eknotecservices

[fayeandknight]

Took Forte to train outside the Ren Faire today.

He was a little overwhelmed coming right out of the car. Even though we got there a half hour before it opens there were still a ton of people in the lot and half of them were changing into costumes. So I alternated between letting him just take it and rewarding for check ins and simple obedience (I use sit, down, sit, spin, treat a lot) to gauge his readiness to work.

We stayed in the parking lot for about 10 minutes before he was ready. He kept pace with me nicely on the walk from the lot to the actual fair grounds. I was pleased with him ignoring the crowds around us given that we had to pass really close to others at times.

We saw some really cool costumes including a person with a big mushroom hat, someone carrying a prop sword that was bigger than me, and a stroller decked out in bells to look like a fairy wagon.

He alerted to a hr spike and did DPT across the street from the entrance. There was a huge crowd waiting at the entrance and there was a lively opening speech complete with loud cheering. And while he was interested/clearly watching he didn't stop tasking.

At one point a pair of character actors dressed as royal guards, each holding a spear, saw on the ground and approached. They stopped a respectful distance away and asked if I was okay. I thanked them and told them my service dog had it covered.

When I was ready we wandered around the area, went over a wooden bridge that squeaked, and did more simple obedience. Then we went back down the path to the car for a water break. It was more crowded now and we were going against the flow of foot traffic, but he still kept in a loose heel and paid no mind to the people.

After getting water we went back up towards the entrance. I stopped by the trail end and put him in a relaxed down so he could practice being settled near heavy foot traffic. He checked in consistently and was paid for it.

As I was debating going all the way to the entrance or calling it a day, he did get startled. Two people, each pushing a stroller, came down the hill towards us while squealing at the top of their lungs. I don't think they even noticed Forte until he popped up and barked once. They were most likely trying to entertain the kids in said stroller.

He recovered quickly and laid back down on his own but I took that as a sign he about done with the outing. We'd already been out for an hour and a half and it was starting to get too hot out. So we went back to the car. I had another internal debate about putting his cooling vest on and heading back up or just leaving. Part of me didn't want to end on our only bad note and wanted to go back for some pictures.

But ultimately I decided against it. He'd stayed at a calm pace on the walk back and didn't balk at any of the other strollers we passed. So I'm counting it as ending on a good note actually.

Picture of the good boy who is now tired.

[faebriel]

needing you to drop all your character/writings playlists

OKAY so for me most of the time i'll make a specific playlist for the fic in question to get the inspiration vibes going. and like they are quite specific for each fic....c!rainduo have different vibes in rousseau's man than they do in cause most of us are bitter for example. and some songs are just for vibes. and some fics i just fly in blind tbh

this is gonna be a doozy so songs under the cut

castling kingside, you're the fool i'm just as well, and the owl house fics all don't have playlists! it's called freefall has the titular song and the everything everywhere all at once soundtrack, and you think they'll make it is mostly just the hadestown soundtrack. but here are the rest

cause most of us are bitter over someone & one will die before he gets there:

youth - daughter (the classic...)

burn it down - daughter

the other side of paradise - glass animals

babooshka - kate bush (this is a vibes ish one... originally in bitter there was more of an emphasis on niki setting up these 'traps' (mostly in conversation, not literal ones...) to prove that wilbur is still a bad person, and wilbur failing all of them on purpose because he is trying to push that he's a bad person. the situation the singer describes reminded me of it)

francis forever - mitski

no care - daughter

flaws - daughter

that's okay - the hush sound

achilles come down - gang of youths (maybe a cliche pick, but it's so good for the atmosphere of everything going wrong until it maybe starts to pick itself up into going right)

molasses - the hush sound

and you caused it has the same songs as the other fics in the series, plus:

at least i have nothing - saint motel

someone is crazy - jonathon coulton

waterfalls coming out your mouth, your love (deja vu) and it's all so incredibly loud - glass animals (all here for vibes)

all together now - ok go

all's well that ends (fun fact, the playlist is just called "thats a normal coping mechanism") includes:

all's well that ends - rainbow kitten surprise (duh)

first class - rainbow kitten surprise

the goodbye song - joe iconis (more of a ghostboo and michael song... but important for considering ghostboo's character in that fic for me)

i'm alive and reprise - aaron tveit (ok this is another holdover from an older version of the fic!! originally ghostboo was... well, not really intentionally malicious, but his lack of regard for life and death veered more into being actively harmful and dangerous for tubbo. ended up adjusting this aspect because it didn't mesh as well with the tone/themes of rest of the fic, where people care, but tubbo is unable to accept their help. also i got to the end of that fic and went Man giving tubbo a husband who is not only dead but doesn't care if he lives or dies is just too cruel. i can't do that to him LMFAO)

divine loser - clem turner (mostly here for vibes. great song)

love me, normally - will wood (THE all's well that ends ghostboo song)

rousseau's man... or at least, act 1. i don't wanna spoil acts 2 and 3 through their playlists lmfao:

you! me! dancing! - loscamp

...and we exhale and roll our eyes in unison - loscamp

drop it doe eyes - loscamp

death to los campensinos - loscamp

we are beautiful, we are doomed - loscamp

concorde - black country, new road

the place where he inserted the blade - black country, new road

chaos space marine - black country, new road

do everything now - saint motel

i'm gonna live til i die - frank sinatra

and how does summer end?:

this one came with a few songs as part of the writing challenge! those were american teenager (ethel cain), mosquito on the wall (the wombats), eat your young (hozier), in the best case scenario we'd die at the same time (my name is ian) and the bells of notre dame

the entire from studio 4 album

running up that hill - the wombats cover

brand new city - mitski

everything's fine (nuke song) - roe kapara

i love you so - the walters

star tripping - kevin atwater

ceilings - lizzy mcalpine

doomsday - lizzy mcalpine

i know the end - phoebe bridgers

unraveling - the crane wives

love love love - of monsters and men

dry lips - lightspeed champion

am i dreaming? - metro boomin

sunglasses at night (jean jacket remix) - nope 2022 soundtrack

fine, great - modern baseball

strawberry blonde - mitski

romance is boring - loscamp

bye, bye, bye - jellyfish

be nice to me - the front bottoms

fake friend - nothing,nowhere

my mom - kimya dawson

playlists are hard! some inspire vibes, some inspire characters, and some are just on here because they're just right to make my brain want to write something. hey would you believe loscamp was my most listened to artist this year because let me tell you

[xonepeacelovex]

Hello! Can you make a scenario where Lee know bully’s you but actually likes you then you hurt yourself and he regrets it and can the reader not die🥹 if you do ty!

What if I told you I've fallen?

The doorbell rang but you pay no attention to it. You can't move, you don't have the energy to do so. Your body hurts and even little movements make your headache much worse. So you close your eyes, hoping that the delivery man will come back the next time you're better.

The doorbell rang again, you search for your phone, maybe it was your friends who came to visit you. But there's no message from Seungmin nor Hyunjin, they said they'll visit you after work with a promised dinner.

So who the hell is at your door in the middle of the day?

You got up from your bed with all your strength. It's about time to get some water and take your medicine. With the blanket around your face, without any care about how you'll look crazy, you opened the door.

Minho, the sole reason why are you in this state.

You coughed at his face, surprised and confused about why is he there. Frowning at him, you clearly said you are done with him. You'll not play his games anymore. It's been years since he started this beef with you. You don't know why he hates you so much. Is it because you became friends with his friends? The only reasonable explanation you can conclude is that he doesn't want you to be in his circle of friends. Cause it looks like he hated you since the start. But last night was the last straw, he made you wait in the middle of the rain.

"Why are you so pressed?" He said with a grin on his face, the umbrella covering him from the pouring rain.

"You made me wait for hours."

"It's not my fault. I don't have your phone number with me."

You know this routine, he'll put all the blame on you.

"Cause you refused to give your number to," he shrugs, "a stranger right?" He smiles, clearly enjoying this. Ugh. He's so annoying.

"You know what? If I'd known you are the one I'll be with today. I'll cancel everything. What was Changbin thinking this was a good idea?"

"Maybe that's why Changbin thinks this was a good idea."

"Well, it's not," shivering when a cold wind passed by. He observes you before walking a little close to where you at, "Why are you fuming? I'm doing you a favor here." The umbrella covers your head, but you are flustered with how close he is. Stepping back from him, he frowned at you.

Damn. Now you feel hot.

"I asked my friends to do this volunteering with me, not you."

"Well, your friends can't make it."

You sighed, maybe you'll do this some other time. It's raining hard.

"Just go home," you said before sneezing. You definitely will catch a cold. You started walking when Minho called you.

"Y/N..." You looked back, "Look Minho, this was supposed to be a good day with my friends."

"And I ruined it?" He said before you can even be finished what you'll say, "Because I'm the one who showed up?"

"The key word is friends. And we are not friends. We are far from that."

"Cause you don't want to be friends with me. I'm doing all I can to..."

"Oh please Minho. You are the one who hates me from the start. You know what? Let's stop this. We are not kids anymore to fight like this. If we don't want each other around then let's avoid each other. I'm so done having these arguments with you. Our friends are also tired of this for sure." You did not wait for whatever he'll say. Whether he agrees or not, you'll just avoid him.

You can't deal with this now. You are about to close your door when he stopped it with his foot.

"Ouch," he said, lifting it while hopping from the pain, you rolled your eyes, opening your door widely this time.

"What are you doing here?" He stopped hopping and stayed still, you noticed a plastic bag in his hand.

"Who's idea is this? Is it Chan?" Ready to call your friend to stop this.

"What? No."

"Seungmin? Why are they doing this?"

"Y/N," he sighs, "I'm here to say sorry."

You looked at him for a good second. You are really sick to hear such things. Are you hallucinating?

"I'm sorry Y/N. I did not mean to keep you waiting yesterday. I volunteered to accompany you because I thought maybe we can be closer if we spend time with each other." You just stared at him, processing everything. Minho? Saying sorry? Wanting to be closer to you? He sighs before continuing, "I don't hate you. I also don't want to be your friend." You scoffed at him, "Let me finish first. I don't want to be just your friend." Just a friend? What does it even mean? He took a deep breath, "What if I told you I've fallen?"

"Right? I think you bump your head somewhere. You are not making any sense right now."

He rolled his eyes at me, before shaking his head.

"Our friends are right. We are both dumb."

"Now, I am dumb?"

"No. I mean, I am dumb for getting your attention by annoying you, the densest person I know."

"Now, I am dense?"

He took a deep breath again, calming his nerves, "All the hints and you're just picking the bad things," Minho looked at me, "What I'm trying to say is, loudly and clearly, is that... "

And your whole world stops...

"I know it's such a childish act to tease you every time but I don't know how to even get your attention. I say things I did not mean because I'm so nervous around. Do things I normally would not because I don't know how to act around you. Just, it's not me when you're around. I'm a mess when I'm with you. Then Changbin suggested spending time with you, just the two of us and I agreed right away because it's you. I just want you to know the real Minho. The Minho who's not troublesome."

"Maybe bring me to the hospital right now. The fever is making me hallucinate things."

"Y/N," he walks towards you while you back away, "I- I..." he puts his hand on your forehead, "Never mind," he sighs before making accompanying you to your bedroom.

"Let's talk again once your fever is gone."

Copyright © 2022 xonepeacelovex All rights reserved.

[lazarettta]

The Babysitter

Characters ( Ally Mayfair-Richards x Reader )

Rating (T) Word Count ( 2.9k) Warnings ( None, bad flirting, writing while intoxicated)

“For dinner! I'd love to come home with you for dinner.”

“Well what else would you be coming for?”

“Dessert.”

It was another late night studying on the living room floor of the Mayfair-Richards household. It wasn't uncommon for you to spend a majority of your nights here during the week and sometimes the weekend if you were needed and you usually weren't. Not that you would've minded anyway, your weekends weren't busy—mostly spent either dead asleep or trying to get out of plans you didn't want to be a part of anyway to get more sleep.

But it wasn't everyday that you were able to work for a Senator either, so even if you were busy, you weren't going to tell Ally Mayfair-Richards that. Not that she was a mean boss or anything, she was the Senator for crying out loud. And...okay yes, maybe you idolized the woman a little though it may be because you're studying law but honestly who wouldn't idolize this woman? She went through so much shit getting to this point in her life and career.

And she was hot. She was really hot but you kept it in your pants, but your eyeballs? Different story. You were just grateful that she chose you to watch her son when she was away, especially after you knocked over your entire cup of tea in her living room on the very carpet you were sitting on, and you were just a hot mess.

You thought you blew the whole thing, but the moment she produced the NDA to you a few days later when she called you back for a 'second interview' which included Ozzy this time, you'd been ecstatic and nearly knocked over another fucking cup but Ally was faster than you that time.

The giant TV was playing in front of you across the room but it was just the news channel but the volume was pretty low because Oz was asleep upstairs and you weren't really watching it anyway, you had your airpods in listening to Beyoncé and trying to create a decent scenario for one of the ten theories your professor assigned. It was due the next day so you thought picking the easiest one would work in your favor but it was turning out to be your worst nightmare—and you'd regretted choosing sleep over this, kind of.

You'd been so engrossed in your work, and music, you didn't hear the front door open and shut somewhere behind you or hear Ally quietly talking on the phone, her high heels click clacking on her polished wood floors as she came into the living room. Ally paused slightly at the sight of you and her coffee table, your books and yellow pads scattered everywhere, your head bopping slightly to whatever you were listening to as you scribbled away.

Ally smiled softly, and continued on her way upstairs to check on Ozzy knowing that she was going to find him safe, clean and fast asleep with a full belly. You'd been his nanny for four months now and you were such a blessing for Ally, she'd been reluctant to hire and trust another person with her baby boy but her career was too demanding and Ozzy was only ten. He could stay home alone for a few hours maybe, but not days or even a week or two.

After everything, Ally did have cameras around her home on the outside and she had one directly over the stairs because it overlooked the foyer and parts of the living room from an angle. She didn't want too many camera's inside of her home in case they were hacked but she wanted something at least.

Ozzy's room was dark except for his nightlight by the door and Ally quietly made her way inside, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing his curls from his face. She was ever thankful that he finally stopped having those horrible nightmares, it meant that she wasn't wasting her money on therapy sessions.

When Ally came back downstairs, you were predictably in the exact same spot you were in and Ally finally did away with her coat, placing it over the spine of the sofa and she stepped out of her heels before coming around and plopping herself down, careful not to knock over your stack of books.

The sudden movement startled you out of your skin and you quickly pulled out your airpods and looked at your boss, “Hey! Sorry, how long have you been home?”

Ally smiled down at you tiredly, practically sinking into the sofa and you could feel her exhaustion rolling off of her in waves, and you couldn't help but sympathize because damn, and you thought you were tired.

“I just got in, I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, things got busier than I expected and then everything went into chaos.”

You smirked when she threw her hands up half heartedly with a roll of her eyes, “Would a glass of wine help?”

“No, but it would definitely be a start if you join me for a glass?” she raised an eyebrow, and as much as you wanted to say yes you've already procrastinated enough and you really didn't need alcohol in your system around her lest you say something you absolutely shouldn't.

“I would but I have to finish this and it's getting late. Do you mind waiting up until my Uber gets here?”

“It's really late, you should just stay the night, (Y/n).” Ally sat up then, waving away your comment, though now she was closer and hovering over you a bit, “I'll take you home tomorrow after breakfast, that sound fair?”

It wouldn't be the first overnight stay but it would definitely be the first time that she'd be home too and you just couldn't say no to that even though you probably should have insisted more that you go home, but you accepted her offer without further debate. You'd gone back to your assignment, minus the airpods this time, and Ally got up to go to the kitchen and you could hear her fixing herself a glass of wine.

Ally set a bottle of water next to you on a coaster before settling back in her spot and finding something to watch on TV, and of course you noticed that she was a hell of a lot closer than she was before.

Your pen had paused on the yellow paper and your eyes glanced over the same sentence three times before your mind processed that you could practically feel the heat from her legs next to your arm through her slacks, and if you leaned just an inch you'd be touching her. You fought the urge to look back over your shoulder, but instead you looked up from beneath your lashes and saw that she was browsing the movie channels at a snail's pace.

Behind you, Ally was sipping her wine in one hand and flipping channels with the remote in the other but her eyes were nowhere on the TV screen. But she noticed the moment your pen stopped moving and your shoulders tensed more than usual, she'd been watching you closely and curiously.

“You okay, honey?”

You turned around to answer her with what you hoped was a calm smile and wished that you hadn't, really. Ally was going to kill you sitting the way she was sitting, her energy screaming big dick and the top three buttons of her shirt were undone and her hair was a little messy. Either she was going to give you a heart attack or your libido would.

“Sweetheart?”

You blinked, coming back to reality so fast you would’ve gotten whiplash, “Uh, yeah...maybe I guess I’m just tired too.” Yeah right.

You chuckled nervously, embarrassed really, and licked your lips again and Ally tracked the movement with rapt attention not that you would've caught it because you were busy being mortified being caught staring like a creep.

“Are you sure? You look flushed, drink some water,” you smiled at Ally, ever the mom.

“I’m not—” not what? Thirsty? Yeah you were but not for some water.

“You’re not what?” Ally pressed, still holding you hostage with her eyes alone.

“Not thirsty for water.”

Ally raised an eyebrow, the corner of her lips twitching and you hate that you noticed, “Oh? Then what would you like to drink if it’s not wine or water?”

Good question. One you didn’t have a good answer to. Not trusting yourself to formulate words into an appropriate sentence, you just nodded and turned back around and grabbed the water she brought you. You were determined to ignore until you were finished with your work—for the sake of your sanity and dignity.

Fuck.

Still watching you, Ally laughed quietly into her wine glass and finally settled on a movie, keeping the volume low as she got comfortable. Deciding to let you off the hook for not answering her question. (This time.)

~~

A few days later...

It was another late night for you but you weren't working for Ally tonight, so you went to the gym instead after studying. You were still wearing your tights and sports bra when you left, only throwing on a jacket because the night air and sweat weren't a great mix.

You didn't have anything at home to eat that wasn't expired or so frozen it came from the ice age...it all went in the trash so all you had left in your fridge was a case of water and cheese sticks. It wasn't surprising though, you spent a majority of your free time at Ally's home and you just ate lunch and dinner there usually. So you went straight to the grocery store after your workout with your trainer.

“Hey (Y/n)!” you looked up and internally groaned, rolled your eyes and threw a whole bitch fit.

You offered Sean a tight near sarcastic smile, “Sean. What is up.”

“Nothin',” he said, leaning against the counter he was standing behind with a cheesy smile, his eyes leering—and it made your skin crawl, “Just working...you?”

“Uh,” you were already over this conversation, “Same, anyway—”

“You still work for that crazy killer lesbian?”

You stopped, pivoting back around slowly to see if he was joking or not, of course it was hard to tell because he was looking at your ass, but the minute he turned around his eyes laser beamed to your chest. Specifically your pebbled nipples and the bars pierced in them. You moved the labels of your jacket to cover them fucking pig.

“Uh, my eyes are up here and two, that 'crazy killer lesbian' is your Senator.”

He shrugged, “I didn't vote for her.”

“I'm...okay, it was nice talking to you but I have things to do.”

“Well, wait,” he moved in front of you, stopping your escape, “That's not what I wanted to talk to you about actually, uh, but listen...do you maybe wanna go to dinner with me this weekend? My treat?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, completely unimpressed with his audacity, “You literally just called my boss a crazy killer lesbian and now you're expecting me to go to dinner with you?” as if, you wanted to add but held yourself in check—barely.

“I'm sorry about that,” Sean only shrugged but he was bashful about it but it only served to irritate you further because it was obvious that he didn't quite mean it and you were mentally slapping yourself for just not ordering that damn pizza.

“Whatever, goodnight Sean.”

you tried to move around him but he shifted, keeping you in place and you knew you could've just turned around, you should've but he would've just followed you, “Well wait, you never answered my question. About dinner?”

“No.”

“Well, wait a minute...why not? The lesbian thing? It was just a joke. You can take one, can’t you?”

“And I'm not laughing, get the fuck outta my way Sean—”

“You—”

“I believe she told you to fuck off.”

Sean's eyes snapped up over your head slightly, and you would've laughed at his stupid face had you not been pivoting around yourself, your eyes meeting a very familiar chin and you looked up, but Ally's eyes weren't on you but instead glaring daggers into Sean. He'd be ten feet under if she got her way with that look. You wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it. (Maybe another version of it...)

“S-senator?”

“Oh, I'm not the crazy killer lesbian anymore? How disappointing.” when Sean could only stare at her like a fish out of the water, Ally stepped forward—a lot closer to you and you didn't have the strength to move or even look away, “I believe you were told to leave. Oh and if I even hear that you looked at or said anything to (Y/n) incorrectly, you're going to have a lot worse than a harassment complaint from a Senator to deal with.”

You didn't see him leave but you heard the squeaks of his sneaker and in seconds flat you and Ally were alone in the cereal aisle and you had absolutely no idea how to even breathe at the moment, much less process that she just saved you from...whatever that even was.

When Ally was satisfied that Sean was gone, she finally looked down at you—there was still a fire in them that you couldn't place but her brown eyes were softer than they were a few seconds ago, and you felt your shoulders relaxing slightly.

“Are you alright, (Y/n)?”

You cleared your throat, taking a small step back—but you still felt exposed under her unblinking stare though not in the same way you felt with Sean, it was the complete opposite, “Yeah thanks to you, so um thanks...a lot. Your timing is impeccable, but what are you doing here so late? Where's Oz? Is he okay?”

Ally smiled at you, shaking her head disturbing her always perfect hairstyle, “Oz is fine, or at least he will be, he must've ate something today at school and it's not sitting well with his stomach,” Ally rolled her eyes but not at the fact that her son had food poisoning but that he had food poisoning from the school lunch. She could only imagine that other children—reforming school lunches was already on her agenda but now she was seriously considering moving ahead of schedule.

“Oh no, how bad?”

“Not too bad...he'll be okay, I'm just here for medicine to stock up on,” Ally reassured you, her eyes flickering over your shoulder for a second, “What are you doing out so late?” and wearing that? She mentally added, but held her tongue because she knew that it wasn't her place to comment on your attire—not that she was complaining about it, but Ally just didn't like the way Sean was leering at you either. She was a hair away from showing him how she earned her title.

Suddenly aware of how much skin you were showing, and that your jacket fell open again but unlike with Sean you didn't feel the need to really cover yourself (even though you knew that you should've). You appreciated her eyes more than his...and probably anyone else's.

“Oh, I went to the gym and since I don't have any food at home...”

Ally chuckled, “Is this your way of asking for a raise?”

“No! No, no you pay me plenty...I'm just too busy to cook is all and then I'm just too tired to eat sometimes. College life.”

“I was teasing, welcome to adulthood. It doesn't stop,” you laughed along with her but you both knew there was truth behind those words.

“I shouldn't keep you, I know you have things to do.”

“You know, I doubt you're going to get a decent nutrient meal here tonight, especially shopping while you’re hungry...” Ally hummed, seemingly thinking hard about something before opening her mouth to carefully speak those words, “You're more than welcome to come home with me for a late dinner if you have nowhere else to be. I'd be more than happy to feed you.”

Heh. Feed me what? You blinked, mildly surprised with how fast your mind went straight to the gutter and you felt your face heating up faster than a house fire, and you had no doubt in your mind that your boss knew exactly what she was doing to you.

But she didn't, Ally didn't have one clue to what was happening in your mind because her own mind was a pile of scrambled eggs while forcing her eyes to stay above your neck. You were both very much still in public.

And the last thing Ally wanted to do was make either you a cliché, especially with her being a public figure in a male dominant career field, both in politics and her restaurant.

“Unless you had your sights set on cereal?” Ally coughed lightly, suddenly nervous and you realized that you'd been standing there staring at her like a moron this whole time.

“No, I'd love to come home with you,” you said cheerfully, meaning every damn word for different reasons, and you smiled at her, before your eyes widened when realizing how forward you sounded, and suggestive as hell, “For dinner! I'd love to come home with you for dinner.”

“Well what else would you be coming for?”

“Dessert.”

Direct result after two blunts...sorry if it's kinda lame tho lmao I went in thinking I was writing smut and gave up somewhere

[toomanyrobins2]

drunk on indigo skies pt. 9

Summary: Y/N “Indigo” Phillips had dealt in secrets her whole life. Hired by Tony Stark at 16, falling in love with his son was never the plan. She also never expected that five years later, she’d be leaving Peter in the middle of the night with just a note on the dining room table. Now a year later, she has to return to the Three Families as their whole world continues to be threatened by a rival mob.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 900ish

Content warning: Mentions of alcohol abuse, sex, violence, murder

Notes: This is a really short part so I'll upload another chapter soon

series masterlist // next part

Y/N woke up first the next morning and felt a thousand times better. Her tea was still on the bedside table untouched and only one blanket covering her. It took a moment to realize where she was and what had happened last night. Her head was on Peter’s shoulder and her arm across his stomach. His arm was wrapped tightly around her. Tilting her head up, she lifted her hand to trace a finger along his jaw, the soft touch stirring him awake.

His eyes fluttered open and watched Y/N as she relearned the little details. A chain around his neck caught her attention and curiosity got the better of her. He hadn’t worn this before and she had to know. Moving faster than a half-awake Peter could ever have stopped, she pulled the chain out from under her shirt. His hand shot up to grab her wrist but it was too late. Hanging from the chain was Y/N’s engagement ring. Neither of them moved what felt like an eternity. 18,000 thoughts ran through her head and all she managed to do was choke out, “You kept it?”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “Yeah, I did.” Y/N looked at him expectantly, waiting for more. Peter sighed again, “It’s a reminder. A physical thing to touch and remind me what I lost because of my choices.”

That answer was definitely not what she expected. She sat up and let the blanket fall away. Looking down at him, she just choked out an oh. Peter looked almost annoyed, “Oh? That’s it?”

“I don’t know what to say. I’ve imagined coming back so many times, but I never imagined this scenario. I just don’t really know what to make of it all.”

Peter was almost scared to ask, “Is it better or worse?”

Y/N shuffled across the bed so that she was nearly on his lap, “Better. I never dared to dream that I could come back. Or that we would be accepted by much. You proved me wrong and I’m so grateful for it..”

Peter pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Come with me to the compound this weekend. It’s going to be fun and I want you and Ellie there.” Y/N nodded and let herself start to relax and curl back into Peter. Neither of them was willing to start the day and leave the bubble.

Y/N had forgotten how chaotic the compound was when everyone was together. Now that they had started having kids, it was even crazier. They were all around and Y/N was sitting back, watching everyone as they milled around. Wanda came to sit down beside her, handing her a beer. Peter had taken Ellie from her as soon as they arrived. Since that night in the nursery, he’d been obsessed with the little girl. He had Ellie in one arm and a water bottle in his other hand. Since he’d admitted he had quit drinking, Y/N was waiting for it all to come crumbling down. She’d been proven wrong consistently and it was probably one of the rare times she liked being wrong. Pepper couldn’t help but smile knowingly at her, “He looks good with a baby.”

Y/N hummed in agreement, her eyes never leaving him, “He looks good with everything. It's very annoying.”

“You are very biased about that fact. He’s like an annoying little brother to most of us,” the redhead tilted her head, “When did you know that you loved him?”

“April 14th.”

“You have an exact date?” Wanda laughed, “You’re crazy.”

“I had started at school like five months earlier,” Y/N explained, “You know that Tony had found me. I was a street kid selling information and he offered me a chance to be better. Birdie and Peter were the first friends I made. He and I just had this pull. We weren’t officially dating yet, but we had this huge science exam coming up and were together constantly. Peter was good at science, but I was a disaster and he helped me whenever we had spare time. We finally got our grades back and I got an A. I’d never seen anyone so excited about something I’d done. How could I not love someone who cared that much?”

“I think he still feels that way,” Wanda said knowingly, “I can remember the first time I heard about you. It wasn’t Tony talking about his new little spy or Birdie talking about her new friend. P I don't think he shut up about you for three days and that’s only because he started bringing you home.”

Y/N smiled sadly, “We’ve changed a lot since then. Neither of us is the same person we were at 16. I don’t know where I’d be now without all of you.”

“You’re an amazing girl, you would’ve found your way,” Wanda looked over at Tony and Peter, “I don’t think either of you realizes the power you have over him. He would move heaven and earth for you.”

Y/N smiled as Peter kissed Ellie’s fingers as she put them in his mouth. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she turned to her friend, “I don’t need him to do anything like that. I don’t want that either.”

“You can’t stop that boy from loving you. You’ve already tried it once and it’s taken like a month for you two to come back together.”

“We’re not together.” Wanda simply lifted an eyebrow and walked away with a knowing smile. Y/N shouted after her, “We aren’t!”

****************************

@marvel-is-a-mood

@marvelofwitch

@mycosmicparadise

@majo240820

@capsiclesdoll

@slut-for-steve-rogers

@dottirose

@runawayolives

@zaraomarrogers

@jemimah-b99

[back-to-louis]

Hey, I’m the anti who asked you how u would react if the larries are right. First of all, I just called them crazies because it makes me SOO furious that they don’t see how harmful and blatantly stupid it is to ignore everyone occurrence of Louis(and Eleanor’s) life just because there’s one clip of Louis leaning into harrys touch and a couple “matching” tattoos that don’t match anymore than Harry and zayns(who are very much not together, you get what I mean). Plus, they’re the same people who keep changing the theory that Freddie isn’t his kid just because god forbid Louis was with a woman, yk? Even though, like I said, I think it’s near impossible that they’re right about everything being a coverup; it’s such an interesting scenario to think about. I just wanted to know how you think us antis (the respectful level headed bunch of this fandom who don’t make baseless conspiracies) would react IF Harry and Louis have been secretly together and forced to hide that by fake dating other women this entire time. And also like you said, share mutual friends, family relationships, private occurrences, etc, with those girlfriends; and even somehow managed to build a very real relationship with a child that isn’t his. In a world where conspiracies with no logic behind them could come true, how would you react? In a world where one of the many absurd babygate theories is correct, how do u think we’d react? But specifically, in a world where somehow Sony/Syco/Columbia forced them to build this whole “narrative” ,as they call it, just to cover up that relationship, how would you react? Would you feel that you were in the wrong this whole time? Would you think it’s a Ricky Martin/Elton John situation(because I have read about them, it’s what made me realize how blind larries are to the possibility of being queer ☂ and still having kids/past opposite sex lovers)? Or would you simply not care too much and go “good for them, hope they’re happy”? I personally would just think the last one, like I said, because I’ve never been the type to get too involved with this conspiracy until recently(even if at one point I did think the concept of that ship was cute, very cute, I was never a tinhat thank god). I don’t even think it’s far fetched at all to think it’s possible that Louis can be part of the LGBT community. But since he’s said he’s not, I’m going to respect that and not try to “prove” otherwise with clips from 2012. I do think the other scenarios are near impossible though, because of all the reasons you’ve stated here on this blog. Which btw, I love your blog <3 Thanks for the reply lol 💜

Thank you, thank you, for coming back and clearing this up! I am sorry I sometimes feel I have to respond to asks like yours with an "I'm taking this in good faith.... OR AM I???" approach because in many cases, the person never comes back and I feel like I have to make my response for the readers I have rather than the ones who never really return to see what I had to say. Thanks for the kind words about my blog and thanks for being a reader!

I kind of (?) addressed a similar question to this in this post , aka, if we were in an alternate universe where all of these impossible things were possible. In that post, I concluded (?) that it's hard to define what "supporting Louis" would look like, but also noted that in this universe where Larries are correct about what's happening, they are by definition making things harder for Louis.

I'm so sorry, I can't give this a "yes or no" kind of answer because I'm me and that's probably going to be annoying. I TRIED! I was lying there in bed the other morning, giving this real thought, thinking, "right, okay, so, in this world larries were right about this whole situation. So, how do I find out that they're right?"

Wait. How do I find out that they're right? We have to start there, don't we?

Some morning, in the near or distant future, I'll wake up, and check my phone even though that shouldn't be the first thing I do when I wake up, and since I live in the US I'd probably have a ton of messages from one of my UK or EU friends due to time zones, and they would be telling me... what would they be telling me?

That there's an article in the SUN or TMZ or Hello! where Louis and Harry came out and told their whole story? Louis wrote a twitlong? Briana posted a confession to her instagram stories? Like, what would that LOOK like? What would finding out Larries were right look like? Because from what I last saw, Larries think the "story" will break in phases:

a) Either with a story about how Louis just found out his child isn't his, followed by breaking up with Eleanor over his devastation (or that order reversed)

b) followed by some stories about how Harry reached out to support Louis and they renewed their "friendship" so start to be seen interacting online and in person (I guess there's some element to take care of HARRY's current relationship with a woman as well by now, who knows)

c) followed by them "officially" becoming a couple, and then a very public and activist couple, which will result in

d) them blacklisting any questions about any prior girlfriends or children which will "make clear" to the public that those elements of the past were all fake anyway and the "true believers" will of course know and keep dear the fact that "they have loved each other since they were 16 and 18" etc.

* So I guess for the sake of brevity (too late), I'll say that if I read an article (well-sourced, not a tabloid, ofc) in the near or distant future that Louis just found out Freddie isn't his son, so he's not going to have anything to do with him any longer, I'd first take that at face value and think he's an ass, lose a ton of respect for him, and I don't really see myself being interested in what he has to offer as an artist because at least part of my interest in him as an artist is the persona he has as a generally caring person who tries to do his best.

* But if the article was about how Louis admitted that he engaged in the pantomime of being a father, signed a birth certificate, involved his family, etc., because of (?) contracts (?), I think the shock of realizing he just killed his own career would have me reaching for the popcorn.

Like, can you IMAGINE the press around that? Can you even see that being the story and TMZ being like "yeah, wow, record labels, huh, they sure do be making people make their moms pretend to be grandmothers on their death beds sometimes. Bad record labels! Poor oppressed boybanders!" Can you IMAGINE twitter and YouTube drama commentary in the wake of an announcement like that?

* I will entertain a third option! In the event that one day in the near or distant future, Louis and Harry either break contract and are sued by "[entity]" or initiate a suit against "[entity]" or press charges (?) for doing these things to them despite the fact that they're unenforceable and illegal, so basically saying "these entities are the mob and terrorized us and our families for a decade and we are taking them to court to air our grievances" which, to be sure, would probably be an ideal scenario for Larrie vindication, no? Then, yes, I would be like "wow, that's really fucked up, and I'm really glad they got to go public with all of this and "[entity]" receives the full penalty the law allows."

In that case I can imagine myself still being interested in Louis as an artist, and I would have no issue with whatever relationship(s) he's in, with Harry or otherwise, although I'd probably feel like he'd need uh, therapy. Like, I don't think he'd be ok. That would be like them admitting they were in an oppressive cult of two, for ten years.

And also, larries would have still have made all of that harder for both Harry and Louis. So.

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter twenty five: “The End”

Masterpost - Prev.

Warning(s): a bit of swearing ; post-timeskip manga spoilers!!

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Or aka, ‘The Sakusa Kiyoomi Theory’

Act One: “Who is Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

Saturday, 6:23 am, “y/n's home”

“You're late,” said y/n with crossed arms, she was already waiting for him at the door of her house. “I hope this doesn't become routine.”

It was already morning in the streets of Paris. Tendou Satori and her neighbor (and best friend), y/n l/n, were walking towards their famous bakery and chocolate shop, ‘Sweet Strawberries.’ It was a small place with a few tables to sit for tea and delicious things to eat. Also, although it was small, it was quite crowded.

“Woah, how angry you are today, little baker... More than usual, actually” y/n shook her head at her friend's comment. “But obviously I already know why, and it seems that you know why too.”

Y/n decided to ignore what Satori had said, and keep walking quite ahead of him. It was still an hour before the store opened, but they already had several orders that were due to deliver around nine in the morning. A three-tier wedding cake, forty heart-shaped chocolates for the anniversary of a married couple, and of course, the strawberry cake for someone named Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Around a quarter to seven, they arrived at the bakery, and they got down to work to get all the orders completed on time. 

Tendou was more dedicated to the chocolate part, of course, and to serve customers. Despite y/n had advanced a lot in terms of her social skills, she still needed to learn a little about how to communicate normally with a person.

“That 'Sakusa Kiyoomi' has a Japanese name, do you think he is too?” y/n asked, wiping flour from her hands.

“I don't know, they could be. But doesn't that name sound too familiar to you?”  Satori replied.

“That's exactly what I was thinking!”

“Weird.”

“Yeah... Anyway, the customer asked not to make the chocolate so bitter so add more milk to that please.”

“Yes, boss!” Satori made a military signal and continued his work.

Act Two: “Pretending to be Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

8:39 am, “Paris” (?)

Bokuto Koutarou, along with Miya Atsumu and Hinata Shoyo were lost in Paris. They had circled the Eiffel Tower at least five times. But it seemed they hadn't realized it yet.

They were more lost than Bokuto studying math. But a simple city would not defeat them so easily... would it?

“Maybe we should have brought Sakusa,” Hinata said after round number six.

“And hear him complain about how dirty everything is? No thanks,” Atsumu Miya replied, shaking his head. “We don't need Omi-Omi. I, Miya Atsumu, am enough to know where we are.”

Atsumu put a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended. Bokuto and Hinata looked around, ignoring the enormous tower behind them, wondering where they were.

“And where are we then?”

“Paris, of course” he replied. “I can’t believe you’re seriously asking that, Shoyo.”

Hinata and Bokuto looked at each other, unable to believe what their teammate was saying.

“Sure…” Bokuto said, getting his phone out of his pocket. It was time to be the serious person of the trio. “Akaashi, we got lost” and that time was now over. Koutarou was crying as he spoke to his friend, who was on another continent. “No, I can't stop crying, Akaashi. I swear I was following the steps you wrote on the map so we wouldn't get lost, but Atsumu wanted to take the lead, so he broke the instructions, and we don’t know where we are. It's all his fault...! No, Sakusa has not come either.”

“Hey! It wasn't my fault,” the dyed blonde complained, crossing his arms. “And we never needed Omi-Omi!”

“Okay, Akaashi, I'll do it. Bye, love you… As a bro of course” Bokuto finished saying and hung up. “He told me I have to call Tendou. Is the only way.”

Hinata started shaking his head from side to side, while Atsumu slapped his forehead with his hand. Then a message came from Keiji; It was the number of Tendou Satori himself. Bokuto started dialing the numbers that appeared on the screen of his phone, on Hinata's.

“Wait wait, shouldn't I speak? He might recognize your voice” Hinata said, awkwardly taking the phone from Bokuto's hands. 

“He would also recognize yours, Shoyo. I'll do it.” Atsumu snatched the device from him and pressed the call button. “Hello, sir, what’s up? I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi, could you help me get to your store? I'm a bit lost... How did I get your number you ask? Eh– It's on your website dude! You should delete it, some people pretend to be someone else and you should not fall for that...”

Act Three: “If Sakusa Kiyoomi was real, we should have brought him.”

10:04 am, “Sweet Strawberries Bakery and Chocolate Shop”

“I can't believe it took us almost two hours to get here! It wasn't even that far from the hotel” Hinata said looking towards the building that was a few meters in front of them.

“Six blocks. Can’t believe it either.” Atsumu wiped the sweat from his brow. “And now that? Are we going in or not?”

Bokuto went pale. He was going to see you, after so many years without communicating or having exchanged glances. He never imagined that he would see you again after that cold day in Miyagi. He had made a thousand scenarios in his head of how you two meet again: in some distant future you visit your hometown and he visits Hinata, and thus you meet in the park or on the street. You would have your own family, and he would have his. But that would happen in many years, not now. Not at this moment, when neither of you had grown enough... When he hadn't managed to forget you yet. But these weren't Koutarou's inventions, this was reality.

The incredible and stupid reality.

“I don't want to go in,” Bokuto said suddenly and stopped walking. “I’m not ready.”

Atsumu, who was already one step away from the door, turned to see him. Hinata collided with Miya's chest because he was walking right behind him.

“What are you talking about? Let's go in now” Atsumu said walking towards the ex-owl. “We didn't change the whole tour just so you don't go see your little girlfriend… We change it so you do! Don't be scared, do it now or you'll regret it for life. I remember how you talked about her during practice, and I even want to meet her after that! Come on dude, use the little braveness you have left.”

It seemed that Atsumu's words, or Hinata's smile next to him, made Bokuto take courage and head towards the entrance of the shop. 

A bell rang before three pairs of feet echoed through the small place. There was a great smell of chocolate that invaded every inch of the establishment. Hinata paced around the place until the sound of a door opening made the three teammates turn their heads to where the sound was coming from.

“Welcome, what can I offer-- So all of you are Sakusa Kiyoomi, huh?” Satori Tendou said, coming out of the back-room. “You see guys, I never believed this would happen. It makes me think a lot too… So, is Sakusa Kiyoomi even real?”

Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto were paralyzed in place for several seconds. The former Shiratorizawa monster stood with his hands on his hips, staring at them.

“Is it Sakusa Kiyoomi? Tell him I'm coming in a minute!” y/n yelled from the back room.

“Oh no, y/n, it’s someone much better!” Tendou replied, holding back his laughter. “You won't believe it even if you see this!”

Then, silence took over the place until a few quick steps interrupted it. A figure appeared through the door, with several boxes in their hands. A pile of boxes so big it covered their face.

“Help me, Satori, I'm going to fall” y/n complained, and after Tendou took out the boxes that covered her view, she saw her friend smiling widely. “What?”

Satori, who couldn't contain his laughter anymore, gestured with his head towards the three statues in the middle of the place. And finally, seeing her friend's face, he started to laugh out loud.

“Kou?”

“A-and Hinata!” shouted Bokuto nervously. Shoyo looked at him and then pointed at Atsumu.

“And also Atsumu!”

“And Saku– shit, we should have brought Omi-Omi after all…”

───∘°❉°∘───

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Note: I am very very very very sorry for not posting this sooner, but I had thousand of things going on in my life. Now I’m better and ready to finish this beautiful, and crazy, love-story.

I hope you loved it as much as I did. I truly enjoyed it writing, and I’m happy to finish it too.

I’ll appreciate it a lot if you comment down below what you thought about the series. I’ll read you later -Tina.

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Tags in reblog!

Thanks for reading🥰

[belit0]

1500k Commission [Uchiha Obito / Coffy Fem Reader] @obitobrigade

Cause I rarely see this anywhere... How about Kakashi admitting to Obito he's kinda jealous that Obito got with Coffy/reader instead of him. And Obito enjoying that fact while he cuddles on the couch with Coffy(she wearing obito shirt of course) fluffy and NSFW. *same girl from my first commission*

[Writer: My imagination flew with this scenario, I hope you like it, it's not exactly the same but it meets all the requirements !]

"I think you're exaggerating a little..."

The grey-haired man said casually. He had come to Obito's house only a short while ago and they had been talking for a moment. Or rather...

"But I am not. Watch your mouth, idiot."

"All I said was that your girlfriend is indeed beautiful... what's the matter with declaring truths out loud?"

Kakashi's intentions were not as expected, and his mere presence there was for an entirely different reason. After trying to find you at home and failing, he figured it would be best to try his luck at your partner's, even if it meant crossing paths to the one who got the woman he wanted so badly.

"I swear on my life, Kakashi, if you don't shut up right now, I'm gonna..."

"Ma, ma, Obito. How grumpy you've been lately... I wonder what she saw in you such as to stay here..."

"Are you fucking with me? Do you really want us to beat each other to death in the middle of my house?”

The patience of the Uchiha was getting closer and closer to its respective limit. He was aware of the situation, you had let him know to avoid him feeling insecure, and you had asked him not to confront his friend. Sensing a deep betrayal, Obito felt his family's genes flourish when Kakashi showed up at his door, looking for you, and decided to try to torture him to get the bitter drink out of his mouth.

"Why would that happen? We're just having a conversation. Like friends do. I'd like to talk to [Y/N], is she-"

"Too bad for you, she's mine and she’s not here."

"Since when is she a thing? You bought her and didn't tell me? What did she possibly perceive about you..."

"I treat her best, you stupid bastard, and she loves me as much as I love her."

"I don't think you love her as much as I do.”

That ended his patience. It was one thing to covet his girl, which he could not tolerate, but which he could not do anything about. You are beautiful, a woman with no equal, it is obvious that looks and desire are attracted to you. But something totally different is to come and claim love, even worse, to love you more than Obito, an impossible task.

"What did you say?"

"Uh? What?"

"Repeat it if you've got the balls."

"What? That I don't think you're worthy of her? That I don't think you can handle her? That I think it must be torture for such a woman to wake up next to... you."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were my fucking friend."

"I thought so too until you decided to steal [Y/N] from me and play dirty. You have no shame."

"I believed it was me who treated her like a thing. Listen to you, you fucker. She decided. And she chose me. Deal with it yourself."

"She was fucking mine."

"She's fucking mine."

Both men faced each other, dangerously close and holding on to their clothes, threatening themselves with body and words.

Yes, perhaps at first your attention had been on the grey-haired one, but by now you were sure it was because you did not know Obito at that moment.

Once he appeared in your life, it was impossible to look at anyone else, things happened on their own and everything went as it should. Not being in any commitment with Kakashi, you put him in the back of your mind, enjoying the wonderful man you now had by your side.

More violent words continued to fill the room when everything suddenly fell silent before the noise of the main door. There, entering as if nothing had happened, with your bag and your phone in hand, looking at the screen and distractedly singing one of your favorite songs, was you.

Both of them let go of each other in front of you, wanting to pretend everything was fine and nothing was going on. Obito had promised to keep things calm and let you deal with the problem, and he really wanted to meet your expectations.

Dropping onto the couch with a murderous expression towards the other man present, he looked ahead and completely ignored the situation.

Kakashi, on the other hand, smiled seductively, quickly approaching to greet you.

"I tried to find you at your place earlier because I wanted to talk to you about..."

With just a glance at your man, you understood that he was making his best effort not to beat the other one up just then. No doubt was the right one. Determined, and with a politically correct grin, you knew what you had to do.

"There's nothing to talk about, Kakashi. I thought I had made it clear multiple times at this point.”

Faced with your statement, the Uchiha looked at you pouting. It seemed that he could start crying at any second. His insecurities were something that you worked together daily, and he had made enormous progress, but he still had a few problems.

"I insist that-"

"And I insist that you must leave, now. My boyfriend and I have things to do. May I show you the way out?"

The grey-haired man didn't need to hear anything else, and left the house with a loud slamming door, while you left your things in the entrance and sat next to your man on the sofa.

As soon as you touched the cushions, he hugged you, putting his head in your lap and his arms around your waist.

"I'm sorry... I know what you said but I kept going crazy trying to do nothing... I thought I could help..."

"Love, love... it's okay... it was unfair from me to demand you not to act, it must have been difficult"

You caressed his hair, while he hid his face in your body to cover his regret. Your fingers ran over his scalp, while your nails scratched and sent warm sensations to his whole form. In your grip and drift, he was completely happy.

"Do you feel a little better now? More relaxed?

"As long as you give me your affection, I'll be fine."

"Actually, let me show you how devoted I am to you."

Rising and running his head carefully, kneeling in front of him, you looked at his sad little face, and decided to make him feel better with his preferred activity.

You stretched out to kiss him, joining the lips of both of you in a slow and compassionate smooch, caressing his cheeks and taking your time to savor him in your mouth. The Uchiha leaned back on the sofa, letting his arms fall to the side of his body, too depressed to even try and reciprocate.

Dealing with his inner doubts was always difficult for him, and when it came to you, they were even more intense. To be enough, to be at your level, to give you everything you deserve. He wanted to fulfill every one of those things. When he failed, he felt completely useless, wanting to hide in bed and not go out for days. But you had discovered the best way to work on his self-esteem was to let him know how utterly perfect he was.

You dragged your hands across the extension of his neck, across his chest, and onto his waist. There, you unbuttoned his trousers, still keeping his lips on yours at a slow pace, revealing a flabby limb.

Breaking the kiss, you knelt again and took his cock in your hands. Bending your head over his lap, you inserted it into your mouth, gradually for him to feel every wet corner of your cavity. Your tongue traveled and wrapped around his length, while you started with up and down movements.

His face contorted at your action, and a soft moan was born from within. The moment was not tinted with passion or hunger, as usual, rather it was an intimate, sweet situation, where love for each other became the professed act of the body and not words.

Hands caressing your hair, while your eyes were fixed on his worked figure, increasingly warming to your supplies.

His erection hardened to the maximum quickly, while your mouth continued to work on him. Grasping his waist, you ran over the head of his limb before sliding your tongue down, finding his sack and sucking.

"I... love you... too... much... I'm sorry...."

Releasing your cavity, you occupied one of your hands along his shaft as you stretched towards his neck, sitting on him but not imposing any weight on his limb. The fact that you were both fully clothed added a special bonus to the occasion, and by kissing his skin, you spoke.

"There is nothing to apologize for... let it go... feel me on you and remember that I am yours..."

It didn't take much more work for his seed to explode, staining both your garments while his body relaxed under you.

"I would really be lost without you."

"But that's what I'm here for."

[beautyofthend]

Watched it. I did have to kind of cover the screen during a lot of Ollie parts, he was creepier than I expected, not even in a super stalkery way, just weird lol. I loved the rest.

I both love and hate how it ended. If there was more to the end scene then it would have felt rushed so I'm kind of glad it was just a small moment. And I'm glad that the scene actually had Nikki wake up and share that look with Jack because I thought they'd keep her sleeping. The look mixed with the hand holding and head stroking made it feel like a truce and an understanding between them. Jack fresh off of his talk with Beattie about if it feels good or right then just do it makes me feel like it's heading in a good direction.

I think how the ending was left leaves them in a good spot to carry on into the next season. We'll probably see them still trying to navigate their feelings towards eachother and I'm not expecting anything to be straightforward at all, but at least finally their feelings have been made pretty clear towards eachother.

Also the lighting in the kiss scene was just so great. I keep rewatching it because the whole moment was just so pretty and although the scene itself was fairly quick it was made into a big moment with the slow mo and the lighting. It was like after the storm when the sun comes through the clouds, and I'll probably have it on loop until season 25 along with the end scene.

Now I just need to not drive myself crazy with scenarios until the next season.

Same don’t worry!! I still think the way they’ve ended that whole Ollie storyline was a little too /easy/ and given S25 takes place directly after S24, I think something may come of that weird situation?

Yesss the ending is bittersweet and it leaves it open for them. But the way he holds her hand is the same way he holds it after he loses his cool in Brother’s Keeper, so I think it’s meant to symbolise their trust and then coming together despite everything that’s happened. It’s almost more intimate than the kiss they shared; because it’s them, vulnerable and open to each other. Ready to take the step forward, they’ve crossed that boundary now, they both know how they feel and they both wanted that kiss. So I am very excited to see where it all goes.

No absolutely their kiss was the light after the storm!! And given that the storm started as soon as Jack slept with Liz, it’s all very metaphorical. But the storm cleansed them, thinking of the quote from the old woman “it’s coming to wash us all clean.” It’s symbolic. Jack and Nikki slept with other people who weren’t each other during that storm but by the end of it, when the storm stopped and the clouds cleared and the sun shone from the sky, they found each other. (Also Jack being the light in Nikki’s life? When she slept with Matt, the lighting was very dark as it was with Ollie. But with Jack it’s light, the sunshine, it’s all very positive!!)

My head is spinning with so many thoughts right now but I absolutely cannot wait to see Nikki and Sam working together!! I think it’s going to be amazing!!

[lizacstuff]

Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.  

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things.  That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer.  (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up! 

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut. 

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right!  I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.  

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another.  Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me. 

@jan31​ Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.  

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons. 

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.  

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama. 

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set.  But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy. 

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them. 

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs. 

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem. 

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because  a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos  b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.  

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on.  Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us!  As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!  

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them. 

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth,  he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases. 

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.  

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens.  And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape. 

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode!  The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch. 

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t.  The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch. 

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!  

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far?  Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches!  I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that.  And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her. 

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!  

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.” 

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well. 

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see!  I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not!  Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time. 

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another! 

[justagirlsearchingforamuse]

Scenario of Sean with a female reader who is on her period. Sounds pretty tame, right? WRONG! One way to get rid of period cramps is by having an orgasm!!!! And I know Sean has something to help with that....

A/N: I didn’t know if you wanted him to fuck her or to eat her out but I did a little bit of both, hope you like it. Also, warning, this is period sex so if you don't like it then please don't read.

You were about 3 days into your period and you were already ready to stab your ovaries out or better yet try to live without them because of the immense pain that you felt throughout your period. Sean hated seeing you in so much pain whenever you came over to cuddle and watch movies with him, so he decided to research what would get rid of the pain. You hated taking different pain medications and if often gave you a terrible headache, he kept searching until he stumbled upon a way that could work well for the both of you. When he had suggested it to you, it made you raise an eyebrow at him. One way of getting rid of cramps was having an orgasm, at first, you would've shied away from the idea but your cramps were killing you. The next day Sean had come over to your house when your parents weren't home, you were lying in bed groaning and whimpering at the unbearable pain. Having an orgasm sounded so much better and if it took away some pain then fuck it, you said mentally. Sean had lied down a large towel underneath you and had made sure that you covered the area where you were leaking. Sean never really had done this before, sure you guys have gotten intimate before but never had done it when you were on your period. He didn't want it to get messy or for it to not be pleasurable but he would've done almost anything to take away your pain and terrible ache. You lied on the towel with little to nothing on, Sean was just in his underwear and he was a bit nervous about doing it and was worried it would a messy. But you didn't care if it got messy.

"Alright, so um ... how do you want to do this? Should I start by eating you our or should I ...?" Sean asks nervously, you let a deep sigh part from your lips before sitting up to meet his nervous eyes. "Look, you don't have to do this ... I mean I'll survive this week. ... Are you sure that you want to do this, babe?" You question him, you didn't want him to be uncomfortable doing it and you wanted to make sure that he still wanted to do it. He licks his lips before answering, "I don't want you to deal with terrible cramps and I just don't want to see you in pain." Sean coos with a tender smile resting upon his lips. "Okay, so ... it's whatever you want to do first, babe ... at this point, I don't care what you do" You chuckle softly as you lie back, you spread your legs as wide as you can as you bite your bottom lip with excitement. Despite the obvious pain that you were in, you couldn't help but feel a bit excited and not to mention insanely aroused, it was crazy how periods made girls feel. One moment you're curled up in a ball, whimpering in pain, and the next moment you want someone inside of you and then you want chocolate and then the cycle repeats. Sean had decided to try and do everything how he normally does it but just avoid fingering you or sticking anything inside of you. It was going to be exciting.

Sean had started it off with a deep and passionate kiss against your delicate lips, he savors the familiar yet intriguing sensations that spread across his lips. You softly groan against his lips, enjoying the feeling of his lips pressed firmly against your own, you felt your body tingle and vibrate with the sweet sensation of arousal. After a few moments, he pulls away from your lips breathless and he feels this rush of arousal pulsate throughout his entire being. "Sean ..." You whine breathlessly, he begins to bury his face into your neck, sucking softly on your tender skin causing you to softly groan at the arousing sensations that left you gasping for more. He stops with a warm smile resting upon his lips that made spread to your chest, filling your ribcage with sweet warmth, he begins to press tender kisses all over your bare torso. You felt his lips press tender kisses all over your breasts and in between the valley of your breasts, god every kiss set your body on fire. You can feel his lips get lower and lower, you bite your bottom lip as you can feel his lips just a few inches above your lower half, you can't help but want him to just devour you slowly yet passionately, you ached for the sweet warmth of his tongue against you. "Sean ... please don't tease me, now ..." You plead in a soft breath, Sean chuckles lightly at your words before begins to press hungry kisses on your thighs, quickly his kisses turn into hickeys and love bites on your thighs. Fuck, it felt so good and the anticipation had already built up for you.

You winced as you felt Sean's teeth graze against your skin causing you to bite your bottom lip at the sensation, you lick your lips before sighing in a bit of irritation. "Sean, please ... I want to feel your tongue against me, baby ..." You pleaded with a bit of desperation, you bit your bottom lip before letting a throaty desperate groan part from your lips at the need for him to touch you. Sean chuckles lightly before asking you one last time, "Do you ... want me to continue or ...?" Sean asks, always making sure that he has your consent, you nod excitedly with a wide smile resting upon your lips. "You know, gotta make sure that you want this ... is it weird when I ask you for consent too often?" Sean asks awkwardly causing you to chuckle lightly at his words, you smile tenderly at him before grinning widely. "I find it hot ... it doesn't ruin the mood it just shows that you don't want anything to be forced and you want to make sure I'm enjoying it." You say in a soft whisper, he smiles softly back you and your eyes meet for a few sugary sweet moments, you found him to be so cute during sex. You found his warm red cheeks to be cute, the way his mocha brown eyes softened at the sight of you, and the way he would gaze intensely into your eyes just ignited a fire that you never knew was being kindled.

Sean licked his lips before he began to slowly run his tongue along your swollen rosebud sending a shudder of arousal racing up your spine and a low groan to part from your lips at the warmth that you felt against your sweet spot. You gulped before lightly biting your bottom lip, desperately awaiting his next move, he began to gently lick your swollen clit whilst his hand's caress and massage your inner thighs. You lowly whined at the warm sensation that ran against your most sensitive spot, biting your bottom lip, you sink your head further in your pillow as you shut your eyes in pure bliss. "Mmh ... Sean ..." You whine deeply as you bit your bottom lip hard, your fingers quickly tangle themselves in Sean's somber black locks,  Sean softly grinned and relished the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He began to lightly suck on your swollen rosebud causing you to curl your toes and to gasp aloud at the warm sensation that sucked you in. The warmth that was on Sean's tongue sucked you in, fuck, he felt so good in between your legs and you were quickly getting hooked on the sensations you felt. "Fuck ... S-Sean ..." You softly groaned as you felt your body become warm at the warmth of his tongue, you felt all the pain that was in the pit of your stomach fade away slowly. Sean found himself blushing deeply as he could feel his cock throb erratically in his boxers, God, the sounds that you made, those sounds of pleasure left him throbbing for your sweet touch.

"You like that, (Y/N) ...?" Sean asks in a whisper, you began to nod before whining a deep and throaty, yes, Sean went back to sucking softly on your clit as whines and moans of bliss flew from your lips. You felt your body tingle and throb with sweet blissful arousal that traveled through your body, biting your bottom, you found yourself breathless and aching for more. "Fuck, Sean ... that's the spot! Mmh, Sean ...!" You moaned breathlessly as you lightly tugged at his hair, you felt warm bliss spread throughout your body as your body trembled and shuddered at the sensations. "Fuck, Sean ... you're doing so good, baby ...!" You whined needily, biting your bottom lip as warm jolts of pleasure traveled through you, it felt like paradise on Sean's tongue and it felt so fucking good. You felt Sean's hands make their way up to your torso to your bare breasts, his fingers began to twist your nipples causing you to whine desperately at the sensations. "Fuck ...! S-Sean ...! Mmh, yes ...! Please don't fucking stop ...!" You moan breathlessly as you can feel him suck harder on your swollen clit causing you to cry out his name in pure ecstasy, you felt everything in your body tingle with sweet pleasure and you fucking loved it. Sean continued eagerly as he began to grope both of your breasts, he continued to suck deeply on your clit as he wanted to hear your sweet cries when you finally reached your peak.

"Fuck! ... Sean! ... Fuck, I'm gonna cum so soon, baby! Ah!" You cried out carelessly as you squirmed and twisted in your bed, biting your bottom lip, you try not to scream your head off at the heavenly sensations you feel. You begin to tug hard on his hair as you began to arch your back as a loud moan of Sean's name parted from your lips, you could feel your stomach coil into a tight knot as you gasped for air at the bliss that washed over you. A loud careless moan parted from your lips as you felt the knot come loose and your body tremble and shudder with sweet ecstasy, you felt your thighs tremble and your toes curl. It felt like heaven. Sean was surprised he didn't cum in his pants, your moans sounded so blissful and so mind-blowingly arousing to hear. He chuckled softly before asking, "Wow, you really enjoyed it, didn't you? ... Do you want me to ... continue?". You chuckle lightly at his words before biting your bottom lip. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind that, babe ..." You say with an enthusiastic smile on your lips, he smiles widely at your words before he quickly grabbed the condom on the nearby nightstand and began to take off his boxers. You heard his boxers fall to the floor and you can hear the bed creak as he gets on top of the bed, you can feel him hovering over you with a soft smile on his lips. "You look so ... amazing like this ... hearing you moan and cry out like that was so ... hot." Sean says awkwardly with a shy grin.

"You don't look so bad either, slim ... God, I can't wait to have you inside of me." You reply back with a light chuckle parting from your lips, Sean smiles warmly at you before firmly pressing his lips against yours once again causing you to moan softly against his lips. He groans deeply against your savory lips before pulling away after a few moments, he looks down and grasps his erection and begins to penetrate you. You could feel him thrust smoothly into you, you could feel him stretching your walls and throbbing erratically inside of you, fuck, it felt so good. Sean gasped loudly at the feeling of you squeezing and hugging his cock so nicely, groaning deeply, he bit his bottom lip before muttering a swear. You began to run your hands up and down Sean's back, you could feel him drive his hips in and out of you at a steady pace causing heavy breaths to part from your lips as well as wanton breathes of Sean's name. "Fuck ... you're so tight ... even with a condom, I can feel how tight you are ..." Sean groans in a soft breath as he continues to drive his hips in and out of you, soft gasps and low groans of his name parted from your lips as you clung to him like your favorite teddy bear. You could feel him lightly graze against your sweet spot, you wrapped your legs around him as you felt your body heat up at warmth that you experienced.

God, you were incredibly tight and god he was just losing himself inside of you, he felt so sensitive to your touch and he loved the feeling of bliss with every smooth movement of his hips. You felt every feeling of pain, every cramp and every uncomfortable feeling in your body fade away and it was replaced with pure bliss, you don't regret this one bit and you loved it all. "Sean ... can you p-please move faster?" You plead in a soft breath, he obeys your soft plead and begins to snap his hips at swifter pace causing you to needily whine at the ripples of pleasure that coursed through you. You could feel him rub against your sweet spot, lightly hitting it causing thick and sharp ripples of ecstasy to course through your entire body as you can hear Sean let a throaty and needy whine part from his lips. Sean found himself throbbing erratically in your tightness, he bit his bottom lip as he drove himself deep inside of you, his movements were smooth and sharp drawing all kinds of sounds of ecstasy out of your lips. "Sean ...! Fuck, baby you feel so ... good!" You whined needily before pressing a firm kiss against his smooth lips, your tongues erotically danced together causing you both to moan against each other's lips. Pulling away from your lips, he buries his face into your neck and begins to snap his hips at a swifter pace sending thick sharp jolts of pleasure traveling through you both. Soft breathless moans flew from your lips as you just let Sean shower you in sweet bliss, you could hear the bed creak loudly with every snap of Sean's hips as your voices of pleasure filled the room.

"Sean ...! Fuck! Mmh, don't stop ... oh fuck! Please don't stop, Sean!" You cried out in a series of moans as you could hear Sean softly moan, your walls were clenched tightly around his cock, almost hugging his cock. Fuck he was glad that the condom was thin as hell because for a moment he thought that he wasn't wearing a condom, biting his bottom lip, he continues to snap his hips into you, flawlessly hitting your sweet spot causing you to cry out. You can feel your body become sweaty and humid, you can hear Sean's soft and needy whimpers in your ear, echoing through your eardrums almost like a beautiful harmony. You could tell he was getting closer and closer to his peak and you were too, his thrusts were becoming sloppy as his whimpers turned into soft needy moans. Sean found himself gasping for air as his heart hammered in his ribcage, he began to slam his hips deep inside of you roughly causing you to cry out shamelessly, your cries echoed through his ears just moments before a loud gasp left his lips. "(Y/N) ...!" He gasped loudly as he felt his orgasm come in ripples and explode like fireworks, he felt his thighs tremble and quiver as he emptied himself inside of the condom. You bit your bottom lip as you found yourself panting and gasping as well, your nails dug into Sean's back as your thighs vibrated and you arched back at the feeling of your orgasm hitting you. Heavy breaths and pants filled the room, Sean had quickly pulled out of you and had gone to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. You lied there, feeling more than satisfied with the results.

He had picked up the towel and had begun to clean what mess you made on the towel and had given you your clothes as well as some feminine products. Sean was now in just a pair of boxers as he lied right beside you as you both shared a headphone, as you both were listening to some indie music that was oddly calming and relaxing. Smiling softly at you, he licks his lips before pressing a delicate kiss against your tender lips, you smile into the kiss before softly giggling at him. "Thanks so much for that, Sean ... most guys would've been disgusted even at doing that. Thanks so much and I'm feeling much better." You say, thanking him once again. "I don't like seeing you just suffering in pain ... besides, it's not that bad and it wasn't even that messy. ... Also, really beneficial for both parties." Sean replies nonchalantly with a warm smile on his lips. You smiled widely back at him before pressing a firm kiss against his lips, your hands cupping his slightly warm cheeks as you passionately kiss him for a few moments. Sean's eyes darted away from yours as he found himself blushing and flustered, you giggled softly at how flustered he got from one kiss. He had to be the one, he had to be different you told yourself.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 1:First Life of Many

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔

Pairing Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Tag: @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

The bus finally pulls up breaking the tension between you and Hitoshi you let out a sigh of relief as the doors to the bus opens.

You both step onto the bus and try to find a seat, Hitoshi nudges your arm gentle "Hey you wanna sit in the back?"

You don't respond to him....I mean how could you with that stupid question you asked him still looming over you like a vengefulspirit. "Maybe I should've stayed quiet" "Did I say to much?" "H-how much did I say?!" .

Your mind begins to think of the worst possible scenarios but then you snap out of it as you feel something warm cover your hand.

It's Hitoshi's holding your hand as he takes you to the open two seater in the back.

Y/n suddenly feels her face heat up as her cheeks blush red this feeling is something that can happen only once in a life time so....you enjoy this short tiny bit of contact like it was your last.

Shinsou hold out his hand giving you access to the seat next to the window "Here you go I know you like sitting next to the window so-" he stares at you and notices your blush and can't help but to do the same.

Seeing you look up at him with genuine happiness makes his chest feel warm and his throat tighten.

"Thanks Hitoshi...". Y/n sits down and scoots over to the window while Shinsou sits down next to you.

Shinsou takes out his headphones once again and puts them on resuming his paused music however before he puts his phone away he receives a text from Izuku Midoriya.

" Hm? What does Midoriya want?"

The Promblem Child🥦

Izuku: Hey Toshiiii~😜

Shinsou: ......kaminari why the fuck do you have Izuku's phone......

Izuku: MY PHONE DIED🥀😪 so I swiped Midoriya's phone while him and Bakugo are arguing in the living cuz bakugo sucks a uno and his sweaty hands are fucking up the cards but they not important rn

Shinsou: ok so what do you want with me

Izuku: Me and and guys are gonna go bowling tomorrow and we wanted to see if you wanted to come 🥺

Shinsou: I don't know I'm kinda busy after school🤷‍♂️sooooo....

Izuku: COME ON YOU GOTTA GO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHUTDOWN BAKUGO'S YELLING

Shinsou: Sounds like I'm baby sitting 😑

Izuku: YOU WON'T BE! YOU CAN BRING Y/N IF YOU WANT SO YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY ALONE PLEASE ANAJHSHSHAJJS

Shinsou: Ok! Ok I'll go but I'll have to ask y/n about what she thinks

Izuku: I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND TOSHI!

Shinsou: Dumbass go put your phone in your mouth you doofus🥱😴

Izuku: I-

Shinsou turns off his and focuses his attention towards you as your head is resting on his shoulder. Shinsou tries his hardest not to ruin the moment so he obviously he stupidly asks " Y-you wanna...hold hands again? I'm getting cold over here".

You normally brush off Hitoshi's stupid flirting because he sucks at it but hearing that he wants your warmth....he need your warmth...Hitoshi needs you.

You and Hitoshi locks hands together both completely quiet but internally freaking out.

Shinsou's brain starts going into overload as he starts think about every romantic movie and think about how they would fuck up a situation like this "Oh no she's really close shit! SHIT DOES MY BREATH STINK?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO FIND OUT,DAMMIT HOLD YOUR BREATH!" Shinsou does just that but you see him oddly do this.

Then you start thinking,"He's holding his breath? Why...did he sniff me...DO I STINK OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T IM SORRY HITOSHI!!!".

The bus hits a speed bump to causing all the seats to jump and it cause the two dummy's to bump heads.

"OW! DAMMIT! Hey are you ok?" You both say in unison then there is a short pause before the both of you burst out laughing.

"We're both so stupid haha!".

"Nah were not stupid great minds think alike " Hitoshi snickers.

You lean in closer to Shinsou as you poke the bump he got on his forehead from crashing into you " OW! HEY!" "That's what you get".

Sometime passes and the bus finally reaches the home bus stop in front of your house. Hitoshi and you get off watching it leave. "Hey Y/n are you busy tomorrow?"

"Umm no actually I'm free why you wanna hang out?"

Hitoshi beams as he scratches the back of his head just then a creepy smile form's on his face " Oh that great! Denki invited me to go out bowling and I wanted to bring what bakugo would call an extra"

You playful punch Hitoshi in the arm " Hey! Don't call me an extra! Ohhhh I swear I'll go feral on Katskui!"

"Oh I know you will... you always do but before you go in I wanna ask are you really ok...?"

Once again you ignore his question he notices and sighs "Y/n i won't use my quirk to make you talk....i promise ...".

Y/n stops smiling as she turns her back on Shinsou walking to the door.

"H-hey did you hear me y/n come on talk to me what wrong?", " I'm really glad I got to meet you Hitoshi Shinso.....You're such an amazing guy and... I just-."

And with that the tears began to fall down your face you look back at Hitoshi to see he's completely shaken up bye your sudden rush of sadness.

" Everything you've done for me there no way words can describe how happy I've been being friends with you and how much you left a impact on me"

Shinsou stops her " what up with all this crazy talk y/n? why are you acting like one you walk through that door I won't see you again?"

You think it would be better then wasting away until you day in 9 days then maybe your heart wouldn't be hurting so much like it is now, hell this pain feels like it's hurts more than the pain the quirk will bring.

Hitoshi brings you into his arm embracing your body in hug. "I promise you that we will be together always and besides-...."

"We got all the time in the world"

Hearing that one line....it finally sinks in that y/n is gonna die...so she does the only thing she can.

You clench Hitoshi uniform as you bury your head in his shoulder and began to breakdown in Shinsou arms. "Y/n?! Hey hey don't cry it'll be ok"

You scream and beg Hitoshi not to leave " You can't leave please don't! I don't wanna lose you Shisou!". "Woah woah lose me? Y-you're not gonna lose me...let's go to my house and clean you up I don't want you parents to see you like this".

Hitoshi takes you to his house right across the street. He quickly opens the door and sits you on the couch "I'll be right back just stay here ok", you nod and Shinsou leaves.

"I don't wanna bring Hitoshi into this and get him all worked up because of me he does so much for me as it is...you know what I mean right?" Shinsou's just meows back at you.

"Of course you get it Kabuki...Hitoshi is always taking care of both of us" you say while petting Kabuki. "I guess liking Shinsou isn't the only thing we have in common huh...".

A few minutes go by and Hitoshi is sitting on the couch wiping your face "Hitoshi come on I know how to whip my own face!". " If you stop moving MAYBE me can get this done quicker!".

Shinsou sighs and lays back on the couch "There now you're all clean up, you're welcome". You lay ontop of Shinsou patting his chest "Looks like the day is saved thanks to pro hero Mind Freak~". He pushes your face smushing it with is hand.

" Ew I told you I'm not calling myself myself mind freak!"

" IT'S COOL!"

" IT'S SCARY! IM TO TRYING HELP PEOPLE NOT TO SCARE THEM OFF" "We'll I'm here and I'm not scared of out you!".

Hitoshi softly puts his hand on your cheek "what I said out there wasn't a lie, Y/N I'm here if you need me...every step of the way...."

You hold Hitoshi hand as your hearing starts to diminish and your body begins to fell light that you begin to wobble and sway back and forth.

"Yeah.....we got all the time in the world...."

Y/n suddenly fall sideways onto the floor lying there motions while Hitoshi eyes widen as he screams " Y/N!!!!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔 As the the first day has come to an end so has 1 of the many lives. And so far Y/n has lost her first life.....🥀

[luffysmeat]

More artist [Name]-san to clean our souls! 💕 I hope you enjoy this! I'm sorry for the long wait! And I'm also sorry because I'm gonna make headcanons instead of scenarios! I hope you don't mind too much! (This one got a bit longer than expected! Sorry for the spam!)

Kidd

It's hard to be an artist.

You always have the need to draw certain people or certain objects because they are appealing to your eyes.

One of those certain people is none other than your captain: Eustass Kidd.

Kidd is fierce. You know that. Even as a lover he's rather the violent, possessive and dominant type.

People usually try to stay away from him, always scowling and looking as he's about to murder the neext person that looks at him.

But, even when you know that, to you... He's a masterpiece.

Your fingers always itch to make a painting or even just a quick drawing of him, from the very first moment you ever land an eye on him.

You can easily ask him, really, but knowing him, he'd say no and that would upset you quite a lot... So you don't risk it, even though...

"You're staring again." ... You always find yourself doing exactly that, staring at him and being exposed by Killer.

You can't really blame yourself. The mere existence of Kidd is enough to have you wanting make a painting of him, so now that he's working out right in front of you... It's really hard not to stare.

His muscles tensing and stretching with each of his movements as he beares his teeth a bit, growling softly, reaching his limit already. He's covered in a thin layer of sweat and, really, who the heck allowed him to work out shirtless?

"For God's sake, you are staring again."

You can't help but laugh, your cheeks burning bright red. "I'm sorry. I really, really want to draw him."

"Don't you have thousands of drawings?"

"I do, but they're just quick sketches, I want to make a painting... Do you think he'd be happy to know that?"

Killer hums, looking at his captain who's suddenly screaming to a poor guy that stepped too close to him while he was doing push-ups.

"No," he simply says and you bark out a laugh, flushing when Kidd looks up at you with narrowed eyes.

Maybe he's right...

However, later that day, when everyone settled down to their respective quarters and you sneaked into the captain's chambers claiming that you were cold, (not after he growled and scolded you while be opened the door for you and threw like three covers to the bed), you thought that it was the time to actually ask him!

So, as you watched him sitting in front of his desk, ("warm yourself up! I gotta finish this first!"), checking on some reports... You know that you really love your lover...

From his protective and fierce side to his always-angry-face, however, you loved him in this state even more: his features relaxed as he reads down on some documents, his hair down and his head free of those goggles of his. He's even wearing a simple long sleeved shirt that wraps around his muscles, his reading glasses sitting gracefully on the bridge of his nose.

He looks ethereal and you immediately reach down for your drawing materials, (which you keep in the last drawer of his bedside table), and place yourself in bed.

"Captain?"

"Hmm?" His hum sounds more like a growl and you laugh.

"Captain, can I make a painting of you?"

He looks up at you, his eyes squinting, "what?"

"I'm sure you heard me."

"I heard you," he snaps back. "But I'm asking why are you such an idiot." You laugh at his words.

"Don't be scared, captain. You'll look even better in my painting."

"Scared?! Who is scared? And even better, is that even possible?" You roll your eyes. "Do whatever you want. I don't care and stop talking, I'm busy right now."

"Is that a yes?"

"[Name]..."

"Thank you captain!" You giggle, quickly pulling out everything, from pencils to brushes and acrylics; placing everything on the bed as carefully as you can. "I know," you say, hearing him open his mouth to speak. "You'll snap my neck if I mess up with your precious bed."

He growls again, but he refrains from saying anything else, coming back to his report.

You don't say anything else, either, as you place the sketchbook into your lap and as soon as you find a clean sheet, you start to trace his form with a light pencil, sketching him easily, thanks to all the practice. Your eyes do not linger on his body, you know by memory each curve, dip and sharp bone on his body.

So it doesn't take long before you start with the actual painting, brushing on your canvas quickly and not noticing that Kidd was looking at you with the softest of looks he can even master.

He makes sure to quickly look down at his paperwork when you look up at him, frowning and pursing his lips a bit.

After a few minutes, he's too engrossed in his work and you are aswell, so when the clock marks 2 am and his back already feels stiff and his eyeslids heavy, he's ready to call it a day and wrap up his work to finally lay down in bed... But he sees you there...

"Oi, I want to sleep already, how much time is gonna-

"I'm done!" You say excitedly, there are actual tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You really did it! You really made a painting of Eustass Kidd! What a nice moment to be al-

"Let me see it."

"E-Eh?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Let me see it, you said I'd look better in your painting that in real life, so let me see how good I look."

Now maybe you have a big mouth, it's true that the painting was good... But Kidd couldn't get any more good-looking... Is not natural... You show him, regardless and he's speechless.

"It's..." He says, getting up from his chair and walking towards you, snatching the painting out of your hands. He studies it carefully, his eyes are wide and his mouth slightly open. "It's..." He looks at you and bites down his tongue, you are looking at him with such a gleam in your eyes! Stop! "It's... Not bad."

"Aah! Really? Do you like it? You can't keep it!"

"Like it? I've seen better! I'm sure you can improve! Unbelievable! You were bragging all around and..." He slowly shuts his mouth as he actually looks for a place to put the drawing. It end ups in a drawer on his desk... A drawer that he very much use it all the time.

That's more than you can ask from Kidd. "I'm glad you liked it, captain."

"... Move, let's sleep now. I'll kill you if you still the blankets."

Killer

He loves looking at you while you are drawing.

He has told you plenty of times that he loves how lovely you look and how adorable are certain things that you unconsciously do when you are too focused.

He has also asked you plenty of times if he can see your art and you answer is always the same:

"O-oh, it's not that great!"

With that little stuttering and all, but he knows you are is great because you do sometimes share a drawing of painting to him.

But you really don't want to show him the rest of your art because... He's in most of it!

He's there eating, training, fighting, even just breathing! You are just too embarrassed to actually show him that!

What if he thinks you are stalking him? ... Even though he's your lover is still very embarrassing.

The less he knows, the better... However, one night when you got quite a few drinks on you and he was taking you back to your room, you just couldn't keep your mouth shut.

"I love you," you say over and over again as he walked you to the room and placed you in bed.

"I love you too."

"And you are very hot." That caught him a bit off guard as he tried to pull your hair in a bun. "That's why I can't stop drawing you."

"... What?"

You giggle like a maniac. "That's the reason I don't let you look at my drawings! They're all you! Every single one."

He's blushing juuust a bit as he puts his mask off. "Every single one?"

"Mhmm," you nod. "Every single one... I actually want to make a painting of you!"

"... Do it."

"Really?" He nods and you smile widely. "Then I will... But right now I'm sleepy, so goodnight, I love you see you..."

You fell asleep in seconds, losing a small smile on Killer's lips and a kiss on your forehead.

But that's okay because you are way too embarrassed the next morning.

You actually just exposed yourself while drunk, huh? Great! Just great, now he will think that You-

And then you remember, he actually said you could make a painting of him!

You look at your side, Killer is still asleep, so you silently gather all your art stuff and get to work immediately.

You don't feel time passing until Killer started to wake up, groaning softly like he always does and making you giggle.

He looks at you right away, surprised to see you up, sitting on the bed. "Morning. Why are you awake? How are you feeling?"

You smile at him. "Good morning. I'm good, thank you for taking care of me. And I was... Just finishing your painting."

He wakes up fully right away and sits up, looking at you with slightly wide eyes. You giggle, placing a hand on his cheek. "You are so beautiful. Thank you for letting me do this."

He leans in your touch and nods as you lend him the still fresh painting. He widens his eyes slightly.

"This is..."

"You looked so paceful, I couldn't resist painting you like this. I... Wanted a painting of you without your mask, though, I'm sorry."

He looks at the painting for minutes before he finally puts it down and and holds you between his arms.

"Thank you. I love it. I'll keep it forever."

You smile widely, embracing him back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Oh, let me clean this up, I'm gonna ruin the sheets aga- oh, nevermind."

He laughs and you feel in heaven.

Baby 5

"Are you drawing again, [Name]?"

You jump out of your skin, quickly closing the sketch book in front of you.

"B-Baby 5-san, you scared me."

Baby 5 squeaks and apologizes like crazy, nearly crying in the spot.

"A-ah! It's fine! It's fine! It's not your fault!" You chuckle, holding her hands between yours. "I am not angry," you say smiling at her.

She lets out a long sigh, holding your hands back. "W-what are you drawing so focused?" She asks shyly, widening her eyes when your cheeks turn bright red. "Oh?"

"It's- it's nothing bad! It's just... It's just..." You let go of her hands to cover your face. "I really want to draw Baby 5-san... But I'm not sure if-

"You- y-y-y-y-you want to draw me?" She grabs your shoulders, shaking you a bit.

"Y-Yeah, Baby 5-san is really beautiful and I want to make a painting... For you..."

Baby 5 looks at you for like one second before she actually starts crying, hugging you tightly. "B-Baby 5-san, don't cry please! Did I upset you?" You hug her back, but she grabs you by the shoulder again, shaking you until you feel dizzy.

"Y-You didn't upset me! I'm happy! Stop being so stupid! But you are not stupid! I'm sorry for saying that!" You hold her back, trying to stop her shaking you as you giggle.

"Then, is that a yes? Can I make a painting of you?"

"Yes, you can! Dammit!"

You really don't ask her to make any pose for you, you only need to see her around and about to catch all of figure.

She gets a bit nervous, though, because you are following her around and also get a bit worried because she sees you holding all of your stuff everywhere you go.

She cries a bit when you accidentally let one of your acrylics fall, messing up the floor.

"I've finished," you say that night when both of you are back into your quarters. "It's still a bit fresh, so please be careful with your fingers- Oh," you whisper, hiding the painting behind your back. "D-Do you want to look at it?"

"What? Yes, of course I want to!"

You smile shyly at her, and slowly show your painting.

She cries and you laugh a bit.

"Now now, you've been crying a lot today. Is it that bad, Baby 5-san?"

She hits your arm, making you laugh. "Don't be silly! I love it! It's... It's so pretty! No one has... Has ever made something like this for me. I- I-

You hug her tightly, kissing her cheek. "You are my beautiful girlfriend, of course I would make something just as beautiful as you. I love you."

She sobs and leans in to kiss you. You hum, holding her face between your hands as you kiss her back.

Lola

"Lo-Lola-san!" You giggle, trapped between her arms as she covers your face with kisses. "S-stop!" Your cheeks are bright red, Lola only squeezing you tighter in her embrace.

"What do you mean stop?" She asks, actually stopping to look at you. "You expect me to just sit there and say 'okay' when you ask me to make a painting of me?! Impossible!"

"I-If you are kissing me like this, I will not be able to actually do the painting!" She hums, kissing you one more time before she lets go of you.

"After you are finished with the painting, please marry me, [Name]," she says seriously, holding your hand between hers.

You giggle shyly. "I already said that I will marry you, now let me get my stuff ready, okay?"

Lola is usually very composed, but, as soon as you asked her if you could make a painting of her, she nearly cried, screaming and throwing hearts and flowers everywhere and even using that funny voice of hers when she feels too "enamored".

"How should I pose for you, [Name]?"

"I heard you saying that you have to take care of some paperwork, you can do that while I work on your painting!"

You laugh nearly all your painting session.

Everytime you look up at Lola, she's in a different pose, each pose more dramatic than the last.

She even asks you to stop laughing because "you're gonna ruin my painting, [Name]!"

"I will not ruin it if you stop doing such poses!"

She eventually stopped, not because she wanted to, but because she got a bit occupied with her paperwork.

Now that your laughter died on, you worked faster and in a couple of hours, you were sighing and stretching your arms up.

"Lola-san, I've finished!"

She literally jumps out of her seat and runs to you in a blink of an eye.

She gasps as she looks at the painting. She's not sitting just sitting formally in front of her desk, she is actually in one of her silly poses, showing her big smile and the warm eyes he looks at you with, her cheeks flushed slightly and it's just-

"[Name], it's beautiful!"

"That's because you are beautiful, Lola-san!" She looks at you with teary eyes. "You are the one in the painting, so of course it is beautiful, just like you!"

She lets out a cry and wraps you in another tight hug, even lifting you a bit.

"Thank you, [Name]! I love you so much!" She cries as she gives you another round of endless kisses.

"I love you too, Lola-san!" You answer giggling and hugging her just as tight.

[terrablaze514]

Being Black + R. Kelly, Living With Secrets, and Writing Catatonic Fanfics

Hey everyone.

I'm up extra early, because this is bugging my mind and heart right now. The words might leave if I don't voice (write) it.

In a few hours, I'll be going to church again. Christian, yes. Predominantly Black, you've guessed it. Both of these cancel each other out. Why?

Despite my suspicions growing up, the vast majority of Black people I knew (family, friends, acquaintances, etc.) were still jamming to R. Kelly's music. It makes all the more sense why he's known as, "The Pied Piper", and that's scary as buck if you stop to think about it.

I've never understood why he was permitted to keep making music. Why the buck does Wendy Williams still have an audience? Why did 2Pac and Michael Jackson get destroyed by false allegations (until their sunset), while R. Kelly is still a free man in the music industry with proof of sexual deviance in multiple court cases?

I was 7 when I was molested by a grown woman. I couldn't approach my parents about it, because she became a close friend to my mother, got closer to other notable family friends, and I was already misunderstood at school and church (Grade 2 was a horrible year). My parents were also coming to terms with their breakup, so it didn't help (because what if they had another physical altercation?). Top that with the ongoing belief that men were innately predators...

October 2018, I've had a nightmare of her stalking me while visiting my hometown (the 514) - woke up in a sweat, purchased Black Panther on Google Play Movies, and watched the movie until my eyes shut again... Because mentally, I needed to feel safe. I wanted Wakanda's protection. And I ended up getting it in my dreams (occasionally). M'Baku and The Jabari Tribe are the best!

Back on topic... So, while I'm happy that justice is happening, I'm also disappointed. Deeply disappointed in The Black Community for sweeping this issue under the rug.👏🏾Every.👏🏾 Single.👏🏾Time.👏🏾 I understand firsthand why it's hard to come forward. Allow me to explain (and these are some of the reasons why going to church is a farce in my book).

I've shared with a few Gundam Wing fans (via Discord) that I've sung in three choirs (four if school curriculum counts). To this day, I still jam to my favourite songs and sing as a secret means to calm down when times are too stressful (and if I have no access to a pen and notebook). So why bring this up? Simply put, during my tenure in the third choir, I was spanked and grabbed on the buttocks for holding the door open for an elderly man. [This isn't funny, so if you're laughing, check yourself or leave my blog ASAP]. Not only did this trigger my fear and cripple my confidence as a young adult, but I wasn't able to focus. I've felt scared... Moreso when I've relayed the incident to a few choir members. They've laughed it off, because it sounded funny to them.

It didn't help that this also happened a week after one of my closest friends had died from cancer (and I couldn't make it to his funeral). So being forced to laugh it off, take it with a grain of salt, and keeping it moving wasn't easy. Also, being Black means you don't cry. "Stay strong," is all people would ever say.

I've also been approached and stalked by some strange men, around my age (no older than 27). I'd be waiting at the bus stop so I can commute to work. Strange man shows up, and requests (to the point of begging) that I take the taxi with him. One week later, he begs me to skip work and come over to his place. For what, only God knows. I didn't go, but I've sent text messages to friends. The majority of them found it funny - except one, who also called to check up on me. If it were up to him, he'd drive across town and set the stalker straight.

That was then.

There was a fellow co-worker (cisgender woman) who used to touch, or feel up my inner thighs and buttocks without my consent, and in the presence of customers. How many times have I reported her, yet supervisors promoted her, and would say, "That's her way of giving people props."

What the heck?

Then, by the time I was 25, I've reached my breaking point despite graduating from college and acquiring two careers to call my own. My physical appearance (gaining weight), marital status ("let's find a boyfriend for you on WhatsApp Messenger"), and popularity were the only things that mattered. Damn it all to the grave.

Dating prospects were more like, groomers. And they were all Christian Churchians.💯 I've never given up the V-card, but I've tried to fit in to the point of mental starvation and social exhaustion. In the worst case scenario, I've heard adults (including a parent) poke rape jokes. What's so funny about that?

We sure as hell did not deserve Aaliyah, because the ignorance is real.

I've ended up writing a fanfic project that deals with the music industry, and emphasizes deep comparisons between a good rep team versus an evil rep team, by pulling bits and pieces of experiences by real artists, as well as my "inability to be more transparent/speak up/get out of my shell", and conceptions of what could go wrong if there was no access to a healthy outlet... Combined them into the realities of the characters I'm borrowing. It's still in progress; I'm a perfectionist, yet, the story needs to be told.

There's a second project where two cousins grow up together in the kingdom, get separated after the death of a family member, and the elder cousin searches for his bestie in America. Friendships are formed, but there's also a rampant rape culture against girls in the community where his cousin took residence... Pedophiles will get killed after witnessing the dismissal of reports by police. Go figure.

Writing these types of things, is an outlet. I don't condone abuse, murder, things of that dark nature, but honestly. I grew up in a rape culture. I need a healthy way to deal with (process) that.

Talking about it to people is only safe enough in therapy sessions. Outside of that, get laughed at. Mocked. Told that You deserve it (or did something to deserve it).

I've contemplated suicide last month. Resurfaced memories do more harm than good... And even if I followed through on December 29th (I'm glad I didn't), everything in this post, especially the woman predator who was a babysitter, is the secret I would've taken to my grave. Who could I talk to without feeling unsafe or unwelcome? Without laughing it off in a dismissive manner? Without assuming that I've done something to deserve it, like forgetting to pull on my panties first?

No one.

I've been taught that my big butt, juicy thighs, bust... Yet fat belly, rolls on my back, and somewhat bouncy arms, are something to be ashamed of. From 14 to 23, I used to sport Beyoncé's figure (used to be slimmer)... Yet I still had to feel guilty for embracing that, because if I didn't cover up... If I walked out late... If I didn't keep up with trends... if I didn't turn up for what... If I didn't drop it like it's hot, turn around and bump bump bump, my body too bootylicious for 'em, 'cause if it's worth it lemme work it... And whenever I did these things...

I am guilty.

Now that I'm older, and I don't do these things as often...

I am still guilty.

Because I grew up in a community and a society that hates rapists and pedophiles while making excuses for rapists and pedophiles if I spoke up. If other girls and women spoke up. If boys and men came forward with their true accounts without receiving homophobic comments, or the overused, "You became a real man, congratulations!" Canada's Supreme Court will not keep a sex predator behind bars for more than ten years. That's all the additional proof you need.

The hypocrisy was real, and it still is.

There was an incident where a little girl complained about a church elder touching her... No one believed her.

Later on in my teens, a teenage boy was falsely accused of sexual harassment, and everyone believed the lie (except his closest friends, whom told her to stop following them around).

Another church elder (and a Bible thumper), fondled my breasts out of spite - and my mother blamed me! The next time I've seen that elder, I've set her straight, but who the hell am I for talking? She's still the most respected because she knows every scripture passage, from Genesis to Revelation, and also knows every volume, word for word, from The Spirit of Prophecy. So she has no sin...

THE LIES!

I was nervous shaky the entire time.

So growing up Black, in a church community, as a girl (now a woman) had many catastrophes. I'm not crazy for putting this out there, just keeping it real. I'll be in church in approximately less than three hours from now, and if anyone cracks jokes or makes demeaning comments about R. Kelly's current and former victims, talking about how they're fast, and how they should've come forward... Nah, Hollywood gets away with sexual deviance against minors. A large percentage of them have bought R. Kelly's music, at music stores and on iTunes/Google Play Music. No surprise, huh? As much as I love my church family, I cannot accommodate the ignorance that's gone on for my whole life so far. *Sigh* This has blackened my heart, I just... I am at a loss, not only for R. Kelly's victims, but every child and youth who will be targeted by men and women who cannot be trusted.

I will always support Black Empowerment, Black Lives Matter and Black History... But I have zero tolerance for the enabling of pedophiles and rapists. Even the jokes. It's distasteful.

If you are a supporter/apologist of R. Kelly, Sparkle, Marques Houston, and any other person who'd used/subjected minors to assault and/or grooming, get off my page. And stop pretending to be a huge Aaliyah fan... We've lost her because the adults in her life had failed in exchange for her fame. We also owe Michael Jackson's family an apology for destroying his character and career under false allegations, while R. Kelly was still a free man, preying on girls and grooming boys to become like him... And all the evidence of his crimes were readily available on the archives while I was in Junior High. While we're at it, Kitti Jones and Drea Kelly need to take several seats. They've had every opportunity to approach the police. They've known what R. Kelly did to all those girls and how it's destroyed their youth. They are the poorest examples of how to put sex offenders in their place, just so they can get money now that #MeToo (who never gave a damn about half of your experiences, unless you were penetrated by a man)... Nuh-uh! The lives that were destroyed by rape, molestation, grooming and exploitation matter more than the money anyone might make from a case that should've been dealt with decades ago! My heart is very heavy throughout this post. I know it's Sabbath hours, but I'm currently listening to "Don't Stay" by Linkin Park, because it truly reflects my thoughts and memories, in the wake of #SurvivingRKelly.

Everyone (especially Black people) who put on R. Kelly during weddings and birthday celebrations, I've taken notes. You will not be trusted around my future children (if it's meant to be). I've never healed, yet. The community does not offer a safe space to heal from the damage that's been done. So when I hear about Chester Bennington (Linkin Park -I hope I spelled his name right), AJ and Nick (Backstreet Boys - their parents stood up for their sons), B2K (especially Raz-B), IMx, Sammy, O'Ryan, the victim of Brock Turner, a few victims of Bill Cosby and that actor from 7th Heaven, the young girl who was sexually assaulted and exploited by that loser who was granted a chance to finish up his studies at UofC (University of Calgary), Natasha McKenna who was stripped, dehumanized and tasered in her last moments by eight men, the former victims of Eddie Long who were forcibly silenced, the girl who was raped, hospitalized and raped again in the hospital by her father and brother... This is real ish. I have no more words. Leave my page if you support R. Kelly... Special shoutout to John Legend for keeping it real. Another special shoutout to Terry Crews who spoke up. To the victims of Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, you also need to get your voices heard, because you also matter. To the victims of Ryan Seacrest, the same also applies. May Corey Haim Rest in Power, because Charlie Sheen is getting his just reward for what he did decades ago. Although I'm glad B2K is reuniting for tour, I've been conflicted with how R. Kelly wrote your popular hits. That wasn't your fault, though. Your former manager (Chris Stokes - another pedophile) had that set up for your grooming - good thing y'all left TUG behind when you did. Other artists and notable faces in the entertainment industry - you don't have to comment, but I beseech you to STOP collaborating with R. Kelly. What he did to those girls is beyond me. If you keep enabling him, you're now guilty for proving that rape is okay.

It is not.💯

[kachuwritings]

If you won't pay attention to me, I'll make you

anonymous asked: Can I have a fluffy smut for Vernon and a female reader? I like smut but not hardcore. Could you make it like the S. Coups one please?

Pairing: VernonxReader

Genre: fluffy smut

Word Count: 1.5k+

Synopsis: Vernon had been chatting on the phone with Seungkwan for so long while you were sitting there, not worthy of receiving any of his attention. If he wasn't going to pay any of his attention to you, you'd make him then.

a/n: I'm so so sorry it took me so long. I just couldn't come up with a plot during finals :( I'm still not finished with them but I'm halfway done, so I found the time to finally write this!♡ I hope you're still around on here and enjoy~

Also; it isn't stated which gender the reader has in this scenario, I hope that's okay for you as well.🙊

It was another one of these lazy days which you spent together with your boyfriend Vernon. His promotions had ended about a week ago and you luckily had semester break, which meant that the both of you would finally have enough time for each other. The first day you had wasted away lying in bed, cuddling, eating and watching movies. After such busy weeks all you had wanted to do was be for lazy for once and lie around all day. You deserved that after having worked so hard for so long. The next day you had gone to the park and enjoyed a nice picnic date together including the ever so cheesy act of feeding each other with chocolate covered strawberries. After that you hadn't quite figured out what to do the next day.

So today you expected him to make some kind of plans with you but it seemed he wasn't really in the mood to make plans, or pay any attention to you at all. You didn't really understand why he was behaving so weirdly today and why you suddenly felt so distant toward him. He'd rather spend time on the computer or on his phone even though he normally preferred touching you over basically every technical device. He wouldn't ignore you per se, he just seemed to have other priorities than you today. To be honest it did frustrate you. You knew you shouldn't expect too much of him but seriously, you hadn't much time for each other during busy times, so of course you had hoped to spend all your free days with him.

At that moment he was already being on the phone with Seungkwan for over half an hour. You understood he was his best friend but they saw each other basically everyday, what was there to talk about for so long? Hm, could it be you were jealous now? Maybe? You didn't know. You only knew that you wanted him to notice you, now. He had been sitting on the couch with his legs spread apart, one hand holding the phone up to his ear, the other playing mindlessly with the hem of his shirt. After further observation and you noticing once again how good-looking your boyfriend was and how well built his body looked, you couldn't deny the not so appropriate thoughts and images flooding your mind. Admittedly, it had been quite a while since the both of you were intimate with each other and you had to bite your tongue in order not to lick your lips even though Vernon had been so engrossed in his phone call, he probably wouldn't have even noticed how your hungry eyes were lingering on him. God...couldn't he finally end this damn call and pay you at least some of his attention? You didn't want to seem desperate but it was getting gradually harder to suppress all these inappropriate thoughts in your head.

After waiting for another fifteen minutes without Vernon appearing to be ending the call any time soon, you started losing your patience and continuously staring at him wasn't helping your situation at all. You had to admit, you were starting to feel thirsty for him and you couldn't hold back all the images and fantasies taking over your mind.

Before it would drive you completely crazy, you needed to come up with a solution. After taking another look at Vernon's comfortable position on the sofa and the loose sweatpants he was wearing, an idea started forming in your mind. Determined to make your plan into reality you walked up to the sofa and stood right in front of Vernon but to no use, he still didn't seem to find it important to pay some attention to you, not even something as subtle as glance, nothing. Okay, well Mr. Choi two could play at that game. If he wasn't going to notice you, you’d make him.

Sinking down on your knees right in front of him earned you a short glance from him though, until he averted his eyes elsewhere again. You'd start by resting your hands on his knees and massaging them gently, gradually but slowly moving up his thighs. When you reached the inside of his thighs and caressed them lightly and seductively, his eyes would travel towards where you had put your hands. Then he'd search for making eye contact with you just to signal you to please stop doing what you had started. Of course you wouldn't listen to his silent orders. You continued stroking his thighs, coming dangerously close to the desired area you've been waiting for to touch. Teasing him like that for a while seemed to be working well, you were able to make out a faint outline of a hard-on through his sweats. Looking up at him, you got almost startled because he was staring intently at you while still talking with Seungkwan on the phone as if nothing was about to happen in a short while and the tension couldn't be cut with knife. Averting your gaze again, you then focused on lightly palming him through the rather thin fabric of the sweats. You could feel how he grew harder under your touch and basically twitched to life.

Vernon’s breathing would speed up and become more ragged, though he was still masking all of his excitement and leisurely talked to Seungkwan as if he didn’t just have you palm him through his pants. You slowly slipped your hands inside his pants then, tugging them down with you in one go and after, freeing him from his briefs as well. He'd lightly push his hips up, so you had easier access to undress him which meant he probably wasn't going to stop you.

You gripped his dick with one hand and pumped him a few times, gently spreading the leaked precum to lubricate him. He drew out a long breath that he was probably holding in for a while. It would slowly start getting harder for him to focus on his phone call when you were working him like that. When you felt like you could move further, you lowered you head until you could close your lips around his tip. You started off by gently nipping on it, taking more in with each time you went down on him. At the same time you were still pumping his shaft and everything you wouldn’t be able to fit into your mouth. You sucked him deeper into your mouth and pressed your tongue to the underside of his dick, applying pressure. By then his skin was already covered in a thin layer of sweat, his chest was heaving up and down and he had a hard time following whatever Seungkwan was telling him because his eyes were clammed shut and he bit on his lip in order to prevent any unwanted sounds to leave his throat.

When he started to push his hips up and basically thrusted up in your mouth, you could feel that he was getting closer to reaching his peak. His free hand was balled into a fist, resting on the sofa right next to his thigh.

Seungkwan seemed to be asking him questions then since Vernon started speaking up and babbling some stuff he was probably asked by him. Now, that he couldn't bite his lip anymore and had to speak, you realized how turned on he actually was because his voice was literally shaking and you wondered whether Seungkwan would notice the change in the atmosphere.

“Oh yeah...It was...g-great...a-and what, what did you wa- huh wait? Oh...no. I think...uhhh, listen Seungkwan I-I re-reallz should end it he-here...talk to y-you an other time...Okay?”

With every ounce of strength he had left, he gave Seungkwan an excuse to end the phone call and not even a whole minute after ha had hung up, you could feel his climax appearing. Sucking him in extra deeply and putting in some more effort to bob your head up and down on him, gave him the last kick he needed to explode. His muscles would tense up and his body started to spasm while you could feel him shooting his load inside of you, with you milking him dry.

After his orgasm he'd try to catch his breath again, still breathless and totally worn out. You cleaned him up by making sure to suck him clean and tuck him back into his underwear and sweats. He then lifted you up on the sofa next to him, gently holding your chin with one of his hands, looking you in the eyes. “Is that my reward for not paying attention to you, love?”

You low-key blushed. “I guess.”

“Oh...well if so, I'll make sure to ignore you more often,” he playfully responded already awaiting your offended glare. “I'm kidding darling.”

He then reaches down to gently kiss your lips. You continued kissing him until your kisses started getting more heated and he heaved you up onto his lap. “Are you ready for me paying you back, honey?”

You eagerly nodded, craving to be touched by his hands. You were in for a long afternoon now, that you had awoken the beast within Vernon.

[momo-de-avis]

So I read your big personal post and I'm furious. It makes me see red that adults can watch children be treated like ants and feel ok to ignore it. I wanna say I'm truly sorry that you had to go through all of that, and I hope you can grow free-er and free-er from it in the future 💕 A question, though: how can you still keep in touch with them? I'm trying my hardest to leave home and run away from these demons or else I'll never be happy, how and why do you do it? If you wanna answer, of course

Thank anon, your words mean a lot to me and rest assured I may not have the strength every single day to do it, but at least I’m conscious about my effort and just... keep going the best I can. And I do believe one day I’ll manage to look back and say ‘boy, did I grow up’. There are days when I do already and it feels revigorating, to say the least.

And I don’t mind at all answering. I share these things about my life because where I stand I have at least learned a few things (I do have my therapist to thank for that) and by sharing that it might help others.

There’s a lesson I learned with her that became super important in balancing out who I am and who I am with my family. It has to do with that feeling of guilt that comes with the whole experience. Because one thing I did hear a lot was how ungrateful I was, a kid who didn’t care about her family, who wasn’t there for them, etc etc. And because my experience as a kid within the foundation of family can be translated with ‘left to my own, trying to find my own way of surviving and growing’ what that resulted in was forcing me to try and change others.

Which is a lost battle. And that’s what I had to learn the hard way.

To quote my therapist: it’s a dangerous thing to believe you can change others, but it’s important to learn that you can change the environment around you by changing your attitude.

A few weeks back, I was talking about Christmas with her, because she knows Christmas is that time of the year when crippling depression strikes like a goddamn lover, although it’s been getting better with every year. Mostly because ever since I started spending Christmas with my bf’s family (who are the prime example of just... how a family should be, so much it fucking threw me off my balance the first time I met them like---holy shit this is a real fucking family), I finally got the perspective of the two opposites. And I was telling my therapist that there was one thing I learned, given my current situation, that made christmas with my family a lot more bearable.

I can just... leave. Like, if they piss me off, I can just get up and say goodnight and off I go. This isn’t something most people can do, because they’re not given that liberty. But what was new here was that I actually allowed myself to say and believe that. Because my whole life I was dragged back and forth between family shit where I guilt-tripped into taking part of these celebrations and it ruined the experience for me, and it forced me to withstand all of it against my will. So to tell myself ‘you don’t have to put up with this shit, actually, you can just leave’ was a turning point for me.

And this came out of a VERY long process of accepting who those people are. I remember the appointment I had right after Christmas, I told her: I remember sitting at the table with my family and thinking: wow.. I genuinely don’t like these people. I don’t see myself in them at all, and they have nothing to do with me, and I want nothing but distance and the bare minimum of contact. I just don’t fit in.

To learn about who you are in this scenario, you have to learn about who the people around you are. You have to accept that trying to change them will only lead you to more frustration. The best you can do is learn to adapt enough that it doesn’t corrupt you but it doesn’t expose you to danger (it’s basically why there’s an encouragement to let LGBTQ people remain closeted if they choose to out of self-perseverance, even if they have already come out to their friends---because you act a different way with your family, and sometimes that means survival). Now, granted, that’s a hell of a learning process---at best, a trial and error kind. But it’s one of the ways to preserve yourself.

I really had to accept that these people, the way they are, is more than something that is susceptible to change. There’s a whole ritual to the way they exist. My mom is stuck in the past, and she projects that onto both of us---she treats my brother like he’s still a 14 year old in private school, and me like I’m still a teenager, to the point where she refuses to memorize the things that changed about us past that age, like how she doesn’t understand how I don’t like that band I used to listen to at 15. My brother comes up with fucked up rituals that were never there, but exist to paint a picture of ‘how-it-should-be’, of good manners and eloquence, to the point where he literally comes up with memories that never existed (he still believes that we used to eat Fatias Douradas on Christmas, when the entire family has reiterated that my grandmother never even cooked them---and that's is why every single Christmas he buys them, only to throw them in the garbage because no one ate them). That puts me in the position of the old portuguese saying: in the land of the blind, the one who sees is a king. And the moment it snapped in my mind that these people were living a fantasy to cover up for the atrocities they committed against each other, for the fucked up things they’re stuffing in the back of their minds in pure denial, I sort of became at peace with that. Because it gave me more confidence in myself.

When I told my therapist recently about how witnessing my nephew’s behaviour was like watching a script I had written, because I predicted every single thing about it, she asked me why did that matter to me. And I told her ‘because I was validated by none other than myself. It means I understand their dynamic, it means I know now how they work a little better. And I know now there is very little I can do, so I chose to step aside.’

So, to answer your question, in all honesty, there are a series of external factors that came into play. Without them, I certainly wouldn’t have made it as well as I did. The fact that I was so quickly and easily embraced by my bf’s family was a breath of fresh air, and it was the one thing I never got as a kid and what I am so thankful for. It gave me perspective and it’s still teaching me a sense of belonging. That sort of puts my mind to ease, so that when I face my family, I’m more relaxed because I understand my place a lot better, and I understand that the place they want me to fulfil isn’t normal, not for me and I don’t have to fulfil it if I don’t want to.

The fact that I can just get up and leave whenever I want helps a lot. I have accepted that my family is like a retail job. I can only stand that shit for no longer than 8 hours a day, and 8h to me is too damn much. I would say 5h. When I’m with them, it’s never for any longer than that because otherwise I’ll go crazy.

And then there’s bit... In all honesty, I see my mom a lot more than I see my brother (I must see him like, some 5 times a year), and I can tolerate and accept her presence a lot more. I guess I do have the ability to forgive, and that’s what allows me to move forward, because the fact remains that, when you grew up with an alienated mother and no maternal figure to rely on, and as a grown woman you finally see those attitudes your kiddie self wanted so much, you sort of succumb to it. You embrace it because you’ve craved it for so long, even if your inner goblin is screaming ‘IT’S TOO LATE NOW’. Most of the times, my mind is at conflict, thinking: this isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this. But a part of me just really wants to move past that, forgive and accept that she has her own fucked up way of changing and showing support. There have been moments even when I thought ‘she acknowledged her faults, even if she will never say them allowed or ask for forgiveness’ and that sort of eased me (although I’m a leo... I forgive, but damn I don’t forget).

I think the main ingredient here is that I always felt left out and shunned by my family. But now, I feel like I’m the one leaving them out and shunning them. They don’t know what’s going on with my life, and although they don’t really ask, you can tell at times they try to pry. And I don’t tell them shit.

It’s funny, last session I told my therapist the one thing I would never share with my family was my writing because they never acknowledged it the way I needed it to be acknowledged, and that ruins the experience of writing for me. And that’s a bit how I balance tolerating them while being me. The things that are important to me, they’re locked away and they’re not touching them. All they get to live with is a cut-out version of myself that they think is the person they know, but someone completely different. I let them believe their own conceptions of myself while preserving my own achievements and the things I treasure to myself. 

It’s basically creating the persona they believe I am when I’m with them versus the person I really am everywhere else (trust me when I tell you they get completely baffled when they hear my friends say the most basic shit about myself---like how my mom got dumbfounded when she learned through my godmother that I actually did know a lot of drug addicts and dealers but stood away from using while not being the sort of person my brother is and dehumanize them. She really couldn’t conceive that I was that person because all her life she believed everything I did was because someone else did it and I followed. She is so keen on refusing to accept I do things out of my own free will she’s thrown off her balance when she learns that like, the pink hair thing in 2006 was actually sort of a trend setted in my school lmfao)

(oh shit this got WAY TOO LONG)