#because I do know I've gotten anons from people i've interacted with off anon. they have told me

[bookwyrminspiration]

I just realized that I did not put my signature on the last message, so the one about the 24 hour theatre project was from me, ⚙️. My apologies I accidentally hit the button

No worries! You're not the first person to do so and you won't be the last, it's not a problem. I could surmise based on context clues, though I'm never 100% certain. It's all sorted and properly tagged now :)

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[genderqueerdykes]

Wow. Talk about having a shit experience. Why is people explicitly keep saying not to tag their aro or ace post as aroace.

Why why why am I not valid anymore? Can I really not be aro and ace anymore? Can I not open the tag and say "ahh aroace me is so related with this post" anymore? What is it??

It feels fucking shitty seeing community that barely get mention in big queer space like this. Gatekeeping their post and experience to the "right" identity only.

If you someone that do this please stop. I just want to see positive post about my aroace identity. Heck anything about Loveless Aplatonic Afamilial barely get talk about and they don't gatekeep their post from aroaces because what's the point?

this is a great ask, i really appreciate you taking the time to stop by & share your experience, anon. this is something i've noticed within the past few years and i've wanted to talk about it, so thank you for giving me a chance to do so

i've seen 2 excuses for this behavior and they're both terrible and only hurt other people and serve as a method to control strangers.

the first way people try to excuse this behavior is by saying "well I'M not aroace, therefore the post isn't for aroaces!!!!! it's ONLY for JUST aromantics or JUST asexuals not both!!!!!" i have gotten yelled at this before as well. like, profusely. over tags. i feel like people should NOT take a stranger's tags personally. even if they tagged it something you don't agree with or don't like... that's kinda not really your business. this particular behavior stems from people who neurotically check their reblogs/interactions, and it's not healthy.

if you find yourself scrutinizing every single interaction and reblog you get on this website, it might be a good idea to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media, because you quite literally cannot control what people do with a post once you post it. you're at the mercy of god at that point. like i cannot stress this enough: You CANNOT control what strangers do with a post once it's published. these are PUBLIC FORUMS. tumblr is not a private club where only the people you like interact with you. it's a public space. you gotta learn to cope with the fact that other people will interact with your posts in ways you don't like. i don't like it when rad fems interact with my posts, but i also can't stop them from doing so unless i already have them blocked, because they also have free will and a tumblr account.

the second excuse for this behavior i have seen is definitely the worse of the two. people will say that "aroaces get TOO much representation!" or things like "everyone ASSUMES you have to be aro if you're ace/ace if you're aro which isn't true and i take very personally which gives me an excuse to bully aroaces!!!!!!!!" like it legit comes from people thinking that somehow, aroaces are "over represented". the behavior stems from the OP feeling literally attacked by aroaces existing and feeling like they're somehow talking over aromantic people who experience sexual attraction, or like they're somehow talking over asexual people who experience romantic attraction.

people seem to have forgotten that aroace people are STILL ARO. THEY'RE STILL ACE. you can't sit here and go "well i'm mad that 'too many' people know about aroace people so i'm going to harrass aroace people like they're the ones making my life harder and not cisheternormative society." also it's disgusting because a lot of asexuals quite literally believe that aromanticism doesn't exist, and that the term came about to "rip off" asexuals. it's the "transandrophobia doesn't exist because it threatens trans women" argument but with aspectrum identities.

it legitimately causes you NO HARM if your post about just asexuality or just aromancitism is tagged as aroace. they are not saying YOU are aroace! they're tagging it that way for themselves, because they are aroace!!!!!!!!!!!! aroace people are aromantic! aroace people are asexual! stop with this weird gatekeeping and acting like posts tagged just aromantic or just asexual are for people who are ONLY aro or ONLY ace. this shit is hurting people. like i cannot get over the fact that aroace people are. aro. and. ace. and somehow people freak the ever loving fuck out about a mean nasty aroace making them feel bad for.... also being aromantic and asexual ?

like your experience matters. you don't deserve to be told that you can't interact with posts about aromanticism or asexuality because you're both of those things and somehow that's threatening aromantics and asexuals who aren't both. you are still aromantic. you are still asexual. you aren't hurting or threatening anyone. you deserve to be seen and heard, and you shouldn't have to specifically stick to JUST the "aroace" tag and nothing else. i DON'T understand this behavior.

honestly a lot of it smacks of arophobia on the behalf of asexuals and acephobia on the behalf of aromantics. it blows. it's not cool or cute or funny it's hurting people.

this attitude sucks. as the anon said, please stop this. it's unnecessary and petty infighting for no reason. aroace people are not a threat to other aromantic and asexual people. stop treating other people like shit for no reason other than you are insecure and angry about it. nobody is saying YOU are aroace if they tag your post about aromanticism or asexuality with "aroace". they're doing it for themselves. knock it off.

[buckys-little-belle]

Hi! This is my first time requesting so I’m really nervous and I’m sorry if my request sucks! I was just wondering if you could do another plus sized little reader but this time with Bucky? And she’s really embarrassed about being at the park because she gets hurt and so does peter but he gets picked up and she’s worried she can’t be picked up and snuggled because she’s too big and she’s just sad but then Bucky comes in and picks her up and reassures her that she’s still little and that he’s strong and that he still thinks she’s a little? Maybe she’s pretending to not be a little because she’s big again like you did in the last story but Bucky knows better and gives her a sweet band aid? Sorry this is so long you don’t have to do it! Have a good day!!!!!!!!

It's okay, Baby.

Warnings - Talks of swing accident, talks of scrapes, band aids are used, as well as ointment, there's a talk of snacks at the end, and both Bucky and Y/n have a habit of sneaking around each others apartments.

Notes - It's been so long again since I've written something, but I hope you love this anon! Thank you for the request, and I promise you did a great job requesting!

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

The park at the compound was huge, it had tons of slides, climbing areas, and more. It was the coolest place Y/n had ever seen. As her friends played some imagination game, running around across the wooden plank bridge and sliding down the fireman's pole, she sat on the bench with the bunch of caregivers.

Y/n hadn't identified as either little or caregiver when she showed up to the compound a year ago. She had gotten rude comments and mean looks in the past when she told people she was a little. And she wasn't ready to see what those she lived with might have to say.

Everyone on the playground was small, pickupable, even if they were tall, and it made her feel like she didn't belong by the side of her smaller friends in a smaller headspace. "Y/n!" Peter yelled, hanging off of the rope swing waving her over. "Push me!" He giggled, swinging his legs as he tried to get some air.

Y/n smiled as she walked over, pushing down the bit of her that wanted to be pushed on a swing too. "How high?" She asked, giving peter a few pushes, only ever getting "Higher" as a response.

"Wait!" Y/n could hear someone say from the playground, she turned to check it out but before she could see who had yelled Peter and the tire swing swung back and knocked her on her feet.

Both her and peter were laid on the mulch, scrapes from the wood gracing their hands, tears trailing down both their cheeks. "I'm so sorry!" Peter cried, missing one shoe.

"It's my fault, I wasn't looking." Y/n tried to smile, tried to not slip into her little headspace as she often did when hurt. "I didn' mean to!" She sobbed, her pain bearable but her worry for peter making her chest squeeze.

Tony and MJ walked over to peter, Tony picking him up and MJ checking his ankle to make sure it wasn't hurt.

Y/n stayed seated, tears still dripping down her cheeks as she tried to will herself to stand up and walk away, but the aching in her chest as she watched Peter be worried over made her feel worse. "It's okay, Baby." Bucky said quietly, approaching her like she was an animal ready to run at the first sign of danger. "You got a couple of owies, huh?" Bucky squatted down, now level with Y/n.

"'M fine Buck." She tried her hardest to sound big, to sound put together.

"You're bleeding, Baby." Bucky helped her stand, brushing the mulch off of her before he looked over her hands. "Let's go get these cleaned up, hm?" He asked, waiting for Y/n to agree.

Y/n wasn't sure what was happening, or why Bucky was acting so sweet and kind to her. And she couldn't get his use of 'Owie' out of her head. But she felt hazy, not sure if she could stay big too much longer, her hands stinging more and more as the minutes passed.

The moment she nodded her head in agreement Bucky picked her up, one arm acting as a seat for her, Y/n's arms quickly wrapping around his neck. "Bucky!" She squealed as he walked them towards the compound. "'m too heavy, put me down!"

"I feel offended, Baby." Bucky chuckled, not out of breath or even slightly winded as he held her close. "I'm a super soldier, I can carry you no problem."

Y/n tried her best to think of a comeback, think of something to say to make him understand that her being picked up wasn't right. Yet the warmth his arms and body gave her, and the few forehead kisses he planted on her forehead as he walked made her disputes die the moment she thought of them.

"Okay." Bucky whispered, walking into his room then his bathroom, turning on the light before setting Y/n on the counter. "Let's get these hands patched up, okay?" Y/n nodded her head absentmindedly.

"T'anks." She said in a quiet voice, hands held out as Bucky cleaned her scrapes. "'m sorry for falling."

"Look at me, Baby." Bucky said, his hand resting under her chin. "You didn't do anything wrong, you just looked away for a second, it's okay, sometimes little's get distracted." He said calmly, quickly getting back to dabbing ointment on her hands.

"'m not a little!" Y/n said defensively.

"Y/n." Bucky looked her in the eyes. "Do you want a regular band aid? Or a princess one?" His words were said with a serious tone, and the look in his eyes made Y/n think he would definitely know if she lied.

"Princess Band aid." She pouted, hating that he saw through her. "Bu' maybe I jus' like princesses." She shrugged her shoulders.

"I know you like princesses, you have Princess blankets, and princess barbies, you also have a princess stuffie that you hide behind your bookshelf." Bucky said nonchalantly.

"How do you know all of 'dat?" She shook her head, looking at Bucky confused.

"I snoop when you go to the bathroom when we have movie nights in your room." He shrugged.

"Dat's creeping, Buck." Y/n giggled.

"Where do I hide my favorite gum?"

"The top shelf of the cupboard beside your fridge!" She cheered.

"Yes you creep, you know that because you sneak around when we have movie night here." He tickled her sides, making her giggle and forget all about her scraped hands.

"Okay, we can be creep buddies den." She held out her pinky.

"Creep buddies." He smiles, linking his pinky with hers, helping her off the counter, promising to turn on her favorite Princess movie if she had a snack. With the way Y/n giggled and smiled and seemed to come out of her shell, Bucky knew that he and Little Y/n would get along just fine.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

First off, as the year comes to a close, I want to say a few words of thanks. You see, I came back to fanom this year, not knowing my place or if I could find a place for me again.

Instead, one thing lead to another and I found a new fandom. One that, for all of it's toxic reputation- one very well earned thanks to a vocal subset within the fandom- has been ever so welcoming to me.

It has been that welcoming nature that has driven me to write over half a million words in the last twelve months. It is the eager interaction with artists and writers that the Hazbin Hotel fandom carries at its very core that makes it so much more than the negative reputation it has amassed.

It is the passion and drive of the fandom that has encouraged and rewarded me to write things I'm uncomfortable with, to write things I don't personally like or understand. It has driven me to challenge myself and broaden my writing horizons.

With that, I will be taking a short break. Just a few days where I'll be prioritizing myself, rotting on the couch, watching tv and resting. While I have enjoyed the countless challenges that Kinktomber and Smutmas provided me with but the reality is writing what amounts to a fic every other day while running a long series and having people waiting on another long series- it isn't sustainable.

So I'm going to take a few days, rest and I will be back with healthier writing habits. Just in time to drop the New Year's Kisses

While I have nothing but love for the Hazbin Hotel Fandom, there is something I would like to address. Below is a fraction of the asks I have gotten this last week. I get these types of messages a few times or so a week, nearly every week.

Why am I showing you this?

You see, I've said often for the last year that I get hate. It's a terrible side of the Hazbin community and while I suspect I know who sent at least one of these messages, and others that I have not shared. Some of it is, I believe, targeted harassment from people I once counted as friends or in the case of others, was on a friendly basis with.

That being said, in sharing these, I am breaking my own rule. You see, as a personal rule, I do not respond directly to anon hate. I do not discuss it in detail, I rarely even share it in screenshots with my friends.

There's a reason why I have this rule. You see, in sharing of anon hate, you give it life. You fan the flames. Your friends and your readers are called to defend you. It creates a storm of attention for the senders who observe from the sidelines.

The reality is- we as a fandom decide what is acceptable within it. We do not have to accept this toxic behavior. We do not have to share it. We do not have to give it life.

An abuser thrives off the power they have over you. They thrive off your reactions. They thrive of your pain. They thrive off knowing they can control the fandom, who is posting in it and what.

Personally- I do not give them that power in my space. Honestly, I recommend you don't either.

Their words mean nothing. Their hate? Worthless. At the end of the day, they're trying to crush you because they see something in you that they wish they had.

I see writers and artists leaving this fandom left and right in response to hate so here I am, airing my own dirty laundry to show that these disgusting little mites within the fandom- they're coming after more than just you. They're coming after more than just the ones sharing the hate.

If you're getting messages like these, reach out to your friends and fellow creators within your network. Lean on each other. You don't have to give it air and you also don't have to suffer in silence.

I am blessed to not have to suffer in silence. I've got @redvexillum and @nyx-umbrakinesis and many others who stand beside me, who stop me from feeling like I'm drowning in hate and burning this whole thing down. Because of their support, I don't need to respond to the hate directly.

But for you- my fellow writers and artists, I'm sharing it this one time as a reminder that you are not alone.

So may your new year's resolution be to stay, to continue creating and to continue being something they are jealous of.

May you shine bright in this upcoming year, Mama Kit

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[muniimyg]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (16) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ debrief ! + kimi's note

hi !

i've gotten a few asks in my inbox regarding part 16 that (i feel) lean towards negativity @ babydaddy!oc.

as much as i appreciate interactions,, it surprised me with how it (my work) was received. i understand that everyone has their own opinions, but some of the asks come off more as a vent/hateful pov,,

and listen,,, i get that this is a fanfic LOL

but the reason i'm making this a post is that, truthfully, i don't want to (individually) answer these asks. i've spent the past few days reflecting on the feedback i was given and the chapter itself... i've concluded that i’m all abt conversation (!!!) but don’t think these asks lead the ones i want to have on my blog. i also don't want to share them because i feel that these opinions undermine the experience of other readers who enjoyed and resonate with the chapter.

at the same time, i also don’t want them to go unaddressed because these are real ppl who spent time and sent thoughts in. one way or another, i believe my work resonated with u and the most i could ever really ask for as a writer is to write something that makes people feel.

so to those anons that sent in these asks, i want u to know i that i’ve let your thoughts sit with me and i think you made good points. in that same sense, i want to defend my work and explain a few things..

context:

full bbydaddy timeline (as of 16)

bbydaddy was originally meant to be a one time scenario

upon request, i extended the series multiple times

since the series extended,, in terms of plot,, i took as an opportunity to dig deeper into their dynamic (as a family, as lovers, and as individuals)

one: bbydaddy!jk and bbydaddy!oc's lore

first and foremost,,, there are no sides.

there are layers to their relationship. both characters go through and process differently. oc's experiences should not be invalidated just because her emotions are voiced 'wrong.' the career and the depth of it can and should be looked from different point of views. though i didn't write it in, i personally pictured oc to be the eldest daughter in her household. the constant need to be the best is a natural feeling for her and isn't necessarily seen as a flaw through jk's eyes. if anything, she believes in him more than he believes in himself. in her pov,, that's how she loves him. she wants more for him because she believes he deserves more and that he's worth more. it wasn't meant to be a 'greedy' attribute but i understand where it initially comes off as that.

all in all, i think this is one of my very few fics where i picked her flaws on purpose and wrote some in by accident. as a writer, i thought this brought more authenticity in her character as well as sparked the ongoing questions of; what does it really mean to love someone and how much of yourself can you give until there's nothing left? and when there's nothing left; what then? do you pick the pieces together? do you learn and move forward or do you stay where you are and feel it. feel everything and drown in it so you don't miss a thing?

i think oc's character dives into those concepts really well. initially, as i read the asks and 'reviews' on oc,, i felt bad for her (LOL) because truly... she's so misunderstood.

as for jk... i think that man is delusional to the core. but !!! that's my error. i think in the beginning,, bbydaddy jk has this... douche-ness in him that really captures and captivates their dynamic. over time, as the story goes on, you see how fragile he actually is and how pathetic he can get. him proposing to oc was 1) bad timing 2) inconsiderate since he was definitely in his own headspace for thinking and putting his feelings first 3) jus for the drama. LOL !

all in all, i don't think jk did anything wrong (neither did oc) i jus think their relationship is the sole definition of timeless but untimely.

two: asks and anons

please don’t send in asks that bring negative vibes. if u don’t like a character (it’s ok to feel frustrated and all) u can jus move on. no need to send in 'fuck her' if its not in an ironic way 😭 be mindful and remember ur manners. jus cos u’re on anon doesn’t mean u’re held any less accountable !

if u have nothing nice to say,, don’t say it at all. i may not be ur fave writer and this may not be ur fave character or fic ….

and that’s ok.

u are probably not my fave reader anyway 😝

i am not the only smau writer on this app or fic writer at that. i'd encourage u to branch out and find new writers if my characters frusterate u so much (ToT)"

i love receiving silly asks and heartfelt ones even more so when they’re abt my plot and are positive notes regarding my writing! i look forward to those because they remind me of my growth and make me feel appreciated. these fics and smau i make take time btw. like... lots! unfortunately, i'm not talented enough to wake up and write a fic all the way through the end in 1-3 sittings. i need like 5 business days to figure out which jk pic i'm using bro

anon will be turned off for my peace of mind (for now). ikkk it's annoying bc most of u guys are so kind and sweet ,, but it feels like every time i turn it back on,, ppl get ballsy and like srsly???

i am scared of balls

three: kimi's note

at the end of the day, i’m jus a girl writing a silly little story in her free time!

did u catch that? in my free time. the time i put into sitting down, writing, fixing and pacing plots, etc; are all unpaid. i do this because i want to share my creativity and delusions. with that, as a fic writer, i understand and have accepted that there are times when i should feed into the audience/readers' expectations and needs...

and that’s exactly it.

i get to pick and choose what to feed into, what i give out, and what i keep.

with being on tumblr for 4yrs, i've seen so many fic writers leave bitter notes because of how nasty their asks inbox gets. (thankfully, mine is nothing like that) i will not let my inbox become that. i refuse to let my blog and fics burn me out.

i’ve grown so much as a writer over the years. i'm so proud of myself too. yet, i am aware and understand that i am still continuing to learn abt what boundaries i need/have when it comes to my work. i am learning what that means with my social media presence. i am learning how to not let passive/negative asks bother me. i am learning.

if u've been following me long enough, u know how often i take breaks to take care of my mental health, school/work schedule, and maintain/improve my quality of fics.

to be honest, i was really hurt and discouraged when anons gave their 2 cents with my break idea. i posted that to communicate where my headspace was and to have received entitled and inconsiderate responses really threw me off. although, i understand it may not be that serious to the ones that sent it in and i (probably am) overreacting,, i would still like to put it out in the universe that i am not okay with receiving responses like those. please think before you send in. some things are better left unsaid and often unnecessary as it makes me feel like i'm jus a content machine or smt.

and in case u forgot— 

i am a real human with feelings (sometimes with too many).

i'm thankful to have realized and accepted my (known) boundaries. i'm grateful for the confidence and security i have with my wonderful readers and work, knowing that i'm worth the wait.

i know i can and will be taking all the breaks i want. i will binge/content dump all i want. i will take 2 weeks if i want.

through all of this,, i promise to do my best and be better in the future !

if u read everything,, thank u. i wanted to say everything from a place of love and reflection,, so i appreciate u taking the time to understand me. i hope i continue to be a writer u look forward to.

promise ! i'll make u proud ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

all the love,

kimi ♡

[itsaspectrumcomic]

On anon bc identifiable info - advice/thoughts? - This is really long, I'm sorry D: I'm a rambler and all the info is important (to me)

I've always had problems with stuff (according to my mom, "things have always been harder for [me] than everyone else") like I'm always the last one out the door, I lose things a lot (like hats and pencils and water bottles) because I set them down and don't realize, I have a lot of trouble doing textbook homework/notes bc I have trouble focusing

And I have a lot of trouble with social stuff, I never have a lot of friends, I can't keep friends for more than like four years, I feel really disconnected with people and people generally initially like me but like me significantly less after interacting with me a bit

I read a lot, and when I was a kid I would lose all sense of reality outside the book until someone touched me or I finished the book, but I've had a harder and harder time reading anything but fanfic as I've gotten older, and I have a lot of trouble reading very technical/instructions/nonfiction stuff

I have pretty bad insomnia, and spent ~2 years when I was 10-13 ish sleeping ~3-4 hrs/night weekdays and ~12 hrs/night weekends, I have a really hard time getting to sleep specifically - and (tmi maybe tw eating) I've had chronic minor eating issues and constipation (chronic minor dehydration, losing ~ 10 lbs over summers from not eating, etc. like I'm not dying or anything but this will probably eventually cause wear damage)

---

But I'm also a very good student, very smart, generally very good at what I choose to do, I just became a National Merit semifinalist, like, I'm doing "fine". I'm not dying, I'm not failing classes or anything, I've struggled since second semester year before last with getting things done, but I have like a 3.7 gpa rn (I could have a 4 if I tried harder (while I am capable of trying harder, it would destroy me))

I was in Gifted + Talented in elementary school, I'm an honors/ap student (my G+T teacher told my mom that the "gifted" basically means "neurodivergent")

---

I didn't get help for anything until last year, when I kinda fell off (as much as you can fall off while getting a 3.7 gpa ig) and got assessed for insomnia, which I got help with pretty easily (apart for waiting times) which was amazing. Almost went too well iykwim

And I was looking into why I was having such a hard time with everything (social, focus, sleep, schoolwork,etc) and I resonated a lot with autism and some of the feeling very disconnected from society/ other people but I was like eeeh, I'm a teen and idk I'm not, like, having it that bad, so I was looking into more quantitative solid stuff and I took the AQ + CAT-Q + stuff which still have very subjective questions but I tried to be honest and I got 32 (AQ) and 139 (CAT-Q) and 157 (RAADS-R) but like idk I could be biased or misunderstanding or idk

I mentioned feeling like I had more, underlying issues to the doctor I'm seeing for the insomnia and she was basically like "I work with autistic kids - you're not autistic" which like on one hand, you're the expert and I've only really interacted with the internet so idk but on the other, you've spent all of two hours with me, mostly asking me direct questions about my sleep or talking to my mother, like, ofc you haven't seen anything of me. Did I make too much fake eye contact with you?? (BTW if you dislike eye contact for any reason, which I always have, look at noses (my mother taught me this one) or hair (my personal fav) bc it looks like you're looking at the face, but you aren't!!)

this is getting very long winded, I'm sorry if you choose to read all this but thank you it means a lot to me to get someone who knows something's thoughts on this

So I was like "I am having other problems" and she was like "I suspect you may have inattentive type adhd" and I was initially like what?? but I'm not hyperactive. Can't have adhd. What. But I've been kinda thinking about it and lurking at the edge of adhd communities and googling stuff (google is not helpful) and maybe? idk

SO to get to my point/question

I'm very smart. (not tryna be conceited it's just I am) I'm not currently *dying* struggling, though I am having trouble staying on top of classwork

I'm a girl

I live in the USA

I'm pretty good at acting normal, I have a couple friends (one has diagnosed adhd, one has diagnosed autism, one I'm not sure, one I think? could be neurotypical? but she's also like really not idk) (I (only?) have four friends (which is a lot, for me))

I don't know if I'm "adhd enough" (or "autistic enough" if I was right initially) ((or both idk)) to get a diagnosis. I have hypermobility that causes issues with my joints and has led to me not exercising enough and having to quit violin but I'm not hypermobile "enough" to get a diagnosis or help for it (which sucks because it's literally affecting my quality of life, like, I could be an amazing musician if I didn't have this. D: )

If I try, will I get a diagnosis, or will I be "adhd, but not enough"? Should I continue to spend (my parent's insurance) money on this if it probably won't go anywhere? I'm currently 17, starting my senior year of high school. Will things get disrupted in transition to college? If I go abroad for college?

Also, will I crash and burn in college without my mother's considerable support? (tw eating again) I have always had a really hard time getting and preparing and eating food, and without her/structure idk how much I will eat. I loose weight over the summer bc we don't eat as a family much. when I'm on my own, will I struggle even more? Especially trying to juggle food and school and living independently? What about after college? My uncle was fine until he graduated college and now he's alone and a misogynist and mormon and lives with my grandma and seems kinda really miserable except way more hate-filled - am I doomed to the same path?

anyways this is really dark I'm sorry

specific questions for you are:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

If you decide to answer this, partially or completely, thank you, it means a lot to me to get someone else's thoughts on this, if not, I completely understand, either way, I hope you have a good day :)

Hello! A lot of what you wrote feels very familiar to my own experience - I was also considered a good student but found things increasingly difficult to cope with, struggled socially, lost and forgot stuff, couldn't focus etc. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way!

You are not doomed and you are not your uncle. Things can always get better, even when you're at your lowest. You never know what will happen next - you could make a friend, you could discover a new passion, you could be offered a cool opportunity, you could get the chance to pet a really friendly dog. Life isn't a straight line - you might be struggling for a bit, and then some nice stuff will happen, and then you might go through a rough patch again, but then things will improve again and you might feel better than you did before.

For eating when you go to college - identify the foods you generally find easy to make and eat and make sure you have a supply avaliable for when you're struggling. For me, that's pasta (you can get dry pasta which lasts ages in the cupboard, but you could also try fresh ravioli which has stuff inside like spinach or tomato or cheese so it's a bit more varied), crackers, bananas, and breakfast bars. That way if you can't make a proper meal, you at least eat something. Also try to carry a water bottle with you everywhere (if you struggle to drink water you could try flavoured water or juice.) If you forget about needing to eat you could set alarms to remind yourself.

Side note: did you know that hypermobility and autism very often occur together?

Onto your questions:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

It's definitely worth looking into - I can't guarantee you'll get a diagnosis because it really depends on the person/people assessing you and some are more biased than others (if you're able to choose, look for people who say they specialise in diagnosing women and girls or have positive reviews from people in that demographic). Personally I found it helped a lot with getting accommodations, people understanding me, and understanding myself (even before the diagnosis was official). I will say it's usually quite a long process so be prepared for that.

Btw, you can definitely have ADHD without being hyperactive - that's the inattentive type which is more about trouble focusing.

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

Honestly a lot of what you've written will probably come up in an assessment! I had to fill out a form with info about my experiences as a child and the traits I have now, as did my mum. If you're high masking (basically when you try to act 'normal' and hide your neurodivergent traits) do your best not to mask so the assessor gets to see you as you really are.

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

Untypical by Pete Wharmby is an excellent book if you want to learn more about autistic experiences. The author is autistic himself and has an engaging writing style.

How to ADHD is a YouTube channel that focuses on coping techiques for ADHD and is informative as well.

I've found the autism communities on Reddit to be welcoming and supportive - you might like r/AutismInWomen which is inclusive and accepting of self diagnosis and those who are questioning.

You could also follow some of these people on instagram:

morgaanfoley - posts about her experiences as an autistic person

_ellawillis - posts about autism and ADHD and their daily life

candy.courn - posts about autism and disability as well as how that intersects with their experience as an asian person. Also has the most beautifully pink house

colourblind_zebra - makes cute and colourful art about chronic illness and neurodiversity

elliemidds - posts about autism and adhd and runs a community called We are Unmasked (weareumasked on insta)

itsemilykaty - posts about autism, mental health, and her book Girl Unmasked (which I haven't read yet but is supposed to be very good!)

Side note: I also have an instagram if you'd like to follow :) I'm itsaspectrumcomic there as well!

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

Therapy can help a lot - with the right therapist! Look for people who specialise in neurodivergence, particularly in girls. The best ones are on the spectrum themselves :) It's OK if you don't click with the first one you try. You can 'shop around' until you find someone you're comfortable with (which I know can be exhausting but it's worth it when you find the right one).

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

Like I said before, things will get better, and then you might struggle for a while, and then things get better again. It comes in waves, at least for me. I know when you're having a hard time it can feel like it's going to last forever, but I promise it won't. There are always bright spots.

[cpericardium]

So! I've gotten a host of messages and asks regarding recent disk horse and I wanted to address them as a collective.

I know I have anon asks off, I won't share your URLs, but I do want to thank you for asking and clarifying some of the frankly vile things people have been saying about me, my girlfriend, and friends. I value those of you who offered your words of support, and didn't jump to believe screenshots taken out of context and lies written with the utmost confidence and none of the facts. I am a little tired of having my morals questioned and my views conflated with every single person I associate with, but there it goes.

tumblr user cpericardium suspiciously silent on the subject of Gaza: does this mean you support ethnic cleansing???

My reticence when it comes to posting about topics like I/P is because:

-This is a fandom blog intended for lighter topics, except maybe the occasional vent about life stuff, which I usually hide under a cut. I don't have sideblogs. They seem tough to maintain and I don't post nearly enough to justify it. If I were to make one it would be for another fandom or maybe just the freakier bugs. I simply prefer my social media experience to be stress-free.

-Anti-slacktivism. It's a documented thing: posting about an issue makes you feel like you're doing something, you get that little shot of dopamine, so you don't actually go out and do something that effects meaningful change. I'm trying to do less of that. I'm good with the friends and people I follow who choose to post about it and this is a strictly personal belief, but when I engage in activism, it is offline or it is a donation. You're not going to hear about it.

But don't you reblog lgbt and women's rights posts?

Yeah, and that's usually when I want to save a post for one reason or another (e.g. to talk about with someone on discord later). The bottom line is that the main purpose of my blog is not to post political takes or to spread awareness of anything. It is just a collection of my interests (fan stuff, bugs) and hopefully a way to share those interests with like-minded people.

I will state my views clearly for the record: I support Palestine. The ongoing genocide is heartbreaking and so is the violence against protestors. Additionally, I am against antisemitism and the harassment of Jewish people in the name of supporting Palestine. This shouldn't even need to be said.

Is your girlfriend a Zionist?

No.

Does she support Zionists?

No.

Wasn't she in the military?

Yes, years ago.

But the military is evil?

It is. She's extremely hardcore anti-war and anti-military, does not believe the US should even have an army, and actively PMs strangers on reddit to try to convince them to not make the same mistake. If they're dead set anyway, she gives them detailed advice on how to survive. Because she actually cares about the human cost of war, not the social clout gained from shunning or sneering at people who make wrongheaded choices. I have seen her doing this, seen her seeking to understand their reasons for joining so she can systematically explain—from personal experience!—why they're not going to get any of that out of the army. It is a hell of a lot more effective than bitching them out or writing callout posts or starting whisper campaigns about them. She cannot delete those years of her life no matter how much she regrets them. There is only forward. I think we can all agree on that.

But what about all those things she said. "I regret nothing, I have no qualms, VA nipple money etc."

Well you have to understand that while of generally upright character, she is a bit of a scamp. She believes she fundamentally should not have to explain herself to randos who do not know her, who have never, not once, interacted with her, who are clearly digging for dirt and will twist anything she says no matter how banal. People see what they want to see and they look for evidence to reinforce their preconceptions; they'll go so far as to make alts to join servers, cherry-pick screencaps, crop them, and conveniently fill in the rest of the narrative for curious onlookers. So she decided to exaggerate and amplify and twirl her mustache like a supervillain. Give them a show, as it were.

To be clear, I'm not sold on this strat because it makes her look cartoonishly evil to people who can't understand sarcasm and hyperbole. But her friends and I are aware of her actual beliefs from actually talking with her for more than one (1) second instead of immediately believing two mysteriously cropped screencaps from a thirdhand source, and also aware that she did not in fact do those things people imagine she did. And isn't that what matters? Real-life harm? Do you even care?

Re: screenshots/so-called proof from shakertwelve & lakesbian's "callouts"

Girlfriend addresses them here. I will also note they have spread lies about me and other people before.

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

A Personal Post

Hi guys, I'm finally making the post I kept telling myself and my best friends I'd make but wanted to put it off until I felt better. That hasn't happened and with how things are going I thought it was best to just post it now.

So for a while, since probably late 2023, I've felt less like my blog is for me, and more like it's some kind of fandom archive. Which, if you use it this way as-is, great! I'm glad my blog could make you happy like that! But that's not what I set out for it to be.

I'm the sort of neurodivergent person who likes to categorize things, including my interests. All my tumblr blogs are specific to one thing, and this one was no exception.

I began tagging things soon after I made the blog because I saw a lot of people were sad about the twins, and I thought "well since I love both sad and happy stuff, and I'm really good about categorizing things, maybe I can try and help!" And according to many, it did help!

But I think that also gave off the impression that I was making this blog for other folks, and that isn't the case. I'm sorry I never clarified. It's not an archive; I do not reblog shipping posts, posts from people I've blocked, AUs I don't click with, and sometimes just not everything I see.

I've gotten popular in the fandom, and for the most part I do, from the bottom of my heart, enjoy it. I have people who care about my hyperfixation! That's amazing! I have people who love my cosplay and want to meet up with me. I've made so many friends of all shapes and sizes and it's probably the most incredible thing I've ever experienced, truth be told.

But yeah my blog being mine has gotten away from me a bit, I think.

I want to keep tagging my submas tags, that isn't going to change. I will tag triggers when asked, unless it's kind of impossible due to the blog's subject (trains, for instance) or a name or really common word (like the word 'head' or something). Other than that please reach out and I'll do my best to remember. But other tags? Those will be up to me. I don't want to tag when OCs show up. I love OCs and like seeing them, and don't want to have to remember that one person who visits my blog doesn't.

I had anon off for a while because honestly ever since making this blog, there have been anons who really made me unhappy. (Also yes, non-anons but that's been fewer and far between). I've gotten misinformation, accusations, horrible and disgusting explicit asks, and criticisms and complaints, and I'm just... Not here for that. Keep the explicit things and misinfo out of my inbox, I am no arbiter of morality or personal decisions, and I am not here for you to share your negative opinions of submas or the fandom.

Anon is on for people who are too self conscious to chat face to face, for people to send fun headcanon ideas (remember when people did that back in 2022 when this blog started? I miss that, it was sweet and wholesome), to share song recommendations... That kind of stuff. If you have an actual problem, please, PLEASE talk to me off anon, whether that be DMs or a non-anon ask that I can answer privately. Especially if we're friends; please, please just talk to me about stuff. I don't bite! I swear!

But yeah the bottom line is I'm here to participate in fun (and sometimes heartbreaking!) fandom stuff. I'm here for FUN, not as my job. I know that we're all a bunch of neurodivergent folks and sometimes interactions can be a swing and a miss, but please try to be mindful. Please treat me like a person and not just like a museum curator for this blog.

Truth is, I haven't been okay for a while now. It's gotten worse this year for sure, and due to life stuff I cannot see things feeling better for me for some time. I need to go day by day for a lot of things, and I am trying to get better about needing to set boundaries and all that sort of thing. I suffer from intense paranoia too, and having so many eyes on me is genuinely terrifying at times. I'm trying to manage that as best I can, but I do ask that folks be kind.

NO I am not going anywhere, my blog is staying and will continue on as normal, but I really, really needed to get this posted.

Please continue to interact with me and chat and everything like that! But also please remember to treat this space, my blog, as my space. Thanks for reading!

[gffa]

This is a long rant and I apologise if this comes off as too much 😅 I just want to let you know that I'm SO GLAD you're part of the star wars fandom. You're one of the few reasons my interest in this franchise has survived despite the toxicness that it has seeped into everything the past few years. Yes, star wars fandom has always been pretty much a mess but I feel like these days it's somehow gotten even worse. And there isn't even anything coming out that could distract everyone from the constant drama.

Your blog and your posts about the books are always a breath of fresh air in all this. I really appreciate that you take time to make all these long canon references and share them with us. And that you actually engage with canon content! For some reason that seems to be a tall order for most 'fans' these days.

It's exhausting seeing the ice cold takes about the jedi be repeated over and over again by people who seem to have barely even watched the films, let alone read the random book they're referencing to show how the jedi are So Evil and failed poor anakin by Forcing him to let go of his Attachments so they definitely deserved to all get massacred down to the last child!!! And if you push back by citing literally anything canonical to show how ridiculous their takes are they reference a random obscure legends novel (that they are often twisting and also usually haven't even read) And if you point out that, no, Legends isn't canon (and never has been) and we could discuss it as its own separate thing instead of dragging it into canon discussions, they completely flip and say they don't care and to stop taking star wars so seriously 🙄 ( u can probably tell I've had some pretty frustrating fandom arguments recently lol)

It does feel like groundhog day sometimes with the same arguments being repeated over and over again to villainize the jedi while absolving the genocidal mass enslaving space fascists that are Very Clearly the Bad Guys. And it feels pretty much deliberate at this point when people misunderstand star wars' canon definition of attachment and project all their issues in their own lives with their christian upbringing onto the space monks... This has only been exacerbated by people like Headland jumping onto the franchise and doing this with fuckass disney's approval, so now the racist anti jedi youtubers have started attacking this new anti jedi show so if I defend the jedi I get lumped in with them *sigh*

Anyway, I just listened to Padawan's Pride because of your posts and it was fun and a much needed palate cleanser for me after the months of anti jedi takes. I also started reading your jedi citations project and it's gotten me back into reading some other of my favorite jedi fics and maybe writing some of my own. So tldr; Thank You!

Oh, anon, I hear you and I went through a lot of similar feelings over the last few months. In between a lot of IRL stuff coming up and the fandom getting incredibly weird about Jedi fans (soooo much projection going on that it started getting unsettling sometimes) and the same old constant beratement on my posts, I was thinking that I was just too tired to deal with any of it.

It did get hard some days because it felt like no matter how hard I tried to be friendly and make a point to say that everyone needed to be allowed their space whether we agreed or not, that I would still get words put in my mouth or my posts misinterpreted or accused of trying to shut down other people's conversations, when I've never even interacted with that person, I've never reblogged anything from them, never talked about them, just made my own posts about the Jedi on my own blog.

That aspect of how, if we write posts that cite Lucas quotes or moments from the movies and shows, we're taking things too seriously (or the super weird one of how we're trying to "force" people to have to take Lucas' commentary as a holy grail or whatever), then we're taking it too seriously is SO REAL, I have been through that SO MUCH. And it's like, no! Nobody has to take authorial intention into consideration! But if you're going to say that I ~missed the point~ of what Lucas intended with the movies, I'm going to break out the Lucas quotes to show that, no, I didn't miss the point. You're still not obligated to agree, but the point is that I'm not coming out of nowhere with my views and deriding me as not a ~true fan~ or whatever is asshole behavior.

And it's hard to have that groundhogs day feeling, especially because you don't necessarily want to spend that time getting into arguments with people--they are allowed their own space, if they want it! But if they're coming into our space, then yes we get to respond with an essay if we like. (And, hey, some of us genuinely like writing essays, it's satisfying!) But I've found the best mindset for me to have when arguing is: I'm not going to convince this person in front of me and that's fine, they're not going to convince me, either. But there are other people watching this discussion and they are seeing which one of us is being a pill and which one of us looks kinda fun to hang out with.

Which is my way of winding around to what I really want to say--I'm so glad that I can help you want to have fun in this corner of fandom! There's always going to be times to respond with sharp edges to Jedi-critical stuff (especially when it starts dipping into the racist, xenophobic, bigoted nonsense)(not all of Jedi criticism is this, but it does happen all too often), I don't blame Jedi fans for having their nerves scraped raw by people feeling absolutely free to treat our posts like public property instead of them coming into someone else's lane to make a mess. (I've met some very nice Jedi critical people, this isn't about them, this is about the assholes.)

But is it really worth being in a fandom where that's all we do anymore? We can't avoid the negativity, we can't avoid people being assholes to us, but we can work on making the content we want to see at the end of a long day when we get home and log onto the computer and want to see something that makes us feel joyful.

I hope I'm doing my part to make it fun to stick around the fandom, to want to read some of the books or some of the fic, I love the artists who are drawing the cutest Jedi art, I love the fic writers who are writing great Jedi-positive stories, I love people who make silly shitposts about how funny the Jedi fan be, I love people who cry over the deaths of their favorite Jedi, they help make the fandom worthwhile.

It really does make a huge difference, I think! Whenever I need that same palette cleanser, I just take a week or so to push aside all discourse (don't even go look), just pick up some of my favorite Jedi fics, just go looking for some of my favorite Jedi art, reread "Padawan" or "Padawan's Pride" or "Obi-Wan & Anakin" or "The Living Force" or "Dark Rendezvous" and just spend time thinking about the things I love about the Jedi in canon, thinking up headcanons about lineages or nerdy Jedi philosophy arguments or adrenaline junkies, and it helps create the space I want to be in.

Hearing that I can help you with that is a huge boost as well--I hope you know that it helps me in return to know that we can help build something together here in our corner of the Star Wars internet. We're in this together and we can cheer each other up with cute content and I am getting out the pom-poms for you to have fun with that fic! <3

[maislovebot]

I LOVE YOUR VAMP SIGMA X READER ONESHOT This is like the third time I've read it. Do you mind if I request vamp!sigma x human!fem!reader hcs?? 🤍

Vampire

Ofc I can do this, anon❤️ I decided to do sfw and nsfw hcs so everyone can have what they’re looking for!

Contains: afab + fem reader, vampire sigma, human reader, headcanons format, this is under the assumption that his vampirism comes from his special ability, the ability is completely different from Bram’s in terms of rules btw, teasing, oral (reader receiving), biting, turning you into a vampire, gentle sex, switch sigma

Sfw hcs:

• Vampire!Sigma who struggles with human emotions. He’s only been around for three years, and he hasn’t had much emotional connection with anyone. He truly tries his hardest to understand you on a deeper level, but he finds it difficult! Not only that, but he isn’t even human. He hasn’t had much social interaction besides with customers at all, and the interaction he has had has been with people like Bram, as Fyodor introduced the two of them to plot (Fyodor’s exact words). Bram has had much more experience with humans, as he has been around for hundreds of years, so he is able to tell Sigma how to interact with you sufficiently better!

• Off topic, but I am obsessed with the idea of Sigma and Bram being best friends, as they’re both vampires. They bond over it, and their grave difference in age honestly makes their interactions a little entertaining. You find it adorable!

• vampire!Sigma who when the both of you had first gotten together, he wasn’t sure how to tell you that he was a vampire, because how do you break that news to someone? Even if it’s known that there are special abilities by practically everyone, vampirism is still a little out there..

• vampire!Sigma who had to break all the little rules to you that had been created by the media. No, he isn’t allergic to sunlight, he doesn’t mind garlic, and no, if he were to bite you, he would not turn you unless he bit you with the intent of turning you. There are so many outlandish theories that humans have come up with that he was honestly a little surprised. Where had you even gotten any of these ideas from?

• “Is getting a stake to the heart the only way to kill you?”

• “No, I’m sure there are plenty of things that could..”

• If anything, a stake to the heart would probably cause very little damage outside of bleeding because he doesn’t have a heart like you

• vampire!Sigma who may not have a heartbeat, but he loves listening to yours. He’ll lay his head atop your chest and just listen to your heart beating. It brings him so much comfort, he can’t help it! Just being aware of the fact that you’re alive and well brings him so much comfort.

• vampire!Sigma, who is aware of the fact that he’s going to outlive you by many, many years, and while he knows that he could theoretically just turn you into a vampire as well, he’s very hesitant. Bram doesn’t understand why he won’t just turn you, as his ability doesn’t have effects like his. You won’t become mindless after he turns you, unlike Bram’s ability, so why not? Sigma claims it’s because he doesn’t want you to have to deal with the hassle. You’re gonna have to drink blood for the next couple-hundred years, you’ll get withdrawal symptoms if you go too long without it, and so on.. He’s hesitant.

• He knows he’ll have to turn you eventually if he wants you to live with him forever, but he’s trying to draw is out for just a little longer

Nsfw hcs:

With that last headcanon we’re entering pretty nsfw territory, so better switch it into nsfw hcs now…

• vampire!Sigma, who as stated before, is hesitant to bite you, but sometimes he just gets too desperate. He tries to space it out, instead eating steak and other bloody foods, but nothing can quite compare to you.

• vampire!Sigma who once licked your finger after a papercut, because according to you, “why waste it when you’re right there?” And he's never been the same. He quite literally almost came right then and there from just a few drops. You taste amazing, and every now and then he does bite you, although it’s typically when he’s so hungry he can’t even think because he’s gone too long without high quality blood. He still hasn’t turned you yet though, that’s too far for him

• vampire!Sigma who loves to grind against your thigh when he bites you. He gets so turned on from your taste that he can’t even control his body and he ends up grinding against your thigh desperately while he bites into your neck

• vampire!Sigma who always feels a little guilty after he bites you, seeing the teeth marks, and the small drops of blood running down your skin. He always wipes you clean, apologizing profusely, even though most of the time, you’re the one who brought it up in the first place, as you��d noticed how he had been eyeing your neck all evening.

• vampire!Sigma who after he bites you, cleans you up, and if you’re too tired from the blood loss, takes you right to bed and lets you cuddle as he wraps bandages around wherever he bit you. If you’re not too tired..you better expect to be pampered. He’s gonna be between your thighs, eating you out for as long as you can stand, trying to desperately make up for hurting you, even if it’s obvious you aren’t upset with him. He’ll eat you out for as long as you can handle, and if you’re still up for more, expect to be treated as if he’s been deprived of release for days.

• vampire!Sigma who after he eats you out, has come in his own boxers at least twice. He’s so sensitive, especially after drinking your blood, it isn’t difficult for him to come untouched.

• vampire!Sigma who loves biting your neck, but his favorite place to bite you will always be your thighs. They’re so perfect, and there’s so much free skin there. After he bites you, he’ll lick the skin there to help soothe it, and watching you squirm from the heat of his tongue on the bite marks never fails to drive him crazy. He’ll purposely ignore your drenched cunt and the way you keep bucking your hips into his face, finding your whines adorable.

• vampire!Sigma, who more often than not, doesn’t even bite you during sex at all. He doesn’t love to bite you, as he knows it tends to make you drowsy, and it definitely causes you pain. More often than not he likes to have completely vampirism free sex.

• vampire!Sigma who talks you through it whenever he bites you. He wants to comfort you, so he’s going to try his hardest to give you reassuring words throughout.

• “You’re doing so good–”

• “Does this hurt too much?”

• “Y-you’re doing great for me, pretty girl.”

• vampire!Sigma who goes crazy when you take care of him. Whenever he’s feeling less dominant and you just sit there and take care of him, it makes him feel weak in the knees and all he wants to do is hold you close.

• vampire!Sigma, who realizes that all that you want is for him to turn you, all you want is to live with him for as long as he does. And even if he’s hesitant, he’s willing to do it. He’s had plenty of dreams about turning you (causing him to wake up with a very uncomfortable boner), but he’s been too scared to. He doesn’t want you to live with the annoying consequences, but he knows that this is what you truly want.

• vampire!Sigma who walks up to you, telling you that he’s ready to turn you whenever you are, and is pleasantly surprised when you jump onto him and tell him you want to right now. He wanted to have painkillers and drinks that help make your blood healthier on standby for when he did this, as he does need to drink sufficiently more blood to turn you, but he saw how excited you were, so he decided to rush to the store as soon as possible so he could fulfill your wish.

• Vampire!Sigma, who once he starts the process, guides you through every step of the way. Taking breaks whenever you get lightheaded, giving you sips of water to help you regain your energy, and so on.

Wc - 1.3k

Ugh you’re making me wanna write a fic abt the last headcanon, anon😭

[wolfertinger]

Hi. I hope this isn't too off-topic, I know this blog is focused on Salem, but since so many anons have been mentioning Ezra/toonimal lately and this blog has a lot of eyes on it, I wanted to share some info on him. I've tried to share this with the critterkiddo blog and other internet watchdog groups, I've even reported it to the cybertip website a couple of times, but no one's ever gotten back to me. I know that the group who originally reported him had a line directly to the FBI, and I was hoping someone could get this info to them.

Erza has a new site that's basically oddballs 2.0. I'm hesitant to share the url because 1) I don't want to inadvertently promote CSAM and 2) mods of the site say that "callouts" always act as free promo for their instance, they get an uptick of new member whenever it happens.

Just like oddballs, the site is full of child/animal abuse apologia and kids as young as 13 are allowed to join. They also federate with (the software allows interaction from) multiple instances (other websites running the same/similar software) that allow real photos of actual kids. This site's federation runs on a whitelist, meaning that only users/posts from other instances that Ezra has personally approved of can be interacted with. So he can't use the "it's not my website, it's not my problem" excuse he tried to use last time.

He also runs a "radical sex positivity" site called burnthefigleaf(.)now. It doesn't have any social aspect or any graphic material, so I'm not as worried about sharing the url to that one. It is still full of abuse apologia though. It groups incest, pedophilia, and bestiality in with harmless labels with polyamory and links to blogs of other self-identified pedophiles.

I'm sorry, I just hate how it seems like the hate around him has died down or been redirected to be about shit that has nothing to do with anything. Ezra is a dangerous person and he is still out there. More people need to know this shit.

i found it shocking, that he continues to try and come back, despite being chased off, every single time.

i am unsure, if he is simply so deeply mentally ill, he does not understand why others (rightfully) hate him. or if he is genuinely, just pure evil. either way. i think he permanently, needs to have internet access revoked. he has proven, he cannot be trusted, period.

[sunsetcurve]

Hey! Same anon here!

(Listen, I just want to see this fandom being more active, haha! And I think that you are very articulate, and quite insightful, haha! 😌)

Can I ask you what do you think, retrospectively, about Fanon Max™️? Do you have any observations about how the character was handled by the fandom? Like, the entire #protectmax2016 discourse, for example.

It's 2025, and I'd really like to be honest, haha! Can we say that it was part of the appeal? It was part of the appeal lol. Like, I think that people came for the villain phase, for the wonderful relationship between Max and Phoebe, for the character development, but stayed because he was downplayed (But I'll admit, I might be projecting here 😆😆)

By rewatching the unaired pilot episode, I've started to think that the fact that Max's skills weren't acknowledge during the series (See: Max to the Future), was a byproduct of the writers' not knowing how to justify Max's sense of inferiority towards Phoebe, when the character took Oliver's place in the show: it almost feels like they still wanted to use the "villain brother" storyline, and had already found a sympathetic rationale for the character (Oliver had no powers, and Phoebe had so many of them) and tried to make it work by trying to "trick" the audience into thinking that Max was talentless.

What do you think about that?

hi anon welcome back!! thank you so much, that’s so sweet and i also would love to get more activity in this fandom, so i’m happy to have you in my inbox 🥰🥰 feel free to come talk to me about this show literally at any time, i love talking about it!!

for the protectmax2016 thing specifically, i actually wasn’t really around in the fandom during that time (i was definitely watching the show, but i didn’t get into the fandom here on tumblr until closer to maybe 2018?) so i’m not familiar with what was going on! but i’d love to hear more about it, i’m very curious. also just more overall, to be completely honest i don’t actually interact that much with the fandom in general outside of my sphere of usual mutuals, partially because it’s so small, partially because a big portion of the content is either thunderc*st (which i filter/block on sight) or like x reader stuff (which is just not my personal cup of tea), but i’ll do my best to give my thoughts on this based on what i have seen!

i definitely have been a max defender since i started watching this show and have always been pretty open about him being my favorite, so i totally get the sentiment. i can’t speak for everyone, but i for one have always gotten more into kids shows that i think have the potential for a more complex character/relationship/dynamic than they put on screen, just because it always gives me something to write and think and talk about. i definitely have always felt like that with max, especially with his family dynamic and like, obviously most of his initial descent into villainy happening off screen, and i do think there was a lot of agreement in at least the circles that i was in that there was something interesting there. for the fandom as a whole (at least from what i’ve seen) i think it certainly helped that he was a conventionally attractive “bad boy” who, imo, had pretty compelling development over the course of the series.

i do think fanon and canon max are pretty different; i know i definitely write max differently than i perceive him on screen, not because i don’t like him in the show but because making him a little bit edgier and more reserved/cool is just aesthetically fun for me. i also do think the fanon versions of him downplay just how much of a goof he is, like he does get into some pretty ridiculous shit in the show and he’s definitely not as “edgy bad boy” as he pretends to be/he’s written by the most of the fandom. i honestly think his dorkiness adds to his appeal in the show; a lot of the reason i write him the way i do is because i either a) am doing angstier stuff than the show or b) am writing tgsa (my silly little dangerverse crossover chatfic), where i write everyone a little more charicature-y to make them all more distinct (since there’s so many characters). i will say though, i also think part of the reason fanon max is sometimes inconsistent is because canon max is; i really like the way he’s written overall, but i think max as a character suffers from the writers needing him to be different things for the narrative at different times: i kind of talked about this in my answer to the last question about seasons, but he spends most of s1 being pretty sweet at his core despite his posturing, but then spends a lot of s2 being a more one-dimensional asshole while he’s creating conflicts for phoebe. i think s3 and s4 are way better about this, but the thundermans undercover has kind of started to go back to that characterization of him being selfish/unwilling to own up to his mistakes so they can play it for laughs or create more conflict. it’s definitely not always like that, but he does change a lot episode to episode. i think max characterizations in the fandom generally tend to lean more heavily on that asshole-with-a-heart-of-gold idea, because it definitely is more appealing, and in doing so he gets to be a little bit more cool and edgy and serious.

i’m getting a little off track here so sorry for the tangent—but like, with max’s skills and the original idea of oliver specifically, i definitely do agree that the writers kind of wrote themselves into a corner when they wrote max’s primary reasoning for becoming a villain to be about not being as good as phoebe but then also…didn’t give us much to explain why he feels that way or where it comes from. because, to be totally frank, phoebe does in canon work way harder than max, and that seems to be the main reason she’s more successful than him. in fact like, i would argue that some things seem to come more naturally to max than they do to her, and she just puts more time and effort and care into getting it right (report card is a great example of this). i do think it sets up a reallyyyy interesting parallel between them, where they’re both hyper-perfectionists but it takes them in opposite directions (i talked about this very briefly here), so i do still think it still makes sense for both of their characters, but at the same time with like us not ever seeing the beginning of max’s villain arc it’s really hard to pinpoint where his “inferiority” comes from, especially when, when he does start actually trying, he does just as well as phoebe. and yeah, i think it’s definitely reasonable and a great observation to think the writers tried to write away some of the things he’s especially good at; he’s consistently shown as extremely smart by the things he does, but the narrative and the other characters in the show generally treat him like he’s not, and the show itself doesn’t really acknowledge just how intelligent he is (except when he’s calling himself a genius). there seems to be a general sentiment of frustration towards max to the future specifically for being especially guilty of this. i honestly agree that knowing about oliver makes all of this a lot more sense: obviously i don’t know what the writers were thinking, but if i had to guess it seems like they wrote oliver as a villain with no powers who relied on his intelligence to give him a leg up, turned oliver into max and gave him powers, wanted to keep his inventions/intelligence as part of his character and as a plot device but didn’t have a good way to balance it out with his powers, and so just kind of left it as Something He Does without giving it much weight as like, a particularly special skill of his that sets him apart. it does feel kind of weird overall because it seems like the writers both try to put him on equal footing with phoebe ability/powers wise but then want to justify his feeling of inferiority, so a lot of times he’s kind of written off as just seeming either lazy or careless, which is where i think the fandom depiction of him (where things like adhd/dyslexia/other learning disorders are popular hcs, he has a more complicated relationship with his parents/their expectations, etc) helps to fill in some of the gaps.

this is getting super long so i’m gonna wrap up but like, this is a very long-winded way of saying i definitely agree with you about everything. i like max’s portrayal overall but i honestly think that because for a long time he doubles as both the secondary protagonist and the antagonist, the writers spend at least a decent amount of time not being completely sure what to do with him. this is where i think, while obviously him not having powers would’ve made for a very different show, it could’ve been really interesting for his character; i think there’s even a world where his powers developed later on like in s2 or 3 but his experiences built enough resentment to where he still wanted to be a villain, and i’m really curious as to what that version of max would’ve looked like. for the most part i think the change from oliver to max was for the best, but i think the villain justification made more sense in the original pilot, and would’ve made for a super compelling story. i have like a million more thoughts on max as a character but that’s all i can coherently put into words for now, so let me know what you think and thank you so much for the ask!

[ask-the-meteor-crew]

FAQ Behind The Curtain

How do you draw so fast?

I'm currently double majoring in Animation and Creative Writing. I'm built different and also just, not trying very hard on most of these drawings. Drawing fast is kind of the backbone of animation and I've noticed coloring everything makes most people assume whatever line quality or level of finish on the outlines is a stylistic choice rather than laziness. What program do you use? I used Clip Studio Paint until about #021 when I picked up after haitus and used Procreate out of comfort and convenience. Do you use stock backgrounds or make them as you go? Every time I decide a scene needs a new background I draw it out in it's entirety and save it to my collection of backgrounds to use. So yeah, I'm not redrawing the background every single time it appears, I'm basically building out the meteor one room at a time in hopes of one day not having to draw backgrounds anymore. Where do you get the space photos? NASA's Hubble Space Telescope team has politely made all of the telescopes published photographs public domain, I imagine as a service to the planet as the intersection between photographers and people able to go that far into space is understandably zero. Font/Handwriting questions I stopped handwriting for most panels as I realized my best handwriting is all caps and it would be a shame if Karkat was the only character anyone could understand. I still use handwritten text for "special speech" which is whispers, and shouting, anything that's supposed to feel or sound radically different from the rest of the yapping. It did take me a while to settle on a font, I found a really good one for Dave that didn't have apostrophes and gave everyone else a typewriter font for a while, until I found the alternate version of the font I used for Dave that had all the special grammar symbols and numbers I could ever need. It's called the Atari font in the actual file but I have no idea if Atari ever actually used this version of it. Does the ask box ever close? When will my question be answered? It doesn't close and I have more questions than I'll probably ever answer. Some are confused about canon, others have had the core idea of their question asked multiple times already and I just didn't feel like collecting them all as screen shots. And some I just don't have answers for. Some get deleted because I don't like the tone, don't get the joke or found a typo particularly difficult to parse. No biggie. Questions will be answered if and when I feel like drawing a comic for it. Some questions are a better starting point for a comic than others, don't take it personally. Can the characters still talk to John and Jade? Can they run into them in the dream bubbles? According to canon, no. According to this blog, also no. Do you take magic anons? No. While I've gotten flimsy on the vlog framing device in order to make a more entertaining comic overall, the truth still remains that anything beyond messages in a digital inbox from some far off unspecified rift in paradox space would have some pretty immersion breaking implications on the setting overall. I know I answered a question offering Dave some clothes but the clothes were not given to him, I used it more as a prompt for him to take the clothes he already had out of the dryer. Is this blog safe for minors? This blog contains canon typical violence and themes, however when it comes to sexual content (the one thing minors absolutely CANNOT legally interact with) this blog is rated T for teen. Think like The Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother. Sex can be implied and a frequent topic of conversation but never occurs on screen. Ultimately it's up to you and maybe your parents to decide if you can handle the blogs contents as you are responsible for curating your own online experience. TLDR if you're old enough to be on tumblr you should be fine.

How do I address the author?

My name is Sky, she/her pronouns exclusively. Please don’t try to hold conversations via the ask box. Just DM me.

Where do I send questions and comments for the author?

@meteor-crew-after-dark

[callistocalavarni]

Heyy!! Can I be your "🪷" anon? I'm the one that asked you if your relationships would be affected after you've been traveling to other realities for a long period of time! 💞💞 Like if you'd feel more distant from them, or if it would be the opposite. I don't mind you being blunt at all, because remember that that's a universal experience we have in THIS reality.. 😭😭 Relationships being immature in this world? No I get it bae we've all been there to witness it. <3

Another question I'm so curious about is.. Well I'm not sure if it would be a funny one, but have you ever felt sentimental by how beautiful another reality was?? Have you ever cried about experiencing them after waking up here.. Or have you disassociated because you couldn't process it all.. Or was your experience more like this thing where you woke up in your dr and just felt "normal" like you've always been there..? And I want to know how you experience things in your realities when interacting with the nature and the environment.. It must be surreal.

Or even the people. I get most sentimental with how beautiful people are wherever I'm in, so I wonder if you've ever gotten sentimental over someone in another reality that you've loved. Have they ever healed you in a way? Like when you bond with those people, they end up making you feel such transformational things and rewire your thoughts and just.. Be the happiest person in the world?

My current reality is the only reality I've been in and I've already experienced crying many times because of the amazing people and the earth so I'm not sure how beyond happiness I'd actually feel if I were to go off to another realm that's full of FANTASY. Sorry for blabbering, but life must be magical for a shifter.

I'm just asking because I'm actually rewatching a movie I'm going to shift to as my first ever shift 🫶🫶 Okay, it's avatar, the Pandora planet. That's my vacation plan 🎉🎉 It's my 2nd attempt shifting I'm so nervous and excited 😔😔😔

AND HOW'S YOUR KURASIA CHILD, MOTHER?? <33

Hii you totally can ! 🪷 

I think I've said this before but when I'm in another reality it’s like there's a filter over everything. You perceive everything in another way. Think of it like color grading a photo or video.  I was writing a draft about one of my shifts and I wrote a short segment about how beautiful it was there.  "The architecture here never fails to awe me. I remember standing at the edge of the road looking at my friends talking to a seller, white marble buildings carved with purple and blue designs  behind them, lush plants surrounding us. There was a thick mist in the air, like fog was dripping out of the plants." When you script certain things and shift there they will be even better than you imagined. The way the forests and mountains look are incredible. I’ve traveled a lot here and to be honest they aren't comparable. 

When I come back here I guess my reaction depends on whatever I experienced. If I have a heavy shift I go to my waiting room to sort my feelings out there instead of here. - I’ve definitely cried in my waiting room though haha. Like I said, most of the time when I come back I feel light. 

Getting sentimental over someone in another reality is a yes. I have different parents in most of my drs so I do miss my dad and he definitely healed the little girl in me. My sister Slyvis is another person I would put on that list, although she isn’t in my kirasia dr. Then there’s my wife, I have different s/o’s in different realities but she’s the one I have spent most of my time with. And as for my daughter I’ve only seen her as a newborn but she’s the cutest.. Her name is Makkari  …and my cat. I miss my cat

And I definitely recommend going to a place that's filled with whimsy, I scripted that Unicorns are native animals in Lumari.. But without the magic. I’ve never shifted to Pandora, I've only watched the first movie. But I can tell that it would be a cool place to go !! Good luckk