#because 'obviously no one is sick or we'd hear about it'

[allpiesforourown]

Roommate Binghe would absolutely make the most insanely hilarious Reddit thread that’s so out of touch with reality. I can just hear the comments begging him to give the woman he dates a break and just bend over and fuck his roommate already

That thought is literally what inspired this au for me in my head I had this idea of binghe saying "am I the asshole for not picking my BEST FRIEND OF TEN YEARS over a woman I've been dating for two weeks?" And it's one of those aita posts that have a deceptive title because everyone reads that and goes of course not! Then the actual post is this:

"I (21M) met my best friend (22M) when I was 11 and he was 12. I used to be really weak and scrawny back then, and he saw me getting bullied at the playground and became the first person who ever stood up for me. After that he asked his parents to hire my mom and we could finally move out of poverty. She was really sick at the time and getting a better paying job really helped her get better. I'm saying all this to show how important he is to me and why anyone should understand that he'll always be the most important person in the world to me.

He's also a bit sickly. Nothing severe but he has asthma and picks up illnesses way easier than most people, so I often take care of him.

Recently he said he wanted to meet my girlfriend, so I agreed the three of us should have dinner together at a nice restaurant. She was weirdly quiet the whole time, staring at the two of us talk. When we left it was late, and the night air was making him shiver, so I gave gege my jacket. I thought we'd all head our separate ways from there but my girlfriend got super moody and said it was my job to drive her back too?? I said "I'm not making gege walk back because you want me to drive you home" and she was about to yell at me when gege stepped between us and said I can drop her off and then take us home. It was annoying because she lives in the opposite direction but I agreed.

When we got to her apartment, instead of saying thanks and leaving, she said she wants to talk to me. Obviously I didn't want to leave my friend alone in the car, but he just smiled and said I should say goodnight to my girlfriend. He's always very sweet and indulgent to the people I date, to the point it's a little frustrating.

Once we were alone, she blew up at me, claiming I ignored her all evening. She got mad at me, saying that gege was wearing jeans and a full sleeve shirt while she was wearing a short dress and I gave my jacket to him instead. I explained to her that his immune system is weak so if he caught a chill he'd be sick way longer than if she got a cold.

That was our first argument. She got over it in a few days. but I didn't want her around gege anymore lest she said something about me "picking him over her" and made him feel guilty for no reason.

Afterwards she invited me to be her plus one at her cousin's wedding. I said I'd go but just two days before gege got really sick. I said I'd stay with him, but he insisted I go to the wedding and he'd get someone else to look after him. He mentioned this guy who I absolutely hate and that's when I knew I couldn't leave him in anyone else's care.

Gege's friend is a terrible influence on him. He's an idiot with no brain and a creep who clearly wants to take advantage of him. I absolutely could not leave the two of them alone when he was so vulnerable so I refused to leave him alone even for a few hours. Gege was too feverish to remember the wedding after the first day so he didn't say anything about it.

I was so busy taking care of him, I forgot to tell her I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. I didn't bother picking up my phone until gege was back on his feet and saw about 50 missed calls all from her. When I called her back she was screaming so loud, gege could hear her even though she wasn't on speaker. After I hung up on her, he looked so sad and said he was sorry for being the reason I couldn't go. I told him I didn't even want to go and it was just her cousin, but for the last week he's had a perpetual frown on his usually smiling face. I feel so terrible. I want to tell him it's not his fault, of course I'd choose his HEALTH over a date, but he's really beating himself up about it... I hate that I made him feel that way.

Top comment: THAT'S THE PART YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR???? THAT YOUR GEGE FEELS BAD????????? NOT HOW YOU MISTREATED YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND?????

Second comment: just fuck your best friend instead of making her suffer bro 😭😭

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for having sex with my husband instead of cooking dinner?

Here's what happened.

On Christmas Eve, my siblings drove in from different parts of the state to spend some time with me and our dad. There's not enough room at my house or my dad's house for my siblings & their families to sleep, so they got hotel rooms just a few minutes from my house. We spent all day together until about 3:00 pm. I've been sick, and my siblings were tired, so we agreed that everyone would take a nap and then get back together at 5:30. My siblings went to their hotel, my dad went home, and I got into bed.

Around 5:00 my husband came home. He'd had a hard day with his family and we hadn't seen each other all day and it was Christmas Eve. We started to have sex.

I forgot my siblings were coming. They got to my house at 5:30 and let themselves in. They tried texting and calling me but obviously I didn't answer. We were supposed to start cooking dinner when they arrived, and we were supposed to text my dad to let him know when dinner was ready so he could plan when he was coming over. My siblings didn't start cooking dinner without me because we'd picked a very specific recipe and they didn't have it, only I did. They could have tried though.

They sent one of my nephews up to knock on my bedroom door, but I didn't hear that either. It was 6:30 before I finally heard the phone ring and answered it. They'd been calling me the whole time. I was embarrassed but I thought everything was ok until I came downstairs. My siblings were pissed. They told me they could hear us the whole time, that it was embarrassing to sit there listening with their kids, that I should consider myself lucky they were too polite to burst through my bedroom door, that I'd been an asshole to keep our dad waiting alone in his house on Christmas Eve. They said I knew when they were coming and I should've been ready.

I reminded them that I have been sick and I'm tired and I hadn't seen my husband all day but this just made them angrier. We did cook dinner it was just obviously later than we had planned. My siblings didn't mention what happened to my dad, they didn't bring it up during dinner, but I could tell they were still angry with me.

I think they're TA honestly because they all sat around being mad and waiting for me instead of being more forceful about getting my attention. One little kid knocking on the door and some phone calls was not ever gonna be enough. And they could have cooked without me, they know where the pots and pans are and if they'd googled they could have found a recipe close enough to mine to use.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[thelampisaflashlight]

And there was... two beds, but, unfortunately, you're stuck with me.

So I've mentioned before, and many folks may have discovered through some of my chat posts that I am, in fact, lactose intolerant.

A travesty considering I am both French and Swiss (this is true but it's also so I can make a swiss cheese joke even though, yeah, I don't think swiss cheese comes from Switzerland, get off my dick-), and come from a "cheese goes on pretty much everything" family.

However, my inability to consume dairy has lead to some funny -if not a touch unfortunate- occurrences... at least they've funny to me.

Introduction out of the way, I bring to you, the tale of the worst thing I did while sharing a bed in a hotel room with a friend.

So this was years ago now, but I remember this particular bit quite clearly.

I was visiting a friend of mine (we'll call them Kazoo -a joke that if they see this they will understand- for the sake of brevity) in another city where they were attending university along with our mutual friend (We'll call them Son -another joke they'll understand-) and their mom, because we obviously all couldn't stay in their dorm room, Son's mom rented a hotel room for us all to stay in.

Basically the plan was that we'd all stay in the hotel room the first night, and then on the second night we (Son, Kazoo, and I) would go to Kazoo's dorm and stay there while Son's mom got the hotel room to herself.

Well, the hotel we were staying in this particular time featured a good sized bed and then a sleeper sofa, so the sleeping arrangements worked out as follows: Son and their mom were on the sleeper sofa -since their mom would get the bed the next night all to herself- and Kazoo and I wound up on the bed.

Now, I couldn't tell you exactly what I had for dinner that night, but I can tell you it was pizza adjacent and there was definitely cheese on it, and probably some other milk based desserts involved at some point in the evening.

Point is, my stomach was deeply, deeply unhappy.

However, whilst out and about, you don't really *hear* just how much noise your stomach is making unless it gets really quiet, and it was pretty loud in the city, so aside from a few gurglies, I was fiiiine.

Or so I thought.

We get back to the hotel room, and we're all ready for bed, yeah?

We had to get up at an at least somewhat reasonable time so we could go explore the city the next day, so we all climb into bed late-ish at night, and that first little lapse into complete silence happens.

This is when I feel something brewing.

Something heinous.

I try to will the feeling away, because there is no noise to cover up whatever sound my body was about to make, but it slips out anyway.

The tiniest "frrt" sound in the midst of dead silence.

We all laugh.

It's funny, it's all good.

However.

Laughing makes my stomach contract.

I unleash another squeaky sound from my body, and the problem is, if you know me at all as a person, the funniest goddamn thing to me is total silence followed by a random, brief, sound.

All this to say I trapped myself in an endless loop of laughter, and Kazoo, who was in the bed next to me, absolutely wanted to murder me.

Not because I kept giggling, not even because of the farting itself, no.

No, I found out years later that the main reason they were so steamed about it was because they had gotten up to fart in the hotel's bathroom because they didn't want to gas me out, and had they known I was going to just let it rip like that, they would have just stayed comfortable in bed.

Anyway, I thought about this because I was thinking about what cheese substitutes are good vs bad, 'cause one straight up makes me sick and another one kind of tastes like butter?

Yeah.

The places my mind went.

[butmakeitgayblog]

For the character ask game: 5, 10 and 15 :)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

The Clexa song 🥺 that music is so burned in my brain that I can hear it in my head just looking at pictures of certain scenes. It's pavlovian at this point I hAte it

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

For Clarke, yeah but I know we'd argue a lot 🙄 girlie is that friend who comes to you for advice but takes None Of It. And as a virgo that shit drives me nuts. Like, ok queen 😀 you should've told me you actually only wanted a hype woman to agree with what you already wanted, I could've done that flawlessly 😀 instead I put in some of my best work here 😀 gave you PhD level advice for nothing 😀

For Lexa... ehhhhh. Realistically? Probably not. Nit because I wouldn't want to. I would. But idk if she'd like my loudmouth ass self. And with overly serious people I tend to make a mission to make them laugh, and just don't know if that's her vibe. I think she'd get sick of my shit quick 😅

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Well obviously Clexa. Obviously.

But apart from each other?

Lostia for Lexa. I would've loved to know more about her relationship with Costia (altho highkey would've made me jealous on Clarke's behalf. Ride or die ya know)

I didn't mind Niylah with Clarke. There wasn't a passionate love there, but there was solace and comfort, and if Clarke couldn't have Lexa then I think something like what Niylah had to offer was a good second best. It was good for her emotionally to have someone who would just accept all the broken pieces of Clarke and not try to fix her to her own liking, or be jealous of the fact that she would never be The One for her.

Raven with Anya. That would've been... mmmm. It should've been. I'm not even a huge Ranya shipper, but they deserved time together. Their mutual zero bullshit tolerance? 🔥

Bellamy + Bullet: OTP

Call me crazy, but Gustus and Abby. Idk idk. Idk. Woulda been cute tho

[idk-ilike5sos]

Dear Will,

Before today, it'd been twenty-seven days since I wrote to you last. You’ve never received any of the letters and - as long as I don’t suddenly die before I get the chance to burn them all - you never will. But since eight am, I've already started and torn up five other first-letters-since. I thought it'd be easy to write down how I feel, let everything exist solely as ink on paper, but it's not. I'm learning recently, since you left, that I'm wrong about a lot of things.

This morning I got another letter from Eleven. It's probably the last one I'll get before seeing you both. It's still scary to think that, in a couple of days, we'll be face-to-face again. It's been so long.

One-hundred-and-ninety-two days, at the time I’m writing this. I wonder if it feels like it’s been that long to you.

But, anyway, in that letter, Eleven went over what she usually does: updates me on school, how she's adjusting so well without me, and she lets me know how you're all doing. Joyce likes her new job, Jonathan is stressed about college, and you're painting something you won't let her see.

She told me that you met some girl in California.

I bet she's pretty. She's got the nicest eyes you've ever seen, and you paint them all the time. You've memorized every shape of her face from how much you draw her. She probably has a nice laugh, but you'd tell her it's cute even if she didn't. Everyone loves her and always talks about how kind she is. She's at the top of all her classes. I bet she's popular and a cheerleader or some cliche-equivalent.

I hope she has dark, shoulder-length hair. I hope she has ugly brown eyes. I hope she has a lot of freckles. And I hope she's got "strong cheekbones", as my mom likes to call them. I hope she looks like me.

I know she doesn't. She's probably the complete opposite, which is what hurts even more. Not only do you not like me because I'm a boy, but because of every single little thing about me.

I was in shock when I found out Eleven liked me - because, I mean, it's El, you know?

She's awesome, and I know that. At first, I thought I’d somehow won at life, because I found this incredible girl and everyone kept bringing up how enamoured I was with her. So, I kissed her - and she didn’t even seem disgusted or anything! A little surprised, but not bad surprised, you know?

Then it got even better, because it turned out she liked me back. Isn’t that insane? A girl liked ME. It’s still hard to believe now. Sometimes, I feel like she’s lying every time she signs her letters with “love”.

In the end, I fucked it up anyway. It all started with a lie and I got so caught up in it that I was too scared to start telling the truth. And, contrary to popular belief, the lie that ruined our relationship wasn’t that my nana got sick. It’s that her feelings grew, but mine dissipated because it turns out they were never really there.

So this is me finally telling the truth, even if no one ever gets to hear it.

And the truth is I miss you. I miss us.

When you left, I kept telling myself you'd come back. At night, I'd hold back tears, whispering to myself that you're gonna come back one day. You'll be in Hawkins again, on that old ass couch in my basement - the one only a couple of feet away from me right now. We'd both look a lot older than we did the last time we were here, maybe even older than we do now, but at some point, we'd be back. We'd be as close as we used to be. It'd be like nothing ever changed. And the worst part is, I really believed it would all happen.

But it won't. You're not coming back. You might visit a few times, but eventually, our zero-contact thing will get tiring for you. You'll find a new Party, a better one. And this girl you like is going to be a part of it - because she's perfect, so obviously she loves all the things you love. She loves all the things that we love, that used to be ours.

I'm not angry. I'm trying not to be angry.

It's not easy.

I want you here. I want you with me. I don't want you with that stupid girl.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

Why am I not good enough?

Please, just tell me. I'd do anything to change. I'll be kinder. I'll be smarter. I'll be funnier. I'll give in to Lucas' ideals of popularity. I don't care what. All of it would be worth it.

And if I’m unveiling the truth, I might as well unveil it all. I like you. This letter has probably made that obvious already, but I had to add it. I think I’ve liked you for forever, even if I didn’t realise. Or maybe I didn’t and one day, everything changed. I don't know. Either way, I exist today with that truth. I like you. I like you and not Eleven.

I need you, Will. Even if it’s just as friends, I need you in my life.

I’m really glad you’re not reading this because I sound pathetic. And that’s because I am. I’m a stupid pathetic mess. The basement's a shit hole. My room’s even worse. My grades suck. I never see Dustin, Lucas, or Max outside of school, but I somehow see my family even less. So, I’m more than pathetic. I’m alone. And it’s my own fault.

I think California's been good for you. It got you away from Hawkins. It got you away from me. And it brought you to your dream girl. She must be pretty special. She's lucky. And if it turns out she somehow doesn't like you back, that's on her. She must've lost her mind or never had one in the first place.

If you ever need to talk about it, have a 2,000-mile-away-shoulder to cry on, I'm always waiting by the phone...

Love, Mike

[horce-divorce]

i'm so over this delta 8 shit. like yeah it's better than not having anything but it's not weed and it's not doing the same thing. i miss weed so much. d8 makes me cough so bad, it's weak as hell even when it's really good stuff, and it seemingly has 0 cbd compounds unless you buy the more expensive, cbd added/"live resin" type stuff. it doesn't help my pain at all, and its so much more expensive than weed no matter how you slice it. plus we always need more of it bc it's so weak. those 1g carts from Michigan were lasting Bel and I about 3 days each between the two of us. we go through a whole 2g cart of d8 in that amount of time or less. it's ridiculous.

and the thing is, when i lived here before, yeah, i had like 3 or 4 weedguys i could rotate between to get real stuff anyway. not so anymore. i've been gone for almost 4 years and they've really been cracking down on drugs around here in the interim. it's given the d8 market a massive foothold, but it's seriously been impossible to find a regular weedguy. every time we've almost found a lead, we start hearing about raids or the guy goes MIA. we'd basically either have to drive to the border ourselves at this point, or just cave and use the d8 that's available locally. and we're broke, so we've been doing the latter, obviously lol

weed has been keeping me off a feeding tube for years. my doctors in michigan told me outright to keep using it because they didn't want to prescribe me opioids. and then i move back to the only state in this whole area where weed is still illegal lmao. d8 has been keeping me off a tube lately, but tbqh i don't think it will continue to. my MALS attacks have been getting more frequent (which makes my POTS a lot worse), I'm eating less again, and even when i do manage to eat, it takes so much out of me and is still so painful, I usually end up having to sleep afterwards. i'm losing so much of my day just for having the audacity to feed myself and it's making me depressed again. i'm even on an antidepressant this time!!! it's also helping a little bit with the pain, but not enough to matter in the long run. i'm still gonna end up on a tube at this rate.

i'm also just sick of living in wisconsin so that makes me cranky, too. i love who i live with, being with my boyfriend and my roommate is great, but i've spent like 16 years living in wisconsin against my will already and somehow I KEEP fucking ending up back here, always against my will, and it's always pissed me off, but now it ALSO has the audacity to be the one (1) state in the whole area that won't let me have the one medication all my doctors have agreed is saving my life. every other state touching us, on every single side, has weed. canada has weed. 24 fucking states have legalized it. but no, wisconsin has to stick it's heels in the mud and keep that boot on our necks at ANY cost, especially over a change that would benefit literally everyone and increase revenue overall. i fucking hate it here.

america as a whole needs to get it's head out of it's ass about pain management. not just cannabis, but opioids and any other alternatives, too. but of course, the cruelty is the point. they want us to be suffering. they want to torture us. they want us to be stuck in ineffective health management loops until we die. more profit for insurance companies and hospitals, less "handouts" needed back, less conscientious objectors and protestors and political dissidents to be bothersome, less noisy disabled voices calling for justice in the world.

i am determined to keep trying to manage my MALS for as long as I can without getting surgery and, hopefully, without being on opioids (not because I buy into the fearmongering, but because of how strict the rules are about being prescribed them, about the lists you end up on, the random piss tests, and all the other bureaucratic crap that comes along with it). and if we end up staying here long-term, then yeah I will be doing everything i can to try and get weed legalized here to.

but i'm just pissed. and tired. i'm sick of having to fight for my stupid little life from every single facet, like, i'm fighting for my life and kicking screaming throwing up etc and it barely even amounts to a squeak in the grand scheme of things.

welp. too bad. i'm surviving out of spite. oh, i don't matter? cool, then it won't matter if I stay alive a bit longer and keep taking those pithy handouts, i guess! thanks! 🤪

[estellardreams]

Has anyone ever tried to rewrite Sonic Heroes? I feel like there's a lot to work with on the concept, but the execution... There's an issue here.

And it's especially present with the "One team fights another team" boss fights. The reasons they fight each other are so arbitrary it physically hurts me.

If they're going to remake the game, they should at least fix that because it's probably the most glaring issue story wise... Along with character writing but that was expected. So what if, and hear me out on this one...

Neo Metal Sonic manipulated everyone to divide their forces from behind the scenes?

So the way this'll work is, before the boss fights itself, we'd get a cutscene showing the group we're playing as about to enter the next level until they see the other team in the distance. Just as they're about to greet them, they overhear that team badmouthing their group before leaving.

(If Neo can figure out how to shapeshift, I'm sure he can figure out how to duplicate himself too using holographic versions. Not to mention the replication of voices as the doubles, he's done it in IDW before he can certainly do it again.)

And it happens on the other side as well, as Neo badmouths the other team before leaving, leading to a confrontation between both sides as they angrily accuse each other of saying horrible things.

It isn't until the Chaotix, in their story, free Eggman that they figure out what actually happened: That Metal Sonic went rogue, upgraded himself, locked away Metal, and was gathering bio-data to use it to become the most powerful machine ever and take over the world.

So the Chaotix head back and manage to clear up the issues before Team Sonic, Rose, and Dark start fighting again. And then Neo finally reveals himself as the one behind it all.

Doesn't that sound more interesting? We'd tie into the overarching plot while focusing on each character's individual stories.

Now... I'm going to give an example of Neo's powers at work, using Team Rose and Team Sonic as our examples.

Team Sonic's Route:

*Team Sonic walking nearby.*

*Neo shifting into Team Rose.*

Cream: What now, miss Amy?

Amy: Now, we just hand this emerald over to Eggman. He'd absolutely appreciate having something this valuable.

Big: Exactly. We need to work with him so we can get back our friends.

Amy: *grumbling* loathsome traitors...

Cream: What was that, miss Amy?

Amy: Oh, nothing Cream. It's just... I'm sick of Sonic always stealing the spotlight with no regard for anyone else! Like, who can stand that guy?! He's so narcissistic it's unbelievable!

Cream: Yeah... Tell me about it. Makes me confused as to why Tails and Knuckles even follow him around. Tails is obviously the smart one, but why is he so attached to someone so vain?

Big: Don't get me started on Knuckles. He's just a flat out idiot. Look at him! He's stuck on an island for months on end, and it seems like his intelligence is just flat out dwindling.

Cream: And where's the sympathy? They're just so aggressive, it makes me sick to my stomach.

Amy: Y'know... Maybe we should go. We don't have any time to waste.

*Neo (discuised as Team Rose) leaves.*

Knuckles: Oh chaos...

Tails: That... W-Why...?

Sonic: *long pause*. Maybe... We need to rethink our friendship with them if they're talking like this about us.

Tails: Agreed.

Knuckles: Focus now on Eggman, and if we see them again...

Sonic:... Okay, fine. We'll knock some sense into them.

Knuckles: Exactly.

Tails: Let's go.

Team Rose's Route:

*Neo shifting himself into team Sonic.*

*Team Rose coming around the corner.*

Sonic: Ha! Have you seen how ridiculous Amy is? I'm kinda shocked that she's with a tiny bunny and a big cat.

Tails: Yeah, it's like they wanna fail in rescuing their friends.

Tails, to Knuckles: You... Do know where you put them, right?

Knuckles: Of course I do. Chocola and Froggy are locked up. They can't escape so easily.

Knuckles: And to think Cream cares about her Chao so much when she's risking their safety by bringing them along?

Tails: Don't get me started on Big and Froggy. They're just flat out annoying. Also, why fishing? That feels incredibly unproductive.

Sonic: *long sigh* Guys, let's just get outta here and continue figuring out a way to stop Eggman...

*Neo (discuised as Team Sonic) leaves.*

Cream: *trying not to cry.*

Big: *visibly upset.*

Amy: How dare they?! I thought we were friends! Those... Jerks.

Cream: Wh-What now...?

Amy: We track them down and make them pay. We're going to rescue Chocola and Froggy, and they're going to get a beat-down.

Both reasons why they're fighting:

Team Sonic believes that Team Rose have been hiding their distain towards them and are secretly working with Eggman.

Team Rose thinks that Team Sonic have kidnapped their friends Chocola and Froggy and absolutely despise them for being weak and pathetic and unable to defend themselves.

The confrontation:

*Both sides finding each other again.*

Sonic: Amy?! Why are you here?!

Amy: *summons her hammer.* Sonic! Give us back our friends!

*She slams her hammer down, forcing Sonic to dodge.*

Sonic: You're friends?! Why? I thought you were working for Eggman! All of you!

Amy: If you think that, you're even more idiotic than I expected!

Cream: Where's Chocola Chao?! WHERE IS HE?!

Tails: We don't know where he is!

Cream: Liar! I heard you all knew exactly where you hid them!

Tails: Why should we tell you then, traitor?!

Big: Hey! No one accuses my friends of being traitors!

Knuckles: So what?! You think this is funny?

Big: I need my friend back. Where is he?

Knuckles: We don't know!

Big: Stop lying already, all of you!

Amy: *falls back* Oh... That's it. If you all aren't going to listen, we'll make you.

*Fight begins.*

So what do you think? I think Heroes has a ton of potential to be rewritten into a great story! This is just an example of what I mean.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

my son of the driest wit

my son is eleven

one of my lucky numbers

he has my eyes and my sensitivity and a mind like mine

he sings with me and he's one of my greatest fans

he tells me his friends think I'm cool which is nice

kids are really honest and I trust them more than most

he's also sick this week and keeps surprising me

because when you're sick everyone turns into a child

and sometimes he's eleven or sometimes he's younger

when the symptoms are overwhelming

he feels things with such intensity and I remind him

that we are running gaming computers in our heads

so we get better graphics but it also takes more energy

luckily I said it in a way that makes sense to him

he likes his neurodiverse kind of brain now

didn't so much like it when it made him so different

but he has a group of friends that love his humor

and he constantly surprises me with how he thinks

today I got to tell him the story of finding out about him

he's always known he was a surprise in my plans

but I've always told all of them they came from the stars

and I was lucky they chose me as a mom

because he's sick he wants me near

he's not really a cuddly guy and gets overstimulated easily

but when he's sick that all disappears

he wants to lay next to me and hold my hand

and so I told him that I'd tell him that story

what was going on in my life and how

his father and I broke up after three months

and knew we just did not work as partners

but ended up finding out we'd created something

I told him about a man I loved and had gone to visit

before I found out and confirmed I had a passenger

he enjoyed hearing about it and told me

as I was telling him about different adventures

me and this man had gotten ourselves into

that he could imagine it in his mind

I think he was seeing me as a different character

not just as the mother he loved but the woman I was

before I decided to change my life completely

before I decided to change myself completely

it was the role I was going to take the most seriously

and I told him about how sometimes

you can love two things just as desperately

but you end up having to choose just one

I hadn't told him about this before

he wasn't really old enough to grasp the complexity

and I underestimated him even tonight

I told him how I'd wrote this email to him that was

at least a small novel about all my feelings

and I've obviously always had plenty of them

I linked a song and I think put lyrics and just

tore my heart out and smeared it all over my computer

and how this freaking guy wrote back

"you got four days"

yeah, that was it and that was a common dynamic

and he laughed at that because he has a friend

that's also a girl with a lot of feelings and a lot of words

to tell him all about them and he doesn't always

know what to do with all of it but he still likes to listen

I think he liked seeing me like that too

he likes to see me as all my selves which I'm still learning

I kind of thought I was supposed to play

this perfect mother role so that's something to think about

I told him I had four days to visit because this man

was leaving to go to war in a desert like his own dad had

so I went and visited and that love we couldn't quite

figure out but always had was still there

and to my son I said, still kind of bewildered to know

even though I lived it and I knew it but to say it

somehow gave it a new meaning and a new feeling

"when I told him I was pregnant he said something to me..."

and this kid didn't even miss a beat and left me laughing

"did he offer to buy you some plan B?"

and he said it with curiosity and not a lick of judgement

I don't even think he knew why I was laughing

fuck I'm still laughing because it's so logical

and when I got myself together I shook my head

and told him that the man offered to help me raise him

I'd already framed the whole thing kind of like a folk story

as a joke to keep everything light and upbeat

and I let him sit with that a moment but he didn't say anything

and then I went on to tell him about how

I made the choice for him because he had friends

and family and a life that he'd leave to come here

and it wouldn't have made him happy back then

at least that is what I had decided and I knew

I had to at least try to make a family with his dad

that also wasn't quite ready but we all

did the best with what we had to work with

there was good and bad and ugly and it didn't work

and the kids are very aware of why their father and I

just did not have the same way of thinking about anything

except how much we loved them and wanted to give them

the life we never got to have as kids because our parents

also didn't have what they needed to make things work

in a way that gave us all what we needed at their age

and to this day I get to watch my children trust the world

with arms wide open and make friends and take chances

he wanted to hear more so I told more stories

and it was fun because I got to see things in a whole new way

I got to tell him about my poetry and a loyal reader

that turned out to be a best friend holding my hand

and he thought that was the coolest thing in the world

for someone to do for his mother that he now knew more of

it's a really cool story and I like being part of it

and that's kind of a new role

[kayzure89x]

So for the remainder of the year I have decided to use this more, and to write down some blogs and whatnot, what my blogs will be about? Who knows. A lot of things. Thoughts, and other such stuff.

It's just one of those things now isn't it? May as well open up this post with my disdain of imbeciles. Recently I was dating an imbecile who for the purpose of this blog I will name Doof, he let his friend control and blackmail him, and this imbecile that I was dating, called him his "Friend" and that when I brought up issues about his friend, he'd use the bullshit excuse that he's allowed to have friends but this person was no friend, whenever Doof would spend time with me, his so called friend would throw a hissy fit that Doof wasn't paying him attention, and then would blackmail him into spending time with him by threatening to cut him off his streaming services. So everytime that would happen Doof would abandon me posthaste to spend time with his blackmailer. Without fail EVERY SINGLE time he would spend time with me, the blackmailer, would always make his presence known. What is worse is Doof became controlling to me, telling me to "Don't start" and when I would say well maybe if you acted accordingly I wouldn't have to bring it up to which he would again still try and control me with quotes like "Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut" or "Maybe you just shouldn't" perhaps if you acted accordingly you moron I wouldn't have to.

Amidst other things, like there's times where in which I was feeling poorly and sick, but did you think Doof paid me any attention or checked in on me like a caring loving boyfriend? Ahahaha did he fuck!

Oh the humanity, he was so gullible, so easily manipulated by his friend and it really came to the point where there was never any time for me. It got to the point that even during the times in which he was in a discord call with me, you'd hear him just randomly chatting away, to no one, but then it'd dawn that he was chatting with his friend on xbox and it made me realise he chatted more to his friend than he would to me during calls. But he would always make up absurd excuses like he doesn't chat because he doesn't want to make me mad. Mad? What? Mad? How the... ? Being silent versus chatting? Which one is going to really make me mad?

Obviously this was before I was reconnected with the love of my life, but that's another appreciative post away from the likes of this one. So let's get back on track shall we?

Doof and his priorities are all messed up, and he cannot see where he failed as a lover, and where he continues to fail. After dealing with my gaslighter, Scott I am more aware to the bullshit tactics that people pull. Such as Doof, he tried to pin blame on me, and claim he wasn't a failure as a lover. Let's see, you prioritize a blackmailer who you falsely call a friend who wants your attention every waking moment of every day, who always takes you away from people you're dating or in a relationship with and you think it's okay? Nah it's not. The only times we'd argue is due to me pointing out the bullshit with his friend.

So I was done. I left. I deserved more. This wasn't an relationship of equality, this was a relationship of diversity. In fact it wasn't much a relationship at all.

How sad. I didn't fail. Doof failed. And will always fail should he continue his friendship with that person because despite this person who is a gay male as well having a boyfriend he always had to have Doof to himself. How sad, too bad. Poor Doof.

[sims-inmymouth]

Delilah Five - Ep. Eight

Trigger Warnings: Severe illness (described), violence (against zombies, pictured, described), blood (pictured, described).

January 22, 20XX

Tamah is sick. Like, really sick. She can’t stop coughing (I can hear it from the kitchen!) and her fever got really high. We checked her over for bites again—absolutely none. We don’t have to worry about evil zombie Tamah, just really-sick-with-what-Hossannah-thinks-is-pneumonia-Tamah. Hossannah has tried all manner of home cures and practically tore up the house looking for medicines stronger than ibuprofen. We don’t have any. When we went to check on her earlier, she was curled up in bed and mumbling to herself. She's been sick since, shoot, I think the nineteenth? She's had a fever that whole time, but it was REALLY bad this morning. Hossannah told me that if hospitals were still operational, we'd be rushing Tamah there.

I had to go out with Hossannah to look for medicines. Specifically antibiotics. Theodora decided to stay home and look after Tamah, since she was pretty delirious when we left. She seems to be doing a little better now, but her fever spiked again. Besides, Theo is still recovering after her burns. Hossannah was worried about Theodora while we scavenged for medicine. (I think they were friends before this whole thing, because they seem really close.)

Hossannah knew of an abandoned clinic that used to have a pharmacy, so we started there. We left not even like ten minutes after we realized just how sick Tamah was. Is.

There weren't any zombies on the way to the clinic. I had my fixed up radio to listen to the storm trackers and zom alerts. The lady on the radio, she said her name was Rebekah, said that there really weren't many zombies nearby. Not to mention the massive snowstorm that was pounding New Willow Creek. The weather was only going to get worse from here, she said.

The clinic was surrounded by wild chickens and feral dogs. They looked cold, scared. I had some crackers in my pocket, so I fed them what I had. I hope they’re doing okay. If the circumstances weren’t so dire (and I knew how to spot rabies) I would’ve tried to haul some back to base.

The clinic itself was old and peeling. There were holes in the walls. The bottom-most floor, which used to have glass walls apparently, was completely blown out and supported by nothing but beams. Once we were in, we could see the outside. It was really weird.

This meant that we could see the zombies. TONS of them. Doctor zombies, nurse zombies, patient zombies. It was... hard to look at to say the least. I don't even think these people came to the hospital because they had the zombie virus. One of the zombies looked heavily pregnant (how that works, shoot, don't ask me). Another one had its leg in a cast. Another one had an arm bent all out of shape, whether that happened before or after infection is beyond me.

I didn't want to go in. My heart was racing and I thought I would throw up. Hossannah didn't look so happy either. She had a gun, a gift from her father she told me once. She shot the first zombie, a doctor, point blank in the stomach. It was the first time I've actually ever seen her shoot a zombie. Or anything, for that matter. Tamah obviously kills lots of zombies, and I've seen Theodora shoot zombies and wild birds with a single bullet. But never Hossannah. She didn't say anything while she did it. It was just how it is.

It was easier killing zombies that I haven't seen as a human first, I guess. I shot a doctor and the zombie with the mangled arm. I don't really remember much of it, honestly. I just pulled the trigger and I wasn't in danger anymore.

We had finally cleared the way to get to the pharmacy. The stairs to the second and third floors were broken and looked.. unsafe to be honest. We got really lucky that the pharmacy was on the first floor. It was surprisingly untouched! Hossannah told me on the way home that because of the high zombie concentration, most people went to raid other pharmacies instead. Safer pharmacies. Some of the medicines were expired. We grabbed whatever antibiotics we could find (little orange bottles, a green beaker lookin thing, small jars of medicine). Then, we filled our bags with any other medicine we could carry. I just ran my hand along the shelf and swiped everything into my bag. Hossannah was happy to find some burn cream for Theodora.

The way home was largely uneventful. It was really cold, and it was hard to see. The winds got really bad, and the snowstorm had turned into a blizzard. Rebekah on the radio talked about hypothermia care, which felt equally useful and insulting.

When we got home, Tamah was asleep. We took her temperature, and it was really high. Like, 103 high. We forced her to take the medicine we found. An hour later, her temperature went down by a lot. She's still coughing and weak, but Hossannah thinks she's going to be okay. I hope she's okay.

Now that things have calmed down, and I'm writing all this out, I can't really stop thinking about the zombies again. I wonder what their lives were like when they were alive. If they had stayed that way, maybe. The doctors could've cured the virus, maybe. Eh, probably not. But they'd go home and be with their families. The pregnant-lookin zombie would have her baby, the injured zombies would heal.

I wish things could've been different.

I'm going to go milk the cows. If I don't think, I can feel better.

Signed,

Ruth Givens.

[the-mortifying-ordeal-of]

I started to get mad at her today: after setting such a precedent of over-communicating and letting me set the pace, wtf happened? What the fuck would have happened if I wasn't on my period? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck? I'm obviously mad at myself for not speaking up, not stopping it, not saying no, for acting like I was into it (WAS I into it..??) but she never fucking asked. The one time she asked, as she kissed down my stomach, I know I didn't say no but I did redirect. I remember flipping over on top of her at least twice to try to slow us down.. I did try. And I did eventually start joking about her blue balls, warning her that we'd need to stop soon because her sister was on the way over.. but seriously, what if I hadn't been on my period? What if her sister hadn't been on the way? What the fuck would I have let happen? Would she have ever checked in? And why the FUCK hasn't she checked in yet afterward? Just a few texts about missing me and a bunch of normal chats about our days, but she hasn't acknowledged her hand down my pants, her mouth all over my chest, her fucking tongue in my ear and her thigh between my legs. I never touched her, maybe skimmed my hands over her chest while pressing into her shoulders as I kissed her neck, but how the fuck did she not notice I wasn't making any moves to reciprocate? How did she not notice I was trying to slow down, stop, back off? Why the fuck, how the fuck, what the fuck. What do I do now?

Ugh. I got my therapy appointment moved up to tomorrow at 12:30. I've hiked 7 miles in two days and that felt really good - took my music and stepped along to the beat. Cancelled movie night tonight with her and her sister but otherwise have kept plans, gotten out of the house, pushed through. I don't know the difference between flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and just uncomfortable memories/rumination, but I keep hearing her panting into my ear and I want to claw my skin off. I know there were things she did that felt ok, and I remember smiling at I don't think I was faking that?? but I know I don't ever want to do that again and I think it's more than just embarrassment/vulnerability hangover. I really don't know what I wanted, what felt good, which of my feelings are real. I know she commented that I was "wiggly" and she liked it because it made it clear that I was enjoying myself. I don't fucking understand anything. I didn't want that to happen. I don't think I'm attracted to her. I didn't feel comfortable saying no or stopping.

Fucking hell. How do I play this? What do I tell her? Right now I want to cancel all my plans with her, call into work sick for two weeks, and wallow. While hiking at the lake, I kept thinking about ways to hide my body in a way that wouldn't traumatize anyone. I thought about wrecking my car while driving. I thought about the relative lethality of various overdoses. I've taken to using my nails to really dig in and feel the sting as a way to ground me or shock me out of thoughts I don't want to be having. I did have an intentional and very satisfying Freddy's binge tonight. I just want to.. I don't even know. I want to yell at her, accuse her, punish her, play the victim. I also don't want her to be sad, or feel shamed, or fucking apologize. Ugh I hate her fucking apologies, all contrite scripted bullshit. It's my fucking fault I'm not normal and can't consent. It's my fucking fault I'm vulnerable and misleading and feral and self-absorbed. If she'd had that moment with anyone else, it would have been fun and romantic and sexy and free. I'm the problem, the stick in the mud, the uptight liar.

I don't want to be physically affectionate anymore. I'm worried I'm too flirty, people probably judge me at work as being inappropriate and unprofessional. My coworker was probably trying to arrange for a date. I am bad at reading social situations, I am inappropriate, I am rude. I snapped at my grandma today for talking shit on my wardrobe last weekend, after my mom had already jabbed her for not being affirming. I watched my grandma get defensive, and sad, and I felt awful. I'm just trash. I'm mean, immature, dysfunctional, selfish trash. My ex DID know me best and he didn't feel safe around me, didn't trust me, and everyone around me minimized him because they didn't see the full picture like he did. He was right. I'm inconsistent and selfish and judgmental and I don't communicate clearly.

I dunno what's left to do. I could do meds, but I already eat ok and exercise and sleep well and have social connection and a stable job and good health so wtf could meds do besides give me side effects and also still not address the cognitive warfare I assault myself with on a regular basis. Would confidence or positive affect save me? What's missing? I'm fundamentally mortified by who I am.. can pills fix that? I don't trust or believe external validation, I'm not satisfied by or comfortable in my relationships, I feel so fundamentally lonely and broken and wrong. This fucking bullshit with my best friend, the awful breakup with my ex, the loss of my dad.. I'm not holding it together. I'm surrounded by loss and heartbreak and profound human error and it's not cute. I want out of the way. I want to curl up in a ball on the sidelines where no one notices me. I don't want to die, I just want to go somewhere I won't be perceived, won't be judged, won't be found lacking. I want away from people because I'm bad and don't belong here. I'm happy in the woods, alone in my apartment, doing work that doesn't involve other people. It's being perceived and found lacking that is absolutely killing me. I am a black hole and I'm exhausted trying to fill it.

Gonna take an appropriate amount of Benadryl and read romance stories until I pass out. Will try to work tomorrow, but might cancel some meetings. I don't want to be exposed right now. Who cares if I'm perceived as flaky or useless or unreliable. Something should be better than nothing and part of me knows that total avoidance will make it worse.

No fuckin clue what I do with my friend. Maybe act like it didn't happen since she clearly isn't going to ask about it, avoid being alone with or near her, maybe she'll take the hint and we can go back to casual hangouts. No sleepovers, limited alone time, keep it casual and superficial. I'm not doing deep with her, she fuckin threw me off the high dive and my dumb ass hadn't packed my floaties. That's my bad for not telling her I can't swim but her bad for not asking and also I HAVE LITERALLY TOLD HER I CAN'T SWIM so was she confused by my swimming jokes? My increasing time spent in the shallow end? Where the fuck did we miss each other? And why the fuck does my drowning behavior have to fucking mimic pleasure? Lying manipulative traumatized confusing misleading bullshit. Ugh. Taking my pills and going to bed. My therapist can figure that out tomorrow.

[redwinterroses]

Hey! thanks for the shoutout, Shade! <3

Everything Turns To Gold (link here) is a semi-AU fic by myself and @darkleweather that starts right after the dragon fight in Empires s1. Really all you'd need to know is:

a) Jimmy, the Codfather, lost the cod head he wore as a symbol of his office (? lore got weird later) to Joel, which caused everyone to end up in, well, the End. Fighting the Dragon

b) Fighting and killing the dragon was a Controversial Thing at that point in the story, because a demon named Xornoth had started haunting the server and several Empires members had an inkling that killing the dragon might unleash the demon's full power.

c) sure enough, they killed the dragon and Xornoth showed up and started infecting the world with red nether corruption.

Our story kinda split off from there (iirc we actually started writing it like, the day that Pix's dragon fight episode dropped. If you watch nothing else, watch that vid, his editing of the dragon fight is Epic with a capital E). I would like to think that with that super basic background knowledge, the fic is at least comprehensible -- though obviously I'm gonna advocate for watching at least Pix's season ;) Copper King my beloved.

Everything Turns to Gold is an epic fantasy with themes of found family, hope in the darkest places, and the idea that ultimate power, even Pure Good power, can be destructive. The seed for the story was "What if Jimmy had a hero arc...?"

Also including: Wither Trio forever, Copper King doing copper king stuff, wing!fic, sick!fic, h/c, Seablings beloved, getting really emotional about a character named Sausage, worldbuilding galore, and angst with a happy ending. :D

It gets that happy ending, (really and truly it does. I swear) but it does take a bit to get there. General trigger warnings for fandom-typical violence and gore, a bit of body horror, and some threads of overcoming religious trauma that we actually didn't realize were there until Shade pointed it out lol.

There's a good deal of fanart on my blog under the #everything turns to gold tag (and also, I think, the #red's roses tag), and we even got a TV Tropes page at one point -- though, there be spoilers, so be warned :D

If you read, we'd love to hear from you!

(About your tags in a post about fanfiction)

As someone who’s never watched the Empires SMP (apart from the Hermitcraft crossover) would I still be able to read Everything Turns To Gold or do you need prior fandom knowledge to understand it?

Hmm. Well, the thing is that Empires season 1 is really lore heavy in terms of who had what kind of roles, but there's probably only a really basic amount you'd need actually summarized to understand the plot? I suspect it would come off quite differently without being used to the characters and setting but I'd say the plot itself is probably still quite enjoyable, as long as you know the key players. Then again, definitely depends on what kind of person you are in terms of reading and what you prioritize in a story. I read it having only watched one POV and seen people post about stuff from others, so I think I can vouch for at least not needing Much knowledge to get what's going on.

Tagging @redwinterroses to elaborate more on her awesome fic (and perhaps also summon the cowriter whose URL I can't quite remember, alas)

[justmeandmysickies]

IRL story

little note so you understand the timeline: my partner's birthday was july 4th, the party started july 3rd and the both of us drank something together (unrelated to the birthday) on july 2nd

We'd had one bottle of vodka on Saturday - not enough to get me hungover at all and I expected my partner to have a slight headache maybe but nothing more. Half a bottle of vodka each is usually not enough to take either of us down.

The next morning however, I woke up to my partner making sounds in the bathroom. Before I could investigate further they emerged and told me, that they were feeling really sick (along with a pounding headache of course) and that they had felt like they were going to throw up but didn't.

We then cuddled in bed for a while and I could definitely tell they weren't feeling well since they were uncharacteristically quiet and sluggish. A couple of minutes later they stopped answering me altogether and I figured they'd fallen asleep until suddenly they got up - they were pretty calm so I didn't think much of it until I heard a cough followed by the distinct sound of liquid hitting liquid. I got up to rub their back but since I was a little taken aback by the situation I didn't think of holding back their hair.

The spell was over pretty quickly, every retch productive. They still didn't look better after, still super pale. My partner isn't someone to sit around in the bathroom when nauseous so they blew their nose and got up, despite still obviously feeling unwell. At that point I wasn't really worried because even though this seemed like a pretty intense hangover for only half a bottle of vodka, this was definitely not the first time they ever threw up after a night of drinking.

We went back to bed and they drank quite a bit of water since they were (understandably) thirsty. That turned out to be an awful idea though as just a couple of minutes later their stomach started to gurgle ominously. They sprinted to the bathroom where they promply threw up again. Their vomit was mostly clear since they were almost only bringing up the water they'd just had. I was more prepared this time and got right to rubbing their back and holding their hair out of their face and the line of fire. Once again every retch was productive until a last gush made my partner straighten up, announcing the end of the spell. I was worried but when they turned around they actually smiled, happily reporting that they were feeling so much better now. I was obviously relieved to hear that.

We still had some errands to run for the party in the evening so we decided to do that. Before we started getting ready, my partner once again drank quite a bit of water. We had just stepped into the hallway as my partner stilled and then turned around to sprint to the bathroom. Of course I followed. This time they were really only bringing up the water. I have never seen such clear vomit, only at the end they threw up a bit of bile. They had never been this sick from a hangover before, not even able to keep down water. I was unbelievably worried because I was convinced there had to be another reason for why they were feeling so awful.

I offered to run the errands by myself so they could sleep/rest but they insisted on coming along. So we left the house and did what we had to do and then decided to take a little walk. Fresh air always helps me with hangovers so I was hoping they'd feel better too but you could see that that wasn't the case. They were pale, moving slowly and barely talking. So we went back.

Luckily they fell asleep in my arms pretty soon after and felt loads better when they woke up. They were still wary about drinking water but after a couple careful sips they found that it seemed to stay down.

They ended up having a great party - maybe a little too great because they got promptly back into the vodka game. That along with quite a number of other drinks lead to them hugging the toilet bowl once again at the end of the night. But of course I was there to hold the hair and and rub their back. And because they threw up all the alcohol in their system before they went to bed, they woke up feeling completely fine. So I'd say that's a win.

Ps: we went out to drink again yesterday and this morning I was the one who ended up puking, luckily only once though lol - I like to say the two of us are a chaos couple and maybe y'all can see why haha

[forbidding-souda]

omg i just crawled out of hell istg 😭

this is rin btw.

but i got so sick last week... your girl (feeling feminine lately) had walking pneumonia, a uti, and a week long migraine at the same time. i was suffering 😭

but i am BACK and feeling OKAY. my body still feels like a noodle but at least my pain's gone 😭

have you been alright??? do you have any gossip on hand that you're comfy to tell?? 👀

also remember to take care of yourself and eat and drink and take your meds and all that good stuff, you amazing, beautiful motherfucker :)

DAMN THAT SOUNDS CRAZY ASF..... I'm happy you're feeling better. And I HAVE been taking my meds mwahaha. I was partying like all weekends for the last three weeks and I'd start taking my meds at like wack ass inconsistent times and it was poopoo because it just made my anxiety go out of the roof it was so disabling I hated it.

Gossip below the cut

If you want to hear about gossip I can talk about the lore between me and the scene. Basically I was in the talking stage with this one guy who is in the most popular band and we were like goofy friends / flirting like cray and then one day we both just stopped LMFAO it was just random like I think we were busy or didn't have time to talk tbh i don't remember /srs. And then like a few weeks later my best best friend in the scene was like you won't believe this... I'm dating [him] and sent photos of them together I was like oh my fucking god (and very very many months ago they were like "remember when I said I had a crush on him" and tbh I completely forgot I was like oops). It gets better / worse. So they're like a very happy couple and they're hella cute tbh it's amazing but they keep making jokes about how he's straight dating a bi androgynous girl and I'm like ooohhhhh my god she doesn't know he was just talking to a guy. He never told her we were talking btw. I'm like gosh. It's been five months since they got together and me and her have been hanging out more, especially since her birthday was like two weeks ago... and he was there... and I think it was the first time he's spoken to me since we stopped talking (GoOD, obviously) and it was when my friend wasn't with us. And it freaked me out: I've decided I hate talking to him without my friend there. I was also in line at one of his shows four days ago and he was talking to his friends before walking backstage again and he specifically said hi to me and only me I was like oh my fucking god I'm gonna kill myself.

Anyway at that show ^ me and my husband talked in public for like ? the first time. He's in one of the popular bands. There was a girl following him around like the entire time and it was stressing me out because they went outside for a second but I wasn't about to follow him and they were just smoking I was like word. NO ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY, a few weeks ago the band members had like a joke conference thing and afterwards I gave the singer of my husbands band a bag of chips bc he was hungry and I was high off my motherfucking ass and I was just standing there as they were talking like :) where it would have been awkward but I was too high to realize IT WAS SO FUNNY. The singer of his band is like lowkey rude but I think that's just because we're acquaintances now and I'm not just like a random fan. The drummer of his band is such a sweetheart he is like the most amazing person ever I hung out with him the most at the birthday party. I've never met the bassist or even hung out with him before he's so mysterious (and my best friend from since middle school has a crush on him so I'm like hmmmmmm).

Also at the birthday party on of the guys from another band was like ??? flirting with me I think ??? he let me finish his cig and shit and when (we were at the beach btw) I laid down on my stomach he was like "your tattoo is so pretty" as if it's not a basic ass tattoo. It's on my shoulder and it's like a classic outline of a old-style clown. We'd also smile at each other and whenever someone would tell a joke he'd look directly at me. Tbh I'm forgetting if there was everything else but. The crazy part about this is it's one of my friends ex so I'm wondering if he's being nice because he's seen us together (which that part is not an assumption, he has seen us together before) ???. Idk I texted her about it and she was like that's weird asf and he was probably flirting with you but I don't want to associate with him and I assured her that she is more important and I'm not gonna do nothing and then five minutes later I was like can I smoke his cigs though and she was like yes I respect that grind. LMFAO he just let me smoke one yesterday.

This isn't gossip it's me gushing but this really attractive friend of mine that I'm taking to shows as if he isn't like a white boy from UC Berkeley and he is such an extrovert he will walk up to random people and introduce himself and talk to them and !!! whenever he did he would tell people about me and bring them over to meet me and when he does he uses she/her on me and I swear to god when I first heard him say that it felt as if sunshine rained down on me. I hope I didn't stare at him with stars in my eyes because that's what it felt like. That's all LOL.

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD

[awkward-teabag]

I’m not buying it, especially when your location in BC determines if/when you can get a test. When it takes days of calling in and being on hold for several hours each day before you can make an appointment to be tested, that’s drastically going to affect who is able and willing to get a test.

Vancouver and Fraser Health have a lot of testing locations where people can drop in and get a test, and granted that’s the area where a good chunk of BC’s population is, but Vancouver Island, Interior, and Northern Health almost entirely restrict testing to appointments only. I can’t speak for Interior or Northern Health but Vancouver Island Health is extremely limited and has barely seen any increase in testing availability despite the government’s claims that testing has increased across the board.

From the BC CDC’s website, here are the new tests per day numbers:

Fraser has been doing far more testing since the start of August.

As has Vancouver.

Even Northern has seen a slight increase.

And then we have Vancouver Island which has increased testing by ~50 whopping tests for the entire Island and the second largest city in the province.

And then finally Interior which is all over the place but the number of tests is actually going down.

I’m tired of all the coverage of Covid in BC focusing almost entirely on Vancouver and Fraser Health regions. Just because Vancouver is the largest city doesn’t mean it’s the entirety of BC and it leads people to believe all of BC is the exact same as Vancouver when it’s definitely not.

The only way to get tested in Victoria is to get a GP’s referral or call 811 and have them refer you. Few people have a GP in Victoria so most people call 811 which is swamped the instant the phone lines are open. You can call right as they open at 8:30AM and you’re lucky if you’re only on hold for an hour—a lot of people report being on hold for several hours until they have to hang up because they have work/meetings and can’t sit on hold the whole day.

Speaking of which, the moment the call centre closes at around 4:30PM, all calls are disconnected and you’ll have to try again the next day you’re able to be on hold for several hours.

Even if you do get through, the people at 811 screen out most people and only refer people for testing if they’re visibly sick. If you feel a bit iffy or you’re concerned, they’ll tell you to just wait and phone back if you get sicker. Even if you were exposed to someone who the government has confirmed has/had Covid, you are told to isolate and only phone for a testing appointment if you get visibly sick.

We’ve known since around March that one of the reasons why this coronavirus is so dangerous is because so many people carry it and spread it with few to no symptoms, yet testing in Victoria has stuck with the emergency measures from March that only visibly sick people are to be tested. That was fine when there was an emergency rush to keep hospitals from being overwhelmed, but that’s not okay now. Especially when the province has opened up so much so the chances of exposure are higher than they were back in March and April.

And even if you can get an appointment, there’s only one testing location in Victoria and it closes at 4:30PM. That’s fine for people who are able to work from home or take time off, but Victoria is a tourist town thus has a higher than average number of retail and restaurant employees even now who are unable to make that in a timely fashion. Especially when the nightmare of trying to get an appointment is taken into account—it’s hard to sit on hold for hours when you’re on shift most of the time the call centre is open and you can’t have your phone beside you while you work.

I can’t speak for the rest of BC but Victoria has not seen any improvement in testing since testing was first implemented and I am tired of people and media claiming the opposite and that Victoria has managed to keep the number of cases down. The only reason why Victoria (and Vancouver Island Health in general) has had low numbers is because testing is not readily available and accessible. So many in this city have reported feeling sick or are concerned they may have it but be asymptomatic yet are unable to get tested, and without a positive test, they can’t always get out of work and don’t know for sure if they should self-isolate or not.

So the Vancouver Sun and BC government can eat my whole ass as they pat themselves on the back about all the great things they’re doing to increase testing and flattening the curve when they are only talking about Vancouver and Fraser Health regions.

Interesting piece taking a deeper dive into BC’s recent COVID numbers beyond the basic information released each day (which just consists of new cases, active cases, recoveries, deaths, hospitalizations). After a few weeks of exponential growth in August, new cases seemed to be plateauing, and now they’re seemingly wildly inconsistent, seemingly alternating between days with 40-60 new cases and 90-100. However, the new cases reported each day don’t necessarily reflect when each person actually got infected, they just reflect cases reported to public health authorities from tests done the prior day. But as the BC CDC has access to much more detailed data, they’re able to sort positive tests by when the person was actually likely infected and its showing that the curve is actually flattening again despite the daily new cases reported being wildly inconsistent lately. It’s still not all good news of course; school is just around the corner and BC’s COVID reproduction number is still slightly above 1 (meaning that on average each person here with COVID is still infecting slightly more than just one person), but with BC scaling up testing greatly over the last few weeks and the percentage of positive tests still relatively low, it means that BC is likely just detecting more people who would not have gotten tested otherwise rather than cases continuing to grow exponentially.

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Submitted by fueltransitsleep