position. They stand there for a long moment, with Jin Guangyao’s hands wrapped tight around his forearms, and Nie Huaisang’s hands gently draped on his arms. For a moment, Jin Guangyao’s face is startled into openness, as he looks at Huaisang with his large deer-soft eyes, and Huaisang looks back at him.

There’s a lock of Nie Huaisang’s hair, braided for the dust of summer travel, curling around Jin Guangyao’s sleeve and tickling his wrist. Jin Guangyao swiftly tucks it behind Nie Huaisang’s ear, his thin, cold thumb briefly brushing over Huaisang’s cheekbone. His fingers flex against Nie Huaisang’s scalp, briefly, before he releases him, and Huaisang beats down the brief impulse to envelop those cold hands in his own warm ones.

“Let’s go to my office,” Jin Guangyao finally says, and smiles, a small, reflexive thing.

The room Jin Guangyao brings them to is bright and well appointed, and utterly impersonal. There are no decorations. It is the office of a bureaucrat. It is the office of someone who can leave it at any time. Nie Huaisang, kneeling across from Jin Guangyao at his plain desk, feels suddenly desolate at the idea of bright Jin Guangyao entombed in this dingy room. Even in Qinghe, stark as it was, Meng Yao’s office had a few scattered effects, even if it was mostly scraps given by Nie Huaisang. Huaisang wants to give him something beautiful, something that would chisel him into the very walls.

He’s been silent too long. “San-ge, if I get you a fan, would you hang it there?” Nie Huaisang says, pointing randomly at an alcove in the corner. He’s sure to make the words sound artless, casual. Nie Huaisang knows enough to spare Jin Guangyao the sensation of pity.

It must work well enough, because Jin Guangyao says indulgently, “Of course, Huaisang.”

“Don’t just agree with me! What if it’s awful?” Nie Huaisang says.

“I doubt you would ever choose anything that was not in exquisite taste,” Jin Guangyao demurs.

For some reason, at that, Nie Huaisang flops on his elbows and sighs heavily. He thinks he sees Jin Guangyao’s lips twitch up briefly from the corner of his eyes, but when he darts a glance up at him his face is smoothed into placidity once more.

A servant comes in, bearing a tray laden with the dainty little walnut cakes Nie Huaisang favors, placing them on the table to Jin Guangyao’s polite murmur of thanks.

When she leaves, Nie Huaisang leans in, hiding them both under his fan. “Ah, San-ge, what was her name?” he asks.

“Tang Zhu,” Jin Guangyao says in response, and doesn’t ask why Nie Huaisang was curious, sparing Nie Huaisang from having to answer that he simply wanted to see how quickly he would answer, plucking facts out of his well-ordered brain. Sometimes Nie Huaisang’s thoughts spin out from him, wild and untethered and frightening; at those times, Jin Guangyao’s straight-pathed mind settles something deep within him.

When Meng Yao had first entered the Unclean Realm, there had been a long stretch of months when Nie Huaisang had been anxious and sulky about this new addition to Qinghe’s roster, the slight figure at his brother’s right side who carried no saber and who had nevertheless earned such a large portion of his brother’s respect. It had lasted until the day Huaisang had trailed him silently through the secret passageways of the realm to see him pinching off crumbs of bread for one of the stray cats that jostled around the gates. He had felt an affection tinged with the bloody edge of loneliness. He’s like me, he had thought. He could be like me.

He had looked at him then. Jin Guangyao, only two years older than Huaisang, had seemed to have a steady presence that burned brightly within him, outshining any golden core. And Nie Huaisang never really stopped looking at him.

He spreads his fan in front of his face. He has a sudden hope that Meng Yao remembers how they’d use his fan as a silent method of communication with each other back in Qinghe, the way a brisk tap meant rescue me, a shift from hand to hand meaning, watch out! Da-ge coming. When he twists his wrist he thinks with each flutter: trust me, trust me, trust me. “Jin-er-gongzi, how are you settling in?”

Jin Guangyao looks trapped between exasperation and banked amusement, and Nie Huaisang feels such a rush of nostalgic affection that it makes his teeth hurt. “It would be best if you do not refer to me as such in Koi Tower,” he says instead of replying, lightly scolding. “Our positions are dissimilar.”

Nie Huaisang tilts his head unhappily, but smiles to cover it. “Then you’ll be my San-ge. What would you like to do while I’m in here distracting you?”

“I’d like to do my work , Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, pointedly, picking up a sheaf of papers on the table.

It gives him pause. In Qinghe, Meng Yao was as familiar to him as the downbeat of his own heart; Jin Guangyao in his Lanling gold has new expressions he doesn’t know how to read. Has he been presuming too much on a friendship grown stale through time? He doesn’t know. He has to know.

“Then forgive me for encroaching on your time, San-ge,” he says, penitently. He may have pulled the words from a drama. “I can see myself out.” He stirs to leave.

“Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, and stops. Hope blooms in Nie Huaisang’s chest like a rose, flowered but barbed. Jin Guangyao’s lies are quick and fluent, easy to surface. Deliberation means he’s close to the truth. His smile is a little sad at the edges. “I can spare some time,” is what he settles on. “What brings you to Lanling?”

“Mostly, just avoiding Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang says, shamelessly. He feels giddy, pricked all over with excitement at the familiar cadence of the conversation.  “He’s been after me to keep to a training schedule.”

“He only worries for you, you know that,” Jin Guangyao says patiently.

“Ah, I know, I know that,” Nie Huaisang says, “but this is peacetime! Surely the point of the war was to actually enjoy the rewards of peace.”

“Sometimes leadership demands sacrifice, even if it is peacetime, Huaisang,” says Jin Guangyao, offhandedly. Nie Huaisang puts his fan on the table.

Are you happy? He thinks. But then again, when he knew him best, Jin Guangyao was many things, and happy wasn’t necessarily one of them. When he thinks that he feels such a melting tenderness towards his old friend he has to hold his own hands.

“You always work very hard,” Nie Huaisang agrees. “But San-ge, shouldn’t you enjoy some of the rewards of peace too?”

“Nie Huaisang, you are not subtle,” Jin Guangyao chides, but his smile has turned more fond.

Caught out, Nie Huaisang grins back at him. “I’ve badgered Da-ge into finally letting me host a yaji for the next full moon, you should come, if you can make the time.”

“If I can make the time,” Jin Guangyao echoes neutrally.

“San-ge,” Nie Huaisang, pouting, “I’ll even sweeten the pot; should I invite someone for you?” Jin Guangyao will suggest Lan Xichen, who will be a good buffer between Da-ge and San-ge; he waits for confirmation.

Jin Guangyao looks down at his papers. “It would be a good opportunity to strengthen your relationship with some of the tributary sects. Some of the smaller sects produce fine artisans, like Laoling or Dingtao,” he says, neutrally.

Nie Huaisang tosses his hair back in exasperation. Jin Guangyao looks up again, tracing the arc of its movement. “You know that’s not what I meant, San-ge - wait, since when does Laoling produce artisans?” Laoling, a minor city kissing Lanling’s borders, produces golden maize in the summer, sticky purple jujubes in winter; it does not, to Nie Huaisang’s knowledge, produce any scholars of the Great Arts. Jin Guangyao’s smile freezes; Nie Huaisang feels triumphant. “You’ve been holding out on me, San-ge! Who’s in Laoling?”

Jin Guangyao ducks his head, affecting a modesty Nie Huaisang is sure is feigned: “Lord Qin’s eldest daughter. Now that my brother’s engagement is secure, it’s time to start thinking about my own marital duties.”

“You wish to marry... Qin Su?” Nie Huaisang asks, astonished. Qin Su is sweet, Qin Su is pretty, in a delicate fashion, and Qin Su has a winsome manner that would, Nie Huaisang imagines, make a person who cares for such things want to sweep her up in their arms. Nie Huaisang would rather be swept up, but he is not blind to the appeal.

“She is a generous and loving woman, and she would make anyone a fine wife.” says Jin Guangyao, and there is an admonishment cloaked in his even tone. There’s Jin Guangyao’s protective streak again, and it sends warmth into Nie Huaisang’s chest even as it feels odd, to hear it directed on the behalf of someone else.

“No, I know that,” says Nie Huaisang, so blankly that it seems to mollify Jin Guangyao. “But I had thought… Zewu-Jun…” he trails off, suddenly aware that he is shown more of his hand than he had planned, but helpless against the rush of curiosity. Zewu-Jun is the top cultivator of the cultivation world, the pride of Gusu Lan. Nie Huaisang could never possibly strive to his heights - it exhausts him thinking of trying.

That would be the caliber of a suitor that he would find for Jin Guangyao. That was the caliber of a suitor he had thought he had found for Jin Guangyao.

Jin Guangyao’s eyes glint, and for a second Nie Huaisang is pinned under a piercing gaze. Jin Guangyao has not looked at him like that for a long time, and there is a small, hungry part of Nie Huaisang that would take the anger, if it means having the honesty. “You should be careful about what you think, and who you tell your thoughts to,” Jin Guangyao says. There you are, Nie Huaisang thinks.

Nie Huaisang makes his mouth twist. “Ah, I’ve upset you,” he says mournfully, “I only want you to be happy.” Jin Guangyao doesn’t smile, precisely, but his gaze softens slightly.

“I’m sure you do,” he says.

But something within Nie Huaisang thrums like a badly plucked qin. So that’s the type he likes, he thinks, without knowing why. Agitated, he taps blindly at his wrist with his fan. It’s then when he realizes that to many, a betrothal to Jin Guangyao would be seen as an insult. It feels like a betrayal to remember, but a greater betrayal to have forgotten.

(Once, Da-ge and him had overheard a chef say “What a pretty child the young master is, too bad about the mother.” Da-ge had her thrown out the next day.)

“I’ll set aside your usual room, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, in lieu of asking how long Nie Huaisang is planning on staying, which is rather deft of him. Nie Huaisang squirrels the phrasing away for safekeeping and raises his hands placatingly.

“Ah, no need, no need, San-ge, I just stopped by to say hello before proceeding to Lanling! Between the two of us, it’s a little difficult going shopping in Qinghe, everybody knows Da-ge there,” he says, knowing that his face is steadily turning more flushed and batting cool air at his face with his fan.

Jin Guangyao’s face is as smooth and impassive as a creamy block of white jade. “And what would Nie-er-gongzi need in Lanling that you wouldn’t want your brother to know that you’re buying?” He tilts his head, smiling as serenely as ever.

Nie Huaisang squirms and points at him with his fan accusingly. “Ah, you’re teasing me! That’s so unfair, nobody would ever believe me if I tell them that you have a sense of humor.” He wrinkles his nose against the laughter that threatens to bubble out of him. Decorum, Huaisang.

Jin Guangyao raises his eyebrows. The dimples deepen. “And who would you plan on telling?”

Nie Huaisang grins back at him. “You know I can’t tell anyone, you’re the only person I can actually gossip with.”

“I don’t indulge in gossip, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says primly, which is an obvious lie, and has been since the day Nie Huaisang had first met him. “It’s frivolous, and detrimental to the spirit.”

“But San-ge, I’m very frivolous,” Nie Huaisang points out. “Spare a thought for us lost causes.”

“You’re not a lost cause,” Jin Guangyao says, and for a moment he looks almost angry, the raw emotion rippling across his features the way a shark fin breaches water. He calms, and smiles placatingly. “You’ve been raised to this, you and your brother both.”

Jin Guangyao lies. Huaisang knows this. But sometimes, he lies to craft the world into a better shape than it is.

Nie Huaisang smiles at him. “I’ll invite the Qin family at the end of the month; I want to help you.”

He watches Jin Guangyao come to a decision. “You’d be putting me in your debt,” he says, as if doubtful.

Nie Huaisang thrills. “No debts between us, San-ge, we’re brothers!” he says, full of innocence, and watches Jin Guangyao relax in increments - softening his brow, the corners of his eyes, the rigid line of his shoulders entombed in layers and layers of fine silk. That’s never been true, but what would the thoughtless Second Young Master know about obligation? The trick with trapping a wild animal is that you can’t let them know that you see them, or it gives the whole game away.

“I have to go now, there’s only so much time before Da-ge figures out I’m not actually at Lotus Pier,” Nie Huaisang explains, with a trace of regret. He places a hand on Jin Guangyao’s slim wrist as he moves to leave, silk and skin nearly indistinguishable to the touch. “But it was good to see you again, Yao-ge.”

Jin Guangyao blinks slowly down at the hand at his wrist, and then upwards at him. “The pleasure was mine entirely, Huaisang.”

[jeanbo-kirschtein-blog]

Just venting so you may as well keep scrolling

Things are kinda weird for me rn. My little brother is off to uni on Monday so things are gonna be strange already. I don’t even like him much but it’s still gonna be odd with him gone.

Admittedly I’m not even remotely sober tonight but with everything in a state of flux here I’m getting really nostalgic for a period of my life that wasn’t even good. Like I was a total fuck up, I was depressed as hell, I was mangled on such a cocktail of bullshit I barely even remember anything, and I’m so much happier now than I was back then. But I just. I miss the chaos you know? There was a pretty long period in my life where I wouldn’t spare a second thought for the future and just lived in the chaotic, miserable and beautiful present. I miss getting monumentally fucked up, I miss the soul crushing lows and I miss the moments of unbearable beauty. 99% of the time I hated life didn’t want to keep going, but there are nights that have such a special place in my heart. Like, nights with people I don’t speak to, in places I haven’t been for years, that made me feel ways I never want to let go of. There’s a genuine fear I hold deep down that I will never have another moment in my life that captures the impossible, gut wrenching love for this world I felt back then.

There’s one night that always sticks out to me, and a moment in that night that I hope continues to live in my mind rent-free for the rest of my life. I was on two tabs of acid and a fat dose of 2-ce, I was completely fucked up, complete ego-death, breathing in time with the universe. And Me and a few of the peeps I was with that night sat on top of a hill in a town of no-consequence- just the most inconsequential, nowhere town you can imagine- and watched the sunrise through the clouds, over the woods and hills. For me, the sky and clouds stretched out like an endless expanse of snow and ice while the sun emerged through the frozen wasteland of time. Without exaggeration I think it was the most beautiful and moving thing I’ve ever seen. That image is burned into my soul.

That’s the image that I think of when I think of that period in my life. And sweet fucking christ do I miss the way I felt in that moment. I hadn’t felt it before, and I haven’t felt it since. And I miss it. I hate so many things about how my life has turned out because of the way I was back then. But, if given the chance to go back and live my life all over again, I don’t think I could bring myself to change any of it. I just couldn’t. I would probably fuck up the trajectory of my life, lose all the friends I ever had, and wallow in the deeply burning indignity of the worst moments of my life all over again. All to experience those fleeting and disparate moments of overwhelming beauty and reverance.

I don’t want to be the person I was back then again. I’ve cut out all the parts of me that made all of those moments happen. The self loathing, the self centred arrogance, the substance abuse. It’s been over a year since I even smoked weed. But with me brother going off to to be better than I ever was, I do genuinely miss it. There’s comfort in the sadness. Beauty in the chaos. Love in the heart break. I’m not sad that I am the person I’ve become, I’m not sad I’’m not the person I was anymore. But I still miss it. With all my heart I miss it.

[ravs6709]

These Feelings Inside (How Deep Do They Go)

Chapter 2- A Broken Heart

Read on ao3.

Masterlist. Previous. Next.

Woo, chapter 2 of the fic for the @kotlc2021collab! Fun fact, like all of this chapter was supposed to happen in the first one, but I got carried away with the prologue (which I do like)

Anyways, this is a mermaid (siren) au, so its about time we meet a siren. I've mentioned last time that this was inspired by Siren's Lament. I didn't use those lyrics as the siren song, and instead made my own (with very loose inspiration from SL's version)

And uh... I did record myself singing it, and made a post for it. If you want to listen to it, you can go here! (I'll put a link at the end too)

Warnings I guess? Uh, Sophie goes through a whole panic section at the end. And then the siren lures her and it's indirectly said that she falls off a cliff/whatever and into the water and starts drifting off. Idk how to label that but yeah

Anyways, enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Sometimes, I'm still surprised you keep them," Biana said, gesturing to the various flowers that were in the corner of Sophie's room. "I mean, if you ever want him to look at you differently, you're going to have to make a move. You know that, right?"

Even without saying a name, Sophie knew that she was referring to Fitz. It took a long time until she'd admitted the crush to Biana, who had already known. She always liked keeping the flowers that Fitz gave her, and would keep them for as long as possible. They might not be what she wanted, but she still appreciated the fact that he even gifted the flowers to her in the first place.

"It's not like I've kept them all," Sophie pointed out.

She ignored the fact that the ones that she had thrown away were too old to be kept.

Unfortunately, Biana knew that. "If they didn't wilt so easily, you'd be keeping them all. But you ignored my question. You know that you'll have to make a move, right?"

"Biana, he gave me a yellow rose first. He's the one who made his feelings clear first. What am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, I've had a crush on you for like eight years now, and I never mentioned it before because you've been giving me signs that you clearly see me as a friend? Is that what you want me to tell him?"

Biana shrugged. "When you say it like that…"

"Even if saying that did work, it's not like I'd be able to actually say it. My brain just runs non-stop but then the moment I make eye contact everything just stops."

"Sophie, when has he not been understanding of you?"

That was true. A lot of people didn't take the effort to try and understand Sophie, but Fitz did. The way he was so respectful- despite the fact that it should have been basic decency- was one of the numerous reasons why Sophie loved him.

"I know he'll be understanding, but that's just going to make things even more awkward."

"I guess. Should we go down now?"

"Sure."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Oh, Fitz, you're here! What are you doing?" Sophie asked.

While he did come over often, he was usually busy on Thursdays, which was why Sophie was surprised to see him.

"I'm free this time, so I figured that I'd drop by," he explained.

She liked that he was around for the visit. Working at the shop wasn't boring, but it was more entertaining when she had someone to pass the time with. 

He walked closer to her, and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Also," he whispered. "I'm making sure that plans for tonight go well."

She glanced at Biana for a moment, who was on her phone. Sophie whispered back. "Your house or mine? I think yours would probably be better."

"What's the movie for tonight? That movie Biana said that she wanted to watch?"

"That's the plan."

"I don't get why you two always get secretive about the birthday movie night," Biana said.

Both Sophie and Fitz spun towards her, and it turned out that she still wasn't looking up from her phone.

"We've been doing this for years ."

"It's the birthday spirit we're trying to achieve, and you know that!" Fitz defended.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

•~•~•~•~•~•

The couches at Everglen were really comfortable. It was even more comfortable to be sitting with her friends. The birthday person was often the one who sat in the center, and Sophie smiled as Biana wrapped an arm around her. Occasionally Dex would join them, but he wasn't available this time.

The movie was playing, but they were only somewhat paying attention to what was going on. Sophie paid more attention to the clock, which showed 11:58 p.m. Just two minutes away from midnight, or Biana's birthday. She counted down the seconds, until it was finally time.

"Happy birthday!" she cheered.

"Happy birthday!" Fitz repeated.

"Thanks, both of you."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"You'll be fine, right?" Sophie asked.

"Sophie, it's just one day," Edaline said, exasperated. "You don't have to feel bad about taking a day off."

"Tell us how the game goes!" Grady added.

Biana's university team had managed to make it to the finals for volleyball, so Sophie and Fitz planned to go support her. But it also meant that neither of them would be at the shop.

"You'll text me if you need help though, right?"

"Yes, we'll text you. You can leave, it looks like Fitz is waiting for you." Edaline pointed to the entrance, where Fitz was indeed standing.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" she said, before kissing them both on the cheek.

Fitz took her hand as they walked to the car. She concentrated so hard on trying to stop herself from blushing that she didn't realize when they stopped walking.

She'd been pining after Fitz for around eight years, and her feelings had gotten easier to work with. Most of the time, at least. But during the times like this, those feelings that she suppressed would fight to be released. He was casually affectionate, which was great (sometimes she found it hard to initiate the contact, no matter how much she wanted it), but it constantly did things to her heart.

Each time it happened, she had to remind herself that no , he wasn't flirting with her or acting out of romantic interest. That was just how he was.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, let go of his hand, then went in the car. It was silent on the way there, but she needed that silence in order to prepare herself. She took out her headphones once they were almost there.

"Sophie?" Fitz called out.

She responded with a hum.

"You know how it is. If it gets too loud, squeeze my arm."

She hummed again.

Then they arrived, and made their way to the seats. Biana was brilliant on the court, and she seemed to be doing even better than usual. By the end of the game, the cheering got loud, but not bad enough that it hurt. Biana's team had won by a decent amount.

"Congrats, Biana!" Fitz cheered once it was over and they met up.

"It feels unbelievable, because that was the finals? I can't believe we just won!"

"I knew you could do it," Sophie stated.

"I mean yeah, but the other uni was also really good! Guess it wasn't their day, huh?"

"It was definitely your day though," Fitz replied.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I hate the fact that horns exist," Fitz groaned.

"What, so you like being hit by blue shells?" Sophie asked.

"Obviously not! But I like hitting you with them!"

"If you're able to get blue shells, it's clear that you aren't good at the game!"

It was game night again, and they were playing the newest version of Mario Kart, a game that was nostalgic to them. They were sitting in Sophie's room this time. Biana wasn't there, as she was busy studying with Dex.

"Look, if you aren't second place all the CPUs are there and you aren't safe," he retorted.

"Then just don't be third place? It's not that hard?"

Somehow, he managed to actually do that, and was quickly approaching her kart. It was the end of the final lap, and he passed her. But she got a red shell, shot him right before the finish line, then won first place.

"Excuse me?" he shouted. "Why do you get the red shells?"

She turned towards him with a smirk, only to be startled by the proximity. All she could see were those teal eyes, and the snarky reply she had planned to make was now forgotten. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to barely be breathing. It felt like time had frozen.

Could she take the risk and close the gap between them?

Should I?

Before she could make up her mind, he turned away, and he even moved slightly further away.

He's keeping his distance…

The realization was a hard blow to her, because that wasn't something he had ever done before. Was he that bothered by it?

"I thought you were good at the game," Fitz teased.

But unless Sophie was imagining it, his tone wasn't as lighthearted as it usually was. She tried to channel the frustration and use it to focus on the game, but she was doing worse. Ninth place. She hadn't scored so low in a while.

"Looks like that was the last game," he pointed out. "I'll head home now."

"Bye, Fitz."

She winced at her voice, because she was doing a terrible job at pretending that she was okay. Once she was sure that he left, she buried her face in her hands and just sat there. What was going on? Was Fitz mad at her? That would be the only reason why he would distance himself like that.

But why? Did she do something wrong? If she knew, she'd try and set things right. But what was she supposed to do?

Even though her room was large, she felt restricted. Too small, too hot, too suffocating. She couldn't breathe.

Her actions after that were a blur. She'd grabbed a sweater and went outside. She walked aimlessly along a path. The area seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't tell where she was.

The wind was cool against her face, the only thing that kept her remotely aware of her surroundings. There may have even been rain too.

Breathe. You need to breathe .

The voice sounded strangely like Fitz's, and it reminded her of when she had a panic attack and Fitz was there to help her. But he wasn't here this time. Was he going to start avoiding her? What about Biana? Did she have a problem with her too? W-

There was a hum, loud and melodic. She looked around for the source.

 

'Oh you, with that broken heart.'

 

"Who's there?"

 

'You, whose life's falling apart.'

 

Almost as if against her will, her mind replayed the moment of Fitz turning away from her. The rain fell harder, making it harder to see anything except her own imagination.

 

'Have you come here to the sea,

To drown in your memories?'

 

If Fitz and Biana were going to distance themselves, what was she going to do? Ten years worth of memories, were they just going to be tossed aside?

 

'The weight of them is too strong,

Crushing you, it's all so wrong.'

 

Different memories kept emerging. Her first meeting with Biana. Her first meeting with Fitz. Exchanging flowers with Fitz. Weren't the worst memories the ones that started off good? They were the ones that had you soaring, until you're being dragged towards the ground.

 

'May the waves wash all the tears,

That you've gathered through the years.'

 

Sophie knew that she could show her emotions around her friends, but she hated doing it. She had a tendency to suppress her sadness and tears and right now felt like a good time to just let it out.

Very distantly, she could feel herself walking towards the source of the singing.

 

'But what if there was a way,

To make the pain go away?'

 

Was that a thing? She hated doubting her friends, it hurt so much. But if she could just not worry, wouldn't that be better? Wouldn't that ease so much of her pain?

 

'To leave behind your sorrows,

Enter a new tomorrow.'

 

If tomorrow could come and ease away all of her pain, shouldn't she take that chance? Her foot caught against the ground, and now she was tumbling forward, and fell into the water.

 

'I have an offer for you,

You can start your life anew.'

 

The fall was by no means something that snapped her out of her daze, but Sophie found herself slightly more aware. Starting your life anew? Did she want that? Did she want to leave behind the people she loved?

Wasn't that what she worried Fitz was doing? Throwing their love away?

Sophie thought of the memories that they'd shared. It hurt, but they were the best memories that Sophie had. Would it ever be worth it to throw away all those good times just to abandon a potentially bad one?

I want my life , she told herself. I'm happiest with them. But… it's hard.

 

'You can escape the abyss.'

 

The voice was so much louder now, and she tried to move away, but her body wouldn't move.

 

'All I ask is for one kiss.'

 

She couldn't see, and she could vaguely feel a pair of lips press against her own. She was just drifting, in both her thoughts and the sea. She kept drifting until she could no longer feel anything.

•~•~•~•~•~•

You can find the song here!

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