#bea or beau ? who knows !

[sillystartea]

yipee ! posting ! my welcome home oc !! i feel so silly posting them anywhere else but there is them ! this is bea or beau whichever you prefer ! they are cermics type of fella ! going around and helping out whoever they can while also bumping into the most clumsy situtations ! (never put eddie & beau in a room together,, they might create fumble feista ! tumble tango ! hapless havoc ! gaffe gala ! )

anyways i hope i did justice for the artstyle ! i tried to study and replicate clown's artstyle , it was so fun !

as i'm writing this i realize they have no laces on their shoes !! oops ! and i drew this ago weeks ago ! dang it ! well ! that's fine ! just imagine they are there !

[jo-com]

can you write a story about how Alex, Charles and reader meet. Maybe she’s friends with someone in their friend group and when a,c and reader meet, a+c almost have love at first sight

🫶🏻🫶🏻

🎀 ⊹˚. ♡ ➛ Whipped

Charles Leclerc x Fem!reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux

Summary: Based off the request above!!

Genre: Throuple, Fluff

Note: Thanks for requesting and sorry if i only made it now😭 there are some grammatical errors here.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

─────── ─ ˙✧˖°📷 ⋆｡˚─ ───────

The loud clink of utensils echoed around the group that mixed well with the faint sounds of people conversing with one another.

Laughter and playful banters were exchanged from the table of friends— one of them telling a joke that caused them to smile from ear to ear.

It was one of those nights where friends gather and boost about the things that happened to them; it was like their very own ritual to catch up every once in a while, but this time it was different.

There was another addition to the group.

….

“Ah, look whose here. Come y/n take a sit,” one of the girl asked, patting the empty seat besides her.

Y/n happily took the seat and smiled thankfully at her kind gesture. You were kinda nervous, seeing that you don’t know who half the table were, but it was nice to have new friends.

So you took the time to get to know each and every one of them.

While you we’re having a conversation with one girl at the group— two pair of eyes seemed to never left yours.

As if you were the only thing that seem to caught their attention; not even caring if one of their friends are trying to start a discussion with them.

Everything about you were just too mesmerizing— your eyes, your smile, and those laughs that sounds so angelic when it comes out of that pretty mouth of yours.

“Elle est si jolie (she is so pretty)” Alex whispered under her breath, that was loud enough for only she and Charles could hear.

“Je sais, je ne peux pas non plus la quitter des yeux (i know, I can’t take my eyes of her too)” Charles responded, his tone just screams ‘boy inlove’.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re happy with just the two of them, but you just make it so hard to not fall in love with you. I mean come on just look at you! You were built to perfection. God Is this what they call love at first sight?

If it were, then damn. They sure are whipped for you.

…

➛Message (Alex and Charles)

…

“Charles and Alex, you guys have been awfully quite for a while now” Bea exclaimed aloud, earning all the group’s attention to focus on them.

Including yours.

You flickered your eyes and glanced over at them. You’ve noticed their presence for a while now and just like the others you were star struck with their appearance. They were the epitome of luxury and elegance— they give of an aura that just seems so hard to approach them;

“Ah, sorry. Something just came up” charles spoke, his tone laced with sincerity.

As he said those word, his eyes met yours. It felt like he was directly saying it to you. But that’s just silly, imagine the Charles Leclerc saying those to you. Pfft hilarious.

“Oui, quelque chose de beau vient d'attirer notre attention (yes,something beautiful just caught our eye)” Alex spoke, her thick accent dripped with gracefulness.

Just like Charles, her words seems directed towards you. Her eyes latched onto yours— captivating the essence of your beauty.

You looked around, checking if she was looking at anyone else. To your surprise, there were no people at your back. You glanced back but she was no longer staring at you.

Hmm must be a coincidence.

…

Throughout the night, their eyes stared daggers at your direction— watching you like a hawk.

You could feel the burning gazes that came from them but just shrugged it off as a ‘must be someone at my back’ feeling.

…

“This was so much fun guys, i hope we could do this again soon”. One of your friends spat, smiling genuinely at all of you.

The night has finally come to an end; even though you felt all eyes on you every time, you still had fun.

All of your friends gathered their stuff and one by one began to leave the place. Saying all their goodbyes before finally taking off. Just as you were about too, two figure stood in your way.

You furrowed your eyebrows, confusingly. What’s going on?

“Uhm can i help you guys?” You asked, looking at them with pure curiosity.

Alex opened her mouth but then closed it again, she gently nudged Charles shoulder implying for him to speak up.

What the hell was going on, they look like high schoolers whose ready to confess.

Charles rolled his eyes and sighed,“Well, this is kinda awkward but me and my girlfriend were kinda hoping to get your number.”

Oh. So it was a confession kinda thing?

Your eyes widened from the sudden question, “but if you don’t want to it’s fine” Alex chimed in, her face turning red from the tense atmosphere.

You let out a giggle, seeing how their acting like teenagers inlove was just so adorable to you. So why not invest your time in these two cutesy couple.

“Here” you said, getting out your phone and showing them your number to which they wrote down.

…

After that day you guys continued messaging each other back and forth— creating a strong bond between the couple.

And eventually you guys were officially a couple, all three of you.

You were glad you came to that gathering.

…

Sorry for not updating in a while, hope you guys like this tough!!

[utilitycaster]

People being.... weird about the cast aside, what was YOUR feelings on Laudna's Delilah arc resolution and how it shook out? Do you wish they spent longer on her feelings and all it meant? Do you like the resolving of Imogen and Laudna's conflict, and does them getting back together feel narratively weighty and earned (just bc them being largely Just There was a big sticking point at the start of their relationship, for you and a fair few ppl including myself)?

Also thoughts on Braius, since I've idly seen him catching strays for "taking the focus from Laudna," which is like okay sure I guess. Valid to want more Laudna exploration, but I also think the table's excitement at having Sam back is hard to extricate from the conversation, and like you said this implies something about how those ppl view Marisha's choices, given that Laudna/Marisha was very very excited to get that pipe of memory going

I'm completely neutral and unchanged in my position. I gave up on any expectations of Laudna delivering in any interesting narrative way over 30 episodes ago and said "she's fine, she has her moments, I don't dislike her, but there's not enough for me to be invested in." Like, I'd feel differently about a very low key resolution if this had been something Laudna had openly talked about and explored extensively before like, episode 77, much as I'd feel differently about her and Imogen's relationship if that had similarly had any such tension prior to episode 80 or they'd been fighting for more than 24 hours but as is it's like oh ok a return to the status quo; the ritual was fun to watch. It is what it is.

I think everyone who talks about one cast member taking the focus from another who is not talking about the player who was asked to leave after 27 episodes of Campaign 1 should have a curse placed upon them such that they miss every train and plane they ever intend to take for the remainder of their life. With regards to this specific case, yeah I think the table is excited to get to know a new character, and the pipe specifically was chosen by a random die roll that happened to land on Sam, but more importantly if Marisha wanted to play out a more extensive scene with Laudna then she should have taken the opportunity to do so. I've never seen her have any issue taking that kind of opportunity as Keyleth, Beau, Patia, Bea, Bunny, Vesta, or countless one-shot characters she's played, so I really just think this was how she wanted to play it!

[henryspearl]

WIP Wednesdays - 27/03/24

hey👋🏻 i’m very new to wip wednesdays.i need to sort out creating a border y’know what they say -it’s the taking part that counts😉 thank you to @sunnysideprince and @taste-thewaste for the tags!

here’s a snippet from my bridgerton au that i am currently working on for @aroyallybigbangrwrb . personally i think this snippet is very fitting considering it’s ACD’s birthday today and we all know he loves to dance👀

“May one say that Sir Claremont-Diaz is such a beau,” Bea gushes, as the music comes to a fortunate end, and people start to filter off the floor.

Henry and Pez follow Bea’s eye-line to find Alex in the middle of the dance floor, pulling away from Maria Newton and then curtsying to each other, which is standard procedure after finishing a dance. A pink blush is sprinkling Alex’s cheeks and his dark curls have managed to surprisingly stay firmly in place. They watch as he smiles at Maria and moves off of the floor.

“I am sure you are not the only one who may say the same thing,” Pez says, throwing a look towards Henry with a mischievous glint in his eye, which is met with Henry looking at him, gritting his teeth under his closed mouth and his eyes dilating in horror, silently warning him to shut it.

“Was that not Miss Newton he was dancing with? Baron Newton’s daughter?”

Henry turns back to Bea and clears his throat as they reach the drinks bar, “I would not be able to tell you, sister. I failed to notice.”

To tell the truth, all Henry notices is how Alex’s trousers embraced his thighs and the material stretched around them.

He’ll rip them if he’s not careful. Henry snipes as he is handed a whiskey and immediately takes a long sip, like air being filled into his lungs.

tagging: @callumsmitchells @youcancallmekathyp @jmagnabo92 @fullsunsets @onetwistedmiracle @leojfitz

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

New OCs

four fandoms, four ocs!

Beau The Fairy – Descendants

Tinkerbell's son, school sweetheart, best on the tourney team (until Jay) which always surprises people because he comes across so soft (ship tbd – main options rn are Jane, Jane & Harry, Hero, Niamh & Harry, Addie, or Dorrie)

Billie Sylvester in Good Luck Babe (x Santana Lopez) – Glee

Sue Sylvester's daughter, does not know who her father is (it's Will Schuester, she sure will find out), golden girl cheerio princess to wild child skank queen, repressed lesbian icon technically named after Willy Wonka in honour of her Aunt Jean (to pair with Robin being named after Jean's actress, Robin Trocki)

Genevieve Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor – RWRB

full name Genevieve Eleanor Grace Eugenie Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor very very socially anxious, undiagnosed autistic princess who loves the piano and goes non verbal in a lot of social situations younger than Bea, older than Henry, considered a picture perfect princess but actually it's because she's gone nonverbal and is just shutting down, smiling, and digging her nails into her hands until she bleeds. closest with harry, had a crush on Alex but represses it for Harry’s sake

Jade Song* – Gilmore Girls

Hope's (Emily's sister's) granddaughter, lives in England with her parents. She's her father's princess but he has high expectations, and her mother demands constant perfection. Heart of gold and a very good student but also a total problem child. Running out of ideas of what to do with her, Jade's parents send her to spend a year with her great aunt and uncle, Richard and Emily Gilmore. Unfortunately it was too last minute of a decision and the only available spot left at Chilton had been given to Rory Gilmore, leading to Jade being enrolled at Stars Hollow High instead *created with @the-witching-ash and her oc Bennett Song to become crossover twins, which is why they have the same backstory

Bonus: also introduced James Danes & Sebastian Locke (both gilmore girls ocs)

[eldritchmochi]

OKAY SO I JUST FINISHED REREADING COPING SKILLS AND I'M BACK TO HOUND YOU WITH QUASTSHUNS <3

When did Essek get into the Rosohnan kink community? Before/after his hEDS showed up? (basically I guess I'm wondering if he was into kink before dealing with hEDS or if, like many disabled kinksters in my experience anyways, he got into it as a way to have some control over pain in a pleasurable way)

Who exactly would Essek have mentored under????

How did Testament clock Bren as a kinkster, let alone introduce him to it?

Is Frumpkin an ordinary cat in this fic or a familiar?

How did Beau and Yasha meet??? What brought them to Xhorhas?

How did Essek meet his Guides?

LISTEN it's really hard for me to not ask about stuff that seems like it's gonna get answered over the course of the fic because I wanna be patient, dammit! Just please know that for every question I am pestering you with (affectionate) I have like, at least three more I'm holding back lol.

Anyways I hope you're healing up well! :3

holy shit you were not kidding about SO MANY QUESTIONS lmao (i am healing well thank u i got halfway thru typing this up and then went to the hospital so uh....)

When did Essek get into the Rosohnan kink community? Before/after his hEDS showed up?

his interest in kink came first when he was younger, thru the elf equivalent of his teens as he tried to figure out sex acts that interested him beyond the abstract of touch-dick-feel-good, then the inkling of hmmm maybe there's something physically wrong with me as he got a little older and it stopped being excusable that he was a bit of a klutz, but he became active in the scene as an adult around the same time he was getting official diagnoses in his late 90s, early 100s

Who exactly would Essek have mentored under????

good question! honestly, he probably hasn't (hadn't??) with the exception of/until zehra because before his guides he hadn't really spent too long in relationships, kink or otherwise. he attended plenty of workshops when he was starting out and has done scenes with several others in the community like, casually, but he is probably not as experienced as readers (or caleb) would assume

How did Testament clock Bren as a kinkster, let alone introduce him to it?

it was the other way around actually! kink is not precisely taboo in rosohna, not the same way it is irl or even in the empire; it's generally expected that most folks, particularly those in noble circles ESPECIALLY if they're a longer lived race, have dabbled at least a little. rather, its hush-hush to like, allow those same nobles the freedom to operate outside the expectations of their circles. like there can be repercussions, but its mostly just private business is private. caleb, however, is very observant and there was like, a kink equivalent of the "i like your shoelaces" deal, which absolutely delighted testament

Is Frumpkin an ordinary cat in this fic or a familiar?

he is a familiar! i've fudged some things from cannon/dnd raw because fuck you its fanfic i can do what i want, but frumpkin is still a familiar, still a fae creature, still telepathically linked to caleb, and still able to be summoned and banished as needed. its absolutely impossible to show given how 99% of the fic is from essek's pov, but caleb very politely bribes frumpkin with mlem sticks to please leave him and his guest alone until such and such time when his guest will leave so caleb can fuck in peace (per yasha's suggestion given that cats are not common in rosohna, so it follows that essek has not much interacted with them (he has not) and may be uncomfortable with the staring (he would be))

(further fun frumpkin fact, caleb had to get a special permit to have his familiar's default form be "cat" because they are a non-native species lmao)

How did Beau and Yasha meet??? What brought them to Xhorhas?

they met through caleb and molly respectively; after molly's "death", yasha had a hard time staying in rexxentrum without feeling overwhelmed, so when beau got the opportunity to be part of the souls efforts to set up a library in rosohna, they got shotgun married and went somewhere new

How did Essek meet his Guides?

the tl;dr of it is basically lapin walked up at some event and was basically like my wife girlfriend and i saw you across the bar and we really like your vibe lmao. essek was mildly put off because he only likes men and zehra was basically like well thats fine because im a lesbian and you're obviously not a woman but that doesn't mean things cant be interesting, queue lapin being like yeah you dont have to fuck to have fun!! and essek was so baffled he agreed to get to know them and then somehow it was two years later and he was in their wedding party with friendship nipple piercings

absolutely feel free to ask questions even if you think they'll be answered in fic!! i don't mind fielding them because like, tbh, i am not THAT good of a writer so its entirely possible i wont think to really explain xyz thing because its obvious to me (there have definitely been SEVERAL things ive had to last minute edit into following chapters to explain a thing previously because people commented like wait what is this??? because i just... knew what it was so obviously everyone else would lmao). worse case scenario i'll pull a neil and go wait and see

but thank u for so many questions it was very fun!!

[dinkflocculent]

Old Prey: Chapter Ten - Hazard

Duko

♧ 23 : 00 ♧

The sound of the strong wind hitting my roof has finally gone down, I can only hear the soft sound of the wind. The house makes no sound; my dad is asleep. It’s time to make my move.

I jump out of bed, go to my closet, and grab an empty backpack. How do I pack for something like this? Normally Dad would have an idea, but he’d tear me to shreds if he found out what I was doing.

Food is the most important thing—water bottles and a few bags of snacks. In the corner, I see a pocket knife. Something my dad gave me when I was starting high school. I never used it, maybe it has a use for me now. Maybe I could use it to protect Beau in some way… or myself. Just in case.

I put on the thickest clothes I had, open my window slowly to not make a sound, and jump out of it. I look around, not a beast in sight. Perfect.

I begin to run through the snow, looking at the directions I scribbled on a piece of tissue paper. I should be at Klimarock in no time. But something loses my train of thought.

“Each new idea seems genius, but it’s more idiotic and dangerous than the last.”

I look back at my house, where my father is sleeping, not knowing that his son is going to be gone for a few days. Should I really do this? I don’t know what I’m going to face, or how I could escape dangerous situations.

But I have to try. I have to do it for Beau.

***

Beau

I wake up, my vision blurry and my throat still dry. The headache must be causing it, but I can’t remember what happened. I was in bed, closed my eyes for a split second, and it felt like I’d slept for a century. I must have passed out from the heat.

For some reason, my room feels… cozy. I don’t want to move. The sound of the soft crackle of the blazing fireplace soothed my ears. The thick, large blanket covering my body as I lay on the couch felt like sleeping on a cloud. A wet towel laid on my forehead, cooling the smoldering heat on my head.

I closed my eyes, hoping to go back to sleep and dream of a comforting world.

Wait.

Leo doesn’t have a fireplace.

I shoot up, letting out a soft whimper when I notice how aching my limbs feel. Like thousands of needles stabbing at my body.

“Hey, hey, shh…” Leo rushes to my side, softly grabbing me a slowly lowering me back down. “Don’t move, you need to rest.”

“Where are we?! This isn’t your house!”

“Don’t you remember? We are in the cabin we’ve dreamed of forever.”

I look at him with complete horror on my face.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he smiles, cupping a paw to my cheek. “We’re away from the cruel world, away from the monsters that want to take you away. No one can brainwash you into your fake life ever again.”

Panic tugs at my chest, my eyes struggling to focus as I take in the information. I am in a random cabin in the woods, with no knowledge of the environment. How am I supposed to escape now?

I’ll never get out of here.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want this? We’ve been dreaming about such a life ever since we first met…”

“No!” I yell, not being able to comprehend this nightmare. “Why would I want this?! I…”

I don’t want this, I never wanted this. But every time I protest, I remember those horrifying words.

“I need to get rid of you, I need to get rid of you. Every trace of you.”

If I say anything that leads to him snapping out of his delusion, he’s going to get rid of me. I’ll never be seen again.

“…You don’t want this? Why? Oh, Soleda, what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do a thing wrong,” I give him a big smile. “I’m just so overwhelmed by how happy I am.”

***

Duko

I’m on a whole other planet.

Everything flashed in my face. Signs for booze, gambling, and beasts who are desperate for a mate.

Not many beasts are outside, just the occasional bum sleeping on the sidewalk. This is so much different from Sycamore Woods. Loud music blasting inside establishments, broken bottles of beer scattered on the road… my nose hurts from all the new smells.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. Or find which beast would help me. I guess I should do what I always do to find something—use my nose.

And I smell many scents of herbivores, and… blood?

I look down and see a homeless goat. He didn’t have any horns, just a bandage around his head. He was covered by a dirty, ripped-up blanket. I regret not bringing more money because I could give this guy something to help him…

“You look wealthy; not used to seeing a beast without somewhere to stay?” he said with a hoarse voice; I didn’t realize I was staring at him with a tilted head.

“Not where I live… I’m sorry, I wish I had some money or food I could give away.”

“I’ll tell you what,” he moves the blanket to reveal the matted fur of one of his legs. “Maybe I can ask for a deal. How about $100 for my leg? Cheaper than other offers in the market, I assure you.”

I widen my eyes, realizing I am right next to the black market.

I’ve heard stories about the black market, where most meat is from dead beasts that died from natural causes or murder. Some raise cubs from birth for slaughter. My father said to never go to such a place. Because even if you’re just going for a visit, you’re always going to leave with something to eat.

Yet the smell of blood and meat, such a new and nice scent—it made me drool. And it’s difficult not to give in.

“Hello?”

“I… I can’t… I’m sorry, I don’t have the money. And… I don’t want any.”

“Sure, you don’t,” he eyes me as I wipe my mouth.

“Yeah, I don’t…” knowing how this town is, now I need to get what I came for. “Do you… know who could help find a beast I’m looking for..?”

He points behind me, a bar with music blazing out of it and bright lights shining into my eyes—it was called The Weak Lion.

[kathyprior4200]

Helluva Boss S2 E8: "Angels and Agents"

C.H.E.R.U.B. Last Time…

Cletus glared one last time at the imps. “This isn’t over!”

The cherubs summoned a colorful portal to Heaven and flew through it…but then were suddenly repelled back.

“What the?!” Cletus asked.

Five more cherubs came through the portal. Rachel, a white sheep, Beau, a gray sheep with a bow, Honey, a bee, and Bea, another bee. The four hovered with their hands in prayer. The last cherub, the leader, was a brown deer dressed in purple overalls, a lavender shirt, and a pink ribbon. Deerie conjured up reading glasses and a clipboard.

She spoke to the cherubs in a condescending manner. “Mmm, yeah, no sorry, Cletus, but I’m afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I’m afraid you can’t re-enter Heaven. Yeah, no…”

“What?!” cried the three C.H.E.R.U.B. members in disbelief. 

Deerie chuckled. “Yeah, mm, sorry. Yeah, no…”

“Is there anything we can do?” Collin asked with a whimper. Deerie filed her hoof before chuckling again. “Yeah, no! Oh no, no, no.” She then said “no” to Collin, Cletus and Keenie as she pointed her front hooves at them. All of them had tears in their eyes.

“Uh! But we didn’t mean to!” Keenie pleaded. “We never! It was all…”

She pointed down to the scaffolding where I.M.P. was, but they had already left for Hell. Keenie screamed in horror and her companions gasped, eyes wide.

Deerie just smiled, “Anyway, sorry guys. But those are the rules, yeah!”

She did a happy wave and a “Bye!” as she and her group of cherubs flew back up through the portal.

“Wait! But…” Cletus flew up toward the portal but it had already closed. Cletus sniffled, then cried a river of tears from his eyes. The other cherubs also broke down into sobs.

Cletus, Keenie and Collin broke down in heavy tears as they surveyed the area around them. The audience lay slumped and dead in their seats after being shot with arrows and bullets. Metal scaffolding lay bent and wrecked on the wooden stage where Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie were moments before. The former opera singer now lay dead and crushed underneath a stage light that had fallen on top of her. And underneath a broken piano lay the dead crushed body of Lyle Lipton, the elderly inventor they had tried to save.

The scene was eerie and empty. The nervous well-dressed piano guy had promptly fled the scene, traumatized after the events. And those accursed imps had jumped through a portal back to Hell in triumph.

As Cletus cried some more, fountains of tears sprung from his eyes. Keenie and Collin rushed in to comfort him. The trio had never felt so vulnerable before.

“I…I can’t believe this!” Cletus wailed. “We were so close to helping out that man…even though he was shitty and old…”

“Language,” chided Keenie.

Cletus continued. “We did everything right, but now we can’t get back through.”

“It’s not…completely your fault,” Collin said, putting a hoof on his leader’s back in comfort. “It was all an accident.”

Cletus raised an eyebrow at his comrade. “What do you mean ‘not completely?’”

“Well…” Collin began.

“You’re right, it was those imps’ doing!” Keenie interrupted, her white lacy wings flapping in frustration. “If only Deerie had seen what they were doing to us.”

The three took some deep breaths and sobs as they slowly calmed down. With a wave of his hand, their fancy dresses and tuxedos clothes were replaced by their regular outfits: reddish overalls for Cletus, a light blue shirt and white bow tie for Collin and a yellow dress for Keenie.

“What do we do now?” Collin asked, almost in a whisper.

“First thing’s first,” said Cletus. “We find a safe place to stay for a while. Who knows how long we’ll have to stay on Earth?” The others nodded in agreement.

“Urgh,” Keenie scowled. “First those filthy demonic trash decide to mock us and now we have to live among these…messy mortals?”

“Oh, come on,” Collin gave a small smile as the three left the theater. They looked again sadly at the deceased humans and made crosses with their hands before flying away through an open window.

0 0 0

Several months later…

In a park on Earth, a woman in a hooded brown dress stopped to look at a pretty pink flower on a bush. Next to her was a light pink baby stroller. The stroller then rolled down the gray path on its own, the woman waving her arm, then glancing up. The stroller zoomed faster and faster down the paths.

The woman stood up. “My baby! Someone save my baby!”

Two frisbee players ducked as the stroller flew down the path between them. The stroller scattered a daddy and mommy duck, who quaked and flapped their wings. The stroller flew up a hill and barely avoided the snapping mouths of two alligators and a shark in a lake. The stroller continued its race down the street, hitting a red car who skidded to a stop and a blue car slowing nearby.

Two men wearing blue shirts, dark pants and caps were carefully carrying a rectangular pane of glass into a nearby truck that read “Pane In the Glass.”

“Sure hope this glass doesn’t break,” one of them said casually.

The stroller then shattered the glass, sending shards into both men. One man fell to the ground. “It broke!” the standing man yelled in surprise and agony as both men bled from the glass shards in their bodies.

The stroller gained speed and rolled dangerously toward a looming power plant. Noxious dark green smoke fumed into the air, while lime green slime steamed and bubbled in a round tank with a hazard symbol on it. A dark-skinned man with a cigarette in his mouth was wearing a red shirt and a baseball cap. He pushed a ramp that was labeled “INCONVINENT RAMP” with THE “IN” crossed out in pink. A red robin flew up toward the steaming vat of acid, and instantly turned into a dead skeleton from the fumes.

Nearby stores read “West St Bank,” “ICE CREAM,” “Cassettes R US – Closing Down Always.” There was a “Meat and Deli” “Beaukay’s Flowers and Gifts” and a poster with an orca whale and a cruise ship that read, “Coming This Summer, We Said Eat The Rich, THEY AGREED. BILLIONAIRES BEWARE: An Orca Documentary.”

Another dark-skinned man wearing glasses, dark pants, and a green sweater was casually strolling down the street, accidentally dropping his white ice cream from his cone. He scooped up the ice cream on the ground, and turned in shock as the stroller zoomed toward him…

And bonked into him as it came to a stop. There was a moon and star hanging inside the stroller, the baby under a blanket. He stood up with a hand on the stroller and smiled. Near a red car that had “MILF” license plate, the robed woman raced up to him as the baby cried.

“Oh, thank you, thank you! How could I ever repay you?” She embraced him as the man licked his dirty ice cream.

“No need, ma’am, I was just in the right place at the right time,” smiled the man.

A white arm from inside the stroller reached out and snatched the man’s brown wallet from his pants pocket. The woman let go. The man happily licked his ice cream and strolled away.

The woman glanced around and wheeled the stroller into a nearby alleyway. With a kick, a gasping Collin flew out and took several deep gasps.

“Did you have to hug him so hard? I’m at underwear level, you know, and that guy clearly hadn’t showered today!”

Keenie ripped off her dress disguise.

“Oh, stop complaining. I had to sell it, didn’t I?” She glanced over. “How’d we do, Cletus?”

The C.H.E.R.U.B. leader popped out from under the blanket, holding the stolen wallet. He counted the money and frowned.

“Not great. Let’s set up for another run!” He disappeared back under the covers.

Collin nervously looked around, looking guilty and unsure. “I don’t know, Cletus. Doesn’t this all seem a little…” he whispered, “…sinful?”

Cletus popped up. “We’ve been over this! We are still helpin’ people! We just provided that man with an opportunity to be selfless and heroic.”

“After that performance, he’s sure to get into Heaven!” Keenie exclaimed. “We just saved a soul!”

“Is…that how it works?” Collin asked.

“Don’t you think eternal salvation is worth 20 bucks and a Queesno sponge card?” Cletus asked.

Cletus and Keenie gave Collin wide sparkly puppy dog eyes as angelic music played. Collin sighed.

“I guess…it’s just…” Collin stuttered.

Cletus bawled like a baby. Keenie put her hands on her hips in the air. “You wanna eat, don’t you? You wanna live long enough to save more souls and earn our way back to Heaven?”

“Of course! I just…”

Cletus glared and slapped Collin. “Well then quiet your incessant winching and get back under that coat! We have to…”

A dark security camera moved ominously above them in a corner, watching.

As Cletus berated a flinching Collin, a white dart struck Cletus in the back. “Woah! Uhhh…” He wobbled and groaned until he collapsed, head lowered. Keenie and Collin gasped in horror before, they, too, were shocked and stunned from behind. They screamed before they fell to the ground, charred from the stun guns. They were picked up and taken away…by none other than the demon-hunting Agents of D.H.O.R.K.S.

The three Cherubs soon woke up inside the Agent’s headquarters, each of them tied up in chairs in the interrogation room. They all flinched as the light blinded them.

“Where are we?!” Cletus asked, frightened.

A white man with brown hair wearing dark sunglasses and a suit appeared…Agent One. He shined a lamp into Cletus’ face and seethed.

“We ask the questions here, hellspawn.”

Cletus did wide puppy-dog eyes and an innocent look. “But I’m just a little baby! Why would you…”

Cletus then got his face bashed into the table by Agent Two with a fist. She was an African American woman with blonde short hair and dark sunglasses, wearing an identical suit. She grabbed his head roughly, peering close to his face.

“Drop the bullshit!”

She smacked Cletus’ head into the table again.

“We know you’re working for that demon filth!”

Agent One slammed his hand on the desk, threateningly, shining the lamp. “Where’s your boss?”

“What boss?” Keenie asked.

“This guy!”

On a white D.H.O.R.K.S. paper he slammed down on the table, there was a doodle of a grinning Blitzo carrying a cannon weapon. On the side of the paper was the D.H.O.R.K.S. email: dhorksrulez@classified.govbutsecret. 1-555-DHORKS.

“You know that…peanut head?” asked Collin.

Agent Two stood up and pondered.

“So that’s his name…”

“Are you sure?” asked Agent One. “Odd name for a demon.”

Cletus grinned, eye swollen, some teeth missing, and lifted up his head.

“You know, I think maybe we can help each other out here…”

“Silence!” Agent Two smacked Cletus in the back of his head. “We do the talking here!”

“Unless you wanna join your demon brethren in our containment cells!” Agent One added.

“No way, we’re angels!” Keenie exclaimed.

“Oh really?” Agent Two wondered, peering closely at the cherubs’ wings and halos. “How do we know you aren’t shapeshifters?”

The cherubs went silent.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure they are angels, Two,” Agent One remarked.

“Oh.”

The cherubs glanced at each other in the brief awkward moment.

Agent One took back the paper. “The question is, why would a bunch of angels be looking for demons?”

A lone spotlight shone on Collin. “We just want to get back into…”

“We are Exorcists!” Cletus interrupted. He knew the agents would help them if they shared the same lust for vengeance. “The flaming swords of the Heavens here to strike them down with fiery vengeance!”

Keenie grinned evilly as she shared a look with Cletus. “Yeah, yeah! We lay in wait for them to return to Earth, so we can smite them once and for all!”

“What are you guys talking about…OWW!”

Cletus kicked Collin from under the table. Keenie and Cletus both glared at him.

“So, are you saying you guys are like these guys?” Agent One asked. He showed a drawing of an Exorcist angel, complete with a blessed spear, horns, and wings.

“Yes, just like that!” Cletus claimed. “Only…we left our uniforms behind…and we lost our spears, too. We tried to go to Hell, but the portal sent us to Earth.”

Keenie added, “We go down to Hell every year to kill Sinners…oh how we enjoy the spill of their filthy blood!”

Collin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His own colleagues were making up stories and bragging about killing former humans.

Agents One and Two pondered. “Well, although you don’t look like the Exorcists, you have the same enemy we do,” said Agent One. “I’m all for it.”

Agent Two nodded. “And don’t worry about your uniforms…we’ll make you brand new battle suits, capable of enduring any…hellish climates.”

Hellish climates?

Collin stuttered. “B-but I thought we were going back to…”

“Shut it, Collin!” Keenie whispered under her breath. “Killing those demons in Hell is our ticket to salvation!”

“A-are you sure is not just for revenge?”

“Vengeance is good! Right, Collin?” Cletus glared with a forced grin.

“Y-Yeah, I guess…”

Agent Two stood up and put a hand on Cletus’ shoulder. “Maybe you don’t have to wait.”

Agent One grinned, adjusting his sunglasses. “Come with us.”

To the cherubs’ amazement, they soon found themselves being untied and led around the secret facility. The two agents stood in an elevator with the cherubs in the middle. The doors opened and the agents strolled forward.

The cherubs flew forward, eyes wide in amazement. “Whoa!”

Agent Two operated the controls on a moving white platform. Agent One posed with his arms in the air. They were in a vast high-ceiling space with metal walls, dark pipes, and eerie green lighting in every corner. To the left, were a row of sleek white jets hanging from a metal beam.

Agent Two pulled a round lever back and the platform the cherubs hovered on began to move. White, fluorescent lights buzzed and hummed above them. Keenie peered over the black railing and couldn’t believe what she saw. Marching like stormtroopers below were an army of cloned male priests. They had white skin, short gray hair, and wore tall pope hats of white and gold. Their robes were white with gold trim. The gold trim looked like crosses near their chests. Each priest held dark rifles with gold plated ends, handles and gold Christian crosses on top of the guns.

Agent One turned to the cherubs. “Since the demons’ assault on our Compound X, we have successfully sent our videos of the demon attacks to the government as evidence. As a result, our government has quadrupled our funding and allowed us unfettered access to the most bleeding-edge military advancements.”

Agent Two grinned at the surroundings. “Demonic containment cells, hellfire suppression suits, camouflage exoskeletons, and a battalion of highly trained combat priests!”

Off to the side, were three glass tubes full of glowing green light and liquid. Inside were floating clones of the priests. The first was a naked baby holding a cross with a large, pointed head with bulging veins. The second tube held a floating priest with the gold and white robes looking like a child, holding a cross. The third held a full-grown adult priest. By the tubes, two scientists in white coats took notes on their clipboards. One was an African American woman, and the other was a bald white man with round glasses. A nearby green monitor showed brain waves and a green x-ray skeleton of a priest, with a Christian cross in the center of the chest.

“So…do you have enough priests for a full army?” Cletus asked.

“Of course,” said Agent One.

“I mean…are their weapons blessed and powerful? The demons and rulers in Hell are pretty powerful.”

“Don’t worry,” said Agent Two. “These guys will outnumber those demons for sure. Not even the demon royals will see them coming!”

‘I hope Heaven doesn’t find out about this,’ Collin thought. ‘Heaven would be furious at us letting humans go to war with demons. We may be angels, but the Exorcists are the real professionals. At this rate, we’ll only cause more war…and never return home.’

Collin looked to the left and flinched. Shadows of octopus beings, horned demons, and other monsters scratched, roared, and screeched in protest from behind the green-tinted windows of their cells. A nearby sign with an upside-down top hat crossed out read, “No Magicians Permitted.”

The platform maneuvered through a round arch with green lights on the sides, until it came to a stop.

“All so we could finally utilize…this!” Agent Two began.

They ended up in a large room with tall tubes of green liquid on either side of the room. A round metal circle was held in place by four pipes above and beams on either side.

“What is it?!” Cletus asked.

Agent Two showed a victory fist and walked over to a control panel. “Our ticket…to the other side!”

With her right hand, she pushed a round green button. The circles on the large metal circle lit up white, going up until all were lit. The machine hummed and whirred. Agent Two typed on the controls.

Agent One grinned. “This is an extra-dimensional portal generator. This bad boy will allow us to open a door straight into Hell, where we plan on eliminating the demonic threat before they can tarnish this great country!”

The thick tubes on either side filled up with the liquid to the top. A metal clawed device moved out from a slot inside the portal rim. Four more devices appeared from inside. An orange laser beam fired from the first one on the upper left, the lasers bouncing around until they made the shape of an upside-down pentagram. The pentagram spun at rapid speed, until a monstrous portal appeared. Roars echoed from inside and electricity sparked throughout the room. Yellow flames surrounded the red and black swirling maw. The room glowed with ominous red, orange, and yellow light, the liquid in the tubes appearing like lava.

All the cherubs flinched.

Agent One grinned and then paused. “Uh…well once we work out all the kinks, yeah?”

“Kinks?” Keenie asked.

The portal collapsed into teal blue fire until it shrunk into a small hole with a rim of blue flames.

Agent Two turned to the cherubs. “So far, we’ve only been able to open the portal about two feet in diameter. Hardly big enough to fit a child through.”

Agent One turned around. “And we can’t very well send children…after last time.”

Agent One remembered posing as five children wore soldier uniforms and carried guns with lines of bullets on their backs.

“Forward!” they called as they jumped one by one into the portal. Screams were shortly heard as an eldritch monster with black and pink stripes and pink eyes roared. The tenacles burst through the portal, leaving behind a stunned Agent One covered in red blood, organs, and the remains of the eaten children.

Agent One sobbed and did a soldier salute. “Those goddamn American heroes.”

Agent Two stood up and paced with her hands behind her back. “Honestly, we’re not even sure that was Hell we sent them to. Point is, we could use someone…or some ones with more experience.” She grinned while looking at the cherubs.  She wrapped an arm around them. “How about it, little guys?”

Agent One held his hands in fists and grinned.

“Wanna help us hunt some demon scum?” the two Agents asked at the same time.

The cherubs looked at each other, their faces scrunched together. Keenie and Cletus looked at each other, then they both glanced down at Collin. Collin kept a face of sheer concern, but Cletus and Keenie roared “FUCK YEAH! HAHA!”

Agent One later typed on a computer where a blueprint of a “Demon Exoskeleton 001” appeared. Various parts were labeled: “Infrared Vision”, “Explosive Ordnance,” Adaptive Camouflage,” “Power Core: Kerosene 666,” “Reinforced Titanium,” “Back-up Battery,” “Ballistic Countermeasures,” “Hella-Dynamic Design.”

After several hours of crafting, the cherubs were called to the side by the Agents. Soon there were four suits in tall glass capsules ready for use. The capsules opened up to reveal the powered mecha suits.

Robotic arms attached the helmet, arms, legs and robotic parts to fit each of the cherubs.

Cletus’ suit was modeled after Blitzo. The suit was a pinkish red with curved pink metal imp-like horns, xs on the wrists like Blitzo had, a purple visor and even a symbol in the chest that matched Blitzo’s necklace symbol. Cletus smiled from inside the suit and did a pose. From his fists, he fired flaming missiles that exploded into a cardboard cutout of Blitzo. A nearby scientist lady with glasses and blonde hair ducked out of the way.

Collin’s suit was modeled after Moxxie. He stepped out of the capsule and looked at one of his weapon arms with uncertainty. His suit was lavender and purple colored, with a purple bow-tie design in the center. The white metal short horns resembled Moxxie’s horns.

Keenie, meanwhile was loving her yellow and gold suit modeled after the fierce fighter Millie. She had a long metallic pointed tail, a spiky dark orange visor, an orange “x” in the center of her chest, slender legs, and smaller metal horns that looked like Millie’s. She did a majestic flip through the air and landed in a fighter pose, her metallic claws scrapping the floor. She then launched herself into the air using a rocket attached to her back and wings on the side. She did ariel flips in the air, purple flames trailing behind her, before landing in a pose again, fist down. The cherubs, now armed with their mechasuits, strode proudly toward the portal, ready to eliminate I.M.P. and get their revenge (save for Collin).

Running alongside C.H.E.R.U.B. was Agent One in a Loona fursuit. He put the headpiece on over his face. Agent Two held a hand to stop Agent One. She smiled and handed Cletus a red Pokedex Pokemon Gameboy-styled device for communication. Agent One slouched off in his costume.

The cherubs reached the portal ready to enter…

Only to realize that they would be too small to fit. Cletus froze with his eyes wide.

The cherubs then spent the next several minutes removing their suits and dragging the heavy metal pieces through the portal. Collin heaved as he pulled his helmet through the portal before the portal closed. They were up on a roof in the Lust Ring. Cletus strode forward on a roof, holding the beeping red device.

“Two, this is Red Baby,” spoke Cletus into the device, using a codename. “Blue Lamb and Yellow Sheep are here. We have arrived into Hell. Through it doesn’t appear to be as fiery as I imagined.”

“What do you see?” asked Agent Two.

“A very strange city, over.”

The device beeped as Cletus looked at the city. The sky was dark blue, always night. There were neon signs of hearts, breasts, sexy legs, lips, x’s and arrows.

After the cherubs put on their suits, Cletus called out, “Let’s go. Don’t attract any attention, you know how dangerous these freaks can be.”

The cherubs flew silently through the rainy sky until they came to a roof. The beeping sounded faster as they moved closer to their main target: Blitzo. Sure enough, there he was, in a candle shop talking to a demon shop keeper with a candle on his head, long horns and many arms.  

Collin let out a gasp as Keenie threw him roughly onto the roof.

Cletus glanced at the device, the arrow on the screen close to Blitzo’s icon.

“Ooooh, there he is!” Collin said. Collin and Keenie peered through the dome to get a closer look.

“Let’s take him!” Keenie growled.

Cletus pulled his colleagues back with his metal hands. “Hold on! Where’s the rest of them? He wasn’t alone before. I say we follow him for a bit, make sure he’s by himself.”

Keenie stood with her hands on her hips, metal pointed tail moving. “Cletus, if we don’t do this, we are never getting back into Heaven!”

“Which is why we have to make sure this goes smoothly!” Cletus replied, making himself taller. “We have only one shot. It has to be perfect.”

Cletus leaned over the side and spotted Blitzo walking down the sidewalk in the rain. Various neon signs flashed, “It’s Just Boobs,” “Step On Me,” “Sexy,” “Top-Bottom,” “Lemons,” and “Hot Babes.” Blitzo entered another shop with pink windows. The cherubs flew down and landed on an upper balcony. The three cherubs snuck inside the shop and hid behind a red movable drawer decorated with red hearts.

“Sweet heavens, what kind of store is this?” Collin asked in horror and disgust. He glanced up at the various BDSM sex devices: demonic masks on display, erotic outfits, paddles decorated with hearts, a bunch of straps, chains, whips, phallus shaped vibrators and the like.

Keenie tried not to barf. “This guy truly is a SICKO!”

“Keep it down, Keenie!” Cletus hissed.

“Can I help you all?” asked the spider shopkeeper as he pulled apart the rows of straps hiding them. All three cherubs screamed.

Cletus walked up to the shopkeeper as the others followed and crouched by the counter. Blitzo looked at some straps, not noticing them. Cletus began, “Hello fellow vile hellbeast. We are on a totally normal demon day, just out lookin’ to get some good tormenting in. We need some good…” he gaged in disgust, “…to-torture supplies.”

Cletus’ mouth fell open as Blitzo left the store.

The spider smiled. “Well, you’ve come to the right place, my slyly robotic looking friend. What kind of torturing are we looking to do?”

“Oh!” Cletus replied nervously, sweat dripping down his face as the spider held his shoulder. “You know, just your standard …pain.”

Collin quickly added, “As long as it doesn’t hurt too much. Like do you have any harshly worded bumper stickers?”

“Uhhh…” the spider paused.

“Or something for a mild spanking?” Keenie suggested.

The spider grinned again. “Oh, we have that in spades.” He presented a variety of punishment-inducing props that made the cherubs’ eyes go wide. “We got your flops, your crops, your whips, your whisks, sudden, un-sudden, wooden, leather, titanium, brimstone, what are you intooooo?” Blue flames briefly burned in the darkness as the cherubs huddled together in terror.

The cherubs fell silent in shock. Cletus cleared his throat. “I don’t know if that’s exactly what we’re looking for. What was that other horrid hellspawn looking at?”

“Oh, just some of those!” said the spider. He pointed to an execution-style chair with phallus devices, whips on the wall and a figure of a demon upside down on a rack.

The cherubs stared speechless as Collin fainted backwards. The cherubs burst out of the store with their rockets, Keenie holding Collin in the air.

“Cletus,” Keenie yelled in fear. “He’s clearly on his way to claim another innocent earthly soul in some sick barbaric fashion! We have to stop him!”

Cletus listened as his device received a signal. “Not yet, we have to wait, for our moment.” He spoke into the device, “Red Baby coming in. We are following our target now. Blue Lamb is…recovering from shock.”

They all flew off into the distance. They landed in a bush near a purple neon “Sluts Ur Us” shop. Cletus picked up readings from his satellite from a device in his hand.

Collin used binoculars and observed the long line of demons waiting outside of Ozzie’s. Two bouncers stood guard at the heart-shaped entrance.

“Heavens what is this place? It’s so heavily guarded.”

Keenie put two fingers together. “Armory? War room?”

Cletus banged his fist on her helmet. “Quiet! Don’t you realize stealth is our greatest advantage here?”

A succubi couple walked past them, wearing fancy clothing. “Oh darling, look voyeurs! Positively adorable, darling!”

Collin peered through his binoculars and noticed Fizzarolli driving a forklift and Blitzo walking beside him.

“I think he’s coming…OH GOD! WHAT’S THAT?!”

He spotted Blitzo’s purple phallus-shaped device.

Cletus took the binoculars and gulped. “Dear…God…”

Keenie then peered through the binoculars. “He’s going to use THAT?! ON AN INNOCENT PERSON?! WE HAVE TO STOP HIM NOW!”

Cletus took a breath. “You’re right. Okay guys, it’s time. Now’s our moment. Remember everything that horny little fudgeknuckle did to us because now, we make him pay. For the humans, for the heavens and most of all…FOR US! LET’S GO KICK SOME ASS!” They launched themselves into the air.

“LET’S FUCK ‘EM UP!” Cletus shouted.

Cletus was suddenly knocked onto the ground by a leaping Millie. Cletus seethed and crawled on the ground as Millie brandished her deadly black axe with a smirk.

“W-what? How did you…” Collin stuttered before Loona knocked him to the ground.

“Find ya?” Loona grinned, holding him down. “We were already following our dumbass boss to make sure he doesn’t fuck up our meal ticket.”

Kennie spotted Blitzo walking in the distance. She started to race after him until Moxxie fired bullets in her way. She glared and revealed her metal claws. He aimed his gun at her.

“And you weren’t exactly covert.”

Loona posed and smirked, her butt prominent. “You got a lot of nerve coming to our neighborhood after the ass kicking you took last time.” She wagged her butt, taunting them.

Cletus glared. “A lotta nerve, and a LOTTA UPGRADES, MUTT!”

He clenched his hand into a fist and used his long extendable robot arm to knock Loona away. He fired a missile from his left hand, which Millie barely dodged, swinging her axe. The missile exploded into blue flames. The force of the blinding explosion knocked her back.

Moxxie bared his teeth and fired from his gun at Cletus. He used his gauntlet as a shield.

“The boss!” Cletus called, hovering in the air. “Get their BUTTS!” He fired missiles from both his hands. Moxxie leaped out of the way.

Collin raced forward and aimed his gun hesitantly at the back of Blitzo’s head as he walked. Collin hesitated too long, because Loona lifted the gun out of his hands.

“No you don’t, bitch!” she yelled.

Blitzo inadvertently dodged the bullet when he bent down and picked up a coin. The bullet hit a white-haired incubus in the head and he collapsed. Blitzo grinned as he stared at the coin and put it in his pocket. He glanced down and almost tripped over the incubus body. “Hey wake up, asshole.”

Moxxie leaped behind a pile of debris, avoiding another teal blue explosion. He crouched down with his gun drawn as another explosion flashed nearby. Keenie zoomed forward with her rocket propelling her forward. She kept flying until she yelled and flipped in mid-air, dodging phallus shaped bullets tossed by Millie.

Meanwhile, Loona and Collin wrestled for the gun. Collin aimed it again, but Loona pressed down on it with her hands, causing bullets to create rows of holes in the street. Millie lifted up Keenie with her broken red axe handle. She noticed the barrage of bullets coming her way and used her handle to pull up a manhole drain as a shield decorated with purple neon hearts. She then used the manhole cover to knock Keenie away. Keenie’s metal claws sliced through it. With a swift kick, Millie pushed down on the manhole, causing Keenie’s metal claws to break off.

Millie smirked. “Sorry hun, you can play as me, but that doesn’t mean you’re anywhere close…”

Millie yelped as Cletus grabbed her with his robotic arm. Keenie found herself being pulled along too as Millie’s pointed tail was wrapped around her neck. She grabbed the remains of her metal claw. Both females screamed as they were dragged along. Keenie seethed and stabbed Millie in the leg with the metal claw. Millie cried out as black blood splattered in the air. Keenie grinned but paused as a bullet hit her visor, breaking off some glass. She growled and looked toward Moxxie.

“Mox!” Millie exclaimed with a smile.

Millie then used her tail to fling Keenie into the wall of debris. Moxxie grinned and held the cherub’s shoulder, aiming his gun at her face.

“Welcome to Hell, bitch!”

In response, Keenie grabbed both his arms and sent both of them in the air with her rockets.

Millie screamed in pain as she tore out the metal claw from her leg with her tail and used it to cut off Cletus’ robotic arm, freeing herself from his grip. She swung herself onto Cletus’ other arm and launched herself onto his back.

“Wait, what the…”

Cletus sputtered as Millie stabbed him in the back with the metal claw. His suit sparked with teal electricity. He launched himself into the air. Keenie punched Moxxie repeatedly as they flew into the air. Millie noticed and jumped off of Cletus’ back, kicking him so he would fall. Millie jumped onto Keenie’s back, wrestling her off of Moxxie.

Collin fired his gun repeatedly at Loona who hid near a building. Loona yelped as a bullet struck her in the shoulder. She briefly shifted into her human disguise to make herself smaller. Collin’s gun firing was stopped when Cletus landed on him.

Loona peeked out from her hiding spot.

Millie punched Keenie in the arm, breaking part of her suit. Suddenly, Millie, Moxxie, and Keenie all screamed as they plummeted to the ground. Loona gasped as she turned back into her Hellhound form.

How could she help catch their fall?

Loona then spotted two pink demons up top. A black-haired muscular incubus and a long white-haired succubus clinked their glasses at the top of a hotel. Loona took Cletus’ fallen gauntlet and aimed a missile at the building. The building read “Cock and Comb Resort” in blue neon with blue palm trees.

The building cracked and split in two, the couple on the roof screaming.  Blitzo heard the sound but as he turned around, a bus appeared with a graphic smiling Fizzarolli face and the words “Blowout Sale! I don’t want them anymore!”

As the three individuals fell, Moxxie kicked Keenie off of them. By sheer luck, Moxxie and Millie landed in the hotel pool seconds after it crashed to the ground. Both imps, relieved that they survived, made out with their long tongues in plain sight. The incubus stared wide-eyed at the destruction and the scene.

Keenie collapsed painfully to the ground. Had she been human, she would’ve been killed. Blitzo casually walked away to his destination.

The cherubs, now dirty and injured, slowly moved back together. Cletus dragged his companions with one hand, holding his beeping device in the other. All of their suits had been destroyed and left behind.

“R-Red Baby…we failed…must get back to Earth…” Cletus groaned into the device.

The small portal opened next to them. To add insult to injury, a grinning Loona tossed their red device away and kicked all three screaming cherubs back through the portal. They landed in a dazed heap back at D.H.O.R.K.S. headquarters. The portal then closed.

The Agents’ shadows loomed over the wounded cherubs.

“So, how’d it go?” asked Agent Two, curious. She held a white mug that read “Pizza Party?” on it with a slice of pizza in the middle and confetti on the sides. Agent One posed in his Loona furry costume, revealing his face. Agent Two held a leash that connected to Agent One’s spiky collar.

“W-wait,” Cletus moaned. “That’s the demon that kicked us back. Y-you’re a fan of her?”

Agent One shrugged with a smile. “What can I say? She’s hot.”

Agent Two yanked on his collar. “Stop messing around and help me get these angels healed.”

“I-it’s okay,” Cletus croaked, “We can h-heal ourselves…” he slumped back to the ground.

Agent Two grabbed Collin and Keenie, while Agent One got Cletus.

“Let’s get them to the healing chambers,” said Agent One. “I’ll see if I can remake their demon exoskeletons.”

Several hours later, the cherubs awoke to find themselves healed, washed and refreshed. They had rested on glowing green rectangular tables with oxygen masks. An eerie monotonous chant surrounded them as the priest clones raised their arms and spread healing energy to them. They even poured holy water onto their heads. They soon departed into the darkness to continue their marching and training.

“Whoa, what happened?” Cletus asked. He and his colleagues sat up and flapped their wings.

Agent Two grinned. “Did I mention that the priests can also heal people?”

“No offence, but I don’t think any real human would want to encounter those guys,” Collin said. “Too creepy.”

Agent Two shrugged. “They’d hardly notice the difference between them and the real pope. Besides, the humans shall thank us once we’ve finally eliminated the demonic threat.”

“I don’t know if Heaven will approve��”

“Stop your whining, Collin!” Keenie barked. “Now what do we do without our suits?”

“One is in the process of making some new gadgets,” said Agent Two. “And I need to help train the priests and avoid the various complaints and lawsuits about the fallen children that seem to creep in, despite our organization. You three get some rest in the meanwhile.”

“I’m hungry,” Collin mentioned as all of the cherubs’ stomachs grumbled in agreement. “Have any food?”

A few scientists came into the room and brought them small burgers with leafy greens, peas, and a few overcooked mashed potatoes on trays. Three small apple juice boxes came with it.

“Nowhere near as good as Heaven food,” Keenie sighed.

“But it’ll do,” said Collin.

Keenie fumed. “I can’t believe we just got defeated…again! I swear those demons will pay!”

“Look on the bright side,” said Cletus. “If their leader comes to Earth to harm more humans, we’ll be doubly prepared! We have the Agents on our side now!”

Collin sighed. “At least we won’t have to steal any more money to eat…hopefully. This place gives me the jitters, but it’s better than living on the streets.”

Keenie seemed to agree. “Yes, we’re also helping save more souls by working to defeat the demons before they can harm any more people! Surely that alone will get us back!”

“But guys, these Agents also sent children into another world to die,” Collin whispered. “Don’t you think they might…sin against us when we’re no longer needed?”

Keenie put her hands on her hips. “Perhaps we should’ve left you behind to help the homeless people.”

“And let you two take things to extremes and violence? No way.”

Cletus glared. “You are here to help us, right?”

Collin nodded after a pause.

“Then do yourselves and us a favor and FOLLOW MY LEAD! You too, Keenie.”

Keenie mumbled, fists clenched. “If we had attacked that imp at the very start…”

“My moment was the best and you know it!” Cletus barked, jabbing a finger at her chest.

“And if Collin hadn’t hesitated when aiming at that imp…”

“S-sorry, Keenie…” Collin flinched from her angry expression and waving fist.

Cletus then wandered over to Agent One. “Say, do you have any ideas about how to capture a shape-shifting Hellhound?”

Agent One grinned. “Oh, how I’d love to capture Loona! And have her sign my suit. And…examine her fabulous booty…”

“Gross!”

“And there’s the snuggling, too. A real-life body-pillow! My bed’s freezing in this place…”

“You and your boyish fantasizes, One,” Agent Two rolled her eyes.

Keenie turned to Collin. “And don’t even think about sneaking off and telling any humans about this! They don’t need to go into a panic. If they find out about all this, we’re all toast.”

Collin whimpered as Cletus and Keenie flew off.

0 0 0

‘I miss home,’ Collin thought sadly as he watched the cloned priest army march in formation, chanting monotonous psalms meant to drive away demons. Cletus, Keenie, and the two agents were busy engaging in some kind of war strategy game reminiscent of Dungeons and Dragons. Sharing each other’s brutality and hatred of demons, they appeared to be having fun. In this strange new facility in this strange new world, Collin had never felt so alone and insecure. He could imagine the judgmental eyes of the angels and his fellow cherubs after stealing money and partaking in a future Heaven-Earth-Hell war.

Collin then had a thought. If the portal could be used to go to Hell…what if it could be used to get back into Heaven?

‘No, that’s crazy,’ Collin thought. ‘We’d just be banished again.’ He paused. ‘Then again…angels and humans aren’t allowed in Hell and those agents are already breaking the rules. Perhaps if I can convince my co-workers that there is a better way back to Heaven. Maybe we won’t have to kill demons or enter Hell again to prove ourselves.’

After the others had finished their roleplaying game and the agents left to craft more suits and weapons, Keenie called to Collin.

“How about you help the agents get their paperwork done? Cletus and I are going to check to see if any soul needs to be saved.”

Collin raised an eyebrow. “Why is that?”

Keenie folded her arms. “Because you’re the sidekick whimp who always gets in the way.”

“Hey!” Collin barked. “I always have to do the paperwork! And this time it’s not even our own!”

“The agents are busy with trying to recreate our battle suits!” said Cletus. “And since you’re good with paperwork, it’ll be good practice for you to learn how to be quiet!” Keenie snickered.

Collin groaned. “You’re seriously not thinking about going back to…that horrid place again, are you?”

Cletus scoffed. “Preferably not. Ideally, we’ll be fully armed and take those imps by surprise the next time they travel to Earth!”

“We wouldn’t even know where they are!” Collin countered.

“The red device certainly helped track him down in Hell,” Cletus mentioned. “They’ll just make another one for us to use here.”

“Ok then…”

Cletus and Keenie were about to leave, when Collin remembered his idea.

“Guys wait! What if there was another way back into Heaven?”

“Like what?” Keenie asked.

“If the agents can create a portal to Hell, shouldn’t they also be able to create one back to Heaven?”

Keenie pondered. “Well…I suppose it’s possible…”

“No it’s not,” Cletus argued. “They specifically said that portal was for Hell, only.”

“But they said they weren’t even sure where they sent the children,” said Collin. “That means the portal can go to multiple places.”

“The portal is still not complete,” said Cletus. “We could end up in a world even more dangerous! Besides, we’re not abandoning our mission for revenge against the demons! That’s the top priority.” Keenie nodded in agreement.

“Whatever happened to helping save human souls?” Collin asked. “Look at us now! We’re helping a bunch of criminal, child-killing agents, we’re putting humans in danger by opening portals to Hell! Why can’t we just put aside our hatred and…”

“’Get along with everyone’?” Keenie did air quotes. “The only way we can keep saving humans is to get rid of our enemies! The humans need our protection and if it involves invading Hell, then so be it!”

Keenie then turned around. “Although…I could ask the agents about sending us back to Heaven through their portal…”

Collin’s face turned hopeful…

“After we kill I.M.P.!” Cletus and Keenie both declared. They let out crazed laughs and left Collin alone in the cold darkness.

[promisedneverwrite]

Nightingale

Poppy x Mc

Masterlist

Taglist: @ashleyfenner @veenast @simpforolderwomen @shrzdm @maskedalienfreak @plutoscape @shows-simp-card @baexpoppy @iamsimpforpoppy @dreamofyouu @feliiix @thescarycatishere @xryu-minx @tragic-tm @stanzoeywade @sister-solaris @starofeden @kamilah78taeko @calraquin @somewillwin @wolfietheduckyou

Previous Chapter

Chapter III

“Is it just me or has Poppy been getting eye-bags?” Poppy's eye twitched as she heard the comment walking from the kitchen to the foyer. She had begun to notice her little nightingale stopped playing at their scheduled times, the worst part is that she got used to getting lullabies to help her sleep. Hence the dark circles now appearing on her perfect face. How rude to ruin her nightly routine. “And she started sleeping here again.” Poppy rolled her eyes, the girl couldn’t even whisper properly.

“I live here you ignoramus, but you won't be by the time I blink and find you still in my line of sight.” The Zeta girls gossiping squeaked and ran as Poppy glared at them. While the girl wasn’t wrong, she was in no mood to talk about her appearance. This was not a laughing matter, her perfect skin was on the line if she couldn’t sleep properly. She had been spoiled and now she was having to deal with withdrawals accompanied by petty bitches who couldn’t take a hint and leave her alone.

Veronica was walking around Zeta, phone in hand, looking for the best lighting catching sight of Poppy massaging her temples in the foyer.

“Jesus, you look like a raccoon.” Poppy turned her annoyed look to Veronica who raised a brow taking her in, a small smirk on her lips. “There is a thing called concealer, you know.”

“Shut up.” Veronica put her phone away leaning on one side, hand on her hip looking at her curiously.

“Did you get kicked out by your secret beau?” Poppy narrowed her eyes at her, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What delusions are you spouting Lombardi?” Veronica shrugged looking at her nails.

“Me and Chloe have been betting on trying to figure out why you’ve been sleeping elsewhere, but no luck.” Poppy scoffed, of course they’d all gossip. “And you already broke up with Carter so…” Poppy should be pissed but she was too tired.

“And you’re asking me…?” Veronica snorted like the answer was obvious.

“To win, duh.” Poppy rolled her eyes and waved her off.

“Ugh I’m leaving, bother me when I have enough energy and adderall to deal with you all.” Poppy turned and climbed up the stairs to her room leaving Veronica behind.

“So never?” Veronica chuckled as Poppy flipped her the bird as she turned down the hall to her room.

Poppy laid in her bed just staring at the ceiling brows furrowing as she failed to fall asleep. Her alarm sounded and Poppy clicked it off with a sigh, mass communications was the one class she dreaded among others. With Penelope Dogwood turning a new leaf, Poppy had to write her own papers, it was beneath her, reminiscent of her early freshman days when she made the unfortunate mistake of giving a damn. MassComms was the one class she had with Farmsville, the bane of her existence as of late. The aggravating giant pushing her buttons farther than anyone else dared to. With another sigh she got up, reapplied her concealer and primped her hair before strutting out to MassComms making sure to keep her head up, lest her crown fall.

“Howdy pardner.” Poppy twitched at the infuriating grin of Bea’s face as she sat down next to her. They had been assigned partners for the day to fill out some damn worksheet Ms. Roberta left for them as she went to the copy room or something. Just perfect. “Hey, you okay?” Poppy gave her a scowl, the pity on her face just infuriated her.

“No.” Poppy stared straight down at her paper.

“You look kinda tired.”

“Why are you still talking to me?” Bea pursed her lips and shrugged before she started working on her own worksheet. Then Poppy heard it, a soft humming midway into the worksheet and her body relaxed, eyelids getting heavy.

Bea left her alone, Poppy didn’t seem at her best today. So she got to work on her own worksheet, humming to herself for a bit when a weight settled itself on her shoulder. Bea slowly turned to find Poppy asleep, the usual creases of frustration in her brow smoothed over. She looked serene. Bea blinked then slowly returned to her work to not disturb her, until it became apparent that Poppy’s neck would hurt if she didn’t fix her posture. She gently settled back into her chair and surprisingly Poppy’s head followed the movement with a tiny grunt. Bea smiled at that, letting Poppy’s head settle itself to a more comfortable position while her eyes still remained closed. Bea returned to her work still humming softly, it lasted a good thirty minutes until Ms. Roberta walked in and clapped her hands startling Poppy awake. Bea didn’t look at her, keeping her face straight as Poppy reoriented herself beside her, with Ms. Roberta talking about an upcoming project.

“Your pairs for this project will be your partner today so keep that in mind.We’ll talk more in depth about it this friday.” Bea glanced at Poppy to only be greeted by the back of her head, form tilted away from her arm propped up to lean on it staring straight ahead as if nothing happened.

Poppy was mentally berating herself for falling asleep in class glaring daggers at students she found staring at her. She even gave a scathing look at Ms. Roberta’s back when she wasn’t looking, if she had taken longer, then she could have slept some more. She was a light sleeper so when Ms. Roberta clapped as she arrived back, her eyes snapped open and found her head resting on Farmsville’s shoulder. She quickly removed herself, and either Bea didn’t notice or didn’t comment as she just continued writing her answers face in straight concentration. Poppy turned away from her in embarrassment, crossing her legs the other way and acting like nothing happened. As soon as the clock struck the end of class Poppy strutted out first leaving her without a look back. How embarrassing.

Next

[ofna]

Can you rank the ROs in how good they are at keeping secrets

I feel like this is just trying to get at who's the birdtrayer haha. But I did say that their identity should be obvious by the end of the demo so... 👀

Best to worst at keeping secrets:

1) Natasha. You might know that something is up, but never in a million years would you actually get the specifics out of her.

2) Bea/Beau. Could easily fly under the radar to the point that most people don't even know that there is a secret. Plus, they could keep it to themselves under most questioning and circumstances.

3) Simon/Simone. In the middle spot because, while they're not the best at keeping their mouth shut in the first place, they have the willpower to aggressively deflect and prevent further details from spilling.

4) Elliot. Together enough not accidentally to let something slip, but he is a truly horrible liar when being directly questioned.

5) Jeremy. Most likely to bring it up by accident. Could make a very convincing attempt at talking his way to another topic before admitting too much, but is not the best at actually keeping a secret.

[lyricalporcupine]

Talking about how much they love the other to friends/family pls 😊

Here ya go! I did both Yasha and Beau and there is a time skip. I also got carried away with Beau’s part so oops lmao

~~~

“You’re such a fucking sap,” Molly cajoled.

Yasha smirked and shoved her friend, causing him to stumble a bit on the street. He laughed as he regained his balance and turned around to face Yasha, walking backwards without regard to the other people.

“It’s true, darling,” he drawled with his own smirk.

Yasha felt herself flush and knew her face was red to the tips of her pointed ears. “She makes me happy,” Yasha said simply with a shrug and soft smile.

“Ugh,” Molly exclaimed, turning with a flourish that allowed Yasha close the small distance between them to allow them to walk side by side again. “Why?”

Yasha’s soft smile grew. “She’s strong. She’s really funny. She’s smart as hell. She’s honest,” Yasha said with a chuckle, “even if it hurts.”

“She’s an asshole,” Molly countered, to which Yasha laughed.

“I like that she’s an asshole,” Yasha said with a shrug.

Molly smirked at her. “You would.”

Yasha bumped his shoulder and he bumped hers in return.

“Anything else,” Molly asked after a few moments. “What else attracts you to the grumpy one?”

Yasha was silent for a while, hands shoved into her coat pockets. She was quiet for so long that Molly figured she wasn’t going to answer. But then, softly, Yasha said, “She makes me feel safe.”

Molly stared up at his friend. He knew exactly what that meant for her and how important it was. He finally realized that, to Yasha, Beau meant something so precious to her. Something Yasha had been looking for for years that Molly himself had tried to give her. Beau, to Yasha, meant home.

He huffed, his breath drifting up in front of him as steam in the cold air. He linked his arm through Yasha’s and pushed into her side. “You love her.” It wasn’t a question.

Yasha gave a small nod. “So much.”

Molly heaved a dramatic sigh. “Does this mean I can’t tease her anymore,” he asked with a pout.

Yasha chuffed. “She’d probably think you were sick if you didn’t bicker.”

“Well I am all about keeping up appearances,” he said with a self important sniffle.

Yasha laughed outright. “You’re an asshole,”’she said with all the affection she could muster for the tiefling. Which was quite a lot.

“Yes, I am,” he agreed happily. Then he smiled up at her. “But you like assholes. Remember?”

Yasha smirked down at him before kissing him on his horn. “Yes, I do.”

~~~~~~

It was a rare event that Beau visited her parents. She hated doing it, mostly because of her father. But she went, at least once a month, just to see TJ. Beau’s disdain for her parents wasn’t his fault and Beau hoped, that by spending time with him that he wouldn’t pick up their shitty attitude. As the years trudged on, TJ, thankfully, didn’t seem to be anything like their father.

Instead, much to their parents’ chagrin, TJ had instead picked up his sister’s mannerisms, quick wit, and snark. And as a pre-teen, it was only getting worse. Or better, if you asked Beau, who encouraged him.

Despite this, their parents would allow TJ to visit his sister for a week or so, mainly during the summer while school was out. He’d pack a bag and all but run to her car when she showed up and throw himself at her.

Now they sat on the floor of Beau and Yasha’s living room, playing a racing game TJ brought with him. They were neck and neck, tied in their wins. This was the last race and as

Beau was poised for a victory, Yasha walked out of the bedroom and kissed the top of Beau’s head, which caused her to completely forget the game and crash into a wall as she turned her attention to her fiancé.

“I’m meeting Molly,” she said as she checked her purse. Yasha wore a sun dress, something she didn’t often wear, and turned to smile at Beau and TJ when he turned to look at her after crossing the finish line. “I’ll be back later. I was thinking burgers for dinner?”

TJ’s face lit up. “And milkshakes,” he asked hopefully.

Yasha smiled and walked over to ruffle his slightly curly and very shaggy hair. “Only if you let Beau win,” Yasha teased.

“Oh, nevermind then,” he said and turned back to the tv.

“You little asshole,” Beau said with a laugh.

“Beau!”

“What,” Beau asked defensively. “He knows I’m kidding!”

“I know she’s kidding,” TJ echoed.

Yasha sighed and bent to kiss Beau. “Behave,” she said as she headed for the door.

An echo of “No!” followed her out the door.

Beau and TJ smiled at each other as he picked a new game and Beau set her controller aside, content to watch him play.

“Dad says you’re engaged,” TJ said as he got up and shuffled through his games. He looked over at Beau as she relocated to the couch.

“Yuppers,” she replied. “I was gonna talk to you about that, actually.” She smiled at him and asked, “Want to be a ring bearer?”

“I can’t be your best man,” he asked with a grin.

Beau laughed and raised up her arm, flattening her hand, palm down. “Sorry, you gotta be be at least this tall.”

He glared and flipped her off. She only laughed harder which caused him to smile. “Sure, I can be a ring bearer.”

“Excellent,” Beau said. “Yasha will be thrilled I finally asked.”

“When’s the wedding,” he asked as he finished picking a game and came to sit beside his sister, picking up his controller on the way.

“Next fall,” Beau answered. “Yasha likes the colors.”

“Neat,” TJ replied. “You and Yasha have been together a long time.”

Beau chuckled. “You sound like my friends. They think it’s overdue.”

TJ shrugged. “Maybe they’re right.”

Beau shrugged back. “Eh, we got there in the end. All that matters.”

“You inviting Dad,” TJ asked.

“Well if you and Mom are gonna be there, kinda have to invite the old man, too,” Beau said.

“I could accidentally on purpose break his leg so he has to stay home,” TJ offered.

Beau laughed. “Then you and Mom would have to stay home and take care of him.” She gave him a sideways smile. “Thanks for the offer, though, little brother.”

“Anytime,” he said with a laugh. “So, who asked who?”

Beau smiled and flashed her left hand and waggled her fingers until TJ turned to look at the small blue diamond on her ring finger. “She did.”

TJ looked at the ring then up at is sister. “She has poor taste.”

Beau’s mood fell a bit. “Like you’re some ring expert.”

“Not the ring,” he said. “You.”

Beau made a squawking noise and shoved TJ’s shoulder. “Fuck you!”

He laughed as he fell onto his side. “Fuck you, back!” He never paused in his game.

TJ eventually sat back and smiled. “So,how did you know?”

“How did I know what,” Beau asked.

“How did you know she was ‘the one,’” he asked, laying his controller down to air quote.

Beau smirked. “Really want to know? It’s sappy shit.”

TJ shrugged. “I mean. I did ask.”

“Fair.” Beau repositioned herself and draped her leg over the couch arm. “I always thought she was hot, ya know?”

“She is very pretty,” TJ cut in.

Beau smirked. “I’ll be sure to tell her you said that.”

TJ whipped around to face Beau, his dark skin turning darker with a blush. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

Beau laughed and gently nudged him. “Don’t be a shit and maybe I won’t.” TJ pouted at her and Beau laughed harder. “Anyway. She’s always been hot. And she’s sweet as hell. A literal fucking angel, ya know?”

TJ was nodded like he did, in fact, know.

“But there was a moment, so fucking small, that sealed the deal,” Beau said with a dreamy sigh.

“What was it,” TJ asked, finally pausing his game and turned to Beau, wholly focused on her and the story now.

“We’d been dating for a few months,” Beau continued. “And while out doing some errands, we decided, on a whim, to stop at this antiques store. Nothing there caught my eye,” Beau said before quickly standing and heading over to a bookshelf next to the tv. It held books, of course, but also a few knick knacks. Beau reached for a small clay figurine of a dog, one of a set of five, and turned back to TJ.

“She bought this set of dog figures,” Beau said, a dopey grin on her face. “She had been so excited to have found them. As excited as if they’d been real dogs.” Still holding the figure, Beau walked back over to the couch and sat down and handed the dog to TJ to look at. “You don’t really remember, cause you were still pretty little, but Yasha used to be really standoffish. She was quiet and didn’t talk much.” Beau smiled at her brother. “You fell in love with her immediately, nearly forgetting all about me when we came to visit.”

TJ blushed at Beau’s words.

Beau smiled warmly at him. “That was one of the first times she really came out of her shell.” Beau’s eyes slid shut as she recalled the memory, a large grin on her face. “She was so beautiful in that moment.” Beau’s eyes opened but she didn’t seem to really see TJ in front of her, still lost in her memories. Then she blinked and her eyes focused. “It was one of the cutest fucking things I’d ever seen. The way she lit up, little brother. Brighter than the sun.

“That’s when I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her.”

She smiled at her brother, who simply stared back. He finally handed back the clay dog and nodded. “You were right.”

Beau took the figure and cradled it to her chest. “About what?”

“It really was sappy shit.” Then he smiled at her.

Beau launched from her spot and tackled him, lightly pinching his shoulder as she sat on him.

They eventually came apart, laughing and sweaty from their tussle. Beau put the figure back on the shelf, grateful it didn’t break, and sat back on the couch. TJ went back to his game and they were content in their silence.

Finally TJ said, “I’m really happy you have Yasha. And I’m happy she has you, too.”

Bea smiled and ruffled TJ’s hair. “And I’m happy you’re here, too. We both love you.”

“Ugh,” TJ groaned. “Stop.”

Beau laughed and turned back towards the tv, happy with how her life had shaped up to be.

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

lmao ppl still invested in C/R have got to be the most fickle-minded idiots out there. more so those who were just as upset as us abt be/aujester. they have latched into imo/dna which might've been a poor excuse for a snubbed beau/jes apology at the start. but they don't know HOW MUCH I'm LAUGHING now that the lau/da playlist was released and she called imo/gen something akin to "girlboss/little sister" or smth or like "she reminds me of when I was young" LMAOOO CR FANS OUGHT TO GET BURNED AT THIS LEVEL TBH STILL GIVING THEIR MONEY TO CR!! this should come as no surprise after what they did w bea/ujester!! Y'all clowns DESERVE THIS ACTUALLY!!

You know, I had no idea there were any playlists out.  It’s really no wonder that I didn’t know because when I was perusing fans’ conversations about C3, I never saw anyone bring this up.

So I took a look and... yeah.

They. Like. To. Fuck. Around.

[unicyclehippo]

"You don't see me." for Beaujester

It comes to a head after the turtle - dragon - dragon-turtle thing because of course it does, because all of them came really fucking close to dying and this has been hanging over them like a storm, like a wave that never broke over them, held there by everything they weren’t saying. It comes to a head because Beau retreats to lick her wounds and when Caduceus tries to heal her she snaps at him, which is one thing, but when Jester tries a few moments later to heal her, Beau snaps at her too, which is unheard of. 

Beau stares into surprised, hurt eyes and closes her own. 

‘Fuck. Sorry, Jes-ter,’ she says, completing Jester’s name after holding a moment on her nickname. 

Jester’s jewellery clinks when she shakes her head, like she’s doing now. ‘It’s fine,’ she lies. 

‘Is it?’ Fjord demands and Beau isn’t surprised when she forces her eyes open to face him, face...all of this, that he is glaring at her. ‘What the hell is going on with you, Beau?’

Nothing, she plans on saying. 

‘Mind your own fucking business,’ is what comes out. 

‘Beau,’ Jester tries to say, tries to interrupt them before they can begin, but Fjord takes a step forward and Beau juts her chin out like the cockiest of prize-fighters, daring him to take a swing, and the wave comes crashing down, all noise and hammering pressure.

‘Mind my business? You are my business!’

‘Sure, it’s really fucking felt that way -’

‘What is that supposed to mean? No, what is that supposed to mean?’ he demands when Beau scoffs, turning away. ‘You have a problem with the job I’m doing? Because from where I’m standing, it’s not me with the problem.’

To anyone really paying attention, the flash in Beau’s eyes is pure satisfaction. ‘Got something you wanna say to me, Fjord?’

‘You know what? Yeah. Yeah I do. You’re being an asshole. Have been for a while now.  I wanna know what the fuck is going on so I know if I’ve gotta knock your head back on straight.’ 

Fjord stumbles back a step when, instead of rolling her eyes or yelling back at him, Beau is suddenly up in his face. 

‘Go ahead and try,’ she snarls, planting her hands on his chest and shoving him back. He stumbles back into netted crates, catches himself there. When she shoves at him a second time, he’s ready for it and knocks her hands aside, rams his shoulder into her sternum; it’s Beau’s turn to stagger but she uses it well, grips at the chestplate of his armour and twists, kicking at his injured leg to take him down to the deck. He snatches at her and misses, snags the amulet instead and the leather thong it’s tied on snaps, coming free in his hand. 

Beau swipes at her nose. It had stopped bleeding after the fight but has started again. It leaves a rusty smear across her top lip and cheek. Crimson drips onto the deck beside him as she leans over him. 

‘Give that back.’

Fjord closes his fingers more tightly around it. He hadn’t meant to take it but now that he has it... ‘Tell me what’s got you acting like this.’

‘I think that’s probably enough,’ Caduceus says from the sidelines and his even, calm tone is enough to grate at both of them. 

‘I don’t think it is,’ Fjord says at the same time Beau snaps,

‘Fuck off, cowman.’

‘Now that’s uncalled for -’

‘Cow man? Really? This is exactly the shit I’m talking about.’ Fjord shoves the amulet up toward Beau, who snatches it from his hand and steps away. The string is snapped so she doesn’t bother to tie it but instead shoves it into her vest protectively. ‘You should apologise. I know you just barely learned how,’

‘Fjord!’

He bites down on his bottom lip, keeping back harsher words at Jester’s rebuke. 

Beau’s eyes are cool as they rest on him. Flick over to Caduceus. And, they all come to realise, the rest of the crew and their friends. 

‘Beau, come on, let me heal -’

‘Don’t touch me,’ Beau snaps at Jester again. 

‘You don’t have to talk to her like that, vulnerability be damned,’ Caleb mutters from the sidelines. 

‘Caleb, shut up!’

He falls silent for Jester but his disapproval is potent. 

Fjord takes in the line of them, all manner of beaten and bloody and bruised, and looks back to Beau. She’s the same way, maybe worse. He sighs. 

‘Ah shit. I’m sorry. Here, let me help.’ 

Calling what little healing he can manage into his hands, he stretches out a palm and watches as it fizzles into nothing, into empty air, when Beau steps back out of his reach. 

‘I don’t need your help,’ Beau tells him, all of them, words exact and cold. ‘I don’t need your help.’

Jester’s hands open and close into anxious fists as Beau turns and limps from them, toward the trapdoor leading below. Reaching out, Jester whispers a few words; the healing light around Jester’s hands is obvious, as is the way Beau’s spine shoots straight. She pauses mid-step before pushing on. 

//

She isn’t surprised that Caleb is the one to come after her. They all think it’s the two of them - humans sticking together - and maybe it should be, maybe that’s exactly what it once was, but for the last few weeks the distance between them has felt like a chasm growing wider and wider as he refused to talk to her, refused to look at her. 

He enters the cabin with a quiet knock and closes the door behind him. Doesn’t take a seat, just stands there by the door and watches as she unwraps the bindings around her fingers and wrists and begins to clean what wounds she can.

‘You were cruel to Jester. She just wants to help.’

Beau grunts. Hisses as she pours stinging salt water over the abrasions on her hands. ‘She can keep her spells. She might need ‘em.’

‘You need them, Bea-’

‘I’ll be just fine but we won’t be if the ship sinks when the Captain drags it onto a fucking reef or whatever.’

Caleb is quiet for a moment. Then, ‘Perhaps he needs the aid of his first mate.’

Beau flicks her eyes toward him, watches him as he is watching her. His face is impassive but his eyes... He watches her as he had Essek, when they had found him to be a traitor. Like he doesn’t recognise her. 

‘What are you trying to do? Interrogate me, Vollstrecker?’

The flinch is minute, but it’s there.

‘Why are you trying to leave us?’ he asks after a moment, sliding the question in front of her openly. There is nothing in his tone but curiosity. Perhaps some faint confusion. An equation he wants to solve. She resumes scrubbing, over her hands, beneath her nails. The water bleeds red. He continues. ‘You told me we could do great things together. You told me to trust you.’ The word hisses from him, like air from a punctured lung. ‘You told me to believe in you, in the rest of the group, and now you - you’re the one who wants to leave? Why?’

‘God. You really don’t see it, do you?’

‘See what?’

‘The size of your fucking ego.’

‘I know who I am, Beauregard. I’m talking about you-’

‘I already tried!’ she yells. It’s jarringly loud, echoing back to her against the wall right in front of her and she pulls back. Steps back from the basin, runs dripping wet hands through her hair and huffs an unhappy laugh. ‘Fuck. God. You really don’t - I have tried trusting you, the lot of you, and you don’t - you fucking throw it back in my face.’

Caleb’s expression goes stoney but he doesn’t interrupt.

‘I took you back to my home,’ she says, voice shaking but not breaking. ‘I told you I didn’t want to, that he threw me out, and you asked me to do it anyway and so I did. I took you there, and I spoke to my father and my mother and the brother they actually wanted the whole time they had me. I did that. I went to a fucking hag and said to her take it all, take every fucking thing that I have, take it all. Just let my friend go. And - and sure, m-maybe it was fucked up, maybe it wasn’t the right fucking call, maybe it’s not what you would’ve done but I didn’t fucking expect you all to sit in a fucking circle and ask me if I fucking care.’

‘Beau -’

‘No! No, you asked me what the fuck is going on so here it is! Here it is, Caleb, and I hope you enjoy it because all I want is a shred, just a shred of a sign that you guys give a fuck about me. I’d kill Ikithon if that’s what you want from me. You know that? Even if you didn’t want it, I’d punch his face in until it was jam because he tried to break you. Because he experimented on you. I care about you and I care about all the fucked up kids and fucked up mages he made doing that. I care about the fact that the rest of the Assembly knows and hasn’t stopped him. I pulled Nott out of fucking lava, pretended to be a slave so that we could go rescue her husband. I would give up everything for her. I picked up Fjord and carried him out of the King’s fucking Cage. Yasha nearly killed me and she did kill my people. Mine. Not yours. Mine. Caduceus talks like he knows what the fuck is going on but if he knows shit about me, all he talks about is destiny. Fuck destiny! Fuck fate! Fuck all of that shit! I’m the one in control here, I’m the one who gets to say what I do, I’m the one who decides what matters! Do you finally get that? Do you finally get that, Caleb? Can you finally understand that even when I try and try, I’m the only one of the Mighty Nein,’ she says, and the words have always sounded like a joke but they sound downright mocking coming from her now, ‘that isn’t mighty. And that doesn’t matter so long as my friends can see who I am - but you don’t. You don’t...see that I’m trying. That I was trying to be...better.’

‘We see that, Beauregard,’

‘I don’t need people to see me do good things to know that they’re good,’ she says, and the words are firm and flat like she’s repeating them, reciting them from somewhere. ‘But I thought my friends would...’ She shakes her head, a small smile sitting wrong on her lips. She laughs quietly. Exhausted. ‘It doesn’t matter. We’ve ended a war. What else can we possibly do? It’s over. It’s over.’

[somegirlontheinternet135]

Imagine this #33

Official cherub roblox account. For some reason, I think all cherubs play roblox

Like, imagine their usernames

Kennie: Kenny_AngelCutie29

Cletus: MrCletus_God64

Collin: CollinTheGamer15

Deerie: DeerAngel_32

Beau: LittleBeau12

Honey: Honey_Bun48

Bea: BeaBae90

Rachel: MamdaRose_17

I know darn well which games they'd play

Keenie: Super competitive when it comes to gaming, she'd most likely games involve pvp and guns such as Arsenal or Zombie Attack

Cletus: He'd be into puzzle/mystery type games, so he'll play Piggy and Murder Mystery 2

Collin: This boy can't handle the stress and loud noises of pvp nor has the intelligence for puzzle solving games, so he would like to kick back and plays Adopt Me and Work At A Pizza Place

Deerie: She lives for drama, who needs the tv when the entertainment right in front of you. She plays Brookenhaven RP to see if she can watch some drama play out

Beau: Enjoys building. She'd spend hours in Bloxburg and Adopt Me to make the best houses. Beau also enjoys simulators

Bea and Honey: They enjoy playing together, mainly bee simulator.

Rachel: She abores fashion games. So royal high and fashion famous is her calling

[wthelvetica21]

The Living Tombstone Skull Husbandos

▶️ select your skull husband ◀️

zero_one : cinnamon roll skull bea

Rust : biker punk skull bro

Tesla : sir skull of science

Armstrong : skull hunk from outer space

Doc : dapper voodoo skull beau

DrunkGuy/SkullDude: hot mess skull himbo 

(Yeah I’m aware he’s a minor character but he’s the OG skull husband. That and Coda’s render of him has me... awestruck to say the least.

Which is kind of ironic that me; a woman who never was that big on drinking beer could crush so hard on a fictional alcoholic. But I could go all day...)

SkullHunchbackGuy: depressed gamer skull boi

(I know he kinda doesn’t count but whatever)

[aliensandartifacts]

Heels click on tiles. Beau is two steps behind on the left. Alexander is opposite him on my right. Between them is Caden, who is openly carrying and looking exactly like what he is: my bodyguard. The other two are suited up and looking smart. Behind them are three more men in suits who are no less lethal than Caden, but looking more refined. Bastian, Gregor, and Gabe are there for a reason. This is my first board meeting after taking over control of Meyers Worldwide and I’m about to send an earthquake through that boardroom the likes of which none of the men in it have ever felt. The man on my left is going to be the secondary cause of it.

Running an empire is one very extravagant game of chess. Strategy and timing are everything. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something that seems vital in order to come out on top. It is often best to feign weakness just before unleashing hell. Smirking and announcing “Checkmate” is the BEST feeling in the world. That’s what I’m about to do to all gathered there.

Since our return, Beau and my brothers have been putting things in motion to lead up to this day. They have just been waiting for me to be ready for it to happen. It had taken me a while, but now I was. Shoulders back, head up, a mask of supreme confidence in place, no one in the room I was heading towards would have any doubt that I was the one in control. I was the daughter of Ambrose Meyers and it was time I acted like a little like my father, even if I loathed the fact he ever existed.

As we neared the double doors to the boardroom, I slowed to allow Beau and Alexander to momentarily pass me. In a choreographed move that was choreographed specifically for the desired effect that it did garner, they simultaneously opened them two steps before I walked through them without having to slow. While it is customary for gentlemen in the South to stand when a lady enters the room, that was not the reason that several of the board members did. The looks on their faces showed their surprise and brought a smug smirk to mine.

“Gentlemen,” was all I said before giving a curt nod to all gathered. By then all at the table had risen, looks of nervousness being exchanged about as Beau took up a position at the end of the table while I made my way to the other end. Caden followed me, his hand resting on his weapon, eyes scanning the table for even a twitch. Bastian and Gregor took up positions against one wall, Alexander and Gabe opposite them on the other. The board members may have outnumbered us in numbers, but I can assure you, we truly had them surrounded and something told me they knew it. “Please, gentlemen, be seated.” My voice was cool, ambivalent, and calm. Blue eyes swept the room as they all inclined heads and sat. All but Beau. Our eyes met and he winked, go time.

“I will dispense with all of the formalities gentlemen. As you are all acutely aware, my father, Ambrose, and brother, Dominic, have disappeared. I was also the victim of an abduction attempt recently. It is feared that Ambrose and Dominic,” I would no longer refer to them by our familial relations, “have suffered the same fate, or worse. It is no secret that our family has many enemies, both in the business world and otherwise.”

As I spoke, my focus would stay on a board member for about twenty seconds before moving to another. It was causing them all to become even more uncomfortable. I knew that none of them had anything to do with the disappearance of my father and brother, but none of them knew that. They all had reasons to wish harm to the two men. That none of them had actually been the ones to do the deed was known only to the seven of us who had just entered the room.

“Before my father’s disappearance, he had transferred primary control of the company to me. His reasons for that are none of your concern, but it does now seem that this was quite the fortuitous decision.” A smirk came to my lips that made a couple of the board members shift. “As such, I have been reviewing the operations of Meyers Worldwide and exactly how much control I do have over the company. Those of you in this room cannot trump me, I have learned this after my own legal team reviewed all the incorporation documents. So, while you can direct the CEO and those below him, what I am about to declare will effectively become law.” More shifting took place and worried looks were exchanged.

“For this reason, I am here to announce that as of 5 A.M. this morning, Meyers Worldwide and Davenport Enterprises have formally merged.” That brought all members to their feet. I stepped back as Caden came forward. Beau tensed and I could see the four men against the walls did as well.

“THAT. IS. ENOUGH.” My voice boomed in the boardroom and brought all of them to a halt. Their heads turned towards me. Bea was grinning like a look. I had to imagine I looked as pissed as I now felt. I was tired of being disrespected and pushed around, I was NOT going to take it anymore. Had I woven a spell in the room before I raised my voice? YES. Was I going to apologize for it? Fuck no.

“SIT.” It was a command, and they all did. “La Hérissonne will be the combined corporation with Beau Davenport appointed as CEO. There will be a joint meeting of the board of directors next week, Friday. Attend or not, it matters not to me. I will NOT have insubordination or insurrection within the company, nor will I tolerate disorderly behavior like that again, gentlemen.” My gaze swept them all with a look I used on Grad Students that was quite effective in shutting them up and making them wither, it apparently worked on grown men as well. Good to know. “I am not my father, gentlemen, and I have no allegiance to you so I have NO qualms about cutting any of you loose if I feel you are not serving the best interest of this corporation. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

I barely waited for everyone to nod before I was in motion. My moving back had not been completely because of their reaction. It also put me in the perfect position for my, once again, choreographed exit. Caden fell in behind me and before I’d reached the other end of the table, Alexander and Bas had moved to the door. My hand slipped into the crook of Beau’s arm, and we exited through the doors that were once again opened at the exact perfect time. The hours spent the night before rehearsing this made it go off effortlessly. All those years in theatre and dance had their uses in the business world. You learn how to make an impression on your audience, right down to Gregor and Gabe closing the doors on their way out and leaving the board members alone again in the room.

“Well, that went better than expected, no one got shot.” I smirked as I quipped once we were half way down the hallway. Beau’s deep chuckle brought out one of my own as we fist bumped while continuing our walk down to my office that lay at the other end of the long hallway. My insides had been churning the entire time we had been in there, but from the way they had all reacted, I hadn’t forgotten how to put on a good act. Now to tackle reclaiming my position at LSU and things would all be falling into place.

I was getting back in my element. I was claiming my birthright from my mother. I was reclaiming who I was and what that truly meant. I would no longer live in fear, no longer shrink from my own shadow. I had friends and brothers who would follow me to the ends of the earth. Even with all I’d lost, what I had was worth even more. I wasn’t giving up and I wasn’t going anywhere without one hell of a fight. **The only way I'm leavin' is dead. That's the state of my, state of my, state of my head.**

@voodoobodyguards

@talamasca74

@sniperbonesguy