#because colorism has always been more directed at women from media

[jovenshires]

endless au edits: smosh theatre's seasonal lineup (1/4)

SMOSH'S SEASONAL LINEUP: A COMPLETE GUIDE by mac kahey smosh theatre, a musical theater company known for its diverse and inclusive productions, has just announced its show lineup for the year, and it is safe to say that fans are far from disappointed. starting off strong, the company kicked off its announcement with its winter showcase: a production of hadestown, led by stars damien haas and jacklyn uweh, and directed by none other than returning smosh co-founder, anthony padilla. padilla made his comeback to smosh a little over six months ago to collaborate with his fellow co-owner on their spring and summer musicals. this will be padilla's first solo show at the playhouse in nearly six years - and what a show to start off on. coupling this tragic tale of love lost with padilla's edgy direction style is a bold move, and fans are, rightfully, excited. the casting choices are also impeccable. the star-studded lineup includes previously-mentioned damien haas, an openly neurodivergent and queer actor making waves for representation everywhere. he'll be taking on the role of orpheus, a hopeless romantic, poet, and musician, and as someone who had the pleasure of sitting down with him for an interview last spring, all of these qualities describe haas to a t. this will be his first time leading a show with smosh in his near-six-year run at the company, and his first time working with padilla as a director. the actor shared the show to his instagram and expressed his excitement for the production, saying, "anthony is such a great director. it's been an honor to work with him and my amazing castmates." speaking of his castmates - his leading lady is none other than superstar jacklyn uweh. returning from her recent stint touring with the cast of spring awakening, she has rejoined the smosh cast for another performance that's sure to be amazing. the actress is known for advocating for women of color in theater spaces and never being afraid to speak her mind. she also, notably, has one of the most incredible singing voices of our generation. taking on the mysterious yet powerful role of eurydice will be no easy feat, but somehow, i think she has the power to manage it. just with this one casting, smosh has shown that when the perfect cast falls into their lap, they aren't foolish enough not to utilize it. the stacked cast doesn't stop there, though. playing hermes, the play's narrator and father figure to young orpheus, is ify nwadiwe, a booming comedic actor who has been known to feature in smosh productions. his fun-loving demeanor and natural swagger are sure to bring a natural carefree energy to this rendition of hadestown. he, too, spoke of the production fondly on social media, posting on x: "this is one of the greatest things i've ever been a part of. come see us next december to february at the smosh playhouse for one of the most incredible, f***ed up things we've ever done." long-time smosh player keith leak jr is taking on the role of hades, the rich, powerful, and egotistical king of the underworld, and his friend and partner in all things theater, olivia sui, will be beside him once more as persephone, hades's free-spirited yet suffering wife. watching these two together is always a delight, and i cannot wait for their dynamic to shine through the characters that they play. as far as the winter production is concerned, the community's shared high hopes for padilla's return may very well turn out to be grounded in reality. with an all-star cast and an incredible crew, such as returning stage head erin dougal, it is easy to see that padilla knows what he's doing. though only time will tell, i am confident that this production will be a huge success, and very well may be my favorite show of the year - although, i must mention the other productions first - because they all have incredible potential.

[teaveetamer]

It's okay if butwhatifidothis risks leading people to harass Captain Flash by going over his fic but it's not okay if Raxis does the same to reynaattheend?

Okay I feel like I want to get one thing out of the way before I go into this.

BWIIDT agreed to remove parts of the old reviews that were particularly rude or offensive if they were pointed out to her, something that was literally promised to the MODS of the Edelstan discord server (who claimed to have a direct line of communication to Cap).

So the guy literally had a chance to air his grievances with the posts and have the parts he didn’t like removed within reason, and we never got any examples of things to ask her to remove. So either she’s not as rude as people make her out to be, or they never actually cared about her critiques and haven’t bothered reading them, even when handed the literal opportunity to edit things out they didn’t like.

Additionally BWIIDT has said that she would be willing to remove all the postings completely if the guy would just hear her criticisms and learn from them, so he could better handle the racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. in his fic. Of which there is a lot.

I don’t know how you could possibly compromise more without just straight up being a door mat and pretending like this white man never had any issues with the way he wrote race and women.

Anyway as for why I view these as two completely different situations that are not really comparable IMO:

1) Cap’s fic is/was at the time literally being shoved at people. We were told to read it to “understand canon better”.

This isn’t just me saying this. I remember around the time before/slightly after BWIIDT started giving her criticisms of the fic I was seeing it getting recommended to a bunch of people. There were people on various social media sites complaining about the Edel crowd shoving the fic down their throats. I had it recommended to me on some different platforms, etc.

And that’s not just fans of the fics’ perception. Cap himself has stated that he views the fic as meta commentary on the game/discussion of canon, not just a fun little fic he did. And he’s happy people view it as essential for understanding canon.

As far as I’m aware, Reyna’s fic has never had that sort of culture around it, nor has she wanted it to have that kind of impact on fandom. I’m pretty sure she’s even explicitly stated that she KNOWS it’s not always aligned with canon and she doesn’t care, because it’s just a fun little project for her.

2) As far as I’m aware, BWIIDT never linked to Cap’s fic? I don’t even think she gave the title of it at first, it’s just that most people figured out what fic she was talking about BECAUSE of the aforementioned it getting shoved down everyone’s throats. But I wasn’t really following her in the beginning so I don’t remember, I’m sure she can reblog this posting if she wants and further clarify.

Raxy has literally been linking to Reyna’s fic on every posting and spelling out the full name of the fics and the author. Given his followers’ propensity for harassment (which he claims to not support) he really should have known better. He wasn’t “risking” sending her harassment it was basically a foregone conclusion.

He definitely should have taken all of the links down and stopped linking or naming the author or fic after it became clear people were literally going and harassing her, using his posts and material to throw at her. But as far as I’m aware he hasn’t done ANY of that.

3) I know from talking with BWIIDT since Raxy started harassing everyone here that she wasn’t going to bother with Cap’s fic originally, but then the annoying fans shoving it down people’s throats + she noticed a lot of very problematic handling of race that she wanted to talk about in greater depth = her discussing the fic at length.

I haven’t read through Raxy’s criticisms, but I feel like there’s a BIG difference between a woman of color pointing out the problems regarding race and gender in a fic (written by a white man) that’s being recommended to everyone as ESSENTIAL FOR UNDERSTANDING THE GAME vs. Some Guy Who Doesn’t Like A Random Fic

Additionally, I don’t really feel like it’s my place to tell her to shut up because, uh, it just feels kind of gross to tell her to just not be mad about the way the white guy is butchering the biracial experience when she’s a biracial woman and I’m not? Which again, very different from telling a 35 year old cishet white guy who is acting like a dick about anime chess to be less of a dick about anime chess.

4) And again, I also know for a fact that BWIIDT is just interested in critiquing/venting about the fic, and would be willing to stop making postings about it if Cap actually bothered to read the critiques and learn from the mistakes he’s made regarding the racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. in his fic.

But like, he keeps doubling down on it insisting that because he grew up next to a reservation and he has one queer woman doing his beta reading there could never be any problems with his handling of any of these sensitive topics, so he doesn’t need to listen to any of us ever, and people are still touting it as essential for understanding canon, and he’s still okay with that, sooooooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s VERY different from what Raxy is doing, which is basically just calling Reyna’s fics “cringe” and “not canon” from the snippets I’ve seen. He’s also blasting them over LITERALLY every social media platform he has for some godforsaken reason. Which like. If your goal was just to critique the fic why are you posting that shut EVERYWHERE?

5) I really don’t think Raxy is that bothered by the criticisms of Cap’s fic. He harasses people regardless of if they’ve talked about Cap or his fic, and after his aborted attempt to drum up harassment against BWIIDT on GameFaqs he came to Tumblr and started begging her to “do his fic next”

Like honestly I don’t even know what goes on in that guy’s head. Weird ass behavior. I really don’t care what he has going on, it’d just be nice if he’d act like the 35 year old he actually is and quit being so petty and childish.

Even if you think what BWIIDT did with Cap’s fic is wrong, why would it EVER be acceptable to drag an uninvolved third party into the mix and bash their fic and send them harassment as “retaliation”? Reina has nothing to do with this. She doesn’t even have fucking social media accounts outside of AO3. I know because I literally left her a comment to warn her about this clown and she told me.

What BWIIDT has done with Cap’s fic is admittedly a bit of a grey area, but ultimately I fall on the side of “whatever” with it because of the notoriety and influence on fandom fans of the fic desperately want it to have, and because of just how problematic elements of it are for various communities.

I mean you can’t go reccing a fic as essential for understanding the game and shoving it down the entire fandoms’ collective throat and then expect it to be treated like a 14 year old’s silly self insert fic when the people you told to read it critique it with the gravitas you assigned to it.

If you wanna critique BWIIDT for what she did with Cap’s fic, or critique me or anyone else for interacting with her, or you just think my logic is stupid and you want to critique that, then that’s… fine? I’m an adult, I’m a person, I know there’s places I can grow. But I’m sick of people acting like it’s okay to be a shitty person just because you got your feelings hurt once, so now it’s okay to go making it everyone else’s problem. And I don’t know if it was your intention to defend the guy with this ask anon, but it’s definitely happened too damn much with this guy and the Edelgard fandom as a whole.

That was another thing that really fucked me off in that conversation with the Edelstan server mods. I had one of them acting like I run fucking Reddit and I’m somehow responsible for some trolls calling Edelgard fans Nazis four fucking years ago. You can bet your ass I would get crucified if I tried to shit talk some random ass Edeleth fic and tried to justify it with “but it’s ok cuz some Edelgard fans were mean to me once :(“. There’s a reason why the fic being touted as essential for understanding canon is the one getting critiques and not any of the THOUSANDS of other Edeleth fics in existence. Because no one fucking cares about fanfics when they aren’t getting shoved down your throat and touted as “essential”.

I mean fuck dude, I got called a fake queer and an r-slur and intentionally triggered with genocide bullshit and had people talking about killing me. Am I going around harassing random fic authors over it? No, cuz I’m a grown ass fucking adult and I know how to act like it, and I know that 99% of the people who write/have written Edeleth fics had absolutely nothing to do with that.

So if you’re justifying going after Reyna with “but BWIIDT was mean to Cap!” Then knock it off, Reyna has literally nothing to do with this and you’re being shitty by trying to drag her into it. If you just did this to spork a fic, then you’re currently being a dick over a fanfic for no reason and clearly it’s leading to the author being harassed.

@butwhatifidothis if you wanna add onto this feel free.

[iwanthermidnightz]

Wow. Really great songs and videos that Maren released today. Please give it a watch! The article below is also a really good read. She’s so real for exposing the cracks in the facade of country music. Love this for her! Everyone go support Maren 🤍

Maren Morris calls her new two-track EP “The Bridge,” which is just one of several metaphors she deploys in imagining a path out of the world of country music in which she became a star.

On “The Tree,” the Grammy-winning singer-songwriter says she’s “done filling a cup with a hole in the bottom”; “Get the Hell Out of Here” opens with the admission that she “watered the garden but forgot to fill the well.”

It’s not that Morris, 33, has tired of twanging guitars or neatly cornered rhymes, both of which define the tunes that came out Friday, a decade after she moved to Nashville from her native Texas, first to write songs for established country acts such as Tim McGraw and later to sign a major-label record deal of her own. Rather, she says she’s leaving because of what she views as the country music industry’s unwillingness to honestly reckon with its history of racism and misogyny and to open its gates to more women and queer people and people of color.

“I thought I’d like to burn it to the ground and start over,” she says of country music. “But it’s burning itself down without my help.”

The singer acknowledges that, as a white woman, she’s benefited from the system as it is. Yet Morris, who says, “Allyship begins with waking up from something really comfortable,” has been vocal in her criticisms onstage and on social media, where she tangled last year with country star Jason Aldean and his wife over young people seeking gender-affirming healthcare. The spat even made it to Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show, where the right-wing host described Morris as a “lunatic.”

“The Bridge,” which marks Morris’ move to Columbia Records from the label’s Nashville division, arrives accompanied by a music video for “The Tree” in which she strolls through an emptied-out small town as she hears “the sound of a new wind blowing.” A sign welcomes visitors to the place “from sunrise to sundown” — a reference, perhaps, to the threat of racist vigilantism many perceived in Aldean’s recent “Try That in a Small Town” video; other signs in front of boarded-up buildings read “GO WOKE GO BROKE” and “DON’T TREAD ON ME.”

Morris is currently at work on her next LP with prolific pop producer Jack Antonoff, with whom she recorded “Get the Hell Out of Here.”

Obviously, being one of the few women that had any success on country radio, everything you do is looked at under a microscope. You’re scrutinized more than your male peers, even when you’re doing well. So I’ve had to clear all of that out of my head this year and just write songs. A lot of the drama within the community, I’ve chosen to step outside out of it.

Did that drama — your feud with the Aldeans, let’s say — push you in that direction? Or were you headed that way from the beginning?

I’ve always been an asker of questions and a status quo challenger just by being a woman. So it wasn’t really even a choice. I didn’t think of myself as a political artist. I just wrote songs about real life through a lens of deep respect for my country heroes. But the further you get into the country music business, that’s when you start to see the cracks. And once you see it, you can’t un-see it. So you start doing everything you can with the little power you have to make things better.

That doesn’t make you popular. But I don’t think that biting the hand that fed you is a real thing. It’s kind of a fallacy at this point, with all this fear-mongering about getting Dixie Chick-ed and whatnot. Country music is a business, but it gets sold, particularly to young writers and artists who come up within it, as almost a god. It kind of feels like indoctrination. If you truly love this type of music and you start to see problems arise, it needs to be criticized. Anything this popular should be scrutinized if we want to see progress.

But I’ve kind of said everything I can say. I always thought I’d have to do middle fingers in the air jumping out of an airplane, but I’m trying to mature here and realize I can just walk away from the parts of this that no longer make me happy.

Does your leaving country music mean the libs have been owned?

I’m sure some people may think that. And I would say, “Feel free. Go ahead.” I don’t want to have an adversarial relationship to country music. I still find myself weirdly wanting to protect it. But it’s not a family member. That’s the f—ed-up part, is that I’m talking about it as if it’s a person, but it’s not. So it’s a lot of deep deconstructing that I’m still unraveling.

These songs are obviously the result of that — the aftermath of walking away from something that was really important to you and the betrayal that you felt very righteously. But also knowing there’s a thread of hope as you get to the other side. I hope it comes across that way because I truly was in a space of hope when I wrote the two songs, even though “Get the Hell Out of Here” is really heavy. It’s about disarming that trauma and saying, “I can’t bail water out of this sinking ship anymore. It’s so futile. I choose happiness.”

Whose career path do you admire in terms of the ability to move from one style to another?

Certainly Taylor Swift. She’s been such a great friend over the years and has been really helpful in ways she probably doesn’t even realize in conversations I’ve had with her about everything you and I have been talking about.

You performed a song with Swift at an Eras tour stop in Chicago. What did you think of the show?

It was so inspiring. Performing for 3½ hours, three days in a row — no one can do that but her. And it’s such a supportive crowd: 90% women and 10% gays and dads. I’ve never felt so safe at a live show before. No one’s hammered or puking in the aisles or getting into a fight or anything. It’s just so joyful. And the way she makes that huge stadium setting feel intimate is astounding to me. In Chicago, I started running down the catwalk toward her after I came out of the hydraulic lift. She said, “Take your time,” and I was like, “OK, good, because this thing’s a mile long.”

[possessionisamyth]

Is it me or do some fans scapegoat Ada for Capcom not doing anything else with the RE female characters? Even though Ada isn't even allowed to appear in media without Leon (and even then, she doesn't always appear with him).

I wouldn't say it's just you, but I would say the latest Resident Evil content this year is stirring a pot much faster than when RE7 dropped when it comes to how they handle these characters and the franchise as a whole. They want to make everything more serious. They want to pander to certain groups of fans when it comes to character direction. They're trying to bring back the horror without understanding the spikes of comedy and cheesiness whether or not they were accidental is what makes the series so iconic, but that's a slightly different conversation. So, let's focus on Ada.

Listen. Ada has always been a character in a precarious situation when it comes to fandom. There's a lot of "interesting" qwhite people who love Leon so much they see her as a personal threat with their misogyny. She's a visible woman of color, which gets her hit with the racism. She's allegedly Chinese, as she could also be Taiwanese or Cantonese, or a different ethnicity since we don't even know her real name, so she gets hit with xenophobia overseas. She's also not a "nice" person who babies Leon, so she gets hit with the double misogyny from those same "interesting" qwhite people who never draw Leon with brown hair even though that's his canonical hair color. She's a woman so showing her as capable without the sexiness slapped onto her makes her "ugly" and makes the 3% of fans who yell about it the loudest cry and scream so much that Capcom will rope it back into her character however they can.

Then we have current fandom itself, and how it's changed, and how it's not changed at all. I saw a post I can't find at the moment stating the current waves of fandom have this new pattern with people who don't want to seem like they're misogynist or sexist, so they'll say the women characters are great and then do nothing for them. No rambling about them. Barely any fanart. Very little headcanons. The tiniest amount of fanfic, and if they get any of these things there has to be a male character the artist clearly favorites in the spotlight of the piece. The pieces of art that are women focused get half as much attention as the male focused pieces. Those same fandom pieces get 1/4 of that attention when the characters are visible women of color not at their sexiest, cutest, or palest form. The original poster I spoke of was obviously right. If you don't believe me, look at how many notes any "good" Leon post gets compared to the other women, and you'll start to see a pattern very quickly.

Ada is the easiest to vilify because fandom always hates "mean" women, women of color, and women point blank. Hell, the racist's vitriol was so bad they removed Sheva from various editions of the game cover of RE5 and left it as Chris or put Jill there when you can only play with her in the DLC. It doesn't help with how Ada's writing is handled over the years, that fandom loves to put her on a proverbial stake saying she took attention or a possible role from Claire, or Jill, or even Rebecca now that she's getting more attention. But they'll more loudly say how Ada is taking attention from Piers, or Luis, or even fucking Birkin. It's not entirely about how they diss and scapegoat Ada, it's the bullshit all around the diss they're making. It's about who they would personally slot in to replace her or any woman character, and why they would do that which speaks the loudest to me. If you pay attention, you'll see what wavelength their brains are running on when they drop that nonsense.

Now hear me out. I came into Resident Evil after watching all of Lupin III. Quick summary, it's an old manga that got an anime in the early 70s, and is still getting remade today about a group of thieves who steal expensive shit.

There's only 1 woman in the main recurring cast, Fujiko Mine, and since everyone has a gimmick, her's is sex appeal and that there's a 50/50 chance she'll steal the treasure from the group of men for herself at the end. No matter how many times she does this, Lupin III as a character loves her regardless. He knows that changing her means he'd have to change himself, neither of which would be a good thing, because change doesn't always mean improvement. She has been handled by so many men and a few women writers for the last 50 years I've seen all the possible ways a femme fatale can be written super well and super poorly. And even though she does all of the exact same shit as Lupin does, fans(new fans especially) will still call her a bitch. And I've had to call people out a million times with 1:1 canon comparisons to make them see it's the misogyny glasses they're looking through when they make this judgement about her.

This also means I came in looking at the Leon and Ada relationship from a completely different angle than probably 99% of the active members of the RE fandom on this site. I can see where she's written improperly for the chances she does get to appear, but I can see the potential in it, and I can see and understand how their relationship is structured the way it is. I do believe that Ada having time to herself without Leon in the game or Leon even being a priority is desperately needed for her character. I also think this narrative decision will scapegoat her further because fandom will say that attention should've gone to [Insert Male Character Here] that is an old character brought back or a completely new white guy in his 30s on the side of good who talks to another main dude for about 2 times if that much.

However, if anyone who read this far would like to see who's actually taking all the attention in an RE movie or RE game, feel free to do a tally for how many times each character gets to speak and compare the final numbers when you're done. For the games, repeated lines do not count to make it a little easier.

[sunspira]

this is really really good i've been trying to find words for it. it also leads into my feeling that a lot of white girls in general especially lily white american skinny white girls from evangelical christian south find words like beast disgusting slug gremlin as freeing and affirming and a departure from the restrictive dainty little box they were pushed into. but simultaneously a lot of girls who are not white find those terms degrading and insulting and misogynistic and not feeling to reclaim at all and are like "don't call me that 😑" because they have been boxed into a very dehumanizing and animalistic and dirty image pushed on them under racism and misogynior and have had the humanity to be seen as remotely delicate or innocent stolen from them for as long as they can remember as little girls. i think some anger towards her post coming from chicks who are not terfs is rooted in this disconnect.

i think miss cain is similar to a lot of white girls where she is completely unaware of how her white privilege impacts her self image and can make her oblivious to what words are inadvertently and inappropriately cruel and cut deep for women of color who love trans women but do not want to have their vagine called disgusting and beastly with thick coarse dark manly hair thrown back in their face by a white girl in an attempt to be affirming and feminist. by a white southern daughter of all things, which isn't exactly enormously privileged over me but comes from a world that is so , so different to me and a womanhood so linked to old americana and emblematic throughout media and is more mainstream. idk maybe if it was a black southern trans woman posting this it would feel more earned and have that affirming and box escaping impact for women of color. while coming from white queer people can be so sour tasting. now let's be really clear all that was NOT the intent and she was clearly saying all that directed at other white girls in her music scene who are very transphobic. I say this more the sense of us understanding why some trans women or trans positive onlookers from outside her very skinny white alt girl rebel scene found all that kind of obnoxious. i am always interested in how gender role defiance affirmation can be so different depending on if society has infantilized you or animalized you as a woman.

the post in question

i can definitely look at this girl and her blog and be like ok you're achieving fragile and delicate tomboy rebellious femininity better than me please don't tell me how gross dirty oily and beastly 'our' slug body is. like you're completely right ideologically and you and i should not feel ashamed of our bodies and being trans is a huge factor in this that i think gives her a lot more credence to reclaim masculinized insults. but every time girls like this do it there's some bitter taste in the mouth for sure and i think she passes so well as a cis girl who is also otherwise all those traditionally feminine things under white supremacy i struggle to see her trans marginalization over her other glaring privileges and perhaps that's why i and others felt annoyed with her too. which is why i needed to unpack for a while, both on my shortcomings and hers. not because she is in the wrong nor deserved hate but because women across backgrounds body types sexualities ethnicities races cultures nationalities have so many different forms of misogyny pushed on us. until what can feel revolutionary freeing and affirming for one girl can instead almost mimic the restrictive status quo beating us into a forcibly masculinized self image once again. this can be addressed collaboratively and in good faith though like by no means am i saying one girls masc presentation is oppressing or hurting me. only that some self expressions by women will feel a bit mid for other chicks and it helps and brings a sense of peace and unity to think on various greater reasons why and still love and accept gross gremlin feminism for what it is and the good it's doing

[tulikaarora1]

Born on Instagram: How Entrepreneur Tulika Arora Built Her Brand

Instagram provides a multitude of tools and inspiration for company owners all around the world who want to convert their passion into a career. Born on Instagram is a new series highlighting companies that have built their communities, explored their creativity, and shaped culture using Instagram’s resources.

Meet our Influencer

First, let’s start with introducing our entrepreneur and content creator, Tulika Arora (), who founded Media Fleetblue, a digital marketing agency that relentlessly works with a close-knit team of expert researchers and works on building your brand in the digital space.

Tulika’s passionate outlook on hard work has brought her where she is today. She began Media Fleetblue, a digital marketing agency that believes in the power of relentless work. She started this digital marketing agency with Divyansh Raghuvanshi and curated a team of professionals who excel in their fields. We believe in practical research and brand building. We had the pleasure of working for numerous prestigious clients. Her career began traditionally, wherein she did a few internships during and after my years in her college.

How did your journey start?

I worked in PR for several years and was associated with Color Yellow Productions, where I was a product manager. Apart from all these, I have also worked for various brands like Indian Oil Corporation as the Social Media Manager for five states – Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra, Chattisgarh & Goa. National organizations like FSSAI have also appreciated us. These multi-tasking roles have helped her immensely with various brands.

When did you start developing your brand?

I’ve always been conscious of my brand, even before the internet. What started as a career in PR to help small businesses shifted into something even more significant. At my core, I’ve always wanted to be a champion for women and their businesses. 

How do you feel your business was born on Instagram?

A digital marketing agency that believes in the power of relentless work. I have curated a team of professionals who excel in their fields. My team and I think in practical research and brand building. We had the pleasure of working for numerous prestigious clients.

What’s changed about using Instagram today?

When I started using Instagram, it was all about presenting—showcasing the ideal dress or breakfast buffet. Because it’s about connection and education today, it’s much more potent. There’s also a higher bar for authenticity, which I particularly value since I’ve always been faithful to my account.

When it comes to creating content for your feed, what’s your approach?

My monthly material is anchored by three recurring series: #learn, #earn, and #havefun. I post anything with the intention of empowering women. I want them to wear as they choose and look and feel great.

How do you juggle the various projects you run on social media?

I’m surrounded by an excellent crew that keeps things working smoothly. I’ll admit that paying attention to details is not my strong point; therefore, I consider myself fortunate to be surrounded by individuals who do.

Any specific anecdotes that had a significant impact on you or your business?

I won’t stress any specific examples, but I will say that I continuously monitor my direct messages (DMs) for anything professional. Compared to email or any other site, Instagram is where I network the most frequently.

And any advice for businesses?

Network, I’ll say it once more. Establish connections with other brands and use your platform to inform consumers about your company.

Looking to learn more about how Instagram can help push your brand’s creativity? Browse our Instagram for Business and more inspiration, and follow (insert name) to watch Tulika’s live chat and daily updates

[the-pickup-lines]

How Do I Turn A Social Media Sites Crush Into A Day? Social Networks

Content

Utilize Your Buddies

Indications Your Partner Likes You Unconditionally

Methods We Self-sabotage In A New Relationship After An Unhealthy One

Don't Play Mind Games

A lot of discussions pass away out because of one straightforward factor. Therapy can aid when your normal function is endangered, Egel recommends. She describes therapy is typically a good option when you struggle to do things you normally would or have a difficult time locating pleasure in your life. If you maintain developing crushes that do not work out, it may aid to explore possible reasons for this, on your own or with a specialist. Pals as well as family who recognize what you're undergoing can likewise help take your mind off your crush by offering emotional assistance and recommending new interruptions. If that holds true for you, currently is the time to attempt something new.

Utilize Your Friends

And what's the best way to get over a crush when you choose that's the best path ahead? These deep feelings of infatuation are normal, very real, and completely valid. This holds true also if you have actually just gotten on a few dates, have been buddies for years, or haven't even talked to each other prior to. Cancers are deeply sensitive which swings both in the positive and also unfavorable direction.

This can be hard, specifically when you do know him well.

As opposed to talking to your crush, what you're gon na wan na concentrate your attention on is talking with women or men that you're much less frightened by.

Once they see you're interested, they might just return the feelings, and whatever will certainly fall into place.

Reframing our perspective on the circumstance, and humanizing your crush, might help to shift things back into a more clear view.

Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a years of experience covering health as well as health subjects.

Crushes usually include idealization, particularly when you don't know the individual well. You might focus on their favorable attributes, paying much less attention to things that aren't so excellent. Lowering your sensations can avoid you from overcoming them in efficient means. Certainly, it's totally possible that the person you mooned over in secondary school is as remarkable as you assumed; all you required was the right time to find along for you to reconnect.

Once they see you're interested, they might simply return the feelings, and also every little thing will certainly form. Do not wait around for years for your crush to look your method-- make points happen flirty pickup lines. They're always on your mind, you blush whenever they speak to you, you imagined what a day evening with them would certainly appear like ...

As the conversation progresses, you can slowly attract even more attention to your crush without leaving out the team. Approaching your crush in a team setting can be tough, yet it's feasible. Beginning by engaging with the whole group, not just your crush. This will assist you feel more comfortable as well as demonstrate your social abilities. To keep a conversation flowing efficiently, listen actively and also really engage in what your crush is saying.

These 12 second day suggestions direct from a dating instructor will escalate your dating success. Ideally, this post has helped you to load your note pad with some amazing points to talk about keeping that lady you have actually had your eye on. Just speaking about the mythical legendaries alone can be an excellent means to waste time.

Methods We Self-sabotage In A Brand-new Relationship After An Unhealthy One

If you are looking to get to know your crush (or anyone) much better, understanding the right questions to ask can aid you take the conversation to a much deeper level. Learning more about your crush also better starts with the standard inquiries, from their favorite color to their favored attire to any type of pastimes they do and much more. When you like someone, whether it's a crush or your long-term companion, sometimes simply informing them you like them isn't enough-- showing them how much you care can speak volumes. Here's 50 creative methods to tell somebody you like them without just all out claiming it. Particularly if it's a budding relationship, these little activities can be the perfect means to drop tips.

Especially as the appeal of video clip dating skyrocketed and also digital dates online came to be the standard. Do not await one more 2nd and do not allow your lovemaking experience even if you are also frightened to show your true feelings or send your crush a text. When it concerns crushes, partnerships as well as even friendships there is one point you need to remember and that is to deal with others they way you want to be dealt with. Surely, it is something you have actually heard prior to yet it is very real. So if you're ready to make your crush love you and devote to you totally, make certain to take a look at James Bauer's incredible recommendations.

The connection that you 2 have is one that lots of people just remember experiencing during teenage years. This will certainly assist give you viewpoint on your ~ crush situation ~. Inform your besties about what you speak about together, and also what they message you.

Do Not Play Mind Games

In the end, we all wish to remain in healthy connections with people that appreciate all that we are. Also if this person wasn't a good fit, it doesn't imply you won't discover someone else who is-- which individual can come around when you the very least anticipate it. So maintain those positive vibes, find out to enjoy yourself first, and others will certainly like you back, too. Everyone experiences this experience a minimum of once in their lives (if not more)! Remember that you will certainly make it through the truth that your crush does not like you back.

Your crush will really appreciate it when you send them a text wanting them good luck on the test they casually stated a couple of days in the past. It could sound quite noticeable however try to spend time around your crush, without coming off too solid. If you're simply starving over them from afar, they will not obtain a chance to learn more about just how incredible you are. Sit next to them at lunch, ask them to be your gym partner, or even suggest hanging around over the weekend. The one-on-one time will certainly offer you two the possibility to bond and also connect, opening the opportunity of a common destination. If your crush remains for longer than two years, it's technically identified as limerence.

[rauthschild]

Facebook is a military intelligence operation, developed as a surveillance and control program, by which people "voluntarily" disclose who they are, their political views, the locations of their homes and vacation spots, their friends and family members, personal interests, even pets are all on public view and published, therefore, no longer private.

If you give away your privacy, it's your decision to do so--- and if you read the information provided by Facebook's User Agreement, you will note that it's a private contract by which you surrender all ownership of the information you post. So, anything you post on Facebook, is no longer yours. It is Facebooks' property to use or destroy or suppress or do whatever else they like with it.

They can freely sell your information, photos, and other postings to the U.S. Military or to a commercial corporation like Amazon, or, well, whoever else.

And it's your fault. You can't complain. You entered into their User Agreement in order to use their services.

Now nothing that you've ever posted on Facebook can be considered private or privileged information--- which is fine, if you knew that and acted accordingly, but not so cool if you didn't know and posted things on Facebook indiscriminately --- as many people do.

Most of what passes for military intelligence amounts to the same kind of sneaky business--- getting you to disclose things about yourself that are helpful to them in their ever-expanding quest to know, command, and control you and your friends and your family and your environment, too.

They will tell you that this is for your protection, just like they will tell you that the BBC is for your entertainment.

But not really. Always remember that the BBC's motto is: "Listen and obey."

The BBC and Disney and so many other "programming channels" --- as in computer programming, entertain you but also contain vast amounts of subliminal messaging that enters your mind at a subconscious level, and which prompts you to believe certain things and not believe others, to do certain things and not do others, and so on.

Whose interest do you think they are serving? Yours or their advertisers? Yours or their own? It really is a no-brainer once you sit down and think about it and observe these media organizations in action.

As for the military, they wish to surveillance and control you to make their job easier, and their job isn't really to protect you; their job as they have defined it, is to control you and farm you like an animal --- a cow, or sheep, for example.

That isn't to say that they wouldn't protect their "interest" in you from some other cattle rustler or renegade sheep herder, like Vladimir Putin, but their motivation for doing so is not what you think and have been led to believe.

You are a valuable commodity, so long as you are a nice, compliant human drone who surrenders all to them and asks nothing in return. This form of surreptitious enslavement has been studied and refined, and now, Bill Gates proposes to use your own brain as a direct transponder for their messaging.

In theory, you will do whatever they tell you to do, because you will think that the voice in your head is coming from you, instead of coming from outside yourself.

That's the theory, and sadly, it might work on a substantial percentage of our population, among people who never learned to separate their experience of "self" from the thoughts raging through their heads.

Still, this sneaky, subliminal, undisclosed, "voluntary", private contracting activity isn't all that intelligent.

It's more like coercive racketeering carried out under color of law, by men and women who don't even know that they've been tricked into promoting crime and are acting as cheap commercial mercenaries for foreign powers.

At the end of the day, it's not intelligent to undermine and steal from your employers. What goes around, comes around.

It's not intelligent to betray your own people.

Just sayin'

Over 300 members of the Canadian military who were "compelled" to get the jab are now suing the Canadian military for $500 million in damages.

We certainly don't blame them. We'd sue for $500 million more.

Just one more word about privacy and about public records, though we have bent over backward and sideways to make this clear ----when you declare, record, and publish your political status, it becomes a public record and enters into public knowledge, as it has to be to have any effect.

Yes, even publishing the fact that you are part of the General Public, and not attached to the Territorial or Municipal Government, is a public act.

This particular public act is intended to protect you and protect your right to privacy and Constitutional Guarantees overall, but it is still important for everyone to realize that when you create a public record, it's public, and the only one who can change a public record that you have created, is you.

Please think about the importance of private information and about maintaining your privacy, about those things that must be public knowledge, and about those things that are your business alone.

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I hate it when a character in the source material, particularly from an animated or comic book one, is clearly drawn to be dark-skinned but when they adapt the source material into a live-action show or movie they somehow make them 3-6 shades lighter for no good reason whatsover? It’s just as bad as racebending, really.

[blissfulparker]

Wipeout⇔ Surfer!Dad!tom

Parings: surfer!dad!tom x surfer!reader

Summary; You and Tom spend your whole relationship in the water. Surfing under the summer sun and competing in summers biggest surf competition. To a surpise, you and Tom take on the biggest challenge nature could throw at you. A baby.

Wc: 9k

Warnings: mentions of insecurities durning pregnancy, fluff

A/n: I know this isn’t a birthday themed fic for Toms b-day but I hope you all enjoy! My little spin on a summer fic with dad!tom 🥰

June.

The summer breeze rose goosebumps to your skin. Your hands coming up to rub your arms as the water was only a bit colder today.

it was summer, the best part of the year when you lived with a beach in your backyard. Spending your whole life surfing you now prepared for the summer tournament that happened only weeks away from now. Surfers, fans, media come in from nearly all over the world just to compete.

To feel a wave under their boards and the adrenaline that rushes through your blood when you finally get on top. The same competition that lead you to Tom, Tom who was now your boyfriend of two years. At first, you laughed at the boy.

Pale, shy—yet so cocky and from London of all places. The most water they got is from the sky. You wanted to laugh with your friends for how confident he was acting, little rain boy wanted to have a chance in the big ocean and he did. To your shock, he scored better than you and scored to be in the top 10. Your laughs stopped after competition and maybe it was the slight momentary enemy thing or it was that deep blue bikini that made him find you after the games and get you out for a drink.

That drink was truly a shared basket of fish and chips as you talked more and more about each other. Pale, rainy London boy ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

“You wiped out twice!” He sits atop his board and your hands rub over your face.

“Maybe because I’m distracted!” You splash water in his direction. His toned abs always tanner during g this year and it was hard for the both of you to control yourself. “I’m just tired, stressed.” You shrugged it off truthfully.

“You fell asleep at 8:00 last night, grandma.” He teased and you rolled your eyes.

“Competition stress.” You point to him and he shrugs. If he’s honest, within the two years he’s known you, two years he’s loved and wondered where you had been all his life, he knew your stress. When you were stressed you oftentimes took long showers or wrote in your journal for hours on end but this time your stress was sleeping early/in late and a few times he’s caught you throwing up. All under the name of stress.

He didn’t push anything though, reminding you that he is there and you could tell him anything. But nonetheless, he left you be and just kissed your cheek and told you everything was okay.

“Race you to shore and whoever gets back inside first gets the leftover chicken from last night!” He starts to swim and you quickly flatten yourself on your board.

“What are we like five?” You call out but still push yourself to go faster. Pushing yourself to race him to shore.

Even though Toms board was definitely double his size, he still beat you into the house, already washed off and reheating the leftovers for lunch. After a morning swim you always had lunch before you went off to work where you would teach little kids how to surf. No matter what, you were always around the water.

“So I was checking the competition list this week, checking to see if there’s anyone new…” he trails off on a story. The two of you share the chicken and fries before you suddenly get a disgusted taste in your mouth. The chicken suddenly becomes sour in your mouth but you force yourself to swallow, Tom notices the change and he stops everything to make sure you’re okay.

“Darling, what is it?” He has a worried look but you shake your head.

“Nothing—it’s nothing. I-I just think this part of my chicken was a bit undercooked and it grossed me out. It’s nothing.” You smiled at him and he waited a second before continuing his story.

But that wasn’t the end of it, the next bite even more sour and this time you drop your fork and open the trash can to spit it out. The spitting then followed by spitting up all of your breakfast and lunch. Tom quickly coming to move any stray hair and rubbing your back as he tried to not throw up himself.

When you were done, he quickly closed the trash can lid and got you into the bathroom where he assembled the toothbrush for you.

“Peaches, I know that you told me not to worry but this is the third time this week.” He folded his arms as he leans against the wall.

“I’m fine.” You say through a mouth filled with toothpaste. Spitting into the sink and rinsing your mouth while also splashing some water over your face. When you look back up, just a bit, your eyes flicker to the untouched box of tampons.

One week late wasn’t so bad, one week late was just some built up stress and every women had been a week or two late before. But before tom can take notice in your distraction, you turn around to him who hands you a towel.

“But you’re not fine.” He argues a bit gently, not wanting to offend you.

“Tom, in school I would throw up during exam seasons all the time. It’s just stress okay? Better than losing hair or breaking out I guess.” You try and joke with him but he doesn’t exactly laugh. Just stares at you worried and you push back a few of his curls.

“Hey, look at me,” you tell him and his eyes meet yours. “I’m fine, seriously! Just a bit of stress and nothing the ocean water and you can’t fix.” You kiss his cheek and he finally smiles.

“Can you go see a doctor? For yourself and if not for yourself then for me, I want you to do good at competition and you know they won’t let you compete if you are sick in anyway.” He rubs up and down your sides and you sigh. Hating the doctors but you agree.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make an appointment but they will just tell me I just have butterflies.” You tell him and that’s when he grows a smirk.

“Aw, babe, I didn’t know after all these years I still gave you butterflies!” He teased and you rolled your eyes playfully nudging your body against him. Both leaving the bathroom, your eyes flicker over to the untouched box to tampons that just taunt you one last time before tom shuts the bathroom door. It was possible, you just didn’t want it to be possible just yet.

-

“I should’ve canceled, I should be there!” Tom speaks through the phone. You sat in an empty, cold doctors office waiting for blood results to get back.

Despite Toms over worrying, everything was fine. They couldn’t find anything physically wrong with you and agreed when you mentioned how it was just anxiety and nerves. Yet they still had to run a blood test to make sure it wasn’t anything they missed and couldn’t see with the naked eye.

Meanwhile tom had to be the most dramatic person out there. You always told him if he was not a surfer he would be an actor. It was impressive how every single night before bed he had a new condition to diagnose you with. Some so severe and outrageous you had to remind him that this wasn’t 1600s England and that you didn’t have the plague. That things were just from stress and if it was a stomach bug then let it run through.

Yet he would rant to you nearly every single night about how he’s always loved you and hated that this was the way to go. Always with that you would smack him with a pillow and tell him to go to sleep and with that he would kiss your cheek and hold you tight as he fell asleep.

“Tom, it’s fine. Seriously! They said they couldn’t find anything wrong, you’d be wasting your time to come here. The most you’d get out of this visit is maybe a sticker. Does Tommy want his girlfriend to bring him back a sticker?” You used a baby voice and you could practically hear him going red.

With a scoff he replies, “Ugh, no. What am I like five?” He pauses for a moment. “But what kind do they have? Were you able to check?” He asked in more of a quiet voice and you laugh.

“No clue. But the nurse told me the best thing I could do is just drink some tea and rest. Maybe they have some spiderman stickers or Sofia the first stickers.” You fiddle with the loose thread on your pants. Ending with a joke to calm both yours and Tom's nerves.

With a smirk, Tom Says, “you’ve been drinking some British tea for awhile—“ he jokes and you quickly cut him off.

“Tom!” You say and as if it was a sign, the nurse comes back in with a clipboard and a gentle smile. “Hey, I’ll call you back, the nurse has my results.”

“Wait! Before you go, ask them to check for tapeworms—“ before he could finish you hung up.

“He’s just dramatic.” You laughed a bit and the nurse laughed along before taking a seat across from you. She clicks her pen which makes you nervous for some reason.

“So your blood came back fine, everything is okay. I just have a few little things such as are you on any birth control?” She asked and you shook your head.

“Oh no, um...haven’t been for a while. But my boyfriend and I use protection and we’re safe. We only used planB once and that was a year ago.” You tell her but she looks up at you. Nodding as she purses her lips.

“Condoms only go so far sweetheart. We just have to ask patients who we find to be with a child incase of any birth control so we can remove it immediately, the birth control, I mean, remove that immediately.” With child. You were with a child. Pregnant. Your heart nearly falls out of your chest and the nurse says a few more things but they don’t register.

“Y-You mean there’s a baby inside of me?” You don’t know what color you look right now but you would assume pale, or green with the feeling of vomiting and this time not from slightly uncooked raw leftover chicken.

“Yup, about one month along it looks! We still will want to run more tests and…” she talks more and more but you don’t listen. Your brain foggy, you don’t know if you’re going to pass out or throw up or shit everywhere from how nervous you were. Hell, even all three seemed like an option as she talked. “So I’ll leave you to tell the important news?” She asked. This was apart of her regular day to day, she probably had hundreds of girls like you come in. Clueless and thinking of a stomach bug and then finding out they are pregnant.

“Y-Yeah.” You try to form a smile.

“Perfect, just meet me up at the desk whenever you’re ready. There’s a bathroom down the hall if you are feeling queasy and of course, help yourself to as many waters in the mini fridge in our waiting room. Congratulations!” She says before she turns out and all you hear is the door click shut. The white noise of the light and the taps of your fingernails against the cool metal bed.

You know it was professional and sweet of her to allow you space to call your significant other but you only stare at Tom's contact. Staring at the word ‘Tommy’ with almost all the heart emojis and his contact pictures of him with the biggest smile.

You have no guts to tell him right in the moment, but rather get off of the paper coated bed and grab your things to leave. Setting up a new appointment with your doctor to see more into the baby. Pregnant, with child, before competition. You and Tom were going to have a faimily.

July.

Tom still hadn’t known the news. It had only been a week but the guilt still ate you alive.

You didn’t want to worry or stress him. You yourself still tried to wrap your brain around it. A baby, every breath you took, every bite of food you ate, every drink you swallowed and every step you took there was a baby you shared it with.

You think about how every time tom had wrapped his arms around your waist this week he gently touched over the baby. Kissing your lying lips, you hated yourself for it.

As for competition, your mind nearly forgot. Still getting in the waters everyday with Tom but this time a bit more cautious. Everytime Tom worried for you, you quickly would cover his worry up with either a joke or kisses.

As for the throwing up, morning sickness was something that came in and out. You started hating the smell of bacon tom cooked in the morning but just waved it off. He noticed your decline in caffeine and beers and wines but you just told him the best athletes only had what’s best for their body before performing.

Tom believed all of it. Every single white lie you told—even though you hated yourself for telling them— believed them.

“How ya feeling?” Toms lips met your forehead as you cuddled up on the couch today. Extra tired and almost positive the baby was screaming at you for rest. You cuddled a bowl of popcorn and a water bottle.

“Mmh, just fine.” You give him a smile as his lips come down to meet yours.

Stealing some popcorn from the bowl, he heads over to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

“I’m thinking we do shrimp tonight?” He looked over and you made a face.

“Ew, no.” You shake your head and he gives a furrowed brow look.

“What? You love shrimp!” He responds and you feel yourself growing hot. Hiding deeper in the Blanket and not wanting to show your face.

“Well, I’m just not in the mood for it tonight.” That was another thing, lots and lots of emotions. Luckily Tom had plenty of emotions to match.

“Okay...tuna?” He offers and you shook your head. “Steak?” Once again and no. “Chicken?” No. “Okay, love, you’ve gotta help me out. I know you’re not feeling well but I’m helpless in here.” He says and your eyes start to water. He notices and immediately comes over.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he comes in front of the couch and crouches down to you. “What’s wrong?” He stroked your cheek and you shook your head.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” You sniffle. “Seriously, I’ll help you. I’m thinking pasta.” You smiled and he did too.

“Yeah that’s not too bad.”

And so you two made and ate dinner completely normally. No tears from you, no sickness from you. Tom only talked about the waves out today and how much you would’ve loved it. Now you two spent time washing up.

“You think that one girl with red hair will be there like last year? She was so annoying.” You laughed as you got excited again for competition. Tom grew tense as you mentioned it. You noticed that. How he didn’t talk much about competition anymore. It went from the only thing you two talked about to now nothing. You knew how excited he was, the both of you were but suddenly it was like that excitement was put in a box to rest.

“Yeah...she was.” He kinda laughed but then just washed harder at the dish.

“Everything okay? You’ve kinda stopped talking about competition.” You put down your plate and that's when he took a deep breath.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” He tells you, pressing his lips into a lying smile that you knew.

“Baby, you can tell me anything you know. I’m always here for—“ and with that, he cut you off and told you the words you hated to hear.

“I-I took you out of the competition,” Tom sighed, dropping the dish rag on the counter in defeat. He watches as your face goes from annoyed to shock. Anger builds behind the eyes he find peace in. “It was wrong me me to do so—“

“damn right it was wrong of you to do so!” You slam your hand on the counter. “W-why would you?”

“You were sick! You were so sick for so long and what was I going to let you do? just make yourself worse—“

“it was the stress! I told you it was the—“

The built up ignored tension between you both finally caused him to snap.

“Is your period being late stress too?” His words caused the room to be silent. You take a sharp breath as you stare at him with anger but not at him anymore, at the fear of your new life.

“I’m just late, it’s normal for a woman like me to be rhis stressed and late...” you trailed off and this time he had the red face.

“Bullshit. What happened at that doctors appointment.” He demanded. You didn’t say a word at first which only angered him more. “Damnit (y/n)—“

“I’m pregnant.” You finally cry out and he knew his thoughts could be true, he knew they had to be but the moment those words left your mouth his whole body froze. He went pale with fear and shock, his hand no longer gripping the counter out of anger but out of support in case he passes out. The tears that left your eyes were uncontrollable as you let out a sob, the first sob that snapped tom back into reality.

He didn’t think twice, his arms supportively wrap around you as he tells you sweet nothings to try and calm you and himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He mumbled into your hair. You swallowed hard as you pulled back, your face wet with tears and you sniffled. His thumbs come up to wipe away each tear and each trace of mascara.

“Because I wanted to be normal still! I wanted to compete, I wanted to surf! I can’t surf anymore tom, i'm going to be a mom and I won’t have time for surfing.” You sob more and he only pulls you back into his grasp.

“I’m so selfish and stupid to even think to compete but I just want to n-not—“ you can’t even spit it out anymore.

“Who said you can’t surf when you’re a mom?” He moved back to hold your face. You didn’t look at him, he wasn’t going to force you to either. This was your decisions right now, he just wanted to listen.

“When you’re a woman and a mother, everything is for your child. You will have time to surf because you’re a dad but no one wants a mom to do anything but take care of their kid and I’ll love this baby so much, I will, but don’t want to lose myself. I’m young, you’re young and you’re about to be the next big thing.” You punch his shoulder playfully trying to lighten things up. “I—i-W-we’ll—“ you start again and he shakes his head.

“Don’t even say it. Sweetheart, you’re having a baby, our baby. I will make sure you still surf, when it’s safe, Of course. I-I don’t even have the words right now, my heart is racing, feel it.” He placed your hand over his chest to feel his pounding heart. “You will be (y/n) Holland, the infamous surfer that beat Tom Holland twice last year and you will be the mother to our kid. Their badass mom.” He cracks a smile as his hand goes to your stomach.

A shared moment where he only touches the stomach as he learns about it. You look at him softly and he looks at you as if you were the entire world. As if he was a little kid at sea world for the first time, he looks at you with beauty and hope and a hint of thankfulness

“For a minute,” you speak again. “I thought you were completely calm about this.” You chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No, I actually think I’m going to throw up.” He held his breath for a moment before he moved to the trash can and emptied his worried stomach.

This time it was you rubbing his back and wiping his mouth. Maybe you wanted to roll your eyes at the Irony but you just knew he loved you.

Holland. He used the last name Holland on you for the first time you’d ever heard it. He said it so confidently as if you two were already married. Holland. You can get use to that.

-

Day of competition

there was this sort of shock in everyone’s face as they watched you walk in shorts and a tee. Joining the crowds of people instead of getting ready for the waves of water.

This year was no wetsuit with your board, slathering sunscreen on your face as you got ready but rather taking a seat in that sand just like everyone else. Carrying a baby no one knew about except you and Tom and a few friends and family.

Your body was warm with nerves, hundreds of cameras here usually captured the sea, interviewing the surfers afterwards. Although it was not like Hollywood, there was no TMZ or dailymail, but there was enough interest and news casters to tilt their heads for why they infamous (y/n) (y/l/n)—soon to be (y/n) Holland—took a seat with the friends and family. Cheering on from the sand.

“Hey.” Z snaps you out of your constant looking around, how your eyes never focused on one thing.

“Ease up a bit, babes, no one even knows.” She knew, you knew you had to explain to her when you were sitting out. Just as Tom explained to his brothers and the two of you both would explain to his mother after competition. For he knew the women would get so excited she would explode

“Right.” Was all you said as you started clapping with the rest of the crowd when the games begun. It would be a moment for them to get to tom, they always let the younger ones go first, you and Tom were in that fine middle where you had to wait just for the middle of the games.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” Z asked with a hint of excitement to her voice. She kept it quite enough to where it was just you.

“I’m okay with either.” You didn’t ever care much for gender, although a girl would be nice to balance out the male testosterone you’re always around. “A girl would be nice though.” You smile at Z.

She gives a smile back, leans back on the towel as she soaks up the sun. “And Tom?” She asked and you shrugged.

He had talked about almost everything but a boy or girl, when you asked if he cared he told you,

“as long as they have two arms, two legs, a torso, a head, comes out of me with no trouble, then it’s a perfect surfing buddy.” You quote him exactly, smiling at his words from a few nights ago.

When he found out, his hands never left your stomach, even though you reminded him the baby was only the size of a grape. That well...it was just a bunch of cells forming up in the moment that couldn’t exactly kick for it had legs the size of your pinky nail. He still waited, he waited and waited, you didn’t even know what he was waiting for at one point for he would pause between his words at the baby or when he asked you a question he looked down at your stomach as if they would reply for you or before you.

“I know hes nervous as hell, but he’s so excited, I know it. The other day Harrison told me he cried when he told him. Tom, crying.” Z laughed a bit and you did too.

“If you think I’m the emotional one...turn on coco or inside out and see what happens to that man.” You chuckled as you turned your head back to the waters to watch tom with a smile on his face blow a kiss in your direction before getting on his board. Paddling out to the sea you watch him get ready to take the first wave, the crowd goes wild and your hand rests over your stomach.

This time, next year, you would sit on these sands with a smaller version of the two of you.

August.

Being early in your pregnancy but far enough to show was not as glamorous as people made it be.

Your shorts no longer fit, shirts started to get loose at the top and tight at the bottom and for the love of heaven you slept so much. Tom liked the idea of endless naps, somedays you wondered if he was the pregnant one instead of you. As he slouched around, ate just as many snacks as you and started to even complain about some of the same things you did.

Maybe it was the impact your moods had on him or the fact he stopped drinking caffeine since you no longer could have it and he didn’t know what his life was before morning coffee was with you. He was almost the same as you were durning the pregnancy.

“What are you doing?” Putting on a bikini for the first time since you told Tom. For the first time in about a month. You didn’t like the fit much anymore, the bloation you constantly had and the extra weight you now carried in your thighs, arms and breasts made you insecure. The top that used to fit perfect now had you grunting to tie. But you had to wear what you had to wear to get you in the water.

“I’m coming with you to the beach.” You say innocently and he shakes his head.

“You’re not picking up a board, you know that. Besides, the waters have been rough lately, there’s that storm coming in and one hard wave can hit you and I don’t want that to happen.” He exaggerates and you look at him with a dead stare.

“Tom, I haven’t touched the water in over a month, I’m pretty sure my skin cells are changing because of it.” You exaggerate as well and he comes up to you.

“Well, I’m not letting you in the water. It’s too dangerous.” He was serious, at first you thought he was just being dramatic, he was still going to let you swim but he was 100% serious.

“Tom, you’re kidding.” You scoff a bit and he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry darling, I know a lot is happening—“ he starts and you move back.

“The doctor said I am healthy enough to be physically active and I—“ before you could finish he cut you off.

“The doctor said you could do some squats, leg workouts, lift a 5lb weight, that was the type of exercise he said. The waters are too dangerous, please don’t argue with me.” He pleads but your emotions get the best of you. Anger starting to build and your body heating up.

Tom had learnt one thing so far; don’t upset the pregnant women and that’s exactly what he did.

“You’re telling me to not argue with you when you are the one holding me hostage in my own home? God, Tom, I have a life still too! A month ago you said you understood what it was going to take and now you’re treating me the way I specifically asked not to! I’m getting in the water, I haven’t been in the water for months it feels like and that’s all I know—“ your rant continues but Tom isn’t looking at you anymore. He’s looking at your side view in the mirror.

Your bump is showing, the bump he swore he could kinda feel but not see was now showing. Almost like it grew overnight.

“Fuck, Tom! Look at me while I’m—“ you start to yell again but he steps closer.

“Look.” He stares at the mirror and comes closer to your bump.

“Oh my…” you see exactly what he’s seeing. The small curve outwards that is your swollen stomach. Your bump.

“May I?” He asked and your mood went from angry to overfilled with happiness. Your eyes starting to tear ss you nodded.

“Tom, it’s your child too, you can touch.” You told him and he did. Your hand even went to your stomach as you rubbed over the bump that was barely forming.

“It’s like it happened overnight.” He laughed a bit and you did too.

“I swear it wasn’t there last night when I got out of the shower. I swear.” You let a few tears fall and he peppers soft kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He gently stroked at the stomach and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry too. I know you just want what’s best for us but I’m just…” you sniffle some more not being able to finish.

“I know baby, I know.” He gets up and wraps his arms around your back. Pulling you in for a hug for you to cry on his chest. So emotional over everything but he was right there. Right there with you.

“We can call the doctor about you surfing, we can call him right now if you want. But I just can’t lose you.” He gives a smile and you nod as your lips meet with his.

“C-can you order the chicken from the place I like?” You finally regain your composure and he nods.

“Of course, anything else?” He looks down at the stomach and you shake your head.

“No, not for now.” You smile down at the small bump forming. “Wait!” You stop him as he’s leaving to grab the phone. He turns to face a guilty looking you, “and mozzarella sticks.” You rub your stomach and he nods. With a faint smile he goes,

“always.” As that was your constant craving. Leaving you in the room for a moment and coming back to see you dressed back ins sweats and a tee shirt, Tom smiled and gladly cuddled up next to you, rubbing and talking to the bump about the future. Maybe you couldn’t surf, but you had Tom right by your side.

December.

Christmas cookies and sweetly salted popcorn occupied your side as you spent a snowy Christmas in London. No beach, no blazing sun even during the day, Tom took you home where you were now five months pregnant.

Heavily showing and to even think you wanted to go surfing months ago was laughable. You hated getting up to shower somedays for it was too much work.

“Darling, Angel, my pretty girl,” Tom sat next to you nervous with his next words. “I know you’re pregnant but there are only so many Christmas cookies.” He told you and you smacked his shoulder.

“Thomas, she’s pregnant! She’s allowed as many cookies as she wants besides there are more in the oven but pregnant women gets first pick as she is carrying my grandchild.” His mom immediately came to your defense. Taking so much good care of you while you were here, Tom doesn’t even think he got this much affection as a sick child.

“I wasn’t saying it’s a bad thing for her to eat cookies, I just want one!” Tom defended himself and you handed him a cookie and you felt your baby kick.

“See? They don't even want you stealing our cookies. I’m eating for two, I’m eating for your baby. You eat a lot by the way! Remember that summer you went through the whole fridge in a week? Yeah, now I’m eating for a tiny version of that! And myself! It’s hard out here for me and what did you do huh? Take two minutes!” You snatched the cookie back from him and rubbed your stomach. His brothers stifled a laugh and Tom grew red in embarrassment.

“I last longer than two minutes.” He says is a mumble.

Rolling your eyes, You rested your head on Toms shoulder and moved his hand over to the kicking stomach. “She says thank you.” You smile as you take a bite from the cookie.

“A she?” His mom perks up and the rest of the family does.

It was a mistake, you and Tom had a battle of the sexes. It seemed as if you didn’t want to know the gender right before your winter holiday. Or really the gender at all. The gender was available for you guys now but you both didn’t see it as a big deal. The baby’s room would be filled with ocean themed toys and a gentle blue wall Anyways. And besides, whatever they decide to be they would make the perfect surfing buddy. Although it was still fun to think of, You thought a girl and Tom swore a boy.

“No, mum, we still don’t know I promise. (Y/n) is just messing around.” He swore and the family relaxed again.

“He’s right, I am just joking. Tom is probably right with his assumption, thinking it may be a boy. With all this moving and eating, just like Tom.” You poke his cheek and Tom again flusters in embarrassment.

“Hey, I have a fast metabolism.” He told you and you kissed his temple.

“I know baby, I’m just teasing you. My man knows how to stay fit and sexy.” You playfully rub his stomach and suddenly the stifled laughs from the boys turn into disgusted noises.

There was everything to indicate a boy, well, mostly just a gut feeling. Tom's mother described her pregnancy with Tom to you and it was nearly the same. A baby boy, you could see that. You would need another fridge and a lot more paper towels assuming the babe will be like Tom and eat yet spill everything. You liked the idea of a boy. Plus, Tom had been playing a stupid game where he asked the baby questions making it kick for an answer. When Tom asked if it was a boy or girl, it kicked the moment he said boy.

The ding of the kitchen timer went off, more cookies fresh out of the oven and Tom was quick to jump up.

“Let me help m’lady up.” He grabs your hands and you grunt as you stand up. You walk with Tom at your side and once you are alone eating more cookies in the kitchen your hand rubs over your stomach as you feel the baby kick in excitement.

“Off the topic of gender, I think they miss the ocean. They kick so much just when I sit in the bath like they are having fun in the water.” You mention water and you feel a kick. They couldn’t understand, but they could hear and a smile rose to yours and Tom's face.

“Then they’re just like their mama.” He leans in and kisses your cheek.

“Who knows, maybe once we get back I’ll get in the—“ before you can finish your sentence about surfing, a sharp kick to your bladder causes you to hunch over with a pained face. Tom worried as he held you panicked but you got back up with a deep breath.

“Nevermind, little one didn’t like that idea.” You hold onto his arms tightly.

“Everything okay? Just a bladder kick?” He panicked and you just nodded.

“Yup.” Your face scrunches up again. “Just the bladder.” You suddenly have the urge to pee. “Now shoo, I’ve got to pee.” You tell him and he looks at you in confusion.

“You just peed like—“ you give him a look making him think about how he’s finishing his sentence. “Right, my darling.” He moved out of your way to let you go. Snatching one more cookie from the tray, he smiled as he thought how next year at this exact time, you would be holding a little baby.

April.

One week. You were one week late and as any normal pregnant woman would be resting in bed and rubbing over her swollen belly and anticipating the child’s arrival. Although that was not what you were doing.

Against Tom's wishes, you went back to work to see the kids start up their surfing lessons. Although there would be no swimming for you, no waves for you just yet, seeing the kids happy to be there was something that sparked joy to your heart always. Helped ease your nerves and turn them into excitement.

“Mrs. (Y/l/n)-Holland, look what I learnt how to do!” One of the kids calls out. You had a smile for not only did they call you by both yours and Tom's name, but that they had always been excited to show you new things.

“That was amazing Ryder!” You clapped at the boy who did a handstand. He had a big smile with teeth missing. Your hand went over your stomach again, an aching pain that was noting but a false labor.

The doctor said it was fine. Women always experienced this right before birth and just take a deep breath but don’t waste your time rushing to the hospital just for them to send you home.

It was normal to be late and that you had a stressful year so it was okay. The doctor mentioned that you still felt contractions which meant you were close. But when it was Tom, every slight indicator of pain you felt meant a freak out where he rushed around the house to get the baby bag and try and get you in the car when in reality, you just had to pee. 

“T-That’s really cool.” You wince and the boys face goes from excitement to worry. Within the luck, Tom comes jogging from the parking lot with lunch for the two of you. Hoping to get in the water with the kids and keep an eye on you.

“Hey Angel.” He kissed your cheek but noticed your pain. “Everything okay?” He panicked and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, Ryder here was just showing me how he can do a handstand now—“ you can’t even finish as the pain was strong.

“(Y/n)?” Tom needed to be calm, your face scrunched up as you held your swollen stomach. “Darling, Angel, pretty girl, look at me.” He used all the pet names you liked and you looked up at him with worry in your eyes. “I think it’s time for us to meet the little one.” He nods with a trying smile and you feel an even sharper pain.

“Mmh, I can’t do this.” You breath heavily as you hold onto the stomach. “Yes you can, if you can surf a wave that is 12 feet with no wipeout then you can birth our baby.” He promised and also got the little boy who was so excited to show you his new moves a moment ago to run and get another adult.

“Tom, I-I can’t.” You felt yourself tearing up and he shakes his head. Your heart pounding and mind swarming with worried.

“You can, you will. You are the strongest women I—“ before he can start his motivational speech you cry out in pain.

“Get me in the goddamn car!” You cry and he nods and gets you up before anything worse. He rushes to the hospital as quick as he can, holding your hand and trying to not crash as you hold your stomach and scream.

When he gets to the hospital, he’s still in a wetsuit. They take immediate action into getting you into a room where you are laying with your legs up waiting for a doctor. Holding Tom's hand as you cry.

“Uh sir?” The doctor walks in and looks at the man in the wetsuit. “We’re going to have to ask you to put on scrubs...helps prevent any ourside clothing germs getting on the baby...are you wearing anything under that?” She asked and he immediately started unzipping.

“Jesus tom, not here, she wants you to get changed in the bathroom.” You shake your head as you run your hands over your face. In pain but want to laugh at your worried boyfriend for how he was acting in the moment.

“Right! Right!” He quickly changes from the wetsuit into the scrubs. The doctors look at him funny but let it go as you’re clearly in pain and needing the baby to be out.

“You got this love, you’re doing so good—“ he starts again but you don’t even want to hear it.

“was this really worth two minutes! I’m getting my fucking tubes tied!” You scream at him and he flushes a deep shade of red as one of the nurses giggles.

After one more big push you heard the sound of a cry filled the room. For just a second, all the pain you felt went away as you see the body of your baby, baby boy. You both were right, a beautiful little boy.

“A boy.” Tom breathes out in awe.

“Dad you wanna come cut the cord?” He looked at you for approval and you nodded. He cut the cord with shaky hands, couldn’t focus for the life of him as he just stared at the boy. You only got to hold him for a second before he’s taken off to a bath. Tom following them before they bring him back in a bundle of blankets.

“Oh my…” you hold the beautiful boy. His little lips open just a bit to make a sound while his eyes flutter to adjust to the light. “Look at him tom.” You feel yourself cry and Tom does too.

“Wow, look at you.” He touched the boy's cheek who immediately tried to take the finger into his mouth. “You did that.” He tells you as the two of you admire it.

“We did that.” You tell him and he smiles a bit. “Although yeah, it was mostly me.” The boy stares hard at Tom, Tom who was still in just swim trunks and scrubs.

“Hey, I ate a lot with you during this pregnancy. Even had my own morning sickness.” He teased and you only laughed.

The room going silent for a moment. Hearing the little cooes of your boy as you held him. Toms finger tracing over his cheek when you finally spoke, “Caspian.”

Tom had mentioned how he liked the name for a boy, more than once. It had connections to the water and to Europe so the child would have a bit of both. You had to admit to yourself that you liked it but just wanted to stick with a more casual name. But looking at how he looked at you the moment you said that name, you knew it was the one.

“Caspian?” He repeated and you nodded.

“Caspian Holland.” You told.

He smiled as he kissed your forehead. “Holland? Just that?” He asked as well and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah just like that.” You smiled. A perfect moment in the perfect situation was interrupted by a small nurse who held a tee shirt.

“Uh sir?” The nurse looked at the two of you and both of your attentions were caught. “So unfortunately we have to ask you to wear a shirt, we got one from the lost and found for you hoping that it would fit.” The shirt read “I’m not as fun as mom” and Tom's face dropped. A proud smirk rises to your face as you look at Tom who’s flared his nostrils just a bit to show his embarrassment.

“Yeah Tom, put on the shirt.” You encouraged and he looked at you. His eyes telling you that you’re going to regret that but you can’t wait 15 years into the future to tell your son.

Sighing as he took the shirt from the poor nurse and sat back down on the chair in a huff.

“You’re never letting me live this one down are you?” Shaking your head you look back down at the boy,

“no, I don’t think we will.” You brought your dry cracked lips down to the boys forehead, you had no water within the past hour and screaming with crying seemed to make you as dead as possible. “Caspian. Caspian Holland.” He whispers again. “Thank you.” He looked at you and you furrowed your brows.

“For everything.” After months of no surfing, months of pain and aches, instead of saying anything back you looked at him and said

“sushi.” Was all you said and he furrowed his brows.

“W-what?” He questioned.

“I need sushi, please.” You sigh and he smiled. Months of being unable to eat any fish that was all you wanted in the moment.

“One California roll coming up.” He kissed your cheek and then the boy's cheek. Calling in the nurse, sending for a California roll and tuna.

Caspian was sleeping soundly in Tom's arms while you ate and rested. Everything was worth it, from the moment he stepped on a plane one summer to Hawaii he knew it was worth it for he found a family in the end.

June.

Once again the sand was squishing under your toes. Feeling each and every grain as you held your baby boy tightly bundled in blankets against your chest as you walked out to the beach. He was freshly bathed, you and Tom took turns. You were so eager the moment you were cleared to get back in the water after birth that the day the doctor cleared you for physical activity, you did it.

But tonight wasn’t you getting in the water, it was you greeting Tom and telling him to come back inside.

“Dinner is done.” You call out to him as he jogs back to the two of you. The baby boy cooing as he sees the ocean and his fathers dripping wet figure coming towards them.

“Hey, look who’s out.” He immediately leans in and kisses all over the pretty baby boy's face. “My sweet boy is so fresh and clean.”

You and Tom had argued about who he had looked more like,You or Tom. he had Tom's nose for sure and his big brown eyes that you knew were going to be trouble. If you had a hard time saying no to Tom when he batted his lashes and gave a glossy look, it was going to be impossible to say no to your beautiful boy.

“He just took a bath. But it wasn’t the ocean.” You smiled and Tom pressed a kiss to your face too.

“Mmh, did you?” He looks at the boy who was yawning in his mother’s arms. “Want to swim a bit?” He asked and you shook your head.

After birth, Tom did a lot of the work. He loved it too. He claimed you needed rest, in which you did, but you would often find him just sitting in the nursery staring at the baby boy. Telling him stories to sleep and kissing his face. He would let you surf, bathe, sleep, all while he took care of your beloved boy.

“No, I’m so tired I think if I use my legs any longer they will snap.” You give a pout and Tom immediately kisses it away.

Tom started to gather his stuff, the beach towel and the bag he normally carried and the moment he started to pack up your baby boy let out a wail.

Within the two months of his birth, you were able to identify each cry. When he was hungry it was more of a gurgle, when he was sleepy it was more strained and forced, when he craved touch it was a whimper sounding cry and then there was this. He was simply upset something did not go his way. May you or Tom stepped away for a moment, the bottle gone too early, but now it was his father packing up his stuff that makes him scream a cry that makes heads turn.

“What’s the matter bubs?” Tom pouts as he sets the stuff down and comes over to him.

Once the stuff is set down the cries settle just a bit, settle enough until tom takes him out of your arms and presses him up against his body.

Still wet from the surf, you both think the baby liked it. While Tom occupied little Caspian, you picked up the towels and his bag for him and once again the boy let out a wail cry which made you and Tom furrow your brows.

“I-I don’t know what it is. I-I changed him and I bathed him and he was perfectly fine and—“ you start to panic and as you panic you drop the stuff which calms his cries. Tom immediately took notice and grew a smile that made his heart flutter in his chest.

“(Y/n),” he stops you and you look up at him with a worried look as if you’ve done something wrong. “He wants to stay. He wants to stay on the beach.” Tom says in a calm voice and the boy was now only cooing in Tom's arms. He bounced gently but mostly cooed as his daddy smiled at him.

“H-He knows we’re leaving the beach.” You sigh and come over to the boys. Petting your sons head as he relaxes in his fathers arms.

“Like I’ve always said, just like his mama.” Tom smiled up at you and you caught his lips for a kiss. “Well…” you rub your hands on your thigh, wiping off the sand you got stuck all over your hands. “Since Caspian always gets his way, I better bring dinner out here.” You smile as you poke at the sweet boys face and Tom moves and has a serious face.

“(Y/n), no, you can’t just whip out your boob in front of—OW! I’m kidding!” You smacked his arm for the stupid comment he made that at first had you worried.

“I hate you. I’m bringing out the dinner.” You start to walk off and he smiles.

“You love us!” He shouts back.

“Just Caspian! You? Not much you. remember...you’re not as fun as mom!” You call out to him, sending him a wink and he wants to say something back but he holds his tounge.

Looking down at the baby boy he says, “when I teach you how to surf I need you to beat mums ass a few times while you’re out there. Just for her little comments.” Tom spoke to the boy and he cooes. “Atta boy.” With that he plots down on the sand towel.

Setting caspian down on the towel for just a moment so he can strip from his wetsuit and be closer to him. You come back out balancing the plates of food for you and Tom as you seat next to them and eat. Leaning your head on Toms shoulder and kissing at it.

You never knew that one competition, one amateur British boy and one shared basket of fish and chips could lead you to the best moments of your life. Could lead you to the best family you’ve ever had.

Please leave feedback! It helps me grow as a writer and lets me know what more you want to see!

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[beomcoups]

I’m Sorry

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: idol!Jaehyun (NCT) x femme reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, smut, fluff, loves to exes au, idol au

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: R(18+)

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: heavy emotions, small drinking, kissing, fingering, oral (f.receiving), missionary, Jaehyun hits it from the back, choking, nipple play, slight nail digging into skin. 

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.5k

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It’s been months since you and Jaehyun have broken up and you thought you would be okay, until he asked you to come over. 

You know you shouldn’t be here, standing outside his door. You two are no good to each other, you fight more than you make up, and you’ve both been hurt so many times; yet, when he called, you came running. 

 You’ve been broken up with Jaehyun for months, your last fight so brutal that you vowed to never see each other again. It worked for a while, distracting yourself with work and blocking him from all social media. You felt strong and confident that you could get through this and that you can move on from him. But then you saw him on your friend’s Facebook page at dinner, his handsome dimpled face catching you off guard as you watched your mutual friend celebrate their birthday. It angered you, seeing him happy and without a carefree in the world while you had to pull yourself together and go through life without him. 

Yet, as mad as you were, the happy memories you two shared flooded your mind, and your heart sank from the loneliness you had to bear and the feelings you have from missing him. When you think of Jaehyun, you get emotional, almost sick even; the love you have for him is greater than anything you experienced. He wasn’t your first love, your first kiss or your first sexual experience, but meeting him on that sunny afternoon on the beach changed your life. He understood your fears and your innermost thoughts and had a way of speaking that calmed your restless soul. Jaehyun has a wicked sense of humor and a kindness that melted your heart beyond words. He took you on spontaneous dates and would buy you flowers because he knew you loved them. His impeccable features and his sex drive were only pluses in the relationship that made you feel like he was the one; that you could be with him forever. 

But his duties as an idol started to keep him away, and you knew that being with him came with that risk. You thought you could handle it, not being able to see him for weeks at a time and sometimes months if he was out of the country. The facetime and skype calls lasted for a while until those slowly started to fade, and you were staring at your phone at night, wondering when he would call. It didn’t help see him on tv, flirting with other women and showing off his charms that made you fall in love with him. You saw red when you saw him escort that famous actress to their premiere with his hand on her back. You have never been the jealous type, but seeing the man you love and have not seen in weeks with someone else set you ablaze. You pleaded with Jaehyun to carve out some time for you, even if it was just for an hour, but he always claimed he was too tired or busy. So you got fed up, marched over to his dorm unannounced and gave him a piece of your mind. He called you selfish and insecure, and that hurt you to the core. You screamed at him, throwing the promise ring he bought for you at his chest and broke up with him. You stormed out of the dorm, the members pretending that they didn’t hear anything, but you knew deep in your heart that they heard it all, and it just added more to your embarrassment. 

As the months went by, you thought about that night often, what you could have done differently and if you would still take him back. So many nights, you held your phone in your hand, wanting to dial his number and make it alright. You hate him for letting you leave, but you love him just as much, so when he asked you to come over, it was a no brainer. So with a bit of liquid courage, you made your way to him, holding your breath all the way. 

𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧’𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

Seeing Y/N again after all these months was like a breath of fresh air. She walked into Jaehyun’s room, beautiful as ever, her hair down in all its shiny glory, her skin glowing like the yellow orb in the sky. She is wearing that oversized sweater he bought her when he came back from tour, with shorts that show off those legs he loved to be in between. She smiled at him as she came in, but behind those beautiful eyes held a sadness he knew because of him, and he would do anything to take it away. Jaehyun is hopelessly in love with her, and there is no him without her. Y/N keeps him sane and anchored when he feels like he is going out of control. She understands him better than anyone and takes care of him, nurturing him with her sweet words and kind actions. Jaehyun’s never been able to convey how much she truly means to him, and he regrets letting her go. Seeing her in front of him brings colors into his gray world, and he needs her. 

“So,” she stands there, twiddling her fingers as she sits down on the bed. “How have you been?”

He rakes his fingers through his hair, unsure how he should answer. Jaehyun wants to be honest with Y/N and kiss her beautiful face, but his pride will not let him. Instead, he leans back against his desk and folds his arms, trying to keep his cool demeanor. 

“I’ve been okay, I suppose,” he clears his throat. 

There is awkward dead silence, and he would be a liar if he said his heart wasn’t jumping out of his chest. He’s never been good with expressing his feelings, and it took a lot of courage and convincing from his members to give Y/N a call.

“You know you miss her, man,” his member Johnny voice rings through his head. “Just call her. The worst thing she can say is to fuck off or not respond at all.”

“So what have you been up to?” Jaehyun questioned, attempting to break the ice. 

“Nothing really,” she sighs. “Just work work work.”

The deafening silence comes back, and Jaehyun is panicking, unsure what to say next. He doesn’t want to push things too fast and scare her away but damn it, he wants to be with her. 

“What am I doing here, Jaehyun?” Y/N  interrogates him, catching him off guard. “If you called me here for small talk, we could have done this over the phone.”

“I didn’t invite you here for small talk,” Jaehyun swore, his eyes pleading with her. 

“So why am I here-”

“I miss you,” he blurts out, his voice echoing in the walls. “I fucking miss you, and I want you back.”

Her eyes widen, shocked at Jaehyun’s revelation, and he continues to confess how he feels. 

“I was a fucking idiot for letting you walk out that door,” he laments, taking a seat in his chair. “At the time, when we were fighting, I felt like I was suffocating. I had comeback schedules and movie premieres to go to, and I didn’t want to let you down, but I felt like I was being pulled in different directions from everyone. So when you yelled at me, I got frustrated and lashed out at you instead of listening. I’m sorry about that.”

Watching Y/N’s eyes well up with tears broke his heart, and he wanted to kiss her pain away and make her whole again. Jaehyun yearned for her, and he was not letting her go again. 

“You called me selfish and insecure,” Y/N sniffled, wiping her tears with her sweater. “That really hurt me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun gets up and softly grabs her hand, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was feeling like you were not hearing me and you yelling at me made me feel like I was backed into a corner.”

“So you couldn’t handle me expressing how I feel?” Y/N criticized him, taking her hand away from him. “You were barely talking to me, and to see you on tv and flirting with these women, it made me snap.”

“So that made it okay for you to barge into the dorm at 1am and scream at me?!” Jaehyun rebutted, staring deep into her eyes. “You embarrassed me and wouldn’t let me get a word in. You called me a coward and accused me of cheating on you. God Y/N, I would never do that to you. I love you and respect you too much to lose your trust like that.”

Y/N looks down, twiddling her fingers once more, tears falling down her cheeks. He moves closer to her, wiping more tears from her eyes and lifting up her chin.

“Do you still love me?”

Y/N looks at him, her eyes already telling it all before she could answer. 

“Yes, Jae, I love you,” she confesses. “I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried.”

Jaehyun’s heart flutters at her soft words, and a wave of relief washes over him. It felt good to hear that she still loved him after all these months have passed, and caught up in the moment, he kisses her deeply. 

“I’m sorry, he apologizes, giving her space. “I should have asked if that was okay.”

“It’s okay,” she says softly, gazing at him lovingly. “Kiss me again.”

(𝐘/𝐍’𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕)

Jaehyun kisses you, and it feels like home, like you finally found the missing piece to your puzzle of your soul. You give into him completely, sliding your hands underneath his shirt, feeling his toned abs before taking off his shirt. You pause to gauge his response, and he smiles, whispering that he loves you and that he’s sorry. You nod and kiss him again, allowing his hands to roam around your ass before giving it a tight squeeze.

“I missed you,” he breathes in between kisses. 

“Did you?” you tease him, fumbling with the button on your shorts.

He undoes the button for you and slides your jean shorts off for you, laying you down on the bed as he climbs on top of you. He holds back for a moment, admiring your beauty before continuing his onslaught of kisses, trailing down to your neck. His cool hands slide up your sweater, unhooking the front of your bra and softly rubbing your mounds. You bite your lip in an attempt to hold back your moans, the electricity sparking from each touch.

“I’m never going to hurt you again,” he promises, lifting up your sweater and revealing your breasts. 

He cups them and puts them in his mouth, sucking on each nipple tentatively and with such care. Your center is dripping, and you slide your hands down to your panties, softly rubbing yourself. He takes notice of your action and trails his kisses down your stomach, nipping you lightly until his face is in between your legs. He pulls your panties to the side, taking a long swipe of your sweet nectar before diving in. 

“ Oh my god,” you moan, taking a fistful of his hair.

He ravages you, lavishing his tongue at your entrance and sucking on your clit, his nail dug dip into your hip. Your moans get increasingly louder, and he slides two fingers in you, your walls already convulsing around him. 

“You gotta be quiet for me, baby, okay?” Jaehyun whispers, slowly thrusting in and out of you. “I don’t want everyone to hear us.”

You nod feverishly, covering your mouth as you fall into a euphoric state, being finger fucked by the love of your life. He returns his mouth to your clit, your legs buckling on impact, your hand pulling his hair tighter. You create a rhythm on his tongue, slow fucking his face until you feel yourself reaching your breaking point. 

“Baby…” you moan, your stomach coiling. “I’m almost here.”

He suddenly removes his fingers out of you, shoving down his grey sweats and revealing his hard dick, eager to be inside of you. He lifts your leg up and slams into you, making you yelp from impact. 

“It’s been way too long,” he groans, slow stroking your tight cunt. 

Jaehyun allows you to get used to his size before increasing his pace, the lust in his eyes evident. Your hunger for him in insatiable, begging him to fuck you harder, not caring about the bed hitting the wall loud enough to wake everyone up. You lifted up your shirt and pinched your nipples, slapping them because you knew he liked that, and you like the slight pain from it. 

“You are so sexy,” his breathless praise of you makes you hotter and want more of him.

He slides his hand on your throat, holding a firm grip as he continues to plunge deep inside of you. You try your best to cover your moans with your hand, but then your stomach coils, signaling your release. You tap his shoulder feverishly, and he pulls out and flips you over, taking you from behind.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he growls, slamming into you with such force you almost fall off the bed. 

Jaehyun grips your hair tightly, skin slapping filling the walls in the room, and he fucks you into the mattress, releasing his feelings from missing you all into this moment. He tells you he loves you over and over, and you believe him, not wanting this moment to end. You grip the sheets tightly, warning him of the upcoming rapture that was ripping through you. 

“Go ahead, baby,” he encourages you. “Cum for me.”

You scream his name in the sheets, your orgasm rushing through and all over him, your insides convulsing on his dick. He shudders and pulls out shortly after, emptying himself on your ass and giving it a small smack. You collapse on the bed, your legs sore and shaking, unable to move. 

“That was…” you start to say.

“Amazing,” Jaehyun finishes your sentence, leaning over and kissing your sweaty forehead. 

You both laugh in unison, and you slowly sit up, admiring the physique of the man you love. 

“Hey Jae,” you call him softly, holding your hand out for him to take. “I don’t want to fight like that and be away from you that long ever again.”

He nods and smiles, giving you a deep kiss before pulling you into a hug. 

“Me neither, baby,” he agrees. “These months without you have been hard. I felt like a piece of me was missing.”

You gaze up at him lovingly, placing a small kiss on his lips.

“It’s about time you two made up,” Johnny’s voice comes through the door. “He’s been miserable without you.”

Jaehyun sucks his teeth and throws a pillow at the door, his face red with embarrassment. 

“It’s okay,” you giggle. “I’m not going anywhere.”

[silverrstarrr]

Headcanons of Eren with a Black s/o!🍡

(Happy black history month babes! Remember blm isn't just in this month but all year long :p)

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

• You guys most likely met in your high school years.

• I feel as if Eren would stare a lot at you during freshman year. Not in a bad way but in a Curious/adoring way. I mean all his friends are white lmao💀

• He probably approached you during a class period you guys have together.

• I don't think he would be ignorant? But he'll most likely ask to touch your hair.

• Maybe you have braids, locs, or passion twist or your natural curls out/4c Afro—doesn't matter, he'll ask to touch your hair.

• Of course you can decline and tell him no, he won't really fuss over it. He'll even apologize.

• But trust me, he's going to keep staring 😭 he thinks you're really pretty, don't worry ;)

• He won't care about your Skintone/shade, lightskin, brownskin, dark-skinned. He likes them all, I don't see Eren ever have a preference in girls in general.

• Whoever he likes, he likes.

• You guys hit it off in your freshman year.

• He'll ask a lot of questions about you and your culture and your hair

"Hey, why do you wear braids??"

"Is your hair really this long? Wow 😁"

• PLEASE LMAO, I TAKE THESE AS AN INSULT BUT I KNOW HE'S JUST HE CURIOUS 😭

• You'll have to explain to him about your hair.

• You guys most likely snapped and he sent a streak of him getting out the shower and his hair is wet.

• You'll go on about how you can't wash your hair everyday, that you have a certain wash day and his reaction is like "😲"

• Poor baby is like "woooow" and ever since then, he's been hook up to learn about your lifestyle, your family, cookouts, etc. He just wants to know you.

• He calls you pretty a lot.

• Not in a flirtatious way just because he thinks YOURE really pretttyyyy. He's just stating the obvious queen🙄❗

• He offered to go to the Beauty supply store once or twice to buy your weave/pick out the next color. Or he'll just accompany you.

• Also would pick out your next nail color, maybe hairstyle.

• He doesn't care if you wear lakefront, wigs, braids, or natural. He believes they're all beautiful. Plus he understands that our hair need protective hairstyles and can't really, yjehehejehwhww iykyk.

• During BHM, he would do the mossstt.😭

• He'll buy you food and buy you hairproducts.

• He'll constantly post about African American stories on his social media.

• Talked Armin into making a poem about discrimination and racism then made him read out loud to you in the hallway😭

• Would buy a BLM shirts for him Mikasa and Armin.

"Look y/n! We're supporting your people. Remember we're on your side. BLM!!"

• IM CRACKLING TOO MUCH LMAOOOO.

• Don't worry, he's has the right attitude but mann💀

• Depends on the type of person you are: you probably confronted them and told them to relax. Or, you dealt with it and the embarrassment 😭

• You most likely ask him for Reparations 🙄❗🤞

• He deadass would give you them.

• He'll be confused at first and probably wouldn't  even understand the word 💀

• But he'll give you money though LMAO.

This was 15 year old Eren, moving on to when he's older.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

• You guys are older. You've been introduced to the rest of his friend squad. Jean, Connie, Marco, sasha etc.

• Jean most definitely thinks you're pretty and fell for you at first sight. Eren didn't like this at all.

• Eren never really understood why he didn't like it when Jean played in your braids. Eren then started to purposely make you lay between his legs so he play with your braids before Jean could.

• They probably reacted the same as Eren about regarding your hair.

• Eren would take it upon himself to explain and even tell them about Lace fronts, sew ins, braids, etc

• He'll probably show off about  how much he knows about your hair.

• Eren would ask to help you with your hair.

• He most likely looked up YouTube videos about how to plate hair or how to deal with your hair type in general.

• You could probably teach him. He wouldn't understand the first time but with practice, he's pretty good. Not better than you though 🙄🤞❗

• Carries Hair ties, brushes and combs on him just for you.

• You also carry hair ties for him because of his long hair.

• You're the person who even puts his hair into that sexy ahh man bun🤨❗

• Most likely help you on wash day. Massages oil into your scalp.

• Supplies you with hairproducts.

• Likes it when you play in his hair. During PE, you guys would sit on the bench. Him between your thighs relaxing as you caress his hair.

• You guys look so cute and perfect while doing this. Connie and Sasha would always tease you about being Eren's gf.

• Loves your food! Like literally, he's in love with it.

• During the summertime, you invited him to a cookout. A lot of your family members stared at him but you know, they're accepting and gave him some food, chatted him with etc.

• Ever since then, he would always ask your mom to come over for dinner or save him a Plate lmao😭

• Sometimes if you were to cook, he'll be in the kitchen watching you

"Why are you watching me?"

"I wanna watch you so I can learn to cook your food and surprise you one day with it."

"Suurree but you can't out-cook me."

• He'll then smirk and accept that challenge.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

Sorry I just realized I've only been talking about yall friendly part, lemme get into more intimacy 🥲

• He always have his hands on your hips, waist or ass.

• Maybe you're cuddling in the library or something, his hands are on your ass.

• Black women naturally have curvy bodies In my opinion. And curvy can mean thick, skinny or in the middle. They're still curves.

• He loves kissing your lips. Either that or your neck.

• When you're walking together he always have his hand around your waist.

• Eren seems like the type to hug you from behind and kiss the top of your head.

• I dont think he's big on PDA but that doesn't mean he won't do it.

• You're talking to Jean? Wraps his arms around your waist from behind and places his head on your shoulder- kissing your neck.

• If you so happen to have thay dump trunk in the back, he'll always caress it, give it a pat or smack it. But in the most sly way ever.

You're in the hallway, chatting up with Jean. You guys are discussing the topics of what was recently covered in class. Jean cracks a joke about how the teacher was talking and their looks. You laugh at the small insults he was throwing at your professor. Eren recently just left his class a few doors down from where you and Jean was. He notices your long box braids from down the hall and sees a tall male walking alongside with you. Eren quickly caught up with you guys. As he walked passed you, his hands slides over and grabs a good squeeze from your ass. Naturally you wouldn't mind but for some reason you got embarrassed and flustered. Most likely it was because Jean was there. Before you could respond  and complain to him, he leans over and places his lips against yours. Obviously, you kiss him back as his free hand grabs your chin, deepening the kiss. It was passionate. The kiss was probably to make up for his sudden actions but it was also because he missed your presence and touch. The way your lips felt against his own, his hands grasping and holding your hips rolled, everything. Jean rolled his eyes,

"Okay lovebirds, I get it." You break away from Eren with a small smile. You turn towards  Jean with an apologetic look, since he did just kiss you in the middle of a conversation.

Jean nodded and said his goodbyes, he'll catch up with you another. Watching as his figured faded within the crowd, you turn towards Eren and smack his arm. He let out an "ow" in response.

"Eren, what was that for? I usually don't mind it but we were chatting."

He lets out a soft groan and buries his head into your neck. He released the grip on your rear and just lays it there as his other hand slips down and does the same. You tap his back and he raises his head from it's previous position. You give him a few quick pecks, wrapping your arms around his neck, he quickly to returns the small kissed back. You both smile at one another, letting out a small giggle.

"Its okay baby, I miss you too." You peck his cheek for the last time.

"We can walk home together after school, meet me at my last period class." 

Eren face brightens up when you say those words. Mann, this boy was in love. The bell rang and you notice all the kids scrambling to get to class. He releases his arms from you and grabs your hand as you both scurry along to your next period class.

He drops you off and waves at Armin and Marco that happens to be in your last period.

"Remember your promise y/n!!" He said as he walked off to the direction of his class.

You rolled your eyes jokingly and settled in to class.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

Okay bonus:

I feel as if Eren would talk you into making those tik toks that beautiful darkskin/brownskin woman do with makeup and their cute ass hair. Of course you'll end up doing it because he kept hyping yo ass up and wouldn't let it down.

The video actually goes viral and gets a decent 345k likes with 1.1m views. Some of the kids in school  came across the video and started chatting up with you. Even some guys you never knew before started to hit you up but Eren gets so Jealous and has you hold his hands always in the halls 😭

Okay thank you loves! Please request/suggest things for him. I don't mind doing one of these for Jean, Connie, etc. Next up are my jjk men 🤨❗

[flodaya]

I hate when we start playing oppression olympics within the queer community, yes it’s amazing that skamfr has a trans man in a happy relationship with a cis woman, doesn’t mean the writers are exempt from criticism for breaking up their currently only queer/wlw couple on the entrie show?

plus notice how even then, basically all queer characters are white? lucas, elliot, alexia, lola, max.. maya is the only queer character of color (june doesn't count, she's not a prominent character)

not only they broke up the only relationship between two women, but the only queer interracial relationship of the show, and maya, the first queer main of color, ended up alone.

it was horrible and i am a white sapphic, i can't imagine how it was for many sapphics of color.

like truly, it's good that max, a trans man, is in a fulfilling relationship with a cis woman who loves and supports him, but that doesn't mean the show is good queer rep!!??

wtfock has queer rep, and i don't think i need to explain my point more.

plus even then, don't they see the favoritism? can't they see that they choose anais, a skinny white cishet girl, over max, a potential trans main?

he would have been the second trans main of the skamverse and the second of the new gen. and we would have seen his transness from his own point, not tiff's. (a cis woman)

by breaking mayla up and giving the season to anais instead of choosing redouane or max, they proved once again that they don't care about diversity and that queer rep/rep of color.

also, quite respectfully, not everything is about them.

this was about sapphics and i don't want to hear non sapphics opinions on it, i don't want to say if it was lesbiphobic (is that the term? ) or not.

even sapphics like shirley can be lesbiphobic so imagine how non sapphics are.

EXACTLY!! i haven't even finished watching the season but i have so many thoughts about shirley and deborah's reaction and the season/skamfr as a whole

i see her excuse of "equality is if we treat all couples the same" and all i can think of is that picture about equality of every human being getting the same bike but a small child needs a different bike than an adult man, and a physically disabled person needs a different bike than a able-bodied woman, and so on, achieving equality isn't achieved by giving every single person the same set of tools because some people have a disadvantage and need a stepping stone

so saying breaking up your only wlw couple and giving your only wlwoc a bitter-sweet ending when every other main got to ride happily into the sunset is a step in the right direction of equality just seems so ignorant when 1) all your het couples are still dating, so if we treat them all the same why is the only one that's broken up sapphic? and 2) there is a definite lack of wlw couples in todays media, this just proves shirley's own ignorance on the topic of wlw/queer representation which is a shame since she is part of our community and had a chance to give us positive representation instead of what lesbians always get which is either ambiguous endings or tragedy

my parasocial relationship with paulina and the rest of the druck s6 writers is still going strong because i feel like we all (and especially twt stans) owe them an apology, like y'all don't appreciate good wlw rep when you get it, a whole season focused on a loving and healthy relationship between two wlwoc, what season will ever compare

[0aurelion-sol0]

Yo~

What's your opinion on the Will Byers DID theory? If you like it, which version do you like better? Both interpretations seem cool to me, though I personally like strangertheory's version better ^.^

Hi!

That's a very interesting question. I want to start by saying that I am a singlet, so I don't have DiD or OSDD. My knowledge of this condition is primarly known through medias I consume or some more "advanced" psychiatric documents or researches.

DiD is a condition that hasn't been always best represented or accurately represented since this condition varies from people who have it and so while there are similarities, the experience of it is very much unique and personal. It is also something that in a fictional setting with different genres, themes and tones is very hard to pull off or represent unless you go for the very realistic take on it.

It is bound to be, like many other things in fiction, dramatized. And speaking from a singlet perspective, who also had particular problems represented in fiction, I think it's okay as long as it's done right, in the setting, tone and genre it is in.

For example, we have today a lot more LGBTQ+ representation and like everything, unless you go for the fully realistic route, it's going to be simplified and dramatized. There's so many gender identities and sexual orientations today, you have to simplify it. And that goes for many other things that people care about in media, it has to be done right, but the writers still have a story to tell and unless that subject is the focus of the story, they're not gonna always spend their time talking about that. There is a story to tell.

Secondly, if it is the main focus of the story, that is where people have to do their research and really represent what they are talking about. Not some half-baked representation with dull arguments and points that come from a capitalist and conservative worldview. (Looking at you Disney.)

Now what you are referencing are @strangertheory 's and @kaypeace21 's theories which are about the show being about a DiD system where we see different alters evolving in said story with the host being Will Byers.

There is a lot of evidence pointing towards it, I'm gonna let you go see their posts and read it.

But their theories are very different in the way that they see the show portraying DiD, I have actually find quite a great way to describe the two takes.

@kaypeace21 's take is that elements of the DiD system have been externalised through science-"fictional" or supernatural means. Similar to Legion from the Marvel universe.

(David is a powerful mutant with DiD where each alters, if I remember correctly, has a different power or powers. (Which to this day is still one of the most BADASS thing I have ever come across though it must be quite terrifying for David.))

@strangertheory is an internalised POV on the DiD system existing in the show. She believes that what we are seeing right now is what is exclusively happening INSIDE the DiD system and that what we are experiencing is not our standard definition of the "real world". As in the physical world we all know. This would be in very vulgar terms happening inside Will's self, head, mind or brain. In a sense, it would be a more accurate representation of what DiD is about. A Shyamalan twist if you prefer.

(Though right now I don't have any word for word examples of such take, there is a show called MR.ROBOT that fits a bit of this description since there are moments in the show that we are seeing are only happening in the DiD system itself.

I recommend this show A LOT. It still is a bit dramatized but from what I know the DiD representation is quite accurate and pleased a lot of people with DiD. Also some people on the Stranger Things crew worked on that show.)

Now do I love the DiD theory ?

Heck yeah, I fucking love it! And with a big L! (Am I right "The First I love you?").

And I Love both of the takes and I think each one works at explaining the mysteries of this story. I even think that in some ways both could work well together.

I believe that DiD can be, without the meaning of being used, like many things a powerful storytelling "device" since it is connected to so many themes and other writing tools and is linked literally to the psyche, emotions and personalities of the characters.

I can understand why some people like both or one or respectfully and logically dislike both or one of the takes. But it is close to my belief about what the show is about or were even before I came into this fandom or on the internet, not as complex and thought out as the theory itself but pretty close in the overall themes and aspects of it.

(Though it bewilders me how much people lack imagination or are scared of such twist when I have seen so many of those types before whether it's done well or not, accurate or not.)

Now both @strangertheory and @kaypeace21 are intelligent people with very nuanced takes. And they had their fair share of completely unjust controversies coming from either rabbid ignorant shippers, far too sensible people or downright ignorant stupid people, most of the time 16 year olds. I am not saying that they are perfect, no one is, but the hate they have received is completely unjust.

And I am gonna lay it down right here, they are begging for an accurate representation here, they are not doing this because it just sounds cool and is edgy, they are actually wanting that The Duffers pull this off well. They would be very mad if they use all the imagery just to make it look cooler or scarier.

They are not bringer of truths, they are just like us. They are theorists, they believe in something that they think can explain the story they love and are experiencing. And so far, they have a pretty damn good track record.

They are analysing, dissecting the show because it's what they want to do and they believe in it and they believe the Duffers wants them to do that (I mean how come no one believes it when watching a show like that set in the 80's with so many references ?).

It is also supposed to be fun. Have fun for God's Sake! You can disagree with it but calling names and being disrespectful because somehow they don't agree with very basic, lazy and cliché theories (and no it's not being hypocrite, a lot of people barely do the work.) or are not on board with your creepy projection over the characters IS not okay.

And no, they aren't supporting p*d*philia as some people have claimed. How can you read these theories and come up to that conclusion ?

Most people haven't even read the DiD theory or have gone all the way through with it because they are lazy, easily bored people who don't have the time to just relax, process and think.

Stranger Things is not a kids show, some dumb teenage romance drama show with cool monsters! It's a very mature show, with real problems that are treated, out of which is trauma and mental health. Kids are killing people and even dying on this show. There is sexism, racism, abuse both physical and psychological.

It is a very mature and dark show. And you are being disrespectful to the Duffers when you say they are not that smart or that isn't that important. They are putting a lot of thoughts into this and the fact that no one really recognises this annoys me.

Or people only think it's important when it is only about the things they enjoy in the show. (Which is more hypocrite to me.) OR people are very stupid if they truly think that or are just jealous, bitter that two women have more imagination together and individualy than all of them or that person alone.

Color and costume choices, subtext, context, camera angles, directing, VFX, music, editing, sets, props, script, acting and editing are very important. All must be carefully done or you get very bad or generic stuff if you don't. If you love and you are passionate about the work, you put all the details you can into it.

And the Duffers and all the people working with them have already referenced those sort of things AND the practice of what we do on the internet. They are aware, they know because they have been in the same place too. They grew up with stories too, they made theories too whether it's on the internet or not.

At the end of the day, it is just a theory. An explanation of what is unfolding, may unfold or may have unfolded. I believe in it, I think it is reasonable, it has logic and it makes sense. It also has a lots of elements backing it up.

And the Duffers don't even have to go with DiD or mention it. Will creating some of the characters and supernatural events from his trauma is also similar and more accessible to the masses. But a Shyamalan twist can also work if it is done well.

And I am also open to other possibilities and theories, if they make sense and have enough elements IN THE SHOW and everything connected to it backing it up.

If the Duffers write something completely different but it is as good and also explains even better than this theory than I'll be okay. I love being wrong, it makes me learn new things and enhances the way I approach stories in the future.

If the Duffers only used this as some very inaccurate and disrespectful scary/abstract subtext without commiting to it. That is where I will have a problem.

Or write something completely incoherent with the rest of the show with a bad plot twist catering to the main public masses to sell the story even more and just make money so that they are safe with a fallacy of a work of fiction. Because they are cowards who didn't know how to manage themselves and baited entire audiences or listened to some crappy executive who didn't understand shit about the story. (wink wink, looking at a certain something...)

So yeah, I do love the DiD theory and both of it's takes and if it happens and is done right, with of course my perspective on the thing and PRIMARLY the perspective of people who have DiD or know a lot about it, I'll be pleased with it and I think it could be something very important for stories, people, the world and "art" in general.

Thank you for the question it was really fun! I hope I described the theory and the condition in the right way @kaypeace21 and @strangertheory and also the people who are concerned or know about it if I didn't let me know. Also, if you disagree with what I said, the way I said it or the subject itself let me also know IF it's respectful of course.

[inadequate-nefelibata]

The cobra kai writers room in numbers

I guess I’m finally going to post this, because otherwise I made all those excel speadsheets for no reason. (if you just want the numbers, its under “Writers room in numbers”)

It’s my personal opinion that every discussion about representation in media should always include a conversation about who is writting those stories. One of the main reasons why we lack diverse mainstream stories is because a lot of the time this type of media is produced and written by privileged groups. 

This is something that has been mentioned before many times, in many fandoms, but because the writer’s room is not inmediately visible when you consume a piece of media, most of the conversations about biases and stereotypes tend to focus on the diversity and development of the characters: how many of them belong to a certain group, what kind of storylines they get, etc, etc. If this is deemed insufficient or inadequate, the writers are encouraged to do better. 

This is not necessarily wrong: constructive criticism can actually help people become aware of certain issues in their writing. But even when they do care, these people are still going to be much better at empathizing with and humanizing people from their own group, not just because of their personal experiences, but also because the media they grew up with and still consume today contains those same biases. So, for example, as much as I do believe that a well-meaning man could create some great female characters, his ideas are probably going to be heavily influenced by what he has already categorized as “good female characters” in mainstream media, unless he actively looks for stories that were written by women. 

I did all that long texty introductiong because I dont want to make it seem like im singling out one show: this is an issue of the entire... uh format? 

Okay, so with that out of the way: 

Writer’s room in numbers

(That speadsheet looks ugly as hell, but oh well. I hope it’s at least visible!) 

References: 

orange: writer/director is not a man

green: writer/director is not white

To make it accesible for everyone, the numbers are:

N° of writers: 

White: 12/13

Men: 10/13

White men: 9/13

N° of episodes (writers):

White: 25/30

Men: 24/30

White men: 19/30

N° of directors:

White: 6/8

Men: 7/8

White men: 5/8

N° of episodes (directors):

White: 26/30

Men: 24/30

White men: 20/30

N° writers + directors (I realize that this is redundant. But I only came to that conclusion after I did the math. so Im sorry okay, but I need to put it somewhere):

White: 15/18

Men: 14/18

White men: 11/18

N° of episodes (writers + directors):

White: 22/30

Men: 20/30

White men: 14/30

To summarize: most of the writers/directors are white men,  half of the episodes are written and directed by white men, there are NO women of color, and NO latines, or, at least, no latines of color.

All the information was taken from the US wikipedia page of Cobra kai (you can see who wrote each episode there), IMDb and  the social media accounts of the members of the staff. Truthfully, I have no idea if the information on wikipedia is 100% legit. I originally went to the spanish version of the page, cause that’s my native language, aand some things there didn’t seem right. So, I switched to the US one because it seemed more complete. But... I don’t know. Just to be clear. 

Also, Josh Heald, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg are always in charge of the story to some degree. According to the wikipedia page of Cobra kai, most of the input from other writers takes place in the teleplay. I know nothing about how  TV shows are made, but according to wikipedia: 

“According to current Writers Guild of America guidelines, a television script consists of two distinct parts: "story" and "teleplay". The story comprises "basic narrative, idea, theme or outline indicating character development and action", while the teleplay consists of "individual scenes and full dialogue or monologue (including narration in connection therewith), and camera set-ups, if required".[2] Simply put, this distinguishes the contribution of ideas toward the story from the actual writing of the dialogue and stage directions present on the page in the finished product.”

So that’s the difference.

Anyway, Cobra kai is not unique in this regard, but I think this is a good thing to keep in mind, especially when we discuss the lack of development of characters like Aisha or Carmen, or Nate, or the issues with most of the characters who are women. 

Extra stuff I have on my brain

According to some interviews (which should be taken with a grain of salt, bc they are talking about their bosses in public), both Vanessa Rubio (Carmen) and Tamlyn Tomita (Kumiko) got to make some calls in the story of their characters. For example, Vanessa said that she decided to give her an accent because of her background. Tamlyn put some conditions for her appearence in the show. Specifically, she wanted to see a more accurate portrayal of Okinawa. I did not get the impression that she was super satisfyed with the result though:

(...)

Unrelated but:

!!! 

[watermelonlovershigh]

Bisexual Harry (MILD SMUT w/ MOSTLY FLUFF)

ATTENTION- THIS IS STRICKLY FICTIONAL (NOT REAL). I'M FULLY AWARE THAT HARRY HAS NOT CAME OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS TO BE UNLABLED. I ENJOY BI HARRY FANFICS BUT THERE ARE NOT MANY OUT THERE SO I DECIDED TO WRITE ONE. ALSO THE TRAITS I WILL BE CONCIDERING AS BISEXUAL TRAITS ARE FULLY DEPENDENT ON THE INDIVIDUAL. I HATE STEREOTYPING. JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT JUST BECAUSE HARRY DOES THESE THINGS IN THIS STORY THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SOMEONE BISEXUAL OR EVEN GAY. LASTLY I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I'M NOT BISEXUAL MYSELF BUT THE IDEA OF BEING WITH A MAN WHO IS, IS A TURN ON. NOT IN A FETISH TYPE WAY. JUST THE VULNERABILITY AND OPENNESS OF ENJOYING EITHER WOMEN OR MEN IS INCREADIBE TO ME. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

Harry told me early on into our relationship that he was bisexual. He was so nervous that I would leave him, but it just made me fall more in love with him. He told me late one night about 6 months into dating, on his couch. The second he told me, Harry broke down into real raw tears. The first time I'd seen Harry actually cry. Yeah I'd seen him cry during sappy movies but this was so much more than that. These tears had fear in them. Fear that I would leave him. They had vulnerability in them for being so open. But also a weight was lifted off his chest, just happy to tell me. I held Harry in my arms and cried with him, telling him how much I loved him and that this doesn't change anything. That I loved him just as much.

Only a few people in Harrys life knew he was bisexual. His close family. His close friends. That was it. If it got out in the media, the internet would have gone wild. Of course there were many rumors about his sexuality. Most of them being that he's gay. For the longest time he actually thought he might be gay. He had a lot of 'gay tendencies': painted nails, feminine clothes, pearl necklaces. But he also had very 'mainly tendencies' like watching football and drinking beer with the lads. Harry was just so conflicted all his life. Not knowing what he was. That's until the age of 18. One of his school friends came out as bisexual and that's when it clicked for him. He liked both male and females and he was okay with that. He excepted that part of him. He was more worried about what others would say or think. His family was very supportive. His friends were too. They never treated Harry differently knowing that they were straight and he was sexually attracted to them. Well not so much them specifically because they were more like brothers, but the male species as a whole.

Being in sexual relationships were on a new level of fear for Harry. Fear that when he was having sex with a guy, that the guy would try and convince him he's actually just gay. Or the fear that any women he had sex with would say he wasn't manly enough for them. Needless to say, Harry kept his sexuality a secret from most of his one night stands or short term relationships. He just didn't feel the need to tell them unless they asked specifically if he was bi or not.

Me and Harry meet at a local club in London a few years back. He was with his bandmates at the time. I was by myself because my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I was devastated and needed to escape reality. That meant drink until my body went numb. Unfortunately for me though, I wasn't that much of a drinker so my body rejected the alcohol pretty fast. I stumbled onto the London streets trying to get fresh air but ended up puking my guts out in a near by bin. Harry just so happened to be outside at that moment and saw the whole thing before his eyes. He rushed over to me and pulled my hair back to prevent more vomit from getting in it. Then he asked if I was alright and who I was with. I told him I came there alone so he insisted I come back to his place. Because my brain was fuzzy from the alcohol, I didn't hesitate one bit. Harry set up his guest room for me and helped me to bed that night. Something I'm forever grateful for. If it wasn't for him, I could've been kidnapped and raped by a stranger on the streets. When I woke up the next day, I realized who's house I was in. All of the music awards on the shelf in the room I stayed in gave it away. I was never a big fan of One Direction, no reason in particular, so I didn't act like a fangirl would have. Before I left his house, he gave me his number to call if I ever needed someone to talk to. Considering he was an international popstar and all, he sure was the most genuine person I'd ever meet. Taking care of a complete stranger and even giving them his phone number. I never thought I'd actually call him though. Or even see him again, but about a week later, I ran into him at a local coffee shop and we started talking form there. The rest was history.

We hung out all the time. He invited me to a few One Direction concerts. Even had sex a few times. Amazing sex I might add. It truly was great. Even though at the time, I had to remain secret from the public. More so said by Harry then his management. Mainly to keep me safe and out of the media knowing how private I liked to be. Three months of seeing each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was thrilled. Then six months into our relationship, Harry realized how serious our relationship was becoming. That we both had strong feeling for each other. So that's when Harry decided to tell me he was bisexual. On his couch. Late one night. He wanted to get it out of the way so he didn't have to hide that part of himself with me. So he could be himself around me. If I excepted him that was and of course I did.

Approximately two years after dating, Harry purposed. He was basically shitting bricks the whole time, but he did it. I didn't hesitate one second before I said yes. We were in love. At this point, the media had found me and Harry out. Most of his fans adored me. Some said our relationship was fake. And others just flat out said I was keeping Harry closeted, not allowing him to be gay. But I knew the truth. I knew he was bisexual, not gay. I never doubted his sexuality one bit. Especially how he devoured my body when we made love. Any gay person would probably gag at the sight of a women's pussy. Not Harry. It was his favorite part of my body. A year after Harry filmed the movie Dunkirk (2017), we got married. It was a small wedding. Just close family and friends invited. It was perfect.

Now here we are in the current year of 2021 and we're still going strong. A few fights here and there, but because both Harry and I have too big of hearts, we always feel bad after fighting and immediately apologize to one another. The media had tried to split us up multiple times but it's never been successful. Our love for each other is too strong and everlasting.

Just because Harry is in a happy, loving heterosexual relationship, doesn't mean he feels completely secure about his sexuality all the time. In the beginning of our relationship, Harry tried to completely throw away any 'bisexual' tendencies he had even though he knew I supported him. For instance, there was many times Harry wanted to paint his nails but didn't. Or would refrain from gushing over sexy guys in movies we watched together. That's when I noticed he was becoming depressed. He stopped writing music. He would disengage in activities we tried to do together. Even pushed me away when I tried to have sex with him. I felt hopeless. Until one morning I asked him what was wrong, and he spilled everything. How he tries so hard to suppress the bisexual side of his character for me. For our relationship. Harry explained that he had the desire to paint his nails vibrant colors and wanted to wear feminine clothes sometimes. Something that was particularly hard for Harry to confess to me was how he even wanted to try anal. On me or me with a strap on fucking him. Right away I made us an appointment to get our nails done at a salon. Then I told him he could wear a trash bag and he'd still be the most beautiful mainly man I'd ever seen. Lastly, I grabbed my laptop and went online shopping for female strap ons, letting Harry pick the girth and size he wanted. Yes I was a little nervous to actually fuck him, but he assured me he would help me out every step of the way. As for anal on me, I mentioned how I would be nervous but how I also trusted him. Trusted him enough to penetrate me anally. That I knew he would be extra careful with me.

Needless to say, I made Harry more confident. Confident in his sexuality. I got him to come out as bisexual to the public. I let him explore his bisexuality in the bedroom. Though of course he still worshiped my pussy. We had weekly appointments to get our nails painted. Harry even wore a dress out to a date night one night. He was super scared and on edge the whole night but I kept whispering in his ear how I couldn't wait to rip that dress off of him and fuck him in the ass until he cried out of pleasure.

I honestly loved that Harry was bisexual. It was almost like a turn on for me. He was both a gym buff and my little princess. He had thick arm muscles and toned abs, as well as pink nails and pearl necklaces. Anytime he mentioned how hot a guy on tv was, we could gush over him together. Or how sensitive and vulnerable he was at times. A lot of guys hold in their emotions, thinking men can't express their feelings, but not Harry. If he felt the need to cry, he would. Right in front of me. It could be triggered by a sad movie or a animal abuse commercial. Also, on the rare occasions he asks for it, I would fuck him with the strap on in his mouth. Though a rubber penis didn't quite taste like the real thing, salty mixed with sweat, he loved to deepthroat it anyways. Watching him choke and gag around the fake penis made my pussy drip. We even bought a strap on dildo that had a vibrator on the back side of it. That way every time the fake cock would enter his mouth, the vibrator would stimulate me clit, giving me pleasure as well.

No matter how much the media tried to convince Harry he was in fact gay and didn't actually like women, he would ignore the rude comments and prove to me everyday that he in fact loved me. Me as a women. Loved my smile. Loved me eyes. Loved the way my boobs bounced while having sex. Often grabbing them in his hands and stimulating my nipples. Loved the way my tight pussy felt around his dick. Or the way my sweet juices tasted on his tongue when he ate me out. Yes he loved dick. Yes he loved balls. Yes he loved being railed to death from behind. But he also liked vagina and he loved boobs. Harry wanted to make love to me and get me pregnant. Watch my stomach grow. Be there to hold my hand when I deliver the baby. Help change diapers at 3 am when I'm to tired to do so. Teach our kids to love and respect everyone and be themselves. Be open to our kids about his sexuality. Give them knowledge on bisexuality and educate them on the matter. Instead of assuming they are straight by asking his future son if he has a girlfriend yet or asking his daughter if she has a boyfriend, Harry will ask if the have a partner or fancy anyone in particular. Love his children for who they are or who they want to become. Be a role model for them. And live happily ever after with me, his supportive wife, by his side.

MASTERLIST