#didnt mean to go up on my soapbox

[mossterunderthebed]

Y'know what honestly frustrates me about the JJK fandom?

When people make stuff that's like JJK 0 Gojo and Getou talking or whatever, and it's like Getou being totally deadpan about all the horrible things he's doing/going to do/believes in *insert various types of wholesale murder here* and Gojo just laughs along, treating it like it's a joke and Getou's so cute and funny.

Like, no.

Gojo did NOT indulge Getou's philosophy. That was The Whole Point.

What do you think the whole encounter on the street in front of a random KFC was about? That's why there was such a deep divide between them. That's why Gojo was furious and disbelieving. That's why they didn't see or talk to each other for TEN YEARS even thought they were best friends.

Because Getou killed people, chose to kill people, and chose to keep killing people. Because he dehumanized an entire, MASSIVE group of people who were good, bad, kind, cruel, and everything in between, men, women, children, everyone, simply because of something they couldn't help and didn't even know about. Because he took advantage of those that Gojo had decided and felt duty-bound- even though he didn't like it much- to protect.

(And all that came BEFORE Geotu ever stepped into the picture. Yeah, Gojo whines about having to protect the weak and admittedly thinks it's a drag, but he still does it. He was raised with the ideal that he should do it.

That wasn't a Getou thing. Getou believing in that as a teenager did change the way Gojo saw it, but it wasn't New. He already was raised that way, believed that way, and intended to live that way, or why go to Jujutsu High at all? Even if he found it annoying, he was still always going to become a sorcerer, not only because it was kind of his only option- which is it's own kind of horrible- but because he was a sorcerer, down to his bones.

He had that madness in him, and maybe it was nurtured, but that doesn't change the fact that it was there. He wanted to be a sorcerer, loved fighting and killing curses, whether it had anything to do with helping others or not.)

I know it's just fanart and fandom, and look, I myself really like art of Gojo and Getou in their good days. They were kids and they were happy. While I don't ship them, they were best friends, and their own kind of soulmates, I've never not believed that, it's too forking obvious. Gege practically shoves it down our throats and literally designed them to balance each other and be Messed Up Forever when they split. Every official art we see of the two of them practically has them as each other's reflections. I know, okay? I can't not know.

I just get really frustrated when Gojo's disregarded like that. He is his own person with his own beliefs who's made his own choices. They both are. And maybe it's dumb to get up in arms about a story that's not even real, but Gojo's a really imperfect person who struggles and suffers, and at the end of the day? He tries his best.

Even with all the power in the world, he's still only human. He can still only do so much. He's expected to be more than he is a lot of the time, and still he really tries. He wants to make the world better. He wants to make life better for the next generation. He has, in a way, given up on himself, but he's still going, because he knows his place in the world is still one that needs filling.

That's a narrative that means a lot to me. It's disheartening when it's misinterpreted because of the fun, silly, giggly side of his personality, or the reckless, careless, cocky side, both of which are wonderfully, excruciatingly human.

That's all.

[fiuworks]

MAGPRIDE!!

hi yall!! ive just about recovered from a hectic day at london pride (very awesome, i got barricade for the parade for most of it, my throat hurts from cheering it was very good) and i thought about the archives having a fun day at pride too because my brain is rotted (also these r just my headcanons please don't whack me for these or what you think i should believe (outside the objective canon truth) i beg) (also i didnt colorpick some of these so .)

while i have you, please make sure to do your daily clicks at arab.org, please PLEASE consider donating to a gofundme on the Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet (will link both below) and remember that just speaking out and using your platform and voice, however small, will make a big change! remember: pride is a protest! never forget the difference we could make as a community! it is the LGBTQIA+ community that has stood up in the past to fight for equality, and we can keep going as we mean to go on!

if you'll just allow me to get on my soapbox a bit about pride:

i've only been to one pride previously in 2019 and didnt go again because of covid and other things, so this is the first proper time ive been out to pride with freinds freshly graduated settled in my trans and queerness bla bla and it was just absolutely amaaazing....just to witness so many kinds of people marching for a common sense of unity was so brilliant! you also get to see how much of your community is spread through institutions that often take us for granted like the NHS to name one, or how queer people are fighting for healthcare- i saw so many marching squads for so many medical causes, and what warmed my heart was that there were so many community elders marching in the parade, and what have you! there were also little squads for residential areas and stuff and it was so refreshing to see a city usually so divided come together........weeehhh

just to see it made me feel weepy after i had taken a moment to get home and decompress- it's really another thing entirely to feel like you really do belong somewhere! in the words of one of my favourite songs- do try to make a little birdhouse in your soul for your people- get people together! spread culture! promote diversity! advocate for causes! love! cheer! hug! i love you!!!

[breserker]

saw ur tags on my post! you’re completely right, i literally wrote my end in like 2 minutes and im a little miffed that ppl missed the point of what im saying to go “mhm gay dudes hate women”. i made that post after seeing someone say “i dont care for women in stories because im gay i cant relate to them” and it made me kinda mad, but this fandom misogyny trend has been from literally every corner of the internet. all that to say that youre correct and your tags reach the problem better than my post does lol

oh hello! yeah dont worry im no stranger to writing something up quick and on the internet losing the soapbox to elaborate once it flies off into peoples feeds. and its like, the gay dude interpretation is not wrong! literally THE nonwhite gay dude who has a problem with female characters i was thinking of was my brother. but then the broader point you were getting at got like absolutely buried by people taking the slimmest margin of interpretation and running with it with no self reflection.

one of the reasons i almost didnt reblog is posts like that get wrapped up in listing a bunch of female characters which ive participated in before but that also is starting to feel like running with the core concept without reflection. inevitably i dont think listing does that much (although it is fun) which doesnt address the problems, which means more people get frustrated and write more posts trying to explain hey no this is a Problem problem that cant be solved by "look at all the female characters i love therefore i cant possibly be part of the problem". not to get a load of this society, but society and culture is an interactive sport and even I have my internalized misogynies that I have to deal with because curiously and regrettably i participate in society and am not immune to its misogynistic whims.

[maguneedsalife]

T'zekhwalker - Final Zenos Fight

i spent so much time here it needed its own post. i'd be lying if i said this one scene wasn't a main reason i pushed t'zekh through the main story (the other was i wanted him to get to 90/get the rdm artifact gear so he could wear his canon glam but you know)

so, some background for folks who are new here: t'zekh was the main wol for stormblood. he was the one zenos became obsessed with, and he has spent most of endwalker trying to get zenos to leave him alone. he knows zenos desperately wants t'zekh to kill him--to come at him with fire and rage and bloodlust--but t'zekh refuses to kill anyone no matter how much they deserve it.

i had been waiting so long for t'zekh to be able to do this dialog choice and the answer i had envisioned for him actually changed from the time i did this with aoife. originally i'd thought he'd go with option 2, but by the time i got here, 3 was more his style.

which ended up being a good thing, because zenos's response to that answer was fucking perfect for t'zekh

small aside--it drove me bonkers back when spoiler embargo first lifted and ppl (mostly on twitter) were INSISTING that answer 1 was the only possible canon answer and if you picked any of the others you were clearly playing the game wrong. even despite yoshi p confirming that there was no "correct" answer and the team had tried to write it so that players could respond to zenos the way they felt best reflected their own character's experience. people were STILL out there like "sorry but if you didnt pick option 1 you're just wrong"

so to see the text validate my choice and my hcs so perfectly has me feeling vindicated in this chilis. it is okay for people to have a different experience of the game than you!!! (i'll get off my soapbox now)

option 3 was perfect for t'zekh because he is finally fed up enough with zenos that he's finally willing to cast aside his moral opposition to killing in order to make sure zenos can't hurt anyone else in his name.

and zenos caught on to that and responded in kind.

anyway then i took a fucktillion pictures in the instance (most of which i'll put on my wol blog)

it was so hard to get them in the same frame lmao

and then i did the solo fight! not too bad on red mage, surprisingly enough - was very thankful to have vercure though lmao

this punch is still just as satisfying the second time

On my way to the last credits sequence i learned that you will actually fuck up the music timing if you skip or speed up the credits. it was playing revenge twofold when it was supposed to be playing flow together. that was very jarring. i don't know why they haven't set it to just start playing flow together for that sequence. dont skip the credits folks

and that's a wrap! i uhhh might have abandoned him before finishing out the quest so i could go farm memoria misera with aoife but im very happy to have (technically) beaten Endwalker with him before the year ended, which was one of my goals.

I think I started main story with him in January, so it's taken me about a year to get through... mostly what set me back was i had to make time/build emotional strength to make progress through parts I knew would be difficult emotionally. But I committed to not to skipping any cutscenes and just pressing on through a second read, and I'm glad to have embarked on this journey.

as soon as i finished endwalker the first time i knew it was going to be equally aoife and t'zekh's story. they both ended up having stakes in the plot in different ways, and getting to play through and see things from t'zekh's perspective was so much fun.

i still keep thinking abt the version of the ending in my head, wherein t'zekh is lying at the edge of the universe and all he can think is "i want to live, dammit!!"

and he hears a voice calling out to him.

"there you are!" aoife shouts, "I was looking all over for you!"

T'zekh has spent so much of the story kind of in aoife's shadow, grappling with what it means to be a "hero" in his own way. he spent a lot of stormblood resenting her absence.

but by the end of endwalker… i think they end up really close friends

---

Next, it'll be Banri's turn.... skipping as many cutscenes as possible so i can get him through before Dawntrail!

[thefeathereddragon]

“Classic Sims players, always ungrateful”

Shut up lol. I love the Sims, and appreciate that they are still implementing new things in the game. Some people spend hundreds of dollars to have all or just even half the DLC, some of us have thousands of hours logged. Maybe we take a couple months to take a break, and coming back to meaningful updates is glorious.

But we are ABSOLUTELY allowed to be disappointed! The log in event was great because i was struggling mentally and didnt have the energy to play but i love free content, wanted to show my support so i did. Now that we have to play the game and follow the prompts? It’s understandable from their POV. However, the reaper rewards were so bugged, some of the rewards refused to pop and I’d have to do it all over, my game kept getting hung up and all of a sudden perfectly happy Sims would be starving, pissing themselves, and passed out in their puddle. (I play on console, everything is updated, and usually runs fine.) im not even going to bother with the festive reward event. Not for the same wreath three different times and a bush/hedge that could have been a pallet swatch. (I mean really why do none of the plants have a festive version?)

The community is bristling with amazing ideas. I can see myself coming back to the Sims and franchise for the rest of my life, even when they eventually decide to stop making new content for it. So what’s wrong with expressing disappointment when it’s warranted? If anything it helps them brainstorm and keeps the fanbase engaged, especially when we feel heard and valued.

Anyways thanks for coming to my soapbox. I hope the next Sims game is another Castaways. 😅🫶🏻

[sovpologist]

hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

[maggotmouth]

      rises from the dead like mushu hullo it’s nora ( gmt, she/her) n i’m sorry didnt do my intro yesterday, i woke up in a bath, happy new year. anyway bridget is a mess, the angsty socialist leftie liberal who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about immigration or the welfare state or the pay gap. very talkative n bubbly, carefree but also.... cares too much. always in docs but only the vegan ones. usually in a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. 

heres a pinboard. everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll smash that im button for plots x

it might be HER SOPHOMORE year but I still think BRIDGET MATUSIAK looks exactly like MARGARET QUALLEY and sometimes I think the FEMALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re TWENTY and studying FILM while living in FIDELIS here at Lockwood. The ARIES can be rather CANDID and GARRULOUS, but also kind of FICKLE and ERRATIC. Their most played song on Spotify was NOBODY REALLY CARES IF YOU DON’T GO TO THE PARTY by COURTNEY BARNETT, so I think that says a lot.

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things had a way of circling back, that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, poka-dot nylon pulled down to her ankles.

her parents met in high school. her mother alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not.

i say they met in high school, bridget’s dad wasn’t actually in school, they met at the high school. he was the father to a girl down the road. alice knew nothing of the girl besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. soon the pitter patter of tiny feet sounded along the hall of the home for wayward women, alice’s parents having thrown her out as soon as they knew a child was growing in her womb.

gilly (referred to as junior) was born two years later, the son of a mechanic and handyman named gilbert “gilly” senior, who - while a slow-witted man – was likable enough. alice, gilly bridget & junior lived in a colorado trailer park and whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of exhausts.  was raised in a workshop basically.

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was twelve, leaving gil to adopt the two as legal guardian and raise them in the forge. she’s lived with gilly ever since. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors.

used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in third world countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so.... and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone.

aesthetic: cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. a long green trench coat with loads of badge pins for alt-rock bands and independent films. red denim jacket, also covered in badges n pins. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides styler or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

hypersexual and kinda manic-depressive (though not diagnosed) probs bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she started life in a house that was literally designed to rehabilitate “fallen women” and she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparesnts refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist ad hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at ralleys. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

working two jobs to pay for uni currently !! works at the bowling alley polishing the shpes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also is a burger flipper at mcdonalds. a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who’s like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than fixing bowling lanes — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, melancholic.

an awful person, really

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, here are some plot ideas i stole, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!

[just-folie-a-deux-it]

hey, sorry about asking for mcr related stuff, i didnt know youve said before you dont write it, really. also yeah, FAQ stuff could be cool? like for new people who come around and stuff (and me bc im stupid). sorry one more time, and you didnt come off as angry, dw!! i understand that youre not so much into mcr anymore (and i really hope other people do too)

You aren’t stupid at all!!! I’ve been meaning to put a page up about FAQ and stuff but a.) I’m lazy as hell and busy and b.) I don’t know how to add my pages on mobile??? 

I’m so glad you didn’t think I’m upset with you thank god I really didn’t want you to think I was going off on your personally, it was just relevant so I used your ask as my soapbox lmao but yes thank you for understanding!!!! That whole thing is lowkey complicated so I just try to sum it all up as ‘Don’t send me MCR stuff plz’. I hope you have a nice day!!

[this-is-a-witty-url]

oh yeah. i said i was gonna talk about the stage door drama at kinky boots. cause there was some things i observed that kind of pissed me off. i just didnt get to it caues loladulting

tl;dr: the root problem was his team and the theater.

i had no intentions on trying to get a signature after i saw the madhouse of a crowd on saturday night, after the first show i attended. with brendon not signing anything and then hearing reports that even the actors themselves weren’t coming out to sign because of how crazy the crowds were, i was like. nah. im good. took an uber back to penn station and left. 

i found out that the cast did not even come out that night because of a cast party and were too, uh, tired and potentially shit faced. which was cool and all. but the show ended at 10:30 and people stood out there till way past midnight which was like, wow, two hours? and i think brendon did come out but he just ran to the car and that was it. but two hours for that was like, uh, they should have just canceled it.

on sunday, the last day for brendon and the second time i saw the performance, i accidentally ended up in the crowd at the stage door. now this is a pretty easy mistake to make if you’re not paying attention on where you’re exiting out that theater. i saw an opening and thought that it was a clear exit to leave the theater because there was just so many people gathered outside and i wanted to avoid them. besides, i was meeting a friend i had not seen in years and he was waiting for me across the street. 

i ended up directly in the crowd for the stage door greetings. i wasn’t allowed to just leave through that way cause security had it barricaded, and more and more people were gathered so it was like this sardine can of people gathered at the door waiting for brendon (and the actors). 

zack came out in one of the kinky boots used in the show and made an announcement that brendon would be coming out in 30 minutes. he wouldn’t be signing anything but that he’d be out. i was like, okay, i’m here i can deal with 30 minutes. zack went back in. cool.

young charlie and young simon/lola came out and signed a bunch of stuff. sweet kids, really. then they left with their families. the actor who played don came out and took a lot of time out with the crowds taking selfies and stuff. cool dude, nice of him to do that. the lead actress who played lauren also came out to sign stuff. 

but that was it. everyone else had left through another side door away from the crowds like immediately after the show and no one knew about it. there were people in the crowd wanting the signatures from more of the star players in the show and were pretty bummed out that did not happen.

but: back to brendon

thirty minutes turned into forty minutes. no brendon. now, we thought that brendon was being held up because of meet and greets. but we learned that brendon was the only cast member that day not participating in the meet and greets so it couldn’t have been that. so, zack comes out, says brendon is gonna be out in a bit.

we’re already waiting like 50 minutes at this point. crowd was getting anxious; parents were getting upset. i was standing next to a man who brought his 13 and 15 year old daughters to the show and they love brendon and they were running late. like if they didn’t catch the bus to the airport they were going to miss their flight. he was getting really pissed off.

another parent standing next me, who was also there last night with her daughters waiting for brendon, said that if you don’t see the black SUV, brendon isn’t coming out. so we all look out in the street and a black SUV pulls up. this is now like an hour after the show, roughly thirty minutes after the supposed time that brendon was supposed to come out in the first place. zack comes out, does his uh security thing and goes back in. car is sitting out there. 

no brendon.

now people are getting really antsy. like there’s some parents that are like telling their kids they gotta go, kids are getting upset cause they want to see brendon, some other fans getting upset cause they’re tired and they have places and stuff they gotta do. im getting upset cause i got a friend waiting across the street for me now for an hour. another at starbucks. and we have a dinner reservation.

not to mention the absolute fucking chaos that is 45th street right now because of people just ‘lining up’ to see whatever the drama is. my friend told me that the crowd got so big that it was in the street and cops were driving by honking their sirens trying to clear the street. i mean, people were on the rooftops of the apartments across the street looking at the drama at this theater. like the crowd as apparently that massive at that point.

brendon finally comes out, an hour and fifteen minutes from the show ending and zooms right into the. doesn’t wave. don’t say anything. just... nine seconds. literally. just power walks right into the car and that car fucking takes off. i mean, i got it on video. its 9 fucking seconds.

the crowd slowly disperses but the theater fans waiting for the other actors still stay around. we ask if the other actors are coming out, we’re told nope. brendon was the last to leave that’s it. not really good news to hear but okay. i thank the guard cause he was a sweetheart trying to get our playbills to the actors that did come out.

so now soapbox time:

i don’t know how the other nights leading up to the incident where brendon’s team cancelled his signings went down. i don’t know how long these people waited or how good or bad the theater staff handled it. but, based on what i saw those last two nights, it could have been handled better.

the crowds were peaceful for the first thirty minutes, especially when it was announced brendon would be out within that time. people started getting aggravated fifty minutes into waiting. by making us wait, for whatever reason it may have been, by making everyone wait for that long i believe could have contributed to how ... rowdy the crowds got at the signings. if people were waiting out there for an hour, two hours, even three hours -- yeah, all that anticipation and excitement building up is like a pressure cooker ready to explode.

also, to come out at all and not even say something is kind of lame. people were upset, parents were angry and yeah, i get it. last show. zack said it himself, brendon wasn’t even going to come out but since it was the last show he was going to do it. but if it was the last show, at least something could have been said? i dont know. you have people waiting out there for nearly an hour and a half and all they get is 9 seconds and a rush of people trying to get photos because there’s only 9 seconds to get a shot?

for that, he should have never came out. they should have cut the appearances entirely. brendon has protection, he has a security team, and he has a way out if shit goes down. the people in the crowds don’t and if something went back, a lot of people could have gotten hurt. lets say one kid, one parent, one fan just decided to push themselves forward just for that golden shot?? 

it was a pressure cooker.

it could have been handled a lot better. if i was a parent who had a kid at that event, i would have been upset myeslf. i could blame the theater, and yet, maybe part of it was there fault but a lot of it still is on the back of brendon’s pr team and they should have just nipped it in the butt and not have people waiting out there for hours and not take that time out to acknowledge them for their support and patience. he didn’t need to sign anything. that crowd would have listened. they would have respected zack’s wishes.

but, hey, whatever. at least the performance was amazing. 

i just think the whole handling of the stage door was absolute bullshit and 100% of the fault should not be blamed on the fans like its been put out there for the last two months. brendon’s team and the theater fucked up too.

steps off soap box

[therealestatesparkblog]

The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People

Financial education is non-existent in American schools. I remember learning how to write a check and balance a checkbook in Home Ec, but there were no courses aboutmortgages, budgeting, taxes, or living within my means. Not at school, anyway. My parents taught me about being frugal. There werent any overt lessons, just leading by example in their daily lives. They didnt do anything extravagantno big vacations, no fancy clothes, no new cars. In fact, my dad drove the same car throughout my entire childhood. He bought it brand new two years before I was born. I learned to drive on this vehicle, and it had something like 200,000 miles on it when it finally died. With so little financial education readily available, its no surprise that few people know how to manage their finances. So how do some people kill it, while others struggle? Here are 7 habits of financially successful people. The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People1. They check their statements every month. Unless youre completely off the grid, you get statements from your various accounts every month. Whether available online or actual paper statements, you have access to a monthly accounting of whats going on in your finances. How often do you check them? My husband starts each day with a quick peek at the statements. Bank, credit cards, stock investments, etc. He tracks everything going into and out of each account, every single day. While this may seem excessive, he feels uncomfortable when he doesnt do it. He discovered ourcredit card number was stolen a few years ago when a weird charge showed up.We were able to shut down that card quickly, before it turned into a big problem. Keeping tabs on your accounts doesnt have to be a daily thing. Weekly or even monthly is finebut many peoplejust dont even bother to ever check it. When was the last time you checked your monthly statements?

2. They plan their estate. Nobody likes to think about dying. Planning your estate can be a depressing task, which makes it extremely easy to put off. Repeatedly. Like, forever. But without a will, you have no control over what happens to your things. Your house, your car, even custody of your children all becomes subject to the intestacy laws of your state, which may not bear any resemblance to your wishes. Dont let this happen to you. Make a will so that your assets go where you want them to go. Even a handwritten holographic willwill preserve your intentions. Include custody directions if you have children or animals. The best course of action is to have a conversation with the person you are giving custody to you dont want it to come as a surprise to them. Be as specific as you want in your will. You earned this wealth. You helped it grow. Direct your heirs on how to handle your possessions, so your legacy can continue. 3. They create (and stick to) a budget. Financially savvy people have a plan for their money. Dave Ramsey calls it giving every dollar a name. You make a plan for how you are going to spend your money each month, rather than just hoping youll have enough to pay all the bills. Related: 6 Easy-to-Acquire Habits That Will Help You Build Wealth But say the word budget, and people freak out it sounds like a restriction. Look at your budget as a tool. You dont have to give up everything simply because you make one. Instead, you are creating a blueprint for how you want to spend your money. 4. They live below their means. Spending every dime that comes into your pocketis one of the best paths to financial ruin. Having no cushion doesnt allow you to roll with the punches that may come along. Lose your job or have an unexpected bill, and it could take you months or even years to recover. Living below your means allows you to save and invest the difference between what you earn and what you spend. If life throws you a curve ball, you wontget knocked off your feet. Living below your means doesnt mean that you are giving up everything fun. By using a budget to plan your spending, you can include money for entertainment, clothing, or even just a miscellaneous category to spend as you see fit. But instead of spending $500 one month and $700 the next, you plan and stick to your budget, which allows you to save and invest.

5. They pay themselves first. Paying yourself first means to set aside money to invest or saveBEFORE you spend any other money. All too often, people spend spend spend, then save or invest whatever is left over. If you have no budget, have no idea how you spend your money, and have a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants mentality, your leftovers are meagerif anything. When you are creating that budget, create a line for investing. Make that the first thing you put money into every week or every month. Funnel any unexpected moneylike a bonus or a refundinto this category, too. 6. They invest. Financially intelligent people invest for their future. But say the word invest, and people panic. You dont have to be able to pick stocks like a pro to invest. In fact, investing heavily in individual stocks is a recipe for disaster. Having a diversified portfolio is one of the best ways to spread out your risk. Index fundsa collection of funds designed to mimic a specific indexgive you broad market exposure. An index fund is a passively managed fund, so the fees are significantly lower than traditional, actively managed mutual funds. Real estate is another way to diversify your portfolio, and having a passive source of income through rental properties or even REITs (real estate investment trusts) is a great hedge against the ups and downs of the stock market. Bonds also providea low-risk investment option, but their return is also lower than what you can find through other investment vehicles. 7. They are money conscious. I went out to dinner with friends one night. We went for sushi, but I dont like the idea of eating raw fish. There are a lot of options at a sushi restaurant, and I ended up withcucumber and avocado sushi, which is significantly less expensive than the fancy dragon rolls and rainbow rolls that my dinner companions were eating. At the end of the night, we split the bill evenly. I didnt eat nearly the same amountof food, but enjoyed my time with my friends and was OK with splitting the bill evenlyamongst all of us. It wasnt going to break me financially, and it wasnt something I did frequently. It wasnt something I did frequently, but it WAS something they did frequently. At the time, I was married with no children. Both my husband and I worked and lived frugally, far below our means. But my friends were all single, living alone, and making far less than my husband and me. They felt they deserved these meals out and went out at least once a week to equally lavish restaurants, spending similar amounts on their meal. Every. Single. Week. They had no concept of their spending. They felt no compulsion to save any amount. They didnt invest. They werent conscious of their spending. Related: 3 Habits of Incredibly Lucky People (For Better Fortune in Business & Life!) SoI didnt talk to them about it. Who wants to listen to someone lecturing them about money? They didnt care about their finances,and me hopping up on a soapbox to try to sway them to my side wasnt going to have the desired effect. Being money conscious doesnt mean you never spend any money. It doesnt even mean you never spend frivolously. It means you are conscious of your spending, conscious of what things cost, and conscious of how your actions affect your future. Being financially successful doesnt mean you give up fun. It means you have a financial plan and you stick to it. You make saving for your future a priority, and you structure your life to reach your goals. If you arent currently financially savvy, start with one of these steps. Then add another when you feel ready. Your very first step, the most difficult thing to grasp, is that you need to make a change. Were republishing this article to help out our newer members.

What habits would you add to this list? How do you keep your finances on track? Leave your comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/2016/04/08/7-habits-financially-successful-people/

[somedaypast-thesunset]

I. i want to build a life with him. it’s been a year since we started seeing each other and we’ve never really fought on such a degree that it hurt the relationship. i know i have much more experience in long term, stable & dedicated relationships. so for me, the natural progression is to build a life together but for him, he’s too immature & inexperienced in real relationships to understand that much of him spinning his wheels is the same desire i have.

II. since the beginning of may he has been ramped up. which is around the time we knew i’d have to move from where i was currently living. he had this like “fear” and “insecurity” that i’d be “stuck” living with him but i knew i did not want to live with him and his mother. i dislike it there and after three or four days im eager to return to my own space. to me, this felt like a projection of frustration that was not about being “stuck” with him but the fact things were changing and the only way he could fathom it staying the same, beneficial to him, was if i lived with him. when he realized i didnt actually need him, he began to project his frustrations towards the fact i was upset about moving. he knew i had apporpriate reason but he was unable to overcome his own bullshit - he needed me to reassure him, not the other way around. 

III. i have spent 1000$ in two months on rent for a place i have slept in approximately 10 times. i am paying outrageously for a place to keep my cats because i spend literally five nights of the week sleeping at his house by his own choice. in almost six months i have not once asked to hang out or stay over - he picks me up after work and it’s assumed i will be staying. on the weekends, he picks me up friday evening nd i dont return until monday morning.4

IV. and this is fine! i’m not even upset about it; i’m happy to spend time with him. he is, to me, a perfect boyfriend. i do not eve consider him a boyfriend. i think that the term “boyfriend” belittles what he does for me. more so, on several occassions now he speaks in very, very long term phrases. he wants me on his life insurance - we are morbidly depressed people and he believes if he passed away in the next little while, that i’m to receive everything. and like.. i dont think thats so much of like ‘haha you deal with it’ it’s that he knows he’s capable of receiving a significant amount of money and if he cannot be around then i think he wants me to have it to better my life. it’s not like a black mail ‘take care of this and this and you get it’ -- it’s like a really selfless thing knowing that i have no one and nothing and tht i am the person who deserves something. not because i took care of him but because i just deserve something. he also refused to go to family day at his union because he couldn’t take me knowing he hadn’t added me as a family member to his file. 

V. he wants to live in his truck. he cannot move away because he is emotionally invested in not only his mother’s well being but in the life he built in his career and finally the life he built with me. i believe he’s choosing to live in his truck out of immaturity (”i dont want to pay rent”) and the ability to continue to have the life he has built by staying close to me and his mother. our mutual friend called him out on what we can see as an obvious manic episode where he is going full throttle and becoming obsessive about things. 

i honestly believe the best thing for both of us is to live together. even if i continued to pay 500$ towards expenses, it bumps us up to a grand and if he’s that much of a brat, he could pay for the extra to get a townhouse or utilities for one. he is completely choked by his mother and living with his mother. she does not respect him or what he does for a job. she babies the hell out of him, making it incredibly hard for someone to make the choice to leave. he has no space for himself or the things he wants to do. and then he adds me into it and it becomes even more cramped and he ends up paying for the additional costs incurred by both of us using utilities. 

i believe both of us are hemmorraghing money that does nothing but sustain a really shitty lifestyle we’re both leading because there’s no where else to go at this moment. he has kind of made the choice for both of us, despite me still having the freewill to leave or stop at any time. if i want the chance of a future, i have no choice but to hemmorage money right now in hopes it pays off later. and there’s no promise for it. 

this morning he tried to say something in regards to me receiving disability. i simply replied he doesnt pay rent. hes 26 years old and hes refusing out right to pay rent and support himself despite having the means to do it. who dares if i received disability? neither of us are supporting ourselves - but my money goes to rent. like i pay for the place i live in. i dont just get free money and chill. i pay rent like evry other person on this planet who wants to live somewhere they dont outright own. 

i told him we were equal. he may earn money but none of it goes towards life expenses. someone is paying for him to live and someone is paying for me to live and no matter how you argue it - someone else is doing it. so how can you possibly stand on a soapbox and act as though you’re better? you’re the same. 

i’ve become frustrated about this too, and i think our mutual friend can see that i have a certain amount of frustration on the regular. it kind of harkens to our very early days; he told me he would see other people. i told him to go ahead but it didnt seem like he was going to. again, i told him please - go ahad and live in your truck. is it a good idea? is it a smart idea? nope. but go ahead. do i believe it solves any problems? nope. but go ahead. prove me wrong. sleep with someone else. live in your truck. show me how i don’t know anything. 

i told our mutual friend, “its hard to feel sympathy for someone who doesnt want to pay rent.” he laughed and agreed - we had this exchange directly in front of him because it’s not meant to be a secret. we cannot feel sympathy for him when he chooses to live like this. 

you know what i need? a family. that’s an ingredient to the success of my life. i did not deserve to have my life. i did nothing to no one and no where does it say once your parents re dead, you dont deserve to have anything more. i fully believe i wouldve been successful if i had a family. if i had of had a mother like his - totally fucking different. my life was preoccupied with these people and it remains preoccupied every living waking moment that i have alone. i have no purpose to get up because everyone is dead. and when they were here it fucking sucked. like literally no point was good. NOT ONE SINGLE TIME OR ERA IN MY LIFE WAS GOOD WITH THESE PEOPLE LIVING. 

and like.. im ready to move on. two years in. 

[therealestatesparkblog]

The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People

Financial education is non-existent in American schools. I remember learning how to write a check and balance a checkbook in Home Ec, but there were no courses aboutmortgages, budgeting, taxes, or living within my means. Not at school, anyway. My parents taught me about being frugal. There werent any overt lessons, just leading by example in their daily lives. They didnt do anything extravagantno big vacations, no fancy clothes, no new cars. In fact, my dad drove the same car throughout my entire childhood. He bought it brand new two years before I was born. I learned to drive on this vehicle, and it had something like 200,000 miles on it when it finally died. With so little financial education readily available, its no surprise that few people know how to manage their finances. So how do some people kill it, while others struggle? Here are 7 habits of financially successful people. The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People1. They check their statements every month. Unless youre completely off the grid, you get statements from your various accounts every month. Whether available online or actual paper statements, you have access to a monthly accounting of whats going on in your finances. How often do you check them? My husband starts each day with a quick peek at the statements. Bank, credit cards, stock investments, etc. He tracks everything going into and out of each account, every single day. While this may seem excessive, he feels uncomfortable when he doesnt do it. He discovered ourcredit card number was stolen a few years ago when a weird charge showed up.We were able to shut down that card quickly, before it turned into a big problem. Keeping tabs on your accounts doesnt have to be a daily thing. Weekly or even monthly is finebut many peoplejust dont even bother to ever check it. When was the last time you checked your monthly statements?

2. They plan their estate. Nobody likes to think about dying. Planning your estate can be a depressing task, which makes it extremely easy to put off. Repeatedly. Like, forever. But without a will, you have no control over what happens to your things. Your house, your car, even custody of your children all becomes subject to the intestacy laws of your state, which may not bear any resemblance to your wishes. Dont let this happen to you. Make a will so that your assets go where you want them to go. Even a handwritten holographic willwill preserve your intentions. Include custody directions if you have children or animals. The best course of action is to have a conversation with the person you are giving custody to you dont want it to come as a surprise to them. Be as specific as you want in your will. You earned this wealth. You helped it grow. Direct your heirs on how to handle your possessions, so your legacy can continue. 3. They create (and stick to) a budget. Financially savvy people have a plan for their money. Dave Ramsey calls it giving every dollar a name. You make a plan for how you are going to spend your money each month, rather than just hoping youll have enough to pay all the bills. Related: 6 Easy-to-Acquire Habits That Will Help You Build Wealth But say the word budget, and people freak out it sounds like a restriction. Look at your budget as a tool. You dont have to give up everything simply because you make one. Instead, you are creating a blueprint for how you want to spend your money. 4. They live below their means. Spending every dime that comes into your pocketis one of the best paths to financial ruin. Having no cushion doesnt allow you to roll with the punches that may come along. Lose your job or have an unexpected bill, and it could take you months or even years to recover. Living below your means allows you to save and invest the difference between what you earn and what you spend. If life throws you a curve ball, you wontget knocked off your feet. Living below your means doesnt mean that you are giving up everything fun. By using a budget to plan your spending, you can include money for entertainment, clothing, or even just a miscellaneous category to spend as you see fit. But instead of spending $500 one month and $700 the next, you plan and stick to your budget, which allows you to save and invest.

5. They pay themselves first. Paying yourself first means to set aside money to invest or saveBEFORE you spend any other money. All too often, people spend spend spend, then save or invest whatever is left over. If you have no budget, have no idea how you spend your money, and have a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants mentality, your leftovers are meagerif anything. When you are creating that budget, create a line for investing. Make that the first thing you put money into every week or every month. Funnel any unexpected moneylike a bonus or a refundinto this category, too. 6. They invest. Financially intelligent people invest for their future. But say the word invest, and people panic. You dont have to be able to pick stocks like a pro to invest. In fact, investing heavily in individual stocks is a recipe for disaster. Having a diversified portfolio is one of the best ways to spread out your risk. Index fundsa collection of funds designed to mimic a specific indexgive you broad market exposure. An index fund is a passively managed fund, so the fees are significantly lower than traditional, actively managed mutual funds. Real estate is another way to diversify your portfolio, and having a passive source of income through rental properties or even REITs (real estate investment trusts) is a great hedge against the ups and downs of the stock market. Bonds also providea low-risk investment option, but their return is also lower than what you can find through other investment vehicles. 7. They are money conscious. I went out to dinner with friends one night. We went for sushi, but I dont like the idea of eating raw fish. There are a lot of options at a sushi restaurant, and I ended up withcucumber and avocado sushi, which is significantly less expensive than the fancy dragon rolls and rainbow rolls that my dinner companions were eating. At the end of the night, we split the bill evenly. I didnt eat nearly the same amountof food, but enjoyed my time with my friends and was OK with splitting the bill evenlyamongst all of us. It wasnt going to break me financially, and it wasnt something I did frequently. It wasnt something I did frequently, but it WAS something they did frequently. At the time, I was married with no children. Both my husband and I worked and lived frugally, far below our means. But my friends were all single, living alone, and making far less than my husband and me. They felt they deserved these meals out and went out at least once a week to equally lavish restaurants, spending similar amounts on their meal. Every. Single. Week. They had no concept of their spending. They felt no compulsion to save any amount. They didnt invest. They werent conscious of their spending. Related: 3 Habits of Incredibly Lucky People (For Better Fortune in Business & Life!) SoI didnt talk to them about it. Who wants to listen to someone lecturing them about money? They didnt care about their finances,and me hopping up on a soapbox to try to sway them to my side wasnt going to have the desired effect. Being money conscious doesnt mean you never spend any money. It doesnt even mean you never spend frivolously. It means you are conscious of your spending, conscious of what things cost, and conscious of how your actions affect your future. Being financially successful doesnt mean you give up fun. It means you have a financial plan and you stick to it. You make saving for your future a priority, and you structure your life to reach your goals. If you arent currently financially savvy, start with one of these steps. Then add another when you feel ready. Your very first step, the most difficult thing to grasp, is that you need to make a change. Were republishing this article to help out our newer members.

What habits would you add to this list? How do you keep your finances on track? Leave your comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/2016/04/08/7-habits-financially-successful-people/

[therealestatesparkblog]

The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People

Financial education is non-existent in American schools. I remember learning how to write a check and balance a checkbook in Home Ec, but there were no courses aboutmortgages, budgeting, taxes, or living within my means. Not at school, anyway. My parents taught me about being frugal. There werent any overt lessons, just leading by example in their daily lives. They didnt do anything extravagantno big vacations, no fancy clothes, no new cars. In fact, my dad drove the same car throughout my entire childhood. He bought it brand new two years before I was born. I learned to drive on this vehicle, and it had something like 200,000 miles on it when it finally died. With so little financial education readily available, its no surprise that few people know how to manage their finances. So how do some people kill it, while others struggle? Here are 7 habits of financially successful people. The 7 Simple Habits of Financially Successful People1. They check their statements every month. Unless youre completely off the grid, you get statements from your various accounts every month. Whether available online or actual paper statements, you have access to a monthly accounting of whats going on in your finances. How often do you check them? My husband starts each day with a quick peek at the statements. Bank, credit cards, stock investments, etc. He tracks everything going into and out of each account, every single day. While this may seem excessive, he feels uncomfortable when he doesnt do it. He discovered ourcredit card number was stolen a few years ago when a weird charge showed up.We were able to shut down that card quickly, before it turned into a big problem. Keeping tabs on your accounts doesnt have to be a daily thing. Weekly or even monthly is finebut many peoplejust dont even bother to ever check it. When was the last time you checked your monthly statements?

2. They plan their estate. Nobody likes to think about dying. Planning your estate can be a depressing task, which makes it extremely easy to put off. Repeatedly. Like, forever. But without a will, you have no control over what happens to your things. Your house, your car, even custody of your children all becomes subject to the intestacy laws of your state, which may not bear any resemblance to your wishes. Dont let this happen to you. Make a will so that your assets go where you want them to go. Even a handwritten holographic willwill preserve your intentions. Include custody directions if you have children or animals. The best course of action is to have a conversation with the person you are giving custody to you dont want it to come as a surprise to them. Be as specific as you want in your will. You earned this wealth. You helped it grow. Direct your heirs on how to handle your possessions, so your legacy can continue. 3. They create (and stick to) a budget. Financially savvy people have a plan for their money. Dave Ramsey calls it giving every dollar a name. You make a plan for how you are going to spend your money each month, rather than just hoping youll have enough to pay all the bills. Related: 6 Easy-to-Acquire Habits That Will Help You Build Wealth But say the word budget, and people freak out it sounds like a restriction. Look at your budget as a tool. You dont have to give up everything simply because you make one. Instead, you are creating a blueprint for how you want to spend your money. 4. They live below their means. Spending every dime that comes into your pocketis one of the best paths to financial ruin. Having no cushion doesnt allow you to roll with the punches that may come along. Lose your job or have an unexpected bill, and it could take you months or even years to recover. Living below your means allows you to save and invest the difference between what you earn and what you spend. If life throws you a curve ball, you wontget knocked off your feet. Living below your means doesnt mean that you are giving up everything fun. By using a budget to plan your spending, you can include money for entertainment, clothing, or even just a miscellaneous category to spend as you see fit. But instead of spending $500 one month and $700 the next, you plan and stick to your budget, which allows you to save and invest.

5. They pay themselves first. Paying yourself first means to set aside money to invest or saveBEFORE you spend any other money. All too often, people spend spend spend, then save or invest whatever is left over. If you have no budget, have no idea how you spend your money, and have a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants mentality, your leftovers are meagerif anything. When you are creating that budget, create a line for investing. Make that the first thing you put money into every week or every month. Funnel any unexpected moneylike a bonus or a refundinto this category, too. 6. They invest. Financially intelligent people invest for their future. But say the word invest, and people panic. You dont have to be able to pick stocks like a pro to invest. In fact, investing heavily in individual stocks is a recipe for disaster. Having a diversified portfolio is one of the best ways to spread out your risk. Index fundsa collection of funds designed to mimic a specific indexgive you broad market exposure. An index fund is a passively managed fund, so the fees are significantly lower than traditional, actively managed mutual funds. Real estate is another way to diversify your portfolio, and having a passive source of income through rental properties or even REITs (real estate investment trusts) is a great hedge against the ups and downs of the stock market. Bonds also providea low-risk investment option, but their return is also lower than what you can find through other investment vehicles. 7. They are money conscious. I went out to dinner with friends one night. We went for sushi, but I dont like the idea of eating raw fish. There are a lot of options at a sushi restaurant, and I ended up withcucumber and avocado sushi, which is significantly less expensive than the fancy dragon rolls and rainbow rolls that my dinner companions were eating. At the end of the night, we split the bill evenly. I didnt eat nearly the same amountof food, but enjoyed my time with my friends and was OK with splitting the bill evenlyamongst all of us. It wasnt going to break me financially, and it wasnt something I did frequently. It wasnt something I did frequently, but it WAS something they did frequently. At the time, I was married with no children. Both my husband and I worked and lived frugally, far below our means. But my friends were all single, living alone, and making far less than my husband and me. They felt they deserved these meals out and went out at least once a week to equally lavish restaurants, spending similar amounts on their meal. Every. Single. Week. They had no concept of their spending. They felt no compulsion to save any amount. They didnt invest. They werent conscious of their spending. Related: 3 Habits of Incredibly Lucky People (For Better Fortune in Business & Life!) SoI didnt talk to them about it. Who wants to listen to someone lecturing them about money? They didnt care about their finances,and me hopping up on a soapbox to try to sway them to my side wasnt going to have the desired effect. Being money conscious doesnt mean you never spend any money. It doesnt even mean you never spend frivolously. It means you are conscious of your spending, conscious of what things cost, and conscious of how your actions affect your future. Being financially successful doesnt mean you give up fun. It means you have a financial plan and you stick to it. You make saving for your future a priority, and you structure your life to reach your goals. If you arent currently financially savvy, start with one of these steps. Then add another when you feel ready. Your very first step, the most difficult thing to grasp, is that you need to make a change. Were republishing this article to help out our newer members.

What habits would you add to this list? How do you keep your finances on track? Leave your comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/2016/04/08/7-habits-financially-successful-people/