#because every time a post gets engagement the page refreshes

[silvermoon424]

The Tumblr iOS app fucking sucks dude. I was in the middle of writing a post and then opened my web browser to fact-check something. When I came back to the app the post I was writing just… disappeared. Not in the drafts, not in the home/notifications/etc windows, just fucking gone 😭

[oflights]

top 10 books of 2023!!

thank you for tagging me, @elskanellis! i started drafting this right away, ran out of time to post it on 12/31, and am ~circling back now. i read 50 books in 2023, and these are my top 10 faves!

titles, brief #thoughts, etc. under the cut!

Himself, by Jess Kidd

this was so incredible and heart-wrenching and exciting to read. devastatingly beautiful/cheerful dirtbag lad busts into a small irish village to find out what happened to his mother, who was almost certainly murdered, and turns everything upside down. every character is so entertaining and funny and sharp, even the villains. the ending is incredible.

The Winners, by Fredrik Backman

i'd recommend this whole series, even if you don't care about hockey; it's so, so good and emotionally devastating. at its base, the series is about a hockey team in sweden, but really, this series belongs to the character of Benji Ovich, and it's a masterclass in building up a queer hero. it's unflinching in dealing with all that he goes through, and handles a lot of really difficult topics with deftness. the heart of his story, for me, is the question of what happens when you're in love with your best friend who is actually a despicable, evil person, and how can you ever forgive yourself for it?

The Iliad, translated by Emily Wilson

do i have to evangelize this one anymore? it's so fucking good. i've read it about 10 times at this point, i just couldn't bring myself to be finished with it. it's so refreshing and approachable and makes every single character leap off the page. it doesn't pull a single emotional punch (because homer doesn't! and wilson's like "don't look away!")

A Map for the Missing, by Belinda Huijuan Tang

this is one of those books that really comes together as a whole; i didn't know it was going to be a fave until i was finished with it. a chinese immigrant has to go back home to help search for his elderly father, who's gone missing. as he goes, every single thread of his past is tugged on and unravelled and the complexity and depth the narrative achieves is really astounding. the last few pages are an absolute gut-punch.

A Power Unbound, by Freya Marske

purely here for how it redeemed the entire series for me. i'm actually not a big romance person, though i did read more romance than ever this year; i just usually tend to get bored with the same sorts of romance tropes over and over (probably because that's what i read fic to get, not tradpub novels). this one doesn't do anything new or reinvent those tropes or anything, it's just really, really good and engaging and hot. the romance outshines the magic system/plot by far. i'd recommend the series overall, but this one has the best relationship in it AINEC.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries, by Heather Fawcett

why do i always like middle grade authors who pivot to adult books waaay more than YA authors who do the same? like how are they so much better? that's definitely the case here. this is really fun fairy book (i went through a fairy phase over the summer) and packed a surprising emotional punch and a really lovely romance. i think it helped that the main character have major howl and sophie vibes. i'm excited for the sequel to come out in a few weeks!

Slewfoot, by Brom

god this was absolutely horrifying and brutal and also incredible? i actually can't believe this is here because it lost me through some of the worst of the witch trial torture (it goes really hard on it, as a warning, and i almost stopped there. her poor cat :/ i can almost never handle it when a cat dies) but!! i'm glad i stuck through because of the ending, which is phenomenal and makes every other bit of it worth it. the mythology is terrific and terrifying, too.

Small Things Like These, by Claire Keegan

possibly the best novella i've ever read? it just packs an incredible punch; it doesn't waste a single word, every square inch is a devastating look at the magdalene laundries and it doesn't hold back at all. so, so good.

Half a Soul, by Olivia Atwater

i'm so glad i discovered olivia atwater this year! this was during the Fairy Phase and it was just really fun and engaging. again, big howl and sophie vibes (this is such a high compliment from me) and i really love the second book in this series, too. it's just a really fun world to get lost in, and i'm excited to read more from this author this year.

He Who Drowned the World, by Shelley Parker-Chan

i had some problems with this, and i didn't love it as much as the first book, though i actually think most of those problems could've been solved with a third book and a longer runway. really wish this was a trilogy. that being said, this was still incredible. i loved every single narrative thread, there were zero emotional punches pulled, and i still think about these characters all the time. read this series if you haven't!!

[chaoxfix]

🕯️🪄🌻 for the meme!

ty for the ask!! <3

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

ahh... hmm. i like putting out the energy i want back. if i read something i try to comment, and if i dont like something or am not interested in the concept, i just dont react because it's so much worse to upset someone over something they worked hard on.

i really don't think kudos are a very good expression of appreciation, as it has almost no room for real connection. fics are free, you know? when something is free but gives you joy, you should probably meet it with love, and love in a way that really shows why you like it. thats why i think comments are much better. i get why it can cause anxiety, but there's really no wrong way to comment unless youre 1) being an honest to god jerk, 2) pointing out something you dislike / something that you think the author was "incorrect" about (especially if the commenter is the one whos wrong lmao. either way i really dont think free fanfiction is like. lol. the place to do public criticism. just saying.)

im a rather anxious person irl, so im not really sure exactly what every single other anxious person's obstacles are or how to bridge them. because of that, i won't try to give universal advice since it's something i cant be an expert on if my experience is so different.

but i will say, for myself -- i mitigate my anxiety by practicing gratitude. i weaponize my people-pleasing for good by trying to be someone who makes other people feel genuinely good. and there's nothing better than feeling appreciated and praised for things that have value. and that kind of thing usually comes back around.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

ahh... hmmm...

if it's late at night (after midnight) when i post it, i go to sleep so i wont stay up refreshing the page to see what people say, or worse stay up editing all the typos that "suddenly appear" in ao3 formatting lol. that way even if no one reads it overnight or there are errors, it's okay because at least i can face the day with some sleep.

if it's not late at night when i post it, i try to go for a walk to again avoid constantly refreshing the page for feedback or immediately editing it. bc its not super healthy to spend even more time on it after whats probably been hours and hours, and i dont want my entire day fixated on something i should be done with.

i dont really celebrate much though, probably because i just kind of expect myself to make things of a quality i can stand behind. i didnt really grow up getting praised despite being an overachiever bc it made others around me feel bad when i got a lot . . . so i. have to really try and make something worthy of praise to feel like i deserve it. idk. haha. so anyways overall i try to lean more and more into 'i dont need validation' because id hate to put all my eggs in that basket -- not just because i dont want to be motivated by others' praise, but also because, i dont want to stop writing for the opposite reason, if someday i no longer feel like the quality of work i produced actually deserved the amount of feedback it got.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

low motivation for long stretches, and losing interest in the things others like best, make me want to stop writing. both with fandom and original. low motivation usually coincides with depressive stints for me, and it makes me feel awful. like i cant do the one thing i like best, because i just can't motivate myself. when i finally manage it, it's crap for the first thousand words, then it gets better.

for me though, what makes me keep going is getting others to see my vision. getting them to feel what i aim to make them feel; crafting stories that, maybe theyre not perfect, but the emotions they generate are enough. it really is hard without an audience. even though i'm not motivated as much by getting a ton of validation, i do need at least a little lol, even just someone to say "yes. i see you. i understand what you needed me to feel from this, and i felt it." which is why i have original writing friends as well, for original stuff.

buuut also, i also keep going because i like being able to jot down what im thinking/imagining so that i can revisit it later and go back to that feeling, that moment in time where i was absolutely positive of that scene

thank you again for asking!! ^^

[persimnon]

Hello, I see you're campaigning for Griddlehark in the Top Femslash Ships Bracket! Unfortunately, the opposition is very powerful and has been engaging in heavy voter fraud. I've been countering them the best I can, but I can't win this battle on my own! If you'd like to help, here are some instructions:

1. Open the poll post in a private/incognito tab.

2. In a second private/incognito tab, go to tumblr.com/register

3. Enter a random email address and password. If your browser has an autofill function, saving these will make the process faster. If not, just make sure you can recall them for later. Using the same email/password every time will help!

4. Enter a birthdate. Any birthdate will do. For maximum efficiency on desktop, simply type J - Tab - 1 - Tab - 1, to autofill January 1, 1999.

5. Enter any random username/URL. A keysmash will do. Click "Sign up".

6. Tumblr will take you to the "Getting to know you page". Ignore this. Instead, switch to the tab with the poll in it. Refresh the page and cast your vote.

7. Switch back to the other tab that had the "Getting to know you" page. Use it to go to tumblr.com/account/delete

8. Enter the previously used email and password and delete the account.

9. Tumblr will give you a "Sign up again" button. Click it, and it will redirect you back to tumblr.com/register

10. Repeat until satisfied.

I’m sorry I simply do not care enough to do that because I have real life responsibilities

[reviewrating]

Hello readers! Welcome to my Blaster App Review. I’m Lutfur Azad, and I’ve written this post to share my insights on the Blaster AI app, created by Venkata Ramana.

Amazon KDP is a $4.6 Billion Market… And With Blaster App, We’re About to Tap Into It with Just a Few Clicks! Can you believe it? Amazon, the largest company in the world, has built the biggest bookstore on the planet—and it’s not just for big-name authors. Everyday people like you and me have the chance to publish books on their platform and share in the profits.

Here’s the magic: You simply publish your book, and Amazon—armed with its massive reach and millions of users—does all the heavy lifting for you, driving sales on autopilot. Imagine paydays rolling in without you lifting a finger.

We’re talking about fully-fledged, professional-quality books here! AI content often gets a bad rap, and rightly so—because most of it is lackluster. But not with Blaster. This revolutionary tool uses a cutting-edge content-mapping algorithm to generate over 200 pages of engaging, useful, and high-quality content.

And the best part? It’s all done in just a few clicks. I’ve created the perfect solution for YOU. Finally, a tool that breaks the cycle of struggle. It’s your ticket to publishing success without any manual effort or upfront costs. All it takes is 30 seconds and a few clicks, and you’re on your way to profit. Simple, quick, and effective.

Blaster – The World’s First AI App to Unlock Amazon’s KDP Potential and Instantly Publish Profitable Books! Imagine creating an automated KDP publishing business in just 4 clicks—one that generates $23.99 every single day like clockwork.

Blaster’s AI-driven content-mapping algorithm uncovers hidden niches on KDP and produces keyword-targeted eBooks that are primed to sell instantly.

Blaster is a next-gen AI app that allows you to write and publish profit-generating books on Amazon’s KDP in just 30 seconds, with zero effort. The result? A passive income stream of $343.23 daily, without lifting a finger.

Let Me Show You How Long It Takes To Go From Nothing To Profit (With Blaster)

Step 1 Login: Click on any of the big buttons on this page and create your account with Blaster…(Takes less than 9 seconds…)

Step 2 Feed: Just enter any keyword you want inside Blaster dashboard. It can literally be anything. You don’t need any kind of research. (Takes less than 5 seconds…)

Step 3 Blast: Within seconds, Blaster will give you a fully formatted and designed Book. With Over 200 Pages…Now click on publish to Blast it on Amazon’s KDP… (Takes less than 7 seconds…)

Step 4 Profit: That’s it, you are done… Now all you have to do is refresh your account and watch sales roll in… (Takes less than 10 seconds…)

Product Name: Blaster AI App

Blaster App Creator: Venkata Ramana

Launch Date:2024-Oct-07

Launch Time:11:00 EDT

Front-End Price:$12.95(Limited Time Only)

Refund: 365 Days Iron-Clad Money Back Guarantee

>> Official Website: Click Here To Get Started <<

[portraitohnegesicht]

That's me

I have been on tumblr for about ten years now and I think like most, just recently got back to it. Not because reddit shut down, or twitter is going to shit, but more out of a feeling of "the internet used to be different". I am not sure if this is some sort of nostalgia, but it really used to be different, as capitalism is very good at providing us with the illusion of choice, we grew towards the internet being structured and measured the way BigTech intended it to be.

I came back to tumblr, because I liked the content, the people and the freedom it offers, with its blogging structure. It feels more free, more experimental and to a good amount also less toxic. There are not like 2-15 top creators who define the feed for most people. Not every second post is a "How to get 10K followers in a week" or a "Do this to increase engagement" sort of post. It is refreshing.

It feels more like a universe in which you can step into, change planets and moons and orbits, while twitter and instagram seem to be more streamlined. They may have different cities but in the end we're all put on the hyper-speed-highway of endless consumption.

Anyway. This is why I came back. I lost nearly all of my basic html-programming skills and my tumblr-blogs are not as funky as they used to be, but I will be more active here now. If not on this blog then at least on my others. Engaging more with creators and contents and even start posting myself, to give something back to this community.

Having this said, I want to drop another thought: Instagram also became too personal for my own taste. Like - I am a person that is mainly publishing art, drawings, digital paintings, but I grew very hesitant as it became more and more the portfolio page, the place where not only friends, but also colleagues would see something of "you" eventually. And for some it may be great, but for my art is not something i want my co-workers to see. Not if I know them well enough.

So, to wrap this up: tumblr offers me the perfect conditions of being a creative, even with the presentation and not being afraid of trying more things. I also sometimes do little design-exercise, which I have never shared except with my SO.

It's time to reclaim the internet isn't it?

Closing with a few words: I am not a native english-speaker, so please don't be too harsh on my grammar or wording and if you want to reach out - i think Instagram would still be the best.

I would love to hear from you!

[bleachbleachbleach]

29 hours

Every couple months I come back to this (or some variant of this), but like... Do you ever wonder what the heck Hitsugaya and Matsumoto did for 29 hours?

They get this jigokuchou email when they’re watching over Hinamori, after their brief altercation with Ichimaru. “29 hours” initially seems very arbitrary (not that I could expect the Council of 46, real or imagined, to not be arbitrary), but Ukitake seems to insinuate that it just lines up with noon the next day:

Which implies that the jigokuchou would have gone out at ~7AM. I buy that. The morning of the execution also begins “5 hours before the execution,” so maybe 7AM is just the start of the regular business day in the Seireitei. A budget meeting and then a brown bag execution during lunch!

Hitsugaya tells Matsumoto they should use these hours to “stop the execution.” But like... 

24+ hours later:

That is not... That plan does not seem any more developed than it was the day before, lol?? I’m just really curious about what it is they were up to.

Once they reach the Council of 46 (and apparently they had something else to do that morning because it also doesn’t seem like they leave for the Council of 46 until the execution is literally beginning, and there’s some wiggle room in between 7AM and that, since other people are busily getting into skirmishes and Byakuya is off killing Renji), Hitsugaya informs the readers that:

the Council of 46 would not be swayed by a single captain’s objection

they forced their way into the chambers, so it’s not like they were waiting for an invitation to be there. (Not that they would have received one.)

So after a full day of brainstorming, was their plan to... ask for something that they knew would certainly would not be granted and then just show up at the door uninvited to ask for something they knew would not be granted, to see if that would work?

We do know what Ukitake did with his 29 hours:

Appeals unsuccessfully to the Council of 46, as anticipated

Un-seals big powerful Shihouin shield thingy

Some options I’d like to propose for how the 10th spent those 29 hours:

sent a Comment or Complaint thru the Council of 46′s online portal

refreshed that page multiple times

waited

“But it says our feedback is valuable and they’ll get back to us as soon as possible.”

snacks

sleep (in fairness, they were at least one all-nighter in already, and it had been a long day of Aizen being brutally slaughtered and then failing to keep Hinamori in jail)

Change.Org?

realized they’d failed to spend any time actually doing their jobs re: emergency mobilization re: ryoka, a thing they do not appear to care about at all, ever, the entire arc, had to go make some work assignment charts and hold a bystander intervention training (rando 10th people do show up to the post-execution kerfuffle, so...?)

more snacks

wrote ICHIMARU on a blackboard many times

Matsumoto had to fix Haineko, which Shinsou cracked, so I guess that’s important

open MS Word / blinking cursor / close MS Word

“Fuck it, we have a four-hour commute; we’re bound to figure something out on the way.” (Narrator: They did not.)

Maybe Hitsugaya had to go attend to the fact that he’d released shikai but had no ryoka to show for it, or explain Aizen’s bonkers letter. But it seems like everyone except Hinamori continued to be unaware of/ignored the accusation because it was too bonkers. 

ALSO, while we’re here, I definitely forgot that not only did Aizen say Hitsugaya had killed him, he also said that Hitsugaya was the one who’d arranged for Rukia’s execution so he could steal the Sougyoku and destroy Soul Society. Which sounds ridiculous, because Hitsugaya is way too boring to have thought up that plan. XDDD (On the other hand he 1) was mysteriously absent for the “emergency measures” captain’s meeting, 2) at no point engaged the ryoka, 3) attacked a Captain, and 4) broke into the Council of 46, which all actually does look sus af, lol.)

Whatever. I love them. Amazing. Excellent contribution to the stopping of the execution. As long as the execution in question is the execution of their own plan. 😅<3

[r-ene]

update on surviving college with rene:

as of 09/12/22 - first month of the first semester as an overloaded-irregular-junior respiratory therapy student (no face-to-face classes yet). i have 11 things i've been doing so far and hopefully once things start getting chaotic (academically) + me being overwhelmed, i can remind myself of these less stressful times, and i hope it can be of help to you guys as well :)

my current schedule:

6 days a week of classes (~32 hrs/week) and as per my mom, sundays are my rest days (we had a talk about this yesterday and i felt very validated with how she told me i deserve to not do any academic related tasks on sundays because i study and do those for long hours most of the week even if i have no upcoming hw/quizzes/etc. and now I feel refreshed thanks to cleaning (its a stress reliever of mine) and working out in the morning, I slept for 7hrs like a baby hahaha) + currently not behind on tasks, but there's a pile of pdfs and presentations that i need to start making notes for to have an easy quiz and exam preparation

☕ planks and morning work out still does wonders with back pain from sitting in front of my desk for long hours

☕ water, coffee, power naps and supplements (bee pollen) are still my best friend. sometimes we add earl grey milk tea to the list, but only when i get enough time to make tapioca pearls

☕ study buddies !! still going strong with my friends from high school with this, haha. we have discord study sessions daily (but now we have a curfew of 12mn instead of studying throughout the night sometimes we reach 5am)

☕ minor subject notes and tasks are done within the day of the scheduled class day i have 3 minor subjects at the moment, not counting mandarin to the minors as its more of an extracurricular now, it has its own sched hahaha

☕ as soon as possible, make digital notes after every lecture as much as possible i like to get done with my notes within the week of the lecture as a review

☕ handwritten notes the day before, or two days before a quiz - really helps with memory retention. i like to only write down the important/key points from my digital notes so it won't take long as when i used to directly make handwritten notes last first semester. it took me a long time and eventually i gave up haha

☕ online and offline planner, tracker and checklist with notion and google docs (but i'm slowly going back to making use of notion more), I have pages with class directory together with the google meet links and notes per professor rules for the classes, countdown before exams, to-do lists and etc. at the same time, I have a dainty planner and checklist just in case I'm not on my gadgets

☕ eating well. important to note. i asked my mom and siblings to remind me to eat as it was a problem with me last year and so far, i have been eating well - sometimes cooking my own meals and eating during lectures if it coincides with meal time, and fortunately, none of our professors who requires us to have our cameras on minds if we eat. some even encourages we do so and not miss our meals :)

☕ using a timer i mentioned and posted photos of the timer i currently make use of to track my time per task/subject so i can oversee and control my work/study time and break times

☕ engaging in different hobbies and learning new skills newly acquired skill and hobby: doing digital floor plans - started with the floor plan to follow for the reorganization of my room and soon, i'll try to make floor plans for a complete house or so because i feel motivated after my floor plan was approved by my architect student friend, hahaha. anw this helps a lot with destressing. cannot emphasize the importance of hobbies in a busy life. (+ adding to this is teaching your dog new skills, adds happy points)

☕ sleeping as much as i can now, as there's not much happening in my classes yet aside from lectures and weekly quizzes ++, i don't wake up at 3 or 4am yet to study but instead, waking up 30mins to 2hrs before classes that starts after 8am and 30mins to 1hr before 7:30 am classes (because those days I don't usually work out in the morning... but i think i should...). anw, like today, my first class started at 9am and i woke up 8am after sleeping at 1am, hehehe we love sleep.

it's the end of lunch break and the end of this list, haha. best of luck to us !!

[toomanymessythoughts]

I finished reading Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao a few days ago and here are some of my thoughts

First off, this book was an amazing read. Xiran Jay Zhao’s writing is immersive and engaging and the fast pace of the story had me in tight grip at all times. I was always curious of what the next paragraph, the next page, the next chapter would reveal to me. Huaxia feels like a fascinating world that still has many secrets to unravel and I’m looking forward to finding out about them in the sequel. Wu Zetian is an interesting main character and while she is ruthless, stubborn and harsh at times she remained a character that I rooted for. I still remember to pure satisfaction I felt when she overpowered Yang Guang and drained the life from him and “Welcome to your nightmare” is just iconic. I like that she is this unhinged and extremely powerful character but it doesn’t come across as forced, because you can see that the reason, she is so powerful is not because she has main character privileges, but because she has this unwavering willpower which lies at the source of her insanely powerful qi. She has made me want to be just a little bit more unhinged myself. The other characters also really grew on me especially Li Shimin (I swear if he doesn’t come back in Heavenly Tyrant my soul will straight up evaporate.) I love myself a morally grey, intimidating giant with a heart of gold and his character ark was really moving and I don’t think I can describe how low my heart sank when he met his tragic fate. I will now forever despise the number 0… (how could they do this to him?! my poor baby, bring him back, now, I’m begging.) Gao Yizhi is just a gem, the ultimate supportive best friend/boyfriend that is needed when you need to overthrow a government. He is so sweet yet can be just as ruthless as Zetian which is a duality that I live for. I will also never get enough of his nerdy fanboying over Shimin and his calligraphy.

On to the magic system. I love it. I loved learning more and more about qi, how it’s connected to the five elements and how it can be used as the story went on and the scenes where the pilots let it power through their meridians so that they start glowing were just so, so cool. My favourite one was probably the one that reveals that Qin Zheng has access to all five of his elemental qis and I wouldn’t be surprised if Zetian also acquires this power in the future given that she already has metal, water and fire at her disposal, that would be so badass.

The writing style was very enjoyable for me. It gives the book a straightforward tone and while some might view this as it being blunt, it was extremely refreshing for me to read something that is clear and concise after having to tediously pry the meaning from the pages of the books I had to read for school. Don’t get me wrong, some of there books were really good, but my brain really needed this change of pace and tone. Something that I particularly liked about this style is that while it is pretty straightforward, it never feels simplistic or rushed. Xiran Jay Zhao says what they need to say in a short and effective way which in my opinion adds extra weight and punch to the messages they packed into their story.

The only critique that comes to mind right now, is that there were parts that I wished had been a bit more fleshed out, but I understand that in order to keep the pace, sacrifices had to be made. I also recently stumbled upon a post of the author saying that they had to delete many scenes due to the strict word count so I guess this is a bone that I have to pick with the publisher.

But more than anything, I want to thank this book and the author. Because for the first time in I don’t know… probably somewhere close to 10 years that I’ve been able to pick up a book, take a liking to it and read it from start to finish without losing my momentum. Every time I opened Iron Widow, I was excited to reunite with Wu Zetian, Yizhi and Li Shimin and see what would happen next. I can’t describe how happy this made me and how much hope it gave me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to go back to being the bookworm I was when I was younger and when I do, it will be all thanks to this book. I loved reading it form the first page to the last and I can’t wait for the sequel.

[sparetimeimagines]

Leave Your Lover | Oikawa Tooru

Tags; Angst, Drunk Oikawa, Drinking, ft. Iwaizumi, Shittykawa doing shitty things

Part 2 - Akaashi Keiji

Part 2 - Ushijima Wakatoshi

Masterlist

Scrolling through social media is one thing that you thought you should never do before going to sleep. But you couldn’t stop yourself this time; no, not this time.

Because you got the text messages.

You got the phone calls.

Nothing was going to stop you from seeing the unwanted news.

“So, what are you going to do?“ he runs his large fingers through his dark hair, laid down from the shower he just had.

“I don’t know Haijime. This one, I just don’t understand.“ You say and scroll through your phone refreshing it one more time like you hadn’t seen the bad news.

Iwaizumi was the only one outside of you two who knew what was going on behind closed doors. He knew about the late nights, the early mornings, and the hushed noises in the supply closet before and after every game.

“I have to call it off.“

“Call it off? You don’t have to do anything. All this is on him.“

“Iwaizumi. I can’t keep being the other girl. He chose her. He wants to marry her, not me.“ The truth hurt you in more places than it should. Your heart felt this unresolved pressure that circulated into your lungs.

“No, if someone’s going to do it, it’s going to be Shittykawa.”

“Tooru is not going to do it. You know how he is, he likes to get his way. I- I just can’t do it anymore.”

You refresh the page one more time like a bad tick, re-reading the statement wishing it wasn’t true. The new picture posted of the girl holding her engagement ring and your lover kissing her cheek breaks your heart.

You toss your phone to the side, Haijime sliding into your bed.

“Well, he’s not going to leave her.”

“He’s your best friend, why can’t you talk to him?” You say leaning onto his shoulder.

“I don’t know, Y/n. Come here.”

Iwaizumi Haijime knew you didn’t want to be left alone tonight. He didn’t want you to cry yourself to sleep tonight.

“He’s shitty.” The trainer lets you rest your head on his chest, knowing your heart hurts.

Then you’re silent, letting the reality set in that you lost. Before it didn’t seem like they were serious. It was only supposed to be another fling.

“He promised me he was going to break it off.” You attempt to keep it together, drawing shapes into Iwaizumi’s chest. “He promised me we would be together.”

You’re quiet again, but he suspects you’re about to break.

“Y/n... I wish I could tell you what he’s thinking.” His hand runs across you back. “But sometimes... sometimes I just don’t know.”

You shut your eyes to prevent the tears from falling, however Haijime still feels them on his chest and hears the sniffles you desperately want to hide.

The lights are out, 1:30 in the morning and for some reason you’re abruptly woken from your sleep. Haijime is laid over on his side, his arm thrown over his eyes while his chest rises and falls with each breath.

Then you hear it.

Four loud bangs on the door.

“Haijime.” You jump, smacking his arm to his wake. “Haijime, wake up.”

“Wha- what’s wrong?” He leans over grabbing his phone. “It’s 1:30.”

“Someone’s at the door.”

You jump out of the bed as another round of knocks go off.

“Y/n wait... what if it’s a crazy person?” He runs after you as you pace to the door.

“Just stay here. Or stay in the hall. I don’t know.” You sigh checking the peephole.

“It’s Oikawa.” You groan anger flushing your face. “Freaking Tooru.”

You sigh running a hand through your hair opening the door without thinking.

“What-“ before you can finish the sentence he runs up to you.

“Y/n.” He attempts to grab you into his arms but you back up.

His eyes filter past you into your home.

“Oh... so now you’re with him.” He growls his face growing red.

“Hey wait...” Haijime shifts in front of you as Oikawa swing his fist right into Iwaizumi’s eye.

“Tooru! Stop.”

“No! Don’t call me that.” His red face matches his watering eyes. “Out of everyone you had to choose him.” He slurs his words swaying in front of you.

“Oikawa, you need to stop.” Haijime stands in front of you again.

“So what? Are you two fucking now? Are you sleeping with her?” He yells switching glances between the two of you.

“What? No!” You say behind Iwaizumi’s shield.

“Why would it matter? You’re engaged to a different woman. Why would it matter if I were?”

“Because! Iwachan. Not her. Anyone but her.” Oikawa cries using his palm to wipe the tears.

“I’m not your property, Tooru.” You pass Haijime observing the boys. “You attacked Haijime. You’re drunk.” You begin to cry feeling Haijime’s hand on your shoulder, a reminder he’s still there.

“I know but I love you...” he stumbles towards you.

“Then why did you do it? Why did you propose to her?” You feel yourself begin to shake.

“I don’t know, Y/n.”

“Yes you do, Tooru.” You place your hands defensively on her hips.

“Why Iwaizumi then? Huh? What’s your excuse?”

“Excuse for what?”

“You acting like a whore and fucking my best friend when you realize you can’t have me.” He slurs, this time Haijime covers you completely.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” He grabs Oikawa’s collar. “Go home. You’re drunk.”

“You asshole. You know how I feel about her.”

“Really? Then why did you propose to her? Why did I have to hold Y/n while she cried because YOU hurt her. Yeah. You hurt her.” Haijime holds the door open, his arm like a guard before you.

Oikawa glances between the two of you, but his eyes say two things.

Anger and Hurt.

“Go home to your fiancée.” Iwaizumi sighs while Oikawa turns to you.

“Just let me talk to you.” He sniffles. “I just want to talk to you.”

You eye Haijime for allowance and he sighs.

“Come get me if you need me.”

You meet Oikawa on the doorstep and sit, he joining your side.

It’s silent at first. You not knowing what to say and he stumbling on his words.

“I don’t know what to do.” He sniffles.

“What do you mean?”

“I- I love you. But I love her too.”

“Oikawa... you proposed to her. You asked her to marry you.” Your heart breaks, a sob escaping from your chest. “Oikawa... we can’t do this anymore.”

“But- I love you.”

“Yet you gave her the ring, Tooru. You felt somewhere in your heart that you love her more.”

“But I can’t lose you, Y/n. You mean so much to me.” He wipes his eyes turning to you.

“It’s too late. You chose her! You wanted her. Not me. You made that decision when you asked her to spend the rest of your life with her. You hurt me. You lost me when you asked her to marry you.” Your sobbing eyes droop as he nods.

“I know. I know.” He cries. “I just wish she was you.”

“Then leave her.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” You stand crossing your arms.

“Because...”

“Tooru don’t hurt me like this.”

“Because...” he starts again.

“What is it?”

“She’s pregnant.”

He meets you at your feet, though you feel like he just stabbed you.

Your heart drops into your gut, and right then you realize you will never look at him the same way ever again.

“I’m sorry.” His hands hover, not know what to do with them. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I wish she were you.”

You feel your legs shake beneath you and you lean against the door, cracking it.

“H-hai.” You start and Oikawa begins pacing. “Haijime.”

Oikawa keeps apologizing when you turn to him, spitting those eight letters of words like the air you needed.

“I hate you.”

Iwaizumi opens the door behind you and catches the end of your declaration. “I hate you, Oikawa Tooru. I never want to see you again.”

You turn into Iwaizumi, his eye bruising. “Get rid of him.” You sob glancing at Oikawa with nothing to say, but shaking your head with a tremble, leaving them at the scene.

[borathae]

Fanfic Writer asks

Tagged by @daegulinekush thank you so much, love!! 💜

1) Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?

I can’t possibly pick, I have so many characters I love writing for. The aaol couple, all of my tct characters, the SA lovelies. Like I even enjoy writing certain side characters like for example The Old Choi from OY. I couldn’t possibly pick because I pour so much in love into all of my characters no matter how big or small

except for CBT OC, she’s a bitch and I wanna fight her

2) What is your favorite fic of yours?

I love all of my stories very dearly ahhfhd but my Top Five (in no particular order) would be:

Queendom Series

Sanguis Alpha

The Cocktail Trilogy

An Abundance of Luck & A Sprinkle of Fate

Only Yesterday

3) What fic of yours do you think is underrated?

My husband!Yoongi series. You guys, read it. He’s so cute!!

4) What fic of yours were you surprised by how popular it was?

Cold Gun 

You bitches said it’s horny time and I respect & support that

5) Do you like one shots or multi-chapters?

I like both. It all depends on my mood and what I want to create that day.

Oneshots feel like a quick daytrip. They are great if I have a random idea begging to be created or if I need a distraction from working on my longer stories. And they don’t really occupy my mind once I finished them, so they are always a refreshing way to pass the time.

Multi-chaptered stories feel more like a long journey without a set arrival time. They take up my thoughts for a period of time and stay with me throughout that time. Like for example, I will always see Late Summer of 2020 as my “Purple Rain Summer” as I actively worked on PR during that time and Fall 2021 will always be my “Sanguis Alpha Autumn” because that is what I worked on during that time.

6) Do you outline your fics? If so, how?

Not really? Most of my outlining happens in my brain throughout the day hahaha I have like a mental catalogue of all my story outlines on demand whenever I want to. I can actually visualise myself picking out a certain book and opening it and then flipping through its pages. Like no joke, I actually have a mental library of my WIPs I can always go to afadf

7) How do you edit your fics? What do you look for in your edits?

I reread the story at least two times after finishing it, then let it sit for a day or two and then reread it one last time. I look for grammatical errors, punctuation errors, plotholes, wonky sentences/dialogue and sometimes I also end up adding more details to scenes to make them even more engaging.

For my multi chaptered stories, I like to reread every chapter once after my entire editing process and then once right before posting just in case I missed some mistakes. 

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

Yes I do. I use my stories as therapy at some parts. It can be either through one character struggling and finding guidance in another character’s words. Or sometimes it’s just someone getting their face punched in while I imagined the face of someone who wronged me whilst writing the scene ahhaha I said what I said. Also obviously places, food, music, art, just living life inspires me as well and I like to incooporate it in my stories in some way or another.

9) Do you visualize scenes in your head before you write them? (Can you picture the setting, character body language etc)

I picture the setting & body language yes. I also smell scents. I mean not like actually smell them, but my mind connects certain scents with certain settings. My scenes are definitely very sensory imput heavy. Also, I can see my settings perfectly, I just suck at describing them. Like I know how the house of the OGC couple looks like & I can see myself walking through the SA estate into the smallest to details. I just can’t describe them to you guys hahaha

10) How do you feel about writing plot, setting/description, inner thoughts, dialogue?

how do I feel about it? I mean, I love it. Isn’t that the whole point of writing? That you create your own little worlds with their own plots & settings & history? I also love writing inner thoughts & dialogue. Also again, the only thing I always struggle with is describing environments. Like the pretty views are all in my mind, but I can’t get them on paper. No joke, if someone plugged a machine into my brain, which can conjure perfect replicas of how I imagine my worlds so I can show them to you guys, that would be great ahhaha

11) What perspective do you write from most and/or least and why? (1st, 3rd limited, 3rd omniscient, deep pov, etc)

Anything but 1st person, that makes me cringe so hard hahahah. I also had to google what “deep pov” means and I don’t think that I wrote that before either, but it sounds very interesting actually.

Also this is such a random sidenote but smut in German makes me want to drink bleach. I would rather give up writing forever then ever write smut in German hahahah

12) Do you like to switch pov's a lot or stick to one character?

I really enjoy switching POVs. It’s so much fun to tell the story from different characters’ eyes and how they might percieve certain events differently than other characters.

13) Are you a fast or slow writer?

I am neither fast nor slow, I am perfectly paced for my own self. Writing (as a fun lil hobby) should never be a race against time.

14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on?

I had a few people tell me that they noticed the masked man in Ch.15 of SA say “little one” & that they remember Namjoon calling her like that in the library as well. So that was really cool because omfg yES you noticed!! 

I also really like it when people come to me after rereading a story and they go all like “omfg I noticed so many hints with the second read through, it should have been so obvious. It’s crazy how obvious some things are if you have more context”. Because that’s what I personally really love about revisiting stories, so it’s always nice to have people tell me that.

15) If you could only write one type of fic (angst, fluff, etc.) for the rest of your life what would it be?

Slice of Life happy moments & Smut between two people deeply in love oh those two just hit different

16) Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character?

Yes I have. I use certain vocabulary for certain characters and also structure my sentences differently. Let’s take Sanguis Alpha for example. If I wrote a scene out of Tae’s POV the sentences would be well structured and adorned with fancy, old-fashioned words. While during passages from Kook’s POV the sentences are short and sometimes many thoughts are jumble into one, because of how reactive he still is to every sensory imput and how every new imput can cause him to have a new thought.

17) Do you have any wips that you can tell us about? What are you most excited for in you wip?

YOU GUYS MAGNUS VENATIO IS RUINING ME OMFGF THE ANGST CONTINUES AND I CAN’T HANDLE IT ANYMORE I just had to make Tae cry and now I am broken because poor baby doesn’t deserve to cry :(

18) What's the most obscure thing you've researched for a fic?

Probably how quickly bullet wounds heal & how it feels to get shot in certain areas of the body (it’s for Family Matters because shit’s about to go down in that fic). Actually. Maybe also where to stab a person to kill them quickly fadsfha (it was for A Tiger’s Judgement). And like how certain poisonous mushrooms kill you (it’s for Fallen for You). lisTEN I could very succesfully kill people now HAHAHA for legal reasons, this is a joke lmoaoao 

19) What is some random info you happen to have that you used in a fic?

All of my photography knowledge in Shutter Sounds, that came in really handy.

20) What is your favorite thing about writing fanfic? What about writing in general?

Just that I can escape into my own little worlds and forget about the real world. And I guess about fanfic, it’s great because it’s with people you already know well so you miss out on that really tiring process of “getting to know the characters” because you already know how they might act & look and that can be really comforting to many people, including me.

Also, it’s also really fucking rewarding to look at a finished project and go “holy moly, those words in that specific order under that specifid plotline didn’t exist in this world before I created them and without me this story would have never even existed. I did that! I made a new thing from scratch!”

Thank you so much for this tag. I had a blast answering those questions!! I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this. I’m serious, tag me in yours if you decided to do it!! 💜

[deadlymodern]

*taps mic*

Umm, hello. Welcome to my presentation.

Hi! ✨

Since I'm rebranding and starting a new "volume" of my story, I decided to create a master recap for you lads. I think this was also a good moment to post this because I've received some new followers/readers that might be confused on what the fuck is happening.

Honestly, this was the only way I could make it work hfudihhiudf. Hope it was useful.

Obviously this recap doesn't have half the lore or depth you'd get from reading the whole story, but it should be enough to refresh your memory and/or for you to get into Where the Waves Crash without being clueless!

I'll place some links here, anyways, just in case someone is interested:

STORY'S MAIN PAGE | FULL STORY CHRONO | CHARACTER'S PAGE

✨ I'll also place a more complete written version of this recap with links to key chapters under the cut ✨

Thank you all for the support on the "rebrand", it really has made me feel even more inspired and motivated to continue with this hobby��🥺💙 

BETHANY

Beth was born to a family of farmers in Brindleton, a coastal village in rural England.

She’d help around the farm and care for her two younger brothers, Edward and Matthew, while also attending school, by her mother's request. 

At school, she became very close to her friend, Mary.

Her mother passed away during the birth of her youngest brother, Phillip. For that reason, her father, Edgar, pulled her out of school.

Mary would visit and sleep over often to keep her company.

As time passed, Beth realized she had romantic feelings for her friend. Even though they were reciprocated, Mary’d always push her away.

Before leaving to Finishing School, Mary accepted her feelings. The two girls began a romantic relationship.

While the girls were apart, Beth got to know William - a young man she met previously - better. They became good friends. She also developed a smoking habit through him.

Without her father’s approval, Beth attempted to get into the local College for a literature course, but failed her exam.

After a heated argument, Beth made a deal with her father to get married in exchange of permission to retake the exam and get a higher education.

While Mary was in Bridleton for the holidays, Beth officially proposed to her by giving her her later mother’s ring.

Beth kept writing weekly letters, but got confused and hurt when Mary suddenly stopped writing back.

Her father told her the truth about his nervousness in allowing her to pursue higher education, which made her feel even more emotionally trapped.

Adding up to it, her dear friend William asked for her hand in marriage, leaving her  lonely and lost 

Finally, she learnt about Mary’s engagement and reached a breaking point. Not enough to make her cry, but a breaking point nonetheless.

Beth is left unsure of what she will do with her life. She knows she has a choice to make, but she’d rather not have to make any decisions ever again.

MARY

Mary met Beth when they were 6 years old, on their way to school.

She was the one who instigated their first kiss. And their second. But also pushed her away once or twice due to fear.

She came to terms with her feelings before she left to Finishing School in Germany.

And kept in touch with Beth weekly through letters.

During her Winter break, Mary travelled back home. She then promised to leave everything behind and be with Beth once finished.

For that reason, Mary denied her suitor’s proposal. 

Her father, Charles, became suspicious and found her exchanged letters, which led to him blackmailing Mary into becoming engaged.

Mary wrote a last letter to Beth explaining the situation, but it was intercepted by the School’s headmistress, by Charles’ request.

Believing that Beth is informed, Mary goes on with her parent’s preparations for her wedding and gets ready for her School graduation.

TIMOTHY

Tim had been a close acquaintance of Mary for years and was expected to become her husband one day.

He was told to propose to her. She denied him at first, but said yes the second time.

Tim mentioned a family holiday to Normouth in July, and Mary’s father took the opportunity to set a date and location to their wedding.

During his last month in town, Tim went to an exhibit where he saw Will and Beth. He, then, bought a Kodak from William’s father. 

Tim is currently on his way to his family’s estate in Normouth for their holidays. Mary’s family is expected to join them in a couple of weeks.

WILLIAM

William met Beth during Mary’s 16th birthday ball.

He was the one who instigated her to pursue an higher education.

He is currently  in a Business major at Battlemere College as a request from his father, but is truly passionate about film. Here & here.

Started to fall in love with Beth as their friendship grew. Here and here.

Which eventually led to him proposing to Beth. 

William is yet to receive Beth’s answer, but is patiently waiting for it.

EDWARD

In childhood, Ned had a good relationship with his older sister.

They had a fall back once he announced he didn’t want a higher education.

Ned began noticing his sister’s suspicious behaviours, but always failed in an attempt to reconnect/get her to speak to him about it.

And, as time went by, the contrast between his and his siblings’ beliefs became more apparent.

Already suspicious of his sister’s relationship with Mary, Ned attempted to get on her good side by comforting her. Yet, it only pushed her away even more.

SUSANNA

Sue was a good friend of Beth’s, even though they’ve always had different opinions. It was through this friendship that Sue met Ned.

Sue and Ned weren’t very close in childhood. But they developed good communication and, eventually, fell in love.

They got engaged but were told to wait until Beth was wedded to be able to marry.

Even though the wedding was on stand-by, preparations were still being made.

After the Norman family’s horse passed away, Edward’s father decided to reconsider his decision and allowed Ned and Sue to set a date for the wedding so they could use Sue’s dowry to afford a new horse.

Sue is eagerly waiting for her dream Autumn wedding and her life alongside Ned and his family.

MATTHEW

Matt always felt different and distant from his family. He’s an introverted person, which made him very observant. 

He started to notice how his sister was treated differently from their brothers.

Matt backed Beth up in every situation against their father’s conservative views and helped her keep herself educated, in case she’d retake her exam. Here and here

He had a brief relationship with a local girl named Charlotte.

But, a couple of years later, was spotted kissing a man by lake Battlemere - though people couldn’t identify him.

He kept pretending nothing happened, in an attempt to get things to normal, and eventually got accepted into the local College.

Finally, he told Beth the truth about his sexuality.

Matt is very excited to introduce his boyfriend to Beth and to finally move out of their farm.

PHILLIP & DOROTHY

Phillip’s mother died giving birth to him.

He found comfort getting involved with music from an early age. He later learnt it was a shared interest with his late mother. 

In the music group, he met Dorothy, a young girl from Willow Creek, USA.

Beth helped him bake biscuits to Dottie in an attempt to make her feel a bit better after the pub incident. 

Dorothy became friends with Phillip due to their common interest in music.

She Helped Phillip start getting some closure on the guilt he feels for his mothers death.

During a night out, Dottie was harassed by a man. Phillip tried defending her, but things couldn’t be fixed so simply. They talked about it as the encounter scared them both - on different levels. 

At the moment, Flip and Dottie are very good friends. Flip is infatuated by her, but is trying to suppress it because he knows she is still overwhelmed by the pub incident. Dottie is concerned with her reputation around the village.

[wordsnstuff]

Guide To Plot Development

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress || Studyblr || Studygram

Where To Start

Start with the zero draft. Honestly, the only thing you need to know about your story in order to complete a solid zero draft is the basic timeline of events and 2-3 main characters. Zero drafts don’t need to include any minor characters, backstory, world building, subplots, anything. They’re just a rough estimate of what your story is going to be and where it’s going to go. 

This way, you have something to work with when you do approach the task of maturing your story, which is a lot easier to do when you have already gotten the garbage ideas onto paper, seen them, realized they’re bad, clipped out the good parts, and developed a better understanding of your story’s trajectory. 

Placing The Climax

The climax is two things; the apex of built tension and the turning point of the conflict. Recognizing that as a definition makes pin-pointing the climax of your story much easier, especially if you’re the kind of person who likes to start with a solid premise and work forward from there, rather than build a sturdy skeleton and fill in the blanks as you write the first draft. If you’re still having trouble, the climax is usually one of, if not the most exciting parts of the plot, and that comes from anticipating a massive shift in the story. 

Outlining For Discovery Writers

I know a lot of people out there will read this article and question whether they can put it to use because they’re not an intense plotter who relies on outlines, character sheets, etc. A lot of writers prefer to let characters grow on their own and the conflict present itself naturally, which is less predictable but very exciting, especially when brand new ideas hit you out of nowhere. If you’re one of these people, fear not. An easy way to settle the slight nervousness that comes with diving straight into a blank page is to write down all of the basic or specific ideas you have in one spot where you can see it all and as you go along, refer to it for inspiration or answers when you hit a snag in your story’s flow. It’s not exactly an outline, but it’s a lead, and it’s worth doing. 

Balancing Planning With Pantsing

A lot of writers who decide to take their stories seriously and commit to finishing a large project make the mistake of thinking that means they have to plan like a professional (which, spoiler, most professionals don’t do). What happens in these cases is that writers plan so meticulously for so long that the story becomes... boring. We all get kind of tired of stories when they take up too much of our imagination, but getting tired of a story before even a word of it is written should be avoided. 

I have a personal rule that I never give myself more than 6 weeks to plan a story. That seems like a lot to most people, but I also zero draft all of my stories before I plan them, so I never start a first draft with a blank page. I suggest that if you frequently run into this issue, you try this method and between each serious draft, you give yourself at least a month of space from it in order to refresh your mind. 

What Comes After Drafting

Foreshadowing, symbolism, subplot integration, and micro-development. These are all examples of things that writers try to plan before their first crack at a draft and end up betraying their ability follow through with writing the story at all. When it comes to complicating the story, these elements all come into the picture much later, when the main plot, character profiles, and structure is solid and ready to be finalized in the interest of moving forward in the writing process. When you’re plotting, shove these things out of your mind. You can’t input symbolism into a story that doesn’t exist, and you can’t develop characters that haven’t been born. 

Common Struggles

– The common struggles section of my “guide to__” posts are general questions sent in by readers on the topic at hand. If you have a question that has not been addressed thus far, you’ll probably find the answer in this section. As always, you’re welcome to send other questions to my inbox if you don’t find the answer in this post. –

~ How do I correctly pace a story?... The pace should depend on the genre and point of view, as these things are the framework of every plot. Generally, anticipation should be a slow burn and the big moments should be snappy and explosive, rather than drawn out. The exposition, climax, and resolution should take up the least amount of time in your story, and the rising action should be the majority of the rest of it.

~ What needs to be in your beginning, middle and end?... The answer to this question is answered when you choose a definitive structure model to either follow or build off of. I have a whole post about it here: Plot Structures

~ How can I know if I’ve resolved my major conflict enough?... The resolution of your story should leave the reader feeling satisfied with the protagonist’s overcoming their obstacle, but still leave enough room to anticipate more to come. 

~ How should the plot close?... This is entirely up to you, but I would take into account the possibility of a sequel. If it’s 100% a standalone story, give it a clean ending and tie up the loose ends, pat yourself on the back for all of the clever foreshadowing everyone missed, and leave the protagonists and beloved secondary characters’ futures looking bright. 

~ How do you write a plot around a theme?... Most stories that have a central theme are born from answering a tough question. George Orwell’s 1984 asked “What would the world look like if totalitarianism ruled society?”. Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 dealt with censorship and questioned whether bliss only belongs to the ignorant. Bottom line is, pick the theme you want to explore, and then ask yourself the tough questions. The story should be the process by which you find the answer. 

~ What is the best way to handle a large cast within a plot?... You have your main conflict and the plotline that surrounds it, and then you have various subplots, around 2-3 where you explore the world/characters further and immerse the reader in the stories. You can convince the reader to become invested in a large number of characters by making them heavily involved in the subplots. They should all touch the main plot considerably, but the bulk of their development should be in the subplot, and if you were to have 15 characters, you’d want around 3 subplots where 3-5 of them were important players. However, large casts that reader’s have trouble keeping up with is a problem that usually results from a writer’s inability to make cuts or combinations. Remember: the reader’s experience is the most important thing. It’s better to downsize your ideas than lose your readers altogether. 

Other Resources From My Blog That Help With This:

What Do You Do When You Over-Plan?

Resources For Plot Development

How To Write A Good Plot Twist

How To Foreshadow

Writing Long Stories Without Filler

Writing Stories About Your Own Experiences

Novel Planning 101

Tackling Subplots

Things A Reader Needs From A Story

How To Turn A Good Idea Into A Good Story

Planning A Scene

When To Stop Planning

How To Outline Outside Chapter Structure

Tips on Mapping Out A Series

Outlining By Chapter

How To Outline Effectively

Tips On Starting A Scene

How To Start A Novel

Character Driven vs. Plot Driven Stories

Plot Structures

Planning A Scene In A Story

Effective Ways Of Planning Chapters

Writing Meaningful Stories

Finding Your Own Writing Style

How To Write A Story Timeline

Making A Story Come Together

Tips on Planning A Series

Coming Up With Scene Ideas

General Resources For Plot Development

How To Engage The Reader

Coming Up With “Original” Ideas

Building Upon A Good Premise

Pacing Appropriately

–

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[kittyreading]

Manga Master List: Recommendations and My Personal Wish List

!!//PLEASE READ//!!

Below is every manga from my amazon wishlist I would recommend(as of February 11 2021) with a picture and a 3-5 sentence explanation of what the manga is about. Underneath will also be the number of volumes I have read, the number I own, and it’s status of ongoing or complete and how many volumes it has. This way you can decide for yourself if you think I have read enough of it to give an accurate recommendation.

This list only includes manga you can purchase (including digital purchases) from the wishlist. I decided that I would in fact include my personal amazon manga wishlist here and at the bottom for people to buy THEMSELVES a copy of any of these manga they would like. Keep in mind many of these won’t have volume 1 in the list but you should be able to get to the series page from the list. If a manga shows up on the amazon list that I did not include in this one that is because I have not read enough of them(or any of them) to recommend. Ok? Cool, enjoy the list!!

1. The Girl from the Other side is about a little girl living with a gentleman monster. It is a supernatural mystery with beautiful art.

Own: 0

Read 4

Series: Ongoing at 9 volumes

2. Pumpkin Scissors is a military fantasy about a War Veteran named Randal Oland who joins the pumpkin scissors core to help with war relief and uncover the deep corruption of the government. It is similar in themes to FMA in the sense it appears to be based on a World War, and corruption of government but it more focused on the power of the noble houses in government. There is also a fun science element but it is not as in focus as in FMA. The two but are very very different overall tho. Only 5 volumes were distributed in physical English copies as the publishing company went bankrupt, all others are only available digitally. (I couldn’t get the manga vol. 1 cover to work so the picture above is a poster for the anime)

Own: 0

Read: around 10

Series: Ongoing at 23 volumes

3. Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun is a slice of life about a bunch of highschoolers. Nozaki is the mangaka of a popular Shoujo manga who uses his personal experiences with friends to create his monthly comic series. It is a fun gender stereotype reversal manga with a large cast of both male and female characters (one could be HC as genderfluid but she’s still canonically female at this time) The manga is one of the easiest to read as the panels are mostly in straight down rectangles so the pages are extremely easy to follow and is very funny.

Own: 1

Read: 11

Status: Ongoing at 12 volumes

4. Yu-Gi-Oh! is well known to be about the card game yu-gi-oh, using magic and myths to further the story, HOWEVER, Yu-gi-oh! is the “Season 0″ of the series it is much darker than to be expected and there is no card game. The Yu-gi-oh most are familiar with is Yu-gi-oh Duelist (just found this out myself) and is the Yu-gi-oh you probably already know. There is no overarching plot to this mini series it is just Yugi fucking shit up playing games and destroying some bullies. I have yet to read any of Duelist as of the creation of this post therefore I cannot recommend it :/ 

Own: 5 (1-3 & 6-7)

Read: 7

Status: Completed at 7 volumes

5. The Way of the House Husband is about a former yakuza who gets married and flips his script. He becomes a house husband for his working wife and carries on doing chores and errands while still looking and acting scary unintentionally and getting himself in trouble. It is a slice of life comedy with some adult jokes but is over all extremely funny and pleasant to read.

Own: 0

Read: 2

Status: Ongoing at 7 volumes

6. Hikaru no Go is about a highschool boy who finds a haunted Go board. He meets the ghost who once was a prolific Go player. Together they work to become a world class Go champion meeting new people along the way. This series was cut short due to legal issues with a real Go player and therefore will remain unfinished but the story that is there is golden. It is still one of the most popular manga in Japan.

Own: 0

Read: 5

Status: Complete at 23 Volumes

7. Zatch Bell! This manga is about a teenager named Kiyo who gets sent a young boy with amnesia named Zatch Bell who turns out to be an alien called a momodo. Now the two must battle other momodo in order to understand what happened to Zatch and to make Zatch the new king. Along the way they make many friends and save both the momodo and human worlds. This one is difficult because it is a classic that did not do well in America so the volumes are expensive and the series is unfinished in English. You can only buy 27 of the volumes in English and a few of them are almost impossible to find, however it is well worth the money if you can afford it and it is available online.

Own: 6 (1-5 & 13)

Read: 15

Status: Complete at 33 Volumes only 27 printed in English (you can finish series online)

8. Fullmetal Alchemist is a cult classic most have read it, watched the series, or heard of it at the very least. This is one of the most popular Manga of all time and for good reason. The manga is about 2 brothers Alphonse and Edward on a journey to return their bodies to normal after committing the taboo of human transmutation. The manga has themes of racism, government corruption and manipulation of the military. The versions on my wishlist are the special Fullmetal Editions so they will have a different price point and volume number than the regular volumes or the omnibuses’ 

Own: 12

Read: 12

Status: Complete at 27 Volumes

9. Princess Jellyfish is about a young woman who is sort of an outcast otaku living with 5 other otaku women. She has a deep love for jellyfish as they remind her of her late mother. She meets a beautiful woman who turns out to be a male college student and slowly comes out of her shell making new friends and growing with old ones as well. This manga is very sweet and I really don’t know what else to say haha.

Own: 0

Read: 4

Status: Complete at 17 volumes

10. !!!HUGE TW FOR EATING DISORDERS!!! In Clothes Called Fat is a, oneshot, non romanticizing story of an office woman trying to lose weight and developing several eating disorders in the process. She goes through hardships in relationships and bullying as well. It has a bittersweet ending and should be read with caution but it is beautifully done. Please do not read this if you are under the age 16 at the very youngest there are NSFW moments as well as just generally not being a topic for younger audiences.

Own: No

Read: Yes

Status: Completed one shot

11. My LOVE Story!! Is an adorable Slice of Life shojo about a highschooler named Takeo Gouda, his girlfriend Yamato, and his best friend and hear throb Suna. This series is rather refreshing as the relationship starts pretty much immediately, the best friend is very supportive, and it is focused on Takeo’s personality over looks as he is often compared in manga to a gorilla or bear. It is a generally heart warming story with some emotional side plots. The ending is sort of sudden but it’s really enjoyable.

Own: 6 (1-3,8,10-12)

Read: 13

Status: Completed at 13 Volumes

12. Soul Eater is pretty popular but if you don’t know what it is about it is about a Weapon named Soul and his Meister Maka. They attend a school that teaches them how to defeat people before they turn into Demons, saving the world in the process. Once a weapon eats 100 evil souls and a witches soul they can become the new death Scythe! That is the plot presented, and it of course goes off into a much more complicated storyline. It is super fun and engaging with a fascinating plot near the end.

Own: 5

Read: 15

Status: Completed at 25 Volumes

13. D. Gray-Man is a little complicated. Similarly to Soul Eater D. Gray-Man is a story based around defeating people turned demon and the saving of the world through an organization, however the plot gets very complicated very quickly. The art is some of the most interesting and beautifully fun art I’ve come across and the characters are (so far as I’ve read) all amazing. The story has a lot of christian influence and is one you have to really keep up with to understand but I recommend it regardless!

Own: 10

Read: 10

Status: Ongoing at 27 Volumes

14. One-Punch Man is also very popular and is about a man who becomes so strong he only needs to punch you once to completely annihilate you, and it greatly annoys him. This manga greatly touches on the themes of self worth as Saitama becomes a hero that no one seems to want. The fights are fun and engaging, tho at times can be difficult to read. The art is gorgeous, with some of the most heavily detailed work I have ever seen.

Own: 3

Read: 7

Status: Ongoing at 21 Volumes

15. The Boy and The Beast is the manga adaptation of the movie by the same name. This is a bittersweet story about a boy who finds a family in the land of the beasts and the repercussions of this intermixing. It is sweet and sad and there’s not much else to say, but that it is a beautifully crafted story.

Own: 1

Read: 1 (but I’ve seen the movie and read the light novel)

Status: Complete at 4 Volumes

16. MAR is not a manga I should be recommending as I genuinely don’t think I have read enough of the story to do so but I love it so much I’m going to anyway. MAR is a classic Isekai Shonen, a kid goes through a door into another world and has to fight a war to save it, there is a super fun magic system and some wonderful story building with genuinely enjoyable characters and battles. I am recommending this more based off the anime than the manga itself because it was one of my absolute favorites when I was younger, so take from that what you will! This manga has the same issue Zatch Bell does however, the series did not do amazingly so the volumes can be expensive!

Own: 3

Read: 3

Status: Complete at 15 Volumes

Thank you for your time haha! I hope you liked the list, here is my wishlist again and if you have any questions please let me know!! I will try to keep this master list updated as it and the wishlist will only continue to grow, but I make no promises for doing it often. Making this took me a very long time so I hope you like it!

[icypantherwrites]

To all of my fellow writers / artists here:

Please tell me I am not alone in dealing with the sheer amount of hateful, cruel, rude commenters and frankly at this point trolls on my works, as while I do not wish this experience on anyone I really hope for my sake this is not just happening to me.

For the past couple months I've been hit with an influx of cruel comments, of people posting hateful messages in regards to my author's notes requesting comments, of people telling me I write "disturbing, toxic" things, of people who, without prompting, launch a tirade about how much attention they feel my works receive and compare it to their own and get irrationally angry.

For the most part I delete these comments as responding to them, especially when 99% of them are anonymous accounts, goes nowhere and just invites these people to harass me more. But lately when I delete them (which to my knowledge doesn't trigger any sort of alert via email) I am within the hour lambasted by a flurry of comments from the person whose comment I deleted, which tells me they were sitting and refreshing on the page waiting for me to do just that or rise to their bait. Things insulting me, my works, telling me I can't "handle" criticism (of which a; I did not ask for and please don't offer critique on anyone's work unless they do and b; their comments were not constructive criticism in the slightest), and on and on.

Today was sort of the final straw as someone, without prompting, called my work disturbing and said they'd never read this particular story (Unspoken, in case anyone was wondering) and were only commenting now because I had said in the author's note I was looking to focus on updating just one or two fics at a time (I have currently 5 ongoing chaptered fics and it's getting to be too much and I don't like having a month between updates for some of them) and would be choosing the most engaged fics to update at this time and requested if fans of that story would like to see it regularly updated to please engage as otherwise it would be marked for hiatus.

This person attacked me for why it was on hiatus and why I was not able to post it (since it's a commission it has to be finished after all) and went off on me about my requests for engagement of the story and aired issues they had with me taking commissions and requests which is "illegal" (cough, one off commissions are not ;)) and clearly not knowing I donate a large chunk of what I make back to charities and Gofundmes because helping others helps me and I need a lot of emotional help these days xD

I deleted it and moved on, but within minutes this person came back attacking me again with a lot of the above notes including the fact I had to take commissions because I couldn't handle writing my own works, which bothers me personally as those commissions *are* my works as 99% of the time I create the entire plot from a very broad prompt and even if someone did have a bullet point list it is still *my* writing. I marked it as spam and have now set that particular story to comment moderation, but I am still bracing myself for a bevy of attack and troll comments I'll have to read through.

And I just... don't understand.

I post all of my works on AO3 for free; it's at almost 2 million words of posted content. I update regularly and post a few new one shot stories a month. I try my best to respond to comments when I have the energy and when I don't I keep updating so people can continue reading and hopefully that continued posting of content shows them how much I value their support.

But I'm hit with at least a troll a week, sometimes more, of just this pure hate and what I can only assume is jealousy in my comments section, something that I use to help and buoy myself and encourage myself to keep posting. I didn't ask for all of this hate. I am just trying to post my works and if people want to, they can find more on my Patreon but I don't advertise it whatsoever on my AO3. I'm posting my works there solely so I can share them with the fandom and ask for engagement as fandom is a two-way street and a little appreciation and support for art goes a long, long way.

And I don't want to set my AO3 where every fic needs comment moderation. I don't want to have to go a step even further and only allow logged in users to be able to read my stories. But I am slowly reaching that point and feel so drained and tired all the time and always bracing myself for the next comment to be something cruel and unwarranted and I just...

Don't know how long I can keep doing this for. Not like this. I want to share my works, but I can't keep sharing them and terrified each time I get a comment that it's going to be a cruel one. And so if anyone out there has been dealing with this regularly too, please tell me I'm not alone. Tell me if you have a solution, any advice, anything that could help. I'm tired. I'm drained. And I am at the end of my rope :(

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Cosmic {1}

Lewis Tan x OFC Jupiter Azari

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Flirting, POV Changes, Fake Social Media Inserts

Words: 4k

Summary: Lewis has been single for three years after a stifling relationship that ended because of his reluctance to make a strong enough commitment. In that time, he’s focused on his career and living his life to the fullest. His goal was to have worthwhile experiences and make lasting connections. He’s got the experiences part down, but he’s never felt any sort of lasting connection until he’d seen your posts. After months of stalking your Instagram, he can’t stop thinking about you and decides to take a chance. Maybe it was time for him to take a chance on something new. 

Note: *Sigh* Another one, I know. *Deeper Sigh*. I apologize for the blurriness in some of the FAKE IG DMs. I’ve been working on this for so long, and finally, I can post a little something for it. Please tell me what you think. I am so excited to hear your thoughts.

Thank you guys so much for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/ Proofread***

***Interactive***

***Fake IG Post Creations***

-Lewis-

 He’d been single for a long time now. Three years. He’d been in a serious relationship for twice as long, so the math was right to him. There was no lying that he missed some of the advantages of relationships and having someone to journey through life’s ups and downs with. He missed things such as intimate dinner dates, entwining his fingers with someone else’s and relishing the feel of skin against skin, getting to know someone almost as well as he knew himself, and deep, fulfilling conversations. One of the most significant things he missed was companionship.

He knew he was not an unattractive guy. He also knew that being who he was, he could meet people effortlessly have a series of no strings attached romances where his physical needs were minimally satisfied for a short time. That was not a problem, but he’d long realized that was never enough for him. He needed more—a lot more. His busy schedule didn’t help matters at all, either. He was either on a flight every week or going between fight practice, meetings, filming, and a lot more. It took time to nourish a relationship and mold it so it could blossom into something strong and beautiful, time he just didn’t have. It was a simple fact—or so he thought.

 More and more, he’d been feeling as if maybe he could make that time; maybe he could find a way to have the highly sought after satisfying professional life but also that deeply fulfilling personal life. Maybe it was possible without having something or someone fall to the side. He began to think maybe he was ready to address his other needs.

 Groaning, he looked at the clock beside him. Two o’clock. Rolling out of bed, he walked into his bathroom. The day before was a long one; he hadn’t gotten in until nearly three in the morning. This was the first day in several that he’d been able to get more than seven hours of sleep. His body was telling him something. After tackling his hygiene routine, he pulled on a pair of his athletic quick-dry leggings and shorts then made his way to the back of his beach house.

It was another beautiful day in Spain, and he was ready to carpe diem the hell out of it—after he got his jog in. As he ran his standard four miles, his mind wandered to a variety of topics. He ran down his schedule for the next few days, went over his goals for the month, and made mental notes of things he needed to get done for the week. He believed in discipline, and the utmost show of discipline was having some over one’s life. Perhaps it was something he learned from his father as he trained in martial arts, or maybe it was a life lesson he’d picked up after so many years in the industry, both working and associating.

 By the time he plopped down onto the cool sand, almost two hours had passed, and he was sweaty and out of breath. He panted while gaping at the softy rolling waves and the faint sounds of the seagulls. It was a sight to be seen, one he was appreciative of. As he was getting lost in the view, a reminder popped up on his phone.

 *Social Media update*

 Sighing, he opened up his Instagram account and scrolled through his feed. If he didn’t set reminders for himself about social media, he would forget it entirely. He was one of those people who preferred to live life unfiltered and didn’t see a need to blog or vlog every little thing. He liked to share meaningful things. On the other hand, his team made it a priority for him to do more than share meaningful things. Their motto is if you’re not being seen or talked about, your brand and existence are inconsequential.

 So, four times a day, he had reminders set up. The plan was to engage with his fans while showing his personality. His agent’s exact words were; “Show the world what a swoon-worthy guy Lewis Tan is.”

 Just as he clicked over to his drafts, he registered her face. Quickly he tapped back onto his feed and on her recent post. It was an incredibly artistic photo of what could have been the universe, or even the mind’s third eye, or possibly a woman giving birth. It was just that subjective, but it was done in a way that made it seem as if you were looking through a kaleidoscope. He sat there marveling at the first photo, not even realizing there were three more that accompanied it.

 As he swiped through them, his mind was further blown. Each one gave off a psychedelic vibe. When he got to the last one, he found himself sighing out at the sight of her. The caption was,  “Art is subjective; who do you see?” Her face was one that easily held someone captive. Her eyes were impossibly deep and inviting. They drew him in, in a haunting and mysterious way. Even her username was creative as fuck. JupiterFallingToEarth.

 He’d spent weeks following her activity. She posted every day about once a day, sometimes two, and her posts ranged from artistic shots of landscapes, items, herself, and then she also posted products and fashion. It was clear she was a lifestyle blogger, and according to some of her posts, she was probably an influencer of some sort. There was something about her that drew him in from the first post he accidentally came across. That was four months ago.

 Since then, he’d practically stalked her page. The second he got a notification that she’d posted something, he was looking at it soon after. When he saw her stories, they always put a smile on his face. She was effortlessly adorable and sexy at the same time. It was a contradiction but one that you wore well. He didn’t know if he’d turned into one of those guys he’d seen countless times on Instagram. The ones who stalked a woman’s page and liked every single one of her posts and left vague comments under her pictures that could come off as creepy. He feared he had turned into that man.

 His interactions with her hadn’t gone to creepy lengths. He’d liked most of your posts, never commented because gossip was a real thing in his world, but liked other people’s comments under your posts. Sometimes he’d even tune in if you were on lives, and every time he watched, he was always filled with an urge to know you—really. He wondered if you’d even noticed he’d liked your pictures or if you’d gone to his page from curiosity to get lost in his content. One thing was sure; you’d never liked any of his posts. He’d noticed.

 “Get a fucking grip, man.”

 To help him on his way, he dropped his phone in the sand and ran to the waves hoping the water would do the trick. The coldness of the water shocked him, but it was a welcomed shock. Swimming further out to sea, he fought against the tide. Though he was exhausted, and his limbs were damn near numb, he pushed himself for just a little longer.  

 Ten minutes later, he dropped back onto the sand by his belongings while trying to catch his breath. That swim had his adrenaline surging competing with his exhaustion. Grabbing his phone, he went back to his drafts. Rather than posting one of them, he took a few shots of himself as he was dripping wet and all. Deciding on a relaxed-looking one, he prepped it to post. Before he did, though, he added a caption.

With it posted, he hopped to it. After a quick shower, he was off to tackle the day. On the agenda were three meetings for some brands that wanted him to work with them. The first up was a local Spanish sunglass brand, Vosotros. Throughout the meeting, he could tell that the campaign that they wanted to do was centered around bodies. Since the brand translated to the word “you,” their pitch was why not focus on everyone’s best selling feature—their body. It was a bit shallow for him, but the product was nice, and the pay was equally as appealing.

 After signing the contract, he moved to the second meeting. This one was for a couture men’s wear brand, Alma. This one he was familiar with. He’d worn many of their suits. They were comfortable but stylish and made from the best fabrics. He always felt like a million bucks when he wore them. This one was a no-brainer for him, and the compensation was the icing on the cake.

 Right before the third meeting began, he found he was running a little bit empty. The last time he’d had a meal was the night before. Before the meeting started, he pulled out his phone with the intent to figure out what was nearby so he could refuel once the meeting was finished. Once he saw the notifications, he opened up Instagram just to glance at them, but after scrolling through the eight thousand, among them, he found her name. Thinking he’d seen things, he scrolled all the way back to the top to refresh it, then scrolled back down, and sure enough, there it was.

 She’d liked six of his posts back to back. He couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread across his face. It was so broad that anyone would have thought he’d never gotten a like in his life. He spent the next few minutes going through which posts she’d liked. Each one made him smile wider and wider. By the time the prospective employers walked in, he was refueled enough to carry him through the rest of the day.

 ~~~~~~~~~~ 

-Y/N-

You’d finally bit the bullet. After four months of seeing the notifications on every one of your posts that he’d liked it or liked a comment under; it was about time. Right? The truth was you noticed each of them. The first time you got the notification, you almost fell out of your seat. You knew who he was because you’d seen one or two things that he’d been in and always thought he was hot, but of course, it was in passing. After the second notification of his like, you rushed to his page to go through each of his posts and found yourself salivating over every picture.

 After about half an hour, you got snapped back to your senses. The odds of it being him were slim to none. While you knew many celebrities liked to troll social media for their next piece of ass or entertainment, you never got that vibe from him. You deduced it must have been either a fan page or catfish at its best. So what did you do? Ignored it.

 You ignored every notification and did your best to shrug off the basal instinct that had your belly fluttering. In total, you had nearly two hundred posts, and he’d liked each and every one of them. It was a lot of ignoring. Today though, something came over you, and that something had you going to his page to see his new post. You couldn’t do anything else but stare. The truth was your finger slipped to tap the heart, and once you did, you tapped it again to unlike, but you knew once a like went through, you couldn’t take it back. Your only option was to deal with it. You dealt with it by liking five more of his pictures. Go big or go home, right.

 After ten minutes, you were still lamenting over if you should have or shouldn’t have. The internal conflict in you was high, especially when you began to kick yourself for overthinking it. There was no way it was really him. It was impossible. With that in mind, you calmed yourself enough to meet up with your friends. After pressing mute on your notifications, you proceeded to get yourself ready. It had been a good week since you and your friends had gotten the opportunity to hang out due to your busy schedules.

 When you were more than halfway there, your excitement began bubbling. When the four of you got together, it was always a good time. As soon as the Lyft dropped you off at the restaurant, a new construction that all four of you were dying to try, you were more than ready to eat, drink, and laugh. You stood outside for a few moments to admire the chosen exterior décor. It was an intricate mix of modern and seaside charm. It definitely was something different for the neighborhood.

 Walking inside past a line of about twelve or so people, you marveled at the entrance of the restaurant. Whoever designed it truly did a fabulous job. It was featured in the papers as one of the best new restaurants to try out in the downtown area. The way they’d incorporated indoor plants seriously captivated your attention.

“Welcome to Creator, my name is Kenji,” began the host who towered over you by like eight inches and bore green-hazel eyes. He was cute. “Do you have a reservation?” His smile was wide, and it showed off that his two front teeth were bigger than all the others. He made it work, though.

 “Yes. I believe my party is already here. I’m not sure who it’s under, though.”

 Kenji scanned the list of names on the iPad before her. As he did that, you scrolled through your texts to find the details that Zoë sent you. After a few short moments, he glanced back at you. After you found the reservation name, you rolled your eyes. Your friends thought they were funny.

 “Found it?”

 “Yes, and I apologize in advance,” you began. Kenji, the host, wrinkled his brow, not getting it. He would, though.

 Clearing your throat, held your head high, then spoke. “Punani Dasani.”

 Kenji’s eyes widened, then he pinched his lips tightly before he nodded and tapped a few keys on the iPad.

 “Wow. Eh-em. Yep, they’re here.”

 Nodding, you dropped your phone back into your clutch. When you looked back up, you caught Kenji’s eyes glued to your cleavage. When his eyes met yours, the embarrassment in them was obvious. Dipping his head, he signaled for you to follow him.

 The two of you walked through the restaurant under low hung plants, vines, and flowers. It was like walking through the garden of Adam and Eve. That must be what the owner had in mind when naming it Creation. It was clever, you thought. Just then, Kenji approached the table with your three friends. Once they saw you, they made a loud “Skeee” sound bringing the attention to those nearby. You couldn’t take them anywhere.

 “You guys think you’re funny with the reservation name?”

 They all laughed at you as you dipped down and greeted each of them with cheek kisses.

 “How did he look at you? From the way he keeps looking back, I can bet he wanted to sample that punani Dasani,” Tati joked to each of their delight.

 They were a trip, always had been. You, Tati, Monaè, and Zoë had been friends since high school and somehow managed to remain tight even though you each went your separate ways to different colleges. You each had spent two years apart until you came back together to finish your final two years of university together.

 “Don’t be mad. He wasn’t that cute anyway,” Monaè said, opening the menu before her.

 Cold-hearted, you thought as you did the same. Dinner progressed with laughs and stories of your days and recent happenings in your lives. As you ate, you decided to forget everything else and just enjoy yourself. You were in desperate need of a girl’s night, so you vowed to enjoy it fully.

 The food was delicious. Somehow they’d managed to make it taste healthy but also savory and completely indulgent. You felt as if every bite you took added thirty pounds, but you knew it wasn’t possible. The flavors all melded together so well that you wanted to send a message to the chef, letting them know they’d done well.

After a deeply fulfilling meal, the four of you piled into a Lyft and made it to your favorite club, Surge.  The music in the club was so loud that you could feel it bouncing inside of you. After getting your first round of drinks, the dancing began, and when the four of you got together with drinks and music, it was always an event.  You jumped into the middle of your circle and busted out your wine. Tati grabbed your phone from your hands and began recording you. Ignoring the camera and the gathering crowd, you allowed the alcohol to do its job and take you away.

 When you heard your friends cheering you on, you decided to really bust out your moves. Dropping to the floor, you did your best twerk. Holding your drink in the air, you began to wine your hips as you stood. It was one of your favorite moves. When you turned around, you saw Tati up close and personal. Slapping your hand in front of the lens, you giggled as you took your phone back to end the recording.

 “Jesus girl, those hips definitely don’t lie,” Monaè teased, making all your friends laugh.

 From behind, you felt someone approach you and place their hand on your waist. Turning, you gave him the rays of death with your stare telling him to back off. As quickly as he’d had the audacity to put his hand on you, he took it off just as quickly and backed away.

 “And don’t come back,” Zoë shouted.

 By the time you made it back home, it was three in the morning, and your feet hurt almost as much as your ass did. After leaving the club, the four of you had an impromptu photo shoot that lasted almost forty-five minutes and ended with you on your ass at the bottom of the pile once you’d tried some ridiculous cheerleading pose trying to relive your high school days. Big mistake.

 After a quick shower that had you almost falling asleep a few times, you dove into your bed, ready for some well-deserved rest. Just as you’d gotten comfortable, your phone’s alarm went off. Groaning, you reached over the edge of the bed, grabbing your bag to rifle through it. With your phone in hand, you blearily stared at the harsh light making your eyes feel as if they hadn’t closed in days rather than hours. You went to your alarm to turn it off, deciding that your routine dawn photo expedition would have to be rescheduled. You were too exhausted.

 Just as you were going to toss it away, you saw the notification of messages on Instagram. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you slid it down to get a preview. Through the blur in your eyes, you saw an icon that looked familiar. Tapping it, you nearly swallowed your tongue when you saw Lewis Tan’s image. Bolting upright, you coughed and slid to brace your back on your headboard.

 “What the--!”

The minute you saw it, you couldn’t believe your eyes. He’d send you a message. Chewing your bottom lip, you studied the time he’d sent it—over four hours ago. You then realized he’d see that you saw it, and you debated in your head if you should reply.

 “Jesus, get it together. Just say something simple,” you coached.

It was weak, but it was the best you had. You wondered if he would think it was weak too. As you obsessed about that, you also realized just how late it was. You’d responded to a DM at booty call hours. Rolling your eyes, you slouched back on your headboard. Your eyelids were heavy, and they drooped, trying to tell you something. Once they closed, your phone chimed that elaborate tone for your notifications.

Why had you responded? It was clear this was some fan page who either was using his image to catfish or gain followers. You never responded to questionable DMs, and this was as questionable as they got.

Even though you were still fighting your sleep, part of you was intrigued.

Flipping your smart TV on, and you turned to the Netflix app and found something for background noise.

Nibbling your bottom lip, you thought for a few moments. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that had you thinking this deeply or if it was something else.

You snorted and shook your head. “He’s really going down with the ship, huh.”

This was always the reaction when anyone found out your name. They were always shocked and speechless. Usually, you got a few corny jokes or mentions about your favorite planet must be Jupiter or bring up some astronomy fact that was always wrong. It was annoying. You braced yourself for some equally corny mention from him.

The corny mention never came.

Your heart fluttered, and you couldn’t help but cheese from his compliment. You hadn’t expected it. Though you tried to stop smiling, you couldn’t. There was something about his words. It wasn’t like you’d never heard sweet words before. You had. This shouldn’t have been any different.

The exhaustion began to take a more significant hold, and you slid lower, tucking your comforter underneath your chin.

Filming? What the heck was he talking about, you wondered. He was really taking this shit a little too far.

You bolted upright again. Was he seriously going to take this that far?

He was insane, absolutely mental. You were so damn ready to end this. One thing you hated was dishonesty. You especially hated being toyed with.

There was no way that he could prove it. What was he going to do?

He thought you were an idiot. He must have. Your anger was rising.

Rolling your eyes, you tossed your phone beside you. You knew the chances of him passing this test were slim to none. You couldn’t believe that you’d given up the last thirty minutes of sleep for this. Groaning, you dropped back down, determined to drift away to sleep. Almost two minutes passed before you heard your chime again. Fighting the urge, you turned to your side, trying your best to ignore the fact that you knew he’d sent something.

After two minutes of curiosity killing you, you flung your hand back, grabbed your phone while flipping onto your back. You held your phone above your face, opened the app, and there he was.

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes drank in every inch and rippling ab. Jesus, you thought. As you were bringing your phone closer, you didn’t register that a video call was coming in. without even realizing it, you answered, and the same image you’d been looking at moments ago was now live. The only difference was the frame wasn’t as low to show his incredible abs. It cut right at his chest, giving you a peek at his dark, dusty rose nipples. You were utterly frozen. He smiled and raked his hand through his hair before he bit onto his bottom lip. It was Lewis fucking Tan.

 “Enough proof for you?” He smiled, and that was when your phone slipped and fell right in your face.

 “Fuck, owww!”

 The pain was so strong you were tearing up. Rolling to the side, you rubbed your face, then searched for your phone. When you got to it, the video call had ended, showing you your home screen.

 You began to freak out. “Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!”

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