#and he didnt even kill him. he couldnt. but there WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN THEM…..

[mutiny-huyutiny]

сборник всякой всячины по чуме+песьему двору

cw guro under the cut c метелиным и твириным. Again.

[mangosrar]

cerebral

matt sturniolo x fem reader

this isn’t proof read 😛😛

suggestive ???

i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.

it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.

lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.

"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.

"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.

"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.

"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.

"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.

"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.

"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.

"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.

"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.

before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.

he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.

"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.

"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.

"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.

"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.

"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.

the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.

make up sex is good for the soul.

pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

[omensandwonders]

i can't be saved

ghostface!noah x f!reader

(a/n: this is supposed to be a halloween/ bday post for our king even though it's DISGUSTINGLY late (mainly cause my blog didnt exist on his bday lol whoopsie) but BETTER LATE THAN NEVER AMIRITE HEATHENS)

warnings: cnc/dubcon, breaking and entering, mean!noah, knife play, blood play (he carves his initials into the reader lol), impact play, degradation, choking/ asphyxiation, creampie, general feral word vomit things, readers.. kinda dumb

1.3k-ish words

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it was friday, october 31st, 11.32pm. rain gently drummed against the windows, thunder rolling in the far off distance. it was the perfect night for you to cosy up with a book you had been meaning to get to for literal ages, but never had the chance to. snuggled up on your couch, a vanilla scented candle lit, you got to work.

you barely got 50 pages in before a loud crash sounded through your house, ripping you from the story you had just begun to immerse yourself in. what the actual hell was that? against your better judgement you stood up slowly, slippers quiet on the hardwood floor, and walked towards the area of the house where the sound had come from. you felt cold dread run down your spine as you saw it: one of your windows was torn completely open. the thud had been the window being thrown open and slamming into the wall. somebody was inside. mind and heart racing in panic you started taking slow steps backwards, trying to think of how to escape, when your back hit something. or better, someone. you yelped and turned quickly, now facing a tall, masked man. you couldnt see anything behind his mask, but you could see strong, heavily tattooed arms... and a knife in his hand. that's all it took for your survival instinct to kick in and you sprinted past him, a loud laugh echoing through the halls of your apartment before he took off after you, his heavy boots slamming against the floor loudly.

panting in fear you reached your bedroom and practically threw yourself under your bed. it was cliche, but maybe, just maybe he wouldnt check. you covered your mouth to muffle your breathing just as his heavy boots slid into view, coming to a halt in front of the bed before starting to slowly walk around the room. you could hear him open the closet before closing it again and it sounded like he was leaving. you were about to exhale in relief when you suddenly felt a large hand close around your ankle and yank you out from your hiding place "found you!" you could practically hear the grin in his voice, despite his face being hidden behind the mask. you screamed in fear, fists pounding against his chest until he pressed his knife to your throat "now, pet, none of that. you have any idea how fuckin' annoying that gets?" slowly you lowered your fists, hands shaking in fear. not like you had much of a choice anyways "much better. now... i was going to kill you, but... seeing you like this... that'd just be such a waste, wouldnt it?" you sobbed in fear as his free hand brushed a stray strand of hair from your face "all you gotta do is be a good girl and stay still for me, and ill let you live. isnt that nice?" he moved his knife away a little, just enough to let you nod meekly "good pet"

he barely left you time to process before taking his knife to your clothes, cutting them off of you in a few precise cuts and strong rips. it barely took a minute for you to be completely bare and shaking before him. he hummed contemplatively and let the tip of his knife slowly drag down the valley between your breasts, down to your navel and stopping just above your pussy. his free hand made his way up your soft thigh, giving it a squeeze before parting your legs roughly to give himself more space. with a soft sigh his thumb found your clit, starting to rub in slow but firm circles. he laughed at your pathetic moan "you dirty bitch, youre gettin' off on this, arent you?" he sunk two fingers into your cunt and all you could do was moan out. before you realized what was happening he put the knife down and his open palm met your cheek hard enough to send your head lolling to the side, other hand sinking a third finger into your pussy "when i ask you a question, i expect a fucking answer" "y-yes- yes, im getting off on it-" you all but sobbed out, the pain of his slap making your cunt clench and drool even more. within minutes of him toying with your pussy you were approaching your high, hips grinding against his hand, but just as you were about to fall off the edge, he pulled away, stopping all of his touches "nah, not until i say so" "please, please- fuck, 'm so clo-" he didnt even let you finish before he backhanded you again. he gripped your cheeks harshly, blunt nails digging into your soft skin and pulling you closer to his masked face "you forgetting your fucking place here? im in charge, slut, you do as i say. do i have to remind you? dont worry, i know just what to do with dumb cocksleeves like you" he let go of your cheeks, roughly letting you fall back to the floor. his left hand grabbed your throat to hold you down, other hand positioning the tip of his knife between your breasts. as realisation dawned on you you sobbed, fear running through your veins but you were helpless as he dug the blade in, not too deep, carving his initials into you slowly. NS. once he was satisfied with his work he wiped the blodd off his knife on your thigh before discarding it "there you go. little reminder of tonight for ya, mh?" he let go of your throat to grip your thigh, pressing one of your legs to your chest while the other positioned himself at your dripping entrance, your chest buzzed and ached from the shallow wound, but the scariest part was how much this all turned you on. he hilted himself with one smooth thrust and it punched the air out of your lungs. he was so thick and long, it felt like you were being split open. barely giving you time to adjust, his pace was rough and ruthless from the start, hips slamming into yours fast and hard. your wails and cries filled the room, mixed with his occassional deep groans and the sound of your skin slapping together. one of his large hands wrapped around your throat just tight enough to make your head go fuzzy, eyes rolling back with a loud moan. he was ruining you, ruining you for any other man, splitting you open on his cock and fucking you to tears. it was too good. "gonna cum? 'sokay, you can cum now, such a good fuckin' cocksleeve for me, pussy's so tight and warm- made for me, huh? made for takin' my dick like this- gonna fill you so good-" his filthy words sent you over the edge, cumming with a liud cry. with one last thrust he pushed as deep as he could, cumming inside you with a loud groan.

after you both came down from your high he slowly let go off you and pulled out before pulling off his mask, revealing the dissheveled but handsome face of your loving boyfriend, noah "did so good for me love, thank you for lettin' me try this" "i had so much fun, happy birthday baby" you laughed softly and pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he happily returned before leaning down and licking the blood off of your chest. he sat up and scooped you up in his arms "now to get you cleaned up and pamper you"

[m4yasnotthatcool]

Can we have Andrew and Reader have a life after the events of the game (In the Bulletless Decay route)?

Reader would be an exchange student who would have gone to stay with the Graves family, but in the end she ended up being another 'victim' of the game's circumstances.

She would be a type of person who was indifferent to almost everything, cold-blooded, with somewhat sociopathic tendencies but with a kind heart.

Okay, let's do this, after Ashley's murder, Andrew and Reader finally got fake teeth and moved somewhere far away, but with all the recent traumas and along with the fear of being abandoned.

Andrew started to have possessive tendencies, a little clingy, toxic, manipulative towards our 'poor thing' Reader and that would result in them having children in the future, to keep her trapped in the coffin with him.

ANDREW GRAVES X F!READER

(a/n: okay so i think i understand what u mean, sorry if its not what you expected, im a little(very) rusty rn at writing) NOT PROOF READ!

okay so first of all, Ashley never liked you, and thats part of the reason Andrew liked you sm

like, yea, he always does whatever his sister wants him to, and he hated himself for falling for you

but there was just something about how you were so indifferent under almost any circumstances (oh how he enjoyed seeing you crack under the pressure when you ate the cultist!)

your cold blooded outer shell was something intriguing to him

he wanted to study you

he wanted to get to know you.

did he care about you from the begining? ha, no.

of course he didnt

his sister hated you, so he hated you too

she was afraid you'd steal him from her so he didnt give you the chance

a couple of days into the quarantine is when he'll finally give in and start talking to you

and low and behold, he loved you from the first interaction

you were just so interesting!

he, of course, felt guilty for going against his sisters wishes, but he still would spend mre and more time just talking to you

after killing ashley i think he would just be in denial

for a really (REALLY) long time he would just wait for her to come back, even tough he knows shes not going to

after somehow getting away and finding a permanent place to stay, you two got in a relationship

both of you had abandonment issues you should treat, but neither of you felt it was necesary

from the start he didnt let you talk to anyone else but him

at first it was something you despited about him, feeling it was too clingy. you needed space, you needed privacy

but at one point those needs started fading away

he would tell you "you dont need anyone else but me. im the only one who is capable of understanding what you went trough! and you're the only one who can understand what I went trough. but its alright! dont worry about me! just worry about yourself and what you want. its not like you care about me anyway."

so you belived him

you didnt need anyone else but him

you told him you didnt want kids

thats one of the many topics you talked about when you met

you didnt feel they fufiled any particular need of yours and you didnt want to have them if you were just going to regret them after

he managed to change your mind

after having your 2nd child with him, you were so far gone that you remained just and empty shell of the person you used to be

the lines between you two started bleeding into eachother and so he absorbed your presence

you were no longer yourself

you were just who he wanted you to be all along

he still loved you of course

also i feel like he would get a lot of his manipulation skills from his sister

or whatever is the feeling he gets thats closest to love

he just needed you to stay

and whenever it seemed like you were ready to fly away, he would cut your wings

________________________________________

final a/n

i know its bad dude, im sorry 😭

if you were to ask me right now what i just wrote i couldnt tell you (like im fr rn)

if you want me to try to re-do it just ask (if u didnt like this one that is)

so uh

thx for asking

and sorry its bad lmao

here are the other fandoms i write for!

have a nice rest of ur day/night!

[hazerun3]

I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?

shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged

I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed

-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)

-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)

-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)

-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably

-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona

-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan

-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)

-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.

-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3

[connorsblog]

˙✧˖° SWEET TOOTH P.1 📷 ༘ ⋆｡ ˚

warnings: gore descriptions of animals, mention of walkers (obv), and some cussing if you count that,,

pairing: soft!s4!carl grimes x reader

kind of an au where rick doesnt pass out and carl & judith reunite immediately after the prison era (if that makes sense)

I HAD COMPLETELY forgotten why i was here, i was supposed to be scavenging.. but i got side tracked by a cluster of ducks off the edge of this pond.

they all looked oddly peaceful, even when walkers were snarling quietly behind the doors of the barricaded houses from when the world went to absolute shit.

my keys dangled loudly from my pant pocket as i crouched down, but i no other place to put them because i lost my bag a while ago, probably nabbed by a walker that was wandering around and i didn't notice.

a duck waddled by my feet slowly, something in its mouth. "whatcha got?" i whispered, the duck looking me straight in the eye before dropping the item on the dewed grass.

i picked it up slowly, inspecting it. i realized after a solid 15 seconds of looking at it that it wasn't anything interesting — just a piece of overly rusted metal.

i shoved it in my back pocket before getting up from my grass mound i had made, and set off to wherever i found solace in for the time being.

a duck quacked behind me loudly, but i ignored it before i heard the crunching of flesh. i turned around hesitantly, a sob slipping between my lips as i saw multiple ducks being torn apart piece by piece — blood spurting everywhere.

i turned around before the walkers could notice i was still there, using all of my strength to climb up one of those tall, darkened trees until they disappeared.

EVEN AFTER SOME time, i was still stuck in that damn tree. why did i even fucking choose to go up here? i knew they wouldnt leave until the sun rose — chasing after it idiotically.

i think i started to doze off before i heard a gunshot ring through my ears — watching the walkers being shot from probably about two or three spots.

i sat up after they all dropped to the ground, my feet swung over the trunk. i guess the people that killed them hadn't realized my presence.

"who are you?" an older man had shouted out, i guess he didn't realize i was a damn kid but, better safe than sorry.

i called out my name before all three of them seemed to relax, the same man who yelled at me had beckoned me to come down.

"you all look rough," i said, crinkling my lip backwards for a second. i never really had a filter — but that didnt seem to affect any of them.

"yeah — we probably do," the woman said. her voice was nice, she sounded kind. well, some people are straight up horrible and they sound sweet as a damn peach tree.

"i'm michonne," the woman said, seeming to grin like she couldnt do anything but.

"i'm carl!" the young boy introduced himself enthusiastically, smiling. why did they all smile so damn big?

"rick," the older man husked out, not smiling. well, finally one with some sanity i guess.

after a few seconds of silence, carl handed me a piece of chocolate that was half melted. "do you like candy? i have more at the house —" he talked with a certain enthusiasm i couldnt reciprocate, especially after watching those ducks being torn apart.

rick interrupted him, "we can't show them the house! what if they have people?" rick whispered, but i heard every word.

"i lost my people 'bout a week ago. mainly just sticking to this neighborhood for now," i spoke up. i didn't want these damn country people to conspire about me.

"dad, let them come to the house!" carl pleaded, "they seem nice, and its already like nighttime now."

rick was in thought for a moment, putting his hand on his chin as his gun slacked in the holster.

"yeah — c'mon. it's gettin' late, kid."

a/n: this sucks so bad but i'm making this a series to preoccupy myself LMAO

[sillyyuserr]

Terukane analysis <33

one of my favorties because it really shows how much they care and more about THEM less about how teru looks at akane or things like that (watch the fuck out it killed me writing this)

like i said in my last last LAST post, i wanted to write an analysis on what happened between terukane just before the severance so here i am🙏

after getting back to the ”human realm”, akane realizes aoi isnt there with him, turns around in confusion, and sees teru with a saddened look on his face

Teru looks saddened while explaining what happened to aoi and how she couldnt return

Akane asks if teru knew the whole time, teru confesses to having had known that she wouldnt come back but didnt say anything, leading to akane being very clearly distressed and upset

Akane grabs teru by the shirt/jacket or wtv hes wearing and punches him and shoves him against a wall

Akane’s done with attacking teru, and turns around to try to go back and get her, falls to the ground in pain, his untreated wounds getting worse by the minute, gets back up to get her, teru forces him down, akane’s lying on the ground, disappointed and sad

Yadayadayada idrc what happens after this thats not what we’re focusing on, now that im done with the ridiculously long recap lets break it down further

As seen here, teru is both feeling and looking, extremely guilty. He’s guilty ab not telling akane, but knowing he kind of had to keep it a secret

Something you need to know ab terukane to really understand it, is their relationship is heavily built around their trust in one another so when teru hid how aoi couldnt come back from akane, he was hurt and confused as if he had never seen it coming, like it wasnt even a what if. He knows teru tries to be “perfect” to everyone else, but had never even CONSIDERED that he might lie to HIM. 

The reason this hit like a fucking global pandemic is because akane trusted teru so much he didn’t even think ab the “what ifs” and even if he did, him lying wouldnt even be on there

and since he was really hurt, he lashed out and punched him. Teru knew he was hurt/betrayed and let him punch him, feeling guilty at himself for keeping this from him. Gosh they really do care about one another

As seen here, akane tries to get aoi, but in his damaged state, he literally cannot. Teru knows this, and hurts inside seeing him like this, him having to literally shove him to the ground to stop him.

Akane seems to be at like rock bottom rn. Just lost his childhood bsf and this dude he swears he hates just lied to him ab something this srs. my mans really going through it

Forgot to add but teru looks especially heartbroken here looking at akane, it literally hurts him to do this to akane, but he knew he wouldnt leave aoi there so he did what was best for him, and brought him back. Also not to mention he literally travelled through the most notorious school mystery’s boundary (also the god of fucking death like wdym) just to save akane like what the fuck

teru’s so obvious istg if AidaIro doesnt make terukane canon thats one thing, but if they dont confirm or at least prove in some way teru has a crush on akane, my entire life is a fucking lie

pls give me ideas or stuff ab terukane that you’ve noticed and i havent im running out of analysis ideas 😭😭🙏

[iwanty0uu]

“𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑃𝑢𝑚 𝑃𝑢𝑚 𝑁𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟“~𝓁ℯ𝓁ℯ ✧˚ · . ✧˚ · . ✧˚ · .

pt3…

He closed the room door after you trailed behind him, the bed bounced slightly as you sat on it, smiling keeping your head low. “Why wont you look at me baby? I’m not that ugly am i?” he joked making you giggle, “no its just that..”looking away, tears starting to form but they were blinked away before the boy in front of you noticed, you were sensitive but not pussy. “Talk to me mama” he said as he cocked his head, leaning in front of the wall that seemed to have gained your interest.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Well i literally just met you but it feels like i can really trust you, I’m not an idiot and I would kill you before you could even try to just hit and dip” He chuckled at the statement, he understood where you came from and thats what he wanted to avoid. He didn’t want you to have the impression that he used you, so he would only do as much as you wanted him too. But before he shared his thought you said something that changed his mood, that almost offended him. “And i honestly thought you wouldn’t like me all that much because i not all that skinny you know” you hunched over to untie your shoes and set them aside, the high waist of your skirt rolled itself down.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

You couldnt help but open the button to get more comfortable. Your belly ring showed and shimmered while you adjusted your skirt, no longer caring about the stretch marks on your tummy and the indents left on your skin due to the tight nature of your skirt. “ Why would think any part of you is ugly? You dont need me telling you that you’re beautiful because i know you already know, but i refuse to let you sit here and shit on yourself cus you dont look like what bum ass dudes think is beautiful” his hands navigated their way to your chin,“boy fuck them niggas” you added which made laughter erupt from the both of you.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

A sigh escaped your lips, inhaling the remaining air. You appreciated his humor, but he was right, your insecurity started from a young age. You were so mean to the little girl that just wanted to fit in and feel beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was like the sunset, that reminded people of Pink and White by Frank Ocean, the kind of beautiful that was self made and wasnt built on the validation of others.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

If you felt anything right now, it was that, beautiful, confident, and ready to fuck the guy that caught your eye. You started the kiss back up again, only this time you had the intention of taking it further than before. Your clit throbbed as your hand slipped and grabbed onto your purple panties, using them to subtly stimulate the throbbing bud in between your legs. His tongue fought for dominance in your mouth, his soft plush lips were so warm, you couldnt help but wonder what it felt like on your second pair of lips. Pushing him away and separating ,left a long thread of saliva connecting between you two.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Con” lust filled his hazel bright eyes, he listened to every word you said, your voice remained low but strong, “take this off, i dont want you to mess it up” you said smirking, tugging on the bottom of his hoodie, lifting it over his head. His chains clanked together, falling onto his wife beater. His hoodie was discarded and forgotten as he untied and removed your shirt, revealing the purple bra under it, breasts pouring out of the “too small” push up bra which sent the blood straight to his dick. You felt it throb through his sweatpants as the bulge grew on your legs. He shifted in between you, now attacking your neck, you moaned softly as he left love bites all over your skin.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Connieee” you pleaded softly. If you didnt know any better you would confuse the throbbing in between your legs with the increasing pulse of your heart. “Can i take your skirt off Y/n?” he said breaking his kisses, “tell me when you want me to stop baby girl,please.” At this moment, you knew he was all yours and only yours “yes connie, take it off” you said, you felt the adrenaline rush through your body making you hyperactive. Small kisses were sent down your plush thighs, kissing the wet mark on your panties.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

He lifted your leg over his shoulder and kissed the scar on your ankle, then kissed your knee, fingers slowly removing your undergarment as he made his was back up to your pussy. He spread your lips open , kissing your left lip, then your right, then focusing his attention on your slit. Licking up and down slowly, then quickly, “Connie baby i-“ you gasped as he pushed his finger inside of you, the same one with the silver ring on it. “i seen you liked this one” he said thrusting up into the plush on your throbbing, wet cunt, licking the fluid that was on your exposed thighs. He sucked on your clit, a feeling you only even experienced thanks to your purple rose toy that you bought for yourself as a graduation gift.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

He flicked the bud of nerves as goosebumps flooded your body, arching your back in an unnatural shape as you rode his finger that was now curved making space for the second one. “mhhhmm oh shit conniee please fuck this pussy” you babbled as he licked faster, making deeper and slower strokes inside of you, “Connie im cumminnnn” you tried to stifle your moans but you were submerged in the orgasm you worked so hard for, your body twitched in Connie’s mouth, tightening around the tongue that pushed up against your walls further into your hole.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Eyes now rolling back at the overstimulation, Connie gripped onto your hips, his motions came to a halt as he kissed your clit, and went up all the way to your stomach. Legs rested over his shoulders, you smiled to yourself knowing that the night you had dreamed of was successful. A pussy drunk connie still kissing your tummy mumbling sweet things about you. Less than five minutes passed and Connie got up kissed you on your cheek, rubbing your hip, “lemme wipe you up baby” he said getting a wet rag from the restroom, it was dark outside and you weren’t surprised, but Connie came back quickly with a towel and went over your areas, slipped your panties on and rested on your stomach. “How did i do pretty?” he asked looking up at you, hazel eyes low. “I didn’t hurt you did I? was i grabbing on your thighs too hard?” he asked, you felt the genuine concern in his voice. It was so so so cute.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Aww look at you all pussy whipped, I’m okay baby you did amazing like amazing probably isn’t the word” you said rubbing his head, hearing his chuckle “only for you, you better never tell nobody you seen me like this” he joked “ only if you keep doing what you do with your tongue boo” you lifted his chin, and his face met yours with a nice smooch to seal off the night. “Thick girls just do it better” he said as he laid on your chest, playing with your breasts, biting them from time. “What can i say, this tummy of mine is made of gold ,likeeee good pum pum need good shelter” you couldn’t keep yourself serious, bursting into laughter at your comment, Connie laughed as well feeling nothing but content. He felt like he was already falling in love with you, you tasted so good and you were funny, and smart, and got your money up. Your Dior sneakers and Telfar didn’t go unnoticed, but besides that, he didn’t want to loose you trying to rush into a relationship and was willing to go as slow as you wanted as long as he got to see you smile...

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

i meannn be did know you were right tho pussy as good as yours did need a shelter, and he felt comfortable under it, and he love that you were comfortable with him being under it, as long as it was yours <3

like i literally wanna cry i have written this about 6 times because this shit constantly deletes like i have no more motivation to make it cute and aesthetic till tomorrow just lmk if yall fuck wit itand if my booboo bears want another one~𝓁ℯ𝓁ℯ <3

[diablademon]

I finally watched 'Baron Omatsuri and the secret island' movie.

I didnt want to watch it at first because I thought the artstyle was too wierd. But I learned that this movie was the creepiest of the one piece movies so I gave it a chance.

Nami gettin mad at Usopp was the most realistic of the argument.

Nami getting mad at Usopp for leaving her alone was normal for her, shes hot headed and rely on others to keep her safe. Usopp didnt even take it to heart that she yelled at him. But him saying betrayal was her thing and she slapping him and couldnt forgive him was understable. Nami can lie, trick and steal. But she doesnt betray her love ones. And betrayal is a sour spot for her.

Zoros and Sanjis anger isnt what I didnt really get thou.

Zoro and Sanji arguing isnt new and I didnt really see anything that stuck out between them for them to act that way. Especially not the part where Sanji Yelled at Nami when they couldnt find Usopp and Chopper. Sanji takes all kind of abuse from Nami, he have never been mad at her for ignoring him or her talking to another guy before. At most he get mad at the guy that Nami is talking to.

Zoro and Sanji are protective over Chopper and Usopp at times so them freaking out wasnt that suprising. But Sanji snapping at Nami is wierd. I understand its suppose to show how the crew is falling apart. But I dnt know what would make Sanji realisticlly snap like that.

Im also suprised Luffy didnt demand his friends whereabouts earlier. When the crew was arguing. That he would let his crew leave like that before speaking up I didnt understood. I understand he wouldnt know how to act as water 7 hadnt happen yet.

No real comments on Chopper and Robin, they did their own thing most of the time and was already gone by the time the drama happend.

But now to the ending.

I got hit with nostalgy when the creepy imagery started. It was something I recognized from old animes/movies but modern shows/movies havent been able to replicate. I didnt realise it was something I missed in movies.

It was great to watch. The artstyle didnt bother me that much as I thought it would. I wasnt prepared for the dad to do the killing blow to the flower. Normally Luffy is the one that take down the big bad while other help on the side line.

Now I just need to find my notes on which movie was worth watching next.

[gettinshiggywithit]

「ᴋɪꜱꜱ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪꜱᴛʟᴇᴛᴏᴇ」

Summary: a mistletoe mishaps at the ADA

Pairing: dazai x gn!reader (platonic with a little unrequited love~)

Genre:fluff

A/N: Sorry Im Late Guys!Hope You Like It!!

“THIS” said dazai, “This will be my masterpiece!”

You couldnt help but roll your eyes at the brunette’s eagerness.

What was he doing,you ask?

Hanging up bunches of mistletoe of course!

Over each doorway and window too.

In fact, if he could reach it,he’d stuck some mistletoe onto it!

This was his way of bringing in, as he said ‘his share of the Christmas spirit’

“Well! That looks like the last of it” dazai said as he got down from the rickety old ladder you’d been holding upright so he wouldn’t crash and fall,although heaven knows he’d have loooved to have fallen🙄.

As he got off the ladder with a little hop! You couldn’t help but let out a breath you didnt know you’d been holding in. He always kept you on your toes that was for sure~

“Dazai…are you sure Kunikida won’t kill you for this?” You said glancing at the mistletoe stuck all over the place with a mix of duct tape, blu tack and even wads of tape made out of frustration.

“Of courseee how could he! Ive only helped bring some much needed ✨Christmas spirit✨ into the ada!”

“And besides,” he paused before continuing, “Kunikida askedd me to help with the decorations! So im just following his orders~” he finished his statement off with a smirk.

“I know..but i dont think this was what h-“

And at that very moment a familiar shout echoes through the ada office,

“DAZAIIIIIII”

Kunikinda practically marched through the door towards your bandaged best friend,who now looked slightly less confident than he had literally five seconds ago.

“Why Kunikida! It’s lovely to-“

“DONT PLAY DUMB WITH ME DAZAI,WHAT THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS?!” The blonde said,motioning to all the mistletoe.

Dazai nonchalantly looked around the room and calmly answered, “wellll when you said ,’help with the decorations’ i thought-“

Kunikida’s frustrated groan cut dazai off for the second time in a row.

“I know what i said,you bandaged bafoon! Ughhh i didnt think you’d,” Kunikida paused and looked to you.

“Y/n please take these down… i think i need to lie down….”

And with that he stormed off to what you could only guess was his apartment.

You glared at dazai who wanted to say something before shushing him with a finger over his lips and a, “not another word. You put them up, you’re gonna take them down yourself.”

You expected cries of outrage and retaliation, but were only met with a reluctant “FINEEEEEE”

And after about an hour, all the mistletoe was gone and you were both on your break.

“You sure you got it all?” You asked as you took a bite out of your sandwich, “yeah…” replied the brunette looking at his crab legs when a glimmer suddenly returned to his eyes.

“But… i saved one for the prettiest girl (handomest boy) i know” he said before pulling out a single stem of mistletoe and dangling it between the two of you.

He looked at you expectantly and you looked at him before rolling your eyes and kissing him on the cheek.

“Awww no kiss on the lips??”

“In your dreams~” you said as you wrapped up your sandwich and headed to your locker.

But little did you know he was looking at your receding form like you’d hung the stars. “Hmm in my dreams…doesnt sound so bad…maybe next year then” he said smiling to himself.

Maybe next year indeed…

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[ainri]

hello! I'm the one who asked for one of illumi (yandere) could you make it headcanons?

illumi zoldyck as a yandere (hcs and drabble.)

•hunter x hunter

•yandere illumi headcanons + small drabble

•mostly fem oriented

•assasin/servant reader

•fic warinings: !dark content!, mentions of death multiple times including reader + reader’s family, insinuated character death at end, forced labor, undergarmnet theft, swear words, mild gaslighting, obsessive thoughts.

•🔞

•masterlist

•a/n: this is my first request so ty!!! tbh i rlly like writing yanderes like its just so fun? anyways someone should really do a crime count because i had to put some extra stuff in the fic warning so that people wouldn’t go crazy on me or call me insensitive 🥰sorry for the wait i completely forgot abt tumblr…..🙊if it doesnt make sense its because i rushed it bc i felt bad for how long i kept my anon waiting (sorry anon pookiebear) and its 1:27am 😞😞

continuation of this post!

<🌟🌟🌟>

-how did you end up this position again?

-oh yeah thats right! your parents were also assasins who just happened to have ‘issues’ with the zoldycks.

-they had personal issues with silva due to a deal gone wrong between the two assassin families.

-how did silva handle getting played by your parents? by sending out an order to kill them.

-but silva is a higher class man with much bigger issues. who’s better to do the job than his son illumi?

-of course the original order was to kill you, your father, and your mother.

-when illumi saw you walking back onto your family’s estate something in him just snapped.

-he just couldn’t help it; he had to have you, no matter the cost.

-that was the moment he realized he couldnt just let you die or kill you.

-you were…special?

-that was the first mission he had ever failed… he just couldnt bring himself to kill you.

-after silva finished beating the shit out of him; illumi had an idea.

-illumi spoke of this idea to silva; to make you a personal servant in return for you and your parents’ lives.

-of course silva agreed, once silva privately told you of this ‘agreement’ you had to agree.

-best to not test the zolycks’ willpower and to not test the waters.

-working as illumi’s personal servant was fine, that was before your panties started disappearing randomly from your laundry bin.

-“master illumi, i hate to bother you with this but have you seen my panties?”

-“no. what are you saying servant?”

-he quickly retorted back, almost, no, way too quickly.

-of course, this all started to add up when the male zoldyck house staff started to ignore you + avoid you like the plague.

-apologizing profusely to you over the smallest mistakes or accidents.

-this was all bizzare…. you needed answers, as quickly as possible.

•••

it was a calm day of cleaning when suddenly you walked in on it—illumi torturing your male coworker who helped you clean the atrium yesterday. “master illumi, what are you doing?” the servant asked horrified and confused,

“none of your business servant-“ he stopped himself to reword his sentence, “you know what? no! i was teaching him a lesson for speaking to you. besides you only belong to me!-right? right? say you belong to me! i killed all of those men—no, boys for you and you can’t even say, ‘thank you master illumi.’!?” he was yelling, now losing his temper.

“master illumi i didnt ask for you to kill for me! whats wrong with you? you-you-you psychopath! youre being completely delusional and irrational!—“

CLANG

all you saw was black as you felt your vision go blurry with illumi hitting you in the head with skme heavy blunted off object.

“i don’t appreciate that (name), i don’t appreciate it at all. you ungrateful woman. all i ever wanted to do was love you. clearly you cant even allow me to do that much. what a shame.”

END

••••••••

©2023 ainri; do not repost my work without credit or repost my work in a different language♡

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Gabimaru & Chobei; Their Humanity & Some Parallels

Both Gabimaru and Chobei are one of the most dangerous, strongest, violent criminals of the story. Even though, they dont interact much because they have their own story and journey, its like there is this Aza brothers and Gabi-gang. Be carefull for the spoilers :)))).

1- Humanity of Two Crazy Savages;

Those two characters are easiely one of the most interesting characters in series because of humanity in them, despite the fact that they are bloody criminals and what makes it better is its different for both of them.

With Gabimaru, every interaction and connection he made with others shows a different side of him. First, with his wife Yui, first person who ever kind to him and we get cute, blushy side of Gabi and later with Sagiri, she saves his life and despite the fact that her job is killing him, she empathise with him as person, not only it helps her to grow better and she also helps him to grow too, they connected deeply. And his interaction with Yuzuriha is sassy and they dont really get along but it still feels geniue, like sibling relationship. And with Mei, he decides to help that little girl because he remembered that she was treated horribly, just like Yui was and he empathize her desire to live normal life which is something he desperately wants too. And with other comprades he made with Tamiya, Fuchi and others, he naturaly gets along with him because why not? They dont have any reason to fight and all so we get this another side of Gabi with the connections he made with multiple people. We get version of him being flustered, sassy, grumpy, nekomaru etc, its fun to explore of him because he is not hollow. And the fact that he is small guy makes it funnier, lol.

With Chobei, another criminal we explore his humanity, during the story but in opposite way because Chobei doesnt really care about other people the way Gabi did. He has no interest in them and he has no motivation to change and to him, he already has everything he needs. Power, respect, Toma. He is egoistical barbaric guy who can easiely get along with others but he simply dont want to so what makes his character interesting isnt the ‘interaction’ he had with multiple people, it is just one person, his little brother Toma. Everything he did, his beginning, his ending, his motivation, everything is connected to his love for his brother. Chobei become a bandit to survive so that he could protect Toma. His one of the most important memories are being big brother. ‘Break down. Come apart.’ Something he repeatedly said from that specific memory. He doesnt mind dying for getting hurt for him and always ready to protect him. He loves Toma, he wants to protect him, he wants to be with him. It is interesting because he is very self-absorved character who couldnt care less about other people, except he will throw it all away for Toma.

If this story was longer and if Toma wanted to have normal life, i think Chobei would abandon his bandit king life. Their relationship is easiely one of the most interesting thing in story because it affects each others character, they mess each others up by only closing theirselves off from others, they are trauma bonding and has several abandonment issues but also their love is so pure that at least they have each others. Its just, no matter what happens, they will always be each others number one. (One of the funniest thing about this is the fact that only reason Chobei didnt try to/murder main squad is simply because they just little take care of his precious brother.) And no matter what kind of life they have, they would most likely still be close as possible, because thats how they are. (Relationship between Aza brothers is too much to talk so for now, thats it.)

Both characters want to go home, something they mentioned during the story. Gabi wants to Yui and Chobei wants to Toma because its their home, their humanity. I guess, what makes Gabi and Chobei different is for Gabi had nothing, so its about him finding people whom he can see as family, friends, lover etc while Chobei lost all of it at once except Toma, so he wants to protect that one family he has forever, he doesnt need others because to him, Toma can fullfil all roles for him.

2- Parallels; The Hollow and Bandit King

Gabimaru was born into nothing, he lost his family before able to knowing and fully connecting with them. He has nothing, this is why he was empty, until he met his wife. Chobei was once had everything. He was royal boy who has nice family and cute little brother but then, one boy one, he lost all of them except his little brother. Ironically, the reason they become ‘villain’/criminals are opposite. Gabimaru became criminal because he had nothing, Chobei became criminal because had something to lose. And ironically, being criminal made Gabimaru prisoner of his messed up village while it made Chobei free from messed up rules of society.

Gabimaru had no reason to feel any feeling for those he killed because thats how he was raised but Chobei wasnt raised that way but he still had to survive, he had no choice but to adapt to protect the one he care about. Chobei mirrors the people who stronger than him to adapt sitution which eventually turn him into bandit. We can say they both didnt have much choices in life.

Later after meeting his wife, Gabimaru found something he doesnt want to lose, he started to regain his humanity and during his journey, he regain it more, with the help of Sagiri and other people he encountered during his journey. He and Sagiri connect and later, he decide to help Mei anyway and he connects with others.

Though, unlike Gabimaru, Chobei is a lot closed off towards strangers. Thats why while Gabi changes during the story, Chobei remains the same at core, only his little brother who learns to connect with others change and Chobei adapts to it. While Gabimaru wants to redeem and live normal life, Chobei wants to continue live his life as criminal. Gabimaru is a lot like hero while Chobe is a lot like villain but they are very human characters in the end. Despite they seem opposite, i think it is important to remember that their beginning is different and they both are ready to give up on their humanity to return to ones they dont want to lose. Their home. Their family. For Gabimaru, its his wife Yui and for Chobei, its his little brother, Toma.

They both have compatible partner, (platonic soulmates) in a way. They have opposite, perfect match partners for them.Gabimaru’s partner is Sagiri, even their element are matching. Fire and wood. For Chobei, his partner is Toma, their elements are matching too. Metal and Earth. Sagiri is tall, black hair girl while Gabi is short, white hair boy. Sagiri has mature, compatible, mother energy, she is obsessed with rules while Gabi is cat like, stubborn, desire his freedom but also obedient. Chobei is dominant, masculine energy while Toma is obedient, feminine boy. They match perfectly. (Sagiri and Toma are kinda parallels too, in a way with their loyalty and support, etc.)

Whenever Gabimaru and Chobei about to loose their humanity, Sagiri and Thoma are the ones who reminds them to their humanity. (Though, in Gabimaru’s case, its both his wife and Sagiri.).They do their best to help them.

Another difference is about their desire to live. Gabimaru wants to have normal life for himself, thats why he tries his best to survive during the story while Chobei only wants to survive to protect his little brother, its for someone else’s sake, the moment he thought his brother can handle things by himself, he was okay with dying, thankfully he didnt.

At the end of story, both Gabimaru and Chobei die and become plant-person and saved by Sagiri and Toma. Gabimaru finally receive the normal life he wants with Yui and Chobei continue to his weird adventures with Toma.

There are many things to say but for now, thats it. Jigokuraku specifically focus on humanity of criminals and craziness of samurays so its interesting to explore, especially Gabi and Chobei gets many focus so i would like to talk about them more. There were too many pics that fits here but well, i didnt want to use too much. I read this manga years ago, kinda in a mood to talk about it more.

[burnedwriter]

‘’i will show you the difference between me and the military’’

warnings:!afab reader,rough bj,eating out,making out,floor s*x,mild bondage,cursing,teasing,edging,blindfolded,enemies to lovers,subtle flirting,knifeplay?,fingering,petnames,mild interrogation.

backstory:the reader and philip hate eachother due to some things that happened in the past,but what will happen now that they finally meet face to face after the incident

A/n:had to censor some words bc i dont want my fic to get community labeled again,im not responsible for what people read.

'‘dont fucking touch me!’‘ you yelled at the guard pushing you.

‘‘then move’‘one of the guards yelled back at you,continuing pushing you with brute force.

You hear what seem to be a door opening as you are getting dragged into the room,the guards forcing you to sit on the chair,removing the bag that was keeping you blindfolded,you saw one of the guards tie your hands behind you while the other one tied your legs on the legs of the chair,before both of them exited the room,leaving you alone in the small room,you were able to to take a look around trying to find a way to escape

When suddenly you see the door swing open and to your unpleasant suprise there he was commander philip graves.

‘‘hello sweetheart’‘ he said with a sly smile on his face.

You felt your body get taken over by anger,you hated his guts with a burning passion,his fake charm that made millions fall for,even your superiors fell for it,you had a bad feeling from the start that something like this was going to happen from the start but it was already too late,when you realized his betrayal

‘‘so you are choosing to stay silent’‘he said pressing his lips together in frustration

‘‘i see how its going to be’‘

he moved closer to you now standing infront of you,before reaching for his knife that was resing inside the holster,pulling it out and toying with it giving you small threatening hints. he was good with his hands you stared at them when he played with the blade,making you wandered how his finger will feel inside of you,sadly you got rudly awakened from your little daydream by the cold blade on touching your neck,while you were caught up  on your daydreaming you didnt notice that he changed his position.

‘‘if you dont start talking right now, i will show you the difference between me and the military’‘pressing the knife against the tender skin of your neck,threatening you to talk

‘‘fuck you graves,im not telling you shit,not after what you did and do you really think a knife is going to scare me ’‘you spat out,taking some glimpses of his face from behind you from time to time

he was an attractive man you couldnt lie to yourself that you fantasized about him fucking you mercilessly before,afterall you had to worked together for a long time before he betrayed you.It wasnt the first time you eyed him like that

‘‘dont let me do this sweetheart, i dont want to kill you’‘ his voice low and raspy,did he really felt bad about hurting you,did he really hate you? or did he actually like the little game you two had going,all those question circling around your mind but they were quickly answered when he capped your face turning it to the right as he connecting his soft lips with yours,while still keeping the knife with his left hand showing you who is in charge.

The kiss depend between the two of you turning into a small make out session as a small warm feeling started to grow in your lower abdoment,leaving you wanting more,but removing his lips abraptly from yours to catch your breaths,moving in front of you,you could visibly see that you werent the only one that got excited ,his hard cock showing through his cargo pants,his size making you lick your lips.

‘‘you see what are you doing to me’‘he purred without breaking eye contact with you,as he started to unbuckle his belt,freeing his cock.

‘’you know what to do ‘’Slapping your cheek with his cock,you pressed your lips on the head of his cock as you slowly started taking him deeper into your mouth making you gag a bit

‘‘hmmm’‘ he let out a low groan at the warm sensation of your mouth,as you started to slowly bop your head back and forth,looking up at graves.

Trying to tease him a little bit you swirling your tongue at the head of his cock,making him jolt his hips.Getting impatient from your painfully slow pace his hand snaked at the back of your head,making the pace to a faster one,now fully facefucking you.Your eyes started to tear as you chocked on his cock,afterawhile you started to feel him getting close to his argasm as his cock throbed in your mouth but before he could finish,he pulled you away,denying his own orgasm,you tried to catch your breath,whilst putting himself back in his pants for the moment.

‘‘i didnt know you liked it rough’‘he remarked,looking down at your pants he could see a wet spot that has formed.

‘‘ think i should leave you like this’‘he teased

‘‘graves please’‘you begged desperetly

‘‘fine...but if i see you doing anything stupid i wont hesitate to kill you’‘he said cutting the ropes,freeing you from the restrains and putting the knife back to the holter

You moved yourself closer to the edge of the chair and unbuckled your own pants,you lifted your hips so he could help you slide them off completly,he wrapped his arms around your hips as you place your legs over his shoulder to balance yourself,with him between your legs you felt his hot breath against your cunt teasing you giving, you a taste of your own medicine.

‘‘come on philip~’‘ you whined

‘‘what happened i thought you like teasing’‘he said poking fun at your begging.

Finally placing his tongue on your clit,he drew slow circle around it,teasing you more

‘‘philip~’‘begging him to stop his teasing

‘‘whatever you say sweetheart’‘

He moved his tongue up and down ,from your hole to your clit,sending goosebumbs down your spine

‘‘ah~’‘biting your lip not wanting him to hear your moans

‘‘dont hide your pretty voice away from me’‘

Picking up your juices with his middle finger and slowly inserting it inside you,you jolted forward feeling your walls being parted as you desperatly grippping the head of the chair. inserting another one,he started fingering you at a slow and steady pace to later becoming a faster and rougher one

‘‘Ah~ngh~’‘you moan unable to contain yourself anymore from the pleasure he was giving you

‘‘thats what i like to hear’‘philip cooed,sucking on your neglected clit,while his fingers never slowing down,you felt yourself closer and closer to your climax but before you could finish,philip removed his mouth away from your cunt,edging you

‘‘f-fuck~’‘you groaned in frustration

‘‘you didnt think i will let you finish this quickly,did you,sweetheart’‘he taunted,wiping his chin

‘‘lay down on the floor for me ,sadly our clothes will have to do for now’‘he commanded both of you placing your clothes on the floor trying to make a makeshift bedding so you could lay down.

Getting on top of you,he started to rub the tip of his cock on your cunt coating it with your wetness before entering you with one slow thrust all at once,making your back arch in the sensation.He waited for you to get adjusted to his size before starting to roll his hips in a lazy pace

‘‘stop teasing me already for fuck sake’‘you hissed and with that,he changed his lazy pace to a brutal one at your complain,mercilessly fucking your hole

‘‘i wanted to fuck you for so long,ever since i saw you’’he panted, mercilessly fucking your hole

‘‘bet you would’‘you breathed out

Both of you chasing your climax,the room was filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping,you hope that there werent any guards outside unfortunate enough to hear them

‘‘Philip~i-im close,d-dont you dare e-dge me’‘ you pleaded,with the last bit of breath you had not wanting him to edge you once again

‘‘come on baby come on’‘he praised,as he fucked into you

one last thrust and your walls flattered around his cock,cumming all over him

Trying to catch your breathes Gravespulled out of you and helped you get up from the ground as the two of you started to get dressed

‘‘I didnt know you liked me to the point were you wanted fuck me,i thought you hated my guts as much as i did your’‘you commented with a smirk

‘‘i guess afterall,it was bound to happen’‘he replied

‘‘but dont think that i will be easy on you,you are in my base now’‘it sounded like a promise more than a threat but until then only time will tell

[puhpandas]

Tony Becker vs. a Panic Attack

(3,320 words)

Gregory helps Tony with a bully, but has a panic attack in the process. Tony helps him through it as much as hes able. (!!!warnings: a panic attack, a fistfight, implied/referenced past child abuse, pepper spray mention)

Tony had just been trying to get through the school day.

Usually, bullies leave them alone. Tony and Ellis and Gregory. It's not that they're immune, just that they're pretty much invisible. They're more ignored than ridiculed.

But of course, they've had their share of targetting. Enough to recognize which day is gonna be an eventful one, where the bullies decide to pick on them that day for whatever reason.

This is one of those days. Mitch Watterson is one of the more bigger, bulky kids in class. Not much of an airhead, but more just overconfident in himself because he grew up being feared by others.

At least that's what Tony thinks. He likes to do that. To try to understand why some people are the way they are. Its interesting to delve into what events could lead up to the person they are today.

Mitch has been eyeing him all day. First it started with mean stares, then turned into tossing paper balls at his head in class, until it eventually evolved into Mitch throwing taunts at his back.

Tony knew this was coming all day, which is why it isnt suprising when Mitch corners him at his locker, when school is minutes away from being let out for the weekend.

"How many did your dad kill again?" Mitch sneers at him when Tony hadn't reacted the way he wants so far. He'd been targeting basically the one thing Mitch knows about him that's a sore spot; his Dad. So far, it's taken everything in Tony to not spew what he thinks are facts at him, just to defend his Dad.

"Enough to get caught." Mitch grins at him, a glint in his eye that only gets more prominent when Tony finally reacts.

Tony furrows his brows so hard they hurt. He frowns as he says "He didnt kill anybody. It was just a felony--"

"It was just a felony." Mitch interrupts, his voice high in pitch to mock Tony's. "Heh. Why are you defending him, are you like him? You gonna kill me, too? Are you planning my murder right now?"

Tony grits his teeth as he slams his locker door shut, but he stays silent. He knows Mitch doesnt know what hes talking about, just saying things that may be hurtful, even if they dont make any sense. He really wants to hit Mitch right now, but he knows hes pretty average for his size while Mitch is big and beefy. He would be starting a fight he couldnt win.

Mitch doesnt seem to have the same restrictions, though. When Tony doesnt respond, he let's out a mean cackle and begins to step towards Tony menacingly.

"Maybe I should snuff you out before you can begin." He says, a mean smile on his face as he boxes Tony in. "You're the son of a criminal, and apples never fall far from the tree."

Tony knows that isnt what Mitch really cares about, hes just spewing bullcrap to rile up Tony before he beats him up. All Tony can do is back away to keep distance between him and Mitch, and he hisses under his breath when his back hits a wall.

Mitch cackles at the display, and Tony feels panic grip his chest. Mitch has Tony right where he wants him, and if he doesnt do something soon, Mitchs fists are soon gonna start flying.

Tony wracks his brain for a plan, or even just an idea on how to get out of this, and right as he begins to form a short half-hazardous plan, a figure steps in between him and Mitch.

If the blue shirt and spiky hair isnt indication enough, the fact that he can still see Mitch over the figures head definitely is.

Tony feels his heart drop when Gregory stands between him and Mitch, posture straightened and chest puffed out. Tony can only imagine the hatred and disgust twisted on Gregorys face right now, but he has no doubt it's there. It's an expression hes seen on his face multiple times when they witness bullying.

Tony freezes, not knowing what to do. He'd thought Gregory already left for the day. Mitch stops in his tracks too, looking at Gregory almost curiously. Sure, Gregory has a reputation in school for being tough and not someone you should mess with, but picking a fight with the biggest, meanest boy in class?

Tony cant see a scenario where this ends well.

Mitch seems to recover from the initial surprise quickly, and it's not long before an evil grin spreads across his face, and he laughs. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to step in."

Despite Mitch continuing to step forward, almost circling them, Gregory doesnt falter, and all he does is match Mitchs pace with a glint in his eye.

"Decided to help your little boyfriend?" Mitch sneers, a disgusted look on his face. "Cute. But stupid. You're no match for me, you know that, right?"

Gregory shakes his head. "There are things that matter more than brute strength." He says, and latently reaches for a pocket in his bag.

Tony thinks this is one of those times where Gregory says something super deep, that Tony cant get out of his head after he hears it, but Gregory doesnt continue that sentiment with something smart, all he says is,

"Plus, I hate bullies."

It's only then that Tony can see Mitchs eyes flick for just a moment, so fast he almost missed it, but Mitch looking directly at where Gregory was reaching and then back at him is too much to ignore.

Tony's eyes blow wide, and he reaches out. "Gregory, watch ou--!"

Mitch is on Gregory before he can finish. He dives at him, almost snarling as he goes to grab Gregory's arm. Gregory startles, moving his arm away from his pocket to use Mitchs momentum against him.

If theres one thing about Mitch, it's that hes painfully predictable. Before Mitch can grab ahold of Gregory's arm, Gregory thrusts his fist directly into Mitchs gut.

Mitch keels over, stopping in his tracks to hunch over. Kids in the hallway begin to stop and watch, murmuring travelling through the hall. Before Gregory can make another move, Mitch has recovered.

"Nice try," Mitch grits out, standing back up to full height, and Tony feels his breath get caught in his throat when Gregory doesnt move to get away. "but you'll have to do more than that to--"

Before Mitch can finish, Gregory's smashing his shoe into Mitchs knee.

At this point, a crowd has begun to form, and Tony can hear some kids ooooh at the blow.

Mitch folds, left supporting himself on his knee as his other one collapses under himself. He let's out some sort of garbled shriek, and Tony cant help the laugh that bursts out of him.

Gregory uses this opportunity to reach for his pocket again, for what is unknown to Tony, but Mitch notices, and when it processes, his eyes blow wide.

In a way that couldnt be predicted, Mitch somehow recovers prematurely, using newfound sudden strength to get to his feet and lunge at Gregory. Gregory doesnt even have time to try to dodge the attack, and he makes a suprised noise when Mitch grabs his shirt, tossing him against the lockers and keeping him there with a forearm pushed against his chest.

Gregory struggles, but his arms are trapped beneath Mitchs, and he isnt letting up anytime soon. Theres a pinch in Gregory's brow, and Tony is faintly aware of himself leaving the safety of the wall to take a step towards them, worried for Gregory, even though he cant do much to help.

Mitch pants, looking enraged. Gregory squirms under his weight, and he grits his teeth.

Mitchs free arm winds back. A punch is Tony's first guess, but the way hes positioned his hand, its not to punch Gregory, no. That's easy to recognize. For some unknown reason, instead, Mitch is winding his arm to backhand Gregory.

Tony almost freezes at the shock, movement staggering, but he catches a glimpse of Gregory's eyes from behind Mitchs bulky frame.

They're staring at Mitch, no his arm, reared back above Gregorys head and trembling with unfiltered rage.

Gregorys eyes, shockingly, are swimming with pure, unadulterated terror.

Tony has never seen Gregory look this way before. Gregory is looking at Mitch like hes winding up to kill him.

Mitch takes a deep breath, arm shaking with barely held back restraint. "This'll teach you not to mess with me--"

He readies his arm to strike, and Gregory flinches and squeezes his eyes shut, trembling badly. Tony thinks this is one of the moments where Gregory looks like a little kid.

Tony sees this go down from behind Mitch, something ugly gripping his chest and clouding his thoughts.

Without thinking, and with sudden strength not even he knew he had, Tony charges forward, shouldering the side of Mitchs body enough to displace him. Mitch cries out, his shock sending him scrambling for purchase as he looses balance.

Tony doesnt stick around to see Mitch fall, but he assumes it happens if the crowd all roaring in laughter is any indication. He reaches for Gregory, a firm grip on his arm, and he bolts.

Nobody follows them. In fact, the halls are completely empty, everyone having gathered for the fight or left the school. Tony pants as he sprints, eyes scanning for a place to hide.

He slows in front of the bathroom, skidding inside and dragging Gregory with him.

Tony releases Gregory, hunching over to support himself with his hands on his knees as he catches his breath, his heart hammering.

Adrenaline is still coursing through him, and he feels himself tremble, even after his refills his lungs and his legs stop burning from the sprint.

He takes one moment to listen, and see if any footsteps are racing down the hallway, ready to chase them down, but he hears nothing.

Tony begins to relax, but unlike himself, Gregory hasnt caught his breath yet. In fact, it sounds like Gregory cant breathe at all.

Panic grips at Tonys chest again when he whirls around, and sees Gregory leaning against the wall, knees wobbling and hand clutching at his heart, breaths short and fast.

Tony freezes, not knowing what's wrong. He hovers, taking a hesitant step towards Gregory. "...Greg? Are you--"

Tony doesnt get to finish. Gregory suddenly chokes on air, knees giving in as he slides down the tiled wall onto the disgusting school bathroom floor. He scrambles backwards, as if somethings attacking him. And so unlike what Tony's seen from Gregory, he pulls his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in them.

Tony stands there like an idiot, unsure of what to do. He fights himself to move, because Gregory cant breathe and hes obviously freaking out for some reason.

Hesitantly, Tony crouches down in front of Gregory, pausing for only a moment as he wracks his brain on what to do before settling a hand on Gregory's knee.

"Gregory!" He tries to get his attention. "Hey, Greg, are you okay?"

Tony's hand reels back when Gregory startles away from him like he burned him. He flinches so violently at Tony, that he almost feels hurt.

No. Tony shakes the idea away. Its not his fault. Dont get that into your head.

Tony thinks this is one of those attacks. Where something triggers it and you feel like you're gonna die. He cant remember the name right now, but he thinks that's what's happening.

Despite knowing what it is, Tony has absolutely zero clue how to help.

Tony makes a humming noise, bouncing anxiously as his hands hover, completely useless.

Gregory chokes again, making the most upsetting noises Tony's ever heard. Gregory flinches again, even though Tony didnt touch him.

Tony doesnt know what to do. He doesnt know how to help. You can't look for clues, here. You cant piece together a picture. Theres nothing about this he can latch onto to decipher, to figure out a way to help that wont upset Gregory further.

But Gregory is panicking, and he cant breathe, and even though Tony is scared and doesnt know what to do, he cant leave Gregory to just sit there and hyperventilate without at least trying.

So he takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and Tony schooches closer to Gregory this time not touching him. "Gregory? Hey, Greg. It's me. Tony."

No response, but Tony doesnt give up. "Um. It's your friend. I'm not Mitch, or, uh, anybody like that. I don't want to hurt you. Can you look at me, please? Can you even hear me?"

Tony perks up when Gregory peeks through his knees, slightly raising his head. Tony can tell that Gregory cant really see him, even though hes looking at him, but Tony smiles anyway.

"Hey." He says to Gregory, trying to keep his voice soft. "Um. You're okay, Greg. Were just in the bathroom, so were not nearby any bullies, or adults. It's just us here, okay?" Then he whispers. "If this is even helping?"

When Gregory reacts again, it's his trembling calming a bit and his head raising slightly.

Tony is really good at recognizing change in behavior. It's what a good investigator does if he wants answers from somebody. Gotta know if they're lying, or if they perk up if they know something. So when Gregory's eyes dart towards him ever so slightly, he notices, and grins.

"Greg." He says, relieved when Gregory isnt about to hyperventilate himself into unconsciousness anymore. Hes not completely okay yet, but it's better than before. Tony reaches out, but after a moments consideration, retracts his hand, just settling on setting it in his lap. "Hey, are you seeing me now?"

Gregory's eyes widen ever so slightly. "T--" he tries, but his voice wavers so much he coughs a bit. Tony leans forward a bit, worried, but Gregory catches his breath, if not normal breathing, then hard and fast but still functional. "H-Hey."

Tony jumps at the fact that Gregory can respond to him now. He leans forward, brows furrowed and hands hovering. "Um. I need you to tell me how to help you, okay? Can you do that? I'm, uh, kinda lost here."

Gregory's breath stutters, and he squeezes his eyes shut, but he manages, "Distraction. Fuh-- Five senses."

"Five senses." Tony repeats, now determined. "Okay. Okay! Uh..." He trails off, glancing around the room. "Okay... first. Greg, whats five things you see?"

It takes some visible effort, but Gregory peels his eyes open, a bead of sweat near his hairline and brows pinched. "U-Um... You, and... the sinks."

Tony nods. "Okay. Okay keep going."

"The... the stalls." Gregory huffs out, his breathing no longer short and fast but gasping and deep. "Um... the tile, the window, an--and my knees."

Tony nods, sagging in relief at somehow helping Gregory calm down, even with his previous cluelessness, Gregory gave him a hint now, and that's all hes got. "Okay! Now four things you hear."

"...My breathing." He chuckles without humor, almost self-deprecating, but stops when it takes too much of his breath. "Um..." He takes a deep breath. "Your voice. The pipes in the wall. The birds outside."

"Three things you can feel." Tony tells him, and this time, sets a hand on his knee, gentle as can be.

Gregory doesn't flinch, thankfully, but he does take a moment to answer, loosening his tightly wound body and taking deep, several seconds long breaths. "...Kay. Your hand." He trails off, shutting his eyes. "...The gross floor, and the nasty wall."

Tony breaths out a tiny half laugh at that, and smiles knowing if Gregory's saying things like that, hes probably feeling at least a little better. "Two things you can smell."

Gregory wrinkles his nose, opening his eyes and giving him a look. "...Dont make me do that in here."

Tony laughs for real this time, and grins when Gregory is able to smile again. "Okay, sure. As long as you're okay now."

Gregory winces when he tries to move his shaky arms to sit himself up. Tony reaches forward, relieved that Gregory's no longer curled up in a ball, flinching away from Tony when he tries to help. He helps Gregory sit up, and Gregory sends him a grateful smile. "Thanks."

Theres a few moments of silence, just Gregory letting himself relax even more and getting his breathing under control. Tony glances at him, questions eating away at him. When the silence continues to stretch Tony fidgets, and the question leaves his mouth without his permission when curiosity overwhelms his sense of thinking before he speaks. "What happened? Why did you react that way when Mitch..."

He catches himself at the last second, but it's not enough. Gregory flinches at the reminder, and he averts his eyes when he gets clammy again, looking uncomfortable.

Tony frowns, scolding himself. Stupid. He thinks. He should be able to push down his curiosity just for a second to help his friends, instead of only caring about getting answers. "Sorry... I, uh..."

"Its fine." Gregory says quickly, and he gets that rigid look on his face Tony recognizes as being deep in thought, mulling something over in his head thats unknown to Tony. He takes a breath. "I... when he was gonna slap me, it just... um... reminded me of stuff that's happened to me in the past, a little. That's all."

Tony's eyes widen ever so slightly when he understands, and he curses internally, feeling guilt curl in his stomach. He never should have asked. "Oh."

Gregory looks away, almost ashamed. "Yeah." He mutters. "Sorry that you had to, uh, see that."

Tony shakes his head immediately. "Its fine, Greg." He insists, leaning forward so Gregory will look at him. "I'll never judge you for stuff like that."

Gregory just stares at him, lips parted, but then he sighs. "Okay. Thanks, Tony."

Tony smiles, then when silence stretches across the bathroom, he decides to change the subject.

"So," Tony starts. "what were you gonna take out of your bag that scared Mitch so bad?" He asks.

Despite himself, a small smirk appears on Gregory's face. "Pepper spray." He says. "I've used it on him before. He cried like a baby."

Tony snorts at the thought of Mitch, the guy who claims to be the toughest kid in school, wallowing on the floor because Gregory sprayed something in his eyes. "So that's what you meant by things other than brute strength."

"Strength means nothing if they cant even touch you." Gregory grins, enough for Tony to see his permanently missing front tooth. "Especially if they have pepper spray in their eyes. It hurts pretty bad. See?"

Suddenly, a tube of pepper spray is thrusted towards Tonys eyes, and embarrassingly, he makes a dumb little yelp and shields his eyes with his hands.

Gregory cackles at the display, and Tony removes his forearms from his face, giving him a dirty look. "Why'd you put that in my face? What if it had sprayed me!?"

Gregory wipes a tear from his eye. "To scare you." He laughs. "And it worked."

Tony shakes his head, but despite himself, he also has a smile on his face. He didnt even see Gregory reach for it, let alone take it out of his backpack.

"I need to get home soon." Tony says after a moment of laughing together, thinking of his Mom. They've probably been here for a long time even after School let out.

"Can I come over?" Gregory asks quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. When Tony looks at him, Gregory averts his eyes.

"Of course." Tony says. He wouldn't want to be alone after that, and even if Gregory could, Tonys happy to keep him company.

ao3 link

[oh-for-fic-sake-library]

Dont make me do this

Masterlist

Summary: The chosen one has fallen, disappearing into the dark, following sidious. And though it is your duty to end him you just cant, why? Why should you kill him when ll he had done was be human? He gave everything for the love of his life. And you would do the same, you abandoned him once, and you will not make that mistake again, even if it meant following him into the shadows.

Warnings: jedi bashing? Swearing, angst, poorly writen gore/graphic injury.

A/N: This is a purely self indulgent fic based around unrequited/hidden love and HE DIDNT DESERVE THE FUCKING SUIT! All that precious little bean did was try to save his wife a baby 😭😭😭

"Obi wan, we have to do this" you pleaded quietly, trying not to let padme hear you from your position in the cock pit. Your eyes searched his desperately, praying he'd see reason and agree to help you. You couldnt do this alone. Your prayers were unanswered Instead you felt ice prickle in your veins. shuddering under the intense glare the jedi master sent you. Youd never seen him so... angry before

"This is madness! You are letting your feelings cloud you;" he scolded quickly wiping the rage from his face trying not to succumbto his own emptions and be called out as a hypocrite.

"Damn fucking right i am! I am letting it get in the way, because being fucking emotionless drove him away, drove him to this." you snapped back your own desperation driving you to a furious frustration.

"Thea please now is not the time for this;" obi-wan sighed once again trying to brush you off as he often did. As everyone did. But this time you refused to be ignored, this was too damn important. You leant over slamming both hands down on the console letting your force crackle ominously around you.

Obi-wan stiffened at the display of hot fury. Something he'd heard mace and yoda raise concern about in meetings, yet he'd never seen this for himself. It was unsettling to see you so riled up. For the first time in his life he saw somthing else in you. Something frightening.

"It is the only time for this! Obi-wan, Anakin has struggled all his life in the order. He feels much more then anyone i know. He doesn't feel sadness only devastation, not happiness but elation, never fondness but love. He always has. And he felt completely and utterly alone" obi-wan tried to argue, he opened his mouth wantingnto find the words to counter you. But he couldnt, you were right, Anakin sought out connections. He didnt mean to but he did, subconsciously he always needed to cling to something, someone.

And in pushing him away, setting clear boundaries between them in an effort to stop himself becoming a father figure to anakin he hadnt been there to stop this madness. He'd failed to curb anakins need for attachments. Perhaps if he had allowed anakin to latch onto him as the boy wanted, he wouldnt have unknowingly sought out sidious, or you or persued padme. He could have happily continued his path as a jedi along side his master.

"We did that, we isolated him. Or made himmfeel isolated. He felt like he couldnt come to us for help obi-wan. He thought we'd judge him, that we would abandon him."

"He was terrified that the one person he loves, the only person in the world he could truly be ungaurded around was about to be torn from him. He made mistakes but so did we..." you traild off slumping back against the wall of the ship feeling your own shame wash over you. The many times youd seen anakin not himself, but let him brush you off, telling you he was just tired or giving some other generic excuse. Should you have pressed him harder? Pushed for answers, made him snap at you and perhaps get the truth. Was that what he needed?

"He slaughtered the younglings! He's become sith, and you want to pity him, you dont know what your asking!" Your self doubt was cut short as obi-wan growled in anguish. He was so torn, hurt by what had happened. Maye more so then you, he probably felt even more responsible for this then you did. He practically raised anakin. But no mtter how much this hurt him you were not about to let him take it out on you. No. He didnt get to do that, he wasnt the only person hurting, nd you werent about to become an emotional punching bag for him.

"I am asking you to fucking help me. I am asking you not to do this, dont fight him. He doesnt need an adversary. He needs help, he need us to accept him, to be honest with him and guide him" you snapped back watching with a tightening chest as obi-wan pulled back slightly. Before shaking his head scoffing at you, trying to calm his irritation. He spun away from you flicking a switch on the control panel before ducking his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Accept him? How. How can we accept this! How can you stand there and tell us we need to join him!" When he finally spoke again his voice rose quickly. You faltered not used to seei g anything but mild disapproval from him. Never had he bordered anger like this. You knew it was only natural, a mix of fear, disappointment and dread. He felt betrayed.

"Because thats what we need to do to fucking bring him back! I want to bring him back and we cant do that if we arnet beside him. For fuck sake this is the orders fault as much as it is sidious'... its our fault obi-wan. We ignored the signs, we... took Anakin for granted assumed he would cope alone so left him to his own devices" you managed to keep calm, trying to reason with obi-wan.

"We nurtured his turning by allowing his marriage to go undeteced we should have reported it;" obi-wan didnt get to finsh. You were narling in his face before he could move an inch.

"Dont you dare. DONT YOU DARE! Padme is the only reason he didnt fall sooner and you know it!" Your temper flared as you pointed in the direction of padme somewhere in the ship. Youd put up with a lot, but blaming padme because he couldnt stomach the thought of failing in his teachings was not one of them.

"And now look! He turned anyway! He fell Thea." He spoke quieter this time realising he may have begun to be unnecessarily harsh.

"Yeah he did. He fell right into the hands of sidious, because we couldnt catch him ourselves. Joining the dark side isnt the answer... even if we were just pretending so we can make him see the light, sidious would know." You offered once more, still trying to make obi-wan come around to your way of thinking. Surely it was better to try and save Anakin by nymeans then to just go and kill him? Didnt obi-wan love him enough to try?

"Im sorry but i have to do this. He has to see reason or..."

"Careful Obi-wan that almost sounded like an absolute." You hissed cruely making him snap his gaze to you. Eyes hardening as he took in your stnce, the way your force rippled around you sinisterly.

"Thea" he warned gently, trying to calm you and use that legendary charm he was famed for. But you sneered at him instead. All you could think was how easily the jedimaster was giving up, how he threw away his brother so quickly and would turn on him when there were other ways.

"You don even care how hypocritical you just sounded do you? The same old jedi double standard" Youd scoffed rolling your eyes, unable to The hypocrisy and intolerance wouldnt change.

"Please try to see things clearly" he almost pleaded, but unfortunately it was too late. Youd made your decision, and he had made his. All you could do now was watch things crumble around you.

"Oh trust me I do. i didnt before, but i finally understand. You dont see it. Do you? Its the order. Its poison. It's infected your mind like a sickness. They made sure the order means more to you then actual living breathing people." Your words began to twist, prod and slice at him but once you started you couldnt stop. Wouldnt stop.

"That no one in the galaxy should be more important or more powerfull then the jedi. Its funny really. The sith empire will rise again; more powerfull then last time and it was pssible because of the jedi orders hubris and even now the jedi are so blinded by their pride they refuse to admit it" your eyes locked with obi-wan's pwn pained gaze. He didnt respnd, you werent sure if it was because he was hurt by your words orif he thought this would blow over, that you were just throwing a tantrum. After a few more moments of silence he sighed, opeing his mouth to speak but it was too late.

"I dont want to hear it. Just know if you raise your saber, i will to." You anounced drawing a line in the sand before gettingnup, leaving the cockpit ignoring his calls to come back and talk this out. But there was no talking. No reconciliation. The time of the jedi had ended, the order was dead. and unfortunately obi-wan wasnt smart enough to admite defeat and abandon the sunken ship.

You watched from Inside the ship as anakin and obi-wan dueled across mustafar's boiling terrain. You yelled in fury obi-wan was cunning, after youd left him in the cockpitt to mull over your words he'd removed your acsess to the doors. And left with pad,e quickly making sure you were kept on the ship.

Your heart broke as the fight continued, eyes watering as two people you caredmfor deeply camemto blows in a brutal battle. Padme was unconscious on the floor by the ship. It had been frightening seeing first hand what anakin was capable of, what he was willing to do to those he belived betrayed him. A tiny part of you wanted to stay on the ship out of fear. You were scared he now thought you were a backstabber. That youd forsaken him as padme and obi-wan had.

No. no you couldnt allow it. You wont let him think so little of you.

"3-po! Quick we have to get padme, come on we have to help her" you pleaded motioning to the woman sprawled out on the floor. Your words drew the droids attention and suddenly he was stepping towards the back of the ship all the while continuing his usual anxious rambling.

As soon as the door was open you bolted, running past the droid full speed stopping beside padme checking her over. She was unconscious- maybe passed out? But not dead. Thankfully Anakin would never forgive himself or obi-wan if padme had died here like this.

"3-po you handle this, take her to the ship and look after her" you called over your shoulder to the droid ignoring the complaints from him.

You raced across the surface of mustafar unclipping your lightsaber as you climber a small burning dune of sand only to freeze at the scene. Obi-wan had anakin trapped, the former was being backed up to the flowing lava. They were yelling at one another, screaming. Anakin was meeting his master blow for blow but Obi-wan wasnt relenting or holding back instead he was leading anakin to the river. Anakin hadn't noticed, he was to angry, he wasnt paying attention.

You ran, jumping, leaping forward trying to close the distance between them before it was too late. Your anger spiked fueling you, urging you to go faster. Obi-wan was going to throw him in the lava. He wasnt going to kill him himself. He didnt have the guts to do it cleanly himself!

Obi-wan brought his saber down in a powerfull blow tipping Anakin off balance . And with that the chosen one began to fall.

"NO ANAKIN!" the scream tore from your throat in such a mournful bellow it hurt your vocal cords. Both men looked towards you startled by you. Your arrival destracted obi-wan enough for you to stretch out to the force as Anakin fell into the molten lava.

He screamed in excruciating pain as one arm, shoulder, leg and the side of his chest became burned but you yanked on him. Your force was quick enough to pull him from his fiery grave before it could engulf him. And it was strong enough to put some distance between him and obi wan. Anakin landed heavily out of harms way quivering, hissing and moaning as the pain of his wounds began settling.

Anakin was alive. He was alive. Thank the force youd got out of that ship.

You didnt stop. Even though Anakin was alive, you didnt stop your charge. No. Instead to ignited your own saber and jumped over Anakin before lunging at obi-wan.

"Wait what are you doing? You said youd help" obi-wan yelled raising his saber only just managing to block your own. He staggered back, unprepared for the power youd put behind the blow. He waited for you to pull back but you didnt. Instead you pushed on keeping your blade locked with his, digging your heals into the rock below you and using your weight to throw him back a few steps creating some distancebetween the two of you.

"I said id raise my saber if you do. I never said it'd be pointed at Anakin" you panted pointing your saber to him threateningly.

His eyes widened, realising you had intended to kill him. He glanced to the purple of your saber. He knew what it meant, had always known what it meant. You were comfortable useing the dark side if you had to. It was unspoken but purple sabers were somewhat feared in the order. It meant you had afinty for both light and dark. It meant you were a different kind of jedi. Strong, dangerous. Suddenly he felt sick, the beginings of dread and icey fear curling around him. It was as they had always feared. You were turning. Not just Anakin, you were going to the dark aswell.

"No. No! Thea dont do this! Dont follow him down this road" obi-wan pleaded lowering his saber shaking his head at you, hopeing, praying you will stop before its to late.

You widened your stance before casting a look over your shoulder to Anakin. As silly as it was you were uncomfortable with him behinde you. He was clearly stressed, angered beyond the point of reasoning. Your eyes locked with his and he frowned. He was trying to figure out if you were an ally in this or not. You nodded subtly to him.

"Youll be okay Anakin. I'll help you with your wounds i promise just... just sit tight okay?" You said glancing at the burns on his side, the bionic prostetic was fucked, the metal and carbon melted and twisted, his fingers all stuck in odd angles and fused as if he had cramp. It was probably where the caseing was melted and shrunk pressing on the components below. It was completely useless now.

Your gaze lifted with a wince the top of his arm and shoulder was almost steaming from the way the intense heat that had caught it. His skin was blitering, torn and sagging away from his actual muscles and tendons. He was sitting down at an odd angle, his arm jutted away from his body, avoiding the same agonising blisters and open wonuds on his arm that also decorated one side of his chest, down his ribs and abdomen.

He only uttered your name in response. Hissing as he shifted trying to inch closer. His eyes told you all you needed to know. He was relieved you were here, thankfull you saved him. Yet determined, angry. He wanted to kill obi-wan you could sense it. See it in him. He was frustrated because he knew how close he'd come to failing. How close he'd been to death. Yet he still wanted to fight. But he also knew he couldnt take on obi-wan again in this state.

"Thea Move!" Obi-wan demanded angrily drawing your attention away from Anakin. You growled locking your shoulders and tensing, anticipating a strike from the jedi master.

"Move Thea please, dont make me do this" you scoffed keeping your eyes on him as he poised his saber for another attack. Both of you prepared to do what must be done.

"Im not making you do anything, your doing it all on your own. Leave obi-wan. Its over, the orders dead. Just... just go" you hissed feeling the irritation grow with obi-wan. He couldnt see it! He was blinded by faith in an order that never was.

"You know i cant do that i cant walk away from this" the jedi master pleade, as if tryingnto make it seem as if his hands were truley tied. And that right there was the problem. The jedi order did this to people. Took away choices, forced decision onto people claiming it was for the greater good. When in actual fact it was just to protect the orders values. They belived that there was no other way, all other veiws were immoral. It was almost amusing the amount of hypocrisy the order spewed, the absolutes they enforced despite only sith deal in absolutes.

"Yes you can, just go. While you still can. I dont want to kill you but i will." Your words were almost pleading, yet too harsh to be considered as such. You needed him to just walk away.

"Youll really do this? Really stand by him? After what he has done! Join his madness?!" You winced as he tried to manipulate you, twisting the knife in the still raw open wound. Dredgeing up the worst atrocities Anakin had just commited to try and sway you. Did you agree with the younglings slaughter? No. Your not a monster. But whats done is done, and you knew Anakin would regret that untill the day he died. When he dropped out of what ever manic fury he was in the younglings will haunt him forever. Thats his burden, his punishment, his guilt to bare. Not yours.

"Yes. I wont abandon him when he needs me. I wont let him suffer alone. Not again" you called out louder then intended, you heard Anakins faint gasp as you confirmed your intentions. You felt his force signature lift from behinde you. Perking up with a warmth you knew to be his own relief and joy. He was happy you werent going to turn on him.

"You.. you love him. All this time you've been in love with him. Youll be sith fall into the darkside for him? This is why we dont love! This is the reason!" Obi-wan's words were small at first, doubtfull and confused. But quickly became frustrated accusations. You met his gaze and drew a breath choosing not to respond which made the jedi master snarl in frustration.

You had to look away from him, casting your eyes back to Anakin who had been torn between watching the scene before him and trying to ease his pain with deep breaths and force healing, that he wasnt exactly the best at.

But Anakin had heard, you wished he hadnt but he had. Looking up with a startled face, locking eyes with you questioning if it was true with a single gaze. You tore your eyes from him, fightened of what youd see in the next few moments. You didnt want him to know, didnt want him to see how far you had fallen. You were ashamed, your love was forbidden. But you loved your best friend, your comrade, brother. You loved a man who belonged to another. And it ate you alive.

"Dont you see? Dont you both see love feeds the darkness! It pushes jedi untill we are irrational and we fall untill we are sith;" Obi-wan began another rant, desperately trying to turn things around and scold you both into an epiphany. As if you both would suddenly stop holding people dear and your love would dissappear.

Obi-wans words seemed to be the final straw, he had found your tipping point. Scolding you like a child about pride and responsibility when he himself couldnt even admit the order had fucked up. That they had been cruel and negligent.

"I am not a jedi! I am not a sith! I am a fucking human being obi-wan. A free, thinking, feeling, angry, tired human being who has had just about enough of the orders propegander cultist shit!" Your scream echoed in the valley so loud it rendered the roar of mustafar almost silent in comparison. A small amount of your force rippled around you shifting the sand and rocks about your feet. Your rage had come to a boil, the darkness within you flickering awake. But you refused to stamp it out, refused to deny it this time.

"Thea.." the jedi master stepped back lowering his saber in shock as your aura darkened before him finally releasing what felt like a lifetime of pent up rage and fear. The fury and down right evil radiating from you was enough for him to rethink this battle. You were glorious and frightening to behold.

"Your right. Your right I love Anakin! I love you! I love padme and ahsoka and stars forbid i even hold a love for my master!" You continued shouting, loosing yourself in the truth of your own emotion. Welcoming the anger and frustration for the first time in your life. Finally, finally letting yourself drown in it.

"But i also hate. I hate master yoda for not listening to me when i sought reassurance, instead of helping me he gave me riddles and kept me silent. I hate that i was never allowed to question anything, i hate that i was expected to give up so much for so little. That my life would become meaningless just because i could use the force; it fucking condemned me! Condemned all of us!" Your words spewed like venom they were acidic on your tongue so much so you had to spit them out to so they wouldnt poison you further.

"I hate that i have become a fucking gaurd dog of the elite! That i spend my days protecting crooked senators instead of helping the civilians i vowed to protect and i loath; no detest the order and its stupid fucking rules, rules that were created out of fear" you clenched your saber tight in your fist untill the ridges of the hilt threatened to cut into your skin. You shook, quivered dragging sharp breaths through your teeth as your own words resounded around you. The fear, hate, shame and guilt youd always felt releasing at once in once torrent of regret.

"You dont know what your saying;"

"Yes i do! i said it and i meant it i hate the order. Hate it Obi-wan! And im fucking relived that this is the end of it because its needed to fucking die for years!" You shut him down quickly with a snarl, inching forward as another more powerful wave of your now tainted force escaped in yet another blast towards him despite you trying to hold it back. It was impossible, the air around you was charged with it. Crackling and twisting in an invisible violent display of power.

You closed your eyes pulling yourself back from what ever edge you were teetering on. Trying to calm yourself and draw some deep breaths. You didnt want to loose control, not like this but... but you didnt want to lie to yourself anymore or pretend. You were a human, you were entitled to feel your feelings.

Obi-wan watched in horror as your saber rattled in your hand, shuddering violently in your grip for a few long seconds untill it faltered. He felt sick to his stomach as the blade transformed before his eyes. Red seeped from the hilt, consuming the purple of your blade with greed. It was over, there was no coming back from that. Your kyber had absorbed the hate and malice. He coudlnt pull you from the dark side now. You were lost.

Even Anakin was shocked never seeing such a thing happen before. He knew how it happened but never once thought youd bleed your crystal. You were always so controlled and carefull with your saber and handling your kyber. Perhaps this was why? You were close to the dark and it wouldnt have taken much to slip and fall. What shocked him the most was that you hadnt even realised what youd done. Was it was so natural for you to feel this rage that you didnt even notice it properly? You didnt cast a second thought to what might happen to your kyber?

You began speaking again, this time clamer. But still on the cusp of pure unadulterated rage. The frightening female rage that could stop a man in his tracks with a single 'no' still oblivious to the new red hue of your blade.

"Between the hate, love and frustration most of all i am sick. Sick and tired of this galaxy and everyone in it trying to contain those gifted with the force. Just because the force chose us to wield it; doesnt mean we have to be fucking soldiers or pawns or or slaves to someone elses doctrines" you explained revealing just what you thought the jedi truley were. Slaves.

You heard Anakin from behind you, repeating the word gently in a strange disbelief. As if he himself had never associated the two. But you felt the realisation. The moment his own anger spiked before knosediving into a deep depressed disappointment. He had replaced slavery for slavery. And he'd never even noticed.

"You.. you have been straying? these? Thea how long has this...." obi-wan summarised, not even angry at you. How could he be? This was the orders failing. For a moment you thought you could see understanding. That he accepted the order hadnt just failed to understand and protect Anakin, but you aswell. How many others? How many jedi hated the order and were just too scared to sya it? How many people had stayed silent just so they could remain with their loved ones and not be exiled?

"Longer than him. As long as i can remember I..." your words trailed off. Once again shame and doubt cluding you. This was difficult, for the first timemyou were being honest with yourself, with obi-wan and Anakin. It was daunting letting everything out like this, feeling true emotions willingly. Youd been trained not to, itgoes against everything youve been brought up to belive.

"Thea? Why did you never say anything?" Anakin called from behind you finally managing to stand and breath through the pain, all be it unsteady and lopsided, his uninjured arms curled below his burned one.

"I couldnt. I never wanted to admit it... anakin you? Had your own doubts if I'd said something? I didnt want anyone to know my real thoughts. Or influence you." You uttered slowly still coming down from your rage, inching yourself back into a calmer state of mind. Somehow your outburst had stopped the raging war between the jedi master and Knight.

Or maybe obi-wan wasnt attacking because he knew itd be useless. A master jedi would struggle taking on one dark side user, let alone two. It was clear both you and Anakin had embraced your afinty for the dark side to certain degrees. You were both unpredictable now and obi-wan probably wouldnt best you both.

You tried to ingor the flutter of pride, you made a jedi master question his own strength and resolve. It wasnt a stretch to say he might even fear battleing you now youd begun your decent into the so called darker aspects of the force

"There is only the force and it is grey. It is balance, but it is power and we all use it to gain victory. The force is blameless and we are all manipulators. Thats it. Nothing else you either use it or you dont. Everything in the force can be used for good or evil." Anakin hummed pondering the words in a very un-anakin like way. He never seemed one for deep thinking or philosophical nonsense. But he seemed to be taking in your points weighing them up against one another.

"Dont you see obi-wan we twisted it, us. We made it what it is and use the force as an excuse to control one another. And if you force me to choose between slavery in the light and freedom in the dark?" You turned from Anakin and began pleading for your friend and teacher to understand your point. He had to, even if he didnt like it or agree you had to make him know of your reasoning. That you werent ust an evil woman driven by a need for power and vengeance.

"I choose the dark, just like Anakin. And honestly i chose it long ago... i was just scared of loosing what was most important to me. Scared to break the chains" you glanced to Anakin again unable to keep your self from checking on him. You were worried, concered and anxious to see if he was angry or disgusted by the way you felt about him. But he didnt give any indication, he was lost innhis own thoughts and didnt seem to aware of what was going on in that moment.

But then again he was probably overwhelmed. In the last few hours he'd betrayed the jedi, stormed the temple, slaughtered the younglings and jedi, almost killed padme and his unborn, fought his master, almost been burned alive and then had to deal with your hidden feelings coming to light.

"Thea please;" obi-wan tried again holding out his hand to you, trying to offer you a path back into whats left of the jedi. And it felt like the final attempt. He looked conflicted and exhausted.

You shook your head and stepped back as if he was trying to poison you. And in a way he was, he wanted to draw you into something youd only just managed to truely escape. He was still a slave he just couldnt see it. You pitied him in a way. He was too far gone and would never ever be free.

"No. I wont warn you again kenobi. You need to Leave now. And do not seek us out again" your voice didnt waver. You didnt flinch or stutter. Though the strength was just a mask. Inside you were crumbling, it shouldnt have come to this. The order should have just faded away like all relics of the past. But the jedi were greedy in their own way, stubborn. They refused to change, belived there was no need to ever compromise and for that hubris they had paid dearly.

Obi-wan didnt say anything, what could he say as you severed every connection you had with him. Every familiarity gone in a instant. He flicked his gaze from you to anakin and back again before disengaging his lightsaber and backed away. And then he was gone, falling out of sight behind the dunes.

You stayed alert until, you saw the ship take off and felt you and anakin were alone. Only then did you finally disengage your own saber and relax, collapsing to your knees taking a moment to come to terms with what had just happened. You were out. Free, free to feel and love and hate, free to decide whats best for you, live on your own terms with your own beliefs.

Tears began streaming down your face. This wasnt what you thought itd be, wasnt what you feared. Where was the shame? The terror and guilt? You were supposed to be lost and alone now. But all you felt was relief and strong. You felt peace yet a chaos, powerfull. You felt bold. It was everythingnyou were told it wasnt. You heard anakin shuffle behind you and then a gruntal moan as he fell heavily to the floor next to you. That snapped you out of your trance, you can reorder your feelings later, for now he needed you.

"Fuck, fuck are you okay? Here lets get away from all this lava, come on up here, let me see." You began quickly assessing him while trying to usher him futher up the bank. He swore under his breath pushing at you hands as you tired to support him. It was slow going but you managed to help half drag him higher moving him away from the rushing lava river that nearly killed him.

"Hey talk to me..." your voice grew quiet as the silence dragged on becoming uncomfortable and tense. But he just stared at you, yellow eyes burning into you trying to figure something out. Like you were a puzzle for him to pull apart.

"You... saved me from the lava... you pulled me free before....and protected me. You chose to stay?" He finally spoke confusion lacing his words. For a moment you thought he was going into some pain induced delirium or shock syndrom. He was both questioning you and doubting himself. Yet at the same time reaffirming what had happened.

"Yes. I did... Are you okay? Anakin your scaring me;" you confirmed before trying to find out if he was feeling like himself. You needed to lnow if he was going to turn and attack you or not. You had to be ready, he may have dropped his saber but youd seen what he'd done to padme without it. You didnt want to be the next one on his list.

"Anakin is dead." He snarled, sharp and furious. It was manic he was desperate to distance himself from who he once was. You drew a breath nodding to him, raising your hands slowly in a surrendering motion as you felt his force swirl around him erratically smothering you in a thickening cloak of raw power.

"W-who has taken his place?" You tried not to fear the answer, fear him. But he was glareing at you so intensely it almost physically hurt.

"Vader. Darth vader." You flinched, swallowing dryly. So it was true, he wasnt just becoming a dark jedi, but a sith. A true sith apprentice, one day a sith lord like the old tales. But you managed to take it in your stride simply nodding along with him.

"And what is darth vader going to do? I-is he; are you going kill me? Now that obi-wan is gone and the jedi are being eradicated" with that he relaxed. The acceptance soothed him, his rage receded as if he understood you werent going to argue or harm him. You felt an overwhelming sadness at that. He was so defensive and vulnerable yet youd never noticed before. He didnt reply the silence was deafening, you could only assume the worse.

"It okay vader... its okay of you need to; just at least let me help fix you up first alright?" You reassured him holding back tears. You knew this was a possibility. Knew he might kill you anyway to truly set himself free of the order. And you were willing to do that for him, to die for him to release himself from the shackles of the order.

"Thank stars its your right at least you wont lose another hand, well youll need a new prostetic and your shoulders fucked for now but we can;" you continued babbling trying not to think as you began healing him slowly, carfully letting your force flow through you to at least sooth his pain. He stared the whole time gazing almost blankly at you. Not evern hissing or flinching as you worked over the burns.

"Were you telling the truth?" His voice carried a vulnerable lilt to it. Like a child asking a parent if they were truly forgiven after being naughty. It was a small voice one youd never heard him use before. You stopped what you were doing and sat straighter giving him your undivided attention, yet it was you who felt like you were under a microscope.

"Is what you said true? About the order... the dark. Your feelings... your love?" He struggled to voice the words aloud but had to. And just like he had to ask you knew you had to answer.

"Yes. I havent ever truly cared for the order, but i did fear them. I stayed because i had people i was afraid of losing" you looked down still feeling shame. It was so ingrained into you that everything you thought and felt was wrong you could'nt help but be nervous revealing it so intimately.

"But eventually you have to be true to yourself and accept it. Even if it means getting yourself killed. If thats the case I'll die free and honest" you summarised tryingnto let him know you understood and you were at peace with your impending demise, especially if that ps what he needed.

"And your love? Was that a truth you had to face? The thing you couldnt lose...The person you were afraid of losing?" He asked again this time more desperate. He raised a hand to yours, clasping your wrist tightly and pulling it from his wounds. You closed your eyes sighing.

"Im here arent I?" You chuckled nervously motioning around you. Trying to deflect and make him assume what he wanted to save yourself the embarrassment. But he shook his head a growling at you in frustration, irritated at your refusal to answer him directly.

"No. Thea I need to hear you say it. I need to know the truth. Tell me." His frustration rose and his grip grew tighter making you wince. Your eyes searched his, pleading for him to let this go. Whats the point in pouring your heart out to him now?

His gaze was stern, brows pinched and jaw set firm, twitching in anger as the seconds slowly ticked away in silence as you continued your staring match. Finally you gave in looking away afterall you didnt have to look at him to bare your soul to him.

"Say what? That ive been madly inlove with you since i was a child? That i didnt understand what it was untill it was too late? That i adore you? That i always pushed myself harder and harder just so i could keep up with you and we wouldn't be separated? So i could be there if you ever needed me? That i could be strong enough to save you if you needed it?" You managed to wokr up the courage to look at him and gently twisted your hand from his grip and raised one slowly to his face. Cupping his jaw softly. He closed his eyes pressing into your palm, twisting slightly nuzzling into you enjoying the soft comfort.

"Yes. Yes to all the above. I love you and it has always terrified me like nothing else in the world. I was told so many times by my master by yoda and everyone who noticed that i was wrong. That it was dangerous and itd destroy me but i didnt care. I love you An-Vader;" you stopped yourself short and pulled away from him before you broke down. You felt like your chest was in a vice, being crushed. Your stomach was churning unsettled by the mix of fear and warmth you were feeling. It felt unnatural to just be human and experience your own emotions without resisting.

Vader followed your hand unconsciouly before capturing himself. Frowning in disappointment as the soothing touch fell away from him. He let you retreat knowing you you needed to distance yourself to get this off your chest once and for all. He was prepared for tears, and frustration and cursing. But he wasnt ready for the dark turn your words took.

"Fuck i even pulled clovis aside and threatened to skin him alive when he started to interfere; and i wasnt bluffing i was going to do it. I had a plan on how i was going to get away with it too. i scared him and myself. i couldnt find it in myself to be jealous of padme or resent her becasue i just wanted you to be happy. And if her love made you happy that was enough for me" your words pulled your force,making it thrum once more igniting under the surface with an eager malice as you remebered the fear. The promise you made to clovis as he trembled at the thoughts you were pushing into him. Youd gone too far that day. You knew you had, forcing him to see his own torture in his minds eye. It wasnt the jedi way. Youd avoided him after that. Not wanting to relive it, far too frightend of your own commitment to your threat. Youd have done it. Youd do anything for Anakin.

"She didnt, she never actually;" Vader began speaking searching for the words to explain himself. As much as he didnt want to belive it he knew there was only one explination for padme's refusal. He wasnt enough. His love and devotion wasnt enough to keep her by his side. He trembled, lip quivering as he turned to look you in the eye and finally with a shaky breath he admitted outloud what you both knew to be true.

"She has betrayed me. She wouldnt come with me y/n. In the end she didnt want me enough. I did everything for her. All this for her and she abandoned me her love wasnt enough to stand by me." He broke down, he didnt understand. Didnt want to, the pain was too much. He had sacrificed everything for her survival. And he sees now it was in vain. He'd been living a lie for her and she didnt see what it had done. What she had cost him. What he was willing to pay for her to be safely by his side.

You inched closer as he crumbled, mouring his love. His loss, his failure. It cut you, twisted cold knives in your gut. How? How could she have done this? Didnt she see what there marriage had cost them? Cost Anakin. No. How could she? Padme was free, she had nothing to lose. To her she had a powerful, respected ,handsome husband who she could have exciting secret couplings with when ever she wished. She got to run around in her own exciting forbbiden romance reality.

Yet Anakin could have lost everything he had worked for . All his years of blood sweat and tears would have been for nothing. He'd have lost his home,family, freinds, job his entire world would have crumbled around him if he'd been caught. And in the end he gave it all up willingly, falling from grace so thoroughly just to save her life. And it wasnt enough.

"But you didnt run... you didnt abandon me..your feelings are real, they have to be" you were pulled out of your thoughts by him grasping you, his hand coming to your cheek. You gasped as he pushed forward fingers trailing down to your jaw thumb lightly, ghosting your lower lip and then with a languid twist his fingers rose once more to settle on your cheek again.

Its was like he was mapping out your features. Fascinated and in awe. You blinked at him speechless from the delicate feather light touches. He'd never done anything like this before. His eyes became haunting as the yellow shrunk giving way to his puplis that grew wider. It was like he were seeing you for the first time, releasing the tight grip on his own restraint. Just as you were about to break the silence he spoke again, this time softer.

"You... you just threw away everything for me. Risked everything to protect me, just as i did for her. You truly love me. More then the others; more then my own wife. Im sorry, sweet angel im so so sorry i never saw it before." He apologised slidingmhis hand to cup the back of your neck and tipped forward pressing his own forehead to yours.

"I will not forsake you as she has done me. Do you hear me? I will not, i swear to you Thea. Come with me. Join me" the vow caught you off gaurd. This was something you only dreamt of. A fantasy youd kept in secret. He closed his eyes arching up pressing a kiss to your head inching closer and pulled you to rest on his collar bone. His arm now dropping to coil around you as best as they could with the damage done to his prostetic. You leant into him letting yourself curl into him, closing as much space as you could between the two of you.

"Join me? Please? We can... we can build something. Be something greater than what we were designed to be. Make an empire that will bring peace, that will punish the wicked greed festering in the galaxy" you shuddered feeling a sob bubble up. The guilt and elation both clashing in an overwhelming storm of emotion youd never been allowed to experience before. Tears began flowing once more as you tried to latch onto something familiar, something comforting. But there was nothing, it was all brand new and frightening.

"But what about Padme? Arent you going to try and convince her again? Or sidious? He will kill me im not strong enough to join him he'd never;" your words were mumbled, sentences torn apart by weak sobs and soft sniffles. You were desperately trying to find some stability, some comfort in all the chaos. And you were most comfortable when denying yourself everything youd ever truly wanted.

"Padme is not my concern any longer. Its time i stopped kidding myself, she showed where her loyalties lie. She was willing to let me; the so called love of her life, her husband, the father to her child; die at the hands of obi-wan becuase i chose another more powerful path" You shook your head disagreeing in mumbled hlf sobs weeping into him still unable to really understand what he was saying, you heard the words but it didnt register. You didnt want to risk believing them incase this was a trick, a ruse to ruin you completely.

"You were not. You who has been by my side, and loved me in secret. You stood up against obi-wan to protect me, thats the loyalty and courage a true wife should have. I will not ignore that sacrifice" he said louder, a grit to his voice determination and authority pouring from him. He wanted you to listen. To truly listen and see this for what it was. This was the defining moment of both your lives. The moment you both truly found oneanother and began walking the same path, marching towards a future that would give the both of you everything youd ever wanted and needed.

He honestly belived that both of you had been drifting through this life, mearly exsisting waiting for this moment where the force finally unites you both. He could feel it now, see clearly for the first time in years. The sleepless nights, doubts and fear of his own desires and marriage came to an end and al. He knew was that this was where he had meant to be. Here with you standing on the dawn of a new era for the galaxy.

"Sidious will not harm you. I will not allow that. You are loyal to me. You are mine. And i will fight to,protect you as you have fought for me today." His words poured, hands grasping you tighter as you cried still weakly holding onto the past. Your own doubt and fear clouding your resolve. He hated it. The way you crumbled so completely into him, you were strong. Always so strong but here and now you were lost and overwhelmed. It was down to him to pull you through. To guide you back and show you your place amongst all the changes.

"But im a jedi; vader dont... dont toy with me. I know you need to kill me and its okay. Its okay, im ready. I knew; you dont have to;"

"You are no longer a jedi. Look. Your saber...see?" He cut you off quickly, a snarl. Then he let out a breath before tipping his head to your saber and explained gently. You frowned at him before leaning to the saber youd discarded beside the both of you as you slumped to the ash. With a quick look to Vader you ignighted your saber only to yelp and drop it as soon as the red glow shone from the hilt.

"Oh... oh stars what?" You blreathed out fear and shame flushing through you. Vader moved bringing the saber between you both again ingiteing it again needing you to face the reality of your new predicament.

"You bled it Thea. Somehow while your kyber was still sat inside your saber. I haven't even managed to bleed mine yet. But you? It seemes you have been much closer to the dark side than me for a while" he hummed flicking his gaze from your awe struck face and the now red saber. It was odd seeing one so close without being attacked. It was raw, powerful. He could feel the rage and distress from within it, he knew he was feeling your own discontent through the hilt. But at the same time there was almost a relief? You were at peace with the red kyber. There was an understanding. He could only assume youd been fighting it for a long time.

"I think that is what made obi-wan retreat. He realised you were serious and willing to do what ever it took. That you meant every word and if he had stayed he would be fighting a powerful woman with no jedi rules to follow" he pondered outloud still watching you trying to decipher your thoughts. He could see how this was a moral dilemma. You seemed to return to him from the shock and gave a half smile taking the saber from him with a lightly nod and clipped it to your belt.

"He feared for his life and ran" he smirked as you scoffed at that rolling your eyes at him. He released a breath he didnt realise he'd been holding as you seemed to have gatherd yourself together with an odd acceptance.

"Once i have gained the knowledge i need i will end sidious and We shall rule. You and me Thea. The jedi order and all those who stand in our way will fall;that is if you want to join me? Become the force wielder you were born to be" he ducked down following your eyes as they dipped away from him, his uninjured hand tipping your chip up once more. You flicked your eyes to his, the amber was almost golden and shone with a sincere pleading. He was being honest.

"Become the woman you were meant to be. Im asking you take this final step with me please. Come with me, serve me, stand beside me; where you belong take your place along side me and rule. Will you help me make them all pay?" You swallowed whimpering quietly lowering your eyes to your saber resting in your lap and then locked eyes with him again. What was there to lose now? You had nothing now. Nothing but the freedom to choose.

"Yes of course i will. Id do anything for you" you managed to speak through the thickening lump in your throat, managing to push through the emotional whirlwind that encased the two of you.

"And i you. Perhaps it is not too late for us, maybe we can both finally break our chains and find the true love we have always craved"

"Dont say things like that, you love padme and that wont change. And thats okay Vader." you grunted into him still weakly trying to deny what had just happened. Still convinced that Vader was lost in his own feelings and hurt by his wife. Refusing his love for her out of spite.

"You love many people, why would you think im any different. I have always held you close to my heart. I do love you, i thought i loved padme more. But... I was young and foolish, you were jedi and untouchable she wasnt. I loved you enought o never risk you, yet i didnt do the same with her. Maybe i was wrong?" He sighed pondering hos own reasoning and short comings. Maybe he should have giving things more thought before jumping the gun the way he had. He would admit after his marriage hed been torn, happy to have a slice of normality but felt an uncomfortable pain when he'd watched your face drop at the news.

"Fuck anakin really must be dead. He's never been wrong before" you laughed slapping at him playfully. He grunted pushing you back making you fall back into the ash calling you a brat.

"Oh thank god theres still some sass in there, for a second there i though vader was going to be a boring old fart" you both chuckled at that and for a second there was nothing else. No responsibilities, no betrayal no jedi of sith. It was just the two of you chuckling at your own antics as youd done so many times a children. Before everything real and pure had been stolen away and twisted for someone elses gains.

"Come. We should go he isnt patient" vader spoke glancing up the ridge as he felt Sidious approach looking down the bank to the both of you. He stood with a grunt dragging you up beside him with useing the force. You gasped lightly at the way his life force acquainted itself with you in a new familiarity. It was forbidden to use the force this way, touching carelessly could cause unbreakable force bonds, your own life forces could mingle and become reliant on one another. It was almost seen as rude and obscene to let your force touch someone else outside of healing and battle.

You eyed him flushing but said noting, instead shyly opened yourself up to him as you both began to climb up the bank towards sidious. You felt unsure as you followed vader, but you trusted him. Sidious might not have wanted you but... would he real1ly deny another corrupted jedi? Your answer came as you approuched him, he peered around vader to you and his face lit up into a sinister grin. He nodded eyes glinting with glee, it would seem he was pleased with his two for one deal.

"Come, let's get both of your injuries tended to and then we can discuss our next objectives" you relaxed visibly at that before letting Sidious lead you both away. You weren't sure what was going to come next, and selfishly you didn't care. All you knew was for the first time in your life, you'd made the choice. And you will stay beside Vader for along as he allowed you to. You will not turn your back on him. Not now, not ever.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Im surprised so many ppl think that belos's vision of caleb in for the future is actually his ghost. Death is pretty final in toh and theres never been any talk of being able to speak to the dead via ghosts. Even the ghostly spirits used in oracle magic are glowy mindless monsters and dont look like someone who could have actually been alive at one point.

I personally think its much more meaningful if caleb and the other golden guards werent ghosts but just imagined by belos. Hes been trying to bring back caleb ever since he killed him and it kind of defeats the purpose if calebs ghost has actually been there the whole time. Each grimwalker he kills is a tragedy. A poor kid with his life ruined and then cut short bc belos couldnt heal hundreds of years ago. They were never able to find a better life for themselves and many died without knowing why belos killed them. For them to get closure with the previous golden guards and caleb after death takes away from the tragedy of it all.

And ofc theres something very emotional about belos imagining everything. Whether its because he feels guilty over what hes done to caleb and the guards, or if he just misses them sometimes, or whatever, that emotion is so strong that he can never stop seeing them. Whether caleb would have forgiven phillip after all that doesnt matter anymore. Phillip sure didnt know his brother well enough by the end to know. Same with the golden guards, but belos never cared to know their feelings in the first place. But belos thinks that they must be furious at him. Thats why caleb and the guards appear the way they do: gaunt and disheveled and silent because belos knows what he did without them saying anything.

Calebs story has been lost to time. Most of the golden guards have been forgotten too. In fact not many people ever differentiated between them in the first place. But belos? No matter how hard he tries, belos will NEVER let himself forget.