#be nice if we could stop being negative to each other overall

[mossangelll]

is that hyperpigmentation?

arcane characters x reader

basically what the title says, you draw the arcane characters à la hyperpigmentation 😍 i needed smth silly to work on to get me out of my writing rut, hope you enjoy :p

content: gn!reader, reader is their partner (could be seen as platonic/child reader but i think most of, if not all, the hcs allude or explicitly call reader their partner - sorry!)

Jinx

she LOVES it

as an artist, engineer, overall creator she can really appreciate the more wacky expressions of art

she does a whole art critique (barely a critique tbh) and pretends to be some stuffy piltie talking about the genius and emotion behind the artwork

“ya know, toots, i’m reaaallyyyy enjoying what ya did with that…um, splodge? on my face there. yeah!”

she draws her own version but this time it’s a portrait of you

you swap them and have a cute little date where you colour the pictures in together and add details in the background

by the end, jinx’s workshop is covered in glue and glitter and paint and powder and also for some reason silly string

jinx even makes frames from scratch so they can be hung up - they’re probably the most nicely presentee decoration she has in her place

Ekko

you slide the portrait of him over to his side of the table in silence

he looks down absently and has to do a double take

“this is…me?” he asks hesitantly with his eyes widened like a deer in headlights; a look you rarely ever see from him - you nod and confirm his fears

“we have one tree down here. paper’s expensive. remember that.”

walks away and goes about his duties helping the firelights and though you suspect he might be upset, he did take the picture with him

feels so guilty about his reaction he almost sacks himself into a wall as he rides his hover board

later that night he apologises and makes a show of sticking the picture on his bedroom wall (in the corner he can barely see of course)

Vi

she’s been in prison and seen some interesting tattoos but this takes the cake

spends a good ten minutes staring at it whilst rubbing her chin as if that’s gonna make it look better

asks you if this was the rough draft

she’s smooth though so she basically tells you she hates it but in a way that you don’t even realise - you’re too busy being seduced to notice

“i love how wild your imagination is babe 😍”

vi keeps the picture and shows jinx; needless to say, this portrait becomes famous

kids all through the lanes have a challenge where they find all the weird faces jinx spray painted everywhere

vi pretends to act dumb as if she doesn’t know how jinx got ahold of them but you both know what happened LMAO

Caitlyn

she laughs in your face

she probably just had an argument with her mum over being an enforcer so she really needed this to lighten her spirits

teases you over it but accepts it gracefully because she’s a kiramman and those manners have been engrained into her

keeps it in her room as a joke and everything’s seemingly ok

except she can’t stop looking at it

and then looking at her reflection in the mirror

starts to question reality because she knows there’s no way she looks like that but if so, why would you draw it in the first place 😭

then she enters the mad stage and she confronts you about this thing called negging she discovered

it’s a loooooong night but don’t worry it ends in lots of laughter and giggles

she understands it wasn’t serious and was just projecting her stress onto the picture

but then this starts a new tradition where you two draw daily doodles of each other; sometimes with stupid faces, other times as animals, whatever you two are feeling really

Mel

the woman was too stunned to speak

no, she’s literally speechless for a good minute or two as you hold it out for her

she eventually takes the portrait from your hands but does it in a way where you’d think it was going to explode the second she touches it

she tries her best to smile and be graceful about it, years of etiquette training being tested but even this is a bit excessive

she finds a way to dodge actually having to tell you it looks bad but also dodges telling you that it looks good too - she’s a lot of things but she’s not a liar 😭

she’s incredibly diplomatic

the very next day she’s introducing you to an absolutely fabulous painter who just happened to make an impromptu visit but has just enough time to run a session (or multiple) with you!

how serendipitous is this!

never again will she receive a portrait from you like hyperpigmentation

Jayce

“oh wow this is for me?”

you handed this to him in the busy academy building in front of SOOO many people and now his face is red

his teeth are gritted, hand rubbing the back of his neck and if you look closely there’s even beads of sweat dripping down his forehead

you’ve got this man stressed out

takes like 20 minutes trying to tell you that he’s not too sure if this is exactly his style

internally he’s crying for help because he just wants to get out of this situation

he loves you don’t get it wrong but this has never happened to him before and it’s not like they’ve got a guidebook on this stuff

eventually admits defeat and accepts the portrait

it’s probably in the break room and although he isn’t particularly fond of it, he won’t stand for anyone saying mean things about what you made

that is until you tell him it was all a joke in the first place and you never thought he would actually accept it considering how shitty it was

yeah, he allowed everyone a ten minute free for all where they could slander the picture after that

he is gonna give you silent treatment for all of an hour before he can’t stand it anymore and he asks you not to pull pranks like that on him again with tears in his eyes 😭

Viktor

viktor is chronically ill AND chronically overworked

gonna be real, he sees the portrait and doesn’t even think anything of it

like, he’s so sleep deprived that he’s constantly squinting and so to him, it low-key looks like him

you even got his beauty mark right too! most people forget that detail!

it’s only after a good few weeks of having the picture on his bedside table and actually, finally, getting eight hours of sleep that he properly looks at the picture and

who the fuck is that

but at this point it’s too late, it’s already in a frame next to the bed you two share and there’s no way he can discretely get rid of it without you noticing

stages an accident where his cane “accidentally” happens to slip and somehow punt the picture frame right out the window with surprising accuracy

he gives you those puppy dog eyes and tells you how sad he is but that he’ll survive so don’t worry!

can’t even feel guilty about the situation because the moment the portrait is gone he stops having nightmares

Silco

another one who is speechless

if you were anyone else, he would’ve berated you so badly you would want to quit by the end of it

unfortunately you’re someone he loves so he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place

the thing is, he really does appreciate that you went through the effort of drawing a picture of him since it reminds him that perhaps his love isn’t as one-sided as he fears

so he really does want to have it framed and put up on his desk so he can stare at it whenever he misses you

the problem is that even though one of his eyes is fucked up he can still see how butt ugly the drawing is

plus the fact that if he has meetings his business associates are gonna see it and that’s gonna be a tough one to explain

rather not lose out of business because his partner decided to be picasso for a day

silco ends up compromising by having you draw a teeny tiny version he keeps in his wallet instead :3

the bigger version stays in a locked compartment of his desk drawer, he doesn’t want to risk sevika seeing it

Vander

vander does NOT care what it looks like, he loves it

you could literally scribble on a page, say “that’s you” and he’s tearing up at your thoughtfulness

it’s going on the fridge asap and it’s staying there too

he’s gonna show it to everyone with such pride in his voice

sure, he doesn’t know exactly what he’s looking at and maybe you drew his body hair a bit liberally but you made it so that’s good enough for him!

when he shows it off, most people say aww what a cute werewolf and ask how old his kid is

the light leaves their eyes when he tells them, chest puffed out, that his fully grown adult partner did it and that it’s actually a portrait of him

whether you made it as a joke or not, expect all of your friends, your friend’s friends, those friend’s friend’s friends…everyone to have seen it

Sevika

sevika tells you it’s ugly straight away <\3

rolls her eyes as she listens to you explain all the reasons why she should like the drawing

she does nawt care

wants to act unbothered but deep down she’s a bit insulted

however she doesn’t like sein you upset so she kisses you to distract you from the fact she hates the drawing

sevika is an incredibly considerate partner so now she knows you like art, she takes it upon herself to buy colouring books and art journals that you two can fill out together

this is how you find out she’s a god at drawing and you find it sweet how she takes you under her wing

if something’s bad she’ll tell you but it will always be constructive criticism and before you know it your portraits actually look decent

she’s smug knowing she helped you get to that point

little do you know she kept your abhorrent portrait of her and she looks at it every so often to see how far you’ve come

she’s a softie deep down

AU!mylo

he says he likes it but that’s just because he wants to hit

also is a bit pretentious so you could hand him a really bad painting and he’ll try and act like he “gets it” even if there’s nothing to get 😭

this WILL make him doubt his looks constantly

he’s confident for sure, more than he should be at times, but now he’s got that image in the back of his head

aura down and now he’s even WORSE at flirting god save this man

will go around asking random people if he looks like the guy in the portrait because he’s not going down without a fight

he needs to beat the allegations one way or another‼️

AU!claggor

genuinely too nice to decline it or say it looks bad

doesn’t know what exactly it’s meant to be even though you already said it’s a portrait of him

too focused on his plants to worry about it too much, it’s just something that makes him chuckle every now and then

he will conduct a mini interview on why you made it look the way it did

he looks all serious as he nods at your answers

deep down he just wants to understand how your brain works

masterlist

[hummingbee-lievable]

Hello hello dear, here to give you an explanation.

The strange thing is: this fic appears to be related to the 'Saw' franchise? Which- unless I'm very out of the loop- Mr. Gaiman has nothing to do with. So this doesn't meet the typical criteria of breaking established boundaries, but I recommend not sending him anything like this anyway. It's still something he can't risk opening, regardless of the fandom it pertains to.

Regardless, here, have a bullet point list:

♤ Legal reasons:

If he looks at/reads any headcanons or fanfics, or even fan theories, he could be accused of taking the ideas and using them for himself. This could result in him being sued for taking the ideas. Avoiding fan works as a whole is the only safe way to circumvent this.

♡ Personal reasons:

Look. It's simple. Our minds are wild. They can go anywhere, anyplace, anytime. Now, while he has been fully supportive of the creative process that the worlds he's created have inspired, he does not want to know. Believe me. He doesn't. Do you really want to imagine your favourite character that you've created, or one that embodies some secret part of you, in any other way but the way you've imagined them? I would equate it to watching a movie rendition of a book you've really loved. Sometimes it's a beautiful interpretation, sometimes it's so horrifyingly unlike what you imagined that the character is ruined for you forever. Either way, not everyone wants to see that, preferring to leave it to the power of imagination (insert Gene Wilder reference here).

♧ Time: If you are looking to get yourself published, and are trying to share your work with him to that end, you're barking up the wrong tree, alas. He doesn't have the time to honour everyone's works and he is also not a publisher.

☆ He's asked us not to. Simple as that.

I'm probably missing something, but I hope I covered the basics.

I will say that I come across posts daily that threaten the readers, i.e. 'If you share this can theory/fic, etc. with Neil Gaiman you may wake to find your toes removed' or other equally creative forms of jovial (but serious) threats. It's nice to see the fandoms doing their part, where they can.

Lastly, the amount of kindness and acceptance we get from Mr. Gaiman about the ways we interpret his world is so abundant that I should hope we can take to heart that he is fully accepting of what is talked about and created; as long as he doesn't know about it. It's a simple boundary to impose and the least we can do is respect it.

O.P., I hope this is clear. You may not have known, so I just wanted to explain it. I don't want you to feel attacked by this, so I'm hoping it comes across as mattter-of-factly as possible. We don't need to be hurt any more than our mistakes already hurt us.

Thank you for listening.

P.S. Final note: including this link where he talks about the insanity of the legal world regarding this:

Neil Gaiman. I request that you read a piece of work my friend made. It's called Shock Value and you can find it on Ao3.

Use this link if you don't wanna search for it;

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52654369/chapters/133187092

Please don't send me links to fan fiction. People in the notes will explain why.

[rainfeathers]

Thoughts on the Mystery Labrinth

spoilers ahead for the game so don’t go further if you haven’t finished it.

I’ve seen mixed feelings about it all over (more so off tumblr than here) and that made me want to put my two cents in. Why not. Remember when I said Vivia was a yapper? Me too that’s why I fuck with him. I’m not proofreading this have fun with my typos.

Disclaimer: for the entire game I forgot you could get skills. Entirely. I didn’t get any of them nor upgrade anything. Do skills make the game too easy? Don’t know. I won’t go too much into difficulty for that reason.

Overall feelings

I like it! I’m a mystery labyrinth enjoyer. I dig the mechanics, my favorite being anything with the truth blade. Bobbing and weaving between trying to pick the right keys to answer questions was so fun.

One of my favorite parts is how each one changed to suit the case. The final labyrinth being Kanai ward?? Chapter four being the lab?? Good shit. Even how it framed questions and the mini games looked were different per case, which was a cool surprise. I thought they’d be more copy-paste, but every chapter felt distinct.

As such, it is very difficult for me to apply any blanket criticism to the mechanic. They all had different strengths and different weaknesses.

If any of this comes off as too negative, I don’t at all mean it that way. I’m just better at going in-depth on critique. I’m a certified ML liker. Give me more of that in the sequel.

Per chapter thoughts

Chapter 0: The chapter is good, but given this is the “tutorial” level, it drags a lot on replay. I feel like a lot of the explanation and exposition about it could have been condensed better. I know plot-wise it’s so Yuma stops freaking out, but the game could have taken more liberty with leaving things ambiguous and “it’s a game so there’s game mechanics” would have been a fine explanation. This is straying out of just chapter 0. Id much rather condense some of the exposition and put it towards real-life character development.

Otherwise I enjoyed it. Zilch was a great antagonist, and has some of the best designs. And he gets two?? As he should. There’s an interesting irony in him having two ML forms given he’s technically two people. (The Hitman himself and this other identity he’s taken on for the hit)

Chapter 1: not a ton to say honestly! Perfectly serviceable ML with nothing too stand out, which is ideal for chapter 1. It functioned great, and Seth was there AND Halara so it’s the best one. Jk that one is to come but also like-

Chapter 2: this is where what I said about the accompanying character affecting the chapter really did it a disservice. Sorry Desuhiko but you needed to can it once in a while. I’m not a hater of him, but he got pretty repetitive. Unlike the other chapters where the character either functioned perfectly fine (Halara) or actively made it better (Vivia), I started getting annoyed by him and replaying doesn’t make it better. I wish the game leaned into a few of his other traits other than just horny.

That aside the actual ML?? Stellar. The different hallways, the eerie music. The realization that they all come together into one path because the girls are working together, followed by the sickening realization that we’re going to kill three girls was a gut punch in the best way. This is my favorite ML for handling the consequences of reaping the culprits soul.

Chapter 3: another one that didn’t stand out to me. Granted this is because chapter 3 was the weakest one, but that’s more the fault of the chapter than the ML. That said, I loved Fubuki in it. I thought she was going to annoy me, but her small arc with Shinigami and working through her own insecurities was really nice to play through.

Chapter 4: OOOH you sly dog you’ve got me monologuing. What a great chapter. Props to the people who caught the twist coming because I didn’t until Vivia started getting weird about how we didn’t figure out the culprit. Granted I was drunk when I played this the first time, but it was so good. In such a painful way. This is a chapter where the accompanying character makes the fucking ML. Vivia’s arc, the fight he and Yuma had, the uncertainty if we were going to have to maybe kill him to escape, or if he would come to see our point of view?? Incredible. I’d say it’s my favorite chapter, but then we’ve got

Chapter 5: after 4, I didn’t think this one could hold a candle to it, but I was proved so delightfully wrong. The setting being kanai ward, the ambiguous antagonist, shinigami trying to steer us away from finding our identity as Number One all while we approach the final face off with Makoto, it was so so good. So fucking good. And the final battle? From the voice acting, the framing, the way it played out, it was just so fun. Slowly picking away at the truth both literally and figuratively while we shattered Makoto’s mask, it didn’t disappoint once. Makoto in general is a perfect antagonist to finish off the game. I could go on.

Overall I can’t wait to see how the ML is handled in the potential sequel. If we get anything akin to chapters 4 and 5 I’ll pass away because my heart can’t take it but it will be so good

[prettyrealm]

i love ur blog fr… one of my least favorite things about the tarot community (not just kpop) is how some people alter or water down their readings (or just aren’t perceptive enough) so that their content is more positive and validating for consumability… and the people who choose to be honest and direct get ate up 😭 divination can be harsh. idk why people are here expecting validation or only positive things. most of these idols are not nice!!

if you want a romantic story and enjoy living in denial, go to ao3!! wattpad or something?? y’all are looking for fanfiction. there are soooo many writing blogs on this site.

and i also have soooo much beef with like, pop culture tarot readings on youtube and tiktok that are clearlyyyyyy not too good in quality, but people eat it up blindly because it tells them things that they like to hear and never anything critical. i have a theory about that being one of the reasons why people assume honest readers have bad intentions or are hating on people. i don’t think people realize just how common it is to read on someone and get the vibe that they’re shitty in some capacity, or not even having to rely on intuition and to be directly told that there is something off about someone. idols aren’t usually any better than the average person, and the average person usually has bad traits. period. some are worse than the average person.

also… i have a problem with how it’s seen as perfectly fine to share the positive traits we’re able to pick up on through tarot, but sharing the negatives is seen as invasive?? like girl either it’s all invasive or none of it lmaooo. you’re okay consuming content that makes you feel like you’d be attractive to someone or reading about what their personality is like, but it’s too much when that same person says that they’d potentially be a bigot or have issues with stuff like anger? that’s when it’s too much??? 😭😭

Thank you so much for stopping by to show love!! I really appreciate your perspective and agree with pretty much everything you’ve said. 🩷

People were shocked by @dreamofmetoday and l’s ideal type readings being so specific and descriptive and we didn’t get why until we tapped in with other peoples readings and realized most are just saying very vague things or just things that EVERYONE is looking for in a partner (for example, kind, sympathetic, loyal) or just things that make it easy to self-insert in general. I think the self-insert aspect is a main reason people put such an emphasis on only focusing on the positive.

I also get asks demanding I tell them how I get such specific and detailed answers when it comes to things like homophobia/race/misogyny whatever, and it’s like, that’s just how it works? Makes me wish more people would get into tarot themselves so they could see.

The “romantic love story” crossover stuff that you mentioned is why I think you’ll often come across readings, and even PACs, on here that are like a wattpad story. like you said, many readers know there’s a large audience for this. For example when it comes to PACs, 3 pile PACs are a very quick and easy way to get followers and likes, but overall don’t exert a lot of energy and limit the amount of people who can actually connect with the PAC but then each pile will be filled with nuance, details and specifics and the reader is able to just say, “take what resonates and leave what doesn’t” to get away with it. How is someone even supposed to know what truly resonates and what doesn’t for a future spouse reading anyway? Not to mention, how can these readers suddenly get so much detail for a random pac and then not in their other readings or personal readings? There’s just a lot of predatory behavior in the tarot community unfortunately (thank you to melody’s anon for helping us label this finally too), and in turn, it creates a huge misunderstanding of what to expect from readings when you know nothing about tarot.

Not saying all 3 pile PACs are bad of course btw, because that would be ridiculous. There are of course situations where the 3 pile format makes sense, but a lot of them on here are just baiting.

In regards to positives being welcomed with open arms and negatives being considered invasive, it’s literally just nonsensical and honestly, a little weird (often the result of fetishization or idolization etc. so to say this under the pretense of high morals is odd… to say the least). I’ve seen people say things like “who are readers to decide what’s a negative?” when that’s literally not the case, it’s not a case of the reader “deciding” anything, I’m literally asking specifically about the negative traits. It makes me wonder what questions other readers are actually asking in the first place to even come to the conclusion that we would assigning these traits ourselves. Or the argument that “humans are multifaceted so we shouldn’t assign them blah blah blah” like… yeah… duh they’re multifaceted, which is why there’s literally a positives section? It just seems like they reach for excuses to defend their main point that the negatives of these men’s personalities just shouldn’t be acknowledged. It almost makes me feel like some people make these blogs to even improve their idols overall image on a smaller scale or have more control of the perception of it.

I really LOVE how you said “it’s either all invasive or none of it is” because that’s something Melody and I talk about together all the time. Their love lives and “kinks” aren’t invasive topics, but everything that could ruin someone’s fantasy about an idol is. In the end, you’re only allowed to post readings that let you daydream about being their best friend, boyfriend or girlfriend with no complications or obstacles I guess lol. Thanks again for sending this ask! It was really cool to unpack this and see that there’s a reader/follower on the same page. 🩷

[eradicatetehnormal]

Just Saw Deadpool and Wolverine

So I guess I'll start with the negatives:

I don't know if it was because I saw it with my grandma, or if I just wasn't in the mood, but the sex jokes tired me out quickly, which is weird considering stuff I like, such as Viziepop cartoons. It felt like there were way more of them, and some of them, like the one with Wade negotiating how he's going to be pegged, went on a little long. I do admit that part of it could just be that my state of mind won't allow me to enjoy necrophilia jokes.

I feel like Wade didn't really learn anything. Like, we see a memory of Venessa telling him off for being irresponsible and only being as big as himself, but in the end, he's still being selfish. He pushes Wolverine out of the room even though he tells Wade he has nothing to go back to and after that he says it's for the good of everyone. This is self-pity. Even now, he's still mostly thinking about himself. It makes the scene where it looks like he and Venessa might make amends feel silly, which kind of leads into my next point.

It's 2024, I'm 20 and officially out of my teen years. It's the future and I'm too old for this shit. What shit you might ask? Pseudo-gay relationships. If you're going to be gay, go all the way with it. Stop playing Wade's pansexuality as a joke. Just have him and Logan hate fuck, dude. This is already an R-rated movie, so nobody gets to say you're grooming their snot-nosed brats with it.

So what Did I enjoy?:

I can definitely see some people feeling as though it made the movie feel shallow, but I do like the metanarrative with Deadpool being the MCU's final saving grace. I'm sick of Marvel movies dude, and you probably are too. I haven't been excited about a Marvel film since Endgame, Maybe Shang-Chi, but honestly, I don't know if I would've gone to see that on my own.

Even if I don't think it holds any water in the long run, it's nice to see Marvel acknowledge its criticisms and the problems it's created, and I appreciate the end credits not teasing anything.

Also, saying all this, no one is above nostalgia. I lost my shit when I saw Blade. Okay? This movie has not made me excited for Marvel again, but I will absolutely come to the theater if/when? they release a Blade movie. Although, the way that scene was played, it kind of seemed like that wasn't going to happen...

As irritated as I was with the way Wade and Logan's relationship was handled, I still enjoyed it overall. The thing characters do when they sacrifice themselves for each other and won't let the other one go out on their own? I love that shit, I'm a sucker for it.

Also, Dogpool and Peter. That's it.

I still prefer the 2nd movie overall, but I suppose this is a worthy sequel. I'll give it a solid 7/10

[h-a-unted]

Send 💕 and the mun will say something nice about you, the mun — for me, maybe? 🥺

POSITIVITY MEME!!

NO MAYBES, JUST OF COURSE!! I could gush about you all day, Ladybug!!

I have so many positive thoughts about you, like I can't even think of a negative if I wanted to. Thing is, you're a very good and chill person to be around here with! Not only that, but your muses are always top notch and your writing backs it up perfectly! I always feel like I'm interacting with the actual canon characters! Even your headcanons complete them amazingly! I love your perspectives and thoughts on each character and I wish I could throw you into any fandom 'cause you'd do justice to any character you grew interested in! I can't stress this enough, but being obsessed with the Boys lately and having you around to write about it has helped me so much! Talking about it with you too is so much fun and I'm glad you saw the same potential I did! I'm just as obsessed!

But not only that, your value lies in just who you are as a person. You're considerate, kind, inviting, patient, overall just a delight to be around with. I know I'm not the best rp partner or however you'd call it, but you truly make me feel like I'm special and that I belong here. If it weren't for you, I bet I wouldn't have lasted as long here if at all. I had been so caught up in wanting so many followers and interactions with different people before, that I'd get depressed when I found out my inconsistency pulled people away. You made me realize that I don't need many interactions, even just one good one is enough to be happy and feel fulfilled writing. I always say it, but joining The Quarry rp scene caused me to meet you and I am so fucking happy I joined, because of that. You inspire me not just in rp but out of it. You help me have fun, you spark my creativity with each headcanon, comment, meme, moodboard, song, everything you share, cause I can see you pour your heart and soul into this and you don't need big engagement to love your muses and give your all in every writing.

You do that with anyone, too! You're always willing to give it your all towards other rp partners or rather every rp partner you have! It's amazing and I've seen some awesome interactions around, I wish more people would notice how amazing you are! I know I said lots of engagement is not necessary, but damn, with your talent, I would expect millions of people flocking over you, haha! I won't stop screaming about you, Ladybug! Honestly, you mean a lot to me. You've put me in a positive headspace when it comes to writing here and interacting, you've helped me a whole lot. It's been a year of having you and I am just so delighted. Thank you for not giving up on me despite my shortcomings, I'll keep thanking you immensely for that. I hope this can last for way longer, because I wouldn't want to lose such an amazing friend. And OF COURSE I CONSIDER YOU A HUGE FRIEND OF MINE! Even if we only interact here, you mean a lot to me and I'd love to know you more as time goes by! Love you so very much, Ladybug, hope you never forget that! I'd love to say much more but I'll keep it here, for now! You are great, always and I love you, my beloved, my sacrosanct main!

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

[hello-nichya-here]

Excluding the comics, did Zuko hurt Azula more than she ever hurt him overall? Coz I've been hearing that argument all over the place a lot lately...

Before I can even begin to explain my point of view on that, we need to take a look at how their dynamic works (and how it changed over the years)

In “Ember Island Players” Zuko says their family was happy - a long, long, LONG time ago. We don’t know how exactly Zuko and Azula acted towards each other, but looking just at that line we could maybe assume they behaved more like normal siblings.

In “Zuko Alone”, that family is already miserable 90% of the time and no one was even disfigured yet. Azula is the typical bratty little sister, and while she says some fucked up shit, she doesn’t really do anything that “evil” towards him - her worst offense would be sounding way too happy while telling Zuko their dad is going to kill him, but she did warn him. Even though she’s not really doing much bad shit to him, she’s not really being nice either, except for a ONE SECOND scene of the two of them playing with each other in the garden (we don’t know who asked who to play, or if their mother told them to play together) and that scene of their mother reading them the letter Iroh sent. Zuko deliberately avoids his sister and even though her teasing is usually pretty mild, he quite clearly takes it all very seriously and personally because their father favors Azula, but ignores him. However, Zuko does act a like a proper older brother once or twice (and basically does Ursa’s job of communicating things to the literal 8-year-old better than she did) by saying things like “How would you feel if cousin Lu Ten wanted dad to die?” or “He’s probably just sad that his only son is gone. Forever” when Azula is being insensitive about the idea/reality of their relatives dying.

In “The Storm” the show has a flashback with Azula seemingly enjoying seeing her Ozai burning Zuko’s face. We don’t really know if that reaction was genuine, a result of fear of the consequences if she didn’t react positively to it, or both, but it’s pretty fair to assume that if Zuko somehow found about that reaction, he’d probably be very hurt - but again, we don’t even know if he is aware this happened. What we DO know is that the trauma of that Agni Kai and of his three years of banishment made Zuko very bitter, angry and frustrated, to the point that he is lashing out at everyone (including Iroh, who we know he cares for) for the smallest of things, and he very clearly resents Azula for being their father’s favorite - to the point that he is angry at her for being “perfect”, instead of being pissed off at his father for his unfair standards (which makes sense considering Ozai basically brainwashed him into believing all of his misery is Azula’s fault)

On “Avatar State” Zuko instantly reacts negatively the second he sees his sister. Since she’s there on a mission to capture him, they spent pretty much the entire season being openly hostile to each other. The ONE TIME Zuko says something that might, maybe, perhaps indicate that, on some level, he believes it isn’t right for them to be at each other’s throats since they’re family is when he goes “Uncle, I know what you’re going to say: she’s my sister, and I should try to get along with her” implying someone tried to give him some sense of obligation to his sister (likely Ursa, considering she did agree with Azula’s “We’re brother and sister, we should spend time together”). Iroh then responds not with a understandable warning for Zuko to be careful since the idea of family quite clearly isn’t stopping Azula from trying to capture them, but instead with the infamous and terrible “No. She’s crazy and needs to go down.” Zuko doesn’t argue at all.

In “Crossroads of Destinity” however, Azula genuinely offers Zuko the chance to go home, he only joins the fight when Aang and Katara are cornering her, and she even gives him some emotional support after the battle is won. Unfortunately, in “The Awakening”, because Zuko doesn’t trust her for many reasons (some less valid than others) he lies to her about there being no chance of the Avatar having survived. Azula recognizes that as a lie, feels threatened, and tells Ozai Zuko was the one to kill Aang, so he will be the one who will be punished if he really is alive.

However, during the rest of his short return to the Fire Nation, Azula is being much, much nicer to her brother than she ever did before, warning him to be careful if he’s going to visit Iroh, asking the guys at the beach if they’re not going to invite both her and Zuko to their party, not letting him sulk on his misery at their old beach house, offering emotional support in the form of arson, answering his question about Sozin’s death, and pointing out to him that OF COURSE he’s welcomed at the war meeting - he’s the freaking prince. She still crosses a few lines every now and again and can still be a little bratty, but mostly she seems to have matured quite a lot, and to have no ill will towards him despite their recent conflict prior to Ba Sing Se. Zuko on the other hand, quite clearly still resents her and doesn’t trust her after all that happened, and his behavior is now the reverse of what it was like in “Zuko Alone” - he doesn’t really go out of his way to avoid her anymore, but never really tries to initiate any interaction with her, and he surely doesn’t offer any guidance, however limited.

On “The Day Of Black Sun” Zuko leaves the Fire Nation without so much as leaving a letter to Azula, and he tells Ozai that she was the one who failed to kill Aang - he does it for the sake of honesty, but the result still is that he carelessly told Ozai something that could make him furious at Azula simply because he didn’t understand that there’s a difference between being his favorite and being safe from his wrath. Since they’re on opposing sides again, they go back to constant fighting. In “The Southern Raiders” Azula attacks Zuko with the explicit intent to kill him, yet when he sees her falling “to her death” he looks a bit conflicted... only to then have a 100% negative reaction when she saves herself. In the finale, while the idea was not his, but Iroh’s, Zuko still does not hesitate for a second once given the mission to kill his sister, and while he shows no mercy, the music makes it all sound like a tragedy. The message is pretty clear: while he might not personally want any harm to come to Azula, Zuko sees her as a problem that needs to be solved - all that changes is what kind of problem she is (his personal rival or yet another soldier of the enemy). He also dismisses Azula when she says that she is sorry things have to end that way (she’s also in “battle mode” so to speak, and he is an obstacle to be dealt with), and she was quite clearly being sarcastic... but that line sounds a lot more genuine than even she had probably meant it to be when you consider the context of it all.

It basically comes down to what would be worse for you personally: someone who will (intentionally) do both good and bad things for you, which can be confusing, disappointing, hurtful, and maybe even make you a little paranoid/overly-defensive, or someone who isn’t really putting in any effort, and thus giving you no expectations, but also being frustrating if YOU are putting in effort in bonding with them, and who will also make dumb (but genuine) mistakes due to being too absorbed in their own problems and not understanding that said mistakes also affect you (which leads to them repeating said mistakes, which can be quite infuriating).

This dynamic is part of why I want Zuko to be the one to help Azula. He was too focused on his own issues to notice that his sister was begging for help AND genuinely trying to connect with him, so now that his life is more stable and he has undeniable proof that Azula’s life was NOT the easy, perfect life their father made him believe she had, it is the perfect time for him to open his eyes and try to correct his mistakes - but now Azula is in a position where she doesn’t trust anybody, especially not the older brother who left her, defeated her, and took her crown after she legitimately tried to help him. It’d lead to conflict, growth, and happiness after the storm is over and they manage to make things work at last, and I fucking live for that kind of story.

[skyehigh15]

Fave Sprites in each AA Game: AAI1

(Spoilers for Ace Attorney Investigations 1)

So, this game confuses me. On the one hand, I really enjoy the new gameplay format and third-person movement. It also has some of my favorite character designs. But on the other hand, this is the ugliest Ace Attorney game in the whole series. It's also the weakest in terms of actual plot and cases. And I want you all to know that I have never disliked playing an Ace Attorney case (I enjoy 2-3, 4-3, 6-4, etc) but this is the only Ace Attorney game I would consider bad. First of all, I hate the art style they went for. It's a sort of anime-y style that works well for some characters, but then you have Ernest Amano and Zinc Le Blanc. Well, whatever, we're not here to talk about the negatives (I'll leave that for another time) so let's get into the animations I do enjoy.

(Oh, btw I have other posts on the other games, check them out)

Animation 1:

Kay Faraday. Mhmmm.

As a new character, I kind of don't love her inclusion (I personally think that having Ema be the main assistant would have made much more sense and added a better character dynamic).

But design-wise? She rocks. I love her scarf, and her hair, and her bag, etc. I also really appreciate the new "tiny" sprites that showcase larger actions with the whole character's design being shown. They're cute and chibi and great.

This animation in particular is very punchy (pun intended), and it creates a nice loop. I like how she bounces from side to side before stopping to punch with some nice smears on her jabs.

Final verdict: Kay's writing may not be my cup of tea, but I love how energetic and fun her animations are.

Animation 2:

Another "tiny" sprite and another animation that utilizes smear to showcase a fast action. I think that the reason why smears are so common in this game is because they make the whole animation much easier to read on such a small screen and sprite.

Well, the reason why I chose this animation isn't really thanks to the animation quality, but more so just how fucking cool it is. It's just cool to see Lang calmly catch Franziska's whip seconds before it hits him.

As much as I love Franziska, sometimes it's great to see someone stand up to her while she's acting like a spoiled child.

Animation 3:

We have arrived at my favourite character in AAI; Callisto Yew. She's so great. I love her fairly simplistic design, her carefree attitude towards Edgeworth's dramatic personality, etc. Her laughs are always animated wonderfully. Actually let's move on to the next animation and I'll discuss her a bit more there.

Animation 4:

So, animations 3 and 4 are fairly similar from a conceptual level; it is just Callisto laughing. But they're so amazing because you can almost feel and hear her laughter. In the first one she's cackling loudly and trying to stop herself. In the second animation she's completely out of breath and still letting out a few laughs. Overall her animations are sincere and really charming.

Idk if she's an assassin super spy or whatnot. If she kills me don't blame her: she caught ME slipping.

Animation 5:

I'm SORRY. I'm WEAK and I couldn't HELP IT. I had to put Ema on here and how could I NOT choose the iconic DS sprite (I mean, that's definitely a Nintendo DS, right?). This sprite has a special spot in my heart because my childhood DS, that i still use, is the exact same shade of pink <3

Also I love the small detail of the DS screen being reflected on her glasses, causing that to be one of the few animated things in the whole sprite (the other being her arms and fingers).

Honestly, as much as I dislike most of AAI's art design, the highs are VERY high, and I love Callisto and Ema.

Anyways, next time I'll do AAI2, which I really love a LOT. It's gonna be harder to find animations online, because the website I use only has sprite sheets. If you guys know a good website with a lot of AAI2's animations I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know.

BYE!

[thetaekookcloset]

To change the topic: in Telepathy Part 2, there is a rather interesting dynamic filmed, as Jimin assertively tried playing with Jungkook, which he engaged with a little, but then when Jimin wanted to bump heads, I assume as a gesture of exchanging thoughts, Jungkook backed out and landed by Taehyung's side and they stayed like that, resting on each other for minutes.

Looks like Jungkook wanted to balance this over the top approach out, but otherwise no one seemed bothered. I have always considered Jimin more of a wingman in this dynamic.

He probably is like a tamagotchi who would die without attention, but otherwise very much reserved with people who he could have the potential of getting any criticism from. That's why he lets it all out on Jungkook (without any romantic connotations in my eye). I guess he is more empathic towards his ways. Taehyung for example, would tell him to stop being desperate/tactical, as he half-jokingly told Jin at the table for less. But he is not a controlling a-hole to tell Jungkook how to treat him.

Interesting thoughts!  I noticed a lot of the same things, including the fact that around the same time that Jungkook put his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, he reached for Jimin’s as well, but Jimin happened to be leaning over at that moment, so he was out of reach.  It just goes to show, in my opinion, that even though we see Jungkook pull away from Jimin a lot (or literally run away from him like he did in this episode lol), it’s still clear that Jungkook loves Jimin and the two of them are close.

I really think that sort of push-and-pull thing that they do is just one of the ways that they play.  I feel like Jimin knows he can push Jungkook’s buttons, maybe because Jungkook goes along with it more, as you’ve said, maybe because Jungkook is, culturally speaking, the only member who is younger than him, since Taehyung is considered “same-age.”

Sometimes Jungkook goes along with it more than other times, and who really knows what dictates those changes?  It does read as him feeling uncomfortable to me, but in a playful way that I think Jimin is poking at intentionally.  As I’ve said, it’s obvious Jungkook isn’t actually uncomfortable, in any real way, with just being around Jimin, and the two are clearly good friends.

I don’t really think it’s fair to say that Jimin would die without attention, though I assume you don’t mean that in a negative way really.  I do think he seems to be very extroverted and puts a lot of work into maintaining his relationships within BTS as well as outside of it.  It’s hard for me to guess whether Taehyung would tell Jimin off for doing too much in their interactions though, because their natural inclination with each other already seems pretty extreme to me.  They’re so cuddly and touchy and goofy that it’s hard to imagine Taehyung thinking Jimin is going overboard.

I think you’ve pointed to a distinction between the different relationships in the maknae line though, because it’s true that Jimin doesn’t tease or push Tae in the same way that he does with Jungkook.  What all of that means specifically, we can only make our observations and interpret them through our own lenses.

In any case, I really enjoyed today’s episode so much.  I felt so bad for everyone who ended up going somewhere alone, but the dopamine hit every time a new member joined the group was so delightful.  When Hobi and Yoongi found each other, I was so happy lol.

And of course, Taekook were adorable.  I feel like it’s always nice to see Jungkook reach out to Tae first, and then he was also gazing adoringly at him after their dinner, and my heart fully melted at the look on Tae’s face when Jungkook caught up to the group.  Overall a very fun episode, in my opinion!

[awsuntanz]

a ramble about helium chapter 4 (and dakota’s wonderful characterization)

its 4am, forgive me for any mistakes. i’ve never written anything like this before, aha.

All of these quotes are from Chapter 4 of @heytherestilinski‘s fic Helium!

The way Dakota (the author) fleshes out conflict and allows their painfully realistic characterization to shine is so...perfect. I find myself heavily relating to Dream, George, and even Sapnap at times. 

Here are some lines that I didn’t think would stick out to me (but did):

After a quiet moment, to his soaring heart’s approval, George speaks up again.

This entire kitchen scene portrays that feeling of having a conversation with someone who matters to you. Whether it would classify as something important to someone else or not is irrelevant- to you, in that moment, it feels like you’re holding the world. It’s soft, and tender. You don’t want it to fall flat. You don’t want to let it go. (This scene may or may not have encouraged me to say goodnight to a special someone I was thinking of while reading this).

Sapnap dumps the responsibility of the cart back onto Dream. As he walks past him, he says, “You suck at flirting.”

I really enjoyed the stupid banter between Dream and Sapnap at the grocery store. It not only served as some nice comic relief that kept our guard down before the conflict at the end of the chapter, but it’s also something us readers would definitely hear from (and say to) our friends in real life. Good comic relief is something that eases us in naturally and allows us to immerse ourselves and enjoy the moment while maintaining that element of surprise that keeps us interested :)

He turns away from Dream. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Dream may be less controlled in his emotions and impulses, but he is very open in sharing them. George has more of a filter on everything. Controlled. Not wanting to push Dream (or maybe even himself) off the edge.

“You wanted to this morning,” he says, low.

“Yeah, because we were in your house, not the middle of the grocery store.”  

Rejection. Denial. George’s response holds some truth to it, but comes off as a haphazard excuse at the same time. He doesn’t appreciate the way Dream pushes for that direct confrontation and frankness when it comes to approaching their situation (and honestly? Neither would I). 

George halts to face him again, with a half-whisper, “Not exactly the best place to ambush me, Dream.” 

I like the use of the word ambush here because of the strong negative connotation it implies. It’s as if he’s saying that Dream sought out to make him uncomfortable. As if this was pre-planned and intentional, and not another one one of his silly impulses.

Dream stares at him wildly. “I didn’t ambush you. You brought up your expectations, not me.” His voice grows tight. “Are you seriously still going to act like this?”

We’ve had enough of “Dream, why? Dream, no! Dream, quit being an idiot!” from the readers. This time, he takes that blame and tosses it over to George instead. Conflict grows stronger.

“Like I’m—I’m this stumbling idiot who forces you into every bad situation,” he says. “It’s exhausting, and doesn't make me feel good about myself, and—” He runs a trembling hand through his hair. “It’d be nice if you took some responsibility, for once. That’s all.”

God, I’m so guilty of how George does this to Dream. Taking responsibility isn’t very fun when you feel like the other person is constantly making irrational, immature, and as we’ve established earlier, overall impulsive decisions when it comes to what they say and do. We assume that the other person should be able to understand us- We’ve put up with them for all this time, haven’t we?

Realizing that having a mentality like this is toxic and draining to the other person as well is... difficult. It’s difficult to remember that they’re trying, and that they genuinely care about you too. The very same things that make them irritating are what make them a loving and caring person as well. It takes growth from the both of you to learn and understand each other. And growth takes time.

It’s 4AM at the time I’m writing this, and I’m far too tired to quote the entire phone scene, so I’m going to assume you’ve read it. 

A few lines from George:

“Can...can you stay on, for a bit? Can we just talk?”

“Please, Dream.”

“I just want to hear your voice.”

A few lines from Dream:

“George.”

“Stop,” he warned. “Stop that.”

“Don’t say that.”  //  “What is wrong with you?”

“Fuck, George. Why are you doing this to me?”

The reason Dream brings this up is because it highlights a moment where their general character roles in the fic are switched. In this scenario, it highlights a moment of hypocrisy. George is desperate, and vulnerable. The phone call dialogue showcases him doing something that he knows he shouldn’t be doing. “Can we not talk about this? Can we pretend this phone call didn’t happen?”

Now, plenty of ugly nights and long weeks later, he steps closer to George in the grocery aisle as an unconcerned passerby skirts around their cart and conflict.  

I’m not sure why I like this line. It feels like a gentle reminder that in the grand scheme of things, your conflict is small. Insignificant to the rest of the world, mattering to you two and only you two. Makes everything a bit more personal, I guess.

He looms over him, wishing he could melt the bristling anger from his brown eyes, and wishing he had it in himself to be angry, too.

I relate to both sides of this. That gut-wrenching feeling of not being able to find your own anger at someone who is angry at you. The feeling of knowing that your anger is frustrating and hurting someone else, too. Either way, it feels absolutely terrible.

“You called me,” Dream recounts, even though he can tell George remembers it as vividly as he. “You talked to me.” He lets out a short, frustrated breath. “Then you got mad at me the next morning, and iced me out.”

Doing the same thing that you hated the other person for doing, and taking it out on them afterwards. Yeah.

(dakota. dream. can you pls stop calling me out through george i would really really really appreciate it thank u) /hj /lh 

“Because you let it happen,” George says, but he looks more vulnerable than before.

blame game here we go againnnnn

Dream stares down at him. “So it’s all on my shoulders,” he reiterates flatly. “It’s all my responsibility, now?” 

“Yes,” George spits, his sharpness startling them both. He meets Dream's gaze, unwavering, and recollects himself with a deep breath.

 “Yes. Because you made it your responsibility, when you sent me that text.”

George was ready to throw that blame right back into Dream’s face. When I saw that whole scene in Heat Waves, I realized how much I related to George in that particular situation. I knew it would come back, somehow. George wouldn’t be able to let something as huge as that, something that shifted the entire course of their relationship...slide so easily. Even with Dream’s eventual promise to work on himself. The whole time, I was thinking, “He’s too nice. He’s too patient,” and, “I wouldn’t be that nice. I wouldn’t be that patient. Not on the inside, at least.”

And you didn’t fail me. That final jab, although relatable- It hurt.

Now that the screens are off, the distance is gone, and the barriers are thinner than ever before, George’s flaws are becoming more transparent. We start to see other parts of his character that had only been foreshadowed in your previous work. I had no idea how Helium would unfold at the beginning, but I’m now very sure that you did not disappoint.

Seeing how you’ve evolved as a writer in both more subtle and more noticeable ways has been awesome :) I’m excited for the next chapter.

[professionalsimpfor2dboys]

“Scenting” Obey Me Fluff (slightly sexual)

All demon brothers x Female! MC

Introduction: when in Devildom, MC always knew demons were very different from her human self but she never knew they did something called “scenting” until some random demons did it to her, ensuing a very possessive & peeved off demon brothers

MC sat at her desk as she normally would but quieter than usual, compared to her other classes she’d be surrounded by her demons but this was the only class that she had none of them in. Sighing out of boredom, she hunched over her desk as she waited for the bell to ring but was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. She looked up to meet black eyes that belonged to one of the many demon classmates she had grown used to ignoring.

“Hah! I told you! She finally noticed me!” He cheered cockily at his friends that stood alongside him, each very different from the other. “Jeez, I almost gave up on getting your attention, human,” he winked flirtatiously, which MC just blinked at in an oblivious manner.

“Hey! Just because she noticed you first doesn’t mean she doesn’t see the rest of us either!” The shorter out the bunch yelled out defensively.

“Ah, sorry...? I never realized anyone was trying to get my attention. Could I help you with something?” She questioned, holding a finger to her chin. After multiple lectures from Lucifer and the others but mostly Lucifer she had grown accustomed to not conversing with other demons since she was told they wanted nothing but to eat or hurt her and what idiot was not gonna take that warning? It surprised her that they seemed overall harmless, other than a common spark in the eyes of each of the demons in front of her.

“W-well, it’s not necessarily something you can help with...” a particularly shy-looking demon stepped forward, his black hair covered his eyes like a curtain which he nervously patted at. “W-we have a slight, ahem, fascination with h-humans...particularly y-you,” he trailed off as a taller demon slung an arm around his shoulders.

“Quit beating around the bush! We like you, human! You’re pretty cute!” Said demon announced, winking then continuing to give the shy boy a noogie.

A melodious giggle to their ears erupted from her throat at the slight blushing faces of her previously unknown classmates in front of her. “I’m flattered! I didn’t think I met up to demons’ preferences,” she laughed. MC was happy to be conversing with others for once, not being isolated to just the seven brothers felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders which she hadn’t noticed before and the fact that they found her cute was all the better.

“Nah! Attractive up there is still attractive down here! All we really prefer is that our horns don’t get caught up with each other when kissing and since you don’t have any it’s all the better!” The first demon replied cheerily, patting at her head to get the point across as she laughed. “Not to mention, since you’re human, you have a different type of beauty ‘bout you that we’re not too used to,” he continued, boldly leaning close and tipping her chin upward with a finger.

It was MC’s turn to blush. As her cheeks dusted with a slight pink tone, she couldn’t help but giggle at her classmates’ antics. “You guys are a funny bunch. I like y’all!” she commented happily, smiling at the four demons in front of her. It felt strange to not feel afraid of anyone other than her particular seven demons but not in a negative way. Inside she hoped that this would start a domino effect of others wanting to try striking up a conversation with her, the thought made her feel warm inside. The four stepped back in surprise at her revelation, whilst blushing at her cute smile they all shared a look with one another.

“D-do you mind if we, um, s-scent you...” the shy demon stuttered out as he twiddled his fingers nervously, fearing her reply to such an intimate request. Seeing her head cocked to the side, he quickly tried to explain himself. “A-Ah! We don’t want to fully scent you! Just one rub to show our interest in you is all! We would never fully scent without an established relationship! It’s just to show that we’re trying to court you is all! Y-you don’t even have to accept!” He rambled, jumping forward out of how frazzled he was which revealed his two gold eyes from underneath the curtain of pitch black hair.

“Sorry to interrupt, but what is ‘scenting’ exactly?” She questioned, confused at what it was and why there were different types. Realizing she didn’t know what it meant, the shy demon’s legs gave out from embarrassment as the taller demon caught him, his outbursts seemed to be normal to them.

“Oh, right! You’re human so you don’t know!” The shortest realized, putting his fist in to his other hand. “Hmm, long story short it’s what demons do to show our interest in someone,” he shrugged simply, but a sly glint in his eye as well as the smirk that lifted his lips said something else, which MC didn’t quite catch. “Here! I’ll show ya!” He continued before dipped down and nuzzling his neck against hers just once before pulling away with a satsifactory grin as he inhaled.

“Hey, you’re leaving some things out-“ the black-eyed demon spoke up before the shortest cut him off.

“You don’t mind it, right? It’s completely harmless!” He shrugged, holding his hands up and shaking his head innocently. The other three waited quietly in anticipation.

“I-I guess,” MC nodded which four smiled triumphantly at. The black-eyed demon didn’t waste time in following the prior demon’s actions but with a warmer smile before the taller did the same, a flirtatious lift to his lips. That left only the shy demon to scoot hesitantly close before rubbing his neck against hers. Once. Twice. Before being pulled away by the other three.

“Hey! What are ya trying to do? Don’t be going overboard with the scenting, dumbass!” The tallest reprimanded, holding him by the back of his collar.

“I-I’m sorry! I got carried away! I wasn’t going to do anything more! Promise!” He wailed as the three pulled him out the classroom just as the bell rang, not forgetting to wave at her as they left.

“Strange. I wonder what the brothers will have to say.” She thought to herself.

-

Disappointed but not surprised that the brothers each had plans after school, she walked home alone that day. One would think at least one would stay behind for her safety, but she felt that they were beginning to get too used to having her around and often forgot she was human, which was nice she was so included and familiar to them but annoying nonetheless when she didn’t get to see anyone until dinner. Beel and Satan had after school activities, which she understood as well as Lucifer having his own duties to Lord Diavolo but the other four’s excuses were ridiculous to her. Mammon texted her to inform that he was going to be trying to break into Diavolo’s office at school with the full intent to steal any valuables in there, Levi had shut himself in at some newly opened Internet cafe and refused to even do his online classes there, Belphie had disappeared somewhere most likely in a strange spot sleeping, and Asmo was completely focused on waiting in line at a popular cake store since morning just for what he called the “perfect Devilgram post”.

By the time she had gotten home she had completely forgotten about the whole “scenting” thing and decided to take a shower. She had just gotten out when she heard hurried footsteps leading to her door. Acting quickly, she ran to the door and locked it before anyone could enter and see her in all her naked glory. This was met with a deep “oof” as the person hit the door, expecting it to open, and followed it with loud knocks when it didn’t.

“Oi! Why’s the door locked? Who ya got in there? I can smell ‘em!” Mammon’s voice berated as he incessantly banged at the door, awaiting his human’s answer. He stopped briefly to press his nose against the crack of the locked door as he deeply inhaled to pinpoint the foreign scent before starting back up again. “Oiiii! Who’s scent is that? That ain’t any of my brothers or mine!” He yelled.

“Yeah, because it’s mine! I just got out the shower! Are you a bloodhound or somethin’? Am I not allowed to lock the door or would ya rather see me naked?” She yelled back, annoyed at his questions. Obviously she’s going to smell like her body fragrance after coming out the shower, what kind of question is that?

Blushing at her remark, he stopped knocking but still cocked his head to the side out of confusion. He knew her scent so why did it smell different? Shaking his head, he brushed it off as a new body lotion or something among those lines. “I’ve told ya! Demons have got a stronger sense of smell than ya humans! Anyways, I’m on dinner duty and it’ll be done in thirty minutes so I expect ya down here right when it’s done! The Great Mammon’s food shouldn’t be kept waiting, alright?” He stated.

“Yeah, yeah! I’ll be down there when I’m ready to!” She answered angrily, his questioning from earlier and the fact that he abandoned her to try breaking into Diavolo’s office instead taking play.

-

She took her time after that, knowing fully well that dinner was ready and the others were sat waiting for their beloved human that they neglected all day to come down and eat with them. By the time she came down, they had all been seated and Beel was already on his fifth plate which didn’t take him long mind you.

“Ah, better late than never, I suppose,” Lucifer commented teasingly, noting her damp hair as her excuse.

“Hurry up and eat before Beel devours it all!” Mammon ushered at the seat in front of him, he usually sat beside her but the twins had beat him to it since there was only one seat she preferred to sit at.

Taking her usual seat, she began to eat but it wasn’t long before a faint but definitely there foreign scent emanated from her. Reaching Belphie first while Beel was too busy stuffing his face with food. It roused him from his short slumber he decided to take at the dinner table, as he inched forward towards his human’s neck. She jumped when she felt his nose pressed against her nape as he inhaled and pulled away with a disgruntled look on his face.

“Why do you smell like that?” Belphie sneered. At this point, the smell had reached Beel as well and he promptly stopped his feasting to investigate. He followed Belphie’s actions but on the opposite side, deeply inhaling before quickly pulling away with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah...you smell like someone else,” Beel growled, surprising her at the tone of his voice. The smell wafted towards the other brothers as well and it wasn’t long before they were all on their feet, surrounding her with quizzical expressions while each taking turns of two to sniff at her exposed neck as she sat red-faced at the attention. She knew she was a bit petty from being neglected earlier but she didn’t expect this much attention at once!

“I knew I smelt something-someone earlier!” Mammon said as he angrily took another whiff, which only peeved him off more.

“How strange,” Satan hummed, a smile on his face that she knew masked his anger all too well. The brothers tried to rack their brains from what the scent could be from before Levi suddenly gasped.

“S-she’s been scented!” He revealed before dipping down yet again to smell. “And by, what seems like, multiple demons!” He continued, an angry flush against his cheeks. All the brothers looked at each other before returning their attention back to MC, who sat looking dazed in her chair.

“Now, now, lets give her space,” Lucifer commanded, waving his hand for his brothers to step away. “Care for an explanation, darling?” He questioned, the glint in his eye and slight furrow of his forehead outing his subdued anger as he felt a crack in his pride that some lowly demon, multiple in fact, had scented his human and she allowed it. He held a threatening but gentle hand on her shoulder as she tried her best to rack her brain to recall why she would smell like someone else. A lightbulb lighting up in her brain when she finally recalled.

“Ah! I talked to four classmates of mine for the first time and they mentioned something about ‘scenting’, I didn’t really understand it and next thing I knew they were doing it so that’s probably why!” She explained, looking up at the brothers with innocent eyes that made their hearts squeeze. So, she didn’t know.

“And what did they tell you about it exactly?” Lucifer questioned further.

“Hmm, they said demons do it to show their interest in someone? Something about courting?” She replied.

“Aw, my poor darling! Taken advantage like that!” Asmo cooed as he threw his arms around her.

“O-oh, did they lie?” She asked sheepishly.

“More like gave ya half-truths!” Mammon answered as he ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. “Satan, explain,” he sighed, waving his hand.

“Well, while what they said was true it was very vague and not all of it. Scenting is when a demon claims one as their own, it’s territorial and tells other demons to back off or else there’s gonna be...problems,” Satan explained in a matter-of-fact manner.

“They mentioned something about not ‘fully’ scenting. What’s that?” She asked.

“Ah, if they did that we’d have their heads,” he chuckled out evilly before resuming his explanation calmly which made her shiver. “Fully scenting is when demons claim one as their mate. It creates a tether between them more romantically intimate than a pact and is stronger smelling than normal scenting. The one who was scented on can also release distress signals when in danger and it’ll alert the other demon almost right away,” he ended.

“A-Ah, so there was more to it,” she laughed weakly, realizing how dumb she was before.

“Hm, yes. Well, it seems that we’ll have to further stake our claim on our human here. Luckily we’re powerful demons, so we can easily break this mediocre scenting,” Lucifer stated before pressing his lips against her neck and harshly sucking, causing a gasp to leak out her lips. He pulled away and smirked at the bright hickey that bloomed on her neck as well as the fading scent that was on her.

“I agree,” Mammon monotoned as he did the same, finding her sweet spot almost instantly as he suckled and kissed on it to leave a deep bruise. “How dare they put their disgusting scent on my human?” He growled against her. She covered her mouth to muffle her voice, but Levi pulled them away.

“I don’t think so,” he tsked, nibbling at her jaw and smirking against her as she gasped at the feeling of his bite on her skin.

“We’ll be covering you with these,” Satan spoke against her, dipping to her clavicle to leave yet another hickey as he circled his tongue around it.

“We’ll put it in places you can’t cover and make it so dark no makeup could make a dent!” Asmo giggled mischievously as he aimed for where her jugular was, causing her to shiver.

Beel licked his lips at the sight of her as he took it upon himself to bite new territory, which was her shoulders. “This is better than when I wanted to eat you when we first met,” he mumbled lowly, lapping at the bite marks he left on her to soothe them.

“Ah, hardly any room for me,” Belphie muttered before taking a bite at the top of her chest, her jumping up as a reaction making him smile smugly.

Oh, how was she was going to avoid prying eyes at school tomorrow?

I’m a whore for scenting so I wanted to give it a go! I think ima make this a series since they didn’t fully scent on her just yet & will probs make a part for each of my bois, Mammon being first of course! Oh and I’m definitely gonna make them smutty because duh probably start off being some fluffy cute cuddles & then progress to absolute ravaging ;) interested?

Oh and what do y’all think of the demons I made up for this story? I kinda like their personalities & antics together idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

hey so i'm hoping to get some writing advice about creative burnout? like i seem to write in fits and spurts. some months i can churn out a oneshot or chapter everyday and some months i can do one (1) creative thing only. so i'm wondering how to prevent creative burnout and how to just create more smoothly <3 thank you!

Creative Burnout & How To Ward Against It

First, I’d like to preface this all by saying you’re definitely not alone. You probably already know this, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I know from personal experience that creative burnout can leave you feeling hopeless, detached from yourself—the kind of identity crisis no one needs in 2020. 

So buckle in, folks. It’s a dosy.

I. The Symptoms

Not to be the local WebMD page here, but signs of burnout can include:

Procrastination (more than usual)

Dreading writing and feeling stuck or overly perfectionistic when you try

Physical tiredness and/or irritability

Feeling like everything is monotonous

It’s more than just writer’s block. It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion response to something that goes deeper than a simple lack of inspiration. In my experience, and from a bit of research, I’ve found that what your brain is really looking for is dopamine.

Dopamine is essentially your brain’s chemical reward system for doing something interesting or exciting to you. As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD, I have chronically low levels of dopamine, so this is a constant struggle for me—but it is absolutely made worse by creative burnout.

II. The Problem

Studies have shown that the more we do A Thing the less that thing will give us dopamine (unless a component of the activity changes regularly). This is because eventually our brains desensitise to the stimuli provided by the activity, and subsequently, we become disengaged.

But it’s not necessarily The Thing (i.e. writing) that becomes boring. Actually, more than a few factors could be at play here, and the first step to finding a solution is to identify the problem.

1. ENVIRONMENT LACKS EXCITEMENT/CHANGE—

Sometimes, the monotony of everyday life can feed creative burnout. This becomes especially applicable in quarantine when you’re not leaving your house.

What we don’t realise is that even something as small as the variables of driving to and from work, or interacting with passing coworkers, gives us dopamine. So if you have the same routine every day that does not involve any added variables, your brain will begin staunching that dopamine supply.

2. EITHER TOO EASY OR TOO CHALLENGING—

In 1975, Hungarian-American psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term “flow”, which refers to a heightened state of creativity and concentration on an activity. Csikszentmihalyi posited that if your skill level is equal to the level of challenge in any given activity, you will experience this state of flow.

The chart below is taken from Csikszentmihalyi’s own study on the subject of flow and motivation. It examines “your skill level” on the x axis in relation to the “challenge level” on the y axis.

Essentially:

Too much challenge + not enough skill = anxiety, worry (which might lead to procrastination and perfectionism)

Too much skill + not enough challenge = boredom, apathy (which might lead to monotony, irritability, and other depression-like symptoms)

Skill level = Challenge level = Flow

3. NOT ENOUGH “ACTIVE” STIMULATION—

When it comes to dopamine seeking, there is a distinct difference between active and passive stimulation in the brain.

Active stimulation is any form of activity that you have to actively engage in. For instance; exercising, doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book. These kinds of activities not only give you dopamine, they also facilitate critical thinking and problem solving thought processes, which act as catalysts for creativity.

Passive stimulation, on the other hand, comes in the form of television, social media, and YouTube. It’s anything you can consume without having to actively engage. Passive stimulation will indeed give your brain dopamine, however, it won’t activate your creativity.

The problem also lies in the speed at which you receive the dopamine from passive activities. Passive stimulation is so easy to access that the more you consume, the harder it becomes to pick up active stimulation. Your brain expects a hit of dopamine just by picking up a phone or turning on the TV—it becomes addicted to the quick fix of a Netflix binge.

III. The Solutions

Based on the problems mentioned above, I am going to list a few solutions. Keeping in mind that not every solution will work for everyone, these can act as both preventative measures and remedies for someone who is currently burned out.

1. CHANGE UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT/ROUTINE—

Aim to do at least one thing per day that will add “variables” to the monotony. This can be as simple as going on a long walk, dressing up in that bold outfit you always wanted to wear to the office but never did, or sitting at a different workspace in your home.

Anything you can do that’s simple, but might provide an extra variable to your day to spice things up. Note: this shouldn’t be the same thing every day.

2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF MORE—

If you find yourself bored by your work, try challenging yourself more. This could mean setting goals for yourself that go a bit beyond what you’ve been doing. 

For example, if you’ve been writing 500 words per day, see if you can beat your own word count every day for the next week. If you’ve been writing mainly fluff pieces, switch it up and do an angst piece. See if you can write a book in a month, or start a blog where you don’t write fiction at all!

Anything you can do to add a little kick to your workload. Note: Beware of challenging yourself too much! This can lead straight back into burnout.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF LESS—

If you’re on the flip side of that coin, and find that you are anxious, procrastinating, and perfectionistic when it comes to writing, fret not. Just because you’re experiencing any of these things, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing the job with your skillset.

It just means your perception of the job needs to be shifted.

Procrastination, at its heart, is a fear of failure, which results in actively avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task that causes this fear. Perfectionism is a type of procrastination that is a combination of a fear of failure and a fear of success (or, more accurately, other’s critiques of your success) all at once.

Neither have anything to do with your actual skillset, but they have everything to do with your perception of your skillset. Obviously, this is a harder thing to fix, as it has to do with deeply ingrained levels of self-esteem.

What I can offer you is a tactic to trick your mind into thinking you’re capable.

If you have a task, big or small, and you are feeling overwhelmed by it (like you might go curl up in bed and scroll Tumblr), immediately break that task up into smaller tasks. Keep breaking up the smaller tasks until you have the smallest possible part of the bigger task without doing nothing.

Then do that smallest possible thing.

If your goal is to write a 2000 word one shot, a small part of that task is writing half of it. An even smaller part of that task is breaking the one shot up into “scenes” and writing one scene. For instance:

Jude wakes up to a sore throat, a runny nose, and a fever.

She tries to go to work, but Cardan, being the mother hen that he is, threatens to never make her another grilled cheese sandwich (her favourite food) ever again if she doesn’t stay home.

Jude agrees begrudgingly, and Cardan sits her down in front of the TV with a bottle of Gatorade. He leaves to go get medicine from the store.

When Cardan comes back, Jude is worse than before. He makes her soup and saltine crackers and spoon feeds her.

She complains the whole time and, in her feverish state, threatens to never buy him another bottle of wine (his favourite food) ever again if he doesn’t let her feed herself.

Each bullet point represents one “scene” of about 200-400 words each. Obviously, there will be more details that you work out as you write. But with these five smaller scenes, your goal is no longer writing the 2000 word one shot. Your goal is writing the first of the five scenes.

If you complete the smallest possible task, you can stop, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished something because you can cross off that task from your list. But chances are, by the time you cross off one task, you may have inspiration enough to keep going.

4. ENGAGE IN ACTIVE STIMULATION—

Since active stimulation has been proven to turn on the creative “tap”, try incorporating more of these activities into your daily routine:

Exercise: As the resident couch potato, I hate to say that exercising is good for creativity, but it is. Even if it’s just going on a short walk, so long as you’re moving.

Reading: Sometimes you have plenty of ideas, but no words to fit those ideas. Fill your well of words by carving out an hour or two each day for reading a good book.

The Creative Process: In the writing world, the creative process is a process of about 20-30 minutes that the writer partakes in every day before they start writing. This process should be creative, but also have nothing to do with writing. You can try colouring in a colouring book, painting, organising a page in your bullet journal. Anything that is creative but does not make you think about everything you have to do that day. Think of it as creative meditation.

Listen to music: Having APD, I personally can’t listen to music while I write. However, studies have shown that if you listen to at least ten songs per day, it will significantly benefit your dopamine levels and overall mood. If you’re like me and prefer to work in silence, maybe stick on a couple songs during your creative process. If you can manage music and writing together, get out those headphones!

5. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE—

I know this is the most cliche point in the book, but it’s valid. This doesn’t mean do the same thing at the same time every day over and over, because ultimately we’re looking to avoid monotony. 

But having pillars of structure to bolster the excitement can definitely work to keep you from slipping into burnout. Going to sleep, waking up, and having your meals at relatively the same time every day are good examples of this. 

Feel free to change up the things you do between breakfast and lunch, but make sure you have those pillars of consistency so your brain knows that a break is on the horizon and doesn’t get tired.

6. PACE YOURSELF—

This is particularly difficult for those of us who are coming out of a creative burnout, but I urge you to pay special attention to this one. If we are suddenly hit by inspiration and the writing is flowing and flowing and flowing, eventually we will hit the point of highest dopamine capacity for writing.

Not putting a check on the flood of inspiration coming out of a creative burnout, I’d argue, is actually a guarantee that many of us will experience burnout all over again. It becomes this vicious cycle in which we are trapped.

While it feels great to write non-stop and receive immediate validation for that work, try to limit yourself to how much you’re writing and how immediately you post your writing (if you plan on posting it).

Whenever I finish a one shot or a chapter of something, I like to allow at least one day for editing before I post. This timeframe is important, because it acts as a buffer of rest between writing marathons. 

You can take however long you need for the editing process, but definitely make sure you have a set amount of time in place. Otherwise, your brain might not have enough time to come down from what is essentially a writing high, and you will always need to reach greater heights in order to achieve that same level of dopamine.

~~~~

Overall, the most important things to take away from all of this are: 

Change up your environment

Keep your brain actively stimulated 

Have pillars of structure between which you can run about chaotically to your heart’s content

PACE YOURSELF!

Hope this helped. Happy writing!

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Tip Masterlist

Fic Masterlist

Celebrate 2K with me!

[animeyanderelover]

You know what sounds like a interesting dynamic A-chan? Sasuke with a darling who's Orochimaru's Daughter (or more like favored/talented experimental clon baby of some sort XD). It may or may not also involve a platonic/parental!yandere Orochi. I am just really interested in what do you think such dynamic would be like and how it would go down.

That’s...that’s a great idea🤩!!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, possessiveness, violence, manipulation

Sasuke’s darling is parental!Orochimaru’s favorite

🐍💙To go up in the ranks that far to make Orochimaru consider you as someone he favors you’ll have to possess either a kekkai genkai or a special jutsu that hardly anyone else can master. In short, you’ll have to be powerful and need to come willingly to him or else it’ll turn out less pleasant.

🐍💙If also possible you should hold some knowledge and also interest in experimenting with many things, maybe even humans because then your usefulness for him would only raise and you’ll be most likely made an assistant for him, similar to Kabuto and he’ll ask you from time to time if you can sort these papers out for him or can help Kabuto or even himself with a potion.

🐍💙The more useful you prove yourself to be, the more “attached” Orochimaru would become to you. And at one point you’ll reach the time where Orochimaru will have made up his mind that losing you would be “quite the problem” because you’ll be “so hard to replace”. Take this as a sign that he likes you and would be highly upset with himself if you should ever die.

🐍💙His behavior that he cares for you more than he did ever for anyone else in his life isn’t very noticeable at first due to him just being a bit too twisted to realize that he cares, in a somewhat twisted way, for you. But if you look closely you’ll eventually pick up the signs. Orochimaru isn’t someone who would stop you from going on dangerous missions. He has trust in your abilities, but it isn’t everyday that he tells someone to be careful, even if his way of telling so is a bit strange. But he’s not very experienced in being nice. That’ll be by the way the biggest way of you noticing that he cares. He’s, in his own way, “nice” to you. He viewed you as a special collection.

🐍💙The moment Sasuke joined this picture Orochimaru needed to introduce the two of you at some point to each other. It was in some sense thrilling for him to introduce you to Sasuke and the other way around because the both of you were for him prized collections.

🐍💙Sasuke needs time to fall for someone in the first place so at the beginning he was just his usual mean self around you, impolite and snarky. Not like you didn’t possess some amount of pride in you, as well as your way of provoking others the same way Orochimaru did, spending so much time with him did teach you something after all. So at the beginning you probably ticked Sasuke a lot off.

🐍💙What brought the both of you closer together was the fact that Orochimaru suggested that the both of you trained together a bit. Sasuke is an Uchiha and most Uchiha are in general faster attracted to power. It’s the fastest way to catch their attention. I can see Sasuke a bit annoyed by the fact that you were strong in the beginning if we go with the assumption that you are on the teasingly and cruel side of joking and provoking someone.

🐍💙But at some point it’ll form into acknowledgment because Sasuke likes a challenge after all. If you’re strong you’ll spark his curiosity at some point, but I believe the thing that’ll fascinate him the most at the end of the day is the fact that, even though more subtle, he can see that Orochimaru likes you. That’ll cause him to quirk an eyebrow at first because he didn’t expect Orochimaru to care for someone. And not because of selfish reasons. He’ll notice the way Orochimaru talks high about you when around him, calling you a “special case”, “important” and “a rare possession”. He’ll also notice the way Kabuto acts very politely around you even though from positions the both are equals. The biggest sign for him that Orochimaru cares for you as someone important for him is that you’re a.) the only person who seems to have a lot freedom, including acting more reckless with Orochimaru himself and him not seeming to mind that much as long as you don’t go overboard, and b.) that Orochimaru expects that people treat you with some respect as well.

🐍💙Even Sasuke won’t be save from Orochimaru’s “overprotectiveness” from time to time. He knows that you can handle a lot, but there are those days where Sasuke just needs to let off some steam and will be very harsh in training, causing more damage to you than normally. And whilst Orochimaru will never be open about it, Sasuke will still be able to hear the subtle threat in his voice when he advices him to get a better grip when training with you. It would be a shame if he would lose someone as valuable as you.

🐍💙Given the fact that his darling is around Sasuke’s age the both of them will end up spending sooner or later a lot of free time together that will be spend with other things besides training. Especially for the darling this will be nice since I don’t want honk they met other people their age who lasted long enough. So Sasuke would be somewhat like their first real friend since joining Orochimaru.

🐍💙Sasuke needs time to form an obsession and at first he most likely only saw the darling as a worthy opponent and companion. I think he would like someone who accepts the fact that he isn’t the most talkative and can just spend time in silence with him and also accepts it when he needs his time alone.

🐍💙Sasuke isn’t someone who has never given the thought of him falling in love too much time. He was focused his whole life on getting stronger and his revenge. So it would take him by surprise when discovering his feelings. He has some pride, but I can see, given the circumstances, that he won’t try to deny his emotions that strongly like he would in a different situation. He knows his s/o and trusts them already very highly since the both of them spend very much time together. Since being a fan of power he has also a easier time viewing them as a worthy partner.

🐍💙And just like Sasuke caught onto Orochimaru’s caring behavior, Orochimaru will also notice quickly Sasuke’s way of acting around the darling. He’s in general someone who’s a keen observer when it comes to his “two precious gems”. The biggest sign was that Sasuke often snapped at Kabuto since that guy worked closely together with the s/o when it came to the topic experimenting. Another thing that didn’t go unnoticed was that Sasuke acted suddenly a lot more friendly around them in comparison to the first time. It was harder to notice, but it was there.

🐍💙Sasuke wouldn’t really know what to feel. Not because he fell for the darling, but more because he doesn’t know what to think about the relationship between them and Orochimaru. Orochimaru would feel similar. He never really cared that much for others and I can see him to some degree even fascinated and amused by the fact that Sasuke likes the darling. But there are also some unsure thoughts inside of him. He cares for the s/o, his worries would show themselves in thoughts of asking himself whether this will have a negative effect on their development or if it’ll cause their priorities to shift somewhere else. And maybe he’s the tiniest bit of a “shotgun” parental Yandere, meaning he doesn’t really like the thought of his darling being in a relationship with someone.

🐍💙As weird as it may sound, this situation would be the perfect one for the darling if Sasuke is Yandere for them. Because I can see both of them becoming a semi-normal couple in such a situation. Because Sasuke has in this situation not the most upper hand. The darling is strong, savage and also under Orochimaru’s watch so no too serious harm that could endanger their life comes near them. Not only that, but since they’re always with Orochimaru, there’s no need for Sasuke to kidnap them and he built during his time with Orochimaru a strong relationship with them. So instead of confessing to his darling by kidnapping them he’ll actually, after jumping over his arrogance, confess in a normal way as good as he’s able too. And there’s a good chance that his darling will accept that. If not then there isn’t too much that Sasuke can do. They’re strong and have Orochimaru watching over them.

🐍💙No way that they can hide this from Orochimaru. Here again, mixed feelings about this. Orochimaru isn’t necessarily against this, but he also isn’t a real supporter of this. He won’t do anything for now, choosing to see how this develops. If it does influence the darling’s or Sasuke’s development in a negative way no question that he would step in. But if it doesn’t? He might be the tiniest bit unhappy with it, but if it helps the both of them becoming stronger he’ll accept it. There will be moments where his more “parental” side slip through, but he’ll give the both of them their peace.

🐍💙Overall the best situation you could ask for. You live under psychos and see nasty shit, sure. But in here a, for the most part, normal relationship with Sasuke will establish due to the faith he has in You and you most likely also in him. He has his mood swings, of course, but you know in such a scenario when to step back and what to do. That’s a huge advantage because like this the chances that he’ll snap at you are lower as if he kidnapped you and you would need to face this blindly. But due to the time spent before with him you know how to act accordingly. Sasuke himself will be much more pleasant to be with and sees you as a worthy partner. He might even be a bit more open with his feelings due to feeling so comfortable around you. Overall, a win-win situation for the both of you. And Orochimaru because the both of you will for sure spur the other on in terms of getting stronger. And let me just emphasize this, if the both of you fight together then there’s no chance that Sasuke will let anyone hurt you too badly. He knows firsthand that you’re strong, but if someone should manage to do this then they should be prepared to witness what happens if Sasuke loses his temper and starts seeing red.

[karlajoyner]

Tease (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so this was requested. I hope you guys enjoy it! And send in your own request!

Requested by: @universefangirl (Tumblr)

Warnings: Smut (18+)

————

I sighed typing away frustratedly at my computer attempting to get my work done for the night. Taking another sip of my wine I looked over to the couch to see my boyfriend scrolling through his phone.

"You know? It must be nice being a paid actor during a pandemic" I spoke catching his attention. A grin began to form on his face as he stood up making his way over to me in the kitchen.

"It has its perks. Can't say the same about you baby" He teased rubbing my shoulders. I rolled my eyes continuing to type away.

"You know you could take a break" He whispered getting near my ear.

"I can't. If I don't get this is by tonight I'm so fired"

"Fine. I'm just gonna go live for a bit. And relax afterwards. I'm pretty busy tomorrow"

"Yes Charles getting to sleep in and doing a live interview late afternoon sounds so exhausting. Meanwhile I have a term paper for English due and on top of that I have to do two more sets of these for work" I spoke holding up my papers.

"For your information I'm going on a hike tomorrow morning. Then I'm going live" He said another deep breath leaving my mouth.

"Aww baby. It's okay"

"Is it though?" I asked frustrated at his lack of sympathy. I love him and all but he seems to forget that his totally normal girlfriend works a 9 to 5 and still goes to college. And as much as I appreciate the times he said he could put in a good word for me with Kenny. I refused to be exposed in the spotlight more than I already was for being his girlfriend.

"I'm sure you can do it. You always do"

"Your right. I'm amazing. I don't know what you'd do without me" I joked trying to lighten up my own mood more than his.

"I don't either. I'd miss you too much" He said placing kisses just below my ear.

"Hmm really? Care to find out Gillespie?" I asked biting my lip. This was my opportunity to get him back where it hurt.

"What do you mean?" I smirked continuing to do my work. Without another word leaving my mouth.

“Baby. What do you mean?" He asked again standing up.

I stayed quiet as he repeated the question a few more times finishing up what I was doing. I had to get through all my stuff for school and work tonight if I wanted tomorrow to go as planned.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Glancing over at the clock I smiled. On schedule. I moved over to the empty spot beside me with a grin. Charlie was really in for it today.

I quickly got up making the bed when my phone suddenly dinged. I smiled seeing it was a good miring text from Charlie himself.

“Good morning my love. Just finished my hike. On my way home with coffee.

“I'll see you in a bit baby" I read aloud. I smiled at the cute detail before continuing on with my plan.

Changing into yoga pants and a sports bra I made my way to the living room setting up for a morning workout. Something I rarely got to do since my second term started and I became ambushed with work. It'd been nearly half an hour before I heard the front door open. The smell of coffee carrying itself through the small apartment.

"Baby your awake" He stated taking in my appearance. No doubt the sweat droplets on my body making me look shiny as hell.

"Yeah. I finished all my work last night so I figured I'd have a day to myself. I did a morning work out and I'm gonna do more things I haven't done in a while" I smiled innocently.

"Mmm am I one of those things by any chance?" He smirked pulling me close. Placing a kiss to my sweaty forehead.

"You wish. Actually I invited y/b/n over. We were thinking of painting to clear our minds"

"Oh but you can't paint looking like this. So sweaty. So wet" He whispered rubbing circles on my hips.

"Yeah I'll probably hop in the shower in a bit" I grinned before pulling away to go finish my workout.

“You know I need to shower too. What if we hop in together? To save water"

"Um I don't know. Can you keep your hands to yourself Gillespie?" I asked bending down in front of him to stretch.

"I can't answer that" He growled coming to stand behind me. As soon I felt his hands on my waist I stood up turning around to face him.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk" I whispered pulling back.

“What baby? Why won't you let me touch you?" He whined.

"Because it's my only free day and I'm going to enjoy it babe" I said placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips before walking away.

"Where are you going?" He called.

"To shower"

"Can I join?"

"If you can keep your hands away" I heard him groan as I shut the bathroom door behind me. Giggling to myself I entered the shower washing myself down.

Purposely forgetting to bring in an outfit. Knowing Charlie didn't enter for a reason I called out for him after I was clean.

"Charlie!" I shouted waiting for him to come in.

"Yes baby?"

"Can you bring me some clothes please?”I asked peeking my head out the curtain.

"Can I touch you?" He asked.

"Uh how about no"

"Then no" He said hoping that would get a reaction out of me. It didn't.

"Fine. If you insist" I spoke shutting the water off. Within a matter of seconds I exited the shower. Feeling his eyes piercing through me.

"Close your mouth. Your gonna catch flies" I said wrapping my towel around my body.

"Mm baby you don't know what your doing to me" He moaned out.

"I don't? Or do I?" I asked opening the door further so I could slip past him. Heading to the bedroom I smiled to myself knowing it was working.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rushing over I peeked through the hole to see y/b/n standing there. Thankful both of our COVID tests came out negative I smiled welcoming her inside.

"Hey y/n/n"

"Y/b/n!" I shouted happy to see her after so long.

"So how's he doing?" She asked knowing all about my plan.

"Not good. I love him I really do but paybacks a bitch. I can't wait til his interview" I smirked walking her to my room.

I was quick to change into a cute matching set with only one of his band shirts layering on top.

"Wow. He's gonna be drooling"

"That's the plan. Thanks for doing this again"

"Its no problem. What are best friends for? Just promise me you'll give me every detail tomorrow. You know after he breaks"

"I promise" I said as we both giggled exiting the room. We made our way towards the living room pulling out the supplies she had brought over for our eventful day.

Y/b/n and I enjoyed each other's company for a while. Catching up on our new quarantine rituals. It wasn't long before Charlie came out of the restroom completely shirtless with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I bit my lip coming back to reality when y/b/n bumped my shoulder.

"Y/b/n. You're here" Charlie said running his fingers through his hair. He knew what he was doing.

"Yeah. I came to spend time with my best friend. Did you see her today by the way?" Y/b/n said taking my hand and playfully spinning me around. I chuckled at her antics realizing she'd done it on purpose to give him a full view of what I was wearing. If something drove Charlie Gillespie crazy. It was me wearing his band tees.

"I didn't. Thank you for that" Charlie spoke sending daggers through me.

"I hope you don't mind. I barrowed your shirt to paint. I can change if you wa-"

"No! No no baby keep it on. It looks amazing on you" He said a small smile playing at his lips.

"Thanks baby. When's your interview?"

"In like 20 minutes. I'm gonna go get ready"

"Sounds good. We'll be on the balcony painting. That good?"

"Of course baby" I smiled walking out on the hard cemented area placing down our stuff.

We specifically chatted those 20 minutes waiting for Charlie to come out of the bedroom.

"I'm going live" Charlie called through the screen door.

"Okay good luck" I called back. I saw him send me a wink before setting up his phone where the sun was hitting him perfectly.

"This is perfect" I whispered to y/b/n as we pulled out our paints.

"I know. I can't believe he set himself up right there" She whispered back. I giggled pulling out the pastel pink from the bag.

"Charlie!" I heard the interviewer shout. My boyfriend clearly estatic.

"Hey man what's up?"

"What's up with me? What's up with you? Your our first cast member of the day. So for starters we wanna know what's up with you?"

"Nothing much man. I mean I've been writing a lot recently"

"Oh yeah can we be expecting any music coming out soon away from the Julie and the Phantoms band?"

"Uh no. That's kind of where I'm at right now which is amazing you know? Working with such great cast and bandmates it's great"

"Sounds like it. So where do you get inspiration from during this whole new situation we're in? It must get boring"

"Uh it does at times when I'm alone. Which is rare since I've been quarantining with my girlfriend. She's amazing company and overall my biggest inspiration"

"Girlfriend? Are you guys at her place or yours?"

"Hers man. I didn't wanna disturb her peace but she insisted and it's just been amazing. I love her" He said my heart fluttering at his words. I looked over at y/b/n to see her smirking at me.

"What about your cast? Do they know her?"

"Oh yeah. Like my family, they absolutely love her which is great. You know their approval means a lot to me so it's nice that everyone gets along with her just fine"

"That's good to hear so moving back to your music" The interviewer continued changing subjects. With his wholesome answers I almost felt bad denying him my touch today. And almost felt bad what I'd be doing next.

Almost.

After about 15 minutes I began to laugh at nothing signalling it was go time. I glanced back see Charlie staring up at us. Clearly trying to focus on the interviewer speaking. Clearly.

"Stop!" I whisper shouted at my best friend who splattered pain on me. I repeated her actions earning a giggle from the girl.

Suddenly I felt a cold sensation hit me. She had thrown our water cup at me in return I splattered more paint towards her. Trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"No yeah thanks man. I had fun" I heard Charlie say. Signifying the interview was nearly over.

"No thank you. Charlie Gillespie everyone. Up next Owen Patrick Joyner!" The man shouted before the living room went silent.

"Done?" I asked turning back to look indoors. The door screen being the only thing between us and the indoors.

"Yeah. What happened?"

"I don't know y/b/n what did happened?" I asked the girl in a teasing voice. Moving back slowly letting the sun hit my body. The white shirt on my body becoming see through.

"Cover up baby"

"Y/b/n doesn't mind right babe?" I asked her.

"Nope. We've been best friends forever Charles. I know her inside out. I also know you should probably get changed out of that"

"Or I could just do this" I replied removing the shirt from my body altogether. I watched as Charlie's jaw dropped in surprised.

"Cute set. Victoria secret?"

"Pink" I answered walking into the living room.

"Huh. I would've never guessed. Oh shoot it's already 5:00 o'clock? I should get going. I have to get to Dylan's house. Do you need help cleaning up?"

"No!" Charlie shouted before I could answer.

"No. We've got it y/b/n. No worries"

"Thanks guys" She smiled pulling me into a hug then Charlie. I watched as he walked her towards the door.

Not knowing which one was rushing more him or her.

"Thanks for coming!" I called out grabbing some paper towels to wipe off the water still on my body.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Charlie asked once the door shut.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You've been such a bad girl"

“Me?" I asked looking behind me jokingly knowing I was the only one here.

"Teasing me all damn day. Having y/b/n come over to be a cock block. And then pulling that little stunk during my interview"

"I don't know what your going on about Charles. I didn't know y/b/n name was gonna- Ahhh" I squealed feeling his strong arms wrap around me from behind lifting me up.

"Charlie!" I shouted as he carried me towards the bedroom.

"Yes?" He questioned when he put me down on the bed gently.

"Seriously?" I asked ask he removed his shirt.

"Seriously" He confirmed moving in to kiss me. It was gentle at first but that gentleness soon became hunger. From both ends we fought for dominance. Tired of fighting I gave in as he pushed me further up the bed.

"Charlie please" I pleaded beginning to palm him through his jeans. Feeling him get harder by the second.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Not yet" He whispered making me whine. He chuckled before speaking once more in a hushed tone.

"Now are you gonna tell daddy exactly why you teased him all day?" I groaned knowing there was no way of getting out of this one.

"Nope" I said hoping to move on.

"Mm I don't like the sound of that" He said removing his jeans. I moaned seeing his full body. He was too hot for his own good.

"Now are you gonna tell me or should I return the punishment" I internally groaned not in the mood to be teased.

"I-I just feel like you forget sometimes that I have so much on my plate. And maybe sometimes you could be insensitive about it" I muttered the last part hoping he wouldn't hear. But judging by his features softening he had heard every word.

"I make you feel that way?" he asked caressing my cheek.

"Not all the time but yeah sometimes"

"Baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" He mumbled placing soft kisses on my lips.

"I guess I just forget sometimes that you have so much to do. I just wanna spend all my time with you since that's all I have. I also guess offering to pay for things like your college doesn't help either when your girlfriends independent"

"And capable of doing everything on her own. Including paying for her school and home necessities. I mean it's a nice gesture baby but I'd just appreciate it if maybe you could take a step back and realize I'm only human. And not everyone wants to become an actor. I'm studying really hard to get to where I wanna be. And even if I'm working a boring desk job right now I won't be in the future"

"I know baby and I'm so proud of you for that you know that right?"

"Of course Charlie. And I know your my number one supporter just like I'm your number one fan" I said as he placed small kisses on my nose.

"Good....So you did all this today to get back at me?"

"Well yeah I wanted to have fun. But it's no fun when I too need to resist the urge to jump on you when you come out of the shower shirtless"

"Yeah about that I didn't know y/b/n was here or I wouldn't have walked out like that"

"I know baby. But now that we're alone so can we please just-" My words were cut off by his lips once more.

Giggling at his eagerness I began to palm him through his boxers once more.

"You don't know the things you do to me baby" He whispered pulling my bra down letting my breast fall free. I moaned as he began to suck on the left one and toying with the right one.

"God I missed these"

"Charlie please hurry up" I spoke. He didn't hesitate to remove my panties and his boxers immediately lining himself up at my entrance.

"You've been taking your birth control right?"

"Of course you idiot"

"Ooo aggressive much"

"Charlie if you don-" My words were cut off by a moan as he entered me. Not hesitating to start moving at a steady pace.

"Charlie" I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Faster"

"I'm so close baby"

"Me too" I panted as he sped up. His thrust becoming sloppier by the second.

"I'm gonna-" He groaned being the first to release. My climax coming not long after. I sighed as we rode our our highs together.

"I love you baby" Charlie said standing up and cleaning me off with a t-shirt of his.

"I love you too" I said as he finally came to lay next to me. Pulling the covers over us.

"You do know I really am proud of you right?"

"I don't know I think you need to prove it to me" I halfheartedly joked.

"If you insists" He whispered pulling me in for a sweet tender kiss.

Time slowing down as we spent the night tangled in each other's arms. Enjoying each other's company. Each other's love.

[animamosaic]

Years and years ago, like a decade, I tried to create a group with friends to share our art. Writing, drawing, singing, painting, ceramics-- Whatever, if it was creative I wanted us to share it. But, it was specifically a "bad art" group. That is, I didn't want it to be a group where we gave advice or talked about what was wrong with our art. This wasn't a workshop, no constructive criticism welcome.

I know a lot of people who are professional artists in some capacity; and a lot who make art as a hobby but never share it, like it's a secret, in part because they compare it to professional art of people we know. I'm one them in both categories, I'm pretty confident in showing any of my theatre related stuff, I love people coming to shows because my shows are great. But I cringe at sharing my drawings, I only sing at karaoke with very specific songs, my confidence in my writing swings wildly.

I wanted a group where we could share our art without worrying about how unskilled it is. I wanted us to receive praise and acknowledgement just for creating. We all want that, want to share what we make and share the joy of creating something. The joy of bringing something from your mind into the world. But the fear of ridicule, the fear of being bad at something in view of others, is paralyzing.

This would have been a group we could show the bad painting we spent 2 hours on that we had fun making, and we would all say, "That's so cool! I love that you made this! I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your color choices! This poem is so personal, I can tell it means a lot. Thank you for letting me read it!"

But the overall response was extremely negative. It was hostile. Why would they do that?? Why would they show people something and not immediately reassure people that they were trying to be better? Why would they spend time on something that couldn't be picked apart and polished? They weren't going to admit to anyone that they WASTED time like that! Why would they make art that they could never hustle for a career?! Who does that?!

It was like I'd suggested something immoral. Make something bad just for the fun of it? Art that couldn't be put in a gallery? Writing that people might laugh at? Might as well kick puppies, it would be the same use of your time.

It was so weird. It was beyond demoralizing. The few friends that had expressed interest apologized for even thinking of wasting time and energy like that.

And I really internalized that. That it was wrong, bad, of me to spend time on something just for fun. Spend time on something I'd never be good at. If I wasn’t constantly striving for perfection I was committing a crime. There are a lot of things I never picked up again because of how people react when I'm not good at it.

I like plucking at instruments, but I'm never going to be a good musician. I don't have the coordination or timing. If people find out though? All I hear is how much I need to practice, how I NEED to spend hours each day to be good. Why am I not good enough to book shows yet? Have I been practicing? I don't want to practice, I just want to make noise. Similarly I can paint for hours everyday, and I'll improve a little, but I'm never going to be objectively good. I stopped making art for a long time because I hated advice on how I should improve. Just let me play with paint.

I know other people do this. We are social creatures, we like sharing. It's always nice to have people make happy noises when you share something. Art doesn't need a point. We shouldn't have to defend our creations by adding, "I know it's not good. I'm trying to be better! I swear I'm not wasting time, someday I'll be able to make money from this!" We aren't bad people because we don't know color theory, or how to properly shade a nose, or what the fuck semicolons are for.

I've been trying to deprogram myself of this, to stop qualifying everything with, "I know this sucks". To let myself make stuff that I know will be bad, just because I want to. Trying not to panic about being a bad person because I wasn't spending the time on something productive like washing the dishes or making money.

I have a lot of days where I can’t really do anything now, so I just sit and think. And I’ve found myself thinking, “I could draw”, and then immediately shutting that down. Because I’m bad at drawing. I’m sitting here in pain, with the possibility that I could lose control of my limbs in the near future, and I’m worried about drawing badly. I’ve spent years not doing something that brings me joy, and now I could lose that.

Make bad art. I already love it, because you made it.

Here’s a self portrait I did the other night. I didn't use MS paint, but I might as well have. I’m very happy with it. I’m not going to improve at all.