#because I'm very tired lol

[paperstorm]

Your tags on that gifset hit home a bit for me, I think.. something I've found very difficult this season is seeing sort of a lack of compassion from some people in this fandom toward Carlos' tendency to avoid difficult situations and conversations. I understand that things are dialed up for dramatic purposes, but as someone who can relate to that tendency and also struggles with it, it's been upsetting to reckon with the idea that TK showing him kindness, grace, and compassion is too much, or that he shouldn't be. I understand people being upset by his actions and I don't want to invalidate those feelings, but I'm left wondering if the wishes for TK to have been harsher are a reflection of how these people treat individuals in their real lives who struggle with this as Carlos does. Again, I don't want to dismiss anyone's feelings, this season has definitely been polarizing, I just wish people would be more careful with the words they use.

I have a lot of compassion for anyone not enjoying his story this season because I don't think anyone wants to feel that way. I think there are people who have loved Carlos and were excited for this season and feel really let down by how he's been written this year and that's not a place anyone would be by choice. It's just how they feel, and that's gotta be really awful.

Idk. The writing has been somewhat sloppy with some of this, I don't deny that. But at the same time, Carlos is a person who spent his whole life until he was 26 years old feeling like he couldn't be fully honest about basically anything. Feeling like he wasn't safe to tell people his truths. That's not a thing you can just shake off or something that magically goes away the day someone falls in love with you. That's a lifetime of trauma and learned behavior. Of course he should have been more honest with TK but that's not a simple thing, for a person who's spent their whole life being guarded as a necessary defense mechanism. It's not an excuse, but it's a valid reason, and a little bit of grace is not unreasonable. Especially from someone who loves him. Sometimes it feels like the internet at large likes to talk a big talk about how supportive they are about mental illness right up until the point that someone starts displaying symptoms of mental illness, and then it's too far or they're problematic or they should've gone to therapy and fixed themselves or they're using it as an excuse or they're causing harm by daring to not be perfect. And Carlos isn't real. You can't hurt his feelings by not offering him any compassion. But other people are real, and they see those harsh and uncompassionate reactions, and that's where feelings get hurt.

[jiiniix]

Made some requests on insta to practice a new artstyle

[thechibilitwick]

bored

[deoidesign]

quick traditional piece for fun ^^

[iguessitsjustme]

Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.

Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.

It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.

Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?

[amtrak12]

HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢

[jayktoralldaylong]

Going through Jayvik in the Arcane fandom makes me understand more and more why more ships need to be confirmed as canon.

At first, I thought confirming ships was not so important so that the gays could still make money marketing the media to the rich homophobes (like, we might as well take their money.).

BUT OH. MY. GOD!

Is it EXHAUSTING to come this far and still have people trying to explain that Jayce and Viktor were just brothers. MEANWHILE, if EITHER ONE OF THEM was a GIRL, they would suddenly have the vision! 🤬😭

[slinkiezz]

Edwin Payne • Haunted House

[mrs-gauche]

Oh yeah, and since everyone's posting, here's the Inquisitor too! :3

My girl is back. 🥹🥹🥹 Oh, how I've missed you. 💜

[1833outboy]

did pete just give out patrick's number to every journalist he could?

[foreos]

bad kids family tree (blurry edition, because tumblr destroyed the quality)

[mod2amaryllis]

they finally fired the person we've been having issues with the last year and she's sending everyone very long very mean angry texts about her time here, except me. she sent me one sentence saying she enjoyed working with me and wishing me luck with motherhood. and I'm forced to confront the possibility that maybe, deep down, despite everything, i am actually a nice person (?)

[reactionimagesdaily]

[starcurtain]

respectfully the reason people mischaracterize aventurine in the specific way you mentioned in the tags of "canonically not caring about wealth or power" at least is a lot more simple than you'd think; because the devs said otherwise. in the livestream where acheron and aventurine were revealed (so right before we actually got that tb quest where we learned everything) the ceo and the writer outright state that he seems to have an obsession with amassing wealth.

now obviously we can now look back on this with hindsight, they said a lot of things in there that make more sense with context (example; mentioning that his original kit being focused around dodging left him the only party member alive was scrapped even though they joked about it being fitting might have made him look like a jackass, but now recontextualized as being about his luck only saving him) but i would argue that when the writer of the story and the ceo of the company look into the camera while revealing behind the scenes details and say he has an obsession with wealth (even if there are now multiple interpretations of that, from thinking he intentionally plays into that facade to thinking that's how he coped after losing his reason for going on) and that is the first impression a lot of people had of his real character if they didn't follow leaks, it's kind of no wonder that it's so common of an interpretation.

Yeah, I think I take this with a strong does of skepticism though, because:

A) Everyone knows the devs lie in previews in order to keep secrets about characters, and, as you note, what they say about characters tends to be wildly out of context. We all remember those comments about Gallagher not being plot relevant at all lol. Should we still believe that just because it was said by the devs once?

B) At this point, why would you be engaging in the fandom for a character if you skipped or put off doing any of his content in the actual game? Playing through 2.0 alone, let alone 2.1, would reveal to anyone paying attention that Aventurine is a very duplicitous character who puts on a specific persona as a mask to hide the fact that he thinks of himself very differently on the inside.

I feel like we can use the "the devs said this" as an excuse for a little while, but once the character's content has been out for months and provides a completely different picture of the character, if you're not willing to update your "first impression" of the character to an more accurate portrayal of them based on what's actually in the game... then like... why be in that character's fandom at all?

That's just my opinion anyway. This might not be the nicest thing for me to say, but I do feel like if people refuse to move on from an impression they formed of the character before the character was even released... then what they've created is an OC, not a portrayal of the actual canon character anymore.

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

[connoisseursdecomfort]

Side Mission vs Family: a chronological order of Twilight’s developing internal conflicts

SxF starts with a mission - Operation Strix, and because of the mission, the Forgers family is created. Before we get to the point where Twilight has to choose between his goals and his family (hopefully not unless you really want ANGST, and I know you do), another problem is seriously endangering his family mission - his side missions.

His side missions constantly take him away from his family, and we see the increasing guilt he’s been harbouring for leaving his family for side missions since the doggy crisis arc, and it’s not surprising that one day it has finally become a problem that could endanger his family main mission.

[Manga spoilers after the keep reading link]

0. The Beginning: “I will start a family for Operation Strix”

As early as in chapter 2, his side mission almost destroyed his pact with Yor:

Chapter 7 establishes that Twilight would miss some of the family activities because of his spy job.

The penguin chapter further establishes how busy Twilight in fact is. He’s away from his family a lot, and his family doesn’t really blame him because he looks as if he’s dying when he finally goes home.

This is the first time he brings his family with him while being on a side mission. It’s really about work-life balance balancing the two missions. Hence, we see how the idea of Loid “for the mission” Forger is conceived in this chapter. 

Even so, Twilight doesn’t necessarily feel guilty to be constantly away from his family because of his side missions. He’s just blindly falling in love. We all just didn’t know how much he would hold onto this stupid excuse as if his dear life depends on it later on.

1. “For the mission”: the Doggy Crisis Arc ~ the Tennis Arc

The doggy arc, basically another side mission Twilight had, is the first arc to reveal his internal conflicts among his mission/family. This is also the first time he really worries about his side mission affecting his family life main mission. Understandably, since he’s literally summoned when he’s in the middle of a family activity.

On one hand, this is the first time we see how he refers to the Forgers - not in spy terms, he simply calls them his family.

On the other hand, it is really the first crisis that forces him to step back and reevaluate his relationship with “his family”.

He consciously knows he should choose his missions over his family - in the next panel, he told himself this is for the “best future for everyone”.

He should certainly prioritise his missions, side missions included, over Yor and Anya, right?

In the manga the panel (in Short Mission 2) in which he has a drink with Franky happens before the doggy crisis arc. But it doesn’t really matter if happens before or after the arc. The incident only confirms that what he’s thinking about has been right all along: that he can’t afford to really have a relationship with Anya or Yor. At least for now.

This point onward, Twilight is slowly revealing his true identity as a character - the unreliable narrator. 

He has been a cool liar from the very start, but he was easy to read. It’s quite straightforward that he’s falling in love with his new family before the doggy crisis arc. It’s very easy to decipher what he really means judging from his expressions.

But at some point, he has decided to pull back and simply starts lying to himself. He starts to find excuses to justify his actions when it comes to his family. His worries over losing the family have been interpreted as fears of failing the mission.

This is really when the “for the mission” joke comes to shape, because it’s glaringly obvious to others that he’s SOOOOO in love.

What he says doesn't match up to how he acts:

The Tennis Arc is really the first arc a side mission really creates a tangible threat felt by both Yor and Anya. A side mission that could really take "Loid” away from this family.

But he has created such a strong excuse for himself to maintain the Forgers’ family continue the main mission, he has never considered carrying out his mission in ways other than the only way in his mind - to do it with Yor and Anya.  

(Of course, logically, Anya has already been enrolled. Everyone, especially people in Eden, knows that Yor is the mother. The Handler feels fine about the progress. There is no reason for him to change his mind.)

And he feels fine hiding in this comfort zone he’s created for himself, while doing stupid things like this:

Yes. We all see how swimmerly your main mission is going, Twilight.

2. For what mission: the cruise arc ~ the backstory arc

The cruise arc is interesting in many many ways. For Loid, it is the first time Endo takes away his stupid excuses. It is also the first time he shows guilt for leaving his family for other stuffs - and he doesn’t make up excuses for that.

It is first hinted when they had their first dinner on the cruise (Chapter 46).

We know that there are times he would be home late for his side missions and stuffs and miss dinner for that - “You miss dinner all the time”. We also know that if Yor is late, Loid and Anya tend to wait for her to have dinner.

This is the first time Endo shows us the hint of loneliness he feels when he is the one left alone. This could have added to the guilt he felt later when he had to leave Anya behind.

This time it’s not even his side missions that pulled him away - it’s his “for the greater good” goal. The realisation that he feels guilty for “abandoning his family” for other crises immediately throws him into a loop.

What is this family: a mission or something else? It is quite a dangerous revelation - he’s still had his priorities straight after the doggy arc, but towards the end of the cruise arc, his guilt is almost too noticeable for him to justify his action of “abandoning his family”. He quickly retreats and this is what he told the Handler:

As if we all don’t know he’s an idiot:

After tearing down his “for the mission” excuses, Endo went on to show who Twilight is, and more importantly, what his mission really is. Twilight was abandoned by the world, and in turn he abandons the world to work on his mission.

It has never been about WISE or Westalis. Even less about Operation Strix. It’s always been about what this little boy has lost.

The question if Twilight will ever be able to abandon the family always creates tensions, even among readers. And it’s even sadder to see that he would have to abandon Anya for the greater good - that the same thing has to happen again. A vicious cycle of abandonment issues.

But the difference is Twilight couldn’t stop his family and friends being taken away from him, and he could never get them back ever again. But for Anya, they are pretty much still here. Despite the fact that her parents have always had to leave for different missions, they come back to her.

Now of course this could just be something she sees via Bond. Anya is somehow weirdly optimistic that if Twilight doesn't know about the secrets of Yor and herself, they’ll be fine. She’ll just try her very best to complete the mission, and the family would just stay together.

Twilight, on the other hand, is the one who’s harbouring guilt for being away from them too often. With this guilt that is created by the side missions, and a bigger fear of “failing the mission” (whatever that means), now we have come to the bus arc. 

3. Retreat and progress: the bus arc ~ now

Twilight and Yor didn’t appear for the most part of the bus arc. Yor was simply kept in the dark, and Twilight was again on a side mission. He wasn't there until Chapter 75. All we know is that Twilight got back in time, brought another colleague with him, and sneaked into the strike team.

Now Endo left a lot of unresolved questions in this arc: how did he know? How did he get back? He went directly against the Handler’s order:

Sneaking into the strike team is the direct opposite of staying behind the scenes.

And after that we get bits and pieces of him being a good father: he bought a new car and decided to drive Anya to school instead. He brought Anya with him to a meeting with the Handler because she “really wants to play”. He’s actually very careful with what Anya eats, and is mindful of his sugar intake. It’s no longer for show - why on earth does he have to show off to his boss?

Bits and pieces of descriptions or evidence of how affectionate he really is has been deliberately placed in short conversations/dialogues since the bus arc started.

I said “deliberately”, because everyone on Endo;s team, including Lin and himself, would have known what the audience wants. Look at the merch. Everything is about the family being very happily together. And Endo just wouldn’t give us that.

If we look back, the side missions are just practice runs of him leaving - in every arc, at some point he would have to leave to solve a crisis. And every time he comes back with more and more guilt.

He has grown from this man who got the penguin so he could pretend that this was a happy family, to the man who gets his family cakes after he finishes a mission. He went from doing it for show, to actually lamenting himself for abandoning his family for other things.

He knows the side mission is taking him away from his family. And then the bus arc happened while he’s on a side mission. And this time, when Yor’s trying to have a conversation about him being away too much, he has to leave. For the mission.

Right after Yor accuses him for abandoning his family for work.

I’m just saying that’re really a lot of coincidences if Endo’s not up to something. 

I still don’t know if this arc will make up for all the deliberate void Endo has created. Maybe. But I’m just very excited to see what happens next, and how he deals with his relationships with Yor and Anya.