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#because also thing by julie
anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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heymacy · 6 months
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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ch1zzie · 6 months
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The original in the bottom
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Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
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#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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starrysharks · 6 months
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remember that i'm ALIVE but minty isn't unfortunately
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hold on. i just wanted to see their height difference and. and hold on-
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ill probably clean this up & do the other neighbors but ohhhhh my god. hes SMALL!!!!!! TWELVE! APPLES! (bg Home included to see if Barnaby would be able to fit through the front door. nope<3)
#im imagining barnaby leaning against home's roof while home repeatedly hits him with the side window#(it does nothing)#ANYWAY SO YEAH WALLY TINY. SMALL MAN#since the only info we have on heights is that wally is 3ft (twelve apples) and julie/sally are just a smidge taller than him#then frank/eddie are 4 ft#and then howdy/barnaby/poppy are all 7-8 ft#since theyre a bit vaguer im currently hc-ing that barnaby is the shortest at 7'9 while poppy is a solid 8 ft and howdy is between them#that still leaves barnaby as an absolute BEHEMOTH#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#okay. okay okay okay im so anormal about this#because i fucking Love height differences ok#whether its platonic or romantic or WHATEVER I AM WEAK TO IT. ITS MY FAVORITE THING#just a big person and their little guy. a little person and their big guy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#barnaby can hold wally like a ferret. wally can probably hide under barnaby's fluffy ears. im losing it#also the character heights are probably different than the physical puppet heights#since in the official art they all seem to have consistent size/height differences that slightly contradict their heights#which makes sense!! the big guys have walkarounds And live hands to keep em in frame with the smaller guys after all#(unless that info is a lie and there Are no different puppets bc theyre all alive and autonomous maybe but also hmmm Thinking)#still. wally is. so small#also its gonna amuse me when humans come into play#bc its like oh no!!! the puppets are all 3-4 ft tall! so tiny and vulnerable!#and then barnaby & howdy & poppy show up-#they could absolutely wreck humans. like fuck dude. theyre Huge.#id shit. just saying. if a near-8-ft-tall four armed four legged caterpillar man showed up id Pass Away On the Spot#i would say No Thanks and then Die Instantly#great now im picturing julie screeching THEY CANT STOP US ALL and then the smaller puppets swarm a person#so true queen <3 they Cant stop you all <3 especially when you have a huge fuckoff dog backing yall up
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ectonurites · 2 years
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Byler Week Day 5 — Secret Identities
very loosely interpreting the prompt for today but i've had this idea for a while and... secret identities, Superheroes, that works. anyone who knows me well probably could have seen something like this coming LMAO
also trying to draw Robin & Superboy costumes that look thrown together and home-made when i have spent so much time drawing their actual designs was a challenge
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✧ written for 'charm' ✧ word count: 548 ✧ rated: T ✧ cw: creepy in the luring kind of way ✧ tags: other!eddie ✧ @steddiemicrofic (≧∇≦)ノ⁠✧
The ringing wasn’t that annoying, mostly because it meant his favourite guest had arrived.
“Meow.”
And there he is, with the little charm on his collar. Steve has no idea how it makes a jingling sound but it’s so cute, he doesn’t really care.
“Hello precious,” Steve greets and opens his windows out to let the black cat in. Robin always complains and calls it a hazard, but she also baby-talks to him so Steve doesn’t take it to heart.
But the cat doesn’t come in. He stares at Steve with wide eyes, eyes as red as the jewel of his charm. Huh. He didn’t know cat eyes could be red.
The cat meows again and hops out of the window. Steve takes his coat, locks his front door and steps out. The cat meows again, hopping along the street and Steve follows.
“Meow.”
Steve blinks. The cold air has finally hit his skin and has him shivering except – he’s been cold for a while, hasn’t he? He’s been – he’s been walking for a while, his legs ache so much. Steve looks around, the shadows of the empty road crawling around him, and realizes he must have left town ten minutes ago.
How –
The cat.
The one that always came to their window and asked to be let in, the one he followed all this way.
Where is it?
“Aren’t you a little far from home?”
Steve swivels around, hand grasping out for – for what?
A man smiles at him from the middle of the road. It’s too dark to see his face but he can see his eyes.
Pretty, pretty red.
“What are you doing here, stranger?” the man asks as he holds his hand out, crooking a finger in a ‘come-hither’ kind of way.
Steve stumbles over. “I – I was following this cat, where –“
The man’s (pretty, so pretty) red eyes widen, and he barks out a laugh. Steve smiles with him. “A cat, huh? In this cold? Oh, you poor thing.”
The moment he said that, the chill of the wind bit at Steve’s ears, and he shudders.
“Oh no,” the man tuts. He steps closer to Steve, pulling him in by his waist and adjust his own thick, fur coat around the both of them. “Is that better, sweetheart?”
Steve smiles, and he knows it’s his dopiest one because it’s the one that would always make people laugh and call him an idiot.
The man’s smile drops and his (beautiful, bloody) eyes flare angrily. He holds Steve even closer, even tighter, and Steve feels so warm. “They’re not worth it, sweetheart. We’re here now.”
Nuzzling into his neck, Steve sighs happily.
“That’s it, darlin’,” the man murmurs and he sighs too. “You don’t even remember me, but I’ve been so lonely without you.”
“Without me?” Steve frowns and goes to look at the man, Eddie, in the eye but a cold, clawed hand presses his face back into the warm skin. “Why were you without me?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” Eddie chuckles and Steve hums. “You’ve got me now and I’ve got you. Just like we said.”
Steve peeks over Eddie’s shoulder, where the lights of the town fade into the shadows. Just like they said.
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pawfulofwaffles · 10 months
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Nhnhnhn holidays
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It’s very snowy, Eddie better be careful delivering mail…
(In the first picture, since it’s hard to read, Frank is saying “Happy Hanukkah” and Howdy is saying “Merry Christmas” and their exclamations are colliding, so they just go with “Happy Holidays” instead)
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adhdtsukasa · 5 months
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prosekai au where everything is absolutely the same except niigo, instead of being a music circle, is a fanfiction writing-ish group. kanade is a writer, mafuyu is her beta reader, ena makes fancomics based on kanade's fanworks and mizuki makes trailers for upcoming fics. and basically that's it. niigo lore but everything revolves around them being wattpad ao3 users
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jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - Part 30
PREVIOUS
Ichirou Moriyama had long been someone Riko had spoken about and therefore someone Kevin knew of.
First reverently as he talked about how someday his brother would come for him and how he’d watch Riko’s games. Then Ichirou never showed up once and the anger set in and mentions of his brother would result in especially bad days.
Kevin��s only saving grace at the Nest near the end was that Ichirou had been as uninterested in him as he was in Riko.
Neil was the one who had handled any communications with the new Master of the Moriyama family and Kevin was grateful for that. His stomach still twists when he found out what it would cost him to have the closest thing he would ever really have to freedom since his mom’s car accident but Kevin could hardly fault Neil since Kevin has no idea if he would have been able to even open his mouth and speak to negotiate with Ichirou. He certainly wouldn’t have thought to bargain for Neil and Jean’s lives.
So he was going to make sure the Neil had the best possible chances to get on a great team not just because he had every faith that Neil could be on the national court but also Kevin wanted him on the national court. Neil was his partner and his friend.
This was his last year that he could help as directly as this so he and Neil were still putting in the hours in their evening practices. It was also the last year that Neil could rely on him to assist in getting everyone up to snuff.
Ichirou Moriyama was going to be stopping by at some point and Kevin had decided that the best way to handle this information was to focus on something life affirming.
“I’m just saying it isn’t an unknown flavor combination.” Kevin argues.
“Kevin there is something very different about vanilla protein powder in chicken stock and Chicken and Waffles.” Aaron says from his spot behind Kevin in Wymack’s car.
“There shouldn’t be! It’s all the same flavors, just liquid!” Kevin turns in his seat to point at Aaron, “You should put on your seatbelt, what if Wymack crashes?” He says for the third time since the car ride had begun.
“That’s my problem, not yours.” Aaron says and his eyes have been locked on the roof of the car since the car ride began which was rude but Kevin had learned to expect nothing less from a Minyard.
“It will be my problem when your corpse breaks my neck as you fly forward!” Kevin hisses.
“Coach, could you do me a favor-“
“I’m not going to crash the car.” Wymack interrupts eyes on the road and hands at 10 and 2.
“God forbid you do something nice for me.” Aaron gripes crossing his arms.
Kevin decides to change his target.
“Coach-“
“Kevin, you’re not putting any protein powder into Smith’s soup. That’s final. Do you want to mess up his Grandma’s hard work to follow the Doctor’s recipe exactly?” Wymack asks.
No.
No Kevin does not wish to mess up Grandma Smith’s hard work.
He just…
A Food pyramid flashes in his mind.
…thinks he knows more than the hospital dietician.
“It’s not that Smith’s Grandma made bad soup.” Kevin says because the woman was a talent in the kitchen even if she might use a bit too much butter. He’d let her know but Nicky refused to translate and she’d smiled so warmly at him and touched his face so gently… “I think she was led astray by bad science and Nicky wouldn’t translate for me.” He says, “If she understood English she would have understood and agreed with me.” He says because he did manage to get her finely chop a bunch of carrots to put into the pasta sauce so that Neil would get some veggies.
She was a reasonable woman who understood the importance of good nutrition.
“I don’t know about that.” Coach says and Kevin wonders what he means by that.
They’re close behind Andrew’s car and Kevin can see two parking spots next to one another near the front except Andrew pulls into the spots in a way that means it is almost impossible for anyone to get into the second spot unless they owned a tiny smart car.
Andrew often parks like that to make sure no one dings the Maserati.
“That little shit.” Wymack grumbles as he continues to drive.
“Aren’t you going to let us out at the entrance?” Kevin asks.
“Who am I, your driver?” Wymack grumbles and does not slow down to let them out  at the hospital entrance. “You’ve been bitching about not getting enough exercise and eating too much fat this weekend, consider this just some of the exercise you’ve been wanting.” He says.
Kevin leans back in the chair.
He does NOT pout. He merely frowns with his lips puffed out and feels as if he has been treated unfairly.
He uses this time wisely.
He thinks about Neil and Andrew’s ‘secret’ conversation.
Kevin still doesn’t know Russian, has no plans to learn it because he does not want to know 80% of what Neil and Andrew say to one another, but Kevin has always been great at understanding tone and it’s not that hard to understand that they were talking about FF when he ‘Kapitan Neil’.
He thinks about what might stress Neil out about FF (never once does he consider that FF being in the hospital with a stab wound may be the thing that stresses Neil out, not when there’s an explanation that involves Exy).
FF might choose to leave.
That would not bode well for Neil.
Kevin has already signed but Neil needs the next few years still to make sure he can follow through on his deal with Ichirou.
FF is a great defensive dealer.
Kevin still doesn’t really understand how he can seemingly just appear on the Court to intercept passes but Kevin has been informed that all of his plans to figure it out are ‘medically unethical’ and ‘likely to get him thrown in prison’.
Nicky patting his face pityingly and saying, “Your face is too pretty for prison.” had been when he stopped looking at how he could buy electrodes.
His follow-up search to find out that no prison in the United States currently had an Exy court as a facility had him drop the outline of his research into his recycle bin and right click to delete permanently.
Since Kevin cannot find a way to replicate that particular talent of FF’s then they just need FF to stay.
He also quite likes the steady freshman. He’s probably not ever going to be National Court level like he and Neil are, but he would be a solid Dealer on a good team. Kevin wouldn’t even mind playing with him professionally.
They park the car far in the back of the lot and Wymack grumbles at a different nice car that is taking up two spots. Kevin climbs out of the car and they start their way towards the hospital.
Kevin considers jogging in circles around Aaron and Wymack as they walk just to burn off more of the lunch they’d just had but decides against it.
Maybe a different nutritionist will be on staff today and will be able to back Kevin up on his plan.
***
Captain Neil and Andrew are quickly followed by Nicky and his Grandma both of whom look nervous but some of that seemed to dissipate when they saw him.
“Are you okay?” Captain Neil asks.
FF goes to open his mouth but a nurse interrupts, “He decided to go on a walk in his current condition. I thought we were quite clear that you needed to stay in bed. Stressing yourself is why you collapsed in the Cafeteria like that.” His main nurse chastises.
“Sorry, it won’t happen again.” FF promises because it won’t. He’s planning on asking for a medically induced coma to escape the consequences of his actions so leaving the bed is the last thing he’s going to do. His dad’s trust for him can have money taken out for his medical needs and there has never been a greater medical need in his entire life than right now.
“What happened?” Andrew demands stepping next to Neil.
How does one explain getting a job offer from the Yakuza (Yakuza or Mafia)?
“I wanted to go for a walk.” He answers because he had and that’s easier to explain.
“Why did you meet Ichirou Moriyama?” Andrew asks again in German.
Well dammit.
FF finds himself at a crossroads.
Does he tell the truth? That he’s an idiot and didn’t realize the man was reaching out to Captain Neil? That he went and had an entire conversation with the man who owns Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean Moreau? That afterward he tried to stand up and fainted which is how he got taken back to his room?
He thinks he has enough lies going on between his own and his grandma’s and he needs to relay something from Ichirou Moriyama.
“Lord Moriyama wanted me to tell you that he no longer needed to speak with you Captain Neil.” He relays just like he said he would and he sees Captain Neil tense.
“Smith.” Andrew says his name.
He also doesn’t want to talk about it any further.
“I’m fine, but I don’t want to talk about it.” FF closes his eyes as he answers back in German. He feels exhausted now and wishes that he had just requested a coma earlier so that he wouldn’t be in this situation. “Captain Neil, you left your phone here and it’s been pinging. Sorry I read one of the texts.” He gestures vaguely to his side table.
None of his guests speak for the next few minutes as the nurses finish reminding him to stay still, that he’s lucky his stitches didn’t break, that he’s on thin ice. He’s tired and he’s hungry so he’s curt with them in a way he’ll regret later but right now it’s just a lot when he can still feel Captain Neil and Andrew’s eyes burning into him.
Then Nicky proves to continue to be the nicest friend he has when the nurses leave and he feels Nicky’s hand take his and squeeze. “Hey, how are you really feeling?” he asks.
FF takes a deep breath, “I have...no idea.” he says. “I’m sorry.” he adds.
Nicky squeezes his hand again, “Hey, Aras made you some soup and we kept it away from Kevin. You’re probably a lil’ cranky because you’re tired, hungry, and in pain. You don’t need to talk about it right now okay?” Nicky says.
He’s really lucky to have Nicky as his friend.
He squeezes Nicky’s hand back and valiantly does not cry. He squeezes his eyes tighter to keep them from slipping out, it’d be embarrassing to cry here like this.
“Thank you.” He says voice quiet but doesn’t open his eyes, knowing what will come out if he does.
His Grandma comes to his side again and strokes his face. Her fingers wipe away the few tears that did slip out despite his best efforts but he thinks she did it so casually that maybe no one noticed.
It hasn’t been a good day, but Grandma’s soup has always been something that makes him feel better. He just wishes he could be alone for a minute with just her to witness the next few minutes.
Nicky, bless him, must sense that because he squeezes his hand tightly before letting go, “C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” He says.
FF doesn’t open his eyes until his Grandma whispers, “My little Rotisserie Chicken, they’ve stepped out.” She says.
“He offered me a job in the Yakuza.” He blubbers immediately. “I don’t even know if they have dental.” He spills one of his lesser concerns.
“Oh honey, let’s eat some soup.” She soothes stroking his face.
***
Neil feels bad.
FF was pale, shaking, sweaty, and despite his grandma’s best efforts Neil had seen a tear slip from his tightly closed eyes.
He looks to his side and sees Andrew’s own hands tightened into fists.
“C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” Nicky says and drags them out of the room through the sheer force of his ire. It’s moment like this that Neil really does understand why it is that FF prefers to spend his free time with Nicky over any other of their group.
They get out of the room and down the hall before Nicky starts in. “You two are the KINGS of not talking about shit so, for now, LEAVE it.” He hisses in German in a bid to keep the conversation private from anyone walking past.
“We need to know what deal he and Ichirou came to.” Andrew says in the same language.
“You’re going to find that out from Ichirou probably once he crazy murders Romero and Jackson in the next couple days!” Nicky cries dramatically, “Smithy probably doesn’t even know the full details because he’s in a lot of pain because he’s been STABBED.” Nicky points a finger at Andrew but wisely does not poke him with it. “Do you think he ACTUALLY went on a walk? Ichirou’s men probably took him since they couldn’t find YOU Neil.” Nicky points at Neil and, again, wisely does not poke him with it.
Neil’s stomach twists.
Maybe Neil should invest in a phone clip like Wymack thought the implication that the Moriyamas came to where his phone was leaves him wanting to skip it like a stone straight into the ocean. Too bad going to a beach still makes his palms sweaty.
“So what WE are going to do,” Nicky does a quick circle to point at the three of them, “is we are going to be good friends and help Smithy because he’s stressed, in pain, and needs friends not INTERROGATORS.” Nicky waves his arms in exasperation.
“Who are Neil and Andrew interrogating?” Aaron asks and Neil looks to the side to see Aaron with Kevin being pulled along by the scruff by Wymack.
“Smithy.” Nicky says.
“Why?” Kevin asks.
“Because Ichirou came and talked to him.” Andrew explains.
Kevin goes pale. “Why? I thought he was going to talk with Neil?” Kevin asks looking at Neil.
“He probably came here following Neil’s phone, which he left. So he grabbed Smithy to talk to him.” Nicky says, “Ichirou seemed impressed and pleased with whatever they talked about but Smithy is a little fragile after all of this so,” Nicky stepped into Kevin’s space, “Leave.” He pokes Kevin’s chest once, “Him.” He pokes Kevin’s chest twice, “Alone.” He pokes Kevin’s chest a third time.
“How would he even have an understanding of who he’s talking to?” Kevin asks looking sick. “No one has mentioned anything about the whole thing with the Moriyamas right?” He looks at the rest of them and Neil knows none of them would mention it.
Nicky rolls his eyes with his entire body.
“Kevin, do you know how many languages Smithy is fluent in?” Nicky asks.
“Uh…quite a few?” Kevin responds looking thrown.
“Yeah, one of those languages is French. Which you KNOW because he’s corrected your pronunciation before.” Nicky reminds Kevin and the Son of Exy blushes slightly.
“What does that have to do with this?!” Kevin squawks.
“Kevin, how many conversations have you had RIGHT in front of Smithy in French as you talked with Jean?” Nicky asks.
“None!” Kevin hisses.
“Can you say that for sure? You know how it can be with Smithy. Aaron over here has basically almost fucked his girlfriend in front of Smithy before because he didn’t realize he was there.” He juts his thumb towards Aaron.
“Hey.” Aaron scowls not happy to be reminded of that. “He needs a damn bell.” Aaron grumbles.
“I’ve talked about it in front of him and you never told us?!” Kevin exclaims.
“It’s Smithy! He’s not going to tell anyone!”  Nicky argues.
Which is very true.
FF is just not that kind of guy.
“So we are ALL going to be good, supportive friends to Smithy and hopefully he gets out of here today despite the whole shit show with Ichirou and we get him back to Abby’s where he can rest up in her guest room with his grandma.” He points at each of them with a frown.
“But-“
“Kevin, leave it for now.” Wymack finally steps in to the conversation. “How’s he looking?” He looks to Neil.
Pale, tired, pained, and trying not to cry either from pain, stress, or fear Neil does not know.
“Bad.” Neil answers.
Wymack sighs, “Stay out here. I’m going to go check.” He says.
They watch as Wymack enters into FF’s room.
Kevin is still spiraling from the realization of all the different conversations he could have possibly had in front of FF thinking French would act as a barrier.
A thought crosses Neil’s mind, “Wait, Smith doesn’t know Russian right?” He looks to Andrew because he and Andrew have said quite a few things to one another when FF was there.
“No, he said he isn’t learning it here.” Andrew shakes his head. “Even if he does learn it Smith would just leave if he was uncomfortable.” Andrew shrugs.
They have all seen a ‘Smith 180°™‘ before when he’s walked in and has seen Aaron and Katelyn or entered a room where Nicky was talking to Erik or Matt was talking to Dan. Neil has even noticed one or two when him and Andrew may have been in a less than private place.
It was nice to have someone who would just see them like that and leave it alone instead of betting on it, trying to take a picture, or gagging like it’s disgusting.
Wymack walks back out after a minute in FF’s hospital room, “Let’s give Smith and his Grandma a couple more minutes.” He says and Neil’s heart sinks.
***
Wymack wasn’t quite sure what he walked into.
Smith’s Grandma was wiping his face and feeding him soup which is about what he expected. What he hadn’t expected was what FF was saying to his Grandma.
“….didn’t even wash his hands Gran. What if none of them wash their hands? I can’t work in that kind of environment!” FF babbles as he takes another spoonful of soup from his Grandma.
Smith’s Grandma looks up and sees that it’s just him at the door before continuing in English, “Sweetie, you don’t need to accept the job offer from the Yakuza.” She soothes.
“What do I even do?! What’s the etiquette? Do I send a letter refusing the job offer? Do I email him thanking him for the interview? Was it an interview?” FF asks.
Wymack shuts the door and he’s sure FF hadn’t even noticed him.
Yeah the kid needs a couple more minutes
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
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The  requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few  different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I  promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be  something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
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coffeebanana · 1 year
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i love how optimistic i am when outlining long fics it's like "oh wow if i just plan this all out and then Follow. The. Plan!! it will totally be SO EASY. i mean i can have it all done so quickly!"
...ignoring the fact that this has never once happened 😂
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rmorde · 6 days
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Trigun Manga Reaction
Here we go! Chapter 8 Volume... Huh?
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Voulme 2? I thought this is still Volume 1. Am I tripping?
Anyway! Just a moment of appreciation for this parody page of he cover.
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This while thing is so "busy" yet it still make sense. There's so many elements layering on top of each other. It should be a confusing mess. However, I can still easily pick out the four components that tells a story.
Component 1: Vash as a happy salary man being served a drink by a geisha (judging from the hairstyle and accessory) with shadowed eyes on the opposite end of the page.
Component 2: BDN at the dead center. The text makes it a bit difficult to confirm if he has a top knot, but he definitely is rocking a traditional Japanese look. He looks menacingly at Vash as he drinks.
Component 3: Meryl and Milly running in a hurry but for two clearly different purposes. Meryl looks like a traditional restaurant staff frantically trying to serve a lot of guests. Meanwhile, Milly doesn't look she's working anywhere near the food service industry with her get up and the tool that she has on hand.
Component 4: The Bad Lads drinking in celebration while an ambulance seems to be sounding its sirens as it parked near them.
Look. I may seem to be too obsessed with this gag page but it's crazy how its a fucking busy mess that still works at telling a cohesive story!
With just this two page drawing, I can infer easily that someone is in danger and may need to be hospitalized - so the ambulance was called and asked to stand by. Milly is probably the heroine about to save the day with the overworked yet eager to help Meryl. The party the Bad Lads are having is a big distraction at a possible murder attempt starring Vash as the victim, the geisha as the accomplice, and BDN as the mastermind.
I'M SORRY BUT HOW THE FUCK?!!!
And don't get me started on the scaling of each figure and the silhouettes. Just... I'll just repeat, Nightow is amazing for how pretty AND technical his drawing is. It's so clean. Wow...
Sorry for getting derailed. So, back to the chapter.
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Ok. I lied. Let me just appreciate Winter Mery and Milly here. I love them so much and they so fucking cute here with their dynamic pose... solid silhouette... Clean fucking lines... Sorry... Give me a minute!!!
Sigh~
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Interesting. So, '98 rearranged the sequence of events here. This happened a bit later... which I think is better. It adds more impact on Vash's duel against BDN.
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These guys are no stormtrooper shooters. They having really good aim!
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They didn't hit Vash. Okay. Maybe the tails of his coat now have fresh bullet holes, but aside from that, Vash is fairly intact. The Bad Lads have great accuracy.
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This is an intriguing way of drawing a spinning gun. It's simple but effective in visually communicating that that is what BDN is doing. A good choice. Thinking about it... If three twirling guns in a blur of circles were drawn, it would be too distracting and BDN will be overwhelmed in the panel.
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Cool foreshortening. Incredible detail on the filigree. And a bonus Goofy Face Vash!
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So so fucking glad '98 was faithful to the manga with these scenes. Meryl and Milly were such badasses here.
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Huh... Well that's a huge difference. There's not much:
GASP! It'S VaSH tHe STampeDE!
vASh ThE StAMpEdE?!
VASH THE STAMPEDE!!!
It can get a bit much... sometimes in '98. So, this is refreshing.
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WHAT...
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!!!
So, those lines by Miss Purple Avenger from the filler episode were originally from BRILLIANT DYNAMITES NEON?!
I-
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Oooohhh.... Pretty art... Wait no... I can't distracted. I'm mad!
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I'M VERY VERY MAD!!!
OML! This is much more intense! IT ADDS SO MUCH WEIGHT TO THE DUEL!
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Oh my goodness... This nuance... WHY WAS THIS CHANGED?!
Not to say that Miss Purple Avenger and the episode featuring her was bad. It was actually great! Her version of July was nightmare inducing... and her confrontation with Vash was truly tragic too but.... Uhm...uh... AAHHHH!!!! I CAN'T CHOOSE! THEY'RE BOTH GOOD!
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Oh... break my heart into fucking pieces will you huh?!
LOOK AT THESE! Manga Vash getting cheered on by the people! People were supporting him! He is being treated nicely as he deserved.
Even in '98! It was not as overt at this page. However, that scene of the captain from the beginning of this chapter replaced these panels instead and is just as effective. '98 Vash has people believing the good in him.
TRISTAMP VASH WAS ROBBED!!! HE NEVER HAD THESE!!! That poor precious boy! The few precious people who supports him only showed up near the end... and... and...
Now getting even more upset again with the Jeonora Episodes in Tristamp!
It's so not fair!
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Oooh. A cinematic page!
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HOLY SHIT!!! THESE PAGES ARE AMAZING!
I can't believe this. This fight is better in the manga!
I am not dissing Studio Madhouse for what they've done tho. The '98 Duel was epic too! They did great! But all these crazy angles and perspectives in the manga just elevate the overall awesomeness of the gunfight. It's just more immersive.
Tbf to the '98 anime, this is a nightmare to animate faithfully. With the technology and techniques at the time, this would be so difficult to pull off beautifully - going topsy turvy in one smooth motion for two characters at the same time in a fight scene with a complicated moving background? Yeah... The animation staff would go insane. It's totally understandable that they simplified this duel into extreme close ups and strong facial + gun drawings instead.
I hope Studio Orange re-hashes this fight in some way tho... or does the Episode 1 duel count?
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Sigh... With the my discovery that Miss Purple Avenger's lines were actually BDN's, and that the outrage towards Vash for not remembering anything about July belongs to the Bad Lads', these words have become so much more meaningful.
It's also now more effective at convincing me that Brilliant Dynamites Neon have hidden depths.
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Oh... Ow... The detailing here is just ow for the hands of an artist. Perhaps I overreacting, but those fine lines in the crooks and crannies make me wince.
Once again tag responses:
@revenantghost
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Yeah. The more I see his work, the more I'm awed by his skills. That's a cool detail that his design incorporate realism. I thought the glasses are for the light tho? But maybe it's like those the Olympian gunners wore during the competition?
The dead REALLY haunting the narrative? Looking forward to it!
@takeshidude
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Ok. Monthly publication are still grueling but at least its not as nightmarish with weekly mangakas. No wonder the quality is consistent with the art. Nightow was allowed to breathe.
You make a good point. '98 did have a bit of a mystery woven into it. We know Vash the Stampede - we follow his misadventures and people kept saying who he is ad nauseam in every episode. However, we don't really know know him for quite a long time. It's a different, but no less interesting, spin to the story.
Which kinda explains I'm misremembering some scenes and characterizations? The last third of '98 made a long lasting impression that I kinda forgot about Vash's horn dogginess.
#trigunbookclub#trimax journey#there is no escape#i'm due for a re-watch of '98#but i am a bit upset at the change of who mentioned july#yeah some may say it's a tiny thing but those questions about july COMING FROM bdn before the duel is just much more impactful!#especially when contrasted with the previous chapter where vash tells kaite about his pacifistic ideals#it's a metaphorical slap to the face like...#PREVIOUSLY - vash: kaite i don't want to kill because i promised someone i never would#CURRENTLY - bnd: oi vash! why fuck did you kill everyone in july?#just the absolute whiplash minfuck of it all! tho '98 did it too because Miss Avenger episode was AFTER the Love & Peace one#the events just kinda flows so much better here in the manga than '98...#ALSO! bnd mentioning july makes it more convincing that he's not a 100% asshole thirsting for nothing but mayhem and blood#'98 keeping his 'life shines brighest' line is a bit lackluster when he didn't show any redeeming qualities whatsoever#here in the manga there is an implication that while he is a ruthless criminal - he has a line that he thinks vash had crossed#hence his seemingly more 'personal' stake on the duel#idk aughhh#sorry for rambling here for too long in the tags#i'm going back and forth at this#because '98 isn't bad AND they did stick to the core idea regarding the july question to vash#plus people losing their humanity to fight for survival is plain terrifying#sigh... this manga is going to keep me at my toes even if i watched the two animes already
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arikihalloween · 7 months
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how we feeling about the fact that Julie canonically has paws?
I AM NOT OVER IT AND AND I AM ITCHING TO DRAW ALL MY JULIE AUS AND NYXIES WITH PAWS
OMG THE LITTLE PAWS
Da little paws *crying*
Da beans
Julie canonically has beans
I love Julie Joyful so much
I was so happy to hear her voice in the new tracks
I'm such a gremlin about her
Little paws on the rainbow gremlins
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comfortlesshurt · 3 days
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OKAY, IT'S FINALLY HITTING
(will you guys hate me if I post this longfic a month later than planned?)
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julyzaa · 1 year
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My chihuahua is giving birth and she sounds like a little turkey when she's in pain.
We've gotten two neighbors asking when the hell did we get a turkey lol
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