#because I think sometimes exploring what will happen if it all goes wrong is interesting

[pastafossa]

Preview of Angsty In-Progress TRT What If fic

Right so there won't be a chapter cause I'm still in Covid Brain Fog Town, Population: Me which is affecting my writing (I've gotten a bit written but it's slow going). But I have found time to edit that sad thing I'd been working on BEFORE getting sick and I'm planning to release that because I think it works as a really good illustration of just what the stakes are in TRT if they get this wrong. AKA: a what-if, in which all their preparations fail and Jane is taken (spawned by an ask in my box that's been chewing at my brain for months now).

This will be a really dark and angsty side-fic, and the ending won't be happy per se, although I'm planning to give a little hope at the end since I'm not a COMPLETE monster, but I don't expect everyone to read it regardless and am designing it so there's no need to if you'd prefer to stick to TRT canon. BUT if you DO want to read something like this, here's a preview of the first section.

Warnings for: angst (obviously), blood, reference to shock collars.

Preview wordcount: around 1k

Putting this behind a cut.

Sad Matt gif cause this part's from his POV and it will not be fun.

There should have been a fight. 

That had always been the plan, an unspoken agreement the moment you’d decided to stay. You’d all known the Man in the White Coat, Cyrus James, would come to town eventually. It was an inevitability, a reality, and it was one you’d prepared for. Slowly, you’d gathered in your allies, armor composed of S.H.I.E.L.D., of the Ferryman, of the Punisher and the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and even Spider-Man, had you asked. There’d been plans and backup plans, alarm systems and fail safes. And just in case that still wasn’t enough, you and Matt had taken to practicing, over and over and over again, all the ways you could signal him should your hunter slip through the cracks. 

It was foolproof. 

It should have been foolproof. That was what you’d all believed. 

You were all wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong.

This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. 

There was no battle. 

It’s my fault. 

No war along the familiar streets that had become your home. 

I should have sensed him. 

There’d been no signal given. No warning, no alarm that rang out, not when you were walking home after a late case. 

Caught alone in the dark.

Where are you, sweetheart? Please, just give me something, anything—

You didn’t even have time to scream, they said.

Not physically, anyway.

He’d felt your fear before on occasion, when you reached for him psychically. Then, your presence felt like the frantic bite of your nails in his skin, tasted like the sharp tang of cold sweat and burning adrenaline, sounded like the stuttered racing of your heart, a drumbeat in his ears that never failed to set his own heart racing as he cast his senses out, hunting for threat-threat-threat and for those that dared to harm you. He’d felt your fear when you woke in the quiet dark of the apartment, and when you’d been trapped beneath the warehouse in a cruel, dusty cell. He’d felt it, too, that night Frank had chased after you. 

He thought he’d known the flavor of your fear. 

But those moments were nothing compared to the moment your deepest, darkest fear became… real. 

The deafening psychic scream that tore through the thread with all the force of a hurricane was like nothing he’d felt before, or ever would again. That storm was all-consuming, the world around him gone in a heartbeat as the sudden wave brought him to his knees, his mouth shocked open on a silent shout. He could barely breathe through that terrified tide, one cold as bitter ice, your panicked heartbeat less a drumbeat than a constant roar in his ears as your panic rolled through him. This was the tremor of muscle and blind, animalistic instinct, the last, desperate sprint of a doomed hare just before the hawk’s talons cinched shut against the back of its neck.

This wasn’t fear. That was too small a word.

It was sheer, absolute terror. 

And in that terror, you managed only a single word. 

“Matt, h—”

You never got a chance to finish. Instead, he was struck by a blinding surge of electricity, white-hot coils of lightning snaking around his throat before locking tight. That shock raced outwards from there, traveling along lines of hidden nerves and thick muscle until his whole body locked up in agony. It was impossible to writhe, to thrash, to fight. All he could do was scream, mindless and furious, your terror matched only by his surge of rage, rage that covered his own wave of terror. Because he knew. He knew, distantly, what this was, and what this meant. 

The collar. 

Just as quickly as it came, the connection was gone, leaving him with nothing but the steady drip of blood from his nose and a ringing in his ears.

He wanted to retch, his stomach roiling, but there was no time. 

It can’t end like this. 

The directional signal he’d gotten from you was worthless. Even when he found where you’d been snatched off the street, they’d left him nothing but droplets of your blood and a fading snatch of cigarette smoke, a poor cover for the faint chemical scent lingering in the alley. Tranquilizers, he’d learn later, meant to knock you out, make you tame enough to be bound, collared, and forced into the back of a van. From there, your scent vanished into the night. 

Caught. Collared. 

Taken.

There was supposed to be more time. 

More time for him in your arms and you in his. 

More quiet touches in the early morning, and laughter in the kitchen, at Fogwell’s, on warm rooftops and cold ones, too. 

Time for him to slip a ring on your finger, and for his name to twine with yours, joyful tears in both your eyes as he pressed his lips to yours on the day you finally became his wife, the keeper of his soul, and he the keeper of yours, for all the rest of your days.

Why hadn’t he asked you?

He should have asked you.

Our rocking chairs should be red, you’d said sleepily last night, when we’re old. 

He should have been faster. 

Stronger. 

Smarter.

“All this, all this that we have here, that you love, is at risk. It always is when I stop. He takes this from me every time, Matt."

He should have protected you. 

He’d promised you he’d keep you safe. 

“No one will take you. I won’t let them, no matter what I have to do to stop them. What happened before—you didn’t have me. I’ll hear him coming from a mile away. We’ll be prepared for him."

“Ciro promised me the same thing. And he was wrong.”

He’d… promised. 

“I promise. I’ll find them before they even get close.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, D.”

And he’d failed.

The Devil’s roar of anguish, of grief, and of absolute agony shook the very bones of the city. 

By that point, you were too far away to hear it. 

It would be seven months before he found you again.

[kassian-ck]

I might do a whole ass series of posts regarding Miguel and Robby just staring at each other an analyzing what might be going on behind those glances. The writers sucked at giving them the depth they deserved, but giving credit where credit is due, they do know sometimes how to show and not tell, and the quiet glances that they give to each other from time to time does that pretty nicely in my opinion. Xolo and Tanner also help bring these messages across so kudos for their acting 🗣🔥

Or I could be completely wrong and they just staring at each other cause oh they're rivals grrrr.

ALSO THANK YOU EVERYONE for the feedback in the last post. I didn't think so many people would read what I wanna say. Yall real ones 😭🫂

So this time, I'm going alllll the way back to season 3 to talk about a scene that goes pretty under the radar when it comes to them and I think is really interesting (excuse the quality):

This one is a bit long ngl

Getting what's very telling out of the way – is insane that Miguel's look here barely resembles any kind of anger or hatred towards Robby. The situation isn't really the best for him to bring up any of that and he knows that, but Miguel isn't exactly the best at hiding his emotions, and to hide any (justifiable) anger he had towards Robby after what happened during the school fight wouldn't have been easy at all for him.

His experience was insanely traumatic. That's not something you can simply forget, nor your mind nor your body. But yk the writers, they don't actually like to explore anything with Miguel in depth–

Finding each other after going through one of, if not the hardest and most traumatic events of their lives at that point must have brought up pretty complex emotions they aren't sure what to do with. When they meet in Miyagi Do earlier in the season, Robby does resort to his anger from how betrayed he feels by the people he thought he could trust completely turn his back on him (in his pov). There might have been resentment towards Miguel, but I feel like that act of throwing a punch at him was more out of impulse caused by a fresh wound and the behavior he had to keep for months in juvie.

In this scene, Robby is angry but I heavily doubt any anger is directed towards Miguel at that moment. Instead, they look at each other blinking slowly as if it was hard to believe that they were in the presence of the other now that the situation had nothing to do with their rivalry.

Especially for Miguel. Not only for what happened between them but for what he thought of Robby once he saw him stepping out of the dojo right behind Kreese.

He didn't look angry. Man, he barely even seemed angry towards Robby regarding his injury compared to how he was with Johnny. Because even if he didn't know much about Robby, he did know one thing about him. Miyagi Do is about honor and balance, and he's seen Robby uphold those teachings with pride since the first time he fought him in their first tournament. Something that he massively lacked and nearly loss complete sight of when Kreese came into the picture.

Even if they weren't in the best terms in season 2, Miguel at least esteemed Robby's honor and balance the more he saw that Cobra Kai's teachings didn't have those principles he himself believed in. Maybe at some point he saw that what Robby did to him wasn't out of revenge or out of pure hatred towards him, it was because he was angry and he let his emotions take control, causing an accident that he knew the Robby he fought against in the tournament would have immediately regretted.

So to see this Robby come out, wearing a Cobra Kai gi and taking the side of the same old man who's philosophy nearly pushed him towards a very dangerous ideology had to feel like being hit by a truck. Because as much as it might be hard for him to admit it due to his ego, Robby was supposed to be better than him. He was supposed to be more honorable and with more integrity than him; to see that the rhetoric Cobra Kai wants to push isn't the right way to do things.

How was somebody like Robby now in the same position he was in? In the position that brought them to where they were in the first place? Miguel can only guess so much with what he knows from Johnny. He doesn't know that he's pretty much homeless or that his mom isn't available for him. He barely knows what he went through in juvie, or how Johnny chose him over his biological son and how that made him feel.

He's completely left in the dark wondering why Robby didn't care anymore. Thus, looking perplexed as he does in the scene.

If this is the case, he might have been the only one of the teens to see Robby past the mistakes that were made and past the choices he took from the very beginning. He wanted to understand what was going on, but who was he to even approach him?

This is why in season 4 I honestly would have loved it if they had fought instead of Eli fighting Miguel. Keep Eli winning, I liked that he won the tournament a lot, but just give Robby and Miguel a fight 🙏 It's not a 1:1 parallel but since they have pretty much flipped sides, it would force them to look at the other in the eye and notice sides of each other that they have not seen in earlier fights, giving them a sense of deja vu yet see what made this different. We could have gotten Robby's reaction to Miguel feeling a sharp pain in his lower back too after attempting that jumping kick. I feel this way the tournament could have had so much more weight emotionally, and it could have added another layer to the relationship that could work well with Robby ultimately turning away from Cobra Kai and deciding to stay in Mexico to search for Miguel with his dad.

[aziraphales-library]

Ello ello ello! Are there any humorous fics you know that involve an exorcism? Preferably lighthearted ones =) perhaps a similar vibe to Shane and Ryan in this one video: https://youtu.be/RzPk6VHPeDY?feature=shared

I hope that made sense!! I don't know how else to describe what I'm looking for T0T

2/2: Hi hi! It's that ryan and shane anon, i think i found a better way to describe what I'm looking for? Just anything involving someone looking for paranormal happenings going on, doesn't have to be an exorcism-- but still something humorous and lighthearted If someone already requested something like this, sorry bout that

Hello. You'll be interested in this post about paranormal investigations of the bookshop, including some buzzfeed unsolved crossovers. Here are some more lighthearted paranormal fics...

Hey There, Demons by IneffableAlien (T)

Married paranormal investigators Azra and Crowley explore an abandoned asylum. It goes about as well as you might expect.

The Wrong Side of the Door by HolyCatsAndRabbits (M)

Crowley had been with this group of ghost-hunters for two years, Aziraphale for three. They’d never had a conversation that didn’t end in an argument. If they weren’t both essential (read: would work this as a side job on the weekends for low pay), Gabriel would have fired one or both of them a long time ago. So now, as Aziraphale conducted his interview, Crowley was sure to scowl at him when he looked up. Because Aziraphale was on camera and couldn’t scowl back. Aziraphale returned his focus to Deirdre with an irritated huff of breath that Crowley did not miss. “What happened that day you stayed home?” he asked her. Deirdre talked with her hands, shaping out her thoughts in a vague, fluttery way. “I started hearing things, like scraping noises. From upstairs.” She pointed, as if they’d need direction, maybe thinking they might not be able to imagine what had happened that day, not in this warm and well-lit room with the open window and the front door in sight.

paranormal activity by dykeula (G)

"Humans were to ghosts what ghosts were to humans: a delightful jest to pass the time if the radio didn’t offer any relief. Sort of like chatting to fellas from oversees. They talked funny, wore fancy hats and were to be enjoyed with caution, and in doses. Problem was when they wouldn't leave Crowley alone." --  Back in the midst of the 19th century, a certain gentleman by the name of Mr. Fell aquires the rights to a particular empty store in London that's been closed for a while - for good reason. But what challenge's a little haunting to an ethereal being, right? It's tickety boo. Crowley, on the other hand, very much objects to his newest roomie. So far his track record for scaring off potential buyers is holding at a steady 100%. But what challenge's a bookish nerd to a omnipresent malevolent spirit, right? It's tickety boo.

Ghostly Ever After by Tiny_Dragongirl (T)

They say it’s all sorted out after you are dead—but sometimes, just sometimes, things need a bit of sorting-out even after you are dead. Aziraphale Fell and Anthony J. Crowley, professional paranormal investigators, might be the perfect candidates for handling problems of the supernatural, after-life kind. Only if they would sort out their own lives while they are alive… A romantic comedy, where ghosts are gathering, tempers are flaring, and love is rising above all.

Pulling Heaven Down by Bluethenstaub, PepperPrints (M)

Anthony J. Crowley is the best paranormal investigator in London. From minor poltergeist problems to full blown exorcisms, he does it all, satisfaction guaranteed. There’s only one catch: it’s all a con. At least, that’s what Crowley thinks. A run in with a strange, ethereal competitor threatens to turn Crowley’s world upside down, and before he knows it he finds himself caught up in affairs that might be way, way above his paygrade.

YES. YES. YES. GOODBYE? by AppleSeeds (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley are independently dragged along to a paranormal investigation event in a haunted castle on Halloween. They're both extremely sceptical about the whole thing, but manage to keep themselves entertained. Self-indulgent Halloween nonsense, 10 chapters taking place between 8.45pm on 31st October and 3.15am on 1st November. Attraction will be instantaneous. Hands will be joined together for a séance. Fingers will brush against each other on the planchette of a Ouija board. A scrying mirror will be used for indiscreet ogling. Crowley will be dressed inappropriately and need warming up. You get the idea.

- Mod D

[farshootergotme]

Oh you and your friend make some interesting points about why Bruce adopting Dick so late in his life was a problem. It’s something writers clearly didn’t take into account when the trying to make this scene work while also not letting go of the not being adopted thing plot line while also trying to have their cake too by having Dick and Bruce makeup and finally having Dick be adopted by Bruce.

I know the writer writing Protugal wanted it to be a touching moment between the two of them. But the problem is it isn’t about what Dick wants and it written in a way where Bruce while has good intention offering him the adoption papers, he doesn’t own up to the fact he caused this issue in the first place if I am remembering correctly although I will have double check and reread that scene so take my statement with a grain of salt. Poor communication is truly the worst emery of them all and cough comic book writers loving to hammer in unnecessary drama and conflict even if makes no bloody sense at times or take into account how it effect the characters going forward. 

The thing about what is a good Batman writer is not necessarily if they nail Bruce Wayne and Batman as a whole but rather if they care about Robin as a concept or even like characters Dick Grayson in general. Same goes to Nightwing writers as well you can absolutely love Dick Grayson but do you actually understand Bruce Wayne as a character and are you willing to explore that aspect of their relationship Ie father/son. (Then again some of Nightwing writers do him so bloody dirty it’s honestly mind boggling to me.)

Another thing to think about is how most modern day writers and even some of older best writers from back in day of Batman is that they refuse to let him be wrong or admit he has messed up. Like my god, I like Bruce as character I really do but it’s so frustrating to see how he is treated in modern books like my god just stop the drama already with his family, I’m tired of Batman being regressed to his younger less mature self mentality and acts like he has learned nothing. Why is it so hard to just let him be a flawed but well meaning dad who yes messes up sometimes but is willing to get better and grow as a person because at the end of the day he truly cares about his children.

My problem with Richard getting adopted as an adult is well mainly with how it was handled. It never about what Dick wants if it was the writers would have made Bruce apologise for his failing as a father to him and make it so it’s up to Richard if he decides to forgive him or not because let’s be honest Bruce hurt his eldest son by his selfish actions but Bruce should also just be honest with him about he has always seen him as a son maybe not at first but it grew into that overtime and that he was wrong for assuming how Dick felt about being adopted and should have done sooner in fact he should have done around the same time as Jason. Again he should have done the minute or at least offered it when he and Dick had a heart to heart in the Marv wolf man run at Donna wedding but I don’t know. You know what amusing about his run is before this story was made he refer to Dick as Bruce adopted child early in his run which is an interesting thing to think about or maybe I misremember and it was a different writer altogether. OvO’)

Or maybe we can just skip all the stupid drama of adopting or no adopting bs and just have Bruce adopt Richard as a young teen which gives Dick enough time to think about it and probably change his mind. It also gives them time to bond as father and son, now I am not asking for Bruce to be a perfect father figure mistakes will happen as he learns what it means to be a father figure to Dick. Like come on give me fun and compassionate Batman please I miss him like geez why are the writers afraid to just let Bruce grow and move on from his past to some extent. 

Another to get off my chest with DC is well isn’t time to just retire the whole ward thing because it not really used anymore and might as well change to Dick being a foster child because that is what he is. Like the 2004 cartoon The Batman made this change to just that. Like I get Ward is historically important to Richard but I don’t know. Another thing I wish for is just to let Dick be adopted earlier at this point because the drama of not being adopted is just hurting both Dick and Bruce as characters at this point. 

When you could instead be focusing on why Dick wanting space and independence from Bruce like how his parenting style can be quite old fashioned the strict yet overprotective father figure and how he shows his love through his actions rather then his words. You could also explore how Bruce being a dad with a mental health issue aka ptsd, being kind of a control freak and suffer from self loathing issues and how he thinks he never be a good enough parent to his adopted soon. Effects Dick development and how Dick felt like over-coddled and suppressed by Bruce being overprotective and at times being super critical of his decisions as a young teen and young adult.

Honestly what frustrating about Tom Tyler run of Nightwing is that the scene with Dick and Bruce in the bat cave is so good but the problem is it is not earned because Tom Tyler hasn’t really taken the time to explore Dick’s and Bruce’s relationship as father and son or having the balls to actually explore the nuances of it and gasp let Dick call Bruce out on where he has hurt him and that Bruce needing to take responsibility for his actions as father. 

This is why I hate when people say they aren’t father and son or god damn family because one it makes it out Bruce actions aren’t as bad because they’re just “coworkers/partners” which just gross to me and also takes away Richard agency and why he repels so heavily against Bruce and why he is so upset about not being adopted you can’t just sit there and tell me they’re not family because it’s simply not true because this effects Richard heavily because in his mind he thought he wasn’t good enough to be Bruce’s son and felt replaced. Literally Eldest feeling replaced by the new baby sibling coded right there.

Another thing, I feel people will have come and accept about superhero comics mostly by Marvel and DC is well they’re kinda like fairy tales in a way, writers giving their own spin and takes on the world and the characters that function within it. They only things that keep them connected is how characters themselves and if they develop and grows carries over or sticks within that part of the lore. I also feel that writers are afraid to take big risks like changing how Dick Grayson became Nightwing even though they’re already one or two versions where it doesn’t lead to him fighting with Bruce and getting fired.

Now I am not saying ignore canon completely but I feel you’re at the mercy of the writers or eras of comic book runs and I think people should pick the writers they like rather try to stitch all these different takes and continuities together. Then again, I guess it doesn’t help that most media has Batman alone and completely disregard the concept of Robin or his found family in general and that honestly such a shame because Robin aka Dick Grayson is the reason Batman comics stayed alive for so alive for so long, hell he was created even before blooming Alfred.

Which leads to final point this whole thing about Dick Grayson not being adopted, has made so that is all is ever talked about. Who Dick Grayson the character like what are his goals who he is like yes he relationship with his father figure is important as it what lead him to this pathway and wether he likes or not he can quite similar to Bruce in terms of his beliefs and parts of his personality but also what about his friends the titans or his journey into adulthood and he finds himself that’s more interesting to me. Modern writers what are you doing with Richard he has so much potential and yet it feels like they have no idea on what they want to do with. No more Tony Zuuco no more changing to his backstory leave it alone please it’s fine how it is there is no reason to make it more complicated and by doing that you take away how the parallel between Bruce and Dick backstories 👏👏👏Hot take I know. 

Also, there is nothing wrong with wanting to write Dick and Bruce patching up their relationship as father and son, I love Bruce being a good dad that is trying to best despite being mentally ill himself. But keep in mind how you go about writing Bruce and make sure he faces consequences for his decisions and actions as a parental figure to  Dick Grayson and his other children. 

Oh wow sorry for making another kinda essay in your ask box again. 😅 (Hmm, I could talk about how Dick parents and his lifestyle at the circus effect his personality and how his flaws were already there before Bruce took him in but that probably for another time ha ha.

Anyway, that is enough of my rambles and inner never ending thought of this complicated father and son duo.

Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I personally can agree with a lot that you're saying.

The problem when it comes to writing Dick and Bruce is that their characters are so old that many of the things from the earliest comics would be very different if one wants to write them in a more modern era. But many writers seem to choose to keep things (despite also changing things that are actually alright and should be left alone, but, oh, well...)

I mean, I don't think the drama of Bruce not being able to adopt is all that bad. For example, in one of the origins, there was woman, Sister Mary, who took care of Dick during his time at the orphanage. She mentions doubting Bruce's capabilities as a father because of his reputation as a womanizer, but that she was convinced she'd be good for Dick after talking with him in private.

They could still use this conflict in modern era and how his image as the playboy billionaire could influence the jury's decision to only give him custody of Dick as his new guardian rather than his adoptive father. Plus (I don't remember if it was in the same origin or not) Dick at the beginning wasn't fully ready to have a 'replacement' for his dad, so Bruce would respect that and accept the responsibility as his guardian.

However, here's where I'd say that they screw up; they let the years pass, no mention of adoption whatsoever (despite both clearly growing to see each other as father and son, respectively) and they just leave it at that until, check this out! Jason is adopted! I would assume now the jury is okay with letting him adopt a child because he's proven himself by taking care of Dick all these years. But, yeah, actually, back to Dick, what about him, then?

I don't believe for a second nobody would bring up the adoption issues. Like, if not Bruce or Dick (maybe because they're both afraid of being rejected by the other if they bring it up) why not Alfred? He's not shy about voicing his thoughts to Bruce, and I'm sure he could convince him to have a chat with Dick about a possible adoption because Dick is only getting older and one day it'll be too late to ask.

(Except not apparently because DC wrote Bruce asking a Dick in his early twenty's if he can adopt him which is definitely not late at all! Not to mention they had the first real conversation about adoption years ago, but Bruce just ignored Dick clears desires to be adopted and only brought it up when he thought it was the right time because why make a father that cares also about his son's emotions, am I right?

It just feels like a cheap compensation for all the years they (specially Dick) waited to become an official family. So what if the bond is more important? Maybe Dick wanted the reassurance that no matter what he would still be Bruce's family without meaning the end of their relationship everytime he left the manor to make a life for himself, is that so wrong?)

And it just makes Bruce look so bad when someone comes up with the excuse that "Dick didn't want to be adopted so Bruce was only respecting his wishes". Well, of fucking course he didn't want to get a new father a few weeks after he saw his dad's bloody corpse laying on the floor of the circus! But years later? When he's already learnt to deal with the grief and has found a new family in these two older men that chose to take care of him? What excuse does Bruce have then to not have ever brought it up again? The only 'excuse' I could think of is that he was insecure that he wouldn't be a good father to Dick (or as good as Jhon Grayson) or, as I mentioned before, afraid of being rejected. But this isn't just about him!! And as the adult in the situation he needs to save those feelings for later and communicate with Dick first without coming to any assumptions. What will change from the current relationship, anyway? Other than the security that Bruce can't just get rid of Dick whenever he wants since he's just his guardian and he can pass the responsibility to anyone else which sounds a lot more like a plus to me than a negative change.

And Bruce himself said "it doesn't really change anything" when he gave Dick the papers, so it really was a non-issue since the beginning.

I get he can have doubts and insecurities, but when it's between putting your feelings first or the ones of the child you're raising, I think the decision should come pretty easily. (Not to Bruce, apparently)

So, yeah, if DC really wanted, they could just change the early years again (we know they can, they've done it enough times already) and make Dick Bruce's officially adopted son during his Robin years and fix the whole issue very easily.

Now, I wanted to address the part about Bruce's parenting and DC not letting him develop and grow as both a character and a father, but I don't want to make this too long and you already said enough about the topic, so I'll leave it at that.

(also, would definitely love to hear about your thoughts on Dick's upbringing at the circus and how his issues began from his early childhood and not everything was for Bruce's influence. I have my own thoughts about that and it'd be great to discuss them with you)

[audioroleplayconfessions]

People will have the balls to excuse rude/bad behaviour because of mental illness/trauma but no one will have the balls to say "mental illness/ trauma makes you an aaahole"

No one except scythe audio

Scythe audios characters such as atrocity and V represent a part of trauma and mental illness that no one is brave enough to explore, the concept that mentally ill/traumatised people are sometimes assholes

I've grown up my entire life around people with mental illnesses, my family my friends my partners and let me tell you something my dad who has depression told me "depression is an ugly disease that spreads from person to person and feeds of and spreads cruelty"

People love to gerrymander excuses for "problamatic" characters they always say things like "oh well their like that because of their trauma" which is true but what they won't say is "this character's mental illness makes them an asshole" because one is seen as "nicer" than the other

I will always have undying respect for the way Scythe writes his characters because it's just so perfect

He writes hurt and broken character to be assholes but he doesn't let them use their experiences as an excuse

Another thing I see A LOT (not just with audio rps but in the genral media) is the consept of "character having mental illness > character finding love interest > characters mental illness is cured!" Scythe dosnt do that and I LOVE IT

Atrocity dose care about little love one could even say that he paternally loves them but he'll never admit that not to himself and certainly not to little love but it's written in a way that conveys to US THE AUDIENCE and I LOVE THAT. Even during the reddening he didn't admit it and that's AMAZING atrocity despite paternally loving little love IS STILL AN ASSWHOLE and little love isn't going to change that

And this goes the same for V. I LOVE what Scythe is doing with Cheeky's character. I honest to god hated her before, but the direction he's taking her is immaculate. I'm not going to repeat myself but the fact that love doesn't cure trauma is shown with v and cheeky's relationship and it's amazing. I also love how Scythe handles questions regarding their current relationship whenever he gets asked, "When are they going to be in a REAL relationship? When can they be boyfriend girlfriend? 🥺😝💕✨️" he handles it perfectly in that he makes it clear that if that where to happen, it wouldn't be the be-all and end all it wouldn't fix anything, and it would barely change anything

I see a lot of scythe hate and honestly I think it's just because he's working with the wrong medium I think if the villan series was an animated series or book I wouldn't even have to type all this but there is a certain expectation that cones with making audio rps and the fact that scythe subverts those expectations is bound to ruffle some feathers but in any case here's my memo as to why I'll always respect and look up to him as a writer In terms of his character writing.

.

[myfairkatiecat]

Thinking about getting into kotlc. What specifically do you like and find recommendable about it?

Keeper of the Lost Cities is my all time favorite book series. It's not the objectively best story I've ever read, but it's my favorite. Here are a few reasons you should ABSOLUTELY read KOTLC:

Fantastic adoption plot. The process of Grady and Edaline adopting Sophie and the complicated way Sophie grows to see them as parental figures, the ups and downs, the way it takes years for her to decide to adress one of them as mom or dad, the way those moments are portrayed as special... it really clicks, especially as someone from a foster family.

The main character is super realistic and well developed. She undergoes a lot of non-linear character development. She has strong beliefs that sometimes conflict with what she's expected to stand for. Her journey from book one to book nine with how she learns to be a leader, stand up for herself, and do what she thinks is right all the time is super well portrayed.

The characters and their relationships are very well developed and complex. Yes, certain things are made very clear through the narration because Shannon is in fact writing for kids, but after books one and two a lot of the kids series feel vanishes almost entirely. I mean, no, it's still charming and silly most of the time, but it doesn't feel as young, especially as the characters grow older and a lot of darker and more complicated issues begin to arise.

The portrayal of the dystopia is fascinating. KOTLC is not in the dystopian genre for a reason. The Lost Cities are not presented as a dystopia at all. That just... comes out slowly. Sophie goes there and is told that everything about the world is perfect, and since everything is sparkling and glittering, it must be, right? She has a few early thoughts about how certain things seem wrong, and those thoughts continue to grow as the problems with the Lost cities become clearer and clearer. Their government and social systems are very messed up, and Sophie only sees the surface of it because she's usually interacting with the nobility, but the reason for both rebellions formed is fixing those exact societal issues.

The good guys and bad guys want a lot of the same things. There's a focus in KOTLC on doing the right thing, not just achieving the right goal. Which sometimes means characters mess that up! (cough keefe sencen cough) But again, all this stuff is explored in a super accessible way, because it's a middle grade series. It feels like reading something deeply interesting with good messages without having to take a lot of time to wrap your head around what those messages are.

The characters are incredibly well-developed. Their backgrounds and history explain most of their personality and actions in amazing ways. I'm thinking specifically of Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Linh, Fitz, and Dex right now, but I'm sure there are more examples (and I hope it gets explored more with Marella in the future, tbh. We know about her childhood--how does that impact her personality?) It makes it very interesting to rotate these elves around in your head.

There are multi-book arcs, many huge reveals are foreshadowed from the beginning. The books open lots and lots of mystery boxes--there are tons of questions being asked ALWAYS--but in the end, they get answered (some more satisfying than others), really portraying just how much can happen even in a short time frame for these kids. Honestly, the whole three-years-over-nine-books thing feels PERFECT to me. Unlike Harry Potter, each book isn't a school year. Unlike Percy Jackson, each book isn't a summer vacation. All of these things happen one after the other, saturating the characters lives, and I think it's very interesting.

The adults have some crazy lore going on. It's pretty fun to try to piece all of that stuff together because Sophie doesn't take a lot of interest in it.

Everything about KOTLC is interesting to me. I'm not going to say there's no issues with it ever (please followers do not come in my ask box and start telling me there are issues with KOTLC idk why it's so controversial to say that Shannon did a really good job with character and plot complexity) but I hugely recommend giving it a read. Let me know if you read it and what you think!

[i-did]

Hi! I wanted to ask you opinion on Thea. I have seen that a lot of people in the fandom kinda hate her but I dont share their reasoning so I was really curious about what you think.

I honestly have very little idea of what the fandom is saying, I stay out the tag mostly and just live in my little bubble. I saw what Nora responded with pre-TSC being upset with the fandom painting Thea as a groomer, which I also disagree with. I feel her and Kevin’s dynamic pre-canon was undoubtedly unhealthy due to the fact that they were in an extreme underground sport cult, and she was older than him but he was also #2, below only Riko and the Master himself, which gives him more agency than just a typical teenager. I don’t believe they are healthy – Kevin didn’t tell her the truth, and they had been a secret so long but also hardly communicate – but I don’t see it as one is the Bad partner one is the Victim partner, just… two people who are together in a super fucked situation.

That being said – I didn’t like Thea in TSC lmaoo. I thought she had a lot of wasted potential as a character. She is in and out, concerned but then gone– I wish she wasn’t someone who was so concerned for Jean, only to immediately disappear. Thea is written to be unaware / in denial which almost makes her parallel with Cass in some ways– clinging to an idea of what happened vs. what actually happened. I’m not saying these make her a badly written character– I think it could actually be really interesting to explore. Sometimes, characters fandom's hate are also interesting.

She was an opportunity to see into another ‘fallen Raven’s’ mindset. How is she coping with Riko’s death? How could she try to ‘help Jean adjust’ which actually makes him fall back into unhealthy Raven habits? Her texting or calling Jean could spiral into panic attacks or remind him of what he's trying to leave behind even if she was just telling him ‘remember the diet plan’ and was unhelpfully trying to be helpful <- these idea's coming from @hopingforcoordinates. It would have been interesting to see her more so we could see that she wasn't just someone ignorant but someone who also was desperately clinging to the illusions of the Nest needing to have been worth it, otherwise what was it all for?

Maybe in the next book we will see more of that but who knows! I hope we do because honestly seeing the Raven’s flounder and fall apart is interesting to me and I'd like to see it as more than just in the background, especially as a narrative foil to Jean's own healing journey.

So I don’t dislike her for moral reasons. She kinda rubs me the wrong way, but I want to hate her more and then sympathize with her and see that she’s also been broken by the Nest – despite having ‘made it’ similarly to Kevin. She ‘has it all’ but is still drowning.

I feel like TSC was written with an audience in mind, unlike the first AFTG books, which has shifted the tone significantly. The first three AFTG books exist in a different realm to me than TSC, tonally and more. I’m curious to see where Nora goes from here and will definitely read the next book too.

[zyafics]

Hiii!!! Do you thinkthat Rafe should have a “redemption arc”? I have a opinion that not all characters need a redemption arc and I don’t think morally gray or “straight up evil “ characters are one dimensional, etc.. I feel like that’s a common trope in media where they take a character who has done many wrong things!! and they try to redeem them, but that being said I do think rafe has many layers to him in my opinion he’s extremely sensitive, erratic, and when his father was alive, he’s so desperate for his dad’s love so much so he can’t even see through the mistreatment. Also, the way Drew plays him u can tell he has moments of empathy, shame etc!! He’s such a complex character soo messed up but so interesting! I also find it hard to believe that the Rafe that we seen throughout the seasons would not spiral even more . Even though this season Rafe is still erratic at times he generally seems more composed and also drug free??? Idk it seems like such a massive shift from littarly telling his dad there’s something very wrong with him , also literally everything that happen in s3 . Also it would have been nice to see how he was as a child, Rose had mentioned that she always knew something was wrong with him . I wonder what went wrong and also how is relationship was with his mom? Do you have any head canons  on that . Sorry for this long rant. Would love to know ur opinion on everything and if you agree?

in my unserious opinion, i don’t want rafe to have a redemption arc because i want him to spiral and crash out. but on a serious note, i can explain why.

the reason why obx transitioned from rafe being an antagonist -> anti-hero is because of fan reception. and i don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing—sometimes it’s good to take in the reaction of your viewers to better steer the direction of your projects, but not at the cost of the character itself.

rafe’s redemption arc—no matter what direction it goes to—won’t be satisfying to me. because he didn’t get the chance to hit rock bottom. rafe was heading in that direction, but s3 felt like a complete shift from s2. let me explain.

rafe started as this character who was relatively background. he was just an agitator, a place of conflict to heighten the kook-pogue dynamics. then, he killed peterkin and it completely shifts the narrative. the thing about killing in shows such as these is that once you write it, u cannot go back. the only way to enhance problems and issues is to go deeper than murder—and that’s where it become very cartoonish and out-of-tune with the realism of obx. regardless, rafe shifts from this minor background character to a pivotal moment in the show—an on-screen death. and now he’s caught in the middle of everything—the treasure hunt, the ward-john b conflict, the pogues and kooks. and so, he’s beginning his first step to antagonism.

this heightens in s2. rafe had his moments of doubts but overall, he went straight into the treasure hunt and aiding his father. he helped ward hid the body, he almost killed kie, he found the cross and stole it from pope and had a whole fight against pope in the middle of the marsh. he was ruthless and relentless. he was becoming this demented version of himself he never saw himself going to—and that’s the most intriguing part of his character. there was so much to explore, especially as you said, a lot of his actions were driven by his need to be validated by his father. all his actions were manipulated by another voice. HOWEVER, by the end of the season. he won. he didn’t have any more doubts about himself. he managed to pull the cross back onto the ship, but he didn’t try to shoot sarah. that moment of hesitation was depicted, but not explored.

and then s3 happened.

this is where they took rafe’s character and completely flipped it imo. i truly believe it’s because of his depiction in s2 and how fans wanted rafe/drew to be more on screen; and the only way the creators could think of doing that is making him a “good guy.” but the problem with this is that, rafe felt like someone who was controlled by another person (s2) to someone who grew into their own (s3). he had this complete shift in mentality (also getting clean, growing more dominant) and we didn’t get to see his internal struggle with it.

nothing in the show has demonstrated for rafe to look back and reflect on his actions. everything he’s ever done felt right in his head, felt like his own ownership. he never hesitated nor regretted his choices. in fact, he enhanced it by taking the cross from the pogues successfully and melting it down. if rafe were to have doubts, he would have to be met with failure, but rafe kept winning. and that’s the problem. he never needed a moment of self-reflection, of second-guessing his choices because why would u when ur choices all lead you to success?

that’s why this shift into s4, which clearly shows the creators attempt to making rafe becoming redeemed, feels disingenuous. because rafe never wanted to change. he had no reason to. so why would he? and in addition, we never got to see the full version of who he could be had he descended down his villainy path. we never get to see the potential of anything. rafe feels flimsy in that aspects, and while we get moments of him tweaking, it feels like fan service rather than genuine responses. because it’s never explored why. 

again it comes back to the streaming problem and lack of filler episodes, but overall, i think the question isn’t that rafe “should” have a redemption arc but rather “could” he have it successfully in the show. and the answer is no. it’s too flimsy, it lacks the proper foundation for him to transition smoothly and naturally from who he was to who he becomes. because regardless of my answer, i think he will. it’s whether the execution can be done properly.

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Hey hun!! I was wondering if we could get more split personality Ghost/Simon Riley's x reader because you absolutely slay at writing that and I think it's an interesting concept to explore. (Don't feel obligated to answer this request or rush to anything this is just a little idea) anyways love ya boo. I hope you have an amazing day sending lots of love your way 💗💗💗

Lєт мє ℓσνє уσυ αηуωαу

Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn! reader

summary: Simon never puts on his mask when he is at home with you. But as you enter your shared apartment, you’re greeted with Ghost instead of Simon.

warning: angst, fluff

-> I‘m sorry this took me so long :/ I‘m back now tho! Took a break for my mental health and I‘m better now :))🫶🏻🫶🏻 <-

I literally love you so much, you have no idea. I‘m gonna attack you with online hugs so beware and DONT REJECT MY HUGS (and kisses xoxo). 💗💖💕💞💞💘💖

I also think the Simon/Ghost concept is interesting. Like Simon could be the CUTEST boyfriend and person in general but as soon as he puts on his mask he is COLD. Like you have never met such a cold person. He probably never wears his mask at home and when he does, he probably feels overwhelmed and feels like he needs protection from Ghost instead of his significant other. Poor baby :( Wish I could hug him ☹️☹️

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

"Siiiii, I‘m home!" you say loudly as you let your bag fall from your shoulder. Finally, another day done. Today was a pretty tough day at work. The clients were all rude and you were constantly stressed. And now, all you need is your Simon to hug you tightly and do nothing.

But instead of Simon greeting you, you were greeted by Ghost. And this can only mean one thing: Simon needs protection from Ghost again. The sight of seeing him with the mask in your shared home broke your heart. It makes you wonder why he needs the protection of Ghost. He has you. In those cases, you’re the one protecting him. It’s you he always goes to when he isn’t feeling well. Not Ghost.

"What happened?" you asked calmly as you make your way towards him. He doesn’t reply which breaks your heart any further. "Love, please talk to me…"

"There is nothing to talk. Go to sleep." he coldly replies, causing you to take a few steps back. But he and you both now you don’t give up that easily.

"Sim-" you get interrupted by Simon, but this time his voice is so harsh and suddenly everything crashes inside you. "Ghost! Ghost is standing in front of you! Not Simon" he snaps.

You don’t know why but you can feel tears building in the corner of your eyes. You’re not emotional usually. But everything build up inside you. Firstly, today you got yelled by your boss because he thought it was you doing something wrong even though it wasn’t you. Then it was just you doing your job and everyones else’s. Then it was the customers being absolute jerk towards to you. And you aren’t doing well either. But still you’re standing and there for everyone else. And you’re also just a human.

You decided to just leave him alone and go take a shower and then cry silently, so he doesn’t hear you and see how much it affected you.

"You know Ghost. If you just open your eyes, you‘d see how beautiful life can be sometimes. And maybe you‘d see how much you’re hurting me." you say and leave him standing alone in the living room.

~

As you sit in the shower you let yourself have 5 minutes to cry.

Life has been very tough lately and you can’t find a way to escape this hellhole. There are so many things you want to see and so many things you want to explore. But sometimes you feel like just giving up. But you know giving up isn’t an option because you know you can’t leave Simon alone. This man would feel guilty and fall into endless pain. But not only him, also you want to reach your goal. You have so many goals for your life and you can’t just give up on them.

As you let the final tears fall down your wet face, you take a deep breath before you step out of the shower and get ready for bed.

Maybe you shouldn’t talk to Simon Ghost today. You know how it will end. It will always end up with him taking a walk outside and you crying in your bed.

As you slide into your sheets and try to not think about anything right now, you hear the door opening and closing immediately after. Not so long after you feel Simon‘s bedside sink and you don’t know if you should turn to look at him.

"I‘m sorry baby" this time Simon says. When ghost talks to you, he always calls you by your name, not your pet name. Not even your nickname.

You don’t respond and just lay there. Soon enough you can feel Simons arms around your body and his touch is sending chills down your spine. His touch is so calming and so magical, you sometimes don’t know how he can do that.

"I scared Ghost off" yup it’s definitely your Simon talking to you right now. "I wanna lay here with my girl and talk about her day" he adds.

And after saying that, you just couldn’t resist. You turned to face him and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Your broken heart starts to heal because whenever your in his arms, you feel like Simon scares off your problems. His arms make you feels safe and protected. He makes you forget about your problems.

His one hand rests at the back of your head and he leaves kisses on your forehead. "You’re home now. Rest baby. We can talk tomorrow,hm?" he suggests with a sweet and caring voice and you just nod.

With that, you fall asleep in your Simons arms. Maybe Ghost let him get out and be with you. But you don’t care right now. You‘ll care tomorrow. Right now, there are no problems and there is just you and him. Nothing and no one else.

Just you and Simon.

[notquitedeadpod]

What do you think about interview with the vampire (both the books and series)?

As briefly mentioned in my audio essay Based Vampirification, I got pretty into the movie when I was a teen, and then read a couple of the books.

I'm going to waffle for a bit about this, so I'll put it under the cut. CW discussions of blood, sex, and rock and roll. No really.

Spoilers for: IwtV, Queen of the Damned

TL;DR: dead blood is stupid; let gay vampires fuck; i want to put Lestat under a microscope

Please note in addition that the following is all just my opinion and should not be taken as anything but such.

There are some interesting limitations on the vampires in that series, and some things I find frustrating about their mechanics. What is, for example, 'dead blood'? This is a nonsensical concept. It does feel vaguely folkloric to me, and I think primarily is there to explain why vampires don't simply drink the blood of the recently deceased. It irritates me. They lean towards being more magical beings and that's okay, but the introduction of such a mechanism as 'dead blood' troubles that and implies-- it just annoys me. We'll be here all week if I go on.

I also find it frustrating that they can't fuck. There's a lot of discomfort about the idea of two men having sex, and the mechanical changes which happen when an Anne Rice vampire turns canonically (in the books) mean he can't get it up in most instances. Whilst I don't think sex between two cis queer men begins and ends with dicks, discomfort about this precise thing is rife, so I find it annoying that these are men who are unable to connect in this way not through choice, and with biting and drinking each others blood - acts of violence and exploitation - serving as a substitution. This stands in sharp contrast to Lestat's escapades with Vampire God Queen Akasha, where he goes out of his way to specifically note that sometimes male vampires CAN get it up.

This is all troubling to me for what it infers about how the text views mlm vs wlm romantic and sexual connections. It should also be made clear that whilst the recent TV adaptation shows Louis and Lestat as explicitly queer in text, in the OG IwtV, this was not overt and space was left for doubt as to the real nature of their relationship. This is partly because of when the novel was written, but it also strikes me as pretty cowardly.

I've enjoyed what I have seen of the recent TV adaptation. I'm interested in how it's exploring the toxic back and forth between Lestat and Louis, and how it makes explicit a lot of things which were left implicit in the book and in prior adaptations. I really like that they've taken the choice to make Louis black, too. Textually this is really fascinating for his character. I think he's extraordinarily well cast as Louis and is now the default Louis I picture in my head. Plus I'm always thrilled when an adaptation takes the initiative to include more people of colour in major roles.

I find Lestat as a character MOST intriguing. He's unpleasant, abusive, and entitled. He goes on to become a rock star and attempts to out vampires to the human world and I'm fucking obsessed with that as a concept, have been for years. He's a horrible little man, and I love that for him. So does he, tbf. He's properly vile. I really enjoy it, not because I think his actions are good but because I enjoy watching him be horribly wrong. It's fun for me.

Anyway there are my fairly comprehensive thoughts on Anne Rice's vampires as far as I know them.

Hope this was illuminating!!

--- Eira xxx

[cloudyyoimiya]

HEAR ME OUT.. SCENARIO ABOUT DAZAI WITH A GN S/O LIKE AUBREY FROM OMORI??

oh my word i love this! i didn’t get too far into omori myself so i had my friend help me out on this! also i couldn’t get all of my thoughts out with just a scenario, so i hope you don’t mind a few headcanons! thank you for your request!

With a S/o Like Aubrey from Omori; Osamu Dazai

Format: Headcanons and Scenario

Possible Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, suicide mentions (Dazai), spoilers for Omori(?)

To start off, Dazai would absolutely love the energy you give off; especially if you’re more on the cheerful side! He loves how energetic you can get over something that peaks your interest!

Sometimes if you freak out over small things, he’ll find it funny. If you ever catch him laughing about this you’ll either calm down immediately or get a little angry. There’s no in between.

If you ever do get angry and lash out, Dazai would be there to try and calm you down. He’d put a hand on your shoulder, or if you’re comfortable with it, he’d hug you and attempt to tell you that everything is all right.

The same thing happens if something goes wrong and you try to distance yourself from your friends or him. He’d be there to comfort you in a heartbeat and he’d make sure that you don’t make any rash decisions. Dazai would also make sure that you aren’t too hard on yourself as well.

If you happen to be clumsy like Aubrey, Dazai will always be there to catch you when you fall. Though, he will find it amusing that you can trip over seemingly nothing. Sometimes he’d catch you and you’d see him smirking.

Sometimes if Dazai gets distracted from a case, you’d have to redirect him. It’s not a simple task, but it’s able to be done.

Here’s some food for thought; imagine if you were in the Port Mafia. You were an executive and you ran a small squad much like the Hooligans that Aubrey leads. Of course your small squad would be more… professional, but still. I’d like to think that this kind of thing drew Dazai in the first place.

Now, I won’t write the mafia scenario today, but maybe I will later if I’m asked to. <3

Scenario…

Today you and your boyfriend were out running errands for the agency. Originally Dazai was asked to do this alone, but knowing him he wouldn’t do it unless you came along. You were slightly mad at him because you already had a lot of work to do. You had to write a few reports, you had to print out some documents… All boring things.

Dazai hooked his arm around yours as he lead you towards the next shop you had to visit. You sighed at the contact. Despite how much you liked going outside to explore, running errands with Dazai was always a bore. He’d always get side tracked and you’d have to redirect him.

“Oh, we’re here,” you said as you two arrived at the store. “Do you wanna wait outside?”

“I could never leave you alone, my love!” Dazai exclaimed, acting as if he was offended by your question. “Plus, if I did you’d somehow run into trouble!”

Your eye slightly twitched at the thought. “Yeah, alright fine. C’mon.”

You practically dragged Dazai into the store. You then walked down the aisles, looking for a specific sweet that Ranpo wanted. Apparently this candy was getting rare since the company was going out of business.

You eventually grabbed everything that you needed to. Dazai had been talking your ear off about anything and everything, trying to make you engage in a conversation while you were concentrating. You did give him short and sweet answers, yes, but you also wanted to bash his head with the baseball bat that you always carried around with you.

“—And then Kunikida was all like, ‘Oh no Dazai! You can’t try to kill yourself on the job!’ with such a mad expression! He then hit me with his book of ideals on top of my beautiful head! I just can’t believe him!” Dazai ranted on. “I truly think that he hates me!”

You had arrived at the cash register, groceries in hand. “No, really? What makes you say that?”

You started to pay for the groceries, giving the cashier your credit card. The transaction went through and the two of you left the store quickly.

“Kunikida is always foiling my suicide attempts! It’s really starting to get on my nerves!”

You silently chuckled at his antics. “Maybe he just cares for you, Osamu.”

Dazai sighed. “If he cared he’d let me—“

You playfully smacked the back of his head.

“We need to head back soon.”

“Ow! That hurt!” Dazai whined.

The walk back contained Dazai blabbering on and on about rather mundane topics. You of course blabbered back once he reached a topic you liked. 

You walked up the stairs to the agency, almost tripping on a few of the steps. Dazai caught you one time at the top of the stairway. Embarrassed, you slightly yelled at him. He only smiled and led you back to your desk.

“You really need to work on your balance, you know. I won’t be able to catch you each time.”

“Oh would you shut up?!”

Requests are open!

[hauntedjohnny]

your ‘piece of meat’ johnny fic was sooooo good!! i really enjoyed reading it. its interesting reading about johnny in an established relationship instead of a victim one. i wonder what it would be like if the situation was reversed. johnny obviously gets possessive when he’s jealous but it feel like in this story his s/o is less unsure of herself. he can definitely be charming when he wants to be and can put up a good talk. undoubtedly how he got his s/o now. even if johnny wasn’t cheating, id imagine she’d probably feel more insecure. wondering if her time was finally up and he was about to moved on.

thank you sm <3 i enjoy a johnny/victim dynamic as much as the next guy but think there is an untapped market for more confident/sure readers. around the time i wrote it i think a couple of us were brainstorming ways he would get into a relationship and i always liked the idea of reader living in muerto county/being a neighbour to the family and the relationship being an arranged marriage of sorts (for money). it ties into my hc that everyone in the area has demons and the good either leave or die. i imagine a reader coming from a family with similar morals/ideals as the slaughters. maybe not as extreme but someone who is at least willing to turn a blind eye, after all theyve heard all the screams echo through the texan fields and havent done anything yet. in more extreme cases i think it would be fun to explore a reader who participates in killing alongside johnny and have them actually enjoy it.

i think the sureness comes from the arranged marriage side (and also the crazy) because they know they cant leave eachother but also refuse to accept that theres any genuine connection between them. so its a possessive push and pull game where they try to get the other to snap and admit they need the other. whether its actually love or not is to be determined but at the baseline i think they use eachother because they give eachother something no one else can. johnny is given some semblance of a way out from nancy and for reader is depends on whatever backstory you'd want so something similar to johnny or the opposite where its the only guaranteed protection/attention she has in her life or something as simple as he allows her to indulge in her violent urges in a fun exciting way.

and as for johnny flirting with others, i think she'd be a boiling point of jealousy stemming from insecurity. but unlike johnny, who takes it out on her, she would take it out on others. the first few times she witnesses it she just scoffs and brushes it off (because she doesnt actually think she needs/wants him or whatever) but her eyes dont leave his form the entire night. as it happens more and more her jaw starts to clench and fists ball at the sight. she gets short and snippy with him after, not even allowing him to touch her. its as if the spirit of the other woman is still on him. she would say nothings wrong but he can see right through her and he loves it. a smarmy grin telling her she aint got nothing to worry about. its only when he goes hunting for victims that she starts seeing red. it different when he flirts with intention to kill. its personal. its intimate. his hands inside another woman that he's been buying drinks for. i think it would be enough to make her snap. johnny doesnt even get the kill that night, she beats him to it. he's pissed at her for taking away his rush but theres also an awe to his glare, as if hes finally seen the real her. he tries to keep her at home when hunting from then on but allows her to sit in the cold room as he dismembers the body, degrading the body while simulatenously praising hers by comparison. if she continues with the attitude then im sure he would be happy to put her in her place. sometimes there's a fear that he will kill her like the girls he flirts with but she knows deep down he needs her. she sees the way he rolls his eyes behind nancys back. the constant excuses for a late night drive. even if he doesnt like her, he has to keep her for she's his only chance to escape nancy's grip without leaving nancy completely.

[castlebyersafterdark]

i find the will liking pain in the bedroom headcanon very interesting because arguably, the show and vecna himself, being a metaphor for depression/mental bad health and insecurities and giving in to self-loathing etc, IS the cathartic experience that will (or anyone) goes through before finding self-compassion - sort of like max's journey in s4. I don't expect her to want to revisit pain and humiliation in the bedroom with lucas in the future, because often that's a sign that things are still needing to be worked through in the self and soul and mind. i think the point of the show is that will's tribulations ARE his catharsis and suffering, the result of the original traumatic event (possibly abuse from his father or from the lab), and so therefore ideally at the show's conclusion will has completely gotten all of that exploration out of his system and will have no need/desire for pain or humiliation ever again - he would never want or need to explore his past in that way because it would not help him.

perhaps some people don't view the show's metaphor in this fashion and instead see his current tribulations (aka the actual events of the show) as THE original abuse event, and so they think he might want to explore that trauma after the show is wrapped up. but this also implies will's story will be unfinished when the show wraps up and is still left with unresolved trauma that he might want to explore/fix through sexual kink. perhaps they'll return to these characters in the future and we'll see that. but for now i think these are much more likely to be personal preferences of the fans that they then imagine with will. i will be curious to see if the documentary the duffers are making (or the show itself!) will address the true meaning of the horror metaphor.

Well, I guess my take is twofold: that not all kinks explored in the bedroom and those types of sexual interests have to have a 1:1 correlation to trauma and working through an emotional life experience. But also, why would everything he's experienced and the emotions from that just disappear because the big bad villain is defeated and life is now normal? That also is unrealistic? And it's still all happening. And he's a teenager. A lot of what you experience is unresolved for many years, it doesn't just go away. I think he'd revisit many things as an adult, even if nothing "bad" happens again it's still all a major part of his life and that wouldn't disappear. He could be in a good place emotionally and still have parts of him that aren't so. It doesn't mean his story is unfinished - we're all unfinished. I know it's a television show, but as obsessive fans we imagine the totality of the characters beyond what's on screen, otherwise, why are we here? It's not just what we see on screen, but the aftermath, the internal. There's nothing wrong with ending a story on the screen a certain way and portraying realism. Happily ever after, all neat and tidy and naive isn't really interesting to imagine in my opinion. It's a disservice to say that these characters aren't going to deal with these things experienced during the five years we're watching during this story arc for the remainder of their lives. They all will. Which can manifest in different ways.

Emotional catharsis through sex can sometimes be working through something else but it can also be simply because someone wants to feel a certain way. Pain play and kinkier sex acts doesn't have to be strictly for reliving very specific trauma - it can but it can also just be a way to tap into extreme emotion and then the aftercare that comes with it. Being taken care of, allowing yourself to let go, allowing yourself a a headspace to explore an out of body emotional experience while hyper aware of your body. Pain and pleasure are similar extremes, the overlap is appealing to people in a sexual setting because of that. I think a character who has been through forced emotional distress and very extreme situations may actively enjoy a controlled setting with some extreme emotion or sensation. That's all, in the simplest, least deep explanation of it. It's a topic I could go on and on about but I'll leave it there!!

[crystalcanis]

Teaser for 2024!! Chapter 1 might have ended but the horrors continue.

Where to read my comic! LINK (coming to tumblr sometime this year hopefully)

I'm going to put some personal thoughts regarding chapter 1 below, it's there if you want context on how I see this story, but it can be ignored if you don't want to read a wall of text! I hope the teaser looks nice and spikes interest! I think this next chapter is going to be a fun one.

Arc 1 Chapter 1 was written when I was still in highschool, I have graduated college by now :' ) So needless to say, I am very excited to be jumping into the second arc of this story and be done and over with the stuff my teenage self wrote. 

I scripted Arc 2 Chapter 2 relatively recently (almost done scripting Arc 2 Chapter 3 too), so it has my current writing style and pacing! I'm really proud of it personally, I think its fun but I guess there is that underlying fear of people maybe not liking my current approach to the characters. Specially because I know this comic seems to be the favorite amongst my current two because of how long it's been around! Even if I made little edits on the way, Chapter 1 was basically the same script my teenage self wrote... I had to follow the planned pacing and events, and oh gosh there are so many scenes I would write differently (all the ones before we meet Noriel, basically.)

My biggest personal complain with chapter 1 is that I don't think I was clear enough with the theme of the story nor did I give it much justice : ( and that in part goes with my younger self just, not having enough experience writing heavier topics at the time. This story is based on my personal experiences with xenophobia, it's about xenophobia, back when I scripted chapter 1 I knew how it FELT like, but now as an adult I have been able to go deeper and analize why I feel that way, why people treat me the way they do, and much more that I plan to properly explore going forward. This doesn't mean that other people connecting with this story through other forms of bigotry like racism, transphobia, homophobia etc is wrong, though! I have seen your explanations for why and it's sooo so fair, I don't mind this story reasonating with how general bigotry feels like at all, intersectionality is a thing for a reason. But I wish to explore xenophobia as it was intended :]! It's personal to me. And the world of Ales is so HUGE! Chapter 1 did not give the worldbuilding justice either! There is so much to explore and I'm excited! I can't believe my younger self wanted to end the story here, man. Insane.

The only thing that's closest to my current writing style in chapter 1 is actually the flashback with Noriel and Kana we saw this year! That wasn't part of the original script, and I added it in preemptively, knowing I would need it for context in the new chapters but that I wouldnt have space for it later, it needed to happen Now or never. So I guess that's a good reference for what to expect! But fear not, just because chapter 2 and onward is technically an updated approach to things, that doesn't mean what happened in chapter 1 wont affect anything! Quite the contrary oh boy! What happened in chapter 1 is a big catalyst for so many things that happen in this story, and why Noriel and Kana act the way they do. I think it's going to be great and I can't wait to share it, I just hope other people like it as much as I do!

[cleromancy]

What is your opinion on KonTim? I noticed you posting a lot of Kontim lately and I was wondering if you are beginning to like it? Also, since I know you stated you didn't like Kon in the past, are you beginning to change your mind about him?

to be honest my opinions from 12-13 years ago when i was a very angry very opinionated teenager often dont reflect my current opinions. i just want to establish that now.

but for the record my dislike of kon was more of a reflex to the way fandom at the time made him this very flat "aw shucks" kind of cardboard cutout. i only started disliking him when i tried reading more of his comics where he tended to be y'know. more nuanced, he'd be a jerk sometimes, inconsiderate and thoughtless, etc, and then turning around and going on tumblr where the way people talked about him didnt reflect that at all, that was really offputting for me. because i do--and did--love characters who are assholes, but not if thats not... like... acknowledged. and fandom was *aggressively* not acknowledging it, from my perspective. anyway i think when i get around to rereading yj98 ill like him more this time. particularly because i *am* so much older now and will be reading from more of a place of "yeah of course hes a shithead sometimes, hes 16 years old (for a given value of 16 years old)."

as for timkon i wouldn't say i "ship" it. and i would also like to contest the assertion that ive been posting "a lot" of it lately LMAO i think ive posted it like two times in as many weeks, and then maybe 2 more times i rbed smth where they were in the same nonshippy frame or textpost?

but back to the ship itself. to begin with they *are* very good friends whose relationship is important to them both, that changed them both, and that has an impact on characterization. and i dont... think you can read a lot of those old tim comics, if you read him as queer at all, without acknowledging that there was at at least one point something btwn them.

but as far as shipping it goes. first of all i still think most of fandom does it wrong. (if im being serious, theres no "wrong" way to do fandom, but that's also the most succinct way i can put it that i don't vibe with the majority of the stuff thats out there.) second of all i don't... like i dont *want* them to get together, exactly, unless a given writer is doing a really good job at the yarn theyre spinning convincing me otherwise, within the boundaries of that story.

but there *is* something btwn them, romantically speaking, and it has a lot of interesting character/relationship potential to explore for both of them. i am at the moment almost entirely uninterested in exploring it from kons side, which is another reason i dont really ship it, but that might change when i get around to rereading yj98. but i really don't think you can get a full picture of new earth tim drake as a character without admitting he at least had a thing for kon when kon was dead, any other point in time being much more up for interpretation.

so basically! 1. its interesting when its allowed to be interesting and not flattened into featureless fluff 2. i dont ship it AS SUCH but it absolutely was a thing that happened even if they never date or dated, and 3. as for kon himself i think ill be a lot more forgiving now both bc i Am older and bc no one in my fannish circle these days is annoying about him where i see it LMAO

[cosmicjoke]

alright, well first of all I'd like to say that your characterization of levi in "This Life, After" is one of the best I've read in fanfiction! you've perfectly captured the dichotomy of his unconditional love towards others and his lack of regard towards himself. it's utterly heartbreaking, but I think that's honestly my favorite part about his character, and I rarely get to read fics that portray this well.

that being said, I sometimes do feel as though the fic keeps on hitting the same constant beat, where levi goes through a physically tormenting situation, ends up at the hospital, onyan and the kids worry, levi gets out of the hospital, and rinse and repeat. don't get me wrong, I love me some good angst, but I do think there can be other ways to get him to suffer. an idea may be to get him to suffer by proxy? maybe he suffers as a result of his loved ones suffering (a loved one (onyan maybe) gets hurt, and he blames himself, spirals, etc.) I just think there's so many scenarios that can be explored, and I do think analyzing how levi would react to these different plotlines would be quite interesting.

anywho, enough yapping from me. thank you so much for writing this fanfiction!

Thank you for the kind words, truly. That means a lot to me.

I'll admit, I'm a sucker for angst, and I often get caught up in that aspect of my writing. So I think you have a legitimate point that I tend to sort of get stuck in traction with the ebb and flow of Levi's struggle in my story.

That said, I also feel like it's sort of justified, because the story is largely dealing with Levi suffering from multiple mental illnesses, and mental illness is, by nature, cyclical and repetitive. Levi in my story is suffering from pretty severe depression, anxiety, PTSD and a whole host of other mental issues, on top of his physical disabilities, and he's not really going to just magically get better or recover from that. Each of his issues is basically compounding the other and making it worse, and he has a lot of unresolved trauma and other problems that are, after a lifetime of having to ignore them in order to survive and keep others alive, beginning to really crash down on him and manifest in awful ways.

So yeah, he ends up in the hospital a lot in my story, and it's a recurring problem. You may be disappointed to know it's going to happen again relatively soon, but it's vital to Levi's overall recovery and addressing some of the issues he has correctly, so I can't really change that.

A lot of it also comes from Levi's selflessness and how that selflessness, while in canon always extremely commendable and admirable, in the setting of my story, given Levi's condition, ends up causing himself and others actual harm. He ends up causing the people who love him a lot of grief and suffering by NOT caring for himself, basically, unintentional as it is. So I feel like the other characters do suffer, and Levi is learning that sometimes it's okay to be selfish and that it can actually be better for the people around him to be so once in a while. It's basically meant as a journey for Levi learning to care more about himself, and the focus of the story is Levi and his trauma and learning to live with it in a world where, instead of being forced to push it down and ignore it, he's instead forced to confront and deal with it. Essentially, it's about watching Levi heal, and all the awful pangs of that process.

That's how I justify it to myself, anyway, lol.

Also, at this point where I'm at in the story now, Levi is really at his lowest, mentally and physically, and I feel like suddenly shifting focus to another character and their personal problems would distract from Levi and what he's going through. Other characters ARE suffering. Onyankopon is dealing with a lot of feelings of guilt and isolation, being Levi's main caretaker and having to navigate a lot of issues with Levi that he's never had to before. There's a lot of pressure on Onyankopon, and that's going to come out and cause issues in some upcoming chapters. Things aren't going to remain so easy for him and Levi, or so smooth in terms of their relationship. Levi's too sick right now in the story to really be expected to deal with or be aware of the way Onyankopon, or any of the kids, are struggling, and Onyankopon is also purposefully hiding his own struggles from Levi, because he knows it wouldn't be fair to him to put that pressure on him when Levi is barely keeping his head above water as is. But for sure, I could use more sections really showing that struggle and the impact Levi's issues are having on everyone else, too.

There's also a section of the story that I'm working on right now in which one of the other characters ends up struggling with a lot of guilt and fear over something, and ends up getting hurt as a result, and we see how that really negatively impacts Levi and causes some big issues for him. That section isn't going to come up for a while, though.

It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine. Like I said, I do have a tendency to get caught up in the drama of it all. But I'll definitely try getting some other scenarios in there with the other characters going through their own issues and seeing how that impacts Levi.