#because executive dysfunction and school
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i’ve always found it so funny the way kiwi is so annoyed with the order fairy. this bard is Not Amused!
3 versions of the same image because the computer i drew it on does not have access to internet currently, so i had to take a picture on an ipad camera and it’s not super high quality. sorry about that! these were the best i could do
#wandersong#bard wandersong#kiwi wandersong#order fairy wandersong#also this is my first full piece in like. 7 months#first wandersong related full piece in over a year#i mean i’ve drawn lots of wandersong in that time#just no full pieces#because executive dysfunction and school#and limited computers#unfortunate#i hope to do more this year#fun fact kiwi has been my first drawing of the year#two years in a row!#i had a doodle page of em last year
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Got diagnosed with adhd lmao
@wathav you were right 🙄 /j
#sillyposting#adhd#AuDHD#she had me so scared because she was saying my attention was actually really good on the qb test#I was like if she says I don’t have it I’m going to lose my mind#but she said I still met the criteria for adhd and actually had more hyperactive symptoms than innattention#which is WILD to me#and I feel is not very accurate but if it gets me meds I do not care#got lots of imposter syndrome about this but pushing it aside under the goal of ‘who cares about the diagnosis#if I can get meds that help me stop failing at school from absolute dogshit executive dysfunction#that I’ve had for as long as I can remember’#anyway trying meds fucking HOORAY.
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE 😭#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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I AM!! PUTTING GENUINE EFFORT INTO GETTING A HEALTHIER SLEEP SCHEDULE!! 🎉🎉🎉 *crowd cheering.mp3*
#YAY ME#NO MORE GOING TO SLEEP AT 4AM AND WAKING UP AT 6AM ON SCHOOL NIGHTS BABYYY#THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ACTUAL AND CONSCIOUS EFFORT INTO THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AMAZING FOR A STUBBORN BASTARD SUCH AS MYSELF#AYYYYYY#the only problem is that my body got used to living with only 2 hours of sleep and won't!! let me get tired at reasonable times!!!#i am SO AWAKE at 3am it's kinda bad....#Its not even insomnia- its the ✨️ unmedicated crippling executive dysfunction ✨️#my post#just wanted to share this because i felt very proud of myself for it!! it's very silly and childish but I AM a child- shaddup#silly chatters
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My aunt when my disability is disabling me in not a stereotypical way: 😧😠 "Why don't you just [thing I'm limited in because disability]! I also have [disability] and I don't struggle with this at all! You're just a lazy child!"
#help#She claims she has adhd too#But won't accept that my executive dysfunction is way stronger than hers#And that my adhd is not just I can't focus#I can focus for a short time#but it's exhausting#And draining#fuckin adhd#adhd#actually adhd#adhd problems#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#adhd things#I can sit still#But my brain can't and that's what's distracting me#And my meds are classified as almost-drugs and I don't like taking them#But I currently still depend on them because of german school system#And anyway they're just making my brain quieter#Which also impacts my thinking ability
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ok i lied one more tag rant
#i have been flip flopping between thinking my school failings are a personality defect/laziness or poorly controlled adhd#and oh my god i actually read an article on executive dysfunction and it almost made me cry#working memory problem solving critical thinking are allimpacted#along with planning and organization#and im so mournful because i used to be a good critical thinker i used to be a problem solver#now im just helpless. ive devolved#i feel like the potential i had was killed but i dont know how#ive always had adhd and depression why now. what changed
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im Posting today clearlyq
#its because i really dont wanna pack i am having an executive dysfunction day#let me do nothing because ive had to do school a lot#ari opinion hour
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task paralysis sucks so fuckin bad. whether it's stuff I do for passion like writing, editing, recording for the voice acting project I'm a part of or stuff I need to do like rehearse my lines for the school play or even just answer a text message my brain prefers to just think about it rather than do it. and the longer I procrastinate the more scared I become of doing the task, like the universe is going to scold me for being late or something. it's caused me to steal as a kid because I was afraid of returning books to the library after forgetting, it's caused me to lose friendships because I was scared to re-initate contact with past friends after not speaking with them for long, I've held off drawing digitally even though I got a tablet two birthdays ago because my ADHD simply wouldn't let me touch it and those aren't even half the times it's screwed me over. all I can do is just lay in bed wanting so badly to write, record, draw, edit, do anything but my dumb fucking brain is holding me hostage over my stupid perfectionism and low attention span. we don't talk enough about just how shitty executive dysfunction is.
#probably shouldn't admit to theft on tumblr dot com but it was the school library and my aide returned them for me at the end of the year#also i was like 9#i feel bad for hoping people will relate because this shit sucks to deal with but man i need some solidarity when it comes to this#executive dysfunction#task paralysis#adhd paralysis#adhd#actually adhd#adhd problems#lukas rants#hila has spoken
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i'm so fucking tired of school w/adhd and anxiety
i get good grades. like usually REALLY good grades (not quite straight A but almost straight a with 2 AP classes and other challenging classes)
but if I have a bad day or if somethings not interesting I just don't do it?
but my mom gets really pissed when I have missing assignments and then she tells my dad and he gets really pissed and I'm trying to be better and I'm trying to fix it but my ADHD meds don't work and it's so hard to do my homework and I wish they'd stop putting so much pressure on me
at least I only have [REDACTED] amount of years left of school
but nothing works to fix this and I have a D in one of my AP classes right now because it's the start of the semester and theres only 3 assignments in the grade book so far and one of them is missing and my parents are going to take my phone away if I don't get this done and make me do homework in the other room and the other room is even worse focus wise and i'm SO TIRED OF SCHOOL
but also school isn't all bad the three things I actually care about are at school (my friends, theatre, and choir) too bad it's the weekend
#my parents aren't that bad they just. don't understand. and I wish they did#and i wish they left me alone because it would be way better than the amount of stress I get from this#school#vent post#adhd#executive dysfunction#anxiety
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And for more rambles this evening: Why HAVEN’T I played Tokyo Mirage Sessions 🤔
#It’s literally like ‘What if persona?? And fire emblem?? together????’ (Except they executed the concept in the weirdest way possible)#But for real talk is it a Persona spinoff or an FE one. Really blurring the lines here imo#Sure we have the cameos but look at the battle system. It’s got the Atlus LanguageTM in it#Dia and Rakukaja and all the fun stuff :>#Yeahhhhhhhh the executives are dysfunctional tonight babes#Society if my brain operated normally and had energy after school instead of being fatigued as fuck 😔#N/oragami’s hiyori was relatable man. I too will just collapse anywhere in pseudo-narcoleptic fits#So sleebytired and distracted all the time… god when I turn 18 I’m getting myself some medication.#I’m sick of playing on hard mode all the time 😭 (practically Tales’ Intense because of my parents)#If anyone feels like sending something motivational so the brain gets off it’s high horse I’d gladly appreciate it 💖#just pav things#sometimes you need to vent idk.
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i spent 7 hours studying for one subject today no problem and even had fun doing it + im trying to imagine what middle/high school would’ve been like if i’d been properly medicated
#imagine the academic weapon i could’ve been if anyone had noticed i needed help…#rly no point in dwelling on it but i’m just angry that my mother never noticed#i’d been struggling with turning things in on time due to executive dysfunction pretty much forever#like i can remember it happening in third grade#and none of my teachers or anyone ever thought there might be a problem bc i guess i was compensating too well#that’s what i get for being a highly intelligent girl with adhd instead of a boy that acts out in class ig🙄#i just wish i’d had someone advocating for me#like my mom advocated for me to be put into higher level classes#but when i nearly failed 3 virtual math classes in a row in middle school bc i wasn’t doing any assignments but still acing tests#she just told me i had to do all the assignments and gave me an incentive to do it#instead of ever asking me WHY i wasn’t doing assignments#it wasn’t because i didn’t want to it was because i was literally incapable#and there’s a million other examples exactly like that scattered all throughout the parts of my childhood i still remember#wish it didn’t take me so long to realize i have to advocate for myself#using tumblr as a journal where there are people stuck in here forced to listen to me talk about my mom
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low key wanna like
set up a queue for posts i like that don’t circulate anymore so that way the recirculate but also i don’t spam but like
i don’t think i’ve ever used a queue before tbh lol
#listen i’ve always been the kind of blogger where you just know what i’m about when i’m about it#but since this is more of a fandom sidespace than my actual blog maybe that’s the better route?#cause there’s a lot of really good fanart and fanfics and analytical pieces that just#don’t get as much love since they got burried by time and i wanna bring them back to the forefront becuase they’re GOOD#and people put their heart and soul and time into them and i want them to be appreciated becuase i love them and they make me happy#but also i’ve hit post limit multiple times becuase if this blog and i’m scared it’ll happen again#cause i think you still hit it with the queue too#and like#i do actually use my main blog a log and the posts come from the same pool#(pro tip for new users btw if your side blogs are connected to your main account all your posts come from a pool that your account gets)#(kind of like a deck of cards that has to be distributed between all players)#ANYWAY it might be the better move for now#i’ll stew on that while i try and get myself out of writers block#cause i’ll need to get the first draft of peghawks2023 done this weekend if i want ot done in time for the 16th#need to figure out how to trick my brain into working#had this problem in school also#the only reason i passed is because most my teachers loved me and wanted me to succeed in spite of my executive dysfunction#and my other two teachers hated me so much (adhd kid with a pension to cause problems) that they passed me#just so they never had to see me again lmao#it’s okay feelings were mutual fuck those guys#(or love those guys for the teachers that adored me)#(hope they’re doing good)#what was i talking about#RIGHT queues and writing#yeah i should go do that okay bye for now!!!
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Me at school: ohoho I am going to do SO many things when I get home
Me when I get home: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.mmmmmm. no
#nyxnco.txt#girl help the executive dysfunction is beating my ass#i want to artfight but cant find any characters i like#i want to draw for myself but . artfighttt#i want to do homework but i didnt do any attacks yesterday so i gotta do one today#but i dont want to draw#because no chatacters that i like#someone please kill me . please#ok it may be that im just EXHAUSTED from school and the bus ride#but at the same time the GUILT that comes frlm not doing stuff i looked forward to#urgh
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finding out you’re a hux stan really takes me back! i had a decently successful instagram fan account for domhnall back when i was in hs, i was so obsessed lmaooo
The truth has been revealed: I have an extensive history of being beguiled by strange little sniveling rat men. 😔 And that’s genuinely so cool?? I was sO CLOSE to being a full on Domhnall stan when I was like sixteen but I hadn’t seen almost any of his other movies. I just wasn’t there quite yet.
#askmeda✨#anon ask✨#i personally tried to start one of those niche meme pages when i was in high school#but it never panned out because my executive dysfunction prevented me from ever actually making content lol#so you were living my semi-famous instagram dream anon
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it's so hard to get into the academic mindset when you're not in school anymore. i keep looking up textbooks and other things and forgetting about them asfghkj.
#blackwood school wip tag#i love books with academic stuff in them#i think it's because while i love learning i was always kind of#bad at school and struggled bc of adhd and like executive dysfunction#especially with like trying to pay attention to lectures and doing coursework and readings#like i used to constantly fall asleep in class bc i was exhausted#so i guess i love academia books bc they're cool#and it allows me to live vicariously through them
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this silly (but lowkey so REAL) comic about horror and s1 killer got me thinking thoughts. man..... stage 1 killer out on his way to do everything to go against s2's actions. you can't just tell EVERYONE not to trust you in stage 2 man they dont trust you either way!!! god,,,, and then horror just gets beat up because of what YOU suggested??? and killer's got the classic goofy ass grin on his face. bro probably doesnt even remember what he saiiiid but ugh,,,,,
mtt spotted on the second photo mtt best group. anyways i always like it when horror (and by extension dust) learn to pay attention to killer's stages. it doesn't even have to be for a sweet cute awww 🥺🥺 reason like for keeping track of boundaries and how to deal with different killers. nah!!!! i just like it if they're more wary with 2,,,, learn to pay attention to stage 1 just incase he says anything important but not really rely on him because goddamn it whatever he tells them to do just backfires anyways. and then they dont even really need to pay attention for 3 they just need to GET THE FUCK OUT THE BOMBS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!! SHIIIIT!!!!! 4? whats that? another stage? never heard of it aside from the other 3............ euagh
#oh ya this is by zyz800 on twt#horror's so cutie patootie in this one this comic gives off peak hrkl vibes even if it has nothing to do with it#listen if the trio could escape together they probably it's literally just that killer is too unpredictable to ever go with horror and dust#THE TWO PROBABLY COULD IF HE JUST AGREED..... BUT THEY CANT BECAUSE HE WONT FUCKING AGREE!!!!!!!#killer is singlehandedly the only thing keeping all THREE of them stuck in the gang and bro is dooming himself and his counterparts#they cant escape they might as well try the second best thing: distracting themselves through eachother#if all else fails a group suicide doesnt sound that bad. horror and killer will just have to drag dust down with them#group suicide and then killer just comes back. finally got rid of those bitches! i'm sick of their asses! and then he runs off to freedom#GO KILLER!!!! GO KILLER!!!! ESCAPE!!! ESCAPE LIKE NOBODY ELSE CAN!!!!!#i'm in such a good mood i did so much swapinverse work today#i finished vice.SER's full and summarized lore.... did some of crash's main facts!!! ugh!!!! so productive!!!!!#i had 5 days off last week and i literally only did stuff TODAY. THIS WEEK#3 days of no school and i did absolutely nothing.......... man#executive dysfunction is going to kill me one day i fear#is it even executive dysfunction i dont know but with how annoying it is i feel it can be called that#horror has no fucking idea what the hell killer's yapping about man. stages??? like for concerts??? why are there 3 of them??? he dgaf#where's dust in this comic. did killer try something like this with dust too. did it end up in the same ending#dust would probably never trust killer again if he was in horror's place in this comic thats prob why#but then again would dust make sure a rookie mistake like that? ive yet to know because i am not him#been listening to xxtha's mtt songs on loop since like 7 pm im in such a trio mood. this is great#i love being productive i love breaking out of the loop i love feeling like i'm real for this#tricule rant
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