#because even that is better than continuing to live like they do)

[weaselle]

100% !

you have lots of little guys in and on you that are doing you favors right now. Favors like preventing skin conditions and blemishes, favors like keeping you from getting infections.

If you nuke them off your biome it will cause you problems. Your hands do this crazy extra tough skin callous growth trick, and can handle a lot more chemical warfare (but even they have their limits, ask nurses and dishwashers about their hands some time) but the rest of your youness contains a lot of microbial civilians doing their favor jobs in their fragile home environment, and don't need a tidal wave of acidic poison to obliterate them into nothingness.

honestly, unless you've got something on you like paint or sewage or motor oil or something, you shouldn't really need anything other than your hand or a clean cloth and some clean warm water. Most of what soap does is strip the oils off your skin and that alone can cause you problems.

Like soap is good and important and you should especially be washing your hands with soap for good social hygiene, but for mooost of your body, the paradigm has been no soap at all for the last billion years or so, and that continues to be a pretty good option for us. Your body builds itself in the womb following a blueprint that assumes there is no such thing as soap.

There are microbes that have evolved to live only on human skin and we one thousand percent want them there. Clean water (and maybe letting mud dry on us and then peeling it off sometimes) has been the totally great thing we've always used to be clean.

And the water and friction do a great job! Washing your hands with water alone kills almost 80% of bacteria on your hands in studies by the National Institute of Health. Soap merely brings that number to about 92%. So you're still getting rid of most of the baddies you want gone, the microbial civvies on their home turf in your biome will survive and multiply which you want, and the water will get rid of the organic byproducts that make you stinky bad, so that you can stinky good

Again, sanitizers and soaps are important to use on our hands that touch everything we share, most of what is in the world around us, and also our mouths, eyes, and most intimate places, and hands are good at surviving soaps and sanitizers (within reason). And if you want to use soap on your skin everywhere and that's working for you fine, though if you want to smell good, may i recommend getting clean scrubbing with simple water and then using a small misting of some kind of perfume, instead of stripping your skin of the oils your skin needs by lathering soap all over you in the name of smelling better. But soap away if that's your thing.

But please, please use antibacterial soaps and other sterilizing materials as the chemical weapons they are, targeted and purposeful, instead of simply smearing them all over our body every day for no good reason

Because not only all that, but your shower drains into the sewer, and the more antibacterial/antibiotic treatments we wash down into the sewers (which we pee out when we get prescribed antibiotics too, btw) the more certain horrifying illness-causing bacteria evolve to become immune to all antibiotics and sanitizers. It's already quite a serious issue. For example, Bacteria that are resistant to colistin, a last-resort antibiotic we use when nothing else works, has for the first time been detected in Los Angeles County wastewater.

so lets all just calm down a little, with the dousing ourselves in poisonous sterilizing chem baths and taking antibiotics for every little thing. You know all those "pro-biotic" drinks and yogurts and things that are popular now? well those micro-biotics that are so pro for you, they live all throughout your personal biome, not just in your gut. For every one human cell in your body there are approximately 10 microbes. Most of which are doing you favors. Be nice to them.

Antibacterial soap??? For your body???

[nick-writes-stuff]

Safety Measure

Hwang In-ho x gn!reader

summary: You have been living with In-ho in his apartment for a year, still haunted by the experience you had in these very halls. When a breach of security happens, your life relies on the safety measures put in place to protect you as well as the fury of the Front Man himself.

!warnings: canon-typical violence, reader is manhandled and held at gunpoint, home invasion, description of a panic attack, hurt/comfort fic

a/n: YIPPEE! I love this one, guys. This is kind of a follow-up to One-sided Reunion, but it can be read totally standalone. (also yeah i'm implying the games work like the olympics, it made sense for the narrative lmao)

Things between you and In-ho had been going great. You had been living with him in his suite on the island for about a year now. That meant the annual game cycle had just begun. You were still hesitant about them continuing. You weren't entirely sold on the societal benefits of them, but you weren't going to actively try to stop them.

You weren't going to deal with the games this time. You basically wanted to forget they were happening. It felt wrong for you to do that, ignoring the fact that people were going through the experience that left you wishing to avoid them. You should feel vindicated to end their suffering, but you just couldn't. The idea of being involved in them, either as an aid or a hindrance, was terrifying to you. In-ho had tried to give you a tour of the compound once, and you got panicky the second you saw the pink, yellow, and blue stairs.

However, that didn't mean you were locked away in the suite all day. He showed you a way to get outside that didn't involve wandering through the familiar settings that haunted your mind. There was a beautiful garden area that you had taken up maintaining while In-ho was busy with the games.

He felt so much better now that there was something he cared for. The suite no longer felt suffocating and lonely. There was someone to return to. Usually the nights had been long and quiet and filled with a little too much whiskey at times, but now he had you. He could come back to the suite and let the mask go and just be himself.

And you were more than willing to be there waiting for him. Even if he had other responsibilities, he always made you feel like you were a priority because you were a priority to him. His devotion to you was greater than his devotion to the games by tenfold at least.

He was always thoughtful. He would take every opportunity to give you things. Not always something expensive or showy, either. Sometimes he would give you an origami crane he made while he was bored in a meeting or a snack he knew you loved that had arrived in the latest shipment that he definitely didn't go out of his way to arrange.

His thoughtfulness extended into anxiety about your safety. Since Gi-hun's attempted uprising, fear had been eating at him. They had been so close to finding their way into the management area. And also after his brother's stunt when he ended up in the suite. He was a bit hypervigilant at times, something you liked to tease him about occasionally.

So when the research and development team brought updated microchips to his attention, he was all ears. Everyone who worked on the compound had one of the chips implanted behind their ear, just like the players did. The new version of these chips included the ability to send a distress signal via pressure sensitivity. Rubbing your fingers over the chip with moderate pressure would be able to send an alert. They had proposed the idea because it would be a way to ensure protection without having an outside device. A phone or a button would draw attention. The person in danger would have a harder time hiding a handheld device and using it covertly. If they were able to use the chip, there was no evidence of the device for the perpetrators to see.

He rolled out the new chips for everyone involved in the compound. You received one as well, obviously. You didn't mind much seeing as you had already had one before. In-ho felt more at ease knowing that the key to your safety was behind your right ear.

He just wished he never had to see its usefulness. But what can go wrong will go wrong.

You had finished your work in the garden and had come back to the suite to start fixing dinner. It was a Tuesday, which was typically the day In-ho had a majority of the evening free. He liked having the time to be away from the games, having the time to take off the mask. You had quickly changed out of your clothes and headed into the kitchen. You washed your hands and heard the door to the suite open behind you.

You glanced at your watch. “You're here early.” You called out in a questioning tone. You dried off your hands and turned around, but it wasn't who you expected. It wasn't him at all.

You were looking down a barrel of a rifle, a man in black holding it toward you. You dropped the towel, lifting your hands into the air. “Who the hell are you?” You asked. You tried not to tremble. This was the first time you had seen a weapon since you were escorted to the suite after your time in the games.

The man glared at you. “I could ask you the same question.” He shot back. He took a step toward you.

You wanted to say something to him, but you couldn't get the words out.

“Here's how this is going to go,” He said. He closed the distance between you. You backed yourself against the counter. “You're going to tell me where my sister is, and I won't put a bullet between your pretty eyes.” He said through gritted teeth.

You flinched as he aimed the gun at your head. You couldn't look at him, too scared to look at the metal he was holding.

He was impatient and angry and holding a gun. “I'm not gonna ask you again.” He yelled. You let out a whimper, as if you couldn't look any more pathetic.

“I don't know who your sister is. I don't know anything, okay?” You said. Your voice was shaking as much as your hands were.

“Is she in one of these rooms?” He asked.

You shook your head. “I don't know where she is. I just live here.” You said.

He scoffed at you. “Bullshit.” He spat, "I know she's here. You did something to her." He was getting more irate, practically screaming.

You shook your head frantically. "I don't know, okay?!" You cried out. He rolled his eyes at you. "I'm not the one in charge here. I just live here."

He slung the rifle over his shoulder and pulled a pistol from the holster on his hip. He pointed it at you. “Get over here.” He ordered. You froze. “Get the fuck over here.” He yelled. Your mind was still frozen, but your legs followed his order.

He grabbed you roughly, holding you in front of him and pushing the cold metal into your back. “If you aren't the one in charge, you're going to lead me to who is.” He said. You were glad he couldn't see your face as you smirked slightly despite the circumstances. In-ho was the last person he wanted to encounter right now.

“I don't know this place well, but I can try.” You said.

He scoffed at you. "I thought you lived here?" He yelled.

"I live in the apartment. I don't go out there." You said.

He tightened his grip on your shoulder, leaving you wincing from the jolt of pain. "Awfully convenient." He muttered.

He shoved you forward toward the exit of the suite. “What are these rooms?” He asked, his loud voice ringing in your ears.

“They are just rooms in the apartment. One is a bedroom and one is a storage room.” You said shakily. He looked at you skeptically. He didn't believe you. He turned to open the door of the storage room. He was tearing the room apart. You didn't even know what was in there. You never bothered to ask.

You took that as your moment. You raised your trembling hand and dug your fingers into the skin behind your ear. You definitely did it with more force than necessary, but you just wanted to make sure you got it to work. When you see him start to turn around, you let your hands return to your sides.

He stepped out and grabbed your shoulder again and jabbed you in the back with the barrel of the gun. His fingers dug into your skin. You knew he would probably leave bruises. “Let's go.” He urged, pushing you forward. You were leading him blindly, but you hoped you would make it convincing enough for him.

–

In-ho was watching over the voting process after the first game. It was a rather tedious task, as he was really just watching a few hundred people getting in line to push a button. That was until he heard the alarm start to sound off. He turned to one of the managers, the blank eyes of the mask staring into the square outline. “What is that?” He asked, but he already knew. His blood ran cold, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“It's, uh-" the manager paused to think of the way to phrase it, "It's their alarm, Sir" You didn't have a title in the compound since you hadn't been involved in the operation yet. Most people didn't even know you were still on the island. Only a very select few of the managers knew that you were here.

“Where are they?” He said. The filter in his mask helped to mask the growing anxiety.

“They are just leaving the suite now.”

In-ho didn't waste time. “Start investigating the breach. You two,” He ordered, gesturing to the two triangle soldiers posted at the door, “with me.” He said. He rushed out of the control room. He had the upper hand of knowing the layout of the building.

You were trying not to lead the intruder in circles, but you literally had no idea where you were going. “Are you sure you're going the right way?” He snapped.

“I don't know the layout here, I told you that.” You said. You didn't want him to realize it, but you were crying now.

“You're fucking useless.” He hissed, digging the barrel into your spine again. You whimpered, scared of what he would do.

In-ho was able to hear that exchange, and he was seething. He pulled out his own revolver, keeping it low at his side, before turning the corner, and his eyes landed on you and the man.

The man quickly moved the gun from your back to your temple. You tried to flinch away from it, but he tightened his grip on your arm. He was using you as a shield, but he was looking over your shoulder.

You looked at In-ho with wide eyes. Your breathing was shallow as you panicked. Any source of comfort you could gain from his presence was hidden behind the mask, literally and metaphorically. You couldn't see his face, and he couldn't say anything comforting to you because he knew showing an attachment could create problems later on.

You understood his reasoning, but it wasn't enough at the moment. You could very well die here, and the last thing you see of him is the black polygonal mask. You were also scared that he would have to watch you die if something went wrong here. He would have to watch it and hold in his grief because the others couldn't know. You didn't want to become one of the ghosts of people from his past that still haunted his mind.

“I take it that you're looking for me.” In-ho said coldly. The mask was hiding it, but he was scared right now. He couldn't even remember the last time he was scared. But seeing you treated like this terrified him.

The man laughed angrily, “Looks like you weren't as stupid as I thought.” He snapped, punctuating his statement by digging the barrel of the gun into your skin. He looked over your shoulder toward In-ho. “Now, you're gonna show me where my sister is, or I'm gonna put a bullet in-”

The man was cut off by a gunshot, the bullet going straight through his skull. You screamed, scrambling away from the man. For a second, you thought the man shot you. You put your hand up to your temple, pulling it away to see blood. But it wasn't yours.

In-ho froze for a moment, taking a deep breath. He was still holding out his revolver, finger on the trigger after he took the man out. Once it registered in his brain that you were safe, he turned to the soldiers.

“Deal with this.” He said shortly to them. He took a step forward and grabbed your hand. He led you back toward the suite. He didn't do or say anything to you at first. He didn't need any of the soldiers realizing that you were a vulnerability of his.

Once the door shut behind you both, he pulled the mask off, letting it clatter to the ground as he pulled you into his arms. You cried into his chest, hands clenching around the fabric of his jacket.

He tried to calm you down, but it was obvious that he was shaken up by it as well. He gently ran his fingers through your hair. “Hey, it's okay now. You're safe now. He's gone. It's okay.” He whispered repeatedly.

You tried to calm down, but you couldn't manage it. You could feel the man's blood drying on your face and hand. You could still feel the dull ache where he grabbed you. You were shaking in his arms, breathing ragged and shallow.

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. "I'm right here, okay? We're safe in here." He murmured. You nodded slightly. After a few minutes, your grip on his jacket loosened slightly. Your breathing slowed somewhat, but you still weren't calm.

“Do you want to go sit down?” He asked. You looked up at him. Your eyes were still wide and were now glassy and red from crying. You nodded. You couldn't even think about forming words right now.

He led you over toward the couch with a gentle hand on your elbow. He avoided touching your shoulders as he didn't know if you were hurt, and he certainly didn't want to remind you of the man's touch. After you sat down, he looked down at you. “I'll be right back, okay? I'm just going over to the kitchen.” He said. He waited for you to nod slightly before walking away.

He returned with a wet towel and a glass of water. You haven't moved since he left, still staring at the same spot on the floor with a faraway gaze. He got on his knees in front of you, setting the glass on the hardwood floor for a moment.

“I'm just going to wipe off your face, okay?” He asked. He placed his hand gingerly on your jaw, using the other to wipe the blood off. He tried to steady his own hands to no avail. He gently grabbed your hand and wiped it as well. “Do you want a drink?” He asked. You shook your head. He nodded. He walked over and placed it and the towel on an end table.

He sat down next to you. You turned so you were sitting perpendicular to him. You laid your legs across his and leaned into him. Your head rested against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat, which served to ground you. One of his arms wrapped around you while his other hand found its way into your hair.

You were still crying, but you had definitely calmed down somewhat. “Deep breaths, okay? Can you do that for me?” He murmured. You nodded slightly. You instinctively matched his breathing as he rubbed your arm. His anxiety was definitely lessening, but he still felt an intense anger in the back of his mind. Part of him wished he left the man alive so he could make him suffer.

After a few minutes of sitting like that, he moved his hands. One cupped your cheek gently, guiding your gaze to him. “If you don't want to, you don't have to, but could you tell me what happened?” He asked gently. It would be helpful to know so he could properly investigate the incident, but he also knew it wouldn't be a pleasant thing to discuss.

You sat quietly for a moment, moving back to your original position. “I was starting to make dinner, and I heard the door open and..." You said, trailing off as your breathing started to quicken again.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." He said, hushing you quietly. His embrace tightened slightly, resting his chin on the top of your head. "We don't have to talk about it now. Don't worry about it, okay?" You nodded slightly.

You both sat there for a moment. You started to shakily take deeper breaths. In-ho started humming softly. You didn't recognize the song, but you knew it had to be one of the pretentious classical songs that he held in high regard but you had never heard of. It definitely helped to soothe you, however

He took a deep breath. “He didn't hurt you, did he?” He asked. His tone was gentle, but you could tell there was an anger behind it.

“Not really.” You said. You felt him tense up, so you elaborated. “I mean, he grabbed my shoulder pretty hard and dug the barrel into my skin, but I'm fine.” You mumbled.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You nodded.

You both sat like that for a moment before you spoke. “I'm sorry for scaring you.”

He looked down at you, puzzled. “That's not your fault.”

You shrugged. “I just feel bad because I know you had to hide it until we were alone.” You said.

He held you a bit tighter. “I'll admit, I was really worried. But it's not your fault at all. You have nothing to apologize for.” He said somewhat sternly.

In his mind, the anxiety he feels is just a manifestation of his love for you and his desire to keep you safe. It wasn't your fault that he was worried, and he didn't mind that he was. It was a good thing in his eyes.

You looked up at him, a slight smirk on your face. “At least we know the chips work.” You said with a giggle.

He smiled. There is nothing like some ill-timed humor to lighten the mood. “Maybe next time, we'll leave product testing up to the manufacturer.” He said. He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead.

You returned to listen to his heartbeat. “Can we just sit here for a second like this?” You still felt a bit nervous and shaky, likely from the adrenaline leaving your system.

He nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need.” He said gently. He rubbed your arm slowly. “What were you doing in the garden today?” He asked. He knew you both could use a distraction right now.

You jumped at the chance to talk to him about it, hoping it changes the topic and mood of the conversation. You told him about what you planted in the new planter and how the weeds around the rhododendron bush were stubborn. You updated him on your recent attempts to hand-feed some of the birds that nested in the area. He chuckled and picked on you for your insistence, but your determination and stubbornness were a bit inspiring, honestly.

When you had stopped talking, you had calmed down significantly. You were no longer shaking, and you felt like you could breathe again. And In-ho had calmed down too, seeing as he was considerably less tense. “Do you want to start on dinner? I'm going to make a call to the control room, and I'll be in to help.” He asked.

You looked up at him, giving a skeptical look. You've heard this one before.

He sighed. “It'll be quick, I promise.” He said.

“Sure…” you said, drawing out the vowel.

He rolled his eyes. “You are insufferable sometimes.” He said without malice.

You gave a look of mock surprise. “Rude.”

You got up to the kitchen while In-ho walked over to the rotary phone on the desk. You tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation, but most of it was just him ordering them to investigate the breach. He also ensured he could be with you the rest of the evening, something that brought a smile to your face. He was down bad, wasn't he?

The evening went smoothly for the two of you. He didn't need to be called into the control room at all.

You both got into bed for the night. You looked over at him. “Thank you.” You said softly.

He looked confused. “For what?” He asked.

“For staying with me tonight.” You murmured. “I know the games are important, and they need you. So this means a lot to me.”

He chuckled softly. “Of course I would. You're important to me too, you know?” He said. You could tell from his tone that he was tired. You pressed a kiss to his lips, and you felt him smile into the kiss.

You pulled away slowly. “I love you.” You mumbled.

“I love you too.” He said. He wrapped an arm around you, and it wasn't long until you were able to drift off.

It also wasn't long until In-ho woke up with a start. He jerked awake, breathing quickly. He jerked his gaze over to find you, making sure you didn't have the gunshot wound he had just watched you get in his nightmare.

He thought he hadn't woken you, but you eventually sat up with a yawn. “Hey, what's going on?” You asked sleepily.

He looked down at you. “Nothing, it's fine.” He said softly.

You caught on to what was happening, but you didn't say anything. You rolled over, resting your head on his chest and wrapping your arm around him. “Love you.” You murmured before dozing back off.

He looked at you and smiled with a lovesick grin. What did he do to deserve you? He thought about it until he drifted off to sleep himself.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

USA vs Europe Fans (Cracky)

Bayverse!Turtles x European!reader

A/N: Based on banter I have with my American friends, hehehehehe. Fun fact, my city’s club is actually in the video provided. Enjoy hehehe💚

Warnings: Football.

“Hell no!”, Raph said, dropping down next to you and the others in the main living area of the lair. “You, our little Euro -”, Raph continued, poking your shoulder as he did. “- seriously expect us to believe that Europe has better sports fans than the US? I think not!”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”, you asked, crossing your arms, narrowing your eyes at the turtle in red.

“Because the US is so patriotic, and Europe is just so, Europe-ie”, Raph said. “We invest more in our sports, okay”.

“And what makes you think that?”, you asked, feeling your blood slowly begin to boil. How dare he.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N)”, Leo said. “It’s not to insult or insinuate anything about your home country or the whole of Europe, but the US does have a thing for their sports”.

“And you seriously don’t think that Europe has a thing for sports either?”, you asked, fighting the urge to snap at him.

“Well”, Mikey chimped in. “We do have the Super Bowl”.

“So?”, you asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Eurovision has more viewers than the Super Bowl”.

“Hey!”, Raph said, almost sounding insulted. “Don’t lie like that!”

“She’s not lying”, Donnie said, looking up from his laptop, where he had just pulled Google up. “The Super Bowl 2024 had 123.7 million viewers, while the Eurovision Song Contest that same year had 163 million viewers”.

“What?!”, Mikey yelled out, running to see Donnie’s screen. “People actually watch that shit?”

“Watch it!”, you called out, pointing at the orange turtle. “That competition had made music that even you guys listen to!”

“Okay, but the US has better sports chants”, Raph said, allowing Mikey to retreat back to his seat.

“High doubt that”, you said. “Nothing beats a good UK chant. If I remember correctly, England played a friendly against the US, where the US fans started chanting “I believe that we will win”, to which the English chanted “what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fucking hell was that?”, until the US decided to stop and not chant the rest of the game”.

“Yeah, “I believe that we will win” is an awful chant”, Leo said, scratching the back of neck.

“Doesn’t matter”, Raph said. “We’re talking about real sports here! Not soccer”.

A loud gasp came from the other’s watching in horror and fear at the scene in front of them. Even Raph seemed to realize his mistake. Never had he called football soccer while you were around. Not once. Well, until today. And already now, he realized how bad of a decision that was, when you suddenly jumped up from your seat, beat red in the face, turning toward Donnie fire in your eyes.

“Donnie! Computer, television, now!”

Without missing a beat, Donnie was quick to connect the computer to the television, before allowing you to type in whatever you were looking for. You wasted no time pulling up a YouTube video titled something along lines of “Football fans and atmospheres. 100.000 Americans vs. 1.000 Europeans”, with a picture of an American football field as one of the first.

“I have a feeling we’re screwed”, Mikey said, bracing himself as you hit play.

(Watch until 01:29)

“What’s wrong with that?”, Raph asked, as you were halfway through the part about the American fans. “People are chanting and having a good time. That’s what sports enjoyment is all about!”

“They are just as dreadful and enthusiastic to look at as an alcoholic drinking water”, you said, clearly still raging, causing Donnie to almost choke on a laugh.

“Excuse me?”, Leo asked, clearly taken aback by your statement. There was no denying that you had some more colorful expressions than what the turtles were used to, but this was a new one.

(Watch until 02:18)

“I’ve heard people cheer louder at the opposing team”, you said, crossing your arms.

“But look, we have cheerleaders”, Mikey said, wiggling his brow muscles. “I’m pretty sure Europe doesn’t have those”.

“We do but we don’t need them”, you retorted. “Cheerleaders are for people that need something other than a game to cheer for”.

“Well, ouch”, Mikey said, shaking his hand as if it had been burned, all while Donnie tried to hide his face in a pillow, hoping he was able to hide his laughter.

(Watch until 03:12)

“Finally”, you said, as the word EUROPA came up on the screen. “Some good stuff”.

“I still don’t see how Europe can beat that”, Raph said. “US has bands, cheerleaders, chants, I mean, how can you top - why are they in a tunnel?”

“Just keep watching”, you said with a small smile, just as the volume warning flashed across the screen, along with police guards along one tunnel wall and the distant sound of chanting.

“Oh, we’re definitely screwed”, Mikey whimpered, just as the words “Actual player entrance tunnel” came up along with more police and loud sounds of explosion like bangs.

(Watch until 05:08)

“Are those flares?”, Leo asked. “Is that even safe?”

“Don’t mind the flares! Look at them jumping!”, Mikey exclaimed.

You turned to Raph with a smug smile, seeing how he was staring at the screen with his mouth open. “Not a real sport huh?”

(Watch until 10:00)

“They look like they’re going to war!”, Mikey exclaimed.

“Well, if it’s a derby, you can very much expect it to turn into a war”, you shrugged.

“Has anybody ever gotten injured?”, Donnie asked.

“Probably”, you answered with another shrug.

(Finish video)

“And that is the kind of sports fans and atmosphere I’m used to”, you said, leaning back with a smug smile.

“I’m going to bed”, Raph said, getting up from the couch, and heading towards his room.

“But it’s the middle of the day!”, Leo called out after him.

“Don’t care! I’m tired”, the red clad turtle said, before disappearing into his room.

“Let him sleep!”, Mikey said, turning his attention towards Donnie and his computer. “I want to watch more European football!”

[shmisky]

Better world ford meet Reverse portal dtanley

Oh, boy, that would be something!

For anyone reading this, you might want to check out this first, or you won’t understand!

Ok, so. Moving on. I think that Better World Ford can be interpreted in two ways: 1) the one in which he’s devastated by the loss of his brother, but still functional and clinging to the morals he does have, and 2) the more dramatic and darker one in which he’s a bit... cray cray, as Mabel would say, driven mad by grief and potentially overprotective and possessive over any Stan he’d happen to find. From my profound fanfic knowledge, I think most people (not just shippers but the fandom in general) would prefer the second option, hahah. I will try to answer what would happen in both of these scenarios!

Let’s think of reverse portal!Stan first. I assume you can only mean a Stan who went through the portal instead of Ford. I’ve talked about this possibility before, here, and to shorten things: I don’t think Ford would ever genuinely value the “greater good” over Stan. He didn’t in Weirdmaggedon, when he was ready to offer the entire universe in exchange for the lives of three people (Stan, Mabel, and Dipper), and he wouldn’t back then, either, when he had much less discipline and control than old man!Ford. But Ford is a complicated little guy, isn’t he. So there are a number of reasons why he could, hypothetically, decide to not rescue Stan. 1) He assumes Stan is dead, 2) he somehow manages to gaslight himself for a while into believing he values the greater good over Stan (only to regret it bitterly, because that isn’t who he is at his core), or 3) someone (Bill or Fiddleford the Cult Leader) purposefully or accidentally messes things up for him.

Personally, I think the first option is the most likely one. Despite his admirable determination, Ford can be a pretty fatalistic, pessimistic man. When Stan lost his memories, he did indeed believe Stan was lost to him completely, and would have continued to think so, if Mabel hadn’t attempted to resurrect the old Stan through her scrapbook. “I’m sorry. Stan is gone,” he told his desperate grandniece.

Not just that, but there’s a very juicy reason (to me) why Ford would believe so: Bill. Bill, who knows exactly how much Stan matters to Ford. Bill, who already tried to hurt Stan to get to Ford once, in TBoB. (And who turned everyone into tapestry in Weirdmaggedon but spared Stan and the kids to use them against Ford! We have a pattern here!) Ford would sink into despair thinking of all the things Bill could have done to his brother before killing him. I think Bill could go and put more wood to the fire by appearing to Ford and making something up on the spot to brag about, about how Stan screamed and begged for mercy and died thinking Ford hated him. Ford would then assume Stan was really and truly dead, because if he were alive, then surely Bill would make an attempt to blackmail him, to convince Ford to fix the portal to get his twin back. The fact Bill isn’t doing that is proof enough. The possibility that Stan just managed to escape Bill and is still evading capture wouldn’t even cross his mind.

But while this Ford would be utterly devastated with the burden of having killed his brother, Portal!Stan would not know this. No, he would assume Ford decided it wasn’t worth it, to fix the portal and get him back. That he wasn’t worth it to Ford. He could easily be led to think that his relationship with Ford was now wrecked beyond repair. He’d feel like something he never noticed he still had (hope that Ford loved him deep down) was being taken away from him.

Most people, when they think of Portal!Stan think of... well, our canon Portal!Ford, but make it Stan instead. Same thing! But—I’m realizing only as I’m writing this—I don’t think Portal!Stan would be exactly the same thing as Portal!Ford. Ford is, surprisingly, more hardcore in his violence than Stan! There are many moments in the show that highlight this, but I’ll try to be somewhat brief.

Think about it: both of the Stans had their years running from the law. Stan was banned from US states, while Ford managed to make himself an outlaw in many dimensions. A state is inside a country that is inside a continent that is inside a planet that is inside a solar system that is inside a galaxy that is inside an universe that is inside a dimension, and somehow Ford want us to believe he was “just as wanted” as Stanley! Uh huh! Ford managed, somehow, to be known across the multiverse as “armed and dangerous,” even in his younger days, while he still had brown hair (which is what his Wanted poster in J3 says in code, btw!) The aliens were afraid of our guy! Mullet!Stan meanwhile, homeless and presumably struggling to survive just as Ford was, didn’t seem to have a similar (in)fame. We can see his own Wanted poster in his box of memorabilia in Not What He Seems, but they merely list his conman-typical crimes. Don’t get me wrong, he would end up very different from our canon Stan nonetheless. I think he would be just as hard to catch as Ford (Bill would be after him as well, for sure), and perhaps even develop a sense of revenge against Bill for hurting his brother if he put two and two together and Bill appeared in his dreams to brag. He just wouldn’t have the same vibes, imo, and would perhaps rely on different skills, such as his silver tongue and ability for lying and understanding people, instead of making himself known interdimensionally as a dangerous threat like Ford. Bill would repeatedly warn bounty hunters about not underestimating him, but somehow they always would, and Stan would always escape.

Now, now. Finally, let’s talk about Better World!Ford! I said there are two versions of him you could imagine, the more reasonable one and the cray cray one, but no matter the version, he’d be mourning his Stan deeply, like half of himself had died.

Let’s assign some names for them so we don’t get lost, first 😭

BW!Ford = Better World!Ford

BW!Stan = Better World!Stan

RP!Stan = Reverse Portal!Stan

RP!Ford = Reverse Portal!Ford

Moving on again.

I picture RP!Stan visiting the Better World dimension for some reason and BW!Ford immediately wanting him to fill the emptiness caused by BW!Stan’s death. I can’t see BW!Ford not being overprotective of RP!Stan, considering he’d be 1) traumatized about losing BW!Stan and 2) terrified of what Bill could do to RP!Stan. Because again, Bill knows how much any Ford, of any dimension, loves his Stan. Bill could try and use Stan to hurt him! (Which would be, in fact, exactly what Bill was trying and failing to do for so many years, hahah.)

RP!Stan would be shocked by BW!Ford’s transparent and overwhelming love for him. Didn’t every Ford Pines despise Stan Pines? Perhaps BW!Ford was faking his love! Perhaps BW!Ford was just completely different from RP!Ford!

But if so, where’s BW!Ford’s own Stan? What happened differently? Something terrible, perhaps? Did BW!Stan have to die or something for BW!Ford to start caring? But then again, RP!Ford (apparently) had left RP!Stan to die after pushing him through the portal, so perhaps an average Ford wouldn’t even care about an average Stan’s death... (I’m sorry if this is getting too confusing! 😭)

(RP!Stan also considers the possibility that BW!Stan was just a much better brother than him, but that hurts too much. BW!Ford wisely doesn’t tell him about the fact BW!Stan had obeyed his order to take away the journal.)

Let’s suppose that RP!Stan then makes the mistake of telling BW!Ford about RP!Ford, who (apparently) hadn’t bothered to fix the portal to get RP!Stan back. I think BW!Ford would realize what actually had happened, and then he would have a decision to make: to tell RP!Stan the truth or not. If he did, perhaps RP!Stan would then embark in a journey back to the arms of his RP!Ford. If he didn’t...

Here I think it depends on how you interpret Ford (and his morals) to be. I think his morals are pretty loose, but nonetheless he can be pretty noble and self-sacrificing and prone to profound, if sometimes repressed, guilt. He could still feel empathy towards his other self, knowing intimately the utter pain of living while blaming himself for Stan’s death. If he decides to be the good, selfless guy, then happy ending for RP!Ford, unhappy ending for him.

Could he believably decide to lie to RP!Stan and say that yeah, his own Ford didn’t care for him? Yes, imo, with the right rationalizion. As Alex mentioned before, Rob Renzetti (coauthor of Journal 3 and his Ford expert) made him understand a fundamental truth about Stanford Pines: that he can do anything as long as he manages to justify it to himself, because one of his greatest powers is rationalizing. I think even a Ford with canon Ford’s morals could justify lying to RP!Stan if he managed to successfully convince himself that what he was doing wasn’t against Stan, but against the other Ford. Ford on Ford violence, if you will. He can be very self-loathing and very hypocritical at the same time, so if he somehow twisted the narrative inside his head so as to paint RP!Ford as the villain who deserved to lose his Stan and himself as the one who will take better care of RP!Stan... Especially considering Bill, and the fact he could consider it unsafe for RP!Stan to leave the BW dimension at all...

And if you want to go a touch darker—now I believe we’re approaching a darker!Ford territory; that is, I don’t believe canon Ford would be capable of bringing himself to do this, but his BW version has been twisted by grief—he could ensure RP!Stan never leaves him quite easily, through many different means, including Fiddleford’s memory gun. That would mean a definitive unhappy ending for poor RP!Ford, forever without his Stan 😔

[littybittys]

On one hand (spitballing Caterina’s thoughts on my female Crow Rook):

- Caterina was less than pleased to see Lucanis turn to Rook for advice at the Ilario decision. Her prize grandson…asking someone else for advice…and that someone being the person she sent to rescue him…but Rook is now his potential lover…and he’s going to disappear off with her again where they’ll have the opportunity to continue growing closer…and he clearly values Rook’s input and is looking at her like that? Concerning at the very least.

- This Rook is also the upstart Crow who caused that massive headache with the Antaam not too long ago, displaying a clear disregard for authority, and is from a lesser house. Not just a lesser house but the house of one of the kings royal bastards…is Viago trying to make a move? Did he tell Rook to get close to Lucanis on purpose? Is Viago trying to “reach above his station”? He’s never given any sign of this before but maybe he was waiting for the perfect time. Lucanis should be warned…

- OR did Rook come up with this on her own? Is she trying to restore her standing in the Crows using Caterina’s favorite as a shield and a leg up? Lucanis should be warned of this possibility as well…

- Caterina has never know this grandson to be with someone before. That was always Ilario’s business. Lucanis has always been so dedicated to the job, so serious, nothing less than perfection…and if Caterina did picture Lucanis with someone, it was always someone she had picked for him, someone to help carry on House Dellamorte’s bloodline. Love had nothing to do with it. So what about this Rook has Lucanis so under her spell? (Because let’s be real, Caterina would never be the *claps hands* they’re in love! type. Dragon Age Mafia Boss Abuela Madrigal is staring down the barrel of a Rook shaped gun and she isn’t liking what she’s seeing so far).

- distrust, suspicion, something something Rook could be hard to control, something something Caterina is possessive of Lucanis and probably a MIL (or GIL) from hell, etc, etc

On the OTHER hand:

- Rook has become a very valuable piece in a short amount of time. Not only has she been out trying to save the world but she’s also been helping to successfully spearhead the resistance against the Antaam in Treviso and has been the “boots on the ground”. This hasn’t gone unnoticed, especially among the other Talons, even the ones who were previously calling for her head. And now after Ilario’s grand fuck up, Rook has also shown that she has the new First Talon’s ear (and possibly his heart). Some of the other Talons are going to jump on this for their own gain, offer their own alliances to House de Riva, and Caterina will be damned if she lets House Dellamorte be slow on the uptake.

- Caterina hasn’t gotten this far by being unobservant. She sees the way Lucanis looks at Rook and how Rook looks at Lucanis. Whenever power is exchanged there is always room for insurrection, especially among the Crows. Lucanis is going to be facing all that it means to be First Talon - it wouldn’t hurt to have someone fierce and loyal at his back. Someone to make others think twice about striking. A fellow God Killer (who, by extension, brings Houses de Riva and Cantori with her. 3 Houses united versus 1 standing alone isn’t a raw deal…)

- Neither Lucanis or Ilario have any children at this point (at least, Caterina hasn’t seen the fruits of Ilario’s affairs come to light yet but even if they did they would still be illegitimate and there’s always the possibility they’d challenge Lucanis or create trouble for House Dellamorte in general). That means once Lucanis and Ilario are dead and gone, the bloodline is also gone. Rook could offer a solution there and further tie her to House Dellamorte if questions of loyalty ever arose between her old House and new. The Dellamorte bloodline could live on…

- Lucanis is, for better or worse, an abomination. Caterina is ignoring this unwanted piece of information the best she can but the cat is out of the bag now. She may not know the full extent of this…condition, but she does know it will be bad news for Lucanis to seem out of control or compromised in any way. Rook seems familiar with her grandson’s…condition. Rook could help shelter him from prying eyes. Rook can be useful for keeping Lucanis alive and protected. Rook would keep his secrets…

I’ve run out of spitballing but yeah, I don’t think Caterina would ever like Rook in general. Tolerate? Yes. Enough to hold her tongue about Rook around Lucanis because not being dumb she sees how deeply he cares for Rook? Perhaps. But like Rook the way she apparently likes Teia? Ehhhhhhh no.

But I do think she would see the usefulness Rook has and she’d be smart enough to know that usefulness is better in the hands of House Dellamorte than another House. (Also cue surprised Pikachu face if she does try to dissuade Lucanis from Rook and Lucanis, for the first time ever with Caterina, puts his foot down and in no uncertain terms tells her Rook is staying. Oh boy).

Hey, I get why some people want Lucanis and Rook to have an easy time after the game's events, however Lucanis' life is, fundamentally, a telenovela.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is: tag all the reasons Caterina Dellamorte doesn't like your Rook and would disapprove of their relationship.

[ilysungho]

hii idk how you feel about voyeurism but…

who do you think would be most into voyeurism??? bc i keep having this thought about jaehyun fucking you so good but then he suddenly gets a call from sungho, who’s in the middle of a live, and you’re begging him to not pick up because you just know you won’t be able to keep quiet, but he still does AND THEN sungho’s like “hey you’re on speakerphone say hello to onedoor” and jaehyun speaks in such a casual tone, like he’s not fucking you into absolute oblivion and he’s like “hi onedoorrrr” and then he whispers into your ear “you can keep quiet for me like a good girl, right?” and you’re trying sooo hard to be quiet but jaehyun’s dicking you down too good AND SUNGHO CAN FUCKING HEAR IT TOO. poor boy is trying so hard to act like there isn’t a growing tent in his pants and although he wants to stay on the call, he hangs up asap bc they are NAWT about to get caught up in a scandal 😭

BIG FAN OF VOYEURISM SO THIS IS A BIG YES FOR ME!!! anon… my jaw DROPPED when i read this like ohmygod? YOU’RE INSANE FOR COMING UP WITH THIS I MIGHT HAVE TO BE HELD BACK FROM KISSING YOU

i have two scenarios in mind for this! one is jaehyun x sungho x reader where you guys are in a poly relationship. jaehyun would love having you to himself, but the three of you together would be what's the best choice always. so naturally, when there's a call coming from yeppi, he picks up. now, if sungho wasn't on live, jaehyun would've encouraged you to be loud for the both of them, so you could also help out sungho through the phone. but since he couldn't he had no choice but to tell you to be quiet. thankfully sungho can sense what's up through just the change in jaehyun's usually cheerful voice while greeting fans. he could tell that the two of you were busy with each other, and just the thought had him going while he picked up the sounds of your wetness and skin slapping rather loudly. he quickly ended the call though, but he wouldn't be able to bear not being present and take care of his boner through your already leaking pussy, thanks to jaehyun.

the other situation i thought of was rival fwb sungho and jaehyun who take any moment they can to have a bigger claim on you than the other. they're good friends to the point they wouldn't mind sharing the same girl, but they still want to the better out of the two. jaehyun would be so mean about it when he picks up the call, texting sungho about how good your pussy feels, too bad he's busy with work at the moment. he'd send pics and vids of how well you are taking his whole length just to taunt his friend on the other end who can't do anything about his growing boner. sungho's irritation from jaehyun's actions would even become evident in his voice as he tries to continue singing the songs onedoor are requesting for him to, eventually ending the stream in order to practice, when in actuality he was going to have to quickly rub one out before his next schedule.

[balkanradfem]

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a park, and two young women approached me with a prompt. They could have been 16 to 19 years old, they looked young, and foreign, but could speak croatian pretty well. They told me they were holding an event where they prompted people to write down what made them happy. I thought that was nice and harmless, and I accepted to go and write things up on the board. People wrote down things like 'family, friends, love, food' and I added things like 'forest, mountains, sunlight, flowers, garden'. In return they gave me a piece of candy! I love taking candy from strangers so I was pleased.

Today, they approached me again, I was sitting in the same park. They recognized me from the event, and wanted to speak to me again. Both of them were holding the same book in their hands, and I tilted my head to read the title. 'Book of Mormon' it said. My expression changed from a smile to panic, because I hadn't up until that point realized, that they were missionaries. I'd never seen a mormon missionary in this area before. They asked me for my name, and I politely said I would prefer not to share personal information, and that I wasn't interested, and then I kept avoiding eye contact, until they went up to a different person. I felt awkward at first, but then figured there was no better way to handle it anyway, and went home worried. They were such nice and good girls. They approached me so gently and cautiously and never made me uncomfortable for a second, it was only the knowledge of their cause that made me freeze up.

I've been watching Alyssa Grenfell's videos to the point where I understood that these almost-children were on their mission. They were stuck for more than a year separated from their families and homes, and they can't go back until they complete the mission. Before this, they spent months or a year in a facility specifically to learn croatian so they could convert people in this area. They probably lived in someone's house and had a tiny budget of they were allowed to spend on food and necessities. They looked so thin and underfed in the park. They would continue to spend a year of their life trying to convert people to mormonism, because the mormon church could claim 10% of the income of their converts, making it even more rich. And the girls were doing it for free, exposing themselves to danger, isolation, loneliness, and fruitless effort of working 16 hours a day only to maybe get a few converts in a course of a year.

I feel so bad for them! And there's nothing I can do because it's integrated in their culture, their families will expect them to do this, and afterwards they'll be expected to marry as soon as possible. Mormon church integrated the mission of 'making the mormon church richer' into a cultural event that people held as an important part of their life, something to prove themselves over, something that should be an honour for them to do. I'm heartbroken about it, now that I've seen the girls up close. They really are so young, I think they had to be 19 to be allowed to go on a mission, but they looked 16. And croatia is dangerous for young girls, there are so many pedophiles, so many predators. I can only hope they return home safe.

[wrtzia]

I do - JJ Maybank

Insecure!reader x bsf!JJ Maybank

In which Reader is insecure about her body and best friend!JJ comforts her.

Warning ; mention of insecurity, fluff, I think that's all !

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You never were the skinny type, but you couldn’t call yourself ‘fat’ either. Your belly was honored by a bump, bump that you always hated. For some reason, you always loved everyone’s body, thin or not, but when it was yours, you couldn’t manage to.

Perhaps it was the fact you were living on an island, where you were spending your days at the beach with everyone’s body in sight. Maybe it was the fact that all your friends were skinnier than you, the way no boys seem to have interest in you, only having eyes for Sarah Cameron. 

You were standing in the bathroom in the Chateau, your eyes not being able to leave your belly bump on the mirror. You were wearing a navy bikini since you and the Pogues planned to go surf, but your feet wouldn’t leave their current place. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the blonde who walked in. 

“Something’s on your mind ?” The voice startled you, almost making you jump out of your skin. “Don’t scare me like that.” 

You turned to him, a pout on your lips as you looked at the smirk on his. His eyes fell on your belly and his smirk vanished at the way your hands were covering it, like trying to hide it. “Does your belly hurt?”

Your eyes followed his, confused as to what he meant. Hiding your belly became a reflex those last months to the point you didn’t realize it as you hesitantly put your arms back at your side. The action didn’t go unnoticed by JJ, who was quick to react. “Hey, no need to hide that.”

You met eyes, all of a sudden turning vulnerable. You always felt safe in his presence, like you didn’t need to be someone else. Being really close to someone and trusting him with all your heart didn’t make it easier to talk about what you were feeling, always thinking you didn’t deserve to complain as you saw fatter people. Complaining about your not-fat-but-not-skinny belly made you feel like you were insulting every other belly, who were dreaming to have yours.

“Talk to me. I know I’m shitty to comfort people but I can..Hug ya?” the boy made an awkward move with his arms, as if pretending to hug the air before continuing, “Look, I can listen.” 

You giggle at his arms movement before slowly sitting on the toilet lid, “It’s just a silly girl problem.” JJ shook his head almost immediately as he settled beside you, him going on the floor. “None of that bullshit with me.”

Thoughts ran in your head, not sure how to start with them. “It’s just..Hard to explain. You're gonna laugh at me.” JJ raised an eyebrow, looking at her with a smirk back on his face, “probably” Your hand found his shoulder, slapping it, causing a giggle to come out of JJ. “Kidding.” 

You let out a sigh, your fingers starting to play with your bracelets. “I’ve just been..feeling a bit insecure, that’s nothing.” Those words caused JJ to laugh, making your head turn to look at him, dumbfounded at his reaction. “..Okay, thank you..” The blondie shook his head, “I’m laughing because how could such a pretty girl feel insecure ? What are you even insecure about ?”

You stared at him before rolling her eyes. “As if you didn’t notice. I’m fat. I mean, not fat but not skinny. ..Fatnny..?” Once again, JJ let out a laugh. It wasn’t in a mocking way, but the created word coming from you sounds ridiculous in the boy’s mind. The fact you could think of yourself as ‘fat’, ‘ugly’ or any negatif thing, seems crazy to him. 

The teenager tilted his head and stared at you, thinking of what to say. He knew what he was thinking ; you were the prettiest girl in his eyes. How to say it was different. He wanted to make you feel better about yourself. It was his job as your best friend. He let out a sigh and decided to just burst it out.

“Look, having a tiny bump, barely noticeable by the way, doesn’t make you any less than any other girl. If anything, not having the same exact body as anyone else makes you unique and hotter.” There was a small pause, thinking deeply about what to say next. “If anything, it makes more of you. More of an amazing person. More hot things. And I love hot things.”

You put your head in your hands, contemplating what he said. You couldn’t see it that way, probably never would. There was still so much uncertainty that lingered in your mind, some that words couldn’t fix. “..Boys never look at me..”

You couldn’t see him, but you could sense the shake of his head, “I do.” You look at him, eyes widened with confusion. Maybe you misheard him, that your brain created what you wanted to hear. “I’m just sayin’, you’re hot. Don’t think badly of yourself.” The words barely left JJ’s mouth that you were already shaking, feeling the tears coming. Without thinking you went in his arms and his hand found his way into your hair, holding you tight.

A few words wouldn’t make you start liking yourself, but that wouldn’t stop your brain from thinking. A little bump, barely noticeable. Your eyes closed as you relaxed, feeling better. You were young and had time for your body to change, for you to have confidence in yourself, in your body. And with JJ now knowing, that means you no longer have to keep everything to yourself. 

With JJ by your side, you didn’t have to worry about your body image. A question stayed in your mind though ; what did he mean when he said ‘I do’ ? 

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Let me know your thoughts on that one, and please mention any spelling mistakes !

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[daisysbike]

17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 5:17-20

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

John 3:16-21

What then? Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, 10 as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one; 11     no one understands;     no one seeks for God. 12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;     no one does good,     not even one.” 13 “Their throat is an open grave;     they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.” 14     “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.” 15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood; 16     in their paths are ruin and misery, 17 and the way of peace they have not known.” 18     “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Romans 3:9-18

...for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise.

Galatians 3:26-28 (emphasis mine)

God distinguishes mankind based not on race, sex, or earthly station, but on whether or not we have accepted the gift of grace which is Jesus Christ. Read John 8 (specifically 38-47), and see that the pharisees were called children of the devil because of their rejection of Christ. That is where we all start, dead in our trespasses. But God came to the world to save us from ourselves. Yes, the Jewish people have done bad things. That does not make us any better. If you think that you are better than someone because of something you think is important (like race/ethnicity), then check again friend. Isaiah 64:6 likens our "righteous" deeds to filthy rags. I promise that you can't even live up to your own standards, let alone God's. What do we deserve then? Hell. We deserve, I deserve, eternal separation from a God who we rejected in continuing in sin and looking to ourselves as our savior.

But Christ came, and He fulfilled the Law, which was God's standards! He suffered and died on a cross in a humiliating death at the hands of His creation. He took the wrath that was set against up for violating the commands of a thrice holy God. And He did not stay dead. He rose on the third day, conquering the power of death (which is the separation from God) forever. When you put your trust in Christ and repent of your sins, you will be granted eternal life with the God who loves you.

So when you are blatantly showing the sin of pride by comparing yourself with your neighbor and declaring him unrighteous (because deep down you think you are righteous), seriously consider the transgression against God you are making.

*Side note! Matthew 21:43 was taken wholly out of context. Jesus was talking to and about the pharisees (i.e. religious hypocrites) who were adding to God's law, and thus making a man-made religion. In the parable before (Matt 21:23-27) he makes this very clear. The following parable (vs. 28-46) begins with the words "Here another parable," which implies that the two parables are working together to emphasize the point further. A Bible verse taken out of context is a pretext for a proof text, so always check the surrounding verses to make sure the person is telling soundly exegeting.

I confronted a fellow Christian for being openly antisemitic and they proceeded to use the Bible, ya know, the book full of Jews, to justify antisemitism. It was surreal.

[jalluzas-ferney]

NINJAGO AU ALERRRTTTT

AU where Nya escaped Garmadon on her own (don’t ask me how I still have to think about it) and eventually ends up being found my ronin and gets taken in by him, basically becoming his adopted daughter. With him she basically trains to become a thief, and practically turns into a more traditional ninja, since ninja are tradionally known for being thieves, spies and assassins.

(More info under image)

Difference is they do it in a more robin hood kind of way, where they usually steal either from the wealthy or bad people to then sell the items or just keep them for themselves. They also have a mechanic shop, kinda like a cover up, where Ronins wife, Melis, mostly worked at. And now with Nyas help she has even more hands to help and further their business! Ronin does still scam people, at least from time to time, even though Nya doesn’t really approve of it, but does it less and less as Nya continues being part of his family. (If you’re wondering if Melis approves of it, she doesn’t really care lmao. She wouldn’t do it herself but she’s not against it.)

And ah yes! Ronins family! Remember how ronin mentioned that he has a wife and a daughter? Well while I didn’t draw ronins wife I did draw Nya bonding with Ronins daughter, aka Nyas now adopted younger sibling. Her name is Amparo but they usually call her Pachi. She’s a very sweet and outgoing girl. Loves talking to small talk with anyone and adores watching Nya fix cars and even ronins helicopter. (By the time Nya meets her she’s 9 years old.) obviously they grow really close to each other and Nya loves her to DEATH (and vice versa).

since she goes on missions to steal things, Nya travels pretty often, so she visits many smaller villages or even larger cities. Because of this, I like to thinks she’s come across many characters we know, like Chamille, Dr Saunders ( :0 ), griffin turner, Dareth, Twitchy Tim, and he’ll even Ed and Edna. Who yes, after seeing Nya do mention her to Jay once he comes visit, but they can’t remember he name, probably accidentally messing it up in the process and calling her something else like “Mia”, so Jay doesn’t rreally make a connection between her and Kai’s missing sister he can’t stop grieving for, Nya.

Which OH YEAH. LETS ADRESE THE ELEFANT IN THE ROOM. KAI. and the ninja. You see, after Nya escaped, of course she made a grueling journey back home where she was expecting to find Kai at four weapons, but upon seeing that he wasn’t there, and everyone at the village had previously believed Garmadon and the skulkin had taken them both in the midst of the chaos, which clearly wasn’t the case which basically just pronounced Kai as missing. Because of this, Nya grieves her brother but also lived with the hope that he is still out there somewhere. She really misses him and her (other) family knows, providing her love and support whenever she’s feeling especially down because of Kai’s disappearance. Although she tries her best to hide her grief from Pachi, and even sometimes copes by telling Pachi funny stories about Kai and her childhood. Choosing to think about the happy moments and make Pachi laugh with them rather than cry about the. Of course, whenever she’s traveling she makes sure to ask almost every person in the places she visits if they’ve seen her brother.

I’d also like to clarify that the ninja in this au hide their identity. So while the ninja are well known for being heroes, no one knows who they are under their masks, due to master wu believing it’s better for their safety, which it pretty much is. This is how Nya basically DOES know the ninja and really admires them, although she’s only ever seen pictures or heard countless of stories about them. She dreams about meeting the elemental masters and seeing them fight and use their powers up close. Of course she does eventually! By the time season 5 aka possession rolls around…..TO BE CONTINUED BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THEIR MEETING BETTER

feel free to ask me any questions ab the au in my ask box!

[glowstickblood]

Sure I'll bite, what are your thoughts on Nightwing?

HOLY F U C K

You do not know what you have just done <3

So first of all, I was a teen titans kid: specifically StarFire. She was my home girl, she was an alien existence with strange customs and unique way of speaking and she was sweet and had trouble understanding others and I was obsessed. And…. She likes Robin, aka Dick Grayson, the OG.

Back then, Robin was cool but he wasn’t my favourite, but it was the first time I can really recall him catching my attention,, mostly because he had Kori’s attention and I loved Kori.

Honestly I didn’t really get into DC much. I was a Marvel prefereer for a while (<- lies, I just liked spider-man like literally everyone else) and though I had heard of the batfamily before in passing (an animation YouTuber I liked did some stuff for them once or twice) they didn’t mean much to me.

For me it was Batman and Robin,,,, and Robin was Dick Grayson.

I don’t really remember how it happened, but I do recall somewhere 2ish years ago that something prompted me to go searching for Nightwing’s Wikipedia page.

Now those of you NDs know what happens when something catches your attention in that oh-so-very-peak way and you enter what I like to call Stage 7.

I, no joke, read every single wiki article and post I could find anout Dick Grayson for 24 hours straight. I didn’t sleep, I barely ate, and I don’t remember anything other than the endless hunger for knowledge until I inevitably collapsed.

So,,, why?

Well honestly it’s rather complex!

I don’t talk too much about myself online, mostly because I don’t feel much of a need to, but I’m sure you can glean a few things: mostly that I’m a 1st gen immigrant with autism, asexuality and a enby identity (just like half the population on tumblr lmao) and that gave/gives me a whole cocktail of fun issues and perspectives of the world.

I’m not sure how much you know about Dick’s story or personality, but simplifying it down to a single sentence it would probably be this: An endlessly angry child has forged himself into a kind and charismatic hero for the sake of other people.

He is angry, and bitter and fighting so goddamn hard to be kind. He is overtly sexualised by people in-universe and in-fandom. He gives away all of himself even if he doesn’t realise he does. He is on a never ending journey to meet, match, and exceed the expectations placed upon him even to the detriment of himself and others. The bar grows ever higher.

People have an unconsciously bad habit of comparing ourselves to others and it is generally agreed upon that to live a healthy life you will have to spend the entire time fighting against that habit. The fight never ends as we never stop interacting with each other, but it does get easier with time. This pinprick point of tension is a core element of a lot of the stories told when it comes to Nightwing interacting with other characters, and a running theme throughout my own life.

For a very long time I competed against the world, against my family, against my friends, against the characters in stories I was told, basically everyone. I was the underdog, I was always fighting, and soon enough I was winning just as much as I was loosing. It was fun and it made me miserable because no matter how well I did the was always another person was better. I was never the best, I couldn’t be, and I hated myself for it… Until I realised the standards I held myself too so loudly and proudly started making my friends miserable too.

(To be honest I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop trying to raise the bar for myself higher, but I sure as hell know better than to make that other people’s problems. It’s an ongoing WIP against a very human flaw in myself, just as it is for Dick.)

Another element of his character that appeals to me is the anger; specifically that he is not seen as angry much anymore.

As a character his anger is justified. It is righteous even. The world took from him, hurt him, and continues to challenge him even now. He has every single reason to be bitter and full of rage,,, and he is! Except also no he isn’t.

The general current interpretation of Dick is as a playful and kind older brother figure.

He is flawed sure, but in a way that makes him more ‘approachable’. He is the comforting Robin; He’s the one you’d go to after a breakup to cry and eat ice cream or to go gush about your favourite hobbies to. He is the mediator of the batfamily, managing the emotions of both himself and others (especially Batman). The endless bright burning rage has been buried beneath a soft exterior, he has sanded down his own edges. He controls and seems to give away just enough to make him feel grounded, but never enough to feel like he’s truly known.

One of the worst part about growing older for me is how terribly easy it is to understand other people now. Rarely do the people who hurt us the worst want to do so, the villains of this world are seldom (if ever) people you meet in real life. It’s so fucking easy to hurt each other. It’s so fucking easy to blame people when they hurt you. To make monsters out of molehills.

And yet!

And yet…

I understand. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I am so very very angry, but my kindness is a thing with teeth I tamed with love, and it eats my anger for breakfast.

The way I love and he loves, in my mind, is the same. I understand and he understands in a way I want too, and it’s so easy to let people hurt us because of that. Depending on the version you’re reading of him, maybe that person who hurts him is a super villain, or a friend, or an obliviously obtuse civilian or even the batfamily and Batman himself (Spyral, WFA Joker arc, Grant Wilson, Tarantula, being Batman during the Bruce lost time-stream arc, all of Jason’s existence, etc.). Either way, same outcome: you love and care for people who hurt you and are flawed.

Nevertheless, Dick Grayson, aka Robin, aka Nightwing, has been around for more than 80 years now. His story has been told hundreds, thousands, millions of times. It’s been twisted and shifted and re-told all over again. And while his tenants core stays the same (save for a bad writer of course) he gets different lighting for every occasion. Playing and talking about him is more flexible in a way a lot of characters with a single cannon source (I.e. books and movies) are not. His existence gives me a lot of room to play and project.

He can be the good big brother, the proud leader, the angry teenager, the betrayed son, the beautiful idol, the grand hero, or any mask the story requires him to play. That flexibility is within the core of his very character. He loves, he is angry, he is so terribly inhuman in all the best ways he is not, and I love him because of that.

TLDR: He is relatable to me and I fuck with that <3

[illuminatedquill]

Story Summary: After Kanan's death, Ezra enlists Chopper’s help in recording a special message for Sabine.

[RECORDING START]

[QUERY: ANNOYED: ARE YOU READY?]

. . . Yeah, I think so. Wait. How do I look? Do I have any marks on me? I should use the refresher, I think -

[RESPONSE: SARCASTIC: MY BATTERY WILL RUN OUT OF CHARGE BEFORE WE START, IDIOT.]

Hilarious, Chop. I know for a fact that Hera installed you with those new ZXL-90 batteries. The ones that store a charge through kinetic movement, right? I bet you can keep complaining for the rest of our lives without needing a recharge since you love running that motor mouth of yours.

[RESPONSE: SERIOUS: YOU ARE STALLING.]

[OBSERVATION: SUBJECT-6, ANXIETY RIDDEN. EYES DOWNCAST, FINGERS FIDGETING THROUGH HAIR]

Okay, yeah. I am. I don't really know what to say here. So much has happened - and there's so much more to come.

(pause)

Kanan would know what to say. What to do. He wouldn't be scared - well, no, he would be. But he wouldn't let it get the better of him.

[NOTE: SUBJECT-6 MIMICS SUBJECT-1'S (DECEASED) MODE OF SPEECH HERE]

'It's not being above the fear, kid. It's about not letting it be in the pilot's seat.'

. . . I miss him so much, Chopper. It hasn't been long since . . . well. Do you miss him, too?

[RESPONSE: GENTLE: HE IS NOT GONE FOR ME. I HAVE A RECORD OF EVERY CONVERSATION AND INTERACTION WE HAD STORED IN MY MEMORY BANK.]

That must be nice. I can't even remember the last conversation we had.

[STATEMENT: SINCERE: IF YOU EVER WISH TO, I CAN REPLAY SOME OF MY MEMORIES OF HIM FOR YOU.]

Oh, that's . . . that's really sweet of you, Chopper. I'll have to take you up on that offer some day. But I think Hera needs you more than I do. Especially in the days to come.

[QUERY: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?]

[OBSERVATION: CONCERNED: SUBJECT-6 IS SMILING, BUT THERE IS A NOTE OF UNKNOWN EMOTION - MELANCHOLY(?) - PRESENT]

It's not important at the moment. Are you recording?

[RESPONSE: YES.]

Okay. Here goes -

(deep breath)

Hey, Sabine. If you're seeing this, then my plan worked and . . . well, I'm probably not there anymore. I might be dead, in fact.

(winces)

Edit that out. Actually, stop recording for a moment.

[COMPLAINT: WE JUST STARTED.]

Just stop, please. I need to gather my notes.

[RESPONSE: SURLY: AS YOU WISH.] [NOTATION: RECORDING CONTINUING UN-PAUSED; SUBJECT-6 IN CLEAR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WILL KEEP ON FILE FOR LATER FOR REVIEW WITH SUBJECT-5.]

(indistinct muttering)

How do I say this . . . how.

'Hey, Sabine. Sorry for disappearing on you and, by the way, I have a small favor to ask: can you protect Lothal while I'm gone? And maybe can you come find me, even though I don't know where I'm going?' Sure, yeah. She'll be super fine about all of that, Ezra. No big deal.

(more unintelligible muttering)

I can't say that. No way. It's too much. This was a mistake; I don't want to do any of this!

[QUERY: CONCERNED: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?]

Everyone's looking to me now, Chopper. Everyone. Because Kanan's gone. I still had so much to learn from him - look at me, I'm not ready for this! I've been living in this safe little bubble with everyone from the Ghost and now that bubble is gone! Governor Pryce killed Kanan and now I'm all that's left.

(heavy breathing)

He changed things with his - his passing. Kanan did. I don't know how, but the Force is telling me, whispering to me that the time is coming soon. Lothal's fate rests with me now, I can feel it and I - and I don't feel worthy of it. I cannot bear it. It's too heavy.

(bitter laughter)

The boy savior. Do you know how long I have dreamed of freeing my home from the Empire? And now that moment has come and I'm too scared. I've never felt more like some just dumb street-rat than at this precise moment. Kanan picked the wrong kid to train - OW!

[NOTATION: PHYSICAL VIOLENCE (ELECTRIC PROBE) WAS USED TO CORRECT SUBJECT-6'S MISTAKEN STATEMENTS. PROVED SUCCESSFUL.]

Ow - what are you - ouch, that hurts!

Stop that! Chopper!

[STATEMENT: TERSE: I WILL STOP WHEN YOU CEASE YOUR STUPIDITY.]

Alright, alright! I'll stop.

[RESPONSE: GRUMPY: GOOD.]

I think you enjoyed that a little.

[STATEMENT: CHEERFUL: OF COURSE NOT. I ENJOYED THAT A LOT.]

(snorts) I figured.

. . . I'm a mess, aren't I.

[STATEMENT: POINTED: MORE SO THAN USUAL, YES.]

Yeah. Oh, if Kanan could see me now.

(pause)

Okay. Okay. I need to do this. Let me read my notes again, so I can get this right -

[STATEMENT: INTERJECTION: IGNORE THE NOTES. SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.]

I'll get it wrong, Chopper, I have so much to say to Sabine. I have to get it right. For her.

[STATEMENT: REASSURING: SHE WILL UNDERSTAND. DO NOT LET YOUR HEAD CONFUSE YOUR HEART. THAT IS WHAT SHE WILL HEAR IN WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY.]

No. Absolutely not. I have the notes for a reason, Chop. How am I supposed to convey to her - my best friend, my partner, my - my -

(pause)

Look, she's - she's everything to me. Like how Hera was to Kanan, do you understand? I can't imagine my life without her. These past five years have passed so quickly, but every day spent by Sabine's side it was - it was magical. Five years is - what? - around 1800 days, if you're counting it in regular standard time. Most of those days were spent with her and everyone else on the Ghost. Best days of my life.

I'm not even a full adult yet in terms of physical years but . . . I guess you could call that period of time my 'good old days'. Heh.

The Force is this cosmic phenomenon that I can tap into, mysterious and unknowable, but her? As a Jedi I shouldn't be saying this, but I believe in her more than I do the Force. She's the only one I can trust with . . . everything.

[QUERY: CURIOUS: WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MESSAGE?]

. . . To say good-bye, I guess. And hello. If that makes sense.

Sabine, given her personal history, will be hurt the most from my absence. I know that for sure. I want her to know that - that I tried. I really did, to find any other way. But this is how it has to be.

A message like this is real. She can see me. Hear me. I'd write a letter too, but I don't think there's enough paper on hand to fully encapsulate how I feel about her.

So, I have to do this instead. Make a message, just for her. I do not want her wondering . . . about us. Where she stands with me.

(sighs)

Open secret that I had a huge crush on her when I first came aboard. She ignored that, thankfully.

[QUERY: SURPRISE: YOU HAD A CRUSH ON SABINE?]

You didn't know? I thought everyone -

[RESPONSE: MOCKING: THAT WAS A JOKE. EVEN A DROID LIKE ME FIGURED THAT OUT.]

Oh, ha, very funny. You pretend to be heartless, but I know you care. Hera wouldn't let you hang around after so long if you didn't.

Anyway, I thought I had it successfully buried after so long. There were bigger problems than some teenage crush, right? The Empire breathing down our necks, trying to outrun the Inquisitors, then Malachor, Mandalore, and then back to Lothal . . . I thought I had outgrown it.

(bitter-sweet smile)

But it turns out that it was still growing inside me. Went from a crush to something more. I love her. Nothing could shake it, not even what was revealed on Mandalore. I just wanted to be with her, through whatever the galaxy threw at us.

I love her, Chopper. I love Sabine Wren. She's in my veins, pumping through my arteries, giving me life. Giving me strength.

. . . You stopped recording, right? I don't want any of this in the message.

[STATEMENT: LIE: YES.]

(snorts)

Yeah, right.

Kanan and I talked a little about Jedi attachments a while back. I know how he and Hera handled it. I had hoped - no, I still hope that someday, me and Sabine will be able to give it a try.

(laughs)

If she'd have me, that is. Sometimes I catch her looking at me, smiling, and I think I get a sense of something . . . I don't know how to describe it, something deeper - and then she makes some glib remark or insult and it's gone again. I might just be delusional, though. Too many hits on my head through the years of combat against the Imps.

[STATEMENT: OBSERVATION: I CATCH YOU LOOKING AT HER, TOO.]

Oh, really? And how do I look? What's my expression like, I wonder.

[STATEMENT: THOUGHTFUL: STAR-STRUCK.]

. . . Yeah, that sounds about right. Looking at her - with these feelings I'm so desperate to hide, it's so hard sometimes. If I had to describe it - it's like trying to count a flock of birds against the sun.

Can't do it, right? It's too bright.

(quietly) Too bright. She's too bright to look at for so long. But I want to try anyway, like the sap I am. I guess I'm hoping that the image of her will be burned into my eyes. If my plan works, the chances of survivability are extremely low, you know.

I'd like her to be the last thing I see when I close my eyes for the last time, if the worst happens. Some people want stars, or forests, or a blue sky for a last image. Not me.

I just want her.

[QUERY: SOFT: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY?]

I love everything about her. Equally. Good, bad, ugly - or whatever she thinks is ugly about her. I certainly don't think there is. It's all Sabine, after all. And I love Sabine. So how could it any of it be bad?

The war won't stop because Thrawn is out of the picture. And it will be harder without me. And it guts me to think that I can't be by her side after this is all said and finished.

She has to do it. I have faith in Sabine that she will get it done. I'm counting on her, and I know she will not let me down.

I . . . all I can say is that I'm sorry. And I love you.

The only way out from all the grief and misery to come is to just get through it. She's the strongest person I know.

The only way out is through.

. . . And I know you've been recording all this time despite me saying to stop. So, we'll end this here. I'll just have Hera delete this memory file later after I do the real message.

[QUERY: SURPRISED: WHY DO YOU NOT WISH FOR SABINE TO HEAR THIS?]

Maybe I want to tell her myself when I see her again.

Or maybe I don't want her to be burdened with any of this. She has enough on her plate because of me.

(sighs)

I'll have to lie. Sorry, Sabine. If it really is the end . . . I don't want her to be hung up on me. There needs to be a chance to live her life. Even without me. Especially without me.

[STATEMENT: HONEST: TRUTH OR LIE, IT DOES NOT MATTER; SHE WILL COME AFTER YOU. WHEREVER YOU GO.]

(smiles sadly)

But the lie will hurt less, I think. Just this one time. To protect her.

Anyway, thanks for the help Chopper. Sorry for the sudden shut-down, I'll make it up to you later -

[RECORDING HALTED]

[NOTATION: BACKUP MEMORY FILE CREATED.]

_ _ _ _ _

The comm-tower's interior was deathly silent.

Sabine sat in her chair, staring at Chopper in shock. Her hands were shaking, badly.

"Why - why did you show me this?" she asked, feeling sick.

The astromech replayed a part of the conversation - Ezra, from long ago, struggling to leave her a good-bye message.

"The only way out is through."

The shaking stopped. Her hands, cold and clammy, balled into fists.

"I tried that. For three years," she hissed. "And he still won't leave me. He's still in my veins, making everything hurt."

The astromech just played Ezra's voice again.

"The only way out is through."

She stood up abruptly. "Get out," she snarled. "I don't want to hear this anymore."

Chopper let out a sigh, swiveling around to head for the comm-tower's turbolift to exit. But then he paused at the doorway and started playing another voice - only this time, it was Hera's.

"Hey, Sabine. I know I'm the last person you want to hear after everything that happened - but I found this voice file on Chop's back-up memory banks. Thought you might want to hear it."

Sabine bowed her head, feeling the guilt, anger, and shame weigh down on her shoulders like an invisible weight.

"I know you feel alone right now. I know that you feel like you've lost faith with everything you cared about - and it's because of me, partially. And Ahsoka. And the New Republic."

There was a strange sound emitting from her now. A sob, a scream, she wasn't sure - it was half-strangled in her throat, close to becoming a deathly wail.

"Just know this," Hera continued. "Someone still believes in you. If you lose faith in everything else, don't lose faith in him."

There was a pause. Then -

"And don't lose faith in yourself. Ezra never would. And . . . and happy birthday, Sabine."

Chopper left. The moment the turbo-lift doors closed, she crumpled to the ground, arms folding across her stomach; it felt like everything vital within her was threatening to spill out.

"It didn't hurt less, idiot," she said through gritted teeth. "You lied. You lied!"

After so long, incredibly, Sabine found her fire. Her will to go on.

And it was because she was pissed at Ezra Bridger.

"I'll find you," she whispered, shaking, rising in the gloom of the comm-tower's dark interior. Outside, the Lothal sun was rising on a new day.

Sabine stumbled outside to the railing, feeling the rays of sunlight hit her face. She felt energized, alive, in a way that had long been absent from her life for a long, long while.

Somewhere, a flock of birds were flying against the sun, making for their nesting grounds. Were there birds, wherever he was? Was he still trying to count them?

It didn't matter, she thought. When Sabine found him again - and she would - she would make sure that he saw her for real.

[lesbianalanwake]

more idle Severance thoughts:

--Severance heads, y'all heard about Prey 2017? y'all heard about Control 2019? completely unrelated video games and TV show, and yet it's a trilogy to me.

--pondering Cobel as always.... she wants something from the severed floor and is at odds with Lumon, but it'll be interesting to see what degree of quasi-religious crisis she's having. like, full-blown crisis of doubt/loyalty? or rationalizing it along the lines of something like, Lumon and the current Eagans have strayed from Kier's light, true believer kinda deal? or not even trying to rationalize it, lol, just fuck you, I want what I want, and there is nothing contradictory about me <3

but the S1 finale is becoming increasingly more amusing to me..... the dichotomy between Devon and Mark S being justifiably freaked that Mark S's boss is there and infiltrating their lives, thinking that she would hurt baby Eleanor, while Cobel doesn't give one iota of a fuck that Mark S is there beyond the fact that Helly R could blow a hole in the operation, tells Mark to quit, doesn't do anything to stop him from spilling any beans, and runs off to go do the one thing that will get her back into Lumon. inscrutable queen <3

--Irving worked at Lumon for some years prior to becoming severed, so the question is when the infiltration aspect started. did he apply to work at Lumon with that intent? did something happen that made him turn against them after he started working there? did he discover something about the testing floor? did something happen to him on the testing floor? I feel like Irving having always been a double agent would add some rich flavor to how Lumon-pilled Irving B was, but there's also potential in Irving being used to set the thematic mold for other possible Lumon turncoats. (-grabbing Cobel, Helena, and Milchick by the shoulders and shaking them- rebel! rebel! rebel!) like it could go either way and be satisfying.... such is the character work

--in S1 Helly tells Mark "I'm not your new Petey," but he's trying to be her Petey, trying to mentor her and protect her from his same perceived mistakes and the consequences of them, while in S1 we mostly see a rapidly reintegrating Petey interacting with outie Mark. and if that is Helena on the severed floor, not Helly, then it would be interesting to see an echo of S1: a reintegrating Mark, who is actively investigating the severed floor, interacting with Helena, who is drawn into starting to question and doubt. lots of potential for drama, but also kind of funny as hell if they're both walking around like "yes, that's me, your local innie worker reporting for duty."

--also it's extremely ghoulish that Lumon may have specifically headhunted Mark to work for them after Gemma's "death," in order to start whatever MDR nonsense they needed. because like. he's stuck in his grief, and he's been stuck in it for two years and incapable of moving on, but they place an emphasis on how "you carry it with you" even if you forget, and Milchick says that iMark's happiness will trickle back up to him, but it's the opposite. he's "refining" data that has to do with Gemma, and it has an impact on MDR's cognitive functioning ("scary" numbers), and so the wound is just being continually reopened over and over. no wonder Mark is stuck

(I'm also coming up on a two-year anniversary of grief next week, and it does suck so bad even if things are okay now, and so I'm in a Mark appreciation era right now.... like yeah I'm handling it way better than him but I get it. I get it, man)

-- do we think. do we think Helly was refining data for Kier Eagan with the Siena file

--WHAT are they gonna do with the "visitation" area for families (if they do anything at all, and it's not just a carrot to dangle in front of Dylan). because Irving and Mark and potentially Helena all have some vested interest in being down there as themselves, but Dylan doesn't! Dylan G just wants more than his wife's name and a glimpse of his son, and Dylan just needs a job! Dylan as the everyman is killing me..... literally forming the link holding the team together vis a vis enabling the overtime contingency, and there's every possibility that some part of him resents not being able to join in, or is feeling left out. and that's what the idea of the visitation suite would be preying on.... "the others got out, even though they didn't even really have anything to get out to. but we'll give you that glimpse, and it's just for you." AAAAAH

[thesunshinenotebook]

Ok, so! Besides the usual, “Of course Newt made it to the safe haven, what are you talking about?? What's page 250???” jokes, I've also seen a couple of posts recently by people who were annoyed that we literally refuse to accept this man's death. And so I throw my opinion into the void. Yes, I love fix-it fics and AUs where Newt lives. In fact, they're all canon to me. But! From an analytical standpoint, I bring this controversial (??) opinion:

Newt had to catch the Flare. He had to die.

In this slightly long and largely unedited essay, I will explain why…

Newt not being immune, besides adding emotional turmoil and intense pain to the story, also added humanity to the Flare, the disease that robs people of their humanity. The Cranks could be perceived as soulless monsters, obstacles, plot development and nothing more. We know that they theoretically used to be humans, and we feel pity for them on some level, but it’s not the focus of our attention. Newt changes that, because Newt is a Crank, and Newt is a human, and we love Newt. I’m aware that other characters were infected before Newt was (in the book all of the Gladers thought that they were infected and in the movie Winston and Brenda actually were), but I feel like Newt being such an important character and getting the virus really brought this point home.

The entire series revolves around the choice between two evils: let the world fall to disease, or torture children for a theoretical cure. Newt experienced both sides of the issues (fell to the disease AND was also tortured for research before that, the poor guy). He understood the need for a cure better than anyone, but he also knew exactly what WICKED would do to get it. And guess what? Torturing children is never ethical!

Newt couldn't live, because then it would just be Thomas and friends vs. the inferior losers with the Flare. Newt didn’t deserve to die, but his friends didn’t exactly deserve for him to live (though they didn’t deserve to lose him, either). The world is unfair, and they couldn’t win everything. This, again, shows the complexity of the issue, challenging Thomas's decision to leave the city and give up on the idea of a cure.

Another issue brought up by Newt's catching the Flare and his subsequent death is this continuous motif of memory and identity, which obviously played a huge role in the rest of the series as well (everyone losing their memories before the maze, writing their names on the wall, remembering all of their friends that died). Newt has always been selfless and caring, and this continues even as he begins to lose his sanity and himself. Newt wants to hang on to who he is rather than turning into a monster, and, ultimately, he chooses death over losing himself. He lives on in memory, though, as well as through his journal. There are so many other complexities to Newt's story; questions of identity, depression, selflessness, bottled emotions, and love. All of this immensely complicates his death, and the fact that it was technically suicide. It's so important to have characters like Newt in fiction, if only to explore the depths of these issues. So many of us can see so much of ourselves in Newt. His story might not give us all the answers, but it does give us a reason to hope.

The truth is that life is unfair. Newt's situation emphasizes how true this is in the story, humanizing the Flare virus and drawing a direct comparison between wicked's goal and the goal of the kids who are running from them. Our world today is similarly unfair, though obviously in different ways. There are challenges and setbacks and hurt, just like in the story, but Newt proves that these troubles aren't all that there is. We can't escape every problem, but we can make the most of what we do have. We can love and joke and laugh with others, even if the world is falling apart. The ending might be sad, but the pages in the middle can still make us smile, and maybe help us inspire the next person to do the same. 

[colossusking-orach]

Rant Incoming

I definitely agree about power dynamics. It helps me visualize concepts like wealth, resource, social, or even just general inequality within real life. Sometimes I’ll think back to a post about Giant employers forcing tiny people to work, office bullying, and slumlords housing hundreds.

It scares me to think that if (square cube law and laws of physics be damned) a sudden shift in everyone’s size happened. Nothing would truly change, in the sense that some people who were relatively unaffected wouldn’t bother to watch where they step or take advantage of the situation.

I like think about fear as an emotion. Obviously if I was shrunk down to the size of a house cat or smaller, I would be terrified. Considering all the potential dangers would be overwhelming, then having to learn continued survival would send me straight into a panic attack. Could I trust a being so much bigger than me? It would be basic instinct not to.

But then, I’ll think about the people who should love me and help me. Should. There’s a novel, "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka, that I haven’t even read yet because I watched a video that summarized it.

New Fear Unlocked

Suddenly become a burden to those around me, eventually leading to resentment and abuse, ending with everyone relieved that I’m finally gone.

Which then leads to the fantasy of being rescued. To have my favorite person or just a kind stranger take control and bring me somewhere safe. However, the dark side of this is wondering how far am I willing to go to be well cared for? Would I exchange my independence and anatomy to never work again? Would I become a dependent or codependent? For me it’s a slippery slope, I’m already considering hitting the Appalachian Trail with no backpacking experience, so what do I really have to lose?

TLDR: G/t is enticing for a wide range of reasons. One being reading and writing about the things that bother and/or excite us adds perspective. The other being the craving to escape. An innate desire to find a better situation, forge a better life, to make a living easier.

GT Drabbles

Okay... So I'm someone who super hides that I think about GT frequently in the real world, but I have been snooping on Tumblr etc for an embarrassingly long time, and I was wondering if anyone has opinions about how to find GT community without being an incredibly vocal internet (really any platform) presence. I also have wondered for a long time what the appeal of GT is for me; it might be an excuse to imagine the world in extreme detail, it may be the power dynamics, the inherent awkwardness, the wonder that comes with trying to grapple with someone else's perspective at the same time as clarifying your own.... would be curious what the people think it is for them. I'm dubious that this will get any responses, but here goes.

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you