#beach dividers by @cafekitsune | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chrollogy · 7 months ago

Text

SUNSET DREAMS ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

kageyama tobio x afab!reader

╰┈➤ part of house of solis occasum’s summer fic exchange for @mcdonaldsnumberone !

synopsis: The tall, raven-haired surf instructor catches your attention during a private surfing lesson with your friends but due to circumstances, there was no space for small talk. Later that afternoon, you cross paths once again at a beach club—a sign from the universe to grab the opportunity, and get to know him better. This quickly leads to a turn of events where you both end up naked in bed, and eager to explore each other’s bodies but there’s just one thing though, he’s a virgin.

content warning: beach au, surf instructor!/surfer!kageyama, poor depiction of surfing, bartender!hinata cameo, alcohol use, awkward flirting, i am making kags PATHETIC, summer fling/beach romance, nsfw, smut (mdni), virgin!kageyama, bottom!kageyama, top!reader, virginity loss (m), porn without plot, handjob, cum eating, unprotected s*x, creampie, multiple orgasms (m), not beta read.

word count: 6.3k

notes: eeeeep it’s my first time writing for mr tobio but i absolutely had fun !! i hope you enjoy mac :3 divider: cafekitsune.

The scorching sun amongst the cerulean skies kissed your warm skin, the scent of salt, and sea lingered in the air as a summer breeze blew by; sounds of heavy waves from the crystalline water, and distant chatters from avid beach goers filled your senses. It was hot, and humid with no ivory clouds in sight—the perfect formula for a quick summer getaway. The beach buzzed with liveliness; colourful hues of towels, and essentials laid upon the white sand, kids with plastic buckets, and shovels eagerly building sand castles, surfers chasing the endless azure waves beneath the blazing sun.

Just the sight of swells had your heart thumping with adrenaline rush, a vivid imagery of yourself attempting to ride the waves formulated in your mind. You’ve never tried surfing before but today was the perfect time to do so—a completely out of the blue suggestion by one of your friends, not that you were complaining. It was always nice to try new things, anyway.

“How do I look? Did I put on too much sunscreen?”

A saccharine voice to your left reeled you back to reality; looking over at the owner of the voice, an emerald gaze stared right back, her eyes sparkling beneath the searing rays of the sun. Scanning your friend’s face for any white cast from the sunscreen, you shook your head, and smiled, “You look fine, Alisa.” Taking your word for it, she mirrored your smile before placing her sunnies over her eyes. You, and three friends were clad in a rental jet black skin tight wetsuit provided by the surf school, preparing for today’s private beginner lesson.

You weren’t going to lie, the thought of braving the waves made your heart pound from nervousness, and excitement but seeing as you were going to experience this foreign activity with your friends—who also haven’t tried it before—it put you at ease; you just hoped the instructor was could somewhat save you if you happen to fall off the surfboard, and onto the warm waters beneath.

Speaking of the instructor, Hitoka spoke up, a subtle devious smile on her face as she worked her hands on her flaxen strands, deftly tying it up in a low ponytail, “I bet our instructor is hot.” This earned silent chuckles from the rest of you, shaking your heads at the blonde who just shrugged in response. “Laugh at me all you want now but if I’m right, you owe me a free drink at the beach club later.”

Playfully rolling your eyes at her newfound determination, you waved a dismissive hand at your friend, mirroring her smile,

“Sure, whatever helps you—”

“I’m so sorry for the wait, everyone! I’ll be your surfing instructor for today.” A dulcet voice cut your sentence short, it belonged to a tall man clad in a wetsuit—he looked to be around your age. Blinking twice up at him, your eyes raked his physique up, and down before taking in his handsome beauty—cropped raven hair that framed his face, and the sharp gaze of his dark blue eyes were the cherry on top; a blend of an innocent yet sultry appeal. He emanated a subtle intimidating aura, especially paired with his looming height but his voice was as soft as the first rays of the early morning, something you could get used to hearing everyday.

You were already considering buying Hitoka that free drink because god was he fucking hot—the skin tight surf suit did not leave much to one’s imagination with the way it hugged his lean build; dips, and curves of his muscles accentuated by the waterproof fabric. It was beyond shameless to ogle your instructor because you’ve completely missed his name, instead, your eyes were focused on the way his muscular legs shifted as he leaned his weight from one bare foot to another.

Next thing you knew, his sharp gaze was on you, an expectant look on his handsome face. Snapping out of your trance, you hesitantly looked to the side—at your friends—clearly unaware of what was going on, ‘Your name. He’s asking for your name.’ Kiyoko mouthed. Letting out a sound of realisation, you smiled up at the instructor, and introduced yourself, ignoring the sudden warmth that crept up the column of your neck, and to your cheeks.

After brief introductions were out of the way, the five of you headed down to the beach—surfboards securely tucked beneath an arm—to start off today’s lesson. Hitoka fell into a step next to you, hissing at the white scorching sand beneath her bare feet, angling your face over to her, you spoke up, “Hey, what was our instructor’s name again? I didn’t catch it earlier.” She looked at you, that devious smile back in its place, brows furrowed, free hand shielding her sweaty face from the blinding sun, “Why? Too busy ogling his hotness?”

Yes. But you weren’t going to tell her that—god, no, she’d never live it down because she was right.

You mustered your best uninterested expression, however, the corners of your lips were itching to curl upwards at her blatant teasing, clearly hitting the nail on the head. Hitoka briefly returned the same deadpan expression, narrowing her chestnut eyes at you before letting out a sigh of defeat, “Kageyama Tobio. Full name, even.” She snickered before going on to complain about the hot sand, and the equally hot summer weather.

“Kageyama Tobio.” You muttered underneath your breath, satisfied at how it easily rolled off your tongue—little did you know, you were going to be moaning it out like a shameless common whore hours later, as though it was made for your tongue only.

As the group neared the deserted azure waters, the scent of salt grew stronger; the sound of small waves crashing on the shoreline filled your ears as you came to a halt just a few ways from the water. Kageyama started the lesson by skilfully explaining the safety guidelines, surfing etiquette, and basic techniques; you tried your best to listen in on the briefing since this was a crucial part of the lesson but his dulcet voice slowly faded along with distant noises from the background as you stared up at his face.

Your eyes gently traced over every dip, and curve of Kageyama’s features, lips parted in slight awe, completely lost in his serene beauty as the late morning sun casted a warm glow upon his skin. This has never happened before—sure, you’ve stumbled upon other jaw-dropping faces in the past that had your heart skipping a beat or two but this was different, you were shamelessly drawn to him; as though you were a moon affected by gravitational attraction, falling into an orbit around a planet named Kageyama Tobio. Though, you mostly chalked up your absentmindedness to nerves taking root deep beneath your skin, as each minute grew closer to hitting the swells of the vast ocean.

After getting thoroughly briefed through safety measures, and basic techniques—such as paddling, popping up, and maintaining balance—the next part of the lesson was getting into the water. Despite your heart pounding with nervousness, paddling wasn’t too bad, the coolness of the wavy waters calmed your nerves a tad bit—a daring contrast from the scorching sun directly above your head.

Fortunately for you, Kageyama was amazing at his job—even though the group practised on shallow waters with small waves, getting the hang of popping up, and maintaining balance on the board was tricky, and he was there to ensure an easy experience for you. The feeling of Kageyama’s firm grip around the back of your thigh had your heart hammering as he supported your weight, gently guiding you to stand up on the board,

“Good! You’re a natural. Remember to keep your knees bent—that’s it.” His praise went straight to your legs, knees slightly buckling; it absolutely caught you off guard, almost losing balance but luckily, you didn’t let up, and tried your best to navigate through the small wave.

The lesson carried on for another hour—it went smoothly despite unceremoniously falling into the water a couple of times with your friends but this earned you several words of encouragement from your instructor which definitely did not have you pressing your legs together; god, you just hoped Kageyama didn’t notice with the amount of times you’ve done it throughout the span of the lesson—you’d rather willingly drink the salty sea water instead.

It was already late afternoon, and the summer sun was beginning to set; blue skies turned into hues of cotton candy pink, and pastel orange which casted a vibrant warm glow over the beach, as though it was a scene from a movie. The group leisurely walked along the stretch of the beach, heading for the beach club mentioned earlier. The three indulged themselves in a mellow conversation, raving about their newfound surfing skills, your mind, on the other hand, wandered elsewhere.

Gaze locked on the warm sand beneath as moments from the lesson vividly replayed in your head; you could still feel the warmth of Kageyama’s palm against your clothed skin, the way his fingers ever so slightly dug into your body whenever you wobbled a little.

As if the universe somewhat knew the truth of your mind, Hitoka exclaimed, “Hey! Isn’t that our instructor from earlier?” At the mention of him, your head shot up, eyes following the direction of her pointed finger; as your gaze shifted all the way to the sparkling waters, you recognized Kageyama’s familiar physique.

There he was in his own world, propped up on his surfboard, deftly riding the afternoon waves. As expected from a pro surfer, Kageyama’s body moved with such accuracy, and intricateness as though he was the one controlling the water—clad only in black board shorts, he looked absolutely divine beneath the sunset skies, the golden glow of the sun bouncing off his bare torso.

“He was a little too intense for me, if I’m being honest.” Alisa momentarily stared at him before shifting her gaze. “Really? He seemed fine to me. Just a little stiff.” Kiyoko responded, brows subtly furrowed as though she was in deep thought; this earned a hum of agreement from Hitoka before rambling on about how intense Kageyama’s gaze was.

Hm, you must be the odd one out because in your eyes, his personality was warm, albeit, a little awkward, and blunt but despite that, it was manageable—hell, you even enjoyed his praises no matter how flat or awkward his tone was.

The conversation carried over to the beach club located along a tranquil coastline; greeted with a mix of elegance, and topical accents, you scanned the place in awe—wooden cabanas draped with ivory curtains, and outdoor sunbeds lined the white sands which overlooked the still, azure waters. Apart from the ocean itself, the pool was also an option to swim in, offering a mini bar that you had your eyes set on.

Kiyoko, and Alisa decided to explore other amenities of the club whereas Hitoka opted to lounge at a sunbed, wanting to catch a glimpse of the sun setting behind the horizon, and as for you, your feet were already taking you to the mini bar situated by the pool. After that lengthy, exhausting lesson, all you needed right now was a little alcohol to wash down thoughts about a certain surfer that plagued your mind.

Tropical beats spilled from the speakers, creating a lively atmosphere for its patrons to enjoy; luckily, the poolside wasn’t too congested, and you were able to secure a vacant stool. Opting for the farthest corner in the outdoor bar, your eyes thoroughly scanned the miniature, azure pamphlet on the counter which contained a curated list of cocktails, and other beverages to indulge oneself in.

“If you’re having trouble choosing a drink, I highly suggest our signature cocktail ‘Sunset Dreams’! I can turn it into a mocktail if you’re not interested in alcohol.”

Looking up from the menu, and at the owner of the buoyant voice from behind the counter, you were greeted with a radiant smile that reached his eyes as though he was the epitome of sunshine; his spiky, orange hair that mirrored hues of the sky were not easy to miss, standing out against the neutral colours of his clothes—a beige linen button up shirt that had a few buttons loose, paired with ivory shorts.

The man held a metallic cocktail shaker, vigorously shaking it above his shoulder with both hands a few times before pouring its contents into a chilled highball glass, and sliding it over to a customer just a few seats down.

“So! What would it be for you?” He tapped the counter, returning in front of you before slightly leaning forward; he had an expectant look in his doe, chestnut brown eyes—a look which one, including yourself, couldn’t help but adore. You caught a glimpse of a small, golden nametag glimmering against the beige of his shirt—bold, ivory letters read ‘SHOYO’.

You contemplated his suggestion for a moment, “Okay. I think I’ll try the signature cocktail.” This earned a gleeful expression from the bartender, eagerly nodding at your choice of drink, “Good, good! You’re gonna love it! I’m Shoyo, your bartender for the night. If you need anything, just call out my name, and I’ll be there!” He pointed a finger at his name tag before working on the signature cocktail.

Smiling to yourself, you felt at ease being serviced by such a lively individual; Shoyo cheerfully greeted, and bid customers goodbye every now, and then—you subtly watched him do his job though he was part of a live entertainment.

A few minutes later, Shoyo sets a pretty, gradient cocktail before you, “One Sunset Dreams for you. Enjoy! Call me over if there’s anything you need!” Giving the bartender a warm thanks, you admired the beverage, it imitated colours of the sunset—a vibrant hue of red sitting on the base which gradually faded into a light cotton candy pink topped with two cherries on a swizzle stick, and a straw.

You didn’t hesitate to pull your phone out, and quickly snap a few photos to send to the group chat, instantly earning a thread of replies from Hitoka gushing about how amazing it looked. Before you could properly take a sip of your cocktail, Shoyo’s radiant voice filled your ears as he greeted an oncoming customer,

“Heeey, Kageyama! I haven’t seen you all week!”

At the mention of the surfer’s name, your ears unabashedly perk up. Sure, there were probably thousands—if not hundreds—of other Kageyamas out there but you only knew one person with that name, and he happened to be standing just two seats away from where you sat. His raven strands were damp, glistening beneath the golden sunset rays; he donned a plain white tee, and blue boardshorts which had no business making your heart pound like crazy.

The chances of meeting Kageyama here weren’t exactly slim given his job but you didn’t entirely expect to meet him here, let alone make friends with the beach club’s lively bartender—you didn’t make him out to be a person to regularly attend places like this.

As if he sensed your curious gaze, Kageyama looked to the side, navy blue eyes meeting your own. You waved—you fucking waved at him like he was an old friend who was here to meet with you; embarrassment gnawed at your skin, warmth creeping up from the sides neck of your neck, and onto your cheeks, resembling small, sharp kisses.

To your surprise, Kageyama dipped his chin in return before sauntering over to the vacant seat beside yours. “You two know each other?” Shoyo mused, brown eyes shifting between you, and Kageyama. The latter bluntly shook his head before pointing a thumb at you, “Had them for a beginner’s class earlier today.” You nodded at Kageyama’s reply.

“Also, just the usual mocktail for me.” The taller male added, taking a seat next to you, completely catching you off guard—you didn’t expect him to actually sit next to you but hey, maybe this was the universe’s sign to get to know the man better; how? You were about to find out for yourself. Shoyo returned a bright response, saluting at his friend before getting to work.

Despite the lively atmosphere of the poolside with distant chatters, and soft beats playing on the speakers, the air between you, and Kageyama turned awkward pretty quickly. Talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him, your mind screamed but all you could do at the moment was take a long sip of your cocktail—maybe getting a bit of liquid courage would help you in this dire situation, after all, as they said, a little goes a long way.

Awkwardly clearing your throat, you spoke up, “So . . What made you interested in surfing?” Good. This was a good conversation starter; you mentally gave yourself a pat on the back for quickly coming up with a question before the atmosphere got too silent, and uncomfortable to talk in. Kageyama met your eyes, cool gaze bringing an icy shiver down your spine; his dulcet voice engulfed your ears as he explained about his love for the sport.

Surprisingly, he had a whole lot to say about surfing—not that you were complaining, you listened to every word that slipped past his lips. You keenly watched how his relaxed expression gradually turned into something more passionate the more he talked about his job—eyes gleaming with pure enthusiasm, and the corners of his lips subtly curling upwards, it was adorable.

“Sorry. Did I bore you? I kind of went on a tangent there.” Kageyama sheepishly scratched his nape. “No, not at all! It was interesting to hear about it, really . . I think you’re really cute.”

Oh god.

Oh my fucking god. That wasn’t supposed to slip out.

Now would be a really good time for the ground to swallow you whole. Though, the only thing swallowing you whole was embarrassment, and to make matters worse, Kageyama wordlessly blinked at you with the most blank expression known to man—you were unsure whether it didn’t phase him at all or he just decided to ignore your blatant flirting altogether. Whatever the reason was, you were better off not knowing.

You could practically see the gears turning in his head as soon as the sentence slipped out. Though, in Kageyama’s defence, he didn’t know whether you were flirting with him or plainly just complimenting him—sure, he also found you cute but would it be weird if he said it back, and you just meant yours as a compliment, nothing more?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Kageyama was overthinking this whole conversation a little too much, he needed to give a response before it becomes unbearably awkward—

“Oh—um, thanks . . I think you’re cute too.” He practically mumbled the last part of his sentence but whatever, he wasn’t going to repeat it again, not when his cheeks turned awfully warm, and his heart skipped a beat or two. Kageyama tried his best to break eye contact but god he just couldn’t; he found your eyes beautiful, the way they shone beneath the warm glow of the sunset.

Maybe you were just being extremely delusional but did you hear Kageyama’s words correctly? He thinks you’re cute as well? Nonetheless, it gave you a boost of confidence, an invitation to shoot your shot, and see wherever it takes you. The raven-haired man subtly squirmed in his seat, deep blue eyes boring into your own; a small blanket of pink coating his cheeks

Was it just him or it felt really, really hot today? Even though the sun had dipped into the horizon, Kageyama felt like he was right beneath its scorching rays—all of a sudden his body felt uncomfortably hot, he felt sharp prickles kissing down his neck, and onto his chest. Kageyama had never felt this hot, and bothered under someone’s presence before—not to mention the growing sensation deep in his core. He felt pathetic, really, being all turned on from just a little flirting; if your words affected him this much, Kageyama wondered how he’d act underneath your touch.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Not the appropriate thought to think about right now.

He mentally cursed his mind for wandering to such impure thoughts rather too quickly because clearly it did nothing but further fuel the shameful feeling growing inside him—carnal desire. Oh, this was absolutely embarrassing on his end, it hasn’t even been at least ten minutes in your presence, and yet he’s getting needier by the minute.

Earlier, Kageyama was lucky enough that he was engrossed in the lesson, and therefore wasn’t too distracted by your presence—all he got was a pounding heart whenever he held your clothed body but that was just about it. Plus, Kageyama wasn’t one to muck around during his job since the safety of the class depended on him, he couldn’t afford some petty distraction, even if it meant pushing down his innocent feelings.

Though, Kageyama wondered if the feelings he had right now could be even called innocent.

As the raven-haired male squirmed in his seat once again, you caught a glimpse of the growing hardness between his thighs, the thin fabric of his shorts did so little to hide the tent at the apex of his legs—you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit to squeezing your legs at the sight.

It was barely above a whisper but Kageyama heard it just fine, a faint ‘I can help you with that.’

Maybe it was the alcohol talking but truthfully, you haven’t even finished your glass of cocktail, and it wasn’t even enough to get you tipsy—the next thing you knew, your thoughts swiftly flew out of your mouth before being able to stop yourself.

He gulped, nails digging into his palms at the erotic sight he just envisioned in his mind. Oh, god. Was this really happening right now? Did you just offer to help him with his growing erection? Kageyama’s throat felt dry. Where the fuck was Hinata with the drink he ordered? Why was he taking so long to make it? The whole situation felt surreal—a wet dream—too good to be true; he felt dizzy, and it didn’t stop there when he responded equally quietly.

If Kageyama was being honest, he didn’t hear his own words over the buzzing of his ear, and the thumping of his heart—all he knew was that it must’ve been a damn good response with your eyes widening, and lips curling up into a seductive smile, one that had his cock throbbing beneath his shorts.

It was all a daze from there, the rush of pure desire coursing through his veins, the spinning of his head; Kageyama vaguely remembered Hinata calling out to the both of you, assuming his mocktail was ready for him but he didn’t bat an eye, a mere beverage would simply do nothing to satiate the thirst he harboured—Kageyama needed you, only you could quench this growing ache between his legs.

Kageyama’s feet felt light against the pavement beneath, his flip flops scraping against it with every uncomfortable step taken. Hues of the fading sunset engulfed his mind, pretty pinks, and oranges slowly turned deep blue as you walked back to your accommodation—it was only a five-minute walk but god it felt like an eternity.

Your lips were on his as soon as the door to your room slammed shut, you swore the walls shook from impact but whatever, it was none of your concern. Kageyama’s lean arms caged you as your back hit the soft mattress beneath, fingers digging into the sheets at the dizzying kiss; no one has kissed him with this much drive, and passion before, the way your soft lips eagerly moved against his own, guiding him with each searing kiss.

Soft moans, and grunts slipped from Kageyama’s throat in between kisses, the sheer intensity from it was enough to make him cum untouched right then, and there; he could practically feel his body vibrating with lust—fuck, he couldn’t even think properly with the way your hands caressed his body up, and down, up, and down before sliding them under his ivory shirt, and gently clawing at his bare skin.

Heaven. Absolute heaven.

Kageyama moaned into your mouth at the feeling of your nails scraping his sensitive skin, trails of goosebumps forming beneath your sinful touch. And as he opened his eyes to meet your gaze, tears quickly pooled around them—from what? Kageyama didn’t know. Maybe it was from sexual frustration, maybe it was from the heavenly feeling of your nails, or maybe it was how each blissful emotion hit him like a truck, and took the air out of his lungs.

Momentarily pulling away from the kiss, Kageyama breathed out a string of incoherent words, a look of uncertainty crossing his crimson-painted face. “What—what was that?” You let out soft pants, dropping your head on the pillow beneath as you cupped his warm cheeks,

“I’m—I haven’t done this before . . I’m a virgin.”

You blinked up at him.

There was a slight pause—a heartbeat—as Kageyama’s confession lingered in the thick, warm air of the room; sweat already lined his forehead, raven strands sticking to his skin. “I’m sorry—Are you turned off?” He quickly peeled himself from your body, a rush of faint coolness momentarily engulfing you from his lack of presence. Kageyama sat on his knees, a bashful look painted on his face.

Quickly sitting up to cup his face, you shook your head, “No, no! Not at all . . Did you want us to stop? I don’t mind at all.” Now, it was Kageyama’s turn to vigorously shake his head, “No. I—I want to do it with you.” He breathed out, eyes glazed with pure lust.

You clenched your cunt at his words—just the thought of taking someone’s virginity, let alone Kageyama’s it felt like a whole lot of expectation had been placed on your shoulders but you weren’t backing down now, not at all, you were going to give him the most earth-shattering first time with how much trust he gave you.

“Take off your clothes, and lie on the bed.” As though time was of the essence, Kageyama hastily stripped his top off, shamelessly flinging it somewhere in the room. Your eyes keenly watched as his thumbs dipped beneath the waistband of his raven shorts, slowly dragging it down the length of his long legs ‘til it pooled around his ankles.

Kageyama wordlessly looked up at you, the fabric of his underwear still on him, cock painfully straining against it with a noticeable wet spot. “All of your clothes.” You added. The male’s cheeks warmed before shyly slipping it off, hard cock bouncing against the tufts of raven hair on his stomach, it shamelessly leaked of pre-cum, beads of pearlescent liquid sat prettily on his red tip.

“Good. Now, on the bed.” An icy shiver ran up his spine at the purr of your voice, velvety, and low as you pat the empty space next to you. As Kageyama situated himself on the bed, his bare back flush against the wooden headboard, he watched as you stood at the foot of the bed, hands slowly coming up to strip yourself.

What a tease.

Kageyama watched with eager eyes as each article of clothing slipped off your skin, Adam’s apple bobbing with each noticeable gulp—fuck, you looked divine; his hands ached to pleasure himself, fuck his cock on his fist as he watched you deftly unclasp your bra. Cursing beneath his breath, his gaze traced over your naked chest, eyes circling over your pert nipples, and down the valley of it. He was practically drooling at this point, rosy lips parted in complete awe at your raw beauty.

Oh, how he wanted to touch you so bad, roam his large hands all over your body, and squeeze, and rub at parts he’s never held before. Kageyama’s mind went absolutely wild, he wondered what your moans would sound like under his touch; would you enjoy his fingers on your sensitive clit? Moan his name out into oblivion? Cum on his hand?

You crawled up the mattress, situating yourself between his parted legs, just before his hard cock. Kageyama waited for your next move with a bated breath, toned chest heaving up, and down with anticipation, his hands gripping the ivory sheets beneath.

Deep, blue eyes widened as you curled over yourself, coming face to face with his dick; oh, you just knew that length would absolutely do wonders inside you. Kageyama bit his lip, stiffening underneath your touch as you circled a hand around his cock, languidly dragging it up to his tip to spread pre-cum down his shaft. Kageyama melted like putty at the first stroke, his head unceremoniously resting on the wall behind as pleasure consumed his body at the speed of lightning— he could already feel the building pressure in the pit of his stomach.

“Ah!—Fuck. T-that feels so, so good.” Kageyama moaned to the ceiling, his voice was airy, and light, a clear sign of pure bliss completely taking over his sanity. He’s never been touched by anyone before so this was a foreign experience for him; it felt different from when he pleasured himself with his own hands—your touch drove Kageyama to madness, and he was absolutely addicted to it.

Satisfied with his reaction, you picked up the pace, and brought another hand down to gently massage his balls which earned a loud whine of your name. Oh, fuck. Kageyama was floating on cloud nine, and this was only pleasure from your hands, what more if it was your wet cunt? Would he even last sheathed deep in your velvety walls? He doubted it.

As the pace picked up, Kageyama’s moans also grew in volume, his stomach clenched, and unclenched at the sheer pleasure that consumed his whole body, all because of your hands. “Fuck! Fuck! Fu—I’m cumming!” The raven-haired male let out a wanton moan, eyes closed shut, knuckles white, and muscles taut as the knot inside his stomach finally snapped. Pure bliss rocked through Kageyama’s body like never before, as though he was engulfed in a million pleasurable kisses.

White, hot ribbons of cum shamelessly spurted from his cock which coated your fingers, and wrist. Kageyama slumped against the headboard, all fucked out, and covered by a light sheen of sweat; his lips were parted as he desperately chased oxygen,

“Want you—I need you. Please . .” Kageyama panted, his lustful gaze locked onto your own; even though he just orgasmed, his cock was still rock hard. How needy. His breath hitched at the lewd sight before him as you languidly licked a long stripe up your wrist, gathering his cum on the tip of your tongue, and eagerly swallowing his essence down. It was like Kageyama’s brain short circuited—he’s only ever seen this sight on his laptop screen during sleepless nights, never did he think he’d see his own cum licked, and swallowed from one’s hand.

Was it possible to faint from such a sinful sight?

Sitting up, you inched closer to Kageyama’s lap, thighs on either side of his slim waist, and clothed cunt hovering his cockhead. With keen eyes, the raven-haired watched as you deftly pushed your panties aside, catching a glimpse of your glistening cunt. He licked his lips as though he was a predator silently stalking his prey, waiting to pounce. Kageyama wondered what you’d taste like on his tongue, your sweet slick smeared all over his mouth, and chin—he could only fantasise.

The violent thrumming of his heart filled his ears as he watched you shift your weight over his lap; this was really happening—Kageyama was about to lose his virginity. He felt a rush of every single emotion from A to Z, all things good but mixed with a bit of nervousness; what if he couldn’t satisfy you enough? What if he accidentally cummed way too soon? What if—

“Ohhhhh—fuck! Ngh—ah!” Kageyama violently threw his head back against the wall, fists gripping the sheets below as you slowly inched down his red tip. Oh god. Oh god. You hugged him so, so tightly, your cunt felt hot, and wet around him but in a good kind of way; he let out short breaths, his chest quickly heaving up, and down as he tried his best to ground himself. It was like his sanity snapped in a split second as soon as you made raw contact with his dick—this feeling was beyond cloud nine, as though he was one with the cosmos.

You bit your lip at his pornographic sounds, letting out low whimpers as Kageyama’s cock desperately twitched inside you. With your hands gripping his bare shoulders, you slowly inched down his cock, grounding yourself as the head kissed intimate parts of you that no one has ever reached. A unison of heavy pants filled the thick air after bottoming out; you momentarily stilled, giving yourself ample time to get used to Kageyama’s length because fuck it drove you absolutely insane.

“P-please move. Need more, please . .” He whined, desperately moving his hips beneath your weight, causing his tip to momentarily brush against your g-spot ever so slightly. Moaning at the contact, a string of colourful curses slipped past your lips, toes curling at the sudden wave of pleasure.

Without wasting any more time, you lifted your hips all the way up to his tip before slamming back down, earning muttered curses of your name from Kageyama. His hands immediately flew to your hips as a way to ground himself, as though holding onto anything else would immediately deprive him of this heavenly bliss.

Soft, wet squelches bounced off the walls with every languid roll of your hips, Kageyama couldn’t peel his eyes away from where to two of you connected—it was wet, and slippery, glistening from all your arousal; everything felt so sinful that it made his head spin, not the mention the bounce of your breasts with each movement of your hips. Every moan that slipped past your lips went straight to Kageyama’s cock, he was the one making you moan this loud, not to mention the look on your face—hooded eyes, and lips parted to chant his name every now, and then; pride blossomed in his chest.

Shared pleasure ate away at your bodies like a rabid animal, gnawing at your skin with nothing to stop it ‘til it reached your bones—it was immense, a toe-curling sensation with every relentless bounce of your hips; the way Kageyama’s cock repeatedly kissed your g-spot, the way your velvety walls sinfully wrapped around him like it was meant to be. Your thighs burned with exhaustion, a mix of pain, and pleasure completely taking over your body but you didn’t stop—you didn’t want to, not when Kageyama felt this amazing inside you.

You could tell the raven-haired was getting more, and more greedy for pleasure from how his nails painfully dug into your sweaty skin, the subtle upward thrust of his hips to meet your own, taking him even deeper into your wet heat. Heavy balls slapping onto your ass fuelled your desire further, the slight burn of it had you clenching around him.

“Ah!—Kageyama! Ohhhh fuck! You’re so deep . .” He closed his eyes at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue, voice as sweet as honey. Kageyama wondered if he could be a little more greedy, “Tobio—ngh! Call me Tobio.” He panted. It took all of his sanity to string the short sentence together, Kageyama couldn’t even hear himself over the loud skin slapping mixed with your endless whines.

Vigorously nodding, you moaned his name, “Tobio! Mhm—You gonna cum for me? Yeah?” It was Kageyama’s turn to nod at your gasped words, eyes momentarily screwing shut at its effect on him.

He wasn’t going to last any longer after just cumming his brains out from your hands a few minutes ago. “Oh, god!—Can I cum inside you? Please? Fuck, I want to stuff you full of my cum—ngh!” Words spilled from Kageyama’s mouth, blabbering out any coherent thought that came to mind. Truthfully, he’s always fantasised cumming inside someone, the feeling of emptying his balls, and shooting his thick load while sheathed deep inside was probably his biggest dirty secret—and he just shamelessly bared it to you.

“Yes—ah! Stuff me full of your cum, Tobio! Want your cum deep inside me, please.”

The desperation in your voice was all it took for Kageyama to snap, his fingers clawed at your hips as he painted your walls white, body stiffening under the immense pressure of pleasure. It didn’t help how your cunt gripped him like a vice, pulling him further, and further down the rabbit hole called bliss. You came with a loud moan of his name, curling over yourself, sweaty forehead resting on Kageyama’s bare chest as you desperately rode out your orgasms.

Both of you stayed still for a moment to catch your breaths, the sticky, uncomfortable feeling of warmth slowly engulfed your bodies as the high wore off. Kageyama didn’t even do much but he was absolutely spent, and drenched in sweat, he could only imagine your state, especially your thighs from all that bouncing.

“A-are you okay? That was—that was amazing . .” Dulcet voice sliced through the thick air, it earned a chuckle from you, you could only return a weak nod at his concern, your body too heavy to even move an inch. Kageyama’s soft breathing slowly pulled your to the borders of sleep but the summer heat against your skin was unbearable,

You mustered every strength to peel yourself off of him, “Shower with me?” Your lips wickedly curled upwards, hands gently caressing Kageyama’s bare chest. What a temptress.

Suddenly, he didn’t feel tired anymore. —

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum !

524 notes · View notes

alwaysmicado · 5 months ago

Text

Callisto I

10.2k | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 9

Series Masterlist | Joel Masterlist | previous | AO3

Warnings: no outbreak AU, implied age gap, emotional hurt/comfort, weed, mention of domestic violence, toxic dynamic, graphic vomiting, emotional rollercoaster, fluff Summary: Your car ride home from the beach is...eventful. Joel does something special for you to express his feelings. A/N: This part was going to be much too long, so I split it in two. It was important for me to post part I of Callisto before my birthday, and I’m so excited that I finally get to share it with you. Happy reading & please let me know your thoughts if you’re up for it. Thank you for your continued support, guys! ♡ Dividers by @/cafekitsune. Songs: Backburner by NIKI & My Exes by Snake City

“Why do you keep coming back?”

You bring the joint to your lips, your fingers brushing lightly against his as he passes it over. You take a deep drag, letting the familiar burn of the weed settle into your lungs before you exhale, slowly, the smoke curling into the night air. It’s a slow haze, softening your anger, making it easier to breathe even if only for a little while.

The pressure in your chest doesn’t lift—it never does, not really—but the weed at least dulls the edges.

For now, anyway.

The streetlight casts long shadows on the chipped concrete, bathing you both in a murky orange hue. You sit side by side on the curb, the shared joint passing lazily between you, the quiet of the night only disturbed by a dog barking further down the road.

Simon leans back, his shoulders slumped, the hood of his jacket pulled up, obscuring most of his face. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, tracing the outline of his jaw, the way his lips curl around the joint. You hate how he still looks good to you, even after his latest stunt.

“Why do you keep coming back?” he asks again, his voice low and gravelly, as if he already knows the answer but wants to hear you say it. “If all we do is hurt each other?”

You shrug, looking up at the stars, or what little of them you can see through the haze of city smog. You know the answer, but it feels too pathetic to admit out loud. The truth? It’s not that simple. It never has been.

“Maybe because the pain is addicting,” you whisper, your voice barely cutting through the stillness. “It’s like…a twisted dance, and we can’t stop stepping on each other’s toes.”

Simon smirks, and you catch the briefest glimpse of that crooked smile that makes your heart race. “You always were poetic,” he mutters, his tone tinged with both affection and scorn. He passes you the joint again, and this time, when your fingers brush, it sends a jolt through you—familiar, electric, dangerous.

You take a drag, letting the smoke cloud your thoughts, dull the ache. “I mean it, Simon,” you say, the words coming out slower now, heavy from both the high and the weight of them. “We know how to hurt each other in all the right ways. It’s almost like…we’re better at hurting than loving.”

He chuckles, but it’s empty, hollow. “Maybe we were never supposed to love in the first place,” he says, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Maybe all we’re good at is fucking things up.”

There’s no denying the truth in his words. You’ve been here before, countless times, caught in this cycle of destruction, breaking each other apart piece by piece, only to come back together, craving the chaos more than the calm. Simon would get restless after a while, he’d cheat and lie, you’d find out, you’d scream, cry, threaten to leave, and then—somehow—you’d end up in his arms again.

It was exhausting, suffocating, but it was also magnetic. You didn’t know how to leave. And neither did he.

You sigh, flicking the ashes of the joint onto the ground, your hand trembling slightly. “It’s fucked up, isn’t it?” you say, more to yourself than to him. “The way I can’t seem to let you go, even though I know you’re bad for me.”

He tilts his head, a smirk tugging at his lips as he studies your face for a moment. “Have you ever considered that you’d be a lot happier if you just admitted to yourself that you like it?”

He reaches for the joint, his fingers brushing yours for longer this time, deliberate. “You can keep telling yourself I’m the bad guy all you want, babe,” he says, his voice low, “but we both know you ain’t innocent in this either. You like it. The fighting, the drama, the sex. You like what we have.”

Your stomach tightens at his words, because there’s a part of you that knows he’s right.

You’ve said things, done things, you’re not proud of. Screamed in his face, hurled insults meant to wound, thrown plates that shattered like the fragile remains of your relationship. And then, when the storm passed, you’d pull him into bed, your anger melting into a desperate kind of need. It was all you knew—this toxic spiral that twisted love and pain together until you couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.

“Maybe,” you admit softly, feeling the weight of your own guilt settle on your shoulders. “Maybe I do.”

Simon turns to you then, his gaze locking with yours, and for a moment, you can see the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he never lets anyone else see. “So, what are we doing here?” he asks, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “We’re just gonna keep doing this? Over and over?”

You swallow hard, the question hanging between you like a knife. You know the answer, even if you don’t want to admit it. You’re stuck in this loop, and neither of you knows how to break free.

“I don’t know,” you say, your voice barely audible. “I don’t know how to stop.”

Simon leans in closer, his breath warm against your cheek, and for a second, your heart races with that familiar, dangerous anticipation. “We don’t have to stop,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “We can keep this going; keep fucking up, keep hurting, keep loving. It’s what we do.”

You let out a small, tired laugh, and shake your head. “Yeah, Simon, great plan,” you say, your tone light, almost condescending, though there’s no real bite behind it. “Let’s just keep breaking each other into pieces. That’s gonna end well.”

You don’t even have the energy to fight properly. It’s all too much, and you’re too tired. Tired of the fights, the back-and-forth, the constant cycling through pain and passion like it’s the only way you know how to exist together.

He watches you closely, his gaze unwavering, as if he’s trying to figure out what you’re thinking, waiting for you to snap at him, to tell him off. But you don’t. You can’t. You feel the exhaustion settle in your bones, making it impossible to muster up any anger.

Why is it so difficult?

What the hell is wrong with you that it’s so difficult for him to love you? To not hurt you? You wonder if it’s something about you, something broken deep inside, something that makes you impossible to love.

You’ve tried, haven’t you? You’ve bent yourself to fit the version of you he seems to want, the version that’s easier, less complicated, less demanding. But no matter how much you bend, no matter how much you give, it’s never enough.

What is it about you that’s so unlovable?

“I’m sorry, you know,” Simon murmurs, taking a long drag from the joint.

You blink, your head feeling light, detached, like you’re floating just above the surface of yourself. The words come slower now, softer, like you have to pull them from some faraway place.

“For what?”

You hear yourself ask the question, but it feels distant, like it’s not really you speaking. The world around you is muffled, like you’re wrapped in cotton, the sounds, the lights, all muted. Simon’s face swims in your vision, and for a moment, you focus on the way his lips curve as he exhales, the smoke curling lazily from his mouth. You watch it drift up, swirling in the air between you, and it’s almost beautiful, the way it moves, weightless and free.

Simon glances at you, his eyes half-lidded, bloodshot, but there’s something in his gaze—something that makes you feel a tug of recognition, though your mind is too foggy to grasp what it is. He takes another drag, slower this time, and when he speaks again, his voice is soft.

“You know what.” He hands you back the joint and you take it, and you inhale deeply, the burn in your lungs calming your nerves.

“Then why’d you do it?”

He hadn’t even tried to hide it this time. You heard the story from someone else first, a smug, offhand comment meant as a joke. Simon, with his arm slung over your shoulder, laughing along like it was nothing, like you weren’t standing right there, feeling the ground crumble beneath your feet.

“I was drunk as fuck ‘cause they kept bringing shots after shots after shots, and she took advantage of that like you wouldn’t believe. That’s what those girls do, and shit, I wasn’t the only one they got like that—Ben, Jake, Alex, Teddy too, I think.”

All of them in relationships, one to be married in two weeks, one with a baby on the way.

Disgusting.

“It’s so easy for you, isn’t it?” you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them.

Simon furrows his brow, turning to you, confusion flashing across his face. “What do you mean?”

You shake your head, unable to look at him directly, your gaze fixed on the joint between your fingers. “Going through life, knowing nothing is ever your fault,” you murmur. There’s no anger in your tone, just a tired sort of resignation, like you’re saying something you’ve known all along.

“What are you talking about?” he scoffs. “Nothing’s ever been easy for me. I fucked up royally, yeah, I get that, but it wasn’t my fucking fault. I didn’t even wanna go to the damn club, but Alex wouldn’t stop begging, so I gave in.”

“You see?” you say, your voice quiet, but firm. “You’re fine as long as Alex was the one who made you cheat. It’s all good ‘cause the stripper took advantage of you, right?” You can hear the bitterness in your own voice.

“You don’t need to change or grow, ‘cause, what’s the point, your parents fucked you up anyway. It’s your boss’s fault your coworkers complain about you, it’s the cops’ fault that you got a DUI, and it’s my fault that you resent me.”

You watch Simon’s face as the words sink in, the flicker of defensiveness in his eyes, the way his jaw tightens.

“And I know that deep down you really do believe all that.” You pause, staring at him through the thick fog clouding your mind, your body sinking deeper into the concrete. “So, I guess my question is…why even bother with me anymore?”

“Baby…”

“No, I’m serious,” you say, cutting him off, but there’s no fire in your voice, just a dull weariness that matches the slow pulse of your heartbeat. “Why? Why keep me around when you could be happy, doing what you wanna do, without me holding you back?”

Simon sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair, his shoulders slumping. “I wouldn’t be happy without you.”

“But I’m not enough for you,” you whisper, tears inadvertently filling your eyes. “I’ve never been enough. Despite trying everything in my power. I’m not enough for you.”

Simon doesn’t answer right away. He takes the joint from your hand, inhaling deeply, staring at some distant point in the darkened parking lot. The quiet stretches, thick and uncomfortable, and for a moment, you think he’s not going to answer at all. But then he finally sighs, rubbing a hand over his face like he’s trying to buy himself more time.

“What do you want me to say?” he mutters. “You know I’m not always good with words or expressing feelings and all that shit…but you’re wrong. You’re everything to me.”

He hands you the joint and you shake your head, a mirthless laugh bubbling to the surface. “Yeah, that’s why you fucked a stripper and had unprotected sex with me right after. Do you hear yourself?”

He exhales exasperatedly as he leans back, palms pressed against the cool concrete. “It’s not– it didn’t mean anything,” he says, his voice defensive. “It’s not like I’m looking for someone better than you.”

“Then why?” you press, your voice shaking now. “If I’m so important to you, why do you keep lying and sneaking around? What’s the point?”

He sighs again, louder this time, like he’s tired of this conversation before it’s even really begun. “I don’t know, okay? I get restless sometimes. I’m not…thinking when I do it.” His thumb brushes over the back of your hand, a small, almost absent-minded gesture that makes your heart clench. “It’s not like I’m trying to hurt you. I’m really not, baby. And It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

His hand tightens around yours, grounding you in the moment, and for a second, you almost feel comforted.

Almost.

But then, like a flash, the memory hits you—sharp, vivid, paralyzing.

The pain shoots through your wrist all over again, that awful, sickening crunch echoing in your ears. You’re back in the ER, the blinding white lights overhead making your eyes burn, your head pounding as you sit there, staring at the sterile walls. You’d made up some story, but the nurse looked right through you, her eyes filled with pity.

You remember how you sat there, waiting, your body aching but your mind empty, not even able to cry a single tear. Just numb. Completely detached from yourself, like you were watching it all from the outside.

You remember the young doctor, the one who stitched you up. His voice was light, conversational, doing his best to distract you from the deep gash in your wrist. He told you about how his daughter had just started kindergarten that day. How proud and terrified he and his wife were, how they’d taken a hundred pictures of her in her little backpack. How she was such a happy, bright girl, full of curiosity and excitement.

You could barely listen, but you remember the way his voice softened when he said, “I just hope she always knows how loved she is.”

That was the part that stuck with you.

The way his voice cracked just slightly when he said it, like he was imagining all the ways the world could break her. How someone could end up hurting her like someone hurt you. And as you sat there, the needle pulling your skin back together, all you could think about was how far away that feeling was—how you had no idea what it felt like to be that loved, that safe.

You swallow hard, looking down at your intertwined hands. “You’ve said that before, you know. When you drove me home from the hospital.” Your voice is soft, almost too quiet, but the accusation is there.

Simon stiffens. His grip loosens slightly, and you can see the flicker of guilt in his eyes, but it’s the kind of guilt that runs shallow, just skimming the surface. His jaw clenches, and he pulls his hand away.

“I thought you were over that,” he mutters.

You stare at him for a moment, then let out a soft, bitter laugh. “Yeah, sure,” you say with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes, your voice dripping with sarcasm. You hold out your hand to him, the small scar visible on your wrist, faded but undeniable. “Totally over it. Look, it’s almost like it never happened.”

Simon’s face falters as he hesitates, then takes your hand gently, his thumb brushing over the scar as though trying to erase it with that simple touch.

“I wasn’t right that night,” he murmurs, his eyes locked on your hand before you pull away. “You know I’m not…I wasn’t right.”

You chuckle and take the joint from him. “Yeah, I know.”

He’s silent beside you, his fingers twitching like he wants to reach for you again but doesn’t know how. You can feel his eyes on you, heavy with unspoken words, but you don’t look at him. Instead, you take a slow drag from the joint, letting the smoke fill your lungs.

“I’m not doing that anymore,” Simon says quietly.

You don’t respond. You don’t even look at him. You smoke in silence, absentmindedly rubbing over a faded bruise on your leg.

“The past few months were nice, weren’t they?” Simon’s voice cuts through the silence, tentative, like he’s testing the waters. “I mean, we were fine, right? You were happy?”

You nod, exhaling slowly as the smoke leaves your lips. “I was happy, yeah.”

“Then let’s go back to that. I don’t wanna fall asleep without you in my arms again.” He moves closer, his hand reaching for your chin, gripping it gently, so you’ll look at him. His eyes are wide, pleading, the same look he always gives you when he’s trying to pull you back in. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Which time?

“Hey, I mean it.” He turns your head back, his grip tighter now. “I’m trying to be better for you, I really am. Just…tell me what you want me to do to make it right and I’ll do it. Anything.”

“You know, I never wanted you to become a better person for me, Simon,” you say softly, removing his hand from your chin, and letting it fall to his side. “I wanted you to look in the mirror, and realize that you’re a fucking asshole, and change for yourself. I wanted you to realize you’re turning into the very man you always told me you’d rather die than become.”

He stares at you for a moment, then shakes his head as the mask he so carefully wears is slipping. “You love doing this, don’t you?” he mutters. “Pushing, prodding, trying to make me feel like shit.”

You curl your arms around your legs, pulling them close to your chest, your voice calm. “If the shoe fits…”

“Oh, really?” he scoffs, his voice dripping with venom. “You think you’re so much fucking better than me, don’t you? Well, let me tell you this, princess. You’re not as fucking perfect as you think you are, and if you think other people can’t see that, you’re hallucinating.”

“I don’t think I’m perfect, Simon. I wouldn’t be here if I did.” Your voice is softer than you intend, like the weed is suppressing your strength to yell. “I wouldn’t be here if I did.”

“Then why the fuck are you here if you hate me so much?”

“‘Cause I’m an idiot.” You bring the joint to your lips and inhale deeply. “I’m an idiot who can’t let go. ‘Cause I still think you could be better if you just tried. If you stopped listening to your friends, if you stopped drinking, if you stopped blaming me for every shitty thing that’s happened to you in the last five years.”

He’s shaking his head before you even finish. “I don’t do that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“And your solution is to just up and leave without telling me where you are? Very mature.”

You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head. “I can’t talk to you, Simon. Every time I try, it’s like I’m talking to a wall.”

“You could talk to me if you actually wanted to,” he snaps back. “But it fits your narrative better when you can storm out, make your big scene, and go enjoy your little power trip. That’s what you do, right? It’s easier than actually being a grown-up and talking things out with me.”

“You’re delusional,” you mutter, brow furrowed.

“I’m delusional?” Simon’s laugh is hollow, his eyes flashing. “Yeah, right. I think you’re the one who’s lost it.”

You feel the words leaving his mouth before he even says them, the familiar sting of what’s next, and it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion. “Like you’re any better than me. Look who the fuck’s talking. Her mother’s daughter.”

There it is. The blow he always lands when he’s desperate to hit you where it hurts.

It’s his ace, the easiest way to throw you off-balance, to bring you down to the level where you feel vulnerable and he can control the conversation again.

You feel an old pain rising to the surface, but instead of letting it show, you smile. It’s not a real smile, but a small, knowing curve of your lips, the kind that hides everything you refuse to let him see. You’re not taking the bait this time.

“She had to go to the hospital again,” you murmur, your eyes on the joint as you bring it to your lips for one last drag. Then, you stub it out on the curb, watching the ember fade. “Thanks for asking.”

Simon’s face falls, the sharp edge of his anger crumbling away. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“Oh, you know,” you cut him off with a casual shrug. “It is what it is.”

“Why didn’t you–”

“‘Cause you were balls deep in a goddamn stripper, Simon,” you interrupt, your voice cold and flat. “I can’t rely on you.”

His face twists in frustration, but his eyes soften, and if you weren’t as high as you are, you’d see the little lines of guilt written all over his face. He reaches out to touch your shoulder, his hand hovering for a second before he gently rests it there.

“Baby, you know you can rely on me,” he says softly. “We have our problems, sure, but I always have your back.”

You roll your eyes, but he presses on, his voice earnest. “Look me in the eye and tell me it’s not true.”

Your eyes meet his. You know exactly what he’s referring to.

That one thing he holds onto as proof, as his trump card, the one time he truly came through for you when it mattered most. The time you thought you’d lose everything. If it’s not your histrionic mother he uses against you, it’s this.

“You can’t hold that over my head for the rest of my life,” you say, your voice steady but sharp. “You don’t get to help me when I need you most and then throw it in my face every time things get hard. That’s not how this works.”

His hand falls from your shoulder. He knows you’re right, but he doesn’t want to admit it. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I’m agitated. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

He shifts uncomfortably beside you, his fingers twitching in his lap as he glances away. When he finally speaks, his voice is quieter, hesitant. “Is she gonna be alright?”

You nod, but there’s no relief in it. “Mhm.”

There’s a long pause, heavy and suffocating, like an unseen barrier between you two. The night air is crisp, and your bare legs peeking out beneath your skirt are starting to get cold. Simon breaks the silence first.

“Baby, look at me. Please.”

You blink slowly, your eyes struggling to focus as everything around you starts to blur. The edges of Simon’s face seem to dissolve into the night, his features soft and indistinct, almost like he’s not really there. But you find him again, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his disheveled hair. He looks…lost. It’s rare to see him this vulnerable, this unsure.

How beautiful.

“Can we go home?”

You don’t hear him, not really. All you hear is the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor echoing in your ears. It’s distant but persistent, a steady pulse that reminds you of things you’d rather forget. Then, a disembodied voice, calmly announcing that, “This could have been prevented. This is your fault.”

The words float through your mind, circling, wrapping tighter and tighter around you.

“Baby?”

You try to focus on Simon’s face again, but it’s hard to think, hard to find the words. Everything feels slow, muffled, like you’re moving underwater.

“I have to go,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, like the words are slipping away from you even as you say them.

He tenses up immediately, his brow furrowing. “What do you mean, ‘go’?”

“It means I’m tired, Simon. It means I can’t do this anymore.”

The silence that follows is deafening, like the world has suddenly come to a standstill, waiting for the inevitable fallout. You can practically feel Simon’s frustration pulsing off him.

But as you tilt your head, your gaze wandering over his face, the familiar lines of anger are there, yes. But beneath that, hidden in the set of his shoulders, in the way his hands rest uncertainly in his lap, you can sense something different. Fear. Real fear that this time, you might actually mean it. That this time, you might actually leave.

He doesn’t say anything as you stand up, your legs trembling beneath you, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst out of your chest. The world spins around you, dizzying, your vision blurred, and you stumble. Instinctively, Simon reaches out, steadying you with his hand.

But you shove him away immediately, your skin burning where his fingers brushed yours. You can’t let him touch you right now. If he touches you, you know you’ll crumble. You know you’ll fall back into his orbit like you always do.

And you may just be unable to afford that anymore.

But then, like a shadow moving through the haze of your high, Simon is suddenly in front of you—close, too close. His presence is disorienting, his words pouring over you before you can even process the distance he’s just closed.

“You don’t mean it,” he says, low and sure, like a statement of fact, as if he’s already decided this for you. His eyes lock onto yours, and it feels like you’re sinking into them, the pull of him as strong as ever, like gravity. He knows how to make you feel small, like your words hold no weight next to his certainty.

“I love you,” he whispers, and the tenderness in his voice makes you shiver, even though your mind screams for you to stay strong. His words wrap around you, weaving through the cracks in your resolve. His face is so close now, his breath warm against your skin, and you can’t tell if it’s the weed or the way he’s looking at you, but everything feels…slower. Softer. Like you’re slipping into a warm, dangerous comfort.

“You know how much I love you, don’t you? Yeah, I messed up, I know I did. But don’t let this ruin us. We’re too good together for that.” His voice is so gentle, hypnotic…irresistible.

“Simon…”

He steps even closer, the space between you disappearing as his hands find yours. His touch is warm, grounding, and despite the cold night air biting at your skin, his presence feels like shelter. He squeezes your hands softly, and your heart stumbles over itself.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he whispers, pleading. “Don’t walk away from us. We’re not perfect, but we belong together. You’re my family, baby. You’re all I have in this godforsaken world. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like I matter…like I deserve love.”

It’s incredible, really, how easily he can break you down, how he can strip away all your defenses with just a few words. He knows exactly which buttons to push, how to weave his need for you into something that feels like love, something that feels like safety—even though you should know better.

He sees it, too. He sees the way your resolve falters, the way your eyes flicker with that familiar softness, and a satisfied smile curls on his lips. He knows he’s got you. He always knows when he’s won.

“C’mere,” he says gently, his hands sliding up your arms, pulling you toward him, and despite every instinct telling you to run, you let him. You let him hold you, let him wrap his arms around you like a protective shield against the world.

Your body sinks into his, your cheek resting against his chest, and you can hear the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath your ear. Each beat is a rhythm you’ve known for years, one that’s soothed you through your darkest moments, even as it’s caused some of them. His scent wraps around you, familiar and intoxicating, like the remnants of a home you’re desperate to return to. You let yourself drown in the warmth of him, in his steady presence that has helped you through so much. His hand strokes the back of your head, his touch soft, soothing.

It’s messed up how right it feels.

How comforting it is to be here in his arms, even when your heart is breaking inside.

“I love you,” Simon whispers again, his breath warm against your temple. “I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so fucking sorry. But you’re all I have, babe. I need you.”

You close your eyes, biting back the sob that threatens to escape. His words seep into your skin, and you want so desperately to believe him.

You love him. God, do you love him. Even when it hurts. Even when it breaks you. And right now, with his arms around you, you miss him so deeply it feels like a hollow ache in your chest. You don’t want to be without him. He’s the only thing that’s ever felt like family to you. The only person who knows all your scars, all your flaws, and still pulls you close.

“I need you too,” you whisper, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. It’s the truth, as ugly as it is.

Simon holds you tighter, his arms enveloping you, and for now, you let yourself sink into the comfort of it. Into the warmth of his embrace, into the way his hand rubs slow circles on your back like he’s trying to erase all the hurt, all the broken pieces between you.

You let him tell you he loves you, let him soothe you with his words, let him promise you the world, even though deep down, you know you’ll both end up in the same place again.

And before you know it, you’re slipping into the passenger seat, the door closing behind you with a soft, final click.

“You okay, darlin’?”

Joel’s voice pulls you back, the deep rumble of his question cutting through the fog of memories clouding your mind.

You blink, taking in the familiar interior of his car, the hum of the road beneath the tires, the soft glow of the dashboard lights illuminating his profile. The past feels too close, too heavy, pressing on your chest like you’re still stuck in it. But Joel is here, real and solid next to you, grounding you in the present.

“Yeah,” you answer quietly, your voice a little rougher than you mean for it to be. “Just tired.”

You see him glance over at you, concern evident in his eyes, but he doesn’t push. Not this time. He’s trying his hardest not to pry, not when he knows you need space. He just nods and keeps his eyes on the road, his hand resting on the gearshift, close but not touching.

“We’re almost there,” he says after a beat, his voice gentle, steady—so different from the frantic beat of your heart.

You nod, staring out the window at the darkened streets passing by. It’s quiet this late at night, and the drive back to your place feels longer than it should. The weight of the past few days lingers like a shadow, gnawing at the edges of your mind, making it hard to breathe.

You can still see Laura’s hand on her bump, the way her sad eyes looked at you like you were in the wrong. You can feel Simon’s arms around you, the way he pulled you in even when you should’ve pushed him away. The way you couldn’t help but let him.

But you’re not that person anymore. This is different. Joel’s different.

Your stomach churns, a wave of nausea rising so suddenly it feels like the world tilts. You grip your bandaged hand tighter, shift in your seat, trying to breathe through it, but the sensation intensifies. You can taste the bitterness of the meds in your mouth, the stress squeezing your chest like a vice as cold sweat starts spreading on your skin. The movement of the car only makes it worse, and you know what’s coming.

“Joel…” you manage, your voice strained, barely above a whisper. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

��Huh?” His head snaps toward you, eyes widening with concern as he sees how uncomfortable you are. “Shit. Hang on.”

Without hesitation, he tightens his grip on the steering wheel and scans the street for a place to pull over. It’s late, but the road is still lined with parked cars, neon signs glowing from nearby buildings. Finally, he spots a small gap along the curb. He turns on his blinker and slows down, smoothly guiding you toward the side of the street.

You fumble desperately with the seatbelt, your fingers trembling and uncoordinated as nausea hits you like a wave. Before you can manage it yourself, Joel leans over, his hands quick but gentle as he clicks the seat belt free. “Here,” he murmurs, and the moment the belt retracts, you’re already reaching for the door handle.

The second the door is open, you lurch out onto the sidewalk, the city air thick with petrichor from the short downpour that made you leave the beach earlier. The nausea hits hard, and you bend over, retching violently onto the pavement. It’s mostly bile, bitter and burning in your throat, and each wave of sickness feels like it’s tearing through your body. You grip the door for support, your hands shaking, your body trembling from the sheer force of it.

You hate this. The vulnerability, the pain, the utter helplessness of it all.

Joel moves quietly, reaching into the glove compartment for tissues. He doesn’t crowd you, just watches carefully, his expression tight with worry. He’s there, but giving you the space you need. After grabbing the tissues, he steps out of the car, making his way around to the back. You can hear him rummaging in the trunk, though your focus remains on trying not to accidentally cough up your lungs.

“Goddamnit,” you choke out, your voice strained as another wave of nausea forces the last of the bile from your body. It burns, raw and painful, your whole frame trembling as you lean over. Joel is next to you, hovering, trying to be there, but keeping his distance.

“I hate this,” you whine dramatically, your head pounding as you try catching your breath.

Once you feel like the worst is over and your stomach is settling, you straighten up and look at Joel through watery eyes. He’s smiling at you sympathetically, taking a step closer to wipe your mouth and chin with a couple of tissues.

You’re about to tell him not to touch you, but the concentrated look on his face and the deft but gentle motion of his fingers put you in a trance. He’s cleaned your mouth and wiped away your tears before you could even say anything.

“Do you remember how hot I looked in that short red dress?” you murmur, furrowing your brow at the unexpected pain coming from your sore throat.

“Yeah, how could I not?” Joel chuckles as he opens and hands you the water bottle he had waiting for you in his back pocket.

“Good,” you nod before swishing a mouthful of water, and spitting it out onto the concrete away from you. You take another sip, letting it cool your throat before you cap the bottle and look into Joel’s eyes. “I want you to think of that really hard and forget everything you just saw, okay?”

He just smiles at you, touching your shoulder with his warm hand. “Sweetheart, you’re vastly underestimating my attraction to you. You think a little puke’s gonna deter me? If you weren’t in pain, I’d kiss you no problem.” The way his eyebrow automatically twitches makes you roll your eyes. But it also warms your heart.

“You’re disgusting,” you say, trying your hardest not to smile.

“Says the girl who wiped snot off my face and kissed me while I was sweaty and gross after rolling around in bed with a fever. Guess we’re both disgusting, then.”

“Hm,” is all you manage to get out, a tiny smirk on your face, but it falters just as quickly as you suddenly feel like you’re going to throw up again.

“No, no, no, please, no,” you murmur, terrified, clutching the open car door for dear life. Your body tenses up, desperate to avoid another wave of sickness. You can’t do this again.

“I’m right here,” Joel whispers softly, his hand coming to rest on your back. He begins rubbing slow, soothing circles, his touch gentle and steady. There's a hint of helplessness in his voice, as if he wishes he could do more, but knows this is all he can offer right now. “It’s okay, just breathe.”

You focus on his hand, the warmth of it cutting through the cold sweat covering your skin. The nausea grips you, but Joel’s steady touch draws you back, grounding you. Your breath steadies, and when the sickness passes, you focus on the warmth of his hand, his touch comforting in a way you didn’t expect.

You’re usually not one for people being around, let alone touching you, when you’re vulnerable like this. The only time you’d allow anyone to get this close is during sex. But that’s different. Especially with Joel.

No one else gets to do the things he does with you. Not that you’ve ever admitted that to him.

He’s seen you at your most unguarded—tied up with your ankles behind your ears, covered in sweat, drooling, crying, bruised from his hands, begging for release, and confessing all the depraved things you’d let him do to you if he’d just finally let you come. He’s seen you laid bare, stripped down to nothing but raw desire and submission. And in those moments, there’s nothing but trust and desire between you two.

It’s freeing. Being able to let go of your body and mind so completely.

But this?

The idea of Joel witnessing you vomiting bile on the side of a dingy city street while your hand is bandaged, your face contorted, and your body shaking like you’ve been dragged through hell…

Not good. Especially after what happened.

You don’t know how to navigate this new territory with him, and the last thing you want is for him to see you weak like this. Not when you’re already feeling fragile.

You’re embarrassed, your cheeks burning from the humiliation of it all. You know this moment will haunt you on sleepless nights when your mind drags up every cringe-worthy memory. But right now, there’s an unexpected comfort in knowing he’s here.

“I think it’s over,” you say quietly, almost afraid to voice it, half-expecting your body to betray you again just because you dared to say it out loud. But it doesn’t. The nausea ebbs away, leaving only exhaustion in its wake. It’s over.

“Okay,” he murmurs, his voice low and reassuring. “Just take your time. Don’t rush it.”

You inhale deeply, drawing in the cool night air. The city smells faintly of petrichor and there’s a soft hum from the distant traffic, cars rolling by on the nearby streets. It all feels surreal, like the world is far away from the small bubble you and Joel are in.

The steady circles he traces on your back continue, grounding you further. You let your eyes close for a moment, soaking in the calm of the moment.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter, not looking at him.

He shakes his head, his brow furrowed in worry. “You got nothing to be sorry for. Do you think you’re okay to go on now?”

You nod and swallow hard, the sting in your throat making you wince. You manage a weak, half-hearted smile, though the world still feels off-kilter. “Yeah, I think so. But if I start dry-heaving again, just do us both a favor and push me out of the moving car, okay?”

He smirks, his lips curling in that familiar, teasing way. “As if I could ever deny you something,” he says softly, his humor not quite hiding the concern in his eyes. “Let’s get you home, darlin’.”

He pauses, like he wants to say more, his mouth opening slightly as if searching for the right words, but he holds back. Instead, he just watches you carefully as you make your way back into the passenger seat, waiting until you’re settled before gently closing the door behind you.

You lean your head back against the seat, eyes half-lidded, the weight of everything pressing down on you like a heavy blanket as you continue your way home.

The words are there, inside you, loud, persistent, trying to break free; but you can’t. Where would you even start? What’s the point in revealing more of yourself? What good could come from it?

Nothing. That’s what.

Nothing.

You watch the city lights blur outside the window, your thoughts darker than the night. Your life feels like it’s crumbling, piece by piece, slipping through your fingers no matter how hard you try to hold on. And once again, you know—deep down—it’s your own doing. It always is. No matter how many times you try to make things right, it always ends up the same way.

When Joel finally parks in front of your apartment building, the car idles quietly, and he takes a moment to gather his thoughts. You can feel him looking at you, trying to find the right words. You don’t move, your mind still preoccupied with your own self-doubt.

“We’re here,” Joel says, a soft smile on his lips. He’s trying, you can tell, but you’re too far gone, too lost in your own spiral. When you don’t respond, his smile falters, but he presses on, determined to lift the weight between you.

“I was thinking…” he begins, his voice light. “I could cook for you tomorrow if you’re up for it? I remember I owe you a nice dinner, and no, it’s not just frozen pizza this time. It’s a frozen pizza with a side salad.”

He grins, hoping to coax a smile out of you, some kind of response. But you don’t laugh. You don’t even crack a smile.

Joel clears his throat and shifts slightly in his seat, his fingers drumming anxiously on the steering wheel. He’s trying to pull you out of whatever hole you’ve fallen into, but you can’t meet him halfway. You don’t have the strength.

He looks at you, his heart sinking as he takes in your sad, distant eyes. It’s like you’re not really here, like you’ve drifted somewhere far away, unreachable. How he wishes he could climb inside your mind and pull out whatever it is that’s weighing so heavily on you, take the burden for himself.

“Darlin’?” he repeats softly.

You blink, refocusing, but the smile you give him doesn’t reach your eyes. “Hm?”

“Can I cook for you tomorrow? You could come over to mine after work, or I can come here. Whatever you prefer.” There’s a hopeful smile on his face, a softness in his gaze, and the way he looks at you, almost like a puppy waiting for a treat, makes your stomach twist painfully.

You remember the dinner with Tommy and Maria, cursing yourself silently for agreeing to go. It’s not that you don’t love them—you do—but the thought of sitting through that dinner, of having that conversation with Tommy, feels like a nightmare.

“I can’t tomorrow.”

Joel’s smile falters the slightest bit, but he remains undeterred. “How about Saturday? I’ll plan something nice for us. Something I know you’ll love.”

Oh no.

You want to say it so badly it physically hurts.

You’ve been better, haven’t you? Over the past year or so. You’ve tried—really tried—to keep your cool, to express your feelings in a healthy way, or at least something close to it. You’ve worked hard to stop falling into that old mentality where uncomfortable emotions make you feel cornered and you end up lashing out. You’ve made progress.

You’re not the same person you used to be. He’s not Simon. You don’t act like this anymore. You’ve outgrown this. Don’t do it. Don’t say–

“You’re free on a Saturday?”

Joel blinks, the confusion clear on his face. “Yeah, like always when I’m not working,” he says, unsure where this is coming from.

“Oh,” you murmur. “Would’ve thought you already had plans with your, uh…with Jan.”

How subtle.

“I’m not planning on seeing her again,” Joel says simply.

You glance at him. “You should probably tell her that. Didn’t really seem like she knew when she was fondling you under the table.”

Joel exhales deeply and shifts slightly, turning his body toward you, trying to make sure you hear him. “I did tell her, and she does know,” he says firmly. His gaze softens as he looks at you, his voice gentler now. “Sweetheart…I’m not gonna pursue anything with her. And I wouldn’t have agreed to the date if I’d known it would hurt you.”

You shake your head, not wanting to let the conversation go where it’s headed, your thumb rubbing over your wrist brace. “Can we please not talk about this right now?” you murmur, your voice tight, barely holding it together. “I’m sorry for bringing it up. Thank you for driving me home, I’ll see you– “

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Joel interrupts, his voice firm. “We had a good time, but that’s it.”

You blink, furrowing your brow and tilting your head slightly as his words begin to sink in. He watches you, waiting for your response, but when it doesn’t come, he shifts again, trying to close the distance.

“Hey,” Joel says softly, reaching for your left hand, his fingers gently wrapping around yours. He rubs your skin with his thumb, more to soothe himself than you. “I didn’t sleep with her.”

He searches your face, waiting for a reaction, any reaction. But you just sit there, unmoved, your expression frozen in place. There’s no relief, no anger, no hint of anything. Just…nothing.

The silence stretches, and Joel’s heart sinks. He doesn’t know exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Maybe he thought you’d smile, maybe he even hoped you’d fall into his arms, that this would be the moment things would start to feel okay again. But you’re distant, your face unreadable.

His eyes scan yours, searching desperately for something to hold on to, and what he finds hits him like a punch to the gut.

“You don’t believe me.”

You meet his eyes for just a second longer, a sad smile tugging at the corners of your lips before you nervously look away and whisper, “Look, I’m, uh– I’m extremely tired right now and this close to crying, so I’m gonna go upstairs and call it a night, okay?”

But Joel doesn’t let go of your hand. His grip tightens, just a little, his voice strained. “You really don’t believe me. You think I’m lying to you.”

“I don’t– Can we please do this another time?”

“I’d love to, but I feel like it’s important that we–”

“Joel.”

“–get this sorted out, so you don’t–”

“Joel, please.”

“–keep on thinking I’m a liar. I didn’t know you thought that ab–”

“Jesus Christ,” you snap, your voice trembling with frustration, “don’t you hear what I’m saying?” Without waiting for a response, you push open the car door and step out, the cool air hitting your skin. “I can’t fucking do this right now.”

The door slams shut behind you with a hard thud, cutting through the quiet of the parking lot.

Joel watches you for a moment, taken aback, then quickly follows, stepping out of the car. His eyes are full of concern, his brow furrowed as he watches you pace, but his voice is calm, steady, trying to reach you.

“Darlin’, I do hear you,” he says, taking a cautious step closer. “And I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it right now, I just…”

You spin around, exasperated. “You just what?”

“I just wanna know that you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, Joel,” you say, rubbing your temples. “Why in the world wouldn’t I be?”

He opens his mouth, trying to form a response, but before he can say anything, you cut him off, the words spilling out like a dam breaking.

“But it doesn’t even matter, okay? It doesn’t matter if I’m fine or not. I don’t have time to think about it.” Your voice cracks slightly, your throat constricting as you try to keep control. “Because now I gotta get to bed, so I can go to the office early tomorrow, ‘cause afterwards I’ll be sitting at a table with Tommy, who probably fucking hates me now. Do you have any idea how much that fucking sucks?”

Your voice lowers, the vulnerability creeping in despite your efforts to hold it back. “What if he…doesn’t want me in his life anymore?”

Joel shakes his head, vehemently. “Darlin’, that’s nonsense. He’s not mad at you. If anything, he’s mad at me. And I’m sorry for not asking you first, but you gotta understand that I was worried about you and thought this was the best solution.”

“Oh sure, yeah,” you scoff, bitterness lacing your words. “You know so much fucking better than I do. That’s it, right? Yeah, of course. Don’t you get how fucking weird this all is? It’s exactly what I was afraid of. You all talking about me behind my back, pitying me, judging me, and figuring out that you’re better off without me. That I’m not who you thought I was. That I’m not able to give you what you want.”

Joel hears the panic in your voice like he did yesterday, the way it’s rising, how your words are becoming more frantic. He gets the sense you’re not hearing him anymore, not really. You’re caught up in your own head, lost in the whirlwind of your fears. His mind flashes back to Tommy’s words. He can see it now, the way your frustration, your hurt is morphing into something darker, more overwhelming.

God, how he wishes he could just pull you into his arms right now. Hold you, protect you from the weight of everything that’s crushing you. But he knows, deep down, that he’s part of that weight.

No matter how good his intentions might have been.

“That’s not what happened at all,” Joel says, his voice calm, measured, even though his heart is racing. “We didn’t talk about you like that. I just needed Tommy to help me figure out where you might be, and I’m so glad he did. It was nice…sitting with you, holding your hand…”

You shake your head. “Good night, Joel.”

“Look, I– I know you’re going through something right now that makes you think I’m insincere,” he blurts out, “but I need you to know that I’m really just trying to help you.”

Your body stiffens, his words hitting a nerve. “I don’t need you to help me,” you snap. “I don’t wanna be your little damsel in distress, that’s not who I am.”

Joel flinches at the bite in your words, but he doesn’t back down. “I know that. And that’s not how I see you. I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself.” He pauses, his eyes searching yours, desperate for you to understand.

“But allowing help from the people who love us isn’t about being weak or incapable. You may not see it right now, but I’m on your side. And if anyone’s weak it’s me, ‘cause I can’t stand seeing you in pain like this.”

You sigh deeply and murmur, “I’m gonna go now,” your voice flat as you turn toward your apartment.

Joel steps forward cautiously, not wanting to push too hard, but he can’t just let you walk away without saying more. “I get it, it’s all too much. But please, just…don’t shut me out, okay? Call me if you need anything. Doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night. I’ll be here.”

You swallow hard, feeling the weight of his promise, but you’re too drained to respond. All you can do is nod.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he says softly, his voice full of regret. “I wish I could take some of this off you, make it easier somehow. But I’m not leaving, alright? Not now, not ever. ”

You nod again, your throat too tight to speak, and turn away, walking toward your apartment. Joel watches you go with his hands falling uselessly to his sides, his heart heavy, knowing there’s so much left unsaid, but hoping—praying—you’ll let him know when you’re ready.

Wow, well done.

Sitting on your sofa, you stare blankly at the black TV as the silence of your apartment settles around you, your mind already starting its cruel commentary.

That’s for sure going to make him think you’re a mentally stable person. No, seriously, why wouldn’t he want to be with you?

The thought twists inside you like a knife, but you can’t help it. The voice in your head is relentless, mocking your every move, dissecting your behavior from earlier.

You think you’re slick, don’t you? Pushing him away so you don’t have to face your feelings. Aren’t we way past that?

You sigh deeply as if that would quiet the storm inside you, but it doesn’t. Your self-reproach lingers, heavy and biting.

Still, you drag yourself to the kitchen, forcing yourself to eat a few bites of the leftover pasta sitting in your fridge. It’s tasteless, going down like sandpaper, but you know you need something in your stomach before you can take the painkillers. Your body aches, every muscle tensing under the weight of the unresolved strain still coiled within you.

You wash the food and the pills down with iced tea, grateful for the cold sweetness, because water turns your stomach right now. The pasta, the tea, they’re just fuel—a necessary evil before you can move on and hopefully find some peace in your sleep.

After you’ve eaten, you strip off your clothes and step into the shower, letting the hot water rush over you. You stand there for a while, eyes closed, trying to wash away everything. Joel’s concerned face, the hurt, the frustration, the embarrassment of how you acted. You let the water pound against your skin, hoping it’ll somehow cleanse more than just the sweat and grime from the day.

When you finally step out, you feel a little more like yourself, a little more human. Still shaky, but better.

By the time you crawl into bed, exhaustion drags you down like an anchor. You pull the blankets tight around you, hoping to find some comfort even though the dread of the day ahead lingers. Your phone is already in your hand, and you pull up Netflix, choosing something mindless to drown out the sound of your own thoughts. The chatter of the show hums in the background, but your mind barely registers it.

Your eyes grow heavier with each passing minute, and the warmth of your bed starts to pull you toward sleep. Everything starts to blur as the fatigue takes over.

But then, just as you’re about to drift off, your propped up phone vibrates loudly against the bedside lamp. The screen lights up, a small notification appearing at the top.

Joel Miller.

Your heart skips a beat, a strange mix of relief and anxiety rising in your chest. You blink away the sleep and swipe the notification open.

It’s a voice message, and the length—four minutes—makes your heart sink. You’re not sure you can handle whatever it is he has to say right now. It feels too heavy, too soon.

Your finger hovers over the play button, your mind running wild with possibilities.

What if something happened to him? What if he’s telling you he doesn’t want to see you anymore? What if you scared him off for good? Why else would the message be so long?

Before you can spiral further, another notification pops up.

Joel: Sleep well, baby 😘

You blink, staring at his message, and you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. He’s being sweet. Maybe this isn’t what you’re bracing for.

You take a deep breath, your heart still beating a little too fast, and press play.

At first, there’s a small pause, like he’s gathering his thoughts. Then you hear his voice coming through the speaker, soft and gentle, the familiar rasp of it cutting through the quiet of your bedroom.

“Hi darlin’. It’s me, Joel…Miller…obviously.”

Your smile widens. He’s such a dork.

“I know it’s late…and you’re probably already in bed. But I, uh…I wanted to say something. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I didn’t want you to go to sleep without hearing this.”

He sounds like he always does, calm, collected, but he’s being careful with his words. You shift under the covers, feeling more awake now, your body attuned to every note in his voice.

“I know you’ve been going through a lot on your own, and I don’t wanna make it worse by pushing or prying where I shouldn’t. But I just want you to know…I’m here. I’m here for you, no matter what. You don’t have to handle it alone, okay?”

There’s a small pause, and you hear him exhale, like he’s letting go of something he’s been holding in for too long.

“I don’t know if I always say the right things, and God knows I’ve messed up plenty…but you mean a lot to me. More than I can put into words right now. And I, uh, don’t expect you to have all the answers. Hell, I don’t even know if I do. But I wanna be there with you, figure it out together…if you’ll let me.”

Another deep breath.

“You’re never not on my mind, sweetheart, and I just…wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I felt it the first time I saw you, you know? You stood there, the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. And then you looked into my eyes. You looked into my eyes and that was it for me.”

Joel’s voice softens even more, almost like he’s afraid you’ll drift off before he’s finished. “I was thinking about Saturday, too. I got something in mind that I think’ll be good for both of us. Nothing big, just…I think you’ll like it.”

There’s a brief silence on the line as if he’s gathering himself, and then you hear it—the faint strum of a guitar. Your breath catches in your throat.

He’s playing for you.

His voice, low and gentle, hums the opening notes of a country tune you’ve never heard before. The sound drifts over you, warm and comforting, like being wrapped in a blanket of soft clouds and something that feels like home.

You close your eyes, letting the music take you, and as Joel begins to sing, his voice carries a depth of emotion that reaches deep inside you. The lyrics flow, full of a quiet tenderness, and you sink into the sound, letting it wash away your troubles:

“I’m just a lonesome traveler, Drifting down this road, But darlin’, when I’m near you, I know I’m not alone.”

You just listen, your heart swelling with the softness of it, with the fact that Joel is doing this for you. Never in a million years did you see this coming.

The song continues, the melody sweet and simple, his voice lulling you further into a sense of calm. It feels like everything else fades away—the weight of your past, the uncertainty of the future—and all that’s left is this moment, this gentle connection between you and him.

As he reaches the end of the song, his voice drops to an almost-whisper:

“But darlin’, when I hold you, I know I’ve found my home.”

The final note lingers in the air of your bedroom, and for a moment, you just lie there, your heart full, your body completely relaxed. You can barely keep your eyes open now, the edges of sleep tugging at you.

Still, you gather all of your remaining energy to text him back. You need to.

You: I’ll bring snacks on Saturday

You: Ever thought about switching careers btw? Cowboy boots, a hat and you’d make a fortune. Groupies, fame, rich old ladies letting you run wild with their credit cards…

You’ve barely pressed send when Joel responds.

Joel: Groupies, huh?

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice. Another buzz.

Joel: Nah, sweetheart. My music comes from the heart. It’s only for the people I love. Not for anyone else.

Thank you for reading! previous | Series Masterlist | AO3 | next

taglist: @dugiioh @eviestevie-14 @ghostofzion @joeldjarin @jupiter-soups

@koshkaj-blog @missladym @paleidiot @pattwtf

@pedritoferg @runningmom94 @serenadingtigers @sofiparallel @staywildflowahchild

@the-orange-tabby-cat @tuquoquebrute @witchofthedeepwoods @yassspose @rarachelchel

@cosmic006533-blog @ashleyfilm @am-3-thyst @joelinawrites @purpleprincess75

#fic: callisto #series: you wanted this #fwb!joel miller #fwb!joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller au #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller tlou #tlou fanfiction

236 notes · View notes

scentedpeachlandcreator · 10 months ago

Text

🏖️Summer edition:

My things to manifest edition.

🪼Going to the most expensive beach and island (ex: Hawaii..etc).

🪼Meeting a mermaid/merman while swimming.

🪼Can breath and see underwater.

🪼going with your Friends to the beach and having so much fun.

🪼Ability to serf.

🪼Can talk and understand fishes and other sea animals.

🪼Meeting your s/o (sp) in the beach.

🪼Achieving your ideal body before summer.

🪼Manifesting ideal swimsuit.

🪼Having a ride on expensive boat and chip.

🪼Manifesting your hair to never get dry or ugly after swimming (i hate that 😮‍💨).

🪼Finding lost items in the Sand (ex :expensive necklace,A ring…etc).

🪼Having a yacht.

🪼Finding your desired house/apartment to stay in.

🪼Manifesting a Magic necklace that turns you into a mermaid/merman.

🪼Eating at expensive restaurant.

🪼 Experiencing a romance like-movie in the beach.

🪼manifesting your skin tone to stay the same.

🪼your hair changing color if it touch water.

🪼Getting male/female attention/validation.

🪼Getting compliments from random person.

🪼 Meeting Amazing people.

🪼 Joining and playing volleyball with random people (my introverted ass could never 🥲).

🪼 Having a night walk in the Sand with your desired person.

🪼 Seeing a shooting star at the right moment.

🪼 Swimming skills.

🪼 Manifesting the weather to be perfect.

🪼 Random people asking for your phone number cause they thought you're cute/handsome.

🪼The sea to be clear (i can’t swim when there's fish everywhere 🥲).

🪼 manifesting a free trip or Travel.

Dividers credit to @cafekitsune.

#law of assumption #𓍢🌷᭝۪﹗Eli's Archives #loa #loa tumblr #loa blog #law of manifestation #how to manifest #things to manifest #fun things to manifest #loassumption #loablr

423 notes · View notes

littlerequiem · 3 months ago

Text

Drabble Month, Day 14: Scenic ˚⁎⁺ Levi x GN!Reader

CONTENT — Fluff, Modern AU. Written for @thedrabblecollective as part of the AOT Vets Drabble Month. Divider by @cafekitsune.

“What do you think?”

You’ve brought Levi to your favorite viewpoint, a secluded lighthouse by the beach. It’s the perfect spot to watch waves crash against the shoreline, to admire seagulls drift among clouds.

Levi doesn’t answer; he takes a step towards the edge of the cliff. The breeze picks up his dark hair, highlighting the delicate outline of his skull.

You join him, smiling as you tilt your mouth up to taste the salt in the air. “It's scenic, right? Even beautiful?"

“Yeah,” he murmurs. "Beautiful."

You're too busy looking up to notice that Levi's staring straight at you.

#drabblechallenge2024 #levi ackerman x reader #levi snk #snk #levi x you #levi ackerman #Levi x reader #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #events: drabble month 2024 #flo is writing . . .#drabbles: levi x reader sfw

150 notes · View notes

mydarlingclaudia · 6 months ago

Text

fish boy

note : divider is from @/cafekitsune. I also wrote this because I was inspired by this drawing by @sillydicejelly please go look at their art it’s very pretty! this is another summer fic because I’m not ready for summer to be over ugh. I liked writing this a lot but I did feel kinda silly towards the end

wc : 2.8k

tags : @lottiies

desc : he saves you from drowning and you come back each year, falling in love was easy. strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, I think angst (towards the end), not proofread, re2 and re4 Leon, gn!reader, au

It started back in 1997 when you were nineteen. Your family went to the beach for a week in the summer, like you do every year. Your family had a beach house there that they’d had since before you were born, you’d been going there your whole life, you’ve never noticed anything strange. Most days were the same; go into town, window shop and buy as much ice cream you could stomach, go home and swim until you couldn’t feel your arms, roast your skin, play with your cousins, eat, sleep, repeat.

But nothing stays the same forever, sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes that was a bad thing. But this change was just… odd.

One night you were just having a hard time, you and your mom had gotten into a fight earlier in the afternoon and it had just thrown off the rest of your day. You went out that night, maybe around ten after everyone had gone to bed, the wind was harsh, the water was harsher. That didn’t stop you from jumping into the water to try and let the cold water ease your mind.

It didn’t work, though. One big, unexpected wave had toppled you over in the deep water, and before you knew it, you were gulping down salt water, unable to tell up from down.

Miraculously, you didn’t die, even though you should have. You had lost consciousness, though. You didn’t know where you were when you woke up, all you could make out was a small shore, surrounded by cliffs and overgrown weeds, no one else in sight.

Except for a boy.

He was blonde, pretty, pale, too. There was something a bit odd about his face, but you brushed it off as your bleary eyes adjusting. You don’t remember what you said to him, mostly because you didn’t even know what you were saying when you said it, but he had helped you sit up and you rested against his shoulder, one of his hands awkwardly patting your back. It felt comfy, you could ignore the ache in your body and how heavy your lungs felt and just focus on his wet skin pressed against yours.

This must have been what Eric felt like when he was saved by Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

When your eyes finally did adjust, and you got a good look at him, you realized that the oddity of his face was scales that lined his cheekbones back towards his ears, and that his ears weren’t even ears, but webbed ones, like some sort of deep sea creature. You had backed away from him, a confused expression painted on your face while a slightly pained one was etched onto his.

Your eyes hadn’t been able to focus on a single part of him, flicking between his tail, his webbed hands, the gills that lined his throat, his sea-matted hair, the blue tint that surrounded his fingers and gills, everything. You had to be dead, there was no other explanation, but his voice had been so soft when he spoke to you, that you almost wanted to scoot closer again.

“Listen I-I just- you’re- I think I hit my head.” You had sputtered out, one of your hands flying up to feel against your head for any bumps.

“I checked already, you didn’t.” The fish boy had reassured you, pushing himself closer to you.

“I-I didn’t?” Your eyes were glued to him the whole time he had moved himself closer to him, you didn’t back away this time.

“You didn’t, I promise.” You flinched when he reached up to peel your hand away from your head, making him stop for a second, those pretty blue eyes of his robed over your face for another second before he pulled your hand away.

“So-so what? What happened?” He let go of your wrist, placing both his hands down on the sand, his eyes were yet to leave yours.

“You were gonna drown.”

“A-And you saved me?” He nodded, you let out a shaky breath. “So I’m not imagining this?” He shook his head this time. “Jesus, where are we?”

“By the lighthouse,”

“The lighthouse?! That’s like, what, four miles away? Goddamn.” You groaned, that explained why no one was around.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I-I guess.” You watched as his eyes trailed down to your bare legs.

“… I’ve never met a human before.” He mumbled.

“I’ve never met a mermaid- merman- uhm, fish boy, I dunno.” He looked you dead in the eye again for a few seconds, then let out a giggle and shook his head, you had smiled at him.

You had to admit that this strange creature was kinda cute, you didn’t doubt that he could probably overpower you, but he had been gentle with you so far. He stopped laughing as you stood up, watching the way the muscles in your legs flexed.

“Shit, my families gonna be wondering where I am.” You had told him, putting your hands behind your head and pacing around in a small circle.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to take you back.” You stopped your pacing, looking back down at him and the dumb smile he had on his face.

“You are?”

“I mean… yeah? Why would I save you just to leave you stranded?” He chuckled, you huffed.

“Well, thank you.”

He was a strong swimmer, that shouldn’t have surprised you, he had helped you swim along when you got too tired to do it. You had told him to just leave you at a spot along the beach that was secluded because it’s right where ships would dock and that you’d just walk the rest of the way back home. Before you had left, he had eagerly told you his name, you told him yours. The two of you had lingered for a few seconds longer than necessary, him in the water, you on land.

You felt like thanking Leon again wouldn’t be a good enough way to show your gratitude for saving you, you didn’t really know how to properly thank him yet, but you had suggested meeting in the same place the next day shortly after sunrise. Leon bit, eagerly.

You were surprised when Leon showed up the next day. And the day after that, the next day, too, and every day after. He’d bring you shells and sand dollars, you’d bring him human treasures (coins, candy, ice cream, anything).

Leon would let you look at him, because the more you looked, the more intrigued you became with him, and he liked that feeling. You found more blue scales littered across his arms, he let you touch them. You liked his tail a lot, all the pretty blue and tan scales that shimmered in the sunlight paired with strong fins that were rough to the touch.

You could spend hours talking to Leon, and you did, your family would ask you where you were running off to, you’d just say it was a boy in town, it wasn’t really a lie. He’d ask you about all the places you’ve been to on land, you’d ask him about the ocean.

Leaving was hard. You had promised him you’d come visit again, maybe even on your own a few times a year. But you had promised Leon that you would be back the same time next year. You’d never forget how he frowned and nodded his head, asking you for another keepsake. You gave him a bracelet you bought in town.

—

You had the whole year to look forward to seeing Leon again. When you arrived on the beach in 1998, you were almost certain he wouldn’t show. As far as you knew, mermaids didn’t have calendars, how would he know when a year passed? On the drive up you contemplated how long a year was to them, you almost gave yourself a nosebleed thinking about it. You would just have to ask Leon.

But Leon had shown, and he showed up with a grin on his face and the best shells he had gathered over the past year.

“What do you call those?” Leon had asked you, pointing a blue finger at the overgrown wildflowers sprouting out of the hill above you and him. You looked over your shoulder, sparing a glance to the purples and yellows of the flowers that gently swayed in the wind.

“Those? Those are flowers.” You said to him, taking another cookie from the ones you had baked and brought to him, still looking at the wildflowers. You quickly learned that if given the chance, Leon would eat just about anything, especially sweets.

“They’re pretty.”

“There are prettier ones.”

“There are?” You finally look back to him, he’s only a handful of feet away from you, the cookies and other treats you brought rested on top of a stool between the two of you. Leon was laying on his stomach, forearms keeping him propped up as his eyes locked onto you, gentle waves rolling over his tail and reaching your feet, the two of you hidden away at the part of the docks no one ventured to.

“Sure, sunflowers, snapdragons, lilacs, chrysanthemums, tulips… I could go on forever.”

“… Would you bring me some?”

“Of course.”

And you did, you brought Leon as many flowers as you could carry, he was worth a pretty penny for all of these flowers. You were no expert on plants, but the night before you brought him the flowers, you took out a book at the library on them, just to know each one’s meaning so that if he asked, you’d be prepared.

Leon asked about anything he could think of, he always did. You were the same, in a way. You’d never been all that curious about the ocean until Leon came into your life.

You watched Leon with a softness in your eyes you don’t think you’ve ever even looked at a boy with when he’d twirl the flower stem between his fingers and study each individual petal, you wanted him to look at you like that.

“I wish I could take these back with me.” Leon had mumbled to you, eyes still glued to a tulip.

“Maybe you can, I don’t know how well they’ll hold up in the water, though.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” His eyes shifted from the flower in his hand up to your face, his smile dropping a tiny bit. “These are beautiful, I don’t want to just remember them.”

You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to tell him that you couldn’t keep everything you wanted, but you knew that you were keeping Leon as close as you could and that telling him that would be hypocritical.

“I’ll buy you as many flowers as you want.” You told him before you could even finish the thought, but you meant each word. Seeing his face light back up made your heart skip a few beats in your chest.

“You will?”

“If it’ll make you happy.”

“Yeah, it would.” Leon had smiled at you, you got out of your beach chair and scooted next to him in the sand, reaching a hand out to run over his wet back before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders in a hug. Leon had gone stiff for a few seconds, your grip loosened on him, he took that opportunity to move and wrap his arms around your waist. He didn’t let you go for a long time.

—

Years came and went, your visits with Leon stayed the same. You spent most of your summer at the beach now, talking with Leon, swimming with him, eating with him, any excuse you could find to be with him, you were there.

August of 2004 is nearing its end, it’s late right now, you don’t know whether it’s before or after midnight. You’re soaked through to the bone, salt water clings to your cold skin as you lay on a beach towel. Leon is next to you, he’s never not near you when you’re at the beach.

Leon gets more and more handsome each time you see him. You’re not sure what’s going on under the surface of the water, but something has hardened him. His eyes are a bit colder, he’s gotten a bit stronger, he’s more serious about things.

You don’t think you ever really knew Leon, you liked to think you did, but he’d never be able to come into your world and you’d never be able to go into his without an oxygen tank strapped to your back. You had to settle for this.

Leon’s never mean to you, though. He still asks questions, he still brings you shells, he still loves flowers. He’s gotten more touchy, he likes your legs, you continue to like his tail.

Leon shifts beside you, rolling onto his side to face you, you do the same.

“When are you leaving?” He asks.

“I’m not sure yet.” You couldn’t stay at the beach forever, you tried to work jobs that were more lenient, but you still need to eat and have a roof to sleep under. Your family notices how you keep returning to the beach for longer periods each year, they think you’ve fallen in love. You have.

“Just be sure to say goodbye.” Leon says this each time you have to leave, you always say goodbye, you’d never just leave him without telling him you wouldn’t be back for a while. You don’t say anything as Leon sits up, reaching for a tulip from the bouquet of flowers you brought, you grab one as well.

It’s silent between the two of you, you’re picking off the petals of your flower, reciting “he loves me, he loves me not” in your head repeatedly, you haven’t done this since middle school.

“If I had legs…” Leon starts, you stop what you’re doing, pausing on a he loves me petal. “Would you take me with you?”

“Take you where?”

“Just with you. I just… I just wanna be around you for more than a few weeks.” Leon’s words both warm your heart and make it clench at the same time, you turn your attention back to your flower, picking off more petals.

“Of course I would. I’d take you anywhere you wanted.” Your eyes flick to his face, catching his smile.

“I miss you, y’know.” You stop again, he loves me not.

“I’m right here.”

“I mean when you’re gone.” Leon huffs beside you, letting his hands fall down to his lap, still holding the tulip. “I don’t like when you leave. Every single day for the past six years I’ve swam up to shore waiting for you, even when I knew you weren’t going to be there. You’re the first human I’ve ever met, I’m pretty sure you’re the kindest one out there, too. You can go anywhere you want in the world and I’d never know it. I just want to see you.”

“And I want you to come with me,” You admit with a shaky breath. “Believe me, I think about you everyday, I try and find things that I can bring to you, I try to be here more than I probably should be. If- If we were able to be around each other every waking moment, I’d spend my life with you.”

“… I don’t want to be in the sea anymore.”

“Leon, you have no idea how easy I wish it was for us.” You can feel tears pricking at your eyes, you look away from Leon, the only petal left on your tulip is he loves me.

“Would you ever move here? To the beach?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“Then do it.” Leon meant it as a demand, but he said it so softly it sounded like he was begging. You toss your tulip to the side and look back at him, scooting closer, letting sand stick to your skin as you leave your towel.

Leon is still blonde, he’s still pretty, he’s still pale. His skin is still wet to the touch and you’ve come to love the scales plastered onto his skin, he’s not awkward when he holds you anymore, and there’s a different ache in your lungs when you’re around him that certainly isn’t you being waterlogged.

You bring a hand up to cup his face, his webbed hand closes around your wrist, leaning into your touch.

“I love you,” He murmurs against your palm, pressing a kiss to it.

“I love you, too.” You whisper to him. Leon doesn’t pull away from you, he never does until he absolutely has to. His hand slides up to latch onto yours, he holds it against his chest and leans in until his forehead is resting against yours.

“Please, say it again.”

“I love you.” You’re the one who leans in for the kiss. The summer you first met, you had found yourself laughing at the thought of kissing him because you thought he’d taste like fish. Instead, he tastes like salt water you’ve swallowed more than enough times, you’d drown in it knowing it tastes like him.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil x reader

323 notes · View notes

strawberry-lemonade-kisses · 7 months ago

Text

Tags - Dragon! Kyojuro, Fem Reader, PIV, Porn with Plot, Blood, marking, slut shaming? details of body transformation, lewd comments, cursing

WC - 19,380

Divider by /Cafekitsune

An illness, that’s what they had said, killed a large part of the dragons. But the eyes in the room knew differently, the fire in the gazes of the dragons told a different story. Anger, Despair, Unnerve. Every emotion was directed at you, and it felt suffocating, but you were prepared for that. As one of the surviving members of the royal bloodline it was your marriage and sacrifice that would ensure the dragons wouldn’t go back on the treaty that had been signed. They would help the kingdom of Ravenhill with expanding into the mountains, help with flattening the land and defending the people who moved out of the inner city for the next 100 years. In exchange the kingdom of Ravenhill guaranteed the safety and protection of the beaches and cliffs that the dragons resided in, digging deep burrows and overtaking caves, Even forming homes under the water. Though the treaty was signed by the former king and queen, your aunt and uncle, it was up to you and your siblings to make sure it would be followed through.

“Do you Princess Y/N of kingdom Ravenhill take King Kyojuro to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” Breaking from your thoughts you looked up at the man whose hands held your own, the unblinking multicolored eyes that watched you every move. Atop his head sat two long black horns, the tips looked like they had been dipped in blood, like his blond hair that faded into red. gold chains wove between the horns decorated with jewels and stamped gold to look like leaves. This was what you assumed their crowns looked like. He was different, not particularly unlike yourself, but the wings he had tried to tuck into his back and the sharp point of his teeth that stick out even when he isn’t smiling was a reminder that this wasn’t love. This was you doing your duty, ensuring the happiness and success of the dragons.

“I do” You smiled, practiced, and poised, the picture of elegance in your wedding attire. Though the corset was too tight, your ribs begging for relief and your breasts threatening to bust the top it was a beautiful garment, off the shoulder chiffon sleeves that fell almost to your knees, the tulle skirt that trailed to the first seats of guests and the red sash that was tied in a neat bow along your hips.

“And do you King Kyojuro of the Ashra kingdom take Princess Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

“I do” The small smile given to you by your soon-to-be husband made you nervous, but you swallowed that down, there was no chance of you running or people would be killed. Going back on a treaty as big as this that had already cost the dragon kingdom so much would no doubt be the end of Ravenhill. You continued to assess the man in front of you, He was ginormous, much like the rest of the dragons, all tall and bulky, Even the women had curves and muscle that was unfamiliar in your kingdom. You had no doubt it was part of the dragon in them, the muscles not familiar to the human body condensed into their much smaller forms. Though you had guessed he stood at 6 foot he was one of the shorter of the 9 that ran the dragon kingdom. Their land was extensive, and the different abilities made them that much stronger. King Kyojuro was the Flame Dragon. Though rumor had it that he was so much more than that, Lava was rumored to be a secret of his, but you hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone who could confirm that.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride” the warmth of Kyojuro’s hands left your own, coming to cup your cheeks, though it felt like if he squeezed his hands would crush your skull. The kiss was quick, just a gentle press of his lips upon your own but the care he put into his was understood. He was careful about his teeth, trying not to smile into the kiss or show any teeth. His hands were shaking as he stepped back, taking hold of one of your hands as he bowed to all the guests, the applause of everyone followed the two of you as you left the castles chapel, being led straight to the honeymoon suite by your sister and his own sister. Her pink and green hair had been braided and wrapped into a makeshift crown atop her head, Between the white horns that sat in her hair were flowers, adding to the whimsy of her overall look. She was one of the nine kings and queens of their kingdom, although she stood not much taller than yourself the muscles in her back were enough to keep you hesitant. Your sister didn’t seem to get that message, chatting away as they led you to the honeymoon suite.

“You will love Tengen he is a wonderful man, and though he is loud it is only his nature. Plus, he has such a good eye for treasure, if you are lucky, he will take you on a ride to the northern isles where the audial dragons go to practice, and he had such a large collection of- “

“-Mitsuri, that is enough. Please. I understand that you are excited, but you need to remember that there is a duty first.” The female dragon deflated, her head dropping to look at her feet as she continued walking.

“I understand we are all here for marriages of convenience, to continue the Ashra kingdom’s lines and help the dragons repopulate after the” Your sister paused, trying to find the right wording “Unfortunate demise of many of your people. But surely there can be happiness in these marriages. We are the heads of our kingdoms and our lines now. We can have babies but that shouldn’t stop us from being happy.” The walk was silent besides the clack of heels and rustling of clothes. Your marriage was the beginning of the alliance with the dragons. You would marry Kyojuro, your sister would marry the Audial dragon Tengen, and Your eldest brother would marry the Poison dragon Shinobu. This was to help strengthen the bonds between the kingdoms but also begin to replace the dragons lost due to the rockslides in the mountains. It was a freak accident one no one could have predicted, but people had paid for it. Not only did it kill the former king and queen of Raven hill, but it killed 86 dragons, Including a few of the cherished dragon elders.

“I am sorry Mitsuri, I do not mean to snap” Mitsuri turned back to you and your new husband shining a bright smile at Kyojuro.

“I understand, there is a lot of pressure. Neither of us have large kingdoms and now is the time we need to join together, but we have time. I don’t think we can rush this, especially when stress destroys the mating ritual, and your stress will get you nowhere. Cool the hot head before I bring Mui to your honeymoon home.” Kyojuro released what you assumed was a chuckle, but it was just a deep rumbling in his chest. There was a lot to learn about your new husband. Thankfully the honeymoon is scheduled to last two weeks, enough time to get to know each other.

The honeymoon home was a small bungalow in the back gardens of the castle, overlooking a pond. Though it was supposed to be the home of a married royal for the first year of their marriage to provide them privacy, it would be your home for only two weeks before you would move into the Ashra kingdom with your husband.

“I know it’s been a long day already, but would you like to join me in the study? I would like to get to know you some more. I feel our previous meetings have been very quick and I’m afraid I don’t know much about the dragons and um, the thing your sister had mentioned earlier.” Kyojuro was shedding the outer part of his robes, the black fabric sliding off his shoulders, revealing lighter clothing, a thin gray silk shirt that left nothing to imagination. The fabric was very see through, revealing each scale and muscle around his torso.

“Apologies, I run hot, and all of this becomes too much.” He placed a light cape over his shoulders, covering his shoulders and landing above the grooves of his wings, still tucked into him. Although the bungalow was bigger, he seemed to take up most of the bedroom, you worried he wouldn’t fit in the bed. “I would enjoy some talking, I am done with all of this business today, seems never-ending.” He huffed, a small puff of smoke escaping his nose as he turned to the bed, folding the robes he had shed.

The two of you sat in different seats, you on the Chaise and your husband in a recliner. There was a thick silence as you tried to think of where to start. You knew virtually nothing about your husband besides his first and last name and which dragon he was.

“Your weddings are quite different than what I am used to, in our kingdom it is an exchanging of our scales. The scales on our chests are the hardest and rarest. Back when dragons were hunted, they would take the scales from our chest and add them to armor or even crush it and mix it into the walls of your buildings. I don’t know if it did anything for the buildings, but the armor is very sought after. The exchange though is a trust, it takes many years to regrow one of those scales so to give it to someone is a vow and a vulnerability to that person. Your weddings are just words that are very breakable.”

“I do not have scales to give you, I feel the closest thing would be my skin and I need that, maybe blood? The life force?” Kyojuro laughed at your notion.

“That is precious, no I will not ask for your blood, or your skin. I simply ask for a good life, and of course some children“ The main reason you were here felt like a slap in the face. You had forgotten about the weight of babies hanging over your head.

“Of course. Babies are first, which is why I really wanted to talk. Your sister mentioned a mating ritual. Um, what is that? Is it like the birds where you must create a nest of pebbles and shiny objects to impress me? I don’t have to like” You stopped, trying to figure out how to put this eloquently. “Do I have to lay eggs?” Kyojuro sat silently, the shock on his face evident as he stared with widened orange faded eyes.

“Goodness no! Eggs?! Do I look like I hatched from an egg?”

“Not necessarily, but you must understand where I come from. You turn into a dragon at will. I do not think my body can handle birthing a dragon, I may die.” The serious look on your face had Kyojuro holding back chuckles.

“I do not plan on killing you with my children. Our children will come out human, maybe a bit on the bigger side but human. The first change usually happens around 8 years of age. With the biggest growth spurt but it can happen at any age after a year. The powers don’t develop until puberty thank goodness, we have time to fireproof things.”

“And lava?”

“Lava? Is that still going around?” Kyojuro sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knee. “I do not produce lava like you have been told. It was an act of playing between the stone dragon and me. We wanted to see what would happen if we were to mix the two. A very similar thing happened with the audial dragon and the void dragon. Also, please understand we are not siblings, all nine of us. We are the strongest in our respective powers, we work well together, and we can lead together. Siblings by nature, not blood.” That cleared quite a lot up. Your home wouldn’t be melted by baby dragons and maybe you won’t burn alive before birth. “To answer your other question since you seem curious, the mating ritual happens in dragon form” Your eyes bulged at the thought, dragon form, the big one, the size of his head was more than likely bigger than your entire body. You would die, your husband would kill you. “It is not like that. I can see your thoughts spinning from here. It is a bonding even deeper than our marriages. We simply mark our partner, choose them and show others that they are yours. At the same time the mating ritual once it is sealed is when we are at our most fertile. I’m sure it can be done in this form it’s just a use of our powers mainly, some just have better control in dragon form, like the stone dragon.” He sat back “Any other questions? Or may I ask some?”

“No please, I’m so sorry. Ask away, I didn’t mean to interrogate you for all your secrets.” He let out a jovial laugh, throwing his head back in the chair.

“You are quite a joy to speak to, not very royal as the former King and queen of Ravenhill.” Your aunt and uncle, the only parents you truly knew. Grief was a funny thing, with everything going on you didn’t have time to process the fact that they were truly lost, never to return. You wouldn’t see your uncle fling peas with his spoon at your brother, you wouldn’t listen to the story of their first meeting, an arraigned marriage between a viscounts daughter and the crown prince. You wouldn’t hear ‘I love you’ come from the painted lips of your aunt and a brief grunt that said the same from your uncle. Sitting here, finally getting to think. It hurt.

“I’m sorry, for the loss. I know some of our people have put the blame on the Raven’s, but it was an accident no one could have seen coming and you have lost cherished ones as well.” His eyes were sincere as he looked down at you in the chaise, surely your face gave away your thoughts, or could he read you so easily already?

“I’m sorry for your people’s loss as well, if we didn’t want to expand, we could have saved everyone. Maybe the kingdom is selfish” Kyojuro shook his head, reaching across the divide to grab your hand.

“Our kingdoms both want better for our people, it’s why we made the treaty. Between the nine of us and the three of you, I think we can do it.” You nodded.

Evening came as you talked, joked a bit and tried to untangle the chains among Kyojuro’s horns. You tried until your lady in waiting arrived with a cart of your dinner, expressing after you eat that she had to take your wedding dress back to the castle for your sister. Dinner was a quieter affair, The two of you simply enjoying the spread of delicious fruits, meats, soups, and even desserts. It was a lavish spread, one that was too much even for your dragon husband. As he sat and digested you excused yourself to the hot springs not far from the bungalow, wanting a nice soak to get all of the perfumes and powders off of you. A cove tucked away from prying eyes and a sense of solitude.

The water was a haven, an escape from all the recent stress and an opportunity to think about where you were at. Married at such a young age, now officially a Queen, and within a few years you would be a mother. Things were changing at such a rapid pace you didn’t know how to really feel about it all. Ruling was never in your cards, your aunt and uncle were still young, closer to your age than your deceased parents. You and your siblings were never to rule, only to run projects and deal with the lords and ladies of the court. As the adopted children of the king and queen your brother alexander as the oldest was to take over, but the transfer of power was split to make up for the deaths and instability in the Ashra kingdom, you could all deal with things differently. You were the youngest, only a year younger than your sister Diane. Your wedding was already set in stone before the accident, an official partnership between the two kingdoms. Rengoku Kyojuro, the Flame dragon, your new husband. He wasn’t what you had expected. He was kind, he cared deeply for the people around him, even strangers such as yourself. Now you felt like new friends, knowing each other a little more and even having the experience of trying to figure out the chains that wove around his horns. The failed endeavor brought much laughter and gave you a sense of normalcy. This wasn’t a marriage built on love, but it didn’t have to be miserable.

“Do you mind if I join?” Your thoughts dissipated as a voice joined you. Looking up from the water you were greeted with Kyojuro, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t look away. The scales and skin that covered his body were a depiction of art. It was all protection, but it was something unseen to yourself. His body was carved, each muscle accented with scales, like decoration for his hard work. The reflection of the red scales shone on the water as he stepped into the springs. You finally looked away, clearing your throat to distract yourself from wandering too far. “I was told I would find you here. I’m sorry to interrupt” He was already steps away from you, gazing down at the bits of skin he could see in the water. “Sort of” the relaxed tone gave you chills as you tried to avoid his eyes, looking at the basket of shampoos, soaps, and various other bath remedies.

“I believe I saw some Oils that relax the body. Excuse me” any excuse to get away from your husband who was carved by the gods and given to you on a silver platter was a good excuse. You were terrified, He was very attractive but what if he crushed you? A glorious death no doubt, but still embarrassing. A hand on your elbow stopped you from getting far. He was crowded behind you, bare chest against your back as you stared ahead, shocked at his speed. He was warm against your back, soft hands caressing the skin of your stomach, not wandering far but keeping you against him. Keeping you aware of him.

“When they announced a marriage would need to be made between our kingdoms, I was hesitant but out of the nine of us I was voted as the best candidate. Something deep down told me it would be good, The marriage, the bride. They didn’t, however, tell me how stunning my bride would be, how easygoing and funny she would be” He was next to your ear as he spoke lowly, lips teasing the shell of your ear. “They failed to inform me of how soft she would be” His words ended with a kiss under your ear. “How” another kiss “Appetizing, she would be” His hand on your stomach was hard to ignore paired with his words, the vibrato of his voice sent shivers down your spine, delight igniting along your entire body.

“Kyojuro I- “

“Husband. I’m your husband now.” You turned your head, looking at him over your shoulder. Hungry, that’s how he stared at you, like he was a man starved for weeks and you were a buffet. HIs eyes held a darkness that lit a fire in you, ready to drop everything for him.

“My husband” You stopped, watching his eyes flutter shut and a purr like noise rumble in his chest. “I enjoyed getting to know you tonight, I would like to get to know you more, but I’d prefer it somewhere, softer perhaps?” You spun in his arms, fully facing him. Your chest against his chest as your fingers raised to rest on his chest. His muscles flexed under your touch. You were a conductor leading a symphony on his body.

“I know a place, meet me outside the springs, please.” The grin on his face excited you, but it made your stomach flutter, nerves igniting as he quickly made his way out of the water, forgoing a towel or any type of cover to hide his nudity.

The robe you had brought was a perfect cover against the cool night air as you made your way out of the cove. Greeting you outside the entrance was something you never would have expected to come upon. The large head of a red dragon staring you down like its next meal. You yelped in surprise causing it to flinch before looking back at you. The orange ombre of its eyes told you all you needed to know. Your new husband in his full glory. He dropped his head, letting it rest on the ground in invitation. You hesitated, seeing the fang stick out from his lips and feeling the hot breath with each exhale he takes. He rumbled, displeased with your hesitancy. You raised a careful hand, placing it among the rad scales that decorated his maw. He was warm to the touch, like a space heater, almost too hot.

“What are you doing?” He grumbled again, a long leg moving towards you, the claw landing near your foot as he glanced down then back at you, an invitation. “Are we going somewhere?” another noise of annoyance with all your questions. You nodded, he wanted you to climb up, you were going somewhere softer, warmer, just like he said. Climbing onto a huge dragon was a struggle, but Kyojuro was patient, moving his shoulders to hoist you further until you were sat between his shoulder blades, gripping onto one of the black trimmed spikes protruding from his back. You held on for dear life as he moved, slowly at first as he picked himself up from the ground and walked further into a clearing. There was a pause in his movement before he crouched then leapt, taking to the skies in seconds. The wind left you breathless, your eyes burning with the speed and force of it. Kyojuro was quick to level off, gliding through the skies as you tried to keep your eyes shut, face down on his back.

“Kyojuro!” You screamed in terror as he started to dive after a few minutes of easy gliding, nothing exciting until now. The wind was unforgiving, and you could feel your fingers slipping against the force of it. Your thighs squeezed against the dragon, trying to use your whole body to hold on and not plummet to your death. After what seemed like forever he eased up. You could feel the jolt of his body as he hit the ground, scales shuddering against your body, and he flopped. Once he stopped moving you looked up, making sure you were on the ground and not weightless, falling to your death. You felt like kissing the ground while you slid off his back, careful with your steps so you didn’t hurt him. Your legs felt like jelly against the ground causing you to stumble before ultimately falling onto your knees. You huffed accepting your fate as you sat back onto your knees, eyes shutting as you took in the smell of nature.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kyojuro broke your concentration with his voice. “Found this field on a flight with the others, been visiting as preparations have been made. Somehow, I knew you would look beautiful in this field, among these flowers.” You took the time to look at your surroundings, take in the setting sun and the miles of flora. It was a storybook field, The blossoms in full bloom leading to a rainbow of color. It was a breathtaking sight. “Under the moonlight the flowers seem to glow, would you like to see that?” He sounded so close, but you dared not turn around, you knew what was going to happen. It terrified you as much as it excited you.

“Kyojuro. I would really like to see that” Your voice was soft. There was a hum, close enough to you that your hair stood on end. Hands gripped at your waist before you felt him press himself against you, like a raging inferno against your back, even through the robe he felt hot.

“Then I’ll have to keep you here for a while, won’t I?” Moving from your waist to your chin his hand turned you to face him. His face was flushed, hair windswept like he was the one flying and not the dragon version of him. You weren’t sure what his transformation looked like but that thought passed as quickly as it came. His breath still smelled like the chocolate mousse you dined on for dessert, rich, dark, and seductive as he leaned in. Your eyes fluttered shut as he grew closer, anticipation causing you to lean up, wanting to feel him. His lips were cautious against your, soft and slow as he got used to the feeling of your lips against his. He dared not press into you until you asked or made the move yourself. You turned fully into your husband, arms wrapping around his neck as you rose to your knees, pulling him against your body. That movement broke any restraint he had on himself. He pulled you impossibly closer, hands holding onto you by the string of your robe, teasing with the opening of the robe. He kissed like a man Who had never felt the touch of love before, like he had never wanted something more in his life. It was rough, wet, and the occasional graze of his teeth against your lip was a reminder of just who you were dealing with. His kisses moved from your lips, to your chin and along your jaw. His hands were moving you just so he could get to you, exactly how he wanted you. One hand holding your jaw and the other untying your robe.

“Kyojuro” You were breathless as he moved down your neck, He groaned into your neck before pulling away. He was breathing heavily, pupils blown as he looked down at you. His palm held your cheek carefully. You were slow as you sat back, removing the tie of your robe, and pushing it off your shoulders. Kyojuro’s eyes did not leave you as each inch of skin was revealed to his eyes.

“My queen” His wings shifted behind him, rustling like a shiver ran through them. Once you were fully bare you looked up, meeting the eyes of your husband.

“My king” His eyes shut, a groan rippling from his throat like the words themselves gave him pleasure. You took the chance to admire the work of art in front of you, his bronzed skin decorated with flaming red scales, some that looked like they were dipped in ink, the tips darker than the void dragons flames. He was strong, his body shaped like a warrior, scars were scarce, but they still existed like the one on his chest. It looked like a bomb had hit him, like a piece of his chest had been taken out and healed over. Your hands didn’t stop as they wandered the plane of his pecs, grazing over the scales that lined his sides and decorated his abdomen. You leaned forward, lips parting as you kissed the healed skin over his chest, looking up to meet the eyes of your husband as he cupped your cheek again. There were no words, but all feelings were understood as you rose to meet his kiss again, lips parting for him. He moved forward, body crowding yours as you moved back to lean on your elbows, laid out under him on the silk of your robe. His lips did not leave yours, his hands wandering your body. He left goosebumps in his wake, body igniting with heat. You were sure you were soaking the robe underneath you as his hands wandered your body. His own excitement was more noticeable as he pressed against you, hardened cock pulling a gasp from you as he ground against your soaked folds. He pulled away, huffing for breath as he looked down at you. Cautious hands moved the hair out of your face as you huffed a breath, he was so sexy and intimidating but hadn’t failed to be kind and gentlemanly. Just in a day you had seen many sides to this man, and you were already excited for many more. His head dove to your neck, littering kisses along your collar bone before he trailed lower, slowly he kissed down your body. His lips stopped between your breasts, lavishing each mound in kisses, making sure every inch was touched by his lips. As your breath grew heavier his lips moved faster. He looked up at your flushed face as he gave a tentative lick to your left nipple, his longer tongue making an exaggerated flick against the hardened bud.

“Ah, Kyo” You gasped, he grinned at the noise mimicking the motion before he wrapped his lips around you, sucking and licking at the bud. Moans and gasped spilled out of you as she showed your other breast the same attention, humming in pleasure as you enjoyed it. With a resound pop he pulled away from your chest, spit covering his chin. You smiled back as he shuffled down your body, teeth nipping at the skin of your hips as he got closer, wide shoulders Pushing your thighs further apart so he could fit between them. His lips did not stop moving, trailing down your thighs and moving in closer to where you wanted him most. He paused, letting you whine in anticipation before he dove in. His tongue laved at your pussy like he was drinking from the fountain of youth, slurping, and groaning like it was the finest thing he had tasted. His tongue flicked at your clit, teasing and toying before he flattened his tongue and licked from bottom to top. The stimulation had you singing praises, thighs trembling as he strummed your pleasure like an instrument. Your hands gripped at your own skin, dancing between the meat of your thighs and your hips, unsure where to go but needing some grounding. Kyojuro did not stop his ministrations as he removed one of his hands from your thighs, raising it to your stomach as invitation for you to hold onto. You did not hesitate, gripping onto his hand like a lifeline as he continued to feast on you, stringing you higher until you were nearly breathless. He pulled away, heaving for breath. He looked up, moving your hand that held his to the black horns that stuck out of his hair.

“Hold on to me” He breathed, giving you moments to grab onto him before he went back to work. With both of his hands free he pulled apart your folds, admiring the mixture of his saliva and your pleasure. His other hand teased your hole, circling it, coating his fingertips in slick before he inserted one finger, watching your face as you gasped. He lavished you in praise, whispering comfort into you as he pumped his finger into you, it was not long before he added another, watching your back arch off the robe. He didn’t stop, continuing his pace as he added his tongue, licking and sucking your clit. You couldn’t control your moans if you wanted to gripping onto Kyojuro’s horns like you would float away without it. Your orgasm was rolling to a peak faster than you could comprehend, so much stimulation in such a short amount of time. You squeaked, trying to announce your orgasm to him but that didn’t stop him. His tongue did not stop nor did his fingers, if anything they moved faster, desperate to have you cum on him. You came with a sharp cry, almost a scream as you clenched around the man’s fingers. He slowed his ministrations before pulling out his fingers, not stopping his tongue until he had convince himself you were cleaned up. You shook with the overstimulation, Thighs vibrating against his shoulders. Kyojuro sat back on his heels, Chin soaked in your essence and the biggest grin on his face, all sharp teeth and pride. His hands rubbed soothing circles in your hip, trying to provide comfort while you came back to earth, the after-orgasm fog lifting from your brain.

“You are the most magnificent woman I have ever met in my life.” You gave him an exhausted smile, accepting his hand as he helped you sit up. You couldn’t ignore his hardened cock as you sat so close, it bobbed with each breath he took, red tip almost angry with how turned on he was. It glistened with pre-cum, shiny and tantalizing. You moved without a word, fingers wrapping around the base of his cock. He hissed a breath, Wings fanning out behind him. You paused, admiring the sight before you, the setting sun shining on him like a gift of the heavens, coating him in gold lighting. His wings were the same color as his scales, Glistening in the light. He was like a god, offering himself to you and you didn’t hesitate to take him. Your hand wrapped snuggly around his girth. He wasn’t as long as you had imagined but his girth made up for it, thick and heavy against your palm. You dragged your hand up his cock, Thumbing the tip. You spread the pre along his head, dipping your head to lick up the extra. Kyojuro shuddered above you as you gave kitten licks to the head. Your hand continued to stroke him as you teased the head of his cock.

“Please” He whined grabbing the hand that stroked his cock. “I will not last like this. Please, let me” you removed your hand, sitting back up as he tried to compose himself, taking deep breaths and folding his wings against his back. You reclined on the Robe, spread like a dessert buffet ready for a man with a sweet tooth.

“My queen”

“My king” you smiled as he climbed over you, hovering above you with a wicked grin plastered on his face, still shining from earlier mess.

“Is this okay?” You nodded, looping your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer, giving him a quick kiss.

“Yes, Please Kyojuro” He gave you a quick kiss, looking down so he could adjust. You widened your thighs, giving him room as he aligned his cock with you. He looked at you once again, waiting for you to nod before he pushed in. Slowly he entered, giving shallow thrusts aas you gasped. You knew he was thick, but his cock felt huge inside of you, every vein, every bump could be felt as he went deeper with each thrust. The noise from both your bodies sounded filthy. You were thankful to be alone because the clap of your skin as he thrust himself to the hilt was sinful. You moaned as he pulled out, quickly gaining a steady rhythm as he worked. He was sweating above you, soft grunt leaving his lips and he occasionally bent down to kiss you.

“So good” he praised, grabbing the flesh of your hips so he could rock into you a bit harder. Your moans increased with his added pressure, his praise and his touch. Once again it felt like somehow, he had known you better than you knew yourself, he played your body like a fiddle and there was nothing you could do but take it. Your orgasm rose with the pass of his thumb over your clit, lips attaching themselves to your collar as he mumbled more praise into your skin.

“So pretty, so tight. Not gonna last” he was mindless as he spoke, lost in the heat of you and the feel of what was too soon to be love but felt quite similar.

“Kyojuro” you begged, gripping onto his back, nails grazing the skin of his wings. The appendages fanned out as you scratched at his back, begging for more but crying out too much. It wasn’t long before Kyojuro let out a deep rumbled, hips thrusting shallowly as he panted above you. Your orgasm washed over with his slow thrusts, thumb drawing circles in your clit to ignite that fire in you. You came with a low moan, taking Kyojuro’s mouth against your own so you could taste him while you experience such ecstasy. As you came down from your high Kyojuro slowly pulled out, grimacing at the mess he made before flopping next to you. He gave you a sleepy smile as you turned to face him, trying to ignore the cum you could feel dripping out of you.

“I Fear we may have already gotten you pregnant” he tried to joke, pushing the sweaty hair out of his forehead as he tried to catch his breath.

“I don’t know. We may have to try a few more times.” His eyes widened, already winded at the thought of going again.

“You sweet minx, you shall be the death of me” He laughed, pulling you into his arms, placing a kiss on your sweaty forehead.

You woke up with a start, sitting up in alarm as you looked around you. Miles upon miles of flowers spread around you, reminding you that yesterday and last night was not a dream. The soreness you felt in your hips and the bruises around your body were another reminder. Your husband was fast asleep next to you, scaled arm still wrapped around your middle as he snored, deep rumbles of sleep trapped in his chest. It Had to be early morning, the sun was barely over the horizon, still rubbing the sleep from its eyes but waking the world up anyways. You embraced it, the natural warmth, the beautiful surroundings, it was a perfect morning. You took the scenery and the quiet of your morning to admire who you woke up next to, the man you got to call your husband from now until the end of time. You felt lucky, Kyojuro was nothing short of the perfect man. He was kind, funny, adventurous, he knew his duties and wasn’t afraid to speak for what he wanted, he didn’t seem to shy away from the hard stuff and he had treated you like a piece of fine jewelry, with all the care in the world. Even after one full day together you decided this could be a happy marriage, you might even be able to fall in love. Not to mention he was the picture of beauty, a child of the sun. His golden hair that landed near his lower back, the tips dipped in red, similar to the curved horns on his head, the black dipped in red. It wasn’t as shiny as the scales that covered most of him, but it was beautiful all the same. The focal point was his wings though, large and menacing you’re sure he could scare someone even in human form, but last night he looked like an angel, sent for you. Your fingers were soft and careful as they traced the scales on his chest, protecting his heart and vital organs. He was incredible, does he need to wear armor? Were the women like this? You were curious but not enough to ask, surely there were books on it. The castle may have some history books on the Ashra kingdom and its people, maybe you could learn some on your own instead of asking Kyojuro all the questions. He seemed more than happy to answer your curiosity but that would get annoying at some point, wouldn’t it? Plus, maybe there was an alternative for his mating ritual, you couldn’t possibly be the first human to bed a dragon, not when they shone like this. All of them were beautiful so that it seemed impossible for you to be the first.

“What’re you doing?” you jumped at the grumble from your husband. Kyojuro looked like a kitten who was woken up from a very deep slumber, his eyes barely open as he scratched his scalp, trying to smooth some of his hair down.

“Enjoying the morning, It’s even prettier in the morning light.” His eyes were wider, more aware as he looked at you up and down, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Yes, it is prettier. I think I like the view in the morning a little bit more.” Kyojuro’s eyes held mischief as you matched his smile. He was leaning on his elbows, one leg propped up, the robe laid like a blanket over both of your laps. He truly was a piece of art.

“Lay with me” It was a small ask that you couldn’t deny. At some point in the night he had moved one of his wings under you, acting as a protector, or a pillow if your head wasn’t already resting on his chest.

“Does this hurt? Me laying on your wings?” The skin of his wings wasn’t what you expected, a peach fuzz protected most of it, the same red as his scales. His body was a huge mystery, and you were excited to learn all you could.

“Not at all. It’s like you laying on my arm, it essentially is an arm. I can move and flex it like any other limb.” He accented his answer by flexing his wing. You could feel every muscle move under you.

“Your body is so interesting to me.” He made a noise of response.

“You act as if the human body isn’t interesting. You are very resilient. I don’t know how you survive without the ability of flight. Horses are nice and all that but rather inconvenient, they do not keep stamina like a dragon” You huffed, your body aching was a reminder of that stamina.

“I’ve been thinking since we are going t-“A screech unlike any you had heard before interrupted you, making you jump up. Kyojuro seemed unperturbed by the noise as he looked up. His wing acted as a shield, hiding you from sight as you heard the harsh flapping of wings cutting through the air. The ground shook as multiple pairs of feet landed on the ground. You were staring at Kyojuro who looked over his wing, eyes narrowed.

“I should have known they would send you two” His voice was deep, almost threatening as he spoke.

“Don’t play dumb Kyojuro, is that the Raven princess?” You peeked over the edge of Kyojuro’s wings at the new arrivals. You wish you could remember their names but there was little time to converse with the dragon king and queens. You could recognized royalty though, the straight postures, the sharp eyes. 2 of the kings had arrived, each different rulers of territory within the kingdom but they worked well. The taller one was pretty, his white hair was longer than Kyojuro’s, decorated in jewels and multiple braids through it. His deep violet eyes were watching you.

“You idiots. How could you disappear on your wedding night? The Raven siblings are going crazy with worry. You are the first royal multi-racial couple, and you pull something like this?” The shorter male was quick with his words, the disappointment and anger in his voice evident. “You are lucky I was here, or the treaty would have fallen through thanks to this stunt. No one can track like me, and you know that, although something tells me your dick doesn’t by the smell. Fucking disgusting, you were given a home away from the castle for that not a fucking field like peasants.” The onslaught of colorful words did not stop until he was finished. His bi-colored eyes looked between you and Kyojuro, a sign you were both in the shit.

“Are you decent?” The taller male spoke. Kyojuro looked at you, bare body marked with bruises and red with embarrassment. He was in a similar state.

“no. my queen has a robe but I did not prepare clothing” You could hear the beginning of another colorful tirade before it was interrupted the slip of the tongue as he switched to the ancient Draconish tongue, cursing Kyojuro out without you understanding, Tengen stepped in, nudging the shorter male before a silent conversation happened between the two men standing before you. The shorter male walked off, further into the field where you finally witnessed the transformation. It looked painful, the extension of his limbs, elongating his body and growing over 10X his size. Before you was the one most feared, the Void dragon. The ombre of scales that started black at the top and were white at the tips of his feet and stomach was beauty itself. There was fear in your admiration as he turned and eyes the two of you. The ventilating scales on the sides of his neck flaring with a deep purple color. He released a huff before taking off, obviously annoyed as you watched void flames eat a hole in the clouds before he disappeared.

“Apologies. His lack of sight in such an unfamiliar territory makes him uneasy, let alone the hunt we’ve been on this morning. If you could put your robe on, Kyojuro you may take one of my layers.” He was shedding the outermost coat of his off before he was finished speaking. The long black trench coat that shone purple at the right angle was dangling off the tips of his fingers. “You will fly ahead of me to the castle. There are outfits awaiting you on the bed of your honeymoon home. Change quickly while I am outside, I will barge in if you take too long. There is a meeting to be had.” He wasted no time, turning around and holding the coat out. You took that as your chance to dress yourself, removing the robe from yours and Kyojuro’s laps. He kept a wing covering you as you stood, putting the robe on and tying it tight. Kyojuro’s smile was tight, the corners of his lips not fully lifting as he strode to the other king, taking the robe and covering himself. Tension was thick as Kyojuro walked out into the field, not even done walking before he was shifting, the scales on his body stretching into the beautiful beast who has done nothing but kept you safe.

“After you”

Landing the second time was much smoother now that you knew what to expect. The effect on your body was still the same. You sat in the grass staring at the honeymoon home while your body shook with adrenaline.

“Tengen said we have about 10 minutes, would you like me to carry you?” Words didn’t come to you, moving silently to get up, taking the hand Kyojuro offered and following him to your temporary home. The clothes laid out were nothing too extraordinary, it was summer, so the clothes were lighter, more breathable. Kyojuro came out in white slacks, a red button down and a formal vest embroidered with his kingdoms emblem. Your dress was red to match, the half sleeves and bodice were thin, almost see through but the black corset covered anything that shouldn’t be seen by others.

“Beautiful. I’m sorry for the way Obanai was. He hates it here, too Many smells. Gyomei has some weird connection with the earth so he can see outlines of things but like all other void dragons, Obanai hasn’t had eyesight since he was a kid. Thankfully they sent Tengen with him, somehow, he always calms Obanai down.” You nodded, Tengen, the audial dragon king. Your future brother-in-law. Supposedly he is a menace on the battlefield, the sound barriers he has broken and skulls he has shattered are almost equal. That’s who stood outside your door. It made sense, based on Mitsuri’s chatter about the Audial dragon he seemed to be the biggest hoarder out of all of them. It was a well-known fact that the dragon people enjoyed collecting fine things, it’s how their kingdom flourished, they had a keen sense for treasures

“I understand, there is a reason the Void dragons aren’t often seen outside of your kingdom. Is there anything we can do to make it more comfortable for him here? Everyone will be here for a few months while the transfer of power and the weddings happen, plus we have to be crowned before going back to your kingdom.” Kyojuro nodded.

“That is very kind of you, if this meeting has a moment where we aren’t being chewed out perhaps, we shall ask how to remedy and make things comfortable here. You’ve done great with Muichiro and Giyu. I truly don’t think I’ve seen them besides in the seats at the wedding.”

“I think I saw a tail in the lake when I was going to the springs.” You recalled the slim object, flicking water around. “Can I ask though. That’s the first time I’ve heard Draconish. How would I learn something that complex?” The sound of Obanai’s curses made it sound like he was hissing, a slur of words and noises.

“Your human vocal cords aren’t made for it actually. Theres a level of vibration needed to speak it. Thankfully there Is an enchanter in our kingdom who does specifically that. I am not sure the specifics of what he does but he alters the brain to give you the knowledge and understanding to speak it or something. His name is Murata, he’s good. Really good as a medicine man or doctor” Kyojuro smiled. Holding his arm out for you to take.

Tengen was quiet as he walked with you guys to the castle, heading in the direction of the ‘war room’ although it hadn’t been used for war in decades it was used for meetings between royalty and visitors. The room was full as you walked in. Your siblings sat together, arms crossed and eyes pinched. You could see the disappointment on their faces. The dragons were all quiet, Mitsuri shuffling uncomfortably in her seat. all eyes were on the three of you as you took your seats.

The tension in the air was thick, no one quite sure where to start, Obanai kept his head down but his clenched fists atop the table told you what you needed to know.

“Where were you?” Your brother was the first to speak, his posture lax but you could see his anger clear as day, one leg crossed over the other, leaning on his side as he glared between you and your new husband.

“Kyojuro and I found a field to enjoy the sunset. We ended up falling asleep, it was purely accidental.” You spoke up, knowing to just admit your fault than argue with your brother.

“And I am to believe that? Your wedding night and you two disappear without telling anyone, not even Sasha.” You flinched at the name of your lady in waiting, you hoped she hadn’t been punished for your lack of care. You remembered the way she limped in pain last time she was punished. It was a dinner between the dragon elders and your family, she had slipped on a puddle un knowingly left by a water dragon, resulting in a pot of hot tea spilling on your aunts leg. The burns weren’t severe thanks to her many layers. Sasha’s burns were blistered though. You had helped dress the wounds, ignoring her pleas to ignore it, it was her fault. It was a cruel punishment, she still bore the scars but she never spoke ill of your aunt or anyone else. “This wedding was a step towards better days, to help heal from the losses from both of our kingdoms and you pull something as reckless as this? To have sex in the grass? Are you an idiot?”

“Now, Alexander. Understand it was an accident, we didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Alex scoffed, cheeks red with anger as your sister watched on in silence.

“This was childish and reckless, I expect more from you now that we are to be crowned, things like this cannot and will not happen again. No more whorish behavior, you will remain covered unless in your private chambers. I do not care how old you are or that you are the first to wed, there will not be a repeat of this behavior.” The silence that followed your brother's words stung more than the words themselves. You were used to the lack of censorship when it came to him. He was to take over after your aunt and uncle, he was the only one who truly knew how to rule. But the fact your sister sat in silence and did nothing to ease the sting of his insults hurt you a little more. You bowed your head, looking down at the ring that sat on your finger. Even after a marriage and soon a crown, you were still treated like a child.

“I do not recall whorish behavior. I do recall consensual love-making between a married couple. You will not address my wife in such a manner ever again. You may be king soon, but you are not yet. The second she married me she became the queen of Ashra. Remember your place Alexander because you will not be warned again. What we did was reckless and I accept fault. We should have told someone where we were going, let alone come back afterwards, but I will not accept you degrading my wife in front of me and the rest of the royalty in this room, am I clear?” Alexander sat straight, his eyes flicking between you and the hand Kyojuro had placed on your knee while he was speaking.

“Kyojuro, Y/N. Please do not do something like this again. Our families have suffered great loss already, we cannot lose anymore. If you wish to be adventurous, please let someone know. Or just keep it within the castle grounds.” The Poison dragon Shinobu addressed the both of you, the purple hue of her lips menacing as she smiled at you both. You bowed in apology at the gentle reprimand from Shinobu. You would much rather be yelled at by her than Alexander.

“That is not all we have come together for today though. The marriages between Diane and Tengen, followed by Alexander and Shinobu will not have ceremonies, for time’s sake and the good of both kingdoms they will be signing the binding vows and then all shall be moved forward. After your honeymoon is over, Kyojuro and Y/N you will be moved to Ashra where you will stay, Obanai, Muichiro, Sanemi, and Mitsuri will accompany you. Shinobu, Tengen, Diane, and Alexander will stay in Ravenhill along with Giyuu and I while the expansion continues. Y/N, as your marriage contract originally stated you will live permanently in Ashra, you will be given a list prefilled with what is going with you, if you require certain staff of anything please make changes and give it to your lady in waiting. Diane, your wedding dress is being altered into the ceremonial gown needed for the transfer of power and crowning. Since Kyojuro noted earlier Y/N is a queen in our kingdom's eyes she is not needed at the transfer of power, and such will happen before your vows are signed. Is there anything else that needs discussion?” Your mind was spinning with all the sudden changes in plans and your sudden status change that no one bothered to mention. You had officially been queen this whole time which means Kyojuro wasn’t just using that name in the heat of the moment. Your head felt light with all the thoughts spinning around, like a twister in your mind scrambling everything. Gyomei, the eldest of the dragon royals, waited in silence to see if there were any more questions. With a nod the royals stood, your brother and sister still seated and staring you down. Kyojuro led you out of the room with a careful hand on your back.

“Does he usually speak to you like that?” It was the first thing Kyojuro had said since arriving back at the honeymoon home, his eyes didn’t leave you as you looked over the list left for you to review.

“Alexander?” you questioned, even though you knew that’s who he meant. He nodded. “I am the youngest of the Ravens and yet I am still to become queen. I’m sure he is just upset that all his education and studies had been for naught as he must share the kingdom now. It’s okay” Kyojuro didn’t look pleased, his lips pursed in thought as he paced in front of the bed you sat on.

“Do not make excuses for him. He has no right to speak to you like that. You are your own person, a woman of great strength and resilience” You scoffed, embarrassed at him flaming your ego but also that he suddenly knew all of this and seemed convinced it was true

“We have been wed only 24 hours and you know all this about me? You may think me strong but he’s not wrong. I should have been more careful; I should have thought it through before let-“

“Do not listen to him. Do you regret it?” You shook your head, feeling so small under the hurt look Kyojuro gave you. It made you want to hide under the blankets, to wrap them so tight no one could perceive you. “Y/N, I enjoyed making love to you last night. I have enjoyed getting to know you. Have we only known each other for a day? Yes, but we’ve been betrothed for years, since my father was king. I don’t know about you but there aren’t many dragon-human relationships and if I was a human engaged to a dragon, forced to marry him I would have run away at the thought, let alone a dragon king. Our people lead through strength, meaning the nine of us have won our title by a show of strength. But you are moving forward with this marriage with your head held high, by making an effort to get to know me and talk to me like a normal person. Hell’s, you let me bed you on the first night, not even afraid of my wings, teeth, horns, none of that. That is strength, which is resilience and loyalty. You are more than you realize.” Kyojuro had moved to sit on the end of the bed, a hand resting on your knee as he addressed you. He left you speechless. How had he felt about all of this in such a short amount of time, was he feeling the same connection you had felt? There was an ease with him, like he had been in your life forever. Deep down he had been, you had been betrothed for 10 years at this point, a decade you had been promised to each other, you were raised to be his, and for him it was you.

“Kyojuro. Thank you.” His smile wasn’t as bright, not all teeth shining down on you. He patted your thigh, getting up from the bed.

The remainder of your day was spent organizing your list of things to be moved with you. Sasha sat with you as you decided what to bring and what not to bring. Kyojuro sat with you for a while, but he quickly got bored, deciding to go for a flight around the kingdom.

“So, you and the king will be flying ahead. It’s a much quicker flight than it is carriage. We need to pack a week’s worth of clothing for you to go into the kingdom.” Sasha was trying to figure outfits, what to arrive in but also is comfortable to fly in, she was scratching her head as she looked over your vast wardrobe.

“Do you know what the weather is like there?” Sasha looked at you like you had grown another head.

“Your highness, have you not read the books I’ve left out for you?” She pointed back into your bedroom, a frustrated look on her face. “I shall forgive this since I know the past couple of weeks have been a blur for you. Between the accident, funerals, a wedding, AND ESCAPING OVERNIGHT TO HAVE SE-“ you jumped at your maid, covering her mouth as she began giggling. Since the death of the former king and queen Sasha has been more open with her opinions of things, she had become like a confidant, someone you could rely on and a shoulder to cry on.

“I did not escape. We left on our own two feet, well, his back.”

“And you rode back on his front?” You gasped in horror at her brash words.

“Sasha, I am a queen now. It is inappropriate to speak like this” she nodded, turning back to the clothes in front of you. There were a variety of options, separated between color and cut. The warm colors were on the left and it went to cooler colors. Kyojuro had talked extensively of heat earlier in the day, he was the flame dragon Afterall. But maybe that was how he felt? Maybe he lives in cooler temperatures to fight the fact he is always hot.

“We have a little less than two weeks, I shall do some reading on attire and weather patterns for you. We’ll work on clothes later. Go back to your honeymoon, out” She was waving you out, tossing the edge of your dress ahead of you so you would follow. She was giggling as you kicked back at her, playful like you had been sisters arguing over dresses. The thought made your chest ache. You once had been a family like that. After your parents gave you up to your aunt choosing instead to live their lives as they had, off the money of your grandfather, the former viscount. You were still young, only 5 but old enough to remember the shock of being moved from a small cabin on the edge of the kingdom to the largest building you’ve ever seen, a castle. All you had with you was your brother and sister. Diane was 3 years older than you and Alexander was 5 years older. The age gap never mattered because it was the three of you against the world. You had survived off of mere pennies, how hard could royalty be?

“Y/N! there you are! Come, there is something we must show you!” Mitsuri was the first to greet you in the courtyard, immediately pulling you towards the back gardens where the honeymoon home was. “So. Obviously you and Rengoku aren’t the first inter-racial couple. However, you are the first royal inter-racial couple, which means you set a standard. That’s okay though because there is a long history of couples like you and different means it all depends on the couple. Like our mating ritual, did Kyojuro tell you about that?” She was talking a mile a minute, but you were catching up

“He… Mentioned it briefly. He doesn’t know how I would be able to do it” She made a noise

“Exactly, you’re so small and I’m afraid his cock would kill you” Your eyes bugged out at the crass wording. She spoke like she was reading out the daily newsletter. “So, we know how to do that, all the reading is back at the Rengoku home for you two to get down and dirty with. That’s not what were here for though.” She paused her steps right before you stepped into the back gardens. Looking at you she held both of your hands in her own. “This is a wedding present from all eight of us. I know you haven’t had time to spend with all of us yet but hopefully once everything settles and marriages are final, we can spend it together as a family. This should help though.” She was smiling as she let go of your hands, walking into the back.

Sitting by the lakeside, surrounded by small flowers and clovers sat your lone dragon, his head perched above the water as he stared at his own reflection. Was this another ritual that you didn’t know about? Was the old tradition of making sure your marriage was consummated via audience a regular thing in the Ashra kingdom? Obviously, it was consummated in a field before but when he’s in that form? Where did his cock even come from? You couldn’t see anything from across the lake. Mitsuri whistled loud enough that Kyojuro’s head popped up, yellow eyes locking with you. His jaw pulled back in what looked like a smile? A dragon smile that was all sharp teeth and spit.

“Hey! Come on!” Mitsuri yelled, waving over at Kyojuro. He took seconds between leaping in the air to landing in front of you two. His head bowed, entering your personal space with a nudge of his nose.

“Hello! Feeling refreshed after your flight?” There was a huff of hot air in response, blowing your dresses backwards. His jaw slackened, tongue lolling out as he panted. Your husband happened to be a scaley dog, with a lot of saliva.

“So. Kyojuro, turn around please, you can look later.” She was silent as Kyojuro turned around revealing what looked like a harness? The straps were all brown, almost dark enough to blend in with his scales. Mitsuri reached out, gripping one of the large straps. “This is a saddle. Like your horses, but for your husband. Please only use it for flights and nothing else, it was very difficult for us to find. Only 2 leather shops make them in the entire kingdom! Hopefully that changes but it will take time. Here, let me help you up” She guided your feet into the divest in the leather, like a ladder up to a personalized seat. There were straps that kept your thighs and body onto the saddle and a waist strap that will help with stability. “How does it feel? Uncomfortable? Do you think you need some blankets?” You were adjusting the straps around your thighs as Mitsuri talked, trying to fit it to you. “When you’re done come on down and I’ll show you how to take it off and on.”

The remainder of your honeymoon week and a half was spent getting to know your husband in every form. He spent his mornings in bed, sprawled over every inch of it and only making room for you to cuddle up under his arm, surrounded by his wings. Because he was a walking heater you only needed a thin quilt. After a hearty breakfast he went on a flight to stretch his body and work up some energy, sometimes he would take you with him if you were feeling up to it. Flying got easier with time, and it was nicer with the security of the saddle, even if the name made you grimace. The afternoons were spent in the study, you would read, and he would usually have one of the other dragons over to discuss things back home.

“Are you nervous?” Your turned in bed, adjusting the nightdress that had ridden up. Kyojuro’s hands found home on your hips, looking down from where he was perched against his pillow.

“Very. You aren’t often in this form, or your people aren’t, and I don’t want to make people feel forced to do that to interact with me.” He nodded “you are different, you are my husband and unlike a dragon I cannot physically handle you in your other form. Like the wise words of Mitsuri you would ‘kill me with your cock’ or something along those lines.”

“Oo, very wise indeed. Quite a noble death though, what is more valiant than dying on a kings cock?” he let out a small grunt as you slapped his chest, feeling your cheeks warm at his vulgarness. You had learned so much in such a short amount of time. The people of Ashra were more open with their bodies, women often didn’t wear tops when in human form and there was no need for clothes in dragon form besides decoration like jewels and paints. Although from what you’ve heard that is very special occasions, like births and marriages. It interested you to witness the overall comfort of their people, the trust in each other.

“I’m excited to meet your family though. Also to get to know your people, you’ve seen my home and the little seclusion of it. But yours sounds so” you couldn’t quite find the words to place on it.

“Welcoming?”

“Yes! Just from the sounds of it, you are in there with your people not locked behind tall walls and looking down upon them. Their struggles are yours and I feel that’s why you have done so well as a kingdom.” He was caressing the bare skin of your hip, watching as you talked animatedly about your excitement.

“You will shine in Ashra. Not only will the people find you as beautiful and ethereal as I do, but they will be able to see and know you as a person, not a figure. I think our kingdoms will be good for each other. Your knowledge of nature’s destruction and decay of the natural land will help us grow and our strength will help you grow. Then we shall be one. Like a very large family” you were nodding against the scales of his chest, enjoying the heat he radiated and dreaming of a better future.

“Family sounds nice. I want our babies to grow up in a place like that, surrounded by love and safety.” Kyojuro chuckled, vibrations shaking your head where it lay. He noticed you nodding off, giving your forehead a quick kiss.

“Goodnight my queen”

The Flight to Ashra seemed to take less than an hour but half of it was spent blinking the sleep out of your eyes and letting the cool air of the skies wake you up. Thankfully your arrival wasn’t supposed to be a grand event, there would be a feast in a few days to welcome everyone back and give you a chance to meet the elder dragons and the retired kings and queens. The clouds were low, sitting you on edge as you didn’t know what to expect flying into the Ashra kingdom. Kyojuro lived in one of the northern quadrants, most flame dragons lived there to keep their scales cool and ice harvesting was best done by those who could melt the edges and prevent too much damage. You expected hot weather, but the cold was a welcome change. Layers were easier to pile on than remove. As Kyojuro lowered himself you were welcomed with the sight of green. Lush green pastures greeted you, some dragons were lying about among them, you saw some running around, some even greeted Kyojuro, flying alongside the two of you. There was a rumble below you before Kyojuro let out a call that felt as if it could shake the earth. Baritone and scratchy it was met with everyone around responding in a similar manner. You could feel the excitement in Kyojuro underneath you. The extra effort he put into flying faster, the playful growls as another dragon joined your flight home. There was a longing to know how to communicate with them, to be one of them. In the two weeks of marriage, you had felt more like you had a family than you had your entire life. It was terrifying to start fresh, to be rushed into marriage and a brand new home, a new culture. You were grateful to be granted the official honeymoon phase, to get to know the man you would be assisting in running a territory with. If your betrothal hadn’t already been planned, you’re afraid you would end up like Alexander and Diane. Signing a paper and going immediately into ruling alongside each other. How were they expected to run a kingdom together if they didn’t know each other? Your brief conversations with Tengen and Shinobu had been pleasant, Tengen seemed easygoing, outgoing. He was the opposite of your sister and maybe that would work out for the best, open her up, bring out her adventurous side, it had to be hiding in there somewhere. But those problems weren’t yours anymore. Yours were around you in every shape and size, in every color and kind. As Kyojuro descended further you got an even better look ahead. The ground was still green but further ahead was mountains, white Mountains. Glaciers. Kyojuro explained the history of the keep, built inside of a glacier. It was a gift from the Frost dragons when the first marriage happened in history of their royalty. It was a tale that went so far back Kyojuro said not all of it was known. Due to some structural pieces the keep had maintained its place and has expanded as time passed. It was a fascinating sight, the entryway was intricately carved into the side of the glacier, it looked like a painting. The carvings were even prettier up close as Kyojuro landed in front. Surrounding the glacier were burrows, where most of the dragons resided if they chose not to stay in the keep. There were plenty of them laying around in the sun, looking up to greet the two of you with calls of their own. He laid on the ground while you dismounted, getting your first taste of the chill that came from inside. You had read about packing warm but maybe you would still need to stick with Kyojuro for extra warmth, Goosebumps formed on your arms as you looked around. Lanterns lit the entryway, dragons and humans mingling about the open doors. There was a latch on the front of the harness that helped Kyojuro take it off if something ever happened, but he found it easier than watching you fumble around with the large belts around his arms. Shaking off the saddle he looked down at you, a grumble of some Draconish slipping through his lips before he turned to head inside.

You stared at the saddle, unsure what to do with it, you didn’t want to meet his family while lugging that thing behind you, but to leave it there would feel like you didn’t appreciate the time and effort taken towards acquiring this gift.

“Someone will be taking care of it. Do not worry.” You missed the transformation of Kyojuro back to his human form, jumping at the sudden volume of his voice. He was more casual today. Long flowing black pants and a simple red vest, if you didn’t know better you would say he was going to the beach. Compared to your layers of dress and fur coat you probably made an odd looking couple. “Come on, I’m sure the family is dancing on their toes waiting for us” He chuckled, waving you over from the entrance.

The halls were wide, dragons meandered about, breaking off along the never-ending halls and various rooms, there was an occasional human or Dragons in their human form but for the most part it was all dragons. Your nerves were humming with each step. There was an inferiority in humans when compared to the dragon race. Speed, strength, size. There had to have been many beautiful women vying for Kyojuro as their partner and yet he was promised to you since you were a kid. He was the strongest Flame dragon, he came from a long line of rulers in the Ashra kingdom and he had ruled the Flame territory for three years already. Aside from his achievements, he was physically beautiful. He had sculpted himself into a unit of destruction, but the same hands that could tear out a heart, the same teeth that could tear apart muscle had shown you such grace and delicacy. Were you enough to measure up to that? You were adopted by royals, given away and not expected to do anything but serve. What could you accomplish like he could? Each step felt like a death sentence, you were walking to your final judgement and thins were looking grim. You were nothing compared to them, why would they accept you, your family didn’t even accept you. Kyojuro didn’t mention it but since you’re scolding about sneaking away you didn’t let Kyojuro get too close. He had managed kisses and cuddling but much further and you shut it down, maybe you were acting whorish, but he was also your husband, and you were expected to bare his children, right? The further you walked the less people you ran into, small waves and grumbles greeted Kyojuro as he waved back, sending love to those around but you remained meekly by his side, observing.

“Okay, so this door on the right will be our home and the left, is my family’s home. Are you ready?” Kyojuro stopped in the middle of the hall, pointing between a large red door and a much smaller black door on the other side. The obvious size difference made it obvious which was the home you would live in, though the thought of a dragon sized bed did sound appealing. Hopefully there is a bed large enough to fit Kyojuro and his wings. You nodded, letting Kyojuro drag you into what would be your new home. What you expected was not what you were looking at. The walls were made of stone and the floors were a dark wood. You made out a living room, with a lit fireplace and the comfiest looking sofa, decorated in blankets and furs. You could make out a kitchen and a hallway.

“3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen, this room and then there is a balcony that goes out the side of the glacier in the bedroom. Wanted it to be a surprise. The cold to us is so comfortable but I don’t want you to freeze so the family looked into as many blankets and quilts as possible. They are in the spare rooms closet.” You were in shock. The warmth of the room already had you getting a bit stuffy in your layers, but also the care taken and the artistry of making a home your size and accommodating you as much as possible. Your eyes burned at the thought behind your home, the love put into each detail. There were paintings along the wall, depicting the dragons of the Rengoku family in their human forms. There was no mistaking they were related, the red tips of their hair, the red sheen on their scales, the proud looks. The Rengoku’s were a sight to behold. The woman in the Photo was just as beautiful, if not prettier. Although she seemed a bit more docile the fire in her red eyes was something you had seen often in Kyojuro. Her long black hair was braided and matched the black of her wings and scales, she was breathtaking.

“Kyojuro” You spoke softly, unsure if you could speak without bursting into tears.

“Is something wrong? I can call the builders, we can find something else. Any changes that need to be made and it will be done” He was holding onto your arms, looking you over in case there was something wrong. You just looked at him, trying to prevent tears from coming.

“No! please don’t. It’s perfect, it’s beautiful.” You took a deep breath, looking around the room again. The Rengoku family crest hung on the door. “I’m grateful. You have done a lot for me, accommodated me so much and I am.” You paused, looking back at your husbands worried face, a soft smile coming to your lips as you moved to hold his face. “I’m overwhelmed at the beauty of it. The care and the love are embedded in these walls, and it is a lot, but it is perfect. Thank you” Kyojuro’s smile could have broken his cheeks, his teeth nipped playfully at your hand as he stepped back, holding a hand out for you.

“I want to show you the rest.”

The house was beautiful. Every room had been carefully picked out and crafted. The artistry had heart and it showed in each corner. The master suite was large, enough for Kyojuro to stretch his wings fully without hitting anything. The bed had been specially made to fit him as well, comfortably even though deep down you both knew he would be crowding in your space, wrapping you in his warmth. By the end of the impromptu tour, you had both found solace in the comfort of the couch. You had shed some layers, leaving you in just a floor-length burgundy, velvet, long sleeve dress. Kyojuro was spread across the couch, wings spread and arms resting under his head. You sat at the other end of the couch, just admiring the scenery. You were automatically comfortable in your new home, it felt nostalgic, like something you had been missing. A knock interrupted your thoughts before the front door opened. Kyojuro and you rose to your feet as in walked the rest of Kyojuro’s family.

“Mother, Father, Senjuro” Kyojuro greeted them with open arms. His mother was holding onto his fathers arm, she looked just as she had in the painting, all of them did. The Rengoku’s were stunning in person.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rengoku. It is an honor to finally meet you, I am Y/N Raven, crowned Queen of Ravenhill.”

“Oh, please sweetheart, no need for formality. You have long since been part of this family. You can call me Ruka or mom if you want, this is Shinjuro and I’m sure Kyojuro has told you of Senjuro.” Ruka stepped forward, pulling you into a hug as she spoke. Shinjuro stood by the door, observing and Senjuro made himself at home after greeting his brother. “Do you like the home? Kyojuro has been writing frantically since he’s been in Ravenhill, making sure everything was perfect.” Your cheeks burned at her admission of Kyojuro’s nerves, as you looked over you could see the darkening of his own cheeks, the embarrassment he tried to hide behind a cough.

“Its incredible. The thought and care that was put into making a home to accommodate not only me but Kyojuro’s size as well. The balcony is even big enough for him to jump off and go into the field for his morning flights. Its perfect. I’m very happy. Thank you” Ruka was beaming as she looked back at Shinjuro. His stoic expression melted a bit as he gave a more relaxed nod in acknowledgment.

“If you need anything do not hesitate to ask. Murata will be here later tonight, he is helping Kagaya out currently. We hope to have the speech done by the feast in two days. Rest. Enjoy your home. We will come back tomorrow” Shinjuro gave another nod as he held a hand out for Ruka, Holding the door open and letting her lead him out. Senjuro sat still on the couch.

“Can I stay for a bit?” He was looking at Kyojuro who quickly nodded, before waving goodbye to his parents. “What was your guys wedding like? I was so sad we had to miss it and run the territory. Mom and dad won’t let me fly that far by myself. Was it like the books said? Where you just say words and sign a paper?” Kyojuro sat and you followed suit, taking one of the arm chairs facing the siblings.

“It was like that. Y/N wore a beautiful dress, and we exchanged blessings and signed a contract. It was very nice, a lot less blood” Senjuro and Kyojuro laughed at your disgusted face.

“Do you like my brother Y/N? Is he being a stink-butt to you? He likes to hide my favorite shell sometimes. Does he hide your stuff?” You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Kyojuro hiding shells, playing innocent and telling his poor upset brother he has no clue where it went.

“He hasn’t but that doesn’t mean he won’t. I should hide all my stuff when it gets here shouldn’t I?”

“Yes! Before he starts hoarding it like Tengen does! Mated dragons love reminders of their mate, so he probably has some of your stuff already. Tengen is marrying your sister, right? Hopefully she doesn’t have too many shiny things.” You shrugged. She was no longer your problem, you were over a week's carriage ride away.

“What do you know about mating?!” Kyojuro’s eyes were bugging.

“I’ve read things! I’m not a baby Kyojuro! I will be an adult, I will have a mate at some point!” Senjuro was huffing, the smoke coming out of his nose reminded you of the annoyed puffs that Kyojuro distributed. It was cute seeing the similarities in the family, you could only hope it would continue with your children. Kyojuro continued to pester Senjuro about his knowledge and other readings until the younger Rengoku was called for dinner.

Murata didn’t arrive until the sun had long passed the horizon; He was accompanied by Shinjuro. Murata was human, no teeth, no wings, no horns, he was only a few inches taller than you but paid no mind as he sat right down, making himself at home as he unpacked various items from his bag.

“Your highness. Y/N Raven, the human queen to the dragons. It’s an honor, and about time I’ve seen it happen.” He smiled, brushing his black hair out of his eyes before turning back to his bag. “Shinjuro, I appreciate your hesitance on me working on your son, but I fear this is a bit personal, do you mind stepping into the other room?” Shinjuro’s glare barely eased as he stepped into the kitchen, out of earshot but still keeping the three of you in his eyesight. Kyojuro sat on the couch, grabbing your hand as you sat next to him to watch the enchanter work. He pulled out vials, a wooden bowl and various herbs.

“The reason I asked Shinjuro to step out is because you two are unmated” Kyojuro’s gaze sharpened, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at the enchanter. “It is very possible to mate with humans, Kyojuro. For dragons the mating ritual is almost like a mark. Using your powers you mark your mate, for dragons it is just a mark, on humans you are almost injecting them with a piece of you. Mating with Y/N will change her physically, all I do is give that extra push to help her along with speech.” You let go of Kyojuro’s hand, there was never any talk of you turning into something else.

“The mating process will need to happen in order for her to fully develop that speech. You will take a scale, preferably a chest scale, using your flames, heat it until it clows and insert a piece into an open wound on her body. It will hurt, but only while it is happening, the pain should soothe almost as soon as you remove the scale. Y/N in order to do this you must give him blood. So, bite her, anywhere, even just a drop on your tongue is good enough and using that bite for the scale is all it takes. While you sleep your body will adapt. You will be able to withstand heat easier, your body will be able to create life using dragon sperm and your vocal cords will stretch, allowing that vibrato needed to speak Draconish. That is, it, nothing else. What I am having you drink is essentially liquid education. You are getting the Draconish language in a pinch. You can understand and speak once your body adapts. It seems simple but it is a very difficult thing to achieve. This ingredient, the dragon's bane is only found in the frost queen's territory, it's difficult to get through for me because it's found on the inside of the isalic volcano. I’ve lost three couriers in five years to acquire it.” Murata had been mixing everything he gathered as he spoke, rarely looking up from the bowl.

“Is this okay? Are you okay?” Kyojuro took the momentarily silence to lean into you, not taking his eyes off of the man in front of you. You couldn’t look away from the chunky mixture Murata was holding. You would have to drink that and then make Kyojuro drink your blood and burn you? Your head felt light, it was all so much too quick. You were expected to be able to speak the dragon language by the time of the banquet in two days. You would have to become something new. New home, new occupation, new Husband, New language, new body, new, new, new. It was too much.

“I can’t, no” You stood, quickly leaving the room and heading to the bedroom.

“Y/N!” You ignored the calls of your name, just taking time to breathe. The balcony door was cracked, letting the fresh air in and you went straight for it, wanting not to be near anyone and just think for a second. The evening breeze was cold, but it helped with the panic you felt settling into your body, leaving you wanting to run. You enjoyed being with Kyojuro, you enjoyed learning about him and his culture, but was it worth changing everything for?

“I sent Murata out. He left the drink for you to take whenever you want.” Kyojuro had made his presence known with a knock. You didn’t look towards him, just nodding as you continued to look out to the houses around the glacier. “Overwhelmed?” You nodded again, not trusting your voice. “I will sleep in one of the spare rooms tonight, give you that space. Goodnight” He left without another word, shutting the balcony door softly behind him. You immediately felt guilty for not answering, he was always willing to help you, always checking on you and you just pushed him away. Maybe you needed to clear your head with a quick soak in the bath.

Soaking left you with a clearer head, more willing to talk. Once you dressed and braided your hair for the night you went to find your husband. The room next to yours was empty so you went to the next one, opening the door slowly and peering inside to see if he was still awake. Turning to face the door Kyojuro squinted.

“Y/N?” you made a noise before entering the room, squinting to try and see through the dark. As you made your way through the dark a candle was lit, the small flames coming from Kyojuro’s mouth making the room glow bright before the lit candle was the only flame. Placing the Candle back next to the bed Kyojuro turned to you as you crawled in bed next to him.

“Can we talk?” he nodded, pulling the covers over your lap while you both sat with your backs to the headboard. “I’m scared, Kyojuro. This is so much change in so little time and I don’t want to lose myself. My body will change and what if I become unrecognizable?” Kyojuro was silent, pondering what you said.

“For the humans that have done this there isn’t any outside physical changes to your body. But if it worries you that much then we won’t mate, and you won’t have to drink the concoction Murata made. I can translate for you” There was no hesitation in his answer, he spoke so easily like he had no qualms about it.

“But mating is a whole ritual and thing for you” He shrugged

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not a monster” You looked over at the man next to you, finding him already staring at you.

“Thank you Kyojuro” He gave you a smile, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into him, looking up to kiss his jaw. He leaned down, capturing your lips with his own in a sloppy kiss.

“I want you to be happy, no matter what” You pulled him back into you, letting him crown you until your back hit the bed. Teeth clashed as your lips grew more feverish, moving with purpose as if you were trying to eat each other whole. You moaned into Kyojuro’s mouth as you felt his hardened cock grind against you. You tried pulling him closer, chest meeting your own as your thighs raised, dress falling towards your hips which Kyojuro took advantage of, sliding his heated palms under your dress, caressing the bare skin of your stomach and teasing the edge of your panties. Every touch he gave had purpose, it was gentle yet held meaning as he grabbed at you. He pulled back, lifting off of you with kiss swollen lips, teeth shining with spit as he looked down at you.

“You are so beautiful, so deserving of everything good in the world. I’ll do anything for you.” His words made you feel on top of the world, like any hardship would be okay as long as you had him. You didn’t respond, just pulled him back into you, meeting his lips in another heated kiss. He sat up, pulling you with him as his hands fumbled with the ties of your night dress. Your hands wandered the expanse of his bare chest, nails dragging along the scales of his pecs. As the fabric of your dress fell away you broke the kiss. Kyojuro didn’t stop, trailing his kisses down your jawline and against your neck.

“Kyo, do it” you moaned, trying to pull him against your body. He sat back, confusion written clearly on his face. “Be my mate” You could swear his eyes darkened as the words fell from your lust soaked lips, he wanted to get on his knees and worship you in any way you wanted.

“Are you sure?” you nodded, giggling as you kissed him again.

“I want to be yours, even if I change, only for you” He smiled against your lips, sitting on his heels.

“Okay, so I bite you, and burn the bite with a scale? You have to drink the thing too! Okay wait” He stood from the bed, wings stretching behind him as he left the room quickly. You took the time to shuffle out of the rest of your night dress. Although you had felt reservations towards mating and the changes, Kyojuro would be there with every step, and you could do anything with him. By the time you had settled back onto the bed Kyojuro stood at the door, the wooden bowl Murata had earlier in one hand and a cloth in the other.

“Let’s move to our room, there’s medical salves and stuff in there just in case” You grabbed the candle, leaving everything else behind as you followed Kyojuro to the main bedroom. You sat against the pillows as Kyojuro put everything on the table next to you. Your nerves were beginning to buzz as he sat next to you.

“c’mere” pulling you into a kiss you quickly fell back under his influence, arousal pooling in your gut as he palmed your breasts. Within seconds you were on your back, pushing the fabric of Kyojuro’s pants off of his hips, watching his cock spring free of its confines. He was practically throbbing against your hand as you wrapped your fingers around him. He was pushing the ‘fabric of your panties to the side while you guided him towards your soaked core. E released a heavy groan as his cock pushed into you. With shallow thrusts he sunk further into you, rocking gently as you moaned against his lips. There was no need for foreplay, no rush, no demands. This felt different, intimate. Kyojuro’s thrust were slow, there was no rush to cum but even so your pleasure built. Each grind of his pelvis against yours pushed you further towards the edge. Kyojuro’s head ducked against your neck, groaning against the skin of your collar bone as he continued his slow pace.

“Please, this-fuck. Please” he was mumbling nonsense against you as your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, wanting him to fully take you. He got the message, lips peppering kisses along your collarbone. You could feel his teeth drag against you, leaving goosebumps along your body as he teased you.

“Kyo” you warned, hinting that you were on the edge. He grunted in response, placing a kiss on your right shoulder before you felt the sharp sting of his teeth. It was momentary before he was soothing it over with his tongue, lapping at your skin like a thirsty dog. His thrusts quickened, pushing you over the edge with everything happening. You cried out, nails digging into the scales on his shoulder. He grunted, feeling your pussy suck him like a vice, begging for him to cum inside. With a few more thrusts Kyojuro fell over, Hot ropes spilling inside of you with a groan. Everything was still, just heavy breathing as you tried to come back to earth after that orgasm. Kyojuro was quick to recover, sitting up. He shucked the rest of his pants off, giggling at the fact you were both too eager to let him take them fully off. He didn’t regret it though. You laid in a daze, blood clotting on your shoulder and cum dripping from your pussy but that didn’t bother you as you watched Kyojuro grab the cloth and bowl. He sat next to you, leaning over you to dab at the blood on you before wiping up his cum, apologizing as you winced under his touch. He was as gentle as he could be, letting you recover from such a physically overwhelming experience.

“Do you want to drink this or finish the mating ritual first?” You blinked at him, sitting up.

“Pain then gross liquid, exciting” Your sarcasm made Kyojuro laugh, kissing your forehead as he swapped the cloth for the bowl. “How do you get a scale?” You looked around his body, taking the time to admire him again. He was a sight you would never get sick of. He lifted a hand, in a blink claws had extended from his nail bed.

“Just cut it off, which one do you want?” You weren’t sure why it shocked you, they were a part of him, but he seemed to be so unbothered by it that it made you nervous.

“Do I keep it?” He nodded

“We can make it decoration to represent our bond, a burnt scale and a sum cloth with some blood” You grimaced, and he laughed.

“Gross, let me look” you pushed against his chest, watching him fall against the bed before you straddled him, looking at the scales that covered his abdomen. You didn’t want anything that would be too obvious or would put him in danger but also the bigger it was the more it would hurt, right? There wasn’t a way to truly tell the size of them, they overlapped and created almost a pattern, so you chose a scale that was almost in the exact spot he had bitten into you. You slid off his lap as he sat up, handing you the bowl as he grabbed the cloth again with his free hand. He was careful as he adjusted, you held the scale up, lifting it from the skin underneath. He could feel where you were pulling so even without looking, he was sawing the scale off. The sight made you flinch, but he didn’t seem to be in pain. Blood bubbled under his nail as he worked on removing the scale, carefully pulling it as he sawed it away. The scale was in your hand rather quickly, the sticky rag pressed against his shoulder to slow the bleeding. You looked at the bloody scale in your hand, admiring the way it shone in the light. It felt sturdy as you closed your fingers around it, you might cut your fingers off if you held it too tightly.

“We’ll no doubt have to bathe after this, that rag needs to be burned as well” you chuckled, watching as Kyojuro chucked it before turning to you, gesturing to the bowl in your hand. With a quick cheers you downed the mysterious liquid. The bitter combination of ingredients had you grimacing, but you powered through knowing it was almost over. You practically threw the empty bowl at Kyojuro, taking an exaggerated breath you made it known it was disgusting.

“Let’s finish this and bathe.” You gave Kyojuro the scale before climbing back on his lap, chest to chest. He just watched you for a second, let you fiddle with his hair to distract yourself. His free hand squeezed your hip in encouragement. Turning his head away he let out a breath, fire licking the edges of the scale pinched between his fingers. The heat that was so close made you lean away, too hot. It made you anxious for what was going to happen next. Your eyes flicked to the dried blood on your shoulder, teeth forever to be embedded into your skin. You watched as the color of the scale glowed, enhanced by the heat. As the red turned to a bright orange Kyojuro stopped, turning towards you.

“Are you ready?” You pinched your eyes shut, frantically nodding while you anticipated him getting it over with. “Hold onto my arm, squeeze as tight as you want.” You gripped his free arm with both hands, anxiety spiking as the seconds passed. It felt like an eternity as you waited. Hot, HOt, HOT, your grip tightened on his arm. Tears immediately fell as you opened your eyes. Kyojuro had already disposed of the scale, blowing gently on your shoulder. You let out a pained cry as Kyojuro moved to hold your face, kissing the tears as they fell down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry” He went from kissing your tears to kissing the burn, the smooth skin of his lips easing the burn significantly. It was quiet, the anxious energy of the room dissipating as the pain eased. It was over, you were officially mated to the dragon king.

“It’s been almost 20 hours sorcerer, why isn’t she awake?” Kyojuro was pacing the floor in front of the fireplace. Shinjuro has shown up with Murata in tow shortly after Kyojuro had made an appearance at the Rengoku home, frantically explaining what had transpired since Shinjuro and the enchanter were asked to leave the night before. Murata was a stranger to the Rengoku’s. He resided in Shinobu’s territory and worked with her. There wasn’t enough trust between the flame king and the enchanter for him to not bite his head off right there.

“Your majesty, the queen is tired. The changing of one’s body is not easy, adding that to the fact she is in a new home and an unfamiliar place, her body needs plenty of time to recover and relax.”

“That sounds ridiculous. You never mentioned this. If the queen is hurt-“

“if the queen does not awake by noon tomorrow, you may punish me as you see fit, but I have never not seen this happen. You may ask any of your people who mated a human. They need rest. Her body is much more fragile than yours.” Kyojuro seemed unimpressed as he looked down at the enchanter. The man was tiny compared to the king. He could simply squeeze his throat and break his neck. It would take seconds.

“Kyojuro, she will be okay. If He is important to the Poison Queen, then we shall hear him out. Shinobu would never put her territory at risk by blindly trusting someone like this. Especially with something this important. Give her time to rest.” Kyojuro’s stiff posture hadn’t changed. His shoulders were still tense and raised, wings stiff and slightly puffed out, like he was trying to intimidate the enchanter hovering next to his front door. Though their time was limited, he had grown quite fond of his human wife. Her questions were amusing to him. She desired knowledge and didn’t hesitate to ask if needed. She was firm in her decisions and headstrong. Though she seemed to be troubled by her family and the words Alexander easily three in her face, she stood proudly next to the dragon. He didn’t expect to go through the process of mating. This was a political marriage, not one built from love. You only mated if you saw yourself with that person forever. Mating was a bond that changed both parties. It was an unbreakable connection that had been formed over and over for generations. Though marriage derived from mating, the dragons held strongly to that tradition. But this was different. The marriage was not built with love, but there was love in it now. Neither of them said it, neither of them ever spoke of it. But the trust and comfort they had in each other was all the confirmation needed. The visceral need he felt for his wife was like nothing he felt before. He had, of course, experienced feelings for another. He had felt lust and the envy that sat in one’s body following a crush; He had experienced heartbreak and loss. This feeling, however, was a new one. His every thought had been consumed with her, the orange and wisteria mixture of perfumes and soaps she had smelled like. The color of her eyes that seemed to be everywhere he looked, even the little lemon pastries that seemed to be more sugar and lemon than necessary he had grown fond of. He felt like a dog, wanting to be around her all the time, follow her as she looked off into nothing and ruminated on things. He wanted to sit alongside her as she wrote letters and studied books. He couldn’t put a finger on the moment he fell in love with her, but it was terrifying to think of how fast it was. He expected her to be repulsed by him, to feign happiness that barely masked her disgust of being married to the dragon. Though they never said ti outright, there was a reason humans had settled in a new kingdom, forgetting the dragons they had once lived alongside. The older siblings may react that way, but Kyojuro got lucky. Y/N Rengoku had been the perfect person all along, a betrothal that may have been written into the stars, fate spinning their thread of destiny and intertwining the chord of their lives sos they lived a happy one. That’s why the waiting killed Kyojuro, because if anything happened to her, here would he end up? Heartbroken and unfit to rule. He would give every jewel and every silk he ever collected to make sure you woke up okay.

“Alright, you may leave, I shall wait for the queen” With a dismissive wave of his hand Murata was quick to leave. Kyojuro sunk into the couch, leaning his head back on the pillows with a deep sigh.

“try to get some rest son, I shall have Senjuro sit here in case something happens.” Shinjuro didn’t wait for an answer, leaving the house immediately. Though rest ould not come with his anxiety this high, he knew rest would be a good idea. So he tried to take it easy. He took the soiled blankets, clothes, and clothes to be washed. He hand scrubbed everything to make sure everything was pristine for when you woke. The cloth had blood stained into it, but it would stay as a fond reminder of your mating. Maybe it could be used as abstract art alongside the bloodied scale that sat on your side of the bed. You would find that gross but funny, so Kyojuro kept it on him as he stepped back into the bedroom. You were still fast asleep, the steady rise and fall of your chest indicating that you were still in this world and that eased Kyojuro’s worries momentarily. You didn’t move, not even a flinch as Kyojuro crawled in besides you, laying on his side to look at your sleeping face. You were facing him, your mouth parted slightly as you dreamed. Your hands were under your head, like they were your pillow instead of the silk one Kyojuro had imported for you. It was cute, your little habits. Although he didn’t feel tired, he didn’t want to leave you. What if you woke up and needed something? He felt restless, anxiety filled his veins urging him to run, to fly, to get away. He wanted to scream, to cry. His nerves were shot looking at you, at your peaceful face, when he felt a pit forming in his stomach, growing bigger with each minute you slept. He needed to leave.

Senjuro sat on the couch, a book in his hands while his wings spread out behind him, covering the whole couch.

“Father really did send you?”

“You didn’t hear me come in?” Kyojuro shook his head, taking a seat in one of the armchairs. “What were you doing?”

“Washing some clothes, the soaps in Ravenhill are too strong for my nose, irritate me,” Senjuro nodded, approving of his brother’s answer and returning to his book.

“I’ve been reading about human and dragon relations. There are many relationships in the southern territories. The void dragons and poison dragons in particular. I wonder why that is. Does Obanai have a wife?” Kyojuro rolled his eyes at the question. Obanai would rather slit his throat than court anyone, let alone a human. He dislikes everyone, let alone someone who can’t withstand the lack of light in his home.

“Not at all. He would lose his mind before marrying anyone, dragon or human.” Senjuro laughed at the blunt answer. Nodding along.

“You’re right. Anytime I’ve met him, he’s been very prickly. Shinobu is marrying a human though, maybe it’s destiny.” Kyojuro shook his head again, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. There was no destiny for them. Alexander was a bastard, angry and spiteful. He was awful and Kyojuro felt bad for the poison dragon.

“Kyo?” Both dragons turned towards the hall where the queen stood. She wore one of Kyojuro’s robes, the deep gray robe swallowed her whole and Kyo9juro smiled at the look of her. She was still half asleep, eyes squinted and a yawn barely concealed behind her hand.

“I’ll should get home. Hello Y/N” Senjuro was quick to leave, shutting the door behind him. Y/n shuffled over to the couch. Soft steps muffled as she stumbled over the robe. Kyojuro reached over for her hand as soon as she sat down.

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” There was no hesitation between his answers, his wife’s eyes trailing over his worried features.

“I’m good. Tired and a little sore, but I’m okay. It’s late, how long did I sleep”

“21 hours,” she chuckled in disbelief, shaking her head.

“That’s a lot. I don’t feel any different. Check me” she dropped his hand, standing up from the couch. She untied the robe quickly, letting it fall off her shoulders and onto the floor. Kyojuro sat in shock, looking at his wife’s figure on display. She was bruised, the bite on her a deep purple, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. There was nothing else visibly wrong, and Kyojuro smiled at that fact.

“Your beautiful.” The color that darkened her skin with embarrassment had her suddenly feeling shy, scooping the robe back up and putting it back on. She was speechless, mouth opening and closing while she tried to find a response. There wasn’t one, so she turned around, heading into the kitchen. Kyojuro’s heavier steps followed behind her, stopping in the archway of the kitchen while she fumbled around for a cup.

“Y/N” she turned with her empty cup. “I love you” The baritone in the way he spoke Draconish was intimidating, but the emotion in his voice matched with the sincerity in his eyes made her want to melt.

“Kyojuro.” She paused, surprised by the serpent like sounds coming from her mouth. She placed the cup on the counter next to her, stepping to her husband. “I love you too. You make me feel heard. I feel like you truly see me and anything I can do anything as ling as I have you. I love you so much, i have for a while.” The ease that settled into Kyojuro’s heart at hearing her words spoken in his native tongue made him feel on top of the world.

268 notes · View notes

ahaha-fvckjjj · 1 year ago

Text

Telling them: “You look like you can’t swim”

!!SPOILERS!!

AN: Why is there a mermaid in my scifi future space otome game? IDK but I am ✨obsessed✨ with him ♡

dividers by cafekitsune

Zayne

Gives you the most deadpanned look

Asks if you have a fever and if it’s frying your brain

Teasingly leans in close to take your temperature with his forehead to fluster you

Then asks if you need a new glasses prescription and proceeds to grill you on the last time you went to an optometrist

Xavier

Confused puppy dog stare

Asks you genuinely what traits he has that make you assume that

Also asks you if you think he should practice swimming

Pls tell him it’s a joke. He is confused and doesn’t know if he should be concerned about it

Rafayel

The man, the myth, the legend

He took that personally and is SO offended by it

Like has he not be dropping enough hints that he is literally a fish?

Is about to throw you over his shoulder and take you to the nearest beach and drag you out into the ocean with him to show you his amazing swimming skill

You manage to talk him out of it, but he’s still pouty

Coddle him and tell him that you can visit the sea some other time, so he can show you his amazing skills ♡

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #zayne #zayne x reader #xavier #xavier x reader #rafayel #rafayel x reader #x reader #i write sometimes #lads #lads x reader

715 notes · View notes

konfeitos · 8 months ago

Text

ROMANCE IS BORING.ㅤ⸺͏͏ㅤJJK MEN & M!READER

❛ ⠀♡ . ˑ⠀featuring : choso , nanami kento , higuruma hiromi , getou suguru

❛❛ ⠀Am I ready for love? Or maybe just a best friend? Should there be a difference, do you have instructions? ⠀❜❜ ⠀or ⠀being in a queer platonic relationship with jjk men !

❛ ⠀♡ . ˑ⠀notes : male reader. either the reader / jjk men, or both, can be seen as arospec. queer platonic relationships are just as important and equal to romantic relationships! all qprs are different from each other and are all valid. not proofread. divider by cafekitsune.

⟣ CHOSO ⏖ ♡ ! ㅤㅤIt was a struggle to put his feelings into words when it came to you. Nothing that he could possibly weave together ever grew close to accurately describing his emotions and how he viewed the relationship between you and him. You are important to him. Of course you are. Just as much as Yuuji is important to him. Except… he didn’t view you the way that he did with his brothers. Those feelings didn’t push him to see you as more than that at the same time.

All that he knew for certain was that he adores you and you adore him. The way you look at him with smiles has his heart grow in multiple sizes. A label wasn’t necessary to place on you for him to know that he cared deeply for you. That he would do all that he possibly could to ensure your happiness and safety.

There’s not a doubt in his mind that you share this sentiment. He senses it in the way you reach for his hand to hold and squeeze tightly as if you plan on never letting go. The way you nudge him to open up his arms for you to give him a hug the second you notice anything off before he even realizes it.

You openly express your affection for him that his heart squeezes far too many times to the point that he wonders whether he should visit a doctor.

It makes him pause whenever you two are asked if you’re dating. He never knows what to say. The love is mutual between you two for sure, but that doesn’t mean you’re both in love with one another.

Yet he knows saying such a thing would garner strange looks or comments how you’re both confused or shouldn’t be using the word love to describe such a dynamic if it isn’t a romantic relationship. But he sees nothing wrong with using the word when it comes to you.

He loves you. He loves you so much and will gladly let the world know it even if nobody else aside from you would understand.

⟣ NANAMI KENTO ⏖ ♡ ! ㅤㅤMany people (read: one particular Gojo Satoru) joked or assumed that you and Nanami were together. There wasn’t a day that went by without someone making a comment about the two of you. You were always seen together doing just about anything and everything. All of Nanami’s spare time was dedicated to you, and you fussed over him like a concerned boyfriend. Why weren’t you two together?

The pestering always annoyed him. This insistence that a relationship between two people had to be one way or the other. Or that people were that invested over somebody else’s relationship. What did it matter to them?

All he wanted was to exist. With you specifically.

Whenever a mission would get too rough, his mind would drift to his thoughts of retiring and running away to Malaysia. In each and every single one of them, you were there right by his side. He yearned for solitude so deeply, but for a solitude that included you as well.

Where there would be no prying eyes to how the two of you interacted with one another. Nobody would make any jabs at both of you guys’ indifference to ever developing a romantic relationship with one another. No judgment would be made, not that he paid any attention to how people may perceive the nature of your relationship and interactions with each other, on the love shared between you two.

It’s very easy to imagine taking a stroll on the shore of the beach and having you hand in hand.

The next time that Gojo cracks a joke upon catching the two of you visiting Nanami’s favorite bakery, hands full of his favorite bread and your favorite pastries, and linked arms, Nanami is ready with a response. He waits to hear the familiar question of whether you two are together to answer with a simple,

“I’ve always been his.”

⟣ HIGURUMA HIROMI ⏖ ♡ ! ㅤㅤNot once has Higuruma ever considered that he would find himself in a relationship quite like the one he has with you. Granted, the possibility of having any sort of close and intimate relationship with anyone always came across as impossible. There wasn’t time for him to spare for anyone else. He was too caught up with his own work and wrangled up in his passion for justice. At least that was the case until he met you.

Your presence in his life has redefined many things for him. A new passion in him sprouts and blossoms with every passing second that he spends with you. One that is devoted to you and only you, and it grows at the mere sight or thought of you.

Nobody else understands him the way that you do.

Each time he is weighed down by a trial that has led to an unjust verdict for his client and he catches a glimpse of their expression, you are the one who seeks for comfort. You very easily understand what he needs without any need for words. Despite being a rather tall man, he succumbs to making himself so small while being gathered into your arms.

It’s easy to sense how all he wishes for is the comfort and warmth you never fail to provide him. His soul feels intertwined with yours and his heart wants to be held with those gentle hands of yours. Said gentle hands that always seek out to cup his face and gently him closer to look at you directly.

Without fail, you whisper to him sweet reassurances and nothings. You are always determined to make him feel loved and cared for. And as he gets lost in staring into the warmth of your gaze, being placed looked at with such a loving stare, there’s only one thought that lingers in his mind.

I’m lucky to have you.

⟣ GETOU SUGURU ⏖ ♡ ! ㅤㅤIt’s rather funny to Getou how Nanako and Mimiko can fully understand the intricate bond between you and him compared to other grown adults. Plenty of people assume that you are together or married. Nanako and Mimiko’s habit of referring to you as their other dad most likely plays a factor into that.

Or maybe it’s also due to the fact that he never fails to lean close and kiss your nose or your cheek or wherever he can reach. It could also be the fact that you openly address him as your other half, your husband, and other sweet terms of endearment that has his heart skip a few beats.

Anyone who dares to assume that something romantic is going on between you and Getou are quick to receive odd looks from you, Getou, and your girls. Then again, he supposes he can’t expect that for anyone outside this little family of yours to fully know how strong this bond is that it goes beyond their comprehension of love and relationships.

Both of you are fairly affectionate with each other, whether you’re out in public or alone in the privacy of your home. As mentioned earlier, he presses a kiss to any inch of your skin he has access to and pairs it with a reminder of his love for you. And you slot yourself into his side with ease like you belong there (which you do). Your head gets tucked under his chin and it doesn’t take long for the two of you to fall asleep together.

There’s nothing to hide from you. You know full well his heart is for yours to hold and that your heart is kept safe in his.

Thinking about the future used to be grim, but knowing that you will be there every day in his future with the girls brings him comfort.

298 notes · View notes

evolnoomym · 7 months ago

Text

Bigger than the whole sky 🌌

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt.2🌠 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You meet Joel and well of course you fall for each other. It’s a bit bumpy since he’s your Dads best friend. But things seem to work out until they don’t anymore. One event changes everything.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pov switches that might be confusing, female reader, reader has hair, reader wears makeup, reader can get pale, weight loss, implied childhood abuse, trauma, angst, heavy angst(?), implied smut, alludes to pregnancy, funerals, coffins, reader has no name only a bunch of nicknames, size difference, dbf!Joel Miller, mentions of throwing up, loss of a loved one, grief, depression (?), food and eating issues are mentioned, talks of having a baby, Blood, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts, age gap, readers age is not exactly mentioned but Joel is 44, talks of getting married….

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @almostfoxglove ‘s Angst Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is also only my second time posting writing for a specific character. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. This not beta read btw only by my eyes and they hurt after starring at the screen for so long 🌌🫶🏻

And lastly I’ll leave some songs i listened to while writing <3

loml by Taylor Swift

Black Friday by Tom Odell

This is what the drugs are for by Gracie Abrams

I guess by Mitski

Present by Lloyd Vaan

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Home by Daughter

Allowed to be Happy by Gustavo Santaolalla

Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire, Owen Pallet

aisatsana [102] by Aphex Twin

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Francis Forever by Mitski

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

Medicine by Daughter

Youth by Daughter

I can barely say his name by Patrick Jonsson

listen before I go by Billie Eilish

You remember exactly how you met Joel Miller, it was so simple. He was the one to give your Dad a job at the construction company he led together with his younger brother Tommy. In the beginning you only heard how great of a boss he supposedly was through your Dads stories.

Joel and him seemed to have grown into real good friends in the span of mere weeks. You always had wondered what the man from his stories was like in person, up close.

When you had to drive to the construction site to bring your Dad his lunch he had forgotten due to being a bit busy that morning. It seemed like your wishes to meet Joel would become reality. You didn’t think the big boss would spend his precious time with the actual building process but as you'd figure out in the future, Joel is a hands on kinda guy.

You must’ve looked super out of place and quite lost when he approached you. His Texas drawl still echoed through your head hours later. „Well Hello Darlin, lookin for someone?“ and if that alone didn’t completely blew you away, then certainly his stunning looks. When you turned towards the voice a tall, broad and awfully handsome man looked back at you.

After an awkward beat of silence he stretched his hand out towards you “Apologies sweetheart, should’a start with the name, huh?” Tilting his head slightly “Name’s Joel, Joel Miller.” At that you let your hand slip onto his outstretched one. His hand was so huge, warm and calloused. Shaking his hand kinda calmed you down Joel Miller was absolutely lovely. “Nice to finally meet the famous Joel Miller that my Dad keeps yapping about nonstop.” You giggled while cheekily winking at him.

That must’ve been a key moment for everything that was to follow. You’d see Joel again and again. Whether due to your Dad inviting the single, 44 year old Man over or due to you having to deliver your Dad’s forgotten food.

The tension was slowly building higher and higher between you two until one day in Joel’s office you could no longer hold back.

Joel stood in his office with you by his side, in front of a pinboard containing all sorts of information about his newest project. He was animatedly explaining processes you’d never understand in a million years. You actually kind of tuned him out and just enjoyed being unbelievably close to him.

Then his face kinda looked confused. Oh no he must’ve asked you a question. Shaking your head you say “Mhhh sorry, what did you just ask?” Joel tilts his head towards you the way he always does and then states “Ya didn’t listen to a single word I just said, right Sweetcheeks?”

He always comes up with the most ridiculous nicknames that cause a vicious pull in your lower stomach. You lost count of how many conversations with him ended in drenched panties.

“I….i -of course I was listening to you, why wouldn’t I?” You stammered a bit offensively, surely he’d see right through you.

“Hm kay, so what was I talkin bout, gorgeous?” He’s teasing at this point.

“Ok I wasn’t listening but that is a lot I don’t get anyway so can you really blame me, Miller?” You fired back.

“So, whatcha thinkin bout inside of that pretty little head of yours, instead of listening to me?” You just scoff at him “Let’s not pretend you don’t know exactly what I was thinking about Joel.” Pointing one accusing finger at his broad chest. At that motion Joel enveloped your wrist in one of his massive hands, pulling you closer that way. Until you were right in front of him, only a tiny space left between your faces. “Why don’t ya tell me whatcha thinkin about Baby?”

He must know, just by seeing how your eyes keep slipping down to glance at his pillowy lips, what is going through your head. You’ve been dancing around this topic, the tension, the pull towards each other, how forbidden it is for all of this to happen. Joel is your Dads Best friend and he’s twice as old as you are but you know that if you don’t kiss him right now you’ll go insane. It’s all you think about, kissing him and then some more.

For the first time in years you actually consider letting someone get so close again. Joel would never hurt you like the ones before him did, no, he’s mature and wouldn’t play any of those stupid games. You know how kind, considerate, protective and caring he is for the ones he loves. Sure it won’t be easy to explain any of this to your Dad but you can’t think about that right now, no, you have to kiss Joel, it’s the last thought before leaning up to push your lips against his.

One chaste kiss that erupted into a full blown make out session that only got interrupted by some frantic knocks at Joel’s Office door.

From that day on those meetings became a routine, in his office, his truck, his house or sometimes he’d take you out of town for a super secret Date. The thrill of hiding with the possibility of getting caught soon turned into shame for lying to your Dad so much. You wanted to tell him even though it scared you more than anything how he might react.

Surprisingly though he didn’t completely freak out, of course he was shocked and confused how this combination came to be. More than anything he took the lying personally and made clear that as long as you are happy, so is he. If Joel was the one then so be it, besides your Dad has a lot of respect for Joel and knows you're in good hands.

After 3 months of being an official couple Joel asked if you’d be happy to move in with him. You had to think about it for a long time, feeling quite guilty about leaving your Dad behind but he reassured you that he would be fine on his own. He told you that a grown woman like you shouldn’t have to live with her boring old man anymore than you already did.

So you moved into Joel’s house. And what followed were months filled with wonderful memories. Many barbecues were held, your Dad and Joel always standing at the grill together, each nursing on their beer bottles.

Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe your Dad was invited over so you could make sure he still ate enough, the night always ending with you sending him home with a bunch of Tupperware's filled to the brim with deliciously homemade meals.

When you wanted to paint the walls in the living room a new shade your Dad came over to help.

Making sure his baby girl is happy and content was your Dads number one priority.

Then one day you went over to his house to catch up a little bit, just you two having some Dad and Daughter one on one quality time.

He was so excited when you told him that Joel and you want to have a baby.

He told you what a great mother you’d make because of how wonderful you always have been with kids and how much you always wanted to have kids of your own.

To others it might’ve been weird to share such an information with their Dad but you have such a close bond that it’s not weird at all.

You were so happy on the drive home cuz you know what great grandpa he’d make.

It must've been exactly one week later when you woke up with an indescribable feeling in your chest. As if the world spun a little slower, or the air felt more compromising…whatever it was you couldn’t stop feeling like something had happened.

Your intuition only perked up more when your Dad didn’t show up for the usual Sunday’s breakfast you recently started doing.

After 8 calls that nobody picked up you told Joel you would drive over there and as if he knew that you would need him for whatever was awaiting you there, he came with you.

The closer you got to the house the worse you felt. Hands sweaty, heartbeat racing and your stomach felt like turning over at the sight of the house. Usually he would be up by now playing his obnoxiously loud music that you’d hear on the street through the open kitchen window. Instead it was eerily quiet.

When Joel had parked the car he told you to wait for him but you couldn't. You just ran up the steps, unlocked the door with your spare key and bolted through the house as if on instinct you skipped up the steps to his bedroom. You flung the door open and there he was. Just laying on his designated side with his glasses still on and one hand on his chest across his heart. He looked like he was just sleeping but deep down you knew he was not. You can’t remember a lot, only that you immediately bolted towards the bathroom to empty your stomach out, Joel came up too and tried comforting you through the heaving. Then he tried to get you away from the scene. Joel took care of everything while you just locked up inside of yourself. No tears, no screams, no words, not a singular reaction just nothing. Joel had never seen you look so…empty.

Later on the authorities would say it’s just natural cause, he simply passed in his sleep, nothing dramatic. Not the kind of closure you would have wanted. It didn’t matter how “normal” it was, your world stopped spinning entirely. Everyone seemed to go one but you just stopped.

Suddenly without any foreshadowing everything was completely flipped on its head. You loved him so much, he was your best friend. He told you all the time how much he loved you even with all your struggles. You’d never have to prove your worth to him; he'd love you no matter what. In his eyes you were a gift, opposite to your mother that looked at you as a burden. You never felt loved by her. She took away your precious childhood and forced you to grow up quickly. So you could take care of her. Even when you told her how close to the edge you were she always made everything about herself. Out of your parents the one person that actually wanted you, died and with him so did your willingness to continue with the fight against all your inner demons.

You lost yourself after that. For weeks you just slept, barely moving, only getting up to use the toilet and perhaps eat something small and drink a bit. Joel had to shower you, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it yourself. Who you were before losing your Dad was gone, as if you died with him.

Joel tried everything in his power to make you feel better. One time he wanted to paint with you since you loved to do that, but the moment your eyes caught sight of the little paint pots you ran for the toilet to empty out your stomach. Later on he realized his mistake, you used to paint with your Dad a lot all the way back in your childhood so of course that would not make you feel better. Then he tried playing music for you either your favorite songs from your playlist or on his guitar. Nothing, you just continued to be completely catatonic.

Then the funereal came, a day Joel dreaded he was not sure you’d be able to handle it. In the morning he made your hair and applied a bit of makeup, he watched you do your little routine often enough to know what he was doing. Afterwards he dressed you in a simple black dress and equally black flats. Walking only worked since Joel kept you upright.

Sitting in the front row bench at the chapel you looked like a ghost. Pale and sunken in. You were asked to do a speech about your Dad but that would’ve been impossible. So Joel went up to do it instead. You just stared straight ahead at the coffin, not sparing a glance towards Joel.

And once everything was over, the people, mostly his colleagues, paid him their respects. When everyone was gone you stayed and just laid your head on the coffin silently sobbing, which was the most emotion Joel had seen in weeks from you. Only he was to witness this vulnerability.

Staring at the completed grave was just as daunting. His name is written in cold stone. All that’s left is this hole in the earth and a stone on top with his name.

You walked away without sparring another glance toward the grave.

Then it seemed like you were getting better. You spoke more, ate more and slept less. You even searched out body contact with Joel, though it was just some cuddling and gentle kissing. But he took it as a step in the right direction.

You almost fully returned to your old self but Joel could have not predicted how wrong he would be.

He should’ve listened to his gut that told him something was off when you didn’t kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning.

You know how hard it will be but there’s no other choice. You have to get away, you have to leave so he can find someone better, someone who deserves a man like Joel Miller, someone less troubled, someone normal.

Those fears you have now, always were inside of you but with your Dad passing they just all came to the surface. Grief killed you, it took everything, it’s as if you're in a room with a beautiful glowing bulb and some dark entity just rips it away. You're left in the dark and not even Joel’s light can make it better.

You lost something nothing can replace.

All your life you feared what would happen if you’d lose someone like this without any way of getting closure, he died without any warning just poof and gone he was.

Your final goodbye was never said.

Now you can’t remember how he used to be, you only remember him laying in his bed without moving a damn muscle,dead. You were the one to find him and even though it was not some unsettling scene it’s not leaving your head. You try hard to remember how he spoke that sarcastic tone he usually used.

You can’t remember his face anymore, not even looking at pictures brings him back and at the same time he’s all you think about as if he’s haunting you. You hate him for leaving you so early. Why him? What kind of curse was laid upon you that everything always seems to fall apart when you think it’s finally working out.

It’s as if some higher up can sense that you are happy and content with your life and they don’t want to give you that sorta life.

The moment your brain processed what had happened you fell into the darkness like a big hole that sucked you in without any way out. Anyone around you could be another loss so what do you do? You leave, you disappear so no one gets hurt by whatever is wrong with you.

Looking at yourself hurts because it’s him you see and it’s him you hear in your head he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sometimes you feel like you’re hallucinating because you swear to see him round the corner, you can almost hear him call out but when you try to look there’s nothing.

Sometimes but much rarer than you’d like to admit you’ve visited the grave, sometimes you speak to no one. Sometimes you scream in agony till you almost lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes you just stare.

It’s a sick twist of events considering how often he walked on cemeteries with you as a child. You didn’t understand the meaning behind them back then, you only loved to admire the beautiful flower ornaments laying on top of the graves. Your dad always told you how soothing these walks seemed for you.

One time he took you and you had so much fun admiring the flowers giggling and smiling. Your dad wanted to tell you off since it’s a place where people grieved especially with a woman sitting nearby crying. He went to apologize to her on your behalf but the woman told him not to. She thought it was an uplifting sight to see little you having so much joy about the flowers, that’s a story he always kept telling you again and again.

All your life those walks soothed your frayed mind. The quiet somber energy is something no other place could compare with. Now it’s the last place you’d wanna be in. The moment you step foot on the property, the panic starts to creep up on you. The closer you get to him the worse it gets.

Sometimes the voices in your head scream to just start digging into the earth to get him out of that godforsaken coffin. Look at him, do something to bring him back. If the devil would show up to take you instead of your dad you’d do it. He was a troubled man but he tried so hard. He did not deserve any of this, he should’ve been here for all the good times yet to come.

You imagined him walking you down the aisle, having that stupid first look with him where he’d surely try so hard not to cry but looking at his baby in a wedding dress would’ve been way too much for him to stay strong. You imagined having your first dance with him.

You imagined how excited he would’ve been to hear that he was going to be a grandpa. In your head you can see him with a little baby that looks just like you. But none of this will ever happen; he's dead.

Sometimes it’s hard to even look at Joel. He's connected to him as well; he was his boss and one of his closest friends. It’s not fair you know but in your head you see Joel and your dad laughing on the porch about some old men shit like always making their awful dad jokes. Or drinking a beer together or looking to fix something around the house.

The house, Joel’s house and a place your dad spent a lot of time in. Walking through the hallways is not pleasant anymore, the couch is avoided as best as you can. He used to sit here all the time watching soccer games with Joel. The chair at the dining table he always sat on had to be removed simply seeing it made you sick and eating was already a hefty struggle since he passed.

He left a mark anywhere and all of it was getting too much. The pressure in your head becomes more and more unbearable.

Even though you tried to push all those negative festering thoughts away the voices could not be shut up no matter what you tried.

The worst was when they started to go for Joel, suddenly all you could think of was how he’d die. Joel is only 10 years your dad’s junior. So if he died then why not Joel too.

So many horrible scenarios played out inside your mind. Car accident, some freak accident on a construction site, getting attacked by multiple people, torturing him slowly, beating him to death, his head all split open, blood everywhere, or what if he gets shot by some crazy Texan who loves guns. There really was not a scenario left to imagine.

Nightmares in the most cruel ways destroying you slowly from the inside out. And that just proved how one thing can make an avalanche of events happen. He was your purpose for most of your life, you only continued to play this game called life because you could not leave him. And now he left you.

One time he told you how if it weren’t for you he’d be dead or in jail since there would be no reason to give a damn about his life. He was just like you, living for others instead of for himself. No one understood you like him. Somewhere deep inside you know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself so much but that singular fact does nothing compared to all the ever suffocating darkness.

You’d give anything to have him back, feel his warm embrace one more time, hear him say how much he loves you, have him tell you one of his stories, have him tell you it’s going to be alright, take one more look and inhale his signature scent. You have one of his shirts doused in his favorite perfume, it’s what you used to do in all those years you lived far away from him during childhood. Now it does not help like it did back then. What remains of him? Nothing, all of his stuff shoved into a storage unit looked up, buried just like him.

You know Joel tried hard to be supportive and not push you too hard. Sometimes you wished he would’ve just screamed at you, slapped some sense into you and told you to stop being such a disgraceful mess. That’s what they would’ve done.

But Joel is not like that, he helped you so much. Putting himself so far behind. So much so that you feel sorry he has to deal with an ill girlfriend, that’s what you are, a mental wreck.

He deserves better treatment than the lackluster one you have given him in the last months. He deserves to be free of your weight dragging him down towards the abyss. Even though he told you in the beginning that he loves you with all the baggage and all the challenges, you cannot let him continue to waste his time.

Besides you’re convinced he’d leave you anyway like everyone before one way or another you end up alone. You have no control of the situation but if you leave then you have the control it still hurts but it’s the only option in your head.

The decision was made weeks ago, it felt wrong to lie to Joel to keep him thinking everything is fine only to then rip it all away but perhaps it’ll make him hate you so it’s easier. If he hates you then he will be able to move on with his life. Burn all you build together down.

And then you knew today would be the day. You couldn’t bear to kiss him in the morning; it would only make everything harder. Some time after he left you got up. One last time using the shower you both occasionally used together having foam party’s, giggling, washing each other and then kissing, touching till it leads to you with your cheek squished against the tile and Joel behind you ferociously hitting that special spot inside of you, till you both reach your high. Now you’re alone staring at that specific spot in the tiles, too much so you turn away.

One last time looking at yourself in the mirror above the sink, the mirror Joel and you both looked into while brushing your teeth. You dry your hair, put on fresh clothes, nothing too dramatic, just some simple black leggings and a black cotton shirt.

Then you start packing the most important stuff into two big suitcases. Basically only clothes, some hygiene products and a few trinkets that you don’t want to leave behind. The rest can be either sold by Joel or thrown away. You don’t care, the less holding you back the better.

Once the suitcases are packed you haul them down the stairs towards the front door. And then you just wait. For hours you sit at the dining table just staring ahead at the wall opposite where so many photos of Joel and you hang so many memories and you’ll destroy it.

You should feel bad but these days you barely feel anything, numb is what you think you feel most of the time. Maybe that’s what your ex meant when he said that you don’t own a heart, that you’re a cold blooded mean person. Someone who plays with people until they stop serving their purpose, that's what he said.

It’s almost 8pm, Joel should be home soon. You have practically studied the words you’ll say. An Uber already ordered to arrive 15 minutes after he should get home. Not much to talk about the less the easier so you can just walk away.

Then you hear it, Joel’s truck driving up the driveway and coming to a halt. How he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. His keys jiggling while he searches for the right one. Unlocking the door and closing it behind him. You don’t turn towards him although you know he must be looking at you in astonishment. He can not miss the suitcases and something about the lack of his words tells you he knows exactly what this means.

Joel cannot believe what he walked into, he knew something was off but just thought that he was starting to imagine things but here you are sitting like an empty shell of yourself and the packed suitcases can only mean one thing, he tries his hardest not to freak out that won’t make anything better.

He starts walking towards you, slowly, once he reaches the threshold of the living room he speaks up

“Moon, Darling what’s goin on?” He immediately continues “What’s with those suitcases, huh?” He can’t even hide the nervous quiver in his voice.

You turn to finally look at him with empty eyes, get up and walk up to him and then “I have to leave.” And with that you move to walk past him but Joel stops you by reaching for you arm, you immediately pull your arm away hissing “Don’t fuckin touch me Joel.”

He’s stunned by this harsh rejection, his expression full of hurt. Yet he persists by getting close, grabbing your face with both hands, his warm calloused hands that you love- loved so much. He urges “Talk to me baby, what is going on, why would ya need to leave?” Even with everything he tried to be gentle, his voice panicked yet almost just a whisper.

He can see in your eyes some sadness creeping in when you mutter “Joel..-“ you take one deep inhale “-…this House no longer feels like home.” He can tell even with how hard you try to appear collected that it pains you to say those words. “Wh…what do ya mean? If- if the house is the problem we can just move.” You cut in “No Joel, no i..I don’t love you anymore. Ok? I can’t stay here any longer.”

It’s a punch right into his gut there’s no way you are serious. “Baby all ya stuff is here you can’t just leave.” He tries to find something to buy him time. “I don’t care Joel just…just throw it away or sell it or I don’t know fuckin burn it. I won’t need it anyway.” He’s so shocked that you use that to continue your path towards the front door and the waiting suitcases.

On top of one suitcase lies a tote bag containing your phone, a jacket and your wallet sits. You swing it over your shoulder, you can hear that Joel has started crying, his huffed breaths are all you can hear.

That’s when a car starts honking outside, the Uber is here, you go to open the front door twisting the knob you can hear him walking up behind you with heavy steps. You open the door anyway with him at your back and you move the suitcases out onto the porch. Joel’s trying his hardest to contain his sobbing to a minimum but it’s hard he loves you so much, he thinks about the ring in his wardrobe hidden behind stuff you’d never go for and he thinks about the talks you two had of having a baby. If only he knew

His heart is breaking watching you walk away from all of it. You turn to him, one last time, he looks shattered, you've never seen Joel like this, you give him a nod as if to give him the ok to touch you one more time if only to give some kind of closure. He moves closer without hesitation and takes your face in his hands once more and leans his forehead against yours. His frantic breathing collides with your face and then “Wh…why Baby just why?” He sobs A simple question and you decide to give him at least something you reach up to put your hands over his to get him to open his eyes.

“Joel I’m not myself anymore, i-…i feel so all over the place and I’m so scared.” Tears start clouding your sight. “I need to be away from everything. I need to be alone far away to just maybe find some peace. I need to be gone.” And the tears start falling “No matter where I look I can’t stop seeing him and it’s crushing me.” Now you're full on crying. He’s processing what you’re saying and somewhere in his mind he understands that, still he can’t believe this is it.

“Ok-….if ya need to go at least promise you’ll give some sorta sign ya alright?” He looks desperate “Please Baby….please just a text something anything.” You only nod and then pull out of his grasp, take the suitcases and shakinly make your way to the Uber. Joel can only watch and hope you’ll stick to your words, hope that you’ll find some kind of way back to yourself.

The Uber driver gets out as you approach and opens the trunk helping to put the suitcases in there. Then you walk to the right door on the back, open it and hesitate for a moment. Joel holds his breath but you continue to slip into the backseat. Closing the door and off the car goes. Joel doesn’t know for how much longer he stood on the porch long after the car was gone. What was there is no more.

Npt: @almostfoxglove @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell (honestly I’m tagging pretty randomly, sorry) 💙

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

#Joel Miller #joel miller one shot #dbf!joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #angst #almostfoxgloveangstchallenge #Mina’s writing #my writing

217 notes · View notes

dizzybunni · 18 days ago

Text

⋆˚✿˖° . . 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐣𝐨 𝐃𝐫 𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

⋆˚✿˖°

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ ; I very much suck at writing summaries— so be warned, this is more like an ambiguous oneshot than anything else.

— The start of the new school year had arrived, and with it, the music club reunited once more. The group remained as popular as ever, boasting a lineup of well-known peers, including Kawamoto, the charismatic and talented drummer. Yet, despite their reputation, the band struggled to stay focused, their practices often descending into playful bickering and occasional slacking—especially without a vocalist to anchor them.

It wasn’t until one late evening during practice that Kawamoto noticed something unusual. Through the narrow crack of the clubroom door, he caught sight of someone watching them. The mysterious onlooker darted off before he could get a proper look, leaving him momentarily baffled. He dismissed it at first, chalking it up to curiosity or coincidence.

But later that evening, as he was leaving the school, something stopped him in his tracks. A soft, ethereal voice floated down the hallway, drawing him toward the source like a magnet. Unable to resist, he followed the sound up to an empty classroom on the upper floor.

Peeking inside, he found her: a girl with headphones on, quietly sweeping the floor. She was utterly lost in thought, her delicate voice filling the room as she sang absentmindedly. It was angelic, raw, and completely mesmerizing.

He recognized her immediately—Saimori Yumiko, the foreign girl who had transferred to the city a few years ago. Known for being quiet and reclusive, she kept to herself so much that most students barely acknowledged her presence.

Before Kawamoto could stop himself, he stepped into the room. Unfortunately, his entrance was anything but subtle. His foot caught on a desk, sending it screeching across the floor. The noise startled Saimori, who ripped her headphones out and whirled around, her face a mix of shock and embarrassment.

“I—I’m so sorry!“ she stammered, bowing quickly as if on instinct. I didn't mean to spy on your club! I wasn't trying to be creepy or anything, I swear! Please don’t be mad—”

Her words tumbled out in a frantic stream, and Kawamoto froze, piecing it all together. The spying, the singing, the nervous apologies—it clicked.

A grin crept onto his face as an idea began to form.

This girl wasn’t just a shy classmate or a random onlooker. She was exactly what the music club needed. Now the real challenge was figuring out how to convince this reclusive girl to join them.

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱/ This is so bad oml… but anyhow I rewatched lovely ☆ complex again and decided I would go insane if I didn't have a Dr where all the cliches of a shoujo anime happen ( beach episodes, festivals, overdramatic firework setting confessions ) so that all this basically is + a band Dr !! * ( I wrote this from a 3rd person perspective, Saimori is who I am !! ) ★⌇animated line dividers by cafekitsune !!

#shifting blog #anti shifters dni #shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting

114 notes · View notes

justanoasisimagines · 7 months ago

Text

Fluff Alphabet

Requests are open! Request guidelines are pinned to the top of the page! Credit to @cafekitsune for the banner and the divider

A = Affection - How afectionate are they? Do they like recieving affection etc?

Theseus is moderately affectionate with you. He's going to kiss you in a greeting and goodbye. He likes to hold your hand. Theseus likes to receive attention from you. He enjoys knowing he has you to seek affection from you. For example, when he's up late working on paperwork and you press a kiss to his cheek.

B = Bathing - Do they like to bathe or shower alone? What's it like to share a bath or shower with him?

Theseus enjoys taking a bath with you. It allows you to catch up, to talk about your respective days while soaking in the bath. Theseus even reheats the bath if it gets too cold. He likes to rest in the tub tracing lines over your body. It's the perfect time for you both to relax.

C = Cooking - Can they cook? Do they like to cook? Would they cook for you? What type of dishes would they like to cook?

Theseus loves to cook, it's one of the ways he relaxes. Theseus has a range of cookbooks in his kitchen. Whenever he gets the opportunity. Theseus will try cooking, a new recipe so you can try it together. Cooking for you could be considered as one of Theseus's love languages.

D = Dates - What type of dates would they like to go on? Do they like to plan dates? Be taken on dates? How frequently is date night? etc Theseus likes to take you out for dinner. He also likes to take you to the movies and late-night walks. He likes to plan date nights. Sometimes his work schedule gets in the way. He's going to make time for date nights. He tries to make a date night at least once a week if it's possible.

E = Effort - How much effort do they put in? How do they show their efforts? Are they either an all out or all in kind of person?

When you both become serious, Theseus is one hundred percent in. He's going to send you flowers when he's busy with work. He's going to try to see you even if it's for a little while. Also when it comes to your relationship Theseus is always thinking about your future.

F = Family - Do they want to have children? What would family life look like? How many children do they want? etc?

Theseus wants the family life. he wants to get married, he wants to settle down. It's one of the reasons he works so hard so he can provide for the life he wants. Theseus would want between two and four children. Although Newt and himself aren't particularly close he'd want his children to have siblings.

G = Gentleman/Lady - How much of a gentleman/lady would they be? Would they hold out doors for you? Pull out your chair? Walk on the road side? etc

Theseus would consider himself a gentleman. He brings you flowers, opens up doors for you and always pulls you out chairs for you. He's protective and willing to provide you with whatever you need.

H = Honeymoon - Where would they like to go on honeymoon? What would it look like? etc

Theseus would plan to take you somewhere warm for your honeymoon. He'd plan for lounging on the beach, relaxing in the sun. You'd both go swimming and enjoy the new surroundings. It's a time for you both to enjoy the first few days of married life while taking time off work.

I = I love you - How long would it take them to fall in love with you? How would they confess? Is it a big deal to them etc?

It would take several months for Theseus to fall in love with you. What makes Theseus realize he's falling in love with you is a moment. One day he notices something different about his feelings. He knows then how deep his feelings go for you. It's a big moment for him to say I love you, although it is subtle.

J = Jealously - How easily do they get jealous? What makes them jealous? How do they react when your jealous? etc,

Theseus is not easily jealous. To make Theseus jealous it needs to be someone persistent. They need to keep crossing boundaries. They need to ignore your relationship and continue to pursue you. This leads Theseus to be jealous. He's quick to remind someone you're together and nothing is going to change that.

K = Kisses - What kisses are they more likely to give? What kisses do they like to recieve? etc

Giving; Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, temple kisses, neck kisses, i missed you kisses, lazy kisses.

Receiving; Good morning/ Good night kisses, smiley kisses, jawline kisses, reassuring kisses,

L = Love Language - What's their love language(s)? What languages are they most receptive to?

Theseus's love languages would be acts of service and gift-giving. He wants to do things for you to prove how much he loves you. He believes words can be used casually, yet actions reinforce the intention. Also regarding gift-giving, gifts can be thoughtful and memory-provoking. Buying you your favorite flowers can show he's listened. buying you a random trinket that may appear obscure to someone can reflect a memory or a private joke between the two of you.

M = Marriage - Do they want to get married? What would being married to them look like? Do they want a large or small wedding? etc

Theseus does want to get married. He doesn't want a massive wedding ceremony something small with your nearest and dearest. Theseus would be a dotting husband, always wanting to do right by you. He'd want to learn and grow with you as you move into different phases of your life together.

N = Nicknames - What nicknames would they use for you? Do you give any to them?

Nicknames for you; Love, Beautiful, Sweetheart and Honey

O = Obvious - How obvious are they? What gives them away? Their face or actions?

Theseus attempts to deny his obviousness. However, to everyone else it's obvious. It's the tenderness in the way he looks at you. The way his eyes can never leave you when you enter a room. He's more protective and considerate around you. Theseus smiles more and his happiness appears to generally improve.

P = Public Displays of Affection - Do they enjoy PDA? How comfotable are they with PDA?

Theseus is okay with moderate affection. He's more reserved when he's in public, however, he's still going to hold your hand and press a kiss to your temple. His reserved nature makes those affectionate moments between you more special and intimate.

Q = Quality Time - How do they like to spend quality time with you? How do they make time? Can they communicate effectively when they need quality time with you?

Theseus is always wanting to spend quality time with you, regardless of how that may look. Even if it's relaxing at home. It could be for half an hour during both of your lunch breaks. Theseus is good at finding those pockets of time. One of his skills however is communication. If he doesn't believe you're seeing enough of each other he's going to vocalise it.

R = Romantic - Do they consider themselves romantic?

Theseus would consider himself romantic. He knows how to plan romantic dinners and dates. He likes to bring you flowers home. It doesn't matter how long the two of you have been together, he'll still treat it as if you're dating.

S = Security - Do they feel secure in your relationship? What would they do if they didn't feel secure?

Theseus does feel secure in your relationship. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't feel secure. His security in your relationship is based on you two communicating when things need to be addressed. If Theseus didn't feel secure in your relationship then he'd vocalize it or perhaps he'd talk to someone about it. He wouldn't want to create an issue if they're wasn't one.

T = Tease - Do they like to tease you? If so, how?

Theseus doesn't tease you. Sometimes he struggles to let things go. He needs to have more fun. However, if anyone is going to tease anyone it's you. You're going to attempt to lure out that playful side for him. It could take years for it to happen but eventually, it does happen. Theseus could learn to become more playful with you.

U = Umbrella - Would they hold an umbrella for you? Would they kiss you in the rain? Dance with you in the rain?

Theseus prides himself on being a gentleman so he's going to hold out an umbrella for you. He'd rather himself drenched from the rain than you. If Theseus found out you wanted to kiss him in the rain then he's going to do it. Although he would be worried about you catching a cold.

V = Vanity - How do they see themselves? Positively or negatively? What's their favourite part of their body etc?

Theseus seems to himself quite positive. He's aware there's plenty more he could do to become a better person. He is quite harsh on himself in regards to his job in the ministry. If you asked Theseus what his favorite feature would be on himself he'd say his smile.

W = Whole - When you're apart do they feel like part of them is missing? How do they deal with being apart from you?

Theseus does miss you when you're gone. However, he does cope relatively well. He doesn't see the point of pinning after you when he could be busy allowing the time to slip away. He does plan a date for you when you return home.

X = Xtra - An extra headcanon

Newt's opinion of you is important to him. He knows his brother is a good judge of character and having Newt's approval is important to him. When the two of you meet for the first time, Theseus is the nervous one. He's the one who wants everything to go off without a hitch because he values his brother's opinion more than he lets on.

Y = You - What do you they like most about you? Favourite body part etc?

Theseus has a list of things he loves about you; your work ethic, your patience, your kindness, and your communication ability. Theseus generally admires you as a whole because he can't imagine a life without you. His favorite body part of yours would be your hands because they can provide a tender touch after a long day. They can massage his shoulders when work gets too much. Even to pull him away so he remembers to take a break.

Z = Zzzz - Sleeping headcanons

Theseus likes to hold you in his sleep. He likes the feeling of being close to you. He likes knowing you are safe and in his arms. It all brings comfort to him. You either curled up around him or he's curled around you. Theseus is the big spoon the majority of the time.

#Fantastic beasts and where to find them imagines #Fantastic beasts and where to find them imagine #Theseus Scamander imagines #Fantastic beast and where to find them oneshot #fantastic beast and where to find them one shot #Theseus Scamander oneshot #Theseus Scamander one shot #Fluff Alphabet #Requests are open #Theseus Scamander x Reader #FBAWTFT imagine #fbawtft imagine #fbawtft oneshot #fbawtft one shot

206 notes · View notes

alwaysmicado · 8 months ago

Text

why her?

4.6k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: alcohol, mention of self-harm & bad mental health, complicated feelings Summary: Joel tells Tommy that he’s been seeing you. A/N: He had to find out eventually...This fic is part of You wanted this and takes place before Joel finds you at the beach in Sink or swim. Enjoy this little glimpse into the Miller brothers’ relationship and let me know what you think! ♡ Dividers by the wonderful @cafekitsune.

“I fucked up, Tommy,” Joel blurts out as he strides past his brother, his footsteps heavy with agitation.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Tommy murmurs, his brow furrowing in surprise as he closes the door before following his distressed brother into the living room. “What’s wrong?”

Tommy watches Joel’s restless pacing with a mixture of confusion and worry as, between the two of them, his older brother is usually the calm and collected one. Feeling the tension radiating off Joel in waves, a palpable energy that fills the light-flooded room, leaves Tommy feeling unsettled.

“I’m a fucking idiot, that’s what’s wrong,” Joel’s voice is raw with self-recrimination, his fingers rubbing furiously at his forehead as if trying to erase the mistakes he’s made.

“What else is new?” Tommy attempts to lighten the mood and get a feel for how much of a fuck-up he’s working with here, but when he catches Joel’s glare, his smile disappears immediately.

Oh.

“What happened?”

Joel shifts uncomfortably, his left hand finding its way to his hip while his right hand brushes anxiously over his lips, unconsciously trying to contain the words struggling to break free.

When he finally meets Tommy’s gaze, there’s a storm brewing in his eyes—a whirlwind of guilt, apprehension, and uncertainty. Before he can second-guess himself, the words he’s been wrestling with spill out in a rush, each syllable heavy with the weight of his confession.

“Look, I didn’t wanna tell you like this, but I’ve been seeing someone.”

Taken aback, Tommy stares at his brother with a confused look on his face. “Okay? How is that–”

“It’s, uh,” Joel starts, his voice reducing to a low murmur as he says your name with downcast eyes.

Hearing the sound of your name coming out of his brother's mouth startles Tommy to his core, and the image it invokes in front of his inner eye causes him to start laughing immediately, like Joel just said the punch line of a hilarious joke.

This has to be a crude joke...right?

But when Joel’s scowl doesn’t flinch after a few tense seconds, Tommy's face falls.

“No,” he says quietly, shaking his head in disbelief. “No, no, no. Are you fucking kidding me?”

Joel’s jaw tightens, his face unmoving as he meets Tommy’s gaze head-on. “No, I’m not kidding.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Joel,” Tommy murmurs, his expression doing nothing to hide the horror he's feeling right now.

“Look, it’s–”

“How long?”

“Tommy…”

“How long?”

Joel sighs deeply and rubs the nape of his neck with his hand. “A few months. Since your, uh, housewarming thing,” he admits reluctantly.

Tommy’s jaw drops in disbelief, his eyes widening with incredulity. “Are you fucking serious? The day you met her. Where I introduced you. Here. I introduced you. And you have nothing better to do than go and sleep with her?”

“I didn’t plan for it to happen, okay?” Joel insists, his calm tone a sharp contrast to his racing heart. “We started spending time together and I can’t explain how, but things just clicked between us. She’s...different, Tommy, and I–I don’t remember ever feeling this way about someone.”

Tommy’s expression shifts from disbelief to outright shock as he absorbs his brother's words. “Hold the fuck up,” he interjects with a lifted hand. “Are you seriously trying to tell me that you’re in love with her?”

Joel’s eyes flicker with a mixture of vulnerability and determination as he meets Tommy’s gaze, silently conveying the depth of his emotions. It’s a moment of raw honesty, baring his soul to his brother in a way that words could never fully express.

“Jesus,” Tommy mutters, shaking his head. “So you’re what, moving in together, getting married, living happily ever after? Is that what you’re fucking telling me?”

Joel's throat tightens and his heart flutters at the vivid image his brother’s sarcastic words conjure—the future he so desperately wishes for with you, the future he can feel slipping through his fingers with every tick of the clock on the wall.

He sighs deeply and murmurs, “It’s not that easy.”

“Oh yeah,” Tommy scoffs. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s not easy to fuck someone I love.”

“Hey–”

“No, you explain to me why it had to be her. There’s four billion women on this goddamn planet, and you couldn’t keep it in your pants this one time? For me?”

“It’s not about you, Tommy.”

“The hell it isn’t. She’s been part of my life for years. Mine. You wouldn’t even know her without me.”

“I realize that. And I understand that from the outside it might look weird–”

“Might?” Tommy blurts out. “What’s going on with you? I’ve never seen you date someone that much younger than you, or even be interested in anyone in the past, I dunno, ten years. What the hell happened?”

“She happened. Tommy, I’m listening to my heart for the first time in over a decade and I…I can’t help it that it’s her.”

“You’re losing it, man,” Tommy scoffs.

“It’s the truth. I saw her that night and that was it for me. I–you know her, she’s–”

“Yeah, I do. I do know her. And I also know that she doesn’t need someone who’s gonna play with her heart and hurt her even more. She’s had enough of that bullshit.”

“I know–”

“The fuck do you know? Huh? You know nothing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Tommy says, taking a step closer, “get a grip and buy a car if you’re having a midlife crisis. Go pay a hooker or play golf or whatever the fuck you gotta do, but don’t involve a vulnerable girl–”

“Stop.”

“–just ‘cause you’re trying to relive your past and are confusing lust with love.”

Joel narrows his eyes. “Is that how little you think of me after everything we’ve been through? After everything I’ve done for you? Tommy. Look at me,” he pleads, searching for connection in his brother’s eyes. “I get that you’re upset, I do. But you know me. And I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to believe that my feelings for her are sincere.”

Holding his brother’s gaze, Tommy is torn between apprehension and the undeniable sincerity he sees in Joel’s eyes. It’s maddening—the push and pull of trust and doubt, love and resentment. But beneath it all lies a deep-rooted fear, a fear of seeing two people he holds dear get hurt, a fear that claws at his heart.

Running a hand through his hair in frustration he mutters, “It’s not right.”

“Hm. You honestly don’t believe I could love her and she could love me?”

Tommy averts his eyes, shrugging and slowly shaking his head.

“What’s wrong with me? You think I’m too old? Boring? Unlovable?” Joel asks, his tone laced with bitterness, the warmth in his eyes gone. “Or am I just not good enough for her ‘cause I’m not you?”

Tommy stares at his brother with wide eyes like he just slapped him across the face. But after a second of stunned silence, he nods and spits out a venomous, “Fuck you, Joel,” before storming off into the kitchen, his footsteps echoing loudly against the tiled floor.

Feeling the weight of his brother’s accusation, he leans over the counter, his palms pressing firmly against the cool marble surface. His chest heaves with each ragged breath, the sting of Joel’s words lingering in the air like a bitter aftertaste.

For Tommy, his affection for you transcends the bounds of friendship, romance, or sexual attraction; it’s a connection, a bond he treasures. He feels responsible for you, like your life is tied to his in a way. But it’s a sentiment he keeps hidden, knowing that few would understand the depth and nature of his feelings.

And yet, Joel’s words hit closer to the truth than Tommy is willing to admit, even to himself.

Deep down, beneath the layers of brotherly loyalty and protective instincts, there is a sliver of possessiveness he can’t ignore. Maybe, just maybe, he does think that no one is good enough for you—not even Joel. But he buries this feeling under the weight of his sense of duty and care, knowing it’s a dangerous path to tread.

He sighs deeply, the sound heavy with the unspoken truths he carries. “No”, he thinks, shaking his head slightly, Joel doesn’t understand. It’s not about being good enough, or being in love, or jealous, or protective; it’s about the irreplaceable bond he feels with you.

It’s about knowing you.

And it’s about knowing his brother.

“Tommy,” Joel’s voice breaks the silence, his tone laden with remorse.

“I need a fucking drink,” Tommy responds curtly, his back turned as he busies himself with retrieving a whiskey bottle and a glass from the liquor cabinet.

Joel approaches and joins his brother in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he watches Tommy pour himself a decent amount. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t meant to–”

“You know what, Joel?” Tommy turns to look at him. “I don’t care that you two are fucking. She’s an adult and if it makes her happy then so be it. What I do care about is that she’s started crying again.”

Joel blinks, taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Tommy snaps, knocking back his drink and grimacing at the bitterness of the alcohol.

“She was crying at the bar yesterday. And she was crying on Saturday when she called me ‘cause she sliced her fucking hand open, begging me not to tell you and send you over to help ‘cause you were on a date.”

Joel’s heart sinks like a stone as the weight of Tommy’s words settles heavily upon him. The thought that he wasn’t there for you while you were in pain has been gnawing at him all night and day, but hearing it from his brother cuts him to the core all over again, leaving him feeling utterly devastated.

“I’ve been trying to convince her to see her therapist to work through it, but she insists she’s fine when it’s clear as fucking day that she’s starting to spiral again. And you’re telling me you’re serious about her but she can’t even call you when she’s in trouble ‘cause you’re out with someone else?”

Tommy’s frustration is palpable as he stares at Joel, waiting for an explanation that might justify his brother’s actions. Joel’s hands tremble as he reaches out for the edge of the counter, his mind swirling with a torrent of regret and confusion. How could he have failed you in such a fundamental way?

A profound sense of guilt washes over him as he struggles to process the depth of his own shortcomings. He feels a lump form in his throat as he realizes the extent to which you must have felt alone and isolated, unable to turn to him for support.

“I didn’t know,” he whispers hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. “Tommy, I swear, she–she wouldn’t talk to me, and yesterday I…fuck, I–I snapped at her ‘cause she wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong, and now she thinks I’ll abandon her when that’s the last thing I’d ever do. She’s shutting me out again and it’s killing me.”

Tommy silently observes his brother, and the sincere distress he can detect in his voice makes him uneasy, but also reassures him that he might actually be telling the truth about his feelings for you. “What the hell is going on, Joel?” he murmurs, his eyes full of concern as he scans his brother’s face.

“I messed up bad, Tommy. And I–” Joel swallows heavily, a pained expression on his face as he looks into his brother’s eyes. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“You can’t do what anymore?”

“Act like I don’t wanna spend every second of every day with her. Like she isn’t all I ever think about.”

Joel's face softens and a smile spreads across his lips as he speaks the words his heart has known to be true all along. “Like I don’t love her.”

Tommy's heart skips a beat. “Shit.”

Joel scoffs, a lopsided smile on his lips. His younger brother’s always had such a way with words…

“Yeah. Shit.”

“You sure?”

“The sun rises and sets with her, Tommy.”

Tommy sighs deeply and closes his eyes for a moment before murmuring, “Get your ass out on the patio. I’ll go grab us some beers.”

Joel gives him a tentative smile. “Thanks, bud.”

“You’re welcome, jackass,” Tommy mutters under his breath as he heads toward the garage.

“Okay, let me get this straight,” Tommy says incredulously with a furrowed brow after listening to Joel giving him a rundown of the past few months.

“You’ve been doing all that and you weren’t sure if she has feelings for you? Jeez, and here I always thought you were the smart one.”

Joel chuckles wryly, lifting his cold beer to his lips before replying, “Yeah, well, my brain doesn’t work when it comes to her.”

He glances down at the label on the beer bottle, a faint smile touching his lips as he absentmindedly traces the lettering with his thumb. “And it turns out I’m not cut out for the whole friends-with-benefits thing. Pretty sure catching feelings on the first night’s the one thing you’re not supposed to do.”

Tommy shakes his head as he lets his gaze wander over to the flowers Maria has painstakingly planted in their backyard. The vibrant colors seem to blur together, his thoughts consumed by the weight of the situation his brother has presented him with. He shifts uneasily in his seat, his fingers tightening around the neck of his beer bottle, the cool glass offering a small measure of comfort in the midst of his inner turmoil.

It’s clear that his mind is still trying to process the complexity of emotions swirling within him, and judging by the tension in his grip, it’s going semi-well.

“Why’d you even think something like that could work?” he murmurs between sips, his eyes following a bee flying from flower to flower. “You’re way too old to be acting like a brainless, horny teenager.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re not trying to lecture me about relationships, are you?” Joel scoffs, his tone tinged with playful sarcasm. “You? The guy who married a stripper he met on a three-day bender and ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere when she stole his car and disappeared?”

“Case in point, asshole,” Tommy retorts as he shoots his brother a pointed glare. “I was thirty then, you’re fifty now. You should know better.”

“Oh, so was that you knowing better when you had an affair with your landlord’s wife two years ago? Or when you had an affair with your dentist’s wife, or with that girl whose husband chased you down the street while you were butt naked? Or–”

“Okay, I get it,” Tommy interrupts, rolling his eyes. “You can shut up now.”

“You know, Maria accepting your proposal was the luckiest break for married men in this town.”

Tommy snorts at the jab, and Joel’s smirk widens as he glances at his brother before turning his attention back to his bottle.

“I just love spending time with her…in whatever form,” Joel continues, his tone softening as he speaks. “She's smart, funny, beautiful, calls me out on my shit, and I honestly feel like she lets herself enjoy herself around me. That's what I love the most. Seeing her smile, feeling her be happy.”

Tommy nods, his brother's sentiment one he knows all too well.

“We, uh, we never said we were exclusive or anything, so she’s been doing her own thing, and I know that. But I just haven’t really been interested in anyone else since meeting her.”

“Why’d you go out with Jan then?” Tommy asks between sips. “I only set you up ‘cause I thought you weren’t getting any and she’s going through a divorce and could use some cheering up.”

Joel lets out a heavy sigh, his gaze drifting away as he searches for the right words. “I don’t know,” he admits quietly. “I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I could keep it casual and see other people, too.”

Tommy studies his brother’s face intently, searching for any hint of deception in his eyes as he awaits an answer to his burning question. “And?”

Joel’s eyes drop to his lap, his expression guarded as he murmurs, “I couldn’t. I can’t.”

A flicker of uncertainty crosses Tommy’s tense features, a subtle pang of doubt creeping into his mind, but he decides not to probe further. With a resigned nod, he acknowledges Joel’s response.

“Okay. So, why are you here and not with her, trying to fix things?”

“She’s not answering me and I already tried looking for her, but she’s not home or at the office, and you’re the only pers–”

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on,” Tommy interrupts him, leaning forward in his chair. “You’ve been to her place before?”

“Yeah, of course. Many times,” Joel says with a curious look on his face, confused about why his brother is fixated on this seemingly minor detail.

“Unbelievable,” Tommy scoffs. “You have no idea what’s happening, do you?”

Joel’s brows furrow as he shakes his head. “I don’t follow.”

“Ask her how many people have been to her place since she moved there three years ago. Spoiler, it’s two, and they both have the same last name.”

As Joel processes Tommy’s words, his mind races with silent contemplation. He reflects on the trust you must have placed in him from the beginning.

His heart aches with the weight of his own actions, realizing how they may have strained this sacred trust, threatening to fracture the very essence of your connection. He silently vows to make amends, to prove himself worthy of the faith you have bestowed upon him, no matter the cost.

After a moment of continued heavy silence, Joel’s voice breaks through the tension. It’s time to rip the bandaid off. He has to know.

“Tommy?”

“Hm?”

“Did she hurt herself on purpose?”

Tommy’s exhale seems to carry the weight of the world as he responds, “Yes.”

“Why?” Joel’s question hangs in the air, the ache of confusion and concern palpable in his voice as he searches for understanding.

“Look, Joel,” Tommy says, his tone serious as he turns to look his brother in the eye. “There’s things you don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“She has issues, man. Real issues.” Tommy takes a swig of his beer and shakes his head as he holds the bottle in his lap.

“She’s much better than when I met her, but even after all this time I can’t shake this fear that she’ll just up and leave one day when things get bad again. And when she called me…I haven’t gotten a call like that from her in a long time and it scared the absolute shit out of me,” he admits, his eyes reflecting the love he holds for you and the helplessness he feels.

“I’ve had that fear too before,” Joel murmurs, his heart heavy at the mere thought of you leaving him.

Tommy scans his brother’s face and takes a deep breath. “Do you remember how messed up I was when I came back?” he asks. “With the drinking and the self-loathing and the getting into fights and all that bullshit ‘cause I didn’t know what to do with the dark thoughts in my head?”

“Yeah. It’s a miracle you didn’t get yourself killed.”

“I know. And she’s like me in a lot of ways. It’s just…while I directed my anger and hurt towards others, she directs it towards herself.”

Joel nods slowly, his mind flooded with memories of Tommy’s past struggles and the toll it took on both of them.

He remembers all too well how emotionally devastating it was to see his brother make bad decision after bad decision, and the thought that you’re similarly troubled by whatever it is that plagues you fills him with a deep sense of sorrow and the overwhelming desire to protect you from further harm.

“What happened on Saturday?” he asks, eager to understand what’s going on with you.

“Does she ever talk about Laura or Simon, her ex?”

“Um, yeah, once. He called her a couple of weeks ago.”

“What?” Tommy’s reaction is visceral, his body tensing as he sits up in his seat, his gaze locking onto Joel with intensity.

“He wanted to meet her, but she told him off and blocked him,” Joel explains, his brow furrowed at his brother’s reaction. “I calmed her down and we had a good talk, I felt like.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Tommy murmurs to himself, his eyes not leaving Joel. A subtle pang of jealousy settles in the pit of his stomach as he digests the fact that you confided in his brother instead of him. “You know what he did?”

Joel shakes his head. “Just that he hurt her deeply, but I didn’t wanna press the issue and ask for det–”

“Look, it’s not my story to tell, but I need you to understand something right fucking now. That piece of shit is dangerous and should be rotting in jail or a fucking ditch somewhere if it were up to me. And if he ever tries to contact her again, you make sure she’s safe first and then you call me second.”

Joel’s response is a firm, “Understood,” a testament to his implicit trust in his brother’s judgment about your ex, even without knowing the specifics of the situation.

Tommy has his flaws, but when it comes to the people he loves and wants to protect, he doesn’t fuck around. And neither does Joel.

“Trauma’s a cruel thing, man,” Tommy murmurs as he opens another bottle and takes a sip, the sound of the cap popping resonating gently in the quiet of the summer evening.

“You can be 'fine' for years and then bam, you run into someone from your past and it all comes rushing back. You know you’re not that person anymore, you know you’re safe, you know it’s over…but then there’s this tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you you are still the person you used to be and that no matter what you do, you can never escape that fact.”

Tommy sighs deeply, staring into his bottle.

“And now that I’m on the other side for once…it’s fucking awful to watch someone you love self-destruct.”

“Hm,” Joel responds quietly.

Tommy studies his brother's tired face, the dark circles under his eyes, his slumped form, and forces himself to look past his own anxiety and resentment.

“I still think this whole thing is a stupid fucking idea,” he murmurs, “but if you really do love her…”

Joel meets his brother’s eyes with a hopeful expression.

“You guys ever go to the beach?”

“No.”

Tommy smiles to himself, the fact that that’s still something only the two of you share making him feel a little better.

“It’s a special place. Decent chance she’s there.”

Joel lets out a deep breath and straightens his shoulders. “Thanks, bud,” he says, his voice infused with genuine warmth as he rises from his seat. With deliberate care, he sets the beer bottle down, the clink of glass against the table echoing softly in the stillness.

Joel’s hand extends, gently patting his brother’s shoulder in a gesture of appreciation. The touch is tender yet meaningful, a silent acknowledgment of the bond they share.

Making his way through the living room, Joel thinks to himself that this conversation went better than he imagined it would go. It seems that Tommy really has matured. Incredible. Maybe Joel needs to stop underestimating his little bro–

“Hey,” he suddenly hears from behind him as he’s almost reached the front door. “When we had you over for Maria’s birthday party and I saw you both heading upstairs…”

Ah, there it is. So much for maturing.

Joel turns around and looks at his brother with a raised eyebrow and an almost imperceptible smile that speaks volumes.

Right as Tommy’s chewing his brother out for being a 'perverted motherfucker', the front door creaks open, and Maria steps inside, her expression shifting from surprise to confusion at the sight of the two brothers standing there in what seems to be a heated exchange.

Joel’s smirk widens into a sheepish grin, while Tommy’s cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment, realizing the timing couldn’t be worse for such a conversation.

Maria’s eyes dart between the two men, her brow furrowing as she takes in the scene before her, her husband’s choice of words catching her off guard.

Tommy clears his throat, struggling to find the right words to explain the situation, while Joel attempts to suppress a chuckle, knowing full well the awkwardness of the moment.

Quick to react, Joel moves forward to greet his sister-in-law with a warm kiss on the cheek and a murmured apology. “I’m sorry, gorgeous, I gotta go,” he says, his voice tinged with a hint of mischief.

After the door closes behind him, Maria turns to Tommy, her head tilted inquisitively as if to ask, “What the fuck was that about?”

Tommy opens his mouth to say something, but instead he just sighs exasperatedly and shuffles back outside, the weight of the situation still heavy on his mind and heart. He plops down in his seat again, his expression somber.

Maria puts the grocery bags into the kitchen and then joins her husband on the patio, settling into the chair Joel occupied moments before.

“How was work, honey?” Tommy asks, his voice gentle as he tries to push his thoughts into the back of his mind.

“Oh, you know, Johnson’s still giving me a headache,” Maria replies with a heavy sigh, her frustration evident in the lines creasing her brow. “That asshole should’ve been disbarred years ago.”

She closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, trying to alleviate the stress that has been pressing down on her all day.

“And raspberry is making me nauseous, so that’s fun,” she adds with a tired smile, the weariness in her voice tempered by a hint of amusement.

Tommy smiles back at his wife, a soft glow of happiness illuminating his features at the mention of their unborn child, a precious secret they’ve been keeping for a little over a week now. With a tender gesture, he scoots closer to Maria, his hand instinctively drifting to her lower belly, his touch gentle and filled with a profound sense of wonder.

“So,” Maria says after a minute, her tone teasing yet affectionate, a self-satisfied smile playing on her lips as she tilts her head slightly, “they’re together?”

Tommy takes a big swig of his third beer, the cool liquid offering a brief respite from the warmth of the evening. He nods slowly, a sense of resignation mingled with a flicker of hope in his eyes.

“Yup,” he confirms quietly.

Maria chuckles, her laughter light and melodic as she puts her feet up on the little table in front of them, her eyes closed as she soaks up the warm rays of the setting sun.

“I told you.”

♡ Thank you for reading! ♡

previous • series masterlist • Joel masterlist

tag list: @dugiioh @eviestevie-14 @ghostofzion @joeldjarin @jupiter-soups

@koshkaj-blog @mattmurdockstateofmind @missladym @paleidiot @pattwtf

@pedritoferg @runningmom94 @serenadingtigers @sofiparallel @staywildflowahchild

@the-orange-tabby-cat @tuquoquebrute @witchofthedeepwoods @yassspose @rarachelchel

let me know if you want to be added!

393 notes · View notes