#because all he wanted is to not be killed by people he knew. or best friend of the only friend he has ever had /утрир золотце еще был

[justmenoworries]

All of the above, plus there's a really insidious underlying message that non-straight relationships are at best doomed to fail and end unhappily or at worst wrong or unnatural.

At one point one of the girls proposes piloting in a f/f pair, ostensibly so they can be prepared if one of the male pilots becomes unavailable but it's pretty obvious she's really doing it because she has a crush on one of the other girls. The f/f pair fails at even getting the robot to move, the girl's partner says that she feels nothing and the girl is left heartbroken, with the partner then rubbing it in again by stating that she "knew it wouldn't work without a boy".

Then the canonically lesbian character is forced to pliot with male partners for the rest of the anime, which given that piloting is equivalent to sex is really gross, until she overexerts herself to the point her body becomes irreparably damaged and she dies young while all of her heterosexual squadmates live happily ever after and have lots of babies.

Her arc comes in tandem with one of the boys who had a crush on the male lead since they were all kids and even wanted to pilot a robot together with him, which the male lead agreed to. But then the government wiped ML's mind so he forgot about that promise, breaking the guy's heart.

So in the present the guy is portrayed as utterly miserable and sad, until he bonds with one of the girls in their squad, becomes her pilot partner and baby daddy, gives in to heterosexuality and teenage fatherhood and has a good christian wedding with her. No, I am very much not joking, these two teenagers have a shotgun wedding after she emotionally blackmails him into getting her preggers and that is portrayed as a good and wholesome thing.

And if you thought this anime's take on non-hetero couples were horrible, wait what they have to say about gender identity!

The female lead who exhibits more stereotypically masculine traits is portrayed as problematic and unstable and in need of a man healing all of her emotional baggage so she can finally stop being so annoyingly independent and become more of a submissive non-disruptive housewife.

There is a whole squad of kids who are heavily implied to be non-binary or at the very least not cisgender (though the term is never used that is very obviously what the anime is going for) and who find the concept of a binary boy/girl separation antiquated and backwards, pilot their giant robots in unusual ways, where the more masculine pilots are in the more submissive position while the more feminine ones are in the more dominant position and point out that wanting to have a baby when you're a teenager and fighting a war is stupid as fuck.

They're portrayed as creepy, unnatural and evil and two of them are violently killed in action in a manner that is very reminiscent of sexual assault. Yeah.

People will praise this anime for having queer themes and characters and then completely ignore that it uses them explicitly for heteronormative propaganda.

hol up what's the deal with darling in the franxx 😳

It's an anime from 2018 that's about kids piloting giant robots to fight monsters with the power of..... well I have no idea what, but it's tied to sexuality. It's controversial bc it perpetuates outdated sexual teachings and stereotypes, and also the writing sucks ass. I could talk for days on the subject of why it sucks bc it's honestly one of the worst shows I've seen in my life jdskbajkvjkkj

[marsupials-of-mars]

I think billford fans every once in a while should step back from the emotional turmoil of the "Sometimes...I miss him. and i hate myself for that..." (which is very very good and fun) and examine some very interesting elements of canon which I think are overlooked in favor of angst.

Namely, the fact that there is NO indication at any point that Ford ever looked back. As in, once he found out about the betrayal, he never once (in observable canon) considered it an option to return to Bill. He had no regrets when it came to the falling out. He had regrets about what led to it, but "bill you lied to me! where does that portal really lead?!" Were his first words after the fight, and "ill stop you! I'll shut it down!" were the second. Barely even addressing the betrayal.

From the first paragraph of TBOB post-betrayal, his entire focus is on stopping armageddon, while repeatedly telling Bill via writing that he plans on DESTROYING him. He is unresponsive to ANY attempts to "talk". He is ready to KILL INSTANTLY.

Which brings me to Bill. Because i think BILL was expecting none of this. Bill expected anger, but he saw it as an emotional obstacle. Because he DID NOT KNOW/UNDERSTAND STANFORD. The two of them are, in reality NOTHING ALIKE.

The "hes the only one who's ever understood me" was almost entirely projection on both sides. Ford was being lied to, the friend he knew never existed, and so why would he care about Bill? To him, Bill basically killed his friend and spit on his grave. He mourns that friend, but why would he go to his murderer for comfort?

Bill is stupider, because Bill knew he was lying. Bill knew that the version of Ford he was relating to and falling in love with DID NOT KNOW WHO HE WAS. He projected his own wants and desires on Ford, all while keeping them secret. because as long as he never gave Ford the chance to disprove their connection, who's to say his wants and desires weren't the same, in a way, deep down? He thought ford was a mad morally grey freak scientist (Which is a common fan interpretation and valid, but canon bill is not in the fandom, he is trying to fall in love, so his differing opinions are unfortunately invalid).

While Ford is a freak, drawn to the strange and often evil, often has trouble with empathy and street smarts due to his impulsivity, wanted a fictional deer to kill fictional deer because he felt excluded...He isn't morally grey. I need people to understand this. Ford is a HERO. Ford is always doing what he thinks is best for the world at large. He found out he'd made a mistake, and dedicated his life, without ANY question, to fixing that mistake.

Bill made a severe miscalculation. Because the betrayal was not a LYING issue. the issue wasnt pretending to be someone he wasn't. the betrayal was an APOCALYPSE issue. While Bill may have objectively known Ford would dislike the apocalypse, he didn't realize it would be an instant dealbreaker. But Ford got the ick. it was over for him the moment he learned the truth. it wasnt even a "betrayal" to him, for the most part. It was "There is a villain trying to end the world, and I need to stop him"

(TL;DR: for Ford, in canon, anything that was or could have ever been between he and Bill was dead and buried the second he knew the truth. He is the hero, and he must destroy the villain.)

[mendessi]

things i say when you sleep | chapter one

multi chapter bodhi durran x fem!oc word count: 4.9k summary: Ania crosses the Parapet into the Riders Quadrant, and finally meets with the marked children of those who got her parents and brother killed. Bodhi Durran is quick to remind her that she's marked too. tags: slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, she falls first he falls harder, majority canon compliant, some canon deviance, eventual smut, angst with a happy ending, additional tags to be added

AO3 masterlist

one | two | three | ...

Observant.

The words I had always heard used to describe myself. I spent my whole life watching, and observing those around me in their day to day. I always needed to know everything. I could never let it go if I couldn’t perfect it first. I intend to carry this strategy across the Parapet. I picked it up as a child and had no choice but to refine it after my parents and brother died at the end of the Apostasy. It’s how I survived the training that led me to this winding staircase.

I listen carefully to the conversations happening in front of and behind me, but I never engage with the chatter. I don’t care to learn the names of anybody on this staircase. Maybe I’ll care once we live to transition from candidate to cadet.

I am here because I have to be. Not because I want to be.

The shimmering relic crawling up my arm earned me a one-way ticket straight into the Riders Quadrant should I make it across the Parapet.

My heart thumps against my chest as the top comes into sight, three riders clad in all black keeping post. I keep my eyes on the stairs, taking one step at a time, my knuckles turning white from the grip I have on the straps of my rucksack.

“Next.” The rider recording names says. “Name.” He speaks quickly, with no time for niceties. He’s been here all morning watching candidates fall to their deaths. I could be next for all he knows.

“Ania Alistair,” I reply. I step around him when he nods his head.

My jaw clenches at the sight of the rider standing at the opening to the Parapet. He’s certainly grown since the last time I saw him six years ago. He’s grown into his height, his shoulders broader, his cheekbones and jawline now more prominent. He had bulked up, surely a result of being a rider. His eyes meet mine and his eyebrows raise, if only for a moment. I knew I would see him here, I just didn’t think this soon.

“Xaden,” I say his name. I am not the thirteen-year-old girl he last saw in Calldyr.

“Ani.” He replies, looking down at me as if testing the waters. “I was expecting you.”

"Don't call me that." 

The day that was now known as the rebellion had ended, I had been following my older brother, Beckett, in Aretia. He had become so secretive, him and all of his friends. I wanted to know what they were and why he kept them from me.

There had never been secrets between us before, and ever since Tyrrendor had begun a secession it felt like there was a brick wall between them. Our parents had been in another fight, the fight that ended their marriage and I didn’t find it fair that he had left me behind.

Our mother didn’t agree with the Apostasy and wanted to take Beckett and I to Navarre to declare our loyalty. Her mother was a rider, how could we ever betray that?  My father was Fen Riorson’s best friend and right hand man and believed that keeping us in Aretia was the safest option. He had an extremely active role in the Apostasy.

I crept behind the wall watching as Beckett engaged in a deep conversation with Xaden and his cousin Bodhi.

Fen had always said that with Xaden first in line to the throne, he was betrothed to a Poromish girl named Catriona, and Bodhi was betrothed to me because he was second in line. At a young age, I never understood why I of all people, but Beckett and Xaden always teased us about it.

“Ania, I know you’re there.” Beckett had called out. I rounded the corner with a frown and looked between him and his friends.

“Hi, little Alistair.” Xaden greeted me, turning his body away from Garrick. Bodhi gave me a small wave and I couldn't help the way my cheeks flushed.

His friends were some I had spent my entire life around. I saw them more than I saw my friends. They’d been around for as long as I can remember. Fen and Talia had held me the day I was born, a great family friend to my parents. Even Xaden, at three years old, had held me. My father eventually got caught up in whatever it was that led to the Apostasy.

“You can’t be here, Ani,” Beckett said as he approached me, lowering his voice.

“No, you don’t get it. Mom and Dad are fighting again. But it’s bad this time, Dad is packing our things. Our things. Not just his.” I lowered her voice to match his, glancing over at Xaden and Bodhi, too occupied in their conversation to overhear.

“Something is happening, you have to go home.” He said as he placed his hands on my shoulders with a firm grip. Anxiety swam in his eyes and I could almost sense it radiating off of him.

“Come with me.” I could feel the tears prickling my eyes. “I’m scared.”

He took a deep breath and then looked to Xaden and Bodhi, “I’m going to walk her home. I’ll be back in less than twenty minutes, I swear.”

“Safely.” That was all Xaden said and we were off. Beckett kept my hand in his, tugging me quickly through the streets.

I knew Navarre had not been happy with us but my parents had assured us that we were safe here. Until my mother decided otherwise, but I trusted that they’d never put us in harm’s way.

When we arrived home, our entire home looked like it had been ransacked. The bookshelves were thrown to the ground, and books were scattered across the living room. Our rooms were torn apart as well as if someone had been looking for something.

“Ani, stay behind me,” Beckett said quietly.

I gripped the back of Beckett’s tunic in my hand as we approached our parents' rooms and as he pushed the door open a scream ripped through my throat. I ran to my mother’s lifeless body on the floor ignoring Beckett’s objections. The blood that spilled from my mother’s throat seemed nonstop, covering my clothes as I sat in it, my hands covered in it as I tried to stop the bleeding.

“Beckett!” I cried out. “Please do something. Did Dad do this?”

“No.” He breathed out. “This wasn’t Dad.”

Fight or flight took over and he grabbed me by my tunic, shoving me into the closet. “You have to stay here, do you hear me? Don’t go anywhere until I come back for you. I will come back for you.”

Beckett never came back. But Navarrian infantry did.

When Xaden saw me in Calldyr for the executions of our parents, he shielded my eyes so that I didn’t have to see. He and Bodhi stood on either side of me until we were split up to go to our designated foster homes. They both fought against the guards, trying to ensure that I’d stay put with at least one of them. I wasn’t.

From that day forward, whether it was his fault or not, I blamed him for the death of Beckett. My parents too, even. My mother wanted no part in this rebellion. My father had been captured after he fled, leaving Beckett and I behind, and now had been executed right in front of me and the rest of the rebellion kids. I knew for a fact that Beckett had left me in that closet to run after Xaden and Bodhi.

I hated them all.

My shoulders twitched slightly as thunder boomed across the sky. Xaden noticed it, however. “Good luck.” Was all he could say to me.

I made it across without so much as a slip despite the downpour of rain. Once in the courtyard, I study it carefully from my place against a pillar. I have no interest in making any friends here. I’m here because I have to be, not because I want to be. I’d much rather be with the healers, like my mother. I observed the other cadets around me, taking note of who seemed to be a potential threat in size. It was hard to tell in any other way, too soon. I wasn’t terribly short, simply average. I had been lucky enough to be fostered in a home that trained specifically in hand-to-hand combat. If you count the fake sparring I used to participate in with my brother and his friends, then I’d say extra training. Though it didn’t matter the amount of training I had, that could only help so much if my opponent was bigger. I was told stories by my grandmother and in this moment I am replaying every single one in my head. It is just how she described it.

I watched and watched, observing those who came into the courtyard after crossing the Parapet.

Observing others is what got me this far. So long as I stayed quiet and didn’t make any enemies, I could make it Threshing and bond. I just need to remain unseen.

After being placed into Second Squad, Flame Section, Second Wing, I once again took note of those around me. My new squamates. Most notable was the petite girl with silver hair, to who I caught on quickly was Violet fucking Sorrengail. The girl’s mother oversaw my father’s execution and probably had a hand in my mother’s too. If that wasn’t bad enough, my squad ended up being moved into Xaden’s wing.

My bed unfortunately was positioned right next to my squadmate, Rhiannon, who was placed next to Violet. The two already seemed acquainted before they even crossed the Parapet, but I didn’t bother asking how they knew each other. I opened my journal, leaning against the flimsy headboard, and began writing about my first day in the quadrant.

“Hi,” Rhiannon says, though I’m not sure if she’s talking to me. “I’m Rhiannon. You can call me Rhi. We haven’t officially met yet.”

With a small sigh, I shut my journal and turn to face Rhiannon, “I’m Ania.” Don’t make enemies.

“This is Violet.” She gestures to Violet who sits on the edge of her bed.

“I’m Violet.” She offers a short wave.

I hum in response and then turn back to my journal, drawing out one of the dragons I had seen today. Gods, they were incredible.

“I just figured you know, we’re in the same squad, so we’ll be spending a lot of time together. We should get acquainted.”

“Consider us acquainted,” I say in the nicest way possible. I can see out of the corner of my eye the shared look between the two girls, but I keep a snide remark to myself.

After morning formation the next day, I quickly decided that while maybe attractive, my squad leader Dain Aetos was particularly annoying. As I watch from my place back one and to the left, it's easy to catch on that Dain and Violet have a history. The sort of history I couldn’t quite figure out, but with a few more interactions I could pin it.

As the Second Squad made our way into Battle Brief, I felt someone reaching for my wrist. I’d done so good at keeping my relic covered, I don’t think anyone even suspected I was what they call a Marked one. My defenses automatically up, I turn on my heel, shoving my forearm into the person’s throat, using my weight to shove them against the pillar.

“Not bad, Ani,” Xaden says, gently removing my arm from his throat. "I taught you well."

“Don’t sneak up on me like that. And don't fucking call me that.” I snap, as I take a step back. "You didn't teach me anything."

“Tell me, why is it you’re so jumpy? You’re not hiding something are you?” He glances down at my covered arm. “It’s July, why are you wearing long sleeves?”

“None of your business,” I reply, tugging my sleeves down over my hands.

“I understand you’re not fond of me, but regardless, I’m in your corner whether you like it or not. I can help you here.” Xaden’s voice lowers.

With a glance around, I catch Violet staring, but she quickly averts her gaze when she realizes she’s been caught. “I don’t need your help, Xaden. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“I’m your wingleader, though I doubt you need reminding. We grew up together, Ania, so trust that you will be watched over.” Xaden takes a step forward. “There’s no date set in stone, but you’ll be meeting with me and the other Marked ones in the woods-“

“I’m sorry?” I practically fume.

“I’m speaking, Ania.” He snaps and I almost flinch. I’ve only ever seen him angry once in my life and I have no intention of seeing it again. “Just do me a favor and try not to be a pain in my ass.”

We certainly are not kids in Aretia anymore.

Without another word, he stalks off and I have half the decency to not flip him off behind his back. He didn’t even finish his conversation which pisses me off even more as I follow the rest of my squad into Battle Brief. Who the hell does he think he is? Grabbing my wrist and demanding I meet him and the other Marked ones. And for what exactly? I haven’t seen him in six years and he was hardly the boy I remembered. If I can just keep my distance from him and the rest of the Marked ones, I will be just fine.

Battle Brief was hardly anything I found interesting. I simply took notes, didn’t ask any questions, and observed. I paid attention to who paid attention, Violet Sorrengail was annoyingly one of those people. Of course, the girl was smart. Ridoc Gamlyn was a class clown, who I kind of hate to admit was actually really funny.

I had always accelerated in school, far more than anyone in my class. It was something I prided myself on, something my parents were proud of too. I remember the days when Beckett, Xaden, and Bodhi would ask me questions as if I were some sort of lexicon just to see if I knew the answer. I always loved knowing more than others. I met my match in Violet Sorrengail.

I sat next to Rhiannon and Violet (unfortunately) when it came time for assessment in the sparring gym. I didn’t feel any special sort of way about it, I’d either get my ass handed to me or I would take the victory. Something in me told me that I’d come out on top as I watched the other first-years spar. I had a particular skill when it came to hand-to-hand thanks to my foster home.

I can’t help but eavesdrop on Rhiannon and Violet’s conversation taking place next to me. As much as I want to hate Violet, just like the rest of the first years, she and Rhiannon both seemed to have good heads on their shoulders. They were nice which was hard to come by at Basgiath. You’d think these two had known each other for years the way they acted, but I was struck with surprise to find out that they had only met before crossing the Parapet. It had always been hard for me to make friends and maybe that was my own fault, my own incessant need to exclude myself. Things now remained how they always had been.

I begin short-handing into my notebook quickly as I watch Ridoc and Aurelia spar, recording each of their fighting habits. I’d done so for every person who stepped on the mat, mentally tucking their patterns into a drawer in my head to use the day I had to spar with one of them.

“What are you doing?” Rhiannon asks, turning her head to look at me. Ever so nosy.

“It’s assessment day,” I say, my eyes not leaving Ridoc and Aurelia on the mat, despite my hand rapidly scribbling into my notebook. Gods, I can’t wait for the day I hold lesser magic, I can stop using these annoying quills. “I’m assessing.”

“That looks like chicken scratch,” Violet says leaning over Rhiannon to look at my handwriting. She wasn’t wrong. I had to write quickly to keep up with what was happening in front of me, so words were cut short, often abbreviated to one letter or number. The only legible thing was the title at the top of the page, Ridoc & Aurelie next to today’s date.

I slam my notebook shut and pull it close to my chest, “Well, it’s not for you to read. Do you two know anything about privacy?”

“I was just curious.” Rhiannon shrugs before getting called to the mat to spar with another first-year in our squad, Tynan, after Aurelia had her tooth knocked out. Just after Jack Barlow snapped a kid’s neck. Avoid him at all costs.

I can feel Violet’s hesitation before she moves closer to me. “I think that’s a pretty neat way of keeping track of-“ She stops at my side eye, “It’s strategy. I get it.”

I take a deep breath, debating on if I wish to reply to her. If I do, she’ll know that I’m just as smart as she is. “When I was in training, my instructor taught me that each move gets a number or letter.” I open my notebook and allow Violet to take a look. We both turn to Rhiannon as I write quickly. “One, one, two, five, four, three, five, six.” That was the combo she just threw. At least that’s what I was taught, it may be different here.”

“That’s… really smart actually.” Violet’s brows furrowed as she read over the notes I had taken for the day. “Where did you train exactly?”

“That’s none of your business.” I close my notebook and shove it into my bag, along with the pesky quill and topped ink pot.

“Too personal. Got it.” Violet turns her focus back to Rhiannon and doesn’t try talking to me again.

“You.” Emetterio says with a finger pointed at me, “And Cadet Hollis.”

I stand from the bench and step onto the edge of the mat rolling my shoulders.

“Good luck,” Rhiannon says as she takes my seat on the bench. “She’s a second year.”

That’s hardly a problem. I ignore her and take my place in the center of the mat and take a deep breath, drowning out everyone standing around the mat. I just need to track her fighting patterns and then counter them. Simple. I can do that.

Cadet Hollis, who I believe is named Quinn, joins me in the center of the mat and takes her fighting stance. I step my right foot backward and raise my hands, ensuring my face is blocked.

She moves first, taking a series of swings and kicks at me to which I slip each one much to her surprise. I track her pattern, it’s all the same, all within such a short spur of time. One, one two three, two. That’s a common pattern she follows, one of the first I learned, when she’s not trying to get her hands on me. When she takes another step with her left foot and I’m sure she’s gonna do the same thing, I slip her first throw and swing a rear hook directly into her jaw causing her to stumble backwards.

“I know what you are, Ania,” Quinn says as she bounces on the balls of her feet closer to me. Her voice is low, just loud enough for me to hear it. “They’ll all know it too. Stop hiding it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I seethe through clenched teeth as she unsheathes a dagger. I unsheathe mine too, the only one I brought with me. If she wants a knife fight, then she’ll get one.

“It’s July. You’re the only one wearing long sleeves.” My brows furrow. Xaden must’ve talked to her about me. She lunges towards me and I sidestep enough to dodge a deeper cut than what she gives me. I hiss through my teeth but I don’t give her the satisfaction of hearing me scream in pain. I feel the blood trickling down my arm as I clench my dagger so tightly that my knuckles turn white. “Why is that Cadet Alistair.” It’s not a question.

"Alistair?" I hear the whispers on the side of the mat but I force them out. 

She lunges again but I’m ready. My arms wrap around her waist as I slip under her swing. I’m behind her now, my hands wrapped around hers above her head as she tries to fight my grip. I manage to pry her fingers from around her dagger, knocking it to the floor and before she can reach for another, I drop the one in my hand and catch it under her arm. I slam the hilt into her ribs eliciting a scream from her. I kick her in the back of her knees and she falls to the ground. I give her too much grace, thinking she’ll yield but she kicks her leg directly back, connecting with my kneecap. I fall to the ground and she’s on top of me in a second, both of us rolling around for dominance. I fall onto my back finally with Quinn in a headlock.

“Yield,” I say, but it barely comes out above a breath. I know for a fact she hears me.

“Stop. Hiding.” She strains to reply.

She raises a hand and for a moment I think she might be tapping out. Instead, her fingers dig into the slit on my tunic from her earlier cut and directly into the gash where she drew blood. I cry out as I feel the skin at the edges of my wound splitting wider, but I refuse to let go and so does she. She pulls down with her fingers and my sleeve rips completely off. I hear the gasp from my squamates and I realize Quinn’s intention. I roll over and release, her, standing to my feet quickly, my relic now on full display. I stand over her and grab her shoulder forcing her to roll over, my feet on both sides of her ribs. I grab her collar into my fist and lift her back off the mat, making sure she’s making eye contact with me before I punch her directly in the nose, hard enough that I hear the bone crack.

“Ruthless.” I hear Ridoc whisper.

“It’s always the quiet ones.” I hear Violet say.

“I yield,” I say through a heavy breath as I release Quinn’s collar, shoving her back into the mat.

I don’t bother to look at any of my squamates, not caring to see the shock on their faces as I exit the gym and head to the healers.

I knew I couldn’t hide this Gods forsaken relic forever, but more than a day would’ve been nice. I can still remain unseen and keep to myself. I can still avoid creating enemies. 

I can hardly bare the idea of returning to the shared dormitory and find myself sitting in the courtyard against one of the pillars. It's past curfew but I hardly find it in me to care. I just need a breather after today.

My first day here didn't exactly go as planned but I will prevail and move forward. It's impossible to survive here without the thickest of skin. I need to focus on what I can control. What I can control is that I earned a victory today at the assessment against a second year. 

Ruthless. That is what Ridoc had called me. I hope that reputation doesn't stick. 

I take a deep breath and look up at the night sky. Gray clouds scatter the sky and the stars look so bright. It reminds me of-

"They're not as bright here as they are from the roof of Riorson house." I don't have time to finish the thought. I go to stand, expecting Xaden to come out of the shadows. "It's past curfew."

"Bodhi," I say from the awkward crouching position I'm in.

"It's fine." He says before he sits next to me. He has the decency to leave some space in between us as he looks up at the stars. "I won't tell the wingleader." 

I take the moment of silence to truly look at him. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him since becoming a cadet, though I can't complain because I made it a top priority. I still associate him and his cousin with Beckett's death. The last time I'd seen him he was an awkward fifteen-year-old still growing into himself. I hate to admit but he was much more handsome now. He still has that familiar warmth and softness to him. His dark curls are much more tame than they had been when we were teenagers, his brown skin now clear from any blemishes. He was... beautiful. Younger me wouldn't mind the silly idea of being "betrothed" to him. 

"I'm glad you made it, Ani." He says quietly. I don't correct him. 

"I didn't have a choice, did I?" I roll my eyes tugging at the grass sprouting through the cracks in the concrete. "It was this or death, so." 

His mouth moves but he doesn't speak. I can tell he's choosing his next words carefully, "I saw you spar today."

"And?" I say. I don't know if I don't care or if I want to know what he thinks.

"You broke Quinn's nose." The corner of his mouth twitches up into a small smile. 

"Don't act like she didn't deserve it." I grimace. 

"Hey, I didn't say she didn't." He laughs and I turn my head to catch the sight. He always had a great smile. "You fought well. We were all impressed."

"Who's we?" I ask, looking down at my hands that are now folded in my lap.

"Everyone that had a chance to watch it. There are a lot of good fighters in the first years, but none can take out a second year the way you did today." 

I nod my head slowly. I know I'm good, I'd been told before by my instructors, but hearing it from others doesn't do so much as boost my ego. Hearing it from Bodhi feels... different. Somewhere deep inside me, I feel a sense of validation that I didn't know I was looking for.

"I don't think anyone will be challenging you that's for sure." He hesitates again and I can almost feel that he's about to piss me off with his next words. "Xaden hasn't been taking the best approach with you, has he?"

"What, so he sent you instead?" Of course, this is about Xaden. The rage returns. "Let me make something clear-"

"Ani." He stands up just as I do and I'm almost shocked at how much he towers over me. There was a short period of our lives when I was taller than him. 

"I want not a single fucking thing to do with you or him or anyone with a damned relic on their arm. I'm here because I have to be, not because I want to be so don't think for a second that just because we're all in the same place again things will be like they were in Aretia."

"Hey." His voice is sharp as he grabs my left arm into his hand pulling it up in between our bodies as he steps towards me, "You have a damned relic too in case you forgot." His pointer finger touches his thumb around my wrist and I'm made aware of just how much he's grown. 

"And I shouldn't." I yank my arm from his grip. If only my mother would have gotten me and Beckett to Navarre safely before the Apostasy. If only she would've been able to declare our loyalty. She and Beckett would still be here.

"There is so much that you don't understand. Let us help you. Please, Ani." His voice is softer now, an emotion I'm not familiar with swimming in his eyes. 

"Just stay away the hell away from me. I won't ask twice." 

I turn on my heel and walk away from him. My hands shake with anger and I clench my fists to try and control it. Ever since my final days in Aretia, I have become such a resentful person. I never had this issue as a child, I never even threw temper tantrums and now it's all I wanted to do. I had a happy childhood aside from my parents' end of their rocky marriage. I was always a happy and pleasant child. I hated feeling this way. I needed to be in control.

Focus on what you can control.

I take the deepest, shaky breaths I can muster until it doesn't feel so hard to breathe anymore. I take one more for good measure before entering the dormitory as quietly as possible.

Just remain unseen, keep to yourself.

Don't. Create. Enemies.

previous | chapter two

[the-lonelyshepherd]

also if youre still taking oc asks i would like to hear about emiliano and rafa. just everything about them their dynamic is so interesting to me

ALWAYS TAKING OC ASKS!!!

ok this is gonna be a reworked rant i wrote somewhere else -> the beginning part is explaining the setup of this plot version (that im 99% keeping) bc it’s important to rafa/emil

right!!! so so so the idea for the separation thing is to have like. sometime early on in the first threshold the og five (cat shay rafa emiliano sebas) get separated (there is kind of a scene for this but monster design is killing me so) . this leaves cat (probably injured atp) and shay together on one side with just the horses they were on, and rafa emiliano and sebas on the other with their horses + whatever other stock they had with them.

this puts cat (most untrusting bitch ever) in a situation w. shay (random ass lwk useless girl rafa invited along with them). alas she is also injured and has like . morals. so she won't (can't ) just leave her. she also has none of her family and tbh if she's thinking the worst like. they're dead. lols

shay is kind of like. well ok then. shay is shay😭😭

she is lost confused and still somehow like yay yippee (??? she’s stupid ??) bc really all girl wanted was to LEAVE her stupid ass house. she’s a weee bit frightened bc like. well the only person here is kind of angry at me a lot. and the one person i knew (for like. two days longer than the others Imao) is probably dead along with everyone else we were with and sorry what the fuck was that thing also .. so!!! but she will take this as an opportunity to get validation somehow trust

on the other side ok emiliano and sebas are kind of non characters to me in this moment. like they’re characters but they’re not at the point where they’re like PEOPLE to me and i’m working on that i just got distracted .

for emil - i changed him a lot recently still waiting to really GET him but um key points

type of guy to take engineering

Iwk pathetic sadman but like. smart

hes like rafas more consistent less flashy less charismatic friend

he does like. consider him and rafa to be friends. he doesnt like secretly hate him (well. well ok not really but later on its kind of. ill get there)

likes maps. hes like. a technical drawey guy. he fits w cat like he is kind of everything cat thinks she should want . sigh.

most important in this current situation is rafa

• because i like him the most. currently. 

thats ok thats not why but its like kiiind of why. bc that results in him being more developed (bc lets face it scs is far from finished i fear..) than the other guys in this situation. so!

rafa is like oh shit!! oh shit! be things just got a little. like real. or very real i guess. and ok - rafa is like. he isnt lazy really he isnt untalented hes just kind of. he started being seen as like the charismatic laid back guy and thats like. he was like ok thats what i am!! that is me. he is good at what he does but he rarely fully applies himself but its also like. partially out of fear that he wouldnt be enough if he really really really tried. so its like might as well be silly about it and still pretty good and not really. reach. um. but now hes in a situation where like they have all this shit to do and cat isnt here and its like ok he has his best friend and like. a child. and a bunch of horses/cows (still deciding what theyre moving in the beginning). what does he DO now.

he kind of tries to step up a little bit but tbh., even if he didnt WANT to (bc he genuinely cares about cat a lot and it upsets him how much she puts on herself) hes kind of painfully realizing now that he did still put a LOT on cat. like he did rely on her to be like get your ass up and move. idiot. and now she is not here and its like welllill. i should be kind of in charge but how.. and in that hesitation its emiliano who really kind of. shines. like ok map boy go off. go crazy. whatever. but he does kind of pull their ass through and get them organized and rafa is like. oh maybe i dhould appreciate him for like. his skills and not just like . #my friend who backs me up. but he is also a little like. quiet angry at himself mostly like .oh so i was right !! i really couldnt do it. hm.

feel the need 2 clarify here. rafa did like. he genuinely was like this is emiliano he is my best friend :)) we are best friends. :)) he didnt ever like brush him off or not pay full attention to be MEAN he was just kind of. rafa. like thats just him thats how he is esp when someone isn’t at like . the same energy level? and like ok maybe deep down he was like wow im kind of carrying emiliano. and now hes realizing like oh ..maybe i wasnt. maybe im the problem a little bit. and he is not having a great time about that. 

oh also !! before this (group getting separated) he was lwk beefing with emil about like. him kind of not caring as much about rafa as he did in favor of spending more time w cat. like hey youre supposed to be my best friend.

he kind of starts to reconcile with it and like. i will apreesh him more.... like yayy friends. but he does this in standard rafa way and it is just like. hey can you. we are in a Situation here. stop fucking around PLEASE. and before any type of meaning ful change in their dynamic can happen they run into kasias whole little situation and like. it all finally really dramatically flips here

rafa/emil/sebas have like. a bunch of animals and supplies with them so kasias group is like ok awesome. we dont really feel like killing some like. barely adults and a child (not everyone sucks awfulbad ok. or at least theyll give people a chance to be useful +they need meat. just realized how that sounds. not like cannibalisms well waitttt maybeeee i can use that hmm. ok note that ) anwyaysy !! they dont kill them or leave them so they are like hey. you can come w us if you give us your stuff and we will take care of you and such. and the three of them who have been like. experieing the horrors are like yeah ok. well. rafa is actually a little suspicious for fucking once but its msotly bc hes been angry in the head and not for any real reasons. but emil is like. ok we have no other options really sure. and then they do that!

when theyre w kasia it like. completely flips bc rafa is back to his like. he is trying to be Himself but nobody really appreciates that here. they like emiliano, who fucking mans up and does shit and learns. even sebas is like doing little things and rafa is kind of stewing in his upsetness a little bit. emil is getting more and more distant and getting more and more important jobs and rafa is like. he can Talk!! he is Fine. but he doesnt really appply himself enough!! like at the end of the day he doesnt be hes scared and hes angry and he feels like the person he thought actually relied on him actually did not. at all. and that maybe  this is the “real world" his parents would always tell him about and he guesses they were fucking right and nobody fucking needs him!! fucking whatevver. he will mope and be angry about this.

for emil its like. he watches he listens he

ADAPTS and people. they LIKE rafa. but they RESPECT emiliano. and emil is thriving on this respect hes like. holy shit this is what its like. like wow. hes not quiet like uncertain anymore hes quiet like hes calculating. hes looking at other people where he would have always looked at rafa. hes not backing rafa up, hes not like. laughing at his jokes as much., and he does kind of get busy and distance from rafa and rafa is like fine what fucking ever youre growing up and away i guess that just happens!! and hes kind of coming to terms with it in his like. own way but then. like we arent kids anymore i guess. but then!!

when cat and shay pull up after a while (in AWFUL form btw . giggles) its like. ok so emiliano didnt REALLY like. he wasnt changing as a person. he was just growing out of rafa. because why is it that as soon as cat is back he fucking clicks righttt back into place with HER? and its like oh. so she was the one you were waiting for ? after years of us? because what because you fucking LIKE her or whatever? since what . june of last year . like when we were eight you twisted your ankle when we were fucking around and jumping off of the barn roof and i carried you all the way back to my house but none of that matters now i guess .  

like atp rafa is like oh so you never needed me. like hes on it is not pretty for him he is so so happy cat is back but he also hates himself for how stupidly MAD about it he is. about this whole fucking situaiton he was always so like. confident!! he knew who he was even if it wasnt always the best he knew!! but like. did he. was reducing himself to that even worth it. lol.

and its at this point hes like. fuck it. and he starts to like reallyyyy lean into the group. show what he can really fucking do like. his competetive streak wakes up again but in like. fueled by him being very upset. nobody in this stupid ass story can live without validation. excet kasia i guess but whatever kasia has going on is far worse. but yeah that’s what kind of starts rafas whole like . big flip in character that will probably eventually be the reason he dies. a little . uh oh

[dufferpuffer]

Claiming it was disrespectful to call off the werewolf essay might be stretch…

A substitute teacher should not deviate from what the regular teacher planned. It’s not disrespectful for Lupin to call off the assignment, it’s disrespectful for Snape to deliver it in the first place. Not because of the subject matter, but because it’s undermining what Lupin planned and deems appropriate for his students to spend their time on. If Lupin is planning to get them to work on an essay or project about anything he has been teaching, it’s distracting and detrimental to his schedule for the kids to be worried about Snape’s spin-off rogue homework. It should have been proposed as optional extra credit at best, but as the main teacher Remus has every right to call it off.

It’s true, in an ideal world maybe Remus would have prepared something (both class and homework) for Snape to deliver, but it’s very obvious by their relationship that Snape was merely trying to gratuitously criticise Lupin in front of his class.

It’s also a stretch to say Snape is a good teacher. As a teacher myself, I see your appreciation for the admin side and for the high standards for results that Snape clearly values, but there’s also an obvious contempt for anyone who cannot keep up with his methodology, which is unfair, discouraging, and results in cases like Neville and Ron, who become completely disengaged and disinterested in learning potions. Harry himself saw immediate progress when Snape’s oppressive presence was no longer in the room - brewing a potion for his OWL examiners in OotP, and seemed to count a lot on Hermione’s help to study. Of the entire Gryffindor year, only Harry, Ron and Hermione made it to NEWT level, and Harry himself was dreading to continue his studies, had it not been for his desire to pursue a career as an auror. He’s not a good teacher that “some people simply don’t mesh with” if he has no patience or plans to bring the students who are struggling up to speed with the rest of the cohort, not to mention his blatant favouritism towards Slytherin and Draco, which only encouraged bullying and rivalry in his class.

Snape as a DADA teacher is surprisingly more reasonable, but still appalling in his relationships with students.

You can write an essay on a 10ft long parchment about how bad of a teacher Lupin is if you want - I am perpetually baffled by the incredibly arbitrary takes people have on pedagogy and learning when it comes to discussing Hogwarts teachers, but you can’t seriously suggest Snape is a good one.

Professor Binns has been teaching for centuries. He is also by no means a good teacher. Snape’s years of experience over Lupin, or Hagrid, have somehow only made him more bitter and dissatisfied with his job.

Remus' disrespect - and Severus as a teacher:

I don't think Remus is a bad teacher. I think he is a good teacher. And for his first year - EXCEPTIONALLY good. Raw talent. I just don't think Snapes observations were wrong. Overly judgemental for a man in his first year? Sure. But not wrong.

I see what you mean about Snapes rogue essay being disrespectful to Remus' lesson structure. He wanted to teach Hinkeypunks next - he's caught one and everything.

...Except this wasn't a rogue substitute lesson. Remus Lupin knows when every single Full Moon will be for his whole life. Fun fact: on his 79th Birthday, 2039, there will be a Full Moon. From the moment he got his schedule he knew when he would have days off and yet he prepared absolutely nothing for Severus to do.

Not only that - he knows why Severus takes Lycanthropy so seriously. He knows Severus is holding himself back under the flimsiest trust that Remus might not be wanting to kill kids. He knows that Severus is brewing him Wolfsbane perfectly to keep him safer - though there's a high risk of error. It's difficult.

Yet all Remus does all year, rather than giving Severus any sign that he is working WITH him, that he ALSO wants to keep the kids safe, that he is being RESPONSIBLE about his condition and his job as an educator... is grind his heel into Severus' toe.

Severus is thinking "If I mess up even one dose of the potion there will be a XXXXX ranked Magical Beast out for student blood. Could be this month, could be next month - I need to be ready and I need the kids to have a fighting chance at defending themselves."

Remus could have been spending the year trying to prove he is working to the same goal. Instead he gives Severus no reason to trust him. He manipulates, blatantly lies, makes Severus play maid with his medicine... he should have been teaching about werewolves early, in case something went wrong. He poses real danger but does nothing to mitigate it and throws away Severus' attempt to fill the hole.

THAT is pretty disrespectful. Severus is doing so much for him and putting far more faith in him than he is earning.

As far as Severus being a good teacher:

He's an ass. His brusque manner doesn't work for everyone and he fails to help sensitive souls, unable to offer anything but 'tough love'. But... I dunno, 3 Griffindors in 6th year seems pretty good...?

Year 6 and 7 are optional. People only pick the classes that might help them get into a career. Others graduate at 5th year. There's <10 kids in every house while Harry was there. <40 kids. Outside Potions 6th year there were a dozen students. 3 Griffindors, 1 Hufflepuff, 4 Slytherins and 4 Ravenclaws.

12 students, out of 40 or less. Over a quarter of the students in Harry's year were choosing to take Potions - thinking Snape was going to continue to be their teacher. To even get into Snapes' N.E.W.T. classes you need an OWL of the highest grade. Which means Snape successfully taught at least 10 students, maybe more, to achieve O's on their OWLs.

Only Harry and Ron didn't have their textbooks for the class - because they got Es and so didn't think they would get in. That means everyone else got Os.

Snape's students learn and they learn to a high standard. His issue is that he has some people fall through deep cracks. But 1/4 of a grade getting O's without any coddling...? When usually 10%, 15% of a class get an A - he has 25%. Maybe more, if they didn't pick to do Potions in N.E.W.T.s, or graduated after their OWLs.

I don't know what to call that other than good teaching. How Snape can be so abrasive and yet drag over 25% of his class into excellence is... it's hard to wrap my around tbh

Hermione specifically does worse without Snape at the blackboard, even though she's a Textbook Tina. His teaching worked for her better than her regular textbook and homework worship.

I haven't seen any examples of him showing favouritism to Slytherin. He might show some favouritsm to Draco, though I don't think in class. Draco is just kinda good at potions? Harry notices him complimenting Draco's work - like maybe he's just good? lol He doesn't actually show house bias as far as I have been able to find. There was certainly no bullying or rivalry in class, he was a no-nonsense teacher who didn't tolerate silly childishness.

So yeah, I struggle to see how Snape is a poor teacher? He is an excellent teacher with a rather deep flaw - he struggles to connect to his students, especially the annoying ones. As a man working three whole jobs though I'm not too surprised. Dumbledore's left hand, Voldemort's right hand, teacher of a core subject... and still drags students into his NEWTs class.

[wildymoon]

Why Hotguy (Probably) Isn't Possessed: A DDVAU Post

.... Or at least why it would be a bit biased to say that is the case right off the bat just cause the blorbo said something you really didn't like.

(NOTE: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DDVAU) (Also the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)

Part 1: Would This Face Lie To You?

Yes. Because everyone has the capacity to lie, and Scar canonically has a silver tongue. Look at 3rd Life and try to tell me otherwise. I will laugh at you.

But the difference is framing. In 3rd Life and nearly everywhere else this silver tongue of Scar's is used, it's in a silly white lie way at best and simply to win a game at worst. Hell, even in other works I've seen it's primarily used to benefit others, not himself.

For this reason (among others that vary from person to person that I won't elaborate on here cause that's complicated), it becomes much easier to believe that Scar here isn't acting normal. He's tapping into his cunning side with much more ruthlessness than we're used to seeing from him normally, and thus we grasp for any other option. Not only that, but the Motherspore Incident gives us the perfect excuse for his behavior, especially with what is said at the end.

Was the target truly Grian, or were they trying to get at Hotguy? We won't know for sure until later, but the idea of him getting possessed is something for the copium to take advantage of, and as such it does so.

(Even for me. I have almost an entire two-monitor screenshot in which I copypasted almost every detailed Hotguy face to analyze and make a decision based on the expressions compared to the latest volume. This I will get into in the part dedicated to his expressions and why they matter for both sides of the argument.)

Either way, assuming someone who is known for using that silver tongue of his to get what he wants isn't doing that of his own free will, even if it feels unkind or out of character at first glance, isn't exactly the smartest thing.

Part 2: The "Pragmatic" Approach Is Not Kind

Aka, "local utilitarian explains the logic behind being a dick in this scenario", or "devil's advocate except the supposed devil is just a blorbo getting into real blackmail".

So, let's first consider Hotguy's primary options for how he could've taken that interrogation, and their effects. I'll list these in order of action taken against Grian for simplicity's sake:

Leave Grian alone entirely. At first, this looks like the best option. Grian needs time to heal, and Hotguy just barging on in like that is stressful at best for someone who'd just been told he got possessed and tried to kill people. But this temporary peace would come with consequences. With no one to tell the public otherwise, Grian would likely get arrested for hiding his status as a mutant from the government. So this one is simply not worth it.

Reason with Grian. This is the option most likely expected from Hotguy before the page rolled around. It gives him a chance to exercise the softer side of his silver tongue a bit more, and is a significantly less aggressive way of trying to get the information he needs to protect the public. The issue with this is that Grian is not cooperative. He does not like Hotguy very much, and definitely would give as little information as he possibly can to what is basically a cop. "Everything you say can and will be used against you," and all that jazz. He's also pretty much immune to Hotguy's charm, so being niceys won't change that. Essentially, no matter what way he goes about it he's going to have to deal in something that Grian actually cares about.

Blackmail Grian. This is the choice Hotguy made, and he didn't sugarcoat it very much either. I'm thinking the reason he did could be related to how he knew simply reasoning with Grian wouldn't work; had he really gone in with the honeyed words, Grian would've told him to cut the bullshit even sooner. This, while more visibly putting Grian in a spot of bother, isn't actually that much more dangerous for him than the other options. I've already explained why the first option actually sucks, and the second option relies on Grian trusting Hotguy (which he doesn't). It also gives Hotguy two things simultaneously: information (his priority), and keeping his friend out of jail (so long as he cooperates, which he has). The second thing may or may not be important to him, but it's still an added bonus. This is the option in which Hotguy is guaranteed to get the most information about the incident.

Turn Grian in immediately. If you hadn't realized there was a worse option than 3 then surprise! There is! This is the option that I believe would actually be out of character for Hotguy. Even if he wanted Grian imprisoned for whatever reason, his priority would still be to get information, nothing else. And there's no guarantee Grian would tell absolutely anything in custody, let alone anything about the incident. It would take potentially blackmailing him here to do it, and that feels like a step too far. Hotguy only needs information, and he knows stigma too well to truly take part in it, especially if it probably won't net him what he needs. So, not that option either.

In all, Hotguy's choice was the only one that could truly get him the yield he wanted: information on the attack in hopes he could prevent any further ones. Do I think he went too far? Yes. Absolutely. He should've stopped with his threats the moment he stopped asking actual questions about the incident. There was no reason (in my opinion) to continue with them.

But for the most part, I believe this isn't a man possessed, just a cop seeking intel. Speaking of.....

Part 3: "Duty"

Sorry guys, superheroes funded by the government are technically cops. This makes Hotguy a cop. Your blorbo is a cop.

In all seriousness, Hotguy does in fact have a job, and as such it is his duty to protect the citizens of the city from the bad and such, blah blah blah. This includes Grian, since he was possessed by the bad and not the bad itself (as such that makes him a victim).

The question, however, remains. "How best does one protect an entire city?" I've answered this already with Hotguy's highest priority in the interaction with Grian: information. To get this information while protecting the most citizens, he must threaten or harm at least one no matter what he does. Because simple threats harm the least, his answer is to threaten two for the sake of maximizing the future harm reduced.

It is, once again, a utilitarian stance on things. But if your goal isn't to be strict to the rules, that's how choices should be made: Not with biases, but with thought given to all options and all those affected.

Now, does his duty state he should be that much of an ass? No, but I already went over this. "He made the best overall choice but he should've been more considerate." It doesn't get much simpler than that.

Part 4: Expression And Tone - The Other Argument

Here we go. This is what originally inspired the making of this post, as an argument for the side that claimed Scar was possessed.

The reason behind it? I'd noticed a significant shift in Hotguy's expressions even without going through each individual page. As someone who cannot read body language for shit usually, this was a pretty significant indicator that something was wrong for me.

Upon further inspection and reflection, this isn't quite the cause for alarm I'd thought it was, but it's still one of the better arguments for Scar being possessed so I'll elaborate.

Before the Motherspore Incident, each of Hotguy's expressions that were close enough to the camera to be drawn properly showed at least one eye through his visor. There is exactly ONE exception to this in my eyes, and even that one can fit in with my claim here: Hotguy's action shot in Chapter 7.

Here, the panel is big enough that if it was any regular panel it would likely show his eyes, but the visor is too small to really draw good eyes for the panel here, not to mention it would probably take away from the composition. But that's not what's important here; that honor goes to the fact that this is the only instance of a bigger panel in which Hotguy's eyes are not shown.

.... Up until Motherspore, that is.

Here, this makes sense: The eye in the first one would get in the way of the text, and in the second one his hair is covering his visor. The third is an action shot, similar to the one in Chapter 7. These make sense.

But then... something shifts once the fight is over and Hotguy carries Grian out. Once he reaches the outside, the amount of times we see his eyes, his expression? TWO.

Both are heavily simplified, with specific intent on making his expression clear on a small panel, but in every other panel from that point on in the chapter show him with the visor covering his expression.

And that's when we get into Chapters 14 and 15. This is when the shift becomes obvious. Instead of all his expressions on large enough panels showing at least one of his eyes, instead we're given almost the exact opposite.

This is the only. I repeat. The ONLY larger panel in which both his eyes are shown (when he has the visor on) since the end of Motherspore.

It's almost the only panel in the entirety of the chapter like that, but there's a singular smaller panel here with both his eyes:

That's it. Everything else has the way his expressions interacting with his visor the exact opposite way from the entire rest of the story so far.

This is why I thought he was, in fact, possessed at first. It was such a dramatic change that, when you don't consider the other reasons why this could be the case, it feels wrong. It feels like he could be possessed.

Especially if you consider this as related to it:

It just feels, if you compile everything together and build that argument, as something that could be plausible.

Plausible, not guaranteed. But plausible nonetheless.

But what could go against this? The tone.

Because, before Motherspore, this whole thing had a much more lighthearted tone. Hotguy had a much more lighthearted tone. Then he has to handle Motherspore. Then, the public, after a fight that made him require backup (true backup, unlike what we see from Cuteguy).

He puts on a mask to the public. That's what happened at the end of Chapter 13.

And then again, when facing Grian. He cannot slip up, cannot let Grian notice who he is or even consider it. He puts on a mask to ensure he can get what he wants safely. That's why we only see his eyes open behind his visor the one time, when Grian cannot look at his face.

He's taking a page from Cuteguy's book, in a way. Not the newest trick in any book, but I figure y'all'd like the connection.

Part 5: In Conclusion

Is Scar possessed? No, probably not. There's always a chance, but it's more likely that everyone got a bit blindsided by the cutthroat way Hotguy handled interrogations.

Remember that characters can make bad or mean decisions! Even if that character is meant to be a good guy, they still can make these choices, mistake or not. Sometimes, it's the best decision they can make. And sometimes, they just went about it in a way they probably shouldn't've.

Either way Hotguy's going to pay in spades by however Cuteguy's going to handle meeting him again, probably.

Bonus: All those copypasted Hotguy faces, for your enjoyment and my going bonkers insane

(There are no notes written down here because I am bonkers on the level that my brain moves too fast to type it all down.)

(ONCE AGAIN, the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)

[ray935sworld]

Vegas reconsilation (Rosquez)

Chapter 1: One more moment

Vale knew he loved Marc. He was crazy about him. Obsessed. He was ready to throw everything away for him. He was willing to give up. Disappear, never to be seen again if it meant he could stay with Marc.

And that was the problem. He couldn't find the limit. He couldn't find the line he wasn't willing to cross for the younger man. No matter what he thought about, he'd do it if it was for Marc.

That was what scared him.

It scared him that he was willing to give his life worths of podiums, wins, championships, decades of racing up for just one man. His man.

He inspired so many people but he'd stop the second he'd asked him to.

It scared him that he would step down in the academy. He wouldn't like it but he would do it.

It scared him that he was willing to move out of his beloved little, cozy hometown that he never truly left.

Not a second thought. If Marc wanted it, he would do it and not regret it. And that was the problem. Despite his love for Marc, he feared that it would end up being tainted. He feared that his love wasn't as pure as he wanted it to be.

He didn't want to wake one day, retired, with Marc, still out there on the best way to win his 9th championship, beating Vale's record, taking away what made him special and unique for decades and only feel hate for the younger man. He feared he would look in his eyes and not be able to feel the love he felt for him.

He feared he would regret their relationship. He feared he'd grow resentful once Vale had to stay behind at their place, watching the races from home, while waiting for his lover to return.

The thought to not find comfort and love in his younger lover had driven Vale insane. It made him chose the extrem. He refused to even see if he'd feel resentment towards Marc if he even made it that far. He didn't dare finding out.

Instead he chose to push him away, make Marc hate him. He preferred the one that got away even if he pushed him away over letting Marc be trapped with someone that would end up hating him for fulfilling his own dream. Marc didn't deserved that. He deserved to be loved, completly, innocent, purely, no hidden fear or hate.

What if one day Vale would hate Marc for winning? And then Marc would be stuck with him. Would they have gotten married by them? For sure. And the last thing Vale wanted was that his perfect man was stuck in an unhappy marriage with a man that resents him.

So he left.

Until now.

Until Vale, retired, woke up with Marc, still riding, on the best way to win the 9th title, in his arms.

It was one of the moment he had always feared. Still. He didn't want to run.

He was just laying there, naked or half naked at least, Marc laying on his chest. His arms were wrapped around his chest. He was still sleeping peacefully.

Has this been what he had been so afraid of? No. No this couldn't be possible. It should be poison. It should hurt and almost kill him. It should make him bitter and angry and everything he felt during the last 10 years. But now all those feelings were gone.

How could poison taste so sweet? Maybe because it wasn't poison. Maybe he had just convinced himself it was poison when in reality it was sweet nectar.

Vale stared at him for a few seconds, torn between his options. He knew he should start yelling, to keep the facade up. But he didn't manage to raise his voice. He just couldn't disturb and scare him like that. It'd be a crime.

He could leave quietly. Get out of bed and disappear before Marc had enough brain capacity to understand what was going on or before he registered him. He'd leave him there like a dirty secret, like a moment that never happend. He didn't deserve that either.

The only other alternative was to stay. He knew he couldn't chose that either but sp he didn't. It was the only option that didn't seem cruel but he couldn't stay. He told himself he would go any second. Somehow. But he didn't. He looked at Marc and he knew he couldn't leave.

"Just one more minute of living in the past. One more moment in my dream" he told himself every time the minute passed and a moment was over. But he didn't let go. He couldn't. Not yet.

He hold him close, breathing in his scent. He listened to his heartbeat, figured out how he was breathing. It all felt so familiar.

He had denied it himself for years, almost a decade and now he was treasuring every second. He was addicted to it. He refused to it give up. He refused to give him up. Even if it was just this one moment of illusion that swallowed him whole.

He was just laying there, wondering how he could ever think some cheap emotions would destroy that. He smiled but didn't dare to lean down to give him a kiss to the forehead like he used to.

He knew it'd wake him. Nonetheless he knew it was inevitable. And as if Marc had sensed it, he felt him stir. He was moving a little bit, just his head. He heard him sigh like he always did shortly before he woke up.

He watched Marc open his eyes. Just one. Then he blinked, his eyes not fully opened, almost immediately falling shut again. Vale smiled. Some things never change.

Then he watched how the realization seemed to wash over Marc. His eyes went wide, shock taking the color out his face.

"Vale-!" he gasped flinching backwards. He knew he should take this as his clue. That this was the moment to return to reality. No more play pretend. But he didn't.

"Please" he whispered, still holding onto him. He knew his voice conveyed the begging but right now he couldn't care less.

"Just... Pretend I wasn't an idiot. For one more moment. I can't... I'm not sober enough to lie. I can't act right now. Not after this" he asked. He knew he had no right to ask this of him but he was a selfish man.

"After what?" he sounded genuinely confused. "I can't remember what happened yesterday" "Yeah... Me neither. Just... It was my birthday which means..." He swallowed at the realization. This had to be a joke. How could all this really be a coincidence?

"It's your birthday now..." Marc looked at Vale, an unsure look in his eyes. He looked like he wasn't sure if he should run or stay. Vale spoke softly, hoping to influence the decision in the slightest. "Happy birthday Marc" "Thank you... Vale..."

It was just a short moment, both speaking with uncertainty in their voice as if both thought the other would leave the moment they spoke up.

It felt weirdly domestic. Awkward but domestic. None of them seemed to fight the moment or try to flee. They just sat there, accepting it.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Marc asked ultimately. There was a heavy sign in his voice as if he had gotten tired of playing domestic. Vale looked up, not understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you ask me to stay?" Marc started. "Why did you stay?" Vale shot back. It seemed like a fair question, considering, Marc was sitting opposite of him, their hands intervene.

"I asked first." Vale knew he wouldn't get an answer so he just decided to tell the truth. "Because I wanted you to stay. Still do. So why did you stay?" "Because you wanted me to stay."

Boom. There it was.

Vale stared at him in disbelief. Sure he had pictured Marc saying this - actually anything that even gave the slightest hint that Marc didn't hate him. But actually hearing this was totally different.

"What do you mean?" he asked, because really, he couldn't stop there. If he had a chance to the truth, he'd grip it with both hands.

"I - No. You're not gonna embarrass me with whatever show you scripted or game you're playing. You are-" he said as he sat up. He wanted to give in and believe. But he couldn't. Not when he had to fear this was all a joke.

He had turned around, looking for his clothes only to look back at him, seeing rawr emotions on has face. There was hurt. Surprise. Shock. Regret. But no underline tension like there always was. It confused Marc, threw him of. It didn't make sense. It didnt fit in the picture he drew himself of the older man that had helped carrying him threw years of hate and pain and heart break.

"Okay, then I'm going to embarrass me first." Vale said. His voice soft like 11 years ago when they had planned to spend their birthday together. Not ended up spending their birthdays together because of a drunk hook up.

Marc knew Vale couldn't fake that tone. He could fake anger and hate and everything else. But not love.

"Everything I told you after mid 2015 was a lie because I fear I would resent you if you were better than me. Because you are. As a rider and as a man. I pushed you away to not end up hating the man I love more than anything in the world. I'm sorry. I'm an asshole and I don't deserve your forgiveness but you deserve an explanation"

"Do you love me?" He took it as a challenge, see if he could find a line.

"I do" "How much" "More than anything" "Okay. Prove it. Call whoever it is that is managing your racing team and tell them your out. With immediate effect. I don't care if you continue paying but no more PR Event or your name on them"

Gotcha, Marc thought.

He saw the surprised look and the hesitation. Vale turned around and Marc felt the sadness take over his smug grin. So he was right. Vale would leave and then he hadn't meant it. Vale had lied. Once again.

"Yeah? Hey, listen-" Vale suddenly said and Marc realized he was so deep in hss thoughts that he hadn't seen Vale reach for his phone on the night stand. He hadn't left. "Shift in priorities. I want you to cross my name-"

Before Vale could finish his sentence, Marc had snitched the phone out of his hand. "He calls back" he said before hanging up.

He hold the phone in one hand, while staring at Vale. "What the fuck was that?!" he asked almost angrily.

"I was about to draw out the team. Why did you-" "No! You can't do that! It's your team! You love that team!" "I do. But you asked me to" "What and just cause I asked you, you do it?!" "Like I said... I love you more than anything."

It was messing with Marc's head. He let out a frustarted groan, not understand what was happening and why.

Yesterday everything had make sense. Vale was his ex. Vale hated him. Vale wanted to burn him from existence, send him to the moon or burry him alive. Whatever was possible first. But now Vale was kind and sweet. He said he loved him. He was willing to give everything up for him.

"No. You can't just -You hate me. Okay? I get that. You hate me. We are through. I hate it but it's okay. It makes sense" Marc said. "So you can't just - give up something you love that mich - a team that has your name. Your color. Even your boys. You live those boys. You - It was Marini first team and Bezzecchis. You can't just - You can't just give that up. Especially not for me. You hate me."

"I never hated you. I just - I was an asshole but I never hated you." He watched Marc shake his head in disbelief. He couldn't blame him. "We can't just wake up here, 10 years later and you are telling me everything I begged you to say 10 years ago"

Vale nodded. He truly felt bad for the younger man. He knew he had caused him pain but he never realized how deep it actually run.

"I should have said something sooner" The Spaniard almost snorted. "Yeah either sooner or nothing at all. Why the fuck are you even telling me all that now?" "I don't know. I'm still drunk, I guess."

"Right. Either you're too honest or angry when getting drunk. I forgot." There was a bitter tone in his voice. It made Vale shiver.

"I'm sorry" he promised remembering all the times he had yelled at Marc when he had too much. "Fuck you. I - I really want to believe all that. Really I do. Even if it's just for my 22 year old self. But I can't. I mean - You've been talking shit about me - and my family - for years. So you're sincerity is not excatly convincing."

Vale nodded. Yes. He was right. But then he said something that made his skin crawl.

"Especially when you're wearing a fucking wedding ring. Or do you want me as your fucking mistress?" he scoffed.

Vale's eyes went wide. "I'm not" he replied as he checked his left hand. A ring placed on his finger. He looked back at Marc, who just scoffed. "Seems like you're still too drunk to-" "You're wearing the same one" "No I-" Marc wanted to argue back but one look proved him otherwise. There was a small ring on his hand, looking almost like an intruder.

Then they both realized that they had decided to spent their birthday in Vegas.

[swagyalastorwife]

Yandere!Adam ,Yandere!Mammon x reader

Author notes :hiiiiii guyssss (^-^)/❤️so I made this headcanons after a request I hope you like it sorry for the spelling mistakes 😅

And huys requests are open

⚠️warning ⚠️:sexual allusion, violent vocabulary, kidnapping

Mammon💰

◇ My god, drawing attention of the sin of greed is certainly not the best thing that could have happened to you.

◇He saw you in the public for the first time, your friend forced you to accompany him in one of his clown shows.

◇And when he laid eyes on you, he knew you were the one for him, he wanted you. So he decided to go talk to you after the show I mean who wouldn't want the big, handsome and strong mammon to be interested in them:

" heyyy hello, would you like to come for a ride with me if you see what I mean ;-)"

" yuck no thanks it’ll be fine "

◇ Then you left leaving him alone

◇This only strengthened his love for you he will stalk you on your social media, in the street, whatever he can do to get you he will do it.

◇I sincerely think he will go so far as to kidnap you.

◇He will lock you in this room he will force you to love him, to touch him, to kiss him, he wants you and he will do everything to make you his and his alone!

◇Now let's imagine that you love him too, he will be so happy,

◇He will expose you everywhere to show everyone how sexy his partner is he will touch you and kiss you in public to show the world who the fuck you belong to.

◇He will be a very jealous and possessive partner/kidnapper he will be ready to destroy anyone who dares to look at you too long, touch you or compliment you. My god you are his, and no one has the right to try to steal you from him!

◇Every curve of your body is his, he loves to touch you and caress you in the evening in your shared bed,

◇ He sticks to you then caresses you in a very gentle way, to give you shivers, he loves the way your back arches under his touch, I'll let you guess what happens next

Adam😇

♡This guy you want and will have you no matter what

♡He will stalk you and harass you

♡ He will probably wait outside your house on purpose to pretend to meet you and will follow you all the way and will tell you about these exploits as the first man on earth, about the original cock

♡ he will definitely send you a lot of messages like:

"Hey baby i miss you ~"

" BITCH ANSWER ME!"

" haa~ sorry baby I didn't mean to get angry, you know with you getting stressed, it's really only you who can relax me~ "

♡You understood what i am talking about

♡And if you don't give in to these advances he will find himself forced to kill the people who steal you from him, he will be ready to kill your family, friends and everything else so that you find yourself alone and run into his arms

♡If you don't give in he will force you to love him, he will steal you from the world and keep you safe in his home he wants you and he will fucking have you. he will tie you to his bed, and pretend that you are there of your own free will, he will give you gifts and kiss you.... if you agree to be with him from the beginning he will be in heaven, he will be so happy, he will spoil you he will do everything to make you happy, because his greatest fear is that you will leave him just like these other wife .

♡He is a very jealous and possessive man who wants you and he will always desire you.

♡Like mammon he showed you to all of paradise, he is proud to have you as a partner and he wants everyone to know who you belong to

♤I hope you are ready for this cause, In summary Mammon and Adam his 2 similar yandere ready to do anything to keep the love of their life close to them

I hope you like it(^-^)/❤️

requests are open so Don't hesitate to send me your ideas ❤️❤️❤️

[6rookie-writer0110]

A new night with you

Hope Mikaelson x Male Reader

Request - Hello, how are you doing, could you make a male reader x Hope Mikelson? The reader is Hope's best friend, they are both in love with each other, sometimes they tried to say what they feel but it always happens that someone or something interrupts them. One day the gang decides to help both of them confess their feelings by setting them up on a date but everything turns out to be a failure, Lizzie fed up.

Lizzie is staring at you and Hope talking to each other. You and Hope are outside while Lizzie is on the balcony, but you two don't notice her. Her sister Josie walked up to her

“What are you staring at?” Josie asked

“Two clueless people in love with each other,” Lizzie said

“Oh. I don't think they will ever figure it out. But the way you are looking at them, looks like you have an idea” Josie said

“What makes you think that?” Lizzie asked

“Because I know you, obviously. How did you know that he is in love with Hope,” Josie said

“Remember, when I went on a mission with him when dad put us in pairs?” Lizzie said

“Yeah, I remember and I got paired with MG,” Josie said

“Well, a witch tricked us into thinking we were drinking a health potion but it was a truth potion. She was just messing with us and I was badly injured. I asked who he had a crush on and I thought it was you but he said he is in love with Hope but scared to tell her. The potion only lasted for a little bit” Lizzie said

“Oh, that's how you knew when you told me. They do make a cute couple but they are so clueless” Josie said

“That’s why we are going to help them but without telling them” Lizzie smirked

Lizzie and Josie walk away and Josie listens to her sister’s plan.

“Hope, I want to tell you something,” You said

“What is it?” Hope asked

“I wanted to say this for a long time. But I-I… Well, I like-”

You are in love your friend but you struggle to tell her. When its time to confess your feelings, you start to stutter and your heart race fast as if it will jump out of your chest. You have been in love with her for a long time now.

Before you or Hope can say anything, MG and Caleb ran towards you.

“The school is under attack,” MG said

“By who?” You asked

“Gargoyles are attacking the school and its more than one. We already got the other students to safety” Caleb said

“Keep doing that to make sure no one is left alone, while Y/N and the others help me fight them,” Hope said

“On it,” Caleb said

“Lizzie and Josie are fighting them but we have to hurry, follow me,” MG said

You and the others arrived just in time. Josie was about to be attacked then you saved her, by using your body as a shield then Hope used her magic to distract the gargoyle while you ran away with Josie.

“Thanks for saving me,” Josie said

“Are you okay?” You asked

“Yeah, I’m fine. You okay? The punch was pretty hard that you almost lost your balance” Josie said

“I’m fine,” You said

You and the others did fight the gargoyles, Hope and Josie used their magic to destroy them.

——-

You are in your room and Lizzie just walked in.

“I had no idea people can knock on the door without making a sound” You gasped

“Oh that was so funny, my stomach hurts. We need to talk now” Lizzie said

“About what?” You asked

“You confessing your love to Hope,” Lizzie said

“I can do it on my own,” You said

“You told me the truth about three weeks ago, and you haven't asked her on a date. Why are you taking so long?” Lizzie said

“Something always comes up. Like today the school was attacked and I was so close to telling her. Remember two weeks ago, you and Josie got killed by a siren” You said

“Okay, I get it. But I’m still going to help you. We all see how you and Hope look at each other. And I have a plan” Lizzie smiled

You said no, but didn't leave but she talked about different ideas how you and Hope can officially become a couple. Then she talked about first-date ideas, now she is just rambling.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✬

Hope was training on her own, then she saw you talking to Lizzie. Hope just stares at you and she gets butterflies in her stomach. She starts to wonder if you have feelings for her, but she has tried to tell you but the moment would get ruined.

“He does look cute in the shirt,” Josie said

Hope jumped because Josie just appeared out of nowhere.

“Don’t scare me like that, Josie” Hope said

“I was looking for you. I see the way you stare at him” Josie said

“I don't know what you are talking about,” Hope said

“Sure. all of us, are going to the movies tonight and you should come,” Josie said

“Who is us?” Hope asked

“Me, MG, Lizzie, Y/N and Caleb. Are you coming tonight?” Josie said

“Sure, I will go,” Hope said

“Good to know and I will tell the others,” Josie said

Josie and Hope walk togther back to their dorm rooms. They start to talk about the movies they want to see.

You are waiting at the movie theater for the others. You did send them a text but Hope arrived and you stared at her, then your heart started to race fast.

“Wow, you look beautiful,” You said

She blushed, she didn't expect you to say that.

“Thanks. I like your outfit. Where are the others?” Hope said

“I just sent them a text but no reply just yet. I thought you were coming with Lizzie and Josie” You said

“No. They told me to go because they weren't ready” Hope said

You and Hope stand next to each other and just wait. But they sent a text saying they couldn't make it, now you are alone with your crush.

“Do you want to see the movie or head back?” You said

“We are here so.:. We might as well watch a movie” Hope smiled

“Yeah,” You smiled

You and Hope go inside and you buy the tickets. While waiting on line to buy snacks, you and Hope turned to each other.

“Y/N, I want to say something that I been trying to tell you,” Hope said

“I want to tell you something too, but you go first,” You said

Hope was going to say it but the moment got ruined, the town was being attacked by an evil unicorn. You and Hope can hear people screaming outside, then you two went to see what is going on.

“No way, that's a unicorn,” You said in shock

“I can't believe it, but we can't pet it” Hope said

More people started to scream and run away. The Unicorn almost killed someone but Hope used her magic and then you helped the strange to get away from the unicorn.

Later, you and Hope went back to the school. You told Lizzie what happened and she is mad the moment got ruined.

———

You and Hope are training alone by the lake.

“You are too gentle, Y/N,” Hope said

“I don't want to hurt you,” You said

“I’m not made of glass,” Hope said

Hope started to punch faster then you started to block her punches. Now you start to throw punches but she is dodging your attacks. She grabbed your punch then she smirked at you

“Who is slow now?” Hope smirked

She lets go of your hand, then she tries to kick you but you grab her foot. Not too hard but you kick her other leg, and she falls down.

“Are you okay?” You asked

Hope is lying on the ground then you grabbed her hand to pull her up. But she pulls you then her foot is on your chest then you flip you onto the ground. You going to punch but she turned around grabbed your hand now her body was semi on top of you. You and Hope are staring at each other, you two are breathing hard. She gets lost in your eyes then she feels your lips on hers, then she starts to kiss you back. She pinned your hand onto the ground and she continued to kiss you.

“I wanted to kiss you for so long, Hope Mikaelson,” You said

“You can kiss me again. I always liked you as more than a friend” Hope said

“Be my girlfriend?” You asked

She starts to kiss you again and she hasn't let go of your hand.

“Now, you are my boyfriend,” Hope said

You and Hope are smiling at each other.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✬

You and Hope are on a serect date night. You surprised her with a picnic in the woods, you two are lying down on the blanket. You and Hope wanted to see the red moon because of the lunar eclipse. After seeing the red moon, she turns to you and she put her hand on your face and she starts to kiss you. You put your hand on her lower back and her lipstick gets on your lips.

The next day…

You went to get Hope in her room to walk her to class. Before leaving, she started to kiss you and you pulled her closer to you, now you and Hope are smiling at each other.

“Lipgloss got on your lips,” Hope said

She use her thumb to wipe it off your lips.

“I don’t care. I just like kissing you” You smiled

You start to kiss her again

“I like kissing you too, Y/N” Hope smiled

Lizzie and Josie walked in and they gasped, they just saw you and Hope kissing each other.

“Finally!” Lizzie yelled with joy

You and Hope moved away from each other.

“You two can't deny it now. Plus, Y/N you have her lipgloss on your lips” Josie teased

“We won't deny it. And yes, he is my boyfriend” Hope smiled

She grabs your hand and you can't stop smiling. Lizzie hugged you and Hope very tight and Josie started to laugh.

[kittendreaw]

Has Anyone Else Died For You? | Megumi Fushiguro

01: Glory and Gore

Words: 3.8 k

Mainlist

We gladiate, but I guess we're really fighting ourselves

Roughing up our minds, so we're ready when the kill time comes

Wide awake in bed, words in my brain

"Secretly you love this, do you even wanna go free?"

One day he calls you a whore and then he's in your room...For a school project!

First Day of your sophomore year of college, you probably would have been excited if it wasn't for all the drama at the end of the previous year still had your friends angry, they still refused to talk to you and even though you understood their annoyance you also knew that it had all been a big stupidity Because everything they said was a lie and you still didn't understand where that rumor had come from.

You walked into the classroom, giving your friends, or rather ex-friends, a look and sweet smile, but they just rolled their eyes in annoyance. Okay, you weren't forgiven yet.

And they were still bitches.

You couldn't deny that you felt completely out of place, that place that had belonged to you for so long was no longer there and although probably in a few more days they would forgive you and everything would go back to how it always was, for the moment you had to move on with your life.

The only free place was the one next to Megumi Fushiguro.

You knew him but no more than the others, you knew his name, you knew that a rich man had adopted him and you knew some of the things they said about him but You've never talked to him before. You didn't want gossip created by other people to influence your opinion of him, so you were willing to have the best attitude and make a new friend.

In any case, it is not that you had any other option, you did not know when they were going to forgive you and you did not like others enough to make you want to integrate into them So the lonely outcast would be the best option.

It's not that the rest had gone out of their way to exclude megumi, he had just walked away and being too asocial and mysterious will give the others reasons to talk. If you don't give them anything, they'll make it up.

You sat in the free chair next to him, looked at him with your kind gaze and sweet bright smile. "Hello, Yn Yl." and there was no response. He just stood there with his back leaning against the back of his chair, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes on the board. It seemed like anything playing on his earbuds and that soft board were more interesting than talking to you. "I didn't see another empty place, so I thought I'd sit here." You tried again to start a conversation. He looked you up and down with the deepest blue eyes you've ever seen.

"Dressing like a whore is allowed in the dress code?" your smile wavered a little and although you were sure he wasn't the first person to call you a whore, he was the first one to do it so directly in your face. You blinked a couple of times, thought that maybe you had misheard or that you had confused his words.

"Excuse me?" he stood with the same serious cold face without any expression. He looked you up and down again, Pointing out his point as if it were obvious, and then his eyes returned to yours.

"You heard me." He went back to the same position as before with the clear intention of ignoring you and although you could ignore him too, you weren't going to do it with the way he was talking to you.

"Are you always this rude or is it just a bad day?" He rolled his eyes when you spoke again and turned his face to look at you.

"I wasn't rude, it was just a question."

"Well, I think you are quite rude."

"I don't like lying bitches, that's all."

"What are you talking about?"

"Believe me that your act of good girl and prudish slut doesn't fool me, Yn, I can see through your lies."

"it takes one to know one."

"Think whatever you want." Megumi had never bothered to hide who he was, he was a cruel bastard and always would be like that.

"Same for you."

The rest of the class both remained silent, it was clear the dislike that Megumi felt for you and you had no plans to continue insisting, if he thought you dressed like a whore and that you were a liar That didn't matter to you.

Because only you knew what you really were.

When the class was over you took your bag and walked out of the classroom, you saw Megumi's friends at the door, it was surprising that there were people who really put up with his shitty character, Especially since they seemed to be much nicer than him.

"Hey, so are you Yn's friend now?" you recognized Yuji's cheerful voice as you walked down the hall, you had a very good ear for other people's conversations. Gossip girl? Probably. You couldn't help it, you liked to stay informed.

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about."

"You were sitting with her."

"She was sitting with me, it's very different." He put an end to that topic and the pink-haired boy had no choice but to change the conversation.

In the break you would normally go to your usual place in the cafeteria with your friends but it was not something you could do now, you went to the edge of the forest which is next to the campus courtyard, it was a quiet place and far enough away so that you did not have to worry about someone seeing you eating alone.

It's not that you care what others say about you, right? By this point you must have been more than used to all the gossip behind your back. You just didn't want to show any kind of weakness, you were still the same person, whether they loved you or not.

You sat against the trunk of a large tree and ate your lunch concentrating on the playlist what you had chosen and how peaceful the landscape was in front of you.

You noticed how two silhouettes were also approaching the forest, you tried to focus your eyes, you couldn't help it.

You recognized one of them, it was Megumi and next to hin a girl you didn't know but it didn't matter, you didn't have to be too smart to know what they were going to do. You understood that he was attractive, you weren't going to deny it but you didn't understand how anyone could stand him.

You didn't take your eyes off megumi, and he noticed it, looked at you, and you could swear that his gaze on you felt like a silent threat.

You just raised an eyebrow at what could be a "What?" and looked away, You weren't going to get in trouble.

You entered the classroom before the end of recess, there wasn't much to do outside, you didn't like to be alone, not anymore, you had become so used to being surrounded by people that this was almost like a new feeling.

At the moment the only person you had left was Choso, whom you had put aside for a long time because he didn't "fit" your status, he had always been there for you, you didn't really deserve that guy.

If he stayed in school everything would be easier, you would have someone to be with, talk to and to sit with, but he had to leave school and dedicate his time to work. He was the one who took care of his family, it really made you a little sad that someone so good had so many responsibilities.

The week went by quickly, you didn't talk to megumi again, well, except for the Wednesday when you asked him to borrow a pencil and he told you: "what kind of idiot doesn't bring a pencil to school" and of course he didn't lend you a shit.

It was already Friday and it probably could have meant the beginning of a wonderful weekend in which you would do absolutely nothing if it weren't for the fact that the teacher decided to leave an assignment in pairs, Megumi and you were together and of course he was the only one who asked if he could do it alone, but the teacher left him no choice.

"Hmm." you tried to start. "What day is okay for you?" you asked in a slightly shy tone that only made him feel more disgusted: he hated that little tone in your voice. You were just trying to be nice, even if he'd been rude to you you weren't going to get on his level, you'd be better.

"Tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. On your place." He wasn't asking you, he was giving you instructions. You probably wouldn't have argued with him if it weren't for the fact that you had plans that day and definitely didn't want him near your house. It's not that you were ashamed of what you had, you knew that your parents had worked very hard and you thanked them but there was nothing you would like to show off.

"I can't." Anything you said just made him angrier and angrier.

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I have plans," and he let out a scoff.

"And your plans are more important than this year's first project?"

"I'm not saying they are." Well, maybe for you a little, it had been a long time since you had last seen Choso, you wanted to hang out with him, vent and talk shit about your ex best friends. "But I think it's a little rude to cancel." And you didn't want to, but you couldn't say that. "But we could do it today after school or even on Sunday."

"I can't"

"What do you mean you can't? You replied to his question in a mocking tone, you were just trying to joke around and be friendly, maybe you still held out a bit of hope that he had just had a bad week and his attitude changed, not that you cared about him but you were stuck with him all that semester and you couldn't stand being silent for so long anymore. You regretted your joke a bit when you noticed that his expression hardened and his eyes darkened, he didn't think you were laughing with him, but at him.

"It's none of your business, we'll do it tomorrow." Perhaps Choso's visit would have to wait only because Megumi decided to be adamant.

"And it has to be in my house?"

"Well, I'm not going to invite you to mine" you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes you have to keep the sweet Attitude, you didn't know how someone could be like that, it was annoyed and disgusting.

"My parents don't agree that a gu-"

"I can bet I won't be the first man in your dorm room so stop the act of prudish, Yn." You didn't understand why he seemed to hate you so much.

"Yes, sure." you muttered. Maybe your stomach churned at his comment, maybe that feeling stayed all day, maybe that moment was repeated over and over again in your head, you didn't understand why it affected you so much, you knew he wasn't the first person to call you a whore but maybe the fact that he wasn't a hypocrite and said it to your face which made your stomach churn.

You could already anticipate that Saturday wouldn't be better, for the first time you weren't so excited that the weekend is coming.

The day was good, summer was coming to the end and you could already feel it, it was rainy and you wouldn't have to leave the house. You and Choso were in your bed, Twilight was playing on the TV as white noise, he had arrived first thing in the morning, not that you were complaining he made for you the most delicious pancakes for breakfast.

"You know, maybe I could ask Yuji to spend lunch with you."

"No need Cho, I'm a big girl, I'll be fine on my own."

"Yes but-"

"I swear." You put your hand on his thigh causing the tapping of his foot on the ground to stop. "Besides, a little  of lonliness doesn't hurt."

You didn't like that he did that, you didn't like that he believed that you needed friends, you weren't so alone and this was definitely not affecting you so much, you let them talk and you went on with your life, you were better than all of them or at least that's what you repeated to yourself every day as if it were a mantra.

"You always have time alone."

"And a little more isn't going to kill me, I swear."

Choso cares about you the same way he cares about his brothers even when you let him stand by for so long he was still there with you.

You both may seem completely different but you fit together like the pieces of a puzzle.

"So... Don't you want me to stay? I'll be quiet, I'm not going to bother you."

You shook your head. "You can go home, Cho." You noticed the fact that Choso didn't like you being alone with Megumi ever since you told him that he was your partner but he had managed to keep his displeasure contained up to this point.

"I don't know, Fushiguro has never seemed trustworthy to me."

"And why?" You tried to look surprised because you couldn't be less, of course you understood why Megumi didn't seem to be trustworthy.

"It's just that I don't think he's a good person, I don't like Yuji spending so much time with him, something tells me that he's not a good influence and I don't like the idea of leaving you alone with him." Choso had a very good instinct, with almost no margin for failure, perhaps he has developed it after years being so overprotective and although he controlled himself a little more with you he did not leave that Overprotection aside 100%.

"Remember that you can't judge a book by its cover."

"I know, I really know. Will your parents be late?" he ask hoping that you won't be alone with him for so long.

"Probably until after dark."

"I can stay." He seemed to keep hoping a bit that you would tell him to stay, but you didn't want to make things even more uncomfortable than you were already sure they would be.

You doubted Megumi would behave decently just because he was at your house.

"I'll be fine, I'm completely sure of that, and if something happens I'll call you, pinky promise." Choso left your house after you repeated at least 5 times that you would call him if something happened or if you didn't feel safe with Megumi.

Megumi was more punctual than you would have expected, at 3:00 he was already desperately knocking on your door and at 3:01 you had to see his ugly face again when you opened the door.

"Do you really live here?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, you felt your expression tighten, not that you lived in a pigsty but of course your home was small in front of someone who was lined with money like Megumi.

"Yes, come in." You weren't going to argue with him about this.

"How funny, I would have always thought you were a rich girl." He walked into your house while observing his surroundings in.

"There are few rich people in this town" He just muttered a little "I guess so" as he followed you to your bedroom, he couldn't help but a grimace would form on his face as soon as he walked in.

"Aren't you already a little old for this?" Too pink, too many ribbons and lace, too many stuffed animals and old dolls, it might as well be a room of a horror movie about a possessed girl.

"What's your problem?" You couldn't help but get defensive, with the attitude Megumi had had before, of course you doubted that he wasn't trying to annoy you.

"Relax, Angel." That little nickname felt completely poisonous coming out of his lips. "It was just a simple question." He slumped into your vintage vanity chair. It was funny how little megumi fit in your bedroom, sitting there surrounded by all those light colors, pearls and hearts while dressing in black leather, crosses, chains and military boots. Just as he did with the living room, he began to look around your room.

"Are you done snooping, Fushiguro?"

"No, not really." You snorted and sat down on your bed.

"What are all those boxes?" He seemed genuine but that made you suspicious because until now he had not seemed to want to talk to you, again you chose to think that maybe you had misunderstood everything or that he was just a little grumpy.

"I usually keep some memories or they are simply things that I don't know where to put anymore." There was a sweet smile on your lips, if he was willing to be kinder then you were more than happy to talk to him.

"Memories." he repeated as his eyes traveled once again through the boxes above your closet. "Any of Sasha's by chance?" you gritted your teeth slightly, you didn't want to think it was a Seizure, you two were best friends he had reason to ask about her.

"Yes." Though your smile became slightly awkward, there it was, sweet and kind. "A lot actually." There was a hint of affection and homesickness in your voice, those were great times even if you didn't recognize it in that moment.

"And you didn't keep any of the letters?" You took a deep breath. "Or did you also discard them?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." was an automatic response, memorized a long time ago but it felt weird coming out of your mouth after so many years. Of course you knew what he was talking about and Megumi was not easy to fool.

"Oh you definitely know what I'm talking about, everyone knows it." Although vague rumors spread when it all happened, you were at the moment where everyone blindly believed in you so everyone's attention was only focused on comforting you.

"People talk a lot and that doesn't mean they're right."

"I know as well as I also know that there is something hidden beneath all that sweetness."

"You don't know shit Megumi."

"Then tell me what happened, tell me your truth, I'm waiting for you."

"Stop this bullshit, you don't know anything about me and you'll never know. What happened wasn't your fucking problem so you're not going to get any explanation because I don't owe anything." He got up from his chair and walked towards you, you felt tense as much as you hadn't been in years, keeping calm was hard in front of him.

"Why are you so angry?" he was taunting you to your face. "It was a simple question."

"You ask a lot of shit."

He shrugged. "I'm curious."

"It. was. A. Provocation." you accused him.

"I think you're just paranoid, but hey I guess there's nothing you need to worry about if what you say is true."

You felt stupid, you knew he was right, if you weren't to blame you didn't have to be angry about his questions but you couldn't help it, megumi knew how push.

"We should start now or it will be late." Seeing how calm He was only made you feel worse, maybe it was just a simple question, maybe you were hysterical for no reason.

You didn't talk more than you needed to, and Megumi didn't bring up the subject again, but you didn't stop feeling tense. You hated the way he looked at you, you hated the little smile on his lips.

"I'll do the conclusion but have to do the cover and that shit." On the way to the front door while you shuffled along with your feet, all you wanted was for him to leave and be alone for a while. "Have a nice Night, Angel" And he left.

You went back to your room and dropped down on your bed, burying your face in your pillow and covering yourself with your sheets, you want to drown down there.

You didn't get out of bed again that Saturday and Sunday wasn't much different.

Monday came and of course you didn't remember the part you had to do to finish the project.

You felt tired, you had just gotten out of bed and you wanted to come back.

"Where is it?"

"Where's what?" You looked at megumi as he sat next to you.

"Your part of the project, the part I asked you to do." You didn't do anything and you didn't have any excuses, he didn't give you time to invent something because he noticed your expression. "Did you forget?"

"I-"

"What do you have in that little head of yours?"

"I-"

"I asked you for only one thing and yet you forgot, I left you the easiest thing and yet you are so useless that you didn't do it."

"I-"

"You forgot it all like the retarded bitch you are and-"

"Are you going to let me speak or not!?" you raised your voice, not too much but enough for him to shut his mouth and it was his turn to listen to you.

"I'll talk to the professor, he'll understand." You didn't let him answer, you just got up from your chair and went to the teacher's desk, you didn't care if you had been rude or not, he had been rude first. Megumi was making you lose your patience.

You invented an excuse that was not too elaborate but credible enough as you imagined it, the teacher gave you the opportunity to swallow it the next day. It wasn't such an important project and you were a good student, the teachers knew you so of course they were a little more lenient with you than with everyone else from time to time.

You returned to your seat with a big smile on your lips. "We can bring it tomorrow."

"Yes? And what did he ask of you in return? A blowjob?"

"Nothing," you said through gritted teeth.

"Right, you would do it for free." You didn't answer anything, you weren't going to fall for another of his provocations.

All the hope you ever had about being her friend was dead, you hated Megumi and you were sure of that.

Notes area

>Sorry for the mistakes, English it's not my first lenguaje.

>Feedback, comments and Suggestions are welcome.

>Thanks for reading.

Taglist (open) :

@iluv-ace @fishrene

[teyrnacousland]

I've seen the headcanon that Lucanis' mother, Caterina's perfect heir, was actually similar to Illario in some ways. That she was calculating, ruthless, ambitious, obedient... all the things Caterina overlooks in Illario because Caterina sees her favourite daughter's deep brown eyes and quiet, controlled demeanor and careful planning in Lucanis.

But I am also attached to the idea that the opposite is true too. That Illario's mother shared similarities with Lucanis; that she was empathetic and stubborn, with a slight rebellious streak. But she was always outgoing and charming, was more impulsive with her emotions, and was always sharper with her tongue than with a sword, so Caterina only sees her in Illario.

I just love the idea that Caterina can't look beyond the surface and see who her grandsons really are because on some level she can't see past the ghosts reflected in their eyes. She can't see that the quiet brown eyed boy is is more of the gentle hearted rebel, and the one with blue eyes and a shining, fake smile is the ruthless leader who would do anything she asked.

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha

*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao

[mutiny-huyutiny]

сборник всякой всячины по чуме+песьему двору

cw guro under the cut c метелиным и твириным. Again.

[tenok]

.

[mossterunderthebed]

Y'know what honestly frustrates me about the JJK fandom?

When people make stuff that's like JJK 0 Gojo and Getou talking or whatever, and it's like Getou being totally deadpan about all the horrible things he's doing/going to do/believes in *insert various types of wholesale murder here* and Gojo just laughs along, treating it like it's a joke and Getou's so cute and funny.

Like, no.

Gojo did NOT indulge Getou's philosophy. That was The Whole Point.

What do you think the whole encounter on the street in front of a random KFC was about? That's why there was such a deep divide between them. That's why Gojo was furious and disbelieving. That's why they didn't see or talk to each other for TEN YEARS even thought they were best friends.

Because Getou killed people, chose to kill people, and chose to keep killing people. Because he dehumanized an entire, MASSIVE group of people who were good, bad, kind, cruel, and everything in between, men, women, children, everyone, simply because of something they couldn't help and didn't even know about. Because he took advantage of those that Gojo had decided and felt duty-bound- even though he didn't like it much- to protect.

(And all that came BEFORE Geotu ever stepped into the picture. Yeah, Gojo whines about having to protect the weak and admittedly thinks it's a drag, but he still does it. He was raised with the ideal that he should do it.

That wasn't a Getou thing. Getou believing in that as a teenager did change the way Gojo saw it, but it wasn't New. He already was raised that way, believed that way, and intended to live that way, or why go to Jujutsu High at all? Even if he found it annoying, he was still always going to become a sorcerer, not only because it was kind of his only option- which is it's own kind of horrible- but because he was a sorcerer, down to his bones.

He had that madness in him, and maybe it was nurtured, but that doesn't change the fact that it was there. He wanted to be a sorcerer, loved fighting and killing curses, whether it had anything to do with helping others or not.)

I know it's just fanart and fandom, and look, I myself really like art of Gojo and Getou in their good days. They were kids and they were happy. While I don't ship them, they were best friends, and their own kind of soulmates, I've never not believed that, it's too forking obvious. Gege practically shoves it down our throats and literally designed them to balance each other and be Messed Up Forever when they split. Every official art we see of the two of them practically has them as each other's reflections. I know, okay? I can't not know.

I just get really frustrated when Gojo's disregarded like that. He is his own person with his own beliefs who's made his own choices. They both are. And maybe it's dumb to get up in arms about a story that's not even real, but Gojo's a really imperfect person who struggles and suffers, and at the end of the day? He tries his best.

Even with all the power in the world, he's still only human. He can still only do so much. He's expected to be more than he is a lot of the time, and still he really tries. He wants to make the world better. He wants to make life better for the next generation. He has, in a way, given up on himself, but he's still going, because he knows his place in the world is still one that needs filling.

That's a narrative that means a lot to me. It's disheartening when it's misinterpreted because of the fun, silly, giggly side of his personality, or the reckless, careless, cocky side, both of which are wonderfully, excruciatingly human.

That's all.

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda drives me up a wall when people go "hey i think x action in a war/combat scenario is inhumane and cruel and shitty" and someone responds with "oh but within the laws of war it's allowed or there's procedure for it etc etc". it doesn't have to be a war crime to be unforgivable man it's a shitty rulebook anyway