#be easier to read since they’re not as long exactly?? Still long and in same length but spaced out more so it doesn’t look

[mountttmase]

What I Need

Note - the longest fic I’ve ever written 😭 I’ve added a little ‘break’ halfway through so if you did want to stop and come back to read the rest later it’s easier to see where you’ve left off but if you want to read it all in one go feel free 🩷 thank you @carlottawllms for the initial request and I’m sorry it took so long to get to 😭 and thank you to all my besties for your help with this, I couldn’t do it without you 🩷 I know it’s long but feedback would be appreciated immensely and I promise to never write a fic this long again 😌

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 20.5k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Just once you thought you might be treated to a well deserved lie in this Saturday but unfortunately the universe had other plans for you, just like always.

Your phone had been vibrating for a few minutes on the nightstand and you knew it was someone trying to call you before a barrage of texts were sent your way. Letting them fly in before you picked your phone up to see who it was and what they wanted even though you knew exactly who it was and why they were pestering you at this ungodly hour.

You already make it feel like it’s not worth living you thought, but before you could think about anything else his photo flashed up on your screen as he tried to call you again and you begrudgingly hit accept before you were permanently etched into his bad books.

‘Hello?’

‘About bloody time y/n, what the hell have you been doing?’ He scolded you. His voice hushed but you could tell he wanted to shout at you for not picking up and you rolled your eyes at his stupid attitude that you didn’t need this time of the morning.

‘Sleeping, Mason. You know what probably most of the uk population is doing right now since it’s stupid o’clock on a bloody Saturday’

‘Well I don’t give a shit, I need you. How fast do you think you can get here?’

‘I don’t know, Mase-‘ you started, not ready to leave the comfort of your bed just yet but he was cutting you off as soon as he realised what you were about to say.

‘No, y/n don’t do this. Did you not see my message? Code red yeah, that means I need you here now’

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad, you big girls blouse’

‘She’s offering to make me breakfast. Pancakes if you please’ he told you, his voice an octave higher as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying to you and you had to hold in a giggle at how ridiculous he sounded.

‘You love pancakes’

‘No I love your pancakes, there's a difference. I don’t know what she puts in hers she could drug me for all I know. Or make the whole wheat ones like a maniac’

‘I mean it’s hard to fuck up pancakes im sure they’re-‘

‘Can we forget about the bloody pancakes, how long till you’re here?’ He demanded, but you were already up and pulling a hoodie on before stuffing yourself into your shoes.

‘I’ll be five minutes’ you sighed, grabbing your keys and walking out the door as Mason repeatedly told you to hurry up until you had to hang up as you began to drive.

How it became the routine of you bailing him out of these situations was a long story.

Mason had been your best friend since you were little. Your dad being one of his first football coaches and even though you went to separate primary schools you still saw him most weekends when you helped out and sometimes joined in with the games. Mason teaching you how to kick the ball properly and you knew when you scored your first goal he let you win.

You eventually stopped going to practice, not seeing Mason at all for a year or so until you both wound up going to the same secondary school and it’s like you picked up where you left off.

You watched each other grow from awkward little teenagers to full grown adults and as much as you tried to keep your friendship the same you knew it would never be normal.

You went the usual route; college, uni, big office job in a fancy company while Mason lived his dreams and changed right before your eyes. Subtle changes that came over time meaning you never really caught onto them but the shy polite boy you once knew was gone.

He was cocky and sure of himself. Cheeky in a way that all the girls loved and he used it to his advantage to get exactly what he wanted. You weren’t blind, you know he was handsome but the way he threw his money and looks about just to get into some poor girls knickers made you sick sometimes but you stuck by him through it all. Feeling like you were the only person who had his best interest at heart most of the time.

Mason didn’t have friends, he had yes men. People to tell him he looked good and that it didn’t matter what he did or what he said to people because they’d clear it up for him afterwards. Leaving his picture perfect image intact so the world still thought he was a good boy even though he was anything but.

You didn’t know when, but you too had fallen into that category. Running around after him like he was a toddler that had just learned to walk, trying to protect him from crashing into things he shouldn’t be and picking up all of his mess after him for little to no thanks. You didn’t even know why you did it at this point. A sense of loyalty maybe? Or wanting to keep him away from certain people that you knew only used him. You knew he was a grown man at the end of the day and he was old enough to look after himself but still you carried on.

Even the routine of helping him kick girls out of his house was a mystery to you. The first time was a mistake when you’d turned up heartbroken on his doorstep after a failed exam and the girl he’d managed to score that night made a swift exit much to his satisfaction. Telling you he’d been trying to get rid of her for an hour but she wouldn’t budge and you were the perfect solution.

When he called you up and asked if you could do something similar for him the next week you refused at first. Thinking it was weird and you were worried about the girls feelings but he wore you down like he always did until the next thing you knew you were fake crying on his door mat as he ushered a pretty blonde girl out the door with the fake promise of calling her back later that day.

You must have helped him throw at least 30 girls out now. A catalogue of excuses at your disposal and even though you knew it was weird, it had merged itself in as just another part of your friendship and soon enough you were pulling onto his drive and housing yourself out of your car.

You rang the doorbell to make it look more realistic, the door opening a few moments later to Mason who looked more than relieved to see you and you quickly made your way inside to start the act.

‘What do you want? Dead relative, dog or something worse?’ You asked him, pinching your cheeks so they looked pinker before squirming yourself in the eyes with your water bottle. You’d tried and tested the lot but the sports cap you found was the best at making it look like actual tears.

‘Dogs fine, she’s been yapping on about hers all morning and showing me pictures so-‘

‘You’re so cruel, Mason’ you remarked, hoping to make him feel a little bit bad about what he was doing but you knew it was all in vain. He never did.

‘Just start crying before I make you, yeah?’ He laughed so you took the opportunity to get him back and wailed out the loudest fake cry you could muster right in his ear. The sound making him jump before he bounded you into his arms so you could cry into his neck and before you knew it, the sound of a very concerned but sweet sounding woman could be heard in the hallway.

‘Mason? Is everything okay?’

‘No really no’ he told her, the fake worry in his voice making you roll your eyes but you carried on sniffling to help him out. ‘This is my best friend and she’s had some awful news this morning’ he told her, walking you towards the living room so he could sit you on the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry to do this, her dogs just died and she needs me’

‘Oh my god’

‘Yeah she’s really not in a good way’ he confirmed, pulling you in closer and your cries went up in volume and you felt him pinch your side gently as if to tell you to tone it down.

‘Well can I help at all?’ She offered and you actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed too sweet and you wondered how Mason had got his grubby little claws into her but you’d seen him on nights out and knew how he trapped women under his spell. You were just thankful that you were immune to his powers as if someone treated you like this you’d swing for them.

‘I think it’s best I just stay with her for now, but I’ll text you yeah? I’ve got your number saved?’

‘Oh, yeah okay then’ she uttered before the pair of them fled upstairs to get her things and within a few minutes he was with her at the door. Hearing the talk in hushed tones before he shut the door behind her but you let your cries continue.

‘Alright you can stop that now, sound makes my brain ache’ he groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa next to you and you laughed as you unhid your face from the cushion.

‘You’re welcome, by the way’ you told him. Bumping your shoulder into his as you sat up but he just rolled his eyes. You knew he was thankful even if he didn’t say it exactly but it would be nice to hear it sometime.

‘You fancy some breakfast? I’m in the mood for pancakes’ he winked but you just rolled your eyes at him. Pancakes sounded good to you too but you knew you’d be stuck making them.

‘Where’s Ace? He’s the only reason I’m here’ you asked, deflecting his question as you knew what he was asking and by the look he was giving you he wasn’t too happy about it.

‘Charming’ he scoffed before whistling and the sound of bounding paws made you smile until Ace was running in and jumping into your lap.

‘Hi baby’ you cooed, scratching over his head and trying to avoid the face licks he was sending your way but Mason was just looking at you like he was waiting for something.

‘So… what’s happening with the pancakes?’

‘Ace, your daddy is a very silly man, did you know that?’ You babbled but you could tell Mason was offended with what you’d said.

‘Don’t turn my son against me’

‘Do you want some pancakes, acey? Mumma will make you some’ you babbled too him, knowing there was no way for him to answer but from the look on his face you could that’s what he wanted.

‘Since when are you his mum’ Mason commented, trying to reach over to pet him but you wouldn’t let him. Jumping up so Ace could follow you and he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Since I’m one of the only stable females in his life, okay? Don’t confuse him now’

You left Mason in the living room so you could make some pancakes. Your own belly rubbing as you hadn’t had a chance to think about breakfast this morning but thankfully he had everything in and as soon as he smelt them you heard him walking in to grab some.

‘Why are you making little ones?’ He questioned, grabbing some juice from the fridge and a couple of glasses.

‘They’re for ace’ you shrugged. Plating them up in his little doggy bowl and letting him tuck in before sorting yours and Masons out.

‘So he gets preferential treatment’

‘Do you ever have a day off?’ You muttered, wanting him to just give things a rest for five minutes but you could tell by his laugh he wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon.

‘Shut up, you love me’ he teased, poking you in the sides as he grabbed his plate and the feel of it angered you. He knew you hated being poked and prodded but he just carried on as he loved getting under your skin.

‘Not when you’re like this I don’t’ you sighed and even though you were half joking you had realised over the last few times you’d hung out that being around him was a chore sometimes. His usual playful comments had more venum behind them and now you couldn’t actually work out if he still liked you or not. Being around him never felt as good as it used to but whenever you got upset about it he’d tell you he was playing so you tried to think nothing more of it. Wondering if you were just hormonal or had forgotten how to take a joke.

Halfway through breakfast your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. His eyes looking at you pleadingly as if he wanted you to go and get it but you remained firm and stared back at him.

‘Please, y/n. If it’s her she’ll have me talking for another half an hour. Just make her go away please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, getting up and storming to the door and you knew he was smiling from where he sat behind you. ‘I’m not doing the washing up though’

‘Hey, you make the mess you tidy it away’

‘Oh get lost’ you muttered under your breath, opening the door to what you expected to me the girl from earlier but thankfully it was just an Amazon delivery guy and you took the parcel with a smile before bidding him goodbye. ‘Mase? Its just an Amazon parcel you’re safe’

‘Ah amazing, can you open it for me? Should be just a charging cable’ he nodded as he stacked your plates and took them to the dishwasher, leaving you on your own to tear the box open but once you were in you wanted to vanish into thin air.

What you weren’t expecting was the red box that was sitting under the packing paper. The words thin feel jumping out at you first and you groaned loudly as he walked back over to you with a confused expression.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re gross, I swear to god. Why did you make me open this?’ You huffed as you threw the box of condoms his way and he caught it with one hand before looking down with a smile.

‘Ah i forgot about these, got the ribbed ones this time to see if they make a difference’ he winked but you just made fake gagging noises as you walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where he followed you in shortly after. Thankfully hiding the box out of sight from you.

‘What you doing next Friday? It’s Woody’s birthday so we’re going out and he asked me to ask if you wanna come’ he suddenly piped up with as you turned the tv on and the question took you by surprise.

‘Why didn’t he ask me himself?’

‘Cause he thinks you’re scary’ he winked ‘I’m kidding, he was pretty out of it last night when we made plans and he knew I’d probably see this morning’

‘So now it’s just standard that I kick the girls out your house for you? And all your friends know about it’

‘Pretty much. I’ve given you excellent reviews so if you get calls for similar from the others you can thank me later’ he teased but you weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore. Huffing as you relaxed back into the sofa but he was soon poking your leg with his finger. ‘You coming next week or what? We’ve got a section booked so there won’t hundreds of people and you don’t know I’ll pay for you’

‘I’m not worried about paying, Mase’ you told him even though in the back of your mind you were a little bit. Mason like to go to the most expensive places and drink the most expensive things and you couldnt keep up with him half the time so the offer of him playing always settled your nerves when it was nights out like this. ‘Can I bring Olivia?’

‘Who’s Olivia?’

‘That new girl from work I was telling you about the other day? The one that’s just moved here and doesn't know anyone’ you told him before realising he probably hadn’t been listening the whole time you were talking about her before.

‘Is she hot?’

‘Mason-‘

‘Im kidding, I’m kidding, You can bring the pope for all I care’ he shrugged but you knew even if you asked him not to go near her he still would.

‘Mason I'm serious, I don’t want you anywhere near her okay? you’ll make things awkward at work and she wouldn’t touch you with with a barge pole anyway’

‘Wow y/n, I’m bruised’ he told you, hand on his heart to make it look like he was hurt but you could tell from the tone of his voice he didn’t care.

‘She’s got something going on with someone at work and if you ruin it I’ll kill you’ you threatened but he just held his hands up in mock surrender. ‘Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usual’ he told you. Reeling off some names you knew plus a few guys you don’t know and you knew what that meant. Mason wanted to try and set you up with someone he knew and even though you appreciate the sentiment you couldn’t think of anything worse.

At this point you thought he just felt sorry for you and was trying his hardest to find you anyone. You’d never had a boyfriend, never been in a real relationship or even been on that many dates. Any you did happen to go on always ended in the same way with that same awful message. I see you more as a friend than a girlfriend but I’d love to stay in touch and you didn’t know what was wrong with you. Even though Mason sometimes tried to help, you didn’t want to attract boys like him and his friends so any new boy he was suggesting you almost always never gave a proper chance.

‘I was thinking maybe I could put some feelers out? You know put a good word in with a few of the lads and see if any are interested-‘

‘I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than date one of your friends’ you told him, looking up to his horrified face and just like usual you kept poking the bear. ‘I only hang out with you cause you’re practically my brother, but the ones that choose to be your friends? I have serious questions for them’

‘And yet here you are, spending your morning with me. The main culprit’

‘Not for much longer, I’m meeting the guys at level up for lunch’ you smiled and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at you.

‘So you used me for my flour and eggs, that’s what I’m getting from this’

‘I wouldn’t even be here if you could just keep it in your pants for five seconds’ you reminded him, giving Ace a quick scratch between the ears before you stood up so you could get going but Mason being Mason had to get a few more digs in.

‘Oh whatever you big dork. Go play with your silly little puzzles then while I fend for myself’

Level Up was a gaming cafe in town and you met up with some friends from uni once a month to catch up and play some games but you mostly went there for the puzzles. There was something you loved about starting with a big pile of nothing and ending with something beautiful. It calmed you but almost made your brain feel alive at the same time so it was worth the teasing from Mason's end even if he did think it made you really uncool.

‘Whatever, Mase’ you mumbled, gathering your stuff up and making your way to the door before he could say anything else to upset you but you already felt like he’d ruined your day.

You managed to forget about him by the time you’d made it to Level Up. Catching up with your friends from uni, forgetting all that had happened that morning and getting lost in what you loved before making your way back home in the early afternoon. Feeling a lot better about yourself than you had that morning.

Your week at work flew by and soon enough it was Friday and you were at your flat with Olivia getting ready for your night out. Thankfully she’s said yes to coming and it had given you something to bond over that week. She too had moved to Manchester from down south after uni and was finding the transition a bit strange so you’d taken her under your wing in hopes you could make some more friends around here besides Mason. As much as you loved him you couldn’t stand to be around him for long periods of time anymore and wanted someone else to hang out with who didn’t make you feel so awful about yourself.

Once the pair of you were ready you set out for a cocktail bar first. Getting a few fancy pre drinks in whilst you chatted over some office gossip and just as you were leaving you posted a few stories to instagram. Seeing straight away that Mason had viewed them and almost as if by magic he was calling you.

‘Is that really what you’re wearing?’ He asked, the question making your heart drop as you looked down at your out outfit. Admittedly it was your usual but you wanted to be a bit comfortable and it was an outfit you’d always felt good in. His comments deflating you immediately and you felt like turning around and going home.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ You asked in a small voice. Wrapping your jacket around you a little bit further and Olivia looked at you with curious eyes but you just gave her a reassuring smile and carried on listening to Mason.

‘I mean it’s fine but like… well that’s it. It’s fine’ he admitted causing you to gulp back the frog in your throat so you didn’t burst into tears. ‘Look I’m trying my hardest here to help you get some but you need to start showing a bit of skin. Like if I’m interested in a girl I wanna see a bit more yeah? You need to advertise what you’ve got on offer or you’ll never get any business.’

‘I’m not looking for business and I certainly don’t want to look like someone you’re interested in’ you hit back, trying to make him hurt a little bit but you knew it was useless. Your comments were like water off a ducks back to him. ‘When I find the right guy he’ll love how I dress’

‘I’m a guy, y/n. We’re all the same’

‘Yeah well I’ve just about had enough of you tonight. I think I’d rather join a nunnery at this point’ you huffed, feeling Olivia tug on your arm as you made it to the door of the club. ‘Were just outside I’ll see you in a sec’

‘Your names on the door, they should just let you through’ he confirmed and once you’d said goodbye you were let in by the doorman who led you over to your section. meeting Mason's eyes almost immediately but his were soon on Olivia and you knew it was about to be a long night. ‘You gonna introduce me then?’

‘Hi to you too’ you quipped, watching him roll his eyes as he pulled you into his side for a quick hug but it was over before you knew it as his eyes settled on Olivia’s legs. ‘Mason this is Olivia, Olivia this is Mason’

‘Hi Olivia, y/n’s told me a lot about you’ he smiled and you knew that smile anywhere. He was about to flirt his little bum off even after you’d told him not too. ‘It's nice to finally meet you’

‘You too, thanks for letting me come’ she smiled sweetly, trying to be polite but you’d already warned her about Mason and his antics and you were hoping she could see right through him.

‘Oh you’re invited anytime’ he winked. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Oh um… yeah sure, y/n-‘

‘’It’s alright I know her order off by heart’ he winked before nodding her over to the bar where she followed him after giving you a quick wave.

You took this time to go and say happy birthday to Woody, one of Mason's friends you actually liked as he’d been around almost as long as you had but just like you had fallen into the trap of letting him get away with things he probably shouldn’t.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked, noticing your disgruntled expression fairly quickly but you just sighed before rubbing your head.

‘I explicitly told Mason not to flirt with her but he’s all over her, I can't stand that boy sometimes’ you huffed, motioning over to where he was standing with Olivia. His hand on her back and his eyes on her chest and you heard Woody sigh next to you.

‘You know what he’s like, sees a pair of boobs and forgets all logic’ he tried to joke but you weren’t in the mood.

You could see Olivia looking for you, your eyes meeting after a few seconds where she gave you the ‘help me’ look and you made your way straight over to get her. Gripping Mason's shoulder as you popped yourself in between them and even though you weren’t looking at him you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

‘Thanks for the drink Mase, we’re gonna go have a dance’ you interrupted, not missing the way he rolled his eyes at you as he tried to speak again but you’d already pulled Olivia away and onto the dance floor where you were both giggling as you got lost in the crowd.

‘Corr he’s a right flirt, you weren’t joking we’re you’

‘Honestly he should come with a warning label’ you groaned. ‘I’m really sorry, I did tell him to keep it in his pants’

‘Don’t worry about it, it’s quite flattering’ she giggled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. ‘Let’s just keep it between us, by the looks of things he’s already moved on’ she told you and once you looked around you could see him chatting up some other girl and you decided to leave him to it. Rolling your eyes before you and Olivia got lost in the crowd and danced your little socks off.

When Olivia needed the loo, you let her know you’d go and get the pair of you some more drinks and once at the bar you were ambushed by the man you’d been trying to avoid for the last hour.

‘Thanks for that earlier, you jumped in at the wrong time just as usual’ Mason exclaimed but you just turned to smile at him sweetly and the action caught him off guard.

‘No thank you, for completely ignoring me when I asked you not to flirt with her as she’s seeing someone and I didn’t want to make things awkward at work’ you reminded him but you noticed how he shut his eyes before looking back at you with a smirk and you knew he was about to get nasty.

‘So let me get this straight, Olivia’s been working with you for what, three weeks?’ He commented and his comment surprised you as you didn’t think he’d been listening to you that well whenever you spoke about her but clearly he had.

‘Just about, yeah’

‘And she’s already seeing someone?’

‘I mean it’s not official but-‘

‘So she can find someone… but you’ve been there years and-‘

‘Oh get fucked Mase’ you spat, your blood boiling at what he was trying to say and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drinks that had just been placed infront of you in his face. Mason had just put them on his tab though and you didn’t want to have to pay for your own so you just balled your fists up and tried to let it wash over you. ‘Are you getting a kick out of being an arsehole to me tonight or something?’

‘I’m just pointing out-‘

‘Well don’t, keep your big nose out of my business’ you told him, cutting him off mid sentence but you knew your comments hadn’t hurt him. Nothing ever did.

‘Low blow, y/n. Low blow. You’re lucky I’m not self conscious about it as I know it comes in handy’ he teased. Licking his lips to insinuate something sexual and you felt the disgust roll through you. ‘Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve barely spoken all night’

‘No, I don’t want to’

‘Hey, don’t be like that’ he frowned, but you were done talking to him tonight and you’d have been quite happy to have a few days' break from him after tonight’s interactions.

‘I’m not being like anything’ you huffed, seeing Olivia coming back out from the loo and you used this as your opportunity to get away from him. ‘Olivia’s back, I need to go’ you told him but you didn’t wait for a reaction. Picking up your drinks and making your way over to her but you weren’t in the mood to be happy anymore.

You found a quiet corner with Olivia so you could sit and bitch for a bit, mostly about Mason but you moved onto the topic of people you didn’t like at work until she opened up about Joe from the IT department who she’d got the eyes for. Apparently they’d hit it off from the first day when he handed her her laptop and she’d been falling for him ever since. Sometimes making up issues and submitting tickets for non-existent problems so they could talk and even though you thought it was cute and you were happy for her, Mason's words from before were playing in your mind.

Why did things like this never happen to you? Why could everyone else find someone but you were forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be picked. You were used to it now and you told yourself you were over it but there were moments like now when it stung and you didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

If truth be told you didn’t want to even be in this club anymore and when Olivia had to make a call you used the time to your advantage to try and find Mason to let him know you were going. Not that it would have made much difference to him as you’d barely spoken all night but when you made your way back to your section you knew something was off.

‘What’s everyone laughing at?’ You asked as you approached Woody and a few of the other boys. Woody's appearing awkward but you could see all the other boys were loving whatever was happening. ‘Where’s Mason?’

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’ one of the guys laughed but you were just confused as to what was happening.

‘What?’ You asked, turning towards Woody in hopes he’d give you a bit more of an answer but you could tell he didn’t want to. An embarrassed and guilty look on his face as you raised your brows at him until he eventually spoke.

‘He’s um, he’s in the loo’ Woody gulped but you didn’t understand what the issue was.

‘Okay?’

‘He’s not alone in there’ he whispered and the realisation hit you like a truck.

‘You’re joking? Please tell me you’re joking’ you whispered back, eyes flying around the room to see if anyone else had caught on but thankfully it was just his little gaggle of yes men that were in on it.

‘Well he didn’t exactly hide it’ Woody told you but before you could say anything else there was movement from the corner of your eye and you could see he was emerging from the disabled loo with a stupid smirk on his face and you felt sick to your stomach.

The boys were laughing louder immediately but all you felt was embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was your friend and he thought this was okay, embarrassed for whatever poor girl he’d taken in there and embarrassed that clearly everyone knew what was going on and he was just fine with it.

You watched him talk to security before coming back over to your section. The boys slapping his back before he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you just shrugged him off as soon as he touched you. Not even bothering to look up at his disgruntled face as your eyes were trained on the where he’d just come from and before long the girl emerged.

You watched her walk over to the man Mason had just spoken to, Mason clearly telling her he’d put her name in the list for your section but you doubt he even knew her name in the first place and you felt awful as she looked around for Mason to let her in. You were on the edge of marching over there yourself and telling them to let her through but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene so you just turned to Mason who was looking at you with an amused grin.

‘Seriously, Mason? I know you clearly don’t give a shit but that’s such an awful thing to do’

‘Oh stop getting your knickers in a twist, it’s not like I fucked her’ he told you matter of factly an you gasped at the way he’d just spoken to you.

‘What?’

‘I mean I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she took very good care of me’

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t wanna know that’ you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to block him out but he kept laughing at you like he found the whole thing hilarious.

‘Oh y/n don’t be such a grump’ he laughed. ‘Maybe you should think about getting yourself a bit, hopefully they might be able to pull that stick out your arse’

Mason words cut you deep, and you knew he’d only said it as he was playing on your biggest insecurity but that made it worse somehow. You’d opened up to Mason a few times about how unlucky in love you felt you were, how you never seemed to grab anyone’s attention. You knew he tried to help on nights out sometimes but nothing ever worked and you weren’t as on board with one night stands as Mason so clearly was. You were the definition of a wallflower and as much as you knew you had a lot of love to give the right person you grew more worried day by day that it would never be a reality for you.

You knew your face had dropped, Mason’s too once he’d realised what he’d said and that he’d taken it too far but you refused to show how upset you were, not just by what he’d said but everything that had happened tonight.

‘You’re a right dick sometimes’ you told him quietly, picking your bag up and storming out. You could hear the faint sound of him scoffing behind you but you didn’t have the energy to turn around and berate him anymore. Your eyes already stinging and the sadness rippled over you but you held it together so you could get out the door and sort yourself an Uber out.

You wondered if he might have followed you outside to come and apologise right away but you knew that would never happen. As long as Mason was happy in Mason land he didn’t care what he did or said to anyone else and even though you thought you might have been the exception, that clearly wasn’t the case anymore.

‘Y/n? What are you doing out here?’ You heard, Turing to see Olivia walking over to you with a concerned expression but you just blinked the tears away and gave her a half hearted smile.

‘Just getting some air’ you smiled. ‘Listen, I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t realise he was gonna be such an arse’ you apologised but you could see from her face it was all fine and she didn't care.

‘It’s not your fault, yeah? You’re not responsible for him’ she told you and you felt lighter at her words until she gave you a look you couldn't quite place. ‘But please don’t hate me, I’ve just been on the phone to Joe and he’s invited me over. You don’t mind if I go, do you?’ She asked and even though it stung slightly you couldn't blame her. Not when you were on your way home too now.

‘Of course not, don't be silly’ you reassured her, thinking that might be the end of it but the sympathetic smile she gave you made you feel worse somehow.

‘Are you going back in?’

‘I think I might just head home, I’ve had enough of him tonight’ you joked but she knew she could tell there was an air of truth behind it.

‘Don’t let him ruin your night, why don’t you come with me?’ She offered but you just looked back at her in confusion.

‘What? To hang out with you and Joe? I don’t think he’ll be too happy with that’

‘Oh no he’s at a party at his friends house not too far from here, there’s a load of people there and a few from work so you’ll know a load of them’ she explained and the idea of it being more than just the two of them sweetened the deal a bit.

‘I don’t know’

‘Pleeeeeeease. Don’t let that horrible boy upset you, plus I’m not done hanging out with you yet. Mason aside I’ve had fun tonight’ she pouted and you felt your resolve slipping. ‘Come on, I’ll pay for the Uber and everything’

‘Okay fine’ you laughed. Jumping into the car with her when it turned up and you were only ten minutes into being there once you realised what a good choice you’d made. You never hung out with your colleagues outside of work but you had a lot of fun and even made some new friends. The whole experience teaching you that there was more to life than Mason and you made a promise to yourself to take a step back from him for your own sake.

You made it home at around 3am in a taxi with a friend of Joes who’d promised to get you home safely. You’d been talking for most of the night and it was a complete 180 from being with Mason. He made you feel important and heard and when he kissed you cheek at your front door you felt your knees wobble. You blamed it on the drink and being so touch starved but once your were inside you realised how much of a good time you’d had without Mason once more.

The constant fear of what he was going to say or do next, the need to clean up his mess that inevitably always came and the growing embarrassment that came from being around him was getting you down. All you could think about was a break from him and If truth be told you needed a break from everything at this point so made a mental note to book some time off of work for a little break now the weather was getting nicer to go and see your auntie in Spain as a little something to look forward too.

You’d seen Mason had text you a few hours ago. Wondering where you’d gone and to text him back but you left it. Not wanting to talk to him right now so you got undressed and got into bed so you could wait for the inevitable hangover in the morning.

It was 8am when you woke up and knew your phone was going off every few minutes but you ignored it, not in the mood for whoever it was and when you hadn’t received a text for a while you had a quick Look I see they were all from Mason.

You didn’t believe his empty threats, ignoring everything he’d written and rolling over onto your other side so you could get back to sleep and thankfully it came easily as you were still so exhausted. He could work things out for himself for one morning surely?

You were expecting your head to be pounding when you next woke up, but you’d never felt it like this before. Never heard it in your ears so intensely or heard your name being called over and over until you realised it wasn’t what you thought and when you recognised Mason's voice you groaned into your pillow.

‘Y/n! Are you in there?’ You heard him call. Hoping you could just ignore him and he’d go away but Mason being Mason didn’t let up. ‘Right I’ve not heard or seen you since last night, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing so I’m calling the police’

‘Oh fuck off’ you huffed, storming out of bed in just your underwear and a tiny T-shirt so you could tell him off, watching Masons head snap up when you opened the door and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed all over you.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ You spat, pulling him inside and slamming the door shut before turning to face him with a furious glare. He was looking straight back at you the same way though and you’d never seen him so mad in all the years you’d known him.

‘Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?’

‘Are you being serious right now?

‘Completely. And can you go and get dressed you freaking me out’ he remarked but you just placed your hands on your hips and made him look at you.

‘No I can’t’ you told him and you knew he wasn't comfortable with you standing there in next to nothing so you used it to your advantage. ‘You were awful to me last night Mason, I mean you’ve not been nice for a while but last night tipped me over the edge’

‘What did I do?’

‘What didn’t you do!’ You exploded, seeing him visibly jump as he wasn’t expecting it but you just kept going, releasing all the pent up aggression and anger he’d made you feel lately and you could feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. ‘You’re so rude about me, about the way I dress and just how I am. I told you specifically not to go near Olivia and you did. Not to mention that poor girl you used in the toilet, I take it she wasn’t the same girl you took home last?’

‘Well no but-‘

‘I just, I don’t like what you’re turning into and I’m not gonna sit by and watch it happen anymore so if you still want me around you need to fix up and fix up fast’

‘You can’t tell me what to do’ he scoffed, the playfulness he usually spoke at you with now completely vanished and you had a feeling deep in your tummy that this wasn’t going to end well yet you carried on.

‘Well if you carry on like this then I’m out Mason. I don’t wanna surround myself with you and the people you hang out with anymore’

‘Oh you thought… oh that’s hilarious’ he laughed, clutching his tummy like you’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. ‘You actually think I care if you don't wanna talk to me anymore? That I’d care if I upset you? You really think telling me that is gonna make me change? Get real y/n, we’re not 13 anymore’

‘What?’ you breathed, his words feeling like a punch in the gut as he stared down at you and as much as you were trying to be the bigger person in this and make him see how awful he was being, you felt awfully small.

‘Well let’s face it, it’s not like we’re even from the same universe at this point and everything I do you take the wrong way’ he told you and you could feel yourself shrinking as he turned the tables. Bracing yourself to feel his full wrath as you knew he didn’t like being told off ‘You’re so uptight, y/n and is it any wonder why?’

‘You don’t have to get so personal all the time’

‘But you’re allowed to? You’re allowed to have a go at me cause I fuck around a bit and actually enjoy my life rather than play kids games and and make out I’m holier than thou? Just cause no one’s ever found you attractive doesn’t mean anyone else isn’t allowed any fun’

You never thought he could be this mean. His words from last night paled into comparison from what he was saying now and you unconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself as he tore you to shreds.

‘You know I tried to be a good friend, I tried my hardest to find you someone but you throw it back in my face everytime. Not that I think it would have mattered anyway cause they all tell me you’re too stuck up for your own good. No ones ever gonna want you y/n, cause you make it fucking impossible’

‘I've never been good enough for you have I?’ You whispered, watching the muscle in his jaw flex as a single tear rolled down your cheek, but his face remained hard as you tried to let him know how you felt no matter how heartbroken you were. ‘You know I always thought it was a bit of fun and teasing, you calling me a nerd or whatever but actually don’t like me, do you? But I’m good enough when you need me, I’m good enough to come over and kick out whatever girl you need kicking out. Good enough to cook for you and get you everything you need’ ’

‘Oh fuck off, y/n’ he spat, looking away from you and trying to make his way to the door. ‘You think I need you that much? Have a laugh, I only kept you around cause you came in handy sometimes’ he laughed, trying his hardest to hurt you and even though it was working you could see in his eyes he didn’t mean it. ‘People leave me all the time, why should I give a shit if you do too?’

‘Mase-‘

‘Nah it’s fine, I’ll go. Sorry for giving a shit about you, I know not to do that again. Don’t worry I won’t be back’

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was being defensive because you were upset with him and he wanted to make you feel bad too. You knew he could be mean but never like this and when he slammed your door in your face you stood there for a few moments just taking it all in. Replaying all the awful things he’d said to you before walking like a zombie back to bed and hiding under the covers so you could let a few tears out but not many came. Too in shock at hurt about what he’d said to form any real emotions but as the days went on you felt worse and worse about yourself.

Three weeks went by and you didn’t hear a peep from him. Wondering if maybe you should message him first but after a day you realised he was the one that messed up and you didn’t want to be running after him. He’d completely disappeared from online and you’d even had a cheeky look on some of his update accounts to see if he’d been spotted anywhere but it was just the usual training pictures and nothing more.

It was difficult, getting angrier as the days went by before sadness took its place. He was your best friend and had been for years but you hated everything he’d become and you weren't about to push your boundaries to accommodate him anymore. Not after all the awful things he’d said to you either that wouldn’t stop plaguing your mind.

You’d never felt as ugly as you did right now. His words had hit home as it was things you’d always thought about yourself but to hear them actually vocalised from the person who you thought you meant a lot to stung in a way nothing else ever had. Realising maybe you would be on your own for a long time as there clearly was something wrong with you and as the days passed the harder you cried.

Cried for the friendship you once had, cried for the words he’d spat in your face and cried for how awful you felt about yourself and how lonely you were night after night as you rarely spoke to anyone in fear of your emotions taking over now.

You tried to let it go, carrying on as normal but you could tell Olivia knew something was up. Letting you know she was there for you when you needed but for now you just wanted to wallow a little.

You were sat at home getting lost in a new true crime documentary when you felt your phone ring. Glancing down to see Mason's picture filling up your screen and you instantly froze. Too panicked to answer as you didn’t know what you’d say to him right now so you just stared down at the screen until the call ended. Anxious to see if he would call you back at all but he didn’t and you presumed it was a mistake until the next day when a text came through from him on your lunch break.

What did he want?

You presumed it was to apologise but at this point you didn’t want to hear it. He’d done and said enough and you were still getting over most of it so to have him back in your life seemed counter intuitive.

So you left him on read and forgot about him. Spending your lunch break with Olivia and Joe but by the time you were back at your desk he was all you could think about. His text had left a weird feeling in your tummy and you felt a little bad about knowing he wanted to presumably apologise but you wouldn't let him but what you’d said was true. You really weren’t ready just yet.

Sandra was a person you considered your work mum. A slightly older woman who worked on reception and was the smiling face that always greeted you every morning but she was also the woman you went to for advice and to have a moan to. She’s never judged you or told you what to do but it was nice getting an opinion from someone so wise so knowing you were going to see her filled you with a calmness you hadn’t felt in a while.

‘They’ve not got your favourite left, but I got you a kitkat’ you smiled as you approached the reception desk, noticing Sandra was looking back at you with an awkward smile that confused you until you looked to your left and were met with the brown eyed boy you’d been avoiding. ‘Mason? How did you even get in here?’

‘I let him in’ Sandra smiled, looking over at Mason with a wink and you could see him send her an appreciative smile as he made his way closer to you. Only then clicking the giant bunch of pink and white tulips in his arms and your chest felt tight at the sight of them.

‘You shouldn’t have done that’ you told her lowly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear but Sandra had other ideas and brought him into the conversation.

‘Oh come on y/n, how can you say no to that face’ she pouted, tilting her head over to him and once you looked back at Mason his usual cheeky smile adorned his lips as he playfully batted his eyelashes at you. ‘You need to talk to him anyway’

‘No I don’t, what’s he told you?’ you argued back. You purposefully hadn't told Sandra anything about what was going on with Mason as you were embarrassed and wanted to deal with it on your own but you should have known she’d find out eventually. Mothers always do.

‘That you won’t talk to him and that he wants to tell you how sorry he is’

‘Well he can tell me that himself’ you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest before you heard him not so subtly coughing. Looking up to find him glancing between the pair of you like he was reminding you he was still there.

‘I would if you gave me a chance’ he laughed before shyly nodding over to the sofa where guests usually waited. Silently asking you to come with him so you could talk a bit more privately and you reluctantly walked over after a beat. Watching Mason pluck a flower from the bouquet in his arms to give to Sandra as a thank you and you almost cracked a smile at how she blushed when she took it. The pair of them whispering a little before he turned to face you and he walked over like a naughty school boy.

‘Do we have to do this now?’ You asked. Not wanting to have this conversation with him here and now but since you’d been avoiding him you hadn’t given him many other options and you could tell from the way he was looking at you he was determined to speak with you.

‘Yes, we do. You’re ignoring me and left me no choice’

‘Can you just be quick?’ You asked, not wanting to air your dirty laundry in the reception where Sandra could quite easily hear everything and even though you felt bad he’d put the effort in to come and see you, you were practically turning him away.

‘Y/n-

‘Please, Mase. I’m at work’

‘Fine, I’ll go’ he huffed and the heartbroken look on his face made your tummy churn. ‘Only if you agree I can come over later and apologise properly’ he told you but you didn’t agree straight away and you could see he was getting desperate. ‘Y/n please’

‘Okay fine’ you sighed, nodding your head as you knew it would have to be done sooner or later and since he was making the effort you thought you should cut him some slack. His face softened immediately before his eyes fell to the flowers in his hands that he passed to you in with a shy smile

‘These are for you, your favourite’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, taking them carefully and you knew your face was turning red as you held them to your chest. This was the first bunch of flowers anyone had ever bought you and you could feel your eyes welling up at the fact he’d remembered your favourite ones.

‘Well it’s the least you deserve’ he nodded but you didn’t know what to say to him, standing there awkwardly until he coughed. ‘What time will you be home?’

‘Around six’

‘Okay well, maybe I could bring us some food over and we’ll talk’

‘Okay’ you whispered, nodding gently before looking down as you were so overwhelmed with emotions.

He didn’t say anything after that, just touched your arm and planted a quick kiss on your forehead before walking back over to Sandra so he could sign out of the visors book. His action confused you as he never showed you signs of affection aside from the occasional hug so the kiss only made you blush even more. Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before eventually joining them at the desk.

‘Leaving so soon? Sandra pouted as Mason approached her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she was so clearly wrapped around his finger already.

‘Yeah, this one wants me gone’ he teased, signing his name in the box but Sandra just threw you a disappointed look and you felt awful instantly.

‘Oh y/n’ she tutted before looking back at Mason with doe eyes. ‘If it were up to me I’d let you stay’

‘And that’s why you're my number one girl’ he told her. Flashing her his killer smile and sending her wink before turning back to you. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

You didn’t answer, just nodded before he left with a sad smile and as soon as he was out the door you felt Sandra’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

‘I tell you what, if I was 30 years younger that boy would be in serious trouble’ she told you, fanning herself with a sheet of paper from her notebook and you felt your resolve crack instantly.

‘God sake Sandra’ you laughed. It was clear that Mason was a hit with the ladies but you didn’t know he’d have this hold over someone like Sandra.

‘What’s he done? Is it really that bad or are you just making him sweat?’ She asked casually, the need to spill your guts to her was as overwhelming as ever but something was telling you to keep it under wraps until things with him were sorted so you didn’t say anything you might regret.

‘He’s not been the best for a while but we had a massive argument a few weeks back after he pushed everything a bit too far so we’ve not spoken in a while’

‘I’d just kiss and make up if I were you, he’s too pretty to be mad at’ she teased and you knew you were blushing again. This time out of sheer awkwardness.

‘It’s not like that, Sandra. He’s my best friend, nothing more, okay? No kissing or whatever else you think might be going on’

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’

‘That’s cause he’s trying to get on my good side probably’

‘Hmmm, we’ll see’ she winked but you didn’t want to listen anymore. Quickly making your way back to your desk so she couldn’t try and marry you off to your best friend but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through with your flowers. Even Olivia sent you a curious look but you motioned that you’d text her later to explain.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. Mason's flowers that were sitting on your desk were a constant reminder that you’d have to see him later and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him yet, if ever. Everything he’d said to you and the way he’d made you feel was still fresh in your mind and you knew they would take a while to recover from.

You were sick and tired of forgiving him for the cycle to start over again but you couldn’t deny you missed him. Yes things had gotten way out of control but you missed your movie nights and catch ups. You even missed making breakfast together after you’d kicked another girl out for him but you knew it all had to stop. He was a man now and able to look after himself and that’s what you wanted to tell him.

You weren’t expecting him to be on time, he never usually was, but at quarter past six there was a knock on your door. He was earlier than you thought he’d be and when you answered he stood there looking as guilty as ever with a few pizza boxes in his hands and you sent him a small smile before nodding him in.

‘Come in, you whispered, walking him into your living room so he could set the pizza down on the coffee table and take a seat but the only choice you had was to sit next to him as you could only fit a small sofa in here. Your flat wasn’t the biggest in the world and Mason always told you he’d pay for you to live somewhere nicer but it was time like these you were glad he didn’t. Not knowing what might happen if things went up in smoke.

‘Can I talk first? I’ve just been thinking about what I wanna say for days and I don’t wanna mess it up’ he asked you but you just nodded. Not sure what you wanted to say yourself yet so you figured you’d sit and listen to what he wanted to say first.

‘That’s fine’ you whispered, watching him get settled in his seat before launching into his monologue.

‘Okay well, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything’ he gulped ‘I know I’ve been the biggest dick and I’ve hurt you but I really am sorry and I’m gonna prove it to you if you’ll let me’ he confirmed and you felt his words swimming through your veins. Never once had you heard him like before let alone hear the words I’m sorry come out of his mouth and look like he meant it.

‘Last time I saw you, when I went off on one, I was just hurt that you’d called me out and I wanted to get you back for it. I know that’s childish and stupid but you hit home with everything you said and I couldn’t take it’ he told you. Clasping his hands together as some form of distraction as he spoke and you knew he was trying his best to hold it together.

‘You’ve always been there for me, you know? You’ve always done things for me that you shouldn’t have and you’ve stuck up for me when you didn’t need to but I’ve surrounded myself with the complete wrong people who don’t care about me. They’re looking for a good time and never tell me no so I thought it was great, but not having you around has just made me realise they’re not the sort of people I need in my life, yeah? You’re what I need’

His strangled voice was pulling at your heartstrings but no matter what he was saying you didn’t want to jump right in and accept his apology. There was so much you wanted to say and that you needed him to know about how he’d treated you. You could see he was sorry and it was evident that he was hurt but if you didn’t want to let him off easy, you wanted him to understand exactly how you were feeling and leave nothing unsaid so you could move away from it and hopefully move on.

‘Please say something’ he gulped, wanting to hear something from you straight away but you knew as soon as you started you wouldn't be able to stop.

‘Thank you for apologising, it really does mean a lot to me that you came here but i'm really hurt Mase and I’m not really sure what to say’ you told him. Your voice sounding thick no matter how hard you tried to hold the tears in and you watched the heartbreak on his face as he saw you get upset.

‘It just sucked, I guess. To feel like you only ever called me when you needed me, like to get rid of someone or if I fit into your plans. Just felt like you didn’t give a damn about me ever. I’ve never said anything or judged you about the way you acted, not until recently at least, cause we’re friends but maybe I should have. Like just told you no a couple of times but I just felt so small to you and that it wouldn’t make a difference’

You could tell he wanted to speak, to let you know that it was all untrue and that he cared about you more than anything but he didn’t butt in. He let you speak and gave you your time to get everything out you needed to and it was more therapeutic than you thought it would be.

‘You know I remember the last time I knew I couldn’t count on you anymore. It was my last year at uni and I had an evening class so I could present my final project but all the trains were messed up and I had to walk there in the end through the rain’ you sniffed and when you looked at him you knew he knew what night you were talking about. ‘It took me just under an hour and I was late in the end so I got docked points and had to make it up with some extra credit but I called you. I called you and you said you were sorry but you were stuck in an important meeting and you couldn’t get out of it’ you hiccuped and it’s like he didn’t want to hear any more. His hands covering his eyes as he shook his head from side to side but you kept going. ‘But then when I got home and I just wanted someone to talk to and rant to there were pictures of you plastered online with some random girl in your lap and I knew you’d lied to me’

‘I’m sorry’ he blubbed, looking up at you with red eyes and a wobbly bottom lip but even that didn’t stop you from carrying on. The words pouring out from your mouth like a waterfall as years of hurt made their way to the surface.

‘You made me feel so worthless when I’ve stuck around since day dot. You always spout about his family is everything to you but I thought that included me? And I felt like I never meant a thing’

‘You did- you do. You mean everything to me I swear. Please please don’t say that it kills me’ he sobbed before finally reaching for you. Pulling you into his body and you let yourself hide in his neck as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘I was a dick for no reason and you’re the last person I should have taken anything out on. You’re right, I was disgusting and I didn’t care about anyone else and you were the first person I actually cared about who told me no and I couldn't take it’

‘You really hurt me’

‘I know I did and I can't tell you how sorry I am’ he cried. ‘I know I’m not easy to be around or easy to keep up with but you’ve always been there and I took you for granted. I honestly didn’t see what I was doing wrong cause no one ever told me, like everyone just let me do what I wanted but I get it now, I really do. I was just so caught up in having a good time and not thinking about the consequences so I took things too far. I know I’m probably out of second chances but I need to ask again cause I can’t lose you’

Your silence was deafening for him and you knew he wanted some sort of answer from you. Eventually sitting up and making you look at him and even though he looked panicked his voice was calm as he carried on speaking.

‘I’m a fuck up okay? I know I am and I know the last thing you probably want or need is me coming back into your life to cause you more stress again but this massive fuck up has misssd you so so much’

You couldn’t stop the little chuckle that fell from your lips. The sound making him smile too before he took your hands in his.

‘I’m sorry for embarrassing you, I’m sorry for all the lies I’ve told and all the horrible shit I’ve said about you and I’m sorry for the constant 8am wakeup calls on a Saturday cause I can’t control myself. I know how to behave and I know what I need to do so I’ll just do it yeah? No more calling you up to kick girls out for me cause they won’t be there in the first place. You need me and I’ll do whatever I can to get there for you and do exactly what you do for me everyday. These few weeks without you have been awful and I’m sorry it took us getting to this point to make me see but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your hands a bit tighter. ‘What do you say, huh? Do you think we could work something out?’

‘I mean, you’re right. It probably is the last thing I need’ you started, watching his head sink as his eyes fell to his lap but you just considered it a tiny bit of payback for now. ‘But I can’t lie and say that I haven’t missed you too,’ you told him. Voice wobbling at the end as your emotions took over and you could see he was also finding it hard to take. ‘But I miss the old Mason, I miss my friend’

‘I’m still here I promise. Just give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m still in here’

‘Please don’t make me regret it’ you whispered but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. Mason bundling you into his arms and the feeling of his arms around you settled you more than anything else had and when he pulled back to smile at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Just because you’ve apologised doesn’t mean things can go back to the way they were. I might need some time’

‘I know, I don’t want that either. I’m gonna prove to you how much I’ve changed and we’ll go at your pace. I just needed to apologise and that’s whether you accepted it or not, but I really would love it if you did’

‘I do’ you told him, your face crumpling once again but he was quick to wrap you up and comfort you once again.

Over the next few weeks he was an angel, giving you the space you needed but also checking in when he could. Things felt normal but so different at the same time and the relief of having your friend back was overwhelming. It was two weeks later when you next saw him in person though, Mason messaging you early Friday evening to see what you were up to the next day but you weren’t expecting his response.

The fact he was offering to drive was tempting. You hated lugging heavy bags on the train and the fact the prospect of food was involved was even more appealing but you hadn’t hung out like this in a long time even before your big fight. Mostly because he was always busy but also because you’d just silently grown apart in that way. Mason liked getting his own way and him doing things for other people didn’t fall into that category.

You had a lot to do and the last thing you needed was him getting bored and rushing you round before spending an afternoon with him trying to annoy you. You knew it was mean but you wanted to put him off a little bit so you could shop in peace but you didn’t want him to think you were still mad at him and didn’t want to hang out.

His message made your heart sink. He really was trying and you knew he wanted more opportunities to prove himself but before you could think about it anymore he was messaging you again to try and convince you even more and you couldn’t deny him this time.

When 9 rolled around the next morning he was there. Standing by his car as he opened the door for you after a quick hug and you promised yourself you’d try and be positive about today and give him a chance to prove himself if that’s what he really wanted.

‘You eaten?’ He asked as you got bucked in, knowing how hungry you got in the mornings but you always prioritised sleep over eating. You had a little bit of extra time today though so you nodded your head at him but didn’t miss how his face dropped slightly.

‘I had some toast’

‘Oh okay, I um… I picked you up one of those juices you like and a pastry but if you don’t want it that’s fine’ he mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed and you felt your heart race at how thoughtful he’d been.

‘Oh… oh no I’ll have it. You know what I’m like, always starving’ you laughed, accepting the little bag and juice he’d picked you up with a smile and you could see how shy he looked. An expression he didn’t usually wear and his soft smile made your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Thank you, Mase’

‘It’s okay’ he whispered, starting the car so he could look away from you and even though the drive was fairly silent with just the low sound of his music playing, you didn’t feel awkward.

‘You coming then?’ You asked as he finished parking, watching his smile light up his face knowing you weren’t going to leave him to sit in the car on his own before he nodded enthusiastically at you.

‘So this trip, is it the usual?’ He asked as you made your way into the main shopping centre and you knew he was referring to where you were going as you visited your auntie in Spain every year.

‘Yeah, it’s just for a few days this time but I really need the break’ you explained and he nodded at you knowingly.

You went to Boots first, Mason holding the basket for you as he followed behind and you filled it with everything you needed. You were about halfway round the shop when you realised something was different, Mason not questioning why you needed everything you put in the basket or making stupid jokes. If anything he was more than helpful, reaching the higher shelves for you and manoeuvring you around the busy aisles by your waist as he knew you hated the crowds.

When it came time to pay, he scanned everything for you while you packed the bag and when you were done he picked it up without any questions so you didn’t have to carry it.

Next on your list was clothes. Wanting to try a few different things on to your usual so you could mix it up a bit and when you had an armful of things to try you turned to Mason with a smile.

‘Will you come into the changing room with me?’

‘What?’ He choked, his eyes going wide immediately as the question sunk in but you just rolled your eyes as you tugged on his wrist.

‘Yeah I need your opinion and I can’t be bothered to keep walking out here every time. I’ll go to one of the family ones so my arse isn’t shoved in your face, don't worry’ you laughed, pushing him inside with you so he didn’t have a choice but you could see the awkwardness on his face. Eventually shifting his eyes to the floor until you bundled him into a cubicle and made him sit on the seat in the corner.

‘I um… what do I-i um’ he mumbled as he set the bags down and you couldn’t help but giggle at his awkwardness. A side of him you hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me in my underwear before’ you laughed thinking back to when you were growing up and to even more recent times like when he showed up at your door and on nights out when he had to put you to bed after one too many but you could see he wasn’t feeling a bit strange so you hung the dresses up on the rail and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Shut your eyes until I tell you to open them, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Shutting his eyes and covering them with his hands as you turned away and picked up the first dress.

It was nothing like you usually wore. Tight and short with a fully cut out back meaning you had to quickly take your bra off to try it on and the thought of wearing it outside these four walls terrified you but you were determined to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

‘You can open them now, what do you think?’ You asked him, watching his eyes adjust to the light for a second before an unreadable emotion took over his face.

‘Oh it’s um… it’s different’ he told you and you couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

‘Well I’ve been thinking about what you said and even though I was pissed at the time and you could have probably worded it nicer I think you were right’ you told him, hands brushing over the short skirt and even though you felt different in it you didn’t feel too uncomfortable. ‘I need to show a bit more skin, you know?’

‘Wait-‘

‘What do boys like more? Bum or boobs? Like what do I need to-‘

‘Wait, stop’ he interrupted, the tone of his voice making you stop in your tracks and turn to him and when he held his hand out to you, you took it carefully. Letting him pull you in between your legs slowly so he could talk to you better but when you felt his fingertips on the backs of your bare thighs your legs turned to jelly.

You didn’t know what it was, that weird feeling pulsating through you at just a simple touch from Mason of all people and the sensation made it feel like you couldn’t get your breath out properly. In the end you had to rest your hands on his chest so you didn’t crumple to the floor and it was like the atmosphere changed within a heartbeat.

His big brown eyes looked dark as he peered up at you through his lashes, the bridge of his nose a deep red and his pouty lips had parted slightly as he tried to control his breathing but it’s like you blinked and the moment was gone. His eyes moving to look at your shoulder now and you moved your hands away from his chest to cross them over your body.

‘Sit down, yeah?’ He whispered, nodding his head to his leg and you sat on his thigh as he caged you in his arms. His face serious as you wondered what he might be about to say to you and you could feel your cheeks getting warm as he looked at you in a way he never had before. ‘You don’t… you don’t need to change the way you look or dress, okay? I was a dick and I shouldn’t have said all that before. It was crap of me and it wasn’t true anyway’

‘But-‘

‘But nothing’ he whispered, cutting you off and you felt your eyes sting as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You deserve the world, you know that? And you deserve a man who doesn’t care about how much skin you’ve got on show or what your body looks like in what you’ve got on. You want a man who cares about what’s going on in here’ he whispered, tapping your temple lightly before doing the same to the top of your chest. ‘And in here. And yeah it might be a wait but you’ll get there. You don’t have to sell yourself short to dickheads like me who don’t have what you need, okay?’

‘It just gets hard sometimes’ you sniffed, his words hitting you deep in your tummy and you couldn’t stop the tears spilling from your eyes before you felt him pulling you into his body for a cuddle. Your head nestled into his neck as you held onto him for dear life but the feel of his hand stroking up and down your back bare soothed you ever so slightly.

‘I know it does’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You hiccuped, barely able to hold yourself together at this point but his gentle touches really were helping. You felt safe with him for the first time in a long time and you knew you could tell him anything and it wouldn’t matter. He’d listen and reassure you like best friends are supposed to.

‘Nothing, I promise. Absolutely nothing, you’re perfect okay’ he told you. Speaking the words directly into ear and he sounded so determined and sure of himself that the sound made you shiver. ‘You’re too perfect, maybe that’s the problem. It's dicks like me that have got something wrong with us yeah’ he laughed and you let out a little chuckle before pulling back so you could wipe your eyes. ‘Does everything you picked out look like that?’

‘Yeah’ you laughed, smiling as he caught the tears you missed.

‘Okay well let me go and look for you, I saw a few bits that are more you but just a bit different. You can try those on and see what you think, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you sniffed, not sure about this idea but you were willing to entertain him at this point and when he came back with a few bits you were actually surprised at how much you loved them. Still your style but just a little different and you couldn’t help but give Mason a massive hug at the end.

Once you’d paid, Mason offered to take all the bags back to the car whilst you popped into Primark for underwear and socks and once you were done you met him outside. Your tummy grumbling as it approached lunchtime and he let you pick wherever you wanted to go but you settled on Nando’s as you knew that’s secretly what he wanted and since he’d been good to you that morning you figured you’d be good to him.

You were back at his just after one, leaving your bags in the car but you noticed he’d taken in a white paper bag that you hadn’t seen him with all day and after the pair of you got yourselves a drink and settled on the sofa, he turned to you with a shy smile.

‘Hey, so I got you something’ he told you nervously, producing the white paper bag from earlier from the side of the sofa and you took it from him with a confused grin.

You didn’t ask what it was, just reached in to grab hold of the box and when you finally pulled it out you almost lost your breath. The brightly coloured picture of the northern lights making you smile immediately before you looked up to his nervous face.

‘I wanted to get you one we could maybe do together? I know it’s probably not as big or complicated as you’re used to but I thought we could start me off easy’ he laughed but you were too overcome with emotion to think of anything to say. Never in a million years did you think he’d want to do a puzzle with you let alone buy you one with a picture of the place you’d always wanted to visit the most on it.

‘Can we do it now?’ You asked excitedly. Knowing you had the whole afternoon together to finish it and when his face mirrored yours you felt like jumping up and down.

‘Of course’ he grinned. ‘I’ll clear the coffee table and we can do it there if that’s alright?’

‘That's perfect’ you nodded, hugging the box to your chest as you stood up before touching his arm gently so he’d look at you. ‘Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I like to be comfy when I’m getting my puzzle on’ you laughed but he just smiled before motioning to follow you to his room. Picking you out a few things to choose from and you settled on a pair of his grey shorts and an oversized T-shirt of his before taking a hoodie down with you just in case you got cold.

Mason got changed too just after you before running into the kitchen to get you both some snacks and drinks whilst you cleared the table and soon enough you were tipping the contense of the box onto the table so you could get started.

‘Right what do we do?’ Mason questioned, the large pile of tiny pieces daunting him quite clearly but you just giggled as you took a seat opposite him.

‘Well I’ll tell you how I do it, so we need to find the corner pieces first, then the edges then we’ll sort the leftovers out by colour and go from there. That sound good?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you gave him the task of the corners and edges whilst you organised the rest. Only realising then how much of a difficult one this one might be. He was right in saying it was less pieces than you were used to but the picture was complicated and once he’d got all his pieces sorted he looked at you with a confused smile.

‘You realise this is gonna be difficult? And we could be here for a while’ You told him, watching him gulp nervously before looking back at all the pieces.

‘Really? But it’s only 500 pieces. The ones you do are thousands’

‘Yeah but the picture here is complicated, it's just all random colours like there’s no buildings or anything to work from’

‘Oh, shit sorry’ he laughed before shrugging at you. ‘I just know you’ve always wanted to go so I thought you’d like it’

‘No don’t be sorry, I do like it. Love it, in fact. I just don’t want you to get bored or frustrated with it if it takes a while’

‘No it’s okay, I can do it’ he told you. The same determined look you’d seen in his eyes countless times before important games and finals and it made you smile that he was applying the same fight for this.

You let him put some background music on as you worked away. Talking lightly about some plans you both had coming up but it was difficult for Mason to multitask. You could see he was trying his best and had done a lot of work in one of the corners but he couldn’t puzzle and talk like you could and you thought his concentrated face was cute. Often finding yourself just watching him for a few moments until he caught you and sent you a lopsided smile as he blushed.

You ordered food in when the time came. Taking a small break so you could reevaluate how much you’d done before jumping back in and it was approaching 9pm when you finally finished. Mason giving you the last piece to place in as he knew it was your favourite bit before you cheered and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

‘Not bad for something dorks do, huh?’ You giggled but it was like he was frozen. His gaze all over your face before a look of guilt washed over his.

‘You know I never thought you were a dork’ he gulped, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pulling you further into his lap.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, cause it’s not’ he shrugged. ‘I never meant it in a malicious way but even playing it’s still not nice so I’m sorry’

‘Thank you’ whispered and after he gave you a quick smile he was looking down at his lap shly again.

‘It’s kinda late, do you maybe wanna stay over? We can have a sleepover like we used to’ he winked and while the idea sounded fun you were also a little unsure.

‘I don’t wanna sleep in your sex bed’ you laughed and the shocked expression on his face made you giggle.

‘Hey, you think I let just anyone go in there? He laughed. ‘I don’t take random girls in there, I take them to the loft room. Well I did at least, I haven’t done that in a while’

‘Why not?’

‘Dunno, just not in the mood? Been too busy begging for your forgiveness’ he teased before his eyes were boring into yours. ‘Please stay’

‘Okay’ you whispered, slightly thankful he’d asked as you didn’t fancy the drive home this late. You were already sleepy and when he tucked you in next to him after he’d put a movie on it didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

The pair of you joked the next morning about who he would call to come and kick you out and you hadn’t felt this normal with him in years. Your Mason was back and you couldn’t be more thankful but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change.

It seemed to be going the opposite way though, Mason swapping his devil horns for angel wings and it was like he was getting sweeter by the second.

Every morning you woke up to a good morning text, and every evening he’d text you goodnight. Messaging you throughout the day when he could and even though it was always silly conversations it was like he’d made it his mission to make you smile whenever he could. He was being the best friend he could be and so much more but it was like he was changing his whole life for the better. No more random nights out so he could trap a girl and take her home, no more mean jokes at your expense and you hadn’t heard about his gaggle of yes men in weeks.

You spent all of your free time together. No matter what you were doing or how boring you thought he might have found it he wanted to be there doing it with you.

You knew Mason was always touchy with everyone but he’d never been the same with you. A hand on your shoulder maybe but that was it, however now he couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you now. Always standing next to you when he could, his hands on your waist or you back or his fingers threaded through yours as you sat and watched tv.

You could feel things changing but you weren’t sure what it was. Wondering if he was just happy you were back but you needed an explanation for the puppy eyes he was sending your way every five seconds that you didn’t understand.

You waited until you’d been to his for dinner one night, letting him load the dishwasher as you got comfortable on the sofa and once he was done he flopped down with his head in your lap as a content hum fell from his lips.

‘What’s gotten into you lately?’ You laughed, massaging his head slightly as he nestled into your lap even further but the action just made you laugh until he was rolling onto his back and looking up at you with a smile that made his eyes crease.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I know I said I wanted the old Mason back but this is something else’ you winked and you could see his cheeks flush as you called him out for his actions.

‘Well I want you to like me’ he shrugged, sitting up and taking your hand in his and even though he was shy you kept pressing him in hope of some answers.

‘You’re my best friend Mason, of course I like you’

‘What if I more than like you?’ He whispered, so quietly you thought you hadn’t heard it but when your eyes met his you knew he’d said what you thought he had.

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t either really’ he laughed, sitting up taller so he could face you and you felt your heart race at what he might be saying. ‘All I know is that things have changed for me and I feel like I need you to know how I feel. It’s fine if you don’t feel it too but I’ve just been feeling these things for you for a few weeks and you’re the person I tell everything to so I feel like I’ve got to tell you now’

‘What things are you feeling?’ You asked. Wondering if you’d maybe got the wrong end of the stick but his next sentence took the breath out of your lungs.

‘Im feeling like I wanna kiss you’ he whispered, barely able to hear him but you knew what he’d said.

What?

You couldn’t speak, and by the looks of it Mason knew he had to keep speaking so you let him squeeze you hand as he word vomited everything he’d been holding in.

‘I just keep having these moments with you, like time stops and I’m in this trance and all I can focus on you and wanting you in a way I’ve never done before. Remember when we did that puzzle? You put that last piece in and you were just so happy like I swear to god all I wanted to was kiss your face off’ he laughed but you couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not sure how to react as no one had ever said anything like this to you let alone your best friend.

‘Mase I- I don’t think I-‘

‘It’s okay’ he smiled. ‘I said it’s fine if you don’t’ he smiled and even though him saying it made you feel better, you could tell he was a little embarrassed. Wondering if you should make a joke to ease the tension and as he looked away you began to speak without even thinking.

‘I know you said you weren’t in the mood for girls but you must be really desperate if you’re thinking about kissing me’ you laughed, trying to ease the tension slightly but he just smiled at you and shrugged.

‘I wouldn't go that far. But it’s honestly fine, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve probably got all mixed up. I’m sure it’s just a phase and it’ll pass’ he laughed. ‘Just forget it, it’s fine and I don’t want things to be weird’

But how could you forget?

No one in your entire existence had ever admitted having feelings for you. It was something you never thought would happen yet here was your best friend telling you he felt like he wanted to kiss you.

It was like a switch had suddenly gone off in your brain, over the coming weeks finding yourself daydreaming about kissing him too and what it might be like to be his girl. Thinking about how his hand would feel clasped in your own, his fingers linked in between yours or just how his touch would feel anywhere and everywhere on your body.

You shook yourself out of it at first, like you were waking yourself up from a nightmare and you couldn’t comprehend how your brain had conjured up such a strange image but as the days went on you basked in it. Giggling as you dreamed about all the things you could do together and how happy you could be.

The pair of you had always been platonic, and whilst lately the lines maybe had become a bit blurred as he became touchier with you with the added time you spent together, your thoughts about him lately were anything but platonic.

Everytime you shut your eyes all you could see was his soft smile and the way his eyes creased at the sides so adorably. The dimple on his cheek made your heart race and all you could think about was taking him up on his offer and planting your lips on his. It wasn’t just his smile though, it was everything. His chocolate chip eyes you wanted to drown in, his smell that made you feel like home and his arms that made you feel safer than anything else.

Everything seemed to be hitting you like a truck and you felt ridiculous. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone constantly and the butterflies only intensified with each new message. Finding yourself sat giggling in anticipation of what he was going to say next and going to bed with a huge smile on your face every night.

You never meant to fall for him, much like he probably never meant to fall for you, but it had happened and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Feeling like a schoolgirl with your first crush and the fact you knew it was reciprocated somewhat excited you and filled you with dread at the same time.

The more you thought about him, the sillier you started to feel. He never offered to be your boyfriend, never said anything about dates or anything extra. He’d said he wanted to kiss you, and that was it.

The words just a phase rang through your ears constantly and as the days went by you realised you didn’t want to be just a phase to him. Disappointment flooding you at him trying his best to curb his feelings whilst yours only grew for him.

You’d noticed he’d pulled back from you a little bit, trying his hardest not to talk to you every minute of the day but you didn’t let him ignore you for too long. Now you were in your feels all you could think about was him and when you might next get to see him. Not wanting to look too eager and alert him to the fact anything had changed but when he text you one evening you felt your excitement levels rise.

You decided to wear one of the dresses he’d picked out for you for your holiday and gave yourself enough time to do your makeup nicely and straighten your hair. You didn't know why you wanted to, or maybe you did, but it was the first night out where he wasn’t trying to set you up with one of his friends and you felt more relaxed about it. That was until he text you that he was on his way and you felt like throwing up.

It's like the words were stuck in his throat as soon as he saw you, frozen to the spot as you locked your door behind you and you could see him visibly gulp as he tried to shake it off and say hello to you properly.

It was one of the weirdest nights out you’d ever been on, the pair of you turning up together and he led you to your section by your hand. Once he’d found you both seats next to each other he was off to the bar to get you a drink with his eyes not leaving you for me more a few moments before he was back with you.

Things only got weirder though as he paid no attention to any of the girls looking his way, not even engaging in conversation with most of the girls the boys would introduce to him and when you tried to question him about it he just shrugged and said he wasn’t in the mood.

‘Hey y/n, have you met Ethan?’ Woody asked as he nodded someone over. A tall guy with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way over to you and you rolled your eyes at his clear attempt to set you up with another one of his friends after you’d told him to stop but the feeling of Mason dropping your hand from under the table that made you turn away to look back at him.

He didn’t say anything, just gave you what looked like a sad smile before you had to turn back to say hello to Ethan. Woody banging on about how he came from Portsmouth just like you and Mason and how they’d gone to primary school together but now Ethan was in the Navy hence why you’d never seen him but he was back for a little while to visit.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you felt weird now Mason's hand wasn’t in yours. Looking down to see it was resting on his thigh so as carefully and as sneakily as you could you laced your fingers back through his and squeezed it gently. Not acknowledging him in any way but you could see his head snap up to look at you from the corner of your eye before his other hand fell over your clasped ones. Fiddling with your rings as the others spoke and you tried not to smile at how adorable he was being.

All the thoughts you’d had about having more with Mason that week, he was making a reality tonight. Giving you glimpses of what it might be like to to be his and how he might treat you but you were still so unsure as to what he wanted as he told you he was just a phase he was getting over so you played dumb for little.

‘You wanna dance?’ You asked him, tugging on his hand gently but he just scrunched his face up slightly.

‘I’m good, you go I’ll watch you’ he smiled and whilst the thought of him watching you dance thrilled you a little bit, you also could tell he wasn’t on his a game and looked like he didn’t even want to be there at all anymore.

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem as into it as usual’

‘I’m fine’ he shrugged ‘Dunno just not in the mood to be around loads of people i guess’

‘We can leave if you want? I mean it’s way past my bedtime anyway’

‘We can, but I’ve got one condition’ he told you with a smile, leaning closer so he could talk right in your ear and you felt every hair in your body stand to attention.

‘What’s that?’

‘Come stay at mine?’ He whispered and his offer made you freeze. ‘I’ll make you breakfast in the morning’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him take your hand and lead you out but you were surprised he didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone first. Only giving Woody a quick wave who gave the pair of you a look you couldn't quite make out before you were jumping in a cab back to his.

Part of you was happy he wanted to get home earlier than usual, it had been a long week and once you were changed into an oversized T-shirt of his you got settled on your side of his bed. Hazily watching him slip under the covers in just a pair of boxers as you tried to hide a smile and thankfully he didn’t catch it.

‘Go to sleep love, you look exhausted’ he laughed, tucking the duvet around you a little more tightly. ‘I’ve just got a few emails to look through okay but I’ll be quite’

‘That’s fine, Night Mase’

‘Night love’ he whispered and you turned onto your side away from him so you could get comfy and hopefully drift off soon.

Your whole body felt like a dead weight, your eyes feeling like they’d been stuck together with glue but your mind wouldn’t shut off and you knew you would be thinking about Mason and replaying most of the night you’d just spent together. Remembering the way he held your hand, held your waist and spoke directly into your ear like you were his made your spine tingle. But the memories were soon becoming warped and disfigured as your brain became tired and you eventually let the sleep take you.

You hadn't been asleep long, but the feeling of Mason's arm sliding around your waist as he cuddled up to you woke you slightly. Not enough to wake you up fully and the warmth of his body pressed against yours was already sending you back to sleep so you just went with it and let him hold you. Revelling in the soft kisses he was pressing to your shoulder as you tried not to smile but you definitely weren't ready for what was about to happen next.

‘What am I gonna do with you, eh?’ He whispered, only just loud enough for you to hear but you knew you shouldn’t be. He obviously thought you were still asleep and couldn’t hear him so you stayed as still as you could and kept your breathing steady in hopes he’d carry on. ‘I’d do absolutely anything for you, you know that? And I’m really trying to get over you but you make it so difficult’

I don’t want you to get over me was the first thought in your head but you didn’t vocalise it. You wanted him to keep talking, to see what else he could admit to your semi unconscious state and luckily enough for you he kept going.

‘I know I said it was just a phase but I’m not so sure it is now. You’re the only person who knows the real me and wants what’s best for me. I can’t get you out of my head’

You waited for more, but it never came. Soon enough his soft snores filled the room and you knew he was asleep but his admissions were enough for you. You knew how he felt, and you were pretty sure you felt the same now but you weren’t sure if you had the balls to do anything about it right now so you followed his lead and shut your eyes so you could let the sleep take you again.

Mason was still asleep when you awoke. The pair of you facing each other as you’d turned in your sleep and you used the time he was asleep just to look at him. His pouty lips and pink cheeks made your tummy flutter and after what you’d heard last night all you could think about is what to say to him this morning.

He didn’t give you too much longer to think about it though and you felt your heart thump as he stirred awake. His eyes opening softly as they latched onto yours but his expression remained unchanged asides from a small smile. Just looking back at you as you did the same to him and a sense of peace washed over you.

The pair of you were both on the edge of your own respective pillows, as close as you could be without touching one another but the moment felt intimate and you could see the love in his eyes for you as you watched each other bathed in the early morning sun. The light bringing out the golden tones in his hair and the honey hues in his eyes, it hitting you right there that your best friend was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

You both didn’t move for a while. Content with just looking at the person in front of you and thinking how thankful you were that you got a chance to wake up next to them and you knew this was only ending one way. You were nervous to say the least, but after everything you’d heard last night you were pretty sure you were on the same page and he’d welcome what you were about to give him.

It was you that made the first move. Not even sure as to why you did it but you lent forward slowly, watching how his body mirrored your own as you kept going and both your eyes snapped away from one another. Focusing on the others lips now and just as your hand reached out to touch his chest for a bit of support, your lips finally locked and his hand cupped your jaw immediately.

It wasn’t a soft kiss like you thought it might be, Mason stole the breath from your lungs as soon as it hit him what was happening. Pushing himself forward so he could hover over you and control the kiss a bit more but you moved your hand to the back of his head so he wouldn’t part from you.

Your tummy was erupting with butterflies, your chest heaving as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and you couldn’t help but press yourself into him further. Letting him grip your thigh as he hitched it up his body and you were quite happy to get lost in him but it was Mason that pulled back. Kissing over your cheeks until you were giggling and when he eventually pulled back his smile made your heart melt.

He was quick to settle back down next to you. Pulling your body right up against his and keeping your thigh wrapped around his waist before you felt his hand on your lower back so he could tickle your skin lightly.

‘Sorry’ you whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed about what you’d done but his gentle smile relaxed you.

‘Don’t be, I don’t mind’ he smiled. Pecking your lips again softly and you knew you were blushing. ‘You know I’ve been wanting to kiss for a while but I didn’t wanna push things too far’ he smiled ‘and it’s not that I don’t want to ever, but I don’t want you to regret anything right now’

‘I wouldn’t have’ you whispered, watching his face soften slightly but deep down you knew it was for the best. You still didn’t know what any of this meant and it was clearly obvious to Mason you were worried as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face and gave you a sympathetic smile.

‘What is it, love? What’s on your mind’

‘I just… I’m not sure, like what does all of this mean?’ You breathed. Watching his eyes light up as you finally spoke your mind. ‘Your my best friend Mason, I don’t want to lose you’

‘You won’t’

‘But I need to know what you want. Is it just a kiss? Like are we done now?’ You laughed, trying to keep it light as it was a pretty serious conversation but the smile on his face relaxed you.

‘No, I’m definitely not done with you’ he told you sincerely. ‘I get us being friends complicates things a little bit but I’m not the guy you think I am, not anymore at least anyway and definitely not when it comes to you’

‘I feel like I’m not enough for you’ you whispered, finally addressing the elephant in the room and you could tell your words had upset him a little bit. The frown on his face was adorable but you wanted him to know how you felt no matter how awful it sounded.

‘Don’t say that’ he huffed, kissing your jaw gently. ‘Tell me why so I can tell you it’s rubbish’

‘No because what if I can’t give you everything those other girls have?’ You laughed even though you were trying to be serious. ‘Like I don't wanna be a dick but you’ve always said you’d never be a one woman guy so what’s changed. What if your eyes wander somewhere else? What do I do then?’

You didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly but Mason knew you never minced your words and didn’t take it too badly. He knew his past and he owned it but he also knew it was his feelings for you that had changed him and he was willing to say whatever he could to get you on board.

‘Remember the day we did the puzzle together, and I said I hadn’t slept with anyone in a while cause I wasn’t in the mood? Well that wasn’t the reason. I didn't know it then fully but I hadn’t because all I wanted was you and the thought of being with anyone else made me feel weird’ he told you. His fingers delicately tracing patterns on your back as he spoke and you knew you were hanging off his every word. ‘At first I thought it was because I missed us being together and I wanted to spend more time with you, but then I wanted to spend all my time with you. My eyes aren’t gonna wander okay? They haven’t in months and why would they when you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’

‘You’re just saying that’ you whispered, not used to compliments like that coming from him and your instincts were to think he was lying but you could see in his eyes something had changed.

‘Don’t tell me what I think’ he teased, squeezing your sides gently. ‘I’ve always thought you were pretty, why do you think I could never understand that you were single?’

‘Mase I’ve never… I’ve never done any of this. You’re the first boy who’s ever admitted to feeling anything more than friendship with me. I don’t know what to do’

‘You don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to do anything okay? Nothing has to change. I just wanna hold you more, kiss you more maybe if that’s something you’d want’

‘I’ve never had sex’ you blurted and the confession made him chuckle. Clearly he knew this already but you just wanted him to be certain of what he was getting himself into.

‘That’s fine’ he whispered, pulling you in a little closer. ‘I know you’re scared, okay? This is different for me too. I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before, I mean I’ve dated girls and been exclusive with a couple but never got to the official stage. I’ve never wanted that from anyone but I want it from you. If that’s what you want’

‘I think I do, I’m just…’

‘What?’ He whispered, a look of love and reassurance on his face and you felt your eyes sting at how safe you felt with him.

‘I’m fucking terrified’ you laughed. ‘I know I’ve been trying to find someone but I never thought it would be you’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d fall for you either’ he winked before placing a soft kiss to your lips that made you melt into the sheets. ‘We don’t have to stick a big label on it or anything, we can just hang out like we have been and see what comes natural to us okay? And if it’s sex your worried about then I don’t care about waiting’

‘I don’t wanna be bad for you’

‘You won’t be, not when you’ve got me for a teacher anyway’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before his face got serious. ‘I know you’re scared but you know you can trust me don't you? I wanna be the one to show you, to make you feel good. I wanna be the one you trust to show you how good it can be’ he whispered and you felt your skin tingle all over at his words. ‘But we’ll wait until you’re ready cause there’s a million things we need to do before we get there’

‘So I’m not just a phase then?’

‘Not at all’ he laughed, ‘and I never thought you were. I could just tell you didn’t feel the same when I told you how I felt and I was trying to make you feel better’ He’d explained. ‘I couldn't go three weeks without you, gorgeous. And I knew I’d fucked up the next day but I was too much of a dick to do anything about it until I couldn’t cope without you anymore’

‘So.. you’re looking for a relationship then?’ You asked, wanting everything out on the table so you could both be certain about what was going on and you watched his face soften at you as he bit his lip nervously.

‘I wasn’t, you know I’ve never cared about that stuff but you’ve made me care. I want to do all that stuff with you. I’m done messing people around okay I just want you’

‘I want you too’ you whispered, finally admitting it out loud and you felt the weight of the world lift off of you.

‘Yeah? I thought you didn’t’

‘So did I, but ever since you told me how you felt I haven’t been able to stop thinking about us. Its like you tapped into this weird part of my brain that thinks about you in ways I never have before’

‘You’ve finally fallen victim to my mind control’ he teased and you only had a second to smile before his lips were on yours again. Hot and heavy as you wrapped yourselves around each other and you realised kissing Mason was better than you ever imagined. You just hoped you could somehow make him feel the same one day but when Mason pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘So if you’ve never had sex and never had a boyfriend, was that your first kiss?’ He asked quizzically, a spark of hope in his eyes that he could kiss you like no one else had but unfortunately you had to burst his bubble just a tiny bit.

‘You’d think it would be but no it wasn’t’ you giggled and he looked at you in deep confusion. ‘You remember Scott from school? Scott Grey?’ You asked and he nodded his head in confusion. ‘Well technically he was my first kiss’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yeah’ you laughed, laying on your back as he pushed you back slightly and you could see the jealousy written all over his face. 'He took me round the back of the science building after school once to show me his new tamagotchi. Asked if I’d liked to be its mum before planting one on me and then never spoke to me again’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his dick off’ he told you, brows pinched as you could tell how annoyed he was with him but you were quick to hold his face and kiss his nose.

‘First of all, no you wouldn’t have. He was twice your size and his dad was on the school board so you could have been kicked out. And secondly I never told you cause you’ve never asked’

‘I’ve been pretty rubbish haven’t I’ he huffed, it suddenly hitting him that he simultaneously knew everything about you but also nothing at all but the way you stroked his cheek let him know everything was okay.

‘If it makes you feel any better, you were my first proper kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone like that before’

‘That does make me feel better’ he chuckled. Getting himself settled next to you again before he pulled you into his chest. ‘What about dates?’

‘I’ve been on a couple’

‘When was the last one?’

‘Like two months ago? A few days after we had our big argument’

‘What?’ He laughed, tickling your sides until you giggled but you fought him off eventually.

‘After I called you a dick and left the club that night, Olivia took me to a party at some guys from works house. I got talking to one of his friends and we went out on a date a few days after but it was actually me that wasn’t feeling it and I told him I didn't see things going anywhere’

‘What was wrong with him?’ He asked quietly but that was the issue. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

‘Just didn’t feel what I thought I should have felt you know?’ You whispered and you saw Mason nod gently with a smile on his lips. ‘I know I’ve never been in that situation or felt those things before but I told myself when I did eventually find someone I wouldn’t settle for just anyone. I want fireworks and warmth and all those things you read about’

‘Do you feel it now?’ He whispered, his eyes searching your face erratically almost as if he was scared of your answer but little did he know he had no reason to be.

‘I do, yeah’

The relieved breath that fell from Mason's lips made you smile wider than you had in a while. His own face mirroring yours just as he planted another heavy kiss on your lips before trailing his kissed down your jaw and neck and you knew you had to try and distract him before you both ended up in a compromised position.

‘Mason?’ You gasped, hearing him chuckle against your skin and even though he stopped his attack with his lips you felt him nestle into you with a content hum that made you pull him in closer.

‘Yes love?’ He spoke against your neck, the vibrations travelling over every inch of your skin and you had to hold in your gasp at the feel of it.

‘You promised me breakfast’ you whispered and that was all it took for him to pull up and look at you with his usual cheeky smile.

‘I did, didn't I’ he laughed. Gently brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. ‘How do pancakes sound?’

‘It sounds like you want me to make breakfast’ you pouted, watching him nod at you enthusiastically before he was trying his hardest to pull you away from the warmth and safety of the duvet.

‘I love how you get me. Come on, I’ll assist you’ he confirmed and you didn’t have it in you to argue. Letting him pull you up so you could stand in front of him and when you felt his hands dangerously low on your back you smiled up at him cheekily. ‘Thank you for giving me a shot, I know I don’t deserve one’

‘You better make it worth my while then, Mount’ you teased but no more words needed to be said. You could see it in his eyes he was ready to make things as good for the pair of you as he could so you let him lead you downstairs by the hand to start the next part of your journey together.

Well done if you made it 🤭 thank you so so much for reading and I’d love some feedback if you fancy it 😘 xxx

[signedaiko]

Hey Aiko! Thanks for the HCs from the last request, I really enjoyed reading every word of them.

You know those math equations where they spell “I Love You” as the final answers?

Could I request HCs of [MTMTE/LL] Perceptor where Cybertronian![Reader] [Gender Neutral] has a huge crush on him and pretends to ask for his help with some equations when they’re actually confessing their love to him through the complicated numbers and symbols?

Happy Ending: He likes them back.

Perceptor X Reader [MTMTE]

In which Perceptor's lab assistant confesses in the numeric language they both work with.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot. Romantic.

The science wing aboard the Lost Light had become your home the last couple of months

More specifically, Perceptor's lab, where you'd been handpicked by the scientist to assist him with research

It was a dream come true! I mean, whatever the quest the ship was on was, it was fun and all, but having read every last one of Perceptor's research papers and lab reports, it felt wrong to be the one picked to help

He was Cybertron's genius, the best of the best, and he wasn't weird about it either

Most days you'd stand in the lab, comparing and accumulating data relevant to his research, taking care of any specimen, and cleaning

Most commonly, you were tasked with chemical waste disposal; each chemical was different, and each process was longer than the last

Today, however, Perceptor tasked you with sorting through the 'other' portfolio of research data

It was a list of all kinds of extras that were never finished, tasks galore.

It was also the perfect opportunity for you to work closely with him, since he was helping you comb through it

"What about the anti-anti-matter gun?"

"Anything with the word 'gun' is just Brainstorm trying to get me to do his projects for him. Dispose of it."

While he handled the physical box of 'other' projects, you were sifting through the online database

Thankfully your job was easier because you'd been so distracted watching him across from you and mulling over your plan that you wouldn't get anywhere otherwise

Truthfully, you'd long since sorted through everything using a quick sorting algorithm, but you'd been pretending to keep busy as you contemplated the pros and cons of confessing to Perceptor

He was your boss; if he didn't feel the same, it'd be awkward working with him every day

But your work performance was dropping with all the time you spent staring at him and daydreaming of your lives together

"Sorry, Perceptor, one last question. What is this?"

It was an entry with one equation: 9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)

"Don't know; you can note what it solves and delete the main file."

"But what are we solving for?"

Your bait worked, and the scientist stood up to walk behind you, leaning over your chair to get a better glimpse

"Nothing, you're supposed to fill in for 'i' and 'u,' but you can simplify it."

He leaned further in to point at the brackets

"Multiply everything in there by three. Yes, just like that. So now we have 9x - 7i > 9x - 21u."

As funny as it was that he thought you couldn't calculate it on your own, you let him continue

"9x is then cancelled out on both sides, leaving you with -7i > -21u. just divide by three and then..."

"i <3 u"

"Yes, exactly, that's as simplified as you can get it until you identify 'i' and 'u'"

Your smile faltered, realizing he may have still not understood what it said

God, how could you have expected this to work?

"Thanks, Perc—"

"For example, you could substitute 'i' for 'Perceptor' and 'u' for you. Come on now, don't act like I couldn't figure out your game. You think so little of my intellect?"

When you turned to look at him, you realized he was looking at you rather than the screen, a cocky smile sprawled across his face

"I swear I don't; I was just—"

"Just what? Thinking I thought you couldn't solve simple operations? Thinking I would have 'forgotten' such a small equation in my data banks?"

You hid your face behind your hands to try and hide the blush, but Perceptor was already chuckling and pulling you up from where you sat

"Well, if it means anything..."

He reached to the keyboard, adding an extra character

'i <3 u 2'

Author's Note - I love this guy. What a fella, what an enjoyable cocky fella!!!! Thank you for requesting!

[givemea-dam-break]

Not a prompt unless you want it to be, but you’re the only one who will appreciate -

George/Reader (or OC) where Reader is a Database Analyst for Fittes. Enemies to lovers.

Reader dedicates her life to making information more accessible/understandable/traceable and George can begrudgingly accept that. They make appointments with each other to argue over the merits of digitization, tagging systems, etc and if these arguments spill over into meal times, maybe they grab a bite and keep arguing, and oh no does everyone think we’re dating??

Anyways <3

a/n: RAHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH!!!! i know essentially nothing about technology though so i’ve probably butchered that part of this but i hope you enjoy!!! and thank you to @ikeasupremacy you really helped this go from a 2 page long flop that contained literally fuck all to a 5 page decent piece of work pahaha

warnings: mild language, mild angst words: 2.8K taglist: @neewtmas @locklylemybeloved @aayeroace @gotlostinfiction @waitingforthesunrise @mirrorballdickinson @mischiefmanaged71 @magicandmaybe @wellgoslowly @ettadear gn reader

Nice To Meet You - George Karim

“You know that, on the whole, this will make life way easier for you?”

“Since when do you want to make life easy for me?”

Taking an angry bite out of your sandwich, you say, “I’m not doing this specifically for you, twat. This is quite literally the purpose of my job, so it’s for everyone.”

George Karim sits back in his chair, glaring at you through the green reflections on his glasses. “And what exactly is the benefit of digitalising all of it?”

“Going over this again? Right, well, for one, there’s going to be new computers put into the Archives meaning more people can use them. Have I lost you yet? No? All right. For two, being able to search up what you want in a database is way easier than pacing for hours trying to find an old newspaper that someone might be using already. For three, multiple people can read the same file at the same time. You can’t do that with the musty old paper copies.”

There’s a moment of silence and an air of tension thick enough that you could cut it with a knife. The only sounds beyond George’s annoyed huffs of breath are the jingle of the café’s windchimes and chatter from other customers.

If you had your way, you wouldn’t even be sitting here discussing your plan of action with him, but your supervisor told you that you’d best talk about it to other agencies and their members to see what their thoughts are. Of course, the one time you head to Lockwood and Co. with the intention of speaking to them on purpose, hoping and praying you’d at least be speaking to Anthony Lockwood himself; you were sent off with his second and by far the most infuriating boy in all of London, George Karim. And, well, as you already know, he is a tough nut to crack.

“Why are you so stuck up on physical files, anyways?” you ask. “It’s not like we’re going to burn them on a pyre and force you to use a website. They’ll still be there. It just seems much more convenient to click a few buttons and have what you need.”

“They hold a particularly warm place in my heart,” he says with a hint of sarcasm. “But, fine, okay, life will be made easier for everybody with this new system. So why is it only being implemented now? Smaller agencies could’ve done with this years ago while Fittes and Rotwell and all the big companies have had it this whole time.”

Though you hate it, you can only shrug. “The big companies don’t want to have to compete with the smaller ones.”

“You’re saying this, but you’re working for Fittes, the biggest of the big companies.”

You grip your sandwich harder, pretending it’s George’s throat. “Yes, well, better pay than a smaller company. Some of us don’t get offered a bedroom when being accepted into a job. Besides, as much as I don’t like the big companies making a huge profit off of the Problem, I don’t have a choice. They’re the only ones with the resources I need. And, don’t forget, that’s where you used to work, too.”

Surprisingly, George doesn’t have a quip for that. He takes a thoughtful sip of his tea, glancing out of the café window and onto the busy street just beyond. The sunlight hits the lenses of his glasses in such a way that they shine a reflection down onto the table in front of you.

“So, this would be accessible for everyone?” he asks. “Not just the big agencies and their lackeys.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this to make you believe it, but yes. If that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

Quite frankly, you’re not surprised about having to repeat things over and over. Every single conversation you’ve ever had with George, no matter how fleeting or filled with irritation, has seemed like he had the personal mission of finding flaws in everything you do. Holding your rapier wrong – you absolutely did not, if anything, he was holding his wrong. Pronouncing a word wrong once. Taking a moment longer than him to spell a ridiculously long word on a report.

Now is no different. It’s as if you can see the cogs turning in his mind, working overtime trying to find an issue with this plan. But there’s nothing, that much you know from you and your team’s extensive planning and the look of mild horror on his face.

You can’t help the proud smile that parts your lips. “Go on, then, Georgie. Thoughts?”

He gives you a scathing look that only fuels the pride burning in your chest. “I think…”

“Yes?”

“I think that…”

“Carry on. I need to hear you say it.”

“Oh, shut up. I think that it’s a good idea.”

“Hmm? What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

You’ve never seen such anger in a person’s eyes. “I think that it’s a good idea. Happy?”

“Very. That’s all I needed to hear.”

George opens his mouth to say something, probably something insulting, but a waitress breezes over. She’s a sweet middle-aged lady with a contagious smile that even has him easing up a bit.

With a twinkle in her warm eyes, she asks, “Is there anything else I can get the lovely couple?”

And that does it. If you weren’t so shocked yourself, the horrified expression on George’s face would’ve cracked you up. It looks as if someone stepped on his puppy and then tried to feed it to him. Then, amongst your own disgust, you realise that the expression is at the thought of dating you, and no matter the animosity the two of you share, you can’t help but be a little offended.

“Oh, uh, we’re not –“ You purse your lips. “Nothing else, thanks.”

She leaves momentarily, and your table lapses into an entirely uncomfortable silence. You can’t look at George. He can’t look at you. There’s a weird pit in your stomach. Nausea. Right? Because… Ew.

“I told you we shouldn’t have continued this conversation during my lunch break,” you grumble.

He hums in agreement, finding particular interest in his swirling tea. “We should probably go.”

“Yeah. Yeah, uh, we’ve covered all bases. Of the plan, I mean. Not anything else. The plan. My job.”

But, even still, you’re both sitting. You’re not moving. Why? Maybe you’re paralysed with disgust. Maybe the mere thought of people thinking that the two of you are dating is debilitating. Maybe, maybe, maybe… You’re considering it?

God, no. That’s horrid to even think about.

“I, um, are you heading back to the Archives, too?” you ask.

George takes a moment to respond, as if lost in a daze. “Oh. Yeah – Uh, yeah, I am.”

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

As soon as you stand, George is on his feet, enough money slapped on the table for the two of you, and heading over to the exit. And, well, as much as you want to let him head off on his own, here comes that realisation that it’s a little insulting that he is the one trying to escape so quickly.

What a little prick.

You’re out of the door almost as soon as he is, insistent that you will be the one ahead. Yeah, sure, you’re heading to the same place and could try to be amenable, but will you? God, no. You want him to know that you can leave just as easily and are just as horrified by this prospect of a relationship as he is.

Why wouldn’t he want to date you? Beyond the constant arguments you have, you’ve always figured you’re a pretty decent person. Smart, but not arrogantly so. Friendly. Funny. Good company. Caring. What’s not to like? How dare he be disgusted!

But he seems just as determined to reach the Archives first. It’s only a few corners away, but it feels like a miles-long race between the two of you. But if the prize is your dignity, then to hell with the distance – you’d go actual miles to preserve that, especially against George.

It comes to a halt when you’re forced to wait at traffic lights, unable to even slip across the street before they change from red to green merely because of the amount of coincidentally flooding traffic.

For what feels like hours, you have to stand beside him, listening to him breathe and mutter and tut as if this is the biggest inconvenience in the world. Hey, if he didn’t think a relationship with you was such a horrible idea then this wouldn’t be taking place!

No matter that you think the exact same. You’re allowed to feel like that.

Do you feel like that?

The beeping of the pedestrian crossing jerks you from your thoughts, and you’re rushing across the street before you know it. And, oh, curse his long legs! He’s getting ahead of you.

There’s an anger building up in your chest now, one that probably isn’t fully justified. Perhaps it stems from deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy you’ve not had the mind to think about for a little while now. Or even just out of pure spite of George Karim that has been pulsing through your veins for years now. Why has it been there? Because of him. Because of his incessant need to find flaws in your work and you, and his need to huff at anything you say or do. Like your existence is a bother.

Either way, the anger forms words before you can think to dismantle them. “What’s your issue with me?”

George pauses, near the side of the pavement, with the Archives in clear view behind him. He’s frowning over back you, dark eyes narrowed and bouncing with golden sunlight. Why should someone that hates you so be complimented by the sun? It’s entirely unfair, especially when it’s only blinding you.

“What?”

You stop a foot or two in front of him, panting a little from walking so fast. “What exactly is your problem with me? What did I do to you? Because, far as I know, you’ve hated me ever since we first met.”

The words take a minute to process, and it looks as though he’s trying to figure out some hidden meaning behind them. There’s nothing hard about what you’ve asked. Nothing harder than admit you feel ashamed to have even asked it.

“I don’t –“ George’s frown only deepens, taking complete notice of the frustration on your face.

“Forget I asked,” you say. “It doesn’t matter. Stupid question anyways.”

But, when you start to walk away, a hand on your wrist stops you, pulling you back slightly. When you  look back, George is there, hand wrapped around your arm and staring at it as if it isn’t his own skin on yours. You expect him to pull away, disgusted at the thought of touching you, but his grip only softens slightly.

“I don’t hate you,” he says.

Scoffing, you say, “Yeah, right, and I’m Penelope Fittes. Let go of me.”

And, to his merit, he does. But your feet aren’t cooperating. They won’t move. Why, why, why won’t they move?

“I’ve never hated you,” he murmurs. His gaze is fixed on yours, something you’ve always noticed he’s steered clear of doing, and you feel frozen under it. “Intimidated, yeah.”

“Intimidated?” You roll your eyes. “George, come on. I was trying to be serious, but you’re just making a joke of it.”

The look in his eyes at that moment is a mix of desperation and exasperation. “I am being serious. Do you know how hard it is to be regarded as the smartest person someone’s met, to rely on the intelligence as your only form of worth to people, and then find someone smarter than you?”

Words try to form in your throat, only to crumble like chalk beneath too-strong fingers.

“And I’m sorry it’s made me lash out at you,” he continues. “I know it’s a horrible thing to do, but it’s like my mouth doesn’t want to cooperate with my brain. Truly, I regret how I’ve treated you. You’ve never deserved it.”

Your throat feels thick, and it’s hard to swallow. “Georgie, don’t lie.”

There’s a flicker of a smile on his lips then. “You know I like it when you call me that?”

“You told me you hated it when I call you Georgie,” you say, but it feels like your voice is dwindling.

“I told you that so you’d call me it more,” he admits. “(name), I really, truly have never hated you. And, again, I am so sorry I’ve treated you the way I have. I admire your intelligence and your insistence of sticking up for yourself. I just wish I had started things differently between us.”

The anger is back, burning a hole in your chest. “You’ve had years to tell me this. Why? Why didn’t you?”

He’s breathing rather heavily. “I was scared. I was trying to figure things out – my feelings, your feelings. But, more than anything, I couldn’t bring myself to change from the person you’d begun to see, because what if you hated the real me more than this one you know so well?” Now, his eyes tear away from yours as he stares up at the sky, looking for guidance from some divine being. “Even when you insulted me, I enjoyed it because it was from you. How lucky was I to even be able to speak to you, never mind hear you come up with all these unique names? There are millions of people who have never heard you speak, who have never had the pleasure of speaking to you or will never have it again, and I didn’t even want to chance becoming one of them.”

With that, the flames roaring inside your chest are extinguished. Instead, now, there’s a strange, unfamiliar feeling in your stomach that inches its way up your body and into your mouth, holding your tongue and stopping your ability to speak.

Despite all the quips, the need to find faults in what you do, he has never meant it. How horrible does that make you, saying all of these things to him because that was how you genuinely felt?

Do they count, seeing as they were formed on the basis of a personality that doesn’t truly exist?

Your fingers hurt from tearing at the skin around your nails. “You really think I’m so bad that I wouldn’t like the real you? Georgie, there is no way I wouldn’t have preferred it.”

He laughs at that, and the sound only bolsters this strange feeling in your stomach. Not quite butterflies, but almost. More melancholic. Could you have had the opportunity to hear that laugh for years now? To cherish it the way a person does a memory? The way an artist does a creation?

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell you how sorry I am,” he says, and you swear he inches slightly closer. “About the way I acted. The fact it’s taken me this long to admit this to you. All of it. I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

And you don’t. Not really. Not when it’s left a hollow feeling in your chest, left by the realisation that everything you said was unfounded and cruel and based on a person you had no true conception of. Not when this is how it has been for years between you both. Weeks, you could understand. But years?

There’s a part of you, though, that could potentially forgive him, given the chance. George may be quick to criticise or provide information for something, but he has always kept his emotions at arm’s length, that much even you know. So, for him to come and outright tell you all of this takes insane courage.

Even still, you can’t fully comprehend it all.

“Well,” you say, “you paid for my lunch. So that’s a start.”

He smiles then. A flash of white teeth and an insurgence of unfamiliar fondness in your heart.

“We could restart,” he suggests, pushing his glasses up his nose just so.

Despite the hollowness, you nod and manage a small smile. “I’d like that.”

Not even a second later, his hand is hovering in the air just between you both. “George Karim. Nice to meet you.”

It shouldn’t make your smile grow, it really shouldn’t, but it does.

“(name) (last name),” you say, clutching his hand in yours. “Nice to meet you, too.”

And, somehow, that smile of his, one you’re sure you’ll grow more accustomed to, adds a small piece of filling to the hole in your chest.

[scarlettriot]

♡ COLD COFFEE ♡

Pairing: Kirishima X Reader

Warnings: Hurt//Comfort. Injuries & Hospitalizations.

Word Count: 1k ish

A//N: I’ve been in a coffee shop AU mood so I present to you, this fuckin’ thing. It’s not proofed or anything. Thanks @meggsngrits for letting me ramble this morning. Ily ♥︎

Ever since Kirishima switched agencies, started his own, he’s been going to the same little coffee shop every single morning.

The lines were usually long but he never cared. He’d wake up with plenty of time to wait his turn and order his coffee with far too much cream and just a pinch of sugar and the box of half dozen little donut holes that he savored each and every morning.

Of course, seeing your pretty face first thing bright and early was always a bonus. He might’ve even developed a little crush on you— if only he knew you’d been harboring one for him too…

You couldn’t forget the day Red Riot walked into your coffee shop. The way he stood well over a foot taller than most of your other customers. And then there was his bright red hair and his blindingly bright grin. Too bright for 7 AM.

Just because you ran a coffee shop didn’t exactly mean you were a morning person…

Kirishima made it easier though (you only called him Red Riot once since he asked you to call him Kirishima from the moment you wrote his name on that first paper cup). For almost two years now you wrote his name down 6 days a week. Sometimes 7 if he came in on his day off.

You got to know the man over 3 minute conversations. While you pour equal amounts of coffee to cream in that paper cup. You learned when he had late patrols, when he had office days. You learned to pick up on his moods, the man wore them on his sleeve. You saw him with fresh injuries and watched as they healed, adorning his hands, arms, and face with new scars, but none were ever bad enough to make him miss a morning.

The first morning he did miss, you assumed he’d finally gotten a much needed extra day off. The following day was his scheduled day off and the next he wasn’t in either. He must’ve taken a long weekend.

Good. You couldn’t think of anyone more deserving.

But then rumors started circling. You saw them on the front page of a tabloid first:

The Sturdy Hero Red Riot - - Breakable After All

Ignoring the line of people you and making them increasingly mad, you flipped to the article that you knew better than to believe. They exaggerated everything after all. 80% of what was in this was plain false but you read it anyway.

There wasn’t much to go on. Just that there was a battle and Kirishima had fallen while protecting a group of civilians as well as his own sidekicks. He was in critical condition at a local hospital.

“Yeah, it’s true, don’t know how they got the info though. We do everything we can to keep Pro’s identities hidden while they’re in our care,” you friend told you on the phone after work that night. “Your crush is stable though. But, he’s still in a coma…”

The week that followed had never been more bleak. People seemed more irritable, hardly any of them had a smile, or maybe it was just none of them compared to Kirishima’s. Either way, you had to do something.

So, you start to make his order every morning before opening. Pouring the coffee into a to-go cup and packing 6 donut holes plus one extra for good luck.

You’d walk down to the hospital and leave the order with your friend to drop off all before opening the store up for the day.

He hadn’t woken up yet. But when he did, you wanted him to have his favorite treat. The coffee would probably be cold but at least the donuts would still be tasty.

Days turned into weeks that you kept up your little ritual and you had every intention of waking up the next morning and doing it all over again but, you’d been putting up the chairs when the bell above the front door rang. “Sorry, we’re—“

It’d been almost a month since you’d seen him. The longest you’d gone since he first showed up nearly two years ago. His dark roots were poking through matching the stumble that was covering his jaw but, other than that, he looked like the same smiling Kirishima you’d been falling in love with over paper cups and donut holes.

You clutched a mug so tightly between your hands it threatened to shatter, just trying to process that he was here in front of you again with that to-go cup in his hand.

He stayed close to the door but cleared his throat. “They told me I was out for a bit.” What a fat understatement that was. “Pretty sure it was your coffee and donuts that brought me back around… I never feel fully awake until I get my cup. So, I just wanted to drop by and say thank you but I know you’re closed so, I’ll just see ya—“

“Do you want a fresh cup?” You blurted out and his hand hovered on the door handle. “I brought that this morning. It’s gotta be ice by now.”

His smile was as soft as the first day you saw him. “Only if you have a cup with me.”

[forevfangirlwrites]

Hey! You've been my favorite fanfic writer since 2022 at least <3 Can you do a fic where percy is the ceo or ceo's son and annabeth is his secretary? TYSM 💞💞💞

His voice has never sounded so cold. She hadn’t thought it could get worse than what it had been. (And it had already been pretty bad.)

“Ms. Chase,” he repeats in the same tone. “I said to go retrieve the files on the—”

“Retrieve them yourself, Mr. Jackson,” she finds herself saying out loud.

“What?” He looks surprised. Good, he should know that he can’t keep getting away with this.

“I resign.” She declares before she really processes what she’s saying. And with a weird sort of detachment from the situation, she finds herself turning on her heel and walking away.

There’s a rushing sort of noise in her ears and she doesn’t process a single move she makes until she’s made it all the way back home.

She’s not even sure how she got here, but all of sudden it feels like she’s snapped back into life (or maybe just onto her couch) and she finds herself staring at her rug.

I should get a new one, she thinks absently.

With what money, her brain yells back, you just quit your job!

Oh.

Oh fuck.

She slumps back into her couch cushions. Fuck, did she really just walk out? Has she lost her mind?

“Fuuuuckkk!” she yells to her empty apartment. “Why did I do that!”

Probably because Percy Jackson has an astounding ability to strike every nerve she has. He’s the CEO’s son and acts like it, the entitled prick. It’s clear he’s never had to struggle a day in his life and the way he treats her proves it.

Look who’s struggling now, her brain says helpfully.

Still her.

She needs to sit. Wait, she is sitting. She needs to lay down, needs to do something to grasp what exactly she plans on doing after that whole debacle.

As soon as her head hits the throw pillow on her couch, exhaustion overcomes her. Who knew quitting was so much effort?

She should stay up and figure out her next move, but sleep is already creeping into her eyes and within a minute she’s out.

-.-

The first day at any job is always stressful. Especially when you’re a secretary and need to know the ins and outs of everything that goes on. It’s a lot of catch up on in one day.

Thankfully, the old secretary (both in position and age since she is retiring) is super sweet and most importantly, organized.

Her notes make the transition easier and by mid-day, Annabeth has a vague understanding.

“Now, Mr. Jackson is about to come in, so we’ll do some introductions and then you can go take your lunch,” Mo, the old secretary, explains.

Annabeth nods, understanding Mr. Jackson’s calendar and responsibilities had been the bulk of her training up until now.

She is also curious to meet the man, since she’d been hired by HR, interviewed with Mo instead of him, and still had yet to actually speak to him.

“Mo, please never schedule a meeting ever again,” his voice rings out as he turns the corner. She looks up to see him walk up to the desk. He’s looking at his phone with a frown that looks more like a pout, which is cute on its own, but when he looks up, oh…

Percy Jackon is gorgeous, looking more like an actor playing the role of a rich businessman. His jet-black hair is styled perfectly, his suit fits like a dream, and his eyes, his eyes are a brilliant sea-green that she may or may not be drowning in.

(She’s also pretty sure they’re around the same age, which does not help the whole drowning in his eyes situation.)

“Sure thing, Mr. Jackson,” Mo says with a smile. “Won’t schedule a single meeting starting tomorrow.”

“Who’s this?” he asks, eyes locked on her. He doesn’t say it in a mean tone, but it’s definitely not the warm voice he’d used to address Mo.

Mo smiles. “My replacement and your new secretary, Annabeth Chase.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Jackson,” she says, shooting him a small professional smile. He’s still looking at her but doesn’t acknowledge her introduction.

After a second too long, he nods in confirmation. Then, without saying anything, beelines for his office.

Annabeth stares after him in surprise. That had not gone as expected.

Mo frowns. “That’s not really like him. I wonder what’s going on…”

KEEP READING ON AO3

A/N: Thank you so much for the prompt! I've actually written this premise before (in a different way than this time) but it's old and when I reread the first chapter I was too embarrassed to link it here lol I hope you like how this turned out and I appreciate your support of my writing! Thank you!!

[zorilleerrant]

Namesakes

@flashfictionfridayofficial

Because I was there, Andi wants to scream, but she knows from experience it’s a hard sell. It’s not like it’s a secret. It’s not supposed to be, anyway, but the kind of person loudly correcting the professor doesn’t tend to be the same kind to check if there’s already an answer to their question, no matter how interesting a question it might be. In fact, the more interesting the question, the more they’d rather just feel correct about it. It’s her own name they’re talking about. If anyone was going to know, it would be her.

Well, actually, if anyone would know, it would be her parents. They’re the ones who picked her name, every piece of it, and gave it to her to carry with her.

She’s not sure where Andromache came from. It’s from a novel, she thinks, not one she’s read, but one her mom liked in her teenage years. A fantasy novel, she’s pretty sure, about another world, but then it could just as easily been something about aliens, or maybe even an alternate history sort of deal. It was just an oh, I’ve always liked that name, honey sort of name that her mother picked and her father loved and so they’d give her puppy eyes if she ever changed it, not that it bothered her that much after middle school.

Of course, she had bigger things to worry about, after middle school.

It’s a little bit of a tossup where the author got the name in the first place, though. Like. It is a name. She was never the first one to have it, anyway. And while it’s not exactly chart topping, she’s met a decent number over the years, most of them also named after books. People don’t really make popularity rankings for character names but, if she had to judge by her namesakes in the main cast, Andi’s pretty sure it would be a lot higher. So if they met one in person or just got inspired by another book, it’s another layer deep.

Because they could, of course, be naming the characters after Queen Andromache. That’s always a possibility. Or after some of her predecessors or some mythic figures that came before her – or were inspired by her, but that’s another turn of the wheel – and they might not even know themselves. They could see a play or hear a fun fact in school or be wandering a museum and the name just clicked, like they wanted to write it down somewhere, to name a kid or a pet or a character. It could be a suggestion from a friend. Or like. An internet poll.

She tries not to worry about whether she’s named after herself, because that way lies the madness half of her friends have succumbed to, drunkenly crying about timeloops when no one gives them any other conversation to gnaw on. If she is, and she’s not saying she is, she’s pretty sure it’s indirect enough that it doesn’t raise the hairs on the back of her neck quite so much. Anyway, she definitely didn’t have books about herself or anything, trying to live up to an ideal still in her own future.

Her surnames are easier. Those didn’t come from Queen Andromache at all.

They didn’t even seem to have that kind of name, back then. There were families with family businesses, and in that way some people seemed to have family names, but mostly people were still who lived over in the forest, and who was from this other town, and who was tall or redheaded or excitable. She was a Queen. She didn’t need an identifier.

So the fact that her mom is probably a where and her dad is probably a how has no bearing on much of anything, and especially not put together like that. Andi’s heard they had to talk long and hard about whether or not to hyphenate, but that was before she was born, and her name’s always been her own since, well, they gave it to her on her birthday. Queen Andromache got epithets, and they made their way into that, sometimes, but epithets, as far as Andi knows, never spawned any huge number of surnames. Just the occasional one that belonged more to that person than it did someone else people thought they were like.

The point being! She knows her own name – then and now – and she knows what people were likely to call her, and, honestly, all the titles and nicknames and colorful descriptors were part of the songs, and sometimes some of the history people took down. By and large they just called her The Queen. Not, like, as if it were a name. But they did address her that way.

Andi’s her own primary source, and while she’s not asking that everyone contact her about it – the couple of interviews she’s sat down for have been tedious enough – she’d like them to at least check a source. There’s a whole bunch in the syllabus and everything. And if Andi isn’t going to point out where they’re wrong or misleading, she really wishes the rest of the class could sit down and shut up.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Wonderland Kaiju!AU Worldbuilding

I've been thinking for a while, and I realized that I needed to consolidate/create an essential "worldbuilding sheet" that lists ideas for the AU that I didn't think I'd be able to properly fit into the story. I didn't think I'd be able to get MIRA to explain either since there are aspects of this AU that the researchers and Yuu wouldn't be able to find out about that easily.

Plus, this is also a good way for me to introduce some of the ideas I've discussed with some friends on a Discord server!

To make it easier to note which points are just my comments/thoughts, I've put them in bold and itallics. Other stuff that's meant to be read like a description/summary will be in normal text. I'll likely be updating this post as more ideas come to mind so I can keep track of everything, but I will be announcing whenever there's an update!

///------///

Author Note: Put into perspective, the Kaiju living in the same world as humans is akin to the movie “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” or “Journey to the Center of the Earth”. In this AU, there is a whole second world deep beneath the ocean to the point that the cavern has created its own unique weather system and developed an ecosystem that seems almost prehistoric. This is supposed to tie into the game and how Yuu is in a whole new world of magical beings, except they’re giant Kaiju!

The initial discovery of the world beneath the sea was by pure chance when it became clear that ships and airplanes had begun vanishing. By pinpointing the last known locations of the ships, they were able to discover a massive cave opening big enough to fit a large ship. Inside is a cave system of tunnels and water slides that travel deep into the earth before spitting out the lucky few who managed to survive the trip to the new ocean. Depending on the location of the opening they emerge from, the vessel may either arrive in a safe location or near the territory of massive aquatic predators. Not far from these openings, however, is the very island the story takes place.

Despite how destructive Kaiju can be, there are some who have cleared up the debris from these ships and planes. In fact, those particular Kaiju are the reason that the beach Yuu awoke near the "ship graveyard" as the beach will be nicknamed.

There are two entrances into this mysterious underground ecosystem: the cave system, and a massive whirlpool. Given its dangerous nature, ships often steer clear of it when it does form and was merely noted by the researchers as being there in favor of studying the island. The ones who discovered this secret entrance was a ship carrying poachers seeking to take advantage of the newly discovered creatures and resources on the island, only to find themselves caught in the whirlpool before arriving on the other side. Not ideal, but highly effective for sneaking past the security around the cave.

If the researchers learned of the existence of the whirlpool entrance, it would be theorized that the whirlpool formed long ago to draw water into the cavernous void beneath the crust. This would explain why it became a virtual time capsule of an ecosystem of mega fauna. Another theory is that the whirlpools form from the unstable energy created by the island itself. (A/N: It’s actually created by blot crystals lying at the bottom of the sea growing from the bones of a deceased Phantom Kaiju that had tried to escape the island to wreak havoc on the surface world but never made it out of the opening it had created. It’s quite possible that—even though the Phantom Kaiju isn’t moving—it is very much still “alive”.)

The magnetic disruption caused by the blot crystals over the whirlpool and near the cave are what essentially pulled in various aerial and sea-based vessels, which is why Yuu/Reader/MC finds the planes on the beach. One plane happened to get impaled on one of the blot crystals before it emerged on the other side, though how exactly it got on the beach is a mystery…

Blot comes in two forms: crystalline, and ooze. The crystal form—though relatively “safe”—generates a miasma fog that deters most creatures from approaching it, though it can still cause one to fall ill when exposed to the mist. Even the smallest fragment emits the miasma, making handling it difficult and dangerous. In ooze form, however, it can be unassuming and easily mistaken for tar pits at first glance. While not as numerous as the crystal form, it is by far the most dangerous. Any creature that falls into or consumes the ooze will become infected, their body slowly creating blot crystals all over their body. Once the crystals have completely overgrown on the body, the blot “controls” its new host to seek out its goal—though what it is or what it wants is unknown.

Kaiju have some form of immunity to the blot itself as it comes from the same source as their natural magic, though this does not mean they’re entirely protected. Depending on the amount of blot buildup, a Kaiju may grow sick or—in extreme cases—will be consumed by the blot and become little more than mindless husks over time. Should the latter situation happen and the infected Kaiju isn’t freed from its Overblot state, the Primal Guardians (aka the staff) have to put it down before it can escape the island and head for the surface world. (A/N: If you’ve seen Genndy Tartakovsky’s “Primal” and the episode “Plague of Madness”, that’s the general vibe of chaos and terror I’d imagine Kaiju Overblots have—minus the whole “body falling apart” deal!)

On the island itself (known as the “Night Raven Continent” due to the massive raven like formation at the top of one the mountains), crystals grow everywhere and form in greater concentrations around pools of energy located in key areas in each territory. The crystals contain strong magical energies that the Kaiju can feast on like rock candy when they require a boost, but the effects of this can be the equivalent of a “sugar crash” in terms of energy exhaustion. The pools of energy are safe for consumption, though transport of samples for research has been unsuccessful by researchers as the potency fades to little more than pure mountain water.

A/N: I wanted to find a way to include the starshards and sunshards in the game mechanics as a way for Kaiju to recharge in this AU, since the shards give you more “energy” to do exams or fight in the crafter’s gauntlet. Having there be pools of purple-blue “stardust” energy or “sunlight” energy seemed like an interesting thing to include, and I like the idea of magic glowy water! c:

A/N: The Great Seven exist in this AU, though their depictions come in the form of ancient statues scattered across the island and the very few painted murals left behind by the humans who dwelled on the island. As Kaiju, they are MUCH bigger than the current generations to the point one could literally call them “world-shapers”. The current Kaiju believe that the “Primordial Seven” were responsible for creating the underground world and all the islands within. This massive cave system goes all around the world and each have their own Kaiju and creatures (aka the Sunset Savanna, Scalding Sands, Briar Valley, etc).

Over time, researchers have begun to notice a pattern of behavior that the Kaiju will display on the continent. Every five years, most of the Kaiju will migrate to other islands far away. Given the distance and how treacherous the waters are, it’s been difficult for exploration teams to travel far enough to see these other islands. However, this migration seems to cycle through different seasons as Kaiju from other islands will visit as well. It’s unknown if this is a stop for them to rest before continuing on their way to their destination. Researchers began to call this the “Great Kaiju Migration”. In some cases, Kaiju visiting the island may exhibit nesting behavior and will have their litter/clutch. They only move on before or after their babies are able to walk and will carry them on their back. Those who have strong magic potential will be left in the care of the Primal Guardians.

Kaiju who have the potential to be strong or have a unique energy will either migrate to the island or are brought over by their parent(s) to grow and learn under the guidance of the Primal Guardians. Trein/Elderclaw is the oldest known caretaker who watched over young Kaiju, though now the mantle has been passed on to Crowley/Nevermore and Crewel/Crewelfang.

A/N: While most of the Kaiju raised on the island would be the mob students from the game, some of the main cast were also raised on the island by the staff due to being abandoned by their parent(s), given up for a better opportunity to grow, or were orphaned after losing their family to an attacking Kaiju/Phantom Kaiju. Silver, Deuce, Epel, and Ruggie are current known examples of Kaiju who were orphaned for some reason or given up by their family so they can grow and develop in an environment that can train them right. There may be others, I just haven't figured out who aside from those currently listed!

[candycryptids]

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Tangy, all Tangy, give me Tangy Lore

■ - Tangy makes her long-term stay wherever the Scions have settled- the Waking Sands, the Rising Stones, unfortunately missed out on most of The Falling Snow.. while she’s still a much smaller Miqo’te staying in the Waking Sands she insists she doesn’t need much space to sleep, and just has a bunk with a leather bag hanging off one of the posts. Granted, that bunk is piled with blankets and pillows, and she doesn’t even sleep under them; it’s all just lumpy padding for curling up on top of and snoring. (After meeting with Chuu and finding out 1) there was a way to avoid getting arrested after the Banquet fiasco and 2) she could totally be stronger. Totally. And subsequently getting… let’s call it Off-Brand-Fantasia’d, she needs a bit more space.. she stops snoring most of the time, though. Having more snout apparently makes it easier to not snore!) She doesn’t ever keep an apartment of her own, but she does sometimes trek from Revenant’s Toll to Vesper Bay to check in on the old haunt, since Urianger seems keen to Never Leave. lmao.

This gets real long so here’s a cut for the sake of the dashboards lol (good lort there’s images down there…)

✿ - She’s Asexual! In that she doesn’t feel sexual attraction towards people, but she does enjoy the act? It’s a good way to relieve stress and it’s fun exercise and it’s a nice way to bond with others.

She does, however, struggle with the ‘Oops’ part of Chuu’s ‘Fantasia’ which was giving her a body with a dick :T There’s a learning curve. (Among other curves. Wink? Sorry dndndndnfke) Also, not necessarily sex, but she probably kisses her friends. Because she cares about them! Cheek kisses, lip kisses, forehead and top of head kisses… hand kisses… Kisses :)

Yda and Tangy pose is [Glomp Tackle] with fresh expressions but the rest are all custom done ;w; oh also shader is Neneko’s Love… I think.. 🫢 it’s all the same one 🤦 I just forgot to write it down

∇- I genuinely think Tangy gets a handle on Accounting by hanging out with Tataru so much over the years. It keeps Tataru’s mind off worrying about everybody as much while they’re away on business, and Tangy gets to wrinkle her brain (this takes. Such a long time though. She’s still not reliable for it, either, but she’s passable :3) .. for a proper aging headcanon tho I think as she gets older she becomes an anchor point for the Scions like Tataru is. Sets up shop and trains young adventurers in combat and cooking and camping. Her whiskers twitch when thunderstorms are brewing. She still sometimes needs nudging from her own students on things, but it’s usually in things relating to Reading. I feel like she has pretty bad dyslexia and maybe even dyscalculia that she’s just learned to deal with.

♒- LOVES food. Loves to eat. Loves to help with cooking. Measuring ingredients for recipes is actually pretty easy since it’s not demanded exactness, it’s just “half of this cup, level this cup, just enough to cover the bottom of this pan,” like, not exact. You feel cooking with your heart. And kneading bread is an excellent and fun work out to her. Can not bake.. Kinda wishes she could. She’s just not precise enough, and she gets the order in which things have to be done mixed up, so she ends up with some pretty…. Not exactly inedible but…. 🫢 It’s not appetizing looking.. and it doesn’t taste great… She’s not a picky eater, but she hesitates to eat snails. It just makes her a little sad, cos they’re cute to her. And then she eats them anyways =w=; the chef worked hard to make this delicious meal and she’s gonna eat it! (And not eating the snails would waste their life so. Honor their sacrifice and eat them.) Her favorite food is whatever she can eat with her hands/whatever’s in front of her at the time, and any of F’lahminn’s cooking. Even if it’s burnt.

[shout out to Elio for their Dango Props they’re so cute]

Oh shit I forgot to link the [Ask Meme]

[ladyhoneydee]

this peppermint winter, this marshmallow world

Zelink | College AU | 5.8k

At the end of the second swallow, she finally opened her eyes—and caught Link in the midst of a sip of his own. Watching her. Why did the warmth in his eyes look so…different? Had he ever looked at her that way before, in all their years of friendship? Maybe it was just the glow of the streetlamp they stood beneath, transforming the snow into glittering fairy dust and the ambiance into spun gold. If they left this place, if they took their walk as planned, perhaps the clear blue moon would return them to the same light they’d always been cast in. Why did the thought of that make her chest so tight?

Written for @pastelsandpining as part of the Hateno Hideout Secret Santa! If you like the best-friends-to-lovers trope, nonverbal trans guy Link who is acting veeeery oddly all of a sudden, and confused, investigative Zelda, this one is for you.

Read it on AO3, FFN, or under the cut!

Zelda knew something was wrong with Link from a mile off. 

It didn’t matter that she was stuck behind the front desk, explaining to a frazzled-looking first year that no, they did not have any private study rooms available at this very minute, and they would have to wait twenty minutes or so until something opened up. From the moment her best friend strode into Castleton University’s Gaebora Library, his snow-dusted green beanie pulled down tight and chin tucked in low, she could tell that his mind was running a mile a minute on some topic or another. He always tended to crunch in physically when he was mentally distressed, after all. 

As the student surrendered with a grimace and set off towards the staircase—no doubt heading for one of the public sitting areas on the quiet upper floors—Link lifted his chin, and Zelda met his eyes. The whites widened, the pupils expanded. Then his gaze promptly dropped back to the laminate tiles underfoot.

Zelda’s suspicion rocketed through the ceiling, the five floors of the library over her head, and the snow-laden roof shingles high above. With the exception of particularly awkward or emotional conversations, Link had never struggled to hold eye contact with her before. Heck, they had practically lived off of staring contests back in high school. Even now, five semesters into university, new friends invariably asked if she and Link were dating based solely on how annoying about eye contact and making goofy faces at each other they were.

Still, there was no way he could actually avoid her, even if he wanted to. Not when she was on front desk duty, and the only student worker on shift who knew Hyrulean Standard Sign Language. After all, Link never came to the library to study, only to pick up books. Nonverbal as he was, it was easier to focus in a private place than somewhere people who couldn’t understand HSSL might try to talk to him. 

His fingers stuttered through her name-sign for a moment before smoothing through the rest of his words. “I have an interlibrary loan to pick up? A Walk in the Lost Woods by K.-I.-A. H-E-R-M-O-S?” His finger-spelling of the name was quick, but she’d been signing since elementary school and reading Link’s words and letters off his hands for nearly as long; it was nearly impossible to trip her up at this point. 

“Sure, I’ll just need to grab it!” Zelda’s voice brimmed with enthusiasm to cover up her suspicion. “For your Environmental Philosophy course, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah. Got an essay due next week.” 

Well, at least he was making conversation.

“Tonight is such a mess,” she complained. “I swear I’ve had five different students try to get me to find their books for them instead of just following my directions. It’s like everyone’s brain cells died over winter break.” 

A smile cracked through Link’s slight frown and downturned brows. “So now they’re killing yours in retribution, huh?”

“Mm-hm! Which is exactly why you should get us coffees from Piper’s and meet me on the quad for a walk when you’re finished studying and I’m done with my shift!” She beamed at him.

Just like that, alarm swept his face clean of the soft warmth it had held only a moment prior, and his gaze darted away from her once again. He rubbed his hands on his pants before replying, as if wiping off sweat—which was weird, given that he’d just come in from the cold, and hadn’t been wearing gloves. 

“Oh, I don’t know…”

“Come on, please?” she wheedled. “I’ll need something to resuscitate my poor, dying brain cells. And you’re my chosen hero of the hour.” She smiled in the winning, bossy way she’d learned from a childhood cultivated by a single dad who was not only a hardass entrepreneur, but also had moonlit as the president of the PTA at every public school she had attended. 

She’d learned other things from Daphnes, too. Like how to pursue a lead when something seems fishy—and how to throw someone off the scent of your true intentions until the opportune moment. 

The trick was to pick a reason that was still genuine, just not the whole truth. 

Link sighed, his gestures slowing and taking on weight to emphasize his put-upon tone. “If you insist. But— I’m bringing hot chocolate, not coffee.” Her pout was met with a stern, wolf-eyed stare. “I don’t care if you live off of caffeine. It’ll be after ten before we’re both done for the night, and I’m not dropping money on your addiction when I’ve got perfectly good cocoa mix in my dorm.”

Zelda let out a ponderous sigh of her own. “Fiiiine.” She placed her hands on her hips. “You’re no fun, you know that?”

“They say that the chosen heroes rarely were,” Link shot back, his gestures short and snippy, but punctuated with enough flair that she knew it was from sass rather than actual upset. “I’m just living up to your expectations.”

“Sure, hero.” She smirked. “Let me grab that book.”

As she swiveled her rolly chair around to scan the loan shelf for his book—Nayru’s love, did none of the other student workers this semester realize they were supposed to label the books with the requester’s name to make things easier?—Zelda mused over Link’s odd behavior. He’d brightened up, sure, but for him to hesitate over spending time together…

Well, the last time that had happened, it was right before he came out to her as trans the year they turned thirteen, and he was terrified she was going to hate him forever. 

When she spun back around, Link was fervently tapping his fingers against the wood of the front desk, expressions dancing over his features so quickly that she couldn’t make them out. He remained wordless and reticent while she checked out the green-bound hardback and passed it over, before throwing her a tight smile, waving awkwardly with his free hand, and walking out the door at an even brisker pace than usual. 

He hadn’t even paused to tuck the book away in his backpack.

…It was fine. It was. He’d been wrong back then—she could never hate him, but especially not for that —and no matter what secret feelings he was keeping close to his chest right now, he’d be wrong this time, too. She loved him too much for any other option to stick. Like snow falling on a manhole cover, any trouble between them would melt away before it had the chance to build up. 

She would make sure of it.

--

One of the downsides of working at Gaepora Library was that even at the end of the long, grueling evening shift, Zelda couldn’t leave until she’d scrubbed the floor. 

The reasoning was understandable enough, she supposed—given the building’s late hours, the CasU custodial staff were all done for the day by the time the library closed, and the slush and salt dragged into the lobby would damage the library’s century-old hardwood floor if it sat on them overnight—but that didn’t make her job any more enjoyable. The snow outside was pretty and all, and she couldn’t wait to go out in it with Link later, but did every student need to track slush in on their boots? They had a mat in front of the door for a reason!

Dimly, she noticed the clomping of winter boots approaching the front doors. Zelda glared down at the dirty rag in her hand and scrubbed even more vigorously. Surely the late visitor would notice the “CLOSED” sign she’d propped up in the front window, or the fact that nearly all the lobby lights were off, or her scrubbing the floor, and correctly assume that they should come back in the morning.

The door before her swung open. 

Zelda reared back from the sudden blast of cold. Wrath simmered in her veins, and she snapped her head up, ready to give this person a piece of her mind. 

“Excuse me, but the library is actually closed for the eve—”

Link. 

His nose was red from the chill, and his shoulders shook with mirth. Immediately, all of the frustration that had been coiling like smoke in Zelda’s lungs throughout her shift whooshed out of her with a deep sigh.

“Nice floor,” he signed. “Very clean.”

“If you step on it, I might have to kill you.” 

He laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He’d obviously stopped by his dorm since the last time she’d seen him. His rugged leather-and-canvas backpack was nowhere to be seen, and he’d swapped out his slate-blue quilted jacket for a snowquill-stuffed puffy coat. This time, he was actually wearing gloves, and his omnipresent green beanie was pulled as far over his ears as it could manage.

She smiled fondly. Some things never changed. They might be twenty and sleep-deprived from annotated bibliographies and slideshow presentations instead of ten and sleep-deprived from playing video games under the covers all night, but Link would always get cold faster than she did.

Link, unaware of the nostalgic origins of her affectionate stare, gave her a hesitant smile in return. “I left the hot chocolates outside. No food and drinks in the library, and all.” 

“Aw, you’re such a good boy,” she cooed. “You rule follower, you.”

To her surprise, he flushed redder than the ruby studs in his ears. Gloved fingers twitched wildly in the air for a moment in a clear nonvocal stutter before he pressed the tips together so hard that she almost thought she could see them quiver from the strain. 

The pause in the conversation was disjointed, alien. Like they were metronomes running on two different beats per minute, instead of the unison they’d always shared. 

“Are–are you ready to go?” he asked eventually, and Zelda’s brows shot up. Was he just not going to address his reaction? What was going on? 

At her lack of reply, his eyes darted around the lobby, and he filled the void himself. “They’re gonna get cold if you take much longer. Slowpoke.” Even the teasing insult was added on belatedly, as though he was reading off a script of their usual interactions and had nearly forgotten the last part of his line. 

Well, if he wasn’t going to be normal, she would just have to pick up his slack. 

“Oh, I’ve been ready! In all ways except the physical.” She waved the damp rag in her hand pointedly. “Give me just a minute.”

The nod Link gave her was heavy with relief, and she realized he was grateful she hadn’t called him out on his weird behavior. Well, he was going to be in for a rude awakening once they started their walk and the interrogation began. 

One rag rinsed and squeezed out, one desktop computer logged out and turned off, and one book-stuffed messenger back hauled onto her shoulder later, they were out the door. 

--

Zelda was grateful for the hot chocolate before she even took a sip. The lightweight knit gloves she kept in the pocket of her winter coat were not cutting it against the chilly wind and swirling snow. Central Hyrule wasn’t particularly known for being a cold region of Hyrule—not with places like the Mt. Nayru region of Lanayru and the entirety of Hebra as competition—but when winter settled in over the wide grasslands, it truly did settle. So when she plucked one of Link’s ceramic travel mugs off the bench, the heat that sunk into her fingers was entirely welcome. 

“They’re dark chocolate with peppermint and marshmallows,” Link signed. His gestures were harder to decipher when made one-handed, as the other was occupied with his own mug; still, after a lifetime of communicating with Link in all kinds of one- and two- and even no-handed situations, she could parse them rather well. “I made them both the same so that you wouldn’t have to make any decisions. Or complain if I made the decision.”

“Aw, you’re so kind. The great hero, saving me from my own agency.” She sent him a sly look.

“Hey, how many times have you texted me just to ask me to pick something for you out of decision fatigue at the end of a long day?”

“Too many to count.” She nudged him in the side gently. “I am grateful for that, truly.”

“Oh, I know.” His elbow bumped her in return. “Now drink your hot chocolate, you mooch.”

“ Yeah, your mooch,” she shot back, and took a sip. 

If she’d been looking at Link at that instant, she might have seen how his lips parted and trembled at her words. But Zelda’s eyelashes had fluttered closed from pleasure the moment the sweet, minty richness hit her tastebuds, and the moment passed, unseen.

“Mmmmm, that’s the stuff.” Unconsciously, she poked her tongue out to collect the scant remaining droplets of chocolate from her lips, before going back in for another greedy gulp. The warmth, the velvety texture of half-melted marshmallows slipping into her mouth, the cool echo of mint that lingered even after the sip was gone—it was like a green firework going off in her mouth, cascading sparks of comfort all the way down to her stomach.

At the end of the second swallow, she finally opened her eyes—and caught Link in the midst of a sip of his own. Watching her. 

Why did the warmth in his eyes look so…different? Had he ever looked at her that way before, in all their years of friendship? 

Maybe it was just the glow of the streetlamp they stood beneath, transforming the snow into glittering fairy dust and the ambiance into spun gold. If they left this place, if they took their walk as planned, perhaps the clear blue moon would return them to the same light they’d always been cast in.

Why did the thought of that make her chest so tight?

“How are the brain cells?” Link signed.

“Huh?” She blinked, owl-eyed. 

He laughed. “Okay, so they’re obviously not—” His hands fluttered in the air for a moment. “Oh, what was the word you used before…”

“Resuscitated.” She narrowed her eyes.

He ignored it. “That’s it! Resuscitated. Obviously your brain cells haven’t been resuscitated yet.”

“I think your presence might be killing them off, actually.”

“Well, I can always leave if that’s what you’d prefer…” His words were lighthearted, but something glittered in his eyes. Something that turned her stomach and reminded her what, exactly, they were there for.

“No!” She flinched back at her own outburst and thought fast. “I mean, no, obviously I don’t want you to leave. What I want is to go on a walk with you through the Green.”

“The Green?” If she hadn’t been watching him so closely, she might have missed him nervously biting his lower lip. “I thought you said the quad. And I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go all the way out there. I mean, it’s going to get pretty cold tonight.”

“The cold front isn’t supposed to blow in until midnight, actually. I checked the weather earlier. It’ll be totally fine—no more snow or cold than we’re already getting.”

Link looked up, but the sky was inscrutable. It was impossible to tell if the clouds above were thick and heavy with snow or light and mobile; if they were on their way out or if more lurked on the horizon. His brow furrowed.

“Besides, I can always keep you warm myself,” Zelda joked. It was a quip long-familiar for them—their friendship had always been one of touchy-feely affection—but instead of the habitual glomping hug or taking of her hand, Link only gave her that same frightened rabbit stare.

“Or not.” She laughed awkwardly. “Again, the weather shouldn’t be a problem anyhow. Even for you.”

“Ha, ha,” he signed sarcastically, and she could have collapsed with relief. “Make fun of me for having a normal response to abnormal temperatures.”

“It’s my solemn duty as your best friend to make fun of you,” she said through a cheeky grin.  “So? Are you in?”

Link sighed, and it was like she was seeing the action in double: the put-upon, overdramatic performance, and the actual release of trepidation it concealed. “...Yeah. Yeah, of course I’m in. Always.”

Always, even if the whole evening had been strange and discombobulated so far. Zelda took a deep breath and let it out. They would get through this, no matter what was churning inside his head and spilling out like steam over a hot spring. It was him and her. Zelda and Link. Always.

“Perfect.” She smiled at him, softer than the gently falling snowflakes. “Shall we?”

“Yeah,” he said, and the smallness and lightness of his motions let Zelda know her feelings were reciprocated. “Let’s take a walk.”

--

The Green was the closest thing CasU had to a nature reserve. It must have had some sort of official name, but Zelda hadn’t looked at a map of campus in years, and every student she’d ever heard talking about the place just called it the Green. Even the professors and administration did, as if they realized that no one would know what they were referring to unless they adopted the students’ language. 

But regardless of what one called the hundreds of acres of green space that hugged the entire western border of campus, a walk on one of the well-trodden footpaths along the river, through the woods, or across the meadows was always an enjoyable way to spend a few hours. Between Link’s Outdoor Education major, Zelda’s multitude of Biology internships, and the hours the pair had spent avidly mapping every trail themselves during their first semester, they both practically had the land memorized. 

Still, it was only practically, never wholly, because there was always something new to see. 

Even with three years at CasU under her belt, the Green’s beauty in winter never failed to strike her. Although it might have benefitted from a temporary renaming, given how everything besides the tall, old conifers sprinkled amongst the leafless oaks, maples, and aspens was blanketed in pure white snow. The branches criss-crossing over their heads were completely coated, as if the goddesses had dipped them in marshmallow fluff for a wintry treat. 

“It looks completely different,” Link signed. He took a sip of his hot chocolate. 

Zelda had to agree. The last time they’d hiked through the Green—nearly a month ago now, between finals, winter break, and the hectic first week back—a chaotic mess of decaying leaves had carpeted the forest floor, and they’d had to watch their step or risk tripping over a well-camouflaged root. The soil had been wet and slick beneath their feet from rain, and sprinkled through the tussocks of browning grass crumbled huge, frost-blackened mushrooms. Now, the whole world glittered beneath the silver rays of the half-moon, illuminating dozens of squirrel, rabbit, bird, and deer tracks that ran beneath the tree trunks—tracks that could only have been laid since the snow began falling, less than an hour ago. 

How strange, that the season of death felt more lively than the long, damp months that preceded it. 

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. She wasn’t sure why. The hush just felt right. 

When Link looked over at her, eyes soft and wide with wonder, and nodded, she knew he felt it too. 

They reached a split in the path, a familiar crossroad. Left would take them further into the woods; right would take them to the meadows on the northeastern edge of the Green, before curving back in the direction of campus proper. 

She turned to Link once again. “What do you think? Right?”

“Wrong,” Link joked. “Nah, totally, let’s go to the meadows. It’ll be easier to get back to our dorms from there anyway.”

“It’ll be nice to see how they look, too, with the snow. By morning all the skiers will be out, and it won’t be nearly as pretty.” Zelda grinned good-naturedly. ‘All the skiers’ often included Link and Zelda in their numbers, after all. 

They swung off to the right, pointing out how the makeup of the forest changed as they got closer and closer to the meadows. When they both finished their final swigs of cocoa, marshmallows glazing pillowy sweetness down their throats, Zelda offered to stow their travel mugs away in her backpack. After all, Link had made them himself in his ceramics studio last year; it wouldn’t do for them to break! 

Still, even when the heat from the mug in her hands was gone, Zelda felt warm down to her core.

Books always said that winter was quiet, but Zelda couldn’t help but feel that was exactly wrong. It always felt, to her, like more. Brighter, with the snow reflecting the moonlight back up to dazzle their retinas and aid their journey. Freer, with the song of the wind more obvious as the fresh powder muffled any of the typical forest sounds. Sweeter, with the clean crispness of snowfall settling on the tongue. The beautiful more ness of it all filled her up, until she felt just shy of bursting with contentment.  

And then they crossed into the open air with its swirling snow and stars, and something in her chest, something brilliant and winged and joyful, rose and broke free of its tether.

Her head tipped back and her mouth opened wide and she drank in the moonlight, the starlight, the north wind. Arms flung wide to embrace the night. She twirled, twirled, twirled, basking in the coldbright good until it blurred into streaks and her dancing feet stumbled their way into a deep, clinging snowbank and she tripped—

Arms around her. Warm but not warm; body heat covered up by a wind-chilled shield. Soft but not soft; sturdy compactness muffled by puffy down. Her body was motionless, but her vision spun like the orbit of some wild planet. Its sun: the green beanie. 

“Nice catch,” she said breathlessly. “Have you considered sports?”

One hand lingered on her still-swaying waist, holding her steady. The other lifted to her cheek, its touch tender. His woolen glove itched as it traced letter-signs against her cold skin.

“D-U-M-M-Y.”

“Rude.”

With a deliberately hard blink, her vision finally stopped spinning. Link’s face was before her: nose and cheeks ruddy from the cold, bemused smirk on his lips. It was strange to be staring up at him for once. She hadn’t done that since they were eleven, when she shot up like a beanpole and didn’t stop growing until halfway through high school. 

Noticing the change in her gaze, Link retracted his hand from her cheek, instead hovering it between them where she could make out his signs. “You know, spinning around like you did when we were little is a lot more dangerous now than it was then. Kids have way stronger bones.”

“I drink my milk, thanks. Lon Lon Ranch is coming in clutch for my bones.”

He gave her a deadpan look. “Sure you do. Because I’ve definitely seen you get milk at the cafeteria even once in the last two and a half years.”

“Well…there was milk in the hot chocolate, right?” She raised a brow at him.

“Nope. Box mix and water.” His stare was positively gloating.

“You’re awful.”

“ Yeah, your awful,” he said, and then, as if the terrible, adorable pun had flipped a switch in his brain, his jaw went slack and his eyes bugged. Zelda had about one second to get her feet beneath her before he dropped his arms and stepped back so abruptly that she would’ve fallen again, had she not felt the tension seize his every muscle. 

As it was, she still stumbled. Her jaw clenched, but she forcibly relaxed it before meeting Link’s gaze again. 

In the time it took her to recover, he’d taken two steps back, a distance that yawned between them like an abyss between their feet. His arms were wrapped tightly around his stomach, as if he was about to be sick—or protecting his soft, squishy bits from a nearby threat.

“I think it’s time to tell me what’s going on,” Zelda said, voice soft but clear.

Link was already shaking his head. She waited for his hands to rise into place, for him to uncurl his hedgehog self and speak, even if it was a no, but they didn’t.

“Link, it’s obvious that something is wrong. You’ve been acting wei—” She cut herself off; reconsidered. “... different all night. I’m not judging you, I’m worried. You’re my best friend. I want to help you, if it’s something I can help with.”

The head-shaking slowed, then gradually ceased. He peeled his arms free from his torso. When his gaze met hers, her heart twinged at how ashamed he looked, with his shiny eyes and the redness of his face that she knew surpassed what the cold alone could do to his skin. 

“Do you promise you won’t judge me? Or get mad?”

“I promise,” she vowed. “And Link,” she smiled at him gently, “if you think I would judge you for anything, you’re ignoring thirteen years of experience.”

He let out a juddering sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay. Okay. So the thing is…” His gestures trailed off. He tried again. “The thing is…it’s…I…”

“You can plan what you want to say first,” Zelda murmured. “No hurry, as long as I do get to know it eventually.”

He nodded jerkily, gaze settling on the churned-up snow between them. When his hands began twitching in loose, tiny gestures, Zelda turned her own gaze to the sky to give him privacy. 

The snow had begun falling faster since they’d begun their walk through the Green. She could hardly see the constellations between the shadows of the clouds above. The Ocarina, the Hero of Winds, the Chosen Lovers—all her favorites were out of sight. She could barely make out the three stars that formed the belt of the Princess of Light. 

A tap on her shoulder. She looked over at Link, whose face looked a little more settled, a little less panicked. 

“I’m ready now,” he signed. The motions were steadier, and she felt the tension in her unknot the tiniest bit. They were Link and Zelda. They’d be okay. 

She nodded encouragingly. 

“You’re right that there’s something wrong,” he started. “Wrong with—with me. At least I think it’s with me, because there’s nothing you’ve done wrong that would have done this, at least I don’t think so, I can’t think of anything, but—” 

He cut himself off, dropping his hands fully back to his sides before raising them again. 

“There is something wrong with me. When I’m with you. It started…” His gaze left hers and focused on the stars above, remembering. “I think it started during finals week. That night we pulled the all-nighter. I thought it was just because of how tired I was…but then it happened over winter break, at the solstice bonfire. And it’s only gotten worse since then.”

Zelda’s heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Nothing wrong with her, yet it only happened when he was in her company? A gust of wind rocked them both, and for a split second, she wished it would carry her away.

“I just feel so…so weird,” he burst out, hands flying into bigger shapes than they had all night. “Whenever we’re together. My heart beats so hard, and I feel it everywhere. And my knees get all shaky, and my hands get all shaky—which really sucks when you need your hands to communicate, by the way—and my brain gets all fuzzy, and my stomach churns.”

Oh. Oh, he was…

“And it makes me feel awful, because you don’t deserve me acting so weird with you, but sometimes you get close, or you say things that just make–make it stronger, and I just can’t help it!” He shook his head wildly. “I think I must be sick or something!”

Her heart thrummed in her chest at the same time as she had to bite back a laugh. She’d been worried all this time, and all along, he’d—

“Link,” Zelda said carefully. “I don’t think you’re sick.”

“Yeah?” He looked hopeful. “What do you think it is?”

“Well…” How to phrase this delicately? “Do you remember Malon? From high school?”

“Of course! I mean, she was my first girlfriend, how could I forget her?”

“And do you remember how you felt when you two first got together?”

“Yeah, being with her always made my heart…flutter…” He broke off, and Zelda could see the gears start turning in his head, spinning faster than even the snowflakes falling thickly around them.

No turning back now.

“Link…have you ever considered that you might…love me romantically?”

The denial was immediate, words flying from his fingers. “I can’t like you! We said we’d never date back in, like, middle school!”

Her chest swelled with fond amusement at the silliness of the rebuke.

“Link, that was almost a decade ago. We’re completely different people now. Way smarter, emotionally competent, physically attractive people. ” She grinned teasingly. “You had that terrible haircut that made you look like a coconut back then, of course I wouldn’t date you.”

“A coconut,” he repeated, gestures spiky with his derision. “Like yours was much better! You had that little pageboy cut for years.”

“Yeah, and as my best friend, it’s really your fault that I looked so bad for so long. You really should’ve warned me.” 

“My fault! You—” He broke off. After a couple of moments, he continued, gestures smaller. “You mentioned my hair, but…isn’t it also, you know, because of your sexuality?”

Zelda laughed. “I wasn’t even fourteen yet when we made that pact. I don’t think I even knew what a sexuality was.”

“No, I mean…” He scuffed his foot into the snow. “Now. You wouldn’t be into me now, because, you know.”

Zelda’s brows furrowed. “No, I really don’t. Can you be a little more clear?”

“Because…you’re straight?”

She blinked. That was not what she had expected him to say. “Link, that means I like men. You are a man. Of course I could be into you.” 

Link blinked at her as if she had just delivered an entire lecture on the precise chemical makeup of the secretions of tireless frogs and their utilization in the pharmaceutical industry. “I…yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” A smile spread over his face, slow and steady, until he was positively beaming. “You’re right! You could be into me!” He froze. “Wait, but are you into me? You already know how I feel, so…”

“‘Know?’ I practically figured it out for you,” she teased, then took a deep breath. “To be honest, I haven’t thought about it before, because I’ve been so happy to be your best friend. I’d have been happy to be that for you forever, as long as I was by your side. But you…seriously, Link, if you’d want to give us a shot romantically, I’d be so down for that.”

“Really?” he asked, starry-eyed.

“Yes,” she answered simply. “It’s another way to get to know you, to be close to you. To be happy with you.” She shuffled her feet. “I love you, Link, and I’d love to love you even more. Why wouldn’t I want to take that chance?”

The smile he gave her warmed her right down to her frosty toes. The two paces that had separated them for the entirety of their conversation disappeared in a flash, as he clumsily crossed the snow between them. 

“I could be your best friend forever, too,” he told her, “but I’d also like to be able to make out with you.” 

One hand reached up to cup her face, and Zelda tilted her chin down until their cold-reddened noses brushed. 

Nayru’s love, if Link’s heart had been hammering like this every time they’d touched for the last month, he was even more of an oblivious dummy than she thought.

But he was her oblivious dummy. Platonically, romantically. Eternally.

“We should get a start on that, then,” she murmured, watching his eyelashes flutter at the feeling of her breath on his face. “Time’s a-ticking. Snow’s a-blowing.”

Link let out a wordless groan, shifting the hand that cupped her cheek to instead twine demandingly through the hair at her nape, and signed rapidly with his free hand. “Gods, I love that smart mouth of yours.”

She wasn’t sure which one of them moved first, if it was Link’s hungry mouth or her own that bridged the gap. Whoever it was, it led to an intoxicating, insistent push-and-pull; the sharp press of Link’s teeth against her bottom lip; the sensation of the smooth muscle of his mouth as she traced her tongue along his own. 

He tasted of chocolate, peppermint, and marshmallow. Sweet and warm and familiar, just like him. 

Her best friend.

Link.

When they pulled apart, gasping for breaths that stung their lungs with the chill, she could feel that same fluttery something from earlier whirling in her chest, ablaze with joy. 

“That was…” she breathed. 

“Yeah,” Link agreed. His eyes were half-lidded, heavy with desire, as they traced over her face. “It was.”

“We should do it again, as soon as possible.” Zelda pressed a kiss to the lobe of his ear, tugging the ruby stud there softly with her teeth and luxuriating in his ragged gasp. How glad she was that Link had never chosen to let the holes close over; that he could look in the mirror and see how they suited the him he was now, rather than who he’d been when they were first done. 

“I think I’d rather—” he signed, and the shapes were fuzzy with the shaking of his hands, “—do it again somewhere warm.”

It was so unexpected, Zelda couldn’t help but release his ear in a full-body laugh. There was her Link, her precious, lovely, cold-hating Link. 

He’d continued despite her fit of giggles, although a smile had curved the corners of his mouth as well. “Seriously, you said the cold front wasn’t coming in yet, so what’s this?” He gestured at the snow whirling around them, which admittedly was coming down rather hard. And maybe the wind blowing in from the north was a little strong. 

“I never claimed to be a meteorologist,” Zelda sniffed. “And…didn’t I say I’d keep you warm?”

“Not warm enough!” Link dodged as she attempted to brush her icy nose into his warm neck. “Hey! Keep that thing to yourself!” 

As she chased him down the path that would take them back to campus, laughing wildly and stumbling where the drifts were too deep, Zelda couldn’t help but grin. The magic spell hadn’t broken when they left the streetlamp after all: they had kindled it all by themselves. It didn’t matter where they were. At his side, every flurry could be fairy dust.

It was him and her. Zelda and Link. 

Always.

[dirtbra1n]

well since you obviously said it isn't a trap! what are your thoughts on hirano and sasaki :)

so it was a trap in the end. surprise! it’s just that it was supposed to be like a pit trap and it still is one just stupid deep. I’ve been in this pit for so long. sorry for leaving you waiting. it’s been ruminating for this long now and my thoughts aren’t organized to begin with so we Might as well just get on with it

tldr Tfw you and your best friend are queer at the same time and are sort of constantly orbiting around one another about it in weird liminal space where you’re simultaneously telling each other everything but never saying something

so I don’t know if you’ve gotten the chance to read the sasamiya first years novel yet highly recommend it Sound of the summer. but there was. like. an unprecedented amount of stuff in there that gutted me. like the last chapter. here’s the chapter image by the way

psychological warfare on me specifically. just Look I’ll bold the highlights:

He wants to pull himself up, I thought. He just hasn’t found anything to give him that push.

Not that it was any business of mine.

“Sun’s pretty high in the sky by now. There shouldn’t be any direct sunlight on your desk this time of day,” I said. “You came all the way to school. As long as you have the chance to make the effort, why not make it?”

With that encouragement, Sasaki got to his feet, swaying slightly. As I watched him brush the dust off his uniform, I decided to suggest to the Disciplinary Committee that we should make sure this area got swept periodically. We wouldn’t want any part of the school, even one off-limits to students, to look grimy.

“Mmm… Well, I guess I could handle one worksheet. If you’ll help me, Hirano.” The way he still seemed completely harmless was almost funny.

“Yeah, I’ll help you. If you really have it with you. If you don’t, then go talk to the teacher and get another copy before lunch is over.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I almost cracked a smile at the sense of friendliness he exuded. “You should only say ‘yeah’ once. Break’s over in five minutes, you know. You could stand to look like you’re sweating it a little.”

This time, Sasaki drew it out into a single “yeeeah.” He started down the stairs, and I fell into step beside him. “Hey, give me your phone number,” I said softly, rushing it out.

“You?” he said, apparently not expecting that at all.

I was surprised to discover I felt a rush of embarrassment. I kept my eyes determinedly forward. “It’s a pain in the ass not being able to get ahold of you.” It felt funny, looking after a guy my own age like this, but I couldn’t stop myself. I figured getting Sasaki’s contact info now would make it easier if I needed something with him in the future.

Sasaki Shuumei.

My first impression was that he did things by the seat of his pants. My second—that he was a lot of trouble.

for my own peace of mind. will largely copy-paste what I’ve already said

like. how else do I say that this feels like. pre-romance. you’d think it’s WEIRD for these two. but there’s still that feeling. that hirano feels drawn to look after sasaki in like EXACTLY the same way he felt drawn to look after kagi. the like. “Hey, give me your phone number,” I said softly, rushing it out. sasaki sweeping dust off himself and hirano getting the idea to suggest the disciplinary committee sweep EVERYWHERE. with that underlying feeling of I don’t want you to get dirty. seeing where sasaki is, not wanting to move forward, and wanting (quietly, subconsciously) to help him with it. Maybe we were supposed to be having this conversation.

like what’s WITH that. why does it FEEL LIKE THAT

like part of it totally is the whole I have feelings for you I have feelings for you too (the feeling they’re both feeling is friendship) but it’s ALSO. ITS SOMETHING ELSE TOO. and it’s SO interesting to bite into because this novel like. very suddenly threw at us this different angle at which to view the relationships we’re already familiar with. and without even knowing it hirano and sasaki’s friendship—which was ALREADY liable to tear me asunder—was actually EVEN MORE LOADED with things to blow my dick clean off No don’t leave that in.

like we knew already that hirano’s this diligent kind of guy, but he gets this task that he feels is absolutely not his fucking job (tell sasaki to turn in a worksheet) and then he, like. gets pissy about it Yeah but also takes it exactly as seriously as you’d EXPECT him to. he complains about not feeling full at lunch even on a regular gym day, but he ate fast to have more time. to look for sasaki. he looked in every typical playing-hooky kind of space in the school, physically moving up the school, floor by floor, as he searched. and then he’s out of places. except for the school roof, which is locked, but he gets suspicious and goes to check anyway.

Ogasawara said Sasaki hates the heat. From that perspective, the stairway looked like a cozy hole in the ground.

I pushed aside the whiteboard proclaiming that the roof was for “authorized personnel only” and took a hesitant step onto the stairs. I worked my way up to the landing, doing my damnedest not to make a sound. I turned and saw someone.

“There you are!” I sighed.

Sasaki was at the uppermost part of the staircase. The door to the roof was indeed locked, and the only window that let any light in was far away. Sasaki was sitting in a shadowy spot, leaning against the cool wall, listening to music.

“Oh,” he said, his eyes drifting open. His ya-caught-me expression seemed out of place on the dusty staircase. It was the disinterested reaction of a guy who just didn’t care about school.

“The hell are you doing here?” I said. Had he really been sitting there all day? Didn’t his butt get sore?

Sasaki slid off his headphones and gave me a questioning look. “Er, Hirano, right? Whatcha need?”

He remembers my name? That surprised me. Maybe my golden hair gave it away.

“What do I need? To tell you that you have to turn in a worksheet for Modern Literature today. You’re the only one who hasn’t.”

Only then did it occur to me that it would have been far more efficient just to have Ogasawara send him a text. I’d been asked to tell him to turn in the worksheet, but I wasn’t ordered to collect it from him. Still, it was true that I was concerned about his “flying by the seat of his pants” approach to life. Maybe we were supposed to be having this conversation.

and really when you read the entire chapter with this understanding of its Weirdness you’ll notice all these various ways hirano has noticed things about sasaki (“No wonder he always seemed to be eating bread at lunch.”) and it’s just like. Where do we go from here.

and then you look at early hirakagi and sasaki’s subtitle is “The Classmate” and it’s BEWILDERINGLY FUNNY

like this is hysterical to me. you share this strangely intimate moment with this guy you feel drawn to look after despite everything and then after that he’s not even your friend yet.

we see what the beginning of their friendship looks like, we see how invested hirano is in sasaki’s just. everything! we see how much he sees sasaki (apathetic, placid, a couple steps from delinquency, though he’s not moving towards it) and we see how much he WANTS sasaki to get past it!!! and then they aren’t even friends yet. because hirano is unbeatably weird about his relationships with all people. what the hell is wrong with you hirano taiga. I love you.

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN GETTING INTO THE WAY SASAKI GETS ABOUT HIRANO.!!!!! because just. god I think the reason I was putting this off is because it makes me want to cry. We all remember this scene right

because I remember. think I could probably get whacked over the head with a fire extinguisher, get amnesia’d, and still remember this scene in blinding detail. have I said already that I’m insane. I went on this big long tangent in sunnnfish’s tags about it one time, and I’m gonna quote myself on that:

the way sasaki who even now at this point in time is generally apathetic and walled off from emotion / who is walking with a friend of his who also generally isn’t much for externalizing how he feels / sees an aspect of that friends life that he hardly sees / and thus sees an aspect of that FRIEND he hardly sees / and that aspect is. it’s so. / like i’m losing my grip on this framing / sasaki knows hirano to be kind of a hardass and stick in the mud / and all of a sudden out of nowhere hirano is like Head back without me and sasaki / who until that moment hadn’t been paying attention. had therefore been observing and feeling nothing / looks up and sees. hirano doing something so (to sasaki) UN-hiranolike / because of kagi. and sasaki has to notice that. because he and hirano are friends. and sasaki is someone who notices things

the much shorter quote that sums up my feelings on this scene just about as well is as follows: LIKE GOD. LOOK AT SASAKI’S EYES. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN / DON’T YOU?

like you. I have to collect myself this is so embarrassing I hate you sasaki shuumei….. <- lie YOU GET THESE PIECES AND START PUTTING THEM TOGETHER. that their friendship started at the top of a stairwell that was kind of like a cozy hole in the ground, and hirano saw the sasaki there that was kind of just. not in a place to care! and he reached out to him in his pissy hardass way and asked shyly for his number and agreed to help with his work and started this process that got sasaki to. HERE!!!! they weren’t friends until somehow someway sometime they were and when hirano tells sasaki to go back without him he placidly agrees until he sees what hirano is doing and he gets this look in his eyes and it’s. I think I subconsciously know to avoid talking about sasaki because I can’t ever help but get unbearably emotional.

they’re just

they’re friends. and they care about each so much and the jump from their first year first-contact fucking. rendezvous in the stairwell leading to the roof, where it’s just them two in a place where neither of them is supposed to be, where hirano still resolves to keep it clean. which could mean nothing. to their second year where you can just look at sasaki’s eyes and glean something beyond words that has permanently ruined my life. to their third year where they’re so easy and comfortable and hirano smiles easily and with affection and sasaki has grown into someone who would be a stranger to first year hirano, but not an unwelcome one. you just. you have to get it! you have to understand!

so hey. we’ve made it this far in. right? we have. so can I please just

hirano sees sasaki, wants to help him despite being the same age -> sasaki, two years later, undeniably friends with this guy who he can be deeply himself with, wants help with something, sees hirano, notices how focused in on his own work he is, probably puzzles together how worn out he’s gotta be, and resolves not to ask for it.

we’ve made it this far in together, right? so I’ll do you the favor of not drawing this comparison to kagi even though I kind of want to, both for your sake but mostly for mine. because it might kill me to put those words together and I need to wipe my eyes AGAIN I HATE YOU SASAKI SHUUMEI!!!!!!!! <- liar

but there’s this thing that is so so evident through hirakagi specifically where you see sasaki seeing something and resolving to hold onto it for hirano’s sake. sasaki sees how worn out hirano is and refuses to put more stress on him. sasaki sees hirano interacting with roommate-kun and makes up his mind to keep as many of those details from miyano as possible.

he just cares. sasaki just cares.

so now this If you thought I was being weird before. man. let me quote myself again

like. it . these two. it almost feels like sasaki is thinking about miyano just to remind you that the weirdness here is totally Not something we should be latching onto. like sasaki SHOULD know already that miyano would NOT want him hunching over. but how else would we get THIS

what is with sasaki and hirano and this FEELING.

sasaki’s own line of ellipses. I mean, it’s not like you’re short or anything. Oh. But then Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

WHAT IS WITH SASAKI AND HIRANO AND THIS FEELING.

@sunnnfish comments here on the liminality, “a special space where time and space feel weird. Almost like it shouldn’t exist”

a couple steps to the left

like sasaki and miyano.. they don’t really get all that many liminal moments. and hirano and kagi get their moments but they’re like. MOMENTS. but sasaki and hirano…… every one of them, it feels like, when they’re alone, just the two of them. every one of them has that liminal feeling where everything’s weird, and you’re speaking around this impossible SOMETHING in your mouth, sat on your tongue, not going anywhere, and your words come out sort of jumbled for it. your brain tunes it out, thoughts about this and that, anything else, but the busyness just serves to emphasize that space on your tongue that is being taken up by….. whatever it is. like an x-ray, what’s being seen through and what isn’t.

…

like this moment where it’s just them and liminality is inescapable, they HAVE to talk about roommate-kun and he HAS to think about miyano. they have to. just a couple steps to the left, but this isn’t that. Oh. But Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

I’m a rotten husk, if you couldn’t tell. going to take one more second on that FUCKING. LINE because there’s something about it to me.

S: You of all people?

H: Huh?

S: Oh, no…

S: ………

S: I mean, it’s not like you’re short or anything. Oh. But then Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

his demeanor, his nine point ellipses, scratching the back of his head. then he thinks about kagi and draws the comparison. I’m gonna be sick I think actually

and then sunnnfish threw a right hook re: recontextualizing hirano’s They really have gotten close… …… Well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with that.

SF: … it’s like. In our canon universe that Not shifted a little to the left Hirano watches Sasaki evolve so much. Because of Miyano. Sasaki rather suddenly became such a close friend of his who he actively wants to see get better and find purpose and he sees him find that. At least a little. Even though he’s still apathetic he has more pep in his step. And there’s something there in all of that too. Just. Watching your best friend fall in love and change. That’s like it’s own kind of fucked up. Especially considering on some level he wanted to be the one to help sasaki. But he’s also happy that sasaki seems happier. I’m getting lost in the sauce I feel

DB: NO YEAH YOURE GETTING ME THERE

so I’ll drag back the tldr. sasaki and hirano have a really queer friendship and it’s a pang through the heart if you’re at all like me. number one secret third thing of my heart, because they’re actually really mundane and their friendship is so liminal and. look when I say. okay I’m gonna say something. their friendship is kind of romantic. just not necessarily in a romantic way. okay? all right.

one last. Let me sort of quote myself one last time I promise

sasaki too this GUY…. like of course I like the sasaki sasaki is with miyano. he’s everything to me even. but I think part of this secret third thing with hirano is like. the clear shot of the sasaki that. well not everyone sees him this way, tashiro thinks he’s scary. and ogasawara is gonna have a different view of him too because they’ve known each other for a few years now. but hirano went looking for him—when he realized HIMSELF that he literally could have just had ogasawara SEND HIM A TEXT—he went looking for him and found him in that stairwell that he was NOT supposed to be in and spoke to him, like he was maybe SUPPOSED to, and he sees this clear shot of the sasaki that is so. quiet friendly lonely and kind, a little timid and reclusive and aimless but not for lack of WANTING to pull himself up. this sasaki. and hirano gets a little short with him but he also wants to help him, wants to help pull him up, or at least help him WANT to pull himself up, wants to look after him

they’re weird and they care about each other so so so so sooooo so much because they’re friends. and sometimes they’re weird about each other. which is super normal. but as much as I’m waving my hands around clarifying this and that I’m standing by my initial statement with the stairwell. that was a really romantic framing. all right? okay.

I’m giving you a ladder out of the pit trap now. thank you very much for asking you’re a real good sport for that

[juliafied]

Face to Face

Chapter 4: When You're Smiling and Astride Me

Fandom: Hades

Pairing: Thanatos/Zagreus

Rating: Mature

Chapter(s): 4/5

Words: 8765

AO3

Summary:

Thanatos can’t remember the last time he went on a date that wasn’t with his email inbox, so Charon sets about rectifying the situation by making him a profile on a dating app. Sifting through guys who fish and tourists looking for one night stands, Thanatos comes across his childhood best friend, who he hasn’t spoken to since their strange parting as teenagers. Thanzag modern AU, online dating.

It would have been easier if Thanatos had changed. If he’d become full of himself, like the stereotype of the successful finance guy that he is, or if he’d become one of those weird conspiracy theorists that have been cropping up all around lately. That is, if their friendship had been one of convenient proximity and not of genuine connection.

But he’d been just the same. Self-deprecating, dry yet somehow still affectionate, quick to fluster at Zagreus’ teasing. Exactly as they’d been as kids, climbing with their sandwiches to the top of the hill overlooking the ancient ruins in their neighbourhood, laughing at the tourists with their funny hats and single-use cameras. Just a little taller. Better-spoken, maybe. No longer nervously tossing too-long bangs out of his eyes. He wishes… he wishes he’d asked him about the last seven years, about something other than a college fling that had clearly meant so little that Thanatos had barely remembered the guy’s name. About who he spends time with on the weekends, and if he has a favourite coffee shop closer to work. If he still likes to read everything he can get his hands on. Whether he's been in love.

Achilles nudges him out of his thoughts – the stranger has bought the three of them shots. “You alright, lad?”

“Not sure,” Zagreus says truthfully as the bartender expertly flips his bottle of tequila and fills three shot glasses to the brim. Achilles’ admirer flashes a smile in their direction that doesn’t extend to Zagreus. They’re passed three limes by the bartender, and a moment and a ‘cheers’ later, the alcohol has burned its way to a warm place in Zagreus’ stomach.

He watches as Achilles leans in close to yell in the stranger’s ear, whose hand has migrated to the back of the barstool, thumb grazing Achilles’ shoulder periodically, and this annoys him, though Zag’s not sure why. He finishes his other drink that’s mostly melted ice at this point, but the guy behind the bar is busy again, so he thumbs through the menu. Checks his phone – an email’s come in, from Athena thanking them for their hard work on the grant they’d submitted this afternoon, and a text that’s an overly formal but expected request for a catch up lunch from Meg. He swears she must have a reminder in her calendar. First Friday of the month, check on Zagreus. Scheduled, just like everything else in her life. He slides his phone back in his pocket just in time to order another drink, and before long a margarita is in front of him, ice-cold and beading with condensation. By the time he finishes it, Achilles’ new friend’s hand has made it off the back of the chair and onto Achilles’ waist. Zagreus scowls and taps him on the shoulder.

“Should we dance?”

The booze is thick and heavy in his limbs as they make their way slowly to the most densely-packed part of the club, closest to the speakers and the dense, hard bass that slams into Zagreus’ heart with every beat. He’s not a very good dancer, but Achilles is, moving with ease, catching more than a few eyes around him. Zagreus can’t say he’s never thought about it before, especially back when he first joined the lab, assigned to be mentored directly by basically a demigod in a dress shirt. Even now, as Achilles tosses his hair and shoots a smile over his shoulder, there’s a twinge of something in the pit of Zag’s stomach.

And that’s when he spots him.

Keep reading on AO3

[simphellscape]

losing all of it // our fans // next | tw: cursing

“Uh… hello?”

“(Y/N)! Hi! I’m here with Mikasa, Jean, and Connie, Cannibal’s new guitarist.”

Everyone greets you all at once, happily mumbling over one another.

It seemed weird to you that Armin called you in the first place. The last conversation the two of you had didn’t necessarily seem like an invitation for friendship on either end. However, your personal mission to end the controversy surrounding LOVESICK! is at a standstill. Eren has been missing in action for days; he never even read your message. You were hoping Armin could shed some light on the situation. Now, hearing all the voices on the other line, you are filled with a potent anxiety.

“Woah, uh, hey everyone,” you stutter.

“It’s alright, no need to panic, I get that this is a lot,” a reassuring female voice on the other end pipes in.

Mikasa. God, you miss her. With your feelings about Eren on the forefront of your mind, you never stopped to think about how long it had been since you two have spoken. You two had such fun together once upon a time. She didn’t deserve your silence.

“It’s good to hear your voice, Mimi.”

She chuckles at the nickname.

“You too.”

“Anyway,” Armin redirects, “this is actually a business call. A better one than last time, I hope.”

Your stomach drops.

“I’m listening.”

“We just left Eren’s apartment. He’s in really bad shape, and he’s very angry at all of us. So angry that he just quit the band.”

“Wow… that’s tough.”

You don’t quite know what else to say. It’s not undeserved, at least when it comes to Armin, but this puts everyone else in limbo. Knowing how close Mikasa and Eren are, you can’t imagine she’s taking this well.

“We’re not giving up,” Mikasa asserts, “We’re gonna try to win him over.”

“How? Eren isn’t exactly a wishy-washy kinda guy. I’m sure he meant it,” you question.

“You gotta talk to him.”

“And say what exactly?”

Silence. You figured that they may not have thought very far ahead, as all of this sounds pretty fresh.

“I actually have an idea,” a new voice pipes in.

“Oh, great, more plans! We definitely don’t need any of that shit right now, Connie,” Jean grumbles.

“This is actually something I think will work, and to be honest I didn’t even come up with it. Our fans did.”

“Our fans?” you question.

“Yeah, they actually exist. They’re just harder to find because the big accounts are… extremely opinionated.”

“What’ve you got, Connie?” Armin asks, optimism injected back in his voice.

“People are looking at the release date and thinking that it’s on the same day because we have features from each other on the singles. The idea’s gotten some attention, good and bad. But from what Armin said to us earlier, it sounds like we wanna get rid of the people who don’t respect the art. I think this would be a good way to do that, and it would be a good way to squash the beef. And if we do that…”

“Eren might be back in,” you finish.

“If you’re in,” Mikasa affirms, “Eren will be too. We can all tell he cares about you still.”

“Yeah, pretty much all of our songs have been about you since he met you,” Jean adds.

Your chest flutters.

“All of it?”

“I wish I was kidding. Some of them made it on the last album, but the dude is constantly writing sappy lyrics about you. He refuses to write anything else.”

A part of you assumed Armin was exaggerating when he told you the ways in which Eren has dimmed since you two parted ways. You’ve come to expect that from him. Jean, however, has always been straightforward.

It was always easier to hate Eren, knowing that he hated you too. Over the years, it became a shield to hide your pain behind. Very few people know exactly how difficult his leaving was for you. Your discography displays some of that pain, but there are still parts of it that are unknowable to you. All around you are reminders of him, all the time.

It only was a few months of your life, but you’ve known for years that these small, every day pains would stick with you forever. Your reluctance to participate comes from a fear of facing it — a fear of making small pains large again — but it’s being slowly replaced with hope.

You inhale deeply, knowing you could easily come to regret what you’re about to tell them.

“I’m in.”

______________________

taglist:

@6sakusa

[enmi-land]

hia diaa! i want to make a enhypen 8th member oc can you give me tips on how to write stories better🥹

OMGGG GOOD LUCK ON YOUR BLOG!! and hope it goes well for you!! lemme know when you make it so i can pop on over and give you lots of love 💟 but ahhh i think i did give tips to someone here about writing but can’t seem to find the post 😭 but anyway!! idk how much i can help but here’s some i learnt along the way while writing for a while 💖💖

don’t force yourself to write ! sometimes we feel inspired and sometimes we don’t. getting used to the fact that you won’t be constantly able to write works is a good mindset to have, since you don’t want to be burnt out!! that’s one of the things i got to accept recently as you probably know form my recent short lived hiatus. but yeah, sometimes we just need to let things sit for a while and that’s totally okay! sometimes, the best things you can possibly make are the ones that take a while.

sometimes simple is best ! your writing doesn’t have to be shakespeare level to be considered “good” and it’s often a misconception that you have to be. but rlly, the main purpose of writing stories like this (other than having fun ofc!!) is that the audience is able to the world through your character’s lenses and feel what they’re feeling. as long as you get the mentions across, you’ve already achieved your purpose. so don’t worry if it’s not flowery or full of description.

realism + fantasy ! the unique thing about added member blogs is that there isn’t much creative freedoms if that makes sense?? it’s fiction so you don’t have to have pinpoint accuracy, but bc technically the world is set in THIS universe (where enha are idols), you probably won’t be able to do an ‘enemies to lovers’ or a ‘bad boy!member’ as you would if you were writing a college au. that being said, once again, it’s totally up to you what you write!! as long as they aren’t portrayed as serial killers or in a gang, or (one of my pet peeves personally) complete jerks for no reason and with no redeeming qualities, you should be okay!

write things you enjoy writing ! since you’re going to be in this character’s head a lot, it will be easier for you if they’re someone you’re genuinely interested in, and part of that can mean your actual character (are they someone you like to be writing for?) or your plot (is it something you like to read as a reader??)!! because as it happens, the more you like something, the more time you’ll spend on it, meaning the more you’ll improve with time! it’s a simple science but it works really well, and it hasn’t failed me before.

be comfortable with saying no ! which goes to say, going off the last point, don’t write things you’re not comfortable with yet. even if they’re requests and you feel bad for rejecting someone, it’s best to have boundaries, and the last thing you need is for a safe space for you as a writer to become another place where you’re feeling anxious or uncomfortable. it’s your blog and you make the rules, so no one can come at you for doing what you want with it!! and if they do just send them my way heheh >:)

bonus tip ! and last of all, this is a tip for making your oc in general, but have some things in their history that you can relate to personally. they don’t have to be exactly the same as you, but if they’re someone that shared some similarities, it will be easier for you to be able to write them in a way that makes them feel real!! for me personally, i can relate to mila in terms of personality, and while we don’t really have the same beliefs or even background, we still have enough similarities that I don’t end up writing someone who is too ‘2d’. she’s imperfect, she makes mistakes, and sometimes she may not be that likeable for some readers bc she’s too ‘cringe’ or ‘cutesy’, but that’s part of what makes her feel more real (to me at least), so remember that it’s okay to make your oc flawed. we all are. and that’s what will make them that much easier to love. <33

[liquidstar]

I have an OC ask! Although more specifically, it's a question about the worldbuilding of the setting your OCs are in.

What's the deal with these Guilds that all of your characters seem to be a part of?

Why were the guilds created? What do the guilds do? How does one create a guild? How does one join a guild? How does the ranking system of the guilds work?

(I realize you were probably hoping for questions about specific characters, but all the questions I could think of are worldbuilding ones)

Oh PLEASE don’t be sorry! I absolutely love these questions and I’m SO excited to ramble about worldbuilding!!!! Thank you so much :D

It might be a lot, I’m going to sort of bulletpoint through this to make it easier. Otherwise it’ll become WAAAYYY too long and hard to read 😅so you can just skim!! you’re not under any obligation to read this in detail lol im not heartless

Either way I super appreciate the ask and thank you for going out of your way to send it!!!! it gives me a reason to jot it all down too so tysm <3

Oh PLEASE don’t be sorry! I absolutely love this question and I’m SO excited to ramble about it!!!! Thank you so much :D

I’m going to sort of bulletpoint through this to make it easier, otherwise it’ll become WAAAYYY too long and hard to read 😅 you can skim you’re not under any obligation to read this in detail lol

SO as for how they were created:

★Powers (ethos) started developing in people, not long later monsters started to pop up. Villages and travelers need help as monsters become more and more of a threat. ★A new job, “hunter,” becomes a necessity. Hunters are people with powers who can fight the monsters. Pretty straight forward. Hunters charge money in exchange for their services ★Fees become extortionate since the job is a necessity. Since hunters are still rare it’s easy for one person or group to have a monopoly in a specific area. ★To prevent this, groups of hunters band together to make larger activities centralized to local hubs throughout wider regions. Guilds. ★Eventually the kingdom takes over the guilds itself, making them function as an extension of the kingdom's defense forces. The kingdom heavily pushes guilds but at the same time passes laws to regulate them and have more direct control. ★Groups who refused to participate in the kingdom’s enforcement of these rules were considered illegal- Dark guilds. Because of this they end up taking on more unethical missions, functioning like organized crime rings. In some places they may function as mafia-style protection brackets. ★Individuals are allowed to continue work as solo hunters, however many choose not to because being affiliated with a guild gives way to more benefits (better access to missions, higher pay, often a place to live, and quick access to help from other members). ★Guilds are also considered a potential gateway to becoming a bonafide knight, however nowadays part of a knight’s duty is also to suppress the guilds and keep them in line with the kingdom’s wishes. ★It’s important to understand that the guild system was about control. The laws passed to prevent extortion had become excuses for this, and the dark guilds became examples of what is “bound to happen” when not following this law, when in reality it was the kingdom itself that pushed them there, by limiting options outside of their direct control. ★Control was very important at the start of all this, since there was a lot of panic. Panic isn’t good. Suppression and control are important, things need to be kept under lock and key. It’s really weird that monsters popped up around the same time as the powers did, right? Suppression and control are important.

For what guilds do, (how they’re made, how you join, and the ranking system):

★Like I said above, they’re centralized hubs for hunters within certain regions. But what exactly does that entail? Well ★Missions requests along with rewards will be sent to the guild from other areas within their region. Hunters within the guild will accept them and do the jobs as they need to be done. ★For more immediate problems there may be people stationed at certain “problem” areas. Also, over time, smaller guilds aside from the main one have started to form which can be called on for more immediate help too, they just won’t take on the big jobs. ★Otherwise guild members tend to live at the guild's housing, typically dorms. ★All missions have a star ranking to go with them! From one to five. One star being very easy entry-level missions (Ones where you might not even have to fight anything but just act as a guide) to five star missions being “There’s a very good chance you will die trying. Good luck!” ★Members of the guild are given a ranking of their own by the guildmaster. It’s a weighing of their skill and experience. So if you’re an expert but still a newbie to the guild, you’ll still have to spend some time proving yourself as capable before climbing the rankings. ★Naturally, the more stars, the higher the price, so there’s a lot of incentive for people to work their way up. Five stars might even be scouted as knights. ★When you first join a guild you’re a no-star. You’re expected to shadow people on their missions until you’re a fully fledged member with your own star(s). ★The sign-up process is different for each guild, but mostly it just consists of talking to the guildmaster. Some will let you join on the spot, others may ask for a show of your skills, or even a requirement to pass certain tests. It will depend on the guildmaster and how they conduct things. ★If YOU wanna be a guildmaster there are pretty much two ways to do it. Either you get the title from the previous guildmaster or you go and start your very own guild! Maybe you’ll even grow it big enough to join with the big ones someday. Who knows? ★But the process of actually creating a guild is a lot more bureaucratic. It’s gotta be kingdom approved and everything, and then you have to get people to actually want to join. But it’s been done before, so it’s worth a shot.

OK NOW this part wasn’t really in your questions so I wouldn’t even blame you if you stopped reading here but I wanna ramble about each Specific guilds lore (At least the relevant ones)

★The main guild is Nova Stella, and though a few generations ago it was considered a “rising star,” it’s pretty well established as the main guild of its area by now. The current guildmaster is Venus, and while she can be very particular about how things are run, she doesn’t actually care much for the kingdom’s laws. It’s Venus’s rules here. As a guild, they’re all technically doing a lot of stuff they’re not allowed to be doing. Stuff like, you know, having members who are former pirates or just straight up some mystery guy they found, or taking some mission requests under the table to avoid the bureaucracy which is borderline dark guild behavior. Nova Stella takes a very “people first” approach. Don’t snitch to the knights or else. ★Gladiatoria is the opposite- it’s the current #1 ranked guild and you don’t get that far without fitting into the perfect mold. Its guildmaster, Mars, personally trains all the members with a militaristic philosophy. Might makes right. It’s not an environment suited for most people, there’s a lot of pressure to succeed. People can say whatever they want, but the guild does have the results to back it up- It’s actually relatively new, it was only founded about 30 years ago, and only became a household name within the last decade. The guildmaster is a very determined person. ★Pandemonium has similar aspirations, though it’s technically been around for years it’s also only blown up in notoriety ever since Satrn, the most recent guildmaster, took over a few years ago. This is mainly because his approach has been to challenge other guilds for their control over a certain area- effectively turf wars. Is this ALLOWED? Kinda, it’s an old practice that people don’t really expect to happen anymore. And that’s how you get ‘em. ★Dragon Tree is so much more chill than any of the previously mentioned guilds. It’s not a huge guild, but it’s an old one. It’s been functioning inside of a tree for decades now, since before the current Guildmaster, Uranus, was born. It’s a respected guild, though it has a reputation for eccentric members. They mostly just value nature and want to keep peace, which is a hard philosophy to hate. ★Owl Feather is an even older guild, one of the very first guilds in fact. Since it was founded by a scholar, it became a guild dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge alongside the typical guildwork. Rather, the two go hand-in-hand. Despite the guild’s age, current guildmaster, Mercury, is one of the youngest at only 28. She doesn’t really act like it though, so please do not test her on this. As all previous guildmasters have been, she’s very dedicated to spreading the messages of their founder. ★Lunar Flare is just here for a good time. And that’s not a misspelling, it’s a pun! It’s a guild with a lot of flare, filled with people who love the arts, with a passion for bringing joy to people. To some, this may seem like a simple gimmick to attract attention and missions, but the core belief of their founder and guildmaster, Jupiter, is different. People don’t just need to be saved physically, people need joy, people need art. He believes art is a way to give hope to people who need it, to spread morale. So a guild filled with hunters and artists is killing two birds with one stone. But he would never kill a bird, that’s just mean. ★Cobalt Heart is a fairly old guild and the first official naval guild, though guilds themselves had already been established for a while by that point. All its members specialize specifically in naval and seaside missions, though they may occasionally take on other ones too. Of course the current guildmaster is Neptune, and he’s already training his son to take over someday. Cobalt Heart is also well known for being just really fucking cool.

There’s also guilds that aren’t really guilds:

★The Timber Scouts are kiiiiind of a guild. Kind of, not really. It’s basically just boyscouts/girlscouts, but as a training program for kids who wanna get into guildwork. The current guildmaster (Generous title, they’re more of a troupe leader) is Ceres, who is truly stressed the fuck out on account of The Children. ★The knights, mentioned throughout, are basically who uphold the law and control the guilds, but they’re also the main defense of the kingdom itself. Meaning any mission beyond a 5 star automatically goes to them. The highest ranking knights are the Zodiac knights and the official court of the current ruler. ★Tartarus, a dark guild. Led by Pluto, who stands at a fearsome 5’0, it’s a guild filled with bandits and outlaws. There are no rules for the jobs they take on; they can be your protectors or they can be hitmen. Though it would be pretty hard to feel safe around this group, knowing they might decide to sell your kidneys on the black market. Who knows. The rule of Tartarus is every man for themselves. They aren’t a family, they’re lone wolves who happen to be working together. Don’t be surprised if you end up stabbed in the back. ★The Sisters are… Not really a guild at all. Not even a dark guild. They don’t do missions (legal or otherwise) the same way that any other guild would. So it’s not fitting to call them that. Perhaps an organization, an alliance, people with a common goal, it wouldn’t even really be wrong to call them a cult. They have plans, they’re working towards them. That’s the main thing. Calling each other “sisters” doesn’t help with the cult allegations either. All I can say is someone get that 10 year old outta there.

AND YEAH THAT’S IT.

Unless I have any blindspots but it’s getting very late for me so I should probably wrap up my ramblings. Thank you for reading this far if you did, I appreciate the question a lot and I’m really happy I got to ramble as much as I did <3 ty and goodbyebye

[dearweirdme]

“The closest thing to suspicious Jikook have ever done that is somewhat on a similar wavelength is the Jimin’s birthday Vlive. The way Jimin initially talks to him over the phone is a little 🤨 which I honestly would have dismissed were it not for Hoseok later saying what he did ('but why are you doing this [live] in his [jungkook's] studio?') and inadvertently yielding a reaction out of Jimin that didn’t make sense. Hoseok doubling down on that by giving him a hug of reassurance (which, to me, felt a bit consoling in a way, like I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, oops) made it even weirder, but it was funny primarily because I don’t think Hoseok intentionally meant to create that awkward atmosphere. My feelings on the Vlive would be a little more concrete if we were able to see Jungkook’s facial expressions (jungkook can be heard almost giving an explanation but then just resorting to chuckling), but I work with what I have.”

copy pasted that from a jikook blog, thoughts?

Hi anon!

Aaargh... Jkkrs don't like when I do this, but I'm gonna, because ofcourse I have thoughts.

So, this is the live you mention:

Please go watch the whole after you've read my thoughts, and you'll most likely see what I see. What often happens is someone (humhum.. a Jkkr) makes a comment on twitter about a situation being sus, it gets picked up by others and the whole thing goes viral without actually being true. Jkkrs take a few instances, enlarge it... and this live goes down in history as a Jikook moment (which isn't exactly wrong, because Jk and Jimin were together for a bit) yet the context is completely wrong. It gets copied by newer fans who might not have even seen the whole live.

Jimin was nervous, awkward, and shy from the start. He makes the same comments and gestures indicating that throughout the entire live. (excuse my bad screenshots 🙈)

He makes it very clear from the start that he feels awkward doing a live alone, that he doesn't know what to say, that he feels awkward when there's a silent moment. He actually calls Jk (who he knows is still in the building after practise, working out) to come help him do this live, because he feels awkward.

Jk agrees to come for a bit, which evidently makes Jimin feel more at ease. You have to understand that, even though they're used to it, being in front of a screen, alone, for millions of people... who basically all comment "happy birthday", is not easy. You have to constantly come up with things to say to make it interesting. Having another member there makes it easier, because they can interact with each other, which is more natural than interacting with army from within the comments. Tae struggles with this as well. So Jk being there makes Jimin more comfortable.

Jimin states that it feels different with Jk there, which is true, because he is more at ease.

It then becomes clear that Jk is not going to spend Jimin's birtday dinner with his parents. That he is really bad at giving gifts (inlcuding to Jimin). Jimin even says that Jk is becoming more like Yoongi, by claiming a git is on the way... yet the result is never shown. Not very boyfriend-ish imo. He also makes it clear he’s not going to stay long, since he wants to finish his workout and there’s people waiting on him.

There’s no actual ‘sus’ moments there. They are not extremely touchy or close or flirty, they’re just friendly and Jimin is thankful that Jk came to help him out.

Then Hobi enters, and it doesn’t get sus then also imo. Maybe confusing, since he’s asking why Jk is in this studio… but I think the awkwardness is from Hobi realizing that Jimin felt awkward alone. He asks/states ‘are you doing this (this live) now?’ Which is a rhetorical question.

Then the ‘sus’ would be this:

But I think Jimin gets shy because it’s implied he was feeling awkward alone. Hobi certainly knows Jimin and Jk wouldn’t have been doing something sus on camera for millions to watch, so that cannot be it imo. Jimin and Jk have never not been allowed to do stuff together, so then being there for this live isn’t sus. The only palpable tension comes from Jimin feeling nervous about doing a live alone, something I think Hobi would know Jimin would feel. Hobi asking Jk if he prepared the cake, and his surprise and disbelief when Jk jokingly answers ‘yes’ tells me he would not have suspected Jk to do something like that for Jimin. If Jikook were boyfriends, something like that would not make Hobi react like this. Jimin and Hobi are also more touchy and physical than Jimin and Jk.

After they all leave Jimin comes back and addresses the awkwardness he feels again.

So yeah… that’s basically my take on it. I don’t think it was sus at all. It was a precious live to me. I love how open Jimin was about feeling awkward, because as he stated himself.. there was a time he wouldn’t let himself be vulnerable like that. Being vulnerable makes us stronger and I think that shows in Jimin.

[basil-the-scorned]

(A very late) day 6- Favorite Feud/Relationship

AN: This was written when Hangman was part of the Elite again in that Blood and Guts match with Swerve, and Cole popped up every once in a while. So Hangman is not as he is now. This was also written for day 6 of Hangman's birthday celebration in July, but then Hangman swung for the fences with going sicko mode, so this just stayed in my docs. That's a good way to sum up a bunch of these honestly.

And yes, this is also Part of Basil's Drabble December/WIP-A-Thon

Today, Cole was by himself for once while Adam finally was able to slip away a lot easier from the team. Side by side once again, with everyone else glaring at them. His hands were rubbing the zipper near his jacket, a makeshift grounding method.

The last time they saw each other, the world title was long gone out of his hands. Instead, Adam had a cold metal pipe protecting people he cared about out of instinct. This time they were face to face once again and Cole was staring at him with a look he couldn't quite read into. Then he heard the crowd in his ear and pushed that look in the back of mind along with everything else on his plate as he helped Matt up.

God only knew what he was getting into by that single pull. If he would have known what he knew now, he would have gone back in time and kept himself where he originally was. He would have saved that pipe for people that actually needed it.

(A lot of would haves for sure. He might have done the same damn thing anyway.)

"Page." The first word he has said since Adam sat down.

“Cole.” His voice was raspy, not on purpose for once. 

He took in the silence that followed to actually think about what to say next. Cole beat him to it.

"So you're bum rushing your revenge now, I guess?" A question that was wrapped in something else. It was anger but also something that made his heart ache because it was almost familiar to him.

They were close once. The two Adams together, protecting each other in ROH from everyone else, mocking everyone that came their way. The same way Adam slowly started caring about everyone in Bullet Club, he cared about Cole.

Then around the same time AEW was just getting its feet together, Cole disappeared.

Adam doesn't know all about what happened or why. No one else said anything else about it. In fact, no one really looked for him at all. No flyers, them running around the buildings they would be in, the same way they would do for him when WWE kidnapped him.

He just knew Adam Cole had disappeared, the Elite moved on and eventually so did Adam Page.

Then Cole came back four years later, slightly different than Adam remembered. Same blue eyes, wet curly hair down his back, but something...different in the way he looked at him.

He still can't exactly put what he thought it is, even when he's getting it again. 

There were nights where he remembered: Many nights of talking, hanging out, Cole showing him games he knew little about, passing out against each other either though one of their rooms were just a few steps away. For every night he had problems with Kenny and the Bucks, his mind went back to those moments. Him and Cole against the world.

That's what he wanted to say, to get something out of his mouth to make the awkwardness that was building go away. But the words wouldn't come out to give to Cole. They were stuck in his throat, lumped together with everything else he wanted to say.  

So Cole, like always, takes over. “Are you really here for me? Or do you still have your eyes on him?” It almost sounded like the way Hangman’s been feeling, all venom and bitterness whenever Swerve was around even through word of mouth. Except he sounded…hurt? 

Adam finally looked over and saw how Cole was looking straight ahead, yet he could see the frown that was trying to settle on his face. It was almost as bad as the face Matt pulled when he didn’t get his way, just as hurt and eyes shiny enough to make the strongest man break if they’re not careful. This felt more…open. 

Who would have thought it would have been MJF of all people to make him this way?