#be queer strike fear
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Since it's Pride Month, I just gotta say this: Being queer in and of itself is an act of non conformity.
Queerphobic cishets don't want queer people to exist, precisely because we don't conform to their perception of what this world should look like.
By expecting fellow queers to conform to an imaginary standard and fit into a neat little box so we can all be the same, you're basically copying what our oppressors have been doing to us since the beginning by the book.
We're queer because we're diverse. We're beautiful because we're different. It's why we're the rainbow.
#pride month#queer community#queer#lgbtq+#queer rights#queer pride#we're here we're queer#be queer strike fear#dare to be queer
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All the tender, kind, nice, forgiving queer kids are dead, and their blood is on your hands. Now you're stuck with us.
#not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you#queers bash back#antifascism#protect trans kids#protect queer kids#protect kids#be gay do crimes#be trans do crimes#be gay make them pay#be bi let them die#be queer strike fear#transgender defender
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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Dungeon Meshi is the ultimate takedown of “there is no platonic explanation for this” off re: the level of love someone has
Both Marcille and Laios are willing to go to extreme lengths to bring Falin back to life. Laios is willing to walk into the dungeon alone and unaided to certain death for her; Marcille is willing to follow him and face everything she fears and hates for her. Marcille uses forbidden magic that would cost her life and her place in society to save Falin; Laios casts his lot in with her and brings the sentence upon his own head for the same reason. Laios plans to replace the dungeon lord make a deal with a demon to save Falin; Marcille is the one who actually strikes that deal.
One is sibling love and one is queer romantic love.
Neither is elevated above the other, and the choices and sacrifices along the way constantly echo each other. But the *flavor* of it, the nature of their affection, is written so differently. “There is no platonic explanation for this” is more for Marcille getting flustered at what she will be wearing when Falin is resurrected, than loving Falin more than ‘just a friend’ could. THAT is the way to differentiate something as romantic, rather than putting nonromantic love on some lower tier that could never reach the same heights or extremes.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#having aro feelings about latest fixation#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon
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drew’s lockscreen of actress!reader
masterlist | actress!reader masterlist
this is something a bit new— a sort of social media au / short fic based off an ask. let me know what you guys think <3
Though the video was a bit blurry and quick, the girl on Drew’s lockscreen was undoubtedly y/n. Wearing one of Drew’s button downs, her hair swept back by the wind and a smile on her face, y/n struck a pose on the beach. Behind her, the sun met the ocean, casting golden light that kissed y/n’s skin and bathed her in an ethereal light. The photo and memory was one of Drew’s favorites, and each time he opened his phone he was reminded of it.
He had just gotten back home to Charleston to prepare to shoot Outer Banks following his time away while filming Queer in Italy. Any amount of worry or stress that loomed over him about his hectic filming schedule quickly evaporated when y/n picked him up from the airport, her dazzling smile wide and voice like music to his ears. The two of them spent the rest of the day making up for “lost time”, the couple mostly sticking to the confines of their bedroom until they finally decided to take a break and make the trek down to the beach to watch the sunset.
The sun was hanging low over the Carolina landscape, the only sounds the lull of the ocean and the swaying of the trees in the breeze.
“Didn’t realize how much I missed these beaches.” Drew said with a sigh, looking down at y/n with a grin. The two of them walked through the sand hand in hand, swinging their hands between the two of them rhythmically as they approached the water.
“The beach you took me to when I visited was pretty nice.” Y/n said with a smirk, raising her eyebrows up at Drew playfully. One of the times y/n had come to see Drew when he was filming, he had surprised her with a day at the beach. The only problem was, Drew hadn’t researched quite thoroughly enough, and the two of them ended up hiking to a nude beach. Flustered and fearful of the prying eyes of fans or the paparazzi, the two of them had to hike all the way back to town with their unused beach gear. Instead, they opted to spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the city hand in hand. Even if the day hadn’t gone quite how they expected, they got to spend it together and that was all they really wanted.
“Haha, very funny.” Drew rolled his eyes playfully, pulling the beach towel out from under his arm and laying it down in a spot near the surf. Smoothing it out, Drew sat down before offering a hand up to y/n. With a giggle, y/n took his hand before sitting down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Drew’s arm snaked around her waist, pulling her flush against his side.
“These sunsets weren’t quite as fun to watch without you.” Y/n said quietly, peering up at Drew. He looked down at her with a grin, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose before burying his face into her hair. Y/n could hear the steady thrum of Drew’s heart in her ear, his fingers tracing gently along her back in a way that made her cheeks warm.
“I’m happy to be back.” Drew whispered into y/n’s hair. The two of them sat in silence, basking in each other's presence, as the sun drew closer and closer to the horizon. Suddenly, an idea popped into Drew’s mind, his hand reaching into his pocket for his phone.
“Get up real quick. I wanna do something.” Drew smiled, climbing to his feet. Once more, he offered his hand out to y/n, who took it gratefully as she rose to stand next to him. Drew stood still, his eyes locked on y/n and a cheesy grin on his face.
“What?” Y/n chuckled, placing her hands on her hips as she faced Drew. With a gentle touch, Drew shifted her over to stand with her back to the surf, the setting sun illuminating her and the beach in an orange glow. Without another word and a lovestruck grin still on his face, Drew picked up his phone and pointed the camera towards y/n.
“Strike a pose for me, baby.” Drew grinned. Y/n smiled for the photo, not moving from her position.
“C’mon… please?” Drew said sweetly, his grin apparent in his tone. With a groan and a playful roll of her eyes, y/n popped her hip out in an exaggerated pose that caused Drew to let out a chuckle as he snapped a photo. Looking closely at the photo, Drew could feel his heart swell. Y/n looked so positively radiant, so positively y/n, the personality and beauty Drew fell in love with, all captured in just a single frame.
“Are you done?” Y/n asked, tearing Drew’s eyes away from his phone. He nodded before looking back down at the photo with a grin.
“Lemme see.” Y/n teased, coming towards Drew and raising up onto her tiptoes to peer at his phone.
“I think this is the best photo I’ve ever seen.” Drew whispered, causing y/n to giggle as she looked up at him. Quickly swiping through his settings, Drew set the photo as his lock screen. Turning his phone off, he turned it back on to display his new lock screen. The two of them laughed lightly before Drew put the phone back in his pocket.
“My little model.” Drew said, pressing a kiss to y/n’s cheek before lifting her in his arms. She let out a giggle, perhaps Drew’s favorite sound, as he spun her in the golden light of the beach. With a sigh, Drew sat her feet back down into the sand, his hands still wrapped firmly around her waist as he stared at her intently.
Despite being firmly on the ground again, y/n swore her head was still spinning because of the way Drew was looking at her: his eyes so wide, scanning over every inch of her, the icy blue bathed in a golden glow from the sun. Y/n reached up, wrapping her arms around Drew’s neck and smiling up at him. Slowly, Drew leaned in and pressed his lips to her own, his familiar taste caused her smile to widen. Curling her fingers into his hair, y/n pulled him even closer, savoring the beautiful moment the two of them were sharing… and wouldn’t soon forget thanks to Drew’s new lock screen.
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x actress!reader#actress!reader#drew starkey x actress!reader social media au#drew starkey social media au#drew starkey x reader social media au
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𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?
𓇼🐚☾☼🦪 🎀🫶🏻💌💓
••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°••....••
Texas, Australia, United States and California, You are a queer by soul who lives by their own even amongst the crowded room, seeking something as distant and indifferent to what seems the same after all, but subtle do you fear the idea behind crossing lines, edges that drew scars around your borderline of heart the reason you easily withdraw the click and connection with places and people, you feel everything should be new as each passing moment because anything that stay longer bored you because you feed in daydreams and expect teh same dosh to be served outside around you, but all you taste is something different but not you.
Guidance : You are looking for yourself from within by blocking all the external settings and invites believing the world to be a harm to your existence throughout your journey down the lane to changing seasons and places so far, now you are just tired and tormented wanting to settle but truly can't keeps you restless.
Leo sun, Aries Rising, 8, Saturn in 9th house, Silver accessories, Denim Jeans, You brought something last week still waiting to be worn.
I see you are not only brain fogging but also bloating with overwhelming thoughts and emotions at the same time because you want but you don't, you don't but you want so badly, you have been guided to not make any decision right now, and not to hang in either, changes kept happening, but you are holding something beyond it did. It could be a little picture or a memory too, let it go to where it belongs it will harm you in the long run. Stop sitting with disappointment, disgrace or insult. Let that find peace within you and embrace these changes as a chance for you to strike this fog with the sword of your consciousness on if the very next second you would die, what will you do in the given second of the moment? Chose what is right, and needed for now that is how you lead life always rightly despite the wrong being gifted.
Netherland, Germany, Scotland, Denver & Amsterdam, there are eerie chills to your soul which plays chivilrious in the darkness and acts demure in the light, like a nasty kid you carry the flaws around the forest creeks but throw a elegant gaze the moment a eye flickers upon you, the mask of basking in solitude feels so enchanting enough to thrive through life beyond its hardship and pain, you take it as gift for the one who got none even sorrow becomes the only life present before.
Guidance : The ostracized child, who was not even a count nor in the quantity or quality leave the first and last of being a choice but never an part of any option to even begin with? I feel you started to heal enough that you understand the value of pain you received so far and treat it exactly right that it has become your that safe home which strengthens you instead to tame, instead of guidance your spirit guides have messages 'That, we really appreciate your pure heart and acknowledge your being of existence as of great as of the any other living, we are around you, when you believe you are lucky enough after seeing something weird l, quirky and unique because that is who you are and we show up there'
Fox teddy, bear, herbivores, cozy vibes, brown eyes, eyeglasses, Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Venus or sun, writing a novel or blog, secret lover.
Paris, France, Italy, London, Russia and South Korea, What beauty of it doesn't scares a bit right? It took you a trail blaze or ages to burn down and pave one path for you that fire runs through your body despite the sickness you feel in your heart and fatigue you carry on your soul, the more you get tested the more pure you mold into the miracles and become the magic itself, you accept the essence of love, that sets free, wild and at the arms of death where one can love so truly to the depths of each feels and moves of life.
Guidance : Okay, so this pile has been through a lot bodily or mentally the sickness which prolonged seems like a default, or your mistake or an accident which made you be on bed for rest and feel this helplessness from the echoes of the room and beyond the sky where slowly you discovered and connected to your soul and learned the ultimate truth of being all that you need to yourself exactly when you need yourself.
'Hey, sorry to interrupt I am just worried and kind off ..sorry again how are you? I hope you are doing well now, I promise I am on my way please, kindly don't give upon me, for that I have not yet arrived into your life, all the lovers you met were the lie you told yourself to hold yourself tight in your head, but let go the grudge and find me within your heart whenever you look into the mirror with those doe eyes, those two flicks of your hair curls around you ear I did kiss those cheeks with freckles and toughened skin, I did hold you like the witch who carries her wretched wand in her power and strength, I love you, can you hear that, I say that everyday before you sleep'
Well, that was tear jerking right? Give me a second.
Important Updated my services list do check (;
#Spotify#divine feminine#divination#divine guidance#pyschic reading#gratitude#intutive reading#pick a pile#pick a image#pick a card#free tarot reading#tarot cards#witchy#happy winter
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i am just so sad right now. like going into s8 i didn’t think bucktommy would be endgame, but the way s8 started changed my mind, so to have them be literally so in love for 5 episodes straight just to have them break up in the most abrupt way?? it just feels so last minute which is shocking because in the interviews this was apparently a planned thing but it doesn’t feel like it at all. Like if this was a concern Tommy had why didn’t it come up at all? like little throwaway lines of Tommy making jokes of Buck getting sick of him or wanted to explore other options or whatever. I hope the backlash makes them rethink, and Tommy comes back but for now it doesn’t seem like it. I guess my only hope is that Buddie goes canon, but even then i won’t be able to really enjoy it. I seriously don’t know if i’ll be able to keep watching the show, not solely because they broke up, but because of how they broke up. (srry for the long ask, just needed to vent)
no apologies needed!
at the end of the day, so many of us found joy in their story, their chemistry, the way even up until the final second tommy admitted that what he wanted with buck was something that would inevitably break his heart.
they were good together. tommy fit into so many intimidating parts of buck's life with ease. tommy is (as far as we know) still good friends with buck's best friend! tommy loved him anyway, loved him warts and all, road shotgun to buck's worst fears and weirdest conspiracies.
at the end of the day, we have a few things:
we GOT them. we got to see them together, we got the soft looks, we got the kisses, the foundation of them that is real and canon in a way we could strike like a match against the edge of a box to light them up for real all over again. i don't think "being canon" gives any credence or superiority to a ship, and have shipped people or characters that have never interacted/existed together in a tangible way, simply because it's FUN. that's how i'll always have fun with ships and fandom, BUT! what a wonderful thing to celebrate that we DID have them, that we have this as a foundation for whatever comes next, that there is never a door permanently closed to them finding each other again when it was already real from the start
for a lot of us, this isn't how their story ends. it's insane that so much fic and content was produced for a canon ship like this. so often fandom is chasing down the what-ifs and never-hads. a lot of us invested in bucktommy because they had the compatibility, the fit, the chemistry, the potential. that's novel shit! that doesn't just evaporate because they broke up in canon. it certainly hurts. the kind of hype we were surfing will crash and sink back in the oncoming months, but i know talking to a lot of people tonight that we aren't done with this ship. we aren't ready to say goodbye.
i'm sad. i'm angry. i felt a real sense of queer euphoria whenever i saw them together, even for 30 seconds, teetering on the edge of this new couple joy learning each other into something new and weird and fun that always lingered as a promise on the edge of their interactions. i was so excited for who buck could become with tommy as his home base. shifting that has rocked me in a bad way.
i expect people to inevitably step away from this ship and this fandom, but i'll mention that non-canon ships like arthur/eames or mcshep or social network rpf or short-lived shows from 1996 (hi sentinel) have had long-lived fandoms and left long-lasting impressions in other fandoms that have lasted for over a decade of zero additional content. this is a playground that, just because they've parted ways for now, we don't have to stop playing in.
and i'll be honest: i have several WIPs i'm like, well trash that! after watching the most recent episode. but i also have a dozen new ideas. new ways they could fall in love now or again, new ways they could meet, new ways they could be for each other.
i'll keep creating. i'll keep dreaming. they won't ever not have the spark that they had. the show could end tomorrow but we'll always have an open door to believing and shaping the thousands of ways they can and will find each other again.
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Whoever you ship Mizu with, it is ultimately gay as fuck.
Mizu and Akemi? That's just two angry wlw's haunted by the image of one another who have been pushed into different but mirroring paths that will one day intertwine, and their anger and regret will balloon into a terrifying clash. Violent? Yes. Passionate? Extremely. Sexual Tension? Nuclear-level.
Mizu and Taigen? Mizu didn't really mind the other acts of sex in Madame Kaji's brothel until she got to the dudes fuckin, and her immediate thought was how close Taigen and his lips were during their tumble in their duel. It's very clear Mizu sees her relationship with Taigen as homoerotic, and has shown some interest in it. That's just trans masc x bottom bi, baby.
Mizu, Taigen and Akemi?
So. Fucking. G A Y.
There ain't no cis-het reading of Blue Eye Samurai, bucko. This shit's the purest crystal queer in the market. It ain't cloudy. It ain't distilled.
This show is raw, uncut Mizumphetamine. Mizu is the chemicals injected into the water that's making the freaking fags frogs gay.
Mizu's the baddest bitch around. Be in awe of this undying fuck's energy. She is 2023's top bitch magnet. She doesn't get bitches. She pins them down, strikes the fear of her in them, and wields a fucking sword made to slaughter the heavens.
#blue eye samurai#mizu#mizu blue eye samurai#taigen#akemi#i lost my mind again#i watched it again#blue eye samurai has consumed my very being#the sheer thirst this beast of a warrior generated was enough to conjure up a second season#no one does it like mizu#goated show#goated mc#we won with her#mizu is gender#us gays stay winning we gon get arcane and castlevania and fionna & cake and dragon prince#blue eye samurai is just purified queer wrath we fucking got it
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*twirling my hair* do you have some good yuri manga recs?
(lying on my stomach and kicking my feet) i'm SO glad you asked!
to preface this i'll be excluding better-known yuri or yuri that's recently gotten its flowers (whether thru virality or adaptations) (e.g. in love with the villainess, love bullet, bloom into you, etc. etc.) and will instead be recc'ing works i don't often encounter in the wild. some will be more well-known than others, but all of these i've enjoyed and would encourage others to check out! under the cut because. this got. so long. i heart yuri <3
multi-chapter
the princess of sylph (ongoing; self-publishing): plot-heavy fantasy yuri between a bereaved princess with the aura of a thousand sad hamsters and a persistent nun whose silliness conceals a deep well of trauma. gushed about it plenty here. i recommend starting with the serialized version, the proceeding to the twitter version + extras. cw: blood, violence, dismemberment (nothing too graphic, more standard monster-fighting fare).
i love amy (completed): school loner strikes an unlikely friendship with the girl known (and feared) for her violent tendencies and single-minded obsession with the school prince. cute but striking and skilled art with a surprisingly nuanced handling of trauma and neurodivergence. cw: attempted child murder, animal death (non-graphic). there are also depictions of standard yandere fare (kidnapping, torture basements) but they're always presented comedically.
i see you, aizawa-san! (ongoing): girl who steadfastly pretends not to see ghosts meets one she just can't seem to ignore: a deceased classmate and former j-pop idol, who has taken to haunting their classroom. ft. art that harkens back to classic shoujo and a supernatural mystery centred on the relationship between the two leads--that one of them can't seem to remember. cw: blood, body horror.
school zone girls (on hiatus): slice of life yuri comedy ft. a massive interconnected web of girls spanning at least three schools. it juggles gut-busting comedy with genuine heartfelt moments of character growth and connection and expresses it all through a solid, dynamic art style. the sprawling cast also makes for incredible outsider pov moments that lets us really appreciate how far some characters have gotten. this genuinely motivated me to revamp how i approached ensemble casts for my ocs.
brides of iberis (completed): wedding planner unenthusiastic about her engagement falls in love with a bride she's taken as a client. bittersweet but deeply loving; and so compassionate to each and every character, even the men the female leads have relationships with. cw: infidelity.
destroy it all and love me in hell! (ongoing): model student finds her miserable, tightly controlled life unraveling after being blackmailed by the class truant into indulging her ugliest impulses. toxic yuri extravaganza eleganza between two girls desperate for escape and the catharsis of fucking! shit! up!!! also hits that sweet sweet "love triangle as a conflict of ideals" beat. cw: blackmail, coercion, bullying, violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, adult/minor relationship.
yuri is forbidden for the yuri otaku (completed): passionate himejoshi enrolls in an all-girls private school to observe class s yuri in action, but never to engage in it herself--at least, until a misunderstanding wins her the resident gyaru's heart. a surprisingly poignant exploration of being queer in a repressive society and experiencing your queerness through the safety of unobtainable fantasy.
the superstar idol crushes on me today too (ongoing): failed idol-slash-middling radio personality finds an unwanted superfan in the country's biggest superstar. explores the merit of pursuing your artistic passions in the face of repeated failure, and what makes an emotional anchor in the fraught seas of showbiz. they are also just so so funny. what if i emphatically declare you my rival in show business but you've been in love with me since you saw me in a cooking show as a child actor and you take any excuse to spend time with me and have my attention with blinding enthusiasm
normality and monsters (ongoing): outcast weirdo witnesses the class idol devour their homeroom teacher in one bite and begs to be trained in the art of appearing normal. the art is snappy and charismatic, the monster design is properly grotesque, and the friendship of convenience between the two leads teeters between overcoming the monster's nature and just being a prelude to the monster acquiring a new meatsuit. cw: blood, gore, death, body horror.
a monster wants to eat me (ongoing): suicidal girl meets carnivore mermaid who promises to eat her if she develops a desire to live. it's been a while since i read this one, but the monster designs are once again sick as fuck and the drama of being cared for by a creature that finds you tantalizing is sooo juicy. cw: suicidal ideation, blood, gore, violence, body horror.
liar satsuki can see death (completed): high schooler who can see corpses before the death occurs strives to save as many lives as possible despite being branded a liar by the entire student body. this and ryouko's other manga, a walk to death, are pretty banging declarations on the value of living ironically (or maybe aptly) wrapped in so much death. blanket cw for blood, gore and death bc i tell you every mini-arc somebody dies in a fun new way and we'd be here all day if we listed them out.
anthology:
i'm the villainess but i'm being captured by the heroine?!: an anthology featuring heroines of otome games swerving hard and sweeping the villainess off her feet. i am such a sucker for villainess yuri. mean women forever. my favourite chapters are vol. 1 ch.1 and vol. 2 chs. 1 and 4.
honourable mentions:
my idol sits the next desk over! (completed): loner idol otaku ends up deskmates with her oshi and between jealous sabotage from a rival stan and the herculean task of acting normal around your fave, lands herself in the first and closest friend group of her life. one girl does explicitly have romantic feelings for another girl, but i bumped it down here because it isn't explored to the extent it could have been. it felt like it was setting up a slow burn only to end abruptly. do not recommend if you want a love story, do recommend if you want lonely people forging deep and enduring bonds of friendship.
the one within the villainess (ongoing): the villainess of an otome game reawakens for her condemnation and sets off on a path of vengeance for the sake of the beloved transmigrator who's occupied her body for years. it's ostensibly het, but to hear the way that the villainess speaks of her transmigrator, the first person to love her wholeheartedly and wish for her happiness and so inadvertently prevent her from becoming the hollow bitter woman she originally grew into...... like. that is yuri. like what if i knew your life in its entirety and loved you for it and i found myself in the position to give you the happiness i always wished for you to have. what if we wrote fix-it fic for each other on the fabric of the universe. what if we never even had a conversation but we knew each other the best and loved each other most. and we were both girls. do you understand why i'm insane about them. cw: blood, gore, violence.
#asks#manga#manga recommendations#yuri#please feel free to tell me if i missed any cws since i'm not usually someone who needs them#the superstar idol is like mayakuro if the rivalry was one-sided and maya was twice as open abt her claudine obsession#as i'm answering this i realize quite a bit has piled up in my inbox. i will. get to that#i waffled abt adding otherside picnic but i figured it's got a decent presence. but if u haven't heard of it and u like supernatural yuri#others i didn't add are: office romance ayaka loves hiroko; highschool makeover romance useless princesses (too long since i read it);#genderbender boyfriend sometimes girlfriend (too few chs out to judge how it handles gender n sexuality but rlly cute getting together);#highschool makeover romance 2 i was confessed to by my beautiful oshi#please tell me if you read any of these n what you think! i'd love to chat n i can't keep bombarding my one friend who'll listen#mine
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Eddie knows he shouldn't be doing this. He knows the risk, he knows the danger, he knows how stupid it is. But the thing is, he's never been good at avoiding risks or not being stupid. So here he is, pressing Ray against the wall of the Hideout, because he's five beers and three tequila shots in, and he wants it, no, he needs it, he needs to feel something to make that gnawing feeling in his chest go away, and Ray is available and willing and honestly not too bad considering the size of the queer dating pool around a town like Hawkins.
'Eddie.' Ray pulls back in a somewhat half-hearted attempt to slow him down. 'We're not at some gay club in Indy, man, you shouldn't –'
'Shouldn't I?' Eddie interrupts him. 'What if I don't care that we're not in Indy?' His lips find Ray's again, and Ray doesn't make any other attempts to cease what they're doing, so he supposes it's all good and presses his whole body as close to Ray's as he possibly can. He's swaying on his feet a little bit and his head is spinning, but Ray's arms around his back are keeping him steady enough – until a sudden blow lands against his shoulder and he finds himself stumbling backwards.
Fuck. He should've known, of course. Something about not taking risks, right?
‘The hell are you doing, freak?’
He blinks rapidly to get the blurry blonde-haired face opposite him into his focus.
‘What does it look like we’re doing?’ he scoffs.
It’s Jason Carver, he now realizes, because of-fucking-course it is. The guy brusquely shoves him against the wall; beside him, he hears Ray utter a scared gasp. He blindly grabs Ray’s wrist, because no matter the haze in his brain, he still thinks he should probably do something to comfort the guy - and he watches Jason’s eyes flick down at the movement before they settle back onto Eddie’s face.
‘Looks like you’re practicing sodomy out in the open,’ Jason breathes out.
Eddie can’t help it - he laughs. ‘You’re about ten years behind, Carver. Nothing illegal ‘bout that anymore.’
‘Tell that to Leviticus 18:22. “Do not have sexual rela-”‘
‘What part of me makes you think I give a single shit about goddamn Leviticus?’
‘Eddie,’ Ray chimes in, with a slightly begging edge to his voice that Eddie has only heard in very different circumstances before. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
Jason settles his gaze onto Ray now, loosening his grip on Eddie’s upper arms a little bit. His blue eyes look innocent as ever, but that’s exactly the thing that makes Jason Carver so dangerous - Eddie knows that all too well.
‘No, you’re not going anywhere yet.’ A slight smile is playing around his lips, as if he’s actually enjoying this - which he is, of course, the fucking psycho. ‘I think I’m gonna need to put the fear of God back into you two first.’
His strike is sudden and unexpected despite the build-up; Eddie didn’t actually think he’d have it in him. An involuntary gasp escapes his lips when he witnesses how Ray’s head gets knocked against the wall of the building with a thump that blends right in with the loud bass emerging from the bar.
The alcohol has made Eddie slow - too slow - and Jason catches his wrist before he can punch back properly.
‘Ray -’ Eddie pants.
But Ray is already getting away, running as fast as he can across the parking lot without even once looking back. Jason’s eyes flash quickly back and forth between the two boys, but he seems to decide that going after Ray isn’t quite worth it if he has the superior target - the drunk freak - right in front of him. He twists Eddie’s wrist into a painful angle with his left arm, using his right for a well-aimed blow against Eddie’s jaw.
Eddie tries to aim his knee at Jason’s most vulnerable parts, but he’s too sluggish and Jason too quick on his feet, and before he can really shake off the stars that are dancing around in his vision, he feels another two hits against his face and then one in his stomach, making him gasp for air as he tries to find some support from the building behind him. Before he knows it he’s knocked down to the ground - but then, another pair of legs appears in his vision and when he lifts his head, he sees Jason being knocked back a few steps by someone - no, not just someone - by Steve.
Before Jason can even raise his hand to hit back, Steve grabs his wrist and twists his arm while landing a punch in his face with his free hand. Eddie scrambles to his feet, getting himself out of the way of Steve throwing his whole body into the fight, shoving Jason against the wall; a choked groan escapes from Jason’s mouth when Steve hits him right in his stomach.
Steve catches hold of the other guy’s collar as he presses him against the wall. Jason’s usually meticulously styled hair is hanging over his eyes and his lip is bleeding.
‘You stay the hell away from my friends or the next time we run into each other will do some irreparable damage to that pretty face of yours, Carver. Now get the hell outta here.’ There’s more of the old King Steve in there than Eddie has seen in years, and it’s twisting his stomach in a way that has nothing to do with the punch he received there half a minute ago.
‘Fuck off, Harrington,’ Jason spews out when Steve releases his grip. ‘You’re pathetic. Have fun hanging out with the freaks.’
But words can’t hurt - not when they’re coming out of Jason Carver’s mouth anyway - so Steve gives him a final shove into his back as the guy stumbles away with a limp in his step.
Steve turns around to face Eddie, his chest still heaving.
‘You won a fight!’ Eddie exclaims triumphantly, while making the mental note not to forget any details so he can tell Dustin all about it tomorrow. He strongly doubts how much he’ll remember by the next day, however, and he kinda wishes he hadn’t been drinking this much.
But Steve doesn’t look nearly as victorious as he should; there’s a frown on his face and his lips are pressed tightly together.
‘Jesus, Eddie, what happened?’ His eyes are wide as they wander over Eddie’s face, and this is probably not the moment to think anything along the lines of ‘Holy fucking shit, Steve is worried about me!’ but it’s pretty clear by now that Eddie doesn’t really care about right moments anyway.
‘Nothing to worry about, Stevie.’ He tries to grin, but the movement is hurting his jaw and he has to bite back a groan. ‘Just a good old-fashioned Indiana hate crime.’
The frown on Steve’s face deepens. ‘Did he - did you -’
He doesn’t finish his question, and Eddie merely shrugs in response.
‘Jesus Christ.’ Steve brushes both his hands over his face in an exasperated motion. Then, his expression settles into something softer, more cautious.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Aside from the fact that my hookup fucking left me to be beaten to pulp by the local Christian psychopath and my head feels like it might split in two, yes, never better.’
Steve huffs. ‘Fair enough,’ he mumbles under his breath. ‘Alright, why don’t we go inside and get you cleaned up?’
He holds out his arms to support Eddie, but Eddie stubbornly chooses to ignore that - until he takes the first step and the combined dizziness of the shots and the fight almost immediately sends him crashing to the pavement.
‘Woah, I got you, man.’
Steve’s strong arms keep him steady before he can even blink, and maybe it’s not so bad after all, to feel those warm hands firmly around his arms with every step he takes.
Eddie clenches his jaw and tries to ignore the bass that starts hammering into his skull as soon as they step back inside the bar, and he lets Steve guide him to the restroom without paying attention to any of the staring patrons around them.
Steve lifts Eddie up like he weighs nothing and positions him on the sink, then swiftly turns on the tap and gets himself some paper towels. Eddie notices the blood on his knuckles, but Steve seems to be more worried about Eddie’s face than about his own injuries: he starts carefully dabbing the bruises at Eddie’s temple with the bundle of wet towels in his hand, with a concentrated frown between his brows and his eyes fixed on the damage that has been done. There seems to be a kind of routine to his movements, and something about that kind of makes Eddie want to cry.
‘You gonna tell me what happened exactly?’ Steve asks.
‘You know what happened,’ Eddie replies stiffly. ‘Forgot that this is what happens when you kiss someone.’
The worry on Steve’s face turns into skepticism.
‘So let me get this straight,’ he says, now moving the wet paper towel down over Eddie’s cheek, ‘You decided it was a good idea to have a full-on makeout session with a guy right outside the Hideout for everyone to see and -’
‘So I deserved it?’ Eddie cuts him off, a biting undertone to his voice.
Steve’s gaze flashes away from Eddie’s cheek and settles on his eyes. ‘Don’t put words into my mouth, man,’ he says, warning. ‘I just - I don’t want you to get hurt if you don’t have to. Were you even thinking at all?’
‘Hm. If you put it like that, it really does sound stupid, huh?’
‘Well, I hope it was worth it.’ There it is again, that coldness.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Hooking up with some random dude outside a bar. I hope it was worth the punches. Seriously Eddie, why would you even do that?!’
He probably shouldn’t be saying this. No, he really shouldn’t be saying this. But there’s something about the way in which Steve is phrasing all this shit that makes him feel cornered. ‘Because I needed to forget about you.’ He lets it slip out before he can stop it. God-fucking-damnit.
Steve’s hand freezes mid-dab, cloth hovering in the air in front of Eddie’s skin. His mouth opens, the inevitable What?! frozen on his lips.
‘There you have it,’ Eddie says with a stiff shrug. ‘Not only stupid enough to get beaten up while I shoulda known better, but also to fall for my straight friend like the total idiot I so clearly am.’ He can’t even look at Steve anymore, fixes his gaze on a point somewhere behind Steve’s shoulder. ‘You know what, you should go home. I’ll get myself cleaned up; I can walk to Reefer Rick’s and crash there.’
But Steve moves to position himself right in front of Eddie, making it impossible for him to jump off the sink like he was planning to.
‘No, we’re not going anywhere.’
‘Steve, c’mon, this whole shitshow has been embarrassing enough as it is, alright?’ He feels the burning behind his eyes; he knows what’s gonna come next and he doesn’t want Steve to be the witness to that. ‘I don’t wanna talk about it. Just - at least give me the dignity to have my pathetic breakdown in private.’
‘Well, I do wanna talk about it, and you know what, Eddie?’ There’s a certain edge to Steve’s voice that Eddie can’t quite place. ‘You are a total idiot. I don’t know why the hell you would ever assume I’m straight, so honestly, that’s on you, man.’
It takes a good few seconds before Eddie’s hazy brain finally catches up to Steve’s words. Wait, what?!
‘Steve, I swear to God, if you’re fucking with me right now...’
‘I wish I was.’ And something about the complete seriousness with which Steve says that, finally makes the penny drop in Eddie’s head.
For a couple of seconds, he can only stare at Steve, frozen in time and in the hundreds of words that are hidden behind that soft brown-eyed gaze of his. Then, he stretches out his hands, wraps them around Steve’s waist, tugging him closer between his legs, reaching -
But Steve doesn’t kiss him. He merely envelops Eddie in his strong arms, tangles his fingers into his hair, rests his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck...
‘Steve...’
‘Not right now, Eddie,’ Steve murmurs into his hair. ‘Not like this. Just let me hold you, okay?’
So he does. He lets Steve hold him. He feels his arms around him, feels his waist pressed against the inside of his thighs, feels the warmth radiating from his body, hears the steady breathing in his ear, smells the scent of hairspray and aftershave and something he never smelled before. And he lets Steve take him home, where he keeps clinging onto him like a koala to a tree - and he doesn’t even mind that nothing else happens while he’s in Steve’s bed for the first time, because he’s there, and Steve’s there with him - and for now, that’s more than enough.
#tw violence#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#fruity ficlet#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#jason carver#stranger things
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I'm trying to hand make some punk posters for my room, I was wondering if there's any trans punk slogans besides the 'be gay, do crime, be trans throw hands, be queer strike fear'?
You are probably done making your posters by now, but:
The first pride was a riot
Out of the closet and into the streets
Lavender menace
Queer as in fuck you
Fuck the cistem
Others are welcome to add more!
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Every time you hug a queer person, every time you're nice to a queer person, every time you bring a queer person joy, you take away power from the chrsitian god and his followers and strike fear in their hearts, and I think that's amazing. Just by making the people in your life happy you're making an evil god weep, you are very powerful.
#196#my thougts#queer#queer community#queer love#queer joy#queer liberation#anti christianity#christanity#christianity#christian faith#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtq community#gay#transgender#trans#transsexual#lesbians#lesbian#asexual#aspec#arospec#aroace#aromantic#enby#nonbinary#non binary#agender#bisexual
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Summer 2024 Anime Overview: Senpai is an Otokonoko
Aoi falls for an older girl, Makoto, and one day she confesses love to her senpai. But then Makoto reveals that he is an otokonoko- a crossdressing boy. Much to Makoto’s surprise, this only increases Aoi’s attraction, as she’s 100 percent supportive of crossdressing and ecstatic about getting to enjoy both the “boy” and “girl” versions of her senpai. Complicating things is Makoto’s best friend Ryuji, who has a huge crush on Makoto even though he won’t admit it to himself.
Meanwhile, Makoto is dealing with an incredibly transphobic mother, so he hides himself at home and lives in fear she’ll find out that he’s crossdressing at school.
This is a sweet, heartfelt, queer show with some very good kids and a lot of sad and happy feels. Prepare for heartstrings to be tugged. I grew very attached to the main trio in various ways,as they all have their own individual struggles related to gender, sexuality and heteronormative society. They're going through it, but they always work to understand and accept each other.
Makoto is obviously the central focus with the Gender of it All, and you see him struggle to navigate a world that sees gender in strict binary terms and tries to limit the ways he can live. The show strikes a good balance in showing the heartbreaking obstacles Makoto deals with but also showing the joy he finds in unexpected acceptance, affirmation, and connection. It’s sad when he tries to force himself to be ‘normal’ but it’s all the more heartwarming when his loved ones support him being who he truly is. A big focus of the show is Makoto trying to figure out if he wants to “live as a girl” as the show puts it, or if his relationship with his gender is something else.
I was surprised at how much I liked Ryuji, he might be my favorite. His struggle with his internalized homophobia and his yearning for Makoto literally made me cry at one point, which is rare for me with media. Plus, he’s just a sweet kid and good friend who puts up a laughably paper-thin "tough" front and you want good things for him. And that’s true for all the characters.
Aoi is a character who starts off as a comedic genki girl, (and to some she even initially came off as a chaser, but as her layers peeled back it becomes clear that’s not the case). I liked her from the beginning despite her being A Lot but I was concerned she might boil down to the unfailingly Cheerful Girl Who Supports Makoto—but she gains a tremendous amount of depth once her backstory and personal struggles start to unfold.
Honestly, she really resonates with me as an ace person and her storyline seems primed to head in that direction, but I’m not naïve enough to think I’m going to get an actual asexual storyline where we examine how some people simply don’t feel romantic and/or sexual attraction and can still be fulfilled…and yeah, judging from the few spoilers I’ve seen, it’s not about that. It’s a bit disappointing, since it would really fit in with a show so focused on non-heteronormative sexuality, but y’know. We’re used to it. I never expect much. I will be interested in how it unfolds in the movie and hope whatever story they choose will at least be well told.
So basically, the show not only presents a love triangle where not only do you want all of them to be happy (sadly poly will not be the answer) BUT also a love triangle where each person thinks it would be better for their so-called "rival" to end up with their crush because they all love each other and want each other to be happy, but they all think very little of themselves. Amazing. A love triangle that’s truly all love but in the most hurtful way possible.
Aoi, Makoto, and Ryuji’s bond is really the star of the show for me more than any independent relationship and (though if I had to choose the friendship between Aoi and Ryuji is low-key the cutest to me).
There’s not many caveats to this show, obviously it examines transphobia in sometimes heartbreaking ways, and Ryuji’s internalized homophobia can be rough (I wish someone would directly tell him he’s not gross). I did find the pacing to be way too rushed in early episodes, but it evened out as it went on.
For something that’s neither good or bad: one thing that was noticeable about the show is it really avoided any queer terminology, in a way a lot of modern queer manga doesn’t. Again, this isn’t a bad things, and I honestly wouldn’t have noticed if one of the characters hadn’t met an older queer person (which is great! Love it when older queer people help the younger generation and show them they’re not alone)—yet this person doesn’t share any kind of specifics and how they identify is kept ambiguous, though they clearly have been to drag clubs/communities at the very least (as a blink and you miss it thing). In some ways, this might be purposeful, it felt like the story wanted the characters to be applicable to a lot of queer experiences, and one of the main points of the show is Makoto’s uncertainty about his own identity and not feeling comfortable in certain categories. Labels don’t work for everyone.
However, a few more specifics felt like it would help with adding context to some of the characters. Does Ryuji know other gay men exist? Does he think he’s the only one? I honestly have no idea. There is a possibility of these kids getting to know a wider community that seems tantalizing but unlikely to be capitalized on and sometimes the show’s desire to be nebulous about all this can feel like a missed opportunity.
Overall, I think this is a touching, worthwhile show about affirmation and love and the complexities of being queer in a limiting society. And of course that means a bunch of homophobes review bombed it because they apparently just now realized queer stories have always been a big part of anime. Knowing this makes it even clearer that shows like this make an impact and deserve support, and I’m really glad a movie to wrap things up has already been announced.
Give this show a watch, and maybe bring some tissues.
#senpai is an otokonoko#senpai wa otokonoko#my crossdressing senpai#makoto hanaoka#hanaoka makoto#summer 2024 anime#anime overview#ryuji taiga#taiga ryuji#ryuuji taiga#taiga ryuuji#saki aoi#aoi saki#anime#my reviews
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IHNMAIMS CAST RE-INTERPRETATION
Due to my visceral hatred of the game and the way they handled the characters, I’ve decided to re-write their stories a little bit! I’m using the book, comics, and radio drama as reference, and my own headcanons too for fun. This is all For Fun
Ellen
Things I’m Keeping
Born in Trenton, New Jersey
Computer scientist
3 degrees
Went to Stanford university
Graduated high school early
Lived with her grandparents
Hope in humanity
Self assured
Sympathetic
Rape survivor
Little to no interest in sex in general
Work driven
Career focused
Things I’m Changing
Black rights advocate
Queer rights advocate
Feminist
Outspoken
Trans woman
Lesbian
No interest in motherhood
Fell into a depression when her assault left her with chronic illness and pain
Has OCD
Character Notes
Highly distrustful of people. Kind and caring, but her concern for others is surface level. Struggles with the fear of men and violent intrusive thoughts. Favorite color is red. It calms her.
——
Ted
Things I’m Keeping
Born near Shelby, North Carolina
Grew up extremely poor
Lived on a farm
Interest in reading
Knack for mechanics and engineering
No traditional education, self taught
Studied intensively
Education focused
Grooming victim
Charming
Relied on his body for money
Philanthropist
Rich
Good sense of morals
Kindhearted
Things I’m Changing
Closeted bisexual
Not a con-artist
Not a racist
Not a womanizer
Has anxiety
Has a paranoid personality disorder
Touch adverse
Struggles with dermatillomania
Demisexual
Character Notes
Had always been paranoid and anxious even before AM, but it made his problems even worse. Struggles heavily with internalized homophobia, and gets visually uncomfortable when queer topics or people are discussed. Prideful and egotistical out of habit, but is deeply insecure in reality.
——
Gorrister
Things I’m Keeping
Born in the Midwest
Troublemaker as a child
Disrespect for authority
Did poorly in school
Moves across states for work
Practically friendless
Has experience as a construction worker, electrician, mechanic, and a trucker
Interest in reading
Prefers to stay home and eat home-cooked meals
Wants to settle down
Divorced
Anti-war
Left-leaning political activist
Strong sense of morals and justice
Wanted a family
Things I’m Changing
Marriage with Glynis was not abusive
Did not strike his wife
Divorced due to wanting different things out of life and overwhelming mental health issues
Bisexual
Queer rights activist
Has depression
Has CPTSD
Born in Texas specifically
Struggles with alcoholism
Struggles with anger issues
Is an artist
Character Notes
Very deeply loved and adored his wife. He did everything he could for her, but it just wasn’t enough. Glynis’ worsening mental state became too much for either of them to handle, and Gorrister didn’t know what to do. Sending her to a mental hospital was a non-option, things got worse, and she commuted suicide. He blames himself for it every day of his life.
——
Nimdok
Things I’m Keeping
Born in Düsseldorf
Jewish parents
Went to medical school
Apparent lack of compassion
Gay
Scientist
German
Has dementia
Had a partner in Brazil
The oldest of the group
Self assured
Logical
Things I’m Changing
Not a nazi
Not decrepit
Has early-onset dementia specifically
Not AM’s favorite
Low empathy
Low sympathy
Has a general disinterest in other people
AroAce
Struggles with schizophrenia
Character Notes
While unable to sympathize or understand other people’s emotions, it wasn’t ever in his nature to be outright mean or cruel. Rather, his dementia is what caused the change in behavior. Sometimes he has moments of clarity, where his true nature can be seen for a few fleeting moments. Still retains his sharp scientific mind.
——
Benny
Things I’m Keeping
Gay
Professor
Good looking
Intelligent
Born somewhere in America
Strong willed
High perseverance
Self assured
Physically strong
Things I’m Changing
Had absolutely nothing to do with the military
Did not have a wife
Is not needlessly mean or violent
Career driven
Focus in academics
Knows sign language
Struggles with chronic fatigue and pain
A softer man
Interest in nature and the outdoors
Character Notes
Never one to start a fight or even anger much at all, Benny was laidback and easygoing. He had a calm life, and his personality was upbeat. Nothing ever seemed to bring him down. Not even his chronic illnesses, as frustrating and disheartening as they could be. In his free time he was somewhat of a survivalist.
#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims#ellen ihnmaims#ted ihnmaims#gorrister ihnmaims#nimdok ihnmaims#benny ihnmaims#It’s just. I cannot stand the way they’re written as terrible awful people just for the sake of being terrible awful people#It’s not interesting. Nor is it realistic or even engaging in the world they’re in#It’s much more fun in my opinion if they’re truly just Regular People
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I'm curious to know your take on the whole fujoshi pisscourse because I'm semi new to it and no matter how much the internet says I should be appalled that some cis women flick their beans to gay stuff... as a queer guy I simply cannot bring myself to care. I have experienced cis straight women in queer spaces being rude or even sexually inappropriate, especially to performers, but I just don't see the relationship between that and the girls watching gay porn. And I've also seen people argue that it's bad because cis straight women who are artists will write/draw stuff about gay men that's inaccurate... but again I don't see this as nefarious as the twinks on tiktok want me to believe it is, like who cares.
Yeah, I'm with you 100%. What a person gets off to is their business and no type of porn belongs to one identity group.
My gay male bestie in high school got off exclusively to straight porn -- he found the women in straight porn easier to relate to than the types of big, masc guys that get depicted in most gay porn videos.
I watch porn of any fucking gender combination because what I care about is the hypnosis and power exchange, not the people involved.
I know this couple of two trans women that broke up when one walked in on the other watching gay male "sissy" porn -- she considered it an insult to her own identity and worried that it meant her trans femme partner wasn't "really" a woman or didn't see her as one. It led to the disastrous, messy termination of a relationship of many years, and the entire basis for the rift was nonsense.
I like a lot of detrans kink / forced detransition porn because of my own insecurities and worst fears. It strikes a chord in a hot way. Before I transitioned, I looked at a lot of gay male porn especially of the silly fanfictiony variety because it gave me something to project my longings onto.
Lots of trans mascs are "cis female fujoshis" like that. And yeah, some cis women are too! They may like the escape from conventional gender role baggage, or they may have some latent gender-fuckery of their own that the fiction is allowing them to explore, or maybe they just like guys a lot and so seeing two guys together is twice as hot to them. No amount of discourse is gonna keep straight men from watching lesbian porn. So let's leave the girls to whatever gets them off!
(incidentally, I know a lot of lesbian fujoshis too).
We shouldn't be policing what others' eroticize. A person's identity has no bearing on what they might find interesting to look at or fantasize about. What matters in terms of 'protecting' the queer community is having guidelines on behavior.
The problem with cishet women being predatory at the club isn't that they're cishet, it's that they're groping people, getting in people's faces, and being rude. Anyone of any identity can do that. The only way we can prevent bad behavior is by having rules and procedures in place for dealing with it in anyone. Not by restricting which identities are allowed in the door -- that will only ever play out in a transphobic way and a way that's hostile to the questioning and closeted, and I'll have no part in it.
And certainly none of us have any business butting into what sexual thoughts play between a person's ears. There are no thought crimes. There are no emotion crimes. There are no arousal crimes. There are only behaviors that can hurt others, and if someone's actions are respectful and harm no one, their identity and what they get off to is completely their business.
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Nova Black is an 18-year-old queer, black and homeless abuse survivor facing charges based on an altercation in which we believe they were defending themself from someone who was called out for inappropriately watching them bathe in a hot spring.
During the event, their at-the-time partner accused someone who has a reputation of watching bathers in the local public hot spring of staring at them in an inappropriate manner. As a response, this person allegedly took Nova and their then partner's belongings and hurled them into the hot spring and then began preventing them from leaving by swinging a makeshift spear at them, striking Nova in the wrist.
When Nova's then partner got out they claim to have wrestled with the attacker, during which time Nova says they struck him three times to get him to drop his weapon. After the weapon was dropped they stopped defending themself and the alleged attacker reportedly entered his vehicle in which he reportedly attempted to use the vehicle to run down Nova and their then partner.
Nova is a very honest, kind, and giving person who is beloved by their friends. We believe their story is true and want to give them the chance to defend themself in court. This is a fund to help them raise the money they need to hire a lawyer so that they can settle this case and be free.
As of now, Nova is in hiding-- fearing what the police and courts would do to them if they have no legal defense or understanding of how to navigate the legal system. We want them to have the ability to defend themself fairly and go forward confidently in clearing their name.
This fund is being raised by Nova's friends who believe them to be innocent, simply having defended themself from someone who has a reputation of being a creep in this community. We believe them and want to help, but we need the help of caring individuals like we hope you are to help raise the money for their legal defense.
Nova doesn't belong in prison! Please help us raise the money to defend them!
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