#be gay do crime fall in love with the victim of said crime

[necrotic-nephilim]

do you ship helena bertinelli with anyone? if yes, then which characters and why? what's your favorite helena ship? do you have any helena rarepairs? (i know you've talked about helena/steph and you're so right about it, it's a very interesting ship)

!!!! i have so many ships for my best girl ever yes oh my god thank you for asking.

my top pairing is probably Vic Sage/the Question. Vic is the basic answer, but man. i love them so much. no couple has matched each other's freak like that have. Justice League Unlimited is a great adaptation of Helena in general, but it also did a great adaptation of Helena and Vic's relationship. how he just dedicates himself to helping her with no expected return, but also wants to make sure she doesn't go too far in a hunt for vengeance that never ends for her. i think a lot of characters often want to change Helena or expect things out of her for their own needs, like the Batfam and the BoP. but Vic is one of the few people who just wants her to be better for her own good. when he tries to stop her from killing it's not because of his morals, it's because he doesn't want this crusade to consume her. and i just. man i think about them a lot. Helena rlly likes weird little men who give themselves wholly to her.

Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk is also a top ship for me. tbh i just like Zinda. but i do love how Helena and Zinda interact, being the more rough and tumble members of the BoP. they're both outsiders, in different ways. Helena is an outsider of the Batfam and Zinda is literally from a different time and an outsider to the current world. their friendship is so genuine and i think if Babs and Dinah can have. whatever homoerotic nonsense going on during BoP, then Zinda and Helena deserve some homoerotic nonsense too. as a treat.

if we're willing to count New-52 Helena, then i enjoy Helena/Dick/Tiger. i think Helena and Dick being a past relationship is really important in pre-Flashpoint for Helena's development, though i don't ship them as a serious couple beyond a fling. but in the New-52, i think this throuple be fun. Helena and Tiger respect each other as two very driven, no-nonsense agents and then well. they both clearly have some kind of thing for Dick. so it's fun finding the balance of how they could all work together romantically.

and ofc. it's a crime to mention Helena ships and not mention Renee Montoya/the Question. every time they interact it's really fucking gay. it's so gay that Kate Kane, Renee's own ex, assumed Helena and Renee were gay. i cannot be convinced against this ship. i genuinely think this ship should be canon. i mean. DC did tease us with this moment from an alternate universe and it's lived rent for me since. fucking criminal for us to only get one panel of what we could have if DC let Helena be a fruit in the main universe. being in love with Helena Bertinelli should be a right of passage for the Question mantle, i personally believe. if you asked me like. genuinely who i want to see Helena date in the current comics, Renee is my top pick. (i would say Vic but he's fucking dead and the New-52 butchered him so rip my mans-)

lois lane (2019) #10

besides those ships, just about every ship for Helena probably falls into the category of rarepair. like you said i've talked about my love for Helena/Steph before bc god. i think it should be a thing more people ship. once i finish the fic i'm writing about them i will convince others to like it.

i also think Helena/Cass could be fun. in a *lot* of ways Helena and Cass are narrative parallels to each other. Helena was a victim of her family being murdered at about the same age Cass was forced to be a murderer. Helena grows up to believe in lethal justice because of this, and Cass grows up to be staunchly against it. Cass' Batgirl suit was made *by* Helena. they both want to be protectors of the most vulnerable people. they balance each other out in a lot of ways and i think they should kiss about it.

also probably a rarepair, i think Helena/Lady Shiva is fun. their fight during Birds of Prey (2010) had... questionable moments for Helena's characterization, but i do love so much that Helena knocks Shiva off her feet and gains a deep respect from Shiva. like. Shiva gives her a nickname and shows her admiration. i would like to see fanfic where Shiva continues to be weirdly admirable of Helena and bothering her non-stop. they could be a fun fucked up toxic yuri moment. this is just. so gay to me.

birds of prey (2010) #6

my most rare Helena pair would probably be Helena Wayne, actually. but specifically Helena Wayne of JSA (2022). ever since, for some reason, it was made canon that the current Helena Wayne was named after Helena Bertinelli and took the name Huntress to honor her i *cannot* stop thinking about them meeting. because in-universe it makes *no* fucking sense for Bruce to name his kid after *Helena Bertinelli*, someone he's regularly at odds with and doesn't like. it's clearly an awkward explanation to try to make the whole two Huntress situation make sense. (it's almost as bad as Helena Wayne in the New-52 using Helena Bertinelli as an alias.) but because it's such an odd choice, i do think it could be fun for Helena Wayne, when she's back in time to see Bruce, to find Helena Bertinelli to get to know the woman she was named after and Helena Bertinelli just being. baffled by the idea of *Batman* naming his kid after her. it could be a fun fucked up moment.

my other super rarepair is Kara Zor-L/Power Girl. they had like. one meaningful interaction of JSA Classified and it's been PLAGUING me. something about when Power Girl doesn't remember her past and she's seeking a friend, she instinctively goes to find Huntress? but it's wrong bc this isn't *her* Huntress and neither of them understand why Power Girl would seek Helena out? god it's so good. i'm always a big fan of ships where one person in the ship is *so* obviously using the other person as a replacement for someone they lost and they both know it. it's such a doomed angsty thing where you could play with Helena actually really liking Kara, but knowing that she's just a replacement for Kara's Helena Wayne. good fucked up shit man.

and lastly: i really ship her with Dawn Granger/Dove. there's no canon basis for this, they didn't have a ton of interactions even when they were both on the BoP. but there's a very kind innocence to Dawn that contrasts Helena's violence really well. and i do love a ship with a corruption kink vibe to it. let Helena corrupt Dawn. i could write such fucked up porn about these two.

[agapesophy]

Why did my wife and mother in law fall apart? At least they kept me because justice assault me with domestic violence to my mercy six months of prohibition because prohibition is crime because you asked me to commit ask my employer why i don't give a fuck BP is loyal to King Charles and you aren't fascist Rebels. I am red coat let me show you execution of my own contempt, and my self guilty Victim shame is offered flesh dick for ticket to leave or plastic dick to rape Chris, so I stayed with her plastic love of Chris my cackled observations that blame the Chinese abuse on the under ground railroad because the number of flesh dicks murders you literally but who cares Chris raped wrong is justice because they both agreed and I perfer porn because it wrong.

My wife was raped by his honor becuase I agreed to pay and she pay 50 bucks but I collect your court house or return the 50 dollars I stole from my wife became she beat me. because you hate her justice because she only hit me because she paid greedy evil pigs, his unhonorable who rape Navajos calling it honor! I need Receipt mailed 2749 Liberty 🗽 #A# 84403 Ogden Utah

Police captain murders my judge because I killed his little midgets in exchange for peace, but he said evil Kings don't respect rebel officers! Betrayed!

I shoot a bullet in the heart for betraying uniform because he pushed away, but he no gaint who take dive because he could not speak freely and it was done in my witness my execution failed but the fire department couldn't save me either, it is not suicide attempt? My motives are certain, without a doubt, signs of agreements, mistaken !

Because the sheriff knows my court house, saving me wrong but pure enough to trust I am judge, because I don't preejaculate in slandered bear the President comfort me who call me saying you are pardon to hold bear hand because that gay for bear to handle any misfire of injustice because the judge slay himself wrong for you champ 🏆 oh Trunp your flattering fart please because safety once is best safety last because it better weapon do onto him afterwards because Tit for Tat is Justice not honor!

Look, I will find Mother buried under concrete slab of house alive when the judge.say she a waste of resourses to save a murderer of a mother and then when I call a shrieff I broke the concrete foundation and pull her out alive we can go to the judge and I will grab your weapon a slaughter a mistaken judge a firefighters Pistol saying that judge murdered PO.W just like any criminal is a POW because I don't give a fuck about Solomon bling on each American house take the blood put that on each sheriff house, what about police fuck who cares get me the pestle nazi Concentration style let me hang 12 resource rmanangamt rapers one bullet for 12 jury of my peers because I won't tolerate the idea that even retired or fired unfairly by evil judges of good gods don't have right to my mercy love that won't give a fuck the recycling Solomon of sold out bling to.the citizen! Because the IRS will murder me, then murder other citizens because my Good God not invisible I saw his tears for evil mercy for jusitce everyone suffered me to be vicitm I must die.then.tax.the citizen to death after I die the government employee blood on the houses because why should the innocent die for having saved me they where weak like me fuck any one with bling of Solomon because evil tax payers I slander back the tax raped of my good God murdered and son before him in the honor of mom and two in laws AJ & JS & JR & JR's mother & little ones I fell for you go.in your freedom Rachel Valeri & Chris King and Sunshine software design of our resourse management AI software slain squeal of judges shall never be again because I am judge betrayer of my own kind the last judge slayer to slay for bloodshed of the white rabbit vengence!

[shijiujun]

Time for some BL/Danmei novel recs! 

You guys have probably (maybe) seen my novels list here - [X] - but it’s more for my own tracking than anything else, so here’s a brief list (I’ll probably do full ones of the ones I really love in another post, probably on Minmo).

The ones elaborated on below with the asterisks are the novels I’ve actually finished reading.

*since everyone more or less knows MXTX’s works - TGCF, MDZS and SVSSS, I’ll skip those!

1. SCI 迷案集 | SCI Mystery Series by 耳雅*

Summary: Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao are childhood friends and rivals that end up working together under the newly established SCI unit as co-leads, with Bai Yutang providing the brawn as Captain and Zhan Zhao the brains as Vice Captain and the team’s resident genius psychologist. They solve cases together and slowly unravel a wider conspiracy that involves their parents’ generation and beyond. At the same time they also realize that they’re meant for each other!

Other CPs: Bai Jintang (Bai Yutang’s older brother) & the medical examiner, Gongsun Ce, Bai Chi (Bai Yutang’s younger cousin) & magician Zhao Zhen, and at least three other gay pairings, one of which is considered another main couple of sorts from Vol. 2 onwards

Status: Incomplete (Began in 2010, author is still going on strong with one chapter every one or two months, we’re halfway through Vol. 5 right now and it’s been 10 years ;-; Love that the author is going on strong!! Everyone on JJWXC are like “please author it’s okay if you go slow as long as you keep going we’re here for you” and jfc I understand the fear of this not completing, also when will Vol. 5 be completed and printed?!! I need to complete the collection)

Translations: Unfortunately, only the first volume has been translated well so far on novel updates. The one on Wattpad seems to have caught up, but I would not recommend that one.

Drama/Live-Action: Season 1 was filmed and released in 2018 under the same name with slightly changed names for the characters. Season 2 was supposed to start filming this month but... oh well. First season basically covered Vol. 1 novel from start to end.

*I love this one only because it was my very first danmei and so it’ll forever have a special place in my heart, and also because it’s still ongoing so ya know, I relive how much I love this every month

2. 成化十四年 | Cheng Hua’s Fourteenth Year (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty) by 梦溪石*

Summary: Tang Fan, a prefectural judge, and Sui Zhou, a high ranking officer in the Embroidered Uniform Guards, meet while trying to solve a murder case. Both of them end up partnering very well together, Sui Zhou ends up inviting Tang Fan to live with him, and the rest is history. Through their days living together and solving cases + a larger conspiracy involving the royal palace, they fall in love. Adding to this mix is also Wang Zhi, a powerful, young eunuch who befriends the pair, and the three of them basically help the crown prince to overcome challenges and his enemies to become the next Emperor

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Ongoing on several websites. I’m only translating relationship highlights, but here’s an introduction post I did for it, if you guys would like somewhere to start without getting too invested - [X]

Drama/Live-Action: The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty was released earlier this year, directed by Jackie Chan and starring Darren Chen and Paul Fu, but cases are a little different and there are new characters in the show that weren’t from the novel etc.

3. 杀破狼 | Shapolang by Priest*

Summary: Set in a steampunk universe where flying boats named ‘kites’ and flying armour exist. Young teenager Chang Geng lives with his mother and stepfather - the former abuses him and the latter neglects him, and the only person that he cares about (and cares about him) is Shen Shiliu, his (very young) godfather. He realizes his identity as a royal prince when the Man tribe invades his city and Shen Shiliu, whose real name is Gu Yun, turns out to be an army general whose duty was to protect Chang Geng in secret (among other things). 

Chang Geng has been critically poisoned by his mother (who’s not actually his birth mother, if I recall she’s an aunt) which leads to him getting terrible dreams frequently with the end result of him being driven into insanity, while Gu Yun is half blind, half deaf due to poisoning + injury when he was much younger, and he can only regain his hearing and sight fully when he takes a medicine that is slowly losing its effectiveness with every dosage he has.

The both of them navigate learning about each other again, falling in love a few years later when Chang Geng is all grown up and also unravel conspiracies and fight bad guys (both external threats and internal as in the current Emperor and other parties) XD

*Note: The age old debate is that Gu Yun ‘preyed’ on and also ‘groomed’ Chang Geng, but I disagree and stand by the fact that Gu Yun was 90% of the time not around while Chang Geng grew from a teenager to a young adult as he was fighting wars elsewhere, while Chang Geng refused to stay at the Gu manor and insisted on running around, travelling on his own and seeing the world for a few years before they met again. And it was Chang Geng who’d always loved Gu Yun and devoted himself to caring about him, making advances on him etc. when he became an adult

Other CPs: Shen Yi (Gu Yun’s second-in-command) & Chen Qingxu (a renowned physician who ends up healing both Chang Geng and Gu Yun of their ailments) 

Status: Complete!

Translations: Fully translated the last I heard, it’s up there in the list of holy grail BL/danmei novels, so I’m sure it’s done hahaha.

Drama/Live-Action: Filming in progress!

*This is up there in the hall of fame for danmei novels for more than just the amazing content and writing - It’s also famous for being one of the most complex novels ever. I don’t know how the translations team did it because DAMN it was complex and I read all my novels in Chinese without much issues but I was honestly STRUGGLING WITH this one and I went through some existential crisis while reading because I was like ‘did I ever learn Chinese, am I even Chinese’ XD

4. 默读 | Silent Reading by Priest*

Summary: Luo Wenzhou, a police captain, and his team including best friend and partner Tao Ran, face a few challenging cases that end up being small parts of a larger conspiracy, and end up having to consult with Fei Du, a flamboyant, charming and flirty, young and rich CEO, who Luo Wenzhou describes as someone who is an expert at ‘crimes’. Not deduction, not solving crimes, but someone who is familiar with how the murderer or culprits would commit crimes. Both Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran know Fei Du well, because they first met when Fei Du was in high school, when he called the police because his mother had hanged herself in the house, and since then Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou look out for him, spending holidays with him, giving him presents here and there. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du overcome their misunderstandings of each other and fall in love while solving all the cases and the larger conspiracy behind it.

Other CPs: Tao Ran and someone he knew first from his school days or was a neighbour when he was younger, I can’t remember, but they meet again at a blind date and end up living in the same building on different floors XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Complete!! There’s a huge post floating around on Tumblr with all the links (I can’t find it right now) and on Twitter you can also find the collated, epub versions etc.

Drama/Live-Action: Rights for a live-action was signed, no casting confirmation or set dates yet

5. 犯罪心理 | Criminal Psychology by 长洱*

Summary: Police captain Xing Conglian drags psychologist Lin Chen out of seclusion/hiding to solve a case that is indirectly tied to him. Lin Chen was involved in a case a few years ago that led to four deaths - these four victims were the sons/daughters of four of the five huge old-money (super rich) families in the country and these family members sought to make Lin Chen’s life very difficult for him afterwards by making him lose all the jobs he can find, by surveilling his every move and ensuring that he’s not happy etc. Because of that, he backed out of the police force as well and quietly lived as a school dorm administrator, which is where Xing Conglian finds him a few years later. Lin Chen fakes his death after the first case (not deliberately but kind of a by-the-way thing), but as fate would have it, he ends up meeting Xing Conglian on another case, and he decides that he’ll move in with him and also involve himself again, consequences be damned, and they fall in love!

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet.

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of.

6. 死亡万花筒 | Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪* (MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE)

Summary: Supernatural setting where people who are about to die get a second chance to live. These individuals are either in the midst of a dangerous situation (for e.g. a shootout or a deadly mugging incident) or are about to get into accidents (for e.g. an entire bus going off a bridge or a chandelier dropping from above and crushing the person underneath) or are ill (recently diagnosed with cancer or are terminally ill with a condition for e.g.) - The list is endless, and in the situation between life and death, 12 doors will appear before them. 

It is said that once these individuals finish all 12 doors, they will truly get a second chance at life and survive whatever cause of death they were imminently facing. 

Each door represents a creepy, supernatural mystery, and Lin Qiushi finds himself in a strange place after opening a door when he was trying to enter his apartment one day. He meets Ruan Baijie, a beautiful, tall woman who he happens to meet, and they realize that in this strange world, he and other individuals who came through the door have to complete a given task, find a key and an exit door, and make it out alive. The others in the team (some of which have already gone through several doors) explain to Lin Qiushi, who is a first-timer, what the doors are about. 

The catch is, if they die inside the door, in the real world, they’ll die immediately, by accident, throwing themselves off a building, or just throwing up blood until they die (just to name a few)

On the first night, however, three people are slaughtered and eaten by a long-haired ghost/creature. The good news is, Ruan Baijie isn’t all that she seems to be (for one, she’s not exactly a woman) and she takes a liking to Lin Qiushi immediately.

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet!

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of, but honestly, this novel would be fricking EPIC as a live-action, and really creepy, but this is my all-time favourite novel, I kid you not!!!!

*I’m definitely doing a longer and more detailed to-read for KOD on my translation account, gosh you guys have no idea how much I love this.

7. 当年万里觅封侯 | Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by 漫漫何其多

Summary: Yu She and Gu Wan were close friends for a short period of time when they were younger, but unfortunately their identities and positions meant that they were opponents. Yu She’s family was for the Second Prince and Gu Wan was taken in by the Sixth Prince’s family, but in the end it was the Second Prince who ended up getting to the throne, while the Sixth Prince was accused of treason and died somewhere far away at war after being captured. Gu Wan’s only wish was to keep the Fifth Prince’s children - Xuan Rui and a pair of twins, Xuan Yu and Xuan Congxin safe, and so he moves them to another province and asks the Emperor (the Second Prince) to demote Xuan Rui’s status to prove that they are no threat to the Emperor, if only to stay alive for another day.

However, their days of hardship have only just begun, and Gu Wan decides to namedrop Yu She, whose family is so powerful now, and claims that Yu She loves him and that he was wooing Gu Wan back in the days they knew each other so that officials and others would treat the children under his care better. A few years pass and Yu She doesn’t expose Gu Wan. Gu Wan thinks they can go on like this forever, until the Emperor asks Xuan Rui and the twins to head back to the palace for a visit.

Gu Wan meets Yu She again, but the boy he knew, who was gentle, a stickler for rules and a proper, well-mannered person, has changed almost completely. Cue palace conspiracies again, brothers fighting for the throne, scheming consorts etc. XD 

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet but I’m not super sure on this

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of!

*They came out with a new reprint edition three days ago and it’s gorgeous! And comes with amazing freebies, and I am a sucker and read it on the day of the printed novel release because I saw the art and loved it, wanted to see if the story was any good, and damn after chapter 2 I WAS GONE and then I checked out two copies from different stores for the two different sets of freebies 

--

A list of those I haven’t read but I see are highly raved about:

1. 二哈和他的白猫师尊 | The Husky & His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun

- I’ve already been spoiled and I know what goes on mostly, and there are a lot of warnings for a reason, but I’m still a fan, and let’s not get into the debate on the content, I know I have to read this but the angst level is apparently ridiculous, so I need like some mental preparation before I sit down for it.

2. 千秋 | A Thousand Autumns by 梦溪石

3. 烈火浇愁 | Lie Huo Jiao Chou by Priest

4. 将进酒 | Qiang Jing Jiu by 唐酒卿

- A really good group of translators picked this up initially on Twitter, but then assholes were complaining that they were being too slow and insisting that machine translation (MTL) did an equally good and faster job, so the OG dropped it, and then another nice team picked it up, but MTL team is still being an asshole XD I’ve heard really good things about this one, it’s apparently quite complex as well, I’d liken it to Shapolang level? But it might be even more complex (with a lot of politics and stuff), so much so that apparently the printed novel comes with a relationship/character chart so readers are at any point in time clear on the characters which is like amazing XD

[absolutebl]

Manner of Death - It’s A Murdery Series

Episode 1 Analysis

I’m not sure I can do my normal flippant BL tropes analysis + pop culture crit with Manner of Death. Because: 

This is not BL, it’s romantic suspense 

Different tropes for different folks 

We are also in cozy mystery city, sweetheart

Or should I say cozy mystery small town?

Anywhowhatwhenwherewhyhow... 

Romantic Suspense in a BL blog? 

This is MaxTul and I have been waiting YEARS for them to appear in something decent, so sure, here we go...  

What’s romantic suspense? 

Romantic suspense is a literary sub genre of romance fiction in which both the romance AND the suspense/mystery/thriller elements are integral parts of the plot. This means that if you remove the romance thread the story would fall apart. And/or if you remove the crime element the story falls apart. It’s primarily consumed by romance readers. 

Why do I think Manner of Death qualifies as Romantic Suspense? 

Well at first I thought we were getting a cozy mystery with a gay romance sub-plot. (Which means if the romance element is removed, the story could still occur.) But after watching episode one, I think it’s actually romantic suspense because:

So much of this episode was built using romance tropes as well as mystery tropes. 

The gaze of the filming lens was very romance-driven in terms of lingering on longing glances and shirtless Dr Bun. 

We followed Dr Bun into his bed. Suspense (even cozies) rarely follows the protag into household intimacy zones in the first episode. (Victims = yes, protags = no.) Romance almost always does. 

Finally, we have got a kiss in the first installment for Dr Bun, plus a lot of screen time spent on their meet cute, and that kind of pacing indicates romance. 

Why is it EXCITING that Manner of Death is romantic suspense? 

Well, romantic suspense is a HUGELY hot genre amongst readers that has gotten VERY little attention from Hollywood. (Something like True Romance qualifies as do a few others but there isn’t much out there...) There’s also little to NO queer rep in suspense films in general (except as plot drivers and victims). 

Generally speaking, the Hollywood film industry prefers straight up suspense in which the heterosexual love story, while it can be present for the protagonist, doesn’t drive plot and usually doesn’t end happily (think Mission Impossible franchise). Or the alternate which is cozy mystery TV series, which I’ll address in a moment. 

In short? This is a massive untapped market in visual media. 

Cozy Mystery 

Cozy mysteries, AKA cozies, are a sub-genre of crime fiction in which:  

sex and violence usually occur off stage (AKA don’t be too graphic)

the detective is an amateur sleuth 

the crime and detection take place in a small, socially intimate community.

While I think Manner of Death is demonstrating all core elements of a cozy, I don’t think it is going to be a cozy because they wouldn’t have hired MaxTul if they weren’t going to give us some serious skinship (violating the too graphic rule above). And it has already gotten a bit violent for cozies. 

That said, it’s a REALLY smart thing to put a romantic suspense into a cozy framework because...

Cozy mysteries are SUPER popular, often times with exactly the same demographic that tends to watch BL and read romantic suspense. Which is to say: mostly straight women of a certain age. (What Hollywood calls the apple pie demographic. Don’t blame the messenger.) 

Also cozies are more popular as TV series, rather than one-off films. And what do we have with Manner of Death? A SERIES! 

So I’m calling Manner of Death as:

A gay romantic suspense series in a cozy mystery framework. 

And if they can stick to that, and have done their marketing properly, they could have a run away hit on their hands. 

There are some things to be wary of: 

The lingering gaze and romantic lens can upset mystery watchers, who are probably going to be coming to this show fresh (expecting a cozy) not understanding what it is. 

Also the captioning of the medical terminology and awkward phrasing of certainly dialogue may turn these viewers off. They are less forgiving than BL watchers. 

The director is going to have to tread a VERY thin line with romantic suspense to keep new (non-BL) viewers. As is the script - the mystery is going to need to be executed well. Finally, much as we like Dr Oak and the comedic element, that style of humor probably won’t translate well to a mystery audience, so I’m hoping they pull back a bit on that. 

Some stuff I really loved? 

The soundtrack. It’s way more mature than BL and I am really happy to hear music that doesn’t interfere with my enjoyment or beat me over the head with its mistrust of the actor’s ability to execute emotion.

The filming style, they have left off triple shots and other BL fillers. 

The lack of comedic sound effects. I have learned not to mind them in BL romantic comedies but they have no place in romantic suspense. 

Lack of product placement. Although I worry about how they are funding this baby. 

Tul’s acting. I seriously did not think he had it in him and I am really excited to see him carry this thing. I was confused as to why they gave Dr Bun to him and not Max, but now I totally get it. Tul has a soft sweetness to him that Max doesn’t and it’s perfect for this character. I am already very worried about him. That’s one of the dramatic tensions of a cozy - fish-out-of-water driven concern for the protagonist. 

My Feels?

This is going to be a wild, crazy, sexy ride. Even if it jumps the shark I’m excited to see where it fails. And I mean that lovingly. 

From a purely academic perspective it’s so cool to watch something totally new, yet based on so much trope-riddled history. 

And on that note... TROPES! 

Mystery & Suspense Tropes  We Got In Episode One 

Opening on a murder

Fridge girl (see women in refrigerators) 

Nosy reporter 

Medical evidence explained 

Female friend in danger

Amateur sleuth 

Small town sins AKA the dark underbelly  

Public argument

Zoom in on clues 

I know the victim 

Murder disguised as suicide 

Love interest is a suspect 

Romance Tropes We Got In Episode One 

Meet Cute 

Sexual tension 

Secretive brooding love interest 

You can’t go home again 

Witty banter & innuendo 

Everyone wants the protagonist 

Get his shirt off ASAP 

First kiss in under 10%

BL Tropes We Got In Episode One 

(what you thought I’d just forget my one true love?) 

Faen fatal 

Baby is a floppy drunk 

Proximity alert 

Post-it love note 

Touch my lip and think of kissing

Head touch (the ”you have something in your hair” variant) 

In conclusion Manner of Death may be the death of me, but what a way to go. 

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Fanfic recommendations part six: 100% Alternate Universe stories.

Hey! It took me a while to post this and I’m sorry, got too caught up with, well, you know, life (ew). But I’m back!

All the stories listed in this are stories are 100% AU (yes, I’m including the Soulmate AU’s in this category). I’ve read and enjoyed them all.

Accidentally In Love by the bohemian flow.

Rachel Hyde was a witness to a strange romance that blossomed between her twin brother, Steven, and Jackie Burkhart, of all people. Her and Steven weren't the biggest fans of Jackie, but now, he loves her. How could Rachel possibly put up with her brother's girlfriend?

AU where Hyde has a sister. Not 100% focused on J/H, since it’s from Hyde’s sister POV, but it’s still pretty good.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated constantly.

109k words, 28 chapters so far.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, OC/Kelso, OC/Eric, Eric/Donna.

A Different Start Could Lead to a Better End by SoftBubbles

Instead of Hyde meeting her as Kelso's annoying girlfriend, what if he met her as his annoying English partner, whom he quickly learns is more than she seems.

This story is not complete, it was last updated on July of 2020, and I pray for the author to come back to it one day, it’s a really good story.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

13k words, 14 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bad Moon on the Rise by Badfanfic

Set around season 2. Jackie starts to develop feelings for Hyde, even though its the last thing she wants. Hyde is just trying to survive but is having difficulty controlling himself, especially around a certain cheerleader.

Hyde is a werewolf in this story. And THIS IS GOOD Y’ALL, I’ve read this like 10 times already.

Unfortunally, I think this story is abandoned, the last time the author updated was in June of 2020, but I still have hope, it’s really good and I’m DYING to read more. I absolutely adore stories with supernatural elements, and it’s so hard to find good ones in this fandom. Please read this.

13k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Focus by Jenny7

After a metaphysical awakening, Hyde develops the ability to telepathically connect with a single stranger. What he doesn't expect is that the girl that he shares the connection with, a rich cheerleader with a complicated past, will forever alter his views on life and love.

SO GOOD. It’s complete and it has a sequel (that’s not complete but still worth the read), called Darlin, Walk Awhile With Me.

2k words, 19 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde.

History Rewritten by kezztip

What if Hyde got his Season 1 wish and stole Donna away from Eric? And then what if Eric had turned to a certain tiny cheerleader instead?

This story is complete, and if you have a soft spot for Eric/Jackie, than you might like this a lot.

81k words, 25 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Eric, Hyde/Donna, Eric/Donna.

(I absolutely hate the Hyde and Donna pairing but it’s temporary so it’s okay).

Playing Pretend by isnotme

Caught up in her teenager concerns – and some wounds to heal, Jackie didn’t realize that her parents' marriage was crashing down for real, causing a major turnaround in her world.

.

In the edge of seventeen, Hyde had too much on his mind. With graduation coming so soon, he knew too well he was about to be kicked out of the Forman's home. But when Bud’s illegal activities came to knock on his door, Hyde saw his plans falling apart once again.

Or

An AU where Jackie and Hyde get themselves in one of those fake relationship situation and somewhere along the way, they find somethings in commun. Highly inspired in every cliché Rom Com ever made, including Netflix's most recents TATBILB and Isi and Ossi.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated often.

33k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Pretty in Wisconsin by BelleBae

Jackie Burkhart has a lot to deal with. Her dad is in prison, her mum can't get it together and one of her best friends is in love with her. Will she be able to sort everything out by Prom? Inspired by Pretty In Pink.

Cute and complete.

20k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Rock You Like a Hurricane by zeppelinandunicorns (yours truly)

Alternative universe where Donna met Jackie before meeting Eric and the rest of basement gang.

Jackie and Donna are 16 and 17 when they finally met the four basement misfits after a Fleetwood Mac concert.

This story is a WIP, and I do not plan on abandoning it, I love it too much to do that.

77k words, 15 chapters so far.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, background Red/Kitty and eventual Fez/Laurie and Kelso/Brooke.

Also Available on AO3

She Belongs to me series by QueenBookBuff

A universe where Kelso cared a lot more about Jackie and Hyde getting together and implications of a deeper background for both Jackie and Hyde and Kelso and Jackie.

This got me hooked, it’s really good, please read it.

It’s complete and there are sequels! They are called All Our Tomorrows

and The Scarlet and SJ Chronicles.

27k words, 7 works in total.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Summer Music Series by Wickedfetch

What if Hyde and Jackie didn't meet until 1985?

Complete.

7k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

That 70s show by Zenmaster21

What if Jackie had dated Hyde from the beginning instead of Kelso? This is simply a re-write of the episodes had Jackie and Hyde always been together.

One of my favorites stories from the entire fandom.

Not complete, but please read it, it’s worth it.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

152k words, 37 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Fifth Forman by BlueZeppelin

What if it wasn't just Eric and Laurie? What if they had another sibling? Like...Jackie? What would happen with Hyde? Would Eric be happy with his sister dating his best friend? Would Red like his daughter to be with one of the basement dumbasses?

This story is complete!!

52k words, 18 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where Jackie Moves In by Floweerchild96

Jackie has been living in New-York with her family but after her father goes to jail and her mother abandons her, she is forced to return to a town she thought she was done with for good. How will Jackie's reemergence in the basement effect the gangs lives?

A really good story, but unfortunally, it’s not complete. Still worth the read.

103k words, 20 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Wall Around Your Heart by ourinvisibleink

Jackie Burkhart-Forman was adopted at almost ten years old by Red and Kitty, after her parents flee the country for drug trafficking crimes. Laurie grapples with addiction, Eric is messed up because of Red’s verbal abuse, Steven’s arrival is brought on by Jackie, Kelso is neglected, Fez is victim to racism, and Jackie befriends Jason, the new kid who happens to be gay.

This story is really good, but it deals with some serious stuff. I still love it.

Complete and it has a sequel called Plastar and Mortar.

52k words, 26 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Fez/Laurie, Red/Kitty.

One-shots:

A Little Less 70s, A Little More Modern AU by fairytalesandfolklore

A modern AU where the characters from That 70’s Show grew up in the 90’s x early 2000’s instead.

Cute as hell!!! Worth the read!

1k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

found a wife and a home (and a family that matters) by blackorchids

Hyde’s been part of the Forman family for years before they make him move in.

I placed this in the AU category because apparently Jackie and Hyde always dated, it doesn’t specify much.

1k words.

Rated G.

Pairings: background Jackie/Hyde and background Red/Kitty. This is not focused on the couples, but on Hyde’s relationship with the Forman’s.

Lady and The Tramp by soobeans

'See, I, myself, don't like you. I find you abrasive. But if I didn't know you, and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.'

In Point Place, Wisconsin, there are only three distinct areas. The Western area consists of the burnouts, thugs, outcasts, hopeless dreamers, poor people, and overall, tramps. The Eastern area holds the classy, rich, and more fortunate ladies and gentlemen. In between is where the two are forced to intermingle, but of course, they found a few ways to separate themselves.

8k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some minor background Eric/Donna moments.

That Disco Episode: Zenmasters Style by springsteenicious

What if Hyde had learned how to dance to impress Jackie instead of Donna? And what if Jackie hadn’t been dating Kelso?

That Disco Episode, rewritten for Jackie and Hyde.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bonus: Soulmate AU’S:

I am so in love with Soulmate AU’s that I’m currently writing one, I wanted to make a special post just for this category but it would be too small so I just included it in here. 

Finders Keepers by nannygirl

It's said that before you find your soulmate you will find one of their lost items first, so what happens when Hyde finds a gold bracelet in The Formans' backyard? Will it lead him to his soulmate, someone who he's sure probably doesn't even exist?

This story is not complete, but worth the read.

5k words, 2 chapters.

Rated K+.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some background Red/Kitty

It Takes Time to Fall in Love by yabookreader96

Jackie can't wait to meet her soulmate, but a dire mistake on her part leads her to mistakenly identify him as Michael, while Hyde watches his soulmate clock hit zero and immediately knows that it's Jackie. Years pass, Jackie with Michael, Hyde saying nothing as he knowingly watches from the side. Will this dynamic be permanent or will destiny bring the true soulmates together?

This story is complete.

18k words, 12 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, temporary Jackie/Kelso.

Mistaken Messages by MistyMountainHop

Jackie longs for her soulmate to accept her, and Hyde hopes his will leave him alone because he's in love with someone else. A stack of mystical index cards lets them communicate with their as-yet unidentified soulmates. But the more their soulmates write, the less control Jackie and Hyde seem to have over their fate.

This story is complete.

23k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

Until We Get There by poetdameron

Running away from their own wedding is the craziest thing Hyde and Jackie have ever done together. But the tug he feels at his heart when realizing she doesn't want to marry him? The worst.

This story is complete.

39k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Voodooized by mc_1

Eric’s been noticing something weird going on between Jackie and Hyde. At a party one night, all of Eric’s suspicions are confirmed when the two become love-marked- an event that occurs when soulmates are ready to be together, resulting in a mark on the skin that bonds them together for life. The unlikely couple puzzle over how they could possibly be paired together as they struggle to understand each other.

This story is a WIP.

14k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde. Eric/Donna

Where It Wasn’t Supposed To Be by moved-ao3

Jackie thinks it's a blessing, Hyde a curse. Set in an alternate universe where characters receive a list with their soulmate's worst qualities, Jackie and Hyde struggle to navigate their feelings for each other when everything else seems pitted against them.

Not complete, and it makes me want to cry, but it’s really good.

15k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

One-shots:

all i need by orphan_account

"When he is six years old, the words 'Pudding Pop' appear on his wrist in the curliest, loopiest handwriting he's ever seen. There's even a little heart dotting the 'i'."

1k words.

The author didn’t rate this one, I would rate it as T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Blush by springsteenicious

On a person's eighteenth birthday, they swap bodies with their soulmate. Hyde doesn't have high hopes for his soulmate, but when he wakes up in a very pink room with posters and painted nails, his life is changed for the better.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

I believe this is all!

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post (seriously, I literally copy and paste this every single time): Speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

Feel free to reply to this post if you think I left out a good story!

Next category: Christmas fics!

[taxicabinmemphis]

“You promised you wouldn’t forget me.” with any ship, human au, they were childhood friends but then one moved and they've met again for the first time in years

So yeah this one is long sorry.

(tw mentions of a panic attack, no description or anything tho)

Virgil kicked his tire angrily. Of course the vile creature had to flatten on him in the middle of nowhere. Now he was stuck on the side of the road in late September, cursing himself for not taking a spare the one time he should have.

The sun was shining down on him, bright and hot in the early afternoon. There were a few trees in the area, but they did nothing to shield him from the heat. Virgil didn’t really want to go back into his car as he had just had a panic attack in the driver’s seat, so he figured he would stay despite the hot weather.

Virgil groaned, pulling out his phone to call roadside assistance.

It was just his luck that his phone died the second his phone app had loaded.

It took Virgil all of his willpower to not throw the phone into the pavement out of anger.

He sighed, leaning his back against the car. What would he do now?

After about ten minutes of sitting there, he figured it would be best if he started to walk. The nearest town was a long way away, but he could hopefully get there by nightfall. He got up and grabbed his belongings.

As soon as he was fully ready to start walking, a car pulled in front of his. Virgil stiffened, worried that the person may be taking advantage of his situation and was going to hurt him.

A man got out of the car and turned to face Virgil. He had brown eyes, brown hair with a streak of white in it, and a mustache. He was wearing a forest green leather jacket over a ripped and dirty white t-shirt, ripped black jeans, and dirty combat boots.

The two made eye contact, and there was no denying it.

Remus Knightley.

Virgil’s worries about being harmed calmed immediately, but now he had a new set of anxieties to deal with. He knew everything about this man before he knew how to walk. They were best friends up until college, where Virgil got accepted into a prestigious art school and Remus went to prison for aggravated assault. Yeah, he committed the crime, but the victim deserved it.

As it appeared, Remus had served his sentence.

And now Virgil had to see him again. In any other instance he would be running into his arms, but there was a problem.

Virgil didn’t lose all contact with him for no reason. Yes, the prison and the art school made things difficult but they had been so close even that wouldn’t have stopped them.

Virgil had been in love with Remus since they were sixteen.

And now, he was apparently his best shot at getting out of his unfortunate situation.

“Flat tire?” Remus called out to Virgil, walking towards him.

Did Remus not recognize him?

Virgil could pretend he didn’t either. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“Dead phone battery? No spare?”

Virgil sighed in annoyance. “My phone is at zero percent. No spare. I gave it to my friend Patton when he parked on a glass bottle outside my house a few days ago. Since I have never needed a spare in my life, I didn’t think to get one.”

“Even when driving out in the middle of nowhere?”

Virgil glared at him.

“I’m not judging!” He put up his hands in surrender. “Just curious.”

“It’s a three hour drive, dude, I’ve gone for twenty-six and never needed one.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Twenty-six hour drive? I’d go crazy.”

I’m sure you would.

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, whatever. What are you here for?”

“I am offended. I come here to help and you don’t even entertain my conversation.”

“Maybe when I have food, water, charged phone, no flat tires and am not riding through the aftermath of a panic attack, mmkay?” Virgil’s rude tone was able to conceal any anxiety. “So what is your name and are you gonna help me or not.”

“I’ll help you.” Remus pulled his phone out, opening it to see the lockscreen. “My phone’s at sixty-eight.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Precise. Name?”

Remus looked away from his phone and to Virgil’s eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t know.”

Oh. So he did recognize him. Why didn’t he address him by his name then?

“No.”

“Virgil.” There it was.

“That is my name, great guessing.”

Remus paused.

“You promised you wouldn’t forget me.”

His voice wasn’t Remus’ anymore. It was weak, broken, and vulnerable. He no longer exuded confidence and danger.

Remus sighed at Virgil’s silence, turning around. He refused to face his old friend and crush. He opened up his phone to call roadside assistance.

“I did, didn’t I?”

Remus turned back to Virgil, eyes lighting up with hope. Virgil gave him a small, fond smile, and shrugged.

“Yeah, I didn’t forget you. Did you really think I could?”

Remus ran to Virgil, closing his phone and stuffing it in his pocket. He wrapped his arms around Virgil, lifting him into the air and spinning him around.

“R-Re-Remus!” Virgil laughed. “Put me down and let me hug you properly.”

Remus slowly set Virgil down, but kept his arms tight around the emo. Virgil hugged him back, nuzzling his head against Remus’ shoulder.

They pulled back after a long time.

“Don’t you dare pull that stunt again, you hear me?” Remus said firmly, pointing at Virgil with his index finger.

“What? How could I be sure of your identity? You have a twin brother after all.”

“Jerk. You knew it was me.”

"Yeah,” Virgil conceded. “I did.”

Remus raised en eyebrow. “Why’d you lie then?”

Virgil gulped. He didn’t want to tell him. “Does it matter?”

“Yes.” He frowned. “You weren’t scared I was gonna assault you too, were you? ‘Cause I would never hurt you. And either way, no more prison; it took me away from you.”

Virgil snorted, but put a hand to his forehead. There was no real harm in the truth, was there? “No. I was scared about that before I saw it was you, ironically.” Remus laughed at Virgil’s admission. “But...well, we never reconnected.”

“Because of prison.”

“Oh come on, Remus, our friendship could’ve survived anything if we tried hard enough. It was me.”

Remus started to pull away from Virgil, the emo immediately pulling him back.

“I was scared. I still am.” Virgil took a deep breath. “See, I may or may not have gotten the biggest crush on you when we were sixteen. You remember how gay I am. I went through the painful process of having an unrequited crush for a couple years, then you were convicted and I went to college and I couldn’t help but take it as a way to get over you. But as we both know...”

“Distance rarely helps,” they finished together.

“Yeah. So now I’m scared the same thing’s gonna happen.”

“You’re scared you’re gonna fall in love all over again.”

Virgil nodded. “I’m sorry if that hurts things between us.”

“Well, as someone who realized they were gay at thirteen because of how hot you looked in a purple button-up and black ripped jeans, fell in love with you not long after, and thought about you every day in prison, I’d say you’re confession poses no risk to our reunion.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “You liked me too?!”

“Of course!”

“You bat! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Remus shrugged. “I could tell you didn’t like me like that at first; then I just got used to hiding it. I didn’t want to risk what we had.”

Virgil sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What’s done is done, I suppose.”

Remus nodded. “Do you have anywhere to be?”

“I mean, I was driving out to meet with my parents but I’m not gonna make it on time and they were supposed to fly out to Boston right after our meetup. So not anymore.”

“How’s about this? I call roadside assistance, they tow your car back where you came from or whatever, you use my phone to tell your parents what happened and that you all should reschedule, we drive to the nearest city which is farther than the nearest town so we get there at an appropriate time for dinner and get to sing songs from my CD collection together and catch up, and we eat at a good place I know?”

Virgil smiled. “Sounds marvelous.”

~

Hope that was alright, sorry it got so long! If you’d like a redo if it wasn’t what you wanted, just shoot me an ask. Thanks for the prompt!

[thefandomlesbian]

okay I DEFINITELY want to see you rank your favorite BAU characters

oh boy oh boy oh boy i’m TOAST--

1.) Emily Prentiss: This woman was my gay awakening and I’m still madly in love with her. All of my original works when I was in middle school featured a character who was basically Emily Prentiss under a different name, and she still is easily in my second favorite fictional character of all time. 

2.) Spencer Reid: Spencer was the first character I ever saw on screen who loved learning as much as I did and made me realize there’s no shame in being intelligent or in craving knowledge. I’ve been compared to Spencer since my family first started watching the show when I was a kid, and we share a name, so that’s that.

3.) Aaron Hotchner: I projected all of my insecurities onto Hotch when I was a kid. When I watched his relationship with Haley fall apart on screen, I felt that in my very bones. I cried with him upon her death and raised Jack with him and even though I was long out of the fandom when TG was fired, I was still devastated to hear that he was being forced to leave. His ship with Reid was the first gay ship I ever connected to, and together, they were the first characters to ever teach me that people are gay and it’s okay. The one thing I do dislike about Hotch is how he’s implied to be wickedly intelligent, but it never gets, like, followed through with? The implication that he graduated law school at nineteen or twenty asserts that this man graduated high school when he was sixteen or younger, that he sped through undergrad and was able to get accepted into one of the most prestigious law schools in the country and graduated early and was an incredibly successful lawyer and prosecutor. He worked personal security, SWAT, he did a stent in Seattle, before he became leader of the BAU at twenty-seven years old. Hotch is, in all likelihood, a child prodigy of his own right, and it never gets mentioned because Spencer’s academic accomplishments are more impressive (and I could take this space to do a whole character study on why I think Hotch stopped his pursuit of academia, but I won’t waste my own time, lol). 

4.) Elle Greenaway/Alex Blake: I love both of these ladies so I had to include them. Elle was done dirty by the canon and I adored her work in season one and the unique sensitivity she brought to the field when the BAU was still, as one unsub described it, “a boy’s club.” Alex took a little longer to grow on me (mostly because I was super bitter about Emily being gone that I didn’t want to like her), but the relationship she nurtured with Spencer was like no other, and her submitting her resignation to him instead of her direct superior gets me in the feels every time I watch it. 

5.) Erin Strauss: Strauss is another character done wrong by the canon, and I’m so furious and bitter for her still. I loved watching her grow from a stern politician into someone who genuinely cared about the BAU as part of her family and would do anything to protect them. It was true character development that she went from trying to come for Hotch’s job in season two to deliberately fabricating paperwork to try to catch the Replicator in season eight, the latter which she did without informing anyone because she knew it could put them in danger. Watching her grow close to the team, watching Alex forgive her for her transgressions and become bonded with Rossi and Hotch, I really thought we were going to have an awesome thing going in later seasons, and I was devastated when I saw that it was all poorly written build up just so the writers could snatch the rug out from under us when they killed her off. She gave her life to protect the BAU and I’m going to work to redeem her character in my pieces. (This is an Erin Strauss AND Haley Hotchner defense blog, leave my ladies alone.) 

6.) Dave Rossi: I sometimes take issue with Rossi’s character because he can be so damn arrogant and in early seasons seems to think he’s God’s gift to profiling, but I’m so fond of him for his nurturing relationship with the other characters. He doesn’t believe himself to have any family (of course we find out later he has a daughter, but besides that) so he takes it upon himself to make himself the father of the team. We see this dynamic with Emily and Spencer the most, with Morgan to some degree, with Ashley Seaver a lot (one of the only things I loved about Seaver’s presence in S6), and even with Jack’s little league team. Rossi who will do anything and everything for his team because those are his kids, dammit. 

7.) Penelope Garcia: Penelope is my little ray of sunshine! I love sweet and special headcanons about her and how she keeps up with the team and brings joy to their lives. We share a love for cats, and her origin story always makes me chuckle, especially the opening scene where she says, “I am a psychopath,” and Hotch says, “No, you’re not.” Her relationship with Morgan brings me joy, though I’m still frustrated with the canon for not following through on that and making it “just talk.” I also disliked how canon handled her relationship with Kevin. I love Penelope as a character, but there were some moments that I thought were not written very well for her which is why she isn’t higher up on the list.

8.) Jason Gideon: I know it’s popular to drag Gideon in this fandom, but I like him a lot, and I think his downfall played into the team very well in the end when it led to Rossi’s joining the team. He had some of my favorite moments, especially when he chose to save the school children rather than apprehend Frank (I like to imagine what the other characters would have done in his shoes if Frank had fixated on them instead) and when he saved Billie Copeland while everyone else was prepared to throw in the towel. I like his dynamic with the team and how they (other than Spencer) lose faith in him from the pilot and then gain it back slowly. I enjoy how he interacts with Spencer and teaches him things on screen. I do take issue with his allowing Spencer to view him as a father figure when he knows that that is what Spencer desperately needs and I think Gideon, as compassionate as he is, can be unintentionally manipulative and quite harmful. Still, I think he’s a very intriguing character and I regret we didn’t get more of him. 

9.) JJ: It’s not that I dislike JJ actively (though if you had asked me ten years ago, I probably would’ve said I did). I find JJ’s character incredibly difficult to relate to because, much like I mentioned with Penelope above, she is a victim of bad writing. Unlike Penelope, JJ’s bad writing is damn near ubiquitous from the time Henry is born until the end of the show. She can’t be in a scene with a victim or a family member without bringing up her family, and every time she shows her actual personality, it gets followed up with, “I’m also a mom!” I don’t relate to women whose entire lives revolve around their children, so finding any common ground with me and JJ is extraordinarily difficult. More than that, I abhor her relationship with Will and how Will was allowed to treat her so incredibly poorly and not only does the fandom worship him and never call him out--the writers acted like JJ was in the wrong. It drives me absolutely insane that Will and Haley treated their partners in the exact same way, their character arcs line up almost perfectly, but Will winds up happily married to JJ with two kids and Haley gets to bleed out on the floor of her own home while her husband clutches her dead body and weeps. This storyline is just part of the misogyny in the Criminal Minds canon, and though I like JJ, I have a hard time seeing past all of it to form a good bond with her. Fanon JJ > Canon JJ. 

10.) Derek Morgan: Derek is a character who I think had a lot of wasted potential. He’s the expert on obsessional crimes--never mentioned again. He’s the expert on explosives--mentioned two or three times. Chicago PD? We never get any information as to how he went from PD to FBI. Derek is such a wildly intelligent man, we know that, but much like Hotch, his intelligent gets forgotten in exchange for Spencer to exposit at random, except his is even more pronounced than Hotch’s. After the first few seasons, the writers just treated him like the brawn of the BAU with no other expertise or presence, and I hate that for him--it was such a criminal injustice against his character. Unlike JJ, I do love Derek (my feelings for JJ are generally neutral leaning toward positive--I adore Derek Morgan) but the writers did him so dirty. I don’t like his relationship with Savannah at all. As a CSA survivor, his whole CSA storyline generally bugs the hell out of me because it only gets mentioned when the writers want to go boohoo Derek has trust issues or have an excuse to say “hurrdurr buff guy hates pedophiles” and he’s never shown having any meaningful struggle with his trauma (can be said of most of the trauma in the show) or having any character development (he’s often criticized for not trusting the team as much as he should but he never grows from it). Derek is a character I’m very protective of, but as much as I love his relationships with Spencer, Penelope, and Emily, I just can’t defend the ways the writers let him down so grievously. 

[danwhobrowses]

Minor F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Rant - Ross is NOT the Worst

So I’ve hit a little breaking point here. We all know that Friends is iconic, reruns on loop are a huge part of many people’s downtime

But recently, everyone seems to get on Ross Geller’s ass

I think most of it is because it’s easy to pick on him, he’s neurotic and has a tendency to whine and be stubborn. The ‘We were on a break’ debacle still gets argued today - and they were on a break, Rachel even clarified ‘a break from us’, and it’s not like he went to the bar with intention to sleep with someone AND he was 100% right about Mark.

Here’s the thing though, everyone says ‘Ross is awful’ But every one of the Friends are awful, that’s the point, they are all flawed people who try to grow in a way where they get stability. Some may say ‘yeah, but Ross is the worst’ but to that I ask...is he? He’s certainly not great, being snobby, self-loathing and fragile in his masculinity

But let’s consider what the others have done Note: This is not a ‘Why XXX Deserves More Respect’ post, so I’m not all out defending Ross here, I’m just pointing out that his fellow Friends are not as pristine as made out

Phoebe - Phoebe’s past itself is layered in mystery and violence, at some point she stabbed a cop and she mugged a kid Ross, so we will glance over that as her having a past, but I don’t think Ross ever impersonated a police officer, a literal crime, and only got off because the officer was attracted to her. She also implies to be a bigamist since she was married to the ‘gay’ ice skater and also implied to have been married in Vegas, believing that it only counts in Vegas. She also immediately dates her identical twin sister’s ex-fiancé when he broke up with her which is a little bit sketchy, and off-handedly bullies Ross and Chandler, finding times to mock and undermine them. Not to mention the fact that she kissed David while dating Mike, and she also stole a kid’s cat thinking her mother’s soul was in it.

Monica - Equally if not more neurotic due to her OCD, Monica has that destructive side to her too. She sabotaged Rachel’s chances with Jean Claude Van Damme out of jealousy, she dated her ex’s son and she bet away her and Rachel’s apartment in the heat of competitiveness. While an accident she was also reckless with Ben and hit his head and her marriage to Chandler apparently mattered little when she flirted with Celebrities on the roof party. Monica’s hands may be the cleanest of the six but she is not without her faults.

Chandler - Perhaps the most neurotic and self-sabotaging, Chandler is partly responsible for a few of Ross’ relationships falling apart; letting slip that Ross had feelings for Rachel, making Ross write a pros and cons list between Rachel and Julie and taking him to a bar after the break - not to mention telling Ross not to be honest about it and erase all evidence of sleeping with the Xerox Girl, Chloe. He also leaves Ross’ son on a bus - who he took mainly to pick up women, kisses Joey’s sisters and then doesn’t recognize which one he kissed, toys on Rachel’s boss Joanna twice, kisses Joey’s girlfriend, steals several cheesecakes he doesn’t pay for and tells a kid he’s adopted, which is pretty damaging stuff. He also almost runs out on his wedding with Monica, and in an attempt to prank Ross says he has sex with Dinosaurs, and then that he’s dead. His fear of commitment also made him toy with Janice for the early seasons of their on-off relationship.

Joey - I mean, let’s just set aside most of the bachelor stuff, Joey has courted a few taken women, for instance his ex Angela who he wrapped Monica into helping so she could date Angela’s then-boyfriend too, he also slept with Kate while both were dating other people. Outside of dating he also attempted to sabotage one of his students for a part in a show, he abandons Chandler on a highway when he rightfully shows doubts about this movie gig and is too stubborn to admit that Chandler was right, he also threw Ginger’s wooden leg into a fire and bolted and like Chandler lost Ben, contributed to sabotaging Ross with the list and took Ross to a bar during the break. He impersonates a Doctor to get personal information on a patient for Phoebe, tries to steal an award he claims in someone else’s stead and tried to steal his childhood toy from a baby! Joey’s personality is the only thing that really makes people look past his flaws.

Rachel - people say Ross is the worst, but I’d contest that Rachel is far more destructive than Ross, especially towards Ross himself, the on-off relationship of the two had often caused Rachel to be conniving and borderline sociopathic towards him. Most of Ross’ non-Rachel relationships are sabotaged by Rachel - the most direct sabotage being convincing Bonnie to shave her head so she could appear the more attractive option - she invites conflict even without thinking about whether she actually wants to be with Ross, she also does this to Joey. She acts really hostile to Ross’ partners, Julie especially - even Ross was less aggressive towards Mark than Rachel was to Julie, the same can be said with Charlie too when Joey was dating her but not to the same extent as Julie. After kicking Ross out of her office for trying to do a romantic gesture on their year anniversary she instigates the ‘break’, and then immediately let Mark, the focal point of their core argument leading to this break, into her apartment even though she had to know it’d hurt Ross - which it does since this action also causes Ross to spiral further into sleeping with the Xerox girl. After that in Barbados, she was petty enough to immediately after breaking up Ross and Bonnie write an 18 page front-and-back waiver just to justify herself as in the right to date Ross again, in the aftermath of that she also dates a college student just to spite Ross - before Ross then dates a college student and Rachel then dates Elizabeth’s dad. No list of Rachel’s constant sabotage of Ross’ relationships would be complete without mentioning that time she went to (and successfully achieved to) stop Ross and Emily’s wedding too, Ross was legitimately happy and Rachel went to London, professed her love, realised how stupid she was being, and then still won the day. Rachel also demonstrates a lack of independence and petty jealousy of others, seen when out of jealousy for Chandler and Monica getting engaged she tries to booty call Ross twice, the second time getting her pregnant. She also tends to play victim even when she’s in the wrong; when Vegas happened, she painted Ross as a gay heroin addict for the annulment which spirals into Ross having the third divorce he wanted to avoid, she would also later reveal that she remembers suggesting they get married too. She also tries to lump blame on Ross for getting her pregnant even though the video proves that she came onto him and throws Ross under the bus with her father when confronted on why she is not with Ross despite having his baby.

Obviously, in spite of this people will sympathize with Rachel because Barry cheated on her and then went on their honeymoon with the person he cheated on, Maid of Honor Mindy, and because they would also feel that Ross cheated on her too. But Rachel was not above cheating herself: she had sex with Barry knowing he was engaged to Mindy, she would also be Mindy’s maid of honor for that wedding, on top of that she also convinced Ross to let her go on Ross and Emily’s honeymoon, the same thing she was mad at Barry for doing - meaning she was a hypocrite as well. Outside of Ross, Rachel also intentionally conspired to make Chandler and Monica uncomfortable for keeping their relationship secret, she dates her assistant Tag and breaks up with him on her birthday simply because he didn’t fit into her ‘plan’, she stole Monica’s perfect baby name and immediately agrees to marry Joey just so she wouldn’t be alone after having Ross’ baby. In the final episodes she also agrees to a job in Paris without considering how this’d affect Ross, the father of her child who already had to barely see his other son, when she intended to take Emma with her.

As entertaining the characters are they are, by design, not flawless; many times being vengeful saboteurs, having tendencies to be hostile, jealous, unfaithful, judgmental, hypocritical and compulsive liars, with each reaching maturation points at different points in the show (if at all) only in later seasons when they settle down. 

While this does include Ross in having his fair share of unlikable moments, I have always felt that it’s unfair that Ross becomes the ‘easy target’ especially when in my opinion Rachel is worse but forgiven mostly because she’s the pretty face and Ross looks like David Schwimmer.

[hailbop1701]

Down The Rabbit Hole

John Kennex/OC

KennexWhump!

Hello, my loves! I have another request here from @zecklein! I really, really hope I did good and that you like it. This actually my first whump fic so it took me a while.

The city abuzz with activity despite the late hour. The sound of a persistent ringing broke the peace in the previously quiet apartment. A soft groan blindly reached over to grab the offending object off of the coffee table. “Speak and it better be good,” came an irritated female voice. “Sorry detective, we have another scene for you,”  a voice said softly over the line. Another groan and the woman slowly moved off the couch, “Thanks Lewis, gimme the address and I’ll be right over.” she whispered tiredly. A soft chuckle echoed from the phone, “fall asleep on the couch again Thea?” 

Thea scowled, “no,” she lied and winced at the crick in her neck and the shooting pain in her shoulder. Lewis paused hesitating, “the killer crossed districts,” he said as Thea sniffed at her laundry hunting for something clean. She froze holding a pair of jeans halfway to her nose, “You’re shitting me. He’s back, he’s been dormant for months! Same M.O. the same?” she asked. Lewis sighed, “Yes, and don’t get too crazy on this,” he scolded. Thea scowled putting her phone on speaker, “When am I not crazy?” she asked, pulling on the pair of jeans. She could practically see Lewis rolling his eyes, “How about all the damn time. Not a lot of people can work with you,” he said patiently. 

Thea grabs a shirt that hung over the railing to the stairs that lead up to her bedroom, “I got nothin’” she said, pulling it over her head quickly. A huffed laugh made her smile, “I sent you the address and Max is waiting for you downstairs with coffee,” Lewis chuckled. “Oh Lewis if you weren’t gay I’d think you were being sweet on me,”  she purred before hanging up. Pulling on her boots and shrugging on her cheap faux leather jacket Thea grabbed her bag and was out the door. She was ten feet from her door when she remembered she forgot her gun, “Oh it’s gonna be that kind of day,” she muttered, turning on her heels to go back. 

A solid fifteen minutes and ten flights later; “the damn elevator is broken, really?” Thea was grumpily stalking over to her waiting MX. “Good morning detective,” he said in his usual monotone, Thea huffed and took the coffee he held out to her. “Not really Max,” she quipped back, getting into the driver's seat. Max tilted his head and moved to the passenger side after closing her door, “You’re blood pressure is unusually high, are you alright detective?” Max asked, looking at her like an over-talkative X-Ray machine. Thea wrinkled her nose and shifted in her seat, “I’m just tired Max, and maybe the fact that the killer I’ve been working so hard to catch has decided to meander over to a different district after taking a six-month-long cat nap!” she growled not taking her eyes off the road. Max was quiet for a moment as if he were thinking of the right words to say, “I pulled up the file on the detective you are working with,” he said with a blink of his eyes. Tightening her grip on the steering wheel Thea let out a breath; she picked up her coffee and took a long sip, “Okay, give it to me,”

Max looked ahead, “Detective John Kennex, 41 years of age. He has a successful career and he is single-” he said but stopped when Thea waved her hand, “What are you-stop. No, don’t even think about it,” she said whining. Max looked over at his human pointedly, “You are increasing in age detective Redding. It would serve to be in your best interest to procreate at-'' Thea screeched cutting off the android again, “No Max, you need to stop doing this shit! God, you’re worse than my mother!” she yelled. The MX closed his mouth and kept silent, the silence made Thea relax a little. “I can’t believe I got the MX who might have a personality, I blame the lightning that hit you last year,” she muttered, picking up her coffee again. 

Max opened his mouth but closed it again with an audible click. After sitting in traffic a moment too long Thea turned on the siren and proceeded to drive up onto the sidewalk. Finishing her coffee in one long swig, she rolled down her window and tossed it in a garbage can as it passed by. Max turned his head to stare at her for a long moment, face void of emotion but Thea knew the look he was giving her anyway. It read, ‘really?’ 

“Don’t you fucking judge me, mister let me set you up with a murder victim’s husband,” Thea said pointing a finger. Max looked away again, “We are coming up on our destination,” he warned as Thea turned into a relatively abandoned parking lot. “Really? damn, I didn’t know that,” she said putting the vehicle into park. Thea got out of the car and strode over to where numerous CSI milling around with their arms crossed. She moved through the holographic police tape and nodded at the officer who had waved her on; knowing Max was right there she held out a hand for some gloves and they promptly appeared. Pulling them on Thea stopped by one of the two bodies, squatting down she checked the neck first. “No ligatures,” she whispered with a sigh. 

“See John, I told you that you made a wrong turn.” a smooth voice echoed from behind Max. “I was just taking a detour!” another voice shot back. Thea rolled her eyes and held out her hand again, a penlight was dropped into it. She gently pulled open the dead woman’s mouth to peer inside, “Nothing obstructing the airway, and…” Thea turned the victims head to check behind the left ear, “the killer’s signature. Just perfect the asshole got brave and hunted outside his comfort zone,” she muttered. Standing up Thea turned around to see two men bickering close by, one android and one detective who was kinda cute. In a grumpy, ruffled kind of way. Thea cleared her throat looking at the two with raised eyebrows, “Murder in your own district and I beat you to the scene?” she joked testing the waters. The cute one opened his mouth to retort but was elbowed by the DRN in the ribs. 

Max scrunched his eyebrows together, “But detective Redding you drove fifteen miles over the speed limit and then cut traffic by driving on the sidewalk,” he said matter of factly. A snort of laughter from Kennex made her eye twitch. Pinching the bridge of her nose and looking at the ground Thea pointed to the car, “begone you oversized lightning rod, you’ve lost crime scene privileges.” she said flatly. The MX hesitated before striding over to the car and getting into the passenger seat. Looking up again she saw that Kennex’s android had a hand covering his mouth to keep from laughing. Kennex laughed openly, not caring what so ever, “he’s such a handful,” Thea muttered with an eye roll. She held out her hand, “Detective Thea Redding. Sorry that this guy came into your neck of the woods, he’s been dormant for six months and I guess he wanted a change of scenery,” she said with a wince. The other detective took Thea’s hand; his engulfing hers, “John Kennex and that disco ball is Dorian. This is the twelfth body?” he asked letting go.

Thea huffed, “Yeah, he officially turned into a serial killer at body three and four. Married couple. What’s strange about the killings though is that they die of asphyxiation but they aren’t strangled and they didn’t choke on anything, and the tox screens come back normal. We’ve been working on going through each victim's histories hoping to find a connection between them but so far nothing besides the obvious,” she said nodding towards the wedding rings on each victim's left hands. She turned the dead woman to the side again and showed them the small carving behind the woman’s left ear. A heart.  

“A heart?” Kennex asked, looking at Thea questioningly and she nodded lips in a thin line. The sun had come up by now and people who were walking by were starting to linger. Thea looked into the crowd with narrowed green eyes, “He’s meticulous but he seems random, I know for a fact that he’s not. I managed to narrow him down to a specific area then he disappeared, and now he’s outside his hunting grounds.” she ranted in frustration stepping aside letting the M.E. get to the body. “Maybe you were getting too close, were there any close calls?” Kennex asked almost reassuringly. Thea bit her lip and nodded, “Yeah the Pier. I managed to track him back to one of his dens. He managed to get there first and torched it. I saw him, sort of. Too much smoke and the flames were too big. I ran after him anyway and got shot in the shoulder for my trouble,” she said glaring at the growing crowd behind the police barrier. Dorian winced, “I’m guessing that’s when he disappeared?” he asked and Thea nodded and patted her pockets when her phone rang, she pulled it out of her back pocket and walked away to a quiet corner. 

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Kennex looked at the crowd that gathered outside the police line, “Dorian do a scan, see if anything pops up.” he said quietly the android nodded and quickly recorded and scanned the crowd, names popping and saved for later. “What do you think?” Dorian asked looking over at him. John shrugged, “ I’m not sure yet. I do know she’s close to this one, it’s personal for her now-” 

“No, not the case! I was talking about detective Redding herself!” Dorian interrupted smiling. John looked at his partner with a raised eyebrow, “What about her?” he asked, quickly turning his eye to the crime scene. Dorian’s lips twitched into a smirk, “I saw how you looked at her. And your heart rate increased when you shook her hand, not to mention your tes-” John whipped his head around and clapped a hand over Dorain’s mouth. “Don’t you even dare. Plus you promised to never do that again!” he hissed. Dorian held up his hands in surrender. John took his hand off Dorian’s mouth as Thea walked back to them pushing her phone into her back pocket, “I got word from my tech guy. On the last body, there was a cell phone, it didn’t belong to the VIC and it had some crazy encryption and obviously, it has taken them months to get into it. The thing is, it unlocked by itself,” she said shoving her hands into her jacket pockets with a deep frown on her face. John cleared his throat after he realized he was staring too long, “what did they find?” he asked, crossing his arms, “a single voicemail. They said they sent it to your precinct.” Thea said with a sigh. A CSI walked up to her side and handed over some evidence bags, “thanks,” she whispered, taking them and tech nodded before rushing off. 

“Do you mind if I get a ride with you? I want Max to take these back to-'' Thea stopped when she saw John and Dorian’s faces, “You named your MX?” John asked with a surprised laugh and Thea nodded almost sheepishly. “Yeah, it sort of just happened, and then it stuck. He was struck by lightning and became like a Jewish mother,” she said grimacing. John opened his mouth to say something smart but he just couldn’t come up with anything, “Wow,” he muttered running a hand through his hair. “We’ll wait in the car detective,” Dorian said kindly. Thea smiled at him before jogging over to her police-issued vehicle.  John shook his head, “how do you do that?” he asked the android who had just shrugged, “I don’t know man, but you should consider asking her out,” he said opening a door to the backseat of the car. “Stop that, what is it with you and my love life?” John asked, glaring at Dorian in the rearview mirror. The passenger side door suddenly opened making John jump ever so slightly, “Okay let’s go!” Thea said buckling. As John pulled out from the scene Thea bit her lip, “can we stop and get coffee?” she asked and John huffed amused. “Woman after my own heart,” he said heading for the closest shop. He didn’t notice the light pink of a blush spread over Thea’s cheeks. But Dorian did, he smiled and began to scheme. 

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“- and then boom! He was struck by lightning!” Thea said gesturing wildly with her hands. John wheezed from laughing so hard while Dorian had a huge grin on his face, eyes dancing with amusement. “I don’t believe you. That is too perfect to happen in real life?” Kennex said with a shake of his head. Thea held a mock offended hand to her heart, “Why detective Kennex are you calling a lady a liar?” she asked with a mock southern belle accent. Kennex smirked and had the perfect retort when he was cut off by a voice over the main screen, “You’re no lady Redding! I’ve seen you drink alcoholics under the table,”  Thea flipped off the screen but with a smile, “Fuck off Toby, and that guy deserved getting hustled in pool. He was an idiot. God that night...I’m never drinking tequila again.”  she said with an eye roll and a grimace. The man on the screen tilted his head back and laughed before becoming serious again.  

 They walked into the bullpen, Thea’s eyes darting everywhere taking stock of the differences. A lean frazzled-looking man stood there holding onto a tablet bouncing on the balls of his feet. As soon as the trio was in range, the guy held out a hand for Thea to shake. “Hello, detective Redding! I heard from your techs Lewis and obviously Toby they had sent every report and bit of information you gathered on the killer, and I must say you’re very thorough,” he said it all without letting go of her. John sighed, “Rudy,” he said and the tech quickly let go and backed up. “Sorry, I’m Rudy,” he said nervously. Thea gave him a kind smile, “it’s nice to meet you Rudy. What do you have for me?” she asked sweetly. Rudy stuttered for a second before hitting a button on the tablet wordlessly, the disguised voice made Thea tense. She looked up at Toby but his image was gone. 

“Hello detective Redding, how’s the investigation coming along? I’m sure an intelligent woman like yourself can figure it all out in time; before the next two bodies drop. Bodies eleven and twelve,” the killer clicked his tongue in a disapproving manner, “I disappointed detective, you’ve missed me again, though I do have to give it to you. You almost had me, that one sunny afternoon. The pier is such a big place, so easy to get lost. I had to cross district lines ahead of schedule. It took me some time I grant you, rabbit holes can be deep. How’s the shoulder?” the voice chuckled darkly adding in the last like an afterthought and Thea’s arm automatically jolted in pain at the memory. She hissed as the voice continued, “Detective Kennex I welcome you to the fold and I wish you luck; I feel like you’re going to need it.” he chuckled and then silence. “I feel like that was a threat,” Kennex mused unconcerned. 

Thea was silent staring off into space biting her thumbnail, the room around her was busy bustling with people but the small bubble around her was silent. A silence that was almost deafening. Someone brought her out of her thoughts by gently placing a hand on her arm. Looking up she saw Dorian looking down at her with slight concern in his eyes. “I’m okay, I’m just-” she trailed off and pulled the tablet from Rudy’s hands. She scrolled through the written transcript of the voicemail. “He said that he had to move districts ahead of schedule,” she said and tapped at the screen in her hands. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the pictures and profiles of each victim to the big screen. Thea looked at Kennex, “What do you see?” she asked expectantly. John looked at the crime scene photos, eyes darting back and forth. “Married couples,” he frowned, and then his eyes widened a fraction. “They’re successful, a bit snobbish, “ he said touching the screen bringing up their social media accounts. “Arrogant is the word you’re looking for.” Thea pointed out. Dorian stepped forward-looking at the giant screen in front of them, “Do you have a map of the body drops?” he asked and Thea wordlessly brought up the map she and Lewis had made. The map of the district appeared and each crime scene location popped up one by one.  They formed a large circle that covered several miles, “That’s how we narrowed it down to the pier,” she said with a sigh. Thea quickly expanded the map so it showed delta and the new crime scene. “He’s found a new den,” she scowled, running a hand through her hair so the brown waves were pushed back.  Kennex appeared on her other side looking at the map intently,  Thea mentally tried to connect the dots.

“Rudy do you know when the voice message was left?” Redding asked, turning toward the man. Rudy looked like a deer caught in some headlights for a minute before consulting his phone. “Uh, six this morning,” he said looking up. Thea sighed expecting the answer, “He was watching us,” she muttered irritated. “Dorian, did anyone in the crowd today look odd to you?” Kennex asked leaning against what Thea assumed was his desk. Dorian stared into space for a moment and tilted his head to the side, “I have an adult gender unknown with a hood covering their face. Their body language is relaxed and he’s staring in detective Redding’s direction.” he said, turning his full attention back to Kennex and Redding. John seemed stone-faced as he eyed the big screen in front of the room, while Thea closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I have an idea but neither of you will like it,” she said biting her lip. Dorian and John looked at each other almost nervously. 

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“You’re right, I hate this plan,” John deadpanned over the secure comm. Thea chuckled and walked the dark street holding a warm cardboard cup of coffee to keep the cold away. Snow slowly trickled down from the blackened sky, “He’s going to go after one of us, trackers and teams are in place. It’ll be fine. I hope,” she said discreetly. Kennex snorted over the line, “when this is done you and I are going to have a talk about what’s fine,” he said a slight smile in his voice. “I look forward to it,” Thea chuckled and took a sip of her hot drink. “You two are just adorable, I think SWAT has an ongoing bet on when you go on your first date,” Dorian teased over the line. Kennex cursed the DRN out, while Thea blushed and cleared her throat. John abruptly cut out, his harsh insults stopping. “Aw come on John, I’m just teasing,” Dorian said with a light chuckle, the laughs of the SWAT team could also be heard. Thea smirked but it melted away when the man didn’t answer, “John?” Thea questioned voice even. No reply. “Is there a visual on Kennex?” she asked, stopping at the mouth of an alley. There was a long pause, “No visual,” 

“Fuck!” Thea shouted, dropping her coffee she started to run toward Kennex’s last known position. Thea stopped in the middle of the abandoned street panting; Dorian ran up to her with SWAT on his ass. “How in the hell did someone get past us?” he asked looking up and down the street. “He’s a hacker and a good one. We were compromised,” Thea growled angrily. Mostly at herself. A shrill ringing broke the tense silence. Gritting her teeth Thea pulled out her phone, “Hello?” ground out. A dark chuckle over the line made her freeze. She looked up at Dorian with wide eyes; his face immediately lit up hoping to trace the call. “Nice try detective but you can’t trace me, tell the DRN better luck next time,” the disguised voice hissed. Dorian shook his head at Thea and she scowled, “Where is he?” she growled out.

 “Oh, I assure detective Kennex is quite safe, waiting for you in fact. Come alone and you both will be free,”  the voice purred over the line. Thea met Dorian’s eyes; he set his jaw and shook his head. “No tracker, no android,” they whispered, making Dorian shake his head again. “Fine,” she said and the android in front of her huffed, tossing up his hands. “Good detective, now walk.” the killer growled. Thea looked at Dorian apologetically and stalked down the street phone attached to her ear. “What do I call you anyway, I can’t just keep saying ‘the guy’ in my head,” she inquired, trying to keep the conversation going. The voice snorted “Call me Hatty,” the voice-Hatty said in amusement. Thea paused midstep, “So you’re a woman,” she muttered. Hatty laughed openly and dropped the voice changer. “Very good detective! I almost lost hope in your abilities! Turn right at the corner and keep going until the end,” she instructed proudly. Thea did as she was told, “Hatty short for Harriet?” she asked matter of factly. Hatty hummed undoubtedly smirking “Can I asked why you killed them?” she asked bitterly, “they deserved it, detective. They had no souls, they only thought of themselves and cheated to get what they wanted. They didn’t work hard as I did! But you’d never understand, all you have to do is bat your pretty eyes to get what you want! I’m the main character now!” Harriet shrieked, losing her cool.  A male voice shouted something in the background and then a resounding crack echoed over the line, “Hatty, what did you do! You said you wouldn’t hurt him!” Thea hissed angrily into her phone. The woman huffed a sigh, “Relax, he’s fine. Just a little reminder on who’s in charge,’ she said mildly annoyed. Thea gripped her phone tighter and came to a stop at a series of abandoned buildings close to the wall, “straight ahead and down the stairs detective, see you soon.” Hatty chuckled and Thea heard nothing but the dial tone. 

Taking a deep breath Thea opened the front door of the old apartment building. Dust covered every surface making the woman wrinkle her nose; using her phone as a flashlight Thea eased forward toward the labeled basement stairs. Nudging the door open with her foot Thea looked down into the darkness, “Yeah, this isn’t creepy at all,” she whispered. After hitting the hard cement at the bottom Thea looked down each long hall on either side of her. One was pitch black, while the other had a light at the end, “I’ll take the less creepy hall for two hundred Alex,” she whispered to the dust mites. Thea moved quickly and quietly until she came to a wide-open room, which was filled with books and a desk housing monitors, and a jammer. “There go the trackers,” she grumbled under her breath. On the monitors were dozens of pictures of her; at home, at work, at her favorite coffee shop. On the desk sat an old copy of “Alice’s adventures: Through the Looking Glass” she tapped the book with her knuckle curiously before turning to the rest of the room. That’s when she saw him, “John!” she ran over and knelt down by the bloody unconscious man. Placing two fingers on his neck Thea sighed in relief, shoulders slumping relaxing ever so slightly. “Welcome to your repentance detective,” a feminine voice hissed, and then there was nothing. 

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Thea groaned when someone shook her shoulder, “Hey Redding. Thea wake up.” someone whispered to her gently. Her eyes fluttered open only to meet soft green ones staring right back at her, “Hey there,” she whispered slowly lifting her head from Kennex’s lap. “You okay?” he asked and Thea waved her hand with a grimace, “I’m just peachy,” she slurred squinting at the brightness of the room. “Concussions are fun,” she muttered, swallowing hard. They both got to their feet and gazed around the room. Mirrors, all they could see was themselves reflecting endlessly. The room dimmed, and the harsh light from before was gone. The sound of a vacuum made them freeze and it became hard to breathe; Thea looked over at John who had clamped his mouth shut to save his air. ‘This is how she does it then,’ she thought dryly holding her breath as well. The floor glowed in a red hue revealing words on the floor. The world tilted and began to grow grey around the edges. Thea couldn’t hold it anymore and choked falling to her knees; Kennex was beside her hoping to do something. Thea pointed at the inscription on the floor but he didn’t seem to understand it. She fell to her side gasping for air that wouldn’t come, she stared at the words mindlessly. She couldn’t process what it said, Thea felt a hand cup her cheek. Kennex turned her head so she was looking up at him; he was fading fast. He brushed the hair out of her face and took one last breath; and then he slowly gave it to her. Their lips connected and air filled her lungs. Thea gasped and snapped her mouth shut to hold the air in. She watched as Kennex fell to the floor twitching, eyes wide. 

Thea rolled over eyeing the quote again, ‘ She who saves a single soul, saves the universe.’ it read. She pushed to her feet and staggered over to the mirrored wall; she put her hands on the cold, smooth surface hoping to find something; anything. Her vision was starting to blacken again, she was running out of time. Placing her forehead against the mirror Thea pushed her mind. She thought back, ‘A heart. A heart meaning what?  Hatty. An angry little girl...who loves Alice in Wonderland.’ she thought, “Rabbit holes are deep.” 

Thea pounded a fist on the mirror in front of her in frustration, everything was fading. ‘Alice in Wonderland what did it teach you? Six impossible things, high caterpillars, off with their heads...and nothing is what it seems.’ she spun around to take in the room again. Her infinite reflection seemed to mock her, ‘not as it seems,’ she chanted to herself as she staggered to the center of the room where John lay unconscious. Narrowing her eyes Thea looked at the floor, it was so smooth and inviting. She let her knees buckle so her eye was level with the ground below her. ‘No, not the ground. Tinted glass.’  she thought dimly. The exit was below them; down the rabbit hole. Thea with the last of her strength picked up her foot and slammed it down on the glass below her. It cracked. She opened her mouth in a silent gasp and brought her foot down again. The crack grew in size so it spiderwebbed beneath her and John. The strength left her as quickly as it came, she slumped to the side over John’s torso eyes giving in to the spreading darkness. 

As Thea closed her eyes she failed to notice the glass cracking and spiderwebbing to each corner of the room, or better yet the modified shipping container that they were housed in. The sound of shattering glass filled the empty space; a large empty parking garage and the two detectives fell six feet to the ground. Twenty long seconds passed before Thea took a gasping breath. She rolled to her side and coughed harshly, she yelped and winced at the glass biting into her. “K-Kennex.” she gasped out seeing his prone form. He wasn’t moving his chest was rising and falling as it should; Thea pulled herself to her knees and crawled painfully towards him. Thea bent over John and listened for a heartbeat when she found none she laced her hands together and began chest compressions. Counting thirty compressions Thea pinched the man’s nose and tilted his head back, she puffed two breaths into him. Nothing. She counted thirty more and did two more breaths. Nothing. Thirty more compressions and the tear were falling down her cheeks. Taking another big breath Thea breathed two more into him. Kennex gasped into her mouth making Thea quickly straighten. A hysterical laugh bubbled past her lips and she fell painfully backward onto the glass-covered floor. “You’re okay, you were only dead for a minute or two,” she said reaching an arm over to pat his chest lightly.“That’s comforting,” he wheezed taking her hand and holding it.

 “I’m never reading The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland again,” Thea muttered as she gingerly got to her feet. She winced when she saw that they were covered in little shards of tinted glass. She braced herself and pulled John to his feet, “Oh I’m going to feel this tomorrow,” he gasped clutching onto his newly broken ribs. “Sorry about that,” Thea said guiltily and John waved it off. “You saved my ass, and all you should be concerned about is what type of drink you’re gonna have when I buy it for you,” he said casually as they wandered down a pitch-black hall. “Are you asking me out Kennex?” Thea asked teasingly and John huffed trying to hold in a laugh. “It’s possible Ms, Redding. It depends, is that a yes?” he asked tilting his head down towards her. Thea smiled softly, “I’ll give you an answer when we catch the killer detective Kennex,” she said coyly. John sighed and nodded and then groaned when they reached the basement stairs. 

It took them ten minutes to reach the street and another five to get far enough away from the jammer to make a call. Thea turned on her phone and was greeted with a functional but heavily cracked screen, she looked over at John who was leaning heavily against the brick wall of an old storefront. Thea tapped at her phone and frowned, “The lights are on but no one's home,” she said holding up the useless device. Kennex groaned tossing his own phone aside, “If we keep walking I’m sure we’ll find Dorian. He probably has everyone looking for us,” he said shoving off the wall. Thea nodded and took some of Johns’s weight as they walked. As soon as they had a view of the main road they were engulfed by light and swarmed by people. Cops and EMS alike. Dorian darted forward and pulled both detectives in for a hug, “Ah come on Dorian, enough!” Kennex whined. The android laughed and scanned each of you, “Hospital, now.” he ordered waving a few EMTs over with their stretcher. “What about-” Thea asked but Dorian cut her off, “We found Harriet Chase running from the area, she had John’s badge and an old book. She was being interrogated for your location but she wouldn’t speak a word except for Alice in Wonderland quotes,” he said gently pushing Thea onto a waiting stretcher. The EMTs strapped her in careful of the glass embedded in her skin, she looked over at John who was already watching her. Thea raised an eyebrow making Kennex grin, “How about that drink, detective?” he asked as he was being lifted into an ambulance. Thea grinned back, “You’re on Kennex, I’ll even kick your ass in pool!” she called out before the doors slammed shut. 

Thea chuckled as she was placed inside her respective ambulance and was shocked to see a stoic MX sitting there back ramrod straight. “Max?” she questioned and the android looked down at her, lip twitching. His version of a smile, “Hello detective,” he greeted before falling silent. Shaking her head Thea smiled, “I have a date,” she said in a whisper. The MX looked at her emotionless to others but to her, the twitches in his face said differently, it said ‘about damn time,’

If this is well-liked I'm willing do another Chapter where Hatty and Thea meet face to face and the date!

Tags:

@zecklein

@thottiewithashotgun

@writerdee1701

@lauraaan182

[iggy-of-fans]

Of Being a Ladybug part 2

So, Paris is about 6 hours ahead of Metropolis . So if Marinette sent the message at say… 8 pm, and Jagged got it at 9 because he was at dinner, then getting lawyers straightened out and all that ...say Marinette starts school at 10 am, then it would be approximately 4am in Metropolis. It would be a 7 hour flight, meaning she'd leave at noon on Monday, and arrive at 2am on Tuesday. 

The cons of being a reporter. 

TUESDAY 2AM Paris 

Lois was as excited as she was exhausted. Paris! She'd always wanted to go to Paris. As her taxi drove her past the Louvre and she could see the Eiffel tower in the distance, she couldn't help but remember the call she received yesterday. 

"I know it's early, Lois, but I have a job for you in Paris" Bruce said from the other line. 

"I'm listening." 

"The satellites from the Tower have been picking up irregularities. Burning buildings, the Eiffel Tower toppled or completely missing, then the next pass everything is normal. Hal even claims he saw a giant baby on cams once. I've gone over all the pictures of the last year, a couple of weeks ago there… I can't explain it. I'll send you the images and we'll try to find a believable cover story for going in the middle of the school year like this"

"I understand, thank you Bruce. I'll book the earliest flight I can." Burning buildings? The Eiffel tower toppled? Nothing had been said in the news. If something on a grand scale like that were happening, they would already know. 

"Thank you, Lois. I will of course pay for your accommodations while there," Bruce offered. A consolation for sending her around the globe for film effects. 

She barely got a "thank you" out, before he hung up. She flopped back onto the bed, Clark raising an eyebrow at her. Of course he'd heard both sides of the conversation, so he obviously had his own opinion to share. 

"Well? What do you think?" she asked him. If Clark gave it some weight, she might take it more seriously. 

"A video was sent by the Mayor of Paris about a year ago, asking for help because his city was being overrun by stone monsters and their only hope lay with a couple of kids. I watched it and it looked like some cheap special effects and deleted it like the other publicity stunts people pull. Diana was the one to notice the inconsistencies with the Eiffel tower, and she swears she saw a couple kids flying on rooftops. It's why Bruce started investigating. But he has no reason to be in Paris at all, since Wayne Enterprises doesn't have an hq there, and he wants to save that excuse for if there IS any trouble. Anyways, try to enjoy your little vacation while you're there" Clark smiled. 

"... Does Bruce know the mayor called for Justice League intervention?" Lois asked slowly. This… Was… Not… happening. 

"No? I mean, just some publicity stunts, Lois. We get 20 of them a day" Clark dismissed. Lois was beyond words so she got up and started packing, and turned on her civilian phone to call for a flight. Before she could get dialing she got a call incoming. 

"Penny? Is everything okay? WHAT? YES! Of course I do! That's huge! Yes, let me just call my boss…. Oh? Oh wow! Thank you! Yes, I'll see you tonight… Or I guess tomorrow for you…yes. I understand. Thank you" Lois couldn't believe her luck. She grabbed her JL phone and called Bruce. 

"Bruce! I've got a cover! I've been asked by an old college friend to interview her client and a few others on Parisian TV. Yes, totally legit, she just called me… Penny Rolling. Yes, yes Bruce! I will keep my eyes open. Did you know the Mayor tried to call for JL intervention a year ago? No? Clark told me there was a video but thought it was a publicity stunt. Maybe try to find it and give me a heads up… okay… Thank you Bruce. That'll be perfect! I'll get to the bottom of this… Okay, thank you."

Finally done with the update she rushed to call the airline. 

" NOON?!"

Before she could take in the breathtaking view any longer, the cab stopped. Lois paid the fare and stepped out and looked up. It was a beautiful hotel, owned by Mayor Bourgeois. The cabbie was loading her bags onto a trolley with a Bellhop waiting stoically by the doors. Just as Lois went to inquire about Penny, the door opened and out she came. 

"You cut your hair!" Lois exclaimed, giving her friend a hug and a LA Bise. 

"You, my beautiful ginger, are late! Had you arrived a few hours earlier you would have had quite the show!" Penny said with a smile. She'd always been jealous of Lois's hair. 

"It's Paris, Penny. How exciting could it possibly be?" Lois asked jokingly, wondering just what her visit here would truly reveal. 

I was going to end it here, but I believe I owe you all an action scene 😉 

MONDAY 10AM PARIS

Ladybug flew over buildings in the direction of the explosions. She really wished she'd had a chance to see the classroom before leaving to see if she would have to once again go up against Alya. Or Lila. 

Maybe if she was lucky it would be another unfortunate soul altogether. One she hopefully didn't know personally. Because it was starting to really take a toll on Ladybug, every time she came face to face with a friend or loved one. 

Before she was ready she was at the scene. And she was shocked. The Akuma of the day was a barely visible outline of a woman. She had a flowy garment on and only became visible when she touched a person. The person would immediately admit to bad deeds, anything from finishing the ice cream container to more horrible crimes. 

Ladybug watched as a couple hid behind a vehicle to escape the fate, only for the akuma to lift and throw the car, one handed, into another vehicle, creating another explosion. The akuma drifted ghost like towards the couple and became fully corporeal as she touched them, first the man ("I tapped your phone! I hated how much time you spent always going out!" he blurted out) then the woman ("I  can't stand being with you!" she screamed back). Ladybug swallowed. This was not good. A non corporeal being with the strength of ten men and the ability to… Spill secrets? Ladybug wasn't sure, but didn't want to get too close before she had the full story. She went to grab her yo-yo to call Chat, only for him to pop up, baton swinging. 

"What have we here? Another scary movie victim?" Chat asked, drawing all eyes to them. Ladybug wanted to scream. Or toss him off the building. Once! Just. ONCE! 

"I… am Guilty Conscience. That voice that should tell you not to do bad… It Is too quiet in most people's heads. So therefore I shall make you scream your misdeeds to the world. No longer shall there be hiding behind white lies for innocence" the ghost whispered, yet to Ladybug she may as well have screamed. 

"Che, you're out of your league! I have a picture perfect record!" Chat smirked, ever brash and fearless. Without a second thought, he jumped off the building towards the ghostly form. And just as Ladybug predicted, went right through her. She did not become solid upon contact with a human unless she so chose to. Great… 

"Chat! Fall back, we need a plan!" Ladybug called, stepping back from the roof and readying her yo-yo. 

"Just lucky charm her and we can go out for coffee!" Chat yelled back, swinging his baton uselessly through GC. Ladybug shook her head. She was almost 90% sure they'd need more backup. 

"Lucky Charm!" she cried, throwing her yo-yo high. Down fell a teapot. Back up it is, she sighed. 

"Chat! Fall back, I'm going for backup!" she called out again. 

"Awe, but M'lady, I thought I was the only one you needed in your life!" she was sure he thought he sounded charming. She cringed. 

"Not now Chat. I'll be back in a while, keep her from following me but keep your distance. No need to waste your energy for now." 

Had she looked down, or paid more attention to her surroundings, she may have seen Lila hiding in an alley not far from the akuma. She may have noticed her trying to follow her. She may even have taken another route to get where she was going. Later she would regret not being more vigilant. 

To be Continued...

Looks like me tag list is officially full. I'll try to send the rest in the comments!

@sidd-hit-my-butt-ham @kuroko26 @northernbluetongue @zelladane @chez-pezeater @luciferge @vixen-uchiha @bluerosette23 @mochinek0 @krunchy-tuna @treebrosha @geekydragonyt @vivilakitty @sassy-spocko @bluefiredemon-blog @mindfulmagics @thornangelic727 @sidefrienda @xxmadamjinxx @thepeacetea @pandocatxd @whomthefyck @lamestplaceintheworld @miraculous-ninja @mikantsume @unabashedbookworm @kandi-pie @2sunchild2 @redsparrow12 @shamefullove @cadencehood @thatonechickathottopic @yin-390 @tazanna-blythe @bb-basbusa @zazzlejazzle @fanfictionaddict13 @royalchaoticfangirl @god-is-dead-and-so-am-i @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @slytherinsheashire @imanerddealwith @tinybrie @angelisalise @graduatedmelon @trickstermiraculous @ayuchan07 @thatrandomfandomsgirl @sweatyruinsstudentbored @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay

[swissmissficrecs]

My favorite fics of 2011

Continuing to sift through old bookmarks, here are my favorites from 2011 that are still up:

26 Pieces by Lanning (28K, E, Johnlock) Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (20K, E, Johnlock) ‘John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.’

A Love with No Name by aceofhearts (49K, M, Johnlock, Warstan, Mary/Irene) In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

A Thorough Examination / In Depth by emungere (15K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock watched John's mouth as that smile slid away too quickly. There had been something there, something he'd not had time to analyze. He was left with the unsettling impression of having witnessed an expression that didn't belong on John Watson's face at all. In its wake it left the equally unsettling thought that perhaps he didn't know John as entirely as he thought he did.

A Week in the Country by chainsaw_poet (20K, NR, Gen) Sherlock's lifestyle has taken its toll on his health and John is worried. With Mycroft's help, John coerces Sherlock into taking a holiday in the country to get some rest. Unfortunately, their trip doesn't quite turn out to be a relaxing as John had planned, when Sherlock's latest case decides to catch up with them.

Blind Man's Bluff by Rae666 (25K, T, Gen) "We are gods among mortals. But even gods must be tested." Sherlock loses his sight temporarily and must rely on his other senses and John in order to solve the case at hand. But as the killer draws closer, could the pair be in more danger than they first thought?

Contamination by LauraJV (16K, M, Gen) In which an artistic murder draws Irene Adler and her brother Nathan into the lives of Lestrade and Holmes, and Dr John Watson balances his morals against the happiness that is a warm gun.

Dehumanise Me by deuxexmycroft (26K, E, Johnlock) John is sent down for life after accidentally murdering someone, and gets snatched up to play prison wife for a strange man named Sherlock Holmes.

Disguise by kaalee (55K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock's disguises are little more than a nuisance to John until one day he walks into the kitchen dressed as someone from John's past, someone John had tried to forget.

Evidence of Human Life by thesardine (16K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock's sanity deteriorates while he and John are stranded on a deserted island.

Floriography by lbmisscharlie (21K, M, Johnlock, Warstan) Florist!AU - Sherlock is a florist and he's doing the flowers at the wedding of John Watson and Mary Morstan. John's about to marry his best friend in the world. He's happy, in love, and content with Mary. So why can't he get tall, enigmatic man who did the flowers at his wedding out of his mind?

Getting Better by noxcandida (75K, T, Gen) Tristram Holmes dreads attending his new primary school, fearing he'll be teased and bullied as usual. Only, nothing goes exactly as he thinks it will when he finds himself with a seemingly unlikely friend in Emily Watson.

In My Master's House 'Verse by BrighteyedJill (185K, E, Johnlock, Mystrade) As a new slave in the Holmes household, John is having trouble finding his place. (This series began posting in 2011 and continued until 2014)

In The Land Of The Blind by entanglednow (12K, M, Johnlock) Apocalypse.

Indecorous by Basingstoke (55K, E, Johnlockary but it’s a different Mary than in the show) In which John learns to balance a kinky girlfriend, an asexual boyfriend, a ten-inch cock, his sister, the neighbours, his friends, and his blog. Some are more balanced than others.

Lacuna by coloredink (15K, E, Johnlock) God, it must have been terrible, to think that he would never have this again.

Let's Make a Bed Out in the Rain by theimprobable1 (17K, M, Johnlock and Warstan) John is devastated after his long-term girlfriend leaves him. Sherlock helps him through it.

Level 65 Paladin Looking for Group by etothepii (10K, T, Gen) "I think I met someone," John says at his next therapist's appointment. "A friend." "Really?" Ella asks. She sounds pleased, and also surprised. "What's his name?" John nods. "Really. His name's Sherlock. He -- he plays the same game as me, the online one. We party together."

Major Pieces by Lindentreeisle (31K, T, Gen) Sherlock knew that he could thoroughly rely upon John Watson's moral sense. And that's why he knew that Lestrade was wrong, wrong, wrong.

My Phone’s on Vibrate For You by misslucyjane (21K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock texts John all the time. Today’s different.

Never-Ending Cycle (orphaned) (17K, T, Johnlock) Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

On The Ice by berlynnwohl (35K, E, Johnlock) "Sherlock, I once saw you taste a vacuum cleaner attachment that had been used as a murder weapon, so can we please not pretend that Dungeons and Dragons is too weird for you?"

Parallel by brbsoulnomming (77K, M, Johnlock) There's a case at a secondary school/University, some series of threats or string of bizarre murders that has the entire campus shaken. In the course of the investigation, Sherlock and John meet two students. And, because they both want to help with the investigation, they get to watch them become friends and fall a little in love. And that makes them feel things about themselves that they've been working very hard to not feel, thank you.

Secondary Exposure by thesardine (18K, T, Gen) After twenty years, the killer who abducted John as a child has resurfaced.  Now John and Sherlock must track him down before he claims another victim, and at the same time navigate the shifting nature of their relationship.

Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc by etothepii (20K, M, Johnlock) "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. It's the family motto." "What does it mean?" "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us." (Addams Family crossover)

The Art Of Seduction by flawedamythyst (97K, E, Johnlock, Mystrade, Sheriarty, John/OMC, Sherlock/OMC) Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon.

The Baker Street Series by magicbunni (199K, T, Gen with background John/Sarah) Conspiracy and murder find Sherlock Holmes and John Watson surrounded by covert enemies in the heart of Scotland Yard. Together, they unearth clues that illuminate the scope, depth, and distorted psychology behind the crime. And, after a preemptive strike ordered by the mastermind they pursue, Holmes elects to continue the investigation under conditions that will force John Watson to fight for his friend's -- colleague's -- life.

The Penultimate Problem by Random_Nexus (18K, E, Johnlock) Angst, apocalypse-light, pseudo-hiatus, and other hijinx ensue.

The Love Song of Dr. John H. Watson by Kate_Lear (11K, E, Johnlock) John takes Sherlock out for the evening on Valentine's Day.

The Perfect Specimen by Cleo2010 (27K, E, Johnlock) After seeing John undressed for the first time and making certain observations, Sherlock quickly becomes obsessed with a certain body part belonging to his flatmate. This is the story of how that first sighting came to be and the following attempts to learn more. An unashamed masturbation-fest, first person and very detailed. It's rated explicit for a good reason!

The Poster Girl by stardust_made (67K, M, Gen) A seemingly straightforward case has Lestrade calling for Sherlock's help. Written from John's POV, this story takes place two months after the events in "The Great Game" and follows the investigation of the murder of Veronica Havisham: seventeen, popular—and murdered in Hainault Forrest on a Friday night in June.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (62K, E, Johnlock, Warstan) “I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”

The Pull of One Magnet to Another by ellie_hell (46K, M, Johnlock) Mummy has arranged Mycroft’s marriage with an ex-army doctor. However, John meets Sherlock first, and sparks fly.

The Top-Secret Livejournal of Sherlock Holmes by malacophilous (23K, M, Johnlock, Sarah/John, Sherstrade) Sherlock has a Livejournal, which he updates constantly via his mobile phone and netbook. Everyone offline thinks that he's this stoic super-genius, when in reality he's a bonkers super-genius.

There's A First Time For Everything by Kate_Lear (21K, E, Johnlock) A series of 'firsts' in Sherlock's life.

Those Left Behind by nickelsandcoats (33K, E, Johnlock) After the events of The Great Game, Sherlock is on the hunt for revenge as John waits for Sherlock to join him. But deception abounds as both men struggle to come to terms with the paths their lives have taken.

What Makes Us Rich by flawedamythyst (31K, E, Johnlock) Agreeing on a compromise is one thing, living with it is quite another.

Whirlwind by rubyofkukundu (19K, E, Johnlock) You may be familiar with the following fanon ideas: 1. Sherlock was very sexually active at university. 2. It was while John was a student that he discovered he was bisexual. I decided to put the two together :D

[secretcykophansideblog]

A little bit of art along with a fic I wrote <3

warning for uh, both of the boys feeling terrible (but not all the way through!!!)

First it was only just his little game but he soon got invested. From tying up simple bows to ‘prank’ Phantom, he tried more and more elaborate ways to make his bows. The crafting of such bows calmed him a whole lot when he’d have worse episodes of the marks his awful childhood left on him. But these bows, he always tried to get pink fabric as it reminded him of his bet he once made with Phantom. Oh, Phantom… All these pretty bows all against you, and from Cyko at that. Because of that, Phantom would dread falling asleep in places where Cyko could reach him. He tried to find more and more hidden places to use as his sleeping place but Cyko always managed to find him and tie some of his bows on him. It was like routine at this point, he hated it but… There was just something stupidly sweet about it as well. It was such an intimate thing too as he thought about it. Maybe it was just his mind messing with him but it sure made him feel closer to Cyko. Though the snickers he’d get from others when they witness him with the bows - especially in his hair - would quickly take away the sweetness it had about it. 

One night he decided to give up and he just fell asleep on the couch, sprawled out and everything. Literally in just the right position to be the victim of Cyko’s bow crimes. But Cyko had different plans this time.

Cyko looked at Phantom peacefully sleeping. He was a bit surprised, he thought Phantom would try the top of the attic or something crazy like that but no. Hey eyed Phantom very curiously.

“I know you’re not stupid…” Cyko talked to himself, trying to think what may have made Phantom be like that. He crouched down to watch him from a bit closer. 

“So peaceful... “ he smiled to himself, it was a rather tender smile. Phantom just got him like that, he would just unconsciously smile his brightest around Phantom. And he was aware of why it was. He knew it quickly, that he had caught feelings for Phantom but Phantom didn’t realize it, not even a bit. He would do small gestures, like being a little bit nicer to him and touch him in a friendly but such a gay way, he was unsure how Phantom didn’t manage to connect the dots. He would try to be more straightforward but the idea simply scares him. Phantom was such an important friend for him, ruining what they had because of his feelings... But each day these feelings get stronger and stronger, just like how his bows are getting better, also resulting in Phantom having a harder time picking them off. There’s just something about watching him trying to take them off that has him laughing but at the same time just…. He’s so adorable?? There’s a reason he likes to put them in his hair, seeing more of his face that he hides behind his dark purple hair. He noticed himself trailing off in his mind. He quietly chuckled to himself.

“Would you look at that… getting me like this even when you’re sleeping..” he pat Phantom’s head gently “Such power is so dangerous with someone like me around” he lowered his head, his gaze moving to the floor. He tried to push the thought out of his head.

“Maybe I can try something” he quickly shot his head up, with a somewhat determined face. He pulled out his bows from his pockets, there were a few with him. One pair in particular caught his eyes. These 2 bows were small and were basically identical. He almost forgot he brought those. What was he thinking when he made those? Looking at how they’re identical his mind quickly raced to a very interesting idea.

“We could match!” he cheered for himself a bit loudly. Phantom didn’t wake up, he only turned in his sleep a little, his left hand slipping out from under his head.

“Perfect!!!!” he whisper-shouted to himself, as he took hold of his left hand gently and started to carefully tie one of the small bows on Phantom’s ring finger. Though he could have been faster, feeling Phantom’s hand was phenomenal. Surprisingly,  his hand was very soft, he thought it would be a bit tougher as he puts a lot of effort in the way he swings his scythe. Maybe it’s because he would rather swing with his right hand… Cyko really likes the way Phantom swings it, majestic and effectful, like his music. Destroying all he possibly can in his way. What’s there to not love? He’d once again trailed off, he almost forgot he was tying the bow. He put the finishing touch to it, making sure it was there nice and neat. He held his hand for a few more moments, appreciating the sight. He couldn’t help but feel some otherworldly bliss about it, smiling widely. He slowly let go, greatly appreciating the last moments as their hands brushed against each other. Though it was done, his strong feelings didn’t disappear, he tapped his fingers together in his excitement, as some sort of way to come down from the happy high that caught him up in the sky, like how the strong wind would catch a leaf up in the air. It’s against the leaf’s intentions yet it still lies into the wind, as if embracing the ride for as long as it goes. He felt the same way. That’s when he remembered the other ribbon. He took it in his hand and looked at it for a while. Then carefully tied it on his left ring finger, to truly match Phantom. He put his hand beside Phantom’s to look at their hands in their matching glory. It was just a truly beautiful sight, making him giggle and tap his fingers against the sofa’s soft surface. 

“Gosh… this is so cheesy but I love it” Cyko giggled to himself, still trying to stay quiet because at this rate he’s gonna accidentally wake Phantom with his giggling and speaking. And then he’d have to face the consequences. He quietly hurried away, leaving as fast as he possibly can, his heart still racing over their matching bows.

After a while, Phantom woke up, surprised that now there weren’t bows all over him. He looked at his hands surprised to see one, but only one. None of Cyko’s bows were tied on him ever so neatly. He actually kinda liked how neat it looked. He’ll leave this one on, he liked the feeling of it. It was made of soft fabric, at least softer than usual. He touched it with his other hand, gently brushing his fingers on the bow. It made him smile for some reason. A lot of trouble was saved from him today, though he wasn’t too eager to know why Cyko went this easy on him, there was still a little voice inside his head, questioning it. But it wasn’t loud enough to really make him think about it. He went about his day relatively calmly all until creator Luni stopped him. 

“I couldn’t help but notice the dumb smile and the suspicious ring finger bow you have… They must have to do with each other, am I right or am I right?”

“Huh? I didn’t even think of it like that... Now that you say it, it is weird that it’s on my left ring finger… maybe…”

“Yes?” Luni had hope in her voice, that maybe he will realize that it’s a sign of love.

“I have a feeling it was what Cyko could reach the best!”

“Oh my god, Phantom- it’s literally like a wedding ring”

“What? That’s silly, this and a wedding ring are not even similar”

“But they’re… on the same finger?”

“That’s where we usually wear rings anyways”

“I- I’ll give up”

“Huh? What are you giving up?”

But Luni didn’t reply, she just walked away, once again disappointed that Phantom is a bit too dense to notice the signs of love that Cyko is trying to give. 

“Phanty!”

Phantom heard his very interesting nickname yelled by a very familiar voice.

“Phanny!! I can’t believe I didn’t see you all day” Cyko smiled widely, that same smile you would always see him have when he’s with Phantom.

“Pretty sure you did” Phantom smiled softly as he raised his left hand to show the bow that was still nicely tied on his ring finger. Cyko almost beamed so hard he rocketed into the sky. But luckily that didn’t happen. He just clapped his hands together in a very excited manner.

“You didn’t pull it off!!” he beamed, if his smile wasn’t bright before, it’s definitely bright now, even blinding with the amount of energy in it. 

“Well yeah. It didn’t bother me and it does look pretty nice” Phantom said kinda truthfully. Cyko seemed to beam less now, it’s like what he said calmed him down. 

“Oh uh, glad you like it then.”

“Also how come you didn’t go chaotic with it this time?” Phantom said, the thought he had about it before came back. How come he was so tame this time?

“I can still make up for it” Cyko took that as a challenge.

“Oh, hell no” 

“You asked for it” Cyko raised his hands while shrugging. That’s when Phantom noticed that Cyko had something pink on his left hand. 

“Wait- what’s on your left hand? 

Cyko moved his left hand to Phantom. He knew it may seem suspicious but it would be even more so if he hid it.

“You have the same bow” Phantom exclaimed then took Cyko hand in his own hands, to inspect the bow better. Which flustered Cyko but Phantom was luckily too distracted with staring at Cyko’s left hand. 

“Yeah… I- I thought it would be nice and all”

“How so?” Phantom looked up to Cyko’s face from his hand, though he was still holding it. Cyko tried to swallow all his embarrassment before speaking.

“Well- you’re really important to me...a very special friend… who I wouldn’t want replaced” Cyko slowly looked away, thinking what he said was really stupid. Now it was Phantom’s time to be flustered and maybe just a little bit blushy. 

“I didn’t know! You mean it?”

“Of course, Phanty!! You are like… best friend status at least” Cyko smiled, Phantom was feeling way too blessed from this. He held Cyko’s hand to his chest, as if to show how much that stupid little bow means to his heart. The way Phantom smiled had Cyko’s heart in twists of love, the feeling was so strong, and the way his hand was held felt timeless. With how lost he got in this blessed sight, he didn’t even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks. He really felt so much his body reacted to it. As soon as he noticed, he raised his right hand to his face to dry up his tears, still very confused as to why they were there. Though, maybe less confused and more flustered. Phantom noticed the movement from the corner of his eyes. He looked up a bit confused.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah! Just teared up for some reason”

“Well, that’s strange” Phantom laughed in response. He didn’t even question it? Cyko was a bit dumbfounded.

“It’s really not though”

“What?” Phantom tilted his head in confusion. Cyko took a breath in before speaking.

“You make me happy like that”

Phantom was trying to think of a way to react but he honestly didn’t know how. No proper words could explain how he felt. They were stuck like this, just sharing this gaze, which radiated off that very vibe… the strong feelings they were feeling. Phantom was feeling it very strongly too but couldn’t tell what it was. He felt like he was so close to figuring it out. Yet so far too. It was bothering him now much more than before. But he can’t ask Cyko, can he? He may take it the wrong way, as if he’s in love with him or something. Wait… Is he? Oh god, is he really? Is it really it? Is it really why he’s been feeling like this for such a long while? The reason for these feelings he couldn’t tie to anything up until now? With how shocked he was feeling, he let go of Cyko’s hand. Is it really why he felt this sort of awe about Cyko, especially the way he fought, even making interesting ways of using his blades? And the way he would treat him so sweetly and pull him up from a bad mood just with a smile? He stumbled back a little, which Cyko noticed. He looked concerned but Phantom was too distracted to really pay attention to that.

“Are you alright?” 

“I uhh…” He stumbled back even more, the realization hurting more and more. Sure he wanted to know why he felt the way he feels but this really isn’t the best time! It felt like his body did things on its own as he ran away, without another word, leaving Cyko sad and confused. All until he took it all in himself to go and talk to Phantom because this… This wasn’t quite like him at all. 

Phantom ran home, his heart still in pain from the kind of things he was feeling and thinking. Why did Cyko have to be so cute, why couldn’t he just make a mess of his hair with all his stupid bows and and and…. He felt like crying. They are just friends, and that should be fine. Like… they’re still pretty close so why is he feeling this way now? Though, thinking back, it did always bother him…  He just never realized why. The more he thought about it the more obvious it seemed to him. Wow, he was such a fool for not realizing sooner. He wondered… Did Cyko know before him? Eh, no, that’s stupid- but… But it would make sense? What if someone figured out and told Cyko and he did this to actually make fun of him? To make him think this really meant something and have him spill while laughing on the outside about how much he would’ve played Phantom… No. That’s so unlikely of Cyko… Sure, he can be pretty evil in his chaotic ways but he would never hurt him like that. Cyko does… care for him. At least he hopes. He’d never thought he’d doubt something like this but here we are. Suddenly he heard a knock on his front door. He didn’t reply, just eyed the door. He heard knocking again, this time a bit more desperate.

“Gh-Go away!!” Phantom yelled to him, his voice sounded so sad and upset. He didn’t even realize he was holding his tears back this much. It’s just a reflex he has, he’s not the type to cry after all… The knocking stopped which was… weird? Cyko doesn’t usually give up this easy. It’s not that he was playing hard to get right now, he just knew that it wasn’t very usual of Cyko. This really is strange… Phantom had a bad feeling this, which was burning him up from the inside. If the concerned tension he has created around himself could have a temperature, it would be burning his house down at this point. Maybe even the whole city… He unsurely started walking to the door. The closer he got the harder it was to take the next step. But he was really worried, no feelings of his was gonna stop him now when Cyko is not acting like himself. Soon enough, he found his hand on the door knob, his hand was slightly shaking. Does he really want to do this? Maybe he’s worried for nothing? Maybe Cyko gave up fast just this time for some reason? He’s even more nervous than before, slowly causing him to hesitate more and more- NO, he can’t- He can’t stall for longer, Cyko could be needing him and he’s just standing there helplessly. He finally hastily tries to open the door but it’s locked. Oh yeah, he forgot about that. He unlocked it then opened the door with less force now. To his surprise, he found Cyko sitting beside his door, cuddling his knees close to himself, with his head lowered on his legs. Phantom had seen this happen before, the fact that he had to see Cyko like this again tightened his chest uncomfortable, he was almost feeling sick. But it seemed like Cyko was even worse. He crouched down beside him, approaching him slowly. 

“...Cyko?” he asked in a rather soft voice, trying to stay calm. It’s for Cyko, you can do this! Cyko didn’t reply, but seemingly tightened his hold on his legs.

“Cyko… I’m… I’m sorry for what I did…” he scooted a little closer, gently placing a finger on Cyko’s back, then gradually put down his whole hand on his back, then slowly hugging him with one arm. He knew that Cyko must have been feeling a lot then. He felt Cyko lean into his hold a little, though he still didn’t look up. That’s fine, all he needs is patience. He could stay here forever just for Cyko to be fine. He could stay with him forever… He hugged Cyko a little closer, it seemed like he wasn’t resisting. That’s good.

“Cyko…” he bit his lip, unsure what to say next “I’m… sorry I treated you like that… I shouldn’t have done it”

Cyko didn’t reply verbally but with action instead. He moved closer and pushed his head into Phantom’s chest. Phantom wrapped his other arm around Cyko. He tried his best to comfort Cyko, rubbing his back. What threw him off a little is Cyko hugging him back. But it did feel really comforting… He feels like his thoughts before were just out of being scared of rejection and humiliation. Seeing how Cyko got, had assured him that there’s nothing like that going on. Except the idea of confessing or ever bringing up his feelings were thoughts that still reminded him inside his mind to keep him on the edge. He felt Cyko’s grip tighten around him, which he didn’t think much of all until Cyko pulled and picked him up by his waist. He was surprised because they usually talk before doing anything like this. Though with the circumstances… It did kinda fluster him a lot more than it usually would. Being picked up by him just has this effect on Phantom. And he also didn’t have the strength in him to stop or yell at Cyko. He brought Phantom back inside and sat down with him on his couch. Then leaned back on Phantom without letting go of him. 

“Cyko…?”

“Ph...Phantyy…” Cyko basically whimpered the last syllable of that sweet nickname. Phantom could tell that Cyko wasn’t quite there yet to speak. 

“It’s fine” Phantom smiled as he then moved to pet Cyko’s hair. His finger lightly running through his soft hair, Cyko felt that so much more than usual. He swore he noticed himself leaning into Phantom’s touch. Phantom noticed that and decided that maybe playing with Cyko’s hair with both of his hands would be the best activity for him to wind himself down as well. Was it just him or did sitting with Cyko get suddenly warmer? As if Cyko turned into a human heater. He had no idea what happened but he wasn’t about to complain, Cyko’s warmth was making him feel sickly sweet, he actually loved it a whole lot… Almost made him forget about what happened before. The power Cyko has.... Even without seeing that sweet smile, just his presence was enough to make him feel things. But the thoughts he was trying to repress weren’t going anywhere. He himself felt that his face was heating up from all of this. Like, he just discovered his crush on Cyko and now they’re cuddling?? Not like they didn’t before but that… that was different. Or was it? Phantom slowly started to question each little activity he has done with Cyko so far and they all have this gay feeling to them. The more moments he can feel Cyko’s soft hair and comforting body heat, the gayer these memories get. It’s just all those subtle things he didn’t think much of before. He doesn’t know how he was able to ignore these feelings for this long. They feel so strong now, so alive. He wants to share it with Cyko so badly. And like… maybe… Phantom felt himself heating up even more. Just the thought of kissing has his ears and cheeks so red, calming down was not very easy… or possible at that if I’m honest. He was lucky he had Cyko with his face buried in his chest or otherwise he’d have a hard time explaining himself. 

“Hey uh…” Though Cyko’s voice was a little muffled, Phantom could hear him well.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry for… freaking out”

“It’s alright… what matters is that you’re better now”

Cyko only hummed in response, if Phantom would’ve paid enough attention, he could’ve heard the flusteredness in Cyko’s voice but you know he didn’t. Or at least he didn’t know how to do it because he was that unaware. Y’know, like a fool. 

“But… But are you alright?”

“Yeah...why wouldn’t I be?” Phantom was obviously lying and Cyko is better than that, just to believe those false words.  

“You ran away from me… and you looked hurt” Cyko finally raised his head up, which prompted Phantom to look away. 

“It’s nothing all that serious, don’t worry” 

“Hard to believe with that face you make”

Phantom took a deep breath before replying.

“I’m not making any kind of faces”

“But you are?” Cyko tried to see Phantom’s face better to confirm. Though he was sure of Phantom not being alright, it didn’t hurt to make sure. But he was trying to do that with leaning closer, which raised questions in Phantom. All because he didn’t realize his intentions.

“I told you I’m not! And what are you doing?!?” 

‘“Whoa I’m-” Cyko quickly grew flustered and pushed himself away from Phantom. He didn’t mean it like that but he realized that it did look pretty bad for him. Phantom kept his face away from Cyko. 

“I uhhh…” Cyko tried to speak to make himself look better “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a little bit hard to tell how you feel when I can’t see your face”

“...” Phantom felt less tense now. Though he honestly wished Cyko did mean it… If he could just get a single kiss without the struggle and the idea that then Cyko would know how he felt. If he could just get a kiss to comfort himself a little from the pain he was feeling. A kiss so he would stop craving it so badly. Though he doubts that just one would make that stop. He would want more… and the opportunity to have a lot more. He just wants to be surrounded by Cyko’s love, have his love hide him from the world outside. The yearning was really making him feel things, huh?

Though Phantom wasn’t willing to speak, Cyko didn’t feel like leaving. His strong feelings were chaining him down, he just wanted to be around Phantom so badly, with Phantom also enjoying it. While the second part wasn’t really there, something pulled him back. 

“Phanny..? Are you ok?”

“I- I told you I am… I’m ok, no need to worry about me”

“But you’re… not happy either… I can’t….” Cyko stopped himself before he started rambling about how much he loves Phantom’s smiles. Or how he loves him in general.

“You can’t what?” Phantom turned back to Cyko, the curiosity got the best of him.

“Nevermind…” 

“Cyko…. don’t do this to me”

“I just- don’t wanna say, that is all. It’s… really not the time for me to do this..” Cyko got up but he was brought right back down by Phantom.

“I meant it. Don’t do this to me” Phantom sounded so serious, for some reason, he really wanted to know what Cyko wanted to say. And also desperately wanted him to stay.

“But-” 

“Please” his one word sounded more like a command than a plea, though it was still definitely filled with desperation. And the way he looked at Cyko…. He felt things from it.

“Well...when you’re happy you smile…. and I can’t see it right now, no matter how much I want to” Cyko confessed, it really did feel like a confession. Which he realized only after saying it, feeling like the last few words weren’t necessary for him to say.

“You like my smiles?”

“Yeah uhmm…” Cyko was trying to think of a way to say it without sounding too gay “You just kinda brighten my days with them” and he failed at not sounding gay. 

“I… I see, I’ll keep that in mind” yes, it was Phantom’s turn at failing at not sounding gay. Which Phantom realized right after those words slipped out through his lips.

“Like I’ll do that because uh… to uh…” Phantom slowly hid his face because he’s really not gonna make himself look any better at this rate. Cyko was simply speechless. The fact that Phantom replied like that… he looked like he was about to explode because of the overwhelming love inside him that he felt for Phantom. 

“Thanks” is that all he really can say? “That means a lot to me… like uh… you” the words couldn’t stop, no matter how much Cyko didn’t want to say them. “Ah, I’m an idiot” he facepalmed himself. That was when something hit Phantom

“Wait… why would you be an idiot?”

“Saying too much” Cyko didn’t even dare to look at Phantom, he was looking completely the other way.

“Well, the… the more things you say, the more obvious things become…”

“Like my feelings for you…” Cyko completely turned away “I guess I wasn’t the best at hiding them, was I…”

“That’s fine”

“Huh?”

“I...I had my time to figure it out as well” Phantom played with the bow on his ring finger, wearing a soft smile. 

“Wait wait wait wait….wait you…”

“I really like you, Cyko”

“I-” Cyko turned back to Phantom at this point. The sight of Phantom’s soft smile and his words gave him such a sudden boost of happiness. He couldn’t even say a thing, he was just that happy.

“I mean it… I don’t think anyone ever could make me happy like you”

Cyko placed his bow ringed hand on Phantom’s, which prompted Phantom to look up to Cyko. Cyko raised Phantom’s hand and gave it a soft kiss, Phantom blushed brightly, shocked. Though he wanted more, Cyko only gave him a teasy smile.

“That’s it?” Phantom made a pleading face at Cyko, which made him feel extremely blessed. With all this happiness fuel, he could blow up the Sun. Then Cyko took Phantom’s other hand and held each of them to his face, cupping it by his cheeks. Phantom didn’t wait for a word or any other move from Cyko, he kissed him. Cyko didn’t expect to see Phantom’s face so close so fast, he couldn’t even properly react to the kiss because Phantom kept it short. Even then he needed a few moments to properly comprehend the soft lips that came and left, just like that. 

“Hey, I didn’t even have time to react” Cyko pouted, though he wasn’t at all mad about it, no, in fact he may have been a little embarrassed that he didn’t manage to. 

“Maybe next time” Phantom laughed at him. That’s it, he has set off Cyko. Cyko pinned Phantom down, and before Phantom could even gasp, he kissed him. But Cyko didn’t go as easy as Phantom did before. He kept there for longer and didn’t stop at one. But Phantom welcomed it, with open arms which he wrapped around Cyko’s back. Then he showered Phantom with kisses, not only his lips, but cheeks, nose, neck and everywhere he had the chance to, treating him to the softest kisses he had ever had. The softness of these kisses made Phantom giggle, which was music to Cyko’s ears. It was such a unique experience, to hear Phantom laugh because of something like this. Cyko rose up from all the kissing, to face Phantom from a little bit of distance.

“You’re so adorable” Cyko was practically beaming. 

“You too’ Phantom looked away a little shyly. 

“It feels so nice to say it! I can finally give you even more nicknames”

“Like?”

“Phanty-cutie, Phanny-pie, Phanny-panny or maybe even… Phan-cakes…”

“Cyko, please don’t get this creative” Phantom was so close to laughing from Cyko’s ridiculous ideas. 

“Alright alright, Darkshine….or maybe Phan-ass” Cyko laughed to himself about his wonderful ideas.

“All of these are horrible. I love them”

 “You’re gonna have to be ready for nicknames like these if you’re gonna date me”

“I had a feeling”

“You wanna, right?”

“Oh absolutely. I never wanted anything so badly”

“Then it’s official, you’re my darkstar boyfriend now”

“I like that… makes me sound cool”

“You’re gonna be too cool”

“Impossible. I can’t simply be too cool”

“But you’d make me fall for you even moooore”

“Too bad” Phantom laughed. He got another kiss from Cyko as a response. 

“Should we tell the others?”

“Let’s chill and kiss for a while before doing that”

“Alright, I’m all up for that!”

And so they did, for who knows how long. Time can fly when you’re so in love.

[tonya-the-chicken]

I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol

TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing

Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently

I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)

Punishment basically serves two functions:

Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?

Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)

Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim

So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two

Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)

Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)

Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)

Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes

As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?

And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it

Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation

I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO

So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich

let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not

Endeavour

We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result,  blinded by his goal,   he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things

So 3 points to redeem someone

Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan

We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that

Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness

So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]

Overhaul

In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes

Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him

So let’s go for our 3 bullets again

Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah

Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work

Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon

So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu

But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know

All for One

Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well

Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are

Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?

Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines

AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him

Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows

I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye

Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed

[jaxsteamblog]

Let’s talk about fanfiction, wish fulfillment, and self inserts.

Specifically, I’d like to talk about my fanfiction.

This is a long post, so I’ll put it under the cut.

But TL;DR: If you take the advice and write what you know, you might end up with some Mary Sues, Self Inserts, and Wish Fulfillment. And That’s Okay.

I always forget that my entire life isn’t up for viewing to the general public. Weird, I know, but I have a problem with reality. Anyway, I want to explore something about my writing that might help out other writers. Especially ones who are just starting out.

I’ve been writing for a long time. Well, sorta. 

Growing up, I didn’t have the best home life. So, like most traumatized children from the suburbs, I retreated into books. I remember reading Pullman’s “His Dark Materials” trilogy and wishing I could find another world like Will. I started reading Poe at 11 and found a place where pain had meaning. The "Old Kingdom” series made me realize women could wield power.  Harry Potter came later, and suffering became a potential for something greater. 

But in high school, I found anime and cartoons. 

My friends were tearing through Gundam smut before I even knew what Sailor Moon was. But I was quickly brought up to speed. And I fell head over heels in love with Vampire Hunter D.

Oof, what gay, non-binary messed up white kid didn’t love VHD?

I really wanted to be a part of something magical and be someone that mattered. I wanted to be special and important.

And in 2004, at the tender age of 15, I started writing fanfiction. You can read the fics that survived the Great Cringe Purge here under my early pen name Nicolai Reh. How cringe is cringe? I took my first boyfriend’s last name.

And guess what? Natalie, Annia, and Spider are all MARY SUE SELF-INSERTS.

I can’t explain how badly I wanted to be loved. How I wanted to prove I could do something great. At that point in my life, everyone was telling me how worthless I was and there were already doubts that I would graduate high school. It was devastating. But I knew who I was on the inside! (At the time.) And guess what? I was amazing enough for someone like D to love!

I wasn’t on the internet much during this time and I’m thankful for that. The cringe shame didn’t soak into me until I was in my 20s and that was mostly the usual stage many 20 year-olds go through on their own. I wanted to be a Real Writer.

I started writing two “serious” novels that I hid and rewrote constantly over the next ten years. (From high school into my 20s.)

“Serenity” was about a woman who falls in love with a vampire, only to have him betray her after he slaughters her town and she spends years hunting him down. At one rewrite, she ends up being sent to the future by two of the vampire’s fledglings. Here you can see I was super into Anne Rice and Samurai Jack.

There was another story whose title is long gone. It’s about a woman who is given god-like powers to create a new world after she and her fiance are victims of a hate crime. But she ends up obsessing over it and by the time she goes back to the “real” world, her fiance thinks she’s dead and has moved on with his life, having a wife and child. This one was mostly to sate my horrific love of world-building. I created a really great world!

And yeah, self-insert Mary Sues with CLEAR wish fulfillment. Both women are pursued by a character that is thematically the same and I even gave him the same name. 

The chemistry never worked out, and it wouldn’t be until I was in my late 20s that I figured out why. The woman protag was my self-insert, to a point. The male was my closeted gender identity that I was desperately seeking but also denying.

Point? Writing taps into our psyche. Professional writers, I’m assuming, are able to use their craft to create stories that can be separated from them. But I will bet money their early works are about them working through their own internal mess. 

When I finally started to get back into writing, it was after I had my child. I was 21, homeless, and just started to go to college. I wrote a novel in 2010 that I attempted to publish online in 2017 but, it’s personal.

You can see some of my original work under another early pen name: Lizaveta Demarkus

It includes the first two chapters of “Lucid.”

Having a kid, going to school, and then getting into the most emotionally devastating romantic relationship of my life destroyed my ability to write. I tried to do NaNoWriMo, but it never really worked out.

Then I met my friend, who we’ll call Smol Fury because that’s her nickname.

We love Avatar: The Last Airbender and we would talk shit all the time about it. We both shipped Zutara, but most of our conversations were about plot holes and the disaster that was Korra. 

There I am, heartbroken, living with my parents, newly diagnosed with a series of mental illnesses. I was alone and I was lonely. I was struggling with coming out as non-binary and transmasc.

I remembered my old writing and I flipped through the binder with pages printed out almost twenty years ago. 

I had lost a lot of joy. A lot. I couldn’t write a novel in this stage. I couldn’t think critically enough to think about inciting incidents and mapping out plot points. Foreshadowing, world-building, show don’t tell, said versus shouted; there were a million arguments to be had in creative writing. 

So I wrote about Zuko loving Katara. I gave Zuko the personality from that one male character from my youth and I made him once again have to pursue a broken woman who couldn’t face the truth. I didn’t have to worry about world-building because it was already done. I could just focus on the emotions.

To anyone just starting out, please don’t take the trite criticisms to heart. My main series, the one that keeps me up at night because I ache over it, it’s not that great. It’s not that popular. But I love it because I’m finally, FINALLY getting the words out. I’m finally working through the pain I tried to articulate in 2004. 

If you write because it’s a story you want to read but can’t find, do it. 

If you write because you want someone like Zuko to love you, you have the right to fall in love.

If you write because you want someone like Katara to love you, get in line.

If you want to be the most OP, broken, Mary Sue, multi-bender who rivals all the Avatars combined, go for it!

You are not the only one who wants a story like that. Every story, after all, shows us that we’re not alone. 

I’m not Pullman or Nix or R*wling (thank christ) or Poe but I am a regular person that goes through similar things as a bunch of other people. I write what I know and what I want.

Don’t let anyone stop you from doing the same. 

Please keep writing.

[jmsa1287]

A Year in Review: The 31 Best Episodes of TV of 2019

There's never been more TV than this year. Thanks to the launch of new streaming services like Apple TV+ and Disney+ (with more to come in 2020!), there is an infinite number of hours of content out there. And while not all those TV shows are worth a watch, mot seasons of shows genuinely contain at least one great-to-amazing episode. The 31 episodes listed below are the ones that stood out the most; that either became part of the cultural conversation or were not well-watched but still resonated in a way that deserved more attention. Whether it was the writing, the acting, a visual moment or a hilarious scene, these selected episodes rose above the cut to show what TV can do in this unprecedented era.

31. “Striking Vipers,” Black Mirror Season 5, Netflix 

30. “Smell Ya Later,” Killing Eve Season 2, BBC America

29. “Chase Gets the Gays,” The Other Two Season 1, Comedy Central

28. “Refugees,” Ramy Season 1, Hulu

27. “Finish It,” The Deuce Season 3, HBO

26. “Chapter 7: The Reckoning,” The Mandalorian Season 1, Disney+ 

25. “Life’s a Beach,” Pose Season 2, FX

24. “Easter,” Better Things Season 3, FX

23. “Chapter 8: Overview,” The OA Season 2, Netflix

22. “Reborn,” Servant Season 1, Apple TV+

21. “Stories,” Broad City Season 5, Comedy Central

20. “Blondie,” High Maintenance Season 3, HBO

19. “The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed,” Euphoria Season 1, HBO

18. “The Bad Mother,” Big Little Lies Season 2, HBO

17. “405 Method Not Allowed,” Mr. Robot Season 4, USA

16. “1:23:45,” Chernobyl Season 1 HBO

15. “Dundee,” Succession Season 2, HBO

14. “Episode 9,” Mindhunter Season 2, Netflix

13. “401 Unauthorized,” Mr. Robot Season 4, USA 

12. “Take Me as I Am, Whoever I Am,” Modern Love Season 1, Amazon

11. “Part Four,” When They See Us Season 1, Netflix

Ava DuVernay's achingly painful "When They See Us" miniseries about the persecution of the Central Park 5 is capped off with its brilliant final episode; a showcase for Jharrel Jerome ("Moonlight") who undergoes a transformation here unlike any other actor on TV this year. Playing Korey Wise, we see Jerome go from happy-go-lucky New Yorker to a victim of the vicious prison system who is beholden to his truth despite its consequences. It is a harrowing 88 minutes of TV that is both devastating and beautiful, carried on the shoulders of Jerome's unparalleled performance.

10. “A God Walks Into a Bar,” Watchmen Season 1, HBO

The penultimate episode of "Watchmen," the buzziest show of the fall, is the most Damon Lindelof has been during this stellar season of TV. "A God Walks into a Bar" is a revealing episode in the same way as the last season of "The Leftovers," Lindelof's previous project. The episode reveals that for all of its surrealness and commentary about race and gender in our world, the "remix" of the popular comic book series is, at its core, a love story. Lindelof sets the episode as a classic cosmic joke but as it goes on, it exposes itself to be full of heart and emotion; about two people from different parts of the universe (and different parts of the space-time continuum?) connecting. At a bar. Over beer, conversation, and eggs.

09. “Strawberries,” Ramy Season 1, Hulu

Unlike anything depicted on TV, "Strawberries," the peak of Hulu's comedy "Ramy," created by standup Ramy Youssef, is told in flashback, tracking a young Ramy in the days leading up to and after 9/11. Seeing the event play out from the perspective of a young Muslim child in middle school is heartbreaking and raw; a highlight that is thoughtful, meditative, funny and surprising.

08. "Shook One Pt. II,” Euphoria Season 1, HBO

It's not until "Shook One Pt. II" that "Euphoria" finally clicks and finds its groove. Playing out at a carnival, the episode raises the dramatic stakes for the show's young cast, where creator Sam Levinson's bold aesthetic choices complement the intense tension on display. Part thriller, part romance and all edge, this episode of "Euphoria" features stellar performances from Zendaya, Hunter Schafer, Jacob Elordi and more.

07. “Volume 7: The Magician" + "Volume 8: The Hanged Man,” Too Old to Die Young Season 1 Amazon

It was hard to pick just one episode of Nicolas Winding Refn's twisted noir cop saga "Too Old to Die Young." The controversial auteur made a perfect thing for streaming age; somewhere between a film and a series. NWR said himself that you can watch the episodes out of order, or start from anywhere, which is sort of true. But it's the back-to-back episodes towards the back half of the series, "Volume 7: The Magician" and "Volume 8: The Hanged Man," that stand out the most; a chaotic and insane set of events that turn "TOTDY" on its head.

06. “Posh,” PEN15 Season 1, Hulu

"PEN15" is hands down the funniest show of 2019 but it's the Hulu series episode "Posh" — a thoughtful and insightful examination of racism in the 00s — that is the show's highlight. In the episode, BFFs Maya (Maya Erskine) and Anna (Anna Konkle) make their own version of the Spice Girls with a group of mean girls at their middle school for a class project. They force Maya, who is Japanese-American, to play Scary Spice — the only woman of color in the insanely popular British girl group, because Maya is the only girl of color among them. It sparks a deep divide between Maya and Anna that is explored in the short episode with maximum effect.

05. “DC,” Succession Season 2, HBO

Over the last few years, Americans have made Congressional hearings they're own sort of perverse reality show. So, it's no surprise that "Succession" would go there and put members of the Roy family on display and under scrutiny. The main targets here are Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) and Cousin Greg (Nicholas Braun), who have to answer a number of questions about Waystar Royco's handling of alleged sexual assaults and crimes involving the company's cruise line. "Succession" had been building up to this moment since early Season 1 and the payoff is both cringe-worthy and hilarious.

04. “The Great War and Modern Memory,” True Detective Season 3 HBO

Filmmaker Jeremy Saulnier's ("Green Room," "Hold the Dark") crack at a TV show is nothing short of spectacular. With "The Great War and Modern Memory," he establishes an unsettling mood and tone to the third installment of "True Detective," a somber story about two cops investigating the disappearance of two young children over the span of several decades. The episode is poetic and solemn, featuring two mind-blowing performances from its stars Mahershala Ali and a career-best Stephen Dorff. They're both in tune with what kind of show they're in, selling creator Nic Pizzolatto's writing, which coming out of the mouths of other performers would likely sound dreadful.

03. “Episode 1,” Fleabag Season 2, Amazon

Filming a dinner scene is not as easy as it looks. For the first episode of the second season of the outstanding "Fleabag" both writer/creator/star Phoebe Waller-Bridge and director Harry Bradbeer hit out of the park. It's a whirlwind of an episode where PWB's Fleabag character literally tells the audience Season 2 is a love story, which, of course, involves the so-called Hot Priest (Andrew Scott). "Episode 1" is fast, zippy, and manages to get most of the show's cast in one room, featuring wonderful performances from not only PWB and Scott but also Olivia Coleman, Sian Clifford and Brett Gelman. It's a chaotic half-hour of TV that has a kinetic energy unlike anything else this year, taking an awkward family dinner to its limits.

02. "Series Finale Part 2: Hello, Elliot,” Mr. Robot Season 4, USA

The series finale of “Mr. Robot” is as emotional as it is shocking. Sam Esmail sticks the landing with his hacking drama, turning a story about a vigilante and his crew trying to right the wrong world into a personal journey of a young man struggling with deep trauma. It’s a beautiful sendoff, that is fully satisfying and a magnificent accomplishment of modern television.

01. “Never Knew a Love Like this Before,” Pose Season 2, FX

"Pose" proved itself to be an uplifting and hopeful show, uprooting cliched and tragic stories about trans people we've come to see on screen and instead, opts to show us something beautiful. But its "Never Knew a Love Like This Before" that is 2019's best episode of the year — a heart-wrenching and unexpected boom and a reminder that trans people, especially trans women of color, are often in danger. Here, Candy (an out-of-this-world performance from Angelica Ross), who orbited around the main cast in the series, is murdered. She returns to her funeral in spirit, having in-depth conversations with her friends, enemies and frenemies. Pray Tell (Billy Porter) honors her by moving forward with her wish — a lip-synch category for the balls that he previously rejected. It's a beautiful story about the history of queer culture that's personalized in an unexpected way.

[wutbju]

This thread. You have to read it! It starts with this question:

Not being from this area, my coworkers commonly make references to our new manager and refer to her behavior as being based on her being from BJU. I asked, "Is this school anything like Brigham Young?" And my friend said, "worse."

So what's up with the stigma? What all has happened there/have they done? Never heard of it until I moved up here, unlike BYU.

And then Greenvillians explain BJU:

Bob Jones is known for being an extremely traditional (some say excessively literal) Christian University. It makes North Greenville University look like a bunch of heathens doing keg stands. I understand and respect trying to adhere to principles, but sometimes things are excessively wooden. You will find alum who are religious and conservative who think BJU goes too far.

BJU is a very religious christian school. Gay people can't attend, women have a particular uniform, and there's a prayer list. If you don't know, a prayer list isn't a list of people who need genuine love and support, but a list of the sinners in the school. So number one on the prayer list is the kid the school thinks is morally the worst. They have curfews, and so many traditional ideals you don't typically see at a college. I knew a guy who transferred from BJU to my college, and he was gay. That school traumatized him. Don't trust BJU.

Bob Jones students are usually extremely conservative fundamentalist Christians. The school is barely accredited and looks like something out of a horror cult film. I went through the student rule book once for kicks and some of the rules I found were:

No going to Movie Theaters

Lights out by 1AM

No music except for traditional hymns

Drinking is an expellable offense

Men and Women cannot be together unchaperoned

Mandatory Church Five Days a week (plus the requirement to attend a church off of an approved list)

And on and on and on...

If you want an example of how shitty BJU is, this past fall a female BJU student was allegedly raped by a Furman football player at a party on Furman’s campus. The girl was expelled from school despite the fact she was a victim of a horrendous crime

Here’s a link to the handbook if you’re interested in some of their crazy shit

Edit: I forgot to mention that the school didn’t allow interracial dating until 2000 (so much for God loving all the children no matter the color!)

I went there. There’s so much more going on there that while what’s been said so far is mostly all true, it gets way way worse. I’m talking administration logging into students Facebook profiles and reading private messages, looking for dirt. I’m talking them getting investigated for sexual abuse incidents, and the administration firing them right at the end.

I could tell you all so. Many. Stories. But truth be told I hate thinking about them and would rather you all just do what I now do - drive by and mutter, what a bizarre place.

One thing I will ask though is don’t judge the students and the graduates by the school. Many are there because their parents strong-armed them into it. Many are there because they just didn’t know better and now their credits don’t transfer. Most are all trying to make the best of a bad situation and when the society around them blacklists them because they went there, it’s just making their lives that much harder and suckier. Treat them with kindness respect and dignity - that is a welcome change from their lives at BJU.

I just graduated in may. last month my family disowned me for leaving the cult. It's straight up hell. Looking back I wish I would've picked working fast food or absolutely anything else instead of letting my parents pressure me into going to BJU. But what choice in coming did I or any of the rest of the student body have? When you're raised in a fundie cult and your parents have absolute control over your life you go where they say and you're blind enough to think it's a good idea. I'm lucky that I made non religious friends off campus they helped me to think for myself. I'm still a Christian but I'm out of the extremist cult I was raised in. So what's up with bju? Members of the music faculty sexually assault female students with regularity. No one cares. A guy and a girl hold hands and they can be expelled. The president and the other top tier people running the joint all make fat stacks of cash (enough to own mortgage free million dollar+ homes on Paris mountain) while most of the faculty and staff get minimum wage because "it's a ministry". There are truly Pharisetical levels of hypocrisy. Jim Berg, who pressured a young man to kill himself and covered up the infamous grace report assaults, was invited back last year to speak in chapel on mental health. Look, I could go on for hours on all the things they do over at that awful awful place. If you want to read the crazy handbook here's a link to download.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.bju.edu/life-faith/student-handbook.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiDxpvR3K3qAhVBmeAKHT8-C0sQFjAAegQIBRAC&usg=AOvVaw1yHWo6HSPZLbOg5_mxOUGY

Beyond the rule book there's any number of expectations they can inflict on you. The punishment for dissent has recently been changed to $25 dollar fines with the very occasional expulsion (why expel cash cows right?) It's just a bad place and going there can cause serious trauma and psychological abuse.

One last thing, never ever trust a man from Bob Jones. They practically manufactuere abusers I know it's not true for all of them but better safe than raped or whatever else. The women are mostly just misguided and have been brainwashed to be judgy bitches. They won't actually hurt you tho.

And much, much more.