#be supportive and be critical but remember in the end it’s just a game it’s just a thing to do

[whitehartlane]

how do you manage to stay so positive about spurs??

after singing oh when the spurs all day during the day of our ucl final picturing our lads lifting the trophy and kissing it and taking photos with it only for that handball (which wasn’t a handball btw they literally changed the rules afterwards to make it clearer) to happen within the first minute i’ve become absolutely immune to pain

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Conspiratorialism as a material phenomenon

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I think it behooves us to be a little skeptical of stories about AI driving people to believe wrong things and commit ugly actions. Not that I like the AI slop that is filling up our social media, but when we look at the ways that AI is harming us, slop is pretty low on the list.

The real AI harms come from the actual things that AI companies sell AI to do. There's the AI gun-detector gadgets that the credulous Mayor Eric Adams put in NYC subways, which led to 2,749 invasive searches and turned up zero guns:

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/nycs-subway-weapons-detector-pilot-program-ends/

Any time AI is used to predict crime – predictive policing, bail determinations, Child Protective Services red flags – they magnify the biases already present in these systems, and, even worse, they give this bias the veneer of scientific neutrality. This process is called "empiricism-washing," and you know you're experiencing it when you hear some variation on "it's just math, math can't be racist":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/23/cryptocidal-maniacs/#phrenology

When AI is used to replace customer service representatives, it systematically defrauds customers, while providing an "accountability sink" that allows the company to disclaim responsibility for the thefts:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

When AI is used to perform high-velocity "decision support" that is supposed to inform a "human in the loop," it quickly overwhelms its human overseer, who takes on the role of "moral crumple zone," pressing the "OK" button as fast as they can. This is bad enough when the sacrificial victim is a human overseeing, say, proctoring software that accuses remote students of cheating on their tests:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#cheating-anticheat

But it's potentially lethal when the AI is a transcription engine that doctors have to use to feed notes to a data-hungry electronic health record system that is optimized to commit health insurance fraud by seeking out pretenses to "upcode" a patient's treatment. Those AIs are prone to inventing things the doctor never said, inserting them into the record that the doctor is supposed to review, but remember, the only reason the AI is there at all is that the doctor is being asked to do so much paperwork that they don't have time to treat their patients:

https://apnews.com/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-health-business-90020cdf5fa16c79ca2e5b6c4c9bbb14

My point is that "worrying about AI" is a zero-sum game. When we train our fire on the stuff that isn't important to the AI stock swindlers' business-plans (like creating AI slop), we should remember that the AI companies could halt all of that activity and not lose a dime in revenue. By contrast, when we focus on AI applications that do the most direct harm – policing, health, security, customer service – we also focus on the AI applications that make the most money and drive the most investment.

AI hasn't attracted hundreds of billions in investment capital because investors love AI slop. All the money pouring into the system – from investors, from customers, from easily gulled big-city mayors – is chasing things that AI is objectively very bad at and those things also cause much more harm than AI slop. If you want to be a good AI critic, you should devote the majority of your focus to these applications. Sure, they're not as visually arresting, but discrediting them is financially arresting, and that's what really matters.

All that said: AI slop is real, there is a lot of it, and just because it doesn't warrant priority over the stuff AI companies actually sell, it still has cultural significance and is worth considering.

AI slop has turned Facebook into an anaerobic lagoon of botshit, just the laziest, grossest engagement bait, much of it the product of rise-and-grind spammers who avidly consume get rich quick "courses" and then churn out a torrent of "shrimp Jesus" and fake chainsaw sculptures:

https://www.404media.co/email/1cdf7620-2e2f-4450-9cd9-e041f4f0c27f/

For poor engagement farmers in the global south chasing the fractional pennies that Facebook shells out for successful clickbait, the actual content of the slop is beside the point. These spammers aren't necessarily tuned into the psyche of the wealthy-world Facebook users who represent Meta's top monetization subjects. They're just trying everything and doubling down on anything that moves the needle, A/B splitting their way into weird, hyper-optimized, grotesque crap:

https://www.404media.co/facebook-is-being-overrun-with-stolen-ai-generated-images-that-people-think-are-real/

In other words, Facebook's AI spammers are laying out a banquet of arbitrary possibilities, like the letters on a Ouija board, and the Facebook users' clicks and engagement are a collective ideomotor response, moving the algorithm's planchette to the options that tug hardest at our collective delights (or, more often, disgusts).

So, rather than thinking of AI spammers as creating the ideological and aesthetic trends that drive millions of confused Facebook users into condemning, praising, and arguing about surreal botshit, it's more true to say that spammers are discovering these trends within their subjects' collective yearnings and terrors, and then refining them by exploring endlessly ramified variations in search of unsuspected niches.

(If you know anything about AI, this may remind you of something: a Generative Adversarial Network, in which one bot creates variations on a theme, and another bot ranks how closely the variations approach some ideal. In this case, the spammers are the generators and the Facebook users they evince reactions from are the discriminators)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generative_adversarial_network

I got to thinking about this today while reading User Mag, Taylor Lorenz's superb newsletter, and her reporting on a new AI slop trend, "My neighbor’s ridiculous reason for egging my car":

https://www.usermag.co/p/my-neighbors-ridiculous-reason-for

The "egging my car" slop consists of endless variations on a story in which the poster (generally a figure of sympathy, canonically a single mother of newborn twins) complains that her awful neighbor threw dozens of eggs at her car to punish her for parking in a way that blocked his elaborate Hallowe'en display. The text is accompanied by an AI-generated image showing a modest family car that has been absolutely plastered with broken eggs, dozens upon dozens of them.

According to Lorenz, variations on this slop are topping very large Facebook discussion forums totalling millions of users, like "Movie Character…,USA Story, Volleyball Women, Top Trends, Love Style, and God Bless." These posts link to SEO sites laden with programmatic advertising.

The funnel goes:

i. Create outrage and hence broad reach;

ii, A small percentage of those who see the post will click through to the SEO site;

iii. A small fraction of those users will click a low-quality ad;

iv. The ad will pay homeopathic sub-pennies to the spammer.

The revenue per user on this kind of scam is next to nothing, so it only works if it can get very broad reach, which is why the spam is so designed for engagement maximization. The more discussion a post generates, the more users Facebook recommends it to.

These are very effective engagement bait. Almost all AI slop gets some free engagement in the form of arguments between users who don't know they're commenting an AI scam and people hectoring them for falling for the scam. This is like the free square in the middle of a bingo card.

Beyond that, there's multivalent outrage: some users are furious about food wastage; others about the poor, victimized "mother" (some users are furious about both). Not only do users get to voice their fury at both of these imaginary sins, they can also argue with one another about whether, say, food wastage even matters when compared to the petty-minded aggression of the "perpetrator." These discussions also offer lots of opportunity for violent fantasies about the bad guy getting a comeuppance, offers to travel to the imaginary AI-generated suburb to dole out a beating, etc. All in all, the spammers behind this tedious fiction have really figured out how to rope in all kinds of users' attention.

Of course, the spammers don't get much from this. There isn't such a thing as an "attention economy." You can't use attention as a unit of account, a medium of exchange or a store of value. Attention – like everything else that you can't build an economy upon, such as cryptocurrency – must be converted to money before it has economic significance. Hence that tooth-achingly trite high-tech neologism, "monetization."

The monetization of attention is very poor, but AI is heavily subsidized or even free (for now), so the largest venture capital and private equity funds in the world are spending billions in public pension money and rich peoples' savings into CO2 plumes, GPUs, and botshit so that a bunch of hustle-culture weirdos in the Pacific Rim can make a few dollars by tricking people into clicking through engagement bait slop – twice.

The slop isn't the point of this, but the slop does have the useful function of making the collective ideomotor response visible and thus providing a peek into our hopes and fears. What does the "egging my car" slop say about the things that we're thinking about?

Lorenz cites Jamie Cohen, a media scholar at CUNY Queens, who points out that subtext of this slop is "fear and distrust in people about their neighbors." Cohen predicts that "the next trend, is going to be stranger and more violent.”

This feels right to me. The corollary of mistrusting your neighbors, of course, is trusting only yourself and your family. Or, as Margaret Thatcher liked to say, "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families."

We are living in the tail end of a 40 year experiment in structuring our world as though "there is no such thing as society." We've gutted our welfare net, shut down or privatized public services, all but abolished solidaristic institutions like unions.

This isn't mere aesthetics: an atomized society is far more hospitable to extreme wealth inequality than one in which we are all in it together. When your power comes from being a "wise consumer" who "votes with your wallet," then all you can do about the climate emergency is buy a different kind of car – you can't build the public transit system that will make cars obsolete.

When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about animal cruelty and habitat loss is eat less meat. When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about high drug prices is "shop around for a bargain." When you vote with your wallet, all you can do when your bank forecloses on your home is "choose your next lender more carefully."

Most importantly, when you vote with your wallet, you cast a ballot in an election that the people with the thickest wallets always win. No wonder those people have spent so long teaching us that we can't trust our neighbors, that there is no such thing as society, that we can't have nice things. That there is no alternative.

The commercial surveillance industry really wants you to believe that they're good at convincing people of things, because that's a good way to sell advertising. But claims of mind-control are pretty goddamned improbable – everyone who ever claimed to have managed the trick was lying, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA:

https://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism

Rather than seeing these platforms as convincing people of things, we should understand them as discovering and reinforcing the ideology that people have been driven to by material conditions. Platforms like Facebook show us to one another, let us form groups that can imperfectly fill in for the solidarity we're desperate for after 40 years of "no such thing as society."

The most interesting thing about "egging my car" slop is that it reveals that so many of us are convinced of two contradictory things: first, that everyone else is a monster who will turn on you for the pettiest of reasons; and second, that we're all the kind of people who would stick up for the victims of those monsters.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/29/hobbesian-slop/#cui-bono

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[putellasawfc]

pre-parental panic !

alexia putellas x pregnant!reader

summary: attending another game in support of your fiancée, everything should’ve gone smoothly. but chaos ensues when an ignorant security guard gets a little too handsy. (warnings: injury whilst pregnant, but nothing serious in the end & there’s a happy ending). words: 5.8k

-

it was another beautiful day in barcelona and you found yourself in attendance at yet another barcelona and real madrid clash, something you had come to love over the last few years of your life.

when you first met alexia, you had very minimal knowledge of the sport she had such an intense passion for which you worried would be something of a turn off for the blonde barcelona captain, but to your delight the woman surprisingly found it endearing and was adorably excited to teach you about the amazing world of football. and she was a good teacher, it only took you just over a month of knowing alexia to know all of the football terms by heart.

you didn’t miss the way her face would light up when you would get immersed into a match, whether it be her own or just a random one she’d put on the television for the night. she’d watch you with soft eyes as you gestured towards the device in frustration, complaining that the goal that went in shouldn’t count because the player was definitely offside, soon turning to alexia herself in an attempt to get her to back you up. she hadn’t even seen the goal, too busy watching you, but she nodded in agreement anyways. if you said it was offside, then it was.

it was at a barcelona game that your relationship was publicised.

it was after the championships league final, barcelona had worked their hearts out after coming back from being two goals down at halftime. you watched in the stands, beside alexia’s mother and sister on the edge of your seat. you knew how much this meant to your girlfriend and you worried that the chance to become champion league winners had just slipped from the barcelona team’s fingers, something you knew would take a huge toll on the ever so self critical alexia, and you hated that you couldn’t grab even a second with her just to give her a hug and share some words of encouragement, even if she wasn’t actually on the pitch yet.

all you could do was wait in your seat and hope that chances were made and the team came back out for the second half amped up and eager to fight until the last minute.

and that they did.

with patri managing to score a brace, and rolfö scoring another goal twenty minutes later you were on cloud nine by the time the final whistle blew, and you knew your girlfriend was absolutely ecstatic with the way the team dominated in the second half. you stayed in the stands with alexia’s family, sharing hugs and celebrating with the duo whilst you waited, rather impatiently, for alexia to finish celebrating with her team and come join you all.

you watched from afar as she lifted the trophy, taking as many pictures and videos as you could of the memorable moment so that you could look back on the special day in months and years to come, remembering how overjoyed you were to be able to see alexia achieve something she had spent countless of nights stressing over, understandably so.

when the celebrations began to quell, and players wandered off the pitch to join family and friends in the stands, alexia all but skipped to be with you, where she had been aching to be since that final whistle.

she pulled you into a hug, and you squeezed the muscular woman as hard as you could, hoping you would be able to convey every ounce of love you had for the phenomenal woman in the warm embrace. “so proud of you espléndida.”

you felt a puff of breath against your ear as she laughed at your comment, knowing you had been working on your pet names in spanish lately, wanting to woo the woman in more than just english.

“thank you mi novia, i am so glad you’re here.” she whispered, pulling away from the hug but still keeping her hands on your waist.

your heart melted at the sight of tears shining in the woman’s eyes, her emotions clearly beginning to get the better of her after a tough match against a team that looked like they were taking home the win in the first half. your hand quickly moved, almost like second nature to you, to wipe away a stray tear that trickled down her slightly muddied cheek, caressing the area with your knuckles once you had.

“i’ll alway be here baby.”

you wanted nothing more than to smother your girlfriend in a considerable amount of affection, but you were conscious of the cameras and the number of fans still in attendance, in hopes of getting a photo with the champions. you didn’t want to be the cause of outing your relationship with alexia, someone who was very private with her personal life and had made sure to keep you quiet in the public eye since you made things official.

you knew the fans weren’t blind, they’d noticed you, someone they had never seen before, suddenly attending almost every barcelona match alongside alexia’s family, always sharing a hug and some hushed whispers with their captain at the end of every match. they’d decided you were alexia’s new girlfriend a number of months ago, but with no real confirmation from alexia yet, she was happy to keep them in the dark with who you really were to her.

and so you settled with just giving the midfielder a beaming smile, ready to step back and give her some space to interact with eli and alba who were happily engaged in their own conversation as they waited for alexia to finish with you, like they always did.

but then you felt a tug on your hand, and you looked back at alexia with your brows furrowed in confusion at what she could possibly want. she only maintained eye contact with you for a second, maybe two, before her eyes drifted downwards and found themselves transfixed on your lips. later on she would blame the lip balm you had applied at half time, telling you your lips just looked so soft and inviting she couldn’t help herself. it was your fault really.

but for now she pushed any hesitation to the back of her mind, and leaned in rather swiftly, quickly connecting your lips in a sweet yet passionate kiss, one you sank into immediately with your hold on the footballers shoulders increasing.

it was cut shorter than you would’ve liked, but you knew alexia was risking a lot already by initiating the kiss in the first place, and so you didn’t complain, only smiled at the blonde who now held a flushed complexion to her face as she smiled back at you.

“oo la la, did i just witness mi hermana partake in some pda?”

the teasing voice of alba broke through the bubble you and alexia had found yourself lost in since she had approached you minutes ago, the playful banter between the sisters making you laugh as alexia pushed her younger sibling which didn’t deter her from making fun of alexia even further.

you were pleasantly surprised when you opened up your instagram later that night, just having one last look at your phone before you switched it off and got ready to sleep. you quickly clicked on alexia’s story when you noticed she had posted on it, and smiled at all the pictures she had posted of the day. her with the trophy, the team with the trophy, a video of her and mapi screaming in glee at the camera with confetti stuck in their hair.

it was the last photo of the bunch that sent your heart beating that little bit faster. it was a picture of the kiss, with a black and white filter layered over the top. you couldn’t stop the cheesy grin overtaking your features even if you really wanted to at the sight, your thumb quickly moving to click on the heart at the bottom right corner.

guess you we’re officially, official.

-

and now, two years later, here you sat beside alba once again (eli was too busy to attend, but had called alexia earlier with her usual well wishes), with an ice cold bottle of water in hand that alexia had practically forced you to take whilst she demanded you be seated in one of the more shaded areas of the arena, the protective mother to be mindful of the blazing weather.

the game went as expected, with barcelona already one nil up before the time had even reached double digits, the goal being made by aitana which had you cheering for the baller from your seat.

it seemed as though the early goal had set the tone for the rest of the match, as barcelona continued to score goal after goal throughout both half’s, whilst madrid struggled to score any. the final whistle blew earlier than you had been expected, being so engrossed in the game you hadn’t realised the clock had stopped at ninety-six minutes, the team managing to score five against madrid where madrid failed to score any in retaliation.

you knew alexia would be in good spirits after the win, especially with the no goals conceded and the fact that she had managed to earn her own goal and assist in the match, something that usually would’ve had you jumping for joy but with your newly acquired baby bump, you were forced to stay put and be content with just cheering and clapping instead - which you did with all your might.

everything about your day has been going incredibly, until it was time to meet up with alexia.

since you had arrived at the later stages of your pregnancy, alexia had decided that it would be best for both of you if you came to her rather than her coming to you like she usually did. then you would be able to go with her through the tunnels and into the locker rooms, remaining with her whilst she got showered and changed. the idea had already been cleared by jonatan who had no issues with the new routine, as long as it wasn’t disrupting play (which it wasn’t) then he didn’t care.

she argued that it was so that she was there incase something happened to you in the fifteen minutes that it took her to get ready to go home - usually it would take double that time but she rushed through her regime in order to get you home sooner, and you found her reasoning excessive but you didn’t say anything, finding it endearing how much more protective she had become over you since your bump became visible.

you made your way carefully down the concrete steps after you had bid farewell to alba, a goodbye that was only temporary as the brunette would be meeting alexia and yourself at your shared apartment so that you could partake in some well needed catching up with the younger putellas sister who had been way too busy over the past few weeks.

your hand clung to the metal railing that was helping you stabilise yourself on the way down, your other hand finding itself underneath your bump whilst you stretched your neck in order to see your feet and ensure that you weren’t about to slip or miss a step, not wanting to cause any last minute chaos.

though you wondered if that attempt was in vain, as you assessed the situation that greeted you at the bottom of the stairs.

a frown found itself on your face at the rowdy fans that were trying to get as close to the barrier as they possibly could, desperate to get a picture with one of the barcelona girls, some additionally holding different items they wanted to be signed. a few fans were even trying to push their way onto the pitch, something that was irritating the security guard to no end which was apparent by the angry lines etched on the man’s forehead.

you tried your best to ignore the fuss, continuing your journey to find alexia with as little interaction with the fans as you could manage. you didn’t want to seem rude, but you knew if you accepted to take a picture with one person, then you’d have a huge crowd around you in seconds, eager to get something from the captain’s girlfriend which would just overwhelm you and you weren’t just worrying for your own safety anymore. you did give a wave though, when they cheered at your presence which thankfully they seemed content with.

you budged past a few barcelona tshirt clad fans, and managed to take two steps onto the pitch when an arm was raised infront of you, preventing you from advancing any further.

“no fans allowed on the pitch.” a gruff and unimpressed sounding voice reached your ears.

“i’m going to see alexia, i’m her fiancée.” you gave the middle aged man a smile whilst you flashed your rather impressive engagement ring, expecting the man to perk up at the realisation of who you were and let you pass.

but that didn’t happen.

instead, he just gave you a look of pure disbelief, his eyes flickering to your bump with an amused smirk. “oh, and i’m guessing that baby in there belongs to her too?”

your brows furrowed at the man’s tone, not sure if he was too behind the times to believe that it was possible for two women in a relationship to have a baby in a way that didn’t involve adoption, or if he was just trying to call your bluff. either way, you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at his condescending tone.

“yes actually.” the man only scoffed in response, still not letting you through.

“i’m not lying to you, seriously. look, i can even prove it to you.”

you moved to grab your phone from your jacket pocket, with your lockscreen being a picture of alexia and yourself on one of your many date nights, you figured that would be more than enough to prove that you were in fact in a relationship with the footballer. and if that still didn’t help convince him, you could just call alexia herself and have her come and collect you.

you clicked on the side button of your phone, the screen lighting up at the action and there was the picture of the both of you. alexia stood behind you with her arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your back to her chest whilst you both smiled at the camera. you turned your phone around to show it to the security guard, who to your dismay didn’t even spare one glance at the device and instead moved to grab ahold of your arm in a less than gentle manner.

“look, i don’t have time for crazy, obsessed fans okay? i have a job to do and you’re pushing it, so this is the last time i’ll ask nicely. please return to your seat and wait for the players to approach. if you don’t i’ll have no choice but to have you removed from the stadium all together.” despite using his manners, his words were spat out harshly and his grip on your arm tightened throughout his demands, leaving you gritting your teeth together in pain.

“let go of me! i’m telling the truth, i’ll call alexia and get her over here right now and she’ll tell your herself that i am her fiancée!” you told him, fed up with his distrust in you.

it was then, that a fan who had taken the security man’s distraction with you as a prime opportunity to sneak past and run onto the pitch, accidentally stumbled on their way past, effectively sending their body barging into the security man, and with the speed they were running at, it wasn’t just a light impact. it sent the man, who still had his hand wrapped around your arm, pushing against you and before you knew it, you had landed bump first into the metal barrier that was to the side of you all.

the cramp like pain that spread throughout your lower stomach was immediate, and intense from the get go. you doubled over in pain, crying out in agony at the ache that was worse than anything you had ever felt in your entire life. the security guard who had seemed to clue onto his mistake, quickly released your arm and took a step back as if he was attempting to look as though he was just a concerned onlooker, but what he hadn’t accounted for was the furious blonde who had seen the incident and was fast approaching.

“qué diablos crees que estás haciendo?”

the man, who was beyond cocky and aggressive only seconds prior, had now paled considerably at the sight of alexia who looked like she was seconds away from pouncing on the guard, who could only cower away from her irate demeanour. you were sure the only thing stopping her were the fans who had all stood in a stunned silence at what had just occurred infront of them.

“l-lo siento! it was a mistake, i was pushed!”

“you shouldn’t have had your hands on her in the first place, bastardo!” she spat, before she turned to you and the fire in her eyes melted away leaving only a puddle of concern in its absence.

“querida, are you okay? how bad does it hurt? can you walk?” alexia quick fired an abundance of questions at you, you who could barely concentrate on what she was saying as the pain took control of all your senses, all you could focus on was the sharp stabbing feeling that wasn’t getting better anytime soon.

the panic in alexia hit an all time high at the lack of response she received from you, as you continued to remain hunched over with an arm helping you lean against the barrier you had been launched into, and your other wrapped around your heavy bump. she ran a hand through her hair, a clear sign on stress in the thirty year old as she tried to think of what she could do next.

it was as if god had heard her silent plea for help, as a familiar accent reached her ears just as she was about to crack under the anxiety.

“yn? are you okay? alexia, what’s going on?”

alexia’s teary eyes met ingrid’s confused ones, the norwegian woman trying to figure out what was going on, it had only been a minute ago that alexia had excused herself from the teams celebrations to come and meet you near the bench, where you always met. only, when she began to make her way towards the tunnel so she could get ready and go home to mapi, she saw you with your back to the rest of the stadium and alexia with the angriest look she had ever seen on her friends face. not a good sign at all.

“he hurt yn! pushed her into the barrier and now she’s hurting but, she won’t talk to me and i don’t know what to do!” the catalan woman was quick to explain the situation to ingrid whose jaw dropped at the revelation, her eyes immediately seeking you out to see what state you were in now that she was up close.

she approached you cautiously, as if you were some wounded, stray animal who might run away at the first sign of contact, and placed a gentle hand on your back.

“call the medics over, they’ll be able to give her a brief assessment and will tell you if you need to get her to a hospital.” ingrid told alexia, her voice carrying a much needed sense of calmness that was desperately needed at the moment, but on the inside the dark haired woman was anything but.

alexia nodded rapidly, giving you one more troubled look as if she didn’t want to depart from you, but she knew you needed help, now. so she quickly spun on her foot and ran as fast as she could to the bench, where the medics were still gathering their belongings thankfully.

ingrid watched her go for a moment until her attention turned to you, “hey yn, can you stand up straight for me? or is it too painful?”

your iron like grip on the railings had your knuckles turning a white colour, which ingrid took notice of before you shook your head wildly, all that left your mouth was a harsh breath.

“you can’t stand up?”

this time you nodded.

ingrid sighed, already knowing you weren’t in a good state when she approached, but now her heart beat wildly in her chest when she realised how bad it really was. she could only imagine how erratic alexia was feeling, god knows what she’d be like if she was in this situation with mapi one day.

all the norwegian could do is rub you back in an attempt to ease even a tiny bit of your discomfort, but in the back of her mind she knew any of her efforts would be a waste.

it wasn’t long before alexia rushed back, this time with the medics following closely behind and even a few more barca girls who had overheard the loud ramblings of their captain a few feet away, and had to come see if you were okay.

the medics moved quickly to give you a look over, they weren’t specialised in anything pregnancy related unfortunately but they were the closest thing the team had to actual doctors so you just had to cope with what you had until you could be seen by the real thing.

they tried their best to asses you without causing you too much discomfort, a task easier said than done as you seemed to wince and cry out at every prod or poke near your stomach, which is where they needed to be. alexia watched a few feet away, feeling helpless as she watched her love almost collapsing from the pain and she could do nothing to help, not even hold your hand and whisper reassurances into your ear as the medics needed all the space they could get.

rölfo was on one side of her, rubbing the woman’s back in some attempt at comforting the captain, whilst claudia stood on her other side, gripping alexia’s hand in her own as she nibbled on her bottom lip, all three of them watching your every move.

the doctors asked you a few questions, similar to how alexia had done earlier but less frantically. what does the pain feel like? can you feel the baby moving at all? are you able to sit down? all were answered with a shake of your head, and your nerves grew when one of the female medics told you she was going to check under you dress to see if you had any bleeding.

both the staff, and the barca girls built a human made border around you so that she was able to discreetly lift your dress, just up to your upper thigh so that she was able to get a good look, the whole crowd of you visibly relaxing when she put her thumb up, no blood.

“we’re gonna get them to bring the ambulance on the pitch, okay? we need to get her to a hospital as soon as possible, the quicker we get her there, the better. she needs proper scans and tests that only hospitals can provide.” the medic explained, her eyes locking with alexia’s damp ones, who could only sniffle and nod in response.

the whole situation was surreal to her. only moments prior she was on a high from the win with her team, three points secured and an impressive clean sheet was the best turn out for her. and now, her stomach was in knots and she felt like she could be sick at any given moment, there was no way she could settle until she was reassured by a doctor that you and your baby were okay.

“alexia.” your strained voice called out amongst the various voices blending together around her, and the blonde perked up when she realised you were calling out for her.

she quickly approached you, cautious of your still hunched over figure with a hand quickly finding it’s way to the back of your head in an attempt to bring you any comfort as her nails scraped against your scalp with slow and gentle strokes. “mi amor? what’s wrong?”

“just, need you here. please.” you told her through gritted teeth, “don’t leave me.”

“nunca, dulce niña, nunca.” her words came across firm and steady, which was an apparent difference from her previous wobbly voice, something you were grateful for.

you knew alexia would be losing her mind as the seconds passed by, the usual calm exterior she demonstrated to the public whenever she knew she had eyes on her had been completely thrown out of the window, any worry for how people may regard her gone as her entire body shook with anxiety. but the second you needed her, needed that steady presence by your side to help you breathe properly, it was back.

she continued to comfort you in her own special was as you both uneasily awaited the arrival of the ambulance which you were assured was coming as fast as possible. her fingers glided through your hair, her nails continuing to scrape at your scalp, gently tugging on any knots and travelling all the way down to the nape of your neck, before travelling all the way back up again as she repeated the same motion over and over. you closed your eyes and tried your very best to focus only on your fiancée’s touch, rather than the pain that still seared just below your belly button, a task easier said than done.

eventually the blue lights flickered behind your eyelids, and the high pitched screech of the siren blasted throughout the stadium, alerting the few that weren’t already aware, that there was an emergency of some kind on the pitch. the vehicle came to a steady halt only a few feet away, eliminating as much walking distance as it physically could for you. the back doors swung open and two paramedics jumped out, a man and a woman who sussed you out pretty quickly, being the only obvious pregnant woman.

as they helped you into the back of the ambulance, alexia clung onto you the whole way, refusing to depart from you for even a second as if you were her life line. her hand stayed gripped onto yours, whilst her other stuck to your lower back whilst she gently guided you up the two stairs attached to the ambulance.

the barca girls said their goodbyes, wishing you well and telling alexia to keep them updated, though you weren’t sure if the blonde registered their requests, her body language showing no indication that she acknowledged them at all, but they didn’t take it to heart. they knew she would get into contact with them when everything had settled, hopefully with good news.

now, hours later, it was just yourself and alexia sat in a dimly lit hospital room, you laid back on the bed with alexia sat on the small couch that she had pulled up to the bed so that she could sit with her hand in yours, her thumb stroking your knuckles. you were both enjoying the peace and quiet after the long and stressful day you had both just endured, one you were both glad to see the back of.

the doctors had been in and out continuously, after their initial tests when you had arrived they were in good spirits about the health of your baby. they had let you know that everything seemed okay, the only concern they had was the baby’s heartbeat which was a little faster than normal but they reassured you that was more than likely due to the scare it had when you had fallen into the barrier with quite some force. still, they kept you in just to be sure, returning to the room every hour or so to do regular checks.

alexia was still clad in her barcelona kit, captain armband and all, even after you had reassured her you would be fine for an hour or so if she wanted to head home, shower and get herself into something a little comfier. she had only given you a look as if you had openly insulted her, adamant that she should stay with you to be sure that she was here if anything happened. she would never be able to forgive herself if she had left and things took a turn for the worse.

“how are you feeling now mi amor? are you still getting any pains?” she asked, her hands squeezing yours as she did.

“nope, they faded off awhile ago baby. there’s a little pressure but it’s not painful, maybe a little uncomfortable but i can deal with it.” you explained to her as best as you could, smoothing your spare hand over your clothed bump with an affectionate grin.

she nodded at your response, knowing there wasn’t anything she could do except be grateful that you were at least no longer in pain.

“i was so scared when i saw you, the way he pushed you, my heart dropped into my stomach i thought i was going to pass out from the panic i felt.”

you looked towards alexia with a frown, noticing the far away look in her eye as she spoke, her gaze was fixated on the bedsheets you were laid under as if she was replaying the earlier events in her head which didn’t surprise you one bit.

“hey, look at me.” you pulled at her hand, jerking her body forward slightly so that she was torn from her never ending, doom and gloom filled thoughts. her hazel eyes met yours and you felt your heart clench at the clear anxiety still present in them.

“i’m okay, the baby is okay, you’re okay. we’re all okay.” you spoke with confidence, making sure she believed every word coming out of your mouth. “i can’t imagine how scary it was to witness what you did, and i know it’s going to leave you shaken up for a long time but baby, everything is fine. in a few hours we’ll be dismissed, we’ll be back at home and it’ll be like nothing ever happened.”

you weren’t sure if those words were the right ones, but you did notice how alexia’s shoulders visibly softened and the grip on your hand fizzled ever so slightly, so you figured you must’ve said something she needed to hear. the star player nodded her head, her eyes momentarily flickering towards the monitor that kept record of the baby’s heartbeat before they returned to yours, this time her lips quirked upwards slightly and you were relieved to see her slowly returning the light hearted woman you knew her to be.

“you’re right, mi amor. and i am so glad you are okay, you mean everything to me. i hope you know that.”

you smiled at that, leaning forward to plant an appreciative kiss to the woman’s lips at her heartwarming words. “trust me ale, i know. and the feeling is wholeheartedly mutual.”

her grin mirrored yours, and you both shared another kiss, this one lasting a few seconds longer than the one prior. this time when you pulled away, alexia’s expression had transformed into a more serious one, her eyes darkening ever so slightly.

“that security guard will never be allowed back at any of our games again. not after today, he’s lucky he left in one piece, if you hadn’t been my main focus i would have done something i couldn’t undo.” she spat, her tone filled with venom towards the man who was the reason you were stuck in a hospital room right now.

“well it’s a good job i was then, huh?” you nudged her playfully, “though i appreciate the sentiment, i’m glad you didn’t end up doing something that could’ve potentially ruined your career.”

she hummed at that, “well he should think himself lucky that you’re okay, both of you. or else he’d be dealing with something else entirely.”

you didn’t respond to that, only smiled at the woman who was so fiercely protective over you and your unborn child, something that you found incredibly endearing.

just as you were about to ask if she was sure she didn’t want to return home to get a much needed shower and change of clothes, the door once again creaked open, and you looked over expecting to see the doctor that had been assigned to you. but instead, your brow arched in confusion when a head peaked around the slightly ajar door, one that certainly did not belong to the doctor.

instead, the blonde looked to you and alexia with a cheeky grin, with what looked like a ‘get well soon’ balloon floating in and out of the room behind her. “lo siento, but when alexia told me you were okay i had to come down and check for myself.”

mapi explained herself, and you smiled at the defender who was clearly itching to be invited into the room by alexia, who seemed to be stuck between amusement and annoyance at the impatience of her dear friend.

“is it just you?” alexia asked, rising to her feet for the first time since you had both been here.

“um, well.” mapi’s voice trailed off as she pushed the door wider, the culprits who had been exposed tensing up as they were now revealed to their captain, and you had to hold back your laughter at their nervous smiles.

alexia sighed at the sight of her teammates. patri, claudia, ona, salma, vicky and even aitana all stood in a huddle behind mapi who had obviously been elected as the one to enter the room first, the rest fearing the wrath of the great alexia putella’s if they entered at the wrong time.

“dios mío, you guys couldn’t have just waited to see us?” alexia sighed, and you hushed her.

“it’s okay bebé, i think it’s sweet. let them come in.” you told your fiancée who looked at you to make sure you were okay with it, when you nodded your head in response, she shook hers at your soft heart, but gestured for the girls to enter anyways which they did in seconds.

“where’s ingrid? i’m surprised she let you do this.” you asked mapi who was busying herself by tying the balloon to the side of your bed.

“oh she’s waiting in the car. incase alexia kicked us all out.”

(sorry i am awful at endings but i hope you enjoyed this)

[ddejavvu]

heyy mei :)) could you maybe write something for lover boy james where reader is starting to get out of her comfort zone a bit and wearing tighter clothes that show of her little tummy pudge and/ or thicker thighs?? i’ve myself am currently trying to get to this confidence level and I know jamie would be the biggest supporter ever <34

as someone who beat the baggy clothes plague i wish you well on your journey my love <3 tw for self-image issues, don't read if you'll be uncomfortable.

You're already awaiting a dramatic reaction when you step out of the bathroom. James Potter never does anything by halves, and you know whether he likes your outfit or not he'll make a scene. Oh, god, if he isn't dramatic at your reveal, if he's measured and controlled and contained- well, that would be worse than if he wrinkled his nose and told you that your outfit was too tight. That would be an outright lie, and you'd rather him just be mean, although you're not sure unprovoked cruelty is a quality that James Potter possesses.

You haven't worn anything quite this snug in a long time. A dip in your self confidence correlates with an increase in your clothing sizes, not because you've gained weight, but because you're not eager to show off the weight you already have. You're particularly sensitive about the shape of your body, how it hangs, how it squishes and warps within tighter clothing, but you're taking steps to conquer your fears, and tonight you've chosen a snug leotard tucked into jeans. There's no hiding your waistline, which is something you're not accustomed to. Your hand wants to subconsciously cover your stomach but you force it into your pocket, stepping out of the bathroom with all of the courage you've got in your body.

James glances up at you as you come out, one sock on his foot and the other perched precariously on his toes. He's tugging it over his sole when he notices your tight-fitting outfit, and his eyes drop to your stomach.

You feel naked, even though the whole issue is over your clothes.

You get the dramatic reaction you'd expected.

He charges towards you from his spot on the bed, and channels his never-ending supply of energy into a truly extravagant display: He drops to his knees, sliding painfully over the hardwood to reach for your waist and shove his face into your stomach. You yelp at the sudden movement and try to shove him away but he latches his grip around you quite firmly, groaning into your stomach like he's repenting at the altar of god.

"Oh, gorgeous," He moans, and you're truly saddened for the theater medium, as they'll never experience dramatics quite like James has to offer, "Oh, darling, it's out. Your stomach is out, I can see it, I can-" He curls his fingers into your belly, nails pricking at miniscule threads in the fabric, "-feel it, I can scream into it!"

It's really a pathetic display. You can't find it in yourself to be critical, though, not when he's so effectively sweeping away any negative thoughts with the way that his lips plunge hungrily into the flesh of your stomach, over and over again complete with sounds you're certain a starved animal makes when it sinks its teeth into game.

Perhaps if you loved him less, you could hate this more. But you don't, so you can't, and you let James lift you from your spot, heaving you right over his shoulder so that he can still turn his head to the side and nip lightly at the pudge of your stomach while you struggle in his grasp.

"You look fantastic, darling," He gushes against your belly, beelining for your bed, the covers still unmade and very inviting, "Unfortunately, our plans have changed. Shame we can't go out tonight and show off your outfit, but I just remembered I have to kiss you until my lips fall off."

[utilitycaster]

this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

[belqva]

₊˚⊹౨ LOML [C.S.] ৎ ₊˚⊹

warnings: none, except for a lot of angst but oh well. the tortured poets department gave me inspiration for this so are we surprised?

summary: In the shadows of triumph, Coriolanus Snow, victor of the 10th Hunger Games, faces exile. Bound by a promise and a tender moment Coriolanus leaves behind his best friend and a life of endless possibility.

pairing: academy!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

word count: 3.3k

a/n: my first ever fanfic I’m posting <3 english is NOT my first language so if you encounter some spelling or grammar errors let me know! I’m happy to hear any criticism or recommendations and my inbox is open so feel free to share your thoughts and any requests 🤍 please reblog or support in any way you can if you enjoy it thank you!

You could hardly believe it was real. The moment seemed too surreal, too much like a dream, but the reality was undeniable. Lucy Gray, with her haunting song to the snakes, had captured not just the Capitol’s attention but their hearts as well. Even Dr. Gaul, who had initially refused to let her out, was forced to relent under the intense demands of the entire student body.

In that electrifying moment, Coryo and Lucy Gray became victors, and with them, you felt your world shift.

You were still trembling from the intensity of the past few minutes. Your breath came in shallow, uneven gasps, and your hands quivered with a mixture of relief and disbelief. Everything would be alright now.

You felt a huge grin spreading across your face, the kind that hurt your cheeks. Everything had worked out in the end—Coryo would get his prize money, he would attend university with you, and the Snows would finally find themselves in a better financial position.

All of his hard work, his cunning, his sacrifices—it had all paid off. It was like a dream come true, perhaps even better.

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting the euphoria wash over you. Memories of your friendship with Coriolanus began to flood your mind.

You thought back to the early days, back when everything seemed so uncertain and bleak. The Snow family had lost so much, their wealth, their power—everything had crumbled after the war. But through it all, Coryo had never given up.

You admired that about him, his tenacity and resolve, even when the odds were stacked so heavily against him.

You remembered how the two of you would sit together in the Academy’s courtyard, discussing your plans for the future, as if speaking them out loud would make them more likely to happen.

He would always say, “We’ll get through this, you and I. We’ll find a way.”

And you had believed him, because despite everything, Coryo had a way of making you believe that anything was possible.

You had been there through the the tough times. When they had nothing to eat for days leaving him and Tigris alone in that cavernous, crumbling apartment, the remnants of a life that once promised so much. You’d seen him struggle to keep up appearances, to maintain a semblance of dignity despite the whispers and the pitying glances from others.

But through it all, he remained determined, and you stood by his side, offering what little comfort and support you could. He’d never once asked for your help, but you’d given it anyway, because that’s what friends did.

And then came the Games. You knew from the start that Coriolanus would be an exceptional mentor, but you also knew how high the stakes were for him. Winning wasn’t just about pride or glory; it was about survival. It was about securing a future, not just for himself, but for Tigris, for the memory of his family.

You had watched him throw himself into the role with everything he had, determined to make a success of it, even as others doubted him.

Now, standing there among the cheering students, you felt that familiar swell of pride. He had done it. Against all odds, Coriolanus Snow had not only survived but thrived. And in doing so, he had proven to everyone—most of all to himself—that he was capable of greatness.

But you had to see him, had to touch him, to truly believe it.

The Academy space where the mentors had gathered was a cacophony of noise and movement. Students were on their feet, celebrating, congratulating him. You were seated in the back rows, and it was a struggle to make your way through the throng of bodies. You pushed through the crowd, muttering apologies and excuses as you went, your eyes scanning for that distinctive head of blond, almost white curls.

Finally, you spotted him. Coriolanus was standing with Tigris, his face lit up with a smile so genuine and full of relief that it gave him an almost otherworldly glow. The look of pure triumph on his features made your heart swell with happiness, if such a thing was even possible at this point.

As you drew closer, you could see the exhaustion etched into his features, the toll the Games had taken on him, but also the undeniable joy of victory.

“Coryo,” you called out, not too loudly, but just enough for him to hear. He turned at the sound of your voice, his eyes brightening even more when he saw you. Without a second thought, you hurried toward him, and as soon as you were within reach, you wrapped him in a tight, almost bone-crushing hug.

He held you just as tightly, his arms wrapping around you like a lifeline. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were the only people in the room, the sea of students and the noise fading into the background.

Coryo clung to you as if he never wanted to let go, his breath warm against your ear, and you could feel his heart pounding against your chest.

“You did it,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion, tears welling up in your eyes. “You actually did it.”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands coming up to cradle your face, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that had started to fall.

“I knew you could do it, Coryo,” you continued, your voice trembling but full of conviction. “I never once doubted you. I’m so proud of you.”

His gaze softened at your words, and for a brief moment, the stoic mask he usually wore cracked, revealing the vulnerable boy underneath. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice low and full of gratitude. “Thank you for everything. For being by my side, for never giving up on me.”

“Always,” you replied, your voice barely more than a breath. The two of you stood there, foreheads pressed together, savoring the moment.

It was a small pocket of peace amidst the chaos, a brief respite where nothing else mattered but the two of you.

You thought back to all those times he had confided in you, those late-night talks where he shared his fears, his doubts, and his hopes. You knew Coryo better than anyone, perhaps even better than Tigris. You knew how deeply he felt things, even though he tried to hide it behind a calm, composed exterior.

You knew how much this victory meant to him—not just for the tangible rewards it would bring, but for what it represented. This was proof that he could rise above his circumstances, that he could reclaim the Snow family’s honor, that he could be someone who mattered.

But as with all moments, this one couldn’t last forever. The crowd around you began to press in again, and Coriolanus was soon whisked away by more well-wishers.

He drank posca, shook hands, and accepted congratulations with a grace that seemed almost second nature to him. Yet you could tell that this victory had loosened something in him, something that had been tightly wound for far too long.

As you watched him navigate the crowd, you felt a swell of pride that was almost overwhelming. This was the Coriolanus Snow you knew—a natural leader, someone who could command a room with just his presence. And yet, beneath that polished exterior, there was still the boy you had grown up with, the boy who had faced more hardships than most would ever know.

You knew that this moment would change everything for him, for both of you. The prize money would secure his future, ensuring that he could attend university and continue on the path you had both dreamed about.

The Snow family name would be restored, and with it, a sense of dignity that had been sorely lacking for so long. For the first time in years, Coryo’s future looked bright, and you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that you had played a part in helping him reach this point.

Soon enough, a voice rang out over the noise, commanding that Coriolanus report to the High Lab immediately.

The summons didn’t seem unusual—after all, he was the victor’s mentor, and surely they would want to congratulate him in person, perhaps even offer him some insight into what would happen next. Maybe he would get to see Lucy Gray again, to explain what had happened in those final, crucial moments.

You watched as Coryo set off, his steps confident, his back straight. He was walking toward his new life, a life that would finally give him the recognition and security he had fought so hard for.

As he reached the doors and paused, he turned back for just a moment, his eyes seeking yours. He gave you a small, reassuring smile—the kind that said everything was going to be okay.

And in that moment, you believed it. You returned his smile, your heart full to bursting with love and pride. This was just the beginning of a bright and promising future, and nothing could dim the light of this victory.

Coryo gave a final nod and then turned, pushing the doors open and stepping through, leaving the noise and the crowd behind him. As the doors closed, you stood there, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment. Everything had worked out just as it should.

Everything was going to be alright.

You had gone home soon after Coryo left for the high lab, still aglow with excitement. The manor's grand halls felt almost empty, echoing your unspoken anticipation. You could hardly wait to share your joy with Coryo—just the two of you, away from the world's gaze.

You greeted your parents as you passed through the living room, where they sat absorbed in the Capitol news.

Your mother, wrapped in a luxurious shawl, watched Lucky Flickerman with a serene smile. Your father, seated with his customary stern expression, barely glanced up.

You quickly made your way to your quarters, jittery and impatient.

After hours of trying to kill time, trying not to worry about the worst you decided you had enough. Each second of silence, with no calls or messages from Coryo or Tigris, increased your anxiety. What could be delaying them? Were they intentionally avoiding you, or had something gone awry?

Your frustration mounted. You couldn't bear to stay in your room any longer. The adrenaline of your excitement had not yet worn off, and now you were driven by a mix of worry and determination. With no further ado, you decided to head to the Snows' penthouse.

You left your room and walked briskly down the hall, informing your parents of your intentions. “I’m going to see Coryo,” you said, trying to sound casual.

“Oh, but haven’t you talked to him already, dear?” Your mother asked, her voice laced with concern. “It’s quite late to be heading out.”

Your father’s eyes narrowed with disapproval. He was always stringent about your associations and activities. Relationships before marriage were forbidden in your household, and in the Capitol elite, it was considered unacceptable for a young woman to have a suitor without a promise of marriage.

“Tigris invited me over,” you explained smoothly. “We’re just going to celebrate. His grandmother will be there too. It’s just a nice gesture, really. An honor.”

The lie slipped effortlessly from your lips. Growing up with strict rules had honed your skill in deceit.

“Well, alright then,” your mother said with a hesitant smile. “But don’t stay out too late. And make sure to return before midnight.”

“Just be careful,” your father added gruffly, his gaze following you as you left.

With their reluctant approval, you stepped out of the manor and instructed your chauffeur to drive you to the Corso.

As you exited the car, the cool night air hit you like a refreshing wave, contrasting sharply with the heat of your nervousness. “Wait here,” you told the driver, hurrying towards the Snows' apartment. The street was quiet, the world seemingly paused in the wake of recent events.

At the Snows’ penthouse, you knocked a few times, your heart pounding with anticipation. The door creaked open slowly. It was Tigris, her usually bright demeanor replaced with a shadow of sorrow. Her face, streaked with tears, made your heart sink.

“Tigris, is everything alright?What happened? Where’s Coryo?” you asked, your voice trembling.

Tigris’s pitiful smile offered little comfort. She placed her hands gently on your shoulders, squeezing them in a gesture of uneasy sympathy. “I think you should talk to him. He’s in his room.”

The unease in her voice only deepened your worry. “Tigris, please, tell me what’s going on. I need to know.”

She sighed heavily, her voice a whisper. “It should be Coryo who tells you.”

Your patience snapped. You rushed to Coryo’s room, your mind racing. The Snows’ modest apartment, a reflection of their strained finances, was familiar to you, but tonight it seemed more forlorn than ever. You passed the grandmother, her stoic expression masking her own despair.

The door to Coryo’s room was ajar. You pushed it open gently and peered inside. “Coryo?” you called out softly.

He stood in the center of the room, his once confident presence now subdued. His back was turned to you. He was packing.

The ethereal glow that had surrounded him in the academy was gone, replaced by a deep, palpable sadness. He turned at the sound of your arrival. His usual calm demeanor was marred by a profound sorrow reflected in his eyes.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice soft and weary, as if seeing you for the first and last time.

You rushed to him, your concern overflowing. “Is everything alright? What happened in the High Lab? Did Gaul hurt you?” Even the thought made your stomach twist.

He took a deep breath and guided you to sit on the edge of his bed. Then he began to explain: the rat compact, the rat poison, the incriminating handkerchief.

They had pieced it all together—the cheating, the deceit, and Highbottom’s decision to offer him a chance at redemption as a peacekeeper. The devastating conclusion was clear: banishment for twenty years.

As he spoke, the world seemed to collapse around you. The realization was like a punch to the gut—a cruel twist of fate. Coryo’s life, once filled with promise, was now reduced to ashes. There was no solution, no fixing this. This wasn't a schol assignment gone wrong, this was real life.

The dream you had cherished was burning down before your eyes.

“No, this… this can’t be happening,” you whispered, trying to grasp the enormity of it all.

“Yes, it can,” Coryo said bitterly. “It’s already decided.”

You struggled to hold back your tears. “So, when are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow at dawn,” he murmured, his voice hollow. He couldn’t meet your gaze. The weight of failure and impending separation was too much for him to bear.

Your heart ached for him—this young man who had faced so much adversity and yet still carried the burden of his family’s future on his shoulders. The thought of losing him, of never seeing him again, was almost unbearable.

Coryo’s gaze finally met yours, and he saw the silent tears streaming down your cheeks. His own heart clenched with a new kind of pain. “Y/N,” he said desperately, “please don’t cry. I hate it when you do that.”

You tried to steady your breathing, but the tears kept coming. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m not ready to let you go, Coryo. It shouldn’t have ended like this.”

Coryo pulled you into his arms, letting your tears soak into his uniform. He held you tightly, his own despair mingling with the comfort he tried to offer. He hated feeling like this. Out of control. He couldn't help you. Hell he couldn't help himself.

You clung to him as if he were the only anchor in a stormy sea.

Eventually, you lay down together on his bed, your bodies intertwined. You traced random shapes on his chest, while he stared blankly at the ceiling. After a few quiet moments, you spoke softly, “Maybe I’ll be able to visit you someday.”

Coryo smiled sadly. “I doubt it. Even if you could, I wouldn’t want you around those district savages.” He said the last part bitterly, not hiding his hatred for the districts.

You countered gently, “Not everyone from the districts is terrible. Look at Lucy Gray—she’s from the districts and she’s wonderful.”

Coryo stiffened at the mention of Lucy Gray. “Lucy Gray is special. She’s not like the others. And she’s not from the districts. She’s Covey.” He clarified.

“If you say so,” you sighed, not wanting to argue. “Well, if we both survive, we’ll see each other in twenty years.”

Coryo fell silent at your words. You could sense something was troubling him.

“What’s bothering you, Coryo?” you asked, your gaze fixed on him. “And don’t lie to me. I can tell when something’s wrong.”

He hesitated, then spoke with a voice heavy with regret. “It’s just the thought that you’ll move on, have a family, and live a life without me. I won’t be part of it.”

Your heart ached at his words. “Oh, Coryo, you’ll always be part of my life. I’ll think of you every single day until my last breath.” You assured him.

Coryo’s eyes met yours with a mix of sadness and longing. “I won’t be the man who gives you children, who makes you the First Lady of Panem. I won’t be part of your future.”

The though of not having something that was rightfully his infuriated him.

At his words you were shook to your core. A pregnant silence followed.

As he spoke, you realized that your feelings for him—feelings you had tried to ignore—might not have been unrequited after all. The lingering touches and secret glances were not merely figments of your imagination.

Coryo was looking at you with a tenderness that spoke of deep, unspoken emotions.

Guided by an unknown force, you leaned closer, your breaths mingling. Your faces were inches apart, and then his lips were gently brushing against yours.

What began as a soft touch quickly turned into a passionate, fervent kiss. It was a culmination of all the emotions, fears, and unspoken words of the day. Coryo’s hands cradled your face with a tenderness that spoke of how much you meant to him.

Your fingers tangled in his hair as you kissed him with the intensity of knowing that this might be the last time you ever could.

After what felt like an eternity, you pulled back, both of you panting heavily. You embraced each other tightly, laying your head on his chest.

The silence between you was filled with everything that words could not express. Goodbye, I love you, I don’t want to lose you—each emotion was conveyed in that single, passionate kiss.

As you closed your eyes, trying to drift off to sleep despite the circumstances, you were acutely aware of every precious moment with Coryo.

You ignored the time and your parents’ warning, finding solace in his arms. His breathing eventually slowed to a steady rhythm, and you found comfort in his presence.

The pale moonlight streaming through the cracks in the wall was the only witness to this intimate moment between two young lovers facing an uncertain future.

Coryo’s arms remained around you, their embrace a fragile anchor amidst the turmoil.

As sleep threatened to overtake you, a profound sadness washed over you. You wished for a reality where everything had turned out differently—where Casca Highbottom’s cruelty hadn’t shattered your dreams. The future you had imagined with Coryo seemed to slip further away with each passing second.

In the dead of night, you whispered the truth that would haunt you forever, “You’re the loss of my life, Coriolanus Snow.”

© COPYRIGHT BELQVA 2024

SHARING THIS, ANY OF MY OTHER WORKS OR A TRANSLATION OF THEM WITHOUT CONSENT ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN !!!

THE PLOT OF THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME THIS IS JUST A WORK OF FANFICTION !!!

tags:

[satcrvz]

CHAPTER SIX: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DOG

navi

"what do i wear?" you ask holding up two sweatshirts that nearly looked identical.

nobara huffs before responding, "please just pick one, they look the same babe"

"i can't! am i overthinking? i'm definitely overthinking". you decide to go with the sweatshirt you were holding in your right hand. nobara calls out to you from her room, "he's literally seen you at your worst!"

you assume that she's referring to when you first saw him, when you found out that he existed. that wasn't my worst moment i was cute for a girl in pajamas.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

you and yuuji are almost to your destination, "you know you sounded like rapunzel asking to see the lanterns when you asked me to drive you"

"oh my god shut up i did not" you say in between giggles. he makes the final turn and there you are, yuta's house.

"oh you're just going to drop me off on the curb like i'm a whore" you say while unbuckling your seatbelt.

only his left hand is on the steering wheel and his head turns very slowly to look at you, "you want me to walk you to the door like i'm dropping you off for a playdate?"

"yeah kinda," you pause to open your door and hop out "it'd be rude if you didn't stop and say hi". the minute you heard him sigh, you knew you'd won.

you greeting yuta was a blur, you can't even remember what stupid shit you did because of your nerves. all you remember was a holy shit you muttered when you saw the entry way, to call it nice was an understatement.

currently, you were sitting criss crossed on the floor with yuta to the left of you. "so wait, you have all the games?"

"yeah! you could play the resident evil 4 remake since it's still kind of trending?" he stares at you and there's a short moment of silence before he continues, "only if you want to though, you'll have the controller, not me".

you give him a reassuring smile, "yeah that's fine! beware I am going to die though". he laughs and you swear its the cutest thing you've ever heard "it's okay, i can walk you through it" shutupshutup oh my god i'm going to scream.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"wait why are they jumping him. just make friends with them duh”

“yn, you have to fight back” the stress was very adamant in his tone. "i can't. i wasn't paying attention when they gave instructions. . ." you glance over to the chat to see a mix of yours and yuta's fans laughing at you.

he reaches over to grab the controller from your hands, but not without "accidentally" ghosting over both of your hands holding the controller.

you watched the screen and took an occasional glance at the stream. you figured you should probably figure out what buttons he's pressing, so you look down at his hands which were actually quite nice. no dirt under them, hang nails, or anything else, it almost made you forget why you looked over at them.

"there", he says while handing the controller back to you. "dude where the fuck did you go?" you'd ended up in a completely different spot from where you initially were. "hey, i put you on the right path. you ran like, too far from where you were actually supposed to be"

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"okay guys! i think that's it for today my back is starting to hurt, and i'm sick of someone criticizing me" you're staring directly at the chat while you say this.

"i wasn't criticizing! i mean i was, but it was helpful" he continues, "this is our first time hanging out and you're already trying to get rid of me"

"whatever. anyways bye guys!" you say while ending the stream. you bring both hands up and behind your head to stretch

"i'm hungry, i think i'm going to text yuuji to come get me"

"you don't have to, i can take you back and stop and get something, if thats okay with you?"

teehee... do we like?

my brain was cooking but my fingers were not. do y'all fw ihop? i might make ihop the stop.

didn’t proofread this 😭

tags: @saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyy @smashingdollz @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon

[hacked-by-jake]

I'm especially sad about the AI art statement.

No one ever said they can't use AI in general. Nobody said this. As long as they don't let the chats be written by AI they can use it for whatever they want.

Me personally, I'm a little fan of AI in general. ChatGPT took Googles place in many situations for me. It's super easy, super interesting and faster. I use it instead of reading millions of Google sites. (of course I don't trust everything right away, check your sources, lovelies)

But that's not what I want to say.

I saw no one complaining about the usage of AI in general. As long as its not creating the whole game and especially not what the characters say etc.

The critism was about the usage of AI ART, not AI in general, completely missing the point in my eyes.

And yes, they're right. AI became a huge part of our lives now. We find it everywhere and we won't get rid of it again. That won't happen. For me, it's okay as long as it's not used to generate money by letting it write texts and stuff.

And I'm completely fine with them using it. Of course, it's still stealing and I won't deny that, but as I said, we won't get rid of it again.

But the usage of AI generated Art is wrong and should actually be illegal. They, as a small developer studio, they should know and they do know, how it is when your work gets stolen and used by strangers.

And that's exactly what AI does. And that's not okay. It simply isn't. Every generated art is based on hundreds of real arts our there. The smallest artist who posts their work will be a victim of that. Because AI pulls it's knowledge and the ability for art out of every little art source there is. And that's wrong.

And I'm disappointed about their statement with this point.

And the second statement about AI art...

Yes, it's wonderful that you will introduce new actors to us. Great, amazing. And yes, we do remember how it was in Duskwood. And we do remember that actors were introduced after some time. Hannah joined in the last episode, and this was great.

But the huge difference is, you used stock photos. Real photography. Real designs. Created by photographers or whoever. The point here is: Real human. And real work.

I don’t think I'm the only one. But the first second I saw the profile picture of Ash, immediately I was like "Hm, that reminds me straight up of arcane"

Which is logical when you use AI generated art because the AI of course uses at first the most popular references.

Fact is: We don't support the usage of AI Art in Moonvale.

Question is: Why didn't you use stock photos just like you did before?

Everbytes answer: Yes, okay, we can change their profile pictures. (Point done)

And I mean, come on. Violet has a freaking cat as profile picture. Where was the problem with just using a real cat for that? Nothing easier than finding a good picture of cats! 😭

And if you didn't want to use stock photos. Have you seen how many incredibly talented digital artists your fandom has? Have you seen the insanely good work they created for your game?

How about contacting a few of them? How about asking them to draw the characters you wanted to have? I'm 100% sure you wouldn't even have to pay them for. Most of them would do it for free right away.

Plus: Real art created by real people

Plus two: No money spending.

Yeeey.

And if you don’t want that...., ✨STOCK PHOTOS✨

To be honest, they took a crumb of the criticism, twisted it a bit. Used the word AI, twisted a bit more, left their statement and at the end they gave us a small little victory by saying "They get new profile picture, see we're listening to you". They gave us a little "victory" so that we hopefully will be satisfied and not mention it again.

That's it for this topic. For now

[my-moo-moo]

cheerbreeding

The Seaside Storks’ journey from obscurity to champions is the story that will be remembered in college football history. Their meteoric rise in the ranks is not the only notable story coming from Seaside. The accompanying cheerleaders that provided unwavering support to the team also brought in quite a bit of buzz themselves. 

It’s hard to miss the Seaside Storks’ cheerleading team, not because of their matching bright cobalt blue uniforms, but by their bare rounded stomachs, in various stages of pregnancy. Yes you heard right, all of the squad was visibly impregnated by the final game. It caught some first time viewers by surprise, but you wouldn’t have blinked an eye if you’ve been following these underdogs since the start of the season.

The cheerleaders have been providing a morale boost to the footballers in an ingenious way. Multiple times during a game, the football players would run to the sidelines, bend the cheerleaders over and slip under their short pleated skirts to vent out their frustrations. A couple minutes later, they would come back out on the field rejuvenated and invigorated to bring home points for the team. They also put a new meaning to bench warmers: resting teammates would often have a cheerleader to themselves tending to their fatigue and warming their cocks. It’s rumored they would attend the training sessions to provide support as well. It’s no wonder the last few cheerleaders who hadn’t gotten pregnant began swelling up by November. 

Seaside does not hide away from their team’s predicament, instead highlighting the girls’ fecund bellies with their signature itty bitty pleated skirt and bikini tie-front top that barely hold in their developing bosoms. Their gravid forms do not stop them from fulfilling their more traditional role as cheerleader either. They manage to lead spirited chants and pull off synchronized dance routines just as well as any other team, all while flaunting their hypnotizing bare bellies.

One would assume that their scandalous public antics would draw criticism, instead they have captured a new group of audience who have gotten invested in the sideline steaminess. Excitement was built upon watching new pregnancies announced and pre-existing pregnancies progress with each game of the season. Seeing as the football team were also leading in the rankings, maybe they are onto something with this ingenious set up.

One of the biggest stories of the football season was the chemistry between the star quarterback Chavez and the lead cheerleader Holland. The hunky, almost 7 foot player was a beast on the field and an even more passionate lover towards the petite cheerleader. His intimidating looks turned into endearment with his tradition of rubbing her belly before the game and lifting her in a dramatic kiss at the end of a win. 

As early as the beginning of the playoffs, Holland, who kick started the chain of pregnancy amongst the team, drew huge speculation as to when she would give birth. Bets were placed on the birth date and details, with some even speculating she was pregnant with multiples. Anticipation surmounted at the quarter finals when fans noticed that her large protruding belly had dropped significantly, hanging down over the hem of her skirt.

Despite popular guesses, she showed up to every event in high spirits, all the way to the final game. She never left the sidelines cheering on the team until the final seconds when Chavez sprinted for a 20-yard touchdown, sealing the win for the Storks.

In the hecticness of the celebrations, neither the football players nor the crowd had noticed anything amiss until Chavez ran towards the scene in the sidelines. The cheerleaders were holding onto Holland who was splayed out with her legs apart. Once he made it to his lover’s side, Holland gave one final push, the baby shot out of her and straight into the quarterback’s hands— the same steady hands that had just clinched the championship. The crowd erupted in a second round of cheers, just as loud as the winning touchdown. 

People had no idea that the lead cheerleader was in active labour during the game. There were some in hindsight recalling moments where she would clutch the underside belly and steady herself against the boards. Our correspondent was able to have a quick interview with the new mother who explained, “Oh I was feeling consistent contractions since last night, but I just couldn’t miss out on the final game. It was after the halftime performance when my water finally broke. I didn’t want to distract our team who had worked so hard to make it here, so I clenched my thighs together and tried my best to keep him in. Good thing the baby was so big that his head was lodged in my pelvis for a while.”

The healthy eleven pound baby boy was held up proudly next to the championship trophy for the stadium to see. The newborn is in the highest height and weight percentile and fans are already anticipating that he inherited the football star's athleticism. Wouldn't it be a story of a lifetime if the baby born after the team’s first ever championship win grew up to be their new star quarterback one day?

When asked if she would be taking a leave from the cheerleading team next season, she simply turned down the idea. “Nothing will ever prevent me from being on the sidelines to support my boys,” she replied.

An incredible feat of athleticism was witnessed last Sunday coming from both sides of the team hailing from Seaside. The Storks’ historic triumph has captivated the nation, putting the small coastal college on the map and maybe changing the game of cheerleading forever.

[focusontheheart]

On the eve of FOTH’s release, we want to reach out and list expectations we have as a team. For the past year, we have dedicated countless hours into providing Horizon fans just like us with free content made with professional standards. We know not every romanceable character is everyone’s flavor; however, we ask that you remember they are someone’s, especially those who worked on the route. 

💟 Be Respectful. This game is a year's worth of dedicated volunteer work from fellow fans. Do not discredit their hard work by needlessly hating on another ship, narrative, or art from our game. This includes popularity polls that pit the devs and fans against each other, such as favorite love interest/route, or most common ending.  💟 NO Ship Bashing. We will not tolerate any ship bashing of the routes or characters on any of our posts. This game was made with love and respect for all characters and ships, and we expect the same from players.  💟 Do not spoil the game for others. Many players will have a different experience, depending on what route they start with and what decisions they make along the way. We kindly ask that you do not spoil a route or path for other players. To aid in this, please use the hashtags below so people can whitelist to avoid spoilers. The spoiler embargo on our socials (and any of the team!) will lift one month after release (June 24). 💟 Please do not manipulate the game assets for any reason. We do NOT consent to our assets being used for commercial purposes. 💟 No "Constructive" Criticism. Do not tag our social media or any of the individual devs with negativity or criticisms. 💟 If you do want to tag our socials with your hype, please use #FOTHreact and #FOTHcharactername (ex. #FOTHErend, #FOTHTalanah) for the respective routes to prevent spoilers for other players. 

We thank you very much for your excitement and support. We wish you happy playing, and many smooches for Aloy. 💘

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/10/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Long Post is Long. Cast & Crew Sightings; David Jenkins; Matt Maher; Clowning; Rhys Darby; Rosie; Samba; Max Trolling Reminder; Coyote Vs Acme Cont'd / Articles; Watch Party Reminders for Feb 11; SafeSpaceShip; Art Director's Guild Nominee; We Need to Be a Lighthouse! Game; AdoptOurCrew Choose Your Own Adventure; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Today's Taika;

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

Well as you can imagine, the David Jenkins IG is the big news of today. The clowning forecast has gone up significantly. Dad posted one of the late-blooming SaveOFMD banners in NY and attached Elton John - Candle In The Wind to the post. This song has some very specific significance to our fandom.

Apparently back when we lost Lucius in Season 1, Chaos Dad posted this song to Nathan Foad. Src @cptn_brightsky's Twitter Post

Now ADD to that... David Jenkins ALSO added this picture of Matthew Maher standing in front of a saveOFMD flyer found out on the street.

NOW OF COURSE, we are all clowning, but I think as usual Chaos Dad is trying to give us info without giving us info since the fandom pays so much attention to every little detail.

@saltpepperbeard has a theory that I'm down to clown with until I turn blue in the face. Src.

So yeah, as always take the clowning how you will, but I'll be honest, this looks like great news to me. It really does. CLOWN ON MY FRIENDS.

= Other Cast & Crew Sightings =

Rhys Darby's going to be at The Bourbon Room Hollywood next Friday, 2/16 at 8 PM PT.

== Rosie ==

Since doing cute stuff just doesn't stop in the Darby houshold, tonight I wanted to make a special shout out to Rosie Carnahan Darby, Rhys' Wife who has been active the last couple days. First and foremost, she knit a little blanket and hat for Samba's baby!

Second apparently she's restocked the Awesomeness Comedy website with more Buttons McGinty books and Comedy Special DVD's in case you're interested.

Oh and by the way, Samba loves the blanket:

= Vico Ortiz =

Tonight Vico was out performing with Them Fatale Drag Kings at their last night at their home bar Redline! Just some shots from their IG stories, feel free to check out more.

== Max Trolling ==

Gentle reminder luvs, if you're going to IG, or Twitter to troll Max posts, let's try to remember not to post OFMD/Negative comments on any posts that are celebrating underrepresented groups. We want to support those groups. Please note however, if you'd done it previously and didn't know, don't beat yourself up! We all make mistakes, just please try to keep it in mind going forward! (If you can delete your previous posts, great, if not, again not the end of the world).

== Coyote Vs Acme Cont'd / Articles ==

Why Deleting and Destroying Finished Movies Like Coyote vs Acme Should Be a Crime

This article is from yesterday but this blurb was pretty damn specific so I wanted to make sure if you missed it you got to see some of the reasons why Max did cancel OFMD.

"Some of the company’s tactics post-merger were garden-variety ruthless, like eliminating 87 series from its streaming platform Max, so that they won’t have to pay union-mandated residuals to the talent that created already-existing programs or pony up funds to produce more seasons of existing ones (such as “Our Flag Means Death,” one of the company’s most popular and critically acclaimed comedies—canceled after just two seasons)."

= Watch Party / Event Reminders =

Feb 11: Q+ and AdoptOurCrew Season 2 Live-Rewatch Party

Times: 2PM GMT, 9 AM EST, 6 AM PST

Watch Party Hashtags:

#OurFlagMeansBBC 

#OurFlagMeansRewatch

#SaveOFMD 

#AdoptOurCrew

= Feb 11: Relax I'm From the Future Watch Party! =

Sunday February 11th, 1 PM PT. 4 PM ET, 9PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#PiratesFromTheFuture

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

== In Person Events: San Diego CA ==

February 11, 2024 at 4 PM at Maritime Museum of San Diego

Costumes & Cosplay Encouraged! Location: Maritime Museum of San Diego 1492 North Harbor Drive San Diego, CA 92101

Hashtags:

#SafeSpaceShip

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

= Art Director's Guild Award Nominee! =

Sorry, I forgot to add this one yesterday!

Ra Vincent - Nominee for Half-Hour Single - Camera Series. Src: @AdoptOurCrew and ADG

Check out the Design Presentation: OFMD_s2_art.pdf

== We Need To Be A LightHouse! ==

Have YOU heard of this awesome new Monkey Island Inspired Point and Click Adventure Game by @blueberreads and @eldawee? They've been working on it for months and it's FINALLLLLLLY HEEEERE!

These folks are so incredibly talented! Please go check it out here! https://dawee.itch.io/lighthouse If you're using a MAC OS you'll most likely need to download an executable at the bottom of the main page. Just FYI! If it prompts you with the "you downloaded this from the internet" error just click OK. I already started playing with it and I'm in love.

I pushed Ed and he asked if I wanna do something weird xD Okay no more spoilers, GO CHECK IT OUT!

== AdoptOurCrew Choose Your Own Adventure Game!==

In honor of the s2 watch party with Q! tomorrow, @adoptourcrew did a really adorable choose your own adventure game on twitter today! They did polls and let the majority pick which direction they wanted the story to go!

Since it was a lot of pictures I made a separate post so you can see the whole story: @adoptourcrew Choose Your Own Adventure here on tumblr. Please check it out!

== Love Notes ==

Alrighty lovelies. It's been another busy day. Lots of clowning, lots of hope, lots of emotional roller coasters. I hope you had a good time and generally it was more positive than negative. I have a lot I want to say, but my brain is still pretty foggy. So I'll make this short.

Sometimes when things go well, our brain gets excited and then they overcompensate when we calm down. It starts to think a lot more negatively because it had so much extra dopamine for a time. When that happens, little things can be really devastating. I just want you to remember that we all make mistakes and YOU, you beautiful imperfect being are not your mistakes. They hurt, and we learn from them, but they don't define us. Try not to listen to your brain if it's telling you otherwise. You are so very wonderful.

Anyway, I hope that makes sense.

Here's a picture I found today I thought really applied to all you wonderful people. Thank you to all the folks who reached out to me and checked in and sent me love when you knew I was struggling (there are too many to list and I don't know if you want to be tagged so please just know how much I appreciate you). I love you all so much, and I'm so lucky to how found people who make me feel like it's ok to be me.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Tonight is once again animal themed. I wish I'd made that Taika gif last night for the lovebirds theme, but here we are.

[kynimdraws]

INFO POST

Name: Kylee (they/them). 30+

A totally normal Korean American mostly known for my drawings, specifically my Pokemon nuzlocke comics. But I will talk about other things on occasion because I do have periods of being fixated on certain topics. I also am a doctor!

Interests: Pokemon, League of Legends (everything except the game lmao), Fire Emblem, Advance Wars, Animal Crossing, Mother series, Korean history/culture, character design

General FYIs: 

General inquiries/commission work/etc should be sent thru kynimdraws [at] gmail [dot] com! Tumblr messaging/asks/etc is not 100% reliable

I will not follow NSFW accounts but I am fine talking/interacting with them. There may be suggestive shitposting but I like keeping my content on the SFW side

I am VERY picky about who I follow/interact with online. Fandom content in particular is a minefield for me aka I have many things I dislike and don’t want to see, even if it might be a popular thing in media that I otherwise enjoy. Therefore, I will unfollow/block/mute liberally. There are times I accidentally block a blog bc I mistake them for bots. So if you got hit with that, just send me an ask or email me

I am very open about what I like and dislike, and none of those things are a direct attack on your sensibilities. I have never gone out of my way to directly send hate or whatever have you if I end up seeing shit I don’t like. My complaints in my little online space ain't a personal attack on you.

My ask/submission box/DMs  are open for criticisms if you have any issues you want to resolve in private. No one is perfect and I may have done ignorant shit that needs to be pointed out. I have deleted or edited posts in the past if people tell me what I did wrong. PS I get that some of my stuff may upset you, but try to act civil when pointing shit out please.

I try to tag all my things whenever I can. Again, send me a message if anything bothers you. I am all for good debate but if you send me excessive hate or threats bc I have different opinions about matters that are trivial, I will block/delete them.

If you wish to use any of my hcs, please credit me. And if you are comfortable with it, send me the works so I can check them out! Or @ me if that is easier.

---

FIRE EMBLEM FYI: Specifically for 3Houses/3Hopes because I need a separate one for this franchise specificially given how many crazy things I got due to being involved in this fanbase via my fanworks:

DO NOT try to convince me to like or tolerate Byleth/student ships, ESPECIALLY the ones with the lords (aka CIaude, Dimitri, EdeIgard). I already summarized why I don’t like FE3H Byleth ships with student chars here. While the spinoff game FEW3H has now removed that teacher/student problematic situation, the fandom keeps putting the FE3H elements into the FEW3H fanworks (i.e. remembering Byleth from “another life” trope)...so no thanks!! DO NOT SHOW ME IT!!!

As for the Byleth ships with faculty members, my response is here so don’t try to bait me about that topic either thanks.

I do not care whom you ingame S-support. 3Houses limits the dating-sim part of the game to that character, so I cannot care less about how you play the game. The main issue I have is when people treat Byleth the “character” as a legit ship material when I personally think they are a cool character ruined by fans who are too obsessed with badly executed self insert otome tropes bc they self-project super hard onto them. Just to be clear, any FE3H or FEW3H OC/Canon >>>>>>Byleth ships personally. Even Byleth-sonas that remove the teacher/student aspects are better than canon FE3H!Byleth

Please don't drag FE VA statements as some sort of “gotcha” on my opinions like this post here. IDC what other people prefer with ship shit, that’s their problem and not mine. I am not gonna bother them about it. So don’t bother ME about it.

---

Links to check out:

Myths of Unova + Episode Grey (Pkmn White/White2 Comic)

Tales of Sinnoh (Pkmn Diamond Comic)

Art Site (Portfolio)

Twitter 

Instagram 

[mvltisstuff]

911 fic - A fic of y/n begins like buck/Eddie begins please, but the reader is eddie’s sister 💗

angst, heartbreak, grief, fluff too if possible pls 🫶

thank you ❤️‍🩹

mr. rager - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x sister!reader

gif from @tawaifeddiediaz

a/n: i hope i included all the things you wanted in there, apologies if i missed anything 🩶 can we also appreciate kid cudi for a few mins thanks

ever since middle school, y/n was told about how much of a dream life she had. she had good friends, good style, she was pretty. she spent a lot of her time occupied with friends and out of the house to avoid the chaos and criticism.

she’d been the youngest of the diaz family, with two older sisters, adriana and sophia, and her older brother eddie. at home, she was just the little sister who was forced to live up to her siblings. when she wasn’t home, she was y/n and only y/n.

for as long as she could remember, it was her and eddie. when they were kids, they ran around the yard and had slumber parties in the basement. her sisters would be out with their own friends, sharing their time together. as time went on, eddie grew older. it’s natural, y/n knew. she dreaded the day that eddie would want to move on and stop hanging out with her.

then, eddie enlisted. y/n was immensely proud of him, but she then realized that she would be alone. her sisters wanted nothing to do with her, and her parents just put her to the side. y/n almost felt selfish for wanting eddie to come home, despite knowing all the good he had been doing.

eddie had been in the army for a few years, and that’s just how long it took y/n to adjust to life without him there. she didn’t know what to do with herself. she had no one at home who truly supported her. eddie came to all of her sports games, all of her award nights, every single thing that y/n was a part of, he was there. she prayed that her parents would come, to be proud of her and to cheer her on, but it seemed that everything she did was useless to them. it was impossible to form bonds with them. her sisters basically said they wouldn’t waste their time on her, and her parents didn’t have time for her.

the sneaking out started freshman year. the drinking with her friends and getting wasted pretty much every weekend continued for a while. her parents rarely even noticed her, so she didn’t think they’d care about any of that.

it wasn’t until her sister-in-law, shannon, got pregnant and had christopher that eddie came back. he instantly noticed y/n’s change. her style, personality, and she became a stranger. she held a lot of anger for him, somehow. he was the one person to look out for her, and then he just left again.

eddie was in the living room of their house, christopher and shannon sleeping in the other room. he had a bottle of beer and was watching a spanish show on the TV. he heard the footsteps that came from behind him, but y/n didn’t care if he heard. he wouldn’t say anything, he’s done enough by leaving her in hell already. it wasn’t his fault. she knows that, but some part of her broken self cannot realize that yet.

“hey, you’re up late,” eddie speaks first.

“so are you.”

“it’s midnight, where are you going?”

“out, edmundo.” the backpack on her shoulders was clanking, signaling that she very noticeably had stuff in there.

“why do you have all that? what the hell has gotten into you? sneaking out and drinking, wearing that?”

“this isn’t a new thing. besides, i’m like a ghost here anyway. with my friends, at least i get some type of attention. i’ll see you later,” she argues, trying to end the conversation.

“no, i cant let you go out now, y/n,” eddie replies, standing up and speaking louder.

“can you be quiet? it’s not like anyone would notice anyway.”

“y/n, this is so stupid, c’mon-“ he’s cut off by the sharp cries of christopher, sighing when he hears them.

“why don’t you go take care of your kid before you disappear again?” she asks, and turns around, quietly shutting the door and running to her friends car. her words secretly sting eddie. he had to support his family, and he had to finish his tour in afghanistan. he didn’t know leaving would cause so much tension between him and his baby sister, but it did and he didn’t know how to reverse it. eddie went back to the room, picking christopher up into his arms and looking at shannon, who was beginning to roll awake.

“is he ok?”

“yeah, yeah he’s alright.”

“are you ok?” she asks him, not taking her eyes off him.

“i don’t- i don’t know what happened to y/n. she’s changed so much and i missed all of it. and i don’t think it’s for the better.”

y/n arrives home from her friends house the next night to be confronted with her family at the table. “y/n, sit,” her father breaks the silence.

“papí, i have so much homework i need to get done-“

“maybe you could’ve done that instead of sneaking out,” he cuts through her sentence, ending it. y/n’s eyes immediately dart to eddie’s, not breaking the contact between them. “i don’t know what to do with you, y/n. what happened to the girl i knew?”

“what girl you knew? none of you ever attempted to spend time with me, so i found people who will. and you’re kissing up to someone who’s leaving tomorrow!”

“y/n, stop this now! your brother has to work,” her mom says.

“yeah, i know. i’m happier than i’ve been in months, months! no thanks to you guys, i might as well be invisible here!”

“what do you want us to do?” adriana remarks. “you’re not the center of the universe, y/n.”

“yeah, like grow up,” sophia comments, in her sisters footsteps. y/n forced back any tears of frustration she had, not letting them see her cry like a child. they missed everything important to her, they didn’t care.

it was finally graduation day. y/n was free of everything, and it was the marking of her adulthood. her family sat in the audience, and she looked at christopher who attempted his own sign. the words were unreadable, but y/n didn’t care. she had a plan and saved up a ton of money for school, and maybe even an apartment, eventually. she stayed for the summer, but left for los angeles in the fall.

she attended university of california in berkley, finally wishing to settle her life out of el paso. meanwhile, eddie had been having an internal battle with himself. shannon had left for her mother, leaving him with christopher. his parents begged him to give them chris, but he refused. the boy needs his father, and eddie would never, ever leave him again. he decided to go to los angeles for a job as a firefighter/paramedic. he knew y/n was there, and maybe he could find shannon too.

eddie and y/n had become strangers, almost. she moved away after school and barely spoke to her family. a direct cause of their treatment toward her. he missed her dearly, longing for the bond they had as children that had faded away. y/n wanted to see him again, but figured he was still disappointed in the person she was without him. she forgets that she was just a teenager. their brains are all hormonal and such, but the true reason was the abandonment she felt. she hadn’t been back to texas in years, content with her new life and friends she formed in california. it was completely different. she was in control of her life, not having to be under the spotlight of judgement every day.

after his shift one day, eddie was brought up by his motivation. he knew if he didn’t fix his relationship with his sister now, they never would be the same again. it’s such a fragile concept. one obstacle in a family can have a domino effect over everyone. so, he picked up his phone and pressed on her number, even if it was late. it rang for an uncomfortable amount of time, before her memorable voice came through again. he’d been stuck watching videos and tapes of the family out of fear to push her away even more, but he was relieved to her her voice live.

y/n sat in eddie’s kitchen on his day off with a cup of coffee in her hand. christopher had been out with buck for a while, so they could have a little bit of time alone. eddie sat down soon after across from her. he sighed, disappointed that he didn’t know where to begin. “so, what have you been up to? work, you know.”

“it’s been good, i’m working with some of the best in the field right now. i got promoted.”

“that’s great! you like it there?”

“i love it, i’m happier than ever right now,” she smiles and looks down.

“it’s been so long, i feel like we have too much to talk about.”

“i know, eddie,” she says. “but, how’s everyone at home?”

“they’re good, have you spoke to them?”

“not too much. just for the big milestones like weddings and babies.”

eddie pauses, thinking about whether or not he wants to mention the elephant in the room. “i never meant to put you in the dark, y/n.”

“eddie, it’s fine-“

“no, it’s not fine. i thought that they would care about you when i wasn’t there, but i didn’t realize how bad things were until i got back. i don’t know why they didn’t notice when you’d get back hungover as hell.”

“it sucked but-“

“i just think-“

“dude,” y/n speaks up, interrupting him while grinning. “you have to let me speak.”

“sorry, go on,” eddie laughs.

“it was awful not having you there. you’re the only one who gave a shit about me. i never got a ‘how are you doing’ or a real appreciation. and i tried so hard to get their affection and i don’t know what i did.”

“so you came here?”

“yeah. and i found what i needed. i get told thank you and get appreciated by people who’ve known me for a minute now. it took 18 years for me to get that from everyone else. i was crushed when you decided to leave, but i’m just proud of you now. and i was too blind to say that years ago,” y/n spills out about her life, and portrays everything to him to lay it out. it’s off her shoulders now, and eddie’s here. she can forget about it.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i’m never leaving again, and i never wanted anything more than to see you living the life you’ve always wanted.”

“stop,” y/n speaks abruptly.

“what?”

“you’re gonna make me cry, stop it!” she replies, trying to hide her watery eyes, but eddie’s smile is clear. it’s mocking, but in a beautiful way. “where’s my little guy?”

“he’s out with my best friend, buck. figured it would give us some time to talk,” eddie informs. “they’ll be back soon, if you wanna meet him.”

“i already know christopher, eddie. i haven’t been away that long.”

“no, buck,” eddie tells. “you’d get along, just a hello.” before eddie can keep ranting about buck and how he’s trying to set her up, the door swings open to reveal the brightest smile from christopher and the man behind him. christopher has always remembered y/n. no matter what she went through, she was there for him and he adored her. y/n decides to surprise him, moving into the doorway and hiding behind a wall.

“hi, dad!” christopher says, walking over to him.

“hey, buddy! i’ve got a surprise for you.”

“i love surprises,” christopher awaits what could be shown to him.

“your tía is here,” eddie says, in a singsongy voice as y/n steps out into the door.

“y/n!” christopher says, trying his best to move as fast as he can over to her. she bends down to his level and pulls him into a hug. “i missed you.”

“i know, kid. it’s been too long, but i’m here now. i’m here with you and my brother.”

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi RTA! I was thinking about somthing the other day, pertaining MM and Harry and all the lies they tell. I thought, since you are the rumour expert, you might tell me if I am way off the mark here.

I think the only reason MM and H have been able to go on this long with the attacks agaiinst W&C, the BRF and the British public for that matter, is that whole "never explain" thing the royals have. I mean, we can go and look at the evidence we may collect, hearsay, what we remember or what we think, and we can come up with our own conclussions, drop them here and talk ad nauseam about how horrible something is (usually somethig Just Harry and the desterate wife of Mntecito do). Still.. is just guessing, most of the time. Because even if we have evidence of certain things, many of those, and many of the importnat ones, are still in a cloud of "truth or not". And that happens because the other party involved -W&C/BRF- do not tell us. Sure, they send a ballon to a newspaper with an ally journo, let someone know that someone close heard something, and so on..but there is no actual answers.

Take Spare(me) for example. Bitchy Harry whined and whined and whined for 200+ pages about everything and everyone. Sure, some people came out and gave their versions. But how about all the crap he said about William? About his father?

One of the main targets for MM´s venomous crap has been Catherine. How about her side?

I know this may not make any sense, but I feel as if, as long as the BRF is quiet (I trully believe in the silent treatment, grey stoning and the long game) MM and H will keep hurting our inteligences with more and more crap, and no matter how much we royal followers analyse and discover and defend, I don´t think there is an end in sight for the Sussex lies as long as the most affected ones (besides my brain cells) have to remain silenced. And how much are MM and H counting on that mandatory stoic silence to keep annoying and attacking and being gigantic pains in the brain for everyone?

Sorry for the morning rant. Something I posted on another blog led to this rabbit hole.

Old ask from July 8th

We’re thinking the same thing. The BRF’s “never explain, never complain” is why the Sussexes have been so effective with their attacks…and also why the Sussexes’ attacks increasingly have no more punch.

On the one hand, “never explain, never complain” means that the Sussexes get to control the narrative and be victims of the big bad BRF. As we’ve seen, it’s been somewhat effective.

But on the other hand, “never explain, never complain” means the BRF doesn’t react to provocation in the media. Which means that for the Sussexes to get the BRF to react and respond to them, they have to keep escalating their attacks and when they escalate their attacks, they also change the story of what happened. And when they change the story, they end up showing their hand that it’s all smoke and they don’t actually have real issues or real criticism, that they’re just doing all this for attention - the Sussexes end up undermining themselves. And as we’ve also seen, this has been very effective.

But the problem is that Charles keeps sneaking around “never explain never complain” with trial balloons designed to gauge public support for bringing the Sussexes (or at least Harry) back into the fold, which helps the Sussexes portray themselves as winning.

As for the BRF’s side, history will tell their versions. William, Kate, and Charles will have biographies written for them by reputable, authorized, credentialed, and respected authors. It’ll take time. It’ll take a lot of time, time that a lot of us probably don’t have and may never see happen. Once those biographies and retrospectives come out, the narratives will reset and the Sussexes will become but a footnote.

Of course the challenge there is whether the narratives will be the Sussexes’ version or if it’ll be the actual, recorded history version. I suspect it will be the latter, as more people go on the record as time passes to fix the messes Harry and Meghan made, particularly if there’s a divorce and if Charles wants to rehabilitate Harry’s reputation to bring him back into the family (note: small f-family, which is the private/personal side of monarchy, not big F-Family, which is the official public working side of monarchy).

Because after all, time heals most wounds. And if time doesn’t fix these wounds, history will, because history is written by the victor and the crown always wins.

[linkspooky]

Hi there, I was rereading your Maki Zenin fanfic (Tyler Durden and the Culling Game piece). I must say when I read it the first time reading it, the way you depict her mentality, emotion, and actions. It was so emotionally draining and at the same time cathartic as it reminded me of myself back then and now still (well minus mass murdering all lotta people). But also surprised me, cause I have never this depiction of her after Shibuya Incident. But over time as I look at your analysis on various characters and paid attention to her upbringing by rereading the manga chapters focused on her, I realized the way she behaves in the Culling Games after what happen to her throughout her life. She is kind of stable??? Regardless, even though she is already my all-time favorite character. Your depictions of her makes me love her character even more as I actually relate to her more and felt those similar feelings. But I'm glad she is alive and is doing ok near the end of the manga, so I wanna ask. What do you think about her character now since JJK is VERY close to its end? And how do you feel about where she is right now as of Chapter 269. Sorry for the long ramble, I might ask more lol.

Thank you so much for your ask! That reminds me I need to start updating my culling games fic again sometime soon. For anyone curious the ask is about THIS YUTAMAKI FIC HERE.

Maki's kind of a hard character to talk about because even though Maki is clearly one of my favorite characters to explore in fic, and I love to dive deep into her motivations and inner struggles in the fanfics I write every time I criticize her writing in canon a little bit her fans jump me.

So instead I'm going to share one recent Maki scene I really liked, and one little tweak I think would have made both Yuta and Maki's character endings perfect.

You're right, for a lifelong abuse victim who just murdered her family Maki seems oddly stable all throughout the culling games. I no longer think this is a Maki specific problem, but rather a Jujutsu Kaisen problem. Basically, post Shibuya most of the character conflicts in between characters are dropped so everyone can work seamlessly together as a part of one big team.

This is a storytelling choice on Gege's so he could eventually set up for the Shinjuku Showdown fight, it'd be impossible for everyone to keep jumping in and out of the fight if people kept stopping to argue and have interpersonal conflicts in the middle of it.

If your name wasn't Megumi or Yuji, then basically all your personal hangups, your self-reflection, all got dropped. Which now it kind of makes sense why the audience was yelling at Megumi for not being able to immediately get over his sister's death, like in comparison none of the other characters spend any time at all dwelling on personal issues because Gege needs them to move to the next fight.

I'm not complaining, I'm just saying this is how Gege chose to write his characters post Shibuya, most personal conflicts got dropped for story reasons.

However, there was one moment that made me really get on board with Maki's writing again, and it was a... you guessed it moment of personal conflict.

This moment where Yuta is bringing up the idea of body swapping with Gojo before the group, and Maki despite being firmly against it is unable to do or say anything substantive to stop Yuta.

It's the first time I've seen that yeah, Maki is still in fact reeling from the loss of Mai. It doesn't really show most of the time on the surface, but Maki's always been like that - like an island able to stand strong without the support of anyone else. It is her strength, and also her greatest weakness.

Remember, the last time someone she loved walked away from her and decided to sacrifice their body and autonomy so they could become a weapon for the greater good Maki wasn't able to say or do anything to convince Mai to stay with her and stay by her side too.

There's the parallel with Maki and Sukuna, that Sukuna chose to devour his own twin in the womb in order to survive and therefore gained a body perfect for sorcerery. When Mai died, Maki gained a body just like Toji's.

Maki carved everything away in order to become a true void, but unlike Sukuna she didn't do it by choice.

We know she wouldn't willingly sacrifice Mai. She begged Mai to stay. Yet, she kind of did choose to sacrifice Mai with every choice she made before that. Maki chose being a Jujutsu Sorcerer over Mai every single time, to the point where when it counted she couldn't do anything to convince Mai to stay.

Maki consumed her twin and became a monster like Sukuna, a true void. She didn't choose to do it per se, but every choice she made leading up to that point indicated to Mai that Maki would rather be strong on her own then weak together with Mai. That Maki is someone like Gojo, and like Sukuna meant to stand strong all alone. Maki is an island and that is her greatest strength and her greatest flaw.

As when it happens again and someone she loves is about to become a monster, she can't find the words to convince Yuta to stay with her on the beach instead of walking into the ocean the same way she couldn't find the words to stop Mai. After all, Maki is someone who chose to become a monster like Toji after losing everything else, what right does she have to stop Yuta from becoming a monster too?

How could she possibly stop him from walking the path she walked? I think it's telling to thde depths of her love that Maki who values being a sorcerer above everything else, would have rather had both Mai and Yuta stay human and stay with her, but also telling of her complete inability to express that love.

It's "You're too important to us" because the words "You're too important to me," doesn't occur to Maki in both cases with Yuta and Mai, because Maki is an island. She can keep going on even after Mai and Yuta are gone even if she doesn't want to.

So here is the one change I would make the Maki's endgame to make her and Yuta's character arcs perfect. I would just have Yuta not be able to come back from Gojo's body. Otherwise, Yuta being magically fixed after the fact makes that whole plot twist kind of inconsequential and as much as I love Yuta in Gojo's body it kind of just seems to exist for shock-value now considering how easily it was resolved.

Yuta not coming back would provide a consequence for Yuta defiling Gojo's body, and also in general give the perfect bittersweet ending to both him and Maki's arcs. They both chose to become monsters in the end to defeat Sukuna, and as a result Maki is standing alone at the strongest. It would also provide the perfect parallel to this scene with Geto and Gojo. You could even have Maki musing on how she was left behind again. There's a pretty big parallel to Maki and Gojo both being people who seemingly don't need anyone because they're so strong and self-sufficient and yet they crumble at the idea of the one person they've always been relying on walking away from them.

It would also parallel Megumi and Itadori as well, because the reason that itadori is eventually able to reach Megumi is specifically because unlike everyone else he refused to give up his humanity to defeat Sukuna.

You could have a really heartbreaking parallel of three generations of friendships broken apart by the Jujutsu World. Satosugu, and YutaMaki aren't able to reach each other and stay together, but finally by never giving up on reaching out towards one another Megumi and Itadori are both able to find each other again after the world and Sukuna pulled them apart.

I do enjoy this scene a lot - especially the parts where Maki seems borderline arrogant by insisting she could have done things all on her own and if they went with her plan instead of Yuta's then they would have suffered far less losses. Especially since Maki's not genuinely trying to chew Yuta out here, she just knows no other way to express her worry over him besides being hyper aggressive and confrontational.

It still shows that Maki's personality problems are all still there, she loves people a lot but she loves people from afar and can't admit to needing them but like I'm just saying we could have had THE UTLIMATE DOOMED LOVERS ending for YutaMaki.

[max1461]

I guess...

I've made some posts criticizing the mindset/priorities of "tech people" recently, and I think I've been a little bit unfair. I hope it's clear by now that I don't have an inherent problem with people who value different things than me. But I guess I'm just a bit salty about this, for probably a couple of reasons.

I used to consider myself a "tech person", when I was a lot younger. As a kid/early teen (in the 2000s) I started learning to code, and I wanted to either be a game dev or a penetration tester when I got older. I spent a lot of my time in online tech spaces, of various sorts. And I remember a different tech culture. I remember a culture that was... what's the word, mischievous? Unruly? People who wanted to take things apart and put them back together again, people who wanted to break things and reverse engineer things just to prove that they could, people who valued, I don't know what to call it, fucking around? And people who did not want to be told what to do. That old(er) tech culture is where I learned most of my left-libertarian sensibilities in the first place. I guess it was "hacker culture", in the very broadest sense of that term.

But the "tech culture" I see today, even from people my age and of my approximate politics, is just not the same? It's so fucking self-serious. It's not playful, it's not rebellious. It's about Changing The World (i.e. reshaping the world in the image of tech people). That's what I dislike about it so strongly. It's big, it's universalizing. It's not "I don't want the Man to mess with me", it's "I want to invent the new thingamabob that'll reshape everyone's life in five years". Not that doing that is necessarily bad, but aspiring to it is... I don't know, troubling to me?

And here's where I have to talk about rationalism, because rationalism (I don't want to generalize unfairly, but let's just say... in a lot of cases) epitomizes this attitude to me more than anything else. This self-seriousness so extreme that it almost feels religiously-inflected. It's about the whole future light cone, it's about optimizing the timeline. I just, it makes me fucking uncomfortable to be around that kind of talk!

[This post, by the way, was prompted by the recent statements of Balaji Srinivasan, which are another prime example of the shit I am talking about]

And, look. I want this post to be understood as basically personal in nature. Whatever my political or object-level disagreements with Yudkowsky, Alexander, Srinivasan, or any others may be, I don't need to articulate those disagreements with an attack on their Weltanschauung. I think it is valuable that people with many different sensibilities exist in the world, and I think, like most any other, the sort of grandiose and zealous sensibility represented by the 2020s tech-adjacent intelligentsia probably provides worthwhile perspective in various domains. But I can't help resent it a bit, because it's pretty much as far as possible from my sensibility, and I feel like I just can't get away from it! It keeps showing up in places that I'm trying to spend my time!

Ah well. I know this was fairly critical, and if you're a big rationalist light cone type of person, I... am sorry for being so critical. I really do support you in Doing Your Thing, at the end of the day. I just wish the general set of attitudes I see from that crowd could maybe be a bit less totalizing, and a bit more friendly to other sorts of people pursuing other things under other auspices. I don't know.

Now that I've said my piece, I'll try to be less passive aggressive in various posts.