#because I'm bitter and Czech.

[stromuprisahat]

Six of Crows- Chapter 27

Kaz is confronted about his straying from the plan.

Kaz obeys.

He doesn't have to explain himself further as a leader, yet a single sentence of insistence from Inej makes him reveal more.

I've been recently reminded of the term morality pet. While I enjoy his soft spot for Inej, I don't think this particular moment is suitable for supporting the rest of the group. They're literally on a roof of Fjerdan most guarded building, barefoot, poorly clothed, and the clock is ticking.

Yeah. their history should be longer than just a year or two.

And Jesper doesn't seem happy about being left out. :(

Can't wait for the enraged crowds yelling Kaz is an awful person for LYING to his people INCLUDING the woman he'll claim to have feelings for just because he's not ready to share his tragic backstory.

Or not. I keep forgetting this is a cool teen criminal, not a survivor of hundreds of years of extermination attempts with revolutionary tendencies. [End of bitter Darkling stan rant]

He's not afraid to admit a mistake, but he won't offer the truth.

[unnervinglyferal]

List of European countries and why I hate them, in alphabetical order:

Albania - I've never heard fucking anything about the people here, do you people even do anything save for having beef with everyone else in the Balkans. Fuck you.

Andorra - I don't think this place is even a real country. It's like the size of my dick. Fuck you.

Austria - You know what you did. Fuck you.

Belarus - Sucking Russia's dick just for the novelty of getting to be featured in their ongoing cringe compilation. An utter embarrassment. Fuck you.

Belgium - If there's two things I hate, it's colonialist brutality and the fucking smurfs. Fuck you.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Despite all the rest of their shitshow, at least the rest of the Balkans can at least agree whether they're one country or two countries. Make up your minds. Fuck you.

Bulgaria - The best thing you've got going on is the yoghurt and even that isn't as good as the greek ones. Fuck you.

Croatia - Out of all the countries in Europe whose existence I had literally forgot about, this is the oldest and the largest. How do you trace your history back to the fucking antiquity and only barely seem to exist at all? Fuck you.

Cyprus - I actually had to google to check that Cyprus isn't just a part of Greece, but apparently you gained independence from the UK in 1960? How the fuck are you in Europe and get colonized by Europe. Fuck you.

Czech Republic - Your main export is utterly unpronounceable last names. There's a reason why you can't shouldn't be allowed to put five consonants in a row. Fuck you.

Denmark - Annoyingly smug golden retriever-ass mushy-faced fucks. If I pressed my open palm into a dane's face, it would ooze through my fingers because these mushy fucks don't have bones.

Estonia - The bitter, prettier and smarter sister to Finland who is passive-aggressively better at everything but still doesn't get the same attention. Finns show up to your shores to raid the booze stores, vomit on everything, and leave, and you just let them. Fuck you.

Finland - An entire nation of spoiled ivory tower whiners who just will not understand how good they have it. The entire country would die out by mass suicide if things ever got half as bad as they are in the rest of the world. Fuck you.

France - The only reason why the french aren't known as an equal mass of colonialist brutes as the brits are is the language barrier. They're just as stupid but you'll never know what they're thinking because they consider learning another language to be beneath them. Fuck you.

Georgia - The americans stole your name and put it on a state and you just fucking let them. Now we have to hear about their utter lack of understanding of geography every single time some shit happens at your borders. Fuck you.

Germany - I'm jewish. And looking at your involvement in Israel, I'm starting to think you people don't really even care that much whose side you're on, if there's a genocide happening anywhere, you just like to be included. Fuck you.

Greece - You have like 4000 years of recorded history verifying that you've spent that entire time thinking you're smarter and prettier than anyone else in the whole world. You specifically invented the word hubris to describe yourselves. Fuck you.

Hungary - I'm pretty sure that you guys are the reason why people think all of Europe is a backwards shithole. Fuck you.

Iceland - The only reason you people can dedicate all of your time in inbreeding ponies and people is because your climate is so miserable that nobody wants to move there. Fuck you.

Ireland - Your climate is just as wet and miserable as Iceland, but you still got colonized by the english. Fuck you.

Italy - I've never met an italian who was capable of doing anything in a punctual and organized way. Imagining a whole country being run by italians seems impossible. Like having 15 cats successfully operating a tank. Fuck you.

Kosovo - What the fuck even is the Balkans. You guys don't even have your own language. Fuck you.

Latvia - Like Estonia without any of the good parts. Fuck you.

Liechtenstein - This isn't even a real country, this is just the quarantine containment where Switzerland ships the people who are too annoying for Switzerland. Fuck you.

Lithuania - The most boring of the Baltics. Fuck you.

Luxembourg - There is no way this place is fucking real. The fuck do you mean your citizens are called luxembourgers. The fuck do you mean your official language is luxembourgish. What the fuck is any of this. Fuck you.

Malta - Same thing as Liechtenstein, but for all surrounding countries around the Mediterranean sea. Fuck you.

Moldova - How and why is there a tiny-ass country the size of my dick on the border of the Balkans. How does this exist. Fuck you.

Monaco - This isn't a real country, it's a french ploy for tax evasion. Fuck you.

Montenegro - Oh won't you look at that, another teeny tiny Balkan country. Montenegrin is the stupidest name I've ever heard for a language, that sounds like a comedy bit. Fuck you.

Netherlands - Fuck your weed and fuck your bicycles. Fuck you.

North Macedonia - This also feels like a country they just made up just to make the list of European countries longer. Fuck you.

Norway - Fuck your oil and fuck you.

Poland - Your main export is far right politics and porn-addicted communist furry femboys. Fuck you.

Portugal - Spain but a little bit to the left. The only way to tell the spanish and the portugese apart is by whether they get mad when you call them spanish. Fuck you.

Romania - Get your fucking shit together. Fuck you.

Russia - Fuck you.

San Marino - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate less because it only contains tax evaders.

Serbia - The only thing I know about Serbia is A Serbian Film. Fuck that film and fuck you for making me remember it.

Slovakia - The wettest, saddest slavs of all the slavs of Europe. Fuck you.

Slovenia - Slovene is the second-stupidest name I've ever heard for a language. Fuck you.

Spain - I have no idea how the fuck a people who are as disorganized as italians managed to also be as competent as france and britain at colonialism. Fuck you.

Sweden - As smug and mushy as danes and as inbred as icelanders. Fuck you.

Switzerland - You know what you did. And continue doing. Fuck you.

Ukraine - You wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you hadn't trusted Soviet Union's pinky promise to never invade. A russian's promise is not worth the oxygen it wastes. You guys are cool but nonetheless, fuck you.

United Kingdom - Fuck you smug bastards for everything.

Vatican City - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate more because it contains the pope. Fuck you.

[princesssarisa]

@faintingheroine

I'm feeling tempted to write an essay about Wuthering Heights that compares Catherine Linton to the title character of Sleeping Beauty.

Like the princess in most adaptations of that tale, she's lively and playful, and she's had too sheltered an upbringing and is eager for new adventures and companionship. As with the fairy tale's King and Queen, Edgar's sheltering ends up leading her straight into the trap he wants to protect her from, because she's too naïve to beware of it. Her months of imprisonment at Wuthering Heights and her becoming bitter and cold can also be viewed as her equivalent of the enchanted sleep, while her ultimate healing and joy with Hareton is her "awakening." When I watched the Czech film How to Wake a Princess, I particularly felt Cathy II vibes from Princess Růženka – probably in part because of her love for nature, and in part because in that version she's also in a love triangle with two young men, one sickly and prissy, the other her more down-to-earth true love. And like Sleeping Beauty, Cathy II's journey can also be seen to mirror both the universal process of growing up and the changing of seasons in nature, a la the myth of Persephone.

We all know that Wuthering Heights has some fairy tale-ish qualities but this is one analogy I've never read before. Of course the funny part of it is that Heathcliff corresponds to the evil fairy/Maleficent.

[jjtheclown555]

The Beauty of Death

tw. minor descriptions of blood, passive suicidal ideation

content. nikolai went hunting, bringing reader back to his home not knowing that they are the incarnation of death

pairings. vampire!nikolai x death!reader

word count. 1.7k words

a/n. i would like to thank vari (if they see this) for the idea and gabs (if they see this) for helping me figure out where to go with the story. I wrote reader as being czech because I like to project (it's not heavily shown, just 2 pet names are in czech). Finally, I'm pretty sure reader is gender neutral but if there are any implications of reader being female please let me know so I can edit it.

Right as his fangs sunk into your skin, blood pulsing against his tongue, he pulled himself away. The crimson on his lips wasn’t warm like a human—providing heat to his forever-cold body—nor was it sweet like many other women he had taken blood from. Your blood was bitter, a poison that caused him to jolt, coughing it up with urgency.

You sit up on white sheets that had been stained with red, watching as Nikolai kneels on the ground, hunching over where he had crashed in his haste. He spits the last of your blood up, a few red drops landing on your feet. You curl your legs into your chest, eyebrows knitting together in concern about the man kneeling before you.

Nikolai glances up, face scrunching at the smell of your blood dripping from the wound he made on your neck. He stares as your hand moves to the bite mark, gently touching it and moving your blood-stained fingers in view. You smear it between your fingers, watching as it spreads along your hand. Nikolai watches, taking your hand and bringing it close, almost touching your blood to his lips once more.

“What are you?” He asks, grin surfacing with a raised brow. “Neither your blood nor your scent is that of a human. Your blood is painful. I’ve had the blood of hundreds but none have ever hurt.” He runs his thumb over your fingers, looking at the blood contrasting his pale skin. You watch as Nikolai gently plays with your hand before he looks up at you once more, forming eye contact and tilting his head as he awaits your answer. 

You reach your other arm towards him, helping him get up and sit next to you on the bed. “You said you like quizzes when you first brought me here, yes?” Nikolai begins nodding vigorously, his grin widening until you’re convinced he couldn’t possibly smile wider. “Then how about I give you three guesses to figure out what I am? Your best three guesses.” Laughter rings out and Nikolai claps his hands a few times before standing before you. He taps his chin and lets out small questioning noises.

“Another undead perhaps?” You immediately shake your head.

“Hmm. Do you take really poor care of your body?” A second

wrong answer.

He looks disappointed that he hasn’t figured it out, pouting at you. He deeply breathes, “I need to make this last one count!” You let out a small hum as you watch him pace. Nikolai scratches his head, observing you. Looking you up and down, walking around the bed to see every angle for a hint. Right as he begins analyzing you up close, his eyes instantly light up as he walks back in front of you. He does a slight spin, bowing theatrically. He tilts his head up to meet your eyes and shouts, “Aha! I think I know! You’re some kind of god, aren’t you?”

You smile, nodding your head. “Correct, Nikolai.” He cheers, fangs showing as he shouts praises for himself. He couldn’t look happier about being right. He grips your shoulders and asks question after question about what you do, how you got here, and why you’re among unholy creatures. You chuckle at his excitement, “Well to begin, I am death-”

“Like Mara? From the myths?”

You nod and he gazes at you, eyes widened in amazement. “Yes, but my name will suit me just fine.” Your lips turn up at the sight of his intrigue. “As for why I’m here, I enjoy watching the living up close. I don’t influence people's deaths—that would be needlessly cruel—but observing others and watching as they step closer and closer to their collection to the underworld is a bit of a hobby. And how I’m here,” You pause for a moment before your lips quirk up in a sly smile. “Do you really think a god couldn’t go wherever they please?”

Nikolai lets out a small chuckle, “I suppose you can do anything you want, can’t you?” He sits next to you, the bed shaking slightly under his weight. “I’m in the presence of a god, that’s something I never expected to happen in this neverending lifetime.” He inhales the scent of your blood again, a slight twinge pulling at his features as he attempts not to make a face of repulsion. “Is your blood going to be what finally kills me?”

“It won’t.” You say shuffling back to lay back against the mattress. “Not much went into your system. Were you to continue drinking despite the taste, you may have died from it if not you’d fall quite ill while I’d remain unaffected.” He hums along, kicking his legs back and forth and he processes your explanation. He bites his lip, a small amount of blood pooling from it that he quickly licks away. “I suppose you’ll have to continue hunting for food, láska, as I’m sure you’ve noticed my blood will not suffice.” 

He glances at you before pulling himself over you, caging you between his arms. “I figured the blood of a god would be heavenly, the sweetest I’d ever taste, I suppose I was wrong.” As Nikolai speaks, you look over him hovering above you. You notice every detail from the scar on his eye to the smile lines curling down his cheeks to the build of his body. For a moment, you tune him out, focusing on his strange, cold beauty. In an instant, your eyes trail up to his lips and without thinking you quickly peck them as his sentence ends. He’s startled, allowing you to shove him off of you, laughing to yourself. 

His eyes widen, mouth falling agape while his brain slowly clicks together what had happened. “The look on your face!” You cry out as laughter rings through your throat. Nikolai doesn’t respond, for a moment he is completely speechless and you fill the empty noise from him with your hysterics. He softens up as he recognizes the peck. His breathing slows as he finally processes what you had done. 

“What the hell was that for?” He shouts out, tone exasperated.

“Humour, of course.”

Nikolai huffs, “So you find it funny to mock me?” He rolls his eyes and you click your tongue. Your head tilts at his question, vaguely offended at how he took it. “You think I’m mocking you?” He nods, a disgraced pout on his face. “That’s not how I wanted you to feel in the slightest! I apologize if I offended you, it wasn’t my intention.” You smile, fidgeting with your fingers. Nikolai can’t help but notice how awkward you seem for that of a god. “You looked pretty and I wanted to do something unexpected. I intended for you to laugh with me but I suppose I read you wrong.”

His lips quiver and a cackle emits from him. “You just wanted to make me laugh? That’s so cute! You’re so adorable.” Your eyes waver and he smirks at your faulty expression. “Am I making you lose your composure? A vampire, a being of sin, with a god?” He looks down at the wound on your neck once more before meeting your eyes. “Sorry, I’m going on and you’re still bleeding. I should probably clean you up.”

You watch Nikolai get up and leave the room. You wait a few minutes for him to return, kicking your legs back and forth and humming to yourself. You see him come back in with a wet cloth so you sit up and stretch a little as he reaches over and wipes the crimson that stains your neck and fingers. “Sorry, I don’t have any bandages so this will have to do.” 

He’s unusually soft. You think. In the last few hours since you met, you saw Nikolai as a very eccentric man, always keeping you on your toes but in this moment he’s quiet, gentle, sweet even.

“Do you know what I want more than anything?” He asks, pulling you out of your trance. You tilt your head, asking what it is he wishes for. “Freedom.” A soft twitch of his lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you as the cloth continues to glide against your skin. “I wish to know what it takes to reach that freedom, to be as free as a dove flying through the skies rather than one trapped within a golden cage. I attempted to rid myself of my emotions, I killed the loved ones who trapped me in that cage…” He hesitates, “I killed my dearest friend, the only one who understood me truly.” You don’t know how to feel, whether to feel pity, or empathy, or to remain indifferent. “Even after all of that, I still feel trapped by my humanity. After hundreds of years in this world, trying to free myself, I’m still stuck in that cage.”

“Would death free me?”

Your heart cracks, you swear you can feel it. You swear you can hear it. A twinge and a small breaking noise. You know there are ways for vampires to be killed and you’re sure he knows too. You fear for him. You see death daily. You enjoy witnessing as people reach the inevitable, but you can feel that the two of you meeting may have shifted his death date. “Death can’t free you. All death will do is trap you further, leaving you in the underworld for the rest of eternity…” You trail off and silence falls between you both. It’s deafening, neither of you can bear it. You’re the one to break it though, with a quick statement, the kind that leaves him thinking everything and nothing all at once. “Your freedom shouldn’t be in spite of your emotions or your love. Your freedom should be a piece of it.” You cup his cheeks, “So fly, můj milovaný, like those doves you love so much.” You kiss his cheek. It’s cold. But it feels nice. “Your freedom is close. I can feel it.”

You get off the bed, slow steps reaching the doorway where, for a second, you turn back to him. “I should go, Nikolai, but you can just call my name if you want to see me again.” You walk out the door and he hears you skip down the hall, loud thumps as you walk down the stairs. “Okay, Mara-” A short pause before he whispers out. “I mean, Y/N, moya ptashka.”

[hanzajesthanza]

Happy birthday!! Just wanna say while I'm here that you are truly the no.1 Witcher scholar and I love your work, and also I actually find it very moving that even though you are not Polish and don't speak Polish, you treat the books with such respect and deep understanding of the culture and language!! I wish everyone engaged with the works that they love in this way. I'm Polish but I'd since moved away and have a lot of bitterness towards the social environments I grew up in, but the Witcher is the one thing from Poland I truly love and makes me feel connected to my heritage and idk I just love your work sorry for the long message!

oh thank you!! i am so flattered by your words 😅 all i can say is, i try my best, of course! and a short essay response incoming...

the witcher is not only a translated work, but a multilingual and multicultural/national community, fanbase, and the american fanbase from which i'm coming is a relatively new development in the broader fanbase, especially as it relates to the books. it's more complex than how i'll phrase it here, but, essentially when you're in the fandom of the witcher books, you're in a predominantly polish other slavic language speaking space, even if you only speak english, because the books were created in polish and the whole thing has had over 30 years to gain traction and fans in poland and other slavic language speaking countries.

(i think there tends to be a certain level of entitlement from people, alright, americans whose primary language is english, where it is expected that everything be in english - you hear it all the time, stories of tourists going to a different country and demand english be spoken for everything for them. while english is indeed commonly spoken in poland, i think it would be a bit ridiculous, bringing it back to the witcher fandom, to expect every online interaction and material you come across to be in english, and expect to never use polish sources or look at the original text in polish. it may not be something you're skilled in or know about, but it's an opportunity for you to learn and ask questions. just embrace that, strive for understanding, even if you don't have any which you're beginning with. being prepared to be wrong and mistaken, being willing and open to being corrected. so, treating with respect and striving to better understand cultures which one doesn't belong to should be step one, i hope, at least in this community!)

i don't believe that there is such a thing as an english side of the fanbase which stands on its own separate from the original polish (and czech and russian, the first two languages witcher was translated into) fanbase(s), because the english fanbase was seeded and encouraged by these fans, a good portion of whom were bilingual and helped the fanbase grow by posting in english, gaining visibility and encouraging others to join and read the books. so you can't really have the english fandom without the polish fandom, it's like a branch off of a tree. and, with the majority of lifelong, or in other capacity dedicated and passionate, fans, coming from poland, and some of these fans also engaging in english-speaking places online, we're going to share ideas and end up admiring each other and becoming friends! and there's, again as always, a lot you can learn from your friends.

addressing the witcher as a work specifically, its identity is inseparable from its written language. with translations to other slavic languages, there's not an exceptional amount lost, but when it comes to english... well... though the story is there (except for a few glaring errors), there's not only lot of language-specific word choice, wordplay, and jokes that are lost in the english language and especially in the the official translation (which was crafted, i think to be as much of an "easy read" for an english reader as possible, and not to preserve sapkowski's style, character, and vocabulary), but also because a lot of the cultural phenomenon, celebration, element, described in the books, simply doesn't exist for the english reader and is untranslatable without an explanation of the context and history. sapkowski, who speaks italian, has mentioned the saying "traduttore, traditore," (translator, traitor) in interviews.

for just a few examples, torque at the end of the short story "edge of the world" saying "goodnight" being the perfect end to the story, because of the saying where the devil says goodnight. or the saovine tradition of burning straw falka dolls resembling the burning (or drowning) of marzanna effigies. and, also related to saovine, the offerings of honey, groats, and vodka for spirits being a mirror image of dziady. all of this is something that's not common knowledge for the english reader, it's stuff i learned about by looking it up, or having a conversation about, or reading a forum page online, or learned however, but learning about it made my enjoyment of the story a lot richer because i could (in part) go back and appreciate the depth of realism and familiarity woven into the world. and the act of seeking that out, or having that conversation, the act of learning itself was rewarding, to satisfy curiosity and engage my mind and social brain.

also just, a lot of the time, i'm trying to figure out where sapkowski's mind was at when he wrote some of this stuff, or who are these characters and what are these characters feeling, and all we have of them, to understand them, is their words. and the official translation isn't able to translate word for word. so looking at the polish edition and working through the sentence to translate (and looking into the nuances in definitions of words and phrases), i've found, can really help my reading comprehension and interpretation of the scene or character.

of course, sapkowski was taking "paneuropean" inspiration from multiple different cultures, not all of them slavic, a lot of them western european, weaving all these different fantasy and folktale sources together to create something diversely culturally rich. but as an english reader, i was motivated to seek out, "how does that line originally go in polish?" or "what's the original folktale sapkowski is referencing here?" because it just makes it that much more fun! it's part of the fun! of course an english reader could just pick up the books, breeze through them, and get a lot of enjoyment out of that, but without investigating any of the language or culture, it remains surface-level enjoyment. it's so rewarding to be able to exist in a community and friend circles that are positive towards learning and teaching in a casual way, it has made the witcher a lot more than just books for me. and all i'm doing personally is just having fun and learning as i go!

[beelper-owo]

I am now going to post my SCP OCs because I want to and I'm procrastinating from important thing

SCP OCs list:

Isekai'd reality-bending mad scientist looking for cure for her condition creates two test subjects that she gets way too attached to. Abandons said subjects after surprise Foundation visit. Succumbs to powers and fucking DIES (Thanks GOC). (Alice; Named for "Alison" by Elvis Costello)

Failed experiment #2 has attachment issues and is a very willing test subject. Creator/"Mother" made him functionally immortal to try and preserve experiment/not lose data/not die because of ritual to preserve Failed experiment #1/not die because of Failed experiment #1. (Jack/Jack Flash; Named for "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones; DO NOT CONFUSE WITH THE OTHER FUCKER NAMED JACK, I WROTE THIS CHARACTER IN 9TH GRADE)

Failed experiment #1 speedruns that one GOC manual thingy. Starts drawing attention to Creator/"Mother". Last straw was when someone almost hit him on a bike, to which he responds by flicking the wheel to turn in front of an oncoming car. Creator sedates him, can't bring herself to kill him, and decides to try storing his soul in his younger brother, Failed experiment #2. Failed experiment #2 is not doing too well because of it. (Jules/Julian; Named for "Hey Jude" by The Beatles)

Failed experiment #2's therapist and friend. Sweet catholic lady. Very accepting. Not anomalous. Great with kids. Friends-to-Close friends-to-Lovers relationship with Former MTF agent. (Valerie Rose; The name sounded pretty, and she is pretty. :3)

Former MTF agent is currently a security guard. Not anomalous. Mixed race Venuzualan-Italian. Parents are first-generation immigrants to America, and therefore he has triple citizenship and is tri-lingual. Will curse you out in all three languages. Nice to his friends, standoffish to others. Was a US Army Ranger before joining the Foundation as an MTF. Got an injury (still deciding what injury) and was placed on security guard duty. Overworked himself, made the injury worse, and is now permanently on security guard duty. Very bitter about it. Friends with Failed experiment #2, Failed experiment #2's therapist, Frankish vampire, and Cursed doctor. (Jean Rocco; Idk I came up with the last name and it sounded cool)

Frankish vampire born 24 years after the fall of the Western Roman empire. Averse to human blood. Survived by living out of caves, sewers, catacombs, etc. and feeding on animal blood. Born with condition, symptoms developed as he aged. Left village after killing a cat out of desperation and hunger. Speaks a mix of Frankish and Medieval Latin. Eventually learns some French as territories/places/people expand. Learns English after being captured by the Foundation in October 2009. Friends with Failed experiment #2, Former MTF agent, and Cursed doctor. (Bertric Bertram; Bert-: "Bright", -ric: "Powerful", -ram: "Active")

Cursed doctor is a medical doctor who accidently pissed off a thaumaturgist and was cursed to go into a trance-like state everyday and carry someone to a random distance away from their original position. Was picked up by the Foundation after the curse led to him getting assault and attempted kidnapping charges. Has chronic pain from being shot in the side during one of these instances. Staff have to be warned everytime he moves to a different site in order to prevent him from being murdered. Is friends with Failed experiment #2, Former MTF agent, and Frankish vampire. (David Dopravce; Dopravce is Czech for "carrier", "hauler", "forwarder", or "conveyer", according to Google Translate)

[bogkeep]

foreign country ask game: 8, 29, 18?

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

every scandinavian gets confused with which scandinavian country they're from, so i've been mistaken for swedish or danish by Everyone Outside Of Scandinavia plenty of times haha. also finnish - when i worked a couple summer seasons at a café up in northern norway, all of my coworkers were finns and a lot of the bus drivers and visitors were finns, so they all spoke finnish at me assuming i too, would understand.

an interesting twist is how many norwegians have thought i'm foreign! which is half true, since my mother is czech and i speak the language and all that, but a lot of people have had some kind of HMMM YOU DON'T SEEM FULLY NORWEGIAN WHERE ARE YOU FROMMMMM attitude towards me. is it the autism? sometimes it's because people don't understand how my name is theodor and think it must be a feminine name in another language. so it goes. maybe it's the dialect thing, which leads me to -

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

i do! norway has really distinct and diverse dialects which makes anyone speaking Correct Bokmål sound like an alien (oslo isn't real. oslo can't hurt me). where i was born, the Far North, has a very distinct and beautiful dialect that has a saami/finnish lilt to it, but since my family moved south when i was like 4 years old i wasn't able to hold on to it. this can probably be said for every archetypical norwegian dialect, but the trøndelag area dialect is often imitated for comedic purposes and it always felt to me like it doesn't get taken very seriously and just got this unfortunate vibe to it. when Baby Haiz tried to pick up on a lot of words and sounds from local kindergarteners, adults tended to point out changes in my speech which made me really self-conscious about it, which in turn made me try to NOT pick up on the dialect, leading me with a sort of washed out trønder dialect with traces of northern influence and a LOT of internalized shame about it. didn't help when middle school classmates would laugh at me for the way i intonated words like 'corn' or something. AUTISM NIGHTMARE. everyone from the south read me as a trønder, people in trøndelag can be a bit 50/50 on it, and people from northern norway somehow clock my remnants of finnmarking. and i just repeat 'hæ?' at everyone regardless where they're from because i've got ~*Auditory Processing Disorder*~

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

not that i know of tbh! i do think northern norway as a whole harbors some easily warranted bitterness from being neglected by the government in the south and having to suffer stupid political decisions made by people in oslo who have no idea what it's like up there, but that's... normal country stuff probably hahaha

[redwineconversation]

Welcome, Ghosts (Slavia Prague - Olympique Lyonnais Postgame Thoughts)

"No, we haven't forgotten. We think of it as motivation."

That's what Danielle van de Donk said in the postgame interview when asked if the loss against Chelsea has been pushed aside.

I called it at the time. I said it would keep them up at night, bring back the insomnia they both hate so much and yet crave at the time. They're better like this, angry and bitter and desperate to satisfy their bloodlust. They need something to get angry about because that allows them to reveal their true nature.

They're better for it, really, when they're pissed off. They see more clearly. Their passing is crisper, faster. The goals are more clinical. The defense is cleaner. In a weird way that maybe monsters only truly understand, the only way this team can be truly happy if when they have a blow torch in their hands and the world is starting to shrink back in fear. Monsters recognize monsters, after all.

You can argue that Slavia Prague doesn't have the same pedigree as Lyon and therefore the score is misleading. Sure, I will give you that. I'm not sure any alleged fan of WoSo would be able to cite a player from Slavia Prague without googling it first. But, you only beat the team that's in front of you. You have to play the team, not the club, or else you have to admit the consequences. Wendie Renard said as much in the pregame press conference.

And it's not like Slavia Prague is a bad team. They're honestly not. I think a lot of the pearl clutching is unwarranted because it was based on the false equivalency of "if I have not heard of this team or league then it must be bad." Slavia Prague had won all of their league games coming into this game. Slavia Prague had a considerable number of Czech international players on their team. Slavia Prague had also a history of playing in the Champions League.

if you want to talk about Lyon's "easy" group, then talk about what made it happen. Talk about Arsenal treating the qualifying game like a preseason game against a farmer's league team and how they got their ass handed to them. Talk about Wolfsburg not knowing better when they really should have. If those two teams aren't in the group stages, it's because they rolled up and thought a team WoSo had to google - and even then did so incorrectly - and thought that team would blink. They were sloppy, they were careless, and that's why Lyon is booking flights to Norway and Austria instead of England and Germany.

But this isn't about hubris.

This is about a vexed, vengeful benefactor having given in to their blood lust and not particularly caring anymore about being reformed.

This is Lyon, really. A monster in search of satisfying their bloodlust simply because they were wrong a year ago. This is Lyon without the restraints caused by crippling injuries. This is who they are underneath all the pretenses: a team of vexed players who are annoyed people are no longer bowing in front of this ruthless killing machine.

I'm not sure when, exactly, the game was won. 3-0, probably. 4-0 for sure. But Lyon scored more because they could, because this is who they are, really: vexed, vengeful, wronged, they wanted the world to know payments are finally due. Debts must be paid, and Lyon doesn't particularly care who they have to ruthlessly dismantle for that to happen. Bow down or feel the consequences. For Lyon, it's that simple.

It wasn't a perfect performance - Hegerberg was sloppy at best, the kindest thing I can say about Becho is that she completed passes - and I think that's important to really emphasize. Not all 11 players played a perfect game the way they did against Barcelona in May 2022. But we saw the old Lyon, really, the one who made people uncomfortable. A lot of the players were "good" simply because they were playing the way Lyon is when dangerous: happy, carefree, and with a score to settle.

It's early in the season. it's so, so early, and so much can change. November 14, 2023 does not tell us anything about how things will look in May 2024. But what it does tell us is how things could go. We know what Lyon is capable of now, of what their intentions are.

May 2024 is so far away. There are so many games to be played between now and then, so, so many things can - and probably will - go wrong. But we have something in the meantime: a vexed, vengeful monster coming in from the rain, with their dark eyes, looking like themselves again.

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I missed my ruthless killing machine. Welcome back. I love the color red on you, let's see what we can do with that.

[flavor-aid-sekt]

Snacks in Czechia

4.05.2024

When in other countries, I always try to eat something local. Sometimes it's just one dish, but in Prague, my friends and I mostly ate typical Czech dishes. I want to describe my favorites. I found the first place actually by accident and it was good that we looked there out of curiosity. The restaurant "Bistro Knedlin" serves delicious knedlíky. These are flour buns cooked in steamed dough. The ones here came with a sweet or salty filling. The choice was huge: of the sweet ones, for example, strawberry, pistachio, raspberry, coconut, or mango, and of the sweet ones with cheese or meat. The knedliki are fresh and prepared on the spot. I chose the Kinder chocolate-flavored ones and the cherry ones, while Laura chose the blueberry and chocolate ones. The knedliki were served on tiny sweet plates. The queues at the checkout were long, and everyone wanted to try them. Some even took large sets to go. When the knedliki were pressed with a fork, they burst and the delicious filling poured out. A delicious sweet, and very cheap too.

We also found another venue by chance. Its name was 'U Laury' and all in all, that was enough to go there. The bar had a lovely hidden garden, and as the weather was nice, we went there. Here we ate Czech knedle, which are knedliki served with goulash. The dough is made from potatoes or wheat flour. A cylinder is formed from the dough, cooked in salted water, and cut into slices. They taste a bit like bread, they're fluffy and I dipped them in stew sauce. I don't eat pork often, but the one served here was quite good. It's not a dish I would eat every day, but I understand why knedle are so popular. On the premises, the staff were also lovely. I asked for a dish without onions and there was no problem. I wonder if they would taste good with a different sauce.

The final rarity this time is a drink. The Czech Republic is known for its good beer, so we stopped at a bar in the evening. My friends each ordered a Czech beer. I don't like it, but Laura and Ada gave it a try and for me it was too bitter. Instead, I discovered something much better - a drink called Beton. I took it as a joke because the name means concrete in Polish. And it was surprisingly good and refreshing. The drink consists of a tonic and Becherovka, an herbal liqueur. This is a strong alcohol made right here in the Czech Republic. I read that it is used to make many drinks. And the one I drank was trivially simple, and tasty. I even ordered it in two different pubs because I liked it so much. Both the lighter and the stronger versions are great. Next time I'm in the Czech Republic I must buy myself a bottle of Becherovka. With the alcohol, the girls and I waited for the evening to go to the Charles Bridge again. While drinking we made silly videos to remember the trip. It was a pleasant end to the day, as we kept exploring and walking through the city.

[metalliceyepoker]

So 'Ethan' is Hebrew name, and means 'firm, strong, and enduring'. Our persevering protagonist. Fitting huh?

'Donna' is Italian, meaning 'Lady' or 'woman'. If it's 'Don', that's for male, meaning 'Lord' or 'gentleman' winkwonk. It says at wiki that the surname 'Beneviento' came from the Italian town, 'Benevento', which means 'good wind'.

'Salvatore'. Italian origin name. Means 'saviour'. It's theorized that his family were doctors, so makes sense. 'Moreau' is from old French! Means 'dark-skinned'.

Now 'Karl'...... very ironic name. And I am nothing if not a lover for ironies. Because that's german name meaning 'free man'. His surname is pretty interesting too, because, you see, 'Eisenberg' means 'Iron Mountain'. His boss battle winkwonk. 'Berg' means mountain. 'Heißen' could mean 'Hot' or 'to call'. Hot mountain. Fucking volcano amirite.

Rosemary, the herb, it symbolizes remembrance. Put it on the coffin, and it means the memory of the deceased shall never fade. It also means honoring the fallen.

Mia went MIA for 3 years aha-

'Mia' has many origins. Latin/spanish/Italian origin says 'mine'. Welp ethan's cold dead ass sure ain't yours no mo-

Hebrew origin says 'bitter'. Hmmmmm.

Sorry I just, really can't understand why the fuck she'd lie, twice, to her loyal, loving husband like that who went through hell for her, a normal, boring IT guy who did all that for his family and her lie costed him his life- didn't even tell him he's a walking corpse- had he known, would he still had mold bebe? Was the whole Village incident preventable?

It was your fault to work for a crime syndicate and lie to your husband! And get him killed! Trauma? Don't wanna talk about it? Well at least you owed it to him to let him know he's dead. Dead. For 3 years you hid it. Had an infected kid with him. Who ultimately got detected in Miranda's radar. He died for her. Your daughter is forever tormented because of her power and trauma. And lack of father. Ffs. What you crying for. Smh.

Got derailed from frustration. Ahem.

'Miranda' is Latin origin. 'To be wondered at', 'Worthy of admiration'. Truly, the priestess of the Black God.

'Eva' means 'life' or 'living one'. Again, interesting name.

Elena the village girl, Greek origin, her name means shining light. That got snuffed out in blazing fire. Her father, Leonardo, sure was Strong as Lion when he tore through those people. Also their surname Lupu means wolf. Lol.

'Lulian', the one who points gun at your face, his name is Romanian origin. It means 'youthful man'.

The owner of the grave at Beneviento mansion, Claudia, that name means 'lame'. As in, crippled. Imagine Donna having had someone she cared about. Someone wheelchair bound. All the more heartbreaking.

'Angie' means 'messenger' or 'messenger of god'. What's with these names and symbolism hm capcom?

Ooh almost forgot Dimitrescu family! A sin punishable by gutting from long claws.

That surname means, 'follower of Demeter'. Yes that Greek goddess of fertility. 'Alcina' is Greek origin, meaning 'strong willed, opinionated', but it also says that it is from a poem. Beautiful sorcerer who ruled over the world.

Oh would you look at that? Hebrew origin of 'Bela' means 'devouring' or 'destructive'! Czech origin says 'white'. Well she is quite pale. And very hungry.

'Daniela' means, 'God is my judge'.

'Cassandra'? 'The one who shines and excels over men'. Loud and clear Cassie.

You know the big lycan with hammer? Uriaş? Yeah his name is Romanian. It means 'huge' or 'giant'.

Vâlcolac is Romanian for werewolf, Moroaică and Samcă are both from folklore, and Cadou is Romanian for 'gift'. Yeah some gift it is.

And that's about it. I'm loving all these symbolism. Intentional or not, it makes writing so much better.

[smokyvrbada]

For the prompt thingie 2) and Bi-Han :)

Hey lovely! I'm so so sorry about the delay, got behind on some college stuff 😕 but anyways, here are some of my favorite personal hc's I have for our favorite grumpy cryomancer <3 Hope you enjoy!

❄Favorite Bi-Han HC's❄

Warnings: brief suggestive themes, mentions of blood + violence + death, very brief mentions of anatomy, mentions of abuse, slight angst, Bi-Han being a lovable asshole

Bi-Han is a surprisingly good swimmer, and he also taught Kuai how to swim in their youth too. Sometimes after a long and grueling mission, he'll seek out some of the frozen lakes and streams around the temple and take a dip to wash away the blood and grime. Just imagine him skinny-dipping in clear frozen water oml

Learning languages is one of the Lin Kuei's top priorities when it comes to molding assassins besides brutality, as it helps efficiency when going to other countries to get intel and carry out missions. With that being said, Bi-Han is multilingual, speaking fluent Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese primarily) and English. He can also understand basic Czech phrases (thanks Tomas) and the bulk of Japanese.

When Bi-Han was a younger student, the only people that he associated himself with (besides his brother) were Hydro and previously Sektor. What was once a friendly rivalry with Sektor became bitter jealously as they grew older, it only escalated further when Bi-Han became Sub-Zero. Hydro was a mentor and sort of like an older brother to Bi-Han; he disappeared when Bi-Han was in his late teens, and only the Grandmaster seems to know what happened to him.

Most of Bi-Han's scars are on his torso and arms. Some of the smaller ones on his forearms and hands mainly come from punishments he endured while he was young, but most of them are from mission-related injuries. When Bi-Han freezes himself or just parts of his body, very rarely the sharp edges of the ice can leave small, accidental cuts; this happened more often when he was still mastering his abilities.

He also has one tattoo on his forearm; it's the Lin Kuei symbol in his shade of blue, but it's small and always hidden under his arm garments (I remember seeing Lin Kuei warriors with the symbol tattooed on them in MK Conquest?? and I do think they mark warriors in that way).

After Bi-Han took up the mantle of Sub-Zero, some problems rose between him and the higher ranking Lin Kuei (mainly Sektor). With Bi-Han essentially becoming the pinnacle of the Lin Kuei, it also meant that Kuai would be left at risk in the lower ranks. Although Bi-Han went on to become a colder version of himself during his time as Sub-Zero, he still looked after and protected Kuai Liang (and sometimes Smoke) under wraps. Even after Bi-Han's passing, Kuai still remembers his narrow escapes of punishment that wouldn't be possible without someone pulling strings.

Everyone knows if or when Bi-Han is around because the temperature drops immediately. I'd like to think that cryomancy heavily based on emotions well; so if Bi-Han is in a relatively good mood, very light ice forms around and the temperature of a room drops steadily. But if Bi-Han is very pissed off or in an extreme amount of stress, thick layers of ice begin to form around, and sometimes icicles and frost form on his skin. This makes it hard sometimes on missions, because targets begin to feel like something is wrong from the sudden coldness.

[dalliancekay]

I'll read the other reblogs when I'm off work, but just quickly - fab post and thank you. I hope we get to know what happened with Crowley's Fall. We assume he joined Lucifer and the guys because of the complaints we saw him make to Az when they met and that Azi told him to be careful about (how did Az already know to be anxious?) but we don't know exactly how the whole thing went down. What was Lucifer's complaint? Why did Crolwey join? Did he join or was he in the wrong place at wrong time as he says? Did Lucifer lie to him? Was Lucifer trying to fix Heaven or did he just want to run the place? Because, I agree, Crowley was probably hoping to, or if not that, hoping the new place will be better (and what bitter disappointment that was). You know, as I keep seeing people sort of (overtly or not) accuse Aziraphale of being stupid for wanting to change the system and not leaving.... and I keep saying that there is nowhere to go.... What do people have in mind when they say that? They could go to Alpha Centauri, sure, for a what? Romantic weekend? 5 years? First of all, there's nothing to do there, second of all, as you astutely say, they will be leaving Earth and humanity behind to burn and also, the whole Universe is supposed to go down with Earth. It's what Aziraphale tells Crowley in Before the Beginning. 'Shutting this all down' seems pretty clear to me.

There is nowhere for them to go. So saying Az is stupid for staying is just so illogical to me I have no way of trying to comprehend it. It's not like he's stuck in a totalitarian system in Czech Republic in the 60s but he could try and run across the border if he's brave enough to admit he lives in an awful place. That's not his story. I don't know if he can fix the system. But he will try. What I think will happen is that he (and Crowley) will uproot it, maybe dismantle it, maybe change it into something else. But to require to know (and want) that of Aziraphale (the not just making it better, changing it completely) before he tries that from his new position seems to me like asking a random good person on Earth to change the laws of the Universe because this one sucks for most people. It's just not something anyone could think to do. It's not something that's possible. Until Aziraphale will do it of course. Not sure I got my point across, but I'll try to revise this later.

i wasn't gonna add anything to the conversation because i often feel aziraphale and crowley, as characters, are too big for words but here i am anyway:

you wanna know the funny part about the final fifteen of good omens? aziraphale is right, actually

(and this isn't just a defense or explanation of his character or actions)

look - crowleys plan has always been "lets run away together" because that's what happened to him. he saw that the system of heaven didn't work, tried to fix it, and was shut out. he said "okay, you don't want my help. i'll never try to fix you again." and i do think that perspective is worth discussing. i do think sometimes all you can do is leave. but lets not forget what crowley would be leaving behind: earth and everything on it

listen - aziraphales plan has always been "work within the system" because that's all he's ever known. he's so good at hiding and finding loopholes that he thinks he's good enough to fix heaven, especially once he's in the hot seat. he says "we can make a difference" and our hearts break for crowley because we relate to his perspective more, but is aziraphale even wrong? and don't they - an angel and demon that built, lived in, fell in love with, and are watching the falling apart of the world - have a responsibility to try? furthermore, who will save it if not them?

[brews-and-pubs]

Bullfinch Brewpub, Syracuse NY

2 November 2022

I'm on my way to Ohio for a long weekend of R&R and decided once again to do a half-day's drive to Syracuse before continuing to my destination. I've even been to the Destiny USA Mall here, visiting the World of Beer a couple of years ago. But now there's a new brewpub in town and it's also in this large mall.

Bullfinch is a family-owned craft brewery with a farm as well, so all the food is farm-to-table. The attention to detail definitely shows! As to the space they're in, I almost wonder whether they took over a different establishment's spot as it reminds me an awful lot of a chain of brewpubs I've been to in other places ...

I started off with a flight of four which I'll describe from left-to-right:

Find Familiar FEST - this is an Amber Lager at 5.8% that is their nod to Oktoberfest. It was interesting -- not outstanding in any way, but by its subtlety, perhaps the best of the lot. It was definitely one I could have repeated.

Modify Memory - a NEIPA at 8%, they bill this as "pushing the bounds of hoppy bitterness," but I didn't find that to be the case at all. Instead, the higher alcohol content provided a sweetness that, combined with the NEIPA flavors, made this a very well-balanced brew. Even though I'm not always a fan of the higher ABV beers, this was easily my favorite of the four.

Fog Cloud - another NEIPA, but only 6.5% this time, this was very good, but honestly, it was so much like every other very good NEIPA out there. In spite of how much I liked it, I wouldn't have done a second simply because I could get this taste at many brewpubs throughout the Northeast.

Insight Czech - this Czech Pilsner at 6% started out as my favorite of the flight but ended up my least favorite. Why? I'm still not sure, but something about it didn't wear well with me -- it seemed too edgy in the end almost as if it were being served before its time.

Their food menu is not huge but everything sounded so good. I fell for the Reuben which they make with brisket (and yes, that sealed the deal!). Rather than the standard chips, I decided it wouldn't hurt me to have a side salad, which I ordered with Bleu Cheese dressing as usual ... and the salad then came with a liberal sprinkling of crumbled Bleu Cheese in addition to what was in the dressing! The brisket was so tender and tasty; my only complaint would be that I had to use my knife and fork for the sandwich, but that's a real nit-picky complaint. The taste was just marvelous and the last bite was every bit as good as the first (and that can't be said about a lot of restaurant food).

At this point, I really debated what to do for a follow-on pint. I was so tempted to repeat one of the selections from the flight but I was also glad I didn't because otherwise I would have missed out on this beauty:

That's their Hex Hefe, a traditional German-style Hefeweizen at 5.2%. I don't always like this style, but this one was so flavorful and true to the German traditions that I was really glad to close out this visit with it.

I'm not a fan of Syracuse in general, but if I find myself back in this area again - and I most likely will - I'll definitely plan a return to Bullfinch.

[plantcrazy]

May I ask why NZ? It looks nice to live in but it's honestly corrupt, I've been trying to get out of here for ages

Sure, it's a long one tho.

(You might want some popcorn for this:🍿)

Well, to my understanding my parents wanted to move here since they got married in the 90s, and I know the earliest I remember hearing about it was... I must have been in Year 6. A friend had asked me about the rumours on a school trip.

My family moved from the Isle of Man. My dad's family moved to the island from England when he was 15, and my mum's from the Czech Republic; We're not locals.

We are a family of growers. My dad worked on the family farm and mum joined him when they got married (, the nightmare which is my dad's dysfunctional side and mistreatment is stuff I'll skip over).

For multiple reasons, they left the farm to open a plant nursery (A garden centre that grows its own plants) in 1998.

Said nursery actually did really well, supplying plants for housing developments and retail, until 2008 when the financial and housing market crashed, which the Island never recovered from. I'm the middle daughter of my parents, so I'm lucky to just remember a year or two before the crash and then afterwards.

People got tight on money. It was already a greedy island and this just made it worse. I remember my parents used to walk to the gate to check the neighbours hadn't changed the sign to 'closed' we could have so few sales some days.

It's called 'Manx Crap'.

Essentially it's this idea that 'you're doing better than me, so I won't support you' sort of thing, and the fact we're not locals, our nurseries land came with a rather large house didn't help. People didn't see my parents work long hours 7 days a week with no staff, no holidays or family trips out. They just saw the big house and nursery.

Our first family holiday was moving to New Zealand. Trips off-island and going to do stuff was all through school, Girl Guides or my friends. My parents didn't have the time to take us out running the garden centre on their own. Sure, I do remember some family outings before the crash, but nothing after.

I don't know about corruption here (we've really only experienced the bureaucracy and incompetence), but if you really want to see some, head on over to that island. Backhanders, who you know, it's a small island where everyone knows everyone. The courts don't work, people rather buy from B&Q and Tesco's than support local. We still have people who owe us money despite taking them to the small business courts. We actually still have half the nursery we can't sell and had one of the people who was going to buy the land sell stock illegally before the sale fell through and the only, only reason we ever found out wasn't because of our neighbours, or my dad's brother, but because of MY best friend's brother who was curious about the plant listings he'd found on Facebook. Need I say more?

New Zealand looked great. In 2015/16, compared to this we'd been through, two years of road works costing us sales, £50,000 of dead stock & £150,000 of damaged infrastructure from a freak snowstorm in March 2013 the government refused to compensate for, NZ looked amazing. A new life away from constant bullying and feeling like an outcast? Yeah, I was all on board.

That's why.

Did half of what NZ was promised to be turn out a lie? Yes, a lot of what we were told was a lie. We were told a lot of lies and given A LOT of bad information (you might be picking up that running theme here). I know it's not great. It's faaar from the 'perfect' little country everywhere else makes it out to be, but for us. It's better than what we had. We go out as a family. We take time off. We don't have to deal with greedy customers and bitter people, 24/7.

A lot of the problems we still have are things that residency will solve: I'll be able to get a bank account, a job, go to uni etc. My parents will be able to retire whenever they're ready and take the break they deserve. It's just a waiting game really.

A painful one.

Why NZ and not AU?

Mum's petrified of spiders, snakes and anything else that crawls and bites ^^;

It is a nice country to live in, I've never met people so friendly in my life. The generosity and kindness here compared to what I grew up with still surprises me. It's a lovely place (if we ignore anything involving the government) and the weather, you will never appreciate the sun more than coming from the UK.

I don't know if you're a local or moved here too, but I'd personally be in less of a rush to leave. The rest of the world ain't exactly doing too great right now. At least it's relatively safe here and grows enough food to feed the population.

[milfmacbeth]

@euphcme thanks for asking!! (answering here because tumblr replies do not like long essays)

ok, so what's currently stewing in my brain is a fantasy series loosely based on early modern central/eastern europe and best summed up as “ragtag bunch of misfits hunting gods”. it's got an ensemble cast, most of which i have yet to name because i'm fucking terrible at coming up with names, but some of the most important ones are zmija, emanuel, and kazimir.

zmija is a deposed princess who, as of book 2, has this entity of primordial darkness sealed inside her. i’ve always been fascinated by apotheosis as a trope, especially when it’s lovecraftian and fucked up. so yeah, over the course of the narrative zmija has a corruption arc as the lines between her and the entity blur (spoiler warning for a book that might come out in a decade at the earliest lmao). she ascends to godhood but she loses her humanity in the process. she’s a brilliant strategist, she’s full of rage, and she wants to tear the world down.

emanuel sounds like i wrote him when i was twelve. probably my most self-indulgent character. he’s a plague doctor, he’s a demigod, and he has raven-black wings and wields a scythe. edgy as hell but i love him

kazimir is a fire mage who starts out a mercenary only in it for the money. he was raised by devils but like… the czech kind (czech devils are just Guys, they’re demons like crowley from good omens is a demon). he’s ruthless, he’s an absolute bastard, and he’s a poor little meow meow who ends up on his knees and covered in blood quite a lot

kazimir and zmija are currently in their divorce arc after a huge betrayal and i’m thinking about how the reconciliation is going to go (basically figuring out how long the grudge should last to be realistic but not go on for too long)

another character that i’m obsessed with is from a different story. it’s a trilogy of… i’m just gonna call it historical fantasy but i still need to figure out the details. it’s about the middle ages (because i’m sick of the extremely negative and inaccurate portrayal of the middle ages in fantasy and hollywood and everywhere else) and i want to make it as accurate as i possibly can (discounting the more fantastical elements of course). the character is the narrator of the whole thing. they’re a catholic saint who is heavily implied to actually be a pagan god that got co-opted by the catholic church. they’re narrating centuries of history, the good, the bad, the human. this has left them somewhat jaded, bitter, and sarcastic but they still want to see the good in everything.

so yeah, that was a sample of my OCs. one day, you’ll find them on a book shelf

tagged by @euphcme <3<3

last song: way out there by lord huron

currently watching: nothing

currently reading: demian by hermann hesse

current obsession: my OCs!

tagging: @yesyoutubeisruiningmylife @eternita

[sunken-standard]

Hi there! Could you possibly turn your considerable talents to prompts 27 and 57, please? (if nobody has got in ahead of me!) Tom-verse if possible, but I'm happy to leave the artistic decisions to the artist :-) Ellis

I tried for Tom-verse, but I justcouldn’t make anything fit (though, I mean, if you squint, it couldmaybe fit in there before the first ficlet in the series).  Sorry! For some reason the unicorn prompt just tripped me up (I’m evenreusing a bit I had written and scrapped for the other one becauseI’m just coming up empty).  I’m so off my comedy game and all aboardthe train to angstville, apparently.  Also, just pretend thechronology fits with the actual timeline of the show and Surrey hasthe year-round summer of LA.

“Sometimes I just don’t wantto exist”/ “You asked me if unicorns were real”

“Didyou ever wonder if unicorns were real?  Like one horse somewhere inprehistory with some kind of keratinous carcinoma or something thatstarted it all?” Molly said, staring at the 14thcentury ‘unicorn’ horn (that of a narwhal, most likely) mounted onthe wall of the study.

“Probablysomething along those lines, could have been an oryx or a rhino thatsomeone saw while in an altered state.  Between ergot, mushrooms,natural fermentation, and all manner of disease andnaturally-occurring poisons, added to the fact that there was noreliable way to record an experience, it’s amazing we as a speciesever came to any consensus about the nature of reality,”Sherlock said as he searched the club treasurer’s desk.

“Saythat at a physics conference sometime,” she said.

Officesupplies, sweets, nail clippers, cap for a memory stick but no memorystick (bugger), sticky note with password to company server(P@55vv0rd, how clever), deck of naughty playing cards (didn’t evenknow they still made those); nothing useful.  Bollocks.

“Whenhave you ever been to a physics conference?”  He paused in hissearch.  

“Never. But I’ve heard stories.”

“Whenhave you 'heard stories?’”

“Anex-boyfriend is a theoretical physicist.  That one was more schizoidthan sociopath, though.”

Ugh. Another one.  He wished she wouldn’t talk about them.  He’d muchrather pretend she wasn’t an actual woman and never had anyboyfriends at all, for reasons he didn’t care to examine at themoment.  Or ever.  He went back to rifling the drawer.

“Haveyou ever considered your time would be better spent by taking up ahobby instead of wasting it on relationships?  Knitting, taxidermy,paragliding?”

“Sexis a hobby.”

“Nymphomaniaisn’t a hobby, it’s an addiction.”

“Well,what do you know, we have something in common,” she said lightlyand, in Sherlock’s opinion, rather cruelly.

“Notan addict, I’m a user, there’s a difference.”

“AndI’m not a sex addict.  Though, I mean, I’m not a user,either, because that sounds like I’m just looking for a sugar daddyor something.  I just like sex.  A lot.  I mean, we only get so muchtime, might as well enjoy it.”

“Yetwhen I say that about any number of arbitrarily illegal substances, Iget crucified.”

“Wellit’s not like I’m going to suffer a collapsed vagina from repeatedpenetration, unlike a vein and a needle.  Or, you know, literally diefrom too many orgasms.”

Hegrunted as he popped the secret panel behind the drawer.  He reallyhoped it wasn’t booby trapped.  Good thing she was being so annoying;if he started thinking about her vagina and repeated penetration hemight get sidetracked.

*

“Isthat his girlfriend or his daughter?” Molly muttered as shelooked across the lawn to the pool.

Sherlocklooked for himself; the client’s midlife crisis girlfriend and eitherher sister or her friend (hard to tell, they both had the same dyedblonde hair and Instagram brows and noses picked from a book in aCzech bargain-basement plastic surgeon’s office) were lounging indeck chairs.  Nothing particularly striking about them; he wonderedwhy she sounded a bit bitter.  Wasn’t like her.  Best not to ask, hethought, lest he actually get an answer.  Solving the case shouldcheer her up.

“Girlfriend. And she’s got nothing to look forward to but a life ofdisappointment and melanoma.  Come on, I want to check thegroundskeeper’s cottage before he gets back from shaving thetopiaries or painting the grass green or whatever other crimesagainst nature these people feel the need to commit for the sake ofappearances.”

*

“Wow,is that…?”

“Youasked me if unicorns were real.  Apparently they are,” he saidas they approached the groom, busy saddling a white pony with a pinkmane and a rather realistic horn somehow affixed to its head.

“Huh,”Molly said.  Then, as the pony lifted its tail and did what allanimals do, “The internet lied.  That was supposed to be arainbow.”

Sherlocksmirked, then schooled his face before addressing the groom. Wouldn’t do to look happy while questioning the main suspect.

*

“Sothe groom was actually the birth mother and she was helpingthe ex-wife steal from the client?  I will never understand richpeople.  Kinda sad for the little girl, though,” Molly said,looking out the window of the train.

“Alwaysis,” he dismissed, but not rudely.  He hoped.  

“Imean, I kind of sympathize with the ex-wife, especially after seeingthe girlfriend.  A woman gets to a certain age and she’s just…disposable.”

Helooked at her askance; that uncharacteristic note of bitterness wasback in her voice again.

“Isthis about Tom?  You broke it off with him, why are you still upsetover it?”

Surelya few months was more than enough time to get over him.  She barelyblinked before moving on from other boyfriends.

“It’snot about Tom.  Well, maybe some of it.  I’m just tired ofstupid men always coming out on top in these things.”  

“Hardly'on top’ in this case.  His nine year old daughter already resentshim, which is unlikely to change, he can’t perform for hisbarely-legal fiancée—yes, I found a ring while looking for thememory stick—without the help of a little blue pill, and she’lltake him to the cleaners in the divorce settlement within five years,provided his hypertension doesn’t kill him first, at which point thedaughter gets it all anyway.  That is, if there’s anything left bythen.  He has a mountain of debt and he’s made nothing but poorinvestment choices since his ex-wife left.”

“Youknow about investing?  I thought you hated City boys and the entireconcept of money.”

“Iknow a bit.  Mrs. Hudson knows more.  She did successfullylaunder the earnings of a not-insignificant drug cartel for thebetter part of twenty years.”

Theway Molly’s lips pressed together and her eyebrows rose as she tippedher head indicated she really wasn’t very surprised.

“Evenso, ’s still not fair, is it?”

“Verylittle ever is,” he said.

Hedidn’t like Molly being so pessimistic.  It was out of place with theorder of things.  He’d much rather she talk at length and in greatdetail about her vagina and its numerous exploits if it meant shewasn’t so… down.

“SometimesI just don’t want to exist.  It’s still a man’s world and being asingle woman over thirty sucks.”

Nothinghe could really say to that without sounding like a completearsehole.  Just because he didn’t voice any opinions on it didn’tmean he was blind to the struggles competent women faced.  Hell, heknew what it had done to his own mother, and she’d been relativelylucky in the stable, supportive partner area.

“Well,you’ve always got me?” he said, more in the form of a questionthan a statement.  He squinted to make it look like he really wasn’tsure if that was the correct protocol for offering support; hecouldn’t let her know he meant it so sincerely that he refused tothink about the feelings it stirred and what that might mean.

Sheglanced at him with an expression on her face he couldn’t read, thenlooked back out the window.  "I suppose I could find a worsesidekick,“ she said after a few moments.

"Sidekick.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well,yeah, obviously.  I did solve the case, after all.”

“Youdidn’t solve the case.  You found the memory stick, and that was justdumb luck.  I solved the case.  He made the check out to me.”

“Itwasn’t dumb luck.  I knew they had cats, and I know where toy-sizedthings end up when there’s a cat around.”

“Yes,and if you want a sidekick you should get another cat.  I’ll just beyour… consultant.”

“Consultantpain in my arse,” she said, her lips twitching up a bit at thecorner.  It was a start.

“Theysay 'follow your bliss…’” he said lightly, which earned himone of those impish smirks that gave him a mild, almost pleasant formof indigestion.

Sidekick. Honestly.  Though he supposed there were worse fates than playingsecond fiddle to Molly Hooper.