#because I always second guess myself

[gracieheartspedro]

who wants to be besties and let me send my fics to them before I post them <3

[danieyells]

I have a memory span of a goldfish so I probably forget if someone has written about something related to this topic or not... but excluding Taiga who directly mentioned the topic to us, why does it seem that only Tohma and Alan are the only ones shown so far to know/talk about the existence of the spy and actively searching for them? I can only theorize that they were only being made aware of the spy's existence because something happened in Vagastrom that was caused by an unknown party and it probably directly/indirectly worsen the situation during The Clash... but it still made me curious why they were never seen communicating with ghouls from other houses about the spy even in subtle/discreet manner (either because they don't want to alert the spy or still aren't sure where the spy came from...?) and why none of the other ghouls seem to notice the oddity/draw their own conclusion and do their own investigation? (unless it is just... never being shown yet to us on-screen so we're left to believe that only Tohma and Alan and Taiga are the ones who know about the spy hjhdjdjdjdjdjfkl)

There's also this question about what makes Tohma and Alan trust each other/believe that neither of them are the spy himself... but I'm not ready to (over)think about this question so I will just believe that being a Vagastrom and (probably) forging their friendship through fistfights has created unbreakable bonds between them that can't easily be destroyed by mere existence of an unknown enemy 💪

So far we haven't seen anybody else talking about the spy, no! To be fair we haven't really found out who they would be spying for. . .they're trying to defame the ghouls as a whole but they're one of the ghouls themselves. . .to be fair we've only seen so many conversations between the ghouls without the PC present--and most of them seem concerned about their personal lives and missions more than any sort of greater plans.

It makes sense for Tohma--he has big plans that involve changing the Institute. Of course he's aware of the spy. And Alan is someone he probably trusts more than anyone. Alan is blunt and honest and straightforward--he couldn't run an operation intended to damage the reputations of the ghouls or be a spy or anything, he's just not built for it as a person--which also means he's vulnerable, I think. So he needs him to be aware for his own safety. And like you said, for characters like them I think a bond forged with bare fists is a bond that can't be broken lmao. He can trust Alan not to talk, even if he can't trust him not to let on that he knows something. But also Alan's reputation is already a mess. The likelihood that the spy would get too close to him feels slim to none to me. Just. Too big and obvious of a guy overall.

Taiga has his possibly stigma related Awareness--so if he just. . .knows, that also makes sense. He even says "do you wanna know who it is or keep letting them fool you" which tells me that he already knows and he's just not telling. He doesn't have to look for the spy, he's waiting to see what happens. He's looking out for himself and Romeo. Maybe the pc and Ritsu now too.

Also I feel like Tohma's interactions with Haku and Rui are supposed to be implicit of the spy situation, especially when Leo says someone(most likely Alan and Tohma?) are meeting near the "gross forest"(Obscuary, probably.) and there's Rui who can obscure himself in the shadows and admits to keeping an eye on people. . . .

But I assume that Tohma doesn't trust others with it at the moment, not until he knows for sure who the spy is. And everyone else is far too busy running their houses and living their lives to notice whatever Tohma and Alan noticed(or they simply don't question it or they accept it because 'whatever, our reputations sre bad anyway, how much more damage could someone else do?' or 'we're graduating soon anyway' for the third years, and they're probably not nearly as reliable in Tohma's eyes? I mean think about who all the other second and third years and captains and vice captains are. Not really the most trustworthy bunch with a delicate situation, especially if it's possible that they could be connected to the spy.

I imagine we'll learn more whenever we get back to Vagastrom or Frostheim!! But I think the spy situation is gonna have to be addressed closer to learning about the Clash. And I feel like we haven't quite gotten there with everyone yet, so we're a ways off.

On the other hand, Ed has a home screen line to the effect of "the ghouls are rioting again? They're so energetic. Anyway i was watching a youtube video." and next chapter is Obscuary so. . . . . . . . . . .

[erumai-maadu]

Sakura comes home after the second stage of the chunin exams with her hair short and her face set with grim determination to be stronger.

Her mother is distraught, eyes the choppy bob critically, before letting it go and telling her that it'll grow back quickly. She's young, after all, and her hair has always grown quickly.

But Sakura keeps trimming it, never letting it grow back out to the length that she was so proud of before. She feels freer without it, somehow. Her head is lighter, no longer pulled down by the weight of thick hair and people’s expectations.

It doesn't matter any more when people eye her bruised knuckles, the scars scattered on her body, the eyebags from long shifts at the hospital.

Short hair is more practical for a shinobi, after all. At least, that's what she tells her mother. They've never met the Hyuuga, so it doesn't matter if it isn't necessarily true.

Besides, Sakura isn't Neji, with his impenetrable defenses. She's a brawler with fists that punch through rock and shatter bones, and she cannot afford for someone to grab the hair that would whip around in the devastating blasts left in her wake.

Sometimes, she can still feel the Sound shinobi's hand in her hair, the burning pain in her scalp. Lee and Naruto unconscious on the ground and her weak, useless body trembling in fear.

Other nights, she feels the cold wind, a gentle pinch and a murmured "thank you" on the back of her neck. She sees Naruto's wide smile, a promise to bring him back to her, back to the village. Naruto and Sasuke with their backs to her, always in front, always walking away, leaving her behind.

Sakura trains with a savage ferocity that few can match. She needs to be better, always moving forward, so that some day, she can overtake Naruto and Sasuke.

There are times that she wakes up with a scream caught in her throat, hand reaching for a kunai pouch that isn't there. She gets up and sneaks out, runs to the mountains behind Hokage rock and pummels the rocks until her fists are bloody and her fears are assuaged. The weak little girl died in the Forest of Death, cut out of her along with the long pink locks she discarded.

The weight that was holding her back is gone. She will not be left behind. Never again.

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.

Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.

I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.

And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.

[thefrogdalorian]

Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!

It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!

Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!

I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.

Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!

[forzafinally]

How are some of you reading 100 books a year 😭

[shilohtx]

i know I must be pretty normal cause my last two and most significant long running relationships ended with one of us in the mental hospital + one of us in jail. respectively

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Does anyone else in art school struggle with enjoying your assignments or is that a bad thing.

[latias-eevee-hatori]

When a completed fic mysteriously updates with a new chapter, but it is not the final chapter and there are no author's notes about it at the beginning nor end.

??????????????????????????????

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Every time something good happens I crash and burn afterwards and feel so depressed. I wish it wasn't that way.

[e1ectrostatic]

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge Day 14

Q: What are shifts like?

A: Before I begin, I'm strictly speaking about my personal experience here, and in no way does this post serve as a universal definition. Think of this like a diary entry, not an encyclopedia entry.

Anyway, what they're like can vary wildly based on several factors. Two big ones are the kintype in question, and what prompted the shift. Generally though, a shift almost always comes with strong feelings attached, and in its own way, each shift feels like coming home.

Because this blog is for discussing my identity as Luca, I'll focus on that kintype. However, it's a bit hard for me to describe, because more often than not I'm in a Luca shift. I consider it more of a "default" state of being, for lack of a better term.

Anyway, how a Luca shift feels depends on what prompted it. In my personal experience, kinshifts are always prompted by something, and never come randomly.

Most of the time, shifts are prompted by music. Sometimes it's music that resonates with me lyrically — the words metaphorically "bring me back" to my source. Other times, it resonates with me melodically. The sound scratches my brain in a "Luca" way, and/or is a song I would've liked in-source. Sometimes, both the lyrics and the melody take me back.

Other common triggers include (but aren't limited to):

Lore drops (particularly about my backstory or time at the manor)

Any other official drops that I consider relevant to me

Fanart that aligns with my memories/noemata or otherwise touches me in some way

Analysis of my source that aligns with my own perception, or that prompts new introspection

Unrelated creative works that resonate with me from a Luca perspective

Random posts/memes on the internet I find relatable or that cater to my sense of humor

A common denominator among all of these potential triggers is that they are all callbacks to my memories and noemata. For example, my birthday reveal prompted a Luca shift, because it affirmed my suspicions about what my interests, likes, and dislikes were.

Another example of something that has happened to me several times is finding a song that reminds me of someone important to me, so I ruminate on my feelings and memories about that person, which prompts a Luca shift.

A final example I'll give is coming across a post on my dash that I feel captures my "essence" as Luca, so I sit and think about it and any specific memories or noemata it may have reminded me of. Or maybe I just find it relatable (or funny!) without necessarily being reminded of specific aspects of my source. Both cases can prompt a shift.

My response to the shift and how it feels depends on how I feel about the memories and stuff attached to it (positively or negatively). Generally speaking, whether my feelings are positive or negative, I'll probably feel pretty intensely going into it regardless, and spend the next while dwelling on it.

My negative memories/noemata associated with this kintype hold a lot of resentment and anger, so those are the most common emotions I feel during a shift prompted by stuff like that. I may also feel sadness for what I've lost or what I've been through. Or, I can feel frustration at what I didn't know then and don't know now. Feelings like hate, obsession, and grief are no strangers during these shifts.

Shifts fueled by negative emotions can feel like a stab in the chest, or sometimes it can get especially bad and feel like I'm burning from the inside. Either way, I like to make use of outlets so I'm not just stewing in it. Music is my main outlet, but I may also draw, write, or talk it out if I feel up for it. Redirecting my focus to something else entirely also helps.

From the outside, I might appear withdrawn and low-energy so as to not needlessly dump my problems on others, or misdirect my feelings. If it's nothing too serious though, I probably don't seem any different. Just preoccupied at worst.

My positive memories/noemata associated with this kintype...can honestly be few and far between (having a horror source is great /sarcasm). But, they still exist, and can still prompt shifts just like negative noemata can. Most of the time, shifts prompted by positive emotions are fueled by my love for the people I was close to in my canon (or even just amicable acquaintances with). There's not a lot about this source I can be wholeheartedly happy about outside of my cherished interpersonal relationships, so I can't think of any examples of purely positive shifts off the top of my head that don't revolve around my friends and peers. Maybe I'll come back and try to think of some sometime.

Shifts fueled by positive emotions can feel like a flower blossoming in my chest; it feels full, yet ticklish, like the petals are gently brushing against my flesh. It's comparable to the feeling you get when you're about to laugh. It can also feel like a spurt of energy too big to let out all at once, or simply a tranquil, warm fondness. Usually, I don't feel the need to make use of any outlets, and prefer to sit and enjoy the feeling. If I do use any outlets, though, they're the same ones I use to process negative emotions.

From the outside, I have no idea whether or not being preoccupied with positive noemata affects my behavior. I imagine I don't act differently, but if I do, it can't be anything bad. Perhaps the worst that can happen is that I become a bit more chatty.

Then, there's the grey area between positive and negative: nostalgia. It fits there perfectly, like a puzzle piece linking the two together. Nostalgia is a very common trigger for kinshifts for me, and feels like a potent mix of both pleasant and sour emotions. There's no way for me to describe it concisely. It's deserving of its own post, honestly.

I guess it's just a mix of the positive and negative, period. I feel nostalgia when something reminds me of or when I think about the places, people, and things I loved in my canon. Things I took pride in, as well. It's bittersweet, because while the love I hold is still just as strong today, the key difference between then and now is that what I love doesn't exist in this world. Not to mention the things I loved and lost in my canon, not just the things I lost when I began the life I live now.

Both kin and non-kin alike are familiar with nostalgia, so it feels redundant to explain or describe, but for the sake of consistency and archiving my thoughts I'll do it anyway. Shifts brought about by nostalgia feel like something twisting and wrenching in my chest. Like an itch that can never be scratched, or reaching for something that feels so close, but never so much as brushes against your hand. It's a love for something that no longer exists how I knew it. It's either forever altered, or gone altogether.

Nothing stays in perfect stasis for eternity, as much as I like to deny it. Places and times changing and ceasing to exist altogether are inevitable, so it's inevitable that your love will change, too. Don't get me wrong, it brings me great joy to reflect on the things I love, but the longing comes with the love. It's a package deal.

I suppose that's all I can say on the subject for now. I'll ruminate on this a bit more, and see what else I can write about the subject in the future. Hopefully this is coherent to anyone other than me, and isn't too redundant/repetitive.

Honestly, I went on much longer than I expected to. I thought I'd be in and out, but ended up rambling a bunch. It almost made me give up altogether with how long it dragged out for, but I powered through! If you read this long, thank you for taking the time to listen, and if you wish to share your own experience or want to ask me questions, my notes and inbox are always open. Take care!

[catcze]

Oh man the brain is not in a good place rn ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

[yllowpages]

conquering my fear of duplicates one follow at a time

[arklayraven]

Doesn't matter how many times I've heard him say this already...It still makes me feel like a shy fool every time. Especially one who is reminded I often suck at showing affection to someone I love. lol ; w;

[lem-argentum]

i think doug would be a rhythm gamer….

[vodkacheesefries]

I keep getting stuck in this whole "man I really hate my boobs and can vividly imagine my quality of life, self confidence, and body image immediately improving upon getting top surgery but what if I don't actually want top surgery and I'm lying to myself" spiral and it's ANNOYING