#also do you remember that death game train thing i was working on a few months ago GUESS WHAT I PICKED IT BACK UP!!!

[starrysharks]

remember that i'm ALIVE but minty isn't unfortunately

[simpingforheros]

Bring Me To Life

Pairing: Arkham Knight!Jason Todd x Female! Reader

Summary: Destroy the Batman and get his companion back? Jason almost didn't believe Slade until... Warnings: Usage of female pronouns, Nudity (NO smut), Swearing, Character Death, Angst, Resurrection, Infantization ( I didn't know how to better describe this), Unhealthy relationship dynamics, Kinda Dark/Obsessive! Jason, Mentions Electroshock therapy, Implied Brainwashing, Slade being a creep, Mentions of Drug Abuse, Mentions of Child Neglect, Mentions of Child Homelessness and unsafe situations, SPOILERS for Death in the Family (Comic 1988) and Arkham Knight.

Author's Note: Hiya Everyone, This is the first fanfic I've written in a while and the christianing fic for this account. I may start a casual little series with this, but I don't know yet. Also any comic and game inaccuracies are either because I forgot or I adjusted it to fit the story.

Also while this post is mostly safe for work, MINORS DNF AND PLEASE READ WARNINGS. I DO NOT AUTHORIZE ANYONE TO STEAL MY WORK OR REPOST IT ON OTHER SITES.

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It was supposed to be him...

Those dark nights he had spent alone on the streets as a child didn't seem so bad looking back on it. Jason understood struggle even when he had lived with his parents who spent grocery money on alcohol and drugs. Living on the streets didn't feel so much worse, especially since he had... "Jason, Mr. Accetta gave me some scraps from dinner rush today! There's even a whole pizza in here!"

Her. His one friend had since he was thrown into this harsh world. She was the only person he knew at the time to never stop smiling or finding a positive outlook on things. He couldn't even remember when they met, but he could hardly remember them being apart.

Whether he was stealing or fighting, she was there as a faithful lookout or a willing accomplice. She taught him how to take tires off of cars like her granddad taught her and he taught her how to throw a punch like his dad used to throw. An unstoppable duo who ran the alley as well as two 11-year-olds could.

The harsh winter nights they spent crowding together were his favorite memories from that time. Even with the bite of Gotham's winds at their toes, his partner would never falter to talk about anything and everything as he listened. She would talk about her dead grandparents a lot and all the stories she had with them before they passed away, but his mind couldn't recall them at all. He just remembers the constant dream that she told him every night.

"One day, Jay, I'm gonna have enough money and get an apartment in Old Gotham..." Jason's nose turns up as he listens to his friend as he bites on his food. "Why Old Gotham? Isn't it just falling apart?"

She giggles as she pulls the oversized coat closer to her shivering body. The jacket was from a relative but the fabric lost those memories as its fibers were now bones. She still had it even after she left the streets...

"Because it's the most beautiful place in the world...I will get an apartment someday and you and I will live there. We can even get like a cat or something."

The familiar burn on Jason's face blooms as he asks, "Why would you want me there?"

"Because it wouldn't be my dream home unless you're there with me."

He wouldn't find out until a few years later that her grandparents used to live in Old Gotham until her grandfather died and her grandmother had to move as she would unknowingly follow her husband not even a year later...

Those nights in the streets melted into nights spent in the warmth of Wayne manor. As the two thieves became kings after a faithful night with the Batmobile, Jason was brought into the world of crime fighting along with his closest friend. As they trained and donned their capes, She would show a new side of herself to Jason. The overly happy young girl from the streets became an anxious teenager as he became angerier.

"Jason..." Her voice woke him up in the darkest of nights. His body ached from the nightly fights from the previous day as he turned to see a familiar sight.

A now 14-year-old Y/N standing in the crack of the door. Her fidgeting figure indicated all he needed to know before he raised his blanket as she scurried to get in the bed. This was a ritual that started when they moved in. Both would grow anxious at night as they went from the open streets to a large, confining manor. Alfred almost had given up on trying to scold the teens as they were found sharing a bed more times than being separated.

As she curled into his side as much as she could without hurting him, he could practically hear her mind tinkering as her E/C eyes stared into his chest.

There wasn't the need to discuss what was on her mind. At least not right now. She was concerned about the growing tension between Bruce and Jason. He was becoming reckless and Bruce was having none of it with her often getting dragged into the middle of the fights.

He hated that he never tried more...

It shouldn't have surprised him when all the conflict had finally caused a break in the family. Especially when Jason began looking for his birth mother. Y/N tried to be supportive of him as he investigated his leads. Those leads eventually led to Jason reuniting with Bruce as he investigated a possible arms trade in Lebanon. The reconciliation and the prospect of finding his mother left him blind to any form of common sense, but what kind of common sense could a fifteen-year-old make in the life they lived?

He should have listened to her concerns when they finally found Sheila Haywood, his real mother. Y/N had a bad feeling from the start but he dismissed her worries. Jason had no clue that the night he was supposed to meet with Sheila was gonna end up being one of the worst nights of his life....

"Jason, maybe you should wait for Bruce to be here so he can come with you." She suggested softly.

His eyes roll as he adjusts his costume. "Because it's none of his business. I'm just meeting with my mom and talking out some stuff..."

He didn't tell her about the blackmailing he witnessed earlier that day between his mother and the Joker. But, he would find out later that she already knew about it through Bruce.

Her hand reaches for his shoulder and pulls him around to face her. "I'm serious. You shouldn't meet with a woman you barely know in some fucking warehouse in the middle of nowhere!"

Jason can remember the hurt he felt when he heard her snap at him, Oh, how angry he got with her when all she wanted was to protect him. He remembers yelling at her the worst thing he thought he could say to her.

Why the fuck did he ever say that to her?

"I'm sorry your parents didn't want anything to fucking do with you, but I'm not gonna let your bitter ass ruin my shot to be with mine."

He remembers the hurt that filled her eyes and the string of regret pooling in his gut. With a fake smile on her face and tears pooling in her eyes, Y/N says softly,

"Okay...I'm sorry," The sharp sting in his neck as she pressed the vial of sedatives Bruce gave her into his veins. "I'm sorry to do this, Jason, but Bruce said you wouldn't go down that easily."

Jason couldn't remember what he said after the spark of betrayal hit him, but he hated himself that the last time he saw those eyes they were clouded with the tears he caused....

"Y/N! Please talk to me!" Jason begs into the coms as he rod on the back of the motorbike with Bruce.

He should have known. Her instincts are never wrong and he doubted her.

When Bruce found him unconscious and told him about how Joker was involved in all of this, Jason should have known that it was all a trap. His mother wasn't a poor blackmailed soul, she was a conniving bitch who profitted.

He also should have known that Y/N was gonna go meet with Sheila instead of him. Where the Joker was waiting for her.

"Y/N, please. Please be okay...." He begged to the coms as he can only think about what he said to her the last time they spoke.

"J...Jason...."

"Y/N!" Relief washed over him like a wave as he heard her voice. Her broken pained moaned of his voice made him sick as he tried to at least rationalized that at least she was alive. "Don't worry, honey. We know where you are and we're coming to help you."

He didn't know that she was laying battered and broken against the locked door as she stared at the bomb that was ticking away on the wall. Her labored breaths blocked out the ticking on the comms as she whispers out.

00:12

"Do you remember the apartment?..."

"What apartment? The one you talked about in the alley? Why are you-?"

She interupts him, he can hear the familiar curl of her smile in her pained voice as she whispered,

"I wanted it to have a window facing the east end...the stars always looked pretty over there..."

00:10

"Y/N, what are you-"

"I wanted one of those Tabby-looking cats like the ones we saw in the alleyway outside of Mr. Accetta's restaurant...Name it Frank after that old Italian fucker...I was hoping we could go back and actually buy dinner in that restaurant someday..."

00:08

"Are you okay? Why are you talking like this? We are almost there. I can see the building! We are almost here. I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU."

Jason's desperation was palpable as he heard his beloved talk like she was on her deathbed. His panic causes Bruce to drive faster as the Batcycle inches closer to the warehouse. "Jason"

00:04

"Jason, I love you...I have since I was 13..." She admits as her voice trembles. "I used to dream we would become the family we always wanted with each other...Thank you for being in my life and I'm sorry I let you down..."

00:03

"Y/N, I -"

00:02

"Wait!"

00:01

"Goodbye, Jason..."

.

.

.

It should have been him who died that night... It was supposed to be him. NOT HER.

Jason blamed himself for her death as soon as he helped pull her broken corpse out of the rubble. He tried to convince himself that it wasn't her. This wasn't his Batgirl. Not his best friend who would run around the manor with him or help him pickpocket pedo freaks on the street. This broken little girl that was in his adoptive father's arms wasn't his first love. She was a bright, kind light who protected her loved ones, not this broken shell who wore her skin...

But, it was her...

He blamed Bruce for it too. He was the one gave her the orders to keep Jason away from the warehouse. He had to have known that she was gonna go instead. Bruce should have known she was because she wanted to be wrong about Sheila so Jason could be happy...

He also blamed the Joker. He wanted that Clown dead... His opportunity presents itself after he tracks Joker down to an abandoned wing of Arkham trying to flee from blowing up a children's hospital.

Blinded by his rage and bloodlust, Jason went in alone and without any communication. Y/N would scold him in her grave as he fell for the trap, sealing him in a cycle of hell for a year.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"What if I could?"

"Do what?"

"Bring her back. Would you be willing to work for Crane if I could bring back the little Batgirl?"

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He knew it was bullshit.

Bringing back someone from the dead was impossible.

Jason would have been satisfied if his pseudo-partner/ prisoner, Deathstroke, just told him that he would be able to kill the Batman and wipe the hell hole that is Gotham off the face of the earth. He already dedicated a full year after his escape from Arkham to building his army.

His only regret during this time was not killing Joker himself. Even after all the torture and pain that clown did to him, he regretted not bashing the Joker's skull in after their last encounter as Slade helped him escape. It wouldn't have mattered to him at the time that Slade would have killed him because it wouldn't have been revenge for his own torture.

it would have been for Y/N. For the hell she faced that night. After a few months in Arkham, Jason almost accepted his torture as punishment for not dying that day for her because he experienced everything she felt. Every day he experienced everything she had to feel those short agonizing hours for an entire year. She must have been so scared and Jason couldn't save her.

The only thing that kept him from giving up was the memories he had of her and the burning hatred for those who caused her light to be snuffed out too soon.

He just wanted to feel that warmth again...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"If you can do that, then I'll burn the whole world to the ground for that fucking lunatic."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Please Jason. Let us help you!" Barbara Gordan begged from her cell as Jason snaps at her.

"THERE IS NO HELPING! I CAN FIX IT!"

Jason was manic. His men were being tugged around like dog toys by Batman and Slade had left him hours ago to attend some matter he didn't care to ask about. His time was running thin and he knows he needs to end this soon. It didn't help that those he didn't want involved are here as well like Barbara.

"Sir..." A militia soldier says as he nervously walks into the room. HIs men were already aware how stupid it was to come near him when he's in a crazed anger. Jason's head whipped at him like a feral man as he grits out.

"What is it?"

"Deathstroke is here...and he uh..."

Impatience reaches a boiling point as Jason raises his gun and shoots the militia solider in the head as Barbara shrieks. The red puddle of death fills the sterile room with lead as Deathstroke walts in. Jason turns his back towards him as places his helmet back into place.

"My, what a mess you made." Deathstroke mockingly scolds. The hidden smirk almost causes Jason to snap again.

"Where have you been? Batman is out there taking down my tanks faster than my men can repair them. You told m-!"

The Arkham Knight's monologue was intruppted as he turns to scold Slade by his heart dropping to his stomach at the sight before him. He swore that if he didn't hear Barbara's gasp and the whisper of fate's name, he would have woken up back in that dreaded wing of Arkham Asylum.

Slade chuckles as he rattles the chain in his hand as he says coyly, "What? Am I not allowed to go fetch your payment?"

Standing behind Deathstroke was a naked woman. Her tangled up (H/C) hair ran down her shoulders as her wide innocent eyes shined through the now white tendrils framing her face. Her body seemed more mature but all muscle mass she had was faded. Her face seemed aged but he recognized the curve of her nose and those lips he imagined smiling at him through his darkest moments.

"Y/N?" He helplessly calls out to her as he feels himself pulled towards her like a magnet.

If it wasn't for the stark white streak and gnarly, painful-looking scars on her body, Jason would have thought this was Scarecrow's fear toxin. It couldn't be possible, right? She was dead. He knew she was because he held her body. He felt how cold she was and watched how her lifeless eyes looked up to the ash ridden sky.

Those eyes now looked at him with no familiarity, but a childlike wonder as she naively smiles at him.

"How?" Was all the Arkham Knight could muster as he reaches to grab her. To pull her into his arms and never let her leave.

Deathstroke grabs the collar that was wrapped around her neck and yanks her back behind him as she chokes on her breath. He chuckles as he looks back into Jason's voiceless mask.

"The Lazarus Pit brought back her body." He explains as he hauntingly twirls the chain in his hand. "Of course, after you agreed to work with Crane, I brought her back immediately. Unfortunately, the poor thing suffered from Pit Madness."

A cruel smirk appears on Deathstrokes lips as he pushes the girl's hair back to reveal circular scars on her temples. Jason felt rage bubbling up in his throat as he recognized what those scars were.

Prolonged Electroshock Therapy

"You sick!" Before Jason could throw a punch, Slade places his gun on Y/N's forehead as he chuckles. The woman didn't even sense the danger as she continued to observe everyone with a curious eye. Jason immediately backs off as Slade continues.

"Of course. Her treatment did cause her to be cured of the madness but at the cost of her memories. She barely remembers how to take care of herself so you make it like that. Especially when you want to fuck her."

Jason was thankful for his mask as he would have killed him from his glare. To imply that she was just a potential fucktoy made him itch to bury this man in the deepest bowels of hell. As he quietly glares at him, Slade finally offers him the chain. The Arkham Knight accepts the chain as the assassin warns him,

"Now since you got your payment. You better keep your end of the deal..." His voice becomes threatening as he says.

"Because I can easily kill her just as I brought her back.'"

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AN: I was gonna write more, but I got exhausted so this is all I got. Let me know if it's a vibe or not.

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@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT AUTHORIZE THE COPYING, STEALING, OR REPOSTING OF MY WORKS ON OTHER WEBSITES WITHOUT CREDIT.

[m1ndbrand]

"all it took was..." — The new President

WARNINGS: Coriolanus Snow is it's own warning(Snow after the 10thGames, 2 years after to be precise); Mentions of death and corpse(small description, nothing big).

SUMMARY: The 12th Hunger Games winner unfortunately fortunately gets the attention of President Snow.

WORDS: 1.384

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the franchise The Hunger Games characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them. I do claim what I wrote and only that.

A/N: If you know the tragedy of Coriolanus by William Shakespeare some names will be recognizable...Also I'm sorry but this chapter won't be the continuation of their little...encounter— but I promise, it's going to happen!

TAG-LIST: @sorry-mrs-jacobs; @phoward89;

MASTERLIST

He was never someone who believed in the stars and whatever they might mean to some people.

It seemed completely idiotic and beneath someone from the level of education, you would get from the Capitol to have this belief that in his humble opinion, of course — was archaic and beneath him.

Fate and stories written on the stars were all but a way of fairy tales being made, a topic on some and even a very important one at that "merging" some characters together like the universe itself deemed them a pair, one in two.

Star-crossed lovers.

How he hated that idea, he couldn't believe he even fed it to—

Let's not dwell on that topic, he had better things to do, like arrange a new Games Maker for the 12th Hunger Games.

Doctor Volumnia Gaul is no more, some freak accident with one or more than one mutt; it wasn't clear, the body was far too mutilated to be recognised by anyone at all if not for the DNA tests and well...the place of the accident, a place only a few people were able to enter and of course Doctor Gaul was one of those people, him included in the small pool.

It was slightly weird however how the mulls were able to break free, the reporters debated it for the first days the case broke daylight, but the theory was quickly suppressed.

After all, mulls were still in being tested and we're highly volatile, their behaviour unstable and unpredictable. And of course, accidents happen.

But the world continues to go around and so shall the Capitol, he needed to find someone and fast. 

He should have looked more into it, the selection that is. But he had more important things in his place, strength the security in the several points of entry on all distractions, the training of the peacekeepers and the change of the uniform like he so petitioned for just to name a few.

The new and young president had more important things to worry about than some person who would probably be soon replaced if so needed.

The theme he chose ,he didn't even try to remember the man's name, was an advanced-looking arena; a sign of the year the Capitol got a new President. Coriolanus liked the idea. It painted his future reign as one that would lead them into the future, lead them into a better time.

It painted him as a good leader.

The reaping ceremony passed without a problem. Some students clearly didn't like something— their tribute lack of attributes to make them win or the idea of having to participate in such 'twisted games' as the rebel-like-youth liked to name his games. He honestly couldn't care less, blue-ice-like eyes looking straight at the screens with a fake polite smile when the camera twists at him, showing his all too polished self composed with a deep red suit and thick coat that made his figure even more imposing than it normally is.

He would soon return to his manor and actually work, the two hours of the opening ceremony put his work ethic behind schedule more than he liked to admit.

There was much to be done to make the Capitol and the Districts into the way he saw fit and Coriolanus shouldn't waste more time than he already has.

Not even a day later he would have the files of everyone who chose to review. For some reason the late president did this— the threat of the Rebels was still very much a problem and he was of course scared shitless by them so all 'useful' information was of course turned into two paper pages that it was his duty to read through.

Coriolanus was just about to skim through them all but the very first file caught his attention, District One female tribute.

Not the girl's image he didn't even look at it properly, he already saw every tribute face on the reaping ceremony... all looked underfed and clearly not fit for an entertaining games in terms of pure brutal strength, the mentors would need to sell them well to the Capitol. No it was her name. Her last name rang a bell.

A big warning bell was inside his head and it made his eyebrows furrow, hand picked up the two-page long file and flipped through the description of her family. Something was amiss, he could feel it in his bones. Something was wrong. 

Coriolanus could almost feel the hunger tearing at his stomach, his small sweaty hand tightly gripping his equally moist cousin's hand as they received the news of his father's death.

His other small hand gripping the files of several names of supposed rebels that could be the reason behind his father's death. Blond hair falls against his sweaty forehead as at that time he didn't understand why he had to read the names of random men.

Brutus.

His hand grips the file on his hand, veins popping up as his eyes skim through the contents of the file, once and then twice. He didn't even sit down, reading in silence for 10 minutes over and over again to look out for another word, sentence, or anything more.

Only two people are still alive from her family— grandmother and little brother, Valeria Brutus and Menenius Brutus, then they got the last name from her grandfather. His hand moves the paper right and left, trying to see if her grandfather's first name was there. But it wasn't. It probably wasn't deemed to be useful information since he is dead. Putting the papers down he turns with a sigh to his window, chin rising as he looks to see all the perfectly arranged garden of pure white roses in the front of his mansion.

No this shouldn't matter. It didn't matter, not now. He got what he wanted he won, the victor. He was still standing with or without his father.

The nostalgic feeling of feeling hungry regrows once again and it makes him nauseous, sharp eyes turning to the face of the girl on the page. She looked like every other girl he reminds himself as he starts a little too long at her face. Eighteen, one more year and she should have been safe from the reaping.

A smile creeps on his lips. Amusement dancing in his eyes like he had just read a good enough joke.

He couldn't sleep.

Coriolanus hated to be in need of something even if it was just a simple pill to go to sleep. He was better than that, he could sleep alone thank you very much.

Couldn't he just get the information he wanted? He could, he had the resources, and he had the needs to if he so pleases, so why not?

No.

No, he wouldn't lose to this...whatever this is, curiosity, need— want to know. Closure.

Maybe that was it. Know the person or people that did this to him. To his family. The people that made him starve and struggle. Envy and step on people that he knew were living better than him, growing to bring them down so he could feel himself high above them all. Know the people that in a way, made him the way he is now.

Rising he presses the inside of his palms to his eyes.

For fucks sake— Shut the fuck up! 

His mouth was open. Eyes shot open and hands grabbing tightly the silk covers, knuckles turning white. Did he shout those words? Wasn't it all in his head? His hands were shaking, face was slightly flushed red from anger.

It's one of those episodes.

Rising he curses under his breath, feet carrying him to one of the small tables with some pills on them. Deep eyes thin as he tried to look into the colours of the various drugs that looked like they were thrown there and he picked a deep purple one in the midst of the rainbow and quickly gulped it down without water.

His attention is caught by the silver-like glow of the moonlight slipping through his windows, blue tired-looking eyes looking up at the sky, they find the stars instead of the moon that sings for attention. Wishing to catch a stray star amidst the ones that stay. Maybe he could catch it as it falls.

With those thoughts, sleep would soon catch him.

Previous

[silverskye13]

Hello! I'm one of your readers and admirers, been sending asks before too - it's just the topic makes me self-conscious.

You're writing very long and articulated things, with intricate details, and you're pretty darn good at it - so I believe you can give advice here. Do you ever feel discomfort/anxiety about writing long works in form like "it will take me ages to do it, and if I can't finish it will haunt me forever"? Do you have any methods of fighting it?

Oh hmm. Well! I used to have those anxieties yes. I haven't had them for a while. My method of fighting it is less of a fight, and more of a,,, change in perspective I suppose.

So, I don't go into any project assuming I will finish it.

Now, important note: I go into every project wanting to finish it. Most things I work on, especially long form things, have a finish line. I know generally how I want the story to go, and why, and I go into it knowing that it will change and evolve as the project continues. The finish line might get farther away, or rarely, closer, if I cut things down.

But I've stopped assuming something I start will ever get done.

This does a few things for me. Firstly, it takes away the guilt of "but if I don't finish! I won't be able to live with myself!" My goal was never to finish, so there is no guilt attached to not finishing.

[Well, that's a lie. I do feel a little guilty about unfinished projects, but it's "I should get back around to that someday" guilt, and not "this is a personal failing that is indicative of my character" guilt.]

The other thing that not starting a project purely to finish it does, is it recontextualizes your goals and rewards. The good feelings you get from working on the project, and making your shorter term goals, becomes the motivation to keep working on it, as opposed to a much farther away and more ephemeral end goal of "done someday."

If you have already made the goal of "done someday" on a long term project, and you have pinned your sense of success to it, the best advice I personally can give, is to unpin your sense of success from that far away point. That point might be years away, and while some people can definitely wait years for payoff, I, personally, can't. I need something closer and smaller. Otherwise I get worn down and tired, because I am slogging on something very emotionally taxing that isn't paying me back in any way. Why would I do that? That's very rude to myself! We don't suffer for art around here!

I would recommend instead, picking a closer point. If you're writing a long fic, pick a scene you really want to reach. [I pick several. If you ever hear me ramble about "story arcs" it's a product of this.] If you're making a comic, pick a scene, chapter/page number, or character introduction you're excited for. If you're making a video game, pick several programming or story milestones, etc.

Base your success on reaching those milestones. You will get your dopamine rush from Doing The Thing. Congratulate yourself! Bask in it! Celebrate the small milestone the same way you would the finish line. Buy a favorite treat, take the weekend off to rest, gush about it to your friends. It might feel silly the first few times you do it. That's fine! You're training your brain to appreciate milestones. Your brain will figure out what you're doing and get with the program.

Aside from milestone goals, I think it's also good to remember, a project is never abandoned if you don't want it to be? Like, really embrace that idea. Unless some fortune teller has divined the exact date and time of your death, for all you know, you have ten, twenty, hell, fifty years to finish your project. Long Term Project has no end date [unless you are professionally publishing something with a company, in which case, you have negotiated your end date with a client.] You can say "I'm tired of this for now", drop it and come back later. You aren't a failure for needing a break -- even if that break spans years, and you pick up 3 more long term projects in between. I have been working on a webcomic for 3 years now. It has 30 pages, and I take 6 months breaks in between working on it. I don't see that as a personal failing.

I don't know, I feel like this is getting a bit incoherent. Long story short: most people's anxieties about long term projects [and their ability to finish them] have to do with being deeply unkind to themselves, I feel. You aren't a publishing house. You aren't a TV show producer. You aren't a film director. You are one person, working on something potentially massive. Recognize that will take time. Recognize taking your time isn't a bad thing. Recognize you might need to take breaks -- long ones. Recognize that you need sustaining goals that are small yes, smaller than finishing, but also deeply, deeply important. And also recognize if you can't finish your long term project? That's not a moral failing. You're allowed to walk down the road with an idea, love it to bits, and then change enough as a person through the process, that it no longer serves you. And then you can drop it.

Do not make the end goal of a long project your finish line. If you do, every project you don't finish is a disappointment. Make finishing the project the happy accident that came from working on it long enough.

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova and Enolio. I also do not condone the beliefs or actions of Coriolanus or Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova fights to get herself back.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: THIS IS A DARK CHAPTER. It contains violence, mentions of murder, suicide, and torture, death, weapons, and swearing

A/n: i’m sorry this took so long to get out🥲🥲i’m gonna try to update this series more often

Coriolanus felt as if his body was turning to ice. 

He barely managed to refrain from trembling in fear. His life could be ended with a flick of Bellova’s wrist if he didn’t think fast enough. 

He decided against trying to play coy. He knew that would only infuriate her more, and lead to his demise.

“I can explain,” he said as gently as he could. 

Bellova’s cold laughter echoed in his ears, making him shudder in her painfully tight grasp. Her sharp nails dug into his pale complexion, slowly but surely breaking through the first layers of skin.

“I would love to hear your reasoning as to why you thought ruining my life would be a wise choice,” she replied. She was beyond angry, which Coriolanus knew was bad news for him. 

“Where did you get-“

“The knife?” Bellova chuckled lowly, dragging the sharp edge back-and-forth across Coriolanus’s neck, applying just enough pressure to make him gasp. “When you took all of the weapons from my room, you didn’t check underneath my bed. I hid a blade tucked in the frame in case of emergencies. And this seemed like a fitting time to use it.”

Coriolanus swallowed. His throat felt like it had been replaced by sandpaper. 

“How did you…become you again?”

“I don’t know. Everything was a blur. I felt like I was pulled out of a fever dream and back to reality.”

Bellova let go of him, only to spin him around and hold her blade right above his heart. “Now, you’re going to explain exactly what the fuck you did to me. The last thing I remember was being stabbed in the neck by a syringe, and collapsing on the floor of your office. Clearly, you took my mind hostage and took control of everything in my life.”

Coriolanus backed up, but Bellova was relentless. She grabbed him by the neck and shoved hard, pressing him up against the wall. Her lips curled into a sneer. 

He had forgotten just how terrifying she could be.

“I deserve an explanation, and I intend to get it. Then, once I’m satisfied, I’m going to kill you, as slowly and painfully as I can.”

Somehow, her violent threat snapped him out of his fearful mindset.

He could easily physically overpower her. He was now stronger than her, thanks to his time as a peacekeeper. During their Academy days, Bellova had prided herself in her physical strength. Though she appeared harmless, with a few well-placed blows, she could bring almost anyone to their knees. He was always envious of that ability, as he couldn’t match it. He was too malnourished to even try.

But now, he was properly fed and had developed a significant amount of muscle during his peacekeeper training. 

He could kill her with his bare hands if he wanted to. 

And right now, he really fucking wanted to.

But he knew it wasn’t the right choice. He had to play her game first.

With faux reluctance, Coriolanus told Bellova everything. How he’d used Dr. Gaul’s serum to alter her mind, how he’d killed her father and taken over the Reginelle family’s resources, how he’d gotten her closest friends arrested. 

He was practically able to see the cogs in her mind working. Her eyes, which once again contained the fierceness that Coriolanus had worked so hard to erase, were filing with angry tears. 

He flinched as he felt his cheek meet the palm of her hand harshly. He wasn’t surprised that she’d slapped him, but it was still irritating. She really was a bitch. 

“You’re a fucking snake, Coriolanus Snow,” she hissed, wrapping one of her hands around his throat and bringing the tip of her knife closer to his heart. “Say goodbye to everything you’ve accomplished, none of it will matter once I’m through with you.”

Bellova raised the blade, ready to begin creating morbid lacerations her “fiancé’s” perfect skin. 

But as her hand came down, Coriolanus reached out and grabbed her wrist, effectively stopping the motion. Before she could squirm away, he ripped the weapon out of her hand. His temper flared, and he shoved her to the hard marble floor, making her cry out in pain. She tried to scramble away, but he was on top of her before she could get back on her feet. 

Bellova opened her mouth to scream, but Coriolanus muffled the noise with his large hand. “Scream again and I’ll end you, you dumb bitch,” he snarled in her face. He grabbed the ends of her hair and tugged harshly, and she let out a quiet whine. She kept squirming wildly, trying to escape him, but she was trapped. He had her pinned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bellova asked, her face flushed with panic and fury. “You’ve already done enough damage, why won’t you just let me be?”

“You know too much,” he sneered, intensifying his grip in her hair. She whimpered, silent tears streaming down her face. “I can’t have you exposing all of my endeavors, it would ruin my reputation and my blossoming career.”

“So you took over my head and ruined my life just to keep me quiet?“

Coriolanus laughed darkly. “You’re acting like you wouldn’t do the same if you were in my shoes.”

“Oh, shut u-“

He didn’t hesitate to smack her across the face, grinning as she cringed from the pain. “Now, my darling fiancée, this can go one of two ways. Either you stop fighting me and accept your fate, or I kill you and tell everyone in the Capitol you committed suicide. Which will it be?”

Bellova looked defeated. Coriolanus smirked, satisfied with the fact that he’d finally gotten his way. 

Then, she spit in his face. 

“I’ll never live under your rule, Snow,” she sneered. “I’d rather die.”

Coriolanus was extremely tempted to use Bellova‘s own knife to torture her slowly, dragging out her pain until her body couldn’t take it anymore. However, he knew that one of the servants or Avoxes in the estate would hear her screams, and he’d be caught red-handed.

So, he settled for knocking her out with a punch to her temple. 

Picking her up, Coriolanus threw her onto the bed unceremoniously. He cursed silently, storming into his closet and pulling on an outfit as quickly as possible. He walked out of the room and hurried down the stairs, throwing on a coat and grabbing his satchel. 

“I’m going to the Citadel. Emergency meeting with Dr. Gaul,” he told Enolio. “Don’t enter Bellova’s room, she’s had a rough night and her sleep must not be disturbed. If I hear that you defied my order, I’ll get you fired. Understood?”

Enolio looked pissed, but nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

Coriolanus rushed out of the building and climbed into one of Bellova’s many family cars before the driver could open the door for him. 

“Take me to the Citadel, get me there as fast as you can.”

The driver gulped, and started the car. Like many of the workers at the Reginelle estate, he got nervous when the Snow heir was around. 

Coriolanus knew he tended to have that effect on people, which he greatly enjoyed. 

He’d never get tired of seeing people’s eyes widen in fear when they realized he was about to end their careers lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dr. Gaul?”

Coriolanus’s voice echoed through the empty lab. The only living beings in sight were mutations, which chirped, hissed, and mewled quietly in their cages.

“Back here, Mr. Snow.”

He followed the doctor’s voice until he spotted her at the very back of the lab. She was staring at a couple of sketched designs, both of which were labeled as mutts to include the next Hunger Games. 

“I need help,” Coriolanus said, hanging his satchel on the back of a chair. “It’s Bellova. She’s back to her old self.”

“And how exactly did that happen?” The doctor’s voice was deadly quiet, making Coriolanus fidget uncomfortably.

“I-I don’t know. I went to go shower, and when I went back to her bedroom, she attacked me with a knife. I knocked her out after a bit of a struggle, and I came here.” 

Dr. Gaul frowned, her horrifying eyes narrowing. “Perhaps she finally was able to fight the altercations the serum made to her mind, and regain control.” 

“Maybe,” Coriolanus said. “But I need to get her back under. I can’t have her telling everyone about…about everything I’ve done.” 

Dr. Gaul sighed, setting down her papers. “Bring her here tomorrow morning. Once she wakes she will undoubtedly be hostile, so you’ll need to threaten her with violence to get her to comply. By the time she arrives in my lab, I will have an experimental room ready specifically to perform tests on her.”

“What tests?“

The doctor grinned crookedly. “We will see if she can be persuaded to behave the way you want. If so, we can keep her off the serum. But if not, we will keep her here until I develop a new formula that will keep her mind malleable and vulnerable, allowing you to have full control.”

“And what if neither of those work?”

Dr. Gaul shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Then we will dispose of her. We can’t have anything getting in the way of your success, can we, Mr. Snow?”

Coriolanus smirked. 

“No, we certainly can’t.” 

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy, @effectwalker, @vxnilla-hxrddrugs, @mystargirl-interlude

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments! It may take me a bit to write the next chapter, and the story will start having longer, more frequent time skips, because we’ll be getting into Coriolanus’s career as a Gamemaker, and then his transition into politics.

Also, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

[empressofthewind]

Hi! I've been rereading some of your meta posts and I really enjoy hearing your opinions. I don't know if you've talked about this before, but why do you think Near said "If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you are just a loser"? Does he really think L is a loser? (I don't remember if that line is in the manga, but it's in the anime). And thanks again for your awesome posts :)

Hi Ray!!! Thank you so much, I'm really glad you enjoy them 🥰💕 this line IS also in the manga, and I don't think I've talked about it before but it's definitely something I've thought about! If you take Volume 13 as canon, then there is technically an answer to this, which you can see on the top line here (I've also typed it out in the image description if the text is too small/grainy to read):

This WOULD imply that Near actually thinks L is a loser, so take that as you will lmao. Personally I'm inclined to disagree with this, for two reasons. Firstly, he doesn't seem to extend this way of thinking to Mello when he dies for the same case (or anyone else, for that matter). If he thought dying at Kira's hands made L a loser, then he should theoretically apply that same principle to everyone who died for the case. Secondly, he does seem to have some level of respect for L, although I waver on exactly how much that is - but if he really thought L was just a loser, I don't think he'd wear a mask of his face, keep L's puppet on his finger during his final speech and rule out a potential plan on the basis that "it would be an insult to L".

However, I've included this entire excerpt from his profile because I think there are some other lines here that actually give a few extra clues about what's going on with this line. It's notable to me that three of the four quotes on there have very similar phrasing; "you're nothing but a loser", "you just have to say sorry", "you are just a murderer". He has this way of talking about things that reads as almost a bit dismissive? I don't get the impression that he is actually as impassive as he comes across, especially because the way he talks about Mello is always SO passionate and emotive, but rather I think this is just his way of rationalising things. He breaks them up into smaller parts or metaphors in his head, which makes it easier for him to think about them logically. He weighs up the risks and benefits of everything he does, he's very particular about deciding whether something or someone is worth his time, and I get the impression that he has a fairly symbolic way of thinking which helps him work through real-world dilemmas and keeps him from becoming overwhelmed.

So with that in mind, my interpretation of this line is that he compares the Kira case to a game or a puzzle, and thus instead of having to grapple with L's death, he thinks of it like losing a game. It's similar to him making puppets to represent people in his real life, knocking over his dice tower while most of the SPK members are collapsing around him and tipping out his puzzle while he delivers the line in question. This is also reflected throughout the rest of the series in the way he talks about the Kira case. He very consistently refers to the investigation as a game and thinks of it in terms of winning or losing, which I think makes it easier for him to reconcile with the consequences. The moment he learns about L's death, he knows there's an incredibly high chance that he will have to take over the case himself, and at this point, he's 13 with presumably zero real-world detective experience; only whatever training Wammy's House put them through. So if the world's best detective - who's been in that line of work for 15 years and has solved every case he's ever taken on - just died trying to solve this one, it has very scary implications for Near and Mello. Thus, while I honestly don't think he was as cut up about L's death as Mello and Roger were, it certainly wasn't good news, and thinking of it this way makes it easier for him to process.

I hope this makes sense!! Thanks again for the compliments, these are always my favourite posts to make :-)

[gx-gameon]

Yugi adopting Jaden part 2

Start - next

Yugi and Solomon talk the whole night. Planning out how they can do this and the practicality of it. (Where will Jaden sleep? Do they have the money? Can Yugi continue going to college?) a lot of hard conversations but Yugi is determined.

Solomon is so proud of his grandson but also sad in that Yugi is only 18. He’s always had so much pressure on him, and now that he’s free to be a young adult he is choosing to take in a child. Solomon couldn’t be more proud but this is a sacrifice. One Yugi is willing choosing to make.

Yugi gets all the paper work in order. He’s looked up everything he needs and knows this is going to be a long process, but before he can start it there is someone he needs to talk to.

He goes to the orphanage the next day and tells them that he wants to adopt. And they laugh at him at first, he is very young. Yugi shakes it off and continues, “I’d like to adopt Jaden Yuki.” No one is laughing now. They are looking at him like a man walking towards his death and Yugi is so curious to know why that is the reaction this gets. But he can’t ask because they are moving so fast.

Jaden is dragged in by one of the adults. They’re dragging the poor boy, his arm caught in a far to tight grip, and Yugi wants nothing more than to take Jaden far away from here. But he still needs to do something.

Jaden looks up at him and his expression goes from fear to excitement. “Yugi!” The adults get mad at him telling him to ‘be respectful’ and call him ‘Mr. Mouto.’

Yugi tells them to leave it and walks over to Jaden. He kneels down in front of the boy and tells him. “Jaden I have a question for you. And you can tell me no. But I want to adopt you. Are you okay with that?” Yugi wants this to be Jaden’s choice.

The boy doesn’t even think about it. He launches himself into Yugi sobbing, “yes! Please!” And Yugi just scoops the boy up holding him close. He stand up with Jaden still in his arms, the boys little arms wrapped around his neck and his little face buried in Yugi’s neck. He moves to sign whatever papers they need. He asks how long it will be before he can take Jaden with him, there’s a process to this, and no matter how much he wants to take Jaden and run he knows he has to do this the right way.

But the orphanage says he can take him today. When Yugi asks about home visits or check ins they tell him “not to worry.” Or “ there won’t be any of those.” And okay, either this is the worst orphanage ever or they really want to be rude of Jaden.

Yugi takes Jaden back upstairs to his little cubby of a room. (It’s so small, Yugi can’t imagine a child living here) and gather all of Jaden’s possessions. There aren’t main to grab. Then Yugi scoops his boy back up and walks out of that orphanage forever. He doesn’t put Jaden down again until they reach Domino. (Holding him through the walk through town and the train ride)

They make their way to Kame Game shop where Solomon is able to meet his new greatgrandson. And instantly the old man is spoiling the little boy rotten. They give him Yugi’s mom’s room. After Yugi graduated high school his mom moved out to live with his dad in America, so the room is open. Jaden is thrilled to have his own space.

And so they settle the little boy in for the next few days. It is in the first night that Yugi learns that Jaden has horrific nightmares. Things the little boy can’t remember when he wakes up. But both the spirits of Silent Magician and Dark Magician Girl are telling Yugi that his dreams have to do with the spirit world. Which is weird because Jaden can’t see spirits, and has no magic signature. It’s almost like he’s been cut off from that realm…

Jaden wakes up screaming the first night and Yugi goes to check on him. Jaden asks if Yugi will stay with him. He feels safe when Yugi is around, and how can Yugi refuse after that. This is how it goes for the first few nights.

Yugi eventually gets tired of having more questions than answers and looks into Jaden’s past. But it’s empty. His medical records, school records, even the boys birth certificate is missing the parents names. Yugi has no idea how that is even possible. So he goes to the only person who might be able to help him find some answers.

He leaves Jaden with Solomon tell them he’ll be back in a few hours, and he heads to Kaiba Corp. if anyone can find Jaden’s files it’s the Kaiba brothers.

But when he gets there Mokuba is in a panic. It’s been a month since Seto launched himself into the afterlife and he’s still not back yet.

Yugi arrives and is brought to Mokuba. He’s about to ask for help when Mokuba cuts him off. “I was just about to send for you. You have to help me Yugi. Seto wanted to duel the Pharaoh again so he built this machine that lets him travel between dimensions. But he left a month ago and he’s not back yet. I’ve got this new way to get him but I can’t go after him because I don’t have a connection to ancient Egypt. But you do. Please you have to help me find Seto!”

And Yugi is going through it. What do you mean. Seto built a machine to go duel Atem again? A week ago he would have left in that moment, but he can’t now. He’s got Jaden. If he doesn’t come back what happens to Jaden?

Mokuba can see Yugi hesitating and he begs him again. “Please I can’t lose my brother.” And Yugi knows he’s going, but he needs to take care of Jaden first.

“I’ll go Mokuba but I need you to do something for me while I’m gone.” Yugi explains already making a mental plan.

“Anything!” Mokuba is so releaved that Yugi is going after Seto. But he is a little surprised at Yugi’s request. It’s not like Yugi to ask for favors in return, though he did come here on his own, he probable needed something and that’s why he arrived at Kaiba Corp.

Yugi explains Jaden and their situation. “You see I adopted a four year old named Jaden Yuki.” Mokuba’s world goes side ways. Yugi adopted a kid? Why?

“Why?” Mokuba can’t help but ask. And he kinda wishes he didn’t once Yugi explains the situation to him. The knows exactly how poorly and orphanage can treat the kids it houses. He’s so amazed that Yugi adopted a kid. When Yugi asks him to look into Jaden’s past. That all the records are blocked, sealed, or destroyed. Mokuba is all over it. “You can count on me!”

Yugi knows he can but there is something else he has to do before he leaves. “Thank you Mokuba. Give me a few hours to make sure Jaden is taken care of, then I’ll be ready to go.” Mokuba agrees easily. As much as he wants Seto back he knows this is important to. He even offers to have Jaden stay with him at Kaiba Corp while Yugi is away. Yugi takes him up in the offer but wants some one else with them. If Jaden is drawling the attention of the spirit world in his dreams, Yugi doesn’t want to leave him without having and experiences duelist there to watch over his son.

So he calls Joey.

“Hey pal! Long time no see. What you go to college and become to good for your old friend Wheeler?” Yugi can hear the joking tone Joey is putting forward, but he can also hear the hurt in his voice and it’s now that he realizes that he’s hasn’t called Joey since he started meeting Jaden in the park. The little boy really absorbed Yugi’s world and he hasn’t told anyone about him.

Yugi feels awful. It’s not like him to leave behind a friend. With Téa in America and Tristian working at his father’s business he knows Joey had to be feeling as alone as he has. But he’s been so distracted by school and Jaden he hasn’t reach out in almost two months. “Joey I’m really sorry that I haven’t called you but I need your help. Can you meet me at the game shop?”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Joey doesn’t ask any follow up questions. If Yugi needs him, he’ll be there. Sure their relationship has been experiencing some growing pains with Yugi in college and Joey trying to make it as a pro-duelist, but Yugi is still his best friend.

Yugi runs home, Joey hung up right after he told him he’d be there so Yugi didn’t get to tell him he wasn’t home. Yugi gets home to see Joey waiting outside for him.

“Yugi what’s up? Gramps made me wait outside and everything. Whats going on?” Joey moves towards Yugi as soon as he sees him. Whatever this was, it was big.

When he showed up, Gramps had asked him if he had talked to Yugi. When Joey responded with ‘ya he asked me to meet him here.’ Gramps had looked at him and asked ‘so you know?’ Joey responding with ‘know what?’ Probably wasn’t his best response, considering Gramps had immediately chased him out of the store.

He was worried. He had thought all the fate of the world crap was behind them. But if Yugi was being targeted again Joey would stand by his side, there’s no doubt about it

“Joey I-” Yugi has no idea how to explain what’s going on. He takes a deep breath. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” Joey’s ready for anything. His mind is run through the options. Evil cult, already beat one. Ancient culture come to destroy them, done that twice. Kaiba being a jerk, when isn’t he. Whatever it is they can handle it.

“Alright well it all started about 2 months ago.” Yugi proceeds to tell Joey about how he met Jaden. How people treated him. How Yugi started spending time with the kid. How he started to care and eventually adopted the kid.

“You adopted him?!” Joey had been just as upset as Yugi was upon hearing how people treated the little boy. But he was shocked by Yugi’s decision. It was a big decision after all. Huge! But Joey couldn’t see his little buddy doing anything different, and he knows that Yugi thought this decision out way more than he would have. So there is only one thing he can say. “Well what are we standing outside for? Can I meet him?”

Yugi had been ready for any number of lectures. He’s 18 and he just adopted a kid. Joey could have named any number of reasons why that was a bad idea. But instead Joey just wanted to meet Yugi’s son. He was so luck to have such a good best friend.

Continue here

[enobariasdistrict2]

so to live up to my url here are some eno thoughtsTM. some of these ideas might be familiar from @bodyelectric77 or @clatoera 's thoughts on her i just add my own vibes

she is an only child because i do not see her with siblings, but she would also be a snarky gay aunt to very specific tributes like clove. think of the vibes from always remember we're burned for better by clatoera

she's a Girls' Girl but in the District 2 way. she has a soft spot for the academy girls, the boys get enough attention so she doesnt care for them as much but she sees the girls, especially the little ones like clove, proving themselves to be ruthless fighters and going after what they want despite being smaller than average and therefore underestimated.

this is not a girl who dates men by the way idc. training keeps careers busy and only a select few actually choose to engage in teenage things like dating, eno was not one of those. she starts engaging more with the fact that she likes girls - which she was always aware of but didn't really focus or care about - after her Games.

her and cashmere became really good friends, had a fling, and then it kept happening every Games to the point where it occurred pretty much occurred to both of them that they have like. Serious Feelings

the teeth weren't to avoid trafficking, she doesn't have that information. some stylist likely thought "hey this would be cool" and did it while eno was unconscious (this tracks since haymitch had to fight against katniss's chest being modified while she was under). eno was a little stunned/out of it/in shock so when she wakes up she doesn't have any kind of emotional reaction and kind of rolls with it. she's in a numbed out state anyways and by the time it occurs to her that maybe what the capitol did to her is fucked up, it's like, well she's a winner and she gets to keep her life what does it matter what they did (it does but she can't admit that to herself)

snow is repulsed by her because of his own cannibalism trauma. much like katniss eno doesn't understand why the dude has it out for her. she doesn't like him either but she's unsure what his problem with her is.

she and her parents obviously never had the same relationship again, i don't know how you come back from watching your kid rip out someone's throat. the visits get less and less frequent until one day she literally just stops and they settle for a sparse monthly phone call at that point

enobaria definitely mentors because it keeps her connected to what she always truly enjoyed, training and working out. she's actually really good at teaching and can do tough love with a balance of caring.

her saying "good job" to a Tribute she's mentoring is basically her version of a hug.

her favorite would have been clove (shes not gonna say this shit out loud btw but it's just... obvious) and then cato's her second choice to win. even if clove was the one she preferred cato's death was a little more messed up for her because at least clove didn't have to suffer for as long as he did. after cato's death she started doing more midnight workouts because every time she closed her eyes to sleep she saw those mutts chewing on him and flashing back to her own teeth going in some kid.

she stumbles into the mockingjay sector and of course has to hear her parents' screams which sucks but she knows logically that the capitol didn't do shit to them because she never gave them a reason to. then the mockingjays start playing clove's screams for cato and cato being tortured by mutts and that's even worse. eno doesn't react like katniss does because careers have better emotional control/training to deal with that kind of torture, but it still pisses her off to be reminded of the kids she failed.

[ilguna]

☼ deadly pt1 (Johanna Mason) ☼

summary; you and Johanna join the star squad to invade the capitol.

warnings; swearing, death, death mention, gun use and mention, gore, blood, classic hunger games stuff.

wc; 6k

part two, part three, part four.

–

“Johanna Mason, report for assessment.” 

You turn, grabbing her hand before she has a chance to get up and go. She’s expressionless, but you can feel the anxiety radiating off of her. If District Thirteen is going to be targeting your weaknesses during the test, you have a pretty good idea on what they might do to Johanna.

“Remember, deep breaths.” You squeeze her hand, “You’ll want to freak out, but you can hold it in. You’re in control.”

“I know.” She says, a small smile at the corners of her lips, “I’ll see you on the other side.” She leans over, holding your face to give you a quick kiss. 

You let go of her hand, allowing her to head into the back room. As soon as she disappears, you take a deep breath. You know that she’s able to do this, Johanna’s brave and she’ll power through, no matter how uncomfortable she is. She’s passed all the other tests up until this point too, but that was lightwork. If what Katniss heard is true, then there’s more in store for her. 

District Thirteen will target what happened in the Capitol, and it’s a very touchy subject for Johanna. She’ll talk about it to you, because she knows that you’re there to support her. With Finnick, it’s a whole new ordeal. She’ll talk about it in bits and pieces, she just won’t go into detail about it. And Finnick is her best friend.

You rub your hands together, leaning forward, counting down the time until it’s your turn to go inside of the Block. It’s a stage set up to look like the streets of the Capitol, it’s pretty big and it’s as accurate as it can get. You’ve been through the Block already for the group training, but you never really had a chance to take a look around. You were too worried about your teammates and what they were doing.

This time, you won’t get much of a chance either. You’re all going in by yourselves to allow the analyzers a real chance at seeing how you work. Which means you’ll have to be on your toes the entire time, there won’t be any opportunity to stand and admire the area. 

Another name is called, you watch as he goes through the door and it shuts behind him. There’s no specific order they’re taking people, you could be here a while. In the meantime, you take deep breaths and try to calm the electricity you’re feeling in your fingertips, anxious to get it over and done with.

The time ticks away, you can hear as Katniss occasionally adjusts on her seat. You can imagine she’s more worried than you are. She’s expected to perform well, she’s got the whole country looking at her. As for you, you’re a little rusty on the whole survival thing, considering Johanna volunteered for you at the reaping to keep you safe. 

You were mad at her for it, because you wish you could’ve been able to protect her from the Capitol. She’s more outspoken than you are in some areas, and you’re sure they would’ve thought you were useless compared to her. You settled for being her mentor in the Capitol, and got lucky that Haymitch grabbed you before he left with Plutarch.

You remember sitting in that hovercraft, waiting for them to grab Johanna and Peeta, and then watching the doors shut. The urge to throw up and scream at the same time, because you were leaving her behind. You managed to allow Haymitch to explain himself, saying that she’ll be okay, but you knew better. The Capitol would have a field day with her.

You thought, at the very least, that Finnick would be able to help you get through the next few weeks without her. Or that you’d bond in some was with Katniss because Peeta was also in the Capitol, but it didn’t happen. Finnick might as well have been in a coma, because he was never awake longer for five minutes because of his depression with Annie. And Katniss was losing it herself.

You were left with Beetee in the armory, watching him create new gadgets for District Thirteen to use on the Capitol. Coin started by giving you a schedule to follow, she stopped as soon as she realized that you weren’t in the capacity to follow it by any means. You tried, you really did. You were just so slow when it came to moving to do things, showing up late, low effort. She eventually allowed you to sit with Beetee, hoping that some of the life would return to you.

It didn’t, not until they had gone to rescue the half of the victors that they left to be captured. That’s when everyone really came to life, because you’d be able to see your other half. You tried to volunteer to go and be part of the rescue team, but you were denied because of your behavior before, afraid that you’d drag the team down. Instead, you were left to sit in that room with Finnick and Katniss, awaiting the return of your Johanna.

You have her back now, and that’s all that matters anymore.

“(Y/n) (L/n), report for individual assessment.”

“Good luck.” Katniss breathes.

“You too.”

You get up from where you sit, heading toward the door with your head raised. The door opens just wide enough for you to fit through, and shuts automatically. You can hear the lock turn and bolt once it’s against the doorframe. You take one last deep breath, before gathering your supplies and stepping past the line on the floor to get started.

Immediately, your squadron leader, who is nothing but a voice in your earpiece, tells you that you and your squad are looking for surrendering Capitol citizens. You’re instructed to only take in those who can tell you the code that was given over the radio. If they can’t, you have to leave them behind.

It’s pretty simple and straightforward. You navigate the streets with ease, remembering the path you took before to get to the exit. On the way, you’re caught by peacekeepers several times, and manage to escape unscathed each time. There’s a few survivors out, and you accept a few and turn down others. They’re dressed in regular District Thirteen clothes, you were kinda hoping they’d look like the Capitol citizens. 

You were sure that you’d suck by yourself, since you relied on your teammates to tell you when a threat was coming up. A few of them would step on landmines, or forget to put on their gas masks. You barely got through those, so when you got the recommendation to go through this—the official test—you thought it would be a mistake.

You jump in the air when an explosion shakes the ground. You round the corner, trying to figure out the point of the blast, and find the alleyway filled with smoke. You duck behind the wall, watching and waiting to see if it’ll clear, but when it doesn’t, you realize that you’re meant to go through the smoke.

To be safe, you pull your gas mask over your face before heading into the cloud, being wary of where you step, looking for the threat. Halfway, you met with someone laying on the ground. You aim your gun at him for a minute, but when he lifts his head, you see that he’s got the mark of your squad on his clothes.

“Help me.” He wheezes, “Please.”

There’s a pool of blood underneath him, and you can see that his vest is missing, he’s been shot several times between his chest and abdomen.

“Where’s your vest?” You ask, lowering the gun and getting to your knees, “You’re not supposed to take it off.”

“I gave it to a child, she led me to…” He winces, letting out a strangled noise, “Please take me with you.”

Right as you’re about to help, the voice in your ear calmly tells you to leave him behind, it’s not safe to take him. Your face twists, shaking your head, going to unbuckle your backpack, when your fingers freeze in place. You press your lips together. This is your test.

You save people, you’ve been saving people since you were reaped for your Games. It’s a curse that’s been running through your family for years. If you can help, then you do, because it’s what's saved your family several times over. It's what makes you trustworthy and hardworking, and it pays off. It’s the reason why you’re still alive, because you saved someone in the arena, and in turn they sacrificed their life for yours.

You force your hands to let go of the buckle, shaking your head, “I can’t.”

“Please, no, please don’t go!” He begins to shout, “Don’t go! Take me with you!”

You get to your feet, prepping the gun in your hand again, knowing that his pleas are drawing attention to your position. And sure enough, as soon as you make it out of the smoke, you see just how many peacekeepers were coming for you. And in them is a little girl, soot wiped across her face, big eyes. She’s wearing the bulletproof vest, and she has a gun in her hand.

You escape the area, and make it to the other side of the Block with little to no complications. The door is unlocked, you swing it open and step out, and you’re met with congratulations. The soldier grabs your hand, and stamps the back of it, telling you to go to Command.

You take off the vest and gun, setting it in a pile with the rest of the armor. After, you make your way to Command, where Plutarch and Beetee hang out the most often. On the way, you ball your hands into fists, trying to tell yourself that helping others isn’t a weakness, even if they think so.

By the time you reach Command, you’re feeling a little better. When you walk inside, you’re met with several familiar faces, including Johanna and Finnick. They give you a big smile, but when Johanna opens her arms, you hug her tightly. Her breath is shaky in your ear.

You pull away, “Did they use it against you?”

She tilts her head at you, “Guess.”

“You made it through, though.” You touch her face.

“Barely.”

“It’s already a big step.” You tell her, “I’m proud of you.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and then Finnick clears his throat, “So what’d they use against you?”

“Kindness.” You say, and don’t elaborate further. 

It’s not long after when Katniss is entering the room. She’s got a smile on her face when she sees you standing around the table. With her being the last member, Plutarch launches into a speech on what you’ll be encountering in the Capitol. He presses a button and a holograph of a part of the Capitol projects, allowing you to see better.

“This, for example, is the area surrounding one of the Peacekeepers’ barracks. Not unimportant, but not the most crucial of targets, and yet look.” Plutarch enters a code, and flashing colors appear, “Each light is called a pod. It represents a different obstacle, the nature of which could be anything from a bomb to a band of mutts. Make no mistake, whatever it contains is designed to either trap or kill you. Some have been in place since the Dark days, others developed over the years. To be honest, I created a fair number myself. This program, which one of our people absconded with when we left the Capitol is our most recent information. They won’t know we have it. But even so, it’s likely that new pods have been activated in the last few months. This is what you will face.”

Silence comes over the room, you can’t find any words to speak. You’re expected to go into the Capitol and be surrounded by traps that could kill you if Snow designed it to. Katniss is the first to move forward, stopping in front of the projection. As if possessed, you, Johanna and Finnick end up next to her, seeing just how many of those pods there are. Katniss cups a rapidly flashing green one in her hands.

Johanna might have saved you from the Quarter Quell, but this will be a whole new nightmare. There’s a hundred of them on this projection alone, which means there are thousands inside of the city that you’ll be navigating through. And hundreds more that are not yet part of the technology. 

Finnick reaches out to touch a red one, “Ladies and gentlemen…” he murmurs.

“Let the Seventy-sixth Hunger Games begin!” Katniss shouts, and then a laugh comes from her after.

You are not laughing, though. The look you share with Johanna is full of worry and nausea. You can see her retreating, the idea of getting captured and the possibilities of what they’ll do to her this time is endless. You don’t think she should go, as much as she wants to.

“I don’t even know why you bothered to put us victor’s through training, Plutarch.” Katniss says.

“Yeah, we’re already the four best-equipped soldiers you have.” Finnick adds with a grin.

“Do not think that fact escapes me,” He waves his hand, “Now back in line, Soldiers. I have a presentation to finish.”

The four of you resume where you were standing before you moved. Plutarch continues talking about the pods. There’s a point where it zooms out from one block, allowing you to see several more. Too many pods take over the screen, you grit your teeth, thinking about how many people they’ll be sending into the Capitol. How many of them are going to die? Are they going to have this technology too? Or are they going to go in blind?

The meeting finishes, and you’re allowed to leave. You grab Johanna’s hand, and she squeezes hard. The two of you wait in the hallway for Katniss and Finnick, who look just as terrified as you feel.

“What will I tell Annie?” Finnick whispers.

“Nothing,” Katniss says. “That’s what my mother and sister will be hearing from me.”

“If she sees that holograph—” He begins.

“She won’t.” Johanna shakes her head, “It’s classified information. It has to be.”

“Anyway, it’s not like an actual Games.” Katniss says, “Any number of people will survive. We’re just overreacting because—well, you know why. You still want to go, don’t you?”

“Of course. I want to destroy Snow as much as you do.” Finnick says, two pairs of eyes go between you and Johanna.

You don’t want Johanna to go in there, and you don’t want to go either, for that matter. It’s too dangerous, and you just survived the Capitol. The last thing you want is to throw yourself into another round of danger. This time is worse than the last, because it’s unpredictable.

“Well, obviously.” Johanna says. You know that’s her speaking, and not some facade that she’s putting up. Her hatred for the man has only grown since her time in the Capitol.

Now it’s your turn. You force a smile, “Let’s give him what he deserves.”

Katniss nods firmly, “It won’t be like the others. This time Snow will be a player, too.”

Haymitch comes to talk after that, and confirms that he and Beetee will stay here in District Thirteen, while the rest of you go out there. You want to tell him that it’s unfair that he’ll be here safe and sound, while the rest of you go out there, but decide that’s a fight for someone else.

Katniss leaves to go outside during her reflection, Finnick goes to see Annie, and then you’re left there standing with Johanna.

“We’re screwed, aren’t we?” You ask.

She smiles, “You know it, babe.”

—

The next few days are nothing but a blur that you try to keep a grasp on. You’re constantly in the armory, training in the shooting range to make sure that you have a grasp on the gun you’ll be using outside. For an hour a day, you get to use the specialty weapons that Beetee’s designed for each of you.

For Katniss it’s her bow with explosive arrows, with Finnick it’s his throwable trident that returns to his hand if he presses a button on his cuff. You and Johanna have a similar design with axes, blades sharp but the weapon is light.

You’ve also learned about the people you’ll be going in with. Boggs is the man that Katniss seems to be pretty close with already. He’ll be your guide and command in the Capitol. His second is Jackson, a middle-aged woman that does wonders with a scope. There’s the Leeg sisters, who are twins and nearly impossible to tell apart, they’re around the same age as you, Johanna and Finnick. Then there’s Mitchell and Homes, they’re older but their sharpshooting skills are up there with Jackson.

This morning, Plutarch joins you, “Squad Four-Five-One, you have been selected for a special mission,” he begins. “We have numerous sharpshooters, but rather a dearth of camera crews. Therefore, we’ve handpicked the ten of you to be what we call our ‘Star Squad.’ You will be the on-screen faces of the invasion.”

The relief that goes through you is comforting. You will still be in danger in the Capitol, but it should be less than before. However, you think you’re the only one that feels this way.

“What you’re saying is, we won’t be in actual combat.” Gale snaps. He’s Katniss’ friend from District Twelve, something about them hunting every week together to feed their families. They’re close.

“You will be in combat, but perhaps not always on the front line. If one can even isolate a front line in this type of war.” Plutarch says.

“None of us wants that.” Finnick remarks, a few people agree, “We’re going to fight.”

“You’re going to be as useful to the war effort as possible,” Plutarch says, not worried about their feelings. “And it’s been decided that you are of most value on television. Just look at the effect Katniss had running around in that Mockingjay suit. Turned the whole rebellion around. Do you notice how she’s the only one not complaining? It’s because she understands the power of that screen.”

Your mouth twitches.

“But it’s not all pretend, is it?” Katniss asks. “That’d be a waste of talent.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of real targets to hit. But don’t get blown up. I’ve got enough on my plate without having to replace you. Now get to the Capitol and put on a good show.”

The morning you ship out, you manage to convince them to let you outside in the woods for a little bit to get some fresh air. Johanna’s too busy talking to Finnick and Annie for her to notice your absence, and you’re glad because you need some time alone with your thoughts.

One deep breath, and you’re sent back in time, before you left District Seven to go to the Capitol for the Quarter Quell. This is what you needed the entire time you’ve been here, instead of breathing recycled air in the cement tomb. You need the woods, more than Katniss does, because this is your home.

You wander around for a while, before crouching next to a tree, picking at the bark slightly. You want the Capitol to go smoothly. For once in your life, you want things to go smoothly without any hiccups. You need Johanna to stay safe, and you need your friends to stay alive. You can’t lose anymore people.

You’ll do whatever it takes. 

You spend a good thirty minutes out there, before the guards come to retrieve you to leave on the hovercraft. When Johanna asks you where you went, you tell her that you cleared your mind so that this would be easier for you. You can’t be worried about anything if you’re going to do this.

The hovercraft takes you to District Twelve, where Katniss and Gale are stiff as boards the entire time you’re out there. She manages to tell you that you’re outside of the bombed area, and you should be glad that you’re not inside of it. You pay your respects as close to the border as you can before going back to the cargo car.

In there, you’re packed like sardines with other soldiers, who sleep with their heads on their packs. You spend a few days there while they bring you to one of the mountain tunnels that lead to the Capitol. As soon as you’re there, you’re forced to make the rest of the trip on foot, which is a six hour walk, only allowed to walk on the green paint that marks safe passage.

On the other side is the rebel camp, a ten block radius that’s crawling with soldiers. The rebels pushed the peacekeepers out a week ago, losing hundreds of soldiers but they made this area safe to set base. Your squad is led to an area that’s reserved for you, and there you pitch your tents to spend the night. 

You meet Katniss’ camera crew, they’re nice but only grow a group that’ll already draw a lot of attention. For three days, you mill around the streets of the Capitol and do meaningless tasks for them to film to show the Capitol and the districts. None of the real work is handed to you, Katniss, Finnick or Johanna. It’s all saved for the qualified soldiers.

The streets have mostly been cleared of pods, because you’re trailing after the soldiers that have gone before you. The paper maps are interesting to look at, but you get bored of the grid quickly. You’ve been on the streets before, but this is entirely too far out. Victor’s are given free reign towards the heart, where the Tribute Center is. The maps don’t show the pods, either.

The only device that does is held by Boggs, since he’s the commander. And it’s unusable unless his voice activates it. It’s called a Holo. It’s fairly interesting to see the blocks you’ve traveled and the pods that were nearby but you never tripped. You’re clueless without it.

On the fourth day, one of the Leeg sisters hits a pod by accident, and it’s mislabeled as well. You’re prepared for a swarm of mutated gnats, but instead it shoots out a sunburnt of metal darts. One of which finds her brain, which kills her before the medics can get to you.

Plutarch promises a replacement.

The next evening, you’re met with Peeta. You haven’t officially met him yet, since there was no need to before. He’s standing in front of you, no handcuffs or guards to keep him in check, and he’s got a gun slung over his shoulder. With his reaction to Katniss that first day he was in District Thirteen, Boggs takes the gun as soon as he’s close enough, and goes to make a call.

“It won’t matter.” Peeta says unbothered, “The president assigned me herself. She decided the propos needed some heating up.”

When Boggs comes back, he’s fuming. The first thing he does is tell Jackson that she needs to organize a two-person, round-the-clock guard on Peeta. Then he takes Katniss to the other side of camp to talk to her privately.

Jackson looks between the group of you, thinking about her choices. When she doesn’t immediately choose, you lift your hand, catching her attention, “What is it, Soldier (L/n)?”

“I’ll do it, for however long you like.”

“Me too.” Finnick says, “You can put us on together.”

“Then who am I going to be with?” Johanna asks, face twisting, “Since when are you two best friends?”

“You haven’t noticed?” You muse.

Jackson nods, “Okay, we’ll have you and Finnick take first shift, then you and Johanna can take second. We’ll break you and do…” she continues, but you stop paying attention unless your name is mentioned. 

Peeta looks up at you, eyes fairly aggressive, looking you up and down to size you as an opponent. If he thinks of doing anything funny, he’ll be in for a surprise. You’re doing this because he needs good people to surround himself with to remind him that not everyone's the same. There is variety.

By the time Katniss comes back, the rotation’s been made, and she isn’t a part of it. Peeta’s pitching his tent next to Jackson and Boggs’ so they can keep a better eye on him. Right on cue, Katniss asks, “What time is my watch?”

Jackson squints at her, “I didn’t put you in the rotation.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure you could really shoot Peeta, if it came to it.”

Katniss pauses for half a second, before loudly saying, “I wouldn’t be shooting Peeta. He’s gone. Johanna’s right. It’d be just like shooting another one of the Capitol’s mutts.”

You send Johanna a concerned look, she shakes her head slightly, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well, that sort of comment isn’t recommending you either.” Jackson says.

“Put her in the rotation.” Boggs says.

“Midnight to four. You’re on with me.” Jackson shakes her head, writing it down.

When the dinner whistle is blown, you start your way over with your victor friends, with the exception of Katniss, who is suspiciously close to Gale, whispering. She’s replaced by Peeta, who’s definitely not really absorbing his surroundings. Regardless, you turn to him.

“I’m (Y/n).” You hold out your hand, “I’m from District Seven, I won the year after Johanna did.”

“Nice to meet you.” He takes your hand, shaking it once before letting it go.

“That cake you made for Finnick and Annie’s wedding was gorgeous. Do you paint often?” You ask.

“When I have the time.” He shrugs.

“Oh, that’s right.” You smile, “That was your talent for the Victory Tour, wasn’t it? After years of cake icing I’m sure it paid off. I couldn’t think of a single thing worth showing for mine. I almost named every tree in alphabetical order just for the kick of it.”

Peeta cracks a smile, “That would’ve been entertaining.”

“She had a song and everything.” Johanna sighs, “It was truly insufferable.”

Finnick’s face twists, looking at you, “You have never told me that before.”

“That’s because I have shame, Finnick.” You snort, they laugh too. Peeta shakes his head with a smile.

Your squad gathers in a circle to eat dinner. You keep small talk going with Peeta, trying to form some friendship. The looks you get from Katniss and Gale are no less than hostile because of it. You’re not sure what they want you to do. You’re not going to shut him out, this easily could’ve been how Johanna turned out. It would've been if she weren’t so strong.

By the time you’re exhausted and ready to go to bed, you and Peeta are on some level of understanding. You go to bed with Johanna in the tent, huddled up in your own sleeping bags. It’s much too cold for you to fall asleep, even though Johanna passes out without struggle. You only lay there for another half hour before you unzip it and settle it over Johanna.

You leave the tent and go to sit at the center of camp, where the heater’s going to be much more enjoyable than shivering. You sit as close as humanly possible, rubbing your arms. Jackson and Katniss are already out here to watch Peeta, who’s fiddling with a rope that Finnick must’ve given him.

Peeta breaks the silence, “These last couple of years must have been exhausting for you. Trying to decide whether to kill me or not. Back and forth. Back and forth.”

Katniss doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “I never wanted to kill you. Except when I thought you were helping the Careers kill me. After that, I always thought of you as an ally.”

“Ally.” Peeta repeats slowly. “Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. FIancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I’ll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out. The problem is, I can’t tell what's real anymore, and what’s made up.”

Peeta’s accidentally disturbed the fragile serenity in the camp, because you can hear a few people stir in their tents. Either they’re light sleepers or they haven't been sleeping, and they’re stuck in the same miserable loop you were in. 

Finnick speaks from his sleeping bag in the shadow of a tent, “Then you should ask, Peeta. That’s what Annie does.”

“Ask who?” Peeta says. “Who can I trust?”

“Well, us for starters. We’re your squad.” Jackson says.

“You’re my guards.” He says.

“That, too.” She agrees. “But you saved a lot of lives in Thirteen. It’s not the kind of thing we forget.”

The air settles. Peeta does not speak again for a long while. You finally begin to feel drowsy in front of the heat. You lean into your backpack, eyes closed and basking in the warmth.

“Your favorite color… it’s green?” Peeta asks carefully.

“That’s right.” Katniss says. “And yours is orange.”

“Orange?” He asks.

“Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset.” She says, “At least, that’s what you told me once.”

“Oh.” He says, “Thank you.”

“You’re a painter. You’re a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.” Katniss says suddenly, and then she gets up and leaves.

You fall asleep by the fire, waking every hour to stretch your back from the hunched position you’re in. Johanna wakes you around nine, moving the hair out of your face to tell you that she, Gale, Finnick and Katniss are going to go film for a bit and you’re invited to go with them. You agree, brushing your teeth and fixing your hair before following them into the street. 

You and Finnick fill her in from last night. She nods, remarking how it’s a step in the right direction. At least they’re talking to each other.

Back at camp, the squad is sitting in a group together talking to Peeta. There’s no tension, you and Johanna take a seat with them. Finnick criss-crosses his legs, and Katniss and Gale stand nearby. They tell you that they’ve been playing a game with Peeta called ‘Real or Not Real’ where he recalls events and they tell him if it happened or not.

“Most of the people from Twelve were killed in the fire.” Peeta says.

“Real. Less than nine hundred of you made it to Thirteen alive.”

“The fire was my fault.”

“Not real. President Snow destroyed twelve the way he did Thirteen, to send a message to the rebels.”

The game allows Jackson to break you into a completely new watch, where you’re no longer paired with Johanna or Finnick, but with one of the soldiers. Everyone holds their advantages when it comes to talking to Peeta. Gale fills him in on most of the technical stuff about District Twelve. You and Finnick talk about his first Games, since you both mentored that one, and Johanna and Finnick talk about the second since they were both a tribute.

You also help out Katniss with some of the superficial details. He’ll ask about the colors of her dress in certain districts, the jewelry she was wearing, what she said during a speech. All of which you have nailed down, since you’ve always been fascinated about how stylists and escorts change their theme with each new victor. You can’t be much help in regards to her food preferences and who she is back home, so she’s forced to work on that by herself. 

The next afternoon, you’re all told you need to stage a more complicated propo for District Thirteen to edit. They’re unhappy with the quality they’ve been getting lately, and they want something that’ll draw in more attention, as if that’s even possible. A special block is set aside, none of the traps set off to allow some action. It’s a residential block, lined with apartments.

The pods inside are marked as gunfire and nets to capture, so you’re all told to gear up as if you’re heading into actual war. You’re allowed to take your specialty weapons with you. You swing the axe in your hand, wondering how good it would do in battle if you had to. Peeta is given back his gun, but it’s full of blanks so it can’t do any actual damage.

Peeta shrugs, “I'm not much of a shot anyway.”

The camera crew goes over a number of things they’re going to use to make the action sequence more interesting. They’re planning to use smoke bombs and adding gunfire to make it seem like you’re doing something. You joke with Johanna and Finnick that it would be less work for them if they actually did something with you guys instead.

Peeta’s fairly preoccupied with one of the camera crew members. They’re all from the Capitol, so they’ve got funny mannerisms, but he’s got his eye on Pollux. His eyebrows are twitching at one point, and you elbow Finnick to get his attention, hoping he’ll be able to talk to Peeta without a reaction.

Finnick opens his mouth to speak, when Peeta’s harsh voice comes through, “You’re an Avox, aren’t you? I can tell by the way you swallow. There were two Avoxes with me in prison. Darius and Lavinia, but the guards mostly called them the redheads. They’d been our servants in the Training Center, so they arrested them, too. I watched them being tortured to death. She was lucky. They used too much voltage and her heart stopped right off. It took days to finish him off. Being, cutting off parts. They kept asking him questions, but he couldn’t speak, he just made these horrible animal sounds. They didn’t want information, you know? They wanted me to see it.”

There’s a stunned silence as you all stop walking, staring at him. He watches you guys, “Real or not real?” No one answers him, so he snaps, “Real or not real?!”

“Real,” Bogg says, “At least, to the best of my knowledge… real.”

“I thought so.” His shoulders sag, “There was nothing… shiny about it.”

He wanders off, Katniss turns to Gale for comfort. You warily turn to Johanna, “Did they…?”

“No, they never used the tracker jacker venom against me.” She shakes her head, “Just water and electricity.”

“I’m… glad.”

“Me too.” She says.

The rest of the trip is taken in silence, as you stomp through glass from windows and cars. Boggs has you gather around the Holo to see the projection of the street. The gunfire pod is ahead, a little higher up. The net pod is at the end, almost around the next corner. Volunteers are taken to set off the traps, but once again, none of you are picked.

The smoke bombs are thrown, and the camera begins to roll. You carefully go down the street, as Gale sets off the pod. You all break windows to some capacity, but flatten against the ground as soon as the actual pod is set off. The stones are light orange and pink, waving between each other. 

Boggs wants you to head forward, but Cressida, the director of the camera crew, needs a few close-up shots of your reactions. You’re all forced to reenact what you had just done, this time with a flair of dramatics. Mitchell’s acting is so horrible that most of you are left in tears of his idea of desperation. Boggs is shaking his head, but even he’s smiling.

He sets up the Holo to find the best way to trigger the next pod. Just as he takes a step towards you guys, the pastel stone he’s placed his foot on, sinks in the ground, and explodes, taking his legs with it.

[luinhealthcare]

Hello lovely Lofty❤️

What would you say is the pros and cons of EMS work?? Or like, things you would say to someone looking to be an EMT?

I have a full time job I don't plan on leaving, but tbh learning about what you do and reading your stories has kind of put it on my heart and I was curious if volunteer EMT jobs are a thing. Like, getting all the training done and then volunteering when I can?

Idk, I was just curious if you had anything to say regarding this😅

I could probably google some of this info but if if you feel like answering it would be appreciated! I value your opinion❤️

Ok, give me just a sec—*SQUEALS excitedly into pillow*

Hello Anon! :D That’s so exciting to hear!! I’m glad you’d rather just do it volunteer, as career EMS pays very little (my nursing job is what keeps a roof over my head, not my EMS one lol), but nearly every agency in my area has volunteers so I imagine it’s the same for your area!

So general pros and cons for EMS:

Pros

Tight knit work crew - These people see some bad things together, and trauma bonding is a thing, so they tend to be pretty close and have a lot of fun together. A note of care, we all have dark senses of humor. It’s a natural coping mechanism for people, and it can make life really funny too. But generally, working with EMS providers is quite fun! There will probably also be things like banquets, cookouts, and other fun bonding activities!

Boo boo bus - Driving is one of my least favorite parts of the job, but it is very fun to drive the truck around with lights and sirens and have the power to stop traffic and go through a red light lol. Super dangerous, but very fun

Knowledge - You learn so much in EMS! Medicine and our understanding of diseases and injuries is constantly changing, so you’ll always learn something new if you keep up with your training. Speaking of which, your agency will provide training opportunities to help you grow!

Patient care - You’ll find that the majority of your calls aren’t actually emergencies, but when you can actually take care of someone who needs you, you’re gonna ride that adrenaline high for ages. I still remember calls from years ago where I actually made a difference in someone’s life, and it’s a thrilling feeling.

Shift style - We work in 12-24 hour blocks, which means you knock out your work week in 2-3 days. As a volunteer your hour requirement would be much less than 36, but you could knock out a 24 hour monthly requirement in a single day if you wanted. Also, depending on a few factors (day vs night shift, busyness of your run area), you could literally just be spending your time chilling between calls. Sometimes I bring video games to work and play the switch because we have so much downtime. At night we get paid to just sleep if nobody’s calling 911.

Cons

Management/staffing - Like most jobs, somehow we’re all cursed with idiots in charge. Obviously this is variable, but a general trend in EMS is to overwork its people and toss them out to sea before they sometimes feel ready. And also like most jobs, we’re perpetually short staffed and everyone gets stretched thin to make up for it. Luckily for you, this shouldn’t be as big a problem because volunteers are usually treated very well!

Patient care - It’s a pro but it’s a con too. 85% of your calls are going to be for things that people should have never called 911 for. Your big pretty Boo Boo Bus is mostly going to be an Uber. And it will get frustrating, and you will have frequent flyers, and some people are not kind at all. They’ll call for your help and then get pissed off at you for trying to help. Anyone who’s worked customer service can relate, I’m sure. You get trained to handle life and death emergencies and then instead you’re picking someone up for a cough they’ve had for three days and you’re wondering when you became their mother/father and have to take the baby to the doctor when they haven’t tried anything to take care of themselves at home or see a less urgent health facility. It will burn you out if you’re not careful.

TMI - Speaking of patient care, get ready to see people at their absolute lowest. Hoarder houses, maggots, abusive households, all that jazz. Another reason for trauma bonding with your coworkers! 👍🏻 (This won’t be the majority of your calls, but you’ll see them)

Physical strain - If you don’t take care of your body, this job will hurt you. I’ve thrown my back three times working EMS; there were times where I was hobbling around like an 83-year-old and I was 22. You’ll be lifting patients of every weight, you’re gonna be contorted in weird positions trying to splint someone, CPR is a cardio exercise in itself (lol), you will probably be sore after some calls like you just went to the gym. Also, we don’t take meal breaks - you eat when you can, and you will become a speed eater very quickly in this line of work.

Mental strain - You’re gonna learn a lot about yourself and others in this work. How do you cope with stress? You will watch people die, you will see suicides and shootings and stabbings, you will watch family hurt each other and grieve over lost loved ones. You will be on edge for the majority of your shift as you wait for the tones to drop, you will be stressed trying to find an address or navigate the road and make sure nobody gets into a wreck with you. Military and first responders are so alike because the stress level and distribution is quite similar - downtime with boredom gets interspersed with spikes of huge adrenaline rushes. Have good coping skills, have a strong support system, take care of yourself. 95% of the people I know on duty are in therapy to stay sane.

Overall, I adore EMS. If I could survive off EMS pay I’d work it full time and do nursing as a side gig for funsies lol. The majority of the work is fairly mundane, but when you get to make a difference boy do you get to make a difference. And you’ll have so many funny stories to share. And the people are awesome.

Hope this helps! :D

[felixravinstills]

Hi, we’ve not met but I’ve been thinking about this post of yours & it also has me going insane. Funnily enough, I made a Tik tok about this ages ago but I also wrote it so I’ll just put that in. I just love discoing the education in the Capitol v Districts, it’s one of few things I was surprised of in the TBOSBAS and sooo happy to dissect!

We know in the districts that they just have a constant, pre-k to high school public-school like education system that is heavily doctored and monitored by the government. We also have the training academies which most think of as an after-school program, but that’s still ultimately funded by and for the government to continue the cycle of propaganda and indoctrination.

Now what we learn in TBOSBAS is fascinating because although it has the same foundation as the districts with it being heavily propagandized, but they have the option (or opportunity if they are financially stable or have enough nepotism) to continue their education after their time at The Academy. The idea of The University as this inaccessible, elitist symbol for Capitol children to strive for as a way to grow and climb the social/political/economic ladder of the city is the complete opposite of the idea of education in the districts.

School is where children go to get their daily dose of propaganda, then if they’re old enough, they go to work. And so-on and so-on until they are reaped or graduate and dedicate their lives to their trades, their slavery.

The education system in The Capitol is a symbol of hope for success, whereas in the districts it is a symbol of stagnancy until work or death.

Hi! Yes, education in Panem is really interesting to think about, and I love what you've pointed out here! It is really interesting the juxtaposition of how education is framed in the Districts vs. the Capitol.

I was talking with other people once about the other schools in the Capitol as Coriolanus mentions other secondary schools. I wonder how much a disparity there might be between those schools and the Academy (I mean they apparently end school sooner in the year than the Academy, so that already feels like a big difference if the Academy, so I'm sure there are other differences). The Academy of course seems to be the premiere secondary school in the city with potentially special ties to the University? (It would make sense since the Capitol's leading families all go to the Academy but they also are geographically close to each other since Snow can walk from the University to the Academy in the Epilogue).

It would be interesting if as you point out the education system in the Capitol is seen as a hope for success, but due to the requirements (tuition and whatever academic standards have to be met), it is actually mostly the affluent students from the Academy attending. Maybe, the Capitol presents itself as a meritocracy but still preferring the already wealthy and elite families. Coriolanus does mention that the University has more people and more types of people (Ch. 19), but for me, it would make sense that the actual statistical breakdown would show a majority of the students coming from the Academy.

Referencing the University with a capital U most of the time, also leads me to believe that it is the only university in the Capitol? Although the occasional uses of lowercase university does make it possible that there are others.

I often wonder about the middle to lower class of the Capitol since Coriolanus mentions in TBOSAS that there's a bit of an unemployment crisis going on. I suppose there is a bit of an implication that the Games might be providing new jobs in the future to help with that though as they gain popularity though, and joining the Peacekeepers seems like a common enough thing to do.

Anyway, it's a bit sleepy writing this, so sorry, if it's a bit ramble-y/if there isn't really anything too insightful in here, but again, what you brought up is really cool! It makes me want to re-read the OG Trilogy to remember more of the smaller worldbuilding details (education-based and otherwise!)

[blackjackkent]

Oh man, there's a lot here in the graveyard. Karlach's parents are buried here and she asked Hector if they could stop and say hi.

Of course Hector beelined for it. <3 This was an incredibly sweet little moment and as usual, her VA and facial animation are making me cry.

"Here lies Pluck and Caerlack Cliffgate. My parents. Hi mum. Hi dad."

"Sorry I haven't visited. I've been... away. But I'm back now! And I brought friends."

She and Hector exchanged a cute little glance here.

"I miss you so much. But I'm happy. And getting up to some really important shit."

"Maybe you can see for yourselves. I don't know."

"You're with me here, anyway. Taters."

Hector has just been listening to this and watching her with a gentle smile on his face. "Taters?" he asks softly, when she seems to have run out of words.

She laughs, just a little shakily. "Meant 'I love you' in the Cliffgate household. I can't even remember how it started anymore. Lost family lore."

(A/N: What an incredibly sweet, detailed little character note, holy shit.)

"There was a lot of silly nonsense in our house." Her gaze is distant, drifting through memories long gone. "My mates used to say we had our own personal language. I guess I'm the last remaining speaker." Her smile flickers slightly.

He reaches out and takes her hand, feeling his heart twist a little in his chest. For not the first time nor the last, he is struck by how brutally unfair her lot has been, to be pulled from a loving family and a life she was happy in, and instead thrust into the torment of the Hells with no possibility of escape. To have lost both her past and her future to the greed of Gortash and the cruelty of Zariel.

Deep at the back of his mind, so deep that he barely even acknowledges it himself - he is a little jealous, too, of the kindness and warmth and love she describes in her childhood, something that for all his contentment at the monastery, was never truly part of his life. But he is also deeply grateful that she had it - that it molded her into the kind woman that he loves, molded her so strongly that the Hells couldn't beat it out of her.

"Mum used to say there was no such thing as death," Karlach goes on thoughtfully. "That there was only change. Dad thought that was a load of woo. That gone meant gone, unless you'd struck a deal with one of the gods. Said he had better things to do in life than beg favors off immortals."

She draws a heavy breath, absently interlacing her fingers with his. "I'm not sure what I believe."

He is quiet for a few moments, thinking. He is, of course, trained in the dogma of the Selunites and could speak quite knowledgeably on the workings of the gods - at least such as it was taught to him - but he doesn't think she really wants a lecture on the City of Judgment and its uncertain outcomes right now.

She is thinking ahead to her own impending mortality. She wants comfort, something that is hopeful, and his voice giving it to her.

"Your mum was right," he says softly. "Our bodies become soil, water, air. We don't die, we just change..."

To his relief, he sees her expression relax slightly.

"Nice thought, isn't it?" she murmurs. "This grass could be my mum's hair. The air in my lungs might be my dad telling me 'taters.'" She smiles, leans her shoulder against his gently. "I like that."

------

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I love Karlach so much, you guys.

The game didn't give me the opportunity, unfortunately, but Hector absolutely starts saying 'Taters' to her in place of 'I love you' sometimes. Not all the time, but just here and there, so she's not the last carrier of the tradition, and so she knows he's listening and will remember - both her and her parents.

Once again including the recording of this scene here because Karlach's VA and facial animations are really half of what make her scenes so affecting.

[obuoliukai]

Were your Durge/Tavs inspired by characters from other movies/shows/literature?

I got tagged by the wonderful @adorablebanite 🍎🖤 (I was so happy to learn more about Lilla and thank you so much for showing interest in mine character!!)

I never really posted much about my Durge Mercy because I really wanted to make some cool art (which would mean I need to get better at drawing haha) so I kept procrastinating.

To put it simply - my headcanon is that she's basically two different people. But not at the same time might I add.

Before the evens of the game while she still had her memory she was a Bhaalist and a snobbish sorceress. She was talented and smart but incredibly anti-social and spent most of her time alone reading or doing some research. She believed that other people are beneath her and are not worth her time. But at the same time she wasn't as evil as you might think. I always imaged her having True Neural alignment.

"True Neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction." (taken from here)

So I really like her ominous and cold demeanor, being apathetic about most things in life and having big "leave me alone" energy. And I especially like that "lack of conviction" fits her very well. Basically she has no strong faiths, beliefs or morals and although she was a Bhaalist she never really gave too many fucks about it (she did not join the cult willingly but at some point just stopped caring).

Rustin Cohle (True Detective) and Death (Supernatural)

Now when you start the game, she wakes up with no memories and additionally my headcanon is that she lost the ability to use magic as well. And I gave it a good think. If a person would wake up with no special abilities and no memory, what class would they be? Obviously, Sorcerer and Wizard are out; you don't immediately start worshiping a god so Clerics are out (and remember she's now much of a believer because of her lack of conviction); you don't immediately sell your soul to the devil so Warlock is out and so on. Until I was left with Barbarian.

So after she woke up on the Nautiloid she picked up a sword and just started swinging it chaotically hoping she would hit someone (a Fighter doesn't fit because she had no training and Paladin doesn't work because she certainly not gonna swear an oath). And Barbarian class also works with her repressed anger issues after so many years of living in apathy.

She then met some people that completely changed her life. She became willing to help someone because it's the right thing to do. Once she began caring about others, it became clear that she would do anything to protect them. I would say her alignment changed to Neutral Good because she had that "I'm not a hero I'm just a person trying to do good" mentality. Which means she didn't think she was a good person but she just chose to do good things. While she cannot control her urges, she tries her best to control her actions. Her way of achieving things is usually morally good but not necessarily lawful.

"Neutral Good characters value life and freedom above all else, and despise those who would deprive others of them. They sometimes find themselves forced to work beyond the law, yet for the law, and the greater good of the people." (once again, taken from here)

She's ready to take down gods because they abused their power and played with mortals. She's intelligent and bold enough to pull out some crazy stunts in order to protect loved ones. And she's not afraid to sacrifice herself while doing so.

Ahsoka Tano (Clone Wars) and Sirius Black (Harry Potter)

Thank you so much for reading! 🍎🍎🍎

One small note: I couldn't figure out a second character for my Redemption Ark Durge so I asked my boyfriend what character he would recommend. And he said Shrek as a joke but it kind of fits. And now I can't stop thinking about it. Like how at the start all he wanted was to be left alone but then he made a few friends, found love and became a better person. How he's not a typical hero you would imagine same as Mercy and oh my god-

My Durge is basically Shrek

[natsubeatsrock]

Ranking Fairy Tail Death Fakeouts

I'm not posting frequently enough to make joke posts.

We've had quite many death fakeouts in this series. 

That statement alone is an indictment on Hiro Mashima, who has gone on record to say that he enjoys writing characters in situations where it seems they died but survived.

I figured I'd rank as many fakeouts as I remember from best to worst. 

I tried to limit myself to situations where it was clear that we should think the situation led to death. However, things got out of hand. (You'll see.) Bear in mind that some involve groups of people who we thought died.

While this is my ranking, I tried to stick to these criteria in ranking them.

Should they have died otherwise?

Does their return make sense?

Is the series better for their return?

We're starting with the best version of this trope. 

Fairy Sphere was the best death fakeout, and I'm not sure people would expect it to fit these criteria.

Everyone on the island thought they would die. They accepted their fate in Toy Story 3 style when the Black Dragon came and blasted Tenrou Island, leaving only a crater. 

That's good games, folks.

However, the return makes sense. Those members were at a sacred spot for their guild. While we know Mavis' body isn't on the island now, we've seen her powers at work earlier in the arc. Mavis using one of the guild's most powerful spells is reasonable. It activated because of their shared spirit, leading to the Grand Magic Games.

I've criticized Mashima's handling of training in series, especially in the Grand Magic Games. Their return was a genius idea. Time skips happen often in anime and manga, but few function as this did. The heroes have to play catch-up with the rest of the world. The execution wasn't the best, but this was one of Mashima's best ideas in the series.

Speaking of Mavis, I think her death fakeout was the best individual example. This might be because we didn't get enough reason to believe there was anything past her death. If you could make a phantom image of yourself, wouldn't you put yourself in your prime? We had no reason to believe she died at the age we saw her. 

I'm not the most supportive of Zervis, but I like this as a death situation. The good news is that she didn't die from the curse of contradiction. While it's a bit sketchy, I do like that there are attempts to keep her alive as soon as possible.

Her continued existence as Lumen Histoire (I prefer this name to Fairy Heart) was foreshadowed amazingly. It was a situation that affected all the major arcs from its mention to the end of the main series. Of course, after escaping Lumen Histoire, she continues to impact the series for the better. The Larcade/August situation is a mess, but I don't think it hurts Mavis' return.

Speaking of which, Lisanna's fakeout was also really good. (Shocking, I know.) Let me start by admitting that this one is hurt by her lack of importance in the series. She hasn't taken out any major villains or caused dramatic character changes (unless you read my stories). It doesn't matter since we never really were led to think she would become a super relevant character.

As for the other aspects, she passes with flying colors in my book. She should have died on the mission based on everything we know about the situation. No one in the guild operates under the assumption otherwise, and it is taken for granted for two in-series years.

However, we never see her die in the manga. We hear about the events and get flashes of what happened. However, Mashima never shows us that she died, even after the series was extended past Phantom Lord. While the anime shows more of what happened, the director admitted he never planned to treat Lisanna as dead. Edolas as an escape for Lisanna makes more sense than people give it credit for.

Next up is Irene, whose situation is interesting. I should be madder about how that was handled. There didn't seem to be a reason for her to kill herself, especially given the justification of actually loving Erza. While Acnologia brutalizing her body was too much, that felt like the nail in the coffin. If she wasn't dead before, she was dead then.

However, the return itself isn't nonsensical. Irene was impressed by Wendy's enchanting skills during their battle. No wonder she would want to tag along with her temporarily. I do prefer this justification for Irene. She still wants to find a body of her own to host. I'm glad she's selfish about it.

This aspect was one of my favorite things about the sequel. It was great to see how Wendy and Irene interacted with each other. Often, it would be Wendy accounting for Irene in situations or Irene intervening in places where Wendy needed help. I wasn't a big fan of the resolution, but I did appreciate that it tied into the Knightwalker situation.

The last of the good returns is Gajeel. His death was another situation that was treated as a given. He was being taken to 'hell' at the end of his fight. This was almost a tragic end to the best ship in the Big 4. We recognize their mutual feelings only to be ripped out of their hands just as soon.

The genius of this moment comes in the timing of events. It's hard to explain this, but the events of the arc all overlap in weird ways. This fight happens as Natsu and Lucy hope Brandish can negotiate peace with August and Irene's meeting with Acnologia. While the portal closes, Irene is casting Universe One. The spell changes the continent's shape-up, so it's not out of the realm of possibility this brings Gajeel back into commission.

Honestly, Gajeel doesn't do a whole lot past his return. He certainly puts work in, especially in the sequel. However, he's not impacting the series like several other characters mentioned before, along with others to come. Though, even at this point in the series, he's nowhere near the focus of the series. Not to mention, he's always been a secondary character, so no meaningful change there.

Other people wouldn't count this, but I'm putting Silver next. I say I'm not sure because this is a rare example of a fakeout of a death fakeout. Silver was killed by Deliora all those years ago. However, he was brought back to life thanks to Keyes, who used him as a puppet and experimental rat. This makes sense as a reason for him to return. 

However, the lead-up to this revelation is pretty messy. We're led to believe he's Deliora for some time, among other things. (We'll get to him soon enough.) His most meaningful impact is giving Gray Demon Slaying magic. His role involved setting plot points before their fight, like freezing Sun Village and capturing Natsu.

I'm not a fan of Jellal's return. This could be a higher ranking. The circumstances surrounding his supposed death are reasonable enough to think he died. We'd probably assume he was gone forever if it weren't for Mystogan showing up during Fantasia. Nirvana justifies his return. He's arguably made the most impact of anyone on this list.

So what gives?

Petty as it sounds, this version of Jellal bores me. Look at how Jellal acts before Nirvana and how he acts after it. Of course, this is because of what happened in the Tower of Heaven arc. However, I wish there was a way we could keep Jellal's snarky attitude while also being a heroic figure. Thank goodness Crimson Starbird wrote Kidnapping Erza. Speaking of which, his ranking is saved pending his joining Fairy Tail. It's a cliche ending to his arc, but a welcome cliche for a fan favorite. 

Moving down the rankings, God Serena is up next. This is another situation like Silver, where he died but was brought back to life. I don't like him or his return. I plan to talk about this later, but his death is made worse by the final battle of the main series. We're supposed to believe the power of eight dragons couldn't beat Acnologia. Yet the power of seven fire dragons can get the job done? No dice.

His importance in the sequel is to be noted. It certainly was a shock to see him come back. However, I don't think anyone was clamoring for this former member of the Spriggan Twelve to come back into the series. Brandish and DiMaria were more popular characters. I'd take my chances with the Dragneels coming back again. (You can tell this is a personal list.)

We have another fakeout in this list of death fakeouts because we have Igneel, Metallicana, Grandeeny, Skidarum, and Weisslogia. That's right, I'm putting all the dragons on this spot. This is another spot that feels like cheating because they did die all those years ago. All we saw was their last spurt of energy. That was enough to go toe to toe with Acnologia and destroy all the Face statues.

I want to like this one more. This was one of the best moments in the series. Still, I can't say that it makes sense for them to be back. I appreciate that this was hinted at, but the hints were cryptic. I'm glad the dragons destroyed the Dragon Seeds and Natsu's dreams. I can't put them any higher in good conscience.

I wish this next one was at the bottom, but I can't lie. I hate what happened to Ultear. I've talked about that much already. Last Ages might be the only thing I hate more than Nalu in Fairy Tail. That said, I can't act like it makes no sense to exist or that the results are shocking.

I can say that I'm annoyed by the future implications of this moment. I'd rather Ultear not be an active character in the series than see what's happened. Whenever I see Ultear do something, I can't tell if Mashima regrets his decision or is doubling down on it. This isn't anywhere frequent enough to piss me off more.

I'm going to throw Deliora next on this list. I'm not sure who counts for this list anymore. Let's start with the positives. His death was very well explained. The plot to revive him was interesting. 

However, this arc is among my least favorite in the series because of what happens when the ice melts. Outside of a version-dependent last roar, Deliora was always dead. While Moon Drip and Deliora's legacy matters moving forward, the real Deliora doesn't.

We're in the bottom three now. Fitting that the only man to be guild master three times is up next. Makarov's situation is a bit too weird. He only survived based on the technicality of Tenrou Island joining the continent when he went out. You probably didn't know that was a part of the deal. That's right. The only reason this can be justified isn't even common knowledge.

Honestly, there wasn't enough reason for Makarov to come back. The benefit to his return is that Erza can go on the Century Quest without worrying about being the guild master. I know that the Ghost Dragon Slayer was part of the guild, but that's not enough reason for him to not have passed leadership to the next generation.

This is another shocking addition to this list, but our second to last person is Kageyama. Technically, he was the first instance of this happening in Fairy Tail. During the Lullaby mission, he was about to free them from Erigor's trap, but he was stabbed before he could do anything. I could see this argued as not truly being a death fakeout. However, I'm counting it because it wouldn't make sense to interpret his absence as not being a death. Then again, we are talking about him here.

You could also argue that his situation isn't as bad as other characters we've mentioned. However, he earns this spot because, by coming back, he causes more problems for the Strongest Team. Let's get this out of the way. Natsu should have left him in the trap, regardless of his feelings. But by being brought along, he betrays the group's tenuous trust in him and endangered guild masters from all over the land. If he threatened them, I'd bump him higher on this list. He served as a glorified delivery boy. Erigor could have been in the same place as him, fought Natsu, and lost. Nothing serious would have been lost.

But he's not the worst. The undisputed worst death fakeout was only ever going to one person. You know her. You love her, but nowhere near as much as she loves Gray. That's right, Juvia's death fakeout is the worst. (I can hear the Gruvians coming for me from a mile away.)

I've also discussed this situation too much for any person's sanity to be intact. But let's review what we've gone through in this list. Some character's death (fake or otherwise) makes sense, but not the return. For others, the return is pretty sensible, but not the death. Many characters are saved by their relevance after the fact. Whatever the case, some aspect of their situation has reasonable logic. The best characters make sense on all accounts.

Juvia's in a league all her own. Juvia's death was under ridiculous circumstances that strained believability. Her return was arguably just as bad, if not worse. I've heard plenty of people talk smack about Lisanna's comeback. You can't tell me with a straight face that this is better. At least people didn't expect Lisanna to return at all, least of all the chapter after she was revealed to have died. That would be enough to earn this spot on its own.

What cements it for me is that Mashima decided to shoehorn her into nearly every arc of the sequel. I won't go so far as to say I wish Juvia was dead so the ship wouldn't happen. But is Juvia living to fuel one of Mashima's sloppiest ships ever to head towards being canon that good a tradeoff? By the way, this whole situation shaped Gruvia's current trajectory. Considering that happens to be one of the worst things about the sequel, I feel comfortable putting this return at the bottom of this list.

Let me know what you think. If I left anyone on this list, I'd be shocked to find out.

[abyssal-ilk]

22 and 36 for rook 🗣️ also wanted to say i followed recently for vivienne nation ur doing amazing work out here ty for the food!!

hii and thank you so much for the ask!! i'm always happy to feed vivienne nation 🫡

(for this ask game here! i'm still taking asks for this so feel free to send questions in if you'd like!)

22: Most Embarrassing Memory as a Teenager?

okay so the thing about this question is that saar doesn't actually remember much of his childhood! he's a bit of an older guy, he's had more than a few hits to his head over the years, and he's been a warden for almost two decades now. and while he was born under the qun, most of his clearer memories start when he's already an adult. he has a few traces of older memories but they're mostly confined to just that; traces. a smell or a sound or a voice, with little sticking detail.

that being said! before his magic manifested and he was made to be a saarebas, saar busted his ass trying to impress another teenager (who we know as sten!) with how well he can fight. it was stupid and impulsive and left him with a chipped horn and a crooked tooth, but he looked up to sten when they were young and thought being a good fighter would impress him, as sten was assigned to military training. but saar didn't know how to fight and didn't even like fighting. so he ended up falling on his ass and embarrassing himself in front of sten, the other kids in saar's group, and his tamassran. it's something he looks back on fondly now but man was it embarrassing when he was younger.

36. What Would Rook Say Are Their Flaws?

saar would probably say he has a bunch of them, but the one that digs in the hardest is his inability to die. which is... complicated for him. as a saarebas he was expected to die when his arvaarad did and the control rod keeping him bound was lost during the fifth blight when he was sent to fereldan with sten. as he believed there was no one left of the soldiers he arrived with, the responsibility of taking his own life fell onto him– but he could never do it. everytime he tried, whether by his own hand or by danger of something else, his want to live prevailed over his duty to die. and it happened over and over and over again.

then he became a warden. saar constantly threw himself into danger repetitively for the sake of some duty larger than himself, hoping it would give him some sort of purpose. again and again, he almost dies. again and again, he lives, but there's always some sort of cost. an arrow meant for him hits someone else, a potion uses to ward off an infection was wasted on him and someone else died because they didn't have it. saar lives, the people around him die, and he still believes he was supposed to have died decades ago. but even still he can't bring himself to end it. he thinks that this is selfish of himself on some level, to want to live when the people around him die because of things he perceives to be his fault happen. it's not, though!! the fact that he survives isn't a fault of his own or selfish but it's still one that he feels! especially with the deaths of his original group back in fereldan during the fifth blight, and now the gods being released and causing havoc.

saar was supposed to die once, twice, a hundred times- but he hasn't. and he's never really forgiven himself for it.

[gudvina]

The things I do to keep you near.

Ship: Effie Trinket/Haymitch Abernathy

Fandom: Hunger Games

Chapter 6: Admissions (or parallelisms)

Can be read on AO3. <3

74th Hunger Games, part four.

Peeta sat across from him in the sitting room, leaning on the backrest of the couch. He stared at the boy with a frown and assessed his posture and lineaments. For the first time he realized that, apart from their private conversation, which had been enlightening, he didn’t know much about him. Or better, he’d tried to avoid knowing.

“So…?” the boy raised an eyebrow. While the action was meant to convey confusion, Haymitch realized it was a little exaggerated. Sarcasm. Well, this couldn’t be too bad. He’d been wrong when he first judged the boy; there was more to him than he’d thought, and it didn’t surprise him that it had been Effie the one to see it.

His wife always noticed what everyone else ignored.

“So, who are you, Peeta?”

“I’m Peeta Mellark, I’m 16. My parents own a bakery in the Merchant Area of the District, and I work with them when I’m not in school. Despite being quite busy, I’m a good student and am part of a few activities the school has promoted”.

“What do you like about being a baker? Is it your career of choice?” Haymitch feigned a sneer, taking a big gulp from his glass. It wasn’t easy to not care about someone he needed to help. Especially, when he showed his biggest assets.

“Yes. I love that it’s a peaceful career, and, of course, I love the produce. It’s also creative, as cakes do need frosting, and I love making all kinds of designs on them. But don’t get it twisted, it can be hard work. You must remember the recipes, the exact amount of frosting to use, and calculate the timing for both the leavening and the cooking itself” he explained, then leaned closer “Not everyone’s cut for it”.

Haymitch was impressed. The boy wasn’t just a good orator, he had so much charisma he could sell a cow to an estate agent. He did not strike as one to back down from a challenge, and didn’t shy from opening about himself, unlike many before him had done.

He spun stories, stories about the District and Baking and what he liked so far about the Capitol, but managed to keep an air of mystery about him. The boy continued to answer his questions and did not miss one occasion to make it interesting.

Peeta was a natural. Had he been Capitol, he would have been famous for more than his proximity to death.

Choosing Katniss had been the obvious choice, she was the one who had the Capitol in a chokehold, but Haymitch couldn’t pretend anymore that the boy didn’t also have his strengths. If he won, District Twelve would never be at a loss for sponsors.

When the questions were over, Haymitch took a big gulp of his glass, emptying its contents. He stared at the boy again, then spoke.

“You said you wanted to play in her favour, how do you want to go about that?”

“Well, I was hoping you’d tell me”.

He rolled his eyes, refilling his glass. The boy had a point, he knew, but he wasn’t the one interested in sacrificing himself for that girl. Surely, there must be a reason.

“Why would you do that?”

“My family will move on, they don’t need me. On the other hand, hers does. She has people who are waiting for her”.

You know what my mother said to me when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she says maybe District Twelve will finally have a winner. Then I realized she didn't mean me, she meant you!

He remembered the kids’ fight, before the training sessions. Not only the boy wasn’t needed, as he had two older brothers perfectly capable of following in his father’s footsteps, he wouldn’t be missed either. It filled him with disgust to believe a mother could think so little of her son.

“We can’t play the family card, it would be overdone”. The Capitol was cheesy, selectively picking who and what to care about, and family wasn’t any different. It wasn’t the most valued good in its economy, for starters. Yes, it was important, but few people would prefer to stay with family, instead of partying or socializing with the big names of the city. That was true of a lot of people, outside the elites.

Peeta sighed. His expression darkened, and Haymitch could hear him think. At some point he seemed determined, as if he’d thought of something, but then hesitated.

“I have an idea, but I don’t know if it could work”.

“Anything, please. At this point I’d take anything else”.

“I’m in love with her” the boy blushed.

Oh.

“As in really, I am in real life in love with her. Have been since I was five, but never got the courage to… y’know”.

He knew. He’d been sixteen too, had his girl, and knew how easy that simple affection could feel like. It was new feelings and easy conversations, dreams too big for two kids. But what the boy talked about was… eleven years. And he was willing to sacrifice more than time for Katniss.

As he looked at him in the eyes, he recognised her. Innocent blue eyes, blonde hair, a mix of strength and vulnerability that he’d never seen in anyone else before. Effie. Effie and the majestic way she moved in what she called high society, Effie and the way she looked at him with shiny eyes and a bright smile.

He tried to shake the thought. Wasn’t drunk enough.

The idea wasn’t too bad, it was a new angle to play with and the Capitol loved these things. They loved to follow celebrities and their relationships, and he’d seen it with Crane and Effie. When they were together, you were sure to see them on the first page of whatever magazine was trending, maybe hand in hand in a paparazzi shot, or posing for a big company.

The Capitol held being a busybody higher than its own mother.

“I like it”.

The boy looked at him relieved, and soon they started to rehearse ways to bring the subject up. With the boy’s ability to move through a conversation, they managed to find the right words. Even managed to attempt a few scenarios. Intrigue was the protagonist. He could already hear the ‘Oohs’ and ‘Aahs’ of the audience.

“We don’t have much left,” Peeta said at some point. Without even realizing it, he’d spent the entire four hours and did not once get bored.

“Yeah, it’s the girl’s turn. I will have to tell you, boy, you’re not to throw out”.

“Please, do not think about me. I already asked Effie”.

“Oh, that will be a fit harder than you’d think. She likes you a lot”.

“I like her too…” the boy admitted, and Haymitch nodded knowingly. They were very similar despite their obvious differences.

“Well, that’s all nice and dandy, let us see if the ladies are done. Who knows if you’ll still like Effie after your four hours?” sarcasm laced his words, stealing from the boy a tiny chuckle. And, for the first time in years, he was loathe to admit that, just like Effie, he wasn’t indifferent to the kids either.

***

Effie let her hands linger on Katniss’ arm, trying to soothe her. The girl’s interview, despite the weird start, ended on a high note and she was delighted with it. For someone who’d never walked in heels, she didn’t even trip once while twirling. Now, it was time for Peeta’s interview.

His delivery was great, his poise and posture perfectly practised, and, if he felt a twinge of fear from being in front of the audience, it didn’t show. Perfect. He was perfect.

She had no idea of what was said during Haymitch’s four hours, but she quite liked the comparisons between the breads and the tributes, or the skit about the roses. Despite being the one interviewed, Peeta led the conversation. It flowed well. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought the showrunner and the boy already knew each other.

“So, Peeta, do you have a girlfriend waiting for you at home?”

He shook his head, looking bashful. It was a weird question, one Caesar didn’t usually ask, and Effie looked at Haymitch, who was staring at the screen, with a frown. A girlfriend?

“Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?”.

“Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping”.

It didn’t make sense. How could there be a girl when he told her he loved Katniss, on the terrace? She hadn’t asked a single question about his session with Haymitch, too focused on her task, but now she regretted it. Ceasar didn’t waste time in asking if this mystery girl had another boy, and Peeta answered that a lot of boys went after her.

“So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?”

“I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning…  won’t help in my case”, the boy said with a sad expression.

“Why ever not?”

“Because . . . because . . . she came here with me”. Peeta looked down with a sigh.

The audience gasped in unison, and she found herself doing the same. It was Katniss, after all. Haymitch now looked at her, and she met his eyes. She suspected hers were wider than the world itself, because he

The interview continued for a few more minutes, but Effie wasn’t giving it her whole attention. She was stunned. The doomed lovers trope was new, original, and she couldn’t help but swell with pride for her Victor. A focused Haymitch could be glorious.

Katniss had to leave before them, while they waited for Cinna and Portia.

“Surprise, sweetheart”.

“Oh, Panem be praised, I can’t believe it” she sighed, still not recovered. The high mood lasted only until the crew was reunited and back on Twelve’s floor.

When the elevator’s panels parted, interrupting her conversation with Portia, the first thing she noticed was Peeta. He was on the floor, and his hands were bleeding profusely. Katniss was in front of him, both her hands balled in fists, just staring down at the poor boy. Or glaring. She felt Haymitch tense up beside her, as he usually did when he saw blood, and her panic grew, so she moved to help him. Cinna followed her shortly.

“What happened? Did you fall?”

“After she shoved me!”

The boy was on his feet now, and her attention returned to the girl, who lashed out at Haymitch and Peeta alike for the interview. Haymitch, in turn, tense due to the blood, pinned her to the wall, attempting to shut her up.

“Who cares? It’s all a big show. It’s all how you’re perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you’re a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?”

The girl shoved him away, but, from the look on her face, the rage was over. Effie turned back her attention to the boy and his wounds, spacing out of the conversation.

He’d fallen on a vase whose shards remained stuck on his skin. It wasn’t a serious injury, but it wasn’t nothing. She would have brought him to the clinic herself, and she almost suggested it, but she couldn’t leave Haymitch alone. Breathe in, breathe out. Her focus returned to the present only when the girl apologised to the boy, ending the conflict. She wanted to say something, anything, but the words were stuck on her throat and made her nauseous.

It was time for dinner, and Haymitch moved them to the dining room. Anxiety rushed through her veins, making her play with her food more than eat it. She felt how tense Haymitch was and watched Peeta’s hands bleeding non-stop. When it was clear that the blood wouldn’t stop by itself, Portia offered to take him to the clinic. Fortunately, they returned swiftly.

The whole affair was made bearable only thanks to a little small talk with Portia and Cinna, and helped by her escort grin, but otherwise, she wasn’t in the mood for conversation. It was only when the replays were aired, that she understood what was bothering her. It wasn’t just the boy’s injuries, or Haymitch’s state, but the girl’s reaction. It was exaggerated, violent, but… she had a point.

Effie put herself in her shoes. What if anyone did something like that behind her back? Love was a very sensitive subject and, just like the girl, she would have reacted badly. And yes. The way it happened had its perks for Katniss, too many if she had any say in it, but she understood.

When they retired to their rooms, she felt relieved not having to put up a front anymore. She was overwhelmed. Haymitch followed her after a few minutes, finding her wigless and busy wiping her makeup. She was sitting on her vanity and kept her focus on her task.

“That girl was ridiculous” he commented, basically throwing himself on the mattress.

“Put yourself in her shoes, Haymitch”.

“Oh, come on, he did her a damn favour to not tell her. Her reaction was genuine, nobody can say shit”.

“First of all, language” she chastised him, her voice a little harsher than usual “And yes, he did her a favour, a big one. But I understand. Love is not something to play with, it’s extremely personal. I would have liked a warning too if I was her”.

“Even if not telling you meant you’d be protected?”. His voice seemed to be hiding something, but whatever it was she couldn’t guess.

“Yes, I don’t know how I’d react, but surely I wouldn’t be joyous” Effie reflected, but then decided to shake her thoughts away “Anyways… how are you?”

“I’m good” he softened, reaching his arm towards her, a silent plea to join him in bed. Luckily for him, she was done with the process of removing her makeup, so she got up, eliminated the distance between them, and let his arm drag her down with him. In Haymitch’s arms all her worries disappeared.

“You mean well” she corrected him affectionately.

He shifted so his head laid on her chest, and she distractedly combed through his hair with her fingers. It had been a hard night and, with the incoming games looming over them, she knew they’d get only harder.

“Katniss’ interview didn’t go too badly” she mused, remembering Haymitch’s words.

“Nah, but she wasn’t good like the boy”.

“See, that’s why we shouldn’t give up on him yet!”

“Effie, it was his decision, not mine”.

He was tired, and she decided to comply with his silent pleas. She was just about to close her eyes, let Haymitch’s weight and warmth ease her into sleep, when he spoke again.

“Are you angry with me?”. She looked down at him, and for a second confusion took over. Why on earth would she be mad at him, of all people? Then she remembered. His retaliation in response to Katniss’ attacks, his hard words toward the girl.

“No, I am not. Just… next time don’t do it again”.

He chastely kissed Effie’s right breast, stroking her hips. A small way of complying. Years ago, he never did these things. She didn’t remember when he’d started to be gentle, not only seeking her out for sex, but when it happened, she noticed. Whatever changed she did not know.

He dozed off right away, soothed by the rise and fall of her chest. It was then that she kissed his forehead and, sure he wasn’t awake, allowed herself to say what she didn’t dare to voice. The words she could never tell him, unless when he was sound asleep. “I love you”. It was a small whisper, barely audible.

Afterwards, she closed her eyes. And if fatigue hadn’t claimed her, she would have felt his arms tighten around her.